#crackship thoughts

[fancyfearful]

Crackship so good, you spend hours scouring websites shadowbanned by the government just to collect every image you can find. So good, you put those same images into a blender to be liquified so that it can be easily injected directly into your veins like Bane from Batman. So good, you put them in a bowl, grind them into a fine powder, pour them out onto a table and meticulously separate them into fine lines with a jet black credit card before snorting each row, leaving you a jittery mess with irises the size of saucers while you experience pure, genuine euphoria. So good the mere thought of them has your body reacting as if you've had three back to back expresso shots and your brain and body are both wired on pure adrenaline. So good, that you'd put yourself in the dirtiest, most unsanitary alleyway, to give the most intense "gawk-gawk-never-stop-soul-sucking-sloppy-top" to the shadiest individual to ever grace the planet, all in exchange for a single, low quality, poorly cropped, heavily watermarked image of these 2 characters walking past each other...

[nicktoonsunite]

got your back

[rollersfataft]

"And THEN I told him that the only thing worse than a beta male was a gamma male, but he wasn't listening so whatever"

[dapper-lil-arts]

Memes sometimes come to me by divine intervention. I just post them

[superbellsubways]

crackship with my own characters yepppp

lol

[eatyourmaker]

We pissing off two fandoms with this one boys 😎

(spare me)

[radiance1]

The League tried to interrupt a summoning of a powerful being from the Infinite Realms. From the information they collected, the being isn't of the status of a royalty, but they still had to be careful as the being the summoners tried to call forth was still of noble status.

They failed.

The head cultist finished the ritual, the last words to finish the summoning left their tongue and the room was suddenly doused in heat, as black flame came to life from within the circle, twisting and turning, back and forth until a pair of red eyes suddenly flashed from inside the twisting pillar of flame and just as suddenly as the eyes appeared, was the pillar broken apart.

What was left behind was the figure of a giant phoenix, wings spread as embers black as night gently fell down to the floor below and suddenly disappearing, as if they were never there in the first place.

"Who dares to disturb-" The being started, eyes scanning the crowd below before stilling, extremely and worryingly quiet. One of them quietly cursed. "Constantine..." The creature's voice was low, dangerously low, no doubt anger in its voice as it called out the Warlock's name.

Everyone tensed, expecting something dangerous, except for the cultists, and the Head, who turned his head towards them and smiled, obviously expecting them to be reduced to not even ash.

"100 years. One. Hundred. Years." The being spoke, and confusion wormed its way into the hearts of all those present. "100 years I have waited for you, and when we finally meet once again it's not even you summoned me but these-" The creature waved a wing at the cultist below. "-These fatuous and vacuous little things."

"And what is this? You surrounded yourself with those not even of human birth before you have even thought about me?" The noble's eyes narrowed. "Did our relationship mean nothing to you?

Someone, probably not Constantine, choked.

"Well then, after all of this time you can at least make yourself useful." In a flash of black fire, Constantine was brought from within the ranks of heroes and in front of the beast, a man who seemed to be trying to-and unsuccessfully- lighting a smoke. "Ah, why do that when you have me?" The being purred, bending down to apparently light a smoke before freezing, as if remembering what exactly it was doing, but the action was already done, and Constantine was killing his lungs away.

The phoenix snapped back up to standing above everyone else, clearing its throat as if what happened decidedly didn't happen.

"What exactly did you want me to be useful for, love?" Constantine asked, expelling the smoke from his lungs and deciding that this might as well be happening. The noble huffed, folding its wings at its sides as it stared down at its apparent lover. "Take care of our son for once in your sad, pathetic life."

This time, not only did Constantine choke, but a good chunk of people there did as well. Constantine ran a hand through his hair, looking up at the phoenix incredulously. "Aren't we both men?"

The phoenix looked at his lover as if he were stupid. "Your point?"

"I-" Constantine sighed, took a breath, held, then expelled more smoke from his lungs. Apparently, he decided not to question anything anymore. "You know what? Sure, where is the little bugger?"

Over the next few moments, both the Justice League and Cultists were treated to the noble transforming into a human (still having wings) and handing over their apparent child-who looked nothing like them by being a dragon, but who were they to question the apparent reproduction of a being from the Infinite Realms- and being lectured about what not to do and what to do and how he should be cared for.

