#could be romantic could be not! there is plenty of gay tension here true true

[astros-arts-inthestars]

"Are you gonna try to kill me by yourself this time?"

Guys I'm back in the building again. Guys HELP

Anyways hiii look these are my Wild Life designs heheheeee finally caved to wolf Pearl .... also mechanic Gem 🧡🧡🧡

[clericbyers]

Hiya, saw this video on tiktok about st being queerbait, im only on s1 can you tell me if its actually queerbait?

well . that's a bit of a complicated question and it all depends on how v2 and the last season decides to end things. what we do know for sure is that there are queer characters (robin, lesbian and will, gay) and they each have their own romances going on (robin and vicky, though that may just be a throwaway reference in contrast to steve's romantic struggles, and will and mike, the latter i'll speak to more).

i wont spoil you of the story, as i still believe s2 is the best and though i personally dislike s3 and s4 isnt finished yet, they of course each have plenty to contribute to the story of stranger things. now, the claim that st is queerbait is an interesting thing. queerbaiting occurs not just in the context of the show's characters but the people involved in it is as well. from actors to directors, to writers and producers, everything that goes into telling and marketing a story that puts emphasis on a queer romance between two characters that never resolves—or resolves in the direction of denying either character being queer, is queerbaiting.

right now, there is explicit tension between will and mike and the development of their friendship. s4 has pretty much deliberately shown us that any previous readings people had about will's sexuality and in particular, his crush on mike, are true. mike on the other hand, well, that's far more up to interpretation than will, but i'm firmly biased in the direction of mike being closeted and s4-5 showing us him coming to terms with his feelings.

the queerbait here would be between mike and will because the show has given us a lot of evidence that will's feelings are real and that even mike's are too. st4 really hammered that in imo, and you can tie that in with the promotions for the show—the interviews cast has given that include talk about mike and an emotional monologue, mike kicking into gear when someone he loves is in danger, will having a crush on someone in the party, etc etc . it doesn't make any narrative sense for this duo to not be a reciprocated crush. if they arent, despite all that's been said and done between the writing, the parallels mike and will have in comparison to other romantic "endgame" couples, the interviews and vague hints, then that would be queerbaiting.

but until it is set in stone that the story will essentially shoot itself in the foot by ignoring mike and will's unique, different, special, honestly romantic relationship, i don't think this is queerbait. but i can see how one might say it could be . but we're not there yet . we'll see in july for sure once everyone's reunited.

[themadlostgirl]

Treasure Hunt

*Some wholesome fun with a little Panlix tension to garnish*

~~~

We had new toys on the island. New to me anyway.

The Lost Boys and I crowded around the beach and stared out at the ship anchored on the horizon. Pirates.

Where they had come from or why there were here was a mystery to us. But one thing was for certain, they were certain to be fun. Peter ordered all of us back to camp while he spoke to the captain. Not that most of us listened anyway. We stuck around hiding at the entrance to the jungle to see what would happen.

A single rowboat came ashore with a trio of men. One was covered head to toe in tattoos, one was short and portly with a bright red hat, and the third I had to assume was the captain. He had a tall, dark, and dangerous look about him that I’m sure plenty of tavern wenches falling all over themselves.

“Holy shit,” the boy next to me muttered softly, gaze locked on the captain.

“Snap out of it, Teddy,” I slapped the back of his head, “What would Sanjit think if he saw you drooling over someone else?”

“I think he would understand.” Teddy shrugged, “Come on, even you have to admit the man looks great.”

“He looks good, I will give him that,” I peered closer, “Does he have a hook for a hand?”

“Nice,” Teddy grinned wider. I slapped him again.

Peter and the captain talked and argued before the captain and his men got back into their boat and left for their ship. Peter turned around and addressed us hiding in the trees. “You can come out now you disobedient tree stumps,”

Half of the boys fled at having been found out while the rest of us emerged. “So what brings them here?” I asked first.

“Youth and revenge, not the first time I’ve come across that salty sailor. Have to say, he has a lot more backbone as a pirate than he did when I first met him.” Peter said. “Captain Hook he calls himself now. Sounds much more fun than leftenant Jones.”

“Is the revenge he craves against you?” Felix asked. “I could see him blaming his brother’s death on you.”

“No. He’s upset about that for sure, but apparently the Dark One killed his lover and cut off his hand. That’s who he wants to get revenge against. Figured he would have more than enough time staying here while he concocted something. Idiot doesn’t even have a way back. It’s clear he didn’t think any of this through.” Peter scoffed with a smile. “His idiocy is our gain. Tell me, what do pirates always have?”

“Drinking problems?”

“Yes, but not what I was looking for.”

“Big hats.”

“No.”

“Terrible songs!”

“Treasure!” Peter snapped, “They have treasure!”

“Oh...that makes more sense.” I nodded. “What is treasure to us? Not like we have any shops to purchase things from using any of their shiny baubles.”

“True. But it means a great deal more to them.” Peter grinned. “Tomorrow morning, we’re gonna go on a treasure hunt.”

When we got back to camp those of us that stuck around informed the others about what had happened with Peter and the pirates. Many of them were excited about the idea of a treasure hunt. By the time dawn broke the camp was abuzz with anticipation.

“Morning everyone,” Peter greeted his camp, “Last night your fearless leader, me, snuck aboard the pirate’s ship and stole their chest of treasure right out from under their nose.” The camp whooped with cheer. Peter held up his hand to silence the boys. “I have now hidden it somewhere on the island. First person to find it is King for the day. That is...if any of you flopping codfish can find it.”

The boys jeered and raced off in all directions to find the treasure. I had started to run off with them when I remembered I didn’t have a weapon. Knowing the boys they would get violent and try to steal the treasure from one another when it was found. I needed something to defend myself with. I turned around to head back to the now abandoned camp.

I ducked into my tent to find a suitable weapon when I heard voices in the camp. I poked my head out and saw Felix and Peter were the only ones still around. I understood why Peter was still here but why was Felix?

“How long do you think they’ll be out searching for the treasure?” Felix asked Peter.

“They’ll search all day and probably into the night before giving up.” Peter laughed, “The whole time they’re digging around dark caves and in rotten tree trunks the chest is safely buried by the mermaid lagoon. None of them are going near there and even if they do none of them will think to start digging.”

“Maybe I should go dig it up then,” Felix said, “Let myself be crowned king for the day.”

“Now where is the fun in that? Let them struggle for a good while first.” Peter looked around the camp and I quickly closed the flap of my tent. I don’t think he would be too happy about my eavesdropping. “It’s nice to have some peace and quiet around here for once. The noise can get grating at times.”

“I understand that better than most,” Felix’s voice answered. “Even rarer that our Lost Girl isn’t hanging about. Seems she sticks around you more than usual.”

“Do I detect a hint of jealousy, Felix?”

“You’re not funny.”

“I’m hilarious and she’s a good friend.” Peter said. “I still cannot believe that you and those other idiots thought that we were interested in one another. As if I would actually even want to be with her.”

Okay. Ouch. And incorrect! He was the one that assumed that I was confessing my love to him the night I came out to him and said he was okay trying to have a romantic relationship with me. We agreed it wouldn’t work out between us after I told him I was gay but this was needless slander. Got to keep up appearances for the boys I suppose. Can’t let them know he actually considered me at some point. However brief it may have been.

“Not your type, huh?” Felix joked.

“No…” Peter said, “Has a lot of traits I do like. She’s straightforward, bloodthirsty, knows how to have fun, doesn’t take any of my shit, which is refreshing,”

“What are you talking about? I don’t take any of your bullshit either.” Felix said, his voice rising a tad.

“I know, Felix, that’s part of the reason I like you too.”

The camp was silent.

“You know, makes you a good friend too, a great second in command.” Peter continued after a beat.

“Good to know,” Felix sighed. “I’m going to refill my canteen.”

“Felix--”

“What?” Felix snapped at him. The harshness in his tone made even me freeze and it wasn’t even directed at me.

“Nothing…” Peter’s steps receded, “I’m going to go watch the boys run in circles.”

“Yeah, you do that.” Felix muttered before trudging off.

I waited a few more minutes before poking my head out to make sure the coast was clear. That was something. Those two have more issues than I thought. If they could get a nudge in the right direction--no! No! I am not getting myself involved in their problems.

I grabbed the sword I had come to retrieve and fled the camp. At the very least I know where the treasure is now! I ran towards the mermaid lagoon. It was deserted of Lost Boys but I could see the ripple in the water of the mermaids lurking right below the the surface, waiting and hoping I would venture closer so they could pull me down and drown me. I only made that mistake once when I was very new on the island. They were very pretty and I thought maybe they would be friendly towards a girl. I was soon proven how very wrong I was when one of them pulled me under the water and the Lost Boys had to come in and rescue me before I drowned.

Scanning the sand I found a patch that looked like it had been pretty recently disturbed. I started digging with my hands until I felt the solid weight of wood. I dug around it until the very top was uncovered. How was I supposed to get it out by myself? It was firmly stuck in the ground and getting it free by myself would be near impossible.

Maybe I could just grab something to prove that I had found it and cover it back up. I dug my hand down into the sand for the latch and pried it open. Inside laid a wealth of gold coins, gems, jewelry, and other shiny baubles. I stuffed a handful of coins and gems in my pocket and slid a pair of shining, jewel encrusted bracelets onto my wrists. That should be enough. I closed the lid and covered the chest once more. I decided to mess with the boys while waiting for it to grow later and dropped random coins and jewels around the jungle so they would think they were heading in the right direction.

By the time night fell the boys had returned to camp despondent. Some holding up the coins and jewels I had strewn about with a small amount of disdain. Peter was back to his jovial self but looked confused at the boys holding coins. Surely he hadn’t let anything fall out when he stole the chest.

That was my cue. I strolled into the middle of the camp and raised my glittering wrists to the sky. “Bow before your queen!”

“What?” Peter gaped at me. “There’s no way you found the chest!”

“Oh but I did,” I dug into my pockets and tossed the remaining coins I had onto the ground. “That chest was so big and heavy though I couldn’t take the whole thing myself but I think this is sufficient enough evidence.”

“Wait, were you the one leaving coins and jewels all over the island?” one of the boys pointed at me, accusingly.

“Duh,” I rolled my eyes, “I needed to have my own fun.”

“Never let it be said that I’m not a man of my word,” Peter gave an exaggerated bow, “Our dear Lost Girl shall be Queen for the day...or at least for the rest of the night.”

Some of the boys cheered, a lot more of the jealous boys booed. I didn’t care. I basked in the attention and laughed with the others at the silly antics the boys did to entertain their “queen” like court jesters. It was all in good fun, Peter even fashioned me a crown of sticks and leaves.

I pulled him over to dance with me. “So,” I spoke up to be heard over the pounding music, “How long till the pirates find out you stole their treasure and come to hunt us down for taking it?”

“Who knows,” Peter shrugged, “it’s sure to be fun though.”

I laughed along with him as the night grew late and my night of queendom came to an end. The game would begin again tomorrow but with the chest in a new spot. Looks as if I’ll actually have to hunt for it this time. Not a problem, I liked a good challenge.

[cto10121]

Does R&J Play With Gender Stereotypes?

So I came across this piece of meta by @hamliet that rather intrigued me:

There’s also another layer here: the imagery Romeo uses for Juliet (the sun) and that Juliet uses for Romeo (the moon) is the inverse of how imagery was typically presented in those days. The moon was feminine; the sun, masculine. Even if we look at Romeo and Juliet’s respective character traits, Romeo is the flighty, impulsive, love-struck one who cries all the time, while Juliet is the decisive, bold, and loyal one. That’s the first thing Juliet declares to Romeo in the balcony scene: that she will always be loyal, and she shows this in every choice she makes in the story.

Let’s break this down.

“the imagery Romeo uses for Juliet (the sun) and that Juliet uses for Romeo (the moon) is the inverse of how imagery was typically presented in those days. The moon was feminine; the sun, masculine.”

Romeo does indeed call Juliet the sun, but Juliet never calls Romeo the moon—or likens him with anything symbolically feminine, come to think of it. The closest she or the play gets is a small but clear association with night: Romeo has “night’s cloak to hide me from their eyes” and Juliet implores “loving, black-browed” night to give her her Romeo. Even then it is so that he can “make the face of heaven so fine / That all the world will be in love with night / And pay no worship to the garish sun.”

Instead, Juliet consistently uses the same love language of authority as Romeo does with her, calling him her lord, husband, knight, “day-in-night,” “mansion of a love,” “god of my idolatry,” and, (my particular favorite), “tassel-gentle” or “falcon.” “Pilgrim” is the lowest social rank she uses, but of course she is following Romeo’s pilgrim-and-saints flirtation and its wink-wink bilingual allusion to his name. Romeo’s use of “sun,” then, could be viewed in the context of both lovers conferring cosmic/earthly authority, beauty, ownership, and sovereignty to each other—the Elizabethan equivalent of calling each other wife/husband. And of course they begin doing that immediately after they marry.

Even if we look at Romeo and Juliet’s respective character traits, Romeo is the flighty, impulsive, love-struck one who cries all the time, while Juliet is the decisive, bold, and loyal one.

Definitely not. Romeo is plenty decisive and bold—making the first move in wooing Juliet, climbing the orchard wall, showing himself to Juliet, immediately agreeing to marry her, nearly killing himself when he thinks Juliet might not take him back and, er, actually killing himself for her. I wouldn’t say he is impulsive, either—though he makes decisions fairly quickly, it is almost always with some deliberation beforehand (“Can I go forward when my heart is here?” “Shall I hear more or shall I speak at this?” and his monologue after Mercutio’s exit) and of course there are instances in which he restrains himself (“I am too bold” and his monologue after Mercutio’s death). The most accurate description of Romeo is that he is a risk taker—at least when he is well and truly motivated. And even then it does not rob his deliberation or even his wits.

He is also not flighty. In fact, he proves just as loyal as Juliet—as soon as he meets her, he forgets about Rosaline and leaves her clear behind. He doesn’t once waver in his conviction that Juliet is for him and makes plans to die with her (and does!). His love for Rosaline is clearly framed by the narrative as shallow, performative, and passive, and the verse bears this out. He was never in any kind of relationship with Rosaline—his love was an unrequited crush that he was at perfectly liberty to have ditched, frankly. After that, it’s Juliet, Juliet, Juliet until he dies.

Also, once more, Romeo is no crybaby. He explicitly cries a total of two times—one even before the events of the play, when he pines over Rosaline under a grove of sycamore, and another when he’s 1) seen Mercutio get mortally wounded, 2) killed Tybalt, 3) learned that he is banished from the city, and 4) mistakenly believed that Juliet no longer wants him (the Nurse’s reply is vague enough to be misinterpreted); at the very least he is devastated to have been the cause of her pain. Anyone would break down in those circumstances. Juliet herself breaks down on hearing the news and arguably is more verbally vehement than Romeo—namely, that even the words “Romeo is banishèd” are worse than if herself, Romeo, her parents, and Tybalt were dead. She ends that monologue with a passive suicide threat: “And Death, not Romeo, take my maidenhead!” How anyone can argue Juliet isn’t as lovestruck as Romeo is beyond me.

What Shakespeare was most likely aiming for was showing the mutuality of R&J’s love with parallel scenes and even language. Both have chances to act strong, decisive, and bold, both show vulnerability and great emotion and passion, both are lovestruck. Both demonstrate so-called “masculine” and “feminine” traits, which is almost always culturally-and time-based, anyway. There are only a few key differences between the two—almost all of the above traits, however, they both share. It’s almost as if…Shakespeare understood that no man or woman had all masculine or all feminine traits.

Moving on to the conclusion:

In other words, Shakespeare was deliberately playing with gender and its stereotypes in the play, which gains an even more interesting layer to it when you consider that Shakespeare was himself almost certainly bisexual (his sonnets are preeeetty explicit). It’s not a patriarchal narrative; it can well be seen as a queer narrative in a patriarchal society. And it shouldn’t take two kids having to kill themselves to get society to realize how effed up it is. It isn’t an out-of-touch play, but instead one extremely relevant to our society 500+ years later. 

In other words, Shakespeare was deliberately playing with gender and its stereotypes in the play, which gains an even more interesting layer to it when you consider that Shakespeare was himself almost certainly bisexual (his sonnets are preeeetty explicit).

You just opened up 200+ years of fandom wank, OP. I’ll just do a quick sum-up.

The Sonnets are a complete mess. They are contradictory as hell, there is clearly more than one persona speaking, there is evidence that Shakespeare edited and revised them, evidence they were published with his permission, quite a few sonnets are based on pre-existing sources, and, most damnably of all, none of the most likely candidates for the so-called Fair Youth and Dark Lady fit the narrative of the Sonnets perfectly or even satisfactorily—if there is even a clear narrative to these things to begin with. Sonnets were artificial works whose clichés and conventions were heavily satirized in Shakespeare’s own works—Berowne’s own rant-y sonnet swearing he would never believe in love sonnets comes most readily to mind. They were usually not meant to denote an actual real-life relationship, although there was a kind of “game” in trying to figure out which parts are true and which ones fiction. At least one sonnet sequence had a completely fictional addressee (Fulke Greville, I think).

Shakespeare’s sonnets do break a lot of these rules and conventions, and radically, and as they seem to have been compiled over many years, they lend themselves to autobiographical speculation. But, as a bit of a poet myself, I feel this: No one writes 154 sonnets—plus a whole narrative poem!—to one lover or even multiple lovers. Poetry is much less personal than laypeople think. Outside the sonnets, Shakespeare is not linked to any man romantically, and, besides his wife, only to two women (unnamed citizen’s wife and Jane Devanant).

Even if we assume Shakespeare’s bi, though, that doesn’t mean R&J is a queer narrative, which brings us to…

It’s not a patriarchal narrative; it can well be seen as a queer narrative in a patriarchal society.

A queer narrative that has its lovers express their love through the language of heterosexual marriage (husband, lord, wife, lady, pilgrim/saint), and commit suicide by a chalice-and-blade symbolism that mimics heterosexual sex (Romeo drinking a “cup” of poison and Juliet stabbing herself with Romeo’s dagger. Freud couldn’t have done it better). If Shakespeare was thinking “gay allegory!!!” he would have had to at least change or erase the symbolism (straight coding?) of the double suicide, or have Juliet attribute to Romeo explicitly feminine imagery. He would have to have done some major plot rejiggering. He would have had to, in short, change the whole story.

