#couldnt do campus so now i do online
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
why doesnt my brain work :(
#i couldnt do public school so i went to a private one#couldnt do campus so now i do online#now i cant even do online? why? what is wrong with my brain im tired of it im tired#i couldnt do five assignments every day. so now i do it all on the weekends and have the weekdays off#but now on the weekends when my friends are free and wanna hang out i have to be like no whoops sorry. homework.#and now im not even finishing my homework on time anymore. its monday and ive gotten one step on an assignment done#this isnt working#i cant do this#i want to#i want to so so so bad#i want to be able to so this#please#im so tired#im tired im tired im tired im tired im tired im tired im tired im tired im tired im tired#just let me go make it stop please#ugh.#and my mom is asleep so i cant ask her if i should stop for tonight#..shed probably tell me to stop. or maybe not. maybe shed tell me to pull my shit together. its a complete fucking gamble#thats mean. and probably ableist. its not a gamble i know most of her would tell me to stop for tonight#whatever#i dont know what to do. and neither does she. and im drowning and shes trying to get me out and im trying to get out and im clawing at her#and its hurting her but thats just how it goes i guess
0 notes
Text
hi
hello internet strangers want to hear about my personal life as per usual
well as those familiar w my lore know my title ix case (us-specific college thing where, tldr, if u get sexually assaulted u can do a little mini court case thru ur school) is finally fucking over + i won . which is awesome. unfortunately the respondent (title ix word for "person who did the assaulting") got preeeetty much no sanctions at all . like literally nothing changed . the lawyer recommended they be moved to the other dorm hall but they couldnt, so basically they got put on probation and that's it. Lmao. which means my situation is WORSE than before i filed the complaint, bc b4 i filed the complaint they were in the other dorm hall, and then they moved to mine. but i can't do shit about it unless i want to take my school to, like, court.
well anyway the respondent's life changed in no meaningful way Except they moved out of the dorms last month by their own choice. i assumed that meant they were embarassed abt what they did But i guess not. Bc they've been getting really into on campus events and hanging out in the central building that i like to hang out at. and its like. okay. whatever.
but the thing is . theyve been going to a lot of queer-centric events recently . and while im the only person whos filed a complaint or won a case against them. i am not the only victim i know that for a fact and the other victim is also a queer person. So can you see why im worried about someone who managed to sexually assault two queer people within the first week of living on campus like, integrating themself into the community like nothing fucking happened
and theres this school dance coming up in a couple weeks and im worried that will give them an opportunity to like. hurt someone else.
and i want people to KNow what they did because i dont feel safe with them on campus anyway but i especially dont feel safe now theyre talking to people and making friends (especially bc most of their friends r like. friends of friends. like i dont know them but i know of them yk) . i dont know what theyre saying about me (if anything) and i especially dont know if theyve hurt anyone else. and they might have! because they demonstrated a frankly dangerous lack of regard for consent repeatedly Like i think this is a genuinely dangerous person, whether by malice or stupidity or both, and i dont want anyone else to get hurt
BUT THE KICKER IS...! well first of all we're bound by a no-contact order (baby version of a restraining order). you cant be in the same classes and you cant talk to each other (irl, online, or thru a 3rd person) the title ix coordinator has provided jack shit about what a no contact order actually entails btw lol 😒. But if i were to tell someone and they went and told that person, idk if that would be considered 3rd party contact, which would get Me in trouble
i also dont know if it would be considered "breaking confidentiality" if i said their name- again, don't know jack shit, don't have documentation of the actual rules i'm supposed to be following. but i really dont feel like this is a safe situation for this person to be on campus with no one knowing what they did
im also just generally worried about them finding out ive told people and getting mad and going to the coordinator and me getting in trouble when the only reason im even considering this is bc, again, the school didnt do jack shit
and i dont even know How i would tell aynone . like im not rly friends with most of these people . i see them around and some of them i think are cool but theyre not friends or really even aquaintences . so it would be fucking weird .
but i dont know what to do and i dont want anyone else to get hurt . and i know thats not on Me, but. i also dont want to sit back and Know. and not say anytthing
#text#sa tw#neg#i really dont know what to do here#and it's so frustrating bc imo i shouldnt have to do anything bc they shouldnt be on campus at all but WHAT EVERRR#🗒️#personal
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi, I just read your post about hiperfixations and
I'm sorry if its inconvinient right now, take your time you dont have to answer right away, but its just that Ive been following this blog for a long time already and you seem to know a lot about it and I dont have anyone else I could ask about it but like I really need to know and
Do you think adhd is a thing that could use some medication like I've done some research about it and adhd drescriptions feel like someone stole my diary and exposed it online
Like I'm serious I'm failling in college and I've been dreaming of this course for like 6 year already like I KNOW I love it the same way I loved so many others things I've lost just because I couldnt manage to remember the things I know
Ok sorry I guess I'm ramblig a bit right now
Its just that like I KNOW if I end up giving this up and years later I find out some medication could have solved my brain like like girl I'm genuinely scared
Sorry for the long ask
i don’t speak for anyone else, i know not everyone likes medication or even benefits from it, but from my personal experience: yes, absolutely medicine can be a life-saver. for me, my adhd is seriously interfering with my school work, to the point where it’s almost impossible for me to submit anything by a deadline. i need medication to function to the standards imposed by my school and that’s okay. i’m actually currently in the process of getting medication for my adhd from my campus clinic because without it, i will likely fail. so if you think medication will help you and you’re not doing well without it, it’s worth considering. there will likely be a test period as well to see how you react to medication and you can sort of go from there to see if it’s right for you. i wish you all the best <3
92 notes
·
View notes
Text
damn allowed myself to want things for a day and all i want is a van to live in, knowledge, freedom, weight loss, and a bass guitar.
im. happy with that i think. im proud of me, no jokes. im proud of being able to want things and care about them and vibrate towards them with longing. im... pleased with that. its fulfilling in a way Not Wanting For Anything isnt, because thats... kinda hollow. empty. in a vacant, lonely, yearning and grieving and SAD way. maybe because i Couldnt Want then. i Couldnt Desire or it would be used against me or taken away. that sucks. that sucked.
and now. im free to want again. and comparatively???? i think im very much never going to aim for buddhism or that weird Not Desiring Not Attached Nirvana mindset. like good for u but been there out of trauma and its not fun theres no reason to truly Live. u just float endlessly and experience and it aches so badly!!!! it hurts to want to want and not be able to. and i guess that is different from not wanting at all but... its not different enough for me to justify ever going back to that. or going forward to that. i just got this back and screw enlightenment if it means i have to give up on my passions i dont think life is worth living without it.
and anybody who looks down on that from a spiritual tower has yet to examine their own pride and how empty they feel without it.
anybody who looks down and smiles and wishes me luck on my journey? good for them. im glad theyre living their best life, on their journey as they see fit.
and i feel the need to protect myself because ive been hurt by the pride- the arrogance of others before. a lot of my hurts and traumas stem from my mother being too prideful to recognize that she can be wrong and someone under her power could be correct over her. and it was an uncomfortable truth. so she denied it was one at all and hurt me. i know the reason could be elaborated on. she didnt want to confront her own internal logic. or trauma. or even doublethink. that doesnt excuse her hurting a child for the sake of her sense of pride, of comfort, of self-worth. a child under her power, that she claimed to be parent of. teacher of.
not owing anyone anything is not the same as not hurting anyone. i havent reconciled that yet. oppressors should be held accountable for their mistakes, and give reparations if the harm is physical at LEAST. and i think that applies to politics, yes. privately though? if i beat up a nazi, i dont want to pay for his hospital bills. my personal philosophy struggles between equating people and ideas as a worth measurement, and realizing that that line of thinking is... similar to oppressors. but. its based on something people can change. the question is, do i think "if given the opportunity" is a good enough reason to stop and question a racist that runs their mouth? and do i think pre-emptive violence is okay? if say, a nazi walks into a bar and doesnt say anything but is wearing all the red flags and bells and whistles. i dont think that justifies a beatdown. being asked to leave, sure, but the beatdown doesnt start til the first remark flies.
once the intent is given OR the action is taken, the line is drawn. doesnt matter if they Havent Had The Chance. if theyre starting shit outside of debate spaces like that, and not, say, asking questions, theyre not looking for new perspectives, and it is NOT my job to educate people. its not my job to Show People The Light. a quick fucking google search could tell them why theyre wrong. if they havent put even the most basic energy into questioning their beliefs, thats on them.
it sounds like im trying to absolve myself of blame here. largely because. i think i should go out and help educate people because theyre inherently complacent if theyre, yknow, in a position of power. aka white folk and men and rich folk and cis folk and on and on and on. these people dont live my reality. they dont live the reality of a gay black man in the south, or a genderqueer lesbian in the west, or an indigenous woman whose nation is being targeted, or a muslim woman who cannot wear her headcoverings in the face of danger of death, or an asian immigrant who cant get a job because of COVD age discrimination resurging. we will never live each others realities, but we can become aware of them.
they wont come into awareness without someone asking or telling, and then doing something to change them.
we shouldnt need to go running to people in power for them to be aware of problems in the populace, govt is supposed to help and solve issues like this. like. actively. thats the whole point, make life better for the countrys citizens. and individuals in a position of social power...
are individuals who didnt take on a responsibility to protect and serve or otherwise care for the populace of a nation. i personally think they SHOULD care, but they are not obligated to. i cant make them care about others.
and honestly, on some of them, it would be a waste of time. there are people who want to change or question things and yknow what? they seek out answers. in people or places or online usually. stats and stories.
so like. i dont think someones Potential as a person matters when theres a throwdown about to happen. it really isnt my responsibility to save people from themselves or try to change their sides against their will. if they want to chat about it they can ask questions first.
not throw insults or punches or hatred.
what people have been taught is worth analyzing and trying to correct IN SOCIETY but i cant fix every broken white boy that comes to me. PSAs, fliers, outreach, online videos, debate spaces. those are things i already have access to and can be a part of if i really want to go around changing minds. or yknow. get involved in legislation and be myself around others to change their perceptions of whats socially acceptable or normal. maybe protest, maybe call congressfolk, etc.
but not every comment has to be analyzed or a learning opportunity. im allowed to shut it down, and people can respect that or stop talking to me. this isnt my parents house where i had to justify everything that i said or did when scrutinized, and doubly justify any criticism i had of mother, or any joke i frowned at instead of smiling.
these people dont have that power over me. they arent my mother. they arent my boss, and if they are i can fuck off and get a new job if necessary. they dont have financial control over my living space and food and schooling and physical control of where i can go and with who and for how long. I CONTROL THAT. I do.
Huh. maybe thats why i want a van so bad. i mean... when this lease ends if nobody is gonna end up living with me...
i could just... live in my car and shower at truck stops. get a storage unit for my stuff. save by driving jobs. like 40 to 60 a day. tear out my cars back, insulate it, and install my mattress pad there. water on the floor, cooler next to it, wooden cutting coard, knife, single camping plateware set, and another little shelf for spices. maybe a hot plate i can hook up to the car battery? get a long enough usb and it might be doable. i could go camping and open the trunk to just... vibe.
because yeah, honestly? i dont plan on having a solid apartment for a bit. like a long bit. and i still have like 70000 miles on my car before itll want to go. and by that point, even at like 100 miles a day, thats like 2 years, less if i go cross country in that vehicle. i could save up SO MUCH for a better vehicle, or like. college. live on campus, get some credit, continue working after i figure out want i want to do.
i think thats a solid plan, even if i dont get another apartment and put everything in storage. work as i need to instead of all the time for rent, really only paying for gas, car repairs, car ins, food, and phone data/hotspot internet... that would bring my monthly expenses down to like 500 a month max instead of like 1400. id only need to make some 1000 a month doing contract stuff to save for taxes and stuff. anything extra would be just that: extra for savings and things. holy shit.
depending on how this next month goes for my friends, holy s h i t.
i. i might do this. legitimately.
i. dont think i can yet. i need proof of address to get my license im pretty sure? but hey, thatll be my 21st this year, so. once i have that i wont need a new address for a While. i dont know if ill want one, really.
i could always just ask a friend or family member if i could use theirs for mail that cant go to a PO box.
anyway. yeah. wow.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Jakes Surprise (Part 2 Final)
(Warning~ This story does not contain vore or any sexual components.)
Jakes bf turned to me and looked down, thinking about what the plan was. While he thought I opened my suit case and grabbed Jakes Bday gift. I couldn’t wait till tomorrow so I wanted to give it to him when he saw I was here for birthday. Once I got it out and placed it to the side, Jakes bf had an idea.
Jakes bf~”I got it Cal, I’m gonna act like I have a early surprise for him like a present. Then I’m gonna tell him to cover his eyes and I’ll bring you out and we will surprise him.”
Me~” That’s perfect, okay we got a game plan. Alright u go get jake and I’ll wait here until u come and get me.”
Jakes bf left and went to go get Jake, I stood there waiting for him and while he did that I put my clothes in the dresser. Jakes bf came in right after I was done and gestures me to come slowly and quietly. I took off my shoes so he couldnt hear two sets of shoes and walked with him. We got to the living room when I saw my buddy Jake standing there eyes covered.
Jake~” come on bud what’s the surprise, you didn’t get a puppy or something cuz I don’t think we’re ready for that kind of commitment.”
Jakes bf~” not quite a puppy but your going to love it, it’s something you would never have expected and you will most likely never forget it.”
Jake~”surprises are scary when I’m not the one doing them can I open my eyes yet!!”
I stood in front of him and jakes bf counted from three.
Jakes bf~” 3, 2, 1 open your eyes jake!!!!! Happy Birthday!!!!”
Jake opens his eyes real quick and his eyes widened as he froze in shock.
Me~” how’s this for a birthday surprise Jake, Happy Birthday my friend.”
Jake finally came to and jumped in excitement and screamed “OMG CAL, is it really you?!!! WTF I thought u were in Texas. Omg bro I’m crying COME HERE give me a hug.!!!!”
Jake ran to me and gave me the biggest hug I had ever received, a tear feel down the my cheek as I finally met in real life my best bud jake. We probably hugged for a solid 2 mins, you would think that two brothers had been reunited after years apart. After the hugging and some crying stopped, Jake couldn’t believe it. He turned to his bf and asked him if he had anything to do with it. He shocked his head yes and jake hugged and kissed his bf, he came back to me and hugged me again.
