#created my dating life
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okay i was totally right about not putting my rant in the tags of that last post because ive been writing it up and its getting out of hand even for its own post and im not sure if im gonna finish writing everything out or if im gonna just scream in my head for a while. anyway on a related note who wants to hear about my very boring dating history
#honestly i keep blurring the line between 'personal anecdote related to the topic' and 'oversharing on the internet yet again'#and after typing a bunch of shit out ive realized im not sure which category the post is ending up in#so im not sure if i should post it#but also i typed a lot so i dont wanna just toss it#idk its basically just a bunch of explaining mormon shit#and how it affected my dating life#created my dating life#whatever#but also im not sure whats common knowledge about how the mormon church works and whats not#so i think ive overexplained a bunch of shit in an attempt at clarity#which is definitely a reoccuring thing for me lol#anyway im starting to realize that its probably not interesting to anyone but me so idk if im gonna bother typing the rest out#like theres no reason to put any more effort into some tangent if no ones interested in the result idk
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9 / 266
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 266#fanart#jjk fanart#itafushi#jujutsu kaisen fanart#used th itfs tag bc its implied and this is an itfs piece i said so#i dont think ive seen this parallel made yet??? but its ok if it has#i just had the idea hit at gross o clock last night when i ws alr exhausted n had 2 force myself to sleep instead of drawing it#i just . clutches chest . YUUJI#th char development the emotional maturity..#the willingness to put aside his gojo voice personal feelings in favour of giving megumi agency over his own life#rather than burden him with expectations the way every1 has done fr both of them over the course of the series...#tears in my eyes thats my mc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway art notes i think lower one is some of the best yuuji hair ive drawn 2 date#it's kind of similar to one of my 265 redraws but i think i struck a better balance in how thoroughly i rendered it here#proud of my me but also SO grateful tht yuuji has not been fighting me lately#so much yuuji content these past chapters i cant imagine th frustration having to Also fight him in order 2 create content fr them#anyway itafushi kaisen is real and canon and alive and yuuji singlehandedly discovered th cure 2 my mental illness w this line
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instagram: cheri.png
#I still think this is a beautiful landing page#with good negative space and everything#for the first time in my life I can identify that i feel lonely it’s wild I do not recommend it#the dating apps are the most toxic tech that was ever created#not one bone in my body wants to play the games with the guys#imagine studying chat psychology for 5 years then witnessing boys trying to play you with it#ANYWAYS#cybercore#y2k#old internet#old web#cyber y2k#00s#2000s#tech#moodboard#cyber core#old apple#apple#user interface#y2k nostalgia#nostalgiacore#nostalgia#girlblogging#techcore#tech blog
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When the Baxter DLC drops…
#unapologetically going to date this man#I know cove gonna be punching the air when it happens#sorry the video is laggy idk how to create on tiktok only scroll mindlessly#enjoy this trend on my fyp tho#cove holden#baxter ward#our life#our life beginnings & always#gb patch#gb patch games
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Attack of the clones belongs to the girls.❤🌸🌅
#late for aotc release anniversary#attack of the clones in general belongs to the girls with mullet obi padaani padmes sunset lake dress the picknick and anidala wedding#the wedding😭❤#their wedding is the most beautiful and majestic movie wedding ever created i can never see it too often 🌅🌸#i gotta hang it up my wall in wall life size as tapestry#mullet space jesus obi 💞#the picknicks their cute dates❤#padmes wardrobe in this movie🌸#*edit ani looks so pregnant and obi being the proud father in the fifth gif🥺#star wars prequels#star wars#obi wan kenobi#mullet obi wan supremacy#star wars fandom#attack of the clones#space jesus#anakin skywalker#padmé amidala#anakin and padme#anidala
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i have been thinking if i should do something for Fal's "birthday" (i say birthday with quotation marks because that's the birthday of the original Fal)... Should i do something to commemorate that day...?
