#criminal minds themes

[bloodywickedlips]

Lessons and scars pt 4

It’s been a full 8 months of dating Spencer and things were tense as I got back to my apartment and huffed as I put my bag down.

Spencer slammed the door and it made me jump, looking over to him I saw a scowl on his face.

“What?” I asked him feeling tired and over worked, needing a much needed rest. No matter how many killers we stopped there seemed to always be two more.

“Nothing I’m just tired” he said and I arched my brow at him but decided not to press any further. We both had dinner in silence and then went to bed. I knew something was on Spencer’s mind but he wasn’t opening up to me and I was not in the mood to fight. Things were tense since Emily left and there were a lot more fights.

The next morning both our phones rang meaning there was a new case. We both got up and Spencer went back to his apartment to shower and then meet at the office.

“What is it this time?” I asked as we all sat around the table each one of us nursing a coffee.

“Right so we have a string of bodies showing up. No limbs no heads just torsos, no way in saying who is who except for having tattoos if they had any�� Garcia said and explained the case further.

“Wheels up in 30” Hotch said and we all got our things ready and climbed onto the jet to solve yet another case.

Turns out it was a cult using the body parts for rituals and it took about a week to put together and make the arrests. This time I went to my apartment alone as Spencer needed to clean up his own apartment. Stepping into the door I looked down and saw a small box there and wondered what it was. I walked to the kitchen and used a knife to cut it open and once opening it I cursed to myself. I picked up the letter, leaving the flowers as is.

Once I opened the letter my heart stopped and I went cold “I know about him, Dr Reid will be next” the note read and I picked up the photo in the note seeing it was Spencer and I having coffee, I  dropped it as realization came over me. He was back and was going after the only thing I loved again.

I avoided Spencer’s calls over the next few days saying I had the flu and I was man down. It bought me some time to figure out a plan, but the only one I had was to leave Spencer. I needed to keep him safe by all costs.

Slowly but surely I pulled back from Spencer, less dates and less sleeping over, it caused fights between us but I knew I had to keep him safe, keep him alive.

Currently I was hunched over my desk filling in my reports when the group asked to go for drinks. “Don’t bother asking her, she’s too busy” Spencer answered for me and I huffed at his snarky tone.

“Sorry guys I want an early night for once” I said and everyone groaned and pleaded but I shook my head. “I'm really tired, but you guys have fun” I said and stood up with my bag. “Spence what about you?” JJ asked and Spencer looked at me but I looked down not being able to look him in the eyes.

“No I'm okay” Spencer said and they all gave each other glances and then made their way to the basement where all the cars were.

I was walking to my own car when Spencer grabbed me by the arm “What is going on with you, I never see you outside of work and even then you barely look at me” Spencer hissed at me and I rolled my eyes at him.

“Not now Spencer, I'm really tired and want to get home” I said to him but he wasn’t giving up.

“No I want to know what your problem is, are you tired of dating me? Or are you just bored and need to move on to the next one, am I not good enough because I don’t abuse you? Is it that you want that thrill?” Spencer shouted at me and I felt my heart break at his words.

He had no idea that I was keeping him safe but if that is what he wanted to believe then so be it.

“I'm done, were done” I whispered out not daring to look into his eyes.

“Wai- uh what?” Spencer asked me dumbfounded not believing what I just said. “Sorry Spencer, I just cant do this anymore” I said and then climbed into my car and drove home. The moment I shut the door of my apartment I broke down in sobs, feeling my heart break into a thousand pieces.

I made my way to my bed and broke down more, crying for hours on end. After composing myself I sent in an email requesting Hotch to allow me to take 7 days of my leave days that have collected. He had no problem with it and I was left to sulk around alone in my apartment.

On the fourth day there was a knock on my door and when opening it I saw Morgan there with coffee.

“Morgan not now” I said and went to close the door but he stopped me and stepped inside anyway.

“No I'm not leaving until I know what’s going on. You took a week off, Spencer is a mess and looking at you, so are you. Now spill” Morgan said and I felt the tears rise again and broke down. Morgan hugged me to him and let me cry it out.

“Come now, tell me and I can help” he said and I pulled back wiping my eyes. “Spencer and I broke up” I said to him and he gave me a sarcastic look.

“Yes we all noticed, but why sweetness, you guys were so happy?” he asked and I sighed as I turned around and fetched the box, handing it over to him.

“Who is this from?” he asked me and I walked over to the couch and sat down.

“My stalker, the one who killed my parents. He’s never been caught and he’s been dormant for the past 14 years. After Rossi got so close to catching him, he vanished. I thought he was dead, but now he’s back and I can’t put Spencer in danger” I explained to him as he sat next to me.

“Then we all help, we find this guy and put a stop to him” Morgan said but I shook my head at him.

“Morgan please, I don’t want anyone else knowing. Just us, he will go after the team and I cant have that, please” I begged him and saw him nod and pull me into another hug.

“Only if you ever get anything else you tell me” Morgan said and I promised him. “Okay now get dressed, I wanna show you something” he said and I groaned out.

“No none of that, dress in sweats and a tank top” he said and I got up and changed. Morgan drove us to his own gym and I looked at it confused not knowing what he wanted to do.

“Pretend this bag is your stalker” he said and gestured for me to hit the bag, I did so softly and he huffed at me.

“That’s how you gonna punch the person for killing your parents, and taking Spencer away from you? No mama I know you’ve got a meaner punch than that” Morgan said and I got angry. I punched the bag and heard Morgan praise me. I went at it for a while and then started sparing with Morgan in the ring.

“Now anytime you feel like crying or breaking you come here and you do this okay?” he asked me and I nodded understanding him.

Things were tense at work with Spencer not talking to me unless he had to and the rest of the team tried to stay out of it but JJ seemed a bit angry at me and would sometimes snap at me for no reason but this all lead me to go to the gym every day if I could, I started training harder and harder everyday, wanting to be able to take this stalker down if he was in front of me.

It was a few months that this went on, and when I was finished on the treadmill I headed home for a shower, walking past the mirror I saw my reflection and didn’t recognize myself anymore.

Long gone were the love handles I had and the round tummy, all replaced with toned muscles all due to hardly eating and such long training. I did notice the weight loss and had to buy new clothes but I never realized it was this bad. No wonder Garcia and Rossi asked me constantly if I was eating.

After my shower a knock on my door startled me and when opening it I saw Morgan standing there. “We have another case” Morgan said and I told him to give me 5 minutes to grab everything.

Second day into the case we got the profile as a male in his 40’s , taking couples to make up for the one he lost. “Okay so we have what he looks for in a couple, Reid, Olivia you two will go undercover, wearing tracking devices. We’ve established he keeps them around for a week and then disposes of them, so as soon as he grabs you two , we will make the arrest” Hotch said and I shook my head.

“Hotch can’t JJ go instead?” I asked hopeful but the stern look I got meant no. “You fit the female description better, it will be an easy in and out” he said and I nodded while walking over to change clothes to what the unsub looked for.

Spencer and I drove in silence to the club the unsub would be at and per Hotch’s instructions Spencer lead me inside and we both made it to the dance floor. “Spence you have to hold me” I whispered and his eyes snapped to me. “Don’t call me that” he spat out and we both heard a warning from Hotch over the line.

Spencer stepped forward and held me as we danced, trying to look around for the unsub but my head was buzzing with the feeling of Spencer’s hands on my hips.

“You’ve lost a lot of weight” Spencer murmured unapprovingly and it made my heart ache to hear how sad he sounded.

“Guys we have eyes on a possible” Hotch said and I sighed at relief as I didn’t know how much longer I could keep up the pretend and instead tell Spencer everything including how sorry I was.

