#could put it in the oven with just the light on but that freaks me out; I don’t wanna have the oven on for like days (even tho it wouldn’t
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why-the-heck-not · 9 months ago
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started a sourdough starter!!! It’s not even that much abt bread; I just like the idea of having a pet and this is about the max amount of responsibility I’m looking for rn
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nicholasgoodgirl · 3 months ago
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that was mean- nicholas
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summary: nicholas was having a bad week and gave you the silent treatment.
warning: argument, crying, happy ending
a/n: i couldn't stop thinking abt this no joke. so ofc i had to write it out
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from late at night till he left early this morning for work nicholas has been either quiet rude or both.
we haven't spoken to eachother or not even silents acts of love. nothing.
he cut his alarm clock off and i tried to give him a hug before he got out the bed and he pushed me off of him "not right now" he grumbled and got out of bed
when he left for work i said 'bye' to maybe break the silence shared between us, but i got no response. it was starting to get lonely. i missed my bestfriend that was also my boyfriend
i had nobody to mess with or someone to talk to about my day.
to stop these lingering thoughts i go back to bed to maybe get my mind off of things.
--
i wake up around 8 am which was later than the time i usally woke up around, but today was sorta a lazy day.
it was gloomy not much sun was shining, it rained a little here and there. it was more of a slow day for me so the extra rest was very much needed
i text my boyfriend forgetting about the whole silent treatment ordeal.
me: how's your day going so far?? :)
and to no suprise i was left on delivered and soon left on seen. i messaged him periodically throught the day; hoping that maybe he would reply
it was almost time for dinner which normally nicholas cooks cause he's just better at it, but i didn't know when he was coming home or if he would even do it, so i look up some quick easy recipes and nothing struck my fancy but the pizza recipe. cause how hard could it really be?
i put a packet of yeast into my bowl along with some flour, water, oil, and salt. i let that sit for 30 minutes then im back to cooking again.
spreading flour onto the counter and placing the dough onto it; kneading it into a circle shape. this was harder than i thought
i look around for the marinara sauce and i put it into a different bowl and add a few light seasonings.
i paste that onto the dough, then i sprinkle some alot of cheese onto the pizza and my additional toppings bell peppers, spinach, and mushrooms.
i was so proud of myself especially sense i wasnt the cook, out of me and nicholas. i was really excited for him to try what i made but again i highly doubt he would even eat the food.
i put the pizza away into the oven completely forgetting to set a timer and put on a movie while i wait.
--
a smell of burning was the first thing that woke me up. "shit shit shit" i repeat totally freaking out remembering i left the pizza in the oven.
i get a rag and ineffectivley wave smoke out the air. when i open the oven it smelled horrible. i was coughing from all the smoke that had entered my lungs.
i take the burning pizza out and throw it into the sink, and hose it down with the water.
thats when i hear the front door open and mentally face palm. "what's that smell?" he asks "i kinda burnt a pizza that i tried to make"
"of course you did" he mutters sounding unimpressed. "and the fuck you mean 'kinda' you obviously did burn a damn pizza" he gestures to the chunk of charcoal burnt pizza
"it's not like i did it on purposes or something if thats what you think" my tone sounding a bit confronting.
"It's smells fucking horrible so open a damn window first off" he took a step closer raising his voice.
"you don't pay for shit so i don't understand why you almost had this place in flames secondly. then you also wanna blow up my phone while im working for crying out loud what do you want from me!" he yelled directly in my face
and im sure he knows by now i hate being yelled at. it's something my parents did and overall doesn't solve anything
i just take it, i didn't wanna fight so i go over to the nearest window and crack it open so the smoke clears.
my eyes watered from all the harsh words he could dish out but not the equal amount of attention "well.. you are- when i was.. ugh s'not my fault" i couldn't get a full sentence out. i felt so belittled in this moment
"im going to bed i don't have time for your stupid ass shit" those words hurt more than he thinks.
he had the most patience for me, always making time for us and now he doesnt.
"that's so mean.. you're being so mean" i wipe some tears that had fallen. i turned away from him silently crying.
the peices of my hair stuck to my tear-soaked cheeks. "wait- I'm sorry please don't cry" nicholas' voice was filled with regret.
i lazily push him away from me but he doesn't budge. his arms wrap around me bringing me into his familiar embrace. "I'm so sorry for being an asshole. I've been having a long shitty week and i know thats not an excuse so you don't even have to forgive me."
"you're everything to me. i swear i didn't mean it." he adds
the unforgettable cruel words he'd said to me earlier shoved ontop of his sweet loving words made me cry more.
i let him hold my trembling body as sobs tore through my chest, each inhale was ragged and uneven.
my hands clutched the material of his shirt "im so sorry sweetheart i never wanna make you cry" he explains in such a low voice, giving my hair strokes in attempt to calm me.
my face still burried into his neck tears now starting to dry away, and my breathing starting to even out. he carried me over to the couch and placed me in his lap
i was drained from all the crying, the tense feeling in my body beginning to melt away when i really started to feel nicholas' touch. my eyes drooped again this time staying shut for longer.
i was too tired to resist the sleep that had tooken over. and being cradled in his arms didn't help.
"I'll order pizza for the both of us alright?" he took me off of his lap and placed me on our couch. then lays one of our throw blankets ontop of me. "can we talk in the mornin'?" is the last thing i remember asking before dozing off.
a/n: can yall tell idk how to make pizza
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writingwithciara · 2 months ago
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birthday cake -quinn hughes-
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summary: quinn believes everyone forgot his birthday in favor of thanksgiving. but that's simply not the case
word count: 2k
pairing: quinn hughes x reader
notes: in honor of the love of my life's birthday, i decided to cook up this little gem. hope everyone enjoys it. (should've been posted on his birthday but i got super busy because of thanksgiving & other projects i'm working on)
"hey quinn. do you have any plans for monday?"
"actually, yes." quinn looked up from his phone as brock entered the room. "why?"
"my sister wanted to invite you over to her place for thanksgiving. she said she gave you an invitation the other day but you just shoved it in your bag and that you haven't said anything to her since then."
"that's what that was? i thought she was just handing me some mail that was put in the wrong box."
"have you not seen her since tuesday? you live across the hall from each other."
"i know but our schedules haven't given us the time to chat. she's working when i'm home, and vice versa."
"you should text her and tell her you're going to be busy on monday. i think it would be best coming from you. maybe she won't be upset."
"i'll text her after practice." quinn set his phone in his bag and finished lacing up his skates.
during practice, everyone was talking about y/n's thanksgiving dinner. quinn was the only one who wouldn't be attending. and while he felt bad about it, seeing as she was one of his good friends, he also started to feel bad for himself.
monday was also his 25th birthday but it seemed like no one remembered.
practice went well. so when quinn walked to his car, he sent a text to y/n to let her know he wouldn't be able to show up to her dinner. he made up a lie and said he wouldn't be home.
his plan was to just stay home and watch game highlights while cooking his own meal.
when monday rolled around, y/n and brock were finishing up the food preparations when a thought occurred to y/n.
"oh my freaking god. it's the 14th today. how could i be so stupid?"
"i would love to object, or even agree, depending on what it's about." brock looked at his sister with a curious expression. he couldn't quite read her like he normally could. "care to let me know what you're talking about?"
"october 14th. quinn's birthday! how could i forget? i bake him a cake every year." y/n set her oven mitts back on the rack. "i am a terrible friend."
"i'm sure it's fine. quinn probably forgot about the cake anyway. pretty sure you're in the clear, y/n."
"brock, i've made the cake every single year since we've been friends. he loves it. you should see the way his face lights up when i deliver it to him."
"are you sure it's the cake he likes to see every year?" brock raised his eyebrow, earning a slap to the shoulder from his younger sister.
"brock, no."
"look, just bake him a cake today and give it to him tomorrow. i'm sure he won't mind."
"i don't have the time or oven space to bake a whole new cake." y/n shook her head. "i'm gonna run to the store and buy him one instead.
"people are going to be here any moment. i'm afraid it's gonna have to wait."
"can you please keep them company? i'll be back in 20 minutes."
"you're lucky you're my sister and i love you." brock smiled. "now go fix your friendship with your neighbor."
"love you, brocky." y/n kissed his forehead and went out to her car. she hated the idea of buying a cake from the store. it didn't have the personal touch that her homemade cake did and she knew it wouldn't live up to it either. but she was desperate.
when she got back to her apartment, brock was the only one there.
"nobody's here yet?"
"not yet. mom and steve are almost here. been getting location updates from steve."
"did he let mom drive?"
"yeah. that's probably why they're not here yet." brock chuckled and grabbed the cake from her hands. "this looks amazing. are you gonna try to pass it off as your own?"
"no. i could never lie to quinn." y/n smiled and took it back, setting it down in the fridge. "i'm just going to tell him the truth."
"that's new for you. are you that honest with everyone?"
"i don't think so. there's something different about quinn. he makes me want to be honest."
"have you ever lied to me?"
"no. of course not."
"okay. good." he looked at his sister. "i want you to answer a question then. i'm only gonna ask it once."
"alright. shoot."
"is there something going on between you quinn?"
"no, brock. that would be ridiculous."
"okay. i'm gonna ask it twice. is there something going on between you and quinn?"
"no. you told me he was off limits for dating, as well as the rest of your teammates. but i would be lying to you if i said i didn't think he was really good looking."
"you really think so?" brock's eyes widened at his sisters confession.
"mhm. i do. like, super insanely good looking."
"okay. well, thanks for the honesty." brock couldn't help but chuckle.
before y/n could respond, there was a knock at the door, followed by a few voices.
"sounds like your guests are here. i'll let them in." brock went to the door and opened it, letting their parents inside, along with a few other guests.
y/n spent the first half hour finishing up the meal before brock served it to everyone.
conversation flowed easily around the table, but y/n was stuck thinking about quinn. all his friends were with her and he was most likely alone.
when she stood up abruptly, it caught everyone's attention.
"are you okay?" brock asked.
"yeah. i just have something i really need to do." y/n walked over to the fridge and grabbed the cake. she left her apartment without another word and knocked on quinn's door.
"hey. what are you doing here?" quinn smiled when he answered the door.
"happy birthday." y/n handed him the cake and walked back towards her apartment.
quinn was left standing in his own doorway, staring at the cake. he was used to getting a cake from y/n every year. it was always homemade & this time, it was store bought. but he didn't care. someone actually remembered his birthday.
y/n walked back into her apartment and sat back down at the table. she ignored the looks everyone was giving her and continued eating. everyone went back to eating and talking with each other, quickly forgetting that y/n disappeared for a moment.
a few hours later, everyone was heading out. brock stayed behind to help y/n clean up.
"what did quinn say when you gave him the cake?"
"how did you know that's what i did?"
"you were beating yourself up over missing his birthday. and you left right after i told mom about quinn's goal the other night."
"i wasn't even paying attention to the conversations around me. all i could think about was how quinn's friends were here and nobody mentioned his birthday. i felt bad so i took the cake to him."
"and what did he say?"
"i have no idea. i came right back over here." y/n finished washing the last dish and handed it to brock so he could dry it.
"maybe you should go see him right now. i'm sure he would appreciate some company for the last little bit of his birthday. Oh, and take him some leftovers. dinner was delicious and i guarantee he'll love it." brock grabbed a plate and put all the food he could fit onto it. when he handed it to his sister, she hesitated. "take it to him, y/n. you can't keep beating yourself up over forgetting his birthday."
"you're right." she took the plate and walked to the door. "i'll be back."
"i'll be here." brock chuckled and started putting away the rest of the leftovers.
y/n knocked on quinn's door and waited patiently. when he opened it, she handed him the plate. he looked at her and smiled.
"what's this for?"
"thought you might like some leftovers from today."
"oh. well thank you. smells delicious." he set the plate on the table by the door. "would you like to come in? or do you still have company over there?"
"just brock." y/n smiled and walked into his apartment. "so, how was your birthday?"
"it was good. i got to have breakfast with my parents and then i went to the gym for a bit. then i got a cake delivered to me. it was amazing, by the way."
"really?" y/n smiled. "i'm sorry it wasn't homemade this year. i'm ashamed to admit that i briefly forgot about your birthday and i didn't have enough time to bake you a cake. but i can make up for it if you want."
"look, it doesn't matter to me whether it was homemade or store bought. all i care about is the company that comes with it each year." quinn smiled. "also, thank you for stopping by today. i thought everyone forgot my birthday."
"but quinn, i did forget."
"you remembered eventually. that's all that matters to me. things like that stand out and i appreciate it. more than you think." he sighed. "other than my parents, you're the only one who remembered. so, thank you."
"you're welcome. and i promise i'll make up for almost missing your 25th birthday."
"you don't have to. you're here now. and honestly, your company is the only thing i wanted this year."
"wait, really?"
"yeah. it's the one thing i look forward to for every birthday, no matter how brief it is."
"are you serious?"
"yes. very serious." quinn hesitantly reached for y/n's hand and when she didn't yank it away, he slowly intertwined his fingers with hers. "i'm not sure if you can tell but i like you. i've liked you since the first second i saw you move in across the hall. but unfortunately, i can't do anything about this."
"and why not?" y/n was confused. she liked quinn and it was becoming evident he liked her too. but she didn't understand why nothing could happen.
"you're brock's little sister. it wouldn't be right. it just-"
quinn was unable to finish his sentence. he was pulled forward and y/n's lips were placed on his, softly.
"what was that for?" he asked when y/n pulled away from the kiss.
"your birthday present, dummy." y/n smiled. "and because i like you, quinn."
"you....you do?"
"yes. i don't bake a cake for anyone else's birthday, you know."
"but what about brock?" quinn looked all over her face.
"i'm 24 years old, quinn. brock can't tell me who i can and can't have feelings for." y/n smiled and leaned closer. "besides, i think he actually wants us to be together."
"what makes you say that?"
"he kept encouraging me to come over here to see you. even gave me the plate so i'd have a reason to come over here." she glanced at quinn. "not that i didn't already have a really good reason to come and see you tonight anyway."
"i'm really glad you came over tonight. and kissed me." quinn smirked. "god, i sound like a freaking teenager when he gets his very first girlfriend."
"it's cute." y/n smiled and looked at where her leg touched his. "i think i know the answer to this, but are you enjoying your birthday?"
"i really am." he couldn't help the smile that came upon his face. "i'm still trying to get over the initial shock of you liking me back."
"it's the same for me. guess we can figure it out together, huh?"
"yeah. i guess we can." quinn held her hand and looked at her fingers. "is every part of you just perfect?"
"yes. i do believe every part of me is perfect. perfect in my own special way."
quinn chuckled at the girl he oh so admired. "would it be alright if i kissed you?"
"quinn, you know you don't have to ask." y/n smiled and gave quinn what he wanted. really, what they both wanted.
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chaos-in-deepspace · 5 months ago
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L&DS Xavier: Bunny Tears | 18+
So anyway Kirakanjo posted another piece of art with Xavier in it and I went absolutely FERAL once more. So not only did I write a Xavier pegging fic again...I edited it. Y'all I put effort into my writing which never freaking happens. Them images be doing something to me and I need to write it.
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♡(ᓀ‸ᓂ)♡ Pairings: Xavier x Reader ♡(ᓀ‸ᓂ)♡ Warnings: Blow jobs, hand jobs, men crying, submissive Xavier, pegging, cum eating ♡(ᓀ‸ᓂ)♡ Synopsis: Xavier has once again managed to almost burn down the kitchen, leading the two of you to be covered in ash. A small suggestion to shower together leads to a little bit more...but really who's surprised by this turn of events? ♡(ᓀ‸ᓂ)♡ Word Count: 8k
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Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.
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Blog Information | Masterlist
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Xavier
Bunny Tears
You looked over at Xavier from behind the couch, your entire body a little tense. He had insisted he was going to cook, something that made you nervous and on edge. The man had gotten a little bit better after your mission when he was masquerading as the perfect house husband, but you were still weary about it; your eyes never left his figure as he hummed. It was only when he opened the oven that you felt your stomach drop.
“Xavier?” your voice was hesitant as you looked over at him. The man turned, his fluffy hair catching the sunlight and creating a halo effect around him. For a moment he seemed like a true angel…which at times he was. In this exact moment though he was closer to a devil who was about to lay ruin to his own domain.
“Yes?” he seemed so calm, so gentle as he looked over at you. Those pretty blue eyes shining in the light and you almost felt bad for not trusting him with the simple appliance.
“How about I go ahead and do that part,” you were already standing up when his voice stopped you.
“Don’t worry, I made sure to read the instruction manual on this oven. I have it all covered, you just sit back and relax,” he assured you, but his words refused to calm your nerves, “Dinner will be ready soon.” he promised.
You reluctantly sat back down, but your eyes never left his figure. He went back to humming some tune you didn’t know, placing the tray inside the oven and closing it up before hitting a few buttons. From your angle you couldn’t see what was on the tray, nor the buttons he selected. You could only hope things went smoothly.
It took about ten minutes before your fears were realized. You shouldn’t have been surprised to see it, but honestly it was like fireworks. Whatever was inside of the oven literally exploded and made a loud bang noise that shook the room; you just stared at it with wide eyes and a slack jaw. Xavier, who had been watching this monstrosity cook, was also staring at it. He seemed more confused if anything and after you both watched it you realized somebody had to kick it into gear.
You vaulted off the back of the couch and began rushing into the kitchen like your life depended on it. There were already flames and you had no idea how this was even possible in only ten minutes. You grabbed the fire extinguisher from underneath the sink and managed to snuff out the fire in record time, then quickly went over to shut the damn thing off before anything else could happen. You were panting as you stared at the now burnt oven, then back at Xavier who had opted to just watch the entire thing with wide eyes. 
After a moment of silence you finally managed to get out, “Xavier…what the fuck?” you looked between him and the ashes. Xavier finally seemed to snap out of whatever trance he was in, walking over to you and the oven. He placed a hand over your waist, probably about to apologize and make everything alright when the next series of unfortunate events happened. 
The food that Xavier had managed to cook had become char in the oven, but nothing could’ve prepared you for the center of the lump to explode and propell said ashes all over the surrounding areas. The explosion also managed to ricochet the powder from the fire extinguisher that had been coating it, making a beautiful plume of every chemical that shouldn't be in your lungs. 
It had you coughing and hacking, “The window! Get the window!” You called out to Xavier, not even  capable of seeing through all the smoke. Xavier’s frantic footsteps could be heard as he dashed towards the nearest window in the kitchen, the latch clicked open as it was unlocked and thrown open in a flurry.
“Come on,” Xavier’s voice had the nerve to sound worried as he wrapped strong arms around you, lifting you up and carrying you out of the main area of the explosion where particles still lingered. Once safely in the living room, you hacked and coughed some of the smoke out of your lungs then looked over at Xavier. You were opening your mouth to begin a long and drawn out lecture, but he managed to beat you to it.
“I’m sorry…” He said, his voice a gentle lull that made all your anger about the situation dissipated. You let out a small sigh then took in his appearance. His pristine skin now had smatterings of ash all over it and you couldn’t help but laugh. He looked like he had just come back from a battle against some wanderers with how the dark soots clung to his hair and face and slowly fell to the ground whenever he moved.
“Xavie…” You said with amusement in your voice, “You got a little…” you pointed over at his nose where some of the ash was smudged. He looked at you with a similar look in his eyes.
“I’m not the only one,” He pointed out, reaching over and swiping his thumb over your cheek, “We’re both messes right now,” he sighed, leaning in to press his forehead against yours. His hands now on your waist as he looked into your eyes with a lovestruck expression.
“Oh I wonder whose fault that is,” you teased, shaking your head, “We need a shower and a change of clothes. We can order some food afterwards,” it was a suggestion that you were certain Xavier would be all for. It would also give you two an opportunity to clean up the mess in the kitchen while you waited for dinner…it wasn’t something you looked forward to as your eyes glanced behind Xavier to see that there was still stuff floating about in the kitchen.
“That sounds nice…should we open some more windows?” Xavier asked after he followed your gaze. Everything was destroyed and you were certain there might’ve even been some neighbors in the hallway staring at the door with all the commotion this had caused. The only difference this time was the fire alarms weren’t blaring to alert everyone in the complex that this man hadn’t a single clue about how to cook.
Honestly you were damn happy you managed to uninstall his fire alarms. Was it a violation to the apartment contract? Without a doubt, yes. Did you care? No. You would actually cry if you had to hear those alarms going off anytime the man thought he could cook, a sentiment you were sure was shared amongst everyone living nearby.
“Ya, let’s open every available window for now,” you said, “Then it’s shower time,” you were already heading towards the living room to get to work. It only took a few minutes to get everything open, and Xavier even went so far as to open the ones in his bedroom as well, just in case. The gentle breeze that blew into the apartment was already making it easier to breathe in.
Once all was said and done, Xavier had come back up to you, “If you’d like, you can shower first,”. You couldn’t help yourself, he was just too sweet and adorable when he gave you those eyes and put your needs before his. Your hands cupped his cheeks and you dragged him down for a quick kiss. He let out a confused noise from the back of his throat, but ended up leaning into you like he always did. His body melted into you everytime your lips touched and right now was no different; his hands gently placed on your hip, his lips gently grazing your own.
When you parted you looked up at him, “How about we shower together today?” showering was something you two didn’t partake in too often as the shower wasn’t huge, but in moments like these it made sense. You both desperately needed to clean up. 
Xavier’s grip on your hips tightened in response as he then leaned down quickly for another soft press of your lips and smiled, “I like the sound of that,” he took your hand into his own, his thumb grazing against your knuckles. It was tender as he brought your hand to his lips and kissed your knuckles before giving it a proper hold. 
He began leading you through the apartment, gently tugging you along and squeezing your hand until you arrived in his restroom. It was just big enough for the two of you to comfortably be inside at the same time. The room looked like a perfect combination of the two of you, a few of your personal belongings scattered about. Xavier had insisted you kept things over here despite how you lived right below him. You assumed he liked having pieces of you in his life, and you could relate.
The moment you began undressing you realized that your current attire was absolutely ruined, no amount of washing would fix that. As you began working your pants off your eyes trailed over to your boyfriend. Your timing couldn’t have been more perfect as you watched him take off his hoodie in one swift motion, revealing the expanse of his muscular chest. You had to pause for a second, taking in the sight. You didn’t know how someone could be sculpted so perfectly, but here Xavier stood, like a greek statue come to life. Except…
Your eyes turned down to him unzipping his pants…ya that certainly wasn’t like any of the statues you had seen. He had stopped in his motions and your eyes went back up to see him looking directly at you. One of his eyebrows rose as he noticed how your eyes were practically glued to him. You were completely unashamed of your actions and when you noticed his eyes quickly flickering over your form you smirked.
“Why’d you stop, I was enjoying myself,” You teased him, slowly making your way to the shower. You turned it on and sat at the edge, leaning on the wall as your gaze went back to him, “Go on,” you encouraged. Now you were making a show of how you looked at him, even going so far as to  lick your lips. You could see the way his body shuddered under your gaze and it was already starting to set the mood for something else.
Xavier looked at you one more time before his hands went back to his half open pants. He slowly worked them open and hooked his fingers into the edge in a seductive fashion, eyes quickly flicking to yours to make sure you were watching. You watched the shuddered breath he took in as he worked his pants and briefs off, for a second the briefs got caught on the half hard bulge. You fought back the urge to tease him, knowing just how his body reacted when around you. This shower was probably going to last a little bit longer than expected, but you certainly didn’t mind.
Once he was fully undressed he approached you, taking your hand once more as he led you into the shower. Like the gentleman he was, he made sure you were directly under the showerhead. His hands went into your hair, massaging your scalp as he worked out some of the ashes. The water poured over your face as you closed your eyes, feeling his hands rubbing off the dirt and debris for you. You briefly felt his lips ghosting over your own, but when you opened he was just looking at you with that innocent smile as though he didn’t do anything.
“Xavier…” you murmured, wanting to drag him back down for a proper kiss, but he needed to be cleaned up first. With your hands on his shoulders you were able to spin the two of you around, the motion fluid with the amount of times you had done this. He didn’t fight you on it, instead sighing as he got under the running water. He turned towards it, letting it splash onto his face and hair as he washed himself, leaving you to watch him.
The way the water trickled down his back teasingly, his back muscles moving with every motion…it was so tantalizing. He managed to be sexy without even trying and you knew for a fact you didn’t want to hold back for even a second longer. As soon as you were certain he was cleaned up, you took a step forward, wrapping your arms around his front and pressing your face between his shoulder blades. 
Your lips gently grazed his shoulder blades as your arms held him tighter to your body. A shiver went down his spine as he craned his neck around to look at you. “Did you need something?” he asked, his voice as sweet and gentle as it always was. 
You let out a satisfied hum at his question, you pressed another sweet kiss into his shoulder before speaking up, “You’re so pretty, Xayxay,” you muttered contently against him. Your grip loosened a bit as you nuzzled your face into him..
Xavier understood what you wanted, turning around in your arms. You wasted no time, leaning up and pressing your lips against his own. Once more he began melting against your mouth as he sighed as though your lips were the only thing he needed in life. Xavier let out a small gasp once he felt your tongue prodding at his lower lip and he easily opened up, allowing your tongue to explore his mouth. Xavier always tasted sweet to you, something so uniquely him as your mouth explored his own.
Xavier’s groan echoed along the shower walls, sending a pleasant shiver down your spine. Your bodies were pressed together as one of your hands grasped his hair, keeping him right where you wanted him. The loud smacking of lips reverberated in the small room as you drank in the man before you, enjoying every brush of his tongue against your own as your thighs pressed together.
You felt his cock twitching against your stomach and you smirked against Xavier’s mouth. Your free hand running down his chest until you were tracing the lines of his Adonis belt teasingly. You parted for only a second and looked up at him through your eyelashes.
“Getting excited?” you asked with a smirk, your hand now trailing even lower until you were cupping his dick. He let out a small groan, his hips rolling up into your hand in response. You grasped his dick, giving a few experimental tugs on him, watching as his mouth dropped open and he stared down at you, “I wanna hear you, sweetheart, want you to tell me exactly what you want,”
“O-okay,” he managed to moan, “Please keep…” your pace got a little bit faster at the sound of his pleading. The smallest whimper escaping him, his voice got caught in his throat as the only thing he was focused on was your hand pumping his cock with the perfect pressure that had his mind reeling.
“Keep what?” You cooed, loving how responsive this man always was. His breathing began mixing with the loud noises of your hand expertly working his cock. Your thumb swiping some of the leaking pre cum that was threatening to drop onto the shower floor, “Come on, I wanna hear you,” you teased, placing a small nip to his jawline..
He leaned closer to you, his hands grasping your hips as he rolled his own up into your waiting hand, “Keep…touching me,” his voice sounded breathless and you could feel how he twitched in your hand. To think  he would be this quick to cum just from a simple hand job. You absolutely adored this side of Xavier, when he completely gave in to you and became such a good and submissive boy. This side of him was reserved only for you which is exactly why you enjoyed drawing it out of him.
