#crosshair is bad at feelings

[dangraccoon]

Let's Live

Day 31 ~ survivor's guilt ~ (alt. prompt)

Crosshair

Word Count: 1008 Content: references to The Outpost and Plan 99, self-sacrifice, guilt, survivor's guilt

He wasn’t sure if it was the violent shivers that rolled endlessly through his body or the sharp cry of the ice vultures but Crosshair found himself awake and sitting upright in the early morning hours. 

A soft, warm breeze fluttered the curtains of his open window. He could hear the sound of the tide coming in, splashing against the rocks near their cozy home. The sun was far enough from rising that the moonyos weren’t even starting to chitter yet.

Crosshair groaned, using his remaining hand to pull the blanket up over him as he flopped back down onto the too-comfortable mattress. 

He knew about phantom limbs, of course–Echo had grumbled about it enough to pique his curiosity–but it didn’t stop the frustration that rose in his chest as his body insisted that his right hand was shaking again. He shoved the end of his arm under his pillow, praying for the “out of sight, out of mind” mindset Wrecker had long used as an excuse for his forgetfulness.

It never came. Groaning once more–as though acting like a petulant child might make him feel better–he shoved the blanket away, swinging his legs over the side of his bed.

Their house was an older one on the island; one of the elder residents had expressed that they wanted the batch to have it as she moved in with her daughter and son-in-law. “It was good enough to raise five kids in, so I’m sure Miss Omega can handle you lot in it.”

He walked through the house, idly thinking he should visit Mrs. Neawick soon–she was one of the only residents that could match his snark and she made sour hard candies that she pretended not to realize Crosshair loved–while stepping around the occasional creaking boards. He knew Hunter could hear him, but the least he could do was not make the disturbance worse.

He made it to the kitchen, noticing the caf maker’s timer starting the machine up. He scowled at the flimsi tooka calendar attached to the fridge. Omega had insisted on picking out different colored markers for each of them to write their various activities. “This way we can plan things together, too!”

He followed the sloppy orange scrawl that indicated Wrecker’s schedule and it made sense. Although Wrecker hated caf with a fiery passion, he’d come to rely upon it–mixed with an ungodly amount of cream, sugar, and whatever syrupy flavoring Omega had picked out, of course–for his early morning fishing trips with a fisherman he’d befriended.

Crosshair felt a little guilty that he couldn’t recall the man’s name, especially when he found their symbiotic relationship so amusing; the short and skinny fisherman had someone who could pull the lines up easily and carry their haul, and Wrecker had someone that never tired of his boisterous retellings of their missions and misadventures.

While he waited for the pot to finish brewing, he moved to the window, looking out over one of the lower sections of the island. Dawn was still an hour or so out, but the sky was just beginning to glow with the idea of first light. The various light-sensitive lamps still lit lined the walkways and outsides. He had to admit the view was… nice.

“Cross?” Wrecker hummed. “You’re up early.”

Crosshair glanced over his shoulder at his brother, who was wiping the sleep from his eyes. He shrugged.

“You okay?” Wrecker asked, joining him next to the window.

“Fine,” he murmured, though he could barely even convince himself of it. Wrecker would see right through him.

“Thinking about Tantiss?”

Crosshair winced. “No.”

“If you don’t tell me, ’m gonna go wake up Omega,” Wrecker shrugged, nudging Crosshair’s shoulder. “She’ll make you talk.”

Crosshair eyed his brother, almost trying to call his bluff with a glare.

“Alright,” Wrecker said, his tone shifting from sleepy concern to somewhat irritable. “That’s fine, Cross. Don’t talk about it. You’ll feel great keepin’ it all to yourself.”

Wrecker went about preparing his caf, pointedly ignoring Crosshair as he wrestled his unruly pride.

“Fine,” he growled, stalking over to the kitchen counter next to his brother to lean against it. “I had another nightmare. That’s why I’m awake.”

Wrecker’s facade of indifference fell almost immediately. He nodded, prodding him to continue.

“Not about T-Tantiss this time,” he continued, face twisting into a scowl at the way he struggled to push the words out. “Barton IV and… Mayday.”

Wrecker’s eyes lifted to look at Crosshair. He didn’t let a single noise slip, terrified that if he did Crosshair would retreat. Where Wrecker had always been open, Crosshair was the opposite. He’d been skittish around emotions since they were barely out of the tube.

“Mayday was the commander at the Outpost,” he elaborated. He’d only mentioned Mayday to Omega before, and that was only because she asked. “There was only him and two others left from his squad. They’d been there over a year guarding… stormtrooper equipment. Getting picked off by raiders. The lieutenant I– I killed sent us off to track the raiders. After we found and… eliminated them, there was an avalanche. I would’ve been killed if he hadn’t pushed me out of the way.”

Wrecker couldn’t help but notice the way Crosshair shivered.

