#cr: hidden

[helimir]

the fact that orym was working up the courage to go to dorian’s room for 20 minutes… and then immediately admits that he’s been working up the courage for 20 minutes.

he has such a hard time opening up, but once he’s made the decision and the opportunity is there? it’s an instant shift as he can finally put down the weight of hiding anything he’s feeling from dorian.

[dadrielle]

I can't stop thinking about just how emblematic everything in those conversations of Ashton being "a child" are of how, even at her most beaten down, triggered and traumatized, Laudna is not and will not be what Delilah wants her to be.

For Delilah, "they're still a child" is dismissive, a bit derisive, but doesn't even merit being truly hateful. She doesn't find Ashton worth the attention Laudna is giving them, not when there are such more interesting, important things to pull the attention of an adult. Children are only important when they are useful. She will indulge Laudna on the subject, because Laudna is useful, is her vehicle for action in the world, but she only cares about it in the context of getting Laudna to do what she wants. Calling someone a child is calling them unimportant. (Laudna is a child to her)

But for Laudna, who loves children and who understands intimately what it's like to have the helplessness of child, to be trapped under the authority of someone who will never treat you as a full person, even when they are being ostensibly kind, to be so confused and lost and powerless...a child deserves attention more than anyone else. Of course children lash out. Being a child IS in many ways quite awful because the world is so big around you and you don't know yet how to react to any of it, how to soothe yourself - and if you aren't given the attention, you never learn how. Ashton never learned how. Her instincts - instincts trained into her by manipulation and abuse from inside and the world around her - may say kill him, but she fights them the whole way because her heart is stronger and her heart says that the angriest, most volatile child needs care as much as any other. More, even.

Laudna hears Delilah call Ashton a child and agrees on the word, but they have diametrically opposed understandings of what that means, and diametrically opposed instincts on how to treat a child. Laudna doesn't want to hurt anyone, especially children. She loves children. She loves so much and so selflessly. And Delilah is so very very good at manipulating her but she has tried for 30 years to change the bedrock of Laudna's psyche, the truer thing that drives her beyond the base animal instincts of survival, and it hasn't worked.

[theartingace]

going through some old CR files and found this random dragon hidden in the layers and idk what was happening here but it's a vibe (and I like this dragon design but I'm not going to do anything about it)

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

Hidden Gems 7: A Shadowgast Rec List

This week we have the 7th hidden gem rec list! Check under the cut for 8 fics that have less than 150 kudos, and don't forget to comment and kudos if you like them!

Moths and Marigolds by Foxtrot66 (1741, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Major Character Death

The Clay family welcomes Essek to The Blooming Grove, helping him through a tough time.

Reccer says: A soft, atmospheric and sad glimpse in the future of what Essek's life might be like. I keep coming back to re-read. On top of that the illustrations are absolutely beautiful!

An illusion and the real thing by AFractionIrrational (6376, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Imprisonment, Interrogation

Caleb Widogast is less persuasive in the throne room and first meets Essek Thelyss under different circumstances - as his prisoner.

Reccer says: A very compelling and interesting canon divergent AU with those early Shadowgast mutual manipulation vibes

The Dancers and the Dreamers by royalgreen (allyoop) (7671, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

The night has finally arrived: it is the Jester and Fjord wedding, an event with no surprises whatsoever. Definitely nothing silly. An absolutely completely normal wedding. There are no secrets and definitely no shenanigans.

Reccer says: It's a Shadowgast-Centric look at the Fjorester wedding, with a lot of Nein-typical shenanigans and a lot of fluff. A very cozy read!

Judgment & Justice by BurdensOfTomorrow (57477, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: past child abuse, referenced torture

The Trial of Trent Ikithon, former Archmage of Civil Influence.

Reccer says: I love this for the same reason I love highly specific AU's - the author is definitely bringing a lot of passion and experience into their writing, and with expert skill

Insinuation by JustNap (2502, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb and Essek have a very 'serious' talk about what is to come in the future.

Reccer says: This fic is so sweet, funny and heart-warming.

Coming in from the Cold by MorningBright (7165, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Panic attacks/disassociation

When Essek suffers a panic attack, Caleb helps him through it in a safe place and they discuss their complicated experiences with cold/snow. Set post-campaign 2.

Reccer says: It's sweet, amazing hurt/comfort

Running in the Rain by Luuuna03 (4637, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek didn't intend to break into Caleb's house, steal his food and fall asleep on his couch. It just sort of... happened...

Reccer says: Great fluff (and not just the cats)

Footsie by Northofthewall (2182, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek discovers touch can be magical, overwhelming, addictive, and maybe has a little downside.