“Alright, pretty boy,” you cooed, your hand now speeding up. Your only goal at the moment was to get him to cum, and with how his hips were jerking he was seconds away. His head bent down into your shoulder as he let out a small whine. The pelting of the water against his back was the only thing grounding him at the moment as he finally gave in to the pleasure.
You looked between your bodies and watched as ropes of cum erupted from the head of his cock. The thick fluid coated your hands and splashed between your bodies, some of it getting right onto your stomach and dripping down between your legs. Xavier seemed to have noticed this too, another lewd moan coming from the back of his throat as he rolled his hips a few more times into your waiting hand, letting his spend wash over the both of you.
You let him relax against you for a moment, your fingers playing with some of his cum that was now coating your palm and fingers. A thought crossed your mind and after Xavier’s breathing started to even out, you used your shoulder to gently nudge him off you. He stood back up, looking down at you with a gentle flush coating his cheeks that seemed to darken as you brought your hand up to his mouth.
“Want a taste, bunny?” You asked, the cum slightly smearing on the corner of his lips as you swiped your thumb over his mouth. You watched how his eyes widened a fraction as what you were asking. He looked at you for a minute more, weighing his options as he felt your finger pressing a little harder on his bottom lip, a silent command to open.
He complied, opening his mouth, his tongue darting out and licking his essence off your palm. He groaned at the taste, and you smirked as he lapped up his own release. HIs pink tongue licking between your fingers as he worked on making sure it was completely clean. When most of it was gone you pressed two fingers onto his tongue, pressing down as his jaw opened for you to look in his mouth. You could see a little bit of the white on the tip and you glanced back into his eyes.
“What a good boy, now make sure to swallow it,” you said and watched as he closed his mouth around your fingers, giving them a gentle suck as he swallowed his own load. You took your fingers out of his mouth and reached behind him, turning off the shower and looking up at him.
“What a good boy…” you murmured, your hand on his shoulder as you coaxed him to follow your lead, leaning down and kissing him again. Xavier groaned against your mouth as you pressed your tongue back into his, able to faintly taste his release. His grip on your hips tightening for a second as you parted as though he didn’t want you to go. He looked so damn handsome like this and you swore you were falling in love all over again.
“We should…” he trailed off and you knew exactly what he was implying. Without the running water it was starting to get chilly. As much as you watched to watch his nipples pebbling up from the chill, you did want to get warmed up.
“Alright, come on,” you said, pressing a quick kiss to the corner of his lips before taking his hands off your hips. You took his larger hand into your own, dragging him out of the shower. He was smiling at you, allowing you to pull him in any direction you wanted. You took a towel and wrapped it around his waist, forcing him forward and into your body once more, “How about after we dry off a little…” you began suggesting.
You didn’t even finish your train of thought as Xavier nodded, “Yes please,” he quickly said, not even an ounce of shame with how desperate he was for you. You chuckled as you wrapped the fluffy towel around his waist and grabbed your own. The two of you fell into a rhyme together, practically dancing around one another as you worked on getting yourselves dried off.
Once you were somewhat dry you two left the towels abandoned on the floor. Hand in hand as you made your way into the bedroom, bumping into one another like excited teens doing something naughty. The way Xavier kept gazing down at you like you were the one who hung every star in the sky.
The moment you came to the bedroom you were gently pushing him down onto the mattress, your hand on his chest. He didn’t fight it, allowing you to crawl on top of him, your lips meeting again and Xavier’s hands threaded through your hair, gently playing with it as he kept you against him. If there was one thing Xavier loved, it was kissing you. It was like oxygen as your lips perfectly melded together every single time, sending a tingling sensation to the back of his head and making him shiver. He could never get enough of you as you gently bit down on his lower lip, requesting access once more.
You parted your lips from him, opting to look down at the man as your hair dripped onto his body, “Xavier,” you began breathlessly, catching his attention, “I still wanna play a little bit,” you murmured, catching his attention at the way you said it. You had the smallest pout on your lips, although he could tell with how your eyes were gleaming that something sinister was brewing in your mind.
Still, he was a weak man, and if you said jump he’d ask how high and to where. “Alright, if that’s what you want,” he said, his voice wavering only slightly. He had hoped you would just ride him, or maybe let him flip you over, but if you wanted to play with his body then he’d allow you. As long as you didn’t tease him too much he let you do whatever you wanted.
“Thanks babe,” you leaned back up to kiss him quickly before your lips began pressing along his body. You could hear his breath hitch as your lips trailed down his neck and to his chest. Your tongue lapping at one of his hardened nipples before latching on. His back arched into you just from the simple.
“W-wait,” he moaned out, feeling how your tongue swirled around the hardening bud. You let out a hum, looking up at him while your other hand went to play with his other nipple. You waited for him to continue but instead he ground his hips up into you. At this angle his cock was rutting against your stomach and you could feel how hard he had gotten since the shower. You felt the slightest wet sensation from the top of his cock leaking.
Perhaps at some point you’d see if it was possible to get him to cum with just stimulation to his nipples, but you wanted him to cum in your mouth at the moment. When you had kissed him earlier, tongue pressing against his own, you could faintly taste him. It had you craving more, like it always did. It was bitter, salty, but it tasted like him and that was all your mind really wanted. You wanted Xavier in every way possible, all at once.
You popped off his nipple, licking your already wet lips, “Xavier, you told me to wait,” you pressed a kiss between his pecs, “Now what am I waiting for?” your mouth was moving over to his other cute nipple. It was pink and pebbled perfect as your breath ghosted over it, sending a shiver down Xavier’s spine.
Xavier opened his mouth and was about to say something when he seemed to pause. His eyebrows furrowed as he clearly tried to think about why he wanted you to wait. You felt so good kissing him, licking his nipples, it was making him hard and needy. He swallowed the lump in his throat as you spoke up, “Can’t remember? Want me to continue then?” teasingly your tongue poked out your mouth and licked his pearled up bud.
This elicited a small gasp from him, his hand reaching up to run through your hair, pushing away some so it wouldn’t get in the way, “Yes please,” he said and your mouth latched onto him, giving this side the same treatment. Your tongue swirling around his hardened peak, making him groan as he pressed his chest closer to your mouth. Your fingers played with the other side, giving it a harsh pinch so you could see him mewl.
His hips were rutting shamelessly against your stomach, twitching as he tried to get some much needed stimulation. You smirked, biting around his nipple and god that had him moaning like a damn whore, his grip on your hair tightening as you popped off his nipple. You looked at your work, seeing his pink nipples now turned a red tone. Your teeth marks were perfectly around one of them and his blush now spread from his cheeks down to his chest so perfectly it made you want to eat him right up.
“Such a pretty boy,” your words made him whimper, watching as you began kissing a trail down his chest to his abs. Your tongue lapped at some of the water droplets that still clung to his skin as you gazed up at him. He was watching you with such an intense gaze as you made your way down to his hips.
You bit down on his Adonis belt, making Xavier’s hips buck up into you. You felt his erection between your chest now, leaking all over you from how hot and bothered you managed to make him. You chuckled as you licked at the small red bite mark you had left on him. Xavier looked down at you, his eyebrows furrowed at your teasing.
“Something to say?” you said, your hands now rubbing at his thighs as you coaxed him to spread them. The pink dusting on his cheeks didn’t seem like it would be going anywhere soon, in fact it seemed to make him a shade darker as he looked away from you for a moment. Despite his embarrassed state, you watched as he opened his legs to make room for you to nestle between them. Your cheek rested on his inner thigh as your other hand gently played with the other.
“N-no…” he said, looking at you between his thighs. You looked at him lovingly, smiling as you kissed his thigh and adjusted yourself. Your hand wrapping around his cock as you gave a few gentle tugs, feeling how he twitched in your hands. He let out a small whimper at your hand wrapping around him again, his eyes half lidded as he stared down at you. You could see his mouth open slightly, panting and you shivered at the sight. He was so sensitive and it never ceased to turn you on.
You teased him one last time, biting down on his inner thigh hard and watched as his cock jumped in your hands. A thick bead of pre cum dripping down the shaft and right into your hand as you casually pumped his cock. Xavier let out a whimpering moan at the rough treatment and you only wished he didn’t heal so damn fast the marks you left would be seen for at least a week after this. It was fine, you’d just have to refresh them daily since they went away seemingly overnight.
Finally you took his cock into your mouth, giving the tip a harsh suck. Xavier’s hips rolled into your mouth out of instinct, making you smirk and pop off him, “Xavie baby,” you cooed, watching his hazy eyes staring down at you as he tried listening, “Be still for me, okay sweetheart?” you began, “Think you can do that for me?”
Xavier let out a groan and nodded, but when he noticed you weren’t back on his dick he realized what you wanted, “I-I promise,” he swore, his tone breathy and debauched already. You watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed the saliva pooling in his mouth. You briefly wondered if you could make him drool today by fucking him. Well, there was only one way to find out…
You wasted no time, your mouth moving on Xavier as you began sucking his cock like it was the last thing you’d ever taste. The change was immediate as you began working in earnest, and Xavier clearly wasn’t prepared for you to be sucking him like this right out the gate.  The high pitched keen that left him was telling, as well as the steady dribble of his pre that was coating the back of your tongue. You groaned at the taste of him, working to relax your throat so you could take all of him. 
Xavier certainly wasn’t small, the girth of his cock was punishing if you weren’t prepared to take it, but thankfully his length was only a little above average. It made it a little easier for you to deepthroat him, but even then you gagged around his length a little as it hit the back of your throat. Xavier gasped at the sound you made, looking down with a flush as his hand went back into your hair, dragging you off his cock and watching the trail of saliva connecting your lips to the tip.
“Y-you don’t have to…” he swallowed, “Take it too deep…it feels good no matter what,” he said, his eyes concerned despite how turned on he was. You moved to kiss his cock, making him close his eyes and breath deeply, trying to steady himself from how good you were making him feel right now.
Finally you deigned to speak up, “Do you not like me gagging on your cock, Xavier?” the lewd words making him groan, “Because I love taking you deep, babes, seeing your eyes rolling back from the pleasure. Want you to get lost in it,” you rambled on, licking up his length. A small whine escaped him as his grip on your hair loosened enough for you to move freely, “Let me make you feel good, bunny, I promise I won’t push myself. Is that okay?” you licked the dribble from his tip again.
Xavier licked his lips and nodded, “If you’re sure…” he said and it was the green light you were waiting for. Your lips wrapping back around him as you sank down as deep as you could go, feeling his cock once again hitting the back of your throat and you hummed in delight.
Xavier hadn’t expected you to sink down like that the moment he said it was okay. His head was thrown back onto the pillow as he let out the loudest moan of the night. His sounds were music to your ears, so beautiful every single time he let a noise escape those pretty lips of his.
His  head was now spinning from how good you were making him feel and it was a struggle for him not to roll his hips into your mouth. His throbbing cock was heavy on your tongue as you worked on swirling it around his shaft. With how thick he was it wasn’t easy, his dick taking up all the room in your mouth and it caused a gentle ache in your jaw.
His breathing was becoming labored and he could feel himself getting close embarrassingly at an alarmingly fast rate. Perhaps it was due to him still being sensitive from you jerking him off in the shower, but the moans coming out of him were so loud and his cock was now twitching against your tongue. His body trembled as he worked on holding himself back and it was so adorable seeing him place his hand in his mouth, biting down on it to keep his noise level down.
What wouldn’t fit in your mouth was now being stroked with your hand, your other one cupping his balls and you could feel how they tightened in your grasp, “W-wait I’m…” Xavier managed to get out, wanting to warn you, maybe even stop you from continuing. He probably wanted to be inside of you before he came, but at present you had no intention on letting him fuck you for this evening.
You could feel his cock twitch once more before you could taste the bitterness of his cum as he shot out and onto your tongue. You worked on angling his cock so his load wouldn’t shoot right down your throat. You wanted to taste him as you worked him through a second orgasm for the night. You hummed around his length, closing your eyes and enjoying the moment as his grip on your hair was so tight. The burn of it only made you feel hot and bothered as you rolled your hips into the mattress below.
Xavier was so sensitive at the moment as he started to come down from his high. He flinched at feeling how you had kept him in your mouth, your tongue laving at the lip as you swallowed his load. He could feel your throat constricting with the motion and he recoiled. You smirked at the reaction he had, knowing it was probably a little painful after just coming for the second time that night. You had every intention of ruining this man though, so instead of letting him have a moment to breathe you were popping your lips off his cock and replacing it with your hand.
You spit on your other hand, placing your wet fingers against his entrance. Some of the spit from your sloppy blowjob had already dripped down to his ass, making it easier to push a finger into his hole. You watched Xavier’s eyes shoot open, widening almost comically as he let out a whorish moan. He looked down as you began fucking him with your finger, your mouth going back to wrap around the head of his dick.
“S-stop it’s-mhm fuck,” he gasped out as your fingers found his prostate the moment you were pressed into him. You had done this so many times it was second nature to you. You felt how his cock was twitching again in your mouth. It hadn’t even had a moment to soften as your tongue worked on the length. Xavier looked completely out of it, staring down at you with a frantic look in those hazy blue eyes.
Xavier was panting, trying to shy away from your touches but it was no use. He let out another whine and rolled his hips up, making you gag for a second on his length and you looked up at him in amusement. He looked so fucked out and he had only cum twice so far. He was honestly too adorable as you continued to finger him, a second finger now pressing inside as you scissored him. You worked his entrance open all the while listening to his symphony and whimpers and whines.
He was squirming under your ministrations, the hand that wasn’t in your hair was thrown back into his mouth as he bit down harshly in a failed attempt at muffling those cute noises. The noises he made were sure to get you guys a few noise complaints come tomorrow morning, but as it stood you were drinking them all in as you didn’t let up. His cock throbbed in your mouth, pulsing against your tongue and you finally took your mouth off his cock. You licked your lips, his taste lingering in your mouth and you ground your hips once more into the mattress to help alleviate the growing arousal in you. You wanted to focus on Xavier though, you could deal with your own needs at another time.
Xavier’s ass clenched around your fingers perfectly and you almost felt bad when you took them out. Xavier looked down at you confused as to why you stopped. While his body was sensitive he was starting to get so close to coming again.
“W-why’d you…” he trailed off, his lips forming a cute pout and you chuckled at the sight. Fuck he was too adorable and he didn’t even realize it half the time. How was this man a dangerous hunter yet easily fell apart into a whimpering mess the moment you toyed with his body?
“Give me a minute, okay?” you assured him with a gentle squeeze to his thighs. You stood up from the bed and walked over to the drawer in the nightstand, quickly finding your harness alongside the lube. It was a pretty little thing, a sleek baby blue strap that was long and tapered. It wasn’t particularly girthy, but the end of it did have an upward turn for finding the prostate. It was the perfect toy for Xavier. He didn’t much care for having something huge in him, but he was always readily accepting of something that would graze that tender spot inside every thrust.
Xavier has wrongfully assumed he had a moment of peace as he laid back on the mattress, his cock hard but sensitive. That illusion was destroyed the moment he looked over to see the strap in your hand. His breath got caught in his throat as he saw you holding the harness and lube, looking at him with intrigue. His cock betrayed him, twitching at the sight of you and it didn’t go unnoticed if the growing smirk on your face was telling.
You watched as your sweet boy squirmed on the bed, attempting to sit up so he could have at least a little dignity. Just by clicking your tongue he paused, looking over at you, “Xavier, calm down baby boy,” you cooed, “I’ll give you what you want in just a second, let me just put this on real fast,”
He stopped moving for a moment, opting to sink back onto the pillows underneath him. He watched as you put on the harness, working the straps of it over your thighs and hips as you secured it into place. He licked his lips as you tightened it, watching how it clung to you so perfectly. You gently got on the bed, the mattress having enough give to shift Xavier on it as he looked at you with so much want in his eyes.
You crawled over until you were between Xavier’s legs and tapped them then smiled as you saw Xavier eagerly opening his legs so you’d have better access. His cock laid heavy between them, dripping onto the mattress as your hand took it, pumping it twice before laying it on his stomach.. The popping noise of the lube cap opening sounded so loud in the room as you poured some over your hand; Xavier watched as you smeared some of the viscous liquid onto the artificial cock.. Those same fingers that were making him fall apart minutes ago now pressed against his entrance.
“Is this okay?” You murmured, pressing a finger inside of him. It was an easy glide and soon the second joined it as you scissored him. You were careful not to press against his prostate again, your only goal was to get lube inside of him so the cock would be comfortably nestled in his warmth.
He let out a loud moan, feeling how you began working him open some more. He nodded in reply, his jaw open in pleasure and you stopped your movements and looked at him, “Use your words,” you instructed, “You know how much I love hearing your voice,”
Xavier swallowed thickly before nodding, “Y-yes, it’s okay…” he trailed off once he felt your fingers moving inside of him. It didn’t take much with your previous ministrations and you took your fingers out, stroking your strap as Xavier’s eyes flew down to you, trying to relax in anticipation of being fucked.
You pressed the head of the strap against his hole, teasing him as you put just a little bit of pressure and allowing the tip inside. Xavier looked up at you with pleading eyes; they looked almost wet with unshed tears and you couldn’t help but smirk at how docile he appeared to be in the moment. He claimed he wasn’t some sweet and innocent bunny, but it took barely any coaxing to get him to this point of being needy. Sure sometimes he was capable of flipping you over the couch and fucking you dumb, but he was just as willing to be on his back like this.
“Please don’t tease me,” he managed to mutter, his cute flush crossing his cheeks as he stared up at you. He looked so fucked out already and you hadn’t even put it in yet. You felt your entire body getting a bit warmer, licking your lips as you decided to give him what he wanted.
“Of course, my love, you know I’ll give you anything when you ask me like that,” The toy easily began sliding into his waiting hole, his entire body lax under your touch as you bottomed out in him. You heard him letting out a keening whine as you adjusted, the tip of it no doubt grazing his prostate as you intended You wrapped your hand around his cock, pumping it again and without warning you began thrusting hard.
Xavier’s legs were quick to wrap around your waist at the feeling , locking his ankles around your back as he let out a loud and needy moan. Small curses escaping his mouth at feeling how fast you began fucking him, how your slick hand wrapped around his cock and worked him at the same pace as the strap.
It only came as a small surprise when you watched his cock twitch before splatters of cum painted his abs and your hand. It had happened so fast that you don’t even think Xavier was able to comprehend that he came immediately, the sensations being too much in such a short timespan that he let out a broken whimper as you worked him through it.
“Fuck…” you moaned out, seeing how easily he came, his cock still twitching as you didn’t let up your pace. Xavier’s arms were clutching at the pillows near his head, his back arched off the mattress as you continued fucking him at a fast pace. He felt like he was going to break as tears slid down his cheeks at the near painful feeling of your hand jerking him off.
Your hips worked against Xavier, thrusting into him at a brutal pace as the room filled with the slapping noises and Xavier’s small sobs. You wanted to see him become a complete and utter mess and you were so damn close to it. Xavier made the realization at what you were after after he started to come down from his high. His body felt like a livewire, already coming three times within maybe half an hour.
His entire body jostled with every thrust and he was absolutely whining now, babbling about it being too much as the strap hit his prostate with every thrust. His head was thrown back as he tried squirming away, his hands still grasping the sheets underneath him like a life line as the material scrunched up and almost tore from the grip. He couldn’t stop the pathetic whimpering noises that flew out of his mouth, every thrust punching the air right out of his lungs.
“Ah-ah-hah p-please mhn-hah…” hearing him moaning your name like it was the gospel as his cock leaked, his own cum being smeared over his stomach as you pressed his dick onto it. You used his own stomach and your hand to create more friction as you worked him perfectly to the same tune of your thrusts.
His mind instantly went to mush at the sensation, short circuiting as the only thing his brain could focus on was the pleasure coursing through him. He didn’t even think he had anything left to give as tears streaming out, his mouth opened as he let out sobs that he couldn’t contain. You could feel his cock twitching and his body responded like you’d come to expect when he came, but instead of cum leaking from the tip there was only a drizzle of clear fluid as he had a mostly dry orgasm.
He couldn’t even speak at this point, his entire mind clouded and as much as you wanted to keep fucking him, you knew he was spent. He was panting and crying and damn he couldn’t even cum anymore at this point. You let go of his poor cock, watching as it dropped onto his stomach as you let out gentle coos, your hands rubbing his hips gently as you tried getting him to come back to you.
Still you couldn’t help but tease him a little more, those blue eyes seemed a little far off but they were still staring at you helplessly. You slowly took the strap out, watching as he let out a whine or protest that he probably didn’t even realize came out of his mouth. You smirked, rubbing his thighs now, “Good job, Xavier, did such a good job,” you said as you adjusted yourself. You leaned in, your tongue now licking a strip up his abs and collecting his fluid. Xavier shifted, letting out a few cute noises at the slight tickling feeling which turned into a sharp gasp. 
Your mouth wrapped around the tip of his cock, giving it a harsh suck as you cleaned it up. You didn’t remain there for long, popping off after a second. You just wanted to see him twitch from the sensitivity not actually work him towards another orgasm. With Xavier being somewhat clean you worked the harness off your body and tossed it to the ground of the room. It could be cleaned later, but for now your beautiful bunny needed you.
His legs had long since fallen from around your waist as you grabbed at his upper thighs, moving his body with you as you laid him on his side. You leaned up and gave him a quick kiss that he couldn’t even respond properly to. Instead of trying to get him to talk. You began pressing kisses on his forehead and cheeks, “Such a good boy for me, Xavie,” you murmured against him, smiling at how cute he looked. It took a couple of minutes before he seemed ready to respond, his eyes now tired and red.
“You good, Xavier?” you murmured as you adjusted him so he was securely wrapped up with you. His arms were around your waist and he dragged you closer to his chest, nuzzling his face into your shoulder.
“Ya…” he muttered out, making you smirk. He seemed to finally be coming back to his senses which meant he was going to be extra cuddly, probably not letting you go for the entire night.
“Alright good…you know I still need to clean you up,” you pointed out and Xavier’s grip on you tightened, holding you like a stuffed animal. It seemed like your observation was right, you were going to be trapped here. You let out a small sigh as you readily accepted your fate, your hands wrapping around him and relaxing into his body. He didn’t even get a chance to say anything else as his body fell into a gentle sleep, completely spent from the activities.
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I would like to apologize if there's any typos in here. I really wanted to get this out before work but there's literally almost 8k words here and there's no way I'd be able to finish rereading the entire thing.
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magdelanesingerin · 1 year ago
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Little Socks
Read on AO3
Jaskier could not get warm.
He was pretty sure he was fighting off a bug; there was always something circulating amongst the students he taught, and it was a miracle if he ever got through a winter without catching something wretched that would lay him out for a week. It was frustrating timing, though, since they both finally had a stretch of days off together for the holidays, and Jaskier had been looking forward to spending the two weeks’ break between semesters with his boyfriend, not laying in bed sniffling. 
At any rate, he was currently wearing long flannel PJ pants and one of Geralt’s old t-shirts, curled up in their bed in a cozy, two-layer blanket burrito which he had pulled up around his ears, and he was still cold. He could hear Geralt puttering around, coming quietly in and out of the bedroom where Jaskier was napping their snowy Saturday afternoon away. 
He wished that Geralt would come lay down and nap with him (he’d love having that big warm body to cuddle up to and steal all his warmth), but he knew getting the man to laze around was a lost cause, even on vacation. It was nearly impossible to bring his boyfriend to rest; Geralt was like a damn shark that had to be in motion at all times, cleaning, and doing chores, and working on projects around the house. Jaskier, who was an expert in relaxing, found the whole thing baffling. 
Of course, if Geralt ever did sit down to do anything less active than playing a video game, he tended to fall asleep in minutes like the cranky old man he was at heart, head konked back against whatever chair he’d sat down in and snoring like a lumberjack. It was endearing.
Jaskier slitted his eyes open against the pale, wintry afternoon light just enough to see Geralt emerging from the closet with a laundry basket, and called out to him.
“Geraaaalt,” he whined sleepily into the blankets tucked around his face, and Geralt turned back from the doorway to peer down at him. “I’m cold.”
“D’you want another blanket?” Geralt asked like the wonderful, thoughtful boyfriend he was. 
“No, that’ll make me too hot,” Jaskier groaned, sounding pitiful even to his own ears. He shoved his bare foot out the bottom of the blankets and waggled it in the chilly air. “Can you put some little socks on me?”
He could hear Geralt breathe a laugh at him, but he put the laundry basket down on the other side of the bed and headed to the dresser. Jaskier snuggled down further in his blankets as he listened to the dresser door slide open and closed, and sighed happily as Geralt caught his waving foot in his big warm hands and carefully pulled on one of the cheap, brightly-printed, thin cotton socks that Jaskier loved to wear around the house–- just thick enough to be a little warm, but not so fluffy they’d make him overheat. As soon as one foot was covered he pulled it back into the warmth of his blanket cocoon and stuck the other foot out in its place.
“You’re pretty cute, did you know that?” Geralt said fondly and squeezed newly sock-clad arch of Jaskier’s foot gently before he tucked it back under the blankets. 
“Yep, I know,” said Jaskier with a happy wiggle and a smirk, already starting to warm up and rubbing his sock-covered feet together contentedly. “Thanks babe, that’s already better.” Geralt laid his hand over Jaskier’s blanket-wrapped ankles. The gentle weight was more comforting than it had any right to be for such a small thing.
“Yell if you need anything,” Geralt rumbled quietly. “I think I’m going to go scrub the oven, so just text me if I don’t hear you.”
“Of course you are, what else would you be doing to relax on a Saturday afternoon? Freak.” Jaskier murmured lovingly, starting to drift off with a soft little smile. 
The low sound of Geralt’s chuckling faded down the hallway as Jaskier hummed and fell asleep.
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niphredil-14 · 2 years ago
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Homemade Pizza
(Jason Todd X Reader) This is a super self indulgent drabble because I have ARFID and love pizza but can’t eat it due to the sensory issues i have regarding slivers of tomato skin in the sauce.
Food related insecurities were always a struggle in the beginning of a relationship. The number of times they’d heard something along the lines of  ‘Wow! I pity any guy that wants to take you out on a date!’ while growing up, and the number of times it had rung true had really increased their anxiety and self-consciousness regarding the topic. It was a big part of their fear in the moment, commuting to Jason’s apartment while the sun had just begun to set. They knew he loved to cook, and though he had been very understanding when they had explained their eating disorder to him, they worried of when he would get tired of being compassionate, of when he would get tired of their differences, of when he would get tired of the burden of them. The fact that their eating routine was thrown off by the date hadn’t made them any less anxious either, and though they knew that it would’ve been alright for them to turn down the date, they didn’t want to. Jason was a busy man, and they didn’t want to miss out on an opportunity to spend time with him. So lost in their thoughts, time passed quickly, and the subway doors opened. His apartment was only a block or so from the subway, so it took little time to arrive at his doorstep. He answered their knocks almost immediately, swinging the door open and greeting them with a short kiss on the cheek, waving them in. The fear in their veins shot up when the smell of food wafted into their nostrils. Pizza, a food that they liked, but was never worth the suffering to eat. 
