#could look at his face all fucking day
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TV/Film versions of 19th Century Fictional Male Characters I Would Bang Into The 20th Century (In No Particular Order)
#9 Patrick Sumner [The North Water, Ian McGuire] - Jack O'Connell edition (amc, 2021)
#jack o'connell#the north water#me before watching this: ooh amc are you giving me new ice boys to drool over#me after watching this: holy FUCK do NOT WANT any of these ice boys except this sad laudanum boy please save him at all costs#so yeah thanks to sas rogue heroes I now want to climb this boy like a tree#I'm gonna have to watch lady fucking chatterley aren't I haven't I suffered enough lawrence in my life#could look at his face all fucking day#the more dishevelled and battered the better#I drew the line at giffing the bear scene though that was too far#*19C#my wee gifs
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YOU JUST HƎARD IT FROM [HIS MOUTH] FOR SURƎ!!!
#cw gore#cw blood#jrwi fanart#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi suckening#BEEN VEHEMENTLY SCRIBBLING THIS THING ALL DAY#IM SO FUCKING IN LVOE W THE NEW EPISODE#VIV N VEX ARE LITERALLY EVERYTHING I COULDVE EVER WANTED. I LOVE BLOOD AND MEAT AND BLOOD AND MEAT#THE SCRIBBLE IS KINDA ROUGH SO DONT LOOK AT IT TOO HARD BUT EHEHEHEEEE THE FACE THAT I CREATED UNNERVES ME#AND IM VERY HAPPY ABOUT THAT. I LOVE CREATING SOMETHING AND HAVING IT EVEN SLIGHTLY PHASE ME#I LOVED ALL THE TOOTH RIPPING NOISES IN THIS EPISODE. AHVE U EVER HAD A TOOTH REMOVED?#SHE USED A BLUNT METAL TOOL TO PUNCH IT OUT. IT REMINDED ME OF THE SPLINTERING OF A TREE. THE WAY IT TORE.#SUCH A SPECIFIC SORT OF CRUNCHING AND SPLINTERING AS A MOLAR WAS RRRRIPPPEEDD FROM THE SOCKET. OHH I LOVE IT.#GOING IN FOR A ROOT CANAL NEXT WEEK AND IM VERY EXCITED. ALL THE DENTISTS LOVE ME N ARE SO NICE TO ME#WHAT A GREAT EPISODE. I HOPE THE URGE TO DRAW MORE STRIKES ME LIKE THIS AGAIN. WEEEE!!#I WANNA ANIMATE EMIZEL GETTIN HIS EYE RRIPPED OUT. BUT. IM ALREADY COOKING 3 OTHER VIV N VEX ANIMATIONS#THERES NO WAY THEY WILL ALL BE FINISHED HELP!! HELP MEE!!!! I HAVE TO MANY IDEAS AND NOT ENOUGH HANDS. DO U GUYS REMEMBER HTF?#OR HAPPY TREE FRIENDS. THE CUTE ANIMAL SHOW W ALL THE BLOOD AND GORE AND TERRIBLE TERRIBLE THINGS HAPPENING TO THE CUTE ANIMALS#in elementary school i would show the 'eyes cold lemonade' to other kids and tell em thats how they make pink lemonade.#hope that helps you undertsand. i wish i could make a lil cartoon w just viv n vex doing what they do best#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. IM GOING BACK TO MY LAB. DONT EXPECT TO HEAR FROM ME IN A MILLION YEARS
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Jacob (in the 1st video): "it's like you kind of, by watching this show you're sort of living out maybe like things that you didn't know- you- thought-," *looks at sam*, "i mean i'm just exposing myself..."
