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rainbowgod666 · 9 months ago

Note

(Loud pop)

A-

Lumine & Aether: (HAREM INTENSIFIES)

Childe: definetively bi. But would choose lumine if they could. AETHER MURDERHOBO ONII-CHAN CANON.

Venti: dont fucking ask how he tamed dvalin.

Ei/raiden shogun/raiden shotgun/baal/etc.: yae miko turned her gay lol 🥰

Yae Miko: CHAOTIC PANSEXUAL (kinda like my self-insert oc, but without the surprisingly high libido) (yeet)

Bennet: soft boi. Also probably in a (very gay honestly) relationship with razor. Yes its the tenderest sweetest thing ever and iT MELTS MY POOR HEART

Razor: he puts "wolf" while wagging his tail a lot looking at you like ⁰^⁰. Look at him hes SO CUTE. AND HES A STAND USER. LOOK AT HIMMM

Albedo: now that i think about it, they're probably aroace, and i mean in the "is not interested but not even against it. Hes too busy doing something else to be horny" way. Also they 100% have autism: Fear of destroying a country if they lose control? Isolationist but craves contact? Is basically W.D.Gaster?? DRAWING SKILLS??? Boi in italy you would have bonuses granted by Law 104 i tell you (yes that law is a massive meme here and i LOVE IT)

Kaeya: just really flamboyant. Ironic considering his Cryo element

Diluc: a mystery i tell you. Dude looks like he doesnt care. Heck does he even KNOW about gender identities??? Cause i know that he will respect pronouns and whatnot, since hes more worried about you paying

Zhongli: maybe gay???????questionmark? He just rambles way too long about the past (and that osmanthus wine thing was A ONE TIME THING and its still a meme) (leave his old arse alone fr)

Hu-Tao: trust me. Once shes done with you you will understand WHY she runs a funeral parlor. Girl is wacky i tell you

Scaramouche: aside from the VERY FUNNY HAHA "WE ARE NOT REFERENCING QUEEN IN ANY WAY SO NOW HES HYDRO LMAO" SITUATIOn hes in. I think hes the "im whatever gender makes you gay" thing. Which is funny because the INSTANT he isnt full topping he LOSES IT. Like dude wtf aether is still confused as to the noises you made that one time. What the fuck. Its somehow more bearable when youre insufferably smug cause THAT has meaning at least

Collei: amber

Amber: collei

Yes i ship them. Its yuri and its lovely.

Also collei straight up called inazuma cringe. Like holy shit girl you are too based

Fischl: okay "prinzesshit der götterfuckerung" can yOU PLEASE GET TO THE FUCKIGN POINT YOU WATERED-DOWN BETTER VERSION OF ASUKA EVANGELION?

Candace: CANDACE DI-

Thoma: straight and doesnt hate. If anything hes the matchmaker!

Yoimiya: too busy recreating the new years eve in naples every time something even REMOTELY worth celebrating happens. But honestly i dont think she would mind the gender (AKA: neither aro or ace, just really, really, REALLY fucking busy)

Ganyu: n ö p ü l l t ö d ä y . . .

SuSbedo: has definetively "fooled around" with the original. Which hey, now Albedo knows why people love his hair: they really are really soft and fluffy

Paimon: at least ONCE she fantasized about both aether and lumine. And when she figured out what people mean with "eating out"... apriti cielo as we say here in italy

Arlecchino: too ashamed from when I called them "undertale AU looking ass". IT WAS A COMPLIMENT DUDE YO ASS CRAWLED OUT FROM @jakei95'S XTALE AND YOU STARTED SLAYING CMON DUDE I DONT EVEN HAVE GENSHIN IM SO SORRY

Furina: has definetively fantasized about their personalities. Good lord girl get a life 😐🙏

Cloud Retainer: way too many people are attracted to her, she aro and probably ace because, well. She Literally Asks Wtf Is Wrong With You. STOP BARKING-

Baizhu: gay, but in a "orochimaru in boruto" way. On that note, they would be friends (baizhu didnt commit warcrimes but hey, snek fren :3)

Kazuha: trust me, he has been r i d i n g the canadian aether joke without the canadian and the joke lololol for a long time coming

Lyney: hes trying so hard to rizz the player up its unreeeeeal🤣🤣🤣 dude we get it you wanna fuck aether and SO DOES 90% OF THE FUCKING CAST

Lynnette: same, but shyer and for lumine. Also everyone really w a n t her

Beidou: has made girls realize they're gay WAY TOO MANY TIMES FR. She wouldnt mind a girl herself tho

Barbara: girl has Idol Problems. Like she doesnt get it at first and is like "THE FUCKIGN STATUE IS RIGHT THERE YOU (insert swearing) (on that note, get her away from alcohol holy shit how can such a cute thing repress so much ANGER and VIOLENCE)" but then she gets ir and is like "Ooooh... now i get it. Shit"

Rosaria: shes probably the reason why Girls In Nun-like Drip is a thing in r34. Fr girl 🙄

Tighnari: uh oh! Its the Internalized Homophobia~ (gay but will always deny it)

Chongyun: needs to control emotions or else he explodes

Xingqiu: the thing that makes chongyun explode (and hes way smaller than chongyun ifyouknowhatimean( ͡° ω ͡°))

KoKomi: so many KoK jokes like holy shit. Anyways if any girl were to have a schlong its her, beidou, or...

Ningguang: old wina aunt that just wants to lay down (on someone lol) (yeah she has loneliness problems)

Aloy: (gestures to the entirety of horizon zero dawn) do i even have to say anything?

Eula: wants vengeance

uhhh hcs for sucrose bennett and noelle?

ooh okay lets go

sucrose, lithosexual recipromantic demigirl (she/it)

bennett, aroflux homoflexible transmasc genderfluid (he/they)

noelle, pan lithoaroace cis (she/her)

wbu

#genshin hcs #welcome to the multiverse #(THE TROLL SONG EARRAPE EDITION INTENSIFIES)

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babyboibucky · 4 years ago

Text

Should’ve Known Better

Pairing: EB!Frank x Reader

Summary: You should have known better than to sleep with a friend.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Smut, FWB set-up, a little bit of toxic shit, angst

A/N: Frank got the most votes when I asked which other Seb character I should write for, so here it is! This is very personal to me lmfao it’s somewhat based on my own experience that really fucked me up a couple of years ago aksncajscna no but for real, stay away from the friends with benefits kind of relationship if you can’t keep shit purely sexual lmao also some guys are just fucking assholes even if they’re your friend lol

ALSO, I tagged those who are in my Everything Bucky Tag List. I’m not sure if I’ll write more Frank in the future too so I won’t be creating a separate tag list for him yet.

MAIN MASTERLIST

"Do you love me?"

It was a simple question that was supposed to make you think. Given your experiences and your personality in general, you were supposed to cringe and ignore it. Maybe even make a joke out of it, especially that it was Frank who was asking you this question.

He wasn't supposed to ask it too. He wasn't one to ask such thing, not especially with the relationship that the both of you have. It was clear from the get go that this was nothing serious.

So why was he asking it now?

And why did you respond to it right away, as if you knew your answer even before he asked?

"Come on, it'll be fun."

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"I'll make you feel good, you won't regret this."

It did feel good, you were going to give Frank that. Possibly the best, even. But the latter part? You weren't so sure. Were you regretting it? Honestly, no.

Maybe not yet.

You'd rather not think about it for now.

"What's there to lose? We know each other too much to develop feelings anyway, you said so yourself."

Oh there's plenty to lose. Maybe a decade's worth of platonic (was it really platonic from the beginning though?) friendship. Your self-esteem was on the line too, but you didn't know it yet. You'll get there though, whether you like it or not.

"I'm free next Friday, come over. Spend the night with me. What do you say?"

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"Next Friday. I'll see you, okay?"

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"Ugh, fine."

But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

That first night with Frank was something else. It was fun and he kept his promise to make you feel good. So, so good. You never thought that sex could be that fucking good. At least, not with your previous partners. Not that you had many in the first place.

But god, Frank knew what he was doing and he loved doing things to you. He loved the entire process of knowing your body, what you liked and what you loved. How you liked to be kissed and touched and fucked.

He studied your body like his fucking life depended on it and you let him. You let him own your body because you needed someone to. You needed to feel something, wanted to have a purpose even for just a short while, even if it meant being someone's fuck buddy.

You felt lost for the longest time, but as you laid on Frank's bed with his tongue lapping up your cunt, you actually felt like you belonged somewhere.

You weren't a booty call, definitely not. And when things escalated between the both of you, Frank was already single and had broken off with his recent girlfriend, Daphne. You weren't a doormat nor a side chick. Frank had been your friend for the longest time, one of your closest actually. He knew you the best and not just physically. Frank knew the darkest parts of you the same way you knew him like the back of your hand. He was the most open to you, he said so himself.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." he told you one time.

Frank wasn't afraid to show you his true colors; how he wasn't the kind to settle for one or how he would often end up with someone immature or toxic. He himself was toxic and for the most part, you tolerated him.

That was the mistake on your part.

You let him be himself, that's why you held a special place in his heart. Not even his past girlfriends could get rid of you. You were untouchable.

"Are you sure she's fine with us going out?" you asked Frank one time, as the both of you headed to the movies.

He scoffed, "Yeah, don't worry. I already told her you're my best friend. You're off limits." he chuckled as he placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you inside the cinema.

"You're fine." he reassured again, this time wrapping his arm around your shoulder and then cradling your head playfully.

Looking back, you sometimes ponder whether the friendship was really platonic. You were sure of it when the both of you first became friends; he was a couple of years older than you. You sort of looked up to him like an older brother for the first few years of your relationship. And he was very caring too, always looking out for you.

Your other friends were the first one to notice the closeness. They often told you that Frank seemed to have a thing for you. You brushed it off though, saying that it was impossible.

His girlfriend then was an acquaintance of yours. She was nice and wasn't bothered by how Frank was affectionate towards you.

Indeed, you were untouchable. You were the best friend after all.

"We fought again."

You rolled your eyes at Frank as he sat across from you at a local coffee shop near your place. It was your birthday and as always, you spent the most part of it with Frank.

It was like a tradition already, to celebrate your birthday with Frank first before you went out with your friends. Or even family. It was that kind of friendship.

"I'm sorry but who are we talking about again?" you joked.

Frank made a face, "Daphne." he responded. "I just told you about her like, two days ago."

You snickered, "I was kidding. But honestly though, you have to stop flirting with other girls. It's been really difficult for me to keep track of your record, Frank. And are you and Daphne even official?" you asked, taking a sip from your cold brew.

He rubbed his chin and shrugged, "Sorta. Well, we were official two weeks ago. Now though, I'm not so sure. Here's the thing, Daphne can be really..." he said, trying to search for the right words.

You hummed and shook your head, "Immature?" you said and mindlessly scrolled through your phone.

"You should really stop dating girls who are immature, Frank. I swear to god, this is like...I don't know, the fifth time you dated someone like her? Why don't you settle for someone who actually acts her age?" you blurted out.

Frank groaned and transferred to the seat next to you, his body facing yours and his hand landing on your thigh. You didn't mind, didn't think it was too touchy or intimate for someone who was in a relationship. It was pretty common for Frank to be this touchy with you anyway, you never paid much attention to it nor given it any malice.

"We fought because of you actually." Frank admitted with an apologetic smile.

Your head snapped towards him, a scowl etched on your face. "What did I do?!" you asked in defense.

"It was my fault. Daph saw your photo inside my wallet." he said.

"You should really throw away that photo. Jesus, why do you still have it anyway?" you complained.

Frank scoffed, "That's my favorite photo of you. I don't wanna get rid of it."

That was the last day that you considered your friendship with Frank platonic.

Come over

I miss u xoxo

Miss eating u out

Miss ur moans, wanna hear them again

You groaned at the continuous notifications that flooded your phone. While you were at work. After that first night with Frank, he had gotten extra clingy. No lies though, it felt nice to be wanted like this.

im free nxt Sat

Yay

Cant wait to see u, missed u a lot

dude, we were at the mall together just last wk

U really dont get attached do u?

Frowning at Frank's reply, you honestly didn't understand what he was implying.

what u mean?

Nothing

Work kept you busy for the entire week, with Frank bombarding you with sweet texts. You've avoided being sweet with him, it felt wrong. You weren't an affectionate person but Frank was, it was sort of one-sided. It wasn't a big deal anyway.

No one from the rest of your friends knew what had become of your friendship with Frank. You just thought it wasn't something that should be revealed. It was like your and Frank's little secret. You had to admit, the thrill only made the sex better.

Whenever the both of you went out with other people, the tension was there and it was fun. It was fun trying to brush off the way Frank's hand would steal touches from your waist, or how he'd subtly squeeze your thigh. The looks you exchanged from across the room; how Frank's "fuck me" eyes were meant for you and only you.

Things like that made you feel a certain type of way. But you never dwelled on it, or at least, you thought you didn't.

"Yeah, fuck...just like that, baby."

Frank's fingers dug deeply into the skin of your ass as he guided your hips. You gripped onto the back of the couch as you bounced on his cock, head thrown back from pleasure as Frank suckled one of your nipples. You could feel each of his fingers pressing down against your skin, it's probably going to leave bruises again.

"Frank, shit. I'm close." you panted against the skin of his neck, your arms wrapping around his shoulders and pulling him close.

Frank grunted and took your face in between his palms, forcing you to look at him as he began to thrust his hips upwards, eliciting a high-pitched whimper from you.

"Wanted to see you like this ever since." he breathed out, pressing his lips against your open mouth.

"Wanted you since we met, d'you know that?" he asked, grabbing a fistful of your hair and tugging your head back so he could nibble on your throat.

You shook your head and gripped his shoulders, nails scratching at his skin as you continued to ride his cock, "God, Frank...so close." you moaned.

You felt Frank's lips curl into a smirk against your neck, his fingers gripping your hair to keep you in place as his other hand slipped in between your bodies, finding your clit and rubbing it to help you reach your climax.

Every single time he touched you, you felt like your entire body was on fire. You felt the most alive, the most free whenever Frank fucked you. Maybe because he was truly gifted in bed or maybe he just knew your body and how to make it sing.

Or maybe it was because of the way he looked at you whenever you fall apart for him. Like he only had eyes for you, like it was only you that he could see.

Sweaty bodies and hoarse voices, the smell of smoke and sex lingering in the air. It was such a familiar ambiance by now. You liked how the aftermath of fucking Frank was never awkward, if any, it was a comfortable experience with the both of you just talking casually about how each other's day went.

"So I'm talking to this girl..." Frank said, turning you around so he could spoon you. Oh, the irony of the intimacy and conversation.

"Where'd you meet this girl?" you asked.

"Tinder." Frank snorted before pressing a kiss on your nape. "No, but she's different. I don't know, there's something about her."

You merely hummed in response.

"Think I might ask her out."

The first sting. The first realization. The first denial.

You should've said no. You should've known better.

The art exhibit wasn't a flop, but you wouldn't call it a success either. When you got a call from the organizer asking whether they can include your paintings in the exhibit, you said yes instantly. What can you say? You were a struggling artist who was seeking validation.

But now that you stood in front of your works with barely ten people attending the one-day exhibit, you thought that this wasn't a validation. It felt like a wake up call that maybe, art wasn't your calling and that you should probably give up on your dream.

"These are amazing."

You were on the verge of breaking down when you heard his voice. Turning around, you were surprised to see Frank. He was nodding his head as he approached you, his eyes scanning each of your painting.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had work." you asked.

Frank gave you a face, "Did you really think I'd miss out on your first exhibit?" he said and pulled you into a warm embrace.

"I'm proud of you." he whispered before kissing the crown of your head.

One validation from Frank was all it took for the walls to crumble down. He was the one who had been there for you all along and that was why you completely trusted him.

Frank will never hurt you, he'll never bring you down.

Or so you thought.

"Do you love me?"

It was a question that was supposed to make you think. But you didn't, because even before Frank decided to ask you that, you already had your answer.

You knew your answer for the longest time now, but decided to lock it into a box that you kept in the deepest part of your heart. It remained there unbothered and almost forgotten, up until this point.

