#critique me you cowards
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I wrote a thing with Fern after he gets his friend killed, enjoy his suffering :)
I'm not a hero.
The crowd roars as Fern and his party make their way into town, all celebrating the defeat of the wrathful Ancient being that was terrorizing the people of the Insomniaverse. The group of ragged adventurers move through the sea of people sluggishly, never returning waves of excitement, never smiling. Every member of the party is weary, battered, and exhausted. More importantly, they're all grieving. Silently, yes, but loss weighs heavily on their shoulders, still. Only one of them has the energy to mourn right now, but the rest will soon follow suit.
I'm not a hero.
Horrified and simultaneously numb, Fern automatically makes his way to their room at the inn, the rest of the group following suit dazedly. The mighty orc, Shel, sways slightly on her feet as she walks, looking as if she might faint at any moment. The elf, Kavarrah, looks shell-shocked and disoriented as she walks, gazing at the familiar surroundings with confusion. "Al" and <Creator> shuffle along at the back of the group, their expressions downcast. The townspeople are oblivious to the distress of the adventurers, only caring that the triumphant heroes have returned, never noticing that a member of the party is missing.
I'm not a hero.
Fern slams the door to the inn open, walking into his room without so much of a nod at the innkeeper, entering his room and promptly closing the door.
He collapses face-first onto the rickety bed without making a sound, not acknowledging his friends opening the door and shutting it behind them as they enter quietly. Nobody speaks for the rest of the evening.
...
He wakes up to Kavarrah yelling his name.
"FERN, YOU BASTARD!" The elf shouts in his face, violently shaking him by the shoulders. Her face is contorted in fury, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. "YOU KILLED HER. ANCIENTS, YOU KILLED HER."
Fern looks at her groggily, trying to process what Kavarrah is saying to him and shake the sleep from his brain at the same time. He sits up, rubbing his eyes and blinking a couple of times before it hits him.
Kira is dead.
And he let her die.
He, the mage and designated healer, failed to save his best friend after she died to save their sorry asses.
Fern stares at his bed blankly, the weight of his mistake hitting him harder than Shel could ever hope to. Tears silently stream down his face as Kavarrah keeps screaming and sobbing at him, punching and shoving him furiously.
Without a word, Fern gets out of bed and starts to gather his few possessions from around the room, shoving them into his backpack without care.
"The hell are you doing?!" Kavarrah cries, her tone softening in confusion, though still filled with fury. Fern glances back at his elven friend tiredly.
"Home," Fern replies softly, zipping up his bag and hefting it over his shoulder. "I don't belong here anymore, Kav. Not without all of us being together. Not without Kira."
With that, he opens the door and steps out, shutting the door behind him, intending to never return.
I'm not a hero.
...
...
...
Fern has to see his old friends again.
The Insomniaverse has gone to shit again, with yet another Ancient being rising from the Void and taking over the universe, and Fern is being sent to stop it.
Why?
Because <Creator> said so.
Because she thinks I'm a hero.
Uh this got long and isn't my best work, but I hope my dumb story is interesting! I'm open to criticism/critique and questions about my characters and their world, so ask away!
#Fern's Misadventures#honestly I love Fern sm#he's my baby#i want to gently squeeze him like a strezz toy#writing#creative writing#oc story#oc writing#oc#my writing#writing shit#excuse my shit writing#story writing#series???#slight angst#tw // references to death#mild swearing#Fern sucks lol#so does everyone else tbh#critique me you cowards#i need feedback
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Hi GT,
Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but I absolutely love the recs you've given (you've introduced me to tomione, and I love it!) and I was wondering if it's possible to give you some recs in return? There are some books and fics that definitely have dramione / got vibes, and I was wondering if I could share them with you!
So glad you've enjoyed them! Feel free to rec me anything you want. I've read most of the classic recs in terms of fic and adjacent content (Cruel Prince et al), but I'll try anything that's well-written. My tastes run towards weird and/or audaciously creative stuff, and I can forgive a lot of weaknesses in plot on the grounds of (1) ambition or (2) character work. My turnoffs are instalove, protagonists who can't fail, and most Y/A (I'm not a hater, I swear, I just need characters who can say "fuck" when their leg gets chopped off.)
I'm also a fan of weird and fucked-up dynamics.(Wuthering Heights was my favorite book for a while, and as a teenager I wrote an AU in which the book ends on a long sex scene where Heathcliff fucks Cathy's ghost and then immediately gets murdered by Catherine 2.) Obviously, I am very normal.