Then all of the sudden all the lights went off and I tried to reach out for Spencer as voices shouted all around me, everything went blurry as I gripped onto Spencer’s hand and then blacked out.

“Anyone got eyes on them?” Hotch shouted out as the lights came back on but no one could see either Spencer or I. “Garcia where are the trackers?” Hotch asked and Garcia informed them that it was right outside the club in the alley way. The team rushed there and cursed as they stepped into the alley way. Both our clothes were there, along with the trackers.

“Someone tipped him off or he was in the room when we gave the briefing” Rossi said as everyone stood around our clothes trying to figure out which way the unsub took us.

[hoe4hotchner]

False Security | [A.H]

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader CW: Angst, physical abuse, kidnapping, captivity, hospital, light use of Y/N, hotch is in love with you, r is only wearing underwear, chains, morphine. WC: 2.6k

           The bullpen was eerily quiet for a late evening. Papers were scattered across desks, half-empty coffee cups forgotten in the rush of trying to piece together the puzzle of the case they were working on.

           The tension in the conference room was palpable - each agent hunched over their work, mentally and emotionally drained from the brutal reality of the case. Every passing hour without a breakthrough weighed heavily on the team.

           Garcia had moved from her tech cave to stay near the rest of the team. Something about this case, the brutality of it, had shaken her, she wasn't her usual cheerful self. Her fingers tapped anxiously against her keyboard, eyes darting between monitors, scanning data, hoping for a clue - anything that would help them find the unsub before another victim was claimed.

           Hotch stood near the whiteboard, staring at the photos pinned up - the faces of victims staring back at him, haunting him. There was a pattern here; they all knew it. They could feel it. But none of them had been able to put the final piece together yet. Everyone was running on fumes.

           "Garcia," Hotch’s voice broke the silence, low but with the familiar edge of urgency. "Pull up the financials again. There’s something we’re missing."

           Garcia nodded, already typing, her colorful nails clicking rapidly against the keys. But even she seemed distracted, her brow furrowed in worry. She wasn’t just focused on the case anymore - she was thinking about you. About how you had been recently, about the relationship you had confided in her about a few weeks ago. A relationship that seemed to be bringing you joy, a brightness that Garcia had been happy to see. But now… something about this case was stirring up an unsettling feeling in her chest.

           Reid was standing across from her, his eyes darting across the case files, muttering half-thoughts under his breath. Morgan was pacing, unable to sit still, his frustration growing with each dead end.

           Then, it happened.

           Garcia’s fingers stopped, hovering above the keyboard. The silence in the room grew thicker as everyone waited for her to speak. She was staring at her screen, but the bright color had drained from her face. Slowly, almost as if she didn’t believe it herself, she turned in her chair, wide eyes meeting Hotch’s.

           "Sir," her voice was trembling. "You need to see this."

           Hotch’s stomach dropped at her tone, something was off. He crossed the room in quick strides, looking over her shoulder at the screen. The room held its collective breath, all eyes now on them. Garcia was scrolling through the financials, linking transactions, showing a pattern of behavior that had gone unnoticed until now. At first, it seemed like nothing out of the ordinary. Just a name, a routine list of purchases. But then it hit him. A familiar name.

           Hotch froze. His heart slammed against his ribs, dread flooding his veins.

           “No,” he breathed, disbelief clouding his thoughts.

           Garcia turned, biting her lip. Her fingers trembled as she pointed to the screen. “It’s him, Sir,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “It’s… it’s (Y/N)'s boyfriend.”

           The words hung in the air, heavy, suffocating. Everyone stared, the weight of Garcia’s revelation hitting them like a freight train. Morgan stopped pacing, Reid’s muttering ceased, and Rossi’s eyes darkened as he stood from his desk.

           "Are you sure?" Hotch’s voice was low, but the tension in his tone was unmistakable.

           Garcia nodded, tears brimming in her eyes. “I cross-referenced his name with the locations. He fits every single one of the victim’s timelines, and… the patterns match. It’s him, Hotch.”

           For a moment, no one moved. It was as if the very air in the room had thickened, weighing them all down. Hotch felt as though the ground had been pulled out from under him. His chest tightened painfully, his mind racing with fear and anger. How could they have missed this? How could he have missed this?

           Morgan was the first to break the silence, his voice sharp and filled with disbelief. “Wait, (Y/N)’s dating this guy?” His eyes darted between Garcia and Hotch, trying to piece it together. “How long has this been going on?”

           “A couple of months,” Garcia whispered, guilt washing over her at the mere fact that she knew about your relationship. “She… she didn’t want anyone to know. But… I thought he was just a regular guy.”

           Rossi was already moving toward his phone. "Has anyone contacted her?"

           Hotch’s blood ran cold. He reached for his phone, his fingers fiddling slightly as he dialed your number. It rang once. Twice. Three times. Straight to voicemail.

           Panic settled in his chest like a stone.

           “Garcia, try to ping her phone,” he ordered his voice tight, betraying the rising anxiety within him.

           “I’m on it,” she replied, her fingers moving across the keyboard in a blur. The seconds dragged on like hours as she tried to locate your phone. When she finally spoke again, her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. “It’s off.”

           Morgan swore under his breath, his fists clenched. “We have to find her. Now.”

           Hotch felt a surge of terror, unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. His thoughts were racing— Where were you? Were you okay? Did you even know what kind of danger you were in? The idea that the person you had trusted, had been intimate with, was the same monster they were hunting - it made his skin crawl. And now, they couldn’t reach you.

           Garcia's voice broke through the haze. “I’ve got his phone,” she said, her voice shaking with urgency. “It’s pinging at a location near the docks - an old warehouse district.”

           Hotch didn’t waste another second. He was out the door before anyone could speak, his mind focused on one thing - finding you. His heart pounded in his chest, each step toward the SUV filled with the weight of everything that had been left unsaid between you two. He couldn’t lose you. Not like this.

          The warehouse loomed ahead, its shadowy silhouette stark against the faint glow of the city. Inside, the darkness was suffocating, every echo, every creak of the metal beams overhead seeming to mock the haste coursing through Hotch's veins. He moved quickly, his heart pounding in his chest as he led the team deeper into the labyrinth of hallways and empty rooms, desperate to find you before it was too late.

           The dread that had been building since Garcia's revelation gnawed at him with every step. The idea that you, his agent, the person he trusted and admired, had been caught in the web of this monster - he couldn’t wrap his mind around it. It felt personal in a way that made his throat tighten, made his focus even sharper. This wasn’t just a case anymore; it was about you, about saving you from someone who had fooled them into a false security.

           A soft, muffled whimper reached his ears, freezing him in place. It was faint but unmistakable. His breath hitched as he sprinted toward the sound, every part of him terrified of what he might find. He shoved open a rusted metal door, and the sight that greeted him ripped the air from his lungs.

           There you were, barely recognizable, hanging limply by your wrists, your arms shackled high above your head. The light flickered, casting shadows over your bruised and battered body. You were gagged, your face pale and streaked with tears, your eyes barely open, glazed with pain and fear. Your skin was marred with fresh bruises, and all you were left wearing was your underwear - vulnerable, exposed, and utterly broken.

           Hotch’s world tilted. He had faced horrors in his career, and seen things that haunted his dreams, but nothing compared to the sight of you, the person he had come to care for, reduced to this.

           For a split second, all he could do was stand there, frozen by the crushing wave of guilt and anger crashing over him. How could he have let this happen? How had he not seen it, not realized who the unsub was?

           “Morgan!” Hotch's voice was sharp. “Find him. Now.” He couldn't be far away Hotch thought to himself.