“Before you freak out.” He said. “I remembered what you told me about your ED, and how you really liked pepperoni pizza but couldn’t eat it because of the tomato skin, so I made the sauce myself and skinned all the tomatoes first, so that I could make sure there weren’t any skins in the sauce.” They turned to him stunned. Most people were somewhat sympathetic to their struggles, but that was the first time that anybody had actually gone out of their way for them. “But please don’t feel pressured to eat any of it! If we don’t then my family will be more than happy to reheat it later.” They turned their gaze away from him, and instead landed it on the table he had set. It was meant to mimic a vintage Italian restaurant. A red and white checkered tablecloth laid upon the semi-small circular rustic table he had moved to stand in front of his main window, with a candle lit in the center and a plate laid out on either end with napkins and wine glasses and the whole ensemble. The lights throughout his apartment had been dimmed, and soft Italian jazz was playing on a record player at the far end of the room. They could only imagine the look they had on their face, because of the concern written all across his when he called out to them softly. “Baby? Are you okay?” He questioned. “If this is too much, then I’ll put it all away and we can just watch some TV and cuddle instead.” That brought their attention back to him as a soft smile graced their face and they threw themselves into his arms. 
“No, please don’t put this all away. I love it, I was just surprised.” Leaning up and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, they hurried over to the table and took a seat. He followed suit, and the two sat and sipped on their wine as they talked. The peace as temporarily interrupted when the oven timer went off and Jason got up to get the pizza. In the short time that he was gone, the anxiety had started to creep back up on them They trusted him, and his cooking skills, but that didn’t erase the fear that their eating difficulties would act up and, in their mind, ruin the date. Some of the anxiety subsided when he walked in with the pizza; it looked absolutely delicious, their only worry then was that looks could be deceiving. The rest of their fear melted away with the first bite. A surprised yet pleased muffled moan leaving their lips as their eyes fell shut, utterly enjoying the slice. 
“‘s that good?” Jason teased. Covering their mouth with their hand as they chewed, they responded with,
“I’d fuckin’ die for you, Jason, this is amazing!” 
“Not if I die for you, first.” He chuckled, partially glad that they didn’t get the joke yet. The dinner went by without much talking after that, save for a few short sentences. Neither of them minded much, though, the background music was calming and beautiful, the view just as much so. When they had finished eating, Jason refused to accept any help cleaning up, insisting that they were his guest, and that Alfred had taught him better than that. There was much more conversation during the clean-up than there was during dinner, though the mood hardly changed. Still serene and romantic like it was at the beginning of dinner, and it stayed like that even when they moved to the couch, cuddling with the TV on quietly in the background. 
“Jay?” The spoke, quietly so as to not shatter the atmosphere. 
“Yeah, Doll?” 
“Thank you for tonight, I’m not sure I could explain just how much it meant to me.” Their jaw felt funny moving as it rested on his shoulder, but not unpleasant.
“It wasn’t a big deal, I’m glad you liked it.” They scoffed lightly and lifted their head up, looking into his eyes so that he could see their emotions, and everything they felt that went beyond words. 
“Maybe it wasn’t a big deal to you, but it was the world to me. All my life, it’s seemed like however bothersome my eating disorder was to me, it was more of a burden to the people around me. It’s always felt like I’ve been a burden because of it. I can’t tell you how many friendships and relationships it’s ruined. Even when people were nice about it, it was just them doing their best to ignore it.” They spoke, wrapping their arms around his thick neck, lightly playing with the short stubbled buzz at the nape of his neck. “But you not only acknowledged it, you went out of your way to do something kind for me, in a way that I could enjoy.” A smile made its way onto their face as their eyes shone with unspilled tears. “I really like you, but even if we don’t work out in the long-term, which to be honest, I really hope we do, this will always be a gesture and a night that I’ll hold close to my heart. So don’t pretend like you didn’t do anything important, please. Because you did, more than I think you’ll ever really know.” His hands moved to rest on their waist, as he spoke. 
“You’re not a burden, Sweetheart, not to me.” He said, firmly, despite how quiet his words were. Their smile widened as they shifted forward, slanting their lips against his. Their arms tightening around him as his tightened around them.
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eclecticopposition · 26 days ago
Note
😂😍 <- fic asks :]
let's fucking gooooooooooo
fic ask prompts
😂 a funny or crack WIP snippet
(oh we have been WAITING to post cook scene)
under the cut for length! a bonus scene from wire guy awaits
The oven thing works itself out. When Avier hears about it, he and the other cooks descend upon the Majority Rule eagerly. Phrygian finds him ordering two sous-chefs around, directing them to prepare sufficient pizzas for the lot of them. 
“Why are you the cook if you can't eat?” Phrygian asks, and then belatedly realizes that this might be rude. “I mean, no offense. Sorry.”
“Oh, the same reason I'm a doctor,” Avier says sagely. “I like to watch.”
“...Excuse me?”
“It's all so wet,” he says. “Biology, I mean. Digestion especially. Don't you think?”
Phrygian no longer likes this conversation very much.
“The Captain really is a genius,” Avier says, with a distant look in his eyes and a tone of clear admiration. Or something. “He understands the beauty of digestion. And him, him? He just does it. Leap, he doesn't mess around like most people. He's a man of action.”
“Does he know you think that?”
“He told me not to talk to him about it anymore,” Avier says, and sighs. “Just make the pancakes, he said. Just cook the eggs.”
“Okay.”
“People will just eat things that you give them if you learn how to cook,” Avier says, sounding very gratified by this. “And let you be a doctor.” 
“Because you learned to cook?” Phrygian asks, to clarify. They really hope that this is not what they mean.
“No, no, because I went into organic medicine,” Avier says. “I did two years of school.”
“Oh.”
“And I'm good as gold at stitches!”
“That's... great?”
Avier rattles, which they decide to take as agreement.
“Should I... be concerned?” Phrygian asks, to clarify. “Are you going to like... poison somebody just to see what happens?”
“No, no, of course not!” Avier waves his hand. “No no no no, no. Shortsighted. I live here. There's a trust factor. If I wanted to poison someone, I'd poison someone else.”
“...Okay.”
“Besides, poisoning isn't...” He sighs, shaking his head. “It's passé, don't you think? I'm a little bored of all that by now. Big moves like that are a young man's game. Me? I already shoot people for a living. I’m just here to cook.”
“That answer really is not very comforting,” Phrygian admits.
Avier clicks in displeasure. “People always say that! I never understand why!”
“Do they?”
“Yes! Is it supposed to be more comfortable to hear someone just say No, no, I would never? Anyone can tell lies! I, at least, would want to hear a reasonable case for why our interests align. You’d want to hear that even if I did want to poison somebody, I wouldn't.”
“I... could see that,” Phrygian concedes. “I can see the logic there.”
This ship is completely full of freaks.
😍 published lines or a section of a fic that you loved writing?
Six Sunday number three. It's funny as fuck. Shoutouts to Kalrin being a five star weirdo and having a normal relationship to the things they keep in their cupboards.
Highlights include:
There!  There he is, a few doors down. His candy red fur, his glossy dead eyes. His gaping, mocking smile. The light does not touch him directly. Even just the sight of his face in the dark sends a chill up your spine.  For a moment you waver. Some things not even you should trifle with. But – no, Ohnyxx needs you. Your house and life are on the line. You grab that fucker by the throat and you drag him out from behind the oversize plates. They came with the house. You never use them. You squeeze his throat and you put a finger to his open mouth to preempt his evil whispers. “DO NOT FUCK THIS UP FOR US,” you tell him. “I WILL PUT YOU BACK IN THERE. I AM NOT JOKING. YES, IT’S ME, I’M SURE YOU CAN TELL.” He stares past you and does not make a sound. “DO NOT FUCK THIS UP,” you repeat. “SERIOUSLY. I MAY KID ABOUT A GREAT MANY THINGS BUT I KID YOU NOT RIGHT NOW. I HAVE NO INTEREST IN YOUR TRICKS AND THE AMOUNT OF BULLFUCKERY I WILL TOLERATE COMES TO A GRAND TOTAL OF ZERO. THIS IS NOT A TRANSACTION AND YOU SHALL KEEP YOUR WRETCHED LITTLE MAW AS QUIET AS THE SHALLOW GRAVE I WOULD OTHERWISE PUT YOU IN, BECAUSE FAILING ALL ELSE, I WILL SEND YOU BACK INTO THE DEPTHS OF KITCHEN SOLITARY AND LEAVE YOU THERE, FOREVER UNABLE TO ROT. KAPICE?” He does not say anything. You choose to take this as compliance rather than him biding his time, on account of how yours is running out. 
and our favorite line in the fic
“I WILL FORGIVE YOU IF YOU PULL THIS OFF,” you lie. 
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bibiwrld · 1 year ago
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The Sweet Babysitter🧁🎀| Miguel O’Hara
previously: –two.
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–three.
MIGUEL’S POV
I sat on the edge of my bed mentally cursing myself, with my fingers pinching the bridge of my nose.
What was wrong with me? Gawking at that girl, practically drooling at the sight of her. Her beauty was undeniable. Her shyness was so cute. The way she looked in office attire, so adorable.
God, I’m a freak for even thinking of her. She’s young, she probably has a boyfriend her age anyways.
She called me Mr. O’Hara for fuck sake. She sees me as an old fart.
As soon as she left, there I was waiting for her to text me.
So pathetic.
Then I opened safari and started typing.
‘How soon can you start dating after a divorce?’
I began scrolling and a text came in.
Unknown number
Good night Miguel, it’s Kenedi🎀☺️
She even texts cute. I quickly saved her number and began typing back.
Me
Hi Kenedi, I hope you’re enjoying your evening. Don’t be afraid to ask me anything.
Kenedi🎀
Yes I am, I just finished my dinner.
Well I wanted to know if I could use the shower? Since I’m coming straight from work
Me
Ofc. Just think of my home as your second home😊
Was the emoji too much?
Kenedi🎀
Thank you☺️ I’m headed to bed now. Enjoy the rest of your evening <3
Is that a heart? Is this considered flirting?
Me
Goodnight <3
I leaned back on my bed. Was that okay to send back?
🕷️
It was the weekend, mid afternoon. The only time I don’t have to go to work.
“Papá!” Gabby ran and hugged my leg as I washed dishes.
“Yes Gabby?” I glanced down at her with a smile.
She looked up at me with those adorable eyes. “When is Kenedi coming?”
“Mija, I told you on Monday.” I sighed, putting the dishes in the dish rack.
She pouted. I hated seeing her so sad.
I dried my hands and went to grab my phone, Gabby still attached to my leg.
I sat down, pressing Kenedi’s contact in my phone. My phone was brought to my ear, letting it ring.
I moved the leg Gabby was attached to, up and down, making her giggle.
“Hi Miguel.” Her soft voice greeted me.
I sat up. “Kenedi, hi. I hope I’m not interrupting you or anything.”
Gabby’s eyes brightened at the sound of Kenedi’s name.
“No no, I just finished putting away some groceries.” She replied. “Was there anything you needed?”
I scratched the back of my neck. “Gabby is asking for you and I wanted to see if you could come over.”
“Of course I can, I’ll be there soon.”
My heart throbbed.
“Okay thank you. See you then.” I hung up and smiled at my phone, then at Gabby who was also smiling.
“She’s coming?” Her smile was wide.
“Yes.” I nodded.
She hopped off my leg and danced around the living room.
I laughed and clapped at her movements.
“I have to get my toys!” She darted upstairs.
I laughed and eased into my seat waiting for Kenedi’s arrival.
🕷️
“This one pink please.” Gabby sat on the living room floor with Kenedi, who painted her nails.
Kenedi smiled. “Okay.”
I was in the kitchen preparing dinner. At least I’m trying to, I’m just so distracted by Kenedi. Sneaking glances at her, scanning her from top to bottom.
She wore more casual clothing today. A white t-shirt that exposed a small portion of her stomach, light washed low rise flared jeans that hugged her so well, and baby pink converse. This time, her braids weren’t held back by any headband, they were free.
“How old are you, Kenedi?” I drizzled cheese over the uncooked lasagna.
“23.” She answered, keeping all her focus on painting Gabby’s nails.
“Wow, that’s a big number.” Gabby commented, causing Kenedi to smile.
7 year age difference. Is that bad? Is it weird?
“How come you asked?”
I twitched, then looked at her.
Her eyes were such a gorgeous shape, almost like a cat.
“I just never caught your age is all.” I replied, turning around to open the oven.
The heat hit my face and I turned back for the pan of uncooked lasagna, gently placing it in the oven. I closed it and took my apron off, then made my way to the sofa.
“Daddy look!” Gabby ran towards me with her hands out.
I admired her neatly painted nails. “They’re so pretty, mija.”
She smiled, showing her missing teeth. “I love them!” She turned and hugged Kenedi which caught her off guard. “Thank you Kenedi.”
She hugged back. “You’re so very welcome, Gabby.”
Pulling away, Gabby ran upstairs. “I have a dress I want to wear with my nails!”
“Okay, mija! Take your time!” My eyes followed her up the stairs.
“Si Papá!” Her little feet tapped as she ran up the stairs.
“She’s so cute.” Kenedi awed while sitting in the floor.
“She is. She really likes you, she was going to cry today if you didn’t come.” I laughed.
She playfully pouted. “I’ll make time for her on the weekends.”
“Oh that’s okay, I’m trying not to spoil her too much.” I leaned back in my seat. “Besides, you probably have plans with your friends and boyfriend on the weekends.”
She chuckled softly and played with her hair. “Funny of you to think I have a boyfriend, thanks for thinking so highly of me.”
So she doesn’t have a boyfriend.
My brows rose. “Oh sorry, I was convinced you did. You’re just a very pretty young lady.”
She laughed again, this time looking directly into my eyes, but only for a second. “It’s okay, I’m not that famous with guys, I tend to shy away.”
“Don’t be shy.” I told her.
“Okay.” She answered quietly. “What about you? Do you have any girlfriends?”
I tensed up at the question. “No I don’t, I haven’t started dating since the divorce.”
“What happened?” She suddenly asked.
My eyes darted towards her. She looked a bit sad, maybe it was pity for me.
“That’s if you don’t mind me asking.” She trailed off.
I let out a breath. “It felt like a loveless relationship, so she filed for divorce, I agreed it was for the best.”
“Do you still love her?” Empathy in her voice.
“Well I did, during the remainder of that so called relationship, but I grew out of it during the entire process of the divorce.”
Why am I even talking to her about this? This was so embarrassing.
“I’m sorry that happened, Miguel.” She stood and made her way towards me.
I began silently panicking. What was she going to do?
Her arms wrapped around me, holding me so tightly. My arms slowly wrapped around her smaller frame. She was warm, she smelled so good. She was soft, just how I imagined.
My eyes closed, taking it all in.
“Hugs make everything better.” Her breath hit my neck, making me shudder a bit.
She pulled away and gave me a smile. “Do you feel better?”
God, how could I not like this girl?
I replied. “I do, thank you.” My body was hot.
She picked her bag up off the floor. “I have to get going now, I promised my parents I would go to church with them tomorrow morning.” She groaned.
I frowned. “I was hoping you could stay for dinner.”
“Next time, I promise.”
I smirked. “I take promises seriously.”
She smiled. “I do too. Good night, tell Gabby bye for me.”
“Will do, drive safe.”
She flashed a smile one more time and she was out the door.
“Mierda.” I ran both hands down my face.
Were we just flirting?
Gabriella’s feet tapped down the stairs. She appeared in front of me in a big pink puffy dress.
“Princesa!” I marveled.
She twirled and look around. “Where’s Kenedi?”
“She had to go home, she said bye. But you can show her your dress on Monday, okay?”
She sighed. “Okay Papá.”
🎀
Next part: –four.
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rphelperblog · 2 years ago
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Truly Devious Book Quote Rp Meme
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book by Maureen Johnson- feel free to edit or change pronouns for rp purposes
“You have to take things as they are, not how you hear they're supposed to be.”
“There is nothing so serious as a game.”
“But I’m usually right. The people who worry are always right. That’s how that works.”
“I’m a strong believer in truth in advertising.”
“When you have enough power and money, you can dictate the meanings of words.”
“As a writer, are those really the words you want to use?”
“You have to take things as they are, not how you hear they’re supposed to be.”
“I like to look nice when I go to see His Majesty, the Burger King.”
“Panic attacks are mean little freaks.”
“Why was she so anxious? Because she had anxiety.”
“I always wanted stories to be real, so I started writing my own.”
“Anything is better than doing what I'm supposed to be doing.”
“Where her books were, she was. Get the books right and the rest will follow. Now she could address the rest of the room.”
"I'll drink the living blood of trees,- maple syrup.”
“Few words are more chilling when put together than make friends.”
"Believe me. I'm aware. It's an effective way to communicate if you don't have any other options. If you can't get in through the door, throw a rock through the window. And I think maybe you're the same way.”
Their idea of what constituted interesting was so limited. They were never going to have as much fun as she did.”
“His voice was deep and smooth and rich, like what gravy might sound like if gravy could talk.”
“What serves on either side, and if you wish to hide, may protect you from your foe, or show him where to go?”
“Sometimes you have to leave the fucking Shire, Frodo.”
“Games are not fun when you don't know you're playing.”
“How could she be anxious when everything was so cheerful? Very easily, as it happens. Brain chemistry doesn’t care about how pretty things are.”
“Meet my dead dad,"
“Money should never stand in the way of learning.”
“We have a limited emotional vocabulary. We’re indoor kids.”
“The whole thing smelled like a thrift shop that had been baked in a low oven and felt like a too-tight and too-long hug by a rejected Muppet.”
“He had a smile like a hammock—just get in, go to sleep, forget your troubles and cares.”
“The moon was thin like a hook, and the owls were calling. The smell of fall leaves blew on the wind and he was dead.”
“The thing about looking just a little bit means it’s really easy to look a little bit more.”
“There is something about early mornings that changes your perceptions subtly. The light is new; no one has put on the defenses of the day. All is reset and not quite real yet.”
"It's not bad or good. It just is. That's something you'll find out if you decide to go into this line of work. You have to take things as they are, not how you hear they're supposed to be.
“There is something about early mornings that changes your perceptions subtly. The light is new; no one has put on the defences of the day. All is reset and not quite real yet.”
"I liked you from the first moment I saw you, when you looked like you wanted to punch me in the face for just being alive. That probably says something dark about me. And I think you like me because I annoy you. Both of us have real problems, but maybe we should make our weird personalities work for us.”
“People say depression lies. Anxiety is just stupid. It’s unable to tell the difference between things that are actually scary (being buried alive, for example) and things that are not scary at all (being in bed under the covers). It hits all the same buttons. Stop. Go. Up. Down. It’s all the same to anxiety.”
“How did everyone else know how to do yoga?
The one advantage to all of this was that it cleared Stevie's mind of everything. She heard exercise did that. Was this what they meant? You were so busy being confused and trying to stop your sweaty hands from slipping on a mat that you couldn't think anymore?”
“There is a mistaken notion that wealth makes people content. It does the opposite, generally. It stirs a hunger in many - and no matter what they eat, they will never be full.”
"How would I know? Do I look like I go to a lot of dances?"
“That was something they taught you in anxiety therapy- the thoughts may come, but you don't have to chase them all. It was sort of the opposite of good detective work, in which you had to follow every lead.”
“Shock is a funny thing. Things get both sharp and fuzzy. Time stretches and distorts. Things come rushing into focus and seem larger than they are. Other things vanish to a single point.”
“Last things were so strange. Most people had no control over of what their last acts would be.”
“Sherlock said, “I consider that a man’s brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.”
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octoberobserver · 2 years ago
Text
Coming Home For Chris(tmas)
(Read on ao3)
“Christopher has a crush on a girl in school.”
Buck froze, oven mitts half-raised to the oven door.
The three of them had spent the afternoon baking cookies for Christopher’s Christmas pageant. Batch number three was cinnamon. It made the entire house smell like the holidays.
“Uh…” he murmured intelligibly over his shoulder at Eddie who had begun to pace back and forth in front of the fridge. “Really? Who?”
“Isabella, apparently. Izzy. Her mom is Kimmy Clemons, you know who—”
“Constantly flirts with you at PTA meetings?” Buck interjected with a quirked eyebrow, carefully taking the cookies out and placing them on a cooling rack.
“And bake sales, parent/teacher conferences, and every time I’m off shift,” Eddie finished with a wince, running a hand through his hair.
Buck repositioned the cooling rack so it wouldn’t tilt.
“How do you know Chris has a crush on Izzy? Did he say something?”
Eddie picked at his sleeve, gaze conveniently averted.
“Remember the school dance a while back?”
“I remember you freaking out about it.”
“I did not freak out!”
A slow smile spread across Buck’s face as their eyes finally met.
“Okay, so I freaked out a little,” Eddie conceded, grabbing two beers from the fridge, letting the door slam closed, and resting his forehead against it for a second.
Buck watched him out of the corner of his eye, dread settling in the pit of his stomach as he realized he was tip-toeing around something uncomfortable.
“Eddie, what—”
“She asked me out.”
Buck blinked, taking off the oven mitts.
“...Kimmy?”
“No, Izzy—of course, Kimmy,” Eddie gave what sounded like a half-chuckle-half-groan as he turned from the fridge and held out a beer for Buck to take.
“She came up to me the other day, talking about how our kids were so cute together at the dance,” he shrugged, coming to stand at the sink. “Christopher’s crush is requited, apparently,” he added, taking a sip of his beer as Buck leaned back against the counter, nursing his own, their shoulders brushing.
“Like mother, like daughter,” Buck mumbled under his breath before clearing his throat. “That’s uh…good, right?” he forced out even though panic was beginning to trickle into his veins, a mantra of he’s too young, he’s too young, I’m not ready for him to grow up, repeating over and over in his head.
“I mean, I doubt Chris would be psyched about me dating his crush’s mom,” Eddie shrugged again, their shoulders properly pressing against each other. “But it doesn’t matter. I turned her down.”
Buck couldn’t control his eyebrows. They shot up his forehead without his consent.
Eddie snorted. “C’mon, don’t look so surprised,” he murmured, taking another sip of beer.
Buck’s gaze caught on his Adam’s apple for a second before he shook his head and put down his beer. He wasn’t surprised, not really. Eddie had made it clear a while back that dating was the last thing on his mind, and would be for the foreseeable future. Still…
“What did you tell her?”
It could have just been a trick of the light, but if he didn’t know any better, he could’ve sworn that Eddie’s face flushed a deep crimson.
“I uh, I told her I was seeing someone.”
Buck’s eyebrows were physically unable to get any higher up on his forehead.
“And how did that go?”
Here, Eddie rubbed his chin in the exact way that told Buck he was mulling over something particularly embarrassing.
“She uh…” he mumbled to the floor. “She sorta assumed it was you...and I didn’t correct her.”
Buck was suddenly very glad he wasn’t holding a hot tray of cookies anymore, his palms gripping the counter so hard he could feel it denting his palms.
“You told Izzy’s mom that we’re dating?”
“No!” Eddie practically yelped, his shoulders hunched and eyes a little wild. “She assumed and I just didn’t say anything to…dispute it.”
“Huh.”
“Yeah.”
A beat of silence passed between them.
“Okay, so, no big deal,” Buck threw up his hands in what he hoped was a nonchalant gesture. “Easy mistake for her to make. I pick Christopher up from school sometimes, so—”
“It gets worse.”
Eddie was actively staring at the floor now, ears a rosy red.
Something flipped in Buck’s stomach.
“...how?”
Another beat.
Two.
“We’re invited to her Christmas party next weekend.”
~*~
Eddie was fucked.
And not in the good way.
Never in the good way, because he was his own worst enemy.
You’re spiraling, he heard Frank say in the recesses of his mind. Catatrophizing. We talked about this, Eddie.
But see, he wasn’t really. If anything, he should be spiraling more, catastrophizing to the nth degree—out and out panicking a lot more than he was. Because the thing was, the thing was, he had had one hell of a revelation recently.
“I think I’m…not straight.”
The words had wrenched from his lips in the quiet of Frank’s office one Thursday afternoon a few months back.
“Okay,” Frank replied, calm as ever, his face giving away exactly nothing. “You want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
But they did. Talk about it. Eventually. Because Eddie Diaz was winning therapy, dammit.
“You said in one of our sessions a few weeks ago that you think you’re not straight,” Frank began when the topic of his love life inevitably cropped up. “Is that something you’d like to elaborate on, or—”
“It doesn’t change anything,” Eddie interrupted, “it’s not like I intend on acting on it. Ever.”
Frank’s face did something at that. He wasn’t sure what. But he could take a guess.
“Not—not that there’s anything wrong with—or that I’m—” he cleared his throat, squeezing his hands tighter together. “I-I’m fine with it. I’ve accepted it. I know it’s okay, and I am. Okay. I’m just…getting used to it,” he swallowed roughly, shaking his head, starting again.
“This is coming out all wrong,” he sighed, not missing the irony in that statement.
Frank tilted his head.
“This sounds like something you’ve been thinking about for a long time.”
Longer than I realized.
“Yeah. You could say that,” he agreed with a sigh. “But I’m not going to date anymore so, it’s irrelevant.”
Frank tilted his head.
“You’re not going to date at all? For the rest of your life?”
Eddie crossed his arms over his chest, barely holding back the wince when he realized his mistake.
“Nope. I’m fine on my own. I’m used to…being alone. Just me and Chris. I don’t need anything else. Anyone else.”
Frank eyed his crossed arms.
“You don’t need love, companionship, or—”
“I have plenty of that,” he shrugged. “I have a great support group. My friends—the 118, they’re my family. And Buck…”
The name got stuck in his throat.
And stayed there.
“Buck…” Frank coaxed.
And that was just it, wasn’t it?
Buck.
Eddie didn’t need love or companionship, and didn’t feel like he was missing out on anything because…he had it already, in a way, with Buck. He had had that particular revelation when he was bleeding out in the middle of the street in downtown LA and all he could see was his best friend reaching out to him across the asphalt.
But Buck was a no-go. A non-option in his brain. Always had been, always will be.
Sometimes, the fantasy is better than the reality.
That was what Carla had said. And while she meant it in relation to Chris and his crush, Eddie would be lying if he said it didn’t make a very particular bell ring in the back of his mind about his own…feelings. Feelings that he absolutely, positively, could never acknowledge. Ever.
He raised his eyes to meet Frank’s, taking a deep breath.
“Buck’s my best friend. I trust him with my life. With Christopher’s life. He’s always there for us. He’s…the best friend we could ever ask for,” he finished lamely, forcing himself to keep eye contact.
Something unreadable flickered in Frank’s gaze.
“Is that enough?”
Eddie took another, shakier breath.
“It has to be.”
Frank nodded, face pensive in a way that had Eddie’s stomach squirming.
“Do you think that subconsciously you might feel differently about that?”
He frowned.
Frank laid his hands in his lap, leaning forward slightly.
“You said that you let Kimmy make assumptions about you and Buck. That you were a couple. Is that something you would have done in the past? Before you started coming to terms with your sexuality?”
“People have mistaken us for a couple pretty much since we met.”
The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. Frank did him the disservice of not looking in the least bit surprised.