#greenteacup asks#my beef with Y/A is mostly expressed in a dissonance between tone and content#LOVE the content. dystopia fantasy horror sex and blood — awesome. but question. why are they all saying 'darn'?#like in the vampire diaries where they'll watch people get eaten and then 2 episodes later be like 'omg SCHOOL DANCE'#(EDIT: actually in fairness. on the vampire diaries. it was mostly just caroline that did that. unfair example my apologies)#& i distinguish this critique from a common bitch-and-moan complaint about tv shows being interested in 'girly' things#like relationships and social standing. that is not my complaint. that shit is delicious. i will chomp that shit for days#my issue is that when the stakes oscillate wildly from episode to episode and i can't tell what the main thing is#like sorry. a story with murder in it is always going to be about murder. you can't make it not about murder#unfortunately! many have tried.#and in general i have difficulty reading about teenagers bc—#(she says having written 600k words about them OKAY I KNOW. i contain multitudes.)#because they're either mini-adults (preferred flavor. jude in the cruel prince nails this) or like leetol babies to me#and unless it's something like the hunger games where the Leetol Baby thing is part of the story#i'm like. hang on. you're 12 what are you doing here#percy jackson was hard for me to re-read as an adult for this reason#which is why they're enjoyable for teenagers! because as a teenager you DO feel like an adult#and you like reading books that treat you like one! nothing wrong with that! healthy even!#only then you get past the teenage years (mashallah) and you get stuff like twilight#where of COURSE bella doesn't think twice about 117 year old man falling in love with her#because he looks like a rich mysterious 17-year-old hottie#but you reread it later and it's like um well. that. could be explored a little more maybe.#i'm not even necessarily opposed to it. candidly. still team edward. i just think the dynamic should be more fucked up and juicy.#which Y/A authors are often reluctant to do. like. COWARDS! face the nasty consequences of your narrative decisions!#anyhow. you didn't ask for any of this. please give me your recs lovely person you seem very nice.
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Post from the POV of every fucking 43 year old who reads Leasebound
leasebound was written by a 200 iq genius who never made 1D mpreg and everyone who critiques them for any reason is bad. You critique the fact she wants trans people to fucking die?? bad faith. You critique her for anything outside her beliefs?? bad faith. Fuck you this piece of media is untouchable Huh whats dickriding is that a misogynist gendie dogwhistle. No?? Oh. Oh i see. Fuck.
#angelicmelon#leasebound#leaseboundweek2024#what if yall post your OWN critiques of leasebound and show us how its done. cowards#no piece of media is perfect. sorry#watch me be critical of my favorite medias#what the fuck is going on with Suitcase's hallucinations.#like why are we giving another character paranormal reasons for their hallucinations#Pillow's character was fucking ASSASSINATED in TPOT#and im PISSED about it#let women murder like gaslight gatekeep girlboss but dont make that their whole personality jfc#and finally dare i say that TADC's pilot episode was kind of mid#woah. i critique things i like too#how about YOU do it
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I know a lot of writers don't like unsolicited critiques of there work, but how do you feel about people politely letting you if there are mistakes in your work?
I mean things like the wrong version of "there" being used, not people being going "Um AcTuAlLy ThAt IsN't CaNoN!!" when you write space marine smut.
If you are ok with people pointing out slight mistakes, how would you like people to go about doing it? Are you ok with people just commenting on the work, or would you prefer a DM so that you can fix things up privately?
If you see a spelling error or something like that, feel free to post it in the comments of the post. that's where I'm most likely to see it. Just note that I can only edit the base post, reblogs will maintain all of my errors even if I fix them on the original post.
Also most writers tend to say no to unsolicited critique because 99.9% of the time the critique is just the person's personal preference and wants. 'it's ooc, they should've done this, i hate this character' and then they hide behind the 'concrit' excuse. So it's just easier to say no to it all than deal with all that. Also it's a hobby lol I don't have to improve it's not a hustle, i just want to enjoy writing my smut i get enough critique from my family XD
Just added that because i wanted to put my stance on the whole concrit thing. If I want it, I'll ask for it. This is my place to post my silly space marine drabbles not become some master writer lol.