           Without waiting for a reply, Hotch crossed the room to you, his hands trembling as he reached up to unchain your wrists. You collapsed into his arms, your body weak and trembling from the strain. He held you close, his jacket already off and wrapping around your shivering form. His chest tightened painfully as he felt just how cold you were, how fragile you felt in his arms.

           “I’ve got you,” he whispered, his voice raw with emotion. “You’re safe now.”

           You stirred, barely able to focus, but the sound of his voice - his voice - cut through the haze of terror that had clouded your mind. Your eyes fluttered open, a tear slipping down your cheek as you realized it was him. You tried to speak, but the gag choked you, the duct tape biting into your skin.

           Hotch's fingers were delicate as he reached up to remove the tape. Every inch he peeled back felt agonizingly slow, each movement careful, as if he were terrified of causing you more pain. His eyes never left yours, the guilt and worry etched deep into his features.

           When the gag finally came loose, you gasped, drawing in shaky breaths as your mouth was freed. Your voice came out in a weak rasp, “Aaron…”

           “Shh,” he murmured, brushing the hair from your face with a tenderness that made your chest ache. “It’s okay. I’m here now.”

           But you could see it in his eyes. The guilt. The anger. It radiated off him, a storm barely contained beneath the surface. He blamed himself, you knew that much. And though you wanted to tell him it wasn’t his fault, that he couldn’t have known, your voice was too weak, your body too drained.

           Hotch wrapped his arms tighter around you, his face buried in your hair as he whispered, “I’m so sorry. I should’ve been there sooner.”

           His words broke something inside you, a sob tearing from your throat despite your exhaustion. You wanted to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, that you didn’t blame him, but all you could do was cling to him, your body shaking against his.

           You had been so close to losing everything - to never seeing him again. And now, in the safety of his arms, the adrenaline began to fade, leaving behind the raw emotion and terror that you had been holding back.

           “I’ve got you,” he whispered again, his voice barely a rasp. He held you tighter as if he could shield you from the world, from the pain, from everything you had just endured.

           He didn’t care about protocol, didn’t care that he was supposed to be in control, to remain objective. All he cared about was you, about getting you out of there and keeping you safe.

           When the paramedics arrived, Hotch didn’t let go. He carried you to the ambulance himself, refusing to leave your side for even a moment. The other agents worked around him, searching for your captor, but Hotch didn’t care about anything else right now. He stayed by your side as you were lifted into the ambulance, sitting beside you, his hand holding yours as if it was the only thing anchoring him to reality.

           The soft, sterile lighting of the hospital room contrasted with the cold, harsh reality of what had just happened. The beeping machines were rhythmic and steady, peaceful, a constant reminder that you were alive, even though the events leading up to this moment had been anything but peaceful.

           Hotch sat beside your bed, his hand wrapped protectively around yours, his thumb brushing back and forth along your knuckles in a soothing motion. He hadn’t left your side since they’d arrived at the hospital. The team had stayed behind to deal with the crime scene and the unsub, but Hotch had only one priority: you. His suit jacket now hung loosely on the back of his chair, as your bruised body had been hidden away by the hospital gown.

           You shifted slightly in the bed, your eyes fluttering open but still hazy from the morphine coursing through your veins. The medication had dulled the pain but also left you in a dreamy, disoriented state. Everything felt far away, like you were underwater, and the world around you was muffled. But there was one constant, something anchoring you to reality - Hotch.

           “Hotch…” your voice was barely above a whisper, the name slipping from your lips without much strength behind it. You tried to sit up, but your body protested, still sore and weak. Hotch’s grip on your hand tightened gently, his other hand pressing softly against your shoulder to keep you from moving too much.

           “Shh, don’t try to move. The doctor said you need to rest,” he said, his voice low and calm, but underneath it was a storm of emotions - relief, fear, anger. He tried to keep it together for you, but seeing you like this - bruised, shaken, and vulnerable - it broke something inside him.

           You blinked up at him, trying to focus. His face came into view, a mixture of exhaustion and concern etched into his features. “You... you came for me,” you mumbled, your words slightly slurred from the medication, but the gratitude in your tone was unmistakable.

           Hotch’s heart clenched at the sound of your voice, so small and fragile. He brought your hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. “Of course I did,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “I’ll always come for you.”

           You smiled faintly, the corners of your lips tugging upwards despite the pain and exhaustion. There was something about his presence that made everything feel just a little bit better, a little safer.

           Your eyes flickered around the room before landing back on him, and with a sleepy giggle, you whispered, “You look so serious, Hotch.”

           A soft chuckle escaped him, the sound rare but welcome, especially given the circumstances. “Someone has to be,” he teased, though his voice was still gentle. He brushed a stray strand of hair away from your face, his touch feather-light. “You’ve been through a lot.”

           You hummed, your eyelids growing heavy again, but you fought to stay awake, to stay in this moment with him. “Feel so... floaty,” you mumbled, your words trailing off slightly. The medication was pulling you back under again.

           Hotch smiled softly, watching as you struggled to keep your eyes open. “That’s the morphine. It’s okay to rest, you’re safe now.”

           For a moment, you simply stared up at him, your eyes glazed but full of warmth. “You’re always so... good to me,” you slurred, your voice thick with drowsiness. “Don’t know what I’d do without you…”

           His heart ached at your words. He couldn’t imagine what you had gone through, only what he already knew the unsub usually would have done, but the thought of you feeling alone or scared crushed him. “You don’t have to worry about that,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m not going anywhere.”

           You gave him a sleepy nod, your head lolling slightly to the side. “I know,” you mumbled, your voice fading as sleep finally began to pull you under.

           Hotch leaned forward, brushing a gentle kiss against your forehead. He didn’t care that the hospital staff had insisted he take a break or go home and get some rest. He wasn’t leaving your side, not tonight. Not until he was absolutely sure you were okay.

           As your breathing evened out and your body relaxed into the bed, he sat back, watching you with a mix of compassion and sadness. Seeing you like this, so vulnerable and hurt, made him feel more helpless than he ever had before.

[smaeemo]

I hate that every man Im attracted to in TV is a middle aged white man, and that every comfort character is an awkward probably autistic queer coded freak

[simplynims]

Vincent: "You mean to tell me you don't believe in things that go bump in the night?~"

Lovely: "Oh my god I'm gonna end up like those unsolved murder mysteries they talk about on those stupid ass podcasts aren't I-"

[kiwriteswords]

Professor!Aaron Hotchner x Student!Reader

↳ Moodboard requests 5/?

[ssahotchnerr]

it’s been so warm out recently and all i can think about is aaron in his athletic clothes

[criminalmindontwt]

[askblueandviolet]

Fave soap opera and fave true crime doc GO

MASTER POST

Asks Start 💙💜

Previous 💙💜

Next 💙💜

[brainrotcharacters]

goddamn it reid

so morgan actually insisted to remove spencer from the area because he was already onto the real killer? ok

[holoship]

[marvelwitchergilmore]

In Love

Summary: Clint Barton x Fe!Reader ~ Turns out, you’ve been keeping a massive secret from Clint despite being his friend and co-worker for the last six years. 

Disclaimer: violence, swearing (I think), pining, life-or-death situations, kiss to keep cover, fluff, hand holding, angst, blood, torture, Clint does not have kids or a wife or has ever, 16+ themes (Criminal Minds kinda thing). MDNI - This is your warning - If you read on, you have agreed to read 16+ themes.

The moment you came home your first day in the field, you knew what was to come. 

You never fell in love. Never even fell into ‘like’. But the moment you met him…it was game over. Your future self laughed at your younger self. 

“I’m never gonna fall in love.” you would say. “I’m never gonna like a boy like that. I’m not going to want someone to come home to. I want my own space. I don’t want anyone by my side. I don’t need anyone but my dogs. They can keep me company when I’m old and grey.”

