#cos like did san know KNOW that song?

[dairyminki]

just found out while i was scrolling thru tiktok that choi san the loml sang the songs until i found you and my love???? like hello idk how he knows abt westlife but im crying ㅠㅠ

[sunny-knight]

@forgettable-au FAN ANIMATION ! LOUD NOISE WARNING!

*What was it all for…?

Song: Vishnu <3 by Peter Cat Recording Co.

…okay.

The main inspiration for this…can be summed up with I LOVE HOW SAD THIS CONCEPT IS. BUT i also adore how WEIRD it is.

This whole thing must be pretty weird and creepy for the characters right??? Like- we dont know for certain what EXACTLY is gonna happen, but we know for a fact that Wingdings finds out hes in a game, then kills himself so he can be closer with god-

THATS PRETTY WEIRD 😭😭 also sad but we can ignore that for now

I also experimented a tad with this in working with silence, so timing things at my own pace! It was really hard! I HAD SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!

But, time for my FAVORITE PART….ANALYSIS!!!

DISCLAIMER: some things stated as fact haven’t been said in the blog/arent canon to the au itself, just my animation/theories/interpretation, cause i’m silly and headcanoning :3

TITLE:

The proper title ive given this is “To You” which means 2 different and very vague things. What happened to you? and sending a message like “this is To You”.

In that case, “you” is whichever version of Papyrus/Wingdings/Gaster you want- Its not exactly clear which version of him means “you” which is kinda the point. The lines blur together sometimes…

But yeah, Gaster/crazy WD sends messages TOO himself so they’re “To You”

CONTEXT

Wingdings has JUST turned himself into Gaster. Ignore how impossible Sans interacting with him in this moment is, and just hear me out on the angst possibilities-

SCENE 1

As Sans approaches the mess- Gaster is encased in shadow, and looks at him. Expression not telling much- just looking blankly. Doesn’t even look like he’s alive… just… moving. Also the eye thats open, is just a slit. because- perspective. BUT I also had fun putting that there and going hehehehe it looks like WD/Papyrus’ eye

Sans approaches, and getting engulfed in the shadow, leaving the light.

His expression here was REALLY fun and REALLY hard to draw. Angry? maybe. stunned and terrified? DEFINITELY.

In this context (that doesn’t have a lot to go off of with the comics, YET) Sans knows that this was all very much intentional. He absolutely does not want to be angry, and is certainly only feeling it subconsciously.

But… he wanted so badly to understand, and enter his brother world. But now, Sans is just… Baffled. Hes like “what the fuck did you do???”

SCENE 2

Gaster continues to look blank. Looking up at Sans as he approaches, encasing him in even more shadow.

Sans’ hand reaches to Gasters face. From Sans’ perspective, his intentions are like checking for a pulse. Not literally ofc cause pulses arent on our face- but like, feeling for him. For a sign that something is there. (It’s also meant to be something motherly/comforting)

But then, Gaster leans into the touch, somewhat reciprocating this wordless “ive got you” gesture. That’s what makes Sans go from Terrified to just purely grief stricken. His brother is still alive. And he loves him.

But this form wont last for long…For universe fixing screw ups reasons :D 👍

SCENE 3

Gaster then opens his eyes, revealing hes even still got eye lights available for him. Thats what just SHATTERS the dam, and Sans embraces him suddenly.

SCENE(S) 4

Then, the “reset” happens, Gaster is gone, and Papyrus appears in place of Wingdings in his bed.

Nothing is boiling to add to a “frozen in terror” feeling!

Now- drawing all of the differences between the past and present rooms. DESTROYED ME. i HAD SO MUCH FUN BUT I ALSO CRIED 😭 There are no thank-you letters to santa, no racecar bed, no silly bone painting, no action figures, just BORING

I also wanted to keep everything monochromatic, so ofc we’ve got black and white for the void/Gaster, blue for Sans, red for Papyrus, and purple for Sans and Papyrus together.

The tape recorder and lab coat are still greyscale though cause Wingdings still has SOME of his stuff lying around. But the tapes are indecipherable, and Papyrus threw out that lab coat the first chance he got. It gave him the absolute worst feeling, worse than anything he’s ever experienced.

Something I also really enjoy is the fact that the dress shirts were still technically Wingdings’ but they’re red for Papyrus. The lab coat is the only real WINGDINGS thing that Papyrus wants absolutely no part in. Some things that were Wingdings’ are now Papyrus’ cause :D👍

in place of the bone painting are just family photos that I also have extra to say about. Someday I wanna make a comic of what happened to those/what I think would happen to em.

One day Papyrus is like “HEY UH- SANS! THESE PHOTOS! I DON’T LIKE LOOKING AT THEM! CAN WE NOT!?” Aka, he doesn’t remember these things happening/these photos being taken… BUT THEYRE PHOTOS OF HIM.

So he just feels really uncomfortable looking at memories he should reasonably remember, but doesn’t at all- and Sans gets that. But he keeps em in his drawer. Then! they hung up the bone thing in place of it cause SILLY!

But the family photos, I still had fun with. From left to right theyre a photo of Semi with the twins, the twins as baby bones, then as slightly older kids, then WDs graduation photo.

CONCLUSION!

This entire thing was so much fun, and I feel i’ve really grown as an artist over the process of experimenting and not being knocked down by annoying setbacks,

Also, as usual, Works In Progress’ plus extra behind the scenes stuff will be posted shortly after this!! YIPPEEE!!! HAPPY NIGHTMARES!!!!!

OHHHH ALSO EXTRA ART!!!

“AREN’T THEY BEAUTIFUL?”

That silly moment when your clone is really weirdly obsessed with stars and enthusiastically holds your eye sockets open to show you them

[crowthis]

PFC Eugene B. Sledge

Co. K, 3rd Bn., 5th Marines

First Marine Div.

c/o FPO San Francisco Calif.

Dec. 7, 1944

Dear Pop,

I received the packages of nuts & laundry powder & brushes. They really make my washing a lot easier. The Hersheys, cheese crackers, more cookies, cocoa, and Georgia Cottage earth arrived. The latter I sprinkled around my bunk & I feel like I'm once again on family ground. I really I certainly got a kick out of the crow foot & feathers & attached cards.

I read "Song to Remember" in a movie magazine this morning. It was the gist of the movie of the life of Fred Chopin. It was very interesting & I enjoyed it. Every one in my tent gets a lot of pleasure from the magazines you & Mummie have sent. I lay in my bunk by the hour & read. You & Mummie can rest assured that I've enjoyed your packages equally as much as you did sending them. I certainly appreciate it and all the love they represent.

If you can't find me some sort of 98[cent] watch & if my wrist watch is repaired please send the latter to me as I do need some sort of watch. Be sure & insure it. Do you remember the small pipe you had with the metal filter & shaped [picture of pipe]. I liked it for its strait, screw on stem, small squatty bowl & metal filter. I thought if you could find it I'd like it if you don't use it. The pipe I have [picture of pipe] is from Sid & pretty nice but I prefer a metal filter & don't like a tall bowl. I guess I'm lowly for asking for anything after all the wonderful packages. I hope you don't think I'm greedy. Tell Mom all the contents of the packages have been fresh and good & all the packages arrived in fine shape. All the boys say I'm really blessed with devoted parents. I inform them thats very very true. I got a nice package from Uncle Woolsey & I wrote him last nite.

Well Pop I have run out of news. As I look over at my bunk with a copy of Field & Stream & a box of cookies on it I feel the need to remove my shoes & relax. This rest snows me but I guess we really earned it. My love to you & Mummie.

Devotedly, Gene

(over)

P.S. Give Floyd my regards & the same to the Wares. Tell them I hope I'm back home hunting with you in the big field next Dec. 7. I got a nice letter from Ed yesterday & I wrote last nite. I hope the rest of the little ducks get along O.K.

Love, Gene

Two packages just arrived. One from Mom & one from Mrs. Butler. Some cheese crackers & a flashlight and some lifesavers were in the boxes. Pop please cease sending baby canned food. It's too rich for me & besides the mortar section takes great glee in "Say Sledgehammer did you get any baby food today?" I can take teasing but thats too much. Be careful how you tell Mummie because I don't want to hurt her & besides everything else is swell. I wrote you about it for I know you'll understand. Now don't let Mummie misunderstand & get her feelings hurt. Tell her its too rich for me, it really is. Everything else is just what I like.

Love, Gene

[loveforaugust]

my sister’s wedding / j. seresin

pairing: jake seresin x reader, best friend!reader x bradley bradshaw, bradley bradshaw x oc

summary: while you love your sister’s new husband bradley, you most certainly do not love his mouth but good looking co worker

“I truly never thought I’d see me sister this happy until she met Bradley,” you were finishing off your maid of honor speech, laughing into the microphone. “They complete each other, if Sarah said she wanted to moon, Brad would do anything to get her the moon. Sarah traveled the world with him, seeing Japan, Florida, and sunny California. If anything proves true love, it’s these two. There’s no one I’d be happier to have as a brother, welcome to the family, Brad. And congratulations to you both!”

Bradley and Sarah gave you a hug, you laughed as Sarah had tears down her face. “Better take care of your wife, Bradshaw.” You teased, rubbing her back gently. You wandered over to the bar, swaying slightly as you waited in the long line.

“Beautiful speech up there,” the guy behind you spoke up. You smiled happily turning to meet his bright green eyes. He was taller than you wear, hair gelled into neat strokes. He was wearing a matching blue suit to your dress.

“Thanks! I’m Y/N, bride or groom?”

“Jake, I fly with Bradley.” He shook your hand. “What’re you drinking tonight, Y/N?”

“Strictly champagne for me! I’m on orders to make sure nobody gets plastered and ruins the wedding!”

“Well I’ll be on my best behavior. I’m a known wedding crasher.” He smirks as he orders a champagne for you.

“Ooh please share Lieutenant!” Your eyes lit up as you stared at him.

“I tend to leave a trail of broken hearts at these events. Especially military weddings.” Jake tipped the waiter and you walked towards the dance floor. You laughed at him as he explained one of his buddies weddings that he’d attended last month.

You learned all about his special name (he called it a call sign) and what had earned him that nickname. “In my defense, I’ve gotten better. That was like 10 years ago. I’ve been promoted since then too.”

“You’re something else, Jake.”

“Is that a good thing? Or should I be concerned?” He teased, leaning against the post beside you. You smiled up at him, a warm feeling covering your face.

“I’m still trying to decide myself!”

“Would a dance help you consider?” You laughed and grabbed his outstretched hand, setting down your drinks and allowing him to lead you out to the dance floor. A slow song played, one of the many Sarah and Brad had picked for their playlist.

