#could be happening more bc miles is embarrassed about it and does not want to talk about it

[varpusvaras]

I could use this in both Gregory lives AU's and Feyworth AU's (or in any au where Miles has some sort of actually protective sibling figure with him) but like. Miles is canonically considered very good-looking, and this gets commented on a lot. A lot lot. Most of the time to his face, and many times in a way that's honestly a bit...much. Like oh yes this handsome pretty man over here, let's hit on him or talk about borderline lewd things to him! And Miles' reaction most of the time is to get really embarrassed about it. So like. Imagine when Miles is older and Gregory starts to bring him to the court and to work even more, especially when he starts his law studies, and the amount of people in his office, on the crime scene and on the witness stand keep on hitting on his son. Like excuse me?? Witness??? Why are you, a middle-aged person, hitting on my 18-year-old child in court, right in front of me????? He's this 🤏 close to just crashing out in court himself. Someone once told him that he was lucky to have a son because now he doesn't have to fight people off all the time. Who can he object to.

[spenglersweetheart]

Yk the scene where Peter asks Egon how’s school

That but this time the reader has like flashbacks to the night before of her and Egon hehehe

ooooh i can do this 👀 teehee

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( note : i will keep using this gif whenever i get an epididymis related one 🤭 )

The Night Before

Egon Spengler x Reader

WARNINGS : NSFW STUFF ‼️

( another note [a during the writing process note, if that makes sense] : the reader will still be gender neutral but with female anatomy for this bc i genuinely do not know how to write smut without any of the anatomy so ... )

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YOU'RE ORGANIZING ONE OF RAY'S BOOKSHELVES when you hear the bell to the door ring. It signals that someone has entered the store. You manage to take a quick glance, and when you see that it's only Peter, you go back to what you're doing. Although you are focused on what you're doing, your ears can't help to perk up when you hear him and Egon having a conversation.

"Hi Egon, how's school?" Peter says, "I bet those science chicks really dig that big cranium of yours, huh?"

"I think they're more interested in my epididymis," you hear Egon say.

You overhear that, and suddenly a light blush appears onto your face. You almost feel weak to your knees. You felt the way that you did the night before, and your mind couldn't help but wander to what happened.

Suddenly you could feel his hands all over you all over again. One hand gripped tightly on each thigh, kissing your neck and collarbone. Your whimpers echo through the empty bedroom of the Firehouse. You remember the smug grin on his face as he sees you squirm into place on his bed.

" Shhh ... " You hear Egon in the midst of your own whines and whimpers, "The others are still downstairs. Wouldn't want them to hear, now would you?"

You slightly shook your head. The others hadn't known about you and Egon's little relationship. It was a secret, only until you two were ready to tell. But the risk of getting caught had been so much fun.

"E-Egon. . . Fuck──" You manage to moan out, being as quiet as you can. It was just so hard not to be. He does it so well.

You can already feel your walls clench. You were holding onto him like you were a koala, hands slightly gripped onto his back as he kept up with his movements, hitting your spot each time.

" That's it, sweetheart, cum for me," he whispers into your ear.

You couldn't even hear anything. You weren't even paying attention. When Ray tapped you on your shoulder, you yelped, dropping the books that you had in your hands from the moment you froze.

"Y / N? You had been standing there for a minute are you okay?"

Your face was beet red. This was so embarrassing. You quickly pick up the books after giving a nod. "Yep! Yeah! Totally, I am A-Okay!"

"Your face is red, are you catching a fever?"

"Ray, I'm alright," you answer, "I promise. It's just ... Really hot in here."

Ray gives a nod. "Well, you can take a breather. It's about time you took a break from organizing those books," he says.

You immediately nod, walking past Ray, Peter, and then as you go to pass Egon, you stop. Your eyes glance up at him. He's giving you that same smug smirk that he gave you last night. Your face turns red again, and you grumble, going outside into the slightly crisp air.

Not too long after Egon steps outside. You look at him, crossing your arms. "Don't you start."

"I only came to check on you," he said, "Seeing how you're feeling. To see what you're ... thinking about."

He then walks up closer to you. You try to hide what you're thinking about, but it's Egon Spengler. He could read you from a mile away.

"Thinking about my epididymis, are you?"

You face him, playfully pushing him as your face turns red once again. "Oh, shut up," You mumble in embarrassment.

─────────────── ✦ ──────────────

── ♡ ( AUTHOR'S NOTE! ) :

i need to work on my nsfw writing skills this is getting embarrassing.

[symptoms-syndrome]

Copy pasting from somewhere else. Venting about shit. IDK how to TW. Brief mention of suicide and assault.

I feel rly angry (at myself? I think?) lately about stupid shit. The thing that's most frustrating lately is like. Honestly jealousy. I want to live a life like other people where you're not hyperanalyzing everything you're doing all the time. I want to like. Be able to be stupid or embarrassing or childish or naive or rude without feeling like I'm literally going to die if I do. It's like. Impossible for me to act that way. And then it makes me angry(?) Jealous when other people can be like. IDK. Any of those things. I want it so fucking baddddd but if I am not. Good and perfect and capable all the time I wanna throw myself off a cliff and simultaneously feel like everyone in a five mile radius is going to come for me or something. Which I knowwwww is a trauma response, because if I was rude it was harshly punished and everything. But I want to be. A little rude. Or at least not as intensely polite as I am. I want to feel okay interrupting people or talking over people or whatever. But I'm a prim little polite lady or whatever and if I deviate from that I feel like I'm gonna KMS

ESPECIALLY the capable bit. I think almost all the other things feed into the capability thing. I need everyone to know that I have full control over myself and my surroundings all the time or they will see me as weak and take advantage of me or whatever.

Which like logically is probably not true but I can't convince myself it isn't. I've been raised in a way that firmly cemented the belief in me that it's a dog eat dog world and I cannot ever be weak or I will be crushed by those who are more capable and powerful. No one ever does anything for anyone else without a personal motive of their own gain. Again I know these aren't true I just can't convince myself they aren't.

It's all Daddy Issues if you get down to it bc he's the one who taught me a lot of this stuff with various levels of explicitness. Like he did explicitly tell me to not make friends unless they can be useful for something and I can use them to raise myself up or whatever. And he said that that's how everyone else (or at least everyone who isn't an idiot) is operating too. Plus telling me shit like how my every mistake was a personal failing. I couldn't kill myself because I didn't have the guts, for example, or how I got assaulted because I showed them that I was weak and that they could. Like, if I put up the right image they wouldn't have. I remember I told him about the first assault that I remembered at one point in a moment of stupid vulnerability and he sort of responded with "well, what did you expect? These things happen when you date." I never really considered a lot of the things he's said to me but I think they burrowed into my brain so deeply that I just never registered them as anything other than just truths about the world.

All this to say. I need to be seen as the most capable bitch in the room otherwise someone who's more capable than me will take advantage of my weakness.

[withloveajaxx]

kiss me through the phone

𓂅 genre: modern au! diluc x gn! reader fluff

𓂅 warnings: description of diluc's attractive body???

𓂅 summary: this is how your usual mornings go with diluc unable to physically be by your side (or its just you watching him change for work in the morning)

𓂅 note: i remember this one time a very good friend of mine and i were screaming over having an ldr vc with diluc while he changes and does his shit. so i just transformed these thoughts into an actual fic LMAOOO. not the best fic bc it's self indulgent asf BUT OH WELL <33 HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY <33

sometimes, the hardest thing about having a long distance relationship with diluc is not the thousands of miles that kept you apart. it wasn't the god awful time difference between the places you both lived in either. sometimes, the hardest part was trying to listen to him tell you about his previous day whilst you watched him get ready for his work in the morning. 

of course you want to listen to your boyfriend tell you about his day. you'd never want to miss a single detail from his small yet cute little rambles or stories. however, it was proving to be very difficult to focus on barely anything as diluc's toned back faces you and projects onto your screen.

at the time you called, he had just started getting dressed for his routine work day. finding it rather challenging to change while holding the phone in his hand, diluc decided to place his phone upright, against one of the many books laid out across his desk nearby. coincidentally, this gave you what you could only call the perfect view of him. 

(more utc!)

the bright rays of the sun were beginning to slip through the curtains of diluc's room, generously highlighting the built muscles of the latter's upper half as he continued chatting about what happened yesterday. you could only hum absentmindedly to whatever he was saying as he started tying his crimson locks into a high ponytail. 

at the point when diluc slips into a crisp white button up, you couldn't even catch a word he was saying. you admire the way your significant other looks absolutely stunning as he turns to a mirror to button up the piece of clothing accordingly, giving you mere moments to peek at his firm abdomen before tucking the remnants of the shirt into his buckled pants. 

"are you still there, my love?" diluc asks, a hint of worry in his soothing voice as he turns to the camera to check up on you, effectively snapping you out of your trance. 

your cheeks turn red at the horrifying realization that diluc's just caught you staring at him with the biggest heart eyes. you hope the light from your phone isn't bright enough to reveal the blush on your cheeks as you chuckle in embarrassment. 

"yeah, yeah. sorry about that, i spaced out a little," you admit sheepishly. thankfully, diluc made no further comment. you wanted anything else but to explain how you were shamelessly staring and awing at his figure. 

you swear you tried your hardest this time to listen to diluc, even commenting and joking about some of the things he was saying. but alas, both your eyes and mind were distracted yet again at the sight of diluc leaning closely into his mirror, tying a necktie around the collar of his shirt. 

he's still saying something as he tilts his jaw to examine himself further, but again, his words go through one ear and immediately out the other. he's making sure he looked the best he could for his work and all you can focus on is the sharp line of his jaw, the slight hollowness of his cheek bones, and all the little things that seemingly make you fall all over for him again. 

"(y/n)? are you sure you're okay, love? you seem to be spacing out a lot." diluc's caught you staring yet again, and yet he's oblivious. concern weighs heavy in his tone, clearly worried about you. "did something unfortunate happen today?" 

"nothing's wrong diluc, don't worry," you smile. his sweet nature causes your heart to thunder loudly against your chest in fondness. however, you still haven't answered him. so, you fumble with your phone, attempting to explain yourself in a less humiliating way. "it's just that… i can't help but admire how handsome you look sometimes." 

now it's diluc's turn to blush. his cheeks quickly turn into a deep shade of crimson, almost similar to the color of his hair. he clears his throat and picks his phone up from its makeshift stand, eyes avoiding the camera as to shy himself away from your gaze. 

despite still being embarrassed about your actions and your explanation, you chuckle in entertainment. your significant other still looked charming, even with a deep blush painting his cheeks red. 

"well, i'm glad you find me... handsome." you don't miss the small smile that creeps onto his lips before he finally turn to look at you through the screen. his features soften when you yawn and look back at him with slightly teary eyes that scream nothing but adoration and love. "but you need your sleep and i still have to drive myself to work, so we should hang up." 

"mhm, alright. talk to you later. love you, luc," you hum, rubbing your eyes with your free hand before waving at the camera. diluc takes his own time, a few precious seconds to stare at you with a lovesick look in his eyes and a gentle smile on his lips as he raises his hand to politely wave back at you.  

"mhm, i'll call you later and i love you too, darling." with that, you kiss him through the phone. you cheesily peck the front camera and smile at the sight of him chuckling in amusement before ending the call and drifting off to a content and dreamless sleep.

taglist (send an ask to be added or removed): @dawndelion-winery @tiredsleep @codename-hiraeth @mari-san-cant @mininji @artificial-heartache

© withloveajaxx 2022. please do not copy, plagarize, or translate in any way.

[early20sfailingplenty]

May I request a blurb for Bo? Maybe with the prompt, “I’m thinking about keeping you.”

hhhhh 🥺😍 I went dark!soft Bo for this bc that's my favourite type of greasy mechanic.

WARNINGS - canon typical darkness & violence, Bo does The Chair Ritual (implied pre-blurb), reader is physically & psychologically tortured by Bo (happens pre-blurb & comes to a close within the blurb), swearing (Bo & within narrative), intimidating Bo, possessive language (from Bo).

GENDER NEUTRAL, NO CODED LANGUAGE, "YOU" AND Y/N USED.

Word count: 1, 194.

The pieces had fallen into place slowly. First, you had been nice to Lester, who had rung Bo up as he had driven off the old washed out road and asked him to be nice to you by way of giving you at least a quick and clean death, because you had been so lovely to talk to for the entire fifteen mile drive and Lester didn't want you to suffer for too long. Your friends could be killed however because they had been rude and standoffish, but you, oh... Lester made sure to give Bo a physical description of you so that you could be picked out easily. For your kindness to his littlest brother alone, for usually did Lester phone up the eldest Sinclair in a rage or in tears after dropping 'tourists' off, Bo decided he would give you a chance even before you pulled into town.

Then, you had complimented Vincent's art and made the man blush so hard under his mask that he half expected it to begin to soften in the places where his embarrassment burned the hottest, hidden was he in the shadows of the House of Wax, his only companions being his sculptures other than his elder twin and his sweet girl Jonesy. Your words had made it difficult for Vincent to take the multitude of opportunities to kill you, and in the end your first words to Bo back at the gas station had been your name, followed by a genuine compliment about how beautiful Ambrose was. Your friends hadn't been impressed and so you had insisted to them, even when you had thought Bo wasn't around, that you did enjoy the town and you wanted to come back some day.

Those words were going to bite you on the ass sooner than you knew.

While waiting up at the house for Bo to grab what you needed for your car, small comments and quiet hushed whispers had been heard by the twins while they had been stalking you, hunting you and tracking your every move, but your sincerity during every interaction had been what broke the camel's back for Bo. He had literally swept you off your feet before you knew what was happening, and he had taken you down to the basement underneath the garage. You hadn't made it easy for him to maintain his grip on you; you kicked, struggled and fought as hard as you could, but Bo was the true definition of the word 'ruthless' and none of your struggles seemed to touch him at all.

Unbeknownst by you, you weren't going to die in Ambrose. You had been kind right from the start and separating you from the people you had come into town with had been ridiculously simple, which had allowed Bo to make his sudden move with no build up or forewarning. Despite he and his twin's choice, though, it wasn't going to be easy to become a permanent resident of the ghost town.

You had yet to prove that your kindness and compliments were more than just something you were saying for its own sake. Pretty words were one thing, but pretty words which remained true after the novelty of a new place had worn off were quite another. In but a moment could your stability be ripped away from you and everyone knew it, including you.

You remained in the chair for about a week, though it felt like forever to you. Every second felt like an hour strapped to that chair and your body ached all the time from being sat up for so long. Bo sometimes lowered the chair down so that you were staring at the dirty ceiling instead of the wall full of polaroid's of other victims if he felt like torturing you from a different angle but for the most part, you had been slightly reclined in a mostly upright position.

On the eighth day, when you were sore and achy, psychologically at the end of your tether and physically unable to bear much more, disorientated and unknowing of even the time of day, Bo decided to take pity on you. You had held up well and you had fought your own for longer than most people who ended up in The Chair did and he figured it was about time to get you out and see if your kind words remained after what he had done to you. He doubted it highly but a part of him always hoped that one day he would find someone who wanted to stay.

The door creaked open and closed shut quietly and you heard the familiar scuff of worn boots on a concrete floor through the haze of your threshold consciousness. If Bo wasn't in the basement, then nine times out of ten you lost your grip on your body out of exhaustion. You moaned and there came a light laugh from beside you as a calloused hand brushed your shoulder.

"All righ', darlin'." The tone of voice was softer in an attempt to soothe, but there was still a metallic edge to every syllable which dripped off his tongue.

You opened your eyes as best as you could and winced at the harsh and bright overhead lights, which cast thick black shadows across the walls with every move Bo made. He put one hand on the arm of The Chair furthest from where he was and the other hand on the opposite arm so that he caged you in from all angles, and got right in your face. His wolfish grin made your stomach drop, even with your emotional fatigue.

"Y'know, Y/N," Bo's smirk took on a darker dynamic despite the oddly tender look in his eyes, "I'm thinking about keeping you."

"Wh-what do you - "

Bo leaned in and ran the cool tip of his nose along your forehead, "Would'ya like that, darlin'? Y'spoke such pretty words when y'got here - "

Realisation.

Your survival was dependent on all those genuine compliments? It seemed so ludicrous that you almost wanted to laugh. Almost. But you didn't. Instead, you hurriedly nodded, and did your best to meet Bo's icy blues with your own. You could tell that he wasn't wholly comfortable with that, but he allowed it for a few seconds before his gaze settled on the bridge of your nose.

Neither of you knew were to go from here, but getting you out of your restraints seemed like a good start. Bo seemed to have a similar train of thought, too, for he said, "M'sorry, this is, uh - this is gonna hurt. Even if m'gentle." He shrugged and got to work. Something in his tone told you that what he said was not an empty platitude but it came from personal experience. As the mystery deepened, as the trauma settled into your bones, as Bo bent over one of your wrists to help you out, you wondered what it would take to get you out of Ambrose.

Unbeknownst to you, only your death could do that. But Bo would follow you there, even still. He let go not that which was his.