Screenshots from Man About Town magazine, Jacob Anderson and Sam Reid's Reddit AMA answers, NME - Jacob Anderson: “‘Game Of Thrones’ never really felt like a big deal to me”, vmagazine - Acting up with Jacob Anderson and Vanityfair - Jacob Anderson Loves Doing “Insane” Things on Interview With the Vampire
Videos from DISH Studio and IWTV 1x03 podcast (info compilation via lovesjar)
There he goes again… is it the murder and blood drinking or the gay sex?! which one it is, Jacob? 🤭
#jam reiderson#sam reid#jacob anderson#season 1 press was almost a countdown for him to come out.#maybe one day he will so let's pray IWTV runs for long so that one day he feels comfortable enough to out himself 🙏#quoting the comments in the link#'Which could mean nothing-' Nah that meant something#No for real what else could this mean besides… you know…#they’ve explored each other’s bodies#sam shaking in his boots while jacob out here telling their business😭😭😭😭#sam staring at jacob like he was trying to telepathically warn him that he's about to come out#as bisexual in the middle of a dish studio interview#the way sam immediately looks over🤣meanwhile poor delainey's just over there third wheeling#he either wants to drink blood or suck d*ck and we all know which one is more likely to be true 🧏♀️#the quick panic in sam’s face … cinema#the stare and awkward smile trying to figure out where the hell he’s going with this they’re fucking hilarious#he keeps looking to delainey for help and she’s like nope deal with it yourself they’re so hilarious#sam staring at jacob like he was trying to telepathically warn him that he's about to come out in the middle of a interview#jacob saying “you’re kind of living out things you didn’t know you thought..i mean im just exposing myself here” while looking at sam i sai
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like why did they change where Vegeta was when Cell announced the cell games in the anime
why did they make this vegeta starting shit with yamcha instead of chillin in the lab with his family? why did they take Bulma out of the lab? Why'd they say she was Out while Dr Brief was repairing 16? Why did they change Bulma working on advanced robotics to running in late with her baby?
it's the same scene except: - Bulma's actively at work being a scientist - Vegeta's not being rude to her (or anyone else!) - Vegeta waits for Trunks instead of leaving the room - Cell interrupted the airwaves, which means Trunks and Vegeta were just hanging out with Bulma and Dr B while they were working
Those are all Great Character Details!! That the anime rails against!!
#these cowards afraid of showing Vegeta actively choosing to be around his wife and child even when he's Bad#Because Goku who is Good never ever even once makes that choice onscreen outside of filler#and then they justify that choice by making Chi-Chi seem horrid and unreasonable for (checks notes) Not Wanting Her Child to Die#anyway I am once again being bitter about anime vs manga klasjdklasd#I can't believe I let the anime convince me I hated Goku man Goku's SUCH a good and ridiculous character in the manga#the anime just SUCKS at letting him be who he's always been#and has to reframe and recontextualize and reword everything he does so that it seems like he's Actually Quite Mature and Thoughtful nO#THAT's VEGETA YOU COWARDS#also the fact that bulma said she wouldn't live with him at the beginning of this arc to him casually hanging out with her and trunks#after cell beat his ass and humbled him is REALLY GOOD SUBTEXT for their shared relationship having improved without showing it#it's great subtext for all three of them and toei just went 'nah' and decided to make it a whole group shot so ...? Master Roshi could sit#and explain how ??? Tournaments Work??? Just so Cell could log on and also explain how tournaments work?? God it's been so long#since I've watched the anime and now when I do it just makes me mad aklsdjskja the manga is SOOOOO much better#there are some spots where the pacing is more ideal in the anime like goku turning ssj for the first time but like man. everything else is.#like why are you making Goku snarky with Vegeta dude his clapbacks are SO much funnier when they're just Tactless Honesty#like Vegeta's not insulted by Snark bitch he grew up in the Freeza force that man was raised by THE bitchiest drag queens#Vegeta's insulted by someone saying something deeply and insultingly True to his face as if it's the fucking weather#Goku in the anime is like 'a battle of wits hoho' but Goku's purity is part of the joke he's not snippy he's just got no social etiquette#He's just honest! He's not trying to be insulting. That's what MAKES it insulting! That's the WHOLE GAG of why Vegeta can't stand him#Goku is always just telling the truth and it's always the rudest shit Vegeta's ever heard in his life#'it's a sunny day! i'm way stronger than you! see you out there bud!' 10000% Genuinely Friendly. Golden Retriever-Ass Pure.#Infuriating. Hilarious.#anyway I looked at anime clips to make sure I remembered things right and that was a mistake#as someone who has a soft spot for it and grew up on it -- compared to the manga it's bad and it's always been bad#and toriyama was right to be disinterested in watching it jesus christ they BUTCHERED his work#anyway this has been another shot of haterade with sketches thank you for scrolling my rambletags askljdask#dbtag#i just truly can't get over how they make Vegeta call her 'woman' in the anime and he literally only ever calls her Bulma in the manga#except for on namek when he refers to her as 'the/that woman' because she is a complete stranger#why is he calling her woman like he's a 1940s american husband and not an extraterrestrial from a deeply advanced society toei
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This is the best picture I could find of mimiko's doll from the stage play -
And today I went outside and found the perfect material, so I can make one (or more) in every canon color.
