#a place to myself again?!?!
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what’s some good news from this week?
-🌸
🤔
#hmmmm let’s seeeeeee#well the first one that comes to my mind which will be LIFE CHANGING IF IT HAPPENS#I think where I’m living weed is close to being legalized#it still has a few places to go through#but it’s a LOT closer than it ever has been!#and if weed is legalized that would be a GAME changer#it’s also been super sunny and it’s getting nice out so that’s always a plus#OH OH OH#also I think I’m going to be staying over at my dog sitting place in June and July and I’m SO EXCITED#a place to myself again?!?!#I get to smoke and paint and take pics and do whatever the fuck I want ALSO ILL BE WITH MAYAAAAA#also also alsooooo I might be able to dogsit for one of my neighbors dogs soon too!#of course it lands on the same day that I’m taking care of maya but I think the timing might work out?#obviously maya comes first#but omg if I’m able to take care of Murphy (neighbors dog) I would be SO HAPPY#Murphy is honestly the cutest fucking dog I have EVER SEEN#I don’t think I’ve ever met a golden retriever in real life and holy shit he doesn’t even know me but he LOVES ME#I was talking to his owner the other day about the dogsitting and everything#and I was giving him pets and love and he was twirling and looking up at me and kept kissing me literally all over#my face my thighs everywhere he could reach he is SO CUTE AND SO FULL OF LOVE AHHHHHHHH#some happy moments from my week 😌#thanks for asking lovely!!!#do you have any good news or happy moments you would like to share?? 🥰🥰#ask#🌸 anon
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the Solver of the Absolute Fabric, the Void, the Exponential End acting like an entitled toddler is the funniest thing
#i havent drawn j proper in like half a year#and dd j in over a year. my gods#ill figure her out eventually. or ill forget she exists for another year who knows#her haircut is so goddamn hard to draw thank you liam for giving her like no screen time actually#regressed my style a bit. didnt like the more rounded approach it was going#give her a gameboy or something im sure they have a port for it#art#murder drones#murder drones j#serial designation j#murder drones cyn#murder drones flesha#murder drones skyn#skyn sounds cooler but flesha rolls off the tongue better. divorce leads children to the worst places#cw blood and gore#for flesha. shes got that aura#dont mind the semi cursive again i literally cannot read it myself unless its like this#how do you even draw a cursive f. thats not a letter thats a scribble
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Ooh, you want to know what happens at the gay bar run by ex-pirates, ooh...You'll just have to read Tiger Tiger to find out...
(Inspired by this Disco Elysium comic)
#tiger tiger#remy bonnaire#Arno#jamis arlesi#f slur mention#(Remy is allowed to say it. Jury is still out on Jamis though.)#I love that disco elyisum comic so much. I have it saved in several places so I can find it to show people. I lost it once. Never. Again.#Hard lesson about redrawing/heavily referencing a beloved comic is that you will feel so inferior to its genius.#I did my best but I feel like I didn't hit the high notes I wanted. Such is art!#At the end of the day I have to remind myself that I'm still on a journey and not every piece is going to be my best.#Yeah I'm still on my Tigers propagana train. Toot Toot. All abord or perish to the Tigers.#I hear tigers are running the Olympics this year. That's right. It's tigers all the way down.#Obscure references aside; time to talk tigers spoilers:#I was absolutely losing my mind at Remy taking Jamis to the Starfall. He did *not* expect to be in a gay bar.#Jamis is our beloved bisexual lad but I don't think he's fully in tune with it yet.#How down right unfortunate that he is also the hottest cub in the room. Will he realize? What will he realize? Who Knows!#Thank you to everyone who checked out Tiger Tiger from my recommendations!#And thank you to my fellow Tigers fans for receiving my comics with open arms. Next comic will be about Rat Man.
