#couple that with my current fixation on Transformers and here we are

[quibbs126]

I feel like you could make a Transformers medic character named Plasma

Like plasma is a thing sort of associated with electricity, but it’s also a thing in blood that people can donate. So like, I think it’d fit in as a name. Though maybe you need to add something to the name to make it sound cooler, I don’t know

I would try to use it myself, but I have no clue what to do with this other than the basic idea, so I’ll just leave it for anyone else to use if so inclined

[eclec-tech]

Art by Shyranno!

Young Tech's exuberance when learning about new things rubs some of the other cadets the wrong way. Luckily, his squad is there to show him that they appreciate what makes him special.

SFW, family fluff, 1500-ish words

This is my little contribution to Lost and Found: A Bad Batch Zine! This is the original version. It's a tad longer than the zine copy, with an extended intro and cameos from a couple other cadets. I hope you like it!

@thebadbatchzine@shyranno

The large window that allowed Kamino’s ever-present lightning into the barracks of Experimental Unit 99 was dotted with patches of excited breath. The boy responsible was currently as charged as the atmosphere.

“That one is new!”

Crosshair paused his current fidgeting session with the itchy cadet logo on his tunic and turned his attention toward his brother. “What is?”

Tech’s forehead remained glued to the window as he spoke. “That aiwha calf! It was not there yesterday. The alpha cow in the pod has finally had her baby! I wish I had seen it happen. They give birth right over the surface of the water, then the entire pod calls out to the calf to encourage it to leave the water and fly!”

“That’s great, Tech.” Hunter sent a small smirk to his other two brothers. For months they had listened to their inquisitive brother regurgitate every piece of information ever discovered about Kamino’s native cetaceans, nearly becoming experts themselves in the process.

Crosshair and Wrecker grinned back. This was not the first time Tech had become fixated on a subject and unleashed his exuberance upon them. However, this was the first time one of his interests was something found on their own planet. It had given his brothers an idea.

“Well, I’m on clean-up detail with 99 tonight. I’ll see you guys later.”

Tech rounded on his pewter-topped brother. “Again? What is going on with all of you? I seem to be the only one here who has not had to endure some form of punishment for doing something stupid recently.”

Crosshair smiled back wickedly. “Maybe we just know how to have fun and you don’t.”

Tech’s curious expression morphed into an annoyed scowl. “What was it this time?”

“Like you said. Something stupid.” He turned and waved over his shoulder. “Don’t wait up.”

----------

The next morning was the start of the worst day Tech had ever had.

As soon as breakfast was over and he and his brothers separated for their individualized lessons to hone their enhanced skills, Tech was cornered by a group of cadets who had overheard his mealtime ramblings. They did not share Tech’s enthusiasm for the giant animals outside and they let him know it in no uncertain terms. By the time the next group of cadets found their way into the corridor where the scuffle was occurring, the strap on the back of his goggles had been snapped in half.

“HEY!”

The deeper voice behind them instantly got the attention of Tech’s tormentors. Tech looked up in surprise as five older boys stalked up to where he had been pinned to the wall. Three of them stood between Tech and the other cadets while the other two moved to stand beside him. “The next time we see any of you near this kid, we’re going to hang you upside-down from one of the training tower cannons! Now get lost!�� The younger boys scattered, leaving Tech alone with the five young teens. “You okay?”

“I think so. Thank you for intervening.”

One of the boys picked up Tech’s goggles and turned them over in his hands curiously, then handed them back to Tech without a word and followed his brothers quickly to the class they were now late for. Tech looked down at the broken strap and sighed miserably. His only option for the remainder of the day was to tie the two halves together into a knot that made his goggles so tight that he got a headache within a few minutes of putting them back on.

It only got worse from there.

At the range his practice blaster jammed and overheated, burning his hands and causing him to place last in his group’s skills assessment. The pain from that failure negatively impacted his cognitive speed drills score as well. The sting of his instructor asking him how he could have lost so much intelligence over the course of a single rotation was a dig the boy would not soon forget.

When he joined his brothers in the mess hall that evening, his downturned face all but told his story for him. 

Hunter stood slowly as he approached. “What happened?”

“I-I don’t want to talk about it.”

Crosshair narrowed his eyes at the burn blisters on his brother’s palms. “You need to talk about that.”

Tech shrugged. “I lost a fight with a malfunctioning blaster.”

Wrecker stared at the knot on the far-too-tight goggles. “And those?” 

“Oh,” he pulled the frame from his face with a groan, revealing deep purple indentations. “I lost a fight with a group of cadets too.”

Hunter crossed his arms. “Why did they come after you this time?” Tech stared at the floor, struggling with how to explain. “Tech?”

With all three of his brothers looking at him, the tears he was holding back started to fall silently down his cheeks. “They heard me at first meal talking about the aiwhas. They said I was pathetic. They said they didn’t know why you all humor me the way you do.”

Hunter frowned. “That’s not true. We aren’t humoring you. We like hearing what you have to say.”

Crosshair stared hard at the forlorn expression on his brother’s face and a flash of resolve settled on his features. “Let’s do it tonight, Hunter. We're ready.”

Tech looked up and swiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. “What are you talking about?”

“We’ve got a surprise for you,” Wrecker enthused. “But eat first. We’ll show you later.”

Tech ate quickly. He was anxious to return to the barracks and get to the bottom of his brothers’ mysterious behavior. When they got there, he watched with wide eyes as Hunter put his ear to the wall, listening as the vibrations of their home spoke to him. “We’re in luck. There are two of them there.”

“Two what? Where?”

“Yeah!” Wrecker yelled with a clap of his hands. “Plan Seven is a go!”

Tech put on his spare set of goggles and gave his brother a quizzical look. “Plan Seven?”

“Plans one through six didn’t get us where we needed to be without being caught,” Hunter explained with a proud smile. “You’ll see.”

----------

The lights-out tone for all fifth- and sixth-year cadets sounded just as the four boys slunk silently into the empty corridor. Tech’s brothers still would not reveal their destination to him, and he hoped it was worth the trouble they would all be in if caught out of bed.

His fears multiplied when he heard hushed voices coming from the hallway ahead of them. 

“We should not be doing this, 5555. According to regulation—”

“Shhh. Nothing is more suspicious than you listing off which rules we’re breaking out loud! Just keep walking like everything is completely normal.”

Tech was surprised to see the five older boys from earlier as they rounded the corner. They recognized him as well, sending a collection of guilty grins and pleading glances to the group of younger cadets as they passed. They looked as nervous as Tech felt. It wasn’t until the other group was out of sight that Tech was able to let out a relieved sigh.

His brothers, on the other hand, were remarkably calm as they clambered into the ventilation grate Crosshair had noted on his datapad. Tech was amazed at the precision of this plan his brothers had come up with. Maps, codes, notes about Kaminoan movements—this plan of theirs, whatever it was, must have taken weeks.

After a few meters of crawling, three more corridors, one lift, and two near misses with wandering droids, the group surfaced from the last vent at their destination. Hunter, Crosshair, and Wrecker turned and watched as Tech emerged and took in his surroundings. The drop of his jaw when he realized where he was made them all smile. Tech momentarily forgot how to breathe as his eyes raked over the enormous aiwha landing bay, settling immediately on the two saddled aiwhas bobbing in the huge pool in front of him. 

Hunter’s hand rested softly on Tech’s shoulder. “We’ve been trying to get in here without being caught for a while now. We made plan after plan, but only just found out how to get through the corridors and ductwork yesterday.”

“Wait. This is the reason you’ve all been getting into such trouble? You’ve been sneaking around for me? Creating this ‘Plan Seven’ of yours?”

“Well, yeah. We know how much these big beasties mean to you, so we've been tryin’ to work out a way to get you in here so you could check ‘em out!”

Tears sprung from Tech’s eyes for the second time that evening as he walked up to the tank and began stroking the vast muzzle of the animal in front of him. He couldn’t believe they had gone to all this trouble just for him. “I don’t know what to say, you guys.” He dried his eyes on the sleeve of his tunic and sent them a watery smile. “Thank you.”

The others stepped up to get a better look at the giant creatures as well. Tech pulled his eyes away from the tank and instead stared at their amazed faces, thinking. His mind began to work rapidly through everything he knew about his three kind brothers, and a satisfied smile slowly spread across his face.

“I have an idea for Plan Eight.”

Or have you? Some people on AO3 only want to read fics with a certain number of kudos, so do me a favor—head over there via the link at the top of this post and hit the kudo button for this fic if you liked it. It only takes a moment.

[sorcererinthestars]

The Wolf Inside

In the hellstorm we are currently living, the RT Writers Discord called off their Secret Skeleton event. However, I was almost done with my piece and I thought, since it has nothing to do with The Offender, I would still share it. Maybe we need to be revitalized in our work, in our love of those who we still have.  Trigger Warning: Suicide Mention. This is sort of dark/angsty, but no major character death. It’s for spooky season, after all!

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26994361

Michael is a werewolf. Gavin begs to see that part of his life, and nearly pays the ultimate price. (Ragehappy/Mavin.)

--

As he presses himself farther into his closet and shoves his fist in his mouth to stop the gasping whimpers that are ripping themselves out of his chest, he knows this is the end. It’s curious, knowing when you were going to meet your death. He had hoped he would go out in bed, surrounded by family, but no.

He was going to meet his death hidden in a closet behind a load of clothes, a balled fist in his mouth to stifle the sobs and a bent metal coat hanger in his hand to use as a weapon.

The noises outside were muffled, but easily heard when he was straining to locate them. A scuffle, the sound of a chair moving and hot, labored breathing. A small whine and then — crash! — the sound of something glass shattering.

It was Gavin’s idea. He had pressed for this, he had said it was okay. He had honestly begged, wanting to know what happened when the transformation came. It was always a secret between them, a gap. It was something Michael never wanted to talk about, always kept hidden. Once a month, he would leave their home, disappear somewhere for a few days.

Gavin never knew if the other was safe. He could never know for certain if this would be the time that Michael would never return to him, would be gone forever and he would be left waiting alone at home, checking his phone for a call that would never come.

So he had begged. Take me with you, he pleaded. We can rent a cabin. I can stay inside, safe. You go do what you need to do, but at least I’ll be near if you need me.

Michael had protested and as Gavin shrinks farther back against the wood of the closet, trying to hide himself and his scent under moldering blankets, he finally fucking understands the reason for that protest. Michael was dangerous. He guesses he must have not fully comprehended that, not really. Yes, Michael was a dangerous creature who transformed once a month, but he was also his fiancé. Almost his goddamn husband. And the fact that Michael tried to keep a part of himself so integral to his being away from him made Gavin upset.

As the sounds came up the stairs and the snuffling grew louder, along with the panting and the growls and sound of sharp claws ripping its way through the wood, Gavin knew he should learn to leave some things the fuck alone. If he had time after tonight to worry about anything.

Michael had got bit as a child, he had admitted to Gavin over a year into dating. He had been playing in the woods under the light of the full moon and he had gone to the wrong place at the wrong time. Thankfully, he had managed to get away. Most people who got bit didn’t have to worry about the transformation. They were eaten first.

Gavin couldn’t help but think of the scenes Michael had described to him. Of bodies ripped to shreds, of nothing left of people but pieces of their clothes. The thing that Michael became was not him. He had pleaded with Gavin to understand that. He had little to no control over the beast. It overwhelmed him, terrorized him, and when he came back, he had a full belly, a raging headache, and only sensations and fear where there should be memories.

But Gavin had insisted he wanted to be with Michael during this months’ transformation. He had done the stupid puppy dog eyes that Michael pretends to hate, pouting lower lip and all, and had threatened to follow him if he went alone. So Michael had taken him. They’d rented a cabin deep out in the woods, far away from any civilization. It had been almost an hour drive on empty dirt roads to get out here to this hunters’ cabin.

The man who had rented it to them had scoffed. Warned them of what lurked out there this time of the month. A creature, he had said. Something bigger than anything ought to be. Something that disappeared, something they couldn’t catch.

Michael had just shifted awkwardly. As they sat side by side in their Jeep, he had turned to Gavin and turned a bit red, as if he was trying to fight back his anger. Again, he had tried to get Gavin to go. He had pressed his credit card into Gavin’s hand, asked him to get a hotel room back in the city. He would pay and he would join Gavin there as soon as he could. It was dangerous, he had insisted, among other choice words.

Gavin always knew his stubbornness and blind loyalty was likely going to get him hurt or killed, but didn’t realize how literal that was going to be. Now, as he stared at the ceiling of the closet in order to try not to cry, he kind of wanted to throw himself off the roof to stop the guilt. If something did happen and Michael came back and realized…

It was funny, how the mind fixated on the lesser of two problems in a bad situation. Here he was, about to die at the hands of a creature from a fucking fairy tale or a bad dream, and he was worried about how Michael was going to take it.

The first night at the cabin had been fine. Michael seemed tense, but they had set up safeguards around the front and back of the home. They made dinner, just pasta over a hot plate, and watched the stars. The moon was almost but not completely full. Gavin had learned that Michael knew a great deal about the night sky. Maybe he even fell a bit more in love. There wasn’t any electricity for video games. Turned out they didn’t need any.

There were times when they were sitting and chatting that Michael would go quiet and stiff. A breeze would come by and distract him, or he would shift and grunt like he was uncomfortable. It was the beginning of the shift, Gavin theorized, but Michael wouldn’t talk about it and Gavin knew better than to press him. He was lucky to even be allowed to be here, to share this with him. He wouldn’t ruin it by getting in the way.

He would share more than the experience with Michael now. The creature — the thing — was nearing the second floor now. The bedroom wasn’t even a bedroom, really. More like a walled-off loft. And he was sitting in the back, trapped. Like a rat in a cage. Ready for the cat.

When the howl came, Gavin almost wets himself, cowering even farther back. It sounded close, but it also sounded anguished. Like he could hear the pain of the creature, the rage and frustration by being able to smell its prey, but not chase it.

Michael had been nearly certain that when transformed, he would leave the cabin and get distracted by deer and bear and whatever the hell else was out here at night. But he couldn’t be certain, so as the day started turning dusky, he had taken the truck out into the woods. No argument could be made here. Michael was adamant that this was as far as Gavin would go. And as much as Gavin wanted to see the beast with his own two eyes, he had agreed to keep the peace.

They hadn’t counted on the senses of the Creature to be able to smell Gavin’s scent from miles away. Michael had only been gone a couple hours before Gavin started hearing the sounds of something heavy in the woods. The moonlight was like liquid silver as it washed across the clearing. Something was out there.

Gavin had at first wanted to see it. Maybe Michael had changed his mind, maybe he had come back to share this part of himself entirely with Gavin. But as the Wolf, in all its glory, smashed out of the clearing, Gavin’s bowels nearly failed as he stared down at the animal.

Michael’s werewolf form was eight feet long and at least five feet tall. It was thick and furry, with sharp teeth and yellow eyes. When it snarled, all razor rows of teeth were shown. This thing was a predator, plain and simple. There was nothing of Michael left.

Now, sitting in the closet and waiting to be torn to shreds by the man he loved, Gavin considers his options. They were slim to none. He could try to stab the eye of the beast when it broke in, but that would potentially hurt Michael as well. Maybe even blind him. Could he live with that? It would certainly be better than the alternative — death — but what if it didn’t even stop the Wolf?

He could try to run, but the idea of that thing chasing him when it was faster, could see better, and was stronger than him was less than appealing. He shivers from fear and shrinks down even deeper into a ball.

Why the fuck had he decided to go? Why had Michael let him?

Because, a stupid voice in his head had whispered, becuase he wanted to be loved and accepted for all of him as much as you wanted to know all of him. You’re both idiots.

Love made you do stupid things, but this had to be among the stupidest.

But he didn’t have time to think anymore as the door to the room was shoved inwards with a harsh slam that shook the house. The Wolf roars and Gavin bites through the skin of his finger to keep himself from crying out, blood hot and iron and red against his lips.

That was his last mistake. Like an arrow loosed from the bow, the Wolf whips around and hyperfocuses on the hot scent of fresh blood in the closet. And without another moment of hesitation, the door rips open and there the Wolf is.

Gavin forgets to breathe. For a moment they sit there, staring, the giant Wolf’s breast heaving with every garbled breath, saliva dripping out of his mouth. And Gavin, small, human, and breakable, staring back with wide eyes.

Then Michael roars, a loud agonizing sound that reveals rows and rows of sharp teeth, and Gavin knows this was where he dies.

A paw whips out faster than can be seen and clobbers Gavin in the shoulder. His arm supernovas into pain before immediately going numb, causing him to shriek and fly forward into the room and out of his shelter. Claws rake across the skin of his back in the process, blood immediately wetting his t-shirt. If anything, it was like a shark, enraging the beast further, who snarls and paces as it surrounds him.

Panic driving him to lengths he never would have considered, Gavin tries to stab with the coat hanger and all he manages to do is glance the flimsy piece of metal off of Michael’s iron hide. This refocuses the beast, which Gavin notices seems to be… pacing?

It stalks around him, snarling and spitting, but … not attacking. Like some invisible forcefield was keeping the beast away. Gavin risks trying to move.

Bad idea. The Wolf lunges, capturing Gavin’s ankle in his jaws. He yanks and Gavin slams unceremoniously down on the ground, dragged a few feet away from the closet until he’s exposed in the middle of the room. Blood drips from the teeth marks in his legs, but Gavin almost doesn’t notice as the Wolf hovers over him and teeth, saliva, and bright yellow eyes become all he can see.

His breath is ragged. What do you do when you see your death? Gavin’s lower lip starts quivering and he tries to bite it as tears well in his eyes. “M-Michael,” he gasps. “P-please don’t.”

And the Wolf… doesn’t.

A beat of silence between them, the heaving hulking form pinning Gavin to the ground, blood pooling under the man from the cuts and scratches along his back, one arm limp and obviously dislocated. He could rip his throat out, but he… doesn’t.

Michael.

Michael is inside the Wolf. With a gasp, Gavin realizes. Somewhere inside this beast is his boyfriend, his fiancé, and despite claiming he had no control, something is stopping the beast from killing him. Gavin can almost laugh with relief, but — the Wolf isn’t moving. And sooner or later, Michael is going to lose to the Will of the Beast.

“Michael,” Gavin whispers. “Michael, if you’re in there, please. It’s me. It’s Gavin, your boyfriend. I love you, please….”

The Wolf actually whines. It’s a terrifying sound, but its the sound of confusion and not rage. Progress. He just needed to keep talking. “Michael, baby, please. You’re in control. Just… get it to go. Turn around and go catch deer. P-please, god, no…” The Wolf lowers his head and takes a big sniff of Gavin’s face, the teeth agonizingly close, the saliva smearing across his cheek. Gavin doesn’t dare to move, as if the slightest extra sound or movement would break this spell that they are weaving together over this rabid animal.

Then, every millisecond drawn out to the longest amount of time possible, the Wolf rears back and steps off of Gavin. It looks at him and roars again furiously, shaking the house, and Gavin screws his eyes shut. He fucked up, this is it…

But then he hears the sound of claws on wood and the large form of a Wolf shoving its way through the cabin and then blissful, complete silence.

Laying on the floor, bleeding and in pain, Gavin finally allows himself to weep. Not in fear, but in relief. In love — Michael knew him. Michael wouldn’t allow that demon to kill him, no matter how little control he claimed to have. Tomorrow they would talk, tomorrow they would atone for their many many sins that came about that night, but tonight…

Tonight he would lay here and cry until the sun warms the trees and his fiancé comes back to him.

Some things are better left a mystery, after all.

[justimajin]

It’s a Reverse Basket ◍ Part 13

⇝ Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

⇝ Genre: Fluff, Comedy, Angst

↳ Basketball AU, Crossdressing AU

⇝ Words: 3.4k

⇝ Summary: Basketball is your everything; your passion for it running deep and wanting nothing more then to play the sport. Problem is, the sport isn’t offered competitively to girls and with that, all your hopes immediately fizzle away… …but who ever said that was going to stop you?

⇝ Warnings: pg13; I was smiling like crazy while posting this so there’s your biggest warning

gif credit.

⇝ Previous Parts: Moodboard Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

⇝ Next Update: Tuesday, June 9 

The park is insanely crowded.

Parents, children, couples, the elderly; all of them populate and flood the area. Some choosing to sit on the benches with frozen dessert filled cones underneath the humid sun, while others are occupied in either flying kites or conversing with one another, too lost in thought to notice the grand tree that sits in the middle of the recreational area.

Thankfully, it’s length provides more than enough shade from the blazing heat outside, a deep exhale of relief passing by the seams of your lips. The dancing wind in the air whistles by you, weaving through the locks that fall down from your shoulders and drape all the way to your waist. You unconsciously straighten your posture, the high elevation of your shoes barely stabilizing your body’s weight and leaving your feet to be stuck in between the cracks of the concrete. A hand remains firm on the dangling bag hanging off your shoulder, resting right on top of the brightly coloured skirt that hugs your thighs.

Glancing up, your wide eyes roam around until someone walks past you, flinching and hiding your face beneath the confines of your giant floppy hat. Another sigh manages to leave you, arms tightly hugging your form when the reminiscence memories of your current situation begin to surface.

***

It starts off with a mere question. 

Yoongi stands before you after practice, a smile drawn out on your lips despite the heaving exhaustion reigning high on your limbs and the excess of water clinging to your skin. He doesn’t make eye contact with you, rather he opts out for keeping his gaze fixated on the ground as a hand comes up to rub the back of his neck. 

“Do you–…..” A sigh escapes him, shoulders shrugging down. You almost want to ask if there’s something wrong, words soon becoming forgotten when Yoongi suddenly turns and holds seriousness in his stance. 

“Do you want to go somewhere?”

“Oh, now?” You place your basketball into the cart, dusting off your shorts and jersey before glancing at him curiously. Yoongi deeply sighs, lightly shaking his head.

“I meant alone.”

“Alone���?” You ponder, observing around to see that everyone had been long gone since your practice had come to an end. Even Jungkook and Taehyung didn’t manage to stay behind, too famished from the tiring session to wait any longer.

Yoongi sighs again, your eyes darting everywhere when you can’t seem to string together his collection of thoughts. He also appears incredibly annoyed, something that causes you to ramble with a series of your own inquiries instead.

“Did you need to tell me something? We can talk here, we’re alone and–“ 

“I-I mean…” Yoongi exhales, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Outside of this court, alone, going out somewhere together.”

You naively blink at him, appearing even more confused than before and Yoongi sighs for what feels like the fiftieth time, hands raising to completely cover his face. It’s only until you see the light hue of pink spreading across him that a bulb finally begins to regain some light, eyes are big as a deer’s and words sputtering out jumbled. 

“O-Oh…” You lightly laugh, unsure of what to do in the circumstance. When Yoongi glances at you with hopeful eyes, it dawns on you just how much he’s been wanting to ask you this.

“Sure.” You softly smile, “We can go somewhere together.”

His shoulder slump down from the giant exhale of relief that escapes him, a blinding smile on his features that you have to admit has your heart fluttering a bit. “Great, meet me at the park near the school tomorrow.”

You nod, following him outside of the gym. As soon as you wave him off, you whirl around to head back to your dorm, the brightening smile on your lips being far too evident when the giddiness rushes over you. You’re practically gleaming with joy until you head outside.

The sound of immediate water bulleting onto the ground makes you frown, the ill prospect of having to walk through it occuring in your mind. However, not even the weather manages to dampen your mood when you splash around the puddles forming in between gaps of the cement, a dazed look still in your eyes.

When you plop into a certain puddle that has a large amount of water bursting over your shoes, you giggle until the water settles back into its original place, eyes falling onto the way it whirls and pools around to transform a blurry reflection of you into a clearer one. Your smile drops, feet slowly padding forward to get a better look.

Your soaked hair barely falls down onto your cheeks, beads of water sticking to skin that hasn’t been taken care of in exchange for rigorous practices. The jersey you wear is completely oversized, glancing down to see the baggy shorts it meets and the beaten-up shoes that have been roughly laced up.

Tired eyes stare at the puddle again, traces of doubt emerge upon your face. You start to slowly back away, immediately rushing back to your dorm as fast as you can.

***

“Helloo~” A voice calls out into the abyss of the dorm, eyes falling onto you slumped on the couch. Her brows furrow, brown locks wrapped up in a bun and a large bag secured in her hands. “Y/N?”

You glance up, not even noticing her arrival until she had called you from the doorframe. Scurrying from the couch, you immediately apologize.

“It’s great to see you again.” You move to hug her and Hyerin laughs.

“Of course I’m back.” There’s a snicker in her voice when she parts from you, “My best friend’s going on a date after all!”

You lightly chuckle at that and she glances around, hugging the bag closer to her form.

“Is  anyone here….?”

You shake your head, “Jungkook and Taehyung are out.”

“Great!” She hurriedly unzips her bag, emptying out the contents within an instant. You look over with wide eyes to see an array of clothes, cosmetics and accessories.

Hyerin smirks, “I had to come prepared.” Whirling around, she hands you a mountain of clothes, “Quick, try these on!”

Nodding, you head into your room and set the flourishing pile down onto your bed. Moving to close the door, you pause as you catch sight of the mirror hanging on your wall, eyes latching onto the reflection. 

Hyerin dips into your room, head poking in. “Y/N! Come on, why aren’t you trying them on?”

You smile at her warily and she frowns, shuffling closer to you, “Is everything okay?”  

“I don’t know…” You honestly admit, “I kind of wonder if Yoongi’s even attracted to me….”

“Attracted to you?” Hyerin stands in front of the mirror, “What do you mean?”

You nod over to your reflection, “This is what he sees all the time, this hair, this jersey.”

You gesture to yourself and concern takes hold of Hyerin’s eyes. Although you’re glad she’s here to help you, you can’t help but wonder. Admittedly playing a sport all the time doesn’t help either, being in a constant state of sweaty exhaustion that doesn’t leave much to the beholder’s eye. 

“Y/N…” Hyerin whispers, “Listen, he definitely likes you. I mean, we’re talking about a guy here who’s seen you wearing a god-awful fake wig and then practicing basketball every single day with him.” You softly smile at that, “Maybe we shouldn’t do this if you’re not comfortable with it….”

“No!” You hurriedly say, shaking your head. Although you had initially asked Hyerin to help you look like yourself for this, a part of you just misses the natural appearance as well. It had been something you’ve wanted to show Yoongi too, growing tired of constantly concealing your identity around him and living in the fear of someone finding out. “I-I want to do this…you’re right.”

She spins around with a smile, glancing down at the clothes she’s picked out for you. “And besides, he’s already kissed you so I’m definitely assuming there’s some attraction there.”

Her comment leaves you entirely flustered, skin brightly flushing and her laugh ringing through when she knows the remark has gotten to you. After breaking you out of your embarrassed state, Hyerin gives you some time to try out the clothes she’s brought and you faintly smile viewing the clothes you used to once upon a time constantly wear.  

 You end up picking out a white sweater and a light blue skirt from the abundant pile, something you would have casually worn on a normal day. After some endless persuasion from Hyerin, you’ve given a flashing silver purse and matching heels as a result, trying the ensemble on and spinning around to show her. 

“I feel like we’re missing something….” You remark. Hyerin knowing smirks, grabbing a long mop of locks from her bag and combing them out.

“And I think I know exactly what it is.”

You laugh as she places it on your head, her eager eyes being grateful to have some form of your long hair back, even if it wasn’t permanent. When you stand up to glance at the mirror again, your lips stretch out wide when you’re staring at the you from so long ago, the one that didn’t know where her future would have eventually taken her.

Once Hyerin places a hat on your head to conceal your face, you wave her a goodbye as you prepare to leave and she wishes you good luck, remarking that if Yoongi doesn’t pass out at the sight of you she’ll make sure he will.

***

You spare a glance at your watch again, quickly scanning the area without leaving the shade. Pursuing your lips, it’s only until you recognize the faint jogging from a distance that hopes fills you.

Yoongi plants his hands on his knees, heaving for a second as you wait with a soft smile. When he stands up, you can see the slight flush in his cheeks, exhaustion weighing heavy on his eyes. He’s dressed in a plain white shirt and ripped jeans, a blue beanie sitting on top of his head and his red locks poking out underneath.

You watch his expression contort from relief into astonishment, eyes wide as he takes a step back.

“Y-Y/N?”

You’re puzzled by his reaction, the realization of your appearance suddenly dawning on you and a light laugh escaping your lips. 

“I figured since we’re not at school…”

“Right, right.” Yoongi shakes his head far too many times, standing next to you with his hands stuffed in his pockets. When abruptly he starts walking, you slowly shuffle behind, careful not to trip over the stones in the gravel.

Yoongi pauses as you catch up to him, a silent stare in his eyes when he lifts his hand out of his pocket. You look up in surprise when he laces his fingers with yours, breaking all eye contact with you.

“J-Just so you don’t get lost.” He mumbles under his breath, steadying his pace more to meet up with your own. You can’t stop the soft smile that curls up on your lips at that, remaining glued to his side.

“Where are we going?” You question, a little confused since he never mentioned the exact place he wanted to take you.

Yoongi doesn’t say anything, simply pointing in the direction ahead and your eyes narrow where a large field is located. It’s swarmed with people, many walking alongside you towards it in groups and the realization only strikes you once you enter through the large metal doors, roars and screams echoing into your ears.

Your eyes are enlarged, almost transfixed with the giant stadium and the large scale. You begin to tremble a bit as well, so overwhelmed that you accidentally bump into someone, Yoongi being quick to catch you before you stumble.

“T-Thanks.” You sheepishly whisper, still stuck with awe as Yoongi chuckles. His grip on your hand becomes firm, practically racing to get you a quick seat on the bleachers.

As you plop down on a spot that is emerged within the large crowd, Yoongi can only stare at you with a smile when your eyes fluctuate, taking in every single detail like it was the last time you were ever going to see any of it.

He leans in closer to your ear, “Like it?”

“Like it?” The words seem too less to describe what you’re feeling right now, “I-I love it….I didn’t know there was going to be a game here, I’ve always wanted–“

He’s grinning when you face him, a laugh stifling out from you, “I’ve always wanted to come here, thank you.”   

Yoongi nods, already understanding the excitement. He was initially nervous when the idea first struck him, caught up in debating if you would like it or if he was making a horrible mistake.

However there was no questioning that spark he’s noticed in your eyes when you talk about basketball, a glimmer of hope for him that more than anything else, this something you would end up truly loving.

The lights flash and your eyes widen, Yoongi moving to point over to the players entering in. The crowd begins to shriek, the lights following each member as they take the center stage.

Anticipation practically bubbles in you, head darting back and forth with impatient eyes to see the referee strutting into the middle. Once the whistle is blown, the players instantly begin to sprint, racing after the bright orange ball that becomes difficult to trace with every impending minute. One of them, the one currently grasping onto the basketball, dribbles it rapidly in between his feet before sending it over to one of his other members, the action being so quick that your eyes can barely keep up.

“A crossover dribble.” Yoongi whispers, your eyes lighting up when he shuffles closer. You don’t even realize the proximity, too keen on understanding, “If he waited a minute longer, he could have tripped and the game wouldn’t have been counted.”

You hum, watching another member do it but much quicker, picking up on the fact that speed was crucial in order to do such a pass. The member then spins rapidly, launching the ball behind him as a way to confuse the defense of the opposite team.