Also, a warning for his many powers.

Then the Duke stole a kiss (One that he claimed was long overdue) and left.

The room was silent, only the sounds of breathing occupying the room as the temperature was brought back down to normal levels.

A moment later, Batman walked up to the nearby cultist and punched him across the face and knocking him out cold, suddenly reminding everyone what exactly they were here for.

A while later, in the meeting room, everyone looked at Constantine. Who had a baby eastern dragon wrapped around one arm (who was apparently his child) and rubbing his temple with the other.

"I can't explain this."

===

Danny was actually not Constantine kid, neither was he Vlad's. Biologically, at the very least, however. Vlad did adopt both him and Jasmine a while back after their whole parent fiasco.

They're dead, sadly unable to become ghosts, or perhaps not so sadly.

Of course, they unfortunately outlived Jasmine, which was to be expected, but Vlad and Danny did grow close enough that they no longer viewed each other as enemies.

However, who could have expected that Danny, finally ascending to his princely status, would turn him back into a literal child because he was, for all intents and purposes, one by Dragon standards.

Utter malarkey, he would say.

Taking care of that boy was the worst few memories he has ever had. He was constantly being kept from his sleep, his work being interrupted constantly, and the child managed to find a way to leave his sight at each and every turn.

But there were some sweet moments, he would say.

It's only reasonable, however, that his lover (who he hasn't seen for an entire century might he add) share the workload.

[fresh-outta-earthbread]

toxic yaoi

[mangosundae]

Ford meets his new brother in law.

[dotted-clouds]

Volo and N would be Toxic Yaoi

[catindabag]

TBOSAS CRACK! TAKE: ✨HIMBO CORYO SNOW✨

⭐️❄️⭐️

So I was drinking and talking with my friends about TBOSAS yesterday and I remember one of them joking and saying something about how the story would’ve been so much different if Coryo Snow had the same ✨goofball energy✨ as Tom Blyth (his actor).😂

I think I choked on my drink on that one, ‘cuz imagine thee Coriolanus Snow (Le Poor Cabbage Boy) with the same himbo goofball energy and carefree attitude as Tom Blyth. The Hunger Games would’ve died right there and then. Heck! Dr. Gaul would rather feed herself to her mutts or die from aneurysm than consider Himbo!Coryo as her apparent heir and apprentice.

Also, Dean Highbottom would probably be too busy dying inside whenever he sees a happy Coryo Snow smiling and skipping like an idiot while hanging out with his genuine BFF, Sejanus Plinth.🤣

Dean Highbottom be like:

Casca: *is drunk AF* Oh Panem, why am I even here? Just to suffer-

Coryo: ✨Good morning✨❤️, Sir! I hope you’re having a great day today. *waves like an idiot*😊

Casca: Fml. The bane of my existence is here again.😩

Coryo: My dear friend Sejanus gave me some chocolate cookies earlier. Do you want to try one, Sir? They’re very delicious~.🥰

Casca: *dumbfounded* How the heck are you even Crassus Xanthos Snow’s son?!

Coryo: Well, people say that I look like him. So yeah, I am his son.😀

Casca: No you ain’t! You’re too nice and too happy to be his! So you must’ve been adopted!

Coryo: But sir, I really am his son.🥺

Casca: Please just tell me you were adopted-

Coryo: But sir-

Casca: Look me in the eye and tell me you hate me! Please, I beg you!!😭🔪

Coryo: Sejanus! Sej, help! The Dean is drunk again! He’s saying weird things to me!

Sejanus: I’m on my way, my love- I mean, ✨bestie✨!😘

[mashmoshmoosh]

NEW ARCANE CRACKSHIP JUST DROPPED

Ambessa x Caitlyn enthusiasts wya⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

[q--uee--n]

"That ship doesn't make any sense" "They've never/barely interacted." And it's like highkey I do not care. What happened to fun? What happened to whimsy? The art of the crack ship? We used to be a proper society, me thinks.

[hatredmadeofgold]

These two are so similar and yet so different and I could write essays about it... also they should kiss.

[cosmicourple]

hnnnn,,,, Wetthunderthighs hot spring sex. Hnhhhh,,-

[jelloteeth]

Hear me out on this, G1 Starscream x IDW Tailgate