(Unless by “queer narrative” you mean “anything that has an emotionally constipated male lead who doesn’t growl sexily and a female lead who doesn’t cry/faint at the drop of a hat.” That’d be most every narrative, lol.)

Also, I’m hard-pressed to think of love romances that are 100% patriarchal narratives, and those that do (Casablanca, maybe?) are not really true ones, anyway. Patriarchy inherently opposes all romances of love and sex, including heterosexual. It demands that men be raised as soldiers to kill enemies, slaughtered, and discarded, and women as chattel and land to be bought and sold. Marriage was that transferral of property. Having children is necessary, not out of love and care for them, but to propagate the species and create even more future warriors and womb incubators. It grudgingly accepts only (mostly straight and like maybe 1 or 2 gay) love narratives that can be subsumed into this narrow paradigm, but the tension of interpretation is always present. Ideally, it prefers to ignore, diminish, scorn and mock, or even suppress them. I suspect most people’s problems and discomfort with R&J stem from this pathology, this deep-seated unease over anything that touches on human experience patriarchy can’t quite control or subsume.

Shakespeare was obviously no lover of patriarchy (in his personal life, though…well, it’s debatable). His plays resist it greatly to various degrees, and R&J is no exception. R&J hews much closer to the reality of heterosexual love and love in general, which are informed by, though are not inherently tied to, patriarchy (as are gay relationships, sadly). Shakespeare is just being a good writer in throwing most of that rotten apple away; it doesn’t apply to what he was trying to do, anyway. R&J’s challenge to patriarchy, though, is heterosexual in nature.

And it shouldn’t take two kids having to kill themselves to get society to realize how effed up it is. It isn’t an out-of-touch play, but instead one extremely relevant to our society 500+ years later. 

True dat.

[aion-rsa]

Why You Should Watch Young Royals

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This article contains some spoilers for Young Royals. 

WIth an overabundance of teenage-oriented romance shows on television at the moment, it can be hard to conjure up a reason to watch yet another one. Every streaming service seems to have something in the genre to fit a need, whether that be a gay protagonist, a female hero, or an ensemble cast. It’s very difficult to stand out amongst the crowd because there are very few places left untapped in exploring adolescent life styles. 

Enter Young Royals, a Swedish-produced LGTBQ romance drama that was released on Netflix at the beginning of July. When Prince Wilhelm (Edvin Ryding) is sent to boarding school by the Queen after getting in some trouble at a nightclub, he feels out of his element and overwhelmed with expectations. His only reprieve from the rigidity of this environment comes when he meets Simon (Omar Rudberg), a kind and charismatic child of an immigrant mother. 

Prince Wilhelm and Simon’s burgeoning relationship eventually turns into one of the most evocative and explorative love stories in contemporary queer TV. A keen understanding from the writers and actors of what can make a show like this stand out amongst a repetitive crowd of competitors is what will hopefully lead to enough viewership for many more seasons. Here are some more reasons you should watch Young Royals.

The Teenagers Actually Look and Behave Like Teenagers

Far too often the young people in coming-of-age entertainment vehicles look, act, and feel a little too mature for actual teens to relate to on any sort of deeper level. The actors who are casted infamously have birth dates well before the people they are portraying on-screen (Darren Barnet, who plays 16 year old Paxton Hall-Yoshida on Mindy Kaling’s hit series Never Have I Ever, is a whopping 13 years older than his character!) Not only does this force an unrealistic standard of beauty on the viewers to live up to, it also breaks up the immersive quality that truly great TV possesses to transport us to different worlds that connect to our own.

Edvin Ryding is 18 and Omar Rudberg is 22. With faces spotted with pimples and makeup sparsely used to mask other superficial blemishes on the actors, the people in this show seem like they could show up at any secondary school in your neighborhood and fit right in. This provides an authenticity to the storytelling that you simply don’t get with the majority of teen romance media. Perhaps the reason for such realism is because European filmmakers strive for higher artistic standards when filming, shunning the degrading expectations of sexiness and maturity that directors in the United States have grown obsessed with. Whatever the reasoning behind it is, the show’s casting is a breath of fresh air. 

The Story Skips the Often-Redundant Coming Out Journey

I want to start by getting one thing very clear: the coming out journey is one of the most important tropes used in LGBTQ movies and television; I wrote a whole essay on how Love, Victor’s exquisite and heartfelt depiction of this plot point helped me come out of the closet in my own life. When done properly, this storyline can be both inspirational and important to the young queer community. The problem is that far too often the coming out process is the only focus, and all of the other dynamics of gay teenage life get shelved and under-examined. 

Young Royals gives you a negligible amount of hand-holding when it comes to spelling out the sexuality of the two protagonists: Simon mentions in one conversation with his dad that he is gay, and Wilhelm’s own musings are so focused on the former that we know immediately how smitten he is with his charming classmate. There is a little bit of internal denial from Wilhelm when he tells Simon he “isn’t like that” after they share an awkward first kiss, but we know he’s kidding neither us nor his lover. 

The intense romantic energy is so new, raw, and real that there is no need for anybody to come out; it’s obvious that these two are gay as hell for each other and that discovery is absolutely beautiful. As mentioned, though, Wilhelm is a part of a royal family and publicly coming out as a celebrity is a whole different topic that the show sets up nicely for in a possible second season.

Sexual Expression is Explored on an Emotional Level

The show is rated TV-MA, but it can’t possibly be for nudity or graphic sexual expression. The passion between Wilhelm and Simon is certainly physical to an extent, but the little things, the tiny moments of young love are so much more meaningful than watching two actors maul one another like wild animals or porn stars. Short kisses in the forest, holding hands while watching a movie, and dropping off a quick breakfast in class are all amongst the enviable acts of emotional desire that are displayed from the characters. 

TV shows rarely understand what actual love looks like in the real world. It isn’t always 12 hours spent in the bedroom or excessive PDA in front of classmates and family. It’s what two people feel about each other that words can’t possibly describe. It’s an emotion that bonds a couple into one. Wilhelm tells Simon when professing his love midway through the season that nothing in his life feels real except for how he feels about him (a line improvised by Edvin Ryding). That’s so much more than a one-night stand or a cheap hookup and it’s something every other teen rom-com should learn from and aspire to emulate.    

A Delicate Discussion on Classism in Relationships 

A melancholy sticking point in the relationship between Wilhelm and Simon is their difference in social class. Wilhelm is the second-in-line to the throne of Sweden while Simon is the poor son of an immigrant mother who cannot afford to live on campus at the boarding school the characters attend. When the two boys are together, money and celebrity status become irrelevant. It’s an absolutely beautiful give and take where both kids get to learn how attraction has nothing to do with societal expectations and pressures, but keeping a relationship definitely does. 

When their love affair gets leaked in a sex tape á la Kim Kardashian, Wilhelm is expected to hide his sexuality and his desire for someone low on the social ladder. The way both young men work together to figure out a common ground solution is simultaneously touching and heartbreaking, as homophobia within the Swedish Kingdom makes the love forbidden and creates the main tension in the finale’s climax. Classism is such an underutilized topic in romance stories and Young Royals does a great job finding that fine line between forcing the issue and exploring it thoroughly. 

A Small, Strong Cast

Many shows that follow a romance struggle to give equal screen time to both parties. It can be tempting to flesh out the main protagonist more fully than divide attention among both characters. If you add in supporting roles around the couple it can get really flimsy in the hands of a shoddy screenwriting team. 

This show only has three true supporting roles: August, Sara, and Felice. This leaves plenty of material for both Wilhelm and Simon to be equals in spite of the central focus being on Wille. When you get to see the POV of each person independent of the other, it becomes a much richer experience and you are more easily able to sympathize with both young men instead of taking sides during a conflict. Their personal lives, especially their unique family dynamics help inform the audience about the romance. By the end of the six episodes, you feel like Wilhelm and Simon are amongst your own social circle because you know them intimately. That just doesn’t happen with most coming-of-age series. 

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All six episodes of Young Royals season 1 are available to stream on Netflix now.

The post Why You Should Watch Young Royals appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[hamiltalian-creates]

Wine Mom Dadceit, Pt 7

Summary: Virgil tries opening up just a little and it doesn’t go badly. Until someone else lets his secrets slip. 

Pairings: Virgil x Remy, Queerplatonic Patton x Logan, Co Parents Janus x Patton

Words: 2,370

Warnings: None

Virgil blushed and thought over his options for a minute. How bad could it be? It wasn’t like he had to tell him how he really felt about Remy, he knew that having a friend was a pretty rare event for himself, his popstar would believe that he was just happy to have a friend. “Yeah... Yeah, he’s new and he started talking to me for some reason, but he’s pretty cool. I guess we just happen to get along well.”

Patton smiled. “That’s good to hear. I hope your friendship goes well.”

Virgil shrugged. “I mean, we just met, so I don’t want to be too hopeful or anything.”

“I don’t know... I think a little hope is good at least once in a while.”

“Maybe..” Virgil may not have been betrayed by a friend before, but he had been kind of an outcast most of the time, which he imagined felt the same when it did bother him.

“And if he does hurt your feelings, I’ll bet Remus will beat him up for you.”

In all honesty, Virgil was not completely sure about that. Their only interaction may have been Remy giving Remus some rainbow band-aids, but it seemed like that made him one of the best people ever in his book. “Yeah, he’ll definitely try,” he said jokingly before looking at his phone.

[Remy: Did I really just go to the park only to not find you anywhere? Fake friend]

[Virgil: We never agreed to go to the park, but okay]

[Remy: If a bitch wants to enjoy his not-grounded life in the park with his best friend, then said best friend legally has to read his mind and meet him in the park]

[Virgil: Sorry, never had a friend before :/]

[Remy: Omg, you are so dramatic! I’m kidding, I love you too much to make you do something that stupid :*] [Remy: Seriously, tho, I wish you were here instead of just my brother and his friend]

[Virgil: “Friend”?]

[Remy: Just his friend, trust me]

[Virgil: Boring lol]

[Remy: Eh, living with no romantic or sexual tension sounds like a blessing actually] [Remy: Boring, but a blessing]

[Virgil: Fair enough]

[Remy: Well, since you couldn’t be bothered to be here, what are you doing?]

[Virgil: Popstar’s painting my nails, I’m letting them dry so I can do his]

[Remy: I stg if you ruin your nails for me, Ill never forgive you]

[Virgil: I’m a professional at scrolling with wet nails, typing isn’t much different]

[Remy: -_-]

[Virgil: My nails are fine, worry about your starbucks and sunlight]

[Remy: I will, enjoy your fatherly affection]

[Virgil: I will] Virgil put down his phone and blew on his nails a bit more before dubbing his hands as safe to use. The next fifteen minutes of quiet father son time felt like it almost went by too fast and Virgil was kind of disappointed when it was over. Solution? He picked up the dark blue nail polish to paint polka dots onto his dad’s nails.

“Had a creative spark?” Patton asked.

Virgil nodded. “Something like that, yeah.”

Patton seemed to understand Virgil’s actual motivation, but he didn’t really want to say anything and put Virgil on the spot. Instead, he enjoyed the warm feeling in his heart and watched as his son added the dark blue dots to his painted nails.

Once he was done, Virgil gave a final nod of approval before putting up the nail polish. “And now it should be, like, an hour until they’re completely dry.”

“Okay, that shouldn’t be too bad. Maybe I’ll figure out how to use my phone to keep myself entertained like you,” he suggested, jokingly, though oddly proudly.

Virgil smiled at that. “I don’t know.. It’s pretty advanced stuff.”

Patton laughed. “I don’t doubt that, I know you and your father have had plenty of practice functioning with wet nails. He’s probably giving himself a manicure now.”

Patton wasn’t wrong, just a couple of hours early. After the last weekend, Janus really needed an extra long bath and a little bit of time to sober up before he could be trusted to do his own nails.

“Whatever he’s doing, it’s probably being done in the most extra way possible.”

“Yeah.. He can be over the top with self care, but it helps him relax,” Patton shrugged.

Virgil nodded. “That’s true..”

The two of them spent a few more minutes together, filling the silence with a bit of small talk before Patton left to make lunch, taking Virgil’s advice of putting his wet nails in ice water before he did.

Of course Virgil knew that trick, he just wanted an excuse to spend more time with his dad without being too sentimental.

Once his nails were dry, Patton got to work making lunch, where he was interrupted halfway through by Roman.

“Pat Pat, can I get a cookie?”

Roman really knew how to use his adorable appeal to get to Patton’s heart. That nickname almost always got to him. “I don’t think so, buddy.. I’m almost done with lunch, you’ll get to eat in a little bit.”

Roman pouted and gave Patton the best puppy dog eyes he could. “Please?”

“Aww...” He looked around to make sure Logan wasn’t there and quickly grabbed a cookie from the jar, giving it to Roman. “Don’t tell your dad.”

Roman smiled and ran off with his prize.

“I saw that.”

Patton jumped a bit as he heard Logan’s voice, turning around and smiling sheepishly as he saw him watching.

Logan shook his head and smiled as he walked over and wrapped his arms around Patton’s waist. “You’ve gotten good at refusing cookies. You’re in a very good mood.”

“Yep!” Patton admitted with a wide smile. “I was talking to Virgil and I got him to tell me about this new Remy guy that he knows.”

Logan was pleasantly surprised by that. “He told you about him?”

Patton tutted and whined a bit. “You already knew?!”

“Well... Yeah, but I didn’t hear about it on purpose, I promise. Janus and I were talking and Virgil heard us out of context and got really defensive. He’s pretty embarrassed about his crush,” he chuckled.

“What crush?”

Oh, Virgil was not going to like this.

Now it was Logan’s turn to act like an awkward teenager.  “Did I say crush?”

Patton nodded. “Yeah, I very clearly heard you say he had a crush.. He didn’t tell me he liked Remy like that, no wonder he was acting so weird about it...”

“I kind of swore I wouldn’t tell you...” Logan admitted. “I feel bad, he was really embarrassed about me knowing..”

“Oh..” It kind of stung, but Patton could understand Virgil wanting to keep something like that to himself for a while. “Okay.. I won’t tell him that I know. That’s that.”

“Thank you..” Logan sighed and kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry..”

“Don’t apologize, it’s normal for a teenager to be a little secretive, I can respect that.” It would be the second big thing that he’d promise to keep to himself about, the first thing being the fact that Remy was Virgil’s friend, but that only made it that more important for Patton to keep it secret. So, he did. Patton made sure not to let anybody else know about Virgil’s crush or, rather, that he knew about Virgil’s crush.

Roman, however, made no such promise as he stood hidden around the corner.

Of course, he didn’t do anything at lunch or dinner, where Remus would be armed with forks. Instead, he waited until after breakfast the next morning, giving himself plenty of time to think about how he’d confront Virgil about it.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your boyfriend?” Roman asked as he stepped into Virgil’s room. “Is he a weirdo like you?”

Virgil was too horrified to be offended. “What are you talking about?”

He shrugged. “I heard my dad accidentally tell your dad about how you like a boy.”

Virgil jumped out of bed and marched on down to the living room, finding his popstar sitting on the couch with Logan. “Why is Roman asking me about a ‘boyfriend’ that he overheard you guys talking about?” he asked, using air quotes around ‘boyfriend’.

Patton and Logan looked at each other in disbelief before looking back at Virgil.

“I didn’t know he was still there,” Logan admitted. “I’m sorry..”

Virgil sighed dramatically and turned to leave. “I’m not talking about it to anyone.” He saw Roman watching him. “That includes you.”

Roman pouted. “Dang it... Fine, I’ll bother you about something else.”

“No you won’t,” Logan said. “You’re going to ease up on him.”

Roman groaned and turned to leave. “I can’t do anything in this house!” he said overdramatically as he walked away.

Virgil waited until he was sure he was gone before turning back to the two adults. “Can we not make a big deal out of this? I don’t really want to make this a big deal..”

“I just want to ask a couple of things, I promise,” Patton said with a hopeful smile. “You can stop me when you want, but this is kind of a big deal.”

Virgil thought it over for a second before nodding. “Alright..”

“Yay!” Patton jumped up and held his hand out for Virgil’s. “Come on, we can gossip up in my room.”

“That’s not necessary,” Logan said, closing his book. “You know how Roman likes to eavesdrop, I’ll go distract him and Remus with a movie.” He got up and kissed Patton’s cheek before walking out.

Patton smiled and looked at Virgil. “So?..”

“Alright..” Virgil smiled and sat down with him, telling him a few things about Remy. He told him about how was probably the most chill person ever and how they met when Remy saved him from a rogue basketball, which Patton thought was the bravest thing in the world, seeing as he was the one who gave Virgil the “bad at sports” gene. He kept as many details as he could to himself, like how cool it was to see Remy go from 0-100 when someone tried to pick on him or Virgil or how much of a flirt Remy was. The last thing he wanted to do was turn into a stuttering gay mess on purpose.

“He sounds like a really cool guy..” Patton said once Virgil was done talking. “I’d love to meet him once you two start going out.”

Virgil shrugged a bit. “Maybe.. I don’t want to make it a big thing.” He didn’t want his popstar to see how embarrassingly gay he became whenever Remy was around. At least, not yet. “Besides, I don’t even know for sure that he likes me, he could just see me as a friend.” Which Virgil knew was a lie, Remy made it very well known that he was ready to go out with Virgil at any time.

“Aw..” Patton smiled, believing him. “Well, if you two do go out, I would love to meet him. Or, even if you stay just friends, that’s totally acceptable and I’d still love to meet him.”

“I’ll talk to him about it,” Virgil assured, unsure of whether or not that was a lie.

Patton let him run back up to his room and smiled to himself, feeling successful. Now, the only thing left was to talk to Janus about this. He immediately grabbed his phone and called him, seeing as this was, in fact, an emergency.

“Hello?” Janus answered after a few rings.

“I know you know about this Remy kid. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“... Patton, this doesn’t classify as an emergency.”

“I think this is a serious emergency,” Patton said, though his tone was too giddy to back up his point. “Our baby boy has a crush and you didn’t tell me about it!”

“Virgil was really embarrassed about it. He barely told me anything and you know how rare that is.”