God, you wished you could be like that again. Despite knowing none of it would be true, you wished you still had those ideologies. That you would never fall in love. That you would never date or marry or want children and turn out to be a Sports Mom with a minivan filled with gear, orange slices and cases of water you got on sale from Costco. 

But the moment you saw him…that ideology died. In fact, it burst into a ball of flames. 

You had never had that feeling before. That kind of feeling that sent a tornado through your stomach, blood pumping around your body as if you’d just fought for your life in a cross country race and your heart doing somersaults against your lungs that knocked the air out of them. 

But the moment you saw him…you had to scold yourself. 

And you scolded yourself over and over and over and over again, for years. 

Agent Clint Barton was first and foremost your teammate. You could only trust one another to the extent that the other did. Same with the rest of your team. 

Without trust, there would be no foundation for anything. 

And he trusted you. That much was clear. 

Afterwards, you, Clint and the rest of your team became friends and before long, you were a unit. A family. 

Each and every one of you knew the other like the back of your hands, except…Clint felt like he was missing something with you. 

He knew you were keeping something from him. And sometimes it felt like the rest of the team were trying to keep your secret, too.

Though, you knew that the rest of the team didn’t know for certain about your feelings towards Clint. They knew you but when it came to your love life, you were the only one none of them could figure out. Your cards were kept firmly against your chest. 

One evening, Willa (one of your teammates) spotted you in a small cafe getting a drink with a guy and when she saw you Monday morning, she instantly asked you about him. The whole team was there. Were you about to reveal that you have a secret boyfriend this whole time? Perhaps he was your husband and you had 4 kids and secretly owned a private school in Nebraska?

But, no. 

“He was just a guy and we had a good time but I don’t think I’m gonna see him again.”

“Why not?” Clint asked you. 

“Because the day after I saw him in the park with his girlfriend and their dog.” 

“Ooh,”

“I’m sorry, honey.” Willa frowned. 

“It’s okay.” 

For the next couple of months, you went on more dates. Some were set up by Willa and Jerry (another teammate) and the rest by online sites. And, some were more successful than others but in the end, none of them gave you that feeling that you had when you first met Clint. That kind of feeling, the moment you dropped your bag and closed your front door had you nodding your head and accepting, “Yep, this is it.” as you realised, somehow, miraculously, you’d managed to have a loving crush on someone. But it wouldn’t matter, because he is your teammate. 

And, after two years of trying to get rid of your feelings for him, or at least, trying to accept them and move on with your life, Clint sent your heart spirally and fell even harder when yourself, Willa, Jerry, Una and Clint were all sent on a mission together. 

It was an extraction. 

The host of the gala was a multi-millionaire and would be auctioning off his prized possessions in a secret auction. The gala was simply a front. After all, why would more than three dozen highly wealthy people all come to the same country for “a holiday”. 

His prized possessions included a hard-drive that opened the buyer to a world of information surrounding offshore accounts that were used to help free-lance agents that still had ties to any and all government organisations. 

Shield included. 

Only, after the initial smooth sailing, things took a turn. 

“It’s not here.”

From the other side of the bar, your eyes met with Clint’s and you spoke into your drink as you lifted it to your lips. “What do you mean it’s not there?”

“I mean it’s not here.” Jerry told you down comms. “The harddrive. It’s not in this room.”

“Then where could it- oh no.”

“Oh no? What oh no?” Clint asked. 

Willa turned her back to the column. “It’s in his jacket.”

“What do you mean it’s in his jacket?”

“Ten O’clock.”

Low and behold, there the host stood, the silver USB stick in his hand, smiling as he waved it around three other potential buyers. 

One of them went to touch it and the host pocketed it before he could, smiling before removing his jacket and handing it to his butler beside him who folded it up and began to walk away with it. 

“Where’s he taking it?”

Willa lip-read what she could from the conversation. 

“His bedroom.”

“His bedroom is heavily guarded.” 

“You don’t say.”

“Guys, what are we going to do? We need that hard drive.” Jerry’s voice rang through.

“Someone needs to get his attention.” Willa replied. 

“How?” you asked. 

“I have an idea.”

Moments later, Clint was by your side. 

“What are you-”

“Just trust me. You can punch me later.”

You placed your hand in Clint’s as he led you to the dance floor and suddenly you were very aware of your own skin. It was an odd feeling. 

“Just do what I do. But backwards. And in heels.”

“Thanks, Fred. What exactly is your plan here?”

Clint’s eyes met yours. “He looks in your direction every 45 seconds. I’m going to give him an excuse to make his move.”

You yelped in shock as Clint pulled you flush against him, his hand flexing on your lower back. 

“Just trust me?”

You caught the sincere look in his eyes and all you could do was nod. 

It worked. 

Just as Clint was moving you around the dance floor, your mind going elsewhere, there came a tap onto Clint’s shoulder. 

“May I cut in?”

“Of course.”

Clint pressed a kiss to your cheek, quickly whispering in your ear. “Flirt. You look beautiful, by the way.”

You smiled and nodded as he walked away, letting your hands slip from his and into the host’s. And, after flirting for the length of a song, feeling his hands go lower down your back, your own hands stopping him, he finally walked you up the stairs and towards his bedroom. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got eyes on you.” Clint spoke down comms. 

You looked over your shoulder as you climbed the grand staircase with the host’s hand at your back, and you saw Clint to the left of the dance floor, watching you carefully. 

Once you found yourself with the host, alone, in his bedroom and the guards told to clear away and take their break for an hour or so, you made quick work in knocking him out, finding the jacket and removing the hard drive. 

Only, once you left and met Clint outside the bedroom door, a new to duty guard came around the corner. 

“Just follow me.” Clint took your hand in his as he pocketed the hard drive into his jacket. 

You only got half-way walking down the hall when the guard, who had peaked in on the host, came back out and shouted for you both to stop. 

Of course, you didn’t. 

You both ran instead. 

Then an alarm was pulled and every guard the host paid seemed to be after you and Clint. 

“What are you going to do?” Willa asked as Clint pressed something into her hand as he ran past her and out of the door.

“We’ll meet you back at the safe house.” Clint told Willa. “Just take the hard drive and get it to Jerry. Una, tell me you’ve got the van ready.”

“Ready. I’ll meet Willa and Jerry at the extraction point.”

“Good.”

And for the next ten minutes, you and Clint were running through the streets and back alleyways of the town, running in separate directions for a while before bumping into each other down a side-ally. 

Footsteps were coming closer and the sound of bullets were flying through the air. 

“They don’t know what they’re aiming at.” 

“But they’ll find us soon.”

“If we run out now, they’ll shoot at us.”

“So what do we do?”

“I don’t know.” you looked at him, breathless, before looking back down the alley. 

Then it hit Clint. 

“I have an idea but I need you to trust me. Like, really trust me.”

“Jesus Christ, Barton. Just get on with it.” you finally called out as he tried to prevent the inevitability of his plan - despite you not knowing what it was. 

The footsteps were drawing closer and for a moment they stopped, a light flashed down the alleyway and voice talked before the running continued.

But none of that registered in the moment because your brain was short-circuiting since Clint’s bright idea was to kiss you. 

His hands came to your face and he could feel your hands on his arms, ready to push him off and probably punch him. But you didn’t. And, rather than the kiss being stiff and awkward…it was unlike any other. 

One of his hands still remained by the side of your face when the light shone down the path but his other came down your body, sending goosebumps in their wake, before he pulled you against him and he stepped closer pressing you between him and the wall. 

Your own hands travelled up to his neck and pulled him closer but once the footsteps died away, the kiss slowly came to an end leaving you both breathless against one another. 

