#coz this shit ain’t working

[therootednomad]

.

[stormyelliotwritez]

fic where ftm reader is logan’s gay (re)awakening when he sees r in his 2000 pickup truck blasting old rock in his flannel and jeans and logan just heart eyes and needs to be with this man Immediately.

(i say reawakening bc lets be real hes like 200 he mightve already realized hes a 🚬 before but needed like. a reminder)

AAAAAAHHHHHH literally my fav trope ever - i did a similar one to this btw called logan and his hot guy friend - also i made reader a handyman type guy coz funsies

He may be a bit ooc but i ain’t sure

i need to get more photos coz i keep reusing them

Old rock and a 2000’s pickup truck? 😍

It had been a long long day and Logan was walking home from the job he’d gotten after all that multiverse shit when a 2000’s pickup truck parked at the lights. He walked up next to it and raised an eyebrow as he heard the music. It was old rock or dad rock as Wade would say. He walked past the window and saw you. You were wearing a red flannel and faded blue jeans. He’d almost forgotten what it was like to like a guy.

He wandered home in a daze, only thinking about you in that pick up truck. Wade asked him if something was wrong and he couldn’t even answer. He just mumbled a no and then grabbed a beer. You looked so good in that flannel. He only saw you for a moment but you were his type alright.

A few days later, he took the same route home, hoping he’d see you and he did. You were parked this time with tools in the backseat. Against his better judgement, he walked up to your window and tapped on it. And against your better judgement, you rolled the window down and smiled at him.

“Your truck is a beauty,” he said with a smile.

“Thanks, I fixed her up myself,” you said back before patting the dashboard lovingly.

Logan took a glance at the tools in the back of your truck and chuckled to himself. “You a handyman?”

You nodded. “Guilty as charged. You needing something fixed?”

He chuckled. “Well now that I think of it, we’ve had a dodgy tap recently, my roommate and I.”

You chuckled and nodded. “I could drop by and see if it’s an easy fix?”

“Yeah, that’d be great, bub. We just live in the top apartment at the building with the blue door just over there so feel free to drop by whenever.”

You nodded and smiled again. “Well I gotta be off. I’ll drop by tomorrow.”

Logan smiled and waved as you drove off. He pumped his fist in the air, mimicking Wade, and grinned. Hell yeah, he was gonna get to see you again.

He walked back to the apartment and this time, he grabbed a beer and joined Wade on the couch. “You gotta skedaddle tomorrow so go work or something,” was all he said to Wade before the soccer game started.

The next day, Logan stayed home and made sure Wade was out the door by 8. The clock struck 10 and you knocked on the door like well… clockwork. He quickly opened the door and let you in.

“Hey, you’re here,” he smiled, “wasn’t sure if you’d turn up.”

You smiled and held up your bag. “Well I like getting paid.”

“And I like getting my tap fixed.”

You got to work and soon enough, you’d found the problem. You fixed it and when you stood up, Logan was standing in the doorway. He had a grin on his face and a beer in each hand. You hadn’t noticed how hot he was before but now he was standing there, wearing a white singlet and a brown flannel and looking super duper hot.

“That for me?”

He nodded and handed it over. “For a job well done, bub. And I’ll pay you as well of course.”

The two of you sat down and both had a beer. A bit after Logan finished his, he grabbed the money and handed it over. You stood up and contemplated leaving before turning back to him and chuckling awkwardly.

“You seeing anyone?”

Logan smiled and shook his head. “Thought you’d never ask, bub.”

You sat back down and leaned towards him, a smile on your lips. “Would you want to be seeing someone?”

“Is that someone you because I would love to be seeing you,” he said with a smirk as he leaned towards you.

When you leaned backwards and stretched, your shirt rode up and he saw your binder. He nodded to himself and leaned in a bit closer. “Haven’t dated a guy in a while so you wanna break me in again? We could listen to some rock?”

You chuckled and licked your lips before standing up and pulling your chair to next to him. You sat back down and shamelessly grabbed ahold of his hand and ran your fingers over it. “Absolutely, handsome.”

[jewishbarbies]

people forget that there’s an actual difference between being progressive and being radical, and Bernie sanders is one of the people who furthers this confusion. People think that in order to be progressive, you need to be the most radical leftist mfer on earth, and that’s not even what being progressive means. I ain’t a dick sucker or anything, but Biden is actually one of the more progressive democratic presidents that we’ve had here in America, especially in his work for the unions (which is about to be rolled back by orange Mussolini). It’s very evident here in Pittsburgh, all the shit Biden has done for unions, coz Pittsburgh is one of the most blue collar cities in the country and is a union town, Pittsburgh is more blue collar that Philly.

👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻

[saevus-brutalis]

last art this year

was supposed to be for pride month but— ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝓊𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒.

some lore surrounding these two that is too long overdue but 🤷‍♂️

not as detailed and rambly as i’d like it to be, but i’m really burned out and i’m trying to get back to it🧍‍♂️

nevermind it’s pretty rambly lol

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

all the way back in 2038 Vincent and Ray, after dating for around two years, agreed to leave California together on august 21st — Ragan’s birthday; it was supposed to be his birthday gift of sorts, a start of a new chapter, new life;

buuut Vince, being a little shit teenager, got cold feet (in Ray’s eyes, Vince always justified that as being rational) and ditched him last minute, not showing up in their agreed spot, making Ragan leave on his own after hours of waiting.

this caused Ray to despite his own birthdate, it always reminding him of the heartbreak and betrayal. 🧍‍♂️

Vincent has felt guilty ever since, but firmly believed it was the right choice. he was never fit to live a nomadic lifestyle at such a young age.

four decades later their paths cross again and a long healing journey ensues.

so now this date is pretty bittersweet to both of them 🧍‍♂️ but it gets better overtime

basically right person, wrong time

although i think if they did ran away together then, it wouldn’t have ended good at all 🤷‍♂️ with Vince still being pretty immature emotionally, still struggling with some inner personal things (family stuff, internalized homophobia, etc.) and not familiar with the nomadic culture and ways of living. they’d probably get in bad fights more and more as the time would go on, and eventually split. Vince would’ve decided to go back to Night City probably (if he ever would make it back) and they’d never end up back together has they met in the future.

their separation allowed them to grow and mature on their own, in their own familiar environments, experience different things, and after they met again, after all those years, they put their feelings and mutual attraction to the test

and it turned out they still want each other even with all the imperfections 🧍‍♂️(i’m not crying you are) they could lie all they want but their brain chemistry couldn’t. Vincent never loved someone they way he loved Ragan, and Ray never quite felt the same way with anyone else like he felt with Vince. there was always something missing, something not quite right. and while they could tell each other they’re looking for something too far out of their reach, that they’re looking for a too perfect partner, in reality they always just wanted each other 🧍‍♂️

they still have a lot to work on together in their relationship, but now that they’re too old for teenage fights and too tired for heartbreaks, they make compromises and their fights make their bond and their understanding of one another stronger 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

like we acknowledge that Vince did a shitty thing by ghosting Ray, going no contact and being a puss, too scared to man up, and tell him face to face ‘hey i can’t go, this type of thing ain’t for me’. he didn’t want to acknowledge that, saying that out loud, or even in his mind, would make that real and that scared him. he was definitely a teen who’d rather avoid doing something he wasn’t comfortable with to not experience the uncomfortable feelings altogether. the avoidant type we all know and love 🧍‍♂️

and yet Ray still chose to love him 🧍‍♂️ he’s definitely like ‘this man’s trash but he’s *my* trash’. Vince gets better eventually after Ray finally gets through his thick ass skull.

but also i’m not gonna sit here and say Ragan fixed Vince coz that wasn’t the case 🤷‍♂️ this is not a ‘i’m gonna fix him’ type of situation. Ragan wasn’t and isn’t perfect either, his perspective was kinda askew as well; can’t quite describe it as i haven’t psychoanalyzed him as much as Vincent but they’re both flawed, make mistakes left and right and learn from that (sooner or later) like human beings 🧍‍♂️

but in the end they’re just old men in love

[fuckin-pistol-whipped]

mari oh wise one, how does a man keep a relationship going as long as you have?

stockholms

realize if th relationship ain’t lasting long it’s coz it ain’t meant 2. ain’t mean ya got th wrong person per se could be that ya got th wrong time. one or all yall ain’t ready fr all that & ya gotta get comfortble w that & eithr learn 2 let go or work on yaslf . get OK w th fact that ya could be th problem. b ready to ask yaslf sum deeply uncomfortble questions 2 make yaslf a better partner. learn to be alone with yaslf , thoughts, flaws. no amount of roses and nice dates can hide for long ya own flaws whether it’s selfishness, greed, laziness. do ya project yr misery onto others? could be a saint & still a awful person to b round if ya don’t know how 2 handle yr shit. yr partner/s is/are yr royalty. learn 2 serve em. & don’t ever b telling yaslf “this is someone i could spend 6 years with,” b askn yaslf if ya could bare 2 live anothr 6 years w/o em. 

