#criticisms. like im just here to have a good time sry

[ratwars]

After years of joking around about how I don't understand how or why bsd took ahold of me like it did and has yet to let go while I am more casual about basically every other series I enjoy I finally figured it out.

It is literally "Guys in Distress" the series

[nefelegies]

sry if you’ve answered this question before but will you ever continue your neocities comic ? :3 I whole heartedly love it ever since I discovered it a year or two ago

no don't worry i haven't! putting a cut because this is an extremely long and non simple answer read at your own peril

the reason the comic went on hiatus to begin with is actually that i was starting to feel really weird about the high school setting??? this may sound stupid but shinji was a character i first created when i was 16 and given that i'm now 21 it was just no longer a type of story i related to much or felt compelled to tell. especially now, almost 2 years into the hiatus, i am almost done with my undergraduate education as well, so it becomes harder and harder for me to bridge the gap in my writing. i also feel like the maturity of certain themes i wanted to write about are ill suited to the setting.

additionally, after taking a few months break from writing during a period of time when i was very very unhappy with all my work, i kind of exploded shinji as a character and changed a fair amount of his personality & character motivations. i felt like the way i used to conceptualize him was kind of juvenile compared to how i wanted him to come off, and i felt like i was not setting myself up to do a good job with his personality. if i was to pick the comic back up as it currently stands, not only would i have to contrive in a time skip to get to where i want (that being the characters in college) which would really mess with my previously established pacing and how the events are meant to build (because if the action is supposed to escalate over a few months, why even include all the buildup from 3 years before? just feels like a false start), but i would also have to mess with the tone and stylization of dialogue and how shinji is portrayed in a way that would, again, make the beginning of the comic pointless (imo) because it wouldn't contribute or relate at all to the meat of the story.

another sticking point i have had in restarting has been a kind of silly one-- i have not lived for any significant period of time in japan, despite visiting the university in sapporo, so i feel like i know woefully little about the life of a university student in japan and what that looks like day to day, which would seriously get in the way of a simply aged-up reboot. to the extent that i wasn't sure what the point of keeping it set in japan would even be. like what am i making a commentary on if i'm writing about a college culture i know nothing about? i feel like i would much rather satirize or criticize the college culture in the united states, since that's where i'm studying. also:: the highschool setting was originally meant as a satire on wish fulfillment slice of life manga (including american wannabe webtoons) that is needlessly set in highschool, but in one of those "satire requires clarity of purpose" type crises, i think i felt like i was moreso parroting tropes than saying anything meaningful about them, and the character of shinji was undeniably created out of 16 year old weebery and the fact that i was studying japanese in school and wanted to practice my kanji on people's names 😭.... so i guess to sum THIS point up, the idea of a continuation or reboot puts me in a weird place with regards to setting, as i don't see the value of me writing about a university experience im not familiar with and don't have much way of ever knowing intimately. even though i could definitely still use the lens of general anime escapism and wish fulfillment when writing about a college student, i just don't really know if it's my place at all to be criticizing this phenomenon as someone who doesn't live in japan if that makes sense. like at that point why am i not just writing about american twitter users with hentai addictions who i have much more close and personal interactions with

finally, and this is not so much a major factor in my thoughts here (somehow) but is worth mentioning: the comic was primarily written during some extremely stressful months-years of my life, and i honestly struggle to get in whatever the hell headspace i was in when i was writing it. like what was going on in my brain. a lot for sure

that being said, i really miss writing osk. having a project like that to work on was really nice! i miss the characters (especially the revamped older versions that no one has actually gotten to experience :( ) and i miss how much it forced me to create. i have not stopped thinking about it at any point since i went on hiatus to be honest and i'm just really stuck on where to go. i cant continue it in its current form (i would be unhappy with it) but i can't think of a good way forward either, and even if i restart it completely (which is POSSIBLE and maybe even the most likely option) i really can't figure out how to tackle the setting.

this is probably not the answer you were expecting i am very sorry it is so long. i just have been stewing on it for a while and really wanted to get it all down in one place

[tidalcreek]

helloooo! here are google drive links (pt1 + pt2) to my 4hr cut of the hobbit trilogy :-) specs n more details under the cut!

runtime is 4hr 9m (including about 4m of credits)

all scenes have open captions in english (either screen recorded from hbo or manually added)!!

i didn’t have access to the extended editions for this but i was able to find some of the extended scenes i wanted on yt (hence the portuguese and turkish subtitles on a few scenes which makes it a little messy with the english caps sry!!)

it’s split in two parts so i could get the quality up to 1080p but the parts are not like. two coherent separate movies its just one big guy

i basically did this for one reason which is that the hobbit movies r incredibly nostalgic to me and i love them but i avoided rewatching them for years because i have adhd and i just could not be fucked to watch 9 hours of cgi when i only cared about half of it. so here’s the half!!

this is heavily informed by the tolkien edit! i have my own criticisms of that cut (which is why i made one lmao) but i absolutely used it as a roadmap of what the story could survive without so credit where credit’s due

but forewarning because i made this specifically for my own use it’s very tailored to Me and my favorite parts of the trilogy! im a tiny bit of a tolkien purist bc i love the book very much and for aforementioned adhd reasons i always want these movies to move SO much faster than they do. but if there’s a scene that seems pointless it’s there just bc i like it and if there's a line that's missing for no reason it's just bc it annoys me :) however i Did try really hard to make this a good movie experience bc i have terminal film major disease!

here are the most significant changes i made if ur curious:

in general this cut follows bilbo/thorin/the company’s pov pretty tightly! it’s the part of the story that i personally care about most and it’s where the most coherent and interesting arcs are in my opinion! 

i could not care less for peter jackson’s cgi action scenes so most of of them are trimmed significantly or sometimes just deleted. this especially applies to the orc chase/fight scenes..i simply cannot sit through the full six minute barrel scene again. the big smaug scenes and botfa battle scenes are also especially cut down

gandalf’s dol guldur plot is completely cut (including radagast, galadriel, etc); ive never liked how the extra lore adds such huge All Of Middle Earth stakes to the hobbit (that's not bilbo’s fight and it never was! he didnt know what he was starting when he started it and neither should we!) so i took the tolkien edit’s line on this one. sorry to galadriel but i know what gandalf was doing during dos i dont need to see it 

crimes against the kiliel community: this is my most dudebro tolkien opinion but i have never loved the tauriel/legolas/kili dynamic and they have SOOO many scenes that i Personally just do not want to watch every time. i love the version of tauriel that lives in my brain but i do not vibe w the movie universe >:-( to that end both tauriel and legolas are almost entirely cut and you ARE allowed to hang me in the town square for this. im sad about it

bilbo's prologue scene is moved closer to the middle of the movie rather than introducing that info immediately in auj. i like having the audience find out about thrain and dale only once the company has seen the lonely mountain for the first time! idk if it reads as well as i think it does so lmk what u think!!

iiiii recut thorin’s funeral scene with hozier’s version of the parting glass. this is simply because ive always thought the funeral music was boring and i wanted to have fun! it’s one of the biggest changes i made to a specific scene so pls tell me if u have thoughts....it's at around 1:50:00 of part 2 if you want to skip

there are about 4 minutes of (incomplete) credits because sitting and listening to the last goodbye after botfa ends is a ritual <3

ummm thats it! if you actually watch any of this and you have thoughts please come talk to me about it!! i want to talk to you specifically!!

[juni-ravenhall]

reactions (mild spoilers!) on sso comic song of darkness

bc i read it before bed. this is a mix of random reactions + commentary/criticism. no pics sry! under cut bc spoilers, but i dont spoil the story itself, just some content -

- the pages at the intro with character information for some reason made me feel really nostalgic and happy, like, “wow this is a real comic” idk its hard to explain. it reminded me of reading stuff like W.I.T.C.H. as a kid (ive read a billion comics in my life but i compare to this bc its closer in general vibe) 

- anyway wow sso comics. on paper. wow (yeah i have clouds over silverglade but that was a while ago)

- hhehehehehhe south hoofers and raptor in the bg!!!!!! after this panel i kept looking at the bgs for other cameos kjhdsfg

- i can tell the swedish translation is... a bit... meh. like, yeah this is standard, especially today’s standard, but it could be smoother and more natural, which would make it more fun to read (and supportive of the language in the country where sso was made like? idk...)

- AVALON?? U HAVE A FACE??? he looks way more like evergray than i’d have thought though, youd have imagined he wouldnt want to style himself similar to him lol

- its a bit depressing how even tho this comic tries to express everyone’s personalities, lisa still barely feels like she has a personality. she can sing! ok... and... we’re wating... what else? (there are plenty of “boring” people irl, but in media you usually want to exaggerrate or simplify things a little bit) the current lisa seems like she could have more anxiety/depression in her narrative, the old lisa looked like she was tough in a different way than alex, both of those are things that could be pushed. or anything else. 