Jake~” Cal this is the best Birthday present I have ever gotten, thank you so much. I’m so happy and excited, wait how long are you staying. It’s just just till tomorrow right?”
Me~”Haha Love you jake and happy birthday, naww I’m satying for a week bud. So we can go do lots of stuff.”
Jake~” Are you serious a whole week? OMG YES, I can’t wait to show u around and have fun. What should we do first? Maybe the university I’d love to show u around or the museum, maybe the park.”
Me and Jakes bf~” slow down Jake, we can do all of those things haha.”
Cal~”so now that you got to see ur bfs big present, would u like to open mine?”
Jake~”You got me a gift too, aww Cal thanks. Let’s see it”
I tell jake to stay there and I go into the guest room and pick up the presents. All neatly wrapped in a box. I head back out and hand it to Jake.
Cal~”here you go bud hope you like it.”
Jake sits down on the couch and opens the wrapping, he gets a knife and cuts the box open. The box opens and jake takes out a bottle wrapped in tissue paper. He tears the tissue paper off and smiles. Then looks up at me.
Cal~”I know it’s not much bud, but I promised to give that to you when I visited u for the first time. Do u like it?”
The gift was a Roger Staubach Dr. Pepper two liter bottle, I promised Jake one day while we were talking. That I would personally deliver that bottle to him, most people would think it wasnt worth anything. For me and Jake tho it represented our friendship, he hated the Dallas Cowboys but he was a sports fan and it came from me. He smiled at me and said,
Jake~”I cant believe you remembered to bring it Cal, thanks this means so much to me. Every time I look at it, I will remember this day and how u made me feel. This to me is better then any expensive gift because this comes from you and it means a lot to you.”
The bottle wasn’t worth but 15 bucks, I had picked it up and some garage sale. The worth was that it was a gift to my dear friend Jake. That’s what made it priceless in his eyes. He put it one the table and stood up and went over to me. He hugged me again and said thank you for everything, your my best friend. Meeting jake for the first time was the best day so far of my life. After his gift, he gave me a beer and we sat down to watch an old Syracuse game that was probably ten years old. We laughed and talked me Jake and his bf, I had a great night. We talked about the future and the past. The present and random stuff, I wouldn’t trade that for anything. The day ended and we all went to sleep, the following day Jakes bf made me and Jake a birthday breakfast and we discussed what we would do today. Jake was really excited to show me his campus.
So after we ate we all got ready and went out, he showed me around his campus. It was beautiful and then we went out to a pizza place cuz i wanted to try some NY pizza. It was a the best pizza ever haha, the next day and following rest of the week was so much fun. We went to see a movie, a museum and we even drove four hours so I could see the 9/11 memorial and the Statue of Liberty. The vacation I decided to take was the best trip of my life and I loved every minute of it. Jake and his bf were sad on the final morning before I had to leave. The end turned out like the beginning, lots of hugs and a little crying. I was saddened to go home but I told them I would be back as soon as I could, and told jake and his bf to surprise me in Texas when they could. With that we said goodbye and I left home for Texas. I will never forget meeting my best friend Jake, and having an awesome week. Now that I met him, I felt closer then ever to him. He was like my brother I never knew I had, you wonder how someone u meet online can make a huge impact on ur life and then when u meet them. They turn out to make and even bigger impact on ur life.
Right when I got on my plane jake went out to get the mail. It was a birthday card and he opened it, happy birthday jake. Hope you loved ur gift and I know I’m writing this in advance but I love you bud and I’m so happy I got to meet u. See you soon bud!!!
That’s where the story ends everyone, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAKE. I love you so much, u mean so much to me and hopefully one day that’s how us meeting will go. @texanstrongjake
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
our campus: chapter 4 (tom holland fanfic)
summary: frat!tom and reader go to the same college and y/n is tasked with being his tutor, they don’t really get along at first (because i love reader and tom hating each other trope)
warnings: none ?????
word count: 2.1k
a/n: so many texts and so much dialogue fuckin kill me also texts are bold
for a list of characters click here
to be added to the tag list send me an ask !
masterlist
✰✰✰✰✰
“I don’t know what you did to get her to give you a second chance, but I need to warn you.” Ally said. Tom turned to look at her, they had only ever spoken when necessary for theater stuff.
“Warn me?” He asked.
“Y/N can make your life either very, very good or very, very bad. She has most of the professors in this school wrapped around her pinky. And she doesn’t make it obvious, but she’s the smartest person I’ve ever met. She can really help you if you let her.”
“Well, thanks.” He said awkwardly and turned back to his stuff.
“One more thing.” Ally said. Tom turned again and raised his eyebrows. “Don’t you dare catch feelings.” “Seriously? No need to worry about that.” Ally scoffed.
“I’m serious, Tom. Don’t. She doesn’t need that right now.”
“Yeah, fine, I get it.” He said.
“Alright guys let’s get started.” Gigi said, signaling rehearsal was about to start.
* * *
It was finally Friday, and your phone was blowing up as you walked to the library. Class had gotten out late, so you were walking as fast as possible so you wouldn’t be late to your meeting with Tom.
Al
if Y/N is ok with it its fine with me
Iz
i still dont know how i feel about this
Em
pretty pretty please guys i really like this guy and he really wants me to go
You
what are we talking about i was in class
Al
harrison invited em and all of us to the delt party tonight
Iz
and i said we shouldnt go bc of what happened
plus isnt tom a delt? wouldnt that be a bit awk?
You
honestly i couldnt care less. after the week ive had im gonna too blacked to even realize where we are
Em
lets take it to a vote
aye
Al
aye
Iz
nay
You
im abstaining
Em
the ayes have it! delt BABEEEYYYY
ill have harrison put us all on the list
You
glad we got that sorted ill see u guys at mine at 8
You walked into the library, checking your watch and seeing it was 4:02. You bit your lip. Hopefully he didn’t give you any crap for being late.
You walked quickly into hlab, and you knew you looked like a crazy person. Your bag was falling off your shoulder, you had a coffee in your hand and your water bottle tucked under your arm, and your phone in your other hand.
You scanned the room and saw Tom sitting across from Max, both of them had books out.
“Hi,” you said breathlessly. Max slid over a seat so you could sit across from Tom. “So sorry I’m late, crazy day.”
“No worries dar-” You heard him start to say darling, but stopped himself. “No worries. It’s only 2 minutes after.”
“How long have you been waiting?” You asked.
“Max and I have been hanging out for a while, not a big deal.”
“Speaking of, I’m on alc duty for tonight so I better go.” Max said, did his stupid handshake with Tom, and walked out.
Hlab was almost empty except for some freshman. Most people don’t like studying on a Friday, who could blame them?
“So I got a copy of your lectures from this week. What do you want to start with?”
“I don’t care.”
“Ok, what is currently confusing you the most?” He thought for a second before saying “Astronomy.” You nodded.
“Great, grab your notes and your textbook.” He pulled out a notebook and his laptop, opening the online textbook. You pulled out your laptop and a pen and highlighter.
“May I?” You asked and pulled his notebook to your side. You went through his notes, circling certain things with the pen and highlighting others.
“These are really good, Tom. I like how you put question marks next to things that confused you.” He laughed.
“Do I get a gold star?” He joked. You rolled your eyes.
“So phases of the moon.” You started.
“Wait a second,” he said after you had been talking for a while. “You’re telling me that the moon doesn’t actually, like, change?”
“It’s all shadows.” You replied. He nodded and seemed to finally be getting it.
“The phases will most definitely be on your next lab, which isn’t open note, so make sure you memorize them.” You said. “Let’s move onto stats.” He groaned. “What?” You asked.
“Statistics is so stupid. Letters and numbers shouldn’t go together.” You rolled your eyes.
“Stats is easy, I promise you. This is the first unit, all we’re doing is descriptive statistics and graphing. Let’s start with some vocab.” You said, highlighting certain words in his notes.
Once you could see his brain was about to explode, you moved onto writing.
“There’s not much to talk about, just email me your most recent paper so I can go through it and look for themes we need to discuss.”
‘“Themes?” He asked.
“You know, on going issues that need to be addressed.” He nodded and emailed you his paper, which you would read tomorrow. You heard your phone buzz and took a quick glance.
Em
al dont be upset
Al
then dont give me a reason to get upset
what is it
Em
……….. It’s themed
Al
are you kidding? were not freshmen, i dont wanna go to a stupid themed frat party
Em
its blackout !!!! itll be fun i promise
You turned your phone back down and didn’t realize you had an upset look on your face.
“Everything ok?” He asked.
“Just arguing in the group chat.”
“Do you need to go?” He asked.
“No, no, just arguing about tonight.”
“What’s tonight?”
“Tonight is not related to political conflict, which is what we should be talking about.” He laughed.
“Do you ever have fun?”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m serious, do you ever have fun, or do you just go to sleep surrounded by planners and textbooks.”
“That’s not funny. There’s a lot more about me that you don’t know.”
“Clearly.”
“So we’re starting off with socioeconomic issues over time and the class strugle. Did you read the Marx chapters?”
“Yup. Didn’t understand a word of it.”
“Ok, let’s get into it.” You said and began rambling about the bourgeoisie and the communist manifesto. Politics was your favorite subject, you could talk about it for hours.
You were having a really good discussion with Tom. It was global political conflict, and he was able to connect the themes to both America and England, which made you really pleased.
You were pulled out of your discussion when your phone vibrated.
Iz
pickin up panera anyone want anything
“Jeez it’s already past 6:30, I gotta go.” You said.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” He said.
“No it’s not your fault, I get so into politics I lose track of time.” “I can tell.” He said as you both packed up your stuff.
“Wanna grab some food?” He asked.
“Sorry, can’t,” you said.
“Why, got a hot date?” He joked.
“Maybe,” you said.
“At least let me walk you to wherever you’re going.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Well where are you going?”
“Congression Hall?” You replied.
“Wait, you live there?”
“Uhm, yes? Me along with practically every other junior.”
“What floor?”
“8.” You said.
“Should’ve guessed.” He replied as you started walking across the quad.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Honors 8. I forgot you were in hc.” He was referring to the eighth and top floor of Congression Hall, which was reserved for the honors college juniors.
“Yeah.” You said simply.
“I’m on six, by the way.” He said. “That’s why I was curious. I’ve never seen you around there.”
“I’m not usually, I only really use it for sleep.”
“Of course,” he replied.
“I assumed you lived in a frat house.” You commented.
“Nah, next year.” He said with a wink. “Speaking of frat houses, there’s kind of this party going on at Delt tonight-”
“I’m aware.” You said, cutting him off.
“Ah, well, if you want I can get you on the list.” You smiled to yourself.
“No need, I’m already on the list.” You said.
“Oh?” He said, clearly embarrassed. “Because of delta nu?”
“Nope.” You said, not offering any other information.
“Well maybe I’ll see you there then.”
“Even if you do see me there, I will be pretending I don’t know you.”
“Why?” He asked, clearly offended. “I run that house.” He joked, trying to play off the embarrassment.
“No offense, but your reputation would not be good for mine.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well I have a certain reputation in the greek community, and if people see me with you they’ll get the wrong idea.”
“The wrong idea?” He asked as you walked in the lobby of your building.
“Well, see, the thing is,” you said, stepping into the elevator. He pressed the button for six and eight. “I have certain standards. If people see me with you, they’ll think I’ve…”
“Wow, you are really uptight, aren’t you?”
“Excuse me?”
“Certain standards? Jesus christ, you’re not the queen, Y/N. And I don’t have a bad reputation. But god forbid I don’t live up to your ‘standards.’” He said, storming off the elevator without another word, clearly upset. You sighed. Good job, Y/N.
Tom got to his room and threw his stuff on the floor, collapsing on his bed. His head hurt from all the tutoring, and trying to focus on not staring at your lips.
delt juniors
Tom
aight important question guys
Cal
whats up tommy
Tom
do you guys know a girl called Y/N Y/L/N? shes a delta nu
Joey
dan knows her ;)
Cal
fuck, Y/N? what are you doing with her?
Tom
shes tutoring me stop buggin
Max
i know her which u know shes in hc with me
Liam
oh danny DEFINITLY knows her
Will
who doesnt know Y/N? shes a hot commodity
Tom
what do you mean?
Cal
shes like the perfect girl next door, totally hot and so smart which just makes her hotter
Will
doesnt help that shes a huge fuckin flirt AND can hold her alc
Joey
dan is being suspiciously quiet……..
Dan
shut up joe
Liam
care to share with tommy your story with Y/N, daniel?
Dan
i hate u all
fine
i was like in love with her freshman year
and i thought she was into me too
and we made out a couple of times but nothing else
the second she found out i was in delt she stopped talking to me
like complete radio silence
Tom
wtf? Why?
Cal
she doesnt fuck with delts
thats like common greek knowledge
Will
maybe its because shes gonna be dchi sweetheart?
Joey
nah theres gotta be something else
Harrison
well i just put her on the list for tonite
Tom
wait YOU put her on the list?!
Harrison
yeah i invited her friend Emily Gold and she doesnt go anywhere without Y/N and these two other girls
Cal
Ally Park and Isabelle Miller
Harrison
yeah howd u know?
Cal
theyre like those cool girls from high school everyones obsessed with that are just out of everyones league
Tom
wow american high schools are so weird
Dan
tom if u wanna get with her i wont be pissed
Tom
nah like you said she hates delts, and after three tutoring sessions with me i guarentee i am her least favorite delt ever
Liam
theres no fuckin way she shows up tonight
she wouldnt be caught dead at a delt party
Noah
wait you said Y/N Y/L/N may come tonight????
DIBS
DIBS DIBS DIBS
I CALL DIBS
Cal
noah u seriously show up just to call dibs?
Noah
yeah bro have u seen her? if she comes tonight and any of you try to cockblock me i stg ill deck you
Dan
pretty sure tommy has rightful dibs to this one
Tom
nah fam she hates me so fuckin much
let noah try his luck
i doubt she’ll even show
Max
she’ll show.
Tom
what makes u say that?
Liam
max does know her best
Max
she and ally and emily and isabelle are ride or die. they circulate who picks what party they go to and if its emilys turn and harrison somehow conviced her to go, Y/N wont miss it
Dan
she hasnt set foot in a delt house since freshman year, you seriously think she’ll show?