[samarchys]

Chromakopia

to set the scene, I listened to this record the second it came out, me and my girlfriend were driving home from dropping a friend off at the airport, shitty hyundai i10 speakers blasting, we’ve both been exhilarated for this project to release especially me being a fan since wolf, being around for album releases by you is a feeling i’ve had the blessing to be apart of in the past and i’ve held that feeling so close to me for a big portion of my life, it truly means a lot to me. CHROMAKOPIA felt so distinctive and revolved around a lot of accountability almost? that’s sort of how I saw it through my first listen anyways. I am a big fan about being yourself and saying what you feel over anybody else’s given opinion and there were topics of this sprinkled through the whole project and it’s something that inspires me a lot. For the first listen though, Thought I Was Dead, Hey Jane and Judge Judy all appeared bright to me, Hey Jane in all due respect to it’s incredible storytelling reminded me heavily of rap battle repertoire, the back and forth and clashing viewpoints between both you and Jane, but at the same time both being so individualised by their own perspectives, it truly did feel like two polar opposites and you articulated it well dude. If it’s a true story then major respect, it really reshaped my way of thinking about storytelling especially being a musician of my own, it’s flippin hilarious actually coz i’m in a deep writers block right now hearing you breathe colour back into things has lifted my heart back up, wrote two really rad tunes earlier this morning because of your artistry, i thank you for it. Judge Judy caught both me and my girlfriends ears the second it started playing, your flow resonated with the percussion, it’s suuuuper infectious, it brought me back to a time in my life that things just barely made sense but it felt like things should’ve been going right. The topic on how sudden things can change like this story of you and Judy just stuck with me and my girlfriend because part of it reminded both of us of just how we met and how instantaneous our relationship came to us, it created a very special moment for us, and the dogtooth interpolation was slyyy i loved it, major points for that moment. Finally Thought I Was Dead got me so sooo excited ever since you posted the excerpt of it before release, as soon as I heard it it gave me an influx of thoughts and ideas, I went to work right after hearing it, those drums have power!! and the horns dude, you used the brass instruments perfectlyyyy through this project man, the Q feature!? what can I say man, just absolute mastery, I resonate with it a lot because man i’m trying to promote this one single and i’m getting mocked and ignored heavily from it, i’ve always felt like that whenever i’m doing something or attempting something that takes a lot of effort, from highschool or junior school, it’s been major ignorance and doubt on my back so this song felt special like a real "proved it" moment, hit me the same way that P’s “You Can Do It Too” did with young Sam, it’s one of the ones i hold close. I’m hoping to be coming to a london show for the tour and all of these tunes on the album are going to create a very heartfelt experience for me and tons others that’s a given. Talk my shit I sure damn will! you ain’t like that shit? i’ll do it again!!!!

This is a message for Tyler Okonma

By Sam Draper

[chobit92]

The Quarry: Part Six

Sorry it has taken me ages to update this. Never enough hours in the day.

Warning: Miscarriage.

(Mara wakes up. She must have fallen asleep again. Damnit! That cop could have done anything to her. She looks around but he isn’t in the room. She sits up slightly and sighs. She is still hungry and she feels slightly sick. The door opens and the cop walks back in followed by a doctor. The cop sees that she is awake and he gives her a look. She swallows hard. The doctor smiles at her.).

Doctor: Mara?

(She goes to open her mouth, to tell this doctor everything that the cop has done but then she remembers what the cop said about Laura and Max never being found. That she would be seen as a mad woman. He’s probably only saying that to keep her mouth shut so he doesn’t land in the shit. But she has no idea what he’s really capable of. He could do anything. The doctor has moved closer to the bed. He is looking at her with concern.).

Doctor: How are you feeling?

Mara: Shit. You?

(The doctor raises his eyebrows and looks at the cop. The cop looks at Mara again and slowly shakes his head. She glares at him.).

Doctor: I’ve given the Sheriff your prescription. You will need to take antibiotics for the infection and get-

Mara: Plenty of rest. This isn’t my first miscarriage.

Doctor: No. I am sorry.

Mara: Everyone says that.

(She looks at the cop.).

Mara: But they ain’t.

(Something changes in his expression. It’s subtle but it’s there. Mara frowns. She can’t quite work out what he’s feeling but it seems to be...Regret? But no that can’t be right. He’s a sadistic asshole that likes drugging and kidnapping young girls. But then why kidnap Max? That makes no sense unless he was in the way. Yes he was a witness so he had to be taken too. That’s it. Her mind is suddenly spinning. Why is he doing this? Why shouldn’t she tell this doctor what he’s done? What is he gonna do really? Then she thinks about all the TV shows and all the documentaries. They always get away with it. The assholes always get away with it. She’s so torn over what to do that she hasn’t heard a word the doctor has been saying.).

Doctor: And I’ve put a leaflet in the bag regarding drug rehab clinics.

Mara: What? I’m not a junkie.

Doctor: We found Ketamine in your system.

Mara: Well I didn’t put it there.

(The cop is now giving her a warning look and he raises his eyebrows.).

Doctor: There’s no shame in admitting that you need help.

Mara: I don’t need help. I do just fine on my own.

Doctor: Hm. I’m sure you do.

(The doctor turns to the cop and he raises his eyebrows.).

Doctor: I’ll get the nurse to come in and remove your catheter.

(The doctor leaves. The cop walks over to the bed and looks down at her.).

Travis: Smart choice. Keeping your mouth shut.

Mara: Oh don’t get comfy. I’ll get you for this. Like I told you. You killed my baby. You have to live with that.

(She doesn’t know if he has a conscience or not. But if he does she hopes this is tearing him up inside.).

Mara: I don’t know exactly what you’re planning to do with me and my friends...But I will not let you get away with this.

(His expression hasn’t changed but he is now looking at the floor as if he can’t look her in the eyes.).

Travis: You should rest. We’ll be leaving soon.

(He turns away from her and sits back down in the chair. She lies there staring at the ceiling and he sees a tear roll down her cheek. He watches as it disappears into her hair. She sniffs.).

Mara: So when we leave...Where are we going back to prison?

Travis: Yes.

Mara: Why?

Travis: Just shut up.

Mara: No.

Travis: Want me to drug you again?

Mara: Ah yes. Drug her to shut her up again coz that’s much easier than explaining to her why you’ve kidnapped her and killed her baby.

(She turns and glares at him.).

Mara: You are not going to tell me to shut up anymore. You will not drug me anymore. I deserve more than this! I deserve an explanation as to why I’ve been locked up and drugged, and I deserve to have a baby!

(She lets out a sob. The cop sits there silently. The door opens and a nurse walks in.).

Nurse: Miss Benton?

Mara: That’s me.

Nurse: I’ve come to remove your catheter.

Mara: Great.

(The nurse looks at the cop.).

Nurse: I’m going to have to ask you to leave sir.

(The cop stands up and looks at Mara.).

Travis: I’ll be right outside.

(He gives her a warning look. A look that says keep your mouth shut. He then leaves the room. Mara lies there wondering again if she should just tell this nurse what’s happened. She opens her mouth to speak but a voice in the back of her head pipes up. But he’s the Sheriff. They won’t believe you.).

Nurse: How are you feeling?

Mara: Tired.

Nurse: I’m sorry for your loss.

Mara: Been here before. Should be used to it by now.

Nurse: No. You shouldn’t.

