#cpuk captain valentine

[brendleellipsis]

Brendle Battle Royale: A Rumination on Creative Endeavors and Community

Thinking about Brendle Battle Royale.

For those of yall that have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about, BBR was the very first storytelling project that I actually completed. The format and structure of it takes a bit of explaining to do? So I'll try to make that brief.

(This line was written after everything else. Fair warning, i did not make it brief. I really tried. I am sorry.)

So, I'm a fan of this stream series called CPU Kerfuffle. It's a show where they take a bunch of Level 9 Smash Bros CPUs, give em characters (pink Captain Falcon was Captain Valentine, silver Samus was The Guy From Spy Kids 3D, etc.), and make em fight in a tournament. It was strictly a silly improv comedy thing at first, but as it continued, the characters became more fleshed out, the storylines told became more elaborate. It was basically a shonen anime consisting entirely of tournament arcs. I guess I could also compare it to professional wresting. I don't have much experience in that sphere of entertainment, but from what I can tell they scratch similar itches.

Anyways, the streamer that hosts CPU Kerfuffle has a discord server, and as the fandom for the show grew, more and more people joined so they could talk about the funny Smash Bros Show with people who understood the hype. And this alone was wonderful. It was honestly the first proper experience I got being part of a fandom, I started writing fanfiction for the first time, the whole shebang. And since the fandom was so small and niche, I didn't have to worry about any sort of fandom drama or insanely bad takes. It was great!

Eventually, on this server, people decided they want to do their own Kerfuffles. They streamed their own tournaments on Discord (and occasionally even on Twitch) with their own characters and their own elaborate lore, and eventually as more and more people hopped on that train, these "fanfuffles", as they were called, began to bleed into one another, with every fanfuffle taking place in the same shared universe. It was an honestly beautiful display of creative collaboration, of iron sharpening iron, of people introducing plot elements and other people running with them. Full disclosure, I haven't been able to fully get into fanfuffles like others have. Getting into things with that much happening is very difficult for my brain to handle, and to be honest, I wouldn't have even been able to get into CPUK proper if I hadn't gotten in on the ground floor. Still, even as an outside observer, there's a sense of beauty to it. Like... don't get me wrong, it's stupid and silly and cursed and for pretty much every emotional character beat you're going to find a shitpost or an inside joke. But, in a way, that's kind of what made CPUK what it was. It's improv comedy that, through the collective effort of so many people, has built a world filled with character and stories, and no matter how much I may roll my eyes at the particularly stupid jokes, I will always find that beautiful. It has the same energy as a group of kids playing pretend, or a group of friends telling jokes and stories around a campfire. There's a sense of warmth and camaraderie there that I will always cherish.

...I said I was going to make the backstory brief. I haven't even started talking about Brendle Battle Royale yet.

Oops.

Well, the point of all that backstory and feelings and junk is that Brendle Battle Royale (which I'm going be calling BBR for short) is a fanfuffle. But I did things a bit differently from other fuffles at the time. I wanted to stand out from the crowd in some way, and I wanted to be able to stretch my creative muscles as much as I could.

One of my first decisions, which... is something I'm still debating whether or not I regret... was that BBR was not to be set in the main fanfuffle earth. It would be an alternate universe, a little pocket dimension squared away from everything else. This was so I could do whatever I felt like without contradicting or messing with established fanfuffle canon. While the story that ended up being told benefitted from that decision, I feel like something was lost along the way. Like I said, part of the appeal of fanfuffles was the collaborative aspect, and I had essentially thrown that key part of the experience out the window. But, what's done is done.

The other decision I made was on format, the medium that the story would be told through. This choice was kinda made for me? Because I was, and still am, incapable of streaming footage from my Nintendo Switch, I just don't have the tools required to do that. So, I was to make a written fanfuffle, which is something some people do. They write down character interactions, describe the fights as they happen, that sorta thing. Not as dynamic and outwardly exciting as the visual variety, but still, perfectly serviceable. I also decided to write the individual episodes in a screenplay format, as another way of differentiating myself. I'd go back on this decision later for reasons I'll go into, but for the time, it functioned.

I also knew I wanted this to be quick; I did not want to commit to a large project that I was unsure I could actually complete, so I decided on a 5 episode outline, a miniseries, for lack of a better term. This story would introduce some characters, have some tournaments, the antagonist would be clear from the beginning, the story would happen, and then it would be over. Quick, nice, and easy. And so, that's what I did.