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i think more people need to realize that the circumstances of how jason todd died would make him deeply untrusting of not only other people, not only himself and his own instincts, but specifically other people's proclamations of what they feel about/for him and how he reacts to that in turn
#personal#jason todd#like personally if a major formative moment in my life was trusting someone when they said they cared about me#and taking them at their word on an important topic#only for them to be flat out lying and then say that it's MY fault for trusting them in the first place#which then leads into a series of events that are both physically and mentally incredibly traumatic#i'm not trusting anyone who says anything about how they feel about me ever again#and i'm not trusting my own reactions or my own instincts in response to people either#(also god i forgot what a victim blaming BITCH sheila haywood was i hate dc retconning aditf to try and make it jason's fault)#anyway i'm done batman posting for the day or i'm gonna start pissing myself off
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it's kind of baffling to me that entire sub-groups of queer folks endured a decade of being singled out and targeted for being asexual, aromantic, bisexual, pansexual, nonbinary, polyamorous, etc. and i have yet to see any substantial apologies from people who were directly responsible for causing genuine harm. i find it completely bizarre that there are so many people who want to sweep their past contributions to widespread lateral aggression toward specific queer groups under the rug like it didn't happen so they can wash their hands of it... there are people who are irreversibly traumatized because of this. there are people who took their lives because of it.
i'm wording the post like despite the fact that exclusionism targeting these groups (and more) continues to persist partly because it was a really frighteningly common trend to harass people just because they were ace, aro, bi, pan, nonbinary, poly, etc... and it's crazy to me that many of the people who were affected by this massive multi-pronged public online bullying campaign against the 'unacceptable types of queers' are the ones still receiving messages like "my url got put on an aphobe blocklist in 2016 because apparently a post i made making fun of asexuals got some teenage asexuals harassed and i still distrust asexuals to this day because of that" ...are you fucking kidding me?
we will never achieve any kind of unity as a queer community while we are insisting upon ignoring the hurt that lateral aggression has caused, and acting like the burden lies on the shoulders of the people who were harmed to forgive the people who harmed them and 'just move on', many of whom are not sorry for what they did! or they don't consider what they did to be wrong! how is that not deeply disturbing and troubling to more of you?
03/06/2024 edit: i’m putting a complete moratorium on this post because i am really sick and tired of having my point not only completely misconstrued and distorted entirely but also weaponized against transfems (particularly in replies i have decided to delete about how “ugh yes, exclusionism, and now transfems are bullying transmascs”) i find that really sickening and i’m demanding that it stop, and i can make it stop by turning off reblogs. so i have.
my objective in writing this post was never to request an apology from people who have been laterally-aggressive exclusionists in the past. i don’t think we’ll ever get more than a handful of apologies from those people, anyway. my point was that it was pretty terrifying to witness and experience a lot of lateral aggression that transferred from the real, in-person world to the deeply online spaces back into the real, in-person world in a really fucked up feedback loop and being a young queer person during this time and having that shape me, snd shape the experiences of my queer friends who have been traumatized by it.
however, it is absolutely unacceptable to me that the issue of transmisogyny is so blatantly overlooked by our entire community. for decades, transfems have experienced oppression and exclusion from transmisogyny-exempt women and queers. their exclusion from political queer liberation movements has caused many of the major schisms within our community we are still having arguments about to this day. if you want collective queer liberation, you must uplift transfems. there is no other option. you don’t get to write off all transfems just because one person who happened to be transfem was mean to you online or something.
i have answered and responded to way too many conspiracy-brained transmisogynist reactionaries to allow this post to keep fucking snowballing with people writing paragraphs in the tags about “transmisandry” or “transandrophobia.” please get your heads out of your asses.
this absolutely is the transmisogyny website, as always, and the place where all basic textual comprehension skills go to die, apparently.