That's why it was so easy for you to respond to it without even batting an eye.

"Yes."

It was too late when you realized that you had just admitted that you were in love with Frank. But you felt like it was the right time for you to bring out the key to that box, open it and just set your truth free.

They said that the truth will set you free, but why does it feel like it only imprisoned you?

"Shit, I was kidding." Frank said, his face panicked and body stiff from your unexpected admission.

Before you could even say something, Frank let out a nervous laugh as he ran his hand through his locks. "Wow, I didn't...are you serious?" he asked again.

It took you everything to brush off the pain, "Yeah, but it's no big deal. Come on." you shook your head and forced out a breathy chuckle.

Frank heaved out a deep sigh, "Fuck, I was messing with you. Are you sure it's fine? I mean, would this change anything?" he asked.

You deadpanned, "No, Frank. It wouldn't change anything. Like I said, get over it. It's not like I'm in love with you. I just love you...if that makes sense? You're my friend." you explained, more like lied.

"Look, it's not like I'm unattracted to you. I like you, I like spending time with you. It's just that I sort of don't see myself committing to you."

It didn't sink in to you immediately, Frank's statement. You didn't pay it any mind because again, you knew Frank. He wasn't one to commit so that was fine, you understand where he was coming from. It's not like you were going to force yourself on him too. But then you accidentally glanced at his phone and saw the messages he'd been exchanging with a certain someone.

When r u coming home?

In a little while, Daph

That night, Frank's statement hit you like a ton of bricks but again, you chose to deny what you actually felt. It's fine.

You're fine.

You should've said no. You should've known better.

Those words rang in your ears on the day that you found out. Your body turned cold, your vision blurred and your head spun. You'd never experienced hurt and anger like this, the kind that consumed you.

The kind that made you realized and admit that fuck, you'd truly fallen for Frank only for him to break your heart.

It didn't help that you were having such a terrible day at work. And Frank was so sweet to ask you whether you wanted to meet up with him. Not for sex, but to talk. The sex came rarely recently and was replaced with wholesome trips to the grocery, shit like that.

You knew there was something special going on. Even after he told you that he didn't see himself being with you, there was something.

Apparently, that something was just an assumption. Because when you asked Frank to meet you up that night, he said he couldn't and needed to be somewhere. That he'd meet with you the next day instead, a promise.

But then you saw him post a photo of him and Daphne. And it made your blood boil.

u back together?

No. Not really, been trying to fix it but u know how it is.

if ur trying to fix it with her then im out, frank

Wait what? Hey, are u mad?

r u fucking serious? u knew i love u and u come here parading ur ex, what the fuck is that all abt?

Shit, hey. Look, let's talk later, okay? Im out, will txt u when Im free.

Frank didn't text you back for the rest of the day.

You should've said no. You should've known better. But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

Were you regretting it? Yes. Sometimes.

You didn't know which hurt the most, the fact that Frank kept you in the dark while he was trying to patch things up with his ex, or that he considered you his best friend and still chose to break your heart.

He knew you the best, your relationship and trust issues and out of all the people, he really had to be the one to fuck you up the most. You trusted him so much, trusted him not to hurt you. Hell, if he doesn't want to commit then that's fine. But for him to treat you like a second option? Fuck that.

For him to confuse you with his actions, the intimacy...were all of those even real? All the times he came to your support when you had no one, when he was there for you on days you felt alone. What were those? He made you feel so fucking special, like it was possible to actually turn the friendship into something more than just fucking.

All this time you thought it was one-sided because you never actually showed Frank how much you meant to him the same way he did to you. Turned out that it was one-sided, but only because you were the only one who fell.

The following day, you received a voicemail from Frank. You pondered whether you were ready to listen to it but at the same time, you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. It was pretty stupid, he fucked you up and there was no excuse for that. But the friendship you had with him had a strong hold on you.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. That was my mistake." he started off. "I thought that this was really just sex and having fun, but I want you to know that I like you. I really do, you're special to me. Please give me a chance to make things right. Daph and I...I want to end things with her. Please stay, I don't know what I'd do without you."

“I just didn’t expect that you’d end up falling for me, I mean shit. You know the real me, how fucked up I am when it comes to relationships. Just please...please stay?”

Did you stay? Sort of. But you kept your distance, didn't meet up with Frank after that and only responded to his texts occasionally. Did he end things with Daph?

He didn't.

He said he would but instead, they got back together.

It was fucking selfish of Frank to ask for you to stay only for him to get back together with his ex. It'd be better for him to just slap you in the face then.

Being told that he couldn't see himself committing to you but then going back with his ex was the cherry on top. God, if that didn't mess up with your self-worth.

You totally stopped talking to Frank, ignored his texts and calls. You stayed away from him, tried to get over him and eventually, you did. But you'd be lying if you said that he never left an effect on you. Because he did, Frank did a number on you and it would take you a long fucking time to completely recover from the damage he inflicted on you.

You should've said no. You should've known better. But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

And that's okay, because there's nothing wrong with taking risks and ending up in heartbreak.

You live, you love and you learn.

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm @charminivy @amelia-song-pond @iamvalentinaconstanza @mcubqrnes @i’m-squished @tcc-gizmachine @sipsteacasually @prettyintopeerpressure @weloveyasmin @est19xxshit @bloodhon3yx @dressed-in-prada @lizette50 @thatfangirl42 @sunflowerbunny2 @unmagically @okiegirl24 @sugarpunch-princess @enlyume @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp @lyoongx @just-deka @nobody-will @jaziona92 @elisebuitron @dpaccione @suvikamahes98blr @buckybarneshairpullingkink @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes @iloveangstposts @weenersoldierr @asemistablehundredyearoldman @reidbuck @lizzarooni @girlfriday007 @bonkywobble @lost-in-the-stars03 @its-yasbxtch @whoth3hellisbucky

#bbb writes #oneshots: eb frank #endings beginnings #frank endings beginnings #sebastian stan

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mistressemmedi · 3 years ago

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Mick anon again. This was in monaco btw which was a bad weekend for him. I dont know I just felt very protective all of a sudden and I probably scared him a little bit with how motivational I was like 🥴. I literally gave him a ted talk and the poor guy just let me. Please I am so ashamed when I think about how ridiculous I must have looked for him. I just told him we know this year is difficult and that he has a shit car (yes i said shit car) and he must not let it eat his confidence away, to not let any criticism make him doubt who he is, that he’s rightfully earned his place in the grid, that he is allowed to be michael’s son while also being his own person capable of doing F1 in his own way. I honestly said so many things to lift him up. And he was so shy (probably embarrassed😭sorry) and sweet, looked me in the eye and said “thank you so much. Means so much to me.” My face felt so hot and red and his gf just looked at me with a a warm smile. Lmaooooo then I realized I looked like a damn fool. And i said oh sorry for talking too much and they both said it’s okay dont worry. And at this point i was dead from embarrassement. And then some guy interrupted (thank god!) and said they needed to go. So we said our goodbyes and mivo squeezed my shoulder since we could not hug and told me to take care and said hi to my dad. The gf smiled again (i hope she does not hate me) and said “bye take care.” She has a really sweet voice. Then they went away. Mick turned his head to look at me again and I just stood there like 🧍🏾‍♀️and he smiled and I smiled (dying of embarrassment inside really) and waved him goodbye. Then i took my cringe ass back to my hotel room and screamed at how embarrassing I am. Oh my fvking god.

STOP, THIS HONESTLY SO CUTE AND SOFT, I'M- 😭

Fam, honestly, if you gave him a pep talk like that, then I need to hire you as my personal hype man for when I'm feeling down

#anon #q&a #mick schumacher

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tomdiddlyumptious · 4 years ago

Text

T.H| My Mortal Enemy

Summary: you really dont wanna dance with him

Warnings: uhhh language per usual other then that idk-

A/n: I actually wanted to create a series with princess!reader but i wasnt sure.

A LOVE TRIANGLEEEEE OMFGGGGG prince!tom x princess!reader x timothee chalamet

“Y/n suck it up” “suck what up?” “Your stomach” you took a deep breath in and grunted when she pulled thhe strings of the corset.

“Fuck you” you sighed, holding onto your stomach while she laughed “you have to dance with him, theres no way around it” zendaya said, tying the strings together while you complained.

“Im not dancing with him! Ill just dance with timothee” you commented, wiping the sweat from your forehead before she grabbed the hoop skirt, telling you to step into it.

“You’re becoming queen and toms becoming king. There’s literally nothing you can fucking do” she muttered, picking it up and putting it on your hips, quickly closing it. “Im not happy with that”

“Honey please. Clearly” she glared at you, and you smacked your lips and raised your hands in the air, the detailed white skirt, small roses and small patterns, coming over your head and down ontop of the hoop skirt.

“Beautiful” she smiled, looking at you in the mirror while you stood there shoulders slumped. “I look like one of those creepy baby dolls”

She hit you in the back making you stand up straight “you wont get anywhere with that attitude, you go in there with confidence and your head held high. For tom..... i dont know what hes gonna do but dont let that ruin your mood”

“Thanks that means so much-“ “shut up” she ordered, eyeing you as you kept your lips sealed tight. She grabbed the heels and bended down on her knees, snatching your foot making you almost fall.

“You know i couldve had someone else doing this for me. You dont have to-“ “i need you to look your best, princess” she muttered, slipping the shoe on and doing the same with the other.

“Im not marrying that scoundrel, harrison” he said, his helpers helping him while harrison watched, laughing at him. “If you wont i will,” “shut up” “you dont even like her” “so?”

He stared at harrison with daggers, while harrison played with a smirk on his face. “It cant be that hard. Just a dance and youd never have to make contact again” timothee shrugged, swirling the ice in his glass.

“You dont know i feel towards her” tom whispered. “Well you obviously hate her, but shes the most beautiful woman in this palace, everyone thinks so!”

“Eh id rather marry zendaya” “zac will kick your ass” harrison said, “thats besides the point” “tom just be quiet” tim said and tom furrowed his eyebrows at him.

“You literally talk about her all the time. If you have such a problem let one of us dance with her” he offered. “Why would i do that?”

“Because you hate her!” They both shouted at him. “I-i dont hate her....i just have se negative feelings about her”

“Then why do you talk about her all the fuckin time?”

He didn’t know how to answer that. He didnt know if he loved you or hated you. It was whatever he felt in the moment.

And that left him with a sigh and a shrug “i dont know”

“You look absolutely stunning!” Zac said, his arm wrapped around zendaya while Had a smile in her face. “She thinks she looks like a doll, a creepy one”

“Welp that isnt gonna get you anywhere...” “exactly what i said!” “Can i please take off these heels?” You asked hopping on one foot to scratch the back of your ankle.

“Nooo! Come on!” Zendaya urged and you groaned, walking with them following behind you.

The ball room was.....beautiful. Fancy tables and chairs everywhere, the special table on the other end of the room for the king and queen.

The room was filled, cheers and glasses clanking, laughs leaving people lips. And then someone cleared there throat loudly, when you looked over it was your beloved mother, “the queen is here!”

She walked over, the room quiet as gasps left people lips, muttering things like “since when does y/n wear ball gowns” “she looks stunning” and things like that.

Her hand found yours and you did a small smile, letting her pull you wherever as zendaya and zac found thier table.

She pulled you to your fancy table. “Now y/n i need you to behave” “but maaaa!” “No excuses! Make everyone proud okay, i know that boy can be a handfull”

“How do i look?” He asked, running offly late. “I mean you arent trying to impress anyone-“ “you look great” tim cut harrison off, patting toms shoulder “so can we please leave”

And you sat there, bored, for once in your life time crossing a leg over the other and helping yourself with cherries while tom watched from afar, his mother walking him over.

“You look wonderful y/n, both of you do” she smiled, rubbing toms shoulder and looking at you. “Thank you ms. Holland”

“Please- call me niki. Were gonna be a family after all” she said, making tom roll his eyes and bite his lip, looking away then looking back. “Yeah we are” you smiled and like that it was only you two.

“I dont like you” “and what makes you think i do?” You questioned, raising an eyebrow while he crossed his arms “the least you can do is act like a gentleman, as far as anyone knows we are happy together” you said making him nod, sitting up and clearing his throat.

“Sooo.....wife” you cringed at his words but let him continue “how are we gonna do this?” You only shrugged “we can sleep in separate rooms or something” “sounds like a plan” he genuinely smiled at you, handing you another cherry as you squinted your eyes at him.

“I dont know if you poisoned this” you flicked it back at him, making him let out a small gasp before throwing it back “you arent worth my time, i would waste a dime trying to kill you” “i dont know if i should take that as a complement or not” your eyebrows furrowed and he sighed, looking away from you.

“You know, i dont know why they have such a problem with each other” harrison said to tim, currently at their own table, throwing grapes at one another and cracking jokes. “I dont think we’ll ever find out” he said in response, eating one of the grapes.

AnD iT WAs TiMe TO daNCE

The strong piano played, filling the halls as everyone watched you and tom.

You both maintained eye contact, his hand tight on the side of your waist as yours was tight on his shoulder, squeezing each others hand that was shared in each others.

“Im never doing this again” he whispered, basically nose to nose with you. “Do you think i want to?” You rolled your eyes. “I dont care if you want to! I just know im not doing this”

“Well grea-“ he dipped you and you almost gasped, frightened making tom silently chuckle before lifting you back up, now chest to chest.

“Your a fuck-face” you muttered. “You love it” he shrugged, “why are we doing this anyway”

“I dont know, why do you hate me?” He asked making your jaw drop. “Why do you hate me?!” You aggressively whispered.

“They look happy” zendaya said, zac, haz and tim all circled around the same table as they watched intently “ehhh” they all let out at the same time, in their own bubble, tim leaning back in the chair and Harrison slump with his legs open, zac resting his face on his knuckles as he silently blowed spit bubbles.

“I hate you because you hate me!” “I only hated you because you hated me!” “Bullshitttt” he bit his lip and you aggressively stomped on his foot with the edge of your heel.

He let out a small whimper and a fuck you making you have a smile on your face. “Dont cuss at me” “im pretty sure my foot is bleeding, fart face” “shut up” “but you literally called me a fuck face!”

“Shush!” He still whimpered in pain when he moved, “im sorry” you said, feeling guilty. He did a small smile “that isnt gonna make my foot better is it?”

“Well what the fuck do you want me to do! Kiss it?” “That wouldn’t be so bad” you groaned and looked away from him, to keep yourself from looking at him you easily pressed your head on his chest, making his breath hitch and his heart spead up, the piano relaxing a bit so you both moved slowly.

“Awwww” everyone said together making tom blush hard, your arms came up to circle his neck while his silently made its way to your waist. “Y/n why are you doing this?” He asked, whispering in your ear as you let out a small “i dont know”

“Well- can you n-not?" “Not what thomas?” “Be all bubbly with me!” You looked up at him with your eyebrow raised “im not being bubbly”

“Yes you are!” You sighed in response “but dont you feel better! Not everything has to be so negative” “well this is bluntly awkward” “well then stop making it awkward!”

“Yeah they are in love with each other” zac said, everyones eyebrows furrowed as they looked at you both, a different look and vibe coming from the both of you.

The piano slowly ended, you and tom panicked.

“Kiss me!” He ordered. “Why would i do that! We barely even get along!” “As far as they know we are a happy cuddle” he mocked your voice. “Im still not kissing you” “if you dont kiss me im gonna kiss you”

“Fine-“ “hurry up!” “You sound loke you really wanna kiss-“ before you could finish he pressed his lips on yours, his hand pulling you closer as his other hand came up to the side of your face, and SUPRISE you fucking kissed back!

Although you both you never would never admit it, you both loved the kiss.

Your lips where soft and to your suprise his lips werent chapped, his hands were gentle on your face as you also pulled him closer, your arms still circled around his neck.

Everyone at the tables jaw dropped, zendayas more but that didnt change the subject that you both kissed, and it looked like you both were gonna sit like that till end of time.

“No fucking way” haz muttered, looking at everyone else’s expressions and they were the same.

