#costco water cooler

[dietpeachicedtea]

what my stupid f@tass friend has done to me

by the way I'm not fatphobic, I just hate her guts

going to try to retell things as unbiasedly as I can manage, but she's a shitty person either way

I'm calling her V, read my other post if you want to know more about her

we're in theater, so we've spent a lot of time together just because of the fucked up rehearsals schedule since we did a musical

anyways, so towards the beginning of the year she was pretty much fine, she treated me and my friends with respect, was pretty normal(?)

and then her older sis moved out to go to college and her mom started hardcore babying her. she also became the leader of her young women's group at church (she's Mormon)

both these things boosted her ego a bunch, but then she had some fainting spell at the school farm because her dumbass didn't bring any water and suddenly she thinks she's the shit

around that time rehearsals went from 2 hours to 4-6 and she started being really mean.

it all started out with her just pushing me around and just touching me in general, she knows I hate physical touch and I told her to stop all the time but she never listened

she would be passive aggressive and just be really condescending to me, like if I didn't understand a movie reference or joke she would be like 'of course you wouldn't' or just cuss at me

obviously these are small things but they wore down at me

later she started getting more bold and would constantly berate and tell at me for little things, straight up call me stupid (to be fair I have the worst brain fog, but I am an honors student with straight A's, so..)

it got to a point where a senior girl I'm now friends with would literally drag me away from her and not let me sit by by her.

she would love to call me fatty, big back, and would say fee fi fo fun while I walked across the stage etc etc knowing I had body image issues and she thought it was hilarious

rehearsals week it was right before a show, my head hurt super bad and I knew I probably needed something sugary because my blood sugar was shit. she walks in with a whole fucking cooler with snacks to the brim. I ask her for one, she says no. and then proceeded to pass them out to a bunch of other kids. I ask again later and she says no again. finally she goes on stage for a scene I'm not in and I snatch a cookie, later she finds out and gets pissed and yells at me

for closing show when we went to McDonald's, she ordered 40 chicken nuggets and didn't share. she also made fun of me because my mom had called me about my grandparents getting into a car accident that night and I was crying about it.

for the past few weeks I've worked to distance myself from her because my gf told me I should. I've been friends with her since 6th grade but it was easier than I expected.

anyways she gets super upset over me not talking to her a lot for 2 weeks, and posts online about it, blah blah already made a post about that

anyways general things that shes done that just bother me in general

my gf offered her a Costco muffin and she was like 'no, I don't need that.. I'm on a diet.' and as soon as my gf looked away she grabbed and devoured it

she constantly fatshames her little brothers, despite being 3x bigger than them

complained about her costume 'shrinking' and asked if they were washed, nope, she just grew

I offered to give her some food and she literally started JUMPING UP AND DOWN??? I hadn't even eaten that day either but she took that as taking all of my food and literally devoured it (it was one of those nice gas station sandwiches)

absolutely refuses to drink diet soda or eat diet food/low fat food she needs to 'taste the sugar'

my other friend L offered her a sip of her freshly opened soda and she drank the whole thing

gets exhausted after literally walking a lap in pe

half-assed all the dances in our musical

during dance (school dance class, she wouldn't survive ballet) she checks herself out in the mirror the whole class. also she starts sweating profusely after the waltz? at worst you should get sore muscles

doesn't do any of her schoolwork and exclusively cheats off friends

is a fujoshi

doesn't brush her teeth has like nuclear bad breath

okay that's all I'm going to try to cut her off after break, and yes this is an 3dblr post kind of so I'm tagging it as such

that you for reading okay bye~🍑☕

[disease-danger-darkness-silence]

I'm.... So fucking weird about certain anachronisms.

Like. Bottled water (as we know of it today - you could get giant 5 gallon jugs of water) wasn't really a thing in the 80s in the US. They had mineral water but it was expensive. Rich people shit.

And then they had like. Designer brands. Evian and shit.

I distinctly remember my mom craving ice cold water without ice when she was pregnant with my sister in 1987. Usually you got gatoraid. If you were smart, you'd fill the Gatorade bottle up with water at the drinking fountain after you were done with it.

But they didn't sell cases of bottled water unless you were a store selling Evian or something. Hell, I don't think cases of water became a normal, non-Costco item in most grocers until after I graduated in 2003.

It's just a thing I loved through and vividly remember.

So if your fic takes place in the 80s, your character might have a thermos or a gatoraid bottle full of water, or they make have one of those Coleman cooler spigot things that you take camping, but it's unlikely they'd keep a "case of water"

Idk why that bugs me so much. It doesn't fucking matter.

[josiahiswrite]

Retro Release Was Radical!

Last Saturday we hosted a book launch at our home. We wanted to do something to celebrate the release of The Paper Boy (buy your copy here) and knew it needed to center on our friends who have supported us throughout the years.

With the novel being set in the 90s and our garage being itself kind or set in the 90s we decide to host the party there. I hanks my good buddy Paul, we have three Arcade 1Ups, Terminator 2, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Final Fight. The walls are full of art on the theme and l added a bit more and of course the toys and collectibles everywhere.

For lunch we had Pizza Hut and the snacks included Gushers and Fruit By the Foot (thanks Costco!). We also had Yoo-Hoo, a favorite of mine after my paper route. Even the coolers were labeled in a 90s way, with Captain Planet on the cooler for water (probably ironically). Zen: Intergalactic Ninja protected the trash, by the way I made feature length documentary about Zen.

The event was an all day celebration, from 10:00 AM to 7:00 PM with friends coming at their convenience. Frankly had everyone come at once, we could not have handled the rush of people and would not have been able to spend quality time with everyone, including friends we haven't seen in several years.

Activities included the afore mentioned games, Barbies (because of the Dream House was moved to a different place so it was now interesting), the Frozen Power Wheel, a small fan inflated fort, visiting neighbor dogs, and best of all a craft your own bookmark section. The kids made amazing stuff as did my friend and former roommate (twice over) Ian. Ian is a brilliant artist and created a super cool bookmark that is perfect for me and The Paper Boy.

Those are the details (well, the broad strokes) I'm humbled by my friends and neighbors, and the support they showed. It was beautiful. I'm grateful.

We were deeply hurt by someone we trusted, someone we love, with the purchase of this home. Strangely I held that against the house. Until the last few months. Saturday was a big part of why I love where we live. Why I know we were meant to be in this home, in this neighborhood at this time.

One final reminder, buy the book here. If you did, leave a review on Amazon. Also leave a review on Goodreads. Each of those help just as much, if not more than a purchase.

[violetsystems]

Did my taxes on a whim yesterday. Was expensive but not mind numbingly so. First time in a while where I've owed the government money. Also the first time I've ever had both my state and federal accepted in the same day. Last year I had to mail them and ended up handing them to a mail carrier since the mailbox outside the post office was mysteriously locked. Somewhat shady know. So whatever relief comes with filing electronically I accept as more responsive than the rest of society right now. If that is somehow what has been holding up the job process I'd rather not prolong the pain. I doubt that's it though. If the government can accept your money in a day but your entire friend network pretends you disappeared over a period of three years? That should say something if nothing at all. I don't think America is perfect at all. But I also don't believe tearing it all down with some secret revolutions in the streets are going to help it either. I saw the trailer for Alex Garland's "Civil War." I generally like his stuff but it seems way over the top and sanctimonious. Lines like "They kill journalists on site in the capitol." Journalists are a privileged class in America. You could be an amazing writer and they'd hire ChatGPT to speak your opinion for you before writing about your personal struggle. Everyone is pretty much invisible out here surrounded by a performative tailspin of social media, constant news feeds, and water cooler socialism. I found an abandoned amigo cart for disabled people under the viaduct on my way to the Costco yesterday. I told two people in the store about it. Headed to the membership counter where I incidentally applied for a job a bit ago. They seemed receptive but dismissal about it. Sometimes I'll bring carts back from the wastelands to them but this was a little much. Settled for moving it onto the sidewalk on the way back instead of the middle of the street. I also shoveled some freak snow earlier and paid rent. I'm not a person who generally likes to see things go ignored. I'm also so used to being ignored in mainstream society that it doesn't really anger me all that much anymore. Or at least I'm working on that anger. It's just kind of sad. Sad that you can see it collapsing before you eyes and everybody is too overwhelmed to lend a helping hand to do something about it. There's still signs of magic in the air. And I don't ever want to be the one to pass up a problem that I could possibly solve. That's why I filed my taxes. Just to make sure the problem wasn't me. Even if I'm not exactly perfect. Neither is America. This Tekken 2 shirt however...

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Heya friendo, I'm gonna text you about this for more You [TM] specific advice, but for the masses who may also be suffering, there are a few things that need attention when you're trying to moderate temperature in heat domes:

1) Temperature

Dealing with temperature is less about trying to actively cool you're environment once it has become hot, and more about allowing your environment to settle into a comfortable "room temperature", and then keep it from heating back up from that set point.

One of the easiest ways to do this is to keep your windows open overnight when the temperature is the lowest (probably no more than hour before sunset, but most likely later than sunset by 60-90min), and shut them again before the day starts to heat past your preferred set point (likely no more than an hour or two after dawn). Some people will also obtain heavy blackout curtains to hang shut over windows and other light/heat sources during the hot hours of the day, to keep the indoor air from heating up.

One of the disadvantages northeasterners are going to have is that fewer andnfewer of yalls homes and buildings are made of brick, clay, adobe, etc these days. These are materials that provide some degree of temperature regulation as well, maintaining a lower temp floor and a slowed heating timeline.

Another way to deal with this is to manage your core temperature. Remember heat is a comparison between our core temperature and the world outside our body. We don't want our bodies to be too much cooler, because that will make the experience of heat worse, however there is also usually a clear core temperature threshhold at which someone may find they begin to experience physical distress from overheating. Figuring out where the comfortable range lies for you and cooling your core temperature slightly (e.g. by hopping into a cold shower/body of water) before it hits or exceeds your body's threshhold of comfort can help you maintain physiological homeostasis even as the heat becomes more intense. However, in managing your core temperature, you're going to rapidly run into a need to regulate humidity/environmental moisture content in order to be successful.

2) Humidity

Unquestionably, your best option will be to get a unit that can add or remove moisture content from the air as needed to maintain a comfortable humidity (e.g. dehumidifer/humidifer set). However these are expensive and can use a lot of power.

So if those are not options (and trust me, they're ALWAYS an option eventually because the difference in outcome is VAST) you can try mechanical humidity control. This is usually going to look like mixing sand, baking soda, and/or rock salt into little air conditioning filters over/around a fan. The fan pulls the air through the filter, which absorbs some moisture, and the filter substrates get changed out when they can't absorb anything more. How much you use is decided by how much moisture you're trying to remove.

3) Airflow

Stale air sucks, especially in the heat. The broader and more dynamic your air currents are, the less uncomfortable heat and humidity will feel. This is why ceiling fans are often preferrable to stand fans, they are able to move more air in a larger space. Fans are actually rated around how much movement they can make in a given cubic air capacity. So making sure the fans you have are actually rated for the amount of air they have to move, and that there are as few barriers to interconnected airflow currents across rooms as possible can be important.

I really like bladeless fans, because I find (anecdotally) they are better at moving large amounts of air in weirdly shaped spaces. We had an old colonial saltbox house once where someone had carved passthroughs into the walls to make a pseudo open concept space. It made the airflow patterns real wonky and the ceiling was too low to add a fan to, so we snagged a costco bladeless rotating fan with mild heating and cooling capacity to make small adjustments in the temperature of moving air (this also impacts the air currents, allowing for a more varied and complex air movement process due to thermodynamic changes in flow) and honestly we really didn't need much else except on the hottest of days.

It's a lot of trial and error, but once you rig up a system it's actually really easy to fine tune and maintain.

Hey uh. Southerners. Any advice re: heat that doesn't involve me peeling all of my skin off?

[fruitgoat]

I was kinda annoyed this morning when my dad said it would be a good day to rearrange the freezer. (The big deep freeze in the barn, not the ones in either house.) I agreed because I wanted to be the one that knew where everything was. I do 90% of the cooking and 80% of the grocery shopping, but my parents are prone to doing a Costco Run while I'm at work. And it was raining so I didn't want to do Outdoor Work. I didn't start until after 3:00pm because I didn't want to actually do it. (I wanted the task to be done, and I wanted do it myself, I just didn't want to actually DO IT. You know what I mean.) Pretty much as soon as I started filling coolers, I knew fully defrosting the freezer was happening. It's now barely 5:30pm. I'm totally done. When my mom defrosts the freezer it takes at least four hours. It's craftsmanship. Whatever. I don't stand for that kind of nonsense. I go in hard and I go in messy and I don't give a shit how much water gets on the floor. (There is a full load of towels in the washing machine as we speak/type.) But we can all cross "defrosting the freezer" off the To Do List. It's officially on the To Done List.

[tightwadspoonies]

The Thrill of a $5 Rotisserie Chicken

Few things allow you to feel the potential like a $5-7 pre-rotisserie’d chicken from a fancy, otherwise expensive grocery store like Costco or Meijer or Walmart or Giant Eagle.

First, you didn’t have to cook it yourself (and, generally, for some reason it’s significantly cheaper to buy your bird pre-rotisserie’d than buying the raw bird and cooking it), and second, well, it’s like 4 entire pounds of the expensive ingredient in basically any recipe- and you didn’t even have to run the risk of accidentally messing it up with the wrong seasoning or by forgetting it was in the oven. 

