#crazy this year as much as i want to buy every one

[drunk-person]

The tomb of liars (The Gossip) P.10

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x cousin!reader

Summary: One of the most talked about gossips among the lower class servants in Kings Landing is the fact (or not) that Aemond Targaryen got involved with his cousin Y/n Targaryen when they were both teenagers. Mainly due to the fact that at the age of 17 she was sent to Old Town overnight. Some employees claim that Aemond was caught between her legs. Some say that, like her father, she had had a horrible fight with her uncle and aunt and was sent away. And other than that none of this happened, she just became interested in the course offered at the Old Town conservatory. But now five years later, Y/n Targaryen is back, and rumors haunt those who favor them.

This chapter is a part of a main story The gossip, you can find the previous chapter, summary and general tags by accessing the link.

Summary of the chapter: Back five years ago, to the tragic night that changed a life and forever altered every dream.

Warnings of the chapter: 18+, pounds and pounds of teenage romance, teenagers being totally crazy and hormonal, teenagers discovering themselves, young love, family fights, dysfunctional family, severe trauma, mentions of depression, religious guilt, mention of purification rituals, no description for reader.

Word count: 16.500 k

A/n: I hope you enjoy the new chapter. For those who want the songs of the chapter: Demons by Boyce Avenue and You've Got A Way by Shania

*The author strongly advises using a tissue box

"Good morning Kings Landing, it seems that Y/n Targaryen, known daughter of Prince Rouge, left our city for an indefinite period of time the night before. The Targaryen family did not inform the reason, the only thing that is known is that apparently she decided to spend some time in Old Town with her aunt's family. Doesn't look much like our girl, does it?"

❦❦❦

After the first time they made love, it became an addiction for Aemond and Y/n that neither of them could give up. It was like when they learned to kiss a few years before, but much worse. And after a few times using condoms, the two decided together that they would like to try without, with that in mind they went stealthily to a pharmacy in the Flea Basin after class to buy birth control pills for Y/n without even looking properly at the pharmacist in the process for fear of being recognized by someone.

Everything got even better if that was possible, neither of them could keep their hands to themselves no matter how hard they tried, their brains seemed to be controlled exclusively by crazy hormones that made them jump on each other whenever they had the chance. Like on a particularly boring night when they went to dinner at the luxurious restaurant of the Aegon's Fort hotel and during dinner the two of them ran off to make out in the hidden bathroom, exchanging kisses uncontrollably amid euphoric laughter.

Little by little they were discovering things about each other's bodies, they became wilder about it and less careful. Like when on a trip to Harrenhall in the ancient history seminar everyone decided to go to a party and as the two of them danced too close to each other, Aemond started saying dirty things in Y/n's ear and caressing her in a way that was too intimate for a dance floor in a public place full of acquaintances. When the club's lights went out during a small power outage, he had two fingers buried deep in her heat, and she sighed against his neck, grabbing him shamelessly.

Every time Viserys traveled on business and took Alicent with him, the two of them do whatever they wanted with the peace of mind that they would not be caught. Like the day they stole a bottle of wine from the cellar and drank it to the end, having gotten terribly drunk for the first time in their lives, alone and hidden in the attic of the mansion.

Dancing to an old song that neither of them knew, but that Aemond had put on to play on the old record player that had been stored away for years. Spinning around on the wooden floor until they could no longer stand and fell onto the carpet, hugging each other and just laughing like idiots lying on the floor while they admired each other, exchanging sweet kisses and soft caresses, talking in characteristic voices with alcohol slurred voices.

-Aemond? - S/n's laughing, alcohol-slurred voice sounded as she stared at him, slightly cross-eyed.

-Hmm? - He stared back at her, laughing, his eyes slightly lost.

-The roof is spinning for me. Is it spinning for you too? - She asked, holding back her laughter and looking up again.

-Yeah. Fucking spinning. - The oldest confirmed, dragging his own hand across the floor until he reached hers and held it affectionately between his fingers.

-How does Aegon manage to do this all the time? - She laid her head to the side, looking at him and laughing at her own dizziness.

-I have no idea, but I'm sure I can't get up from the floor without falling. - Aemond murmured, laughing, caressing the palm of her hand, tracing the lines delicately.

-Do you think they really tell destiny? - Y/n bit her lips curved in a questioning and slightly silly smile. - Hel thinks so.

-Nonsense. - Aemond rolled his eyes a little credulous and his voice slurred. - We chose our own destiny, I chose you to be mine. - He left a kiss on their intertwined hands. - But if they did, your name would definitely be written on mine.

-And yours in mine. - Her eyes shining as she gently pulled him into a kiss full of innocent affection, gently brushing her nose against his while Aemond held her hand firmly next to his.

They both got really good at not getting caught. The problem is that when you get really good at something you tend to underestimate the intelligence of the people around you.

Like the night Aegon found out everything by catching Aemond sucking on S/n's nipple while he fucked her in the pool on a particularly hot midnight, when Viserys and Alicent were traveling once again. It started innocently enough, just like everything else in their lives, the two were just watching a movie cuddled up on the couch when S/n suggested that he could take a dip in the pool since they were alone, making Aemond agree.

They were just swimming around each other while cooling off, splashing each other and laughing. Until when they were both almost at their peak, Aegon's shrill scream echoed throughout the garden along with the sound of the table with an umbrella that was in the pool area falling to the ground when the oldest leaned on it in shock, knocking it over in process.

-You shouldn't be home! - Aemond shouted with his eyes slightly wide as he and Y/n readjusted their underwear to cover themselves. - It should be in your house! What the fuck are you doing here?

-And you two shouldn't be fucking in the fucking pool! - Aegon shouted with his hands on his head, looking around in shock as Aemond got out of the water and went towards him.

-Stop screaming! - Y/n hissed in a whisper and followed Aemond out of the pool with her entire body red with embarrassment, feeling her cheeks burning. - Someone is going to hear you, you idiot!

-You can't tell your mother anything about this! - Aemond spoke very seriously, but with his skin equally flushed, staring at his older brother. - Seriously, Aegon!

-Do you think I'm stupid? - He chuckled ironically, turning his body backwards while rolling his eyes. -Fuck, she’s going to go so crazy when she finds out about this. - The oldest of the three put his hands on his head while cursing visibly in panic. - Damn. Damn. Fuck.

-She won't find out anything! - Aemond hissed. - We're going to tell her! But only in a few years when no one can do anything about it.

-How long have you been doing this? - The oldest whispered, looking from one to the other, still shocked.

-Some time. - Y/n murmured, looking at the back of Aemond's head as she tried to cover herself by wearing his shirt, as she was only wearing her panties and bra when the two jumped into the pool.

-Oh shit! - Aegon made an instant grimace of shock when he heard that.

-What are you doing here anyway? - Aemond hissed, changing the subject as he put on the black shorts he was wearing earlier.

-Jaehaerys forgot that weird stuffed caterpillar Hel gave him here. - Aegon rolled his eyes, momentarily distracted as he spoke about his son. - He doesn't sleep without her.

-You left Jaehaerys alone? - Y/n widened her eyes at the suddenly shrill voice.

-Yes, I left my two-year-old baby alone in my apartment. - The eldest rolled his eyes ironically. - Obviously not Y/n, my maid, Mr. Dancil is with him.

-By the Gods. - Aegon grumbled one last time, looking from his brother to his cousin in deep shock before entering the mansion in search of the stuffed caterpillar with his hands clasped behind his neck.

Just as promised, Aegon didn't say anything about what he had seen in the pool. After the scare that night, both Y/n and Aemond had become more careful about touching in public. But that didn't stop Aemond from leaving love notes or openly depraved notes signed with just an "A" in Y/n's locker every time he passed by on his way to advanced calculus class. Or that he would place his hands on her thighs as they studied at a picnic table tucked away on the school grounds.

-I'm worried, Aem. - She mumbled with a frown, leaning over her books as she felt him caressing soft circles under the hem of her cheer uniform skirt, absentmindedly, while he wrote something in his own notebook with his other hand.

-Mmmm. - He mumbled, frowning, putting the pen aside and staring at her. - What is it?

-I barely understand this subject with your help, I have no idea what I'm going to do in my senior year when you're in college. - She huffed resignedly, making a loose strand of hair fly over her eye.

-You'll do fine either way. - Aemond laughed when he saw a caricature of the calculus teacher with a lightning bolt striking him in the head in the upper corner of Y/n's book and smiled drumming his fingers gently on her leg. - You shouldn't underestimate yourself so much. You got a good grade on the last test.

-You know very well that I looked at Elyrio's answers on that test Aem. - She sighed laughingly, looking at him from under her eyelashes.

-And you know very well that that's cheating. - He murmured ironically, drawing a gentle circle on her thigh with his fingertips.

-Only if I get caught! - She rolled her eyes, biting her lower lip as she arched her eyebrow at him laughingly.

-I can't wait to be free of all this and be able to do only what I want. - She smiled, still lying her head on the picnic table, imagining the future.

-Just a year and a half. - Aemond murmured with a slight smile on his lips, lightly squeezing her thigh under her skirt. - And we will be far from all this, starting our own lives.

Her eyes lit up instantly when she heard him say those words, and with a smile Aemond guided his free hand to her hair, leaving a gentle caress on her scalp, continuing to speak in a low and cheerful voice.

-I've even looked at some apartments for us, temporary of course. Just until we finish the college, so we can get rid of all this madness and buy our own home. - He smiled beautifully at her. - You'll love one of them, it's in Aegon's building, but it has a beautiful view.

Y/n had to restrain herself with all her strength not to jump on him and kiss him right there when she heard him talking so lovingly about the plans he had for the two of them.

-I'll make everything beautiful! - She smiled excitedly, looking at him, already lifting her head from the table. - We could paint the walls yellow, what do you think? It would bring joy to the environment, buildings are so sad. - She curled her lips thoughtfully. - And plants! - Y/n smiled even more, closing her eyes and imagining. - I'll put several of them everywhere, with lots of flowers.

-Don't put plants near my books, Highness. - He rolled his eyes. - Or it will make them grow mold.

-Okay. - Y/n was barely listening as she imagined everything with excitement and Aemond couldn't help but smile just by seeing her smiling.

-I have to go to fencing. - He rolled his eyes when he saw that free time was almost over.

-Oh you won't believe it… - She smiled mischievously biting her lower lip and staring at him.

-What did you do?

-I convinced the student council that the fencing team needs cheerleaders as much as any other team in the school… this means... - She winked at Aemond gracefully making him laugh and shake his head negatively. - Saturday I'll be there courtside with my pom poms cheering for you!

-The correct term is piste. - He smiled ironically, unable to stop himself from pulling her into a hug and murmuring against her hair.

-Whatever, I'll root for you to destroy them all anyway. - She laughed, rolling her eyes and placing a kiss on his cheek that left a pink lipstick mark.

❦❦❦

The months seemed to fly by, Aemond's 18th birthday had arrived and with it the end of summer vacation. Y/n and he had taken a month-long trip to Dorne with the excuse of visiting Helaena at college together, the two of them actually visited her but obviously did a lot more in their free time. With Y/n driving Aemond crazy and buying almost half the clothes in the city. While he rolled his eyes and said that if she was good and had the kindness to go with him to the main bookstore he could let her play designer with him.

It had been an incredible month, the two of them living alone in Dorne doing only what they wanted, he almost forgot that there was a life beyond that. It was almost like in their dreams where there was only love and happiness, but now they were home again and reality called.

Aemond was lying on the bed motionless, stared at the ceiling. He was going to college on Monday, and had seriously thought about staying at home for another year and moving out only the following year, but the reason would be too obvious and they didn't want to raise any more suspicions.

He and Y/n could do this, they would see each other whenever possible since he was going to KLU (Kings Landing University). When they asked if he didn't want to study abroad, Aemond promptly replied that he would like to study in Kings Landing, since one of the best and oldest universities was in the city and he could do an internship at the family company. Omitting the main reason, Y/n was in Kings Landing, and he wouldn't go anywhere without her.

The sound of the door slowly opening took him out of his thoughts and he smiled when he saw Y/n entering his room wearing a pearly satin cardigan down to her knees. She locked the door behind her and with a smile ran towards Aemond's bed, throwing the cardigan aside, jumping on the sheets and crawling under the duvet.

-Come here. - Aemond pulled her into a side hug and she laid her head against his bare chest.

Y/n caressed his hand and looked at him from under her eyelashes, Aemond immediately knew that she wanted something and was not finding the words to tell him.

-What happened? - He asked, caressing her cheek with his fingertips.

And Y/n, still unable to find words, brought her hand to his chin and pulled him in for a kiss. The two continued kissing languidly in sync, and she climbed onto Aemond's lap, sitting on his thighs, making the grayish nightgown she was wearing rise up her own thighs.

She stared at Aemond as she bit her lower lip gently and nervously reached for the hem of her nightgown, pulling it up and revealing her completely naked body underneath. And even though by now Aemond had seen her naked hundreds of times, he was still mesmerized by the sight of her beautiful body.

-Happy birthday. - She said, looking at him slightly shyly, which was confusing Aemond since Y/n hadn't been shy around him for a while. She walked around naked in front of him as if it were nothing, she was confident in her own body because she knew Aemond idolized it. And suddenly he worried that he had done something that had made her insecure.

-Did I do something that made you uncomfortable? - He asked as he gently stroked her waist and looked into her eyes.

-No, I just want to do something different today. - She sighed, looking into his eyes. - Something we've never done before.

-What? - He asked curiously, still caressing her waist.

Y/n placed her hands over Aemond's, removing them from her waist and guiding them to her ass, and sighing when she felt Aemond squeeze her gently.

-Y/n. - Aemond looked at her very seriously as he began to understand the connotation of what she meant.

-This is your gift. The last part of me that hasn't been yours yet. - She said against his neck with a soft and gentle voice as she left a gentle kiss on the scar on his shoulder.

-You don't need to do that. - He sighed against her soft hair, feeling that sweet and soft scent that made his soul happy. - I never asked you to do that. - Aemond looked into her eyes with nothing but affection as he caressed her bare back with his fingertips. - You don't need to feel like you have to do anything to please me, you know that.

-I want Aem. - She smiled with her hands against his cheeks, caressing him sweetly with the tips of her thumbs, tracing every mark and every line on Aemond's skin. - I want you in every way and in every possible way. - She murmured, looking into his eyes with such a passionate glow that Aemond almost lost his breath.

-I would let you do anything to me, and however you wanted because I know that with you it will always be good. - She slowly traced his soft lips with the tip of her index finger, smiling with a candid look that did not match at all the situation they were in. - Please Aemond, accept my gift.

-I love you. - He murmured very quietly close to her, his lips almost touching the shell of her ear.

That night, like every part of herself that Y/n had ever offered him, Aemond accepted willingly, taking her for himself with passion and desire, completely aware of the fact that Y/n was totally and entirely his, with every piece of herself that she was able to give him.

❦❦❦

It was being harder than they both imagined to get through that year. Aemond had no idea how bad it would be not to see Y/n every day and night and how much he would miss her. The two exchanged calls and messages, but it still wasn't enough. They met religiously in the meadow near Kings Wood every Saturday morning and would lie on the flowers talking for hours to kill the longing, laughing hugging each other while looking at the white clouds in the sky.

-I'm going to stay in the dorm until the end of the year, I don't want to move without you. - He whispered to her in the second week, when after he complained about the noise the other students were making, Y/n suggested that he leave right away and go to the apartment, making her roll her eyes and hug him tightly.

Aemond took advantage of those moments to help Y/n with the work and tasks that she couldn't understand, and almost always ended up doing her calculus homework while rolling his eyes and saying that this was the last time, as he always did every time he did her homework since they were both children.

One of the days after Aemond said that he would probably have to give up fighting or fencing for a while while he adapted to college, the two ended up once again with Aemond trying to teach some moves to Y/n, who just smiled and left occasional kisses on his chin, making him roll his eyes.

-Every time we do this I feel like I'm in kung fu panda. - She laughed, biting her lower lip and looking at him, not taking it seriously. - It's like I'm Po and you're Master Shi-fu.

-First of all, this drawing doesn't make sense. - Aemond rolled his eyes, grabbing her arm and gently turning her around, keeping her trapped against his body. - And if we were there, I'd definitely be Po and you'd be Tigress.

-I like that! - She laughed without caring about being trapped by his arms looking at him over her shoulder. - I want a stuffed panda bear now to name him Aemond!

-Mmmmm. - Aemond rolled his eyes deeply, throwing his head back as he moaned at her words.

-You're the one who gave me the idea. - She laughed, kissing his neck.

On the days when Aemond arrived first to the meadow, which was almost every time, Y/n would find him waiting for her with a smile and a bouquet of freshly picked colorful flowers in his hand, always telling her how much he had missed her during the week while leaving a soft kiss on the younger girl's forehead and pulling her into a hug soon after.

-Bad week? - He smiled against Y/n's hair who sighed with her head lying against his chest holding the bouquet in her hands as she gently ran her fingers over the petals.

-I think you'd better not be too close to me today. - She pulled away when she coughed a little, and then rolled her eyes. - I did a biology project with Pia Rosby and she was sick, she probably passed it on to me.

-You better go to the doctor soon. - Aemond frowned. - You almost never get sick.

-I know! - Y/n rolled her eyes even deeper with a slightly shrill voice. - Damn Pia Rosby!

Aemond just laughed, pulling her back to him.

-Aemond! - She scolded, pushing him by the shoulders. - I told you, you're going to get sick!

-I don't care much, I can only see you once a week, I'm not going to waste it. If I get sick, it's the will of the gods. - He murmured laughing and kissed her again making Y/n roll her eyes and reluctantly returned the kiss.

She did get sick, but Aemond didn't; something he made a point of mocking by stating how good his immunity was, making Y/n deeply roll her eyes at the phone during the call in which the two talked about it. They were both really excited since Y/n was better after almost a week, and at the weekend the family would travel together for Corlys Velaryon's birthday in Driftmark and the two could finally spend more than a few hours together.

Practically all the important families of Westeros were present when the night of the ball finally arrived. Aemond and Y/n didn't care at all, the two were just too busy around each other, laughing and talking in the corners while they thought no one was watching them.

-Alicent, don't you think all this closeness between Aemond and Y/n is strange? - Oto asked with serrated lips and a frown as he watched the two dancing together around the room.

-Nonsense. - The youngest waved her hand at her father with a dismissive look, more concerned with watching Aegon who was drinking and laughing with some acquaintances.

-They're just friends. - She shrugged, looking at them briefly and then looking away back at her eldest son. - They both have difficulty getting close to people, they became friends right away. Y/n is a good girl, she's innocent, she always goes with me to the sept, I don't see any problems.

-Last week I heard her telling the septa that she hadn't even had her first kiss yet. - Alicent murmured, making light of the matter and with a hint of pride in her voice.

-I think it's best to keep your eyes open about what Aemond and that girl might be doing, you know, my daughter, tongues talk, and the apple usually doesn't fall far from the tree. - Oto grumbled between his teeth, staring fixedly at Aemond and Y/n. - We don't want another problem.

Alicent looked once more in the direction of her son and niece, frowning softly as she watched Aemond spin her around and then lay her back while they both laughed, looking at each other happily, but with a strange glint in their eyes that suddenly made a new wrinkle appear on her forehead.

-Did you know that this…

-Was one of your mother's favorite songs? - Aemond concluded for her with an arched eyebrow and a sideways smile, making the youngest laugh and throw her head back.

-Yeah, you know. - She laughed even more when he spun her around and turned her back towards him.

-And that this is your favorite too? - He asked, still with the smug sideways smile on his lips, making Y/n roll her eyes deeply and restrain herself with all her might not to kiss him right there in response.

-I think it suits us. - She shrugged her shoulders smiling. - You make me feel that way. - Y/n looked down at her feet before looking at Aemond again and continuing. - Hopeful… beloved…

-Because I love you. - He murmured with his heart racing, sweetly caressing the base of her back with the tips of his fingers making her smile.

-I love you too, Aem. - She whispered only for him to hear, her eyes shining with joy.

-I think this circus will never end so I can love you right. - He rolled his eyes, snorting and looking around the party, which seemed far from over. - It's been two months.

-Last week. - She rolled her eyes, laughing as the two went further and further into the corner, away from the dance floor.

-That day in the meadow doesn't count. - He whispered, rolling his eyes. - We both didn't even take off our clothes. I want to take good care of you, the way I know you like it. - He smiled against her ear, making her blush, and then he twirled her around one last time before the song ended.

Both Y/n and Aemond couldn't wait for the celebrations to end, but as Corlys was a man who liked to demonstrate his status, the party seemed to never end. It was well after midnight when hundreds of fireworks were launched into the sky from barges at sea, forming the shape of a flaming seahorse in the night sky. According to him, the seahorse was for him and the fire was for his beloved wife Rhaenys.

Aemond and Y/n just looked at each other to know that the two were thinking about the same thing, and while everyone was distracted admiring the fireworks on the beach, the two ran to Y/n's room while laughing and kissing in the slightly dark hallways, since there was no one there at the time.

They had just fallen onto the bed, still dressed, when Y/n's cell phone alarm went off and she groaned angrily, getting up and taking a medicine pack from her bag.

-Is it the contraceptive? - Aemond frowned when he saw the yellow pill, different from the usual one.

-No, it's the disgusting antibiotic that tastes like rotten fruit that I'm having to take. - She grimaced before putting the medicine in her mouth and swallowing it with some water in pure disgust.

-Thank you again Pia Rosby! - She muttered ironically, rolling her eyes as she pulled the zipper of her dress that was already open to the middle of her back and walked towards him again.

-Are you eating right? - He frowned very seriously as he asked while gently holding her behind her thighs. - This kind of medicine is really strong.

-Yeah. - Y/n smiled, rolling her eyes and nodding. - I even cut out sugar this week, and you didn't even have to pay Daeron to keep bothering me.

-I didn't need it? - He raised his eyebrows, pulling her by thighs and making her fall on top of him.

-Okay, maybe needed a little. - She laughed, pouting and kissing him, tangling her hands in his cousin's silver hair.

Hours later Aemond was lying on Y/n's naked body with his head resting in the valley between her breasts breathing slowly as he felt the rhythmic beats of her heart. His right hand was resting on her belly, gently caressing the area with his fingertips.

-I can't wait for us to be married. - He smiled, leaving a chaste kiss on the soft skin between her breasts. - And that you're pregnant with our children.

-Do you think we should wait? - Y/n sighed, feeling his touch. - Until we finish college? I don't know if I can wait that long! - She smiled, looking at him, biting her lower lip while her eyes sparkled with joy.

-Maybe a year or two. - He shrugged, smiling and looking at her from under his eyelashes. - Just until we've adjusted.

-And then. - He left another sweet kiss between her breasts and then went down to her belly, placing a loving kiss there. - We'll have our child.

Y/n practically vibrated with joy below Aemond, a smile from ear to ear on her lips. Overcome by joy, she pulled him up again, leaning forward and leaving a kiss of pure love on Aemond's soft lips.

-I love you! - She sighed after the kiss, brushing her nose against his.

-I love you too. - He murmured with his eyes closed, lost in the caress of her arms, the curtain of his silver silky hair falling over them both.

The sun was already rising when Aemond got dressed and returned to his own room after leaving a few kisses on Y/n's sleepy face, who only laughed and grumbled. The two barely heard the conversations at the family breakfast table, Y/n was too busy trying to make Jaehaerys eat some mashed fruit, since Aegon stared into space, sprawled with the coffee cup in his hand, while Aemond was too busy watching her take care of her nephew while smiling.

-What do you think, Aemond? - Viserys's voice sounded excited, pulling him into the conversation at the table and making him look at his father with a confused look.

-I'm sorry, I was a little distracted. - He cleared his throat and adjusting his posture in the chair under his mother's attentive gaze. - What was the question?

-Corlys and I are going to travel to Vale to close a deal with Jane. - Viserys smiled, taking a sip of juice and cutting the eggs on the plate. - Maybe you should take advantage of the break and come along. It's like my father used to say, college is good, but nothing like real life to learn business.

-That would be great, father. - Aemond smiled slightly and he didn't know if his heart was racing for the opportunity or for the look of pride Y/n gave him as she held Jaehaerys in her arms.

❦❦❦

The trip lasted longer than Viserys expected, and what was supposed to be a week turned into a fruitful trip lasting almost 20 days; since they had gone down to Rune Stone to settle some business with Y/n's uncle who had taken over the company after Rhea's death years ago. Aemond's excitement at being there was almost palpable even though he tried to hide it, looking fondly at the green meadow that Y/n had described to him so many times when they were both children as being her favorite place to play, or just lie down while her mother told her a story and they ate cookies together.

Thinking about it only made his heart ache with longing for her, because since they had met that was the longest amount of time the two had spent apart. Aemond had already found it bad that they only saw each other on Saturdays, but spending all those days without being able to see her, without being able to hear her laugh in person and without being able to touch her… was almost killing him. The calls and messages did very little to help them both.

The afternoon they finally returned to Kings Landing, Aemond didn't even set foot in his college dorm. He went to the mansion with his father smiling and eager to see Y/n in person and tell her about the trip.

-Son, I'm glad you stopped by here before returning to campus. - Alicent caressed his hair, carefully placing a crooked strand in the appropriate place. - I missed you, I hope everything went well.

-Everything went great, Corlys really has a lot to teach. - He murmured, shifting his eyes to the stairs unconsciously. - I just came to pick up a book that I think will be useful. If you'll excuse me mom. - He smiled and left a kiss on Alicent's hand before walking up the stairs, making her roll her eyes at her son's always so gentle manner, but then frown in distrust immediately after seeing him go up the stairs so quickly.

As soon as he opened the door to Y/n's room, he saw her sitting on the bench near the window, looking out over the mansion's wide garden, turning around at the same moment he heard the door click.

-Aemond! - She jumped on him with a huge smile on her lips as soon as she saw him, her heart racing in her chest with longing and anxiety after almost a whole month away as she hugged him affectionately. - How was the trip?

-Absurdly instructive in every way it should be, but totally boring without you. - He kissed her on the lips as he said this. - You know, all this made me think that I can't wait for us to be together next year. - Aemond pulled her even closer to him. - Without having to hide from my mother, so you can run to me and wait for me at the door whenever I come home.

-We'll just hide from everyone else on campus. - He rolled his eyes ironically, leaving a small peck on his lips.

-Mmm, they find our whole family strangely disturbed. They won't be that shocked unless we exchange kisses in public. - He shrugged, making her laugh and throw her head back.