When making the first five episodes of BBR, I want to make it clear that it was the height of the pandemic. I had just graduated from high school. I was already vaguely unhappy then, and now I had nothing to distract myself from it. Writing, which was once a joy, became... difficult. Draining. And it kinda shows in the story I told. The characters are... fine. For the most part. There are some standouts that I still really care for to this day, but more than a few of them are forgettable. I'd also say the plot really doesn't seem fully thought through? I tried to capture the improvisational aspect of fanfuffles by pantsing more than I usually did, outlining less, that sorta thing. But one of the things that I lament about the first five episodes that I would rectify later on, is that there wasn't really that much of an emotional tether. Not enough time was spent with the characters just... being. It's not my best work, and when ever I think about BBR, it's often not about the first act.

It's about the following two.

Shortly after finishing my originally planned five episode series, I decided I wanted to do more. I had started and finished my fanfuffle and... around me, the others were still going, still enthusiastic, still having fun. I envied that, I suppose. So I went back to BBR, but I made some changes. Instead of writing the whole tournament in a single script and expecting people to read it, I would do each episode in a discord thread, writing out character scenes and commentating on fights as they happened. This was... a touch more difficult, to be honest with you, but it also helped me preserve just a shred more of the improvisational, spontaneous edge that fanfuffles have. People could also react to plot revelations in real time, and while this didn't happen too terribly often, there are certain moments that stand out in my head, getting live feedback from people mid-episode, that I still treasure now.

I haven't been getting into specifics about the plot and characters, and I might do that on another post if anyone is interested, but something that also changed in the transition from Act 1 to Acts 2 and 3 were that, now that I had established the major characters, I could move them around, in directions that I simply couldn't in the first Act because I didn't allow myself the time. The emotion tether that had been lacking from Act 1 finally manifested, and I expanded on themes that I had introduced in the first five episodes but never really explored.

The burden of one's memories and regrets, the pain that comes with being alive and being dragged from day to day without, the struggle to determine one's own identity in a world that is pulling you in a million different directions at once, the strange, paradoxical feeling of isolation, of a metaphorical wall separating you from the rest of the world. How even with all your strength, you can still be weak. With all these people surrounding you, you can still be alone.

It was truly great to finally have the time and space to open up and write truly honestly about the things I had been pondering for so long. One of the joys of writing for me is that stories are the means by which I communicate with people. I'm autistic, so verbalizing my own thoughts, speaking with people, even my own family, never came easy to me. So it's nice to have this sort of outlet, to be able to explore my own feelings instead of letting them simmer and spark in my own head. It's a release. And with BBR, this was one of the first times that I had shared that with others. I'll admit, it was terrifying, but it was also cathartic.

Brendle Battle Royale was by no means a perfect story. Yet again, by the time I had reached the end, it was quite obvious that I had run out of steam. I was falling into another depressive slump and I just wanted to get it done. But... at the end of the day, I finished it. It's a full story that I told, warts and all. And, to be honest? I don't think things are beautiful because they are flawless. They are beautiful because they're real. And even amidst all the silly jokes and shitposts, that's what Brendle Battle Royale was to me.

Holy shit this post is way too long what the FUCK-

[larrythefloridaman]

CPUK but I rhythm your games

[basalt-havic]

Sometimes a family is just three pan lovecore bitches, only one of which is actually on Team Charm

[taffyglitch-art]

Assorted cpuk things I've collected from the past couple months. (i think the cosmic love is actually from a longer time ago, i just forgot about it, whoops!)

[brushstrokes-art]

a few extra daniposts for consideration. and also danthony.

[ampersketch-art]

CPUK art compilation 2

[greenshi]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Category: Gen

Fandom: CPU Kerfuffle (Web Series)

Characters: Captain Valentine (CPU Kerfuffle) Dantoinette (CPU Kerfuffle) Crimson (CPU Kerfuffle) The Guy (CPU Kerfuffle)

Additional Tags: Angst Light Comfort Hurt Mild Gore discussions of trauma Trauma Aftermath of Possession Post-Possession dani is bad at helping but by god does she try

-

Captain Valentine has regained control of his body.

Captain Valentine has lost control of his life.

[trixiepasta]

Everyone is fighting for redemption in CPU Kerfuffle 26! They’re all such great characters, it’s hard to choose a favorite.