But if you’re like me, $5 is the absolute max you would ever think of spending on any single grocery item (plus, if you think about it, that’s an entire animal’s entire life in that chicken carrier)- so how to justify it?

By getting absolutely every possible single scrap of nutrient and calorie from this former wad of feathers. That’s how.

Today I’ll take you through the process of getting your (7-9) meals’ worth out of that $5 bird in 4 easy steps:

Step 1: Acquire the Bird

Figure out which stores in your area offer the least expensive rotisserie chickens. In many places this will be somewhere between $5-7. It’s worth seeing if they’re even less expensive when purchased day-old from the deli cooler instead of on the warmer, though this is rarer than you’d think. It might be worth it to you to get a biweekly/monthly chicken at a place you don’t normally shop if you, like me, usually shop at grocery stores without such a fine prepared food section.

Step 2:  Divide and Conquer

Resist the urge to eat as-is. You’re on a mission here.

While the chicken is still warm, pick all the meat from the bones. Picking meat from a warm chicken will make the meat come off the bones more easily and net you more meat for less work.

Place the carcass (as well as skin, tendons, drippings, and anything that isn’t meat) in a plastic bag or large container and put it in your freezer for later.

Shred the picked meat and divide into about 6 servings. It may not look like a lot of meat per serving, but many recipes don’t need a lot of meat to make them tasty.

Freeze these in separate containers (baggies are fine, or plastic/glass containers) so you’ll have a convenient, pre-cooked, pre-portioned source of meat for recipes.

Step 3: So You’ve Got Some Conveniently Portioned Chicken...

Find some cool recipes that use chicken. They don’t have to be difficult or time-intensive- find ones that use (or can be amended to use) about 1/6th of a rotisserie chicken. Keep in mind that many recipes are not specific to a particular type of meat/protein, and pre-cooked chicken works for a lot of them.

For example:

Warm shredded chicken on salad greens

Chicken salad (chop carrots, onions, and celery, toss with thawed chicken and dressing, serve on toast)

Chicken enchiladas

Chicken and bean tacos

Chicken bacon ranch casserole

Chicken pasta salad

BBQ chicken pizza

Chicken noodle soup, stew, or white chicken chili

Chicken stir-fry

Chicken Sloppy Joes (chop chicken small and pad out with veggies like finely diced or shredded carrots, potato, sweet potato, onions, green pepper, cauliflower, etc...)

Step 4: So You’ve Got a Chicken Carcass in Your Freezer...

Remember that large container or storage bag with the chicken bones, etc... in it? Well, you know how every time you cut up an onion or carrot, or celery, or other veg there’s bits you don’t eat (onion skin and ends, carrot tops and greens, celery butts, radish greens, etc...*)? Throw those into that bag/container as you go.

Once the container/bag is full of chicken and vegetable scraps, you’re ready to make some broth/stock. Broth and stock helps you get everything else out of the food parts you’d normally throw away.

Put all the scraps from your bag/container into a large pot and fill with water. Add some herbs/spices of your choice (recommend rosemary, bay leaf, basil, parsley, pepper, salt or bouillon if you would like, and garlic (fresh or granulated)) and a few tablespoons of vinegar (any kind you have is fine- it’s just to put a little acid in there to get some extra minerals out of the bones).

Turn on the stove until just boiling and simmer for several hours. Alternatively, you can put this in an electric pressure cooker (like an instapot) for 1-2 hours or a slow-cooker for 4-8 hours.

Once everything has boiled long enough that the tendons are clear and gooey (or when you’re starting to get anxious about the gas/electric bill), pour everything through a strainer set over a large bowl.

What comes out the other side is your stock. Pour into containers and freeze for later. This can be used for a nice soup base, instead of water when making rice or pasta, or you can drink a mug of it plain. It’s particularly great for getting calories, salt, vitamins and minerals in when sick- you can hide a surprising amount of butter, lard, coconut oil, or other fat in a mug of broth!

*I recommend not using bits from cruciferous veg like broccoli, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, etc... It will be overpowering flavor-wise and not in a good way.

[saruvanthewhite]

I didn’t ask for this lifestyle; The Van-lifestyle. People assume because I live this way now, for some reason they cannot explain to me, that I have chosen this over a house with property. One makes the best choice out of what is offered them. I was offered the opportunity to either sleep under bridges, in a tent with no other way out; or to utilize what skills I learned during childhood family vacations.

Dad would carefully pack one of his vans, usually the Dodge (& later years) the Chevy; both 12-passenger models, with everything six people needed for a month on the road. We slept, ate, and played in that van from Virginia to Washington & all the places in between. Sometimes we stopped for a motel. Rarely. Most often, he & mom switched off through the night. By morning, dad was willing to let my older sister, then me, then my brother take over driving duties. As years passed, my brother & I took over most all of the driving.

Since age fourteen, I had been driving something; whether it was in a parking lot for practice or on the open interstate system. Under mom or dad’s watchful eyes naturally. By the time I took my driver’s test at seventeen, I had helped drive across the country three times; later had driven in & around Washington DC, Baltimore, New York, Chicago, St Louis, Denver, Salt Lake City, San Francisco, LA, & Spokane. Major cities didn’t bother me. But the open road was where I found the best version of myself.

So when I was faced with homelessness, I did what seemed most natural; I sought out a van. A temporary solution was to use a beat up, nearly abandoned work truck. For a few months, a Chevrolet Astro was ‘home’. I took showers at a shelter every couple of days, used the work facilities for everything else…until I couldn’t. Work changed their minds on the van & limited me to work use only. So the hunt began again. Enter, Saruvan. U-96, informally. Because living in a van is roughly (pun intended) like living aboard an early-20th century submarine; One lives atop food stores, clothing, tools, & other belongings.

It’s taken two years to amass the tools & materials needed to have a decently comfortable life. But like the joke earlier, it’s rough at times. For example, I have an on-board resource for showering, a bucket for necessary room, & an icebox. But the shower has no grey water return & I need to be parked somewhere private or partially out of sight to pop it out & set it up. The bucket is a pain to get out & deploy & the van stinks for a short period after. The icebox is a glorified cooler that must be pumped dry of melted ice & replenished if food is to be kept. So there are some trade offs. There’s no build so to speak. So no cabinets, drawers, counter space or clever storage solutions; The interior is literally just plastic bins with a bed on top & other stuff in Costco cardboard trays that move around & eventually wear out.

But it’s mine. My own. My van is my hide out when anxiety runs high. It is a safe space to get away from humanity when I need to do so. The van can be an adventure rig or simply a warm place to sleep. It’s not my first choice. I have children I’m unable to house who I terribly miss for not seeing them during the week. THEY need me to have a home more than I do. THEY need space to lay down. THEY need space to dine with their father. THEY need a space of their own when we’re together. THEY need a play space that’s AT home. My van cannot be a surrogate home for them. That is the most troublesome & painful part of #vanlife for me.

Until I’m able to afford a better life, this is what has been presented to me.

So, wrapping up, I am comfortable in my van. Some would not be. It’s those folk who are often the ones who look down on my existence & don’t think twice about making their distaste for it known. It’s for them I write. Maybe also my kids. So they can know more about me later. Maybe this will be part of the larger tale of me. Who knows? All I know is that if I don’t write this down when I’m thinking or ruminating about it, details go missing. Soon enough, I won’t have a true story to tell.

So there. U-96 Saruvan, Capitan Leutnant Valentine commanding, & his beginnings as a van pilot.

[sincerelynamkook]

Hennessy (01)

Latina Y/N x Jungkook

Genre: Angst, Fluff 

Warnings: alcohol/drunken behavior (drink responsibly friends), mentions of smoking, sexual tension 

Word Count: 2.6k

Playlist: “Yo Perreo Sola” by Bad Bunny // “Frikitona” by Plan B // “Te Extrano” by Xtreme // “Imitadora” by Romeo Santos”

Series Masterlist

“You ready?” I roll my eyes with a pout instead of verbally answering my best friend’s question. I’m still lowkey butthurt she not only forced me to get up from my umpteenth day in bed, but also forced me to get dressed and put on makeup. I’m barely into my 30th day of getting over a breakup, I had plans to dive deep into the pits of my depression and despair for another month or two. 

“Stop being a brat and get over it. It’s not like you were in love with the guy.” Britt sasses back.

“Maybe so. But I really gave that fucker 6 months of my life thinking he would eventually be the one only for him to go out and cheat on me...let me be depressed, damn bro.” 

“Dude, c'mon. Tony said this would be the party of the year and you know how Latinos love to throw a party.” She grabs my hand and drags me up the driveway to the front door. I could hear the loud blast of Merengue music all the way from where we parked down the street. Serves us right for being 2 hours late to this damn party. But we were running on Latino time. 

“Bitch did you forget I’m Latina?” I ask her. Of course I know what Latin parties are like. 

“Really? You sure ain’t acting like the bad bitch Latina I know you are.” 

“I-...whatever.” I mumble, not having a retort. 

She giggles and opens the front door, coming fact to face with Jimin who has the brightest smile on his face. “Finally bitches! I’ve been waiting for y’all for over an hour.” 

Music, laughter, singing, mixed with conversations from every direction bombard my ears. Jimin drags Britt and me to the back of the house, bee-lining straight to the kitchen counter that's covered in alcoholic beverages. He goes around to stand next to Tony who’s behind the counter, dressed in an all black fit, gold chain around his neck, nose pierced with a stud and a septum, and small black rectangular framed glasses perched on his nose. 

“What, you on your Bad Bunny phase or something?” I ask him as Jimin hands me a cranberry vodka, knowing it’s my favorite drink. 

With a smile, he sticks his tongue out and places his pinky fingers near his glasses doing the iconic Bad Bunny pose, “You already know babyyyy,” he says garnering a laugh from me. “I made sure to stock up on cranberry and vodka for you babe. Britt warned me so we on that ‘Bring Y/N back to life’ gang shit tonight.”

“Oh god,” I grimace. When Britt and Tony get together on their “missions” there is no hope for us. “Well you got food around here? I ain’t getting shitfaced on an empty stomach.”

“This ain’t the first time at the rodeo, Y/N.” Hoseok says as he appears behind Tony with a platter of appetizers on a plate for me. “We take care of our favorite girls around here, Y/N, c'mon now, especially when you're my girlfriend’s best friend” he winks at Britt and she giggles. Gross. 

“My hero.” I respond sarcastically, inspecting the chips and guac. With a raise of a brow I ask, “This better be some legit guac boys, not that store bought kind y’all got that one time at Costco.”

“Omg get over it! I didn’t realize it was expired!” Jin yells from behind me. He gives Britt a kiss on the cheek before pinching my arm. I stick my tongue out before giving him a genuine smile. “I wasn’t even the one who bought it. It was Jimin!” 

Jimin giggles, “Well that’s what y’all get for sending me grocery shopping when I’m hungover.”

“I was sick for days! I almost died!” I yell back. Not gona lie, this guac is hella good. “Dude, who made this guac. It’s legit, I’ll give you that.”

“I asked my sister to make some for us. She also made some tamales for you and Britt, you know she loves y'all more than me.” Tony says as he pours me another drink. Tears start to well in my eyes, food being the only thing that weakens my tough exterior. 

“Tony...tell your sister to divorce Jackson and marry me. I’ll treat her better!” I exclaim making the group laugh. 

“Y’all lets move this party to the den.” Hoseok says, grabbing Britt’s hand and leading us to the next room, away from the bigger crowd. 

We each take our usual seats. Being a tight knit group since our college days, we have our traditions, one being movie night at Tony’s every weekend, thus leading us to have our own unofficial assigned seats. 

The music can still be heard from the den, albeit not as loud as it was in the main rooms. 

“So we getting Y/N shitfaced tonight right?” Jimin asks with a smirk in my direction. 

“Hell yeah. I can’t believe you skipped out on movie nights this whole month.” Jin responds with a shake of his head. “I thought we were family.”

I roll my eyes at his dramatics. “Whatever. Y’all know how I get when I’m in my moods.”

Hoseok stands and comes around the couch to hug me from behind. “I know you’re not a hugger but accept this quick hug and let go of your sadness friend.”

 I giggle and hold back my witty remark, knowing his heart is in the right place. “Thanks Hobi. Give me a few more drinks and I’ll be begging for your hugs.”

He jumps at that and runs to the kitchen yelling, “You don’t have to tell me twice!!” Brittany gets up and follows him, muttering something about going to make sure he doesn’t get dragged into dancing. 

“But in all seriousness, Y/N, are you okay?” Jin asks next to me. 

“Not gona lie, I’m hurt because y’all know how I feel about cheating. But it is what it is right?” I exhale and gulp down my third cup of cranberry vodka. 

“You’ll be okay babe, c'mon lets go get more drinks.” Jimin takes my hands and drags me out the den, just as Yoongi and Joonie were walking into the den. 

“Hey fuckers. I brought the Henny!” Yoongi announces with a smirk. At the sound of Henny I turn around and walk back into the den, grabbing the Hennessy bottle from Yoongi’s grasp and opening it to pour myself some shots. 

“Oh so that’s what we doing huh?” He smirks and I just wink at him raising my shot glass at him. 

“The night is young my friend.” I say as I raise up my second shot in a toast. Joon takes the bottle from me and pours me another one, clinking his own glass with mine. 

“Let’s get this bread!” he says to which I grimace and retort back, “Grandpa, don’t ever say that again.” He chuckles with a roll of his eyes and downs his shot. 

The heat from the alcohol going down my throat and coursing throughout my body has me removing my jacket. Jin whistles saying “aight mami, you sure you're getting over a break up?”