- my only like, “art related criticism”, also relates to the above - i think more work could be done in using individually unique expressions. im generally not a person who agrees with the idea of “same face syndrome” (often its a stylistic choice which is fair) but i think here it could be a good idea to work a bit more with various expressions - you can have charas who would almost never make huge shocked eyes for personality reasons, charas who always have a very obvious expression (alex does have this a lot in this comic!), charas who always look annoyed or frustrated or scared alongside whatever new emotion they get, etc. just very simplified description bc im already rambling. but basically, letting all charas emote in a similar way also removes layers of personality expression. 

- it’s cool that kora is in here!! love to see many known charas!! not rly interested in random new charas since sso already has a ton to work with 

- was a bit surprised when they said “mistfall, so youre a long way from home?” to kora when they.. were riding to firgrove from valedale? i could have understood this if they were in like epona or golden hills.. but firgrove?? shes specifically not a long way from home? confused

- i do like that the horses’ personalities get expressed, altho it does feel a bit shoved in, it’s still nice to see them. many of us are here bc of loving horses after all, and this comic delivers in featuring them a lot, even if they dont talk. i get that theres a level of “explaining everything to newbies” in this whole comic, even though i could wish that wouldve been done less blatantly. (kids arent dumb!) 

- i do kinda wish the overall story hadn’t been a standalone random thing but something more tied to what we have, exploring parts of the story & charas in sso in more detail, BUT, i think thats a valid direction to go with comics and its more just a personal preference for me. i would anytime take more sso comics that are standalone random stuff than to not have sso comics at all. 

- it seems like the reason concorde is an alive adult in this comic, is bc its an AU where concorde “almost died” but didnt, if i understood it right (they just said “she almost lost concorde”). i think thats a bit weird BUT valid, its ok to have differences in canon between different media of the same story, it tends to be like that between books and movies for example. however personally i wouldve preferred to see comics that explore, for example, the 2 years (?) between SSL and SSO, or each soul rider’s life history in general until now, or exploring in more depth events that happen in the main storyline (in sso or ssl which counts as backstory to sso)

- there were times i committed small giggle during this comic even as an adult man, tho arguably a childish adult man, but just to say that it was enjoyable, and overall i thought it was really exciting and fun to read a full sso comic book, and i hope to see a lot more (even if i’d prefer stuff like what i described - more exploration of existing story/charas). like i said at the beginning, i also got good nostalgic feels etc. i feel a bit sad now that its “over”, i wish i could have a whole pile of volumes to read for the rest of the summer. 

(when i criticise something, it means i care enough about it to criticise it! i tend to criticise stuff i love - aka sso - way more than stuff i have no interest in or dislike, which i just dont talk about much bc that would be a waste of time.) 

[artificialqueens]

I Can Feel it Through the Screen, Chapter 1 (Branjie) - Kiyo

A/N: first time writing Branjie so, seeking criticism xD. This is a Lesbian AU. And hopefully I'll have chapter 2 done quick if you like it.

////////

tick...tock...tick...tock

The clock hung on the wall kept ticking, each of them sounding longer than the other whilst Brooke Lynn mindlessly walked around her living room whilst the tv played some late night show presented by another old white dude. Sighing deeply, she finally sat on her couch.

Brooke could already feel herself slowly falling asleep when she sunk into the cushions. The seconds passed by, the TV finally turning off on it's own due to the lack of interaction, finally her apartment was completely silent, nothing but her own breathing could be heard yet she found it hard to relax and fall asleep.

Not that she tried to relax or was able to, Brooke was hyper fixated on everything in the darkly lit room, she couldn't stop herself. The only source of light being the moon shinning through her open window, the curtains floating slightly by the cold breeze entering, sending slight chills down the blonde's spine...

Brooke finally layed down, her head resting on her firm couch pillow, already hurting her neck. Once again, Brooke managed to find something wrong and it stressed her out. "Ugh.." She groaned, sitting up again, her eyes barely able to stay open as she reached for her phone that was promptly set upside down on the glass table placed infront of the couch.

She switched her phone on, slightly blinded by the light coming from it, rubbing her eye's with her free hand before proceeding to unlock it, typing the very original password '100386'.

And too Brooke's expectations, she'd received no texts, which was the only releaving thing she'd seen tonight. Not having to deal with anybody, as of right now was truly a blessing, that was until she opened instagram, seeing '16 DMs' at the top right corner of her screen, sighing, not knowing why she hadn't expected this, clicking on the little paper plane icon, seeing that 6 of those messages where from Yvie. '45 minutes ago', moment's like these, Brooke Lynn realized that muting instagram notifications wasn't exactly the smartest choice.

'Well, great.' Brooke Lynn thought to herself, sighing before beginning to read them.

-

Yvie Oddly: Brooke, do you still have those rings you showed me?

Yvie Oddly: Damn, you must be sleeping.

Yvie Oddly: nevermind about the rings, I found soething

Yvie Oddly: ****something

Yvie Oddly: I suck at typing

Yvie Oddly: Tell Vanessa I'm too busy to come over tomorrow, thanks, sry to bother u lmao

-

Right, Vanessa had planned this little party with a few of her friends, calling it 'Vanjie night', Brooke wasn't invited to it because it was suppose to be just Vanjie and her friends, and apparently the reason Brooke couldn't come was that they didn't want Branjie to be acting all cuddly and lovey dovey if they we're to come over. Brooke found it stupid, really, but she didn't protest, it wasn't that deep anyway, not that she wanted to go to thay stupid hang out party anyway.

-

Brooke Lynn Hytes: Sure, I'll tell her.

-

Brooke replied before throwing her phone at the other side of the couch before realizing she probably needed to text Vanessa now. Great- with a loud huff accompanying the action, Brooke reached for her phone again. Unlocking it and going back on Instagram. Seeing Vanessa was online, thank god, she wouldn't need to wait forever for her to respond.

-

Brooke Lynn Hytes: Hey, Yvie said she'd be too busy to go to your little party.

VANESSA VANJIE MATEO: Oh, aight, she could've just texted me instead of bothering you, sorry boo <3, anyways, how u doing? I didn't get my usual hearts accompanying yo texts, u actin weird blondie

Brooke Lynn Hytes: Sorry, just a little tired, I forgot to put them. 💞💘💖💗

VANESSA VANJIE MATEO: I feel your negativity through my screen, whats up? I know this is not some tired story bullshit

Brooke Lynn Hytes: im just stressed, dont worry about it.

VANESSA VANJIE MATEO: wait... since when do u put ponctuations on ur texts- call me rn

Brooke Lynn Hytes: babe, im tired.

VANESSA VANJIE MATEO: And im worried, call me.

-

Brooke ran her fingers through her hair, sighing, already feeling her stress getting worse as now she needed to call Vanessa, she was well aware that her girlfriend was only worried about her but it still freaked her out, why did she have to be stupid? She could've just put the damn hearts and said nothing more but knowing Vanessa, she would've still known Brooke was out of it, she always knew.

-

Incoming video chat from VANESSA VANJIE MATEO

Brooke answered, looking at the screen with a tired expression, seeing Vanessa laying in bed, most likely the lamp on her bed side table providing the little amount of light shinning on her tanned features. "Hey." Brooke Lynn smiled weakly, standing up to walk next to her window, getting some of the moonshine onto her, trying to be bare visibly.

"Hey, twinkle toes." Vanjie giggled, squinting her eyes to try and see Brooke a little better. "I can barely see you, turn on a light or something."

"The light hurts my eyes, I've been trying to sleep for the past hour." Brooke replied in a slightly annoyed tone.

"Could've said that without the attitude but aight." Vanessa replied jokingly, hearing Brooke sigh. "Oh, you're stressed, stressed." She remarked, pursing her lips together and trying to think quickly of something to say but Brooke Lynn unexpectedly spoke up.

"I don't know, everything is stressing me out right now, even the dumbest things like my pillow's firmness." Brooke explained, earning another look of concern from her partner. "I just wanna sleep but I can't, like, the couch is uncomfortable but I don't want to sleep in my bed for some reason." Brooke didn't know why she felt like this sometimes. There we're moment where there we're strange things she suddenly couldn't do for a certain amount of time or else she'd get stressed.

"You're having one of those stress episodes again? You really need to go to a therapist boo, seriously, thats not normal." Vanessa pointed out but that didn't seem to help Brooke right now. "What if I came by and picked you up so you can sleep over at mines tonight? Would you like that?" She asked and Brooke stayed silent.

"I have mushy pillows, they're so soft, I know you love em." She giggled, getting a little reaction from Brooke, that sweet smile Vanessa loved to see. "Sure, pick me up." Brooke chuckled, walking over to the light switch, turning on the light so Vanessa could finally see her clearly.

"You look so pretty~" Vanessa smiled, sitting up in her bed. "I just wanna kiss you." She said. "You can kiss me later." Brooke replied, getting a knowing glance from her girlfriend, making Brooke laugh. "You need to make thay face again just so I can screenshot it and make it your profile picture in my phone." Brooke cackled, making Vanjie break out into laughter as well.