#gotta finish the 4 arms and 2 faces one first#but now I have 2 new fabrics for these that I haven't even used#also this purple one could work for Geto's manta ray cursed spirit!! which I've wanted to make for a while alkwdnflqwknflkklwwnrilfn#呪術廻戦#still funny that they made their own and it looks So much better but is probably th3 same size as the official plush#which you can find for like $60 on ebay btw#if I had known they existed before designing my own I would have been like fuck there is no hope for me bc they're so scary aksjdnfwwdnfalwr#one day I was looking for anime references on Google and saw that there was an official plush.... all I'd been using was manga references#anyway I am stacking the first set of arms and it is going well#I took like a month off but it's good to be back#mimiko's doll#jjk0#jujutsu kaisen#larue#tho his hair looks so good??#suguru geto#nanako hasaba#miguel odol
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A future fic carcass I'll write when I write (after I finish 9 ungoing fics)
King Viserys dies at the wedding celebration of his daughter, Crown Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen.
No one else does.
I am a firm believer Otto and Viserys are the rot on the face of the House of the Dragon and without these two everything would be fine-ish.
Unfortunately, we need Vissy T for his kids to be born, so Viserys dies soon after Aemond is conceived. Sorry, Daeron, not this time.
Joffrey doesn't die because he doesn't manage to provoke Criston before the king dies.
Rhaenyra overrules his father's decision and marries Harwin Strong.
Their son Jacaerys Targaryen is the heir to the throne, Lucerys Targaryen is the heir to Harrenhal.
Daemon marries Laena and lives at Dragonstone (Rhaenyra grants him that), their firstborn is the heir of Driftmark.
Laenor joins the Queensguard and is sent to Dragonstone to protect Prince Daemon (ha) and his future heirs.
Criston Cole becomes the Commander of City Watch while still retaining his white cloak (what? He did it in canon, can do it here).
Rhaenyra removes Tyland Lannister as the master of ships and appoints Corlys Velaryon (back).
When Baela and Rhaena are born, it is decided to betroth Prince Aegon and Lady Baela, making him future lord-consort of Driftmark (and successfully removing him out of succession of the iron throne).
When Jace is born, his and Helaena's betrothal is announced.
Baelon is born without an issue and the royal family meets at the celebration on Dragonstone, where Aemond claims Cannibal and loses an eye in the process.
(Kinslayer, everyone. It fits).
Afterwards Luke is sent as a ward to Harrenhal with his father. A huge ass scene ensures there Luke clings to Aemond and refuses to go.
Aegon makes a greasy comment and gets punched.
Both Aegon and Baela are sent as wards to Driftmark.
Lucerys still leaves.
Harrenhal doesn't burn bc even if Larys kills Harwin and Luke, there's still Lyonel and Joffrey in the equation. Lyonel keeps serving Queen Rhaenyra as her Hand.
Years later the royal family meets at the wedding celebration of Baela and Aegon, where Luke and Aemond behave very much like Rhaenyra and Daemon at Rhaenyra's not happened wedding.
Rhaenyra and Alicent clutch at their pearls, Rhaenyra suggests father died because of seeing something like that.
Daemon asks if she implies they killed Viserys, then asks where is Baelon.
Laena replies Baelon is playing knights with Joffrey.
Rhaenyra and Harwin Strong (no) have three more children, Aegon, Viserys and Visenya, all silver-haired like their mother (her uncle).
Laena is fine with it, they have a poly. Laena doesn't have more children because Baelon's birth was a ghasty one.
Baelon claims the Grey Ghost.
Otto is never called back to the capital because (suprise!) Rhaenyra didn't rush to kill her 3 y.o brother or the other one who was born after Viserys' death. Instead she marries Aegon off so he's no threat.
Aemond eventually joins the Queensguard and is appointed to the future lord of Harenhall.
Lucerys refuses to marry and appoints his brother Viserys as his heir, who marries Visenya. They have a very good life in Harrenhal.
The reason Luke skips over Joffrey is because Joffrey is always at the sea (with Baelon), and Aegon the Younger is bethrothed to Baela and Aegon the Elder' firstborn, Laena.
Everyone lives happily ever after, Otto gets to be the head of the house Hightower after he successfully plots against his own kin, since his blood is secured on the throne, if in unconventional for him way.
He once tried to manipulate Aegon, but was cut off sharply by Rhaenys and Corlys, who kind of adopted the boy as theirs.
