#cr nana you do so much for me

[kazu-naito]

HELP

[topaz-mutiny]

And this is why five hours of fun & games don't cut it.

You get a deeply hurting grieving lonely man making a deal with a hag because five hours is just not enough time to unpack this sad-clown-car of grief.

Even if they had taken all five hours to do so. Which they didn't. It barely got even a passing mention.

Orym is just as deeply fucked up as the rest of the Hells. He's just far more capable at masking it and passing for normative and able.

[gotta-winwin]

(🎞️) ... hit the road docu.<> and for the ghosts that haunt me

masterlist | cyana's masterlist

word count: 3.6k tw: anxiety, mentions of bullying, panic attacks, blood, use of slut shaming italics are interviews cut between scenes + english a/n: this is a retelling of a story that is extremely close to my heart. school bullying is NOT a joke, and remember that you're beautiful, strong and that no matter what anyone else says - you define who and what you are. if any of the above trigger warnings trigger you - scroll away, stay safe, and come back for the next one 💓

“Cyana!”

Cyana turned to greet her, a mysterious, faceless young girl whose voice sounded all too familiar. 

“Chloe, hey.” She smiled, a wave of fond memories washing over her as she reminisced about what used to be. “I’ve missed you.”

“We saw each other yesterday, silly.” Chloe laughed, the sound sending sudden chills down Cyana’s spine. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Cyana asked, noticing the sinister glare behind Chloe’s friendly smile. “Chloe?”

“You really don’t know, huh?” Chloe chortled, eyes dancing with mirth, relishing in the glory Cyana’s confusion and fear gave her. “God, you really are dense. Just like your mother. Bet you won’t go to university, just like her.” 

“Stop that.” Cyana protested, and a sudden sense of deja vu washed over her. This had happened before. “What’s going on, Chloe? Aren’t we friends?” 

“Psh.” Chloe hid a smirk behind her hand. “You’re way too naive to be sixteen, Cyana.” 

Sixteen? She frowned. She was way past sixteen now. Turning twenty one just a couple months ago had hit her like a truck. She didn’t feel her age. In her head she was still sixteen, huddled behind bathroom stalls and hanging her head low in hallways. 

“Cyana?” A familiar voice spoke out of Chloe’s face. “Cyana?”

She blinked. 

“Chan?” 

The familiar face of her self-proclaimed twin and tour roommate hovered over her, blurred and hazy as she blinked up at him. Gentle fingers placed her glasses on the bridge of her nose, and a worried Chan came into clear view. 

“Are you okay, Nana? You were crying out for something.”

She sat up, nearly bumping into him as she looked around, disoriented. “I- just a dream.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Chan echoed the words his hyungs used to say years ago. “I used to get nightmares too. Jeonghan always said talking about it would make it easier.” 

She shook her head. 

“Cyana, she-” Dino paused, thinking. “She doesn’t like talking about herself very much. Sometimes I wonder if I really know her at all, and then I shake myself out of it because- she’s my twin. Of course I know her well. There are just some things she’s not ready to share yet.” 

Cyana could feel her hands shaking as she packed for LA. Although she had been mentally counting down the days of tour leading up to it, she hadn’t realized it’d be so soon. 

“Nana-yah?” Joshua knocked against the wall of her hotel room, poking his head in. “Are you all ready? We’re leaving soon.”

She hummed, keeping her head low, scared he’d pinpoint her red eyes and accuse her of crying. “Almost done.” 

Nothing ever got past Joshua.

“Are you alright?”

Cyana really wished people would stop asking her that.

“I’m fine.” 

“Cyana, she-” Joshua let out a breathy laugh. “Her tolerance for things is too high for her own good.” 

Lingering by her door, Joshua’s eyebrows were pulled tight as he watched Cyana continue packing, her hands quivering under the dim lights of the room. A storm cloud was starting to stir within him, something deeply unsettling and worrying hovering just above the horizon - Joshua could sense it. 

“I was never good at weaseling the truth out from others. Or forcing them to tell me. That was Cheol’s job. But he wasn’t there.” Joshua gave the camera a weary shrug. “It was what it was.” 

Wonwoo was the one who found Cyana on the cold tiles of the airport bathroom, ten minutes before their flight to LA. 

Pushing the door open with the brunt of his shoulder, Wonwoo crashed into the single occupant stall, disheveled and frantic as he stared at the girl sprawled across the tiles. 

“Cyana?” He gasped out, catching his breath as he bent down, moving her hair away from her face. “Everyone’s looking for you. What-” Reality hit him like a rock as he realized the severity of the situation. There were dozens, if not hundreds of fans outside, and Cyana was currently lying on the floor, her eyes bloodshot and unfocused. “Where does it hurt?” 

Her blurry eyes looked up to meet him as she took in his features. “Wonu?” 

“Yeah.” His hands hovered shakily over her frame as his mind short-circuited, scared to move her but equally scared to let her stay on the floor. “The floor is unsanitary, Nana.” He mumbled, trying to calm himself as he checked for injuries. “Where does it hurt?”

Her hand moved to her chest. 

“Your-” He paused, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. 

“I can’t breathe.” 

Ah. Panic attack. Why, Wonwoo had no clue, but at least he was familiar with these.

“Sit up. That’s good.” He braved a smile as he helped Cyana situate herself so she was leaning against the wall. Sitting down in front of her, Wonwoo spread his long legs in an uncomfortable position, but favourable for holding her as close as she needed. “Breathe. Slowly.”

He felt her whole body shake as she inhaled. 

“Breathe again.” He whispered, painfully aware of the time ticking away - a plane waiting to be caught. “Tell me what’s wrong.” 

He felt her shake her head, her hair brushing against his chin as she did.

“Please.” 

“I don’t want to go to LA.” 

Wonwoo had suspected so. “Why?” 

Cyana didn’t know what compelled her to tell him everything - but she did, crying on the bathroom floor in some grimy airport, covered in his arms. Wonwoo stayed silent as she spoke, his strong arms holding her together like glue as tears fell from his own eyes, mirroring the ones in hers. 

“Yeah, I knew. I knew everything.” Wonwoo told the camera, revealing the truth after nearly six months. “But once she had collected herself back together again, she told me to keep everything to myself. So that’s what I did.” 

“Cyana, you need to get out of bed.” 

Dino watched from his spot on his own bed, as Joshua gently scolded his roommate. He was confused why an usually active and energetic Cyana had been lounging in bed all day, practically every day since they had landed in LA. 

“Shua hyung’s right, Nana.” Dino quietly voiced his opinion, frowning when Cyana grumbled unhappily. “What’s been going on with you? So grumpy.”

“We’re here for our concert, right? So I don’t have to go outside.” Cyana argued, pulling the blankets tighter around herself. “Please don’t make me go out.”

“We’re here for a week, Nana.” Joshua sighed, exasperated. “You can’t stay here all week.”

Cyana’s lower lip jutted out. “Watch me.” 

Dino watched the whole exchange like a tennis match, his head turning back and forth as he watched them speak, confused by the sudden switch in language. “Nana.” He tried again, thinking maybe she’d be more receptive if it was coming from him. “Please? You said you’d take me sightseeing.” 

Cyana hesitated. She had agreed to Dino’s ask for her to be his tour guide, but that was before - 

“Okay, fine.” She relented, unable to take back her promise. “But only today. And we’re avoiding the popular spots.” 

Dino only got up excitedly, hurriedly getting ready and grabbing his bag. Joshua, on the other hand, frowned at her words. Avoid the popular spots? But why? Even as idols, they could often roam around unfazed, especially in the states, where Seventeen was yet to be a household name. 

“I was already worried then.” Joshua told the interviewer solemnly. “But we had enough bad vibes going around and- I guess I was praying it was all in my head, and that she was actually perfectly fine.” 

“You run away from your past until it all eventually coils up and attacks you all at once.” Cyana let out a defeated laugh. “LA was full of demons- demons I had fled to Korea to avoid. And now- well, tour had brought me right back where I started.” 

Cyana stared out into the vast ocean of fanlights trying to catch her breath. Joshua had told her - moments before running onstage - to just breathe. To ignore everything else around her and to just concentrate on the performance, on them. It was easier said than done because now, looking out into the crowd, all Cyana could think about was the probability of one of those fanlights being someone she knew. 

A small, miniscule possibility - but it terrified her nonetheless. The same kids that had threatened to destroy her could very well be staring up at her from the sea of fans and she felt too vulnerable. 

“Breathe.” 

Wonwoo appeared next to her, waving to the fans in their section but solely concentrated on her. He could hear her harsh breathing through the screams. “Breathe, Nana.” He reminded her gently.

It felt comforting knowing at least one person knew everything she was going through. 

Taking her hand and placing it on his chest, Wonwoo���s eyes fixed on hers, his expression serious but worried. “Breathe - like me. In and out.” 

Cyana did her best to follow the rhythm. “I’m trying.” She gasped out. 

“Good.” Wonwoo smiled, and Cyana basked in the light of it. “You’re okay.” 

“Mhm.” She nodded. She could make it through the concert - concentrated solely on the two of them, the little bubble that Wonwoo’s presence created around her.

Cyana could barely see her own hands as she stumbled offstage, making her way down the stairs the moment the stage screen had closed behind them. Her heartbeat was taking over her senses, drowning out the farewell cheers of the crowd. 

Reaching a hand up to touch her face, she let out a harsh sigh of both relief and disbelief. She was still alive. 

“Nana?” DK’s voice cut through the incessant hum in her ears. “Are you okay?” 

A hand grabbed her shoulder and she flinched away violently. “Don’t touch me.” She yelped out, terrified as she spun around. 

“Okay, I’m sorry!” DK yelped back, equally terrified by her sudden reaction. “You just don’t look so well and I thought- you might need a hand.” 

Her cheeks flushed. “I’m fine.” Cyana couldn’t believe she had just snapped at DK, who looked at her with hurt in his eyes as she stumbled away towards their changing rooms. 

“She looked almost drunk.” DK confided to the interviewer. “Stumbling around backstage, her hands digging into her neck and ripping out her in-ears. She looked sick. It was terrifying.” 

“I’ll go after her.” Joshua called out towards the rest of the group, who were all frozen, unsure of what to do. 

“Wait.” Wonwoo grabbed his arm, stopping him. “She’s not in her right mind right now. Something must have happened during the farewell ment. I’ll talk to her.” 

“Are you sure?” Joshua eyed the younger boy warily. Since when had Wonwoo and Cyana gotten this close? 

Wonwoo nodded, and Joshua could sense he knew something the others did not. 

Running after her, Wonwoo skidded to a stop as he spotted Cyana sitting, half lying down on one of the makeup chairs. 

“Cyana.” He approached her, raising his hands in a sign of surrender. He didn’t know what mindset she was in at the moment. “Nana-yah.” He reached out a hand to steady her, keeping her upright as she threatened to spill on the floor. “Look at me.” 

“I’m sorry.” She panted out, her eyes unfocused. “I’m sorry.” 

“What for?” The English felt strange against his tongue, but it got some sort of recognition from the girl as she raised her head to meet his eyes. 

“It’s all my fault.” 

“What is? Cyana, what?” 

“Don’t hurt me.” 

Wonwoo froze. “I’d never hurt you, Cyana.” 

“Chloe.” 

“Is that her name? The girl who hurt you back in school? The reason you left?” The questions left him in a flurry as he kept her upright, her entire body weight against his. He could tell she was on the verge of passing out. “Nana. I know you’re struggling, but you need to get it together. Please. Just until we’re back in the car.” 

Her eyes were glassy and her stare seemed to go straight through him. 

“Please.” He pushed up his glasses to wipe his tears away. Her condition scared him. 

“I don’t know how Wonwoo managed to get me back in the car.” Cyana spoke quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t remember much about that night - after the concert. But the others told me I was a mess. A zombie. Living in my skin but not quite there.” 

Cyana watched from her place on the bed as Dino paced back and forth across their shared hotel room. Wonwoo had deposited her there, promising to be back once he had found Joshua, instructing a worried Dino to look after her in his absence. 

It infuriated Cyana that they were all treating her like glass, even though she knew the emotion was unfair. They were doing their best - and she could feel herself shutting down, her safety mechanisms whirring back into place.

Dino’s footsteps seemed to thud inside her head each time he moved. Her heart was racing as she recalled the familiar face she had seen in the crowd during their farewell ment. How she yelled out her name, and that all too familiar threat. I’ll destroy you, Cyana. She had. She will. 

“Could you stop moving?” She suddenly snapped, startling Dino out from his stupor. 

He looked up from his phone and frowned. “What?” Cyana had never used such a tone with him before. 

“Just- you’re being so fucking loud and it’s actually exploding my head and it’s just- too much!” She yelled out, her hands shaking as she balled them up into fists. “Just-” She forced herself to quiet down, although her body still shook with pent up rage. “Sleep somewhere else tonight.” 

“What?” Dino’s irises shook with pooling tears. 

Cyana looked away. 

“I want to be alone tonight.” Her voice grew weaker. “Please.” 

“Oh.” 

She couldn’t bear to look at the hurt that must be across his face right now.

“Okay.”

The door clicked shut behind him. 

Cyana sunk deeper into the bed, pulling the blankets over her as she squeezed her eyes shut, silent tears pooling from the corners. 

She had never felt so horrible. 

“You need to tell me what’s happening.” Joshua ambushed her the next morning, setting a breakfast bun and a cup of milk on her bedside drawer.

“Josh. It’s like seven in the morning.” She mumbled, tugging the sheets closer to her as she rolled away. 

She was tugged back by a stronger but gentle hand. “I don’t care if it’s seven in the morning.You need to tell me what’s going on.” 

Cyana knew he was right. 

“I don’t even know where to begin.” Her shoulders slouched as she sat up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “There’s too much.” 

“Start at the beginning.” Joshua sat down on the bed and turned to face her. 

“I don’t know what I was expecting, really.” Joshua told the interviewer. “Something about school, or acting, I was sure. But not what really happened. No sane person would’ve expected that. Especially for it to happen to Cyana.” 

Joshua listened as Cyana spoke, her voice strangely calm as she led him through it all - starting brand new in highschool, making friends, feeling included. His expression grew darker and darker as the story progressed, eyebrows furrowing as he imagined little Cyana in the scenarios she was speaking of right now. 

Cyana told him everything. How her close friends- her ride or dies had betrayed her, turning against her all because of rumors a girl had spread to her classmates. How they had bullied her out of school- out of LA entirely. 

“Chloe.” Joshua finally said after she had finished, gently wiping away a lonely tear that had fallen on her cheek. “I heard Wonwoo muttering about that name.” 

Cyana nodded. “She was one of my best friends. You know those people who take your phone and unlock it- and you don’t even bat an eye? Or how you subconsciously hand over your bubble tea for them to try. The first person you call when something good or bad happens to you. She was that for me.”

“And she turned everyone against you?” 

She hummed. It was a strange feeling - to re-explore the past. Cyana had found she never had any trouble when talking about it, because it’d always sound like a story she had made up. She’d forget it had actually happened to her. That is, until the stories become reality once again. “She said she’d destroy me. And she did. I never found out why, why she woke up one day and decided I was no longer a person who could feel anything she threw at me.”

“And being back in LA, like, triggered something?” 

“I guess. I was- it’s silly.” 

Joshua shook his head. “Nothing’s ever silly when it comes to stuff like this.” 

“Well, I- I was scared my classmates would find me at our concert and try to- hurt me. Or hurt one of you.” Cyana looked down at her lap, her cheeks burning. “It’s stupid.” 

“No.” His voice was firm enough to make her look up at him again. “It’s not. Every fear, however irrational you might think it is, stems from something.” 

Cyana nodded. “When did you get so wise, Shua?” 

Joshua’s lips twitched. “I’ve always been wise.” His expression sterned as he remembered his initial question. “You saw someone, didn’t you? At the farewell ment.” 

She let out a cough, choking on her spit. “How did you know?” 

Joshua let out a dry chuckle. “I think everyone could tell something went wrong during the ment.” 

“I saw her. Chloe. Standing front row, waving a Vernon banner.” 

“What did she do?” 

“She yelled my name, so I turned around and-” Cyana hesitated, as if the words refused to leave her mouth. “She said she’d destroy me. Just like she did in high school.” 

Joshua let out a shaky sigh. “You need to tell Coups. Or management.” 

Cyana’s hand shot out to grab Joshua’s leg. “No!” She protested. “I’m sure it’s just in my head or something. We’re leaving LA soon anyways, it’ll-” She tried pasting a smile on her face, as if to reassure both herself and Joshua it’d be okay. “I’ll be fine.” 

Joshua hesitated before agreeing. “Alright. But if anything else happens-”

“You’ll be the first to know.” Cyana finished for him. “I promise.” 

Joshua stood up, gesturing to the breakfast still sitting on her bedside table. “Eat. You’ve been rotting in that bed for two days. And take a shower after. Nasty.” 

She let out a laugh and Joshua brightened visibly at the sound. 