“He caught his attention first but then threw the ball away, his team needed to be prepared to do something like that.” Yoongi points over to the member that was standing behind the first one, ready to receive the basketball when the ball suddenly is launched from behind. You hum again, the initial anticipation of the game wearing out when you become more interested in picking up how the team before you was able to stay so on top of their game, swiftly gaining a point.

Yoongi thankfully continues to explain any difficult passes and techniques, your questions also considering the fact that your team hasn’t learned most of it. He then explains that certain techniques required too much training, so he and Namjoon instead focus more on strengthening the basic skills first before jumping towards levels where the entire team can struggle. It’s admirable to hear, comprehending that organizing such a giant team made up of your members with different strengths, can prove to be a lot difficult when the entire team needs to be on the same ground instead of varying ones.

A soft smile curls on your features when your attention is captured by one of the members, his intense speed and stroke of observation enabling him to soar over to the opposite end of the goal, swiftly ducking through all the members after him. When he passes the ball to another member and they score, he grins and runs over to them to give a high five, a giggle being earned from you.

“What is it?” Yoongi curiously questions, your hand pointing over to him.

“That guy, he kind of reminds me of Taehyung.”

Yoongi chuckles, pointing to another one, “There’s a Jungkook too.”

Surely the person Yoongi points to is the one that’s constantly latched onto the basketball, intent on scoring as fast as possible but being continuously halted by the other team who recognize him as a target. His appearance is similar as well, something that only has you further agreeing with him too.

“But we don’t have any of the other members….” You sadly whisper, but Yoongi smirks.

“I think I found a Y/N though.”

You raise an eyebrow when he points over to the shortest member, one you’ve noticed appears to have the most energy and determination as he quickly dusts himself off and rushes to assist other members of his team. Although his mannerisms and vibe are very similar to you, his arms and legs ripple with huge muscles and his face is completely covered with a beard. 

You make a face at that, which doesn’t allow Yoongi to hold back his stifling laughter. He goes on and on, making you pout at the implication.

“Yoongi….” You exasperatedly whine. 

“I was just teasing.” He reassures, but then he starts making comments about how familiar the man looks, pondering if he was really a girl disguised as a guy.

“Yoongi!” You whisper louder this time and he keeps snickering, failing to keep the smile that crosses you under bay as well. You laugh alongside him when he debates if you should ask for an autograph and how the story could be inspiring, eventually stopping his ramble when you lean your head against his shoulder, a comfortable silence overtaking you as you both continue watching the rest of the game.  

***

Night falls by the time the game ends, a large volume of people rising from their seats instantly and having you stick closer to Yoongi, afraid you’ll get mixed up within the chaotic crowd. Although he still keeps a firm grasp on your hand, your heels manage to get caught up on some grass and you get pushed back. Yoongi whirls around, attempting to catch a glimpse of you through the sea of people and your waving hand from afar greets him. He grits trying to make his way across, grabbing onto you and hastily yanking so you don’t get lost again. Unfortunately, he ends up tugging a little too hard, resulting in you stumbling and falling right against him. Your arms enclose around his torso and your head rests on top of his chest, but he doesn’t seem to mind the position as you slowly make you out.

Once all the people disperse, you eventually have to clear your throat to make Yoongi realize he’s literally hugging you, his arms hurriedly breaking away with a quiet apology.

He walks you back to your dorm, the slight breeze in the air making you shiver and wanting to get into the warmth of the building right away. Turning around, you’re about to thank Yoongi for taking you to watch the game but he beats you to it.

“Y/N I–…” His mouth clamps shut when he gazes at you, lips downturned.

Crossing your arms, you pad closer to him in concern. “Yoongi, what is it?” 

“Maybe you’d like to go out like this some other time? You know, like a…?” He gestures in between you two, nose scrunched as if the words themselves weren’t reaching his voice just yet. 

You can’t help the question that bubbles out, practically blurting it out.

“L-Like a couple…?”

Yoongi still can’t seem to retort anything to that, so you immediately take the opportunity up and give an answer.

“Sure, I uh,” You smile, “I’d really like that.”

You miss the way his eyes light up, features softening already from the prospect as you grace him with a tender smile. After bidding him goodbye, you calmly head back into the building and smoothly enter the elevator. Once your floor arrives, you quietly pad into the room knowing that your roommates are probably asleep by now, however the moment you enter your room, you’re forced to instantly cover the spreading blush overtaking your features, the huge smile on your lips already straining against your cheeks.

[fang-wolfsbane]

Transformers Animated: Morning After: Chapter 02: Recruitment, Sir?

“Congratulations young cadet. You’ve made it as an official medic for the Autobot alliance. Only a few have ever made it to your position, so be proud of yourself and work hard.”

Those had been the words from Highdrive’s commanding officer the moment he stepped out of the Autobot Academy for Medics – A.A.M. for short. The moment he graduated, Highdrive had been certain that he was going to land a position within the Elite Guard, training amongst the best of the best to serve his home planet, Cybertron.

As third in his class, he had nothing but a promising future ahead of him, until an incident within the academy dorms had cost him a far grater demotion than he had thought necessary. He had been clearing out his dorm room for the next occupant when some of his fellow students had suggested that they play one last prank on their teacher as a farewell gift. Highdrive had been reluctant at first, but not wanting to be the odd one out, he’d gone with them. The idea had been to liquify the classroom hallway from one end to the other. A harmless prank, right? He had never been so wrong.

Not only had they used energon – the very life fuel they all needed to survive – but the teacher had indeed slipped on the wet floor, tumbled out of a carelessly left open window, broke not only their entire right leg apart, but had hit their helm hard enough to cause a crack within their CPU. A security guard had heard the commotion, and before Highdrive could even think of turning to ask his so-called fellow classmates what they would do about the situation, he was the only one left behind in the entire building.

It took some heavy convincing from one of his other teachers to get him a lighter punishment than he knew he deserved, but at this point he supposed it was the best he could hope to. When he was told he was to be the assistant medic on a space bridge repair ship, he tried to convince himself that it was a learning experience. He would have preferred the stockade.

With a personal escort, probably to ensure that he didn’t try and make a break for it, Highdrive had walked into the hanger where the repair ship was waiting. It was big, there was no denying that, and old… very old. How the bots in control of the ship expected it to be able to fly was a question all on its own.

Transforming alongside his escort, Highdrive was handed off to the commanding medic he’d be serving under. An old rust bucket whose white and red paint job certainly looked like it had seen far better stellar cycles. Highdrive visibly flinched to himself, not wanting to think of what his mother would have said if she’d heard him think so ill of a bot he was supposed to learn from. It was only because of his status as a medical student that he’d been kept from getting a permanent smack on his name.

Walking up to the bot, Highdrive tried to hide a visible flinch as he held his servo out towards the older mech. In reality, their colours weren’t that different. Highdrive himself sported orange in place of the other mech’s red. In all the stellarcycles he’d spent at the academy, he’s noticed a similar scheme to all of them. He supposed that when it came to saving lives, something bright coming to the rescue was a sign of reassurance to the one awaiting assistance.

Right, that was what he had been supposed to do when he joined the academy. Save lives, not ruin them…

“Uh, it’s nice to meet you sir. My name is-”

“This the kid?” the mech before him grunted, ignoring the outstretched servo, focusing his attention solely on the bot beside him. Highdrive blinked, reigning in the urge to curl his servo into a fist as he lowered his arm back to his side. There was no doubt that the mech had heard all about Highdrive’s reason for joining – if you could call it that.

His escort nodded, and with a muttered ‘good luck’ in the old bot’s direction, turned on his ped and casually strode off, only seeming to glad that Highdrive wasn’t his problem to deal with anymore. Unlike his fist, his distain at the thought couldn’t be hidden from displaying itself on his faceplate.

“Better learn to grind your dentals here kid, or you aren’t going to last long,” were the mech’s first words to him as he turned and went back over to what Highdrive assumed to be an exterior control panel. Assumed being the key word. He could name each and every single component of a bot – even a Decepticon’s because of the few specimens from the war they’d been allowed to study – and give a list of their functions and possible malfunctions, but to take care of a ship? Surely the medic didn’t expect him to learn to do that too, did he?

Shaking his thoughts free from his CPU, Highdrive found himself jogging after the mech. “Y-Yes sir!”

“Sir, huh?” the other bot mused, stopping momentarily as a pair of pinchers revealed themselves from his forearm. It took all Highdrive’s self-control not to ask how long the other had his medical upgrade. Highdrive had been scheduled to receive his within the next week, or he would have, if the whole ordeal with his teacher hadn’t happened. Goodbye upgrade. “Haven’t heard that in a long time.”

“Is… is it a problem, sir?” Highdrive asked, shifting on his peds a little unsurely. “I could-”

“No. No… it’s fine. It shows you at least have some form of respect left in you,” the mech said, getting to work on the panel. Highdrive knew he failed at keeping the smile off his lips, taking the other’s words as a compliment, whether they were meant to come across that way or not.

“My name is Highdrive, sir. I’ll be looking forward to learning from you.”

“Ratchet,” the old bot introduced himself, frowning as he concentrated on his current task.

“That’s a pretty cool name,” Highdrive said, his smile growing until Ratchet’s blue optics focused on him, a clear, silent warning within them. He found himself taking a step back, yelping when he lost his footing and fell back onto his aft over an open toolbox carelessly left on the floor. As careless as freshly spilled energon in a dark hallway.

“Hey, watch it!” Ratchet scolded. Highdrive flinched, assuming the glare to be fixated on him until the floor began trembling as another bot, nearly three or four times his own size came bouncing over like a spry scraplet.

“Sorry Ratchet,” the bot said, one of his peds narrowly avoiding stepping on Highdrive’s digits. Yanking them away just in time almost had his spark stop. Breathing through his vents, Highdrive tilted his helm back far enough to study the army-green mech. From his build, he had probably enlisted in the military, though his supposed clumsiness left much to thought.

“Saying sorry won’t fix this ship if you break another welding wrench – again,” Ratchet hissed through gritted dentals. The bigger bot lowered his helm in shame before his own traditional Autobot blue optics whirred as they zoomed in on Highdrive’s faceplate.

“Oh, hey there! You must be the new bot,” the bulky bot said, now fully focused on, well, ‘the new bot’ as he put it. “Here, let me help you up,” and before Highdrive could even think to protest, he was yanked onto his peds by a lightly throbbing arm. He made a mental note to check his arm over for any possible dents later. “Sorry if I scared ya. I’m Bulkhead.”

“H-Highdrive,” Highdrive said, managing a nervous smile as his servo subconsciously rubbed over the previously grabbed area. Yup, there were definitely a couple of dents he’d need to buff out when he got the chance. “And no worries.”

That seemed to be enough to satisfy Bulkhead, if his smiling jawline was anything to go by. A nano sec later, he was blinking, all giddy again like a sparkling overdosed on sweetened energon. “Oh, you haven’t met Bee yet! Come on, I’ll introduce you!”

Before Highdrive could blink, he was swept up by the large Autobot and taken inside the old ship like some guest of honour. The tight squeeze holding him in place against Bulkhead’s frame was enough to warn him not to get on the other’s bad side.

“Hey Bumblebee! The new bot’s here!” Bulkhead excitedly announced as he took them into what seemed like the command room. In the commander’s chair was a slim, yellow, and grey mech, taking a stasis nap. He couldn’t be the commander, could he? Not wanting to risk upsetting his new superior on his first day, Highdrive took the plunge.

“Uh, it’s g-good to meet you, sir,” Highdrive managed to wheeze out.

“Sir?’ both Bulkhead and the smaller bot – Bumblebee – repeated, blinking at him in surprise as if he had just told them he himself was their commanding officer. Highdrive flinched, instantly regretting his assumption.

“Are you not the commander?”

“Pft, no,” Bumblebee sneered, casually flipping his peds up on the dashboard. All too comfortable with occupying the commanding seat, despite his lack in both title and possibly qualifications.

“Then why are you…?” Highdrive trailed off after noticing the way Bumblebee’s optics seemed to darken. A sore spot. A wound better left untouched. “Noted…”

“So, what frag-up got you here?” Bumblebee asked, getting to his peds, and resting his servos on his hip plating once Bulkhead deemed it safe to release his hold on Highdrive.

“I’d… rather not talk about it, if you don’t mind,” Highdrive admitted, pretending to find an interest in dust that decided the corner was a good place spot to begin its invasion.

Bumblebee casually shrugged his shoulders, pulling over a mop and bucket from who knows where, and shoved them right into Highdrive’s servos. “You’re on clean up duty. Doc bot says we gotta get this old dump clean before the new Prime gets here.”

Highdrive blinked. “Prime?”

“Uh, yeah,” Bumblebee frowned, arching an optic ridge in question, “do you not know what a Prime is?”

“Of course I know what a Prime is,” Highdrive found himself hissing back, earning a surprised blink from the shorter mech. All Cybertronians knew what Primes were. He’d have had to online on some far away organic planet to not know about something so simple about their planet’s culture. Slag, even the Decepticons knew what a Prime was, even if they themselves haven’t been around for eons after the war ended with the Autobots coming out on top. Breathing air out through his vents, Highdrive straightened himself out. “Why is a Prime coming here though? Is there some inspection or something?”

“Nope. Doc bot said he got demoted or something. That he’s lucky to still keep his title after whatever he did,” Bumblebee hummed, casting a glance up at Bulkhead, “though I guess we all are.”

Highdrive didn’t dare ask as he looked to the two objects in his servos. He had no idea Bumblebee could be so right.

[raptorix]

Shipping thoughts

Just writing things out, trying to get them out of my head.

SPOILERS FOR CRITICAL ROLE CAMPAIGN 2 FINALE

Okay I may not have finished the last 3 hours of the stream yet, but I dug around in the tags enough to get the best of the spoilers to figure out what was left.

Shipping-wise: I'm elated. Everyone interested got to be with their partners!

I am fully comfortable and happy with where ships stand at the end of 141, too. I wasn't expecting any 'mARRIED WITH CHILDREN' epilogues, because the Mighty Nein haven't known each other as long as Vox Machina did by the end. Timeline-wise, their adventures as the Mighty Nein on the stream took just under a year. And most of the relationships crystalized in the last couple months of their adventures, at most.

Vox Machina had about least a solid year's worth of adventures prior to the stream in the 'home game' days. And then after 2/3s of the campaign passing, they had a year break to spend on relationships for those involved.

But you know what this means? Room for further development in One-shots! Vox Machina got 'Search for Grog' which needed to be furthered in 'Search for Bob', which at the very end gave us the De Rolo Destination Wedding that capped off the Vox Machina adventures.

Who knows what the Mighty Nein get? I predict we'll get an Uk'otoa One-Shot, especially if Fjord wants to finally not have to watch his back for his former patron's forces coming to punish him every time he sets sail. And who knows what we'll get from there?

And also, the wonderful thing about fandom? Transformative fiction.

Have fun daydreaming about fictional people doing things that may or may not possibly happen in the empty spaces between scenes or after the show.

Like here, might as well play in the space right now:

Fjorester kids: I imagine 3, and because of of how DnD lineages work, we can get a weird combo of results. What if they have a green tiefling, a blue/grey half-orc, and possibly a water genasi kid? (That Genasi lineage skips generations!)

Or maybe not? What if Fjord visits Port Demali, where he grew up, and finds some closure with his crappy childhood by getting the caretaker of the orphanage replaced, and possibly fostering the current teenagers at the orphanage as crew for the Nein Heroez? Being a proper father figure like Vandren was, but being a better father too.

What if BeauYasha and Shadowgast pairs had kids later, too? How? With Magic, that's how! Caleb is a Transmutation Wizard, he probably has some solutions.

Beau and Yasha babysitting Enfeebled Molly-King kinda made me think that they'd make pretty good parents. I don't think Beau can get away with absconding with her baby brother to raise him better. They'd make awesome Lesbian Mothers on their own.

Essek is gonna have to deal with outliving his partner, Caleb. But what if years down the line, Caleb convinces Essek that a living legacy might ease the hurt of out-living a human partner? Have a little half-elf kid? Get to surround himself with generations of family by the time he himself gets elderly sounds nice.

This was the stuff I spent today daydreaming about, lol. Had to write these down or else I'd fixate on these ideas all weekend. :P

Edit: Oh hey! I almost forgot about Kingsley! Everything is shiny and new, and I fully expect he's going to learn about fucking soon. If one of the first places he goes is waiting for Captain Fjord on the Nein Heroez, he's going to be getting to know the crew. I have a feeling he will home in on Marius as his first fuckbuddy. IDK what the rest of the crew is like, but I imagine he'll try and sleep with everyone (even make a pass at Orly, but get declined.)

When Fjord and Jester get back, I imagine one them would encounter Kingsley hiding away in his little fuck bunk on a fuck break, probably with Marius. Marius will obviously get all the blame, and Jester will probably gossip with Kingsley while Fjord would caution him to tone things down to hopefully avoid future conflicts. (HE'S BEEN THERE.)

[diarrheaworldstarhiphop]

Five years ago, while a student at Columbia, Sulkowicz lugged a dorm-issue, extra-long twin mattress around campus for as long as she had to attend school with her alleged rapist. This was Mattress Performance (Carry That Weight), a globally viral art piece that made visible the weight of campus sexual assault. It transformed Sulkowicz into an icon. Since then, her artworks have regularly roused the internet: a video of her reenacting her assault, a bondage performance at the Whitney that doubled as institutional critique. This past spring, she tweeted an image that was perhaps even more provocative: a photo of her grinning alongside two of her libertarian critics — not performance art, she insists, but a byproduct of her new curiosity about other views.

“All my clothes are in boxes,” she tells me, gesturing apologetically to her oversize charcoal hoodie. She’s in the midst of moving from a sublet owned by a tantra instructor (mirrors surrounding the bed to create an infinite regression — that kind of thing) to an apartment in lower Manhattan whose location she asks me not to reveal, since “there’s some really scary people who are obsessed with me.” Her hair is short-cropped and coffee black, its natural color after years of bright dyes, and her voice is buoyant, laughter always bubbling underneath. Since 2016, Sulkowicz has identified as gender fluid, and she sometimes uses they/them pronouns. When I ask what to use for this article, she texts me, “Lol I’m not clear about it either,” before settling on she/her.

During the summer of 2018, Sulkowicz tells me, she was single for the first time in years. Swiping through Tinder, a man she found “distasteful” super-liked her. “It smelled like Connecticut,” she says of his profile. “He was very blond, law school, cut jawline, trapezoidal body figure, tweed suit kind of vibe, but something inside of me made me swipe right, I don’t know.” They began messaging, and she found him witty. “He was actually way more fun to talk to than any other person I matched with.”

Eventually, Sulkowicz stalked him on Twitter and realized that he was conservative — “like, very conservative.” At first, she was repulsed and considered breaking it off. But then she thought, “Wait, actually, that’s kind of fucked up because he’s the most interesting person I’ve come across, shouldn’t I be open to talking to him?” After dispelling her initial fear, she texted him that it would be “interesting (progressive? Powerful?) for two people who might be the antithesis of each other to go on a Tinder date.”

Ahead of this date, they traded reading assignments: Sulkowicz gave him the password to protected areas of her website, and he sent pieces he’d written for conservative magazines, which she printed, annotated with her critiques, and brought to their date. This man expected Sulkowicz to be “the patron saint of wokeness,” but when he met her, he found that she wasn’t actually trying to litigate the issues — she was mostly just “curious about this different perspective that she had not been as familiar with.” The two “sort of dated” for a while and then realized that their chemistry was more conversational. They became “amazing friends.”

Not having known conservatives before, Sulkowicz had to play catch up. Early in their friendship, she asked him to recommend one book to help her understand him, and he picked Jonathan Haidt’s The Righteous Mind. It’s a book that explains, in evolutionary terms, the human tendency toward political tribalism and the importance, in light of that, of learning from one another’s beliefs. She calls the book “mind-opening.” Its resonance with her new friendship did not escape her.

Shortly after, Sulkowicz attended a book talk of Haidt’s. This was for The Coddling of the American Mind, which diagnoses the campus left with the kinds of cognitive distortions that addle the chronically anxious and depressed: a tendency to blow everyday problems out of proportion, or to believe that one’s negative feelings reflect reality. This book kicked a hornet’s nest on the left, and when Haidt learned that Sulkowicz was at his talk, he didn’t assume she was a fan. “I expected her to be the sort of person who sometimes asks the angry question when I give lectures on campuses,” Haidt tells me. “And when I first saw her and she had blue hair, that fed my assumptions and expectations about what her views and values would be.” But Sulkowicz surprised him. “It changed the way I think about politics,” she said about The Righteous Mind, “and I wanted to thank you for it.” The two became friends.

Soon, she began attending house parties and happy hours with conservative and libertarian intellectuals, reading Jordan Peterson and articles from the National Review. In the past, Sulkowicz dismissed opposing views without understanding them, but now she sees intellectual curiosity as intertwined with respect: she wants to disagree with people on their own terms. This is an ethical position, but one with personal resonance. “I’ve always been upset,” she admits, “that there are people out there who assume that I’m a bad or mean person without ever having met me.” When she describes her political journey, she fixates on the experience of surprising people, of walking into a group who might otherwise dislike her and “disrupting their expectations.” At these parties, she reflects, “I can become fuller to certain people rather than staying the same caricature. I’m going from flat to round.”

- - -

A couple weeks after our lunch, Sulkowicz brings me to a book party at a dark bar on Bleecker Street. Here, she introduces me to her friend from Tinder, who asks that I not use his real name for this article. (It might be a distraction at his white-shoe law firm and, besides, “Emma is inured to online hate, but I am not.”) When he asks if he can choose his own pseudonym, I tell him sure. He picks Chad. It’s a reference to the incel term for men who, due to serendipitous genetics, are attractive enough to have oodles of sex. All of us laugh, but Sulkowicz laughs loudest, her voice tinkling, bell-like, and leaping between octaves.

Chad is a Chad, by the way, and he does “smell like Connecticut”: he has cornsilk hair, a shieldlike chest, and a jawline that an incel might show his surgeon for inspiration. But Chad is also a different kind of conservative than I imagined. Rather than a bowtie-sporting William F. Buckley type thumbing his nose at populism, he finds Reaganism laughably passé and aligns himself with Tucker Carlson’s anti-elite drive to regulate markets. He says that he would support some of Trump’s policy agenda, if only the president were competent enough to achieve it.

This party is for Robby Soave, a libertarian reporter on the snowflake beat whose new book, Panic Attack: Young Radicals in the Age of Trump, is — per Soave’s own description — “a book that is extremely critical of [Sulkowicz] and that I don’t wish her to read.” Soave met Sulkowicz a month or so before at another libertarian happy hour. Initially bewildered, he warmed to her, finding her to be inquisitive and even fun to talk to. “We exchanged contact information,” he tells me later, “and talked about maybe becoming, I guess, friends or something?” He laughs incredulously as he says this, sounding a bit on edge.

As Sulkowicz swirls around the party, her presence stirs an obvious question: whether this is performance art. Soave brings it up twice when we speak on the phone afterward, acknowledging the possibility that he’s being set up. While he’s inclined to believe that Sulkowicz is moved by earnest curiosity, he’s aware of her background in “elaborately planned performance art” and her reputation as a provocateur. Since graduating from Columbia in 2015, Sulkowicz has done around a dozen performances touching on issues like consent, anti-institutionalism, climate change, trauma, wellness, and female sexual desire. It’s natural to wonder if she’s currently breaking bread with this crowd to lampoon civility politics or to expose views she hates. Honestly, it might be harder to believe that she’s simply trying to learn.

But Sulkowicz is adamant that this isn’t performance. In fact, she insists that she’s quitting art altogether. After one of our lunches, she bikes off to return the keys to her studio, which she’s emptied and swept clean. “For many years,” she explains, “I wasn’t interested in listening to other points of view. I was very emotional and making performance-art pieces that were very reactionary and fiery.” Without disowning them, she describes these artworks as something she “got out of her system.”

Having found the art world humorless, narrow-minded, and grotesquely competitive, Sulkowicz says she stopped making art about a year ago. She quit a fellowship at a museum, ceased teaching art classes, and was essentially unemployed for a time, drawing income from occasional speaking gigs, mostly about campus sexual assault. (Her remarks on Me Too have been fewer; she supports it, but wants a clearer path to forgiveness.) She has been working on a memoir that draws on her diaries from Mattress Performance, and last month, she started a full-time, four-year master’s program in traditional Chinese medicine. There, she’ll learn skills from acupuncture to herbalism, which have been her “personal healing modality” for years. Sulkowicz has parried assumptions that this is performance art, too. It grates on her. “I’m a human and humans can change,” she says, insistently. “I’m telling you that I don’t want to make art anymore.”

But in some ways, it’s easier to assume that Sulkowicz’s political posture is performance art: this provides a clear motive, one that’s politically straightforward. If Sulkowicz is not making art, then it’s much harder to grasp why she’s doing this and what it means. Part of the confusion, Sulkowicz assumes, springs from a pervasive misunderstanding about who she is, rooted in the dissonance between her public image and private consciousness. While many assume she’s at Soave’s book party for some admixture of art and progressive politics, Sulkowicz says she’s mostly there for fun.

[charminglatina]

Riverdale Couples as Modern Celebrity Couples (Part II) ⭐️.

#12. Fremione (Modern Celebrity Couple: Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston AKA “BRANNIFER”)

Brad Pitt + Jennifer Aniston ❤️

• Portmanteau Name: Brannifer   • Full Birth Names: William Bradley “Brad” Pitt, Jennifer Joanna Aniston • Birthdays: Brad (Dec. 18th, 1963), Jennifer (Feb. 11th, 1969) • Current Ages as of 2019: Brad (55), Jennifer (50) • Zodiac Signs: Brad (Sagittarius), Jennifer (Aquarius) • Total Biorhythm Chemistry % Score: 87% • When They Met: 1998  • How Long They Were Together: 7 years (1998–2005) • Current Relationship Status: Divorced

History of Brad and Jennifer’s Relationship: Brad Pitt has shocked everyone after allegedly crashing his ex-wife Jennifer Aniston's 50th birthday party. There have been rumours that both Brad and Jennifer came in contact after their separations from their respective partners, but this is for the first time when media has actually spotted something like this happening.Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were considered an epitome of love in the entertainment industry. Their love and subsequent courtship proved that to their fans that they are going to last forever. Here's a complete timeline of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, right from their first meeting to their ugly divorce. As per several earlier reports, Brad and Jennifer were reportedly went on their first date in 1998 after being set up by their respective agents — talk about some Hollywood rom-com movie! During those days, they both tried to maintain secrecy about their romance but since at that time, Brad has his own fan/media following, the entertainment industry soon got the wind of his alleged affair with Jennifer, who at that time, had already made a name of herself by starring as Rachel Green in hit sitcom, FRIENDS. Reflecting about their first date, Jennifer Aniston stated in 2004 that she and Brad both knew that their relationship is meant to be, and added, "That was a really easy evening. It was really fun." Soon after their romantic relationship got the flow, several fans and well-wishers were wondering when they will publicly get to see the couple. Brad and Jennifer fulfilled their wishes by making their first public debut as a couple on the red carpet for the Emmy Awards in 1999. A few months later, the alleged couple even crashed a live concert in New York City. What made the String's concert more memorable for Brad and Jen's ardent followers is the latter's engagement ring, which the actress flaunted with grace and dignity. Right after their engagement, there were talks about an extravagant wedding happening in the heart of Malibu. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston tied knots on July 29, 2000, at a lavish wedding.Brad Pitt frequently visited Jennifer Aniston at Warner Bros. studio where she worked for FRIENDS. He never did go onto the set for fear of distracting the audience, however, he had a brilliant cameo in the show.Brad Pitt was starred at FRIENDS' season 8 episode 9 as Will Colbert, who reveals that he and Ross Geller (David Schwimmer) were part of an "I hate Rachel" club. Due to their offscreen chemistry and media coverage, this episode of Friends titled "The One with the Rumor" fetched Brad a Primetime Emmy Awards nomination for Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series. Back in 2003, when during an interview, Brad Pitt was referred to as the love of Jennifer Aniston's life, the acclaimed actress responded by saying:"Is he the love of my life? I think you're always sort of wondering, 'Are you the love of my life?' I mean, I don't know, I've never been someone who says, 'He's the love of my life.' He's certainly a big love in my life...," via WMagazine. Things between Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston went south when the former met Angelina Jolie on the set of an action-comedy movie, Mr. & Mrs. Smith. During the filming, several reports surfaced that Brad and Angelina are reportedly dating, which Angelina denied later. However, she did recall the time when she filmed with Brad and stated that during the production of the movie, they both found a strange partnership which suddenly happened. Soon after the rumours of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie made the headlines, Jennifer Aniston and Brad decided to end their marriage. In a joint statement, the couple reflected on their friendship and stated that they have taken this decision with "much thoughtful consideration."In October 2005, Brad and Jennifer finalized their divorce. After ending her marriage with Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston chose to stay single for a long time. But finally decided to settle down with writer Justin Theroux in August 2015. By then, Brad had already gotten married to Angelina Jolie and even had six wonderful children. Coming to present, Brad Pitt may have crashed Jennifer Aniston's 50th birthday party but that does not mean that they are now a couple. As per a report by People, Jennifer was very happy that Brad Pitt showed up for her birthday. (Source:  https://www.ibtimes.co.in/brad-pitt-jennifer-aniston-complete-timeline-hollywoods-most-talked-about-affair-791727) It's been more than a decade since the breakup of Jennifer Aniston's marriage to Brad Pitt. Though both actors eventually moved on to relationships with other people, the public remains fixated on figuring out what went wrong for the one-time "it couple." Although observers are often willing to place the majority of the blame on interference by Angelina Jolie, it turns out there are multiple reasons as to why Aniston and Pitt called it quits.You may be surprised to know there was trouble in paradise before anyone ever heard of Mr. & Mrs. Smith. As much as we'd like to think Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston would still be together had it not been for an alleged affair with Angelina Jolie, statements by Pitt indicate he was probably already looking for an out before he found it in his Mr. & Mrs. Smith co-star. In Pitt's own words, he "got burnt out and felt that [he] was wasting [his] opportunity." We can only assume he meant he was "wasting his life" in an unhappy marriage instead of being honest about his own feelings.By contrast, Jennifer Aniston seemed ready to work on their decaying marriage. "Those moments where it looks like 'Uh-oh, this isn't working!' — those are the most important, transformative moments," said Aniston. "That's not Brad's view of it. We believe in different things, I guess. The "Sexiest Man Alive" married "America's Sweetheart," and the public fell in love. Expectations were high from the very beginning. New York Daily News reported that immediately after Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston married, they moved into a "a $1.7 million, 14,000 square-foot mansion in Beverly Hills, California." They were constantly in the public eye and there were very public hopes that Pitt and Aniston would eventually have a beautiful blond-haired child for everyone to fawn over. The couple may have felt an intense amount of pressure to keep up perfect appearances and always pretend to be more in love than what they felt at any given time. The need to live up to the high standards of millions of total strangers could have proven too much in the end. It's hard enough to be there for each other when one partner in a relationship is very busy. In the case of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, both actors were in high demand when they married. That meant that it was very hard for them to be together whenever they wanted. Aniston admitted there were times she really wanted Pitt to be there for her, but he couldn't be due to a busy schedule. As the International Business Times reports, the two were spending an ever increasing amount of time apart thanks to his working on films like Ocean's Twelve and Troy while she was at work on The Good Girl. Although they made an appearance together at the 2004 Primetime Emmy Awards, leading the public to believe everything was just fine — despite their conflicting schedules — the two would announce to the world that their marriage was over just a few short months later. In an interview with Esquire, Brad Pitt admitted he was on drugs at the time of their divorce. "For a long time I thought I did too much damage — drug damage." Pitt said that he was "burn out" from his lifestyle, and felt he needed a change. Unfortunately for Aniston, this out-with-the-old attitude meant that in addition to changing up his lifestyle, he also wanted to remove himself from their relationship. The Aniston-Pitt-Jolie situation is a tricky one. Allegedly, Jen Aniston and Brad Pitt were already in the midst of a divorce when the actor began his relationship with Angelina Jolie. When Vanity Fair writer Leslie Bennets asked about the "gracious, no-one-is-to-blame announcement of their separation," Aniston said as far as she knew, the statement was true. However, she was admittedly shocked when immediately afterward, Pitt was photographed with Jolie, "frolicking on the beach with Maddox at a romantic resort in Africa."Aniston, who by contrast kept a decidedly low profile following the separation, admitted to being "shocked," by how quickly her ex moved on. So quickly that it seemed to justify rumors of infidelity. As Us Weekly points out, Jolie and Pitt met and fell in love while filming Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Filming took place during January 2004. Pitt didn't officially separate from Aniston until about a year later. With this in mind, it seems like a situation where Aniston was duped into believing the problems in her marriage weren't related to infidelity when there are reports that seem to contradict this. In Jen Aniston's own words, there is no simple or singular explanation for why her marriage to Brad Pitt never worked out. "It's just complicated," says Aniston. "Relationships are complicated, whether they're friendships or business relationships or parent relationships. I don't think anybody in a marriage gets to a point where they feel like 'We've got it!' You're two people continually evolving." As for relationships falling apart, she adds, "There are all these levels of growth — and when you stop growing together, that's when the problems happen." Despite the decade-long examination of this failed celebrity relationship, the truth is…we may never really know the truth as to what went wrong for Pitt and Aniston. It makes sense. If the very people in the relationship don't both fully comprehend where things went wrong, it only stands to reason that eager outsiders will be just as confused, if not more so (Source: https://www.nickiswift.com/36586/real-reason-brad-pitt-jen-aniston-got-divorced/)