[missmako-chan]

ALRIGHT JOHANNSEN PROPAGANDA TIME FOR @ultimate-rat-bracket (Early CPUK spoilers inbound (but like it's fairly well known))

Johannsen is the pet rat of a character in CPUK, a level 9 CPU Super Smash Bros Ultimate tournament series. During a doubles tournament a character named Dantoinette won alongside another character, Captain Valentine, and they would normally have to fight each other to determine who becomes champion. Instead, Dani decides to leave the tourney and Val instead has to fight her pet rat, Johannsen, who is quite literally just a rat from New York with a taser.

Then this happens:

The Rat Won.

[chongoblog]

Hey, I really want to watch CPU kerfuffle, is there a document that sums up the first 10 episodes so I can start at 11 and know everything important?

Funny enough, there actually is! Around the time of 10, I created a lore document that I would try to update with each Kerfuffle. I kinda stopped doing it around 11, which is the magic number for ya. However it IS 50 pages long (and a lot of the information is out of date). Ever since then, a wiki has been created which does a good job of covering many things, although since a LOT of characters return (some with a lot of Spoilers attached to them)

Here's the lore document and here's the wiki, but for the sake of brevity, I'll include a "brief" synopsis of Everything Important From Season 1 of CPUKerfuffle You Need To Know About So You Can Start On CPUKerfuffle #11 (under the cut)

So here's the Season 1 Synopsis. CPU Kerfuffle is a tournament series featuring Level 9 CPU's with their own names and distinct characters (this characterization is ramped up in Season 2 but one step at a time). Each tournament is a double-elimination bracket of eight fighters, and the winner of the tournament goes 1 on 1 against the current Champion of CPU Kerfuffle. The Champion is allowed to slightly alter the rules of the tournament to fit their style (for instance, when ICEE was Champion, he made Freezies appear occasionally) In the beginning, it was run by me in-universe and was a largely informal affair.

In terms of the Important Story Events, there aren't too many in Season 1, so before we cover those, let's introduce some character that might be important later.

-Squid Jenny: A disciple of the god Iggy Koopa. In her first tournament, she was presented as a FIERCELY loyal subject before actually briefly defecting from Iggy while also changing her name and gender presentation. She would later go on to return as a follower of Iggy, but with a new name and a new sense of personal agency. She says Trans Rights, obviously.

-Hamburger Helper: A Red Ridley who was the first Champion and held his reign as Champion for quite some time. Is married to a Ganondorf named Dadandorf and they share a son named Jimbo, who becomes Dark Jimbo out of teenage rebellion.

-Florida Man: A white coat Joker hailing from Florida, and a being of all the chaos that entails. He doesn't do much in Season 1, but keep an eye out for him in Season 2.

-Home MD: A doctor who wishes to find the cure for losing. Over the course of the series, he loses and regains his medical license.

-Spriteman/Perfect Spriteman: Spriteman is Just a Guy Who Really Loves Him Some Sprite! He won't stop talking about his favorite citrus soda! But....what happens when his obsession goes too far? He turns into a Piranha Plant, that's what.

-Patch-Man & Hoedown: Patch-Man is the owner of a large farm known as "Patch Farms", which is a place of bountiful harvest, although there have been some very intriguing farming techniques used there, such as creating a daughter that is also a gijinka of Corn itself named Corn on the Cob. He's married to Hoedown, who is secretly a member of the pirate crew known as the Red Kraken. Within Season 1, Hoedown is the only member of the Red Kraken in CPUK

-Captain Valentine: Just an overall cool dude and the face of the tournament throughout Season 1

-The Grunk: A Big Boy who can get pretty angry. He specifically joined the Kerfuffle after Hamburger Helper dissed his Tinder profile.

-Dantoinette: More accustomed to Soul Calibur, Dantoinette came over to CPU Kerfuffle to see how the other side played. She is.....very good.

There are more, but I want to keep this at least somewhat brief. So in terms of the relevant lore, here is the series of events that take place:

After a few tournaments of Hamburger Helper keeping hold as Reigning Champion, Iggy sends Jenny to see if Hamburger Helper is up to something. And it appeared he was, as he was building a strange machine.

