#crimes against Tex-Mex

[mohelconvention]

I could only helplessly watch in horror as my wife took one bite from her bean burrito and proceed to suck the beans out like the burrito was a tube of gogurt

[ourceliumnetwork]

you can make nachos out of anything if you try hard and believe in yourself

[laresearchette]

Thursday, November 22, 2024 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: BLITZ (Apple TV+) BREAD & ROSES (Apple TV+) SAGO MINI FRIENDS (Apple TV+) BIA AND VICTOR (Disney + Star) JIM GAFFIGAN: THE SKINNY (Disney + Star) THELMA (Paramount+ Canada) PD TRUE (Season 2) (Series Binge) (Paramount+ Canada) DOUBLE HOLIDAY (Paramount+ Canada) RITA (Shudder) CHRISTMAS ON CALL (W Network) 8:00pm

WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT? OUTLANDER (Premiering on December 02 on W Network at 9:00pm)

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:

AMAZON PRIME CANADA EL CIRCO DE LOS MUCHACHOS TIGRES ET HYÈNES

CBC GEM BESTEST DAY EVER WITH MY BEST FRIEND! FAMILIES LIKE OURS MARY BERRY’S HIGHLAND CHRISTMAS STAY THE NIGHT

CRAVE TV AMELIE ARTHUR CHRISTMAS BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND THE BLIND A CHRISTMAS CAROL THE CONGREGATION (Season 2 premiere) CORALINE HUSTLERS IT’S FLORIDA, MAN (Season 1 finale) I USED TO BE FUNNY SPY KIDS SPY KIDS 2 STRANGERS: CHAPTER 1 SWEET NAVIDAD

DISNEY + STAR BIA AND VICTOR (Amor Da Minha Vida) (all episodes) THE DEVIL’S CLIMB JIM GAFFIGAN: THE SKINNY OUT OF MY MIND

NETFLIX CANADA 900 DAYS WITHOUT ANABEL (ES) DADDY’S HOME DADDY’S HOME 2 THE EMPRESS (Season 2) (DE) THE HELICOPTER HEIST (SE) JOY (GB) THE PIANO LESSON SPELLBOUND TEX MEX MOTORS (Season 2) TRANSMITZVAH (AR) WHEN THE PHONE RINGS (KR)

NBA BASKETBALL (SN) 7:00pm: Celtics vs. Wizards (TSN/TSN4) 7:00pm: Nets vs. 76ers (SN1) 7:30pm: Warriors vs. Pelicans (SN Now) 8:00pm: Pacers vs. Bucks (TSN/TSN4) 10:00pm: Mavericks vs. Nuggets (SN1) 10:30pm: Kings vs. Clippers

NHL HOCKEY (TSN3) 7:00pm: Jets vs. Penguins (SN) 10:00pm: Sabres vs. Ducks

MARKETPLACE (CBC) 8:00pm: A collage of Marketplace investigations comes together when a father finds his disabled son's story being used to sell a bogus product that claims to remove everything from pesticides to bacteria, including E.coli, from food.

MEET ME UNDER THE MISTLETOE (CTV2) 8:00pm: Rival real estate agents both make the same wish during the first snow of the winter: to win the most coveted listing in town. As the business competitors begrudgingly work together, they learn the house comes with a special commission: love.

HUMAN VS. HAMSTER (Magnolia Canada) 8:00pm/9:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): To kick off the competition, teachers and nurses square off against four mighty hamsters before one team takes on Shadow in the final. In Episode Two, in three all-new challenges, the Trivia Kings and Volunteer Queens take on hamsters Astro, Lightning, and Romeo, as well as returning favorite Kevin.

WE'RE SCROOGED (Super Channel Heart & Home) 8:03pm: Years after parting ways, former high school sweethearts reunite at their ten-year Christmastime reunion, where they are visited by three ghosts who try to make them reconsider their decision to part ways.

FRIDAY NIGHT THUNDER (APTN) 8:30pm: Young guns Johnny The Iceman Miller, #20, and Ashton The Beast VanEvery, #77E, have been challenging the veterans all season, proving their skills on the track. Tonight at the Nationals, they solidify their status as formidable competitors.

THE FIFTH ESTATE (CBC) 9:00pm: Vancouver's Sky ECC promises confidentiality to customers with its encrypted cellphones, which are a hit with criminals but also the target of an international police sting; the investigation brings down thousands of criminals and Sky.

I USED TO BE FUNNY (Crave) 9:00pm: Stand-up comedian Sam struggles with PTSD, and considers joining the search for a missing teenage girl she used to nanny.

AMERICAN UNDERDOG (Super Channel Fuse) 9:05pm: The inspirational true story of Kurt Warner, who overcomes years of challenges and setbacks to become a two-time NFL MVP, Super Bowl champion, and Hall of Fame quarterback.

CRIME BEAT (Global) 10:00pm: The Investigators (Melinda Breda-Buchanan)

BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND (Crave) 10:50pm: In 1987, other students wonder if new kid Robin is a boy or a girl, as Robin forges a complicated bond with the school bully and makes increasingly dangerous choices to fit in.