"When you're here, you can take a picture, it'll be prettier than a screenshot. Anyhow, I'm gonna put some pants on and come pick you up." Vanjie said. "Alright, baby, see you later." Brooke Lynn blew a kiss and winked before hanging up.

-

She felt excited to get away from her apartment, or maybe just excited to see her girlfriend, a mix of both...but that didn't really matter. She was excited.

Brooke power walked to her bathroom, looking at herself through the mirror, she actually looked decently good, maybe a little tired but that was normal after taking five 5 minute long naps.

And quicker than she expected, she heard a ring st her door bell, smiling to herself, Brooke made her way to the front door, unlocking it and opening the door to see Vanessa with a big smile in her face. "Hey bitch~"

"Hi baby." Brooke giggled, hugging the shorter girl tightly, pressing her face against her chest. "I know im short but that's no excuse to shove my face in your tits- not that I mind but still." Vanessa snickered. Looking up at Brooke Lynn who kissed her forehead. "Sorry, I was just happy to see you." Brooke smiled.

"I can tell." Vanessa laughed. "Oh, shut it." Brooke rolled her eyes before letting go of Vanessa, breaking the embrace. "Sure." Vanessa giggled, holding Brooke's hand. "How about i take you home now, malady." Vanessa winked. "You're painfully cringy." Brooke replied monotonely. "And you're a pain in the ass, let's go."

"I might be but you still love me." Brooke smiled smugly. "Of course, I love you, dumbass." Vanessa said. "Kiss me and then we can go." Brooke chuckled, receiving a quick peck on the lips from Vanjie. "Hey~ I said kiss, no lt peck." Brooke Lynn whined. "Fine."

Vanessa sighed, cupping Brooke Lynn's face and kissing her softly, feeling Brooke's hands go to her waist, pulling her closer but  Vanjie broke the kiss. "Not that kissing on your door step bothers me but I'd rather do that in a comfy bed." Vanessa giggled. "Right." Brooke chuckled. "Let's go."

[werecat]

Helllooo i tried utena bc Lesbian n watched the first 6 ep but i utterly fail to see the appeal ? Ok the girls are cute but the story is so random, the animation is horrible, the characters are so stupid i cant understand their actions 90% of time, the plot is. Where is it. everything. I loose my shit each time utena goes to fight with this awful 3mn choir song. Its so long and meaningless. Is it like that all the time ? Im sry i want to like it but why ppl say its good ?? Am i missing smth ??

OMG anon... wow is this a lot to unpack. Ok, let me preface by saying: @ all my followers and anyone else who sees this, pleeease for the love of all that is holy do not watch utena just for the gay factor. I get why it’s a selling point, of course, I also got into it primarily for that, but—ok, let me spell it out rl quick—

utena is not:

a straightforward romance story

a cute, fun yuri

a series made for mass appeal

utena is:

a very intricate, complex narrative that requires some mental effort from the viewer to put the pieces together

a series that, while genius, touches on a lot of very sensitive and potentially triggering topics that everyone should know about before going into it

(Full triggers guide here, including a great synopsis for first-timers.)

Now let me just say that I’m also pretty early on in the series, so all of this is going off what I’ve heard from my mutuals, who I trust wholeheartedly:

Most of your criticisms seem to come down to the fact that you were misled as to what kind of story this is—there’s waaay more to it than utena and anthy’s relationship. I got into it after reading my mutuals’ analyses of and commentary on the themes it explores; I have a feeling you were just told there’s lesbians in it, which is a terrible mistake. Anyway, the most important things you need to know are 1) the real plot only kicks in at a certain episode later down the line (mutuals please chime in with the exact number, I can’t recall it), 2) the story is structured in a way that you need to watch the whole thing (preferably twice) to like, Get It. A feature, not a bug! I believe that should explain away the “random story” and “stupid/inexplicable characters,” as well as the narrative being “long and meaningless,” which—I get that that’s subjective, but it’s really the polar opposite of meaningless, I swear!

I won’t rag on you for not enjoying the animation, though I think it’s lovely, but that song is an absolute BANGER, anon, I’m offended (only half joking).

TLDR: yes, you are “missing something” in the sense that you came into this with the wrong expectations (understandable, it is not a typical shoujo). It’s not something to watch casually, but I do believe you will probably find the payoff well worth your time.

(Of course, it’s not for everyone, so maybe you just won’t like it, which is fine! But I hope this clarified some things for you.)

[feminisedlad]

as a trans man those posts do fucking bother me and it kinda sucks that like. idk. even our own community seems to hate us and you cant really speak up about it without someone calling you oversensitive or saying youre being oppressive. like to be a "good" transmasc you have to just smile and nod when other lgbt people are saying youre Inherently Awful lest you be a Horrible Oppressive Man

it is a REALLY thin tightrope to walk bc of course i know trans men who act exactly like cis men, of course i know trans men who talk over trans women bc like. it happens all the time and its super fucking shitty of them! so i dont want to make it sound like “the evil trans women are picking on the softboi trans men” bc thats reductive and mean

at the same time tho some ppl genuinely hate trans men MORE than cis men and im sry but thats JUST transphobia. like thats it. i think the common reasons for this are:

some ppl think trans men ‘chose to be oppressors’ (this is usually cis ppl in my experience)

some ppl think trans men were hotter before transitioning

some trans ppl are shitty to each other bc they dont understand why someone would give up s/t that they really really want. i had a friend tell me that for a while she hated me because my pre-transition self was actually her transition goals.... which i applaud her honesty but it also gutted me to hear. i think that sort of thing can happen on both sides (ive seen trans dudes say this to trans women too and like. dont do that). 

i think some cis women see trans men and get disgusted bc of internalized shit. like most of the mean comments ive gotten about my transition were from cis woman friends who felt the need to tell me my body hair was gross or w/e.

some ppl think testosterone is evil / gives you roid rage (ive seen trans women say that this belief hurts some of them, too. like if you believe one hormone is The Evil Hormone, what does that say to trans women who arent on HRT? this is a point i wouldnt have considered but i want to highlight it here)

so obviously i dont think theres a conspiracy against trans men lol, i think its just complicated and ppl can hold these beliefs without realizing they hold them. it still sucks tho and if you notice any of these thought patterns within yourself, you should try to be critical about them.

[new-endings]

Do you have any advice for a first time writer? I’ve never made a fic before but I plan on writing one when I have the time. I know you’re a great writer so I thought I’d ask! Thanks and have a good day :)

Hi and of course, I’d be happy to help! Also /)///(\  (❁´◡`❁) I’m so very honored that you like my writing 💕 

I don’t think there’s really a wrong way to write (grammar and spelling aside), but here are some of my beliefs and my own advice! 

I think when it comes down to writing, especially for fanfiction, it’s important to remember that it’s a labor of love and you should write what you love and enjoy! If you’re not having fun while doing it and aren’t writing what you want, then why do it? 

You took the time and energy to create something that’s uniquely yours. It doesn’t matter if it’s any other AU that is considered “popular” among your fandom, this take is uniquely your own. And take pride in your work!

that’s not to say steal from other writers that’s plagiarism and i trust you know already not to do that but because this is the internet, i feel like this caveat has to be made

Also, I do encourage you to tag properly. In many fandoms, there are just too many fics to go through and tagging really helps the reader in finding your work! It also prevents people who may not be into the type of work you’re making from reading it and causing issues down the line.   

So have fun, and again I’m so glad to hear that you want to write! There’s never too many ideas, never too many stories c: Once it’s done, please link me! I’d be more than happy to read~

this is rly long im sry but here’s more

aight here’s some things that I do that personally helps me when I’m writing:

0. FEEL FREE TO DISREGARD ANY OF THE BELOW. Honestly, the way I write may not jive with you and that’s totally fine. This is just what I do. You’ll find your own rhythm or discover it along the way, but these are just some suggestions. 

1. Free write. 

-It sounds like you’re busy and might not have time throughout the day to just sit down and write for hours on end and if this is the case, sometimes just putting something down on paper/typing it up is small progress that gradually builds. It’s okay if it looks disjointed or a bit wonky at first-- you can smooth things over later. 

2. conversely, Write your rough drafts as a story skeleton. I’m a particular sorta creature, so if you have the time, I can recommend

It kinda looks like a play. Example: dead dove do not eat btw 

-C locks the door- 

C  "What are you going to tell the police, angel? That a billionaire is obsessively in love with you, a Soho bookseller, “ -A flinches as C approaches closer- “And kidnapped you all the way to his country villa and forged a completely new life for you?" 

-commotion outside from the storm-

A, pouting as he’s backing up against the wall "...well, you don't have to put it that way."

it can read fine just the way I wrote it lol but the point is-- having the scene already laid out in front of you helps with building the rest of the story and makes filling in details a lot smoother.