[leviiattacks]

Hi, you're a very talented writer and your works are very beautiful. Can I request one where Levi's fem s/o does the ignore your boyfriend prank? Thank you so much and take care of yourself ❤️

author note :: thank youuu i’m glad you think that anon !! this isn’t good at all bc i’m just very sick and yeah,,, i’m sorry if this doesn’t live up to your expectations but i needed something to do and ended up finishing this. hmmm what is this is it fluff?? idk it’s captain levi and survey corps member reader though :-) requests are open so feel free to drop by if you’d like :D word count :: 3.4k 

you should NOT be bothering levi as much as you are because he understands you need your own space to relax sometimes

but come on... you’ve been ignoring him for an unreasonable amount of time now??

and he’s not talking about groggy ignoring, it’s not the type you do when you’ve just awoken from a restless night’s sleep

no. you’re talking to everyone apart from him.

and it’s driving him up a literal wall

did he do something wrong???

has he made a mistake so large that you’re too scared to bring it up???

are you finally sick of him??

will you break up with him?

levi winces when thinking of that specific question

but he’s the type to silently keep his worries to himself as soon as he sees any indication of a bad omen

currently, he’s mentally preparing himself for you to break the news to him any day now

but little does he know you’ve just pulled a prank hoping for him to whine and complain a little

the point of this all is to elicit an out of character reaction

;-)

the idea came from historia at first

her playing such a foul trick on ymir didn’t go unnoticed and little by little ymir’s resolve crumbled away throughout the day

she went quite literally ballistic trying to get historia’s attention

and watching it all play out made you want to try it out with levi

you’d be a FOOL not to

WELL!!!! the fun part about this is that you’re a bit actually, no. a lot, more stubborn than historia!!!

and instead of committing to the prank for a day you’ve chosen to see how far you can stretch this out

if you have to drag it out for two days so be it

you have good reason to

levi isn’t the most affectionate man, your relationship is kept a total secret from all of the cadets

meaning pda never happens

and,,, listen you would love to kiss him before expeditions without having to drag him behind your horse for cover

to be frank the back of a horse does smell rather unpleasant and it’s not as romantic as you’d like for it to be

honestly you’d rather have everyone stare and gawk in awe watching the two of you make out

seeing them put two and two together realizing what it is that’s going on between you and the captain would be hilarious

especially since reiner said last week he could never picture levi dating anyone

AND!! he even had the audacity to say he thinks someone like him would never date someone on the team

is it really not that obvious to them?

do you and levi lack chemistry?

silently fuming you walk away and even then none of the cadets get the hint

but you do think mikasa has known for a while. her senses are sharp and whenever she sees you and levi together she makes a u-turn heading in the opposite direction away from the both of you

but even if she does she isn’t going to tell anyone about it unless she’s directly asked so it’s not like the cat will be out of the bag any time soon

it’s silly getting worked up over reiner’s comments but it’s kinda disheartening having the relationship be kept a secret

and you thought even if it was there would be at least a hint of a rumour, like it should be decently obvious it’s been months since the two of you began to see each other

ESSENTIALLY, this is your plan to “accidentally” let the cadets figure it out

eventually levi will have to get restless enough to do something bold

that’s what you think will happen

but then the reality of the situation hits you at the end of the first day

he seems to be dealing with it just fine ?????

after giving him the cold shoulder he shows no signs of returning at all

...

WHY IS IT NOT WORKING???

mayday mayday mayday....?!??

red alert....?!??

you are about to bang your head against a wall he’s the one who’s meant to be suffering over this not you

but again, you’re stubborn and won’t give in easily

by the end of day one levi has approached you two times

two...

each time you’ve given him completely blunt responses

it’s frustrating you that he’s just dealing with it as it comes

and when he does speak to you it’s not to ask what’s wrong

the first time he approaches you is to ask if you’ve seen petra around which makes your blood boil a little because everyone knows petra has a big, fat, MASSIVE crush on him

you know he won’t ever reciprocate or anything for a number of reasons but you can’t help but feel annoyed

the second time he speaks to you is to ask if you’re willing to help hange out with some paperwork

??????

he doesn’t even look interested in asking you what’s wrong

honestly you would drop this plan but you’re in too deep now

may as well keep it up.

the second day rolls around and it’s not your best day

you burn breakfast

trip over a broom and hit your leg rather hard against the dining table

spill an ENTIRE cup of tea over hange’s important documents

and you haven’t slept a wink after overthinking your relationship status for hours on end

maybe this prank wasn’t a great idea

you’re hunched over the documents close to tears not knowing how you can save them now

there’s nothing you can do and even though you know hange will be okay with it, (they’ve never cared much for paperwork) you just don’t want to inconvenience them with this mess

“y/n?”

looking up you see eren standing by the doorway of the kitchen watching with a humored expression as you place paper towels over the disaster you’ve created

“captain’s looking for you.”

perking up a little internally you make sure to remain as disinterested as possible on the surface

“what does he need?”

“i don’t know he didn’t say.”

“tell him i’m busy.”

and that’s all that occurs during day two

you pass by levi and occasionally his gaze flicks to you but he doesn’t take any action to address you in public or in private

you end up going to bed even more disappointed than you were the first night

the prank definitely isn’t going the way you want and instead of it leading to levi cornering you in front of everyone and dipping you into a dreamy swoon worthy kiss it’s led to you developing doubts.

many doubts.

but you aren’t giving up any time soon, now more than ever you want to be reassured levi even wants this relationship because he’s not acting like it

it’s admittedly a bitch move on your part for pulling this prank in the first place but you expected him to ask how you were doing it has been forty-eight hours after all

if the roles were reversed you’d force him into a room until he would tell you

so you can’t explain his weird behaviour at all

maybe he doesn’t like you as much as you think

that thought makes your eyes sting at the corners

he’s always been reserved and a little lost when it comes to opening up but you’re beginning to lose hope if he finds it this hard to ask if you’re okay

drifting off to sleep before you can wallow in your thoughts any more you wish tomorrow is better

it’s the third day and to say you’re exhausted is an understatement

midday and you’re training in the sweltering heat

the lack of sleep you’ve had recently paired with your stress isn’t doing you any good

a little dizzy you attempt to hold onto a nearby tree for stability but end up somehow missing the mark by a MILE??

tumbling to the floor painfully you hiss at the collision and rub the back of your head which is now sore

footsteps approach you in a hurry and for the first time in days you’re face to face with levi

“you okay?” concern is very much evident in his voice and that eases your nerves

without you even responding he’s turning you around just to check in case

nodding wordlessly you try to get to your feet when you feel a shift.

your ankle without warning gives out on you and you’re sent crashing back down to the ground

closing your eyes and bracing for impact you’re pleasantly surprised when levi catches you by the waist

your weight is leaning onto him and you’re looking down to the floor

hange is yelling from across the courtyard telling levi to drop you off at the infirmary but he doesn’t need to be told that

his instincts do the talking for him and he’s already slung you over his shoulder and begins carrying you towards the base

“levi. put. me. down. this position’s embarrassing.”

he doesn’t respond and you can hear sasha and connie cackling at the compromising situation

swatting his back you’re huffing and puffing yet he’s still ignoring you

you’re being given the silent treatment but you suppose you do deserve it

sighing you deal with the stares you receive on the way there

this is levi and at this point nothing is seen as abnormal when he does it

you can’t really look behind you to see levi’s expression either but when a cadet walks past and mouths “y/n, what the hell did you do??” you know you’re in for it

eventually he reaches the infirmary and without even letting you get a word in he plops you onto the bed albeit a little rough

“what’s with the cold shoulder?” he places both his arms by your sides leaving you trapped

“i-”

“if you want to break up you can just say that instead of beating around the bush.”

you’re stunned by the harsh tone of his voice, he doesn’t have his usual soft timbre and your eyes glaze over in defense

“you want to break up?” your question hangs in the air

chewing at your lip anxiously you know if you bite any harder you’ll draw blood

“i don’t care. if that’s what you want, sure.”

oh.

oh no.

this isn’t going how you planned

nails digging into the flesh of your palms you hang your head low

he doesn’t care at all

if that’s what you want????? really???? that’s his response??? he won’t even fight for you???

it’s silent as he bandages your ankle and you’re burning in a mix of embarrassment and fury.

“i was just pull-” choking up in the middle of your sentence you feel yourself automatically frown

“i was just pulling a prank on you. you know how historia did with ym-“

really you’ve always been terrible at holding back your tears and a few spill over the edge and you sob

why are you like this why why why why why?????

yeah,, you get why everyone calls you overly emotional from time to time but really you swear you feel your heart shatter a little at how levi’s acting

shielding your eyes with your sleeve you cower away from him

lord have mercy.

levi wants to curl up into a ball and die from the wave of embarrassment that hits him

a prank.

a trick.

and he didn’t catch on.

and now you’re crying.

because he thought acting tough and cold in case you wanted to break up with him made perfectly logical sense???

spoiler : it didn’t make any sense...

but now it’s made him look like he hates you??

but he doesn’t hate you

no, no, no. not at all.

he could never hate you.

you’re always willing to help anyone out, you’re genuine, always say sorry even when you don’t need to, unapologetically yourself at any moment, you’re fearful yet push it all aside to be courageous and most of all he loves your little hobbies because who in their right mind actually enjoys gardening??

he’s convinced people who say they like gardening are looking for something unique to make themselves stand out but really you enjoy it and it’s quite cute

ok, ok no more getting side tracked whilst talking about your love for plants

he could name so much more he admires about you but he’d be here all day

“i tried to talk to you yesterday but after you refused i thought you hated me and wanted to break up. that’s why i was acting like that just now.” he slowly tries to explain his point to you

“i know i’m hard to love so when you began to ignore me out of the blue i figured you didn’t want to-”

cutting him off without giving him the option of finishing his sentence you’re wide eyed in horror. he was NOT meant to interpret the prank this way.

“levi?? for as long as i’m alive i’ll never get tired of you. i promise.” his heart rate shoots and the intense magnetism between the two of you becomes stronger by the second

you pause for a second gathering yourself.

“and i’m sorry i should’ve thought about how you’d feel. the reason i did it was stupid.”

levi kneels by the bed and takes your hand in his, he graciously lifts the sleeve of your uniform and ducks down to press a soft kiss onto your wrist.

your heart flutters seeing him be so careful and gentle with you and bashfully you look away

guilt overwhelms you at that moment because you really are horrible for putting him through all of that.

levi cares for you he does

he may be silent about it and not the best at being public with it but you know how he feels.

you feel it in the way he looks at you

you feel it when he helps you mount your horse

you feel it when he double checks your harnesses before expeditions

you feel it when he tends to your injuries

and, you definitely feel it right now when it sinks in that he was acting like he hated you just so you wouldn’t feel bad if you really did want to break up with him.

he’s always been bad at picking up on hints and cues so you now understand why he interpreted it as you wanting nothing to do with him

of course he wouldn’t ask how you were if it looked like you wanted to skin him alive

“what was the reason for the prank?” he inquisitively asks genuinely wanting to know what it is he can do for you

“i...” you’re wandering off and suddenly don’t want to tell him

“i wanted you to kiss me.” you whisper in a rush

he cocks an eyebrow up even more lost. “i kiss you all the time?”

“i mean, in front of everyone else.”

he blinks and his mouth forms into an “O” shape

it’s a little awkward now

he doesn’t bring it up again so you assume he doesn’t like the idea of letting everyone know just yet

and that’s okay!! you respect that!!

after all, you can’t get mad at him for it, it’s the best choice.

you don’t want people to accuse him of having bias towards you and it’ll probably upset petra and hinder her performance if her crush just suddenly starts dating out of nowhere

your gaze is back on levi and he’s now double checking the bandage on your ankle after tending to it

“you can’t walk for a few weeks.” he tsks

“be careful next time.” he’s always been blunt when he does show he cares and you warmly smile after not talking to him in days.

you feel the need to apologize again

“to make it clear i really am sorry, i should have thought more about you.”

he scoffs and rolls his eyes

“i’m overjoyed that my beautiful girlfriend doesn’t want to break up with me. now, stop moping around about it i’m over it.”

he scoops you up effortlessly and you wrap your arms around his neck.

“y/n, for the record, i’ll work on not jumping to the worst case scenario first.”

you love this aspect of your relationship

being able to understand how your flaws impact the other and choosing to make changes or adjustments

it’s sweet and you must be smiling like an idiot when thinking of it because levi blows a puff of air onto your forehead knocking you out of your daydream

feeling a little less light headed than before you notice he’s walking back out towards the courtyard

why is he doing that...?

“you’re walking in the wrong direction?”

“no i’m not.” he replies with a smug grin

oh my god

no he isn’t

oh my god

is he???

you’re bright pink in the face as you turn to look at him panicking when you hear hange’s group returning

eren can be heard arguing with jean as per usual and now you’re smacking levi’s chest even harder

“you don’t have to do this no, no, no. it’s okay really.” it’s funny how you’re begging him not to do what you’ve been waiting on for three days

but you really don’t want him to feel like he has to do this

as if he’s read your mind he replies. “i’m doing this with my own free will.”

he gives you one last grin and pushes you up against the wall, your back is against the cold yet solid surface and you tense up

oh god. it’s happening he’s diving down and it’s as if everything is moving in slow motion.

gradually you feel the familiar feeling of your heart jumping out of your chest

both of your lips mould together, he’s hoisting you up again preventing you from slipping away. hungry hands grip at your thighs and a knowing smile twitches across his mouth.

nipping at his bottom lip he groans and you nearly forget why it is he’s kissing you

that is until you hear a SCREAM from your right

“eren what the fuck are you yelling at?” jean’s voice can be heard scowling in the distance but you’re too distracted by levi’s mouth to care

eren must be speechless because nothing is heard until jean reaches the scene

“OH. MY. GOD.”

“WHERE IS REINER??? HE’S NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.”

“you’re both overreacting.” mikasa makes her appearance and you’re not sure if she’s seen you and levi yet because your eyes fluttered shut long ago

“Y/N AND THE CAPTAIN????? WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE MIKASA??” eren’s voice sounds so distressed you guess you’re right for assuming he may have had a crush on you at some point

“it was obvious, i don’t know how no one else knew.”

finally levi pulls away and you’re panting practically gasping for any traces of air

“what you looking at brats?” levi snaps in their direction and mikasa nonchalantly shrugs and walks away

jean and eren however, dash away at LIGHTENING speed probably on their way to let everyone else know of the shocking new development

levi pecks your forehead and you nudge your nose against his.

since that day you and levi have been able to get away with a lot more pda

you can hold his hand and stare at how pretty your hands look laced together

you can nuzzle your face into his neck without any questions 

you can loop arms with him and even if he acts like he doesn’t enjoy it he genuinely does like walking around with you latching onto his bicep

although he still prefers the privacy of his office he’s more than happy to give in once in a while

and at the end of the day you’re ecstatic because there’s no more kissing behind your horse!!!

GONE ARE THOSE DAYS

wooHOO

honestly, you’re over the moon about it 

and so is levi

:-)

[littlest-dark-age]

Innocence lost

!!!Contains nsfw content!!! Please do not read if you do not wish to consume nsfw content!!!

Taglist @randomoutsiders @plzineedhelp ft @quindolyn bc she asked

You walk into the great hall, just wanting to sit and rest for a moment after the long day of classes and mishaps that went along with said classes. Quickly spotting James, Sirius, Remus and Peter all in a rather heated discussion, while shovelling food on to their plates and into their mouths between word and breath.

Furrowing your brow as you wonder what could be the possible cause of the borderline argument. Did Sirius pull another prank gone rogue? After all that was often the cause of some of the more heated conversations the group had.

As you grow closer and closer to said group, you notice they're talking in hushed whispers. As well as the fact that Remus has a deep blush and Sirius has that grin that he always gets when he's talking about more…..vulgar topics, Peter looking away from the three and focusing on the stone floor. Unable to see James until you're about to sit, his cheeks redder than cherries and glasses a bit steamy. All of them jump slightly when you sit down and start to put food on your own plate, conversation dying out while you eye them suspiciously.

"Talking about me or something? I'd hope not with the way you lot are blushing.” Sirius rolls his eyes before flashing you a smirk, taking a sip from his cup.

"I'd let you make me blush anyday, darling. But m'not quite the one who's the worst, now am I?"

His eyes drift to the right of you, where James sits and has his hands in his lap. Twitching as he fiddled with the rings littering them. He huffs at Sirius's words, blush still bright as ever.

"Right, and what were you all talking about that has you so?" Eyebrow raised as your hand stops mid reach for the piece of bread in front of you.

"N-nothing, nothing at all…." Peter murmurs from across the table, still turned away from everybody.

"Aw, s'not nothin now is it, wormtail? We're talking about sex darling. The feeling of another's skin against your own, the way you both get so sweaty and get a rush unmatched. How it feels to hold someone so close and make such a mess out of them while they're thanking you for it and asking for more, more and more." Sirius closes his eyes with a devilish grin, knowing that he's properly flustered you as well now.

You blink slowly as you start to comprehend the conversation they might have been happening before you say down, not even a noise of acknowledgment leaving you. But before you can get a word in, Sirius cuts in again.

"And I made a marvelous discovery, shocking really-" before he can finish his sentence, James slams his hand on the table while pushing himself up. Grumbling while he gets up and storms off, out of the great hall and to their dorms you can only assume. You huff while turning to watch him, knowing what a temper James has and wondering what in the world could have Sirius done to set it off now.

"Sirius Orion Black, what have you done to the poor boy?" You stare at him, where he sits across the table. Shocked by James's actions.

"More like what hasn't happened to him…" mumbled before he realized it. All you need to know to piece everything together, anger rising in you at the thought of them picking at him for such a simple thing.

Quickly taking a few bites of your own food, you get up just as James did moments ago. Making your way to the Gryffindor common room, you wonder how angry he had to be to make it there in so little time.

As you creep up the stairs, you only hope he'll talk to you. James is easily one of the most stubborn people you can think of and despises being embarrassed in such a way. Slowly stopping in front of the dorm door, you hesitantly raise your hand to gently knock on the thick door.