Aegon enjoys wandering about Essos very much, he, of course, whores around, but he and Baela have an agreement. One of Baela's children is born from Alyn of Hull, but no one is any wiser, since everyone just thinks the child looks like her.
Jacaerys and Helaena have three kids, Jaehaerys and Jaehaera and then Maelor.
Jaehaera is oldest and so is the heir.
Oh, and Rhaena is happily married to Corwyn Cobray. They have a daughter, Rhaenys.
#hotd#hotd au#queen rhaenyra#hotd fanfic#fuck viserys#i will write it one day bc i have such a vivid image of the scenes such as: viserys' death. rhaenyra overruling her father's decision#explaining it and trying to mediate it so Corlys wouldn't start another war#'i thought it was in the tradition for the king or queen to marry their hand's child'#the greens' FACES at that#rhaenyra gathering Laenor and his entire fam and suggesting queensguard#“but then he won't be able to wed a woman. have a family-”#-exactly *Rhaenyra and Laenor lock gases. she nods. he nods.* -i accept#Aemond just fucking WANDERING AWAY TO CLAIM THE SCARIEST ASS DRAGON THAT IS THERE#the total panic then Laenor finds him and brings back with EYE LESS. (he almost got to the castle but fainted mid way)#corlys trying to push for baelon as the heir and laena&rhaenys being: “NO”#the unspoken kinship in the house of whoring around. Harwin being like “i support my wife's wrongs” and loving egg vis and visenya as his#NO ONE KNOWING THEY'RE NOT HIS. LIKE LEGIT THEY COULD BE HIS OR HARWIN'S. EVEN RHARNYRA DOESN'T KNOW#aegon living his best life as a sailor and explorer#Aemond looking at Laenor and being like “i can do that too”#laenor living THE BEST LIFE by his sis and her husband/his friend's side. and Joffrey is ALIVE#criston eventually getting over himself and accepting that Rhaenyra indeed couldn't run away with him#like imagine if they run away and then vissy t died#whoops i guess#also i just realized i accidentally made it so that Harrenhal is eventually ruled not by Strongs but Daemon's kids#lmao i guess#They are Targaryens (tm) your honor#the amount of dragons they're about to have...like harrenhal has 4 just with luke aemond and visx2#Dragonstone has 3 even if all kids scatter about#cobrays have 2 (Rhaena's and her daughters)#driftmark has at least 3 and then Laena is born and its 4
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Blue Bloods finale things/spoilers under the cut that I wanted to yell about:
• Jamko parents!!! Parents!! Oh how far they've come 😭
• I'm going to miss Eddie Janko so damn much, that's my girl.
•Jack and Erin getting married!! They finally got their happy ending. And the looks on their faces at dinner as they decided to keep it to themselves was just so 💜😭
• Danny's face when Henry tells him to find his person to come home to. He already knows.
• Danny Reagan! Asking Maria Baez! On a date! And her saying yes! He doesn't need to go look for his person because she's right there besides him. And the look on her face when she agreed!!
#blue bloods#jamko#jerin#daez#eddie janko#i'm going to miss so many of these characters so fucking much#crying over jamko on tumblr gone midnight I suddenly feel like i'm 18 again when I literally just turned 25 yday#I expected jamko parents and we knew that jack and erin were back together but getting 3/3 for my ships? blessed#jerin getting married again feels so right. their chemistry is unmatched#(the way jack looks at her. I get it.)#and then danny asking baez on a date took me out#the implication that he thought about what henry said for a few days and all his thinking led him back to maria because she's his girl.#and he just knew he had to take that leap.#(It's fine i'm going insane over here)#i am a bit miffed that we won't actually see anything beyond him asking her out and it was slightly open ended#but considering that we knew that danny didn't want to act on his feelings bc he didn't want to risk the pain of losing her/her getting hur#the fact that he asked her out was hugely significant#the fact that he specifically said it was because he had been thinking about what henry said to him is making me lose it#they obviously hang out outside work anyway but this is Different. you could tell by how almost nervous danny was 😭 but#she was right there with him. as she always is. they're partners in every sense.#and baez knows it too!!! the look on her face!! danny will tell her one day what it was that henry said and she'll Know.#god I am going to be thinking about them for the forseeable#3/3 on my ships and a good ending on a series finale is so rare for me#anyway i've been watching this show weekly since like 2014/15 and had watched it before that with my dad#so it's so strange that it's ending. it's one of the first shows that i've watched week in and out for donkeys years that is ending and it'#gonna be odd to not have that show in my watching list anymore#shut up g#(good god sorry about the tags I had to get that all out)#if anyone actually read any of that and still wants to come yell about these things please do :)
