#cosmic consumption au | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wildemaven · 11 months ago

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you, me & john mcclane | dave york

→ pairing: dave york x f!reader

→ word count: 4342

→ content warning: 18+ blog; friends/idiots to lovers, mentions of food and alcohol consumption, blind dates, mentions of bad dating history, miscommunication, soft dave, carol and dave are divorced but rockstar co-parents, fluff, pining, reader is wearing a dress, no descriptive features of reader, die hard is a Christmas movie, equalizer 2 au, I think that's it but let me know if I missed anything

→ notes: im really hoping this reads well because i struggled getting it finished. words became rough to work with. part of the holi-dave universe, but can be read as a holiday one shot too. big thank you to @gnpwdrnwhiskey for listening to me ramble about these two!!! somewhat beta'd, but not entirely.

→ masterlist / holi-dave masterlist

5 minutes late. Not that you’re keeping track. Although, it’s hard not to when the hostess keeps checking in to see if your date has arrived because they can’t hold your table all night, as you wait in the front lobby of the restaurant. Actively trying your best to convince her your date should be arriving any minute— nearing 10 minutes late now.

You want to be annoyed. You want to call it a night, order your meal to-go, make the trek back home so you can slip back into something less revealing with more layers to fight off the almost freezing temperatures that you hadn’t accounted for when you got dressed earlier. Then once you’ve cocooned yourself in a blanket on the couch, you’ll call your friend and laugh at what a horrible matchmaker she is.

Blind dates have never been your thing. Sure, you have heard plenty of success stories from friends and family about meeting their partners on a blind date, falling in love and getting that happily ever after kind of romance that you’ve always wanted. But that's never been the case for you. You weren’t convinced blind dating would ever produce any sort of cosmic connection like you’ve always heard about. You could barely get a second date from the ones you’ve been on.

You decide to stay, give this whole thing a chance and see what happens— that is if he ever shows up.

The frigid air billows in at the opening of the restaurant door. The cold biting at the exposed skin your dress isn’t covering, as you curl into yourself, turning away to shield your body from the air that’s spilling through the entranceway.

You scan the restaurant for what seems like the hundredth time now. All the couples and families seated comfortably as they enjoyed their warm meals. Probably discussing their upcoming holiday plans and their excitement for the new year ahead.

Glancing down at your phone, it’s approaching 15 minutes late now. Sadness begins to settle in the pit of your stomach. Clearly this date isn’t happening tonight and it’s time to call it like it is, you got stood up— also not a first for you. You tuck your phone back into your purse and make your way over to let the hostess know that she can give your table away.

“Oh my gosh! Dave?” Recognizing a familiar face standing next to the ‘wait to be seat sign’.

“Hey— Hey! How are you?” He says with a smile, instantly moving in to give you a warm friendly hug. His cologne, all masculine and refreshing, wafts about as you lean into him— you envy whoever gets to revel in it tonight.

“I’m good, thanks.” You tell him, as you step out of the way of the couple who just walked in to check in for their reservation. “What are you doing all the way over on this side of town? You picking up dinner for you and the girls? They would love their chicken tenders, super crispy. Molly would love the garlic aoli, it’s really good.”

“Uh, yeah— I mean no, sorry. The girls are with Carol tonight. Things ran late at the office and I’m supposed to be meeting someone for dinner.” He doesn’t mean to be rude, his attention focused on glancing at the seated guests.

“Oh! Same. Except I’m not the one running late, my date is.” You glance back over your shoulder to the restaurant door, still no sign of your date.

“Oh yeah? Maybe he’ll have a good excuse when he shows up.” Dave says, giving the restaurant one last look before setting back against the wall to give you his full attention.

“I hope so, I’m starting to get hungry. Do you know what they look like? Maybe they’re somewhere else in the restaurant? I think there’s a back room through those doors.” You point towards the back of the restaurant. You’re in no rush to leave and start your sulking, so you might as well help a friend out.

“No. It’s a blind date. Literally don’t know a single thing about them. Was just told to be here at 5pm.” The opening of the front door grabs his attention, another well dressed couple enters. He breathes out a sigh, head falling back against the wall, wishing he was anywhere else but here waiting to have dinner and forced conversation with a stranger.

“Then how are you going to know if they’re here or not?” You laugh, situating yourself next to Dave on the wall.

“The dress. That was the only thing I told to look out for— that she would be wearing a brown dress.” He says casually as he checks the watch on his left hand.

A brown dress should be easy enough to spot. Taking a look around to see if you might have better luck spotting his brown-dress-wearing date. It’s nothing but bold reds, soft whites and classic black scattered through the room of guests— no brown dress in sight.

When the hostess glances over to you with her annoyed look, you decide to call it a night. Straightening up off the wall, you prepare to bid Dave a goodbye and make your way home to see what can be done to save the rest of your evening. You adjust your purse strap on your shoulder and start pulling at where the silky fabric of your dress had ridden up. Smoothing over the wrinkles to make sure it’s laying right. You freeze the second your brain registers exactly you’re wearing tonight.

You look up to where Dave is still standing, focused on the ground, hands folded together in front of him. Suddenly becoming keenly aware of every detail about him. Ones that you hadn’t bothered to notice or pay attention to when you said hello only minutes ago.

“Dave… you’re wearing a gray t-shirt and leather jacket.” Your voice barely above a whisper as you try to convey the realization that you’re starting to come to.

“Yeah. Carol told me to wear it. Said it made me look less CIA or whatever.” He pulls open the jacket front, revealing more of his shirt underneath, very much gray and definitely less CIA. He lets the jacket fall back into place, checking his watch for the second time.

“Dave…” Attempting to get his attention again. Your eyes widen once all the dots have been fully connected.

“Yeah?” Dave looks up from his watch, taking in your shocked expression.

“Dave, I’m wearing the brown dress Carol picked out for me— I’m your date, Dave.” His eyes trail down your body— brown silk dress. The same brown silk dress that Carol said his date would be wearing when he arrived at the restaurant tonight.

“Carol set us up?” You both say in unison.

Staring at each other, you’re both completely dumbfounded at the thought of being set up.

You met Carol by chance one morning 3 years ago at a local coffee shop you stop in everyday before work. It was unusually busy in the small coffee shop, which led to your orders being mixed up.

A 10 minute chat while you both waited for the kind baristas to remake your drinks quickly turned into a budding friendship between you. Purposefully arriving for coffee in the mornings so you could catch up on the latest news and tv shows you both loved before jetting off to work.

Before you knew it you were meeting up for dinner and drinks regularly, booking girls trips and attending concerts during the summer, but your favorite was joining Carol and her girls for movies and pampering.

When you met Carol, she had already been divorced for almost 3 years. You admired how well she was juggling life and work as a single mom. She attributed it to having a great co-parenting relationship with her ex-husband.

It was months later when Dave and you had officially met at a summer barbecue Carol and him were throwing for the girls and their friends. Inviting all the families to come enjoy the warm weather and grilled food. Carol had invited, forced, you come and hang out for a few hours. She insisted Molly and Alice had begged for you to be there, learning early on it was hard to tell either of them no.

Carol had warned you Dave was quiet. Reserved felt like a better description. Because with you, he was anything but quiet.

After helping Carol set out food and drinks, both of you retreated to a quiet spot on the porch as the chaos of tiny screaming girls took over the backyard. A comfortable silence between you once hello’s and brief pleasantries were shared.

Dave liked that about you, not forcing a conversation with someone just because you were in close proximity. He found that annoying with Carol’s other friends, always wanting to talk to him and never picking up on his lack of interest. He found you both had a similar aversion to groups of people you didn’t know. Watching the barbecue activities unfold from a distance and only making yourselves known when needed.

Silence was soon exchanged for friendly banter and bouts of laughter. The space between you had become nonexistent as you both shared bits of your lives. Walls began to fall. A sudden eagerness to know more about the worlds you both existed in. A full fledged friendship formed in a matter of hours.

From that day on, you were invited to all gatherings whether it took place at Carol’s or Dave’s homes. It became a song and dance of sorts. Always seeking each other out once things were in order. Finding a quiet place on the sidelines to avoid unwanted attention and small talk with literally everyone else.

Unbeknownst to Dave and you, Carol had been keeping tabs on you both over the years. She wasn’t blind to the bond that had quickly developed between you two. The small touches to Dave’s arm when you were deep in conversation. When you would lose yourself in laughter and lean into him when he said something funny. The way Dave’s hand settled against your lower back when he introduced you to someone you hadn’t met before. Carol’s favorite was how, aside from her and the girls, you were able to make him genuinely smile like no one had done in a long time.

It was after a recent failed date you had gone on, mentioning how hard it was to find someone decent enough to be in a relationship with, that Carol decided to take matters into her own hands. Conjuring up a plan to set you, her closest friend, and Dave, her ex-husband. A little nudge both of you seemed to need.

“Look, Dave. I completely understand if you’re not into it and want to leave. No hard feelings at all. But we’re already here and have a table waiting for us to enjoy ourselves— which I’m sure the hostess would love for us to either sit at sooner than later. So, maybe we just do that. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?” You find it hard to read his blank expression, hoping it’s just pure shock and not that he is repulsed by the fact that he was set up with you.

Are you even his type? Could he see something beyond just a friendship with you? Not things you had ever really worried about until just now. The thought of being rejected by not just someone, but by Dave had you distracted with embarrassment and worry.

A smile begins to form on his face, the tension he’d been wearing when he first arrived no longer evident now that he won’t be having dinner with just anyone, but with you— something the two of you have never done alone before tonight.

“I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be, now. Let’s go enjoy ourselves.” Sensing your internal panic he attempts to calm your nerves, reassuring you that he fully wants to be here. He takes a step closer to you, his hands curled around your shoulders, thumbs gently sweeping in over your bare skin in a back and forth motion. Worry melting from your face instantly.

“Okay.” Your head tilts to the side as you smile sweetly at him, taking in the softness in his eyes. There’s a part of you that’s sure nothing will come of this evening, just two friends merely entertaining the fact that they were set up. But you’d be lying if you said there wasn't a small part of you that bears hope for the possibility of something flourishing from this evening. Whichever outcome, you’re relieved it is Dave.

It’s not long until you’re seated at a small table for two, draped in white soft linens. The overhead lights set to a low muted level, allowing the tabletop candles to elevate the restaurant's evening ambiance. A musician sits at a small piano in the corner, playing a rendition of some holiday song, its nostalgic tune mingling with the hushed voices conversing about.

Drinks and warm appetizers placed among the candles, festive florals and white porcelain tableware. Your meals were discussed and deliberated then placed with the waiter, leaving you both alone in a hushed nervous state. Neither of you quite sure what to say, unsure whether or not you address the elephant in the room— Carol’s secretive matchmaking tactics.

“How are the girls?” You decide to stick to the safety of topics you both know. Hoping the ease of familiarity will lead to a more relaxed dialogue as the night passes.

“Good. They’re good.” He says, in a very to the point Dave response. The waiter breaks the stagnant bubble surrounding you to refill his water, Dave giving a nod of gratitude before directing his attention back to you.

“That’s good.” You quietly release a shaky breath.

“How’s work?” Dave asks after taking a sip from his glass of aged whiskey. He sets it back on the table, before relaxing back into the chair. His arm propped up by the armrest, chin resting between his thumb and forefinger and his eyes focused on you.

You briefly fixate on the flickering light that dances across his ambered irises, the glow of the candle’s flame reflecting in his eyes. A golden brilliance that’s so vividly captivating, you can’t help but feel the warmth that gleams from them— how have you never noticed their allurement before?

“Good. Great, actually. I got that promotion I was telling you about last month.” You don’t miss the way he immediately smiles at your answer.

“I knew you would get it. Congrats!” Dave is proud of you.

He had hoped he hadn’t overstepped when he encouraged you to apply for the position. Agonizing over it with him during a potluck dinner Carol had put together a month ago. You weren’t so convinced you had it in you, but Dave knew otherwise. He knew how hard it had been for you, working tirelessly to prove your worth in a male dominated field. But he also knew how well you held your own against the pressure of being scrutinized doing your job just because you were female. You just needed a little encouragement to make it happen, and Dave was more than happy to give it to you.

“Thank you.” You say gratefully. He raises his glass up to you, grabbing for your white wine, your glass meets his in a clinking celebration.

A rich note strikes from the piano. The warm cadence of a new song catches your attention, drawing you to look over at where the musician's hands move effortlessly over the keys. After a few chorus plays through the second half, you redirect your attention back to the table. Your heart flutters with vibrancy at the way Dave is already looking at you. A reverent gaze that gives you the idea that his eyes have been drawn to you the entire time.

“What?” You ask. Your playful confusion has Dave chuckling, his fingers rub steadily over his bottom lip.

“Nothing. Just—“ Dave knows the moment he says it, there’s no turning back. He’s been silently gauging your demeanor. Noting how you fiddle with the silverware when you’re talking. Or the way you look at him with a subdued intensity, not allowing yourself to truly express your feelings to him— or for him.

With a deep breath and burning confidence, Dave’s willing to take a leap of faith to break the nervous tension that is strung tightly between you both.

“Just what?” Encouraging him to continue. Your fingers twisting your napkin in your lap, each revolution pulling it tighter and tighter in your grip.

“Just admiring how beautiful you look right now. Something I never fully allowed myself to do before this evening.” He sees the way you react to his words. Relief or a validation of your own feelings.

“How come?” You have a feeling you already know, but you want to hear him say it.

“You’re Carol’s friend. I didn’t want to ever make you uncomfortable.”

“You’ve never made me feel anything but comfortable, Dave.” It’s the truth. You don’t think you’ve ever felt so comfortable or safe with anyone. “But I get what you mean. With you being Carol’s ex-husband and that unspoken understanding of respecting her boundaries as her friend. I guess I’ve always been happy with being just your friend, too. But clearly she has a very strong opinion about us though.”

You both laugh, knowing how determined Carol gets when she has a feeling about something.

You both take a moment. No words needed or spoken. Neither of you are willing to wipe the absurd smiles off of your faces, while you stare at each other with an unbridled sense of fondness. The rest of dinner carries on with a better sense of purpose and understanding between you both. Endless conversation exchanged well into dessert. An eagerness to know more about each other before the evening’s end.