#reply#i hate the whole 'you're a coward wahwah too sensitive no one wants critique nowadays your all just want to be praised'#besides the fact that it's usually only readers saying that i just hate the idea that you always have to be improving#i was burnt out 15 years ago let me write my shitty fanfics LOL
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That was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and everything I could have asked for right down to one of Varric's friends forcibly giving him an intervention with Bianca. Thank you and good day. Dragon Age is back and better than ever and I have reasons to live again.
#dragon age veilguard#dragon age spoilers#brekkie thoughts#SOLAS YOU BIG NOOB#very much showing off that ego of yours smh#varric was superb#harding was superb#neve#my new love#the ENVIRONMENTS#the fighting#no critiques#only excitement#give me a DATE YOU COWARDS#put it in my hands now#i cant go on without it
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#netanyahu sucks and is evil but idk about saying he is exactly as evil as the leaders of hamas#he hasnt done what they've done and i dont think he would#he sucks yes#awful corrupt blindsided idiot#but i wouldnt stab him on sight#or ever#hamas tho i would stab on sight#see the difference#i dont respect netanyahu that doesn't mean i need to compromise on truth to appease the antisemites and say look im just like you#that i too believe he is The Most Evil#they think hes that evil because of antisemitism and propaganda bs#if you remove that bs youre left with an idiot who should be in jail or fined and never respected#not someone who needs to choke on their own esophagus on facebook live#he sucks but you put me in a room with him were both coming out because hes not a genocidal terrorist#hes just a corrupt liable coward#as opposed to hamas who are in fact genocidal terrorists who love to rape and torture#i have zero problems saying this#the fact this will be seen as a defense of the man im actively insulting too instead of the critique it is on#our problematic tendency to concede to liars and antisemites#its ok to say hamas is worse#and you should because that is the priority.
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obsessed with the way the republican party’s two biggest platforms (pro police and anti gun control) literally led to its presidential candidate getting shot at
#now let me make it clear here and now for the feds i express no violent thoughts or intentions#i am merely critiquing the internal contradictions of the GOP and the consequences of their own beliefs#anyways it’s just very ironic like those old bastards are always talking about how we need more guns in this country#and that the police will protect us and now that’s finally catching up to them#they let a teenager with a gun into the premise there was no good guy with a gun to stop him and the police were as usual fucking cowards#if the democrats were smart they’d be using the shit out of this in their campaign and to pass some bipartisan bill#cause you know the GOP is scared that it’s gonna be one of them next#but alas that party is ran by a bunch of center right buffoons who’s only platform is getting elected#also the way the media can’t seem to figure out what this kids angle was#like you’re in the school rifle association but you fucking suck at it#you donate to the democratic party and then you register as a republican#you’re bullied in school SO YOU SHOOT THE PRESIDENT????#now the bullied in school narrative is so redundant when it comes to white male violence#but the theory that makes the most sense to me is that he was depressed and he wanted a way of going out while still being remembered#why he chose trump as his target when he fits the bill for a trump supporter idk why
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hods viewing in summary
#spongebob diner booth.jpg#➤ ooc. ┊ she’s nauseous,she’s hysterical,and she’s exhausted.#i love them so much. i simply.#if i had a serious critique it would be that i didnt think stokes really needed to be there – i would have rather had julia embodying the#double scientist / vampire expert to her fullest (much as i love thayer david it took away some of her Edge)#the less serious critique um WHY the fuck didn't roger bite anyone. also why did jeff get the kill instead of liz.#let liz stoddard kill for her fucking family you cowards#also seeing them happy at the party – with other friends ! society ! – brought me so much (brief) joy. doomed obviously doomed but.#AND THE SWIMMING POOL.
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I feel like there's a solid group of fans (in all fandoms) who forget that there ARE differences between fanfiction and traditional publishing.
Transformative work is great about allowing you to explore secondary POVs and characters who aren't the focus of a text.
But traditionally published books are by their nature more constrained in their format. The physical nature of books + the publishing system means they only have so many pages. And those pages need to serve the central narrative of a story.
It can be fun to puzzle out 'man but what about the implications of x'? or 'oh, I feel like there's a connection between A and B, that's fun to think about!' or 'okay, but from Character M's point of view this is so tragic, even though they literally only exist in three scenes'. That's why transformative work is transformative, and for me, it's the fun part of fandom!