Max
five bucks says she does
Dan
youre on
Noah
i just wanna make it clear
that if she does show
D I B S
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
My hippie math teacher was real garbage.
So some background: as a kid, I’ve always been pretty good at math. It was always my best subject, I’d catch onto concepts easily, but I hated it. Not because math was hard or anything, but because no matter how much I hoped, my math teacher would always be the type that would be like “Use the formula I gave you or it’s wrong.” Now, see, my mind works in what others call “a super weird way.” Every time I was taught a new concept in math, I wouldn’t use the formula that the teacher gave us because I’d have a hard time remembering it and I thought it was too time consuming and expanded. Instead, I’d come up with a more efficient, step skipping formula that worked just as well.
Other students would ask me how I do the math so fast, and when I shared the formula with them, they found it much easier and did it just as fast.
So rewind to 7th grade. I was like, 12 or something at the time. I had finally got a good teacher that allowed freedom for multiple formulas because “math is math.” We had her for about a few months, and I really liked her teaching. She got into a freak car accident and took her leave, and from what other staff members told me, she was “lucky to even survive.” I never knew how bad the crash really was, but from what I was told, she cheated death. Staff said she was supposed to come back in a few months, and until then, we would have a long-term substitute.
Before I knew about the accident, I walk to class over in the way corner of my school. At the time, I remember having a class right before that was on the opposite corner of school, so I’d often be late if I walked too slow. So, I turn the corner of the building and notice there’s no students waiting outside, meaning the teacher had already opened the door. Unusual, but I checked the time, and I was earlier than normal. So, I knocked on the door. I waited and waited for someone to open the door, because usually it’s the nearest student to the door who opens it. I knock. And knock. It’s about a few minutes of constant knocking until someone opens the door, but he’s looming above me.
When I look up, it’s a new teacher, long hair and a beard, kind of looks like Jesus. Yes, he was a hipster. He opened the door right after the late bell and said “you’re late.” I explained to him I had been knocking the past few minutes and nobody answered the door, to which he responds “That’s because I told them not to. You should have been here when I opened the door to begin with.” I wanted to explain I had a far away class and I couldn’t be considered late since the late bell didn’t ring, but he didn’t take any of it. I had to go to detention that day.
So, let’s call this teacher Mr. Hippie for convenience. I sat next to my friend, lets nick him Bro, and ask what’s the deal with this guy. Bro tells me that I’ve already made a bad impression, told him to elaborate, to which he explains the whole accident long term sub thing.
So to summarize the first part of his teaching, he didn’t actually teach us anything. Instead, we did completely pointless activities that have nothing to do with math. One of these activities was a class game where we had to tell each other a list of jokes and whoever got the most laughs got the most points and won the game.
So we read these jokes that we’ve been given, and it’s a list of inappropriate jokes. They were all pretty racist, sexist, etc which we already knew he was extremely prejudiced based on his everyday, passing language towards us (some include “girls have good handwriting because they waste their time practicing their letters” and “the only guys that climb mount everest are white dudes because they’re the dumbest people out there” and “girls wouldn’t get raped if they just stop overestimating their strength” whatever that one even means). I can’t think of all the jokes off the top of my head, but here’s some I remember:
Why are religious Jamaicans obese? Because at church they chant “Praise the Lard.” What’s Miley Cyrus’ favorite food? Roast twerky. Why can’t the Kardashian’s swim? Because they have more plastic in their butts than in the whole ocean.
I objected against playing this stupid game because of all the offensive jokes in it, some of which I related to and was offended by. He sent me out of class that day. Bro got sent out eventually as well, because instead of using the offensive jokes, he said a stupid knock knock joke that made the class laugh out of pure stupidity. “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Pizza delivery guy. I burned your pizza because it had pineapple on it. Bad move, cuz.”
At some point when we actually started learning math, Hippie was a douche, He did the same old same old docking me points for not using his formula thing. We were doing white board problems, to which he forced me to do the most complex ones. When I did them correctly and showed my work, he’d think I was wrong until he checked his calculator. Bad move. So, instead, he erases my work off the board in front of literally the whole class, and says to me dead in the eye: “You didn’t show your work.” So, I said, “Alright, I’ll show my work.” So I did. Again. And he erased it. By that point, I was fed up with his bull, so I just left it at that.
When we took tests, we would grade the papers as a class. He would tell us the answers, to which he’d screw up on middle school level questions. Every time I got a different answer, I would ask him to do it on the board, and that would prove he was wrong and I was right. He hated me more for asking questions.
Every time I “technically” got a question wrong, he would call me an idiot, slow, stupid, etc. etc. and even passed a few “maybe if you were a guy you’d be more useful.” I tried telling this to the teachers, but they weren’t having it. I tried waiting until he would finally leave, but info came out that our teacher wasn’t coming back, so we’d have him even longer. So naturally, I did some digging.
Bro and I searched his full name up online and found an admittedly hidden link to his Instagram account, which I won’t leak, but it was golden. He posed himself literally as Jesus, with several sexual and racial posts and memes. He had solid evidence of smoking weed and vaping off campus too, and it looked like he was also becoming the path to an antivaxxer at some point. Some posts included things like “You can’t cure cancer, yet you take away our medicine?” Followed by a picture of weed or something of that sort.
Though it wasn’t exactly what I wanted him fired for, I brought it up with the counselor. She said they’d look into it. While it was followed up by several other students, I was walking home one day when I saw Hippie with a big bag of what looked like posters as he threw it in his trunk and drove off. We came back one day to a brand new, female teacher. Posters that Hippie put up were gone, just like the ones he threw in his trunk the other day. She explained to us the old teacher had been fired for suspicious online activities, and will likely have a hard time ever getting a new job. Since then, the Hippie’s name had been removed from the account, but it’s still up and running by him.
We had that new teacher for the rest of the school year, which wasn’t exactly long, but she did teach us math and threw us a big party on the last day of school, though she still didn’t approve of alternate formulas. Sorry this was quite a long one, fellas, but I thought it was worth sharing.
TL;DR: Got a math teacher fired for his inappropriate Insta after he made sexual jokes and racial slurs and straight up insulted me for months.
(source) story by (/u/TheAcidicFire)
358 notes
·
View notes
Text
I did it
One year ago today I finished highschool. One year ago today I finished the toughest journeys of all times. Highschool was probably one of the worst experiences of my life. There was so many people who ruined it but there was so many people who made it better for me. My freshman year I attempted suicide and was admitted to a mental hospital and and no school wanted to take me in. At the time Fir Ridge Campus didn’t take in freshman. So I had no choice but to drop out. David Douglas straight up told me that I couldnt go there. I had too many problems and They couldn’t give me an education. In spring of my freshman year I enrolled in an online school called metro east web academy. Of course with all my mental health issues I had no motivation to do any of it. In the end I only got one credit for it. And that was for creative writing. I’m with ICTS which is where people come outd to your house three times a week for therapy. So I was with them for six months. It was hard saying goodbye. But then I went yo seeing a therapist once a week. I was still cutting often. But back to my schooling, I didn’t do anything and my mom was so pissed at the david doglas school district because the refused to put me in a school and finally she wrote a three page nasty letter saying how I needed to be in a school and thats how I got to fir ridge.
My freshman year I was so scared. I couldn’t tell you how scared I was. I didn’t go to school. I was fucked up in the head, cutting and I didn’t know anyone. So I didn’t really talk to anyone on my first day. But within a few days I met a small group of friends that I could relate to. Which was great. The next best thing was that there was a school counselor and a therapist that came to the school. So on top of going to seeing a therapist once a week I went to see him once a week. He was from Trillium services. He was a great therapist. I saw him from 45 minutes to an hour. My school counselor was mamed Michael and he was probably the best counselor anyone could ask for. He understood me. When I needed my space he let me sit in the office or library and do my work. When I had my mental break downs he gave me a quiet space. He was amazing. I have terrible anxiety with loud noises and whenever we had a firedrill I would cry and have a panic attack when there was he warned me and brought me to the office telling me when so I wasnt as afraid. As I said. He was the best school counselor anyone could ask for.
I had this friend. Her name was Iris. I cared for her so so much she was my first friend I made in middle school and she went to a diffent school but she had problems at the time and so she was looking into my school and I was thrilled. But before ahe came she also had issues and so she went to a rehab place. I called her family every day to see how she was doing. I sent flowers and cards because well, wouldn’t a best friend do that? When she got out she started at Fir Ridge Campus a bit later. I was so happy we reunited again. We started having sleep overs and everything. Okay? But one time during a sleepover she stole her parents credit card and bought something, which was a peircing kit and I had no idea so she came to my house when it was delivered and took it before I was home. I’ll also mention around two years ago she stole my ipod. But anyway so this happened and it happened once more but with tea but ahe sent it to her house instead of mine. So her mom was like “you arent ever allowed to see her again” blaming me for her daughter peircing herself. That was the hardest thing for me to hear because she was my best friend. Or so I thought she was. I believe this was all happening during my Junior year or late sophomore I cant remember it was so hectic. Ill come back to this bitch a little bit later.
But my Junior year I did this amazing thing called camp pheniox. That was the second the best and worst part of highschool. Its a two day overnight camp plus 4 weeks of after care. During the two nights you broke yourself down talking about the horrible things in life and at the end you are rebuilding yourself and raising up into a pheniox. During the process you did multiple activites which were happy, sad and heartbreaking realizing how fucked up and broken you were on the inside. One of the days you clumb a tree and tell everyone what you committ to. And I said I committ to my family and my support system. And then you had to walk on a tightrope with another person and jump when you couldnt do it anymore. And the other classmates are completely in control of the rope and your harness. Then the second activity we did was get in a harness and go up and your classmates pull you up until you say stop. Basically a gaiant swing okay. So I was letting go past teachers which I will get on explaining to more. And then letting in good teachers and then you yank it and I did a 90 foot free fall and holy shit was that fun. As i said it was the best and wors part of it because i landed up in teen intensive outpatient because I was cutting and I was extremely depressed.
But back to the teacher thing. There was a history teacher her name was Karen and she was a bitch to me. She hated me. And She KNEW i struggled with anxiety and she KNEW that I hated being with loud people and so I always needed to go to the office to see a counselor and I always finished up my work at home. And finally she was like you have to go to detention to finish this. And so Im in the office complete sobbing and my council waves it off. And other time with her was when my counselor talked to her about it she didnt talk to me for 3 DAYS like seriously she was so immature. Then When I came back from thr weekend she didnt call on anyone else but me. Then at the end of the week there was a new seating chart and I came in late because I was talking yo the trillium therapist okay and she shows me my seat and Im calm and I say no. And shes like yes. And I calmly explain to her why I cant go sit next to him because be gave me anxiety. And then she PROCEEDS to yell at me infront of the whole class who is now stairing at me and Im completely crying now infront of the class go to the principals office to fucking write me a refferl because i was arguing with her. Which the princapal immediately threw it out. The princapal at the time was absolutely amazing. She took me out on the track as I cried and walked with me.
So my junior year is happening and I went to camp pheniox and outdoor school it was great okay. So I went to outdoor school for my third session and I broke my ankle and had to stay home for a week and you remember this Iris girl who is my best friend??? Well not anymore. When I was away at outdoor school where I couldn’t DEFEND myself she went to the counselor and said. That I raped her and drugged her with majauana. And In like balling my eyes out because Im so fucking confused and why she did that. And so the counselor literally asked if I did it and Im like what the fuck do you really think I did it. And Im like crying at her because Im so upset. Like who in the right mind would accuse someone of rape. I mean I work with children. I was a swim instructor at the time. If she went to the police I could’ve been arrested and fired from my job which she didnt go because she knew she was a lying skank ass bitch. Also they couldve drug tested me because I wasnt even smoking at the time! And so Im in the office and my counselor is like “what are you feeling?” And I littlerly upfront say” I want to punch this bitch in the face,” she she looked at me “you cant do that” and Im like “no shit I cant do it. I want to but tgat doesnt mean I am going to.” And she sighs like after and hour of fuming she tells me Im not allowed to tell ANYONE and Im like fine whatever.
But I go to my momma jill and tell her and I like an crying to her and shes just holding me. But seriously then the vice principal calls me in during third period to talk more about what happened ALSO i had a freaking alliby because I was at fucking teen Intensive outpaitent during the time she accused me! Basically it was a whole clusterfuck
. It got 100% worse when there was an assembly and youll never guess who was running it the skank ass Iris. So she started talking about rape. And then she says “someone here raped me” and then she looked over at me. I kid you not. And my dad was there and he stood up and I cant remember exactly what he said but it was along the lines of “you shouldnt accuse anyone of rape either,” he said or something like that Im to busy crying and my teacher holding my hand. Finally my dad comes over to me and says were leaving. So my worst fear now the whole school knows that Iris accused me of rape and drugging her. So im literally in the gym having the WORST mental breakdown of my life and I mean screaming at the too of my lungs dropping to the knees hitting the floor. There was the security guy and Joey one of the teachers along with the princapal and vice principal trying to calm me down. And my dads crying because hes upset because of what Iris had said. And they told me to stay home for a few days until I could calm down.
So I came bac the following monday. I was so depressed I wanted to die. I almost had another suicide attempt but I thought about Taylor Swift and how I would never get t meet her and that just made me hold onto life just a little bit longer. So by the end of the year it was time for prom and so I was nominated for.... you guessed it prom court equivalent to prom princess/prince and can you guesd who was nominated too? That bitch Iris. So we were BOTH up against each other and trust me I was NOT going to let her win. So I baked my ass off and probably made over 200 cupcakes and fed them to the entire school and when I was time for prom. I won. I won prom princess. That was the best night of my entire life. My entire highschool carrer I felt normal. Everything was perfect
. Soon my Junior year ended. And summer came and went and my Senior yesr started. I only needed 1 credit to graduate .5 government .5 global studies. So I took government first which I got like knocked down a ton because i refused to do presentations because i hate speaking infront of a class but I still passed with a A. Then global studies I REFUSED to take with Karen again. So I did 5 at least 250 page packets in one quarter. And I still graduated early two quarters early. I started school my sophomore year because they didnt count it as a freshman and ended my senior year. I worked my ass off. And I graduated in 2 1/2 years. I graduated. I did it. I made it. Evern after a suicide attempt. Witnessing my mom attempt suicide my sophmore year, Iris accusing me of rape. All of that and I still graduated and I was second in class too. I’ve never been more proud of myself in my entire life. I didnt think id ever make it here. I thought in 2014 I was going to die. But I didnt. I’m still here. Alive and succeeding in life. Im a caregiver now. I’m getting my CNA in July. I made it. I did it.