“And how do you feel about that?”
Eddie squinted at him.
“The ‘And how does that make you feel?’ question? Really?”
Frank stared back at him. Waiting.
Shifting his weight on the couch, he forced himself to uncross his arms and keep eye contact.
“I don’t feel anything about it,” he shrugged. “It’s just something that happens. Like I said, Buck is a huge part of my life, of Christopher’s life. I get why some people would…misconstrue that.”
Frank’s face, as always, was frustratingly unreadable.
“It doesn’t bother me if they do,” he continued, compelled for some reason to further explain himself. “If they think we’re something we’re not. It’s no big deal.”
Something flickered in his therapist’s eyes at that.
“If it’s no big deal, why didn’t you correct Kimmy about it?”
Eddie’s stomach did a somersault. Clearing his throat, he broke eye contact and opted to stare out the window.
“I just…didn’t.”
He knew it wasn’t a proper reason. An appropriate answer. But it was all he had.
Frank nodded all the same.
“And now you’re going to a Christmas party under the guise of being partners?”
It wasn’t said to be antagonizing. Just a mere statement of fact. But Eddie felt his heckles rise ever so slightly anyway.
“We are partners.”
Frank arched an eyebrow, letting that hang between them.
“Yeah, fine,” Eddie continued, unwilling to sit in a silence he knew would eventually get uncomfortable. “Buck agreed to…to…”
“Be your boyfriend?”
He swallowed, the sensation of his heart jumping into his throat almost overwhelming.
“Pretend to be, yeah.”
The words spoken aloud in the quiet, private room, somehow felt even more profound and unbelievably ridiculous than they had in his kitchen a week prior. But if Frank agreed with the sentiment, he didn’t show it.
“Alright, well. I hope you both enjoy the party, Eddie,” he glanced briefly over to the clock. “We’re nearing our time. Will I pencil you in for next week?”
Eddie couldn’t help the frown spreading across his face at his cavalier tone of voice.
“Wait. Don’t you wanna ask me how I feel about that?”
That same something glimmered in Frank’s eyes again.
“I could,” he agreed. “But I have a feeling if I ask next week instead, I’ll get a longer answer.”
~*~
They had been standing in front of Buck’s closet for fifteen solid minutes.
“What exactly do you wear to a PTA Mom’s Christmas Party?”
Eddie chuckled at his bewilderment as he stared into the abyss of clothing, scratching the back of his head.
“Doesn’t matter,” he smirked. “You could wear a brown paper bag and still have all the moms drooling. Some dads too. And you know it.”
Buck threw him a grin over his shoulder before shaking his head.
“Says the man who has been asked out by like, six different divorcees in the last year. Including the host. Which, is what got us into this in the first place.”
His tone was teasing, it clearly a joke, but Eddie couldn’t help the feeling of dread creeping up his spine. He hadn’t meant to imply that Buck was his boyfriend to Kimmy, he really hadn’t. He just…short-circuited. Briefly stopped working because a beautiful woman was propositioning him in the middle of his son’s school’s parking lot and he wasn’t smooth enough to pivot out of it any other way, apparently.
He had quietly accepted a while back that he was no longer interested in dating. Since Ana, when things just didn’t feel right, he had asked himself over and over and over again, just what he was missing. But by then, he had already been shot, and had a fair idea exactly what that was. He just couldn’t admit it.
Things had been different lately though. Taking time away from the 118, having his breakdown, and going back to Frank, he wasn’t as able to fully ignore the signs anymore. The final nail in the coffin had been Hen trying to set him up with Karen’s friend, Daniela. She had been perfect on paper. Smart, funny, beautiful, good with kids…the whole package. And yet, Eddie knew in the first ten minutes of their coffee date that it just wasn’t to be. It wasn’t what he wanted. And hadn’t been for a long, long time.
“Hey Buck, you know you don’t have to do this, right?” he began with an apologetic air, cutting through his own spiraling thoughts. “I can just set Kimmy straight. Tell her it was all a misunderstanding—”
“And she’ll ask you out again,” Buck finished, turning around to face him. “You’re like the Hollywood heartthrob of Christopher’s school, Eddie. Whether you like it or not. So unless you plan on taking her up on her offer—”
He broke off at the grimace on Eddie’s face.
“Thought not,” he laughed, stepping closer and clasping his shoulder. “So, we do this. Eat some fancy appetizers, drink a little wine, and keep all the thirsty divorcees away from you. Easy.”
Eddie didn’t think it sounded easy at all. But nobody could argue with that hopeful little grin on his best friend’s face.
“Don’t say ‘thirsty,’” he replied, nose wrinkling. “But okay, yeah, we do this,” he continued, his voice not quite as sure as Buck’s. “Everyone will get the message, and Chris will get to see his crush. It’s a win-win.”
“Exactly.”
With that, Buck squeezed his shoulder and turned back to his closet.
“So. Red shirt or blue?”
~*~
Buck knew he was a little bit of a people-pleaser. Probably more than a little bit, if he was totally honest with himself. And if you asked the 118, Maddie, and Eddie especially, they would likely call him a chronic people-pleaser. His sperm donation debacle this year alone was more than enough proof of that.
But what could he say? He liked helping people. He liked being useful to his friends, family, and yeah, strangers too. It wasn’t just his job, it was his way of life. Which was why, when his best friend in the entire world (excluding Christopher), asked him for a teeny, tiny, minuscule favour, he didn’t think twice.
And sometimes, that was Evan Buckley’s biggest problem.
“Buck, why did Izzy’s mom ask me if my Dad’s boyfriend has any dietary restrictions?”
Thank God they were stopped at a red light when Chris piped up with that particular question because Buck wasn’t sure if it wouldn’t have caused him to swerve into traffic otherwise. He should have seen it coming. Eddie should have too, really. And yet, here Buck was, after picking Chris up from Carla’s, with no reinforcements because Eddie had taken on an extra shift.
“Uh…” he glanced to the rearview mirror, catching the kid’s eye from the backseat. “Dietary restrictions are—”
“People who can’t have things like dairy and gluten because it makes them sick. Like Sineád in my class. I know that, Buck,” Christopher cut across him with more sass than usual. “That’s not what I meant.”
Buck’s palms started sweating as he gripped the steering wheel so tightly, his knuckles turned a ghostly white. He let out a small sigh of relief when the Diaz house came into view.
“Let’s get you inside, bud,” he said in a tone far too light to be believable as he pulled into the driveway. “I’ll get dinner started, you can get out your science project, and we’ll—”
“Talk about how you’re my Dad’s boyfriend now?”
Shit.
He didn’t thump his head down on the steering wheel. But it was a near thing.
Guess that was what he got for being such a chronic people-pleaser.
Eddie will be home in an hour, he thought to himself with an edge of desperation. I can keep a twelve-year-old at bay ‘til then, right?
~*~
Eddie let out a breath as he stepped into the warmth of his front door, pleased to hear the tell-tale sign of his son and best friend no doubt wreaking havoc in his kitchen as usual.
“I’m home!” he called out, taking off his jacket and shoes, a smile already replacing the tired and weary frown that had formed on the lonely drive from work.
“Dad! Dad! In here!”
Curious at Chris’ urgent but unalarmed tone, he made his way around the corner and into the kitchen, only to be immediately met with a very alarmed-looking Buck.
“Eddie—”
“Izzy’s mom said that Buck’s your boyfriend. Is that true?”
He froze, his heart catapulting into his throat.
Chris took advantage of his element of surprise, rounding the table and leveling him with a quirked eyebrow.
Should have seen this coming…
“Chris, let’s give your dad a sec, okay?” Buck recovered first, clapping him on the shoulder and stirring him gently toward the salad bowl. “You’re not done yet, bud. You want some coffee, Eddie?”
His head snapped up at the sound of his name, his brain rebooting like his dumb Hildy after yet another unnecessary software update.
Why the hell does a coffee machine need software anyway?!
Shaking his head to rid himself of that particular gripe, he crossed the room and took the outstretched cup, swallowing the lump in his throat as his fingers brushed against Buck’s.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.”
Nobody talked for the next few moments, the soft hum of the radio playing upbeat Christmas songs the only thing breaking the silence as Eddie sipped his coffee and tried not to spiral.
“Done!” Chris exclaimed suddenly, looking up to Buck for approval. “Can we talk about it now?”
Over his head, Buck’s eyes met Eddie’s.
With one look, Eddie knew he understood his silent message.
“Let’s have dinner first, okay, Superman? Your dad’s had a long day at work and is probably really hungry.”
Chris pouted at that but was a good kid who wouldn’t want anyone to go hungry under any circumstances. So he mercifully dropped it. For thirty whole minutes. Right up until Eddie laid his fork down onto his empty plate.
“Now?” he asked, gaze flickering between them eagerly.
Eddie heaved a sigh.
Time to face the music, Diaz. You’ve only yourself to blame.
Getting up out of his seat, he crouched down to his son’s eye level, leaning in close.
“Mijo, remember what I told you about lying?”
A crease formed between Christopher’s eyebrows.
“You said it’s wrong and we should never do it.”
Shot yourself in the foot there, huh?
“I did,” he agreed, rubbing the back of his neck. I did say that, yeah. But…sometimes…to…not hurt someone’s feelings, and let them down easy—a small, white lie can be the nicest thing to do.”
Chris grew thoughtful, picking at the hem of his sleeve.
“So, you told Mrs. Clemons that Buck was your boyfriend to be nice. Because you didn’t want to tell her you don’t like her and hurt her feelings?”
“Yeah. Not—not that she isn’t nice. It’s not that I don’t like her—”
“You just don’t like like her.”
“Right. Exactly.”
“Okay,” Chris nodded, looking between them.
Eddie let out a tiny breath, gaze darting quickly to Buck in relief.
“So she thinks you like like, Buck?”
His heart lurched at that. He rubbed a hand down his face to hide his grimace.
“Yeah.”
Chris gave another nod, turning to Buck.
“And that you like like Dad back?”
Eddie forced himself to keep looking at his son as Buck cleared his throat, his voice still coming out a little hoarse.
“Uh, I guess so, yeah.”
A beat of silence engulfed the room.
“Okay,” Chris said with an air of finality. “I’ll pretend you like like each other too then.”
Eddie reached out and squeezed his shoulder, hyperaware of Buck’s gaze burning a hole into the side of his head.
“Thanks, bud. But just remember, lying isn’t—”
“I know, Dad,” Chris interjected, sounding more and more like an unimpressed teen every day. “Can I go play Minecraft now?”
Buck unsuccessfully hid a grin behind his hand as he stood up and began clearing away the plates.
“Alright, kid. Thirty minutes and then it’s pj’s, okay?”
Chris grinned, reaching out for his crutches and making his way out of the room, calling over his shoulder. “Thanks for dinner, Buck! Your food is way better than Jamie’s mom’s boyfriend’s!”
Eddie smothered a laugh with his sleeve, marveling not for the first time, just how brazen his son was getting with age.
“Should I be worried about his sass?” he asked once he was out of earshot.
“Nah,” Buck replied, “he’s a good kid, knows where to draw the line. Just like his dad.”
They cleared away the dishes, making their way back into the kitchen and over to the sink. When they finished filling the dishwasher, Eddie found the strength to speak.
“Well…that could’ve gone worse.”
Buck hummed. “Oh, yeah. Sorry for the ambush, by the way. He first asked me about it when I was driving and I didn’t know what to say, so I kinda ‘ask your Dad-ed’ him until you got home.”
Another wave of guilt washed over Eddie. He let out a groan of frustration.
“Jesus. I’m a shitty friend, and father, getting you both to lie for my stupid impulse decision,” he glanced to the ceiling in embarrassment. “I should just come clean.”
Buck stepped toward him, reaching out and clasping his shoulders, lowering his head to catch his eye.
“Hey, we talked about this. It’s a harmless white lie, Ed. And Chris is already on board. He knows lying is serious and not the right thing to do in literally every other circumstance. And I—” he broke off, an enigmatic grin breaking out on his face. “I’m fine with it too. It’s no big deal. I’m pretty sure half the PTA thinks we are like secretly married or something already. If Darcy is to be believed, anyway.”
Right. He'd almost forgotten Buck was just as much involved in the parent gossip as he and Carla tried and failed not to be.
“Darcy sees conspiracies everywhere,” Eddie rolled his eyes, a chuckle falling from his lips. “That’s why Kat made that gossip jar. She told me the other day it’s nearly full enough for them to take a second honeymoon in the summer.”
They shared a laugh at that as Buck grabbed them both beers out of the fridge and made his way out to the TV, sinking down onto the couch and kicking off his shoes.
“What episode of Fuego En La Sangre are we on now?”
Eddie swallowed the familiar trickle of embarrassment that he felt whenever their newest binge-watch habit was brought up. Guilty pleasure didn’t even begin to cover it. He’d never forget when Buck had crept up behind him one night after working a long shift, only to find him deeply engrossed in the plight of the Reyes brothers, teasing him mercilessly until he too got sucked into the addictive melodrama.
I’m practicing my Spanish, he had insisted at the time. I need to keep on top of it to help with Chris’ homework when you’re not here, Edmundo. It’s called being responsible.
It was called being hooked.
But neither of them would admit it.
It was when they were halfway through episode 97 of the telenovela that Buck turned to him, his face unreadable.
“So, what’s our story?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” his eyes darted to the TV, “how did we…become a thing? How long have we been dating?”
“Uh…” Eddie’s brain was completely blank. But luckily, Buck seemed to be on a bit of a roll with the questions.
“And what are the ground rules?”
“Ground rules?”
“Yeah, like…what’s okay and not okay to do when pretending to be a couple?” he clarified, shifting on the couch to face him. “Do we hold hands, hug, kiss—”
“We’re gonna be in a room with a bunch of seventh graders and their parents, Buck,” Eddie interjected, his face on fire as he tried not to think about doing any of those things with his platonic best friend. “I doubt we’ll need to bust out the PDA to be believable.”
Buck let out another chuckle, glancing back at the TV.
“Yeah, you’re probably right. And we should probably stick close to the truth about how we got together, right?”
Eddie’s stomach flipped.
“And…what would that be, exactly?” he asked, half afraid of the answer but determined not to show it. “You were threatened by me and beyond pissed all day until we took a grenade out of a man’s leg and you decided I was the guy for you? Something like that?”
Buck tilted his head, eyes dancing.
“Yeah. Something like that.”
Warmth pooled in Eddie’s gut. As usual, he ignored it.
“Chris is looking forward to the party,” Buck murmured, taking another sip of his beer. “He was trying hard not to gush about it on the way home.”
That warmth spread to Eddie’s chest.
“Our kid’s growing up.”
The words tumbled from his lips without a second’s thought. It hadn’t been the first time he had let it slip out, but Buck looked gobsmacked all the same. Eddie watched silently as his best friend visibly gathered himself, a small smile gracing his lips.
“Yeah. He is.”
They shared a look. Quiet and private before Buck cleared his throat, picking at the label on his beer.
“I think he’s excited to see Izzy on Saturday. If we pull this off, we might just be forgiven for the field trip incident,” he took another sip of beer. “So, think you can convincingly be in love with me for three hours? For Chris?”
Something enigmatic was shrouding Buck’s face as he awaited Eddie’s response.
“I think I can manage. For Chris,” he echoed, clinking their bottles together and trying to ignore just how easily he could be smitten with Evan Buckley.
~*~
“Chris! Buck will be here any minute. You ready to go?”
Eddie strained his ears for his son’s reply but only heard muffled grumbles instead.
“I think he’s nervous,” a familiar voice said behind him.
“Well, he’s changed his shirt three times now so—” Eddie broke off as he turned on the spot, catching sight of Buck standing in his bedroom doorway.
He looked…good.
He had gone with dark jeans and the deep burgundy button-up they had picked out days before while standing perplexed in front of his closet. What Eddie had failed to take into account at the time, however, was just how different something could look on the hanger versus on a body. Especially a body as toned and well-built as Buck’s.
He stared at the broad line of his shoulders as they stretched the tight fabric. His throat went dry.
Yep. Definitely not straight, Diaz.
Accepting his friend’s attractiveness hadn’t been much of a struggle. Anyone with functioning eyes could see that Buck was a ridiculously handsome man. Accepting that he was attacted to Buck, however, had been a little harder to swallow. Much like how he felt right now.
“You went with the hunter green,” Buck grinned at his choice of outfit before Eddie’s brain could reboot, stepping into his room and halting next to him, glancing at the mirror that they had installed on the wall during their impromptu renovation a few months back.
Eddie stared at the picture the two of them made. Standing side by side, shoulder to shoulder in their fancy, very festive, accidentally complementary clothes. They looked like a couple, that was for sure.
“Yeah, what can I say? You’ve got good taste sometimes, Buckley,” he smirked, shaking his head at their reflections before buttoning up his sleeve and making for the door.
“Oh, wait—” Buck reached out and clasped his shoulder, turning him back around to face him.
Eddie let himself be led, watching quietly as Buck reached up to his collar and started fixing it. They had stood this close before. More than once. But ever since his little revelation, Eddie found himself getting more and more breathless. He could control himself at work, his professionalism taking the wheel, but in moments like this, when they were alone, close enough to feel each other’s warmth, it was almost too much to bear.
“There. Perfect,” Buck smiled, his face a little flushed as he took patted Eddie’s chest and took a step back.
“Thanks,” Eddie just about managed to reply before he heard the tell-tale tap of his son’s crutches.
~*~
The Clemons home was less of a house and more of an estate. With five bedrooms, four bathrooms, one half-bath, stainless-steel kitchen, dining room, family room, converted attic, basement, two garages, and heated pool, Eddie estimated it must have cost something well in the seven-figure range.
“Whoa!” Christopher aptly exclaimed as they made their way up to the front door, he and Buck exchanging an awed glance.
“Best behaviour, okay?” Eddie mumbled under his breath as he saw a figure approaching through the stained glass. “You too, Chris.”
Buck let out a squawk of indignation just as Kimmy Clemons threw open the door, a large, blindly-white smile on her face.
“Diazes!” she practically sang as she ushered them in. “I’m so glad you came. Happy Holidays, come on in, let Stefan take your coats.”
A tall, pale man helped them out of their coats and scarves before disappearing silently through a door to the right.
Huh. They have their own Lurch.
“Eddie, you’re looking as handsome as ever,” Kimmy winked before tousling Chris’ hair. “You too, Christopher. You’re getting so tall! Why don’t you go join the kids in the playroom? It’s just down the hall, first door on the left. I’ll call you guys for snacks soon.”
Chris looked from Eddie to Buck and back again before taking a deep breath. “Thanks, Mrs. Clemons.”
With that, he left them in the foyer. Subtly, Buck moved closer to Eddie, the backs of their hands just about brushing and making his skin tingle.
“Oh, Evan, good to see you too,” Kimmy added airily, turning on her heel and motioning for them to follow her.
“Buck,” Eddie corrected for approximately the three-hundredth time since they first met, raising an eyebrow at Buck in apology.
“Right. Buck. Sorry,” she nodded, halting them at an expansive, rectangular table rife with an assortment of finger food. “Please, help yourselves. The staff is circling with hors d’oeuvres and champagne too.”
With one last grin, she stepped into the crowd of people without a backward glance.
“‘The staff,’” Buck echoed, marveling at the well-dressed waiters spread throughout the room.
“How the other half lives,” Eddie muttered as a member of said staff halted at his side, picking up a champagne flute with thanks, and taking a hearty sip. He wasn’t driving tonight, after all.
“Yep,” Buck agreed, reaching out for his own glass and taking a smaller sip, eyes narrowing.
“Mind your delicate pallet,” Eddie teased as he watched him wince.
“Hey, I’m more of a beer guy,” Buck elbowed him, taking another sip and wincing deeper.
A fond chuckle escaped him before he could stop it.
“You’re—”
“Quite the spread, huh,” a familiar voice interrupted him.
“Kat, hi!” Buck whirled around, pulling Kat Alvarez, mom to Christopher’s best friends Mateo and Rosa into a large hug.
“Boys, don’t you two look festive,” she smiled as she returned the hug, catching Eddie’s eye over Buck’s shoulder.
“Like they stepped out of a Christmas catalogue,” her wife, Darcy agreed as she saddled up to them, wrapping her arms around Eddie and stealing a stuffed mushroom off his plate.
“So, you and Buck?”
They exchanged compliments and pleasantries as the DJ began to play soft Christmas music. Glancing around, Eddie caught sight of many other familiar faces from the elementary school’s parking lot—parents, guardians, and nannies alike, mingling and half-heartedly dancing.
It was as he was tucking into his fourth stuffed mushroom that Darcy elbowed him, a suspicious look on her face.
The mushroom lodged in his throat. He coughed and coughed again as Darcy clapped him on the back. He saw Buck glance over to him in concern but he waved him off, watching as he and Kat continued their conversation, delving into the sweet treats on display.
“Darcy, I—”
“Sorry, didn’t mean to ambush you,” she interjected sheepishly also watching Buck and her wife with a fond expression. “Word travels fast round here and I just didn’t know you two were a thing is all. Not that I’m surprised.”
“W-What do you mean?” he rasped when he caught his breath, eyes a little watery.
He knew well enough what she meant. But it wasn’t like he could just admit that.
“Well,” she shrugged, “you look at him like he hung the moon, for starters.”
Shit.
“He’s my best friend,” he automatically replied before remembering that Buck was actually supposed to be his boyfriend too.
“And uh, yeah, I…”
Love him, was how his mouth was going to finish that sentence but his brain wouldn’t allow it.
“Can’t live without me,” Buck finished, suddenly appearing at his elbow, his hand coming up to rest on Eddie’s lower back, the warmth of his fingers seeping through the fabric of his shirt, pressing into his skin, and feeling like they belonged there.
Their eyes caught for a split second as Eddie gathered his thoughts, reminding himself that this was the plan, even if he felt bad about lying to their friends. Even temporarily.
“I was going to say ‘he’s my best friend and I know he’s lucky to have me’, actually,” he smirked cheekily, before turning back to Darcy and Kat.
The two women shared a look that Eddie didn’t quite understand.
“So,” Darcy began, something mischievous in her gaze. “When did you two finally realise you’re in love, then?”
Eddie’s entire world ground to a halt.
You expected this. You knew this was coming, Diaz, Jesus. Don’t freeze now. Say some—
The hand on his back rubbed up and down soothingly.
“What can we say?” Buck took the lead, sounding breezier than Eddie had ever felt in his life. “One day I just looked at him and thought, ‘oh. It’s you.’ I just couldn’t let myself see it before.”
Eddie’s heart lurched painfully in his chest, those words, said under these pretenses, were almost unbearable.
“Aww,” said Kat cheerily, thankfully not noticing his distress, “well, I think you’re perfect for each other.”
He felt his face flush, but before he could think of a response, Kimmy stepped up to the DJ booth, fiddling with the microphone.
“Hi everyone, thanks so much for coming,” her sing-song voice boomed through the speakers. “I hope you enjoy the food and music. I expect to see you all up dancing soon too. Happy Holidays!”
A sporadic chorus of whoops and applause followed before everyone returned to their eating and drinking. Eddie had taken a liberal gulp from his glass of champagne when Darcy leaned into him but directed her pointed stare to Buck.
“So, how come you never mentioned that you and Eddie were a couple, anyway? I would’ve stopped trying to set you up with my sister if I had known.”
Eddie felt Buck’s hand tense slightly as it pressed a little firmer into his lower back.
“It’s uh…new,” he replied pretty smoothly, his hand relaxing. “We haven’t really gone public with it yet, but when Kimmy asked Eddie out—”
“For the thirtieth time,” Kat added with a snort.
“Heh, yeah,” Buck agreed. “We uh, kinda realized we’d have to let the cat outta the bag.”
The wives shared another look that Eddie still couldn’t decipher.
“Well, I’m happy for you two,” Darcy clinked her glass against Buck’s. “‘Bout time you made your family official.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Eddie saw Buck falter slightly before shaking his head and giving a soft grin.
His stomach churned uncomfortably.
“Dad? Can I get a churro?”
Buck’s hand left his back at the sudden appearance of Christopher, blinking up at them with a hopeful look on his face, Rosa and Mateo in tow.
“Oh, yeah sure, bud. Just make sure to have a slider and fries first. I saw some carrot sticks and healthy stuff too so eat up,” Eddie replied, following his son to the impressive, kid-friendly spread and helping him fill his plate.
Once they all had their meals, the adults led them over to a large, circular table to get them seated. It was as Eddie was filling a glass of soda that he heard a screech behind him.
“Eddie Diaz! Where is Carla?! I was hoping to see her tonight!”
He turned, briefly catching Buck’s eye before painting on a smile that he hoped didn’t look as fake as it felt.
“Hey Denise, Carla couldn’t make it tonight. She’s visiting her niece in San Diego.”
Denise, the short, blonde, very excitable nanny to Chris’ friend Jamie, was visibly put out by this news. Eddie had a feeling that Carla did not feel the same. If her many stories of Denise’s antics over the last year were anything to go by.
“Aww, that’s a shame,” she replied with an exaggerated pout before thrusting her hand in Eddie’s face, a very large diamond fastened to her left ring finger. “I wanted to tell her my news—I just got engaged! Will asked me last night over eggnog by the fire, it was super romantic!”
He opened his mouth to congratulate her but her smack to his forearm cut him off.
“Not that I need to tell you two about romance. You’ll be next!”
He thanked God that she was looking at Buck at that moment because he had absolutely no idea what his face was doing.
“You’ll be up the aisle in no time, I’ll bet on that,” Denise continued, not phased by their silence. “Can’t believe I was right about you, I always had my suspicions that you were knockin’ boots,” she turned to Kat and Darcy, “back me up, ladies.”
They hummed back noncommittally, identical painted smiles on their faces, no doubt hoping, like Eddie was, that none of the kids would ask them what that meant.
He had never wanted the ground to swallow him up more in his entire life. He didn’t risk a glance at Buck, but he could see Chris grinning at him from where he was munching on a slider, taking in the conversation with interest.
“Hey Dad,” he piped up, almost giving Eddie a heart attack.
Don’t ask me what knocking boots means. Don’t ask me what—
“If you marry Buck, would I be your Best Man, or his?”
Buck let out a choked laugh as Eddie almost swallowed his tongue.
“Think we’re getting bit ahead of ourselves there, Superman,” he responded when it was clear that Eddie was no longer able to form coherent words.
Chris tilted his head at him, something glinting in his eyes.
“I mean, I guess I could be Best Man to both of you,” he said almost to himself before his attention was taken away by Mateo showing him something on his Nintendo Switch.
Eddie wasn’t too proud to admit he let out a little sigh of relief at that. Once the kids were occupied, the adults went about mingling and chatting around the room, letting their own food settle. He found himself catching up with some of the dads he had met while at Chris’ summer camp, reintroducing Buck to some that they hadn’t seen in a while.
“Ah, Buckley, your ‘better half’ if the rumours are true,” Ethan joked, elbowing Eddie in the side as he shook Buck’s hand.