Giggling, I look over at him to see him checking me out. I’m donned in black ripped skinny jeans, black platform Jadon docs, and a green satin tank top; meaning my tattoo covered arm is out on display. “Boy please, be quiet before you get me in trouble with Tree. Where is she anyway?”

“She had to work tonight. She’s gonna come after her shift which should be soon.” He says checking the time on his phone. 

Another shot is placed in my hand by Jimin, “bottoms up bitch!”

I down my shot just as I hear the sounds of “Yo Perreo Sola” by Bad Bunny start to play. “Oh shit! This my song!!!” I yell, clearly feeling the effect of the alcohol contents fueling my body. I grab Jimin’s hand and drag him over to the crowd dancing in the large living room. 

Jimin positions himself behind me, holding my waist as we start to dance to the song. We grind up on each other, perreando like the song describes, screaming the chorus together with the crowd. I turn around to face him and push him backwards, ready to perrear sola. The other girls around me start to hype me up and start to grind against me. We put on quite the show but the crowd goes even wilder when the song switches to “Frikitona” by Plan B. Jin dances up next to me with Tree on his arm and hands me two more shots, “double fist time babyyy” he yells over the crowd. I take the shots all the while I’m dancing, I don’t even notice when the two empty glasses are replaced with new full ones by Jimin, knowing it's him with the pink hair on his head, but I down those two. I vaguely notice Hoseok and Brittany dancing not too far from me, practically making love on the dance floor. Wouldn’t surprise me if they disappeared upstairs real soon. The reggaetón bops keep going and Jimin and I keep dancing amidst the crowd. Whoever picked this mix deserves a reward because it got all the throwbacks. I smile big when I hear Don Omar’s “Dile.”

I’m sweating, pushing my hair back from my face every few seconds, regretting not bringing a scrunchie with me to put it in a bun. The reggaetón mix fades off into a bachata mix with “Te Extrano” by Xtreme being the first song to play. Not wanting to go back into my feels, I decide to take this time to grab water and sober a bit. Now that I’ve stopped dancing I realize just how drunk I really am. I lean against the counter and grab a cool water bottle from the cooler, snickering when I see Yoongi making out with some girl across the kitchen. 

The bachata mix turns sensual, as “Sobredosis” by Romeo Santos starts to play. I sway softly in my spot against the counter, singing along to the song as I try hard to sober up. 

I hear Tony yell a “Look who finally made it” and the crowd starts to shout their greetings at whoever just walked in. I turn around to see what the commotion is all about and see Jungkook walking in holding two bottles of Hennessy, one in each hand.

“What the fuck” I whisper softly, but not soft enough when I hear Taehyung reply, “yeah, he’s back.”

“Whoa when did you get here TaeTae? And when you say ‘he’s back’ you mean cause of summer break right?” I ask without turning back around to look at him, my attention at one man and one man only. 

“I got here a while ago with Janet, we were outside smoking though.” Ahh that makes sense. “And no, he’s back for good. He graduated last week.” He says with a smirk in my direction. 

My eyes go wide, muttering a soft, “fuck.” I turn around to face the kitchen, hands in my hair in exasperation. How did he graduate already? He’s like three years younger than me! I close my eyes and focus on doing the math only to realize that he in fact was graduating college this year. Shit. 

Tae pats my back, “what’s got your panties in a twist love? It’s not like you fucked the guy on his 21st birthday and never spoke to him again even though he’s one of your best friend’s, Yoongi’s to be exact, younger brother.”

I open my eyes and face Tae. He yells an exaggerated ‘OW!” when I twist his nipple. 

“Kim Taehyung what the fuck?! I told you never to mention that again.” I exhale and make the decision to continue my “getting shitfaced” mission. Pouring a line of shots, I start to take them one after the other until Tae decides to take the last 3 himself earning a “fuck you” from me. 

I lean against the counter, facing the living room only to see Jungkook walking towards me. I roll my eyes at him when I see his smirk directed at me. He walks up next to me and opens the bottle of Hennessy, not saying a word. Taehyung chuckles and leaves with a “have fun lovebirds.” Jungkook pours two shots and hands me one. But he doesn’t just give it to me like any decent person would, no way, he has the audacity to bring the shot glass to my lips , softly nudging my lips open with it to make me drink. Not one to back down from a challenge, I hold his hand holding the shot glass against me and throw my head back to down it. His big brown eyes, those that were so full of innocence, are now full of lust and focused on my lips. I don’t miss the way they subtly move down to look at my neck when I swallow the alcohol, or the way his hand still near my lips slightly twitches when my tongue flicks out to lick my bottom lip, making sure I take every drop of alcohol he gave me. 

He leans closer to me, his scent which now surrounds me making me even drunker. My hands go up to his chest instinctively, as if I had the willpower to actually shove him away. I could feel his heart beating faster against my hands, his pecks feeling tight...woah when did that happen? 

I feel, rather than see, his face lean closer to my ear where he softly whispers, “wana show me what else you can swallow?” His deep melodic voice has me closing my eyes and gulping in a millisecond, feeling a rush of wetness pool at my core.  

I open my eyes, reminding myself who I’m talking to and laugh the nerves away. I shove him back, needing some room to breathe and he chuckles at my antics. 

The playlist starts to play “Imitadora” by Romeo Santos and I can feel a change in the atmosphere. Jungkook takes a step closer to me, arm going around me to softly push me against him. He leans close to my ear again to whisper “dance with me” but I’m too high off his scent and to the beat of his heart that’s vibrating against where my hands rest on his chest to answer. He takes it as a yes and walks us backwards to the center of the makeshift dance floor. 

I bring myself back to the present and raise an eyebrow at him, “You sure you can keep up Korean boy?” I feel his chest softly vibrate from his chuckle.

“I have a few tricks up my sleeve preciosa” he answers with a smirk as he twirls me around. I swoon at his honey like voice calling me “preciosa,” with the subtle hint of his accent. But I feel my pussy clench when he dances bachata like a Latin born man. 

My heart feels like it’s about to burst out of my chest when he starts singing the chorus of the song in perfect Spanish close to my ear. Hitting every note like if he was Romeo Santos. 

He must've heard my swift intake of breath by the way he smiles. A smile I feel on my neck as he leans even closer to me to drop a kiss at my nape, sealing it with a lick. 

The song comes to an end, quickly transitioning to a more up tempo bachata song. Jungkook drops another kiss on my neck and whispers “wana see what other tricks I got?”

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Ain’t Sayin’ She’s a Gold Digger: Part 4

Pairings: Sugar Daddy!Negan x Sugar Baby!Reader

Warnings: Sugar baby relationship, swearing

Word Count: 7,963

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the four months between getting the tickets, and heading to Burning Man, Jeff added seventeen countries and almost double that in states to deal with hotels that were going through the summer with bad ratings and numbers to your travel list. And while he worked, you worked with your new, temporary Burning Man assistant and your friends to organize everything you would need. It was chosen by the group, that now included Matt and Stacy, to join Kenzie and Stacy’s usual camp, which was actually a collection of make your own camps, to get the full Burner experience, and despite the fact that you felt like you were going crazy with Kenzie, who was the other natural organizer in the group, the trip came up before you knew it.

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.” Jeff laughed as he finally drove his RV into Black Rock City behind the 26 foot U Haul filled with your contribution to camp- thousands of dollars worth of water, Gatorade, mini and regular sized liquor bottles, beer, snacks, granola and power bars, and a thrift store find stand up piano, that Matt was driving for you.

“Oh, it’ll be fun.” You giggled as you waved at someone Kenzie had been yelling out the U Haul window at.

“Did you forget, I’m an old man, sweetheart?” He asked with a glance over at you before turning to the right to head down to where your camp, Island Time was located.

“Did you forget that we decided you are seasoned, not old?” Kara asked as she held two of six boxes of decorations in place on the dinning room table.

“We definitely agreed on seasoned, your Majesty.” Dana called out from the back bedroom, where she was responsible for keeping the dozen solar powered coolers of ice in place. Your boyfriend groaned as your smile grew even more.

“Oh, I’m never going to let you live this down.” You giggled as you reached over and pat his thigh.

“Yea, and you’re just making me wanna call an Uber.”

“They have an airport!” Chelsea called out as she sat up from the couch, where she was holding a rope that connected the three massive shade tents, also named Costco Barns, that would make up your themed camp.

“Don’t encourage him.” You scolded as you turned in your seat to look back at her. “He will leave.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt it.” She laughed as she sat up completely, as Jeff parked the RV on the left side of your camp site, and beside the U Haul that would turn into a ‘fishing pond’ for all the snacks it held. “Alright, let’s get unpacked.” You pat Jeff’s thigh once more as the girls in the back got out to start setting up.

“Just let go, sweetheart.” You told him as he set the emergency brake. “You are allowed to take a vacation and the company won’t crumble in your absence.”

“You are the only person I would agree to this for.” He said honestly as he dropped the keys in his cup holder and picked up your hand. “I love you, (Y/N). I need you to know that.”

“I love you, too, Jeff. So, so much.”

“Are you two gunna help, or are you just gunna sit there all day?” Dana asked as she grabbed one of the decorations boxes to carry out. You muttered ‘shut up’ and gave Jeff a chaste kiss before getting out to begin the long day of work. Kate, who was the mastermind behind your camp’s theme, started directing instantly, transforming the square of desert into a tropical wonderland. 

Your group had thought of everything, from a had painted directional sign that pointed fellow Burners to coffee, the Playa, the Deep Playa, City Center, the bathrooms, and of course, the Burning Man center piece and The Temple, to a bunch of tropical themed pool rafts to be used by whomever as seats. You had a blue tarp on the ground and the dyed canvas covers above you that Chelsea had painted to look like waves, and dozens of starfish, jellyfish, and fish toys zip tied anywhere they could go so they didn’t become missiles in a dust storm. 

There were four fishing poles laid against the U Haul, which had giant handmade banners on each side to promote your camp, and they were set up for ‘fishing’ with baskets on the end of the 100 pound test line that Jeff swore would hold up for what you needed it to. And the piece de le resistance of your camp was an inflatable palm tree cooler, that would have ice cold drinks for anyone passing by that needed one, that would sit directly in front of the piano you had brought to play as yet another contribution to the Burning Man community.

“It’s perfect.” Dana said with a proud smile as you on Jeff’s shoulders, and Chelsea on Matt’s strung up the last strings of blue lights in the canopy.

“I would hope so.” Kate said with a nod. “I busted my ass to figure out this design.”

“Hey! Beach girls!” A guy called out as he rode by your camp on his bike. “Nice idea!” You all yelled thanks as Jeff kneeled down so you could climb off.

“Damn, it’s hot.” He sighed as he sat down on one of the couple chairs you had brought. You nodded in agreement and used your already dust covered shirt to wipe off your face.

“I need a shower.”

“Get used to being dirty.” Kenzie said as she just took off her shirt and tossed it on a chair on her way over to grab a the reusable water bottle with her name on it so she could fill it up from the sink on the outside of the RV.

“So are we getting ready to open here or what?” Matt asked as he helped Chelsea dump ice from one of the solar power coolers into the palm tree cooler.

“Yea, someone throw up the fishing sign.” You said as you two pulled off your shirt and headed inside to get dressed. “I’ll go get ready.”

——

“Oh, do you know ‘Piano Man’?” A girl asked as she skipped up to your piano with a champagne slushy from a few camps down. You glanced up at her and nodded as you set down your mermaid patterned water bottle, that was currently filled with rum and coke and adjusted your shell patterned bikini top.

“I wouldn’t be a piano playing mermaid if I didn’t!” You cried as your fingers moved from playing a random melody to the newest request. You started playing over the cheers of a man, who had gotten a mini bottle of Jäger and a bag of Goldfish in his fishing pole bucket, as the girl in front of you cheered and started singing with you, and the group that had collected in your tent at some point since the sun went down. You glanced over at Jeff, who had decided months ago that he was going to be on whatever shift you were on, and gave him a slightly knowing smile, since his only job was to make sure ice was being made in the ice genies you had filling your freezer, and that the ice that was melting was draining into a new one to make more ice as needed. 

He’d spent most of his evening simply watching you, and holding up polite conversations with people that had come in to your tent and had some how slipped past Matt, and Stacy, who were on an entertainment shift with you in the main part of your camp, while Dana played ‘fish’ in the fan filled U Haul, and the other girls rode around to check out some of the rest of the camps. You couldn’t help but fall even more in love with him like you had every day for the past couple months. He was just entirely too good for you, and you didn’t ever want to be away from him.

“Alright, guys, I’m gunna take a break for a few hours.” You said when you saw Kenzie and Kara on their bikes. “Put requests in the fish bowl!”

“We’re switching out?” Matt asked as grabbed a beer from the palm tree.

“Yea, we’re gunna go burn a while.” You said as you adjusted your mermaid scales bottoms on your way over to the U Haul. You yelled your intentions to Dana, who was going to switch places with Kenzie for the second shift of fishing, and grabbed your heavily decorated with bright neon blue LED battery power lights beach cruiser.

“You know, I don’t know if I remember how to ride a bike.” Jeff said softly as he grabbed his matching, mixed color bike from next to yours.

“I’ll make sure you don’t fall or embarrass yourself, my love.” He leaned over and kissed your temple as you grabbed your alcohol filled bottle and a water filled one as well and stuck them in your basket. “Alright, let’s…”

“Hey wait!” The girl that asked you to play Piano Man said as she came running out to the road. She smiled at you and held out a pair of pills. “Thank you. For my song.”