#little#babygirl#little space#baby#little girl#little one#age regression#princess#daddy#mommy#my story#graduation#class of 2018#highschool#high school
1 note
·
View note
Text
today is my graduation day but i didn’t attend it. the day before graduation my lecturer called me because i am one of the top five nominators and she would like to confirm whether i attend the graduation or not and i said no because my dad couldnt come and it’s kinda expensive in times like this where its supposed to do online at least make thing easier bc money money isn’t that stable still due to covid. she said your gpa is high in this department but still i rejected it tho bc im sick with my campus already. soo yeah thats it and kinda regret but it has passed tho so yeah at least ive got my experience in my hand now. no big deal.
0 notes
Text
So, here's my playlist of my life as it has been so far. I may update it, but this is what every song on it means to me as of what was on it 30 June 2020.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9_zyjXfClT3ymeEbJNz-a3oWHgs_isWM
1. Lalasweet- So, this first area of the playlist is themed to be my foreign songs. This first one I first heard in college at Radford University. I spent a lot of my time in college walking around listening to music. This one means a lot to me because I can still feel myself walking around campus when I hear it. I see myself very clearly walking in front of the gym, heading to my sociology class in the morning with my fruity tea from Starbucks. I felt so calm back then, the pain from high school just evaporated as I listened to this song.
2. PEEP SHOW- So, this song took a lot of effort for me to find after I first heard it in college. It was written in characters and I couldnt for the life of me get it translated so I could find it on YouTube. But hey, here it is. I sang this song and the previous song to myself a lot as I walked around campus. The same image appears in my head whenever I listen to it.
3. Crossing Field- This one is a trip for me. So, Sword Art Online was my first anime way back when in high school. This is the first opening song to it. This song also got me into listening to japanese music! Sword Art still holds a special place in my heart. I actually read nearly all the books that have been published, and I've seen so much of it. Another sword art song is actually later in the playlist, and it captures more of how the anime makes me feel. This song and this anime mean so much to me. A lot of good came from anime for me.
4. Kakumei Dualism- I've never seen what this is from. But, in high school while I had to wait on my dad to pick me up, this was the first song I learned how to sing in Japanese. So, I couldnt ride the bus because people were dicks to me. I wouldnt get a seat, people would push me around and generally be assholes. So I waited in the lobby for my dad to pick me up after work every day. He got off around 5 usually, and school ended around 3:30, so I had time to kill. This song got me into trying to learn Japanese and learning how to sing!
5. Bye Bye Yesterday- Ahhhh this anime omg! The ending made me cry so hard I would highly recommend watching it. I used to listen to all of the songs from it on my way to therapy in college, so I learned how to sing this as I walked the 1 and a half mile walk I believe it was once every week after I got out of the hospital. This song and this anime give me so many good feelings and good memories.
6.Masayume Chasing- Again, great Japanese song from an amazing anime I love! I listened to this in my room a lot after my dad picked me up. I remember crying a lot while this song was on, I felt so isolated and alone. This song was beautiful to me though, and it got me into listening to BoA. I spent so many hours listening to her music in high school and college!
7. RE:make- This band was just epic to listen to. I forgot I ever found them, I just remember like jamming out to their music once I found them, and when I lost spotify premium, I sorta stopped listening to a great band.
8. Bloody Mary: I got into two bands because if Noragami. Helli Sleepwalkers was one. I used to sing Bloody Mary so often I still think I have it memorized. I sang it to myself in high school and in college, it's practically a mantra now. More on Noragami in a bit.
9. Let me hear- This is from another anime, Parasyte. Great anime, but I honestly like the band more than the anime. Two of my closest friends in high school, Rachael and Maria, I showed this song to them. I still remember sitting in Rachael's room with them, showing them this song. More on both of them when we get to some association songs, there's a lot.
10.Wagakkiband- Great band, I discovered them in high school. I actually dont know what my favourite song by them is, I cant read kanji so I could never find it. I just cried a lot to their music in high school. I would turn it up so my dad couldn't hear my cry, and I would just sob for hours.
11. History Maker- I'm not sure why, but this has always been a hopeful more lovey song to me.
12. Everything- This song means a lot to me. I discovered this band through Noragami too, I loved that anime I read so much of the manga too because season 3 still isnt out. The oral cigarettes got me through a lot, and I mean a lot. I've always actually wanted someone to sing this song to. It's a love song, I've memorized it so I can sing with the song. I've always dreamed of one day singing this to someone who means everything to me. If you ever get the chance to translate it, this song defined how I viewed love for a while. I still hope one day i can sing this song to that special someone,I just hope I get the chance to.
13. Anohona- This is a real cry song for me. Whenever I felt worthless, i would listen to this. The anime is a real tearjerker too. The line "Something must be wrong with me" resonates with me to this day. People who love each other drifting apart, and blaming yourself for it. I cried to this song for countless hours, I really feel like it defined me for so long. I'm actually listening to it as I write this and I'm already crying because of it. It just always makes me feel like there truly is something wrong with me.
14. God knows- This is a song like Everything. I really want to sing this for someone who means the world to me one day, I've practiced it so much! I hope one day I get the opportunity to sing this to who I truly love. Honestly, this feels like a song for someone who is struggling. I wish i could sing it to my love when she truly needs it most. Because yeah, "I will follow you, no matter what we go through." If you listen to this song love, please know that I feel it could mean something to you too.
15. Catch the moment- this is the other sword art song. I got to watch the movie this came from with my dad. It's one of the last things we did together before we drifted apart when I came out. We went to a super fancy restaurant that night, i had vietnamese food for the first time, and i watched an amazing movie with my dad. I really treasure that memory, and I always will. More on my dad later on.
16. Bebe- Time to change themes. These songs relate to my music career in highschool. I was in marching band, jazz band, and concert band. I played Alto Sax. I always worked towards playing this song. I got the Jimmy Dorsey Sax guide as a Christmas gift from my aunt. And I used it to get better. I never could make it to this level though. I always worked towards it but I fell short. My best in this song was the first few lines of music with no mistakes.
17. String of Pearls- My sophomore year in high school, I played the sax solo from this. It's the performance I'm most proud of. It took a lot of effort, and I fucked up when I finally did it, but I'm really proud of myself for accomplishing what I did. It made me really happy to get to do this solo.
18. Law and Order- I learned to play this on sax too! I actually wanted to perform it in concert, but I was never allowed to. This show means a lot to me. Growing up, I used to sit with my dad and watch it with him. This was way back in elementary school when we did this, and I have a lot of fond memories of watching this show with him and talking with him. It felt like we never really spent enough time together.
19. Pink Panther- I would say this song is what I'm most proud of learning on my own. I never performed it, but I did show off with it during jazz band. I was so proud of myself when I managed to growl with the song! I feel like I really nailed the style of this song.
20. Your latest trick- This is another solo I'm really proud of teaching myself! I never played it, but damnnnn I fuckin nailed it when I played it.
21. Deacon Blues- I would always suggest this song to my band director for us to play in concert. We never did do it though. I love the solo, and I spent so many hours learning how to play this song and just vibing listening to it.
22. Zoor Suit Riot- This is the song I listened to a lot during band camp one year. Band camp was always an experience, I have a lot of stories from it, but this one hurt me, and this song I associate with that pain. My dog, Jake, he was an Autralian Shepherd. He was attacked by a pit bull. He died while I was at band camp. I knew he was sick before I left, and I wanted to stay with him, but my dad convinced me I should go because if I didnt I wouldnt have been in marching band that year. I regret going. I wish I spent my dog's last day with him. He was the best dog I ever had, I raised him. My family didnt even tell me he died until a month later, they just kept saying he was with my grandfather. I really miss my dog, and this is the song that reminds me I shouldve stayed home with him.
23. Centerfold- This is the song I associate with the good side of marching band! This was a stand tune we played during football games, and I really could like dance and jump around while playing it! It was a super fun experience!
24. Radioactive- Heres the bad side of band. My junior year, there was a solo in this song in marching band. We were allowed to audition for it. I tried so hard to get an audition with my band director. He kept saying to ask him tomorrow during pre camp. I said I could come in early, or I could stay late any day, but he kept blowing it off. He said I could do it first day of band camp. I asked when I got there, he said wait until tomorrow. The next day, he gave away the solo to his favourite person, and nobody even got to audition. He just chose his favourite. That really fucked with me. My senior year of highschool, the band director picked on me a lot too. There were so many problems in band, and he always blamed me. I was yelled at because I told the drum major we had to move because the susophones would run into a car if we didnt. I was yelled at for reporting drug use. I was going to kill myself because what was my life at that point was making me miserable. This is the first time i ever cut, this was the first time i wanted to die and i was going to act on it. Maria saved me, and i quit band. More on maria below. This song just reminds me of how fucked up the whole situation was.
25. Honeybee- This is the first of my people association songs! This one is for Maria, my sister. You aren't the first person I made a list of songs for and got one from love. Maria and I had the idea first. I felt it would help us get closer as sisters! This was when we were house sitting for rachael that we did this. The first time I didnt have nightmares was when we shared a bed and snuggled together. Honeybee was one of her songs. She saved me from band. She saved me from myself. She never really understood my depression, but she always helped. Shes also who I came out to first when I came out as trans. She helped me learn how to pass as a girl, and she accepted me for me. I've always loved talking to her, she'll always be one of the people I'm closest to. Shes family. Emily is too, that's my other sister. I dont have a song for Emily sadly, but she means the world to me too. Hell, if you want to know more about any of what I'm saying or more about these people, just ask me love and I'll tell you everything. You still have my number, and you can always message me on here.
26. Mona Lisa- This is my first of two for Rachael's songs. Rachael is the second person I came out to, and she helped me along with maria. I actually ran away from home on Christmas 3 years ago. My dad's girlfriend started yelling at me and I just ran away. I texted Rachael on Christmas Eve and she came and picked me up on the side of the road. I spent Christmas that year with her family and her. I spent next christmas there too. Rachael has always helped me through a lot. She also never really understood my depression, but shes always been a good friend.
27. Fox on the run- This is Rachael's other song. She used to pick me up every morning and take me to school. We would listen to music and chill together on the car ride, and this was one of the songs. I always treasured my time with her, and I often think back on those car rides.
28.Tattered Banners- This song is for Kris. I played dnd at a shop called Mishap Games while I was in high school. Kris was one of my friends there. One of the times I ran away, she got me. I spent the night at her apartment, and she introduced me to her dad, lastweektonight, and amon amarth. When I came out to her, we traded clothes. I gave her my old boy clothes cause she liked plaid, and she gave me the clothes that were too femme for her, and it's because of her I was able to dress the way I wanted to when I came out in high school. I'll always appreciate her for that.
29. Peace of Mind- These next 4 songs are associated with my dad. This one is a positive song. I would vibe with my dad and listen to his albums when we moved out. My mom cheated on my dad while I was in high school, and I chose to stay with him. He introduced me to so much rock music. Boston was one of my favourite bands of what he showed me. I still listen to them to this day and smile and think of the time I spent with my dad. It will always make me happy knowing he chose to spend so much time with me to make sure I was taking the divorce okay.
30. Paperback writer- my dad introduced me to the Beatles too. This song struck a chord with me because I wanna write books one day lmao. I love so many more of their songs too, i had a saxophone book of their music so i can actually play a lot of Beatles on sax too!
31. Pinball wizard- Yet another good memory with my dad. He got me hooked on music from the British invasion, so the who, the stones, the animals, the kinks, so many good bands he showed me! I love the time we spent together.
32. Cats in the cradle- Heres the negative of my relationship with my dad. I feel like he never really had time for me once he met deana and before the divorce. He spent more time with me when he and my mom split up,but then he just stopped. I really hope I didnt do anything wrong. Dad, if you ever read this, I'm sorry if me resembling my mom ever hurt or anything. I'll always love you dad, please pick up and call me back dad, please? I miss talking to you, I miss my dad. I know you're busy, but please? Just 5 minutes dad, please just call me if you ever see this I miss you. I love you dad. I learned a lot from you dad. I hope I'll make you proud of me, I hope I get to see you one last time before August 14th. It might be my last chance to see you. I love you dad, I hope you're proud of me.
33. Fireflies- This is my Gillian song. She fucked me up for years. She changed me. She wanted me to be her Ashe, and Ashe wasn't me. I didnt want to be Ashe but I loved Gillian. I let her change me as a person so that I could be good enough for her, but all she ever did was block me over and over, and unblock me and insult me. I dont know why I loved her so much but I did. She just tried to change me and I didnt want to change but I did for her. There's still a part of me that struggles to remember who I was before Gillian. I hate Ashe, I hope I never become Ashe ever ever again. I really never want to struggle like that again.
34. Imitation of Life- New theme! Let's talk about periods in my life. This was the song I listened to on an up. It gave me hope surprisingly. It taught me a lot about how to approach life. If you watch the video love, it keeps focusing on different scenes going on in a clusterfuck that is life. It just looks like a normal party at first, but there's so many little stories going on as the camera focuses on different parts. This song taught me theres a lot going on I cant see, and I should approach life assuming I dont know all the details. I need to focus on different parts, and then I'll see all the little things that make life beautiful.
35. Mr. Brightside- This is another up song for me! This song really helped me learn to smile and bear it. Like, this song helped me figure out how to smile again, and that if I smile more, life gets better and better the more I smile. It was just hard sometimes. I still struggle to smile, ya know love? You made me smile again though. You really helped me love!
36. Toxic- Fuck me sideways this song. I never have been in a good relationship, and this song kinda defines that. Everyone I've been with is toxic, and I shouldn't have loved them, but I did. I just was under their control. If any of the people that hurt me read this, I forgive you. You fucked me up, but I cant hold a grudge against anyone.