An audible noise came when you both pulled away. “That- that uh....wasnt s-so bad” he did a small awkward chuckle. “Yeah.... i uhhhhh”

“Uhhh” you both looked away from each other before tom pulled you back to your private table.

“Im still shocked” tim said, everyone agreeing as everyone else clapped for them. “So they just decided to love each other” zac shrugged, “yeah something like that”

After that whole thing was done, daya, tim, haz, and zac locked you all in toms bedroom for questions. “What is this about?” You asked, taking off your heels and getting undressed infront of everyone.

“You and tom” his eyebrows furrowed as he started to get undressed himself. “What about it?”

“Uhhh helllooo! Are we gonna act like that fucking kiss DIDNT happen?” Daya waved her hand in the air, before crossing her arms. You and tom silently looked at each other “it was his fault”

He smacked his lips and threw himself on his bed, throwing a tantrum, kicking air. “I thought we werent gonna tell anyone!”

“So you admit it!” Haz said, a wide smile on his face as he clapped his hands. “Zendaya the corset please” you said, she came over and undid it for you. “Can i have a shirt please?” You asked, looking back at tom and he nodded getting up, searching through his drawer.

“SINCE WHEN WERE YOU BOTH BUDDY BUDDY?” Tim said, and tom shrugged “I guess we just feel differently about each other”

“And it was because of that kiss wasn’t it?” Zac smiled while daya had a childish look on her face. “It’s happening! Give me my money!”

“You guys betted on us?” You asked, thanking tom when he handed you a shirt. “Wait wait wait wait, what the actual fuck. What in the fucks is going in here because this is confusing!” Haz said, getting a headache “i swear if that kiss never happened they would be ripping each others head off”

“Zendaya more loose please!” You said and she eyed you, “help her tom” she said, crossing her arms. “Uhhh...okay” he shrugged, walking over to loosen it more.

“HUH?” Everyone shouted, watching as he loosened it and then made you turn around to loosen the front. “Somethings not clicking-“ “no because this isnt adding up”

You put the shirt over your head and pulled the corset off of you under your shirt, he helped with the hoop skirt since you already took off the actual skirt.

“Im really confused” zac said, sighing as everyone who betted gave zendaya 100 bucks, including him.

“We all are, zac” tim muttered, crossing his arms as he watched you both communicate. “Tom when your done lets talk!”

And timothee and tom went outside of the room, tom leaning against the wall as he waited for him to speak. “Youre only doing this because we said something about her, right?”

“I dont know what you’re talking about, timothee” “yes you do. Youre only doing this because you know i have feelings for her” “I actually didnt know that but okay”

“Yes the fuck you did” tim pushed him, toms eyebrows furrowed as he pushed him back. “No i didnt” tim pushed him to the floor, a large thud heard making you all whip your heads to the door, hearing a punch made you walk slowly to the door.

“You knew i had feelings for her and you took her away from me, you dont even like her!” “What?” You whispered, looking over at zendaya before they all rushed to the door, ear hustling.

Tom tackled him to the ground, aggressive punches thrown at his face until tim rolled both of them over, now his turn. “I hate you! You were never there for her! Made her mad- sad- and everything that she doesnt fucking deserve!”

You decided it was time to come out, opening the door and telling them both to stop, Zac pulling tim off of tom and Harrison holding tom back.

Tom sent daggers at tim while tom did the same. “And now she likes you. Ive been working so fucking hard to win over her heart but you- you have to ruin everything” tim finished, pushing zac off of him before turning to you.

“I hope youre happy” he scoffed and walked passed, flipping tom off. “Wait!” You said, chasing after tim while tom looked back, jaw clenched as he watched you run off.

“Y/n leave me alone” “i just want to talk” you caught up to him, both of you power walking. “I never knew you had feelings for me timothee! If you would’ve told me sooner I would’ve never done the thing i did today” you said, looking at him while he still looked ahead, before he looked at you.

“Im not mad at you y/n. He-he knew that i had feelings for you and he took advantage of it, i-i” he sighed and you pulled him into a hug, “im sorry”

I dead ass dont know if i should do a part 2 or not. THIS IS WHY I SAID I WANTED TO MAKE A SERIES- IM SO MAD AT MYSELF-

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x black!reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland au #tom holland blurb #timothee x reader

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ain-t-bovvered · 5 years ago

Text

15X12 Commentary

Bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

@smol-and-grumpy (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon (Kat)

@waywardbaby (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered (Giulia)

Nat: welp i guess we'll start?

Giulia: Ye

Zee: I know we’re not ready but yes

Nat: count as usual?

Giulia: U r the only one ready snort

Zee: Shush I’m faking it

Nat: 3

Nat: 2

Nat: 1

Nat: go

Zee: The recap

Giulia: Already hate it

Giulia: ...kaia

Giulia: Ok but i loved dean shout there

Giulia: But i also don t give a fuck about kaia

Nat: i could make a list of people i don't give a fuck about

Giulia: Why the empty has a dick

Nat: earth 2

Giulia: Look how much-waisted air time

Nat: this better go somewhere

Zee: What is he on?

Giulia: Oh look das me every time a clerk looks too clingy

Zee: President Hillary Clinton

Giulia: Nice

Giulia: Radio shed ads look like mediaworld *winks in italian*

Zee: Can he shut up?

Giulia: Nerd

Giulia: Oh and another nerd

Nat: weird that on every earth people are still dumb as fuck

Giulia: The World

Zee: Oh no

Giulia: Yeah that looks my kinda world

Giulia: Aaah beard dean

Zee: Other toys

Nat: He can't even make a world that's gonna function

Giulia: I can get what I want from a hundred worlds

Giulia: What she said

God/ ME A DESTIEL SHIPPER ABOUT DESTIEL ENDGAME: Dean says I'm not gonna get the ending I want. And I don't know. Maybe... I...I mean, that shouldn't matter, right? I've gotten what I want from hundred of Sams and Deans. I could get what I want from a hundred more. And I don't care.

Nat: you can see the green screen. I mean him standing before one

Giulia: Amazing

Zee: Clear the board

Giulia: Can he clean this one too. I think he’s already doing it

Nat: our world

Nat: how do you know. still, he doesn't take out the dumb

Zee: Vegan

Giulia: ...vegan lasagna *cringes in Italian*

Giulia: Because he feels for them. Between similars u no

Giulia: Aah veins

Zee: I still don’t like it

Giulia: Ah so we are actually where we left off. I can tell u where my head is

Zee: I can tell you where I want his head to be

Giulia: Ooooh nice

Giulia: Look at Jack hair tho

Giulia: BABE

Nat: "I HAVE SPEND TIME WITH HER" *wink wink nudge nudge*

Giulia: 50k

Giulia: Scythe kink

Nat: ouch

Zee: FOCUS

Giulia: Bottom Dean

Nat: on what? dildo scythe?

Giulia: Please comment and reblog

Giulia: Hey

Giulia: No OnE

Zee: Is jack chubbier?

Giulia: Don t talk to my son like this

Zee: Sam should stop doing that thing with his face

Nat: He's just older

Giulia: I can count his gray hair

Giulia: ...

Giulia: AAAAAAAAH beautiful

Zee: How domestic

Giulia: Babe

Zee: Look at that little smile

Giulia: SO CUTE

Giulia: thank you for a small bubble of happiness. That shook my soul a bit

Zee: They seem a little happy. I’m scared. Oh there it is

Giulia: That’s a fancy-ass whiskey bottle. I want it

Zee: Kaia came looking for the spear

Giulia: Cute where is cas

Zee: Babysitting

Giulia: Of course she kicks their asses

Giulia: I wanna choke him too

Nat: they can't even fight one small girl. they're getting old

Zee: Can he get any deeper?

Giulia: What she said

Zee: THE VOIVE I MEAN

Giulia: Oh come on HOW CONVENIENT

Giulia: they pulled a Mary Winchester

Zee: Snort

Nat: i don't know what to think about all this

Giulia: Oh looks it’s us after the coronavirus. Eating lizards

Nat: I mean

Giulia: I just watch

Nat: I would eat it 🤷🏻‍♀

Zee: Dean said not tasted kinda decent

Nat: do I have to

Zee: YES

Giulia: SNORT

Zee: SEE? Babysitting

Giulia: ...listen….How in the hell...War Strategist angel of the lord cas loses at force 4. Fuck off

Giulia: Always makeup on point

Giulia: Not Kaia not helping

Nat: oh I see jody had time for lash extensions

Giulia: She must not be in quarantine

Giulia: ...La piegatrice mondiale. What a horrible translation

Giulia: Oh dean has nice hair. I wanna pull it

Zee: This is going so well

Giulia: Look at cas hair

Nat: He always goes like "Cas-tee-el"

Giulia: Tee-el

Zee: Are you only looking at hair?

Giulia: Cas sounds so done

Zee: But so good

Giulia: WHAT A SOFT LOOK I HATE IT DON T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT

Giulia: A bit of a smokey eye on Kaia, What she used? Burned sticks? charcoal? Burned lizard’s tails?

Zee: Is it me or Jody looks older and Cas looks younger?

Nat: sorry but not Kaia can go fuck herself

Giulia: WHATEVER

Nat: so much airtime

Giulia: WASTED

Giulia: ...Shouldn’t he be strong af

Nat: I hate that the female's make up is always on point.

Zee: He’s gonna do something stupid

Giulia: Definition of a Winchester

Giulia: What a dad tone

Nat: I like Merl. Merl is me

Giulia: HEEEEY

Giulia: AHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Giulia: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Nat: Winchester dumb

Zee: Winchester dumb

Giulia: what a mood

Nat: she's my fave character

Giulia: I love her

Nat: i want her in all the ep

Giulia: I stan her

Nat: give her more air time

Giulia: She’s the smartest in the room

Giulia: What a sassy reaper. Like my fav sassy demon

Giulia: I love how the Winchesters are there watching, being all: yup, that’s our dumb kid

Nat: Winchester stupid

Zee: They know she’s right

Giulia: DONT BORROW MY ANGEL LIKE A BATTERY

Zee: Dead angel walking

Nat: I seriously thought Cas holds out the cup he ejaculated in like in a sperm bank

Giulia: Can I unread this

Nat: No u can't, that's what happens when I’m in lockdown

Giulia: Look at that cutie with his cute backpack

Nat: boy scout dean

Zee: Sam’s smirk

Giulia: Babysitting again

Giulia: BS angel chivalry

Giulia: SHE’S SO DONE

Giulia: love it

Nat: she should have said "in your own time"

Giulia: Me and you have all eternity, they don’t

Giulia: ...wasting seconds of intense glares

Giulia: Oh look the gremlins again

Giulia: The last healthy Italians vs the infected ones

Giulia: Last Toilet paper’s rolls and dumb scared people

Nat: snorts

Zee: You’re on a roll

Giulia: Dean eyelashes are fluttering in the wind. Sam needs a hair elastic

Nat: I wish something else would flutter in the wind

Giulia: my fucks

Zee: Hey kid

Giulia: WHY ARE THEY HUGGING

Zee: It’s before corona

Nat: I thought they didn't like each other that much

Giulia: Exactly. They have like 0 relationship, I don’t understand

Nat: It's weird.

Nat: if she should hug someone it should be sam. but what do I know

Zee: Have y’all understood the point of all this? Cause I haven’t

Giulia: Literally none

Nat: I’m bothered by all the other things

Giulia: She had time to do her eyelashes

Nat: so we did literally waste an ep with getting Kaia back, like for real? I watched this?

Giulia: ...AH

Nat: you know the last season could have been so fucking good

Zee: Wtf?

Giulia: K

Nat: ah

Zee: She found out

Giulia: What a meme

Giulia: Billy: last season

The reaper: my joy

Giulia: Death is angry

Zee: I was busy In Italy

Giulia: Oh wow

Nat: Merl had one job

Giulia: The writers had one job

Nat: Billy is us because she has no patience in them wasting an ep freeing Kaia

Giulia: Then u killed me

Giulia: Smoulder time

Giulia: Aaaah a baby

Zee: What?

Nat: Meh

Giulia: Why

Nat: God's destruction is Jack

Giulia: Another meme

Giulia: Writers

Giulia: Us asking if season15 will be amazing

Nat: right

Giulia: Go watch the promo

Nat: is that a fiat

Giulia: That’s a 500, my old car snort

Nat: Are they gay antiques, dealers

Zee: Apart from the reaper everything else was pretty lame. We waited almost two months for that?

Giulia: We went through corona for that

Nat: they look like gay antique dealers. especially being outraged when Sam has to lose the man bun

Giulia: With their cardigans and shit

Giulia: We should all live together. Yikes. They gonna die

Nat: they would scream

Giulia: High pitched

Zee: Tf did I just watch ? Loved deans bracelets tho

Giulia: They’re Jensen’s . Probably

Giulia: Oh maybe they are sam and dean that grew up as men of letters

Zee: Gay men of letters

Giulia: Can they get hot and bothered by Castiel?

Zee: Maybe not both of them

Giulia: Nah Nah both

Zee: Will the angel be gay too?

Giulia: There will be no angel probably. Also, Angels are probably sexless so who cares.

Kat: Y’all finished?

Giulia: Yup

Zee: Yes

Kat: And?

Giulia: WHERE IS THE FLAVOUR

Zee: LLLAAAAMMMEEE

Nat: I wasted my time

Kat: Yeah. Who gives a flying fuck about Kaia. Literally no one

Giulia: guess they are tying the loose ends

Kat: No one has thought about her in 2 years, she was a dead end

Giulia: Idk what the point was

Kat: Idk to have Jack use his powers for some reason? Surely they could have found something better

Giulia: Idk man. Between this fucking virus and jib and life and this writing, I’m very much blegh. I mean I love my boys. But

Zee: Let’s just hope they give them a decent ending and not something so lame that it will ruin everything

Nat: You love them and you want the best for them. not half-assed writing

Giulia: Yeah

Nat: lol what show have you been watching the last season

Kat: Yeah. It’ll be ruined. I have no hope of anything else

Nat: I don't have much hope but also that will maybe make me feel better when it's not as bad as I think it will be

Zee: I know but I can’t let it drag me down

Giulia: Yup

If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @wayward-angelgirl @destiel-honeypie @mariekoukie6661 @dragontamerm @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee2 @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc @dammitsammy @legendary-destiel @winchesterprincessbride @destielhoneybee @castiellover20 @ravenhg @evvvissticante @emoryhemsworth @markofdean79 @janndishsstuff

#supernatural 15x12 #15x12 galaxy brain #spn 15x12 #Episode commentary #SUPERNATURAL COMMENTARY #spn commentary #15x12 commentary #spn gifs #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #castiel

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wakandascrystal · 5 years ago

Text

ᴅɪꜱᴛʀᴇꜱꜱ

Summary: Erik never lets you in. You try to be patient but it becomes too late when you fall for him.

Angst and smut themes

…….

It was a Wednesday evening and Erik just got home. The apartment smelled like your cooking and he loved it. He was getting out of his work clothes upstairs and getting ready for dinner.

“What you got cooking ?“ He hugged you from the back; engulfing your body and placing a light kiss on your neck.

“I’m making chicken curry“ You scoped up a bit of the soup and turned to feed him.

“Taste.“ He opened his mouth and accepted the warm and spicy contents. He gave you another kiss confirming your amazing cooking skills.

“You stay put your foot in these meals your cooking.“

“What can I say my mom raised a bad bitch.“ You turned the stove off and dished up two servings. Erik’s plate was much larger than yours. The man was a true eater. He could eat to full Macdonald’s meal and still be ready for more. His metabolism was crazy and your job was to keep it on its toes.

After dinner, you watched some tv. He sat next to you under a warm blanket as you watched an episode of a Telenovela. He loved that shit. Although he would never admit it to his boys. He was a die-hard fan.

“Look at Envo, playing Isabella. He knows that bitch don’t deserve that type of treatment. The girl just found out her half-sister and mother plotted to take out her pops. Now he fucks her best friends….“ He took a sip of his bottled water “…I don’t care how thick that bitch is man..” He whispered that last part then turned to you. You were staring into space. Your eyes fixed on nothing. You looked deep in thought.