“You know you’re not too bad of a dancer.”

“So my dancing skills are subpar, I’ve made you laugh like three times, and I’ve got a steady income, what else can a guy like me do to impress you?” He swayed you softly to the music, his hand resting on your waist gently.

“Ah the ultimate question. Real talk, Lieutenant, how often are you gone? Would you like a housewife or a spouse, and how many kids?” You quizzes him, gently brushing a strand of hair from your face.

To be honest, you hadn’t made your mind up about him yet. He was gorgeous and charming, and surprisingly nice but you almost needed to buy yourself more time to decide if you wanted him to break your heart or not.

“I go where the Navy calls, as of right now, we’re holding a permanent station out in Miramar. We haven’t been deployed for any missions besides the one but I believe that’s my new permanent base.” He raised his eye brows at you.

“That’s so convenient. I actually work in San Diego.” You informed him. He smiled at you.

“What do you do?”

“Pediatric doctor, I work in a hospital.”

“Impressive, how’d you decide to do that?”

“Helped me and Sarah through our childhood. She was sick a lot so we were in and out of hospitals. I saw what they did first hand and was just inspired. How about you? How do you wake up one day and just decide to fly a jet?”

“Well, Y/N, I’m a legacy. My dad did it, his dad before him did it and so on and so forth.” You nodded you head, watching him closely. The dimple in his cheek was showing up and he had the whitest teeth you’d ever seen.

“Staring awfully hard, darling, anything you’d like?” He teased, biting back a smirk. You rolled your eyes.

“You’re quite the charmer, Seresin.”

“Have I charmed you into a date yet?” You held up your fingers, signaling how close he was. “Ooh so close, do you need another compliment? Anymore questions I can answer?”

“One last thing: your thoughts on marriage.” You laughed lightly.

Jake looked over at Bradley and Sarah laughing and dancing with each other. “I think once you find your person, there’s nothing more romantic than making that kind of promise.” You smiled up at him, shaking your head.

“You just seem like the perfect man. Hiding any dangerous qualities under there? Or just the normal amount like the rest of us?”

“I’d say the normal amount.”

“Well you’ve persuaded me. Congratulations, are you free next Tuesday?”

“I’ll pick you up at 8.”

[gcgauthier]

(RECORD STORE DAY 4/20/24) It's been ten long years since Jennifer Nelson's landmark "David versus Goliath" lawsuit (Good Morning To You Productions vs. Warner Chappell (2013-2015)) was at its high-point in Federal Court.

Along with her eventual win - and the creation of an Award-Winning Documentary about her journey - her actions not only drew attention to some dirty, little copyright law abuses, but she also managed to raise public awareness of what a single person was capable of accomplishing.

I couldn't resist her story! Her heroic achievement is not only inspirational, but has also become an integral part of world history!

Accomplishments like these need to be recognized, and the only way I know how to do it is to write and perform silly, little cartoon songs - which I did - hence, this record.

(Ahh, the ear-worms of childhood, right?)

Anyway, "Glucksey's Birthday Song," is available on all major streaming platforms, and FOR FREE on YouTube, (keyword - "Glucksey.") Also, please feel free to share the song with ANYONE who's having a birthday! (It should annoy them for only a minute.) And last but not least, I want to thank you all for your constant love and support. None of this could have been possible without you. Your friend, Chrizzz.

GET YOUR FLEXI-COPY AT THE FOLLOWING NORTH AMERICAN LOCATIONS (April 20, 2024). SUPPLIES ARE EXTREMELY LIMITED! - Chilliwax Records, Chilliwack, BC V2P 2C8 - Beat Street Records, Vancouver BC V6B 1L4 - Sloth Records Calgary, AB T2S 0B7 - Sonic Boom Records Toronto, ON M5T2C7 - Twist And Shout Records Denver, CO 80206 - Supervinyl, Los Angeles, CA 90036 - A-1 Record Shop, New York, NY 10009 - Amoeba San Francisco, San Francisco, CA 94117 - Easy Street Records & Cafe - Seattle, WA 98116 - Electric Fetus - Minneapolis, MN 55404 - Louisiana Music Factory, New Orleans, LA 70116 - Music Millennium, Portland, OR 97214 - Waterloo Records Austin, TX 78703

[timetoletmyimaginationfly]

You’re Not So Bad

Nanami Kento x Reader

(Song: Little Bit by Lykke Li)

The day is beautiful. All the sorcerers were outside either training, studying, or hanging out. You were training Nobara and Maki. Nobara was taking her break while you had a combat with Maki.

“You’re making me proud, Maki!” you exclaimed happily as you dodged her attacks. Maki continued her stunt, but you counteracted her. “Break time!” Maki groaned and sat down on the ground.

“Sensei! Sensei!” Nobara called. You drank your water as you walked towards her.

“Yes?” Her eyes glanced to the right. You looked over and saw Nanami and Gojo walking. “Nobara, your break’s over.”

“But I have five minutes left! You’re just heated because of Nanami-san.”

“At least he’s not an idiot unlike Gojo sensei,” Maki commented and took a quick glance with her eyes. “He’s looking at you, sensei.” They watched your cheeks turn a slight pink and the girls couldn’t help but smirk.

“Come on, sensei. What’s holding you back?” Nobara asked. You crossed your arms.

“Because he looks like the type of guy who thinks he’s better than everyone. Mister. Stoic. He seems so uptight too. Probably mean,” you said.

“Uhhh have you even interacted with him?” Nobara asked.

“Nope.” Nobara and Maki looked at each with a sweat-drop look. “I’m cutting the training short. I promise to give you two another training session soon.”

“Uh, o-okay!” Nobara said. Maki just sighed and sat down. The two girls started talking until they heard Gojo calling for them. They looked up and Nobara waved at her sensei.

“Why’d she leave?” Gojo asked. Nobara and Maki looked at each other then back at Gojo and then shrugged.

“Nanami-san, are you okay?” Nobara asked. Nanami was looking far ahead behind the two girls, watching your figure leave the area.

“Yeah,” he answered. “It’s like she hates me.”

“So you did see her look at you and walk away,” Maki said. Nanami nodded, fixing the glasses on his face.

“Funny how she says she hates you but blushes when you’re mentioned,” Nobara said.

“Oooh what about me?” Gojo asked.

“You weren’t even mentioned,” Maki said as she crossed her arms. “As if she would like someone like you.”

“Ouch, that hurts,” he dramatically said, clenching on to his chest.

“She blushed?” Nanami asked curiously with a raised eye brow. Nobara nodded.

“It was cute. Maki-san, wanna get some food?” Maki nodded.

“Do-Do you know where she went?” Nanami asked before the two girls left. Maki shrugged her shoulders and looked at Nobara.

“Mmmm probably with Ieiri-san,” she answered. “Or the library.”

“Thank you,” Nanami said and went ahead. Gojo watched him with a smile.

“Does Nanami-san like her too?” Gojo smiled. With that question, his long unanswered question about your feelings towards Nanami has been answered.

“I KNEW SHE DID!” Gojo exclaimed. “But, I think so.”

Nanami saw Shoko alone. She told him to head to the library if he was looking for you. Nanami thanked her and rushed to the library. He was relieved to see you reading. He could tell you were pretending to not notice him.

“For some reason you hate me. I want to know your reasons,” he said. He watched your head turn to hide your face. He slightly smirked at your flushed cheeks. When you glanced at him and saw the smirk, it started irritating you.

“See?! That’s why,” you said. “You have that arrogant look to you. You got that ‘I’m better than everyone’ type of vibe.” Nanami raised an eyebrow.

“You sure you aren’t talking about Gojo-san?”

“I’m sure.” Nanami chuckled. He pulled out the chair in front of you and sat down, his legs crossed and right arm leaning on the back of the chair.

“I’m the total opposite of Gojo-san.”

“You don’t seem like it. Being a little too playful right now. I can hear it in your tone.” Nanami chuckled again, leaning forward against the table.

“You make it easy to be playful around,” he said. “And it says a lot for me. Because I like looking like an arrogant stoic, asshole.” You blushed. You remember calling him that to yourself a couple of weeks ago.

“You’re too observant,” you mumbled.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he said.

“Hey, I’m not your sweetheart or anything,” you said as you crossed your arms and legs.

“Says the one with the blushing face,” he said. “I think I know what I need to do now.” Nanami stood up and pushed the chair back in. “But to be honest, I don’t know what came over me. But, I’m glad I got the chance to converse with you like this. I’ll see you later, sweetheart.” You blushed again as you watch Nanami leave the library.

Nanami closed the door and leaned back against it. He took a couple of deep breaths while placing his hand on his beating chest. ‘I can’t believe I spoke to her like that,’ he thought. He thought of so many ways to approach and say to you. He could think of different conversational scenarios but not this one.

He knew that you weren’t a big fan of him which only hindered him. And after hearing you call him an arrogant stoic asshole, Nanami really wanted you to know him. Knowing that you blush because of him gave him a boost of confidence. And with the way you act around him, he couldn’t help but remain playful-like to you.

You watched Nanami open doors for you, pull out your chairs, and make sure you’re in the inside of the sidewalk when you two are together.

“Are you…Do you…” you paused. You wanted to spend some time in the city and go shopping. You didn’t feel like being by yourself and the only one who is free is Nanami. “I’m going to the city.” Nanami smiled and nodded. He walked side by side with you, doing every gentleman act towards you.

“What’s the plan?” he asked curiously.

“I just want to shop.” You looked around the shops and Nanami observed. He watched you go towards certain items, paid attention to the details they have to have a clue on what you’re interested in. You pulled out a beige colored sweater dress with a loose turtle neck.

“That would look beautiful on you,” he said. You blushed.

“You think so?” you asked.

“Try it on,” he said and looked around. He walked over to the stacks of belts and pulled out a brown one. “Here, wear this if it’s baggy on you. And…” He found matching leg warmers. “I think this would go well. You have boots at home right?” You were speechless.

“I—okay.”

Everyday you were proven wrong about Nanami. And you can admit, you definitely don’t hate him. He’s not an arrogant asshole. But the stoic comment remains. But you hate how he makes you feel flustered all the time.

“Here,” he said as he handed you a small bag as he put a small piece of paper in his pocket.

“What is it?” you asked curiously while looking inside the bag. You found a golden chain bracelet. “Oh that’s cute. You didn’t have to buy me this.”

“I didn’t mind it,” he replied, his voice a little quieter.