37. Monster- I truly believe I am a horrible person. A monster. I have never been able to do enough for anyone. I have never been able to make everyone happy. I have never been able to help everyone. I'm a disappointment. I'm a disaster who let's down her friends. I've never done enough for people and i can never go back and fix it. I can never save everyone. I can never help everyone. I wish i could help the world, but i feel incapable of doing that.
38. Kiri- This is another cry song. I spent hours in my room after school just with this blaring and crying my eyes out. I wished someone would save me. You have saved me though, love. You saved me from myself.
39. Bad Day- Lmao this song. Every time I had a shitty day I listened to this. I listened to this song every day for at least a year straight. Every day felt like a shitty day. Every single one. I just wanted to kill myself. I'm surprised I didnt. I still dont understand how I'm alive to this day. I dont know if I'll ever know how I kept going.
40. 11 minutes- This is one of the songs I associate with being ghosted. It feels like it always happened. I would make a friend, then a week later they just left me. I felt like I would always be alone. This was my college ghosting song. I made so many friends in classes, swapped numbers, then just nothing. I never heard from any of them ever again. I really felt worthless.
41. Telephone Line- My high school ghosting song. I had so many people promise me they would stay in touch. The only people from high school that talk to me are Maria and Rachael. Everyone else just doesnt care about me. And I get it. I'm worthless. It just hurts still. One person promised we would get together next summer, then when I texted her she ignored it, and posted not even a week later how happy she was to be back with everyone from high school.
42. In love with a killer- My first of 2 link songs. It's because of him I might go to jail, but more on that below. This song I associate with the abuse from him. He held me down, and cut his name into my back. He threw me on the floor and pissed on me and made me clean it with my tongue. He beat me. He stole my phone and texted people pretending to be me and made what few friends I had hate me. I lost everyone because of him. He just beat me and belittled me. He made me use my area even though I was uncomfortable. He made me give him head on his period, this he posted on his Facebook calling me a sissy. He only referred to me as his f*gg*t or his sissy or his fairy, he never let me have friends, and he cheated on me. He told me he only married me so he could own me. I fell for him though and I dont know why. He always said if I didnt mess up he wouldnt have to hit me and it made sense. If only I was better he wouldnt hit me.
43.Designed to Kill- my second link song. I tried to leave him once before we finally ended things. He had hickies on his neck. Since I tried to escape him, he said those hickies were strangle marks. I never hurt him. Hes a fucking bodybuilder and I cant open a pickle jar. I spent a week in jail and they put me with the men because of my area. Now I'm facing felony charges even though I didnt do anything to him. I was the one being beaten. If I go to jail, I'll be going to one where the guards dont patrol. I'll be killed. I'm so scared hes going to take my life from me.
44. Because of you- This is my rape song. When I was 5 or 6 (I cant remember what age) I was molested by a high school boy named Ryan. I never understood what he did to me and I still cant unpack it emotionally. When I went to college, I was raped in my ass with a toy by a trans guy, and I was raped by a nonbinary girl. When I went to the police, they called me the rapist since a penis cant be raped, it can only rape. Someone I was with threatened to post my nudes online. This song is about all of them, and about link too. This is the song I associate with all the pain I've felt because of it, and the fear I have whenever I walk anywhere alone.
45. Call me- this is my treatment song. When I was in college, I planned to kill myself on December 15th, at 3 am, exactly 3 hours after my birthday. I planned to jump out of the window of the 5th floor of muse hall on radford campus. I told my friend mary one day and she reported me to the police. I was put under EDO and sent to a residential home. There I met some really great friends I have since lost touch with. There was a Wii with just dance there,and this was the song we did most often when we played it. That treatment place was horrible. They held me for so long, promised one on one therapy sessions every day but we never got it, and I started the worst medication. It was supposed to help me with my eating disorder by giving me an appetite. Well, I never felt full. I ate until I puked because of it. But my friends helped me, and eventually I left. I'm not sure if that place really helped me or not, but the people did. After treatment, I spent a month at Rachael's house, then a month at Maria's, then I went back to school and moved dorms. It was after I went here I was raped.
46. Bo peep- fuck this animation just made me laugh. I love creepypasta so much, and the scp foundation. Seeing my fav creepypastas made me laugh so much when I needed it. I discovered this video and song and the next one while i was with link, and this made me smile at least for a bit.
47. Bad end- the other creepypasta song. This one actually inspired a book idea! I really hope I get the chance to finish it one day, but I'm not sure if I ever will. We'll see though, right love?
48. Intergalactic- This song I just really vibed with in college. Honestly this song and the next one are grouped together. I have a hard time thinking of why i like it or what it means to me, but it does mean something to me.
49. Echo- I love this band, they wrote my all time favourite song. This is just another song I felt needed to be on my playlist but there isnt any other reason for it.
50. Drake and Josh- omg this show. I grew up loving this show! It really helped define some of my childhood and listening to this song really makes me smile a lot!
51. Take a hint- Victorious was another of those shows for me. Honestly though I included this for another reason. So, you know I'm trans. This show sorta helped me realize it when I was growing up, but I never came out or rationalized it until I talked to maria my senior year of high school. Fuck, one time growing up I was on a fashion site looking at dresses because I really loved them and thought they were super pretty and I wanted them! My brother saw and told my parents I was looking at porn. I said I was because I was embarrassed I wanted to wear a dress. I remember in kindergarten being jealous of Jaycee for wearing this really pretty purple dress. I remember growing my hair out so maybe a girl would braid my hair randomly like they did to other girls. I remember playing dress up with Samantha in kindergarten and my grandmother walking in on it and I felt so embarrassed for enjoying it. I remember wishing I could he a Disney princess. I remember taking scissors to my area and wishing if I cut it off I would be a girl instead. I remember coming out to my sister and being so afraid she would hate me for it. I felt so ashamed for how I felt. I remember being bullied when I came out. I remember being cornered in the bathroom by a group of guys and they said they would make me inti a real girl. I remember screaming and fighting until a student came in and gave me the opportunity to run. I remember going to prom and leaving in tears as people were getting dared to kiss me. I remember being driven to therapy by my friend's husband. I remember him telling me I should go back to his place cause he knows what's tr*nn**s like me like. I remember being chased to my dorm from dnd one night. I remember everyone who's ever grabbed my ass or my chest. I remember being outed to so many people by a psycho old woman and I couldnt even go pee because of her. I wish life was easier, but so many people hate me because I'm a freak.
52. Cantina- New theme! This is how nerdy I am lmao. I've always loved stuff like star wars and dnd and star trek. Honestly this song hits weird. I remember watching the original trilogy with my dad and loving it. And my best friend, colton, could play this song on clarinet. He, Andrew, and I were really close. I kinda associate this song with them. Their mom died and colton walked in on her body. They moved away and I just felt so useless to them. I could never be there for them the way they needed me, I could never help them.
53. Doctor who- I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCHHHHHH. OMG I GREW UP SO MUCH WITH THIS SHOW. This was my escape in high school. I learned how to play the theme on sax too! I just always resonated with this show and it means so much to me.
54. Moonquest- This is my nerdy theme still, but now with youtubers. I've loved the yogscast all through college. Watching their videos really helped me after I was raped. It helped me take my mind off of things. This song really makes me smile to this day because of what the yogs did for me.
55. Diggy diggy hole- this song did the same for me what moonquest did, but this group is just so important to me. I love their content and they really did help me a lot. I got to escape through their videos.
56. All the way- I grew up watching jacksepticeye, he helped me get through highschool. My Irish accent is because of him too, I still like to try and do an impression. I loved growing up watching his stuff.
57. I'm back, baby-markiplier, omg markiplier. This was my first youtuber. I subbed to him I think when I was in 6th or 7th grade, and I didnt miss a video until I lost internet after I moved to the apartment with my dad. I still watch nearly all of his videos. Hes an escape that I really appreciate. He really helps me every day, and I really wish I could meet him so I could tell him his videos helped save me.
58. Fly like a butterfly- Markiplier also inspired me a lot. He made me believe in myself, and his message really makes me want to be the best I can be. I want to accomplish my dreams, and his videos made me feel like he believed in me. I really hope I can keep striving to be the best I can be. If you've never seen his videos love, I hella recommend them, same to his other channel unus annus.
59. Everybody wants to rule the world- NSP. Ninja Sex Party. Lmao this band. It's a rock comedy group. This song means a lot to me. It felt really inspirational when I heard it. NSP also has a really wholesome message behind them, and I believe in myself because of them too.
60. Party of 3- another amazing song by them. After I was raped, I really escaped into their music. And when I had a rough go of it in high school, I escaped to their music. They've always been a sort of relaxation band for me.
61. Baby, NYC- I actually got to see TWRP, Starbomb. And NSP perform in silver spring Maryland. It was one of the last things my dad and I did together, the other being watch thr sword art movie together. This band just means so much to me. I could've only used one song from them and gotten the same message across, but they're so important I felt like I needed more than one. I hope that makes sense love.
62. Smash- starbomb also means a lot to me. I remember the mornings my dad drove me to school I would listen to them on the way there with him. Their music was always really funny to me too, and I love the games they parodied.
63. Rivers in the desert- time for my nerdy videogame theme! Persona 5 royal is my favourite game of all time. The story is really moving, the characters are really well written (yusuke is bae), and it was just such a great experience to play. If you ever get the chance to play it love, I highly recommend it. Fuck I cried so much while playing it, it just means so much to me it's so good, in my opinion it's the perfect game for me.
64. Fairest one of all- This song I heard from SCGMD4! It's a rhythm game, and I've always wanted to show this song to someone I love.
65. Hollywise- this song is from Super Crazy Guitar Maniac Deluxe either 2 or 3. It also means a lot to me. This game series got me into rhythm games, and I spent so many hours on Kongregate just playing games like this. Before steam, this was my gaming website.
66. Cat- minecraft. Oh minecraft. I have so many fond memories of doing a LAN party at a friend's house or just playing modded with my lil friend group in high school. It's such a relaxing game, I can just mine for hours and just chill talking to someone. I love building villages too!
67. Zelda theme- I can play this on sax too! I loved watching the game grumps play the legend of zelda games, and I've always had a soft spot for them. I just kinda grew up with this series.
68. Evil woman- This song I remember from GTA IV. That game got me through some shit too, I honestly loved the story in it and it made me feel really good going through the story. It felt so real in a way. I played through it so many times.
69. Top secret- I watched patrckstatic play Maize. It's a really funny game and it made me laugh so hard! I still think of it whenever I listen to this song.
70. Skyrim theme- I sunk so many hours into skyrim. It felt a little samish after awhile, but it was still a great game!
71. Halo theme- Halo 3 was one of my first ever games after the gamecube. Now, why did I include so many short blurbs from video games? I didnt exactly write paragraphs about these like my previous songs. Well, gaming was and still is how I connect with a lot of people. I made friends in Britain, Lousiana, Portland, New York, I still keep in touch with some people through games, gaming has just always been a social thing for me and I grew up playing video games with friends. This music helps me remember that.
72. Wolf blood- this is my dnd song. In high school, I ran dnd club. I taught so many people how to play! I also went to a store I mentioned earlier, Mishap Games, and I played all day, every Saturday, for about 3 years. I played online and I ran groups. I played in college at radford. Dnd was my escape from life, where i could pretend to be some hero or villain character. I didnt have to be eden, I could just play a game with friends. I felt really good playing with people! If you ever wanna learn how to play love, or play together or anything, definitely let me know! I'd love to share a game I'm in love with with you!
73. Finally, Jump Up, Super Star- This is my favourite song. I've always wanted to show this song to someone and tell them how much I loved them. I've always wanted to show this song to someone who's more important to me than anyone else in the world. I've always wanted to show this song to someone who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and make them happy. I want to show this song to someone I'll always be there for. I wanted to show this song to someone I wanted to jump up with, without a care, someone I wanted to go on the odyssey of life with! My first ever post was me dancing to this song. This song means the world to me love. I really want you to know I'll always be there for you for as long as I'm alive. You mean the world to me. Come on, jump up in the air. Jump up because you know I'll be there for you. Everything will always be okay. I'm here for you. I know you're going through a rough patch love, but I'm here for you.
EDIT: 74. The Last Unicorn- This is the song from the movie the last unicorn. It's my favourite book of all time, it made me cry so hard! It's an amazing fantasy book that turns some tropes on it's head. It is a fantastic read I would 100% recommend so I dont want to spoil anything it's just amazing.
Now, why did I decide to post all of this today? Well I want you to know more about who I am, and what defines me. I hope I can get some explanations on the songs from your playlist too if you're ever up for it. I just wanted to share with you who I am. And I wanted a record of how I've felt to live on after I'm gone, if I do go away in August. Maybe you'll look back on my playlist and smile and remember me? Maybe Jump up will give you hope like it gives me. Maybe you can smile and jump up and just not have a care in the world. I really hope that songs has some meaning to you like it has for me, love.