“Oh, no, you don’t have to…”

“Take them.” She giggled as she grabbed your hand and put the two pills in your palm. “Happy Burn.” You nodded at her and looked over at Jeff with a smile.

“Just don’t think.” You said as you put a pill on your tongue, grabbed the back of his head, and kissed him roughly. You could feel him tense up the slightest bit as you pushed the pill between his lips with your tongue, but after a moment, he loosened up, and let you give him the ecstasy. 

“What kinda bad influence are you?” He laughed as you popped your pill in your mouth and followed it with a swig of your drink.

“One that you love.” You cooed as you straddled your bike and put your feet on the pedals. “You coming?”

“I guess I am.” He sighed as he got on his bike and briefly wobbled after you before he gained his confidence and pulled up to your side. “Thank you for not letting me back out.”

“Well look at it this way now.” You said as you grabbed your head lamp from the basket, switched it on, and put it on your head. “I just did ecstasy and am headed out to la Playa at prime time in Burning Man time in a bathing suit.”

“Yea, and if you walk more than five feet away from me at any point in time, I’ll take you to Europe, steal all of your things, and leave you there for a week to fend for yourself.”

“Oh, that sounds dangerous.” You teased as you pulled into the center of Black Rock City. You rode over to where a group of bikes and parked yours in the line with the rest, making sure to lock the wheel to the frame just in case someone drunkenly confused your bike with theirs.

“I don’t dance.” Jeff yelled at you over the music.

“You don’t have to.” You laughed as you laced your arm with his and pointed the farthest camp on the edge. “How about we start there and work our way down the line until the E kicks on?” With a nod, he reached out for your hand and laced his fingers with yours to walk with you. It only took about an hour for the drugs to kick in, and in that time you had been gifted a rubber bracelet for the event because you had pretty hair, a few glow stick bracelets and necklaces which made you realize you forgot yours in the RV, and more than a few shots and drinks. And as you were talking to someone about your time in Juilliard, and disagreeing with them on why your Burning Man nickname should not be ‘Keys’, you realized that Jeff was lost in his roll and the softness of your skin on the back of your neck.

“You OK?” You laughed at him when you had a moment break in the conversation.

“Why is your skin so soft?”

“Because you’re high, baby.” You laughed before saying a quick ‘see you later, come see us’ so you could hunt down your bikes before you got lost in the sensation, too.

“You’re back quick.” Dana said as you pulled up to the campsite and got off your bike.

“Yep.” Kenzie, who was sitting right next to her took one look at you before sitting up and turning to the group.

“OK, someone needs to turn the music up right now so we don’t have to hear them fuck!”

“God, you’re impossible.” You laughed as you headed in to the RV with Jeff’s hand in yours, while the people under your tent cheered for you. The second the door closed behind you, you kissed your boyfriend and walked him back to the king sized bed, closing the door only a couple seconds before your clothes hit the floor.

“Fuck, baby girl.” Jeff sighed when he got you completely undressed, and laid out on the blankets. “You are so fucking beautiful.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know, I’m honestly surprised you lasted the entire week.” You admitted to Jeff, as he held the door to room one of four suites so you and your friends could shower off and have a good night sleep before you flew home. He huffed at you as your friends all tiredly headed into their rooms beside and across the hall from you to shower and wash off the six layers of dirt and catch up the dozens of hours of missed sleep.

“That is only because I wasn’t leaving my gorgeous girlfriend alone in the desert with that many drugs, and that many naked people.” You snorted a laugh through your nose, dropped your purse on the floor just inside the door, and kicked off your shoes in opposite directions on the way to the shower. “Hey, who said you could go first?”

“I will kill you if you think you are getting in before me.” You growled as you pulled off your clothes and got into the shower. “Get in here and help me.” You whined as you stood out of the way of the shower spray and turned the water on.

“So needy.” He huffed as he stripped out of his clothes and stepped in the shower in front of you. With a content sigh, you wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your head on his chest.

“This is all I need in life anymore.” You told him as you watched dirty water wash through and around the soft hairs on his chest. You adjusted your cheek and sighed once more as he grabbed a bar of soap and washed you off in lazy circles.

“Move in with me.” Those four words made your stomach flip as you looked up at the first man that had ever made you feel worth while, and nodded your head without needing to give the proposition any thought otherwise. 

“I’m taking a long nap first.” You replied with a smirk as you laid your head back down on his chest.

“I think that can be arranged, baby girl.”

The next two weeks of your life was a complete whirlwind as you packed up all your belongings, moved across Central Park to Jeff’s Upper East Side home, and helped Chelsea move out of the four bedroom hell hole she lived in with 3 total wack jobs and a horrible landlord since she spent half the time sleeping on your couch as is, and into your old room. But just as you were getting everything settled, you caught some kind of stomach bug that turned out to be something way more serious.

Jeff stood pin straight still, and dead silent, as you both stared at the door of the hospital room you were in- a trip you made because he couldn’t take one more night of you throwing up and writhing on the bathroom floor in pain. You had no idea what he was thinking, but then again, neither did he. You were both just absolutely terrified.

“Are they OK?” You both asked the second the doctor walked into the room.

“Let’s just take a look, OK?” He said with a reassuring smile. You couldn’t bring yourself to believe him as every single drug you took in Black Rock City ran like a bad movie in your head. You reached out for Jeff at the same moment he took a step toward you, as the doc grabbed the ultrasound wand. You actually held your breath as he located the two side by side blobs and nodded his head.

“They look fine.” You exhaled forcefully and burst into fear and joy fill tears, as Jeff sat down in the chair next to you in relief. “Two healthy babies.”

“We did a lot of drugs.” Jeff said as he worried your hand between his as he stared at the monitor. “And a lot of drinking at Burning Man...” 

“And all I can say on that is get in touch with an OBGYN, and disclose everything. I won’t lie to you, there could be some consequences, but I wouldn’t worry too much about that. I’ve seen drug addicts who used everyday of their pregnancy and had perfectly functioning, otherwise healthy babies. I’d just refrain from any and all alcohol consumption and drug use.”

“Oh absolutely.” You said with a nod as you took the two photos he handed you and held the delicately in your hands. “I’ll do everything by the book.”

“Just don’t worry to much about what you did. Focus on what you can do for them now.” You nodded your head and took the paper script from him, which Jeff took from you right after. “Something to help with the nausea. And I’ll have the nurse bring in a list of some OBGYN’s in town for you as well.”

“Thank you, doc.” Jeff said with a nod as he stood up and shook the man’s hand. “We appreciate it.” With another nod, the doctor left the room to go about his day, and you looked up at the father of your children and started to cry.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know!” He shushed you softly and shook his head as he leaned down to wrap you in a hug.

“It’s ok, baby girl.” He whispered as he held you to his shoulder with his hand on the back of your head. “I’m not mad. It’s OK now. We’ll all be OK.” You nodded for a second before your stomach rolled, and you practically shoved him away to grab the vomit bag the nurse had given you to get sick in. “It’s OK.” He repeated as he gently rubbed your back and picked up the ultrasounds from your lap to look at them in complete disbelief. “We’re all gunna be alright.”

��—

Jeff didn’t speak to you for three days after you got home, other than to check to see how you were feeling, and to remind you he loved you every night as you walked out of the living room to the master bedroom without him, which was unusual for him, since you usually went to bed together. On the fourth night, you got fed up with laying in his bed, waiting for the man that you had fallen head over heels in love with, the father of your children, and grabbed your pillow and the blanket to head down to the guest bedroom. You made it almost all the way to the door, when it opened toward you. Jeff stopped for a moment and looked at you with eyes full of concern, as you hiked the blankets and your pillow up a little more. 

“No.” He said simply with a shake of his head, as if it were the answer to all of your problems.

“No, you no!” You snapped back as tears welled in your eyes. “I’m going…”

“I always wanted kids.” He sighed as he stepped in front of you and pulled the blanket out of your arms to put it back on the bed. “Hillarie couldn’t conceive. And the few times she did, we miscarried before the end of the first trimester.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Do you know that fear doesn’t go away?” He asked as he walked you around to your side of the bed. “Fear that you’re going to blink and everything is going to be ripped away from you, that doesn’t just go away.” He sighed as he pulled off his shoes and carefully laid you down on the bed so he could get in behind you. As if you were China doll about to break, he scooted up behind you as close as he could, and gently wrapped his arm under yours across your chest. 

“(Y/N), I’m so sorry I’ve pulled away from you. It is absolutely not your fault, or the fact that you are pregnant. I love you so fucking much and I need you with me every fucking day for the rest of my life. And now I need our kids just as much, but I’m fucking terrified. I can’t… I can’t…”

“I’m scared too.” You whispered as you pulled his arm even closer to you. “What if I fucked them up?”

“Then we will figure it out together, baby.” He sighed as he hugged you a little tighter. “I’m sorry I pulled away. I needed a minute and I never should have taken it silently without telling you what I was doing. That was not fair to you. I’ve just never been good at handling hard life shit.” You shook your head in agreement and sniffled as your tears fell on his arms and your pillow. “I’m sorry. Forgive me…” You nodded your head and rolled over to face him, and he held you to his chest as his own tears welled in his eyes.

“Just tell me it’s gunna be OK.” You sobbed as you held on to his shirt so he wouldn’t leave when you voiced your insecurities. “Tell me I didn’t kill our babies at stupid fucking Burning Man or that they aren’t going to end up blind, or with only one limb between them….”

“No, shhh…” He tried with a shake of his head as he realized that you were dealing with different versions of his same fears about the situation. “Our babies are going to be just fine. Unless they’re boys… then we’re both screwed.”

“No, I want boys!” You whined as he leaned back enough to kiss your forehead and wipe away your tears for you.

“Then we are going to have two, healthy boys, that have all ten fingers and all ten toes each, in their right places, on the right babies. And they’re gunna be smart, and handsome, and funny, and…”

“Perfect?” He nodded his head as he moved his hand to your stomach with as big of smile as his nervous self could handle.

“They will be perfect.”

——

“OK, you understand that I’m supposed to be peacefully resting at home, right? Not looking at new houses…”

“You’ve taken over my closet.” Jeff laughed as he held the elevator door open on the fourth floor of the millionth condo you had seen in the past six week. “And it’ll only be a matter of time before you start taking over the one in the guest bedroom. Besides my place is more of a bachelor pad still. It’s not really kid friendly…”

“I know what you’re doing.” You said as you stopped in front of 4B and turned around to look at him as you put your hand on your back and cocked your eyebrow at him. You pointed at the bump that officially stuck out past your boobs and shook your head. “We made it to the second trimester. You don’t need to distract yourself...”

“But we still need a bigger house.” He chuckled as he leaned towards you to knock at the door. “One that you can decorate for our family and not my assistant for my tastes.”

“Whatever.” You huffed as you turned toward Jeff’s real estate agent, Mark. “So? Let’s hear it.”

“Four beds, three and a half baths.” Mark started as he walked backwards into the living room. “Thirty five hundred square feet, and washer and dryer in the unit.”

“Big kitchen?” You asked as you curled your lip at the hideous purple painted book shelf in the study to your left off the living room. “Eww…”

“Big kitchen.” Mark agreed as Jeff followed you around, taking mental notes about the things he would need to change for you to make this the house you wanted to start your family in since he didn’t mind one bit where he lived as long as you were there with him.

“God, who designed this place?” You asked as you turned around and looked at weird, bell shaped light on the far side of the open concept room in what had to be the dining room. “Schools?”

“7, 2, and 8 out of 10.” He said as he looked at his notebook to get the answers to the questions he knew you were going to ask since he had been working with you for a few weeks. “The building was built in 1906 and was last coded in 2019. Been on the market five days and it’s already seen three people.” You shook your head as you peaked into the half bath and the walk in pantry across the way, before heading into the absolutely gorgeous white and grey kitchen, thats only blemish was the colored cushions on the bench in the breakfast nook in the corner, and more of the same strange gold bell lamp shades. 

“This could be a play room.” Jeff said as he looked at the den that backed the kitchen.

“You have another closet back there. And the laundry room with a sink is over there.” You nodded your head and glanced down the hall that lead to the bedrooms, as Jeff came up behind you with a smirk.

“You are poker facing awful hard, baby girl.”

“Other than paint, and changing light fixtures, I love it, but I’m not telling him that.” Your love huffed and nodded his head as you walked over to look at the actual laundry room with a sink, cabinets, and counter space, and the large walk in closet.

“It also has 3-zone central AC, a humidification system, and radiant-heated floors in the bathrooms. And it has a part time doorman, a live-in super, more added storage, and a bike room. The walk score is 98, and transit is 100. Now I think is the cutest part of the house is this room right here. I know Mr. Morgan said you were having twins, and this is perfect already if they are girls, or it can be painted for boys…”

“Oh, wow.” You said as your facade slipped for only a moment when you saw the built in bookshelves on one wall, and the already built in bunk beds next to the long closet on the other. You glanced up at Jeff with a smirk you couldn’t control, and he kissed your forehead in silent confirmation.

“What are they asking?”

“$5,375,000.” Jeff whistled as you looked at the similar room across the hall, that had the same bookshelves on one wall but a small ensuite on the other wall. 

“HOA?”

“It’s a little higher than the rest.” Mark said as he followed you and Jeff through the second to last bedroom, and the bath that it shared with the room with the bunk beds. “$5,018”

“Can you give us a minute?” Jeff asked as you stepped into the last room, the master bedroom.

“You may not have enough room in this closet either, baby.”

“Finally found one you like?” You finally let your smile show, and nodded your head as you turned on the wood floors that ran through all of the bedrooms toward him. He sighed and put his hands on your hips with a small smile that made your heart melt and your stomach flip. “Do you want it?”