#13. Formione (Modern Celebrity Couple: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie AKA “BRANGELINA”)

Brad Pitt + Angelina Jolie ❤️

• Portmanteau Name: Brangelina   • Full Birth Names: William Bradley “Brad” Pitt, Angelina Jolie Voight • Birthdays: Brad (Dec. 18th, 1963), Angelina (Jun. 04th, 1975) • Current Ages as of 2019: Brad (55), Angelina (43) • Zodiac Signs: Brad (Sagittarius), Angelina (Gemini) • Total Biorhythm Chemistry % Score: 63% • When They Met: 2003 • How Long They Were Together: 12 years (2004–2016) • Current Relationship Status: Divorced

History of Brad and Angelina’s Relationship: It was an announcement that rocked the entertainment world when Angelina Jolie Pitt filed for divorce from husband of two years Brad Pitt in 2016.“I am very saddened by this, but what matters most now is the well-being of our kids,” Pitt said in a statement to PEOPLE. “I kindly ask the press to give them the space they deserve during this challenging time.”Now as the couple engages in a custody battle, let’s take a look back at how Pitt and Jolie Pitt went from onscreen love interests to one of the biggest couples in Hollywood. The couple met on the set of their now-iconic spy thriller Mr. & Mrs. Smithin 2003, and though sparks flew between the pair, Jolie Pitt said that she never had any intention of breaking up Pitt’s marriage.. “I didn’t know much about exactly where Brad was in his personal life,” Jolie Pitt told Vogue in 2006. “But it was clear he was with his best friend, someone he loves and respects. And so we were both living, I suppose, very full lives … I think we were the last two people who were looking for a relationship. I certainly wasn’t. I was quite content to be a single mom.” Jolie maintained that they remained “very, very good friends” after the movie wrapped, although they realized at the end of the shoot in 2004 that “it might mean something more than we’d earlier allowed ourselves to believe.” Though reps for the couple continued to publicly deny a romance between them, the stars were spotted on vacation together in April 2005, and photographs featuring Pitt helping Maddox build sandcastles sent the press into a frenzy.Later, Jolie Pitt would reveal that it was Pitt’s relationship with Maddox that helped encourage them to take the leap and become a couple. According to the 2006 Vogue story, Maddox “just out of the blue called him Dad. It was amazing. We were playing with cars on the floor of a hotel room, and we both heard it and didn’t say anything and just looked at each other. So that was probably the most defining moment, when he decided that we would all be a family.” That June, the couple appeared in an extensive photo spread for Wmagazine entitled “Domestic Bliss,” which featured the stars posing as husband and wife – which caused even more controversy for the pair, since they were taken just a few months after Pitt’s first marriage ended. Still, Jolie Pitt took the negative attention in stride. “People will say what they want to say, and it’s okay,” she said to Today in 2005. “And my life will go on, and I need to focus on my life. So, do I need to defend that I’m a decent woman? I sure hope I don’t. I know I am.” n July 2005, Jolie Pitt finalized the adoption of her second child, Zahara, from Ethiopia – as a single parent, it was revealed to PEOPLE. However, Jolie Pitt and her children were often photographed out with Pitt.In January 2006, Jolie Pitt revealed that she was expecting her first childwith Pitt, and that the actor had recently taken steps to adopt Maddox and Zahara, and change their last names to Jolie-Pitt. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt joined the ever-expanding brood in May of 2006, after Jolie-Pitt gave birth in Namibia. Less than one year later, the couple announced yet another bundle of joy: Jolie Pitt adopted son Pax, then 3, from Vietnam in March 2007. A source told PEOPLE that the Jolie-Pitt family began the adoption process just a few months after Shiloh was born. In February 2008, the couple confirmed that they were expecting once again, and during an interview at the Cannes Film Festival in May of that year, Jolie Pitt shared that she was pregnant with twins. The family welcomed Knox and Vivienne in August 2008 in Nice, France. In an interview with W in October of that year, Jolie Pitt credited Pitt with changing her mind about having children of her own, in addition to adopting. “I suppose I just looked at him and loved him and just felt open to [getting pregnant],” she said. “I suddenly wanted to. It’s one of those things you can’t explain … It taught me a lot about life, just the process of it, and now we have three other beautiful children that wouldn’t otherwise be here.” After welcoming their fifth and sixth children, the couple became slightly more public about their relationship, and were frequently spotted packing on the PDA on red carpets and out at events. And naturally, rumors of an impending wedding began to swirls. n 2008, Pitt told Parade that they had no plans to get married until all couples could: “When someone asked me why Angie and I don’t get married, I replied, ‘Maybe we’ll get married when it’s legal for everyone else.’ I stand by that, although I took a lot of flak for saying it,” he said. However, in 2011, he revealed that the couple’s six children were pressuring them to make things official. “The kids are putting on the heat. They really are,” he revealed on Ellen in September. “How do you I get out of this one? Somebody help me. I don’t know what the future holds.”Still, Jolie Pitt revealed that the pair weren’t in a rush to tie the knot. “We will get married, and we’re not really in a rush, so we’re just waiting for it to be the right time with the kids, with work, when it feels right,” she told PEOPLE in May 2014. “We talk about it occasionally, and the kids talk about it with us … Which is verging on hysterical, how kids envision a wedding. They will in a way be the wedding planners. It’s going to be Disney or paintball – one or the other! We’ve got a lot of different personalities in the house. They’ve got some strong opinions. It will be fun. That’s the important thing. When we do it, it will feel like a great day for our family.” In May 2013, Jolie Pitt revealed that she had a preventative double mastectomy after genetic tests showed that she had a high risk of developing breast cancer. (Her mother, Marcheline Bertrand, died in 2007 after a long battle with cancer.) In a column for the New York Times, Jolie Pitt detailed the choice to have the procedure – which she explained “was not easy, but it is one I am very happy that I made” – and credited Pitt for backing her through everything. “I am fortunate to have a partner, Brad Pitt, who is so loving and supportive,” she wrote. “So to anyone who has a wife or girlfriend going through this, know that you are a very important part of the transition.” She revealed that Pitt was with her “for every minute of the surgeries,” and even during the difficult times, “We managed to find moments to laugh together.”In November 2013, he was by her side once again, as she was honored with the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award at the Governors Awards. On Aug. 23, 2014, the stars quietly tied the knot in an intimate ceremony at Château Miraval, the family’s estate in Correns, France. “It was important to us that the day was relaxed and full of laughter,” the couple told PEOPLE. “It was such a special day to share with our children and a very happy time for our family.” Jolie Pitt wore an Atelier Versace gown and veil that featured dozens of designs from her children’s drawings embroidered onto the fabric. “The children wrote vows and asked us to make promises to each other,” she said of the family-oriented ceremony. “It was very sweet what they came up with.” In November 2014, the couple made their debut as Mr. and Mrs. Pitt at the world premiere of her film, Unbroken, in Sydney, Australia. They spent their “honeymoon” vacationing off the coast of Malta with their family, and filming By the Sea, which would mark their first on-screen collaboration since Mr. & Mrs. Smith. In the months after their wedding, the couple appeared to be happier than ever, even after another heath scare that resulted in Jolie Pitt opting to have her fallopian tubes and ovaries removed in March 2015 after tests indicated markers that could be a sign of early cancer. Again, Pitt was by her side throughout the ordeal. In November of 2015, Pitt opened up about what life with Jolie Pitt and their six children was like in an interview with The Telegraph. “[There’s] a lot of love, a lot of fighting, a lot of refereeing; a lot of teeth-brushing and spilling,” he said. “Chaos, total chaos. But so much fun.” He also revealed that the pair had intended to have even more children: “Listen, Angie and I were aiming for a dozen, but we crapped out after six.” In December, the couple released By the Sea, their first film together in 10 years. Though the movie followed the disintegration of a marriage, Jolie Pitt revealed that they were stronger than ever. “Brad and I have our issues, but if the characters were even remotely close to our problems we couldn’t have made the film,” she told The Telegraph in November 2015.”To be clear: we have fights and problems like any other couple. We have days when we drive each other absolutely mad and want space, but the problems in the movie aren’t our specific problems.” Though the couple was spotted enjoying a romantic getaway to Vietnam over the holidays, sightings of the family became increasingly few and far between. Over the past year, the stars were kept busy with various projects: Pitt was filming Allied and War Machine, while Jolie Pitt finished filming First They Killed My Father and kept up with her humanitarian efforts, speaking at a House of Lords committee in London, leading an honorary committee for this year’s Cambodian International Film Festival and advocating for victims of sexual assault in war zones. The Pitts were last seen together in public in July, when they stopped into a Jamba Juice store in L.A. with Shiloh. In September 2016, multiple sources confirmed to PEOPLE that Jolie Pitt had filed for divorce. According to TMZ, she cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for the split, and legal documents reveal that she is asking for physical custody of the couple’s six children. In the months following their split, the exes returned to their lives as normal. Jolie continued her advocacy work, directed an Oscar-nominated animated movie and resumed acting with Maleficent 2. Pitt starred in and produced numerous film projects and even started reportedly dating, being seen with MIT professor Neri Oxman in April.The divorce seemed to be proceeding as normal until June, when a judge presiding over the case ruled that Jolie could lose primary custody of their six children if she doesn’t allow them each to form a “healthy and strong relationship” with her father. Pitt was given a detailed visitation schedule of when he could spend time with each child in London, where Jolie was filming for the summer. A spokesperson for the actress responded to the papers, which also granted Pitt unsupervised cell phone contact with the kids, by calling the public’s awareness of the documents “deplorable.”“From the start, Angelina has been focused only on their health and needs,” the statement to PEOPLE continued, “which is why it was so important that this last court hearing be conducted privately.” (Source: https://people.com/movies/brad-pitt-angelina-jolie-divorce-relationship-timeline/) Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie broke hearts the world over when the Oscar-winning actress filed for divorce on Sept. 19, 2016. The powerful couple was together 12 years, though only married for two. They share six gorgeous children (Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh, and twins Knox and Vivienne), and let's face it, these two were among the most beautiful pairings on the planet, right? So what happened?Jolie wasn't messing around with the split, initially hiring celebrity divorce lawyer Laura Wasser to rep her — the same lawyer who represented Johnny Depp in his ugly divorce from actress Amber Heard. That means it's serious. Sources told TMZ that Jolie's decision to end the marriage stemmed from disagreements with Pitt about parenting and his "interactions with the children," but it turns out this once-golden couple may have had a laundry list of reasons why it just didn't work. Let's take a closer look at the shocking downfall of Brangelina. 1. They were built on a faulty foundation: You know the story by now: In 2003, Brad Pitt, who was then married to Friends star Jennifer Aniston, signed on to star in Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Originally, Nicole Kidman was set to play opposite the blond hunk, but Pitt reportedly didn't feel enough chemistry with her and dropped out of the film. Kidman moved on to Stepford Wives. According to News.com.au, Producer Arnon Milchan said "immediately after he cast [Jolie] as the female lead, Pitt called him back to say he was happy to play Mr. to her Mrs." Filming started in January 2004, and rumors soon began to swirl that the pair was hooking up.In May 2004, Pitt took then-wife Aniston to the Troy premiere, possibly to quiet the scandalous chatter. That August, paparazzi captured Pitt and Jolie looking cozy, which Mr. and Mrs. Smith insiders dismissed as being in character. In December 2004, Pitt vacationed with Aniston, and one month later, in January 2005, they announced their separation. That March, Aniston filed for divorce. In April 2005, Pitt and Jolie were photographed vacationing with Jolie's son, Maddox, and the rest is history. Any relationship that starts with either partner cheating (or even just having an emotional affair) is bound to have trust issues at some point, right? 2. They couldn't keep their stories straight: The Jolie-Aniston-Pitt love triangle made tabloids explode. Despite all parties denying that there was cheating involved, Pitt and Jolie had a hard time keeping their stories straight. They both initially claimed nothing happened until after Pitt and Aniston divorced, but in a 2007 Vogue cover story (via People), Jolie made it clear that a deep relationship had developed during filming (when Pitt was still married). "Because of the film, we ended up being brought together to do all these crazy things, and I think we found this strange friendship and partnership that kind of just suddenly happened," she said. "I think a few months in I realized, 'God, I can't wait to get to work.' … Anything we had to do with each other, we just found a lot of joy in it together and a lot of real teamwork. We just became kind of a pair."Media scrutiny makes any relationship harder, and for a long time, these two courted it — remember that infamous W magazine spread that starred Pitt and Jolie as a sexy married couple — the one that came out as Pitt and Aniston were falling apart? It looks like the press Brangelina loved so much in the beginning came back to bite them later. 3. They 'tested' their marriage by working together again: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie co-starred in 2015's By the Sea, which may have been a case of art imitating life. The film focused on a broken relationship between an unhappy couple. When asked about it, Brangelina was quick to deny any problems, leading a lot of us to think now that the lady (and gentleman) doth protested too much."We're actually very very stable and these aren't our issues," she told Tom Brokaw on Today in October 2015. Jolie later told the Daily Mail that making the film "was our way of testing ourselves. We knew that if we could get through this, we'd come out even stronger and happier. And we did. We've always liked putting ourselves through challenges, even though it was maybe a little more dangerous for us as a couple." She also added, "I don't think we want to go through it again though." 4. Their lifestyles are worlds apart:  Page Six reported that Jolie and Pitt have very different priorities. She is said to be looking for fulfillment outside of Tinseltown while he supposedly loves being Hollywood's golden boy. "The older she gets, the more serious she becomes, and she is sick of the Hollywood thing," a source claimed. "He wants to make movies. She doesn't. It's a fundamental difference. It's how you live your life."Did Jolie's quest to serve the greater good of the world damage her own family? "Ultimately, she almost got too comfortable [acting as a role model]," an insider told Page Six. "She wasn't able to adapt to some of the realities of her marriage and her life. She just assumed that people would follow whatever she said, including her husband, and so when they had marital issues, she … believed she could just bully him into whatever she wanted."While Pitt has clearly supported and respected Jolie's extensive humanitarian efforts in the past, he may have grown skeptical over time. "Brad used to admire Angie's humanitarian work, but is now more suspicious of her true motivations," a source told Radar Online in June 2018, as the exes' custody battle continued. "Brad wasn't surprised that Angie went to Iraq over the weekend when he was with the kids for Father's Day."Sources also told Us Weekly that the couple argued over politics. During the 2016 election season, when their split was announced, those "heated political fights" may have intensified. 5. She didn't have a lot of friends ... and may have hated his: Jolie admitted to Marie Claire in 2012 (via the Daily Mail) that she relied predominantly on Pitt for any sort of adult interactions outside of work conversations. "I don't have a lot of friends I talk to. He is really the only person I talk to," she said. Perhaps she wanted Pitt to join her in a rather isolated bubble. Radar Online claimed Jolie resented his friendships with other stars, notably actor Edward Norton. "Angelina has always thought Ed's a shallow underachiever who brings out the immature side of Brad, and she's not impressed by his wife," a source alleged. An insider told Page Six that Jolie supposedly envies the attention showered on renowned human rights attorney Amal Clooney, who is the wife of Pitt's bestie, actor George Clooney — because apparently there can only be one gorgeous brunette humanitarian at a time.Meanwhile, the friends that Jolie does have include Lady Arminka Helic of the U.K. House of Lords and former Hague aide Chloe Dalton, who were suspected to have planted stories smearing Pitt in the press, reported Page Six. 6. He was dogged by cheating rumors: You know the old saying "If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you?" Well, somewhere Aniston may be snickering and looking up quotes about karma because Page Six reported that Pitt allegedly hooked up with Allied co-star Marion Cotillard, and an insider claimed he was shacking up with "Russian hookers" as well. A source said, "He's in the throes of some insane midlife crisis, and Angie's fed up. She hired a private eye because she felt that he was fooling around with her on the set, and it turns out, he was. And that was the final straw."Cotillard vehemently denied having an affair with Pitt. She confronted the rumors on Instagram in September 2016: "Firstly, many years ago, I met the man of my life, father of our son and of the baby we are expecting. He is my love, my best friend, the only one that I need … Finally, I do very much wish that Angelina and Brad, both whom I deeply respect, will find peace in this very tumultuous moment."Nothing materialized from all that tabloid dirt, but the salacious headlines likely added more strain to an already tenuous time between Pitt and Jolie. 7. She has a history of unconventional relationships: When Angelina was married to actor Jonny Lee Miller, she reportedly cheated on him with model Jenny Shimizu, who she met on the set of 1996's Foxfire. Jolie talked about her torrid affair with Shimizu to Girlfriends magazine in 1997. "I would probably have married Jenny Shimizu if I hadn't married my husband," she said (via Popdust). "I fell in love with her the first second I saw her." Jolie reportedly had an on-again, off-again relationship with Shimizu, even when they were both dating other people.Jolie reportedly hooked up with second husband Billy Bob Thornton while he was in a live-in relationship with actress Laura Dern in 1999. Dern told Talk magazine (via ABC News,) "I left our home to work on a movie, and while I was away, my boyfriend got married, and I've never heard from him again. It's like a sudden death. For no one has there been any closure or clarity."Considering Jolie has also described doing drugs and cutting with former lovers, perhaps the relative stability and normalcy of a heterosexual marriage with Brad Pitt grew tiresome to her. 8. They disagreed on how to raise their six kids: Insiders claim the biggest issue Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt faced in their relationship was their conflicting views on parenting — and when you have a brood of six children, that's going to be a big problem. "Their parenting approach was always very different," a source told People. "Since their separation, it's been obvious that they weren't going to figure things out on their own when it comes to the kids." A source told the magazine, " Brad has always been stricter … Angelina always had a more relaxed attitude when it came to the kids."Pitt told GQ that his upbringing may have influenced his parenting style. "I grew up with a Father-knows-best/war mentality — the father is all-powerful, super strong — instead of really knowing the man and his own self-doubt and struggles," he said. The actor said the divorce made him realize he's "gotta be more for them. I have to show them. And I haven't been great at it." To each of their credit, Jolie told Good Morning America that "of course" Pitt is a good father and that they'd always be a family. 9. That infamous in-flight incident: While it's unclear exactly how Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie differ on parenting, it's clear that something happened on a private plane between Pitt and their son, Maddox, that prompted Jolie to file for divorce and instigated a Child Protective Services investigation into Pitt.TMZ reported that Pitt allegedly argued with Jolie during a private flight, at which point Maddox stepped between his parents to defend his mother. Pitt was accused of lunging at Maddox. The tab also claims Pitt was inebriated at some point during the incident, and sources said Jolie was concerned for the safety of her children. Us Weekly reported that the fight was sparked when a frustrated Jolie urged Pitt to "sober up." Whatever went down on that plane, Pitt was eventually cleared of any wrongdoing or abuse allegations in a Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services investigation. 10. He suffered from substance abuse issues: TMZ reported that Jolie was fed up with Pitt's alleged marijuana and alcohol use and its potential effects on their kids. Amid reports that Pitt was in treatment for addiction and attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, he addressed his issues head-on, telling GQ in May 2017 that he had a problem. "I can't remember a day since I got out of college when I wasn't boozing or had a spliff, or something … I'm really, really happy to be done with all of that," he said. "I stopped everything except boozing when I started my family. But even this last year … I was boozing too much. It's just become a problem. And I'm really happy it's been half a year now, which is bittersweet."Jolie famously battled heroin addiction when she was younger and also allegedly used cocaine. Being around someone who even recreationally abuses substances can be a potential trigger, in addition to a danger to their kids, so that could very well be why she pulled the plug on their marriage. 11. Angelina may be out for blood: Jolie and Pitt initially agreed to keep their divorce proceedings as private as possible to protect their kids, but the custody negotiations got ugly in 2018. Jolie has maintained primary physical custody of the kids since she and Pitt separated, with Pitt having supervised visitation. In June 2018, The Blast reported that a judge ordered Jolie to allow their children to speak and text with Pitt without her monitoring the conversations, warning her that alienating their six kids from Pitt wasn't helping her case. Jolie hired "disso queen" Laura Wasser to represent her in her divorce in 2016, but TMZ reported in August 2018 that Wasser quit working for Jolie because the actress allegedly had frequent screaming fits. "She's fueled with anger and has gotten ridiculously unreasonable," a source claimed. Court documents obtained by NBC News revealed that Jolie slammed Pitt for allegedly not paying "any meaningful child support." Pitt's camp told Page Six that he'd given Jolie $9 million since their split, part of which was a loan, and accused Jolie and her attorneys of deliberately attempting to smear him publicly.(Source: https://www.nickiswift.com/25177/really-went-wrong-brad-angelina/)

#14. Hiramione (Modern Celebrity Couple: Kanye West and  Kim Kardashian AKA “KIMYE”)

Kanye West + Kim Kardashian ❤️

• Portmanteau Name: Kimye   • Full Birth Names: Kanye Omari West, Kimberly Noel “Kim” Kardashian • Birthdays: Kanye (Jun. 08th, 1977), Kim (Oct. 21st, 1980) • Current Ages as of 2019: Kanye (41), Kim (38) • Zodiac Signs: Kanye (Gemini), Kim (Libra) • Total Biorhythm Chemistry % Score: 55% • When They Met: 2002/2003  • How Long They Were Together: 8 years (2011–Present) • Current Relationship Status: Married

History of Kanye and Kim’s Relationship: If you ask anyone who the most famous celeb couple is, you'll get your fair share of guesses. But honestly, there's really only one right answer here: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. Kimye has been in the spotlight for some time now. Just how long? Well, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's relationship timeline will help you keep up with one of the world's most famous couples and their backstory. As of late, the always-open and honest Kardashian has discussed some very personal details about her marriage to West. In fact, during her appearance on The Alec Baldwin Show on Oct. 21, she commented on her relationship, per People, and definitely raised a few eyebrows in the process."I think being with a man like Kanye, you have to learn how to be a little bit not-so-independent," the reality star said, "I’ve always been so independent and working, and [had a] schedule, and when you get married and have a husband that has their career and then have kids, your independence … you have to let it go." She also added, "I had to learn that being with a man like Kanye." It's definitely an interesting way for the Keeping Up With the Kardashians star to describe how she's evolved since marriage. In case you're wondering just what Kimye's relationship journey (and, consequently, Kardashian's personal journey) has entailed, the following timeline has got you covered. It might sound wild, but long before Kimye was even a thing, the pair met way back in the early 2000s. During the 10th anniversary special for Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Kardashian revealed how she met her husband around 2002 or 2003, per Teen Vogue. She also let it slip that he didn't exactly know how to pronounce her last name then."I met him I think in 2002 or 2003. He was recording a song with Brandy, and I was her friend. I vividly remember hanging out with him, and then they did a video together, so I’d see him a few times" she said, "He was asking his friends: 'Who is this Kim Kardajan?' He didn’t know what my name was." Well, they've certainly come a long way since then. Again, Kardashian's comments on the KUWTK 10th anniversary special highlight another major relationship milestone for Kimye. She said that after she split from her ex, Kris Humphries, in 2011, she sparked up a relationship with her now-husband. She said,"After my breakup, I was feeling really low and down and he said, 'Just come to Paris and see my fashion show.' He jokes that he put on this whole fashion show just to get a date with me. So I went there and I stayed with him, and that’s where we started dating." Shortly after it was confirmed that they were dating, it was reported in December 2012 that Kimye was set to become a family of three, per the Daily Mail. In 2013, they welcomed their first child together, a daughter named North. You can always count on West to make a grand gesture for his love. In late 2013, he pulled off the grandest of gestures in order to ask Kardashian to marry him. As seen on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the singer had many of his girlfriend's friends and family fly to San Francisco, where he then proposed. The whole romantic event left Kardashian and all of her family members completely surprised. Following their fabulous engagement, Kimye went down the aisle on May 24, 2014 in Florence, Italy, per E! News. The KKW Beauty mogul recently marked their fourth wedding anniversary on Instagram with an especially lovely message in which she said, in part, "4 years down and forever to go." In late 2015, Kimye welcomed the newest addition to the West family. As E! News reported, they welcomed their second child, a son named Saint on Dec. 5, 2015, with Kardashian announcing on her website and app at the time, "KANYE AND I WELCOME OUR BABY BOY!" After a little bit of a rough patch in their lives in 2016 that included Kardashian's terrifying robbery ordeal and West's hospitalization, Kimye revealed some happy news. In 2017, it was reported that the famous couple was set to welcome their third child via surrogate in 2018. Come January 2018, Kardashian and West's third child, Chicago West, entered the world.Kardashian and West have been through so much together. But by all accounts, it seems as though the couple is still going strong today.(Source: https://www.bustle.com/p/kim-kardashian-kanye-wests-relationship-timeline-sheds-light-on-kimyes-love-story-12994013) Though Kim Kardashian is standing by Kanye West in the midst of all his scandals, beefs, and rants, it doesn't mean she's doing it out of love. Despite their cute Instas and photo ops, the rumor mill suggests there is plenty of discord in Kim and Kanye's marriage. Let's break it down. 1. He's too dramatic: Kanye West's Twitter rants reportedly drive Kim Kardashian up the wall. The annoyance allegedly began with his hate-fueled tirade against his ex, Amber Rose, and her baby daddy, Wiz Khalifa. A source told Radar Online, "Kim told Kanye how totally inappropriate his comments were. She really let him have it. But he is still the one who rules the marriage. Kanye made Kim call Amber and meet with her. He wanted Kim to make up with Amber for him. He told her what she had to do, and she listened to him, of course."Insiders also told People that Kardashian is over her husband's social media insanity, which has included vague commentary about Bill Cosby and seriously asking Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg for $1 billion. "What causes friction in the marriage…is Kanye's compulsive tweeting," a source told the mag. "Kim can't stand it. She is all for self-promotion, but doesn't approve of Twitter drama." 2. They're materialists...and he's 'broke': In February 2016, West took to Twitter (via Billboard) to moan and groan about his financial woes. "I write this to you my brothers while still 53 million dollars in personal debt… Please pray we overcome… This is my true heart," he tweeted. Of course, those figures aren't quite accurate. West's net worth is actually about $160 million on his own, while Kardashian adds a cool $175 million to their collective total. Talk about 1 percent problems! 3. Kanye is controlling: Remember when West threw out all of Kardashian's clothes on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, just to replace them with things he'd picked out himself? That was just the beginning. From her occasional blonde hair to her increasingly dramatic use of cosmetics (and alleged cosmetic surgeries), Kardashian seems to have shed any shred of her pre-West identity. Talk show host Wendy Williams told Radar Online, "I think that she likes the illusion of having a husband and children. He likes her because he likes a nice Barbie Doll. I don't think it's a real marriage. I believe that she's more like a muse—and he's molding and creating her, so they work well together."Sources also told Radar Online that West's influence over Kardashian goes beyond the superficial, claiming the rapper tries to control her every move. "Kim is feeling totally smothered by Kanye right now," an insider said. "It's like she no longer has a voice…Kim is kind of becoming his puppet and it seems she does not like it. But she almost asked for this, because in some ways this is all that she ever wanted." 4. Kanye may be unfaithful: Ex-girlfriend Rose has come out time and again saying that her relationship with West ended because he was cheating on her with Kardashian. As the old adage goes, "If they'll do it with you, they'll do it to you." There's speculation that West's eye is wandering again, at least if his phone records are any indication. The New York Daily News reported that porn star Lisa Ann (of, er, Nailin' Palin fame) claims to have a slew of nude photos sent to her from West during his marriage to Kardashian. 5. Kim's robbery put a strain on the marriage: Some insiders say Kimye's marriage hasn't been the same since Kardashian was robbed at gunpoint inside her hotel room in Paris in October 2016. A source told Page Six, "[They] have been arguing a lot since the Paris robbery. Kim has completely calmed down her life, but Kanye is stubbornly refusing to let fear get in the way of what he wants to do."A source concurred to People, "Kim has had a very rough time since the robbery. It hasn't helped that Kanye has been touring. Their lives have been quite chaotic. It's been very trying for them both and not a good recipe for a happy marriage." The source continued, "Kim [was] usually the more stable and strong person in the marriage [before the robbery]. Kanye is used to leaning on her. Since Kim has had her own issues to deal with, the roles have been reversed. Kanye has had to stay strong to support Kim, and it's like he can't handle it anymore. It's like Kanye is falling apart now, because Kim hasn't been able to give him her full attention." 6. Kanye's breakdown hurt their union: West's November 2016 breakdown was spawned by a lot of potential challenges: mental illness, exhaustion, paranoia, the anniversary of his mother's death, and, reportedly, marital strife. That strife didn't really get better once he was out of the hospital. A source told Us Weekly that Kardashian and West were living apart while he recovered, adding, "Kim is being very protective and doesn't want Kanye around the kids right now…it's a valid concern."A source told Radar Online in March 2017, "Kim is having a really, really difficult time holding it together right now. She seems absolutely miserable and would like nothing more than to turn this around, but at this point it seems like she is just hopeless…it is like Kanye has the mentality of a five-year-old and Kim is more like his mother than his wife. The two of them are constantly fighting behind closed doors and she just seems tired of playing this charade with him." 7. Kanye has anger issues: If you need proof beyond his November 2016 breakdown that West has some sort of issue, look no further than his meltdown when performing on Saturday Night Live in February of the same year. The rapper went on a huge tirade when he discovered that Lorne Michaels' crew had the nerve to rearrange his staging for the show, and it was all recorded on audio obtained by Page Six. "Look at that s**t they took my f**king stage off'a SNL without asking me," he gripes on the recording. "I am bummed…If I am going to do this, we are breaking the motherf**king Internet." In the same audio recording, he calls Taylor Swift a "fake a**" and compares himself to Stanley Kubrick, Pablo Escobar, and the apostle Paul. Seriously.A source told Life & Style that Kimye has pursued couples' therapy in an effort to salvage the marriage. "Their therapist comes to their home and talks with them," the insider said. "They were considering divorce, but decided to try to work it out. It's been an uphill battle, but they've come a long way. They're learning how to communicate and understand each other. They have learned to get along again. The therapy is helping, for now…They discuss his different triggers and how Kim can keep him from getting upset at home." 8. He lashes out at her loved ones: Kim Kardashian may have good reason to be upset with her husband due to all the smack he talks about her loved ones. He rapped about Blac Chyna helping Rob Kardashian lose weight through what the Daily Mail referred to as "sexercise," and he reportedly made the Jenners furious when he went on a rant against Kylie Jenner's endorsement deal with Puma. West tweeted, "1000% there will never be a Kylie Puma anything. That's on my family! 1000% Kylie is on Yeezy team!!! Puma we gone give you your measly million dollars back!!! Never try to divide the family!!!" Of course, that didn't work out the way Yeezy planned. Jenner kept her deal. He eventually told TMZ, "She already signed. I was mad for a little bit. I'm really happy for her, though."According to Radar Online, Kim was also upset when West referred to talk show pal Wendy Williams as a "dude in a wig." 9. They were rich, but homeless: Kim and Kanye are overflowing with cash, yet they lived with her mom, Kris Jenner, because they kept bickering over where to hang their designer hats.In 2013, the couple reportedly spent $11 million on a 10,000 square foot Bel-Air mansion, then gutted the property and built a 14,000 square foot home in its place. TMZ reported that the home housed a lot of animosities because Kardashian allegedly bankrolled the project while "Kanye couldn't make up his mind." According to People, the couple never even settled in there before putting it on the market for $20 million in 2015. TMZ reported that the couple purchased another property in August 2014, this time in the more secluded Hidden Hills neighborhood of Los Angeles, and spent nearly three years renovating it. Throughout much of the work, they reportedly lived with Kris again. At one point, Kris actually moved out of her own home to let Kimye take over. At long last, the Daily Mail reported that the Wests were scheduled to move to their new palatial pad, boasting eight bedrooms, 10 bathrooms, and 20,000 square feet, in May 2017. 10. They're bad for one another's brands: While The Daily Show host Trevor Noah claimed in February 2016 that the Kardashians are hurting Kanye West's creativity, it appears that the family thinks the opposite may be true. Page Six reported that Kris is horrified at West's potential damage to the family brand. (Yes, the same family brand that's been built on the back of Kim's sex tape.) A source said, "His Twitter rants are out of control, and Kris fears that he's taking the family down. Kris wants Kanye to hire someone to handle all the noise and drama so he can focus on being an artist." Unfortunately, West is such a PR nightmare that publicists may not want to work with him. One told Page Six, "You couldn't pay us enough to represent Kanye. He's too much to handle."Yikes. Sounds like Kim and Kanye have a lot to deal with. (Source: https://www.nickiswift.com/10318/signs-kim-kanye-unhappy-marriage/)