Reccer says: Essek losing his ability to concentrate over the smallest touch is just *chef's kiss*

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week, we’ll be back with dark fics!

[hello-eeveev]

we’re 2 for 2 on on-screen Thelysses being awkward can we get awkward Deirta Thelyss can we can we

[dailychinesedrama]

[230706] 段嘉许恋爱了's official weibo update:

@大舅哥桑延 和好，我最好的兄弟！ ​​​

Credit: 段嘉许恋爱了

[thematronofravens]

lowkey i relate HARD to marisha right now, im always sus because i just always look suspicious

[ngsketches]

Heheh Beast form

I'll Reblog with some lore layer (if I can remember what to write down-)

Unshadowed version of the mercookie form under the cut

[whumpdoyoumean]

Whumptober #15

xxx i don’t need you to help me

Fjord looks up from his dinner in time to see Jester skipping toward Caleb, and he looks back down with a shake of his head. The wizard has been standoffish these last few days, more than usual even. Not that Fjord can blame him, really. The fight with the direwolves had been…intense, to say the least. His hand moves to his stomach as he remembers the gaping wounds that had been there, the indescribably horrific feeling of holding his hands over them in an attempt to keep his insides from spilling out. He remembers the sounds that had come from him, agonized and inhuman. He shudders and pushes his food around in his bowl with his fork, his appetite diminished. Caduceus had been able to heal him, but between the miserably cold days and trying to make up for time lost, they’ve been unable to have a decent rest and all of them are feeling it. 

“Caleeeeeb!” He hears Jester’s sing-songy voice. “Look what I made you!” When there isn’t an immediate answer, she adds, “It’s a flower crown, I--”

“I have no interest in your silly things!” Caleb snaps, suddenly and sharply. Fjord’s hand freezes, and he looks over at Beau. She just shrugs slightly, her expression as surprised as his own.

“Oh,” Jester says softly, the woven daisies held gingerly in both hands. She takes a step backward. “Sorry.”

Caleb’s face softens, eyes wrinkling at the corners and mouth turning down with regret, and he sighs heavily. His shoulders slump as he does, his whole body seeming to cave in and shrink. 

“No, Jester. I--I am sorry.” He tries to make eye contact, but his gaze keeps flicking down to the dirt. “That was…very nice of you. I’m just…I am very tired.”

“We’re all tired, Caleb,” Beau says, her voice sharp. 

He nods once, and maybe it’s the shadows cast by the fading light but he looks…exhausted. Haggard. Definitely worse off than any of the rest of them.

“Yes. Yes, of course, I didn’t mean…It is lovely, Jester.”

She narrows her eyes at him, but she’s never able to stay angry at Caleb for long and Fjord can see a corner of her mouth twitching. She lets Caleb stew for a moment longer before beaming at him. 

“That’s alright, Caleb! Here!” She gently drapes the flower crown on the man’s head. He can’t say no now, and she knows it. Fjord  rolls his eyes, but he can’t help but smile at her antics.

It quickly fades when Caleb’s knees buckle. Jester manages to catch his arms before he can collapse fully, letting out a startled sound.

“Caleb!” Nott’s voice joins Jester’s, the goblin scrambling to her feet. 

“I’m alright,” Caleb insists as Jester helps ease him down into a sitting position. The breathiness of his voice undercuts his words, however, and Fjord sets his bowl on the ground, ready to stand if he’s needed. Beau is already on her feet.

“I--I am okay!” His voice cracks, and he’s even more unconvincing than he was before. “I just need to sit down for a minute.”

“What is that?” Nott demands, and Fjord does stand then. 

Caleb tries to bat her hands away, but he’s no match for her speed and she snatches his coat, pulling it away from his torso and letting out a cry, voice rising in pitch and volume. 

“Is that blood?!”

“Beau.” Fjord looks over at her. “You better go get Caduceus.”

She nods once, wide-eyed, and takes off running toward the trees, while Fjord hurries to Jester and Nott and Caleb. The former two are clamoring, while the latter tries (and repeatedly fails) to reassure them.

“Please, Nott, I am fine. Jester, I’m fine!” 

“You’re not fine, Caleb!” Nott cries.

“That is a lot of blood,” Jester adds.

Caleb doesn’t look at either of them, stares at a distant point between them looking flustered. Now that he’s close, Fjord gets a real look at Caleb for the first time in days. He doesn’t look good--dark circles under his eyes that stand out even more against unusually pale skin, a sheen of sweat covering his face despite the chill in the air, despite the visible shivers running through him. 

It’s a wonder no one’s noticed before now.

