#criminal if you ask me
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it's exam season (again) so i needed a new hyperfixation and started watching hotd and someone pls explain the science behind why i'm obsessed with some blond boy with an eyepatch intent on killing everyone??? i don't even like men???? is it the anger+knife skills?? i'm really really hoping it's the knife
#on the other hand i feel so robbed of the “i'm so mad so i've gotta burn down a whole village” scene#like hello why would you not include that#criminal if you ask me#hotd
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Sondheim must be rolling in his grave at these prices.
#the way the producers did the absolute bare minimum to make this show even remotely accessible (the worst lottery odds i've ever experienced#criminal if you ask me#no under 30 discounts?#no allocated tickets for tdf or other accessible discount programs?#they recouped months and months ago so they were well able to make some tickets affordable#but no god forbid we make theatre accessible#let's set a new record for worst possible ticket pricing
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terrible profilers
(aka the team meets early seasons!spence's not-so-secret girlfriend)
a/n: this came to me in my dream last night and i cannot get over it, pls send asks/requests and tell me what you thought!
cw: reader has she/her pronouns, the team is nosy, my niche personal headcanons of how i think spencer would text, probably more tech inaccuracies
wc: 3.5k
part one
(reblogs are the only way to promote fics on tumblr! please reblog if you enjoyed it :) )
mlist
The moment Spencer walks into the bullpen, he knows something’s up. Garcia never replied to the text he’d sent on Friday night, and he’d hoped she was just busy on their first weekend off in a while, but it’s clear there’s more. Clutching the strap of his satchel, he walks to his desk, observing the strange tension blanketing the room. For one, Hotch and Gideon are in the bullpen, standing in the corner speaking in hushed tones. Weird. They usually go to one of their offices to talk, and either way, they usually are stuck in their offices until lunchtime when they don’t have cases. Another thing. JJ and Penelope are standing around Elle’s desk, which isn’t out of the ordinary, but they’ve swivelled around to stare at Spencer like he’s an alien (which they do on occasion, but Spencer is pretty sure he hasn’t been strange yet. He just walked in!). Derek is sitting on Elle’s desk, leaning over to huddle with the three girls, but he’s frozen with his mouth open, like he just shut up for some reason.
“Uh… Good morning.” Spencer furrows his brows, but tries to shrug it off, more interested in the smell of coffee emanating from the kitchenette. Setting down his bag, he quickly busies himself with pouring his signature overly-sweet (according to you) coffee.
It’s like his movements snap a thread that has been holding his colleagues together, and they suddenly start bustling around the bullpen again. Derek sidles up beside him as he’s stirring in sugar, and Spencer braces himself for some Morgan-esque prod. But what he says has Spencer confused.
“Kid. You know you can tell me anything, right?”
Ok, something is going on. Spencer has worked with Derek since he was 22, and they’ve fallen into a very comfortable dynamic ever since. But neither of them have ever felt the need to reassure the other of their closeness.
“What’s up, Morgan? No jabs today?”
Derek stiffens, like he’s been caught in a lie, and scrambles to reply.
“Well… We- Um, Garcia worried about you on Friday. What was up with you leaving so suddenly?”
Spencer has to bite back a smile, memories of you, coming to ‘O Keefe’s just to see him, flooding into his mind. But he answers as smoothly as possible, still turned away from Derek as he elaborates.
“Oh, I felt a bit sick. I think it’s going back and forth from the more arid parts of the country that did it. Did you know, travelling between warmer and colder climates makes you more susceptible to contracting viruses because it strains your immune and musculoskeletal systems, causing the feedback loop of homeostasis to-” Derek puts a hand on his arm, and Spencer quiets.
“Okay, okay, pretty boy, I get it.”
With that, he walks off, and Spencer is left at the kitchenette, stirring his coffee, confused. It’s not like it was a lie, he was feeling a bit nauseous in the bar, so you insisted that you go home. He recovered that same night over a cup of tea, Metropolis on the television, and you cuddled up on the couch next to him.
When he walks back to his desk, mug in hand, he calls out to JJ, still standing by Elle’s desk.
“JJ, no cases today? …JJ?” The blonde is looking at him, but his words seem to fly right over her head, until Elle pokes her shoulder.
“Oh! No, the cases I’m being called about are still pending, we’re probably not leaving on anything until tomorrow.” Spencer smiles softly, glad to have at least one more night sleeping at home this week. Because of his reverie, he doesn’t notice the way JJ, Penelope and Elle are staring at him, befuddled expressions on their faces.
The day continues to be a little weird, much to Spencer’s chagrin. Around 1pm, Gideon emerges from his office again. This, already, is out of the blue. Gideon only leaves his office an average of 3.78 times a day, mainly to go to Hotch’s office, or to go home. This time, however, Gideon marches to Spencer’s desk.
Gideon comes to a stop next to Spencer’s desk chair, and it’s all he can do to muster a blank face and look into his mentor’s eyes.
“Hey, Gideon. What’s… What’s going on?”