“Do you?” He nodded his head and searched your eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath.

“I’m gunna say the same thing I said to Hillarie when I bought our first house. This house will be our house, until the day comes when you don’t want me here anymore, which hopefully is never. But if that day comes, this house will still be yours, and our kids, for the rest their lives… unless you cheat on me, or if you attempt to steal money from me, which yes, it is possible, because I watched my ex-wife try to do it. Not saying you would, but I still need to lay the rules out…”

“Wait… you’re giving me a house?”

“No.” He chuckled as he moved his hands to the small of your back to hug you. “I’m buying us a house, that I’m going to put your name on as well, so that we both know that you and our children will always be taken care of. Because you are the real love of my life… and I need to know that you are safe.” You couldn’t help yourself but to start crying, and his smile simply grew more as he leaned down and kissed your forehead. “Wanna walk through it one more time to make sure you really love it?”

“Yes…”

“Well go on then.” He chuckled before giving you a chaste kiss. “I’m going to talk price and see if I can get them to do a short sale so we can get in here and get that purple book shelf painted…”

“Eww and change those horrid light shades, please!”

“We can find some new light shades, sweetheart.”

“Hey baby!” You called out before he could walk out of the room. “Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

“Anything for you, baby girl.” You blew him a kiss and turned to look at the small white and bronze accented bathroom, that would have to have to be redone in some actual color, before heading back over to the bedroom with the bunk beds.

“This is gunna be your room one day, babies.” You whispered as you rubbed your bump and looked down at your babies as the reality that they would never have to live the life you did growing up caught up with you. You started to cry again as you looked up at a giant giraffe stuffed animal the owners kids owned, and choked on your tears with a laugh. “God, and I promise I will never buy you two something so tacky.”

——

“OK, this is just not fucking fair.” Dana said as she walked into your new, freshly painted, co-decorated, slightly remodeled home for your gender reveal. “This place could fit my house like ten times over!”

“She looked at about a million and one to find this one.” Jeff teased as he took the giant basket she was carrying from her.

“What’s in the basket?” You asked as you pushed the front door closed and took a step toward your boyfriend, only to have him turn away and Dana step in front of you.

“You can open it later.” She laughed as she turned you around and pushed you into your living room. “Now show me around. Be a good hostess before everyone else gets here.”

“Oh, Jesus I can’t even… You’re so needy!”

“Oh, I know! It’s so hard to be a good host.” She laughed back as she followed you to the kitchen, where you had dozens of finger foods and desserts in pink and blue.

“OK, wait. You have to place your vote.” You said as you pointed to the dry erase board you had borrowed from her office. “Two boys, two girls, or one of each. And then you have to wear the beads.”

“Oh, I like it!” She said as she lifted the two strands of blue beads from around your neck. “You want boys?”

“Oh, I need boys.” You said as you held out a few dry erase markers for her to choose. “Dana, we’re girls. Do you remember how much trouble we got in to?”

“Yea, but so do boys.” She pointed out as she drew a mark under the one boy, one girl column and picked up one of each necklace.

“Yes, but boys listen to their mothers.” You reminded her as you want over and grabbed a glass of blue raspberry lemonade and a blue straw from the table of the breakfast nook. “Come on, you have to see the boy’s room.”

“What if it’s one and one?”

“Then I guess I’m just going to have to recreate the room on the other side? I don’t know. I do know that I’ve grown to hate this purplish pinkish bleck shade they had in here…”

“Oh, that’s really cool. But I see about the color, this is awful.”

“So this one shares a bathroom with the one next door. And the one across the hall has an ensuite so it’s the guest room. And our room is next to that…”

“Oh, let me see the remodel you did with that. You changed the bathroom, right?”

“OK, so first, you have to see the final product so I can show you how we changed it because the way they set this up is just asinine.”

“What did they…”

“Who makes a master bathroom five feet wide and thinks that’s OK?” You asked as you stepped into the master suite and pushed open the bathroom door. “So this wall stopped here and we pushed it out into one of the two closets the undecided room had and doubled the size. And then I added the tub because I needed it.”

“I like this color.” She said as she touched the dark teal accent wall behind the mirror.

“I used the same one on the bookshelf in the study because I liked it so much.” You said with a nod. “We also pushed this wall into the walk in because Jeff still has his closet space out here and I didn’t need that much space, so that few feet gave us just the amount of room we needed.” Dana nodded and turned toward you with a smile.

“Are you happy, (Y/N)? Like not because of the physical possessions… does he make you happy?” You smiled and nodded your head as you put your hand on your 20 week along bump.

“Dana, I’m pretty sure I would die without him in my life. I have never loved someone the way I love Jeff.” Her smile grew as she stepped forward and put her hands on either side of your stomach.

“Then I know I made the right choice in calling you back that day.” You nodded your head as Jeff called your name from outside the door, and you looked over at him with a smile.

“My mom just got here. Are you done touring?”

“Where did your beads go, mister?” You asked as you turned toward him and followed him out of your room. 

“Mom votes with me that they are both girls so I gave them to her.” He laughed as he reached out for your hand just long enough to pull you to the side to put his hand on the small of your back.

“And you know I’m going to keep giving you shit until you put them back on, Daddy.” You cooed as you grabbed two pink bead necklaces and held them out to him. “Or you can sleep on the couch, far far away from Mommy and the boys.”

“See, I like her already.”

“Thanks Mom.” Jeff laughed as he put his necklaces on and turned you around to the food covered island. “Sweetheart, this is my mom, Sandy. Mom, the love of my life, mother of daughters…”

“Sons.” You laughed as you stepped forward to the grandmother of your children. “(Y/N). It’s so nice to finally meet you, Sandy.”

“Oh, please. It’s Mom.” She said sweetly as she gestured to your bump. “May I?”

“Absolutely!” You laughed as you reached out for her hands and pulled her a step closer. “You’ve got the soccer player down here, and the long jumper that uses my ribs as a jumping board up here. I say they have to be boys because like two nights ago, they got into what felt like a slap fight against my bladder and I feel like only boys would be that rude to their mother in the middle of the night.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” She laughed as she rubbed your bump through the knee length blue and pink splattered, off the shoulder dress that was tight against your body and had a long, loose ruffle around the top. “If they are boys, I hope for your sake they are nothing like their father because he was a wild child.”

“Oh, really!” You squealed as you refilled your cup and picked up a pink chocolate covered strawberry, while Jeff whined ‘Mom’ on his way to go get the door. “Please, I am begging you to tell me more.”

“Oh, honey I will never run out of stories about my Jeffrey. Like this one time…”

“Mom!” Jeff said as he walked back into the kitchen behind Chelsea and Kate, and couple of Jeff’s friends that you had only meet a few times before. “Don’t start!”

“Oh, I’ll start alright.” She laughed with a shake of her head. “I have to pre-warn her what she’s getting into with Morgan boys.” You laughed with her as Jeff simply shook his head and went to get the door again, and Dana quickly jumped on the train to get more stories about the father of your child with you. Since you had no representation of family, you shared your own embarrassing childhood stories as your friends and his came together to celebrate the lives you created. You played cheesy games, and ate probably way to many sweets, until Jeff’s assistant, Rebecca got there a little late with two large black balloons for Baby A and Baby B.

“OK, let’s see what the final vote is before we pop these suckers.” Jeff called out over the slight hum of voices in the living room and kitchen as he pointed to the two balloons Rebecca was putting in the arch way between the living and dining room. One of the men that worked in Jeff’s New York office, Jason, grabbed the white board for you and carried it out to the dinner table, where the presents that people had brought to make the last couple months of your pregnancy a little more enjoyable were.

“So we have eight for boy boy.” You said as you looked at all the tallies on the board. “Which is the right team, by the way…”

“Thirteen for girl girl, the winning team.” Jeff interrupted with a playful glare.

“You are are just mistaken.” You giggled. “And fourteen for both. So Baby B is the one up by my ribs, and Baby A is right now down by my left hip. So we’ll obviously start with A. Thanks, Bex.” You said as you took the balloon and a sewing needle from her. “You wanna?”

“No, pop away, my love.” Jeff said as he moved the balloon between you so that you could both be in the photos Kenzie had been taking for you all afternoon. You and your party guests counted down from three, and hesitated for only a second before hitting the black latex with the sharp tip. You cheered excitedly as blue confetti rained down on your head and floated down on your hardwood floors.

“Ok, so this one better be a girl.” Jeff mockingly complained as he took the string from you and traded it for the next balloon.

“If it is a girl, she’s a badass with the way she’s beating up on her brother.” You laughed as you handed him the pin. “But it’s gunna be another boy.”

“Wrong.” He laughed before starting the next count down. You actually held your breath, hoping in that moment that it was a girl for his sake, and you shrieked happily when the destroyed latex released its pink confetti over the blue.

“We got one of both.” You said with a smile as Jeff cupped your jaw with his hands.

“A Daddy’s girl and a Mama’s boy.” He said with a nod. “We’re both screwed.”

“Yea we are.” You laughed as you stood up on your tip toes and kissed him softly. “A boy and a girl… sorry baby, we gotta do even more painting.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oh, God, is this really necessary?” You whined as you stepped in to a white and black polka dot sleeveless, halter gown to go to a charity event for one of the foundations Jeff was a part of.

“I’m sorry, but it is.” Jeff said with a nod as he pulled your dress up to your hips where you could reach it without bending over around your substantial 32 week along bump. “It’s a once a year dinner that I have to go to, and you said you wanted to go…”

“Yea, I know.” You sighed as you turned around so he could zip you up. “But I was obviously delirious, running on more sleep, and probably half the size I am now.”

“And you still look just as beautiful to me, baby.” He said sweetly to keep you calm like he usually did as he turned you around toward him with a smile. “I love you… and I know Jett and Jace are both thankful you are carrying them…”

“Yea, I know you think that.” You huffed as a small smile pulled at your cheeks. “But I think these two are ungrateful, hate monsters that can’t keep their arms and legs inside the moving vehicle.” Jeff laughed whole heartedly as he knelt down and slipped your wedge sandals on your feet for you.

“You’re almost there, baby girl. 36 weeks was your goal…”

“Just make it go faster.” You sighed as you put your cell phone on silent and handed it to him to carry so you didn’t have to bring a purse. He put it in his inside jacket pocket with your tissues (because everything made you cry now a days), your lip gloss, and a bag of goldfish in case you got hungry before dinner was served.

“Make it through dinner, and we’re one more day closer.” He said in a sing song voice as he turned you toward the door and gave you a gentle push in that direction. You grumbled at him under your breath as you adjusted your belly band under your dress, and headed down stairs. “It’ll be over before you know it, sweetheart.” He placated over your continued grumbling when your car pulled up in front the Ritz in Manhattan. With one last grumble, you lost the pout and forced a smile on your face as he and his driver, Jonathan, helped you out of the car.

“Oh, you look so big!” “When are you due?!” “Twin’s, that sounds like a lot of work!” “Oh, you have to use cloth diapers, they are so much better for the babies.” “A tiny thing like you is going to have a lot of fun pushing those babies out.”

“OK!” Jeff said quickly before you knocked the woman that was reaching out for your bump on her ass. “Let’s go find our seats and get you off your feet.”

“Why do people think it’s acceptable to touch me?”

“Because people are weird.” He laughed as he guided you around a chair that had been left pulled out.

“Jeffrey Dean!” You stopped walking as a woman stood up on the far side of the table in front of you, and Jeff’s hand gripped the back of your dress when she started walking toward you.

“Hillarie.”

“The Hillarie?” You asked with a glance back up at him. He nodded his head and rubbed your back as he cleared his throat.

“What can I do for you, Hillarie?”

“Oh, nothing, I just… oh! You’re… pregnant.” You nodded your head and put your hand on your bump as she smirked between you and her ex. “You finally caved and went with a sperm donor…”

“Good night, Hillarie…” Jeff tried as he gave you a gentle push to the right, but his ex side stepped and blocked your path.

“No, I’m sorry. That’s rude of me.” She giggled with the fakest smile you had ever seen. “You seem like a nice young thing. I bet you found a man to knock you up and went after Jeff for the money, didn’t you?”

“Excuse me?!”

“That’s enough, Hillarie!”

“I mean you are huge and, let’s face it, we both know Jeff’s sperm are way to old to be a viable option…”

“I’m sorry.” You interrupted as your whole body started to shake. “I think I missed the memo saying that your opinion about my children and their father mattered to anyone but yourself.” She cocked her eyebrow at you as you reached back for Jeff’s hand with a very forced smile. “And I’m even more sorry that you decided to cheat on him and pass up on mind blowing sex. Not that it’s any of your business, but I can promise you that he is responsible for my huge stomach. He’s responsible for making me happy, and he’s responsible for making me forget my own name every night.” Hillarie looked shocked at your retort as you stepped back the other way and up to her side with a smile. “Oh, and thank you for talking to him. Now I know I’ll go to bed wore out as we both attempt to forget you are still in Manhattan and so he can welcomingly remind me the seasoned man he is and exactly who fathered my babies.” You took a step back and smiled at her once more as the exhausted vindictiveness washed over you.

“And I’m sorry that you weren’t capable of getting pregnant. But obviously… that’s not Jeff’s fault.”

“OK, let’s go find our seats, baby girl.” Jeff said quickly as he stepped between you and his ex with an uncontrollable satisfied smirk on his face. “Good night, Hillarie.” You heard her growl behind you as you were led away, and you glanced up at Jeff for a moment. “You did fine.” He chuckled before you could even ask.