But what that doesn't mean is that the author is being mean or cowardly for not exploring those things in the source text. An author's focus has to be ultimately on the story THEY want to tell, and what makes that narrative or those themes work.
They do not have the luxury of including every digression your brain might have fun exploring, and it doesn't make them bad authors if their narrative focus isn't the one you would have personally chosen.
"But such and such character was robbed! They only appeared in x scenes and then-"
Okay, but did the scenes they were in serve their purpose? Did we get a sense of how they meaningfully impacted other characters, the plot, or the themes while still having a sense of personhood?
You can critique whether or not an author was successful in using their characters for story purposes or whether they successfully communicated their underlying message or whether the author unintentionally/intentionally included a bias that weakens their writing.
But an author not chosing to spotlight your particular minor character favorite does not make them a "coward" or bad at their craft.
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The Hunt by Flaks314. Rachel loses her family to the Yeerks and it escalates from there. These three fanworks after book 23 have the writing style dead-on (the author said someplace that Animorphs were the only books he read in English), while still having unfathomably gripping tension. Erek lets Rachel experience her own death, and Cassie reassures her parents "It's just ketamine!"
Sacred Host and The Parallel by Qoheleth. The author thinks I'm going to hell for at least seven reasons, but annoyingly, the stories are really really good. In the former, a yeerk host tells her cagemate about her lord and savior Jesus Christ and gives multiple aliens really well-written religious grapples in alien terms. In the latter, a parallel universe Animorphs, "The Morph Force" end up in the Canon timeline and our main character is tempted to leave the war and stay as a civilian in her counterpart's place. It's some of the most intelligent fiction I've ever read, period, and I'm not sure if I mean that as an insult. Everyone should give it a shot. The worldbuilding alone. Yeerks apparently have martial arts in slug form.
It's gone from the internet but Wayback Machine should still have Cinnamonbunzuh.blogspot.com and Ifi's magical fic, "six days the Animorphs were idiots," which starts as "the clouds on the book covers are Marco's pot smoke" and ends with them solving the whole war in a week. Esplin and Edriss have a lousy date and Esplin becomes a depressed cat hoarder. The tone is a fantastic Cerebus rollercoaster. Always save your favorite fanfics! They can disappear anytime. Wayback doesn't have the sequels where we explore the backstories of Visser 5 and her host, and it's a loss. Rachel is forced to go to chee therapy. Jake is forced to negotiate with the Andalites while drunk.
And ceruleanshane's Animorphs Redux, one of the most compelling ones I've ever read. Sadly, it ends like two chapters into its own finale, but you can process the rest. Time resets back to book 20, with only certain people remembering the original - and Melissa Chapman finds the cube.
It's worth it for her alone. Her anxious, nerd-filled narrative voice, her crazy dynamic with absolutely everyone. But there's too many amazing parts. Wait till the Veleek shows up. Or when Jake's andalite morph is so sexy and female, Ax and Marco are paralyzed by "I haven't seen a girl in two years." Or the Helmacrons. Or Melissa's battle morph. You have no idea how much tragedy and comedy gold I'm avoiding spoilers for. Ax's reaction to learning Tobias' paternity remains probably the best version of that scene I've ever read.
And, for a crack palate cleanser, Morphcatcher - in which the members of a Kpop girl group are college students who find Elfangor in the woods, and his nearby sister the snarky battle lesbian. It's tricky sometimes - I don't know this band from Eve, much less who's older and younger, so sometimes the dongsang and eonni get confusing - but the authorial voice fizzles like champagne, and it tickles my brain just right. Andalite Oxygen is different from earth oxygen because it's blue.
What animorphs fics would you recommend by yourself or others, for people who haven't read any of them yet?
Anything by Poetry/@featherquillpen! I've read a bunch of their crossovers and enjoyed every one. They're masterful at capturing the goofy-yet-horrifying tone of Animorphs, and with unexpected crossovers. Though I haven't gotten around to reading Daemorphing, I've head good things and can recommend by proxy. That's my single biggest author rec. Fic recs:
Elfangor's Folly by Kim Hoppy is an excellent longfic series retelling. The premise is exactly what the name suggests — Elfangor survives the first book and stays on Earth. My favorite part of this one is the author's ability to capture the subtly-unreliable narration of Animorphs with Elfangor's voice.
Take Me Out by neinlives is a delightful piece about the Animorphs grown up and going to college, half crack half sweetness.