The older man sighs wearily, looking down his nose at Spencer, looking uncannily like Spencer’s highschool Calculus teacher when she got irritated at him for being a ‘13 year old know-it-all’.
“Reid. You weren’t sick on Friday, were you?” What is happening? Spencer doesn’t lie, he’s never told Gideon something untrue, so this is incredibly out of the blue.
“Huh? No, what’s wrong? I felt nauseous, which could’ve been a symptom for an inner ear problem, inflammatory bowel disease, gastroenteritis…” Spencer continues to rattle off a list of things he could have had, not noticing the uncharacteristically soft, paternal gaze that Gideon has trained on him.
“...and even a brain tumour, but it was probably because I drank more than I usually do. Why do you think that’s not true?” Spencer finishes his little speech, looking up at Gideon with a confused expression. There’s nothing else the older man can do but sigh, patting his shoulder softly.
“Okay, Reid. Glad you’re feeling better now.” With that, the experienced profiler walks away, not bothering to reply to Spencer’s continued questioning:
“Gideon! What’s wrong? Why are you-” Gideon’s office door slams shut.
Unfortunately, Spencer cannot ignore the rest of the signs, spending the rest of the day in a state of coiled anxiety. Something is going on, but he can’t get anyone to tell him.
Derek and Elle are constantly glancing over at him, unreadable expressions on their faces. Penelope keeps finding excuses to go to Spencer’s desk, and even if Spencer wasn’t a profiler, he’d be able to see the words bubbling up in her throat, but she never says anything.
JJ doesn’t come talk to him at all, which is strange. Instead, she shoots him knowing looks whenever she’s in the bullpen, sending Spencer into a spiral every time she doesn’t say anything about why they’re all acting weird.
He’s even caught Hotch and Gideon peeking through the blinds over their office windows to look at Spencer, with the analytical looks they get when they’re observing a crime scene on their faces. It’s driving Spencer crazy, and he has to tell someone.
You’re leaving your desk at the university when your phone buzzes.
SPENCE <3: Hi. I looked normal when I left the house, right?
Your brow furrows at the text. Normally Spencer isn’t a fan of texting while he’s at work, and you’d told him multiple times how handsome he looked when he left the apartment this morning. He’s wearing his striped white button down and the purple tie you bought him for his birthday last year, he looks pretty. And you made sure to tell him so.
YOU: hi <3
YOU: no spence you look pretty i told you this morning didnt i?
SPENCE <3: You did, thank you. Everyone’s acting weird at work, and I can’t think of what it could be.
YOU: maybe its something with a case?
SPENCE <3: They would tell me if it was that, right?
YOU: ur right
YOU: if you cant think of it with that big beautiful brain its probably something to do with them
There’s a solid minute of silence before he texts you back, and you grin to yourself as you walk through the halls. You can see the flush growing over his face in your mind’s eye, the way he does every time you pay him a cheesy compliment.
SPENCE <3: I guess so. They won’t tell me anything about it, which is strange.
You frown a little, imagining his frustration at being out of the loop. Spencer has expressed his love for his coworkers to you many times, but he’s also told you about his struggles feeling like the ‘baby’ of the office, and the way it makes him feel isolated at times. Racking your brain to think of a way to cheer him up, you check the time on your watch (the twin of which is settled on Spencer’s wrist).
YOU: its nearly 6
YOU: if i leave my building now i can make it to your office in 30mins
YOU: i can pick you up and we could get thai for dinner
YOU: ?
The reply is instantaneous, and you smile, looking forward to seeing him earlier than you’d expected today.
SPENCE <3: That sounds great. I’m finishing up here but text me when you’re in the lobby and I’ll come down.
SPENCE <3: I need to go, I’ve been texting you from the bathroom.
SPENCE <3: See you soon :-)
The last half hour of Spencer’s workday flies by, unlike the way the clock had crawled previously. He finishes up the consults he was working on for the day, and begins packing up the moment the clock hits 18:27.
Derek and Elle are still sneaking glances at him, but Spencer couldn’t care less at this point. As he closes the flap of his satchel, his phone buzzes in his breast pocket. He can’t help but whip out his phone immediately, missing the bewildered looks that pass between his fellow profilers as he smiles down at the screen.
Y/N L/N: in the lobby now! i forgot how fancy it is here i feel underdressed
He doesn’t bother replying, instead opting to leave the bullpen through the glass doors, nodding at Derek and Elle, and pressing the elevator button immediately. He’s so engrossed in his thoughts as he stares at the closed doors, that he realises far too late what’s happening behind him.
He can hear the sounds of shuffling feet, a squeak of surprise (Penelope), hissed insult (Elle to Derek), and a firm clearing of a throat. Hotch. After sighing petulantly, Spencer turns on his heels to find the entire BAU team standing there, faces just as confusing as they’ve been all day.
“I’d ask you what’s wrong, but none of you gave me an answer the last 23 times I asked, so.”
There’s a beat of silence, before Hotch, of all people, says, “Reid, we need to… ask you something. About last Friday.” That’s strange. Spencer cocks his head in confusion.
