#crack!fic inspo

[psychic-refugee]

Xavier, sometimes professionally known as X, is the hottest male model on the runway.

YSL literally shed blood and made a deal with the devil to gain sole rights for him to walk their shows.

Considered a model prodigy, he mentored under Derek Zoolander and mastered the looks Magnum and La Tigre before his 21st birthday.

In time, X perfected his own signature looks, The Void and Soul Stealer.

One reporter described his soul searing eyes as “One glimpse and I felt my sanity shake loose.”

World famous murder mystery novelist, Wednesday Addams thought the fashion industry as “Soul-sucking, meaningless vanity,” but was bullied into attending Men’s Fashion Week by her agent, especially since she had gotten a personal invitation from X himself.

When she saw X walk the runway and turn those eyes on her, she suddenly had several ideas for future novels, with Viper de la Muerte gaining a lover named Alexander du Sang.

[shitouttabuck]

wip wednesday

tagged by @transboybuckley and @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove <3

hello this is a bit from near the start of my christmas fic (it’s preceded by 600 words of fighting? why have i started a christmas fic with fighting? how festive)

Buck’s been avoiding him for most of this 48-hour. Which is fine, because Eddie’s still pissed about the way he ran back into that house on the verge of a flashover for that little girl’s alarmingly geriatric greyhound, but sucks, because Eddie and Chris are leaving for ten days of Christmas holidays in El Paso tomorrow morning. Without Buck. So every minute Buck about-turns and ducks behind the rig like maybe if he can’t see Eddie, there’s no way Eddie can see his long-ass legs poking out from under, is one less minute Eddie gets to have him this year. Eddie’d kissed him behind the engine, soot-stained and grubby after delivering the skinny dog safely to her owner, before stepping back and shoving him in the chest. “As if Chris doesn’t have enough parental trauma associated with Christmas-time,” he’d hissed. “What the fuck would I have told him?” Buck had scowled back, face one giant smudge of ash when he replied, “Don’t worry, I’d have had plenty of time to heal up before I saw you next year.” And Eddie didn’t know what to say to that, because he asked Buck to come to Texas with them, of course he fucking did, but Buck said no, over and over, because he was going to spend Christmas with Maddie and Chim and Jee. That’s not stopped him from acting incredibly weird about it. Of course I wanna spend the holidays with my sister, Eds, Christmas has always been our thing, he’d say, and in the next breath snipe, yeah, well, it’s not like you could be gone for any longer than you already are. It’s driving Eddie up the fucking wall, because he doesn’t know what Buck wants and all Eddie wants is to make Buck feel happy and loved during a time of year that’s notoriously difficult for people who come from unhappy families, but he can’t do anything unless Buck tells him what’s got his sweet overthinking brain in this miserable tangle.

barely wrote anything new but i DID do some gross real life tasks i’d been putting off which hopefully means now i actually have time for this without the looming guilt of ignoring shit i should be doing! sexy

tagging beloveds @onward--upward @rewritetheending @housewifebuck @try-set-me-on-fire @eddiebabygirldiaz @jeeyuns @athenagranted @anakinfallen @chronicowboy @zahlibeth @buckactuallys @eowon @devirnis

[novaephemera]

thinking about jealous simon (my beloved!), and cracky/humorous tropes that would be super entertaining to write with wilmon:

-one of those "get a date with a celebrity!" type auctions with prince wilhelm of sweden for an lgbtq charity, and simon being extremely grumpy that wille seems to actually not be hating the date (he doesn't know wille is actually regaling the person with stories about simon, coz they are a wilmon shipper)

-hillerska third years want to raise money for the grandest final year party ever thrown, and they demand that their resident crown prince do a kissing booth (ft. simon death glaring every person when they approach and wille gratefully hiding behind him)

-spin the bottle, but wilmon don't know the class secretly placed a magnet in the bottle and under wille's cushion, which is why the bottle is pointing to wille every.single.time. (and simon finally has enough after the 8th random to kiss his boyfriend and yeets the bottle out of a window)

~will add more as they occur to me~

[wannabewannabemurdock]

She hides your things

Can’t find your vape

Open her door

She’s laying in bed

You see a boob

No…there’s two boobs

In between is your vape

She’s been waiting for you

You get excited

She sees the excitement on your face

Your heart races as you walk towards her

She whispers, “I found your vape”, then smirks, looking down at her bare chest

You follow her eyes, set on the prize

Her soft cold hands touch yours

It’s getting hard to breathe, you don’t believe it

She guides your hands towards her breast, softer, colder than her hands

You know what you have to do

She moans seductively “I need this”

Flabbergasted, you rip your hand away, yelling defiantly, “humbug!”