“She’s better now.” He told Mingyu, who was waiting anxiously by her door as he stepped out, closing it behind him. “Opened up. Laughing even.” 

“Thank god.” Mingyu’s shoulders relaxed. 

“You should go shower too.” Joshua made a face as he walked away. “You’ve been rotting by her door ever since she went in. You too, Dino.” He added, spotting the boy who was sitting on the floor in the hallway, eyes unfocused. “Get some sleep, she’s fine.” 

Cyana could hear all this through the walls, as she slid back into bed, her breakfast lying cold beside her. Her stomach churned at the thought of eating, and her heart weighed heavy knowing she had slighted Joshua. 

Sure, she had told him the truth about what was going on- what had happened. But she wasn’t better. She knew they’d worry themselves sick and be rendered useless the rest of tour if she didn’t get her act together - so that’s what she did. She acted. Thank god for her acting background, or she would’ve collapsed into Joshua’s arms sobbing. She nearly did, but she caught herself.

After all, Cyana was glue. Flexible, strong, hard to get rid of. Whatever broke her down, she’d get back together, she was sure of it. 

“Cyana.” 

She found herself back in her school’s gymnasium, surrounded by fellow classmates all dressed up. She knew this night. Spring Fling night - where dating was overlooked for one night in an all Catholic school. 

“Cyana.” 

She turned, and realized who was behind her. 

“Matthew.” She gasped out. He hadn’t aged at all, his hair was still infuriating lopsided, curls never landing straight, his eyes crinkled up in a large smile. “What-”

“I heard you’re so obsessed with me you wrote me over 200 songs.” His loud mouth split into a nightmarish grin. “Slut. You spread your legs open for anyone, huh.”

“What?” Cyana gaped at him. But- she had heard all this before. 

“Cyana! Look over here!” 

She turned, and blinked as a bright camera flash blinded her. 

“I’m framing this so I can jack off to it later.” The boy who held the camera was faceless. “You let Matthew, so why not me?”

“I don’t-” 

“Cyana!”

“Wonwoo?”

She turned around once again, greeted by Wonwoo, dressed in a pale blue suit, his hair pale white. He smiled at her with his hand outstretched. 

“Dance with me?”

She let out a breath of relief, reaching her hand out to take it. All of a sudden, something came flying towards them, causing Wonwoo to slump to the floor, blood dripping from his side, his glasses askew on his face.

“Wonwoo!” 

“You really thought we’d let you get your happy ending?” Someone laughed from the shadows of the party, the disco lights reflected against shadowed figures. “After I said I’d destroy you?”

She glanced back down at Wonwoo, who was on the floor, his eyes wide and frozen. She stifled a scream. 

“Cyana!”

“Cyana! Wake up!” 

a/n: oof. this one's a heavy one. i really wanted to bring this story into cyana's character - and if you can relate to any part of it - hope her journey to healing can help you in yours. fighting !! and remember: kindness is supposed to be a guarantee, not a "if."

[butterflydm]

cr 106 & 107

Glad I rewatched 106, because I really did miss a lot while I feeling a bit under the weather last week, so I missed most of the actual infiltration. The main thing I remembered from last week was going "wow this is really the monsterfucker campaign" after all the flirting at Nana Morri's, lol. It really does amuse me that the entire group is so into Morri and Ira while sending shade in the direction of the gods, who apparently just needed to be more capricious and weirder and less-trustworthy in order to trigger Bells Hells' monsterfucking desires. (did the ending of 107 confirm or refute this feeling? lol)

(side note: I do feel sad for Birdie and Ollie. Given Fearne's upbringing and relative isolation, I understand why she flat-out refuses to feel that Nana Morri is capable of ever doing anything wrong or bad, but man did Birdie and Ollie get screwed over by Nana Morri)

The initial battle was quite exciting but the secondary battle was even more so. I am so glad that Imogen pulled the trigger on that second fight ("I don't want Predathos to be free!") because giving the go-ahead for the Unseelie army to help Ludinus until the Sorrowlord decides it's time to betray Ludinus genuinely would be an actual betrayal of all of the people that they just spoke to in Vasselheim (including Keyleth). I think it was Marisha/Laudna who would pointed out that they would then be responsible for killing all of those people on both sides if they did something like that.

Also: Laudna has disintegrate! Wow!

Bells Hells finally got a sign from a god that was obvious enough that they noticed it, you guys! Big moment! It only took a temple being magically being rebuilt before their eyes. Also, so excited that we're getting more from the Arch Heart here. (and so so excited about our special guest, Abubakar!). They wanted to talk to a god.

Arch Heart is like, okay, no more time for being subtle. We're playing hardball. Also, they're a total prankster, which fits, given that they're the patron of all things fey.

Also Ashton getting this direct refutation of their belief that the gods would immediately smite them if they knew that the gods had found out that they knew the truth.

So two of the gods want to "let go" (leave Exandria, presumably) while the others want to stay. "Try convincing my family to leave their children." They believe that the only way they can get the others to leave is to scare the ever-loving fuck out of them.

Abubakar's Arch Heart remains very very charming. Also I do not trust them, lol. They basically want the same thing as Fearne's daddy, don't they? Just for a different reason.

Their argument is that BH should sacrifice one of their own (Imogen or Fearne) in order to scare the rest of the god family off Exandria so that they can have their family back. Or at least that's how it sounds. "Make sacrifices for the greater good" -- but what is the greater good. That's the question that Bells Hells has to answer here.

Orym being like "idk if I think you actually have that much influence over your siblings" lol.

Also, there are way too many ??? in the Arch Heart's plans for my personal taste, but we'll see what Bells Hells thinks, I guess.

Literally everyone's plan who wants to use Predathos to do anything:

Step 1: Free Predathos

Step 2: ????

Step 3: Profit!

I haven't found any of their arguments convincing, lol.

[milkiie-shiftz]

🥐 for “princess” and “so how did you meet?” ^^

heck yeah! thank you for the ask love, i had so much fun with this!

prompt: 🥐 create a moodboard of yourself in your dr before and after you experience it

princess dr!!: hobby, favorite color, pet: Nanette (Nana), favorite spot, me, favorite food, pet: Colette (Ettie), home, favorite person

first board in my childhood, the second in early adulthood

as little, i absolutely love dancing and my ballet lessons; my favorite color is pink; my favorite spot is under the big tree in the garden (or in it) - i love to read there, nap there, or play banquet with my sister there; i have a major sweet tooth, i mean, as long as it has sugar in it, i will eat it; my favorite person is my older sister

in my early adulthood, i can spend hours playing the piano (or the harp, but i only had space for one); my favorite color has become a peachy orange, and i could now live in it, it is my signature color; i hang out in the flower greenhouse a lot, drawing the flowers or reading, or meditating on life; my sweet tooth hasn't gone away, but my flavor pallette is more refined, and i have now learned there is such a thing as "too sweet" - i enjoy the tanginess of berry jam on a sweet scone as my breakfast of choice; and while i still absolutely adore my sister, my favorite person is my secret lover, my valiant knight, Alarick

(also my pets are named to rhyme because it's cute, okay? okay)

so how did you meet? dr: hobby, favorite color, name, my room, mental state/energy, fashion, pet, home, miscellaneous picture that captures my general feelings

first board before the k!dnapp!ng, second board after

before, i am struggling with my mental health a lot, and most my time is spent doom scrolling and bed rotting; my favorite color is dark blue, because it feels calming; my name is catherine, and i really don't like it or identify with it; my room is small, and hardly personalized because of my mother who basically designed it to her liking, and due to my mental health struggles, it is always very messy; i have very low energy, don't sleep well, have a poor diet (struggling with ED and trying to recover by myself), and overall, i feel like shit all the time; i dress very basic, partly because of my mother's pressures and partly because i don't have the energy to care; i want a pet, any pet, so badly, but can't have one, so i have a tamagochi; i live on a commie block in a small town; i always feel alienated, out of place, and lonely

(this is all based on my past mental health issues and family problems in this cr)

while capt!ve, i become an avid reader, like i was as a kid, because i am not allowed a phone for the first year; my favorite color slowly becomes pink, because it makes me feel happy and innocent; he makes me choose a new name, to make it harder for me to be found, and i choose Cecilia, but he calls me Cilly as a pet name; he has me living in the attic, in a large, cute bedroom with an on-suite bathroom, and helps me to help it clean at first, though later, as my mental health improves, i can do it myself; i grow happy, calm, playful and whimsical under his care, healing and getting better by the day; i start dressing very cutesy and in bright colors, half because that is the clothes he gets for me, and half because that actually makes me feel confident and pretty; he gets me a puppy when he finds out i always wanted one, i name her Maisie; he has me in a very nice house pretty far away from civilization; while with my k!dnapper, my mental health is improving significantly, thanks to the gentle, respectful treatment and the lack of pressure, as well as me reading a lot of self-therapy books and learning to care for my mental health better, i'm in general much happier

[panderp123]

C3 EP 78

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⚠️ SPOILERS CR ⚠️

The Lost Children

Seeing Bells Hells aftermath of the shard rejection and how Ashton has brought down those walls. The group goes off in different directions to come to terms with Ashton doing a selfish thing.

The moment…of all characters to say this…Delilah tells Laudna

“He’s a child…”

Which sparked Laudna to make one of her quirky dolls and pulled at my heartstrings.

But before this happened Fearne was so upset she had a somewhat childish tantrum about Ashton almost dying. Three of the party members have severe childish tendencies all different but wow!

Fearne doesn’t know how to handle anger because in EXU she got scared of being evil or turning. Which resulted in her having silent storm-offs or unusual lashouts. It’s very Fearne and how much isolation she’s had from being protected by Nana Mori. A being of the Feywild, Fearne is a delight but it’s so heartbreaking when something scary happens she becomes this little girl. Or a difficult decision such as reviving Orym earlier in the campaign.

Once Fearne storms off and as predicted Chetney goes off to console her. Ashton became this small thing and the walls were all gone. Some moments caught me by surprise.

“I…just want my parents.”

“I wanted someone to blame other than myself…”

“I don’t like myself very much…”

These are important points because I think Ashton…never really left the desert. Their inner child is constantly crying out for their missing parents. This also concluded my point before that the Greymoore home wasn’t as great as it should have been.

To link back to the doll Laudna makes later in this episode, Ashton sees Laudna and apologises. He didn’t betray her. He just did a dumb thing and that triggers Laudna’s childish tendencies. Laudna doesn’t understand the difference between betrayal over doing something dumb in a selfish manner. However, when the doll is handed to Ashton they start to cry.

Holding it and looking at it which a new look at their mistakes. Ashton is just this broken child deep down.

“I’ve never had a doll before…thank you.”

The fact Ashton had never been given a toy shows you how messed up their time must’ve been at the orphanage. Before they plain jump he tucks the Ashton Doll on his person.

Now on to Laudna, the weight of the events pulls her closer to her patron Delilah. As much as we don’t want her to awaken more I’m kind of glad Laudna had her to talk to for this as I feel Imogen would have sugar-coated it too much.

Delilah albeit dark, evil and narcissistic did make an effort to console Laudna. Not only that but Laudna defied her when Delilah suggested she take the shard.

The childish nature of Laudna is due to her traumatic past. So she clings to her inner child Matilda as those memories are not overshadowed by her time in the castle or with the Brairwoods. By all means this isn’t healthy at all! However, it is character growth.

Naming off all the sad things of her friends' pasts or her own Laudna finds a way to mend Ashton’s inner child by making a doll out of graffitied wood, a chipmunk skull & quartz. It’s simple but it made the tough punk cry so it must have worked.

I’m glad the ice was broken before they took respite in the Feywilds. Despite being homesick Fearne didn’t want to be selfish like Ashton in asking could they go. Given that the group are not mentally stable to face Ruidius they all agreed a needed R&R is needed due to lack of communication.

I like how Matt added Birdie & Ollie at Nana’s because the whole group needs a loving parent unite to help.

Things I’d like to see upcoming:

• Chetney is the Grandpa of wisdom of the group & there’s no BS so more of that. (Be funny if he hit on Alura more just for a laugh xD)

• Laudna & Ashton connect on a wholesome level with childish joys (toys or puppetry)

• Ashton & Fearne reconcile more. No romance but more fixing the foundations before anything happens

• Birdie has a secret 👀

• Allura becomes a more Mother like figure for Imogen in regards to her power.

• Orym gives Ashton a stern talk (Liam was AFK so it be good to see what happens there.)

• Nani Mori knows what to do with the shard 🔥

[friendsandcookies]

This last episode reminded me why I love the coming home episodes so much. If you visit the parents of friends, you get to see where they came from and why they act the way they do. But in cr or ttrpgs in general the character does not exist outside of a players head. All the history back home is on paper and yet the cast always play it in such a way that you still get the same feeling. When we met Beau’s dad or the dad of the twins we could understand their resentment and why they are closed off to the world. On the other side of the spectrum meeting Marion or Cad’s family showed why they care and why they are so wonderfully chaotic both in their very own ways. Every visit provides some the pieces that are missing beforehand to truly understand a character.

And Ashley and Matt delivered the last episode. Whatever Fearne says always has a bit of a question mark behind it and her interaction with Nana Morri gave the missing link for that part of her character. Nana felt the same, but in her very own way. We still don’t know if Fearne ever tells the truth but now we know why she might talk the way she does. Same with her collections of both objects but also things. Her fascination with FCG was mirrored by Morri’s fascination with Pâté etc.

Ashley and Matt provided all the answers one might need without answering anything. We simultaneously understand Fearne as a character more while also not understanding her at all. It’s beautiful and it felt 100% authentic.

[golchaworld]

[6:53pm]

“Dinner’s ready!”

Jeno practically gives you whiplash with the speed in which he shoots up from the couch, always unable to resist some of Jaemin’s famous cooking. Renjun, on the other hand, is much more gentle, laughing as he slowly places your legs down and helps you off the couch. The two of you walk into the kitchen side by side, playfully nudging each others’ shoulders.

“You know he’s only cooking because you’re here,” Renjun teases. “He can never resist the opportunity to impress you.”

As the smell of noodles fills your nose, you sigh. “Well, it’s working.”

The six boys take their places around a small wooden table, instantly grabbing bowls for their ramen. You take the empty seat next to Haechan, grabbing a bowl before digging in yourself. It would have been a fairly quiet dinner, if Chenle didn’t spill his ramen all over himself. The boys instantly had a field day with it, howling with laughter and teases. You laughed right along, unable to contain your own amusement.

“Jisung, I don’t know why you’re laughing,” you teased. “Remember when we were trainees, and you knocked over a whole bottle of wine on Doyoung’s birthday?”

The maknae groans, digging his palms into his eyes. “Don’t talk about that, please.”

“The managers were just about ready to kill you,” Jaemin laughs along.

Jisung turns his reddening face away from the table, unable to live down the embarrassment of that day a second time. You just reach over Haechan’s lap to pinch the boy’s cheeks anyways, mumbling something about how cute he is. When Jisung lightly slaps your hand away, you giggle. You’d never tell the boys this, but Jisung has always been your favorite.

“At least you were cute back then, Jisungie. Nana’s teeth were too big for his face.” You tease, just stirring the pot like always. “Don’t even get me started on Jeno.”

Jeno’s eyes widen in surprise. “What did I do?”

“You were looking a little too smug over there.”

Chenle nods. “See, this is why Y/N’s my favorite.”

“Eh, she’s alright.” Haechan shrugs, prompting you to punch him in the shoulder.

Haechan whines in mock pain, over-exaggerating like he’s known to do. This, of course causes the rest of the boys to laugh, and you to roll your eyes. You’ve always admired Haechan’s dramatic aura, having teased him endlessly that it was the real reason he was able to debut. Ultimately, he would whine and fake cry about how you’re ignoring his talent, thus proving your point even more.

Renjun snickers from his spot at the end of the table. “Haechannie, remember when you used to have a cr-”

“Shut up, Renjun.”

Your eyes widen, fascinated with the new information from your friends. “Really?” You turned to the boy next to you. “So those few months where you acted like you hated me was because you had a crush on me?”

Haechan just nods weakly, attempting to hide his blushing face with his hands. It doesn’t last long, though, before his face lights up with a past memory.

“Wait,” the boy calls, face breaking into a smile. “Jaemin, didn’t you have the biggest crush on Y/N of all time.”

Jaemin looks hurt. “Why would you bring that up?”

“Renjun started it.”

You just roll your eyes, chuckling at the boys’ childish antics. While they continue to bicker, you shovel some more ramen into your mouth, thinking of ways to silence the room. It’s not that they never listen to you, but more of the fact that sometimes you have to get creative. When the truth of your trainee days popped into your mind, you chuckle, knowing that it’ll work.

“Don’t feel bad, guys,” you begin. “I used to have a huge crush on Jaemin, too.”

The boys all turn to you with incredulous looks.

“You what?!”

A/N: here’s a little piece on group dynamics to make up for the time I’ve been gone!! I hope to be back to posting regularly this week. Thanks for being patient everyone.