Soon after, a fighter appears that simply goes by the name of "Crimson". And once he joins, an incredibly strange tournament takes place that includes splitting and converging of universes. The Guy from Spy Kids 3-D is there. There's a lot of confusion (and a lot of it gets kinda retconned? Only so much you can do when you improvise things lol), but it's discovered that Crimson is a sort of hivemind demon that can control other people at will while also holding some power over the different dimensions, and it's clear that Hamburger Helper is working for the Crimson.

On the ninth CPU Kerfuffle, we approach a Season Finale, preparing for things with a set of round robin preliminary rounds. And those are eventful. Home MD loses his doctorate from how badly he's beaten, Captain Valentine becomes possessed by the Crimson, and The Grunk is actually found DEAD, killed by the Crimson.

After this tournament, there is a hiatus. In-universe, I decided that having all this negative PR was way too much to handle, leading to a lack of tournaments and leaving the battlefield in an almost Mad-Max-Style chaos for months. Amidst the Chaos, the fighters all create four factions, or "Teams", which I'll talk about later.

At the end of this haitus, Iggy himself steps down from the heavens and uses an enormous amount of his power to greatly weaken the Crimson, ridding most of its existence, but still unable to turn Captain Valentine back. In light of coming back AND saving the world a little bit, Iggy becomes the new owner of CPU Kerfuffle, bringing back my friends and I simply as commentators in-universe. Squid Jenny becomes a field reporter to help the tournament run and to help the audience see the discussions happening between fighters. Another person working for the tournament rather than fighting anymore is Home MD, whose doctorate is restored after he manages to revive The Grunk from the dead.

This leads to the tournament titled "#Reboot". There isn't much that happens in this tournament in terms of lore, but Dantoinette becomes the Champion, which leads into Episode 11, which is where you'll be beginning. At that point in time, there are 8 different teams, which will be explained at the start of CPUK11.

Have fun!

[exhumedicarus]

This is an open invitation to talk about your blorbos. I don't have any specific questions, just tell me whatever you wanna!

oh well thank you anon! this is so open ended and now i don't really know what to say but i suppose i will ramble about one of my favourite characters from cpuk, dantoinette

so first i should actually explain how cpuk works in order for any of what i'm about to say to make sense. tl;dr it is a smash bros cpu tournament with lore, characters are represented by the different smash bros fighters and each episode is typically an eight person double-elimination tournament. the whole thing is done via smash bros matches and improvised dialogue between characters, with the actual people involved commentating the matches and voicing the characters

dantoinette first showed up in cpuk6 with the backstory that she was from an alternate universe where the tournaments took place in soul calibur and she came to the universe of cpuk to prove that soul calibur is better or something like that, i don't remember the exact details she proceeded to sweep the tournament before losing the championship match to a guy dressed as the icee mascot, who she still holds a grudge against to this day, despite having beaten him multiple times since.

she showed up again in 9 and the reboot (technically 10) where she got first both times. because of this, she was champion for 11 and chose to make it a doubles tournament, teaming up with captain crimson (for context, this character named captain valentine lost a bet to season one's villain, crimson, and got possessed, and after the rest of crimson was destroyed, the last bit remained possessing captain valentine) and managed to not only win them the tournament, but also remove the last bit of the crimson from captain valentine purely by getting stray hits on her own teammate. then. instead of sticking around to fight valentine for the title of reigning champion, she left and let him fight her pet rat, johannsen. the rat won.

dani then went back to her own universe for a while, until cpuk20, because she was called in to help fight season two's villain, an evil mad scientist named doctor order trying to steal the powers of the goddess of time, chartreuse. she again won the tournament but again lost the championship match. although this time her opponent was the doctor who had gotten the time goddess's powers and had gone back in time from the next day in an attempt to stop the others from going through with their attack on her lab. after the mad scientist was defeated, dani once again went back to her own dimension, feeling bad about her loss even though doctor order had won a 7v1 and there was no way she could have ever won on her own

recently she's shown up again and hasn't done that much lore-wise but she is technically reigning champion at the moment. she's also currently having a bit of a crisis regarding her whole Not Losing thing and having a bad time with the current arc villain. i'm not going to go into the nccts because those are a whole can of worms and are non canon so that's her whole story so far

(when i say she doesn't lose, i mean she Does Not lose. she has the best record out of anyone that isn't a perfect 100% win ratio and the only people with perfect records are i believe a literal god, nagito komaeda (erased from existence,) and jon arbuckle. it doesn't say in the image but she also got 1st in 26. and 28)

[luxuriainash]

this is what i understand of the dani-val dynamic so far

[larrythefloridaman]

handing you more characters bc your analysis is so delicious .

crimson. the scrunkly. most likely to be cpuk's tumblr sillyman.