“I’m sorry, it wasn’t my place… really, they’re starting with salad.”

“Just start with the salad so you don’t rip anyone else’s head off.” He laughed as he pulled your chair out at the first table in the middle row of the room.

“And for that, I’m eating yours too.” You huffed with a smile as you put your napkin on your lap, and turned your attention to the rest of the people at the table, who were thankfully people that you knew from Jeff’s New York office that had attended your gender reveal, or would be attending your baby shower the next day. “Growing babies is tough work. Can’t be done on just greens.”

[isa-renee]

There are a lot of these lists going around but I know some people following me rn are dealing with heat waves so here are some suggestions that worked for me when our ac went out in the last heat wave (of like 105+ weather):

Water! Stay hydrated! Honestly this is the most important thing I know everyone has been saying this but it’s so easy to get dehydrated in hot weather and then you’ll be even more miserable just drink so much water (and avoid alcohol or too much sugar if possible)

A fan! However many fans you own just put all of them on high. You want as much air circulation as possible. If you can have one rotating and one facing you that’s ideal. Keep all doors inside your house open as well

Windows. In lower temperature heat waves (up to maybe 95 or so degrees) keeping windows open can help with circulation and cool things off, but once it reaches higher temperatures you’re going to want to do everything you can to keep the heat out. This includes closing your windows and putting up blackout curtains if you have them. If you don’t have dark curtains, hang up blankets or something (since you won’t need them for a while). At night when it cools down open all your windows and let the place air out in the cooler weather. But wake up early to close them again to keep the heat out.

Spray bottle! This is a life saver. Just get a spray bottle full of water and sit in front of your fan and spray yourself to keep cooling off. I also used to fill one with rubbing alcohol sometimes because it evaporates quicker, but make sure not to breathe any in (and just be careful with this as it’s flammable and will dry out your skin and just don’t get in your eyes etc)

Ice! You’ll want as much ice as possible. For drinking in water, for chewing, for just putting all over your body when it gets unbearable. Ice! If you don’t have enough ice cube trays just freeze some frozen water bottles and you can use those as makeshift ice packs

Stay still. This is honestly the most important one. Of course it’s not feasible if you’re at work or you have to be doing things. But you want to move as little as possibly. Avoid generating excess body heat. If there’s any time to sit on the couch and do nothing it��s during a heat wave

And my final tip: get out of the house!

This is harder during covid but it’s a good option! Go to a water park! Or a community pool. If you have a garden get a kiddie pool and fill it with cold water and sit in the shade and cool off. Find a movie theater or some sort of newer establishment with an ac. Go to a Costco and stand in the large walk in fridge. Just find someplace to go where you can temporarily get out of the heat.

Good luck everybody! Stay chillin 😎 (I’m sorry I couldn’t not make that joke forgive me)

[wherefunsurvives]

The Ultimate College COVID Packing List

Okay kids, you’ve seen the post about packing light for college, so here’s some specifics for all of you incoming freshmen or returning students who will be living on campus! This is NOT the year to bring extra furniture, decorations, etc. This is the year to pack light and be ready to get on out of there at a moment’s notice if you have to. i proudly present to you -

“What to bring and what not to bring when going to college in a global pandemic!!!”

STORAGE

i used to swear by my camp trunk when i packed for school and while a trunk can be useful because it has more space inside it’s going to be harder to take on a plane or bus. If you go for a trunk, make sure its combined dimensions (length+width+height) are 62 inches or less (the size requirement for checked luggage). The ideal size would probably be a 32x17x13 inch trunk.

Instead of trunks or big containers, go for a combination of suitcases and duffle bags. Your goal should be to minimize luggage - you want be able to carry everything through an airport without any help. So let’s say in theory at MOST you should have a combination that looks something like:

2 checked suitcases + 1 checked duffle + 1 carryon duffle + one personal item backpack

1 checked suitcase + 1 checked duffle + 1 carryon suitcase + one personal item backpack

1 checked suitcase + 1 carryon suitcase + 1 personal item duffle

Get creative, mix and match, calculate the costs for each combination, which will vary depending on if you’re flying, taking a bus, driving, or taking a train. 

Checked and carryon luggage should ideally have 4 spinner wheels and a handle, this will make it easier to move all by yourself. Put your duffles around the handles of the luggage so you can carry everything yourself with minimal effort. If you have checked luggage and carryon luggage, consider a bag connector like this one! You can find surprisingly decent luggage at Costco and from Travelpro, which is designed for pilots and flight attendants but has massive markdowns all the time. 

A good duffle should be spacious with multiple compartments or pockets. If you’re an experienced camper or backpacker, maybe use those types of bags! If you’re not, get something that’s 40 liters of space or more. i bought this 50L duffle for $30 and it’s absolutely absurd the amount of stuff i can fit in it.Leave all other storage options at home. 

Don’t bring your own desk, drawers, furniture etc. Use only the furniture provided by the dorm. Don’t even bring a laundry hamper! Get a fabric laundry bag that you can easily fold. 

LEARN HOW TO PACK EFFICIENTLY. Choose your fighter, the army rolling method or the KonMari folding method (Marie Kondo also has a great video on how to organize what you pack and choose only what you need). This will allow you to bring the amount of clothes you need while taking up minimal space. Speaking of which -

CLOTHING

Your goal is to minimize both items and travel (meaning you shouldn’t plan as if you’re going to travel home every break to swap out clothes). Now is a great time to learn how to build a capsule wardrobe of basic items that can be mixed and matched. Keep it simple. Obviously if you’re in a warmer climate, this will be easier. For colleges with seasons, i’d say aim for 2 pairs of jeans or trousers you like, 1 pair of dress pants, and 1-2 pairs of leggings/joggers/comfortable pants. 1 pair of shorts, no more than 2 skirts, no more than 3 dresses (1 nicer, 1 more casual and comfortable). 10-12 shirts or less (include a variety of tanks, tee shirts, long sleeves, button downs, sweaters, etc.) and 3-5 “layers” like a blazer, cardigan, hoodie, etc. 2 pairs of pajamas, one for warmer weather and one for cooler weather. One raincoat, one fall/spring midweight jacket, one good winter coat - if you’re in Chicago, NYC, etc. invest in a warm parka, and i don’t mean Canada Goose. Just something sturdy that will keep you warm.

You’re going to repeat outfits. That’s fine. You’re not going anywhere important and you’ll be spending a lot of time in your room online. Being able to get out is more important than looking cute.

Pack an appropriate amount of underwear, socks, bras, etc. Bring a hat or two, one for sun and a thick beanie for the cold. Bring one tie and one pair of snow gloves if you need either. Bring a scarf or two for cold climates (they can be an extra layer of protection over a mask). If you wear jewelry, choose up to 10 items you really want and put them in a bag or a small portable jewelry box.

You only need 4 pairs of shoes maximum - one pair of sneakers/gym shoes that you could easily walk two miles in. One pair of of easy slip-on slip-off shoes for going to get mail or do laundry (because you don’t want to walk the dorms barefoot these days) and bonus points if they can double as comfortable ‘nice’ shoes such as cheap loafers, TOMS, basic flats, etc. One flip flops or sandals if you’ll be using communal showers and bathrooms. And one pair of boots that can double as rainboots AND snowboots (duckboots are great for this!) You don’t need heels, wedges, or multiple pairs/styles of shoes for the same reason you don’t need multiple dresses or a full tuxedo - you’re not going anywhere this year! Or at least you shouldn’t! Parties, formals, conferences, etc. are all a terrible idea unless you want COVID-19.

What you should have multiples of are masks and gloves! Have a few reusable face masks you can wash (RedBubble has them in every style, almost every clothing brand sells them, and VogMask/Camridge Mask are great options for something a little more heavy duty). Invest in disposable gloves and one pair of reusable gloves such as dish gloves. Some basic eye protection doesn’t hurt either - i love blue light glasses because they provide some coverage while also being great for reducing eye strain during all your Zoom calls!

SUPPLIES

Keep it basic, and that means you too studyblr kids! You don’t want supplies to take up all your space. Buy a spacious pencil case. Buy a basic back of black Bic pens and put 10-15 in. Those things last forever. Put in 5 presharpened pencils and 5 unsharpened pencils. Bring a pencil sharpener, 1 pink eraser, and 10 eraser toppers. The eraser always runs out before the pencil does. Pack 1-2 glue-sticks, 1 pair of good scissors. Fill the rest of it with your non-essential favorites like mildliners, highlighters, felt tip pens, markers etc. But no more than what can fit in the case. And nothing too expensive, just in case you can’t bring it with you.

Small multi-subject notebooks y’all!! Just get one or two. You never use as many pages as you think you will in your notebooks and multiple full size notebooks are a pain to carry and pack. For my last two years of college i would buy 1 or 2 Five Star 5x7 inch notebooks with 5 subjects for each term. They came with pocket folders inside and i never once used all the pages. i’d often re-use at least one from last term into the next term. It also means you never have to run back for a notebook if you’re at the library and want to do homework for that other class because all your notes for all your classes are right there!!

Bring 2 rolls of scotch tape and 1 roll of masking tape in case you need to repair anything. Pack any essential medication you take, a first aid kit with bandaids, wipes, tweezers, etc. Pack 1 small bottle each of ibuprofen, Tylenol or acetaminophen, any multi-vitamin you prefer, and a vitamin C supplement to help keep your immune system strong.

1 pack of pads/tampons. You can buy more when you get to school, save the space for packing.

1 reusable water bottle. Buy plastic ones periodically/accept reusable free ones given to you at school that you can take if you need to go to the doctor/hospital/etc. so you can throw them away if needed afterwards. 1 mug, if you use one. Make it one you’re willing to leave behind if you must.

1 small set of non-breakable plates/bowls and utensils. i like the Ikea KALAS ones because they’re plastic but can be microwaved or put in the dishwasher. And it’s $2 for a set of 6. 1 small set of tupperware - again IKEA has some good cheap options - that is also microwave safe. You’ll want these solely in the event it’s unsafe to eat in the dining halls. This will let you bring food back to your room and eat, save leftovers from the dining hall or takeout orders, etc. Buy a small bottle of dish soap when you get to school to be able to wash your dishes.

If you use liquid detergent, wait to buy until you’re at school. It takes up more space. If you use detergent pods, choose your own adventure. Buy your shampoo and conditioner at school if you can, same with soap. Same thing with toilet paper, paper towels, and so on. Buy it there, be prepared to leave it behind. Do bring hand sanitizer with you though. Keep a small size in your personal item for your travels and always keep some in your bag at school.

2 disposable toothbrushes, 1-2 tubes toothpaste, 2 toothbrush travel cases. Store the toothbrush you’re using in a travel case while at school to try to prevent contamination. If you become sick, throw your toothbrush away once you’re feeling better and thoroughly wash your travel case. Buy new disposable toothbrushes as needed once at school.

A small wallet or zip ID case with a lanyard. Make sure you can fit your state ID/driver’s license, student ID, transit card, insurance card, credit/debit card, and a little cash in it with ease. One with a clear window is great because you can put your student ID in it to easily show it when required without needing to open your wallet up. A lanyard makes it harder to lose and lets you put your keys on it if you have a physical dorm key.

Your phone charger, with a wall plug. And a mobile charger of some kind (many schools give them away at some point during your first few weeks, orientation, etc. TAKE THEM). You don’t need an Apple branded one, you can find sturdy and cheap ones at Target, etc. You’ll want these in case you get stranded anywhere. And you’ll especially want these because if you need to go to the ER/doctor, you never want to let your phone die while you’re there.

1 cheap tote bag or small backpack or knapsack, etc. that you’re not too attached to. This will be your hospital go-bag. Keep a mini-notebook with your name/birthdate, emergency contact information, relevant medical information, etc. written in it in the event you cannot communicate this yourself. Keep one packed and ready. Other helpful things to have in this bag once you’re at school are a pair of shorts, a t-shirt and underwear; a granola bar, and a disposable water bottle.

1 pair of cheap but reliable headphones, ideally with a microphone. In-ear headphones take up less space than over-ear headphones. These will be great if you’re on a Zoom call or something and don’t want to be heard by your neighbors. Also great for listening to music or podcasts in the event you’re at the doctor/hospital, because just like you never want to forget a phone charger, you never want to be without something to listen to while you wait for a few hours.

DORM STUFF

Now is NOT the time to decorate your dorm. i’m sorry, i love a good Pinterest dorm board and DIY project as much as anyone else. My dorm had a whole aesthetic. It was great. But it was a nightmare to pack up when COVID hit.

All you really need is a duvet/comforter, 1 set of sheets (ideally dark color so they won’t stain, just make sure you wash them regularly), and 1 pillow.

If you want stuff on your walls, don’t bring anything. When you get to school, you’ll likely get some free swag like a college pennant you can put up. Or at the least you’ll get a bunch of papers and maps and things. Hang up the maps. Make them look cool. Draw or do calligraphy on the blank sides of the papers for DIY art and signs. Order a wall calendar with fun art or images on it. Go to Walgreen’s website and use their photo system to order a bunch of photo prints. They almost always have a discount offer happening which makes it super cheap. You can upload photos of your friends and family to surround yourself with nice memories, or upload pictures of art, landscapes, quotes, images you found on Pinterest, your celebrity crush, and literally anything else. Voila, wall decorations.

The key here is to never put up too many things. Everything you put up should be able to be taken down in 15 minutes or less and without any help.