I also recommend using this method if you’d like your dialogue to run smoother.

3. Read things out loud. 

-It really helps. especially with dialogue. Think “is this something C/A/an actual human being would say in this manner?” it also helps with sentence structures. If you can read your paragraphs out loud without getting lost or winded, then the reader can too. 

4. Don’t make chunky paragraphs. 

-I need to take this advice lol Our eyes get tired as we read big blocks of letters strung together. Make them digestible. If you’re enjoying the spacing and it looks good to your eyes, chances are, they’re good for the reader too. 

5. Don’t apologize for being a first-time fic writer or antagonize your own writing especially in the summary.

-I see this a lot where the writer says “sorry if summary sucks” or “Sorry, first time writing!” and I think it sends a bad message to the reader. It tells the reader that you’re not confident in your writing skills. If you’re not confident, then the reader isn’t confident in your abilities. 

6. Don’t be afraid to share it! 

-Tumblr, ao3, Wattpad, you name it. Be proud of your work! I can honestly say that I love my own writing and that’s the primary drive to why I write in the first place-- I have an idea that no one else is gonna write for me (because I can’t afford commissions no siree), so if what I got is what I got, then I’m gonna make it good for myself. 

And I’m my own worst critic. If I like it, then I think it’s def gonna be good enough to share with other people so we can enjoy the same thing! 

7. It’s not worth getting upset over feedback.

-Whether it’s getting criticism or if there aren’t a lot of notes, comments, or kudos, it’s okay. Every writer has been there. 

-For negative feedback, remember that unless this person is harassing you or just putting down the fic without anything constructive at all, delete it and move on with your day. If they had no ill intent behind it, it may be worth considering their comment, but in the end, the choice is yours. 

-If there’s not enough feedback, then remind yourself of the reason why you made this fic: was it to gain traction as a writer? To polish your writing skills that you will eventually use to make your own original works or make more fics? If so, then go back to step 6. Promote it, share it, tell your friends and followers about it and there’s absolutely no shame in that. 

-And if you wrote primarily for the fun of it, because this was an idea in your head that you wanted to see, then that’s okay. You made a work you’re proud of and if you’re happy with that work, then don’t let this be a numbers game that will make you sad or upset. Your work is good enough when you’re happy with it; you only need to please yourself for it to have been a success.

Hope this helps~  

[nightfayre]

hi im the anon ! i dont remember what i said >

and I’m alarmed by the fandom mentality. Maybe HT means good - but how would we know? we don’t have access to his thoughts - but we must judge his actions, and his actions are for the least very troubling. It’s always abt coercing Mo and not respecting his boundaries. I see the trope “when she says no, she means yes” here and once again, the fact the fandom swallows it uncritically (bc HT is a poor, hot tortured boy) is alarming. Forcing Mo to wear his gift stinks of “this is my possession, don’t mess wt him” 2/5

Maybe im pessimistic n its actually to protect him by distance, but once again he totally disregards Mo’s will. What if he doesnt want to be protected ? what if he doesnt want to be an object to be pass around between self-entitled psychos ? The first step to protect and help someone is by listening to them. I hope Mo will react strongly and will tell HT that by saying this, he’s no different from She Li. And i hope that would provoke HT to self-reflect a lot - smth he lacks tremendously. 3/5

That being said i love HT and tianshan! And what i love is how realistic and flawed they are. Theyre both hyper violent, distrustful, and severly lacking in communication skills. Im thrilled to see how theyre going to evolve -for the better or the worse, both is good for me. But i’m very disappointed by the fandom reaction like “ooh how cute hes possessive it means love!” or “actually its not bad doing HT doing that bc his intentions are good”. 4/5

And I will be vry, vry disappointed if OX decides to follow this trend and to not show how this kind of actions is detrimental to their reliationship and use the tired and dangerous trope of “being violent means that you care”. I trust them to be more nuanced than that bc until now they are great at drawing grey relationship. So yea i hope next chapter, tianshan plunges (before being better). Anw sry for the rant, and plz continue the good work !! 5/5

phew. there’s a lot to unpack here – but I agree wholeheartedly with you. since this post is already kinda long, I will put my answer/explanation under the cut!

the parts that I bolded in your asks are what I intend to focus on in this answer. strap in, because this is going to be a long one. 

before anything, let me put a disclaimer: I love He Tian. I love Guan Shan. I love Old Xian. I love tianshan, and I love where they are headed in the manhua. does that mean I also love where tianshan are right now? no, it doesn’t. and I’m here to explain why I look forward to their potential rather than their current relationship’s dynamics.  

one of the hardest parts about being in a fandom is being able to separate fiction, reality, and morality. this is especially hard when a fandom is as old and endearing as 19 Days, and when you fall in love with & are rooting for all the characters. furthermore, 19 Days is not a tragedy. of course, when Jian Yi disappears, it will be tragic. but otherwise the majority of the manhua is a comical, romantic slice-of-life plot. as such, it’s easier for what would usually be seen as blaring issues/problems in tragedies to be disregarded for comedy or, in some cases, romance in a comedic, romantic slice-of-life. 

this is exactly the case with tianshan. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: He Tian’s current relationship with Guan Shan is not healthy. he doesn’t listen to Guan Shan. he doesn’t respect his personal space. he doesn’t know where to draw the line. he doesn’t know how to properly communicate with him, and thus resorts to violence or threats. tianshan just have a problem with communication. and, sure, maybe it can be chalked up to the fact that they’re young and stressed and don’t know any better. but that excuse is almost as bad as the “boys will be boys” excuse, and that doesn’t make it any better nor does it justify their actions. 

He Tian’s idea of relationships is so twisted, and as I talked about in a previous answer, it can probably be stemmed back to his trauma with the puppy Cheng took away from him. I won’t get too deep into that since I explained it in detail in that answer, but keep this in mind nonetheless: He Tian grew up in a family of violence, distance, miscommunication, and lies. it’s all he’s ever known, and that’s what he’s applying to his relationship with Guan Shan. does that make it right? no, absolutely not. but he’s learning. 

when Guan Shan had a panic attack at the restaurant, He Tian learned that people aren’t robots/pawns to use at his disposal and rather have their own strong emotions/backgrounds that shape them. thus, he brought Guan Shan home without a word. when he had his night terror and woke up to Guan Shan holding his hands, He Tian realized that there are parts of Guan Shan he still doesn’t know and, potentially, an aspect of their relationship that they’ve only started to uncover. thus, he thanked him without preamble and with a bowed head. 

what I’m trying to say is that He Tian does have good intentions at times, but not always. he’s learning as he goes, because god knows he didn’t have a family to teach him how healthy relationships should be. there probably is a part of He Tian that only wants to protect Guan Shan against She Li, but he certainly doesn’t show it in the right way. he acts possessive because he knows that if he doesn’t, he’ll lose what he loves (*insert flashback to the puppy*). again, does that make it right? hell no. jealousy and possessiveness are not cute and are entirely unhealthy in a relationship. the fandom should view them as such, but should also keep an open mind when considering He Tian’s background. 

and honestly, the reason why I’m focusing so much on He Tian right now rather than Guan Shan is because if it were up to Guan Shan, he would’ve dropped He Tian within the first few days (maybe even hours) of meeting him. but because of He Tian’s persistence, Guan Shan has no choice but to be involved with him and retaliate when He Tian verbally/physically/emotionally attacks him. nonetheless, Guan Shan has tried to walk away from He Tian on multiple occasions when He Tian’s teasing became too much, and on those occasions, He Tian has given in. (ex. I can’t find the exact chapter, but there is a chapter in which Guan Shan refuses to use He Tian’s fork to eat He Tian’s leftovers, and he gets up and says, “I’m going home,” to which He Tian replies, “Fine, fine, I’ll buy you new food.”)

so yes – tianshan certainly have flaws. He Tian holds too much power, and Guan Shan can’t catch a break. the fandom romanticizes their interactions, but if you take a moment to think realistically and recognize that character flaws are essentially bad but also critical for character development, then there is an even balance in the readers’ relationship with the manhua. don’t support He Tian’s violent interactions with Guan Shan and claim “omg He Tian loves Guan Shan sooooo much when he forces Guan Shan to do XYZ,” but rather support the fact that he hasn’t physically manhandled/harmed Guan Shan in many chapters. support and celebrate He Tian’s development, not his flaws. 

and as for what you said about Guan Shan telling He Tian that he’s “no better than She Li”? while I don’t think He Tian is truly as bad as She Li, I actually think that would be a painful, great, and pivotal moment in their relationship. after all, the most consequential scene in tianshan’s relationship thus far has been the kiss. at that moment, Guan Shan had told He Tian outright that he disgusted him and to leave him alone. since then, I don’t think He Tian has ever looked so… taken aback. unsettled. 

and guess what? their relationship has only gotten better since then, and He Tian hasn’t touched him like that again. 