“I think it worked.” 

Clint nodded, swallowing hard, as he looked at you. 

How had he never noticed the reflection of the stars in your eyes before? 

“I think it did. Are you gonna punch me now?”

Clint watched as you paused for a moment. 

“Not right now. But if they come back, I might.”

“We better go?”

You nodded. “We better go.”

You had to push yourself along because you knew, if you didn’t, you’d kiss him again and he’d simply kissed you to avoid getting caught, right? There would be no dire consequences after that kiss. 

But all Clint could do was scold himself as you both made your way back to the safe house. How had he never noticed the stars in your eyes before? Or how, in the morning, the rays of the sun shone back just as bright? He also scolded himself from allowing himself to emotionally indulge in the kiss he shared with you. You are his teammate. And he knew himself. 

He couldn’t let his heart get involved, or else there would be dire consequences. 

Initially, things felt…awkward. But, after four years, it was just an old memory, right? And, yeah, sure, the memory would be revisited from time to time whether independently or shared…kinda. Mostly, this was when the team would have drinks one night and would be talking about love lives and first kisses and worst kisses. 

“Alright, alright, alright. I’ll give you that one.” Una said, swirling her bottle of beer. “But kissing to avoid something, that can't work, can it?”

“It can.” 

Your mouth spoke the words before your brain could stop you. 

“And how would you know?”

You caught Clint’s smirk as he looked down to his beer. 

“I just do.”

“Oh, really?”

“Come on, tell us!” Willa cried. 

You shook your head with a suppressed laugh. “I’ve said too much.”

“No, come on!”

“Maybe some other time.”

“No fair.”

“Okay,” you smiled. “You tell us about what happened with Derek and your ‘worldly knowledge’ and I’ll tell you my story.”

Willa narrowed her eyes at you, playfully. “You play a clever game.”

You just sat back and smiled.

But despite all of this, four years on, neither you or Clint had seemingly changed. But he still felt like you were hiding something from him. 

Except, he’d find out soon enough. And not in a way either of you hoped he would. 

This time, you’d been called in on your day off. 

“What’s going on?”

Clint turned around from the monitor and was at first taken aback from your clothing. Usually, you wore black pants and a black t-shirt to work or a work shirt or, if the situation called for it, sand coloured cargo trousers and a breathable t-shirt. Though, that was usually when having to attend a military base outside of cooler weather. 

Instead, you wore a cosy jumper and dungarees that had paint splatter all over them, including your white pumps and small freckles of pain on the baby hairs that had escaped their cover of the hair bandanna. 

Clint also spotted the remnants of nail polish in your cuticles and light paint on the side of your hands. 

“We’ve just got- have you been decorating?”

You looked over yourself. “Oh, yeah. Felt like a change. Anyway, what’s going on?”

“We’ve just got wind of a hostage situation. We can’t make verbal contact with the abductor but they did send this out.”

It was a note. 

And it was through that note that led you and Clint making an extraction which was initially successful until you did a final sweep afterwards only to be knocked out when you spotted a door had been left ajar and the lights turned off. 

Clint, after not hearing your reply, came in after you. 

And that was how you both ended up waking up inside some beat down old home that had probably been designed in the 40s. 

His voice was hazy, but you heard Clint call your name. You also tried your best to take in a breath but was only met with a damp stench and the feeling of your lungs crushing you into shock. 

“Take it easy, he hit you pretty hard.”

After a few minutes, you finally gained some normality in your lungs but the sting was still there. 

“What happened?”

“After he went all sleeper agent on you, I came in and found you unconscious. I was trying to wake you when he stuck something in my neck.”

“I see you got the peaceful option.” 

“Funny.”

“Where the hell are we?” you asked, trying your best to look around. 

“I don’t know. I haven’t heard any cars so I’m gonna take a guess and say we’re in the middle of nowhere.”

“Well, that narrows it down.”

“Did you see who took us?”

“No.”

“Would you like to?”

You and Clint snapped your heads to the open space in front of you both. 

Out from the shadows appeared the guy who you had seen just before his gun came across your head and your body hit the ground. 

The man walked from one side of the room, to the other, screwing in the light-bulbs beneath the lampshades causing both you and Clint to squint at the brightness. You’d both been submerged in darkness for quite some time. 

“My name is Jack. I know, how original. It was actually my mother’s father’s name. Named after my grandfather, grand ol’ Jack. Lived till he was 92. Always said the best way to survive was to always tell the truth. That lies weighed on the soul. And to have a small shot of whiskey before going to bed. Said that was good for the heart since it quietened the mind.”

“Really touching story,” you cut him off. “But why are we here?”

“Don’t you get it?”

You and Clint looked at one another. Had you both missed a part of this conversation? 

“I tried to save those people in the warehouse.” Jack told both of you as he straddled a chair. “People in this world need saving from themselves. People are dying younger than they ever did. And it’s because of all the lies. The lies they keep from their parents, and their children and themselves. It’s all crushing their soul. And I knew…” Jack smiled, wagging his finger. “I knew the moment I saw you down there that yours was being crushed the most.”

“Saw me?”

Jack stood from his chair. “I was in the corner office, on the top floor. It has an excellent view. Whoever has that office next will love it. The accents on the wall, ah magnificent.” Jack kissed his fingers before continuing. “But it gave me a good scope. I understand not everyone will…agree with my methods, per say.”

“No, because you took people hostage.” Clint pointed out. 

“I was trying to save them! And I was finally getting through to them until those SWAT guys pulled out my team.”

“Again, because you had taken them hostage. And now you’ve taken us hostage.”

“This world needs saving!” Jack yelled. “It needs saving from the lies people tell and the secrets they all hide.”

“Alright!” you yelled out before calming your voice. “Alright. So…the world needs saving? Jack, do you really think you’re saving it…by killing people? The hold-up down on 9th? That was you, right? Those people you let go-”

“They let their souls free. They told the truth.”

“So, if we-” you looked at Clint before turning back to Jack. “If we tell you the truth, will you let us go?”

“Yes.” 

For a moment, the feeling in the room got lighter. Maybe there was a way out after all. 

“But you’ll only lie. No, you…your secrets are too big to just give up freely. You…you’re a take em’ to the grave kinda gal. So, no. I won’t let you go. Not until I know that it’s the truth.”

“How will you know?”

Clint regretted asking the question. 

“Because she’ll be begging to tell me. You both will.”

Neither of you knew how much time had passed but the spots from the light were getting duller and bigger. 

“No, no. You can not sleep yet. You haven’t freed your soul.”

“Why do we have to free our souls?” you asked, the taste of blood coming to your mouth. “What if I don’t want to be saved? You said it yourself. I’d rather take mine to the grave.”

“Oh, but you don’t. Not really.” 

Jack had been circling you and Clint for a while, as if he were a hunter, teasing you - waiting for you to beg to be killed. 

“No, I can see it in your eyes. The eyes never lie.” 

Jack levelled himself though he wasn’t close enough to knock out. His hands gripped your thighs as he hummed, annoyance clear in his expression as he tried to figure out your secret. 

“Perhaps you killed someone? No, that isn’t it. Maybe you ran away? Have a secret family? No, that’s not it either. The eyes never lie to me. What is it? What are you not telling me? What are you not telling yourself?”

Clint called your name and Jack saw the slightest change in you. So slight, in fact, even you didn’t feel it. 

“It’s him. It had something to do with your team. No, teammate. It’s him and just him.”

Jack pushed against your thighs so he could stand up straight. Quickly, he made his way over to Clint and circled him. 

“What is it? What is it about you, huh? What has her secret got to do with you? Let's see if we can find out.”