It’s a velvety darkness that welcomes you the moment you both step out onto the sidewalk outside the restaurant. White tuffs of clouds drift through the sky, shrouding the moon and stars' usual intense glow for diffused lambency.

The town’s streets are filled with an abundance of Christmas lights hung from store fronts and wrapped around tree bases, providing a perfect backdrop for an after dinner stroll.

“Do you want to take a walk? Look at the lights before we call it a night?” Not really wanting to rush home any time soon, hoping to rack up more time with Dave as possible.

“Sure. Here, take my jacket though, you’re gonna freeze out here.” He could tell you were trying to bravely endure the cold air nipping at your bare skin, but the goosebumps covering your arms and the slight shivering would have you freezing in no time.

He doesn’t really give you an option, draping the leather jacket over your shoulders. The warmth is welcomed as you pull it tightly against you, grateful the moment a brisk breeze picks up and sweeps through the air.

“Thank you.” You say as you both begin to walk in step together down the festively lit sidewalk.

“Of course. Any time.” Dave says with a soft smile. His hands tucked securely into his jeans as he does his best to keep the chilly air at bay.

A group of carolers offer a special serenade of Christmas classics, Dave and you both stopping to enjoy the merriment their harmonies add to the atmosphere. Dave tosses a few generous bills into their tip jar before you both continue your stroll.

“What are your plans for Christmas?” You know him and Carol have a great system for the girls, always making sure they both get equal time with them.

“I get to have the girls Christmas Eve this year. Well open gifts Christmas morning and do our tradition of pancakes for breakfast before Carol picks them up.” You love that he has a special tradition with the girls, there isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for them.

“Carol said they’re asking for a dog this year?” Remembering how Carol had mentioned the girls had been begging for a dog for the better part of the year. So it was no surprise when you had heard they were forgoing Barbie’s and clothes in hopes to add a new furry companion to the family.

“Yeah. They sat us down last week with a full blown presentation on why they think we should get them one.”

“What was one of their reasons?” Knowing full well Molly and Alice probably had a decent list of all the reasons for getting one.

“I think the top reason was that a dog would make me less grumpy.” His brows pinch together with his signature grumpy expression, the reason seemingly obvious at this moment.

“Oh my god, Dave! They deserve a dog just for their efforts alone!” You bite back a snicker, loving how the girls didn’t hold back one bit. Although, you do find his grumpy expressions cute and charming.

“Go on, laugh it up.” He shakes his head at your teasing. “What about you? Do you have any plans for Christmas?” Dave asks. His shoulder lightly bumps against you as you continue to walk in a close proximity to him.

“If you call feasting on a rotisserie chicken straight out of the container while rewatching Die Hard an unhealthy amount of times, plans— then yes, I have plans.” You try to say with a straight face, but fall into a fit of laughter when you see the empathetic look on Dave’s face. “I’m kidding, mostly. I usually spend Christmas with my parents, but they’re out of town this year. So it’s just me— and John McClane.”

“Hey.” Dave grabs your hand, pulling you to a stop with him. His eyes flitting over your face, his thumb brushing over the top of your hand he’s still holding. “Why don’t you come over once Carol gets the girls. I can make dinner and we watch Die Hard a healthy amount of times together, if you want?”

There’s a warmth that radiates through you at his offer. You feel giddy at the thought of spending Christmas, alone, with Dave. You don’t know quite yet what this thing that’s blooming between you is, but you trust that Dave will catch you— especially with how you’re thoroughly falling for him.

“I’d love that— oh shit! Dave, come here!” Your hand now wrapped around his as you try to pull him from where he’s standing. His stubborn body is rooted in place, not moving as you continue to hold him while looking at something overhead that caught your attention.

Dave catches your line of sight. Looking up to see a bundle of mistletoe hanging from the shop sight you both were standing under. He looks back to you, panic stricken by the sight of the green foliage dangling above. He steps closer to you, his lopsided grin slowly becoming a more pronounced smile.

“Dave, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s just silly mistletoe.”

“Isn’t there some sort of thing about bad luck if we don’t?” He slowly starts to lean in towards you, his eyes searching for any kind of hesitation in yours.

“I don’t think that’s a thing.” You murmur. Your stomach flips with anticipation.

“I guess there’s only one way to find out.”

His lips are softer than you could ever have imagined. For even the briefest of kisses, it feels electric and warm.

Dave pulls back slightly, his gaze oscillating between your lips and your eyes, taking in the blissed out look you have. Silent confirmation that you were craving it as much as he was.

It’s dizzying passion when Dave’s lips crash into yours. One of his hands cradles the back of your head as the other snakes around your lower back, pulling you flush against him. Taking advantage of the way your mouth opens for him, his tongue moving over yours with a fiery fierceness.

It feels right and perfect as you continue to revel in the way he deepens the kiss with each passing breath. His jacket falling from your shoulders to the ground as your hands clutch firmly at the front of Dave’s t-shirt. Your mind is a fuzzy mess of thoughts, swirling about, all focused on Dave and this monumental release.

A whine escapes when Dave pulls away for the second time. His forehead resting on yours. Mouths hanging open, vapor puffs hitting the cold air as you both try to catch your breath.

“Dave York. Great conversationalist, devoted father, devastatingly handsome and exceptional kisser— checks all my boxes.” You purr at him.

“Hmm. The first two seem like a given. Handsome?” Asks as he continues to hold you close to him.

“Mmhmm.”

“And what was it? Exceptional kisser?” Cradling the side of your face, recalling exactly how you described the kiss.

“No complaints from me. At all.” Your teeth catching your bottom lip, arms wrapping around his neck, fingers tangling in his soft chestnut hair.

“Not a single one?” His nose gently nudges against yours.

“Well— maybe one. My only complaint would be if you never kissed me again.” You shake your head. The thought of never feeling his lips against yours again would be soul crushing.

“I guess it’s a good thing I look forward to doing it again.” He assures you.

“That so?”

His fingers lightly grip your chin, bringing your lips closer to his. This time the kiss is slower, gentle, still conveying just as much affection and intentness as before.

“I definitely could get used to more of that.” You say breathlessly.

“Yeah? How about we take things slow? You promise me another date. I’ll promise to keep kissing you— exceptionally well.” A promise he’s more than willing to keep.

“I like the sound of that.” Pulling him back for another kiss.

#dave york #dave york x reader #dave york x you #dave york x female reader #dave york x f!reader #pedro pascal #wildemaven holi-dave #wildemaven writes #pedrostories

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linonyang · 1 year ago

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[19:42] bang chan

pairing: non-idol!bang chan and gender-neutral!reader

genre: fluff, established relationship, domestic au, college au

warnings: none

word count: 1.7k words

note: hello i am back! here’s a quite messy and somewhat plotless fic (bc i’m kinda rusty rn in terms of writing rip) that i just did on the spot jhsdfjfadsfa i’m still working on some of my wips so i wrote this for now! i also decided to write this bc i relate with reader enjoying being alone lol i hope you enjoy somehow :DD

tag list: @awooghan @hwangsify @xiaoderrrr @cosmic-railwayxo

It felt relieving to spend an afternoon class alone after spending most of your morning classes with classmates with whom you had no choice but to talk. To sit on your chairs and endlessly communicate with many of them was so exhausting until the point where you’d jokingly admit that you don’t want to talk to anybody for thirty business days to recharge.

Perhaps, it’s not a joke at all?

You’re finally on your way back to your apartment after spending a few hours walking around the campus, cooling down in the library, and finding something to eat for dinner on your own. You did not forget to buy food for two, since somebody’s waiting for your presence in that apartment of yours.

To be frank, Chan totally understood your eagerness to spend some time alone after your classes. He isn’t the type of person who feels tempted to not attend another daunting set of classes the next day just because he’s overwhelmed. He doesn’t get overwhelmed in public settings easily, especially since he is used to being surrounded by people.

Chan has known you for so long that he understands how you work as a human being.

He always waits for you at your apartment until sundown so he can bring you—in a way better mood, obviously—in his arms. If his last class in the morning finishes earlier than usual, he could grab you away from your friends for a comfortingly silent lunch if you’re not feeling to talk to any of them. He will always understand every time you send a text message that you want to spend time with him instead of other people.

It's really because he knows and understands you so well.

When you push your door open to your warm abode, Chan greets you with a lovely smile and long arms wide open. You drop your takeout food on your desk, walk up to him, and fall down onto him where he is, lying on your bed.

“This feels so good…” you drag your voice, almost feeling like you’re embraced by cotton. Chan chuckles and ties his arms tighter around you. “That project we did almost ended me, I had to buy some chicken wings to celebrate my survival,” Chan hears your muffled voice as you rub your face on his soft hoodie.

Chan traces shapes on your back and grins. “You did very well, love. You really deserve those chicken wings,” he almost cracks up at your choice of reward. “But first of all, why chicken wings?”

You snort and look up. You almost forget to answer him after staring at his angelic face for a few seconds. Fixing your position, you propped yourself on your elbows, your body still on top of his.

“Love, can’t I eat something delicious after constantly injecting myself with caffeine in my blood for the past weeks?” you can’t help but giggle at the sight of Chan sighing in disappointment. “I worked hard for that project! If I slacked off by sleeping all day, maybe things wouldn’t be as decent as what happened earlier,” you tell him. Moving some of his curls away from his eyes, you continued, “The coffee was worth it to some extent, I believe.”

He hums, “I believe I need to monitor your caffeine consumption over the next few days, baby.” Chan raises his eyebrows obnoxiously, “And let you eat more chicken wings instead. Is that okay?”

Your eyes light up at the idea of someone else paying for your food, “Yeah, as long as I’m not the one paying!”

He lets go of one of his hands on your back to gently caress your cheek. “So…” he drags his low voice, eyes glinting, making you chuckle in amusement, “Am I allowed to steal you from your friends for the whole month?”

Chan fondly gazes at the sight of joy reflecting on your face, not minding your last statement. He has been so happy being in a relationship with you. He loves you and your whole soul, and he’d treasure all of the times he gets to see your smile. He would give you the world just to give you the joy you deserve after every slump and hurdle you need to pass through. The world has been rough on you, and all he hopes is that he’s someone you can rely on just to feel comforted and validated.

“They’re going to make fun of me when they’ll know that I will abandon them for you,” you shortly stop there to tease him. Chan interprets this as a no from you, and he frowns. “But hey, I’m going to be with you, and I’d love that more if I’m being honest. So, yes, please take me away and bring me everywhere you want to go,” you finally continued.

Chan squeals and returns his arms around you to embrace you tightly once again. “You’re going to stick with me for a very long time, I’m very excited.” He continues to embrace you and rock you together side to side in delight.

You nuzzle his neck and agree, “But can I do the same stuff after class?”

“Oh, your alone time, you mean? Yeah, that’s absolutely fine,” he smirks, “unless you are okay with a clingy man silently following you around…”

You lightly bite his shoulder in response, Chan yelps and laughs. Your actual answer right beside his ear, “I guess that wouldn’t be that bad, right? If the love of my life is the one behaving like the dog he is, I wouldn’t mind him joining me in my alone time.”

“You’ll never let that dog thing die, aren’t you?” Chan remembers that you’re such a tease, and that’s just how you return the same energy since he does joke around with you quite a lot.

You nod in agreement. “You’re my pet, and I’d love to take care of you. I never knew you could bark like an actual dog!”

“I was communicating with Jisung’s dog, _____! He wouldn’t understand if I speak to him in English,” Chan excuses.

Cackling, you bring yourself up, away from Chan’s arms. “Oh, shut it! You tried so hard to act like a dog, it was cute and funny,” you respond.

Getting out of bed, you reach for the takeout on your table, “Let’s have our dinner in a bit!” You hear your boyfriend groaning and complaining for a solid ten minutes during your whole preparation for your dinner.

When you place the final piece, the glasses, on the table, you feel arms laced around you once again. Chan’s now the one nuzzling your neck, and you can’t help but mumble in amusement, “You are so clingy today, love. Did you miss me that much?”

“I… really do miss you, baby,” he softly spins you around to face him. “And today, maybe I kind of feel the same way as you feel usually, I realized I didn’t have that much time with myself or you today, so I feel like staying with you tonight.”

It is real that birds flock with the same feather. Not that you expected Chan to keep up with the same amount of energy every day, but you know times like this hit him once in a while.

He recharges with you.

You let him stay whenever he wants to be with you for the whole night. Aside from bonding through dinner and dishwashing, you two also get your own peace by doing your own work. It’s a win-win, you once said before, when Chan was feeling clingy like he is right now and both of you are in your own battles—dealing with final exams and projects. You spent the night typing away in your laptops and highlighting a stack of books and ending the day in each other’s arms.

He is so grateful that he gets to stay with you.

You reach for his hand and peck on his tender cheeks. “We’re in this together, I guess,” you purse your lips. “So don’t worry, we have the whole night together as usual. When you wake up tomorrow, I’m still beside you, okay?”

Chan nods and thanks you, pulling the nearest chair for you to sit on. He sits on the chair beside you and lets you put your leg on top of his.

Small acts like this make Chan fall in love with you all over again. There are things that you do that are reserved for him and him only. Those were signs that you’re his and he’s yours.

“Thanks for the dinner, _____,” he mumbles, slowly moving his head on your shoulder. “I’m going to start stealing you from your friends tomorrow, we’ll have lunch together, my treat,” he glances at your face above his. You nod your head and smile in approval, feeling thrilled that you’ll be with him once again, away from many people.

In a world where you get crushed by the weight of demands and pressures, you get to take your time and slow down at night with him. Perhaps you can conclude that Chan being with you hits differently than being alone. His presence is enough for you to feel better, and you hope your own presence can heal him to some extent like what you’re doing right now.

Awaiting by the dark night is the sight of the two of you, snoozing together under the blankets. The skies are pleased with the sight, and they want to give you a night without peril—silence, tranquility, and a beautiful sun to awaken you later on.