“Oh they’re true alright,” Denise winked, poking Buck in the ribs. “These guys have been holdin’ out on us. Like I said, it won’t be long ‘til wedding bells. Oh my god, Daryl, did I show you my ring?!”
Eddie held back a wince but only barely. He had thought they had all moved on from wedding talk, but it seemed that his new but apparently unsurprising relationship was all people wanted to talk about. How long had it been since he and Buck had gotten together? Were they moving in together? Getting engaged? Would they have a spring or summer wedding? The list went on and on and—
♪ Christmas…the snow’s comin’ down…Christmas…I’m watchin’ it fall… ♪
“Oh! I love this song!” Kimmy clapped her hands in delight, popping up beside them and ushering them to the makeshift dancefloor. “Eddie, I hear you’re a phenomenal dancer, show us some moves!”
♪ Christmas…lots of people around… ♪
Eddie felt Buck collide into his back as he too was pushed into the crowd, a small number of couples swaying back and forth to the music.
“Come on, Diaz. Act like you like him,” Darcy goaded, looking positively gleeful as Kat slapped her shoulder in very lackluster way that didn’t discourage her at all.
He threw her a glare before cocking an eyebrow at Buck for permission.
Buck gave a silent, slightly amused okay, and they automatically stepped closer together, Eddie’s hands almost acting on autopilot, resting on his hips as Buck’s hands fell to his shoulders.
“This is definitely a slower version of this song,” he lamented, accepting their fate of dancing like awkward middle-schoolers for the next three minutes.
♪ Baby, please come home… ♪
“Shit, Buck I’m so sorry,” he groaned as they moved together. “How did I not think of the long-term problems of this? What, are we just supposed to play boyfriends until Chris graduates?!”
“No,” he squeezed his shoulder. “I think we’re supposed to play fiancés, next.”
“Buck!” Eddie scolded as his best friend broke out in a laugh.
“Eds, relax,” he grinned, his eyes dancing. “It’s not a big deal. It’s some nosy nannies, bored dads making small talk and—”
“Kat and Darcy! They’re our friends—”
“And we’ll let them in on it when we’re not surrounded by every single parent from Chris’ school,” Buck finished with his most soothing voice.
♪ ...full of happy sounds…baby, please come home… ♪
“I’m still sorry for dragging you into this,” he groused for what felt like the hundredth time, hyperaware of far too many eyes on them as they swayed.
“Hey, we’re partners,” Buck’s fingers tightened, clutching the fabric of his shirt. “I have your back. No matter what.”
♪ They’re singing deck the halls, but it’s not like Christmas at all… ♪
Eddie winced as his toes were stepped on for the third time in the last twenty seconds.
“You are a terrible dancer. Holy shit.”
♪ Pretty lights on the tree…Christmas…I’m watching them shine… ♪
“Hey! We can’t all have ballroom dancing lessons from age eleven,” Buck squawked, brow furrowed in obvious concentration. “Give me a break, okay? Maddie showed me how to slow dance once when I was like thirteen. I haven’t had a lot of practice.”
He took pity on him, reaching out with one hand and tilting his chin up.
“Well, first lesson—stop looking at your feet. My eyes are up here.”
Their gazes locked.
Eddie’s hand stayed where it was for a beat too long before falling down to take his hand in his.
♪ You should be here with me…baby, please come home… ♪
They let themselves get lost in it, Eddie trying his best to maneuver his best friend into some semblance of dancing.
“Oh! Boys! Look up!” Denise suddenly yelled from across the room.
Frowning, Eddie arched his neck up and—
Oh, shit.
“Mistletoe!” Denise crowed. “You know what that means!”
They froze.
“Yeah, Dad. You know what that means,” Christopher echoed from his spot at the kid’s table only a few feet away, glancing between them both with a daring gleam in his eye.
Eddie threw him a stern look, his fingers flexing on Buck’s hip almost subconsciously.
Aren’t kids supposed to be embarrassed by their parents’ PDA?
“Christopher…”
“You heard him, Ed,” Buck said with something unreadable on his face, tilting his head ever so slightly.
Eddie’s heart lodged in his throat, his eyes bugging out of their sockets. Buck’s breath ghosted over his cheek.
“You good? Stop me if this is too far,” he whispered, before slowly, so, so, slowly leaning in closer and closer…
Eddie said nothing. Couldn’t say anything. Not that he wanted to.
Buck’s surprisingly soft lips brushed against the very edge of his mouth in the tiniest, gentlest kiss he had ever had. It was chaste, blink and you’ll miss it, but still a kiss that had his toes curling and heart racing. Barely breathing, he ever-so-slightly brushed his own lips against Buck’s, taking a split second to savour the warmth—
And then it was gone.
♪ ...‘cause I remember when you were here…and all the fun we had last year… ♪
A series of very mature boos (Christopher’s the obvious loudest) broke him out of his reverie, a shaky breath finally escaping him as Buck leaned back, their eyes catching.
“That probably won’t shut them up but, it’s something, right?”
Hell yeah it’s something, holy shit.
♪ If there was a way…Christmas…I’d hold back this tear…but it’s Christmas day… ♪
If anyone noticed his quiet breakdown, Eddie couldn’t tell because he was too busy making sure he wasn’t the one stepping and stumbling all over Buck’s feet, the tiny, soft, warm kiss playing on his mind over and over like a broken record.
♪ Please, please, please… ♪
Buck kissed him.
♪ Please, please, please… ♪
His best friend had kissed him and was gripping his shoulders and attempting to dance with him. And it felt…amazing. Better than anything Eddie could remember feeling in a long, long time. If ever, he was ashamed to admit.
Then, the song was over.
♪ Baby, please come home…baby, please come home…baby, please come home… ♪
“And I think that’s my cue,” Buck forced a laugh, his hand slipping from Eddie’s jarringly as he made a hasty retreat.
“That totally did not count,” Denise was sure to tell them as soon as they stepped foot off the dancefloor.
“It totally counts,” Kat defended, though didn’t sound that convinced.
“My question is,” Darcy pointed at Buck, “when were you gonna tell me you have two left feet?”
The rest of the night went by in a blur for Eddie after that. He had three more drinks, danced some more, but with everyone but Buck, and ate more finger food than he had in the last three years. It was a good night overall if he was being honest. But if he was being more honest, he was far too preoccupied to really enjoy it.
“So, Mateo and Rosa are adamant that Chris absolutely has to stay over tonight,” Kat informed him at one point, past ten-thirty when the party was starting to wind down. “That good with you?”
He felt himself nod as he sought out his son in the crowd, finding him laughing at something Rosa was saying, his whole face lit up. Warmth pooled in his chest at the sight. Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t seen Christopher in Izzy’s company at all tonight. Instead, he had stuck to Rosa and Mateo like glue, the former getting the majority of his attention, smiles, and laughs.
Oh. Of course. The best friend. Like father, like son.
“Yeah, sure,” he agreed easily, chuckling at his son’s whoop of joy as Kat went to fill them in.
Eddie waved over at them just as he felt Kimmy approach him.
“I can’t say I wasn’t disappointed to hear you were taken, Eddie,” she mumbled practically into his ear, squeezing his shoulder. “But, I gotta admit, you and Buck make a great couple and seem very happy. He’s great with Chris and it’s obvious how much you love each other. Hope you guys have a great New Year’s. Thanks again for coming.”
With that, she flounced back into the dispersing crowd without a backward glance.
He blinked after her, dumbfounded, before shaking himself and going to find Lurch for his coat.
~*~
So, he had clearly lost his mind at some point tonight, that much was for sure. Because he had kissed Eddie. Eddie-Eddie. Edmundo freakin’ Diaz, his best friend (excluding Christopher) in the entire world.
What the fuck were you thinking, you stu—
“Jesus, it’s colder than Alaska in December in here,” Darcy broke through his downward spiral. “You think Ms. Kimmy cranked up the A.C. to subtly get us the hell outta here?”
A coat appeared under his nose.
He looked up to meet the bored gaze of the tall, thin man, ‘Stefan.’
“I think that’s a possibility,” he smirked at her, taking his coat with thanks and beginning to put it on.
It was when he had one arm through the sleeve that Darcy piped up again, sounding carefully nonchalant.
“So, whose idea was it to be fake boyfriends?”
He froze, the other arm of the coat hanging loosely in the air.
“Uh, what—”
“Save the denials, Buckley,” Darcy interjected, sagely taking the last gulp of her wine before beginning to button up her coat. “I knew you two hadn’t gotten your shit together even before your little stunt kiss. But seeing the dumbass look on your face after it? Dead giveaway.”
Buck winced, knowing they had been caught out. And also silently wondering what the hell his face had been saying.
“Sorry, Darce,” he mumbled quietly, trying to fix his sleeve. “It was a misunderstanding that kinda got outta hand and we just went with it. We were gonna let you and Kat in on the secret as soon as we got home and could call you.”
She narrowed her eyes at that, before stepping up and helping him with his coat, smoothing it down over his shoulders when she was done.
“I believe you, Buckley, it’s a likely story,” she winked before dropping a decibel. “You two are very convincing, really. You’re almost too good at the whole couple thing, you had everybody else fooled, I swear. But maybe think about why that is, huh? How practically nothing had to change about your behaviour to be instantly believed as boyfriends by literally everyone else…?”
“Darc—”
“Merry Christmas, Buck,” she waved him off, leaning up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Call me on New Year’s. You still gotta introduce me to Hen and Karen, you promised!”
With that, she turned on her heel and strode across the room toward her children. He could do nothing but watch her go, knowing his mouth was hanging open like a goldfish.
Kissing Eddie was…it had been a stupid impulse decision, like many, many more he had made in his life. And sure, it was a nice kiss, a good one, one that made his entire body tingle in a way that he hadn’t known it could do but—that was just the thrill of it. It was what you did in a fake relationship, right? To help sell the illusion. And with Christopher egging them on, he just…acted. Without thinking. As usual.
Shit.
~*~
Eddie regretted not just driving to the party and staying sober, even though he had enjoyed his well-earned, four-drinks buzz. Now though, there were tons of people congregated outside waiting for Ubers and he itched to just be back home, curled up in his sweats and henley and—Jesus. He really was turning into an old man.
He watched as Chris chatted animatedly to Buck as they meandered up the driveway, his best friend beaming down at him and nodding along, clearly taking in everything he was saying. When they reached the Alvarez car, Buck leaned down to give him a tight hug, a warm smile on his face. Just as he was about to pull away, Chris tugged him back in and whispered something in his ear. Buck’s face slackened slightly before he patted his back and said loud enough that Eddie could hear, “Love you too, Superman. Have fun.”
With that, Chris waited until Buck stepped away before he turned and waved Eddie over, starting to get into the car.
“Dad?” he piped up just as Eddie was depositing his backpack on the floor at his feet.
“Hm?”
Something flickered in Chris’ eyes as he carefully chose his words.
“Just so you know, even though I was teasing you earlier, I wouldn’t mind if you did like boys. And…and maybe dated someone. ”
He knows.
His kid had always been wiser than his years.
Underneath the initial jolt of fear, something deeply fond and hopeful rose in Eddie’s chest as he swallowed down the sudden well of conflicted emotions, a stinging behind his eyes at the earnest look on Chris’ face.
“Thanks, mijo. That—means a lot. We'll talk more later, okay? I love you so much,” he mumbled into his hair as he pulled him into a tight hug, letting it say everything that he couldn’t say out loud and trying not to read too much into who that someone could be.
“I love you too, Dad. See you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.”
Eddie reached down one last time to make sure everything was secure and noticed the remnants of something sticking out of the pocket of Chris’ jacket.
“Hey bud, why is there a broken twig in your—”
“Okay kiddos, we ready to go?”
Kat, Darcy, Rosa, and Mateo all began climbing into the car, Christopher steadily engulfed in chatter and effectively cutting Eddie off. Accepting his fate, he gave one last smile and thanks to the parents and closed the car door, walking back to stand beside Buck. They both watched the car drive away until they couldn’t see the lights in the distance anymore.
“What did Chris say to you?” Eddie asked quietly as Buck ordered an Uber from his phone.
“He asked me to stay over,” he chuckled, face awash with the glow of his cell. “Keep an eye on you tonight and be there when he comes back home tomorrow. I think he just wants my chocolate chip pancakes, but I didn’t have the heart to turn him down.”
Buck also hadn’t asked Eddie’s permission. But he knew he didn’t need to. Would never need to.
It was as their Uber pulled up to the curb a few minutes later, that the words Carla had said what felt like decades ago, began echoing in Eddie’s head.
Be sure you’re following your heart.
He climbed into the backseat, right after his best friend.
They drove home in comfortable silence.
~*~
“Your couch is calling to me,” Buck groaned as they plodded through the front door, Eddie turning on the lights and taking off his coat.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Buck, coat and all, sink down onto the couch in question, his large body crumpling like paper under his tiredness. Shaking his head with amusement, he toed off his shoes and followed, sitting down next to him, their thighs almost touching.
“What a night, huh?” Buck asked, tipping his head back against the cushions and letting his eyes fall closed.
“It wasn’t how I imagined my first kiss with a guy going, that’s for sure.”
Buck’s eyes snapped open wide, gaping at him.
“I was your fir—wait, you imagined kissing a guy?”
Oops. Four-drink-Eddie strikes again.
It was funny, in a way. In the few instances where he let himself think about it, he had always thought he’d feel fear at accidentally outing himself to his best friend. And he had thought, lying in the dark at night, that if he ever did pluck up the courage to do it on purpose, he’d feel sick with worry and anxiety, and that his hands would shake under the pressure.
But his heads were steady.
And yeah, there was a tiny amount of fear and anxiety trickling down his spine, but it was far outweighed by a sense of relief. Buck knows. My best friend knows. Even if he doesn’t know everything, that’s something. Buck isn’t going anywhere.
“Uh…okay. Guess I’m doing this,” he pivoted on the couch, their knees pressing together as their gazes met.
He took a breath.
“I-I’m…not straight. I started to figure it out a while back and haven’t told anyone but Frank. And now you, I guess.”
Buck blinked. Slowly, then more rapidly as it sank in.
“Wow. Thanks for telling me,” he murmured eventually before wincing. “Sorry. That’s probably not the best response to—”
“No, you’re fine,” he cut him off. “Honestly, it feels good to say it out loud outside of my therapist’s office. And…you’re my best friend, Buck. I trust you more than anyone in the world.”
A soft expression spread across Buck’s face.
“I trust you too, Eds. With everything. Come here, I’m so proud of you!”
He had a lapful of 6’2”, 160lbs Evan Buckley before he could take another breath. Strong, toned arms wrapped around him, enveloping him inside Buck’s open coat, his warmth encasing him.
“I’m here for you, Eddie,” Buck’s breath bounced off his neck. “And I know I already said it, but I’m so proud of you. You’ve come so far in—in the last couple of years since…”
“...the shooting,” Eddie finished. “Yeah. And listen, I—I know we still haven’t properly talked about what happened that day but…we will, okay? We have to. Soon. I promise.”
He felt rather than saw Buck nod from where his face was buried in his neck.
A quiet beat passed between them as Eddie allowed himself this. This one moment to bask in his friend’s comforting hug.
Then, Buck leaned back. But didn’t go far. A sheepish expression on his face.
“And not…not to take away from your moment or anything, I promise I don’t mean to, but I’m just now realising I’ve never actually told you that…I’ve…fooled around with some guys in my time.”
Eddie felt his eyebrows shoot up his forehead but knew he wasn’t half as surprised as Buck probably thought he should be.
“During your Buck 1.0 era?” he asked tentatively.
“Uh, yeah. And—” Buck rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks reddening. “When I was younger too. My second kiss ever was with a guy called Scott McAvoy when I was 16.”
“Wow. Thanks for telling me,” Eddie echoed cheekily before nudging their shoulders together.
They shared a laugh.
And that was that. Buck knew. He knew half of his deepest secret.
Eddie felt him tense where their knees were still pressed together. Something cold trickled down his back.
“...Buck?”
“Huh?” his head shot up. “Sorry, uh…I just found this in my pocket.”
Eddie blinked as he revealed a sprig of mistletoe cradled in his palm. His heart did a somersault as the ghost of Buck’s lips lingered on his mouth.
“I uh,” Buck cleared his throat. “I think Darcy sneaked it into my coat pocket when she was helping me with my sleeve.”
Something clanged in the back of Eddie’s mind.
“Uh, actually. I think it might have been Chris.”
The clock on his mantel had never ticked so loudly.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
“Chris? How did he—the hug, he hugged me and—”
“Reverse pick-pocketed you, apparently,” Eddie chuckled, only slightly worried about his child’s admittedly impressive sleight-of-hand.
Buck shared his laugh for a second before a deep line formed between his eyebrows.
“I am sorry for springing that kiss on you, though. I know we didn’t really go over it beforehand and I think with Chris practically daring us, I just—got carried away and I didn’t think—I never think and—”
“Buck. It’s good. You’re fine. It was…nice.”
Another beat.
Two.
A slow smile spread across his face. Something between smug and coy.
“Nice, huh?”
He held up the mistletoe over their heads, mischief in his eyes. Before Eddie could react, he darted forward and smacked a wet, exaggerated kiss right on his cheek, complete with a ‘mwah’ sound and everything.
Eddie feigned annoyance, making grumbles of faux disgust and reaching up to push him off but instead kept his hand firmly pressed against his chest, feeling his heartbeat under his fingers.
“Your breath stinks,” he lied, knowing he was blushing too furiously to be taken at his word.
“Hey, you had those mushrooms too,” Buck retorted. “You and Chris looked like chipmunks who had stuffed them into your cheeks for the winter. Darcy got a picture and everything. Kat and Rosa laughed for a solid minute.”
He stared down at the sprig still in his hands, falling oddly silent.
Eddie counted the beats of his heart as waited for him to continue.
Duh dum.
Duh dum.
Duh dum.
“...Buck? You okay?”
He jumped, startled, before flashing him a half-hearted grin.
“Sorry. I’m fine. It’s just…this time of year, you know? Kat and Darcy planning a second honeymoon, Chim and Maddie getting ready for their big move, Connor and Kameron being pregnant…it just has me thinking about the future, is all. I just…I want that, Eddie. A home with a family.” Who loves me, went unsaid but not unheard.
Eddie’s heart panged in his chest. He reached down and clasped his arm.
“Buck. I know it’s not the same but you know that you already have that, right? With Chris and me? There will always be a home for you here.”
He nodded, eyes still focused on the mistletoe.
“I do know that. And I can’t tell you how much you and Chris mean to me. But what…what happens when you meet someone? A girlfriend—or a boyfriend?”
“I won’t.”
That got his attention, his eyes finally meeting his.
“What? What do you mean you—”
“Doesn’t matter. You’re my best friend. You’re Christopher’s best friend. No hypothetical boyfriend or girlfriend will ever change or come between that, okay?”
The will, Buck. Remember the will.
Those bright blue eyes scanned his face for any sign of deception. They found none.
“Okay.”
He squeezed his arm.
“We have your back and you have ours. That’s a lifetime kinda deal.”
He tried and failed to ignore how much that sounded like a vow.
A real grin finally broke out on Buck’s face.
“Even if it means me crashing on your couch until we’re 90?”
“Hey, it’s a good couch.”
“It is. I like your couch.”
“I like you on my couch.”
“What?”
Eddie shook his head, trying and failing to shake away the fog of alcohol loosening his lips.
“Nothin’. Go to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning. Thanks again for tonight.”
With that, he stood, picking up the mistletoe from where it had fallen to the floor.
“Eds…” Buck half-whispered, halting him in his tracks. “I…I like being on your couch. You and Chris…you mean everything to me. You know that right?” his voice sounded strangled in the nearly silent room.
It was then that Eddie noticed, the way he was standing and holding the plant, it was practically hovering over Buck’s head.
“I—” Eddie swallowed the lump in his own throat. “You didn’t have to do any of that tonight. The fake relationship, the dancing, the kiss, but you did it anyway. And I appreciate all of it, so much. Everything you do every day. You had my back. Just like you always do. But even if you did nothing at all, just…by being here, with us, being you, you mean everything to us too. To me. We don’t just want you around because you’re helpful or useful. We want you here because we…we love you, Evan. And you will always have a home with us.”
Jesus. Therapy makin' you a motormouth, now?
He knew he was being too honest, and repeating himself, but dammit, Buck deserved to hear it. Probably needed to hear it. And most likely hadn’t heard it from many people outside of his sister before.
Buck caught his hand, giving a gentle squeeze, apparently not able to verbalize a response.
In one hand, Eddie held mistletoe. And in the other, he held Buck.
He could do it. He could give one tiny tug with his right hand and pull himself down into his best friend’s lap, brush his lips against his and press him back into the couch, the couch that Buck had made his own so long ago. He could prove just how much he belonged here, with him, with them, as a family. They could steal each other’s breath, bite and lick and writhe…
But he wouldn’t do it.
Couldn’t.
Right?
He certainly wouldn’t risk everything they had. It was too important to him. Just because he had come out, and Buck had admitted to having fooled around with guys—it didn’t mean that, right?
“Thank you. I love you both too,” Buck finally replied after what felt like five breathless minutes of staring at one another, his tone just shy of teasing.
Something flickered across his face that had Eddie intrigued. It was pensive. As if he were trying to figure something out, but before he could ask about it, Buck continued.
“And yeah, tonight was fun. You’re a good kisser, Diaz. Even if it ‘didn’t count.’”
The spell broke.
Eddie laughed, wrenching his hand back and using it to shove him, forcing his feet away from the couch.
“You’re not so bad yourself, Buckley,” he called over his shoulder. “Go to sleep. We have pancakes to make in the morning.”
He was almost to his bedroom door when he heard his best friend pipe up again, a little more muffled this time, as if his face were buried in a pillow.
“Hey, I’ve been thinking, I’m pretty sure it’s not Izzy that Chris has a crush on.”
~*~
Eddie was at therapy with Frank today. He had joked that he planned on filling him in on all their antics at the Christmas party the other night, but the way he bit his bottom lip, made Buck sure that he wasn’t joking at all. He was probably going to do exactly that. The ruse, the interrogation from their friends. The kiss…
Buck knew he sure as hell hadn’t been able to stop thinking about any of it. The kiss, the dancing, and later, on Eddie’s couch…as he looked up at his best friend, the moon basking him in a soft glow, something bright in his eyes as he looked right back at him, sparking a treacherous flicker of hope within him.
A hope that one day, maybe Buck wouldn’t just be coming home for Chris. Or for Christmas. He would be coming home for Eddie. And for himself too. Because it was so obvious to see, now. He already had a couch, a home, a son, a family—with his best friend. His partner. Partners that had each other’s back, always had, and always would. And wasn’t that what Ravi had said about love? I mean, isn’t that what we all want in a partner? Knowing that they have your back?
Oh. It’s him. It’s Eddie.
He had been so stupid. It had been right in front of him, all this time. And he just hadn’t realised what it meant. But now, he had perfect clarity. He knew exactly why it had been so easy to play pretend, how effortless it had been to slip into the role of Eddie’s more-than-just-work partner. How nothing had to change in their behaviour to be believable. Now, he could look back on all those other times they had been mistaken for a family, and those moments where he had inexplicably found his eyes drawn to his best friend’s jaw, catching on his lips, drinking in how good he always looked and could finally admit how nice all of it felt—resting his hand on his back, on his shoulders, dancing with him, his lips on the edge of his mouth…
“Buck?”
His head snapped up, meeting Dr. Copeland’s gaze.
“You got lost in thought for a moment,” she smiled calmingly, leaning forward in her chair. “Want to talk about what’s on your mind?”
He heaved a deep, shaky breath.
“I think I’m in love with Eddie."
For my wonderful friend @itsmajel. Happy Belated Birthday xo
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smolwritingchick · 1 year ago
Text
Forced To Believe Chapter 27- Total Divas Season 1 Episode 8
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Chapter Summary: Melanie gets upset with Jon when he misses their dinner. Melanie attends Nattie and TJ's wedding
Words: 2,000+
----- 'To Melanie and Jon's hotel room on Tuesday, in the afternoon'
Melanie was doing her hair, in casual clothing, already in the bedroom and Jon walked in. 
"Hey, I was wondering if we could hang out here, alone tonight. Eat in and have a romantic dinner." Jon smiled.
"Really? Wow, that sounds awesome." Melanie beamed.
Melanie (This is really unexpected. We really haven't been on a lot of romantic dates lately because of our schedules but I'm really happy that he decided to do this for me. So, while Jon was out, doing some errands, I decided to go food shopping. Since he likes pecan pie, I wanted to buy a premade one that I could heat in the oven.)
'Later on, at 9o'clock'
Melanie sets up the table and lights a candle in the middle of the table. She then checks on the food. She made steak and also had a bottle of wine for them. After she was done preparing the food, she got her hair done and put on a nice red dress.
Minutes later, she tried to call Jon but he wouldn't answer.
"Oookaayy..." She decided to watch TV and wait for him. 
Hours later, she was on the couch waking up after falling asleep. She looked at the clock and it read 12. "Are you serious right now?"
Melanie (Wow...you can't spend one night with your girlfriend instead of hanging with the guys? I know for a fact he did. How can you forget our date? I'm like so upset right now)
She decided to put the food up and watch TV, on the couch. When it was 2'o clock, Jon walked into the hotel room. 
"What's up? Why are you looking mad?" Jon asked, taking his leather jacket off,
"Oh, I don't know...forgetting a romantic dinner which I cooked." She retorted, glaring at him.
"Shit...baby, I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry? Saying I'm sorry isn't going to fix anything!"
"Mel-­"
"How could you forget? We've both been talking about this. It was your damn idea!"
"Well, maybe I don't think I'm good enough for you." He countered.
"What? Are you serious? Are you serious?"
Melanie (Bullshit! You are not going to play the victim and play the pity game on me. That's not cool. No, don't do that. We had this talk about this before. Enough already)
"Don't try to put this on you and be the victim. Don't because it's not gonna work. Gosh, I just wish you would at least spend some time with your girlfriend. At least an hour or two. Is that too much to ask? Just us. Alone, with no interruptions, and chilling at home. You holding me and telling me you love me. Do you love me?"
"You know I do."
"Then prove it. Show me. Don't ditch me like that if you say you want to make plans with me and not show up." She stands up as he walks over to her.
"Baby­-" He reached out to grab her arm but she pushed him away.
"Do not touch me. And don't even speak to me. Please. I'm not happy." She went to the kitchen and started doing the dishes.
Melanie (I am pissed. Beyond pissed!)
"You got me waiting for you, all fucking night, but you were hanging with the guys. Are you kidding me? What was the point of you saying you wanted a romantic dinner with me?" She snapped. "I know I'm nice and all but I'm not gonna be played like that. No freaking way..." 
Jon walked behind her and held her. He rested his head on her left shoulder. "I'm sorry..."
"Sure..."
"Mel, I really am. Let me make it up to you." He started to kiss her neck.
Melanie (Really? Really!? That really got me angry...)
She pushed him away and turned around, slapping him in the face.
"What the fuck was that for?" He exclaimed, rubbing the side of his face in surprise.