[kurtxhummels]

It's a bit of a crime I think, but not a major crime. To be fair, I don't think there are a lot of truly Mexican fast food places. Taco Bell is American-Mexican, Moe's and Chipotle are Tex-Mex. Most authentically Mexican 'fast food' is just food from a Mexican restaurant that's able to be delivered to people or ordered for take out, so I don't think many people will hold that against you. Subway and Panera are definitely the healthiest 'fast food' options that you can choose, but I think Panera is slightly better. You should definitely try it when you get a chance! Their soups are great; I know they sell them in store too, but it's just not the same. She's one of my favorite actors, so I'll have to find the episode online or streaming somewhere and watch it. That does seem like a likely explanation as to why the movie just seemed to appear after barely any talk about it. Given how popular the original Good Burger was, I wouldn't be surprised if they'd been planning on doing the sequel for years, and then as soon as they had to opportunity to produce it they just ran with it and then released it as soon as they could.

I've never had Moe's either and now I'm realizing that it may be a crime that the only Mexican fast food that I've ever had was Taco Bell. See, Subway would probably be the one "healthy" fast food place I eat at, but someday I'll give Panera a try. I keep hearing about their soups, I'm just never near one when I'm looking for something to eat I guess. Oh you are missing out if you haven't seen Keke's SNL episode, she killed it as a host. And yeah, it really did feel like they announced it and then suddenly it was already out. I feel like they probably had it in the works for awhile before they actually made it public. Which, the way that a lot of reboots and long awaited sequels have been either flopping or getting cancelled before seeing the light of day, that makes sense.

[kpopgerapitico]

Song of the Week

Imma be real honest with yall. I’m here for Astro, and no one else. So with the result already given away, let’s do this!

Honorable Mentions (I honestly don’t know why I write this any more, the format doesn’t make sense, but it’s still happening so)

I want you to imagine the Latin song that plays in the background of your favorite Tex-Mex restaurant. It is always offensively upbeat, and consists of some sort of guitar riff mixed with a single trumpet, and a possible steel drum. Then, I want you to imagine it sung by a Korean man in his late 40s, half in Korean and half in Spanish. Then you may understand the alternate universe of Im Byung Soo’s Ora Ora.

Jun Hyo Seong’s Starlight starts with a really run beat, and adorable vocals. While the chorus gets a bit more cookie cutter, the rest is so nice and cheerful and endearing that I don’t mind at all. It is simple but interesting, and the kind of song that brings a smile to your face when you hear it.

I knew Sungmin was out of Super Junior and that he had a YouTube channel he was active on. I even knew he had a new album. I did not know he was still signed to SM, or that they would be putting his solo out. Orgel is a bit too much of a ballad for me, but I hope that Sungmin is doing well, because his only crime against fans was getting married, and the amount he got ostracized for that is frankly unacceptable. So go listen to support him!

I don’t really care about IU’s Above the Time, except that Lee Hyun Woo is in it, fresh off of his military service, and he is very very pretty. Blueming is the more upbeat track that I want from an IU comeback. Her vocal tone stands out as always, marking the track as hers, and the style is pretty heavily in her wheelhouse. I do like the rock inspired chorus moment, because it is pretty much exactly my taste.

I think when people think of Korean MVs, they are really thinking of Kim Youngchul. This week, he dropped Signal Light, which is absolutely what I assume it feels like to be tripping. But like, the plot is sort of understandable if you ignore the side dancing bits . . . or maybe watching a ton of trot MVs has taught me how to follow all plots.

Wannabe has a great chorus, with all of the cool rhythm stuff that is in right now. I’m not sure I’m pro such a young group like Golden Child doing a sexy concept, but the song is super cool, and sort of fills the whole in my heart that VIXX has left while they all figure out military service. Not quite, but almost.

As You Wish keeps the cute sound that WJSN has lived on their past few comebacks, with just a bit more maturity thrown in. I like the combination on the whole, and frankly they all look incredible. Also, I needed some bubblegum pop this week, so it was nice to have them deliver on such a cheerful song.

Y’all, we made it. And to lead into Astro’s Blue Flame, let’s start with a story. I have been a SHINee fan since I got into K-pop in 2012 (which is a whole other story). And right around that time, Taemin made a transition that mostly made fans go “fuck, he’s hot now, he was never supposed to be hot, wtf do we do now”, or variations, depending on the person. It is a battle we face as fans to this day.

Sanha is giving off hard grown ass man vibes in this song, and with the whole rest of the group looking flawless throughout, my inner Aroha is showing. The song starts out with a Latin feel that sticks through all of the verses. And then the chorus hits, with hard bass hits, high synths and beautifully fit vocals. When the verse returns, it is a relief in its relative lack of complexity. It also fits the VIXX mold, with the lush descriptor I have always used for them fitting Blue Flame just as well. I have no regrets giving it the win this week. 

Edit: Feel better Moonbin! 

[mifunebooty]

A crime against Latinos in the United States/white countries nobody talks about is when nobody tells you they're talking you to a tex mex or basically white latino food restaurant and somehow nobody in your family ever prepared you for that situation and you end up ending celery salsa and fat ass cheddar enchiladas in a place called trudy's and you have to say you're full when you just dont wanna eat it

[nebris]

The Explosive Mix of Sex and Violence

The sexual assaults in Cologne reveal a connection between sex and violence.