-I can't wait to move in with you either, and you know it! - She stood on tiptoe, giving him a kiss on the nose.

-I brought some gifts for you. - He murmured, hugging her with devotion while he felt her practically rubbing her cheek against his neck.

-I love gifts. - She sighed, smiling close to his ear, making him tighten the hug even more.

-I know that. - Aemond smiled against her hair, leaving a kiss there.

-I brought a dress from one of those stores you're always talking about. - He left a kiss against her ear as he spoke, making Y/n laugh and tilt her head towards his lips with a spasm.

-What color?

-White.

-Did you buy me a wedding dress? - She pulled away, looking at him laughing and arching her eyebrows as she bit her lower lip.

-Not yet. - Aemond sighed and left a soft kiss on her lips.

Little by little the two walked, until they fell sitting together on the same bench below the window, with Y/n sitting on Aemond's lap while he held her firmly close to him.

-How are things in Rune Stone? - She asked quietly, her head resting on his shoulder. - Did my uncle ask about me?

-Yes. - Aemond smiled slightly as he said that, his heart relieved that the man had asked about Y/n's well-being, since he knew she would be upset if he hadn't even remembered and Aemond couldn't lie to her, even if it was for a reason like that.

-He said he would like to come to the capital to see you but he doesn't have time since business is booming with the trade agreements your mother had made years ago that have started to pay off.

-Really? - Y/n smiled, hugging him even tighter and smiling against his chest, feeling a warmth in her chest when she heard those words along with a devastating feeling of pride at knowing that the work her mother had done in life was still thriving.

-Mmm. - Aemond nodded softly, stroking her hair carefully so as not to mess it up. - Rune Stone is really beautiful.

-We could travel there in the summer. - Y/n suggested very excitedly, leaning on Aemond's shoulders to sit better on his thighs.

-I think that would be great. - He murmured, leaving a soft caress on her hand. - By the way, I brought you something from Rune Stone.

-What?

-A teddy bear. - He laughed, holding her waist firmly. - Guess which one.

-A rabbit?

-No, Mr. Bunny would be jealous if he had to share you with another rabbit. - Aemond rolled his eyes, kissing her neck. - He took after me in that aspect.

-I don't know, then. - She laughed, clinging to him. - A cat maybe? Or a bird?

-No and no. - He laughed, hugging her tightly. - The chances are over.

-What was it then? - She smiled anxiously, leaving a kiss on his chin and neck.

-A panda.

Y/n stood still instantly with her eyes shining in a laughing smile.

-No way. - She got up, adjusting her slightly wrinkled clothes.

-Where are you going? - Aemond raised his eyebrow, looking at her.

-I want my dress and my bear. - She smiled, heading towards the door as if it were obvious, and rolling his eyes, he followed her.

The two of them were walking down the stairs laughing when they found Alicent halfway down, looking at them with a strange look on her face, and for a moment Y/n felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end, as if the temperature had dropped 10 degrees in 10 seconds.

-Were you together already? - She asked, raising her eyebrow.

Y/n didn't know what to say at that moment, since her aunt had never cared about the amount of time the two spent together.

-I went to call Y/n to come down. - Aemond took the lead with a carefree voice as he shrugged. - I brought her something from Rune Stone.

-Very kind of you, isn't it Y/n? - Alicent smiled at her and momentarily Y/n managed to breathe again.

-Yes, aunt, but Aemond is always very attentive. - She smiled, looking away at the oldest. - It's in his nature to be like that.

-Not with everyone. - Alicent slightly narrowed her eyes. - Let's all go down, dinner is served. You can give her a gift later, Aemond.

Leaving no room for discussion, Alicent turned around, going down the stairs and waiting for the two on the last steps. With no escape, they went straight down to the dining room, where Viserys was already sitting at the table while the servants made the final adjustments.

-Aegon isn't coming to dinner today? - The patriarch asked, looking toward the door with a frown. - I would like to see Jaehaerys.

-Lyan is in town and asked to see Jaehaerys. - Alicent muttered irritably, pulling the chair to sit down. - As if she really cared about the boy!

Dinner went smoothly after that, until Alicent noticed Y/n who was just moving the food from side to side on the plate instead of eating, since dinner was usually the meal where she ate the most with everyone together at the table talking.

-Darling, is everything okay? - Alicent asked sweetly, looking at her worriedly. - You barely ate breakfast today.

The moment Alicent said that, Aemond raised his eyebrows and looked at Y/n, because he had already told her at least a hundred times not to skip breakfast or eat junk food early in the morning, since she always got sick in the afternoon when she did that.

-Yes, I am, auntie. - She laughed embarrassedly, playing with the food on her plate. - I just shouldn't have eaten all that chocolate earlier.

-Y/n, you're an adult now, I don't need to tell you anymore that you can't eat sugar out of hours. - Alicent murmured with a frown. - I don't want you to end up getting sick.

-Sorry, aunt. - She smiled. - I know you're worried, it's just that Rhaenyra brought those from Essos that I love.

-I already told Rhaenyra not to bring that junk home or she'll end up killing one of you. - Alicent muttered irritably, looking at her own plate, while Aemond continued to stare at Y/n.

-She doesn't mean anything wrong, my dear, she just wants to be kind. - Viserys smiled at his wife, gently taking her hand.

-She does it to affront me because I've told her a million times not to! - She hissed, glaring at her husband.

-I had brought a box of madeleines for you from the Vale, we can open them tomorrow. - Aemond muttered, taking advantage of his parents' argument.

-By the Gods, I never want to see madeleines in front of me again. - She muttered with a slightly disgusted look, making Aemond frown, since the youngest had been crazy about this sweet since they were both children.

-Are you sure you're okay?

-Yes, I just ate a little too much. - She whispered, rolling her eyes. - I was really craving it, so Daeron and I went to the flour street, bought two boxes and ate them while watching TV, but I must have eaten too much because I felt a little sick afterwards.

-I'll have to stay with my mother on this one. - Aemond rolled his eyes, gently stroking her hand under the tablecloth. - You can't eat that much sugar, you know that diabetes is hereditary.

-I know. - She murmured, biting her lower lip and tilting her head to the side with a subtle side smile. - I swear I'll take it easy with the sweets.

-What are you talking about? - Alicent's voice sounded, interrupting the conversation, making Aemond frown in confusion at the strange way his mother was suddenly acting.

-I'm just telling Y/n to cut down on the sugar. - He replied with an arched eyebrow. - Where's Daeron? I haven't seen him since I arrived.

-He's studying at a friend's house, he must be in home soon. - Alicent muttered, looking at her golden wristwatch.

Shortly after the servants began to clear the table, the housekeeper came to Alicent, warning her that Oto was on the phone waiting for her, making the older woman get up and leave them, followed by Viserys, who still had some travel paperwork to organize.

-You have a knack for business, Aemond. - He muttered as he left the room, making Y/n give her cousin a bright smile, who rolled his eyes and pulled her by the hand towards the back living room where their bags were, taking advantage of the fact that Alicent had finally left them alone.

-Have you noticed my mother? - He muttered, pulling the zipper of the suitcase and staring at her. - She's been acting strange.

-She was normal until this morning. - Y/n frowned in confusion. - We went to the sept together yesterday as we always do, nothing extraordinary. Do you think something's wrong?

-I must be just being paranoid. - He shrugged, finally opening the suitcase and taking some things out.

-It wouldn't be the first time. - She laughed, rolling her eyes and then widening them when she saw the teddy bear that Aemond took out of a blue bag.

-Gods, he's so cute. - She smiled, taking it from Aemond's hand with a soft pout on her lips, lowering her voice to almost a whisper before speaking. - I could kiss you right now, you know?

Looking around quickly, Aemond pulled her by the cheeks and placed a soft kiss on her lips, making the younger girl smile against his lips, kissing him back languidly while holding the bear tightly with one hand. The two broke off the kiss, jumping away from each other the moment they heard the sound of the back garden door opening, both with wide eyes, relaxing gently when they saw Daeron come in whistling and throwing his sneakers to the corner before jumping onto the couch, laughing.

-So, how was your trip, big bro? - The younger smiled, lying down on the couch and looking at Y/n and Aemond upside down, frowning when he saw their red faces. - Are you two okay?

-Yup.

-Of course, why wouldn't I be?

The two spoke in a jumbled way at the same time, leaving Daeron even more confused.

-Okay, you guys are weirder than normal today and your normal is already bizarre. - Daeron raised his eyebrows, still staring at the two upside down, until his eyes focused on the stuffed panda in Y/n's hands and he stood up with his eyes shining.

-Where did this bear come from?

-Aemond brought it for me from his trip. - Y/n smiled, inevitably looking at the eldest with a look so passionate that anyone who looked closely could notice.

-And what did I get? - Daeron raised his eyebrow, looking at his older brother very seriously, making Aemond hold his breath for a moment.

-Mmmm…..- After a few moments of thinking he saw the ornate box of madeleines inside the suitcase and smiled pulling it towards the youngest.

-A box of madeleines.

Daeron smiled mischievously, accepting the box of fine sweets from his brother's hands.

-I know this wasn't for me, but I'll accept it anyway because of your lack of consideration for your little brother. - Daeron said laughingly, then jumping over the back of the sofa and running out of the room laughing before Aemond could reach him.

-I'll be in my room playing video games, just make me take off my headphones if someone dies! - He yelled from the stairs.

-Little pest. - The older man muttered, rolling his eyes with a small sideways smile, as he took a package wrapped in purple tissue paper from his suitcase, looking in Y/n's direction right after and handing it to her, who received it eagerly.

-Aem… it's beautiful. - She smiled exultantly when she saw the white dress that should reach her knees.

-It's just like the one you said you wanted the other day. - He smiled, caressing her cheek with the back of his fingers. - Did you like it?

-I loved it! - She smiled, hugging him and leaving a kiss on his neck.

-Put it on for me then. - He murmured against her hair, and Y/n nodded positively, still smiling, already standing up and pulling Aemond's hands with her.

The two went up to the rooms via the back service stairs, laughing and occasionally exchanging kisses, almost dying of fright when one of the maids appeared at the end of the hallway and almost caught the two in the middle of a kiss, but it wasn't the first time that had happened, so the two just entered Aemond's room in a hurry, gently slamming the door behind them.

-Ok, turn your back. - She asked holding the dress to her chest, leaving the bear on her cousin's coffee table. Aemond frowned, slightly arching his eyebrow as he looked at her ironically.

-That's not the point. - Y/n rolled her eyes at him, grabbing him by the shoulders and turning his back while he smiled. - It's supposed to surprise you.

-I'll be surprised anyway. - He murmured with a small smile on his lips, making her leave the little kiss on them before going to the other side of the room to change her clothes.

-You can look. – You can look. - She murmured softly a few moments later and Aemond turned around almost at the same moment, seeing her wearing the beautiful white dress that whether he wanted to or not, made him think about how beautiful she would look wearing a wedding dress.

-Do you like it? - She asked, smiling and smoothing the skirt of the dress carefully.

-Really need to ask? - He curved his eyebrow with a look of enchantment, admiring her, then gently taking her hand and turning it around, making the skirt of the dress flow softly around her as he watched her with devotion.

-You're beautiful.

Y/n just laughed throwing her head back as she spun around and felt Aemond's gentle touch against her skin.

-What are you thinking about? - She whispered with her lips smiling close to his ear, hugging him closer and closer.

-How beautiful you'll look wearing a wedding dress for me. - He murmured against her hair, hugging her back and pulling her towards him, making Y/n smile even more against his neck.

-And you? - He whispered back to her. - What are you thinking about?

-How much I love you. - She murmured, kissing his neck softly. - How much I want to marry you soon, to be yours forever.

-You're mine forever. - He whispered, brushing his lips against hers. - Love you. - He murmured before finally kissing her properly, drawing a sigh from Y/n's lips and making her almost melt against his arms.

-I miss you. - Aemond sighed against her ear, pulling her closer and closer until they both fell onto his made bed.

-Me too. - Y/n mounted him, placing one leg on each side and kissing him languidly while Aemond moved his hands up and down her back, waist and hips, squeezing her with devotion.

In pure affection and adoration, he undid the satin ties that held the dress to her shoulders, gently pulling it down little by little, exposing Y/n's beautiful skin, on which he distributed soft kisses.

-So beautiful, my love. - He sighed, putting his head between her breasts. - So beautiful to me.

-Wait… - She gasped under his touch, making Aemond stop kissing and look at her confused.

-You're going to wrinkle my new dress. - Y/n complained, making him laugh softly in a nasal way, supporting himself on the mattress with his hands while she got up and finished taking off her dress, folding it carefully and placing it on top of the stuffed bear.

-Protecting those poor innocent eyes? - Aemond joked since Y/n always covered Mr. Bunny's eyes when they made love in her room, while he pulled her by the thighs to climb on top of him again, making her roll her eyes, pulling the hem of his shirt and throwing it carelessly on the bed.

The two rolled around in the sheets lost in each other's touch, Aemond didn't even realize when he had taken off his pants, but he knew he was only in his underwear between Y/n's legs, who was completely naked for him, while he kissed her more and more deeply.

-Be careful, they are a bit sensitive. - Y/n sighed when he kissed her breasts, and Aemond nodded gently, kissing her even more.

Y/n panted and sighed, every touch from Aemond was a wave of happiness in her body and she was always yearning for more. Her back arched against the sheets amidst slight tremors of pleasure as Aemond tortured her with his mouth between her thighs, occasionally murmuring dirty things, or how much he loved her, making her throw her head back in ecstasy, feeling her legs tremble on the verge of climax.

Lost amidst the euphoria, neither of them heard the sound of the door opening and the light footsteps entering the room. It was there, at that moment that suddenly everything went to hell as the door to Aemond's room opened without warning and Alicent entered distractedly calling him.

-Aemond, your father asked… - She didn't finish the question before emitting a horrified scream that echoed through the walls of the room, when she saw her son between Y/n's legs while the girl was lying among the pillows with her eyes closed and clinging to him.

Aemond instantly got off of Y/n while trying to cover both of their nakedness with a sheet as fast as he could, hiding Y/n's body behind his own. The two of them looked scared like two deer caught in the headlights, motionless and unable to form a word that made sense.

-Mom… what. - Aemond could barely form a coherent sentence, his heart racing in panic while he could feel Y/n's heart racing against his back. - Both of us… we..

-By the Gods, everyone told me something was wrong, everyone did. - Alicent scolded with bloodshot eyes and her hands resting on her head looking in the direction of the two. - But I said no.

-Aunt. - Y/n cried to Alicent wrapped in Aemond's sheets, still hidden behind his body trying to hide her own nakedness.

-Don't call me aunt! I took you in as a daughter when you were nothing more than a poisonous viper. - Alicent screamed lividly, going towards the bed and stopping when she saw the dress and the teddy bear on the table, her eyes burning even more with anger at that moment.

Aemond didn't even get dressed, he just grabbed the shirt that Y/n had thrown on the bed moments ago, and with trembling hands he put it over his cousin's head trying to preserve it, while she shrank closer and closer to him, barely able to move to put on her panties under the sheets with Alicent's shrill screams echoing through the room.

-This is an affront to the seven, an affront to our family! - Alicent screamed louder and louder. - Do you have the slightest idea what would happen if someone found out about this?

-Aemond, my son, how could you let yourself be corrupted by this… this… tramp! - Her voice dripped venom and anger.

Y/n felt those words as if they were a slap in her face. Her sweet aunt, who had taken such good care of her throughout her life, looking at her with disgust, as if she were the lowest trash she had ever seen in her life, and addressing her in such a cruel way.

-That's enough, mother! - Aemond hissed back with a deadly look, putting on the pants that were thrown on the floor, briefly moving away from Y/n to do so. - You're not going to talk about her like that!

Alicent found herself even more horrified, if that was possible. Aemond had never raised his voice to her in his entire life. Never, not once had he done anything other than obey. And now here he was, yelling at her while standing in front of Y/n defensively.

Y/n in turn felt exposed, barely able to move on the bed, tightly holding onto Aemond's arm, who was standing in front of her, staring at her mother. The once safe environment of the room now felt cold and hateful, with the walls seeming to compact on them with each passing second.

-Get your hands off him, you manipulative snake! - Alicent shouted angrily, walking quickly towards the bed and pulling Y/n's arm tightly away from Aemond's protective touch, pulling her out of the bed, making Y/n squeal with the sudden pull, trying to move her arm away. from the angry touch of the aunt.

-Don't touch her! - Aemond shouted, trying to make Alicent let go of Y/n, his hands were shaking as were his lips.

-Auntie… please stop it! - Y/n begged through tears, feeling Alicent's unshakable grip compressing her arm as the older woman tried to pull her away from Aemond, who in turn tried to hold his mother in desperation.

-What in the seven hells is happening here? - Viserys' voice thundered through the room, leaving everything suddenly silent, making Alicent finally let go of Y/n's arm, who was hugged by Aemond at the same time as the two walked away from Alicent, trembling and with frightened eyes.

-Viserys, this girl has desecrated our home! - Alicent screeched, going towards her husband with bloodshot eyes. - You don't know the filthy act that I witnessed when I entered this room!

Viserys barely breathed as he looked in the direction of Aemond and Y/n, finding them half-naked, she only wearing Aemond's shirt and panties and he only wearing his pants still unbuttoned. Both disheveled and clinging to each other, Y/n crying and Aemond looking on the verge of tears as he hovered in front of Y/n protectively. The messy bed further evidenced what kind of unholy activities Alicent was referring to.

-What did you two do. - Viserys muttered tiredly, bringing his hand to his forehead and then sliding it to the bridge of his nose, his tone not a question, it was almost a disgusted statement.

-It was her! - Alicent scolded. - She did! I shouldn't have accepted this idea of yours of bringing this girl here knowing who her father is! She corrupted my son!

-That's enough mom! - Aemond shouted again when he heard her talk that way about Y/n and when he felt his cousin sobbing softly against his skin. -Father, that's not true. - He looked very seriously at Viserys.

-Madam, is everything ok here? - A maid's voice echoed through the hallway, making Alicent's eyes widen and she practically ran towards the door, slamming it hard.

-Get out of here! - She shouted at the woman before she reached the bedroom door. - I don't want anyone out of the kitchen until further notice, anyone who leaves there without being called will be thrown into the street!

-Alicent… do you think it's sensible… - Viserys started but was interrupted by her at the same moment.

-What is sensible, Viserys? Let the employees see this depravity and go around spreading what happened here everywhere? - She scoffed rolling her eyes at her husband. - No, absolutely not! I will not let Aemond be tarnished like this in front of everyone!

-For the love of the gods, Alicent, let's at least talk about this somewhere else. - Viserys said, looking around where the dress Y/n had worn to dinner was still visible discarded on the floor next to the table, as well as the strong smell still present in the air in the stuffy room.

Alicent's eyes went in the same direction as Viserys', hovering again over the white dress and the teddy bear, which she clutched tightly under the watchful eye of Aemond, who was still paralyzed on the other side of the room, holding Y/n tightly against him.

Y/n only had time to put on a pair of shorts and Aemond a shirt, before they were taken by the elders to Viserys' office, both without making a sound, just holding on to each other exchanging frightened looks, feeling a weight so heavy in their hearts that it almost suffocated them both.

The path to the office seemed to be hundreds of miles long while the ground beneath them seemed to burn them as much as Alicent's glare against their backs, the sound of the door closing behind them sounded more like the sound of a saddle than anything else in the world.

-When did this start? - Viserys finally asked firmly, looking at the two very seriously with Alicent at his side.

-Father, it wasn't like that my mother is making it out to be. - Aemond took the lead, taking a deep breath before caressing Y/n's arm protectively. - It's not a dirty thing… it's not like that… we… - He took another breath before continuing. - We both love each other, father. I love Y/n. I always did.

There was no uncertainty in Aemond's voice, much less in his gaze. Everything about him emanated determination and strength, as he openly declared his love and tried to reassure Y/n through soft touches.

-We were going to tell the truth eventually. -He murmured, pulling Y/n even closer to him. - Father, I want to marry Y/n.

Alicent thought she was going to die when she heard those words. The pieces slowly fell into place in Alicent's head as she looked from the two of them to the white dress and that damn bear she had brought with her. The gifts he had brought for her from his trip, and without blinking she threw both into the fireplace, covering the room with the smell of burnt fabric.

-No! - Y/n screamed, running towards the fireplace, grabbing the poker in an attempt to pull what was left of the beautiful dress and the bear away from the fire, but it was too late. The flames had already consumed everything they touched.

Tears ran down her face uncontrollably as a horrible feeling of nausea made her stomach churn with bile rising in her throat. Aemond's arms wrapped around her, holding her in the midst of her broken sobs. His voice said something softly in an attempt to calm her, but she could barely hear him, too lost in the feeling of pain and fear. She could barely speak, mute with panic.

-You will only marry her over my dead body, Aemond! - She shouted, glaring at them both. - I will not let you disgrace your name and ours!

-I don't care about my name! I don't care about any of that! I will marry Y/n, whether you like it or not! - He shouted, standing up from his cousin's side and walking towards his parents in a rage, making the room fall into a deadly silence, only Y/n's sobs being heard.

-Hey, what's going on? Where's everybody? - Aegon's relaxed voice came down the hallway, muffled by the door, which soon opened and revealed him smiling. The smile slowly faded from his face when he saw Y/n with bloodshot eyes crying while Aemond had a look that made it seem like he was being slaughtered alive.

-Shit. - He muttered motionless in the doorway, making his mother's look of fury turn to him, with the realization that the oldest was already aware of these facts.

-Did you know about this? - Alicent shouted, making Aegon flinch under his mother's shrill voice, and under the burning slap she delivered to his left cheek. - You idiot!

-Where did I go wrong in creating you? - She scolded more than angrily, looking like she was about to explode with fury. - What did I do to deserve this?

-Alicent, the best thing now is to stay calm to resolve all this and…

-Not! - She interrupted Viserys strongly again. - Viserys, I will not tolerate this! I demand that something be done about this immediately!

-And what do you expect me to do? - He asked tiredly, looking from his wife to his children and niece. Aegon further away, watching everything with a glazed look, and Aemond and Y/n hugged each other, slightly trembling with scared eyes.

-I want her out of my house right now! Far away from my children! - The older woman looked even more angrily in direction where Y/n was next to Aemond.

-Wife Y/n is under our guardianship until she is 22 years old, we cannot simply send her away. - Viserys murmured thoughtfully. - Unless we send her to stay with her father in Pentos.

Y/n and Aemond's eyes widened simultaneously upon hearing that. Pentos was miles away, even by plane, it would take weeks for them to be able to see each other in person again, even if they were in hiding.

Alicent, on the other hand, scoffed at her husband's idea, putting her hands on her hips as she spoke.

-Sending her to stay in that den of perversion with that demon of a father will only make things worse! - Alicent and Viserys spoke as if the rest of them weren't in the room, as if they weren't deciding the future they had dreamed of and planned for without their consent.

-Then what do you suggest? - Viserys asked and Y/n and Aemond held their breath.

-I want her to spend some time in Old Town. - Alicent demanded firmly, staring at her husband. - The conservatory of the septas will help her regain her composure and dignity.

-What? No! - Y/n squealed in panic when she heard those words. - No, please, aunt, I don't want to go there! My whole life is here! - And unconsciously she looked at Aemond as she said those words, irritating Alicent even more.

-Viserys either you send her to Old Town until dawn or I leave this house! - She hissed in the direction of her husband, who seemed to be on the verge of a heart attack.

-Uncle… uncle, please. - She begged, crying and walking towards her uncle, taking his hands in hers as she always did when she wanted to ask him for something. - Please, don't let her do this to me… Please!

-Y/n, my dear, you know I love you, but I can't leave things this way. Maybe it would be good for both of you to take some time apart. You are still too young to make such important decisions that could change both of your lives forever. - He muttered in an exhausted voice, looking from Y/n to Aemond. - You are too young for all this. You shouldn't even be involved in this kind of relationship yet!

-Father, by the gods, don't do this! - Aemond finally came to his senses after the shock that his mother's words caused him, practically begging, while he felt a pain so strong that it was almost physical when he saw the desperation in Y/n's eyes. - By the Gods… I swear I won't touch her again… I swear. Please don’t do that.

-Aemond… - Viserys barely had time to finish and the younger had already interrupted him, his eyes wide with fear.

-It only happened once! - Aemond lied, his eyes shining with unshed tears, aware that neither his father, much less his mother, believed it. - It was only once! I… I promise it won't happen again, please let her stay.

-You're blatantly lying to me, Aemond! - Alicent screeched. - You've been lying for who knows how long! And it's all because of her influence!

-It's my fault! - He screamed in despair, his hands on his head. - It was me! I asked to sleep with her, it was all my idea, she was innocent until I started all this, I swear… she didn't even know what she was doing. I forced myself on her! - He hissed on the verge of tears. - Punish me, not her! Please, father!

-No! - Y/n screamed with a high-pitched voice in horror through tears upon hearing Aemond say those things and upon seeing Viserys' disappointed look in his direction.

-No, no, no! Uncle, that's not true! Stop saying things like that! - She held Aemond's face between her palms, looking at him in despair. - You can't say those things, Aemond!

-I can't let them do this to you. - He murmured, staring at her with teary eyes filled with pain.

-Not saying things like that about yourself. - She sobbed, bringing her hand to his face.

-That's enough! - Alicent shouted angrily. - There's no decision to be made, Y/n is going to Old Town! It's already decided!

There was no more waiting, no more warnings, Y/n couldn't even go to her own room to pack her bags. Even when the two begged for her to be taken to Pentos, Alicent would not accept, Y/n was only sent to Old Town in the early hours of that day, before dawn was complete. She didn't even go to the airport to avoid even more gossip, she left by helicopter from the mansion's gardens.

She and Aemond didn't want to let go of each other, and they had to call Criston, one of the security guards, to hold Aemond while Harold, the general head of security, took Y/n to the helicopter while she cried copiously, hugging herself, feeling her heart tearing more and more with each step she took further away from Aemond.

To Alicent's complete and utter disgust, Aemond broke free from Criston, ran to Y/n, and without even being embarrassed by that perversion in public, he pulled her into a kiss in the middle of the gardens.

Y/n, when she saw him running towards her, immediately let go of Harold to throw herself into Aemond's arms one last time, and return the most painful kiss the two had ever shared in their lives.

Tears of pure pain ran down their faces and the kiss tasted of sadness and salt. Their hearts were broken with pure, sharp pain, their trembling lips slowly parting as more tears flowed.

-I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. - He murmured with a voice full of pain, holding her tightly against him.