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Actually obsessed with my new coworker at the farm ajdkalsl
#not snz#apparently he's some sort of cook for a living#idk what he does i just know he works in a kitchen#but this isn't like a career move or anything for him#he's super secretive about his job for some reason?? like damn how bad is it lmao#he didn’t even tell us what he does i just managed to clock him#he's been here for like a week now and I've been going in extra days bc my boss is on vacation and someone needs to train him#kinda quiet the first couple days and didn’t really talk until you said something to him first unless he had a question#and then i said fuck like five times in the same sentence and now he talks a lot lmao#swearing like a sailor gang unite i guess#anyway i tried to hand him off to another coworker so i could go play vet for a few of our animals#but he wanted to come and i was like 😬#bc one of the animals has a nasty infected wound that needs hella care#and I'm the one who does it bc it makes everyone else sick and/or faint#and i go 'oh no it's okay i can do it it's kinda gross' and I'm telling him Why and everything#dude looks me in the face he's like 'i work in a kitchen'#I'm like bro respectfully i think this is a bit different from raw meat#and he proceeds to tell me that he watched someone cut part of their finger off???????#like wtf is going on in restaurants#so i was too floored by that response to say shit so he came with me#and to his credit he was very good with all the medical stuff like I'll give him that#he's just so deadpan about everything and it's so funny to me#also he can do a handstand for over a minute#like a few of us were sitting in the office vibing and trying to bond and he just drops that then did it like??#i know so much about this man and yet i know nothing about him#so yeah workhas been fun lately lmao
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[cw vent: chronic illness, general world politics mention w no detail)
"man. i'm so tired. i feel like i can't do anything selfship related. is it because my energy's been sapped from family visiting and everyone wanting to do ~summer activities~ nonstop? am i so in my head about "getting ren's story right without stepping over any lines" that i've backed myself into a perfectionist corner? is the world just going to shit so hard that i can't have one (1) minute of escape on this blog before going back to working through the political hellscape we're in? god even trying to make this plushie pattern is killing me even though i want to hold my guy So Badly AUGH."
/finishes the plushie pattern after trying multiple body bases and literally buying a japanese ebook about plushie face and hair design/
"actually what if i lived forever and spent all of that time making an army of these fuckers to swim in? what then?"
#obviously tagging this as#vent -#lol. lmao. anyway.#when i say i spent all day on this... jumping from base to base trying to find one that worked well for what i wanted#and had the right face shape and the easiest way to map a face onto it and know it'll look Right when embroidered...#and then i just caved and bought a book i'd been looking at since i started making mini ren lol#(by p.iyo p.icco -- their y.outube videos influenced mini ren's design and i plan to give that credit once i post final pics#along with the person who made the 10cm doll base i used.)#and it took so much effort and i kept thinking about how Fucking Tired i am and how frustrating it is that playing cards w family#means i have to spend 2 days recovering bc sitting up + in a chair w no good support + mental games + being social = negative battery.#and then i keep going in circles about ren's backstory and the whole 'this is a story about conditions i have but for anyone#who doesn't know me it DEFINITELY reads like a gross story about a stigmatized condition i DON'T have so i have to tread#very carefully when writing about it... but i don't practice writing like i practice art so i'm simply not at the skill level#to navigate that and it makes me feel like i can't post any of that until i figure it out' Thing...#but i DID finish my plushie pattern. and i will start on it sometime this week? depending on Factors? and if i reeeeally like how it#turns out i might buy The Plushie Making Fabric™... i checked at a craft store and buying 1/4yd of both fabrics won't break the bank...#and then i could make all of his AU selves w different expressions 😏#anyway. recovery officially starts in a few days (doc appts and pest control coming over this week + dogsitting in a few days.#not great for recovery lol lmao.) so hopefully i'll be more Around here by this weekend. idk. don't hold me to that kjsndkjn#i might get sucked into plushie making again and disappear for 3 days straight kjsdnfkjsdnf ;;;#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]