“What about it? I already told Morgan and Gideon, I was feeling sick, but it turns out it was just that I’d just drank more than I was used to.”
Penelope looks like she’s about to burst, and finally, she blurts it out, voice slightly shrill. “Reid! Who is she?”
“Who is who?”
Derek butts in, a hand on Penelope’s shoulder. “Kid, that girl. The girl you were… close to, on Friday. At the bar?” Oh. That’s what they’re talking about?
“That was Y/N. My girlfriend. Are you mad I didn’t introduce you guys? I thought you were all busy.”
Spencer sees six sets of jaws drop. There’s more silence, before JJ croaks out, “Girlfriend?”
It’s a bit of a sight, to be honest. Penelope has clutched on to Derek, and Derek on to Elle. JJ is gobsmacked, eyes bulging out of their sockets. Even Hotch and Gideon look the most shocked Spencer has ever seen them. But why?
“Uh, yeah. She came to see me because we’d had plans before we decided to go out. Then when she found out I felt sick we went home.”
Gideon looks a little green, and when no one makes a sound, Hotch speaks, his normally stoic voice coming out a little shaky. “Reid, we didn't- We didn’t know you were seeing anybody.”
What? Now they’re being even weirder. Spencer can hear the elevator doors open behind him, but he doesn’t bother. This is something he has to get to the bottom of.
“How did you not know? I’m sure I’ve mentioned having plans with her multiple times. Elle, I told you about the time I went to the movies in New York with her, when we were on that case.” Elle looks more shocked, if that’s possible, but doesn’t say a word.
“Garcia, I asked you to help me find florists that have Gibraltar campions in Vegas that one time.” Penelope jolts, muttering under her breath about ‘idiot geniuses and their mothers’.
“Gideon, I asked you for advice on how to ask her out!” Gideon stiffens, remembering the time Spencer had asked him about his ex-wife. Was that Spencer asking for advice?
“I ran into you, JJ and Morgan, when I was with her, don’t you remember? She was in the aisle over” Derek distinctly remembers a time at the bookstore, they’d seen Spencer, but not noticed anyone with him. JJ shamefully recalls being too busy making fun of Spencer’s heart-studded tie to look around.
“Hotch, I told you about her! When I added her to my emergency contacts?” At this, Hotch pales. A year ago, Spencer had come to him with a request to change his 1st emergency contact from his mother to a Y/N L/N. How he never registered that this was a girlfriend, Hotch would never know, but he stares fixedly at his shoes as he contemplates quitting his job as a profiler.
Spencer looks at them, mystified. How did they not know? It’s not like he was ever hiding you! Of course, Spencer wanted to keep you to himself, so he didn’t talk about you that much, but they were profilers. He assumed they’d known, and just didn't want to embarrass him.
His phone buzzes twice, and he pulls it out to see another text from you.
Y/N L/N: spence are you coming
Y/N L/N: a guy in a suit is eyeing me weird he knows i dont belong come save me
A happy sigh leaves him, before he remembers the people standing in front of him, still gobsmacked. He scrubs a hand down his face wearily, and mutters slowly, as if he’s not sure if he wants to do this.
“She’s downstairs right now, we were going to take the metro home together. Do you… Do you guys want to meet her?” Penelope brightens up, and the rest of the team seem in higher spirits, despite their continued disappointment in themselves. Warily, Spencer opens the elevator door with a press of a button, and they all file in obediently.
“Please don’t be weird.”
“My good doctor, I would never!” He eyes Garcia with a fearful expression, but presses the ground floor button anyway. As the doors close, a strangled shout leaves JJ’s mouth.
“Wait, you live together?”
You are sitting on a bench inside the FBI Headquarters. No matter how many times you drop Spencer off or pick him up, this will always be surreal to you. And, right now, it’s not just surreal, it’s a little scary.
A real Danny Ocean type guy is sitting on a bench across the room, talking on the phone and eyeing you. Clearly, you don’t exactly look like an agent, you know that. Dressed in the uniform of a PhD student, jeans and an oversized Doctor Who t-shirt (Spencer’s), you know that you look out of place.
You’re just hoping Spencer walks out of the elevator before you get escorted out on suspicions that you’re a spy or something.
Like some deity has heard your words, you look up at the ding of the elevator to see Spencer… and a whole gaggle of people behind him, slapping at his shoulders and barraging him with questions. He looks harried, a line between his pretty eyes.
The line disappears, though, when he locks eyes with you. His eyes light up, and his steps grow in length, before he's left his entourage behind, at least for a couple of seconds.
He uses this time to explain to you: “Hi hello I'm so glad you're here and I need to tell you something-” As if on instinct, your hands come up to rest on his upper arms, thumbs moving in circles soothingly as he continues to ramble.
“-and well, they didn't know about you somehow? Which is crazy to me because you know I don't hide you so I don't know where they got that from but either way they were acting crazy, so I suggested they come meet you, and…” The group of people you now recognize to be the BAU have caught up to him, eyes darting between your face and Spencer's. His shoulders slump, and the agitated look returns, if a little less intense.