“Hey.” Fjord puts a hand on Jester’s shoulder and one on Nott’s. “Why don’t you guys go check on the fire?” When he’s met with looks of reluctance and defiance, he adds, “He looks like he’ll be needing it.”

“Let’s go, Nott,” Jester coaxes. “We can get some firewood to help Caleb.”

Nott lets out a discontented hum, but allows herself to be led away by the tiefling. Fjord waits until they’re a few steps away before he kneels down in front of Caleb. The light is beginning to fade and Caleb’s shirt is dark, but there’s a large patch that’s even darker, and four thin gashes in the fabric on the left side of his chest. Now that the others are gone, the I’m fine act has vanished, pain evident on Caleb’s features as he lets out shaky breaths.

“I--I’m going to lay down now, I think,” he murmurs, leaning back and hitting the ground with a grunt, draping his left arm up and over his head.

“How bad?” Fjord asks as he starts the process of pushing up all of the layers of clothing to get a look at the wound.

“Not…Not sure. Haven’t, erm--” He clears his throat. “Haven’t had a chance to look.”

Fjord looks up at him with raised eyebrows. He supposes he shouldn’t be surprised, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be concerned. “We’ll have a chat about that later. Shit you wear a lot of clothes…”

“It is col--sheize!” He closes his eyes tight, grimacing in pain as Fjord pushes the innermost layer up and away from his ribs.

“Easy, there--ooh shit.”

There are four ragged, parallel gashes across his ribcage, starting halfway to his midline and extending up and around his side toward his armpit, almost to his back. The whole left side of his torso is covered with dried crimson, the wounds dark with it as they try to heal. One gash is cracked, a thin trickle of fresh blood oozing from it. And the area all around the wounds is visibly inflamed and bright red underneath all the dried blood. Caleb’s chest rises and falls in short, rapid breaths. 

“That bad?” He almost laughs as he says it. 

“It’s not good.” Guilt is beginning to gnaw at Fjord as he realizes that Caleb’s been walking around like this for days. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“It’s just some scratches. You were dy--” He stops. Breathes. “You needed all the healing they could give you, Fjord.”

Ah. Caleb didn’t want them to use any spells on him, so he’d kept his mouth shut. 

The guilt only grows. He examines the wounds, squinting at them in the dying light. 

“You still should’ve said something, Caleb. We can help you. There’s other things besides magic.”

He expects a response to that, at the very least an indignant sound, but to his surprise the wizard says nothing. 

“Caleb?” He looks up and his heart skips in his chest. Caleb’s eyes are closed, his face slack. “Hey, Caleb. Caleb!” 

“Is he alright?” Nott calls.

He reaches up and pats Caleb’s face (fuck, his skin is clammy), ignoring Nott’s shout for the time being as he tries to stir his friend into consciousness. 

“Caleb, c’mon buddy.” Frantic fingers move to his neck, finding the pulse there fast and fluttering. 

“Caleb!” Nott runs back, dumping a small arm load of wood on the ground before falling to her knees near Caleb’s side. Her eyes widen as she takes in the wounds, and she looks up at Fjord. “What happened?”

“He was hurt during the dire wolf attack.”

Nott makes a sound that’s somewhere between worried and frustrated. “Well, why didn’t he say anything?”

Fjord sighs. Because of me, he thinks. He doesn’t look at Nott, instead turning to Jester, who’s wandered over with her own load of firewood. “Have you got a piece of wire squirreled away somewhere?”

Jester nods quickly. 

“K, good. I need you to contact Caduceus. Tell him Caleb is wounded and we need him to get back here as quick as he can.”

“Okay.” She sets the wood she’s gathered down before digging into her bag to find the wire necessary for the sending spell. 

Nott is sitting on the ground now. She’s lifted Caleb’s head so it’s resting in her lap, and now she’s leaning over him, murmuring quiet reassurances. Fjord feels like he’s intruding somehow, so he moves away and picks up some of the discarded sticks and branches to stoke the fire. 

Beau and Caduceus emerge from the woods a few minutes later, and Caduceus quickly busies himself mixing things he’s gathered from the woods into some kind of paste. Beau sits next to Fjord, picking up a stick from the ground and tracing swirling shapes into the dirt. 

“How is he?” she asks after a moment, not looking up from her idle scratching.

“He’s in pretty bad shape. It happened during the fight with the dire wolves. I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner…He didn’t say anything because of me, you know.”

Beau and the stick freeze, and she looks up at Fjord. “You’re not really trying to blame yourself for this, are you?”

Fjord doesn’t answer, and Beau glares at him. 