#and we wonder why the fuck this site has such a massive transmisogyny problem#don't think i wasn't there when you were harassing and bullying my pan and aspec transfem friends#the way that trans people with any of these labels were excluded from being 'allowed' to call themselves queer...#literally on that basis. and had their transness ignored completely or invalidated.#i hope we're at a place now in 2024 where we can remember and accept that trauma happening online doesn't make it less traumatic#the damage that it did to so many of my friends and myself to be told over and over again we didn't count as queer#while actively being abused and beaten and harassed by queerphobes in our real day to day lives#extra especially for those of us who had to grow up rurally and/or disabled whose portal/lifeline to queer culture of any kind was online
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and they were galpals
#oh i am SO predictable#alternative captiob to this post: welll... good luck babes!#but idk if the dndadders like chappel roan☹️#also lawl this is gonna sound SO stupid but as a lesbian this is. so INSANELY important to me😭#i will write so much fanfiction#for the firsy time in my life#i will write an essay anf publish it when s3 ends#if theyre not canon i will cry myself to sleep until the day i die#dndads#dungeons and daddies#apple pie#IDK I SAW SOMEONE PITCH THAT AD THEIR SHIP NAME AND A PART OF ME MELTED#Kelsey Grammar#is it with an e or an a?? nobody knows#Trudy Trout#someone notify my asap whrn we collectively agree on a ship name#the peachyville horror#peachyville#love them so so so much#god dammit they did it again#hey siri play heaven is a place on earth and do it NOW#me and my girl when we're literally trudy and kelsey
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Maybe i SHOULD draft out my ‘Clark is a SuperPlant’ propaganda post
#chattin#due to. recent tags that resonated w me#im already someone that loathes the ‘theyre completely alien AND they conveniently look AND function exactly the same as a human’ trope#esp when they have the nerve to make them PROCREATE w humans wo any defects whatsoever#ur lying ur unimaginative u suck !!!!#so my compromise is always like#fine. the point is that they have to blend in very well. i will concede on that front#but god as my witness i will make him so fucked up internally.#u should xray him and see a fucking mess of organs pumping in bizarre places#things that let him see things w a microscopic lens#things that let him exist in a vacuum bc he doesnt need to Breathe#u should get him in a red sun room and realize hes still able to exist unharmed in a vacumm and go hey man. what the fuck .#going to reach max tags bc i never seem to behave myself no matter what im yelling about#i need bruce to sit down and finally read whatever kryptonian text is floating around#and realize clark- despite his mammalian appearance- is far more linked to plants than anything else#a plant w TEETH and EYES and somehow became a predator instead of staying as a plant#HOWWW did u evolve into what u are now? what did ur ancestors look like??? a daisy???#if u look at any kryptonian species youd see that all of them behave like clark- like they all evolved in a similar way#saw a post (i GOTTA find it again) that said that clark is brownskinned which seems a little silly when u compare it to human melanin#but that sunlight makes for a healthy kryptonian and their skin will show it#and paleskinned kryptonians are seeking out more sun and starving for it. like. ouuuu.#i wont add that to my own hcs but its that kinda shit i love sooo much#get so caught up on trying to make him human in ur eyes that u end up misunderstanding him entirely#love him#xenobio#for tagging
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GET DUN(meshi)
#i am once again learning editing for evil#kept waiting for someone to put this music to this scene but i couldn't find it#have to do everything myself#i know people have 'get downed' chilchuck before so i'm honor bound to add to it#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#chilchuck#get down meme#geddan#delicious in dungeon is still a stupid name for it#thank you to all the people compiling clips of the episode on yt#as that is the only place i know how to rip vids from#because i am uncultured#makenna made a video#volume warning#video#chilchuck tims
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Going to get into the habit of carrying my journal everywhere w me bc I truly want to soak up every snapshot of this transitional period where I’m just a 22 year old girl finding my footing and the only thing I’m tied to are the decisions I make and the path I carve for myself