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retconning stroud out of the deep roads so i can shove laure amell and the hawke siblings and varric and anders all into the same little camp. they would all have such a bad time
#carver: dying of blight. with an inferiority complex. but mostly dying#danie: MY BROTHER!!! MY BABY BROTJER HELP HIM!!!!!#anders: oh god oh fuck. wait a minute. i recognize this area. isnt this where the commander should be? oh hell#varric: we are all going to 🪦die⚰️ in a 🕳 hole. not even a GOOD hole#warden commander laure amell of ferelden and amaranthine: oh. anders. glad you're not dead or a darkspawn but Why The Fuck Are You Here#anders: oh hell. uh.#warden commander laure amell of ferelden and amaranthine: actually shut up. darkspawn incoming. its too open here so follow me to camp#'uh- commander-' 'shut it. there are shrieks about. this is a nasty area to be in with non-wardens' [glaring disapprovingly]#they awkwardly walk to camp. sigrun and a couple other wardens are there. they all sit down & drop their stuff#amell sits on a stump and pulls out a corked bottle. pops the cork. sniffs it. takes a swig. her white hair almost seems to glow?#she coughs then asks anders 'so why *are* you this far in the deep roads with a band of nonwardens? how'd you even get here?'#anders pulls out the map and hands it over. she looks at it. her expression darkens. she rolls up the map and says 'Anders.' he looks up.#she whaps him on the head with the map and gripes 'do you have ANY idea how long I spent looking for these fucking maps?!' whap 'you dick!'#she whaps him one more time then stuffs the maps into her bag. 'that still doesn't tell me WHY you're here. out with it.'#varric speaks up: 'my asshole brother locked us in a thaig. we came down on an expedition and found an idol that he betrayed us for'#amell frowns. 'a *thaig*? there aren't any records in the shaperate of any out this far. this isn't even a main branch of the deep roads.'#'it could be ancient!' sigrun offers 'or an unsavory secret the shaperate 'lost'. like Caridin?' amell nods & turns back to varric.#'so you're looking for a way out.' they nod. 'and just happened to come by this way?' anders says 'no commander- we need your help.'#amell takes another swig of her bottle. her hair is definitely glowing slightly. 'who *doesn't* these days. but for a pair of old friends-'#she winks at anders. 'what is it you need?' danie interrupts. '-please- my brother is sick- if you can't help him he'll die!'#amell looks at hawke then at carver. gets up and steps over to him. kneels in front of him and unceremoniously grabs his face#tilts his chin up (carotid + jugular blackened) peels his eyelid back (sclera greying and bloodshot) pries open his mouth (tongue greying)#then releases his head and stands shaking her hands. 'oh yeah. that's blight for sure. this is why you sought me out?' anders nods.#'we'll take him. but you know- he may not survive the joining.' 'any chance is better than letting him die!' 'i agree.' amell says coolly.#'youre lucky. we can do it here but the prep will take time. rest. eat. be on your guard. and DO NOT touch my whiskey if you're not a mage.'#it takes like a day of prep. also no one has used amell's name so they havent figured out the Cousins thing yet#eventually amell pulls carver over to the fire and hands him a cup of the joining potion and says 'you get one warning. *don't flinch.*'#he drinks it. he lives. but he's unconscious. amell sends the party on their way#to anders: here. i found this not long after you left. *hands him the phylactery* you and justice be careful. it's getting chaotic out there#to hawke: for what it's worth im sorry. if ever you need the wardens' assistance i grant it under the authority of warden-commander amell
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i know some people already pointed it out but like. eddie was in black. BLACK. he was in LITERAL MOURNING CLOTHES. he was already mourning. already prepared for the worst.