"James? It's just me, I wanted to check on you," you call out, trying to not disturb anybody else in case there were others in their own dorms.

The bed creaks from behind the door, followed by shuffling footsteps and finally the lock being undone. There's a moment of stillness, neither you nor James making a move to open the door. A soft sigh leaves you as you reach for the handle to let yourself in, peeking into the room before fully entering it.

James sitting on the chest at the end of his bed, eyes focused onto the floor. Never looking up to meet your own. You can feel your heart constrict at the sight, one that's rather rare as much doesn't put James potter in such a mood as apparently the conversation had. Silently shuffling into the room, you shut the door behind you with a soft click before going to sit on the end of the bed.

Seconds pass with no movement, or words. Until James lifts his head and turns to you, face a bit less red then it had been at the table. Feeling his eyes roam your face, searching for something but you can't tell what it is.

"S'not m fault. Kept pushing until jus' came out. Then pads wouldn' stop."

Brows furrowing in confusion at his words, you turn to face him.

"I'm sure it can't be that bad, Siri always makes things seem much more dire then they are. What could be so bad that they've got you this upset?"

"'ve never had sex…..not like there weren't opportunities, jus' never with the right person…"

You wonder if James can hear how fast your heart is racing, hear all the thoughts that are running through your head. 'who does he mean?....me maybe?'

"....and who is the right person?" Your voice wavers and shakes with every word that leaves your mouth.

James opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water for a moment before shutting it completely.

"I-um, well…..you…." comes out as a soft whisper.

A breath leaves you in shock, and happiness. Thoughts speeding up to a mile a minute, going in every direction possible. Only stopping at the sound of James getting up and standing in front of you, his hands reaching out to gently cup your jaw and lifting it to look up at him. Gently stroking your cheek before leaning down and pressing his warm lips against yours. Softly moving his lips to match your own, wanting nothing more than to feel you completely.

He pulls away with a soft grin, cupping both of your cheeks in his warm hands. You can't help but look up at him with half lidded eyes, the simple kiss enough to spark a need in-between your legs as you place your own hands over his.

"How about I….help...they'd have nothing laugh about then….?"

He bites his lip in thought, before slowly nodding. James leans down once more, one of his hands sliding down to hold the back of your neck. Pressing his lips to yours once more, but with more force and more passion than the last. Moulding themselves to fit perfectly against yours. Only pulling away for a moment of air before diving back in, tugging you closer. You pull away fully after a moment, resting your forehead against his with a soft smile.

"Gonna let me taste you before we have some more fun?" In a teasing lilt, as you grin softly.

James's eyes burst open, searching your face for a hint of a lie that you were joking or messing with him. But finding only a look of want in your eyes and a bit of nervousness etched into your features. He slowly starts to nod while licking his lips, unable to really believe what was going on. That you actually wanted him in the way he's been wanting you for so so long. The thought of if this could have happened sooner crosses his mind but he doesn't pay it any attention, enjoying the fact that it's happening now.

You tug him by his tie down to you, finally pulling him onto you and forcing you to lay back. James catches himself and props up using his elbow, looking down at you with a soft smile. Your free hand finding its way to his soft hair and gripping at the base of his hairline while you lean up to press kisses into his jaw, slowly starting to trail them onto his neck. Barely grazing his skin with your teeth, only enough for him to feel the nip. He lets out a shuddered breath at your teeth on his pulse point, feeling himself harden from the sudden affections.

Letting go of his tie, you run your hands down his chest. His heart drumming against your fingers when you pass over it, continuing to go further down his torso. You can feel the heat radiating off of him even through his clothes. As you slide your hand even further down, finally meeting the edge of his sweater and tug it up. Forcing James to sit back as you pull it off, quickly followed by unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it to the floor.

"Lay down f'me? Wanna make you feel good."

He nods before fixing his glasses, laying down next to you on the bed. His bulge even more apparent now that he's laying on his back. You grin whilst getting off of the bed and standing in-between his spread legs.

Hands rubbing his thighs softly, inching closer and closer to the tent in his pants while you lean down to press kisses on his chest. Slowly making your way down to James's stomach and his happy trail. Stopping once you meet the band of his pants, playfully nipping at the skin around it.

"Bloody tease s'what you are," he shakes his head before running a hand through his already messy curls.

"The best are," you press a kiss into his skin before looking up at him with a sweet smile.

Your hands abandon his thighs in favor of unzipping his pants, starting to tug them off. Grateful that he already took his shoes off once he got into the dorm. James lifts his hips, helping you slide them off of his muscular legs. The outline of his member is enough to make you drool and press your thighs together.

"Look at how hard you are….want me to make it feel better?"

"Yes please, want you so bad m'achin" James nods.

Slowly you start to stroke him over his boxers, eyeing the small wet spot near his head. Not going fast enough or hard enough to give him any real pleasure, just enough to make him even harder and make his tip weep. Thumbing the underside of his cock, feeling the veins even through his boxers. You move down to his tip and lightly suck on it through the fabric, wet spot growing with your spit.

"Fuckin, please, want 'em off," comes out as a breathy whine.

You roll your eyes before pulling away, a string of spit connecting to his boxers. Reaching up to grip the band of them, you snap them against his sensitive skin pulling a yelp from him before tugging them all the way off.

"You're so pretty," comes out before you can stop it, thumb rubbing the deep red tip of his admittedly pretty cock. Thick veins running up the underside of it, slick with his own pre-cum. His tip shining due to the spit and slick.

You lick a stripe up it, following the veins and natural curve. Looking up to see James biting his lip with his eyes screwed shut and chest heaving slightly. Flicking your tongue on the tip before wrapping your lips around it and sucking gently. Slowly taking more and more of his aching member into your mouth, feeling the weight of it on your tongue. You start to hollow your cheeks and slowly bob your head up and down his cock.

"Suck m'cock, take it all in your pretty lil' mouth," he lets out a guttural groan, reaching down to interlock his fingers with your own. Your free hand stroking what you can't take in your mouth, able to feel him throbbing with want and need.

Pulling off of him with a wet pop, you keep pumping him. The soft clicking filling the room as well as James's panting and whines. A thin layer of sweat coating him as he lifts his hips, chasing your hand. Feeling the tension in his belly grow and just wanting it to snap in two, finally being able to cum.

"Please, m'so close," you hear his breathing getting faster, his groans getting louder and whinier. Feeling him twitch in your hand, you pull away with a grin,"No!" James cries out, sitting up with the slightest pout on his lips while panting. His brows furrowed in confusion as to why you stopped right before he came.

"Oh lovie, want you to cum in me. Not in my hand, pretty boy," you crawl to rest on his lap, skirt hiking up on your own. He rests his hands on them, pushing up your skirt even further with every inch he slowly slides his hands up.

"Off, wanna see you," he sounds so needy and desperate, wanting to feel your skin against his own. Tugging at the edge of your skirt before wandering to the buttons on the side, popping them out of place so easily.

You quickly undo your tie, flinging it to an unknown corner to be hunted down later. Slowly you unbutton your shirt, revealing the red lace bra underneath. James's eyes practically bulge out of his head at the sight, letting out a shaky breath and groaning. One hand abandoning your thighs in favor of helping you out of your shirt while he sits up just enough to nip at your bottom lip. You reach back and unclasp the lace lined undergarment, sliding it off.

He starts to pepper kisses down the column of your neck, ghosting over your collarbone and down your chest. Stopping to suck on one of your nipples, circling it with his tongue and looking up at you with wide eyes. His hand drifts to your back, going up to your shoulders and drags his blunt nails down the length of your spine. Sending shivers and another wave of slick to your already flooded panties. Wet enough you're surprised it hasn't leaked onto James's cock.

"Enough, wanna feel you in me now," you tug him off of your chest by a tight grip of his pretty curls, tossing him onto his back and on the bed. Looking into his eyes for a moment, trying to find any hesitation that he didn't want this or you but finding only pure lust.

You lift up your skirt, revealing the red cotton panties and the dark patch your slicks made. Biting your lip as you straddle him on your knees, reaching down to stroke his throbbing member before rubbing his weeping tip along your entrance. Grazing your clit ever so slightly before nudging him between your lips and slowly starting to sink onto him, leaving no gap between your hips.

Sitting still for a moment, adjusting to the stretch and watching James's face at the feeling. His lips hanging open and brows scrunched together at the new but very welcomed feeling.

"S'tight, s'fuckin warm too. Never wanna leave, gonna stay in you f'ever," he groans out, stomach muscles tightening at the thought of having to pull out. He grips your hips, keeping you from moving. Your own hands splay out on his rapidly rising chest, heart thumping against your fingers and only speeding up when you shift.

"Can I move now? Gonna feel even better then, promise," you nod, hoping it'll convince him to loosen his grip even the tiniest bit. James opens his eyes slightly, raking his eyes over your form glistening with sweat. Chest rising with every breath. He licks his lips, wetting them for a moment.

"Y-yes, please," joined with a quick nod.

You start to roll your hips ever so slightly, closing your own eyes at how big you notice James is. The stretch feels so good, nothing like anything you've ever felt before. Gulping down the sounds that try to claw their way out of your throat and mouth, not expecting such subtle motions to pull any sound out of you.

Slowly you start to lift your hips, almost pulling off of his cock all the way before slamming back down and repeating. Speeding up as you dig your nails into James's chest, no doubt to leave marks in the morning. Skin against skin filling the room, as well as the sound of your slick. You begin to bounce on him, needing more. More of James, more of the way his cock is filling you perfectly and ruining you for anybody else. Your walls moulding to him and sucking him in, never wanting to pull away but keep him in your warmth forever.

"So fucking big, feel so good," comes out as a breathless moan, unable to shove your noises down and hide them as you toss your head back. The knot in your stomach tightening, forcing you to clench around his cock. Pulling a stuttered moan from the dark haired boy under you.

Your tits moving in time with your own bounces, jiggling in front of his face. James leans up to capture one of them in his mouth, sucking on it hard enough there will surely be a bruise in the morning. Nibbling on it while you continue to bounce on him. Wanting nothing more than to milk him for everything he's worth, you clench around him again.

Feeling his moan be muffled by your chest and his drool making an even bigger mess than before. You reach down and rub your clit, the knot in your belly tightening until it's about to snap.

"Come on love, wanna make you feel so good and have you cum inside me," your words are enough to send the sensitive boy toppling over the edge, yourself quickly following.

Your moans mixing together just as your slick has. Ropes of warm cum coating your walls, leaking out and down his cock as you slow down until you finally stop. Leaning down as you press your head against his collarbone, heavy pants leaving you.

"O-oh, my god," a breathless chuckle comes from James, paired with a sweet grin and sleepy eyes.

His arms coming to wrap around you, tugging you as close as you can get while pressing a kiss to your sweat slick temple. The room silent but filled with the scent of sex. Both of your chests heaving, as he starts to slowly rub your back.

[bittersweetmorality]

— chuuya boyfriend headcannons (sfw & nsfw)+ drabble

☾ genre: SFW and NSFW Headcannons (NSFW section is marked-- 18+)

☾ pairing: Nakahara Chuuya x GN!reader (reader is given the name ‘mommy’ in the drabble)

☾ warnings: none for the SFW– general smut for the NSFW ??

☾ w/c: 1,978 words

☾ a/n: hey lol :D as a certified chuuya fucker, i just had to.  i literally have like three other chuuya drafts that i’m currently working on.  hopefully they turn out like i want and i can post them bc :| the chuuya tag is starving.  anyway i hope i can populate it just a tad.  thanks for reading bugs !

— SFW 

lemme start off by saying that he will treat yo ass RIGHT.  ON MY MOMMA.

not to bring his trauma into this already but :| my man has major abandonment issues.  he will not do anything to jeopardize your relationship, and he honestly just values your happiness above anything else

you just know how much he cares about the fellow members of the mafia– even though they don’t requite the same amount of love that he gives them, he still loves them wholeheartedly

even dazai

little shit

his love language is definitely touch and gift-giving.  no i don’t accept criticism because i’m right

you’re telling me he wouldn’t absolutely spoil you with expensive gifts ?? mans is a mafia executive– he’s making hella bank, and he is spending it all on you

he’s also definitely a pretty clingy significant other, but good luck trying to get him to admit that :|

his life is… well… yaknow

there’s always a lot going on there..... he’s stresst

he wants nothing more than to just hold you in his arms after a long day-- especially if he just came back from a hard day at work

times like this are when he’s most clingy-- he feels like he almost lost you, and now he never wants to let you go

many, many times he’s fallen asleep like this; you’re basically suffocating in his grip as his eyelids flutter closed, either on the couch or your bed

but of course you’re not going to complain

and he’s so glad you don’t

he’s also the type to almost never explicitly say that he loves you at first, it’s simply not something that comes naturally to him

instead he indulges in his love languages profusely, and he just hopes you get the message

he’s also afraid that you’ll leave him if he says something like that, so for a long time he doesn’t :(

so when you come home to a bottle of expensive wine wrapped in an exquisite red ribbon, you know he just wants to tell you how much he loves you

eventually, of course he’s comfortable with you enough to say it, and it comes completely natural

and since he’s such a romantic, he says it every morning when you wake up, and before you go to bed without fail

he’s definitely the type to show you off too

like, as he’s having a conversation with someone, he’ll suddenly get really loud when talking about you so everyone within a three-mile radius can hear

“well, you see i would go out drinking with you tonight, but i actually have a date.  with my partner.  you know them, right?  here’s a picture i took of them a few days ago, just look a-”

also: biggest hype man

you could open a jar of jam and he’d be like “holy shit, you go babe”

nakahara chuuya kiss me rn challenge

anyway, basically he’ll love and support you no matter what

like truly you’re like a walking ray of sunshine to him

anyway !!!! DATES !!!!!!!

dates with chuuya are planned.  always.

like i SAID he’s a hopeless ROMANTIC MY GOD

he absolutely loves picking you up at your doorstep and taking you for a ride around town on his motorcycle

speaking of which, your arms wrapping around his middle and squeezing him tight as he drives the bike is literally his favorite thing in the world.  oh my god you’re going to make him melt

and i know for a fact your first kiss with him was after he dropped you off at your door when your first date was at its end

it was almost completely perfect honestly, except when your faces were just mere inches from one another, his hat bumped into your forehead and fell to the ground

baby was so embarrassed-- he went bright red and picked up his hat, basically shielding his face

he just wanted the date to be completely perfect– and it was!! until that happened

but obviously you just let out a light giggle and pulled him against you, and he quickly closed the gap between your lips

also, chuuya sleeps in

he sleeps a lot <33

that being said he loves lazy mornings

it’s well past 11, but you’re still laying in his arms– who is he to get up?? and disturb the peace??????

he will not.

also!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can’t even emphasize this enough, but please comb your fingers through his hair

there’s a chance he might melt into a puddle on the spot and never recover but still

on the rare occasion where he’s the little spoon--

(which, speaking of which, @dazai-centric​ has a headcannon that chuuya always insists on being the big spoon no matter what, but on rare occasions he lets himself be wrapped up in your arms and THEY’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.)

anyway, so on this rare occasion

where his head is basically buried in the junction between your shoulder and your neck, and you just rake your fingers through his hair softly

he dead.  dead as hell.

and ERRRRM.  kisses with him are just……… wow…………

naturally, he always wants to be the best at everything-- it’s just his personality

and kisses are no exception

he has to be the BEST

and he is

so, kisses are always so passionate and rough

okay hold on maybe this should go under the NSFW category 😐

ANYWAY!!!! 19472946/10 boyfriend

— NSFW

so rough sex is very common for y’all 😁

he likes to take his frustrations out from the day like this, and honestly you don’t complain

he definitely has a high sex drive so 😁

obviously you have an established safe-word and talk about everything before anything transpires because the LAST thing he wants is to hurt you in any way

but if you ask him to spank you he is definitely not gunna say no <3 chuuya said spanking kink

speaking of kinks

bondage xoxo

this goes both ways— he likes to tie your wrists to the headboard with rope and tie your legs down if you’re okay with it

for him, he likes his wrists cuffed to the bed

but he definitely doesn’t like all of his power stripped away by having him completely tied up

also he loves eye contact

that’s why missionary and mating press are his favorite positions <3

he likes to grab you by the jaw and make you look at him when he’s fucking you

“hey, hey, princess what did we say? if you want to cum, look me in the eyes when i fuck you, yeah?”

he loves praise and degradation equally

but if you’re degrading him don’t go too far :((

degrade slightly him while he’s on the bottom and he’s putty in your hands

now, if you praise him while he’s on top, get ready to not be able to walk for the next 3-5 business days because that’ll feed his ego a LOOOT

and he’ll just get lost in the moment because he loves you....... so much

he degrades you slightly, but only during foreplay

he calls you his little slut, or his whore

“aw, so wet for me and we’re barely getting started, doll.  such a little whore, aren’t you?”

when you actually get into it, it’s all praise from him

he wants you to know how important you are to him, how good you feel and just everything on his mind

he loses his filter in the moment awn god

“so fucking perfect, i only want you.  you’re mine.  god, you feel so fucking good.”

he loves to hear you too-- it really feeds his ego

but sometimes if he’s really had a rough day, he’ll make you gag on his finger or wrap his hand around your neck

he doesn’t squeeze too hard nor genuinely make you gag, he just likes the way your eyes are barely able to meet his because he’s making you feel so good

but ANYWAY pet names are a MUST with him

he calls you doll, sweetheart, princess, baby, dove, doll

basically every sweet name under the sun during sex

he likes you to call him sir 😁

this man has no shame when it comes to noise

like absolutely none

since he’s possessive, he wants people to know he’s fucking you, and how good he feels because of you

no one else can make him feel that way and he wants everyone to know

so he’s LOOOUUUDD,,,, especially in your ear

he likes leaning down and moaning in your ear, just to get a reaction out of you

he makes fun of you for it later on, and you have his full permission to smack that smug little smirk off his face

but the amount of times you had to stop mid-way because y’all got knocks on your door from your neighbours 😐 they’re so sick of y’all

on average, you have sex at least 4 times a week

that’s not including quickies tho

did i mention that chuuya loves quickies <3

especially when it’s in his office and he fucks you on his desk

and because he doesn’t care who hears him-- you bet your ass the entire Port Mafia has heard you

he likes to go down on you for quickies more than actual sex, and he will respectfully never decline a blowjob

because he’s a gentleman

anyway

sorry to any of y’all who have a breeding kink,,, but chuuya definitely does not

he’s so afraid of having kids

moving on

onto sub!chuuya

did somebody say SWITCH 🤨☝️

chuuya did <3

now for a long time he doesn’t really let his submissive side out because,,, it’s a really vulnerable part of him yaknow?

but after a while, and after he’s completely trusted you to take care of him like that

oh boy

bottom bitch <3

still loud as HELL

except it’s less of moaning and more of whining

he’s such a whiner

and a brat

mommy kink mommy kink mommy kink mommy kink mo

also i don’t really know how else to describe it but-- if you force him to look you in the eyes and use a stern tone

..........dead.  dead as hell.

now take this drabble as a tribute to sub!chuuya

“and why should i listen to you?  what are you gunna do?” chuuya furrowed his brows at you, as if he was challenging you.