“Alright, fair..” Patton sighed and crossed his legs. “But I did feel like the two of us really bonded this weekend. I mean, we painted our nails together and he didn’t argue that much when I asked him to tell me a bit about Remy. He didn’t say much, but it was better than him refusing to say anything..”

That was true. Virgil was pretty open with Janus, but with Patton? He was always worried about him trying to pry out more information. “And that’s really good to hear. See? Doesn’t it feel better to not force the information out of him? I know you want to know about him, but he’s a really shy teenager.”

“I know.. I just hate that we’re growing apart..”

“Patton,” Janus sighed, pausing to take a sip of wine. “Look, in all honesty, Virgil still loves you. Being a little shy and secretive is not going to change the fact that you’re his father and he loves you, okay? He just needs a little space sometimes.”

“I know..” Janus reminded him of that all the time. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Is that all that you needed?”

“Oh! There’s one more thing. Are you sure that Remy’s good enough for our little boy?”

“Oh, come on, Patton, we’re his parents. Nobody’s ever going to be good enough for Virgil.” Or Remus, but Janus liked to tell himself that it'd be years before Remus had his first crush.

Yeah, that was true.

“But he does seem like a good kid and Virgil really likes him, so the least we can do is give him a chance.”

“Right... Okay. Thanks, Janus. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Of course.” He sighed and put his phone down as he heard Patton hang up. That was absolutely not an emergency, but he could let it slide this time. After all, he wasn’t so graceful about this entire situation either, as much as he pretended to be on the outside. His son had a crush and that crush obviously liked him back. That meant he basically had a boyfriend, an actual boyfriend. And a boyfriend meant that Virgil was growing up, which was definitely not okay with him.

[sheisbornadreamer]

Blend in, chapter ten

...chapter ten?!

WARNINGS: No fluff in this chapter whatsoever, not even any cold-hearted intercourse alright, so just wipe all of those expectations away. There you go :) Plus this chapter is very short. And I suck.

Sorry.

But! Hopefully, a lot of things will get cleared up :)

...just read!

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Saturday, 10.48 AM Tachikawa's residence

"-and I bought these two jeans -aren't they gorgeous- y'know the assistant said I look just like Misha Barton, hah I wish but whatever I mean her BMI is totally anorexic and that's great and all if you wanna like, die, though you can't deny that she's freakin gorgeous I'd totally die for those legs wouldn't you -look aren't they cute!"

"Mmh," Sora's eyes submissively fell on the jeans covering her friend's legs, but her mind couldn't tear itself away from her new full-time dilemma. This was hardly ever a problem for the two; to Mimi Sora was merely a mirror -or a wall, rather. She didn't interrupt, but she didn't respond with any interest whatsoever. Except perhaps for the actual changing.

Mimi kept chatting, modelling her new clothes and checking her reflection in the mirror. Sora's eyes kept resting on her legs -covered in denim, half covered by a pastel skirt, or not covered at all. She had legs to kill for; always perfectly tanned, constantly hairless and never-ending. Legs of another species that yet remained the ideal for all the poor girls with earthly legs. Thankfully, Sora had stopped comparing herself to her best friend a long time ago, figuring that it was no use.

"So are you actually gonna talk to me about what's causing that creepy absence I've seen in you lately?"

It wasn't the actual words that pulled her out of trance; it was the tone. The skip from high-pitched excited girl-chatter, to worried sentimental adult mom -tone wouldn't pass anyone.

Sora reacted quickly enough to catch the question, and she bit the inside of her cheek as she pondered an answer. Bringing Mimi into the problem was like letting someone else help you with a card castle you're halfway through, but stuck with and too shaky to continue. A bit down the road -which might as well be the goddamn wrong one- she didn't want to risk starting all over again. If Mimi managed to confuse the hell out of her -which rather commonly happened; she was freakishly alike Taichi in that way- Sora would lose the tiny bit of sense she'd made out so far. And dammit, that took a long time to make!

'Sides, there's was no way she'd be able to explain this complicated story with sustained patience -and that was very necessary for it to be understandable.

Having that thought through, she forced herself to look at it logically. Voicing her reasoning would simply clear it up, not destroy it. Who knows, Mimi might see something that Sora, as partly involved in the whole thing, was incapable of. In all honesty, Mimi's train of thought probably ran closer two Taichi's -maybe Yamato's too.

So why not?

"Taichi and Yamato," she uttered, not knowing where to start.

The currently halfnaked teen threw her arms out. "Yeah, well duh. So was that rumor true?"

"Well now it is. I kinda it woke up some sort of attraction, or feelings or just fucking madness in Blondie, and Tai pushed his luck some and now they're shagging like rabbits while Yamato is brainwashing him."

There was a brief silence where Sora's stubborn self mentally said 'I told you so'.

"That didn't make much sense coming from someone who's usually very pedagogic."

Sora managed to smile, somewhat relieved by the refreshing view of Mimi laughing. In comparison, she felt old and worn-out. Why the football-player even allowed something that hardly concerned her get to her like this, she didn't know. Sora sighed, deciding to throw everything out of her skull for the other girl to sort out.

She comforted herself with the knowledge that, when it came down to gossip, Mimi had all the patience in the world. She started talking, trying to stay as objective as possible. Naturally, it was near impossible with Mimi's repeated gasps and questions and other interrupting sounds that she seemingly thought were necessary to show Sora that she really listened. Letting herself get stressed up by this, Sora ended up giving her the completely wrong idea. This was obvious when Mimi summed the whole thing up.

-'-

"Okay so if I've got this straight, Yamato-kun was stupid enough to talk loudly and about their after-school activity, with so many split signals that everyone mistook him for being gay, and then he freaked out and started fighting Taichi-kun for no reason. Then they shag in the school's bathroom and start bitching when you try to save them from being caught-"

"No, no, no" Sora interrupted, sighed and held up a hand when the honey-eyed girl gave her a confused look. "No, I'm sorry, I'm giving you the wrong idea here. I guess I'm just so fed up with Yamato -well, Taichi too- that I make it their fault. Just please let me take my time, so that I can do this right."

If it weren't for the fact that they had worked this through once, Mimi would've taken Sora's request -if she even took it in- the wrong way, and jumped to conclusions. But the brunet's way of rushing and misleading had in the past bothered Sora to the point that she had talked to her about it. Mimi had finally understood the problem and promised to improve -when she actually remembered. Now, Sora could simply remind her and she'd be back on track with no hard feelings. This was one of the improvements they'd been forced to accomplish since that time when their lives took a slight turn.

"Sorry" Mimi said with a small laugh, rolling her eyes at herself. Sora smiled back, but shortly looked away to be able to continue. This was important.

Mimi staid amazingly quiet through Sora's second try of revealing Taichi and Yamato's story, and when she later summarized it to see if she'd got it right this time, Sora was introduced with a new point of view that made ten times more sense. Sure, Mimi was perhaps a little too romantic and naïve, but hearing everything from Sora who's the total opposite, she balanced it up, filled out the gaps and straightened all those things that had been invisible to the redhead.

"...so when Yamato's finally fed up with Taichi's immature behavior and mocking, he snaps and comes out and tells him-"

"-yeah, probably during that detention-"

"-or after they'd escaped. You know you're not supposed to talk during detention."

"Right"

"And Tai just... finally gets it?"

"He's not dumb. Not when it comes to Yamato; he's like a living lexicon."

"Not now though..."

"Stick to the subject!"

"Sorry."

"S'okay."

"So Taichi agrees to back off, and overdoes it to make Yamato miss him-"

"He really did, it showed. So yeah, Yamato misses him and finally asks him out!"

"...what?"

Sora hesitated. "Well, no... but it was so cute!" She grinned. "You were there, or at least after that. That Friday we went and saw The Holiday-"

"Yeah! Oh, Jude Law is so hot..."

"Hey!"

"For a guy at least."

"Heh. So they hang out Friday night, and there's surely tons of sexual tension and then they screw each other."

"It's called making love."

Sora snorted, causing Mimi to scowl even more. Which in turn caused Sora to grin wide. "Yeah, yeah, they make sweet love to each other. Yamato did want to though; he wasn't drunk or anything, just seduced. But he regrets it the next morning, throws Taichi out and asks me to come over. God, he was so messed up." Sora blinked, regaining the sympathy she'd felt for him that day.

"And then you leave, and... did they talk after that?"

"No idea. Maybe."

"They were even more awkward the Monday after that right?"

"Yep. And..." Sora frowned -ignoring Mimi's whining about wrinkles- trying to recall what else happened that day. "Oh!" she exclaimed, remembering. "That was when he hit him!"

"Ah." Mimi complied, also recalling that from Sora's story.

"I think Yamato was avoiding him, and Taichi got a bit annoyed I remember -he snapped a few times at me that day when I asked where Yamato was. Then boom! When I went to my locker at the end of the day Taichi's lying on the floor clutching his jaw and Yamato's a whiter shade of pale."

"And then they just forgive each other" Mimi filled in, smiling because she knew how much it had puzzled the redhead. "And they walk out together"

"Right, and this is the weird afternoon thing Tai told me about, when Yamato had nursed him and then took of as if a Scream-dude were chasing him-"

"-which confused the hell out of Taichi"

"Yup. Next day?"

"The avoiding-day. Yamato's fallen off the face of earth"

"Taichi's whining like never before-"

"And boom!"

"They make sweet tender love with each other," Sora teases.

Mimi shakes her head determinedly. "Nope. That's screwing. Calling it lovemaking would be an insult."

"Tai is walking on clouds."

"Yamato still avoids you guys."

"And here's where things gets really fucked up. Taichi becomes his personal slave, and Yamato has him all brainwashed."

"Taichi starts his too-happy gimmick -which, mind you, is a total give-away - and covers his master by constantly distracting you and himself."

"Gah, it's tiring just thinking about it..." Sora muttered, rubbing her eyes.

"Poor baby."

She stuck her tongue out in reply. "I'm up to here with his stupid jokes. And you know he actually talked about girls at one time!"

"So maybe he's bi?" Mimi offered, not seeing the issue.

"Fine, maybe he is. Doubt it though." Sora added, crossing her arms sullenly.

"Oh, come on! He's talked about girls plenty of times, and hasn't he even gone out with a few?"

Sora gave her a long look. "You believed that?"

Mimi shrugged. "Gotta give him some credit."

Sora snorted, then remembered the other ironic thing. "He also tried making me talk about guys!" she announced, sending the other teen a challenging gaze, as if daring her to brush that off just as easily.

A grin slowly spread over the other female's face, and the next second they were laughing their heads off.

"Okay, okay..." Sora eventually gasped between laughs, "We're loosing focus here."

Mimi nodded in agree, picking up where they left off. "This is the tricky part. You solve it by saying that Yamato's simply turned into a maniac all of a sudden,"

"Well he did! I mean first he's like 'no, I don't like him, don't like him' when he actually does and slips up when Tai decides to be all over him. That I can understand, but this on the other hand is madness!"

"Okay, don't hurt yourself. What's the reason Yamato has denied his feelings from the very start?"

Sora shrugged. "The gossip. He worries too much about other people's opinions."

"Right, and that's why he doesn't want Taichi to tell anyone."

"Yeah, well that I get-"

"So he uses the power of sex to keep Taichi quiet. No secret -no sex"

Sora threw her arms out impatiently. "Sure, that's-"

"-and if he would be the slightest bit of friendly, Taichi wouldn't take it that seriously." Mimi quickly pointed out.

"But I don't understand why he can't even kiss him!" Sora exclaimed, half aware that she was sounding like a little kid saying 'it's not fair!'

Dammit, it wasn't fair.

"I mean if this is a power method then he should reward him or lure him with-"

"Kisses?" Mimi filled in, raising perfect eyebrows.

"Tai's a kissing type of guy."

Sora couldn't help but wallowing in the irony. In one of her and Taichi's uncommonly intimate conversations the boy had admitted that he'd choose kissing over sex any day. On the other hand, by that time he was eleven and didn't know one bit about sex -not that much about kissing either. But Sora had a feeling this hasn't changed. She'd never heard him utter this ever since though, maybe -just maybe- because Sora had happily used this knowledge to throw in his face whenever she had the chance.

"I take your word for it" Mimi promised, knowing how close the two where. They probably told each other everything -or at least used to. She hesitated, catching the sudden sad look in her friend's eyes.

"...maybe Yamato doesn't find it that necessary, considering that Taichi's still under his spell -with or without kisses."

"Mm." Sora sighed, resting her forehead in her palm. "I know what you're saying, it's probably not that weird, but I mean even though it's just sex there should still be some sort of... okay, let's just say that Yamato's only interested in Taichi because he's a guy and close at hand. Wouldn't he still be interested in doing things to him? Doesn't have to be any feelings in that. And what about this control-thing? How fun is it to sneak around with someone, when you can't even let go while you're alone?"

Mimi remained quiet. She shook her head and sighed. "I don't know."

"Taichi didn't tell me a lot when I interrogated him, but what I did find out was that Yamato rushed through it, afraid to be caught by his dad -that's not blameable-, forbade kissing, never did anything to Tai, let Tai be the top-"

"That I find a bit weird." Mimi spoke up, pursing her lips as she pondered different possibilities.

"...maybe it's easier getting fucked by someone you hardly care about, than shoving your dick into someone you don't have feelings for." Sora suggested, wrinkling her nose slightly at her own words.

Mimi nodded thoughtfully, snickering a little when their eyes met. "Who would've thought we'd be discussing the mystery of sex between men?"

Sora chuckled, shaking her head. "Especially those two, who's been nothing but friends until now."

They were both quiet for a while.

"Alright," Sora sighed, breaking the tense silence. "Have we made any sense so far?"

"Sure, Blondie's afraid of the school finding out, of his dad finding out, of anyone finding out-"

"But what about the bathroom make-out?" Sora remarked, holding up a finger.

"Um... he's gay?" Mimi retorted, raising an eyebrow.

Sora bit her lip. "Yeah, but-"

"He's never had a girlfriend, probably never been interested in anyone and suddenly he's kissing someone and actually feels something, I mean he must've had a total black-out! After all, he's only human"

Sora surrendered, holding up her hands. "Okay, point taken"

"And all the avoiding was probably just to stop more rumors, and y'know, he's awkward around Tai because he's sexually attracted to him. And also because Taichi is too indiscreet."

Sora leaned back, smiling at the brunet. "This really is your area, huh?"

She was answered with a cheeky grin. "Sure is. And," she continued, finally realizing that she was still standing up and sat down on her bed beside Sora, crossing her legs. "I think the night before he really started to avoid you, was when he came out to himself!" She threw her arms out happily and Sora laughed. "He was like 'ok fine, I like guys. Now who should I have gay-sex with? Ah, here's my loyal friend who's open-minded slash gay as well, this'll be easy. But oh no! No one can find out! I know: I'll avoid him at school, and then I drag him home, make him my bitch and I have free afternoon sex everyday with no one bashing me!'"

"He's such a jerk." Sora grumbled. "I can't believe he actually pulls through it, I mean they used to be friends! Really good friends"

"Yeah, but he does avoid doing things that would make him feel guilty. If he'd use tricks and like pretended to care about him it would make him a bigger jerk. And he avoids him so he's not around to see how screwed up Taichi's become of this. And," she emphasized, catching the redhead's attention, "if he'd be the top, it would almost make this rape. He's planned this."

Sora stared at her, lost in that thought. "So..." she started hesitatingly, after what seemed like a small eternity. "There's still a small chance of him being human?"

Mimi tilted her head, eyelashes jumping as her gaze flicked around the room. For a moment her expression told Sora that she'd soon have the solution, but then the wise look was replaced by a playful glint. "Let's just say that, for now. Yamato still cares about Taichi, and the part of him that's not filled with hormones is full of shame and regret."

Sora, somewhat past the disappointment of not getting the answer to everything, nodded, accepting the theory. "Right."

"So just imagine being in his shoes; how freaking easy would it be to talk to your best friend that you're just using for your own pleasure? Or kiss? Being the one who fucks him, it... would just be too wrong. Or rather too obvious that it's wrong. Plus there's no wonder he's tense, and stressed and easily annoyed, and cold. He must hate himself!"

Sora held her hands up, chuckling. Mimi was getting a bit too into this. That girl watched way too many soap operas. "You're right, never thought I'd say this but it makes sense. But, if it's so clear that no feelings are involved, why don't they just enjoy it? As he's stated enough times, Tai only wants sex, and he's okay with Matt only wanting that too. So why would Matt feel guilty when he knows that it's not personal?"

Mimi shrugged. "Because they've fought so much, maybe, and it's still a bit weird screwing as friends."

"But they're not friends anymore" Sora commented, raising an eyebrow. Somehow she enjoyed criticizing her friend's casual reasoning.

"Like I said, if Yamato still cares about Taichi so it must feel wrong having such a platonic relationship"

"But Tai doesn't mind it, so there's no harm done"

"Right, but since they're not communicating -as I'm assuming, Yamato doesn't know how Taichi feels about this and hates himself in case he's hurting him and has to act cold not to break down and so they can't communicate and work things out and they'll just continue this. It's an evil circle." Mimi gestured enthusiastically.

Sora's eyes narrowed as she pondered the argument, not wanting to give in but she pretty much had to, didn't she? Mimi might be wrong, but she sure couldn't come up with anything better at the moment. Plus that evil circle thing really took a lot from her energy to continue this. Sora threw her hands up, deciding that this just wasn't her territory.

"Touché!" she called out, face breaking into a grin as the other girl threw her arms up victoriously.

"Now let's go shopping!" Mimi demanded happily, dragging Sora up from the bed and started skipping out of the room, grabbing her purse on the way.

"Wha..? I thought you've already went shopping?" Sora stuttered as she was dragged down the stairs, desperately trying to keep up with the steps.

"Well yeah for me, but we're shopping for you now!" the other girl replied perkily. She stopped at bottom and turned around, causing the slightly dizzy redhead to crash into her. Mimi pushed the other girl's shoulders an arms length away, locking determined eyes with distracted ones. "We're going shopping, and you're not going to puzzle Dumb & Dumber's problem -which by the way doesn't even involve you- one more time, got it?"

Whether she would keep that up or not, Sora was fully aware of that Mimi accepted no other answer than yes. Thus, she saluted.