Mara: Maybe I should just give up trying. Someone’s obviously trying to tell me something.

(The nurse gives her a sympathetic look.).

Mara: Why does this keep happening to me?

Nurse: I don’t know sweetheart. But it isn’t your fault alright?

Mara: Not this time.

Nurse: What?

(Mara wonders why she just hasn’t opened her mouth and told this woman everything. What’s the cop gonna do? Kill her? He’d never get away with that. But he would deny it all wouldn’t he? He said he wouldn’t tell anyone where Laura and Max is. He probably wouldn’t either. She lies there thinking then lets out a wince.).

Nurse: You’ll be a little sore I’m afraid.

Mara: Yeah. I’ve done this before.

(The nurse has that sympathetic face on again. Mara hates catheters. They always leave you with a burning sensation down there and you feel like you need to pee constantly.).

Nurse: Right, we’re all done.

Mara: Great.

Nurse: Listen if you need to talk-

Mara: You can’t help me. Can I leave now?

Nurse: I don’t see why not. Just get some rest okay?

Mara: Yeah.

(The nurse leaves and the cop walks back in.).

Travis: She said you were free to go.

Mara: Apparently so.

(Mara sees the doctor from earlier. He’s followed Travis into the room.).

Doctor: If you need any help-

Mara: I don’t.

(The cop takes out a key and undoes the handcuffs. He is fixing her with a stare that could cut through steel. Like she’s going to try anything with the good doctor watching. That will only make her look like the criminal the cops made her out to be. She sits up and winces.).

Mara: Do I need to sign anything?

Doctor: No. You take it easy.

Mara: Yeah.

(The cop lowers the railing and Mara swings her legs round and slides off the bed onto her feet. She feels exhausted and dizzy. Probably the drugs that cop keeps filling her with. She falls forwards right into him and he catches her holding her up. She can feel his body pressed against hers and his hands gripping her arm and her side. She finds her feet and straightens up yanking herself away from him.).

Doctor: You alright?

Travis: Take it easy.

Mara: Don’t touch me. Where are my clothes?

Doctor: Right here.

(The doctor walks to the side unit and produces the outfit she was wearing when she came in. She stares at the blood on the skirt then swallows hard.).

Doctor: You can get changed in there.

(He indicates towards the bathroom. Mara grabs her clothes and walks through the door closing it behind her. She uses the loo then washes her hands before getting dressed. She leaves the hospital gown on the counter next to the sink. She opens the door and walks back into the room. The cop grabs her arms pinning them behind her back before he places the cuffs back on her.).

Mara: Get the fuck off me!

Doctor: Is that really necessary?

Travis: I’m afraid so.

Doctor: She’s very tired and in pain I hardly think she’s going to try running.

(Mara is breathing heavily and is hunched over. The cop takes hold of her arm.).

Travis: Come on.

(He picks up the bag the doctor gave him and guides Mara out of the room. The doctor watches them go. Mara just keeps walking the feel of the cops hand on her arm guiding her down the hall. Once they get outside she stops walking. She stands there feeling the breeze on her face.).

Travis: Come on.

(He tugs on her arm and leads her to his car. He opens the back door and guides her into the seat with his hand on her head. He then leans across her to put her seatbelt on. She leans back as far as she can to avoid brushing against him. He clips her belt in place then retreats shutting the door. He climbs in the drivers’ seat and starts the engine. She leans against the window as he pulls out of the hospital car park and heads off down the road.).

 (Mara is aware of someone shaking her gently. She opens her eyes and looks up to see the cop.).

Travis: Come on.

(She must have fallen asleep. She’s so tired and she’s dying for a piss. He grabs her arm and she allows herself to be pulled from the car. She sees that they are outside a police station. There are trees on one side of the small car park and weeds are growing everywhere. The place is in darkness and as he leads her up the steps of the building she looks back and sees a street and a small green but the place is deserted. She catches sight of another building across the way but it looks abandoned. There isn’t any glass in any of the windows. She is shoved through the door and watches as the cop locks it behind them. She looks around the room and sees several desks all with their chairs stacked neatly on them. There is only one light so most of the place is in darkness. It has a creepy feel to it. She takes a few steps forwards then stops dead as she hears a woman’s voice.).

Woman: They took everything from me. Make them pay.

Mara: What?

(The cop frowns at her. She looks at him.).

Travis: What?

Mara: Nothing.

(Either he didn’t hear it or he’s messing with her. Or maybe she’s finally gone mad and she’s hearing things. But then she thinks back to that woman in the woods. Laura and Max saw her too so she isn’t delusional.).

Travis: Come on.

(He leads her to the back of the room and they walk through a gate into a caged area. He then leads her past some benches and into the showers. He undoes the handcuffs and takes them off.).

Travis: Did you pack a towel?

Mara: What?

Travis: A towel?

Mara: Um...Yeah.

Travis: Good. I’ll go get you some clean clothes.

Mara: What?

Travis: I said I’d get you some clean clothes.

(She frowns at him.).

Travis: I’ll be back in a moment.

(He leaves the room and she hears the gate clang shut. She stands there for a moment then leaves the room. She sees that he’s locked the gate caging her in. Bastard. She turns and walks through an open doorway and finds herself outside the cells. She walks into the first one and uses the loo. Damn it hurts. She then walks over to the next cell. Laura is sat on the bed and she looks up at Mara shocked before leaping to her feet. She strides over to the bars.).

Laura: Oh my God Mara!

(Max shouts from the other cell.).

Max: Hey! You okay?

Mara: Not really.

Laura: Oh hon...What did he do to you?

Mara: He took me to the hospital.

Laura: He did?

Max: No way.

Mara: Yeah. Then he drugged me again.

Max: Asshole.

Laura: I don’t understand why he’d take you to hospital. I mean...Have you told anyone what he did to us?

Mara: I was gonna tell them what he did but...He said he’d never tell anyone where you were. He made me out to be some junkie and said that no one would believe me. I should have told them. I was so...Angry and now I have to go through this again! I shouldn’t have let him dictate what I said.

Max: This isn’t your fault.

Mara: I should have just told them.

Laura: I would have done. Like he could have covered this up!

Mara: They always find a way. They always weasel their way out of this crap. I have to make sure that he can’t do that.

(She grips the bars and closes her eyes letting out a breath.).

Laura: Are you okay?

Mara: You’ve already asked me that.

(The cop appears.).

Travis: Hey. No talking.

Mara: Why not? You still ain’t doing any.

(The cop narrows his eyes. Mara walks over to him.).

Mara: Why are we here?

(She goes dizzy again and has to lean against the wall. He steps towards her but she flinches away from him.).

Mara: Piss off! You’ve already done enough damage!

(He stops and stands there staring at her.).

Travis: Fine. I take it you don’t want your shower then.

Laura: Shower? How about some food first.

Max: Yeah we’re starving here.

Travis: Shut up.

(He looks at Mara.).

Travis: Come on. I haven’t got all night.

(She slowly follows him back to the showers. She sees that he’s left a towel and some clothes along with her small bag of toiletries. She puts her hand on the bag then opens it. Her toothpaste, toothbrush and her shampoo and shower gel are all in it along with her makeup. Her hairbrush is there too.).

Travis: Ten minutes.

(He leaves the room. She slowly takes her clothes off and stares at her reflection in the mirror. Tears sting her eyes and she walks over to the shower. The taps are covered in rust and grime and she bets there isn’t any hot water in this place. She turns the tap on and stands there with her hand under the water. To her surprise it comes out quite hot. She adjusts the temperature a bit then steps underneath the water. She stands there letting the hot water pour over her. Then she is sobbing. She leans against the wall and sinks to the floor. She tucks her knees to her chest and sits there. She doesn’t know how long she sits there for. She finally gets up and turns the shower off before going to the sink. She grabs the towel and wraps it around herself. There is a hairdryer attached to the wall and she lifts it off its hook before switching it on. It always takes ages to dry her hair as it’s so long. She switches off the dryer. She hears a knock from outside.).

Travis: Hurry it up.

(Her hair will have to do. She slowly opens her makeup bag then looks at her reflection again. She picks up her hairbrush and runs it through her hair. She then starts applying makeup. A few minutes later the cop walks in.).