“Can you help me put it on?” Nanami nodded and you handed him the bracelet. He unclasped the bracelet and wrapped it around your wrist, clasping it shut. “Th-Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said. “Give me your bags.” Before you could answer, he took the three large shopping bags from your hands. “Do you want dinner?”

“I’m not opposed to it,” you said. Nanami reached for your hand. He waited for your resistance but when you held his hand tighter, he intertwined his fingers with yours, leading you to an all you can bbq restaurant. “Can we stop at the bookstore?”

“Of course.”

“And you’re going to walk me home.”

“I wasn’t going to let you walk home alone.” You couldn’t help but let a smile out. Nanami flipped the meat on the grill. “Fine. I take back what I said and think about you. You’re just stoic.” Nanami lightly laughed. “You’re a gentleman and very sweet. Too sweet probably.”

“Sweet enough to take you out on an official date soon?”

“This weekend.”

“Yes, sweetheart.” You couldn’t help but smile at your new favorite nickname.

[writingsfromhome]

Golf on TV

Ask: fluffy piece based on Lennon Stella’s Golf on TV (sorry I deleted the original ask but this song is so fluff so ty!)

—————————

I wake up to the bed made, for a second I don’t know where I am. My sleep-addled brain tries to catch up to the present moment. The present morning.

I was in bed, in my new home. It was Saturday morning.

Last night had been a late one. I was the co-lead in an intense case at work and the plaintiff’s team had been smoking our ass in court. Last night we’d gotten boxes of newly admitted evidence and every single person stayed well into the AM to sort it out. The other side liked to play dirty and this is how they did it. Little did they know we’d found our smoking gun. Never underestimate Stewart, Stone, and Nowak.

But I’d gotten home and passed out on the couch. Well, I’d gotten home to Harry passed out on the couch with the TV on. He must have tried staying up for me even though I had told him to go home. But he stayed.

I remember the tension leaving my body just seeing him snuggled on the couch, his face a kaleidoscope of colours reflecting off from the TV. I’d met Harry less than a year ago, a meet cute moment where both of us had gone for the same taxi. He’d waved me in like a gentleman and I’d invited him to share it. Turns out we were only going a few blocks from each other.

He was from London, in San Francisco for work. The taxi ride had been 27 minutes in total but in that time it felt like we’d known each other for 27 years.

As soon as I saw him on the couch, I’d dropped my jacket there, and gotten in beside him. He’d barely stirred, and I passed out pretty quickly thereafter.

I sit up and the sham that was draped over me falls over the side of the bed. I check my watch, still on my wrist. It was past 7. A solid 4.5 hours—that was a restful night for me ever since I took this case on.

Harry must have carried me to bed, I realize. And I’d been dead to the world while he did.

I never expected to see him again after that taxi ride. Until a few weeks later, he was waiting for me in the courthouse lobby. He’d looked me up, saw I had a case that morning, and waited. It was his last week in San Francisco and he wanted to take me on a date. He hadn’t stopped thinking about me, he’d said. I hadn’t either.

I’d dated plenty before him, had several boyfriends, even a situationship. Harry was the first guy I ever felt relaxed around. From that first date he made sure I felt cared for, that I was happy—he was unafraid to put me first. Even when he had to go back to London and we were long distance for three and a half months, we were always talking.

I’d felt unwanted before. Those were the days I chased after boys that only liked me for doing the chasing. Never did they actually want me. Because when they got me, they’d leave and keep me chasing them forever. Harry had never once been shy about the fact that he wanted me. That he chose me over everything.

We were always running towards each other. Never after each other.

I blink away the sleepiness and notice Harry had put me in a tshirt. It was the little things.

That’s when I hear the voices coming from downstairs. Harry…and my mom.

It was time to get up.

“Good morning princess,” my mom spots me first. I looked bad this morning—even though Harry had attempted to take my makeup off whenever he’d taken me to bed, and replaced my slacks for shorts, I still had craters for eye bags and a tangled bedhead, and dehydrated and inflamed skin from sleeping with makeup. But mom never stopped calling me princess.

“Harry and I were just making pancakes,” she points to the griddle behind her. God, mom loved Harry. It was weird because she’d only ever met 2 of my boyfriends since I started dating as a teen. She hated both of them and was never shy about it. All the others she’d heard about over the phone or a late night snack at her house back when she lived close to where I worked. She hated them all equally. “We’re worried you’re not eating enough.”

I catch eyes with Harry, it was a constant argument with us. But it was hard to eat with a regular appetite when I was so close to the end of big cases. He knew that. He used my mom as a shield to push his own agenda, they worked as a team like that.

But it never made me mad. It was more caring than any ex had ever been.

“Pancakes are your favourite,” Harry says while towel-drying his hands. He’d been ‘washing up’, as he would say with his accent.

“They are,” I say as he walks around the island to me and kisses my cheek. He was always weirdly chaste around my mom, nothing like his behaviour late nights in bed.

Mom grins at me from behind him. She was obsessed.

So was I though.

“Let’s eat!” Mom says. “C’mon, we gotta eat before they get cold. Y/N grab the fruit behind you.”

“Sure mom,” I grab the bowl she prepared. Harry watches mom leave the kitchen with the pancakes and syrup. As soon as she’s out of sight he tugs me right against him.

“Y’know you don’t have to wait for her to leave to be my boyfriend?”

“Is that what I am?” He nuzzles my neck. “I thought I was just your boy-toy.”

“Nah,” I let him kiss me even though we’re both smiling. “My boy-toy’s like, 5 years younger than you are.”

“Yeah well, he’s not the one trying to take your makeup off at 5am while you talk about invoices and flash drives.”

“Oops,” I must have been talking about our smoking gun in my sleep. I couldn’t even rest unconscious. “Thank you for that. You could have left me on the couch.”

“Maybe if I was your boy-toy. But I’m your strong English boyfriend, I take you to bed.”

“And you do it so well,” I pat his arm condescendingly, stealing one more kiss before skirting away. I leave him chuckling in the kitchen and gathering the coffee for breakfast.

Before Harry, I didn’t realize love could be so selfless. That it didn’t have to hurt all the time. That one person could be enough.

“Y/N?” Mom asks. “What do you think?”

“Huh?” I’d gotten lost in thought and I see Harry smirk. I guess I was just staring at him.

“For your dad’s birthday coming up?!” She sighs. “I’ve been talking about his dinner—Harry said he has to go back to London the week before. I thought we could do a birthday dinner early so Harry can be there. You know your dad would like that.”

He would. My dad was just as keen on Harry, telling me that he was good for me—the way a man should be. Those were his exact words.

I remember I’d been confused at first when Harry and I started long-distance dating. He was more stable and consistent than relationships I’d had where we lived inches apart. Being long-distance, I’d only missed him physically when we were apart, he was still there for me in every other way.

When he officially transferred to his San Francisco office 5 months ago, he had surprised me. I remember opening my door to him standing there with flowers and macarons—my favourite dessert. I’d nearly smashed them all when I screamed and threw myself onto him.

After that moment I knew I was done with romanticizing dysfunction and compromising. His love was healthy and pure, and it was for me.

I tried my best to give that to him in return. Lately I’d been a bad girlfriend working long hours and barely seeing him. But I’d make it up to him. He didn’t know this but I’d booked the same flight to London with him, that’s why mom was trying to move dad’s birthday dinner up. So I’d be there too.

“Sounds great,” I say. “That way we can all make it.”

“Perfect I’ll make us a reservation.” Mom picks up her phone and begins typing on it with one finger, one key at a time. She tsks, “Oh why is it doing this now.”

“Here Mrs. Y/l/n,” Harry holds his hand out. “What are you trying to do.”

“This new update has been driving me crazy,” she hand her phone to Harry. He glances at me and we bite back a smile. Mom was notorious for being Bad at Technology. But Harry was always patient and tried teaching her.

“The search bar’s on the bottom now,” Harry shows her. “That’s where you type it in.”

“It was fine at the top why do they always have to move it around, gah I’ll just do this on a computer.”

“Yeah no rush mom,” I say.

“Well I’ll clear the table now. I need to get going soon I have a squash game at half eight.”

“Yeah I need be in by then.” Court opened at 9:30 today and I had to be there a half hour early to submit what we had.

“You two stay here,” mom begins piling plates. She’s surprisingly strong when she snatches the mug Harry’s trying to take away himself. “Let me clean up. Then I’ll be out of your hair.”

“Thanks for the breakfast mom!” I shout as she heads away. Harry echoes a thank you.

“Don’t thank me,” I hear her mumble as she walks away.

Me and Harry are left grinning at each other. He holds his hand out on the table and I clasp his.

“Your mum’s sweet.”

“My mum,” I tease him. I keep his hand held as I go around the table to his seat. He tugs me down onto his lap. “Did you actually call your mom mummy as a kid?”

“Did you call your mum mommy?” Harry asks in a decent American accent.

“Maybe,” I smile.

“Maybe.” He replies.

“I’ll just ask your mum when I meet her someday.”

“She really does want to meet you.” He says seriously. “She thinks I’m deliberately keeping you away.”

“Maybe you are, so she can’t answer all the burning questions I have about you.”

“I can just imagine you and her teaming up against me. My sister will join in too.”

I’d met his sister a few months back when she visited. We hit it on immediately just like Harry and I had. It was a bit of a relief.

“I can’t wait to swap stories over breakfast with your mom.”

“Oh you’d love her breakfast,” Harry smiles fondly. I feel a twinge then, sometimes I wondered if he ever got homesick. Especially when he talked about memories from home. “She does the best English breakfast. You’d have to try black pudding though.”

I crinkle my nose, “Isn’t that the one with the blood?”

“Mmmm it sure is,” he grips my hips and a shiver shoots up my spine.

“Gross! Why would anyone eat that? Or your-what’s that other pudding thing? The one you tried making last winter that’s all puffy-“

“Yorkshire.” He smiles.

“You literally poured hot oil on your mixture. It’s clogging my pores just thinking about it.”

“That’s it. You’re coming to London before the year is over and you’re going to be begging for more when you have a proper roast. What I made at home was a pathetic attempt.”

“Mmm I don’t get it.” I wrap my arms around his neck. “I just don’t get English food. It’s like people who wear crocs, or golf on TV, I don’t get it.”

“You just descibed,” Harry tucks my hair behind my ear, “the perfect date. We’re sorted for the weekend.”

I laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“But I love you.” I kiss him. He pulls me back to him when I part.

“I love you.”

“I really do need a shower before I head in though,” I remind him.

“Maybe I’ll join you,” he says low enough so my mom can’t hear.

“If you’re brave enough with mom still here.” I tease.