When your eyes open, you are welcomed by an adorable snuggling Chan, both arms and legs clinging onto you. You find your phone to check the time, and you decide to give yourself more shut-eye, it is too early to get up and prepare for another exhausting day after all.

Both of you are obviously not ready to face another day, but you two get to return home to see each other, and maybe that’s enough for you to go through the taxing mornings.

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doc-knock-out · 1 year ago

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Doc Presents....

We’re REBOOTING, fuck yeah! THE DARK DOCTOR AU is a Transformers; Prime plot divergence au. (I thought of something I like better than canon, @tere706 agreed, this au was the result.) In this AU, the events of S2 E12 “Tunnel Vision”, and the failure Knockout experiences are treated with a far harsher punishment than some cosmetic damage - Megatron forces Knockout to consume a unit of Dark Energon, heightening his physical combat skill at the cost of his mental stability. Starscream is an unwilling witness to the events that unfold. ACOLYTE is the reimagining of this au, and serves as my personal self-indulgence into various writing themes, narratives, and philosophies. Within this AU, we will explore the concepts of mortality, unreliable narrators in past and present, and how multiple perspectives change the interpretation of intention.

A BASIC PLOT SUMMARY BELOW THE CUT! (TL;DR - Knockout drinks the Unicron Kool-Aid)

The disruption of the plot begins to unravel at this point, the action of casting a stone into the time stream has split off a river of consequences. In the Acolyte AU, Knockout’s consumption of Dark Energon is seen as successful after his first mission under the influence. After terrifying the Autobots and successfully securing a particular relic, Knockout finds that his body is slowly adapting to the new fuel source. Knockout begins to consume more fragments of Dark Energon in secret. The more he consumes, the clearer that little whisper in his processor becomes... a voice, whispering cosmic secrets and promises of the power to protect those he cares for. And when the newest recruit to the Decepticons isn’t able to protect themselves, well, someone has to. Actions that occur throughout the plot eventually come together, orchestrating the rise of a new historical era. History is a very prevalent factor of this au, and a primary plot point involves the questioning of Cybertron’s history. Many cultures and records are influenced by those who are in power at the time, and Cybertron is no different. This AU will propose an alternative history to the widely accepted (canon) history of our beloved robotic friends. We will meet many new faces. Not all of them are human, not all of them are Cybertronian, and only some are friendly.

#tfp #tfp tddau #tfp acolyte au #transformers #Transformers Prime #tfp webcomic #tfp knockout

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shallowseeker · 1 year ago

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I couldn't remember either, but I had to go and look, and it's like this in the actual episode:

SAM: Wait a second. I got something. Okay, two hours ago, there was a massive power outage in the Pacific Northwest.

MARY: Sounds like the right kind of weird.

SAM: Oh, yeah. Wait. They tracked the outage to an address in North Cove, Washington, to a house currently being rented by one James Novak.

DEAN: That's Cas. Let's roll.

The cabin itself is marked by paintings of turbulent waters, too. It's fascinating, isn't it? If Jack ever went back to such a place, it would be so bittersweet. It's an eloquent nod to Jack in relation to the Earth and his comparably *mortal* family. It's so sad and beautiful...

And if we go back to Jack + cryptid theme. Atlantis and Nephilim are very culturally linked in imagination. And this has such Atlantis overtones. (Not to mention, in 12x19 The Future script, Kelly was linked to the ocean/sea...)

youtube

(It was intended as a luxury beach destination. ARGH. Kill me now.)

youtube

And make no mistake, so much of Jack's family is overtaken by such forces. When possessed by AU Michael, Dean is overtaken by drowning. He's afraid of the storm outside. And Cas, too, in many ways embodies the storm but is consumed by black-as-night "cosmic oceans."

To say nothing of coffins (Ma’lak boxes) and oceans… Dean was to go into the Ma'lak box and go to the bottom of the ocean. Of the three of them, Dean had the strongest Ma’lak box-and-ocean link. (It seems as if Cas was buried: “Ever since the Mark made Cas go crazy? Ever since I had to bury him in a Ma'lak box?") And it doesn't appear there were solid plans to take Jack-in-the-box to the ocean or to bury him but to keep him in the bunker, entombed.)

Perhaps Jack himself is a stand-in for this universal ocean, doomed to consume the very things he loves. After all, he consumes AU Michael, scores of angel hearts, and perhaps even Chuck and Amara. (Elegant nod to what happens to the garden when we overconsume.)

The ocean was a double-edged sword for the people of biblical times. As it offered a plentiful source of food, it often was a deadly endeavor for many marine voyagers. Frequently mentioned as a symbol of death, the ocean inhabited many dangers from stormy seas to warring enemies. Water has an inherent duality in relation to man as a giver and taker of life.

Or perhaps the ocean is what life's all about. It represents the cycle of time. It's great and terrible. It's frightening. It's soothing. We cannot tame it. We long to be near it. It represents hunting and fishing--terrible things for those caught in the lower rungs of the process of consumption, but necessary for life.

1 Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. Revelation 21:1

Perhaps this is why the story of SPN "ends," when Cas (Heaven) and Dean (Earth) die--the story was in the rebellion of Heaven and Earth striving towards each other. There exists after that only a moratorium of story, where we observe Sam (remainder of Earth) and the ghostly specter of Jack (remainder of Heaven) floating through the cycle of life, but importantly, they are separate. No struggle, no story.

///

(North Cove is an unincorporated community in Pacific County, Washington. North Cove is mostly residential, with some vacation rentals and a general store being the only commercial properties. The community suffers from the extreme coastal erosion of Cape Shoalwater, which has been diminished drastically in size, with the ocean claiming dozens of structures over the last 100 years and remaining a substantial threat.)

The eerie tale of North Cove and Washaway Beach

#prev #i remember the strangest things #was always fascinated by washaway beach #i think that's why it pinged my brain #i think it was an atlas obscura episode or something #Youtube #jack has good themes #and they're intentional

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sunshinebuckybarnes · 3 years ago

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A couple of days late but I've been on holiday so it's allowed! As always please check individual warnings for each fic. You are responsible for your own media consumption. This blog, and the majority tagged, are 18+ only and most of these fics contain adult themes.

Make sure you give these incredible writers some love and reblogs 🪐

Andy Barber & Frank (Endings Beginnings) ✨

*The bar by @ramp-it-up

Barkeep! Andy Barber x Reader x Frank (Endings, Beginnings)

Bucky Barnes ✨

Foolish heart by @jadedvibes

Beefy neighbor!Bucky x reader

Love bomb baby by @ussgallifrey

80s Rockstar!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

If it were summer by @pellucid-constellations

College!Bucky x reader

All this time by @jobean12-blog

Bucky x female!reader

Kiss kiss bang bang by @jobean12-blog

Bucky x reader

Fire on fire by @sinner-as-saint

Firefighter!Bucky x Reader

The princess and the pirate by @bonky-n-steeb

Pirate!Bucky x female reader

You're the glitter in the dark by @musingsinmoonlight

Bucky Barnes x female reader

Red lace by @buckies-dolle

Bucky x fem!reader

Chubby Baker Bucky by @angrythingstarlight

Chubby Baker Bucky x Reader

You are in love, true love by @blushingbucky

bucky barnes x f!reader

Nothing holding me back by @bonky-n-steeb

roommate! alpha! bucky x omega! reader

Tardy by @bemine-bucky

college!bucky x college!reader

Cosmic love / the gravity between us by @jobean12-blog

Bucky x reader (College AU)

Artist Bucky by @angrythingstarlight

Artist!Bucky x Reader

*Undisclosed by @pellucid-constellations

Lumberjack!Bucky x Reader

Sleepless nights by @kikixreverie

Roommate!Bucky x Fem!reader

Ari Levinson ✨

*The tip of his tongue by @angrythingstarlight

Beefy Biker Ari x Reader

*Boys in bed with books by @jobean12-blog

Ari Levinson x reader

Sam Wilson ✨

Sunlight by @musingsinmoonlight

Sam Wilson x female reader

Nick Fowler ✨

My skin on yours by @maladaptivexxdaydreaming

bodyguard!Nick Fowler x Reader

Fair play by @jobean12-blog

Nick Fowler x reader

Steve Rogers ✨

If I could touch you by @musingsinmoonlight

Steve Rogers x female reader

Johnny Storm ✨

*Boys in bed with books by @jobean12-blog

Johnny Storm x reader

Thor ✨

Miss your kiss by @musingsinmoonlight

Thor Odinson x female reader

Lee Bodecker ✨

Show me who's the sheriff of this town by @summerofsnowflakes

Lee Bodecker x Fem!Reader

Andy Barber ✨

*Cruel daddy by @onsunnyside

boyfriend's dad!Andy Barber x reader

Little star by @kinanabinks

Andy Barber x pornstar!reader

Marc Spector / Steven Grant ✨

Eclipsed by @lex-the-flex

Marc Spector x reader

Bad knight, good knight by @babyboibucky

Marc Spector x Fem!Reader (feat. Steven Grant)

Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers ✨

*Stockholm syndrome by @amythedvdhoarder

Dark Stucky x Reader

Peter Parker ✨

Terrible thing by @inklore

peter parker x (f)reader

Curtis Everett ✨

*Out of darkness by @jtargaryen18

Curtis Everett x reader

#april fic rec #fic rec #andy barber #frank endings beginnings #bucky barnes #ari levinson #sam wilson #nick fowler #steve rogers #johnny storm #thor #lee bodecker #marc spector #steven grant #peter parker #curtis everett

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cosmic-consumption-au · 5 months ago

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✨Cosmic Consumption Masterpost✨

Chapters:

Something's Mending

Lost In Your Own Head

Meanie Parents

The Stars Are Falling

A Pleasant Distraction

A Two Star Consolation

To be continued...

Extras:

Ao3 Link

Discord Link

#Cosmic Consumption au #Cosmic Consumption #Isat Cosmic Consumption #isat au #isat fic #in stars and time #isat #in stars and time au

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keyks-art-zone · 5 months ago

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I don't think Bonnie likes Oublier....

(Oublier is an ISAT OC from Cosmic Consumption...I hate them...)

#my post #in stars and time #isat #isat cosmic consumption #isat au #isat memes #animation #isat animation #isat bonnie #isat boniface #isat oublier

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jayswifeuwu · 3 years ago

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It’s beautful, it’s bittersweet.

Chapter 5

•Pairing: Captain of the football Team! Park Jongseong × fem! Reader / High school crush! Park Jongseong × fem! reader ft. Jake and Sunghoon.

•Genre/Theme: College/ University AU, Lots of Angst, smut, non-con, Dark, a bit of fluff.

-This chapter contains smut and other 18+ details, so MINORS STRICTLY DNI-

•Warnings: A lot of Angst, (TW) sexual harassment, (TW) depression, anxiety. Jay is the reader's crush since high school. The reader has and will be going through a lot of dark stuff in this fanfic. Use of foul language. Will be mentioning warnings in every chapter.

•Chapter Warnings: smut, usage of the words "sweetheart" and "baby", aftercare, a bit of fluff I guess, alcohol consumption, loss of virginity, harassment, thoughts to kill yourself,Foul language. Let me know if I missed anything.

Word count: 2.7k +

A/n: Hey guysss! Finally back with chapter 5. I'm really sorry for the delay. Lots of shit going on I'm my life rn, so I really didn't have the time to post anything. I will try to post more often from now on. Here's chapter 5 for y'all, enjoy 🥺 also, please do reblog if you like this ^^ would really help me a lot.

You can find the other chapters of this story here

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He kissed you with no sense of his surroundings. The kiss tasted salty from his

tears, but you didn’t care. His tongue explored your mouth as you let out soft moans. He wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close to his body as his other hand cupped your face, lightly brushing your cheek. The proximity between you both was cosmic. You could feel his heartbeat against yours, and the heat between you both increased making the two of you lose track of time. His jaw moved amazingly fast as he ate your lips out while he slowly pushed you towards his bed.

This was it, this was what you ever wanted. You never wanted this moment to end and neither did Jay.

But you wanted more, something in you craved Jay like never before…

He was an artist. His lips were the paintbrushes that left the most beautiful pieces of artwork all over your lips and neck as you gasp from the euphoric sensations while he hits the sweet spot on your neck. He slowly climbed over you as you slept on his bed and continued to kiss you. He was gentle, yet made such a deep impact on your body. You could feel yourself getting wet as he continued to eat your lips out. You knew your loud breaths of pleasure turned him on as you felt him harden against you. His hand moved towards your T-shirt to unbutton it, not before he paused to look into your eyes for consent. You smile and nod your head and before you know it, his lips were against yours again. His fingertips brushed your cheeks and you loved the way his mere touch made you feel. Within seconds, your T-shirt was off and you were sitting on Jay's lap with your legs wrapped around his hips as he took his time to enjoy tasting your lips with his hand in your hair and the other on your ass.

Jay's hands slowly reached to your bra and with one finger, he unhooked it. He slowly removed your bra off each of your shoulders leaving trails of kisses on them as he did so. Your hands reached the hem of his shirt as you quickly took it off. With one hand around your waist, He pulls you close to his chest, leaving no contact between your upper bodies, he continued to kiss you.

He gently places you on your back as he moves his way downwards towards your breasts. He grabs one of your breasts and gently sucks on the other. Your nipple hardens in his mouth causing his member to twitch. By the time he's done, he leaves marks all over your upper body. He slowly removes your pants along with your panties and stares at you with admiration as he plants a kiss on your inner thigh. He slowly works his way up to your lips as he gently kisses your belly button, your breasts, your neck, your ear, and finally your lips. As he sucks on your nape, you flinch for a second making him stop. He looks at you. You started to sweat and shiver, embarrassed of the fact that you're a virgin and Jay has probably done this more than you'll ever know.

"Um. Jay, I...I've...never....this.....is...my."

He lifts your chin with his fingers and smiles. "Don't worry baby girl, I'll go slow."

He pulls you into a kiss again, as his fingers find your clit and he starts rubbing circles around it. You feel his fingers slowly trail to your opening as he slowly slides his finger into your hole and starts to fuck you. You arch your back from the harsh pleasure that his fingers are making you go through as you moan his name.