“Well, here they are.” He motions to the group behind him. “These are my coworkers, Jennifer Jareau, Elle Greenaway, Penelope Garcia, Aaron Hotchner, Jason Gideon, and Derek Morgan. Guys, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.”
Rising on your toes to see over his shoulder, you wave with a smile, eyes zeroing in on Penelope Garcia, who looks like she's vibrating from excitement, shouldering past Spencer to hold both of your hands.
“Hi! It's so good to meet you! I'd say I've heard a lot about you, but you know that's a lie, we didn't realize you existed until 10 minutes ago, but oh my god! You're here! You're so pretty- Spencer, she's so pretty!” She's practically bouncing up and down, causing Spencer to laugh sheepishly.
“Yeah, Garcia, I know that.” The next few minutes are a barrage of introductions and handshakes, all so brief that you can only get quick first impressions of them all.
Penelope is incredibly kind, not letting go of your hands until Spencer pries her off of you, telling you that you have to come out on girl's night with us, exactly like Spencer described her.
Elle is nearly intimidatingly cool, giving you a handshake and a smile, mentioning that she likes your eyeliner.
Aaron (Hotch? You're not sure how to refer to him) is nowhere near as stoic and intimidating as Spencer makes him out to be, breaking into a smile as he introduces himself, and grinning even wider when you congratulate him and his wife on their newborn child.
JJ is the sweetest. You've heard a lot about Spencer's best friend, and she lives up to expectations, squeezing you into a chaste hug with warm words.
Gideon is a little terrifying. He gives you a handshake, quirking the side of his lips in what you assume to be a smile, but saying very little beyond an introduction. You know how highly Spencer thinks of him, and hope he will warm up to you (Spencer is over the moon that he smiled, and tells you Gideon loved you later that night).
Derek is exactly how you expected him to be. Somehow, he makes you feel wholly comfortable after a single comment, and promises to regale you with all the Spencer stories you'd want (you see him punch Spencer in the arm, grinning and saying he approved).
Spencer pulls you away from them as quick as he can, citing your dinner plans as an excuse. He slings an arm around your waist, leading you out the door as you wave over your shoulder.
“It was great to meet you guys! We should go out to dinner or something!” You hear mixed shouts of agreement from behind you, before the doors shut and it's just you and Spencer, on the sidewalk outside the building.
It's butterfly-inducing, the way you can see the tension leave his shoulders when he turns to look down at you, brown eyes shining.
“I'm sorry that was so last-minute, I know they can be… a lot.” You giggle at the weariness in his tone, resting your forearms on his shoulders.
“They were really nice, Spence. I'm glad to finally meet them. They didn't know who I was?” He sighs, hands tightening slightly on your waist.
“I don't know what goes on with them half the time. I've told them things about you so many times, but they were just being dense, I suppose. They saw us on Friday, at ‘O Keefe’s, and they had no idea I was seeing someone!” He bends to rest his forehead in the crook of your neck with a sigh. As if on instinct, your hands come up to play with his hair.
“I guess they would have found it a little strange that you acted like nothing had changed, huh? Is that why they were being weird today?” He grumbles unintelligible words into your skin, before raising his head to look at you.
“I guess… You know I wasn't hiding you, right? I really thought they knew about you,” The earnestness on his face makes you want to implode, his thumbs rubbing minutely on your waist. Speaking would pop the bubble you've found yourselves in, so you find the best next option for you to show him your assertion.
Your hands roam up his neck to cup either side of his jaw, and slow, slow, slowly, you rise to your toes and kiss him.
Suddenly, Spencer's not worried anymore.
#divas send me an ask and tell me what you thought!!!!#requests are welcome!!#reader is so self-indulgently me in this miniseries#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fic#posted from my phone bc im at the airport tell me if there are any formatting mistakes pls
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another batch of humanformers! have some eviiiiiil people!
I just cant help myself when it comes to human designs they are so fun to draw
#transformers#maccadam#tf art#NO ONE can convince me that they’re smooth faced and conventionally attractive#they are a sleazy conniving gang of war criminals!!!#starscream#soundwave#shockwave#megatron#sentinel prime#airachnid#d-16#ravage#humanformers#what’s under soundwave’s mask you ask?#another mask!!!#i imagine he has all his cool mech stuff under his hoodie#so you’ll be facing off with this redditor looking aah and then he unsheathes a cannon from under his sleeve
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Could we see a scene redraw in your style of Ford hugging Stanley 👉🏼👈🏼
i've been wanting to do this one for a while tbh
#this scene always makes me cryyy#jk simmons was cooking in the studio w the line delivery#gravity falls#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle stan#ford pines#stanford pines#🧪evil art#asks#hope this was the one you wanted anon. i cant think of another scene where theyre hugging aside from wanted criminals. which ive already dr#wn
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Spencer x male!reader dry humping drabble 🤗
It was a late night, you and Spencer had work in the morning but you decided against sleep after a few to many lingering kisses and soft touches.
You were both high on each other feeling around for touch and sensation. You kiss him slow and long pulling him into you closer and closer.