“Okay hon,” she pops out of nowhere. “I’m heading out. Good luck with court today.”

“Thanks mom.” I get up and give her a big squeeze. “I appreciate you dropping by.”

“Of course. And I’ll drop dinner by tonight I saw the state of your fridge, you should clean that thing out y/n.”

“Yess mom,” I roll my eyes. Harry snickers behind me. Mom should see his fridge, it was half beer cans and takeout containers.

While mom tells Harry about the dinner she would drop by for us I get a headstart on my shower. It was already quarter to 8 and I couldn’t waste any more time.

Harry joins me shortly after, he lowers my hands when he gets in and washes my hair slowly with care. I nearly pass out in the shower with how good his fingers feel on my scalp.

“Thank you,” I turn to him after I wash it out.

“Don’t mention it love,” he kisses my temple.

“Harry,” I suddenly feel choked up. I think his scalp massage had unblocked some chakra stuff because I’m suddenly overwhelmed with feeling.

“What?” He tilts my face up.

“I’m just…I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”

“Nonsense.” He swipes my tear away even though the stream of water makes it all the same.

“No I…I never thought I’d meet someone like you. I used to think love was hurting. It doesn’t make sense anymore-“

“Like golf on TV.”

“Yeah,” I laugh and it breaks up the knot in my throat. “Yeah like golf on TV. Now being in love feels like soccer-“

“Football.”

“Soccer,” I correct him. He grins. “It makes sense to me.”

“If you didn’t have work in 30 minutes,” Harry pulls me into him and crushes me against him. It feels good, like being held together. “You’d be face down in bed in the next 10 seconds.”

“Where’s this Harry when my mom’s around.” I tease.

“This Harry’s just for you.” He says just as he turns the shower off. I draw away as he grabs us some towels and I watch him with an unbreakable joy; if it was physical it could illuminate this tiled shower and bounce around the whole room.

He was the reason I got through all these gruelling hours for court. Because I knew I had someone waiting for me, that I could steal an hour away with, and it would leave me refuelled enough for another 24 hour work-day.

“Why are you smiling at me like that,” Harry asks as he hands me the towel. I shake my head and wrap it around me. He watches as I blow dry my hair, kissing my shoulder when I’m done.

“I’ll leave when you leave. Should I drop you off to the office?”

“Please?” I ask. “That’d give me an extra 5 minutes.”

His face lights up.

“No,” I say as he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. “No Harry I have to be early!”

“I only need 2,” he says as he launches me onto the bed. “Maybe 3.”

I pretend to be annoyed but I inch up in bed as he makes his way over and I can’t think of a better way to spend the extra 5 minutes. Or 10. Oops.

If the old me ever met the new me, she’d probably try to stop me. She didn’t know what love could look like. That it could be a gentle smile, a drive in to work, making sure you’re eating, helping your mom out with her phone, or washing your hair for you in the shower.

I’d tell her—the old me, that it was as simple as this: I wanted him, only him. And he wanted me too.

[kagejima]

pairing: msby jackals + gn!newbie manager

mood music: the call - backstreet boys

author's notes: look, i don't know what to tell you. one day "the call" by backstreet boys came on shuffle in my library and i have not been able to listen to it since without picturing msby doing chaotic karaoke to it. i had to do 160 edits to this, if I missed something, I will come back to it later fhdjfas

author's notes part deux: i will bite your ankles if you trash talk the other older members of MSBY, chomp chomp. y'all forget writers can see every tag.

content warnings: alcohol consumption; the song is about cheating on your girlfriend (just in case); mild daddy kink; mild size kink; mild sex mentions

It’s just a job. 

They are just your co-workers. 

That’s what you keep telling yourself. 

But it’s difficult to remember that when the members of the MSBY Black Jackals have invited you out to a night of karaoke… And every single one of them is so attractive that your heart feels like it’s going to beat out of your chest anytime they talk to you. 

How many other little managers in the past have been tortured by their good looks? With their smiles? With their flirting?

It’s a tradition!

That’s what Kotarou tells you, and you wonder if he means it’s a tradition for them specifically or a tradition for every team. 

It’ll be fun! 

That’s what Shugo tells you, but it’s hard to believe him. It’s only been two weeks since you started as their manager, so you think they’re just trying to have you included in things — a bonding thing with them as a team. 

But you wonder how it could possibly be fun for you when you’re the only non-player on this outing right now. 

Or maybe… 

Maybe that’s exactly how they wanted it to be.

After a couple of drinks and some chit-chat, they try to get you to go on stage in the crowded bar, but you refuse to. You don’t know what song you’d even sing, for one, and you don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of all of them, for two. 

With all of their encouragement, you still won’t budge, so they all start their own separate conversations with each other. 

However, you still can’t get them to tell you something you desperately want to know. 

“So what’s this song that you all are keeping a big secret?” You ask Shugo, who’s sitting next to you, and he only grins at you before taking a sip of his whiskey.

“I can’t tell you that, baby. Then it wouldn’t be a surprise. But I have to say, it’s fun to see the looks on everyone’s faces every year when we do it.”

“How come that makes me more nervous?” You squint at him.

Shugo only shrugs, still smirking, and it’s driving you nuts. 

Luckily Kiyoomi comes to your rescue. 

"They did it two days before an important match one time, and we ended up winning. So now they do it before the start of every season." Kiyoomi explains, albeit vaguely, and takes another swig of his vodka tonic.

“Can I at least know who sings it?” You ask, trying to think of every popular karaoke song off the top of your head.

Kiyoomi is about to give it away, but Atsumu clamps a hand over his mouth. The glasses rattle around on the table because Atsumu has shot up from his spot and lunged over the table to do so.

“Ya can’t ruin the surprise!” Atsumu whines, his hand pressing harder against Kiyoomi's mouth, “Don’t do it! Don’t do it!!”

Kiyoomi glares at Atsumu, but he obeys him. 

You’re about to try and trick Kotarou or Shoyo, thinking surely you can get the information out of them the easiest, but “Shugo plus party of 8??” comes through loud and clear on the speakers and they’re all downing their drinks before they make their way up to the stage.

Kiyoomi is the only one who stays seated with you.

“You’re not going up too?” You ask him, because it’s definitely not you included in the party of eight.

“I’m not needed until later.” is all he says.

…

Whatever the fuck that means.

When everyone sans Kiyoomi is situated on stage, a phone rings, and an incredibly familiar voicemail message starts playing. You look up at the stage and they all are vibrating with excitement like the voicemail is taking forever and a half.  

It’s a song you remember that your cousin was obsessed with back in the day, and it’s confusing to you that they’re getting excited over a song about cheating on your girlfriend.

But you digress. They all look like they’re having a fun time. 

You honestly don’t know whether to be happy or embarrassed since they’re all well past tipsy. Even with the alcohol coursing through their system, they’re all miraculously remembering who’s in charge of what lines. 

It’s quite a sight to see Alexander in the middle holding his microphone at stomach level with Shoyo and Shion on either side of him so they can actually use it. Alexander is new to the team, just like you, but he looks like he’s having the time of his life up there even though he doesn’t know the words like the others do. 

Atsumu and Kotarou are fighting over who gets to hold the microphone they have, tugging it back and forth because they’d rather have Ushijima beat them in an arm wrestling contest than not have all eyes on only them right now. 

Shugo, Adriah, and Oliver are as pally-wally as they can possibly get. If you didn’t know better, you would’ve thought they were actually brothers. Blissfully unaware of the chaos of Atsumu and Kotarou on the other end of the stage, Oliver is holding the microphone while Adriah and Shugo are on each side of him, their hands on Oliver’s shoulders and body as they throw their heads back and shout along to the chorus. 

You think that it can’t get any funnier, cheering along with the crowd as they are getting towards the end. 

But then the chair next to you scoots back in your peripheral vision. You watch Kiyoomi as he gets up and makes his way towards the stage, and everyone on the team is hyping him up, like they did this just to see Kiyoomi do… whatever the fuck he’s about to do. 

It’s almost like you’re experiencing a fever dream when you see Kiyoomi take the microphone from Atsumu’s hands and he belts out “GOTTA GOOOO-OOOO-OOOO” before the second to last chorus starts up. 

And then acts as if absolutely nothing happened before coming back to your table and sitting back down. 

When they finish, it’s met with wild applause, and you can’t help but join in on it yourself. You’re thankful their professional job is volleyball and not singing because they’re by no means stellar at singing - but that isn’t the point of karaoke. The point of it is to have fun.

When they all come back to the table, they all try again to get you to go sign up for a turn, and you reluctantly agree. Why not? They’ll probably be too drunk to remember you making an ass out of yourself.  

But you want to talk to someone first before you do. 

KOTAROU has golden retriever energy, through and through. He was the first one you met on your first day. You thought you would be meeting the captain first, but Shugo was running late. Kotarou made you feel more comfortable since you were slightly intimidated by it being your first real job. 

He was the first to ask you if he could have your phone number ("For… for work… purposes?" His lie was obvious with the way he was wincing and rubbing the back of his head, but you thought it was sweet). 

He was also the first to have to hide a boner from you. 

SHOYO reminds you of your younger brother. If your younger brother was jacked… and could jump scary high… and never stopped talking. You think he's adorable, and you think it's cute how strong of a bond he has with Kotarou, almost like he's Kotarou's little brother. 

You also think it's cute how he looks in your direction whenever he pulls off a fancy new move in practice. "Didja see!! Didja see me??" 

You have to reassure him that, yes, you definitely did watch him pull it off. You didn't though. You were too busy staring at him and wondering what his stamina would be like in bed if he were this way on the court. 

ATSUMU is the type of guy you had a crush on in high school. Even though he isn’t in school anymore, something about him still screams jock. Maybe it’s the hair or the way he carries himself. Maybe it’s the way everyone and their mother fawns over him, but he just gives you jock vibes still. 

Or maybe it’s how he kissed your hand and introduced himself to you at that first practice (half of the team groaned at this). Perhaps it’s the way he made a cute nickname for you the following week, or maybe it’s the way he only has eyes for you. 

It’s almost like you put a spell on him, and he's hopelessly in love with you. So much so to the point that when Osamu came to drop off food at a practice, he literally shoved him out the door so you wouldn't fall for him instead. 

KIYOOMI makes you giggle with his comments when the others are getting out of hand. He thinks he isn’t heard, but he fell for you because you paid attention to him. Every sly remark that passed his lips, all the sarcastic commentary he thought he was getting away with about the other teammates, never got past you. It was like a little secret between the two of you. Little inside jokes.