#15. Fladys (Modern Celebrity Couple: Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith AKA WILLADA)

Will Smith + Jada Pinkett-Smith ❤️

• Portmanteau Name: Willada   • Full Birth Names: Willard Carroll “Will” Smith II, Jada Pinkett • Birthdays: Will (Sept. 25th, 1968), Jada (Sept. 18th, 1971) • Current Ages as of 2019: Will (50), Jada (47) • Zodiac Signs: Will (Libra), Jada (Virgo) • Total Biorhythm Chemistry % Score: 82% • When They Met: 1994 • How Long They Were Together: 24 years (1995–Present) • Current Relationship Status: Married

History of Will and Jada’s Relationship: Now this is a story all about how…Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith fell in love.As one of Hollywood's most iconic power couples, the Smiths have celebrated multiple award wins, raised three kids, and jumped out of a plane—together. Smith and his wife walked down the aisle in 1997, and have been going strong ever since. Though the two have never shied away from discussing the ups and downs of their relationship, their 21-year marriage is a testament to how they've managed to weather every storm, despite being in the public eye. In addition to charming us both on- and off-screen, the Smiths are also incredible parents to their two kids, Jaden and Willow Smith, as well as Smith's oldest son, Trey, from his first marriage to Sheree Zampino Fletcher. There's a lot to admire about the pair, so let's start from the beginning with how the Smiths romance unfolded and their most defining moments as husband and wife.  Though Smith, 50, and Pinkett Smith's relationship sounds like a story ripped straight from the plot of a romantic comedy, their meet-cute didn't have a traditional happy ending. They briefly met in 1997 when Jada, now 47, auditioned for a role as Smith's character's girlfriend on the '90s sitcom, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Unfortunately, the five-foot actress didn't get the part because she was too short. Instead, the role went to Nia Long. Still, despite their drastic height difference, Pinkett Smith would soon become Smith's leading lady off-screen a few years later. To this date, the pair have never appeared in a movie or on a TV show together. However, they do produce films through their joint production company, Overbrook Entertainment. During a 2018 Red Table Talk appearance, Smith expressed that he was attracted to Pinkett Smith when he later saw her on the college-themed TV series, A Different World. "I knew there was something in our energy that would be magic," he said. Unfortunately, Smith was married at the time to Fletcher and decided not to act on his attraction to Pinkett Smith. Smith later revealed on Red Table Talk that he knew Pinkett Smith was the one. An aha moment he had in a restaurant bathroom while he was on a dinner date with Fletcher. "I had a realization I wasn’t with the person I was supposed to be with," Smith said. "I was sitting in a stall and I was crying and laughing uncontrollably, and I knew [Jada] was the woman I was supposed to be with, but I was never getting divorced...I went back out, sat down with Sheree and started going back on with my life."It wasn't until Fletcher ended things with Smith that he tried to woo the actress. He asked Pinkett Smith if she was "seeing anyone," and her response was "no.""Cool, you’re seeing me now," Smith smoothly told her. From there, Pinkett Smith moved from Baltimore to California, and the two began dating. Smith and his ex-wife officially divorced in late 1995. Smith officially asked for his wife's hand in marriage in November 1997."One day we got engaged, and the next day we found out we were pregnant," Pinkett Smith told People. That's right, when Pinkett Smith walked down the aisle in a velvet, champagne-colored gown on December 31, 1997, she was three months pregnant with her first child. View image on Twitter The two married in a private ceremony at a hotel in Pinkett Smith's native city of Baltimore. There were no invitations sent, according to People, because the couple wanted to avoid any potential leaks to the media. Which explains why there are very few photos of their big day floating around the Interwebs, but Pinkett Smith posted the above Polaroid snap on Twitter of the pair sharing a New Year's Eve kiss shortly after saying their "I do's."On Red Table Talk, Pinkett Smith finally opened up about her wedding day, but it wasn't the fairy tale we all might've imagined."I was so upset that I had to have a wedding," she remembered. "I was so pissed. I went crying down the freakin' aisle getting married." First, came love. Then came marriage, and, well, you know the rest. Pinkett Smith welcomed her first son, Jaden Christopher Syre Smith, on July 8, 1998 in a speedy delivery. "The doctor said it would take an hour-and-a-half to deliver him," she told Fit Pregnancy. "I said, 'Oh it’s not going to take that long. I’m too anxious to meet this baby.' It took me 20 minutes to push him out. My mother’s a nurse and she was in there with me and she was amazed!"Jaden quickly followed in his parents' superstar footsteps, catching the acting bug and inheriting the music gene from his rockstar mother and rapper/actor father. Unlike Pinkett Smith, their son has starred in two movies with his dad: After Earth (2013) and The Pursuit of Happyness (2003). He also released his debut studio album in 2017, Syre, which is taken from his middle name. Smith even remixed his son's hit song, "Icon" in a tribute video in May 2018. Nearly two years later, the Smiths welcomed their daughter, Willow Camille Reign Smith, on October 31, 2000. Smith confirmed his daughter's conception happened on a drunken trip in Mexico on VH1's "Dear Mama" special. "I’m not gonna be silly," Smith said during his opening monologue. "I’m here to honor you. Just watching the piece with the kids it takes me back to when we made them. Can’t help but think about that. It’s just amazing. It’s like you take Jada Pinkett Smith and an obscure town in Mexico and some tequila and you end up with great kids!"Like her big brother, Willow also became a fixture on the entertainment scene, appearing in the movie, I Am Legend, alongside her father. Her first song, "Whip My Hair" was released in 2010 and thrust her in the spotlight. Although these days she spends her time modeling and co-hosting the Red Table Talk series with her mother and grandmother, Adrienne Banfield-Jones, Willow still sings and performs at major music festivals. After an interview with HuffPost Live on April 3, 2013, Pinkett Smith's comments about her marriage raised a few eyebrows."I’ve always told Will, 'You can do whatever you want as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and be okay,'" she said. "Because at the end of the day, Will is his own man. I’m here as his partner, but he is his own man. He has to decide who he wants to be and that's not for me to do for him. Or vice versa."This caused many people to believe she was admitting to being in an open relationship with Smith. Pinkett Smith would later clarify her statement on her personal Facebook account, opening up her intimate post with the question: Open marriage?"The statement I made in regard to, 'Will can do whatever he wants,' has illuminated the need to discuss the relationship between trust and love and how they co-exist," she wrote. In 2006, Smith made it plain to MTV News, as reported by Billboard, that "divorce can't be an option.""With Jada, I stood up in front of God and said, 'Til death do us part,' Smith said. "So there are two possible outcomes. One, we are going to be together till death, or two, I am dead."  But that didn't stop rumors from swirling that the couple were headed for splitsville. Because in 2015, Smith was forced to state the obvious again on Facebook: "In the interest of redundant, repetitious, over & over-again-ness...Jada and I are...NOT GETTING A DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"Pinkett Smith echoed her husband's frustrated sentiments during a June 2018 interview on Sway in the Morning. "Here's the thing about Will and I, it's like, we are family, that's never going down," she said. "It doesn't matter, all that relationship and what people think, ideas of a husband and a partner and all that, man, whatever, at the end of the day, that's a man that can rely on me for the rest of his life, period." On the May 2018 premiere episode, "Motherhood," of Red Table Talk, Pinkett Smith extended an invitation to an unexpected guest: Smith's ex-wife, Fletcher. The two women were completely respectful towards each other during their frank discussion, speaking candidly about their rocky past, and how Fletcher's son with Smith, Trey, led to them becoming friends and a blended family. Now, having been together for more than two decades, the Smiths revealed that they're well beyond relationship labels and traditional unions, as proven by a recent conversation Smith had on TIDAL's Rap Radar podcast in 2018. "We don't even say we're married anymore," Smith explained on the music streaming service. "We refer to ourselves as 'life partners,' where you get into that space where you realize you are literally with somebody for the rest of your life. There's no deal breakers. There's nothing she could do—ever—nothing that would break our relationship. She has my support til death, and it feels so good to get to that space." As a promise to her husband to do whatever he wanted for his 50th birthday celebration, Pinkett Smith threw caution (and her fear of heights) to the wind and went skydiving in Dubai with her partner of 21 years. Smith documented the experience on his new Facebook Watch series, Will Smith's Bucket List. "Jada, you know, she's been the glue of our family, and a mother and a wife," Smith said during the desert excursion. "Our life can be wildly constricting for her. I think she was going to experience the greatest rush of freedom and exhilaration that she's ever had in her life." (Source: https://www.oprahmag.com/life/relationships-love/a26814630/will-and-jada-pinkett-smith-marriage/) Will Smith is a multi-faceted entertainer who's full of talent. Throughout his career, he has released some chart-topping musical hits, such as the catchy jam "Gettin' Jiggy With It," and he was also the star of the cult classic sitcom The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, as well as several blockbuster movies. In 1997, he married Jada Pinkett — an actress who received critical acclaim for her roles in films, such as The Nutty Professor and Gotham. Since then, Smith and Pinkett have proven they have a bond that can't be broken. But their willingness to speak candidly about their relationship has revealed some questionable things about their unconventional union. Here are the weird things everyone ignores about their marriage. 1. She enjoys watching his sex scenes: At the premiere of Smith's film Focus, Pinkett was asked how she felt about watching her husband's steamy sex scenes he filmed with his co-star, Margot Robbie. Unsurprisingly, Pinkett was completely unbothered by it all, and she revealed that she actually enjoyed watching all the action! While speaking to Extra, Pinkett struggled to find the words to express her enjoyment of the sex scenes when Smith jumped in and stated, "She a little freaky like that." Pinkett confirmed his statement by bashfully saying, "Unfortunately, he's right. It's kind of a nice voyeuristic way to see your man, but I am kind of weird in that way. That's a whole other conversation."In fact, Pinkett practically served Smith to Robbie on a silver platter once she learned he would be starring alongside the "young and hot and in shape" Aussie actress. Smith told E! Online that Pinkett jokingly told him, "Boy don't embarrass me. Get in shape now.'" 2. She doesn't care if he's attracted to other women: Some wives may freak out over the mere thought of their spouse being attracted to someone else. But Pinkett is not your typical wife. During an interview with Howard Stern's SiriusXM radio show (via Hollywood Reporter), the actress revealed that she and Smith freely talk about their crushes in the industry. "I'm not the kind of woman that believes that a man is not gonna be attracted to other women. I'm just not that girl. It's just not realistic," she said. "Just because your man is attracted to another woman does not mean he doesn't love you."She went on to explain that if a man can't see the beauty in another woman, how would it be possible for him to see the beauty in the woman in his life? Kudos to Pinkett for being secure in her marriage and not feeling threatened by Smith's bevy of gorgeous co-stars! 3. They had a top secret wedding ceremony: Some celebs are all about having grandiose public weddings that later end up on the cover of tabloid magazines. But Pinkett and Smith took a different approach for their 1997 nuptials. After constantly telling her, "Let's get married," Pinkett finally agreed to Smith's proposal, and the two went into overdrive to plan their special day. Once they got engaged, the couple found out they were expecting their first child together, Jaden. The happy news about their bundle of joy, along with wedding planning, made things even more "hectic" for the couple, according to People magazine. However, they moved forward at lightning speed to make sure their wedding day went off without a hitch. To avoid the wedding being leaked to the media, the couple decided against sending out formal invitations. Instead, guests were told to fly to Baltimore, MD where they were holed up in posh hotel rooms at the Harbor Court and Tremont Plaza hotels. On the day of the ceremony, guests were handed envelopes with directions. They were told to give the envelopes to one of the 35 assigned limo drivers who then whisked them away to the secret wedding venue — The Cloisters, a gorgeous medieval-style castle near Baltimore. 4. They love talking about their sex life: In case you ever wondered what went down in Smith and Pinkett's bedroom… or the backseat of their limo, all you have to do is watch one of their interviews to get all the deets. These two are never too shy to lay it all out. No pun intended.In an interview with Shape magazine (via Huffington Post), Pinkett gushed about the time she and Smith hooked up in a limo on their way to the Academy Awards. "Will started looking at me in this way that drives me wild," she said. "We started kissing passionately, and the next thing I knew, well, let's just say we missed the red carpet and I ended up with almost no makeup on."Their frisky sex life was also the topic of discussion during a 2008 interview with Extra (via Huffington Post). When asked about her favorite beauty secret, Pinkett gleefully answered, "Lots of sex!" Well, that explains the eternal glow on her skin!When asked how things between her and Smith stay so hot, the actress revealed "nice outfits and high heels" were the key to a happy marriage when speaking to Redbook magazine. She also said that she and Smith spend a lot of time talking to one another and going for walks at night.Oh yeah, she also threw in going to "places outside that are comfortable to have sex" for good measure because it wouldn't be a Pinkett interview without some sex talk! 5. Did they have a trial separation?: They have dodged divorce rumors for several years, and in 2013, it seemed pretty certain that they were headed their separate ways. Radar Online (via Mirror) revealed the couple had allegedly begun a "trial separation." They hadn't been spotted together for months, and gossip rags also revealed the Hollywood power couple was living separate lives. Pinkett was reportedly staying at her brother's home, while Smith was living in New Orleans to be closer to the set of his movie, Focus.Thankfully, either the rumors of a separation were all bologna or the couple was able to pull through their rough times. Since those sad reports about them living part were leaked, their marriage now appears to be more solid than ever. 6. The have date night in their backyard: When you're big-time celebs like Smith and Pinkett, it's difficult to head out on the town without getting mauled by fans. So when these two want to have a quiet, romantic evening, they turn their home into the perfect date night setting. While speaking to Health magazine, Pinkett said their estate is designed with "different places" in their yard where they can create a memorable experience. The actress said she once pitched an "Arabian tent," covered it with pillows, broke out with the wine, cheese, and candlelight, and turned their backyard into a beautiful date night venue. Sounds pretty romantic to us, and Smith reportedly likes all of her "really thought-out productions." 7. They met on 'The Fresh Prince of Bel Air': Not only was Smith the star of one of the most popular shows in the '90s, but the set of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air is where he met the love of his life, too.The year was 1990 when Pinkett moved from Baltimore to Hollywood and auditioned for the role of Smith's character's girlfriend. Sadly, she didn't get the part because producers thought her 5'0" frame was a bit too short for 6'2" Smith, according to an interview with People magazine.While leaving the audition, Smith greeted Pinkett, but she was reportedly too "ticked off" that she didn't land the gig. They later realized they had a bunch of mutual friends. Their friendship blossomed throughout the years, and we all know how this happy story ended. Soon enough, the good pals became husband and wife! 8. She helped him get through his first divorce: Two years after they met on the set of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Smith tied the knot to his first wife, Sheree Fletcher. Smith and Fletcher's marriage was short-lived, but the former couple did have their son, Will III aka Trey,  before parting ways.While dealing with the aftermath of his divorce, Smith and Pinkett became even closer. While speaking to People magazine, Pinkett said she "helped him understand what happened in his marriage," and soon thereafter, she realized Smith was her soulmate.She called him her "safety net," and no matter what they went through together, he never turned his back on her. "No matter what, he'd be willing to work things out," she said, and the feeling of intense love was mutual. Smith said Pinkett was the first person, outside of his mother, whom he could share his thoughts with "so freely." These two are clearly a perfect match! 9. They live in a 25,000-square-foot compound: In true superstar fashion, Pinkett and Smith are living it up "big Willie style" in their 25,000-square-foot compound. It took them seven years to have the compound built from the ground up, according to the Hollywood Reporter, and the entire building process was "done by hand," Will said in an interview with Architectural Digest. The actor was inspired to design the home after visiting his Enemy of the State co-star, Gene Hackman's, home in Santa Fe. He fell in love with the home's design so much, he hired the same architect, Stephen Samuelson, to build the Smith family's Calabasas compound.After purchasing a string of plots, workers began constructing the home on the 150-acres of land. To this day, they call it "a work in progress." As they grow and mature, the home "keeps on changing" to fit their needs.In 2013, there were rumors the family had listed the $42 million home for sale, but the reports turned out to be bogus, according to E! Online. After all the work they put into their labor of love, we doubt they'll be ditching it anytime soon. 10. She admits they never agree on anything: One of the reasons they've been going strong for so long is because they never agree on anything, according to Pinkett. The actress told Redbook magazine if she says "black," Smith says "white," but their disagreements are what make them work. "No matter what side of the scale one is on, the other will switch to keep the balance," she revealed. "We crack up about it all the time. We hardly ever agree on anything, and we've learned to really respect that in our relationship."They say opposites attract, and Smith and Pinkett's weird marriage is a true testament to that.

#16. Halelope (Modern Celebrity Couple: George Clooney and Amal Clooney AKA “GAMAL”)

George Clooney + Amal Clooney ❤️

• Portmanteau Name: Gamal   • Full Birth Names: George Timothy Clooney, Amal Alamuddin • Birthdays: George (May 06th, 1961), Amal (Feb. 03rd 1978) • Current Ages as of 2019: George (57), Amal (41) • Zodiac Signs: George (Taurus), Amal (Aquarius) • Total Biorhythm Chemistry % Score: 51% • When They Met: 2013 • How Long They Were Together: 6 years (2013–Present) • Current Relationship Status: Married

History of George and Amal’s Relationship: A Hollywood heartthrob and confirmed bachelor falls for a brilliant, humanitarian lawyer, and eventually, the two create the picture perfect family. It's the sort of love story you'd expect to see in a filmland fairytale, and yet somehow in just five short years it's become the real life romance of Amal and George Clooney. Here's the story of how the dedicated duo met, fell in love, and built a life together. People say that true love finds its way to you, but the adage is rarely as literal as it turned out to be for George and Amal. The couple met at the actor's Lake Como home in July of 2013, when a mutual friend stopped by while en route to Cannes with Amal in tow. In an equally fateful twist, the star's parents were also visiting him at the time, so Amal was introduced to the Clooney family on the same day she met her now husband.George, then 52, had cultivated a reputation as one of Hollywood's most eligible bachelors with a dating history including celebs like Kelly Preston and Stacy Keibler, but there was clearly something special about his connection with the renowned human rights lawyer. “I got a call from my agent who said, 'I met this woman who is coming to your house, who you’re going to marry,'” George said during an appearance on My Next Guest Needs No Introduction with David Letterman. “It really worked out that way.” The two hit it off immediately, corresponding for several weeks before the romance truly blossomed. “She sent some pictures from when she was here, and we were writing each other, emailing, talking, mostly about what was going on in each other’s lives,” he told The Hollywood Reporter. “And over a period of time it became clear we were more than just friends.” The duo's first official date came in October 2013 when George invited Amal, who was living in London, to come visit him at the famed Abbey Road Studios (best known as a recording home for The Beatles) while he supervised the score for his 2014 film TheMonuments Men. "That was a good first date," he told The Hollywood Reporter, adding: "And pretty quickly, things escalated once I was in London." "She'd had a conversation with her parents, who were like, 'What are George's intentions?' And she was saying, 'Take it easy. We've been going out for six months,'" George explained. All the while he was preparing for the big moment. After months of planning—down to a playlist of music to accompany the proposal—George invited Amal to a homecooked dinner on April 28, 2014, hiding the 7-carat engagement ring inside of a lighter box that Amal used to light the candlelit table. "I did all the stuff, got down on my knee and did all the things you're supposed to do," the actor said. "I was waiting for this song, 'Why Shouldn't I?' 'Why shouldn't I take a chance when romance passes by? / Why shouldn't I know of love?' It's a really good song about why can't I be in love? And it played, and she's like, 'Holy shit!' And she just kept staring at the ring, going, 'Oh, my God.' It was 20 minutes of me on my knee, waiting for her to say yes, because she was so shocked." After a short engagement the couple tied the knot in September 2014, just shy of a year after their first date. "We didn't tell anybody else that we were going to do it," Clooney recalled to The Hollywood Reporter, "but eventually somebody figured it out. Oh, my God! Once people got wind of it, it became an event." Surrounded by family (and a few famous friends, including Clooney's long-time collaborator Matt Damon, Cindy Crawford, and fellow celebrity couple John Krasinski and Emily Blunt) the couple wed in a private ceremony at the Aman Canal Grande luxury resort in Venice, Italy. “It had never been part of my DNA,” George said, explaining his stance on fatherhood. “We didn’t plan on it. We never talked about it until after we were married, which is funny. There was an assumption that we didn’t want them. And then, after the wedding, we just felt we’d gotten very lucky, both of us, and we should share whatever good luck we’ve got. It would seem self-centered to just have that belong to us.” When Amal became pregnant in 2016, the overjoyed couple got an additional surprise, in the form of twins. "[The doctor performing the ultrasound] goes, 'Well, there's one.' And I said, 'Great.' And then he goes, 'And there's the second one.' And I was like, 'What?'" Clooney told The Hollywood Reporter. "We just sat there, staring at that piece of paper they give you, and I kept thinking there was a mistake." But there was no mistake; in June of 2017, one month premature, Amal gave birth to twins Ella and Alexander.  Returning to her work representing refugees in September of 2017, Amal has managed to excel at the office and as a mom. "She is sort of this remarkable human being and now mother which is something, I suppose, you should assume she would be wonderful at as well. But, when you see it in person, it makes you feel incredibly proud and also incredibly small," George told Letterman.Coupled with George's creative work and the 2017 sale of his Casamigos tequila brand, the duo remain very busy, but make the time to dedicate to their children, traveling with them to some of the family's favorite spots around the globe. (Source: https://www.townandcountrymag.com/style/a20241776/george-clooney-amal-clooney-love-marriage-story/) 

#17. Halice (Modern Celebrity Couple: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes AKA “TOMKAT”)

Tom Cruise +Katie Holmes ❤️

• Portmanteau Name: TomKat   • Full Birth Names: Thomas Cruise Mapother IV, Katie Noelle Holmes • Birthdays: Tom (Jul. 03rd, 1962), Katie (Dec. 18th, 1978) • Current Ages as of 2019: Tom (56), Katie (40) • Zodiac Signs: Tom (Cancer), Katie (Sagittarius) • Total Biorhythm Chemistry % Score: 60% • When They Met: 2005 • How Long They Were Together: 7 years (2005–2012) • Current Relationship Status: Divorced