#buddie#crying about this is not enough i need to jump off a building.#no cause THIS hurts so bad actually now that i think about it cause if u had a loved on in hospital in critical condition u KNOW this#feeling so intimately where u think u already lost time. that time frame before the confirmation where u cant help but to wear black cause#u dont know what else u could possibly do and doing anything else feels impossibly#its such a simple thing really to wear a specific color but it feels like equivalent of giving up. in the days leading up to my#grandmothers death i wore nothing but black all the way to her funeral which i couldn't attend. god i understand him so bad.#god i love him so much he was already prepared for the worst he's so familiar with grief he just knew. im so glad he didn't to lose buck#but also just that whole entire scene. how the moment he knew chris was secure he turned away and wipped a hand down his face and the#moment he started to speak his eyes filled with theirs bc its just so much easier to hold it together when u r silent#like OF COURSE we didn't get a scene where eddie was only w buck OF COURSE like he couldn't even look at him he was only there bc of chris#cause he just couldn't face the possibility of losing buck. im so not well#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 6x11#911 spoilers#911 6b#jesus fuck the typos are embarrassing im so sorry
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homestuck fans when theres no rhyme or reason to the trickster designs and its literally just a jumbled mess of hideous colors and vague candy themes which means theres no consistency to analyze to help with making fan designs
#now imagine if you will a very distraught face. because i cant be bothered adding an image#ANYWAYSSSSSSS i wanted 2 try making one but god its just so hard bc theres so many fucking colors and i suck at coloring anyway#i tried analyzing them to the best of my abilities to see if there was any consistency i could go off of......... but no theres Nothing#the only thing is that their cheek swirls are the same color as their pestechum colors. and thats it#even the outfits are different it seems to be slightly altered versions of their original outfits?#like roxy was wearing her purple knit dress when she got bonked but it was still her original outfit afterwards#their hair colors dont make sense their shoe colors dont make sense their head ornaments make a LITTLE sense..........#jakes and dirks are the most obvious. pumpkin and orange soda its like their thing i guess#janes being a muffin makes sense cuz crockercorp baker etc etc#roxys makes the least sense...... i dont think there was ever any mention of cotton candy for her aside from when caliborn wanted his weird#smut to be color coordinated for whatever reason#whenever i make otufits its usually just varying shades of the same 3 or so colors so trickster designs are a nightmare#even my old trickster mode trollsona was like. 3 colors total LOL#not to mention i wanted to make this design for my trollsona. and we only ever saw humans in trickster mode#and looking at older fanart didnt help cuz everyone had decided unanimously that the canon designs sucked ass (they did)#and in the future we should all give each character a food or somthing similar to base the whole design off of (good decision)#blehh. i give up its too much of a pain-_-#anyway. maybe i really am sick i think i need to lay down#already slept literally all day but im still so tired..........#i took painkillers and allergy meds in case of cat hair on bed but i still feel groggy as fuck#well whatever. itll probably go away soon i never really stay sick for long
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#ok guess what fuckers youre going to be on another tag ramble adventure with me#ive been afflicted with the same images in my brain tumbling around and the only way to free my brain is to write them out#and anyways i have been contemplating wol au uri for a bit due to various reasons (he came up and then i got this image and couldnt be free#shb with uri as the wol is. after killing vauthry. he is SO fucked up that raha STILL wont just let him die#he was supposed to have raha send him to the rift with the light and let him die there but now that he cant stop him rahas taking it himsel#and theres the whole. 'no we really cannot have the wol die.' thing.#that makes it infinitely worse to uri. him just yelling through blood to let him die! let him have his turn! he WANTS to die!#the idea of bring told that the wol CANT die makes it so much more unfair to him#'you wouldnt know what to do if i died? i didnt know what to do for years after louisoux died! i still dont know what to do without moenbry#da! papalymo can sacrifice himself and everyone adapts! shtola has thrown herself to the lifestream twice! minfilia died! i had to stay sil#ent and let ryne choose her own path if she died or not! i cant tell people that i would be lost yet everyone gets to tell ME that?#do you think i am better than them do you think them worth less why do they have the right to die and i do not!'#he is SO SO SO much worse as a wol and it falls out in one outburst after hes quizzed as to why he thought he could sacrifice himself#but he also realizes that its really fucked up to say that aloud so yknow. yknow what. yknow.#hell bottle up all his feelings and then one day hell either die or start crying and it looks like he aint allowed to die!#he still takes the aid from ardbert at amaurot with the statement that#'if i dont try and save who i might then ill never be able to face moenbryda'#anyways cannot stop thinking about me giving uri the echo like 'this will be funny!' and hes just 'my life has become infinitely worse'#HEAD IN MY HANDS