Spencer couldn’t help but moan into your kiss as you grab his ass and let your hand wander to his leg pulling it up over yours. With his leg on top the fabric of his shorts clenched around him tightly forcing his cock to feel the friction between your leg and his shorts.
He groans at the feeling and pushes himself against you chasing the feeling of release. You knot your hands in his hair as you kiss him with a grin.
“Mmmh you like that baby?” you say grinning into his kiss
“Are you really that desperate for me right now?”
Spencer’s cock twitches at your words as he moves himself against you while you rub his ass slowly. Spencer grinds against your leg, his dick leaking with precum into his shorts and onto your sweatpants.
He becomes more desperate, his pace moving faster and his breathing getting heavier with the feeling of his cock moving against your leg. You begin moving your hips to his pace causing more friction, the sensation being all too much for him.
Your hand leaves his ass and makes its way to the space between his cock and your leg. You place you hand palm facing up to cup his cock in your hand.
“Come on baby you want it so bad work for it.” You whisper into his ear with a mischievous grin.
He whines into your neck feeling your hand against his dick. He grinds slowly into your hand moving both your bodies to his pace against the bed.
Spencer lets out breathless moans as he grinds into your hand, his body moving faster and faster.
“mmhh ah I-god I can’t please” he begs as his hard cock throbs against you.
“Please please oh my god”
You smile at him and pull his head back with your hand in his hair, you bring your face close to his his face flushed with lust as you tease him with a kiss.
“You started it beautiful why not finish it hmm?”
You push your leg up against his cock removing your hand and placing it back on his ass using it to guide his hips against you.
“Come on baby you can do it”
Spencer whimpers at your demand and obeys it with ease. His moans filled with want and desperation. Spencer moves his dick against you reaching for his high with the little that you give him. As his pace becomes faster his mind cannot keep up with his words and your name is the one thing he can bring himself to say.
“Mmnghh Y/N pls Y/N”
You give in to his desire as you bring your lips to his kissing him passionately while his cock throbs. You move against his dick, bringing him closer and closer to finishing. Your hand never leaves his ass while you grab him and move him against you harder. He moans into your mouth as he cums all over his shorts. His moans become pants of lust against your neck as his body melts into yours.
“You did so good baby, I love you.” You coo at him, brushing your fingers through his hair and placing sweet gentle kisses on his head.
“I love you too Y/N.”
#criminal minds#spencer reid#sponce#spencer reid x male reader#sub!spencer reid#sub spencer reid#THIS JS FOR#GHAT ANON THAT LEFT ME AN ASK#i accidentally deleted my entire response so hopefully#you see this and hopefully you like it 😞🙏#asks 🫶
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Love “Shield of Silence” ❤️❤️ What about this time around Hotch need the rescue and they're in a relationship? Add anything you want. Tag me later. Thanks!! :)))
Title: "Tables Turned"
Part two for "shield of Silence"
(Aaron hotchnerr x fem!reader)
It had been a long case, the kind that seemed to stretch on forever with no clear answers. You and the team had been in Denver for almost a week now, chasing leads that seemed to go nowhere. Exhaustion clung to every agent like a second skin, and tempers were fraying at the edges. Still, you had a job to do, and as always, Aaron Hotchner was at the helm, holding everything together with his calm authority.
The only problem? Chief Jenny Montgomery.
From the moment you and Hotch had arrived at the local precinct, you could feel the Chief’s eyes lingering on him. At first, it was subtle—a little too much eye contact, a smile that lasted just a fraction longer than necessary. You didn’t think much of it, chalking it up to her trying to be friendly. But as the days wore on, her attention became impossible to ignore. She was practically hovering over Hotch at every opportunity, leaning in too close, her hand grazing his arm under the guise of handing him files. It was infuriating.
What made it worse was that Hotch, ever the professional, remained oblivious—or at least, he pretended to be. It was one of the things you loved most about him: his ability to keep his cool under pressure, always staying focused on the case. But this? This was testing your limits.
You’d been dating Aaron for nearly six months now. It had started slow, after that moment in the conference room when he confessed his feelings for you. But what you had was real, and it was strong. You’d been through a lot together, and the rest of the team knew about the relationship. They’d accepted it, even supported it—after all, they knew better than anyone how much Aaron needed someone to lean on after everything he’d been through.
But Jenny Montgomery didn’t seem to care. And you were not in the mood to play nice.
It was the third time that day that she’d sidled up to Hotch during a meeting, her body language screaming interest. You were across the room with Spencer and Rossi, trying to keep your attention on the case file in front of you, but your eyes kept drifting back to the two of them. Every time she laughed—loudly, unnecessarily—you felt your grip on your pen tighten.
Spencer glanced up at you, clearly noticing your growing tension. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” you muttered through gritted teeth, not taking your eyes off the pair. Hotch was standing there, arms crossed, looking as stoic as ever while Chief Montgomery laughed at something he’d said. But you knew him too well. You saw the slight tightening of his jaw, the way his eyes flickered with discomfort. He wasn’t enjoying this any more than you were.