I don’t know, anon. it’s a tough call. I think tianshan have a lot more chapters ahead of them, and I don’t think Old Xian will allow them to end on bad terms. actually, I don’t think Old Xian will allow them to end on the terms that they’re on right now. they can only improve from here on out, but how Old Xian will go about showing that improvement is unknown to us. there are many paths this story can take, but rather than worrying about what might happen, let’s focus on the here and now. let’s focus on the problems at hand, and let’s focus on the development the characters are undergoing. 

don’t ignore the wrongness/cruelty of characters’ actions, but don’t romanticize them either. if you do, you’re only doing a disservice to the character’s personality, existence, and the author’s intentions.

(and as for this newest chapter specifically: I see why people can get excited about He Tian telling Guan Shan to wear the earrings. He Tian wants to verify to both himself and She Li that Guan Shan is with him now. that Guan Shan is no longer under She Li’s control. who doesn’t love a little verification of their OTP’s relationship, especially when it involves an enemy?

but at the same time, it’s unhealthy. Guan Shan doesn’t have a say. he’s being handed around like an object. I don’t think this is pessimistic thinking; I think it’s the truth that no one wants to acknowledge/hear. but I’m not saying that tianshan is wrong in this chapter; I’m saying that He Tian has good intentions, but he’s not showing them correctly. and there will be a chapter in which he does show them correctly, but we must travel this rocky road before we get to that point. patience is key, and I cannot wait until He Tian and Guan Shan reach that moment of clarity. you can’t have light without the dark.)

[littlestmedic]

Imperfection

Hello friends! Frankie here. Another Diego oneshot, this time for @seducemeotome-trash as a request. I was super busy last week, so I only managed it to finish it tonight, a week after your request. Sorry friend!

They requested something with MC being unhappy with her image, and I, being someone who also suffers from that particular dislike of oneself, was more than happy to oblige.

Words: 1171 Rating: T (mild sexual themes) Pairing: MC/Diego Escalona

Where [MC] denotes My Character. Or your character! :D

[MC] looked at the mirror, and sighed dejectedly. There was nothing good about what she saw, nothing that made her the littlest bit proud of how she looked. She pressed her tits together and tried to make them look a bit more interesting, before pursing her lips and scowling.

So much for that.

What was it that Diego loved about the way she looked, she wondered? When she gazed upon her half-naked form in the long, floor-to-ceiling mirror, what she saw was distinctly average. Average size breasts, on a body that didn’t so much have curves as it had suggestions of curves. Her ribs, too wide for her to have any sort of a figure, and her hair, lank and boring and brown. She’d tried to pull it back, curl it, style it, do something with it, but it was all just the same.

Same, boring, and drab.

[MC] scowled again, eyeing the stretch marks on her thighs. She wasn’t overweight, but she certainly wasn’t stick thin, and her junk food diet did no wonders when it came to sticking to that constant New Years Resolution of lose at least THREE (3) pounds. She poked out and wobbled in all the wrong places, and it was difficult to love yourself when the world hated people for looking like you did.

That thought hurt. Tears stung her eyes and she pressed them away impatiently. What a stupid thing to do—stare at yourself in the mirror, parading around in your underwear and then start crying because of it. God, she was pathetic.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

How had she not seen him sneak up on her?! It can’t have been the mirror thing, that was a myth…

Diego wrapped his arms around [MC], kissing her on her pale shoulder and looking at her in the mirror. Her face was red and blotchy from her hands, desperately trying to rub away the evidence of her tears.

“It’s… It’s fine. It’s nothing. Just… Stupid thoughts.” She realised she wouldn’t be convincing anyone with that, let alone Diego. He raised an eyebrow at her, pressing another chaste, feathering kiss on her neck.

“Stupid thoughts that are enough to make you cry. Is there anything I can do to help?”

That was something she loved about him. He knew when she needed to sort something out herself, and knew that not every problem was something he could solve. No doubt, he wanted to solve everything—but she was capable, she’d proven that to herself, and him, enough times as it was. Still, he wanted to know, and she didn’t want his arms around her to leave. She swallowed the lump in her throat.

“I look gross.”

Voicing it made the tears prick her eyes again. She sniffled, slightly pathetically.

Diego was silent, the only hint that he’d heard what she’d said being the slight tightening of his arms around her waist and the slightly longer kiss he planted to her shoulder.

[MC] continued, before he had an opportunity to argue. She pulled at her lank hair, frowning in disgust. “Look at it. It’s so—so boring. Uninspired. Yours, your hair looks gorgeous even when you’ve just woken up. I can do everything, and still look like I fell into a bush.”

He kissed at her hand where she held her hair, nuzzling softly. “You can’t see it like I can,” Diego mused quietly in her ear, “It is as soft as silk and shines radiantly in the sun. I see a thousand different colours when you run through the sunlight, and when you sleep, it forms a halo not even angels could challenge.”

“Okay, but what about… What about this….”

[MC] pointed in exasperation to her blotchy, blemished skin, and he hummed in contemplation, ghosting his hands over her ribs and stomach.

“And yet it is smooth, and even…” He turned her to the side, moving around to face her as he got on his knees before her, “And a delight to kiss.”

[MC] flushed at the sight of him before her, looking determinedly away from him as he looked at her. The love and passion in that gaze made something in her navel twist, the familiar hook that never failed to appear when the soft and gentle voice he used to reassure her made an appearance.

“My… Stretch marks, too, on my thighs…”

“I liken them to tiger stripes.” She felt his lips touch the marks on the outer part of her thighs, kissing along the red-purple streaks. The skin there, too, was blotchy and pale and red-spotted and yet when he kissed it, it felt like she was a goddess, and he was worshipping her. Her cheeks flared, and she looked down at him. His eyes met hers. There was fire in them, that all-consuming heat that never failed to make her swoon. His wet his lips, continuing as he spoke, his lips tracing each of her marks. “You think a tigress would be as beautiful without her stripes?” He asked rhetorically, for she had momentarily lost her voice, too lost in the feel of his lips threading slowly inwards.

She stroked his hair, and shook her head. “No. I guess not.”

[MC] felt Diego smile against her skin, and the soft press of his lips disappeared. She opened her eyes, not even realising she’d actually closed them, and found him looking down at her, his hands on her waist.

“As with you, my love. What you see as imperfections, I see as a masterpiece, one part of a glorious whole.” He bent down, and kissed her tenderly, lips brushing hers in an action far too chaste for someone who had, moments before, been nearly entirely between her legs.

[MC] chewed at her lip at that thought, and leaned up to kiss him in a way that was thoroughly not chaste, her fingers threading through his hair. He smelled as he always did, warm, and safe, with her favourite cologne on. “Diego…” she breathed. He kissed at her neck, at the spot he had once drunk from, at her collar bone, and she mumbled softly into his hair; “I don’t deserve you.”

He paused. There was a small moment of silence, and he stepped back, holding her at arm’s length, looking more serious than she’d ever seen him before. “[MC]. You deserve me, so much more. You deserve to be pampered, to be worshipped, and if I am to be the one lucky enough to do so, well,” He trailed off, wrapping her in a hug. She clung to him, safe and content in his arms, with all thoughts and criticisms of her body banished from her mind.

There was a momentary pause as he crossed to the bed, pulling her onto his lap to cradle her in his arms. He finished his train of thought, his thumb brushing one of the stretch marks she had, for a moment, been so concerned about.

“Well then I am truly the happiest man on this Earth.”

I write other Lovestruck fic as well! Please see my #lovestruck tag

I can confidently write fic requests for L&L; All characters bar maybe Iseul, ‘cause I havent finished his route yet. HifL; Diego; Razi; JD; Mac less so, havent finished her route yet. SP; Antares. sry other space babes im working on u ST; All of them damn you all of them. VN; Duke. Andi tbc. C:LA!; Clyde; Logan; TK; Serena

Don’t ask me about Sweet Enchantments I haven’t played any of it.

[dunamanticarchivist]

Critical Role Latest of the Lateblogs C2E31 Commerce and Chaos

Well I think this is the longest I’ve held off watching CR 2 since binge-ing the first 13 episodes in a marathon procrastination for roughly 3 days. Which might be a good thing, that I’m giving sufficient priority to things around me. But not being able to browse twitter and tumblr cos spoilers has been rather killer. Now, for a relaxing shopping episode of... critical role. Also that title is amazing

Only 3 and half hours boo hoo

Or did they take out the break in replays?