[keyofjetwolf]

THE GIFTENING 2019: Jet Wolf’s Nomination Run-down

Last year, people said they would have liked to know which of the nominations I’d seen, or knew about, or liked, or didn’t like, etc. etc. I HEAR YOU. Under the cut, you’ll find all the nominees in every relevant category (anime, non-anime animated, live action, movies, games), and a couple of brief notes on my familiarity (or lack thereof) and general feelings on the thing.

YOU NEED NOT CONSIDER ANY OF THIS BEFORE MAKING YOUR VOTES

I’m putting the info out there for those who’ve wanted to know, but that information is relevant precisely as much as you want it to be. I can and will liveblog something I hate, I can play a game I’ve played twenty times before. THE GIFTENING is for you, and while I won’t lie (I won’t pretend to like something I don’t, I won’t feign surprise at a twist on my 21st playthrough), I’ll happily provide whatever entertainment in whatever way I can.

Also please note that if I don’t like something, that feeling comes with no value judgement. My disliking a thing reflects only on myself. So if you see I’m not a fan of something, or don’t think I’ll like it based on what I’ve seen or heard, please keep in mind there’s nothing personal toward in you at all in that. AND HELL I COULD BE WRONG FEEL FREE TO TRY AND SHOW ME

Anyway, enough with the blah blah. Join me under the cut if you care to know!

Anything marked only with ** means I haven’t seen/played it nor have any particular thoughts or opinions to share.

Anime

.hack//Sign  **

A Place Further Than The Universe - Haven’t seen it, but from Dashboard Osmosis, was more interested in it than I have been a non-Sailor Moon anime in a long time.

Aggretsuko  **

Aikatsu!  **

Alien Nine  **

Angel Sanctuary  **

Aria the Animation  ** 

Assassination Classroom  ** 

Azumanga Daioh  **

Bodacious Space Pirates - Saw through the first couple of episodes (liveblog here!) Not sure where it’s going, but liked it pretty well!

Bubblegum Crisis - An old personal favourite

Clannad  ** 

Death Note - I think it’s about killing people with a slam book I DUNNO

Death Parade  ** 

Diebuster  ** 

Erased (Boku Dake Ga Inai Machi)  **

Excel Saga  **

Fate/Grand Order: Babylonia  **

Fate/Grand Order: First Order  **

Fire Force  **

Free! Iwatobi Swim Club - I’ve watched the first series. It’s okay, WOULD BE BETTER IF NOT SO MANY DUDES

Fresh Precure - I’ve not seen any Precure series, but if pressed, would say it appears overwhelmingly fluffy and saccharine

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood - a GIFTENING favourite! Barely into it, but enjoying so far. (previous liveblog here)

Fushigi Yuugi - I watched the series (quit partway through the OAVs) when I finished Sailor Moon back in the day and desperately wanted to find it again. I failed.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun  ** 

Given  ** 

Glitter Force  ** 

Grave of the Fireflies - NEVER SEEN IT HAVE BEEN INFORMED IT WILL DEVASTATE ME

Haibane Renmei - I know only what I’ve read via Holligay’s liveblogs! (find them here)

Hamtaro - uhm isn’t this about a hamster

Higurashi When They Cry  ** 

Houseki no Kuni (Land of the Lustrous)  ** 

Hugtto! Precure - See note on previous Precure

Hyouka  ** 

Kaguya-sama: Love is War  **

Kaleido Star  **

Kemono Friends  **

Kimetsu no Yaiba  **

Little Witch Academia  **

Log Horizon  **

Love Hina  **

Luck & Logic  **

Madoka: Rebellion - I saw the Madoka series (fairly ambivalent to it), and heard the movie was terrible, but no clue why, specifically.

Magic Knight Rayearth - Watched this back in the day and haven’t watched a single second since. I REMEMBER LIKING THE BLUE ONE

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha - Someone sponsored this liveblog for a while! (liveblog here) It was doing some really interesting things with kids burdened with all this world-saving shit, I thought.

Magical Girl Pretty Sammy (TV not OAV) - I know this is a Tenchi Muyo! spin-off (watched some Tenchi back in the day), but I’ve never seen it. Magical Girl Raising Project - Seen the whole series, and really quite enjoyed it.

March Comes in Like a Lion (3-gatsu no Lion)  **

Megalobox  **

Mirai Nikki (The Future Diary)  **

Mob Psycho 100 - Never seen it, but know a bit about it through Dashboard Osmosis.

Mobile Suit Gundam (1979) - WOW WE’RE GOING BACK INTO THE OLDEN TIMES. I’ve seen bits and pieces of *A* Gundam, but no idea which.

Moribito  **

My Bride is a Mermaid (Seto No Hanayome)  ** 

My Roommate is a Cat - Never heard of it, love the title, want it to be a series mashed with the one above.

NANA

Natsume's Book of Friends - I’ve heard the title enough to have it ring a bell, but know nothing otherwise.

Neon Genesis Evangelion - I FUCKING HATE EVANGELION I SEE YOU HOLLIGAY

O Maidens in Your Savage Season - This is another banger title, never heard of it.

Ojamajo Doremi  **

Pretear

Princess Principal

Princess Tutu - WE’RE OLD FRIENDS TUTU AND I. I’m currently liveblogging Princess Tutu on the regular thanks to Calantian! (liveblog here) I just got to the halfway point of episode 12, and have Tutu on the schedule for January as well. LOVING THIS SHOW.

Project A-Ko - Among my earliest of anime experiences. A classic. A weird, weird little classic.

Re:Creators  ** 

Read or Die (OAV)  ** 

Revolutionary Girl Utena - I’ve no doubt my time of fully diving into this anime is approaching, but thus far, I’ve only nibbled at the edges. I know there’s shit here, there are too many people into it. MOSTLY THOUGH I’M STILL CONFUSED ABOUT WHY THERE WAS A KANGAROO (previous liveblogs here)

Rose of Versailles - It’s a historical anime and I think there are lesbians?

Samurai Pizza Cats - I could have this wrong, but I think this is a dubbed anime that’s hilariously unconcerned about anything involving the actual translation and plot? And it’s about cats that deliver pizza? I think there’s a crow that’s the bad guy or something?

School-Live - I know the general premise and watched the first episode ahead of Doc’s Eight Days liveblog of it. What I know has intrigued me.

Serial Experiments Lain - I watched this waaaay back when. Bought it on DVD! Still have them! I cannot for the life of me remember how I felt about it.

Slayers - Another I watched a bit back when! Found it to be generally okay, but it was like twenty something years ago because I am an old.

Snow White with the Red Hair  **

Suite Precure - See previous Precure notes

Sweetness and Lightning - I got this as a Wildcard a couple GIFTENINGs ago, and found it to be CHARMING AS FUCK. I’m still mildly concerned it’s going to go creepy and weird on me Because Anime, but otherwise, I had a great time. (previous liveblog)

The Promised Neverland ** 

Thunderbolt Fantasy **

Trigun - I think I saw this on commercials for Toonami? Vash the Demolished or something? I THINK IT’S ABOUT A DUDE WITH A GUN

Umineko When They Cry ** 

Violet Evergarden ** 

Yona of the Dawn - I did a tiny bit of this for a commission, but remember next to nothing about it. (previous liveblog)

Zombie Land Saga - I ASSUME IT INVOLVES ZOMBIES IN SOME FASHION

Non-Anime Animated

Adventure Time - Seen a lot of it pass my dash, I know there’s a yellow dog that can be things, and the vampire and the pink one are gay.

Anastasia - Just livestreamed the movie with Holligay for Eight Days! I’ve no particular feelings toward it otherwise.

Archer - I KNOW IT’S ADULT

Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse - This has been nominated every single GIFTENING, I think, and while I’m no closer to knowing what this is actually about, the persistence is inspiring.

Bob's Burgers - Great show! Seen many episodes! I think it’ll be hard to liveblog in a meaningful way.

Bojack Horseman - I’ve seen through season three. EXCELLENT SHOW

Captain N - What the fuck I think I used to watch this on Saturday mornings

Carmen Sandiego (2019)  **

Castlevania (2017) - I’ve seen a couple gifsets, that’s it.

Chuggingtons - WHY DO YOU PEOPLE HATE ME

Courage the Cowardly Dog - I know the premise, never watched the show.

Cyber Six  **

Daria - It was a Beavis & Butthead spin-off and that immediately killed all interest for me.

Donkey Kong Country (TV series)  **

Ducktales (2017) - I know a lot of people love them, but I have to say, I’m not a huge fan of the Disney ducks, generally speaking.

Epithet Erased  **

Ever After High  **

Gargoyles - Saw the first multi-part episode in a livestream a year or so back. It was pretty standard 90s cartoon stuff to me just from that, but I know it’s well-loved.

Generator Rex  **

Gravity Falls - Currently liveblogging for the Patreon! LOVE IT. I’m not sure we’re outside the exclusivity window for it, but if it makes it into the second heat, I’ll figure out how to go from there.

Green Eggs and Ham (series) - Wait, what the hell, this is a series? HOW DO YOU MAKE THIS INTO A SERIES

Green Lantern: The Animated Series  **

Harley Quinn - Loved the clips I saw of the first episode! Did not love the antisemitic clips I saw of the second episode!

Hazbin Hotel  **

Hilda   **

Home Movies - The few clips I’ve seen were hilarious.

Infinity Train  **

JEM - MY LOVE. It’s desperately 80s and objectively poorly done in places and I adore it with my entire being.

Jonny Quest  **

Kidd Video - I feel like I SHOULD know this, but I can’t place it.

Kim Possible - I’ve heard of it!

Klaus  **

Mao Mao Heroes of Pure Heart  **

Moominvalley (2019) - I know Moomins are those little white hippo things. I am pure confusion beyond that.

My Life as a Teenage Robot  **

Over the Garden Wall - I did a couple episodes for my Patreon a few years ago, and have since finished watching the whole series. I’m up for a rewatch!

Rugrats - I know of it, but have only watched the Hanukkah special.

RWBY - Heard of it! I had the impression it was pretty queerbaity? (don’t quote me on that)

Samurai Jack - I know the premise, but never watched the series

She-Ra (80s) - YES I KNOW YOU

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) - Love it, love it. I still haven’t seen the most recent “season” (it’s a half season don’t jerk me around Netflix)

Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse - I am a long-time comic book nerd and quite familiar with the Spider-Mans. Saw the film shortly after last year’s GIFTENING and enjoyed it.

Star vs the Forces of Evil - Had a liveblog of this for THE GIFTENING a few years back and it was okay, but I wasn’t super impressed. (previous liveblog)

Super Friends - I FUCKING HATE THE SUPER FRIENDS I SEE YOU HUBBY

Tangled: Before Ever After - Saw the movie, never seen the series!

The Animals of Farthing Wood  **

The Dragon Prince - I’ve heard Tumblr chatter in a general sense, but no details.

The Hollow  **

The Loud House  **

The Super Mario Bros. Super Show  **

Thundercats - I fucking loved Thundercats as a kid, hahhaha, there is no way it holds up.

Totally Spies - I’ve had several Patreon livestreams with the show, so have a pretty good general sense of the show at this point. I’m not sure it’d make a good liveblog, though.

Venture Brothers - I think it features a blond buff dude in a black t-shirt?

Wakfu (French dub) - Oh hey, this was a free to play game at PAX one year! That’s it, that’s all I know.

Winx Club  **

X-Men: The Animated Series (90s) - DID SOMEONE SAY X-MEN??? I love this show. Hubby and I still to this day quote this show. This show is not good.

X-Men Evolution - Evo, on the other hand, is EXCELLENT. One of the single best incarnations of the X-Men, in my opinion. Seen all eps multiple times, love it, can talk for a hideously long time about details you never in your life cared about, will probably not make it through an episode, please consider if that is a point for or against it before you vote. (previous liveblog)

Live Action

Agent Carter - Saw the Captain America movie, that’s it!

American Gods - Read the book

Atypical - I know the premise very loosely, and it sounds good, but I’d be a little concerned about accidentally stomping in all the wrong places with my giant clumsy neurotypical feet.

Babylon 5 - I know it’s a sci-fi classic, and I’ve been assured there are characters I would love, but haven’t seen it.

Batman (Adam West series) - A SERIOUS LIVEBLOG WILL RESULT I’M SURE

Black Mirror ("White Bear") - This episode still fucks with me to this day. It’s exceptional, and also very very complicated. This would be a heavy liveblog, be warned. (previous Black Mirror liveblogs)

Brooklyn 99 - I’ve only watched a bit of this and enjoyed it, but like most sitcoms, it’s incredibly difficult to liveblog. (previous liveblog)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - One of my live’s greatest televisual loves. Joss Whedon and time have mostly driven that out of me, but letting my ego out to play for a second, I have to say, I give some pretty good Buffy. (previous liveblogs)

Cagney & Lacey - A formative favourite for tiny baby Jet Wolf! It’s a cop procedural, with all the downsides that implies, but also it’s lady cop BFFs AND I LOVE IT AND THEM

Carmilla - A current staple of the blog, thanks to @cello-moon! I’ve just started Season 3, and if you’re a regular around here, you know how all this goes. (previous liveblogs)

Charmed (1998) - I know of it, very very loosely, but never watched it.

Charmed (2018) - Also loosely known, but even less so!

Cloak and Dagger - I’m burned out (and just burned) from Disney’s Marvel garbage, but I know Cloak & Dagger from the comics, am that only makes me more surprised this show exists.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - I never picked this back up after THE GIFTENING, but had a great time with what we watched! (previous liveblog)

Critical Role (The Night Before Critmas one-shot) - I haven’t seen this one shot, but I DO love me some Critical Role.

Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance - We watched the whole series, and I enjoyed it way more than I thought I would. PODLINGS ARE VALID AND HUP IS THE MOST VALID OF ALL

Dear Friends **

Derry Girls - Watched the whole thing a couple times now, absolutely adore it. One of the best shows I’ve seen in a while. Once again though, comedies can be SO hard to liveblog.

Dinnerladies **

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency - I’ve heard of the book series?

Doctor Who - I’ve tried SO HARD to like Doctor Who, and yet.

Doctor Who (City of Death serial) - See above, no thoughts on this serial specifically.

Elementary - I’ve seen the first three seasons, I think it is? They began to lose me with some season choices, but I love Sherlock and Joan SO MUCH.

Farscape - I watched the series when it was first on The Sci-Fi Channel, but they kept jerking the schedule around and it fell off my radar. Quite liked it though, as I recall.

Galavant - I SUPER BELIEVE IN YOU TAD COOPER (previous liveblogs)

Good Omens (miniseries) - Read the book and survived the miniseries consuming Tumblr, but didn’t watch it myself.

Hannibal - I remember when this was EVERYWHERE, but mostly I remember that it was very gay and had that guy from Rogue One in it.

Hellier  **

His Dark Materials - Haven’t watched it, haven’t read the books, I know nothing!

Kamen Rider (1971, ep 1)  **

Kamen Rider Fourze  **

Kamen Rider W  **

Kanpai Senshi After V  **

Killing Eve - I’ve seen some photo and gif sets, but haven’t watched it. I think they’re trying to murder each other? But also fuck? IT’S VERY CONFUSING

Legends of Tomorrow - I know it’s a DC show, and I think it has something to do with time travelers?

Leverage - I just watched and streamed my first two episodes last night on Patreon! Quite enjoyed it, more than I expected to.

LOST - Until proven otherwise, I’ll assume this was a troll nomination. GOOD GOD I HATE LOST

Lost Girl  **

Love Island (season 3)  **

Maho Sentai Magiranger  **

Midnight Dinner: Tokyo Stories  **

Murder She Wrote - Actual lol, I have no idea why this was nominated, but I love it and also you. ANGELA LANSBURY ON TV WE ALL WIN

Murdoch Mysteries  **

Once Upon a Time - The premise is fairytales all smooshed together I think?

One Day at a Time (2017) - I’ve watched all but the most recent season, I think. Good show, very enjoyable, but mostly “watch and forget” for me.

Orphan Black - Currently liveblogging, thanks to @skylineofspace​! I’m currently on episode 4, and absolutely loving it. (previous liveblogs)

Parks and Recreation - I’ve seen all but the last season, I think. Great show, but once again, I’d expect a difficult time liveblogging it.

Pushing Daisies - Never seen it. I think it’s about someone whose touch kills?

Re:Mind  **

Russian Doll - Never seen a single second, but I’ve heard nothing but good things through the grapevine.

Sapphire & Steel - HUBBY’S TROLLING ME AGAIN. This is an oooold old old English sci-fi/horror show that I used to watch when I was a tiny tiny Jet Wolf and it scared the shit out of me. I’M STILL MILDLY TRAUMATIZED BY IT TO THIS DAY

Schitt's Creek  **

Sense8  **

Shanara  **

Smash  **

Star Trek: The Next Generation - I love me some Star Trek. I’ve seen all of TNG, but haven’t sat down to fully rewatch the series ever, so most I only saw when they first aired.