#kirby oc#kirby#fal mahoiku#fal#random polls#nokk0 say#a little silly but i like to think that Fal's birthday is in November 9#this because that's the release date in which he debuted#maybe not appropiate but my Fal is still Fal and for me he is still a creation of Maruino the creator of Mahoiku#so i think is... ok that his birthday is the same date of the light novel release#that and i can't remember when i created the oc Fal XD#i'm sure it was between february and march of this year#that's also why i say “birthday”#my Fal just have like... what? 6? 7 months of life?#this is more like a little silly idea that i want to do because i want to :3
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i feel like i have very unpopular opinions on dennis within this fandom. i am scared of fandom spaces so. to the tags i go
#i fear that some of you see dennis reynolds in a fanon way that you have accepted as canon ...#he is not . GOOD! guys. i say this as someone who deeply relates to him#he is canonically unmedicated for bpd and i Am medicated so i feel extremely attached to the mindset he has that used to be my LIFE!#i dont believe dennis would ever willingly put himself in any sort of situation where he isnt in control or powerful. its why he creates#entire identities just to have power over women for a few weeks. he doesnt date because at some point they become powerful and he losespowe#i am certain that there are parts of his psyche that love his friends and family bc he DOES have feelings ! but i also believe its hard for#him to accept that or even think about it if he wanted to because he is so obsessed with his delusions of grandeur#i dont think love is ever something he could give to someone easily and if he did it would be a painful toxic wound#we already know this. he loves dee and they are horrible for each other. and hes worse for her whether some ppl want 2 admit it or not#dennis is my favorite character on this show and i wanna reiterate that because im scared ppl will be annoying I Dont Share my Opinions#about Media a lot even though i think Tons of them#iasip#dennis reynolds
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i love it when he sits like this ฅ^•⩊•^ฅ
if you’re reading this, wesley and i hope you have a good thursday!! <3 sorry i’ve been so absent lately, i promise i’m not gone forever, just taking a lil breather c: busy living life and writing without putting any pressure on myself! lately i’ve been (yet again) daydreaming about starting to vlog for no reason other than wanting to capture my life in a way that is creative and expressive—a moving visual gratitude journal, if you will. thinking very much about my autobiographical film class, chantal akerman, and italianamerican (which might be my favourite scorsese film ever >.<)
#folding his lil arms :3#such a cutiepie#i hope these photos make you smile <3 even if just for a moment!!!#there are a lot of big changes going on in my life right now but they are all good!!#i’ll be back soon i think#tonight i have a discord date with maisie and i am really excited!!!!#i also just like#miss film so much#i miss creating film#i miss watching film#i miss studying film#i usually get this way every september;;; i guess my heart just starts to ache for uni HAHAHA#my boyfriend and i have started watching one new film a week which is awesome#(this week it’s his turn to pick; he’s leaning toward a cronenberg film!!!)#but it’s still nothing in comparison to the 4-5 new films per week i had been watching in uni#obv i just don’t have time for that anymore LMAO#but i do miss it#anyway i have to do work now hahaha#happy thursday!! <33#clari chatters
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tbh discovering my own autism and then diagnosing ishtar with it because she's my special girl has been a wild ride
#out.#me @ myself: so thats why we've been doing this our whole life????#me @ ishtar: so thats why you've been doing this your whole life...#shes not a self-insert shes worse.#(my special oc i created at nine and havent let go of ever since)#shes the diagnostic in itself idk what to tell you no one not on the dsm-5 is this attached to a fictional character kid-them created#i bring out her pinterest boards on my first dates (not my finest moments)(plural)(no part of this sentence should be a plural help)#anyway#idk i was going to make a post abt ishtar in her modern verse and the autism but i got distracted#pretend this is the post thank u
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Happy 5th birthday to my dear OC, Sei ♥
