#counselor quotes

[girl-scout-camp]

“Don’t blow up this town you stupid runt” - @i-wanna-linger

[ao3-crack]

(x)

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

pre angelic revelation, the hotel crew goes looking for Vaggie about some managerial thing and regularly finds her kickboxing in a spare room, beating the crap out of a dummy dressed up in an exorcist's gear and mask

a totally normal way to blow off steam, and one that they sometimes also find Charlie spectating at-

("Aren't you supposed to be against all this violence and shit?" - "Yes! But no actual exorcists are being hurt during this stress relief slash training session! So it's OK!" - "Yeah right. And you think your girlfriend looks hot punching stuff huh." - "Hm? Sorry Husk, I wasn't listening- what did you say?" - "......")

which all well and good!

until AFTER the angelic revelation.....

Charlie: "Vaggie. Please don't tell me that's actually YOUR exorcist armor."

Vaggie: "...."

Charlie: "Don't say you've been punching your old exorcist mask, imagining your own face under it."

Vaggie: "......"

Charlie: "I do NOT want to hear that you've been beating up on your past self this entire time- while I was watching! -and using punishing yourself by proxy as a way to cope when you're stressing over feeling like you're not doing enough here and now."

Vaggie: "........."

Charlie: "Vaggie why aren't you SAYING anything!?"

Vaggie: "You told me not to!"

Charlie: "ARGH!!!!"

post revelation, Husk goes looking for Vaggie in the training room like usual, and finds her standing helplessly in front of the exorcist training dummy as a tearful Charlie clings protectively to it with a full body hug

husk decides restocking the bar can wait. he's not getting paid enough to deal with This

[cabin9sblog]

Percy: *About to do something incredibly stupid* Annabeth: I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.

(this works the other way too)

[harringroveera]

Harringrove summer camp counselors AU?

[freddie-77-ao3]

the head counselors meeting: malcolm, holding connor's hand: if you don't sin, drew: jesus died for nothing connor, actively sitting in malcolm's lap: in conclusion, be gay do crime percy: *clapping* everyone else, who shows up to the meetings and know they pull shit like this every five minutes: *sighing*

[achromatophoric]

Wenclairtober 2024, Day 26 - Song Lyric

At Camp Jericho, camp counselors Enid and Wednesday are having a heated discussion away from the campfire, where a frazzled Yoko is trying her best to calm a circle of sobbing children.

Enid: Wednesday Friday Addams, that was most definitely NOT how the song goes!

Wednesday: Of course it was. That is precisely how Pugsley and I performed it back at camp, though with the appropriate props.

Enid: 🤨

Enid: *skeptical* Are you saying that your camp counselors taught you those lyrics?

Wednesday: Don’t be absurd. Those so-called authority figures were beyond worthless.

Enid: *expectant stare*

Wednesday: *sighs* Fine. I will grant that the surviving counselor did contribute to the performance. It would not have been possible without his assistance as both inspiration and visual aid.

Enid: 😨

Enid: Did— Did you say surviving counselor?

Wednesday: *nods* Yes. His luck was twofold. The paramedics were exceptionally talented, and our knives were exceptionally small.

Enid: 😱

— What Wednesday sang. —

[To the tune of the camp song “Black Socks.” YouTube link]

Red socks they never get drier

The more that we stab him the wetter they get

Sometimes I think we should end him

But something inside me says “No no not yet”

"Not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet

Not yet, not yet, not yet"

[Maintain unsettling eye contact with audience and stab victim to the beat during lines 5 and 6.]

[user-name-h3re]

i'm posting these mediocre sketches before school kicks my ass again

[iamrizaka]

they are seven months old

[spiralingemptyness]

*apollo cabin in chaos* Lee: be forced to be the counselor of the second largest cabin at a demi god camp, it’s definitely not fun but your gonna have to do it anyway-

Michael: hey Lee… what if I said that Will is stuck in the rafters, and Kayla is planning on blowing something up with the Stolls-

Lee: THAT’S IT! Next person to do something stupid is going to be on chore duty for two weeks and have their blackmail, that I got from Luke and the Stolls, in front of everyone in this entire camp to see, and if you don’t believe me, I can just give you a tiny demonstration right now…. Now any questions or comments

*apollo cabin in silence*

Lee: good, now someone get Will down from the rafters, if you need me I’m going to be in the infirmary or the range

Michael: wait Lee, how did you get the Hermes cabin to give you blackmail

Lee: simple, for the Stolls, I threaten to tell Luke if I catch them doing anything I know he won’t approve of, the other blackmail, well, the Luke has to get his sources from somewhere

Michael: TRAITOR

epilogue:

Lee: did you know that Kayla was going to commit arson with the Stolls

Luke: commit arson, no, they wouldn’t be able to do that, but I know they were planning on remodeling the Ares cabin…. Again, I’m fine with that.

Lee: what do you mean ‘they wouldn’t be able to do that’

Luke: I already confiscated their ‘pyro supplies’, borrowed some supplies from the Hephaestus cabin to make a more.. fiery prank. It’s a welcome gift for tomorrow, when the Hunters come to visit, and a definite guarantee to give Zoe an aneurysm

Lee: you are worse than the Stolls… which makes this so much better, also how dare you not include me at getting back at the Hunters..

[girl-scout-camp]

“Wiggle you motherfucker” - @i-wanna-linger

[whydoesthiskeepappening]

Will Solace: Me and my boys gonna mess you up

Lee Fletcher: I rolled a one

Michael Yew: I rolled a one

Will Solace: Fuck

[to-trek-or-not-to-trek]

Picard, in Ten Forward: Sometimes I feel like Hamlet, Number One. I am afraid of being paralyzed by indecision, what with the consequences of my position. Do you ever feel the same?

Riker, mildly drunk: Sometimes I feel like Mercutio, because making a pun and then dying instead of seeking medical help sounds like goals.

Picard:

Riker:

Picard:

Troi, grabbing their drinks from them as she awkwardly leaves: As ship's counselor, I'm just going to remind you that my door is always open.

[cabin9sblog]

Nico: it’s funny in movies how they portray sad people. Like, oh my, they’re sitting around in their pyjamas all day, living on the couch, never showering, never fixing their hair. “They have really let themselves go. This must be horrible” Like, that’s just a normal week?? That’s been me every day since I was 4. It’s no big deal. It’s normal.

Will: ...Nico, the light of my life. You are very fucked up. Let’s go get you some therapy, yeah?

[vorta-vortex]

Riker, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.

Troi: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

[freddie-77-ao3]

In TTC Drew: Guess what? Malcolm: What? Drew: No, you have to guess Malcolm, thinking: I don't know Drew: Someone's missing! Guess who! Malcolm: I don't know, Connor's right here.... Connor, eating chips: damn right I am. I'm not moving. Drew: guess whoooooo Malcolm: I don't know?? Drew: Annabeth's missing Malcolm: Malcolm: WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME GUESS THAT??? WHERE IS SHE?! DOES THAT MEAN I HAVE TO BE COUNSELOR? GODDAMNIT DREW DO I HAVE TO BE COUNSELOR FOR WINTER SESSION?? DID SHE HAVE TO GO MISSING WINTER OF ALL SEASONS??? WHY NOT FALL OR SPRING? THIS IS BULLSHIT