Love always,
Eden ♥️♥️♥️♥️
0 notes
Text
i dont really have the highest hopes for making the goal i had for school odds are i fail a class, do poorly in another or two, and maybe get by decently in one of them i really regret doing online courses since it always goes back to “oh i missed that because it wasn’t posted,” “oh the professors don’t use the news alert system when new stuff is added with a concise explanation of what I need to do in that post blurb that’s 3500 words of bs,” “oh i didnt realize this awkward and uncomfortable ‘post your personal assignments here that are about yourself so a bunch of strangers can also read and criticize it’ was required,” “the syllabus is written out of order, it’s messy and has a bunch of color code usage that’s never explained and makes reading it harder and, oh, they want me to print it out too bad i dont have a fucking printer and looking at it makes me want to throw up since it’s literally just everything put up on a page and i just start panicking because its so much stuff and it immediately overwhelms me” i also fuckin hate the professors who’ll say like “if you’re here just to get a degree you’re in the wrong place” b/c it’s like college costs a lot of fuckin money and you can bet your ass the only reason im here is to get a degree so i can eventually have a job that lets me be financially stable. trying to say “oh it’s just for funtime education” is bullshit when it costs what it does and isn’t even accessible to everyone from the get-go. i could learn the exact same shit for free from a fucking library and the internet, and talk to people i know if i have questions about material. but that doesn’t give me the piece of paper i need. idk i wish there was more of a “oh i can go do this and be fine financially” rather than needing to spend years in a university because i really hate it. i *wish* i hadn’t fucked up before and been as suicidal and couldve got through it *before* its used as a “yea we can’t have you here cuz you dropped out in the past” *even when* it’s an associated school with the one i *did* drop out of and they told me they *would* re-accept me when i was healthier. no im not a great student. i get overwhelmed really easily, i stress out over everything too much, i break down if i miss one assignment. i dont do well on the shit i actually try really hard at. i dont participate in class because it’s a terrifying experience to be called a fucking “idiot” again by a professor (ty philosopher dickhead at uwgb im gonna fucking punch you if i ever see you) i *forget* about assignments a *lot* and *yes* that’s a *my* problem thing but it’s something so extremely difficult to work around without having someone telling me about it, or just having a visible schedule written down about what’s due on a front page that always pops up. which i mean yeah it’s extra work i guess for the professor to just copy paste some info that’d really help me out, and no i dont have this issue as much in a traditional school b/c i actually *go* to the classes to sit in and be reminded through that. and yea im probly gonna fail out unless the other university sighs and says “well she did try and it was online” and ngl i probably would be *fine* in a regular classroom oriented thing *now* it’s more organized and there’s a schedule i can keep to and get into and when i get *into* a schedule i stick to it 100% b/c i derive a sense of security, existence and safety from having schedules. but if i fail out and they dont sigh and say “okay” then im kinda fucked. i mean, i could probably attempt to get through another year there and maybe go to the actual school instead of the online bullshit and *maybe* then i’d actually meet the reqs. but idk if that offer is gonna stand after this year. and idk im just back to feeling really fucking hopeless and empty. i mean ive been feeling this way all this month. i feel like nothings fucking worth it because i feel like i just cant do it. and that ultimately im gonna end up fucked. and i *know* im 90% of the problem. i *know* my thinking of “what’s the point” is screwing me over. i *know* accidentally falling asleep an staying asleep for a whole day is a fucking issue. i *know* i shouldnt forget important shit i need to do. i *know* i should participate no matter how fucking uncomfortable and frightened it makes me. but it feels fucking *impossible* to work with 0 energy. it feels terrifying to be asked “write an introspective piece about yourself and reflect on the events of your life that made you who you are today” BECAUSE i dont talk about THAT STUFF to people I DONT KNOW i *BARELY* covered those topics in *therapy* because of how uncomfortable they make me. and I DONT need a bunch of strangers in a class knowing the shit that happened to me. and fuck i feel like the entire idea behind the writing assignment was “oh this’ll be fun haha” but it’s like... remembering *most of the shit hat directly impacted how i am today* is one of the most fucking difficult things for me to do, especially publicly. i *regret* online schooling. i didnt realize how much i dont work with it until i thought about it this year. i get overwhelmed. i get stressed. i get depressed. i get suicidal. i get hopeless. i feel useless. i didnt realize i *need* to actually *go* to a class because it helps with the isolation i put myself in. because i straight up actually understand shit when someone is actually explaining it to me and not just handing me a textbook and saying “read it that’s it that’s the entire class, but oh, write an informed paper structured off what you read and if you dont understand the material well go fuck yourself i guess.” and in actually *going* there to a physical room it becomes easier to do things like homework and assignments *because i can walk over to the library*. what *really* shit on my previous school ability was like i was overwhelmed (we *just* moved to a *completely* different state and environment, i *just* had a series of panic attacks in italy b/c i thought i could handle it on my own) and the first school didn’t have a/c and it was fucking 101 outside every day and i dont do well in heat, and by that, i mean i hyperventilate, i get dizzy, i get lightheaded, i get emotional and frightened and stressed and cant sleep. the professor who asked if we read the chapter (I DID) and then pointed at me to explain what i read (I DIDNT FUCKING UNDERSTAND IT), and when i finished he just laughed and told me to sit down and pretty much called me an idiot in front of everyone and i started crying. (i also got a 0 so i failed the reading since he didnt believe i read it). at *that* school there were no therapy or counseling or offers like that. the art building made me cry and feel unsafe (i couldnt control it), having to walk *all* the way back to my dorm building at 12AM b/c that’s when my one class ended was *terrifying* then in a different school it was just i had a class that made me physically uncomfortable to be in. i *hated* being in the freshman course for feminism so much. not b/c i hate the material, but i felt so “other” and uncomfortable b/c im a trans woman being asked about my male perspective on shit and i just. i remember leaving because i just felt upset and depressed and i couldn’t get over the really bad dysphoria i kept having in that class (the professor there was the reason i went to counseling on campus, she’s the one who referred me to it in the first place). on top of that, the dorm i was told id be getting was a fucking lie. i was supposed to have one or 0 roommates. i got 5 roommates. beds didn’t fit me b/c of my height (i slept with the back of my feet on an iron bar). the food was straight fucking garbage. one of my roommates just randomly touched me all the time. hugged me, put arms around my neck, *kissed my cheek*. another was always drunk and loud. another talked about making bombs incessantly. one of them seemed actually concerned about me and he came in once or twice when i was face down on my bed just not moving b/c of therapy sessions and talked to me once or twice to make sure i was still alive. friday mornings in winter id be up at 5AM, trying to get ready without waking any of the 5 other people, then walk outside with no access to breakfast/coffee/anything (b/c too early) to get to a class across and off the campus i had to walk to (and when snow was present my feet were numb b/c of all the water that got into my shoes). and then there was the legit getting 4 hours of sleep if that a week. eating basically nothing. extremely suicidal and getting to the point where i was having days where i legitimately could not discern what was real and wasn’t. and then i left ‘cuz my other option was to be hospitalized. from there its just been attempts at online schools. which i already tiraded about above. i mean fuck id be happy if i *could* just go work in retail and make a decent wage and not have to work every waking hour of my life to make it work. like. i *wish* i was lucky enough to be one of those “i had no degree but x really liked my resume” stories i always read about. i *wish* writing and publishing a book was considered and *was* a viable career option without needing to get really fucking lucky. im passionate about writing fiction, but in order to do that professionally, i need a 4 year degree from an institution. i can technically publish something, but if no one ever hears about it or cares, then it doesn’t become a job to have and it does little else. and then there’s also just a lot of irl shit i keep worrying about and dwelling on and nearly making some really fucked up or stupid decisions in the interim. and idk i just i wish i was one of those ppl who felt like they had a future and aren’t likely to die before age 25. or one of those people who just *does* something and it works out and they get to exist.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
well here is how my past 2 days went! they were both pretty bad lol
so yesterday my first class was orgo lab. it was better than last week but it still fucking sucked oh my godddddd the actual lab only took everyone maybe 90 minutes but we had to get an nmr for our products and we had to do it one by one and it took 12 minutes per person so even though i tried to take my time doing things really slow to keep myself occupied i still ended up w like 50 minutes of doing nothing! it was so boring
and then there was the girl who set me up. so we did the nmr in this separate room in the basement and the chairperson for the chem dept was operating the machine. the girl who works at the lab station next to me is named julia and i thought we were friendly acquaintances since we ask each other for help sometimes. so i got down to the room to run my product through the nmr machine and there were a bunch of students there already waiting for their results and stuff and the chairperson was talking to one of them and didnt acknowledge me at all so i was about to go wait for him to finish talking then ask him what to do but julia who had literally just finished putting her thing in the machine came over to me
she was like “oh i can help you set your product up and show you how to put it in!” so i was like “wow thanks!” so she showed me and as i was trying to put it in the machine it wouldnt go in so i was like ????? and then i realized julia literally showed me the completely wrong way to do it!!!!!!!!!! the chairperson came over and he was like “whoa whoa whoa that is not how youre supposed to do it” and then he showed me how to do it correctly. now julia had literally just finished setting hers up so i find it highly unlikely that she made honest mistakes when showing me what to do! i think she did it on purpose to make me look bad. she embarrassed me in front of not only the chairperson but my peers as well and if it was my messy classmates i wouldnt mind but it was all the ones who are actually good at this stuff!! rip idk what she gained from that since the chairperson has no influence over my grade but still an iconic cutthroat move i guess! i just wish she did it to someone that wasnt me
also i overheard 2 of my classmates talking about her a little earlier and they were talking about how she tried to steal both of their spatulas! so this julia girl is just cracked overall which is better than her just having a personal vendetta against me i guess
also 2 good things happened in that lab at least! first of all in the pre lab lecture noor came and sat next to me instead of whoever she sat with last time! so that was nice bc i wasnt sitting by myself. and then during the lab i was pipetting something and federico (the REALLY cute guy) was up to that too so he came over and he was like “can i borrow your pipet when youre done” and i was like yeah so it was nice that he talked to me
then i had like 45 min before gsa so i texted danielle and we hung out until the meeting and then the actual meeting was so much fun! we played jeopardy w lgbtq related questions and we were making the teams danielle and i were on one team while the president was on the other and we beat his team BOTH times! it was literally iconic bc we were losing the first game at first but then i started getting all these questions right and danielle started getting them right too and then in the second game this other girl on our team started answering everything too so the 3 of us were an unstoppable trio and the president was so bitter
also that reminds me i recently found out at last weeks eboard meeting and then i got even more info from danielle that day. so apparently literally all the other minority-based clubs on campus hate us and wont work with us bc our president wore that make america great again hat so like...rip that sucks for us lol
so yeah gsa was super fun then in orgo lecture i got there early to make sure those freaks didnt steal my seat again but other than that it was uneventful
then there was what happened today. sociology was boring psych was relatively fun but also uneventful. anatomy lecture was fun except for one thing. the prof needed someone to help demonstrate something and he chose this random guy from the second row instead of me! and like it had to be a guy bc what he did would be kinda weird if he did it to a girl and i was the only guy in the front row so it wouldve been common sense to choose me but instead he chose that random!!! it was s/t about kidney stones so he made the guy come up to the front of the class and he had him like lean forward on the front table w his back/ass to the prof and rest of the class and he was like showing where the kidneys are and where to hit them if youre testing for kidney stones so he put his hand flat on this guys back and then hit his hand (that way he wasnt literally slapping the student) and its like...if he chose me that wouldnt been so iconic bc he wouldve had me bent over that table and he wouldve been touching my back but instead he chose that other guy so that was where things started going downhill
then anatomy lab was where it got even worse. so it was just a review lab before next weeks practical so he lets all any of his lecture students who arent in his lab sit in just to get extra review. so the lab was so full w all these randoms which made me irritated and one of the people there was the seat stealing guy! he was w this other girl and they were there kinda early and i was watching and they were gonna sit but theres only enough seats for everyone in the class so if extra people come theres gonna be a shortage of chairs. so they were sitting down and the girl was like “actually maybe we should stand bc it wouldnt be fair to the people who are actually in his lab if we stole their seats” and the guy was like “who cares!” and sat in a seat i was just like hmmmm.... so i guess hes just like this all this time
so then i was still waiting for lab (several of us including the prof were there extra early bc lecture ended early) and this one random girl was talking to the prof just about random things for like 10 minutes!! i was jealous like who tf is she? freak
so then the actual lab was boring it was just review but it was kinda nice at first bc the prof was waiting for the TA to make copies of something so he was literally just telling us jokes it was like a rupauls drag race stand up comedy challenge but it was ruined for me bc the seat stealing guy was literally kissing this profs ass the ENTIRE time and he does this in all the classes ive had w him but he was doing it like even more than usual and it was just annoying i wanted to tell him to shut up but all of my peers like him so if i do that im not gonna be able to make any friends in my classes bc ill be the villain
so then after he finished the review we were left to review some more on our own then just leave whenever we felt like it but he also put out a sign in sheet for attendance. so everyone went up to it at once and i dont like waiting in crowds like that so i was just sitting then when the crowd dissipated i went up to sign it and it was gone and i was like “wheres the sign in sheet?” and the prof called out to the ta to take it out so i could sign it (it was literally right there but it was under the TA’s stuff so i couldnt just take it out on my own lol) and the prof seemed kinda exasperated at me asking and it upset me bc like its not like i waited until the last minute of lab to sign in?? like idk why they put it away so fast
then most of the people left so i was at my table alone and there was one other table w like 4 people including the girl the prof was talking to earlier. and the prof literally went over and sat at the table with them just to talk about regular things! which he literally never does bc he always stays by his desk so first him not talking to me at all except for being pissy to me and then him being so nice and friendly to those other students really put me in a bad mood. but the TA came over to me and asked if i needed help w anything which was v nice of him. i didnt need help bc i was just reviewing the online models on the ipads but still. but then the TA went and sat down w the prof and those other students so whatever
so then i left and walked my dejected ass all the way to my car and drove home pissed off the entire time and yeah thats it! tm i only have orgo so since i have a lot of free time im gonna try to finally go to the student counseling center and set up an appointment
1 note
·
View note
Text
August 23rd ,2020
It’s been since March that I updated this journal. Since then so much has been going on.. I have not sat down to think about things or even have time for myself.. where to begin.
School.. was a challenge this year because i couldnt get in campus due to the virus. I even took online classes during the summer. It did not end well I Withdraw from college. I was not motivated and distracted by many things . Surely months later me and my boyfriend looked at these apartments and oh my it fluttered my heart and made me happy and excited! We both had good ideas but then ... he changed his mind of his job.. I turned to full time at my job to provide money for our life together.. he took a different route which will take us even longer to do so. Now I’m miserable and just not motivated in life anymore. So many emotions ran down due to the virus shutting down so many places and opportunities. I’m stuck at this job.. i hate the customers but my manager is the kindest one out there. Before i committed he said that once i turn full time i cant change back. I was excited to move out i didn’t care.. but now that’s not the case anymore.. i do care and what now? I don’t want a new car .... or phone or anything.. i want to go back to school but my job will make it impossible... i’m fucking disappointed in myself. I really am..
0 notes
Text
virginia insurance stacking
"virginia insurance stacking
virginia insurance stacking
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://salecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr
RELATED QUESTIONS:
How much does car insurance usually cost for female 20 year old in toronto area?
im a university student and really in need of a car the used car im thinking of buying is about $4000 rollars honda 1997 how much would insurance cost? i have my g2 and i got my in-class driving school certificate which guarantee upto 40% insurance discount thanks!
""Cheap dental work without insurance in Oregon, Gresham?""
Cheap dental work without insurance in Oregon, Gresham?""
