#couldn't decide on one so whateves
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Bonus:
#almost forgot my weekly selfie of the week post!!#couldn't decide on one so whateves#bonus is me finally spotting the white hair on my chin 😭#i was okay with white hairs on my hair i don't know about facial hair as well oof#okay -#hope y'all having a good day and the week has been treating you or treats you well ♥️#😊😊😊#personal#it's a me
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POV. You're both a blonde, blue themed capitan, with some messed up age and a friend who supposedly "died" during the war but then came back missing a limb/limbs and you somehow ended up on opposite sides of the fight, and also a different friend who you fought one war with and another war with their child/children
And obviously, I had to add this as well
#star wars#my art#fanart#the clone wars#marvel#capitan rex#ct-7567#capitan america#steve rogers#bucky barnes#howard stark#tony stark#arc trooper echo#tbb echo#ct 1409#anakin skywalker#the skywalker twins#idk if i should tag all of them if they're only mentioned but whatever#i think i went through the five stages of grief when drawing steves hair#it just wouldn't look right#but then i gave up and just let it be#i also couldn't decide on the suit that i wanted to draw so they are two different ones#i think the first one might not even exist and just be something i imagined because i couldnt decide
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Ares and his sons: Deimos & Phobos
#greek mythology#ares#ares god of war#deimos#phobos#ares and his children#this is one matter i will defend ares no matter what - he was a good dad to his kiddos#ares being violent? ares betraying zeus? sure why not whatever. but ares being bastard to his kids? nope sorry not in this house#i'm so picky when it comes to pop culture and ares lol#cienie's art#couldn't decide which version i like the best so here comes all three#tw: blood
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Actually you know what, I'm gonna post this. Check it out, I'm fiddling with this PMV. Spoils the whole game ofc. And the name of the song is pure imagination by Fiona Apple!
Also I'm apparently a big fan of drawing moon laying down 😂 total count including scrapped drawings is 5 (technically 6)
#rain world#animation#video#wip#Pmv#Yeah I busted most of this out yesterday in one 9 hour long tunnel-visioned drawing sesh#(new meds)#LMFAO but yeah at this point I put aboutttt 16 hours into this and I'm quite proud of how it's come out so far#I had a lot of trouble with Arti's design. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do for the longest time#Then I got to the shot of her screaming and was like yeah. Max floof. Momma bear arti. Yesss#God forbid I ever use the same design twice#On that note I have no idea where that sexy saint design came from. I love it. It just came out of me#There were a few things I wanted to fix before uploading but literally whatever#I'm gonna redraw so much it doesn't even matter#The ending is on its way too. I already have it roughly planned out; classic double twist ending ✨#But I decided to scope creep by making it full color so who knows if it'll get finished#I'll sketch it in gold just in case#Love that this is the first thing I do upon finally getting some energy back. My projects? No. Talk to friends? Nah#Make an entire pmv? Bingo#Coughs. Anyways
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🩸🗡️🩸
#mutilated carapace#outfit#I couldn't decide which colour looks better ... this one or the previous ... so whatever I am posting both gifsets#bg3 mine#my gifs#bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion#bg3edit#red#gamingedit#video games#lgbtvideogames#astarion ancunin#astarion ancunín#my post#my posts
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good morning from my room in my rents' house where i relocated to after 11pm with the help of my sister because i absolutely flipped my shit when i heard something scurrying across the floor of my room last night.