The roving gangs of men who sexually assaulted women during the New Year’s Eve celebration in Cologne, Germany, have ignited outrage across Europe and around the world. (1)  The political implications have been much discussed, but how was this violence triggered in these individuals? These assaults illuminate a dark side of human nature: how sex and violence are interlinked in the human brain.

A perplexing link between human sexual behavior and violence is evident from an early age when boys tease and punch girls (2) they are attracted to.  Some major league baseball players look at pornography right before they go to the plate to increase their level of aggression. Thirty percent of all internet traffic is pornography, and 88 percent of this contains physical aggression. (3) In the extreme, sadistic sexual behavior can develop from the intertwining of sex and violence in the human brain.   As crowds grow and become unruly, especially if alcohol and other drugs are involved, gang sexual assault can erupt with awful spontaneity.

Biologically, sex and violence share a number of common brain states and functions.  Both behaviors evoke intense arousal--indeed, the most intense states of arousal possible.  Fighting and mating share some of the same neural circuits, neurotransmitters and hormones of arousal, and both activities strongly stimulate the brain’s reward and pleasure systems.  This brain circuitry can lead men to seek out violence, to pick fights for no apparent reason other than to derive satisfaction from the rewarding feeling that comes from the shot of dopamine in the brain accompanying aggression.  This is the same neurotransmitter boost produced by cocaine and other drugs of addiction.  The neurotransmitter serotonin is also involved in both sexual gratification and in violence. (4)

The biological underpinning for this intersection between sex and violence is a nasty legacy of our primate ancestors.  Many animals, nonhuman primates among them, use violence to obtain and defend mates.   Both aggression and sex are controlled by neurons in the same part of the brain--the hypothalamic attack region.  When researchers stimulate these neurons with electrodes in the brains of mice, the animals instantly engage in violence or in mating, depending on how strongly the neurons are stimulated.(5)  The abrupt switch between mating and fighting is completely under control of the researchers who can flip the animal from mating to fighting by stimulating these neurons at the right intensity. It is an unsettling observation.

The violence of sexual assault combines freely with other crimes of violence, because sex and violence satisfy the same psychological and neurobiological mechanisms that underlie all crimes of violence. Frequently sexual assault is not sexually motivated; it can stem purely from aggression, rage, and dominance.  Sexual assault is a crime of extreme violence, combining elements of robbery, destruction, and cruel brutality using sex as a weapon.  In wartime, sexual assault of women takes place in horrifying numbers—for example, the 276 school girls abducted as sex slaves by Muslim extremists Boko Haram in Nigeria;(6) an estimated 20,000 women to 200,000 women forced into prostitution by Japan during World War II in "comfort stations";(7) and an estimated 2 million German women raped by Soviet soldiers during World War II.

Violence against women is hardly limited to these extreme situations, however. Nearly 20% of all women in the U.S have been sexually assaulted.(8) The alarming statistics on sexual violence against women cut broadly across all walks of life. A 2014 study,(9) for example, found that 20% of female scientists were victims of sexual assault in the workplace. However, the anonymity and chaos of large crowds increase the risk of sexual assault on women, even on a crowded subway, but a mass celebration can inflame extreme mob behavior victimizing women.  Mob violence is stimulated by the intense arousal from sensory stimulation, and the heightened stresses of being buffeted in a noisy, frenzied crowd.  Mob behavior is driven by the strong herding instinct of people to do as they see others do when there is no central authority in control.(10)  At the opposite extreme, this same powerful herding instinct can cause bystander apathy in which no one in a crowd comes to the aid of a person in need.  Tribal identity triggers an “us-vs-them” perception that fuels violence in gangs, barroom brawls, in mobs, and sometimes mêlées between immigrants and residents.

In the recent assaults in Germany, groups of 30-40 men formed spontaneous gangs surrounding women, robbing and brutalizing them sexually.  Similar attacks on women have occurred at Mardi Gras celebrations in Seattle,(11) at out-of-control drunken parties on college campuses, and even at US military conventions, as when 83 women were sexually assaulted by a hundred US Navy and Marine Corps officers in Las Vegas in 1991 in the Tailhook scandal.(12)  These diverse incidents suggest an uncomfortable conclusion.  Violent attacks on women are both sexually and criminally motivated by groups of men in an environment where such animal brutality went unchecked.

Rape is less frequent if social alliances exist to combat it. About 88% of orangutan matings in the wild involve aggressive attacks by males that force the females into submission.(13) Female orangutans are solitary, whereas female gorillas are protected from this level of violence because they live in well-structured troupes that provide mutual protection from aggressive males.  A person’s experience during rearing influences these brain circuits. This is why children raised in an environment where domestic violence occurs will be more likely to exhibit those same behaviors as adults.   This is also why, as is evident in many places around the world, social environments that tolerate sexual aggression and violence against women create a vicious vortex that drives sexual brutality against females.