You take your vape off her chest and storm out

*Symphony No. 9 In D Minor, Op. 125 - “Choral” - Excerpt From 4th Movement: 4. Presto Written by Ludwig van Beethoven, Performed by Berlin Philharmonic, Conducted by Herbert von Karajan starts playing at 4:25-6:23*

@wannabemurdock @the-loverboy-poet-no73 @loverinstarshine73

[hero-i-am-not]

what if...what if I wrote an avengers fanfic where they were all fruits?

[perfectly-clear-from-here]

not me purposefully getting off my face drunk just to write this house party chapter realistically. downing another can solely for research purposes.

[foxgloveinspace]

I wasn’t gonna really talk about it here, but I think of lost control of my weirdness yall. I didn’t post it here, but I did indeed, write a smut fic about, fuck, human Lightning McQueen and Jackson Storm, and now I am writing a second one.

[dutybcrne]

Concepts of Diluc somehow getting/having to keep the Pyro Gnosis and Kaeya being absolutely enraged at the gods over it & Kaeya getting caught up in some Abyss Order mess and Diluc goin absolutely fucken John Wick to get him back, my absolute beloveds-

[incorrectringsofpower]

[Isildur and Galadriel have swapped bodies]

Isildur: Wow, what a total "Freaky Friday"! Or it's more of a "Quantum Leap". Where's a mirror?

Galadriel: Focus, just for a second, and take this seriously because the world thinks that you're Galadriel and I'm Isildur and I would really like to know why! Is that cool?

Isildur: Totally! Yes, I'm sorry.

Galadriel: Thank you.

Isildur: Weird. Hey, I'm Commander of the Northern Armies!

Galadriel: Just, if you could--just for ninety seconds of seriousness.

Isildur: You've gotta admit, this is a little cool!

Galadriel: [grimaces] I will find it a lot cooler when I wake up in my own bed tomorrow morning.

Isildur: ...You woke up in bed with Valandil?

Galadriel: [awkwardly] Mm-hmm.

Isildur: WE HAVE TO FIX THIS RIGHT NOW!

[lady-charinette]

I was a Dishwasher in my Previous Life but now I Got Reincarnated as a Spring Lake

This title just randomly came to me after thinking about all those isekai comics with "I used to be the 100th Villainess but now I got myself a Warlord Sugar Daddy" esque titles they usually have.

Anyway-

Dishwaser-kun went through so much in his previous life; dirty dishes got put into him, his insides constantly lined with lime and hardwater stains, pieces of food would rot within him before he was turned back to life in order to clean himself.

He finally got a second chance after he broke down and failed to function properly one day.

Death by lime stain. Or so the guy in the overalls said.

Now, he lives once more. Not as a hollow metallic hull, but as a clean spring lake in the middle of a peaceful meadow filled with the song of the birds and the noises of wildlife.

Until a couple of village children started to visit him and skip rocks on his clean surface, wash their dirty feet, and soak in his fresh water during the hot sommer days.

Women come and bathe their clothes, men would take bucket fulls of his clean water to sustain their families with.

Sometimes, his queit days return, in the winter months when a white veil washer over the once green meadow and turns everything to cold stone.

And yet, he lives, the fish finding purchase from the icy air at the bottom of the lake, where the cool temperatures find difficult to reach.

Dishwasher-kun was happy to be a spring lake.

[psychic-refugee]

Inspired by this post: https://www.tumblr.com/femalegnome096/718748631068475392/if-you-like-your-coffee-hot-let-me-be-your?

Elliot met her at the University library. At 5’1” she had a hard time reaching the top shelf and there were no ladders or step stools to be found.

At 6’2”, he was more than happy to help her reach the book she wanted.

She introduced herself as Gabriella Espinoza and thanked him with a shy smile for getting her book.

He had been in love with her ever since.

It wasn’t long before he was invited to meet her family, her father Luis was a jovial man who loved to laugh and doted on his only daughter.

He was a bit intimidated by their wealth, the massive mansion had armed guards and attack dogs prowling 24/7.

His mother thought she was the cutest little thing and teased him mercilessly on how he loved petite women.

His mother, Detective Sam Wazowski was less impressed when Luis Espinoza turned out to be the most powerful gang lord in Toronto, Miami, and Los Angeles.

“Why do you keep falling in love with daughters of criminals?!” his mother yelled at him.

“I don’t know!” he yelled back. He only hoped that she had not been sent to date him in order to get information on the investigation.

A few weeks later, as Elliot, his mother, and her partner Detective Kelly Duff were tied to chairs and being held hostage by Luis’ gang, he was happy to find out that she was not sent to date him for information.

Gabriella, however, was her father’s top enforcer with a body count in the triple digits.