Travis: Time’s up.

(He stares at her.).

Travis: Who’s all that for?

Mara: Nobody. I just...Want to feel like myself again. I want to feel normal again.

(He is silent.).

Mara: What, you thought it was for you?

(She glares at him then scoffs.).

Travis: Hurry up and get dressed.

Mara: Like you didn’t wander in here for a look.

(He shakes his head then leaves the room. Mara dries herself off and gets dressed. Her black leggings and baggy grey sweater. She wishes she had her pyjamas and her dressing gown. Maybe a coffee too. She sighs and looks at herself in the mirror again before she leaves the room. The cop leads her back to the cells and she walks into hers. She goes straight over to the bed and lies down facing away from him. She hears him close and lock the cell door before she hears his footsteps echoing away down the hall.).

Laura: Mara?

Mara: What?

Laura: Are you okay?

Mara: You keep asking me that. The answer is still the same. No.

Laura: I’m so sorry. This shouldn’t have happened.

Mara: No it shouldn’t. Maybe you should have listened to me and gone to the motel like I said.

Laura: Hey this isn’t my fault.

(Mara doesn’t answer. Deep down she knows this isn’t really Laura’s fault. But at the same time she can’t help but feel angry at her for not listening. Mara doesn’t know how long she lies there crying silently. She hears the cops footsteps again and something slides across the floor.).

Travis: Dinner.

(She then hears him walk to the other two cells. She stays where she is. She doesn’t feel like eating and whatever shit he’s given her probably isn’t worth it anyway. She hears him stop at her cell.).

Travis: Hey. You need to eat. Your tablet’s there too. The doc said you had to take ‘em.

(She doesn’t move or answer him. She hears him sigh before his footsteps disappear up the hall again.).

[notalexus]

"History does not disclose the name of the first black person dragged onto a slave ship, the first black person held in newly constructed prisons, or the first black person forcibly recruited to work on a colonial plantation. But black people have been arriving late ever since, hoping that the slavers have left, the ships traveled beyond the horizon, the whip silenced, the work done, the suffering gone.

Black time—whether you call it colored people time (CPT) or African timing (AT) or the deliciousness of syncopation—black time is about delay, interruption, break: strategic lateness.

Black time is long time, deep time, waiting time, excavated time, time around time. The not-here, the not-yet-there, the it-will-be-coming, the it-has-been-to-come, the it’s-not-wasn’t-yet, the it-was-just-here-yet-to-be-now. The fold, the crease, the wrinkle, the tick that does not tock. The tock that does not talk. The silence that does not break. The breaking that will not be broken. The.

You-just-missed-it.

Black time is hungry time. Ravenous time. Gluttonous time. Cannibal time.

Black time is waiting time, time after the reservation, time after other people’s time, time cut by other people’s time, time as didn’t-see-you, time as can-you-wait, time as you-again, time as I-don’t-have-time-for-this-shit.

Black time is dropped consonants, slipped sounds, skipped beats, don’t-wanna-ain’t-gonna-coz-it-don’t-make-no-difference time. Black time is learned time, doing time, time done, time-to-do, time-never-done, time-undone. Time-served, time-to-serve, time-serving, time-unserved, time-put-off, time-for-time, pipeline-time, skipping-time, cut-time, time-cut, cutting-time.

I haven’t seen you for a minute.

Sorry I’m posting this late. I was running behind."

– Black Time, Keguro Macharia

[kazxmp]

“I would love to be surprised.” The words are paired with a grin because he genuinely would probably get so much joy from seeing this sweet man lay someone onto the cement. He has full faith that Insoo could do it, but seeing it?? That would be the vibe of the century for Kaz. So the words aren’t degrading at all despite how they may sound.  Kaz hasn’t ever really talked to Hua, but he knows people that do, and he does in fact talk about Insoo. How could he not? With such a radiant and kind man in his life. That would be like someone wondering if Kaz talked about Heather! That man comes up in so many conversations of Kaz’s. So; “I’m sure it sounds about the same. And if it doesn’t then there’s our reason to lay him out.” Okay that was the last time he was gonna make that joke and this time he did start chuckling as he said it; enjoying the lighthearted air around them. “You ain’t gotta thank me for letting you know what the truth is. But.. You’re welcome for pointing it out.” He grinned in such a small manor as spoke. Genuinely he was happy that he did. Kaz himself s dense as fuck, and even when things are pointed out to him that are seemingly obvious, he still doesn’t see it. So maybe it’s a good thing he points it out for other people too.  “It’s good to let that shit out coz otherwise that shit stews and brews up the greatest brain fuck ever.” He would know. From experience.  Kaz was so great at telling other people some really good stuff, only to turn around and not take any of the advice or smart words. Even now, as Insoo asks how he is, ten trillion things pop up in his head.  I’m so emotionally constipated that I can’t accept love that’s right in front of mu face. I hate my body so much that I hide from everyone who gets close to me. My new moss strain got touched by too much sun and now the corner is burnt and that’s really fucking devastating. I only worked really fucking hard on that. And I have bouts of anger that spill from my body in ways that make me feel like I want to tear my insides up.  But naturally, the only thing out of his nicotine flavored lips is; “I’m alive so I guess I’m doing pretty fine.” No smile paired with those words, though. 

If only Insoo realized that he himself is what makes his guests at ease and comfortable. The man is kind and easy to get along with, he doesn’t need his space to be the comfortable part coz the kid had it covered himself.  To be able to make Kaz feel comfortable in a space that is not his, is a huge feat of it’s own; so that says wonders about the man Kaz has been spending more time with.  “Oh you see it’s not that I don’t think you can handle your own. I’m sure you’re plenty capable and by all means you can flat him out first, but then I’m getting mine in.” Kaz is a firm believer that people can stick up for themselves, he knows not to judge a book by it’s cover. He knows that from experience.  But when someone fucks with someone he considers a friend? Kaz is known to snap. The little ball of rage just waited for a reason to fuck someone up; and someone fucking with his friend is a more than perfect reason.  But the goth’s features soften as he keeps his eyes focused on Bomi.  One thing you start to notice more when you don’t look people in the eyes is tonal changes. Sure there are obvious ones that everyone can hear but he doesn’t always have the visual expression to go with the words. So he picks up every tonal change from the change in breathing patterns between words or the way the ends of someone’s T’s and D’s get more pronounced. So listening to the way Insoo’s tone changes so intimately when speaking of Hua makes his insides feel gooey and he can’t tell if it’s being he’s happy for the kid or if it reminds him of a situation so similar to his own minus the... boyfriend part.  Kaz listened quietly as Insoo explained it all and if the other man had been looking, there was a soft smile plastered on Kaz’s face the whole time. “You know you start to whisper when you talk about him? It get’s so quiet I can tell he really does make you happy. That’s sick man, genuinely I hope things continue to go great for you two.” He scoops Bomi up in his arms and stands up, scratching under her chin. “I mean, I’m still gonna threaten him.” A playful grin slides up his face as he passes a short glance to Insoo. “But I get it. Proud of you for not being too afraid of your feelings.” Okay that one hit a little close to home for him but he really was happy to see this work out so well for his new found friend.