The majority of those committing the sexual assaults in Cologne, Germany are reported to be men from countries where sexual violence against women is a disturbing social problem. These recent attacks resemble the horrific assault of CBS news correspondent Lara Logan by groups of frenzied men in Tahrir Square during celebration of the downfall of Egypt’s Dictator Hosinni Mubarak in 2011.(15)  On the one-year anniversary of this celebration, nearly 90 women were brutally sexually assaulted in Tahrir Square again by roving gangs of men.(16)

This problem must be faced head-on.  To skirt uncomfortable facts about these assaults out of political concerns or to blame victims will perpetuate the problem.  The mix of cultures brought us Tex-Mex cuisine, and the delightful flavors and sounds of New Orleans, but this also brought small pox to Native Americans. The outbreak in Cologne is not a new disease, but the universal outrage it provokes shows the strong commitment in civil society to stamping it out. It is important to recognize the biological factors that increase danger of sexual violence in mass celebrations and ensure adequate crowd control, but anyone who would sexually assault a woman must be severely punished whether the perpetrator is a despised immigrant in a mob or a beloved personality on TV.  

References

1.  Jordans, F. Cologne divided over who to blame for New Year’s assaults.  TIME  Jan. 6, 2016  http://time.com/4170614/germany-cologne-new-year-sexual-assault/

2.  Martin C. Signs that a guy is about to ask you out.  Match.com Dating Tips  http://datingtips.match.com/signs-guy-ask-out-13443341.html

3.  Staff Reporter, Porn sites get more visitors than Netflix, Amazon and Twitter Combined, The Huffington Post, May 4, 2013.   http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/03/internet-porn-stats_n_3187682.html

4.  Nelson, R. J. and Chiavegatto, S. Molecular basis of aggression, Trends in Neurosciences 24, December 2001: 713-19.

5.  Lin, D., et al., Functional identification of an aggression locus in the mouse hypothalamus.  Nature 470, February 2011, 221-26.

6.  Melvin, D.  Boko Haram kidnapping of 200 Nigerian schoolgirls, a year later.  CNN, April 14, 2015.    http://www.cnn.com/2015/04/14/africa/nigeria-kidnapping-anniversary/

7.  Olivo, A. Homage to WWII comfort women puts Fairfax in a delicate situation.  The Washington Post, May 31, 2014.

8. National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 2010  Feminist.com http://www.feminist.com/antiviolence/facts.html

9.  Clancy, KBH, Nelson, RG, Rutherford JN, Hinde, K.  Survey of Academic field experiences (SAFE):  Trainees report harassment and assault.  PloS ONE 9 e102172 (2014).

10.  Raafat, R.M., Chater, N., Frith, C.  (2009)  Herding in humans.  Trends in Cognitive Sciences, vol. 13, p. 420-428.

11.  Death, rape and rage at Seattle’s Mardi Gras:  A radical woman’s response, Radical Women, March 23, 2001.  http://www.radicalwomen.org/mardigras.shtml

12. Davis, K., Tailhook’s whistle-blower talks sexual assault.  Navy Times June 11, 2013.   http://archive.navytimes.com/article/20130611/NEWS05/306110012/Tailhook-...

13.  Peterson, D., Wrangham, R. Demonic Males:  Apes and the Origins of Human Violence, Houghton Mifflan, Company, New York, (1997)

14.  Mayen, N. Women in Egypt suffer more sexual violence under Islamist rule.  Al Arabiya News, October 18, 2014. http://english.alarabiya.net/en/perspective/features/2013/06/02/Women-in...

15.  Logan, L. Lara Logan breaks silence on Cairo assault.  60 Minutes, May 10, 2011.  http://www.cbsnews.com/news/lara-logan-breaks-silence-on-cairo-assault/

16.  Eltahawy, D. Amnesty International, Livewire, July 3, 2013.  http://livewire.amnesty.org/2013/07/03/sexual-assaults-on-women-protesto...

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-new-brain/201601/the-explosive-mix-sex-and-violence

[alldonewithallofthis]

In San Antonio there is also a horrifying tradition of making Tex Mex enchilada gravy that is made w ground beef, a roux, tomato paste and literal chilli powder, which to my Northern Chihuahua border palate is a crime against humanity.

I love how Americans will eat gravy whatever colour it comes out, and in the UK we have stuff to specifically make your gravy brown enough

[ecotone99]

[SP] The Southern Illinois Council of Evil

The meetings only happened on dark and stormy nights, which was written strictly in the organizational by-laws. So, when a SICOE meeting was called for a Tuesday because the weather forecast expected heavy rainfall but had to be cancelled because it only ended up being a light drizzle, nobody complained.

Of course, on Friday, right at the start of the weekend, it started coming down like a catastrophe and everybody had to cancel their big plans to drive out in the middle of a God-damned hurricane. Things were understandably tense, but not half as tense as the time when Catman and Dogman had hatesex at the podium. Neither of them were ever invited back, by the way.

Supervillains stalked in to the meeting hall and shook off like a group of feral cats finding a cardboard box shelter. Everyone appeared in costume, some of them had written agendas for the meeting but some of them still had bandoliers of laser grenades strapped on them. To say it was a freakshow would have been an understatement. It was what a freakshow would go to see so that they could all point and say, “Hey, will you look at those miserable fucks?”

There were enough tables for all of them to sit at but that didn’t stop about half of them from standing in the back drinking coffee. The by-laws said that the Council would not recognize anyone that wasn’t sitting but that was rarely enforced unless there was a fracas going on. A few troublemakers liked to rabble-rouse every now and then but it was rarely a problem.