“Baby you listening?“ You snapped out of your trance when he pulled you closer to him.

“��.mmh..yeah…yeah the …friend and sister.“ Your left eye twitched. He knew you were lying.

He smacked his lips.

“You want to try that again.“

“I’m sorry E. I’m just really drained. I think I should go lay down“

“Okay then let’s go sleep them..“

“No! Stay and watch this till it ends I don’t want to interrupt you.“ You pleaded

“Nah. It won’t be any fun watching it without you.“

And you went to bed. Your body close to his until your lids closed shut.

………………………………………

“I bet you 10k that you won’t grow your hair out. Don’t lie to yourself. You know damn well that Corporation you work at won’t let a nigga come in with nigga’s hair. Correct me if I’m wrong?“

“Look at him. He knows you right“ Erik said?

“Well, Mr my brother is a king….“

“It’s my cousin..“ Erik corrected.

That was Kookie and Titi - Erik’s childhood friends. They had come over for a little get together you and Erik were hosting. They were not alone. They had brought over their girlfriends or “situations”…at this point, you didn’t know. Their names were Kiara and Adriana, nevertheless, they were sweet girls and you welcomed them with open arms. They helped with food preparation and the making of the drinks and you started to fall in love with them.

“So you met Kookie where… Adriana ?“ You asked again with a playful tone. yall were away from the guys so you could gossip properly.

“He works with my father. I took one look at that nigga and I heard God speak to me-“ Kiara took a deep dramatic sigh “Adriana, here we go again“

“What? she did!“ Adriana said.

“She ?“ You questioned

“Yes honey God is a black woman and when I saw that 6-foot nigga in a clean-cut black suit …walking out of a meeting with my dad …I felt my walls-”

Kiana stops her from carrying on.

“That’s it! If we don’t change the subject I’m going to need something stronger than this.“ She tapped her wine glass. You let out a light laugh

“What about you how did you met Erik.“ You weren’t expecting them to ask so it caught you off guard.

“Oh …ah Yeah Erik and I met at University…but briefly. We would pass each other in the halls or whatever. Then we graduated and then next thing I heard was he was drafted, he moved up and joined some super-secret parts of the military that he can’t even tell me about to this day.- “

“Like Seal team 6 and shit “ Adriana probed

“- I’m not sure but we never even spoken to each other at that point…..to put it lightly I wasn’t exactly Eriks type.- “

“So it was one-sided. You liked him and he didn’t like you.“ Kiana added

“Well at the time yeah. Every girl on campus loved him but I heard he had a girl and she was killed by some craze White South African guy and some other super crazy shit happened in Africa ….that I still might not believe happened but we met again when he and his cousin made an outreach program centre. They reached out to me to be the resident phycologist. I talk to the kids there …just work with them. “ You hoped that mess of a story made sense to them. They didn’t care about the other stuff they just cared that you and Erik were close stranges and now you were dating.

“Yeah it’s crazy ..we talk about that all the time“

“aww, its like fate was there the whole time.“ Adriana said and Kiana cringed a bit.

later that night all 6 of you sat around the living room drinking and talking. yall talked about your love life and the people yall hated. Yall talked about the current political events and Normani’s video but you could keep eye contact with Erik when the conversation shifted to sex.

You were going through something you couldn’t tell Erik cause you were scared it would insult him. You went cumming and you knew it had nothing to do with Erik cause even alone you cumming.

It was frustrating you and you knew exactly why you weren’t finishing. You were starting to fall in love with him and you were scared.

You didn’t Know him probably. You knew a little about his past and he wasn’t really giving with the information you craved. He was very friendly and supportive but in order to have a life with him, you needed to know more about him. That was too late you had fallen…hard.

You first noticed when a bank teller was flirting with Erik and you cut her off. For those few minutes, you told her to be professional and focus on her job and proceed to kiss Erik on the cheek. Erik was surprised throughout the exchange. He didn’t know you had it in you. It was one of the most sexiest things he’s ever seen you do. He bit his lip as he saw the passion in your eyes. He planned on giving you the best dick when you got home. Oh, it was good already. The tears roll down the side of your face as he pounded you. He kept reminding you why he was fucking between his heavy breaths.

“you told ..that bitch to stop ….. playing with your man huh?” Erik’s sweat rolled down his marked body.

“you don’t want to share this dick…huh…it’s all your and you’re taking it so well….yes this is your baby …take this dick..”

His words were turning you on but when it was time for your climax you heart just sunk. It was a strange emotion. You felt scared and sad but it lasted for a few seconds then Erik fall on you.

“baby, did you cum?” He moaned out

You didn’t know what to say. You had never not cum with Erik ..he knew your body well.

“yes… I did.” You lied. You were glad he couldn’t see your twitching eye. You let him sleep on you, between your legs. Usually, you didn’t because he was heavy but you thought it was a way to apologize for lying to him. You gently rubbed his back.

And after that night it has been the same until now. Erik called out to you asking if you alright. You lied

“Me? Yes. I’m good.” Your eye twitched.

That worried him.

“I have said this before and I’ll say it again !!! Length doesn’t matter!” Adriana said with her forth wine glass in the air.

Erik and titi let out laughs. They hit it over as they rolled laughing.

“You just saying that cause of what kookie got packing …don’t let him fool you.”

Kookie quickly came to his defence.

“man fuck y'all. Except for you baby”, he pointed to Adriana.

“ My dick is above average. It gets the job done. Period! Some of y'all with the long-ass dicks be leaving y'all shorties unsatisfied…y'all monster dicks be leaving her having to take care of her own shit when you knocked out in the bed.”

Once the sentences registered in your head. You involuntarily choked on your wine. It sprung straight onto your white carpet y'all were sitting on, in the living room. You coughed out wine that had made its way down your body.

Everyone rushed to help except Erik. Adriana took the glass from you while Titi sat you up.

“Girl, you good?”

You sat up while you told him you were fine.

“I’ll be in the bathroom to clean myself up.” You stood up and left

Erik’s jaw locked as he quickly follows behind you.

He opened the bathroom door after you just closed it.

“Jesus! Erik dont scare me like that.” You took off your top that was stained by the wine. Just in your bra, Erik stared you down.

“you want to tell me what’s got you acting like this .”

“Erik what are you talking about…can you get me the washing powder in there.”

He slowly reached for the cupboard and took out the washing powder.

“thank you.” You said sarcastically

“Are you pregnant?” Erik asked

“No, I’m not pregnant Erik. Are you high? You think I would drink wine if I was carrying a child.” You asked playfully

He quickly kissed his lips.

“So why you acting like there’s something I need to know…that you don’t want me too.”

“Erik.. are you done with your…little psychoanalysis you throwing on me!“ You started to get irritated you wanted him to leave you alone so you could process your own feelings.

“Are you done lying to me.-“ You turned to him slowly

“Lying!! I’m lying to you!! Oh, I want to hear this!“ you folded your arms and leaned against the working washing machine. The anger came from nowhere but it was very evident and Erik noticed it.

“Yeah you acting strange ass fuck and I-“ You cut him off

“And you what Erik!“ You were pretty sure your guests knew by now that there was a fight in the bathroom.

“What makes you think you have the right to fucking question me when I know nothing about you.“ The penny finally drops for Erik. He knew there was no way you could be this angry for no reason. His secrecy was finally catching up with him. He didn’t know it but it was messing you up. Driving you crazy.

“….Nothing to say. Mr I don’t like talking about my past. Mr Are you writing a book about me. Erik, you disappear for days or weeks at a time, and come back acting like it’s no big deal …..and when I ask you where the hell did go for so long….you always spin it and somehow blame me.“

“Yoh..Y/N …look chill out.“

“I can’t!! I want to But I fucken can’t because I’m in love with your thick-headed ass. I have reached a point where being without you would be a problem. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ERIK! THE THOUGHT OF BEING WITHOUT YOU BRINGS PAIN AND UNSPEAKABLE SORROW TO MY HEART…….yet I know nothing about you…we might as well be strangers. To be honest I don’t even know what we are. ”

He stood still not saying a word.

“This shit has been affecting me like crazy. My hormones are all over the place. It’s been months since I could…could cum. It’s all I think about. Do get me wrong. Your cute and fun to have around but that’s not what I need to form a partner. “

“….since the second we started hooking up….you never let me in and I was cool with that back then because …oh you know…you can’t trust these female right…..I’ve been patient Erik….and stupid it seems……“ He stood opposite. He was defeated and he didn’t know what to say. He had no idea how you felt.

“…While you out here …figuring shit out and building this wall you have up that I have to work so hard to climb over to reach you ….ill go lay down. I’m tired Erik.”

He knew the lost part didn’t mean you were tired for having a long day…he knew that maybe it was time he let you in and stopped keeping you at arm’s length.

You left him alone in the bathroom, heading upstairs. You heard a lot of shuffling from the living room but you honestly didn’t care if they were listing or not. You were heartbroken. Nothing mattered.

“Ay Erik …my man. We out. We see you and your girl got things to talk about…so will be out of your hair” Titi shouted before they rushed out the front door.

Back in your shared bedroom you took your PJs, phone and night creams and heading for the guest room. There was no way you could sleep with Erik tonight. You were mad and disappointed. All that time you had wasted. Lost investment. You needed time alone. Time to think about your next step. Maybe moving out and starting fresh. It would be hard but what else can you do. It dawned on you that you spent more time at his house then she did. That’s why you locked the door. Just for tonight, you wanted to sit in your sorrow.

#erik #erik x reader #erik imagine #Erik Killmonger #black panther killmonger #Erik killmonger x Reader #erik x blackreader #erik killmonger fic

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throwing-summers-at-the-walls · 4 years ago

Note

Hi, i hope you are feeling good! Im better than yesterday so i can finally answer you. First of all: i am so happy that you shared your fanfiction! i had a great time reading it! Im always open for more recs. Maybe your all time favorites? Or if you know some good h/c these are always welcome :) And YESSS please send me a link to your fanvids. -- yeah 13rw was super cursed. haha i also watched season 1 but thankfully i was able to sto watching becaue i could feel it making me feel bad (1)

I agree the suicide scene was just cringe (but i think i remember reading somewhere that they cut it out? idk) and overall this show just gave me the feeling that there was no hope and things are always getting worse instead of better and i hated that. but enough of that cursed show. can i just say i really admire how open you are about your feelings (like being suicidal and that) i realy, really admire this about you. i have so much respect for you that you can just share your feelings here (2)

I have never heard of ace attorney but that story you described sounds really good. and i get reading sth that isnt good for you and still doing it (because im a dumb bitch too :D) -- okay i might accept that Root will never grow on you (but i thought so too and look at me now :D) but i havent fully given up yet :)-- yes thats the girl. i think it was really sweet when she said that to Shaw. and i think Shaw appreciated it that someone tried to figure her out instead of just writting her off (3)

Shaw is really cool and definately also a badass and in combination with John its just great! but you will have to suffer trough some Shoot. but maybe, maybe you will end up not hating Root. hope dies last (idk how the saying goes in english, sorry). -- Did you ever ship Caresse (in a romantic way)? cause sometimes i do and sometimes i dont and i get so confused about it :) but i think most of the time i like them more as friends. anyway her death really sucked and you are right with (4)

her death and them losing the library it felt like a different show (i mean i guess it was a different show then). i kinda get your feelings about the destroyed library because i also really loved it (and im really bad with change) but i dont think it affected me as much as you. but yeah i still missed the library very much. and while the subway is a really cool new place its not the same. (also the subway is super dark cause its underground and idk it just makes the whole thing less homey) (5)

Yes he is everything! such a great, interesting character and i wish there were more John-centric episodes! (like ones that explored his character more). that was one of my biggest dislikes of the later seasons that John wasnt featured as much anymore. i think he chuckled a few times in the show but a real laugh? i cant remember one :( -- He did promise Joss to talk to Tyler so @show were is that talk? -- if seen the vid its awesome! thehiddenmemory has some great poi vids! (6)

yes i think so too. Like Grace would probably be relived and thankful that Harold is still alive and maybe they would even try again but eventually she would figure out that she cant trust him after lying to him for so long or sth like that and Harold would ofc realize that he is in love with someone else now. And then he finds out that John is still alive but stayed away cause he didnt want to get in the way of Harold/Grace. But then Harold comes back. And when they meet again John is like (7)

you came back for the machine? what about Grace. But Harold tells him he came back for John not the machine and then they kiss and have a happy live with Bear (sorry i got a little carried away here :D). -- Yeah Zoe is really hot and she needed more screen time! -- i hope you have a good day and i hope i havent messed up the numbers on the asks! :)

Hi ! I'm finally free from the resits, I hope you're doing okay with your thesis 💛

Sorry for replying late, there was the exam resits, and I read a bunch of fics, then I fell into pokémon and started bingewatching it. (Also I had a breakdown during therapy today so I'm gonna finish writing my answer to distract myself - it's been sitting in my drafts for so long rip)

Thank you !! It was a very personal thing, I'm really happy you liked it !! Your support and your comment made me thrive 💛💛

Tbh I was surprised to see it get kudos given that the only intended audience was my self projecting ass 🤣

So, my fav fics (my fav fic ever is in French, rip to y'all bc it's so good):

I am, I am, I am by RavenWhitecastle

Actually check the entire series this work belongs to: The Sinner and the Saint. I haven't finished it yet but I love it (I just skipped the explicit fics bc I don't like smut or sub!John)

Breaking All The Rules by talkingtothesky

Outsider Perspective by Neery

A Really Private Person by astolat

Hamartia (the hero's fatal flaw) by astolat

If Only for Tonight by spacemutineer

From Here, Where? by AKMars

Stroll by TheaNishimori

and the world was gone by lunarcorvid

a light that never goes out by vindicatedtruth

Limitations. by Michaelssw0rd

Reel you in and spit you out by Michaelssw0rd

All I Want For Christmas Is You by richmahogany

By What Power I Am Made Bold by brinnanza

Aftershocks by darringtons

At Certain Hours It All Breaks Down by nogoaway

construction of a kingdom by the_ragnarok

You Take Me Higher Than I've Gone by talkingtothesky

All Together Now by beadedslipper

I'll Let the Waters Still by brinnanza

Birthday Tradition by talkingtothesky

Things My Father Taught Me by KRyn

Truth is in the Eye of the Beholder by infiniteeight

Better Luck This Time by Lisztful

Motivations by JenNova

What's On the Table by cortue

In Another Life by Della19

I Thought We Already Were by talkingtothesky

Misunderstandings by thisstarvingartist

This is already fucking long omg so for the h/c: my bookmarks filtered with Rinch and h/c

Here's my playlist, it's mostly Rinch, but there are a few not Rinch vids, plus some scenes I like

This is long enough already, so it's time for a read more. Also, warning, we be talking about suicide

The portrayal of suicide is cringe most of the time anyway. If my suicidal ass can find a list of suicide methods and their lethality in 2 mins on Google you'd think writers who are supposed to do some research would be able to find them too but no they're like "ah yes slicing wrists" even though it's literally the shittiest method 🙄 (I just don't understand why slicing wrists seems to be such a popular method in the collective imagination ? It's weird.) At least in 13rw she took aspirin and cut herself vertically instead of horizontally but still, no hesitation wounds, and she dies even though she only got 4 wounds iirc ? I know more about jumping off bridges than slicing wrists, but it kinda sounds like bullshit to me. Also Netflix once suggested "beyond the reasons" to me, it's a sort of discussion with the cast and crew of 13rw and the only thing I remember is a moment of intellectual masturbation abt how they "opened a discussion abt suicide" 😬😬😬

They may have cut it out it's not impossible, idk I didn't hear about it, but it's not like I look for info about this dumpster fire lol. Maybe they faced backlash ? Wouldn't be surprised given how shit the show was. And yeah it has a hopeless vibe, I mean that's how it be when you're suicidal, but I didn't like it either.