Studying this little freak like a bug <3

(cpuk and ncct spoilers)

The thing about Crimson is that narratively, he is, as a villain, a bad coping mechanism or a self-destructive behavior. Barely even a metaphor- thats literally what he is to peppermint in pretty much no uncertain terms, she's parasocially in love with him because he, and the concept of a multiverse, allows her to indulge in the fantasy of a world where she's happy, and indulging unhealthily in fantasy is what actively drives people away from her, making her even lonelier. And she's not the only example of characters whom crimson's relationship to them is defined by them giving in to a character flaw. Chessmaster is the other clear cut example- succumbing to his inferiority complex and giving in to evil for the sake of proving himself are directly interrelated events, and he broke free when he was given kindness and support, a clearer picture of why he's like this (because he was designed to be,) and a vision of something different, something healthier, to be. He tempts people, consciously or not, to act their worst.

Hamburger Helper was a family man. Season one's storytelling is patchier than later seasons, but one can read between the lines, both then and later, to see something of a Mr. Incredible style gloryhound mid-life crisis to inspire his behavior, and his husband putting his foot down and breaking things off wasn't enough to drag him back to sense- especially since his son was on his side, resenting dadondorf for both his more firm parenting and splitting their family, launching into his ongoing emo phase and "trying to summon satan to kill his dad." (Real line from cpuk1. smthn smthn nccts crimson's first host was a dad and hes good with kids and says despite being kind of a monster he wouldn't hurt one. food for thought) But when The Grunk died, the show went on hiatus, and he was left in the broken fizzled aftermath of all that and forced to slowly realize how immature he'd been behaving and what ultimately really mattered to him and defected from Crimson of his own will.

Valentine was a risk taker, all for the drama of the show. Valentine walked directly into explosions just to see if he could survive them. He's a performer and a gentleman and a hero to the people. However, a risk taken in performance is a risk nonetheless and his overconfidence was his downfall. Valentine made a bet. Didn't tell a soul before he did it, other than a crimson possessed hamburger helper, speaking in their minds- hold your breath for the drama! And then he lost. And the deal was real. And so were the consequences. And the show he so loved came crashing to a halt as he was used to kill a man. (I'd also like to note, captain crimson in the nccts is kind of another example of a recreation of val as an image without his input, if im understanding the dream-fakes correctly- bc theyre composed of the current dreamers recollection of them, and Val isnt in the fourth dream. So once again val is being copied over as a biased outsiders image formed from people's perceptions of him, this one more literal and impermanent and largely defined by a very publically known traumatic experience that he really doesnt like to talk about and the person who controlled him in that time, while Quad was originally made to be a sort of exaggerated parody of what he loves and values. fun.)

Larry's... well, I've talked about Larry's problem. He overextends himself, unwilling to burden others intentionally even if they're willing to bear it, and needs to show himself a little self-compassion. And the circumstances of his possession? He functionally agreed to saving Crimson's life, and Crimson repays this by running off with his body right away and refusing to let Larry see his loved ones (for reasons of self-protection, crimson desiring to lie low right now, but still) and Larry's still trying to fix him from the inside. Bro thats nice and very noble and all bc god knows crimson genuinely needs help but you functionally got kidnapped my dude!!!!!! You missed yet another Valentines day after SEVEN missed Valentines days! you're on course to miss a NINTH since the show's gone off air in your absence!!! Your man just wants you to be safe for once!!!!!! He misses you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sidenote ive noticed in terms of teaching the lesson of not overextending your compassion sometimes folks trying to teach it fumble the point by making it so the way its taught is by making the target not 'worthy' of the compassion somehow (tricking the giver of care or help into thinking they need it when they really dont or smthn) as if overextending yourself is a matter of choosing who's morally deserving of help and weeding out the untrustworthy lazy manipulators or some shit rather than You Cannot Help Everyone, its a Logistical Impossibility and By Trying You Will Only Hurt Yourself and Eventually Others as Either Your Loved Ones Worry Themselves Sick To Death Over You as Your Wellbeing Inevitably Declines Or You End Up Lashing Out At Others Because Your Needs Have Gone Uncared For As A Result, Therefore You Literally NEED to be Helped Because You Literally Cannot Bear It All Alone and im glad thats more the kind of vibe set up here. Like. Crimson definitely definitely definitely needs help that much is clear. But Larry aint the fucker to do it. because He's Super Not Okay Either and also, he'd been trying to get Crimson to open up for however long it was between cpuk orange and ncct2 hed been trying and didn't know Funbox's name when Crimson was willing to say that on live tv but Dani spends an hour in a vent with him and he's Explaining His Personal Living Nightmare to her. Larry is not a person hes willing to open up to, probably Specifically Because he is trying and wants to help him! Larry's fuckin. Red Cross Syndrome actively makes Crimson want to clam up! They can be good buds, they certainly seem to enjoy eachothers company well enough, but not in the 'i can unload about my trauma to you' way right now because neither of them are people who think they need or deserve that yet!