"Jay..." You moan in ecstasy.

He inserts another finger and increases the pace of his thrusts.

"Fuck Y/n, you calling out my name like that is how I wanna hear it forever," he whispers in your ear.

The knot in your stomach slowly began to tighten.

"Jay, I... I'm gonna.."

"What's that baby? you're gonna cum.?"

"Y-Yes." you moan.

That was when Jay pulled out both his fingers and got up from the bed. You give him a questioned but desperate look.

Jay looks at you and smirks while he takes off the rest of his clothes revealing his hardened cock. He reaches to the drawer and takes out a foil packet and tears it open with his mouth. He adjusts the condom over his dick and climbs on top of you, locks his fingers with yours, and placed your hands on top of your head. The coldness of his stainless steel necklace bit your skin, but you loved it. He looks into your eyes with the same look he had the first time you both kissed.

"Do you know how long I've waited for this moment y/n?." He moaned as he massaged his tip on your core.

You pull his face closer to yours and whisper in his ear, "Show me, Jay."

He gently kissed your forehead and he then thrusts into you with one push. You moan loudly as your hands grip his tightly over your head. He doesn't move and looks at you with concern for consent to continue. You take time to adjust yourself to how big he is and then nod at him to continue. Without wasting even a second, he thrusts into you again making you moan loudly.

He first moved at a slow pace for you to get used to him. His eyes never left yours as you showed visible signs of pleasure and pain but most importantly, you showed how much you wanted him and how much you love him. It drove Jay crazy cause no girl ever looked at him with love. He always assumed every girl was interested in him for only his fame or cause he looked good.

He brings his hand to your chin and starts to kiss you. His member twitched as you moaned in his mouth making him fasten his pace. You could hear your skin clap against his as he fucks you to ecstasy. You never wanted this moment to end. You could feel the knot in your stomach tighten again as you moaned Jay's name again.

"Fuck you fit me so well babe." Jay hisses.

"Jay..I'm gonna cum." You moan as you could feel your legs becoming numb from your nearing high.

"Wait for me baby, let's cum together," Jay says with a shaky voice.

He continues to fuck you hard as you leave marks with your nails on his back. He hisses with pleasure at your touch. Jay's pace started to become uneven.

"Cum for me sweetheart." He breathes into your ear as your fingers dig deeper into his skin.

"Fuck, Jay...." You scream at your nearing high.

"Cum all over my cock baby." Jay hissed as you both reach your highs together.

The knot in your stomach burst into an ocean of Euphoria that rushed out of you. You both were breathing loud and heavily as he brushed your cheek to comfort you. Jay kissed your forehead and slowly took his member out of you as he got up. Your legs felt numb. You wanted to get up, but you couldn't. Jay put on his boxers after the disposing of the condom, left the room, and came back after ten minutes with a plate and cloth. He gives you the plate of watermelon slices and sits between your legs and starts to clean you. You look at him with a puzzled expression.

"You made quite the mess." He chuckled as he continues to clean you.

You turn beet red of embarrassment as you look down biting your lip.

"Hey, no...I didn't mean it that way." He gushes as he found you cute when you're shy.

"Eat, you must be tired," he says as he comes next to you.

You knew he was looking at you, but you just couldn't make eye contact with him. You knew you would be on your knees for him if you took one look at those ocean eyes of his. You gulp and look at the plate and start eating the watermelon pieces.

You bit the fruit and the juice dripped over your lips. You reach your hand to your face to wipe it off, but jay held your hand and licked the juice off your lips as you flinched your shoulders together at his sudden movement. He smirked at you as he licked his lips.

You finish eating and place the plate next to the bed, and look at him and he's still staring at you. You blush.

"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful and irresistible you are y/n?" Jay says as he comes close to your face as you look down, avoiding eye contact. He cups your face with his hands.

"Look at me." He says. You slowly look into his eyes. as he pulls you in for one last kiss.

"Goodnight beautiful." He whispers into your ear.

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You woke up the next morning to find Jay, not in the house. You found a note next to the bed.

Going for football practice, Nessa will pick you up for college. You can wear my clothes for now. -Jay.

was all you heard from him since morning, and it was already evening. Something about the way Jay was with you was different, you could feel it. Although it was your first time, you could tell that this wasn't the type of sex Jay usually has. You knew he did sleep with multiple women before, but all of them were either friends with benefits or random party hookups. You wondered what happened last night, what made you give in to Jay, what made you both so desperate for each other. You were also worried about what this would do to You and Jay.

"Am I just another one of his random hookups?"

"Did Yesterday mean something to Jay?"

"Does he like me?"

You were lost in these thoughts for the whole day. You wore one of Jay's hoodies making you look extremely small. You wore your jeans as his were too long for you. You got a lot of stares from the people at your University as they all knew what you wore was Jay's Shirt.

You decided to hide in the library to drown your thoughts into some good fiction by Cornelia Funke, also because not a lot of people hang out in the library so technically, it was a safe spot for you to escape all the awkward staring from people. You receive a text from Nessa.

Nessa: Sorry B, I've extra classes. I'll meet you tomorrow.

You: Can we go shopping Ness? A lot of people are staring at me, and it's awkward, cause it's Jay's shirt and they know it.

Nessa: Sure thing girl, we'll go after lunch tomorrow.

You: Thanks, Ness, ily.

Nessa: Anytime for you bbg <3

You sigh at your phone. You wanted to tell Nessa everything that happened with Jay. Especially after she came running to you in the morning with all types of products for self-defense like pepper sprays, A pocket knife, a taser, and other stuff you've never seen in your life but you knew they looked dangerous.

You really wanted to tell Nessa everything that happened with Jay, but you knew it would mess everything up. You knew she thought Jay was a fuck boy, plus she was rooting for you and Sunghoon to be a thing.

"Fuck! Sunghoon!" You thought holding your temples.

"What am I going to tell him?"

You knew Sunghoon liked you and has been into you since the first time you met. You also knew that He was best friends with Jay. Even worse, you knew Nessa would tell Sunghoon everything and that would ruin the friendship Jay and Sunghoon had.

You were confused, in fact, you knew you would go insane if you kept thinking about the aftermath of having sex with Jay.

"Is he even thinking about all of this ?" You thought to yourself.

"He never really cared about you Y/n, he used your vulnerability for sex and now he's going to ghost you cause that's all you're worth to him." The dark voice in your head says.

You bury your face in your arms as your dark thoughts devour you.

"Jay was there for me, he cares for me, he may not be in love with me, but I know he cares for me." You tell your inner self as you fight the dark voice in your head.

"Jay genuinely cares about me". You say to yourself boldly as you wipe your tears off and get up to go home.

You start walking when you suddenly question yourself.

"Which home am I supposed to go to."

You couldn't go back to your home cause you knew Sam would be there. You couldn't go to Jay's home after what happened between you both cause you hadn't spoken about anything and you knew it would be awkward.

________________________________

You decided to get drunk when you walked past a random Party happening in one of the dorms. You couldn't deal with all the overthinking and the stress it brought along with. You just wanted to forget everything and you knew alcohol was the one solution.

"Well, either that or killing yourself"

the dark voice your head awoke again at the first chance it got.

You drank every bottle in sight till you felt all your senses become numb. You danced with strangers, you vomited, got drunk again, and danced again till you were groped by a random guy at whom you yelled at and walked away from the crowd. The stranger comes back to you.

"Get the fuck away from me you creep." You yell as you throw your bottle at him.

"Calm down sweetheart, it's me." The man says.

"Jay?" You looked up trying to widen your eyes to feel some kind of happiness only to be disappointed.

The man smiles at you when your blurred vision finally recognizes his face as you get up and go back, trying not to fall.

"Missed me?" He says with a smirk on his bandaged face.

"Fucking stay away from me Sam." You yell.

You knew he'd take complete advantage of you being in such a vulnerable state.

"I just want to talk babe." He says as he comes closer.

"Don't call me that! I'm not your fucking girlfriend, and if you take one more step further I'll fucking kill you." You scream as you take out your pocket knife.

"whoa! calm down y/n, I'm just here to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you, you disgust me!" You shriek.

"I figured you'd say that" He smiles.

"I missed you y/n." He says as he comes closer to you.

"Don't fucking move!!!!" You exclaim as you tighten your grip over the pocket knife Nessa gave you.

"Oh, come on y/n you and I both know you'd never hurt me or anyone" he beams with confidence as he comes closer to you.

You take a step back and start to run away.

"So many fucking people at the party and not one person gives a shit about what's happening around them" you scream as You run as fast as your legs can take you in your drunk state. You tried calling Nessa, but she cut the call.

You didn't know what to do, You didn't know whom to call. You couldn't call jay or any of his friends because you didn't have their numbers.

You hid behind a pillar as you heard approaching footsteps.

"Y/n, I know you're in here somewhere..please come out so we can talk." He says.

You open your phone to text Nessa because you knew this might be your last time holding it.

You: Ness, Please help....Sam is here.

you send her your location and slip your phone into a crack for Sam to not find it and destroy it.

"There you are!" He holds your shirt and pulls you and corners you to a wall, making your shirt tear as he stuffs a cloth in your mouth. He came close to your face and smirked.

"Now...Let's finish off what we started 2 years back, shall we."

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A/n: Hey guyss hope y'all liked chapter 5. This is my first time writing smut, so pls bear w me- lmk if anyone wants to be added to the taglist . Anonymous messaging is open anytime. Yall are free to text me however you like hehe.

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Taglist : @allorysayshi

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keijisprettygirl · 3 years ago

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➺ synopsis ;

𝗸𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀 & 𝗽𝗼𝗴𝘂𝗲𝘀. 𝘁𝘄𝗼 𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗲𝘀, 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗱. 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗹𝘁𝗵𝘆 𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗮 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗺, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗰 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀. 𝘀𝗼 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗱𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗸𝗲𝗻 𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗶𝘀𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗯𝗼𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗮𝗹𝘀𝗼 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗼𝗼𝗹 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗻?

Pogue! Kuroo Tetsurou x Kook! fem! reader

➪ 𝑆𝑇𝐴𝑇𝑈𝑆: ongoing

➪ 𝐺𝐸𝑁𝑅𝐸: Outer Banks (OBX) AU, SMAU, AGED UP! angst, fluff, drama, summer break! forbidden love

➪ 𝐺𝐸𝑁𝐸𝑅𝐴𝐿 𝑊𝐴𝑅𝑁𝐼𝑁𝐺𝑆: profanity, judgemental and rude rich people, toxic relationships/friendships, rivalry between two social classes, alcohol consumption, mentions of drugs, suggestive themes but nothing too kinky! Kita is an asshole ):

➪ 𝑇𝐴𝐺𝐿𝐼𝑆𝑇: open | now closed.

➪ 𝐴/𝑁: this does not follow the storyline of Outer Banks and it won’t matter if you haven’t seen the show! also, pretend Outer Banks is in japan and not in the US😭🙏🏼

( always read fun facts after every chapter )

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐊𝐨𝐨𝐤?

A Kook is a person who lives in Figure 8, in the north side of the Outer Banks. They are typically well-off and have the most power on the island.

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐏𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞?

A Pogue is a name given to a group of people that are from The Cut, the south side of the Outer Banks. The Cut is home to the working class, citizens who make livings bussing tables, washing yachts, and running charters.

Kooks ❣︎ Pogues

❥ Ch.1 | POGUES 4 LIFE.

❥ Ch.2 | im trying to make you my step daughter y/n.

❥ Ch.3 | fight me rat.

❥ Ch.4 | NO pogue on kook macking.

❥ Ch.5 | are you drunk?

❥ Ch.6 | she’s like a spitting cobra

❥ Ch.7 | stalk some milfs down at the peer.

❥ Ch.8 | fuck you. you absolute buffoon. you fucking cretin.

❥ Ch.9 | please don’t HEHE me rn.

❥ Ch.10 | what is funny about a cat in pain.

❥ Ch.11 | kuroo you suck shit bruh eat a toe.

❥ Ch.12 | i said i hate you, are you deaf.

❥ Ch.13 | okay simp.

❥ Ch.14 | shes deaf.

❥ Ch.15 | ok girl i see you *purrs*

❥ Ch.16 | finish your sentence you ugly bitch.

❥ Ch.17 | spit on me.

❥ Ch.18 | SUS ??????

❥ Ch.19 | reminder: slay them all.

❥ Ch.20 | lmao don’t be a little shit shoyo.

❥ Ch.21 | miss girl….

❥ Ch.22 | where you saw bae???

❥ Ch.23 | mr l/n…....?

❥ Ch.24 | im gonna fucking kill you sunarin.

❥ Ch.25 | you’re too annoying to listen to.

❥ Ch.26 | arent y’all inlove or something? tf?

❥ Ch.27 | HELP. I HSVE BEEN ATTACKED.

❥ Ch.28 | CHILE ANYWAYS.

❥ Ch.29 | yeh ong i swear on aran’s life.

❥ Ch.30 | WAIT WHY’D YOU REMOVE ARAN??

❥ Ch.31 | Cthulhu is a fictional cosmic entity!?

❥ Ch.32 | man shut up i swear u jinx this shit

❥ Ch.33 | …

❥ Ch.34 | …

❥ Ch.35 | …

— 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚍 ~

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mac-and-cheese-is-real · 3 years ago

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RT GENSHIN AU!! (or at least my personal take on it)

did i just make a comprehensive genshin character, with talents icluded, from scratch? yeah lmao. I know this AU already exists but theres not enough content for it so, I made some. I've been browsing rtumblr for a while but have never posted so, don't eat me alive please and thank you.

RTGAME

✩✩✩✩✩

Title - Cataclysmic Constant

Nation - Inazuma

Vision - Electro

Weapon - Catalyst

Affiliation - Sumeru Academia

Special Dish - “Soba Junction”

Talents (ATK):

Normal Attack - Voltaic Stars - Preforms up to 4 electro damage attacks.

Charged Attack - Consumes a certain amount of stamina, dealing electro damage after a short casting time. If fully charged will perform all 4 electro attacks simultaneously.