#around 10pm i freaked out because something tried to get under the bathroom door and then disappeared when i yelled in suprise#it looked like a big beetle or roach but i didn't see it long enough to know either way#spent an hour stressed af sitting on my bed because the floor was lava#i think partly because i was nervous about being jumpscared by whatever this was#eventually managed to sort out the lights and the bathroom and decided to go to sleep#and i think i could have dealt with the knowledge that this thing was somewhere in the apartment if i couldn't HEAR IT#suddenly#loudly#in the room#immediately panicked#could not have prevented that reaction in myself#definitely couldn't bring myself down#jammed my fingers in my ears so i couldn't hear it anymore and had to wait for my sister to come and get me#except of course i couldn't get up to open the door so she had to get the spare from my aunt#i'm certain my yelling/screaming scared whatever it was because it wasn't in the room by the time anyone got there#it was not dignified in any way and today i'm going to have to go back to my place#and try to work out how it got in#and try to block every fucking space there is between skirting and floor board#which is basically the entire flat#bugs can exist and i will not be happy about it but i can accept it#but they CANNOT be loud enough that you can HEAR THEM SCURRY#idk what it was!#i thought it was a big roach#i have never seen one in the houses here before#deeply deeply unhappy
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Made my fields of mistria oc, Vesta, with this picrew by maetheellen! I got the template from here ♡
#some little fun facts about vesta: she has terrible pollen allergies. so it was a choice for her to become a farmer.#(they just wanted a free house okay)#while she finds insects to be cute she doesn't want them near her. ever.#but she can't say no to luc when he asks her to go bug hunting 😔#they're a bit of a mystery amongst the townsfolk. no one really knows much about them or where they came from.#maple luc and dell love playing games with them! vesta gets really into whatever role they put her in.#fields of mistria#oc vesta#fom farmer#•°☆°•#tried drawing her but then remembered im bad a drawing so decided very quickly that i was over it#i got annoyed because i couldn't get one thing to look right lol#and any chance of me trying to improve was gone. i dont have the patience for drawing i guess
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You run risequotes?
"Run" seems like a generous term, haha. But yes, that blog is mine!
#ask#I post those at the weirdest hours because it's usually right before I go to bed or while feeding my daughter in the middle of the night#I've been meaning to fill the queue back up one of these days#sometimes there's a quote I wanna make a comment on#but then I'm like... is it weird to reblog my own post just to add a comment in the tags?#I think I might have done that like once or twice when I couldn't resist#the show has some pretty great lines!#I'd comment on so many more of them if I wasn't so self-conscious about the whole “reblogging my own posts” thing#although I'm sure nobody would mind#this is kinda the “do whatever you want” site anyways right?#and like 500-some days ago I decided I wanted to start posting daily quotes I guess#admittedly I have missed some days and had to double-up the next day#so you know#“run” really does seem like a generous term!#glad you enjoy them though! (I assume)
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I am compelled to grow a Cornish Cross to maximum size just to have a really big chicken dinner. Just a big honkin roast chicken, like twice the size as you can get at the grocery store.
#ny says#i wish i had weighed that big CX rooster I raised one time#but for some reason i wasn't allowed to buy a proper scale so couldn't???#also wish I'd actually taken photos of him he was awesome he'd waddle after me everywhere#i think i had to quarter it up bc i wasn't actually allowed to determine what to do with meats at the time#so didn't get to roast it. pretty sure didn't roast it. because it was enormous.#MY KITCHEN NOW THO SO HAHA. I DECIDE WHAT TO DO WITH THE FOOD#ALSO RAISE THE FOOD SO TWICE THE WORK BUT WHATEVER.
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@beatingheart-bride
It certainly was an adjustment: For so long, it had just been him and Emily, against the whole world it seemed. From the time that they first met to that long stretch of time before they migrated to California and found the Mansion, it had just been the two of them, and for that time, they were all they needed. In some ways, it was a bit of a culture shock when they moved to Gracey Manor, and found themselves in the company of not just familiar faces like Dorian and Elizabeth, but suddenly surrounded by like-minded spooks, spooks who didn't bat an eye at their relationship, and were instead whole-heartedly supportive of them. After ages of having to hide their love from prying eyes, it was bizarre, to be able to be so open.
And then came his parents, and that brought with it its own necessary adjustments, to have his mother and father back in his (after)life after so long. To not only reunite with his mother, but to reconnect with his father and make amends, forging the sort of father-son bond he never thought he'd ever have, and to have both June and Wilhelm so readily embrace Emily? It was a lot to take in the moment, but it had paid dividends: He had his parents back, Emily had a pair of parental figures to turn to, and their children had a set of loving grandparents to grow up around.