"Yes ma'am"

As they walked out the door arm in arm, Sora sincerely hoped that she would keep that promise.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

will be continued.

[primatechnosynthpop]

It was a miserable, cold winter day, and the traffic was slow as molasses in January. If Yukari had any say with it, she would’ve just stayed home that day. All her students were such lost causes that teaching them probably wasn’t going to do much good at this point, right? Still, her mother and Nyamo had both insisted she go into work despite the awful weather. She couldn’t have cared less what her mother had to say, but Nyamo was surprisingly persuasive. Maybe it was because her position as a fellow teacher made her hard to say no to, maybe it was because she bribed Yukari into going to work with the promise of taking her out for ramen later that day, or maybe it was because they were in love and girlfriends were supposed to listen to each other, or whatever. It was probably the ramen one. They hadn’t gone out on a proper date in weeks, and Yukari was just dying for some more quality time with Nyamo.

Yukari fidgeted with just about everything in Nyamo’s car just to keep the boredom from driving her completely up the wall as they drove to work that morning. Nyamo seemed kind of annoyed, as per usual, but she didn’t object. However, as Yukari was pawing through the glove compartment searching for any spare change her girlfriend might have been keeping in there, Nyamo suddenly reached out and smacked her hand away without even taking her eyes off the road.

“Hey!” Yukari objected. “What was that for?”

“Can you stop looking through my stuff?” Nyamo said. There was a layer of tension to her voice that Yukari wasn’t used to hearing. “Play with my phone if you want to preoccupy yourself so badly.”

Yukari’s brow furrowed. That wasn’t right–Nyamo never let her play with her phone, not since the time Yukari had clicked on something she wasn’t supposed to and accidentally downloaded a virus. Something was definitely up here. Nyamo generally didn’t keep secrets, especially not from Yukari. They told each other everything–that was, like the dudes from that American TV show she’d watched one time had said, how they rolled.

But, hey, if Nyamo was giving Yukari the chance to mess around on her phone, Yukari wasn’t going to pass that up. She grabbed her girlfriend’s phone and drew the pattern to unlock it, which she had memorized from years of peering over Nyamo’s shoulders. The first thing that popped up was a Google chrome tab of an article about good locations for a wedding. Quirking her mouth into a puzzled frown, Yukari backed out of the article to type “funny YouTube fails compilation” into the search bar. When she tapped the search bar, the history popped up. The most recently searched items were:

Good wedding locations

Average cost of wedding

How to propose to my girlfriend

Romantic proposal methods

How to propose (gay)

How to propose

Where to buy engagement rings cheap

Average cost of engagement rings

“Huh,” Yukari muttered, holding the phone up to show Nyamo. “What’s this stuff all about?”

Nyamo blanched as she turned to look at the phone screen. Cursing loudly, she snatched the phone out of Yukari’s hand and stuffed it in her purse.

“You know what? Never mind,” she said. “Just look at your own phone.”

“But the battery is low,” Yukari complained.

“Well, maybe you should have brought your charger along.”

“But I don’t have a data plan, so there’s no wifi–”

“Look, will you just shut up?” Nyamo snapped, turning her head to glare at Yukari. Her cheeks were burning bright red–the kind of blush Yukari had often teased her about in their youth.

Yukari shrunk back, intimidated by her girlfriend’s outburst. What had she done wrong this time? Nyamo got mad at her a lot, sure, but she usually had a reason for it. Just randomly lashing out like this… that wasn’t like her. There were a few tense moments of silence as the stoplight at their intersection turned green and the cars ahead of them started to drive on. However, before their car could get any further, the light turned red again. Nyamo took a few deep breaths and laid her hand on top of Yukari’s.

“Look, I’m sorry, I just….there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you for a long time now…” She gulped, blushing again, and Yukari wondered what her girlfriend was about to say. “…Something about our relationship. Yukari, I’ve been thinking, do you want to–?”

Yukari blinked, realizing what Nyamo must have been getting at.

“Ah, I see,” she said. “You want to tell our students, don’t you? Well, don’t worry, babe, I’m sure they all figured it out long ago…”

“No, that’s not it,” Nyamo sighed. Taking one hand off the steering wheel to massage her temples, she muttered, “God, why does this have to be so difficult?”

“Dunno,” said Yukari. “Seems like it’d be a lot easier if you could just say what’s on your mind.”

Nyamo nodded thoughtfully, chewing her lip. “You’re right,” she agreed. “I should do that.”

She opened up her glove compartment and reached inside. Yukari watched curiously as Nyamo pulled out a small box, which she then opened up, all while keeping one hand on the steering wheel. Inside the box was a slim, plain silver band.

“Yukari Tanizaki, will you marry me?”

“Oh.” Yukari blinked, stunned, at the ring. “Uh… yeah, sure, I guess.”

Nyamo frowned. “What do you mean, ‘sure’? You don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to.”

Yukari stopped to think it over for a minute. They had been classmates and best friends for years, and then colleagues for even more years, and for quite a few of those years now they had also been officially dating. They had never gone public about it or anything, but they weren’t exactly trying to keep it a secret either, so most people probably already knew, even if they never brought it up. And honestly? Marrying Nyamo would be a dream come true for Yukari. As sudden as it was, she had no reason to say no, and she had plenty of reason to say yes. Even if people might give her flack for being a gym teacher’s wife, that would be worth it if it meant spending the rest of her life with the woman she loved.

“Hell yeah, I’m sure!” Yukari said, yanking the ring out of the box with enough vigor to send it flying across the car and into the backseat–which it did, unfortunately. “Aw, dammit!”

Unbuckling her seatbelt, Yukari hopped out of her seat and into the backseat of the car. Where had that ring gotten to? She didn’t see it anywhere. Maybe it had gotten under the seats?

“Babe, what are you doing?” Nyamo asked, turning around to watch Yukari’s frantic search for the ring. “Get back in your seat!”

“Hang on, hang on,” Yukari told her. “I’ve got this.”

Just then, the traffic light turned green again and cars behind them began to honk, prompting Nyamo to start driving. The car moved forward with a lurch, sending Yukari toppling off the seats. She let out a yelp as she smacked her head against the door handle and fell onto the floor of the car. There, she saw the ring wedged in the crack at the bottom of the door. She managed to pry it out and get the ring on her finger, then returned to her seat with a triumphant grin.

“Okay!” She said as she settled back down in her seat and did the seatbelt back up. “So, Nyamo, when do you want to get married?”

“Um, maybe we can discuss that after we get to work?”

Around half an hour later, Yukari strolled into the classroom a few minutes late. Her students murmured amongst themselves; she picked out her name a few times and figured they were gossiping about her. They must have noticed the engagement ring… She shot them a glare as she took her place at the front of the classroom.

“Okay, class, today’s lesson is on–”

“Yukari-sensei!” Tomo blurted, shooting her hand up in the air. “Where did you get that–”

“Oh, this?” Yukari held up her hand with the ring on it. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Um, no, but…”

“I said don’t worry about it!”

“Yes, but Sensei, I’d like to know…”

Yukari sighed, drumming her fingers on her desk. Well, it was too late now to hide the truth, right? Besides, she had nothing to be ashamed of. Anyone would be happy to marry Nyamo. Yukari was just proud that she was going to beat everyone else to it. She might as well just tell the class now, since they were asking. It was better to just tell them herself than have them figure it out–this way, she’d maintain the upper hand.

“Okay, okay, so I guess the secret’s out,” she sighed, tossing her hands up in defeat. “Nyamo proposed to me on our way to work this morning, and I accepted. Shocked? You shouldn’t be. She’s a great woman, really, even if she is an idiot, and�� and, hell, I love her! Get over yourselves.”

A stunned silence fell over the classroom, broken only by the awkward scraping of chairs against the floor. After a stretch of time that seemed to drag on for hours, Chiyo raised her hand.

“Um, Sensei, we were actually just wondering… how did you get that bruise on your forehead?”

“Bruise?” Yukari echoed. Bringing her hand up to her forehead, she felt a tender spot where she’d whacked it against the door handle in the car. “Oh, that…” She bit her lip, wondering how to explain what had happened without making herself sound like an idiot. “Well, you know what they say: love hurts sometimes!”

Tomo turned to Yomi, her brow crinkling in confusion. “Did… did Minamo hit her or something?”

“I dunno, maybe?” Yomi said. “With those two, you never know…”

Osaka raised her hand and Yuakri somewhat reluctantly called on her.

“So, when Ah saw you out gettin’ drinks with Minamo-sensei the other night, was y'all on a date?”

“Uh, yeah, we were.”

“And what about when Ah saw y'all two weeks ago at the movies?”

“That was another date, yeah.”

“And what about that time a month ago, when Ah saw you–”

“Jesus!” Yukari snapped. “Have you been following us around or something? Lay off it! …But, yes, whenever any of you have seen me out with Nyamo, it was probably a date.”

“Say, Sensei, who’s going to give you away at your wedding?” Tomo asked. “Can it be me?”

“Why would it be you, idiot?” Yomi muttered, smacking Tomo over the head.

“I think Chiyo should be the flower girl,” Kagura put in. “She’d be totally adorable!”

Chiyo pointed to herself, wide-eyed. “You think she’d let me do that?”

“I dunno, maybe.”

In the back of the classroom, a faint blush spread over Sakaki’s cheeks as she gazed out the window. Whatever she was daydreaming about now, Yukari was just glad that at least she wasn’t being as invasive as the other girls. She had the feeling that this was going to be a long class.

Later that day, while Yukari and Nyamo ate lunch together by the soccer field, a couple of boys who were out kicking a ball around stopped to congratulate them on their engagement. Nyamo thanked them, but she seemed flustered and startled by the interaction. Once the boys had taken off, she turned to Yukari with a grimace.

“You told everybody, huh?”

“I guess so,” said Yukari. “Why, was I not supposed to?”

“I don’t know… I guess it was stupid of me to expect you to keep a secret,” Nyamo sighed. Casually lacing her and Yukari’s fingers together, she asked, “What was everyone’s reaction?”

“Uh…” Yukari wracked her brain, trying to discern what exactly her students had thought of the news. They’d handled it pretty well, she supposed. All those questions had been annoying, sure, but it was nothing she hadn’t been subjected to before. “They were fine. Why?”

“Nobody minded finding out that we’re, y'know…?”

“Nah, I don’t think anybody cares about that,” Yukari said. “Not in my class, anyway.”

Nyamo smiled. She had a rather subtle smile, and it was one that Yukari rarely got the chance to see in such an open, public place. Normally she kept that kind of genuine fondness confined to places where nobody was around to see it. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around Yukari’s back and pulled her into a kiss. Yukari was caught off guard; Nyamo never kissed her in public. Today really was a day full of firsts for them.

As they broke away, Yukari recalled the bribe that her girlfriend–now fianceé–had tempted her out of bed with that morning. The bento box she’d brought with her for lunch was decent enough, but it wasn’t really doing enough for her. As soon as she could get her hands on some seafood, the better.

“So, can we go get ramen now?”

“Impatient, are we?” Nyamo laughed. “That can wait until after school. It’s still only halfway through the day.”

“Oh, c'mon, babe,” Yukari complained. “…Say, how long do you want to wait until our wedding?”

Nyamo blushed, drawing her knees up to her chest. “Well, I don’t have it planned out very well yet, so it probably won’t be for several months yet…”

“Aw, man…” Yukari leaned her head back against the chain-link fence and stared up at the cloudy gray sky. Clouds were a drag, but she liked the colour. They were the same colour as Nyamo’s hair. “If waiting for ramen is this tough, how am I gonna wait that long to marry the woman of my dreams?”

“I-I’m the woman of your dreams?” Nyamo asked incredulously.

“Well, I said yes to marrying you, didn’t I?” Yukari grumbled, her cheeks heating up. “Don’t let it get to your head or anything.”

Neither of them were particularly good with emotions, but they’d made it this far together, so there was no point in backing out now. Besides, they were in love, and as uncertain as the future could be at times, Yukari was pretty sure that they were going to stay that way. When she married Minamo Kurosawa, it would absolutely be worth the wait.

[i-want-my-iwtv]

Lestat, Louis is a sad sack of a man and doesn’t really seem to be worth loving. Ok so he’s “beautiful” that’s not enough to make a relationship last. Why is Louis worth loving?

//ooc: This is another fairly old ask, from November, 2017. I think anon was trying to rile Lestat by calling Louis “a sad sack of a man and doesn’t really seem to be worth loving.” Limiting him to just being “beautiful.” And while it is fun to rile Lestat and see how he reacts, idk… I was kind of taken aback by this and I had too many thoughts about it to have Lestat respond flippantly, which he would have. I think Lestat either gets defensive about loving Louis, or just dismisses these kinds of comments, one less person for him to compete with for Louis’ attention, lol.

TL;DR: I think when ppl ask that, part of where they may be coming from is that THEY feel like a “sad sack” who’s maybe not worth being loved, especially by the main character in a series, a flashy glittery murder machine. They worry that even if they’re loved for being “beautiful” that that really isn’t enough for a relationship, and that’s absolutely true, if we’re defining beauty as superficial characteristics. The beauty of Louis, to me, is in his character, and the emotions of the scene. 

I’ve written a lot about what draws me, as a reader, to love Louis, probably the best stuff is in my #we appreciate and love louis in this house tag. But I’ll try not to go overboard and answer you here, anyway!

I think the deal with describing Louis as *~SO beautiful~* is partly that, hey, it’s fun to do, like having a favorite flower, and AR takes the opportunity to remind us of it, and put the camera on him in a scene, so we know he’s present. It also serves a purpose, we usually get at least a scrap of context about him and/or the scene:

“I glared at him, at the sharp graceful angles of his imperturbable face, […] his wide-set eyes, with their fine rich black lashes. How perfect the tender indentation of his upper lip.” -Lestat, The Tale of the Body Thief

^Let’s take this line and unpack it a little:

Lestat glares at Louis. –> Lestat is clearly pissed.

Louis’ imperturbable face –> Louis is not scared of Lestat being pissed.

And then Lestat lavishes this extra description on him, appreciatively. Attention on the lip area, now we’re picturing him pointedly staring there, which might precede a kiss, so we can infer that Lestat desperately wants to kiss him, probably. What I get from all that is the exquisite tension of Lestat wanting someone he can’t have, someone he treasures and wants even MORE bc of the difficulty. 

It’s the tension of Lestat and other characters pining for Louis that AR wrings every drop out for us, she’s showing us how helpless these other characters are that they can only try to capture Louis with descriptions since he defies being owned by anyone. Unrequited love is a powerful thing.

Bringing these back, in case anyone else missed them and want to indulge in some Louis praise/discussion:

The first anon in this series: Honestly I can’t believe how gay everyone was for Louis ask and my response

“Louis rant” anon here.

A recent Louis canon hair fanart and commentary

Reply to an anon re: “fanon has cast Louis as a beautiful, frail flower destined and carried by Lestat’s will”

Anon grateful for “that whole “gay for Louis” ask reminded me of how much I love Louis” and my invitation to anyone to send rants about loving Louis (or any VC character!)

Also somewhat relevant: thoughts on Louis having a living lineage.

So, re: Anon might be identifying with Louis: 

We can find ourselves slipping into the characters we love and identify with. Some ppl find Lestat relatable in his lust for life, self-centeredness, refusal to quit, constantly screwing up and berating himself in the narrative (but rarely being able to outright apologize to those he hurts)… a flawed character for sure but an inspiring one.

I think some ppl who relate to Louis and feel less flashy, less glamorous, there’s smtg very appealing about how such a character could be so idolized by the more flashy and glamorous one. What could such a *rockstar* like Lestat find attractive in Louis?? You said yourself Louis is a sad sack. And yes, beauty is not enough to keep a relationship going. But, as I mentioned above, Louis’ beauty is often described in a context that charges it with the emotions of the scene. At least to my reading, there’s more conveyed than just eye color.

Still, why wouldn’t Lestat demand someone who was more like himself?

But here’s the thing I think a lot of ppl miss when they’ve only seen movie!IWTV, or only read a few of the books. 

^Louis & Lestat by @garama​

I personally believe that Lestat sees in Louis a similarly wounded soul with a lust for life. At their core, neither really want to die. Louis kept getting into fights with ppl bc he couldn’t kill himself as a mortal. Lestat has stubbornly refused to die his entire life and has had plenty of reason to want death. They’ve both almost killed themselves and been brought back. There’s a similar torment in them dealing with their natures.

As an anon put it so eloquently: “I think ppl forget that Louis is just as passionate and vengeful as Lestat, it’s just that he isn’t as vocal or showy about it. He’s more intimate and intense.”

The way they communicate/express themselves, and the way they practice self-care is vastly different. Lestat builds up his beautiful shell with retail therapy, redecorating and refurbishing his dwellings, and attending all kinds of shows and making elaborate plans with his kills, just spoiling himself silly. Always down for indulging his senses. He’s chasing new experiences, learning the new slang, trying to keep himself in the latest fashions. Novelty.

Louis prefers his nights at home, low-drama, in his own creature comforts, with his books and poetry to escape into. We don’t know much of what he’s read but he seems to want to spend eternity reading. What is reading? Even if it’s nonfiction, it’s learning, being told a story, being more informed. It’s novelty, too. Escapism through the imagination.

And their personalities seem to complement each other. Lestat’s lust for adventure spices up Louis’ otherwise too-calm existence. Louis’ calm and dignified manner brings Lestat back down to earth when he gets too untethered. Their bickering is bc they care for each other, can see beneath each other’s disguises. Louis sees the frightened boy inside the frustration that makes Lestat lash out and attack first. Lestat sees the potential in Louis of someone who, if he could get over his inhibitions, could experience so much more in his life.

When AR was kind of RPing as Lestat in her #Fan Questions for Lestat series, she was asked smtg similar:

“…but if I did have to choose, the companion would be Louis. My longest most enduring friendship and love affair in this world was with Louis. And though his limitations can be maddening, they can also be as inspiring to me as his virtues… the best choices we make are not always the wise choices. Sometimes they are intensely emotional choices. And I’ve always had a deep Romantic respect for emotion. My love for Louis transcends wisdom. And I may need the pain as much as the consolation that an eternal relationship with Louis would involve.“

^This is one of those moments I talk about where I feel like she recaptures the old magic, taps into the vein (pun intended) that got us all addicted to this series in the first place. Why I can’t just discard the crackier later books. She’s not all that specific here, but it’s believable. At least, to me. Lestat admits that Louis’ limitations (and this can be so many things, things Lestat disagrees with him about as well as things Louis refuses to do) can be maddening, and inspiring. 