Plunge Attack - Using the power of electro, he plunges to the ground, damaging all opponents in the way and dealing AoE electro damage upon impact with the earth.

Elemental Skill - Cosmic Facsimiles - Summons up to 2 faded clones that deal AoE damage upon casting and will continuously deal electro damage to nearby opponents.

Elemental Burst - Convergence of Matter - Channeling the power of the cosmos, a manifestation of a shooting star will converge with the earth below, dealing AoE damage. Any illusions from Cosmic Facsimiles will also shatter dealing additional AoE damage when burst is used.

Passives:

Ascension Passive I - Incessant Chatter - Charged attack stamina costs are decreased by 30%.

Ascension Passive IV - Thunderbolts and Lightning! - If illusions are on the field electro damage will increase by 20% of RT’s ATK.

Utility Passive - Drift King - When using the Waverider, stamina consumption is decreased by 20%.

Constellation:

Astra Fortunae - Stars of Fortune

#rtumblr #this is so cringe #but i am cringe so i guess its ok #rtgame #rtgamecrowd #irish lads #genshin #genshin mobile #genshin impact #back to the artifact grind #have a nice day #rtcu

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rinusagitora · 2 years ago

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The changing of the tides.

Fandom: Bleach

Characters: Karin Kurosaki, Yuzu Kurosaki, Ichigo Kurosaki, Renji Abarai, Izuru Kira, Shuuhei Hisagi, Akon, Shuukurou Tsukishima, Momo Hinamori, Toushirou Hitsugaya

Words: 5.8k

Summary: Merpeople!AU. WARNINGS- recreational drug use, major character death, cosmic horror; The end is foretold by the disappearance of the sea serpents.

A/N: Written for @thewhisperingdeep fanzine.

AO3: works/41955684

Gargantuan serpents have ruled the ocean for as long as life has made their home in its waters. Generations pass and they remain until conquest claims them and recycles their flesh as food and bones as shelter and tools for the masses.

The natural order is venerated as a result. Birth, life, reproduction, death, consumption. All things outside the cycle, that which is unnatural, are calamitous and loathsome. Ruins, masses of hollow and angular planes dotting the ocean bottom, are omens of devastation. Alien artifacts found are destroyed by magicians or given a wide berth so they do not pollute the order worshipped by ocean-dwellers.

The end is foretold by the disappearance of the sea serpents, where nothing is behind to repurpose, and there are no rulers to command the denizens of the seas.

---

Karin only dreamt when she was ill. She was healthy, so they came few and far between as a result.

She was made by her companions to hole up in their father’s home to recuperate once they noticed the severity of her delirium. Disorientation and indolence. But Karin hated caves, even when she lived there as a child. Even if it had enough space to fit their enormous bodies, it was too tight of a squeeze for her to feel comfortable. She always pictured the walls giving in and the rubble crushing her.

The seaweed bed made for her was destroyed while she thrashed in her sleep, haunted by terrible images of blinding lights and bellies unzipping. Of water clouded with blood and intestines until even the most piercing luminescence was smothered by its density.

Her eyes opened to her father shaking her. Karin breathed a sigh of relief to be free of terrible hallucinations.

Yuzu was more youthful, despite being her twin. It was because she didn’t chew kanakusa, psychoactive seaweed digested by sharks then preserved in brine pools. She inherited their mother’s fairness, with pale hair and red tendrils, unlike Karin, who inherited their father’s darkness. Black hair, black bell, black tendrils. Yuzu glowed through the darkness while Karin disappeared into it. It sometimes made Karin jealous, until she remembered she inherited her mother’s fury and passion. Her emotional likeness was better than her physical likeness.

When their mother Masaki was murdered, her body fed Karin, Yuzu, and their brother Ichigo until they bloated. It was a common ordeal, but it gave Karin mixed feelings into the present. The grief over never seeing their mother again, the bliss from absorbing her essence. They kept her bones. Karin wove Masaki’s teeth in her hair and Yuzu shaved Masaki’s ribs into jewelry, like beautiful talons.

Karin absorbed Masaki’s odd dreams with her flesh. Witches called them premonitions, but they were always so cryptic. She wasn't smart enough to decipher them. Karin didn't classify herself as a witch for that very reason. Witches solved riddles, while the rest of them scratched their heads like buffoons.

She rubbed her eyes after blearily taking in Yuzu. She then glanced around the cavern. Their kind traveled with at least one companion, oftentimes unremarkable that used their enormous bodies as shelter in exchange for companionship in the lonely ocean. “Where are my marrer?” she croaked.

Yuzu pet her hair. “Outside.” Even though she was comforting, Karin sensed her disquiet.

“What has you unsettled?”

“Ichigo and Renji are outside as well… they want a word with you.”

Ichigo’s visitations were a welcome change of pace. He was swamped with errands since he began serving the serpents. Karin only saw him from afar and never long enough to flag him down before he disappeared into dark waters. Social calls were non-existent. He only wanted to see her for whatever schemes the serpents had in motion.

Karin respected the serpents a great deal. They took care of herself and her sibling after Masaki was murdered. The serpents she met, Toushirou and Shinji, were compassionate. But she feared them. The magnitude and their influence and sheer power made her feel small and scared. The ocean was their possession, and they could bring its end with a flick of their tails if they so desired. She gave them a wide berth as best as she could.

She lifted herself out of the ruined bed. “I’ll see what they want.”

Karin’s companions loitered in the mouth of the cave. Kei’s lips were downturned and worried. He was always anxious, but Kazuya, Ryohei, and Heita were just as worried as he. Kazuya rubbed his arms hard enough that he shed scales.

“Be calm,” she told them, “I won’t be long.”

Karin saw Ichigo from afar, glowing through the waters due to his paleness. Their father called them phantom jellyfish, enormous beings whose tendrils billowed like ether.

Renji was a shark. He was a fearsome creature, bulging with musculature, fashionable scars, and rows of jagged fangs spanning from his lips down his pallet. But he was friendly. Karin felt like he was a giant pillow or another brother. He teased her and she teased back. He told her stories about the sea serpent he served. Byakuya was covered in mollusks and blooms of colorful coral. Long ago, Renji helped Byakuya crush a terrible sea serpent whose name and body was lost. It was a fierce battle.

Karin was grateful to Renji, too. He introduced Karin to his wife Momo, who became her very best friend. Momo was a witch. Perhaps not the most frightening or revered, but notorious enough that she was feared. She was the lover of the nameless sea serpent. The one who murdered Karin’s mother, and required the teamwork of all the serpents and their thrall to kill. She cursed him so his name was forgotten and his body unusable. The invocation of her vehemence was worse than death. She was kinder than their compatriots made her out to be. Momo kissed her head and showed her fascinating parlor tricks that made Karin feel like the world was wonderful.

Karin hugged Renji, and then Ichigo. Renji pulled a clamshell filled with kanakusa and pressed a wad into Karin’s hand. She chewed it.

“Yuzu told me you were ill. I hope you’re feeling better,” Ichigo said.

“I think I’m over the worst of it now,” she replied and did not elaborate. He didn’t need to know about her awful dream. “Where are Keigo and Mizuiro?”

Keigo and Mizuiro were Ichigo’s companions, the way Kei, Kazuya, Heita, and Ryohei were her companions. They usually accompanied Ichigo for menial tasks, but he left them behind when something serious arose. It put a pit in Karin’s stomach. She nervously clung to Renji to keep her anxieties at bay.

"Karin, we need a favor from you," Ichigo replied.

"Alright."

"I know you befriended Toushirou. We want to know if you've seen him as of late."

Karin shook her head. "Not for some time. My fever lasted for a while. My companions made me rest here, so I haven't seen anyone but them or our sister since I came here."

"How long ago was that?"

Karin spat out a glob of kanakusa. “I don’t know. The fever blurred the passage of time,” she said. “Why are you asking me these questions? Is Toushirou hurt?”

Ichigo and Renji shared a glance and Karin’s heart thumped. Fear washed her like cold waves.

“His thrall haven’t seen him for some time. Not even Rangiku,” Renji said.

Rangiku wasn’t the most reliable thrall to Toushirou, but his most loyal, and most useful. She played a key part in rallying efforts against Momo’s former lover, and the scourge of the ocean. Karin met her many times and each was memorable, rife with hallucinogens, alien oceanscapes, and mischief. She always made Karin feel acknowledged. It was, perhaps, the most useful skill to have in peacetime.

It was worrisome that she, of all people, who got along with everyone, hadn’t seen him.

Karin’s father told her about the prophecies when she was younger. The end came when their rulers vanished without a trace. No bodies behind to reuse, but horrific vanishment, with only their memory remaining. The ocean decayed in their absence.

Karin crossed her arms. “Have you spoken with Momo? She should be able to conjure something to hunt for him.”

Ichigo shook his head. “We haven’t. We were hoping this wouldn’t escalate to necessitate magic.”

“I’ll assist the search, then.” Karin had a few tricks she could use to locate Toushirou. Friendship with Momo gave Karin access to horrible creatures worse than she. Creatures with reach that spanned the ocean, networks larger than even the most mammoth serpent. Ones Ichigo and Renji refused to associate with when the circumstances permitted it.

Renji squeezed her. “If you find him, go to Momo. She has the means to contact us,” he told her. She nodded.

***

Karin gathered Kazuya, Kei, Heita, and Ryohei, and left for the open ocean.

“Where do you plan on starting the search?” Kazuya asked as they swam.

“With friends,” Karin said.

Their brethren were too fearful of the terrible things in the ocean. That which was unnatural was abhorrent, but the definition of natural was often narrow by those outside the magical class. It was why witches were feared. But those ostracized except in the direst of times were often the most useful. And the ones Karin most easily befriended.

Shuuhei and Izuru were Momo’s husbands, like Renji was her husband. They weren’t witches but incredible in their own right. Attuned to the pulse of the ocean, like the ocean was their pulse. Karin didn’t understand what the ocean’s pulse was, but they found it at the bottom of the deepest valley, and it connected them with the ocean and everything in it. They would know where to find Toushirou, or where to start, once they tapped into it.

They steadily descended. Karin felt like she was being squeezed and rung out, like how they processed kanakusa. The appearance of her companions warped. Shrunk and flattened.

The only denizens at those depths were serpents, shrimp, and mollusks. Karin felt like she was breathing stones. Heita burped bile and blood. Kazuya clutched his chest. He gasped, “I cannot continue! I feel myself collapsing. Dying!”

Karin stopped. “Ascend,” she ordered. “I’ll return once I finish.”

Kazuya, Kei, Ryohei, and Heita shared a glance before they nodded and retreated. How they accomplished nonverbal communication was a mystery to Karin.

The well-being of her companions was her responsibility. They needed her for shelter and fed off her scraps. As badly as she needed their company, she’d have no more company if the pressure of the deep made them implode.

It wasn’t much longer before music penetrated her. The pulse was magnified by the drumbeat Shuuhei made from the preserved hide of his and Izuru’s late masters. Their names were Gin and Kaname. Each was as destructive as the serpent whose body and name Momo sought to erase.

The drumbeat shook her bones and innards. The kanakusa was kicking in, highlighting the waves and debris in lovely hues of gold. The energy rushing through her head, pumping in her brain and through her veins, was good, even if her insides felt like they filled with blood. It reminded her of the rush sharks experiences as they tore apart smaller fish, and the smug satisfaction lantern fish had when they coaxed their brothers and sisters into their bellies. The mere existence was magical. Thrilling. The water shook her, and it shook with her, and she shook with it. It felt like she was diffusing into the waters. Was it the fabled pulse of the ocean?

Shuuhei and Izuru played in an arena of vents spouting boiling water. A cloud of algae shrouded them, and they played through it, pounding their drugs with their fists so swiftly in the deep, dense water, that they blurred. The vents added an endless melody, a monotonous rumble of rushing, sizzling water.

Her eyes shut as she reveled the enchantment of her bones shaking. But they noticed her, and they stopped playing, and her bones stopped shaking. Her eyes opened and she missed the euphoria.

Shuuhei swept her into a hug. “Hey! It’s been a while. Look at you, you’re gorgeous.”

He was a shark able to throw his jaw out of his skull. He called it distention and a goblin. It made Karin feel good that he owned his unusual appearance. Sometimes she wanted to emulate it and become comfortable with her phantasmagorical qualities when, according to him, the alternative was wallowing in misery. He was as much a brother to her as Renji and Ichigo were.

Karin was close to Izuru too. He was gutted years ago on angular ruins and put back together, but he was a miserable bastard long before that. Renji told her a cruel serpent named Gin warped him into a fatalistic and ruthless creature when Karin was born. She was never told what the serpent did to make Izuru calloused. Karin wasn't sure she wanted to know, either, because Momo rendered her serpent nameless and missing. Some things were best left private to not open old wounds.

But Izuru made Karin feel justified in discomfort and anger, and he adored her best friend Momo as her husband. It was hard not to love him.

Izuru played with her hair. He swept it behind her shoulders. “Your hair is longer… it’s beautiful.”

“The shrinkage makes it appear longer than it is,” she replied, smiling as she squeezed their arms. “Unfortunately, I’m not here on a social call.”

Shuuhei raised his eyebrows. “So you say… but you’re high on kanakusa.”

“It’s a long story. And potentially time-sensitive.”

Izuru folded his arms. The dark spots on his skin turned gold before they dimmed. “Is this about Toushirou?”

“No one has laid eyes on him in some time. Not even Rangiku. She, Renji, and Ichigo are in a tizzy trying to find him. I was hoping you two would have feelers out for him,” she told them.

Izuru and Shuuhei shared a side-eye. Even if Karin was buzzed, she knew they were displeased. Neither of them liked Toushirou. They thought he was bratty and ineffective. Karin was sure they would be more than pleased if Toushirou perished. But Karin believed in the prophecies. Moreso, she liked Toushirou. She could cope with his death, but she needed to find him first.

“Truthfully… we haven’t been searching. We haven’t felt anything from the pulse, either.”

“That’s not a good sign,” Karin replied.

Shuuhei shrugged. “It ebbs and flows. It’s not unusual to lose touch, even down here where it’s strongest.”

“But you don’t know where he is?”