-It's not your fault, Aem. - She sniffled, her eyes bloodshot with tears, trying to contain her tears, but failing and feeling her emotions completely out of control.

-I love you. - Aemond declared, leaning his forehead against hers and closing his eyes as the tears fell, unable to bear looking at Y/n's eyes full of pain and tears staring back at him. - Forever.

-I love you too, Aem. - She replied amidst her sobs, almost brushing her trembling lips against his again, feeling that she had only not collapsed right there because his arms were holding her. - Forever.

-Viserys! - Alicent's shrill scream came from behind them and they were both forced to let go of each other, with Y/n being carried by Harold, bursting into tears towards the helicopter, while Criston held Aemond firmly by the shoulders to prevent him from running to her again.

Aemond's knees gradually weakened as Harold guided her towards the helicopter. When the aircraft finally took off, he barely felt it when he collapsed onto the lawn of the garden, while he watched Y/n disappear like just another dot in the immensity of stars in the sky.

The universe around him seemed to go silent at that moment, or maybe his ears had gone deaf. Aemond couldn't say which, the only thing he knew at that moment was that a part of him seemed to have died.

He didn't know if minutes or hours had passed when he felt someone's hands pulling him up, and when he looked back he found Aegon staring at him with eyes full of pity next to Criston who was staring at the ground.

-Come with me, brother. - Aegon pulled him firmly. - It's starting to rain.

Aemond didn’t want it. He never wanted to move again in his life, he wanted to stay there, motionless, until she returned to his arms. But he was so numb from the pain that he barely felt when Aegon and Criston practically dragged him into the mansion again.

Aemond felt shattered, his vision blurred, his lips trembling, he could barely see the path in front of him. His eyes only came back into focus when they passed through the upstairs hallway and he saw the door to Y/n's room open. Letting go of both of them at the same moment and entering furiously when he saw his mother removing all her things and placing them in boxes on the bed.

-What are you doing? - Aemond hissed in pure despair when he saw her tearing each of Y/n's drawings from the mural, crumpling them and throwing them away like trash.

-All this wicked story ends now! - Alicent screamed lividly, staring at him. - It's over! You'll never see her again! Not if I can prevent it.

-I don't care if days pass, weeks, months, fucking decades pass! - He yelled back with wild eyes. - I'll still love her!

-Don't ever say that word again! - Alicent hissed even more furiously than before, taking firm steps towards her son. - Never again, Aemond! Love is something sacred, something that comes from the seven! That's not love, it's a terrible sin!

-So I don't want to have anything sacred! - He shouted, walking around the room, feeling suffocated by Y/n's presence that emanated from every little thing in that place. - I just want to have her! That's the only thing I want!

-That's enough! - A slap stung Aemond's cheek at that same moment, making him look at his mother even more painfully. - This will all go in the trash! And you'll forget all about this story, Aemond!

-Father! - Aemond shouted, going towards Viserys, completely exasperated, his eyes bloodshot and his hands shaking, as soon as he saw him stop at the bedroom door. - You can't let her do that!

-Aemond… - He began, being interrupted by his son's uncontrolled voice.

-These are Y/n's things. Her things! – Aemond practically screamed. - My mother can't just throw all this away, I won't allow it!

-Cole, take my son to his room. - Viserys asked the security guard very seriously, making Aemond even angrier.

-Could you listen to me at least once in your life, father? - He shouted furiously, walking in the opposite direction, feeling his heart ache when he saw the lilac dress that Y/n liked so much thrown on the floor, completely crumpled.

-I'm begging you… - He looked away from the lilac fabric to his father, his eyes shining with sadness and tears. - Please.. don't do that to her things.

-Alicent… - Viserys looked very seriously at his wife, feeling his son's anguish in the midst of all that. - That's enough for today, leave Y/n's things where they are.

-Viserys… - Alicent looked at him in denial.

-At least for now. - He muttered. - It's happened enough for today, look at the state the boy is in!

Aemond's eyes ran around the room until they landed on something very specific thrown carelessly on the bed. The notebook. The notebook with the drawing of the house. Aemond couldn't lose it. And while his mother wasn't looking too distracted arguing with Viserys, he quickly opened it and tore out the page with the drawing of the future of the two together, tucking it into the waistband of his pants anyhow. With pain in his heart he had to leave the rest behind, but at least the most important of all was safe.

-No one is going to touch Y/n's things for now! - Viserys gave the final word seriously, then grumbled in Aemond's direction, nodding his head towards the door. - Now go to your room, Aemond.

Still feeling torn apart, Aemond took a deep breath with at least a small drop of temporary relief. Aegon and Criston were still at the door, watching everything, but Aemond didn't stop. He just walked past them and went towards his own room next door, slamming it hard behind him, feeling almost collapse when he found the scene of his worst nightmare once again before his eyes.

The sun was shining through the window, but Aemond didn't even feel able to feel its heat. Nothing seemed to be able to warm him from the cold that had contaminated his soul that night. He didn't know how long he had been sitting on the floor when he reached into his pants and pulled out the slightly crumpled paper and stared at it, feeling the pain ravage him once again when he saw the beautiful dream drawn there.

❦❦❦

The days passed and Aemond felt more and more overcome by pain. It was as if someone had come and, without warning, cut his body in half and dragged one of the parts away. He barely ate, and refused to leave the room for anything. Also refusing to let them take the sheets off the bed, the smell of her perfume was still ingrained in them and it seemed to be the only thing capable of making him sleep even for a few minutes, just to dream about Y/n and wake up feeling still worse.

-Aemond I asked them to make potato rosti for dinner. - Aegon murmured near the bed, looking at him with a frown. - Eat some, it's your favorite.

-I don't want it. - He murmured without even looking in his brother's direction. Just the thought of food made his stomach turn, memories of Y/n laughing while eating, always saying that she needed even more cheese no matter how much she already had, made him want to never eat that again in his life.

Two days later, Helaena appeared in his room, sitting on the edge of the bed and stroking Aemond's hair like she used to do when he was a little boy. For the first time, he looked away from the ceiling and looked someone in the eyes after that night.

-Hi, little brother. - She smiled melancholy, still gently stroking his greasy, messy hair.

-What are you doing here? - Aemond murmured very quietly, his eyes dull and lifeless. - You should be in Dorne.

-Aegon called me, told me what happened. - She sighed, slightly pressing her eyes as she spoke. - He's worried about you, Daeron is too. You need to eat, Aemond. Aegon said you haven't eaten anything for a week.

-I don't want to. - He murmured, moving away from Helaena and returning to the corner of the bed where he always stayed. - I just want them to bring Y/n back home. That's not fair to her.

His eyes were once again lost and unfocused, staring into space while he pressed his nails firmly against his palms, leaving red half-moon-shaped marks on his hands, almost tearing the thin skin.

-Helaena, please… ask them to send me away, anywhere. - Aemond begged without looking at his sister, a tear running down the side of his face to his neck. - I swear I'll go without complaining! I'll even go to Winterfell if our mother wants. But take Y/n away from that place, they can't leave her there alone.

Helaena's heart broke when she saw her sweet brother destroyed like that. And even worse in a way that she couldn't help him. There was no cure for what Aemond was feeling, she couldn't sit there and say that the pain would go away when she could see in his broken eyes that it wouldn't.

-What if she's not eating right? - He sighed melancholy with a trembling voice. - What if she gets anemia like she did when we were children?

The older sister frowned at the irony in that, he was so worried about Y/n's health when he himself was slowly wasting away on that bed.

❦❦❦

-I want to go home! - Y/n shouted to the septa through tears.

-This is your home now, child. The sooner you accept that, the better.

-Call my dad! - She pleaded. - Ask him to come get me!

-Nobody come get you Targaryen! - The woman scolded with a very serious look. - Now eat.

-I'm not hungry. - She muttered, climbing onto the bed without looking at the woman.

-You look at me while I'm talking to you girl! And now eat at once.

Y/n's eyes burned and in pure anger, with a mix of uncontrolled feelings, she threw the plate against the door with all the strength she could muster.

-I don't want to! - She shouted, turning around furiously and facing the woman, feeling a metallic taste in his mouth immediately after the firm slap he received on the cheek.

-If you don't want to eat, then that's fine with me! - The septa glared at her. - No food for a week!

-Screw you! - She shouted back as she heard the door slam behind the older woman.

The days passed and Y/n felt weaker and weaker. She didn't eat, she barely drank water, she just sat on the single bed in the room, staring at the wall with a specific focus on a blurry stain that had probably been made with a blue ink pen. Her stomach churned and the little she ate didn't seem to want to stay inside.

She cried herself to sleep every night, overcome by sadness, and in her dreams Aemond haunted her with his beautiful smile, his gentle touches and his sweet words. Only for her to feel even worse when she woke up the next day, still locked in that place, miles away from him.

The paleness on her face was so visible after a few days that the septa insisted that she eat again, but without success. Her lips, which were once red and lush, were now white and cracked, and this, combined with her dull and lifeless eyes, left her with a ghostly appearance lying motionless on the bed.

A few more days passed and the septa dragged Y/n screaming into the shower, forcing her to take a bath. Y/n only stopped screaming when halfway there she was overcome by such strong dizziness that she almost collapsed on the floor, holding on tightly to the walls to keep from falling.

-You're going straight to the infirmary! - The septa, whose name Y/n hadn't even made a point of memorizing, spoke very seriously, looking at her with wide eyes. - You're clearly anemic because of all this stubbornness.

-I am fine. - She mumbled sleepily, still holding on to the wall. - There's nothing wrong with me, you're not going to take me anywhere.

Feeling a little better after the bath, Y/n lay down on the bed, tightly hugging Aemond's shirt, the only thing she had left of him besides the necklace around his neck. His scent was still there, and she prayed every night that it would never go away, because she would die if she lost that only touch she had left of his love.

❦❦❦

The night was cold and rainy in Kings Landing, the angry water lashed against the windows with such force that it made them seem like small stones, the wind blew furiously against the trees making it seem like it would destroy everything in its path.

Maybe that was why Aemond had finally slept that night after Helaena practically shoved a cup of tea down his throat. The world around him seemed to be just as furious and destructive as he was.

The sleep did not last long, as a few hours later Aemond woke up with sweat running down his body, panting and barely able to breathe as he felt the bile rising in his throat, burning everything in its path. He spent a few moments just standing there on the bed trying to breathe again with his eyes glassy, fearing that if he closed them the horrible vision of his dream would become even more vivid.

He could still see before his eyes, as clearly as the lightning that shone through the windows in the darkness. Y/n alone in a dark room, so thin that her shoulder bones were visible, her sunken eyes full of dark circles, her body curled up as she trembled, screamed and cried tears of bright red blood. The moment she screamed his name, as if asking for help, he woke up.

Goosebumps ran across his skin, and an inexplicable pain took over his entire being to the point that Aemond felt that his bones were painful. He didn't even stop to think for another second, he just got up in bed, still trembling and barely able to stand, heading towards Helaena's room in despair.

He didn't knock on the door, he didn't announce himself, he just staggered inside with glazed eyes.

-Aemond, what's wrong? - Came the soft and worried voice of the older sister, who stood up at the same time and ran to support him.

-Helaena, please. - Aemond looked into his older sister's eyes in despair. - I'm begging you… for a way to talk to someone in that place to know if Y/n is okay. Please, sister.

Seeing the look on the younger's face, totally scared and almost lost in the midst of panic, Helaena couldn't deny it. The day had barely dawned when she called the conservatory in Old Town pretending to be Y/n's stepmother, Laena, and asking about her well-being.

The answer that came from the phone it was simple, but it didn't bring peace to Aemond, who seemed on the verge of a breakdown.

"Your stepdaughter has a very difficult temperament, but she is being treated in the best possible way and is in excellent health."

-There's something wrong, I can feel it, Helaena. - Aemond murmured, his eyes wide and his jaw clenched as he spoke, while watching through the window the torrential rain that continued to fall on the capital.

Helaena just serrated her lips, staring at the youngest, the woman's strange tone didn't convince her at all and she was always excellent at judging people's character. But she would never say that to Aemond, her poor brother shouldn't have this incentive to fall into madness anymore, not after a whole month in that cycle of endless pain that he found himself in.

❦❦❦

The next morning seemed cold, dull and for some reason completely lifeless. The rain had stopped and there wasn't even a breeze outside, the trees were completely stagnant, not even the leaves seemed to be falling. Aemond lay still on the bed, thinking of a thousand ways to do something to see Y/n and snorting slightly when he heard the creak of the door, trying to guess which of his brothers would be there now.

-Hi big bro. - Daeron spoke in a melancholic voice without getting any answers from the older man, who just blinked his eyes, still looking in the same direction.

-Mom and dad had to go out, and I took this from mom's things without her seeing. - Daeron raised his hand in front of Aemond, and his eyes instantly focused on the small key with colorful crystal charms. The key to Y/n's room.

-How did you get this? - He smiled for the first time in days, taking the key from Daeron's hands and sitting up at the same time. Aemond thought about jumping from the balcony of his own room to Y/n's balcony, as he had done hundreds of times before when he slept in Y/n's room and left the next morning, but it would be useless with the window locked.

-Mom wouldn't suspect me, so I picked it up for you. - He shrugged, happy to see the eldest getting up. - I need to put it back when she comes back, so be quick. Hel and Aegon won't be able to keep her out for long.

Aemond walked to the door next to his with trembling hands, barely able to put the keys in the lock. Daeron gave him privacy by standing in the hallway, according to him, keeping watch.

The older man closed the door carefully so as not to make any noise, slowly turning back and feeling his heart burn when he saw Y/n's things thrown out of place again. Every little detail she had put into her room over the years, messed up. He almost froze, not knowing exactly what to do at that moment.

After a few moments of breathing deeply in an attempt to calm himself, Aemond began to gather his favorite drawings that Y/n had already made. With his hands even more trembling, he bent down and took out the drawer of the dressing table, where he knew she kept the photos that the two of them had taken together.

Tears rolled down his face when he touched them and the first one was a photo of the two of them smiling and exchanging a kiss lying on the attic carpet. He couldn't take everything, but at least he would keep this safe with him. No one would destroy his memories with Y/n.

When he was about to leave the room he saw him there, alone lying on the floor at the foot of the bed among some clothes. Mr. Bunny, the worn-out plush toy that Y/n had grown fond of while the two of them were playing house. Feeling a tear roll down his cheek Aemond picked him up from the floor, realizing that her scent was still ingrained in him and almost losing his breath and suffocating in pain with the memories that came to him at that moment. He could almost hear Y/n's laughter as she rocked the little bunny in her arms, pretending he was her son, and a feeling of irreparable loss crossed his heart, almost leaving him breathless.

He didn't dare leave any of those things in his room at the mansion. While Daeron went to put the keys back in their place, Aemond went down to the garage and carefully put everything in the trunk of the car, where no one would suspect, where no one would mess with it, locking it right after.

-Thank you. - Aemond muttered looking at the floor when he found Daeron sitting on the counter in the living room.

-We're brothers. - He shrugged, looking at him with a sad side smile. - We look after each other, isn't that what you always say?

-Yes, we are. - A wave of renewed guilt took over Aemond at that exact moment. Aegon, Helaena, and Daeron were taking care of him, but he wasn't taking care of his brothers.

It wasn’t fair that Helaena was missing an entire month of classes to bring him tea in bed every night and make sure he had eaten. It wasn’t fair that Aegon had to skip spending time with Jaehaerys and go over there every day to drag him to the bathroom and make him bathe and shave. It wasn’t fair that Daeron was with deep dark circles under his eyes at such a young age from sitting in an armchair in his room all night monitoring him.

Life wasn't being fair to him, but he wasn't being fair to his brothers by making them go through all this just because he was in pain. His gaze crossed the huge mirror on the counter in which Daeron stood perched, and for the first time in weeks he noticed how bad he looked, how much more dead than alive he looked. And in contrast to that the look of concern the youngest directed at him made his lungs constrict without oxygen.

-When Helaena and Aegon arrive, tell them I want to talk, ok? - He sighed with a tired voice, looking away, no longer able to look at the youngest and then heading up the stairs.

❦❦❦

Aemond felt like hours had passed when finally the bedroom door opened and his brothers entered with visible concern in their eyes. It was then that he noticed how tired Helaena looked and how Aegon, always calm, looked tense as he stared at him as if he were a bomb ready to explode.

-Helaena, you need to go back to college. - He sat straighter in the chair as he spoke while trying to keep his voice steady after so many days of speaking only what was necessary, feeling his throat scratching with each word.

-I thought about this a lot today, you are all exhausted and it is my fault! - He murmured, staring at them intently. - I didn't want things to be like this, you don't deserve them to be like this.

-Aemond, none of us are going anywhere. You need us! - Helaena bowed her head to the side in worry.

-I'll be fine, sister. I swear to you that I already feel better. - He lied, looking down at the floor.

-You are not well and I can feel it! - The oldest shook her head, approaching the bed. - I see how you look every time our mother comes here to talk to you. Why do you think I'm here, Aemond? I won't leave you alone!

Helaena held his hands tightly between hers.

-You need me, you need us by your side. - She nodded to Daeron and Aegon who were further back, equally worried.

-If I leave here, will you go back to Dorne? - He asked reluctantly. - It's not fair, Helaena, it only makes me feel worse.

-And where are you going? - She questioned with a raised eyebrow.

-You can stay in the apartment you bought a few months ago. - Aegon suggested with a shrug. - It's below mine, you won't have any problems with the change and you can see Jaehaerys whenever you want.

The mere mention of the apartment almost made him break down, Y/n hadn't even gotten to see the apartment, and he was going to surprise her on the day of the prom. Maybe it was better this way, he would never be able to enter it if she had already been there.

-That's it… - He murmured, barely looking at Helaena so she wouldn't see the tears welling up in his eyes at that mere thought. - But please, sister, go back to Dorne. It will bring me more joy than anything else right now.

-Will you go back to college? - She looked at him melancholy, sweetly stroking his hair that was washed, but dry and unkempt.

-No, I… I can't do that right now. - He sighed. - But I will eat, bathe and sleep from time to time. - He rolled his eyes, not really planning to do any of those things, but Helaena didn't need to know that.

-I'll keep an eye on him. - Aegon murmured to Helaena as the two walked away from him along with Daeron, and Aemond rolled his eyes at them treating him like a three-year-old child. After much reluctance and discussion, Helaena finally agreed to return to Dorne five days later.

But a week after the oldest's departure, Aemond still hadn't moved. Every day Daeron and Aegon talked about it with him, and every day he avoided leaving his room as always. Feeling like he didn't have the energy to get up from that bed, barely able to breathe at the thought of leaving the house, leaving the memories, that even darkened by all the pain of the last few weeks, he had there with Y/n.

Thoughts gnawed at Aemond's mind as he hugged the faded blue scarf that Y/n had used to cover the floor dozens of times while they had a picnic. Sometimes he thought that if he stayed quiet enough he could hear her voice echoing through the room, and sometimes he thought he was going crazy because of it.

The sound of the door opening woke him from his thoughts and he quickly put the scarf under his pillow.

-Not today, Aegon… we can talk about this tomorrow. - He muttered without even looking at the door.

-It's not Aegon. - Alicent's voice sounded through the room, making him sit up straight on the bed when he saw her. His mother came every day, but only at night; it was still too early for her to be there.

-I'm worried, Aemond. - She sighed, slowly approaching the bed. - Are you thinking of dropping out of college for such a vile reason?

-I have no desire to continue. - He practically whispered, looking in another direction. - There's no point in continuing.

-Aemond, do you realize what you're saying? - Alicent raised her tone an octave as she spoke.

- Do you think this kind of reaction is healthy? This is all a mistake, she contaminated you with her and her father's dirt, but I have the solution. - She spoke quickly, barely giving Aemond a chance to reply.

-You're going to talk to the septon. I've already talked to him, explained the whole situation, he'll help you resolve all of this and put your mind in the right place. - She smiled, holding his hand, but Aemond pulled it away at the same time, his eyes wide.

-I'm not going to any septon! - He glared at her angrily. - My mind is in perfect condition, but yours isn't if you think this will change the way I feel about her!

-Aemond, I've already heard all this and I'm already tired of all this nonsense! - The eldest stood up impatiently with her hands on her hips.

-But I decided to be kind to you and give you some encouragement… - She looked at him in a strange way that made Aemond feel like a small beetle under a magnifying glass.

-If you go back to college and consider talking to the septon, I might consider letting her return to Kings Landing. - Alicent murmured very seriously and Aemond looked back at her, suddenly very interested.

-Are you serious about this? - He asked, standing up and walking towards his mother apprehensively, almost getting lost in the middle of the words.

-Very serious. - Alicent looked him in the eyes and lied. - If you do that, I might think about letting her come back, obviously you'll be away from each other, but she might come back.

Aemond's heart burned in his chest at that idea, he would never consider talking to a septon, as if what he and Y/n had was something wrong and dirty. And the mere idea of going back to college among all those people made him sick, but if that could maybe make his mother let her go back, even if he couldn't get close to her, that's what he would do.

❦❦❦

Shortly after that day, Aemond returned to college, barely looking at anyone who spoke to him. And fulfilling his mother's demands, he began to go to the septon every week to have a conversation, where the man would talk for hours about the problem of the sinful act he had been involved in and how much it was repudiated by the seven.

Aemond would leave the sept with his head throbbing with pain and feeling almost zombified every time, barely able to hear the thoughts in his own mind while waves of repulsion ran through his body, almost making him vomit.

After all that, he really left the mansion, taking all his belongings with him this time, since there was no longer any reason to return there periodically, and moved to the apartment below Aegon's, not wanting to be near the college campus and the gossip that was whispered there.

Aemond didn't paint the walls, he didn't put up any pictures, he didn't even choose the furniture. He just asked a decorator to leave the place clean and habitable. It didn't seem right to do it without Y/n, it wouldn't be fun to do it without her. The apartment was how Aemond felt without Y/n, cold and lifeless, without any color to cheer him up. The only thing there that he had chosen was the wooden chest in the corner of the living room, where he kept the memories he had managed to save of Y/n.

Some days in the self-imposed solitude of his apartment, he would find himself talking to Y/n in his mind, almost as if she could hear his voice. Often whispering words he used to whisper in her ears only to himself, the words sounding like an empty echo through the gray and icy walls of the apartment. And almost always as he said them, the Septon's voice echoed in the back of his mind, in a deadly whisper of sinner.

As time passed, the hope that the two would be together again died inside Aemond, giving way to anger and bitterness. And even though he was without hope, he could never give up the things stored in the chest in the living room, he could never stop sitting on the floor and admiring her beauty and sweetness through the photos while he was bathed in the moonlight and the splendor of the hills of Visenya.

Opening that chest was like digging his nails into an open wound, but Aemond could not stop doing it. Deep in his heart there was that spark of hope that one day they would be able to be together, that they would fulfill all their promises, that they would be happy forever together.

Maybe what they said was true, maybe the absence made his heart grow even fonder, because he didn't notice his love for Y/n diminishing as the years passed, it only grew and the desire to be with her grew every day, as did the guilt for such desires.

The voices of his mother and the Septon constantly echoed in his head, telling him how wrong those feelings were, how much the seven would disapprove of a union between cousins.

But even with such thoughts screaming in his mind, Aemond knew well that he would not be strong enough, he knew well that if he laid eyes on Y/n one more time he would not hesitate to jump over the same cliff again, even if he destroyed himself in the process.

tag list: @afro-hispwriter @fan-goddess @strangersunghoon @zenka69 @callsignwidow @amanda08319 @alesswift-blog @marialikescherries @palomavz

Final notes: It was extremely difficult to write this chapter because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to properly capture the characters' feelings in writing. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, I still can't believe I managed to translate all of this in one day, I'm happy!!! In the next one we'll return to the present time. 💖💖💖

*Shania song is the song they dancing in Corlys Birthday. 😭🥺

💖 Leave comments 💖

[pansyfemme]

mmm it is awful difficult to ‘try to not buy non essential things’ when it is both bandcamp friday and shortbox comics fair and father daughter records is having a cd sale..

[satorisoup]

people will think im ordinary until they say one (1) thing about tmnt and all of a sudden im explaining the entire lore starting from the 1990’s movie & why donatello is the best turtle i fear… T^T

tag limit fights me… i must yap… please listen… SOB </3

[risingsunresistance]

techno went with us to the con yesterday

[kyouka-supremacy]

Mmmhh...

[bandzboy]

it's honestly so infuriating how people act so defeatist when it comes to so many things in the world especially things that are systematic like... saying shit like "but it's been like this for years" yeah and does it make okay? OF COURSE NOT! you can identify the issue but you are gonna let it happen because why? there's no reason for you to let it happen especially if you know it's wrong you gotta stand tf up and do something about, talk about it and let other knows so action can be taken that's how things change!

[bunnihearted]

📖🖊❄️

[thursdayg1rl]

i WILL have waist length hair by next year . no matter what

[hannahhasafact]

Just took a gift to a friend and not only did he seem to really like it he ALSO followed the brand’s instagram I WIN

[adamsrcnan]

every single day. every. single. day. i'm haunted by that one iconic tumblr post about kevin's perfect match being some random person he meets at the grocery store who doesn't know a thing about exy. (I'm pretty sure that's the gist of the post it's so old and i can never find it)

like i'm never not thinking about it.

sooooo

imagine a kevin day in his late 20's ???? he doesn't ever go shopping. can't remember the last time he did but he's restless before a big game. he's craving a healthy protein filled snack. it's like 1am. he goes to the 24 hour grocery store. he's got his hood up. if anyone catches him here he'll be swarmed. his pr managers will have his head. he's reaching for his snack. someone speaks up behind him. says something like "the peanut butter ones are the best ones" kevin, with an eye roll and a scoff ready to fall from his lips, turns to the stranger. then he pauses. he's cute. curly hair. glasses. a sweater vest. he notices kevin's tattoo. says "nice tattoo" kevin freezes. oh no, here it comes. then the stranger drops a random historical fact about chess. he's baffled. he's pretty sure he said the exact same thing when he was sitting in the chair at the tattoo parlor half drunk all those years ago. but he takes too long to respond. so the stranger smiles awkwardly and says "see you around" and leaves. kevin can't stop thinking about him. may or may not make one too many midnight trips to the grocery store. he finally see's him again. this time he drops a historical fact on the guy about the veggies he's buying. he laughs. kevin short circuits at the sound. then the man is giving him his number. he doesn't text for days. afraid he's a crazy psycho fan. but then he see's him again. the man looks a little embarrassed when he apologises for being so forward. he's walking away when kevin says "you don't know who i am?" the man looks totally baffled. "should i?" he says back. now kevin is the one baffled. so kevin texts him. they talk about history. kevin doesn't talk about exy. turns out the stranger is a history teacher. kevin is enamoured. but the man still doesn't know who he is. kevin strangely wants to keep it that way. but the little bubble bursts eventually. the kids at the man's school are talking about exy. he's heard of it of course, but isn't a sports guy, so never paid attention. then kevin's name is dropped. and then history teacher is googling kevin. and it's him. it's grocery store kevin. his kevin. he goes a little ghost. he doesn't wanna date a professional famous world star athlete. takes him a couple days but kevin catches on. texts him saying "you figured it out..." they don't talk. they see each other at the grocery store again weeks later. they sit outside in the parking lot at night. history teacher asks him about exy. he doesn't know much or anything. kevin goes off on one. history teacher likes how passionate he is. takes a chance. they keep talking. history teacher listens to kevin talk about exy. kevin listens to him talk about history. they go on secret museum dates. kevin takes the man running even tho he hates it. the man falls in love. kevin falls in love. kevin wakes up one day, and he is finally happy in love.