The Wheel by L. Emmist is the reason my date once asked me "Why do you have a picture of a yeerk in a condom on your window?" and that's all you need to know about it.
Animorphs: Facebook News Feed Edition by Ember Nickel is exactly what the title suggests; never have I laughed so hard about Tom's death.
Speaking of which, The Tocsin by tptigger is a brilliant speculative story about Tom becoming reluctant host to a member of the Yeerk Peace Movement, and thus an even more reluctant Auxiliary Animorph.
I know I'm forgetting a bunch — I'm terrible at remembering to bookmark — so other people please weigh in with recs!
#I went to high school in a Korean neighborhood and had a bunch of Korean friends#i can still order off menus in hangul but that's about it#but I'm overfamiliar with Korean interpersonal culture and have no knowledge of Korean pop culture#hell I went to a Korean church rummage sale on saturday and I was annyeonging and gamsahabnidaling like I never left#but Kpop#that's all on you guys#animorphs fanfic#animorphs fanfiction recs#fanfic recs#qoheleth annoys me because he's too talented to cancel but if I ever meet him I hope I give him a big Catholic aneurysm#catholicism almost drove my dad to suicide and my catholic boy scout troop did the same#I got nothing against the faith but my experiences have left me uncharitable towards the tradcathy sort#interestingly Sacred Host implies the Skrit Na are SYNCRETIST CHRISTIANS and they reproduce all the 3rd century heresies#this is portrayed as an obvious source of confusion and horror rather than 'so it's a fiftieth the size of the talmud'#I call him a coward but I can't deny he captured why an alien would PREFER Catholicism over the other options#stabat bajir dolorosa#ave kandrona#I can't critique him until I write a tenth of what he's written#motherfucker made Reepicheep and Caspian discussing the spherical nature of the earth into an entertaining and gripping read#guy's a master#hey I mean Wagner thinks I'm going to hell too#ironic that we can separate the art from the artist better for him than for say Al Capp or JKR because he's usually too smart to suck#but when he sucks he sucks as only a very smart person can suck#which is very very fun to read
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The reason I keep banging the Jiang Fengmian drum so hard is not that he did nothing wrong--he's definitely in contention for best parenting in this book but that bar is in the ground--but because most of the takes I see about him are so extremely bad.
If you want to slag him off for trying to make choices that would hurt no one, and winding up properly protecting no one as a result, that's valid! That's an interesting and text-based critique, which opens into his parallels with Lan Xichen!
If you want to blame him for being weirdly over-invested in Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng being bffs, that's fair, that definitely contributed to the weirdness between them. If you want to say he was a poor communicator, that he fundamentally misunderstood his son, that he failed to be emotionally available in a way his kids could get much use out of, even that he should have figured out a way to stop Yu Ziyuan from creating such a hostile environment, all of that is fair game!
If you want to tackle how the worst thing he did to his kids was die I am so interested in how Wei Wuxian went on to abandon A-Yuan by going to his death, and how that might be tied to how his primary adult role model tied him to a boat and went off to a fight he knew he was going to lose.
After his parents had already left him like that once before, presumably less intentionally.
But no, instead I keep seeing that Jiang Fengmian didn't care. That he never expressed affection. That he actively participated in Yu Ziyuan's fucky game of forcing proxy conflict onto the boys instead of constantly trying (and failing) to shut it down, or that he ignored her bad behavior because it didn't affect him, or that he fought with her constantly, or that he was too much of an unmanly coward to stand up to her when she wanted something.
All of which are directly in contradiction to every scene he's in, and several of which manage to invert or erase the actual conflicts between him and his wife that were the source of all that tension.
And which are really interesting, because some of the most intractable elements are ideological--Yu Ziyuan is fundamentally a conservative and Jiang Fengmian seems to want to be an egalitarian, which ofc matched poorly with his hereditary authority as patriarch of a large sect.
The fact that the bit where we get to actually see him failing to parent Jiang Cheng consists of him gently and firmly trying to correct Jiang Cheng's ethics when what was actually needed in that moment was reassurance for the well-founded insecurities that were causing him to be a little bitch, only for Yu Ziyuan to charge in and make everything fifty times worse, is so much more interesting than literally any version of this family dynamic I have seen in fic. It's to the point I'm relieved when writers kill Jiang Fengmian off, because it means they probably won't feel the need to character-assassinate him too badly.