Oh boi a Sam Riegel southern special

A true blue ‘murican musical masterpiece

ENCORE ENCORE

Oh thank god I thought they took out the audio for the cheesy intro

That wouldn’t be the same any more would it

RIP Sam Riegel, but RIP Matt Mercer first

Dafuq Nott is now inventing flechette rounds in fantasy settings

Holy shit thats gonna be dangerous - one potentially explosive arrow

Im surprised Travis isnt asleep yet

Okokokokokok there are shenanigans afoot with letter forgery

(Ok i got spoiled a bit for this bit, but still)

Liam’s face palm is mood

FROM THE TOWN OF NIGERIA

Jesus there will be a million repercussions spilling out of this and plot ends for Matt to refine into knives to murderinate them with

Oh no this will not end well. At all. RIP erbady’s heart

Diamonds, fucking diamonds 

Ah there is Travis’ eyeroll. RIP him

LETS GO TO PUMAT’S (i saw a pumatprime logo that looks like amazon prime it was awesome sry i forgot who to credit it to on twitter)

Dese kids MOAR PUMATS 

Bath time again?

GIMME THEM BRACERS 

Thats really helpful Jester you should never bargain

A mighty girth....hmm not the group name you are looking for

Interesting spell selections. Feather fall, expeditious retreat, catapult. All 1st levels and uses reaction, bonus action and action. Very versatile

“This longsword”. Travis instantly becomes interested in shopping again. BAD FJORD BAD PUT DOWN THAT LONGSWORD. NO DONT EAT IT AGAIN BAD

The sword that was broken, potential plot point

Dust of deliciousness wtf that sounds absolutely baller

Cleaning out the pumats

ALL THE FUNKY ENCHANTMENTS someone please make the thinking meme for pumat 

The dancing sounds like a Otto’s Irresistable Dance a lvl 6 spell enchantment.

8000 gold for that. Interesting.

As an economics student, I am incredibly fascinated by the price systems that exist in Exandria (so 400 gold for +1 weapon)

Lotta pigeons hooting in here

Tfw when your hobo wiz is charming af

Only 100 gold off, its something but thats less than 5% off the bill (total should come up to 2400 golds ish)

Paper and ink in the same box, I too like to live dangerously

Marisha’s grabby hands for the bracers *squeeee

Matt, you have no idea how heavy paper can get

“May I go to the library” jesus that brings me back to childhood I loved my school library

MOAR SHOPPING RIP TRAVIS ROUND 2

We now have an official cook and potion maker on the road, its gonna be lit

Suvo’s Secrets ooo what a name. 20 ft by 20 ft. The first thing that comes to mind is how a Fireball would put the place to flame. I need help

Holy fuck thats a big dragonborn

Im calling it thats a hoarding hag of a dragonborn

FROM YOUR MOTHERS CHEST really Matt you forget the Ruby of the Sea was a prostitute for one second. Just one second. Meme mode ON

1 gold for fucking garlic they have no fucking sense for money 

They should have just brought Nott along and stole the whole bag

Jester please once again, never negotiate for prices.

Also if Matt was in the mind to fuck with them, they could literally be paying for the privilege of being cursed

Fjord bailing, shopping must have been super depressing

SABIEN??? SABIEN???? GIVE ME PLOT GIVE ME BACKSTORY

Bummer to have a week of failed investigation

ONLY CAT FRUMPKIN

Zenoth still being creepy af

Jebaited monk training Day 1: Time to fucking read

Roleplaying lvl 6 subclass features pretty good

Lotta bows there

Correction Laura: everyone be a Cobalt Soul monk

“I dont get to kill those guys?” aww man

Info dump lads this is a wiki filling episode erbady take notes

The Chained Oblivion? With all the manacles I think that’s shaping up to be BBEG of this campaign

STILL NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO USE THE WORD PENETRATE

Magical experimental in Solstryce? This is not a particularly helpful turn of events

I wonder does the eye serve as a spellcasting focus

THEY SPLIT THE PARTY DOWNTIME MOST DANGEROUS TIME

Lots of charming ASMR voices with the Gentlemen and Fjord

oh shite its cree another WHERE’S MOLLY???

Ya he ded

Eyyy here we go (i got somewhat spoiled for this defacing of temples)

The ‘healers’ got a cloak for Nott the bravest rouge. Yes. But this is entirely wholesome and soul saving

Clearly the cast isnt all the religious or that serious about it

The platinum dragon is now.... a farmer. Very agricultural

-3 to deception at disadvantage. Still a 13. Absolutely golden

This is heresy and we are all going to hell

I HAD JUST HIRED HER goddamn they are horrendous at this skulduggery 

OH SHIIIIT 5 CROWNSGUARDS one of whom appears to be a spellcaster

fuck some kind of forcecage? Ottiluke’s Resilient Sphere does damage?

ALL SHALL FALL TO THE CHARM OF JESTER LAVORRE

RUN YOU IDIOTS RUN

Jesus christ I didnt know I could get anxiety from watching a getaway scene

Good lord Jester virtually blew through her entire long rest of options in one night of revelry

Oh god here cometh the heartbreak

Thats alot of vague speak in the manner of gods

Dafuq the god is real? He can touch the dodecahedron? This sounds like a great amount of fuckery

Holy shit the time indeed passed I forgot there needs to be a break

NO REST WE GO ON LIKE CRITTERS

Taliesin is playing his INT 9 well

Lets go vacationing in the Bahamas/Nicodranas/Menagerie Coast

PLEASE CAST PLEASE LESS PEE AND POOP JOKES IM TRYING TO SNACK

Yes that is exactly how Jester would cast sending someone once wrote fanfic like that. It is obviously now canon

REVENGE FOR NOTT THE BRAVE KILL ALL THE GOBOS

Paper = power

ITS MORE THAN THAT AAAAAA ITS SO WHOLESOME

Everybody gets a dead people tea healing potion

Aaaand we’re back to the beginning

A delicious transitory episode, and hmmm a one-shot 2 weeks from now? Fascinating. 

[okbyokaybye]

sry if this is all over the place im trying to connect some points that ended up being related over the past day.

My dream the night before last- I was in a giant American grocery store with mom, I was being critical of her decision making, evidently being quite cruel about it; I am overwhelmed by my feelings about pollution and ethical consumption-this product had too much plastic packaging that will never break down and will overwhelm marine life, add to the rapidly growing quantity of non-recyclable waste that litters every corner of the world. that product’s parent company sources ingredients in a way that exploits the labor of children overseas, boycott this, abstain from that, the ingredients in here are known carcinogens to the state of California… In the dream, as I have frequently in real life- I spiral down a deep dark hole of anxiety and concern over my carbon footprint, over the impact and trace I leave, and the corporations I am giving my money to-in effect telling them that I believe that it is ok for them to continue production. For personal medical reasons, there is limited options as to the foods me and kin are able to eat, found in limited quantity at limited retailers. My mother will put the needs of her family first before my ideals for the planet, and is not as able as me to make compromises or sacrifice for my greater good. In waking life I am unforgiving to myself at times where I am not as eco-conscious as my most critical self is. In my dream I scream and preach the lowkey horror on the back of every cereal box, I see a grocery store as a hell, as a landmark at the intersection of colonization and ecological collapse, which must be destroyed and condemned. I toss and turn and wake from this stress induced nightmare with significant pain in my knee. There is no possibility for ethical consumption and the puritanical way my dream self wants everyone to function without interaction with evil exploitative powers is entirely impossible. It is unfair for me to assert that my mom or myself is the issue, yet I feel responsible for all of the worlds troubles, I worry I am not being accountable. I always feel this weight, it has been a physical burden to carry earths pain, so much seriousness and stress. Im sorry I have tried to take on more than I can carry, expecting so much of myself and trying to hold others to my impossible standards as well. Today I went to the chiropractor for jaw pain I’ve had for years. It was emotional for me to get x-ray images taken and watch this scene. Up on a screen we see inside my body to my bones. The doctor translates what we are seeing- it is revealed to me that one hip bone sits higher than the other, this causes my vertebrae to be out of line at various places, different angels and severity of incorrectness from the bottom to very top of my spine. Bone starts to change to accommodate for whats in the wrong places and muscles surrounding do to, I wish I could word-for-word re tell his interpretation of my fossil records but I try to understand what is being said about my anatomy. I came in to assess my hurting jaw and my ringing ear and we discover that what is hurting the left side of my face is hurting my right knee and ankle, and is hurting my back and arms and head and hands, pains whose sources were unidentified until now and that I did not realize could be connected like this. I did not express any visual emotion because most of my face was obscured by my the face mask I am required to wear to prevent the spread of covid-19. Yesterday I try to describe to my friend that I use both hands to complete tasks because I use whichever one isn’t hurting. Now I think I may loose my ambidexterity if I have no more pain and no more need to switch off. If pain in my knee did not disturb my sleep would I have had such an intense dream for me to now call upon to reflect on the flaws in my activism. Driving home from the doctor I am frustrated that my newly discovered degenerative bone issue could have been corrected sooner if attention had been paid to my first complaints of knee pain as a child. Instead of thanking her for taking me to the doctor and setting me on the path of pain relief, I held it against her the face that I have been in pain for so long. She said that she has always tried to do the best for me even if she is wrong. I have not been appreciative of her I have just been angry at my own pain and seemed to place blame on her. She is limited by her own chronic pain and I want more than anything for her pain to heal. There is no one source of pain it is all connected and everything is acting and re-acting to the conditions that surround it. I would like to grow my capacity for forgiveness, for trust and communication of these and replace my hostility bitterness and anger. I was raised in a system of blame and punishment not unlike the penal system that governs me and I must utilize the powers of love and forgiveness to heal the parts of myself that perpetuate police mentality. I refuse to submit to my pain and anger and I have hope for some healing for the world.