You heard the snap of a switchblade as it opened and the fight for Jack to steady Clint but before he could make the first cut or slice, you cried out. 

“Stop! He doesn’t know! He- he doesn’t know. Please…just…just don’t hurt him. Please.”

Jack looked over to you and Clint’s name escaped your lips, both in pleading and question. 

“Oh…oh, this runs so much deeper than just a secret.”

You lowered your head for a moment. The pounding in your heart was only made harder by your own silent cries telling you to not say anything else. But there was a chance you’d both die, so why not tell him? Right? Maybe it would save your lives? Or would it only give Jack more ammunition to use? 

 “Doesn’t it?”

“Please…don’t.”

Jack knelt in front of you and gently touched your cheek before moving his hand down and grasping under your jaw, forcing your head up. 

“Tell me. Let me free your soul.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks, your heart crushing your lungs inside your chest. 

“If you don’t tell me, I will only hurt him more. And you don’t want to hurt him. Tell me. Help me save both of you. Tell me. No, tell him.”

Jack moved your head, forcing you to look at Clint with tear stained cheeks. 

“I’m sorry, Clint. I’m so sorry.”

Your name came from Clint’s voice, barely above a whisper. 

“You can admit it,” Jack said your name. “You committed the most heinous act an agent such as yourself can do, didn’t you? You created a danger, not only for him, but yourself.”

Clint said your name again, trying to move his hands only to find them still shackled to his chair. 

“You fell in love.”

You took in a breath, the beating feeling in your chest, turning into a stabbing feeling against your lungs. Your head remained down as you squoze your eyes shut, more tears escaping from your lids, down your lashes and onto your lap. 

“Please…”

You didn’t even know if Jack could hear you, but you pleaded with him anyway. 

“We need to hear you say it.”

You remained silent but then-

“Say it!”

Jack’s hand came to your face and pushed you to look at him. 

“Say it! Say it!”

You continued to plead with him until he pushed you back further and you screamed out. 

“I fell in love! I fell in love! Please! Stop! No! Please! I-I fell in love! I fell in love with him! Please! I-I fell in love with him. I’m in love with him!”

Jack stopped and waited a moment before pulling you back so all four legs of the chair were on the ground and he finally removed his hand from your face. 

“And there it is.” 

He was smiling. The look and sound of fear in your body had pushed him further but the defeated look on your face…that couldn’t be bought. That had to be created, by his hands. 

Clint looked between Jack and you and he didn’t know what to be more worried about. What Jack could possibly do to you next, or the fact that even he knew you were telling the truth to Jack. 

You were in love with him.

But he didn’t have long to sit and think about it because flashing lights suddenly came from behind the thick fabric that covered the broken windows, blocking out the light of the day and night. 

“No! No!” Jack shouted. “I still need to save them!”

It all happened so quickly, Clint barely caught the fact that Willa had rushed inside, Una arresting Jack and detaining him. Willa rushed over to Clint as Jerry came over to you.

“How did you find us?” Clint asked Willa as Jerry came behind you and picked the locks of your handcuffs. 

“Are you okay?”

Jerry knew it was a stupid question, even when you didn’t answer him. 

“A dog walker called it in. Said they could hear someone yelling as if they were in pain. He also knew no one has lived in this house since 1982.”

As Willa picked Clint’s handcuffs, Jerry had managed to get you out of yours and without looking back, you darted for the door. 

“Wait, wait,” Una called after you. “We need to wait for the medics.”

“Can you take me to the hospital?”

Una looked you over. She could see the clear look in your eyes. You didn’t want to stay here for another second. 

“Don’t you want to wait for Clin-”

“Now?”

Una nodded, radioing into Willa who was standing behind Clint, letting Jerry finish unpicking the locks. 

“Sure, I’ll call ahead.”

“Thank you, Willa.”

Hoping into the passenger seat, you shut the door as Una climbed into the driver’s seat and took off down the road and to the local hospital. 

“What happened in there?” Una asked you as she flicked her eyes from the road to you and back again. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Even with your hand shaking, you pushed your fingers across your face to try and wipe away the tears. 

By the time you arrived at the hospital, you were taken to a separate room where Una stayed in the waiting room, filling out your forms. Your hands were too shaky to even hold a pen and you could just about remember your own name. 

The doctor ran multiple tests and pushed the small cuts together with closure slips. 

“You’re all good but I’d like you to remain here for a couple hours, just in case there’s any change.”

You nodded and quietly thanked the doctor as she left. 

There were patches of dirt on your hands, as well as blood and old tears where they washed away the stains. 

After an hour, Una came in only to leave a few minutes later since she was called back to base to interrogate Jack. And, as she left, you slowly lowered yourself down on the hospital bed and, despite the noise in your head, you fell asleep. 

A few hours later, a nurse came in and woke up. 

“You can go home now, honey. We’re gonna need this bed.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” you tried to get up quickly but the nurse only laid a hand on your shoulder. 

“It’s okay, honey. Take your time. I read your chart, you took quite the hit. Your friend is waiting for you in the waiting room to take you home.”

You nodded, swinging your legs over the side. 

“Here. Take these for the headache.”

“Thank you.”

“No worries, honey.”

By the time you had grabbed your jacket and started walking down the hallway, you stalled when you saw who the nurse was talking about. 

If you had the energy, you probably would have run in the opposite direction. But you didn’t. You were tired and if the nurse hadn’t woken you, you probably would have slept for the next 24 hours. 

“Una was gonna come but I fought her for it.” Clint tried to smile but he could see your’s was just forced. 

“Look, what happened-”

“Clint, please…I– I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to go home.”

“Okay.”

The drive back was silent and awkward and by the time he pulled up, you looked at him for as long as you could stomach (which wasn’t long) before opening up the door and thanking him. 

And, the moment you pushed your key inside your door, you thought you were safe. That everything was finished for the day and you could deal with it tomorrow. 

But Clint got out of the car and called your name. 

“Wait!”

He took the porch steps two at a time and when he finally reached you, you forced yourself to look at him. 

“I need to say something.”

“You don’t have to say anything, Clint.”

“But I want to.”

“Please…I’d…I just want to forget what happened today. Please…I can’t do it again.”

“I know you’re scared and watching what he was doing to you…I was scared, too. I am. I am scared.”

“Clint,” you could see the look in his eyes and you shook your head. “No. Don’t. Don’t say anything you’re gonna regret.”

“The only thing I regret is not telling you earlier.” Clint told you. “Then maybe none of this would have happened.”

“Clint-”

“I-”

“Please.” 

Your hand flew to his chest and he stopped talking. “Please. Whatever you’re about to say…please wait. Wait for the right time.”

Finally, you looked at him and his hands came to the top of your arms, stroking downwards before holding you close. 

“Please…just wait.”

“Okay.”

That was all he said before kissing your head and saying it again. 

“Okay. I’ll wait.”

By the time you woke up in the morning, your mind had stilled and before it could get loud again, you started painting again. All of your furniture was covered and two out of the 6 walls you had planned to paint had been cleaned, stripped, sanded, coated and painted. 

And, just as you started on the third, a knock came to your door. 

“I just want to help.” Clint told you. “And, let’s be honest, last time you tried decorating this place on your own, you nearly knocked yourself out with paint cleaner.”

You, for the first time in the last 48 hours, smiled. 

“You can take the kitchen. There should be some new cupboards to keep you company.”

“You’re finally changing them?” Clint asked, entering the kitchen, his tool belt around his hips. 

“I am. Picked them out last week.”

“Thank god.” he said. “I hated the last ones.”

“Same.”