“I’m sorry,” Izuru said. And he was. She saw it etched in his face. He was a pleaser. Sought the approval of Momo and his husbands, and those he, at the very least, regarded as allies. “I know someone who may be able to help you, however, if you’re able to tolerate the brine pools.”

Karin asked, “Where kanakusa is processed?”

“No. Mayuri’s territory.”

Her lip curled. “Oh.”

Mayuri was a malicious sea serpent. She refused contact with most of his thrall because most of them were never-do-wells. Karin’s favorites were the never-do-wells, as long as they weren’t Mayuri’s. Mayuri made the very rocks rot and crack. His brine pools were as volatile, burping acid and swarming with indiscriminate predators he employed to guard his secrets.

Shuuhei clasped her shoulder. “I know it isn’t ideal.”

“It isn’t, but I’ll survive,” Karin replied with a gentle smile. “Who am I looking for?”

“His name is Akon. He’s a competent witch, and you will be safe in his care.” Izuru said.

She nodded. She met Akon once before. He was a smarmy and mucosal hagfish. Karin always felt like he wanted to pull out her guts and play with them while she writhed.

But he and Izuru were on good terms. Akon, at the behest of his serpent master Mayuri, was the one who put Izuru’s guts back together after his disembowelment. She wasn’t sure they were friends as much as they were two warped individuals who meshed in the way warped individuals meshed. Feeding off each other’s twisted ways. The difference was that Izuru was endearing. Akon was a fucking degenerate.

The meaning of Toushirou’s disappearance was far bigger than she, however.

“I must leave. Time is of the essence,” Karin said. She hugged Izuru and Shuuhei once more and ascended to meet her companions.

Kei asked, “How was it? Did you find anything useful? Did they find Toushirou?”

“They probably just had an orgy,” Ryohei mumbled.

Karin smacked Ryohei upside his head. He yelped. “There’s no need to be crude,” she said. “But no. Izuru and Shuuhei aren’t able to tap into the pulse now. Izuru gave me another lead, however, so we must go posthaste.”

She swam between them and they flanked her. Heita asked, “I know I’ll regret asking, but where are we going?”

“A servant of Mayuri will be able to help us locate Toushirou.”

Heita groaned. “Of course.”

“That’s why you don’t ask questions,” Ryohei told him.

***

The brine pools Mayuri’s servants populated were as alien as Karin remembered them being. Rangiku took her once. She met Akon. They got high on kanakusa, and Akon made Karin feel like parasites crawled over her.

The waters were noxious there. Karin’s throat itched and it felt like her skull was swollen. Kei, Kazuya, Heita, and Ryohei hid in her bell, hoping her tendrils would circulate breathable water, but it didn’t save them from the rash of saline water. Kei coughed and scratched his eyes. She was tempted to tell them to head back to the cave she was made to recuperate in, but couldn’t muster the words. How anyone tolerated that climate was puzzling.

It was rare to see inside any cave from afar. But Akon’s home glowed with shelves of luminescent fungi. It was stale inside but lived in. Karin collected her tendrils to keep from knocking over scrolls Akon fashioned out of hide.

Akon mashed a concoction of ingredients Karin didn’t recognize. He didn’t notice them until Karin called him by name.

“Akon, Izuru sent me here.” She hoped Izuru’s name would keep him from dissecting her.

He glanced up and flexed his jaw. It spanned from his face to his chest, filled jagged and teeth he chipped from gnawing flesh off bones.

He, at least, didn’t require pleasantries. “What for?”

“We’re searching for Toushirou. He’s missing.”

“Serpents are difficult to locate by nature.”

“No, he’s missing. Rangiku doesn’t know where he is. Several of Byakuya’s thrall are searching for him, as well.”

Akon frowned. “That is troublesome.”

“We were hoping you would be able to utilize your magic to locate him,” she said.

Akon rolled his shoulders. He hummed. “I can. But I need something from you.”

“Will it help find Toushirou?”

“No, but I’ll help find Toushirou when it’s finished,” he said.

Karin frowned. She should’ve seen something like that coming. Akon was a selfish person, and favors were his currency. She didn’t want to be his gopher or experiment, but Karin needed to hear him out.

“Mayuri requires golden bones from the Ruins,” he said, “he saw them glinting through a hole in the ruins and wants them harvested.”

The Ruins were a strange, angular structure that sank before Karin was born. Ocean-dwellers gave it a wide berth because it was the zenith of the unnatural they feared and reviled. Karin saw it from afar once, and they ran. It emitted death. The very image inspired horror, it made Karin’s guts bubble with anxiety. She wasn’t thrilled to run errands for Akon, but having to search the Ruins was the absolute worst.

“Fine,” she replied. “I’ll fetch the bones for you. But I want nothing to do with Mayuri.” She didn’t want to be the thrall of the serpents, especially Mayuri’s.

“Bring them to me, and I’ll give you his location.” Akon’s eyes turned into crescents like he was smiling. “I’ll see you soon, Karin.”

She hoped she returned alive.

Without another word, Karin flipped around and returned to the dark ocean. Her companions freed themselves once they were away from the toxic brine pools.

Kazuya asked, “Are you okay?”

“It was a short exchange. We have that to be grateful for,” Karin said.

The Ruins weren’t far from Mayuri’s brine pools. In the darkness, its shape emerged through the darkness. Flat, angular planes. Shrimp didn’t occupy it, and there wasn’t a hint of barnacles on its surfaces. A bubble of vacancy entombed it. It didn’t even stink of death. Death, a natural part of life, was accepted and grieved. The complete vacancy was unnatural.

Momo told her the Ruins appeared one day. It was long before even her father’s time. The serpent Momo now served, Shinji, a long crab with pincers able to snap whales in half, told Karin of the day it sank. It barreled to the seafloor like a curse from the beyond and kicked up a cloud for ages. When the silt cleared, the serpents and witches condemned it. No one has touched it since. Certainly not Karin.

Approaching it, she felt like she was in trouble. Like she betrayed Momo and her loved ones. Karin swallowed bile.

She and her companions circled the exterior. They peered in through round holes, even in shape and equidistant, except when long openings punctuated the exterior with thick flaps waving in the tide.

Karin held the flap open. She peered in and frowned. “Stay here for the time being. It’s too tight to fit all five of us.”

Kei hugged his sides. “In, out, I don’t want to be anywhere near here.”

Karin pulled her tendrils over her arms and swam in. Maneuvering inside posed a challenge. She was too large to swim the pathways as she swam through the open ocean, so Karin pulled herself through it with her hands.

It wasn’t a long expedition. A skeleton with a split tail was tangled around a rod. Their teeth glittered gold. She had never seen ocean-dwellers with golden teeth before. When their teeth chipped they either waited for a new one to grow in or lived with it and pureed food between stones if the situation called for it. Their teeth yellowed or grew malformed, but never gold. It was unnatural and foul.

She pried them out with her fingers. They cramped unmercifully until she held the golden ones in her palms.

“What a coincidence,” she heard from behind her. Karin twisted while her heart seized, and she snarled when she saw who addressed her.

His name was Shuukurou, a spiny oarfish. He once conned them into thinking he was their family’s friend and then attempted to take Ichigo’s life. His execution was ordered by the serpent Byakuya but he vanished before it could be carried out.

She wasn’t surprised that a contemptible ocean-dweller like him made his home in the Ruins. She would make it his grave.

“Look who it is… what imbecile would reveal himself to me?” Karin hissed. “Me, who shall celebrate your demise at my hands?”

He glanced at the bones, and then at her. “You’ve taken my treasure, haven’t you?”

“Like you tried to take my brother’s life?” Karin felt like she was boiling in her rage.

His eyes narrowed. “You’ll succeed the same as I succeeded: not at all.”

Karin was good in a fight. It was how she sustained herself. Phantoms didn’t have fancy tricks like luminescence or camouflage, so they relied on brute strength to catch and consume prey. Her family was famous for their combat efficiency.

When Shuukurou lunged, she caught him by his jaws. He thrashed and tried to snap his teeth to skin her, but wasn’t able to free himself from her grapple. As she held Shuukurou at bay, she cocooned him in her tendrils, coiling until they overlapped, and she squeezed him. A howl of rage and agony ripped from his throat. Still, Karin squeezed and pushed his jaw open. It dislocated with a satisfying crack. As his organs collapsed, blood gushed into her face from his throat.

She yelped. Shuukurou dug his thumbs into her eyes and she screamed. Her tendrils loosened and he slipped free. His fangs plunged into her arm. She screeched unholily. Blindly, she thrashed her arms and tendrils until they found purchase. Karin curled her fists around the crest sprouting from his head. She yanked him towards her and held his head in her biceps. Shuukurou writhed. He pounded his fist against her biceps. He scratched and spat, to no avail. Karin loathed him. She wanted him dead and would squeeze the life out of him to do so.

His struggle died out. Karin, through a haze of blood and scratches, saw his mouth gape and his eyes bulge. She pushed him away and counted the gold dots clasped in her hand. Karin held onto all of them.

Karin pushed his corpse away and found her way outside. Her sight was returning, although her eyes still stung. Kei caught her arm.

“What the fuck happened to you?” he asked. “You’re covered in scratches.”

She rubbed her eyelids. “All that matters is it’s over. Let’s get these back to Akon.”

***

The return trip was shorter somehow. Compared to the Ruins, the brine pools were less eerie. Karin gave Akon the golden bones, and he turned them in his fingers.

“These are magnificent,” he cooed. His praise made her skin crawl, and she rubbed her arms to brush off the bugs. “Solid gold. I’m amazed by how pure they are.”

“Just tell me where to find Toushirou,” Karin said.

Akon gave her a wad of herbs. “Chew this. You’ll be given visions of his location, and the aftereffects will serve as a map to his location."

Karin wordlessly chewed it. The herbs were sour and it made her face pucker.

The effects were immediate. Karin groaned as she was overtaken by images. Momo's red tentacles swirled as she strummed a strange, fibrous instrument with a fat, hollow back. The strings she played sour notes and billowed crimson and cerulean, the most vivid colors Karin ever saw, and they mixed into gorgeous violet. While her sour notes played, frames of her weeping and stirring herbs in her mantle flashed before Karin, splitting into red and blue hues before reconverging into a cohesive image.

Karin emerged from the hallucination with a chill. She wanted to throw something through Akon's head, something to pummel him to a pulpy mess of shattered bones and lumps of blood.

True to his word, though, the water illuminated orange. It twinkled in the water, shook with the currents like an eel.

It wasn't Akon's fault her vision didn't yield Toushirou's location. It wasn't encouraging, however. Had he been spirited away, as the prophecies predicted? Were they inaugurating their extinction through their search for Toushirou? Was he altogether dead, and Akon's magic unable to locate the remains?

Karin felt especially urgent. The beacon pointed towards Momo. She needed to leave.

"Thank you, Akon. I need to leave."

"Yes, yes," he said monotonously, waving her out, "you must ensure life as we know it isn't ending. Best of luck."

Karin swam into the open ocean, following the trail of orange waves that guided her to Momo. There was a pit in her gut. She didn't dare tell Kei, Kazuya, Heita, and Ryohei about her vision, however. They would leave her in a heartbeat.

***

Karin was malaised for the entire trek. Her worries were disorienting like she was being spun. It made her taste bile.

Momo was feared because she made her lover's name and body disappear and was reviled because of her home. An odd, angular body fell into the ocean and spilled horrid-tasting ink. It was unnatural and feared for that reason. Momo ripped apart the planes and shaped them into a home.

Karin didn't understand why Momo would do something so ominous. Anyone betrayed as she was, though, couldn't be well emotionally. Perhaps it was easier for Momo to steer into repugnance.

Her home appeared in the distance, highlighted in an orange aura. The rumble of water stopped, and Karin glanced back. Her companions were frozen in the water with their gazes focused on their tails. She frowned.

"What's on your mind?"

"Karin, he isn't here," Heita said, "and if he is, he isn't living."

She stared back. "What the fuck are saying." It wasn't a question because she knew what he was saying. What Kei, Kazuya, and Ryohei were thinking: Momo slew a serpent. That she was mad and harbinger of death.

Heita grimaced. "I'm just… I'm just saying that Momo has a history of doing awful things to serpents."

Rage filled Karin. "You stupid fucking fish!" she bellowed. Her tendrils swarmed him. "How dare you compare this to the schemes of that awful serpent!"

"Look at her home, Karin! We have heard the stories. The horrors these unnatural things do to us and our monarchs! She lives in an omen!"

"Leave my sight before I kill you," she bellowed. The water shook like vents boiled it and she smelled urine. But they escaped as fast as their tails could carry them.

She was hurt and betrayed. It was an open wound in her ribs. But time was of the essence, so Karin didn't have the time to grieve. She turned towards Momo's home before their silhouettes were consumed by darkness.

Momo was fraught. Before Karin was even through the entrance, she heard bowls and shells clatter. She saw fungi, the pleated skin of trilobites, and whale teeth thrown into a mortar. Momo chewed kanakusa. Shreds floated from her open mouth.

Karin knew nothing about magic, but her mentor's mania couldn't be anything good.

"Momo," Karin said. She yelped and flipped around. Her hand pressed against her hand.

"Good god, Karin, you can't sneak up on me like that!" she snapped.

"It's an emergency."

Momo shook her head. She bawled. "I know! I know, I'm sorry. I woke up with a terrible feeling but none of my spells have found him!"

"Is he dead?" Karin whispered. Her voice shook anyway.

"I don't know. This concoction is… is my last chance. If it doesn't work, there's nothing I can do! There's nothing I can do, and it's my fault that the ocean will die."

Karin took Momo's hands. Their eyes met, Momo wild and fearful. Their tentacles interlocked. "We should do it together."

She hesitated, then pulled a wad of algae from her mouth. "Chew on this. I need my drum."

Karin sucked the wad of kanakusa from Momo's fingers. Its juices gushed down her throat, and gold ribbons unfurled in the waves.

Momo's drum hung on the wall. She pulled it off the hook, held it by the rim, and drummed it with the other. Slowly, it penetrated Karin. The pulse of the ocean. She was one with the depths, connected to everything that touched the water.