The number of people I've seen come right out and say some variation of 'men can't be abused' is killing me here. No, Yu Ziyuan wanting to hurt her husband does not constitute sufficient proof that he abused her first and deserved it! That's not how anything works!
#hoc est meum#a lot of this is people projecting cliches and daddy issues and gender shit onto cql#where jfm's characterization mostly didn't make the jump#but still it's like#wtf man#why are we taking yu ziyuan's word about fault at face value#when the fact that she talks a lot of bullshit is so firmly established?#you don't have to Let Him Off his own mistakes for the challenge factor of being married to an abuser if you don't want#but can we stop victim-blaming the guy for ten minutes???#mdzs#meta#jiang fengmian#spousal abuse#characterization#sometimes fanon is Worse#a very annoying part of this is it means really good jiang cheng pov that gets into his issues is super thin on the ground#because no one wants to wrestle with the complex layers of how he felt like his dad didn't love him#or at least not the way he needed to be loved#how he's sort of aware he's bringing his mother's interpretation to things#and that she wasn't entirely right BUT#how he has this deep dreadful certainty that in the most fundamental way she was entirely correct: that jiang cheng was just like her#selfish and violent and unable to manage his own emotions at all#and therefore didn't deserve to be loved#which yu ziyuan so clearly and tragically believed about herself and thus made true
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"OK so here's my idea it's like Cinderella with a twist except it takes place in modern times and actually Prince Charming is an annoying jerk trust fund kid and the fairy god mother is an evil manager for social media stars and in the end Cinderella doesn't need a prince and-"
STOP IT! STOP! "Retelling of a fairy tale with an unexpected modern twist"? How about I unexpectedly twist your head off. Oh my god. If you're going to use fairytales as inspiration at the very least make sure you don't hold fairytale staples like whimsy and romance and magic in utter contempt. I am loathe to this entire trope.
Everyone who tries to put a subversive "twist" on a classic fairytale is a pompous and wretched hack. Every single one of those maligning frauds thinks themselves ground breaking and original, an originality that they express by retelling a story hundreds of years old with a style of subversion that's also old fucking news and barely even understands what it's critiquing in the first place.
"What if Alice in Wonderland was a demented serial killer in a mental hospital?". Stop it. Shut the fuck up. What if I was a demented serial killer and you were in immediate danger right now? From me? I'll slaughter you where you stand, coward.
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Shiftok Is Back At It Again
Im preety sure we all saw the post made by @lizzy4president critiquing shiftok.
Spoiler alert they know of it know.
Thats her Tumblr username :
These individuals often jump to negative assumptions, which makes them no different from antis. They don't consider that your actions may not stem from malicious intent.
I've never encountered a shiftoker who could argue against race changing and age changing on a fundamental level without resorting to a triple-layered sandwich of Ad Hominem, Straw Man, and Hasty Generalization fallacies.
I saw in one of the comments that aging yourself down is bad because "you conciousness is that of your CR".
Be fucking for Real thats not true and i know for a fact that person hasnt even shifted ONCE.
Girlie you are already being messy for whining about it on ShiftTok.
I am not going to let cowards like you get away with this,if you wanna be messy make sure you are messy all the way through.
@lizzy4president Girl they got your ass they boutta bring the spikes and torches and pull up at your house.
I cannot find her it seems that she blocked me perhaps. Typical Cowards who wont say it to you fact but will say it infront of their other cult members.
#reality shifting#shiftblr#desired reality#shifting#shifting community#shifters#shifting realities#reality shift#reality shifter#shifting antis dni
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Analyzing Anya & Xander's Duet
Aside from the general sadness of the episode, one of the sad things about "Once More With Feeling" is Anya and Xander's "I'll Never Tell" song. First, let's start with the most obvious. When Xander sings about Anya in this song, almost all his lines about her positives have to do with her body/looks and being in her "tight embrace" (we all know what he was really talking about). In fact, if you go through the lyrics of the song, the only time he compliments her personality is when he calls her a charmer and says she's sweller. But if we look at all the things he sang previously, is it charmer for her personality or because of what she does for him? (satisfy his sexual urges). On the opposite end of this, he has many criticisms of her personality within the song, "She clings. She's needy. She's also really greedy." Furthermore, if you want to take his insecurity lines into account, you can see that while, yes, he's insecure, which is fair, anyone can be insecure, they're also implying that he believes she's only with him for monetary purposes, and views him as disposable DESPITE her clear dedication to him (and willingness to live in his parents' basement). Don't even get me started on the "Am I marrying a demon" line. While I can understand that fear, on account she was a demon for a thousand or so years, it completely ignores all the human growth she had and character arc she went through.