“aw, baby,” you leaned down from your position of straddling him, caging his head between your arms.  “you still have so much to say even though your hands are handcuffed to the bed.  so bold, aren’t you?” you stroked his lower lip gently, and he whimpered lowly in response.

suddenly, you sat up, getting into a position to prepare to get up off of him completely, “but, you’re right.  what am i going to do?  i guess i’ll just leave you here for the rest of the night.  go-”

“WAIT!! NO- I-” he bit his lip to stop any more words from escaping him.

“’wait’?  is there something you wanna say, baby?” your legs trapped his once again.

“... please.”

he averted your gaze, and you reached down to grip his jaw sternly, moving his head to face you completely.

“please what?”

no answer.

“you know i can’t read your mind, baby.  you’re going to have to use your w-”

“please fuck me.” the words tumbled out of his mouth, almost too quickly to even be audible, still, your lips shifted into a gentle smile.

but you weren’t completely content with him yet.

“and what’s my name?”

“...mommy.”

“and you want mommy to fuck you, is that right?”

“...yes.  please...”

you planted a passionate kiss onto his lips, and upon breaking it, you shifted closer to his ear.

“well, i can’t say no since you asked so nicely, now can i?”

masterlist

[mandoalorian]

hiii could you do a drabble with Din?? I was thinking he doesn’t know you have anxiety yet and you’re having a panic attack and he doesn’t rlly know how to handle them?? I thought #16 would be perfect bc protector Din is like “I will fuck up whatever is making you feel like this” (surprise bucket head, it’s their own brain)

Melting Dew [Din Djarin x GN!Reader]

Prompt no.16 “Who hurt you?” — thank you for the request!

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, panic attack, body dysmorphia, food mention, domestic!Din, Din and reader have pre-established relationship.

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 2000>

Masterlist

Din wasn't meant to be back for at least two more hours. The farmers market was about a three mile walk away from where he'd parked the Razor Crest, and he'd taken Grogu with him this time, who was sure to preoccupy Din whilst you were unable to accompany him. You'd spent the past week beaming at the thought of returning to Naboo, and craving the delicious, juicy taste of their native sourberries. Last night, before you fell asleep in Din's arms, you excitedly told him how you were going to purchase enough sourberries to last the entirety of the upcoming bounty hunting season. Din jokingly rolled his eyes at your comment and pressed a chaste kiss into your forehead, always finding your love for the simpler things in life extremely endearing.

Din Djarin spent the majority of his life a lone warrior. But upon meeting you and rescuing Grogu, it seemed like that all changed— and quickly, too. Now he was providing for the little green bean he called 'son', and you, the most beautiful, interesting and equally important person he'd ever laid his eyes on. Your appearance was soft, delicate, and your features were doe-like. In a galaxy filled with hatred and war, you were the epitome of hope and innocence. How could he not love you? He admired your attitude and excitement for life, and he adored the way you cared for Grogu unconditionally, like he was your own child. You were unlike any other person he'd ever met before. You were as pure as melting dew.

So of course he was protective over you. You, Din and Grogu had scowered the most dangerous depths of the galaxy and you all had your fair share of abuse from Imps, crime syndicates and immoral scoundrels. But there were people out there who tried to hurt you. However, they could never even get close to drawing a knife to your neck. Din was always one step ahead. Messing with you was no game. He hadn't let a single one of them live.

You'd awoken early this morning, quietly slipping out of bed and padding over to your closet in search for an appropriate outfit for the day ahead. You picked out a white tunic and embroided belt, along with some brown boots; but strangely enough, none of it seemed to fit. This was your favourite outfit and you wore it on practically all your days off. You loved the flow of it, and the way it hugged all the curves and accents of your body. But today... something wasn't right. The stitched tunic was tight around your arms and boxy on your shoulders, and as you looked in the full length mirror, your heart sank in your chest. The boots made everything worse. The belt didn't hang on your body correctly. And hell, it wasn't even just the clothes. There was something wrong with your hair today too— and your skin had broken out— and the dark circles that graced your under eyes had become significantly more prominent. You felt completely and utterly disgusting. There was no other word to describe it.

You heard Grogu stir from the quarters and you knew it wouldn't be long until he and Din woke up. You felt so embarrassed. So ashamed. The Mandalorian was an esteemed bounty hunter, best in the Guild, and also your husband— but Kriff, if he seen you like this... he'd shove you off his ship and make the jump to hyperspace within seconds! Panic filled you and the palms of your hands became clammy. He couldn't see you like this. He couldn't.

Just as you anticipated, you heard Grogu's garbles, signifying that the child was now awake and ready for breakfast. Din groaned something incoherent and you glanced over to him as he shuffled amongst the blankets. Your mind was still racing. If he saw you like this, he would for sure leave you. You had to hide. But where?

You bolted to the other side of Din's quarters and into the Refresher, turning on the shower and discarding the clothes that had made you feel so monstrous on the floor. Din heard the screeching noise of the Refresher and thought it was strange you were showering so early. The water was always particularly cold on a morning, and you knew this. Nevertheless, he shrugged it off and headed over to grab some pots and pans. He was preparing bone broth for breakfast.

When you didn't join the duo, Din left a bowl of broth for you in the cockpit of his ship. After he finished washing the dishes, he knocked on the Refresher door. "Cyare, are you alright?" he called, his voice rife with concern.

"Y-yes, I'm okay." you lied through gritted teeth. You were sat on the cold tiled floor, a towel hugging your body as you shivered uncontrollably.

"I was going to leave now... for the farmer's market. The walk is quite far so I wanted to set off early. Are you still coming?" Din asked curiously, his gloved hand nervously tracing the details of the steel door.

"I think I'll skip today, but have fun with Grogu, and stay safe." You tried to sound as optimistic and normal as usual, but behind the closed door, a silent tear slipped down your cheek. There was a brief silence and you had considered maybe Din had already left. But then you heard his modulated voice again.

"Are you sure everything is okay?" He knew how much you'd looked forward to going to the farmers market. It was all you had been talking about for the past week. Sourberries.

"I'm fine!" you forced a smile, even though he couldn't see.

Din wasn't convinced, but he knew better than to push you. If you said you were fine, so be it. He believed you. He had no reason not to trust you when you'd been nothing but honest to him since the very day you met him, all those moons ago.

Once you were sure he was gone, you pulled your pajamas back over your head, and climbed into bed. You felt safe, and free from any judgement. You were all alone. And that meant you could cry. So, you did. You sobbed for what felt like hours. You laid on your side and clutched the thin blanket tight to your chest, almost like you were hugging it for comfort. Your whimpers echoed against the interior of the Crest and this was the only time you had been thankful for Din and Grogu not being around.

Until you heard the entrance to the Crest shoot open, with that all too familiar whizzing noise. Dank Farrik— they were back early. They were back and you weren't even dressed. Your eyes were red and puffy, your hair was sticking up in places. You were, to put simply, a mess. But you felt like you were no less of a mess than what you were when you had worn the white tunic and embroided belt this morning whilst they were still asleep. You sunk under the covers of the bed and tried to hide from them. You prayed to the Maker that perhaps Grogu would help you out and use one of his magical force abilities to make you invisible. Then you'd never have to face the oncoming conversation with Din. The conversation that was inevitable.

"Cyar'ika?" Din asked, putting Grogu down on the floor and approaching you hesitantly. Thankfully, Grogu was more preoccupied with the little silver beskar ball he'd always play with. It came from one of the many levers on the Razor Crest. Din gently pulled away the blankets, revealing your tired glazed eyes and your tear stained cheeks. "Oh, my love. What... what happened?"

You didn't answer, feeling a swell of guilt erupt in your stomach. Din removed his helmet and placed it on the nightstand, and your heart jumped at the mere sight of your husband. His dark eyebrows were furrowed together in bewilderment and his honey colour eyes raked your body. "Who hurt you?" he asked, his voice dropping an octave. It was low and gravely; and you knew he was very serious. "Cyare... did something happen? Did someone-"

"No." you cut him off quickly.

No? Din's mind couldn't compute that answer. There was clearly something very wrong, and Din had to find out what exactly it was. Someone must've done something. You were fine yesterday. Had someone been on the ship while he and Grogu were out?

"Whoever or whatever it is— I can fix it. I will hunt them down cyare, you hear me? They won't know what hit them. I can-"

"Din stop," you pleaded with weak gasp, bringing your hands up to hide your face. You felt nothing but shame. "It's not... it's not like that. It's me."

Din's expression changed almost immediately. His face softened, his perfect plush lips parted slightly at your confession. He sat on the edge of the bed and took your hand. "What do you mean?" he quizzed quietly, although he had an inkling he already knew what you meant.

"I got up early this morning, excited to venture out to the farmers market with you and Grogu. Excited to go sourberry picking. But when I got dressed, it was like... something just hit me. I can't put it into words but I just felt so... so... ugly."

Once again, Din's brain simply could not compute your revelation. Ugly? You? How could you possibly feel that way. You shared the likeness of an angel. How could it be?

You swallowed and continued. "And then I got afraid. I got so scared that you'd see me the way I see me, and you wouldn't want to be with me anymore. That you'd run away from me and leave me behind." you shrugged helplessly. Now the tears were beginning to free fall.

"I could never, ever, think that of you, riduur. I love you so much. How could I possibly leave you? Without you, my life would end. It would be meaningless." Din revealed, his chocolate eyes glossy as he cupped your face with his large hand. His thumb traced the height of your cheekbone and you found yourself subconsciously leaning into his touch.

"Don't say things like that," you whispered, shaking your head. "You don't need me around... you already had everything under control before me."

"But nobody to make me smile. Nobody to make me laugh. Nobody to bring me joy... or show me the pleasure of how to love, and be loved in return." Din huffed, pressing his forehead against yours. "Next time you feel this way, please don't hide it from me. Whatever you're going through, we go through it together. Okay?"

You sniffed before finally nodding your head in affirmation. "Okay Din."

Din leaned in and pressed his lips against yours, the curve of his nose bumping into your cheek as he manouvered his body carefully over you. "So beautiful, and all mine." He purred lovingly before licking a stripe over your lower lip. You moaned wantonly and interwined your fingers in his curly brown locks of hair.

It was moments like this that you cherished forever. The sweet touches and soft murmers that made you void of all worry and insecurity; because in that moment, all that mattered was you and your riduur.

Permanent taglist: @paintballkid711 @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @luvzoria @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal @wonderfulfluffer @kiwi-the-first @pedroepascal @castiel-barnes @honeymandos @rocketqueen @ladycumberbatchofcamelot @dybalalover10 @girl-obsessed-with-things @elena-myth @moth-guillotine @pedro-pascal-love @hayley-the-comet @pinkninja190 @maxiarapamaya @autumnleaves1991-blog @artsymaddie @harrys-stan @kennedywxlsh @cripplingmoon @cheekygeek05 @mrschiltoncat @rye-flower @theamuz

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Three

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: tw for abuse mention. i hope this chapter is readable bc a lot of it was written when i should've been sleeping.

***

“...expecting heavy snow, possibly even a snowstorm, by the end of the week.” The TV blares softly in the background as Nesta types away on her laptop propped on the arm of the couch. The fireplace is up and crackling, and Cassian has to stop in the threshold between kitchen and living room to take in the scene. He’s getting a little too used to this, he worries sometimes. She’ll be gone as soon as her apartment is fixed, he reminds himself, and pushes off the wall to circle the couch and approach Nesta.

He sets the steaming mug of coffee down on the table before her and takes a seat beside her. She doesn’t even stop typing as she glances up and murmurs a “thank you” before returning to her paper.

Cassian doesn’t want to interrupt her work, so he settles into the comfortable habit of watching her. They watch each other a lot— Nesta claims it’s because she’s bored and there’s nothing else to look at. Cassian has no such delusions.

She’s in a wool sweater and thick leggings today. Her hair is pulled back in a worn braid and her glasses are pushed all the way up her nose, but what catches Cassian’s attention tonight is the way her baby hairs escape her braid and frizz around her temples. Yesterday it was the way her cheeks flushed in the firelight, and the day before it was those damn glasses. Today it’s baby hairs.

The fantasy is quick and sneaky, there in his mind before he’s even aware of it.

Getting up to sit on the floor before her. Nudging her legs apart with slow hands while her fingers stutter over the keyboard. Pushing the hem of her sweater up, and pulling her leggings down. “Focus on your work,” he says when she tries to push her laptop away. “Finish your paper for me.” Tracing the inside of her thighs with his lips until his head is right—

The slam of a laptop snaps Cassian out of it. Nesta makes a frustrated growl and rubs her hands across her face before shoving her laptop aside to reach for the coffee.

He raises a brow, endlessly amused by everything she does. “Writing troubles?”

“I deserve a break,” she grumbles.

“I could help with that.”

Tucking her feet beneath her legs, Nesta ignores him and gestures at the TV with her chin. “Think we’ll get snowed in?”

Cassian almost hopes so. Any excuse to build more fires and stay inside with Nesta. “I’ll have to make a shopping trip,” he says casually. “You want anything?”

“I want to be in a state where there aren’t blizzards in October.” She looks over at him. “I miss Tennessee.” It’s a simple admission that brings Cassian to attention. She never gives out details about herself unprompted.

“I didn’t know you still got homesick.” Feyre never talks about her childhood in Tennessee. The only indicator of the Archeron sisters’ pasts is Elain’s sweet little Southern belle accent, which Cassian has a feeling is more for show at this point than anything else.

Nesta shrugs awkwardly in response, but he keeps going. “Rhys’s mom had a summer house in the Smokies. We would go down there each year without fail until college.” Rhys thinks it was fate that the summer home was so close to the small mountain town where Feyre grew up. Cassian thinks that’s a stretch.

“Yeah?” Nesta sips her coffee. “Have you gone back since?”

He shakes his head. “Rhys and Feyre are renovating it right now. You should come vacation with us when it’s done.” He perks up at the sudden idea.

Nesta gives him that familiar weird look from the corner of her eye. “Mm-hm,” she hums noncommittally.

“I’m serious,” Cassian insists. “We could have fun.” He’s already imagining it, getting to show Nesta around the place he grew up. Hearing what she has to say about the rocks and corners he would hurt himself on when he played with his brothers, maybe even hearing about her childhood in the Smokies. But Nesta looks stuck, unsure of how to turn him down.

“It doesn’t sound like a good idea,” she states finally. “I wouldn’t be welcomed there, and I would be the odd outlier the entire time at best.”

Cassian already knows Nesta has no interest in getting friendly with the rest of Feyre’s friend group, and he can respect that. But he still wants her there.

“You wouldn’t have to hang out with everybody there,” he says. “You’d have me and your sisters. That’s three whole people.”

She looks surprised at that. “Since when did I have you?”

Oh. Cassian shrugs. “We’re friends, right? I like you, so you have me.”

She straightens even further at that. He continues without waiting for her reply. “That’s why I want you to vacation with us. I like you, and I’d like having you there.”

Nesta sits back against the couch, staring at him, and then her coffee, then him. “This is new,” she finally says.

Cassian is lost. “What is?”

She considers for a moment, chewing her lip. “I’ve had people say they love me,” she says slowly, “but I don’t think anyone has ever liked me very much.”

The words are so incomprehensible that Cassian just sits there like a fool. She’s making even less sense than when she told him she used to come around to Feyre’s all the time and he never noticed. “I don’t get it. Who doesn’t like you?”

Nesta frowns deeply. “Don’t make me come up with a list. It’s not nice.”

Cassian might need a list, because he wants to have words with these people. “Okay, then. Why wouldn’t anybody like you?”

Nesta’s eyes narrow into a glare and she scoffs like he just said something offensive. “Jesus, I don’t know. Why don’t you call up my ex and ask if you care so much?” She sets her empty mug down and stands up, gathering her laptop and notes as she goes.