You stood abruptly, unable to take it any longer. “Excuse me.”
You didn’t storm over—that wasn’t your style. But your footsteps were firm, your body language making it clear that you were not to be trifled with.
“—and I was just telling Agent Hotchner that we have this great little spot in town if he wanted to join me for—”
“That won’t be necessary,” you interrupted, your voice calm but laced with a steel edge. “Agent Hotchner already has plans.”
Montgomery’s eyes flickered with surprise, but she quickly recovered, giving you a tight smile. “Oh? I wasn’t aware.”
You smiled back, but it didn’t reach your eyes. “You are now.”
The tension in the room thickened, but you didn’t care. You weren’t going to stand by and let this woman flirt with your boyfriend right in front of you. Hotch shifted beside you, his lips twitching as if he was trying to suppress a smile. He hadn’t said a word, but you could tell he was enjoying this—probably far more than he should.
Montgomery’s smile faltered. “Well, I didn’t mean to intrude. I just thought—”
“You’ve been ‘just thinking’ all week,” you said, your voice still deceptively calm. “But let me make something clear: Aaron is taken. He’s with me. So, whatever little lunch date you had planned? Cancel it.”
The silence that followed was deafening. You could feel eyes on you—from your team, from the officers nearby. You didn’t care. Chief Montgomery stood frozen for a moment, clearly not used to being spoken to like that. She stammered something under her breath and walked away, her face flushed with embarrassment.
As soon as she was out of earshot, you let out a long breath, the adrenaline coursing through you. You half expected Hotch to give you a stern look, to remind you about professionalism and keeping your cool.
But instead, he laughed.
It started as a small chuckle, then grew into full-blown laughter—the kind that had him clutching his stomach, gasping for air as he tried and failed to compose himself. His face turned red, and the sound echoed through the precinct, drawing even more eyes in your direction.
You stared at him in disbelief. “Aaron, are you—”
He shook his head, still laughing too hard to speak. His laughter was so out of character that the entire team was gaping at him like he’d lost his mind. Even Spencer looked confused, his brows furrowed as if he were trying to solve a puzzle.
“Hotch?” Morgan ventured, his voice laced with amusement. “You good, man?”
Hotch wiped tears from his eyes, finally managing to catch his breath. “I’m fine,” he gasped, his voice still thick with laughter. “I just—oh, God—I’ve never seen you like that, Y/N. You—” He dissolved into laughter again, leaning against the nearest desk for support.
You couldn’t help but smile, even as you felt the heat rise in your cheeks. “You’re not mad?”
“Mad?” Hotch looked at you, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “Y/N, that was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve never seen anyone shut someone down like that.”
“I wasn’t going to stand there and let her flirt with you.”
“Clearly,” he said, still grinning. “And for the record, I would’ve turned her down myself if you hadn’t beaten me to it.”
You folded your arms, trying to hide your own amusement. “You didn’t exactly seem in a hurry to stop her.”
Hotch stepped closer, his smile softening as he reached out to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. “I didn’t need to. I knew you’d handle it.”
His touch sent a wave of warmth through you, and suddenly, the tension you’d been carrying all week melted away. “Next time, maybe I’ll let you handle it.”
He chuckled, his hand resting on the small of your back. “Deal.”
As he leaned in to kiss you, you heard Morgan’s voice in the background. “Okay, seriously, Hotch, what the hell just happened?”
You pulled back from the kiss, glancing over at the team. They were all staring, clearly still in shock at what had just transpired. Rossi had an amused smile on his face, and even JJ was shaking her head in disbelief.
“Long story,” you said with a grin. “But trust me, it was worth it.”
As you turned back to Hotch, you saw the love in his eyes—so much deeper than words could ever express. And you knew, without a doubt, that whatever challenges came your way, you and Aaron would face them together.
And if anyone ever crossed the line again, well… they’d better be ready for round two.
@pear-1206
#idk what else to tag#criminal minds#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fanfic#aaron criminal minds#aaron hotchner#aaron hotch fanfiction#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotch hotchner#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x you#Aaron hotch oneshot#dan the (wo)man#dan answers#dan asks#ask and you shall receive#ask me anything#ask blog#send asks#send me asks
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some additional doodles and a Lot of Headcanons... sorry if im spamming these a little bit. ive got so many thoughts in my head, lmao
theres my older pacifica- after weirdmageddon, her and gideon become friends. theyre both sort of ostracized from the town as a whole bc of their past attitudes/actions so they cling together and become buds. its nice having someone else who 'gets' it.
pacifica moved out as soon as she could to get away from her folks and has a job at a local mall. gideon enables her to enjoy at least SOME of her old luxuries by taking her shopping and to get their nails done together and stuff. also his prison buddies help ''kindly persuade'' her parents not to break her enforced no-contact rule from time to time. i know the two have the bitchiest gossip in the entire town together. sometimes when its hard to be 'nice' they know they can at least vent to the other and they wont get judged for it, yknow?