"For being an asshole! Are you fucking kidding me!? You are gonna try to have makeup sex with me to get yourself off the hook? Hell to the fucking no!" She yelled as her face started to flush from anger. "I hope you aren't thinking about sleeping in bed with me tonight, cause your ass is sleeping on the couch." She walked past him and slammed the bedroom door.
Melanie (I feel so stupid...)
'On Thursday, hours before WWE Superstars'
Ariane, Eva Marie, Trinity and Melanie were chatting backstage. 
"What's up, girl? You seem pretty pissed." Trinity said to Melanie.
Melanie sighed. "Jon wanted to have a romantic dinner with me, so I was like, that'll be awesome, I'll go shopping and cook for us. I cooked all day, I was tired, wanted to relax, and was waiting for him to come home. He told me he had some errands to run and will be back soon. Come to find out, once he was done his errands, he hung out with the guys at the bar."
"What?!" Ariane exclaimed.
Trinity (That's not good.)
Ariane (Melanie has every right to be upset with him.)
"When did he come home?" Eva asked.
"2 fucking o'clock. 2 o'clock in the morning." Melanie retorted.
"Oh no, gurl, you better make him sleep on the couch or something. What did you do?" Ariane asked.
"Gave him an earful. He kept saying that he was sorry and forgot. When I was doing the dishes, he came up behind me and started kissing my neck, trying to have makeup sex. Are you fucking kidding me right now!? I slapped him in the face."
Eva Marie (I never knew Melanie could get so angry. But she has the right to be. How can a guy stand her up like that? I feel so bad for her.)
"Yes girl, don't give in to that, he needs to earn your forgiveness a different way," Ariane replied.
Trinity (I've never seen Melanie this angry off camera. She even started venting in Spanish since she was so mad. Even her face was getting red. She told us she started hanging around her father more and when he was mad, he would cuss in Spanish, so now we know where she gets her anger from)
"Gosh! Everything that guy said was bullshit!" Melanie said angrily.
'To Nattie'
Nattie (I decided to find Jon because I really don't want him and Melanie to be an unhappy couple at my wedding. Maybe Melanie is overreacting about something. So I decided to go to Jon to find out to get the man's side of the story of what might be going on between them)
"Hey, Jon." Nattie smiled as he turned around.
"Hey, what's up?"
"You and Melanie look like you have some tension. Something happen?"
"I messed up...bad...I fucked up big time..."
Nattie (Ugh...now that got me worried...)
"Melanie cooked dinner for us all day but I hung out with the guys and forgot about our date." He confessed.
"Jon! She has every right to be upset with you."
"I know..."
"You need to fix this. Like, now. You need to make it up to her in a good way."
Nattie (I really hope Jon mans up and makes sure to earn Melanie's forgiveness. Melanie is one of the nicest divas here and to see her angry and upset can be heartbreaking at times since we always see her smiling.)
'To Melanie'
Melanie calmed herself down. "Enough about me, let's just stay positive. So, what's going on with you girls?"
"I'm nervous." Eva Marie replied.
"Nervous about what? "Ariane asked.
"Tonight is the night when we find out who will be accompanying someone to the ring."
"That's exciting, now maybe it's your time to shine." 
"I agree." Melanie smiled
Mark Carrano, senior director of WWE Talent Relations, walked over to the girls. "Hello, ladies."
The divas greet him while Jojo and Nattie walk over to the gang. "Mark, are we in trouble?" Nattie asked.
"Nah. First of all, Nikki is hurt, she will be out for 6 to 12 weeks. You." He pointed to Trinity. "Who is your BFF?"
"Her." Trinity pointed to Ariane.
"Girl bye." Ariane joked as the divas laughed.
"All right, Nattie, in your corner for WWE Superstars will be...Eva." Mark informed.
The divas but Jojo cheered while Eva hugged Nattie. 
"Seriously Mark? Seriously?" Jojo asked, looking upset.
"Listen, it's not the end of the world." He said. "You are on the radar."
Eva Marie (I am seriously so excited that I get to valet Nattie because Nattie is a dope wrestler but I feel like I have to downplay my excitement because of Jojo)
Nattie and Eva Marie get ready and leave the girls with Mark. "You going to be okay girl?" Ariane asked Jojo.
"Yeah, I'm good," Jojo replied while Melanie hugged her
"You'll get your chance. All good things come to those who wait patiently." The Philly diva smiled.
"Yeah, and Jojo is the youngest out of all of us. Once we long gone, she'll still be here, kicking butt." Trinity grinned.
"I know right!" Ariane exclaimed as Jojo started to smile.
'Later at night'
Melanie (After WWE Superstars, I decided to go back to the hotel room and just relax. But when I came back to the hotel room, I saw a nice candlelight dinner. I was in awe.)
She walked into the room to see Jon in a suit. "Surprise!" he smiled.
She couldn't help but grin. "Oh my gosh..." She chuckled at the sight. There was a nice candlelight dinner in the room, and she was handed a bouquet of red roses. "Jon..."
"I know I fucked up, and I deserved the slap and the earful, but I just want you to know that I'm really sorry. So, I decided to heat up the food you made and recreate the romantic dinner. Just us tonight. No hanging out with the guys tonight. Just you and me."
"This is so awesome." She set the flowers down and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her waist and looked down at her.
"So am I forgiven?"
"Yes...you're forgiven." She kissed him
-----
'Nattie & TJ's wedding day'
Brie, Melanie, and Trinity arrive at the place and walk up the stairs. 
"Hello? Nattie?" Brie called out as she and the girls carried their suitcases. 
Nattie opened her door and let them in. "Hi!" she greeted the girls with hugs.
"You look awesome." Melanie grinned and looked at her wedding dress.
"This is unbelievable," Brie said with a smile.
"So...Jaret is coming," Nattie whispered as she shut the door.
Melanie (Really? I don't think that's a good idea. I mean, ever since the text messages, I just think it'll cause problems but it's her wedding so, she can do what she wants to do)
"Did you tell TJ?" Trinity whispered.
"No. How do I always get myself in these awkward positions?" Nattie frowned.
"I'll tell you this, if the pastor says please stand up or forever hold your peace, and he says anything, we're dropkicking him." Brie guaranteed as Trinity agreed.
"Dibs on me giving him the backfire!" Melanie raised her hand as the girls laughed
'2 hours until ceremony'
The women get ready. Melanie had her hair out with curls at the end. She wore a black dress that stopped near her knees and low black heels. 
"How come you're not wearing real heels?" Brie asked.
Melanie laughed. "I am not a high heel person. Low heels I can handle. I just don't want to break anything. You, Nattie and Brie are high heel veterans."
Melanie (So, while we all are getting ready for Nattie's wedding, we all find out that a thunderstorm is occurring outside. Lightning and thunder, are not a good mix, so the workers had to move everything inside.)
Nattie (I'm trying to fight back tears. All I wanted was a beach wedding. That's all I wanted and this day is starting to turn into the worse, like, what else can go wrong today?)
Later on, while the divas were upstairs, Melanie was downstairs, waiting for Jon. 
"Ooh, you look awesome Mel. Showing some skin." Trinity cheered. "Where's Jon?"
"He's coming, he needed to pick up his suit " Melanie trailed off as her phone rang.
"Haha, speaking of the devil." Trinity chuckled.
"Hey, you here?" She answered.
"Yeah, I'm getting soaked, can you open up the door?" Jon said on the phone.
"Yeah, see you in a few." Melanie hung up. She went to the entrance and opened the door. "Yikes, it's really raining." 
She looked at the sky. She saw Jon, in a suit, jogging up the steps. His hair and suit were a little damp from the rain. 
"Glad you made it." She wrapped her arms around his neck to kiss him.
"Get a room!" Trinity joked.
'30 Minutes Until The Wedding'
Melanie sat next to Trinity and Jon at the table. Brie and Bryan, Jey and Jon Uso also sit at the table, waiting for the wedding to start. 
TJ walked in. "Hello!"
"TJ!" Melanie grinned and kissed him on the cheek, hugging him.
Trinity (Melanie is grinning like no tomorrow. I'm happy Melanie and Jon are not fighting and there are no conflicts between them)
"Ready for the big day, brother?" Jey (Jon Uso's Brother) asked.
"So ready." TJ replied.
"You're in the back of the curtain and when that music hits, you're totally fine."
"What's up, man?" Jaret greeted as he walked up to TJ.
"Jaret, hey, how ya doing man?" TJ stood up and shook his hand.
Melanie (Oh boy)
"You must be excited, Nattie's awesome." Jaret sat next to him.
"Yeah," TJ replied.
Trinity, Brie and Melanie glanced at each other. 
"We've been talking a bit lately, she came in for a spray tan while I was working and we started talking," Jaret mentioned. Trinity, Melanie, Brie and their lovers were looking at TJ and Jaret talking. "She said that you two had some issues."
Trinity (I'm like, aw shoot, it's about to go down)
TJ and Jaret leave the room to talk privately. 
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the wedding is about to commence, if you would please take your seats, thank you." Damien Sandow announced. 
Jon Uso sat next to Trinity, who sat next to Melanie, who sat next to Jon. The band started playing as Melanie listened to the violin and viola. But no one came down the steps.
Brie (I have to admit with Jaret showing up, and the way TJ reacted, I don't know if this wedding is going to happen or not.)
Melanie and Trinity grinned when the wedding continued to happen and TJ was down the aisle.
Trinity (Woo! The wedding is still happening!)
Nattie walked down the steps with her father as everyone stood up. She walked down the aisle with Gismo in her arms.
Melanie (Nattie is so beautiful. She's smiling, she's just glowing)
Nattie (I honestly could not feel any happier. My dad in one arm, Gismo in the other, this is just a reminder of how perfect my life is.)
After TJ and Nattie said their vows, they kissed as the audience clapped and cheered.
Nattie (I cannot believe that I'm married now.)
'The Reception'
"We don't know how to dance," Nattie said as everyone laughed while watching her and TJ have their first dance. 
"I have a hurt knee, that's the excuse." TJ joked. 
Melanie smiled while Jon held her from behind while they watched them.
"All ladies on the dance floor," TJ announced
"Come on Melanie." Brie grabbed her arm and dragged her to the dance floor.
"What? I'm not interested." Melanie exclaimed.
"Oh yes, you are." she grinned.
Melanie (Catching the bouquet...Yikes, I hope I don't get attacked by heels if I slip and fall.)
Nattie threw the bouquet up for some of the women. The bouquet was near Brie but she jumped and pushed it towards Melanie, making it fall in her hands. 
Melanie's eyes widen. "Brie!"
Brie laughed and clapped. "Yay, Melanie!"
Brie (I decided to let Melanie catch the bouquet because I wanted to see her reaction and plus, I want to see Jon put the garter on her. They're cute. I think marriage is in their future.)
"Melanie catches the bouquet, yay!" Nattie cheered.
Ariane (Melanie catches the bouquet and I'm like, ooh girl, good for you, I wasn't ready for all that.)
"Can we get the garter?" Brie asked. "Let's let Jon put the garter on Melanie."
"What?" Melanie blushed. 
Brie grinned and walked Melanie to the chair. TJ took the garter off of Nattie and gave it to Jon. Jon looked at the garter before smirking at Melanie as she started to laugh nervously.
"She's blushing." Brie giggles. 
While she was seated on the chair, Jon kneeled before her legs. He grabbed one of her legs and slowly put the garter on her leg with his teeth as everyone was cheering.
"Omg!" Brie exclaimed, getting hyped with Trinity.
"That was awesome." Trinity clapped.
Brie (That was great. Go Melanie and Jon!)
Melanie (Hahaha, my face was such a tomato. I'm not surprised Jon did that, he can be a little...adventurous.)
"Now for a word from our groom," Damien said before giving the mic to TJ.
"Well, it's kind of hard to keep a surprise from Nattie since she is usually organizing everything, but I put a little something together," TJ announced as he showed a video of him and Nattie together in the WWE.
Melanie (That is so sweet.)
Nattie (TJ put together some moments that I even forgot that happen and I was just so touched)
After TJ's video, everyone started to dance and have a good time.
Nattie (At the end of the day, I am such a lucky girl, it's been such a roller coaster of a day. I couldn't imagine spending my life with anybody else than TJ. TJ is my family and he will be a part of my life forever)
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frightnightindustries · 1 year ago
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@indigo-flightly-falls
Real look inside the clubhouse
Fragment, slamming pots and pans together to the rhythm of "Give it to me, I'm worth it": I didn't get no sleep cause a' y'all! Y'all never gonna sleep cause a' me!
Absence, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down. Fragment: I actually just put the cutting board in the oven... Phantasm, visibly confused: Okay, so they decided to put the cutting board in the oven? Absence, spraying Fragment: You FUCKING DUMBASS! Fragment: Dude, I forgot- Absence: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!? Epitome: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*
Absence: I’ve organized your messages into three categories. Absence: “From Parody” Absence: “Death Threats” Absence: and “Death Threats From Parody”
Epitome: A person can really hear themselves think out here. Epitome’s mind: Did you leave the stove on? The front door unlocked!? WILL YOU DIE ALONE!? Epitome: Well, that was a mistake.
Phase: Advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd. Freak: Yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can’t just say blue because there’s more than one blue. Phase: Blue and light blue, nice try nerd.
Phase: I once tried to play a pirated copy of Garfield Kart, when Garfield jumped out of my PC! We are currently married with three beautiful children and a summer house in Lisbon.
Parody: Sometimes I like to call people by the wrong name to show them I don’t care about them. Absence: That’s brilliant. Parody: Thank you, Neurosis.
Epitome: I am going to cry. I’m going to cry until I can no longer physically cry anymore because all the water in my body is gone and I die from dehydration. Mastermind: Are you okay? Fragment: Did you actually just ask them that? Like, you need that to be answered otherwise you won’t know?
Phase: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.
Mastermind: Can I offer you a nice stick in this trying time?
Fragment, talking about Phantasm: Y’know, you never mentioned an intern. Neurosis: That’s because they’re not officially an employee, they’re unpaid. Fragment: You don’t pay them?! Neurosis: They get college credit. Fragment: Are you sure your not evil?
Epitome: Even Phantasm and I have been getting closer. The other day, they gave me half of their sandwich. Phantasm: I mistook them for a garbage can.
Neurosis: Phase and I are so close we even share a toothbrush. Phase: We what?
Neurosis: Any tips on how to make someone like me? Phantasm: Try to make them laugh all the time. Neurosis: Oh, wow! You actually help me for once, and it's even good advice! Phantasm: Yeah, the more they laugh, the more time they spend with their eyes closed, so it'd be easier.
Absence, planning a group disguise: You cannot be Blake Bortles. Mastermind: Fine! Then I’ll be Jake- Epitome, under their breath: Don’t say Jortles. Mastermind: Jortles! And I work at the molotov cocktail department.
Mastermind: My mom is calling… hi mom. Freak: Come on guys, stop. They’re trying to talk to their mom. Phantasm: *loud fake sexual noises* Parody: EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP! Absence: *is asleep* Epitome: *gets really close to the phone* Tell her I said hi.
Absence: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. Neurosis: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back... Freak: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. Mastermind: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. Phantasm: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. Parody: Mental stability, my old friend! Absence: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?
Neurosis: Hey, let’s mess with Mastermind, guys! Absence: Hey, Mastermind, your momma so fat- Mastermind: My mom committed multiple war crimes and is now locked in solitary confinement in a Bolivian prison. Phase: Well, uh- your dad- Mastermind: My father left when I was two to be captured and consequentially sacrificed by a group of feral ferrets. Absence: The fuck- Fragment: Well then... Neurosis: Stop, Fragment! Fragment: Your grandparents so- Mastermind: My grandmother floated into the sky like a balloon with too much helium when my grandfather spontaneously combusted. Mastermind: You cannot best me, mortals.
Neurosis, singing: I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need— Parody: A family. Phantasm: A better love life. Epitome: Mental stability. Absence: *clueless* Bagels?
Freak: How do I ask someone out? Mastermind: Roses are red, violets are blue, guess what, my bed has room for two. Freak: No! Phase: Twinkle twinkle little star, we can do it in a car. Freak: Stop! Neurosis: Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily I can make you scream. Freak: I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory.
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baptistsuicidewidow · 10 months ago
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Due Date
Just got done trying to dry my hair while crying and it was not working very well. But when I'm feeling extra feels I come to this blog since helps me to digest all these big feelings that I would otherwise not know what to do with.
I didn't trust the due date I was given this time by professionals since last time was off by 2 and a half weeks. I also don't know my conception date or last period date (which tells me I need to be better about tracking that sort of thing), so I went by a third guess, a third google, and a third intuition. I guessed it was a Mothers Day conception... I googled "what is the date 40 weeks after Mothers Day 2023?"... and February 20th just 'felt right'. So here we are, one day before the professional's due date, and 13 days after mine. So I am looking up good crow recipes, since my friends and I were going back and forth about this for far too long, and I am going to have a turkey sized crow to eat after all this!
My period showed up immediately after I healed from Isaiah, which I thought was weird since I thought breast feeding would prevent my cycles more so. But my body was back to cycles around when Isaiah was 2 months old. This continued until around March or April of 2023.. All of a sudden my period just stopped happening. So Jeremiah and I would get temporarily freaked until we bought a cheap dollar store pregnancy test, heaved a sigh of relief that we werent pregnant, and went on with our day. But then another month went by and still no period would happen, and each month we went through our new cycle of "Are we pregnant again?", cheap pregnancy test, sigh of relief...
So in July, there was still no period, but this time I was feeling pregnant.. I could tell something was different and this time it could be a positive test.
So we went to the dollar store and 30 minutes after coming home I approached Jeremiah... He was on the kitchen floor doing something or fixing something... I forget what he was working on. But I handed him the test, knowing he didnt know how to read it. And then I handed him the instructions on the kit... And waited. After a couple moments studying these items, he heaved a sigh of relief and said, "So its negative right?" to which I said "Is it? Maybe look again Jeremiah"... He looked again and still thought it was a negative test. So I had to turn on the better light in the room and show him the faint line that he wasnt seeing.
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Heres the test and I had to edit the contrast settings so the line was clearly visible...
Anyway, Jeremiah didnt want to believe me.. Kept saying I was seeing things,... I had to remind him of our conversation with one of the ladies at church... The first time we got pregnant we weren't sure if we could trust Isaiah's test/we thought we had to go to a doctor to verify for sure, but she kept attesting (ha! test! attest! get it?) that if the test was positive it was a positive. The next week we saw her she had brought in all 8 of her children's positive pregnancy tests, all varying different degrees of boldness of lines,-some were so faint I was shocked.
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This pink test was Isaiah's test.. and as you can see Isaiah's line was bold as can be. Plus we knew the conception date since we were using a fertility tracker and really hoping to get pregnant.
So it took a couple days of us discussing for him to accept that there were two lines he was looking at. I think he was under the impression that a really faint line wasnt a positive, but I had to let him know that the test only shows a line if the growth hormone is present, and there wouldnt be any type of line if I wasnt pregnant. Growth hormone=pregnant.
So when his family came to celebrate Isaiah's first birthday on August 3rd, we wanted to share the news with them after Isaiah's festivities were over.
It was really funny, for Isaiah's reveal we were trying to put a "bun in the oven", but apparently Jeremiah's parents were using the oven at the time and so we didnt really have a recourse other than dropping hints. (I was wearing a maternity "I got you babe" shirt, plus we were saying how I shouldnt have caffeine all this, when Ruth and Sarah started screaming when they finally realized what we were getting at/it was hilarious)
This time we were enjoying the scenery in Peoria when suddenly I had to go to the bathroom really badly.. Which was a bit of a bummer since we hadnt been there long/ I think we wouldve stayed another half hour if given the opportunity. So we all had to load back into the cars and rush home. Yet I knew this also was my chance to get a bun in the oven this time.
So Jeremiah and I schemed that he would open the garage door and let me run inside (since I really did have to go use the restroom), and then I could set up the bun in the oven.
I think on someone else's phone they got a picture of the 'bun in the oven'. There was all this meat in these large disposable trays that the Joldes family had cooked that was in the oven, so I took out the meat and set that on our washer in the laundry room, and I put a figurine of a bunny (Thumper from Bambi) in an extra matching tray, with some other things weighing it down. I then covered the tray to match what the meat looked like. And it wasn't long until someone wanted to nibble on some meat (we would usually graze all day snacking on the tastiness), and they couldn't find any!
The lack of meat in the oven was quickly becoming an uproar, so I rushed to go get my "Sorry I lied, we actually are pregnant" card for Ruth, since she had mentioned something very slightly and I felt bad for misleading her... and I held onto it until the scene played out. The family was searching for the meat, while Jeremiah kept saying over and over very loudly, "WHY IS THERE A BUNNY IN THE OVEN",.. the whole thing was sooo funny! This was followed by screaming and eventually Tata came into the kitchen from what he thought was a good chance to get in a nap in the bedroom. There were hugs and tears, and Tata started with his usual "I knew she was pregnant" speech like last time. It was overall a very heartwarming moment.
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Revisiting these memories have made me feel much better.
A part of me doesnt want to continue to blog. But a part of me feels like I must. As a woman who has been nesting full time, I am looking for anything that might be preventing the baby from being born to do.. My thoughts very much these days are, "maybe he doesnt want to come until I finish with all the laundry... and when I am done with all the chores my body will signal to the baby that the coast is clear, and labor will commence. "
Truly waiting on a baby to come is a bit crazy-making.
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So now for the sad part of this post... other than the obvious... Jeremiah, and his whole family have vanished.
Other than that, Isaiah and I got 'into town' earlier than planned since I was having contractions for hours on Friday, Feb 23rd, only for them to cease after my neighbor came to the house (its truly awkward this guy was making me uncomfortable since he had been trying to let me know he's romantically interested in me, and I have been trying to let him know that I am sad about my husband please stop pursuing me), and the people I live with announced he was going to be the one to drive me 2 hours away-not them as planned. Contractions stopped, but my midwife suggested I get some sleep and drive myself when I was able.
It was actually fortunate that everything stopped since my car started shaking when I got on the road/ I pulled into a shop with the highest google review rating and learned my caliber was stuck causing my brand new tire to smoke. So they needed to change my brand new passenger brake, rotor, and caliber before they would deem me as safe to go anywhere. (I just got new tires, new brakes, fixed the front of the car, I have been NESTING and getting done with all the things!)
When I got here I pushed myself to get the car unloaded and get the house arranged since I was thinking the baby could come at any moment/that he was just waiting for me to get settled. People were texting me everyday for updates and here we are, a week later and zero more contractions.
So I drove up to Walmart to try to return an item I bought from their website (turns out some of the items are non-refundable if they are listed by a reseller/buyer beware-just cuz you're on Walmart's site doesn't mean it abides by Walmart's return policy). Now I am officially done with anything other than regular chores to do. I've written a will, set up life insurance, notarized the will, arranged for the boys' care if anything should happen to me, the bunnies are at my friend's rabbitry, taxes are filed, EVERYTHING has been done.
On the way back from Walmart I was flipping through cds in the car to listen to.. Recently I have been listening to a lot of my 17-21 year old Christian influences (which were few), and I finally got tired of listening to the Danielson Famile's Trying Hartz album, which is a feat in itself, since its so fun and random. I stumbled upon Daniel si Marcel's cd that I havent been listening to and thought it was good to pop that in, since it had made me so happy to hear before.. It brought up good memories with Jeremiah. And the baby needs oxytocin for contractions to get going so I thought it was worth the try.
Much to my surprise, this cd which was such a source of happiness before was starting to make me more and more sad. after about 15 minutes unbearably so. Before the cd had given me the feeling that Jeremiah was close by, and now its just alarmingly apparent he isnt close by. I cant stop thinking about Isaiahs birth, and how much of a help Jeremiah was during that. It was our marriage's mountaintop moment. I was having contractions for a few days, and in the last few hours Jeremiah really helped me carry through. I remember getting dizzy from the lights and the steam from the pool, and they adjusted the lighting, but Jeremiah kept asking me to lock my eyes with his so he could help me breathe through (I have a natural tendency to hold my breath). All I remember are his big beautiful blue eyes and his deep calm voice helping me through the impossible part of the labor. And after a couple more positions Isaiah was here in this world.
After my first checkup with the midwife back in September, she sent some pictures I had never seen before of this moment and I cried immediately since this was the memory that I most cherished of Jeremiah.
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Tears again.
these moments were all before his confusion... before our discord... before his loss of self-control... before the bad times. We were still a team.
I'm trying to imagine what this birth will be like, in a new space and without Jeremiah.. We are in a beautiful cottage that has been designed to look like the 1940s, with pastel colors, old books, hymns framed, and pastoral paintings on the walls.
Plus there will be no Jeremiah, and a little Isaiah there. Some have said that hopefully Isaiah can sleep through the birth, which would be very nice. A very sweet older widow woman has offered to occupy Isaiah if he's awake during the birth, which was a relief since I've seen her with him before and they had fun together while we were packing up the house in Peoria.
I have been working on my playlist, since it was a huge help during Isaiah's birth... I am still going through it with a fine tooth comb-the last thing I need is something to be "off", or "throw me off", since it's hard not to feel like I will be going into this whole birth a little "off" already, as Job's dad wont be there physically.
Speaking of, I found an interesting fact about the name "Job".. The true meaning is up for debate, but I did find this one definition of Job that struck a chord within me:
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So whether it means NO FATHER, or WHERE IS MY FATHER or HE WILL FATHERIZE it all seems very fitting. After Jeremiah died it was an automatic gut choice to pick the name "Job". I pray Job will look to God as his Father, and ultimately come to terms with the bittersweetness of who exactly his own biological father was ...with the help of a very firm Biblical worldview
With the baby taking his time to arrive, it's given me more time to dwell on things, and come to terms emotionally with where I am in my life and with this birth. I have been blocking out much of the pain to survive and put one foot in front of the other to get ready for this moment... Now I am here and I'm out of daily distractions, and yet its still hard to focus on the pain that I'm feeling from the loss of my best friend.
A couple verses come to mind while I try to sort out my feelings:
Isaiah 40:11; "He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young."
Matthew 5:8; 8 "Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God."
James 4:8; "Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded."
Hebrews 12:1-2; "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,  Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God."
Hebrews 12:14-15; "Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled"
These verses to say, God will lead me gently through this birth... and that I might not be able to see Jeremiah's eyes, but maybe if I can clean out my heart I can see God,... and although he wont be with us physically, it is quite possible Jeremiah is compassed about us, as a cloudy witness to cheer us on to finish this race.
Sorry I don't know how to properly give a well worded ending for this post, as I am left with an ellipsis myself, ...perpetual thought bubbles floating over my head during this time..
dot dot dot...
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ltadoriyuujl · 7 months ago
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annotation time!