[lucifersresources]

taylor swift // midnights rp meme. 

edit/alter/change pronouns etc as you see fit!  

lavender haze. 

meet me at midnight. 

you don’t ever say too much. 

i’ve been under scrutiny. 

you handle it beautifully. 

all this shit is new to me. 

i’m damned if i do give a damn what people say. 

all they keep asking me is if i’m gonna be your bride. 

they’re bringing up my history. 

they’re bringing up my history, but you weren’t even listening. 

i just need this love spiral. 

maroon. 

we lost track of time again. 

you were my closest friend. 

how’d we end up on the floor anyway? 

i see you every day now. 

i chose you. 

we were shaking. 

how the hell did we lose sight of us again? 

ain’t that the way shit always ends. 

i feel you, no matter what. 

and i lost you. 

i wake with your memory over me. 

that’s a real fuckin’ legacy. 

anti-hero. 

i get older, but just never wiser. 

midnights become my afternoons. 

my depression works the graveyard shift. 

i should not be left to my own devices. 

i end up in crisis. 

i wake up screaming from dreaming. 

one day i’ll watch as you’re leaving.

one day i’ll watch as you’re leaving, coz you got tired of my scheming. 

it’s me, hi. i’m the problem, it’s me. 

i’m the problem. 

i’ll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror. 

it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero. 

i’m a monster on the hill. 

did you hear my covert narcissism i disguise as altruism like some kind of congressman? 

life will lose all its meaning. 

she thinks i left them in the will. 

she’s laughing up at us from hell. 

snow on the beach. 

life is emotionally abusive. 

time can’t stop me quite like you did. 

i’m unglued, thanks to you. 

it’s like snow at the beach: weird, but fucking beautiful. 

you wanting me tonight, feels impossible. 

this scene feels like what i once saw on a screen. 

i’ve never seen someone lit from within. 

my smile is like i won a contest. 

to hide that would be so dishonest. 

it’s fine to fake it till you make it. 

i can’t speak. 

i don’t even dare to wish it. 

can this be a real thing? 

you’re on your own, kid. 

summer went away, still the yearning stays. 

i play it cool with the best of them. 

he’s gonna notice me. 

we’re the best of friends anyway. 

i hear it in your voice. 

i didn’t choose this town, i dream of getting out. 

there’s just one who could make me stay. 

i waited ages to see you there. 

you never cared. 

you’re on your own, kid. you always have been. 

you’re on your own, kid. 

i see the great escape. 

he loves me not. 

something different bloomed. 

i’ll run away. 

i gave my blood, sweat and tears for this. 

the jokes weren’t funny. 

i took the money. 

my friends from home don’t know what to say. 

there were pages turned with the bridges burned. 

everything you lose is a step you take. 

you’ve got no reason to be afraid. 

you can face this. 

midnight rain. 

he wanted it comfortable, i wanted that pain. 

he wanted a bride, i was making my own name. 

he stayed the same. 

all of me changed. 

my town was a wasteland. 

for some, it was paradise. 

i broke his heart coz he was nice. 

i was midnight rain. 

i guess sometimes we all get just what we wanted. 

he never thinks of me. 

i guess we all get some kind of haunted. 

i never think of him. 

i never think of him, except on midnights like this. 

question...? 

we had one thing going on, i swear that it was something. 

i don’t remember who i was before you. 

i just may like some explanations. 

can i ask you a question? 

did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room? 

what did you do?

did you ever leave her house in the middle of the night? 

did you wish you’d put up more of a fight? 

it was too much. 

do you wish you could still touch her? 

did you realise out of time? 

fuckin’ politics and gender roles. 

i just may like to have a conversation. 

does it feel like everything’s just like second best after that meteor strike? 

i’m sure that’s what’s suitable. 

vigilante shit. 

draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man. 

you did some bad things, but i’m the worst of them. 

sometimes i wonder which one will be your last lie. 

they say looks can kill and i might try. 

i don’t dress for women, i don’t dress for men, lately i’ve been dressing for revenge. 

i don’t start shit.

i don’t start shit, but i can tell you how it ends. 

don’t get sad, get even. 

i’ve been dressing for revenge. 

she needed cold hard proof, so i gave her some. 

picture me, thick as thieves with your ex-wife. 

she looks so pretty, driving in your benz. 

ladies always rise above. 

i’m on my vigilante shit again. 

bejeweled. 

i think i’ve been a little too kind. 

didn’t notice you walking all over my peace of mind. 

putting someone first only works when you’re in their top five. 

i’m going out tonight. 

best believe i’m still bejeweled when i walk in the room. 

i can still make the whole place shimmer. 

familiarity breeds comtempt. 

don’t put me in the basement when i want the penthouse of your heart. 

i polish up real nice. 

i think i’ve been too good of a girl. 

i think it’s time to teach some lessons. 

i made you my world. 

have you heard? i can reclaim the land. 

i miss you, but i miss sparkling. 

sadness became my whole sky. 

but some guy said my aura’s moonstone. 

you can try to change my mind, but you might have to wait in line. 

a diamond’s gotta shine. 

labyrinth. 

it only hurts this much right now. 

i’ll be getting over you my whole life. 

i’m falling in love.

i’m falling in love again. 

it only feels this raw right now. 

lost in the labyrinth of my mind. 

you would break your back to make me break a smile. 

you know how much i hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back. 

karma. 

you’re talking shit. 

addicted to betrayal. 

you’re terrified to look down. 

you’ll see the glare of everyone you burned. 

it’s coming back around. 

karma is my boyfriend. 

karma’s a relaxing thought. aren’t you envious that for you it’s not? 

my pennies made your crown. 

don’t you know that cash ain’t the only price? 

ask me what i learned from all those years. 

ask me what i earned from all those tears. 

ask me why so many fade, but i’m still here.

so many fade.

i’m still here. 

karma is the thunder rattling your ground. 

karma’s on your scent like a bounty hunter. 

sweet nothing. 

they said the end is coming.

the end is coming. 

everyone’s up to something. 

i find myself running home to your sweet nothings. 

all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing. 

this happens all the time. 

you should be doing more. 

to you i can admit that i’m just too soft for all of it. 

i’m just too soft for all of it. 

mastermind. 

the planets and the fates and all the stars aligned. 

the touch of a hand lit the fuse. 

checkmate, i couldn’t lose.

i couldn’t lose. 

what if i told you none of it was accidental. 

none of it was accidental. 

the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me. 

what if i told you i’m a mastermind? 

i’m a mastermind. 

now you’re mine. 

we were born to be the pawn in every lover’s game. 

if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. 

strategy sets the scene for the tale. 

the first night that you saw me, i knew i wanted your body.

i wanted your body. 

it was all my design. 

no one wanted to play with me as a little kid.

i’ve been scheming. 

i’ve been scheming like a criminal ever since.

i’ve been scheming like a criminal ever since to make them love me. 

this is the first time i’ve felt the need to confess. 

i’m only cryptic and machiavellian coz i care. 

you knew the entire time. 

you knew that i’m a mastermind. 

the great war. 

my knuckles were bruised like violets. 

cursed you as i sleep talked. 

spineless in my tomb of silence. 

tore your banners down, took the battle underground. 

flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur. 

my hand was the one you reach for all throughout the great war. 

i vowed not to cry anymore. 

if we survived the great war. 

you drew up some good faith treaties. 

you said i have to trust more freely. 

you were playing with fire. 

maybe it’s the past that’s talking. 

maybe it’s the past that’s talking-- telling me to punish you for things you never did. 

i justified it. 

i vowed not to fight anymore. 

i vowed not to fight anymore if we survived the great war. 

got a sense i’d been betrayed. 

that was the night i nearly lost you.

i nearly lost you. 

i really thought i’d lost you. 

we can plant a memory garden. 

there’s no morning glory, it was war, it wasn’t fair. 

we will never go back to that bloodshed. 

we’re burned for better. 

i vowed i would always be yours.

i would always be yours. 

paris. 

all the outfits were terrible. 

i’m so in love that i might stop breathing. 

i was taken by the view. 

romance is not dead. 

romance is not dead if you keep it just yours. 

levitate above all the messes made. 

i want to brainwash you into loving me forever. 

high infidelity. 

i didn’t know you were keeping count. 

you said i was freeloading. 

put on your records and regret me. 

i bent the truth too far tonight. 

i was dancing around it. 

do i really have to chart the constellations in his eyes? 

seemed like the right thing at the time. 

there’s so many different ways that you can kill the one you love. 

there’s so many different ways that you can kill the one you love. the slowest way is never loving them enough. 

do i really have to tell you how he brought me back to life? 

glitch. 

we were supposed to be just friends. 

maybe i’ll see you out some weekend. 

i think there’s been a glitch. 

i’m fastening myself to you. 

i’m not even sorry. 

i was supposed to sweat you out. 

our love is blacking out. 

the system’s breaking down. 

i’d go back to wanting dudes who give nothing. 

would’ve, could’ve, should’ve. 

if you tasted poison you could’ve spit me out. 

if you’d never looked my way i would’ve stayed on my knees. 

i damn sure never would’ve danced with the devil. 

the pain was heaven. 

now that i’m grown, i’m scared of ghosts. 

memories feel like weapons. 

i wish you’d left me wondering. 

if you never touched me i would’ve gone along with the righteous. 

you made me feel important. 

you made me feel important, then you tried to erase us. 

you tried to erase us. 

you’re a crisis of my faith. 

if i’d only played it safe. 

i miss who i used to be. 

the tomb won’t close. 

i regret you all the time. 

i can’t let this go. 

i fight with you in my sleep. 

the wound won’t close. 

i keep on waiting for a sign. 

if clarity’s in death, then why won’t this die? 

living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts.

give me back my girlhood, it was mine first. 

dear reader. 

if it feels like a trap, you’re already in one. 

just run. 

pick somewhere and just run. 

desert all your past lives. 

if you don’t recognise yourself, that means you did it right. 

never take advice from someone who’s falling apart. 

bend when you can, snap when you have to. 

you don’t have to answer just cause they asked you. 

the greatest of luxuries is your secrets. 

when you aim at the devil, make sure you don’t miss. 

i prefer hiding in plain sight. 

you should find another guiding light. 