The rest of the day ran smoothly enough, despite what the last couple of days had revealed. Clint informed you that you and him both had the next two weeks off before either of you could go back into the field. He also helped fix the kitchen cabinets to the wall as well as install your new oven. You could have done it on your own, but having someone else there made it easier. Clint also helped you move around the heavier furniture and, when fixing the wiring to the lightbulb, he held the ladder steady under you so you wouldn’t fall. 

And for the following two days, neither of you mentioned anything about what happened with Jack. It was like nothing had ever happened in the first place. 

Until Clint decided he couldn’t wait anymore. 

It was easier, before the kiss, to shut off his feelings for you; that worry, that concern, that joy that exceeded more than just the smile of friendship. But after, they became much more clear. He saw the stars in your eyes and the light in your smile. He was more than just amazed at your talents of being an agent. Of course, those who joined Shield all had similar talents, but there was just something more about you. More to be figured out, more to learn, more to be desired and most of all, more to be loved. 

He couldn’t wait any longer. 

Sure, he’d been called stubborn before but now he was impatient. He’d let time slip by for six years and in that time there had been moments where he wanted to call out from the top of buildings that his feelings for you were more than that of a friend, of a teammate. But he couldn’t. 

There was always a mission or a job to be done or a date that got in the way. And now, there had been a raging lunatic that, if Willa and the rest of the team hadn’t landed when they did, could have killed you. He’d set your soul free, you’d been able to tell your secret. What was to stop him from not letting the rest of you go? What was stopping him from shooting you where you sat or using your life against his? 

Nothing. 

Because Clint couldn’t free himself. He couldn’t free himself from his chair or the shackles that kept him there. No matter how many times he called out your name or shouted for Jack to stop, he couldn’t free himself. He couldn’t get there. He couldn’t stop Jack from doing whatever he wanted to the women he fell in love with all those years ago. 

But he could do something now. 

So, as you stood beside him in the kitchen measuring out a plank of wood to fit on the wall above your stove, Clint looked at you and finally told you what he’d been wanting to tell you for years and what he was about to tell you two days ago before you begged him to wait, you not fully knowing whether he was going to reject you or tell you that he loved you. 

“I’m in love with you.”

Whatever you had been saying about the plank of wood and how you needed to get some more sandpaper from Home Depot quickly came to a stop as you stumbled over your words and looked at him. 

“What?”

“I’m in love with you.” Clint repeated. 

“No, Clint. Don’t-”

“I’m not just saying it because of what happened.” Clint assured you. “I should have told you years ago but I kept making excuses. But, after what happened, I don’t want to be able to find an excuse. I nearly lost you because I didn’t tell you sooner. I’m not losing you again. I’m in love with you.”

You were stunned to say the least. 

“I know, two days ago, you told me to wait. I was going to tell you when I got to the hospital but they told me you’d just fallen asleep. And then you told me to wait when I dropped you off and maybe I should, but I don’t want to. I don’t want to miss a chance to tell you again.”

Again, you were stunned into silence. 

“I’m in love with you.”

“I’m dizzy.” 

That was all you could say. All the information and realisation of every action made in the last six years all hit you at once. 

Swiftly, Clint pulled out one of the bar stools and you sat down holding your head. 

“You’re in love with me?”

“I’m in love with you.” Clint repeated. 

“You’re in love…with me? Me? The woman sat in front of you? Me?”

“Yes. I am in love with you.”

“Have you inhaled paint cleaner?”

Clint chuckled and pulled out a chair himself, sitting with his knees locked into yours before he took your hands in his. 

He stated your full name, “I am in love with you. And have been for the last six years.” Clint also stated your birthdate, star sign, address and badge number. “Does that clear it up?”

Your heart was beating in your chest so fast you thought it might actually explode. 

“Clint, I…I need to know you’re not just saying this because of what happened.”

Clint gave a small nod. “I have an idea but I’m gonna need you to trust me. Like, really trust me.”

You nodded and a moment later, Clint’s hands had moved from yours to your face, cupping your cheeks before pulling you in for a kiss. 

It was gentle and loving and unlike any other kiss you had experienced before. Other guys had taken what they wanted, forced the kind of kiss they wanted out of you. But not Clint. 

Somehow, he conveyed every emotion he could into the kiss and you couldn’t help but feel your mind wander back to your first kiss, down the side alleyway. That felt real. You had to convince yourself it was fake but this, and that, was real. 

It was all real. 

For a moment, you felt Clint smile into the kiss as your hands gripped at the collar of his checked shirt to pull him closer. A smile which you returned. 

“I’m in love with you.”

“I’m in love with you, too.”

Clint smiled and kissed you again, and again, and again. 

Despite everything that had happened, and everything that you had previously thought, you had come to realise that maybe it wasn’t so bad to learn to love and accept love in return. And in the years that passed, despite the dangers the job put you both in, it was nice to come home and be greeted with a familiar face and a warm embrace and to have a family you could both call your own. 

[bloodywickedlips]

Lessons and scars Pt5

"MATURE CONTENT MDI!!"

I woke up with a massive headache and went to grab my head but my arms were tied behind my back, as I opened my eyes, I saw I was in what looked like a wooden cabin and to my right was a knocked out Spencer.

“Reid, wake up” I hissed and saw him stir and hiss at his own headache.

“Where are we?” he asked and I looked around, noticing both of us were fully naked. “I don’t know but he took our clothes and probably the trackers as well” I explained to him as I realized both of us were stark naked, I stood up to see if I could find anything sharp to cut my ropes off, I found a knife on the table and cut my own ropes quickly and then Spencer’s.

“Stop right there” a voice said over a speaker and I stopped in my tracks. “Let us go, you have the wrong people” Spencer said as he stood up.

“Oh no I have the right people, now listen to my instructions and you will live. I want to watch you two do it and then you can go, as simple as that” he said and I scoffed knowing he didn’t let the people go afterwards.

“You ever hear about porn asshole?” I sneered out not believing this guy. “Do it or else” the unsub said and I stood still and Spencer did the same. A shot went off and I ducked quickly, I looked over to Spencer to see he was okay.

“Now start or the next one goes into one of you” he said and I shivered at realization.

“Please we aren’t a couple, we are undercover agents and our team will find us. Let us go before they get here” I called out and whimpered as another shot rang out and I felt my thigh burn as I fell down cursing.

“Okay okay we get it!” Spencer said as he walked over to me looking down at my bleeding leg. It went right through and Spencer helped me stand and I grit my teeth in pain.

“I don’t want to do this” I whispered out to Spencer and saw the hard stare in his eyes. “me neither, let’s just get it over with” he said and walked over to the bed. My heart was pounding out of my chest as I limped over to the bed, Spencer had ripped a piece of the sheet off and tied it tightly around the bullet wound. I screamed as he tied it and felt myself shake in pain.

“How should we…” I said to Spencer and he looked at the bed and motioned for me to get on.

“No I want her on top” the voice said and I swallowed hard as I climbed onto Spencer with his help. I couldn’t believe this was happening and I felt sick to my stomach doing this with someone watching. Spencer was leaned up against the headboard with me on his lap, it made my wound pull and I clenched my fists to push through the pain.

“How is he supposed to get hard while being shot at?” I shouted at the unsub and heard him chuckle.

“Don’t worry that won’t be a problem” he said back and I looked down to see Spencer blushing and avoiding me. “I gave him a little something to help with that issue” the unsub said and I pulled my lip in disgust.

“Just do it” Spencer said while looking away from me and it broke my heart all over again.

I leaned up and aligned him with me and sank down slowly, it hurt the further I went as I haven’t slept with anyone since Spencer.

Spencer hissed out at the feeling but he still kept his head to the side, not looking at me, in my mind I thought that this was not how I wanted us to be after I tell him everything. This is just wrong.