You're sweet 💜💜 it's interesting that you find it respectable or admirable, I don't have an external point of view, so I'm just like 🤷 it is what it is. I understand where you're coming from though, I guess it's still quite a taboo subject, and suicidal people don't always feel comfortable talking about it, so me throwing around that I jumped off a bridge must be surprising. I'm detached enough from my suicide attempt that I'm able to talk about it without much of a problem, and I'm not really suicidal anymore.

Dumb bitches unite 👏👏👏 we be out there reading shit we shouldn't read

Yeah I think it's nice how the show didn't portray Shaw as a bad person for not having "normal feelings". Well, hope makes one live as we say in French (idk the English saying either lol) but don't hold much hope about me liking Root lmao

I used to ship careese bc they kissed in the crossing, but then I read some Rinch fics and I just ended up falling into it to the point where I stopped caring about careese. Now I think their relationship works better as a friendship.

Yeah all that change really puts me off... It just gives me "bad spin-off" vibes. Especially since there is less John :( and less Rinch :((((

Lmao yeah I just have a lot of feelings about early poi hgkfglrk. Also :/ I'm sad about the subway being less homey pls I just want happiness ?? I swear this show destroys my heart on top of owning my last braincell (brb changing my blog title to this lmao)

Mood I need all the John-centric eps, give me m o r e characterization and development and backstory and feelings hhhhhhh. I love him so much I just wanna spend more time with him. And that's what fics are for ! Yeah thehiddenmemory is so talented ! Astolat made some good ones too, on top of writing really good fics ! (Our fandom has been blessed with the presence of one of the ao3 founders hell yeah)

Also, remember how we talked abt the poi subreddit ? The other day I left a comment on there, wild I know. It wasn't a discussion about the last seasons though, I'm not crazy, it was about the impact poi had in our lives so I said it literally taught me English. Who knows maybe sometimes I'll comment again lol. I just don't wanna meet one of those people who prefer late poi over early poi.

Allow me to uuuuh write something based on what you said. Don't ask me how John survived with no major injuries, my man got that Thick Plot Armor alright. Hope you appreciate me getting carried away sjdkdksk it's kinda rushed and the first part isn't that good bc idk how to write Grace I'm just here for that sweet sweet Rinch stuff

Harold is eating breakfast with Grace in her kitchen – he can't think of her home as his home – when his phone vibrates. It's a text from the machine. It's a surprise, she barely contacted him since... He blocks the thoughts and the images coming to his mind. The machine sent him a picture. When he opens it, his heart misses a beat. Right here on his screen is a silhouette he thought he would never see again. His phone vibrates again. Another picture, this time it's unmistakably John, wearing his signature suit, Bear next to him. Transfixed, he stares at his phone until he feels Grace gently touching his arm. She goes straight to the point.

"Is it John ?" He looks up in confusion, but before he can say anything, she adds, "I hear you call him in your sleep every night."

"It's him, yes." He doesn't want to explain. He only wants to see John, to touch him, to tell him how much he loves him.

"You should go back to him. I like you, Harold. I am deeply relieved to see you alive. But I've been thinking, and... It's not working. This, us... You aren't really the man I fell in love with, the man I grieved... I can't trust you anymore." She doesn't say 'You lied to me' but Harold hears it all the same.

Harold sits on their bench. The machine indicated John often comes here. Soon enough, his arms are full of Bear, and John is standing in front of him.

"John. How are you ?" he asks when Bear finally calms down.

"Busy. And you ?"

Harold eyes him suspiciously – John once said he was busy when he was bleeding and way too close to death – but he seems to be well.

"I'm fine." He doesn't have time for awkward small talk." I thought you were dead. Why didn't you contact me ?"

"The machine told me you were with Grace. I thought you wanted to come back to your previous life. I didn't want to crash into it and ruin what you had."

Harold wants to be angry at him, but he understands. He did the same with Grace.

"You would never ruin anything. Besides, my relationship with Grace... didn't survive my lies. She's very dear to my heart, but she's a part of my previous life, as you said."

"So you came back for the machine, and the numbers, like the good old times ?"

Harold gets up from the bench.

"I came back for you. You are an important part of my life. The most important part."

John smiles, finally. He takes a step towards Harold, they're so close they could kiss. Harold reaches out, grips his shirt and slowly inches closer. He's still afraid of being rejected but John wraps his arm around him and kisses him. The kiss is over too soon. John's smile is even wider when they part.

"You're the most important part of my life too," he says before kissing Harold again. "You will stay ?"

"Always."

Damn I live for sappy Rinch stuff.

Bitches decided that Harold saying "always" is peak Rinch. It's me I'm bitches.

Also ofc I had to make a reference to number crunch, who do you think I am

Anyway. I hope you have a good day ! 💛

#half valid anon

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cutesybatsimagines · 5 years ago

Text

Bruce Wayne’s Newest Purchase

Bruce Wayne x reader``~

(Y/N) struggled out of bed, her feet caught in the sheets as she tried to stand up. She went over to her large vanity and peered into her reflection. Her hair was up in a messy bun, and her make up was just slighty smeered from sleeping in it.

“(Y/N)!!” she heard her mother yell, “Pack all your shit and get down here right now!”

(Y/N) cringed, knowing her mother sounded really pissed. She slipped on her converse high tops, some black skinny jeans with wholes over the knees, and a Fall Out Boy t-shirt~ It didnt take long to pack all her belongings as (Y/N)’s room was only 3 ft by 3 ft and most of it was just her vanity.

Making her way downstairs to her mom, she sighed wondering what was happening now.

“there you are you idiot, dumb cuck, feces-gargling, good for nothing, sack of human waste. I’ve been waiting! I have some great news- for me at least. I’ve been trying to ind a way to get rid of your useless ass- I mean c’mon you’re 21 and still living with your parents? disgusting. So anyways-”

Y/n had begun gently sobbing during her mothers rant, but stopped when she heard the knock at the door.

Y/N went to answer the door, pulling it open and gasping in shock. It was an old man!

“Hello sir, I’m here to pick up Miss Y/N.” he greeted, lifting his hand for a shake.

Y/N shook his hand, gasping, “oh my god, I’m Miss Y/N?! Why do you want to see me!??”

You heard your mother behind you, laughing into your ear. “This is the surprise! I’ve sold ypu to Bruce Wayne!”

The old man nodded, “I am his butler Alfred Pennyworth, it’s a pleasereef to meet you, Miss Y/N”

Your mouth was hanging open. You couldn’t believe your ears or eyes or touch our smell, though you did believe in the taste. Bruce Wayne owns you!?! Why would Bruce Wayne want you?!

“Why would Bruce Wayne want you?! I mean me?!”

Alfred looked a little smug and yet somehow emotionless, “I’m unsure myself. Though I’m sure you’ll find the manor quite appealing and Master Wayne quite accomadating.”

Your mom shoved you out the door and past Alfred, throwing your belongings out after you. She then audibly locked the door. why is this happwning to me

Alfred sniffed in seemlingly disdain, and grabbed your luggage. “Well then, if youll follow me to the car.” You trailed helplessly after him, sniffing back tears. He opened the door for ou and you settled in, blocking out the wrold until you ended up at the manor.

The door tho to th o tho thr car opened, and you stepped out. Wayne Manor was HUGE!!! You couldnt see where it ended! Alfred grabbed your bags despite your attempts to offer help.

The door to the manor opened, and Alfred stepped in. “Well then, perhaps you should go upsatais and get changed, Master Bruce will be home for diner and im sure youd like to make a good first impression? I’ll show you to your room.”

‘so what does Bruce Wayne like in a girl?” You ask, curious as to why hed want you.

“He certainly appreciates a woman who can dress properly. We’ll be sure to take you out shopping soon.”

You look down at yourself blushing, feeling like an idiot fool whom just shat herself on the dance floor. “okay sounds good.”

He dropped you at your room, and you went in, taking off your old make up and applying a new coat. You changed clothes into something more formal- a David Bowie t-shirt- and waited on your bed. You were so scared, what could Bruce Wayne want from you?

3 hours passed and you were starving, and right as you were about to get up to go eat some toilet paper from the fancy bathroom connected to your room, Alfred came in. “Hello again, Ms. Y/N, it is time to dine, let me lead you to the eating rooom of food. “

You enedded up in a formal dining room that held a lengthy table. at one end sat three plates, two of which already had people at them.

“Whoa,” a young boy gasped, pointing his fork at you, “Is that Miss Y/N?! Golly gee, B, shes older than I thought she’d be!”

“Dick, please. Hello, mmiss y/n, I am Bruce and this is my ward Richard Grayson.” Bruce Wayne- YES THE ONE OAND onlY VRUCE WAYNE- said to you.

“I go by Dick!” Dick said

You laugh nervously, “oh wow, thats quite something. Why not a name like, oh i dont know, Ric?”

Dick gave you a funny look, “cause thats an awful name and I’m an acrobat, not a clown!”

“Please sit down, id love to discuss your role here,” Bruce told you gesturoing to the seat nect to him.

“haha oky whats up? How come you bought me? Why am I special?’ You ask, crying quietly and sexily.

“Bought you? What ever do you mean?’ Bruce asked, and Dick looked just as confused.

“My mom says she sold me to you??”

“What?! Is that why she made the price so high?” He mummbled more to himself. “I was just looking for a babysitter for m ward to help take the load off alfred’s shoulders! I as fairly perplxed when your mother said youd do it for a one time payment of $20,000 dollars but I just thought it was a new way to collect! I certainly don’t own you!”

She gaped, fiddling with the holes in your pants.

“Holy cheesse and crackers, B. this sure is ending up much wilder of a ride then we first expected, huh?”

So im not some sort of sex slav-”

“Dont say sex around little Dickie! Cover your ears, chum!” Dick covered his ears with a pout, “God no, youre not here as a prostitute. I simply wish to have you as a babysitter. Can I expect you to take care of my ward?”

Well you certainly didnt want to go home. “ywah okay.”

“Alright then,, Dick uncoer your ears. we have a dinner to finish.”

HOLY FUCK YOU WERE BRUCE WAYNES WARDS BABYSITTER!!!

#bruce wayne #bruce wayne imagine #dick grayson #batman #batman imagine #ric grayson #im having a breakdown #ive been freaking out for the past hour #the only light in my life is bruce waynes thick thighs #you guys better like this #as a true artist i created art with my pain #mod tim

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03milky · 6 years ago

Text

boyf! junkyu

▹𝙜𝙞𝙛𝙨 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚, 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙬𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙨 - to the owners, if you don’t feel comfortable with your gifs in this post, please send a message !!

confession

you and junkyu have known each other for a pretty long time

and had this really close relationship

and ofc ;)

he kinda developed feelings for you which he never expected to happen

junkyu always saw you like his best friend, almost siBling (im not trying to make this like some incest thing asksk)

it was just a plain normal day

where both of you would walk to school together

but the moment you walked out THAT door (which is just your house door)

hE saw you differently

he couldn’t describe it at all and junkyu was literally frozen which kinda confused you

“hello sir, is you there”

“HAHAHA yes, here i am. not shocked at all”

that day felt so different and he was pretty quiet

you just thought maybe he was feeling down and didn’t think much of it

ofc on the other side ;))

you, my hun have also a tiny crush on this dude

mOVING ON

when junkyu finally accepted he had a crush on you, he told his members which was kind of the bad decision

“i have something to tell you all- don’t be shocked. i was shocked as well but yeah, don’t be shocked”

“what iS IT”

“i like y/n. don’t come and attack me, i don’t know how this happened. next to that, i don’t just like them, i love them”

the kids would become hysterical which would make junkyu just stand there, awkwardly while he watches the other scream

“NO WAY I KNEW IT”

“IT HAS COME TRUE, I KNEW IT”

“NOW CONFESS DO IT MAN”

“i didn’t have courage to do this, now i need to have courage to confess to y/n?”

“oF COURSE”

the days followed and it was quiet whenever you were around

with a few giggles then and now

it was very confusing since you’ve known them for a while and they were never quiet unless there was something on

you ofc asked bc the silence was bothering you and making it awkward between all of you

“okay, guys. what’s going on. are you planning to attack someone or??”

obviously- jaehyuk was sitting next to you

and gave up on keeping junkyu’s crush on you a secret

“he likes you”

making everyone in the room sCream once again

“OH MY GOD OH MY GOD”

you sat there, bright red and same goes to junkyu

he wanted to calm everyone down by sitting down next to you and confronting you

“i like you, i really apologize if you don’t feel the same way and the behaviour of the kids”

it suddenly went quiet and you were speechless for a few minutes until you said those, 4 words, that made him happier than he already was

“i like you too”

voici the start of something beautiful

dates

hMMMMMMMM

going to arcades with this cutie would be so much fun

he’d probably keep screaming to let the stress out while playing

but

iT’S FUN

“y/N NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

“i’m the winner, hah”

“you are the winner of this game but i won something bigger”

“please kyu”

“i won your love”

he might say cringy things but that won’t stop you from loving every moment of your dates

junkyu would be so adorable, he’d be holding your hand as the two of you walk

and closely listen whenever you’re talking

expect this cutie to also buy you tons of things even though you dont want him to buy it

“you deserve the tiniest things, like this, mini-stapler”

“are you-”

you’d be looking around the store and turn around to find him buying a stapler and gifting it to you

“here you go, present 4, there are a few more to come”

next to buying you random things, he’d love eating together with you

especially feeding you

“open your mouth up”

“kyu, you eat your choritos”

“no you need to eat too, you need it the most”

“alright, alright”

watching you eat would make his whole day thousands of time better

“you look so cute when you eat”

he’d be also the type of boyfriend that would make compliments on everything that you do

you would be just sitting next to him

a smile would form on his face and he’d tell you that you look too cute

“why are you so cute”

“ahhh, my heart”

“you know, i could listen to you for hours and i won’t get bored”

to wrap this whole thing up, all dates with this sunshine are filled with love <3

yall listening to euphoria and writing this makes me want to cry

hugs n kisses

le dude loves skinship

and would probably give you as much hugs as he can

hugs there n there

as u know junkyu really shows his love, when he loves a person v much

the way he treats you, it’d be ................................

very loving

i can’t even describe it

he’d be so caring, my heart aches just thinking about it

with kisses, he’d be kind of shy

and just do it when you feel comfortable, same goes to him

“you are so hugable, y/n. as soft as a teddy bear”

uwu overlOAD

“uhm so are you, kyu”

pulling away from each other would actually be pretty hard to do

since yall love each other too much

which would be probs with the help of the others

“we need wikihow”

“how to pull junkyu and y/n away”

hyunseok would literally search it up and just end up looking at both of you, helpless

“it’s something that you can’t do”

“tsk, tsk. can’t relate being so in love”

“exactly”

so everyone- you’d be hugging all day long

which is tiring

but

that’s how it is you know

HAHAHAHAHA i cringed

bless these 2 sunshines

others

oH LA LA

veri romantico

so much kisEU

jk i’ll get my ass deleted

since your boy is an idol, it’d be pretty hard to be together

but of course when there is time to see each other, you two would meet most of the time

he’d directly pull you into a hug and tell you how much he missed you

“you can’t believe, i had a lot of fun but i really missed you, have you been doing alright?”

“of course, i’m happy you enjoyed it and i missed you a lot too”

IVE SAID THIS A LOT OF TIMES BUT

he’d remind you that he loves you a lot

“you know, y/n. i love you, more than a lot. i don’t think there is a word for it”

which

makes

my heart

ache once again 💞💓💗💖💘💕

he would make such a lovely boyfriend, je give up on this life

anyways

i’m really happy he made it into the final group and wish him a happy debut ???? idk how to word it

but i really hope that you guys enjoyed it

sorry my doods, this the end :’( i ENJOYED WRITING IT THO AKSSK

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koi-dog-bot · 6 years ago

Text

★ FILL IN THE QUESTIONS AS IF YOU ARE BEING INTERVIEWED FOR AN ARTICLE AND YOU WERE YOUR MUSE.

TAGGED BY: nobody

TAGGING: idk whoever feels like it?

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME? “Juke.”

2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME? “... It’s Crash Course, not that it’s any of your business but whatever. Juke is my name now and that’s how it stays.”