[superlocktvd]

KinnPorsche | Episode 13

This week has been quite dramatic for the KinnPorsche fandom. However we have a new episode today and since I only get to do this just one more time after today not gonna go beyond the episode. 

Let’s dive in what has been one of the most awaited episodes (something I say about every episode). The thoughts and feelings of my first watch of episode 13 shall begin now

This episode not only Vegas gets punched but we have been choke slammed with the copious amount of pain and suffering 

Vegas and Pete right of the bat. Vegas that’s one way to flirt I guess

Vegas just a bullet through his head. You have the entire fandom’s blessing to do so. Hell I can assure you volunteers too. 

Vegas please it’s been 10minutes I am already crying.

Tankhun the only reason everybody else except the main family is buried 6ft deep is because you don’t hold the reins

Porsche no just no..whatever you are thinking it’s just not ok

They said I LOVE YOU...and with the time it took for Kinn to say it back you can see how much strength and trust he had to gather to put it out there. 

Jesus christ the pool scene..I have nail marks on cheeks because I cannot scream right now. Please god is testing me and I ain’t his strongest soldier. My heart is pounding. Time to hit pause and take deep breaths. 

So my crying has intensified. will soon be bawling if that’s not everyone don’t really know what you guys are watching

Porchay really is strong.. Last episode he spoke back, this episode he clocked.. I mean kudos to you 

They went the novel way...in family. Lord one missing word changes the freaking context please.

Porsche and Vegas of course, this duo never fails does it?? *sarcasm*

The iron of Vegas/Porsche and Kinn/Pete on opposite sides just wow. There is some lyricism here which once my brain works I can say although for shits and giggles why don’t Pete and Kinn just be serves the other dumbo pair who is  forever meeting in the dark with no one around. 

A lot many things happened will keep adding once I find my brain to work because I am dehydrated. I am crying but there ain’t tears. This is worrisome not gonna lie. As much as I loved those little sprinkles of comedy. I cannot recap it because I am no longer in possession of coherent thoughts and in terrible need to touch grass for reality to kick in. I have never been so on the edge with an episode.

Also this episode has quite literally is an answer to those people who ever underestimated the production, acting or anything about the show.  Again my opinion coz haters gonna hate.

EMOTIONAL DAMAGE and if I die what a way to go.

PS - I am not ready for next week. I cannot accept a reality where I don’t get my weekly KinnPorsche. 

[lightskinrry]

Y’all willl be like the book is anti police and pro LGBTQ but it’s literally written by a straight white woman and y’all then don’t get why making a movie promoting the hot pop star as a gay cop is humanizing a profession that kills LGBTQ youth and especially LGBTQ people of color . Y’all know dam well the only thing the white gay libs will see is hot cop Harry styles and knowing perfectly the movie will be directed and made all thru a white lens I don’t expect anything in terms of actual message on law enforcement institutions . Anyway I would love for Harry to play a gay lead . Put him in a rom com and make him fall in love with the guy next door but don’t think I will support any shit show of a movie representing how a gay cop deals with being a cop and gay lmaosksi I don’t give a fuck . True to life experience ; you’re conflicted about being a minority and working in institutions that systemically oppress your own ; QUIT . End of the story

And the only thing y’all should consider is just shutting the fuck up when black fans express concern or disagreement with something as tone deaf as making this movie . I ain’t putting a gun to yo head sayin you can’t see it . I’m vocal about how fucked up i think this is coz I’m a fan of Harry and at the end of the day it won’t change anybody’s life and I still wanna give Harry the slurp vaccum 3000 but if I wanna be mad I’ll be mad . Period

[jewishbarbies]

https://www.tumblr.com/jewishbarbies/768080310343778304/gotta-admit-bernie-sanders-is-getting-ridiculously?source=share

Bernie been pissing me off too but I ain’t wanna say it coz people get real protective of that old ass man nowadays, as if he’s their lord and saviour. Did the Dems do him wrong in 2016/20? Yeah, sure whatever. But Bernie has NEVER BEEN POPULAR BECAUSE HE IS RADICAL. The demographics that vote the most are old people and middle aged people and Bernie ain’t never been popular to those demographics. Maybe now, in the age of radicalism, but not in ‘16 and definitely not in ‘20. He keep acting like he would be the saving grace of America, but he forgets that he failed to capture the support from southerners, especially southern black folk. And it ain’t coz he Jewish, it’s because he has no fucking charisma at all and came off as a stuck up northerner and talking down on people. They’re gonna tell you it’s because black voters are more conservative, but it’s more complicated than that. The Clintons put in the work over the last thirty years and were actual active members of the Democratic Party. Bernie was not an active Democrat for most of his career and served a constituency of mostly white people in Vermont. Add on top of that the endorsements of Clinton by local black leaders, and Bernie Sanders never stood a chance. Also, black voters aren’t afraid of social spending, but Bernie’s specific type of social spending is more appealing to middle income to affluent college students. He had the wrong message and the wrong institutional bonafides. But people gon say it’s coz “black democrats are more conservative than white democrats” THAT AINT THE TRUTH AND YOU KNOW IT. BERNIE JUST FAILED.

But in terms of him talking shit bout the Dems and Kamala nowadays, he been pissing me off because he truly doesn’t get the real problem here. He doesn’t get that he himself aided towards the Dems losing the election.

One thing I will say is that the republicans won because they vote red no matter WHAT. No matter how outlandish their politics are, they vote as a united front, which dem voters didn’t. And radicalism aided towards that. One issue voters aided towards that. All of that shit is shit that Bernie himself largely contributed towards. And now he wanna act all high and mighty, get your old ass outta politics and go play golf. And take McConnell with you.

He keeps pushing radicalism and he doesn’t seem to get that radicalism on either side is what’s destroying this fucking country. Radical right wingers are everybody, but so is radical leftism. Does he not see how radical leftism is harming black and Jewish folk? The two demographics that vote Dem overwhelmingly because we know what’s at stake if we don’t? Maybe he sees it and doesn’t care, idk. “They’re not radical enough” WE DONT NEED RADICALISM.

The way he be talking about Kamala and the Dems on the podcasts and shit, it’s like he wanted them to lose to “prove a point”. And that shit pisses me off. Because at the end of the day, Bernie’s an old, rich, white (or white passing Jewish) guy. Project 2025 and all ain’t gonna affect him like the way it’ll affect us. He’s old as shit. He won’t be here much longer. And he rich too. He ain’t gonna suffer from the tariffs and shit like we will. So for him to act like this knowing how much pull he got… idk man. Shit pisses me off.

Sorry for the rant. I’ve just been thinking this for weeks. Bernie been unpopular with voters for a long time and his bitter ass won’t get over losing.

well said.

Bernie did a lot for activism in his life but he’s doing actual harm to the people he claims to be an activist for now. he should just go back to local politics or get out of the game altogether imo.

[moxfirefly]

I come bearing the gift of Angst™️ like yall this took for fucking ever and this is some sad af shit here so I’m sorry but it was an idea that hatched and I wanted to do it.

Rated Mature (18+ and up only)

TW: Blood, mentions of alcohol, death

Tagging a few Lee fans, my apologies already lol @southernblossoms @aurora-the-kunoichi @ray-jaykub

“Now I'm trying to wake you up,

To pull you from the liquid sky,

Coz if I don't we'll both end up,

With just your song to say goodbye.”