History of Tom and Katie’s Relationship: The divorce of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes is either, depending on your perspective, something no one saw coming or something everyone saw coming back in 2005, when Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah Winfrey’s couch to declare his love for Joey Potter and cemented the impression — again, for some — that the whole relationship was just for show. Whether it was a show, a genuinely happy romance or something in between, it seems to be over. So cue up Barbra Streisand’s “The Way We Were” and let’s run through some of the highlights of this celebrity couple’s existence via a segment I’ll call “TomKat: In Memoriam.” April 29, 2005: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes very publicly declare that they are dating just months after Cruise ended his romance with Penelope Cruz and weeks following the end of Holmes’s engagement to Chris Klein. They visually confirm it by engaging in much PDA in Rome. May 23, 2005: On a day that would later inspire a significant exhibit at the Weird Celebrity Interview Hall of Fame, Cruise appears on “The Oprah Winfrey Show”and declares his love for Holmes while jumping on Oprah’s sofa like a crazed kid in the freakiest bouncy castle of all time. (Ironically, Cruise and Holmes would later marry in an actual, non-bouncy castle.) Bafflement — wait, they really are dating? — abounds among the celeb-watching community. Viral video spoofs of the incident are created. Twitter did not yet exist, but if it had it would have exploded in a manner so epic, it would have made the subsequent Chesapeake Bay Bridge scene in “Mission Impossible: III” look like the tiny pop-pop-pop of sparklers. The legend of TomKat is born. No one is sure what to believe. May 26, 2005: Tina Brown is sure what to believe. In her Style column for The Washington Post, she proclaims that the whole thing is an act, one that even her then-14-year-old daughter sees right through. “This would be sweet,” the young Brown tells her mother, “if it wasn’t so fake.” Oct. 5, 2005: In an obvious attempt to make every Cruise fan’s head spin around “Exorcist”-style, Cruise and Holmes announce they are expecting their first child together. Once the shock subsides, the celebrity conspiracy community gets to work on a thousand theories about Holmes’s pregnancy. December, 2005: Cruise and Holmes reportedly buy a sonogram machine for at-home use, giving Cruise critics — and at this point, they are legion — a new reason to say he’s being crazy. May 7, 2006: The Post’s Hank Stuever publicly breaks up with Tom Cruise. Sadly for Hank, there was no pre-nup. April 18, 2006: Suri Cruise arrives in the world via a silent birth, prompting responses of “Oh, I guess that’s nice,” and “How could there not have been noise while she was pushing a personout of her?” and “What the heck does Suri mean?” (For the record, People noted it was Hebrew for princess.) We get our first glimpse of the princess in a Vanity Fair spread in October of that year. She is indeed a beautiful child who clearly has no idea that in a few short years she’ll be the subject of a million blog posts about why she can’t give up her binky and why she’s wearing lip gloss at such a young age. Sept. 11, 2006: TomKat attend a Washington Redskins game with pal Dan Snyder. They both look super-cool and Hollywoody in sunglasses. Apparently no one told them it was a night game. Nov. 18, 2006: The wedding! It happens in a medieval castle in Rome, city of those initial smoochy photos, with Snyder and Jennifer Lopez and Will Smith and many other famous people in attendance. It also yields a wedding photo that looks like a Polaroid from an ‘80s prom (theme: “Take My Breath Away”), a touching poem by former Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly and a lively Celebritology discussion. August of 2008: Katie Holmes is spotted wearing her husband’s jeans, prompting Liz Kelly to write an angry blog-letter requesting that she stop. May 1, 2010: Holmes performs “Whatever Lola Wants” from “Damn Yankees” at a Motion Picture and Television Fund Benefit in L.A., and dance-seduces Cruise onstage. The video is a reminder that almost five years have passed since these two first got together, yet despite expectations that the marriage wouldn’t last, they are still together. June 23, 2010: Tom Cruise comes before the Court of Celebritology, with Liz Kelly acting as prosecutor and Jen Chaney representing the defense. The Celebritology jury sides with the prosecution, but 45% of the readers either agree with the defense, can’t decide or want to declare a mistrial until “Mission: Impossible IV” is released. Nov. 4, 2010: Katie Holmes runs the New York Marathon; Tom and Suri Cruise are there to offer moral support. Mr. Cruise is dressed in classic runner’s wear: a turtleneck and blazer. (Hey, he wasn’t running. He was cold!) Various dates, 2008-2012: Rumors that Holmes is pregnant with the couples’s second child appear in tabloids and celeb blogson numerous occasions but are never substantiated. Rumors that Holmes and Cruise are on the outs are also frequently floated in the tabloid/blogosphere and never substantiated. Feb. 26, 2012: Holmes and Cruise attend the Vanity Fair Oscar bash together and appear to still be quite happily married, at least based on the photos. June 29, 2012: Seven years and 12 days after Cruise proposed to the woman who made him jump on a couch, the TomKat divorce is announced. We are still processing. (Source: https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/celebritology/post/tomkat-in-memoriam-a-timeline-of-the-tom-cruise-and-katie-holmes-love-story/2012/06/29/gJQAfE9ACW_blog.html?noredirect=on&utm_term=.41692814fb11)  Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' romance was the definition of a whirlwind. A mere 18 months after they met, the Hollywood power couple was already married with a child. For just about any couple, that would be moving fast, let alone for two high-profile celebrities. During this fast-paced courtship, Cruise also had two viral gaffes with his bizarre Oprah appearance and tense on-air fight with Matt Lauer live on Today that sparked a renewed public interest in Cruise's involvement with Scientology. Of course, the tabloids intensely focused on Holmes and Cruise's relationship as well, reporting every public outing and scandalous rumor with the same level of breathless detail. As a result, some of the stranger aspects of this star-crossed pairing got lost in the shuffle. While it's apparent in hindsight that this marriage was challenged from the start (we'll get into Holmes' meticulously planned exit strategy a bit later), it only got weirder as it went on. Let's take a look back at some of the strangest moments in TomKat history that everyone just ignored. 1. Paging Dr. Cruise:  Suri Cruise was born on April 18, 2006, seven months before Cruise and Holmes officially tied the knot, so this weird moment technically occurred before the marriage, but it counts, because it involves Cruise performing sonograms on his bride-to-be. That's right, in his interview with Barbara Walters for her Most Fascinating People of 2005 special, Tom revealed that he bought a sonogram machine, which he planned on donating to a hospital when they were done with it. Granted, as of this writing, fetal heartbeat monitors have become fairly commonplace for in-home use, but it's still not a normal part of any pregnancy to be conducting at-home sonograms or ultrasounds. Not to mention, the actor's ties with Scientology had everyone wondering what he was specifically looking for. Did he think he could tell if his child would be the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard? Who knows, but doctors weren't exactly fans of Cruise's ultrasound tech tourism, citing concerns over the misinterpretation of a problem as well as "that the fetus could be exposed to a greater intensity of sound waves than recommended." 2. Was this a magazine interview or a middle school dance?:  In an odd interview with W, which read more like a passage about a crush from her teenage diary, Holmes passionately answered questions about her new relationship, insisting, "Tom and I will always be in our honeymoon phase." In hindsight, that statement carries significant irony, since the pair divorced, but perhaps even odder than Holmes' school-girl glee was in the presence of Jessica Rodriguez during the interview. Described by W as Holmes' "Scientology chaperone," Rodriguez sat quietly for most of the questioning, until reporter Robert Haskell finally got to the good stuff and asked Holmes about the public's skepticism of the couple's overt passion, as well as rumors that Scientology had been arranging matches for Cruise prior to their meeting. Rodriguez reportedly got out of her chair to deliver this stock response: "The truth is, we don't read that stuff because it's just rude," before steering the conversation right back to how very much and totally for real in love TomKat was. When pressed by Haskell about her apparent supervisory role, Rodriguez said, "Oh, no, we're just best friends…" The entire interview came off with the air of a politician politely spinning every topic back on message, and to top it off, ended with the delivery of a well-timed gift by Cruise — a Chanel diamond necklace for Holmes to open right in front of the reporter. Subtle, no? 3. The massive prenuptial agreement: With all the secrecy surrounding the Church of Scientology, it's no surprise that an epic prenuptial agreement would be put in place no matter who Cruise married. What is surprising is that Holmes father, who is a lawyer, put it together. Though that's pretty much all that's really known about the agreement, many outlets speculated on the specifics. Vanity Fair claimed that it "filled five bankers boxes." The Mirror reported that Holmes negotiated a sum of just over $50 million for herself and Suri. Meanwhile, TMZ said that "sources familiar with documents filed with the court," told them that the quickie settlement — which was arranged in just 11 days — didn't secure any kind of "lump sum" payment for the actress. Instead, Holmes reportedly received "$400,000 a year in child support," as well as coverage for all of "Suri's expenses, including medical, dental, insurance, education, college and extracurricular costs." Some allege Holmes' father knew the marriage wouldn't last, so instead of creating the potential for a nasty, protracted divorce battle, he offered terms so agreeable that Cruise would easily let Holmes walk away, while at the same time making sure his then-unborn granddaughter was taken care of. It's really not a bad deal when you think about it, because if TMZ was right, Holmes will essentially receive the same income as the president of the United States until Suri's 18th birthday. 4. Their big, fat, slightly creepy wedding: If you're the kind of guy who thinks a suitable first date is sushi on your private plane, and then a few weeks later you're jumping on Oprah's couch declaring your love, then when it comes time for a wedding, it's going to be ridiculous. The lavish affair was held in a 15th century Italian castle, because we guess all the fire halls were booked up, but that's just the beginning. According to People, on top of the event's three-day itinerary, the wedding also included a five-tiered cake the size of Cruise's entire body; Holmes donning a veil that reportedly took 70 hours to create; and a fireworks display that made a 4th of July celebration look like a wet sparkler.Of course, the illustrious nuptials were not without controversy. In actress Leah Remini's memoir (via E! News), which is essentially a scathing takedown of her time with Scientology, she described being a guest at TomKat's wedding, including one particularly strange anecdote about Suri's caretakers. Remini claimed that she walked into the bathroom and saw "three women, including Tom's sister and his assistant," looking at baby Suri, "who was lying on the tile floor." Unsure of what was going on, Remini was shocked to hear the women saying, 'Suri! Suri!' in a tone that sounded like they were telling an adult to get her s**t together." Geez, we get that being the flower girl is a big responsibility, but this seems like a bit much. 5. Their PDA was not okay: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were just a few months into their relationship, but already engaged, when they attended his War of the Worlds premiere in 2005. That meant two things. First, there would be worldwide red carpet exposure. Second, this was a prime opportunity to crank up the PDA. Tomkat did not disappoint. According to MTV News, the elated couple made sure to give the press great angles each time they kissed, even repeating their smooches so photographers could get better shots. The amorous duo reportedly saved its biggest move for the fans —  the one in which Cruise dipped Holmes and planted one on her like he was a sailor returning from war instead of a 42-year-old actor making out with his 25-year-old fiancée — but the paparazzi certainly caught it too. Though their behavior was probably meant to prove to skeptics that their romance was the real deal, it looked more like watching your dad excitedly suck face with your new stepmom who was a few years ahead of you in high school. Genuine? Who knows. Awkward? Definitely. 6. Katie's creepy serenade: While we're on the topic of creepy displays of affection, we have to bring up Holmes' 2010 serenade of Cruise during a benefit show for the Motion Picture and Television Fund. Singing "Whatever Lola Wants," Holmes slinked around the stage while Cruise pretended to reject her advances. Not only was Holmes' vocal performance a little shaky, but the choreography screamed high school production. The awkward scene felt less like the actual play and more like watching the star of the show force her little brother to help her rehearse. Mercifully, this was the only time they publicly performed a song-and-dance routine, although now that we think about it, a remake of Dirty Dancing where they could have reversed the lift at the end so that Holmes would have hoisted little Cruise over her head would have been pretty spectacular. 7. Katie's Mission Impossible-style divorce: Before we get into Katie's almost cinematic exit from the marriage, we have to point out the strange coincidence that all three of Cruise's marriages fell apart when his wives were 33 years old. According to Perez Hilton (via the New York Daily News), that number is significant because the "Hubbard Association of Scientologists, was founded in Phoenix, Ariz., which lies on the 33rd parallel." We'll probably never know if there's any truth to that theory, unless we sign our own billion-year contract with the church. What we do know is that the way Holmes expertly slipped away from Xenu's star pupil was fascinating.When most couples get divorced, it doesn't involve burner phones or secret meetings with three law firms in three states, but Holmes split from Scientology's golden child, so it could have gone haywire in many ways. In a move presumably designed to skirt a landslide of misinformation that the notoriously litigious church could have leaked to the press during drawn-out divorce proceedings, Holmes allegedly made sure everything happened fast. The aforementioned prenup was in place, leaving no room for alimony or child support negotiations, and with Holmes making no public statements against Cruise or Scientology, there was nothing left to fight over. That's probably why it only took 11 days in 2012 to negotiate the settlement, which is unheard of in most normal divorce proceedings, let alone a Hollywood uncoupling. Seriously, if their divorce was a chess match, Holmes played it with the mechanical perfection of Deep Blue. 8. If Tom couldn't have her, no one could ... for five years: Of all of the weird things everyone just ignored about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' marriage, perhaps the strangest was a rigid restriction Holmes inexplicably agreed to. According a source speaking to Radar Online, "Katie signed a clause in her quickie divorce settlement that prevents her from embarrassing Tom in various ways, like talking about him or Scientology, or publicly dating another man for five years after the divorce." Wait, what was that last part? "She's allowed to date, but she cannot do so in a public fashion, and she's not supposed to let any boyfriend near [Suri]," the source elaborated. If that's true, it's an absolutely bonkers arrangement, and it really speaks to how desperate Holmes may have been to end the marriage.This supposed "dating ban" also led to a variety of shady situations in which Holmes and her boyfriend, Jamie Foxx, denied their relationship (which allegedly started in 2013) for years, despite getting caught in a variety of eyebrow-raising romantic situations, such as a particularly steamy canoodling session in a recording studio. As of this writing, neither Foxx nor Holmes have confirmed their relationship, although they did deny a tabloid report about their breakup and were photographed strolling hand-in-hand on the beach in Malibu. The good news? Those five years have come and gone, so we're presuming Holmes and Foxx can take their rumored relationship to the next level if they so choose. (Source: https://www.nickiswift.com/5817/strangest-moments-tom-cruise-katie-holmes-marriage/)

#18. Fralice (Modern Celebrity Couple: Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen AKA “BRADY BUNDCH”)

Tom Brady +Gisele Bundchen ❤️

• Portmanteau Name: Brady Bundsch • Full Birth Names: Thomas Edward Patrick “Tom” Brad Jr., Gisele Caroline Bundchen • Birthdays: Tom (Aug. 03rd, 1977), Gisele (Jul. 20th, 1980) • Current Ages as of 2019: Tom (41), Gisele (38) • Zodiac Signs: Tom (Leo), Gisele (Cancer) • Total Biorhythm Chemistry % Score: 74% • When They Met: 2006 • How Long They Were Together: 12 years (2007–Present) • Current Relationship Status: Married

History of Tom and Gisele’s Relationship: Supermodel Gisele Bündchen and five-time Super Bowl champion Tom Brady have become one of the world's most well-known couples.Their relationship spans over a decade and the pair have two children together. On their 10-year wedding anniversary, Brady shared an intimate photo of the pair on their wedding day and called Bündchen his "rock," but added that the marriage "has not been easy."We went back in time to give an overview of their love story. Although Brady was in a relationship when he first met Bündchen, both seemed to know their connection was something special. Shortly after meeting, Brady broke up with his then-girlfriend, actress Bridget Moynahan. Meanwhile, for Bündchen, she said she knew it was love at first sight."I knew right way — the first time I saw him," she told Vanity Fair. "We met through a friend. The moment I saw him, he smiled and I was like, 'That is the most beautiful, charismatic smile I've ever seen!' We sat and talked for three hours. I had to go home for Christmas, but I didn't want to leave. You know that feeling of, like, you can't get enough? From the first day we met, we've never spent one day without speaking to each other." While the couple had been dating for about a month, celebrity magazines didn't recognize the couple officially until January 2007. Moynahan announced she was pregnant with the quarterback's son in February 2007. At the time, Brady and Bündchen had been dating for two months, and the supermodel later said she considered breaking up with the football star after the pregnancy announcement."It was a challenging thing because here I am, you know, thinking, I'm dating this guy, we met, and we started dating and everything is great and then this happens," Bündchen told CBS This Morning, according to People magazine. "So, then I felt like I didn't know what to do. It was kind of one of those moments of like, 'Do I just run away?'" On August 22, 2007, the exes welcomed their son John Edward Thomas Moynahan into the world. After a little over two years together, Brady proposed to Bündchen. Although multiple publications claimed the footballer proposed on a private plane, Bündchen told Voguethat he had tricked her into thinking her house was flooded, so she rushed home to find a romantic scene set with candles and rose petals."When he proposed to me, he made up this whole story how my apartment was flooding, and I ran over to fix the situation," Bündchen told Vogue. "When I got there, the whole apartment had candles and rose petals everywhere, and then he went down on his knees to propose, and I'm like, 'get up!' because he just had surgery and had three staph infections. And I was like 'What are you doing?' He's like, 'I gotta go on my knees,' and I'm like, 'No, no, no! Get up, please!'" On February 26, 2009, Brady and Bündchen got married in a private ceremony in Santa Monica, California. Brady told GQ magazine later that year that the wedding took 10 days to plan and was an intimate occasion that included steak, champagne, and cake. One month after getting married in Los Angeles, Brady and Bündchen invited extended family to join them in Costa Ricafor another intimate ceremony, according to People magazine. On December 8, 2009, Bündchen gave birth to the couple's first child together, Benjamin Rein. Bündchen later revealed that she delivered her son in the bathtub of their penthouse apartment in Boston. On December 5, 2012, Brady and Bündchen welcomed their second child, a girl named Vivian Lake. Bündchen didn't announce her second pregnancy until after having the baby. In 2015, rumors swirled that the famous couple had been having marital issues and planned on divorcing. Brady quickly put the gossip to rest by addressing them in a radio interview with WEEI, stating, "We're in a great place. … There's no bigger supporter I have than her." After the "Deflategate" scandal of 2015, Brady was suspended for four games in the 2016 NFL season. Showing support for her husband, Bündchen Instagrammed a photo of her and her husband playing catch, with the caption "Don't worry guys. I will keep him ready." The Patriots were defeated in the 2018 Superbowl and Bündchen reportedly had to comfort their kids after the loss."Just this time. Daddy won five times. They never won before," she reportedly told their daughter, according to USA Today. "You have to let someone else win sometimes. We have to share. Sharing is caring.''Brady later confirmed that his kids were upset but said he used it as a way to teach them a life lesson. Though he made clear he wants to continue playing, Brady told Oprah Winfrey that Bündchen has asked him what "more" he wants from his NFL career."I talk about it with my wife all the time. You can ask her tonight," Brady said. "She'll tell you, like, 'I told him, you know, what more do you want?'" During the press tour for her book "Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life," Bündchen revealed how hard she found being a mother at first, saying she felt guilty leaving her kids for work."When I became a mom, I kind of lost myself. It was like a part of me died," she told People magazine. "I'd been this very independent person. It was all about me. But now I had this little being, and I suddenly felt l couldn't do other things and that was very hard for me. All I ever wanted was to be a mom, but when you're actually experiencing that, it's a shock.""I thought what a terrible mother I was for leaving my child even for like a day," she added.She added that she was also felt guilty when she brought her kids along. "Like, 'Here we are on a plane and the baby is crying.'" The 41-year-old quarterback for the New England Patriots shared an intimate photo from the couple's wedding day on his Instagram. He expressed his love for Bündchen but also highlighted the fact that not everything about their relationship has been simple."Ten years ago, I didn't realize how much I could love you and the family we created together," he wrote. "My heart is so full and I am so blessed! I know our journey has not been easy, but the challenges we have overcome have made our bond stronger and our love grow deeper."Bündchen also shared a similar photo on her Instagram."I can't believe it's already been 10 years since we've chosen to walk this life together... and what incredible 10 years we've had," the supermodel wrote. "There is nothing that I love more in this world than you and our family. Thank you for being on this journey with me and for doing the work that it takes to make it so special. May we continue growing together, walking side by side supporting and loving one another for many many years to come." (Source: https://www.thisisinsider.com/gisele-bundchen-and-tom-brady-relationship-timeline-2018-11#february-26-2019-brady-shared-an-intimate-photo-from-their-wedding-and-talked-about-how-marriage-isnt-always-easy-15) They may be one of Hollywood's super couples, but according to the tabloids, Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen's marriage may be a whole lot wackier than it appears on the surface. From an awkward beginning to rigid diets, here are some strange facts that will make you feel less mad about not being married to an NFL quarterback or a Brazilian model. 1. Their relationship got off to a very awkward start: In mid-December 2006, Brady and his girlfriend of three years, actress Bridget Moynahan, announced they had broken up. The following month, People magazine linked Brady to Victoria's Secret Angel Bündchen, with sources claiming they had "started dating right before Christmas."If that wasn't awkward-enough timing, People reported in February 2007 that Moynahan was pregnant with Brady's child. The news threw a wrench into Brady and Bündchen's hot-and-heavy new romance. "It was a challenging thing because here I am, thinking I'm dating this guy, you know we met, we started dating and everything was great, and this happens," Bündchen told CBS This Morning in 2015. "I felt like I did not know what to do. It was one of those moments of like, do I just run away?"Moynahan and Brady welcomed a son, Jack, in August 2007. Bündchen, obviously, stuck around, a decision for which she is now very grateful. "I couldn't have asked for a sweeter bonus child." 2. Brady was involved in Ben Affleck's nanny scandal: One of the most bizarre twists in the saga of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner's divorce came in July 2015 when Us Weekly alleged that Affleck had been hooking up with the couple's nanny, Christine Ouzounian. Affleck quickly denied the reports, but that did little to stop the gossip rags from posting some salacious reports. Take, for example, the time Page Six reported that Ouzounian took a private jet to Las Vegas with Affleck and none other than the New England Patriots star player. To make matters worse, Page Six even obtained a photo of Ouzounian wearing Brady's Super Bowl rings on the plane.A subsequent report from Page Six downplayed the events on the plane, claiming they were on their way to a charity event with others. Still, need we say it again? Awkward! 3. 'Deflategate' affected their marriage: The nanny scandal reportedly happened during a trying time for Brady and Bündchen, who were in the midst of dealing with the fallout from Brady's "Deflategate" scandal. In fact, the year was allegedly so tumultuous for them, Bündchen threatened divorce. "Tom thinks it's only a threat," a source told Us Weekly. "But this is definitely a rough patch."Bündchen shot down the reports, telling a local Boston radio station that that they were in a "great place." She later discussed the toll the scandal took on their relationship with CBS This Morning, admitting, "I think we have been through a few tough times together. I think that's when you know who are your friends and who loves you." She added, "I think no matter how challenging it was we've always been supportive of one another and I think that's the most important thing you can have in life. You know, a support system and love." 4. Do they support Donald Trump?: Both during and after his successful bid for the White House, President Donald Trump boasted on numerous occasions about his alleged friendship with Brady. "Tom Brady, great guy, great friend of mine, great, great champion, unbelievable winner," Trump told a crowd in November 2016, according to Us Weekly. "He called today and he said, 'Donald, I support you, you're my friend, and I voted for you.'" The New York Times also quoted Trump calling Brady, "a really good friend of mine."Given that we now live in a world where "alternative facts" are a thing, many have been unable to figure out whether Trump's words are legit or just an exaggeration. Brady's silence on the matter certainly hasn't helped clear anything up.The truth to their alleged friendship may lie in Bündchen. Asked by a fan on Instagram if she and her husband support Trump, Bündchen emphatically replied, "NO!" Then, in January 2017, amid growing concerns over Trump's controversial executive order on immigration, she posted a message to Instagram about the importance of diversity in the world. "The beauty of the human race is in its diversity," she said. "We are all connected and we are stronger when we come together. Only ego, beliefs and fears separate us." Well, guess we know where she stands, at least. 5. Their diet is insane: The New York Post published a wild rundown of Brady and Bündchen's supposed diet. According to the report, Brady told Sports Illustrated that his diet is "80 percent alkaline and 20 percent acidic." More specifically, he eats "80 percent vegetables and whole grains, and 20 percent fish" and gets his fat intake from "extra virgin olive oil on raw foods, and coconut oil on cooked foods," according to a summary of a report from Boston.com. That report also claimed Brady avoids "sugar, white flour or nightshade fruits and vegetables," as well as coffee, MSG, and dairy. The Post goes on to claim that Brady "limits himself to the occasional banana, blended in a smoothie" and, quoting New York magazine, added that he has never touched a strawberry but loves cacao avocado ice cream for dessert. Bündchen reportedly follows the same diet.Although Brady claims his menu will help him play football longer, a number of health expert who spoke to the Post cast doubts on its validity, with one dietitian referring to parts of the meal plan as "sketchy." In other words: good luck to anyone who has to attend one of their dinner parties. 6. Gisele is strict about Halloween candy: If you thought Brady and Bündchen's aforementioned diet was a headache, just wait until you hear about her approach to Halloween candy. "We don't really have that a kind of sugar in our house," she told People in November 2016. "I let them try one [piece], but they really only had one bite and then they didn't want it anymore. So I told them if they didn't like it I was going to give it away to other kids and they actually let me give their candy away.""It's a little different kind of sweets, so they're not used to it," she added. "I said to them, 'You know, there are so many kids that don't get candy and you guys got so many, some kids don't even get one! And they're like, 'Oh mom, okay you can give it to them if they don't get any.'"Happy Halloween? 7. Brady will act like a kid to get Bündchen's attention: As a four-time Super Bowl champion, one would assume Brady is a consummate professional; a mature guy who knows how to adult. Well, think again. Speaking to Man of the World magazine in 2014, Brady admitted he can be quite needy and bratty when it comes to getting attention from his wife. "I like attention from her, so when I'm not getting it, I let her know in immature ways, like a young, immature child would," he said (via Page Six). "You throw fits…you pout and you whine until you get what you want.""She's on to me… " he added. "So now I have to learn new tricks." Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. 8. Bodyguards at their wedding fired gunshots at paparazzi: According to the New York Post, two bodyguards hired for Brady and Bündchen's 2009 wedding in Costa Rica got slapped with 5-year prison sentences after allegedly firing gunshots at paparazzi covering the nuptials. The report said the two photographers involved, who allegedly had clearance to take photos from the property's owner, were not hit by any of the bullets, which were fired from roughly 300 feet away. What did get hit were the front and rear windows of the photographers' SUV. In addition to the prison sentence, the bodyguards were each ordered to pay a $10,000 fine, according to the Post. (Source: https://www.nickiswift.com/40044/strange-things-gisele-toms-marriage/)

#19. Clinelope (Modern Celebrity Couple: Kurt Cobain & Courtney Love AKA “KURTNEY”)

Kurt Cobain + Courtney Love ❤️

• Portmanteau Name: Kurtney • Full Birth Names: Kurt Donald Cobain, Courtney Michelle Love • Birthdays: Kurt (Feb. 20th, 1967), Courtney (Jul. 09th, 1964) • Current Ages as of 2019: Kurt (52 if still alive), Courtney (54) • Zodiac Signs: Kurt (Pisces), Courtney (Cancer) • Total Biorhythm Chemistry % Score: 70% • When They Met: 1990 • How Long They Were Together: 4 years (1990–1994) • Current Relationship Status: Married until Kurt’s death

History of Kurt and Courtney’s Relationship: It seems like there's a new Hollywood love story everyday. And although love is a beautiful thing, it rarely stays that way in the land of the stars. The celebrities in Hollywood just can't seem to get it together when it comes to love. Most relationships end in divorce, tragedy, drama or a combination of the three. As entertaining as it might be to some, every now and then celebrity relationships take an awful turn for the worst, like Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love's not-so-happy ending. Let's go back to where it all started. Anyone who knows music will know who Kurt Cobain was; he was the lead singer, guitarist and songwriter of the legendary rock band, Nirvana. He met Courtney Love, a musician, actress and artist, in 1990, a year before Nirvana recorded the best album. Kurt, 23 at the time and Courtney, 26, kept bumping into each other until she gave him her number. He called her that night, pretending that all he wanted was to find out where she got the cough syrup- a popular intoxicant at the time- that she gave him earlier that day.  Although Courtney was in a relationship with another rocker at the time, Billy Corgan from the Smashing Pumpkins, she still pursued things with Kurt. The two officially started dating in the fall of 1991 and were married a few months later in 1992. Courtney was already pregnant when they exchanged vows, and their only child was born six months later. The couple, already subject to media scrutiny, came under fire when Courtney was "misquoted" in a Vanity Fair article, saying that she used cocaine early on in her pregnancy, because she wasn't aware that she was expecting a child. After Frances Bean Cobain was born, she was removed from her parents custody for four weeks, a result of the fallout from the article. Courtney and Kurt were tested regularly for drug use until they regained custody of their daughter. In March 1994, Kurt was diagnosed with bronchitis and laryngitis while on tour in Germany. Going to Rome for treatment, he met up with Courtney the next day. The following morning, Courtney woke up to find Kurt passed out from an overdose on their bed. Courtney later said that that was Kurt's first suicide attempt. Their relationship became increasingly strained when Kurt began behaving strangely. After returning home, things got increasingly disturbing: 1. March 1994, Kurt locked himself into a room with a firearm which Courtney believed he was going to use to take his life. When the police arrived, Kurt stated that he was simply hiding from his wife. 2. April, 1994, After admitting himself into a rehab facility, because Courtney and his friends staged an intervention (where he seemed to be making progress) he broke out and flew to Seattle. 3. April, 1994, The following days, he was spotted around the Seattle area, but didn't try to contact his family. Courtney hired an investigator to locate him. Kurt's body was found on April 8th 1994 by his electrician who came to install a security system. A gun was found pointed at Kurt's chin, along with a suicide note. His body was filled with a combination of drugs, including heroin.After his death, Courtney said that a friend told her that Kurt would ruin her life. She said that she simply didn't care, she loved him with all her heart. (Source: https://groovyhistory.com/reliving-the-strange-love-mystery-of-kurt-cobain-and-courtney-love) “Courtney and Kurt are the nineties, much more talented version of Sid and Nancy,” a record executive once noted. “[Courtney's] going to be famous and [Kurt] already is, but unless something happens, they’re going to self-destruct. I know they’re both going to be big stars. I just don’t want to be a part of it.”That was a quote taken straight from the infamous 1992 Vanity Fair story on Courtney Love, written by Lynn Hirschberg, who would go on to depict the Hole frontwoman as an obnoxious, rabble-rousing, image-obsessed opportunist who reveled in being the newly anointed Mrs. Cobain. It was just a year before the bombshell article that Love and Cobain crossed paths (There are varying reports that they briefly met in 1989 and 1990, but were officially reacquainted in 1991). Nirvana was at its peak, and Cobain was confused and depressed with the meteoric fame that came with his music. When Love re-entered his sphere, she had allegedly pursued him with dogged determination and according to numerous sources, was the one who introduced him to heroin. It was just a year before the bombshell article that Love and Cobain crossed paths (There are varying reports that they briefly met in 1989 and 1990, but were officially reacquainted in 1991). Nirvana was at its peak, and Cobain was confused and depressed with the meteoric fame that came with his music. When Love re-entered his sphere, she had allegedly pursued him with dogged determination and according to numerous sources, was the one who introduced him to heroin. Mirroring Cobain's life, their courtship was intense and brief. After four months of dating, Love was already pregnant with their daughter when they decided to wed in Honolulu, Hawaii on February 24, 1992. The bride wore a dress previously owned by Hollywood actress Frances Farmer, while Cobain wore green flannel pajamas.After the wedding, Cobain went into a funk. Despite Nirvana's soaring popularity, the frontman had no desire to tour and further retreated into himself.“We went on a binge,” Love confessed to Vanity Fair in 1992. “We did a lot of drugs. We got pills and then we went down to Alphabet City and Kurt wore a hat, I wore a hat, and we copped some dope. Then we got high and went to SNL. After that, I did heroin for a couple of months.”In 2015 Love, who at the time was promoting Montage of Heck, a biopic of Cobain, would later add: "He wanted to stay in the apartment and do heroin and paint and play his guitar. That's what he wanted to do." But interlaced among the drug-fueled binges were moments of laughter and sincere affection. In never-before-seen video footage from Montage of Heck, Cobain is seen joking with Love in the bathroom, while another moment captures Love teasingly climbing on Cobain's back while singing a tune. The couple also made intermittent attempts at getting clean. In March 1992 they enrolled in separate detox programs but within days, they would check out and dive back into their addictions. (In Vanity Fair, friends told the publication that Love did heroin while pregnant.) By the time their daughter, Frances Bean, was born that August, Cobain had briefly considered quitting the band so he could focus on fatherhood. But he didn't. And despite his good intentions, he couldn't quit his drug habits, either.In additional footage revealed in the film, Cobain's descent into self-destruction becomes more evident. In one scene, he suddenly walks out of Frances' first birthday party. In another, he's nodding off while she's getting her first haircut. "Kurt, you don't want your daughter to see you behaving like this, on drugs," Love screams off camera. "I'm not on drugs!" Cobain claims. "I'm tired." Despite their love for their daughter, the couple's marriage was also unraveling, exacerbated by their drug use. Love would later admit that the reason Cobain attempted suicide in Rome in early March 1994 was because she was considering having an affair. "He must have been psychic or something," she told TVGuide.com. "I almost did one time, and he knew it. ... I have no idea how he knew it. The plan didn't ever go anywhere. Nothing happened, but... the response to it was he took 67 Rohypnols and ended up in a coma because I thought about cheating on him. I mean, f-ck."But Cobain's problems weren't just with Love – he was never able to quell the inner demons that stemmed from his lonely youth nor could he embrace his newfound celebrity, which he felt delegitimized his music. His world was caving in on him, and he couldn't take the pressure.Isolated and inconsolable and under the tight grip of addiction, Cobain killed himself by a gunshot wound to the head at his Seattle home on April 5, 1994. He was 27.“He is considered to be the rock star who didn’t want fame, the weak pathetic guy who was taken over by this controlling female, and yadda yadda," Love told Loudwire in 2015. "It kind of f--ked me up... He’s a hard act to follow. I love him and I always will.”  (Source: https://www.biography.com/news/kurt-cobain-courtney-love-relationship)

#20. Fredary (Modern Celebrity Couple: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner AKA “GARFLECK”)

Ben Affleck + Jennifer Garner ❤️

• Portmanteau Name: Garfleck • Full Birth Names: Benjamin Geza “Ben” Affleck, Jennifer Anne Garner  • Birthdays: Ben (Aug. 15th, 1972), Jennifer (Apr. 17th, 1972) • Current Ages as of 2019: Ben (46), Courtney (47) • Zodiac Signs: Ben (Leo), Jennifer (Aries) • Total Biorhythm Chemistry % Score: 60% • When They Met: 2000 • How Long They Were Together: 4 years (2002–1994) • Current Relationship Status: Married until Kurt’s death