The Wine Tasting Fundraiser had been outstanding last quarter so the conference room had been extensively remodeled and modernized. It had projectors, smart-screens, surround sound and even the podium still had that rich mahogany smell. Crime did pay.

At fifteen til, the head table was already full. None of them wanted to risk losing their position to a greedy usurper looking at taking a spot in the food chain and the by-laws were pretty explicit in the fact that there was absolutely no tolerance for tardiness in executive positions. The President, the Vice President, the Treasurer, the Secretary and the newly formed Legal Advisor position were all present and squared away well before any assault on the hierarchy could occur. Not that it would, walking into this place and expecting the worst was the wrong mindset.

The Errorist, who signed all of his dues checks as T.Errorist with the O shaped as a little bomb, hurried in, nearly late, and sat down in his customary spot. The Errorist was the world’s only satire villain who exclusively exploded institutions of religion while leaving a list of all the logical fallacies he could think of associated with the religion of choice. Because of his sardonically hardline approach to religion The Errorist wasn’t exactly a popular member of the group. About half of the people at the meeting were Catholic but there were also some Lutherans and even one Mennonite. And despite never openly acknowledging it, The Racer Racist was actually Southern Baptist and his local chapter of the KKK actually met after the Sunday sermon. None of them liked The Errorist. Even in supervillain circles, religion and politics were touchy subjects.

So when The Errorist sat down in his usual spot where he and his two other friends usually sat he was dismayed to see that The Middler wasn’t in the chair adjacent to him. The Middler was a mediocre criminal that stole only a moderate amount of money in bank robberies and he always sat next to The Errorist as a part of their unofficial group-within-a-group. On the other side of The Middler’s chair sat down Doctor Rocktopus, the third member of the group.

Doctor Rocktopus was a man and an octopus and a doctor and a musician. Which all sounds confusing, but hold on, everything is about to be explained. Doc-Rock has a man’s body but his head is just a full octopus plopped down on his neck meat, proportionate to the size of his body. He uses his extra appendages to play his deadly instrument weapons like his Guntar which is a guitar-gun or his Drum-Missiles which is exactly what it sounds like as well. Doc-Rock also designed all of his own weapons with his knowledge of chemistry, engineering, and stellar indie beats. So he really isn’t as complicated as he sounds when you think about it for a minute. Just a regular old, musician/scientist/human/cephalopod.

Doctor Rocktopus looked over to The Errorist and gave him a mournful, knowing nod. The Middler must have been pinched by one of the do-gooders for something. They would probably have to break him out of the ol’pokey sometime this next week before concert season began. Doctor Rocktopus always dragged them to Phish concerts which had to be some sort of stereotype, somehow.

“Will everyone please stand for the pledge of allegiance?... Hah, I kid, I kid. Everyone knows America will be split up and auctioned off to the highest bidders whenever we enact global domination. I just wanted to start things off a little light hearted, you know?” SICOE President Baroque Rat cackled.

The Baroque Rat wasn’t just the President of SICOE, he was also the founder. He called the first meeting together nearly 23 years ago when it was just him and three other guys. He had a penchant for bureaucracy which seemed to be a lucky coincidence to his name. He was really a half-man/half-rat (rat from the waist up and man from the waist down) who chose to dress in frilly 17th century European fashions. He was literally just a Baroque Rat that happened to be a very apt Bureaucrat. The world was funny sometimes.

“Can I hear a motion to read the minutes from last meeting? Ehh… Motion made by The-Supervillain.com, Cyber evil a click away, and seconded by… Who is that? Oh, yes, Reflectorcist, the Mirror-based Demonologist, Jesus you all need to get some shorter titles. Ok, Secretary Tex Luthor, the floor is yours to read the minutes.”

Tex Luthor stood up from the head table and made his way to the podium, trying to put loosely held notes together into a stack. He wasn’t the worst Secretary the Council had ever had (Dyslexorcist, the illiterate demonologist, had been a literal nightmare) but his southern sensibilities did not seem to compliment the bureaucratic hierarchy. He usually had tons of folksy evil wisdom though.

“Ahem, yes, now,” Tex Luthor’s southern drawl twanged in even that brief moment, turning monosyllabic words into an orgy of sounds. Yes was turned into something that sounded like “Yeee-aaass” and the word now was mutated into “Neey-yooww”. Tex continued to nervously shuffle his notes, the poor guy had stage fright, it was only his second meeting reading the minutes. He hadn’t been a council chair member for very long and it was definitely starting to show.

“Last meeting, started with a motion to read the minutes of the previous meeting by Tinnitus-Titan, evil’s biggest little noise, and it was seconded by X-Ray-Cist, the radioactive demonologist… Boy, you, uh you guys and gals ever realized how many of these ‘exorcist’ people we got?”

“Move on, cabrón!” Shouted a voice in a distinctively Spanish accent. Mex Luthor. “Nobody asked you, filthy beaner!” Tex spat back.

The two, Tex Luthor and Mex Luthor, unrelated, had always been at odds against each other. Both had drawn inspiration from the legendary fictional supervillain Lex Luthor while also trying to pay homage to their respective ethnic heritages. They were both pretty stupid but damn, if they weren’t the most evil people you could ever meet. Tex Luthor robbed orphanages on two separate occasions and Mex Luthor built a dandruff machine that affected only Chron’s Disease victims. If only they could ever manage to get over their differences.