Leonardo sees the night sky above him, the hard rain falling down on him and a vision of something he finds so beautiful.

You.

He smiles at the image. He welcomes it and allows himself to be whisked away.

The cold night slips away in hues and as the rain falls down in harsh drops he refuses to give the cold pavement beneath him much thought. He sees something shiny fly across his vision and the only sound he surrounds himself is the sound of your laugh.

“I-I’m... S-“

_______________

You wake with a startle and a gasp. The coldness in the room too intense for the usual New York winter. You wrap yourself in the duvet and patter towards the heater, it’s clearly not working for some reason and you contemplate freezing and forgetting.

Sitting on the carpet, legs crossed and wrapped up you try your best to not let your thoughts stray. The cellphone in your hand is warm and your finger hovers over Donatello’s number.

There’s a large duvet on the living room window. Your eyes have refused to land there, to linger and allow for the icy sensation to run through your veins. Every so often you wonder about moving, not just from your apartment but from New York. To leave everything behind and forget that this was your reality.

-Don’t think about it-

The sentence echoes and echoes and echoes.

You press down on the number.

________________

Leonardo secretly enjoyed being babied. He emphasized secretly, even if he knew that you knew to some degree. Your eyes trail bruises that tell a story of violence but Leo was always vigilant of never dragging you down that road.

It’s a horror show.

You press a frozen bag of peas to his eye, the swelling and black ring angry. “You can’t keep this up” You whisper against the top of his head.

“I have to, nobody is going to end this. Not the cops, not nobody that ain’t us... or me” There’s leftover adrenaline in his voice and if you weren’t sure you could command him to stay he’d probably haul ass and go out again before the sun decided to rise once more and ruin plans.

Leo is convinced that only he can bring down Shredder. Only he can save everything and everyone. It’s a stupid thought you think to yourself, that only one mutant such as himself could even pull it off.

But a huge chunk of himself doesn’t want his family involved like this. He doesn’t want the risk. “Your need to control everything is really annoying” You let go of the bag, he manages to catch it and place it back. You exit the bathroom and contemplate just how much bleach you’re going to need to get all of this blood out of your carpet.

You stare and feel your eyes begging to fog. The image of Leo climbing in a mess of cuts and bruises. Something within you wants to scream and never stop. You hear Leo get up, heavy steps approaching you as you stand like a ghost in the middle of the living room.

“Y/n...” Leo’s voice is soft but that hint of guilt stabs the end of your name. “Just leave with me, why can’t we go somewhere else? We can take your family and just leave, Lee” You turn around, fingers digging into your scalp. The manic feeling rises inside of you and your tears have to spill. Leo’s eyes look broken because he wishes he could give you this and everything you’ve ever desired.

“You don’t owe these people your life, Leo” You press a hand to your mouth as a quiet sob escapes you. “Please just-“ Your tears spill and he’s there in an instant to catch you and hold you so close it almost hurts. He soothes you with kisses and caresses even as you angrily want to shove him away for making this so difficult you fall against him.

The worry eats away at your insides. Why can’t he just understand that the world will never be rid of evil? It’ll find a new host to use and bring more chaos and death. Leo holds you close, even as you collapse against him in anger and fear, he holds you and tries to quiet the loud voice in your head.

The voice that bellows, ‘This isn’t going to end well.’

_____________

Leo’s eyes flutter open, an urge stuck in his throat that chokes him. The inherit need to cough pushes him somewhat upwards but as he tries he feels copper in his mouth, the taste of pennies too strong, god he wants to vomit. Warmth spills from his mouth as he looks about, eyes scanning but the rainfall blurs his vision.

He hears screaming.

He knows Shredder’s down, the monster hasn’t moved.

Leo keeps hearing his name in the distance, his side feels a pin prick when he tries to roll over the pain shoots all over his body and liquid spills from his mouth.

It’s blood.

______________

“Sorry for calling so late but it’s either that or freezing to death” You prepared coffee as Donatello eyed the heater. “I hate winter so I understand” He picked up a wrench when you came into the room, mugs in hand and the blanket still wrapped around your cold body.

“How are you holding up?” He took a sip making a face, the harsh taste of whiskey hitting the back of his mouth. “Went too hard on the added flavoring?” You chuckled, sipping from your mug without hesitation. Donnie placed it next to his tools, his eyes had scanned you when he came over and you could see the worry.

It was safe to say you weren’t looking your best, but then again you hadn’t slept right in the last six months and the clutter of bottles in your trash bin spoke of how you’d been spending your evenings. “Miss seeing you coming around, Mikey misses you a lot” Donnie started to fix the heater, occasionally taking a sip from the spiked coffee. You held the mug tightly, it had been a few months since you stopped going mostly because you always found yourself stepping into his room...

-Don’t think about it-

“How’s everyone?” You asked avoiding the question. Donnie’s shoulders shrugged, pulling apart pieces of your dingy old heater. “Mikey’s doing okay, he’s going on solo patrols really matured you know?” The youngest turtle had changed, there was still a spark of his mischievous ways but he had taken his duties more seriously as of late. “...and Raph?” You weren’t too sure if the subject still remained sour, the brute had a falling out with the tech genius around the time of...

“Raph stops by once in a while, for Mikey’s sake and well since Dad hasn’t been too well health wise” You hang your head, the light brown liquid in your hands still in the porcelain. Splinter was old, it was understandable, maybe you should stop by and see him.

“Splinter is strong, Don” You took a generous gulp, the burn of the whiskey dulling you. “He’s gotten older Y/N, he’s frail... I’m keeping him comfortable” He dug through tools, pushing aside things he didn’t need. You couldn’t help take in Donatello’s features, he had bulked up a little more, more definition in his arms but his eyes still spoke of the little sleep he was allowing himself. Your eyes landed on his wrist, a small piece of blue fabric wrapped around it.

Your eyes burned, so you chased it with another sip of your coffee. Rest hadn’t found you either.

“You two should make up, you need each other” Donnie sighed at your retort, he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “Getting through Raph isn’t as easy as getting through a firewall, you know how fucking stubborn he could be” He shook the heater, it tried whirring back to life but no luck. “He’s stubborn but he’ll listen even if you think he doesn’t-“ Donnie smacked the heater, hard enough something dented, hard enough for you to flinch.

“He doesn’t comprehend that we lost him too, Y/N, he wants to blame me or himself or... but no okay? He doesn’t get to act like a fucking child because it’s been half a year and it still hurts” Donnie gripped the machine, eyes shutting tightly, all you could do was remain quiet. Your chest felt too tight, you didn’t want to hear it.

Please, don’t say it.

_____________

The rain always brought an unpleasant smell. It’s probably due to how polluted this god forsaken city is. Aside from the smell of shit, there was that coppery scent in the air too and you smelt it as soon as you got to the roof via the fire escape. The guys had been chasing Leonardo and Shredder, April and you on car the others on the truck. This solo vendetta of Leo’s had gone too far and while he had tracked down the bastard it didn’t mean he had to take this on by himself.

The rain fell in hard drops, each resonating as it smacked down onto you. You looked about the roof trying to spot anything, the calm too eerie. The blood almost swam by you, meeting your sneakers, a proverbial map to your destination.

And what a awaited you...

There was no feasible way to prepare yourself, even the small prayer you whispered under your breath not enough to silence the gut wrenching dread that befell you alongside the rain. Your knees hit the pavement hard and you couldn’t seem to see clearly enough where to press down and hold the life slipping out of him.

It’s all mute from there, you remember the sobs mixed into his name. The slow way his eyelids fluttered and the shallow breaths he took, he wanted to move so badly to hold you close and tell you it’s alright. The part of his mind crashing, slowly but surely losing light just saw the image of you as a comforting sign.

That while he laid there feeling darkness overtake him, he’d at least have the image of you above him. You begged nevertheless, telling him to remain awake that the others would be there soon, even going so far as to try and move his heavy frame but you were too small and Leo would simply just not budge. Trembling hands pushed on Raphael’s name, something akin to ‘hurry’ escaping your mouth but your shaking hands couldn’t hold the phone long enough before more blood gushed out and you tried to hold it all in for Leo.