Stargate SG1 - I think this is based on a movie I also haven’t seen.

Tantei no Tantei  **

Terrace House  **

The Good Place - OKAY SO THE GOOD PLACE. I watched the first two seasons and LOVED THEM. Mostly. I DO NOT love the Eleanor/Chidi thing. I do not love it to the extent that it completely sucked out my desire to continue with the show. I haven’t seen anything of it past the S2 finale. (previous liveblog)

The Haunting of Hill House - Watched and enjoyed the whole miniseries. I confess to being uncertain about liveblogging this though, as I feel Doc is doing it so much better than I could hope to do.

The Magicians & The Crown  **

The Mandalorian - I KNOW BABY YODA BECAUSE I AM A PERSON WHO EXISTS IN OUR MODERN WORLD (that is all I know)

The Middleman  **

The Tick (2016) - I know and enjoyed the cartoon!

The Untamed  **

Twilight Zone - Who doesn’t know the Twilight Zone, it’s a fucking classic for a reason.

Twin Peaks - Believe it or not, I have never seen a single second of Twin Peaks. I know it’s weird, I know Laura Palmer is dead, I know functionally nothing else.

Ultraman X  **

Westworld - Haven’t seen it, though I believe it’s loosely based on the movie of the same name which I HAVE seen.

What We Do in the Shadows (series) - I’ve seen neither the series nor the movie, but know it’s Taika Waititi and is reportedly hilarious.

Worst Cooks in America - WAIT AM I IN A TV SHOW

Xena: Warrior Princess - My OTHER great love. Adore Xena, adore everything about it (well, mostly), have devoted a not insignificant amount of my heart and brainspace to Xena, if you have me talk about Xena I may never shut up. (previous liveblogs)

Movies

Arrival  **

Atomic Blonde ** 

Barbie's The Princess and The Pauper ** 

Bedknobs and Broomsticks - Saw it a million years ago, remember functionally nothing.

Best in Show - Also seen a very long time ago, just the once.

Bohemian Rhapsody - I love Queen and Freddie Mercury, and I had exactly zero interest in watching this film.

Brave - A Disney/Pixar movie I actually liked!

Cabaret - I haven’t seen the film, though I did see the stage musical, and it fucked me up pretty hardcore for a while there. (Do not let that dissuade you from voting for it! I’ve been wanting to watch the movie. Trump had just been elected when I saw it performed AND WELL THERE WERE THINGS)

Captain Marvel - Haven’t seen it, but it’s one of the few later stage Disney/Marvel offerings I’ve had any interest in.

Captain Underpants  **

Carrie (1976) - ANOTHER SUPER OLDIE I’M SO DELIGHTED. I’ve seen it as well as read the book (both a very long time ago)

Castaway on the Moon  **

Cats (1998) - hahahah I SEE YOU YOU ASSHOLES

Chocolat  **

Clue (1985) - One of my personal favourite movies, though I did stream it not too long ago for my Patreon.

Coco  **

Crank  **

Crimson Peak  **

Dale and Tucker vs Evil - I’ve never seen this, but have wanted to.

Detective Pikachu - Saw this in the theater, and I’m still not sure if I actually enjoyed it or not.

Equestria Girls Rainbow Rocks - THIS IS A MY LITTLE PONY THING ISN’T IT

EVA  **

Fate/Grand Order: First Order  **

Flash Gordon - Delicious, cheesy fun.

Frozen 2 - I won’t be able to stream this if it’s not been released when it’s GIFTENING time, so just keep that in mind. Also please note that I have not seen Frozen 1. I only just, a few months ago, heard “Let it Go” for the first time. TRUE STORY.

Godzilla: King of Monsters  **

Happy New Year (Bollywood) - I legit love Bollywood films, this sounds delightful.

Here Alone  **

Home  **

Hoodwinked!  **

Hot Fuzz - LOVE HOT FUZZ

How to Train Your Dragon  **

Howl's Moving Castle - I haven’t seen it, but I’ve had a few other Miyazaki films voted in for GIFTENING and Patreon, and I haven’t really enjoyed any of them. I’M WILLING TO TRY AGAIN. Just keep in mind, they may not be for me.

Hustlers  **

In Her Shoes  **

Inside Out  **

Interstellar  **

It's Such a Beautiful Day  **

Jennifer's Body  **

Jojo Rabbit - I wasn’t able to see this when it was at our local indy theater, and I regret missing it. I’d love to see it, but I’m not sure with my goyische commentary would be the best delivery method.

Jupiter Ascending - Love this beautiful dumb film, omg. I’ve streamed this for previous GIFTENINGs though, if that’s a thing to care about.

Klaus  **

Knives Out - Very keen to see this, but it may not be out on dvd/streaming before THE GIFTENING, so bear that in mind.

Last of the Blonde Bombshells  **

Legally Blonde - I’VE ACTUALLY NEVER SEEN THIS. I feel like I have, from all the gifs and shit, but nope!

Love Never Dies - Oh my god is this the Phantom sequel, why do you all hate me.

Mad Max: Fury Road - LOVE IT. I’ve done it for THE GIFTENING before, though, just a note.

Madoka: Rebellion - (copied from Rebellion in Anime)  I saw the Madoka series (fairly ambivalent to it), and heard the movie was terrible, but no clue why, specifically.

Man from UNCLE  **

Masters of the Universe (He-Man, 1987) - This movie is so fucking bad hahaha

Midsommar  **

Monster High: Fright On  **

Muppet Christmas Carol - Just watched this during Holligay’s Eight Days! I’m not sure it’s really in my wheelhouse, being relatively lukewarm on both A Christmas Carol and the Muppets, but I’d do my best!

Murder on the Orient Express  **

Newsies (1992)  **

One Cut of the Dead  **

Pacific Rim - I saw it in the theater and actually didn’t care for it over much. I’d be willing to give it another shot though, it might be better second time around.

Pan's Labyrinth - I’ve streamed this film a couple times now, I think, but it’s a good one, so I’m up for another go if you guys want!

Parasite (2019)  **

Perfect Blue  **

Pleasantville  **

Promare  **

Redline  **

Resident Evil  **

Return to Oz - I saw this as a kid and haven’t again since. TAKE THAT INFORMATION AS YOU WILL.

Rock-a-Doodle  **

Searching (2018)  **

Secret of Nimh - LITTLE JET WOLF LOVED THIS MOVIE. Adult Jet Wolf hasn’t sampled it.

Spaceballs - I’ve watched the shit out of Spaceballs. I love a parody, I’m shameless.

Speed Racer (2008) - I’ve only seen this once,but actually enjoyed it more than I expected to.

Spice World - I legitimately love this movie. I’m not sure it’s GOOD but it’s a thousand times better than it has any right to be.

Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse - Good movie, lots of fun, I streamed it not too long ago on Patreon.

Star Wars - IT’S STAR WARS

Star Wars Holiday Special - I’ve never watched this, and I’m not sure how excited I am to change that fact.

Street Fighter (1994) - I HAVE ONLY HEARD THE LEGENDS

Summer Wars  **

Super Mario Brothers - Oh .. this can’t be good ...

Tale of Tales  **

Tangled - I’ve seen it, but didn’t have strong opinions one way or the other.

The Adventures of Tintin  **

The Great Muppet Caper - I’m sure I’ve seen this, but fuck if I can remember anything.

The Last Jedi (hatewatch) - WELP

The Living Wake  **

The Lost Boys - It’s not a good movie, and I love it.

The Mummy (1999) - Streamed recently on Patreon!

The Rezort  **

The Road to El Dorado - I’ve seen it, I want a Sailor Moon AU of it.

The Room - I know it’s considered one of the worst films ever made, but I’ve never had the personal privilege of experience.

Tokyo Godfathers  **

Us (2019) - Saw it in the theater, totally down for seeing it again with perspective on the whole movie.

Venom  **

Wall-E - Probably my favourite Pixar film!

Wayne's World - Saw it back when! Does it hold up? WHO KNOWS

What We Do in the Shadows (movie) - As mentioned above, I’ve never seen it, but I’ve heard it’s an amazing Taika Waititi joint.

When Marnie Was There  **

Wolf Children Ame and Yuki  **

X-Men 2 - GOD I LOVED THIS MOVIE. I’m not sure how well it would hold up, but when it came out? One of the few films I’ve paid to see multiple times in the theater.

Your Name  **

Games

Ace Attorney (blog) -  I’ve tried multiple times with the Ace Attorney games, and I must be honest and say I just don’t like them.

Amnesia: The Dark Descent - I’ve watched a playthrough! The story’s not good. THE IDEA OF PLAYING IT STRESSES ME OUT SO HARD HAHAHAH YOU FUCKS

Among the Sleep (stream)  **

Arkham Knight (main story run) (stream) - Very intrigued to play this. I’ve tinkered a bit, but get distracted by all the side stuff. The motivation to just streamline the story very much appeals.

Baba is You (stream) - I’ve heard great things about the game, but in a “It was great!” way, I still know fuck all about it.

Black Closet (blog)  **

Borderlands (stream) - Love Borderlands, it’s fun as hell. I’d probably angle for Borderlands 2 over the first, but would have a good time however it went.

Catherine Classic  **

Cho Aniki  **

Control (stream) - I’ve seen a little bit on Steam, just enough to know I’m interested.

Cthulhu Save Christmas - Never heard of it, but great title.

Cuphead (stream)  **

Danganronpa  **

Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc (blog)   **

Dead by Daylight (stream)  **

Death Stranding  **

Death Trips  **

Detention (stream)  **

Disco Elysium (blog) - I’ve heard great things, would be totally okay with a reason to play it.

Doki Doki Lit Club (stream) - I was so intrigued with this from THE GIFTENING a couple years ago that I wanted to work it into the main schedule, but it just didn’t happen. 100% on-board the chance to keep going!

Dragon Age: Origins (stream) - I KEEP STALLING WHENEVER I TRY TO REPLAY THIS GAME SO I CAN MOVE TO DA2 THIS IS MY PERSONAL HELL

Dragon Quest Builders 2 (stream)  **

Dream Daddy - I know the premise, and the idea of blogging this is beautiful.

Final Fantasy X (blog) - Have I played X? (asks Hubby) YES I HAVE. It’s one of the few that I finished. Final Fantasy games usually entail so much grinding that I’m not sure it’d be a great liveblog, but I’d do my best!

Firewatch - I’ve been wanting reasons to play this SO MUCH.

Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective (stream) - I’m preeetty sure everyone just wants to hear how many terrible accents we can do. And that’s legit! I’ve since figured out how to play mobile games on my PC so the video quality would be better than last time, but that is the only improvement I could promise. (previous stream)

Gris  **

Half Dead 2 (stream)  **

Hand of Fate 2 (blog) - I think this is a card game?

Hatoful Boyfriend/Pigeon Fucking (blog) - IS IT EVEN REALLY THE GIFTENING WITHOUT PIGEON FUCKING (previous liveblogs)

Hollow Knight  **

House Flipper (blog) - I’ve tentatively had my eye on this on Steam for a while, so seeing this nominated tickled me.

Just Dance (stream) - Jesus wept, you all DO hate me. IF I HAVE TO DO THIS I WON’T DO IT ALONE

Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky (First Chapter) (blog)  **

Legend of Zelda (stream) - I AM SO BAD AT THIS GAME WHY

Life is Strange (blog) - See below!

Life is Strange (stream) - I streamed all episodes of Life is Strange a couple years back. While I’m not sure I’d have much to offer on a replay, I’ll happily do it if you guys vote it in. MEANWHILE, here’s a playlist with all the Life is Strange streams.

Life is Strange 2 - My understanding is it’s a separate game from the first with new characters and new story.

Life is Strange: Before the Storm (stream) - And I believe this is a prequel to the first Life is Strange featuring Max and Chloe.

Little Inferno (stream)  **

Long Live the Queen (blog) - YOU KNOW PINK PRINCESS (previous liveblogs)

Long Live the Queen (stream) (with walkthrough to not repeat) - I laughed so hard at the nomination specifically giving my ass a walkthrough.

Mass Effect 1 - I’ve played it multiple times! The Mass Effect series is one of my personal favourites.

Monster Prom (w/Hubby, Doc, & Jill) (stream) - AGAIN WITH VOICES I SEE YOU. It can be difficult to get everyone’s schedules all in alignment, so this may be subject to shuffling and delays, just to keep in mind.

Nancy Drew: Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake (stream)  **

Overwatch (stream) - I assume this is more group play? But we can talk details if it makes it into further heats.

Oxenfree (stream) - I’ve fully streamed Oxenfree on the Patreon. It’s well outside the exclusivity window at this point, and I’m happy to make those public if you guys were interested and would rather put your votes elsewhere. That said, I really enjoyed the game, and think a second playthrough could add a lot to the overall experience, so feel free.

Pathologic 2 (blog)  **

Persona 3 Portable (blog)  **

Pillars of Eternity (blog) - I’ve never finished Pillars of Eternity, but I do have a game with some significant progress I could continue. Alternately, I could roll a whole new character, and would play it however you guys chose. We have options if we go this route!

Pokemon Go (stream/videos) - Amazing. Here the link to last year’s Pokemon Go, if you’d like some idea of what the fuck this is about!

Portal (stream) - The Portal series is great, I think it does some really interesting and innovative ideas with gameplay. I’ve played and finished the first two, though remembering the solutions to any of those puzzles is, of course, another thing entirely.

Recettear: An Item Shop Tale (stream) - THIS WAS THE FIRST THING I EVER BOUGHT ON STEAM. I haven’t played it in forever, and I’m not sure how entertaining it would be, but I’m down for finding out!

Resident Evil 2 remake (blog) - IT’S ZOMBIES. That’s about all I know about Resident Evil.

Reventure  **

Sara is Missing  **

Shovel Knight (stream)  **

Slime Rancher (blog) - I have and have played Slime Rancher! I’m a little unsure about blogging it, but would try!

Slime Rancher (stream) - I WASN’T EXPECTING SUCH A RUSH FROM THE SLIME RANCHER FANDOM THIS YEAR

Stanley Parable - I think Hubby’s played this? I seem to recall it has a narrator who comments on what you do, but I don’t know much else.

Stardew Valley (blog) - I’ve never gotten as far in Stardew Valley as I’ve felt I would. Lots to do for me, yet!

Stardew Valley (stream) - Same as above, just in stream form!

Subnautica (stream) - I’ve done several Subnautica streams for Patreon, and if this gets through, I’d release them so everyone (who wants to) can catch up. If I recall, my last play left off with me exploring a big ass ship that crashed.

Superluminal  **

Tales from the Borderlands - It’s Borderlands, but Telltale, though!

Tales of Symphonia  **

Team SASV (Pokemon X/Y) - TEAM SASSY AND SOMEWHAT VAIN. If this gets in, I’ll need all the intervening time to try and find my fucking DS. (previous liveblogs, via the backup)

The 7th Guest (blog)  **

The Beginner's Guide (stream)  **

The Long Dark   **

The Outer Worlds - I haven’t played this yet but would be extremely delighted for an excuse to pick it up and start.

The Walking Dead game - I watched Hubby play the first two installments, haven’t seen beyond that. Felt the second was weak, LOVED the first. I’ve been hanging on Holligay’s playthrough, so I’m relatively familiar with the story again, save the last episode, which she’s not played yet. I’ve been wanting to before she did, to compare what I think she’ll do to what she actually does, so an excuse to get going on that would be welcome.

The Witcher 3 (stream) - I know @jewishsuperfam loves The Witcher, AND THAT IS ALL I KNOW.

Undertale (blog) - AREN’T I LIKE TWO MINUTES FROM FINISHING THIS. The fight where I left off was frustrating THE PISS out of me, but if this gets in, I’ll get Hubby to read up on what I need to do, and maybe get around that fight before the liveblog, so I don’t spend the whole time getting nowhere and then punching my monitor.

Untitled Goose Game (stream) - I just last month finished this on the Patreon! I need to double check that it would be out of the exclusivity window, but if so, I’d be happy to release it for you guys. I had a great time, but I don’t think there’s much to be regained from playing it again.

VA-11 Hall-A (blog)  **

VooDoo Vance: Remastered  **

Wattam  **

We Happy Few (stream) - I know the basic storyline premise, but little else.

What Remains of Edith Finch (blog) - I watched Holligay’s stream of this and loved the story.

Wild Arms 3  **

Wild ARMs XF (blog)  **

Yakuza 0 (stream)  **

Zero Escape 999 (blog)  **

AND THAT’S THAT. Sailor Moon Day and Miscellaneous don’t require much input from me ahead of time, I don’t feel, but if you have a question on anything there -- or something that’s unclear here, just shoot me an Ask. AND IF YOU FOUND THIS USEFUL PLEASE LET ME KNOW. It took me ... just SO much longer than I was expecting it to. Which I don’t mind, but if it’s not actually helpful to anyone, that’s time better spent elsewhere next year.