Tex Luthor restarted reading the minutes to sound of snickers coming from Mex’s table. Afterwards the sounds of papers rustled as everyone flipped over to the next page of the agenda. Groans filtered through softly as some of them realized what it was. A month ago, there had been a skeleton crew meeting. It had been the start of college football season and most of the big-timers had kids in school that were physically aggressive… So, yeah, most of them skipped the meeting. During that meeting a controversial motion was made and passed with a three-quarters vote. The motion: regular gender and cross cultural awareness training seminars.

Today was fifteen minutes from Lady Marksman’s “Feminine Heist Courtesies” and it was largely unpopular among the core villains. The class typically ran for four hours but Lady Marksman agreed to teach it as a series of small classes in exchange for a five year contract of refresher courses.

“I would like it noted in the minutes that I object to this whole fucking spectacle you bunch of homos are making!” Red Scoliosis shouted in his signature German accent. Red Scoliosis had a power that he called Scoliokinesis that he had developed as a Nazi Scientist back in World War 2, he was able to bend people’s backs with his mind. Also, he was literally the color of a red crayon. It was all deeply offensive, just like his grating personality.

The Errorist had once gone on a heist with Red Scoliosis that went completely off the rails. A superhero (Messiah Maniac: just another Jesus hero) knocked Red Scoliosis unconscious and when they were put into the squad car together The Errorist punched him right in the face while he was still out of it. The big red moron still didn’t know and even regularly mailed him Christmas cards.

“It has been noted, but if you speak out of turn again, I am going to go eleven herbs and spices all over your Nazi ass.” Colonel Planders replied in his Kentucky drawl. Colonel Planders was more than just a Kentucky Colonel/Mastermind, he was also the Vice President of the Council. He had the sharpest dastardly mind in the building. He leaned over to the Baroque Rat and whispered to him, “Ah’d been planning to say that for the last two hours.”

That was funny because the meeting started literally thirty minutes ago. Lady Marksman made her way up to the podium with a laptop bag and a fat pile of handouts which she slammed down on Red Scoliosis’ table.

“Pass those out, bitch.” She muttered and kept walking.

Red Scoliosis slid the whole pile off the table and they fluttered to the ground in a heap but it didn’t matter. He just lost a lot of reputation with the boys. He never had much of a reputation with the girls.

Lady Marksman made it up to the podium and smiled smartly, snidely, simply satisfied. Sorry, the comic book crowd loves alliteration.

“Good evening everyone. Some of you may know of me, I am the precision based supervillain Lady Marksman. Before you ask, I am completely unaffiliated with Marksman, another precision based supervillain. We both just had the same great idea for a name right around the same time.”

“Can’t you just change you name to Markswoman?” The Sexorcist shouted out from the crowd. Not many people liked to acknowledge Sexorcist, that guy was fucking gross. Gross demon sex stuff that makes hentai (Japanese animated porn for the uninitiated) look like Walt Disney. Every now and then he’d try to use his powers to rob a bank and it would go wrong in every conceivable way.

“No, that sounds stupid. Literally the most stupid name anybody could suggest.” Nobody liked to encourage the guy that regularly opened portals to another world for shadowy tendrils to reach out and seek the nearest orifices.

It was somewhere around Lady Marksman’s seventh minute speaking that Middler quietly sidled up into his normal chair. He flashed a grin over at The Errorist and gave Doc Rock a thumbs up. Doc Rock shrugged and went back to looking at his villain Twitter feed.

“What happened?” The Errorist mouthed quietly to his friend.

The Middler answered by lifting his hands up above the table. Around his wrists were handcuffs that had been severed at the middle joint.

“I had to escape!” He whispered back excitedly.

Lady Marksman wrapped up her introductory course with three rules about on the job bathrooms that all rhymed. She was applauded back to her seat with a vehemently moderate effort. It was underwhelmingly enthusiastic.

Tyrannosaurus Rexorcist, the SICOE Treasurer and dinosaur demonologist, got up to give a brief summary of the accounts as well as a rundown of the most recent expenditures. He was halfway through explaining the cost of aftermarket modifications being added to the espresso machine station when he abruptly paused.

“Aherm…. I just… Oh my God… Oh my fucking God! What are we all fucking doing? We are the bad guys? What is this? WHAT IS ALL THIS FUCKING SHIT?!? We should be out there right now killing heroes, kicking ass and ignoring names! We sho--!” T-Rexorcist was cut short by a swift karate chop to his throat by the Baroque Rat.

“Nothing to see here folks!” The Devil’s Advocate, half demon and all lawyer, said as Colonel Planders subdued the Tyrannosaurus Rexorcist with his wrist mounted net launcher. Devil’s Advocate, the Council’s Legal Council, gave a nervous chuckle as Tyrannosaurus Rexorcist was dragged from the stage. “Just another regular old existential villain crisis, I heard his wife is divorcing him.”

A motion to move on to new business was quickly raised by Trend-gineer, the fashion forward gadget-based villain. It was immediately seconded by The Errorist. Nobody wanted to think that any of them could have a mental break like that at any time. If they all collectively ignored it hard enough then maybe it would stop happening. “The motion to continue on to new business passes.” The Baroque Rat said as he wiped his brow and sat back at his seat again.