Now let's start on Anya's verses. While yes, she does criticize him a bit, almost all her lines have to do with one of two things. A) the way he treats her. OR. B) insecurities centered solely on her. She doesn't compliment him much in this song, but she doesn't disparage who he is as person much either, and when she does it's either things all couples complain about like, "he snores" and most fair of all "his penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe," or things that critique his behavior in their relationship, "I talk. He breezes." and "Say housework and he freezes." Now I will acknowledge one line she said "His eyes are really beady." Yes this is a diss against his appearance, but this also comes with her interrupting a long verse of him just disparaging her personality and she was like just trying to stop that train by changing the track. It should also be noted that this verse against her personality came directly after she called out his habit of hiding behind buffy when things get rough, so he is clearly lashing out having not liked the feeling of feeling emasculated. Another note is that all but one of her complimentary lines toward him have to do with his personality. "He's swell," and "My knight in shining armor."
From her lines in the song we can see how insecure he makes her, because ultimately we have to remember this is a song about their relationship. "Will I look good when I've gotten old," "when I get so worn and wrinkly. That I look like David Brinkley," "I've read this tale. There's wedding. Then betrayal," and most importantly "Like it's all just temporary."
Lastly, just a quick assessment on their perception of their relationship that comes in near the end of the song. Xander sings, "Am I crazy?" whereas Anya sings, "Am I dreaming?" She views this as a dream, something not possible but somehow is, whereas he views it as something crazy, a word with negative connotations, that what he's doing could be done by someone not in their right mind.
My summation? While this song is upbeat and peppy, it actually was telling us exactly how their love story would end, as well as who would be the one to run. Xander, as much as he's central to the scoobies, was and always will be a sexist coward. He never loved Anya, he only love what she could do for him, and she was also the only one interested in him.
Anya wasn't perfect, but she 100x deserved better.
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my observations and take on some nuances not conveyed in translation
to cope while waiting for Tuesday, I've been rewatching Ai Di scenes and noticed some things! this is my drawn out summary
*Disclaimer: I'm not critiquing existing translations, I think the translators have done a phenomenal job! Just wanted to add my 2 cents worth.
Part 2
Language Use in Kiseki
Ep 2
Here I realised, Chen Yi was the one who first said these lines to Ai Di, before Ai Di repeated them to Chen Yi in Ep 12. And the wording is exactly the same...sighs...these two
Ep 3
I died. After Chen YI delivered his line "我不找你,你就不会跟喔" - "Like as if you wouldn't have tagged along if I didn't find you", Ai Di actually mouthed "我就不会跟" - "I wouldn't have come". Given his facial expressions mocking Chen Yi's brooding face, I think he was being snarky and just parroting Chen Yi 😭
Chen Dong Yang asked them "当回总堂是回娘家" - basically asking them if they take HQ to be their maiden home. 回娘家 doesn't really have any deep meaning (except returning to your maiden home), but chinese/taiwanese dramas usually have female characters use this term when they are being bullied by their husband's family...make of it what you will...
Furthermore, before this he asked them to "叫老爸" (call me dad) when they called him 老大 (boss) and he kept making excuses for them in front of Zhou Ming Lei.
CDY really sees himself as their papa...
Ai Di calls Chen Yi "竖子". Coward fits the context but more directly, it is a derogatory way of calling someone a brat. Chen Yi gets upset because a punk younger than himself is being rude, and I think he got Ai Di's hidden barb - a reminder that Chen Yi is but a kid, especially in CDY's eyes, and how CDY will never see him as a man.
Ai Di makes a double entendre. He says "他会变老,你会长大。长大。" - "He'll grow old, you'll grow up. Grow big." 长大 in mandarin usually means growing up but can also mean /ahem/ growing big. To let Chen Yi know he's thinking dirty, Ai Di purposely looks down in the vicinity of Chen Yi's crotch and smirks.
Ai Di continues provoking Chen Yi, calling him 大哥哥 mockingly. Big bro is a correct translation but doesn't convey Ai Di's feelings. Here he's ironically calling Chen Yi the mandarin equivalent of onii-chan.