“I carried him back to the Outpost. He was hurt a-and by the time we got there, that lieutenant… h-he wouldn’t get a medic. Mayday…”

A shaking sob crawled up his body and he was quickly encircled by Wrecker’s arms. He was powerless to stop the tears rolling down his cheek.

“He should’ve lived– it-it should’ve been me th-that–”

Wrecked shushed him. “Don’t talk like that. He gave his life for you to live, Cross.”

His hand clung to Wrecker’s shirt helplessly. “I… I owe him everything.”

“I know, vod. But we can’t get stuck in all the shouldas,” Wrecker whispered. “We owe it to them to live our lives ‘nd be as happy as we can, right?”

Wrecker didn’t say who he was thinking of. He didn’t need to. Crosshair nodded.

“Then let’s live. For them.”

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Thanks for reading! - River

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Tags: @writing-positivelyexisting @nekotaetae @lokigirlszendaya @get-wr3ckered @jediknightjana @idoubleswearimawriter @lucyysthings @unstable-kiwi @6oceansofmoons @l3xi3luv @winter-phoenix1995 @serenityselene @nomercyforthewarrior @ravenclawbitch426 @luna-the-lone-red-wolf @padawancat97 @flowered-bicycles @error6gendernotfound @techs-goggles9902

[mroddmod]

everyone be quiet i'm manifesting

[shellshooked]

yeah you thought that this was the end?

[zaana]

Crosshair being a big brother

[blairaptor]

Happy Halloween! I drew a haunted house reaction photo with the Bad Batch~ 😱💀

[misstoodles-doodles]

Peaceful Pabu time 🧡

Edit: Fixed some lighting

[here-comes-the-moose]

Crosshair: Echo help! There’s a creature under my bed and it’s really ugly. 🥺

Tech, in the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you, Crosshair.

[just-here-with-my-thoughts]

"Clone Force 99 died with Tech"

which means

Crosshair doesn't think Clone Force 99 died when he left

He knows they went on without him

For a long time

[robotsandramblings]

we were absolutely robbed of this followup moment:

Phee: Any friend of Brown Eyes [Tech] is a friend of mine.

Phee: [turns around and starts heading for her ship]

Crosshair: [turns his head to Hunter with the most confused look ever on his face]

Crosshair: [mouthing silently to Hunter] "Brown Eyes" ???

[the-good-batch]

THE WAY IT KEEPS BEING MILKED BY TBB CREATORS/VIEWERS HOW DARK THE SECOND HALF OF SEASON THREE WILL BE IT CONCERNS ME

[levi-venn]

When CT-9904, the clone that would one day become "Crosshair", was first pulled from his birthing tank, he did not cry.  

This was by design.

Engineered to become a “stealth soldier”, 04's vocal cords were shaped so that he could not raise his voice above a frustrated rasp. It was often muted by his incubator.

CT-9902, who would one day adopt the moniker "Tech", was also silent, but this was always a cause for concern. When 02 was quiet, he was most likely attempting his next escape. He had kicked the latch off his first incubator. He had poked the hinges off his second. By the third, Nala Se had nowhere to put the baby escape artist.

Putting 02 in 04's incubator was supposed to be a temporary solution.

A week later, when the new, reinforced incubator arrived, she picked up 02, and found his hand locked with 04's with an iron grip. 

CT-9902 cried. 

CT-9904 hissed.

And so, the ever patient Nala Se left 02 where he was there.  There were no more escape attempts after that.

One day, CT-9902 began to cry.

Nala Se was in the middle of calming 03 who was trying to wreck the changing table with tiny, but mighty fists.

"Omega, see to 02, please, he needs to be changed."

Omega slid off her stool and without looking up from her datapad she said. "It's 04 who needs changing."

"How do you know?" Nala Se asked.

"02 cries louder when 04 needs help."

- Excerpt from Cross and Crow (Read series on AO3)

[raevulsix]

His eyes said it all.

Come join and be a part of our discord community, a place for Star Wars fanart artists & enthusiasts get together & hang out or chill, share work and vibe! ✨ Also check out Star Wars RP Discord, another server dedicated for the fun of starting some fun roleplay sessions!

[zaana]

I love drawing this trio!

[totally-not-your-babe]

I'd like to inform (warn) everyone that The Bad Batch Final (god it hurt's) Season will be my personality for the rest of the year. (My family, friends and therapist gonna love this...)

Thank you for your understanding.

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

Just in case you were feeling happy today, allow me to share an animation detail that always gets me right in the gut:

If you look closely, you can see Hemlock et al. kept Crosshair strapped down tightly enough to leave a red mark on his forehead.

They don't show the torture process, and they don't have to. Details like these reveal enough on their own.

And as if refusing to give up any intel on his squad wasn't enough, Crosshair voluntarily goes back to this living hell to save his sister 😭

[dindjarindiaries]

Every day I think about Hunter looking over at Crosshair on Tantiss once they’ve saved Omega to gently guide her to his direction first