#my art#illustration#original character#oc | seijaku#world | luxenvalice#sentimental rambling in the tags#my dearest girl!! light of my life!! the only reason i get out of bed sometimes!!!!#she was drawn earlier than Feb 14 2019 - but that is the date she was first posted to ToyHouse#and so that is the date she was probably truly solidified in my mind as an OC that was going to stay#Do you ever have an OC and don't realize how much of you - the creator - is in that OC?#realizing stupidly late that this is why it bothered me immensely when people took art involving her to repost#I still feel kinda gross posting personal art because of it but#that's why my watermark is a little more annoying now#Anyway it feels like a lifetime has passed from her starting off as a BNHA OC#Don't remember anymore why I made the conscious decision to watch the show when I always had and still have trouble starting/finishing medi#but while I don't keep up with it anymore - it did result in me creating her#first as a student character and then changing her immediately when I saw a certain villain loool#there was a lot more I was going to say down here but the internet has cut out#So for now I'll just end with...#thanks for your time if you read this 💕#and I look forward to doing more with this character in Genshin and other fandoms#and ofc the collab story she is involved in 😌
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i think something moonage daydream was really good at doing was capturing a vibe
#sir.txt#the thing it was second best at was painting a picture... that movie is a watercolor rendition of a galaxy to me#i feel like the linear progression of bowie's life in the movie never being marked by any specific dates not even years... it gives it that#not cut and dry feeling. none of these events exist solely in one day of one year they are something that will span longer than ourselves#one day- a couple of hours- stretched into infinity simply by the fact that they were not confined within a date#i think that's something worthy of bowie. to be immortalized not through the medium itself but by how the medium refuses to cage him within#any set parameters that would be too extreme and unsatisfying for him would he be there to choose#instead letting him trespass all those barriers and just be and transcend#my boyfriend says the film is like bowies superstar cosmic journal well i say the film is like bowies watercolor rendition of a galaxy in#formation- and all the stars are still forming and the watercolor still hasn't dried as another layer is added so shades melt within-into-#each other#like how bowie refused to keep himself caged within one style one look one identity he surpassed all of those boundaries and transformed#into something else... it is only fair that the film capture it in a similar way... all of the flashy colors and editing is just a#projection of bowies spirit itself in all its vibrancy and extravagance without being supercilious#this movie was touching but also fun for the sake of fun and eccentric for the sake of eccentricity. it's a must watch for whoever loves#bowie at his most raw and unrestrained and undefined... i felt like falling through the screen to bw held by him at several moments#BECAUSE that's what the movie is it's the galaxy wrapping its arms around the unknowing astronaut#and welcoming them into itself because nobody in this reality is actually an outsider of life- nobody passively observes the universe-#that's something that i found very moving in the film was how bowie surpassed that feeling of all-encompassing loneliness that was#what propeled him to create art... and found acceptance and loving and understood he wasn't alien to all of it.#it's very moving again like i said. but specially movingfor someone like me who struggles so hard not to simply idly observe things and let#life reject me. I can't keep letting these things write themselves into existence over and over and maybe just maybe#that film helped me snap back into a higher sense of lucidity where i realise i have to take control of my life#but like. anyway.#bowies life is very mythologised but in part it is very much a self constructed myth which he himself took the time to skillfully architect#and its such that myth ceases to be only in suspension and untangible: bowie being extraterrestrial.#he.... he integrates so much into the planet he does become an energy traversing through earth. he becomes life itself but in the least self#important way this sentiment could be expressed.#there will never be another bowie- as there will never be another dylan or reed or lennon. there will never be circumstances which will come#but to quote the movie. his life hasnt ended. only changed. thats beautiful. anyways my tags are up
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Life is good and beautiful (got an email from my mixing prof congratulating me on my first mix assignment :))))))) )
#Also stay tuned for#Should you date musicians#The answer is likely to be no#But by god#does someone creating music actually affect me#(Me fighting for my life because I found a local friend musician and I WANT TO REMAIN SINGLE)#(SINGULAR INDEPENDENT AS ONE#but the pull#(me comparing this to Annette when Henry sings about the dark abyss)