And he admits that his love for Louis transcends wisdom. That may be a cop-out answer, but I’ve felt that kind of love in my life. Inexplicably bound to someone, despite the math of the personalities not seeming to mesh. 

Love works in mysterious ways. Even for beautiful sad sacks and the arrogant bastards who love them

[ladyloveandjustice]

Spring 2018 Anime Overview: Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Arc (Episodes 14-22)

I enjoyed Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card quite a bit. I would by no means call it a bad experience. But it’s impossible to deny it’s the weakest anime I watched this season. The series is underwhelming and flawed, even if parts of it warmed my heart and fed into my love of these characters. The plodding pacing, lack of payoff and disappointing elements were mostly worth it to me for the good parts, but this show really deserved to be so much better than it was. A lot of the problems I mentioned in my review of the first half not only remained, but worsened. There were definitely plenty of adorable moments, which you can see in my liveblog, but I can’t deny the show could have done so much more.

But we’ll start with things I enjoyed. I loved seeing Meiling again and her arc left me very satisfied. One thing I really love about magical girl shows is that they often have a far more complex and nuanced handling of the “romantic rival” girl character than other “more mature” media. They treat the girl in question more like an actual person than a catty stereotype and eventually the focus turns away from the guy and more towards girls building a positive relationship. 

And Meiling is a perfect example of that and I adore her. She started out seeming like a one-dimensional annoying clingy romantic rival character, but as the show went on, she gained more depth and formed really adorable relationships with Sakura and Tomoyo. Her pain, her struggles, her insecurities- they all became real to the viewer. The scene where she’s crying over Syaoran but admits that as much as it pisses her off, she can’t take out her pain on Sakura because she likes her too, is one of the most heart-wrenching in the show.

Meiling’s arc in Clear Card was the perfect cap on that. We finally got to see how Meiling and Sakura interact without the tension of Meiling’s crush on Syaoran in the picture. Her former crush on him wasn’t even mentioned once- they are entirely friends on their own terms. It was great to see how the relationship has so completely evolved. And it was also great to see Meiling and Syaoran interact without that baggage and it really bought home how much better the two of them understand each other now. Where Syaoran would unintentionally make Meiling feel like she was a useless burden to him before in the original series, here he goes out of his way to tell her that he appreciates her and that she shouldn’t feel like she contributes less due to her lack of magic.

 Meanwhile, Meiling was worried about him and since she was a family member, she was more aware of his mysterious struggles than anyone else. But she was not overly focused on him and was capable of giving him space. She was also much more confident around him and was able to roll her eyes at what a loser he was and tease him about it, something she really didn’t do before because she was too busy mooning over him, so it was very cathartic to see her do it here.

Seeing Sakura and Meiling have a proper team-up was fantastic too. I’m always down for the power of girls holding hands saving the day, but this was satisfying in other ways too! Meiling always had a lot of confidence issues about her lack of magic in comparison to the others, so seeing her straight up take charge in a fight and protect and guide Sakura was such a great thing for her character. The “twins” episode in the original anime had Meiling learn she was useful as a partner by teaming up with Syaoran, but here she learns she can even be a good leader if it comes down to it by taking charge with Sakura. Meiling’s arc really builds on what came before it in a positive and satisfying way, and was exactly the kind of thing I was hoping for when Clear Card was announced.

Seeing Meiling now being comfortable enough to be on a first name basis with Sakura was icing on the cake (not to mention a very shippy moment, considering it’s explicitly compared to Syaoran and Sakura’s relationship). This was the kind of relationship progression I wanted from Clear Card. And there were a few other moments that delivered that kind of satisfaction! Sakura’s dad’s conversation with Touya near the end, a short moment with Touya and Yue....

But that sadly wasn’t true for the majority of the series. Most of the season felt terribly stagnant and sloppily paced with the characters not progressing at all and a lot of build up with no pay-off. 

To make it clear, I don’t mind a slow burn- the original CCS definitely moved at a relaxed pace and had a heavy slice-of-life vibe. But the problem with Clear Card’s stalling plot was that it was contingent on a bunch of characters not talking with each other or interacting with each other and this was really what gutted the show for me. 

The original CCS definitely relied on “barriers to communication” as a device to pad the show, but not in a way that prevented the characters from getting good scenes. For instance, Touya being interrupted whenever he tried to tell Yukito the truth about himself in the third season of the original series was an overused and somewhat frustrating reoccuring deal, but it didn’t prevent Touya and Yukito from being involved in the plot or having (very gay) scenes together (in fact, it ensured they would). It was also at least a little bit amusing and had some variety- how’s Ruby Moon gonna interrupt them this time! And it made sense for the characters for the most part- Touya’s TRYING to do the logical thing, so we’re not frustrated with HIM, at least. And it made it incredibly satisfying when Touya finally snapped and told Ruby to go away, he’s talking with Yukito NO MATTER WHAT.

Compare the conflict this season where Touya’s got something going on with a new power but won’t tell Yukito about what it is (EVEN THOUGH HE’S THE ONE WHO BOUGHT IT UP TO HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE) because reasons. This means there’s only a couple scenes with them, they consist of Yukito being like “tell me” and Touya being like “nah”. There is no variety and the scenes make the viewer frustrated with Touya, it means we don’t see Touya and Yukito much because they’re not allowed to be involved in the plot yet and because we’re keeping up some manufactured tension between them for no reason. It had no payoff this season either, and I doubt when/if it DOES pay off we’ll feel satisfied- odds are it’ll just be like “okay so why didn’t you just tell him earlier?”

The way Touya and Yukito were underused here was really frustrating because 1. They’re great characters, 2. they’re one of the most iconic mlm couples in kids anime and 3. their relationship arc wasn’t really properly resolved with a confession scene in the last series, so one of the main reasons I’D do a sequel would be to resolve that, but apparently them not talking is more important.

And that’s not the only plotline of the sort in this season! There’s a similarly bad one with Syaoran. He’s keeping stuff something that involves Sakura secret from her and it does nothing but damage his character and presence in the show. It means he’s not around or talking to her as much, nor is he as expressive since he’s busy brooding about stuff. 

Honestly, the role of “mysterious secret keeper” just doesn’t fit Syaoran- with Touya, at least he’s been shown to be someone who keeps things to himself before. Syaoran, on the other hand, has always been ridiculously straightforward. As much as he tried to act tough, he was always unable to hide every single thought and emotion he had from being stunningly obvious to everyone but Sakura and got flustered CONSTANTLY, which was part of his charm as a character in the original series. It allowed him to be a very active and dynamic character too. Having him suddenly bottle everything up and be all mysterious just kills so much of what made him work. 

Though, to be fair, the show sort of acknowledges he’s unsuited for this role by showing even Sakura has noticed something’s up with him. But that just makes things MORE aggravating- in the last episodes she straight up says to him “I want you to talk to me” which should be the big moment where he realizes how wrong he’s been and tells her everything....but instead he just. doesn’t react. It’s INFURIATING.

And hey, third’s time the charm, we also have our antagonist, Kaito, doing some sketchy bullshit that his charge, Akiho, is completely unaware of (and when she does become aware, he TURNS BACK TIME to make her forget) so he can help her because reasons. Also, Eriol and Kero and Yue now know Sakura’s making cards appear on her own, but won’t tell her, because.

So in this season, here’s a real trend of guys refusing to communicate with and let girls in on things that DIRECTLY AFFECT THEM and denying them agency in regards to their OWN LIVES while insisting it’s “for their own good” and “to protect them” and I’m really! not about it! At this point, I am not confident the show will resolve it in a way that condemns this behavior enough. Why did we have to go here? I’ve seen this plotline SO many times and I am TIRED and I just want to see the characters be together and grow and learn and have fun.

And the lack of that is what makes the “filler” in Clear Card not work while the “filler” in the original show mostly worked for me. There were a variety of scenarios the original series would use to pad out the episode in the old series- a school play! a class trip! Syaoran and Sakura fight over Yukito! A test! Touya’s got a weird new job! They were reoccurring scenarios, but the type that offered variety and many types of character interactions. But with Clear Card the filler is much more limited -”let’s cook a thing and talk about it, let’s eat a thing and talk about it, let’s read an entire storybook that has nothing to do with the episode”. And that feels a lot less worthwhile, to say the least.

I said in my last review that it felt like the series was coasting on nostalgia and well, that still holds true. SO true there’s literally an episode called “Sakura’s Nostalgic Viewing Party” devoted to talking about the Sealed Card Movie. But as implied above, I don’t know if this show really gets what people loved about the old series totally. It copies things, sure. Like Sakura’s basically capturing the same cards over again! ...But this time the cards seem more like objects without personalities, and Sakura’s lack of concern for the cards she had before totally disappearing- which WERE sentient with personalities- is troubling, considering the original series focused on her being concerned for them and forming friendships with them. That whole issue kinda encapsulates the heart this series is missing compared to the original, and the important things its overlooking.

Which brings me to a big problem- there’s an disappointing lack of queerness in Clear Card. The original series was full of queer stuff and very accepting and positive about it as a narrative and it is beloved among queer viewers to this day for that...but, that was so absent in Clear Card. The closest we got to a direct discussion of Yukito and Touya’s relationship was in the prologue special- Yukito mentioned to Sakura about “when I told you I liked Touya” in the context of romance. So still canon, obviously. But Yukito and Touya are sidelined, as mentioned above, so really nothing else with them. Tomoyo is similarly out of focus, so nothing from her. Sakura and Syoaran are only focused on each other crush wise, so nothing for them either. I don’t think (or maybe I just hope) it was deliberate, but it’s still really disappointing. In 2018 they should be giving us MORE, not less.

And now we have to talk about the finale. What it was and what it...wasn’t. Basically, we find out Akiho is the mysterious person who’s been haunting Sakura’s dreams (something that even a five year old would have guessed by now)and she attacks her, Sakura is faced with this big revelations and is fighting....and then Kaito appears our of nowhere, freezes time, then rewinds everything so Sakura doesn’t remember and the fight never happened.

Yep. That was our final episode of the season. We get this big dramatic scene that FINALLY moves the narrative forward...then it is literally undone and rendered meaningless. It’s SO blatantly disrespectful to the audience it’s almost hilarious. I mean I wasn’t expecting much to be wrapped up, but talk about going above and beyond to flip off your viewers.

I always figured the reason for the poor pacing and anticlimactic ending of Clear Card was because it was spinning its wheels so it didn’t pass the manga (the solution to which would have been wait until the manga’s further along to make an anime, but WHATEVER)...but apparently the finale episode actually diverged pretty heavily from the manga.  (spoilers obvs). CLAMP is likely bringing a confusing Tsubasa crossover in the manga version, and the anime wisely decided to reject that.

But the thing is, if they were going to change such a major thing from the manga...why not just do their own thing with the anime from the beginning? Why drag everything out so the anime ended where the manga currently is if they were just gonna change that ending anyway? Why not just add their own stuff from the beginning? Why not end the season on a more satisfying note?

It’s a mystery for the ages.

Despite my LONG gripe session just now, while I was frustrated toward the end, I mostly found the anime pleasant to watch. There were a lot of nice moments despite all its flaws. And I love these characters so much that you know I’ll be right there if they release a movie or second season or whatever. 

But there’s a lot of wasted potential here and I hope the team behind this gets its shit together if they continue this. Like please. Let Touya and Yukito kiss. Let Tomoyo get a girlfriend. Let Sakura know what’s going on in her own life. If you just do that, I’ll never complain about anything related to CCS ever again. I swear.

[krokodile]

Tumblr has decided that one of my posts “may contain adult content” and thus is blocked from public view.  However, after digging all the way back through to February, there’s no indicator that it’s been flagged.  So I can’t contest it.

It’s a fucking movie review post. 

I can only assume the bot spazzed out because it contains a review of the documentary “Fagbug.”

Needless to say I’m reposting everything now because I AM SO FUCKING PISSED.  Gay activist movies with inflammatory titles are “adult content.”  

(I mean, it sucked, but still.)

Aside from that, I can’t find any content that would anger a bot.  I mean, if the bot sat down and watched Take Me to the River, it’d probably get mad, but I don’t explicitly discuss any of its content, so...it included a picture of a child in a bathing suit from the waist up?  Is that it?  Did one of the movie posters look like nudity somehow?  Because I looked at all of them and aside from the potentially triggering flesh tones in Happy Death Day’s poster (that creepy baby face sure is sexy amirite) I, again, see nothing.  

And since you can no longer access the posts directly the only way to get the content back is to either harass tumblr via email until they allow the post back up or crawl through your posts on your own account, which can’t be done by day, just by page number.  I can’t begin to imagine how shitty this is for people who have original content worth preserving.

movies watched in 2018

take me to the river:  guys, here’s the thing.  horror is my favorite genre and i’m pretty deadened to everything with “shock value” in film.  this little indie drama here, though?  this genuinely managed to shock me.  i was sitting there at one point unable to believe i was actually watching what i was watching.

please keep in mind that i don’t think that scene was included for the sake of shock value; it was relevant and likely necessary.  i’m just saying that NOTHING gets to me in that way, and this did.

it’s a fantastic film, albeit one of those annoying enigmas with no real answers.  i would love to have an hour alone with the screenwriter just to find out what they were thinking of in terms of backstories.  every major performance is perfect - logan miller is incredible.  everyone’s performance is understated, natural and authentic.  the little girl who played molly - not sure of her name but i recognized her from “louie” - holds her own with some amazing adult performances and is just as authentic as everyone else.  robin reigert is quietly devastating, josh hamilton is equally quietly terrifying, richard schiff and azura skye disappear completely into their characters.  

the pacing is on the slow side, but it works well for the story.  i watched the entire thing with my stomach in knots, having no idea in hell where it was going.  on several occasions i genuinely expected a murder.  i’m not used to movies this quiet and slow being so unpredictable.  i had to keep pausing it to shake off the tension.  it’s also incredibly beautiful to look at.

this is one of those indie gems that is absolutely not for everyone - it touches on some subject matter than many would find deeply upsetting.  and i think the film means to be deeply upsetting, but again, it’s in a way that’s not for everyone.

i do wish there were more answers, because i have so many questions, but it does guarantee i’ll be thinking about this movie for years to come, so maybe they did that on purpose.

as an aside, i kept thinking that the little girl looked incredibly familiar, and then it hit me.  she looks like a miniature allison case.

change the hair color and she’s an absolute ringer.  

(i also got a smile out of her name reveal, just because it’s her cousin asking her how to spell it and she starts with m, and for whatever reason i’m like “oh wouldn’t it be funny if we had the same name,” and at the -o i’m like trying to guess, “maybe she’s morgan, or -”; -l  “...ha.  awesome.”  -l-y “well i’m glad they spelled it properly.”  dunno why that amused me, but it did.)

it - better than i thought it would be in some ways.  it’s not scary at all and the horror aspects are largely bungled, which is a shame because the dude playing pennywise is pretty creepy and could’ve done better stuff with a better script.  i hate the changes they made to beverly’s character, and she and the kid from book of henry were so obnoxiously precocious and precious.  that said, all the other kids were fantastic, including that kid i generally dislike from stranger things.  he was hilarious, and he and the rest of the pack of boys were so natural in their roles you just started to believe that’s who they were.  i’m vaguely looking forward to the sequel.

mammoth - a rewatch; it’s still the same infuriating mansplainy trash it was the first time around, but i wanted mom to see michelle williams’s performance, so.  the cast really is perfect; that’s the one thing it has going for it.

marwencol - this guy’s photography is amazing, and his story is super interesting, but what kept jumping out at me was how fucking great this dude’s coping mechanisms were, even if they looked a little odd.  for example, he has a crush on his married neighbor, so he added a doll based on her to his little village with the intent of having that doll marry the doll that’s his avatar.  the woman got weirded out, told him it wasn’t cool - so he dealt with the rejection by creating a sorceress character who blinked the neighbor character out of that universe and hooked it up with that guy’s character.  like...that’s the weirdest way i’ve ever seen someone handle rejection, but also kinda the healthiest.  he said repeatedly that he had no interesting in actually pursuing his neighbor romantically because he respected that she was married.  he never said a cruel word to her, or complained to the camera about her being a bitch or ungrateful or whatever dumb shit people come up with.  absolutely no threats or hints of violence.  just “i’m hurt by this rejection, so fuck it, i’m erasing her from this narrative.”  like...that’s honestly brilliant.  don’t know why this stuck with me more than anything else, but it did.  i know there’s a drama adaptation coming out soon with steve carell, and i expect that’ll be great.

maudie - i adore sally hawkins so much.  i haven’t seen the shape of water yet; i really only know her from paddington, but there’s just something about her that makes me like her.  and her performance in this is stellar.  i know nothing about maud lewis (besides the fact that i like her paintings) but sally hawkins was easy to fall in love with.  sweet, smart, shrewd, just a hell of a mind but also a huge heart.  

happy death day - i was NOT expecting to enjoy this as much as i did.  it’s really perfectly executed for the type of movie it is.  great comedy - one of the funniest onscreen kills i’ve ever seen - genuine danger and stakes (a rarity in groundhog day type movies), and a main character with actual depth; enough so that you actually care about her and want her to survive this movie (i don’t recognize the actress, but she does a great job with the role).  and a fucking fantastic red herring that totally caught me off-guard.  i was expecting something dumb, a carelessly written splatterfest aimed at the lowest common denominator.  (yeah i’m a horror snob fuck you.)  actually there’s very little blood/gore, which apparently bothered some viewers, but i don’t think any effect was minimized without it.  i had a ton of fun watching it.  didn’t expect that.

dunkirk - i’m just gonna say it.  it was bad.  i’m generally pretty neutral on war movies - for the most part they’re not my thing but there are plenty i’ve enjoyed and plenty i’ve been able to appreciate as good filmmaking even if the film itself wasn’t for me.  this movie is just not good.  generic war movie created around a truly amazing true story that could have been an amazing film.  wasted opportunity.

fagbug - i completely understand why the gay community had worse things to say about this person than heteros did.  ugh.  stop making actual tragedies about you, stop talking over people and stop acting like an epic victim.  