Cassian doesn’t know what he said wrong. “Wait, Nes—”

“Thanks for the coffee, I’m going to finish my work in my room.” She pushes her glasses up her nose and speedwalks out of the room, ignoring Cassian’s calls to wait.

***

Cassian can’t sleep that night knowing Nesta is upset with him. He tried knocking at her door when he came upstairs an hour after Nesta had, but the lights were off and he received no reply. Now in bed, he listens to the howl of late autumn wind outside and goes over everything Nesta said earlier.

She misses Tennessee. She feels that nobody likes her. She has an ex that definitely doesn't like her.

It's the last two details that bother Cassian the most. He’s about to spiral into another hour of overthinking when his phone lights up on the nightstand.

Subconsciously thinking it's a text from Nesta, his hand shoots for his phone. He has to smother his disappointment when he sees it's only Feyre checking in.

Feyre: how are things going with nesta? is she causing u any trouble?

Maybe he’s still upset about his conversation with Nesta, but the text rubs him the wrong way. Nesta sounds like a pet or a rowdy child.

Cass: not at all. she’s perfect

He quickly erases that last word and hesitates, trying to think of another one.

she’s lovely wonderful great. He settles on great and clicks send.

A reply pops up a few seconds later.

Feyre: lmao sure

Cassian frowns at his phone. What’s that supposed to mean?

Another text appears: just tell me if you need anything and i’ll take care of it. i know this isnt easy.

What isn’t easy? Having a roommate? Cassian replies, We don’t need anything, we’re fine. He uses capitalization and everything, feeling offended for some reason. And then, not really wanting to see a reply from Feyre, he turns his phone off and leaves it facedown on the nightstand.

He shuffles deeper under the covers and pushes his friend out of his mind, thinking about ways to make up with Nesta tomorrow instead.

***

Nesta stays up all night berating herself for how she reacted to Cassian’s innocent question. She wasn’t expecting him to pry for details because no one ever pries into her life, and she freaked out instead of rationally assessing the situation.

A part of her is satisfied now, having seen this coming from a mile away. It happens with everyone she meets, when she says or does something wrong and inevitably pushes them away. Maybe she should keep pushing him away, and keep him at arm’s length for the rest of her time here.

A larger part of Nesta is embarrassed at having caused a scene, and worse, mentioning Tomas. Because that’s exactly where her mind went when Cassian asked that question— to the man who used to say he loved her, but who never truly liked her. Intrusive memories from years past attack Nesta until the sky outside turns a light gray: dressing up for fancy business events and having his arm wrapped around her waist in an illusion of affection. Him pinching her side hard enough to make tears spring to her eyes when nobody was looking and leaning into her ear to lovingly whisper everything wrong with her that night. Going home and having makeup sex.

She’s still flustered from Cassian and can’t keep the thoughts out as well as usual. When she finally does drift off into a restless imitation of sleep, it’s by holding her thumb to her wrist until the steady beat of her pulse soothes her worn nerves.

Nesta wakes up cramping.

It takes her a few moments to pull out of the fog of sleep and recognize the feeling, and she groans aloud. This can’t be happening to her right now.

She was stupidly hoping that her period would hold off until she moved back into her apartment. Her premenstrual cramps are telling her she has two days at most.

She refuses to go through that experience in the same house as Cassian. Her family doesn’t even like being in the same house as her when she’s on her period. Her ex would outright leave their apartment and stay at a friend’s until she got over it. So this…

She groans once more and pulls herself out of bed. A quick phone check tells her it’s only been three hours since she fell asleep, but she’s given up at this point.

Nesta tiptoes hesitantly out of her room, not wanting to face Cassian just yet. It’s only when she reaches the stairs that she realizes the house is unusually quiet, even though it’s almost eleven.

Frowning, Nesta pads into the kitchen to find two things: a covered dish sitting on the island and a green sticky-note stuck to the fridge. She goes for the note first.

In messy handwriting it reads: Went out for groceries. Text me if you need anything. Beneath the words is a dark, almost furious scribble of ink, as if Cassian had written something there only to forcefully scratch it out.

Without overthinking it, she gets out her phone and texts Cassian that she needs pads. It only occurs to her after she’s sent the message that that’s probably not enough information.

Having Cassian know Nesta is on her period is one thing, but him knowing the size of her pad? The heaviness of her flow? She might need to enforce that rule about him never speaking to her again.

In her best attempt to not be viewed as a walking blood gusher, she asks for a smaller size pad than usual and turns her phone all the way off so she can’t see any replies.

Once you’re out of this house you’ll never have to see him again, so it won’t matter if you’re the rude bitch who cried and bled a lot while she was staying at his place.

Going over to the kitchen island, she uncovers the plate she assumes is for her. She isn’t expecting anything much, maybe Cassian’s leftovers from breakfast, so she hesitates when she sees a full stack of chocolate chip pancakes. Carefully decorated with berries and syrup, they’ve long gone cold, but— still.

Nesta reaches out as if they might not be real, or not meant for her, but nothing happens. Mouth tightening, she snatches the plate and grabs a fork.

Cassian comes in through the kitchen door twenty minutes later, long after Nesta’s cleaned off her food and washed the dishes in the sink. He throws her a smile as he shakes snow out of his hair and sets down the bags of groceries on the island by Nesta’s laptop.

“Oh, is it snowing already?” She throws a concerned glance outside, not having noticed while she was working.

“It’s light for now, but it won’t be for long.” He starts taking off his coat, and Nesta gets up to help with the groceries. She quickly finds the bag holding her stuff and discreetly sets it aside, but then Cassian grabs another bag and upturns it, its contents sprawling all over the island. “I don’t know what your period’s like, but we’re gonna be snowed in for a while so I got some of everything just in case.” He looks hesitant.

“Oh— thank you,” she says, overwhelmed. There’s three different types of painkillers, all that she already owns, and ten different types of junk food. And they're all for her. Nesta plucks up a package, stunned. “How are gummy worms supposed to help me on my period?”

Cassian leans his elbows on the marble and shrugs. “They’ll make you happy.”

“I’m allergic to gelatin.”

His face falls. “Oh.”

But Nesta just places the gummies in front of him and starts sorting the rest of the stuff. All the chocolates end up on her side, and the candies and gum and hot chips on Cassian’s side. When she's done, she finds him watching her closely. “Did you want some chocolate?” She offers out a Twix bar, her favorite. “I can trade you.”

“Uh, sure.” He accepts her Twix in exchange for his Hot Cheetos.

Silence ensues as Nesta tears open a Toblerone package and breaks off a triangle of nougat, when she remembers she has to tell him something.

“Thank you.” Her words are out of place and out of nowhere, spoken during the wrong time mark of a film and ruining the rhythm of the scene. Despite this, she powers on. “Thank you for breakfast, but also for this. Thank you for everything, really.”

Cassian perks up. “Did you like breakfast?”

Nesta nods through a mouthful of chocolate. “Chocolate chip pancakes are my favorite, and you’re good at making stuff.”

He raises a dark brow. “You mean cooking?”

“Same thing.”

“Well, I’m glad you liked it.”

Nesta slumps in relief, thinking her necessary talking points are over with. She's thanked him for shopping and for breakfast. What more could be— damn.

She clears her throat, even though she doesn't know what to say yet. She won't apologize— she doesn't know if she's physically capable of it, to be honest, but she can still seem regretful.

“Are we over last night?” she says bluntly. So much for regretful.

Cassian seems startled that she's even brought it up, which is perhaps a good sign that he already forgot about it. “Of course,” he says. “Nesta, I really didn't mean to offend you—”

Oh god, he’s not over it. “Don't apologize,” Nesta demands, throwing her hands up to ward him off. “You didn't even do anything, why would you apologize?”

“Well, you looked upset,” he says seriously. Cassian’s apologetic face looks an awful lot like hurt, though Nesta doesn't know why he would possibly feel hurt. Still, she has to pin her stare to the dark cabinets so he can't hurt her in turn. He keeps talking. “I know I promised to push your boundaries, but I never want to hurt you.”

His sincerity is more than disarming; it makes her ache.

“And I hated not talking to you last night.”

That gets Nesta's attention, and she suddenly feels two things at once: a swoop of joy that he likes talking to her, and a heavy drop of guilt that she ignored him all last night, even when he knocked on her door and apologized profusely.

“I fell asleep early,” she decides to lie. “I wasn't ignoring you.”

Cassian smiles softly and reaches out to brush a thumb over the tired circles under her eyes. “I can tell,” he says.

She's gone dead still, but she doesn’t flinch. She doesn't even want to flinch. Cassian clears his throat and drops his hand, and Nesta’s eyes follow him closely. “We’re good,” she says in finality. “Let’s go back to normal now.”

Cassian nods, his face carefully blank. “Okay. Then stop stuffing your face and help me with the rest of the groceries.” He moves off the island and elbows her on the way.

That makes Nesta smile, which makes Cassian smile even harder, and just like that, they’re back to normal.

***

a/n: two things: 1) cassian definitely texted feyre that morning and asked what nesta’s favorite breakfast was, and 2) can you tell im in love with writing nesta archeron?

tagging: @ladywitchling @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @sensitiveillyrian @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08

[dannyboyzone]

samuel one shot?🥺

Note; This is angst with a happy end, it doesn't have a name, so if you would like to name it, you are free to do so. Since the topic is not specified, I wrote whatever I felt like writing. Y/n will have they/them pronouns so everyone feels comfortable. If you don't, just change it in your head.

TW - Depression, mentions of suicide.

Today has more than 7 billion stories. So many people are experiencing it differently, yet so similarly.

Someone died today, and another person was born. Maybe they will change the world, or destroy it.

A student is celebrating passing his exams, while an adult across the world is crying in their dark room thinking about that they never had the chance to tell their parents that 'hey, I am trans, please accept me.'

Everyone has their own struggles, so why?

Why is Y/n pitying themselves so much? They keep asking themselves that.

They are so stuck up on their own self, just hurting about minor things. Like small sentences, that their old neighbour probably already forgot about. Things their family already forgot about.

Yet they keep asking themselves; Why do they care so much?

Even now, when they are crying their eyes out. Their knees are pulled up to their chest, sitting on the edge of the rooftop. They can't bring themselves to jump off, even though they crave death so much.

Who are they to be in pain so much when others have to go through war, confrontation, missing someone they can never get back?

" AAAAAAAAAA "

Y/n yelled out to the thin air, even though they were sure even people from a few miles away could hear. It didn't really matter though, holding it back was harder than caring for other's around right now.

That what caused them to be a mess anyway, caring for others that much. Running a hand through their hair, they started to rip it and shake their head while continuing to cry.

How pathetic, Y/N thought to themselves, leaving no other option than to repeatedly slap their own cheek.

When no one in this world cares for you, it's hard to care for yourself.

" Hey, are you done putting on a show there? " they were interrupted by a deep, husky voice.

Y/n sniffed and turned around a bit. Hanging one of their legs freely off the rooftop, while resting the other on their lap.

They raised their brow at the sight of the unknown man coming closer to them.

Man.. ? The closer he got, the more obvious it was that he must be a teenager, just really buff.

He still had a bit of baby fat on his cheeks, which was quite cute, as Y/n would think.

It's quite funny though.

The neighbourhood they are in is pretty old, out dated and full of graffiti everywhere. Yet this stranger is wearing such an expensive suit, that doesn't even have a single spot of dust on it.

So, what is he doing here?

Y/n sniffed, while rubbing the tears with their palm away.

" Who are you? "

The boy leaned on the barrier of the rooftop which Y/n was sitting on top of. There were only a few inches between them.

The boy took a glance at the other's eyes, swollen and red from crying. Their eyelashes were stuck together at some parts at the end, it's such a pity.

It would be a lie if he said he didn't check the person's body language out, he didn't care much, but he noticed that they were holding onto the barrier tightly.

He then took out a cigarette from his pocket, placing it in his between his lips.

" Don't you have better problems than that? " , said he, as the cigarette got put on fire.

Y/n ran a tongue through the inside of their cheek, wanting to move closer. They didn't though, as they decided that's not worth it.

They were quite raged, yet calm at the same time.

For the best guess, they wanted to be though. It was quite embarrassing to let a stranger watch your very own melt down, let alone not even be aware of it.

" Well, I have the right to know! After all, you saw more of me than what I am comfortable with! "

" .. It's Samuel. "

" Well Samuel, will you leave? I am trying to do something here! "

Samuel couldn't help but... laugh.

Do something my ass, he thought.

He took a smoke from his cigarette, and looked up at the sky. It was a really sunny sunday, perfect to just sit back and enjoy life. Sadly, not everyone could.

" Go ahead then, jump. "

Y/n blinked, what the fuck?

" Excuse me, how fucking insensitive are you? "

Samuel just shrugged a shoulder, in a nonchalant way. " So what? "

He put his cigarette out, turning his head towards Y/n.

That moment, their face was met with smoke. They couldn't help but cough, it felt so terrible.

This guy, is a complete fucking asshole. How can a person be so.. heartless? It's like there is no soul in their eyes. Truly, no one cares.

Y/n wanted to slap him, but as soon as they raised their hand, their wrist was squeezed. Samuel held their hand in the air, making it feel stuck. Their eyes met, and Y/n got shivers down their spine.

He has to let go, now.

" Someone who wants to die doesn't mind smoke in their face. They will be dead anyway, won't they? "

Y/n was in disbelief, but they could barely hear.

They were so afraid of falling off, they couldn't help but shake.

The ground was so far away, it could kill anyone. If anything were to fall, it would end the lives of the people walking by.

Samuel walked a few steps closer, watching as Y/n's eyes got filled with tears and fear yet again.

" ... You are scared of falling of, now that you don't have anything to hold onto. "

Y/n's head was filled with different kind of thoughts, but what scared them above above anything else, that this guy is right.

There is something in him, that Y/n isn't quite aware of, but finds comfort in. Admitting it is not an option, for now, they kept moving, as much as they could.

" Let go of me! "

With that, their wrist was free again. It had quite a big red mark over it, which didn't matter all that much. It would fade by night anyway.

Y/n immediately faced the door to the stairs, which was quite far away. They backed up, their breath becoming quicker and quicker. Staring down at the people underneath them.

They couldn't move backwards for long, because Samuel stood their, pressing the front of their body to Y/n's back. At least they didn't fall backwards to the cement floor of the rooftop.

" Jump, if you wish so that bad. Don't let me stop you. "

He rested their chin on the top of their head, and slid his hands in the pockets of his pants.

" I don't get you, how am I different? The elderly couple you would fall on, the flower shop owner, the boy drawing graffiti on the walls and that little girl in the cherry socks who had met her dad for the first time today.. they would all see you fall. So why does it matter if I see you?... Actually, don't answer me. It's because you wouldn't have to face them, but would have to remember me. They would all remember you for a life though. "

Y/n shut their eyes tight.

Who the fuck does he think he is?

They were filled with hatred and frustration, moving their fingers on the barrier that they held so tightly onto. Y/n wanted to escape, but quite frankly, they didn't know how to react.

Because the shittiest part of it all? No matter how rough it sounds, he is right. No one likes confrontation, but it doesn't mean it's always a lie.

Jumping off would be no use to anyone here. Maybe sometimes, all of us just want someone to hear the desperate yell of our actions. To pull us back in. The universe may not always serve it as you would expect it though.

Y/n let out a sigh, more so to even their breath, and carry their thoughts in another direction.

" So, what do you want from me? "

" I don't know if you know, but you talk while thinking. Why do you care so much about others? They don't want to be pitied, and some people that are better off from you, have these exact same thoughts and might think of you. But they don't help, like you don't help their situation either. So why not help yourself? "

Huh.. He must break hearts often.

The voice belonging to the cold hard truth was like a river.

It was ice cold, causing either tragedies or beautiful memories.

He stepped back, fixing his messy hair. That was the first time Y/n noticed that his knuckles had bruises on them.

That left a lot of questions, is he a gangster? But he is too clean for that. Maybe a CEO? But what would he do there then?

Y/n could have paced out for a bit, because the next thing they have noticed is Samuel walking down the stairs, back facing them, holding his hand up as a sorry excuse of a wave.

" When you are able to admit that you want a new life instead of death, you can come and I will show you a whole new world. "

Y/n looked down on their hand, taking a glance at a tiny old toy. It was simply a tiny plastic chicken, from a happy meal. It sounds ridiculous, but it was from their father, who seems to spend less and less time with them until the point they became strangers.

They always carried it around, even if it only had a meaning to them and no one else in the world.

Y/n wiped their tear, pulling their leg to the other side of the rooftop, jumping onto it.

" You sure do talk a lot compared to other assholes. " they laughed.

Unknown to what would happen next, they followed Samuel. What's the worst that could happen? At least someone wanted them by his side.

They held onto his suit, just like a lost child would.

" So, are you a gangster Mr Know It All? "

" You will find out. "

END

Outro;

Yeah, this is like.. shitty and makes zero sense our of context. But how would you react to that level of confrontation? I sure as hell don't know.

Also, Sammy went there bc was stressed bc he HAS to find new members for his part of workers.. well guess what happened next 👀

Sorry anon, I feel like this wasn't quite what you wanted, if you want to look at it as romance, if not then do not. I just couldn't imagine Samuel being madly in love, so the machine threw out this I guess. Next time please specify if there is anything you want!