History of Ben and Jennifer’s Relationship: Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck - one of Hollywood's most famous couples - recently made headlines again when People reported they are calling off their divorce, first announced in June 2015. TMZ has since reported that Bennifer's divorce plans have not changed, but still, hope springs eternal. Below, a definitive timeline of Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck's perfectly imperfect relationship.Summer 2000: Ben Affleck meets Jennifer Garner on the set of Pearl Harbor. The movie flopped with critics but it created the foundation for a modern Hollywood romance. At the time, Jennifer was married to fellow actor Scott Foley. December 2001 to March 2002: Ben films the notoriously bad Gigli with Jennifer Lopez. The unlikely pair fall in love and begin dating.Summer 2002: Ben and Jennifer Garner develop a relationship on the set of Daredevil but stay with their partners. Ben later discusses the courtship in a Playboy interview. “We met on Pearl Harbor, which people hate, but we fell in love on Daredevil," he says. "By the way, she won most of the fights in the movie, which was a pretty good predictor of what would happen down the road - my wife, holding swords and beating the living shit out of me.” Fall 2002: Ben proposes to J.Lo with a 6.1-carat pink diamond from Harry Winston. J.Lo spilled on the proposal during an interview with Diane Sawyer, saying, "I had cried a lot over sadness over the years. And for the first time in my life, I cried incredible purging tears of happiness. January 2003: Ben and Jennifer Garner appear on Dinner for Five, and it’s clear she’s head-over-heels in love with him. Ben is still engaged to Jennifer Lopez, which explains why he doesn't really respond to Jennifer Garner's flirtation. March 2003: Jennifer Garner announces her separation from Scott Foley. Scott later says in an interview with TV Guide that “nobody else was involved” in their split and that stardom was to blame for the breakup. May 2003: Garner files for divorce from Scott Foley, citing irreconcilable differences. She keeps busy between filming Alias and fan favorite 13 Going on 30. January 2004: Ben and J.Lo call off their engagement. Jennifer Lopez later wrote about the breakup in her 2014 memoir True Love, saying, "It felt like my heart had been torn out of my chest."Oct. 23, 2004: Ben and Jennifer Garner make their first public appearance as a couple at game one of the World Series (featuring the Boston Red Sox, Ben's favorite team). To any outsider it was clear - the stars were in love. Oct. 24, 2004: The couple makes another appearance at game two of the World Series. April 17, 2005: Ben proposes to Jennifer Garner after her 33rd birthday party with a 4.5-carat ring from Harry Winston (the guy loves Harry Winston). June 29, 2005: The pair marry in a private ceremony in Turks and Caicos. Jennifer is four months pregnant with their first child.  Oct. 1, 2005: The couple returns to Fenway Park for another Red Sox game, where Jennifer shows off her baby bump. Dec. 1, 2005: Jennifer gives birth to the couple's first daughter, Violet. May 24, 2006: Jennifer visits Ben on the set of Gone Baby Gone in Boston, and they appear in love as ever. Jan. 5, 2007: The power couple hits the red carpet for the Golden Globes. Ben is nominated for Best Supporting Actor for his role in Hollywoodland. Jan. 25, 2008: Jennifer jokes about Ben being a homebody in The Independent. "I'll promise you one thing: he is not boring," she says. "You can't get him to go out somewhere, but at least you can have a good conversation with him. Just as long as you're willing not to leave the couch."Aug. 2, 2008: The couple are caught leaving a Miami Beach restaurant as Jennifer shows off a second baby bump.Jan. 6, 2009: The couple’s second daughter, Seraphina Rose, is born. Fall 2009: Rumors circulate that Ben hit on Blake Lively while filming The Town. Blake never acknowledges the rumors but tells Just Jared that Ben was a "terrific director." January 2010: Jennifer tells Parade about her relationship with Ben. “Ben is sexy and kind, but he’s also a riot," she says. "We can be very goofy together.” She also says that they steal time together to be romantic: “You steal a date, you steal a kiss, you steal a whisper. You sit next to each other on the couch with computers on your laps. After the kids are asleep you … well, you know. Whatever it is. You slip away for a night, which we’ve only just now done for the first time.” October 2010: Ben talks about his family on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. “I have three women in the house. I get to be wrong three times a day,” he says, adding, “I am madly in love. I have the best family.” December 2011: Jennifer tells InStyle that she would do anything for Ben. “We both know we couldn’t do what we do without each other," she says. "Ben always says, ‘If you love it, we can make it happen.’ He knows when to swoop in with the gesture. He’s sweet that way. Honestly, I would do anything for that man, because I know it’s not taken for granted." Feb. 27, 2012: Jennifer gives birth to the duo's third child, a son named Samuel. September 2012: Ben tells the Toronto Sun that he’s daunted by Jennifer's kindness. “Believe me, i’m daunted by it every day,” he says. “She does have a fundamental kindness and empathy in her that I think is rare, and incredibly appealing and wonderful ... And it’s one of the things I really love about her.” October 2012: Ben again talks about how kind and wonderful his wife is for a cover story in The Hollywood Reporter. "She truly is kind," he says. "She means no one any harm. She doesn't have ill will for any person ... It's one of those things where it becomes almost aggravating at times. Every time I go, 'Fuck him!' I see in her face that she just thinks that's petty and small." December 2012: The famous couple is spotted at Build-a-Bear, celebrating Violet’s seventh birthday. January 2013: Ben accepts the Golden Globe for Best Director for his work on Argo. He gushes to a proud Jennifer in the audience, saying, “I adore you, I love you,” and, “You’re my everything.” March 2013: Argo wins Best Picture at the Oscars, and Ben again speaks about his marriage, thanking Jennifer for working on it with him. “It’s good,” he says. “It is work, but it’s the best kind of work.” May 2013: Ben hosts Saturday Night Live for the fifth time, and Jennifer joins him onstage for his monologue. The two joke about Ben’s awkward Oscars speech where he called their marriage “work,” and Jennifer says he should have called it a “gift” instead. August 2014: Ben and Jen do the ALS ice bucket challenge. He says she looks good in a wet T-shirt before pushing her into a pool. October 2014: Jennifer appears on the Ellen DeGeneres Show and jokes about Ben’s full-frontal nudity in Gone Girl. “I just try to consider myself a charitable person, and I wanted to give back,” she says about the entire world seeing her husband’s penis. “You give me so much, I wanted to give something back to all of you." October 2014: Jennifer talks about her husband’s hot bod again on Live With Kelly & Michael. Ben bulked up for his role in Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, and Jen was a fan. “You know, he has put on 30 pounds of muscle and he's 8 percent body fat. He looks pretty good,” she says. “It feels like I'm having an affair. But I don't mind, I'm not complaining!” November 2014: Jennifer tells Elle that Ben has always encouraged her to pursue her career no matter what. "My husband is always the one saying to me, ‘You have to work, you have to work. This is part of who you are. We’ll figure it out,'" she says. “That's powerful, when your partner has that serious mantra." June 27, 2015: Christine Ouzounian, the couple's nanny, leaves with Ben from a family vacation in Bahamas to go to a charity poker event in Las Vegas with Ben and Tom Brady. She sends friends the now-infamous photo of herself wearing the Patriots quarterback's Super Bowl rings. June 30, 2015: The world is shocked when Jennifer and Ben announce their split after 10 years of marriage (basically an eternity in Hollywood). July 29, 2015: Rumors swirl that Ben cheated on Jennifer with Christine, who was fired sometime in the midst of their separation. July 30, 2015: News breaks that Christine purposefully tipped off the paparazzi, so she and Ben would be seen together. November 2015: Jen is spotted spending time with Ben’s mom and daughter Violet, despite her separation from Ben. March 1, 2016: Jennifer gets extremely candid about the demise of her relationship in an interview with Vanity Fair. She also dismisses the rumors of Ben's affair with Christine, saying, “We had been separated for months before I ever heard about the nanny. She had nothing to do with our decision to divorce. She was not a part of the equation. Bad judgment? Yes. It’s not great for your kids for [a nanny] to disappear from their lives.” She also says, “It was a real marriage. It wasn’t for the cameras. And it was a huge priority for me to stay in it. And that did not work.” March 14, 2016: Ben addresses the comments Jen made in Vanity Fair in an interview with the New York Times. “Jen’s great," he says. "She’s a great person. We’re on great terms. I just saw her this morning, so that’s the reality that I live in. She felt like she wanted to discuss it and get it out there and get it over with, so she could say, ‘Look, I already talked about it - I don’t want to do it again.’" March 16, 2016: Jen appears on the TODAY show and assures fans they’re all doing fine. "We're doing really well," she says. "The kids are great. They'll be getting up in the morning and going to school soon, and Ben is there and he'll be taking them. We will make it work." March 16, 2016: That same day, Ben appears on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. When asked about the divorce, he responds, “We’re good friends and we’re doing our best and our kids are fabulous.” March 25, 2016: Ben appears on CBS This Morning, saying, “Life doesn't always turn out exactly the way you want. We're doing our very best and we're putting our kids first. That's how we're focusing on our day-to-day lives. And we don't know what the future's going to hold. Each step that we take is one where we prioritize our children and everything else comes second. She's just so good at doing that and sets such a good example. And that's a lead that I follow." May 5, 2016: Jennifer brings children Violet, Sera, and Sam to join Ben in London while he films Justice League. May 8, 2016: Ben tweets his appreciation for all the moms in the world on Mother’s Day - possibly a nod to his estranged wife. Nov. 19, 2016: Ben and Jen are spotted leaving couple's therapy together in L.A. Nov. 28, 2016: About a week later, the couple is again spotted together, this time at breakfast with son Sam in Brentwood, California. Dec. 12, 2016: Ben delivers a Times Talk at the NYU Skirball Center for Performing Arts, calling Jen “the world's greatest mom.” Dec. 23, 2016: Despite their split, Jennifer, Ben, and their children spend the holidays together in Montana. Feb. 5, 2017: Ben and Jen are seen together before the 51st Super Bowl - their last photographed outing before the official announcement of their divorce. Feb. 17, 2017: Nearly two years following their separation, it’s reported that Jennifer is officially filing for divorce from Ben. Feb. 27, 2017: The entire family celebrates Samuel’s 5th birthday together and everyone “seems happy.” March 8, 2017: Jennifer and Ben reportedly call off their divorce and separation. A source tells People that Jennifer "really wants to work things out with Ben" and "they are giving things another try.” The same week, TMZ reports that the divorce is "very much on," and Jennifer is spotted without her ring. (Source: https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/ben-affleck-jennifer-garners-love-183244314.html)  Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner announced they were officially divorcing after 10 years of marriage, three children, and years worth of tabloid rumors. What exactly caused the split? That's anyone's guess, and we're likely to hear a whole lot more rumors from those pesky tabloids in the days and weeks to come. In the meantime, we've put together 9 possible warning signs that might have signalled the end of Bennifer Part II — all purely speculative, of course. 1. Their Past Relationships Ended Badly:  Both Affleck and Garner had rocky relationships in their respective pasts. Affleck was coming off of a high-profile engagement to singer-actress Jennifer Lopez by the time he met Garner, a relationship that temporarily destroyed his acting career. (He also dated Oscar-winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow on and off for about three years.) Garner, meanwhile, was fresh off a divorce from her Felicity co-star, Scott Foley, from whom she split in May 2003, citing irreconcilable differences. She was also rumored to have dated her Alias co-star, Michael Vartan, before hooking up with Affleck on the set of Daredevil. 2. They Got Pregnant Before Marriage: Garner was pregnant with the couple's first child, Violet, by the time they got engaged in 2005. (The pregnancy was not officially confirmed by their reps until after they got married.) Some would argue, "Hey, that's just love"; others might be quick to conclude it was the makings of a shotgun wedding. And speaking of weddings… 3. They Also Got Married Pretty Quickly: Affleck and Garner were married on June 29, 2005, about a year or so after they started dating, and only about two months after they officially got engaged. Pretty fast, no? Their ceremony was also the antithesis of a big, Hollywood wedding (or, the $2 million wedding he had been planning with Lopez two years ago); according to reports, she wore no makeup, while he wore — wait for it — a t-shirt. In fact, the wedding was so small, neither one of their parents attended. Their biggest guest: Garner's Alias co-star, Victor Garber, who officiated the wedding. 4. Ben Kept In Touch With His Exes: Affleck raised more than a few eyebrows when he revealed to The Hollywood Reporter in 2012 that he still kept in touch with two of his famous exes, Paltrow and Lopez. "We don't have the kind of relationship where she relies on me for advice, but we do have the kind of relationship where there'll be an e-mail saying, 'Oh, your movie looks great,'" Affleck said of Lopez. "I remember when she got American Idol. I said: "This was really smart. Good luck." He continued: "I touch base. I respect her. I like her. She's put up with some stuff that was unfair in her life, and I'm really pleased to see her successful." Sure, that's nice of Ben — but ladies, what wife or girlfriend would be cool with that? 5. They Were In Therapy For Two Years: After the couple confirmed they are divorcing, sources told E! Online that Affleck and Garner had been in therapy for two years. According to the same article, Affleck and Garner had been on 10-month trial separation, during which Affleck had been staying in hotels. 6. Ben Referred To Marriage As "Work" In His Oscar Speech: Accepting the 2012 Best Picture Oscar for Argo, Affleck turned heads — and not in the good way — when he referred to their marriage as "work." He later tried to clarify his comment, telling Access Hollywood: "You know, all marriages, all relationships to a certain extent, require your work. They're not just work in the sense that it's like digging ditches, but they require work and investment. If you're willing to work and invest, you can be successful in a relationship with another person. If you're not, you might as well just walk out the door because it's not gonna work. We work on it together, we try our best, and nobody's perfect." 7. Garner "Didn't Have The Energy" To Court Ben: Garner also sent the gossip blogs rolling in October 2014 when she gave an honest interview to InStyle about her "mindful" marriage. "You can't expect to be courted all the time, and I don't want to court him right now – I don't have the energy!" She said. "… But we're definitely in a very mindful place where we're making an effort to be together, do things at the same time, and be loving." 8. Ben Had Some Run-Ins With Gambling: Affleck was the subject of some pretty bad press in May 2014 when he was kicked out of and banned for life from the Hard Rock casino in Las Vegas for allegedly counting cards. Affleck later copped up to the story, telling Details in September 2014: "I took some time to learn the game and became a decent blackjack player. And once I became decent, the casinos asked me not to play blackjack." 9. The Rumors Followed Them For Years: Whether you believe the tabloids or not, one thing remains clear: rumors of a tumultuous relationship had been following Affleck and Garner for years. Things took an especially heated turn in the last few months, with many magazines and online gossip sites seemingly filing at least one divorce rumors story every week. As much as we hate to admit it: Looks like they were right. (Source: https://www.nickiswift.com/1566/possible-warning-signs-ben-jens-marriage-doomed/)

#21. McKeller (Modern Celebrity Couple: Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn AKA “KURDIE”)

Kurt Russell + Goldie Hawn ❤️

• Portmanteau Name: Kurdie   • Full Birth Names: Kurt Voegel Russell, Goldie Jeanne Hawn • Birthdays: Kurt (March 17th, 1951), Goldie Hawn (Nov. 21st, 1945) • Current Ages as of 2019: Kurt (68), Goldie (73) • Zodiac Signs: Kurt (Pisces), Goldie (Scorpio) • Total Biorhythm Chemistry % Score: 51% • When They Met: 1966  • How Long They Were Together: 35 years (1983–Present) • Current Relationship Status: In Committed Relationship

History of Kurt and Goldie’s Relationship: One of the most iconic and long-lasting couples in Hollywood is Goldie Hawn, 72, and Kurt Russell, 67. The famous on-screen duo has been together for 35 years (and counting!). Though the two have vowed not to marry, their commitment to each other seems like it's never been stronger. Proof? This relationship timeline highlighting their epic, three-decade-long love story. The two first became acquainted while filming, The One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band, but they weren't quite ready to start dating yet. "I was 21 and he was 16," Hawn recalled during a BBC Radio 4 interview. "I thought he was adorable, but he was much too young. Then, years later we met up again, and I remembered that I liked him very much when I first met him. We both said we would never go out with another actor so it just shows you never can tell." Even someone as charming and handsome as Russell couldn't resist the opportunity to woo Hawn with this pick-up line: "Man, you've got a great figure.""We've kind of met twice," Russell told Conan O'Brien in 2017. "We met in 1966 on a Disney picture. I was 16 and she was a young dancer. It was her first movie. And then the time we got together was 1983 on Swing Shift." Russell continued: "I was severely hungover and I didn't know Goldie at all outside of having worked with her those many years before. I just didn't have in my mind what I was going to see, and she had a great body. So the first thing that came out was, 'Man, you've got a great figure.' It came out quickly and it could've gone wrong, and she said, 'Why thank you.'" While the two were filming Swing Shift, they went out one night after work under the guise of practicing a dance scene. Russell took Hawn to The Playboy Club, where he says they talked for hours, and then they two decided to continue the fun at a house Hawn had recently purchased to renovate. There was just one thing: she didn't have the key yet, so they were forced to break in. “We eventually found our way upstairs, looking around at imaginary furniture," Russell said, according to People magazine. "We were in the imaginary bedroom when the police walked in because we had to break into the place to get in. That was our first date."The cops didn't ruin the night, though, as the couple finished out their date in a hotel room. And, they've lived together ever since, Russell said. Prior to dating Russell, Hawn already had two children, Kate, 39, and Oliver Hudson, 42, by her second ex-husband, Bill Hudson. They were married from 1976 to 1982. She was previously married to Gus Trikonis from 1969 to 1976. Russell had a son, Boston Russell, 38, by his ex-wife Susan Hubley, who he was married to from 1979 to 1983. He and Hawn welcomed their son, Wyatt Russell, 32, in 1986. Wyatt, Kate, and Oliver are all accomplished actors, just like their famous parents."We all have dinner together quite often," said Hawn. "My daughter lives down the street from me, so I see her a lot." The couple have always been forthcoming about not walking down the aisle together, citing that as the reason their relationship is so strong. "We have done just perfectly without marrying," Hawn explained. "I already feel devoted and isn't that what marriage is supposed to do? So as long as my emotional state is in a state of devotion, honesty, caring, and loving, then we're fine. We have raised our children brilliantly; they are beautiful people. We did a great job there and we didn't have to get married to do that. I like waking up every day and seeing that he is there and knowing that I have a choice. There is really no reason to marry." "I think the secret is to know when to depend on somebody and when not to," she told Woman's Day. "It's important that you are able to hold up your side of the house. I believe that one person can't bear the whole burden because then their shoulders start getting heavy. The other part is to stay as sexy as you can and make sure you focus on all of those aspects of a healthy relationship—and sexuality is definitely one of them." During an interview with Loose Women in 2016, Hawn also confirmed that she doesn't spend every waking hour with Russell."In a healthy, longer-term relationship, I would say it's great to be together about 68 percent of the time." In May 2017, the legendary actors received not one but two stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. They even smooched during the ceremony. "It turned out to be a lovefest," Hawn told People. "The last thing he said was, 'I’ll always cherish you.' I didn’t expect him to say those things. I had no idea he was going to be so beautiful. "Look, I’ve said this for 34 years, I don’t think Goldie and I, in real terms, are any different than any other couple; we go through all the same things," Russell explained in a recent interview with People. "But the important thing of who the two people are in a relationship is what you have to deal with. There’s gonna be ups and downs and sideways and everything else. I just think after 34 years you’re gonna have experienced every emotion that you can together."As far as what Hawn loves most about Russell, the Bird on a Wire actress had this to say: "He is a unique and very gifted person. He is smart, alive and a big character. He's also a great father...and he is very male!" (Source: https://www.oprahmag.com/life/relationships-love/a25924942/goldie-hawn-kurt-russell-marriage/) We wouldn't blame twice-divorced actress Goldie Hawn if she decided to give up on relationships for good. But the actress and Hollywood Walk of Fame recipient gave love one last shot when she met actor Kurt Russell on the set of the 1984 film, Swing Shift. Their relationship resulted in the merging of two of Hollywood's most influential and good-looking stars. They immediately became a blended family, which included Hawn's children from a previous marriage, Oliver and Kate Hudson, and Russell's son, Boston Russell. The couple then cemented their bond by having a child of their own, Wyatt Russell.Their life together is now content and complete — oh, except for one little thing: they never got married. Not only do they oppose legalizing their union, but Hawn has made comments that bashed the idea of Russell ever becoming her husband. So what gives? Are they commitment phobes, or is there a much deeper issue?From their kids asking them to remain unmarried, to Hawn's refusal to drop a ton of money on a wedding ceremony, here are the real reasons Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell never got married. 1.) Divorce would be imminent: Some couples think getting married is a perfect way to display their undying love and commitment to one another. But, for Goldie Hawn, she sees marriage as nothing more than a bunch of doom and gloom, telling Britain's Loose Women panel, "I would have been long divorced if I got married." Yikes. Why so cynical?Next, the Overboard actress somewhat bashed those who revered the sanctity of marriage to prove her point. "If you need to feel bound to someone, then it's important to be married," she said, before adding, "If you have independence, if you have enough money … and you like your independence, there's something psychological about not being married." Huh?! The actress went on to say that being unmarried gives people "the freedom to make decisions one way or the other."We're not so sure Hawn's logic tracks. There are plenty of married couples who have no problem maintaining their independence. Take Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, for example. They're so independent, they practically live separate lives! Okay, maybe they're a bad example, but you catch our drift, right? 2.) They don't need marriage to make it last: Let's face it, their untraditional romance has lasted longer than most marriages in the entertainment industry. So, it's obvious Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell know a thing or two about how to keep a relationship afloat. And Hawn said it best in an interview with Porter magazine (via Us Weekly) when she stated: "A lasting relationship isn't about marriage." Yeah, obvi!To further expound on her thoughts about the secret to a happy romance, she added, "[A lasting relationship is] about compatibility and communication. And you both need to want it to work."Despite making some solid points and a ton of sense during her interview, it hasn't stopped the press from hounding her and her beau about when they'll finally take that walk down the aisle. However, at this point, it's clear the veteran actress is sticking to her guns. But, who knows, she may change her mind one day! 3.) Monogamy is 'tough': If you think infidelity isn't an issue in the movie biz, just ask LeAnn Rimes about her thoughts on that subject. Having a slew of fans, groupies, and hot co-stars makes staying faithful nearly impossible for some entertainers. And since Goldie Hawn has been a successful actress for decades, she knows just how difficult it can be to stay on the straight and narrow. She once told People magazine: "Monogamy is a very tough order." Hmm… is she speaking from experience?According to an insider, cheating has allegedly been an issue in their relationship. "There was infidelity on both of their parts. Goldie admits that she and Kurt both went off course," the source told Closer Weekly, adding that the cheating led to the couple splitting up for a brief period of time. Granted, getting cheated on sucks whether you're married or not, but maybe Hawn thinks that if she and Kurt Russell remain unmarried, giving in to their temptations is A-okay every now and then? Who knows. 4.) She's been there, done that: Before Kurt Russell swept her off her feet, Goldie Hawn had been married twice — to Gus Trikonis and Bill Hudson. Therefore, she knows a thing or two about marriage… and divorce."Basically, once you've done it once, once you've done it twice, you realize that marriage, or the act of marrying, has nothing to do with the success," she said during an episode of Chatty Man (via People magazine).Because the Death Becomes Her star has gone through two failed marriages, her hesitance to become a bride once again is understandable, no? Instead of getting wrapped up in another failed romance, Hawn has adopted a different approach when it comes to her relationship with Russell. "The wake-up call every day is, 'Do I want to be with this man?" she continued, adding, "Do I want to be in this relationship? Am I willing to give something? How can it flourish and do I want to be there?' … Any marriage, any ceremony, any ring will not define that truth." 5.) Their kids snatched away the idea: Early on in their relationship, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell actually discussed taking the plunge during a conversation with their children — including Hudson's daughter and fellow actress, Kate Hudson (pictured) — Hawn told the panel at Loose Women. And guess what? When they asked the kiddos if they wanted mommy and daddy to get married, the answer was a resounding "no!"Maybe Hawn is using her kids as a cop-out, or maybe not. On the other hand, it's possible their children witnessed some of their parents' failed marriages first hand, and they didn't want to go through the stress of watching yet another marriage implode. Decades after that family convo, Hudson is still a huge fan of her mama and pa's unorthodox relationship, which was evident by the amount of gushing she exuded on a social media post in honor of Hawn and Russell's 34th anniversary."Love you madly, deeply, profoundly," Hudson wrote to Hawn and Russell, addressing them as "Mama Goldie and Pa." Aw! 6.) She refuses to go overboard with a lavish ceremony, but she'll wear a diamond ring!:  Kim Kardashian and Kanye West spent an estimated $2.8 million on their wedding, while Donald and Melania Trump shelled out an estimated $1 million on theirs, according to E! News. Our point is: celebrity weddings can get pricey. Very pricey. When you add up the cost of the bride's dress, flowers, the venue, and a delicious cake, the final bill can be staggering. Thankfully, it ain't no thang but a chicken wing for most famous people to plop down a load of cash to make their wedding day as memorable as possible, but this is something Goldie Hawn isn't down for.Hawn told Oprah Winfrey in a 1991 interview that she refused to spend millions on a wedding, adding, "I'd rather take that money and give it to abused children." Bravo, Goldie! Though an elaborate and extravagant ceremony and reception many not be in the cards for this couple, Hawn did show off a massive diamond ring Russell had given her, while announcing that they also took part in a meaningful non-wedding ceremony. 7.) It's all about 'not losing yourself': Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have built a great life together, and they've settled into a lovely routine that now includes their children and grandchildren. Relationship goals abound, Hawn gave out a sliver of advice on how she has managed to keep their love strong sans wedding ceremony in an interview with Porter magazine (via Huffington Post). "Intention is the key," she said. "It's also about not losing yourself in each other. Being together, two pillars holding up the house and the roof, and being different, not having to agree on everything, learning how to deal with not agreeing."Okay, that's great and all, but why won't these two just make it official already? Would it really be the kiss of death if they just waltzed down to their local courthouse and officially became husband and wife?  In the end, it sounds like Hawn is afraid that marriage may strip her of her identity, and though we have a much clearer idea on why they never got married, it doesn't change the fact that their non-traditional romance is still a fairytale in its own right. (Source: https://www.nickiswift.com/136549/the-real-reason-goldie-hawn-and-kurt-russell-never-got-married/)

Look out for Part III soon!

[the-far-bright-center]

eventually, even stars burn out

“Sometimes there are things no one can fix.”

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve become increasingly concerned that my days in the SW fandom (or at least, the tumblr side of it) may be numbered.

I very much hope I’m wrong about this. So, on the slight chance that it might help somehow, I’ll try to explain why I feel this way right now.

As most of you know, I have an extremely fraught and complicated relationship with Disney’s so-called ‘new canon’ material, which all began when TFA left me so heartbroken that I’ve been unable to trust anyone at all with Star Wars ever since. I struggle to believe that the Skywalker saga will ever be treated with the adequate respect and care that it requires, and I fear that new material will only attempt to further erode its original mythic meaning....just so the ‘story’ can be continued on indefinitely. It is therefore difficult if not impossible for me to be excited about ‘new canon’ content, because ever since TFA I view every single piece of SW media released by Disney with (imo warranted) mistrust and skepticism.

After a certain SW animated series ended earlier this year, I had thought I would finally be free from the strain of constantly worrying about ‘new’ content. My blacklists covered most of the major things I didn’t want to see, and tumblr’s filter feature seemed to take care of the rest. It still took some careful navigating not to run into sequels-related crap and other random shit, but it was not impossible. I’d breathed a sigh of relief, and carried on minding my own business, living in my SW happy place where the things that distressed me didn’t exist.

But then some news broke, and suddenly, my hard-won calm was shattered. It felt like someone had kicked the heart right out of me. My carefully constructed safe space felt safe no longer. I’d thought the PT and TCW era would be safe from Disney, at least for a while. But I was wrong. It was like all the faint hope I had left for my ability to withstand the current Disney!SW onslaught fled from me in a single instant, and have been in a state of anxiety, depression, and despair ever since.

I’ve been so scared, because the last time I felt this despondent was after TFA, when I honestly thought I would never feel anything warm and light and beautiful about Star Wars ever again. And it ended up taking me YEARS to move beyond that, and to reclaim my feels and to get into the headspace I needed to be in to truly enjoy it again.

And I just... don’t know if I have that kind of energy anymore. The last three years have taken a huge toll (in RL I mean, not just in fandom). On top of my seemingly never-ending mental health struggles, I’ve had some physical ailments that went un-diagnosed for a long time and for which I’m only just starting to receive treatment. I’m always tired, mentally, physically, and emotionally. All of this makes the prospect of going through that same process all over again seem daunting, if not completely impossible.

Because back then, after TFA, when I felt that I’d ‘lost’ the Original Trilogy, I still had other places to turn. I was able to go back in time, and re-ignite my passion for SW again by re-watching the PT and TCW. But now? will those be taken from me too? have they already? is too late ?

(Have I just been delaying the inevitable, all this time?)

Horrible thoughts like this keep coming into my mind. Despite this, I haven’t given up totally...not yet. I’m still hanging on, or at least ...trying to. But in the midst of all this, I’ve been attempting to figure out what exactly is going on here. Why do these things upset me so badly that it causes me such intense emotional reactions? To the point that I can hardly converse with friends online anymore, without fear what they will say? To the point that I can’t even talk to my (very supportive) husband about Star Wars anymore without freaking out about spoilers?? To the point that I even end up feeling suicidal at times? Why does it feel like my whole world is collapsing?

Maybe it’s as simple as the fact that, when I was growing up, ‘Star Wars’ was always, from as long as I can remember, something that was ‘finished’. Complete. It was over. And its completeness was a source of comfort to me from the start. Here was a story that contained darkness and struggle, but which had an ending. And an uplifting, mythic, and spiritual one, at that.  And even later, when I was a teen and in my early 20s during the release of the Prequels, it was still something that had an end in sight. From the beginning of the PT, we knew that once those three episodes were over, the saga would be complete.

And that’s just the thing. With Disney’s Star Wars, there is no end in sight. It is something that, for all intents and purposes, could be dragged on indefinitely. And that thought is terrifying enough to make me start feeling panicky all over again. Years and years of feeling like this, all the time?? Dear Force, make it stop. D:

It’s becoming clear to me that it’s not just about one particular piece of media that I want to avoid. It’s not just the fact that something so close to my heart has at times been treated disrespectfully or even threatened with annihilation, and that I’ve felt helpless to prevent it. It’s not about my various and sundry issues with Disney’s version of SW. It’s not even that I believe that all of Disney’s SW output is inherently ‘bad’ or bound to be terrible just because it’s under the brand of Disney. I mean, I’ve been willing and able to ignore the aspects of ‘new canon’ that I loathe, and pick and choose from the bits that I do enjoy (which are few and far between, but do, occasionally, still exist). And law of averages would suggest there would have to be some decent or even, gasp, quality content at times (see: Rogue One, for instance).

So what, then, is *really* causing me so much pain and anguish on an almost daily basis? What is making my continued attempts to be part of the ‘fandom’ feel so incredibly futile?? It’s not the additions to canon themselves, but rather the frequency and sheer number of them, along with the fandom reception of these potentially infinite ‘additions’ that are causing me so much turmoil.

In the years since TFA, I’ve attempted to deal with this by viewing Disney’s ‘new canon’ as just another version of an Expanded Universe—in other words, as something optional that is not required in order to understand and appreciate the original, and that only needs to ‘exist’ in my mind and as a part of my headcanon if I wish it to. So, despite how much some of this material hurts me on a personal level, and despite the fact that the sheer amount of it makes it difficult to navigate around, up til now I’ve been able to continue as at least a semi-functional SW fan in its wake.

But lately, I’m beginning to be concerned that this method is not an adequate way of dealing with this. Because, even though *I’m* perfectly capable of ignoring the ‘new canon’ material that I don’t want to see, my need to ignore it makes it almost impossible for me to interact with 99% of the rest of the fandom.

And without interaction, a major component of fandom itself is missing. And it’s that sense of isolation and alienation that is killing me.

While tumblr as a platform has changed the face of online fandom for many (and made it unrecognizable to me in so many ways), I am still very old school in that I believe that the main purpose of fandom is to a) enjoy what we love to the nth degree, b) share what we love with each other, and c) through discussion about our shared fictional passions, create transformative fanworks, such as fanfiction, fan art, edits, fan vids, metas, etc.

This may seem like I’m stating the obvious, but unfortunately for a vast majority on tumblr, “fandom” has become less about the above, and far moreso about keeping up with actors’ and creators’ social media accounts, using fiction as a platform for ‘performative’ social justice in which people show off how ‘woke’ they are, and, worst of all (for me), constantly fixating on announcements, trailers, and news about ‘the next big thing’. It seems like, for many fans, speculation about upcoming releases is more important than enjoying the content that already exists. It’s what they LIVE for. And the minute those new pieces of media appear, everything else that came before is just... forgotten, or cast aside, in favour of it. This leaves me feeling like I’ve been left in the dust. Because, for me, the mere idea of ‘the next big thing’ fills me with nothing but extreme anxiety, depression, panic, as though I have a giant black hole in the pit of of my stomach. I live in utter DREAD of SW news. So my ability to relate to other fans and to interact with them on any meaningful level has greatly diminished due to this factor alone.