Momo's concoction billowed crimson ink. Karin's eyes shut as it shrouded them. Visions accosted her. It made her skin prickle and her guts wrap themselves in tight knots.

She saw crests of saltwater crash and foam. A shape as unnatural as The Ruins cut through the water, illuminated by veins of flashing, jagged lights behind it. The air rumbled, not like Shuuhei's music, hypnotic, but cacophonous pops that Karin feared would cause her ears to bleed. The living ruins sent lines of hard rings into the depths where they sank and danced in the waves. She was entangled in them. They cut her to the bone and dragged her to shallow water where she bloated and hemorrhaged until her belly split and spilled her insides.

She saw deaths a hundredfold. Even the mighty sea serpent, Kenpachi, strong enough to make tsunamis and level mountains in the depths, thrashed as terrible weaves caught him and dragged him up.

It was the fucking end.

Her vision cleared. Karin convulsed, spewing bile into the saltwater. The sensation of her splitting remained. Momo shrouded Karin in a hug, entangling their limbs and squeezing her shoulders. They wept together, and Momo rubbed her arms like a sister or a mother.

"I don't want to die," Karin wheezed, pulling Momo tight around her like a blanket. She pictured her companions' bodies distorting above the water, bloated until they popped, intestines spilling onto unnatural things. Unnatural deaths. "Momo, I don't want to die like that."

"I know. I know," Momo said, holding her tightly. They rocked in the water, stirring it until Karin heard it rumble in her ears.

Momo turned her around and pressed a kiss against her head. She stroked Karin's head, face warped into a woeful grimace. "We could die on our terms before the ocean is razed. I can make it painless."

Karin felt like her chest was collapsing. "What about Ichigo and Yuzu? I can't leave them."

Momo pets her hair. She kisses her head again. "I love you so much, Karin. You're like my sister."

They hugged. "I love you too, Momo." She laid her cheek on her shoulder. "Is this goodbye?"

"I don't want to die like that."

Karin didn't blame her. Momo always wanted a peaceful death. She was going to take poison and fall asleep and rot without a care in the world.

She didn't want to leave Momo as a result. They floated together, suspended in grief and love. Karin held Momo tight and hoped to absorb Momo into her so Karin would never be without her best friend.

Karin left Momo's home. Karin hoped Momo's husbands would find peace somewhere because it left like a graveyard.

***

Karin felt hollow. She didn't feel the waves or the euphoria of kanakusa. Instead, she blindly floated through the ocean.

She stopped. In the depths, she saw shrouds of darkness, like her own tendrils, but giant. "What the fuck?"

She chased after it. Only serpents could be so large, but there were no phantom serpents that she knew of.

It turned to face her. Karin knew, the same way she knew Toushirou was gone, that it was her father. Had he grown into a serpent? Were they grown, and not created?

"Father!" she shouted. "Isshin!"

He swam to her left. She made a beeline for him. "Father! Father, stop!" she screamed. "Please!"

The water rushed past them. Karin froze, remembering the prophecy, of them being lifted into shallow waters, rupturing, and suffocating. A weave tangled her and swept her up. Karin ripped at it, shrieking, but it was oily and slick. She was going to die.

Her father captured it in his tendrils but they easily tore. Water rushed past her and deafened her to horror.

Her face swelled shut. Her joints ballooned, and her gut popped. It seared. White-hot, worse than her dreams. The end came with tragedy and agony before the blissful snuffing.

#bleach #karin kurosaki #toshiro hitsugaya #ichigo kurosaki #momo hinamori #yuzu kurosaki #renji abarai #izuru kira #shuuhei hisagi #akon #shukuro tsukishima

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raplinesmoon · 4 years ago

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The Library of Our Love {KNJ x GN!Reader} - Oneshot

“My library is an archive of longing.” - Susan Sontag

“Did you figure out that I’m a book after I met you? Or did you turn my page?”

- 방탄 소년단, Outro: Her

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Gender-Neutral Reader

Genres: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort… I’m sorry in advance for hurting u

AUs: college students!AU

Word Count: ~4.6k

Themes: strangers-bestfriends-(maybe)lovers, unrequited love, pining, the slowest of slow burns (to the point where the fire almost goes out)

Warnings: some mentions of blood and violence, vandalism, strong language, negative self-image and feelings of depression/sadness, excessive consumption of gummy bears (don’t do it pls)

Ratings: sfw, pg13

Summary:

From this day forth, the rules set out by the users of the study table should be:

This table shall only be populated by one Kim Namjoon and one ___, all others must ask for permission before using the premises.

Albert L. Lehringer’s word is the supreme law of the land.

The library is for learning only, not for falling in love.

Oops.

Please picture this Namjoon.

Shoutouts: Thank you to @papillonsgf for being my #1 supporter and baji and designing the most gorgeous banner known to humankind 💞And Eva @dinamitae for being the sweetest last minute beta reader I could’ve asked for 😊 Also, I have to give a big shoutout to all the writers on Tumblr: I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for inspiring me to put my feelings down on paper, and for touching my heart with your beautiful stories.

A/N: This is my first time writing any kind of fiction whatsoever, so please be kind 🙈This fic is deeply personal to me because all of the events portrayed actually happened in my life (with creative liberties). As a result, please do not plagiarize bc that would make me big sad 🥺 I hope you enjoy reading it!! And yes, every vignette is titled with the Dewey Decimal number of the section where you can find that topic (bc I am a nerd)!

Crossposted to AO3 here.

Glossary:

Albert L. Lehringer: the dude who wrote my college biochem textbook

Kal-guksu: Korean knife-cut noodle soup dish

시조 (sijo) (pronounced SHEE-jo): a form of Korean poetry similar in format to the haiku. Originally intended as songs that can represent romantic, metaphysical, or spiritual themes.

Theodicy: the vindication of divine goodness and providence in the view of the existence of evil

Incunabulum: Latin for “place of birth”, or “beginning”. Also one of the earliest forms of a printed book.

523.66: Cosmic Impact

Lee? Lehman?

You flit through your mind trying to remember the author of the supplemental textbook Dr. Kang had recommended to you. The 6th floor of the library is cold; a steady draft seeps in from the slightly open windows. Shrouded in obscurity, all the science books are clustered together into one dark corner among tall, looming shelves.

Lehringer!

Aha, there it was! You eye your target and move towards the shelf at the end of the aisle, eyes focused. Like a predator honed in on its prey, you lose all awareness of your surroundings. Pressing your books to your chest, you pounce towards it when suddenly a large shadow obscures your path. Ramming into a hard, firm chest, you fall back into space, books tumbling everywhere. A sturdy, muscular arm reaches out to grab you.

“Oh gosh! I’m so sorry, are you alright? I wasn’t looking where I was going, I tend to be super clumsy, no wonder my friends call me the God of Destruction.”

The tall stranger beams down at you, two tiny corresponding craters forming in his cheeks as he stares fondly.

“Again, I’m super sorry. Were you also looking for Dr. Lehringer’s Principles of Biochemistry text?”

He reaches it easily, lifting it off the shelf and passing it into your waiting hands. You open it to peruse when you are again interrupted by his dulcet timbre.

“I’m Namjoon, by the way. I figure the least I could do is tell you my name after almost knocking you over.”

“Kim Namjoon? You wouldn’t happen to sit at the very front of Dr. Kang’s fundamentals class, would you?”

His smile widens, turning his eyes into crescent moons, as he timidly rubs the back of his neck with his right hand.

“Now how would you happen to know that?”

“I’m ____, I sit in the middle row. You’re very tall, you know. I can’t see the board half the time.”

A blush colors his cheeks as a sheepish grin falls over his face. He stares down at a speck on the floor. He looks like a scolded puppy, utterly bewildered and completely adorable.

“I- , I’m so sorry, I had no idea. I can move seats maybe, or try and slouch a little bit, even though I know that’s bad for my posture and I’m too young to be having back pain, oh gosh, I can’t believe this, I always thought I felt someone staring at the back of my head - “

“Hey, it’s alright, I was just joking. Thanks for grabbing the book for me, maybe I’ll see you in class sometime?”

“____. Yes, of course, I’ll see you around!”

He waves and strides down the aisle, disappearing out of sight. A steady gust of wind enters through the window, and you hear something flutter. Whether it’s the pages of your open book or the drumming of your heartbeat in your chest, you can’t begin to tell.

177.42: Ethics of friendship

Staring down the endless rows of wooden tables, each illuminated by an antique brass lamp, you spot a lone figure sitting at the farthest one, glasses perched on his nose and his entire being buried in the Principles textbook as though his life depends on it.

Suddenly, you feel restless. Dr. Kang’s midterm examination was looming over the next day, and you knew Namjoon would already be on top of preparing considering you had noticed him sitting at the same table every day since your encounter mere weeks ago.

I’m just going to sit down and ask him if I can study there, you mused. Maybe we can bounce ideas off of each other? A study partner, that’s all. A fellow lover of learning, a devotee of discovery, a paramour of perusal.

So then why did your heart lurch like you were free-falling from 10,000 feet above?

You can do this, just walk up to him and ask if you can use the table.

“Namjoon?” His head turns at the sound of your voice, and a heart-stopping smile illuminates his face. “Do you mind if I sit here and try to study for Dr. Kang’s course too? We can ask each other questions if we’re stuck.”

“Did you read my mind? I was just wishing I had a friend to talk things over with. Sadly, my roommate, Hoseok, is a dance major, so he doesn’t quite understand how to predict dihedral angles based on chemical shift data.”

“Make yourself comfortable,” he beams, pushing aside the pile of books, multicolored pens, and gummy bears. “We have a long night ahead of us.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You feel a warm hand press on your shoulder and blearily gaze up to find Namjoon’s concerned visage gazing at you from across the table.

“Hey there, are you alright? It’s almost 1am, the library’s gonna close soon.”

You blink, trying to remember the events of the past eight hours. Both of you made a brilliant team, working through the problems for the exam expertly and efficiently. Along the way, you fell deep into conversations about not only the equilibrium governing every reaction in the book but also the thin and delicate strings of matter that made up your lives thus far.

Namjoon waits patiently for you to find your bearings, as you hastily shove books and papers into your backpack. He slides the bag of gummy bears in your direction.

“Take one, for good luck tomorrow. Or maybe three. Or you don’t have to take any, they’re probably bad for you and I don’t want you to have a toothache before the exam. Just let me walk home with you?”

The two of you stumble out into the chilly fall air, following the stark lamplight lighting up the way back to the on-campus apartments.

At the point where your paths diverge, Namjoon spins on his heel to take in your retreating figure.

“HEY ___! See you after Kang’s exam tomorrow? Same time, same place?”

“See you then!”, you grin, whirling quickly so he can’t see the devastatingly wide grin that consumes your entire face.

135.30: interlude_dream, Reality

The dim rays of the afternoon sun.

A checkered blanket under the shadow of an oak tree.

The crinkle of a plastic bag full of copious amounts of Haribo gummy bears.

A tall stack of books that had tumbled over onto the grass.

His dimpled smile and eyes that turned into tiny moons --

You’re jolted awake from your reverie by the droning of hushed voices and furtive conversations in the library basement. Blearily rubbing at your eyes and massaging your temples, you fight the stiffness in your joints that is urging you to sit up from your resting position on the couch which occupies the far corner of the main room. All too suddenly, your tired mind sharpens, catching wind of a conversation that is happening just a few feet away.

“Hyung, I know it happened so suddenly, and we only met just a few months ago, but I’m starting to feel something. We’ve been spending more and more time together and I feel like I’m falling harder and harder.”

You freeze. That voice. You would recognize the melodic timbre of the man who you’ve been studying alongside in the library for months now from across campus.

A high-pitched laugh echoes in response, squeaking like the windshield wipers on a car in the middle of a downpour.

“Yah, Namjoon-ah, don’t tell me you’re in love? You, who’s always been focused on his studies. They must be something special.”

Your exhausted body is on the brink of keeling over as your pulse quickens. Your stomach ties itself into a knot, and heat rushes to your cheeks. Who are they talking about?

“Hyuuuuung, it’s not like that yet. We’re just good friends for now.”

You redden in response to the term “friends for now”, as you hear the bashful lilt to Namjoon’s voice. Could it be possible? You dare to dream, just this once.

“So, what do you plan to do about it? This is your last year here, you know that right?”

“I’ll think of something, Hyung. I don’t know if I can last so long without saying how I really feel. But what if they don’t feel the same way?”

I do, you silently scream as you desire to break down the walls of their intimate conversation. I do feel the same way, I have for a while now.

The loud scraping of chairs and closing of books force you to halt your inner monologue, signaling that it’s time to head to your next class. You’re left dazed and confused, yet with a blissful smile on your face, as you see Namjoon and Seokjin exit the library, their backs turned to you.

You feel buoyant as you stand, bouncing on the balls of your feet. Exiting the library, the world seems effervescent and hazy with a new rose-colored filter, mirroring the pink of your gums as you smile brightly, ready to take on the day ahead with renewed fervor.

641.86: Just desserts

Whoever thought there should be a specific day devoted to love was the silliest person alive, in your opinion. How could they reduce a force as wonderful and as powerful, as full of tenderness and adoration, to a mere day full of hearts and flowers? Love was beyond that, it was something that could take a person and erode all their harsh lines, their straight angles, and make them soft and pliable.

Ever since you had overheard his conversation in the library basement, you and Namjoon had only become closer, spending your days and nights at the same table, laughing at each others’ jokes, crying under the weight of exhaustion, and opening up to each other about anything and everything.

You had never thought you could feel this way, never thought that someone would find you riveting enough to share more than a five-minute conversation with, let alone spend hours of their life in your presence. Your friends were well aware of your feelings towards Namjoon, urging you to explore the possibility of something more. They knew all too well how guarded you kept your heart in terms of romance, preferring instead to bask under the gentle glow of friendship than to ever submit yourself to the blinding passion of opening up your heart and soul entirely to another.

You trekked nervously to the main study room, protecting the small box in your hands with your entire being. Valentine’s Day may have been silly and trite, but you weren’t going to miss the perfect excuse to offer Namjoon a gift of appreciation under the guise of fondness that everyone seemed to be partaking in today.