[conradvvild]

I don't draw a lot anymore since I hate everything I create, but I made a crackfic with @avengerpeterman recently about a black metal band becoming a best selling kpop band and I have fallen inlove with my creation Roar-Hyyat also known as Kitty Cat. This is just a rough sketch so yeah, still needs updating.

[kifu]

I guess the one bright side to not having a phone is that I don't get to mindlessly scroll while on break at work. So not only did my mind get to dwell on a part of the crack fic (One with the Tribes) during work, I got about 500 words written out with the spare 25 minutes I had in breaks. (I am ... a slow writer by hand.) But that translated to a NaNo day amount on the computer.

Here - have a token of something really dumb within the chapter (but something I really want to pursue for no real reason other than the fact that Remy will be SOOO much easier to write with a challenge for him to fixate on):

“I wanna fuck her,” Remy said into his loose fist. His eyes trailed after Kifu as she stalked back to camp. He vaguely saw Telk turn to stare at him, slowly with a mix of emotions Remy couldn’t sort out through his peripheral. “She’s like my sister,” Telk said. Remy grunted. “A’ight. I get yer permission ta fuck her?” “You’d have better luck with Eljah,” Telk snorted. Remy flicked his eyes back to Telk, studying him for a moment. “She scared shitless ‘a me.” “Among other problems,” Telk agreed. Remy hummed noncommittally, not sure of the connotations behind that particular statement but uninterested in finding out. “Kifu doesn’t do relationships.” “Oh no,” Remy said so quickly he nearly barked it out. “No, she da type’a crazy ya ride once ta say ya did.”

[thatonesarcastickid]

Peter VS Super Powered Pills

Peter was most definitely not high. But he might have taken a tad but more than the recommended amount of painkillers.

Now that wasn't usually a problem, but this just happened to be the super powered painkillers Mr. Stark developed a few months back.

One or two was enough to make him pleasantly buzzed and numb but three had turned him loopy and that left Peter resorting to calling Mr. Stark as he watched his distinctly thin and bony shoulders becoming curvy in the mirror. Peter didn't even know that shoulders could be curvy.

So....he has a problem, therefore he's staring at the three dots on the screen of his phone, which was progressively getting blurry.

The phone gave two rings before Tony's voice rang out, "Stabbed, broken limbs or angry aunt?"

Peter blinked and tried to think through the fog to formulate a response," Um....neither or wait there's more than two..so uh none?"

"Eloquent, so what's the problem kid? You don't usually call me at odd hours to just hear my voice now?"

"But....I like hearing your voice Mr.Stark, you talk fast.....and it's usually funny.....I like funny...did you know Happy was cracking jokes the other day. It was so weird Mr. Stark. Heh...."

There was a long pause and Peter checked twice to see whether he hung up. He could just make out a blurry grey screen but since he could hear Tony's breaths he put the phone back to his ear.

Finally Tony replied.

"Are you high, kid?"

"What! No why would you think I'm high, Mr.Stark? I'm not high, jeez."

"Uh-huh, then why are you weirder than usual?:

"Mr. Stark ....you think I'm weird....I'm sorry. It's so hard to be normal.....I don't think I know how to.....do you.. do you think I can learn?" With Peter's voice growing decidedly sadder and quieter to almost choked up, Tony's anxiety hit the roof.

" Peter did you take something, or did someone give you something? Where are you right now?"

"Aw Mr.Stark don't worry so much. I'm fine. No one gave me anything. But there was a fire and a beam might have fallen on me and it might or might have been .....on fire. And it began hurting so bad that I may have taken likthreeofthosepillsyougaveme."

There was a pause for five seconds and in a voice Peter just knew was gonna get him grounded for most of the foreseeable future. "What did you just say?"

" I took like three pills that you gave me and now I'm all loopy and my room's changing dimensions and May's on a date so I can't call her and I can't reach the splinters in my back but I can feel them and it's so itchy- "

"Take a breath, kid. I'll be there in ten."

" But you don't have to come all the way here....maybe I can swing over."

" Whatever you do, you will not swing here when you're as high as a kite. Cool your sticky little boots."

Peter was still listening ...somewhat. But the buzz had surpassed the loopy stage and now the voice and lights were dimming and blinking there's a ringing in his ears and everything slowed down till Peter thought he just stopped breathing entirely. Because his chest was like rising and falling so slowly and god, he can't even lift his hand. Why was everything so slow?

Then there's a noise and Peter can't make out if it was real or in his head or oh no what if he wasn't real? Then he blinked and Tony was looking down at his curled form in the bathroom.

"Are you real? If you're not then that's OK too. I don't mind imaginary Tony."

"Oh yeah, why's that kid? Because he's imaginary?"