Thanks for reading my story! I have probably never had more fun while writing than when I wrote this. So it might not be any good but I guess it is ok because I had a blast coming up with all of this. Feel free to tell me what you thought! I always welcome constructive criticism!

submitted by /u/Cursed_Apricot [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2K5V7SY

[thedeadshotnetwork]

People are slamming Chipotle's queso — but the cheesy dip is actually good now if you order it correctly (CMG) Hollis Johnson After years of demands, customers hate Chipotle's queso. However, the chain quietly changed the recipe — and it's way better now. In general, Chipotle's queso is better as a topping than as a dip. Hollis Johnson Chipotle's queso roll-out has been a nightmare for the chain. Since September, customers have slammed the the dip as a "crime against cheese," "expired Velveeta," and "dumpster juice." The company confirmed that just 15% of orders include queso — less than half of the 40% that include guacamole. And, Cowen found that queso-related traffic died off after peaking the first week it was available. I'll admit, I was among the many naysayers. When I first tried Chipotle's queso, I found the flavors to be reasonably good and smokey — but the texture to be disgusting. Instead of the nice goopy texture that a lovely (artificial-ingredient-filled) bowl of queso contains, it instead was closer to a bizarre chowder. And, as the queso cooled, it only got grainier and grosser. So, I was pleasantly surprised to order queso at Chipotle this week and discover a perfectly adequate dip. The queso was less grainy, and the flavor had a more even heat. All in all, it was a substantial upgrade. Chipotle confirmed the changes to Business Insider. Hollis Johnson "Same commitment to ingredients (still all real ingredients with nothing artificial), but it's got a creamier texture and a really nice flavor," spokesperson Chris Arnold said in an email. Chipotle's queso still isn't top-notch dipping material. It is, however, a great tool to have in your arsenal if you're ordering a burrito or bowl at Chipotle. As a topping, any textural shortcomings of the queso are quickly forgotten. Instead, the savory sauce brings a smokey punch to the dish, imbuing it with a rich layer of flavor. Chipotle's cheese is, frankly, tasteless and not good. The queso is a necessary replacement that elevates the entire dish. I'm not alone in my belief. While roughly half of Chipotle customers said that the chain's queso is better than the competition's offerings, 93% said they enjoy Chipotle's queso as a topping on burritos and bowls. Is Chipotle's queso going to fulfill Tex-Mex lovers' deepest cravings? Probably not. But, it does have the opportunity to help turn business around at the company — as long as customers accept it as a cheesy burrito ingredient, and not the goopy classic many people expected. NOW WATCH: The dark story behind the term 'Black Friday' December 3, 2017 at 03:20PM

[tortuga-aak]

People are slamming Chipotle's queso — but the cheesy dip is actually good now if you order it correctly (CMG)

Hollis Johnson

After years of demands, customers hate Chipotle's queso.

However, the chain quietly changed the recipe — and it's way better now.

In general, Chipotle's queso is better as a topping than as a dip. 

  Hollis Johnson

Chipotle's queso roll-out has been a nightmare for the chain. 

Since September, customers have slammed the the dip as a "crime against cheese," "expired Velveeta," and "dumpster juice." 

The company confirmed that just 15% of orders include queso — less than half of the 40% that include guacamole. And, Cowen found that queso-related traffic died off after peaking the first week it was available.

I'll admit, I was among the many naysayers. 

When I first tried Chipotle's queso, I found the flavors to be reasonably good and smokey — but the texture to be disgusting. Instead of the nice goopy texture that a lovely (artificial-ingredient-filled) bowl of queso contains, it instead was closer to a bizarre chowder. And, as the queso cooled, it only got grainier and grosser. 

So, I was pleasantly surprised to order queso at Chipotle this week and discover a perfectly adequate dip. The queso was less grainy, and the flavor had a more even heat. All in all, it was a substantial upgrade. 

Chipotle confirmed the changes to Business Insider. 

Hollis Johnson

"Same commitment to ingredients (still all real ingredients with nothing artificial), but it's got a creamier texture and a really nice flavor," spokesperson Chris Arnold said in an email. 

Chipotle's queso still isn't top-notch dipping material. It is, however, a great tool to have in your arsenal if you're ordering a burrito or bowl at Chipotle. 

As a topping, any textural shortcomings of the queso are quickly forgotten. Instead, the savory sauce brings a smokey punch to the dish, imbuing it with a rich layer of flavor. Chipotle's cheese is, frankly, tasteless and not good. The queso is a necessary replacement that elevates the entire dish. 

I'm not alone in my belief. While roughly half of Chipotle customers said that the chain's queso is better than the competition's offerings, 93% said they enjoy Chipotle's queso as a topping on burritos and bowls. 

Is Chipotle's queso going to fulfill Tex-Mex lovers' deepest cravings? Probably not. But, it does have the opportunity to help turn business around at the company — as long as customers accept it as a cheesy burrito ingredient, and not the goopy classic many people expected.

NOW WATCH: The dark story behind the term 'Black Friday'

from Feedburner http://ift.tt/2iIkUHs

[newstfionline]

As North Korea intensifies its missile program, the U.S. opens an $11 billion base in South Korea

By Anna Fifield, Washington Post, July 29, 2017

CAMP HUMPHREYS, South Korea--This small American city has four schools and five churches, an Arby’s, a Taco Bell and a Burger King. The grocery store is offering a deal on Budweiser as the temperature soars, and out front there’s a promotion for Ford Mustangs.