#No friends no family no bf no professor no nobody pressuring me to make choices#Just me and my whims for this short period of time before I matriculate and everything becomes regimented and I’m following someone else’s#Plan again#I don’t plan to be aimless bc a lot of plans are set in place for this in between time period and I only intend to iron them out w time#But this truly is the freest I think I’ll ever be and to be scared of that is insane#Accepting advice and acknowledging expertise are important but ultimately I will make the decisions at the end of the day#And that is so exciting and truly the most freedom I’ve had#Like not answering to anyone but myself now is a dream come true
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#cw pregnancy#ts4#ts4 gameplay#sims 4 gameplay#postcard legacy challenge#postcard: gen4#art’s a style influencer. in my head he works for a successful magazine in sanmy#as of right now he’s doing whatever he can remotely but he’ll have to go back to his place eventually#which is something they haven’t really talked about#he wants to be able to relocate to the del sol branch (which to me is like a 45min drive from chestnut ridge)#changed art’s tattoos. i’ll probably change them again bc i realized how don’t like the red as much. so mind your business if he gets#different tattoos again 🫵🏽😡#i’ve also been thinking if art is short for something. if i’m playing and he’s doing something i don’t want him to i find myself calling him#out his government name 😭 which is arthur to me#sim: karlee kamealoha#art by bonneblah
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Leo getting hit with a truth curse but instead of forcing him to admit to super sad or worrying things it’s things like “it was me who broke the remote” “I saw Mikey prank Donnie and helped hide it because it’s way funnier if he didn’t know who it was” “I rip my clothes to look more like Raph’s because he’s really cool” “my stripes aren’t even red they’re pink!”
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#plot twist he COULD be admitting angsty stuff but he’s pushing the less oof truths forward instead on purpose#raph: hey leo what do you want for dinner#leo: *about to bare his soul on all his internal torment but pivots* I’m afraid of snakes#(no but fr Leo’s stripes being technically more pink instead of red is cute ngl)#(a very reddish pink to the point that in certain lighting it looks red but at the base they’re p pink)#(i also am very fond of the idea that Leo doesn’t just have questionable taste in fashion he also just loves Raph a lot and looks up to him)#but yeah I think that something like this would be 99% Leo admitting to unimportant things or admitting to how much he values everyone#like they all KNOW Leo loves them and he’s talked them up enough for them to know but it’s different when he’s like#‘I just wanna read my comics with you guys around - it’s my favorite place to be’#or again just random bs that doesn’t REALLY have a lot of weight like#‘I like using my portals to prank random people around the world’#‘I’m worried about being a bad influence on hueso jr’#‘sometimes I kinda wanna see hypno’s plans succeed’#‘it’s been way too long since I found this out and honestly it’s embarrassing but I actually don’t have a di-‘#SORRY COULDNT HELP MYSELF#(<-but did u know that that pink rather than red observation actually ties into this headcanon as well if u know about red eared sliders)
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DONT REPOST THIS thanks
#home#mine#turning reblogs off and taking it out of tags for a while#i might just delete it#it feels fucking dehumanizing none of you were here nobody knows what happened in these walls#even the people who live there now who probably trashed the place#neither did the people who took that grand piano out in pieces#none of you will ever understand how much i lost when they took me from here#that little girl is dead shes fucking dead and im living in some cruel imitation of her#and every time ive tried to kill myself its been so i could go home again#but i cant ill nevet go home shell never go home home isnt real anymore#r
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If you were truly as evil as you like to paint yourself, you would've done that. Nah. That's the trouble with you lot. You don't just see things in black and white. Sometimes, you've just gotta blur the edges.
#goodomensedit#goedit#good omens#good omens spoilers#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable husbands#edits#tusermyra#jameszmaguire#the parallels were sick and twisted#sick and twisted i tell you#the unadulterated joy on aziraphale's face throughout the whole season every time he saw crowley#contrasting SO MUCH with the post-kiss confusion/pain#i literally wanna kword myself cause david and michael really gave us everything in terms of performance#it was a crescendo with the perfect peak#heaven once again confirmed most toxic work place in the universe#rs: hereditary enemies
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RULES OF BEING OTHERKIN #1
Being authentic and true to yourself is the only way you are 'supposed to be/act like' (insert entity). If anyone else disagrees it only tells you about them.