“Fjord,” she says, her voice serious. “You were literally dying. Plus Caleb is pretty good at keeping secrets. None of us saw it. It’s not your fault.”

Fjord takes a deep breath, letting it out as a long sigh. “Well it sure as hell feels like it.”

“Well it’s not. So just stop. Besides, Caduceus knows what he’s doing. Caleb is going to be fine.”

“Yeah,” Fjord says quietly. “Thanks, Beau.” 

“Fjord?” Caduceus says. “I’m going to need your help.”

Fjord stands quickly. “Whatever you need.”

“The mixture I’ve made will help him heal, but I’m afraid it isn’t particularly pleasant. I’ll need you to hold Mister Caleb still in case he wakes up.”

“Sure,” Fjord says, moving over to the unconscious wizard’s side. He kneels in the dirt next to him, putting a hand on his uninjured shoulder. Caduceus positions himself on Caleb’s other side.

“Nott, hold his left arm, please,” Caduceus says as he scoops some of the paste he’s made from a little wooden bowl. “Keep him steady.”

“I’ve got him,” Nott says firmly, gripping Caleb’s left wrist with both hands.

Caduceus nods at her, then smears some of the mixture onto the gashes on Caleb’s chest. Caleb makes a small sound in the back of his throat, his eyebrows twitching into a slight frown, but other than that he hardly stirs as Caduceus continues to scoop the paste onto the wounds. Fjord is starting to think perhaps the firebolg was just being overcautious when Caduceus starts to rub the paste into the open wounds. Caleb’s whole body jerks and he lets out a loud cry.

“It’s alright, Caleb!” Nott says, holding onto his arm with a frantic expression as Fjord puts more of his weight onto Caleb’s good shoulder. 

“Easy, there,” Fjord says. 

“I have to make sure the medicine gets deep into the wounds if he’s going to heal properly,” Caduceus says in that calm, steady voice of his. 

“We’ve got him,” Nott says. “Keep going.”

Caduceus does, and Caleb screams again, writhing, trying to twist away from Caduceus’s touch. Fjord looks up at Nott to make sure she’s got a good hold on him. She does, of course--she possesses an impressive amount of strength considering her size--but he can see on her face that it’s difficult for her, seeing Caleb in pain like this.

“You’re doing very well, Mister Caleb,” Caduceus says. “Nearly done.”

Caleb is trembling by the time Caduceus finishes, his breath coming in small, pained gasps. He doesn’t wake up. 

“He needs some good rest now, for the medicine and his body to do their work,” Caduceus says. He looks up at Fjord, and he seems to stare into him. “I think you could do with a good night’s sleep too, friend.”

Fjord shakes his head a little. “No. No, I should keep watch--”

“We’ve got it,” Beau says. 

“Yes, we can do it,” Jester agrees.

Fjord wants to argue, but he can tell by the others’ faces that it’s not an argument that they’ll let him win. 

“Fine,” he says finally. He’s not sure he’ll be able to sleep, but he lays out his bedroll anyway, settling next to Caleb. 

He watches the stars for a long time, listening to Caleb’s breathing and the crackling of the fire. 

He doesn’t even notice himself tire before he drifts off. 

xxx 

Caleb is already awake when Fjord wakes up in the morning, sitting next to the fire with a blanket wrapped around him. He still looks tired, but he’s improved significantly since the previous night, and is even smiling a little at something one of the others said. 

“How are you feeling?” Fjord asks, walking to join them. 

“I’m alright,” Caleb says. 

“Good,” Fjord says. “Because I’m about ready to kick your ass.”

Caleb frowns. “I’m not sure I’m feeling that alright,” he murmurs, looking down at his hands.

Fjord crosses his arms over his chest. “What the hell were you thinkin’, keeping that from us?” 

Caleb raises his eyes guiltily, his arms scrunching up toward his shoulders. “I didn’t think it was that bad.”

“Yeah, well, it fucking was,” Fjord says. It comes out sounding harsh, and he knows it, but he doesn’t hold back, the worry that’s been knotted in his gut coming out as frustration. “Never again, you hear me?”

“I hear you,” Caleb says. 

Fjord is determined not to let Caleb off easy, so he just sets his jaw and nods curtly. “Good. We’re a team now, Caleb. You don’t have to just handle shit on your own.”

“I know that. I’m sorry.”

The genuineness in Caleb’s voice is enough to make Fjord soften, just a little, and he sighs. Damn it. 

“Yeah, well. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

xxx 

[piratespencilart]

Colour wheel part one! Artagan for orange was suggested by @sunneinsplendor! I've never drawn him before so this was fun. :)

[ID: A colour wheel split into eight wedges. In the orange wedge is a digital drawing of Artagan from Critical Role. He is a grinning arch fey with long ears, curly red hair, and a green and orange outfit. End ID.]