Maladaptive coping mechanisms and emotional regulation strats being the domain of a god of treachery makes sense- especially in a show about compassion and healing the way CPUK often is. they don't fix the real problem. Often they make it worse. They make you feel better, stronger, until they don't, they take control of your life, and sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you realize you have a shovel in your hands. But, the thing about them is, they're NOT 'evil,' they're volatile, theyre unhealthy, and they don't come from nowhere. Its the culmination of unaddressed pain. And as with Chartreuse's tragedy, this applies to Crimson as much as it does to those his powers effect- this badboy's chock full of dumb destructive shit he does to feel power and control over and satisfaction with his own life, and that makes itself most apparent in his relationship with Crimsonaut. Now, Crimsonaut lacks much of a firm moral compass- but he's kind, in a snarky long-suffering sort of way. he was created by Dr. Order to venture into the crimson for study. We don't know how that went, but we know the result. Allowing Crimson to hide and recover in his body, lying about being uncontaminated upon his return from meeting him, intentionally hiding and protecting Crimson from discovery until he was strong enough to start taking control of the body from time to time and getting up to his shit again. Crimsonaut is more than capable of verbally standing up to Crimson, he puts his foot down- but he puts his foot down only when Crimson condescends to him, treats him like he's not an equal. Crimson calls him his little buddy- like hes affectionately describing a cat or a small animal or perhaps one of those fucked up lil splatoon fish, and Crimsonaut tells the evil primordial god in his body that he owes him at least the title of friend. Takes some backbone, which he chooses not to use later. He wasn't happy with crimson attempting to destroy the universe, where he lives, but after the fact, their relationship as we see it doesnt seem to have changed at all. Crimsonaut was still willingly playing his snarky human shield. Crimsonaut's friendly with Dani, and no exorcism ever happened. even though he very nearly successfully destroyed a universe, (and got them both put on a fucking Leash by his siblings for weeks after the fact,) he'd rather let him stay. But being separated from Crimson as a result of Crimson's own meddling, getting a nice breather away from him, and Crimson using this break as an opportunity to make a direct attempt to kill him to avoid being put back was the last straw. he was horrible despite when they got along and what he was made for and he couldnt just put up with it anymore, although Prism's next move might have... complicated his feelings about it. Crimson might honestly care about him, but that didn't make him any less of a toxic friend, and for that, Crimsonaut doesnt owe him a continued place in his life, and Crimson lost himself the most earnest, faithful, selflessly motivated friend he seems to have had since he arrived in this universe entirely through his own short-sighted self-destructive inability to deal with the minor restrictions living with Crimsonaut imposes on his life. He cant make himself willingly hand over control to another person enough to adapt to a minor dietary restriction. Absolute control freak. And... well. We know why.

Prism and the Ciblings relationship wasnt... explicitly cast as being abusive in those words before the nccts, though one could easily read between the lines. And what the implications spoke loud and clear already was bad enough. But things are called what they are in the nccts, (not by the cods, who. likely think its... not normal. but maybe normal for gods. Theres not really other examples of godly parenting for them to draw from, after all. But Folk correctly labels Prism as abusive.) and Crimson's status as a favorite target of torment is exposed, and recontextualizes... a lot of things, really. He implies quite straightforwardly that everything he says should be taken with a grain of 'im aware of when Prism's watching and what im willing to say when she is is effected somewhat by that.' His words are inherently a bit deceptive, but not necessarily maliciously- but self-protectively. Every respectable parenting resource: "strict helicopter parenting doesnt teach your child obedience, it teaches your child how to lie to you" prism raising a god of treachery: "haha yeah thats the point :)"

Crimson and Prism's relationship is a pretty realistic example of the effect of the beginning of a cycle of abuse, in the broad sense. A parent, effected by existential stresses they cannot escape, be they monetary, interpersonal, psychological, whatever, lashes out against their children in the process of raising them, simultaneously traumatizing them and modeling toxic behavior to them, which they ultimately mimic because thats how dealing with problems and stress was modeled to them in their formative years, lacking access to or knowledge of more positive outlets for their feelings.