[gallifvrey]

alright here we go

(i am finally calm enough that i can express my thoughts in words instead of high pitched screaming)

i really, really loved that episode. i thought it was a spectacular end, it frankly went above all of my expectations. the ending w bill was very, very cliche but it was such a nice subversion of tropes, i thought it was really nice and good and i really did like it a lot

the beginning was really good - i liked the two regenerations of the master working together against the doctor (i am def. gonna talk more abt missy later tho) and bill coming back to save the doctor was, really great imo. 

i really liked nardole in this episode, he was a lot more than the comic relief that he had been kinda portrayed as in the previous episodes, and i thought that was really nice, i liked how his hacking skills were utilized in a way that made sense and i liked how he wasnt fazed by anything. he managed to be a funny character while still being a very critical one, 

i thought the master and missy talking and stuff was really interesting, i really really enjoyed their relationship and i thought it was great

i loved the doctor and bill talking. i wanted her to fight him, i wanted her to be human and he woke up and i wanted her to just punch him, to make him apologize for leaving her, for chattering on while she waited for him, because thats what he did. he didnt run down as soon as he realized what was happening (and you know he realized really quickly - he couldve just explained it on their trip down, he didnt have to spend all that time drawing diagrams). i was annoyed and i felt angry on bills behalf i guess that she wasnt able to get angry at him, that she couldnt yell at him like she (and i) wanted to. i almost hope she’ll come back bc i want her to talk abt this with the doctor, but you know, i dont think theyve ever really done that so im not too shocked

i didnt love missy. ive said this a lot before and ill probably keep saying it but i keep thinking that missys redemption arc is... a bit forced. ive been rewatching the previous episodes in the 12th doctor with missy and i realize now that she was moving towards being a “better” person, specifically in regards to the doctor (she didnt want to kill him at every step necessarily), but this whole thing still seems very forced to me, at least. imo the idea of her suddenly standing with the doctor was a bit strange. i havent seen the old episodes so maybe this is some kind of characterization that ive missed, and i know ive only been exposed to an unusually dark and manic version of the master but i liked where she was, i liked how maybe they werent enemies but they were opposites in a way (i think she peaked in the magicians apprentice tbh - that was i think as ~good~ as the master should get, as a character. likes the doctor but has complete disregard for anyone else. her standing with the doctor to save a bunch of people she doesnt know was definitely a weirdly out of character moment, at least to me)

idk maybe i just like watching the doctor suffer (is that weird? probably right?)

i thought her and the master stabbing each other in the back very literally was a good choice, it was interesting to see how the master regenerated, and im interested in how theyre gonna bring the master back (bc i will not believe that they actually killed her off)

the ending, i thought, was so good. i remember reading a thing a while ago about how moffat likes to write his episodes in a very fairytale-like way, and the ending definitely reflected that. i LOVED that bills girlfriend (bc i dont know her name , sry ) showed back up. i loved that so much, i loved how she brought her back to life and made her not a cyberman anymore, and how theyre traveling the universe together. i loved that! them like facing each other and then simultaneously turning and facing out the door and then holding hands and leaving was.. really cliche and seemed a bit silly but you know, ill take it (the gays in space was great), and the bit w bill crying on top of the doctor and then saying “when theres tears, theres hope” or something was also a lot but also sweet, and ill take it bc i was so emotional by that point in the episode i needed something that was stupidly sweet

AND THEN! AFTER THEY LEAVE!! THATS WHEN IT ENDED!! the montage of the companions saying doctor! just i cried!! this was the beginning of my descent, i was ready to depart and then it just ! kept getting worse! i keep talking abt how much i wish they made references to the old seasons (ex. when clara had to lose her memories for the doctor to say like, ive done this before and i hated it) but then all the sudden they did and i was ! not prepared! bc then he goes “i dont want to go” and like, there went my consciousness and boy was i glad that i was watching this w my family who wouldnt judge me bc i was not being rational

and then “when the doctor was me” like i didnt even realize he said that at first honestly i was so caught up in him saying i dont want to go and being emotional bc of that that i couldnt.. handle it, and him refusing to regenerate was so sad!! it was so much like 10 and 10s was the saddest regeneration i couldnt handle it!!! i am not prepared for this christmas special!!! !!!!!!

in conclusion, i loved the episode and am not ready to have my heart ripped out when it comes to the christmas special

[notsoguiltykpop]

hEYO. just want you to know that you're my favourite fanficwriter out there and i really adore ur work. im just wondering if you have any tips for a new tumblerer (?) who wants to post what they write !!! im sry its rly late here so im getting a lil too energetic.

Hi! Aw thank you!! You’re so sweet!

As far as tips go, I’m not sure what to tell you. I’m just kind of a blob on the internet who’s figuring it out as they go along, but I’ll do my best! 

For me, sometimes I have to remind myself that I write for myself, otherwise it can get stressful. I love hearing other peoples opinions and feedback on the things that I write, but at the end of the day, I write stories for fun about things I like. It’s your blog, don’t worry about having to write a certain way or about certain things! It isn’t Eng101 where you have to fit criteria, do what makes you happy.

I’d say don’t worry about whether or not people like what you write, and write what you like, readers will come! While it might drive some of my readers a little crazy, I don’t worry about updating regularly either. Update when you can and have time, people are very understanding! That being said, some people write a chapter or two ahead of what they post, which I think can be a really good strategy! I don’t (bc I’m lazy) but it’s a good idea, especially if you do have an update schedule--that way, it gives you time to write while still updating in a timely fashion. A lot of readers like there to be a usual schedule (I do), but that doesn’t mean you need to have one (I don’t). It’s really just whatever you want to do!

Tags are really helpful for finding readers, and I find that the more specific (and concise) my tags are, the better. 

Proof reading is good (although I’m terrible at it) but don’t freak out if you post something and later realize there was a spelling mistake. Over time, you might find someone who wants to be your betareader, which can be really helpful! 

You’ll probably get some criticism (everyone does), but that’s not always a bad thing! Personally, when I’ve majorly fudged up the spelling of something, or written a sentence that simply does not make any sense whatsoever, I would prefer that people tell me! It can help a lot with growing as a writer--which is one of the main reasons I started this blog. Not only that, but I like to think that if I was to write something problematic, that my followers would talk to me about it and help me to fix and understand my mistake. I’d say be open to growing, but don’t take any of it personally. I misspelled “Ikea” recently, and when someone pointed it out at first I was like “how dumb can I be” but then I was really glad that they pointed it out (now I know how to spell it haha)! Don’t worry about things like that, everyone misspells stuff and makes grammatical errors (even my scary english professor). 

Some of the criticism might not be polite (and some of it might be downright rude), but I always try to remember that tone can be easily lost on the internet. Something that was meant as a joke can come across as rude, and sarcasm can be hard to spot. That being said, if someone is rude/disrespectful, you don’t have to put up with it. There is a block option for a reason, and while I haven’t had to use it yet (thankfully) a lot of people do. Generally, I’ve found that just talking to someone can clear the air--they’ll either tell you that what they meant wasn’t how it came across, or they’ll continue to be rude and you can block them.

If someone doesn’t like your writing, honestly it’s their problem, not yours. As I said, it’s your blog. Don’t let other people turn it into something that is stressful for you. I’ve seen it happen a lot, and it makes me sad to see that something so fun can turn into something so draining.

Take breaks from writing when you need to! I do all the time (haha... sorry). But seriously, even though I’m sure you already know this, make sure you take time for yourself and take care of yourself both mentally and physically. Your readers can and will wait. 

Tl;dr More than anything, the biggest thing I can tell you is don’t worry about it tbh. Go for it! And if you (or anyone else) have any more questions, I would love to answer them the best I can! I hope this was mildly helpful

Good luck with your writing, and I would love to read it when you post it!