[imaginaryf1shots]

Clingy | Lewis Hamilton

WC: 1.3K

Lewis x wife!reader

Summery:(REQUESTED) Just lewis being affectionate and clingy to his wife.

Warnings: none

Masterlist

Lewis Masterlist

Lewis has always been the attentive type, you loved to spoil you and take care of you. He's very loving and caring, he started picking up on your little wants and needs very early in the relationship without you even having to say anything. What was weird is how much more all his love became, everything just intensified for some unknown reason, it was amplified.

Lewis never asked you to travel with him to any of his races, he always just left you to pick and choose when you wanted, he never wanted to pressure you into coming if you didn't feel up to it. But as of late it all has changed, each week he'd ask you to fly with him.

"But Lewis, I don't have any more clothes, I'll go home and next week I'll fly out with you." You'd say and he'd just laugh.

"Sweetheart, I can buy all the clothes you want." Needing anything was not an excuse to Lewis, he earned more than enough for you to dress in new clothes every day if you wanted. And you earn your own money from working in his team as well, so money was not an issue. Offering you a job on his team was also one of the ways he'd kept you close.

"Fine, I'll go with you." You say giving up and Lewis leans over to press a loving kiss to your lips. "Only because you're cute though."

"Hey, I'll take it." You both laugh enjoying the moment.

Lewis isn't the biggest fan of PDA, sure he's kissed you when he won races before and don't get me started on the kisses you shared whenever he won world championships, the online girlies went crazy over these. Lately they have way more content to share around containing you two, or more like Lewis's hands.

He's always touching you one way or another, holding your hand, his arms around your shoulders, pulling you back to his front as you both talked to someone, arm around your waist, on your butt on your thighs, his hands were everywhere.

"My timeline is filled with you touching me." You tell Lewis while you were in the car on the way to the track, you turn the phone for him to see. His hand was on your thigh from the moment you got in the car.

"What can I say, I just have a beautiful and irresistible wife." Lewis says and you chuckle.

"Flattery does nothing, you're already married to me." You tease Lewis, he smiles at you.

"Best thing that has ever happened to me." You blush at the look he's giving you, you try to hide your face from him, it's been so many years since you started dating and he still has that effect on you. "Don't hide your face."

That makes you blush more, Lewis kisses your cheek lovingly, and you lean into him.

The rare times you're not together, you're always texting. Check-ins are a must in your relationship. Just small texts, where are you? How was your day? Did you eat? Do you need anything? Do you want anything? And a ton of I miss you(s) and I love you(s).

During race weeks, when he was in the garage or in a meeting, he'd always pop in or look for you to spend just a few minutes together before he's whisked somewhere else.

"Lewis, you look happy today." The interviewer commented at the smiley man in front of her, his smile was contagious.

“Yeah, it’s just my wife is standing right there." Lewis said and pointed at where you were smiling and talking to one of the Mercedes staff, unaware of his eyes that went to you every once and a while. But you felt it when the camera turned to face you along with everyone else. You slowly stopped talking and looked at everyone weirded out how they all turned to you at once.

"Uh hi." You say uncertain, waving your arm slightly at them.

"Lewis was just saying you're the reason he's so happy today." The interviewer said and your eyes went to your husband who was smiley just like he was all weekend.

“He's just been giddy all weekend." You try to make the focus go elsewhere, despite being in the spotlight for years because of Lewis you still weren't 100% comfortable with the attention especially when it was mainly on you.

"I'm just happy she's here this weekend." Lewis says and you smile at him refusing to say anything, since you're there most weekends.

There was a rare weekend when you were feeling a tad bit tired and wanted to just stay back home, feeling a bit sick and exhausted. After the race Lewis flew home straight away, the race was in Italy so the flight to Monaco was a very short one. When Lewis made it home the first thing he did was head to the living room where you sat watching your comfort show.

You heard the front door open and close, making you smile to yourself anticipating the warm greeting. And within seconds, Lewis was by your side, his arms wrapping around you in a gentle yet possessive embrace.

"Hey, love." He murmured, nuzzling his face into your neck. "Missed you so much."

"You saw me not even four days ago." You chuckle softly pausing your show.

"It's still too long." He sighed, tightening his hold on you. You couldn't help but laugh, it was all too funny, how protective and clingy he's become in the last couple of months. It was like he sensed it all before she did, something that she was sure of just today. The incline that you had proven today and it put everything in perspective.

"Lewis." You say pushing his braids out of his face, you turn so you're facing him, his arms loosening from around you. His eyes were filled with adoration and love, they were inviting and warm. "I need to tell you something."

“What is it, love?" Lewis asked, a hint of concern creeping into his voice. "Are you alright?" His grip on you tightened a bit. "Is everything alright? Are you sick?"

You shook your head no, your smile widening. "No, nothing like that. Actually, quite the opposite... Lewis, I'm pregnant.”

For a moment there was silence. Lewis took a few seconds to process your words, but once he processed it and it made sense in his mind, his eyes lit up with pure joy and disbelief.

"You're- you're pregnant... we're having a baby?" Lewis stammered, you nodded your eyes filling with tears.

"Yes, we're having a baby." A sound of pure joy just escaped his lips, you laugh as he pulls you up and in a fierce hug.

"Oh my god, this is amazing!" He exclaimed, twirling you around." I'm going to be a dad."

You laughed, the room is filled with the sound of pure happiness and love.

"Yes you are." You lean into him, and you verbalise your theory that you had since you found out. "That's probably why you've been so clingy and protective lately, your instincts knew before we did."

Lewis kissed you deeply, his happiness overflowing.

"I love you so much, and I love our little one already." He whispers against your lips.

"I love you too Lewis." You replied, resting your forehead against his. "I can't wait for us to be parents, and start the next chapter of our life together."

If you thought Lewis was protective and touchy before, you had it wrong. From the moment he found out about you being pregnant he doubled everything that he was before. His attentiveness took on a new meaning. Every touch, every gesture, was filled with even more love and care, now directed not just at you but at the life inside of you. You just relished in his attention and his affection, knowing that your life and your baby's life will just be filled with endless love and happiness.

Maintaglist

@gnatthefly . @mochimommy2002 . @llando4norris . @mrswolffs-blog . @barcelonaloverf1life . @c-losur3

[5sospenguinqueen]

Kiss My Ass - Kevin Magnussen x Mercedes! Reader

Summary: On track, Kevin is your fiercest adversary. Off track, he likes to have you at his mercy (and in his heart).

Warnings: 18+ after the cut. Female oral. P in V. Unprotected sex. Female reader

Requested: Yes and no. People wanted a part 2 and I wanted to give it to them! You can read this as a standalone but part 1 - Suck My Balls - adds to the fun!

F1 Masterlist

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

f1 just posted

liked by lifeofsteiner, pierregasly and others

f1 kevin magnussen receives a one-race ban. magnussen will miss the azerbaijan gp as he reaches 12 penalty points in a 12 month period

3,323 comments

yn_ln ha ha

→ user she’s so messy 

→ user can you blame her? he made contact with her again, which is why he got a penalty point  liked by yn_ln

haasf1team we warned him this would happen

user kevin looks so good in that photo though. his arms 🤤

→ yn_ln are we looking at the same photo? 

georgerussell63 @/mercedesamgf1 she’s being problematic online again

→ mercedesamgf1 she’s just had a pr meeting. we’re not allowed to give one again for another week 

→ yn_ln @/georgerussell63 snitch 

olliebearman sorry, kevin, but it will be nice to be back on track again

→ yn_ln and we will be delighted to have YOU

user love how yn is acting like this is the best news she’s had all year

→ yn_ln even better than my contract renewal 

mercedesamgf1 we apologise but we have taken yn’s social media off her until baku. thank you for your understanding  liked by kevinmagnussen

yn_ln just posted

liked by kevinmagnussen, maxverstappen1 and others 

yn_ln how was everybody’s sunday? oh, mine? thank you for asking. mine was splendid

10,204 comments 

user see what happens when kevin isn’t around  liked by yn_ln 

mercedesamgf1 we’re running out of pr presentations to show you (but we’ll let you off because you’re a RACE WINNER)

→ georgerussell63 i’ll make some

→ yn_ln i don’t like you very much sometimes 

→ georgerussell63 and comments like that will be in the presentation

→ yn_ln why can’t you just say congratulations like a normal person

alex_albon that’s my girl! stunt on these hoes

→ yn_ln my only supporter on the grid 

alexandrasaintmleux that’s my girl 🥳 so happy for you

→ charles_leclerc mon coeur, no. we’re sad. she overtook me

→ yn_ln stay sad (i’ll buy you a shot later)

user not kevin liking this. they’re so messy 

→ user they’re actually the best duo on the grid. every race i look forward to the memes they’ll create together 

landonorris i did it first 

→ yn_ln why does nobody just say congratulations anymore. i won a race! 

→ maxverstappen1 what? like it’s hard

→ landonorris seems like it has been recently 

→ yn_ln and they say i’m problematic 

user she’s such a good driver when kevin isn’t deliberately trying to crash into her 

→ yn_ln thank you. everyone else calls me crazy

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mercedesamgf1 just posted

liked by georgerussell63, danielricciardo and others

mercedesamgf1 mixed emotions in the garage after singapore. well done george on the points but a disappointing end for yn once more

3,620 comments

yn_ln why don’t you just rub salt in the wound further, admin. thank you. thank you very much 

→ georgerussell63 points points points

→ georgerussell63 why have i just had notification from hr that you made a formal complaint about me?

→ yn_ln you know why

user i swear he has it out for her at this point 

user i acc fear our girl over these next 6 races. kevin has no penalty points and no seat next year 

user how to tell kevin is back on track

user it’s giving school boy crush. pull her hair to get her to notice you

→ user they just race each other hard. they’re both stubborn and yn gives as good as she gets. they both turned into each other 

haasf1team oops? 

→ yn_ln you and your driver are on my list 

→ landonorris don’t worry. it doesn’t take up much time. i’ve been on it since 2019 

yn_ln @/georgerussell63 stop liking posts about my dnf’s this season. i keep getting notifs 

18+ !!!!

Goosebumps rippled across your bare back as his breath tickled your shoulders. He sucked a spot under your shoulder blade, watching as the skin reddened. The material of his shirt caressed your skin as he trailed kisses down your spine.

“You’ve got too many clothes on,” you chastised, rolling your shoulders back when his beard tickled your lower back. He pressed a kiss to the two divots there, pressing his thumbs in them after and marvelling at how well they fit. Like you were made for him.

“Patience, lille kriger.” Kevin whispered against your skin. His hands reached for your hips, pulling your bottom half higher. “What was it you said after your Baku win? Kevin Magnussen can…”

“...kiss my ass,” you panted, body tense in anticipation. The sheets rustled as he shuffled down the bed. His lips pressed against your left buttock before a sharp sensation zapped up your spine. You wriggled away from him, rewarding his antics with the sight of your cheeks jiggling.

“Did you just bite me?”

His hands wrapped around your ankles, yanking you back down towards him. The suddenness of the movement had your arms collapsing beneath you; your body and face landing on the mattress with a bounce.

“I didn’t say you could leave.” He took a moment to admire the reddening bite mark on your cheek. “You do have a spectacular arse.”

You turned your head to look at him but he had already ducked between your thighs. Your breath hitched when he pressed a kiss to your inner thigh. His cool breath hit your wetness when he laughed at you. His beard tickled your thighs when you attempted to close them around his head. His hands forced them apart.

“Behave yourself,” he warned.

“Or what?” You said, aiming for bravado. Unfortunately, the breathy tone in which it was said ruined that.

“Or I won’t do this.”

His tongue pressed against your slit, lapping at the wetness pooled between your thighs. He flattened his tongue, dragging it up towards your sensitive bud. A strangled gasp tore from your mouth at the unexpected contact. Kevin traced circles on your clit, suckling gently and taking pride in the way you bucked against him. Your hands twisted into the sheets, fighting to stop the moans from spilling out of you. Refusing to concede to him, to let him know how much he was affecting you.

“Come on, min skat. Let me hear you,” he grumbled against you, tongue dipping between your folds as he feasted. Your thighs burned from where his beard rubbed against them.

Kevin sank a finger inside your heat. You writhed against the sheets, breath coming out in pants but refused to make a noise. Spurred by your silence, the Haas driver added another finger, curling them in the way he knew you liked. Your back arched off the bed, a curse leaving your lips. Kevin didn’t boast about his victory, just continued to ravage you like a man starved. If there was one thing that could erase the sting of a DNF, it was the way you cried his name as you approached the edge. Teetering on the precipice, your eyes snapped open when cold air hit you. His eyes twinkled as he sucked his fingers clean, aware of what he had denied you.

“You robbed me of a podium. Again. And now you’re denying me an orgasm.”

A cheeky grin took over his face as he clambered off the bed, taking in the sight before him. You lay completely bare, ready for him to take as he pleased. Turning on your back, you propped yourself up on your elbows. A small pout formed on your bruised and swollen lips.

“Take it off,” you demanded.

“As you wish.”

In one quick movement, Kevin whipped his t-shirt off, dropping it on the pile of your clothes at his feet. Your eyes roamed the broad expanse of his chest, lingering on his tattoo and trailing down to the strained fabric of his jeans.

“And those.”

“You’re bossy when you’re waiting to be satisfied.”

“You’ve not proven you can satisfy me yet.”

His eyes narrowed at you, even as his hands moved towards his belt. You arched your brow, feigning a picture of boredom. The rapid rise and fall of your naked chest gave away just how eager you were to watch him fully disrobe. Once he was bare, you shuffled to the end of the bed and pushed up onto your knees. Your arms wound around his neck, pressing your lips to his. You nibbled on his bottom lip, revelling in the moan he let out when your tongue brushed against his.

You managed to spin the two of you, pushing him down so that he was seated on the edge of the bed. Climbing into his lap, you connected your lips again, trailing down to the underside of his jaw. Sinking down on him, both of you moaned at the feeling of your slick walls enveloping him. His hands came up to grasp your hips but he didn’t move you, allowing you to adjust to his size. Your eyes fluttered shut before your hips began to rock back and forth.

“For a man so inadequate on track,” you started, voice husky. “you don’t do a bad job between the sheets.”

Before he could reply, you raised your hips before dropping back down on him abruptly. The air was knocked out of him and a strangled grunt spilled past his lips when you repeated the harsh action.

“Fuck.” His grip on you tightened, fingers digging in. “You turned into me. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you wanted my attention.”

He sucked in a harsh breath when your nails dug into him. Your pace never faltered. Your breasts bounced as you rode him. Kevin leaned forward, taking one in his mouth. His tongue flicked across your nipple.

“You talk a lot of shit for a man who’s never won a race.”

A yelp tore from you when his teeth clamped down around your nipple, and the rhythm of your hips stuttered.

“Almost there. Come on. Just a little longer for me, love.” Kevin begged.

Your hips stilled immediately, denying yourself the pleasure you’d been chasing. It was worth it for the look on Kevin’s face.

“What did you say earlier about me not being that good?”

Humour replaced the confusion on his face as he realised that you were punishing him for his harsh words during the post-race interviews. Triumph was written across your face and he couldn't wait to wipe it off. He pulled you to his chest, arms tight around your back and flipped the pair of you. You bounced slightly, head landing on the plush pillow. Gripping both your wrists in his hand, he pinned your arms above your head. You looked up at him with wide eyes, struggling against his hold.

“Feel this?” Kevin whispered, pressing himself against your thigh. “You know just how good you are.”

With his free hand, he guided himself in you, inch by inch. He didn’t allow you to adjust to the new position before thrusting into you, slow and deep. An intimate pace to contrast your previously frantic one. He lifted your leg, bringing it to rest above his hip, allowing him to hit that spot deep inside you. You cried out, hands sliding into Kevin’s hair and pulling him close. He allowed himself to fall against you, pressing you into the mattress.

“This okay?”

”Yeah.”

His head fell to the crook of your neck, beard tickling your skin. Whispers filled the space between you.

”Good girl. You’re taking me so well.”

He continued his slow pace, each thrust hitting deep inside you. Your stomach bulged from the thickness of him bruising your walls.

“Look how beautiful you are wrapped around me.”

Soft moans and sighs filled his ear, the melody of your pleasure. A loud groan tore from Kevin’s throat when he felt you clench around him.

“You gonna cum for me, sweetheart?”

He picked up his pace slightly, hand reaching up to palm your breast. His thumb brushed over your nipple as you barrelled towards your end. Your back arched off the bed, breasts brushing his bare chest as you came with a cry of his name. The feeling of your warmth hugging him tight pushed Kevin over the edge. With one harsh thrust, his teeth sank into your shoulder as he spilled himself inside you.

~

Head resting on his chest, you listened as his heart rate doubled in pace. His arms tightened around you, pulling you closer into his side as if he feared you would run from him. Even if your legs weren’t shaking, you’re not sure you’d want to.

“I told you we’d do this again.” Kevin murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“I don’t know why you sound so proud of that.”

“Maybe I like doing this with you.”

“Yes, well I like winning races but we can’t all get what we want.” There was no bite to your comment, only friendly teasing.

Kevin’s fingers traced patterns along your thigh, relaxing your body. Your eyes drifted closed, a soft hum coming from you. He sensed your sleepiness, wondering if approaching the topic in your content state would be easier.

“Would you still do this with me if you weren’t angry at me?”

“Huh?”

“This started as hate sex, right? But, what if there wasn’t any hate in it. I don’t mean to run you off the track. You just seem to be there when things go wrong.”

“So it’s my fault?”

“No, no, no. That’s not what I meant. I mean, you are distracting but… I want to spend time with you. Outside of this room. Outside of the track.”

Silence filled the room. His heart pounded so hard in his chest that you had to move away; the sound echoing in your head. At your movement, his arms went slack around you, preparing himself for the rejection.

“I’m still mad at you…” you started, feeling bad when his face fell, “…but, I’ll let you take me out for breakfast and we’ll see how it goes.”

The only response you had was a blinding smile, your back being pressed into the mattress once more.

━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━

kevinmagnussen just posted

liked by hulkhulkenberg, charles_leclerc and others

kevinmagnussen jeg elsker dig (yes, we get along when we’re away from the paddock)

7,884 comments

yn_ln i love you too (but we only get along when you’re kissing my ass, not talking shit) 

yn_ln yes, ladies, the rumours are true. so just remember those arms belong to me now when you’re thirsting about them online. i see you

→ user oh god. she’s turned the energy she reserves for hating on k mag onto us

→ yn_ln no, he still gets it as well

alexandrasaintmleux okay but these are quite cute 

georgerussell63 crikey. i’m not sure the two of you pairing up is a good idea

→ yn_ln jiminy crickets! i’m not sure you commenting on my life all the time is a good idea

→ georgerussell63 you still mad about the powerpoint? 

→ kevinmagnussen she’s complained about it twice in the past hour 

landonorris did you let kevin stand in front so that he would look taller? 

→ kevinmagnussen new target acquired

→ landonorris shit

→ haasf1team kevin, no

mercedesamgf1 i think the pr team might’ve liked a heads up

→ kevinmagnussen i was told she wasn’t talking to them 

hulkhulkenberg finally. i was getting fed up of hearing you talk about her 

→ kevinmagnussen shut up, mate 

→ alex_albon she talked about him too

→ yn_ln alex! 

→ alex_albon i’m sorry but i’ve been waiting for you to admit this for months. i’m just happy that you’re happy 

user i knew that the pic in her spanish gp dump was kevin!

(Bonus)

haasf1team just posted

liked by yn_ln, hulkhulkenberg and others

haasf1team cooling off 🧊

5,879 comments

yn_ln be right back. making this my lock screen

yn_ln take this down. i can’t have other people catching onto what i’ve known all along! 

user is he looking at hulk or yn in that first pic? 

→ haasf1team yn. they shared

→ hulkhulkenberg i was kicked out

→ yn_ln i told merc to let you use mine!

→ user can’t be an ice bath when they’re both in there 🥵

user i don’t blame yn actually. i’d let him ram me off the track if he looked like that 

→ yn_ln didn’t really have a choice in the matter, love

user kevin magnussen. i was not familiar with you in that way 

→ yn_ln now make yourself unfamiliar 

user yn wasn’t joking when she threatened us on kevin’s relationship post

→ user girly is fighting these comments so fast

→ yn_ln back, i tell you 🤺 back

kevinmagnussen @/mercedesamgf1 she escaped again

→ mercedesamgf1 thank you. we’ll be revoking her social media rights again

→ yn_ln but you’re still a traitor

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Requests open

Tag list

Only includes those who requested a Part 2 as I don't know who is comfortable with consuming this content

@steamy-smokey @1800-love-me @suckerforoldermen @dying-inside-but-its-classy

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Day 4: market day

Masterlist flufftober 🎃

Reblog if you liked it!

You've heard a lot of people say that the honeymoon period only lasts the first few weeks of marriage and that after that things can start to get complicated. But the rule didn’t seem to apply to you.

Maybe it was because you two were young and enthusiastic, because you were too busy missing him to think about arguing, or maybe it was just that you really were made for each other.

You often tried to steal as much time as possible from your husband’s demanding job because being an FBI agent often took him away from you, and sometimes having a few domestic moments was all you both desired.

Grocery shopping was one of those activities that really made you feel like a married couple, and it saved you many trips to the store for food.

“Which do you prefer? Soy or almond milk?”

“Soy has phytoestrogens and more health benefits in moderate amounts. Almond is for people looking to maintain weight, and although it’s healthy, it’s low in protein.”

“Soy, got it,” you said with a small smile at his intellectual response.

Every time it was grocery shopping day, your job was always to push the cart and grab an item or two within reach, but most of the time, Spencer was the one in charge of selecting your groceries. After all, he had a pretty extensive knowledge of the benefits of each food. He always wanted to take care of you, and since he was often away, one way he could do that was by ensuring you were well-nourished.

“Look, I found some tea,” he announced happily, making you look away from the yogurt section in the fridge to pay attention. “Lavender, passionflower, valerian…”

“For your insomnia?”

“Mhm,” he hummed, dropping the boxes into the cart “And some mint and lemon for you.”

“You know me so well,” you smiled sweetly, leaning on the plastic handle, letting him gently caress your cheek.

You two had known each other for so many years that there were details about each other you knew by instinct. You knew his favorite brand of coffee, how he liked it with a specific number of sugar spoons, that you needed to buy him two sets of socks because he always liked mismatched ones, and you knew the exact spot on his head to stroke to help him fall back asleep after a nightmare. He knew you hated wearing shoes indoors, that you had a specific way of sleeping, and that you hated the smell of cinnamon. There were so many things you did as if they were second nature that it seemed impossible to list them all.

The truth is, people at Spencer’s work were quite surprised to find out that not only did he have a girlfriend, but that you were getting married. The event was private, very intimate, and not at all pretentious because that wasn’t your style.

You both had no problem moving into a new, slightly more spacious apartment, now that everything was doubled. But you were managing it quite well, to be honest.

You continued strolling through the grocery store, staying close to your husband, and then remembered you needed some bread. You pushed the cart over and stood next to a woman who seemed to be in a dilemma, staring at two loaves of bread as if trying to analyze which was better.

“The best one is that one,” you said, hoping not to make her uncomfortable. She looked at you confused, so you decided to speak again. “It has less sugar and the necessary carbs for good nutrition. There’s a study about it; it’s true.”

“Oh, sweetie, I wasn’t looking for the healthiest, just the one with the best quantity and price. It’s for my kids. Those children could eat an entire loaf in a day, and I can’t afford that.”

You laughed honestly and gave her a look of understanding. She was a bit older than you but not old enough to be considered elderly.

“I think you’re right.”

“I love my kids, but I won’t lie… sometimes they drive me crazy,” she confessed, and you both laughed again.

“Darling, do you want me to make pasta for you this week? Rossi taught me a recipe that…”

He trailed off when he noticed you had company, and for some reason, he suddenly felt shy.

“That’s fine, love. We can eat whatever you want,” you replied kindly. “I already have something to go with it.”

You winked at him when he noticed the wine you had tossed into the cart, and then he smiled and went off in search of the necessary ingredients.

“Your boyfriend?”

“Husband,” you corrected her. There was a strange pride in saying that.

“Husband! Oh, that’s so sweet. How long have you been married?”

“We’ll be married for four months next week.”

“Young love, so beautiful,” she sighed, as if nostalgic for a time that now seemed too far away. “And he helps you with the shopping?”

“I help him, actually,” you laughed. “He’s the one who selects everything. Before we got married, I had the worst eating habits, and he hated that. So we try to eat better now.”

“Marriages are so different now,” she said, and upon hearing that, you expected to endure a conservative speech and internally dreaded it. “My husband never joins me for things like this; he’s not even interested. In this and in much more, to be honest. And it’s nice to see that girls nowadays can have these kinds of relationships. You know, where they’re supported.”

Somehow, that touched your heart, and suddenly you wished you could hug the woman, but you held back. Then, you looked over at Spencer. He was in the vegetable section, apparently comparing two bags of spinach. You could recognize him in a crowd without a doubt, with his slouched posture, his messy hair (freshly cut, by the way), and his peculiar formal attire.

You had always appreciated having the man in your life, even when you didn’t have a romantic relationship, but you had never stopped to think how lucky you were that he had decided to love you.

“I’m glad too,” you said in what was barely a whisper.

You didn’t say anything else. The woman said her goodbyes kindly, and you just smiled at her, too busy gazing at the man with loving eyes. You stood there watching him, and when he approached, he couldn’t help but notice your strange expression.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing. I just had a very revealing conversation with that woman.”