How can I find affordable health insurance in Florida?
How can I find affordable health insurance in Florida?
Can i get a better insurance for my car?
I just bought a car last week. My fiance and I are in the registration. The lender of the car (GM Financial) is asking to have my fiance in the insurance but he does not have a license since he had a DUI back in 2010 and other little felonies. He have a bad driving record and my insurance (Allied Insurance) wants to charge me 289.00 a month. Can i find a cheaper insurance for the both of us?
Do I need collision motorcycle insurance coverage on an old motorcycle?
Im looking to insure a 1997 Kawasaki Ninja 250 which was bought for $1,500 with Progressive. I would be using the bike to commute to campus and to work/internship. I was wondering how important each category is and how much coverage is recommended. -bodily/property damage -uninsured/underinsured bodily -medical payments -comprehensive -collision -uninsured property damage Also, is collision worth getting since I would probably go for a 1,000 deductable if I did get it since collision coverage is expensive. Keep in mind that I go to college in a small rural town which is pretty bike friendly.""
How much would insurance for a 2002 chevy tahoe cost? ?
ok im 14 and im taking drivers ed this summer when im 14 1/2 to get my learners permit and for my car im getting a 2002 chevy tahoe or a 2004 Cadillac escalade and i was wondering how much the insurance would be for them? not the full coverage but the liability insurance and we're on state farm insurance and i live in a pretty low crime town in montana so my car probably wouldn't get stolen or broken into
Help! Car insurance question?
I am 16 years old and i want to buy my own car. I want to buy something a little older that looks nice, is more reliable, and has more features than a new, cheap car. But some people told me that the insurance premium will be based on the value when the car was new. Is this true? Am I really going to have huge insurance costs on a car that isnt worth that much anymore? PS: I live in alberta, canada my budget is about $5000-$12000""
How much was insurance when you got your first car (UK)?
I know that it is extremely high just after you pass and insurance depends on other things like job and where you live, cos I want to get a car but I have been quoted over 1000 and that's with my parents added as well.""
How much will my insurance premiums go up after an accident when I am deemed at fault?
It was a fender bender. I was deemed at fault (though the other car was going way too fast). No one was hurt. But as an at-fault driver, how much will my insurance premiums go up by? I want a ball park range here, or to know how much yours went up by after a similar experience.... anything. And I want to know if my premiums go up more for worse damage or more expensive repairs. My company will not tell me anything. Note I was covered for collision for with a $500 deductible. I am on a plan with my parents, and I pay them about $71 per month right now.""
My teeth are breaking.ineed to find a dentist that will help me with no insurance?
roots are in my gums.bad breath
Car insurance expired what to do?
I bought an old car . its insurance expired on 9.7.12. how can i get it insured again?
How can I afford car insurance (17 - 18 year old)?
Does anyone have any ideas on how to afford running a car, especially insurance which would be around 2500-3000 per year. I'm still in sixth form and plan to go to university so I only really have weekends to work. Is it possible to afford to run a car? How to people do it? Thanks""
Why did my car insurance get higher?
My car insurance is going up over $100 per 6 months *shocked face* I am curious. Is car insurance in general getting much higher? Or would this increase be due to a wreck I had in January? (It was totally not my fault, but the guy who hit me wasn't insured.) p.s. If it makes a difference, I use progressive insurance. I spent over a month calling around - they had the best offer for me last year. But now I guess it's time to see what else is out there.""
Insurance cost?
i'm 17 years old, my car is toyota celica v4, 2 doors. can anybody tell me how much my car insurance cost, no need exactly but close to""
Help! I need health insurance by thursday?
I finally went to the doctor for my period( lasting for nearly a month now) Currently self-pay but wanted to know if I can get affordable insurance by my next Doctor visit. I need to get lab work done, which everyone tells me its a lot of money. And I have to visit a Gyno for an ultrasound which when I called I received a price I cant possibly afford right now.What I do know is that I can't afford to miss the appoint ments. I am concerned about my health. So if anyone have any suggestions or answers please let know.""
I need help health insurance help???
ok so i went to the doctor and found out i was pregnant. i live in california and have no health insurance. they gave me temperary medi cal for 30 days and i have to go apply at the cal works office. well i went and they told me i couldnt apply on my own im 19 that since i live with my mom she has to go in. she works alot though and its kinda harg for her to go. so is there any other way i can do it like online and mail in an application?? or do u guys know of any insurance i can get on my own??? please help??
How much is motorcycle insurance in michigan?
I know it is hard to get an exact quote without knowing all the information, but I just need a range. I am looking at a 196cc 5 speed dirtbike that has been made street legal, and just need ~3 months of insurance. Would this be in the $100-200 range? Higher? Lower?""
Average rate for motorcycle insurance?
I am looking to buy my first motorcycle but before I do I need to figure out how much insurance will cost but to be honest I don't know much about motorcycle insurance. I was hoping if someone can tell me what the best deals will be. The bike will be a Suzuki SV650 if that helps and I am 22 year old college student. I know that it will be higher if I haven't payed the bike completely off yet and I am planning on taking a safety course so I think that will lower it, still... can anyone help me figure this out?""
Does anyone know the average cost for car insurance for a 18yr boy for a firebird?
Does anyone know the average cost for car insurance for a 18yr boy for a firebird?
Where can I find an affordable party hall in brooklyn for less than $2500?
I want to plan a surprise 21st birthday party. So far, I haven't been able to find anything for less than $2500 for less than 100 people. Can anybody please help!!!!!""
""In the state of Texas,Do you have to have auto insurance?""
If you are in a car wreck which the other person is at fault,Can you still file a cliam on their insurance company and have phisical therapy paid and can paid for the damage for the car and get paid for pain and suffering? Even if the insurance was off for less than 24 hours""
Question about suing car insurance company after auto accident.?
My mother was the passenger in a vehicle that was rear ended on the interstate a few weeks ago. The driver is a co worker of hers. They were both injured but not rushed to hospital. My mother suffered a fractured disc in her back and whiplash. The driver suffered from whiplash and torn ligaments in her neck. They are both still seeing a doctor. They asked me to handle this for them. I am not an attorney, but have sued the insurance company of the driver at fault before (state farm). It was all going ok, i had all paperwork needed and was asking for $9500 each including medical. The claim has been turned over to an impossible woman. She refuses to deal with me and wants to deal directly with mother and coworker. Should I hire an attorney now, and how much should we ask for/get? p.s. both are told by doctor that they will have long term therapy.""
Which auto insurance company offers the best six month rates for a 19 yr old male?
im looking for a company public or private where i can get a 6 month premium for under $2500. the rates i get or ridiculous. am i expected to cough up $6500 for a 1 yr premium at minimal coverage with all discounts (6 hr class, vin ethching,etc.)included in the premium? thanxxx in advance for ur help""
How much is insurance for a 16 year old boy?
my names Alex im 16 years old and i have my license and a job. i have to cars a 1978 Cadillac coupe Deville and runs perfect but really bad on gas and a 1980 camaro sports coupe sitting since 1994 but runs witch car would be cheaper on insurance
Faster cars with lower insurance costs?
What are some faster cars available in the UK which have relatively low insurance costs. I am 20 years old so cars such as Imprezas where the insurance is 4000+ is too much. Are there any cars in the 1500-2000 insurance cost (3rd party fire and theft) which are usually cheaper to insure? Thanks
virginia insurance stacking
virginia insurance stacking
I had medical insurance but did not submit the bills till after the insurance was done new insurance wont cove?
Any help would be appreciated this was actually a few years ago but my dad claimed he was working on it but nothing has been done. Its already gone to an outside collections agency. It was in California
First time vehicle owner..need cheap car insurance?
18..my first car and i need some extremely cheap car insurance
Is it worth having private medical insurance if your in your 30s and healthy?
Is it worth having private medical insurance if your in your 30s and healthy?
State Farm Insurance Rate Question?
My dad added a new plan to his inurnace coverage that teh insurance rep told him would only cost him $3 a month. Next thing we know, our premium goes up by about $100. Is there a way to tell if the lady lied about the $3 a month thing and that it really was more like $15-$20 a month? I asked another rep and she said that there was a rate increase.It very well may be a rate increase, but these people just seem so incredibly shady that I'm not putting it past them one second to lie. Perhaps I can ask a different state farm why there was an increase in our bill? Basically, how can I find out for SURE what that $100 increase was for? Without asking the reps we usually go through? Perhaps call the main State Farm branch? Thanks!""
Best Ways to Reduce Car Insurance?
I found this article on ForbesAutos.com about best ways to reduce my car insurance. Is this true? http://www.forbesautos.com/advice/toptens/ten-ways-to-lower-your-car-insurance.html?partner=yahooa
Is there a motorcycle insurance company in ontario that can give rates similar to progressive?
PLUS they have to be able to insure 16 year olds, and the rate i got from progressive was 1800$(thats reasonable..and its not full coverage its the middle one),, i have m1, and have a 08 zzr600""
Recommendation for Mexican auto insurance (going to Ensenada).?
We are traveling to Ensenada this weekend and I want to purchase insurance online before we go. Does anyone have a carrier they recommend?
Second driver for my parents car insurance?
well im a full time college student so i can't pay for my car insurance at the moment. whats the requirements for putting myself as a second driver to my parents car? ive had one car accident and been cancelled twice in my own name to 2 different car insurance. (family member passed away and i had to use the cash to go abroad) anyways.. will that effect me to putting me as a second driver to my parents car?? .. (with their name on the car) i mean.. my parents will pay for me so i dont see the problem for me getting rejected by the insurance for my prior non payment cancelation. please help me.
What are insurance rates on a 1992 camaro?
i want to buy a camaro but need to know if insurance will cost too much on a 1992 convertible camaro?
How much should my car insurance go up if....?
Two years ago I got tickets for both running a stop sign and wreckless driving.And just now the state has turned it in to my insurance company who will drop me just because of those tickets,even though I had a good driving record before then.But Iam trying to work things out with them to see if I can get a deal. How much should my insurance go up?""
Driving without car insurance.?
Im 17, I have had my license for 2 months and my uncle gave me his car and i was wondering if i could drive it because he is still paying for the insurance on it, but I dont have any insurance of my own.""
Do you know any cheap car insurance providers for young driver?
Do you know any cheap car insurance providers for young driver?
Insurance question: Will my medical bill be covered?
So, I have a motorcycle and fell on it because of a surprise front tire blow out. I do not have a M1 license or motorcycle insurance. I am fine and when i fell I picked my bike up and had my friend tow me back home. No authorities were involved. I then proceed to go to the ER. I went and told them it was from me falling on a motorcycle. They didn't ask any questions in relation to my motorcycle credentials. My question is; will my insurance pay for my hospital visit? Or will they check and see if I am even qualified to ride a motorcycle. And if they see that I am not licensed will they not pay for my bill?""
What is the price of a mini copper and its insurance?
just wondering what the price of a mini copper is to buy and the cheapest insurance? Details would be helpful Thankx
How much is car insurance for 16 year old male?
How much is car insurance for 16 year old male?
Do I need to pay insurance if I get my G1 license?
btw im 16...living in Ontario
Can an Auto Insurance company force you to use aftermarket parts for repair in Connecticut?
I had tire tread fly into my car on the highway. Tore the bumper and smashed the condenser. The insurance company has after market parts on the estimate, but I want to sell this car someday and want OEM. I'm pretty sure I am out of luck, but just wanted to make sure as this is my first time dealing with an incident. Thanks.""
How much would the average price for a male at the age of 20 to have full coverage car insurance?
How much would the average price for a male at the age of 20 to have full coverage car insurance?
What exactly is broad form coverage for car insurance?
my insurance ran out. i dont really need a full coverage on car insurance since my car is old. I have a lifetime medical insurance. Im a pretty confident driver.
Looking for car insurance in Michigan?
im 19 years old and me and my girlfriend are looking for an apartment together and we need car insurance. i looked around and cheapest i could find is about $200 for plpd. where should i look? is there any chance i can get it around 100?
Car insurance Help for a 17 year old?
OK i'm not a troll to start off with i'm just have good bit of money, anyways i i'm 17 and i live in Ireland i have 7.500 euros to spent on my first car and car insurance anyways this is the car i want http://www.carzone.ie/search/Toyota/Celica/1.8-VVTI/201203206625052/advert?channel=CARS so do u know a car insurance that would insure me and i can go up to 15.000 euros if need to""
How can I lower my auto insurance?
I am 20 years old. I live in Florida which is by far the WORST states to have auto insurance. I've only been in 2 accidents, both not my fault. One was a small fender bender (which my friend decided to get a PIP claim even though he didnt get hurt so he could snag some money from the government). The other i totaled my car, but that was over 2 YEARS AGO. This is a no fault state which sucks because both of them werent my fault!!!!! Currently my auto insurance is 253 dollars! I'm a college student and i CANNOT afford that, but thats the cheapest one I found. Geico and all the popular ones wont even look at me. And it also adds on the my mom was in an accident (also not at fault) she got hit from behind at a red light and of course they penalized her for that too. Florida is a fraud state, they penalize you for everything when its no fault. Does anyone know how i can lower my auto insurance? It's been 2 years since I totaled my car and almost 2 and a half 3 years from the small fender bender. I also got a small speeding ticket from maybe september or december of last year, but thats it. no other tickets. thanks!""
How much Car insurance cost?
How much Car insurance cost?
""17 year old learner, got my own car - Do I just need learner insurance for now?
I'm a learner driver with my test next month and I now have my own car. I want to practice in my own car up until my test and I'm not sure whether I just need learner insurance or if the car itself needs to be insured as well? Learner insurance is around 80 for the month and for 'proper' insurance then it's around 2000. Any help?
Is Insurance rates on red cars more expensive?
Is Insurance rates on red cars more expensive?
virginia insurance stacking
virginia insurance stacking
What would be a great (cheap) beginner motorcycle for a 16 year old?
I have been looking at a 1982 honda nighthawk 450 with 13k miles on it tht was in decent shape tht i could probably get it for 900$ (and i found out insurance would be 125$ a year).....i want to broaden my search and i was wondering if there are any other bikes out there that are good beginner bikes that are cheap (not AT ALL more than 1200$)
Do you NEED insurance for a motorcycle?
meaning can you get arrested with no insurance?