[winterromanov]

know it’s for the better - bucky x reader

pairing: college!bucky x reader

part of the will we talk? universe

prompt:  what about college!bucky during quarantine? their school gets shut down... do they stay together? how does it go?

a/n: a repost bc the ‘read more’ fucked up on the ask and idk??? what happened??? but here u go. about 2k words

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know it’s for the better

The semester is not supposed to end like this. No, there are supposed to be parties and laughter and getting wine drunk on the roof, bare legs dangling into New York City. There are supposed to be finals, and library study sessions, and football games in hot, summer rain. There are supposed to be more nights tucked in the twin bed in your dorm room with Bucky’s arm looped round your waist, fingers splayed across your bare skin.

Instead it’s the beginning of March and everything is over. You could feel it coming like storm clouds, black and ominous, hovering on the horizon. The virus has been hovering on your periphery for an embarrassingly long time. As your twitter timeline became more and more scary and the news could talk of little else, it has become frighteningly and anxiously real. Life—everywhere, but particularly in New York—is never going to be the same.

You have no choice but to pack up your little dorm room and return home. Your mom had frantically booked you a flight out, worrying that in less than a week they could be suspended altogether. The virus has been spreading furiously in the city. A place you now call home could be one of the most dangerous places in the world.

And yet…the thought of leaving behind everything so abruptly is killing you. It’s not even school, despite loving it so much. It’s not the college lifestyle or your friends or just having the freedom to waltz wherever you want without fear.

It’s Bucky.

You leave New York, you have to leave him. And God knows how long that might be for.

“Y/N.” His voice is soft, barely a whisper. Bucky has been quietly watching you fill suitcases with clothes, cardboard boxes with belongings. Every so often it looks like he is going to help, but he thinks twice about it, like he can’t bear this is happening. “Y/N…could we, like, stop for a second?”

“My flight leaves first thing in the morning,” you say, refusing to turn and look at him. Your eyes well up as your tear Polaroids and ticket stubs and a sketch Steve did for you from your corkboard, unable to look at those either. They’re just reminders of everything you’re leaving and will never be the same again. “I don’t have time. I just need to get this done, okay?”

“I can’t just keep watching you do this and not talk about what’s going to happen next!”

“Well, maybe you could fucking help, then.”

You never swear, not really, and you can feel Bucky’s expression burning into the back of your skull. Hurt, surprise, desperation. “Let me help. Let me understand what is going through your head.”

“I—I didn’t mean that kind of help, I just need to pack these damn bags…”

Bucky’s hands touch your shoulders. It should feel familiar, his limbs and yours colliding. But he feels like fire. It feels like you’re going to have his handprints burnt into your skin, red and raw, a tattoo of the one real relationship you’ve ever had.

Because he knows just as well as you do that…it’s not going to work, is it? School is over. There is a fucking pandemic going on outside, and you live all the way on the other side of the country whilst he is and always will be a Brooklyn boy. You were supposed to have a whole semester and the summer to sort out what came next, to establish the foundations of your future together, if there was definitely going to be one. And that’s been ripped underneath you like a traumatic tablecloth.

You love him. You love him so fucking much. But is it fair to try and keep going when everything is like this?

“You know my mom and dad would love you to move in,” he says, “You can quarantine with us, see how things go. I just—I just don’t want you to leave. Please don’t leave.”

“Bucky. Please. That’s not fair.” You say, eyes fluttering closed. “We haven’t lived together before and…how do you know we’d work like that? This is serious, and terrifying, and I need to be somewhere I feel safe.”

“You don’t feel safe with me?”

At that you turn to face him, seeing the desperate pain in his eyes. You run your hands across his jawline, cupping at his neck. One tear runs across and down your wrist and he looks away, embarrassed. “Sweetheart. You know that’s not what I meant.”

“God. Yeah. I know, darl’. I know.” He kisses your hand softly. “With everything going on, (Y/N), my future feels a lot more certain knowing you’ll still be in it.”

You fall into his chest, inhaling him in. That woody, fresh scent of his cologne, coffee and mint and dark chocolate. You want to wrap yourself up in him and drown. Escape to a place where time is irrelevant, and nothing ever ends.

“I need to be with my family, Bucky. My mom is worried about me. I can’t put her through me staying here, even if I wanted to. And your mom would be the same.”

“I get that. I do. But you’re—you’re making it sound like that we have to break up.” You lean out of his embrace, his tear-filled eyes scrutinising you. “Are…we breaking up?”

Your mouth opens, swinging like a door on a loose hinge as you try and say something. Eloquence usually comes to you easy, when talking about the books you read for class. It’s one of the things Bucky first noticed about you, your fervent love for language. But there are no words for this. Just empty, agonising silence.

“Why do we have to break up?” He asks, voice cracked in two like a broken porcelain vase. “Why is that what you immediately resort to? There are thousands of ways we could make this work. Starting with the fact that I love you. Is that not enough to even try?”

You pause. Your room, once your safe haven, now feels torturous and unbearable. Suffocating. You bite your lip, tears burning behind your eyelids. “I would love to say yes, Bucky, but I don’t know. I just—I don’t want to be a few weeks down the line, you here and me in Colorado, finding out that it hasn’t worked and it isn’t enough and we have to break up over fucking Skype or…I don’t know, slowly ghost each other into nothingness? I would a million times over rather end it here where I love you than then where I don’t.”

“That is the worst logic I’ve ever heard. Literally the worst. You are assuming the absolute worst of both of us, and…” he runs a frantic hand through his hair. “You know what, if that’s what you think, maybe you’re right. If you have that little faith in me—us—now, maybe we should call it quits.”

“Bucky—”

“I’m going to leave. Have a good trip home.” He looks around your room for one last second but does not meet your gaze. “Have a really fucking good trip home.”

Bucky hovers for a moment by the door, like he’s waiting for one last glimmer of hope. That you might ask him to stay because even…even after all that, he still would drop everything for you to say stay.

But you don’t. The door reverberates loudly in the frame on his way out.

-

You don’t break down, which surprises you. For a little while after he leaves, when you try to immerse yourself in packing and singing along to Taylor Swift from your speaker, you think that it’s for the best. It is, it is, because it can’t work and it won’t work and this will save pain further down the line.

But the hours pass and silence creeps in to your now empty, echoing dorm room, absent of the vibrant life that once occupied it and—your heart feels wrong. This is not freeing, or a relief. This is not the ending you wanted.

You go to get a shower and Bucky’s sports towel is hung over one of the empty cubicles. You turn the tap as hot as it can get it, drowning the whole room in steam and something switches within you. The tears start and they refuse to stop, wracking your body like convulsions.

You fucked it. You well and truly fucked one of the only things that could have got you through all of this, even if you’re over a thousand miles away. It’s like Bucky said. The future is uncertain and scary and untenable, but it feels a hell of a lot more definite with him in it.

You wrap yourself in your towel and walk back into the corridor. Wiping your eyes, there’s a shape in a red jersey hovering next to your door.

“Bucky?”

He turns, his jaw tight and eyes rimmed with red. “Y/N.”

He doesn’t have to say anything else. You run over to him, grabbing fistfuls of him desperately, like he’s going to flare and fade from you forever. His arms wrap around you with equal vigour, warm and panicky and home.

“I didn’t mean it.” You say, your words swallowed up by his ribcage. “Dear God, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it.”

You can feel him sob, body trembling in your arms. “Thank God.”

“I don’t know what will happen next. I haven’t got a fucking clue. But I know I want you there, okay? However it turns out.” You bring his lips down for a kiss tinged with hot water and steam, relief and pure, young, beautiful love. Your foreheads gently rest together. Another quick kiss. “I love you. I love you.”

He kisses you again, like he’s trying to fit in as many as he can. Like he’s packing them all into a suitcase for you to relive, one by one by one, when you’re at home and everything feels like its crumbling.

It will never crumble completely. You know this, because James Buchanan Barnes is your foundations, and he made it pretty fucking clear on day one when he grinned at you in sophomore year Russian lit. You both love novels because you love stories. You love beginnings and ends and everything in between, the climaxes and the romances, murders and death and life—you love breaking apart character, brutally analysing fictional lives and motives. But most of all, you love the feeling of watching characters you adore falling completely and utterly in love. You have spent years trying to define your favourite love story amongst the hundreds you’ve read, but you never thought—

All that time, all you had to do was wait.

send me a request

[justauthoring]

Twist of Events [H.S.]

Request: Frat boy Harry likes a shy girl, but is mean to her at parties bc he’s keeping up his popularity and fuck boy / frat boy status, but eventually he realizes he’s being stupid and gets all sweet and soft with her ❤️

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader Word Count: 3,212 Please don’t plagiarize my work!

Notes: I will be writing a second part to “Just A Fantasy” but I really needed to get this out of my system. So, enjoy.

“So...”

Quirking a brow at the sound of your best friend, you tilt your head up curiously as she leans against the frame of your open door, arms crossed over her chest. There’s a mischievous grin on her face and instantly, the thought that something’s up crosses your mind.

But, you give her the benefit of the doubt.

“So,” you repeat, shutting your textbook and pushing it off your lap onto your bed. “What’s up?”

She hesitates a moment, as if nervous and your suspicion raises considerably. Your best friend is never one to hesitate, especially when it comes to you. She usually doesn’t even asks when she wants something, which means whatever she does want directly involves you. And those scenarios never really end well; for you at least.

“There’s a party tonight...--”

Ah. It clicked.

“Okay,” you shrug, “I’d just finished up my homework anyways so I can... Why are you wincing?”

“It’s at you-know-who’s place...”

Harry’s. You most certainly do not like Harry.

“Well, have fun then.”

Your best friends shoulders instantly fall and she runs over to you, collapsing onto your bed in defeat. “Come on, Y/N! Please!” She begs, her voice sickly sweet as she pouts up at you. “You never leave your room anymore and I miss you!”

“If you miss me,” you say simply, pointing a finger at her, “we can just go out you and I.”

“But I wanna go to a party!”

“And I don’t one to go to one of his.”

She huffs. “You’ve been to party’s where he’s been there before. Why is it such a big deal?”

“Because,” you start slowly, shaking your head. “It’s his party, this time. I’ll be surrounded by everything that is... him. There’ll be no escaping him. And I do not want to see him.”

Never failing her pout, your best friend sighs. “I get that he can be particularly mean--”

“More like cruel.” You correct, “it’s like he gets joy out of torturing me.”

She pauses, her head probably spinning a mile per minute to see how she can convince you to come. You simply watch, moving to grab your phone to entertain yourself. It clearly was going to be a boring night, so maybe you could start watching a new show or something.

“I won’t leave your side.”

You laugh, “you say that every time. And then somehow, you’re always in Niall’s arms by the end of the night.”

“He’s cute!” You friend defends, her lips parting at your sly comment and smirk.

“I can tell.”

“Please, Y/N,” she begs, her voice pleading as she blinks up at you through her lashes. “I need to get drunk, you need to get drunk, and I know you’ve been dying to wear that dress you impulsively bought a month ago. You never go out, so tonight’s the perfect excuse to wear it.”

You frown, your eyes instinctively glancing at your closet where the dress hangs proudly, begging to be worn. 

“I can see you’re thinking about it!” Your friend grins wide, teeth shining as she blinks innocently at you, eyes twinkling.

“I don’t like going out.”

“You’ll have fun.”

“I’m socially awkward.”

“Once you’re drunk, you’ll be fine.”

“We leave the minute my torture inevitably begins.”

“Yay!” Almost instantly, she’s on her feet, engulfing you in a tight hug. She pulls you up to your own feet along the way, jostling you around as she squeals excitedly in your arms. “I promise you you’ll have fun tonight,” she gushes, pulling back from the hug. “Now, we have to start getting ready. I’ll help you with your makeup.”

“I don’t need makeup.”

“Just sit down.”

-

You were not having fun.

Jenny left you the second the familiar head of a certain blonde head appeared and from your spot against the wall, you could see the two of them grinding against each other on the dance floor. Leaving you utterly and completely alone.

Your dress felt definitely far too short and you were constantly tugging it downwards. You’d failed to get drunk, mainly because you didn’t really want to, but without alcohol in your system, you most definitely did not have the courage to go up and talk to anyone. It’s why you didn’t do parties. You were too socially inept for them, and didn’t really know anyone besides Jenny.

No one really knew you existed.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Somehow, in your world of being incredibly quiet and never really saying much, you’d manage to catch the attention of one Harry Styles. You’re not exactly sure how, but the arguably most popular guy at your school seemed to not find you invisible.

However, the attention was anything but good.

You were terrified of running into him. The guy oozed confidence and cockiness and you always felt incredibly small when stood in front of him. He made you feel, for lack of a better word, like a loser. And without the confidence alcohol provided or the support of your best friend, you knew running into him would be the absolute worst thing that could happen to you.

So, that’s probably why you did.

You were wandering around aimlessly, trying to find a bathroom, when a shoulder bumped into your own aggressively. The force of it sent you stumbling back a few steps and if it hadn’t been for the narrow hall and the wall behind you, you’re sure you would’ve ended up falling into someone. You mentally thanked the wall for saving you from further embarrassment.

When you turn, it’s obviously Harry who’d bumped into you and you’re not surprised by the scowl that settles itself on his lips as he takes you in. Though, you also don’t miss the way his eyes seem to drift across your entire self, from feet to your eyes before the scowl settles and it irks you as odd but you don’t really comment on it.

“I don’t remember inviting you.”

Biting your lip, you swallow thickly; “i’m sure you don’t remember inviting a lot of people here.”

“But I specifically didn’t invite you.”

Huffing, you try to ignore the way you feel like curling into yourself at his heavy gaze and square your shoulders for mock confidence. “Whatever, Harry. I just need the bathroom and then i’ll be on my way.”

He falters, even if just slightly, and his lips part but before he can say anything another figure ends up running right into you. This time, it’s the full force of something crashing into you and the uncomfortable feeling of something cold cascading down the front of your dress, causing you to shiver in response. Your lips part as the girl who’d walked into you backs up, revealing the now bright right stain on your brand-new white dress you’d been so excited to wear.

Not to mention, your black bra that starts to peek underneath as your dress soaks.

Instantly, your hands move to cover your chest, letting out a shrill cry of “what the hell” as the girl laughs, falling comfortably next to Harry’s side.

You should’ve known he’d have something to do with this.

Cheeks flushed a bright red, you stumble back, desperate to get away. You felt like a complete idiot and cursed yourself for letting Jenny convince you to come when you knew all along it’d only end in your embarrassment. Normally, it was just Harry talking down to you, making you feel as worthless as you knew you were. But tonight it was an entirely different level of embarrassment and your feet are carrying you faster then you’re even thinking and somehow, you’re not really sure, you manage to find yourself in a bathroom.

You lock the door shut behind you, leaning against the counter with huff as you feel your eyes burn in embarrassment.

Stop crying. Stop... don’t cry. That means they’ve won.

But you know they already have.

Wiping harshly at your cheeks, you don’t dare to glance at yourself in the reflection of the mirror, moving to grab your phone and text Jenny. You’d hope she’d answer and grab your sweater she’d force you to leave in her car and then maybe, you’d convince her to let you leave if she saw the state you were in.

But, as you instinctively move to grab your purse from your purse, you realize, your purse isn’t there.

Panic settling, you glance around at the floor of the bathroom, trying to see if you’d dropped it somewhere along the way in a flurry of embarrassment. But it’s no where to be seen. With a sigh of defeat, as more tears well in your eyes, you realize you must’ve dropped it somewhere along the way. Now, you couldn’t just go home and you’d have to go searching for your phone, wallet and everything else valuable in your stained and see-through brand new dress.

A known pulls you out of your thoughts.

“It’s occupied!”

“It’s, uh... It’s Harry,” Your brows furrow, body stilling as your eyes slowly slide over to the bathroom door, your chest tightening in worry. “I... I have your purse, You dropped it, um, when that girl bumped--”

You pull the door open, cowering behind the door as you reach your hand out expectantly, waiting for Harry to give it to you. He just stares at you.

“You brought it all the way here,” you mumble, sniffling despite yourself. “Are you really going to continue--”

“Here, here,” he drops the strap of the purse in your hand and with that, you move to shut the door. But Harry steps forward, pressing his hand against the door, effectively stopping you. You blink, brows furrowing as you turn to him in disbelief.

“Listen, as much as i’d love to hear you insult me more, i’m really not in the mood right now, Harry. And i’d really just like to go home which is exactly what you wanted anyways, so can you just--”

“Are you okay?”

Okay, what?

Harry scrambles to continue, shaking his head as he uses your surprise to walk into the bathroom completely and shut it behind you. You’re too shocked to even try and cover yourself. “I didn’t know she was going to do that, honest. And, I... I would’ve stopped her if I had.”

“Cause you’re the only one whose allowed to humiliate me?”

“What?” He blinks, voice sharp. “No, no, it’s just... I don’t know, I feel like that was worse, somehow... And i’m just sorry.”

“You humiliate me fine on your own, Harry. No need to worry about that.”

“No, that’s not what i’m trying to say.” You blink as Harry lets out a huff of frustration, running his hands over his face. Your tears are left forgotten, staining on your cheeks as you blink up at the boy in absolute bewilderment. 

Where had this sudden change of heart come from?

“I’m not trying to-to embarrass you or-or make sure i’m the best at it-- whatever, that doesn’t matter.” He pauses, turning to you with the softest, gentlest expression you’ve ever seen on the boy; let alone just towards you. And it shocks you completely and so deeply that you’re not sure how to respond whatsoever and you’re just completely stunned for words as you blink at him. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you shake your head, “I just want to go home and get out of this ruined new dress--”

“I can buy you a new one if you’d like.”

“I don’t need your charity, Harry,” you snap, anger flooding you at his words. Who the hell did he think he was? “Not because you suddenly feel remorse for being an actual dick to me since we’ve met.” Huffing, you square your shoulders, pushing him back a little. “Now, will you just leave? I don’t need your help, okay?”