also some backstory doodles! he was a Normal Kid, Once. or close enough to it. gideon was a sickly child and was sheltered and homeschooled for most of his life. the gleefuls moved from texas to oregon when he was about seven (yes i know this breaks canon a little. its fine shh.) and he found journal 2 shortly after. things went downhill from there
other notes. he's always kept his hair long, but used to either let it down or tie it into a long braid. he very briefly attended a public school and he didnt fare very well there (fat kid + albino + 'girly' + general weird interests is basically painting a massive target on your back) he used to stay up and watch late night televangelists when he couldnt sleep in hospital and copped his aesthetic from there
sorry this post is so long i have a lot of thoughts about him </3
#alloyart#gravity falls#gideon gleeful#pacifica northwest#i dont think pacificas 'aesthetic' changes much apart from she allows herself to be more casual now bc she has less 'standards' to uphold#shes still learning what she actually ENJOYS. because shes had her whole life dictated by her parents up until now. its slow going#its funny how in my 'carrying on from canon' au/timeline basically everyone tries to become a nicer or better person#pacificas parents are not included in this tho. fuck em lol. she does NOT have contact with them if she does not absolutely HAVE to.#and having a pal who knows a lot of criminals is actually comforting. gids puts the wall of muscle between her and her parents#they got that upper-middle class solidarity goin on#anyway. sorry this is a fuckin wall of text. like i said ive got SO many headcanons ive not posted publicly#Talk To Me About Gideon Charles Gleeful [i am gripping my desk very tightly]#(in all seriousness if you ever want to hear more uh. idk. send me an ask or something. ask me about headcanons. i'll be happy)
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just finished fantasy high junior year. relate to mary ann skuttle painfully as someone who had no sense of fashion a hyperfixation and a flat affect as a teenager. you can't tell me she isn't three years away from having a gender crisis
#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#mary ann skuttle#transsstuff#look. emily's description of her as “wears the same grey hoodie every day but her animal crossing character has the cutest outfits” got me#that WAS me in high school. no sense of what fashion fits my gender because none of it does. decide to wear the same plain clothing everyda#treat your animal crossing character like a dress-up doll because you like cute things aesthetically but not for you#when asked why you don't wear cute things go “why would i wear that” in a really flat voice#one note: she treats transitioning like it's the most obvious choice in the world and does not mirror anyone else's excitement or surprise#she just continues that criminally intimidating flat affect and you really really have to guess if she's joking or not. for funnies#dropout#d20#dimension 20#d20 fantasy high
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Grad school Spencer in his little white coat and glasses getting his chem PhD and he just spills everything and goes 🫠 because he sees English lit major reader walking by from the lap window.
because I will die on the hill that this actually happened.
hiiiii 💕
like 23 year old phd candidate spencer in his white lab coat is everything to me and i took some liberties so bear with me :)
spencer reid x female reader
So he’s working in his lab doing something sciencey and smart
He’s already a phd in math and engineering which makes him something a myth in his departments
Part of his program makes him work as a TA for a chemistry course which is how he meets you
You’re a Literature major and Sociology minor and in his Chemistry class. It’s filled with many students, but Spencer wouldn’t need an eidetic memory to remember you
He never found the courage to talk to you, thinking that you’ve probably already have a boyfriend on a count for how pretty and smart you are.
Every Tuesday and Thursday he sees you walk by his lab. He forces himself to not recognize the pattern, but it’s impossible when you’re so magnetic to look at and think about and patterns are so recognizable to his brain. And out of risk of you thinking he’s a stalker, he decides it’s safer if he ignores you walk by
What Spencer doesn’t realize is that you’ve also noticed his pattern of being in the lab the same days you’re in the Sociology wing.
One day he’s busy his lab, and he can see you through the big picture window. He feels his hands grip the beaker and his grateful that the chemical liquids he’s working with today are something as simple as water
As he gazes through the big window he watches you walk with a big stack books in you arms
He walks to the sink, needing an extra 30mLs of water in his beaker, but as his does he accidentally trips over a stool and crashes to the floor
He jumps up, and sees you look at him in horror. Which wasn’t the way he planned on you looking at him (he forced the thoughts of the various ways you could look at him from his mind)
Suddenly you rush into the lab and just as Spencer tries to stammer about maintaining proper hygiene protocols in the lab, your hands are gripping his wrist
“You’re bleeding” you say, and Spencer watches as you maintain steady, tight pressure on his open wound to stop the bleeding
“I didn’t realize” Spencer says with a stained smile. He’s planned on how he’d approach you over and over again in his mind ever since he saw you in the Chemistry class he TA’ed last semester “I was preoccupied”
“It’s alright, Doctor Reid. You’re not going to need stitches or anything. But let me put some bandaging on it.”
Spencer gulps, as he tries to remember how to breathe. All he can focus on is how your hair frames your face perfectly and how your perfume smells like earl grey tea and honey and apples
“You can call me Spencer, Y/N” He whispers, listening to as you practically drag him by the wrist to the first aid kit
“You know my name?” You ask, a look or wonder and amusement washes over your face
Spencer jerks his head back not in pain nor in discomfort, but rather in confusion. “Of course I do, why wouldn’t I know your name. You’re Y/N.”