Crimson wants to be nothing like her- but he is, unthinkingly, like her. He hurts people to his own ends, he manipulates the truth, he's controlling, a number of other small things- a sickly smile to reflect prism's vacant yet intense one. He is his mother's son. Godhood of treachery and godhood of stories are... rather similar in concept, really- i don't recall who, but ive heard a certain philosophy of storytelling said as, paraphrasing, 'fiction is lies, falsehood, in service to truth.' he adopts an aesthetic of opposition, blood guts and chocolate cake, without really deconstructing his behavior in context, because changing who he is means making himself more vulnerable to being changed while he's figuring himself out, and Prism's entire modus operandi is changing you without you ever noticing, and he wants to believe through his rebellion he can atleast be fully authentically himself, uninfluenced. But change cannot be staved off forever, and despite what he wanted to believe, he's still stuck. Choosing evil is not an escape, it is another cage. The hopelessness and stagnation of lacking meaningful choice setting in seems to be changing him anyway.

I marked the 'horrible person' square the way i did because normally when one claims a tragic villain 'had no choice' but to commit their actions, its not really an accurate reflection- having reasons and motives to do what you do doesnt change that you chose to do them, if only under duress. But Crimson was... very particularly, literally and specifically being disallowed from having a choice in who he turned out to be under the gaze of a panopticonic and brutal authority that could begin watching him at any time, and what they wanted him to be was evil. He was born to be a villain and groomed into it, lead to evil blindly by a strict parent who's strictness was applied specifically to spawn the rebellion it caused and create a self-demonizing villain. He could've chosen to be better in theory- options were technically there- but he wanted to be a villain because he was raised in such a way that it felt like a meaningful rebellion against Prism's goody two shoes persona, but it wasnt, and he wouldnt have been allowed to pick the better options anyway- judging from things like Prism hitting the undo button on TOJ giving her a shiner, anything deviating too far from the plan can just be undone anyway, with none but her (and the audience,) maintaining memory of it, although it's marks are left regardless. little retcons. (Prism saying she felt guilt for what she 'had to do' to Crimson is... a bit supported by this- if she never wanted him to ever have nice things she could very easily take All of it away. She could have made that hug never happen. But she did let him have that. Doesnt make the constant cruelty better but yknow. Abusers are weird and complicated people sometimes and often they believe what they're doing is for the best for the child even if it really really isnt)

While we all came to agreement that Doctor Order's statement, about how if someone is changed by prism by unnoticed inches it will become miles over time, did not apply to her... I think it applies to Crimson, although not fully in the magical sense she meant, but the metaphorical. I think once upon a time there mightve been a better nature and hope in crimson which was slowly, steadily, and thoroughly corroded for a long, long time. Started CPUK Reboot in my rewatch recently, and before it became Team Calibur, Team Crimson's uniting factor wasnt even evil- it was passion. Bizarre, considering how inhuman Crimson was played in the first season. Kindness is what comes naturally to people. All that doesnt have to matter, not in the least, to the people he's hurt- but free will has always been more theoretical for him than the average person with Prism's eyes trained on him, and morality greys and greys as one gets into the weeds of why people are the way they are and when you remove or bar off meaningful and conscious choice from the equation. It is, sometimes, a luxury to have the option to be a good person, even if you aren't aware those options have been closed off to you. People get trapped, often without even knowing, in doing things that contradict what they believe or understand to be right to survive and enjoy any kind of happiness or fulfillment every day. smthn smthn no ethical consumption under capitalism for a familiar example. Crimson just raises So Many Fun Moral Philosophy Questions. God i love 'born to be evil, are so much more than that' type characters theyre always so human and fun to get pretentious about. can you tell my family's ex-catholic /j