before i wake - surprisingly not bad, could’ve been better.  liked it better before the last few minutes.  it had some clever ideas and it was fun putting everything together, but having it put together for us takes the fun out of it, and making the kids’ “powers” unambiguous is a little...hard to swallow i guess?  but it’s still surprisingly pretty good.

under the arctic sky - random netflix generator told me to watch this and while cold water surfing isn’t something i’m super interested in, the photography is gorgeous.  i can’t pretend i didn’t cry like a little bitch watching the one guy surfing under the northern lights.  just...the world is just awesome.

original post url 

http://krokodile.tumblr.com/post/170571715555

[dent-de-leon]

"You don’t constantly live in fear of losing someone who’s just like a brother. That’s not how anyone feels about their actual brother" - Don't get me wrong, I ship the heck out of S/K, but: I'd argue you absolutely do if you're an orphan who lost the only family they had at a young age and never really had anyone after that. And then you finally find someone who's like family, however you interpret that, and you have these huge abandonment issues. Of course you're gonna be scared of losing them

Hi! I got a few asks about this, so I’ll just cover them now. Okay so, while I agree that Keith would definitely have abandonment issues after his childhood either way, his relationship with Shiro still transcends what he has with the rest of Team Voltron–all of whom we know are also his found family. So it’s not just a matter of found family, but also this deeply personal, innermost connection he has with Shiro that he never quite manages with anyone else again. He holds a platonic love for all the paladins and thinks of them as his new family. But he’s not so terrified of losing them that he’d literally give up anything just to be with them. He only feels that way about Shiro. “He latches onto Shiro at times because Shiro’s sort of the only thing that can really calm him down and keep him in check.” 

This idea of latching onto someone evokes a kind of desperateness and dependency you really don’t see in platonic relationships usually. Also, a relationship where one character is really the grounding force for another, the one thing that can soothe this volatile, emotional and alien side of them and bring out their humanity–that’s often a dynamic that’s meant to be interpreted in a romantic context. This is further supported by the fact that Zarkon, another galra who struggles with his overwhelming emotions, has Haggar to kind of act as his Shiro and be a balm for him, help steady him and guide him. Again, this kind of relationship is already established as blatantly romantic. So I don’t think it’s accidental that sheith mimics it. 

There’s a singularity to Keith’s view on Shiro that feels distinctly romantic rather than brotherly. If someone’s just a friend or like a brother, then they’re not your entire world. You wouldn’t be “all alone” without them. And staying with what holo-Shiro said for a minute, his role there is pretty interesting. I’ve mentioned it before, but this idea of a knight having to sacrifice their love for the sake of their duty is a common theme, and we see that replicated here. And this idea of someone being sent to tempt the hero and try to lure them away from their duty, it’s pretty much always a romantic trope. Love interests are typically the kind of characters who would try to convince someone into believing they’re meant to be together and there’s no way the other person would be able to go on without them. It’s just not something that has a brotherly or platonic connotation.

There’s also the fact that holo-Shiro says “We’re your family.” As a reflection of Keith’s mind, he voices the fact that Keith sees all the paladins as found family. But he still views his relationship with Shiro as something much deeper. This makes Keith’s possessive mourning over Shiro all the more strange. When Pidge loses Matt and her dad, she doesn’t lash out at her mom about how she doesn’t care or isn’t doing enough. But Keith is another story.

If all of Team Voltron is his found family, then why act as if he’s the only one who cares about Shiro and no one else does? Why is pretty much everyone relatively understanding about Pidge’s situation–and why is she able to put her own feelings aside and carry on with the mission while Keith is portrayed as reckless and despondent with grief over constantly chasing after Shiro? Why does everyone have to pull him aside and tell him to move on when it seems like it’s been months but Pidge understands the mission has to come first in a matter of days? Pidge doesn’t seem to have any sort of dependency on her brother the way Keith and Shiro rely so heavily on one another. Obviously she loves Matt, but that love is shown to be very different from what we see between Shiro and Keith. 

The fact that we have all these parallels established between sheith and zaggar also says a lot. Because saying that sheith isn’t meant to be read as romantic while still having it be so similar to zaggar is just…very strange. It’s pointing at one dynamic and saying “This is what a romantic relationship in our narrative looks like,” but then establishing essentially the same dynamic again and dismissing it. Especially when, right from the start, Keith is shown saving Shiro, and it’s something that Kuron actually makes a point of mentioning. So, given that the other black paladin who was terrified of losing the person they loved and willing to do anything just to be with them–given that that’s a distinctly romantic relationship, I think it’s important to take that context into consideration. 

There are plenty of other close platonic relationships that Shiro and Keith could have been compared to. Hunk and Lance are also really good friends, but their interactions are clearly more casual and fun loving. There’s not this big dramatic weight bearing down on their relationship that you usually see from a will-they-or-won’t-they almost-couple, no tension. But sheith has plenty. Hunk and Lance obviously care about each other a lot, but they never pull one another aside and have a deeply personal, intimate, bleeding heart-to-heart. We see these quiet talks often with sheith though. Another telling sign is all the lingering, tender touches between Shiro and Keith.

Whether it’s the grounding weight of a hand on your shoulder or a warm embrace, these two are rather touchy-feely. Yes, Hunk is very huggable and he and Lance are very casual around each other. But again, their interactions aren’t regarded with the same depth and seriousness as Shiro and Keith’s. While it’s true that plenty of people have very close friends who they’re pretty openly affectionate with, it’s important to remember that this is a story, and most things they take the time to animate are meant to serve the narrative.

So, from a thematic standpoint, having these two characters with a hidden backstory who are always circling each other’s orbit, always exchanging little comforting touches here and there and offering quiet words of comfort, who are constantly scared of losing each other–typically, that’s how you build a romantic relationship. It’s not the way you’d usually establish a platonic one, and it’s not the way any other platonic relationships play out in Voltron either. Another sign that it’s not strictly platonic or brotherly is the fact that, while they’re still so close, there’s a noticeable distance. Like they’re both afraid and holding each other at arm’s length. Again, you don’t see this with Hunk and Lance; they’re perfectly comfortable being completely open with each other.

But Keith is always afraid one wrong move will cost him Shiro, always trying to do his best to make Shiro happy. He tells Shiro that he really changed his life, and it’s implied that maybe he thinks Shiro doesn’t realize just how much he means to him. That’s why, after Shiro does discover the full impact he’s had on Keith–after seeing how Keith’s worst fear is losing him in BOM–he never brings up the fact that something might happen to him again. Similarly, when Keith repeats “Patience yields focus,” Shiro’s whole face softens. His voice is nothing but fond when he asks, “That really stayed with you, didn’t it?” He didn’t know Keith cared that much, and he’s really touched.

And that’s something else–characters repeating each other’s deep, meaningful lines back to one another reads as distinctly romantic to me. Yeah, Hunk picks up on Lance’s favorite movie catchphrase, but it’s another example of how their relationship is more friendly and casual. It’s an effect used for comedic relief. That’s very different from Keith reciting Shiro’s mantra or the way these two greet each other with reversals of, “It’s good to have you back.” “It’s good to be back.” Context and tone are always so important.

I don’t mean to belittle platonic bonds in favor of romance though, or that one is more important than the other. Just that they’re both written very differently. That doesn’t mean they have to start off at completely separate points though. Shiro and Keith both really struggle with developing close, intimate relationships. Neither one really lets their walls down around anyone else, and they both often put on a brave face to shoulder the weight of the world alone. Keith especially struggles with social interaction, and he comes off as very touch averse. Both he and Shiro are also very private, reserved people. 

So, I honestly can’t picture either of them falling in love suddenly. For them, I imagine romantic attraction would have to come from first developing a deep emotional attachment to the person platonically–and from there, the relationship would organically progress to something more romantic. I can’t see Shiro and Keith’s relationship the way it is now in canon as ending platonically though. If anything, I would say queerplatonic, because then the intensity and commitment level of the partnership is the same as a romantic relationship. 

I mean, I might be bias because I have two brothers and what Shiro and Keith have does not read as brotherly at all to me. Not in the least. But I’ve had very close friends that I ended up developing romantic feelings for in the past, and that is what Keith’s feelings on Shiro really make me think of. Particularly when said friend is of the same gender and you’re unsure of your own feelings so you mistake that love for them being like a brother or sister at first. That’s very relatable to me. 

I’m pretty sure it’s also common for a narrative to imply a gay relationship by referring to characters as having a very close, sort of brotherly camaraderie as well. And characters naturally progressing from a close friendship or seeing someone as being like a brother and then having those feelings change to romantic interest over time–it’s fairly common for straight couples in fiction. You even see it with Aang and Katara. Had Shiro been a girl, I feel like there wouldn’t be so much insistence that sheith is meant to be just brotherly or platonic. But again, that’s just how I see it. 

[notarelationship]

Clinging to This Hating Game 7/?

For the @prompt-a-klainefic blog’s 2017 Reverse Bang

Link to the art by @datshitrandom

the prompt:

Kurt and Blaine couldn’t stand each other in high school, maybe one was a jock/cheerleader and the other a nerd/glee clubber. Or they were bitter rivals for competition solos if they were both in glee club. Now they both live in NY and their friends set them up on a blind date, not knowing they went to the same high school.

High School AU, Cheerio!Kurt, Jock!Blaine Rating: Explicit Warnings (for the story overall):  some bullying and homophobic language, teenage sex Word Count: ~5700 (this chapter)

Extra special thanks this time to my beta,

@mshoneysucklepink

​, who made critical suggestions to this chapter.

Everything wonky is my fault.

AO3 link Chapter 7

On tumblr: Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6

Notes:

The next time I estimate how many chapters something will be while I'm still writing it, feel free to laugh in my face.

And if you were waiting for the chapter to meet the explicit rating, wait no more...

No other specific warnings. Maybe boys being idiots.

-

Chapter 7

“Kurt I swear I had no idea,” Mercedes hissed under her breath.

Apparently not quietly enough because Blaine chuckled across the table. Kurt could feel his face heat up, and not just because of embarrassment. Blaine had been cute in high school; Kurt was attracted to him from the moment he spotted him in that frat house, before they’d even officially met. After they were unexpectedly thrown together Kurt had found himself drawn to both the scruffy football version as well as the more dapper, prep-school Blaine that had started to emerge as their time at McKinley had ended. But all grown up? All the hints Blaine had shown of his potential for old-Hollywood handsome had bloomed into one very attractive and well put together adult. Kurt would have checked him out thoroughly if he’d been a stranger.

“You can imagine how shocked I was when Mercedes showed up at the restaurant,” Blaine said, eyes twinkling. “Then when she said you were meeting us -” Blaine scratched at his temple. “Well, I confess I was even more shocked.”

“Hmm, I suppose it’s a good idea that this was a blind date then,” Kurt said. He tried to be flirty, like he would be on any date, but he could tell it came out a little too icily and Blaine’s pleased expression slipped for just a moment. Kurt bit back a grimace. “I only meant,” Kurt faltered, “expectations can play games with you.”

Blaine audibly sucked in a breath through his nose, lifting his chin a fraction in Kurt’s direction. “Yes, I suppose that’s true,” Blaine said. “It’s not often you get set up with your high school rival.”

Kurt wondered if Blaine would have come if he’d known it was Kurt he’d be dining with. Or if he himself would have agreed to it if he’d known it was Blaine. Sitting here across the table from him now he still wasn’t sure. He felt like such a different person now than he had been in high school; he could give Blaine as much credit as he’d expect to get.

“Oh my god, high school was forever ago.” Kurt attempted to wave away awkwardness with a laugh. “Water under the bridge.” He could see Blaine force a smile at him from across the table, but he appeared relieved.

“Not wearing your Cheerio uniform anymore I see?” Blaine teased.

“No, no Cheerio uniform,” Kurt answered, forcing a smile. Then, before he could stop himself, “I see you’re still sporting Brooks Brothers - even if a more sophisticated version.” Something flashed dark in Blaine’s eyes, but he pasted on a smile in an instant.

“Hey man,” Sam interrupted. “As much fun it sounds to rehash your old high school rivalry, I'm hungry.” He tapped at his menu.

That got Kurt’s attention, and he shook his head once and smiled at Sam, ignoring the flush that crawled up his neck and hoping everyone else would too. He wasn't sure how he felt when he noticed Blaine’s cheeks coloring as well across the table.

“Yes, yes of course,” Kurt said and took a sip of water to give himself a minute to collect himself. There was no reason Blaine should get under his skin at this point. He was far from the eager, blushing virgin he’d been when he and Blaine first encountered each other.

“It’s great to finally meet you, Kurt,” Sam said. “Of course, Blaine used to talk - ow! Dude!” Sam gave Blaine a harsh look.

“What?” Blaine looked at Sam with an innocently puzzled expression.

Sam rolled his eyes at Blaine. “Whatever.” He turned back to Kurt.

“You know, before you got here Mercedes was telling us about how you guys reconnected so long after high school, maybe you and Blaine can bury the - shit!” The table shifted and both Blaine and Sam’s water toppled to the table.

Kurt bit his lip to keep from laughing as Sam made a ‘wtf?’ gesture at Blaine and righted the glasses, mopping up as much water as he could before the waiter came and took over.

‘Like I said earlier, high school is - thankfully - in the past.” Kurt glanced at Blaine, who was looking at Kurt now with a wary curiosity as the waiter fussed around him. “How long have you and Blaine known each other?” he asked, once the table had been put back together.

“Oh, wow.” Sam paused, looking at the ceiling for a moment. “Well, we’ve been friends since sixth grade. ”

“Oh really? That’s a long time.” Kurt looked between the two men. Blaine had gone quiet, and was staring at a spot on the tablecloth. Blaine had obviously mentioned Kurt to Sam at some point in their past. “So you know all of Blaine’s secrets, I imagine?”

“Pretty much, yeah.” Sam smirked, and Kurt realized that Sam probably knew everything. If that was true he was the only one who did. This was not a conversational road Kurt wanted to travel tonight.

“So what brings you to New York, Blaine?” Kurt changed the subject. Somehow talking about Blaine was easier than talking about himself. And wasn’t that strange. “When Mercedes roped me into this she mentioned that Sam’s roommate had only just moved to New York.”

Blaine chuckled, blushing just a little. “I um, I opened the Chicago cast of School of Rock last year, and they just moved me to Broadway. I start at the Winter Garden in two weeks.”

Kurt sat up. “Wow. That's impressive.” Kurt was surprised that the idea of Blaine on Broadway didn’t even make him jealous. He’d been lucky since graduating from Tisch and he had plenty on his plate right now.

Blaine shrugged. “It's kind of an old show at this point, but it still has ticket sales for the next year. I just hope I don't screw it up for the next guy.”

“Who knows?” Kurt said. “Maybe they'll keep you on for a while?” Blaine shrugged again, but his eyes were trained on Kurt in a way that, if this had been an actual date, would have given Kurt a lot of ideas about what they would be doing after dessert. Or possibly instead of. But it wasn’t an actual date. “I’m sure you’re a great Dewey.” Kurt grinned. “You’ve got the hair for it.”

“You’ve done pretty well, I think?” Blaine said. “Can I ask you how you hooked up with Saturday Night Live? How do you even get an audition for that?”

He shouldn’t be surprised that Blaine knew this, SNL was a huge show. Still, it felt a little bit gratifying to know that Blaine had paid some attention to his career.

“Well my amazing lack of an ability to be cast in more traditional roles carried on into NYU,” Kurt started. Blaine frowned and looked guiltily at Kurt. Maybe this wasn’t as neutral a topic as Kurt expected. “It’s not - It’s fine, you know. I know that I don’t pass as well as some other actors. I’ve accepted as much of that reality as I can, I guess. I’m never going to play a straight romantic lead, and there aren’t enough gay ones yet to keep us all employed.” Kurt smirked, trying to play it off as a joke, but Blaine shifted in his chair, reaching for his wine.

“It’s not really fair though, is it.” The way Blaine said it made it clear that it wasn’t a question.

“No, but that hasn’t seemed to be much of an issue for you.” Blaine looked stricken, and Kurt could hear Mercedes sharp inhale next to him. Kurt instantly regretted saying it. “I’m sorry. That probably wasn’t fair either.”

“We’re all battling something, I think,” Blaine offered, some of the shock draining from his face, but Kurt still felt bad. “So, um, go on, please.”

Kurt glanced at Mercedes, who gave a quick nod for him to go on. “Okay, well, I connected with an off campus improv group over that first summer, and I spent lot of time with them. It was amazing and I learned so much from just being on a stage every night, in front of people. And it turned out I was good at it.”

“That does not surprise me at all,” Blaine said. “You’ve always been very in the moment. I mean in your performances.” Blaine fiddled with the stem of his glass. “From what I remember, anyway,” he finished weakly, glancing at the table and then back at Kurt.

Blaine was looking at him so intensely now that it was Kurt’s turn to shift uncomfortably. There had been more than one time in high school when he had seen that look on Blaine’s face. He wasn’t sophisticated enough to be able to read it then. But he could read it now. “Thank you.”

Appetizers arrived, and the waiter refilled their wine glasses. Kurt was grateful for the time to compose himself.

“Ooh! Tell him about your plays,” Mercedes said. “Kurt writes plays, good ones,” she went on. “He’s had two of them produced just before the SNL gig came up.”

“Wow, really?” Blaine lit up, and the tension from before dissipated. “Maybe, if you have some time, you can give me some recommendations for some smaller productions. I have a couple weeks to kill before I have to start and I was hoping to get in as many different theater experiences as I can before my time is no longer my own.”

Kurt agreed to give Blaine some recommendations, and went on to tell the story of how someone from the SNL cast was in his second play, which started the long and winding road to him getting a shot to write for the show. By his sixth episode he was appearing in crowd skits, and he was asked to join the cast just before his second year when a couple of long time cast members decided not to return.

“That’s really amazing Kurt. Congratulations.” Blaine raised his half empty glass in a toast, smiling pleasantly at Kurt. “It’s well deserved.”

The four of them chatted amiably through the rest of the meal. Kurt was happy to find that Sam was obviously smitten with Mercedes, so he could stop worrying about her.

“Have you heard from Rachel lately?” Blaine asked. “I mean, after that whole NYADA debacle.” Blaine made a horrified face.