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E42 (November 20, 2018)

Dani was actually goofing around quite a bit here, but this still makes me think of some glorious 90s band, so I’m keeping it.

Anyway! The inimitable @eponymous-rose has done more than her share of recaps lately, so here I am picking up where I’ve been slacking off. Tonight’s guests are Marisha Ray and Laura Bailey (with special guest appearance from Ronin! Awwww), so I can hardly wait. We’re discussing Episode 42: A Hole in the Plan.

Tonight’s announcements: Brian is bursting with an announcement he’s not allowed to reveal for another six months. His favorite guess: something about him stealing all the money from the company and moving to an island, but that’s actually his long game, not the short one.

Throughout November, they’re raising money for Operation Supply Drop, Travis’s favorite charity, which supports both active and retired military.

No episode of Critical Role this week due to Thanksgiving. There will also be no episode of Talks Machina next Tuesday; instead, they’ll be airing Sam’s Fireside Chat! This was a reward from the Critter donations to the Pablove Foundation.

Critical Role hoodies are back in the store; the print is very similar to the original with a bit more embellishment on the text on the back.

“Honey Heist 3: Tova’s Honies” airs this Friday at 7pm Pacific! Marisha: “It was bear-nanas.” Laura: “Oh, no.”

CR Stats: Jester has cast Blessing of the Trickster 31 times; 15 of those times were on Nott. Jester technically won her bar brawl with Sorris! She dealt 16 points of damage to his 15. Beau continues to have the most natural 20s with 49. She also has the most natural 1s, womp womp. Marisha: “Well, I roll a lot, you know?” Brian: “Well, your husband is also a tyrant and not to be messed with.” Marisha says she thinks Gil’s die is cursed and everyone gasps. How dare.

Does Brian feel the pressure of following Dani, who was such an excellent host last week? No; when he went through the potential list of fill-ins, the only one that made sense was Dani.

Marisha sees Darktow as a super-abusive socialist society, which does not sit well with Beau. It’s a silk trap.

Jester’s conversation with Caleb was triggered by Fjord’s kiss, especially with her wondering if it really meant anything to either of them. Laura thinks of her high school crushes and how hard you crushed & how devastated you were at every perceived slight; Jester only has the view of romance through her mother, which means physical affection is very different from emotional affection in her mind. On Brian’s asking, Laura’s high school crush was Han Solo. When Laura’s sister was 12, she paid her $15 to paint Han and Leia in a dip kiss, which she still has framed in her current house. I’m dying, this is adorable.

Beau doesn’t exactly trust that Fjord is going to do the right thing, but him sleeping with Avantika doesn’t trigger her red flags in terms of “looking out for each other, keeping each other in check.” She’s looking more for them bullying someone when they don’t need to, being violent when it’s not necessary. “Pursuing power to endless depths and fucking hot pirates, that’s fine with Beau. She just doesn’t want to kill children.” Brian marvels at how this fits into Jester & Caleb’s conversation about killing people from the most recent episode.

Jester can tell Caleb is tortured, and more than anything she wants people not to be sad around her. She just wants desperately for him to be happy.

Marisha has thought a ton about what Beau would have said if Jester had come to her first about the kiss, especially since it was Jester’s first kiss (Marisha assumes, and Jester answers in an adorably non-committal not-not-a-negative). Beau would have been game for it. She doesn’t know if Beau would have given good advice, but she would have tried her best.

Brian spills that Mary’s character’s CHA in their home game is 6. They discuss Nott’s score of 5 and enjoy themselves mightily at both of their expenses.

GIF of the Week! By @ropadoper, it’s Liam casting Reduce and then the Wall of Fire at the end of the episode, both of which involve Marisha falling out of her chair to the floor in reaction so that only her forehead is visible. Everyone is being so cute this episode I can hardly stand it.

As a reminder, an international shipping facility has been created in the UK. Laura asides to tell Travis the keys are in the diaper bag. Literally everyone is in the studio tonight except Sam, EVEN ASHLEY.

Jester thinks the Traveler always gives very good advice, but his suggestion to trick Fjord was the first time ever she felt a little hesitation to follow his advice. Brian: “Is that because he’s never been wrong or because she’s never been allowed to disagree?” Laura says it’s always been amazing advice so far, much more a best-friend relationship, but this was the first time she didn’t want to take his suggestion wholesale because she wasn’t sure it’s how she wanted to get Fjord to like her. Marisha really likes the dynamic of finding out your childhood best friend is a god.

Beau finds herself still being careful with her walls--Marisha imagines Beau was put in a lot of, like, pageant dresses as a kid--so when Jester commented on her hair and then laughed, she felt a little of that “wait, what, do you actually care? Do I look like shit?” Laura says she laughed, not Jester, because it was the most random thing to compliment Beau on.

Beau’s haircut came into being because it was cool & because Marisha wishes she were brave enough to try an undercut.

Brian’s convinced Fjord’s got gills. Dani: “What do you think Fjord is?” Brian: “Obviously a water man. Water genasi. What are water genasi?”

Beau wasn’t surprised Allison rejected her; she’s used to it. Ack. She was looking for an ally against Avantika, Big Brother style. “Instead she just shat in an alleyway with Nott.”

Laura’s not perturbed the Traveler hasn’t mentioned Fjord’s god; he doesn’t really talk about/care about other gods or patrons. Brian suggests he’s actually the Dongfather in disguise. This show’s collective mental age is smaller than Pike, haha. 

Beau felt like such an interloper when Sam asked her to help with Fluffernutter, like the best friend trying to be in on a joke without really knowing what’s going on. Marisha also takes a moment to praise Laura for her Jester over the last few episodes; she’s digging into the metaphorical popcorn every time Jester & Nott start going off. (Me too, bud.) Jester’s description of the insect carrying a piece of bread is one of her favorite D&D moments ever. Both Marisha & Laura are agog at how many little plans they’ve tried have gone disastrous and then circled back around to being mostly okay again.

Beau was a little hurt when she wasn’t asked to help break into the captain’s quarters, since that’s her specialty, but it was eased by being able to help with her knowledge anyway. However, she knew since she didn’t have any magic, she had no escape plan aside from jumping off the boat. She laughs that that’s what they ended up doing anyway. 

Jester views sex as a transaction, which is why she’s not particularly bothered by Fjord sleeping with Avantika.

Fanart of the Week: @jdillustrates, with a lovely portrait of Caduceus.

Jester’s warring between the logical part of her brain (he was saving her life) and the romantic part of her brain (did he want to kiss me, though?).

There are reasons Beau learned Deep Speech--not as complicated as most people think--that will be revealed eventually. “Nerdy reasons, not because she was kidnapped and turned into a cultist.”

Fjord/Avantika does make her jealous, but it’s also serving a purpose. Laura compares it to telling the high school crush to go hang out with a best friend, only to have them start dating.

Marisha doesn’t feel like Beau’s plans were overly shot down this episode--it’s something she hadn’t even noticed until this question. Marisha feels like it’s so much of a group effort with everyone trying to get to the right plan that it’s hard to pick out who contributed what part of which plan.

Brief interlude to examine a portrait of Brian that looks like George Michael.

In re: the Molly disguise: Beau felt like there was just a wall of regret walking towards her, because it was the friend she let die and the one-night stand. Beau never felt it was actually Molly, though. Jester picked Molly because when Nott said “Keg,” she instantly associated it with “someone who is really cool--who’s also super cool?” Everyone commiserates over how into the night’s shenanigans Molly would have been.

Beau was frustrated while being detained, but she also knew it was going to happen, so it wasn’t a huge issue. She felt like that was where the challenge began for her--anything to get the guard away from what was going on. 

Another brief interlude where everyone experiments with how to make power vaginas with their hands. “This is the car salesman power vagina.” I feel like wherever the rails are for this show, they’re so far gone they might as well be little stars in the sky.

Laura thinks Jester’s reaction to Caleb’s backstory would be much different than Caleb imagines it. Both Laura & Marisha talk about how Caleb’s convinced the moment people realize, they’re gone; there’s also the complication that Beau’s “comforting” is not actually that comforting. “She’d say, ‘you know, they won’t care,’” (which Marisha points out, Caleb would respond--how could someone not care about this?) when what she means is, “They love you and won’t abandon you over this.”

Laura and Marisha are both pumped about Caleb’s Wall of Fire--the walk to the dock was like “getting called to the principal’s office, except the principal is going to kill you.” Laura’s immediate reaction was regret she’d tossed the gems, but she loved his decision since she was panicking IRL & her heart was legit pounding. They also both get super enthusiastic bashing Nott’s plan to dump the haversack in an alley. “It’s bright pink! Someone would have definitely seen it!”

Marisha really misses Professor Thaddeus, but is convinced she’ll never see him again. Dani: “He’s your Nymeria, your Arya.” Marisha, tearfully: “He’s gonna come with his flock of owls and gouge out everyone’s eyes but ours.”

Laura’s convinced Sprinkle is magic, since he definitely should be dead twice over.

Quebec is for Lovers: After Dark edition

Neither Laura nor Marisha are cooking this year. Laura & Travis have no Thanksgiving plans at all this year. My gosh, if they were here my parents would be stuffing them full of turkey yesterday, even though they have no idea who they are.

Brian teases Max over messing with Trinket & carrying him back and forth in his car. Dani wants one TM where Brian isn’t mean to Max. Max, offscreen: “I’m FINE. I’m GOOD.” Marisha laughs that Max was okay with Brian’s teasing but shooting daggers at the TDs laughing.

Brian gives Dani an A for amazing and adorable, but not asshole.

Dani ships Percy/Vex, Keyleth/Vax, and Fjord/Jester. Close after is Kima/Allura & Caleb/Jester. She would be surprised if it happened, but wouldn’t object. Marisha asks, as a shipper, what does Dani look for in a quality ship. Dani likes clear feelings with clear reciprocation, canon connections; she doesn’t ship a ton of subtexty stuff.

Laura has been relistening to Vex’s playlists & crying. Both she & Marisha really miss Vex & Keyleth. Liam texted Laura the other day a fanvid of Vex & Vax that made her cry.

Marisha gets emotional seeing fanart of older Keyleth because it means that she’s living on & being happy. Noelle also came up & thanked Marisha for giving Tova a purpose after the latest Honey Heist, and everyone talks about how many hours they’ve spent creating and living in these people.

Marisha can’t listen to Tokyo Sunrise by LP anymore because it instantly makes her cry.

Beau is not a mindflayer. Everyone’s convinced, Marisha.

If Laura had Jester’s paint set, she’d draw home improvements. She’d draw a door for her bathroom into Ronin’s nursery. Marisha would draw more producers--”Not to undermine the ones I have! We’re so overworked!”

Brian looks to Max for the time left, only to have missed Dani literally just giving him the signal.

Brian starts to say he’ll see us next week, but Dani tells him not to confuse us since there’s no TM next week. Brian: “We’ll see you next week this Thursday Critical Role on youtube.com, Logan Paul guest starring, along with Paul Rudd, Rudney Dangerfield...”

Max, as the sound fades: “Okay, please...”

And that’s it for tonight. See you next time, everyone!

[kimabutch]

started crying listening to Tambourine N Thyme by Nana Grizol as a mollymauk song, i feel like it embodies him so well, just how ready he is to experience life. it has a verse that reminds me of how taliesin said that he’s never really been alone as long as he remembers and he wouldn’t know what to do if he was, and just how much good he has and wants to do

Awww, I feel you on this and it’s a very sweet song. I particularly love:

“And if I make a big mistake/ If anything well then it won't take forever just to find myself again/ In a subjective sense we've seen a lot, yeah we make the best of what we've got/ All we are is everything and everyone we've ever been” 

For what you said — how ready he is to experience anything — and also how even his fake personas are part of him, bits of experience he’s picked up along the road with the circus. 

And I think your comment about Molly not knowing how to be alone is very apt — I really like “I can sleep alone tonight, I feel weird but that's alright” for that. 

Come yell at me about songs that remind you of Critical Role — but please note that there’s a long delay in responses! (Playlist | song spreadsheet & masterlist by disasterhumans | CR music tag)

[tenseoyong]

A-Z NSFW: Kai

Cr.

Donate | Masterlist

A = Aftercare 
 Kai’s definitely going to be a guy that’s going to take care of you well. He’s got dogs that are practically his kids, his niece, Taeoh, on Yummy Yummy he said he wanted to know how to cook so he can help his wife. He’s going to take care of you, and happily do it too. He’s one that’s got a warm rag on stand by, lotions and things are waiting in the bedside.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 
 We all know the golden part on Jongin is his hips, c’mon. He relishes in how him just dancing can get you all hot and bothered, watching the sharp thrusts and fluid rolls. I’m not even going to try and act like he’s not a basic lil horny boy. He likes your boobs. No use hiding it. He’s almost kid-ish with his touching fixation he has with you, he likes squeezing the soft bits of you, that includes ya titties. 

C = Cum 
 Kai’s still pretty young, I don’t think he’s quite mastered the art of not making a fucking mess with his male tears. He’s pretty messy, and very vocal when he cums. He’s a pretty loud moaner with you in general, but when he finishes, he goes up a good 4-6 notches in volume. 

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) 
 While he’s really touchy feely with you, he’s got somewhat of a voyeur kink, that he hasn’t revealed to you yet. Kai has such open play with you, that he likes toying with the idea of not being allowed to touch you, and just having to watch you play all by yourself while he’s squirming in his seat. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
 Between him and Sehun borrowing Noonas’ phones and returning them with the history deleted, and he was the only one of him and Sehun who understood the dick joke the lady on Yummy Yummy said, I’m pretty damn sure his ass knows about dicks and sex and the whole shabang. He knows too much about moving those damn hips too. If he hasn’t had sex, then I wanna know who taught him that shit. He’s easily taught though, so if he doesn’t know what’s going down, he knows enough from watching things to know what to do, he’s just gotta apply his knowledge to you.

F = Favorite position
 Knowing he needs proper room to work the magic that is Kai’s hips, doggy style is usually what he prefers. You laid out before him, exposed to his eyes, and unknowing of when he’ll strike. From behind, he’s able to get his grab on, let his hands wander around your back, easily reach around and touch your chest, grab a handful of your ass, and be able to unleash the beast that is his thrusts? it’s the best of all worlds in his eyes.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
 Kai’s a typically lighthearted and goofy guy in most situations, I don’t see any way that doesn’t spill over into his sex life. Although sometimes he likes to play that there’s a difference between Jongin(ur soft lil bby bf) and Kai(ready to fuck you into next week), in general, the atmosphere isn’t tense or serious, it’s all fun with him.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they) He whips those abs out so much, my Nana makes so many jokes about his lil nip nops it kills me. Not much hair in sight, and he’s very clean and put together but he does have stubble a lot so I don’t think he shaves every day. I think he grooms down there, but it’s not very frequently, maybe a few times a month. 


I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
 [Back to Aftercare] He’s very loving, and caring, and he’d be the most romantic you can imagine. He’s the classic kind of romance, maybe a few candles but mostly he’s very vocal during sex, cooing about how perfect you are, how well you take him, how much he loves you. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation)
 [Back to using the Noona’s phone....] Kai almost always has his hand on his dick, let’s be honest. I think it’s hilarious he’s playing a character that addicted to video games and porn, that’s practically him at this point. He’s all the time in the bathroom, or always in the shower. He’s not fooling anyone, but we’ll just let him think he’s being sneaky. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) I lowkey think Kai has(i think this is what its called) exhibition kink? Or is it voyeur? Idk, whatever, he likes being watched with you. He doesn’t necessarily want a threesome, but it’s been toyed with in convo, that you might try out at some point with having a third person just watch. He watched porn with sehun dont play me i know whats going on


L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)
 Kai will pretty much nail you anywhere, he’s not a stickler for location. Seeing as Chan’s the lockpick master, a locked door doesn’t even matter so with the amount of times Chan has gotten into the bathroom while Kai’s in there...Kai just doesn’t care anymore. He favors the bathroom though, he likes plopping some nice bathbombs in the tub and spending some relaxing time with you before he takes you for a ride. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
 Grindings kind of his thing, all you have to do is trick him into back hugging you and roll your hips back into his crotch, and he’s sweeping you off to find a closet or bathroom or practice room to bend you over. 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
 While he does have a thing for being watched, under no circumstances will he agree to a threesome, no matter who the third person is. Kai’s pretty protective and possessive, which is why he likes being watched, it sends a pretty clear message that you’re his and they can watch all they want but they can’t touch you like he can, can’t make you moan like he can, can’t make you cum like he can. It’s a show of dominance to him.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
 I don’t trust his tongue tbh Kai’s more of a fan of being in you, rather than your mouth or his on you. But of course foreplay is very important, and he doesn’t dislike going down on you, he’s actually really good at it, he’s just so impatient he’d rather get to the main event. He doesn’t turn down a bj, but again, he’d rather be in between your legs, rather than in your mouth. 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
 If his damn thrusts are any indication to how he is in the sack, Kai’s got a pretty fast pace. His thrusts are pretty unforgiving, and teeters on the line of being rough, but he’s good at reading your body if he’s being a little too rough.`

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
 Quickies are actually really frequent in your relationship, Kai’s a fan of being able to pull you away from the group or something for a fast pounding, more so because he likes seeing your face all flushed and hair a mess when you two return to the group and have to pretend like nothing happened even though everyone knows...they know..