“Huh, yeah?” he hummed, dropping a collection of items into the shopping cart “And what was it about?”

“About you,” you answered casually, lifting your hands to place them on his chest and then sliding them to his cheeks “Talking to her reminded me that you’re the best husband in the world.”

Carefully and affectionately, you stood on your tiptoes and planted a loud kiss on him. Spencer laughed as his cheeks blushed, returning the favor with a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“I don’t know if I am, but I try.”

“And that’s why I love you,” you confessed sweetly.

And then, it was Spencer who felt lucky.

[beardedjoel]

pretty little wife | crazy 4 u

joel miller x f!reader one shot collection

series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3 | ✨kofi ✨

summary: valentine's day special! joel has historically made sure that valentine's day is special for his pretty little wife, but this year he's gone above and beyond. warnings: 18+ MDNI! no apocalypse au, pre-established relationship/dynamic, sub/dom relationship, soft dom! joel, free use kink, orgasm denial if you squint hard, unprotected piv, rough sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), nipple play, choking/breath play, pet names for reader, praise kink, romantic as fuck husband joel this chapter, some domestic fluff, alcohol consumption, maybe maybe maybe there is a breeding kink moment, reader has hair that can be pulled a/n: they're so in love it makes me SICK!!! thank you so much for reading and loving this couple along with me, and happy galentine's and valentine's day my loves! 💋💗💌

reminder i have no taglist anymore, follow @beardedjoel-updates to hear about my new fics!

You quietly squeal to yourself as you start to tear open the newly delivered package on your way back inside from the mailbox. You look down at the assortment of pale pastel candies, all strung up on thin strands, waiting to be devoured. Your own curiosity and lack of self control nearly has you reaching in the box to break one off for yourself, but you hold back, reminding yourself just who you bought this for and why. 

Valentine’s Day is in two days, but you’d wanted to get a jump, giving Joel a more playful vibe today considering you know he’ll have gotten you something sexy and downright depraved to wear on the actual holiday. Your skin tingles at the thought, recalling all of the things he’d had you wear in the past. Your most memorable being crotchless panties under a skin tight dress at dinner one Valentine’s Day, so he could finger fuck you under the table at one of Austin’s finest restaurants. Keeping your face straight during that had been painstaking, but you’d loved every minute of the debauched public display. When you’d asked Joel why he hadn’t just had you go sans underwear that night, he’d smiled devilishly. ‘Adds to the forbidden factor, don’t y’think?,’ Joel had replied, ‘So premeditated I had to get my baby somethin’ to weep onto while I knew I’d be shoving my fingers so deep in her pretty pussy.’ Those naughty words from Joel still send a shudder up your spine to this day as they ring in your mind. He hadn’t even waited until you two were home that evening to use that same hole in the panties to fuck you dizzy, until you’d screamed in the back seat of his car for him. Even then, he hadn’t relented until you came too many times to even remember the count now, leaving his seats a soaking mess.

You sigh, bringing yourself back to the present, brushing the memories away for now to get yourself ready to make some new ones with your husband. Once you’ve changed, you take a quick moment to admire the scant pieces of lingerie, almost laughing at the absurdity, but wondering how in all these years you’d never thought to buy candy underwear for Joel to devour off of you. You preen yourself for a few more quick moments before heading downstairs, wanting to set yourself up to act casual for Joel when he arrives home. Sometimes you do this on purpose, knowing he gets off on interrupting what you’re doing just so he can take you, fuck you however he pleases. And even when you really are in the middle of something, you get off on it too - being of service to your husband, helping him feel good while knowing you’ll be well taken care of, too.

On the dot at 5:00, you hear Joel’s car pulling up and smile smugly to yourself, continuing to wipe the counters down. A prompt pop of your hips to push your ass out follows when you hear the front door open and close.

“Doll? Where are ya?” Joel calls out, voice slightly muffled as he bends down to put his shoes away.

“In here!” you call out, voice high and sugary sweet, imitating the lingerie plastered to your body right now.

“How’s my pr-” Joel starts, freezing the moment he enters the kitchen. He takes in the sight - you slightly bent over, only a tiny string between your bare ass cheeks, pink high heels, and straps of candy running over your shoulders and across your back. You whip your head over your shoulder, rotating your body just enough to give Joel a peek at the lines of candy also covering your tits. He laughs, head thrown back in playful amusement before stepping towards you, predatory and slow, his laugh fading into a contemplative smirk.

“What do we got here?” Joel says quietly, hands immediately pressed tightly to your hips, his body pushing you forward into the counter. You whimper when the edge of the counter starts to dig into your stomach, Joel’s massive form locking you into your spot. “A little snack f’me to enjoy after workin’ so hard all day?” Joel can barely contain himself, blood running hot as he contemplates how grateful he feels right now. 

“Mmhmm…” you whine out, already feeling any semblance of tension leaving your body at Joel’s gentle but calloused touch, this feeling of home. You giggle when Joel leans down to where the straps come around over your shoulders and takes a bite out of the candies, a little groan leaving him as his lips also catch on your skin, mixing the taste of you with the sweetness of the candy.

“Delicious, baby,” he hums in your ear, then goes on to kiss your earlobe. You melt, head falling back slightly with a docile smile plastered on your lips. “How’d a man get so lucky?” He takes another bite, kissing along your shoulder as he does so.

“Thought we’d get a jump on Valentine’s Day, darling,” you coo back, turning your head to kiss his cheek.

Joel freezes, his eyes going wide and body rigid. “Fu-” he murmurs to himself, lips still practically attached to your shoulder. 

“What?”

He tears himself off of you with the most disgruntled groan you may have heard from him yet. “Baby, we gotta get movin’. You… fuckin’ little candy underwear, god damn it…” he starts muttering, grabbing you tightly and spinning you around. He grasps your hand in his and starts leading you upstairs. “You gotta change, honey, we’re…” he trails off, looking guilty and a bit flustered.

“Joel, what the hell is going on?” you ask, stopping and pulling back on his hand.

Joel sighs, calming himself for a moment before finally meeting your eyeline again. His gaze softens and he smiles. “Had a whole thing planned, darlin’. A surprise. C’mon and see for yourself.”

You trail after him, suddenly feeling ridiculous in your candy underwear given the change in mood. He takes you into the bedroom, opening his closet and yanking out your suitcase. Your brows furrow as you watch him pull it to the center of the bedroom, then going back for another suitcase of his own. Your mouth drops open slightly before curling into a smile, realizing that Joel had planned a trip for the two of you. He’d mentioned to keep your schedule free around Valentine’s Day, but you’d figured it was just typical plans - dinner, a picnic, or a fancy hotel room, nothing this big.

“Joel… baby…” you breathe out, clutching a hand to your chest. You feel suddenly filled with warmth, like sunshine has started filling you from the belly outwards, making your entire being feel light and tingly. Effervescence. That’s what being with Joel is like.

He gives you a lopsided smile. “We’re leavin’ tonight. Planned it all, flight is at eight so we can wake up there ‘n get a jump on everythin’. An’ then you had to wear that,” he huffs, gesturing to your entire body with a wild movement of his hand. “An’ scramble my brain right up.” His eyes linger along your entire midsection, sincerely considering throwing these plans away just to sate his hard cock, but he shakes his head and looks you in the eyes again.

“A jump on…. what’s everything?” you ask, placing an impatient hand on your hip.

Joel reaches into the built-in shelves in his closet, pulling out a soft, cashmere lounge set and walking it over to you. “Jus’ get dressed an’ I’ll explain as we go. God damn it, this was s’posed to be so much more romantic.” He sighs, a hand repeatedly running through his hair during your entire conversation, looking flustered.

“Aw, honey, it is, promise,” you assure him with a kind laugh, starting to peel off the candy underwear, bringing it over to your dresser to deposit it for another time. 

“Mm-mm,” Joel chants with a smirk, squatting down to unzip your suitcase and holding out his palm to you. “Those are comin’ with us.”

You’re over 31,000 feet in the air now, the sky dark outside the plane windows as you peer out. Joel had planned an entire long weekend to head to Aspen, where he’d booked you both skiing lessons and a cozy, romantic room at a lodge there. Your heart swelled as he explained it all on the ride to the airport, remembering how it was on your bucket list to learn to ski, but being from Texas there hadn’t been too many chances to learn locally.

You stretch your legs out, admiring the leg room in the first class tickets Joel had gotten you two, bringing the complimentary glass of champagne to your lips.

“Baby, this is too much,” you say with a slight frown, despite feeling overjoyed at everything about your current situation.

“Never. I’ve been plannin’ and savin’ for this for a while. Wanted to surprise you big time,” Joel says with a toothy, proud grin.

“Well, you did. Makes my candy underwear feel kind of… well, wimpy in comparison.”

Joel’s pointer finger flies to your lips, pressing down before your glass can reach your mouth again. “Not a chance, little doll. That’s all I need from you - skimpy little outfit to keep your husband happy.”

Your lips curl into a sly smirk and you part your lips, nipping the end of Joel’s fingers. He shoots a brow up, challenging you, but you back down. You and Joel don’t always have the most public decency, but you decide it’s not worth getting kicked off the plane just for an orgasm you could wait a few more hours for. You nearly roll your eyes at the thought though, your cunt aching from the unresolved moment you two had shared in the kitchen earlier. You can tell by his wide pupils and rosy cheeks that Joel must be feeling a lot of the same way and having the same conflictions.

“If we wait a few hours… it’ll be even better…” you lean over and whisper to him, voice betraying you as it escapes in a breathy, sultry tone.

“Plane never stopped us before…” Joel says, brows raised again. 

You tut, but then smile at the memory of your one sexual adventure on a plane with Joel, when you two were on your way to your honeymoon. A discreet handjob and fingering in first class under blankets hadn’t been the most romantic start to your married life together, but it suited the both of you. “Aaand…” you trail off, placing your palm on his chest. “We almost got caught like five times, big guy. Promised ourselves we wouldn’t do that again.” 

Joel grumbles quickly, and you know he understands, but you feel an anxious twinge in your stomach, like you’re breaking the rules. Your face falls a little and you turn towards him, more serious this time. “I know we have… an arrangement, and you know I love our arrangement.” Joel gets what he wants, whenever he wants - the words agreed upon by the both of you within your marriage, and you were all for it. “But just this time I think we shouldn’t break the law for it.” You raise your brows, stomach turning again as you wait for his reaction - Joel is always understanding and patient with you but as usual, you find yourself desperate to please him.

Joel bites the inside of his cheek, then he leans over to plant a peck on your cheek while he reaches down to squeeze your hand in reassurance. “No, baby, you’re right. Probably should be an exception ‘bout planes in there, huh?” He tilts his head playfully and you feel your tension dissipate immediately. “Always the rational one, ain’t you, honey.”

“Barely,” you tease, chuckling in relief. “I just don’t want to ruin the trip before it’s even started. Let’s just watch a movie or something?”

Several hours of keeping yourselves occupied and dozing off had you finally arriving in Aspen, where Joel gently nudged you awake as the plane landed. You rubbed your bleary eyes and made your way through the plane and airport half-awake, just letting Joel guide you with one of your hands gently grasping at his sleeve the entire time. You two get outside the airport with your suitcases, now bundled up in an adorable puffer jacket Joel had packed for you, along with a new pair of fuzzy earmuffs. You were starting to have a sneaking suspicion that there was a lot of new clothing in your suitcase.

Standing next to an impeccably shiny black car is a well dressed driver holding a tiny sign that makes you do a double take. 

Mr. & Mrs. Joel Miller.

You tug on Joel’s sleeve with eager excitement as he starts towards the man and your mouth hangs open. 

“Joel, you did not hire a fancy driver,” you scoff quietly in disbelief. Joel stops in his tracks, screeching the two of you to a halt before turning to face you. 

“If you’re already questioning me at the airplane seats ‘n the driver, it’s gonna be a long few days, honey,” he says sweetly, his voice crackling and gruff with tiredness from the long day. Your open mouth turns to a smile while you tut and shake your head. 

“You’re too much, Joel Miller…” you muse, following him to the car. The driver, Randy, takes your bags and stuffs them in the car, offering you an open car door to climb inside. Your stomach flips with butterflies, not having realized just how romantic of a weekend Joel had planned for you. You fight off a quick mist of tears as it pops up, trying not to get emotional at just how overwhelmingly thoughtful your husband could be sometimes. 

When Joel sits next to you, you clasp onto his hand tightly, giving him a watery smile that he returns with a sympathetic one of his own, reading that you’re feeling overwhelmed. Sure, since Joel had become more and more successful in his business you’d been treated beyond your wildest dreams, but sometimes it all hit you hard in one big moment like right now, filling you with gut clenching gratitude for your life. Life with Joel oftentimes feels like a dream, something you’ve stumbled into somehow that you aren’t sure you deserve. Joel would never let those thoughts slide, always reminding you how lucky he feels to have met you in that bar, that fate intervened so spectacularly in his life.

You lean your head on his shoulder for the duration of the ride to your accommodation, feeling sick with nostalgia and gratitude as you get lost in your thoughts. When the lodge comes into view, you pick your head up, mind suddenly empty as your jaw drops while you take it in.

It’s dark out, the sky black against the warm, glowing lights peeking through window panes throughout the lodge. A mountainous backdrop is still visible despite the dark night, and you can’t help but ogle at everything, imagining how stunning it will look in the daylight. The lodge is huge, ornate despite the fact that it’s meant to look simplistic and cozy with its wood siding. Joel marvels quickly at the construction out of habit, being in the business he’s in gives him a certain preclusion to commenting his two cents on every place you stay. You’re stunned silent as the back door is opened by Randy and you step out underneath a large overhang, greeted by yet another person who offers to take your bags. It’s all fuzzy, your brain tired and overwhelmed by what you’re taking in right now, the fact that just hours ago you’d been at home, content to just stay in with your husband tonight. You blink back to reality, about to speak when Joel gets to it first. 

“Please. Thank you kindly,” Joel drawls, quickly slipping them a bill from his wallet and then turning back to you, offering you his arm. You take it, practically ready to squeal loudly with excitement as you two enter the building. You admire the expansive lobby while Joel steps away to check in - high ceilings and wood beams, roaring fireplaces surrounded by cozy seating and tall, full but neatly arranged bookshelves. A winter dream if there ever was one. 

You’re gazing around,  tired, slow blinking eyes, too lost in it all to notice Joel come up next to you, his hand finding the small of your back. He leans close, lips and rough beard brushing your ear with a soft kiss.

“Room’s ready,” he practically growls, and your gut clenches at his tone, your thighs pressing together. Suddenly, your body feels alight, nerves buzzing and goosebumps peppering your flesh. Sleep is a far away notion now, recalling the way you’d begun this evening, only to have it go unfinished for the both of you. You smile, soft and docile like your husband likes, your voice a dulcet song so close to his ears.

“Lead the way.”

Your ass stings red hot from another harsh slap laid against it. Joel’s hungry mouth devouring you, your hat and coat discarded on the floor right next to the door to your room. Hair tangled from the way Joel is hanging on to it for dear life as he pounds into you. Your only view is the cream colored walls, your face pressed up against the cool, smooth surface as Joel’s body pins you there. The door had no sooner shut than Joel had thrown you here, as much clothing ripped off as he could stand before his cock was inside of you. You’d cried out, whimpered at the sudden heavenly intrusion despite your pussy needing a moment to adjust. Joel had pushed through it, anyways, delivering the first spank of the night on your ass, pants and underwear hastily pulled down, halfway down your legs - enough room for Joel to slip his cock in was good enough for now, he’d thought hastily. The pain had melded into pleasure, your cunt squeezing his cock and starting to weep, easing Joel’s firm thrusts into you.

“F-fuck…” you whine against the wall, lips hanging open as his cock hits deep, your g-spot crying out already from all the stimulation he’s giving it. He’s not going easy on you, and you’d already known he wouldn’t the second he got you alone. All those hours, the silent teasing going on in both of your heads as you’d waited for this moment.

“Takin’ my cock like such a good girl… my obedient little wife,” Joel grunts out next to your ear, his teeth scraping your earlobes, sliding to your pulse point. You shudder, your hips spasming down onto him as pleasure starts to rock your body. You’re close… so fucking close to that perfect paradise only Joel knows how to get you to. “I’d’ve fucked you right in that lobby, right in that car or that god damned plane. Want everyone to see what I do to my pretty wife, what I’ve got right here… fuckin’ mess only for me,” Joel murmurs, rambling on as he grunts over and over, giving you everything he’s got. His hands tilt your hips, holding tightly while he anchors you there. And he’s right, you are a mess. Dripping slick, coating your thighs, disheveled hair and makeup now from the pleasured tears rolling down your cheeks, wet, squelching sounds filling the hotel room that you haven’t even had a chance to see yet as your face is turned towards the corner near the doorway. It must be a sight, indeed.

“Y-yeah? Wanna s-show me off…?” you breathe out, voice trembling as much as your body is starting to. Your knees are jelly, shaking and barely able to hold you up when Joel delves deep, hitting that spongy part inside of you again, making your eyes roll back. Of course he does, you know he does - nothing brings Joel more joy than letting the world know exactly what he has.

“Fuckin’ know I do… all lookin’ at this tight little cunt takin’ my fat cock, my pretty pussy, all mine.” Joel’s body presses closer, and you’re trapped even more, the both of you damp with sweat and almost incoherent as you near your highs.

“B-baby… I’m -” you whine out, “Please…”

Joel has waited as long as he could, knowing what you need. He’d wanted you desperate for it, so close, your climax just within reach, before he took you over the edge. His hand on your hip curves forward, finding your clit, and you moan loudly at the contact on the sensitive nerves. Your body moves of its own accord, bouncing back into his thrusts wildly, barely noticing that Joel’s other hand has left your hip until it connects with your neck, hand wrapping around your throat. You gasp, the noise cut off into a small choke while Joel’s hand tightens and you croak out a moan.

“Oh my g-god… please…” you whimper again in a strained voice, hoping, no, begging for permission from him. He plays with you a little longer, feeling his cock harden beyond what he’d think possible, aching even inside of you for more, as he toys with you, making you wait. His hand squeezes your neck once more, a little harder, keeping the pressure on. You’re feral, your body screaming at you but you concentrate, holding back, your mind doing gymnastics to try to deny what your body wants so badly.

“Come.” Joel speaks the one word with finality, and you let go, your body shaking violently. His hand releases and you breathe in a full, round breath as you come, your pussy creaming so hard on his cock that you start to feel dizzy from it all. 

“God damn, good girl… comin’ so pretty right now,” he whispers to your ear, the noise tickling your mind in the best way. Joel holds you up as you moan and whimper, his name falling off your lips in the way it always does in moments like these - worshiping him. You flutter and squeeze his cock like heaven incarnate, and Joel finds he can’t hold himself back any longer, spilling into you on the tail end of your own climax with a loud grunt, pretty praises for you off his lips.

You both collapse against the wall, Joel leaning against you, and you both catch your breath, the need gone for the moment after hours of waiting. You sigh, smiling in satisfaction when Joel pulls off of you, gathering you quickly into his arms, kissing you all over your head. 

“That’s better, ain’t it?” he says teasingly, and you chuckle, nodding in his grasp. You both readjust yourselves, Joel helping you situate the clothing he’d haphazardly pulled aside in his frenzy earlier.

“Much,” you say with another sigh, leaning into him. “What time is our lesson tomorrow?”

“Not ‘till noon. Had a feeling we’d be… up late,” Joel replies wryly, and you laugh again.

“Such a planner,” you poke at him, raising your brows before tilting your head to kiss his cheek. You slip out of his hold and start to meander further into the room, jaw dropping for what feels like the hundredth time tonight while you take in the vaulted ceilings with those same warm wooden beams and white painted walls, a stone fireplace roaring in the center of the room across from the massive bed, adorned with rose petals. More roses sit atop the small breakfast table in a vase near the windows, and when you venture over there, the view you’re taking in is beyond stunning - the mountains in full view, moonlight shining over the entirety of the landscape and your eyes start to tear up. Champagne in an ice bucket, boxes of chocolate, fresh fruit, the entire works are all laid out - such a lavish, gorgeous display for the traditional romantic in you. You turn around finally, meeting Joel’s gaze, where he stands, a smitten look on his face as he watches you take it all in.

“Joel… What can I even say?” you gasp out, throwing your hands up before letting them hang back at your sides, defeated in the best way. “Thank you…” you say meekly, turning to peer out the window once more before walking towards him, throwing your arms around his neck.

“Thanked me plenty back there. An’ every day when you just be my good little wife, that’s thanks enough, doll,” Joel replies soothingly, stroking the back of your head. You lean your head against his chest, content to just listen to his heart beat for a few seconds, take in the memories of this moment. You lean back, tilting your head to give him a warm, grateful smile.

“Take me to bed?”

The next morning is far from the slow, romantic morning Joel had desired for you, realizing the both of you had forgotten to set any alarms and slept in well past 10:00 after your late night. It was barely giving the two of you time to get ready - a rushed shower and breakfast before hurrying to your skiing lesson. He’d dreamed about this hotel that he’d booked for months, the thought of waking you up with his mouth pressed deep into your cunt on that California King as he’d planned would have to be a distant fantasy as you two got on with your day. 

Joel couldn’t help but stare at you the entire lesson, the way your face is lit up with pure joy in your ski gear as you fumbled to get the hang of things along with him. He’d gotten you ski pants, a jacket, gloves, and goggles - all the works that he knew was ridiculous for your first time on the mountain for that price tag. But he also knew you’d look just like this - adorable in your matching winter set, colorful goggles perched on top of your beanie and perfect lips curled into a never ending grin - and it made it all worth it. 

Joel finds his own smile recounting the day as he keeps a steady hand on your back, the open back, low cut slinky dress he’d packed for you to wear to dinner tonight leaving plenty of skin for his hands to roam over as you two walk back to your room, full and contented. A candlelit dinner in the lodge’s shockingly expensive restaurant and a few drinks had you both feeling good as new again after your long day of skiing and mostly falling. 

You two had laughed for hours as you’d fallen on your asses more times than anyone could count. Once you got the hang of it enough to get on the smaller slopes, you’d been unable to stop giggling the entire time, you and Joel catching up at the bottom just to ride the lift up again and again. You two flirted shamelessly the entire day like two teenagers, your heart swelling with so much love for your husband like it was your first date all over again. It was nice to have this uninterrupted time to just talk, get each other caught up on the other’s recent thoughts, feelings, and days that got lost amid the hustle of daily life. 

Joel’s lips connect with the back of your neck as soon as the door to your room at the lodge is shut. “Like t’see those candy underwear again,” he mumbles to your skin, and you giggle a little too loudly, stumbling forward a bit.

Your brows wiggle as you try to crane your neck to look back at him. “That so, Mr. Miller?”

“Christ, y’only call me that when you’ve been drinkin’,” Joel teases, snaking his arms around to your front, holding you against him, the bulge in his dress pants becoming more obvious by the second as it hardens, pressing into you. “Can’t decide if it’s cute or jus’ makes me feel old.”

“No I don’t, Mr. Miller. And it is cute,” you demand, trying to hide the tiniest bit of a slur in your voice. Joel wasn’t wrong, you had been known to use that particular nickname for him after a few drinks, but you tended to be a bit of a bratty, indignant drunk. 

“Thas right, ‘cause everythin’ you do is cute, m’little wife.” Joel says with a smile in his voice. His lips connect with your neck once again, trailing a few kisses down your spine. “An’ sexy…” he adds in a lower tone, one hand sliding to your hip, then your ass, squeezing hard before giving it a playful smack.

“Keep talkin’ if you want those candy panties to see the light of day again,” you reply, leaning back into him, your weight immediately welcomed by his warm, solid body. 

“Oh, sweet girl, always gettin’ so bold with that wine, aren’t ya?” Joel’s hold tightens, one hand splayed across your torso and the other gripping your ass hard enough to bruise. “You forgotten who’s in charge here? Hm, baby?”

“A-actually, it was champagne…” you strain out, starting to pant as Joel’s hold goes even tighter, his domination quickly getting your thighs sticky, and you lament the fact you don’t have any underwear on right now. All at Joel’s request, of course, that you forgo any underwear at dinner tonight. You just whimper out a quiet moan, knowing you’ve gotten Joel riled up enough to keep going on his own volition.

“Think I don’t call the shots suddenly, huh? My sweet, sweet wife, we both know,” he pauses, mouth moving right next to your ear. A small nibble, his breath warm and tickling you in the best way right on sensitive skin sends a shudder through you. “That if I say put those fuckin’ candy panties on right this god damn minute, you’re gonna do it, yeah?”

Joel’s teeth suddenly sink into your neck a little, a tiny bite followed by a suck, and you nod desperately, silently cursing yourself for giving in so quickly, not giving yourself a little more time to play with him, let that tiny bratty part of you out of her cage for one of her rare appearances.

“Ain’t that right?” Joel repeats, giving your hair a little tug.

“Y-yes, Joel, yes baby…” you breathe out, and he releases your hair, his hold loosening on your body before he gives a loving pat to your ass. 

“Good girl,” he coos, satisfied, sending another wave of heat to the apex of your thighs to hear his praise. A tiny moan slips out at the two words, still so effective after all these years. Joel chuckles, a tiny little huff off his lips as he spins you to face him. His hand cups your pussy through your dress, pushing the silky material between your legs before he tuts.

“Soakin’ yourself jus’ from gettin’ called a good girl…” he murmurs, lips getting dangerously close to yours. “Good. Girl.” he says with a smirk against your lips before kissing you. It’s long and deep, reminding you that behind the play and facade is an infinite amount of care for you - his wife, his forever.

He tears himself away, leaning his forehead against yours. “Now, go on and change f’me.” 

You nod against him, then step back when he releases you from his hold. Breathless, on shaky legs, you rummage through your suitcase to pull out the candy set, smiling when you hold up the pastel treats, strung up on what might be the world’s flimsiest string. One minute in Joel’s rough, domineering hands and these would be toast, you think, almost laughing to yourself. 

You see Joel go towards the fireplace, sinking himself down in one of the plush chairs there and crossing his ankle over his knee, settling back as he unbuttons the top few buttons of his crisp white dress shirt, watching you expectantly. You scurry off under his hot gaze, using the bathroom to change out of his eyesight before reemerging in his requested lingerie. You fight a giggle, wine still coursing through you while being reminded of the pure ridiculousness of this little stunt of yours. 