[micuko]

[utilitycaster]

Hi, I'm the anon who wrote to you a few days ago about feeling conflicted about Beau and Caleb's involvement, and while I would probably prefer a story closer to M9 you are right that this isn't where we are now. However, once C3 is over I think it would be interesting to compare the pacing and plot structure in all 3 campaigns, not to decide who is better, but to see what the strengths and weaknesses are for each.

Hey anon! Thanks, and for what it's worth this was not really in response to you and more about some stuff I'd seen floating around elsewhere (and to be honest the fact that I'd said similar things during the Whitestone stuff); I think you voiced your feelings in a way that was respectful and understandable! And I share your feelings that I do prefer a Nein-style campaign, and this is me talking about the story in Ebert "is it achieving what it sets out to do" terms.

I agree it would be interesting to compare across campaigns! I do think a lot of this all comes down to personal preference; I also think that audience expectations have been a major factor (ie, people expecting a VM-style plot were disappointed in the Nein; people such as myself who enjoyed the style of the Nein campaign taking quite some time to come around to the very different structure of Bells Hells). And, more generally, I think this kind of comparison is good to think about regarding actual play at large; so many discussions about the "correct" type of campaign miss that. I've been thinking about it a lot in relation to Worlds Beyond Number, given that everyone in it is a D20 veteran and D20's contained, shorter style vs. WBN's intended long-form campaign style are often considered to be at odds, rather than different but valid choices.

[shadowgast-recs-weekly]

Hidden Gems 6: A Shadowgast Rec List

This week, we have the 6th hidden gems grab bag! Check out under the cut for 9 fics that have less than 150 kudos and cover a wide range of genres, and don't forget to kudos and comment if you like them!

Perfection by Defira (330, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Through the luxon, drow spend lifetimes reaching for perfection. Essek has already found it.

Reccer says: I liked it!

Burn to Gold and Crumble Away by The_Hybrid (1526, General) Reccer's Content Notes: Major Character Death

It's a funeral fic for the m9 set in the future.

Reccer says: It's sweet.

How to Rest by eeveev (14420, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

After Aeor, after making their feelings clear, Caleb is in Rexxentrum and Essek is on the run. Still, they find ways to be together. or Six months in the lives of wizards falling in love.

Reccer says: Cute!

Dawn by Allinna (2950, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

a really short and sweet dive into essek's canon story arc, themed around the sun

Reccer says: the sun is caleb!!! the darkness and light imagery!!

Love in Creation by LuckyOwlsFoot (1662, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek works on a project for Jester's wedding

Reccer says: A sweet and tender moment, some fun worldbuilding, and that feeling that if you start something even before there's any hint of a need of it, you might finish in time felt so real.

we'll be gone just like the gentle breeze of yesterday by quinn_of_aebradore (3351, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek Thelyss is many things: a master of dunamancy, a scholar of the arcane renowned across Exandria, and rather skilled when it comes to the theft of magical artifacts. The third, unfortunately, puts him in the path of Caleb Widogast, another talented thief. When social circumstance pushes them to complete their latest heist together, Essek finds his carefully maintained house of cards beginning to crumple and his orbit drawn ever closer to Caleb's.

Reccer says: It's a delicious crime/thief AU that hits all of the right notes - rivals, having to pretend closeness, secrets and mystery

Cascade Effect by firefright (6867, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Omegaverse

Essek follows the Nein into Aeor, where the already daunting task of saving the world is further complicated by yet another twist in his and Caleb's fractured relationship.

Reccer says: A wip continuation of an already wonderful a/b/o series

come back to me (i've been waiting patiently) by glossolali (1286, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: disassociation, ptsd

Memory overtakes Caleb, but Essek is at his side.

Reccer says: Soft and cozy and tender

Whiskey Waltz by echoplexx (1742, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

During an evening of merriment with the Mighty Nein, Caleb convinces Essek to dance. Post-main campaign, pre M9 reunited.

Reccer says: A sweet and lovely moment between the two of them

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week, we’ll be back with fake relationships!

[astrid-beck]

One of the things on the my fic bingo sheet should be "someone is magically disguised and their gender is different" and this is not usually because it means anything serious or deep or important it usually just is because if I had disguise magic available to me I would just casually try on every gender under the sun. I'd be inventing genders you've never heard of.

[justalittlebluetiefling]

She’s an anglerfish on land oh my god she’s an anglerfish. 

[dailychinesedrama]

[230628] 偷偷藏不住官微's official weibo update:

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