And now his uncles and his grandparents were in the mix, and that opened so many doors! Clearly, both the Paces and the Burkes had taken a shine to Emily (which put Randall over the moon, seeing his wife have a loving and supportive family unit after so long), and it made him so happy, to see his father reconnecting with his older brother, and his mother so overjoyed to be reunited with her parents, and the children were warming up to the new members, who loved them (and him, he had to remind himself) as soon as they laid eyes on them. It would mean birthdays and holidays together, letters and cards exchanged...for so long it had been him and his mother, then himself and Emily, and now...their little family had grown so much!
"Oh, she looked like a little angel, didn't she?" Randall grinned, his undead heart fluttering at the memory of his little girl, looking so cherubic as she lay between her grandparents, any unease or uncertainty felt previously having largely evaporated.
Lon similarly looked angelic between his uncles; at this memory, Randall couldn't help but chuckle amusedly, adding, "Y'know, I think we've finally found someone-two someone's, in fact-that can wear out even our boy!"
#((ugh it sounds absolutely horrible! and to have it happen to you as a little kid; you're already frightened by something))#((you saw in a movie...and then that something that already freaked you out came for a midnight visit))#((and you have a terrifying instance of feeling like you're about to be killed by your sleep paralysis demon? jeez!!))#((again; i'm very fortunate that i've never had something happen like that...but i feel like i had something similar))#((when i was in high school i got sick overnight-don't know what it was; but it made me feel awful))#((and it certainly didn't help that my new bedsheets were REALLY uncomfortable))#((and i felt like my bed was trying to mug me so i got out of bed and decided to lay down in the living room))#((why i chose to lay on the floor i couldn't tell you but i did; and i don't know if i dozed off or what))#((but i had SOME kind of nightmare where all of these monsters from all these different movies))#((were standing around me; just staring me down-the one i remember the most vividly))#((was der maschinenmensch from 'metropolis'! they never made a move towards me; they just watched me))#((and it was extremely unsettling to say the least! i don't *think* it was sleep paralysis))#((but whatever it was; it made an already-rough night of feeling sick worse!))#outofhatboxes#beatingheart-bride#V:Two Worlds; One Family
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So about the story I mentioned in my recent tags...
When I was on eighth grade we had a trip at the end of the year to "celebrate" finishing elementary and moving on to high school. It's pretty common to do that in Brazil and usually people like going to coastal cities to enjoy the beach and the hot weather and whatnot. I went with almost my entire class, and we were also allowed to invite a friend from outside the school if we wanted, and my classmate Fernanda called her neighbor to come along. Sadly I cannot remember her name.
At the time, I've got to a point in life where hair had started growing on my body, and particularly on my private parts, and while sometimes I bothered to shave my legs, I didn't feel like shaving my pubes. First because I was worried I would hurt myself. And second because I didn't really see a point. I still saw myself as a literal kid despite already having my period and everything.
Unfortunately (most of) the other girls in my class didn't see it that way. They would make mocking comments behind my back, but loud enough so I could hear them, about how I was hairy and weird and pretty much "dirty" for not being hairless everywhere.
One day we were at the beach, and they were being more directly cruel to me so I went somewhere and just began crying. I cried because I felt ugly and disgusting.
Then Fernanda's friend found me.
I didn't know anything about this girl. I was rooming with her and Fernanda during the trip because they had an extra bed in their room, but until that point I had never really talked to her outside of very casual conversation. I remember she was one or two years older than me, dark skin, was super extroverted, loved partying (she would go to literally every party during the trip and come back hella late). She was the most extreme opposite of me there could ever be.
She mentioned she saw me isolate myself from the group, and that she saw what the others girls were saying about me. I remember she looked me in the eyes and said "Look, don't listen to them. Don't let them ruin this that should be a fun, happy moment for you. You just ended eight grade and you're at the beach and enjoying yourself and doing your thing, that's all that matters!" And then dragged me to go to the water with her.