Joel eats with his eyes first and foremost, sweeping them up your body as he finishes getting comfortable, unbuttoning and rolling up his sleeves. You stand in front of him, thankful for the warmth of the fireplace right next to the two of you in your skimpy ensemble, and take him in right back. Broad, muscled, just starting to show his age with more grays every time you blink, and you love it. Love every inch of Joel. 

“On the ground,” Joel says coolly, and you smirk, trying to hide it into a submissive, coy smile. Your knees go first, the plush rug under them a welcome relief, pure fluffy luxury in a weekend full of it. You start to lay prone, chest heaving with anticipation, mind spinning and reeling, wondering what torturous loving Joel has in store, how much he’ll milk it all out just for your tiny bit of bratiness earlier.

“Jus’ like that, thas’ right.” He leans forward and smiles, a little devilish and boyish in one, and you think you fall in love again as you watch him moving, looming over you now. He quickly palms the outside of his slacks, just the quickest relief before sliding his hand away, starting to circle you. 

“Where to start…” Joel trills, and your body heats up even more while his eyes dig into you. When he’s standing at your feet, he starts to come down, leaning his entire body over you. “Can you be a good little doll and lay still while I have my treat?”

Breathless, you nod. Your eyes roll back a little when you blink hard, trying to catch your breath. Joel’s lifted brow and stare prompt you without him even having to say it - use your words, darlin’.

“Yes,” you say more confidently, and Joel smiles sweetly down at you. 

“Good.”

He starts slow, lips moving languidly across your belly, up to where the candy rests on your tits, lapping at the sweetness there for a few licks. 

“Mmm…” Joel mumbles. He’s back on you the next second, sucking the candies right on top of your nipples. The friction of the hard candies combined with the tiny licks of his tongue coming through to the hardened buds has your back arching, hips searching for him. You squirm, panting now when he bites through the candy, grazing your nipple with his teeth. Joel’s hands come down, ever so gently guiding your hips back down to the plush rug underneath you. 

“What’d I say about bein’ still?” Joel teases, holding you there now before going back to bite again, crunching the candies before using his sugary tongue to tease your nipple with a few flicks as it pokes through the hole he’s just made. You start to moan, already a lost cause for your husband, the thought of trying to keep your body still already torturous. 

“I c-can’t help it… I’m sorry, sir,” you pant out when your hips lift again, his mouth working harder and harder on your nipples. He grunts disapprovingly and continues on until both of your nipples are free, surrounded by the rest of the candy bra. Joel seems like a man possessed, lost in it all while he devours the candies, sucking and licking each new patch of skin, a sticky, sweet mess all over your skin. 

You’re aching, body tense and in hot, hot need of him now as he teases you over and over. Your thighs clamp tight, trying to avoid bucking them up into where his hard, clothed cock hovers teasingly right above you. His hand grips tightly to your hip, the string of candy taut between his fingers. He’s eaten enough of the bra that it’s starting to droop, fall off of you completely, and Joel tears it aside, scattering the rest of the candies along the floor with a tinkling sound that pulls you out of the moment for a beat as you turn your head to watch the treats roll away.

“Good girl, bein’ so good f’me… such a sweet little thing…” Joel says, lifting his head off of your chest, giving you ferocious, unhinged eyes and candy tinted lips, puffy and overused.

“J-joel… please…” you whine out, the way he’s looking at you pulsing right to your already soaking cunt. His hand slips underneath the panties while he keeps his eyes on yours, watching them roll back completely as he fingers your clit. Your hips buck, finally, unable to stop it and you feel your lip quiver as a shaky moan releases from them. Joel leans forward, his lips finding yours and kissing you zealously, a glace mix of him and the sweets has your head spinning as you lap the taste off of his lips and tongue eagerly.

“So sweet…” you mumble into his mouth, going back for more and more, until you’re feeling just as sticky and sweaty as he is, the slow burn starting to gnaw at you, your core dripping while Joel rubs the softest circles over your bundle of nerves.

“You’re perfect, y’know,” Joel breathes out, lifting his lips off of yours just the tiniest bit. “My perfect girl…” You moan when his finger suddenly sinks inside of you, too caught up in the moment to even notice when he’d delicately slipped it from your clit to your clenching hole. You suck him in greedily, desperate for anything he’ll give you and whimper.

Joel contorts himself, sliding down your body, keeping his finger moving at a languid, steady pace as his mouth now meets the candy panties, nibbling along the top of it. You’re losing control, unable to take the teasing anymore, the slowness of everything, your rough and ready husband nowhere to be found right now. 

Your moans become breathier, urgent and panting out of you more quickly than you can handle, your mind going a little fuzzy and light as the feeling of Joel completely takes over you.

“There we go… jus’ float on away baby, let me take you there…” Joel coos from your hip where his lips graze against your skin as another few pieces of candy come off. You give him an affirmative noise, barely registered even by your own mind as your eyes slip closed, your body warm and tingling, so desperately close to the edge. Joel’s finger hooks upwards inside of you and you gasp loudly, your body wracked with spasms as you start to come onto his thick finger. Joel lets you freely writhe and shake now, not bothering to have you lay still while he fucks his finger against your g-spot relentlessly while you ride out the waves of pleasure. You’re whimpering, a complete mess, chest, face, cunt, all feeling sticky and completely used by the man you love.

Your head lolls along the rug a bit before you blindly reach your hand for Joel, grasping his shoulder with your eyes still lazing shut. “F-fuck me, please… please,” you whimper, lightly clawing at his dress shirt.

You hear one more crunch of the candies before Joel’s fingers hook on the sides of the delicate string and pull your panties off. You can feel him, his presence hovering above you as he sits back on his knees and you hear him unbuckling his belt, imagining in your mind the sight of his hard cock coming free, readying itself at your entrance. You can barely think about opening your leaden eyes right now, still on the heels of your climax as your chest heaves up and down. You can feel the warmth radiating off of Joel as he climbs on top of you, hands gripping your calves to lift your legs up enough for him to fit snugly between them.

You grit your teeth a little, grunting out a gratified moan when you feel Joel start to push himself in, your cunt fluttering as it accepts as much of him as he’ll give. You’re greedy tonight, you can feel it, just needing everything Joel can give you, how far away from reality he could take you tonight.

He pumps in and out, almost uncharacteristic in his tentativeness, more of his thick length going in each time, and you finally peek your eyes open slowly, hands reaching to his shoulders and pushing underneath the collar of his dress shirt, finding his warm skin. He’s moving slower than he normally would, and you find his face looking down at you with adoration, just content to watch your face twitch and contort with each unhurried drag of his cock along your silky walls.

“Lookin’ like an angel,” Joel comments, seeing your face sheening and glowing from your climax, hair splayed around your head like a halo - pure angelic beauty, a work of art that Joel could never tire of gazing upon. You smile softly, one of your hands stroking his cheek lovingly, soft moans streaming out of you while he keeps up the same pace.

“Baby…” you moan, “I s-said to fuck me, please…”

“I am, little doll…” Joel teases back with a slow push of his dick into you, and you shake your head.

“You know what I meeeeaan,” you whine desperately, fingers itching to reach down and grasp his hips, pull him into you harder. Joel’s hips twitch a little faster, starting to roll into you with more force and you sigh, head thrown back a bit more.

“What, like this?”

Uh-huh. You start to go a little breathless, legs wrapping around Joel’s waist, securing your calves tightly against him.

“You want me to use you up again, hm? That it? My poor baby, she jus’ wants this tight little hole to be so fucked out she can’t walk, doesn’t she?” Joel says, patronizingly sweet with the drawl of each word.

You nod desperately. “Please, sir, t-that’s…” you stop to moan loudly when he bucks into you harder and harder. “That’s all I want…” you finally choke out, Joel’s cock hitting you so deep you nearly feel your breath stolen right from your lungs.

“What my pretty wife wants, she gets,” Joel practically sings to you, bringing his lips down to yours for a kiss, letting his mouth sloppily work its way to your neck, starting to bite and suck while he crashes into you harder with each thrust. You can only make tiny noises, clutching him as your hands snake around his neck, holding him close to you. Joel grunts loudly between sloppy licks and sucks on your throat, his hips moving more clumsily as your walls squeeze him to the point he’s not sure how much longer he can hold back.

“God damn it baby, this little pussy wants me in there so bad, she’s so greedy,” Joel punches out right next to your ear. You shudder, hips spasming and only tightening you around him further. Joel groans loudly.

“Please…” is all you can whisper, out of breath as he hits deep inside of you with each new movement. 

“Fuck, c-can’t… need to fill you up, darlin’, need you fuckin’ full of me…”

“Pleaaaase…” More urgently this time, lips dry from the way you’re sucking in oxygen in quick gasps, starting to feel your orgasm clawing at your belly, tingly and hot.

“Fuckin’ full of me… gonna fuck a baby into you, sweetheart. Give you my f-fuckin’ baby right now… m-make you swell up,” Joel pants, his face buried in your shoulder, biting down. You gasp, completely lost to the moment, fingers digging into his skin as you pull him in tighter, legs and feet crushed against his back. There are no two bodies here, only togetherness and sweat and breath - two people so lost in the moment and pure pleasure that they’re outside of themselves, becoming one frenzied movement to climb higher and higher to that sweet peak of relief.

“F-fuck… yes, yes, baby, yes…” you moan out. “Fill me up… d-do it…” you whine. With a stunted grunt Joel’s hips stutter forward, burying himself deep. The power, the emotion of it all as he starts to paint your walls tips you over the edge, fluttering tightly around him as you milk every bit of his seed into you, spasming and moaning as you reach another high.

“Oh my god…” you breathe out as you come hard, Joel’s ragged breath right in your ear softly moaning for you. The both of you fully collapse, Joel rolling to the side, clutching an arm around your chest. The crackling sound of the fireplace start to come back into your consciousness, the stillness and warmth of the room hitting you all over again while you lay back, feeling the stickiness of the two of you steadily leaking out of you. You’re speechless now, barely able to catch your breath, let alone process what Joel had hummed into your ear in the heat of the moment.

A baby. Did he really want that with you? 

You two hadn’t discussed having children very often just yet, wanting to wait and enjoy being married, being just you two for a few years. But you felt your heart flutter a little, the thought of a little life inside of you, yours and Joel’s, a beautiful loved baby that you’d grow and nurture together. You can scarcely breathe at the thought, the love your heart swells with for this faraway notion, this unconceived child, already imprinting themselves onto your heart.

“Joel…” you murmur. His head turns towards you, and you watch light flickering around him from the shadows the fire is casting along his golden skin.

“I-” Joel stutters, seeing the look in your eyes. For once, he’s not sure he can quite read it. He knows he said something so much more tangible this time, beyond all the dirty talk the both of you love to get lost in. It was too much, surely, he’d scared you with it. “I’m sorry, honey, that was… jus’ caught in the moment, maybe…”

Your face falls a little, eyes dropping to peer past him with a sad look. “Were you?” you ask timidly, hands coming together on your belly and wringing nervously.

Joel’s eyes bore into yours, soft now, none of that feral fire that was there only minutes ago. He shakes his head slowly.

“N-no, no I wasn’t, doll,” he replies quietly. Your lips twitch a little, a small smile that you’re not able to hold back now.

“I, uh, I wasn’t either,” you tell him, and Joel’s eyes flash, lighting up a bit.

He turns completely on his side, and you do too, facing each other and scooting even closer. Joel drapes a hand over you, starting to rub lazy patterns onto your back. “So should we… uh, talk about this, then?” he asks, giving you a half, lopsided smile.

You give him a nod and a toothy grin, resting your forehead against his. “Get me those chocolates on the table over there and then we’re in business.” Joel moves without hesitation, winking at you as he pulls himself off the floor.

“Anythin’ f’you, darlin’."

You have no idea what hour it is, how long you’ve even been asleep when you feel Joel’s warm body pressing into yours, his chest now up against your back. The room is still nearly pitch black, making you take a moment to recall exactly where you are. You sigh, smiling softly at the memory of your trip thus far and you see a tiny sliver of light coming in around the blackout curtains in the room, clearly doing their job well by keeping you two asleep for god knows how long.

“Baby…” Joel whispers in your ear. You roll over slightly, your ass now rubbing into his crotch. Your eyes flutter slightly when you feel his cock, already half hard for you. Your insatiable husband, fucking you within an inch of your life for two nights in a row, and still coming back for more - a rare man of his age so voraciously consuming you over and over, never seeming to be satisfied.

“Hmm?” you murmur in reply. Joel wraps an arm across you, snuggling you closer, all warm heat against his broad, naked chest.

“Mornin’...” he mumbles back, lips pressed to your neck. “Sweet girl.”

“Morning, handsome,” you say, reaching an arm behind you to cup Joel’s cheek, running your fingers through his beard. He hums in pleasure, dipping his lips down to kiss your neck again. You shudder, digging yourself deeper under the plush comforter as you feel goosebumps covering your entire body. Joel’s hands start to roam, sliding over the skimpy, half see through pink slip you’d discovered in your suitcase last night.

Joel is suddenly shifting in the bed, and you feel the sheets rustling next to you before he’s bumping your legs as he climbs over them, settling himself underneath the comforter right in between your thighs. His touch just grazes over your plush thighs, soft and gentle, how Joel tends to be first thing in the mornings before he descends into the rough, possessive man that you’re more used to.

“So soft, little doll…” Joel murmurs from between your legs, his breath hot on your inner thighs while he leans down to kiss the outside of your panties. You just mumble incoherent noises of affirmation, still half asleep. Joel makes quick work of your panties, a pair to match the slip, of course, and pulls them down your legs, discarding them in the mess of sheets.

Your hips buck, a louder moan escaping you when his mouth finds your warm center, already wet and wanting for him.

“She’s ready f’me, ain’t she… waitin’ on her mornin’ wakeup,” Joel teases before running his tongue up your slit another time, flicking it on your clit a few times. A gentle suck there has your whining ramping up, hips begging him for more more more already. You’re barely even lucid yet and Joel is on the precipice of pulling yet another earth shattering orgasm out of you.

“J-jesus… please…” you beg, already feeling the familiar warmth pooling tighter in your core, your knees wobbling as they curl up, giving you some leverage to lazily push your hips against Joel’s tongue as it moves along your pussy.

“C’mon baby, fall apart f’me, s’okay it’s so fast…” Joel pulls back to murmur to you, kissing along your inner thighs as he speaks.

Your hand snakes below the sheets, burying your fingers into his lush, gorgeous curls, letting them massage his scalp as he dives back into your cunt, licking in just the right way he knows makes you go crazy with need, that makes you come within minutes, sometimes even much less.

You moan loudly, hips spasming as your climax surprises you suddenly, the waves of pleasure hitting you while Joel lets you ride it out onto his face. Your eyes roll back and you whimper quietly as you come down, flopping onto the bed with a content little sigh, body going limp. Joel kisses his way up your stomach, chest, and finally your lips, where you taste that primal honey of yourself on his lips. You quickly fall back into a dozing, lazy state before Joel wakes you again with his lips on your neck.

“Gonna order us room service,” he whispers near your ear, and you nod, finally opening your eyes to see your husband’s rugged, handsome face hovering above yours. Sharp smirk, stress lines, wild bedhead and all - he’s perfect, and you can’t help but smile sleepily in return. 

“There she is,” he teases, giving your forehead a smooch. “One mention of breakfast and she’s all bright eyed ‘n bushy tailed, huh?” You stick your tongue out teasingly, waggling your head at him.

“How about we eat, then we can go explore the town, do a little shoppin’ f’you, see the sights ‘n all that, hm?” Joel asks, and you nod tiredly but excitedly. 

“Mmm, sounds good,” you agree, blinking slowly as you try to wake up, finally coming to enough to recall the conversation the two of you had last night. The dreams you’d shared, hopes you had for having a child, all the ways your lives would change but also stay quite the same. The way your love would stay the same, deepen even, with seeing the other become a parent. Weighing it all carefully but with hopeful hushed voices, wondering if this was the right time for that next step for the two of you. When you’d both tearfully agreed that you’d start really trying in a few months after some more planning and thought, your heart soared higher than the clouds, than anywhere you could even conceive in your mind, chest tight with anticipation for all of it.

This morning that same feeling persists as you look upon Joel - so steady, so assured - everything you’ve ever dreamed of right here in this one man.

“How about we get some practice in while we wait for the food…” you suggest with your raspy, sleep laden voice, raising your brows at him as you feel his cock brush against you again, clearly hard and wanting.

“Baby makin’ practice?” Joel teases, scooping you up into his arms and peppering kisses all along the side of your face. “That kinda practice, hm? Not just an excuse to get me naked again?”

You laugh, turning your head to kiss him back, relishing in the familiar plumpness of his lips, the taste of your husband, all of it like a map you’ve traced your fingers over hundreds of times now, knowing every route, twist, and turn, filled with such a deep appreciation for the landscape laid out in front of you. You smile again as you two look at each other, feeling your cheeks starting to hurt from the way you’ve been grinning practically non-stop for the last two days because of your gruff but secretly so soft husband. Your hand moves upwards to cup his cheek, sincerity written all over you.

 “Happy Valentine’s Day, Joel.”

Joel smiles back, the same unspoken thoughts and deeply rooted loving care for you penned all over his features, entrenched in every weathered line, nook, and cranny of him. 

“Happy Valentine’s, little doll.”

dividers by the amazing @/saradika-graphics &lt;3

[fictionadventurer]

I have to talk about Chester Arthur. His story makes me go crazy. A mediocre president from the 1880s who's completely forgotten today has one of the best redemption stories I've ever heard and I need to make people understand just how cool his story is.

So, like, he starts out as this idealist, okay? He's the son of an abolitionist minister and becomes famous as a New York lawyer who defends the North's version of Rosa Parks whose story desegregates New York City's trolley system.

Then he starts getting pulled into politics and becomes one of the grimiest pieces of the political machine. He wants money, power, prestige, and he gets it. He becomes the right-hand man of Roscoe Conkling, the most feared political boss in the nation, a guy who will throw his weight around and do the most ruthless things imaginable to keep his friends in power and destroy his enemies.

Because Arthur's this guy's top lackey, he gets to be Controller of the Port of New York--the best-paying political appointment in the country, because that port brings in, like, 70% of the federal government's funds in tariffs. He gets a huge salary plus a percentage of all the fines they levy on lawbreakers, and because he's not afraid to make up infractions to fine people over, he is absolutely raking in the dough. Making the rough equivalent of $1.3 million a year--absolutely insane amounts of money for a government position. He's spending ridiculous sums on clothes, buying huge amounts of alcohol and cigars to share with people as part of his job recruiting supporters to the party, going out nearly every night to wine and dine people as part of his work in the political machine. He's living the high life. Even when President Hayes pulls him from his position on suspicions of fraud, he's still living a great life of wealth, power, and prestige.

Then in 1880, his beloved wife dies. While he's out of town working for a political campaign. And he can't get back in time to say goodbye before she dies. Because he's a guy who has big emotions, it absolutely tears him up inside, especially because Nell resented how much his political work kept him away from home. He has huge regrets, but he just moves in with Roscoe Conkling and keeps working for the political machine.

And then he gets a chance to be vice president. The Republican Party has nominated James Garfield, a dark horse candidate who wants to reform the spoils system that has given Conking his power and gave Arthur his position as Port Controller. Conkling is pissed, and he controls New York, and since the party's not going to win the election without New York, they think that appointing Conkling's top lackey as vice-president will pacify him.

They're wrong--Conkling orders Arthur to refuse--but Arthur thinks this sounds like a great opportunity. The only political position he's ever held is Port Controller--a job he wasn't elected to and that he was pulled from in disgrace. Vice President is way more than he could ever have hoped for. It's a position with a lot of political pull and zero actual responsibilities. He'll get to spend four years living in up in Washington high society. It's the perfect job! Of course he accepts, and Conkling comes around when he figures out that he can use this to his advantage.

When Garfield becomes president, Arthur does everything he can to undermine him. He uses every dirty political trick he can think of to block everything that Garfield wants to do. He refuses to let the Senate elect a president pro tempore so he can stay there and influence every bill that comes through. He all but openly boasts of buying votes in the election. He's so much Conkling's lackey that he may as well be the henchman of a cartoon supervillain. On Conkling's orders, he drags one of Garfield's Cabinet members out of bed in the middle of the night--while the guy is ill--to drag him to Conkling's house so he can be forced to resign. He's just absolutely a thorn in the president's side, a henchman doing everything he can to maintain the corrupt spoils system.

Then in July 1881, when Arthur's in New York helping Conkling's campaign, the president gets shot. By a guy who shouts, "Now Arthur will be president!" just after he fires the gun. Arthur has just spent the past four months fighting the president tooth and nail. Everyone thinks he's behind the assassination. There are lynch mobs looking to take out him and Conkling. The papers are tearing him apart.

Arthur is absolutely distraught. He rushes to Washington to speak with the president and assure him of his innocence, but the doctors won't let him in the room. He gets choked up when talking to the First Lady. Reporters find him weeping in his house in Washington. Once again, death has torn his world apart and he's not getting a chance to make amends.

Arthur goes to New York while the president is getting medical treatment, and he refuses to come to Washington and take charge because he doesn't dare to give the impression that he's looking to take over. No one wants Arthur to be president and he doesn't want to be president, and the possibility that this corrupt political lackey is about to ascend to the highest office in the land is absolutely terrifying to everyone.

Then in August, when it's becoming clear that the president is unlikely to recover, he gets a letter. From a 31-year-old invalid from New York named Julia Sand. A woman from a very politically-minded family who has been following Arthur's career for years. And she writes him this astounding letter that takes him to task for his corrupt, conniving ways, and the obsession with worldly power and prestige that has brought him wealth and fame at the cost of his own soul--and she tells him that he can do better. In the midst of a nationwide press that's tearing him apart, this one woman writes to tell him that she believes he has the capacity to be a good president and a good man if he changes his ways.

And then he does. After Garfield dies, people come to Arthur's house and find servants who tell them that Arthur is in his room weeping like a child (I told you he had big emotions), but he takes the oath of office and ascends to the presidency. And he becomes a completely different man. His first speech as president mentions that one of his top priorities is reforming the spoils system so that people will be appointed based on merit rather than getting appointed as political favors with each change in the administration. Even though this system made him president. When Conkling comes to Arthur's office telling him to appoint his people to important government positions, Arthur calls his demands outrageous, throws him out, and keeps Garfield's appointees in the positions. "He's not Chet Arthur anymore," one of his former political friends laments. "He's the president."

He loses all his former political friends. He's never trusted by the other side. Yet he sticks to his guns and continues to support spoils system reform. He prosecutes a postal service corruption case that everyone thought he would drop. He's the one who signs into law the first civil service reform bill, even though presidents have been trying to do this for more than ten years, and he's the person who's gained all his power through the spoils system. He immediately takes action to enforce this bill when he could have just dropped it. He becomes a champion of this issue even though it's the last thing anyone would have expected of him.

He oversees naval reform. He oversees a renovation of the White House. He still prefers the social duties of the presidency, but he's respectable in a way that no one expected. Possibly because Julia Sand keeps sending him letters of encouragement and advice over the next two years. But also because he's dying.

Not long after ascending to the presidency, he learns he's suffering from a terminal kidney disease. And he tells no one. He keeps going about his daily life, fulfilling his duties as president, and keeps his health problems hidden. Once again, death is upending his life, and this time it's his own death. He's lived a life he's ashamed of, and he doesn't have much time left to change. He enters the presidency as an example of the absolute worst of the political system, and leaves it as a respectable man.

He makes a token effort to seek re-election, but because of his health problems, he doesn't mind at all when someone else gets the nomination. He dies a couple of years after leaving office. The day before his death, he orders most of his papers burned, because he's ashamed of his old life--but among the things that are saved are the letters from Julia Sand, the woman who encouraged him to change his ways.

This is an astounding story full of so many twists and turns and dramatic moments. A man who falls from idealism into the worst kind of corruption and then claws his way back up to decency because of a series of devastating personal losses and unexpected opportunities to do more than he could have ever hoped to do. I just go crazy thinking about it and I need you all to understand just how amazing this story is.

[skeltnwrites]

The Shape of Family ‧₊˚❀༉

As a single dad, Steve’s world revolves around school drop-offs, bedtime rituals, and tee-ball practices—and he's struggling to keep up. But you're always there, happily lending a hand when he needs it most. / part one masterlist

part two - at the rec center's fall festival, you and steve finally make plans to hang out 11k

a/n - how did this end up twice as long as the first chapter this was supposed to be a short one!! general warnings/tags here

── .✦

Utah’s pretty this time of year. Fall is in full swing. The maple and cottonwood mellow into rich shades of orange, there is a constant crush of leaves underfoot, and the crisp scent of pine needles mingle with the breeze. Your neighbors go all out to decorate. Pumpkins are for sale on every corner and the apple orchards buzz with families for the harvest. This kind of weather has every brush of sunlight feeling like a hug you didn’t know you needed. 

The rec center hosts an annual fall festival, bringing hayrides, corn mazes, and costume contests. And though you wouldn’t normally volunteer on a Sunday, Steve’s hard to say no to. It’s not like he begged you or anything, a half-shrug and simple “If you want to” was enough convincing. 

You’d volunteer with or without Steve. You have the time and the goodwill and thus it’s a cork on the end of your monotonous work-week. But there’s no denying that Steve makes it a hell of a lot more enjoyable. He’s the sunrise after a long night, guiding you into the days ahead. And yeah, maybe you’re romanticizing too much. Too caught up in the way his tongue sticks out when he’s concentrating or how he mumbles to himself when he forgets you’re near. But working with him is delightful, nonetheless. 

You and Steve are friends now. Well, work friends. You’ve never actually hung out outside of the rec center but there isn’t a Friday that one of you doesn’t mention it while you eat lunch in his office. You’ve learned trivial little things about him, like his favorite brand of pen, the store he buys his groceries from, and how he likes his coffee– hot enough to burn, with as much sugar as he can get away with without attracting strange looks. You ask about Penelope often and he’s very open; eager to rant and rave about the latest details of their lives. She visits every now and then, usually too sick or naughty to be at school. So you’ve come to know her just as much. That she loves Barbies and Salt-N-Pepa and insects but not the furry ones. 

Being in each other’s lives is routine at this point– parking beside his car, leaving sticky notes on his desk, setting your bag in his office. It would be crazy to say you love him, you don’t, obviously, but you feel like you could. And you know you’d be devastated if he left the center. Your shift assignments are arranged so they almost always thread with his.

He’s always hated asking for help, but then you came, puttering into his office with a lovely smile and open arms and suddenly it’s not so bad. He’ll ask for your assistance on more projects than not: your advice, your creative eye, your hands to hang something that he most certainly could do alone. 