[ramtiger]

@liverpeps​ THANK U FOR UR COMMENTS ON THIS POST IM SO GLAD HONESTLY

liverpeps said: ffxv did great on making the game’s Actual Story Progress Boss Points(like titan, leviathan, ardyn) more cinematic than BRUTALLY IMPOSSIBLE like some other enemies in the game (ravus was a Beast, and ssssso many daemons are MCFREAKING. HELL TO FIGHT) so i always thought it was brilliant of the ffxv team to make a game within a series that typically doesn’t have difficulty levels bc Turn Based be Active Battle à la kingdom hearts but still be playable for pretty much any level of gamer–

liverpeps said: –while still offering Brutally, Really Hard Shit (ie adamantoise) to offset an otherwise cinematic bunch of bosses (which, to their credit and in their défense, while they ARE cinematic, they aren’t necessarily easy either bc mcfreaking titan had you jumping around trying to kill multiple enemies plus Big Ass Titan, leviathan had you chasing her tf around in desperation, ifrit had Sick Moves and Hit Hard As Shit and ardyn was in godmode like noctis-

i looooooved fighting the astrals. all of them were good battles. i kinda wish you could have fought ramuh and shiva (but at the same time im so glad they trust me?? especially gentiana im honored) and im keeping my fingers crossed for a bahamut-in-the-crystal fight in a future dlc because i know that would be fun and also have a WHOLE lotta swords to dodge and run from. oh man or the giant Old Wall statues from kingsglaive. i love fighting giant things.

(speaking of fighting giant things im really excited for the shadow of the colossus remake because i didnt get a ps2 until 2015 and still dont personally own the game. im ready to fight some giant things and feel absolutely terrible about hurting all of them except dirge the sand tiger :D)

also i’ve never actually fought the adamantoise (because im not good at games* and would rather not bother the wildlife) but apparently now u can suck it up with the ring of the lucii. that was the weirdest difficulty adjustment because i didn’t have a lot of trouble with the ring before? i thought it was strong enough to be a good defensive weapon but definitely enough to have you avoiding enemies. honestly chapter 13 was my favorite because of the helplessness and stealth. i was kinda sad i got the sword of the father tbh. my next run of chapter 13 i’m gonna not use the sword at all cause the ring is fun and effective.

(so much so that i bought myself the replica ring of the lucii and i cant wait for it to get here)

(*games in this context meaning long-form combat focused games. i’m really good at microgame-style games like warioware and cooking mama and i’ve need Big Name Gamers get absolutely annihilated at them?)

liverpeps said: -although like you mentioned in tags.. ardyn was surprisingly and disappointingly boring for him being the Biggest Final Bad) SRY I ENDED UP RAMBLING BUT I FEEL YOU A LOT ON HARSH CRITICISM ON FFXV’S GAME DIFFICULTY BC ITS NOT A BABY EASY GAME LIKE SOME (hard air quotes) GAMERZ ARE COMPLAINING AND SHOUTING. FFXV KICKS YOUR ASS SO HARD W EVEN JUST BASIC WILDLIFE CREATURES. GARULAS BEAT ME BLACK AND BLUE. 

that ardyn fight lacked so much of that Ardyn Showmanship. i was so disappointed. i was ready for some Cruel Strats or some traps or for my friends to wake up and suddenly pull me into a big strategy (like how you do with deadeye in episode duscae because bawww i loved that fight) and then the biggest and only ardyn thing he does is kick me while standing on his bad leg (which is admittedly incredibly #extra and i love it) and thats it. i know u waited 10 years to fight me, chancellor, but u could make it more flashy and playful have a lot more fun with it and act a little less like you’re wearing this:

and yeah!! if ur looking for harder fights there are harder fights than the bosses!!!!!!!! especially since the update with the stinky tofu that drops u to level one!!!!!!! eat some of that and go fight the zu!!!

liverpeps said: theres so much i want to say constantly abt ffxv bc some people are super harsh abt a lot of things for it when like.. even though yeah some gameplay and story elements felt rushed or whatever, it was all around such an amazing game w an amazing group of charas w an ending that packs the biggest gotdam punch… i get salty the most over really rude loud versus13 people who crap on xv :^[ 

YEAH SERIOUSLY. sometimes i like to complain on twitter SUPER early in the morning and one time i said something to the effect of “dont say final fantasy v/ersus 13 is a better game than ffxv because v13 is not a game that exists” and a guy i had never spoken to who did not follow me came and got into an argument with me??? for saying a game that is not real can’t be better than a game that is real. and like, i didn’t tag this or anything. i wasnt intentionally puking on your concept/beta, i was tired and i wanted to rant about exactly the thing you are doing right now. i dont understand why that had to happen.

i love ffxv so much tho. i love it dearly and its honestly going to remain one of my favorite games no matter what anybody says. i love the boys and their friendship, i love my dad King Regis Lucis Caelum CXIII, i love his fancy car, and i just love so much in this game. its a good time

[dunamanticarchivist]

Critical Role is Life: Reflections

Hooboy what an episode 26 was, what a way to break in the new studio. Spoilers ahead thar be so shy away if you must, I’ll see if I can give a teaser without spoiling in another post, but not right now. For now, I’ll just do what I always do when there are things to think about: Write as truthfully to myself as I can, a journal of sorts, if only to sort my own head out.

I’m in Asia atm, so while the episode closed, I had the rest of the day ahead of me, around 3pm onwards. Fortunately or unfortunately, I am still on summer break, so...nothing except to mope about. I read a bit of twitter, a bit of discord, gingerly browsed reddit, stayed the fuck away from twitch (im sry but twitch is....not my preferred viewing platform, its usually alpha with the chat closed, but connection hasn’t been the best so atm youtube, which is also how I started watching critical role) 

So I did my usual pondering on the meaning of life and the 5 stages of grief. But really, at 6pm I decided it was enough and decided to go for a swim (which the apartments at my place had a communal pool for). It was rather relaxing and helped put a good deal of distance between me and the more emotive parts of me that were, well, in shock. 

I can see how some people are more hurt than others; it cuts a little too close to home. For some, Molly has become a part of their identity and the empathetic pain is felt keenly. Others lament the situation in which he perished; ignominy of essentially killing himself, death in pursuit of slavers that took his friends, counting on a stranger who balked as things came to a head. 

Thoughts turned to the immediate future, what were the remaining adventurers to do? They are in the wilderness, with a departing caravan of slavers and 3 of their friends captive, whilst another lay dead on the ground. They’ve failed in their hasty rescue attempt, and one of them paid the blood price. They would need a cleric to resurrect Molly, and they may not even be aware whether it is possible given the time and resources they would need to find a cleric, seeing as the one cleric they know is currently being carted off. If I had to guess, Molly is very dead. (there goes the bargaining stage of grief)

I wanted to be angry, but at what? Fate? The cast? Don’t be silly, their RP was rather well done, maybe a tad bit much, but that’s what we’re here for no? I could still temper it into dislike for Keg the character, who I had rather liked up till that point, with the dual wielding aesthetic, gruff but jovial manner. But when it came down to it, she fled. She ran away from that which she swore vengeance on. She ran after Molly trusted her to have “got this”. One could argue that she redeemed herself by throwing herself at Lorenzo’s mercy to prevent a slaughter. For me its still a little too raw for forgiveness and I found myself wondering why she was not slain nor enslaved. (and perhaps, that was the anger stage)

Perhaps it would be the mindset of a chief slaver, one who thrives on fear, mistrust and pain, to sow the seeds of mental assault after a physical attack. And so I turned my mind away from that. I reject the blaming, the grief, the helplessness. I cannot change the fate of the Nein, they are the characters of the cast; if anyone were to feel most strongly about the turn of events, it would be them, not I nor we the viewers. 

What I can do, is to choose my reaction. I choose to learn, to comprehend (and consume, provoke etc etc things Fjord’s patron would approve of). 

It may be a cliche, but I’m starting to believe The good die young

The Chinese have a similar belief: the sharpest knives dull first, for they are used most often. Or that the most hardworking farm animals tire first, for they are most relied upon. 

Molly was an unabashedly Good character. He believed in doing a good turn, had a great appreciation for the littlest things in life and reveled in the act of living happy and free every day. His death, would be/is certainly a definite turn in the narrative of this campaign, towards the dark, akin to Diggory /Dumbledore/Dobby in Harry Potter. Narratively, fuck yes it makes sense. We have the first true arc of this campaign, a real villain to fight (Trent doesn’t quite count he is a smidge too strong to conceivably take on in the near future)

And so I choose not to grieve for Molly’s passing, but to celebrate his life. Although his eulogy should be delivered by the cast/fanfic authors who are much better at this, or it is perhaps even premature. For me, I took the rest of the evening to be happy with the little things in life I found today, like the crimson sunset, the cold air, the takeaway dinner for my family. 

Perhaps the rest of the Nein learned some things too. Beau could reconsider her headstrong plans, Caleb could realize that no plan survives contact with the enemy and maybe Nott could be quicker to reach for the crossbow as the first option. Those are just possibilities, and I’m probably rambling a bit. Considering its almost midnight here. And I just took one shot of Irish liqueur in memory of Molly (ok maybe not I actually just like Irish liqueur, but it seemed fitting)

T’was a long and fateful day, July 13th the Friday. A roller-coaster of events and not just from Critical Role, but I guess that they are similarly emotional draining is a sign for me that I can happily continue with this show, as I do my life. Raise your glasses for Mollymauk Tealeaf, and take a shot.