And this total stranger, this girl that literally had no conection to me previously, who didn't have any "obligation" to comfort me or do anything particularly nice to me... She went out of her way to make me feel better. A person that had nothing to do with me.
For the rest of the trip I remember I stuck with her and Fernanda for most of it, along with my two other guy friends that were my "besties" at the time, and I had a pretty lovely time, covered myself in temporary/henna tattoos, even went to some of the parties with her, got flirted with by boys for the first time ever...
And even if I don't remember her name, I hope she went on to live her best life, because she was such a kind and lovely person, I still remember clearly how we talked at the beach that day, as if it were yesterday. And for that I'll forever be grateful.
#long post#also one of the girls that were putting me down decided to make dreads (while white)#and I remember they looked AWFUL and she hated them very much#but didn't know/couldn't undo them so she spent the rest of the trip like that#karmic retribution or whatever#personal post
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sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg
#i was justttttt thinking that aw it's so sad that navratri music is playling everywhere and i don't have friends to go with#like last year atleast i had tuition sorta friends but now ive isolated them too it sucks#but i was like well it's okay ill do it when i grow up celebrate every festival i didn't get to in my house because we just never do#and then she calls and she's like let's go this club jahan every year famous hota hai full celebration#and i was like ehh i don't want to i don't even know how to play and ill have to convince dad for raat can't we just#go to a cafe or something dopahar mein uske liye i don't even need permission#and she even agreed but she sounded sad and disappointed about it so i was like well fuck it you want to go club na#and she was like yeahhh so i was like aagh okay and i asked and we're going tomorrow!!!!!#and it's so ridiculous like i just say i don't want to go but it's actually so exciting to go someplace other than a cafe!!!!#and i was complaining to her ki okay ill go but i won't dress up and five mins later me and mumma are making full outfit with dupatta#style decided jewellery she has saved for years that are specifically navratri types and she's like we'll get my blouse altered it's fine#you know being sick has really given me perspective on my parents#im not going to hate my mom anymore i never used to growing up i always thought she was brave but helpless#but a stupid day in 12th i realised when we were talking that technically she COULF get divorced she just#doesn't want to because she'll be alone and she thinks we're growing up and leaving anyway so why should she let go of financial#stability for us. which is wild to me because girl you can't buy anything you want without his permission so i don't understand what's the#point if he's rich or poor but whatever whatever she's been raised this way etc etc#but anyway being sick really made me realise who the real monster is😭 all dad did was shout horribly at me all the time#and was like don't you dare take meds they're fake this is all just junk food stop eating it and you'll be fine. when i was literally#having 103 FEVER.#and mom was the one who was making me different drinks juices cutting up fruits staying with me as i get my blood drawn#checking my fever sote jaagte#like wow i literally wouldn't have gotten better if it wasn't for her and i couldn't believe how attentive and nice she was being#like yes i understand she just thinks this is her duty she's just playing her role a mother a housewife but still#idk i just realized that okay atleast she's good at being a mother dad isn't even that why am i feeling good about him when his love#not even love his politeness is so fucking conditional#and mom healed me even tho i told her about clubbing and drinking lots of alcohol she's kinda against it because she's seen#horrible things in life family yucky men but still she understands ans trusts my sister mostly and know we just do it for fun and she#wasn't even mad!!!!!!! like wow ooay#moms love is actually not conditional for the first time in my life i felt like if i fall maybe she could be there to catch me and dad wld
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i wish trying to do things with groups of people was not the most horrible time wasting activity on earth
#just went to local palestine action group meeting because i wanted to figure out if i could carpool to protest this weekend and the answer#was yes but then i spent the next hour and 15 minutes standing in a circle with people repeating the same things back to each other#like ok we are all here because we know it's bad. can we not talk endlessly in circles PLEASE#they did have other things planned but their speaker couldn't make it or whatever but like a bunch of people turned up anyway and i feel#like we could have accomplished something besides talking about how bad genocide is and what documentary they're wanting to show later#i should have known better and just emailed but whatever.....i did connect with someone i can get a ride with who lives in my town but then#they did not offer me a ride back when they left and i wasnt sure if it was socially acceptable to ask so i didnt so then i had to walk 20#minutes to the bus stop and supposedly the bus is coming in a couple minutes but of course. it won't#i'm so annoyed lmao i'm not going to get home until almost 9 and its going to be pitch black and there are no streetlights and i already#barely know where i'm going#not usually one to experience hanger but i definitely have barely eaten anything today and am angry but maybe for separate reasons#i can't even decide what i want for dinner!!!! goddammit#if i didn't have tomorrow off i might get lost in the ocean fr#me