Like now, you trail only a few paces behind Steve, cradling a wicker basket full of decorations. He billows a tablecloth over the nearest picnic table, considering your dispute over the best holiday. 

“I dunno, I’m more of a Christmas guy,” Steve shrugs, smoothing out a ripple in the fabric. “The music is just inarguably better. You get to open presents and eat delicious food. Not really a contest in my book.” 

You hum, centering a plastic pumpkin. 

“Penelope is like the queen of Halloween, though.” The corners of his eyes crinkle with mirth. “This morning, she told me she wished she was born on Halloween so she could go trick-or-treating on her birthday.” 

You wear a similar expression, gaze flicking over to Penelope. She’s not far, crouched in a strip of dirt, parting a pile of leaves to search for ladybugs and other creatures. “I bet she’s excited for all that candy.” 

“That’s all she’d eat if I let her. I’ve already scheduled a dentist appointment for her in November– But, I’m just as bad, she gets her sweet tooth from me,” he admits. 

“Figured. The amount of Reese's wrappers I find in your trash.” 

He squeezes your shoulder playfully, not hard enough that you should need to squirm away but you do. “Whatever. Why are you going through my trash anyway, weirdo.” 

You click your tongue, “I wasn’t going through your trash! They are on the top where anyone could see.” 

“Mhmm, whatever you say… dumpster diver.” 

Joan, the youth counselor, whisks over to interrupt with arms full of mason jars before you can retort. Steve smothers his smirk with an answer to her question. Your tongue prods the inside of your cheek to prevent your own. 

It’s like this with Steve, now. Teasing and taunting each other like schoolchildren. A game of tug-of-war, where every knowing glance and light-hearted jab pulls the rope just a little tighter between you. It’s as thrilling as it is nerve-wracking. 

It’s not much later when guests filter into the festival. The earliest glow of sunset mists the courtyard in gold. There’s cider stations and pumpkin carving and a whole bunch of apple bobbers fighting to win a pumpkin pie. Monster Mash bleeds from several speakers lining the trail to the tented area you find yourself in. People dance and laugh and drink. It’s a very successful event for the rec center. 

Steve plops down on the bench across from you, Penelope at his hip. A silent, self-invitation he knows you won’t decline— you enjoy their company more than people-watching. He seems to find you no matter which way you drift, even through a sea of townsfolk. 

A big scoop of chili is spooned from his paper bowl into a second. “Blow on it,” Steve reminds, planting it in front of Penelope. 

She does blow on it, a spray of more spit than air that merits her a shoulder nudge to knock it off. 

Penelope simpers over her steaming food as Steve offers you an apologetic look. Last you saw her, she was waving her way up the stairs to the costume contest. She’s since been bundled up– a tiara traded for a knit beanie and the gown from her dress-up bin crammed underneath a thick sweater and spilling out the hem. 

The string lights bathe their faces in a white glow. It highlights the beauty mark on the slope of Penelope’s cheek, like a half of Steve’s pair in the same spot. It’s not often you get to just enjoy their company. No scrambling about deadlines or standards. It’s a calm you could get used to. But Steve’s always ten steps ahead, already plotting which crew needs the most tending to when he’s finished eating. He’s selfless like that. Your feet ache from running around, but Steve’s probably worse. 

“Penelope, is that what you’re wearing on Halloween?” You ask.

Her chin presses into the neckline of her sweater. “No,” she recalls, mouth full of sauce. “I’m being Dorothy.” 

Steve swipes a napkin across her lips before anything drips. 

“From The Wizard of Oz?” 

“Mhmm,” she grins, popping the spoon out of her mouth. 

“Very cool. Did you get your costume yet?” 

She nods, glancing at Steve, “Daddy made it.” 

Steve’s in his own little world, slurping his belly full of warm food and basking in the second of peace he‘s been given. But he blinks back into reality at your questioning stare, leaning in to hear you over the boisterous laughs of nearby people. 

You try to reel in your surprise, soften your features. “You made her costume?”

“Oh,” he waves a dismissive hand, “I just sewed a shirt to a dress. Nothing fancy.” 

“Still– that’s really cool, Steve.” 

He stirs his food, voice torn with guilt. “I dunno. It’s cheap.” 

“Costumes are better homemade. The ones in the stores are tacky. I bet it looks amazing.” 

Fragments of a smile find his lips, more a peace offering than a true one. 

“I painted my shoes red and I put so much glitter on them so they sparkle,” Penelope adds cheerfully.  

“You did?” 

She nods, shining with pride. 

“It’s been two weeks and I’m still finding glitter everywhere,” Steve comments, more amused than he lets on. He can’t be that mad when they’re little reminders of his favorite person in the world. 

“Are you dressing up?” You ask him. 

He huffs, side-eyeing Penelope. “Yes.” 

A glint forms in her eyes, a sly little smirk beneath. “Daddy is going to be the lion because he’s hairy.”

You laugh and Penelope joins you because Steve has a funny pouty face. 

He rolls his eyes. “Tell ‘em who’s your Toto?” 

“Cinderella!”

“No way!” You match her level of excitement. “Does she have a costume?” 

“No, but I have a basket for her to sit in.” 

You coo, “I bet Cinderella will love that.” 

Steve snorts because he knows you know Cinderella will in fact not love that. 

Cinderella is supposedly the grumpiest animal he’s ever met. She was a quick, unfortunately painful, lesson on boundaries for Penelope– not to pet certain areas or animals as a whole. Steve described her as an old, scraggly thing with a temper flaring unpredictably from one moment to the next. He wasn’t a cat person to begin with, growing up in a house with no animals probably started his revulsion to having fur on his clothes; but at two and a half, Penelope begged to feed the stray on their porch and she just kept coming back. 

Steve wanted a dog when he moved out, if anything at all; but in four years he’s learned more about sacrifice than any speech his parents tried to drill into his head. And Cinderella is practically Penelope’s best friend now. She sets aside birthday money for new cat toys– the crinkly ones are her favorite– and sneaks the cat through her bedroom window from time to time. She even cradles her like a baby, not without protest and the occasional scratch, of course, but Penelope knows the risk. 

“I told her Cinderella probably won’t want to come trick or treating but she can still take a picture with her at home.” 

“I told you she will want to go because there’s candy.” 

“Yes, but I told you cats can’t have candy,” Steve jabs her side lightly. 

Penelope only pouts. “That’s sad. I think she would like candy.” 

“It is,” he agrees, slotting a rogue strand of hair behind her ear. “But it makes them sick, remember? So we can’t share with Cinderella.” 

Her cheek melds with his sleeve, begrudgingly agreeing with a sigh. “Can I get my face painted?” 

Steve traces her line of sight to the ring of kids swarming the face painter. It’s not far. He can see well enough to recognize most of the children. Many are younger than Penelope too. 

But Steve hesitates, “Can you wait until I’m done eating? I’ll go with you.”

“Daddy,” she whines, pinching his arm hair. “You take forever.”

Penelope’s got magical little eyes. You don’t know how Steve ever says no. 

“I can take her,” you offer, stacking trash on your plate. “I’m done anyway.” 

“No, it’s okay.” He deflates with a sigh, curling into his ribs so he can see her face. “You can go by yourself–”

Her frown washes away just as fast as she peels herself off of his arm. 

“But! You have to come straight back when you’re done and you have to stay where I can see you. ‘Kay?” 

“‘Kay!” She beams, nearly tripping on her dress as she swings her legs over the bench and breaks into a run. 

Steve can’t hide the wobble in his smile as hard as he tries to be strong. Most of the hardships he’s faced as a parent are foreign to you, but clearly, this isn’t easy for him. 

“She’ll be fine,” you reassure with a ginger squeeze to his wrist. “We aren’t far if she needs something.” 

He nods, still locked in on Penelope. “I know, I know. I’m trying really hard not to be a helicopter parent as she gets older. It sucks though, feeling like she doesn’t need me anymore.” 

“Steve,” you deadpan, prying his attention back. “That’s… silly. You’re her dad, of course she still needs you. Maybe not all the time or as much but she’ll always need you.” 

“I dunno. I feel like she grows an inch every time I turn around. I never thought I’d say this, but I actually miss when she was in diapers. She’s cute now, but God was she cute then.” He chuckles to himself, eyes swinging from Penelope to you and then back. 

“I believe it,” you grin, admiring his girl. Her cheeks are red from the cold, like two tomatoes framing her lips. She might like to wear your jacket, you consider, but she’s so small, perhaps she’ll overheat from too many layers.

Penelope scrambles into the chair when it’s her turn, talking a mile a minute to the face painter. A funny wave of emotion roves over you. There’s affection and joy and and then something heavier and harder to describe. 

“I’ll have to show you her baby pictures sometime.” You hear the parting of a true smile. “There’s this one– it was her first birthday– I gave her a whole cake and she just demolished it. Had it in her hair and her eyelashes and in between her toes. She was so damn happy.” 

You exhale a happy hum, turning back to Steve. He’s propped on his elbows now, close enough to discern each eyelash from the next. It doesn’t startle you as much as it just scrapes the words right off your tongue. 

He’s reading you, churning, and chasing the right words all in between the blink of an eye. “We should hang out, you know? Like actually– We always talk about it but…” He shakes his head, trailing off. 

He’d let the words be carried with the wind if you wanted. It’s hard to imagine you’d say no, but people have surprised him in worse ways. Just when he thinks he knows someone, truly knows them, they cut him off like he’s no more than a dying branch. The ghosts of past someones and somethings still haunt him. It makes being so forward with you all the more difficult. 

You wear a whimsical sort of grin that you hide behind the brush of your hand, fighting your own flood of emotions. “Yeah– I mean, yeah. When?” 

Excitement flares across his features. “What are you doing on Halloween? You could come trick-or-treating with us?”

“Probably just home handing out candy– but Steve, I don’t want to intrude on Halloween. It sounds really special to Penelope.”

“You wouldn’t! No way, Penelope would be thrilled if you came. She talks about you a lot, you know?” 

“No she doesn’t,” you grin madly into your palm, peering over to her. Her face is dressed in a bright shade of orange now. With her pudgy cheeks, she reminds you of a little pumpkin. 

“She does! Swear it– on my life.” He’s not lying. He can’t hold your eyes when he lies, even about silly things. 

You huff, feeling foolishly giddy. “I don’t have time to get a costume, Steve.” 

“Nonsense. We can find you one. I’ll make it if I have to. The Tin Man and The Scarecrow are still up for grabs.” 

You swallow, washing the sudden dryness from your throat. Why does Steve have to be so damn cute and sweet all at once? “I dunno. Would it be fine if I didn’t dress up?” 

He chuckles dryly. “Penelope won’t have that, I can tell you that much. Plus if I’m going to be tortured into some itchy lion onesie I expect you’ll do the same.” He’s teasing, which is typical for you both, but it’s like you’ve forgotten how. 

“Steve.”

“Come on. If not for me, for Penelope. She’ll love it.” 

“Okay,” you settle. But you aren’t really settling. He could ask you to dress up on any other day of the year and you’d do it. 

Penelope races over– a tabby cat with long whiskers and a pastel pink nose– yelling, “Daddy, look!”

Steve beams at her like he stuck a lightbulb in his mouth, somehow brighter than before. “I see! You look so pretty, princess.” 

“I’m like Cinderella.”

“You are!” He pats her former seat beside him until she sits. 

Her long lashes flutter questioningly. 

“Nell, don’t you think we need, I dunno, like a Tinman or a Scarecrow to go with our costumes on Halloween?” 

She tracks his gaze over to you, adopting your smirk. “Are you coming trick-or-treating with us?” Her voice is uneven and bubbly with anticipation. 

“Do you want me to?” You ask genuinely. 

Penelope’s tongue wriggles in her mouth like she can’t find the proper words to express what she feels. But she nods in this bashful way against Steve’s shoulder that surprises you. 

“Are we being shy now?” Steve remarks, pulling her into his arms effortlessly to peck her hairline. 

“No,” she whines against his sweater, overjoyed to be smothered in love. Dry paint creases with her scrunched face. It’s an adorable sight. You keep wishing you had a camera on you because this is the kind of thing Steve probably puts in his photo albums. 

The moon climbs the sky quickly, draping the party in a silver veil. Many stay for the campfire and the promise of smores. But the later it gets, the crankier kids become for their parents. Penelope’s no exception, whining and clinging to Steve until he agrees to hold her. And he tries to work still, but his arms are starting to burn and stamping hayride tickets isn’t easy one-handed so he makes the hard choice to leave before cleanup. 

He feels awful, apologizing to several of his coworkers on the way out but most are too drunk on cider or too high on festive cheer to care. Besides, he’s paid a salary, doing this out of the kindness of his heart. He has no obligation to be here– you’d reminded him of that multiple times. But the festival does feel empty when they leave, even with half the town still around. 

ᯓ★

Steve lives in a quiet pocket outside of town on a curvy, secluded stretch of road. The directions he’d scrawled out on a receipt weren’t as useful as you’d hoped as one of the street names you were intended to turn on was smudged beyond legibility. But you made it, parked in front of a white house with a similarly white picket fence. Steve’s beamer is idled to your right. It’s strange seeing it somewhere that’s not the rec center. But it’s a familiar comfort between so much new. 

There’s a tire swing knotted to the oak tree in the yard, a collection of painted rocks in the pebble-lined path up to the house, and two carved pumpkins set outside the door, caving in on themselves but not yet rotting. A lot of love is shared here.  

Penelope answers the door when you knock. She’s half dressed– stockings hugging a pair of fleece leggings and a flowy pajama tank top. Her eyes outline your costume and light up with approval. 

You sport a flannel and denim overalls stuffed with prickly straw straight from the local farm, courtesy of Steve. But Penelope ogles your face paint more than anything– a stitched grin and two circles for blush. You hope it’s not scary looking. 

She doesn’t know how to let you inside– she’s not supposed to answer the door after all– so she hangs clumsily off the door handle until you ask, “Can I come in?” 

“Yes,” she teeters out of the way, closing the door behind you with a sweeping grin— the mischievous kind that makes you wonder what she’s up to.

The foyer is situated between the living room and kitchen, both of which are missing Steve. 

“Where’s your dad?” 

“Umm. Cleaning?” 

“Oh. Are you getting ready to go?”

“Yes, but I can’t find my shoes,” she makes a strangled face and shrugs with her entire wingspan.

“Do you want me to help you look?” 

She nods, “I think they’re in my closet.”

Penelope sprints up the stairs easily, leaning over the railing at the top until you hesitantly follow. You hope he won’t mind. You were technically let in. 

It reeks of chemicals upstairs. You stifle a cough and hope it’s Steve, not some science experiment in Penelope’s room. But you don’t worry long. The culprit swings around the corner, juggling several bottles of solutions and sprays. Steve would’ve barreled straight into you had you not thrust your arms out in defense, but still, all his things scatter across the floor. 

“Christ, you scared me.” He kneels, tucking a roll of paper towels against his chest. “Nell, you can’t answer the door without me.” 

“I looked in the window.”

You hand him a sanitizer and shimmy your hat back into place. It’s too big and far too floppy, sagging over your brows no matter how you situate it. Amusement draws his cheeks up as he realizes. You look ready to plop yourself in the middle of someone’s crops and he’s in a tee and jeans you might find him in any other day. His smiley-staring only makes you feel sillier. 

“The straw’s really a nice touch, huh?” Steve teases, picking a sandy stem from your collar with his free hand. He’s got that smirk you so often find on Penelope’s lips. 

You yank the strand from his grasp and poke the column of his throat with it. “I’m definitely more itchy than you’ll be.” 

His fingers encase the entirety of your fist like a shell. They’re knobby and mannish, stout against your own. But there’s a tenderness to his hold as he eases your fist away. You don’t push back, though you contemplate it. He’s never touched you for so long; he’s basically holding your hand. 

“Could’ve been the Tinman,” he says, releasing your fingers at your thigh. 

You suck in, like fuel for a reply, and exhale a breathy, nervous laugh. “And paint my entire body gray? No thanks.” 

He chuckles, eyes darting behind you. “Well, you look great. You like it, Nell?” 

You’d almost forgotten she was there. She’s quiet as a mouse when she wants to be. 

Penelope bobs her head behind you, patiently watching from the doorway to her room. “I have oh-ralls like that.” 

“You do,” Steve confirms, fidgeting with the nozzle on the disinfectant bottle. It reminds you of the smell. 

“You kill someone?” 

He stiffens. “What?” 

You flick the bottle of Windex, serious facade fading. “Smells like you’re trying to cover it up.” 

“Oh! No,” his shoulders soften, “Just a little spring cleaning… in fall.” 

You hum gaily. “I like your house.” 

“You do?” His voice is light, buoyant with relief. “I can give you a tour. A proper one.” 

“I would but I’ve promised a patient little lady I’d help her find her shoes first.”

Penelope beams when you glimpse at her. “I think they’re in my closet,” she shares with Steve. 

“I think so too,” he says, eyeing past her. “What happened to cleaning?” 

“I was but I had to find my costume first.” 

“It’ll be easier to find when your room’s clean.” He sends you a look, “Don’t let her trick you into cleaning for her. She’s sneaky.” Steve whispers the last part, loud and teasing. 

“I’m not sneaky!” 

“Mhmm. I’ll go get ready and then come help you, Nell.” 

“Then trick-or-treat?” 

“Yes,” he starts down the stairs, “Yell if you need me.” 

Penelope tows you into her room by the arm, unphased by the clinking of toys crammed behind the door. Anything in her way gets kicked or shoved aside without a second thought. It’s like her toy chest exploded, a kaleidoscope of pink and purple across the carpet. And no wonder it’s a mess; she starts chucking things out of her closet, adding to the pile spilling out like an avalanche—books, stuffed animals, barbie dolls, baby dolls, and so so many clothes. 

You squeeze by a play tent, scanning the floor. 

“They’re red and sparkly, ‘member?” Penelope calls from behind her closet doors. 

You tip a beanbag over with your foot, “I remember.” 

She babbles to herself as she looks, just like Steve does– little hums and scraps of thought that are hard to catch. It’s a funny thing, to see it translated from one human to another. 

It doesn’t take long to find the shoes, wedged underneath her bed with numerous other things. You go prone against the floor to dig them out and hold them up by the straps. “These it, Pen?” 

She gasps vibrantly. You wish you got up in time to see her face. 

“How did you know they were under there!” She shrieks, snatching them from you. 

“Just had a feeling,” you sit up properly, happily watching her slip the flats on. 

She practically twinkles, clicking her heels together like Dorothy. 

“They look stunning! You painted these?” 

“Yes,” she skips over to her dresser, shuffling through drawer after drawer. Anything folded surely isn’t anymore. 

“You’re a talented artist.” 

“I know. Daddy says.” Penelope yanks out a blue line of fabric. “My dress is so pretty. I’m going to be the prettiest Dorothy for Halloween.” 

“I know you will! You should give your dad a big hug for making such a pretty dress.” 

She buckles into the costume as fast as she can, patting the skirt down with a satisfied grin when it’s on. 

After several compliments and much debate, you’re able to convince her Dorothy would have a clean room. Penelope puts a few things away, but she’s easily distracted. And it’s hard to blame her with so many toys about. So you do most of the cleaning, but you’re happy to. It’ll make Steve happy– lest he finds out it was you– which makes you happy. 

The floor’s mostly cleared when Penelope decides Steve’s taking too long; it’s time for your house tour, with or without him. And when he doesn’t answer her shout it’s decidedly without him. She shows you downstairs first– the living room, the kitchen, the half bath, her favorite hiding spot underneath the stairs. All the while she explains her very detailed and strategic trick-or-treating plan. Staying out until midnight is the priority, she doesn’t seem to care if it’s past her bedtime, and filling several bags with candy is also high on the list. 

“And this is Daddy’s room.” She jerks the door knob several times before yelling, “Daddy!” 

“What?” Steve calls, muffled. 

“Let us in!”

“I can’t hear you– hold on!” 

Steve unlocks the door donning the promised lion onesie and a pair of sneakers. It’s ridiculous how handsome he looks even with a stupid fur collar and tail. 

“Cute,” is all you manage to say. He takes it as teasing, rolling his eyes, though you really mean it. 

“Can you help me? I can’t get my whiskers right.” He taps the cap of an eyeliner pen against his cheek where he’s drawn two lines. 

“Sure.” You take the stick and follow him through his room to the master ensuite. 

“Wait!” Penelope shouts and waves vaguely at the room. “This is Daddy’s room.”

You pause to look it over, jovially commenting, “Wow! Very nice.” 

And it is nice. There’s a rustic set of furniture striped in blue and green accents; paired well with the framed floral prints above his dresser. And the bed’s made, only slightly surprising, topped with a Care Bear’s quilt you assume is Penelope’s. 

In the bathroom, Steve leans against the counter, arms braced behind him on the sink rim. You shuffle in front of his legs, skimming knees accidentally. He has no abhorrence for physical touch, you know that for certain. He’s touchy with not just you, but everyone in the office. An arm around the shoulder, a pat on the back, a gentle squeeze to the arm– he gives these out like candy on Halloween. But even so, touching him isn’t always easy. It’s vulnerable, runs the risk of rejection. 

Steve smiles at you, ever-patient and encouraging when you stall awkwardly. 

“Sorry,” you whisper. Talking any louder feels illegal when he’s so close. You cup his jaw and steady your opposite hand against his cheek, picturing the line how you want it. 

But just when you press into his skin and flick the pen, Penelope slams a drawer shut, startling you enough to flinch. The ink slants all the way behind his ear like a jagged nail. 

You gasp and recoil, “Shit.” 

Penelope gasps twice as loud and Steve crumples into laughter, even more so when he turns to view the damage in the mirror. 

“Oops,” you chuckle nervously, thumbing at the black streak. “This washes off right?” 

“Yeah, don’t worry. I’ve redone it like four times.” 

You douse your finger in water and work the pad across his happy cheek gently. 

He’s watching you. You don’t see, just feel it in the fringe of your peripherals. It’s not like he has many places to look when you’re a hair’s breadth from his nose. But he might as well press a magnifying glass against your face, point out every pore and blemish and hair you're insecure about. 

Your cheeks burn and the beginning prickles of sweat coat your upper lip. You brushed your teeth before you arrived, but how could you forget a mint? And what about an extra layer of deodorant? That wouldn’t have hurt. You glance at Steve anxiously and his eyes jump to Penelope. For once you’re grateful not to keep his attention. 

Penelope digs through his cabinet on a quest to find nothing in particular. 

You pull away to judge your first line as Steve opens his mouth. “Nell, go get your brush and hair ties.” 

The top half of her face pops up over the cupboard door like a puppet. “But I want my hair down.” 

“I still have to brush it. And I thought you wanted the bows?” 

She considers his words– her prior words– brows pinching before she shrugs, “Okay.” The cabinet door thuds against its hinges as it claps shut, and not a second later, Steve’s bedroom door slams as Penelope charges out. 

“You would not believe how often I tell this kid not to slam the doors,” he scoffs, though it’s devoid of any real anger. 

You take his chin again, packing away a grin. You have to focus. “Don’t move,” you prompt. 

He’s relaxed in your hold. Still as a stone, maybe apart from the slight tug of his lips when you resume drawing. 

“Tickles,” he murmurs when you lift the nib. 

You print another three to match the trio on his right. It’s not bad, but you wouldn’t say it’s good. The angles are skewed weird and one’s shorter than the rest. But if he wants them any better, you might not be the best person to ask. 

“How’s that?” You draw back, searching for any smudges. 

He spins, briefly inspecting his reflection before facing you again. “Perfect! Thank you!”

Perfect is definitely a stretch. 

Steve’s a perfectionist. You’ve seen it innumerably in the office. How he’ll spend hours revising something only to ruminate on an insignificant detail after. And with Penelope, every parenting decision is subject to endless second-guessing, as if her health and happiness hinges on the smallest nuances. 

But as much as he’s a perfectionist, Steve would never judge you in the same way he might himself. Your whiskers truly are perfect in his eyes, not for the shape or size, but because you drew them– wonky and all. 

The ink warps around his smile. You study his face under the guise of checking your work. Steve’s a handsome guy. An inviting kind of handsome, with shallow laugh lines and the start of stubble stippled across his jaw.  

“Wait,” you square his shoulders, brushing the nape of his neck to reach for his hood. The lion’s mane is laid gently over the top of his hair. 

“Now it’s perfect.” 

He smirks. “Sexy, huh?”

“Should leave this unzipped a little. The cougars will love that.” 

Steve laughs, harder than you think you’ve ever heard him. It’s so contagious even Penelope joins your hysterics when she returns, though she hasn’t a clue what you’re laughing about. 

“What’s so funny?” Penelope lurches into his legs with a handful of hair things. 

“We just think my costume’s kinda silly. Here, baby.” Steve heaves her onto the counter and props her right in between the sinks. 

Her dress pours over her crossed legs like a layered cake, baby blue and white gingham. Steve really did a great job with the stitching; you can’t even tell it was done by hand. And Penelope hasn’t complained about the fit once so it must be comfortable too. 

“Face forward please,” Steve reminds gently for a third time when Penelope twists her neck to speak. 

Penelope frowns at his reflection. “You’re pulling too tight.”

“Sorry. You have to stop moving though.” 

There’s a mild curve to his lips. He’s not aggravated with her fidgeting, in fact, quite the opposite. Maybe because you’re around, he’s in too good of a mood to spoil with something as trivial as his daughter's hair. But regardless, it’s endearing as it is entertaining to care for Penelope. He loves being a dad, even when it’s frustrating. And you can see the love as he braids her hair– how he cards through knots from the ends up and slowly sections off pieces to tackle one at a time. 

“I’m not moving.” Her chin droops as she scratches the polish from her nails. 

Steve cups her jaw, steering it back up. “You are, monkey.” 

“Monkey?” She chortles, seeking your gaze in the mirror to see if you also find the nickname funny. 

“Yeah,” Steve murmurs, seizing the rubber band from between his teeth. “Monkeys move a lot.” 

“Do they have tails?”

“Mhmm.”

“You have a tail 'cause you’re a lion.” 

Steve hums and bends back, evaluating his performance. “There. You look so gorgeous, Penelope.” 

And he really has done a great job, especially with all her wiggles. Steve takes a lot of pride in styling his hair– much of his confidence derives from it. And he tries to extend that care to Penelope; to teach her how gorgeous she is and that she deserves to be nurtured. 

Penelope shakes her head disapprovingly. “I’m Dorothy now, Dad.” 