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
 Kai’s really playful in the bedroom, if you or him want to try something, there’s almost a 100% chance you’ll test it out, at least once. Positions, toys, locations, kinks, etc, he’s game to try anything with you.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
 Kai’s still young, and he’s got a lot of young boy energy still. Sex with him lasts a significant time, and dick entering stuff lasts a good 5-10 mins, but one round is all he can handle honestly.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) He’s got a few basics, just to bring in just for a little extra fun every once in a while. Some silk ropes, a blindfold, some interesting vibrating panties. They’re not used very frequent, but when they come out, he does enjoy them a lot.


U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
 Kai is a bit of a little shit, he’s really into teasing you a lot. He likes watching you twitch, and he gets off on you begging, so teasing is an all time favorite of his. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) He’s insanely loud, to the point you’ve joked and toyed with the idea of getting him a freaking ball gag. He’s a moaner, but hell that might as well be bumped up and call him a screamer, he’s so loud. 


W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
 Lord knows you’ve been walked in on more times than you can count, being walked in by the EXO members that you’re close to is already bad, but the dressing room backstage during an SM event when Kai’s squeezing a quick one on and you’re caught with your pants around your ankles and a dick in you by Taemin is top 5 worse moments of your life. Kai found it hilarious though...idiot boy...

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
 I have a fascination with Kai’s crotch. Is that weird? Same with Taemin and Hansol, I really like the guys that know how to tuck right and it’s practically completely flat in the front. 

but boi :)))))

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
 How may horny puppy references can I make? Bcuz that’s what he is. His sex drive is just a smidgen above average, just high enough that it’s a ‘did you seriously pop another boner? didnt we just do this smh’ kind of thing. He’s pretty much ready to go at any moment, and he’s turn on at the drop of a hat, so I’ll pray for your souls.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) I imagine Kai as a puppy tbh. After he’s had his little work out, he needs a nap straight away. So Kai falls asleep fairly quickly after you two do the do, even if he’s only got a few more minutes to spare, he’s done closed his eyes and he’s snoring. Night Night Nini. 

[blameblamebts]

I’ll Stay Pt.1

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Yoongi doesn’t like kids, he never will, or so he says. Except this one kid that reminds him a lot of himself, and he looks like him too. 

Genre: Romance / Slight angst

A/N: I got this idea from a request for “angsty Yoongi scenario with a happy ending”. The requester wasn’t specific on what they wanted so hopefully you’ll like this. It was supposed to be a one-shot but got too long rip. But enjoy!

gif cr.

A huff escapes Yoongi’s lips as he crosses his arms over his chest, the air cold enough to make his breath visible as it disappears into nothing.

What was he doing?

The kids screaming in excitement in the background had him furrow his brows, eyes shut in a frown.

What was he actually doing?

Yoongi didn’t like kids, and he didn’t even try to hide it, but how on earth did he end up here at a ski resort with a group of snotty six year olds, who couldn’t do anything by themselves and could produce more tears than a waterfall itself.

   “Uncle!”

Oh yeah that’s right.

Hearing the little girl’s screeching voice from a few feet away, out of breath, Yoongi looks up from his seat well away from the children. His niece waved her hands in the air getting his attention, and he nods to show her that he cares, but does he really? His niece giggles, her hands rubbing her red nose before running back into the game of a snowball fight, Yoongi guessed. He’s still surprised that he’s here, surprised that his sister even got him to show up.

   “Mr. Min, why aren’t you joining in like the other parents.” A woman dressed in what looked like a snow suit approaches him, a sweet smile playing on her lips.

Yoongi does his best to not frown at the woman, who was quite older than him, because he’d rather not join the kids and their parents in throwing balls of soft ice at one another.

   “I’m fine, thanks.” He says instead.

The lady sighs and takes a seat next to him, making the twenty-six year old stiffen in his seat, slowly edging away.

   “Come on now, you showed up late to this trip, and you won’t even meet the children? Nana said you were very sweet.” She says.

Yoongi sighs. Not because of what this lady was saying, but just imagining the piles of paperwork on his desk, and the confusion on the faces of his employees when they see that he didn’t show up at that very important meeting he tried to used as an excuse. But his sister really knows how to be persistent. Enough to somehow have Yoongi drive god knows how many miles just to catch up to the school bus the children were in.

   “I’m sorry Miss…—”

   “Choi.” She tells him.

   “Right, Miss Choi. I’m not feeling very well, and I’d rather sit here than go out into the snow and get even more unwell. You wouldn’t want me to fall sick now, would you?”

Miss Choi doesn’t look like she bought his excuse, because he looked perfectly fine, besides the red on his nose, but almost everyone had the color arise on the tip of their noses.

   “You should get some rest then, why don’t you go back to the room? I’ll send Nana in when we’re done with our activities for the day.”

Right. How could he forget, this trip was two days, meaning he had to not only stay here and try to get some work done in a hotel room, but he had to babysit his niece on top of that. He mentally groaned before nodding at the woman. She sighs as well because at least she tried, before holding her knees to stand up and walk away. Yoongi glances down at his cellphone that had no service on this goddamn mountain, hopefully the hotel wifi was better.

Yoongi doesn’t make it three steps away from his seat, when a flying ball of snow hits him straight on the side of his face, making the man groan a little louder in annoyance. His narrowed expression is enough to tell anyone looking that he’s ticked off, hand wiping at the cold ice from his face before he turns.

   “Watch it will you—” He ends short on his sentence, seeing the six year old, heavily bundled up, stare back at him with a blank expression.

   “You’re the one in the way.” His muffled voice replied loudly from behind the scarf wrapped around his neck.

Yoongi frowns, not because of the snowball that was hurled at him, but because the audacity this kid had to talk to him like that.

   “Look here kid—”

   “My name is Hyun.” He cuts Yoongi off.

   “Hyun.” Yoongi breathes out, not trying to get mad at a freaking six year old, although he was just a little ticked off at the moment.

   “Didn’t your parents teach you not to talk to grown ups like that?”

Hyun shrugs, walking up to Yoongi. Yoongi looks down at the boy who was so much smaller than him, now just inches away from him. He tugs at Yoongi’s jeans, signaling him to squat to his own level. Yoongi does, awkwardly. He’s surprised when Hyun starts wiping at Yoongi’s hair, soft mittens brushing away what was left of the melting snow.

   “You could have walked by the sidelines than straight into the snowball fight.” Hyun mutters.

For once Yoongi doesn’t know what to say back so he gulps down instead, staring at the boy across from him. From what he could see of Hyun’s face, the boy looked cute, he wasn’t going to lie. His jet black hair peeking from underneath his winter hat, and his concentrated eyes reminded Yoongi a lot of his own gaze.

   “Okay you can stand now.” He says withdrawing his hands from Yoongi’s hair, which wasn’t that wet anymore thanks to Hyun’s mittens.

   “Whose dad are you?” Hyun asks.

Yoongi breaks into a small smile shaking his head.

   “I’m no ones dad.” Which he said a little proudly, no offense to the other fathers of course.

   “So what are you doing here? Are you some sort of pedophile?”

Yoongi is taken aback by Hyun’s response, surprised that a six year old even knew how to pronounce ‘pedophile’, but still breaks into a chuckle afterwards.

   “I’m Nana’s uncle, Min Yoongi.” He shakes his head, arms sticking out for a shake, a habit from introducing himself to his clients and others at work.

Hyun looks at Yoongi’s large hands for a second before removing his right mitten. His hands are very warm even though he was rolling around in snow for so long, the feeling is soothing to Yoongi that has himself almost cup the little boy’s hand in his palm.

   “I’m Kim Joohyun.” The six year old correctly introduces himself.

Yoongi’s smile unknowingly grows bigger and he gives Hyun’s hand a little firm shake.

It’s a few minutes later that Yoongi finds himself back in his seat on the bench, this time however, Joohyun lounges back as well, his legs dangling from above the ground.  

   “So you only came with your mother?” Yoongi asks.

   “Yeah, she’s somewhere, helping the teachers I think.”

There’s some sort of spark in Hyun’s eyes as he talks about his mother, his gaze searching the expanse of the snowy setting, hoping to spot his mother somewhere. But unfortunately, he doesn’t and sighs, hands tugging at the scarf around his neck, allowing Yoongi to get a better look at his small face. Yoongi doesn’t know what to feel really. He thought the kid was cute, but no, he was adorable. The red of his nose and cheeks were very prominent on his somewhat pale complexion. He has thin, pink lips, that was covered in some sort of chap-stick maybe. The boy looked familiar to Yoongi, but he wasn’t sure who exactly he looked like.

It’s only a few seconds later that his own question is answered, when the familiar voice calls out to the six year old sitting next to him.

   “Hyun where have you been—”

   “Ma!” Hyun perks up, getting down from the bench before sprinting towards his mother.

But she’s frozen in shock, her legs rooted in spot as she stares with wide eyes at the man Hyun had been accompanying.

When Yoongi heard her voice, he knew. Glancing up, the expression in his face softens, gaze unreadable. His lingering gaze falls from her speechless figure, to the small six year old by her legs, staring up at her in confusion. And even though it has been so long since he had last seen her, the only thing going through his mind was that she lied.

…

Nine Years Prior

The room that Yoongi sat in was awfully quiet, and he didn’t know what he should do at the moment, sitting rather awkwardly in the living room. He stared at the set of stairs his friend had climbed up, telling him he would be right back, more than twenty minutes ago. Yoongi wasn’t the type to loiter around in someone else’s house, but he found himself glued to his seat, watching the girl on the couch across, reading through something on her laptop. She glanced up at him for what seemed to be the hundredth time. He glanced away, yet again, as if he hadn’t been looking at her. The silence continues to stretch on, neither of them saying anything to break it.

   “He usually doesn’t take this long getting ready.” She finally breaks the silence, and Yoongi feels like he could breathe again.

He clears his throat and nods, fingers running through his then blonde hairs.

He was sure they were late already, but it was just a party anyways, he didn’t really mind sitting here with her.

   “Is Yana gonna be there? That’ll explain why he’s taking his sweet ass time.” She laughs, looking at the stairs Yoongi had been staring at.

Yoongi broke into his own grin.

   “I forgot he was in love with her.” He chuckles.

She finally shifted in her seat, placing the laptop down.

   “Why haven’t I seen you before?” She questioned, squinting her eyes at his still form, on the sofa chair.

   “Namjoon and I are friends from work, recently acquainted.” He told her. With a smile

She let out a “hmmm”, lips parting to say something, and Yoongi frowns when she doesn’t because Namjoon almost galloped down the steps, his feet loud against the boards.

   “Ready to go?” He flashed the two a smile.

   “He’s been ready, you’re the one who took so goddamn long.” She said even before he can.

Namjoon rolled his eyes at her, putting on the jacket he held in his hands, while Yoongi somehow managed to stand, seeing that his legs felt like putty. He swore he never felt like this before, wondering what the hell was wrong with him.

   “Okay, we’re going then.” Namjoon announced.

   “Don’t drink too much!” She yelled out from behind.

   “Yeah yeah, mom.” He waved her off, and Yoongi chuckled at her scrunched up expression, the last thing he had seen before the door closed behind him.

His first encounter with her was awkward yes, but Yoongi found himself asking Namjoon about her as they sat in his car.

   “Who was that?” He finally asked.

Namjoon gave him a poker face.

   “Really? You’ve sat with her for forty freaking minutes and you didn’t even ask her?”

Yoongi returned a sheepish smile at the male next to him.

   “She’s my sister—Y/N.”

Yoongi nodded, making a left turn on the road.

   “I didn’t know you had a sister.”

   “She’s more like a mother that’s why.” He chuckled back.

And suddenly Yoongi wanted to know more about this mother-like sister of Namjoon’s.

…

   “Ma?”

Hyun tugs at his mother’s coat, and finally she glances down.

   “I’m cold.” He whines, and she nods taking his hand.

Yoongi watches her, still standing in the same place. She doesn’t know what to do, take her son inside, or talk to Yoongi, the man she hadn’t seen in years.

   “Hyun, Miss Choi is taking the class back inside, why don’t you go join them?” Her voice is low, and a little hoarse from the cold.

He sighs, but nods, his hands pulling up the hood of his jacket.

   “See you later Mr. Min!” Hyun waves, his voice completely different from how he had spoken to Yoongi earlier, as if he gained some sort of energy just from his mother’s presence.

Yoongi’s gaze falls down to look at the beaming six year old, a sudden lump forming in his throat as he attempts to smile. Hyun starts to walk away and Yoongi’s eyes linger on his distancing figure until he’s back inside. With Hyun gone, the two stood in the never ending silence, a few feet apart. Yoongi could not tear his gaze from her and she didn’t really know what to say.

She clears her throat, a low “Hey”, escaping her lips.

Yoongi finally feels like he could breathe. Her presence had always had that effect on him. His cold fingers run through his dark hairs as he takes a step forward. Then another one, and a few more. Until he finds himself standing in front of her. Her gaze is no longer on him, biting back she looks at the snow underneath their feet.

   “Y/N.” He finally breathes out.

She looks up at him, her glassy gaze looking into his own.

   “Yoongi.” She whispers in return.

The silence returns and Yoongi doesn’t know what to say yet again. He had question, plenty of questions but he didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable, even if he knew she lied about everything, and the kid that he had been talking to this whole time, couldn’t remember who he resembled, was his, of course he was his.

…

   “I warned you.” Yoongi groaned as he stumbled up the stairs, trying to hold Namjoon up with one arm and the railing with the other. The male under his grasp was beyond wasted, slurring gibberish as his eyes drooped.

   “Yana please date me!” Namjoon’s voice resounds aloud through the quiet house.

   “Shhh.” Yoongi found himself telling the drunk.

Yoongi wasn’t the type to enter people’s home without being invited. But when the homeowner himself, was drunk and ready to hurl himself out of a moving car, Yoongi didn’t really have a choice.

It was way past midnight, maybe one or two in the morning. Most of the lights were turned off, and Yoongi felt like a burglar with a really clumsy partner, who shouted incoherent words randomly. Finally making it to Namjoon obvious bedroom door, Yoongi tugs in inside until he’s at the foot of the bed, he threw Namjoon onto the mattress, a heavy sigh releasing his lips. The drunk was already unconscious and Yoongi groaned on his way out.

   “I’m never taking you out again.” He mumbled, rubbing at his shoulder because of the weight.

When he exited the bedroom he froze, eyes glued to Y/N’s figure as she looked at him in both confusion and sighing in relief.

   “Oh shit, it’s just you—”She held her chest, eyes closing for a split second. “I thought someone had broken in.”

She’s dressed in baggy sweats and a t-shirt, and her messy hair clearly told the male in front of her that she had been under the covers once. Yoongi found himself smiling at the sight.

   “What are you doing here anyways?”

Yoongi’s smile fell as he groaned once again, glancing back at Namjoon’s bedroom. Y/N let out a laugh as if she expected this.

   “Well thanks for returning him safely.” Her laughter ceased and she smiled at him softly.

When he had left their residence he was still smiling uncontrollably a part of him burning up, while another wondering if he was sick somewhere, why was he feeling such a way. Of course then he didn’t know he was already falling in love with his friend’s younger sister.

…

   “—and finally. Parents, guardians” One of the teachers begin to address the group of twenty. “I advise you give your children a warm bath, before dinner, which is at six.” She finishes with a smile.

Yoongi’s eyes never leave the back of Y/N’s head, who stood a few feet away from him. Y/N on the other hand was too scared to turn. She can feel his gaze on her, her ears tingling in warmth.

   “I’m sleepy.” Joohyun mumbles, a yawn escaping his lips.

Yoongi couldn’t help but smile at the sight, a swelling feeling in his heart.

   “Can I go play with my friend?” Nana tugs at Yoongi’s pant-leg, getting the dazed man’s attention.

He looks down at the bundled six year old and nods. Nana runs off. Looking up, his eyes lock with Y/N’s. She had a tense look in her eyes, and the way her fingers held onto Joohyun’s shoulders emitted some sort of fear has Yoongi’s gaze soften. She couldn’t hide it even if she tried, her worried expression giving it away. It’s just for a few seconds though before she looks away, kneeling down to Hyun.

   “Let’s go to the hotel room hmm?” She smiles and he nods.

Yoongi’s eyes follow her moving figure and soon so do his legs. They’re by the elevator when he reaches out, hands finally touching her. She turns feeling the tug on her shoulder, lips parting in shock when she sees Yoongi. He can’t formulate words for a few seconds and doesn’t get to even, because the elevator doors part, and he had to go back to Nana.

There is worry in his eyes, and she sees it as well.