I stayed still for a bit to adjust to the stretch and jumped when the unsub yelled ‘Move’ through the speaker. I rolled my hips slightly and felt Spencer grab my hips. I moved more with Spencer’s help and then I noticed I was crying as I felt the wet tear land on my hand that was currently on Spencer’s chest.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” I said to him not knowing if it would be the last time we saw each other.

Spencer sat up more so he could wrap his arms around my waist and burry his head in my shoulder. “I hate you, I hate you” he chanted as a mantra in tune with our thrusts and it made me sob out knowing he meant it.

I felt my own release built and cried out as Spencer gave a very harsh thrust feeling me cum, I continued until I felt him grip me tighter and I knew he was close.

“Its okay spence, let go I’ve got you” I whispered as my hands threaded into his hair, he was breathing loudly in my neck and I felt him pulse inside of me and then I felt him cum but my chest burned as he moaned out “Maeve”.

I sat still as I realized he called out someone else’s name, was she his new girlfriend? My mind went blank as I got up off of him and grabbed a sheet to pull around myself. I felt dirty and sick as I sank down the wall, feeling numb.

Spencer laid on the bed as he caught his breath but also covered himself with the sheet. Neither on of us looking at each other, we were more strangers now than anything. The door opened and the unsub walked in with his gun aimed at me and ordered me to come with him. I didn’t look at Spencer as he led me out and shoved me in a different room.

“You filthy fucking whore” the unsub spat at me before his hand collided with my cheek, I fell down but went to sit up but his boot was pressed to my wound and I screamed out in pain, it left me dizzy and I felt him pull me up into a chair and proceeded to tie me to it.

“You are all the same! Worthless sluts” he roared as his fist connected with my face splitting my lip.

“Oh yeah and what does it say about you, you watched and forced people to have sex for your pleasure. Why, you can’t get it up?” I asked mockingly and regretted it the instant his boot connected to my ribs, knocking me back along with the chair.

“FBI freeze!” I heard a voice yell out but I couldn’t place who it was as my eyes were zoning in and out of focus. I heard a shot go off and watched as the unsub fell to the ground before I blacked out completely.

‘Beep beep beep’ I heard as I scrunched my face in annoyance. “Turn it off” I whispered and heard a gasp to my side. “Nurse she’s awake!” I heard Penelope shout and I looked over to her and smiled.

“Garcia I love your voice but please bring it down a notch” I said and grimaced at the sound of my own voice. “Sorry” she said and I shook my head to say it’s okay.

“What happened?” I asked as I looked over to Morgan in the chair fast asleep but my voice stirred him awake.

“Oh thank god your awake” he said and took my hand in his own and kissed my knuckles.

“What happened?” I asked again and saw Morgan give Garcia a side glance and then looked back at me. “You took one hell of a beating sweetheart, but we got there in time. You have one gsw to the thigh, split lip and three broken ribs” he said and then what happened came back in flashes. My eyes went wide and I sat up but moaned in pain at the movement.

“Spencer is he?” “He’s okay, he’s resting at home. The unsub took his anger out on you” Morgan explained and I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Guys she needs some rest” the doctor said as he stepped inside and I said goodbye to Morgan and Garcia as they left. Spencer was okay and that’s all that mattered right now.

I was sent home three days later on  strict bed rest and no returning to work for two months.

The team stopped by when they could, all except Spencer but they all said he was doing better and seemed okay. It gave a little peace to know he was better. Physical therapy was going great as I could walk without my crutches now two months later. I was heading into the office but I wanted to stay home as I didn’t feel well. But I blamed it on nerves to see Spencer again.

I barely made it to my desk and when I saw Spencer, I felt the bile rise and rushed as quickly as I could to the bathroom. I emptied my stomach contents viscously and then rinsed my mouth with water and wet my face and neck.

“You okay?” JJ asked as she stepped inside and I nodded and smiled. “yeah probably just ate something bad” I replied and walked with her back to the office.

I started off with light duty until I was cleared to be in the field again and to say it was boring as hell would be an understatement of the year. Once the all clear was given I was the first one on the jet, excited to get out and be a full agent again.

I saw Spencer sitting in the corner and decided to approach him softly “Can we talk?” I asked him and he looked up at me and then down again “Nothing to talk about” he said and I frowned as I slipped into the seat opposed to him. “Reid what happened we don’t have to talk about it, but I want to clear the air between us. Please I can’t not talk to you, I miss you” I said to him and watched as he put his book down.

“Nothing happened that we need to talk about. You decided you were done with our relationship without talking to me about it. So for what it’s worth we are just colleagues, nothing more and nothing less” he said and picked his book up again.

I stared at him in disbelieve and just stood up to go back to my own seat. Spencer would speak to me when necessary, about the case but it ended there. I wish I could explain to him why I did it but then I knew he would try and get the guy and get hurt.

Getting sick when landing and all through out the case had me race to the doctor as soon as we got back and filled all our reports. I stepped inside the doctor’s office as soon as my name was called and nervously sat down.

“Miss Croft, what brings you in today?”  she asked me and I took a deep breath to calm myself.

“I think I'm pregnant” I said out loud and watched as the doctor smiled and stood up. “How long do you think you are?” she asked me and I thought back to that night. Closing my eyes to stop the memories from flooding in I told her just over three months.

“Right let’s do an ultra sound and afterwards we can pull blood if we don’t see anything” she said and I gulped as I stepped forward to lay on the table. The gel was cold as it touched my stomach and she moved it around a bit. My heart was pounding in my chest and I could have sworn I was hearing my heart beat out loud. “Congratulations, you hear that? That’s the baby’s heartbeat. I would say you are just under 14 weeks pregnant which means we need to get you on prenatal meds as soon as possible” she said and I turned my head. It wasn’t my heartbeat I was hearing, it was the baby’s heartbeat.

[thepalerimitation]

Early 2000s crime show with deadpan line delivery, overdramatized theme, comforting father figure, and eight seasons or more.

[badadboombadabing26]

Hot girls have a Criminal Minds Fall, Bones Winter, Mentalist spring, and Psych Summer

[masterwords]

hotchgan + bombs (1 of ?)

[underneaththefloor]

Roleplay Fandoms

As I do not only do fandoms I'm opened to fandomless if the base of the plot and characters are well thought out. (This post may be altered and changed)

Certain ones will have certain symbols of bullets if they are more popular for me to be interested at the time. It doesn't mean I won't role-play the others, but it would just mean I would need more motivation to do so. (But as of now I'm open to a lot)

Fandoms(Movies)

MCU(Marvel Cinematic Universe, up to Endgame)

Harry Potter movies

RENT(The musical)

Interview with the Vampire

Lord of the ring movies

The Hobbit movies

Ultraman Rising

The black phone

-Bohemian Rhapsody

Rock of Ages

Súīvîde squad

Rocky horror picture show

The breakfast club

The hunger games

-Star wars

TV shows

-The vampire diaries

-The originals

-Interview with the vampire the series

-Game of thrones

-House of the dragon

Fear the walking dead

The boys

Euphoria

-Criminal minds

Sofia the first

Julie and the phantoms

-Once upon a time

Bridgerton

-Stranger things

Shoresy

Loki

-WandaVision

Anime

JJK

Kamisama Kiss

-Kamagami no asobi

Demon Slayer

-Idolish7

-Uta no prince sama

My hero academia

The wolf children

One piece live action

Spy X Family

-Hypnosis Mic

-Hunter X Hunter

Full metal alchemist

Kiss him not me

Fairy tale

Black butler

Ouran highschool host club

Yona of dawn

Yuri on ice

Your lie in april

Death note

Sk8

Attack on Titan