He’s also the one who wants to get to know every little thing about you that he can. You keep hearing from the others that he can be blunt with how he speaks, but he’s never spoken that way to you. Instead, he’s always been very kind and thoughtful, never rude at all. There’s something sweet to you about him and how he awkwardly asks you questions about yourself to get to know you better. 

SHION is your little partner in crime. Sort of. Kotarou made you feel more at ease, but you feel like Shion just got you when it came to pranks and silliness. It’s usually Shion that’s brainstorming the tricks, and you wonder how long he’s been thinking about doing things like this to his teammates. It’s almost like he’s doing it just to keep himself sane from the chaos he has to put up with on a daily basis. 

So you’re a little surprised when “We should get together for a date!” comes tumbling out of his mouth, and he quickly backtracks. “I mean… I thought of something hilarious we could do to Atsumu next practice. But we should get together to… umm… discuss it. Is that a date? Is that weird? It doesn’t have to be a date if you don’t want it to be.”

SHUGO knows. He knows all the things that only someone with experience knows. You want to look inside his head because there is no possible way he knows all the right things to say in every scenario. He’s too good to be true. 

And you still hate that after one practice, you were delivering the freshly laundered uniforms and saw him slip his shirt off, and you just stood there. And instead of saying his actual name, you called him Daddy. 

He still hasn’t let you live it down. 

You have to regularly converse with him since he's the captain, but he takes every opportunity he can to watch you squirm. Like how he'll bring you something you asked for - a notebook, a pencil, your phone - and he gives you the biggest shit-eating grin as he stands there and says, "Aren't you forgetting something?" 

He lives for your reactions when he leans closer to your ear and says, "Aren't you going to say 'Thank you, Daddy'?" 

ADRIAH has older brother energy. He’s the one who is always helping Shugo reign in the others (especially Kotarou and Atsumu when they get pouty). He’s asking how you’re adjusting to managing the team when there’s a break. 

He’s nice. Almost too nice. It’s to the point where you’re wildly suspicious of his motives when he talks to you. “Just tell me if you need anything!” is what he’s always telling you, a cheerful smile on his face. You do write it off as he’s just nice though a couple of days later when you can’t find evidence not to trust him. 

But you don’t know. 

You don’t know he goes home and hopes someday you’ll tell him, “You. I need you.” You don’t know he goes home and touches himself to thoughts of you. You don’t know that he’s plagued with dreams of you whimpering his name and begging him to fill you up, seeing pretty little tears spill from your eyes as your legs shake around him.  

OLIVER is big. At 6’10”, everything about him is enormous. His laugh and his smile are what caught your eye the most though. If Adriah has older brother energy, Oliver has your best friend’s goofy dad energy. And a man of that height? Others would find him intimidating, but he’s not. The very opposite. He's the most good-hearted person you've ever met.

Like when he asked you how your friend was doing after her surgery and he sent flowers to the hospital. Or the time he walked you home from practice because it was too dark out. 

"Do you want me to carry you?" He had offered because practice was grueling that day, and you had been running on very little sleep.

You don't want to talk about how you realized you maybe had a size kink that night, with how his big strong arms carried you all the way back to your house like you were nothing to him (You weren't). 

ALEXANDER is the kind of dreamy and rich lead you read about in your books. His taste in clothing, accessories, and fine dining is absolutely divine. You’ve made plans with him a week from now to go shopping and to a new restaurant you both are dying to try. 

He’s traveled much more than the others, which is saying something. He always has fun little anecdotes to tell. And you love listening to him speak. You could listen to him for hours with his voice - deep and smooth. You keep telling him he would be good at ASMR content, but he almost replies… shyly… almost submissively, when you tell him this. 

Sometimes you wonder if his voice would have the same quality if you were to be on top of him. 

You look at the men all around the table, most of them having their own conversations, but a few of them have been watching you, dying for you to look at them so they can talk to you. 

And really, they all are more than willing to give you their undivided attention. 

The only question is… 

Who has your attention for the rest of the night?

[oumiyuki]

First Outdoor Live for Shuka and me: Saito Shuka 5th Anniversary Shuen 2024: Tenshi to Akuma no Sasayaki 👼😈

Gosh, how do I even begin…?

First, I just want to let everyone know how hot it was XD I’m already someone who sweats a lot and the heat from the Sun returning the same passionate feelings as us Shukajins and Shuka ;D was simply…! HOT!!

For Day 1 (17 August 2024, Saturday), I did not have the leeway of using my analog hand fan or the Aqours electronic fan I had on hand as I was finding my way around Saitama to get to Tobu Zoo where Shuka’s Live was being held.

As you all know, I was running late due to that! And it was also because I made the mistake of still wearing my watch – that made me think I still had time, but Japan is one hour ahead of Singapore! XD Gyaahh!

I feel like the guide Shuka and staff left about exiting from the North Exit and it being a 10 minutes walk to Tobu Zoo is…for people in the know XD and interestingly, the station itself had a paper put up guiding visitors to take the West exit! So well, I followed that instead.

I was already running late, I was attempted to follow guys that wore Converse shoes cos that’s a good way to guess that they are Shuka fans heading to her Live venue but because I was already late, I figured it’s not wise to follow random dudes in hopes they are going to the zoo XD So don’t worry, I didn’t. Instead, I went to the bus and asked the nice bus driver uncle if it goes to Tobu Zoo >v<

When I made it there, 2 lady staff was waiting in a tent and helped me put on the wrist band for the zoo pass and Shuka’s Live pass – thank you! Because I would’ve been stumbling to put it on (I was fumbling with it for Day 2 XD) The nice ladies then told me it’s another 15 mins to Shuka’s Live venue and I was like – “Ah, thank you.” On the outside. But inside my mind, I was like, “Ehhh!? Another 15 mins?! Even though I’m already late. Mouuuu!!” And I jogged and sped walk my way to the venue XD

The “good” thing of being late is that you get to be led to Shuka’s venue by her wonderful singing voice XD

I also like how when I ran past the attraction for a roller coaster ride that had tall stones with Egyptian carvings on it and some other horrific poster near it, I was like, “Yeah nope, turn right because no way Shuka’s Live venue is where something scary is XD” And it is the right way to continue on my way.

[Egytian carvings to the left, let the Shuka poster be your guide]

Speeding things up, because why would you want to know what else I saw on the way there, right? >v<``

When I neared the Live venue, that’s where you’ll see the Live Goods tent too. As I ran pass, I saw the merch I wanted sold out already so I was a bit sad but more importantly!! I could sense Shuka already XD Jogging in and slowing to a walk so as to not disturb anyone, I tried looking for my seat but it was like “BWAAHH!! AAHHH!! WOOO!!!” energy from lots of guys cheering so I was like “Never mind, I’ll stay at the back” XD

I joined in just as Shuka started the Devil Side of the Live!! (Courtesy to the Shukajin who made a set list record so I could fact check where I popped in >w<) So, it was where Shuka was singing “Baby Tell Me”!

But truth be told, I can barely remember how the song went cos I laid eyes on Shuka in her Devil themed outfit and I was just speechless, eyes glued to how amazing she looks and while I was amazed by her shining on stage and performing, I was very much constantly thinking about how good she looks in that outfit XD

You’ve seen the pics, you felt the same way! I bet on it!! XD Aahhhhhhh!!! >w<♡♡♡

[mind blown, attention stolen, Devil Shuka is here]

Followed by a Medley of HYPED songs…!! *O*

Tsuki de hoshi de Taiyou da

Zenshin Zenrei

Ippai Attena

Bokura wa Genius

Excuse me, Shuka-san?? I believe this was where I jumped a bit too much and knocked my knees against the long bench XD And Miyuki here didn’t even realize it until she’s back in the hotel later to see the bruises. I’m telling you, the hype and high and smiles you feel from being on cloud 9 after experiencing a Shuka Live let’s you not feel pain XD But adrenaline aside, I did apply my essential oil blend that soothes pain so I’m guessing that’s why I could still go all out for Day 2! HAHAHA!

*coughs coughs* Back to the Live!

Shuka performs Darake next, and you can bet the energy explodes even more because everyone was looking forward to the 555 songs?? At least I was!!!

ShuShuShu is next and I had my Ai no Yajirushi towel with me so I took it out to twirl for this towel song!! Towel songs are so funnnn~ (I’ve been a fan of towel songs since μ's Mermaid Festa Vol.2, and have been looking forward to any towel songs. SO, I thoroughly enjoyed Shuka’s one too!!)

Mata Ashita was the next song. I vaguely remember me swinging my hands along to it >v<

I don’t remember where the MC part takes place, but I’m going to assume here where she had performed a bunch of songs already. Shuka mentions how she posted about her having a sore throat and that made everyone worry so she apologizes and reassures us that she is alright and in fact, super energetic >w< She’s adorable when showing how energetic she is. >w<

I felt that her sore voice wasn’t obvious in her singing which is really cool. Other than when she performed “Mikata”, that one was when you hear some scratchiness in her singing voice. Ah, and when she talked, that was when her scratchy voice was obvious.

Shuka calls out the dancers called “Gyaruz” to introduce them and that’s when a cute moment happens cos Shuka starts asking her band members if she forgot to introduce them XD Usually the flow would be to introduce her band members first! And so, her band members told her Shuka did forget and she was a little in denial about that like “I forgot?? Ehh? I forgot??” XD Too cute. And then she introduces each of them!

Shukajin then goes: “You forgot something!”

Shuka: “Mm?”

Shukajin: “Vocalist?”

Shuka smiles, “And the vocalist is Saito Shuka.”

And we all clap and cheer for her!! >w</

Somewhere in between the MC part is a conversation where Shuka makes a cute noise with her scratchy voice too and it was extra adorable. I think it might be where she was asking her band member if she forgot to introduce them? I don’t remember exactly, I just know she was adorable XD That voice was hnnggg XD

Oh, and Shuka asks if we got hit by the water she shot. And the reaction was… “Yes!!!” and she apologizes that only some got hit by the water? XD

I… …also remember Shuka saying that we have now seen Angel Shuka, Devil Shuka and now that she is wearing the Live Tee she is Real Shuka! (which is the purple coloured Tenshi to Akuma no Sasayaki t-shirt but cut up and redesigned into a different fashionable way which allows Shuka to show off her midriff when she dances >//w//< paired with her jeans-shorts. Healthy legs in display =//w//=b)

[Real Shuka and her midriff ahhhh >//w//<♡]

You know, now that I’ve reminisced to here, I wonder if Shuka performed One Piece and Kutsuhimo first before the MC part >v<``

Because, when wanting to lead into a song, birthday bgm plays by the band member and the Gyaruz girls help to bring out the birthday cake and we all sang “Happy Birthday” to Shuka!! >w<7 It’s always so fun singing it to her hehe~

Shuka sneaks some to eat and from there is where it became picture-taking time!!