If you really really want some decoration - buy a cheap thing of string lights from Target or something to put up. They add ambiance without much effort and don’t take up too much space. If your room is freezing with concrete floors, a small rug can help if you really think you need one. But - and you already know what i’m gonna say - BUY THEM THERE AND BE READY TO LEAVE THEM BEHIND.

No chairs. No hammocks. No lamps. No furniture. No bulletin boards. No extra bookshelves. Keep it as simple as possible.

The caveat is to bring one small grounding item from home. Maybe it’s a souvenir from a vacation you took. A mug your mom got you. A framed photo of your best friends. Choose one, and make sure it is small.

BOOKS, ETC.

Buy your class books once you get there, either from the campus bookstore, a local bookstore, ThriftBooks, Amazon (if you really must), etc. Or download them online ;) Either way, they’ll take up space while going to school so just get them later unless you have to do reading in advance.

As a book lover it pains me to say this but leave your books at home. Bring at most 4 books with you to school. i’d recommend at least one you haven’t read yet and at least one that’s a “comfort” book you like to reread. Books are one of the hardest things to move and you won’t have that much free time anyways.

Pick one hobby to pack for, and keep it basic. If you like drawing, make it 1 small sketchbook and a mini-pack of colored pencils, markers, watercolors, or crayons. If it’s photography, make it 1 single camera with 1 lens. If you like gaming, bring something small like a Switch lite. If you need a hobby to keep you busy inside, grab yourself a pair of wooden/bamboo knitting needles or a crochet hook, 1 ball of yarn, and go wild. The bottom line is only what you absolutely have to have to not lose your mind.

Have 1 large (32 GB or more) flash drive or SD card to back up your files from your laptop or tablet onto. This will be a huge help in the event something happens to your computer.

Finally, always have a plan with friends/family in the event you need to evacuate. How will you decide if you need to leave? How will you get home/to a safe place? Who will help you get there? How will you afford it? And so on.

Feel free to add anything tips that might be useful!

[clovertrails]

Finding a new trail

Leaving my front door, I turned left, walking south. After a few intersections, I hit Mosholu Avenue, a commercial street whose name derives from the Algonquin word for “smooth stones” or “small stones.” Oddly, the river that does run through Riverdale, which likely created the “smooth stones” which the word mosholu describes, is named Tibbetts Creek, after a European settler. It’s kind of odd to name a commercial avenue after a geographic feature of a river, no? But perhaps that could be read in a hopeful manner—to think of the urban commercial avenue as a river incarnate, a life-giving force through the town.

At Mosholu, I turned right (west, toward the river), following the avenue as it rounded corner, passing the local Tudor-style NYPL branch. Past the Riverdale Neighborhood House, a quaint colonial building with a pool and playground that looks vaguely hospitable for a certain kind of respectable citizen. Past the weedy baseball field, past the playground, mostly empty during the pandemic, but sometimes with a gaggle of teenage guys, chilling.

I usually crossed the street at this point and walked up a sidewalk to a curious little park that exists as an island amidst a crisscrossing web of highways. I walked up the street mostly because I didn’t feel like crossing the six-lane avenue just yet. Wanted secluded lanes that would allow me to keep to myself.

The park consists of a hilltop, a green island that just peeps over a loop-de-loop of highways, another one of Robert Moses’ concrete graffiti scrawls over the landscape of the Bronx. There’s a dog park in the middle that’s sort of falling apart; I’ve never seen anyone using it, dog or human. Mostly there are a lot of benches, facing outward and inward.

I kept walking, down garden-style, five-story, red brick apartments. Turned onto a quiet residential road with suburban single-family houses. No sidewalks, just gravelly weedy transitional spaces between grass and pavement.

I remember the gates first. I didn’t yet know it was a school; all I saw was a gate and behind it, trimmed lawns rolling up to a genteel brick building. A gated compound, vast flat fields, lacrosse fields, parking lots – of course, a private school. I followed the road as it sloped downward, hugging the edge of the prep school. There is something so sinister about a totally manicured lawn. How much labor, how much capital, do you need, to sustain this ugly face of control? Walking alongside the compound, I thought of all the iterations of this sort of gated, fenced-in, land – estates, kingdoms, plantations. 

At the end of the hill, the road spilled into nondescript dirt space. From a handful of cars, I gathered that it was a parking lot. The air changed, becoming cooler, denser. Ahead, the gravel met a chain-link fence tagged with the NYC Parks logo, a green maple leaf. This was a park? An old traffic cone and squashed cardboard boxes lay fallen against the fence. If you were walking quickly, or even driving, you would miss it entirely. My mind flashed to other Hudson parks I knew – Riverside Park, Riverbank State Park, Fort Tryon, Inwood. But this one was new, never previously encountered on a map or in person.

It seemed out of nowhere, a glen of hickory and oak, between mansions and railroads. No surprise, my mind flashed back to the gated private school that I had just passed. It was not lost on me that the serendipity of slipping into this trail occurred next to a private school with a 50K tuition in one of the richest neighborhoods in this zip code. Technically, this is a public park, but it is geographically located for the wealthy elite.

Not knowing what was inside this park, or how far it extended, I entered. Dusty paths, tall hickory and oak, flush with undergrowth. I followed a dirt trail and saw the glimmers of sunlight through the kaleidoscopic canopy of trees. I soon found the chain-link fence that formed the eastern perimeter of this park, and glimpsed the water beyond, drinking in its murmuring waves. Wandering more, I came across a dried-up gully, with a fallen tree trunk spanning its width. The top of the trunk had eroded into a temptingly flat surface. Certainly passable, if one had the guts to try. I walked five steps forward, paused, and retreated. Too old.

One thing to know is that the trees there were very tall. They do not rival the California redwoods, but the distance between the bushy undergrowth and the swaying canopy overhead felt vast. The treetops were so tall that they caught all the river wind, swirling it amongst their branches, so that I, a small ant standing below, heard the roar of the wind more so than felt its touch on my skin.

In the immediate vicinity of my body, there was the peace and quiet of overgrown trails and mossy trunks, but several leagues upward (what does a league measure? I do not know, but it feels like the right word), the treetops were in a great upheaval—maple, oak, hickory, all mingling—caught up in the wind, swaying and fluttering in one uplift.

The trail itself is fairly narrow, walk about 15 meters one way and you will see the faint outlines of a chain-link fences. On the riverside, you’ll catch sight of the railroads ahead, and on the roadside, the outlines of secluded houses, lights of vehicles driving by.

But this place, it felt like a little gem, one that, momentarily, was all my own. I knew that if I pulled up Google Maps, I would find this trail on the maps, and that if I searched it online, I would find the NYC Parks page for this trail, explaining in byte-form. The zoning, the planning committee, the pushback, et cetera. But it would say nothing about how it felt, walking through desolate suburban streets and posh gated lawns to then discover, without notice, relief. A windy green corridor, tucked by the river, rushing, still, roaring, quiet—all at once. 

I returned to the trail the next day, and the day after that. I found my legs craving, turning toward the park. One day during dinner, my mom inquired after where I went walking that day, and I mentioned that I went to Riverdale Park, by the river. They were puzzled – where?

Is it by the train station, my mom asked. By the train station, I sometimes see a little trail there and wonder what it is, she said, referring to the Riverdale Metro North station that services the Hudson Line, connecting Grand Central in midtown to Poughkeepsie up north in the valley.

No, I shake my head, no, thinking that she was referring to the pathetic concrete strip accessible to pedestrians by the train station. It’s basically a 15 meter long sidewalk with a single bench and overflowing trash cans where you might sit down and look over the Hudson. It’s certainly something, at least, but one cannot feel antsy, gazing upon the vast sweep of the Hudson while hemmed in by these arbitrary fences for “viewing.”  

Mine was a place that I had resisted placing on a map; it was this little gem of a shady glen pocketed into the outskirts of a suburb. It’s further south of here, next to Wave Hill, I said. You walked there? My dad asked, incredulous. Yes, I walked, I said, hiding my pride in my nonchalance. It’s only like twenty minutes.

Of course, my parents did not understand. They keep to their established routes – to the train station, to the field, to the grocery store. Whatever trail that my mom was referring to was not it. Besides, the trail was quite far from the train station – at least half a mile or so south of it.

I showed them the trail on Google Maps, pointing out the green rectangular patch. Ah, we have never been there, they mused. A week or so later, Saturday afternoon, instead of taking the car to the beach on Long Island, as is our tradition, we drove over to the trail. They were astonished when they arrived at the dirt entrance of the park.  A secret! They exclaimed. They’ve been keeping this a secret! Five years and we had no idea this place existed. Who would have known? So out of the way. Who was keeping this secret??

I chuckled at their astonishment, their indignation, that they had only now discovered this place. Part of my reaction is a weariness of knowing my parents calcified habits. They have lived in New York City for almost a decade now but still – my dad especially – are still suburban in their bones. Their favorite store remains Costco, where they shop at least once a week, despite having been empty nesters for more than a few years now. During the weekends, they drive up north to the suburbs to go hiking more often than they drive south to Manhattan for entertainment. The most urban that they venture is to the local Asian neighborhoods – Chinatown, Flushing, Elmhurst, for shopping and eating.

But their indignant exclamation, they’ve been keeping this secret! lingers with me and evinces, I think, a kernel of truth. If you zoom out from where I’m standing, in this little park in Riverdale, and run your eyes down the western length of New York City, you will see green hugging most of the coastline, corresponding to the richest zip codes in Manhattan. I think about the other, far larger and more famous park, Van Cortlandt Park, that sits next to the 242nd street subway station and attracts more populous crowds of Black, Latinx, Asian, and white residents, picnicking, playing baseball, soccer, flying kites, working out. Of course, Van Cortlandt has far more acreage and resources to avail itself to such recreation, but the park is well-trodden and busy, evidenced not only by the multitude of bodies but also the glass shards that depressingly litter its trails. Most of all, I guess, Van Cortlandt is unmissable, obvious, in plain sight. 

On the other hand, the trail running through Riverdale Park is sequestered away, on the margins with a nondescript entrance and overgrown signage. This trail offers the illusory feeling of having discovered it by yourself, a feeling of privacy within a public space. And within this privacy, unexpected and lively things emerge. But how might relishing the serendipitous joys of stumbling into one’s own world of green manifest not the sublimity of nature (or the self, touched by nature), but rather the hoarding of wealth, in its material and immaterial forms, across private and public lines? How might we deem both of these to be true and think of them together?  Things to keep thinking about…

[kansasjustgotgayer]

Its literally in the costco code of ethics to treat their employees well. It is their philosophy that when you hire good people and you pay them good wages, good things will happen.

Notice that it is only when all of those are met that shareholders are a priority. This is how you run a sustainable business. By treating the things you rely on as worthy of respect and attention. Also I do wanna say, the respect the law is not about cop worship. Its about not any cutting corners to make a profit no matter what, whether that be with produce, or forklift certification, or liquor licensing.

And Id like to share a small story about Costco because I work there. Because they dont stop at wages when it comes to keeping their employees wellbeing in mind. Recently in my city we had a water main break and it caused a boil advisory for our city.

This caused a LOT of people to come in panic buying (frankly way too much) water. They put a limit on it quickly so that we wouldnt run out too fast but the cheap kirkland water was sold out in hours leaving only a small amount of the most expensive brand by the end of the day.

On my break after close i went to get two cases for my family, only to be told by a manager to go to one of the coolers where they had saved two whole pallets of the affordable brand specifically for employees to be able to buy water for them and their families. Aside from the wages, the insurance benefits, and even Sunday premium pay, That was what told me they really care. Because that didn’t come from any company protocol, that came from a culture that thinks about the lives their employees have outside of the warehouse.

Also Costco has a union.