“Oh, sorry.” Steve turns toward you instinctually, happy to catch your smile. 

“You look very very pretty, Miss Dorothy,” you correct. 

She slides off the counter, aided by Steve’s hand. “Can we go now?” 

Penelope waits patiently in the foyer for Steve to gather everything needed to leave. This lasts for all of about ten minutes before Penelope is halfway out the front door, too excited to wait any longer. 

“Wait, Nell!” Steve shouts from beside you in the kitchen. 

You’re choosing snacks and filling water bottles. Steve doesn’t really need to pack a bag for Penelope anymore, she’s a year and a half past diapers, but he likes to feel prepared. 

When Penelope doesn’t answer, he meets her on the porch to explain, “I’m almost done. And we still have to take pictures.” 

“I don’t wanna. I’m ready to leave.” 

“Well, we aren’t leaving until I get a picture of Dorothy.” 

She sighs, lugging herself back inside like she’s got bricks for shoes. “What about Cinderella?” 

“Go and look– get the treats.” 

She scrambles into the kitchen, snagging a jar of cat treats from the counter quickly. You shoulder the backpack and follow her out. Steve joins you not long after, two flashlights and several glowsticks in hand. 

“No Cinderella?” Steve asks, unzipping the bag pressed to your back to stock with more things. 

“No,” Penelope pouts, vigorously shaking the jar in the air. “How can I be Dorothy without Toto.” 

He yanks the zipper back up, then pats her head, “Keep calling. Where’s your jacket?”

“I don’t need it.”

“You will. It’s gonna get cold later. When it’s dark.” 

“It’ll mess up my costume. Dorothy doesn’t wear one.” 

“Let's bring it, just in case. I’ll carry it.” 

Steve jogs back inside, coming out this time with a camera around his neck, a jacket over his shoulder, and a plushie in hand. 

“Here,” he sets a blue stuffed dog on Penelope’s lap. “Backup Toto.” 

Penelope glares up at him, insulted. “This isn’t Toto.” 

“I know. But if we wait for Cinderella we might not have time for trick-or-treating. Why don’t we bring the treats? See if she’s started without us?” 

Penelope deflates, stuffing the dog in her wicker basket. 

“Can I take your picture now?”

“Why, Daddy?” 

“So I can remember how beautiful you look tonight.” 

A petulant bow creases her lips as she peers up. Round, sullen eyes connect with his. 

Steve squats in front of her, taking her much smaller free hand in his. “I know you’re sad about Cinderella but she’d still want you to have fun, right? And she might show up later. I just want to get a picture now so I don’t forget.” 

Penelope nods and Steve kisses her forehead, standing and backing up a few paces. 

“Smile, baby. Please?” He blinks at her through the viewfinder. 

She offers a strangled face– more of a toothy open mouth than a smile; not even close to wide enough to round her cheeks or crescent her eyes like the real deal. But it’s funny and just as cute. Steve snaps a photo and the expression drains from her face as fast as the camera’s flash.

You wander behind Steve and her eyes flick to you. You try funny faces first, frowning so deep your jaw aches, pulling the tip of your nose up like a pigs, winking terribly, but none of it works. Your fingers arch into bunny ears behind Steve’s hair and you stick your tongue out at the back of his head, but still, no dice. 

You have a really awful idea. You’re pretty sure you might die of embarrassment. But it’s worth it to get Penelope to smile. 

“Hey, Penelope? Remember when you told me dinosaurs are silly?” 

She nods. 

“Well, I have a really good dinosaur impression. Can I show you?” 

She nods again, equally jaded. 

You take a deep breath and shake your head, mentally preparing yourself and simultaneously erasing Steve from existence for the moment. A feral screech erupts from the back of your throat, the kind of sound you didn’t know for sure you could make. 

Steve buckles in his crouch, barely catching himself on the pavement with his free hand. A chorus of emotions ripple his features. He’s shocked and then amused and finally focused on capturing the picture, but what resonates the most is a fondness for you. 

You cup a hand over your mouth, rendering a string of different noises, inspired by several animals because what the hell does a dinosaur sound like anyway? You haven’t the faintest clue at the moment.   

Penelope fuses her lips together, unbreaking. 

“Come on Nell, I see that smile,” Steve rallies. 

But she doesn’t give up easy. She’s like Steve in that way. 

As a last resort, you press your lips to your mouth, blowing a raspberry and screwing your face in disgust. “Oh my God, Steve! Did you just fart?” 

He gapes at you, then Penelope, tickled and tongue-tied for comebacks. He can’t think straight, not when you’re making a delightful fool out of yourself, on his behalf, especially. As far as he’s concerned, Penelope’s smiling now or at least failing awfully at hiding it. So he takes several photos of her as she unravels into a giggly heap on the driveway. 

Certainly one of them is photo-album-worthy, but you continue your stunts anyway. “Goodness, what did you eat today?” You backpedal a few steps, fanning the surrounding air, partially to hide your own laugh. “Penelope do you smell that?” 

“Ew! Daddy!” 

You aren’t sure if Penelope actually believes you or if she just wants to join the fun but either way, she’s convincing. 

“I didn’t do it!” Steve defends, dropping the camera on its sling and raising his hands in surrender. “I think it was Penelope this whole time.” 

You gasp. “Penelope!” 

“I didn’t!” She cries, shaking her head aggressively. “I promise, I didn’t!” 

“I dunno. The closer I get the more stinky it smells.” Steve slinks up to her with outstretched hands that threaten tickles. 

She screams when he snatches her up, swearing up and down, “I didn’t, Daddy!” 

He’s well-practiced at being the tickle monster; knows every sensitive strip of skin to target. She was doomed from the start. Giggles spill out in jagged layers punctuated with gasps of air. Steve tickles her all the way down the driveway to the car, out of breath himself by the time he sets her on the trunk. 

Penelope deliriously eyes his hands where they rest on the beamer. 

“You ready to go trick-or-treating, Little Miss Dorothy?” You ask. 

She nods, dimples deepening with mirth.

“Here. Will you start it?” Steve fishes his keys out of his pocket and tosses them to you. “Come on, pretty girl.” 

She slides into her car seat happily, bouncing with excitement as he buckles her in. Steve’s told you before it’s not always so easy. 

“I really didn’t fart,” Penelope says. 

He chuckles, sewing a kiss to her cheek, “I know, baby. We’re just kidding.” 

Steve settles into the driver’s seat, depositing the stack of developed polaroids in your lap. You shuffle through as he backs out, flashing him your favorites; the best is one where she’s planted a hand on her hip and is rolling her eyes. You adore this little drama queen more and more every day. 

The drive’s only a few minutes, just to a denser part of the neighborhood to avoid long stretches with no houses. Steve parks against an empty grass lot behind another car. This area’s already bustling with kids which adds to Penelope’s anticipation. 

“Daddy, look– it’s Minnie Mouse!” 

Steve inspects the crowd through the window. “Yeah, you remember when you were Minnie Mouse?” 

“I was?” 

“Mhmm. You had ears and I painted your face. You were little.” He unbuckles, grabbing the backpack stashed at your feet. 

“Oh. Am I still little?” 

He pauses to melt, just to himself and only a bit. It’s too early to be sentimental– a long night of fun awaits. Steve cranes over his seat to see her face. “Yes, you’re still little. But you’re growing a lot. I think you might be as tall as me, one day.” 

“Nooo,” she giggles, waving her foot at him. 

“I dunno,” he sing-songs back, squeezing her shoe before turning back around. 

Steve distributes a handful of glowsticks, shoving a few extra in Penelope’s basket. You guys start down the block as the sun sinks below the treeline, more than enough time to complete Penelope’s plan which she reminds you of. She takes Steve’s hand, then yours, and it strikes you suddenly how much you appear as a family to outsiders. It’s not an unwelcome feeling, just a strange one. 

At the first house, Penelope knocks hard and declares to the elderly woman who answers, “Trick or treat!” She repeats it, insisting with wide eyes that she deserves two pieces of candy for her double effort. And the woman can’t resist her charm, obliging with a handful of pieces. Steve jokes it off, calls her a bargainer, but you gawk at the interaction. 

At the second house, she points to you and Steve, arguing you deserve candy too since you’re both in costume. And it works, scoring you each a piece that ends up in her tote anyway. By the third, you can’t keep a straight face, her antics are hilariously cute and you compliment Steve for raising such a little mastermind. 

You fall into a routine steadily, loafing along the road with Steve while Penelope trots up to each house. 

“Last year she was Snow White and the year before a cat,” Steve explains when you ask. 

“She likes princesses’.” 

“Less so now but yeah. She used to say she wanted to be a princess when she grew up.” 

“Can’t blame her.” You watch her fondly from afar. She picks a piece of candy off the ground and debates before tossing it in with the others. “What does she wanna be now?” 

“Changes all the time. Last it was a detective.” He beckons Penelope over. “Nell, what do you want to be when you grow up?” 

She fiddles with her basket handle. You’ve done two streets and it’s almost full. You're starting to think you’ll have to buy a pillowcase off of someone.

“Umm… Can I be a trick-or-treater?” 

“What!” Steve flips her braid over her shoulder, “That’s just for one day, goofball.” 

“Well… then,” she hums, squinting at the surrounding swarm of characters and creatures. “Maybe a pirate?” 

You and Steve share a look of amusement. You do that a lot now. It’s instinctual. Finding each other's eyes, even in a room full of people it’s easy. Sometimes there’s just too much joy not to share. 

“Daddy, how many houses are left?” 

“There’s quite a few on this street. You tired?” 

“No. Can I see? I want to count.” 

She doesn’t seem tired to you but Steve’s able to read her with the tiniest details. It’s like he’s got superpowers sometimes– dad superpowers. But maybe he’s just guessing, it’s getting closer to bedtime.

Steve boosts her onto his shoulders with a hefty groan about “getting old” which you bicker over because he’s only twenty-six. 

Penelope counts eleven houses, eight with lights on, but buzzes about a particular home illuminated with rainbow LEDs and a giant spider. And it’s even cooler than she described up close, mansion-like, decked out with spotlights and decorations taller than you and Steve combined.

A motionless clown holds a bloody bucket of candy outside. Their decorations are so extravagant, it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s fake. But you’re pretty sure the clown just blinked and you make sure Steve’s aware of that, not that he was letting Penelope go alone anyway. 

Steve scoops Penelope up before she gets very far up the driveway despite her complaints. 

“I’m not scared, Daddy,” she assures. And there’s nothing that tells you she is– she’s just as cheery and bright-eyed as before. 

“I know, princess.” He rubs her arm, scanning for other statues with the potential to come alive. “I’m kinda scared, though.” 

She tips her head at him, puzzled because it’s always the other way around. But her arms coil around his neck, a loving press of affection that she learned from him. 

And whether he’s actually afraid to be jumpscared or just subconsciously ingraining in her that it’s okay if she is, you aren’t really sure. Probably both, and either way, it warms your insides. 

The clown cocks its head slowly when Penelope reaches in the bowl. 

She cocks her head back, innocently amused. “Trick-or-treat?” 

The clown nods, pushing the bowl toward her. 

Steve sags just a hair but remains very much on high alert. 

You mouth your appreciation— “Thanks.” Thanks for not scaring my coworker-friends-child who I’ve grown really fond of and would hate to see cry. 

“Daddy, can we go in there?” Penelope points to a tunnel opening, fringed with black streamers and flashing lights– some sort of haunted house walk-through that wraps around the home. 

“No, baby. That’s for big kids.” 

She spots a group of teenagers exit the other side, screaming, laughing, and doubling over each other into the grass. 

“I really wanna go– please, I’ll be so brave. I’m not even scared,” she pleads, flashing him a wobbly frown. 

But there’s no expression she could pull right now that would change his mind, not when he hears a chainsaw buzzing inside. She could throw herself on the ground and kick and cry and he’d still refuse. He knows enough kids that have been traumatized by horror-movie-type creatures and characters; he’ll be damned if his daughter becomes one of them. 

Penelope sulks for a few houses but she has loads more candy to collect and decides not to waste her time for too long. 

“Can you hold this?” She thrusts her basket toward Steve. It’s overflowing at this point; you’ve all started cramming candy in your pockets, hoping it’s cold enough outside that nothing melts. Steve’s been beating himself up for three blocks for forgetting the backpack in the car. 

“Sure,” he says, retracting his hand from his pocket.

But before he takes it, you joke, “Better keep an eye on him. He might eat some when you’re not lookin’.”

Penelope studies him for a long moment before shifting the bag toward you. 

“Penelope! You don’t really believe that do you?” He scoffs, breathily laughing.

You cackle as she shrugs and sprints to the next house. 

Steve bumps your shoulder, snaking a hand in the basket to steal a pack of M&Ms off the top. “Blowin’ my whole operation.” 

“Steve,” you scold and bump him back. “Don’t get me in trouble.” 

“She won’t notice.” He waves you off, tearing the wrapper with his teeth. “But if she does I’m saying it was you.” 

You whack his arm, glowing bright as the moon, “Asshole.” 

Penelope doesn’t complain about her feet aching once the whole night and you know they probably do because yours started hurting forever ago. Surely she gets some kid-sized Oscar for that. And Steve being the great dad he is offers to carry her on the way back to the car anyway. 

“Daddy?” 

Steve hums, hoisting her up where she slips. 

“Can we go trick or treating tomorrow?”

He glances at you, confirming you also hear this cuteness. “No, baby. Tomorrow’s not Halloween.”

“I know, but we should still go. I bet lots of people still have candy. Like, leftovers.” She yawns into his shoulder where his fur hood has been tugged down to warm his neck and double as a makeshift pillow. 

“Don’t you have enough candy?”

“No. I need more Reese’s for you.”

“You’re gonna give them to me?”

“Only some. I like them too.” 

“That’s kind of you.” 

Her eyes are half-lidded and struggling, but she’s still awake as Steve stows her into her car seat. She chatters sluggishly to keep herself up and you and Steve entertain it; it’ll make bedtime easier if she doesn’t fall asleep in the car. Perhaps handing her a pack of Smarties was overkill because apparently, it has enough sugar to wire her longer than the five-minute drive home. 

No slower than Steve can lock the front door, Penelope dumps the contents of her bag on the floor. A bouquet of candy wrappers, big and small, enough to last her months if she’s patient. 

“You can have five more pieces tonight.” 

Penelope smirks at Steve before he’s even finished. “Ten?” 

“Six. But you have to brush your teeth for twice as long.” Before she can rebuttal he shakes his head. “Final offer.” 

“Fine,” she huffs, combing through her pile. She sorts them into categories while Steve prepares her bath. It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown is already on– Steve has a bad habit of forgetting to turn the TV off when he leaves– but you find the remote when Penelope asks you to turn the volume up. 

“You can have these,” she announces, pushing a chunk of her goodies toward you. It’s mostly things she doesn’t like: twizzlers and dark chocolate and anything with peanuts. But she did sneak in one of your favorites you’d mentioned earlier that night. She really is a sweetheart. 

“Thank you, Penelope. That’s very nice of you.” 

“These are for Daddy,” she points to a second pile, smacking loudly on the gummy bear she just decapitated. “He loves chocolate but he got a cavity once because he ate too much.” 

“Are you talking about me?” Steve hollers, clambering down the stairs two at a time. 

“No?” Penelope giggles. 

His hands snap to his hips once he treks into the living room. “Alright, it’s bath time then bedtime Miss Dorothy.”

Penelope looks utterly betrayed. She’s only eaten three things and– “It’s not even late yet,” she whines. 

He pretends to check his watch, “It is.” 

It’s not but she can’t tell time yet. 

“Can we watch Oz, Daddy, please? There’s no school tomorrow, ‘member?”

“We watched it last night, peanut. Why don’t we watch a Halloween movie?” 

Peanut, pumpkin, princess, he calls her all sorts of cute things. Is it wrong to wish he called you cute things too? 

“I wanna watch Oz. I’m Dorothy so we have to.” She drags out the last syllable until she runs out of breath. 

Penelope’s over-tired. Delirious and whiny and easily hysterical when she doesn’t get her way. And it’s not that Steve thinks he should give in when she’s like this, he’s just tired too. And you’re here and it’s the weekend so what will one movie really do? He can guarantee she’ll fall asleep during it anyway. 

“Okay. Only if you’re super-duper fast in the bath.”

She shouts and whizzes upstairs. 

Steve diverts his attention to you, “You wanna stay? I can make popcorn.” 

Of course, you’d love to stay, and not just for the promise of popcorn, but you’re afraid if you do, you’ll never want to leave. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He makes a face– a ridiculously lovely one. “Go sit. We’ll be quick.” 

They aren’t quick but there are photo albums on the coffee table that you’re happy to look through in the meantime. You flick through beats of their life like stills of a movie. There are baby photos, school pictures, movie stubs, plane tickets, and several people you don’t know the names of. It’s weird– getting snippets of things about them you had no idea of. You’re filling the gaps as you go. 

Penelope returns first, frolicking her way to the entertainment center in fresh pajamas. She’s on a mission by the looks of it, making a mess of the VHS collection in the cabinet. By the time Steve arrives, most of the films are splayed across the carpet. 

“Oz is already in, silly goose. We watched it yesterday remember?” 

Penelope drops the tape in her hands, “Oh.” 

Steve hunches over her, slotting the films away one by one. She doesn’t help much, but he doesn’t seem to mind. 

Penelope clambers onto the couch beside you and Steve beside her. It’s a long sectional, enough room for several others. But Penelope scoots in right beside you so you're hip to hip. And Steve makes himself comfortable more in the middle cushion than the farthest. 

His onesie has been traded for sweats and his whiskers scrubbed away– though a faded, gray smear crosses his jawline. You consider telling him, or licking your thumb and scratching it away yourself, but it makes you feel less weird to be the only one still in costume so you let it stay. 

“I like these,” you tug the cotton pant leg of Penelope’s outfit. It’s a matching set, frilly and plaid with a black cat stamped to the torso.

She tucks her lower lip away sheepishly and pushes her crown into your shoulder. Her hair's damp, soaking your sleeve cold, but you fawn at the affection more than anything. 

“Did you find that picture? From her first birthday? I think it’s in there.” Steve gestures toward the closed album in your lap with the remote but remains glued to the TV. 

“No, I didn’t finish looking.”

“I wanna see,” Penelope arches over your legs, prying the book open. 

Steve rewinds the film to the start and pauses it so he can look too. 

You thumb the plastic sheet over a recent image of Penelope scrunching her nose at the camera, a riot of stickers across her face. 

“RoRo!” She taps the photo beside it. It’s a haphazard blur, most likely captured by Penelope; you make out the shape of Steve first, then the less angular, slightly shorter person– a woman, RoRo. You think Penelope’s mentioned her before but nothing about the picture rings any bells. 

“Mhmm. That’s Robin. Remember this was at the airport?” 

“Is that when we got pizza?” 

“Yeah!” Steve rubs her arm. “You have a good memory.”  

You turn the page, revealing a set of grainy, blue-tinted photos from the same roll of film. Steve looks young for his age now, but he looked like a baby then. Strangely though when there’s an actual infant in his arms. He was thinner then but even softer in the face. Not unhappy, per se, but maybe missing a lightness he has now.  

“This was on my twenty-third birthday,” he explains. “Look how little you were!”

“Did I eat cake?” 

“No, you were too young, baby.” He chuckles, pointing to another photo. “You tried a banana for the first time in this one.”

“I like bananas.”

“You didn’t used to.” 

Steve and Penelope share slices of their pasts fondly. You study the photos, compare these reflections to the people you find yourself next to. There’s an unexpected pinch in your chest– not getting the chance to know these versions of them, it makes you sad. But it’s a happy sort of sad. You’re grateful to know them now. 

Penelope begs to flip through another album but Steve decides it’ll be too late to finish The Wizard of Oz if they do. His true reluctance stems from how emotional the first one made him– though you’ll pretend not to notice for his sake. 

Steve bets Penelope an extra Reeses that she’ll fall asleep by the time Dorothy meets the scarecrow. It’s unfair, really. You tell Penelope not to pinky promise it but she does. And she loses awfully, yawning within five minutes and startling herself awake within ten. You scoff when Steve starts carding through her hair– her guaranteed snooze switch. It’s evil and you tell him so. So of course, that finishes her off long before Scarecrow makes an appearance; she curls into Steve’s side and digs a heel into yours. Poor girl never stood a chance. 

“She had a lot of fun tonight,” Steve utters. It’s alarming at first, how his voice eclipses the TV like there isn’t a child snoring against his stomach. But she doesn’t stir. He knows she won’t. 

“Did you?” You ask, skating between a whisper and not. 

“Very much. You?” 

“Mhmm. Loads,” you answer without hesitation. It’s possibly the easiest question anyone’s ever asked you. “I think Penelope’s right.”

He quirks an eyebrow against the front of the couch. His cheek is sinking further into the cotton like he might fall asleep. 

“We should go trick-or-treating tomorrow too.” 

His lips wane into a soft smile. If he wasn’t so drained he might laugh too. “What should we be? Penelope has a strict no-repeat costume rule.” 

You hum, scraping your memory for the best costumes you’d seen. There were Power Rangers and Ghostbusters and several Batmen with their Catwomen. But the image of one young family sticks out the most in your mind. A young pair of parents with their son and daughter decked in moody black and white. 

“Addams family?” 

“Who’s who?” 

“She’s Wednesday. Obviously.”

Steve chuckles, accidentally too loud and Penelope twitches against his thigh. He draws her against his chest readily and strokes her spine with the back of his hand. “Obviously,” he whispers. 

“You’re Morticia and I’m Gomez, though.” 

“Oh?”

“Yeah. She’s tall and pretty. Strong jawline, kinda sassy. I think you’ll make it work.” 

You’re flirting. You know you are as soon as you say it. And you don’t mean to, it just happens; the words come intuitively as blinking. Your brain does all sorts of crazy things around Steve. 

“You think I’m pretty?” He’s smiling hard. You can’t tell if he’s serious or not. 

“Pretty sassy, yeah,” you deflect. It’s a safer truth than admitting you do think he’s pretty. 

He rolls his eyes. “My mom says Nell gets her attitude from me. Says it’s payback for how I was as a child.” 

You gawk emphatically. “Were you a bad kid Steve Harrington?”

“I wasn’t bad– just needed attention I think.” 

You hum. It’s a little surprising since you know Steve’s an only child to wealthier parents. You’d pegged him to be spoiled in both money and attention.

“Are you close with your parents?”

He shakes his head, “Not really. Talk every now and then.”

“Sorry.” 

“Don’t be. I came to terms with it a while ago. Even more after she was born.” He skims his lips against Penelope’s head. “I can’t imagine not being in her life. You know, not really knowing her? Not knowing her favorite things or when she’s hurting or what she’s up to every second of the day. I don’t think that’ll ever change.”  

“She’ll be so grateful to have that kind of relationship when she’s older.” 

“Yeah, maybe. Like way older.” His shoulders droop as he sighs, “She already thinks I’m smothering her. Wouldn’t hold my hand yesterday because she’s ‘too big’ she said.” 

“Already?” You laugh.

“I know!” He groans. “I almost cried.” 

“She loves you. Kids just show it in strange ways.” 

“Yeah… She forced me to hold a slug last week.” 

“You held it?” 

“I had to! She was so excited to give it to me.”

“Aww. You’re a good dad.” 

Steve's eyes caper down and his cheeks pinken. “I’m trying to be.” 

Apart from the movie and an occasional sleep sigh from Penelope, silence swallows the room. It’s a comfortable silence; the kind you only get around people you’ve known forever; It feels like you’ve known Steve your entire life. You have to remind yourself it’s only been a few months. Remind yourself this is the first time you’ve ever even hung out. 

You find yourself drifting to the future. A future, with Steve and Penelope. Vacations and school events and hiking trips and movie nights and so much more. It’s silly. It makes your heart want to rip itself from your chest. 

Steve clears his throat. Your fantasy is only partially dissolved. “I’m gonna take her upstairs. Put her to bed.” 

You lean forward and press into your knees, gearing to stand. “Okay. I should get going. It’s late.” 

“Stay for a minute. I’ll walk you out.”

You have no reason to decline but even if you did, you aren’t sure you would be able to. Saying no to Steve is as hard as saying no to Penelope. They have the same puppy-dog eyes– brown and soft as sun-baked clay. That must be it. 

Steve strains to stand with the added weight. He’s strong but Penelope’s four now and having growth spurts like there’s a race to be the tallest kid in school. She clings to him instinctually, slotting her face into his neck like it was sculpted specifically to be her pillow. Her gangly legs sway against his thighs as he slowly climbs the stairs and disappears onto the landing.  

You don’t notice Steve’s return. He’s much quieter than before, taking softer steps and more calculated movements. He doesn’t have the buffer of his body heat to soothe Penelope back to sleep if she wakes. The palm on your shoulder startles you. 

He whispers an apology from behind the couch, voice sweet and buttery as caramel. You let him guide you the short distance to the front door– expecting it to end there– but he presses into a pair of laced sneakers thrown beside the entry table. 

The night’s chill is jolting, even in your coat. It’s easy to forget the months are slipping into winter when Steve’s around. He radiates warmth, not just in sun-kissed skin and honeyed eyes, but in his tone and his touches and every aspect of his spirit. And it bleeds like a fire. Brushes your cheeks like flames and stirs perpetually in your belly like magma. 

He walks you the entire length of his driveway to your car. Probably would’ve opened the door for you if you didn’t beat him to it. 

“Thank you for inviting me Steve,” you say, lingering in the threshold of your open door. 

“Thank you for coming. I’m really happy you came. So is Penelope.” 

“As much as I am looking forward to The Addams Family next year, we should plan something… maybe a little sooner?” 

“Mmm. Let me check my schedule first,” he teases, rapping his fingers against the roof of your car. 

“Whatever, boss-man.”

You still don’t get in. There’s a stretch of silence, not awkward, just a placeholder for when the right words come. And they don’t. Not tonight anyway. You could hug him? Peck his cheek? Pat his back as he might yours? 

You settle for a safe and simple tight-lipped smile. He appreciates it just the same. 

“See you Friday?” He asks. 

“See you then.” 

Steve guides the door closed after you settle in. He waits until your taillights have completely fizzled out in the shadows of his street to stroll back up to his house. 

He thinks of you as he locks the front door and again as he finds your hat on the sectional and a third time as he slips under his sheets. Steve isn’t sure what to do. He feels sick. His heart is hammering and his gut twists itself in knots like it does when he’s afraid. He hasn’t quite figured out what about you is so scary but how can he possibly wait until Friday to find out?