He’s waiting for you with a smile, as always. You look down, unable to hide the blush that colors your face from your temples to your forehead.

“Happy Valentine’s Day ____! Too bad we’re spending it in the library, instead of out on dates with someone, right?”

“I guess so, although I don’t really mind wasting away in the library if it’s with someone like you.”

Namjoon’s eyes widen and his smile grows even wider.

“Let’s call it a date, then. We can stop halfway through and grab something to eat from the new place that opened right by West Campus. I heard they make a pretty mean kal-guksu,” he winks.

This is too much, you think. Too much all at once, and yet not enough. Your silly gift seems like an outlandish display of affection now, compared to his completely chill offer of grabbing a meal together.

Reel it in, your brain tells you. Play it off. He probably likes chill, prefers it that way. Why would he go out of his way with you, when you see each other every day? When he’s never done it before?

No! You fight your subconscious, remembering that fateful conversation in the basement that changed everything between the two of you. He said he wants something more, that he’s falling for me.

“Namjoon, I made some cupcakes and cookies for y-, for us to share. Maybe we can wallow in our loneliness -” you blink, faltering as you press your lips together. You weakly offer up the box, ripping off the “for you, my favorite study partner” tag quietly underneath the table.

Why couldn’t you just be honest? You were friends, why did everything have to become so complicated?

Namjoon doesn’t seem to catch onto your face falling, doesn’t seem to hear the sound of your heart dropping in your chest. His dimples become etched into his face as he grins from ear-to-ear.

“Every day, I thank the supreme power known as Albert L. Lehringer himself for letting me bump into you on the 6th floor. Where else could I have found such a kind, considerate, beautiful study partner who bakes the best red velvet cupcakes on campus?”

You gape, jaw becoming slack. Beautiful, he said. He’d never called you beautiful before. Your heart swells on the inside.

“Yah, you and that smart mouth of yours, Namjoon. Just keep quiet and eat your cupcake, we have work to do,” you answer back sarcastically, your own grin mirroring his.

Maybe your mind wasn’t playing tricks on you after all.

165.19: Fallacies, or errors in judgment

Spring. The season of rebirth and renewal. Flowers blossomed and birds chirped as the campus came alive again, leading you and Namjoon to spend more and more of your time outdoors.

Currently, the two of you were curled up on a checkered blanket underneath the big oak tree on campus, your biochem classes having finally eased their loads, leaving you to ponder on your philosophy term paper and Namjoon to pore over his Korean literature homework.

“Have you ever heard of 시조 (sijo), ____? It’s meant to be songs written as poetry, mimicking the current tune of whatever your mind is feeling.”

“Really Namjoon? That sounds fascinating. And what would be the current tune you have in your head?”

Namjoon bends his head downwards, unable to make eye contact.

“You know the pre-grad formal?” he mutters, his normally deep voice becoming no more than a whisper.

“Yeah, what about it?”, you question, as butterflies suddenly convene in your chest and the din of your heartbeat becomes louder.

“I- um, well I-, I- was thinking of asking Seolhee. You know Ahn Seolhee, that girl that sits at the table on the other end of the library? She’s in one of my chem electives, and I joined the Chemistry as Art club because she’s president and we’ve been talking more and more this semester. I don’t really know what I feel towards her, but I feel like it could be something. I guess asking her to the formal is the only way to figure it out, right?” he’s rambling now, redness staining his cheeks as he talks about her. Seolhee.

Your heart stops, and the roaring in your ears becomes louder.

Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.

Of course, Namjoon had a life outside your library. Of course, he had friends that weren’t you. Of course, he would like pretty Seolhee, leader of a sorority on campus, president of so many clubs, and recently accepted to the university’s Ph.D. program in Biochemistry that would be starting in the fall. She was bubbly and beautiful, friendly to everyone she met, wearing her heart on her sleeve and with nothing short of a smile on her face all the time.

Not like you, who had recently been accepted to a post-baccalaureate program because you’d failed to get into medical school this time around, while Namjoon was waiting on the results of his many interviews.

Not like you who didn’t have any popularity or accomplishments to boast about because you’d been slowly exhausting yourself day and night in the library, poring over labs and problem sets, having to work twice as hard to prove you were just as brilliant.

Not like you, who kept their heart under lock and key because how could you complain when all you’d ever loved and wanted was the man who spent every day in the wooden chair across from you?

“___?” Namjoon interrupts the whirlwind of thoughts that are running through your mind. “Are you listening? I was just saying, Jin-hyung’s date from his MBA program fell through, you guys should go together, we’d all have fun!”

You nod, blinking back tears.

Spring. The season where new life blooms, yet storms brew, washing away everything in their wake.

214.06: Theodicy

One month. It’d been one month since the revelation which had caused your daydreams to come crashing down.

Two weeks. It’d been two weeks since you had gone to the formal, hiding your pain behind laughter as you were forced to look at Namjoon and Seolhee gazing at each other, touching each other, dancing with each other, drunk on champagne and in their affection. Jin had found you back then, curled up on the floor in the marble-walled bathroom of the fancy manor hosting the event. He’d taken you straight home, Namjoon oblivious to your disappearance.

You hadn’t been back to the library since. Instead, you claimed a table in the busy student center, among the smell of brewing coffee, raucous conversation, and shrill pop music. Your hands feel clammy. Your head is pounding.

You long for the warm glow of antique brass lamps, the crinkle of a packet of gummy bears being opened, and the melodious laugh of a man with dimples deeper than the craters on the moon.

Focus, you chastised yourself. This term paper won’t write itself.

Theodicy. The vindication of divine goodness and providence given the existence of evil. Why bad things happen to good people. Why suffering can be justified.

You feel sick to your stomach, jolting as the tears flooded your eyes, abandoning your books and coffee behind you.

The door of the bathroom stall slams behind you as you sink to the floor.

616.025: Medical emergencies

Thanking the reference librarian for their help in finding the materials you needed for your final papers, you make your descent down the back staircase of the library. It’s usually abandoned around sunset, most people preferring to use the main entrance closer to the dorms. You shiver at the chill the night air brings, wrapping your jacket tighter around yourself.

You see red and rainbow shards of the once beautiful, but now broken, stained glass alcove before you see him.

Namjoon is slumped against the wall, eyes shut tight and chest heaving. His knuckles have been ripped apart and stained with blood dripping onto the floor as his sobs echo.

You rush to his side.

“Namjoon, Namjoon, please look at me. What happened?”

Namjoon doesn’t open his eyes to see that it’s you, instead retreating further into himself, like a small child, his sobs growing into wails.

“Kim Namjoon! It’s me, _____. Please, please, I need to know if you’re alright. We need to get you to a bathroom or something,” you’re sobbing now too, heart shattering at seeing him so bruised and broken. You sling his arm around your shoulder and drag him into the staff bathroom close to the alcove.

You toil to distract yourself from the pain both of you are feeling. You open your backpack and take out the pack of tissues and the box of band-aids you always kept on hand for when the now defeated man in front of you had a bout of clumsiness and knocked into the edge of a table or cut himself on one of Kang’s 100-page problem sets. You take his hands in yours, washing them gently with soap and water.

Slowly, Namjoon opens his eyes to stare at you, fat tears dripping down his face.

“Fuck, ____. It just all fucking fell apart, I don’t even know what happened. The-, the-, interviews, and I thought I was doing so well…” he trails off.

Your mind is only half listening, as your temples begin to throb.

Rejection, you hear.

“And fucking Seolhee, she told me she was just fucking around, trying to use me to catch the attention of some other guy…”

Rejection, you hear, and your vision turns cloudy and red, like the water mixed with blood that has smeared in the sink.

“And then I was looking for you everywhere ___. I needed you, but you weren’t there. You’ve always been there.”

You can’t take this.

“Stop, Namjoon. Stop it right now. What do you mean you were looking for me? All you had to do was find me. I would’ve dropped everything for you. Yes, rejection fucking hurts, but you can’t do shit like this. How is punching a fucking window the right reaction huh? Why didn’t you trust me, why didn’t you tell me?” your voice wavers as it begins to rise in octaves, finally spilling out all the pain and resentment that you’ve been feeling since that spring day froze over into a meadow of frost.

“What the hell would you know about rejection ___?”, Namjoon clenches his jaw, a vein in his neck bulging as he throws out the accusation.

“You can’t mean that Namjoon, you seriously can’t fucking mean that.” Your tears are falling onto the floor now too, mixing with the bloodstains.

For a moment, you think you see a look of understanding flash across Namjoon’s face. For a moment, you think he might’ve been able to access your memories of the past months, ones that now mirror his own.

However, the look is now gone, and you’re left wondering if your mind is playing tricks on you again. Instead, the look is replaced by hurt and despair that color Namjoon’s face.

“I’m sorry ___. I’m so fucking sorry,” the door swings as he runs out of the bathroom, leaving you to wonder how his shredded knuckles that are still embedded with glass slashed open the wounds that had begun to heal in your heart.

124.73: Teleology, or the end of things

“Mom? Dad? I’ll be back in a little bit, I just need to say one last goodbye to some people I saw at the library,” you lie.

The library is closed today. Everyone is out on the campus green rejoicing, celebrating the hard work of the past 4 years. Still, your heart would feel incomplete without bidding adieu to the place that had been your second home over the past year, the place that still held the remnants of your love for Namjoon.

The door to the main study room is open. Strange. It creaks as you push it further open, taking in the rows of identical rectangular tables, the wooden chairs that made your back ache, and the brass lamps that lit up the darkest of your nights.

There’s someone here. The lonely figure of a tall, lithe man in a crisp white dress shirt with a black tie, navy gown draped over it. He’s slumped over the table that was once shared between the two of you.

He looks up as he hears your footsteps approaching.

“Hey,” he says, mustering a weak smile. “We made it.”

“Congratulations, Namjoon”, you whisper quietly, unable to tell if he can hear you.

You make a gesture to leave when he catches you by surprise one last time.

“___? Can I ask one last favor of you?” he extends his hand to you, and you shy into yourself.

“Please?”, Namjoon’s eyes shrink into the tiny crescent moons you’ve come to know and love.

You take his hand in yours as he lifts you both to stand on top of your table.

“Ready? Hats off in 1-,2-,3!”, both of you throw your hats up to the ceiling, Namjoon’s narrowly missing plonking onto his head as it comes back down. Your face lights up in a smile.

“Hey ____? Thank you, for everything. I’m gonna miss you, and this place, so damn much. I’m sorry we couldn’t enjoy the last few weeks here together.”

“It’s okay Namjoon, I forgive you. I’ll miss you too. Let’s stay in touch, yeah?”

He grins. Those damn dimples. “Yeah.”

You turn on your heel, feeling renewed and restored, leaving him behind as the doors to the library of your love close behind you for the final time.

Epilogue: six years later...

115.17: Time’s arrow

“___! You made it, I’m so glad to see you!” Seokjin’s broad shoulders envelop you into a warm hug. You shoot Hoseok, Namjoon’s former roommate, a warm smile from across the room. It’s been too long.

“Drinks should be in the cooler over there, feel free to grab some food, and enjoy the party! I’ll be around at some point after I’m done playing host to ask you all about how your final year is going, so don’t you dare try to get out of it!” his thinly veiled threat is punctuated by the sounds of his windshield wiper laughter.

Some things never change.

You settle into a corner with a drink in hand, being swept into a conversation with some of Seokjin’s friends.

“___? Is that you?”

That voice. You are unable to turn, afraid to look him in the eye.

It’s been six years since you’ve seen Namjoon. Six years since you walked out of the library, all the young impulses and the misunderstandings that had distressed your relationship behind you. In that time, you’ve learned to heal others’ hearts as well as your own. You’re no longer as hot-blooded and easily affected by things. You’ve become stronger, and more capable of nurturing your own soul instead of looking to another for fulfillment.

The two of you tried to make good on your promise to keep in touch, but life got in the way. The texts stopped after a year, turning into sporadic well-wishes and wall posts on Facebook. But now he’s here, in the flesh.

“Hi Namjoon,” you spin, facing him. “Long time no see.” You’re surprised at the genuine smile that lights up your face in response to seeing him.

“Same to you. How’s the final year of med school going? I saw your post on Facebook that you’d matched into a program for cardiothoracic surgery. Congratulations, I’m so proud of you,” Namjoon looks upon you with the same fond smile he had the moment he bumped into you on that cold, dark floor of the library so long ago.

“Thanks, Namjoon. How have you been? Seokjin told me you’d recently moved back to the city.”

“Remember 시조 (sijo), ___? The poetry that is supposed to represent -”

“Your current tune,” you finish his sentence for him.

“You remembered,” he says breathlessly. “I’ve been writing recently, not anything professional at all, but just songs and poems. I’m compiling a portfolio to go back to school and get my MFA in Literature and Poetry.”

Tears spring into your eyes. “Namjoon, that’s great, I’m proud of you too.”

“___!” Hoseok ushers you over, “Come join us for a round of beer pong!”

“Namjoon, it was nice seeing you again. Maybe we’ll see each other around sometime.”

“Wait! ___!”, he touches your arm lightly as you turn back around.

A blush colors his cheeks as a sheepish grin falls over his face. He stares down at a speck on the floor.

“There’s a new library that just opened on the corner of 5th and Oak St. I was wondering if you’d like to go check it out sometime?”

For the first time in many years, Namjoon doesn’t make your breath catch in your throat and your pulse begin to race, but instead fills your heart with a deep sense of fondness and contentment. Maybe this library will no longer be an archive of your longings, but an incunabulum of a fresh start.

“I’d like that a lot.”

A/N pt. 2: It’s finished!! I wanted to leave Namjoon and the reader's relationship at the end open to interpretation. I think this fic was more about their feelings than the events that unfolded. I’m not sure I’ll write another story ever, but I’m very proud of this one. Any comments or feedback are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway.

With all my love,

Isi 💜

Taglist: @papillonsgf @jinpanman @cutechim @btsarmy9593 @sunshinekims @dinamitae

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