Sure, he doesn’t mind sweat but it’s her job to take note of wet things and he hates just how much it puts him at her mercy.
she's got him under a microscope and he's the world's most unwilling experiment sigh real romance
spitting out thirty-some balloons and a voice like high tide.
this is such a fun descriptor I'm stealing it asap
It’s gotta be on purpose, little things he knows she could fix but leave just to make him insane. A pencil with squeaky lead, the half dead hem of her uniform skirt– knocking a water glass over shared notes and leaving the paper dry but misshapen when her quirk sucks it all out again.
she's such a menace its so fun
He stares ahead and has entirely forgotten what he’s doing in the hallway besides bracing for a fist fight or doing his best to keep his head above her spicy summer perfume.
the established detail of katsuki having a journal is so real to me bc this is exactly the kinda stuff he would notice, try not to think about, and then think wayyy too hard about. anika changed her lip gloss shade today i hope she chokes on it YOU'RE OBSESSED
“You see my catch today?”
she loves to corner the market on his attention and i fear she's got him hook line and sinker
He never considered how it might feel to have the life pulled from his pores, but her quirk makes it easy and the second she shows up he starts overheating.
opposites attract but in the sense that they could easily be narrative foils
A single afternoon jump from twelve to seven should make #3 Katsuki shudder but he’d have to be brain dead to let his heart beat that fast in this heat.
there's something to be said about the strength of his self-control and how she still manages to test the limits of it
He can’t get hotter than white fire and he could never be more destructive than her, so what could possibly go wrong in a firing oven?
they enable each other they neutralize each other they match each others freak ad infinitum
back in her perfume, back caught in a trap, looking, watching the shapes her eyebrows can make when she isn’t glaring—
this is what i'm talking about HE'S A NOTICER HE SEES EVERYTHING. half the time its really to his own detriment poor guy
“Bombsquad’s here.”
this was literally so funny and so apt she knows how to defuse him but she's fascinated by the aesthetics of his explosion
She lets Mina pull her in by the shoulder while she fills a smitten Kirishima in on details from her sidekick gig and an apparently psychic new neighbor.
KIRIMINA CRUMBS RAHHHH
so much so he splashed the blond with freshly washed hands and got kicked into the fridge.
nooo izu's catching strays...
“You know,” she coos and breaks the seal on crisp frozen air, “When a puppy’s too aggressive you’re supposed to play with their paws.” “You fucking drunk?”
the fact that he didn't even throw out warning sparks here...real love
They can’t let guests in, can’t check their phones, can’t mix a decent drink or queue any good music— Why’d Mina throw this party anyway? Graduation was ages ago. Why did she need balloons twenty minutes before this was all supposed to start? Katsuki simmers beside her, resting his hips on the rounded edge of the counter.
it's all coming together....
His waist is so narrow compared to his shoulders that the hem of his shirt hangs slightly over his jeans, a black belt hugging milk skin in Mina’s obnoxious colored strip lights.
hes so sharp and triangular in every possible way i'm crying
“Not starving like a dog you fuck, starving like the ocean. You’re breathing all my goddamned air so go back to your wasted friends.”
this line made me want to drop to my knees at 8 in the morning. guy who's only ever read "a hymn to black water" voice: wow getting a lot of ahtbw vibes here
Katsuki’s asahi sits four good steps behind him for how far he’s leaned into his frustration and Anika’s legs part to accommodate him at the sticky lip of the counter.
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that is all.
Finals and a nasty burglary at their internship agency. The last two awake in a 3A study session and the first awake on the last day of school. Catching the sunrise, they’d both lied.
in another, scarier universe they're the worlds most intense situationship thank god its not this one though
Anika was not built to treat him gently.
It hurts when she wants it to, when the sweat leaves too quickly or explodes while she’s stealing it. She can be gentle. She is gentle with him, the water fell off of his knuckles as if he wanted it to and floats in pools like the tide on her palm.
THE CONTRAST THE PARALLELS I'M CRAWLING ON THE WALLSSS
Doing a favor for a friend, huh? Anika slips off the counter when she understands, finally understands the whole weird evening. Shitty margaritas keep her from exploding and in fact help her reach out for a rapidly escaping Dynamight.
THE DOTS THEY'VE CONNECTED
From another party, another planet, Katsuki bobs under her spice just once, glaring—
Suddenly the apartment is infinitely larger than it should be, stretching and winding with two bad tempers at one end and the rest of their old classmates ogling at the other,
“Hey,” Anika whispers because she knows if it’s anyone, he can hear her through white noise, even tossing on a jacket and kicking on his shoes.
they're literally the only two people in the whole world everyone else is just fluff and dressing. my favorite binary stars
“Seven minutes!” someone hollers from the living room and then wheezes from a blow to the head.
ten bucks this was denki
“Scared she’s gonna steal his secrets or sumthin and take his precious ranking.” There are some grumbles, nods, and Shinsou snorts and ducks his head back out. Right, suicide.
peer pressure is a crazy thing yall stay safe
He’s a dick but he’s not belligerent, and more than anything he’s made to be a hero. He made himself to save people, his parents made him to love him and his friends love to have him. Anika loves to have him.
YESSSS THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. the love makes the bickering really mean something its a crucial ingredient
He sighs too, and dips too far down for her to stop him, eyes closed, to brush his lips over hers.
bro folded in .2 seconds he's so whipped its actually crazy
His exhale tastes like hops, warm oats in the second Anika gives herself to think before she raises a startled hand and swings, claps it perfect center, into Katsuki’s cheek.
this bit genuinely made me snort on the bus
“You— no, explain myself!” Seven minutes is an awfully long time Anika stares, fingers to her lips.
i imagine during this whole exchange everyone outside is just turning their heads back and forth like it's a tennis volley
“I’m not sorry I kissed you, I’m not sorry we’re fighting—” Her freckles shift with her cheeks and she wets her lips, “It’s hard unless we’re fighting, huh?” “I like fighting with you,” he bites, hint of a smile, like he couldn’t possibly get the thought out fast enough.
asshole4asshole. real love <3
Katsuki did his homework in the common room on nights Anika made dinner. He didn’t say anything when she clipped her hair short, though she only got compliments if he was somewhere in the room. He was always in the room, the first hero to respond to a call for backup, the last person home after a drunk night out, grumpy but inevitably the one you know will answer a text when someone can’t walk on their own.
IT'S ABOUT THE QUALITY TIME THE SHARED SPACE. KNOWING WHO'S WAITING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR. BINARY STARS I TELL YOU
Anika wraps her fingers in his tshirt to stay standing, suckling, kneading, begging for him to lose slightly more composure and make some noise for her. A tongue across his teeth gets her what she wants.
he can't refuse her anything real men are so back
He holds his weight as much off of her as he can in the tight space and the subtlety of his strength gets steam trickling from her ears.
she wants to be thrown over his shoulder so bad...
He doesn’t need to see to know what kind of face she’s making as she takes his fingers in her mouth and the thought stalls him just long enough— wet, swirling— to— tight— whimper.
you can actually see him planning their honeymoon itinerary in this scene if you look closely
How quickly would her breasts warm in his fingers? How quickly would she—
this the kinda lust they were talking about in the bible
“Alright, jesus!” Mina’s pop pink voice shrills in a sudden wash of light and fresh air and her kitchen monsters startle on the floor. “Party foul! No fucking in the closet.”
another part that made wheeze out loud
Black charcoal is smudged on all fours walls, on every clean sheet on the shelf, drips in streaks and fingerprints over the bruises at both of their throats and generally illustrates the whole incriminating scene.
i felt so bad for mina at this part...her clean sheets...half their next paychecks have to go to her dry cleaning bill
Katsuki blinks up. Anika tightens her lips and Shinsou pretends not to watch through the window but smiles nonetheless in a puff of smoke on the fire escape.
AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER YIPPEEEEE
once again pomme my love you have outdone yourself and my gratitude knows no bounds
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drive me like a madness, to the sea
bkg x water quirk!oc
"Fluorescent lights, hallway must, caramel and big brown eyes, melting together and at this rate forever waiting on the wrong side of a the party."
this piece was sponsored by the inimitable @ltadoriyuujl for the @ficsforgaza initiative! thank you sm for trusting me with your lovely Anika and for all your patience and guidance. cw seven min/heaven shenanigans including makeout + heavy petting, clothed grinding, manhandling, quirk use, brief description of alcohol use, aggressive banter, and implied audience. stevie nicks. one (1) miserable stint in a sweaty hallway and approximately thirty balloons. 5.9k
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Sometimes just touching pages in a book, leafing through chapters, is too much. Damp hands on dry paper– they jump and rub, grate like running fingers between bricks to test how smooth they'll get. Katsuki regrets the paper gift bag he picked, slowly deteriorating in his fist and tries not to linger on the drag of class textbooks or crisp study planners as he pulls a little moleskine from his pocket.
Jun 9
Mina’s, 9pm.
6-1-63-802.
He clamps the A5 shut with his free hand and shoves it back into the depths of the hoodie he shouldn’t have worn. It’s the 1st. It’s 9:30, apartment 802. Why the fuck isn’t anyone answering the door?
The celebration in Mina’s new place thumps like caught fish and Katsuki tries to find new things to notice about the sweltering hallway, no windows, cobwebs under sprinklers, someone rattling around in the elevator a few stories down, and the errant blinking of a security camera, instead of blasting the door off its hinges. He shakes a stray blond strand from the sweat on his forehead and prays Mina can at least afford a box fan after scrounging the last few cents of the security deposit for this place from their penniless friends.
Katsuki doesn’t mind being sweaty. He doesn’t love being stranded in stuffy hallways, but he doesn’t hate the noise at these things; he mostly just hates the laundryproof reek of liquor and cigs but he’s not tapping holes in carpet for fun. Soon a distant dam will break and the floodwater hero he has no chance of outswimming will be perched on the opposite end of a loveseat six asses over capacity. She’ll be here, Anika, inevitable, thunderstorm. Sure, he doesn’t mind sweat but it’s her job to take note of wet things and he hates just how much it puts him at her mercy.
Before he can fish out his phone again to call someone inside, a bell kills the peace of the hallway and the muffled tumult of the elevator shaft bursts when its doors ding first and open, spitting out thirty-some balloons and a voice like high tide.
“Dynamight?”
He doesn’t have to turn around to know it’s her but a choir of two dozen rubbing, kissing, squeaking rubber hellions makes the hair on his arms stand up so fast that he instinctively spins to bear his teeth to it.
“What the fuck?”
Anika, as if summoned by his own dread, struggles through the elevator frame and down the hall in the same black jeans she’s worn all spring and a too-big leather jacket that does nothing to help her manage her cargo. She shakes her head in an attempt to calm some static, “Fuck what? These?” and tips up to the balloons with her chin. 
“How are you showing up late with the decorations?”
“You’re just as late as I am.” Anika grunts, shrugging a purse back up her shoulder and dragging her supplies towards the door.
“Sans party essentials.”
She doesn't look like she just got off overtime but contrary to popular belief Katsuki doesn’t have the group chat muted: picking up a shift that afternoon but I’ll be there! Blah, blah. Plus, he knows that charcoal residue. She plays it off as eyeliner when she doesn’t have time to wash her face well in the agency showers. It’s gotta be on purpose, little things he knows she could fix but leave just to make him insane. A pencil with squeaky lead, the half dead hem of her uniform skirt– knocking a water glass over shared notes and leaving the paper dry but misshapen when her quirk sucks it all out again.
Anika doesn’t look like a tsunami, ambling closer in the tight space with a litany of balloons in tow and increasingly irritated he isn’t coming to meet her. She doesn’t look like the hero that apprehended a villain with their tears this afternoon and she certainly doesn’t look like a girl whose slender hands have ever knocked him unconscious. She’s grinning, practically growling through her latex bouquet when she finally manages the journey to Mina’s door and lets her bag drop off her shoulder to the doormat. She rolls her head towards him theatrically, “my hero.”
“Spare me,” Katsuki grimaces. He stares ahead and has entirely forgotten what he’s doing in the hallway besides bracing for a fist fight or doing his best to keep his head above her spicy summer perfume.
“You see my catch today?”
He considers and then grunts, fingering the binding on his notebook to give the hand in his pocket something to do instead of, again, breaking and entering. He did. Balloon static pours off Anika’s chest in waves and the cloy of it at the fuzz on his cheek almost makes him turn to face her. Like the hallway couldn’t get any stuffier. Earth would be too cramped if they were the last things on it.
“That why you’re late?”
She at least has the courtesy in this hell hall to push her ballooned fist away before leaning in close like she might have a secret to tell, “Gimme some credit Dynamight,” and, bad omen, he can taste the smile in her voice before he hears it, “or am I making you nervous?”
Everyday is the day that he met her, transfer student, water quirk, a poor matchup in his sparring class– every conversation or study session or close proximity since that day, has been the sudden agony of his defense peeled off of him like a skinned animal. He never considered how it might feel to have the life pulled from his pores, but her quirk makes it easy and the second she shows up he starts overheating. Is it that obvious? What else can he do but tilt his chin down to finally spare her a glance after so many weeks apart?
It’s a mess. Just a painters wash of freckles on cider brown cheeks and mischief close enough to bite. Anika was not built to treat him gently. Her hair, short, spikes like his with static and tickles the sleeve of his jacket as she waits for him to finally admit that she’s right. She presses closer, predator, purring on his shoulder. Fluorescent lights, hallway must, caramel and big brown eyes, melting together and at this rate forever waiting on the wrong side of a the party.
He rolls his eyes but doesn’t turn away and hopes a few of his teeth are still bared, “What am I supposed to be nervous about, huh? Your nine-week plateau at #12?”
But Anika is not like him. For all her attitude she doesn’t explode off the battlefield and he knows this won’t be the thing that suddenly makes her do anything besides draw the damp off her brow with the trace of a fingernail. She leans away, jostling giggling balloons, “That’s number seven to you.”
A single afternoon jump from twelve to seven should make #3 Katsuki shudder but he’d have to be brain dead to let his heart beat that fast in this heat. Anika, hurricane, bends to collect her purse and knocks on Mina’s door as she rises,
“And what’s in your bag?—or—wait,” and grins. She bats her black lashes up, up, sweat pearling at her temples and in wild baby hairs, “about-to-be-clutch. I know you’re melting that dumb paper handle.”
The inside of kiln is actually a very nice place to be, he concedes. It’s a place Katsuki knows he can’t truly destroy anything. He can’t get hotter than white fire and he could never be more destructive than her, so what could possibly go wrong in a firing oven? What could he do, explode? Cure a porcelain vase or two? She’ll flood the whole hallway, she’ll drown all the guests, there’s nothing he could do to break her. He is melting the paper handles. What here makes him angrier, the fact that she’s right or that he’s smirking too? Albeit, over a frown.
“Well?”
He growls something in response, not important. A curled lip suits her, cocky like a feral cat. His friends get crinkle-eyed smiles and pats on the shoulder. They got to link arms with her on the way to class and they get to hold her hands during hospital stays where she coos and kisses them better. Katsuki gets this, an exclusively mischievous shimmer like glass on the backs of her dark eyes. She’s swimming in that stupid leather jacket. “Well what.”
“Were you gonna knock or are we starting a rival party in the hallway?” Anika adjusts grips on her purse and decorations and wipes at her forehead. Where her fingers graze, sweat pills and pulls gently behind them off of her skin and patters to the floor where she directs it, but the balloons don’t love being jostled and Katsuki continues to hate the sounds they make.
He winces, “already tried.”
“And?”
“Music’s too loud.”
“Perfect, I’ll start setting up out here.”
“I sent a text,” he rolls his eyes and again lets the silence of the hallway descend as he rotates rankings and pearls in his mind.
“What’s wrong with you today?”
What’s wrong with him today. Hm. What? “Eh?” Katsuki blinks himself back into the hallway, back beside her and two dozen balloons, back in her perfume, back caught in a trap, looking, watching the shapes her eyebrows can make when she isn’t glaring—
Anika frowns, “you’re being a freak.”
“Fuck off.”
“Fuck you, what’s your problem? You’re extra quiet, get hurt on patrol?”
It’s time for this door to lose some hinges. Katsuki lets his phone drop back into the soup of his pocket lest it catches a loose spark and leans back, “I’m fucking tired— unlike the rest of you shits, I catch more than one villain a day.”
But it’s not enough, it’s not thrilling, he’s no longer interesting and Anika tucks a charged piece of hair as far behind her ear as it’ll reach before turning away. She knocks again and the vibrations of Mina’s party fill the silence.
“Whatever.”
The balloons are no longer charming and Katsuki’s losing his grip on his bag. He’s drowning, side by side and not trying to tread in the miserable hallway beside her.
Anika pinches her purse on her shoulder with her chin and fishes her phone from its depths while droplets of sweat pluck themselves from her skin to fall in a pretty ring around her. Irritated or glowing with joy, Anika always looks the same. Face of a hero, Katsuki supposes, even stranded in his company. She concentrates constantly, more with the bridge of her nose than anything else, crinkled asymmetrically between her eyes. She watches wet things and she is never wrong.
“Fucking Hanta—” she growls and pulls her phone away from her cheek to dial another number. “If you don’t—” But she doesn’t get to finish.
Katsuki’s hand jumps damp from his pocket and flies for red balloon strings as he turns. Anika startles, propelling her balloons even faster towards the spiked sprinklers above, half dropping her phone, and fully dropping the the sweat from her brow into an eye. The first pop is horrid in the silence. Like Katsuki’s heart could beat any faster. He jerks the bundle of strings down from the stucco ceiling and flies so much closer to her than he meant to, faces mirrored in sickly light— pop! The second comes quickly, worse, but not so much worse than the third— Pop pop! Four more bursts rattle the sticky hallway and Katsuki winces every time, but Anika only stares, one hand on her eye and the other still holding an ever-wilting and only partially floating bouquet, through the noise above them.
Mina’s door soars open, purple lights, music, burnt pizza, and he and Anika both turn, tucked into one another. Her hunched and biting back laughter and Katsuki grimacing, mid lunge for party decorations.
Kaminari grins as Katsuki’s bag fails— rips right off its soaked handle, plops to floor— and leans against the door he opened.
“Bombsquad’s here.”
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Katsuki perches at the edge of the kitchen only just barely still in Anika’s field of vision. He’s miserable, obviously, and nursing his headache with a beer.
“Drinking it would help more.”
He glares before the words even leave her mouth, to his group of friends and Anika perched among them, sprawled out on Mina’s unfurnished floor. He grips the asahi pressed to his forehead a little too hard and its uncracked tab wheezes with pressure. He’s already finished two. Anika knows better than anyone what a lightweight he is and how much he hates it— how much he hates a lot of things these days.
Mina, Sero, Kirishima, Uraraka, Momo, Kaminari and some kids from old class-B cluster in the living room where a sofa should go and more importantly, in the crosswind between two windows. There’s a fire escape Katsuki keeps eyeing from his storm cloud, but Shinsou’s been out there smoking with half-n-half for the past hour. Drinks splash, groups laugh, and music floods the little one-bedroom in waves from genkan to linen closet. Anika slipped her phone in the aux line up when her friends finally pulled themselves away from go-fish long enough to let her and Katsuki in. It’s been a little less Party Rock Anthem On Repeat and slightly more Fleetwood Mac’s Greatest Hits since. Smells like school. She lets Mina pull her in by the shoulder while she fills a smitten Kirishima in on details from her sidekick gig and an apparently psychic new neighbor.
Parties after work are like falling asleep in her parents’ backseat. The white noise of people she loves, though, there are fewer mcguyvered margaritas on family roadtrips. “Be right back,” Anika smiles into her friend's ear and kisses her cheek before rising on a mission for ice. Everyone’s distracted today. Maybe it’s the heat.
Katsuki growls at anyone who walks past and almost gave Deku a heart attack when he came out of the bathroom, so much so he splashed the blond with freshly washed hands and got kicked into the fridge.
“Can I reach for the freezer or am I gonna get a black eye?”
“Try me.”
Katsuki doesn’t crack as she approaches, but still moves to let her close. 
“You know,” she coos and breaks the seal on crisp frozen air, “When a puppy’s too aggressive you’re supposed to play with their paws.”
“You fucking drunk?”
Anika smiles into the artificial breeze and directs six ice cubes out of their tray with a finger. Even Dynamight, elven in his rage, can’t be bothered to quip or fight today. Can’t even be bothered to go home. What planet did everyone ship off to without her? They can’t let guests in, can’t check their phones, can’t mix a decent drink or queue any good music— Why’d Mina throw this party anyway? Graduation was ages ago. Why did she need balloons twenty minutes before this was all supposed to start? Katsuki simmers beside her, resting his hips on the rounded edge of the counter.
“You feeling particularly territorial?” She drags an ice cube over the back of his hand as she closes the door and ducks slightly to avoid recoil. His forehead beer shrieks with more pressure but neither ice nor punches fly.
“M’not your dog.”
“Not with that attitude you’re not.” She plucks a floater from the counter and dumps it in the sink behind them. He’s got no bark today, nothing’s made him bite.
Katsuki glares over his shoulder into the small sea of people chattering and setting games up on the floor. He glows. Fairy lights fizzle at the base of his neck where sweat stains the ripple of back muscles and his cotton t-shirt. Every part of him is heavy and polished. He is intentional even with his back turned. A skull hoodie hangs in the entryway and Anika can pick out his shoes from thirty others because of how particularly he lays them together. She lifts her hips over the counter to sit. He’ll let her closer. He always does even if only to get in striking range.
“You’re soaked, short-fuse.”
“First day with eyes?”
Can he feel her eyes tracing his throat? His waist is so narrow compared to his shoulders that the hem of his shirt hangs slightly over his jeans, a black belt hugging milk skin in Mina’s obnoxious colored strip lights. Katsuki reeks of caramel. He finally turns back around. “Don’t look at me like that.”
Anika pretends like she hasn’t been watching and flicks the tap water on to fill her cup, “Like what?”
“Like you’re starving. I’m not in the mood.”
“You’re fucking delusional,” she huffs, nursing water, “You’re the mutt here not me. And I’ve been eating, unlike someone whose too focused on looking cool to join the goddamned party.”
“Not in the mood.”
“When are you ever.”
Katsuki’s beer finally cracks when he drops it on the counter. The two heroes hiss without a/c in an apartment they don’t realize is watching them. Always a fist fight, he is always just one wrong look away from snapping or bursting but never storming away and today is no different even if he tries to feign disinterest. He can’t pretend forever in their kiln for two. She’ll wash away the clay.
“Not starving like a dog you fuck, starving like the ocean. You’re breathing all my goddamned air so go back to your wasted friends.”
“I’m keeping one company right now.”
His jaw puffs as he grinds his teeth, “Just leave me alone.”
“You’re avoiding me.”
“Bump up a few ranks and suddenly you think you’re the people’s fucking princess—”
“Oi—”
“—you’re not the center of the universe tsunami.”
“Why’d you even come if you’re just gonna sulk in here away from everyone?”
“I’m doing an infinitely shittier and shittier friend a fucking favor being here and putting up with interrogation practice from the worst bad cop in the country wasn’t part of our agreement.”
Katsuki’s asahi sits four good steps behind him for how far he’s leaned into his frustration and Anika’s legs part to accommodate him at the sticky lip of the counter. His white knuckles go pink. It’s been two weeks since she’s seen him outside of a television screen and nine since they’ve been alone. Finals and a nasty burglary at their internship agency. The last two awake in a 3A study session and the first awake on the last day of school. Catching the sunrise, they’d both lied.
“You’re beating the shit out of anyone that comes into the kitchen, just go home if you hate it here so badly.”
“I can think of something,” he growls, closer, “that’ll make me hate it less.”
“m’not letting you kick Deku again.”`
He stops short of shouting but it’s too late to hide from her now. He forgot he was trying. “You got your ice now git, back out to sea or wherever the fuck you stir shit for a living.” Stevie fucking Nicks moans somewhere in the thrum of their friends and their friends and those friends’ terrible mixology skills as clear liquor stings every nose in the room and both of the kitchen monsters pretend like their ears aren’t hot with drink. From another party, another planet, Katsuki bobs under her spice just once, glaring— how could he not, she’s one breath away pressed back into the counter between his arms and curling her own fingers over his without looking away.
“Still soaked,” Anika hisses and a door slams somewhere as Katsuki snatches her wrist with Dynamight strength to keep her quirk from killing him.
Sparring with her is suicidal, the only way to win is in close quarters after Katsuki has enough ammunition hidden to hold her tight and detonate. He’s knocked them both unconscious fourteen times. She’s won conscious twice and tonight might make three because Anika’s grin explodes cheshire with her back on kitchen tiles and a dripping hand crushed at the wrist.
It hurts when she wants it to, when the sweat leaves too quickly or explodes while she’s stealing it. She can be gentle. She is gentle with him, the water fell off of his knuckles as if he wanted it to and floats in pools like the tide on her palm.
“Have it back,” she purrs and before she can flex her fingers, before Katsuki can lunge, someone whistles from the living room.
“You’re up, bombsquad.”
Suddenly the apartment is infinitely larger than it should be, stretching and winding with two bad tempers at one end and the rest of their old classmates ogling at the other, fingers on their noses. Shinsou pokes a head through the window and all the sweat drops from Anika’s hand to the floor.
The linen closet, the walk-in beside the bedroom door, hangs open in white light with Momo and Jiro scurrying out to much fanfare. Uraraka must have been the one who slammed the door open because she stands beside it now bashfully checking the wall behind it for holes.
“Nose went, sorry guys.”
Katsuki backs off before Anika can kick him and more quickly than he’s moved all night, reaches for his hoodie.
“Not so fast Kats!” Kirishima grins. He’s humoring Kaminari’s burnt pizza with one hand and rubbing his nose with the other on a makeshift cardboard stool beside the window. Doing a favor for a friend, huh? Anika slips off the counter when she understands, finally understands the whole weird evening. Shitty margaritas keep her from exploding and in fact help her reach out for a rapidly escaping Dynamight. “Katsuki!” Kirishima whines again, “Please!”
“I told you he wouldn’t!”
“Leave them alone,” Momo tries to soothe but Jiro covers her mouth and kisses the back of her palm.
“Hey,” Anika whispers because she knows if it’s anyone, he can hear her through white noise, even tossing on a jacket and kicking on his shoes. The crowd boos and she presses closer “Katsuki.”
“Fuck off! M’not playing juvenile drinking games.”
“Thought you weren’t drunk,” she pushes just a little too far and resists flinching when the hero jolts back around, crackling, snarling. Her hand lands on his chest instead of an arm when he pressed in and the force pushes her back.
“You knew. Fuck ev—!”
“I didn’t Kats—“
“Going home.”
“I’m—” she doesn’t want that, “I shouldn’t have teased—” and grips the fabric over his heart just a little bit tighter so he won’t leave without a fight. “It was too much. Can I just talk to you for a minute?”
“Seven minutes!” someone hollers from the living room and then wheezes from a blow to the head.
“Whatever, can we just talk for seven minutes? God knows when I'll see you after tonight.”
Katsuki’s frozen mid-hoodie to glare, hunched; damp little hands on his chest where he can’t hide his heartbeat. Anika wipes a running pearl from the curve Katsuki’s collarbone. No quirk this time. It’s faint but Sero murmurs into a bad drink, “Scared she’s gonna steal his secrets or sumthin and take his precious ranking.” There are some grumbles, nods, and Shinsou snorts and ducks his head back out. Right, suicide.
"Start the timer,” Dynamight growls.