But for all its invocations of the American heartland, this growing town is in the middle of the South Korean countryside, in an area that was famous for growing huge grapes.

“We built an entire city from scratch,” said Col. Scott W. Mueller, garrison commander of Camp Humphreys, one of the U.S. military’s largest overseas construction projects. If it were laid across Washington, the 3,454-acre base would stretch from Key Bridge to Nationals Park, from Arlington National Cemetery to the Capitol.

“New York has been a city for 100-some years and they’re still doing construction. But the majority of construction here will be done by 2021,” Mueller said. (New York was actually founded nearly 400 years ago.)

The U.S. military has been trying for 30 years to move its headquarters in South Korea out of Seoul and out of North Korean artillery range.

Since the end of World War II, the military has been based at Yongsan, a garrison that had been the Imperial Japanese Army’s main base during Japan’s occupation of the Korean Peninsula. It is in the middle of Seoul and just 40 miles from the demilitarized zone that separates the two Koreas.

The South Korean and American governments have been talking since 1987 about moving the base away from Yongsan, but political and funding issues had slowed the process. Protests broke out a little over a decade ago when the Pyeongtaek, a sleepy rural city 40 miles south of Yongsan, was chosen as the new base site.

Now, the $11 billion base is beginning to look like the garrison that military planners envisaged decades ago.

The Eighth Army moved its headquarters here this month and there are about 25,000 people based here, including family members and contractors.

There are apartment buildings, sports fields, playgrounds and a water park, and an 18-hole golf course with the generals’ houses overlooking the greens. There is a “warrior zone” with Xboxes and Playstations, pool tables and dart boards, and a tavern for those old enough to drink.

Starting this August, there will be two elementary schools, a middle school and a high school. A new, 68-bed military hospital to replace the one at Yongsan is close to completion.

That is in addition to the airfield, the tank training areas and firing ranges.

When it is finished, the base will be able to house precisely 1,111 families and a total of about 45,500 people.

But it’s not just bigger; it’s much more modern than the garrison at Yongsan, Mueller said. It has state-of-the-art communications technology and is a more “hardened” site to protect against a possible North Korean attack.

“Down here we’re a little bit further from the action, and that helps buy us some strategic decision space should anything happen,” Mueller said. “We’ve been able to create the facilities needed to keep up with the pace of modern warfare and modern communications technology.”

Although the recent concerns about North Korea have centered on its rapidly evolving ballistic missile capability, the Kim regime has a huge amount of conventional artillery lined up on its side of the border that would be able to inflict significant damage on Seoul in a short space of time. It is this concern that has restrained American presidential administrations from launching a preemptive strike on North Korea’s nuclear weapons facilities.

But the new Camp Humphreys is out of range of North Korea’s multiple rocket launchers, although that hasn’t stopped the North Koreans from making threats.

“The larger the U.S. military base is, the more effectively our military can hit its targets,” a North Korean military spokesman said this month after the Eighth Army moved here, according to the North’s Korean Central News Agency.

Under an agreement with the South Korean military, one U.S. Army brigade will remain at Camp Casey, right near the DMZ, even after the Yongsan garrison has closed.

The construction of Camp Humphreys had raised hopes for the local economy, which had not exactly been flourishing before the area was selected for the base.

Local authorities have built a $13 million train station and a new four-lane highway bridge, and invested $55 million in a new substation to deliver power to the base. The main roads in Pyeongtaek are lined with new apartment towers.

Immediately outside the base, local businesses are vying to prove how pro-American they are. There are dozens of real estate agencies with American flags on their windows and names such as “Komerican Realty,” while two of the new housing developments outside the base are called “Lincoln Palace” and “Capitolium.” The parking spaces in the developments are bigger, to fit American cars.

There are restaurants offering all-you-can-eat Korean meat dinner buffets for $11, Tex-Mex joints and even a Hooters rip-off. The barbershop offers flattops and “skin fade” cuts, and there are other services you don’t find in an average South Korean town, such as “All African American Caribbean style” hair braiding.

Because soldiers below the rank of staff sergeant are not allowed to drive in South Korea, even off base, young Americans on bicycles rigged up with small motors sputter through the streets.

But there is a sense of frustration that the base hasn’t produced a gold rush.

“Business is so-so,” said Suh Hee-yeon, the owner of one U.S. Forces Korea-approved real estate agency on the main drag, which offers housing for those who will live off base. She has been here for a decade and doesn’t welcome the new firms that have arrived as the base gets closer to completion. “There’s too much competition now and we have to share the limited amount of business,” she said.

Some here worry about increased crime and that American soldiers will be on the prowl for local women. The U.S. Army has developed an app so troops can check which bars have been deemed off-limits, either because they’ve been caught serving drinks to minors or because they’re selling sex.

Others complain that the new arrivals don’t learn Korean and expect local store owners to speak English.

But worse than that is the fear that the soldiers just won’t patronize their businesses.

“They rarely come out from their bases,” said Park Jong-ho, who has run a shoe shop here for the past three years. “They have everything they need there on the base.”