I love how everyone sat down and Shuka was like, “If you sit, we can’t see you!”

Then, some of us stood up again. And Shuka continues to say, “Ah, but it’s okay, we can take a proper picture later.”

That leaves us lost as to whether we should sit or stand XD So some was sitting, some was standing XD

[Day 1 together picture; I can be seen hehe >v<]

The photo gets taken and we go on to have Shuka perform the final song Mikata.

Shuka thanks everyone after, running to the sides of the stage and back to the middle to bow, the Gyaruz and band members join her to join hands and bow to us too…

It’s always such a bittersweet feeling when the Live ends. And as she’s going back stage, she waves to us, smiles, bows, all of that. It doesn’t take long for her to disappear behind but it’s kind of slow motion in my memory…=v=

And once you hear the electronic announcer voice says it’s the end of Shuka’s Live, that’s when we clap real hard again and then start to disperse. :>

I was at the back so I just made sure to drink more water, wipe my sweat, take a photo of stage and the Sun shining through the ferris wheel to us. 😊I then bumbled my way over to the goods tent and checked what else is selling. Although the t-shirt and keychains were sold out already, the hood towel was still available! So I went to buy one >v</ (LITERALY NO REGRETS FOR THIS BUY. More about it in Day 2 gushings :P)

Aaaand, the next part of the tent is where they are selling Shuka CDs and whatnot, I already have all her CDs so I didn’t buy anything from there, so onto the third section of the goods tent, there was where a staff would give out a postcard with Shuka at a spot in Tobu Zoo where the bears are at! Super cute picture UwU Alongside the Stamp Rally card and he stamps Day 1 on it! The tiger is so cuteeeee!!! Look at her!! >w<

[Tobu Zoo kuma Shuka!]

Beside that booth, is a present box where we can put our gifts to Shuka there. So, I took out my gift for her and placed it gently inside ^w^ From what I noticed, I think not many knew if there will be a present box cos I think there was less than 5 presents including mine XD While on Day 2, I believe I spotted a bit more presents in the box XD I hope Shuka loves the present I chose for her!! \>w</ Woof woof!

(Gosh, I’m making you all read so many words. There’s no way y’all are reading all these, right? XD To you who read all the way to here. Thank you. And I hope you’re smiling as much as I am while writing these~ ^w^)

[Sunset. This picture captures the feeling after a Shuka Live… Breath-taking, at a loss for words yet so much feeling/emotion running through your mind…]

~ DAY 2 ~

The Summer heat was high. I am early at Tobu Zoo this time because I don’t want to miss a single second of her Live. I won’t go into details of the fun before the performance but just so you know, it’s so awesome that our Live ticket already includes full access to the zoo and amusement park attractions! ^w^

Now…

It’s really hot and I kid you not. I was grateful for any natural wind and not natural wind that blew our way. When it was time to enter the space where the Live will be though, there was no natural wind there and my Aqours electric fan of course decided “I’ve worked hard for you for HOURS now. Time to rest…zzz…” [cue my shocked face XD] But it’s okay!! It’s like minutes to the start of Tenshi to Akuma no Sasayaki Day 2!!! I’ll just keep wiping this sweat and hydrating—

AHHH!! When the music changes to like a storm is brewing and SOMETHING IS COMING…!! And the band members come out!! I love them, by the way. We all love Shuka so we’re here but her band members just feel like family or super good friends already (to Shuka) so the feeling of cheering for them is sincere and excited~ >v<

And then, and then, there was this mash up of Shuka songs too…That one made me feel like if there was a montage playing too of Shuka’s growth, that’d be so cool too. But just hearing the songs mashed together like that… It evoked that feeling already and the scenes of MV to Shuka Live performances played in my mind too anyways—

HYAAAA!! From that, THE wedding-like music starts playing and, I think the backup dancers were already around and I was doing my best to absorb all that was happening. (Oh, also there were a bunch of tall guys so I had to tiptoe to see Shuka XD) But it’s all worth it when I saw Shuka in her Angel form which was this outfit like a wedding dress. Miyuki mind: CHOTTO MATTE EEEHHHHHHH?? KAWAIIIIIIIII!!! HOLD ON. WHAT, HOW, WHY, SHUKA?? >w<

I was smiling widely and fangirling hard inside XD And she starts singing Aishiteshimaeba. I love this song a lot too but because of being caught up in the moment…? I totally forgot Shuka’s Live performances are extra fun with the dance moves she came up for us to dance along with her XD So when this super enthusiastic fan beside me did the moves – I was like OH YEAH, THERE WAS THAT. WAHHH. And tried to mimic and dance along the best I could >v< I kept remembering how Shuka told us she wants us to not be shy and be cute for this song so I focused back on seeing her perform on stage and did my best for the moves where I can remember XD

PaPaPa is the next song. And this is one of her super hyped songs too. Understandable considering how fun it is and one of her early songs too! >v< So, as someone who usually play the blurays at home and cheer with my hands/light sticks, I forgot again that there’s like claps and other things the at-the-venue fans do XD I feel like I’m being too focused on this because of the enthusiastic and loud fan beside me but I’m not opposed to learning the fan moves in the first place! I especially like the Love Live! ones after all :P So well, I was trying to follow along…again… XD

P.S. It feels good to be praised by Shuka when you pull off the moves so it pays off? >w<

PiPiPi next!!! I loooooove this song a lot >v< Maybe it’s because I love old school things but the lyrics having “antenna” in it just makes me smile so much XD And and, it’s such a cute song?? And thus, I didn’t forget the dance moves for this one XD I can’t even explain how adorable Shuka looks throughout this song as she sings and dance it… I’m sorry for my lack of vocabulary for it… But just imagine that…that megawatt smile, glowing not just from the stage lighting but from the Sun and her angelic form?? That’s how it was from my POV… TvT

Here comes the new song from her 555 album! And yes, it’s PuPuPu!!! MEANING SHE JUST CHAINED THE PAPAPA-PIPIPI-PUPUPU SONGS!!! That’s such a cool thing to do, right!? *O* And I love this song from her new mini album!! It’s peppy, it’s fun, it’s cute, it tells a story of friendship when two argues and how they care about the other, and understands the other too, and how they make up and it’s all good again. >v<♡♡♡ I know I had the biggest, silly smile as I watched her sing this song, staying on my tippy toes to keep my eyes on her… mmm… Cute and wonderful. (I also clap hard after each song I think XD)

After that much hype, it’s MC time!

I found it cute how Shuka knew we’d want to do it?? So she gets us to congratulate her for her 5th Anniversary. And also to wish her happy birthday XD So she would say “Shuka-chan, congratulations on your debut 5th anniversary” and we’d echo “CONGRATULATIONS!!” and she goes, “Shuka-chan, happy birthday~” and we’d echo, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!” >w<

Shuka then mentions about wanting to go bbq together and we’d shout back things like “Let’s do it!” and another one even went, “Right after this??” XD

Shuka likes to know the fans that are around so she starts asking our age group! When she asked “Are there teens?”, the person behind screamed so loudly <v<; Me and the other guys in front visibly flinched from the loudness XD I think Shuka was looking to the other side so perhaps she was not affected by that screech! Then she goes, “Those in the twenties?” and I cheered! I chuckled a bit on the inside that those in their twenties did a very cordial cheer? It was properly loud but not annoying is how I remember it XD And then Shuka goes, “Those in the thirties?” There was quite a bunch too and I remember I accidentally pumped my fist up too XD I was like, Hold on, Miyuki. We still have a few years to that. XD And when she asked for the older age group and there were still replies Shuka was happy about that!! :D

[Shuka serenading us and playing instruments for us at the same time TwT She's so amazing, mouuuu, daisuki! >w<]

Shuka spoke more and then asked us to take a seat for now as she wants to serenade us >v</ I gladly sat down to hydrate myself but I was concerned if I could see Shuka when sitting down @v@ Thankfully? I could see her in between the heads of the tall people in front of me XD But it was slightly tough to make the head of hair become unfocused while I tried to make my eyes focus on Shuka only. It was a strange first minute or two while I watched Shuka play the harmonica and sing Himitsu Dogu. But gosh, I’ve wanted to experience this Live too and it’s wonderful each time!!!

Next, Shuka sings Kokoro from her 555 mini album. My eyes soften as I nod to the music and her singing voice, taking in each lyric into my heart. I really liked how everyone sat quietly and listened. And I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Shuka for even a second.

When the music started for Hanarenaide, I felt something from the tip of my toes to my fingers and the top of my head. I knew this song resonated with me from when I heard it back home, but Shuka singing it to you Live? While you’re sitting there, and she’s sitting up on the stage… It’s like the world just had me and her. I remember I could not help but groove to the song and her words and I simply wanted the words in my mind to reach her – zutto hanaremasen. zutto soba ni… (I’m never letting go. I’ll be by your side always.)

We clapped so hard when she finished singing. >o<♡♡♡

And while I was feeling things, Shuka goes off stage to get changed and the band gets their solo moments!! It’s suuuuper cool! *w*

Miss Devilish Shuka returns in her full devil form and I swear I still feel the same way as Day 1 – Excuse me, Shuka-san?? What are you wearing?? What are you doing to me?? XD That looks so sexy and pretty and devilish indeed!? XD

[The Devil owns my heart and takes good care of it!?]

Shuka is singing Baby Tell Me and it’s such a fun song too to be bouncing to while she have fun singing and running about the stage?? Oh, but she did not just run around the stage. This was where she was going to shoot us with water XD So she also ran all the way to the back and climbed a tower?? A high place XD And she sprayed a whole lot of water – from that far back, the water barely not reached me XD So I was like “Aww” >v< But it wasn’t over yet…!! She ran down and came all the way the sides too to spray us with water with her water hose-gun thing XD So yes – I was hit by the holy or maybe not so holy water since she’s on the Devil Portion of the Live now XD

It's one heck of an experience to see her up close!! It’s like, “Oh right, Shuka is that small. How is she so small but so amazing? Oh gosh, Shuka is right here…!!” kind of thoughts as she ran between the aisles to spray us with water! And then back to the stage!! >w<

After this hype marathon, there was some music box and thunder bgm which brought the mood back to “Oooh what’s next??” >v< And Shuka starts singing Tsuki de hoshi de Taiyo da! So I was jumping and hyping along to it! >w</ And when you’re hyping to it, suddenly it’s a little interval bgm thing again and she’s onto the next song Zenshin Zenrei…!!! *O* Waahhh!!