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU’RE CALLED THAT? “Because I tended to learn on the fly. Also it fit with the theme my host unintentionally had goin' with his deployers.”

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN? “I generally stick with ‘ambiguous’ and leave it at that.”

5. WHAT ARE YOUR POWERS AND ABILITIES? “Stupid huge memory and a knack for vocal mimicry.”

6. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? “Light purple.”

7. HAVE YOU EVER DYED YOUR HAIR? “I’ve repainted a couple times over the millenia if that counts.”

8. DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY MEMBERS? “Used to...”

9. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? Snrk-- “Sorry, just a bit ironic you’d be asking that. No, not anymore. I used to have a mangy mutt of a ‘voltai when I was younger but they went missin' and I haven’t seen them since.”

10. TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE. “Mmm. That’s a long list. I don’t like it when people doubt that I could kick their aft, or that I’ve fought at all. Part of it is because I tend to not act my age for reasons I’m not gettin' into, but come on... I was a fraggin’ mercenary for Primus’ sake.”

11. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES OR ACTIVITIES YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME? “I collect things, absorb the local entertainment, go for runs, annoy people over the waves, sometimes I write or doodle... nothin' spectacular, really. Been thinking about growin' the couple crystal seeds I have but I’m havin' trouble getting a proper guide and not just memory from when my host did it.”

12. HAVE YOU EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE? “Duh.”

13. HAVE YOU EVER… KILLED ANYONE? “...Also duh.”

14. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU? “You mean my alt? It’s based off a breed of turbohound from Velocitron but it mimics some other design elements from other canines too.”

15. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS. “Uuuuh... That would be probably most of them. Off the top of my head you got destructive chewin' when I’m bored, bein' a magpie, wanderin' around at the dead hours of night when I cant sleep and gettin' into stuff... Yeah. Lots of things.”

16. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE? Mmm... “I looked up to my host. I haven’t been doin' great with that, but I have a chance to turn that around at least.”

17. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL? “Those terms dont work with me. Those are human things. I don’t date humans. If were talking preferences that do apply it’s gonna be mechs who are honest with what they want from me... That, and uh, the obvious physical features and hobbies alignin' with what I like.” Cough.

18. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL? “I followed my host to his, so you could say I got a second-hand education. Didn’t finish it though...”

19. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS SOMEDAY? “It’s the furthest thing from my mind right now. That requires a lot from me to change that... its too dauntin' to tackle.”

20. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANS? “Fans? What fans? I’m in the middle of the woods on some mudball planet in the Terran system and before that I was planet hoppin' around doin' things no one would admire. So no, probably not.”

21. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF? ... “Let’s not get into that.”

22. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR? “Absolutely nothin'.”

23. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE? ... “Also not gettin' into that.”

24. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU? “Class? Uh... well that doesn’t really matter much anymore I don’t think? I guess before I was low-class due to bein' a minicon, you were kinda slated to be nothin' but a tool as one back then. Now I’m... I dunno, a vagrant?”

25. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE? “Uuuuuhhh... a few. I’m purely just thinkin' of the ones I’ve met since Earth, I dunno if any of the others are still alive.”

26. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE? “Pie as a concept sounds delicious, but I can’t eat the usual one so I wouldn’t know. Post-war Cybertronians, get on that.”

27. FAVORITE DRINK? “Somethin' denta-rottin' sweet usually, the kind of stuff medics cringe in horror at. Nearly bit one’s hand for tryin' to take it from me once...”

29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE? “This old concert theatre me and my symbiotic siblin's used to sneak into. Place is rubble now, no idea if they attempted to rebuild it.”

30. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE? “Many people are interestin'. If you’re talkin' the romantic sense though, I’m still thinkin' about it.”

31. WHAT’S YOUR DICK SIZE? “Nah.”

32. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN? “Lake. Salt cakin' in seams is the worst. But its got to be a mostly clear lake, I’m not too fond of slimy grass on me either.”

33. WHAT’S YOUR ‘TYPE’? Siiiiigh, “I have multiple and its mostly just feelings at the time based, I tend to gravitate to mechs slightly larger than me but I also dont mind them bein' shorter. I have a bit of an ego and if I have to compete in a not friendly teasin' way I’m out, so macho mechs aren’t for me but the occasional smart ass gossip is fine. I don’t like bein' babied but I do appreciate bein' cared about and havin' someone bein'... fond with me. I like really affectionate mechs is what I’m sayin'.”

34. ANY FETISHES? Nnnh... “I haven’t trusted many mechs enough to really explore, simple romps when I got the chance was more than enough. However... I do like bein' praised.”

35. TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE? Huff, “This is dumb. I’m not answerin' this. It’s entirely based on the situation, I just like havin' fun and that means it can be one or the other. I’m not picky....”

36. CAMPING, OR INDOORS? “Indoors. Less bugs and critters.”

37. ARE YOU WAITING FOR THIS INTERVIEW TO BE OVER? “Yes.”

#meme #headcanon #(( juke for once being mostly honest while also lying a bit ))

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withnosuchgrace · 7 years ago

Note

Hiiii (can I call you mom? You seem every motherly I don't know, sorry 😂) soooo, I'm new and have confirmed that I like seventeen, but it's still kinda hard to know who's who, can you help me differentiate them pleaseeeeee

hello hello hello !!!!!!!! ejgwiesugfiuewsg you think im motherly????? im really not sgidhiuegsbuesb but sure thing ofc you can call me mom :’))) as long as you’re comfortable !!!!!!

awwwww im sosssoso happy to hear you slipped into the diamond life !!!!! i love my bbys seventeen sosososo much :”))) and dude i totally feel your struggle it took me ages to tell them all apart !!!! (it took me weeks just to tell mingyu and wonwoo apart rip)

i hope i can make this process a little easier for you!!

(all gifs and photos used are not mine, credit to the rightful owners!!)

okay so seventeen has like a million members (im kidding theyre 13 but when you first get into them it’s overwhelming to say the least)

i find it’s easiest to learn them by their units since it’s a clean and simple way to organize them !!!!!

we’ve got three units in seventeen: hip hop, vocal, and performance

each unit is responsible for a specific aspect, like the hip hop unit is in charge of writing the rap, the vocal unit writes their lyrics and woozi produces all their music, and lastly the performance unit creates all the choreography

(remember that this is completely my opinion and things that i have noticed that makes it easier to tell them apart. if i make any mistakes pls feel free to correct me!! i am in no way an expert!!!!!!!!!!!)

hip hop unit

(from left to right we have Wonwoo, Vernon, S,Coups, and Mingyu)

S.Coups

- he’s the leader

- he’s like a father figure to the others since he’s the oldest and the leader

- treats the other members like his children, he’s so protective of them

- actually one of my fav leaders in kpop tbh

- but anyways

- he’s the one usually being an embarrassment

- like he’s a mess

- an embarrassing dad basically

- he’s pretty easy to tell apart looks-wise

- but he has tiny ears ????? they’re so cute

- also his gummy smile saved my life

- he’s pretty built and the strongest in the group like w o w throw me off a cliff pls

- v v competitive like he does n o t want to lose

- would do anything for his members ;-;

i told you he was an embarrassment smh

can also be hot af

Wonwoo

- aka the loml

- he’s very quiet like hardly ever talks

- but when he does it’s most probably to tell a really bad pun or joke

- that only he’ll find funny

- claps like a damn seal when he laughs

- a lil weird

- likes to randomly burst into song for no reason whatsoever

- lowkey savage

- also emo

- his most distinctive feature is his eyes

- he says while they’re super cold and sharp-looking he’s actually really warm inside

- for real he may look super intimidating and scary, but trust me he’s the biggest dork i love him

- just wants to read his book in peace tbh

-he also wears glasses a lot !!!! and it kills me !!!!!!!!

- when he laughs his nose crinkles and it’s the cutest thing i cry

- sings sometimes and it makes me sob

- voice deeper than my love for him

look at the eyes !!!

did i mention im in love with his laugh :((

Mingyu

- he’s the tallest

- he’s also the visual like the other members say he’s the best looking (theyre all good looking tho so like wtf)

- has the most beautiful brown skin you will ever see like it g l o w s

- the best cook and cleans like hes lowkey a mom

- loves to eat pls feed him

- super caring and a total sweetheart always lowkey taking care of the others

- is super artistic and stuff like he created bongbong out of his bare hands and designed their latest album cover

- can be a mess sometimes

- okay all the time he’s the clumsiest someone help him

- always laughing and smiling what a joyful person :’)))

- he has long canines?????? and they’re beautiful ????????

- actually a model like w o w

- looks older than he actually is tbh

- also lowkey built bye

a r m s

look at that smile !!! and the canines !!

Vernon

- he’s half-white, so pretty easy to tell apart

- he doesn’t speak a lot either, but when he does he’s the biggest meme

- always lost in his own world tbh

- never knows whats going on

- pls protect him

- the others say hes like a mini leonardo dicaprio so there ya go

- visuals af tbh

- he’s usually the one people can tell apart first

- you can probably find him by his bf’s seungkwan’s side

- he was on show me the money so a lot of people recognize him from there

his smile is v v cute :’)))

look at those visuals !!!!!

and that concludes the hip hop unit !!!!!

we’re 1/3 of the way there…..

vocal unit

(from left to right we have DK (aka Dokyeom), Seungkwan, Woozi, Joshua, and Jeonghan)

Woozi

- leader of the vocal unit

- a musical genius w o w

- the tiniest

- deadass looks so smol and cute i cry

- but if you call him cute he’ll dropkick your ass

- a mini yoongi tbh (literally everyone call them father and son)

- is cute ???? but hates aegyo????? even tho he does it so naturally ?????

- the actual cutest okay

- usually has pastel coloured hair

- is shy af

- but also savage af

- don’t wake him up unless you have a death wish

- may look innocent and adorable but will be planning your death behind that sweet smile

- pretty easy to tell apart tbh

- just look for the smol one

the actual cutest o my god (he cringed so much im crying)

a baby!!!!! must protect!!

Jeonghan

- also pretty easy to tell apart

- h a i r

- had like super long hair and everyone mistook him as a girl rip

- but now it’s shorter (rip long hair you will be missed ;-;)

- is actually the most savage

- has everyone wrapped around his finger

- literally gets away with everything

- king of cheating and succeeding

- likes to call dino his baby

- l a z y a f

- hes the one that’s lying down 99% of the time

- the other 1% he’s trying to get out of doing work so he can lie down

- likes to mess with everyone

- an actual angel o my god

look how soft !!!

v i s u a l s (i miss his long hair ;-;)

Joshua

- a m e r i c a n

- ????? looks like a prince ?????? literally all of the time ????????

- like im not even kidding his visuals have me in awe

- like okay the one who blows you away by his royal looks yes thats joshua

- randomly says words in english (along with vernon)

- is super sweet and precious wow i dont deserve him

- also makes terrible jokes

- has the prettiest eyes

- will be extra sometimes

- calls himself a gentleman (he is)

- likes to rap but can’t for shit

- seriously is rhymes are the worst

- has a really really soft voice wow fit for the prince he is

- is a little awkward but it’s okay he’s still adorable

- will do pin drops like his life depends on it

okay so he has a lot of ear piercings that can tell him apart and im in love with his piercings ajkfeauwf

his visuals ?????? a prince ?????? i just gasped w o w

- the human personification of sunshine

- loud af

- literally will never shut up

- but it’s all in good faith he just wants everyone to be as happy as him :)))

- always laughing

- will make himself a fool to make the others laugh

- he has a very prominent nose (if that makes sense????)

- kinda hard to miss since he’s always yelling

- vocal king

- like literally his vocals are out of this world

- has a very infectious smile that can cure cancer

- certified cutie patootie

a cute !!!!!!!!!! also look at that nose !!!!!!

when will his extra ass stop (im mingyu in the back with the mop)

Seungkwan

- human definition of extra

- s a s s to the m a x

- literally sass king

- booty so great kim kardashian is quivering

- never thought i’d say that sentence in my life

- wants to be a variety king and is doing a damn good job at it

- his reenactment of american movies when a tsunami hits is iconic pls watch it

- he has a really round face and chubby cheeks i wanna squish them :((

- cries a lot same

- literally scared of everything my poor boy

- he’s probably the one overreacting

- also never shuts up

- has incredible vocals too that kill me

i wanna pinch his cheeks :(((( i love my boy :(((

probably slaying everyone with those bomb ass vocals

that’s it for vocal unit!!!!

and last but not least…

performance unit

(from left to right we have: Jun, Dino, Hoshi, and The8)

Hoshi

- leader of the performance unit

- part of the extra squad that i totally made up on the spot rn

- but okay hes really extra too

- “naega hosh”

- super cute and funny i cannot believe

- he has eyes that are positioned at 10:10 on a clock and thats what he calls himself

- like his nickname is 10:10 bc of his eyes

- pretty iconic eyes tbh

- he looks super cute and adorable one second but the next he is ummmm a lil too sexy bye

- the duality of man is real within him

- he’s always super hyper

- his voice is really recognizable ????? at least for me ???? like it sounds so cute ??????

- aegyo is his middle name

- dancer extraordinaire

- a mess basically

look at this fucking tease bye

someone pls stop him

Jun

- underappreciated af

- chinese !!!!!!!!!!

- an actual visual god

- hardly speaks

- always in the background doing weird and questionable shit

- not even kidding whenever they’re filming something you will find him making hearts or just doing something super random in the background where he thinks no one will see him

- but we see everything

- his eye stare is something the majority of the earth’s population cannot handle

- his smile is the 8th wonder of the world

- has a v v sharp nose w o w

- the biggest flirt this world has ever seen someone stop him

- k n o w s he’s hot af

- makes everyone’s heart flutter and breath hitch

- but also gets super super awkward but its okay i love him with all my heart

- voice of an angel

- never knows what to do with himself rip

look at this smol baby laughing so pure ;-;

he has a really sharp nose and he makes me melt

The8

- s a v a g e

- will fight you

- also underappreciated, also chinese

- v v fashionable

- pretty sure him and mingyu are the best dressed

- looks super cute :’))

- lowkey reminds me of bambam tbh (looks wise)

- he couldn’t speak korean for the longest time but now that he can no one is safe

- out here to expose his members

- always judging

- dabs

- lowkey a meme too

- b-boying king

- can do flips like it’s second nature

- he has a v v cute voice it’s so precious ;-;

him judging jun’s ass (but he still looks cute all is well)

look how cute !!!! a precious !!!!! pls love him!!!!!

Dino

- the maknae, an actual baby

- i couldn’t recognize him for the longest time rip im sorry my son ;-;

- has a really loud voice and talks quite a bit

- lives and breathes dance

- michael chanson (he’s a huge michael jackson fan)

- everyone in the group treats him like their lil bro, their baby

- esp jeonghan

- but he is a growing boy !!!!!!!!!

- meaning he doesn’t wanna be called a baby anymore jeonghan is v bitter about this

- he’s still a baby tho

- he raps, and quite well

- aegyo is his friend

- he actually looks pretty distinct from the others

- like in mansae era he had that astro boy hair that still haunts me

- has a sweet smile

- prominent cheekbones

- loves himself lmao

wow my son my child look how cute hes a mess

here we have the hair that still haunts me to this day rip

and there we have it!!! i really really hope this was helpful!!! welcome to the diamond life !!!

if you have any more questions feel free to ask :’))) my ask box is always open :))

also if you ever feel like making some more carat friends, or just want to see more seventeen content, don’t be afraid to join a network!! i’m the admin of a hip hop unit network (applications are still open !!!)

also a good way to learn more about hem is to watch a shit ton of videos, that’s what i did!!!!

here are some videos to get you started

One Fine Day (you can find the new japan season floating around on here !!!)

weekly idol (i still havent watched the new one im a fake but this is the one from last year)

also just watch their vlives :’)))

i really hope this is helpful !!!!!

in conclusion pls love seventeen a lot theyre really talented and deserve all the love in world ;-;

#this took a whole day to create omg #i hope it makes sense sfjeusefe #i only introduced svt to two of my friends before so like typing it out like this was really hard #seventeen #scoups #wonwoo #mingyu #vernon #woozi #jeonghan #joshua #dk #seungkwan #hoshi #jun #the8 #dino #answered #tahira speaks

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buggerjagger646 · 8 years ago

Text

nobody is going to like this and i just dont care at all.

alright.

im gonna rant

because my head hurts and maybe this will make it a little less terrible.