In a smaller fandom, where announcements maybe happen once or twice a year at most, I can often weather it. For example, several years ago, I left a fandom for a certain popular tv series, but remained semi-active just for the sake of one particular ship from it that I still loved. I was able to avoid most news and spoilers because it was just one show with one season per year, and that was it. But with SW in its current form, with Disney’s need to pump out new content on what seems like an almost weekly or even daily basis, it’s becoming too much for me to bear.

As I said in a previous post,

 “.....one of my many problems with Disney’s current treatment of Star Wars is that there is such a thing as ‘too much canon’. In the days of the EU, it didn’t matter how much of that was released, because any and all of it could be dismissed at a given time, because it was never official canon. But nowadays, EVERY DAMN THING has a film, book, show, comic series, animated short, video game, etc. about it. And this actually angers and distresses me, because it begins to leave less and less room for headcanons and for fans’ imaginations to run free. When there is SO much ‘official’ canon that it covers all the backstories and little ‘in between moments’, where is the freedom for writing fic and just…imagining things? Star Wars is not Marvel-verse, and should not be treated as such. Not all canon is (or even SHOULD BE) considered  ‘equal’, and this is something that, in pre-Disney times, was understood and respected. The main saga films were canon. That was it. The rest of it fell into various gradations of ‘sub’-canon. And imo, that is how it should, ideally, still be.” 

To have constant ‘additions’ to a canon that is as long-established as Star Wars feels completely disingenuous to me. So each time something new is announced, it feels like a breaking of the fourth wall. A chipping away at my ability to continue *believing* in Star Wars. It feels like someone keeps bursting into a completed story to try to mansplain it to me, saying, ‘ha, just kidding!! it’s been 30 years, 20 years, 10 years, 5 years (etc) that you’ve loved this and believed in this, but ACTUALLY the story is not REALLY over! look over here, we want to make money off you so we’re pretending the story is continuing even though it’s fake and forced!! haha!!!’  

Most of my Star Wars ‘feels’ are predicated upon a very simple premise, and that is the fact that the Skywalker saga (aka the PT and OT), AS IT EXISTS IN ITS ORIGINAL STATE, is the story of Anakin Skywalker, and that it is a complete and coherent myth, and an ultimately uplifting and redemptive tale. Everything I love about Star Wars comes back to Anakin Skywalker, his cosmic role as the Chosen One, and his eventual redemption. The fact that he, through the power of his son’s unconditional love, returns to his True Self, breaks free of his chains and sacrifices himself for his loved one, setting himself and the galaxy free. Everything depends on it, and revolves around it. My love of Anakin and Padme, my love of Obi-Wan and Anakin. My love of Snips and Skyguy, my love of Luke and Vader. My love of the Skywalker family, and their entire PT and OT storyline. And of course, my love of Anakin himself.

And what is more, all of the above is likewise dependent on the fact that the OT generations’ tale is an unequivocally heroic one, and that its heroism is complete and lasting, on both familial and galactic scale. It is not something left unfinished for the subsequent generation(s) to ‘complete’. The original saga as *I* know it does not require the ‘next generation’ in order to make it truly heroic. As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, the tragedy of the Prequels is completely redeemed by the end of Return of the Jedi. It is NOT carried forward as some kind of ‘curse’ onto the next generation. The Skywalkers are representative of the state of the galaxy, and, through Anakin and Luke’s story in the OT, both they and the galaxy itself are  reconciled and made whole again once and for all. That is the entire point of the Chosen One prophecy, and of the metaphysical, galaxy-freeing role that redemptive love plays in the (original) Skywalker saga. If that seems ‘unrealistic’ to contemporary audiences, well, you know what?? Too freaking bad!! Star Wars is not supposed to be ‘realistic’, it’s supposed to be a MYTH.

Take that away, and there IS no Star Wars for me.

And yet, that is exactly what TFA attempted to do. It attempted destroy this basic long-held truth, and with it my ability to love and feel even anything remotely positive about Star Wars,  its story, and its characters. And so it is understandable, I would hope, that ever since then I would greet new ‘additions’ to the original canon with extreme mistrust, skepticism, and even outright despair.

But despite my (imo) perfectly legitimate and justifiable reasons for feeling this way, I still realize that having such, erm, extreme reactions to even the mere prospect of new or additional content is not ‘normal’. ‘Normal’ fans are happy when they get new ‘canonical’ content right?? Unfortunately, I am not and will likely never be able to be a ‘normal’ fan in this way. When it comes to Star Wars, I will never be able to feel even the remotest bit of excitement for any such new canon content. (Which, in this case, more often than not simply means ‘officially sanctioned by a giant corporation, created under a set of confusing, disjointed, and entirely arbitrary standards, and deemed permissible for you to consume and ‘believe in’ as a real version of characters and events’, but I digress...).

Everything I love and understand about Star Wars existed before Disney ‘did’ anything to it, and everything that I still value about Star Wars to this day is likewise not dependent on whatever Disney might try do to it in the present or future. But even though I know this on an intellectual level, whenever there is new content coming out, it nonetheless still feels like a mortal threat, looming on the horizon. It feels like it’s going to try to take away everything I love all over again. And I fall into despair because I honestly lack the strength to fight it.

(Or at least, I lack the strength to fight it alone.)

And so unfortunately, from my perspective (even though I know that of course people don’t intend it to come across this way), when other fans get so excited about the new stuff, and when it seems like they so readily just accept it without question, it ends up leaving me feeling as though I’ve been left behind. As though what *I* love is, in their eyes, not enough. That somehow, the original Skywalker saga is not enough. That loving Lucas-era canon, but not Disney’s, is just me limiting myself or ‘missing out’ somehow. Whereas, from my perspective, the original material IS ‘enough’. It feels complete. It IS complete. Believing it’s not complete seems to me to be exactly what Disney wants people to think, so they can justify all of their never-ending additions, re-writes, retcons, and continuations.

And thus every time Disney churns out more content, and I see people around me acting like this content is not just a fun (and entirely optional) addition, but is rather something essential that all fans ‘deserve’ and need (despite having been perfectly fine without it for years, if not decades), just makes me feel even more alienated than I already do. Again, it’s not merely the existence of the constant stream of ‘new’ content that is killing me, but rather the fact that this content is greeted with elation by what seems to be the majority of fans these days. Yeah I know this makes me sound like I’m just resentful and bitter that other people are happy. Please know I don’t begrudge others’ happiness. Rather, I’m just struggling with the fact that while others are excited, I cannot be, thus leading me to feel isolated and left out.

But since the last thing I want is to rain on anyone’s parade, I try to be sensitive to this. Other than my various early anti-TFA rants (which I got out of my system years ago), for the most part (with the occasional exception), I’ve been keeping mum on these matters. But more often than not, in order not to be a source of negativity to others, I just end up hiding away, not talking to anyone, retreating further and further within myself  to the point that I wonder what I’m even doing here anymore.

The level of pain and anxiety and stress that all of this—from the constant stream of new content, to fans’ reception of it, to my own desperate attempts to avoid and ignore it—causes me cannot be adequately summed up in just a few words. I struggle to convey how I feel to most people because I honestly don’t know how to explain it. I feel ridiculous for even writing it down. It sounds so silly when I type it out, even though in my heart and mind, this is a very real and debilitating issue. Every time something new is announced, I become sick to my stomach, I can’t eat or sleep, I have intrusive, racing thoughts, and I feel that I have to hide out for days, weeks, or even months. I have to limit who I can talk to, and WHAT subjects I can talk to them about. And each time, it begins to feel more and more futile to even bother trying to avoid everything. Like trying to swim upstream, or to remain upright in a tidal wave. It is a constant onslaught, and I’m not sure how much longer I can weather it.

(Yes, there are some underlying mental health issues going on here that no doubt contribute to things on some level. However, it’s a complicated situation, because for many years I have been turning to fandom as a sort of therapy for myself. My most beloved fictional universes, characters, relationships, and stories are a safe-space for me, a refuge I can retreat into when my existence becomes unbearable. A coping mechanism. I don’t use that term lightly either... some days, it literally keeps me alive. And so when that coping mechanism feels like it’s being ripped away, my downward spiral into the abyss is terrifyingly swift indeed. But this is an extremely personal matter, which I won’t go into any further here, because I don’t want to diminish the topic at hand, which is a legitimate and very real struggle of mine, and is something that affects me regardless of the state of my mental health at a given time.)

Just to be clear, I’m not trying to worry anyone. I’m not planning on going anywhere just yet, and hopefully not for a while. This blog is too important to me. The people I’ve met here are too important to me. Star Wars, such as it exists in my heart, is too important to me. Despite the fact that I’m struggling emotionally, and despite the fact that it’s increasingly difficult for me to find content for this blog, I have been determined not to abandon it, and have made sure that I have a queue ready for the days when I don’t feel up to posting.

That being said, I do feel the need to be honest here about just how much of a struggle it has been to hold on, and just how alienated I have felt from so much of what is considered the normal fandom experience. And to express my anguish and despair over the fact that I can never, ever be innocently excited about new content being released in this Disney era. Doesn’t matter what it is, or who makes it. Ever since TFA, I am simply unable to ever feel happy that it even exists in same world that I inhabit. And this makes me fear for my longevity in a fandom that seems to thrive on the very thing that I abhor most and that fills me with constant dread.

While I’m uncertain these days as to whether ‘happiness’ is even possible for me in this physical existence, I do feel that my fandom experience ought to be, at the very least, a source of comfort. But as more and more of my SW safe-spaces are eroded, as more and more words must be blacklisted, as more and more tags become ‘off limits’ to me, I have fewer and fewer corners of this fandom to which I can turn.

I wish things were not like this. I wish *I* were not like this. It would be so much easier if I could just be happy like everyone else. But sadly, it seems that when it comes to being able to participate in and enjoy SW fandom in its current form, something in me is fundamentally, irreparably, broken.

What I hope to accomplish by writing and posting this, I’m not entirely sure. Obviously, I am not trying to make anyone feel bad for enjoying what they enjoy. Nor am I even seeking ‘validation’ on this matter. Because, while there are no doubt others out there who feel similarly (and *big hugs* to them if they do), I am not actually looking for commiseration or to ‘wallow’ in misery at this time. For some reason that just makes things a hundred times worse. Because...I’m still trying to hold out hope that even someone as damaged as myself can nonetheless continue to love Star Wars and even be part of an active online community.

So for now, I just needed to get this off my chest in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, by doing so, I can find a way back from this.  

[recentnews18-blog]

New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/dean-goes-to-college-on-a-funny-low-key-venture-bros/

Dean goes to college on a funny, low-key Venture Bros.

After the tightly-plotted highs of the season’s three part opener, “The High Cost Of Loathing” slows things down… a bit. The episode is still jam-packed with stuff, following the adventures of the Monarch, Hank, Dean, and Rusty as they go about their various routines, intersecting in some places and not intersecting in others. It doesn’t build to quite the same high as last week’s entry, but that’s neither a surprise nor a criticism. This is the sort of half hour that does the necessary work of re-establishing the current status quo, and setting up what’s going to be important for the rest of the season. It may not have a high concept holding it together, but it helps ensure that the reality of the Venture Bros.—the impression that these people are all going about their lives even when we aren’t watching them—persists, and it’s damn funny to boot.

The Venture Bros.Season 7

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Really, if there’s any serious criticism I could make here it’s that everyone’s doing more or less what you’d expect. The Blue Morpho odyssey finally reached its comic-tragic conclusion, but the Monarch is still doing the same thing that got him into trouble in the first place: desperately trying to earn the Guild’s approval so he can go back to arching Rusty. That makes sense on a character level, but it’s kind of a disappointment on a narrative one—all that time and effort, and really nothing has changed. Hopefully the Monarch has learned his lesson and will follow the proper channels to get himself back on Doc’s bad side, although that might not make for the most dynamic storytelling.

The Monarch going through the same motions adds to the continuity between this season and last; it’s been a couple of years in our time, but everything we’ve seen so far in season 7 has more or less directly followed from what happened in 6. And while I was disappointed to see Monarch back in the same hole, I like the sense of continuity overall. There’s a strong sense of world-building here, and it speaks of the show’s transformation from a collection of vignettes to something more connected and consistent. Of course, the mythology and the lore has always been a concern on the series; one of the most important, and tragic, jokes is how much all of these characters are fixated on the past. But there’s a coherence here that’s at once limiting and kind of fascinating.

From that perspective, the Monarch’s determination to keep doing the same old shit is more of a feature than a bug. (Oh god, that pun wasn’t intentional I swear.) He’s not the only one stuck in a rut. Rusty is still trying to hold on to Ventech; his big power play this week is to introduce a rip-off of his brother’s hover belt. It’s maybe my favorite gag in an episode full of good jokes: a riff on the opening of Hudsucker Proxy that has Rusty bolting down a table and diving through a window, only to float back up to everyone’s amazement—before succumbing to the massive bleeding caused by the lacerations from, uh, diving through a window.

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The consequences of his attempt to show-off have him hospitalized for the rest of the episode, which gives Hank a chance to try and bond with him later; it also means he’s out of the house when Hank decides to make some spare cash by operating his very own B&B. This takes a turn for the violent when Sgt. Hatred and Brock get alerted to strangers in the building without knowing the context, although we don’t see if the poor innocent tourists get killed or not. (I’m hoping not, but y’know, the odds aren’t great.) While the Monarch kicks things off, Hank and Dean are probably the real focus here, with Hank trying to spread his wings a bit after Dean goes to college. Both boys are frustrated with their father: Hank, because he doesn’t think anything he does will ever satisfy his old man; and Dean, because Rusty is determined to make his (slightly) nerdier son into a spitting image of his old man.

There’s something deeply tragic about Dean—hilarious, and tragic. Out of everyone, he’s the closest to actually being aware of how mucked up his life is. He’s still mopey and dorky and helpless with women (Sirena kisses him briefly at the end of the episode, and the boner joke that follows is pretty cringe-inducing), but he’s just clever enough to realize how ridiculous it all is, albeit maybe not clever enough to ever actually escape. He arrives at college to room with Jared, aka the Brown Widow (still Nathan Fillion), and immediately finds out that despite his intentions, his dad has signed him up for a ton of science classes. When he tries to drop them, his advisor, Professor V. Von Helping (son of super-villain Von Hellfire) convinces him to change his mind. Which leads to Biology class, and an unexpected confrontation with the Monarch.

“The High Cost Of Loathing” plays out ultimately more like a piece of a larger story than anything conclusive in and of itself. Which, as I said at the start of the review, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. There are good jokes throughout, and everything is rooted in a gratifyingly strong sense of character and place. It sets everything in motion, laying the groundwork for any number of potential conflicts (Hank vs. Dean over Sirena is something I’m kind of dreading, but we’ll see), and works as a pleasant reminder that this show can be good even when it isn’t throwing out super-hero gags three layers deep. Good character stuff, nice table-setting, and there are jokes about David Lynch’s Dune. What’s not to love?

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Stray observations

In addition to Fillion, “Loathing” also has Gary Cole as Dean’s idealistic-with-a-temper professor. Always good when the show can get more voices on it.

This is all set two months after the opening trilogy.

I like how much of the Monarch’s opening dream is centered on Gary being a badass.

Dean gives the Monarch a million dollar check to get rid of him, which seriously ups the Monarch’s standing with the Guild.

Many thanks to Drew for his excellent review of last week’s episode. It was a good one!

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Source: https://tv.avclub.com/dean-goes-to-college-on-a-funny-low-key-venture-bros-1828614819

[blundertron]

“Back to school”

I was an inconsistent student in college. I did some good work; I did some disastrously incomplete work. I fixated on my own academic interests and neglected everything else. In the end, I vowed never to go back.

But sometimes I miss it.

It will be autumn soon.

Here's the thing that really calls to me, more than the familiar cycle of seasons: I see that we are all in the midst of some great shift or seismic change, but I do not understand it. Late capitalism is transforming—transmogrifying—into something new. Some new beast, slouching towards Bethlehem...

And with the decline of the condition of late capitalism per se, there must be a coupled shift in characteristic modes of cultural production. Postmodernism is no longer a sufficient framework or mode. The theoretical armature that supports my reading of art, music, literature, is bending and breaking. What's next? Metamodernism?

Some student somewhere is going to sit in a classroom in a few weeks and discuss how the regression to market capitalist or even pseudo-feudal economies—e.g., massive inequality of our new gilded age, the gig economy—will lead or is already leading to the (self-aware?) recapitulation of modernist or romantic modes. Or whatever the current thing is, I honestly have no idea. They'll cite theorists I don't know and journals I don't read.

I'm jealous of that student.

What a strange thing it is, to be left behind.

[intheemyart]

Conserving The Moment

Has it been two days since Alverstoke Destler-Lee, the famous actor that people praised a lot, beat her to the point that she couldn't even move freeely? With all the bruises on her body, she couldn't help but to wear so many layers of clothing. 

To cover her hands with long cardigans. To cover her legs with long pants. To cover her neck with a scarf. To cover her face with a mask, hiding even her emotions behind. Though people still say that she looks graceful and elegant, still they thought it was strange for Frederica to suddenly transform into this kind of person. Someone who seemed to transition into a religious person —which is of course not—.

"Oh, an allergic reaction you don't need to worry of." The simple answer she gave to everyone in the museum regarding her clothing and everyone nodded. Not in the world they would've thought the real reason. 

"Mrs Destler-Lee, will you be able to be found in the conservation room?" asked a staff standing on the information desk when she said to her that she would not receive any guests except certain names that has been listed down. Frederica nodded. "Let those names find me in my private conservation room. Accompany them there if they visited. I'm going to work on a painting," she said as she entered her room.

And so, she disappeared behind the door. Busy with her own world.

────────── 

For Asa, moving is an opportunity to organize his belongings, especially his collections of Sol-Mae artworks. As he started to settle in, he noticed one of his mother's art needs a little touch of repairing. Although the painting looks fine, he believe the canvas needs to be changed, seeing how long the piece had not been taken care of. As he about to contact his usual man for the job, the thought of Frederica passes his mind, where in their previous lunch date he promised her to bring his mama's painting into the museum. 

He then got himself ready to go, he drove to Frederica's workplace in less than 10 minutes with his black Porsche, he took the time to stop by a flower shop to purchase a bouquet of red rose for the lady. 

As he arrive at the museum, he approach the front desk staff and they direct him to Frederica's workspace. Asa enter quietly without disturbing the lady, he watches her soft hands work beautifully conserving the art in front of her. He stays silent for minutes to observe her absolute beauty, adoring the every second of it. Afraid of being called a creeper for staring, he disturb the lady with a soft voice. 

"Frederica? It's Asa. I got something for you.”

He hands the lady a bouquet of red flower, then with a soft smile he shows her his late-mother painting that needs her help. "I am sorry for the disruption, but I'm here to drop Sol-Mae's artwork. I think the canvas definitely needs to be changed.”

────────── 

Being super focused on her job makes her unaware of her surroundings, as always. Not to mention the classic instrumental songs playing on the low volume from the speaker at the corner of the room. If the lad, Asa, didn’t called her, perhaps she may not even realize about his presence in the private conservation room. Her fingers dropped the brush carefully to the table as she pushed away the big magnifier up. 

She turned her head and smile at the guest softly behind the mask she’s currently using; to hide her bruise and to protect her from the chemicals she’s working with.

Her sweet voice welcomes him to the room. “Hello, Asa. I’m sorry for not acknowledging your presence a while ago,” she said softly as she took off her gloves and washed her hands before walking towards him. “This painting looks lovely and wonderful,” she said as she look at him in the eye. A couple kissing with poles in between. “You want to change the frame? I sense that this painting is a little bit dirty.”

────────── 

Singapore weather was hot as hell, He notices the lady has covering so many skin of her body. Although he already knew what was going on, from the babysitter he forced her to bring, Asa still shoot the question. "What's with the attire here? Is it a uniform or?"

Asa let out a good laugh to fix the atmosphere, making it a bit relax as he knew the lady will answer the question with a lie. Frederica then starts talking about the painting, Asa gave a nod with a slight smile on his face. "Yes, I believe It's been ages since this particular piece has got frame changes." 

"I knew you can help me with this one." 

He get himself closer to her as both of them started to observe the painting. He explains in a soft voice to her ear. "The painting portrays a forbidden love. Even though it's forbidden, the two of them still tries to pour their emotions as they were madly in love."

Asa started to lay his hand on hers before she starts to do her work, he looks into her face from the side as his voice became stern, showing his concerns to the lady. "I know what he did to you, and that is not love. That is abuse." His hand direct her fragile body to face him gently, looking into her eyes deeply. The distance was so close to the point they could just gave each other a passionate kiss, but Aidan whispers instead. "I knew we just met, but just like this painting, you—Frederica—is precious to me." “Nobody in this world are allowed to be treated like a punching bag, Fre." “He clearly don't deserve you.”

────────── 

As she received a question regarding her attire today just like what the other staffs did to her, Frederica brushed her nervousness with a smile and a faint laugh. “An allergy. I think because of the extreme weather these days,” she lied as an answer. At this point, she didn’t knew that he was spying on her with the babysitter he gave her days ago. Perhaps, that’s the reason why we shouldn’t receive anything or ‘anyone’ from a stranger you just met.

Her eyes still fixated on the painting brought to her studio. From the distance, she could already plan what to do with the painting. “I’ll clean the painting and remove the varnish. Retouch some parts that loses its color after respraying it with a new varnish.” She smiled at the man who suddenly became so close to her, causing her to speak nervously. “Then, I’ll change the frame—“ she paused for a while and gulped. Too close, she decided to take a step back.

“The meaning of the painting is indeed illicitly beautiful,” she commented. She didn’t lie on that one. As in trying to interpret the story behind the painting, it doesn’t mean that she normalize it. 

“Umh—“

Her heart beats faster and her eyes widen as she heard what he said— so close. So close to her that they might’ve kissed at this point. Frederica couldn’t help but to look at him in the eyes too. To hear that he knew everything back at home, she was shocked. “H—how… did you know?” she asked him behind the mask she’s wearing. Her body trembled in fear and shock, asking him. “How did you know about that—?” she asked him again. How? How did he know about the abuse? She couldn’t think clearly.

"I knew we just met, but just like this painting, you—Frederica—is precious to me." 

That word quickly struck her with reality. He knew everything about her. “Stop! Stop! Stop!” she said. “Did you spied on me? You have no right to say that!”

Frederica looked at him, scared. “It’s not your problem. It’s my problem!” “Get out!” she shouted, though her voice is too soft to be considered as a shout

────────── 

As Frederica started to exaggerate the situation with her meaningless panic, Aidan handle the situation by hugging her tight in his arms. His hand goes to her back — rubbing them gently to soothe the panicked lady. He then whisper softly. “Shh… you will be safe with me.“

The hug made the lady a bit calm, He then look directly to her teary eyes. The eyes that could tell us that she is suffering in pain. There was a minutes of silence, only a classical music can be heard from the corner of the room. Their eyes spoke louder than their words. Aidan slowly took her mask off. Oh how it pierced his heart to see the mother of two got bruises on her face. It was terrifying to see the result of the domestic abuse she been getting. He couldn’t say a word, there is no words can describe his emotions right now.

He is mad to the man that could do such thing to this beautiful creature, He also felt sad as he imagine to be on her shoes with two kids in a abusive relationship. In his mind he thought: “I will protect her, at all cost. Just like I will protect my sister.”

Without saying any words, Aidan clash his lips on Frederica’s for a passionate kiss. He couldn’t handle his desire to just kiss the fragile lady. The kiss was so gentle that he never done it this way before. The kiss gets deeper as he move his hand from her neck down to her cardigan, letting it down slowly as he wants everything to happen within her consent. His hands go down to her hips, without breaking their kiss — he lifts her up to the near table beside them. As the lady is sitting on the table, Aidan hands are busy removing every layer of clothes that left on her body — leaving only her undergarments. Aidan then lower move his gentle kisses to her bruises, from lips to her cheek, down to her soft neck.

His one hand are on her waist as the other was on the table. The kiss eventually continue to go down to her chest & her belly. It hurts him to see all the scars on her silk body, he continue the kiss to her hip bones. Aidan looks up to her for more consent before doing anything else, as he started to lower down his body & lift Frederica’s long legs to the table.

────────── 

A warm hug— and a tight one wrapped her body at once. At once, Frederica felt a little calmer than before. She felt something that healed her through the whisper and the soothing words. Tears ran across her cheek. It’s indeed, been a rough time for her. Eyes showing her pain. Her body trembled as he took him in his hug. Everything seems so perfect to explain how she’s handling everything at once by herself, without ever talking about the matter to anyone else but him; Aidan.

As he took off her mask, the lass closed her eyes. Her emotions mixed as one inside her heart. It was embarassing to let anyone see her in this situation. In this condition. She always look her best and now… fragile.

Lips on lips— they met each other’s. Frederica’s heart beats faster as this was the first time someone kissed her but not Alverstoke. Not that man. A man she just knew days ago from a simple question.

A passionate, soft, gentle kiss that suddenly felt so beautiful. 

Cardigans off— showing her bare skin of bruises. Her heart was in full of doubts; to continued or not. She’s technically still married to the man. She’s still someone’s wife. Her mind was blacked out by several thoughts and consequences. But then she realized, if her husband doesn’t even treat her well and cheated behind her— shouldn’t she do some revenge? Why would she care about what he had in mind or how he feels? He abandoned her too.

She hold her breathe when he lifted her to the table next of them with her being undressed one by one, until she showed him most of her bare skin. A faint moan was heard from her lips as he moved the kisses down— from the lips, cheeks, neck, chest, and belly.

Frederica looked up and bit her lower lips as she felt lips on her hip bones, slowly but sure going down. She tried to brush off the thoughts in her mind and let herself enjoy the moment while it lasts. 

“Umhh—“ she opened her eyes and looked down at the lad. Both of her long legs on the table. Frederica exchanged gaze with him— a scared one yet tempted, a nervous one yet seduced. Doubts could be seen, but she gave him a faint smile on her face, giving him her consent to do more.

────────── 

He put an obvious smirk on his face as she gave the consent to continue. Aidan then kisses her thighs gently, exactly on the bruises. The kiss eventually leads him to her panties, he then rub her sensitive bud with the tip of his nose. Moving it up and down slowly.

Aidan sense she is hesitant about the affair, he looks up to the lady who clearly enjoy the touch he was giving, and ask her softly as his hands started to pin both of her legs for a better ‘workspace’. 

“Are you sure about this?“ He asked to the lady.

────────── 

How long has it been since Alverstoke touched her this way? It’s been a while, before the birth of the twins to be exact. To feel this kind of sensation running in her bloodstream— she felt so wonderful. She felt like she was recharged.  Kisses on her thighs, slowly leading to her private part— the most sensitive of her body. Frederica locked her eyes on him, seeing every movement of him under there… while she bit her lower lips. Her chest moved uncontrollably, feeling the urge to be pleased.

Another question was asked and a nod simply became the answer to her. “You said that you’ll keep me safe. Then let me trust you with this one— I want to let the past go. I want… to feel appreciated again,” she answered carefully while trying to control her breathe.

Frederica knew exactly that right after this, there’s no point where she could turn back time. It is what it is and this is what she wants. 

“Do it before I change my position and started to please you instead.”

Naughty words slipping through her lips.

────────── 

Her words, the one that she repeated his word about keeping her safe, made Aidan smile a bit. His mind kept telling him how wrong this is — banging somebody’s wife. But deep inside Aidan know that she needs this, the affection, the genuine love, the affair. That is all he got to hear, her fire asking to be breed with gasoline. The ‘Do me’ sentence that gave him nothing but consent. Aidan then came back down to slide her panty down to her feet. 

Her body look majestic for a mother of two who just gave birth, Aidan adore her since the day she lended her hand for an introduction. Here she is, laying all naked on her own workspace with nothing but a bra on — having an affair with him — a red wine enthusiast.

Just like wine, Frederica gets even fine with age. Aidan submissive always ranging in younger girls section, but this affair was different. His feelings towards pleasing her was not just about lust, he finally could feel the ‘love’.

He once again gave in, without any hesitation or even touching her with his bare hands — he just crashes his tongue to her redden bud. The sensitive bud of hers been calling him to let his tongue dances on it since the beginning. Aidan gently letting his tongue dances on the redden bud while he looks up to her, notices how much she is enjoying this moment. The air was full with her needy moans. If Aidan was in his usual behavior, Frederica will already be on her knees chocking on his shaft. 

Once again, this moment was meant for her pleasure. She deserves it, I’d do it often too knowing how long she been staying with her abusive husband. As the pace of his tongue on her bud gets a bit rough, Aidan slides 2 fingers into the lady’s private part.

────────── 

Legs wide open in front of the man he barely knew. They talked once, twice with what happened today, and now they ended up in a lustful affair, in her working area at the museum. Something Frederica never imagined before— not even once. Turning forty at the end of the year yet still doing and looking great; innocent, pure, yet sexy at the same time. Her cheeks blushed as the man slid down the black panty she’s currently using— contrast with her milky-white fair skin.

Naked and exposed to Aidan. Her hands grabbed the corner of the table when his tongue started to please her, dancing on her sensitive red bud down there. At first, she tried her best to hold it inside but the pleasure she felt made her dizzy. The electrifying sensation that rushed inside her, causing her body to bend a little bit backward. He’s truly one of a kind, treating woman like her as a queen. 

“Mmhh— Aidan…” she moaned while calling his name.

The sound of the classic music that once filled the room has now been taken over by her moans of needing more and more— especially when his tongue’s pace started to please her rougher than before. “For God’s sake—! Ahhh…. that feels so good mhh~” she moaned.

Eyes shut and she tried so hard to bit her lips, toning down her volume of moans and heavy breathes. She threw her head back, facing the ceiling as her body slowly trembled. And as the two fingers slid in, she gasped— in a loud moan she quickly covered with her hand.

“Oh— yes!” she screamed out gently as she started to move her hips slowly, following his movements. “It feels so good ahhh…” 

────────── 

He then breaks the dance as he started to thrust his fingers good into her. Aidan’s eyes was fixated to her body reaction, It was satisfying to see her squirms — obviously asking for more. Aidan knew exactly what she needed — a climax, so that’s what he is aiming to. His fingers form into a hook, then moving it in the perfect motion to hit her walls — making her on the edge. His other hand was placed on her lower belly, pinning it down so they won’t move away.

Aidan eyes goes up to her eyes as he had found the spot. With a smirk on his face, he kept hitting the walls with his fingers. The room was filled with her noises, her moan & the mess he made down there. With gentle tone, he said: 

“How about a release?”

────────── 

Its getting deeper and the hook really made a huge difference inside her. Hitting the wall again and again in such perfect motion, causing the lass to grab on the corner of the table tighter than before. Her body is quivering from the euphoria that started to built. 

Frederica couldn’t hold it any longer as she started to feel the urge to let go something. The urge to moan faster and louder than before. She did it right in front of Aidan. “Ahh— again… faster— deeper,” she moaned as her body was shaking. The mother of two smiled at him, panting. She kissed him on the lips softly before she pulled away, parting their lips that became the start to this lusty affair. Of an affair that reached its climax.