You’re Zenshin zenrei-ing one moment, and then bam, now it’s Ippai Attena!! XD It’s one hype song after another, I’m telling you!! All I remember now is being unable to stop smiling, to be bouncing on my tip toes to constantly get to see Shuka and cheering happily. (All while appreciating her moves and smile of course ;D) Bokura wa Genius is the final of the Hype Medley. This song was always super energetic for the full version too so definitely a wonderful finale of the medley hehe >w< Ugh, whenever she lowers her voice for a cool moment during the song…! >w< It’s so goooood >w</

Oohh, I like this next part – the BGM gets you pumped and Shuka asks you to do a few rounds of “S-H-U-K-AAAAA SHUKA!” cheers before her next song Darake!!! >w< I want to do that agaaain >w</ Shuka counts the number of times we cheer it with her fingers so we know how many to go too \*w*/

[Inner Miyuki reacting to Shuka counting down >v<]

And now we are onto the 4th song of her 555 mini album. I was trying to take note of where she planted each of her new songs too, and I loved how they were placed!! ^w^

PuPuPu alongside the other fun triple P songs >v<

Kokoro and Hanarenaide as a ‘sit down get serenaded’ segment

Darake as part of the Devilish hyped portion

And last would be Mikata >v<

But first, TOWEL SONG…!! ShuShuShu!! As mentioned in Day 1 report, I find towel songs extra entertaining and fun for us to participate in >w</ This time, I tried twirling the Tenshi to Akuma no Sasayaki towel… and I must say, it’s a bit heavy to spin XD But all in all, there was spinning, jumping and cheering \>w</

Sekai no hate is one of my favourite songs too. It’s so cool, empowering, and the MV is as gorgeous as Shuka! I remember hearing it for the anime and then the MV…Shuka’s brown eyes literally so bright and alluring! And I would think Shuka rocks any colour but she rocks her favourite colour red so, so well…!! u>v<u I digress. Shuka on stage performing Sekai no hate is charming and I was left staring and experiencing her performance. I didn’t even bother doing the cheers the dudes around were doing. It’s that feeling of…like, all you can see is Shuka, all you can hear is Shuka, and…it’s just an amazing feeling.

At the end of this song though, Shuka reached out her hand skywards and stayed in that pose for a long time, so it’s like she froze and the people around started wondering if she really froze XD Then she “unfroze” and head towards the backstage again for outfit change! I bet she was feeling the moment thus the elongated pause in pose. =w=♡

Piano version of Hero ni narikatta plays while we wait for Shuka to return. 😊And this is another one of my favourite songs from her. I especially love the acoustic version and so I was loving the instrumental as I get hydrated, waiting for what Shuka is going to bring next—

I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR MY TOP FAVOURITE SONG OF SHUKA’S TO BE PERFORMED NEXT.

THE SECOND THE FIRST BEAT DROPPED.

My eyes widened, my jaw fell agape morphing into a smile of disbelief and awe.

My processor was going into overdrive as I understood that Shuka was singing “Mou Muri Demo Hashiru”. I literally, unapologetically, and fervently tell whoever I can and Shuka that my favourite song of hers is this. It’s been an unspoken dream of mine to get to experience this song of hers Live. I’ve seen the MV, I’ve looped the song a gazillion times, I’ve watched her perform it in other Live performances via the Blurays, but…Live in person?? I wanted to get to taste this. And I am living it. The world does not even need a rebuilt or to “fall apart” again as I was still living in the space that felt like it was just Shuka and me as my eyes never strayed from her, when she pours her heart out in singing each syllable and verse which she would go lower to the stage’s floor, I’d just do my best to tip toe some more to see her, chasing after every poignant second of this performance. I lipsynced to it as the words were known by heart. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to properly convey my love for this song and how good Shuka’s Live performance of this was.

If you ever have the chance, please go to Shuka’s Live and experience her performance. It reaches your heart…

And while I’m still reeling from having a dream come to fruition unexpectedly… (Shuka is amazing that way, right?  (◕‿◕)♡) The next song Shuka performs is Kutsuhimo.

Gosh…It felt like coming full circle. Of course, I came to know Shuka from loving Watanabe You, but when I got into loving Shuka too, I supported her from her debut song too. And Kutsuhimo is like the string that ties us together. A strong bond that’s like…fate and like a pinky promise too. We put in the effort to continuously support one another. :)

[Shuka performance touches my soul and I have ascended (again)]

MC time! Both Shuka and I need that moment to hydrate and breathe again XD (By this point I think I already finished my sports drink and my 2 litres of water is probably down to 500ml or less OuO;)

I think Shuka liked to ask us if it’s hot / if we’re feeling hot, and we would go “It’s hot!!!” XD And while she’s drinking, someone asked if the water was delicious, she smiles/smirks and under her breath, she goes, “It’s not water” XD But doesn’t tell us what it is. Well, considering the hardcore setlist, you’d think it’s a sports drink at least XD

Shuka then asks us if we are enjoying the outdoor live which we of course tell her we’re enjoying it to the max. Then Shuka goes, “Tasukaru?” (“Does it save you?”) and we all laugh with her because this is like a youngin’ slang. Probably the Japanese Gen Z slang? XD Basically a thing to say when what you love is there. (Fun fact: Shuka did not understand this slang is either and learnt about it during Uraraji when the person who wrote in used this slang. And further understood it more the more people used it even during her InstaLive. >v<)

Shuka continues to talk about a bunch of stuff such as how she would think a lot into what song to perform for each Live, and to cherish every second there is with everyone… And that’s how quite the tough and crazy setlist got decided for this first ever outdoor Live too. She smiles sheepishly yet happily at this, and we laugh because we know it’s really a setlist jam-packed with energetic songs and Shuka really kept going song after song. But we love it >v<

Shuka also tells us about how she feels that with each Live performance she gets to do with us, with each challenge she overcomes from the various performances, she finds/hones a new weapon to be able to be stronger again >v< (EXP points gained and levelling up!!)

When she goes “The last song for today”, me and everyone around whines for more XD And we asked for extension XD but of course, it’s the last song for the day. And Shuka leads in with her these heartfelt words…

“For a final song…Right now, what I am feeling up to this point have been enveloped into this song and I hope to deliver it to you. You all are not alone, you have me. No matter how tough or sad things get, or when things seem out of reach, I will definitely be unwaveringly by your side. You can come over to me knowing it will be okay. Every day, every day, let’s keep supporting each other and walk together. So…please listen to this song – Mikata.”

Mikata to me, is another song of hers that is one where she bares her vulnerable side to us like she did in “Yoku warau riyuu”. Some lines that calls out to me are “I’m going to continue singing at the place where I am reflected in your eyes.”, “Even if feeling like a coward or feeling uncool. Put that aside, and take my hand.” and “I’ll tie my shoelaces again and start running once more.”

When Shuka sang the final line of Mikata, I like how there’s such a loud silence and then the band plays the instrumental of Mikata, like it just continues and then Shuka goes, “Thank you so much for coming over to play with me for the 5th Anniversary Live. Now, allow me to introduce the band…”

“I may not be a hero yet…but right now, I know that what I can say with confidence is that I’m your ally (mikata). And will always have your back.” Shuka… >o< To me, you ARE my hero. But I’m also just…so, so happy to have you as my ally. That’s for certain!! >o< ♡ (I also teared up at this part when Shuka talks about her journey of 5 years as a solo artist, how she wants to be our hero and don’t think she is yet… Shuka… OmO♡)

Shuka also asks if we will continue to see more sceneries with her. And I can tell you, my answer is a resounding yes. My new dream is to get to attend her FC event performance because I adore her acoustic singing and I want to get to experience that too.

So… With this feelings of adoration, admiration and endearment, I once again have set forth to reach that dream! >v<

Ah, I just realize I did not mention about how Shuka was in “real Shuka” mode AKA where she is in the Live T-Shirt and shorts and the way it got redesigned is so hawawa too O//w//O

If you asked me whether I like Angel Shuka, Devil Shuka or Real Shuka more… I don’t think I can really give an answer right away XD They are ALL so wonderful hehe~ >w< ♡

After Shuka introduced the backup dancers, Gyaruz, I think there was picture-taking moment… And then they go off backstage…and then Shuka asks for her phone cutely, “I want my phone~ My phone, please~” >v< Kawaii sugiru desho?? (Isn’t she too cute??) >w< And once she got it, she gets to record her usual video where we all cheer loudly and she asks the question which we go “SAIKO JAN!!!” >w<

…haaa… …

This 2 days of Shuka Live was simply awesome. I’ve got no words. XD I mean, I’ve said so much, I feel like there’s more to say but…it’s that…basking in the moment feels. The post-Live euphoria… You can’t wait for the next time you get to see Shuka but at the same time, you’re just…smiling and remembering the 4 hours you just had with her for this 2 days… =v= ♡

For me, the feeling of missing Shuka and Japan while feeling like I’m still there…lasts quite long XD It’s probably why I can still be gushing about Shuka’s Live even though it’s September already :P But I really wanted to get to share it??

Again, thank you for reading all the way here. I love Shuka!! Aaahhhh >w< ♡

Fangirling OuMiyuki signing out (≧◡≦) ♡

See you around! \(^ヮ^)/

[yuikomorii]

The day tumblr stans will stop being chronically online is the day I will finally like this fandom. Goofy aah people think their opinions matter?

Last year everyone adored Ayato on this platform but after a certain ahem cult ahem of people joined, I can sense they’re secretly having beef with Ayato and are sending mean anons to Ayato fans for some jealousy reason.

Granted he is not my personal best boy but he’s DiaLovers’ best boy for a fact and the hype he started getting is pretty much deserved. In a series of games that’s a bit dead, I’m glad he’s able to keep it relevant not only for the DiaLovers fans. Don’t mind delulus saying bad things about him, those only exist on this platform anyway and are just seeking for attention and approval from random strangers.

// Tbh, I’m disappointed but not surprised. Unfair and two-faced people are everywhere and if they truly spend their time in that manner, you can already see how miserable their lives must be.

I believe that the Ayato hate train began with Youngblood and picked up steam this year after the release of the Meow Meow vampire art. Many people made fun of Ayato's appearance and blamed him for FaVoRiTiSm , despite the fact that everyone in Japan adored him there. I don't know why, but the DL Tumblr fandom is completely out of touch with everything DL-related. They have no idea that Rejet simply creates Ayato content as a marketing ploy; in fact, Japanese fans are literally the ones who request it. In 2020, Ayato was stated as fans’ top choice and got invited as a co-star with a national idol at Nino-san, which was broadcasted on the second largest television corporation in Japan. If people hadn’t recommended him so much, he wouldn’t have ended up there… it’s not that hard to understand.