   “I’m in room 4B.”

The words leave her lips in a soft tone, but they’re enough to calm his racing heart. She boards the elevator, Hyun’s fingers still clutched tightly in hers, and manages to give a small smile to Yoongi as the doors close.

…

Eight Years Prior

He watched the guy play with her hair as she spoke, fingers clutching on his drink, a bitter taste in his mouth. It’s been almost a year since he had met Y/N, but only recently did he find out that she had a boyfriend. His name was Jungkook, a guy two years her senior, and Yoongi didn’t know why, but he disliked Jungkook and the explanation would be… just because.

   “Enjoying?”

He turns to find Namjoon join him at the island counter across from Y/N and her boyfriend, speaking to a few other friends. He looked disgusted in the way Jungkook would cling onto her waist, and she would press a small smile to her lips while she looked back at him, before she returned back to her conversation. Of course Yoongi didn’t tell Namjoon that he hated his sister’s boyfriend. Instead he cleared his throat, nodding his head as he looked away.

It was New Year’s Eve, thirty minutes before the countdown, thirty minutes before the New Year. Yoongi was alone. Again. It was his fourth year spending without a partner, but he didn’t complain. He enjoyed his bachelorhood, until now.

   “How long have they been together? I don’t like them together” Yoongi wasn’t sure how that would have sounded to Namjoon who followed Yoongi’s gaze to his sister and Jungkook, but Yoongi still asked.

Maybe Namjoon deemed him slightly drunk, and didn’t say anything. Or maybe Namjoon had agreed, and still didn’t say anything.

   “Since she started University.” He told Yoongi

   “Ahh.” The words had left his mouth in a bitter mumble as he sipped his drink.

Namjoon went back to join Yana and a few friends by the fireplace. Yoongi continued to sip onto his drink, and somehow time passed.

   “Ten minutes, get your partners!” Someone had yelled from within the apartment, the television on full blast as everyone eyed the countdown.

Yoongi groaned, shuffling his way through the sudden crowd that formed around him before he made it to the balcony. Sliding open the door he froze seeing Y/N standing out there, looking out into the snowy night.

   “Oh—sorry.” He mumbled, turning.

   “You can stay.” She replied.

He halted in his steps before looking at her. She smiled, gesturing him to join next to her, and he did.

   “Pretty tight in there huh?” She asked, making small talk to break the sudden awkward silence that formed.

He glances back inside through the glass doors as he chuckled.

   “Stuffy, yes.”

Yoongi wondered if his words were coherent and he didn’t sound too drunk.

   “Where’s—”

   “He left.” She answered even before he could ask.

Yoongi fell silence and she turned to look at him.

   “You were gonna ask about Jungkook right? He left…we..had a fight.” She mumbled the last bit.

He didn’t know what to say, so he stood there rather awkwardly. Y/N sighed, leaning back on Yoongi, who stiffens feeling her form against his chest. She wasn’t aware, but he sure as hell was.

   “We’ve been fighting a lot these days. He says he doesn’t have time for me, but he doesn’t let me leave.” Her gaze grew glassy, but she didn’t dare look at Yoongi.

A frown took over Yoongi’s gaze as he gripped onto her shoulder, his his hands turning her around to face her.

   “He doesn’t deserve you then.” Yoongi told her, his gaze piercing into her startled ones.

He blamed the alcohol afterwards, but Yoongi kissed her. Tugging at her until his lips crashed against hers, he kissed her hard. And as if it was a scene from a movie, the sky lit up in fireworks. It was past midnight. It was a New Year, and Yoongi wasn’t alone.

________

To be continued.

Check out the Masterlist!

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Shield Hero 11 - 13 | Price of Smiles 12 (FINAL) | Morose Mononokean II 12 - 13 (FINAL) | Spec Ops Asuka 11 - 12 (FINAL) | My Roommate is a Cat 12 (FINAL) | Mob Psycho 100 II 12 - 13 (FINAL) | Yu-No 1 | Fruits Basket (2019) 1 | We Never Learn 1 | Kimetsu no Yaiba 1 | Kono Oto Tomare! 1 | Mayonaka no Occult Koumuin 1 | Fairy Gone 1 | Rendai Utena 1

Notably, Sarazanmai’s first ep isn’t here, but it’s a huge contender for making my spring watchlist.

Shield Hero 11

Okay, someone’s trying to remind me of Goblin Slayer, aren’t they…? *grumble grumble grumble*

I wonder if Naofumi has a Thunder move like those guys…?

Why isn’t Raphtalia, who was cursed by Rage Shield, affected, but Filo, who was eaten by the zombie dragon, is???

Price of Smiles 12 (FINAL)

Is Huey…not an a$$? Is he just really tsundere…?

Fingers don’t move that way, Layla…

Post-credits segment. Keep watching…

I feel like making Stella and Yuki meet off the back of Layla’s death was a bit much and pushing the button together was a bit…much-er, if that’s a concept. Anyways, see you next time!

Morose Mononokean II 12

The Cobweb = Above the Spider (by literally translating that ep title, that is).

I’m finally listening to Koura’s voice. Koura sounds like she’s always teasing Itsuki…

Jinja = Shinto shrine. That nuance is missing from the translation.

Why did that one track (when Itsuki was escaping) sound like Mission Impossible…?

What’s an analeptic? I can’t seem to pause the video…Update: Apparently my ad blocker was stuffing with the pause button. Also, an analeptic appars to be a restorative drug, or describing a drug as restorative.

Rippou sounds so enthusiastic (sarcastic) when Shizuku offers to make him tea.

Spec Ops Asuka 11

Wat. A girl in Thailand going “nya”? Update: Uhh…apparently the girl in Thailand…was Peipei??? Wuh???

Hmm…I never actually put 2 and 2 together regarding karate and the whip. It makes sense in retrospect, though.

“…sever the…” – Sever the…what, exactly?

I thought human!Giess didn’t exist anymore under that armour…so seeing him surprised me.

Sometimes I feel like I sympathise with Chisato more than Asuka or Kurumi…that’s how developed Chisato is.

Mob Psycho 100 II 12

Serizawa is playing Bomberman.

I like the symbolism of the umbrella as a “light”.

My Roommate is a Cat 12 (FINAL)

The ep title is “Kimi to Boku to” (You and I and…). Presumably it should end with “everyone else”…or something.

Wait, wasn’t Subaru’s umbrella handle round before??? It’s straight now!

What a waste of a perfectly good umbrella!

Somehow I knew Subaru would go to Nana once he needed cat knowledge.

*Subaru rescues Haru* - *cue Lion King song* Ahhhhhhh ze ban yaaaaaaaaaaa…or something like that.

Why is it that I want a dub for this so…darn…badly???!!! Wait…*record scratch* it already has one. Scratch that.

Shield Hero 12

“I can’t stop trembling,” Raphtalia says as she stands there, still as a statue…geesh.

I’d assume there’s a Meteor Shield in there for Naofumi as well…?

Come to think of it, we never learnt that weapon merchant guy’s name until now, huh? Elhart. I’ll try my best to remember it.

Spec-Ops Asuka 12 (FINAL)

Twin-headed Dragon Peipei, huh?

Morose Mononokean II 13 (FINAL)

*Fuzzy gets punched away* - Fuzzy, noooooooo!

In the same way Mob became a so-called “bishonen” for s2 ep 5 of his show, Hanae became kind of hot – but also kind of weird – for the finale.

Notably, the “Ashiya” Abeno is referring to is only Hanae…not Sakae at all. Hmm.

Mob Psycho 100 II 13 (FINAL)

“Bishonen” Mob returns!

I keep getting the feeling that Mob will sacrifice himself this episode. It’s a very Mob thing to do, but…I worry about him, because without him we have no show.

*explosion* - I wanna yell “KANEDAAAAAAAAAA!” Is that appropriate for this scene?

I LOLled at Dimple wearing Serizawa’s chunk of hair, haha.

Anyways, that was way too fun (and way too worrying at the end). See you next time!

Yu-No 1

Okay, first episode of this particularly meager season…coming right up!

I’ve never had to watch an ep on phone for subs before…I much prefer a bigger screen.

Okay…as soon as I heard Potato-kun say “Panties?” I knew I was in for a bad time. I’m watching based on the title and the series image, not the fact it’s based on an adult VN.

I can’t believe we have to be told about these ladies from the guys first…I feel sorry for Yuki.

I-Is Arima-mama the kind of person one would call a “MILF”…? I dunno since I don’t swing that way.

Seriously, how long ago did Potato-kun’s father die??? (I know his name is Arima Takuya, but…he’s “Potato-kun” to me, even as a joke.)

Potato-kun is so obviously following his…pen island, so to speak.

Ah, Potato-kun. The only time you make me laugh is when you humiliate yourself on public news. Thank goodness this show isn’t particularly lewd…yet.

It’s like Grand Blue…only with less drinking.

Seriously, why does Yuki call Potato-kun “boss”???

The one time I hear the name “Neumann”, it’s this time travel show, of all things…*remembers von Neumann architecture* Yup, that’s where I remember his name from. By the by, Googling “Neumann space” yields this site on travelling to the…stars? Wrong frontier, folks.

Okay, that was probably the least exciting way to pull off a big reveal like that. Drop.

Shield Hero 13

To be honest…I like Rise better…

“You’re are surrounded.” – I know you’re in a hurry to sub your content, CR subbers, but seriously?????

It’s always funny to see Motoyasu get a good socking from Filo, LOL.

Fruits Basket 1

I have zero experience with OG Fruits Basket outside 1 episode I didn’t really finish (but finishd the entire manga and may have caught a tiny bit of it - not enough to mark on anyone’s anime list as “complete” - while it was on TV), so…this’ll be interesting.

This is exactly as I remember it! Beautifulllllllllllll…so beautiful I wanna cry…(Keep in mind I binged most of the manga years ago, so it’s getting harder and harder to remember the exact story every day.)

Holeeeeeeeeeeee…sugar. I just realised how old Fruits Basket is! Also, rumour has it Motoko has differently coloured hair in the OG version, but I didn’t watch (or didn’t remember) that part, so…I don’t have a standard to hold her up to, really. Plussssss…I love how Motoko and her Prince Yuki fanclub are like Mean Girls. The reason I had to check up how old Fruits Basket is is because of that comparison. Mean Girls is from 2004, thereby being 5 or 6 years younger than Fruits Basket.

The angelic “ahhhhh” in the background really sold how good Tohru’s food was (for Hanajima).

This CGI fan is going to haunt me until the end of my days, isn’t it…?

Ouch…I think I just realised why Fruits Basket is so powerful (at the part where Tohru is working hard at her job). It resonates strongly with those who are lost in life. I found I couldn’t really relate when I first read it though, which may have been attributed to the fact I was…what, 13?...at the time.

Shigure, you a$$!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanna kick you for laughing at poor Tohru!!!!!!!!!!!

Photorealistic clouds…no. I think that Indian festival with the dye (I don’t remember which one it is off the top of my head) happened to my eyes…(i.e. my eyes…my poor eyes…)

I didn’t think Vickeblanka was capable of doing slower songs. This song’s kinda nice…but only because I heard the last few seconds of the ending (the rest was obscured by background noise and I don’t have time to play it again).

Between the comment about Shigure and the comment about the clouds, I was internally bawling about how stupid and spoilt I’d become. This is the power of Fruits Basket!

We Never Learn 1

Hmm…I thought the manga of this (or what I saw of it, at least) was kinda vanilla, so…this’ll be an experience, one way or another.

Yuiga’s face game is spot-on, LOL.

Aw, this show encourages the growth mindset…how cute. *does Kaguya-sama face*

The eyecatch is about what classes the main trio are in, but Furuhashi is taking it as related to boob size…*sigh*

The sign just says “library”. There’s no need to contextualise it more than that…

Yup, this is vanilla like ice cream…

Come to think of it, why did I pick this series up? I’ve read the manga parts that correspond to this episode…Well, I remember when this series was still new. I think it was that it was refreshing to see these guys so gung-ho about uni, because recently I’ve been in doubt about my own future (and to tell the truth, I’ve been thinking different things about what I want to do at different stages of my life anyway). I’ve literally only settled on the things I’m doing because I suck at everything else, but I can do whatever I put my mind to…for most things I try. Much like Fruits Basket is for those who are lost in life, We Never Learn is an affirmation that you can change your future…or something like that, anyway.

…The disembodied mouths creep me out…anyways, this show isn’t bad, it isn’t 100% a keeper either (unless I get co-opted into a collab for it). It’s just squarely in the middle.

Boob grope…eesh. That brought down the keeping factor down a little.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 1

[big chunk of information redacted because it’s me stressing over what has to be done before I go overseas...and also it reveals I had a collab for this lined up, which I’m trying to keep a surprise at the time this post went out]

To be honest, I don’t like 1st person cam.

Hmm…there’s more CGI than I’d like to admit is in here…

I remember reading a while ago that the “Tan” in Tanjiro is the word for “charcoal”.

Take = bamboo, and he’s a woodcutter kid. LOL.

This is exactly as I remember it! It’s kinda cool, since the smelling thing is obviously foreshadowing.

I remember I didn’t quite get the idea that Nezuko was growing in size in the manga…well, now I just did.

Oh-hoh-hoh-hohhhhhhh! Giyu Tomioka, me boy! There he is!

I didn’t know Giyu Tomioka was basically a ninja, LOL.

This is definitely one of the better series out there this season. It might not be the best due to its sheer amount of shonen trappings, but it’s still dang good! (I like Giyu Tomioka already, but now that I think of it, I’d like to see Lightning Boy in action within the show and not just the OP…hmm.)

[Sarazanmai 1 is not here because I saw it at the anime club first. I do intend to cover subsequent episodes here though…]

Kono Oto Tomare! 1

I find Funi’s video player unwieldy, to be honest. Maybe it’s because I’m too used to CR’s…

Oh! It seems like the Defence Club has a legacy now!

Surprisingly, this is very funny…!

Hmm…this seems like a show where you should ship people, but there doesn’t seem to be enough of a connection between anyone that I can see anyone shipping. I guess that’s why this thing is basically a shoujo in appearance, huh…?

By the way, who’s “Nadeshiko”? Takezo…?

Do you guys even know what a koto is? If you do, that’s great, but if you don’t, you’re going to have to infer…that’s a bit nasty for an ancient instrument the West doesn’t know about. Then again, this clearly isn’t something made for the West.

I’m wondering why the culprits confessed so easily…

Well, that was…alright. I went “aw” more than I expected and laughed more than expected. It’s not going to top the other shows I’ve got though.

Mayonaka no Occult Koumuin 1

For some reason, I’m just not used to calling this show “Midnight Occult Civil Servants”…that sounds clunky. That’s why I’m calling it “Mayonaka” for short…oh yeah, right now Funi is undergoing maintenance which is why I had to shuffle Mayonaka forward. I was meant to be doing Fairy Gone in this slot, to be honest with you.

Hmm…*thinks about time talking with Plyasm* *thinks about how Seo trid to kick this Reiji Kyoichi person* I see a resemblance here…with the kicking and all…Update: There is a guy called “Reiji” in this show, I just read “Kyoichi” wrong because I was trying to type up comments here.

Somehow it never actually occurred to me that Seo was a gender-neutral name. I’m normally quite good with these things…or maybe it was Ply keeping me up late that’s making me not notice…or even the fact I’m not listening to Seo’s voice, since that’s sometimes a hint to a person’s gender in particularly ambiguous cases (I’m currently not listening to the audio). Update: Okay, that’s definitely a man’s voice coming from the effeminate-looking Seo.

Oh yes…I forgot to mention, this show does an awful lot of telling and not showing.

I keep noting this episode is set on April Fool’s Day…what a day for pranking, huh?

I’ve seen a Cait Sith in anime before…so there’s a dog version too (Cu Sith), huh?

Tape? That’s so mundane…then again, I guess this is what happens when you have boring jobs in interesting places, huh? Reminds me a lot of my own stabs at this kind of story.

This is…angel-tengu Romeo and Juliet…

Now this is the real Reiji…I think?

Ohhhhhhh crab balls…these CGI angels look terrible.

I never thought cherry blossoms could look so terrible…urgh.

I’m of two minds when it comes to this show – on the one hand, I like its plot (it’s better than Charlotte in this field, at least). It’s a bit cliched, but it might lose against competition like Sarazanmai or even Kono Oto Tomare. On the other hand, its visuals are kinda…ugly.

Fairy Gone 1

Fa-Fanatica…? What sort of name is that??? (That’s not a good sign if I question the first name on the screen now, is it?)

Lay Dawn, would you please…lay down? (Okay, that joke only works with a particular pronunciation of “down”, but you get the bad pun…right? Right?)

So this is Spec-Ops Asuka without the huge boobs, I expect? That would make Fairy Gone at least 10 points (on my anime list) better than the thing I’m comparing it with.

I think the tiny symbols under most of the credits are stylised English, although I was looking at a credit for a guy with the surname Yamamoto and it wasn’t quite working.