#going to start a small 'series' where I document stuff I learn that is otherkin specific. This is for myself as well as anyone who might#be struggling with things I used to/am working on(otherkin specific). hopefully this will reduce any mental pitfalls other otherkin may#fall into as they explore their identity and help out someone.#this 'rule' took a LONG time to fully understand and grasp. for the longest time I would consciously or subconsciously#think I was less Loki if I did or was something 'Loki would never do. until i realized I do exactly and experience exactly what Loki does#and experiences because...Im literally Loki. (talking about incarnations here). I felt pressured to be a certain way because 'Loki would#never (insert). being aroace is on of them. i tried to convince myself I wasn't aroace#and when I finally ran out of reasons i felt i was 'less Loki' because mythologically hes like the opposite. but Loki IS aroace. because#Im Loki. and Im aroace. so loki is SUPPOSED to be aroace because Im loki and im being exactly how loki is being. because im loki. being#myself. therefore being exactly like Loki. again - incarnation.#anyway....if anyone else struggles with this I hope this helps someone. its a really sucky place to be in honestly.#godkin#deitykin#alterhuman#otherkin#divinekin#nonhuman#alterbeing#therian#I think I will be learning a LOT more as I keep exploring and I will note down any 'rules' I learn - more like lessons but rules personally#sound more right for me. rules i will live by (yknow unless i find out im wrong but...im going to trust myself more and right now i feel#like this rule is true. so im using it as such unless i find out im wrong in future.
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Based on my favorite gif lately
#my art stuff#digital art#baldurs gate 3#bg3#astarion#batstarion#once again specifying this is a spawn astarion with some sort of wild shape thing#bat#good morning#gif#I’ve been in such a weird place mentally about art lately#I just keep stopping myself from drawing things cus I want to draw Astarion -#- but fsr my brain decided I draw him wrong and thus makes it pointless to even start#bat form is fine - I have no problems with it. But in his normal form? no can do buckaroo.#It’s one part why I haven’t shared much art lately - I don’t get happy enough about the “quality”#then just don’t share it as a result - in turn making me feel worse because I’m not posting - making me doubt myself more - etc etc#idk man - I got way too giddy earlier today cus someone could tell this was Astarion - even though this isn’t even the version of him I -#- feel insecure about#I keep seeing these artists making more realistic art and cool comics and interactions - most of which are shaded really beautifully -#- and all I can think about is how I CAN’T do that - even if it wouldn’t fuck me up mentally#I just put too much stress on my ability to create realism and I keep “failing” at doing that (by actively avoiding it for my own health)#idk man - I just wish I felt better about Astarion’s stupid chin OTL
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the matrix: revisited (2001)
things that made me smile
#the matrix#thematrixedit#the matrix revisited#behind the scenes#keanu reeves#laurence fishburne#carrie anne moss#hugo weaving#lana wachowski#lilly wachowski#the wachowskis#paul goddard#robert taylor#mygifs#matrixgifs#this whole documentary is on youtube in a variety of places. def recommend watching it if you are a fan and haven't seen it#i had not! and i've kinda watched it like 3 times now in the process of figuring out what gifs i wanna make#i saw the matrix in the theater a handful of times and have watched it a whole bunch of times again since#so i was incredibly tickled to find this unknown-to-me big long doc on my favorite (maybe can i commit to that???) movie#so i have some more serious/interesting stuff i wanna gif too that i had to force myself not to include in this set#and if i wasn't already enamored enough with laurence lol this sealed the deal. i just love listening to him and watching him work#there's a moment too when laurence calls hugo by his full name too which made me laugh. he's a full name person!
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