Around how much is car insurance for a 19 year old new driver in the uk?
Around how much is car insurance for a 19 year old new driver in the uk?
Car insurance????? ?????????
ok i turn 17 very shortly and want a peugeot 106 diesel(which is a 1.5) it is insurance group 3 and good mpg, but would it cost much for me to insure and could i get an insurance quote from a insurance brokers at 16 without owning the car first? i hope it won't cost much but one off my mates has the peugeot 106 gti quicksilver and that's a 1.1 and his insurance is 2500 while another mate has a corsa 1.1 3 door fully mod with subs,amps,alloys head unit all covered 3rd party fire and theft at 880 a year so surely a diesel 1.5 shouldn't cost much? right.lol""
Is insure.com legit?
I was wondering if the site insure.com is legit and If they have good rates
What kind of insurance do i need to get a license in California?
what do i need to get and how do i get it if my parents do not want to put me under there policy and i do not own a car myself. and i am also looking for the cheapest possible insurance
Difficultly getting car insurance ?
i am 17 years old and my mom is buying me a car from a private dealer. the only problem there is is that my mom doesnt have a license so i have no way to get car insurance. i was wondering could i get insurance by myself if my moma signs the papers with me? also can i get a car's title in my name since im 17yrs old?
The Federal Government Insurance Plan?
If the federal Government has an insurance plan and we pay for it,where is it taken from I mean what tax pays and how much do we pay. and where is the plan located so I can see what there plan is.""
Need help wit chosing car insurance!!!?
I AM 19 AND I AM TRYING TO FIND CAR INSURANCE FOR MY VEHICLE IN THE STATE OF VA. I AM LOOKING FOR SOMETHING THAT IS CHEAP BUT HAS PRETTY GOOD COVERAGE. I AM ABOUT TO START SCHOOL IN THE FALL AND I PLAN TO COMMUNTE TO SCHOOL AND TO WORK. I AM A FEMALE AND I JUST GOT MY LICENSE.
Licence and Insurance?
im 17 years old and i have my probationary quebec licence. I am insured on the car and am able to drive it alone but with 4 points and 0 alcohol tolerance. Would i be able to drive in the USA with my licence? but i would have to get insured with an american company. any idea how much that would cost? thanks
Is there a point in learner driver insurance?
It costs circa 100 a month, but Go Compare and such are saying I could get fully insured on my girlfriend's car (which I want to learn in) for around 700 a year. Shouldn't I just go for that?""
What does financial interest mean on certificate of currency on car insurance?
I'm using my car as security on a personal loan for my pilot training. The finance company have asked for a certificate of currency on my insurance policy. I can get one from the ...show more
Where to find affordable life insurance at 64?
Where to find affordable life insurance at 64?
What is long term care insurance?
Please help me with this one. My parents are in badly need of assistance. I found this reliable website http://www.infolongtermcare.org/what-is-long-term-care. However, I need more help as much as possible.""
Is liability insurance the same as renters insurance?
Is liability insurance the same as renters insurance?
""For Home Owner Insurance purposes, is an unfinised basement included in total square footage of the house?
Are Insurance company underwriters not supposed to include unfinished living areas of the house when determing my total square footage of house for replace cost purposes? My premium went up even though the home inspector from Allstate did not know I had part of my house that is unfinished. I was not home at the time when he did this home based underwriting square footage procedure.
What are some sample average monthly health insurance payments for a 25-year-old male?
If that's not enough information, make any assumptions necessary.""
How much will car insurance cost?
I'm getting my restricted liscence this coming January, because of my job. I'm trying to figure out a budget. I'm a 15 yr. old female who drives a 2007 toyota camry. Thank you for any help in advance!:)""
Exactley how does term life insurance work?
Whats the difference between regular life insurance and term?How does term work?
""Can i drive on indian driving licence,and how much the cost for first car insurance?""
i am a international student,i have two years visa.i am 23 years old""
What all does someone under 18 need to get car insurance?
I'm under 18 years old and I need to get car insurance but I dont know if I can get it on my own. My parents do not want to put me on there insurance and I don't know if I can get it by myself. I also heard that they have to co sign for insurance? If that's true will them co signing for my insurance affect there car insurance what so ever? They think that there insurance would go up if they co signed for me but I don't think that's true. Some one please help!
""In an insurance policy, is a Ford Mustang qualified as sports car or coupe?""
A 2005-2010 Mustang. I'm and eighteen year old, first time driver. I know insurance is going to be expensive but I heard somewhere that a mustang wasn't qualified as a sports car because of the two seats in the back, and that Ford made the Mustang a four seater for this reason. Also how expensive would it be? I live in Colorado.""
Is insurance higher for a Grand Prix gt coupe?
In a couple of days I am going to be getting my license and on craigslist their is a Grand Prix gt coupe but my mom doesn't really want me to get it because she says the insurance is going to be high because it is considered a sports car is that true?
Tickets & Insurance Question?
I drive a 2000 Camry the insurance is in my aunts name........ So my question is if i got a ticket will the rates go up? If the insurance on the vehicle i drive is in her name will the rates go up if i get a ticket? Her name is also on the title of the car
Cheapest car insurance?
Whats the cheapest car insurance for a teenager? Permit .....
virginia insurance stacking
virginia insurance stacking
What are the Cheapest Veichles to insure in Ontario? or in general?
What are the cheapest to insure? or the cheapest to fix?
When will a 1989 Mustang GT Convertible become a classic?
The car is in good shape, runs great, new top and no dents. Should I sell it or keep it?""
What is the average car insurance for a 16 year old?
I'm 16 years old, and just passed my drivers license test. I live in Washington State and am going to be driving a 2002 Hyundai Elantra. Does anyone know how much I could be looking at for insurance monthly? (my mom is currently insured with Progressive) -Thanks""
""I want to but a new car in the next few months,can I transfer insurance?
It's insured for the next 6 months. When I get the new car can I transfer that insurance on to the new one? What if the quote my insurance company quotes is not competitive and I want to cancel the policy. Do I get a refund on the amount of months left or do I lose it? Thanks.
How much will Insurance cost me?
I'm 16, and I want to buy the 2012 Ford Mustang GT. I live in a nice area where the auto theft is low. I live in nothern Ohio if that makes a difference. And my parents are not paying for my insurance. Can any 1 give be a ball park estimate on a 16 year old with a sports car?""
What Are Some Good Health Insurance Companies?
I used to be a 1099 worker but just recently got switched over to a salary but i still do not have health insurance. Are there any affordable health insurance companies out there that ...show more
Any idea how much insurance for a new male driver 25 years old?
passed test january 2009, car with smallest engine something like a corsa 1.0 nothing flashy ,just need a quick kind of quote ....split up with partner whos taking me off car insurance....any insurance companies reccomended .cheers emma for a friend xxxx""
Health Insurance question?
My husband's boss won't offer them Health Insurance. Where can I call or what can I do to ask if he has to offer them insurance or not. Please help!!!!!
Getting car insurance (complicated case)?
Alright, so this is my story. I am getting new Mazda3 next week. I am 19 years old male (my dad is paying for car). My mom will pay for my insurance (full coverage). The problem is, my mom and my stepdad are divorced, but she is driving car he bought and she is paying him for that car, so she is under his All-State insurance. Now I need insurance and what to do? We obviously dont want to put my name under my stepdads insurance. Someone said to my mom that she should get new insurance (for example Progressive) for my car under her name, and then put me on her insurance, though she would never drive Mazda3, because I go to college in different town. The person said this way we would not pay as much as if Id open insurance under my name. Now and advices. Thank youOh and another question. If, let's say, car is bought under my moms name, can I get individual insurance under my name? Or only the owner of the car is allowed to do that? P.S.: please dont try to talk me out of getting ne""
Car insurance canceled my policy?
hi, my car insurance cancelled my policy one month before its due for renewal and half way threw a claim (car was stolen). they voided the policy from the date i took the insurance out 11 months ago, the reason they gave is that i am not the registered keeper and i didn't disclose this to them but i am the registered keeper because the name on the policy does not match the log book, this is a mistake i faild to notice. the mistake is on the log book my middle (second) name is in place of my surname so i sent them prove of my full name but they still cancelled my policy. is there anything i can do? i will be grateful for any advice. thanks.""
I need cheap but good car insurance what do you recommend?
I need cheap but good car insurance what do you recommend?
Auto insurance question (Mitsubishi Lancer?
I can call Allstate and find this out. However, I don't feel like staying on the line forever. Is the Mitsubishi Lancer consider a sports car according to auto insurance poilcy or is it just your average everyday sedan?""
Anyone know of an insurance company in Alabama that covers Suboxone?
Ive been checking around and BCBS said that I wouold have to wait till after a year of coverage untill they would cover that drug for some reason, also would it be considered a pre-existing condition if I was prescribed the drug before I obtained coverage?""
""What the best private insurance in colorado, for a pregnet women?""
What the best private insurance in colorado, for a pregnet women?""
Is it hard to get on Insurance with no income?
I'm going to the doctor tomorrow due to a car wreck that happened last year. I have been experiencing a lot of pain. I was just wondering, Would it be hard for me to get on Insurance at 20 years old with no income (Due to the wreck and how much pain I'm actually In).""
Affordable student health insurance?
I am a college student in Maryland and I need affordable health insurance. I don't qualify for the one through my job because I only work a few days and I go to school full time. I applied for state insurance and I was denied that.I ve looked online and everything seems pricey for me. PLEASE ADVISE!
Insurance question?
i need insurance and basically what i need to know dose any insurance cover dermatology?
Car insurance cover query?
I have had an ongoing problem with a succession of worn ignition keys that are a pain when trying to start or open the bonnet on my Ford Focus.Will standard fully comp car insurance cover the cost of a replacement key/barrel if i take it to the dealer?
Is there a price auto-insurance difference between a 2 door and 4 door Honda Civic?
Here is my situation which could possibly affect the the insurance pricing. I just turned 16 and my dad and I are looking at a 2008 Honda Civic EX-L Coupe and Honda Civic EX/LX (not sure model) Sedan. He is worried the insurance will cost more for the 2 door coupe? Will this make a difference in insurance cost? My logic is that a Honda Civic 2 door is not exactly that much of a sporty vehicle and is still a very reliable car so I need a good answer. Thanks
What is a good truck that has low Insurance and is reliable?
my dad and i are trying to start selling at the flea market and going around buying and selling stuff to make money but we need a truck to haul some of it around but we dont wanna put alot of money in a truck before we know if its worth it so what is a truck that is like a couple thousand probbaly around 4000 at the most on craigslist that has really low insurance is reliable so were not stuck on the side of the road some day and that can be used as a work truck thats probbaly what we need outta it but if its possable low mileage and isent all high tech becuase we dont wanna fix that **** and is cheap to fix
Cheap auto insurance?
Where is a good place to get cheap auto insurance? Im a 22 y/o female that lives in CA. I need full coverage (liability, collission and comprehensive) on my 2003 Honda Civic. My driving record isnt too bad. Thanks in advance.""
Will my car Insurance rates up if my car was vandalized?
My car was vandalized and there was about $1100 in damage. I m paying the $500 deductable and my insurance is paying the rest. Will my rates go up?
Is insurance required to buy a car?
I live in the state of Washington. I just turned 18 and obtained my driver's license. However, I have been driving for two years now without insurance and license :/ fortunately without any encounters with the law. Anyway, I want to buy my own car now, my first car, so I'm looking for something local on craigslist. My question is, is it required for one to have insurance in the state of Washington in order to buy a car? I've obviously never done this before so if you could explain how this works I would appreciate it. 1.) What exactly do I need to pay for besides the car? (license plates, registration?) and 2.) Do I need to have insurance? (or can I just pay the person for the car, get the paperwork, and it's done, because I can't afford insurance at the moment. Again I've never done this before). Thank you""
Car insurance?
my car is not insured, my friend wants to borrow it and has own insurance for their car, she allowed to drive any car with the owners consent, will her insurance be valid as i have no insurance, i belive that it wont be but they telling me differant, can someone please help me and settle this argument once and for all thank you""
""Please tell me the difference between insure , assure , and ensure . Thank you""
Please tell me the difference between insure , assure , and ensure . Thank you""
virginia insurance stacking
virginia insurance stacking
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/average-how-much-do-you-spend-utilities-each-month-jayden-weber/"
0 notes
Link
So long story short, I (20M) had a girl (19F) express interest in me last semester in the spring thru one of our colleges FB pages (you can anonymously post about someone you like pretty much) and she posted on there about me, because she saw me like the last week of class and wasnt able to talk to me in person. She added me on facebook and insta, but I never reached out to her. Fast forward to this semester, and two weeks in we start DMing on insta. She gives me her number, then like two days after that she asks for my snapchat. I hung out with her and one of our mutual friends one night, then her and I hung solo maybe 4 or 5 times after that (she asked me to go out with her over half the time). Last Wednesday we went out for coffee and did homework together/hung out for half the day, and later that night we started texting, I said i liked her and she said she felt the same about me. Given that Ive never been in a relationship or dated anyone, I asked what we were. we both said and agreed that we wanna just keep hanging out and getting to know each other and take it slow, but that we did really like each other.The thing is ever since then she's seemed a little more distant. She was a week behind on 2-3 of her online courses and had to make up the work, and said she couldnt hang out, which i completely understand, but then Ill see her posting snap stories with her other friends. I get that its only been a week and it could just be that she really is just super busy (because she is), but she got less responsive to texts and cant find time to hang or whatever.I have run into her around campus maybe 2-3 times since then, and everything seems more than ok when we're in person, like we'll hang and do homework or something for a couple hours, and Ill walk her back to her dorm or whatever and she'll initiate a hug goodbye. We've also been doing good morning and good night texts for the past week or two. Last night we hung out late and I walked her to her dorm and had a long walk to mine and she texted me and said "let me know when you get back safely pls!". I'm very prone to overthinking things and I definitely am here haha. Ive talked to some friends about it and they all said the samething - everythings fine, shes just busy, give it another week or so and if shes all caught up on work and still seems distant than ask whats up.I know im probably overthinking it, but do you guys think everythings alright? I feel myself starting to seem a lil too needy now and Im gonna try and back off a bit, i really dont wanna fuck this up haha. Thank you guys! via /r/dating_advice
0 notes