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goodnight (its 4 am)
#🗞️#it was a nice date!!! hes a strong contender for the med student but still just a second option sorry.#we talked about music a lot and we listen to the same stuff and we have a similiar outlook on life and we created a business together#and we talked about old taco and the barternders started playing wszystko jedno then nostalgia then 900729 then mięso tben#nastepna stacja etc etc.#and then we came to my place bc he had to wait for a train and im the perfecy spot to wait for that train and so we dry humped for 2 hours.#yayy hashtag sex#it was nice!!! he seems to be good in bed. and he has a stomach and i gave him hickeys on it it turns out.#sorry for losing my mind for a man with a stomach it WILL happen again!!!!!!!!!#the med student has a bigger stomach though so that's why hes no. 1. and im not joking that's literally all there is to it#🦌
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ohhhh the urge to delete instagram
#reels are brainwashing me fr . like they just make me stupid#first of all why is there a label for everything. idgaf about a girl's girl or a guy's girl or mogging or looksmaxxing whatever tf#it doesn't matterrrrrrrrr#all instagram does is ruin self esteem and create mob mentalities and destroy critical thinking and im so over it. IM SO OVER IT!!!!!!!#don't even get me started on how reels have ruined my own self esteem and my perceptions of dating like it's all just so fucking stupid#even when im outside living my life away from my phone i am STILL worried about how im perceived by people. FOR WHAT. why can't i just be m#anyways fuck instagram i hate what it's done to me and literally my entire generation#and i hope there will be a day when i can be my normal self again and let social media and all of its bullshit go. i just wanna live
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i hate dating sim/otome game where you have no clear way of checking the targets affection for u .. the one im playing right confuse the hell out of me and idk what I'm doing ??
bcuz i obvi went for the emotionally unavailable musican and like, one instance he tease the hell out of the mc and is like very close to her and the next he filrt like hell w an another girl and im like ?? who do u want (also often he filrt w this one girl that we/the mc know has feeling for him, if she isn't lying and it's like urgh !!)
and then the next, when ur spying on a private chat between him and another girl with whom he filrt too soemtime, she is like haha ur so silly x3 but also ... im jealous that [the dude she's interested in and it's painfully obvious] doesn't look my way and look at mc ... she rlly is popular isn't she? he's like lol wdym, and she is like it's so obvious [her crush] like her and he's so over the top .. but aren't u jealous, don't u like her ? he's like lol noo and poof u can't spy on them anymore like BABE u do not know im here, she told u who she like and ur willing to do the same ??
aaand also it feel very confusing when the girls crush literally wasn't talked to us since the first episode of the game when we go on a date w him bcuz it just doesn't work and when we finally talk a bit it's bcuz u girlie are here and is his old friend he meet will traveling the world and u both have like a very close relationship??? how tf am i stealing ur spot, ive been trying to either get in the musican or the sea guy pant, not ur man !! not sicne the beginning at least !! (and i haven't tried w the business mam bcuz a third girlie has her claim on him and hell no i am not fighting her for ... mr business)
#rambles 🧸#did u know i have a big thing for otome game / dating sim#and places myself at the place of the mc and play those games like my life depend on them#like they will be impacting my life#also without the context of the game this must be so confusing to read im sorry#anywho i feel so confused and i feel loke they are toying with me right now#+ now im thinking of playing the musician route at 100% and create myself 3 others accounts to play the 3 others guys routes ...#bcuw u can't save your entire route in this game ? just the ending and i don't wanna undo everything to just play an another route and just#have the ending of the others
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y'all don't even know about The Timeline 😳
#mal's shitposts#for context whenever i like a media of some kind and it ends#i almost always end up creating an entire labelled timeline of my headcanons#the most intense one i think is my lunar chronicles one#where the birthdays of the gen 2 characters are dated and TIMED#yes i labelled THE TIME OF DAY THEY WERE BORN#someone should do their star charts lmao#yet another example of the only part of my life that's organized being. my fanfiction
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