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I love being the always single person in my family, mad respect to my sister for constantly dating guys for the last 8 years, I would have shot myself
#whenever my mom asks if i have love news of my own while we're talking about my sister's newest catch and i say no#i hope she doesn't feel pity because like. this is the life that i choose. my sister's ex boyfriends were enough for ME even#and i only met a handful of them personally but heard more than enough shit about them#i just always think i'm only flirting with some guys only to never talk to them again or ghost them because it's fun#fat girl who's always been seen as ugly by other people gets to flirt with good looking people is the ultimate ego boost arc#if i ever date anyone seriously again it better be true love and end in kids and marriage until death or i'll live as a hermit#until that happens tho...... life is a party i don't wanna miss a thing break some men's heart get revenge yolo etc etc#also the thought of actively dating freaks me out. if i meet someone and we tolerate each other long term that's good#but dating apps or going on dates with several people and deciding who's the best like on the bachelorette?? death first#plus i lowkey don't like men as a concept. at least the type i've dated. i guess you could say my last ex traumatized me hahaha 👍🏻 (🔨🔨)#i think i'm too young to be in a committed relationship anyway. or even to seek getting into one. there are much more important things rn#i know former classmates my age are having kids or getting married but idgaf the one who got engaged last year has been with him for 7 year#which is a decent time tbh you change quite a bit during that time and if it feels right why not#but i can't wrap my head around searching for a relationship when you don't even have a stable job and know what else you want in life#rambling again sorryyyy but yeah proud single here and i'm not saying this out of spite because i genuinely enjoy it#all relationships i've been in were so draining (tbf they were long distance too) and got me at rock bottom and had me filled with regret#also these men can be so controlling and jealous when you just wanna go out with friends while they do whatever they want too#but when you say you don't want a jealous partner they think that's a free pass for them to cheat like what the actual fuck#do you see the difference between being unnecessarily jealous when you hang out with friends and being rightfully jealous when they cheat??#at this point idk what to say. i'm very entertained by my friends' dating journeys but that couldn't be me#all the gossip i provide for them is which people i flirted with for the ego and who i ghosted and who ghosted me#mel talks
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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up
#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director#and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production#and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out#but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again#i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately#so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me#i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me#i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added#and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad#anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great#but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else#but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing#and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us#and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing#and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more#especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING#and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented#if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt#i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help#and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh#brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.
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something something a character’s magic abilities being used as a metaphor for psychosis not in the godawful “everything was a hallucination the whole time uwu” way but in a “they can hear/see things other people can’t” way that is handled much more respectfully
#i can't believe im including this man in my post in a nice way for once do not be fooled i hate him so much but this one line was good#sorry i was thinking about episode 14 of the anime which is a fucking wild filler episode#where sakura couldn't decide going to the zoo or whatever other place#so then she straight up started hallucinating animal ears/limbs on the other ppl (except syaoran for some reason)#and then eventually it. look i really don't know how to explain this episode if you haven't seen it because it's insane#but like she's literally just hallucinating at first i don't know what to tell you#that episode is also crazy bc syaoran basically tells her she's causing the magic incidents that make the cards and she doesn't realize#that it applies to all the situations not just that specific one
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