“But--”

“Just leave.”

He hesitates a moment longer, before abiding.

Jenny, luckily, answers on the third ring.

-

“Watch it.”

Sighing, you chose not to retort, simply continuing on your path out of class and ignoring the rather rude classmate that had just run directly into you.

However, it seems someone else falls to ignore it.

“Hey!” Blinking, you halt at his voice, sharply turning your head over your shoulder in bafflement. Harry runs straight up to the guy who’d walked into you, and you’re pretty sure they’re even on the same soccer team, but that doesn’t really matter.

Eyes narrowed and jaw clenched, Harry shoves the boy back; “you bumped into her.”

“What the hell, Styles? Since when--”

“Just apologize to her.”

Eyes widening, you jerk your head back in surprise, the thought of food that had completely been your focus fading at the sight of Harry Styles standing up for you.

“I’m not gonna apologize to her,” the boy huffs, laughing as if his teammate was joking with him. “And you’re one to talk, Styles. I’m pretty sure everyone here knows how much you hate her.”

There’s murmurs of agreement and you blink.

“I don’t hate her,” Harry brushes the comment off with a huff. “Just apologize to her.”

“He doesn’t--”

“Stay out of it, Y/N.” You blink at the sharp look he sends you, silently warning you to stay put.

What the hell?

“I already told you i’m not going--”

You snap out of your shock when Harry sends a right hook into the boys cheeks. Instantly, you rush forward, whether stupidly or not, and with an act of bravery grab onto Harry’s arm, tugging him back. He fights your grip but you manage to pull him away enough to step in front of him and smile warily up at the teammate he’d just assaulted. “It’s fine, it’s fine,” you assure, shaking your head before things get worse. “You don’t need to apologize. It’s fine. I’m sorry.”

The boy smirks at you. satisfied at your apology and you have to tighten your grip on Harry considerably not to have him lash out again.

When the boy’s gone, you aggressively tug Harry aside, into the nearest empty classroom, slamming the door shut behind you to avoid wandering gazes and eavesdroppers. “What the hell was that, Harry?”

“He walked into you!” Harry defends himself, as if that’s an actual defense. “And why the fuck did you apologize? He--”

“To stop you from getting hurt!” You interrupt without real thought. Blinking at what you’d said, you step back, shaking your head. “Either of you... that was reckless and stupid. And to be honest with you, you’ve bumped into me plenty of times, Harry. You did last night. So--”

“That was...” Harry’s voice trails, not sure what to say.

You just shake your head. “Now that I mention it, you’ve been... weird lately. And I don’t know if this is some sort of prank--”

“--It’s not--”

“But just... either go back to your old ways or just leave me alone, Harry.” Taking a step back, you move towards the door, choosing to ignore the dejected expression on Harry’s face at your words. “Because I don’t really want any part of whatever this is.”

“It’s not--”

You walk out and shut the door before he can finish his words.

-

“So,” Jenny starts, opening your door and walking towards you, “care to explain to me why there’s a bouquet of flowers left outside our dorm room addressed to you?”

She hands you the bouquet and you take it with furrowed brows and parted lips, shaking your head.

“What--” You halt, catching sight of the card left. Setting the bouquet down on your desk, you open the tiny card, shoulders falling when you read what’s inscribed in tiny, messy writing.

Let me explain everything. H.

He also left his phone number.

“Whose it from?”

“Harry.”

Jenny blinks. Once. Twice. Then, “what?”

“Yeah,” you meet her eyes with a nod.

“Either, we’re in a entirely different universe or you’ve failed to tell me something.”

Needless to say, you tell her everything. You tell her about the party, you tell her about the day after and you tell her about the fact that despite your words, the days that followed, Harry hadn’t really stopped whatever game it was he was playing. He hadn’t directly spoke to you, but, suddenly, you seemed a whole lot less invisible because his gaze was always on you. You hadn’t been pushed or shoved around like you normally were and people actually sought you out to talk to you.

It was completely insane.

“Are you gonna text him?”

“I don’t know,” you gnaw on your bottom lip, “should I?”

Without hesitation, eyes gleaming, she nods; “yes.”

“I knew you’d say that,” you sigh, eyeing the number. “But, still, I should ask, why?”

“Because... he could be madly, secretly in love with you.” You raise a brow, unimpressed. “It’s not that impossible,” she defends herself with a scoff. “And, you try to deny it, but you like him too.”

“I like the boy whose bullied me since we’ve met?”

“Why else would you have gone to that party a few days ago?”

Pausing, you realize she’s right. Directly or indirectly, consciously or unconsciously, you’d gone to that party in hopes of seeing Harry. In hopes that maybe, something would change in his attitude towards you. And, it seemed like it had.

“Okay,” you give in, “i’ll text him.”

-

Somehow, Jenny was right.

Maybe, he wasn’t in love with you. That was reaching. But... he certainly, apparently, felt something for you.

“I know it doesn’t explain it or excuse it...”

“Yeah,” you nod, “it really doesn’t.”

“I am sorry.”

Pausing, you bite your bottom lip, eyes wandering across Harry whose sat in front of you. “It’s so stupid,” you huff, not really knowing what else to say or how else to express yourself. “You’ve been a total dick to me this entire time just to hide the fact that you liked me because I wasn’t popular?”

Harry just frowns.

“You’re so stupid.”

“I know.”

“And you’re a fucking jerk.”

“I am.”

“And for some reason, I like you too.”

Harry blinks, once, twice, shock flooding his system before his eyes light up with hope. “You do?”

Sinking back against your seat, you nod. “Yeah,” you breathe, “somehow, I do. I must be pretty messed up, liking the guy who bullied me.”

“Not as messed up as I am for bullying the girl I liked.”

Your lips curve, just slightly, at that; heart fluttering.

Harry reaches across the table, shocking you by taking his hand in your own and squeezing it. “I really am sorry, Y/N.”

“I know.”

“I really--”

“It’s okay,” you smile softly, squeezing his hand in return. “I understand.”

Harry nods, slowly at first, then, he decides to test the waters a little; “so...--”

“You’ll have to prove to me,” you shrug, simply stating the words as is. “Take me on dates, earn my trust. I’m still not sure this isn’t just one big elaborate prank.”

“It isn’t,” he says without hesitation, “I promise.”

“Then, prove it.”

He sits up, leaning forward, “tomorrow, are you free?”

Biting your lip, you nod, smiling softly.

“Okay, i’ll take you out on a date. I promise, you won’t regret it.”

“I better not.”

But somehow, you knew you wouldn’t.

-

Let me know what you thought?

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #467

“oh, mary, mary, ain’t this fun?  /  mary, mary, i’ve got a gun”

If the last person you kissed asked you to marry them, what would you do? Pray to god it wasn't in public and tell him it's waaaay too soon for that one. Does your favorite uncle have any children? Yeah, a son and daughter. Name all the members (first, middle and last names) from your favorite band. Ha, it's funny how once upon a time, I could do this. All I've got now is John Michael Osbourne. Have you ever heard a young child swear? Maybe? Have you ever seen someone get a piercing/tattoo?: Yes to both. Has a taste of something ever made you smile? Boy meet me at The Cheesecake Factory and see what my face does lmaooo As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a paleontologist sooo badly. I wanted to discover new dinosaurs, put a shitload of work into unearthing fossils and being so proud to see the final results... Even now as an adult, if I could handle the heat, traveling, and hardcore school, I'd still love to do that. Would you cuss the person you hate the most out to their face? No. My hatred for her is unjustified and I'd rather just not say anything to her. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? No. Where do you see your closest friend in ten years? As one of the strongest people around. I imagine her with a job in medical coding, while also pursuing the hobbies of ball python breeding and writing. I'm sure she'll have loads of pets to love, too! Do you like Florence + The Machine? I've never listened to them. Did you watch the presidential debates? No. Do you ever watch Dr. Phil? No. Are you typically unattracted to people outside of your race? No; I can be attracted to any race. Have you ever ridden any animal other than a horse? No. Do you brush your hair when it’s wet? Yes. Do you eat the crusts of your bread? Yeah, I always have. Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah! At my childhood home, there was a tobacco field directly across the street, and when they weren't in season so the field was flat, Dad would help us with getting kites set up and in the air. Those are good memories. How are you for money? I don't make any money. Mom is struggling. Do you think you are more intelligent than the average person? Ha, no. Do you ever think about why we are here? Does it matter? We're here, so make the most of it. Do you like cherries? I fucking hate cherries. Name a celebrity that you admire that nobody would expect you to: Jeffree Star, probs. Can you use a yoyo? Not well, but yeah. Do you think Jenna Marbles’ videos are funny? I've actually never watched her. Do you like folk music? NOOOOOOOOO Ever had a crush on somebody of the same sex? Yes. Do you know any lesbians? Yep. Favourite member of your favourite band: I'm unfamiliar with all but Ozzy himself. And Ozzy is rad. Who’s your favourite female rapper? I don't have one. When you were younger, were you ever in a relationship with someone you now realize was way too old for you? No. Have you ever had a seizure? No. I sometimes have very, very quick spasms when I'm falling asleep that feel like what I assume a seizure would, but they barely last a second. They seriously jerk me awake, though, and are very startling. What’s the oldest man-made object you own? I dunno. Is there anything you feel like you need a break from? Not really, no. What do you hate to hear people joke about? I will actually and remorselessly deck you in the jaw if you make a joke about rape. There are other things that are absolutely forbidden joking matters for me, too. What’s the largest animal you’ve seen in the wild? Hmmm... Nothing that big, really. Maybe a whitetail deer buck? Do any of your friends or family members have strange occupations? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever been in weather so severe that you feared for your safety? Oh yeah. We've had some savage thunderstorms. What political issues are the most important to you personally? LGBTQ+ rights and just equality in general, the pro-choice movement, environmental conservation, gun control, the abolishment of poverty and homelessness... There is honestly a lot. I could keep going. Do you know anyone who doesn’t know how to cook even just simple recipes? ... Me. :x Especially now that I'm in a relationship, I really want to make a greater effort to learn. I want to prove to him I give a damn about the success of our relationship and that I'm capable of being an adult that can take part in general adult responsibilities. ^What’s stopping them from learning this basic life skill? Laziness. Forgetfulness. The fear of getting burned. What small thing makes you automatically distrust someone? I can pick up on sketchy body language from a mile away. I'm too paranoid not to. Of all the states/provinces in your country, which one is your favorite? At least from photographs I've seen, Utah appears BEAUTIFUL. That whole region of the U.S. in general. Are there any obscure foods you’ve eaten that most people have never tried? That's very unlikely. I'm far from explorative with food. When you travel to other countries, do you always try the local cuisine? I've never been outside the U.S. I would probably do that, though. I'd really want to experience the culture as thoroughly as I could. What did you do for your 19th birthday? Hell if I remember. What’s the kindest thing a total stranger has done for you? I remember as a young kid, my parents, two sisters, and I were getting food at McDonald's, and whoever was in front of us paid for our meals. Such a sweet gesture for a larger family. Have you ever used a meal kit delivery service? No, but there actually is one that I can't recall the name of that I'd like to try when I cook myself, especially getting started learning, but yeah, subscription fees. You see a lot of YouTubers get sponsored by them, if that rings a bell. Do you have any psychological issues rooted in events from your childhood? Possibly my fear of men, with my dad having been an alcoholic that had a 50/50 chance of being very angry when drunk. How organized are the files on your computer? Pretty organized, I'd say. I put stuff into folders. Would you date someone with braces? Yes? Do you ever rehearse conversations before you have them? Only always. Do you get angry at yourself or at others more often? Myself, for sure. When taking a cab, do you talk to the driver? I've never even taken a cab. Who or what greets you at the door every time you come home? Nobody, really. My cat is occasionally in the living room to see who's home, but not always because he's a lazy cat, ha ha. Do you ever chat about your favourite video games with your friends? Not really, no. I wish. Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No, bc I'm poor. Are you currently studying a language? If so, which one? No. Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Yeah. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I want some 'cuz I'm paranoid as hell. Are you waiting on anything right now? No. Have you ever been described as shy? Is it true? Oh, always. It's absolutely true. Name something you’re a complete sucker for? Baby animals, to name one thing. Do you remember when you first went on the internet? Nope. What is one way someone could completely put you off on a first date? Arrogance/over-confidence. What about a way someone could make you like them more on a first date? Make me genuinely laugh a lot, to name one way. Are you in love right now? Not yet. I love him with our decade of history, but I need more experience as a couple before I've got the confidence to say that. Do you wanna get married anytime soon? It wouldn't be smart to. I want to be in a strong relationship for quite a few years before I want that. Have you ever kissed someone in a band? No. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? No but oh my fucking god I wish!!!!!! Did your mom or dad ever put soap in your mouth? No, but Mom would threaten to. What was the last fruit you ate? Well, I had strawberry yogurt earlier today. Who was the last person to make you laugh? Girt. He is very, very good at that. Have you ever dated someone with more piercings than you? No. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Hell yeah man. Is there one night of your life you wish had never happened? I wish it hadn't happened the way it did. Do you have a close relationship with your sibling(s)? No. What was the last thing that you shared? Some watermelon Sour Patch Kids with my mom. Do you think people talk behind your back? You couldn't get me to believe my mom doesn't at least sometimes to my sisters even if you tried your absolute damnedest. In real life do you laugh like ‘haha,’ 'hehe’ or something else? It depends on what I'm laughing at/at what intensity. Do you have any unusual skills? Nah. Who’s your favourite person? I don't have a sole favorite person. I love many people in different ways for varying reasons. Are there any chores you actually enjoy doing? No. When did you last have an "Oh, I get it now!" moment? Watching Attack on Titan yesterday w/ Girt. Have your parents ever suspected something untrue about you? My mom HAD to have suspected I was doing something FAR worse than innocent meerkat RP to have borderline fucking traumatized me invading my privacy and forcing shit out of me regarding what I was always doing on the computer so secretively. Like I get it, she was a concerned mother, but I was a fucking WRECK because I found it so embarrassing. It was insulting that she didn't trust her well-behaved daughter. What do you think about video games? They're great for both the creators and consumers. They're wonderful expressions of creativity, and so much fun to experience as a player, delving into a new world and getting engrossed in the story. I could go onnnn and onnnnn about what video games mean to me. I've gone my whole life as a loyal gamer. Are there any forms of Art you personally find pointless? I really, really don't get a lot of abstract art that's worth fucking thousands, BUT, I absolutely disagree that they are without purpose. The artist created what they did for SOME reason. As a distraction, a method of expressing emotion, to convey an idea... Are you tired right now? I have been SO ridiculously tired today. Like it's unreal. I've taken I wanna say three naps and I'm still sleepy. What’s something you do a lot? Drink something. I'm not talking about alcohol; just in general, I ALWAYS need some kind of drink by me, and I go through drinks pretty quickly. Are you currently on any other websites? Yeah, I'm watching YouTube. Are you good at using Photoshop? I'm decent, I guess. Have you ever been told you naturally tilt your head a certain way? Yes, actually, at least by my mom, and she's right. My head tends to tilt VERY slightly to the right, and I can tell by how easy it is to bend my head that way as opposed to left. I'll feel a biiiit more strain.

[toenialls]

hi ! here’s a fic rec i made bc what better time to read fics than a quarantine. i’ve ordered them below from longest to shortest. :) 

these are all the fics i’ve read/re-read this quarantine

hiding place by alivingfire  @alivingfire (365k)

louis never wanted a soulmate, didn’t really care for the whole Bonding thing at all, really. enter harry styles, who’s wanted to be Bonded for as long as he could remember. with one fateful meeting in a x factor bathroom, louis gets a dagger on his arm and the realization that just because harry is his soulmate doesn’t mean it’s mutual.

from the x factor house to madison square garden, from the fountain studios stage to stadiums across the world, louis has to learn to love without losing himself completely, because someday his best friend will Bond to someone and replace louis as the center of his universe. meanwhile, harry begins to think that maybe fate doesn’t actually know what it’s doing after all, because his other half has clearly been right in front of him the whole time. all he has to do now is convince louis to give them a chance.

or, the canon compliant harry and louis love story from the very beginning, where the only difference is that the love between them is literally written on their skin, and there’s only so much they can hide.

relief next to me  by dolce_piccante @haydolce (333k)

au- what happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific craigslist post? fate, friendship, food, and maybe more. 

young & beautiful by velvetoscar @mizzwilde (227k)

louis, to his horror, attends an elitist university in which the name zayn malik means something, niall horan doesn’t stop talking, there are pianos everywhere, and harry styles, only son o a drug-addled, clinically insane ex-rocker, has a perfect smile and empty eyes 

now in a minute by thealmightyavocado @avocadolouie​ (150k)

13 feels like yesterday for many people, but for louis it actually was.more than anything in the world, louis tomlinson dreams of growing up. simply skipping over all the awkward embarrassing years of teenage existence and getting on with life, real life.

so when thirteen-year-old louis wakes up in the body of his thirty-year-old self, he expected his adult life to be picture perfect. and maybe it is. he has it all…or so it seems. 

except his favorite person and lifelong best mate, harry styles, is totally missing from the equation and louis doesn’t understand why. he has a lot of catching up to do and as adult life turns out to be more than what he bargained for, louis can’t help wondering why a life that seemed so perfect, feel so empty.

or, the 13 going on 30 au that should have been done years ago.

walk that mile by purpledaisy (149k)

harry stares at him, the line of his jaw standing out scarily. “i wanted to get the most out of this trip so i planned it carefully.” his voice is low and steady and somehow that’s worse than when he was yelling. “so far, you’ve put your sticky fingers on everything i’ve tried to do.”