How very not buddhist of me, but fuck you “fat acceptance” or “mental health acceptance”. fuck. you.

allow me to introduce myself in a way that makes me cringe at my very core, for this is the way that so many talk about themselves these days and i find it fucking deplorable to define yourself not by the content of your character or the achievements which you have brought to yourself, but instead these fucking bullshit words which hold little to no meaning of who YOU are. fuck that. but for the sake of the argument of this rant, ive been seeing a therapist for several months after what i can only think of as a fairly serious break and im being monitored for some variation of depression and suicidal whatever, and also for anorexia, apparently.

to the “accept my mental illness” bullshit - screw off. just screw off. it was suggested at my most recent session that i might need to enter a hospital facility for the apparent severity of my thoughts. i have to go to a long, pain in the ass diagnostic session in a couple of weeks to see if theyre going to medicate me, and that session was very difficult to get because hey apparently very few prescribing mental doctors who take my insurance deal with people who have eating issues. so fuck that first of all.

“accept my mental illness, i dont need to see a therapist.” go to hell, quite frankly. i force myself to be honest with my therapist. i keep a stupid log of my “emotion states” because she asks me to even though i think is ridiculous. i read and listen to many psychological figures and ideas and force my own self to do everything i can to try to figure out some way to get around all of this. fuck you and your “accept me as i am because i dont want to/am too scared to do any real work for my own wellbeing”. fuck you. get fucking help, do some fucking work, get the hell over yourself for the love of everything. stop moaning and telling ME, ME who is working herself raw to figure out what the hell to do, that you dont have to do the same damn work as me. get off it. get yourself together, damnit. do some damn work.

moving along,

“fat acceptance” can fuck. the hell. off. right off. so far off that i never have to see that bullshit again in my life. they weigh me once per month at my doctor. the doctor who i had to sit in front of like a little kid and admit that i was barely eating and watch THAT look. you dont know THAT look unless you know THAT look. the doctor who i was given the (appropriate) ultimatum of ‘go to the doctor to be sure youre not dying or we cannot continue’ by the therapist i already mentioned. i just happened to find and like the one who had a specialization in eating disorders. lucky me. i keep a food journal on and off where i have to describe my feelings around what im eating. and when i hand them off i get to watch her get that little look of repressed concern, going ‘this cant be all that there is’. they primarily consist of the feeling “i hate this” and “im forcing this down my throat and i feel terrible”.

so fuck your fat acceptance. dont give me bullshit about “glandular” this and “hereditary” that. the overwhelming majority of you who are fat are so because your food intake is complete and total shit and entirely more than it should be, and you dont fucking care. or, frankly, youre lazy. and dont sass me, ive had a number of fat people admit to me directly that they are too fucking lazy to learn to cook or to cook for themselves or to eat within healthful bounds.

fuck. you.

you know what? if you want to destroy your body and your general well being and youre somehow content there, fucking go for it. but dont fucking demand that i accept the fact that youre too stubborn or lazy to do well for yourself. fuck you. if i have to shove food into my mouth and i have to be fucking uncomfortable and i have to fucking deal with this, fuck you, you can fix your diet and stop being an ass. and for the record, anyone who is pushing this shit for children is absolutely, sickeningly, deplorable. children should not be fat. they have every metabolic and physical reason to not be fat unless their jackass parents are too ignorant or arrogant to do something. and yes, thats fucking child abuse. if your kid is fat, its almost certain that you are doing something wrong and you need to either seek assistance or have some kind of repercussion. fuck up your life if you must but dont try to bring kids into this.

fuck you. if i have to force myself to eat, if i have to make myself be honest with what not eating does to me, then you assholes should be held to the same accountability. you know that the food you eat is shit and/or too plentiful. you KNOW it. dont give me this shit about “fat acceptance”. get your shit together and learn how to accept yourself and you might find that in most cases, youre well aware that youre fucking killing your body and you really dont actually like it. if anorexia is an eating disorder, then most of the overeating is so as well. your relationship with food is just as unhealthy as mine is, stop fucking lying to yourself because youre too lazy to be honest and to find the better solutions.

fuck your acceptance bullshit.

almost no one knows whats broken in me right now and im damn well going to fucking keep it that way. because i will be fucking damned if i am going to be defined by this shit as opposed to the things that i have done or will do or the person who i am or my long thought and pondered ideas. and even better, ive been completely betrayed by one person i trusted with this information of me who was so enamored with these labels. and ill tell you, it certainly hasnt helped my view of these label lovers.

get over yourselves. figure yourselves out, give therapists something to do. if youve got problems, fucking address them. if you want something, fucking go and do the work for it. you dont get things just because you think that you somehow deserve them. work for it. and be someone worthy of what you want. dont be a weak little cowering barely person who demands things from people to try to fulfill something youre not willing to work for. and jesus fucking christ, dont just sit there being broken and insist that we have to take you as you are broken or accept your delusions.

i force myself to eat. i work my mind in circles trying to figure out how to be in a better mind. you “accept me” people are so full of shit i can barely stand it.

#mental health #depression #anorexia #eating disorder #social justice #fat acceptance #health #rant

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swearronchanel · 8 years ago

Text

Impromptu post, thoughts during 5.05

I'm so pissed I literally lost an earring at some point today and just realized. So I ripped my dorm room apart looking for it (no luck of course) and now it's 9:30 so I already missed half of the new episode of Jane the Virgin. Also my earrings are from Tiffany's, they were a Christmas gift a couple years ago & I can't afford to replace it😭 whatever you guys don't care about this, I'm so tired but I refuse to fall asleep at 9:30pm because I'll wake up at like 5am. So I decided to watch a random episode of Call The Midwife and share my thoughts.

Ok I'm going with 5.05, since we just saw 6.05 lol, idk If there's any logic but just go with it alright

ah the old credits, I really like the new ones though. Especially the color

"We were moving from a time of guessing.." I love how the show explains & shows that times are changing

The health report! Littt

"I feel a drumroll is in order" Shelagh is so precious!! 💖 I love her Scottish accent && side note I still wish they would mention one day how she got London. It literally does not matter at all but we know next to nothing about her past and im curious ?! More of Shelagh’s past pls

WAIT ONE OF MY FAV SHELAGH LINES IS COMING

"Patrick Turner, GP License to Practice Medicine and Secret Agent Shelagh Turnova save Poplar from ill health and disease!" I LOVE ITTTT😂 ONE OF HER BEST LINES EVER DONT @ ME, her laugh at the end is priceless ah! Shelagh is lowkey funny af she just rarely gets to opportunity and again Laura Main is an actual gem 😍

KEEP FIT

Trixie looking so good😍 i need her to whip my ass back in to shape. i havent worked out in like 3 months yikes

but seriously is this really my train of thoughts if i dont mention how perfect Helen George is?

yea its fuccking cancer, cigs are no joke

lol did they really not notice Tim reading Freud?

Also why did Shelagh ever think smoking cigarettes was a good idea after she freaking had tb? i forgive her though shes my bby💕

phyllis! my mother and hero

oh yea this lady cant read

forgot she was a ex-prostitute

vi and fred doing jumping jacks im dead, theyre a cute couple

Where did frankincense come from??

lol violet didnt wanna give up the bathroom door "we may be married but i still have my dignity"

Mrs Dooly? Is that her name (idk)

I can so see Shelagh delivering her baby herself like this lady did, but obviously she’d know what’s happening. You think Shelagh is going to freak out while giving birth though? hmm

"I do like a milky brew" WHY IS THAT FUNNY😂😂 I like the Delia & Sister MJ interaction

PHYLLIS TRYING TO RIDE A BIKE IS SYMBOLISM FOR ME TRYING TO GET THROUGH THIS SEMESTER #barelymanaging

does laying on a door really help a messed up back?

Those awful sleeves on Delia's uniform *cringe*

"I am not trusted with medical emergencies" I TRUST YOU SISTER MJ💕 lowkey hope the delivery sister MJ is involved in is Shelagh's

If I had to deliver my own baby I'd be freaking the fuck out too, like I'm not Dr Quinn

The Nonnatus Fam all at the table makes me happy😭

Sister Winifred rolling her eyes in the back 😂😂😂

"I'll be washing my hair and reading magazines from now on" yo sister Winifred is growing on me tbh?? Wow lol

"Ive always assumed the results of the male organ to be more rewarding than the organ itself" 😂😭 love sister MJ

Everyone in the convent shook😂 again sister W has the best reactions 😂 dick jokes are 100x funnier when they're made in a convent & 1000x funnier when they're made by a nun

Shelagh's "percussion" on Tim's back I'm dead lmfaoo

I don't remember if she has post partum ?

Fred taking over the shop😂 I miss when Fred used to scam though😭

"I'm missing my monthlys" "monthly whats?" Oh Fred cmon 😂

Tim snatching those cigarettes

Barbara trying to measure this lady😂😂 she's so awkward, love it

She leaves her baby outside smh

"Gosh James knows how to show a chap a nice time" ANOTHER GREAT SHELAGH LINE😂 give my bby more great lines 😭😂

I LOVE CHEEKY SHELAGH, I LOVE SHELAGH ALL THE TIME EVEN WHEN SHE HAS NO LINES OR IS CRYING AND SAD (WHICH IS TOO OFTEN & WE NEEDA CUT THAT OUT)

Laura Main and Helen George calmly ruined me, I never was like this? How did I end up literally crying every week for fictional characters ??

Shelagh and Patrick's faces were so smug just now I love it

Yikes those lungs

Reminds me of all the gross anti smoking commercials. Also Patrick is shook but I'm not too surprised

I love that Phyllis is so understanding and doesn't judge any patient 💕

"You have the rest of your life to get the hang of it" I NEEDED THAT TOO PHYLLIS THANKS

LMAO FRED "Because hell will freeze over first"

so yes post partum??

Phyllis is annoyed bc she wants to work on her Spanish and babs is taking too long with the dishes 😂😂te querio mucho phyllis

Tim sparking up lol 🚬

Here comes trouble

I wanna rip Patrick's index finger off. Remember that time he wagged his finger and Shelagh and I was ready TO FREAKING FLIP

but yea wtf you knew this would happen Tim

Shelagh's just like "Tim no" I love u Shelagh but what does that do lmao your husband is exploding

"You'll what, light it for me!?" BOYYYY ARE YOU BRAVE KID

If I responded like that my parents would've flipped, there most likely would've been a chancla coming at me 😭😂

But seriously Patrick should know better not to smoke lol

What does Roxanne mean this isn't real??

Aw cute Patrick and Tim moment, and a year later they're getting drunk off one beer and throwing darts into the wall😂

I want to see more of Phyllis with babies aww

Also not really related but I hope Phyllis has some good lines defending the pill when it comes back up. Remember when she had babs shook when she told the story of the soldier she spent a weekend away with😏 imagine her telling the other nurses?

Used to hang out at a Jazz club Patrick?? lol interesting

damn get that radium treatment man

"The real magic is keeping on when all you want to do is run" Phyllis Fucking Crane spilling the tea as always. How did I not like her once upon a time??

Could Shelagh get any cuter eating biscuits? No she could not

lol biscuits aren't just for fainters!! Ah I don't miss sister Ursula 🙃

that's not your mother😐 (I knew where she was going though but you know I'm gonna say it anyway)

More Shelagh and Phyllis interaction yes pls

How much is a shilling? #ignorantamerican

Fred hiding from the costumers 😂😂

Yes Vi! Defend ur man & kick this rude ass lady out

Lol now Patrick telling other people to quit smoking. Don Draper tried man, it's gonna take u a while 😭

I'm here for the Phyllis and Sister W dynamic (more now that Phyllis is teaching her how to drive 😂)

Ah I love going back to old episodes when I know what happens in the future, also I notice things I didn't notice before and make connections and yea, you catch my drift lmao

"We don't choose to be unloved by those who should love us"💔

we truly don't deserve Phyllis. SHE'S TALKING ABOUT HER MOTHER AND IM CRYING

"Shame will keep us in all kinds of prisons if we let it" 😭😭😭

Patrick has a puppy face rn

Wait they went this long without naming the baby??

omg speaking of that, I really want to know what the gender of baby Turner is going to be and what it will be named😭😭

Vi is precious lol & Fred lifting her is cute. Patrick never lifts Shelagh😂

Aw speaking of my bbys💕💕

So precious it’s almost strange Turner family moment

Why do so many people hate that couch? Like it doesn't bother me or maybe I don't care enough about the background?

Angela has grown so much in a year wow, she looks a lot younger here

lol Shelagh and Patrick are like "um wtf psychology??" 😂

Wait Angela made a noise😂 when will she actually speak??

Haha Shelagh you're going to need new dresses but you don't know yet 😭😂💕 I still can't believe she's having a baby. I Love it.

"You're my world" lol that was so cute but also I still think Tim is too perfect of a child?? what teenager is so pleasant with his parents all the time 😂 plus he's always with them and his baby sister? #givetimalife2k17aka1962

Aww all the cute concluding moments & Vanessa Redgrave saying something profound and we are done.

#call the midwife #my rambles #thoughts #you tired of me yet #?#I will never run out of comments #I have too much to say #all the time #lets get it 1962 #protect my bbys at all costs though

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ecotone99 · 5 years ago

Text

[RF] Dear Brother

WARNING! THIS SHORT STORY CONTAINS FOUL LANGUAGE AND SOME SCENES THAT THE READER MAY FIND DISTURBING. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

[Author's Note] This was a short story I wrote when I was a junior in high school. Looking back, I love it, mistakes and all. It was an assignment given, and my teacher said I had made her cry, and she had given me full points. It's currently in development of an adaptation into a short film with the help of my friend's studio. I hope you enjoy!

The smell of the preservative burned his nostrils, the dank, musty smell of the fetal pig made Andrew’s stomach churn, and separating the intestines only made it feel like his breakfast was beginning to crawl up his esophagus. The sweat rolling down his brow only intensified as he continued to separate the intestines, and occasionally cut the mesentery with the fine edge of a scalpel. Scat from the intestines would pour out onto his plastic apron, and he’d wipe it off with the backside of his glove and onto a paper towel. “Hey Raye!” a thunderous voice shouted from a few feet behind Andrew. Andrew turned, only to be hit with a mass of intestines, sending blood and scat in seemingly every direction. Andrew’s stomach churned as the stinging smell of the preservatives, scat, and blood hit the chemoreceptors in his nose, and his breakfast began to rapidly travel up his esophagus, and through his pharynx, and the mass of food and bile was expelled from his mouth, and poured all over the mass of intestines and all over his Khakis. As a wave of sickness began to spread like wildfire in the classroom, the teacher ran over to young Andrew Raye, and escorted him to the nurses office. As he was leaving the classroom, he noticed that Wilson Sidd, the kid who had continued to bully him throughout his years in elementary and middle school, and throughout his freshman year in high school, gave him a sly smile. Andrew, now sitting in the nurse's office drinking water and recalling the previous events to himself, the school nurse came in with his belongings, along with a change of clothes from his P.E. locker, which smelled of sweat and grime. In silence, the nurse gave him his clothes, and he walked into the restroom, where he changed out of his outfit, which was now covered in blood, vomit, and pig scat. He looked at himself in the mirror, wondering how someone could bully an innocent, introverted boy such as himself. He looked at his fine, medium length brown hair, his small, weak, wimpy frame, and his semi-defined baby-face. He stared at the reflection of his own, piercing blue eyes, eyes which he got from his mother, and admired them. He saw himself as cute and handsome, but in a humble way rather than a narcissistic way, unlike Sidd. As he walked out in his black shorts with the Harlem High emblem printed on the bottom right leg, as well as on his grey t-shirt with mint green dye, he grabbed his stuff and asked the nurse if he could leave. “Are you still feeling sick? We can call your parents, and we can get you home if you’re still sick.” “No thanks, I think it was just the intestines from the fetal pig, it was really gross. But I really do appreciate the offer, I think I’ll be okay.” He smiled at the nurse. “Okay then, well I’ll just write you a note so you can get back to class, yes?” “Of course.”