The CGI is one of the better efforts I’ve seen, but still slightly obvious.

Veronica’s run reminds me of Akira from Devilman Crybaby. You know the one GIF of him running while leaning forward at an impossible angle? That one.

Post-credits scene…keep watching.

This is another anime Jesus…(the first one was Kagura’s dad in Ga Rei Zero.)

Rendai Utena 1

(Update: This was an anime I had to watch via VPN. Notably, the last time I resorted to one was B Project...however, no one remembers that but me, so the last big time I had to use a VPN was for Sakamoto Desu Ga?.)

Uh…yeah. This is the one Buddha anime this season. But before you run off, screaming about how blasphemous I must be to Buddhists, I’ll have you know I was originally not intending to watch this…if you know me well enough, you’ll know I like bishies. Only after I compiled my to-watch list for this season did one of the star bishies show up and convince me to watch…yeah, now you can run away screaming. (Oh and if you’re interested as to what image caught my attention enough to make me watch a show…it’s the top image on this CR page – not the thumbnail, the other top image.)

Okayyyyyyy…for a show about bishies, you sure aren’t capturing me right now with this plight of a salaryman.

Aw, dangit. I actually liked the few moments this was a zombie anime! Give me High School of the Dead, but with bishies instead of jiggly-boob girls! *shakes fist at cloud*

Oh, great…I can’t even tell who’s who around here. They even had little name cards and everything! So much for my great memory…*grumble grumble* But hey, at least I recognise some names…not from being Buddhist, but from other anime. I mean, Miroku is the guy from Inuyasha and Fudo Myouou is the guy who inspired Okurikara in Touken Ranbu, yeah?

Uh, hey. Isn’t sloth meant to be a vice? Isn’t “lounging around” a vice???

Another thing. I get the feeling that putting these guys in tracksuits is just trying to coast on the success of Touken Ranbu. Touken Ranbu is nice, but only because I was familiar with the source game and a bit about the fandom. This? I have no such basis.

Lotus Head – Bonten – his nagging is starting to get on my nerves already. I came for Taishakuten, not you!

Yeah…even in Touken Ranbu, they have washing machines. Convenience, but also…vice in terms of that old-timey Buddha stuff, I guess…? Update: Actually, I thought about it and I don’t think they’ve ever shown a washing machine in Hanamaru, but I think they might’ve had a fridge.

Wait, wait, wait…the bird was a bishie tooooooooo?????????????? I think that’s the biggest bending my brain’s going to get all premiere season (for this season)! Even more so than the entire debut of Sarazanmai!

Wait, wait, wait…Bonten likes porridge?! D’ya mean “congee” or “oatmeal” kinda porridge? I can’t tell because I’ve got the volume off, but if it’s the latter then Bonten wouldn’t have known about it. Update: It appears to be the latter. How Bonten would’ve ever known about porridge…I don’t know.

New aesthetic – Taishakuten’s hair. I like me a man with a ponytail (which is why I fell hook, line and sinker for him in the first place), but his hair done up like it is in the bath…*swoons, then goes back to normal* That is all.

What’s up with Paomi anyway…? And…this is kinda petty if the central conflict is just getting Shaka to get off cooking duties. That’s too low a conflict for even Hanamaru, methinks.

So…you introduce all these Buddha guys and then expect me to care about some human who doesn’t even have a name? Wuh…?

Okayyyyyyy…I’ve never seen an earthquake that was that fast before.

Wait, wait, huh???????? The guy who voices Taishakuten is…Choreo (Brave Beats)??????????? Oh no, I should’ve listened to it! Anyways, I’ve decided I’m dropping it, simply because if I want Taishakuten only for his looks, I can just find a wallpaper of him.

[yumenosakiacademy]

hi my name is rox and wowza did stuff just Happen a few hours ago :)) (i had to get over what happened and eat breakfast) I decided to make a diary entry abt what happened to slightly cope?? idk like look back on this situation when days get better, maybe.. but anyways i’m Dead inside and at one point i was openly sobbing in front of my mother while shaking and wanting to Die so.. :) You’re welcome to read it and feel sad w me idc but fair warning this is long. this took a While to write out. TW for kinda verbal and (possible) physical abuse (idk?) and some slurs. The slurs + verbal stuff was toward me, the physical (thank god) wasnt. (this is under a read more but sry if ur on mobile)

okay so this whole thing started out w this post (tldr, my mother swore loudly bc she stepped in dog piss and it woke up nana so nana started screaming at mom and dad tried to defend my mom but him and nana ended up screaming @ each other)

the second part of this buildup basically started off w what happened in this post that i posted hours ago at 7:32 am but tldr my mother cussed me out for going to bed at 7 am and called me Stuff (B*tch, cr*zy, a retard, a freak, etc.) and every time she insulted me i’d say thank you and occasionally  insult her too but never yell/scream just calmly/sweetly (which would irritate her more)

and so my dad heard my mother yelling, woke up, and came into my room to see what was going on and when i told him what was happening and mom was still screaming that i was in the wrong (and called me a freak in front of dad (dad: “ive been in here for like 2 minutes and you’ve called her a freak twice. Mom: Because she is one!!)) and dad basically cussed her out and set her straight bc she shouldnt be talking to her child like that and stuff and so mom started crying and talking abt she was going to leave us to which i said “bye~” and mom was like “look! she said bye!!” and i was like “well u keep saying you want to leave us so what else am i supposed to say?” but anyways i tried to go to sleep and mom was sniffling and still kind of crying as she took the laundry into my room and took some hangers out of my closet and i thought she was packing a suitcase but no it was laundry.

So. the screaming had apparently woken up nana again. and so i heard her scream “well, mina! come on out and help and clean!!” and i think she mentioned something else abt how if she was screaming she could help around the house (my mom doesnt have a job so nana+Dad expect her to clean quite a bit since she doesnt work like they do) and she kept yelling and saying that she “couldn’t sleep all day” and to get up and help since she’s screamed so much that nana got tired of her. But the thing was that my mom was doing stuff. she was folding laundry in my room. so i said, “hey, i think.. nana wants you” and mom replied with “i’m busy folding clothes” so i just kinda whispered an affirmative and tried to close my eyes again but nana yelled again and mom got up and opened the room of our bedroom door and screamed “I AM DOING STUFF!” but i forgot if she mentioned the laundry but nana stormed past the front gate and into the area right in front of my room and they were screaming for a sec and mom was trying to say that she was doing stuff and nana must not have believed her and they were both pissed w each other and this is when everything went to Shit.

So next thing i know (i’m watching them from my bed, which isn’t far away) nana grabs mom’s arms or body or something and she’s like, tusseling with her and she rammed mom’s arm into the wall or something and mom is trying to fight back a bit but trying to struggle out of her arms or hurt her too and i’m screaming shrilly/angrily, “NANA!! NANA!” and dad woke up again and came out of his room and nana pulled away or dad helped get nana away from mom and nana was yelling abt mom and i’m just over her angrily (and V loudly like rly high-pitched and full of unbridled rage and fear) “NANA!! NANA! SHE WAS DOING STUFF! DON’T DO THAT YOU- YOU DISGUSTING WENCH!!” (i didnt wanna say B*tch) and while i was screaming and dad was near nana, mom was sobbing and walked to the foot of my bed and rested her head and she was crying and nana stormed off sometime during it and dad followed her (i could hear them screaming abt how dad needed to move out with mom or nana would just lose the house or w.e when i got up to get something for mom) 

and i got out of bed and tried to see if mom was okay and mom was crying abt her arm and saying she was going to have a stroke/heart attack and that she couldn’t feel her heartbeat and the blood was rushing to her head and i asked her abt the bruise and asked if i could get her an ice pack (it was a small bruise on her arm and she was complaining abt her neck but idk if that was bc of nana” and so i went into the freezer in the kitchen and grabbed a bag of vegetables and brought it for her arm and she wan still crying and she was like, “nana has been doing this to me for 20 years [...] she’s brainwashed you guys too and stuff” in between talking abt the pain she felt bc she had a headache (i got her aspirin since she requested it) and i was trying to ask her if she’s okay and she’s like i’m.. fine but i don’t want you to grow up like Her [nana] or even like him [dad] okay..?” and finally at that moment my mother noticed how my fingers were shaking as i tried to help her w the frozen bag and i couldnt help myself and i started crying just from being so overwhelmed and all of this stuff happening in front of me and this is the 2nd time that i’ve seen nana attempt to fight w my mother and i just couldnt take anything anymore and i was a shaking sobbing mess and mom was like “hey don’t cry” and she was like “oi, look, don’t cry” and she took off my glasses for me and i was just sobbing and sobbing and i had to calm down and wipe away all my tears and mom just kept telling me to go to sleep/bed and close my eyes since like, an hour had passed since i originally tried to go to bed or w/e 

so i was like “...i’ll go to bed a bit later i’m gonna play some games first” so i went into dad’s room where my ipad was plugged in (he was still talking w nana. when i brought the vegetable pack back into the kitchen, nana was tryng to show dad proof that mother woke her up loduly in the middle of the night using the camera we have installed in the living room/kitchen to keep watch on the dogs when we’re away) and decided to play en//stars bc my LP had filled up but i played cn en//stars first bc i had to collect my rewards from a mission and since i was sitting in a corner away from mom, dad, and nana and had some alone time, i started crying to myself again for a while and i was trying to pet koga on the screen to calm me down and i eventually dried most of my tears and played some en/stars and then dad came back into his room and i was trying to lighten up by cracking some jokes abt the like, dance exercise product that was being advertised on tv to try to make myself (and him) happier to cope w everything that just happened and we sat around for a while- making jokes and i was playing en//stars and everything.

also it’s 11:17 am as i’m writing this sentence and i havent slept... wowee has this been a Morning. i’m gonna take a nap and then go see if mom’s okay. also, nana came into the office while i was typing this and i said hi cheerily then my face went Dead and i glared at her and she kept asking why and i was like “well you kept me up and you should have just stayed in your lane” and shes like “i was! ur mom woke me up!” like... you fuccer you almost harmed her bc she woke u up twice w her screaming (that wasnt even directed @ u) like fucc off u Shit i have to deal w that too and i dont effin do this Shit, esp not in front of me. i told her that it’s not only her i hate- that it’s everyone in this family and she said she didn’t care anymore. good then.

[tenseoyong]

A-Z NSFW: Chen

Cr.

Donate | Masterlist

A = Aftercare  This entire post is going to go in the complete opposite direction of this lmao but of course he’s going to take care of you well afterwards. Lesson learned kids, if anyone you’re with brushes off aftercare, kick their ass to the curb, cuz they don’t care about you. Chen’s a shower and relax together, wash each other gently kind of aftercare guy. Plus he wants to cuddle afterwards and no one wants sticky, smelly, gross cuddles.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)  I’m not gonna even try and pretend I don’t think Chen is the most perverted of the bunch lmao he always has his hands on your chest. Just...fun to touch tbh. Chen’s abs are coming in pretty nicely, I sure he’s pretty proud of them, his muscles in general are his favorite thing about himself although we all knows its his forehead

C = Cum  Nana: oh he’s a nasty little shit. He’s that fucker than jizzes in your goddamn hair and you have to wash it as quick as you can before it dries and it looks like your entire scalp is just shedding...

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs)  Chen really wants to bring it up, because sex is pretty open between you two and all, so he’s not really ashamed, just doesn’t know how to throw it out there, especially since he’s normally the pretty dom one in the bedroom. He likes the idea of being blindfolded and handing the reigns over to you so he has no idea what you’re up to or will do next. But he will tell you...soon...maybe....

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) Man I don’t trust his hoe ass....I feel like he’s done stuff already but idk, either way, he knows too fucking much and it makes me nervous. He’s a grown man, I doubt he’s never heard of porn, and the fucking dick popping EXO does, he knows what he’s up to.

F = Favorite position While he’s kinky, he’s a pretty simple man, plain missionary with your legs tossed over his shoulders is a good go-to for him. Easy position for him to have fun, and you’re kind of tramped a bit, seeing as you’re literally folded in half under his body. You’ll probably need to stretch before hand....I tried putting my leg behind my head the other day cuz I could when I was a kid and I was sure I was going to have to amputate my leg...

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) Chen’s kind of a clown, but I think he gets pretty serious and into his ‘character’ in the bedroom. He’s not the soft and floofy Jongdae he usually is, he’s full blown Chen behind closed doors.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they) His pits are wild smh I weirdly don’t think he trims or anything down there, I don’t know why, but he just gives me the vibes that he just lets it run free and have a life of its own....

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) Chen’s another member that makes up for his lack of romance in the bedroom in your non-sexual relationship. Of course there’s times he tones it back and really shows you his love; makes love to you rather than fucking. But on the norm, he’s a pretty wild man in the sack.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation) Pfff who are we playing, Chen jerks off like mad. But lord knows he can’t make a mess in the dorm room with Xiu being his roomie or the older would literally kill him. He takes shelter in the bathroom and handles business like anyone else.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) His secret is he wants to be blindfolded, mainly because you look and react so well when he blindfolds you. He loves seeing your body relaxed and tense all at the same time, never knowing where he is or what he’ll do next; never knowing what he’ll touch next. Watching your skin prickle and your body flinch and you squirm when he brushes a feather against your skin is just art to him.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do) [See Risk] Bedroom/Bathroom are really the only two options in his mind, but being that he’s very adventurous with positions, the bathroom isn’t really safe so the bed is pretty much where most of the magic happens.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) Chen’s usually pretty blunt with his advances, there’s no sly looks or catching on that you touching his arms means you want to fuck, he just straight out says, “I want to fuck”, and life goes on. But he likes how subtle you try to be, especially when the boys are around, your light touch on his thigh until he turns his attention to you and he can see your eyes clouded with lust. The idea of what will happen later in his mind while you wear that innocent face, it really gets his boner party going.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) [Plays into Risk] Chen’s a kink freak and we all know this, but he doesn’t like anyone else but you knowing it, so he’s not here for leaving the safety and privacy of the locked bedroom. Under no circumstances will he leave the bathroom or bedroom, don’t even try.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Do I....do I have to say anything else?

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) I feel like Chen’s a...humper if that makes sense, he’s pretty fast and hard, but he’s not full blown thrusting into you, more like quick pumps because he likes having your body close to his and doesn’t really want to pull away and lose that contact, even for a second.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) While he’s a horny pup, he’s ready and willing to go, unless you want a quickie I don’t see him doing them much. He likes to please you and stretch out the foreplay and tease you for as long as humanly possible. It’s arguably his favorite part of sex, having you all hot and squirming for him, so if that’s cut out of the equation for a quickie, he’s not that thrilled. Quickies do happen frequently though, back stage at concerts or before he has to leave for his schedule, but he’s not too impressed with them. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) I feel like he’s a guy that lives by the kamasutra book, he wants to try a lot of stuff, almost anything just once to see what the point is. He’s not very risky with places, like he doesn’t like leaving the bedroom, but doing things with you, he’s all ears....or dick...whatever you wanna say.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) Nana says he’s fuck happy. So basically she says that he’s a quick fuck, dick in a hole only lasts a few minutes, 10 minutes tops, but he’s up and ready for another round so quick you don’t know what’s going on. So Chen’s stamina is pretty high...almost unusually high....

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) I don’t trust him....he gives me the vibe of he’s so nasty that you don’t need toys, but he’s such a little shit that I feel like he collects the shit like pokemon? He’s definitely has handcuffs, vibrators, specific silk ties he likes the cool feel on, a few feathers.....

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) He’s....a little fucking shit.....I can see him teasing you to the point you’re literally crying. Like he ain’t stopping unless you use the safe word to tell him to fuck you or fuck off.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) Umm high note master Kim Jongdae? It sounds like a fucking opera in that bedroom tf ?? Chen’s a very loud moaner...The whole damn town, let alone the members will hear you and him, I’d invest into some ear plugs if I was you....

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) Chen’s a pretty kinky fucker in my mind...and we all know for a fact he’s going to want to try some weird ass position. The first time a legit cramp set in from the stretch, he went into a full state of panic, you had to literally pry the phone from his hands to stop him from calling an ambulance. For someone that dances and works out, he really didn’t grasp the concept of mid-sex cramps. God help him.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) Lmao I hate my grandma.....okay here we fckin go. I asked my 60 year old Nana and she said “he’s like the package of hot dogs you get on sale because one’s kinda fucked up. He’s the fucked up one.” aka in her mind, means that he’s slightly below average in length, and more narrow/slender than typical, but he’s just a horn dog that he’ll “hump you into next week” bye

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) Nana says, and I quote, Chen is a “horny dog that needs his nutters snipped so he calms the fck down”. And Nana’s word is law. Chen’s sex drive is out of this world, he needs to see a doctor and get some pills to mellow his ass out tbh.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) I think Chen is kind of a lazy guy, after sex he’s pretty fckin beat, and ready to just shower and hit the hay. So he falls asleep pretty fast, but tbh he’s just eager to wake up and jump your bones again.