"sticky fingers?“ louis repeats. offended. “are you saying it’s my fault you got stung by a bee? had you been alone you would have gotten halfway to the dotty diner and ran the car off the road because of an allergic reaction, so don’t go blaming me.”

"polk-a-dot drive in,“ harry spits before getting out of the car. he slams the door shut with a deafening reverb and louis rolls his eyes.

or, a route 66 au where falling in love was never part of the plan.

own the scars by crinkle-eyed-boo @crinkle-eyed-boo​ (144k)

“but i don’t belong here,” louis insists.

"why do you say that?“ james asks.

"these people are all drug addicts and alcoholics,” louis shrugs. something sparks in james’ eyes. “and you’re not?”

louis has never felt like he was good enough: for his stepdad, for his life-long best friends, for the life he’s supposed to want. after an accident that nearly costs him his life, louis’ parents send him to rehab where he’s forced to make his own decisions. on the long and difficult road to recovery, louis must confront the truths he;s been avoiding about his future, his relationships, and his sense of self-worth. because before he can love anyone else, he’s got to learn how to love himself first.

wear it like a crown by zarah5 @zarahdetand​ (141k)

au- as a part of a team of fixers hired to handle a gay scandal in buckingham palace, louis expects prince harry to be a lot of things –  most notable a royally spoilt brat. never mind that the very same prince harry used to star in quite a number of louis’ teenage fantasies.

unbelievers by isthatyoularry @isthatyoularry​ (136k)

it’s louis’ senior year, and he’s dead set on doing it right. however, along with his pair of cleats, a healthy dose of sarcasm and his ridiculous best friend, he’s also got a complicated family, a terrifying uncertain future, and a mortal enemy making his life that much worse. mortal enemies “with benefits” was not exactly the plan.

or, the one where louis and harry definitely aren’t friends, and football is everything

empty skies by green_feelings (134k)

for three years, harry has been running from his past. now, he is moving to london and pledges to fulfill only his dream – making it big in the music industry. not everyone has a place, though, and the competition is tough. as is his past catching up to him.

louis is part of the biggest boy band of the world, and getting there meant a lo to hard work, as well as sacrificing parts of his heart and soul. he’s still happy. maybe not as happy as he could be, but who is he to complain?

featuring perrie as harry’s adorable flatmate, niall as his manager, and liam and zayn as louis’ bandmates.

love is a rebellious bird by 100precentsassy @100percentsassy​ gloria_andrews @gloriaandrews​ (134k)

au. in which the boys still make music. louis is the concertmaster of the london symphony orchestra, harry is the new! and exciting! interim conductor / ex-cello prodigy who “has made mozart cool again” according to esquire magazine (louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and niall is the best. zayn and liam are around too.

don’t hum Bolero

wild love by  purpledaisy (130k)

“good,” julia says, clearly pleased to have them both uncomfortable and unable to look at each other. “now, i only have one more question before you can go. what are you planning to do when this experiment ruins your friendship?“

 "we said we’d stay friends no matter what,” harry says smoothly his chin lifting in defense.

"that was our one thing going into it,“ louis agrees. “stay friends no matter what.”

julia raises a perfectly manicured eyebrow, “that’s all fine and good. but i hope you realize your emotions aren’t going to realize this is an experiment in the end. if one of you falls for the other and finds out those feelings are not reciprocated you’re not going to be able to laugh it off as a social experiment. i’m not saying you shouldn’t do this, i’m just hoping you’ve considered all of the possible outcomes.”

or, two friends try to date each other for forty days. it’s supposed to be fun until emotions make it complicated

got the sunshine on my shoulders by hattalove @hattalove​ (124k)

five years ago, harry styles left his tiny home town to make it big as a recording artist, he didn’t have much regard for what he left behind– a life, a family, a husband, who woke up one morning to find him gone.

now, harry has everything he could possibly want. he’s rich, famous, and adored by everyone he meets, including his boyfriend. but when said boyfriend proposes to him, he’s forced to face the uncomfortable facts of his past– and louis, who’s spent the last five years returning every set of divorce papers harry sent him.

or, au based on the movie sweet home alabama.

california sold by isthatyoularry (123k)

notoriously closeted boyband member harry styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile louis, as his best friend, is back home in manchester living the typical life of a 24 year old. when harry needs louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

or, a fake-relationship au between two lifelong best friends.

the finish line (is a good place for us to start) by loadedgunn @loaded-gunn (122k)

louis tomlinson, one-time formula i world champion, is looking forward to the 2013 season, he’s got zayn in his garage and liam in his ear, he’s got cowell racing backing him despite former indiscretions, he’s got experience and the best race car out there. not to mention he’s the only racer they have, after oliver dropped out late last year.

it hasn’t occured to him that oliver would have to be replaced by february. that is, until he finds himself at a party celebrating harry styles leaving ferarri for cowell. harry hotshot styles, who broke a record last year and is probably looking to make a big splash. harry styles, who is talented and somewhat intimidating. harry styles, who left ferarri for reasons unknown and seems kind of lonely and harmless in person. lonely, harmless, hot as fuck. whatever.

the first thing louis does is take him under his wing. from there it’s nine months of slow-burning romance, the past catching up to them, turning into the human puppy pile that is ot5 and a lot of feelings until, of course, reaching the finish line.  

tired tired sea by mediawhore @mediawhorefics​ (113k)

as a b&b owner on the most remote of all the british isles, louis tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sol companions. until one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.

here in the afterglow by fondleeds @fondleeds​ (88k)

"if you hadn’t noticed, i don’t have many friends,” louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing his way into his throat.

harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes louis’ stomach shake. “i’ll be your friend.”

or, 1970’s au. in a tiny town in idaho, louis’ life changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

chasing empty spaces by domesticharry @domestic-harry​ (79k)

the year is 1934 and harry styles was to inherit the largest tobacco firm in the south. his parents have picked out the “perfect” girl for him to marry and he has the privilege of receiving the highest education possible. the problem was, harry hadn’t realized that he didn’t want nay part of the future until he met a mechanic named, louis tomlinson.

don’t want shelter by kingsofeverything @kingsofeverything​ (76k)

louis and harry have known each other all their lives. friends as children, they danced around each other as teenagers, and have spent the last twenty-five years either screaming at each other or not speaking at all. except for that one time ten years ago...

when hurricane nicole threatens the coast, they end up stuck together in their families' old vacation home that they begrudgingly co-own.

during the storm, and in the months after, they’re both forced to reevaluate their history and what they mean to each other

money moves by mmaree @zqua1d​ (74k)

"i’ll cut straight to the chase,“ liam announces. he leans forward, and zayn is met with steely eyes and steepled fingers. "i’m willing to offer you fifty grand if you’ll enter into a small…partnership with me. this would be in addition to your salary at payne innovations, of course. think of it as a bonus.”

zayn narrow his eyes. “what kind of partnership?”

"a fake engagement.“

"oh,” zayn says, relived it’s nothing illegal. “wait–what?”

“a fake engagement,” his boss repeats slowly, as if he’s convinced zayn’s comprehension skills are significantly lacking. “for six months. maybe less if i can pull it off sooner but don’t worry– you’ll be paid the full sum regardless of how long it takes.”

zayn’s suspicious, and he doesn’t even know why. there’s nothing to be suspicious of because, clearly, liam’s lost the plot. zayn’s having a conversation with a complete nutter. there’s no other reasonable explanation.

he clears his throat, searches liam’s eyes for a sign he’s taking the piss. “how long what takes?”

a smile plays at liam’s lips. “for me to be hired as the cto at titan technologies.”

to the ends of the earth by stylinsoncity @aliensingucci​ (68k)

during a yearlong hiatus, louis visits harry at his cabin in idaho, where long-buried feelings ignite like the fire keeping them warm.

lend me your hand by quickedween (63k)

society has long since decided that the soulmarks everyone is born with are entirely unfashionable. they’re just another way for people of a lower class to scam their way into marrying above their station.

lord louis tomlinson viscount loring, on the other hand, has always believed that he will find his soulmate one day. despite preparing for a match his whole life, he is entirely unprepared for the arrival of gemma styles’ younger brother.

harry styles has been travelling and away from society for over a year. coming back, he intends to spend time with his sister, and slowly reacquaint himself with life in town. he doesn’t need to wait around for a soulmark to determine how his life will play out.

small doses (loving you it’s explosive) by quickedween (40k)

louis tomlinson finds himself at vitality fitness to try and turn his life around after having left his cheating boyfriends of four years. the gym’s owner, liam, quickly becomes a good friend but his right hand man is rude and dismissive from the get-go.

louis and harry continue to clash all while harry is trying to move his way up the ranks in manchester’s amateur boxing circuit, but they can’t seem to stay away from each other.

learning to eat by photo41 (28k)

celebrity chef louis tomlinson has a problem, he’s opening his first restaurant in 9 week . and he has yet to hire a pastry chef- apparently people think he’s “standoffish” and “rude” and “quick to temper” . whatever. he ends u saddled with an annoying, happy-go-lucky rookie who also happens to be obnoxiously good looking. his tv presenter and pop star friends only add to the drama, and for fucks sake would everyone please stop quoting julia child?!

these roads we stumble down  by onewasturning @onewasturning​ (18k)

he’s completely drenched, not one milimetre of him covered in rain, and the old sheepskin cover over the seat is probably going to stink afterwards from the damp. but even with what seems to be a constant tremor shaking his body, brown hair plastered to his forehead, and a blue tinge to his skin, he’s still probably the most gorgeous person that harry has ever seen.

or, harry picks up a hitchhiker in oxford, and it’s a long ride to glasgow.

[yikesharringrove]

Hello! i don’t think i’ve given you any of my weird headcanons in a hot minute so here’s a new favorite! Steve with ADHD, at first nobody notices it, he gets along well enough as a young kid people just think he has an active imagination, when in real it y he just can’t pay attention. He’s in 5th grade when his teacher pulls him out of class and tells him he needs to start paying attention, Steve almost starts crying as he tries to explain to her that he just can’t, that it doesn’t work (pt.1)

(pt.2) so the teacher tells him to stay back after class that day, he totally forgets and almost ends up leaving just further probing her suspicions. She asks him to extol in what he means, he doesn’t know what to say, says that too many things are happening for him to pay attention in class, and that sometimes if he hears another teacher he’ll end up listening to that, or if he can look out a window he’ll get distracted, and she already knows what’s going on, calls his parents for a meeting

(pt.3) So his mom comes in, his dad “could make it” but that works out for steve because his mom actually gets him tested, and his test comes back positive so he has to take meds now and sure his grades aren’t the best but they are so much better and he can actually sit in class and focus, but randomly in his sophomore year tommy finds the pills and makes fun of him and he gets so embarrassed that he just stops taking them, and his grades drop bad and he can’t focus and he feels like shit 

(pt.4) he goes around like that for a while feeling lost and distracted but refusing to take his meds and be lame, he only starts taking them again after nancy breaks up with him because he needs to focus on something that isn’t the break up, but they aren’t working well which is to be expected he hasn’t taken them in more then a year, so he ends up totally freaking out and that’s how billy finds him, sitting on the bathroom floor with the WORST headache he’s ever had and he takes pity on him

(pt.5) billy and steve were kind of friends after the fight they had talked and worked things out, not super close but enough to not be so weird around each other anymore, so billy takes him home and makes sure he gets new meds and makes sure he keeps taking them and on days when he can tell steve is space and distracted and clearly forgot he’ll drive to his house and make him take them, and steve will bitch and moan but he actually loves that someone cares enough to make sure he’s ok

(optional pt.6) billy realizing he really likes steve when steve is talking about a special interest and getting super happy and he just can’t help but feel in love with him (is this totally based off my expletive with adhd? yes it is! is this the exact way my hug said she realized she love me? yes it is 🥰)

Hi! I have another one of your AMAZING headcanons in my drafts still, I’m working on it I’m sorry I’m the slowest writer ever.

So, I think I’ve said this, but ADHD makes A LOT of sense for Steve. I don’t have ADHD, so I’m sorry if this is in accurate, I did some research, didn’t want this to be like, bad.

Also, I put him on Ritalin for timing purposes and bc it can cause panic attacks. 🤷‍♀️ and his favorite animals are giraffes, goats and lobsters, 3 of my favorite animals.

Read on ao3

When Steve was little, he could never focus on something for longer than ten minutes.

He would be running through the house, leaving toys on the ground when he remembered a game he could play in another room. His nannies would roll their eyes, picking up after him.

When he got to school, it was more of the same. He would get distracted by every bird that he could see outside. He would be in the middle of class, the teacher would say something about giraffes and his mind would race about animals, would think about every country in Africa he could name, would think about whether or not Lithuania was in Africa.

His grades would slip, tests were a nightmare when he got caught up watching a bee buzzing near the window, only to realize he had answered three questions and only had eleven minutes left.

He was always a poor student, until fifth grade.

Mrs. Wilson had called him up after class, had noticed him zoning out and was about to chide him when she noticed the tears in his eyes.

“I just, I don’t know what happens, sometimes, my thoughts go too fast for my own brain and I can’t focus.” He was sniffling across from her.

“Steve, I’m going to have a chat with your parents. You’re not in trouble, but I think we can help you.” She smiled as she pat his shoulder, letting himself get collected before going to his next class.

She called his parents in at the end of the day, his mother sitting in the seat next to Steve, the principal joining them.

“I’ve noticed some trends in Steve’s school work and his presence in class. We think it may be in his best interest to test him for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. We feel that pinpointing the problem for him may be more helpful moving forward.

Mrs. Harrington agreed, waved her hand in a way that said she was bored of the conversation. Steve spent the whole next Saturday going through various tests, was wrung dry by the end of the day, but left with a clear diagnosis.

He began taking a low does of Ritalin, began focusing in class. His grades skyrocketed, getting the very first B+ he had ever gotten on his English essay.

He was okay until sophomore year.

He was an okay student, could focus in class, but not necessarily retain or understand the information.

But then Tommy found the pills, had laughed at him and called him retarded, the word that had haunted him his whole life, spat at him by the father that didn’t care about him.

So he flushed the pills, never refilled his prescription.

His grades slipped immediately. He wasn’t able to focus in class, had gone back to the days of staring out the window and getting confused about why it was called a square root.

He was constantly moving, would bounce his leg, would tap his pencil, would sometimes take the hall pass and just walk.

He knows taking his meds would fix the problem, but he had Nancy know, didn’t want her to know this weakness of his, this shameful secret.

But then he didn’t have Nancy, and his thoughts were racing, jumping from Nancy to demodog to Barb to Billy to his dad to Nancy to demodog to Barb to Billy to his dad to Nancy to-

He broke down February of senior year.

Graduation was soon as Steve’s grades were ass. He needed to focus on something that wasn’t Nancy, demodog, Barb, Billy, his dad. So he filled his old prescription, took the same does he had two years ago and went to school.

When he was first put on the meds, he was told panic attacks and anxiety could be a side effect. He had never experienced that before, but now, now he lived in constant anxiety, and with his Ritalin, he was a mess.

He had locked himself in the bathroom above the gym, the one nobody uses. He was on the floor, trying to ground himself against the wall, trying to think of anything other than Nancy, demodog, Barb, Billy, his dad, Nancy, demodog, Barb, Billy, his dad, Nancy, demodog, demodog, demodog, demodog-

“Pretty Boy?”

Billy was in front of him, eyebrows furrowed as he looked at Steve.

“B-Billy?”

“You okay? You’re kinda, kinda losin’ it.”

“I, I went off my meds for a, a few years, and I put myself back on them, and it’s, I, I know it’s lame, but they usually help and now-” he sobbed as Billy pulled him into his chest, soothing him softly.

“What meds?”

“Ritalin. It’s for, for ADHD.” Billy huffed a laugh.

“I fuckin’ knew it. The way you talk a mile a damn minute.” Steve’s heart sank. “And it’s not lame. Some peoples’ brains are just, wired different.”

Steve was starting to calm down, the anxiety shoving over into a raging headache. He groaned into Billy’s shoulder.

“What’s up?”

“Head hurts.”

“Want me to take you home.” Steve just nodded, his eyes squeezed shut. Billy drove him home, sat with him while Steve called his doctor, made an appointment for next weekend.

Steve had gotten a new medication, adjusted to his current state. The new meds were like magic, allowing Steve to focus when he needed, wouldn’t let him fall into hyperfocus on something that wasn’t productive. He finished senior year on a good note, with okay-enough grades to score his diploma.

He spent the summer at Scoops, working alongside Robin.

Billy came in every day. Would sit with him on Steve’s break. On the days Steve seemed more spaced, he would marrow his eyes, would say you didn’t take your meds today, would drive to Steve’s house to get them for him, would make sure he took them, would take drinks out of Steve’s hands at parties, would make sure he wouldn’t do anything to interfere with them, would dread the days he would find Steve nauseous from the meds.

Bonus:

Steve realized he was in love with Billy when he found out Billy starting keeping a small store of Steve’s meds in his car, would update them periodically to make sure they were safe, effective.

Billy realized he was in love with Steve when he was talking about every animal he could name. He showed Billy the small library of books he had bought for himself about animals, could explain the difference between kingdom, class, phylum, and genus. Was throwing out Latin names for his favorite animals, giraffa camelopardalis, capra aegagrus hircus, nephropidae. Billy couldn’t help himself, had just leaned over and kissed him, left Steve giggling as they made out.