2. Andrew, note in hand, walked out of the nurses office, with his photodegraded Jansport backpack, he made his way toward his next class, knowing that the bell would ring any second now. As the bell rung, he galloped faster and faster toward his Social Studies class. He was suddenly shoved forward, and fell in the crowded hallway, and as he was getting up, he had his left hand stomped on twice, leading to the constant, throbbing pain that continued to haunt him throughout the rest of the school day. As he entered the classroom 130-B, he put in his airpods, and pulled out his phone. He opened up spotify and began to stream Nujabes. The peaceful sound of lo-fi hip hop began to flow through his ears, and soon after, the soothing, emotional rapping of the artist Shing02 began to produce a warm wave of happiness and calmness. As he sat down in his seat, he began to produce a notebook and a pen from his bag. As he opened the nearly pageless spiral notebook to an empty page, he began to write in his messy cursive.

Dear Brother, How are you? I know it has been awhile since we talked, but I just wanted to check up on you. I’ve really missed you, and could really use your advice right now. I’ll probably just deal with it, I know you’ve been busy. I hope you are doing well, Momma and I miss you terribly, and we hope to hear from you soon. Your Favorite Brother, Andrew Oliver Raye As the words from his mind flowed through his hand, into the pen, and into the smooth, thick ink from the nib of his fountain pen, he finished his letter to his Brother, Oliver. When his mind began to fade into reality, and out of his own world, he quickly became aware of his teacher, Mr. Williams, was staring at his profile, with a passive aggressive look. “Mr. Raye, do you know why you’re failing this course?” He aggressively whispered. “No, sir.” Andrew replied, straight-faced. “It’s probably because instead of doing your work, you’re out playing around with girls and writing them sappy love letters. How about you put that away, that way you can work on what you need to, putting you on the path to actually graduating High School?” “Yes sir.” As Mr. Williams walked away, the voice in Andrew’s head spoke his feelings. “Officious little prick.”

3. Andrew found himself sitting alone underneath the shade of a big tree on this seemingly awful spring day during his lunch break. After the events of not only getting bullied by his peers, but his instructors as well, the neurons in his brain fired, bursts of electricity shot rapidly through his head, like a fighter jet breaking the sound barrier. His mind was processing the previous events, and the other events preceding them. He sat there, suffocating in his own isolation, while trying to keep calm and convince himself that everything would turn out alright. He hated where he was at in his life. He missed his brother terribly, and thought about him everyday, even though he knew that he would be coming back. His only true friend, gone, like a leaf in the wind, carried away. He still had his mother, but after his brother had left, their relationship had become distant. The same could be said about his group of friends, although due to the underlying drama within his friend group, his choice to leave didn’t phase him much. As Andrew sat, peacefully eating his apple and drinking his water from his HydroFlask, he noticed someone walking toward him. A sense of animosity overcame him, almost as if he was cringing watching him with his lumbering stride. “Andrew, we need to talk.” “Hi Casey.” Andrew responded dryly. “Why haven’t you been answering my calls?” “What do you care?” “Because I’m your friend.” “I’ve just been busy.” “No you haven’t, why aren’t you returning my calls?” “I just don’t wanna talk to anybody right now.” “Listen dude, I’m your best friend—” “I’m sorry, when the fuck did you care?” “Are you fucking kidding me? Are you serious right now? I’ve been your best friend since the 3rd grade, and now one day after a ‘fun’ vacation you just stop talking to me? You cut off the entire friend group, led on Natalie and shat on everyone else, and your excuse is that you just dont wanna talk?” “I can do whatever I want.” “Is this a joke to you? Do you just find fun in hurting the feelings of other people? Do you know the kind of shit I go through? Who the hell am I supposed to talk to? I’ve never met anybody in this world that actually gives a shit about me until I finally had the courage to tell someone, and that person is you, and you’ve helped me every single time I asked for it, and now when you’re in trouble you cut everyone off? What kind of sense does that make?” “Can you just shut the fuck up? Leave me alone, I don’t wanna talk to you.” “Get off your ass and come down here.” “Why?” “Because I wanna have a face to face conversation where I don’t have to look up at you and feel like--” “No, leave me alone Casey.” “Andrew seriously come down here now.” “You’re not the boss of me, I can do whatever I want.” Casey felt the rage slowly building throughout the conversation, and anger has continued to gradually speed up, like bubbles from a bottle of champagne. Now the bubbles had made their way to the backside of the cork. Casey began to lose control, and now the anger began to physically manifest itself in the form of his fists clenched together, making his knuckles white, and the veins in his neck and forehead beginning to protrude through his skin. Without thinking, fueled by his unrelenting anger, he began to walk up the grassy hill toward an unsuspecting Andrew, who went back down to thinking and eating his apple. Mindlessly, he grabbed Andrew and pulled him up to his feet by his shirt.

Andrew dropped his apple from his right hand and out of pure instinct, he clenched his small boney hand into a fist, and swung as hard as he could at Casey, making him lose his grasp and drop Andrew. Before Casey could return the favor, another student came up to them and separated them, not seeing Andrew’s previous swing and thinking that they were about to get in a physical altercation.

“What the hell are you guys doing? Quit trying to fight each other and piss off!”

Casey stormed off as the other student finished his lecture, and Andrew heard the sharp piercing bell go off as his peers left his side. He grabbed his stuff and packed up, and continued onto his next class.

4. Andrew’s mind began to race as he was processing the situation, he was scared, no beyond scared. Andrew was terrified. He had simply been wandering down the street, and he had looked up from his phone, only to see Wilson Sidd standing against the brick wall of a Harlem apartment. He tried to look down at the ground as he walked past, but it failed to trick Sidd. Andrew felt a strong yank from the back of his backpack, and he fell to the ground like a brick. After trying to get up, he was met with a large, matte black boot forcing him down to the ground and grinding into his chest. “Hey you little faggot!” Sidd exclaimed, his hyena-like grin stretching across his face into a disturbing expression. His face and his shaggy brown hair had struck fear into Andrew ever since he was a kid. Andrew always thought he looked like a hyena with his evil smile and his large ears, skinny face, and beady eyes. His slim, muscular build made him tower over Andrew, and his strength had always been the scariest part of him, especially if you were on the receiving end, as Andrew had been in his years in elementary and middle school. As Sidd’s boot continued to put pressure on his sternum, saliva and mucus made its way forcefully onto Andrew’s face from Sidd’s mouth. The pain and pressure from Sidd’s boot continued to increase, and Andrew began to scream. Suddenly, a deep, masculine voice yelled at Sidd from a few feet away. “HEY KID! PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE! GET THE HELL OFF HIM!” the man screamed angrily at Sidd. Sidd looked down at Andrew, and spat on him one last time as he fled the scene. Andrew began to get up and wipe the spit off of his face, and as he was doing so, his bones groaned in protest. “You alright kid?” The samaritan asked. “Yeah, just a little shaken.” “You gotta learn how to fight, someone might not be there next time, go to the gym and show him who’s boss.” “Thanks man, I really appreciate it.” Andrew shook the man’s hand, and the two departed. 5. Andrew painfully made his way toward the Douglas Park Apartment building, and walked in, taking the elevator to the 3rd floor. He made his way down the hall, and he found apartment 308. He clumsily fumbled the keys from his bag, and the pain in both his hand and sternum radiated through his body as he tried to enter. He unlocked the door, and threw his bag on the floor. The apartment was messy with trash and clothes. Pictures of his athletic father and brother, David Jesse Raye, and Oliver David Raye, were hanging all over the walls. He walked over to his cluttered living room, and passed out on the couch. Andrew was awoken by his mother, telling him to get ready. The woman was in her late 40’s, her curly brown hair had streaks of grey, and the wrinkles on her face weren’t quite pronounced, but very much noticeable. Andrew noticed she had been wearing a black dress and heels, along with a black overcoat. “Mom, where are we going?” Andrew asked, sleepily. “Trinity.” She responded, in a monotone manner. “Okay, I’ll be back in a minute Ma.” Andrew made his way to his small, cramped room down the hall of his apartment, and he went to his desk. In the bottom drawer, he grabbed a mass of letters, about 300 to be exact, which were all held together in a bundle with the help of a large rubber band. Andrew undressed from his P.E. Uniform, and he threw on a wrinkled black dress shirt, and slacks, along with a pair of black dress shoes. He then grabbed his black overcoat and black trilby. He returned to his front door where his mother was waiting for him in silence. Andrew stared at the the names engraved into the marble in the mausoleum. Pain rushed through his system, and tears began to well up at the corner of his eyes. The names, on top of each other, read; David Jesse Raye - August 23, 1972-September 30, 2016 and Oliver David Raye - June 22, 1992-May 12, 2018

Andrew placed the bundle of letters in the steel vase attached to the marble plate, and he noticed that the most recent letter on top read, 05/13/19. One year, he thought to himself. His mind couldn’t help it and it took him back to that night. Andrew had been hacking up a nasty case of influenza in his bedroom and his brother was looking for some cold medicine. After informing Andrew that there wasn’t any, Andrew asked Oliver if he could go down to the convenience store and buy some, and initially Oliver refused, he said it was too late. But Andrew begged him to, and he eventually gave in. Oliver made his way out of the apartment, and later, Andrew awoke to police knocking at his door. They had explained that the store that Oliver went to was robbed, and the cashier, Oliver, and another civilian were shot. Oliver and the Cashier were killed instantly. Tears began to well up in Andrew’s eyes, and he was transported by his thoughts from the past back to the present. What am I doing? His mind spoke to him as he stood there in silent emotional pain. Why am I here? Why is this happening? What is wrong with me? Was it really my fault? Yes… it's all your fault. It’s your fault that Oliver is dead. It’s all your fault. His mind was arguing with itself, and suddenly, a rush of calm went over hm. He stopped crying. Although his mind was still enveloped in darkness, he wasn’t panicking. A dark thought rushed into his head like a car going 90 down the highway. Andrew, in terrifying silence, walked calmly and swiftly back to his Mom’s car and waited for her.

6. After a car ride of silence, Andrew made his way home with his mother. His mother had made his favorite dinner meal to try and cheer him up after their visit to the cemetery. As he and his mother ate at the dinner table, it seemed as though all of Harlem was silent in mourning with the two Rayes. As the two both finished their dinner, they departed to their separate rooms. Andrew laid down on his bed and began to cry. The empty walls seemed to scream at him, and the silence in all of Harlem pushed him closer to what seemed like his impending doom. Andrew cried and cried, until his tear glands lacked the ability to produce tears. After he had nothing left to cry, the darkness that had been circling his mind since his cemetery visit swooped in. Andrew’s hands found their way into his desk drawer. He fished around and found what he was looking for. He pulled out a pocket knife with a red handle, and a black textured rubber grip in the center of each red plastic slate. With a swift flick of his wrist, the knife opened, and the razor sharp blade gleamed with the light of his beautiful sunset showing through his window. Andrew’s thumb ran itself along the fine edge of the blade, and it cut through his thumb, and blood began to slowly drip down his hand and onto his wood floor. His mind spoke softly to itself. Satisfying… it said. Do it. No. Do it. Don’t. Do it. Andrew please... Do it. It wasn’t your fault Andrew. It is your fault. It was. Yes. Do it. I’m gonna do it Yes… Andrew don’t. Mom needs you, your friends need you! Put the knife down. No. Don’t listen to it. It’s better off this way. Andrew quit it! None of us blame you! Remember how much we loved you! Damn it Andrew! Don’t listen to it! ANDREW PUT IT DOWN! YOU’RE WORTHLESS! NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU! THAT’S A LOAD OF BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT ANDREW!! DO IT! DO IT YOU LITTLE FAGGOT! ANDREW DON’T! PUT IT DOWN, I NEED YOU TO REMEMBER! DO IT ALREADY!!! ANDREW REMEMBER WHAT I SAID TO YOU ON YOUR FIRST DAY!

Andrew’s mind silenced itself, and he recalled a distant memory. Andrew remembered being driven to the front of Democracy Prep Charter Middle School in East Harlem. After a car ride filled with songs from Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp a Butterfly, he and Oliver had finally arrived. “Alright bud, this is where you get off.” He said in his usual, happy tone. “But what if I get beat up again?” “Listen, you need to fight back.” “But mom said--” “Forget what Mom said. If you don’t do anything to shut it down, its gonna keep happening.” “I guess…” “Listen, life has a funny way of doing things. There will be times when life throws crap at’cha. In those times, you have to fight for what you need. I love ya bro, I gotta leave, tell me how it goes when you get home, yeah?” “Yeah, for sure. Thanks bro.” And with a quick fist bump, Oliver had drove away in his 2002 Corolla. Andrew was brought back from his mind and into reality, and he found himself holding the knife on his wrists, ready to cut swiftly upward to end his own life. Andrew out of pure shock dropped the knife and began to cry.

7. Andrew woke up to the painful sound of his alarm the next morning, and began to get ready for the day. As Andrew walked out of his apartment with his coffee, the words of his brother echoed through his mind. You have to fight for what you need. As Andrew recalled the previous events to himself, he noticed a kid in a black hoodie with a familiar, Hyena like grin. Sidd hit his travel mug upward, splashing hot coffee onto Andrew face, making him scream. Andrew tried to wipe off the remnants of the coffee from his face when he received a bony fist to the gut. Andrew hurled over, and fell to his knees. “Hello again, faggot.” Sidd’s grin stretched across his face like a madman. “F-fu-huck y-you S-Sidd.” Andrew responded in a shaky voice. “What did you just say to me?” “You heard me… faggot…” Andrew grinned for a moment, but it was wiped clean off his face when a kick from Sidd sent him rolling on the sidewalk. Andrew’s nose began to bleed, and he got up. You have to fight, he thought. Okay! Andrew clenched his fists, and as Sidd was approaching to strike him again, Andrew hit him as hard as he could right in the jaw. Sidd staggered back, and grew even angrier as he charged at Andrew. He swung and missed, and Andrew countered with a knee to the gut. Out of instinct, Sidd elbowed him and as Andrew staggered, he kneed him in the gut, and as he hurled over, punched him in the jaw, sending his head looking straight up. Andrew fell on the ground unconscious, and Sidd continued to pummel him.

8. Andrew awoke in the hospital, pain surged from all over his body periodically like a wave. He realized that the painkillers he was on were wearing off, and he called the nurse. After drifting in and out of consciousness for what seemed like an eternity, he finally managed to find his way back into reality. He sat up in his hospital bed and saw his mother. His mother began to cry, and Andrew comforted her in his arms. Andrew had to stay in the hospital for three days. Sidd had broken his nose, left arm, and a false rib. Andrew later found out that Sidd had been spotted by a police officer, and had been arrested. As Andrew sat alone in his room thinking of his victory, a girl walked in. Andrew became confused. This wasn’t his nurse, or anyone he knew, it was just some random girl. “Hey…?” “Hi. My name’s Emily! My mom is in the room across the hall, and she told me what happened with you. She said you don’t get many visitors, so I thought maybe I’d say hi, since she also told me we were around the same age.” A pleasant smile came across her face. “Thanks, that means a lot! I don’t have many friends, so it's good to meet a new person! I’m Andrew.” “Hi Andrew!” Andrew and Emily continued to talk through his hospital stay. Everyday she went to go see both her mother and Andrew. Andrew felt at peace. He had finally gotten what he had so desperately needed; a friend. After a few months, they began dating. Andrew thought about marrying her often. I wonder who I would have as my best man… Oliver came into Andrew’s mind. A wave of depression rushed over him. Andrew had stopped writing the letters, and hasn’t visited his final resting place in almost a year.He began to recall the events leading up to meeting Emily, and he remembered his flashback. He remembered the voices. At the time he had never pieced it together why he was stopping himself, but he now realized that it wasn’t his voice that was battling the suicidal thoughts.

Andrew realised that the voice belonged to Oliver David Raye.

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