Kurt bristled. He didn’t want to - he had been lucky not to get into NYADA, ultimately, but for some reason it remained a sore spot. Even after it was exposed as a scam school, defrauding its students and their parents out of millions of dollars before its lack of accreditation was made public. Kurt had had to live through the school’s unmasking every step of the way as Rachel scrambled to come up with alternatives. In the end she just packed up and moved to Los Angeles, but a lot of other students hadn’t been so lucky.

“She’s doing great, she’s in LA, getting a lot of guest spots on various television series, but hasn’t landed a permanent role yet.”

“I guess you really dodged a bullet there,” Blaine said.

“Not like I was exactly placed in the line of fire, was I?” Kurt felt surly all of a sudden. “You know, I think I’ll skip dessert, if it’s all the same to everyone.”

“‘Line of fire?’ What’s that supposed to mean?” Blaine sat back in his chair, eyebrows raised and obviously offended.

“Kurt, they have cheesecake.” Mercedes pointed to the dessert menu, her eyes narrowed in a warning. Kurt knew her well enough to know she was irritated at him. “It’s supposed to be amazing.”

Kurt tuned Mercedes out. “It means that if anyone dodged a bullet it was you, going to Pittsburgh instead.”

“Kurt, you can’t still be sour about NYADA rejecting you, come on! They were a total Ponzi scheme.”

Sam looked puzzled. “What is that? Is that like one of those witches covens?”

Blaine’s attention shifted to Sam. “No Sam, they weren’t witches. But they did charge their students a lot of money and didn’t actually teach them anything. Or give them a degree.”

“Yeah, well finding out you were rejected not because of talent, but because they figured out your dad couldn’t afford tuition, room, and board, didn’t exactly make me feel better.” Kurt crossed his arms and huffed as he leaned back in his chair.

“And you think knowing they only offered me based on my family’s finances made me feel great about it?” Blaine said.

Sam motioned for the check. “Mercedes, I saw a great ice cream place on the corner, would you like to split a sundae?” He looked at Kurt and Blaine, who were now silently glaring at one another. “Just the two of us?”

“Sam, that sounds like an excellent idea.” Sam went to pull out Mercedes chair; as she stood up, she stared down Kurt with a look that made him suddenly feel like a huge jerk.

“I’m sorry,” he mouthed at her.

Mercedes grabbed Kurt’s arm as he stood, holding him a step back as Sam and Blaine walked toward the exit. “I don’t think it’s me you owe an apology to, Kurt. Although you can buy me brunch on Sunday and we will discuss what the hell you think you were doing tonight.”

Once they had exited the restaurant, Sam hugged Blaine, then turned and shook Kurt’s hand. “Kurt, again it was nice meeting you. Good to put a face to all the stories I’ve heard.” Kurt blushed as Sam winked at him again, and his stomach dropped. Sam probably had the whole list of Blaine’s conquests memorized so he could keep track when Blaine ranked them on gay-bro night. Kurt watched Sam turn and offer his arm to Mercedes; as she took it, she turned and looked over her shoulder one last time at Kurt and Blaine, who both stood on the sidewalk, not looking at each other.

She whispered loudly, “Y’all better settle your business and make peace, you hear me?”

Kurt kicked the sidewalk, watching Mercedes and Sam walk away. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

“She’s your friend, Kurt.” Blaine stood with his hands in his pockets, head cocked to one side. “And I’m pretty sure she watched us both behave like children for a large portion of this evening, so she kinda does.”

Kurt didn’t really want the answer to the next question. He wasn’t even sure why it mattered at this point. “So how much does Sam actually know?”

“Sam knows everything, he knows everything about me.” Blaine paused, rubbing his hands over his face. “He knows I met you before I transferred. And he knows, well, we have a little history. ” His voice was strangled. “I talked to him a lot during that year at McKinley. It wasn’t the best time for me either you know.”

“Oh god.”

“He’s my best friend Kurt, you’ll have to excuse me if I told him things that happened in my life.” Blaine paced in a circle. “There were times when he was the only person who cared!”

Kurt scoffed. “You had a lot of friends, if I remember correctly.”

“People liked me, yes. But that’s because I never challenged anything they thought. I didn’t stand up for myself, not at school. I did what was expected of me to fit in. That’s how I got by. Being popular is different than having friends who actually understand you. I was pretty sure you understood that, even then.” Blaine threw his arms up. “It was forever ago, Kurt. And you hated me back then!”

Kurt was silent. He’d heard people say, more than once, that the scars of high school really do fade once you get away. Even after only a few years Kurt could look back with clearer eyes on the whole experience. Everyone struggled, he realized that now even if he couldn’t then. Blaine just seemed to bring out his bitchy side.

“I didn't hate you.”

Blaine was looking at Kurt like he’d started speaking a foreign language. “Oh my god were you not there? You were so mean to me Kurt.” Blaine was staring at him, his eyes all hurt and pleading, and definitely something more.

“You made everything so much more difficult.” Kurt hugged himself as they stood on the New York street, staring at each other. It was almost too much. “I was jealous. Everything had been so hard, and you showed up and it was like nothing I had done had mattered.” He sighed. “I guess nothing is ever really what it looks like, is it?”

Blaine shook his head, shrugged his whole body as he looked up at the sky then back at Kurt.

“I’m sorry, Kurt. I really am,” Blaine said, sounding hopeless, then pleading, “I was just trying to get by.” He held a hand out in front of him, then dropped it to his side. “Like you.” Blaine paused again shaking his head. “God we can’t seem to get this right. If we could start over again maybe w -”

“We’d what Blaine? What could we have done differently?” Kurt didn’t know why he was continuing to have this - argument? discussion? Whatever it was, he knew he didn’t want to end it and have them both just walk away. Blaine was staring at him. Well, Blaine was staring at his mouth, open desire etched across his face. Kurt blinked. They were much closer than they had been just a moment ago.

“Kurt.” Blaine was breathing hard.

“Get a cab.”

Blaine spun on his heel and flung his arm out into the street. He opened the door of the taxi that pulled up to the curb so Kurt could get in, then climbed in beside him, slamming the door shut. The cab didn’t move.

The cab driver turned around and looked at them. “Where you headed?”

Blaine was leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his face buried in his hands. “I'm sleeping on Sam’s pullout sofa.”

Kurt gave the driver his address.

They were silent in the cab, Kurt staring out the window while Blaine’s fingers tapped steadily on his knee, but once they were in the apartment and Kurt had locked the door Blaine grabbed him by the wrists and pushed him up against the door, sealing his mouth over Kurt’s with a grunt.

“I spent most of senior year thinking about you while I jerked off,” Blaine hissed. “It didn’t matter how much you hated me, I, god -” Kurt pushed his tongue into Blaine’s mouth, licking wildly. Blaine pinned Kurt's hands to either side of his head, hard against the door, so Kurt moved his hips against him, his own erection pressing eagerly against the front of his snug jeans. “I still think about you coming all over me in the back seat of that car, that noise you made, that first time? Still top three in my spank bank, Kurt.”

Kurt moaned as Blaine kissed across his jaw.

“What are the other two?” Kurt managed to gasp out, trying to maintain some control over himself. He was failing fast.

Blaine chuckled into his ear. “Those fucking pants you wore at the NYADA audition. My god I wanted to blow you so bad. I’d never -” Blaine moaned.

“I jerked myself raw that weekend thinking about you,” Kurt confessed as Blaine’s hips pressed him hard against the door. “I had to hide in my room and wear sweatpants for two days my dick was so sore. My dad thought I was sick.”

“Oh my god.” Blaine let go of one hand and reached to cup Kurt’s cock, rubbing hard against the material. He took Kurt’s hand and pressed it between his own legs, up against his erection.

Kurt panted into Blaine’s mouth. “That was the first time I ever, oh fuck, the first time I ever fingered myself.” Blaine whimpered.

“I’m gonna come Kurt, in my pants right here. Like a fucking teenager.”

“Ohmygod we should have done this in high school.” Kurt squeezed Blaine’s cock through his pants and he jerked closer. “I’m sorry I was such an ass to you,” he panted. “I had a lot of anger issues.”

Blaine ignored that as he huffed against Kurt’s neck, sucking hard below his ear, jerking Kurt off over his jeans. “Come on, come on Kurt.”

Kurt’s cock throbbed and he came with a choked off sob, soaking his underwear through to his jeans until Blaine was rubbing wet come around with his hand on the front of his pants. Blaine pushed his fingers underneath the waistband of Kurt's pants, fingering the soft, wet head of his cock until Kurt twitched away.

“Fuck. Your turn.” Kurt caught Blaine’s cheek with his free hand, holding his face still so he could bite Blaine’s bottom lip, rubbing his cock through the thick fabric of his suit. Blaine shuddered, coming with a long moan in his expensive wool trousers.

Kurt wanted to fall to the floor, but Blaine kept him pinned to the door as they both caught their breath and their senses. Kurt’s eyes darted around his dark apartment, waiting for Blaine to move. Blaine didn’t pull away, he pressed his mouth against Kurt’s neck with a gentle suck, kissing back across his jaw until Kurt tilted his head to kiss him back.

“Come on,” Kurt mumbled into Blaine’s mouth. “Shower.”

Kurt ignored the soggy mess in his pants, trying hard not to think about how that was one of the hottest things that had ever happened to him. New York had offered plenty of opportunities for Kurt to settle into himself, and his first two years of college he’d gotten some unexpectedly wild behavior out of his system. This night was promising to be up there.

When they got to the bathroom Kurt looked at himself in the mirror - there were marks on his neck and his skin was flushed from his collarbone to his ears. He peeled off his clothes, adding them to the pile Blaine had started on the floor. When he turned around Blaine was bent over the edge of his tub, completely naked, trying to turn the shower on. Kurt couldn’t stop a laugh from bubbling out.

“Everyone looks incompetent trying to work a strange shower,” Blaine said over his shoulder. “And I am nervous as fuck Kurt. How do you turn this thing on?” He stood and turned around, catching Kurt looking. “Are you staring at my ass?”

Kurt shrugged one shoulder. “It’s a nice ass.” Blaine ducked his head and blushed, moving aside as Kurt leaned in to turn on the shower. “You’re standing naked in my bathroom Blaine, don’t you think it’s a little late to be coy about it?”

Blaine crossed his arms across his chest and Kurt had to look away, fiddling with the water temperature to distract him from the naked man standing next to him. “I’m actually hoping that it’s not too late for a lot of things.”

In Kurt’s previous experiences showering with someone was always a little awkward at first; were you showering? Were you making out? How far did the other guy want to go? When were you supposed to ask? What if you had to call 911? Kurt still had visions of slipping in the middle of shower sex and having to explain to his dad what had happened. It was a lot to navigate.

He stepped into the shower, tugging Blaine behind him until they were both under the water, and Blaine didn’t give him a lot of time to ponder. He stepped into Kurt’s space, hands reaching for his face and pulling him into a heated kiss. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine’s shoulders and went with it. This kiss was intense in a different way than the one at the door when they had come in. If Blaine had attacked his mouth before, now he was memorizing it.

“Wow,” he said, breathless once Blaine pulled away. Blaine kissed him again, a quick one as his hands worked their way to Kurt’s waist.

“Kurt, I need to ask -” Blaine ran his hands over Kurt’s sides as the water ran down his back. “Did you get taller?”

Kurt laughed and threw his head back under the water. Grinning he rested his forehead against Blaine’s. “Yes.

“How?”

“The puberty train hit me late. I had quite the growth spurt freshman year.”

“Well that seems rather unfair,” Blaine said, pecking him on the corner of his mouth. “And also insanely hot I’ve got to say.”

Kurt leaned into another kiss, then Blaine reached for the shower gel over Kurt’s shoulder and they actually took a few minutes to soap up and rinse off. Taking turns under the spray, they washed the product out of their hair. When they were finished Kurt reached his arms around Blaine and hauled him in for another kiss, this time letting his hands wander down to Blaine’s ass. Kurt slid slippery fingers between his cheeks, pressing lightly as Blaine moved closer with a soft oh okay. Kurt squeezed one thick cheek with his other hand and Blaine gasped.

“I have to be honest Blaine, I’m not sure I’d have known what to do with an ass like yours in high school, if we’d ever taken it that far.”

Blaine giggled against Kurt’s neck. “Are you sure you know what to do with it now?”

Blaine’s hips were working against Kurt and Kurt could see and feel Blaine starting to get hard again. Kurt wasn’t going to be far behind him. He grinned into a kiss, pulling Blaine’s cheeks apart while teasing one finger between them. “Uh huh.”

Kurt spun Blaine around until he was facing the shower wall, tilting the shower head so it wouldn’t rain on his face, and dropped to his knees. Blaine’s ass was so thick Kurt had to hold his cheeks open so he could get his tongue on Blaine’s hole. Normally he would have taken more time, teased his partner until his rim was twitching, begging for something inside it. But this time he wanted it more than he wanted to tease. He wanted to taste, to take, to leave a mark. He spread Blaine wider, frantically licking at his damp skin until he’d licked away the water and his crack was dripping with spit, his tiny hole puckering impatiently.

Blaine shifted, spreading his thighs in the small space, and Kurt sat back on his heels to keep from slipping. When Blaine had started fisting his cock Kurt nipped at the tender skin of Blaine's ass to get his attention.

“We should move to the bedroom,” he said.

“Hunh?” Blaine turned to look down at him, a little glassy eyed. Kurt stood and wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling his back snug against him, knowing Blaine could feel Kurt’s erection pressing against his ass.

“You don't need to break your ankle two weeks before your Broadway debut.”

Blaine chuckled, nuzzling his head back against Kurt. “You're probably right.” Blaine twisted in Kurt’s arms, searching for a kiss Kurt willingly gave.

Kurt shut off the water, reaching for one of his oversized towels and wrapping Blaine in it long enough to keep him from dripping all over his apartment, then did the same for himself. Kurt’s bedroom was just on the other side of his small kitchen, so he led a naked Blaine through to his bedroom. Once inside Blaine pulled him in for another deep kiss.

“Do you want something? Water?”

Blaine shook his head, hands moving to stroke Kurt until he was hard. “Later.”

“Get on your belly then, I’m not done with you,” Kurt whispered, surprised at the husky sound of his own voice. Blaine grinned, ‘okay’, kissing Kurt once with a smack and scrambling to the bed. Kurt joined him, pressing lips against the back of his neck, arching so the length of his cock settled in the cleft of Blaine’s ass. Kurt wanted to take the time to explore; Blaine’s body was gorgeous and there was a lot to enjoy. He didn’t want to dwell on whether he would have another chance.

So he kissed across Blaine’s shoulders, licking the salty taste of the sweat that prickled on Blaine’s skin, even after the shower. Kurt kissed and bit, and memorized every sound Blaine made while he did. When he reached Blaine’s ass, he dug in, tongue firm against Blaine’s pucker until it was twitching, inviting. He pressed his thumb carefully against the invitation.

“Can I fuck you?” Kurt asked, loud in the quiet dark.

Blaine shifted, hugging a pillow under his chest. “Oh, god, I wish you would.”

Kurt scrambled to the side table, retrieving condoms and lube before settling between Blaine’s thighs and spreading them just a bit more. Blaine hitched his ass up in the air, spreading his cheeks wide. “You look amazing,” Kurt breathed; he had to slow down and squeeze his cock to keep under control. The last thing he wanted was to come before they even got started. He couldn’t embarrass himself now that they’d gotten this far.

He pressed his middle finger against Blaine’s twitching hole, teasing in and out a few times before sliding it up to the last knuckle; after a few twists, he added a second finger, turning them against the press of the tight muscle. Blaine sighed and Kurt could see and feel the tension leaving his body. “How many do you need?” he asked, stroking himself as his fingers worked Blaine open.

“One more.” Blaine hugged the pillow tighter and wriggled a little, fucking himself on Kurt’s fingers. “But not for long, just a little more.”

Kurt nodded, more to himself than to Blaine, who had pressed his face against the bed; he added more lube and a third finger, twisting them until he could feel the stretch. The god Kurt Blaine moaned was enough of a check in for Kurt, so he rolled on a condom and pressed his cock against Blaine’s hole. Blaine pushed back and Kurt watched as the head disappeared inside; he waited a moment for Blaine to nod, then pressed in, slowly. Blaine, gasping, begged him to move, and with one hand on the bed and one gripping Blaine’s shoulder he pulled out, pushing in again slowly, and again until they found a rhythm, Blaine working as eagerly to fuck Kurt as Kurt had ever had in a partner, if not more so.

“Mmm, Blaine?” Kurt bent low, mouthing at Blaine’s ear, his hips making a smacking noise as he “How long can I keep fucking you?”

Blaine twisted under Kurt, wrapping his arm around him and mouthing at his neck. “I don’t know,” he panted, almost giggling. “How long can you keep fucking me?”

Kurt bit at Blaine’s lip. “I see, okay.” Kurt mouthed at Blaine’s neck, then pulled back, pressing him down to the bed before sitting up on his knees. He pulled Blaine’s hips higher, but Blaine pushed up until he was on all fours, laughing as he glanced back at Kurt.

“Go on,” he invited.

Eyes locked onto Blaine’s, Kurt reached blindly for more lube, squirting an excessive amount into his hand before slicking his cock and wiping the excess over Blaine’s puffy hole. Eyes still on Blaine he pushed his cock back in, a satisfying thrill shooting up his spine when Blaine closed his eyes and gasped. After that there was no more talking, or teasing, or asking anything; just the slap of skin on hot skin, sweat dripping down Kurt’s back, droplets collecting in the dimples above Blaine’s ass. They fucked until Kurt’s thighs were shaking, until he was sure he would pass out if he came, until Kurt couldn’t hold off one more second. Then with a strangled cry that sounded like it could have been “Kurt,” Blaine reached for his cock and pushed back hard, grinding his ass against Kurt until he came, and Kurt could only give in, fucking them both through each pulse until they were spent.

Kurt could feel Blaine’s legs start to give out, so he grabbed him around his hips, holding him close until his cock softened and he had to pull out. Blaine fell to the bed with a muffled “nggghh.”

Kurt must have passed out for a few minutes, because when he opened his eyes he was still wearing the used condom, and Blaine was naked and sprawled next to him on top of the coverlet, making snuffling noises. He took care of the condom first, then stood on wobbly legs and went to the bathroom. He considered a shower, given how much sweat had already dried on him, but sleep beckoned, so he wiped himself with the still damp towel from earlier and brought a wet towel for Blaine.