His hand landed on your cheek, thumb caressing the spot.

“I.. I’m s-sorry” He heaved out, hand slipping, blue eyes suddenly too dark.

He wasn’t breathing.

Leo wasn’t breathing.

_____________

You felt hands on your shoulder before you snapped out of that terrible memory. Donatello’s concerned gaze on you.

“Y/N? Hey, are you okay?” You couldn’t quite catch the image of Donnie, he was distorted as your eyes welled up with tears and you fought back the urge to let them drop. Because for six months you had been crying your eyes out for him, for six months you had not known the word peace, for six months you had stared at a window that yielded no end to your pain. In one manic night you had thrown up your comforter and nailed the damn thing over that fucking window, you had contemplated tearing up the carpets that had so many specks of Leo’s blood, you had tried to quiet the urge to burn your bedroom because every corner of it had some essence of him in or on it.

Some days you were so furious that he had done this. That he had died for a cause that would go unmerited, leaving his friends, his family and you to hold on to unamended pieces.

That very night he had been taken back to the lair, each brother having a moment with him, April as well. You were given one last moment with him, to be around him, to hold his impossibly cold hand.

At some point Splinter had stepped in and sat down next to you, his hand came to rest on your shoulder. It had to be admired, even if his eyes spoke that his world was crashing before him, he remained the rock that protected against the crashing waves.

“He loved you... with everything he had” Splinter had said and while there was comfort in there, the pain was far too great. You don’t remember stepping out let alone getting up, in fact most of that night had been a blur. At some point Raphael had supposedly picked you up and laid you down on the cot April used when she stayed over. Somewhere between that you had stumbled to Leo’s room and you had stayed there for a week.

That week had turned into a month.

For thirty days you stayed among his things, among his scent, on a bed you had been countless times on in countless ways. In the misery of it all there was comfort there, even if each night you dreamt of him, even if you swore that at times you heard your name being called by him. It was worse when you woke startled feeling as if he had ran his hand down your hip.

Around the end of that first month Mikey had stepped in with some food (much like he had done everyday) but this time he had placed it on the the night table and climbed into the bed with you.

He was crying.

You both held onto each other, anchoring one another to remain in the tough currents because this storm wouldn’t go away anytime soon.

You give Mikey credit for pulling you out of that room, even if you left a good chunk of your heart there, the other portions on that forsaken rooftop, the rest with Leo. You hadn’t been to the lair every since.

Donnie cupped your face, thumbs drying the tear tracks on your cheeks. “I’m sorry” You spoke out, not really sure why but all Donnie did was pull you close and hug you and you’re sure you haven’t hugged him in six months and while his scent is nowhere near that of Leo’s and his body lean muscle the contrast of his eldest brother, you still fell apart against the familiarity of it.

You sobbed against him quietly, dropping your mug, the shattering not jarring enough to bring you or him back.

And why come back to the present? To a cold home? To a place where Leo only existed in memories and lucid dreams?

Donnie held you close, his own tears falling and whatever fortress he had built up in this time had shattered like glass.

Leonardo was dead and there was simply nothing the two of you could do.

[fuckin-pistol-whipped]

mid night whiny ramble abt my bs

i fuckn kno bettr than 2 trust nobody atp. esp irl. i got my homie & fiance & ain’t nobody else i should let round. stoppd talkn 2 th guitarist all tgethr & been cuttn out evrybody i can. reconnectd lots of ol friends th past week r so, but jst like that theyall gettn ghostd again. i evn debate keepn in touch w th fostrs i been tryna stick by. i evn ghostd this girl who's workd hr ass off gettn into touch w me & we been tryna work through th shit we went through tgethr, but i jst can't do it no mor. mb i'm a selfish asshole fr it & mb i'm irresposible coz i'm not gonn take th blame, but point it elsewhere. i spent yrs fightn tooth & nail fr th fuckr, swearn we'd b brothrs. he was a good fuckn keyboardist 2, taught me evrything i kno abt playn synths & shit. got distant from him like i did evrybody else. Dev & my sis died within months each othr, stoppd talkn 2 ppl aftr th funerals. but we got back 2 talkn aftr partyn at th trap tgethr. he wantd 2 b back in my life . i welcomd him back on in & days latr he's got me pinnd on th kitchen floor & has his way w me. i shoulda seen it comn. been fuckd ovr enuff it shouldn't b a surprise. it shouldn't hurt no mor. i love my fiance, but evn she ain't once care 2 make sure i felt comfortable or OK w sex. so it shouldn't hurt no mor. i should b usd 2 it. should like sex atp but i still only have vry vry selective & short spurts of enjoyment but othrwise it makes me feel sick & usd. he fuckn knew that 2. he sat w me through bad trips & break downs ovr th sexual abuse i been through. fr fucks sake aftr i was assaultd by my adoptd dad th 2nd time, i stayd th night at that fuckn keyboardist's place. he fuckn took care me aftr i'd been sexually assaultd then went & did th same 2 me. how am i sposd 2 trust anybody else 2 come back in my life aftr that? they're all fuckn sick & no mattr how they swear they forgivn me i kno they havent & they all jst out 2 hurt me

[chobit92]

The Walking Dead: Lance Hornsby x OC

(Mara Benton sits on the hard cot in the small cell. The cell doesn’t bother her in the slightest. She once spent three years in a cell much like this one. She stares at the door and wills herself not to think about the men that used to come through it. Then she remembers that they are dead now. She smiles. Then she finds herself thinking about the people she stayed with recently. The one’s before that. This place is probably the same. Good people were few and far between before the world went to shit. Now...People are even worse. She sighs and closes her eyes imagining, as she sometimes does, a perfect world. A world where she has a nice house, loving husband and beautiful children, a world where she has everything. She is pulled from her thoughts by a loud clang. The cell door opens and she looks up to see Lance Hornsby walk in. He looks at her and shakes his head.).

Lance: You’ve been here what three days?

Mara: I never asked to be here. I was dragged off the street.

Lance: You were half dead. We saved your life.

Mara: Did I ask to be saved? I was fine on my own. Better that way. Ain’t no one to let you down.

Lance: But you told Mercer you were with a group.

Mara: Been with lots of groups. Always left.

Lance: Why’s that?

Mara: Coz people let you down.

Lance: Hm. This isn’t gonna work unless you want it to. You could have a life here. A normal life like before.

Mara: My life ain’t never been normal.

Lance: Has anyone’s? What’s normal right?

(She stares at him.).

Lance: You can’t go around taking things that aren’t yours.

Mara: Everyone takes.

Lance: That’s not how it works here. We have rules. Civilisation.

Mara: Uh huh.

Lance: You also can’t go around punching people.

Mara: Frowned upon is it?

Lance: Afraid so.

Mara: Hm. Give me the boot then like everyone else. I’ll go back to being on my own. Might as well.

Lance: It doesn’t need to be like that. I can make all this go away.

(She chuckles.).

Mara: Uh huh. So it’s like that.

(She gets up.).

Mara: Shut the door then.

Lance: What?

Mara: Don’t want an audience do you?

(He frowns. She moves close to him and grabs his belt unclipping it. His hands find her wrists and he grips them stopping her movements. She looks up at him.).

Mara: What’s wrong? Isn’t this what you wanted?

Lance: Sit down.

(She frowns. He lets go of her wrists and she backs away sitting back on the cot. He does his belt back up.).

Lance: All I want is the location of this group you were with.

Mara: Why you gonna send ‘em flowers?

Lance: Give me their location and you’re free to go.

Mara: You mean I wasn’t free to go before?

(She raises an eyebrow.).

Lance: You broke the law. That’s why you are in here. Give me the location of your group and this all goes away.

Mara: Hm. Not sure why you wanna find ‘em. Why do you think I left?

Lance: Or you can stay in here. It’s up to you.

Mara: Is it? Okay. I tell you what you get me out of here and get me somewhere nicer to live than that damp cesspit of a water closet they’ve shoved me in. Then I tell you where the fucks are hiding.

(She sits back leaning against the wall and folds her arms. He stares at her.).

Mara: So...How much do you want 'em?