Peter giggled,"No, because I can tell you anything and it won't matter because you're a gifment of my imagination."

" You mean...figment?"

The teen frowned. "Gifment. Like ....unicorns and infitely tessellated hexagon tortillas."

"Infinitely tessellated hexagon.....tortillas?"

Peter perked up. "Yeah, Ned and I the other were having lunch the other day and then we used three pieces of bread to make a sandwich and it worked!.....that was so cool."

"Oh yeah, and then what happened?"

"That was amazing cos that totally proves that 3 fold symmetry sandwiches can make way for spherical sandwiches and tesselatted hexagon tortillas."

Tony snorted and grabbed the pill bottle,"Great. You know what everytime I think you can't get nerdier...well take another pill."

"WHAT ? But the whole problem was that I took too many...." His face scrunched up, eyes blearily trying to focus onto Tony but slipping every which way.

"Yes and the next time you do so you can be well assured that I will tell Aunt Hottie. But, taking out all these splinters are gonna be a while and clearly you're still lucid enough to talk about tesselatted tortillas and hexagon sandwiches and what not. The problem was that you're unaccompanied not that you took so many pills. Who knows what kind of shenanigans you might have been upto? The resident high superhero is me, kid. The spot's taken."

Peter's face scrunched in confusion but he obediently swallowed the pill and within a minute hid already droopy eyes closed completely.

"But you shouldn't be high Mr.Stark. Drugs are bad for you. You know that drugs can accelerate your heartbeat instantly and old people with heart conditions shouldn't do drugs."

" Thanks for that short stack. You called me old and sick when you're the one who's A- high,B-in a bathroom."

Peter decided to not respond to that by giving a half hearted eye role. Then sighing a little, he dropped into sleep and Tony quickly stopped his head from hitting the floor and laid him on his side.

The man huffed and set to work, carefully taking the splinters out and bandaging the cuts all the while with small smile on his face.

~*~

When May came back at 3 in the morning she found her kid curled up in the bed with a bright neon note stuck to his forehead.

"Is drugged, do not disturb.

Will talk about tesselatted tortillas

You have been warned.

T.S"

May simply sighed and tucked the comforter in around Peter and went to her room to change.

She's dealt with far more than high and nerdy teenagers and their sober and nerdy mentors.

What she needed to do was flop onto bed and dream about the beautiful date she had.

~*~

"Mr.Stark, what's that on the table?"

"An Infinitely tessellated hexagon tortilla. I wouldn't recommend eating it but it exists, so woo-hoo for you spider-baby."

Peter turned red. "So you were there the whole time?"

Tony laughed. "Yeah kid. Did you think the splinters crawled out on their own?"

"No, but....ugh so you heard everything too?"

"Of course. 3-D printed this baby a few hours ago. So is your earning for weirdly geometric Mexican food fulfilled?"

Peter who shed every bit of embarrassment, was staring unabashedly at it with stars in his, said nothing.

[your--isgayrights]

Sending an ask just to say: Merry Christmas, remember to take care of yourself and good luck on your writing, Jay!

Thanks so much! Merry Christmas to you too :D ⛄ 🎄🦌

[splosh-crime]

This is so insane, I adore it!! 🥰

Just a little idea

What if when Tim went off to look for Batman when he was lost in time he bumped into Phantom.

They made a Deal

Phantom knowing CW helped him find Bruce and how to get him back safely, Phantom in return for reasons (hurt badly & recovering, or evolving in power) needed someone very ecto-contaminated (Ra's fault) like Tim, to be contained in.

From a magic user point of view, knowing very little of the GZ and how they work, Tim made a very powerful Deal with a powerful death being (High Ghost King Phantom: Hello!) and is now somehow pregnant (not really but they don't know that)

Danny while inside Tim inside his core can still hear the world outside normally and can share his emotions with Tim to communicate. Which looks a lot like Tim is speaking to his belly just like expecting parents do.

This could be angst or crack

or

my personal favourite, different genres for different pov's

Tim's would be happy, just regular getting his life back together being a total BAMF, coming of age type of vibe

The rest of the Batfam and other heroes pov would be angst, paranormal, psychological horror.

Misunderstandings galore

Dick regretting heavily his decisions which caused Tim to run away because he did not believe him and he has many Regrets.

Bruce feeling guilty that Tim felt the need to make such a decision as to make a Deal and end up pregnant just to bring him back.

Meanwhile the magic users have told the other heroes about Tim's situation and now think that he's going to give birth to the child of a very powerful death being and if something happens to Tim to risk the baby it would cause all of their worlds destruction.

so pretty much-

Tim-Girl Boss, Gatekeep, Gaslight

Batfam- Much Angst

Others- *panicked chicken noises*

~

Just an Idea