When he got back to the bedroom Blaine was still asleep. Kurt sat next to him on the edge of the bed, shaking his shoulder until he woke.

“Hey, I didn’t want to freak you out when I wiped up all the lube.” Kurt chuckled, and Blaine shifted until he was raised on his elbows. “We made quite the mess.”

“Mmm, yeah.” Blaine grinned sloppily. “No complaints.”

Kurt finished wiping the worst of it, and Blaine escaped to washup. While he was gone Kurt pulled the mussed covers off and sat on the bed. Should he put something on? Did Blaine want to stay? Kurt was pretty sure he wanted him to stay, but what would happen after the morning was anyone’s guess, Kurt wasn’t sure he could think that far. Was this the marathon to ‘get it out of their system’ that they’d apparently always needed? Or was there a future? Or maybe they’d just be friends after. Like they couldn’t manage to do when they were young and took everything too seriously.

He was still contemplating when Blaine rejoined him in the bedroom, still gloriously naked. Kurt had hooked up with some good looking men in the last six years, but Blaine was definitely in the top two.

“Hey,” Blaine said, sitting next to him on the bed. “I don’t know what you had in mind, but I’d really like to stay. If that’s okay.” The question was confident, but Blaine looked like he expected to be shot down. He wasn’t going to be, not tonight.

Kurt leaned in, kissing him almost chastely, considering their evening so far. “Please stay.”

[exploringfiction]

Yuri On Ice - Groundbreaking representation or cheap fanservice?

DISCLAIMER! This is all my own opinion. If you disagree with what i say, ignore the post, or better, start a debate with what you think, and I’ll be happy to discuss our points of view.

If you’ve had any sort of internet connection in recent months, you’ve heard of Yuri On Ice, the ice-skating anime that’s taken the internet by storm. The hype grew out of nowhere - Yuri On Ice (YOI) has no manga or light novel source material. The show grew so massive for one reason; at face value, YOI is centred around two male ice skaters who fall in love. Yes, I said at face value, because on further inspection into the anime, the two ‘romantic leads’ never actually confirm their relationship. So why all the fuss?

The premise

Yuri on Ice starts out as the story of Yuri Katsuki (YK), a figure skater with anxiety who majorly messes up his skate in the Grand Prix Final (a skating competition), thus coming last place and losing his self-confidence. So far, so basic shounen sports anime. He goes back to Japan, where *plot twist* his childhood idol Viktor Nikiforov (VN) is chilling in the bath, and says he will be YK’s personal skating instructor. This causes some beef between YK and Yuri Plisetsky (YP), who VN had earlier promised to train. The rest of the story is YK overcoming his anxiety and performing in competitions, and the season ends with him placing second after YP in the Grand Prix. With fanservice.

Why does everyone think it’s gay?

Firstly, YOI started out strong with astronomically high levels of homoerotic fanservice. Like, higher than Free! levels of fanservice. In the first episode alone, VN turns up naked in YK’s home, and makes sexually charged statements, such as asking to ‘sleep’ with YK. The turning point however, from Free! knockoff to ‘hey this might actually be LGBT rep’ was the infamous ‘kiss’ in episode 7. Of course, there is a slight issue with this scene.

We don’t actually see the kiss.

This was chalked up by the fandom to gay censorship by Japanese television, however this is not actually true. M/M kisses have been shown on television multiple times, the most notable examples in recent years being NO.6, Mirai Nikki and Shinsekai Yori. This is when the first alarm bells go off, because this is blatant queerbaiting. The promise of a kiss that is never seen and could be easily put down as a hug is Grade A, perfect queerbaiting. This is furthered in episode 10, where YK and VN exchange rings in a romantic style, yet YK insists that they are good luck charms, and VN jokes that he will only marry YK if he wins the Grand Prix. The relationship remains unconfirmed, although there is a pair skate after the credits on the final episode, although this is also not confirmed as a ‘couple skate’.

But what’s the issue, you ask? The relationship is never explicitly stated, yet you can quite easily infer that it is canon, as most of the fandom has. Well, ask yourself - if the couple in question was straight, would this even be a question? The answer is no. Straight couples in romances almost always make the relationship explicit, whether that be through a direct confession or a kiss on the lips. As YOI stands, it is similar to Free! in that the romance can only be inferred, although it certainly has a lot more ‘proof’ (and less actual plot, if we’re being honest here).

Many members of the fandom would disagree, but I firmly believe that YOI is a queerbait anime, and that YK/VN is not canon.

The pros

As much as YOI may be queerbaiting, it did manage to do some good things.

The soundtrack. The opening was an instant hit among fans, and I personally loved the ending theme.

The scenery shots. Although the skating animation left much to be desired, the slower and more scenery-based shots were beautifully drawn.

The diversity. The other skaters were from a range of countries, including Thailand, Kazakstan, China, and Canada, and the USA was represented by a Latino, which was lovely as we do not usually see these nationalities represented.

The side characters. Not going to lie, I thought some of the side characters were better developed than the two mains, especially JJ, Phichit, Otabek, and YP (does he count as a side character?).

YK didn’t win! Now there’s a deviation from a popular trope.

Georgi Popovich. That is all.

The cons (don’t hate me i beg)

The characterisation of YK and VN. I felt like YK was a bland character, with only the anxiety as a real character quirk. TBH, he felt like a self-insert character for the watcher to project their own personality onto. VN didn’t have much of a personality and seemed to be put there as a saviour character/love interest for YK.

YK’s character design. Just my opinion, but I felt like his design was bland and standard anime protag-ish.

The skating animation. Kind of beating a dead horse here but yeah, it’s iffy. They also reused a lot of sequences and spent waaaay too much time on the competition skates, which got kind of boring after a while.

The plot. It was very stereotypical - protag meets saviour who teaches them shizz and they go on to do GREAT THINGS.

The fanservice. I’m not judging anyone who likes a bit of fanservice (I’m not impartial myself), but to me the fanservice in YOI was creepy and left a bad taste in my mouth. However that’s just how I felt, so don’t feel bad if you enjoyed it. Better in anime than real life eh?

So why is it so popular?

If you’ve come this far, and have never seen YOI, you may be wondering, ‘but how did this mediocre show come so far?’ YOI has enjoyed insane popularity - it crashed Crunchyroll and Tumblr when the final episode aired, and it took the Crunchyroll awards by storm, taking home first place in every category it was nominated in (it was decided by popular vote). Some people (me) would even call it the biggest anime since Attack on Titan, due to the amount of non-’otaku’ viewers - that is, people who do not usually watch anime.

My theory is this. Despite YOI being a pretty mediocre show, the creators know their target audience incredibly well. The teenage girl. What do teenage girls, especially those who like anime, tend to be into? Gay boys.

Usually shows aimed at this demographic go one of two ways. The way of Free!  where there is plenty of fanservice, and lots of homoerotic tension, but nothing is ever canon, or goes as far as creating a believable but not canon romance. Or the way of Diabolik lovers, where there is a reverse harem situation, with the girl’s personality so bland that the audience can project their own personality onto her and ‘live’ the romance through a proxy. Maybe with some sexual tension between the boys for laughs (and shippers)

So what did YOI do? It combined the two. It took a bland protagonist, and mixed it with a very heavily implied gay romance, and stuffed it into a plot about ice skating. It then added moderate fanservice, but nothing too strong that would force it into a sort of reverse-ecchi genre. Combine this with a couple of moments that will convince the fans that the relationship is real (and to add interest to the show), and you have the perfect anime for teenage girls.

And it paid off. Sales of YOI Blu-rays and merch are extremely high, and the fanbase is massive enough to call it a total success. I admire YOI to be honest for knowing their target demographic so darn well. To be honest, I think the reason they didn’t make YK/VN canon was to avoid any potential homophobic backlash, but if they had made it explicit I think the show would be just as, if not more popular. And despite not being a canon romance, YOI has indeed sparked a larger discussion about LGBT representation in media, and the fandom has certainly shown showrunners that gay couples = big money. Hopefully, more anime, and indeed Western, directors, will notice the success of YOI and use it to create shows with legitimate LGBT leads and romances. And if you are a fan of YOI, don’t worry! Just because I dislike the show does not mean you are wrong or bad for loving it, canon couple or not. That’s the great thing about opinion!

Who knows, maybe after all the positive feedback, VN/YK will become canon in season 2?

TL;DR: Yuri On Ice is certainly a queerbait in my opinion, due to Viktor and Yuri not being a canon couple. However, the show has still opened up a valuable dialogue about LGBT rep in media, and has shown that a show with a leading gay ‘romance’ can be just as successful as one with a straight couple.

Thank you for reading!

- H

[fe14fiction-blog]

hi, mod lilith! :D do you think you could make a post listing the matchup requests you've gotten and will do? just so we know if you've received ours! it can be a hassle though, so please don't feel pressured to >

hi! could i have a matchup? im a gay boy and id like an awakening match please c: im very kind and i like being and caregiver to people. im really shy though, and it kind take time for me to open up. when i do open up however, im very loud and carefree and i like cracking jokes and messing around. i love singing and i have an interest in rapping and song writing, but im also an artist. i work very hard and i can get very serious and competitive. im also really sensitive and i cry alot and easily        

I'm 19, male, and straight. INFP and Sagittarius. On the bigger and taller side too. I'm mostly interested in gaming and anime, but I also read quite a number of books. I enjoy debating philosophy and religion, but to be frank, I'll debate anything that I can debate. Personality-wise, I have two outward expressions: stoic and emotionless, and smug half grin. I'm usually pretty antisocial, but I like the company of like-minded people. Basically, those I can battle my wits against, and vice versa. A bit follow up, as I ran out of room. I'd prefer a character from Fates, please. And don't let my profile picture make you feel biased towards Soleil. I just like the picture itself. I wish you luck with these, and I thank you for offering to do them! Keep posting all the great content! Good night for now!    

Hi!! Could I get a matchup please, if the mini event is still happening? I was thinking Awakening characters, and I prefer guys. I am an Aquarius and infp; I like people who are very protective, and usually calmer/level headed. I enjoy people who make me feel significant and treat me fairly, and with plenty of attention. Thank you!                

Could I have a match for Fates, specifically Conquest; preferably a male character? I'm a shy person around people I don't know; yet I don't show it too much as I feel I need to force myself to be out there to make others feel comfortable. I have a short temper and am a very sarcastic person by nature. I take things seriously if needed but tend to like to be the one cracking jokes to ease serious tension. I get nervous often in public situations etc. I enjoy reading and writing, I'm an Aries!      

Could I get awakening male match up? I'm a girl, pretty chill. I'm not the most outwardly social but I like talking to people more one on one and having kind of long conversations to really get to know someone. I do have depression though, and sometimes get days where it's bad, so basically just anyone caring and sweet is what I'd look for, but I'm okay with whatever. Thank you!!!!!!!!!                

May I have an Awakening matchup? I'm a female looking for a male. Logically minded, but creative. I like cooking and playing video games and I spend a lot of time taking care of my siblings to help my parents out. Also ridden with anxiety and ADHD, but I work through that by working out (I'm in the gym three times a week). Total cat lady. Happiest when I'm alone, but I dearly love my small circle of friends. Also, if it helps, I'm an INTP and Aquarius. Thank you!

For Match-Up; From the Awakening men, please! As for the person to be matched, he is kind and gentle with a soft, warm smile. Patience and optimism are his strongest points being he is never known to lose heart or give up. He does tend to lose track of his own health due to his diligence in his duties though. His mind is sharp however, and often used to devise new and clever approaches to things. He is also a Mage. ISFP-type personality, falling under the Lawful Good morality.                  

Sorry if I'm sending this through via the wrong method! I'd like to give your match-ups a try (if that's okay) Game: Fates (I don't care which path) MBTI: INTJ (more turbulent) Astrological Sign: Cancer What I like personality wise: • Someone that I can discuss intellectual (especially history-related things) with • Able to comfort/chill someone out • More "mature" (stoic is even okay) • Determined in one way or another • Doesn't mind cats • Does well with a busy partner • Is a guy Thanks! 😸Oh geez, it didn't occur to me that you wanted more info on us as opposed to what we like in relationships. Terribly sorry! It's probably too late, but here's some info on myself (I submitted my request prior to the deadline, but if it was too little info.  too late, I totally understand) I'm quite the worry wart use ten words when two would do honestly. I'm a major "dilettante", I dabble in many things but have mastered none. I don't handle extreme emotions all that well. Sorry, and thanks!                            

I'd like a match up for an awakening character please. No second gens though and preferably a guy. I'm a girl who likes art, reading, and crafting. I have an INFP personality type and I'm a Leo. I tend to keep to myself mostly so someone else would have to initiate conversation. I love animals but I hate bugs. My favorite genre to read is adventure because I find my real life about as interesting as a stale corn chip. True to my zodiac sign my pride is everything to me.                        

id like an Awakening matchup! Second gen is fine! im 5'8, pan, virgo, INFJ girl with long af brown hair and freckles around my nose and cheeks. im reserved when you first talk to me and its hard for me to really trust people sometimes even if im already close with them. i also make self deprecating jokes to cope w not liking myself a whole lot. im pretty spacey too and i have a hard time remembering stuff. i draw a lot digitally and traditionally and i write sometimes too. thanks in advance!                    

Hi~ I'd like to request a matchup please! Game: Conquest (all the guys I want to marry are in Nohr oops). Please skip the 2nd gen. Personality: Pisces, INFP, Gryffindor. Easygoing, affable, humourous, thoughtful, observent, affectionate, ambivert, shy but doing my best to put myself out there, introspective, openminded, I've been told I come across as mysterious and intense by people I don't know well. Preference: open/fair minded, loves to learn and travel, even a little romantic/affectionate.         

fates matchup please? 😁 i'm a straight entj girl. i'm an outgoing person and take up a lot of leadership roles, e.g. i’m stuco president. i'm a little shy around people at first but i open up quickly. people say that i'm funny and smart, although i am a little mean and a perfectionist... i'm also actually wildly insecure lmao... i also love reading and writing. i don’t enjoy sports but i like volleyball! going out is fun but i can't be around people for too long and like alone time. thank you!  

May I please have match up for a male Fates character! Thank you! You're a doll for doin this! I'm generally a calm, if a bit moody kind of girl who adores cute things and nature! I always aim to please and I act sweet and innocent when really I'm only pretending so that people will like me. In reality I'm much more down to Earth and lonely and can care way to deeply about keeping up appearances when all I really want is for someone to look past my façade.

Can I get an Awakening Match-up please? Female, 5'9", strawberry blonde hair and grey eyes, INTP. Looking for a guy who's more of a sweetheart and would never raise his voice to me, long hair is preferred. I need someone who will be strong for me when I can't, and enjoys being showered with affection in return. I enjoy reading, drawing, and cooking. Please no second gen characters. Thanks a bunch!

Please could I ask a match with somebody from awakening. I do not mind which gender you choose. I'm a happy, bit cheeky, kind and caring person, it takes awhile for me to get angry and I will show sympathy to people who needs it. I like other people showing kindness to others and being friendly. I am a Taraus and I own Awakening, Birthright and Revelation      

I'm a Taurus whom has a love for food, music, and poetry, tries to keep things orderly in his life for the most part, and yet also loves to flatter those whom I love with compliments and gifts. No gender preference, Fates character.  

fates matchup? male please!! i'm an infp gemini,, i'm p outgoing and try to make friends w everyone (which can also be a bad thing bc rejection is the Worst) but i love making people laugh most of all!! i play sports solely for the team aspect (soccer n softball) so i'm also p athletic. but i also do love to write and am v easy-going!! thank u v much for doing these!  

Matchup for Fates! I'm an ace girl with romantic interest in everyone, 21 and only 5'3" and I'm kinda shy due to being Autistic. I love horses and archery though, with more interest in writing and drawing. I'm a Cancer, and my favorite time of day os the mid afternoon. I used to be a sport swimmer and diver, but now I enjoy the pool for fun. I can be a little overprotective of those I care for when new people come around as well!    

fates/conquest, preference male (anyone BUT Leo, Xander & Laslow), cancer & INFJ Tiny, quiet girl. Doesn't like war or fighting and just wants to make her friends and everyone around her happy. Enjoys music and can play almost every string instrument (except the viola) including the piano. She's very timid yet enjoys talking, especially about different lands and myths. She's kind of sick though and has medical issues that affect her ability to go out a lot. Has no preference for males.           

Match-up please! I'm a male who enjoys creative writing, animals, baking, fashion, and nature. I'm playful and tend to tease those who I'm close to. I'm pretty nerdy and I'm scared pretty easily. I also love terrible puns. I'm a Gemini, and I'd prefer a female from Fates! Children are fine, too!      

  Hi I'm hoping the matchup are still open, thank you for this!! I'd like someone from awakening and preferably one of the dudes pls :) I'm an istp, gryffindor and a Scorpio, I've been told I'm a bit intimidating as well as bold and a bit blunt, but also funny. I prefer to hang out with people who are honest and have integrity, people who start shit for no reason piss me off to no end. It doesn't matter if I don't share similar interests with people so long as we get along and have a good time c:  No Kid Characters      

For matchup I'd prefer Fates Second Gen characters except for anyone younger than Kiragi, I have no preference for Gender or Personality. As for my personality I'm a very lazy hermit who likes literature and I have a good memory. I can be shy and my mood changes a lot between pessimistic and optimistic. I'm also someone who likes to try new things a lot as long as it doesn't require much of physical activities. I also get lost a lot in my thoughts.      

Matchup if still open! I'm five foot 3 and INTP in personality. i don't mind either BR or CQ guys. I'm somewhat distant at first glance. I'm kinda moody and irrational, but try to hide that with jokes and silliness. I'm a pessimist at heart. Very picky about things too, whether it be food, clothes, friends, etc..   

Can I have an Awakening matchup? I'm a bisexual ESTJ 5'1 1/2" Pisces girl with too many things to say. I've been told my best traits were my charisma, imagination, consideration, and articulation but that I was stubborn and feisty and I can't be intimidating due to my height. I love engineering, history, and hands-on projects and people say I can never stop smiling. To my s/o I can offer comfort, humor, and perspective. They'd just have to deal with my strange sense of humor, unorthodox way to do things, and when I'm mad, a sharp tongue. But after any fights if I'm not blinded by my own stubbornness, I'll be the one to give in and ask for forgiveness. In the relationship I need someone as willing to hold it up and be a part of it as I am.