Judging by his resentful tone with things like lovey dovey romance and Prism's 'barney the dinosaur' demeanor, i think its pretty fair to assume Prism's faux-sugary demeanor has made him thoroughly distrustful or disdainful of anything too 'sweet' at the outset. Only pain and grit is 'real', anything too sweet is a facade waiting to stab you in the back. Despite his two-faced smarmy deceitfulness being a defining trait, being Authentically Himself seems to concern Crimson a great deal, and for obvious reason. That being said i think theres also a part of crimson that wishes he could win over her approval, judging from his conversation with captain crimson- where i think he's the only one of the cods to actually briefly label prism as their mom directly, if only in a snarky derisive way, (usually they fall in line with her description of herself as their babysitter, but i mean. When your parent is a primordial cloud of feelings and ideas and not a person that can raise you but their emissary raises you in their place idc thats functionally a Mom) and implies Crimson sticks around here because of Prism in a way that makes it sound like it was a deliberate choice- it'd certainly explain why he actually tried to be good at the job he Knew he had (until attempting to self-sabotage to prove a point,) and making a point out of cobalt fucking up at his, despite his typically impulsive and self-indulgent personality. not really realizing he never could have her approval until his godhood of treachery was revealed to him, a title which means he is inescapably evil to her. I think Crimson wants very badly to be liked and approved of by Somebody, and in failing to get that from Prism has... latched on to the audience a bit, as another extension of his progenitor Spectrum. Crimson sees chat! He can see everything we say about him! He probably has thoughts and feelings on a good lot of it! He started using the nickname Crimbo because of us, and throughout orange's intros iirc he seemed more than a little disappointed by the reception to him as host not just from the competitors but from us in chat booing him (in a heelish kind of way, largely. God knows we do love crimson even if he sucks <3) and for god's sake the nelson warping is activated by us complimenting him. hes So Desperate for us to like him! Not unlike prism was!

i think the treachery reveal ultimately came as the second hit of a three hit combo of crimson's held beliefs being challenged. I think Crimson percieved Cobalt as kinda... Prism's lapdog to some extent? always trying to be the 'responsible' one, managing his and Chartreuse's behavior on Prism's advice while botching his own job. Cobalt showed his care for Crimson as his little brother through making deals to keep him alive, but considering he spends every other moment they're together (understandably, crimson is not a good person and cobalt has a very firm and deliberately constructed punitive moral compass to keep from losing sight of his responsibilities,) being critical of him on moral grounds it makes their relationship feel much more... transactional, even if Cobalt doesnt mean things that way. Like he's only making these deals to protect him because Someone needs to do his job. And then a disguised Crimson, after his apparent death, walks in on Cobalt discussing with Chartreuse that they need to do something about Prism, that this has all gone on too long. He cares, regardless of their stupid jobs, he just wants Crimson to be Less of an Asshole. And then, after the treachery reveal, there's chartreuse giving up her godhood.

Crimson's been confused by and rudely dismissive of his sister's relationship ever since he found out- particularly so after learning what she's been doing to maintain it. She's weakening herself, hurting herself, making herself vulnerable, to maintain a relationship with some mortal who, even if she could keep up what she was doing, not telling him anything and enduring the pain of keeping his fracture in the timeline sustained, would have sixty maybe seventy years at best to be with her and then she'd be back to the usual. They are incomprehensibly old, Folk is a blip in the grand scheme. She'll get over him, she should stop whining about it, its spilt milk. And then she gave up her godhood entirely. This mortal was worth facing not just pain, but the inevitability of death to her, worth facing the absolute vulnerability of mortal life. Crimson still can't understand it... he still doesnt agree with her decision and he doesnt particularly like Folk that much. but he can understand this is Really Fucking Important to her. and he cares about her enough to respect it and want to be a part of it as much as he can.

Ultimately, what i think Crimson really needs is to learn is how to trust someone enough to willingly hand over power and control to someone else without it being the end of the world and that change can be for the better, and him respecting the agency of other people even if he intensely disagrees with their decisions is an important step in the right direction on that front.

[basalt-havic]

Captain Valentine, beloved champion of @chongoblog‘s CPU Kerfuffle! Don’t die this finale, king <3

[taffyglitch-art]

Happy holidays, @bubblymiilk! Here is your gift for @discordvillage-giftexchange, I hope you enjoy this art of the captains!!!!!

[taffyglitch-art]

Some more CPUK smash renders! We've got Folk, Chartreuse, Heartbreak, and Captain Valentine! (i'm particularly happy with how Chartreuse turned out tbh)