It takes four seconds for Katsuki’s hoodie to hit the back wall (and whip Denki with the zipper) and for the kitchen monsters to cross the humming room towards the linen closet. “Seven,” he spits to the closest onlooker, Uraraka, who startles and juggles her phone in her hands a few times before getting a hold of herself. Katsuki slams the door behind his company without looking back and there’s an unspoken consensus that this wouldn’t have been such an excellent idea sober.
It wouldn’t have happened sober, it barely happened tipsy and Anika tries to gauge the difference between gin and water in her veins before fumbling for the lights. Immediately, the skin between her thighs is damp. The heat of such a tight space would be unbearable if it weren’t for a little stained glass window and the crosswind from under the door, but still, she considers in the dark, it’s miserable. Momo’s bodysuit was stained gray from sweat and Jiro wasn’t just pink from a kiss or two.
“They’re trying to kill us,” she huffs, and cracks the little window before pulling on the light. Katsuki beats her to it.
He’s a dick but he’s not belligerent, and more than anything he’s made to be a hero. He made himself to save people, his parents made him to love him and his friends love to have him. Anika loves to have him. Even if he takes up all the room in this box with his overworked chest and red glare, it shouldn’t matter how weird he’s acting and she shouldn’t be so childish.
“Short-fuse,” she sighs, and turns. Apologies suck, but she’s not a student anymore, she’s not a intern, she’s not even in college, she’s a hero, they’re grown they’re busy, and she’ll devolve forever into immature goads cos he’ll let her. They don’t have enough time anymore to be kids or be close or pretend. “Katsuki—”
He sighs too, and dips too far down for her to stop him, eyes closed, to brush his lips over hers. His exhale tastes like hops, warm oats in the second Anika gives herself to think before she raises a startled hand and swings, claps it perfect center, into Katsuki’s cheek. The whole affair is noisy like they’re two crabs boxing in a paper bag. He stumbles into a towel rack, clutching his face, Anika holding her own and both of them staring, both of them slack jawed, as someone turns her music down outside.
“What the fuck!” She squeals after getting a grip on the windowsill behind her.
He can’t back up any farther than the doorframe and with his back on wood Katsuki, barks “I could say the same!” holding tight to his red face.
“I— I was trying to a apologize first!”
“First?! You were gonna kiss me anyway but when I beat you to it I get a concussion!”
“No— well, wait— apologize before you, you could—!” 
“Could what!”
“I was gonna explain!”
“You hadn’t even done a fucking thing yet what would you have explained?!”
“You— no, explain myself!” Seven minutes is an awfully long time Anika stares, fingers to her lips. She hadn’t thought about what to do after apologizing, or how badly she needed to kiss him. Needs to kiss him. “I was— I just, miss you.”
Katsuki howls before freezing, before his face drops from harsh lines to one smooth stare.
“I haven’t seen you! I don’t get to see you, at home, at work, and when I finally do you won’t even talk to me. You won’t—” Anika swallows and tilts her head side to side before trying to look back up. She fingers a short piece of hair by her ear, “You don’t like parties, you don’t like anyone but Kirishima I don’t know how I’m supposed to see you anymore and I finally get the chance and I act like a second-year, I— you— you were lying. I knew something was wrong— or you were thinking about something or— er— and I was just so excited you actually came, I would talk to you about anything, you could told me about paint drying, but you’ve been acting so weird all night and I just,” Anika heaves, her hand falls from her mouth and takes up the job of a fist, “I’m sorry.”
Katsuki flinches, slightly more wide eyed than sobriety would usually allow him, a foot or two away from one of his favorite people and the cling of her summer perfume. “You’re not an idiot,” he sighs.
“You’re not listening!”
“I’m always listening.”
“You’re never getting a fucking apology from me again.”
“I don’t want one.”
“Gun to my head.”
“I never want another, don’t apologize.” This closet is not up to code so Katsuki moves slowly to avoid splinters and another blow to the head.
“I shouldn’t have used my quirk,” Anika sneers, “I’m sorry.”
“Stop it.”
She pushes off the back wall, “M’sorry for teasing you about that dumb paper bag,” freckles and sweat mixing. She has never been wrong.
“Anika.”
“I’m sorry you’re stuck in here with me.”
Every thought is one inch closer, “I’m not.” Until Katsuki can lift his hands just and inch and her jaw is there waiting to fit perfectly into them.
“It’s your turn.”
“I’m not sorry.”
She sucks her teeth but lets him closer.
“I’m not sorry I kissed you, I’m not sorry we’re fighting—”
Her freckles shift with her cheeks and she wets her lips, “It’s hard unless we’re fighting, huh?”
“I like fighting with you,” he bites, hint of a smile, like he couldn’t possibly get the thought out fast enough. “I just, I don’t know how anymore. We don’t live together, we don't work together—”
Anika smiles back, “How long?”
“Two years.”
“How long left?”
“Five minutes.”
It’s enough, she traces the back of his clammy neck and dips into a kiss.
Katsuki did his homework in the common room on nights Anika made dinner. He didn’t say anything when she clipped her hair short, though she only got compliments if he was somewhere in the room. He was always in the room, the first hero to respond to a call for backup, the last person home after a drunk night out, grumpy but inevitably the one you know will answer a text when someone can’t walk on their own.
She always imagined him more timid than this, to kiss, a nerd too nervous to hold hands, but Katsuki presses as deeply as she’ll let him and they both fumble towards a wall. Four legs tangled, he holds the back of her head away from wood and glass and bites a lip to keep her close. Anika wraps her fingers in his tshirt to stay standing, suckling, kneading, begging for him to lose slightly more composure and make some noise for her. A tongue across his teeth gets her what she wants. Katsuki grabs her wrists and throws them over his shoulders so she has something to hold when he hoists her off her feet and onto the top of the step ladder.
“y’move too much,” he growls knowing she can’t hear him, knowing he might not have even said anything and melting a little when her tongue slips gently under his. He has to cup her cheeks to keep from falling over. He’s not close enough. Anika pulls him the only place he can still move, crumbling on top of her and poised on the steps of a shitty metal stool. He fits between her legs like a puzzle and she gasps into his mouth when he rolls too deep.
“Bad sound?” he startles and settles again when Anika shakes her head with her hands in his hair. Not bad, not drunk, not gentle, she wants to watch him fall apart but she’ll cherish a dark closet on a sticky night if that’s the best the universe can do on such short notice. He holds his weight as much off of her as he can in the tight space and the subtlety of his strength gets steam trickling from her ears.
He drags a thumb over the swell of her lip to catch his breath in the heat but she shudders and chases his hand with her tongue. God, if he was clammy before. Anika clutches his shirt and his wrist and for more than a second Katsuki skewers commons sense to the wall. She sucks just hard enough to pull the tip of his thumb past her lips. Too hot, it’s too hot, Katsuki is soaked, sweat floods the swell of his chest and drips between his knuckles. He doesn’t need to see to know what kind of face she’s making as she takes his fingers in her mouth and the thought stalls him just long enough— wet, swirling— to— tight— whimper. Katsuki snatches her jaw with his fist and buries his face in the damp of her neck. Salty, she trembles when he kisses her there and makes a frazzled sound when he growls.
“Don’t,” he groans with slightly more sense, “my quirk—"
“I’m waterproof.”
“Y’rnot bombproof.”
“Well don’t light a candle,” she grins into the dim and him with her, dragging his lips from her ear to her throat and sinking his teeth into the pulse of her perfume.
He likes the sound she makes when he bites even more so he does it again. Again, he pulls the fragile skin between his lips and soothes over the welts he makes with his tongue when her fingers start to dance on his chest. Between her lips and her collar bone he rises to kiss her and falls to bruise her on the path that makes her breathe loudest and when she finally has to cover her mouth he pauses and kneads harder. How quickly would her breasts warm in his fingers? How quickly would she—
“Katsuki,” Anika huffs above him and his eyes dart to hers, glowing black in the moonlight. “How long?”
“Don’t care.”
She drags her fingers over his forehead and claws through the front of his hair without another word. Her nails are heaven on his scalp. As much as he hates to look away, his eyes roll and she swallows, sinking off the steps and into the crook of his neck. Better, her lips are better than her nails and when her hair tickles his chin it’s all Katsuki can do not to dissolve around her. Anika works gingerly and she pulls the collar of his shirt down to reach the parts of him she wants. His ear, throat, the vibrating skin above his heart, all bloom in pink bruises while her nails rake his shoulder. He manages to drag his hands up her waist and bite his own tongue to stay quiet, but hardly more than that. Melt into her lips when she lets him. They sink together into a spot between stacked towels and a previously functional laundry horse and forget for the next however long that there will be things to talk about in the world outside of Mina’s linen closet. Forget sleep, forget work and shitty apartments, forget clothes— Katsuki's hands glide over wet skin and under the hem of Anika’s top. Every inch closer is the drum of her heart and her clumsy desperate fingers tugging at his belt loops in gasps caught between their lips.
“Alright, jesus!” Mina’s pop pink voice shrills in a sudden wash of light and fresh air and her kitchen monsters startle on the floor. “Party foul! No fucking in the closet.” Katsuki’s hoodie sails over Mina’s shoulder from the crowd and onto Anika’s head.
His tshirt is a v-neck in four different places and Anika’s hair spikes in every direction but the one that she styled it in after work. Black charcoal is smudged on all fours walls, on every clean sheet on the shelf, drips in streaks and fingerprints over the bruises at both of their throats and generally illustrates the whole incriminating scene.
“Happy?” Mina’s overliquored drink rolls her eyes for her and she turns back around to the stunned crowd, spilling a little onto Sero, “everyone happy? Can we please have normal parties now? One’s that don’t gamble with my security deposit.” She turns again, overshooting it, ignoring the hands Kirishima hovers right over the spot her head would land if she tipped over, “And you two, did we fix you or was was this a terrible idea?”
Katsuki blinks up. Anika tightens her lips and Shinsou pretends not to watch through the window but smiles nonetheless in a puff of smoke on the fire escape.
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liamthemarowak · 2 years ago
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Celebrating the New Year
It was a fine night at the town, and everyone is getting ready for the new year, including Liam and Jack who are preparing to get their new year stuff. "Ok Jack, we will be able to have a great time to watch the fireworks for the new year!" Liam said. "Yes, I am really excited about it! It reminded me of a fresh new start of the year!" Jack said as he carries the fireworks and puts them in the bag for the new year. Just then, Liam is thinking about something that is missing that could include the new years event for everyone. "Hmmm, I think something is missing. I know, we need some sparklers for everyone to have to wave it around!" Liam said. "That would be a great idea Liam, we will have an exciting new year for all of us!" Jack said. So, Liam decided to take the sparklers out and puts them into the bag for the new year party. This means Liam and Jack are all set and they are ready to go the open field with the view of the sea so they could have a good view. "When they have arrived there, they see so many people around, and they are very amazed about it! "Wow, I never seen the crowd like this before!" Liam said. "and they are also have some food stalls for us to eat, like the hot dog van!" Jack said. Liam was so excited to eat one of the hot dogs, so he tried to get one, but Jack grabbed him from getting the hot dog. "Woah, easy there Liam, we aren't ready to have some food just yet! We need to set up the fireworks first!" Jack said. "Sorry, I was too excited to get a hot dog. But let's set things up with the fireworks!" Liam said as they going to set the place up with the fireworks. With the fireworks, Liam has his own blue fireworks and Jack having his green fireworks, which makes them a perfect colour for them in the new year. Also, the other people are setting up the light sign by the sea view and also the countdown timer. This place is all set for the new year, and all of them are very excited, Including Liam and Jack. "Wow, now that's all done, let's get some food, shall we?" Liam said. Jack agreed, and they decided to get some food. Liam has brought a hot dog and Jack will be having a nice fresh pizza from the oven. They sat down to have their food, and the food tastes great! "Mmmmm, that is so delicious!" Liam said as he rubs his tummy. "Of course, they have cooked to so well, just like me!" Jack said. Later that night, the countdown the new year will begin. "Now, this is where the fun begins!" Liam said as they all start the countdown. and with that, the fireworks are ready to fly in the sky with a bang. Then, everyone shouted happy new year when the countdown reaches to zero. Liam, Jack and Everyone cheered for the new year. "Happy new year, I hope we will have a good year!" Liam said. "And making sure there are no bad things happening in the year!" Jack said as they watched the fireworks in the night sky. Everyone had a sparkler each so they could swing it around. Liam and Jack use their sparklers to make some good shapes like their cute skull heads, and also pokemon characters as well. and with that have a great new year everyone!
Liam The Marowak and Jack the Cubone belongs to me
Pokemon Belongs to Nintendo and Game Freak
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smalls-words · 3 years ago
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Deafening Silence
Summary: This is a prequel to Silence Speaks When Words Can’t, so go read that before you read this (even though, chronologically, this comes before it). Because of this, it’s got a lot of jumps in it :)
Pairings: ScarletWidow x Fem!Healer!Reader
Genre: Fluff and Angst 
Warnings: Fainting/Passing out, light coma, 
Requested: YES/no
Words: 2,922
A/N: I hate uni. That’s it, go read.
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*not my gifs*
Like your normal days, the sun broke through the window and shone on your face, waking you up abruptly. Little spots danced between your eyes until they healed, making you sigh as you got up to get ready for the day. 
You didn’t have much to do, but you really wanted to get it done - Wanda and Natasha were coming home, along with the rest of the team, but they didn’t give you the time that they would be back. So, you decided to get started early so that you could be prepared for any time.
You started in the kitchen, whipping up some cupcakes and cookies whilst following Wanda’s recipes. You knew that she had enchanted them so that only you, Natasha and herself could open them, but Natasha can’t cook to save her life, so it was really only you two. 
You popped the cupcakes in the top oven and the cookies in the bottom oven. “FRIDAY, can you tell me when they’re done?” 
“Of course, Ms L/N.” The AI responded.
You set out to decorate the living room, kitchen and dining room with as many ‘welcome home’ decorations as you could find, even printing some little figurines of them all with Tony’s 3D printer. You smiled at the mini versions of your girlfriends and placed them on top of the little tower you made, filled with sweet and savoury treats. 
You collected the cookies and cupcakes when FRIDAY told you they were done and you had to wait to ice the cupcakes, not wanting the icing to melt. After the recommended time you found in Wanda’s notes, you set some aside and decorated the rest with some plain white icing. 
Then, you went back to those cupcakes, dyed the icing, and took extra special care with the now red-and-black icing to make it swirl upwards in the way you knew Wanda did to make them perfect.
You put them in the fridge to let it all set whilst you piled the cookies onto several plates, getting chips and other snacks before you sat down on the couch.
Now, you had to wait.
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7 o’clock at night. You waited the whole freaking day, and now you felt like an idiot. You wasted all of the ingredients, Tony’s printer materials, the balloons, the decorations, and you sulked on the couch whilst you scrolled through your phone.
You smiled weakly at the sight of your girlfriends in your camera roll. Wanda, as per usual, had spilled something on her shirt and Natasha was ready to lick it off, but the witch’s power held her back as she grabbed a cloth instead. You chuckled as you remembered Natasha’s words, which you swore never to repeat.
With a stroke of need, you dialled Natasha, knowing full well she wouldn’t pick up. 
“Y/N/N? What’s wrong, honey?” 
You sniffled, confused. “Tasha?”
“Hi, baby. Are you okay? Is everything okay at the compound?” 
“Yeah. Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine.” You tried to hide the evidence of your tears, but she knew better than that.
“We’ll be home in about half an hour, unless you want us to pick up dinner on the way home?” 
“No! I mean, no, just… just come home.” You murmured, cursing yourself for sounding so desperate.
“Okay. Do you wanna say hi to Wanda?”
“HI Y/N/N!” The witch yelled through.
You chuckled softly. “Hi, my love.”
“How are you feeling? Was last night’s call helpful?”
You briefly remembered calling them, unable to get to sleep, and you nodded before you remembered you weren’t on FaceTime. “Yeah, it really helped, Wands. Thank you, both of you.” 
You heard a playful ‘aw’ from Tony and rolled your eyes. “Shut up, Stark.” 
“Rude!” He scoffed, but chuckles came from all around. 
“We love you, Y/N, we’ll be home soon.” 
“Bye-bye.” You muttered weakly, hanging up. 
You pulled the blanket from the side of the couch on top of you and sighed happily, ready to be in your girlfriends’ arms once more. 
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When you woke a few hours later to the sound of FRIDAY’s alert, you shot up and felt your stomach churning. 
“Ms L/N, get to the medical room now.” 
You sprinted down the hallway, not liking the feeling in your chest as it crept around your heart, squeezing it like it was the prey of a boa. You saw a pretty banged up Steve and Tony walk past and light touches to their arms healed them completely.
You needed your girls. Now.
You finally got to the medical rooms and saw them lying in side-by-side beds, horror running through you as you saw Natasha’s body spasm whilst the doctors tried to get her under control. You sped to her side and took her hand, only for Wanda to start crashing too.
“Everybody out!” You yelled over the commotion, the doctors questioning your methods until Thor came in and asked them to get out too.
You whipped around and pressed a hand to his chest, healing him too, before you took Natasha and Wanda’s hands. Wisps of green began to emanate from your conjoined hands as your knees shook, every ounce in your body fighting to both heal them and to keep yourself upright.
“Lady Y/N, it won’t work! You’ll kill yourself in the process, stop!” Thor begged, but you shook your head.
“If I die saving them, then it’s a worthy sacrifice. The world needs the Avengers.” 
“But they need you.” 
You shook your head and felt it get lighter and lighter. “The world… needs… them.” 
You felt your knees hit the ground as that feeling around your heart constricted further, making it impossible to breathe until you let go of Natasha and Wanda’s hands, catching yourself before you could face plant into the cold tiles.
You heard them cough and splutter whilst you groaned on the floor, feeling two meaty hands lift you like you weighed nothing more than a feather. Their words made you recognise them as Thor’s hands, but two pairs of thin, nimble ones came to your chest and face.
“Y/N/N, STAY AWAKE, PLEASE!” 
It sounded a million miles away, like you were drifting through space and someone was talking to you through the comms. You marvelled at the stars in your vision, finding constellations where there were none, and slumped into the bed previously occupied by Wanda. 
“Wel… Welcome… home.” You muttered before you passed out. 
Natasha and Wanda looked at your still form with complete fear and guilt running through them. Only hours ago, you had called them with tears evident in your tone and they had told you they would be home soon. 
But Fury called them and they had to fight all over again, with half-full magazines and fatigued bodies, they were losing against the smaller, second mission. However, Thor summoned a bolt of lightning so powerful that it fried all of their enemies, leaving him with a few jets to commandeer and bring them all home. He had called in doctors by calling Maria, but he knew what would happen if you were alerted. 
Now, it was their turn to wait. 
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It took four days for you to wake up properly. You had faded in and out of your unconscious state, uncertainty and fear coursing through you but the one constant was seeing Natasha and Wanda by your bedside. 
During those brief moments of consciousness, Natasha would be running her fingers through your hair whilst Wanda spoke to you softly, giving you words of encouragement and promises that they wouldn’t leave your side.
They kept their promises with every time your eyes opened, making sure they were awake to help you calm down or to ease your mind. Wanda monitored your unconscious state with her magic whilst Natasha’s eyes never seemed to stray from your vitals. 
But now, you were fully awake without either of them there. 
“F-FRIDAY?” You asked softly.
“Yes, Ms L/N?” She asked just as softly as your voice, not wanting to startle you.
“W-Where’s Tasha a-and Wanda?” You shivered underneath your blankets.
“I will alert them that you are awake. Unfortunately, you are not in a Stark bed, so I cannot help you warm up. I will alert Mr Stark about that.” 
You nodded mindlessly and kept your eyes closed, the lights around you quite bright, and you only opened them when you heard two pairs of boots stop suddenly outside of your room.
“Y/N/N!” Wanda cried, hurtling towards you with a tear-filled hug whilst Natasha came to your side and held your hand. 
“How are you feeling?”
“Tired, but I just had a four-day nap.” You chuckled weakly, but neither of them found it humorous. 
Wanda sat further down on your lap and noticed how you shivered, with Natasha already on it considering your vitals were giving her a warning. 
“Get off her, Wanda.” The Widow muttered.
The witch climbed off of you but never fully left you, still holding your hand, and Natasha brought you some more blankets.
“FRIDAY, can you ask Tony or someone to put some soup in the microwave?” 
“Of course, Ms Romanoff.” 
The two of them sat by your side but you could see the emotion on their face, looking down at your blankets as you cuddled up further into them.
“Why, Y/N/N?” Natasha asked, her voice broken on the question.
“You were dying. Both of you.” You answered, not looking at either of them.
“The doctors-”
“They weren’t even close to saving you.” You spat as you interrupted Wanda.
“I could feel you slipping away. Your bodies… they- they were thrashing on the beds, your eyes rolled back into your heads- do you know how terrifying that is? To see the two women in your life as nothing more than bodies flopping around like dying fish?”
“Thor told us that you said something about saving us, about how the world needs us. What about us needing you?” Natasha finally pulled your eyes away by holding your jaw.
“Hmm? Whilst you were using your life force to heal ours, did you even stop to think about that? About how broken we’d be if you weren’t here?”
“You would have had each other… You’d have been fine.” You murmured, pushing her hand off of your face.
“No, Y/N, we wouldn’t have been ‘fine’.” Wanda growled.
“Everybody says that when you lose someone you love, a piece of your heart goes with them. You know how many people I’ve lost. How many more pieces do you think I have?”
You hid under your blankets and closed your eyes, a thought creeping through your mind before you dismissed it.
But Wanda heard it. “Seriously? Wishing to go back to sleep and not having to deal with this? Y/N, that’s low.” 
“I wanted you to come home!” You snapped, throwing all of the blankets off of you even though that was a hard task.
“I wanted you in my arms, safe at 7:30, when you promised! I spent an entire day getting the compound ready for a nice relaxed evening, but you decided to go play more heroes! I didn’t think I’d be here, sitting in a medical bed, arguing with you about how I nearly died saving you! The world doesn’t even know I exist, because I don’t have superpowers like you! I’m a healer! It’s my calling to heal the wounded! I can’t control it, even if I tried!”
You stood up and found a renewed strength in you as you ripped the wires off of your body and sent the machines into a cacophony of beeping. 
“If you died, everybody would blame me for letting two of the best Avengers die! But if I died, nobody would bat an eyelash because evidently, I’m not that important!” You marched out of the room and ignored the way that Tony had brought your soup, only to come back and thank him softly.
“How are you feeling, kiddo?” He asked, walking with you.
“Dumb, stupid girlfriends.” You muttered, sipping on the soup as you subconsciously followed him into his lab. 
He chuckled and sat down on his chair, leaving you to do the same on his wheeled stool. You shivered slightly and took another spoonful of soup, but froze when you felt something being placed on your back.
You watched as the suit built outwards and surrounded your body, sighing into the warmth of the heater. “Thank you, Tony.” 
“Don’t worry about it. Those cupcakes you made were delicious, by the way. And the figurines? Those were cool.” 
You smiled, happy to have your efforts acknowledged and appreciated. “Thanks, Tony. Can… Can I keep the suit? Just for now, ‘cause I’m cold?” 
“Yeah, sure. You can ‘keep it’ keep it if you want. I don’t really use it since I’ve built a heater into all of my suits now.” He shrugged, watching you smile as you left.
You entered the kitchen and saw a small note on the last cupcake decorated with green icing, confused since you didn’t make any green icing. “For Y/N - if anybody eats this, we will kill you.” You read aloud, chuckling softly.
You flipped it over as you saw some writing on the back. ‘Y/N - please come and find us when you see this magical cupcake. Love, Tasha and Wands xx’. You blushed and put the note in your pocket before you abandoned your soup and took your cupcake.
You searched through the compound, holding your cupcake with both hands, and heard a familiar sound coming from your bedroom. You slowly walked towards it and hid against the wall, listening to the two voices inside.
“Hurry up, Wanda, she’s gonna be here any minute!”
“I’m trying to pick between green sheets and red sheets which is already stressing enough, so will you calm down?! God, it’s like the first night we became a throuple.” 
You chuckled softly, remembering that night filled with lots of blushing, lots of stolen kisses, and lots and lots of affection. 
“FRIDAY, where’s Y/N?”
“She’s outside.” 
“Fuck!” 
You stepped into the doorframe and almost burst out laughing at the scene in front of you. Candles along the bottom of the TV were lit whilst snacks, drinks and pizza were on the side table. Meanwhile, the bed was in shambles as Wanda’s magic turned the sheets green and Natasha was so swept up in the duvet cover that she had gotten lost.
“Wanda? Why’s everything quiet?” Natasha asked.
You snickered softly and watched her freeze, moving around the bed to help her out of the cover. You smirked as her cheeks turned bright red before you kissed them softly, turning to Wanda as you leaned on Natasha.
“Struggling to choose, my love? You know what my favourite colours are.”
She smiled softly and changed them to red and black, sighing in relief before she walked over to you. “I see Tony has had his fair share of time with you.”
You shook your head as you laughed through your nose. “You two get so jealous so quickly.” 
Natasha’s arms laced around your waist and hummed at the belt buckle - it was both of their symbols layered on one another. “You’re our girl.”
You grinned and kissed her cheek until Wanda pulled you in by the belt and hugged you tightly. “Come on, it’s time for us to apologise.” 
You shook your head and tried to move out of her arms, but her magic picked up the both of you and placed you in the bed. Natasha crawled in behind and pressed the symbol on your back, the suit folding away before she chucked it blindly into the room. 
“Hey!” You barked playfully, only for her lips to seal over yours. 
You pressed slightly against them as Natasha’s tongue swept across your bottom lip, but she pushed no further. Wanda soon replaced hers and you sighed satisfactorily into it, her lips leaving yours whilst she moved your head to rest on her chest.
“We’re sorry for getting mad at you, love. We shouldn’t have.” She murmured, beginning to twist your hair through her fingers. 
“You are so important to us, dorogaya (darling), and we’d be devastated if we lost you. Please, just… you don’t have to go full throttle, okay?” Natasha kissed the back of your neck.
“Okay.” You sighed.
“Maybe Wanda can help you learn to control those urges to heal us. Hey, Wands?”
“Always.” She responded, kissing your temple.
“Now, who’s hungry?” You asked, gesturing to your cupcake.
Wanda hovered it in the air and cut it perfectly into three, licking the green icing off of your nose whilst Natasha licked it on your cheek, just out of reach of your lips. 
“Stop licking me.” You grumbled, but they both chuckled.
“I think cuddles and movies are in order.” Wanda declared, making you grin with Natasha as she put your favourite movie on.
They fed you some slices of pizza and made sure you drank a lot of water before your eyelids became heavy and you struggled to keep them open. You felt soft touches on your cheek and looked over to see Wanda’s fingers creeping closer to your eyelids.
“Shut them, detka (baby). Tasha and I are not leaving you for a while.” She murmured, shutting your eyelids for you.
“But I wanna watch the movie…” You grumbled quietly.
“You can finish it in the morning.” Natasha snickered, gliding her fingers along your bicep before you fell asleep to the sounds of their heartbeats.
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