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Watched the dnd movie at last today and ironically I’m inspired to do a human AU for all 3 of us and it goes somethin like: Kalec is an accountant who works from home and owns his own business ever since his old boss for the place died and his son got caught up in a lawsuit and Kalec somehow ended up winning the place so he’s doing good, Wrathy plays every system there is to his advantage, and utilizes his large group of online colleagues who’s alias is The Blacktalons to influence the stock market exactly like how they did it with GameStop, he’s also pretty fluent with code and has been permanently banned from every casino in California due to tampering the machines. As for me? Heh. I’m a tradeswoman/repair lady who is always available for whenever 2 cute boys need a new shelf installed or someone to fix their front door because it swung open and broke or fix the cabinet that one of them tried to fix with the repair box under the sink but the screwdriver didn’t work and then the other one tried and they got frustrated and punched the plywood door clean through and it turned out they were using a Philips on a flathead and then maybe I offer to fix their leaky windows for a can of peaches
#Booksmart and streetsmart? Meet toolsmart.#but yeah Wrathy fucks up the front door one day and it hits him in the face breaking instantly and Kals like yeah that’s. that’s broken.#I’ll call Sombody tomorrow and next day Wrathy goes out and Kal looks at it and while he’s looking at nearby handymen he notices a shadow#over him and he turns around and sees me there with my overalls and bandanna’d hair up in a bun n he jumps a lil in suprise#turns out I saw what happened last night and thought he might need some help#and he’s a little flabbergasted at how cute I am and he is like oh definitely I would hate to be a burden but I could use the help#and I’m tinkerin away while he goes back inside to text his boyfriend about how cute their neighborhood repairlady is#and it’s all fluffy cliche from there baybee#shiny speaks#🖤👑do you trust me? 👑🖤#💙✨this must be magic✨💙
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#i think. maybe ill go to bed before 8 tonight#bc my brain. i can't deal with it. and im tired#but i should not do that bc i have things i need to do#like. theres an application due the 11th. but fuck it i might not send it bc fucking whats the point#why has it become so impossible to function? i mean. i kno why but its still annoying#and its like so crazy bc i just feel like im curled up on the floor with the broken pieces of my life and nothing terribles even happened#from an outside perspective its perfectly fine and good my insides have just rottef out#like i had to spend most of today plotting an experiment and i feel bad bc im just so. im so worried that looking after yhis thing is going#to hurt. its going to drain away hours of my time. i dont kno how long it take to deal with every single day for 2 weeks#ill have to water it at 7 and 5 and take measurements all day probably and im very worried about the amount of damage thats going to do#when it already feels like i should b careful where i step. and i feel bad bc im prob such a bummer to hang around like im so sullen faced#and i just dont care. like we had to make a decision bc we could do one thing or another and it would b answering 2 diff questions#and my boss was like. well which do u find most interesting. and i just. i dont care im more concern with the amount of psychic damage this#will inflict upon me so i just dont really give a fuck and that makes me so sad bc like at one point this probably would have been fun#and now im just bitter and it hurt and i jusr want to lay down and not get up#and im like how the fuck am i supposed to find a phd position when the enthusiasm for what i do now has completely burned thru me?#like hi yes r u looking for a new student? im dizzy and my life is falling apart even tho everythings my brains just on fire#but ya kno i think id b an asset to your lab! sigh... itll b fine i kno it will bc it has to b#ill visit the school i wanna go to. hopefully not make myself look like too much of an unstable moron and then leave this place#dragg my bleeding soul across the country to shrivel up in a different area code#somethings gotta give but lets hope it waits a couple months ya kno#ugh. im just tired. i should sleep. i didnt sleep enough last night. and i didnt relax on the weekend so ive got that i don't kno what day#it is type of vertigo. but tomorrow will b better. it will bc i dont want it to b worse#unrelated#i just want to study things that made me feel something. y doesn't that have to b so hard?#let me study slime. endless days alone with the green goo
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what’s some good news from this week?
-🌸
🤔
#hmmmm let’s seeeeeee#well the first one that comes to my mind which will be LIFE CHANGING IF IT HAPPENS#I think where I’m living weed is close to being legalized#it still has a few places to go through#but it’s a LOT closer than it ever has been!#and if weed is legalized that would be a GAME changer#it’s also been super sunny and it’s getting nice out so that’s always a plus#OH OH OH#also I think I’m going to be staying over at my dog sitting place in June and July and I’m SO EXCITED#a place to myself again?!?!#I get to smoke and paint and take pics and do whatever the fuck I want ALSO ILL BE WITH MAYAAAAA#also also alsooooo I might be able to dogsit for one of my neighbors dogs soon too!#of course it lands on the same day that I’m taking care of maya but I think the timing might work out?#obviously maya comes first#but omg if I’m able to take care of Murphy (neighbors dog) I would be SO HAPPY#Murphy is honestly the cutest fucking dog I have EVER SEEN#I don’t think I’ve ever met a golden retriever in real life and holy shit he doesn’t even know me but he LOVES ME#I was talking to his owner the other day about the dogsitting and everything#and I was giving him pets and love and he was twirling and looking up at me and kept kissing me literally all over#my face my thighs everywhere he could reach he is SO CUTE AND SO FULL OF LOVE AHHHHHHHH#some happy moments from my week 😌#thanks for asking lovely!!!#do you have any good news or happy moments you would like to share?? 🥰🥰#ask#🌸 anon
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