You lick your bottom lip as a small smile plays on the corner of your mouth. “there were a lot of students in your class last semester. I’m not very good at chemistry. Nor do I have a particularly memorable face.”
Spencer raised his eyebrows in disbelief. You gently placed a bandage on his cut. “You did very well in the class. And as for your face, it’s very memorable. More than memorable, honestly. It’s gorgeous—oh, no I didn’t—I don’t intend to be forward…”
“I think you got a memorable face too, Doc” You say, smiling as you sit knee to knee on the lab stools
“It’s Spencer,” He says, blushing as he nudged his hand forward to just barely touch yours
You stand, smiling as you do so, “Doc suits you. You’re kinda a legend and you’re really cute when you flush like that when I call you Doc”
#this is me rambling#asks#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fluff
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Billy Batson as a radio host is an amazing voice actor and uses this talent in the most hilarious and evil way possible
For example-
Highjacking buildings intercom system and telling villains inside in the most happy and chipper commercial announcer voice that if you're an individual that values their appendages please kept your hands and feet to yourself and may your God have mercy on your soul because the 3000 year old cures your about to experience sure as hell WILL NOT
And you know he's going to have a field day with scam calls
I love this so much!
He can say the most wild and terrifying things in that perfectly measured newscaster voice that has people doing a double take if they aren't listening carefully. His cheerful warnings would terrify people (particularly the villains unlucky enough to hear it twice).
Like he is generally responsible and usually uses his talents for good, but sometimes a situation presents itself...
And like once he's a relatively well known radio host, his voice becomes recognizable to the people in Fawcett and him using his voice acting talents takes on a whole new surreal experience for whoever he's messing with because suddenly that friendly boy reporter from the radio is threatening you with ancient curses and violence with the same cadence as when he was told the story of saving a cat from a tree.
#ask me whatever you want y'all#shazam#billy batson#dc captain marvel#i love when we get to discuss Billy's radio career#even more so when we can link it to him being chaotic#there is a very small subset of criminals in Fawcett City that are both terrified and very confused by the local radio host
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How unfair btw that Nevermore gave us the hottest man ever and he’s only got what, 47 panels and only appears in episodes 8, 20, 32, 38, 42, 74, 100, and 105? (Add four panels if you count each time his portrait is up in the background repeated)
#truly criminal if you ask me. Like we were robbed#theo vandernacht#theo nevermore#nevermore webtoon#dw tho guys I know he lives on kissing Monty or something. Maybe he and Duke dance together#and he and Prospero makeout hard or something#idk man not MY comic. The man is however mine. Sorry crew we’re wed and married 😔#im crushing hard on that man…… get it……. Get it cuz im… tree?#i’m love struck (by lightning)
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I have a question. You're a CNA, a job people tend to grow out of financially by their early twenties. You're on coke. And you're obsessed with cartoons of teenage girls. Is this right?
"CNA, a job people tend to grow out of financially by their early twenties" Ok so you straight up do not know anything about anything. Like an actual child's understanding of the world.
#whats this fbi criminal profiler shtick#you sent me a stupid ask before and I ignored it but this one is like#where do i even begin
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I really loved your fanfic with Cat Adams! It was sooo goodd 💙💙 I wouldn't be opposed if you want to write more for her 😂 ~ 🐳
thanksss <3 <3 sorry Spencie BUT I LOVEEEEE MY EVIL AND PYSCHO GIRL SO MUCH 😭😭 i really wanna write more fics about her soon
Smart - Cat Adams x female!reader
#venusbyline#my writing#my fics#venusbyline's kinktober#kinktober 2024#kinktober#i have so many thoughts#smut writer#smut scenarios#smut fanfiction#criminal minds smut#cat adams x female reader#cat adams x you#cat adams x reader#cat adams smut#cat adams#criminal minds#criminal minds x you#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds imagine#aubrey plaza#aubrey plaza x reader#fic writing#anon ask#thanks anon!#send me asks#i can fix her#dead dove do not eat#spencer reid x reader
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OOH OOH CONCERNED-POLLO?? MANS IS MOTHER™
Y E S
Poor guy's stressed out over everyone's safety 24/7 consciously AND subconsciously
#this is more concerned-lester but it had do be done#criminally underrated scene#he showed he genuinely cared!!! for the first time!!!! he was anguished over the thought of losing his kids!!!!!!!#beautiful#if you couldn't tell this is the moment the toa obsession clicked for me btw#actually maybe it was the copollo plotline but this was a strong contender#trials of apollo#toa#apollo#lester papadopoulos#meg mccaffrey#percy jackson#pjo#scribbles#lonely thoughts#ask#i should've probably coloured this but i'm rusty as hell 💀 haven't drawn anything since. december? maybe?#damn
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Hotch looks so stressed all the time from having to be in charge and he is just so me
#being in charge is the worst experience#why am I in charge#why are you asking me questions#why am I the responsible one you’re leaning on#i don’t like this#criminal minds#ssa aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner x reader#maybe I like him the best because of that
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