An elegant woman turned into a lusty one— her hair in mess and so does her appearance right now. Almost naked, only with her bra on.

────────── 

Aidan put a devilish smirk as the lady finally release it all, he welcomes her short but passionate kiss. He then breaks the kiss as he started to pull his fingers out from her, laying his forehead on hers as he thrusted his juicy fingers into her mouth. He rested his forehead to hers as his fingers getting ‘cleaned’ well by her. He whispers softly to her. 

“Divorce him. He should always give you satisfaction — like I just did, not beating you up. You are a precious woman, not his punching bag.“

Aidan then took his fingers out from her mouth, leaving a kiss on her forehead as she nodded to his request. He hands her cardigan from the floor, then walks out from the room like nothing happened. As he reached the door, without turning his back, he said: “Text me.”

────────── 

Frederica happily put his fingers inside her mouth, licking it seductively as she cleaned his finger after pleasing her with so many ways, in an unexpected way and place, after the short passionate kiss that they had. 

Both foreheads met each other as she licked him clean, as he tried to convince her for a divorce. Yet still, Frederica doubted herself. There were so many things to be taken under consideration. 

“I don’t know… I’ll try to look for a way out. The twins needs him.”

She could only nodded her head. She wanted to divorce him so much, but again, she needs to settle some matters first. The twins and her family, not to forget that divorce wasn’t easy and will never be easy Frederica realized that her life worth more than living in an abusive marriage with him. She hold on to the cardigan that he handed back and started to dress up when he left her alone in the room like nothing happened before. 

“I’m going to divorce him, sooner or later…” she mumbled when he told her to text him.

End of Conserving The Moment.

[omsexy]

Eat For a Dollar a Day

Is it even conceivable? There are many references to how you can eat for a dollar daily on the web, and many individuals have attempted to do as such for seven days, or a month, or a year, or even for eternity. Books have been composed regarding the matter, the significant news networks have even covered various endeavors on the subject previously.

Why are individuals so intrigued with the possibility that it very well may be feasible to eat for a dollar daily? Consider that the normal American group of four spends about $ 7200 per year on food. How might you want to see that diminished by 80 %, for a reserve funds of $ 5744 every year?

Or then again in additional alluring terms, imagine a scenario in which somebody could show you how a distinct individual can eat for simply a dollar daily. That is 7 dollars per week, or 28 dollars per week for a group of four.

Promptly, you have questions and questions:

Q: What are these, 1929 dollars?

A: ha. No. These are at current normal store costs. One issue with sites like this however is that they don't generally refresh the food costs they refer to. Make certain to check a couple of the costs yourself. We have discovered sites with costs that were 8 years of age.

Q: I disdain cereal. Do I need to have cereal for breakfast until it's coming out my ears?

A: Ha once more. No. It's useful for you and helps, yet you don't need to at any point eat oats in the event that you would prefer not to.

Q: OK, I know. I need to purchase 50 pound sacks of beans and rice and transform my kitchen into a stockroom?

A: No, however they normally will show you how purchasing in bigger amounts can save you all the more however in the event that you decide to. All things considered, on the off chance that you check the 50 pounds sacks of beans accessible on the web, they are no deal by any means, in addition to the cargo will kill you. Click here : 먹튀사이트

Q: Do I need to surrender red meat?

A: No, however you will wind up scaling back, and purchasing more affordable cuts. They are typically genuine about your odds. Eating for a dollar daily is undeniably challenging to do however, regardless of whether you adhere to a veggie lover diet. Regardless of whether going vegetarian is for you, you should yield the way that red meat is about the most costly thing we purchase.

Q: I'd prefer to purchase and plan suppers all the more financially yet I don't have the opportunity.

A: Great sites of this nature think about simplicity and speed of readiness. Try to attempt to keep it both straightforward reasonable.

Q: Will I be holding back on sustenance?

A: You should NEVER hold back on sustenance. Truth be told, you ought to really mean to eat better, as you will probably be eating a greater amount of the less expensive solace food sources like, rice, beans and pastas rather than red meat and arranged food varieties.

Q: I like eating great. Will I get exhausted with exactly the same thing again and again?

A: On the off chance that you do, something isn't right. Individuals who attempt to tell you the best way to get a good deal on your food bills are by and large fixated on advancing investment funds, yet in addition empowering great nourishment and a sound eating routine, just as placing some zing in your existence with intriguing and charming suppers. They ought to likewise endeavor to make life simpler in the kitchen. There's no enchantment here. They do this by showing you how to shop all the more astutely, telling you your best value for the money, how to eat a better and more adjusted eating routine, and furthermore give strong exhortation on cooking, for both the novice and surprisingly the master in the kitchen.

[dolly-decadatia]

12/3 S.C notes Chap 7 continued

South- fire 🔥: the element of transformation, of passion and change, success, health, and strength. An oil lamp or piece of lava rock can be used as well.

 West: water 💦- a cup or bowl of water can be placed in the west. Water is the realm of the emotions, of the psychic mind, love, healing, beauty and emotional spirituality

 The altar should go in the center (according to Scott) but you have to be flexible about the amount of space you have. Some of us have to place it in a corner or against a wall. I for one currently live in a shitty trailer and will be moving into a tiny rv once my lease is up. It behooves me to not fixate on “my altar MUST be dead ass center in the circle.” A lot of us probably have similar poverty related space constraints.

 Generally the altar is set up facing north (but see my thoughts above).

 Take his altar set up with a huge grain of salt. He’s gendered it. He says the left is goddess, the right god and he’s gendered inanimate objects to reflect cis genitalia and assigned them to the left or right. Cis pussy to the left, cis dick on the right. It’s not so much transphobic as it is just weird and creepy. I probably want to completely design my own altar lay out to avoid this weird dick and pussy fixation. I need to double check how LaVey had his set up. It’s been a really long time since I actually practiced Satanism and I don’t remember his set up. I know he has a straight up phallus on his supply list but imo having. A representation of genitalia that looks like genitalia is less weird and creepy that randomly deciding Wands and athames are cocks and cocks somehow automatically are male. I think LaVey’s phallus was supposed to represent lust or something. Idk, I need to reread it. Don’t quote me.

 If you’re working magic in the circle ⭕️, all necessary items should be within it before you begin, either on the altar or beneath it. Never forget to have matches handy, and a small bowl to hold the used ones. He says it’s “impolite” to throw them in the censer or cauldron but until I see someone I respect say that I’m ignoring it.

 Chapter 8: The Days of Power

 Here, I’m copy pasting notes I already took from the internet while I was waiting for the book to arrive. I skimmed through Scott’s chapter to see if there was anything to add but there wasn’t. These are my first draft of what May end up being my holidays/ Sabbaths/ whatever I choose to call them. They’re not done so don’t judge them too harsh yet:

 “Wheel of the year” ideas

 January- New Years

February- Valentine’s Day

March- bad things happened to me-day of healing ?

April- wedding anniversary and t date

June- my birthday

Aug- partner’s birthday

October- Halloween and dating anniversary

December Krampusnacht

 9 in total this draft

Does not seem seasonal at all so “wheel of the year” isn’t a great name at all.

 I do like some of the seasonal things but I’m having trouble figuring out how to incorporate them. Even when I was Wiccan I didn’t understand the significance of celebrating an agricultural cycle.

 Wiccan wheel:(copy pasted with commentary)

Yule- When is Yule: December 20-23

Themes: rebirth, quiet introspection, new year, hope, setting intentions, celebration of light 

In most traditions, Yule is the Sabbat that begins the Wiccan Year.

(I think January 1st makes more sense to me. As far as the winter holiday goes- I resonate with Krampusnacht and there’s nothing about Krampus that screams “new year” to me.)

 This is the Winter Solstice—the shortest day and longest night we will experience in the Northern Hemisphere.

Yule, a fire festival, is a time of celebrating the return of the light. From this point forward, the days will gradually grow longer again, until we reach the height of the Sun’s power at the Summer Solstice.

Although we will still see comparatively little of the Sun’s light for several more weeks, this Sabbat reminds us to have patience—the waning half of the year is over, and warmth, growth, and light will reign again!

 (This part resonates with me because I have seasonal affective disorder and the light returning is very meaningful personally.) 

 it is a relatively quiet, indoor holiday, as people gather within the warm shelters of their homes to be merry and give thanks. As a Yule ritual, many decorate their altars with evergreen branches, such as cedar, pine, hemlock and spruce, as well as bright sprigs of holly, pinecones, and other festive winter flora.

 Food for simple feast/ gingerbread and ???

 Candles are paramount to this Sabbat, of course, with Yule traditions emphasizing the colors red, green, white, and gold. Images of the Sun are also appropriate. Those lucky enough to have a fireplace can burn a sacred Yule log, but you don’t need an actual hearth to brighten up your home with candles galore! Interestingly, many traditions which are generally thought of as belonging to Christmas—including the Yule log, a decorated tree, wreaths, and even caroling—are actually rooted in pre-Christian pagan traditions. So it’s quite likely that you’ve already been celebrating Yule for years, with or without your knowledge!

 Imbolc- This cross-quarter day—midway between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox—is a welcome milestone for many who eagerly await the warmer months.

 (So do I need to celebrate the coming warmth in December? Wouldn’t this make more sense- or would it make even more sense to wait for the spring equinox to really say “fuck you”’to winter?)

 celebrated on February 2nd. As a holiday celebrating beginnings and renewal,

(Seems like a beginnings and renewal holiday would be relevant to me but maybe I should do that on my t day)

 Imbolc is often chosen as a time for initiation, whether it be through a coven or through a self-dedication ritual.

 (Also seems like a tday thing) It is also a time for ritual cleansing after being shut indoors, largely inactive, for the past few months. (My t day is in April when spring is either here or near and that imagery can make sense then too) The ability of the Sun to cleanse and purify is recognized in various ways. Some people light several candles in each room of the house, or, in a more modern version of this tradition, turn on every lamp to set the old energy “ablaze” with the power of light. Some Witches will leave their ritual tools out in direct sunlight as one of their Imbolc traditions to cleanse and charge them—particularly metal tools and treasured crystals or mineral stones.

Traditional candle colors for Imbolc are white, yellow, orange and red, and altar decorations include fresh Spring flowers, besoms (small decorative ritual brooms) and figurines or images of young animals.

 (The stated foods are all Imbolc specific and don’t make sense for me turning parts of it into my tday festival)

Ostara- (there do not appear to be any themes in Ostara that would be relevant or useful to my practice)

 Beltane  April 30 or May 1

Themes: passion, mischief, sensuality, sexuality, (rawr) beauty, romance, fertility,(eew) vitality, abundance

 Celebrated on May 1st, Beltane marks the transition point from Spring to Summer. This is a heady time of lust, passion and fertility, marking the return of vitality to both the Earth and the Sun. Blossoms on the trees are giving way to robust leaf growth, young animals are growing into maturity, and the daylight continues to lengthen and strengthen as we move toward the full power of Summer. Love and commitment are themes of this Sabbat, along with abundance and creativity. Handfastings are traditionally held at Beltane.

 (Wedding anniversary is April 14. Can possibly borrow some Beltane themes for that)

 Beltane is a very sensual Sabbat in many traditions, celebrating sexual energy

 One distinct custom in England and elsewhere that has never died out entirely is dancing around the Maypole—a tall, wooden pole said to represent male virility. Typically, people gather flowers and green branches to decorate the Maypole, or else use brightly colored ribbons. Many groups incorporate this tradition into their Beltane celebrations.

Fire is also a big focus at Beltane—so much so that many places host a Beltane fire festival. In ancient Irish culture, from which the name of the Sabbat is borrowed, people lit giant sacred fires on this day to purify and protect their cattle from illness. The cattle were driven between two fires to ritually cleanse them and connect them with the Sun. It was also considered good luck for people to jump over a bonfire at this time, and this is another Beltane ritual that is often found in celebrations.

The word “beltane” actually comes from an ancient Celtic word meaning “bright fire,” so it’s highly appropriate to include fire of some kind in your festivities. If, like many Wiccans, you don’t have the means to build a fire either indoors or outdoors, you can still decorate your altar with images of fire. If you have a mini-cauldron, place it over a few scraps of red and orange paper for a symbolic fire right on your altar!

Other ways to celebrate Beltane include making a “wedding feast” . Breads and cereal grains, oatmeal cookies and dairy foods are all traditional Beltane treats. Include seasonal spring vegetables as well for a true feast. Gather flowers and green leaves to decorate your altar with. Many people like to create a “mini-Maypole” for their altar and decorate it with ribbons. If you have long hair, braid it as a symbol of the union between (my partner and I) weaving in some wildflowers or tree blossoms if you like. Traditionally, couples would spend the whole night outdoors, romping in the fields and forests, but if this isn’t practical, take a long walk with your sweetheart somewhere out in nature. The important thing is to make sure you spend some time outdoors on this day! (we like nature and we got married on the beach so this is very useable)

 Midsummer June 20-22 (oh hey thats so close to my birthday!)

Themes: abundance, growth, masculine energy, (love that for me) love, magic

 This is the longest day and shortest night of the year, marking the pinnacle of the Sun’s power to fuel the growing season. From here on out, the Sun will set a little earlier each night until Yule, and so we recognize and give thanks for its warmth.

The crops are reaching their full maturity and the forests are bursting with lush growth. In just a few short weeks, the harvest season will begin, but for now we pause to celebrate the manifestation of what was planted in the early weeks of Spring. The warm sunlight is a welcome contrast to the cold and dark of Winter, and we bask in its comforts. T 

To celebrate this Sabbat, you can decorate your altar with summer flowers, herbs and fruits, and summer colors like yellow, green and blue. This is a traditional time for rites of re-dedication as well as divination related to love and romance. Keep at least one candle lit throughout the day to honor the Sun, and if possible hold your rituals at noon, when the Sun is at its highest point in the sky. Have an outdoor picnic feast to bask in the warmth of the day, and eat fresh fruits and vegetables—ideally from a farmer’s market or harvested from your own garden. This is a good time for magic related to masculine energies and any situation that needs to be “fired up” in your life.

 Lammas: August 1 or 2

Themes: first fruits, harvest, gratitude, benevolent sacrifice, utilizing skills and talents

(I don’t know what to do here. When I was Wiccan, this was one of my faves because I am obsessed with autumn but all the mythology here in the description is harvest related and I am not a farmer or about gratitude. Gratitude is lovely and I want to incorporate it into my practice but doing gratitude amongst the fall foliage aesthetic makes me think of American Thanksgiving which is super gross. This is going to need a lot of thought.) 

 Lammas rituals are related to harvest and gratitude, and recognizing the manifestations of our intentions that have unfolded so far during the course of the year. Bread-making is a common way to mark the holiday, as it represents bringing the seeds of intention into full fruition. People also might make a corn dolly—a traditional poppet made from straw—for use in ritual and magic. Decorate your altar with the colors of summer and fall—yellow, orange, red, green and brown. Use harvest imagery like scythes and baskets and, of course, loaves of bread. A Lammas feast should definitely involve bread, as well as late-summer fruits and vegetables, corn, and other grain dishes. Spellwork related to securing abundance and a happy home is particularly powerful at this time.

(see what I mean? What do I do here? Also I just glanced at the date and its early august which is hotter than the surface of the sun in the modern south where i am trapped. It doesn’t start feeling autumny down here until mid november. This one needs a lot of work)

 focus their celebrations on giving thanks for their skills and talents as well as for the grain harvest, but the emphasis is on gratitude all the same.

 Mabon: September 21-24- Autumn (or Fall) Equinox.

Themes: harvest, gratitude, abundance, balance, preparation, welcoming the dark

(wait, how is this different from lammas? I think this is the one I was actually thinking about when I said “this was one of my faves when I was actually wiccan.” My bad. Ok, I’m dumb but in my defense why do they have 2 back to back autumn colored gratitude holidays???)

Mabon falls on the Autumn Equinox and is the second of the three harvest festivals (Lammas, Mabon, and Samhain). Just like Ostara on the opposite side of the Wheel of the Year, at Mabon the days and nights are of equal length. Though temperatures may still be warm during the day, summer has truly come to an end. The leaves on deciduous trees have begun to turn colors and fall to the ground, (not in my state, homie) and there is a chill in the evening air. The days were longer than the nights until this moment, and after this the nights will begin their reign.. In these modern times, most of us are not involved in agriculture, but we can still take a moment to rest from our labor and relax, appreciating all that we have. It is a time to recognize the need for balance between work and play.

But how should you celebrate Mabon? For starters, Mabon rituals can include decorating your altar with acorns, pine cones, seasonal fruits and nuts, and/or a few of the first colored leaves that drop from the trees. (yes this was deffo the one I was thinking of, not Lammas) As with Lamas, harvest imagery like scythes and baskets can be used. (no wonder I mixed them up. They’re practically twins.) Candles and altar cloths in autumn colors like rusty red, orange, brown, and gold are appropriate. If you have a feast, whether solo or with others, include seasonal vegetables like onions, potatoes, carrots and other root vegetables. Spellwork related to protection and security is appropriate now, as are workings for self-confidence, prosperity, harmony and balance. If you are one who struggles with seasonal depression during the fall and winter months, (YUP) use this time to set an intention for inner peace and strength. You might make and charge a talisman for this purpose, to accompany you through the next two seasons. (OOH i LIKE THAT) 

When is Samhain: October 31 or November 1

Themes: death, rebirth, divination, honoring ancestors, introspection, benign mischief, revelry

The third and final harvest festival on the Wheel of the Year is Samhain, observed on October 31. This Sabbat marks the end of the growing season and the beginning of Winter, which must be prepared for now in earnest. Herbs are dried for winter storage, fruits and vegetables are canned and preserved, and root vegetables are dug up and stored so they may nourish us through the cold months. The word “Samhain” comes from the old Irish and is thought by many to translate as “Summer’s end.”

While the cycles of life and death are implicitly recognized at every Sabbat, Samhain is when the necessary role of death is formally honored. The nights grow noticeably longer with each day. The God retreats now into the shadows of the dark season, symbolically dying back to the Earth before being reborn again at Yule. Many Wiccans and other Pagans consider this to be the most important day on the Wheel, a time when the veil between the spirit world and the mundane world is at its thinnest. Our ancestors and loved ones on the Other Side are said to be more easily able to visit with us and make their presence known at this time.

Samhain is arguably the most visible Sabbat in the mainstream world, thanks to the parallel holiday of Halloween. Many of the Halloween traditions celebrated in contemporary cultures today have grown out of customs dating back to pagan times. As far back as ancient Greece, people were leaving offerings of food to their ancestors, which is echoed in the modern tradition of trick-or-treating. The practice of leaving root vegetables hollowed out with lighted candles inside, to guide spirits visiting on Earth ultimately led to today’s jack-o-lanterns. Witches, of course, have always been part of mainstream Halloween lore. 

 . We also honor our ancestors and invite them to visit with us. You might decorate your altar with pictures of your deceased loved ones in addition to fall foliage, apples and nuts, dried herbs and even jack-o-lanterns. Many people will leave a plate of food and drink out for any spirits who happen to wander by. Samhain is one of the most powerful nights of the year for spellwork and divination. Magical workings related to just about anything will receive an extra boost, but waning-moon work will have the most potent effect. Banishings, protection spells, clearing of obstacles and astral projection are particularly favored. Scrying, tarot reading, rune casting and any other form of divination you practice will bring you very clear results, as well as possibly a visit from an ancestor or spirit guide. Be open to doing inner work as well—reflecting on what you’d like to let go of and what you’d like to improve in yourself over the coming year.

(Ok now I’m going to be repetitious and re paste my list of significant dates and combine my thing with the wheel if applicable. Ran out of time midway through that so I’ll put it into tomorrow’s study notes)

[thislifeisyours-ifyouwantit]

Introduction; 5/3/20

Ah fuck, where do I start with all of this…

I guess this would be a good way to journal, as seeing as I’m a particularly lengthy writer, and an articulate one at that. Writing by hand used to be my preferred method, but with all the things going on and our (my) world changing so much, I don’t have the time to sit down and properly write by hand. So this is what I’m going to do instead.

I’m overwhelmed and got too much on my mind, so I found that maybe making a journaling blog might help.

I’m 23 and I’ve seen too much evil in this world, so it now exists inside of me. That’s what I’m calling it now- evil- all this pent-up rage that’s a part of my healing process with the CPTSD and PTSD.

It originally started to crop up when I worked out, and it has begun to grow out of hand the past couple of months. Psychiatrists past and present have told me it’s normal to feel vicious and enraged towards your abusers, even healthy and normal as it’s a sign of healing… But man, is this normal?

I even gave it a face. It’s name is Venny, short for Vengeance. It walks on two arms, like that Japanese urban legend thing, the Taka-Taka or some shit? Huge grin on its face, and slits for pupils. Jagged teeth. Maybe I’ll upload a picture of Venny. Venny even can transform into a feral three-headed rotting werewolf… Sometimes my rage takes different forms.

All it feels like is a bloodthirsty animal that wants to hurt people. Hurt those that hurt me, and hurt myself, as of lately…

That’s primarily why I started this. My suicidal ideation has gone through the roof since COVID-19 began. I feel nearly out of control. And historically knowing me, I’ve got serious problems with control and the need to be in control.

Things fucking suck right now. And if you really, really know me, things “sucking” for me is quite monumentally different than other people. My bullshit tolerance is so much higher than normal people. I’m so used to being walked all over like a doormat, lmfao. Probably because my PTSD allows me to tolerate such high levels of stress (or not even register I’m stressed in the first place).

It started with getting an ESA. I tried pairing myself up with a couple of dogs. It didn’t work out; I actually got stressed out & had anxiety attacks in response to the dogs. Damn did I want a dog. What kind of sick, twisted system of a body gets stressed to a thing that should be therapeutic? What the fuck.

So then I spiraled quickly after I pitied myself and resented this stupid PTSD brain of mine. I was angry that I was trying to find solutions after my PTSD had been getting out of control the last few months, and I was trying to find a solution, and this didn’t work. Then I considered a cat. But even though I wanted to deny it to myself, my allergies to cats are pretty high. And then… I wanted a ball python, which was pretty lit.

Now, my insecurities about finances have been haunting me since I quit my job due to my PTSD (do you see a running theme here) and I began to worry about what my parents would say if I wanted a snake (newsflash: they suck at supporting me, and they were not too positive in response to a snake when I said I wanted one). I waffled between pets a lot. I think I’ll go for a cockatiel or bird, as it might help a lot… I love birds, have for two years now, might as well jumpstart.

Then, the whole “breathing issues and can’t work out” issue got to me. Gaining weight has been really fucking getting to me. I want to spite kill myself over it. I’ve been setting up a routine to eat three times a day instead of eating uncontrollably, and I walked every day, but I still grew even more depressed.

I think the thing that’s driving me most nuts is NOT HAVING ANYTHING TO DO AT ALL. FUUUUUCK. I’m going nuts with nothing productive to do, save for my classes. I want to work, but then again- disabilities, I’m immunocompromised, harassed out of my jobs… good shit you know.

And my roommate has been driving me up a fucking wall. She’s an extrovert, I’m an introvert. She’s also obviously neurotypical as all Hell, and very needy for contact with people. Couple weeks back I asserted my boundaries with her, but she still invades my space sometimes and it drives me nuts. She touches me without consent (no not sexually, like hugs and pokes (the fuck?) and stuff like that). Mostly her neurotypicality (is that a word?) is what grates me like cheese. It wakes Venny up… Makes me want to stab the shit out of her or something. I know that’s concerning and evil and stuff, but she’s said shit that annoys the fuck out of me. We were watching a movie where a guy got possessed by an evil ghost and he cut himself pretty bad to spell a message in blood. She knows I’ve self-harmed. She says “dude, how deep do you have to cut yourself to bleed that much?”

I immediately had to tell her “dude, don’t say that stuff- it’s highly triggering.”

Oof, God I cannot stand it.

And to put the icing on the cake: Registrar denied my petition for my credits at my last institution to substitute general education credits at my college now. Had a breakdown in my car. So I’m at a setback for graduation by at least a quarter. Which doesn’t seem much, but when you’re a disabled, pissed off 5th year college student like me, so close to graduating, who was going to graduate in the summer but now CAN’T because you got set back by TWO FUCKING CREDITS… Makes you want to run your mid-sized vehicle into the closest godforsaken lake.

So basically: I’m stuck indoors, with a huge ESA problem, I can’t use my #1 coping mechanism which is working out, my graduation plans got fucked up, and I want to hurt myself and everyone around me. Greaaaaat.

I mean, on the plus side I’ve got my boyfriend Max, who is a GODSEND, who is so patient and sweet with me. I’m currently at this place as I type this and set up this blog. And I may have settled on a bird finally; finally got back to my professors after getting the fuck out of town. We shall see.

I don’t know what to do with myself, or what to do to cope better. Whenever I’m alone, I fixate on cutting again. I’ve been so, so many years clean, like 5 years clean. I want to kill myself so bad when I’m alone. I just wish I had the gym back.

~*~

[meditationadvise]

5 Ways To Benefit From The Global Shift In Consciousness And Awaken To Your True Purpose

A couple of years ago Albert Einstein claimed a fantastic thing. He said,

" You can not solve any kind of problem in the very same state of awareness where it was developed."

You understand this currently, don't you? Have you ever experienced that you go to bed one evening having a fight with your partner, or a close friend, and you absolutely recognize that you're right and also the various other is wrong, and it feels like a battle without end?

And then you have a good night's sleep, as well as perhaps you get up and do a little yoga exercise or take a stroll, and the trouble never gets solved. It is liquified. You really feel different in yourself. You see the other with fresh eyes as well as the love that binds you becomes stronger than the argument that separated you. You've simply experienced a shift of consciousness. When we move our state of consciousness, the issues that seemed actual in one state vanish in one more state. They don't get resolved, they get dissolved.

Just as from one point of view it seems like we're encountered with impossible international issues, so something else is additionally happening today, just under the radar, which is affecting millions of people. I gave you a tip of just what that is all regarding 2 weeks earlier in the post I showed you regarding Dave.

Dave didn't address his troubles. He moved his consciousness and also saw points in an entirely different means, and his life restructured itself around his brand-new state of awareness. Many individuals today feel this is occurring to us collectively. And I'm not speaking just regarding new age spiritual woo-woo people using Birkenstocks, consuming granola and also wishing to hug. I imply that well acknowledged think-tanks recommending governments and also industry are identifying that there is a significant shift in cumulative consciousness.

Roger Nelson, until lately a teacher at Princeton, has even attempted to discover means to determine collective awareness scientifically. This change taking place simply under the radar is typically described as "awakening." It starts when a specific expands beyond fixation with "me" as well as acknowledges themselves to be something much higher, deeper, a lot more mysterious.

When many individuals change this way, in a neighborhood or a firm or a church, or perhaps in the country, we could start to likewise talk of "cumulative awakening." My 2005 book "The Translucent Transformation" records exactly how this type of change is influencing both individuals as well as organizations as well as communities.

All of this is occurring rather from our control. There's very little that you and I can do regarding that old structures are falling apart apart-giving some individuals the sensation that the sky is dropping. And there's very little that you and I could do about collective awakening. It's occurring currently on a huge range. Exactly what is necessary for you and also me is exactly how we're going to connect to all this. Many individuals today notice that following couple of years will be a time of extraordinary adjustment for humankind. Taken a look at from one perspective, it may feel like Armageddon, and from one more it could seem like our wildest desires are happening. The difference is in your state of consciousness.

What is actually happening?

In order to recognize what is occurring for everyone, it works to acknowledge a phenomenon that takes place in recuperation from dependency called "bottoming out." Possibly you recognize someone that has been an addict and afterwards entered into recovery. Maybe you've also experienced that process yourself.

When someone is fully immersed in a dependency, they typically do not even recognize they have an issue, and also if someone aims to aim it out they have a tendency to say. It's called denial.

I had some close friends a couple of years ago that experienced this procedure as a household. Jim made use of to quit at bench for a drink or more after work then return. Susan downplayed it. Yet over a few months he came house later on as well as later on, smelling of alcohol. His mood became extra volatile. If anyone questioned him regarding the drinking he came to be defensive. The youngsters, 4 as well as 6 at the time, began to come to be afraid of their papa. When he got back one night and also woke everyone up, Sue attempted to factor with him, and also he hit her.

That was the final straw.

She vacated the next week with the children back to Michigan, and from there you understand the remainder of the tale. Points spiraled down. He entered disagreements at job and after that he shed his work. He maxed out his credit score cards. When he obtained also behind on the home loan repayments he lost his house, as well. As well as he went on drinking. Finally, he wound up in healthcare facility with a liver disease.

From Jim's perspective things couldn't get any even worse. But from the point of view of any individual accustomed to addiction, for the first time Jim was actually all set to face himself. He got out of the hospital, signed up with a twelve action program, stopped drinking, and within months he turned his life around. Currently Jim as well as Sue are back together, and he has ended up being a support to numerous various other people to recuperate from dependency. The means that Jim tells it is that he really did not need to descend completely down into the darkness and after that climb up completely up the various other side. He slid down into the least expensive factor and afterwards gone through a quantum shift. He cracked up of one reality and into another.

You might claim that the procedure that we remain in with each other today is significantly like that: a collective bottoming out. If you're extremely affixed to company customarily, this can appear like completion of whatever. Many well-respected commentators like Lynn Spin, Barbara Marx-Hubbard as well as Peter Russell identify that over the last few years humankind, specifically the US, has actually been on a binge. Like Jim, we've been investing even more than we gain, and obviously the majority of us have been in large denial. If you feel connected to the manner in which points have been, this next phase could be challenging. If, on the other hand, you're open to an entire brand-new paradigm, this could be magnificent. Remarkable. Liberating. The essential distinction remains in exactly how we take care of consciousness.

I am an awakening trainer. That's what I do. I support individuals to go through the change in awareness from being got down right into the story of a "me," to the expansiveness of understanding on your own to be huge, quiet, tranquil, as well as not separate at all. I train other individuals to end up being awakening coaches, as well as to facilitate this shift. Below is some wonderful news: nowadays getting up can be extremely easy. You do not have to transform your ideas or your diet or your lifestyle. You just should agree to ask yourself some easy and also fundamental concerns and to be deeply honest with yourself.

Here are five simple secrets for exactly what you need to be able to pass via the cumulative shift with convenience and also ease:

Discover ways to be totally present: to move your focus fully to just what you're experiencing in this moment.

Learn to distrust your mind. Find ways to acknowledge the messages that your mind is providing you and afterwards not to transform negative messages into positive ones, but to totally free on your own from the limitations of believing all together.

Transform your relationship from other individuals and the atmosphere from one of obtaining to one of giving. Emphasis a lot more on what does it cost? you like than just how much you are loved.

Find the ideal techniques that help you on an everyday basis to neutralize the routines that create feeling separate. Practices should be custom-made. It's not one dimension fits all.

Simplify your life. Locate a means to find just what is really purposeful and meeting to you and also what is simply diversion. Let your life end up being a work of art.

I want to thank you so a lot for your generous reactions to my last article and I look forward to being familiar with you better. I have actually prepared special present from my 'Leap Prior To You Look' publication for you to explore this in the house. You can download and install the PDF by clicking here.