[larpgourmet]

Running a Meal Plan (Part 1)

So you like to cook, and you want to run a Meal Plan for your LARP. But where do you begin? If you’re reading this, you’ve probably never done anything like this before. (Or you have, and you felt overwhelmed when you did!) This is going to be something of a recurring thread, as I’m sure I’ll come up with more tips and tricks. But this first post is going to be where you should start for preparation -- and will hopefully serve as a sanity check to decide if this is something you’d like to take on for your LARP. If this is your first time ever running a Meal Plan, and you’re working alone, I would recommend capping yourself at 10 people (include yourself!) That’s more than enough to feed, and will give you an idea for what you’re getting yourself into. If you have a significant other or roommate who you trust to stick out any meal plan work with you at gathering, you can consider going up to 20 (10 people for every dedicated individual to the meal plan), but I might still say consider a cap of 10 for your very first game, no matter what. See how everything goes. Running a meal plan at game will mean that you miss a lot of action. You will need time to prepare, serve, and clean after every meal, and for a standard weekend LARP, that’s at least 4 meals (5 if you decide to do something for Sunday morning). You’re looking at about 2 hours per meal, minimum. Add an extra hour if you decide to go fancy. If you like to cook, and like the downtime of doing something more mundane between fights, then that might not be a deterrent for you! But I think it’s worthy of knowing before you start. Tip One: Enlist Help Yes, people are paying for your meal plan services (be sure to charge a little more than you pay for the food -- you are putting in time and effort even before you get to game, and you may also want to buy extras to make your life easier, or make your presentation more beautiful!) But -- if you are running this while also being a player, it is no fun to have to be alone while other things are going on. Consider having people on the meal plan sign up for shifts. They can help you cook and serve, or clean, or guard you in case enemies come up while you’re cooking. Either way, people will be around for you to RP with while food is being made, and that will be a HUGE help in making this experience more fun. Tip Two: Be Realistic with your Space If you drive a 2-door car to game, and are usually packed to the gills, take a step back before offering to run a Meal Plan. You’d be surprised at how much space meal planning eats in your car. On average, when I was running a meal plan, it was two coolers, an insulated cardboard box, a huge dry goods bag, and a campstove. Additionally, if you usually drive with other people, make sure they understand what you may be bringing, and that it may cut into any space they assume will be in the car. (Protip: If you agree to do this, get a photo of everything you’ll be bringing to share with your driving buddies, so they have a visual idea of the space you need each game.) Tip Three: Leave Yourself the Whole Week before Game Be done with your craft projects a full week ahead of game, so you have the week before game to shop, prepare, and organize your meal plan. Trust me, you will be much happier not trying to juggle crafting time and meal prep time. Tip Four: Make a Sample Menu, and “Buy” for It Make a shopping list for a sample meal plan, complete with amounts you will need to buy, and hit some of the stores in your area to see how much it would cost to purchase. See if you would benefit from having a membership to some place like Costco or Sam’s Club. Also see if ordering some of your ingredients online will save you any money. Dollars add up in the long run, and then you’ll know how much you want to charge to ensure you’re not footing any extra bill. Side Tip: Your first couple of Meal Plans are going to be MUCH more expensive than you expect, especially if you don’t often cook for yourself from scratch at home. Random things like oils, vinegar, and spices add up -- but often only need to be purchased once every couple of months or less, and then space themselves out for purchase afterwards. Don’t be discouraged if things feel expensive the first time. Once you have a good spice cabinet settled, and have all of the tools you need to make it easier, it will get cheaper. And you’ll get better at sourcing your fresh food on the cheap. When I became experienced at running a meal plan, I often hit four different stores the Sunday before gathering, because I knew who had the sales I needed. Tip Five: Get the Lay of the Land Ask other people who attend your game how they deal with logistics for food. Where do they dispose of their greywater? (Greywater, in case you don’t know, is generally it is defined as wastewater produced by appliances -- but in this use, we’re talking about wastewater that might contain soap, fats/grease, or salt. Not good for soil and plants at your site! Make sure you figure out a way to dispose of it safely.) Do they know of a good place to get electricity if you need it? What’s allowed in terms of campfires/cook tops? Don’t start planning for what you’re going to bring until you know what facilities are available to you. And be realistic about the openness of those facilities. If your camp site has a kitchen, how many other people are going to be trying to use it? Is there a schedule that you can take advantage of? If it’s first come - first served, you may want to plan to cook on your own cook top. Tip Six: Prepare to Tell Folks to Bring their own Services Don’t waste your money on disposable flatware and plateware. It’s a mess, and people are terrible for keeping track of their stuff. They’ll have half a drink of water out of one of your cups, and then throw it away. And then gods forbid anyone outside of your camp hears that you’ve brought extra cups. Impose an early rule that anyone on your meal plan needs to bring their own service (plate, bowl, mug, fork, knife, and spoon). You can provide napkins or papertowels, and a plastic tub for them to rinse or wash their own services when they’re done eating. Be sure to impose a rule that they have to clean their own dishes! Tip Seven: Plan for Incidentals There’s some random, and sometimes not so intuitive things you will want to have. Like I said above, plan to bring a big plastic tub to wash your dishes in, which means you’ll also need a way to have clean water to rinse your dishes, a sponge, soap, and a towel to dry them off with. You might also want your own trash bags (and some sort of collapsible trash bin), extra propane tanks (if you have a propane stove), matches, Sterno and Sterno stoves to keep things warm if you feel it’s necessary, atmosphere friendly serving bowls, and napkins or paper towels to clean up messes. Tip Eight: Keep a Journal You are going to need to be a business owner when it comes to the Meal Plan, so get some sort of book that can travel with you to game to help you out. For each meal plan, figure out how many people you can reasonably serve, and label those spots, writing in each person’s name until your slots are full. (And they will fill up, trust me.) Make notations whenever those people come to a meal to get food so that you know you’ve fed them. (This helps both to ensure everyone gets at least one serving before you give out seconds, and to help you track a friend down for meals if they’ve been skipping.) Make notes if someone is going to be on an NPC shift for a meal, or what assistance they’ve signed up for (see Tip One). Make additional notes if a person stiffs you on assistance or money. As much as it sucks to have to tell someone that you’re not going to offer your Meal Plan to them anymore, it’s good to have proof written down if someone is consistently not upholding their end of the bargain. Tip Nine: Try All of your Recipes at Home First The last thing you want to do is experiment with recipes when you’re feeding people. That’s just stressful. Cook everything at home first. See if you like the taste, make notes on what parts you want to make at home vs. what you will make at game. How can you make the recipe easier on yourself? Are there any allergens in the recipe? Tip Ten: Executive Decisions Are Your Friend Too many people try to decide things by committee. If you are running a Meal Plan, you decide what time the food is served, and you decide what is being offered. Avoid polls asking people what they’d like to eat, or when. It’s good to know if anyone has any hard food aversions or allergies, so you can plan for those -- but outside of that, let it just be your decision. Believe me when I say, it’s much easier on everyone.

[writingpromptswithkate]

Two Moons Are Better Than One

Part IV.

“Your neighborhood is so quiet,” Hannah remarked in a hushed voice as Nate pulled his truck into the driveway.

“It’s a little too quiet right now,” came Nate’s gruff reply.

Maybe he was just being paranoid. He was never home in the middle of the afternoon on a Thursday, maybe the level of quiet was normal. Maybe the terrier that barked all night was only able to do so because it slept through the day. That had to be it.

The power was out, he noticed immediately when he entered. Everything electrical has a hum: the fridge, the TV, the small orange nightlight plugged into the hall. It’s the kind of white noise thing nobody notices until one day it’s not there. Nate was acutely aware of the lack of it. No wonder the neighborhood felt too quiet.

He set Hannah in charge of the hall closet, where big Costco sized packs of paper towels and toilet paper rolls waited wrapped in plastic. It took her two fully loaded trips to get it all hauled into the bed of Nate’s truck.

Nate was making a rather more thorough tour of his house, hunting down blankets, camping gear, water bottles. He met Hannah in the kitchen. She had pulled in two coolers from the deck.

“I thought between your house and mine we could get these filled” she explained.

“Good idea. The cabinet to your left has nonperishables—grab that box of Ramen.”

“You need boiling water to make Ramen,” Hannah protested, but even as she said it Nate was pulling an electric kettle down from another cabinet.

“It’s for camping: electrical or battery. I know there’s bowls in the break room so no worries there...”

After the easy nonperishables they moved on to the produce. The vegetables would spoil quickly without power but fruit would hang on a few days either way.

“Do we have any idea what’s really going on?” Hannah muttered to herself over a small pile of apples.

“We really don’t.”

“All those people... Oh, Goddess.” Hannah sniffed and put her sleeve to her eye. She was not fully crying yet but she was close. “Do you think it has anything to do with that second moon?”

Nate shrugged. “I don’t see how it could. Yeah the extra light keeps me awake at night, but it’s not driving me that crazy. Not like... Robbie.”

At the mention of the name Hannah gave a loud dry sob. “Oh Robbie. That was awful.”

“He yelled at you and threatened to fire you,” Nate reminded her.

“Yeah but he didn’t deserve to die... You know? Back in the day? People used to think the moon caused madness. That’s why they called it lunacy, like lunar.”

“So twice the moons means twice the madness?”

Hannah flinched at his sharp tone, and he immediately felt ashamed of himself. He had to keep reminding himself that she was having an even worse day than he was. Speculating about the situation might not be helping, but snapping at someone who was already scared and upset was even less helpful.

“Sorry. It’s just, this Bird Box shit has me on edge.”

“Yeah. No, no worries,” Hannah mumbled. “Bird Box? You think it’s something like that? Monsters you can’t see until you can, or that manifest as your worst fear or whatever?”

Nate shrugged. “Honestly I have no idea. I don’t know if it’s the moon, or monsters, or a zombie apocalypse virus. I just know that people are dying and we have no idea what’s triggering it.”

“It seems like most of the people who’ve gone crazy so far did it while they were driving. But Robbie didn’t go anywhere today...?”

“We don’t know that. The people driving are just the ones who have caused damage, the ones people are tweeting about. Who knows how many more people are going crazy right now in their own homes?”

Hannah’s face turned grim. “We should hurry up and get to my folks.”

Nate could only agree. They threw the coolers into the back of his truck.

They tried to get the radio to work while Hannah directed the way to her house, but less than half of the usual stations were transmitting. Most of the ones that came through were in Spanish. The traffic advisory channel on AM came through, but there was nothing it could tell them that they could not observe with their own eyes.

Nate understood what Hannah meant by his neighborhood being quiet when he arrived at her house. Hannah and her family lived on the edge of a trailer park right off the highway; they would be subject to traffic and truck noise at any and all hours of the day.

Right now though, with the streets already clogged, with all the remaining traffic slowed down, and without the familiar hums of electricity, her neighborhood was also unnaturally quiet.

Or it was.

A gunshot sounded nearby. Right in front of them, actually. It came from Hannah’s house.

Stricken, Hannah fumbled for the door handle and practically fell out of the truck. She ran in a blind panic to her front door.

Nate was only a few steps behind her; he grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her back before she could touch the screen.

“Whoever. Is. In. There. Has. A. Gun.” He said each word deliberately. Hannah sobbed again.

“Mom. Dad,” she croaked pitifully. And Nate was not without pity. But he also could not let her run into danger blindly. It was a single-wide for God’s sake; where could she run? Where could she possibly hide?

An answering sob came from inside the house. It was, at first, inarticulate wailing. Like the cry of an inconsolable baby filtered through adult lungs. Gradually some words began to filter through the cries.

“Irene...” the voice cried out between blubbers.

Hannah began thrashing against Nate’s grip on her. “That’s my dad!” she screamed at him, just before breaking free and running into her house.

Nate hesitated for a second, torn between going after Hannah and protecting himself against being shot.

Hannah’s scream was the tie-breaker, and Nate tore after her without thinking.

Entering Hannah’s parents’ living room was like entering a labyrinth of dusty tchotchkes and brass picture frames that together covered so much of the walls you almost couldn’t tell what an unpleasantly dark, dated shade of fake wood paneling was under them. A kitchen to the right sported dark cabinets with brass hardware, and the trend continued down the hall to the left with paneled walls and brass doorknobs.

It was from that direction that Hannah’s scream had apparently come, and Nate threaded his way around small laundry piles and stacks of magazines until he reached the end of the hall.

The door to the master bedroom stood ajar, and just inside it: Hannah, standing with her back pressed against a picture frame on the wall, staring in mute terror at the floor.

Hannah’s mother, who must have been Irene, lay on the floor, dead or nearly so. She was surrounded by a pool and a spray of her own blood, her discarded oxygen tank a few feet away beside the bed.

And sitting on the bed, with hollow eyes and a decrepit hand wrapped around a 9mm pistol, was an old man. He was staring down at Irene in shock.

“Dad?” Hannah finally squeaked out. The old man flinched but he did not look up.

“Mr. Jennings?” Nate prompted. Hannah’s dad flinched again.

“Mr. Earl Jennings?” Nate said again, after a brief whispered appeal to Hannah for her dad’s first name. At the sound of his first name, he finally looked up.

“I had to do it,” he wheezed in despair. “I had to do it. She was going crazy. She was... oh, Irene.”

Nate turned toward Hannah, but her face was white and her lips were sealed, and she would not or could not speak.

“What do you mean, Mr. Jennings? What do you mean, she was going crazy?”

Mr. Jennings wailed. “She was talking all this crazy talk, about how the whole world had to be cleaned. She said she was going to the moon while the world was cleaned, and when it was done bein’ cleaned she was gonna come back and be queen here. On a new clean Earth. She was...crazy. She took off her oxygen mask and hit me when I tried to put it back on her.” And truly, ugly bruises were forming on Earl’s face and arms. “She started screamin’. And then. Then she just stopped. She went all silent and cold-like. Then she said. She said.” He paused.

“What did she say, Mr. Jennings?” Nate prompted after a few moments of nothing but Earl sobbing.

Earl took a shuddering breath. “She seemed calm. But she took a knife from the kitchen. And she said the world had to be cleaned, and she’d do the cleanin’ if she had to...Oh God. She was gonna kill me, I could see it in her eyes. Irene...” he broke off again into inarticulate wailing.

After a few minutes he subsided, and he finally looked up at Hannah. “I’m so sorry baby. I’m so sorry.”

He held the pistol up to his own temple and pulled.

Hannah screamed. Nate screamed. Earl did not scream. The force of the shot flung his body down against the mattress. The blood sprayed out and flicked all over Nate and Hannah’s clothes.

Nate turned as quickly as he could, threw his arms around Hannah and pushed her head against his shoulder, forcing darkness over her eyes. He was not quick enough to spare her the sight of her father’s death, but at least she would not be able to keep looking at it. It also prevented Nate from having to look at the body any longer than necessary. He was actually feeling like he might be sick if he did not get them out of this room quickly.

Hannah sobbed and screamed into Nate’s shoulder and alternated between struggling against his grip on her and clutching his shirt. She let him herd her out of the master bedroom, but her legs gave out in the living room and she collapsed onto the threadbare sofa.

She stayed there, curled up and sobbing, for at least another ten minutes. Nate was powerless to do anything but sit there next to her, trying as hard as he could to get the image of Earl’s last moments out of his mind. The image would not go away.

First Robbie, now Hannah’s parents. Was the whole world going crazy?

—the story continues—

<<Part III  | Part V>>