Our boy is a big ball of hurt and only knows how to express it through antagonising Chen Yi 🥲
Ep 4
Sighs. I really believe Zong Yi has a profound impact on Ai Di. Zong Yi is the one who told Ai Di that birthdays should be shared with people you like, and Ai Di took it to heart! He repeated this to Chen Yi in Ep 12.
Chen Yi I love you but I wanna smack you. Here he is speaking to CDY and in reference to their birthday, he uses "我的" (my), before adding on "还有艾迪" (and also Ai Di's), instead of using “我们的" (ours). Boy here really wants to be special in papa's eyes...
The translation is correct but the emphasis is lost. 那么 - so much. Ze Rui is asking Ai Di why he likes Chen Yi so much. Ai Di's dejection must have been so palpable Ze Rui felt he had to ask Ai Di just why Chen Yi was so good that Ai Di has to subject himself to so much pain.
Time for some Chen Yi redemption. Ai Di explains why. Again, translations are okay but nuances are lost. Chen Yi is the one who found Ai Di when he was so ill he was on the brink of death. Chen Yi is the one who cares for him the most (alt. gets in his business the most), the one who scolds him the most. And Chen Yi is also the one who looks after him the most.
替他 - substitute for him. Chen Yi really is Ai Di's everything so much so that he is willing to die on behalf of Chen Yi. There is a fine nuance between dying for (为他去死) vs dying on behalf (替他去死). I can't put it into words well but to me, I would say the former means there is an intentionality in following your fate, while the latter means there is an active choice in exchanging your fate for someone else's.
this post is getting too long, continued in Part 2
#kiseki: dear to me#chen ai#chen yi x ai di#ai di x chen yi#ai di#ramblings#they are making me feral
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WIP: Fictional Flame
You've Got Mail meets Beauty Shop when Paige Dela Cruz, a hairstylist aspiring to open the first Filipino-owned hair salon in the heart of little Winnipeg, falls head over heels for Christian Sato, or so she thought.
Paige Dela Cruz is a hairstylist who falls head over heels for the charming and sexy Christian Sato, or so she thought. She's actually talking to Eddy Silva, Christian's cousin.
While Paige and Eddy's messages become more intimate with each passing text, Eddy finds himself wanting to let go of his facade and show Paige the person he truly is.
As if her love life wasn't complicated enough, Paige faces another threat to her well-being. Her boss, Michael Coward. He takes everything from her - her clients, her tips, and her time. As Paige endures the constant nonsensical wrath of her boss, she begins to doubt if she'll ever be able to open the salon of her dreams.
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I've contemplated whether or not I should post this because the more I think about my WIP, the more embarrassed I get which is so bizarre cause I'm over here trying to make it as a romance author. The self-sabotage and imposter syndrome are really sinking in right now which is exactly why I decided to finally share the details of my WIP.
Why did I write this book?
I was a hairstylist for 5 years and met the most amazing (and awful) people in the industry and I wanted to tell a more dramatized version of what happens in this cut-throat world that is hairstyling.
As a Filipino-Canadian living in little Winnipeg, I also wanted to share glimpses of what it's like being raised by immigrants, the food, and the covert racism I've encountered throughout the years.
Lastly, I just wanted to write my own romance because I love love. I love reading and watching love stories. I've always been a hopeless romantic. After my dad died in 2021, I needed some sort of outlet. I started writing a fantasy about a young girl who also lost her dad but then I reached a point where I couldn’t move on cause fantasy was too big for my brain to fathom lol. So I decided to stick to a genre I knew I could do well, and that was romance.
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I feel incredibly vulnerable right now while I type this because I'm BRACING for the criticism and the eye rolls. Not that anyone has ever done that, it's just the aNxIeTy talking. But again, thank you for following me on this journey to become a traditionally published author (crossing my fingers SO hard) and if you're also a romance author and need a critique partner/beta reader, please DM me so we can do a little swap-aroo (I just lost you there, didn't I?)
Here's the sign-up form if you're interested in beta-reading Fictional Flame: https://docs.google.com/
I'm not sure how to end this so in true Canadian fashion, thank you again and sorry for saying thank you so many times. ❤️
#writing#writeblr#writer community#writers on tumblr#novel writing#writer stuff#romance books#writer mood#author#romance author#romance wip#current wip#my wips#work in progress#romance reader#romance club#romance recs
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