This has the same vibe as those kpop fans who always complain about how their ult group is underrated but don’t even stream their songs, instead they spend their time criticizing bigger groups for what??

I’m not forcing anyone to love Ayato but at least give me good reasons to dislike him. I understand not liking ALL Diaboys but isn’t it hilarious how some people would give you a litany of reasons why they can't stand Ayato, but when you look at their bias, he did the same (or worse) things as (than) Ayato? If you truly dislike those actions, at least pick a side, lol. I honestly don’t hate any Diaboy (though I don’t agree with their behavior all the time) but even if I did, I wouldn’t throw shade at that one character out of the blue only to piss of his stans.

And I swear, it's incredibly annoying how some people would tear Ayato down when asked about their favorite character/ship/route, etc., even though he has absolutely NOTHING to do with the question or he isn’t even the main topic of the question. Saying things like, "Yeah, I like this character because, unlike Ayato (just an example hehe)—" or "No hate towards Ayato but — *proceeds to mischaracterize and hate on him*" are examples of uncalled hate speech. Literally why use HIM most of the time as an example when talking about negative things?? At this point that’s not even a coincidence anymore, but a pattern, which is truly giving fan behavior.

Such people are really the worst. Reminds me of how some fans still think it’s okay commenting stuff like “This is great but I don’t like *inserts thing the OP obviously likes*” or “Not trying to be mean but *starts being mean*”. Respectfully, who even asked for your opinion? Mind your own business and learn basic etiquette.

[rappaccini]

.......... kingdom of the planet of the apes thoughts

noa

great new protagonist. excited to see how he evolves as a character. he's definitely The New Caesar, but his gentler personality is a welcome change.

damn somebody else CAN actually hit the andy serkis notes for playing an ape. props to this actor.

glad he isn't caesar's descendant and that his clan's totally apart from caesar's tribe. thank you for expanding the world instead of star warsing it. -- and for calling out the obsession with nostalgia via proximus.

his arc was great. questioning the state of things and wanting something better should hopefully spell good things for the development of the ape society in the reboots. more on that in a sec.

that or he's about to have one hell of a disillusionment arc.

these movies keep coming up with clever ways to distinguish their ape characters. the bald spot, green eyes and armband being his thing are his.

his tribe and their eagle culture is fascinating. the concept of apes using abandoned skyscrapers as towers for bird husbandry comes from a history channel documentary i remember watching as a kid and i love seeing it pop up here.

even the eagle song, which could've been so cheesy, works in context.

even his name is so well thought-out. noa as in noah, who guides people through a flood; which noa does at the climax. and noa as in 'no', the first word an ape spoke out loud in the first trilogy, which is paralleled when mae shouts his name- the first word a human speaks in the second trilogy.

.... anaya and soona were certainly there.

the soona romance felt out of nowhere. like oh ok so the one girl in the friend group is the future gf. we're doing that. fine.

and all that just so her designated bf can emotionally cheat on her with a human for two more movies. girl. get out of there now.

yes i think noa and mae had chemistry. pota is a franchise that simply does interspecies romance. a lot. you just have to roll with it if you're gonna be here.

i was wondering when that would make it to the movies again, and it seems like they're trying to see how much they can get away with.

like it's 100% intentional that they have young adults who aren't married and have no kids as the pro and deuteragonist in this trilogy. they know about the chemistry. they animated him checking her out like that on purpose. they made them co-leads for a reason. they did a parallel to the "NO" scene in rise with mae calling noa's name. they gave mae a beat of jealousy when she learned about him and soona. he's catching her on horseback and giving her a token of clothing from his clan. he's unable to choose between his childhood sweetheart and the girl he's been traveling with for weeks. there's a layer of innuendo in the climb to access the military silo that had me cackling.

they know what they're doing.

it's probably not gonna be a literal ship, more like a symbolic one. i don't want them to kiss or fuck or say i love you i want them to stare at each other, obsess over each other, debate the nature of humanity and sentience, touch foreheads, save each other, try to kill each other and die in each other's arms. they're gonna make their symbolic breakup everybody's problem.

general worldbuilding thoughts

maybe it's just that i've been getting back into fantasy but there's a very... familiar vibe to the rhythms of the story. a noble prince, a fat goofy monk and a belle dam sans merci setting off to fight an evil king. but it's apes!

damn we're really so desperate for gay rep that we're taking raka saying "he was my village" about a guy he was close to and running with it huh

(👀 at noa and mae encountering another unconventional couple. it just keeps stacking up.)

okay. then we have to talk about how the only possibly queer character is the guy who can't even admit that he's gay even though none of the characters should have a problem with it, who drowns halfway through the movie. and is played by the only person of color in the main cast. oh so i guess these apes aren't that different huh.

no this is such a gripe i have with pota reboot worldbuilding. the apes are starting a new civilization... and building it like humans. everyone's straight, even though bonobos are famously up for anything and even chimps, orangutans and gorillas have been known to get gay. apparently monogomous mates are a thing even though apes don't do that. all power is held by male characters, even though bonobos are matriarchal, orangutans wouldn't give a shit either way and female chimps may not lead their troops but they sure as shit don't hide at home with the babies. yeah okay ~they don't have to behave like their species~ but... isn't that a missed opportunity? if you're going to build a new society based on a species of animal, wouldn't it be more interesting to build it around how those animals behave? or at least do something different than the same system we have?

at least this reboot doesn't fridge any of the female characters. was sure noa's mom and soona were toast. still think they won't make it to the end of this trilogy but they got through part 1.

.... so are gibbons evolved too. i think raka mentioned gibbons. wtf would that be like. skinny little dudes with big voices. can we meet some.

mae

a great deuteragonist. another gripe i had about the caesar trilogy was how male-centric it was. no seriously i was sitting in the theater ten years ago watching dawn, thinking, those humans could've sent a team of women up to restart the dam and this whole mess could've been different because koba's specifically triggered by the presence of men. because men were the people abusing him. (and because bonobos follow the females in the group)

not a coincidence that when the apes adopt a human into their tribe, it's a little girl.

so kotpota having a female deuteragonist was very needed and even something as small as noa's mom being a leader figure was too. the bar's in hell. don't love soona being The Designated Girlfriend, and mae only interacting with guys though. please let her interact with women.

seeing kingdom actually use that angle, of apes being calmer and more accepting of women than men, and having mae exploit that with those puppy eyes? oh that was smart. even if they didn't realize they were writing it that way i'll take it.

another smart detail: the bunker being in the plains. humans were grassland apes. makes sense that would be where they'd continue to exist, and where the other species would avoid.

adding onto that: humans are good swimmers compared to other primates. wish more was done with that given how much of the story revolves around being near water. i'm just saying i wish we got a scene where mae casually swims across the river while raka and noa are like. trying to inch their way over a fallen tree or something. different apes are good at different things. let's see more of that.

anyway love the mae twist. love that she isn't an astronaut-- but is setting in motion events that will lead to their return. and that there are pockets of intelligent humans out there.

extremely funny that she keeps accumulating dirt and has the rattiest side braid. this girl simply does not bathe.

i am staring hard at the implications behind mae always wearing eagle clan blue after she accepts noa's mom's blanket. it's the blanket, then the shirt, then the poncho. hm.

i'm wondering if there are in fact cultures where humans and apes are living together peacefully. or if this is the story of how one is created.

regardless it looks like the conflict's going to shape up to be humans trying to reclaim earth and apes fighting to maintain their new lead. cool.

still annoying that even in the apocalypse women have tweezed eyebrows and hairless armpits. okay.

i'm so curious about mae. how much of her backstory was true and how much was a lie. her group being massacred was clearly true, but her mother being dead may not be. she's clearly isolated from the bunker civilization given that she isn't allowed inside, so is she just... alone. unable to go home again. do they think she's contaminated. is she going to be stuck outside alone in a hostile world for years until the next movie comes out. what's going on there.

anyway the foiling of her and noa is great. smart but naive rule-following son of the chief who's never had a hard day in his life, vs bitter manipulative grimy girl who grew up in constant fear. that's juicy. he can fix her! she can make him worse!

she's clearly not evil. she's just been through some shit. you can see the wheels turning in her head as she realizes raka and noa are genuinely kind, and where her fears about apes are coming from when she literally watches them hunt other humans for sport, had her group murdered by them last week and just narrowly escaped being killed by them. her paranoia and bitterness is actually justified. when she lies to noa, it's because she has good reason to fear him and her distrust of him is well-founded. when she blows up the dam to destroy the weapons inside the vault, it was the right move because proximus absolutely would have used them to enslave more apes. and when she conceals that she has the gun, i don't blame her. (also worth noting that she takes the smallest one in the locker and leaves the rest)

... love that she's the one who made the choice for noa about ~which girl will you choose to kill~. nah bitch. she's choosing YOU.

and she WAS honest to noa about what she wanted from the bunker. dude's not gonna get what a hard drive is, so "book that lets us speak" WAS accurate.

(... very clever of the movie to have noa and co pick up a book of abcs, aka, a book that teaches you how to translate letters into sounds, and see images of apes in cages. the misunderstanding makes sense: he thinks she was here for that. and symbolically, she kind of is.)

the mission she's on IS that serious. fuck yeah getting the satellites working so we can speak to other survivors is worth taking all those risks.

.... and fuck yeah it's gonna lead to some conflict. gonna be interesting to see what mae does when that breaks out.

if she's getting a redemption arc, i love it. if she's about to turn into a tragic villain, i love it.

she's the koba of this trilogy.

(... and since koba was gay as hell for caesar. you know that that means.)

proximus

great villain. great personality. great example of the apes getting in on serfdom and organized religion. he's got an immortan joe flavoring that's exciting.

i know i'm the only person who gives a shit about this but noa should absolutely have been a bonobo and proximus should've been a chimp. putting aside that we're really doing that Good Chimp Evil Bonobo shit again... the softboy from a pacifistic clan being a bonobo just makes more sense because bonobos are the peaceful apes. like yeah ~they don't have to be exactly like the species they're based on~ but when are we gonna get a good bonobo depiction. why is every bonobo an evil wannabe dictator.

and the violent caesar wannabe being a literal chimp and using that heritage to try to claim an inherent connection to the ape messiah feels like a missed opportunity.

especially when you consider that the bronze age apes are already starting to take after humans in their social structure: the apes, all on their own, just invented organized religion, monks, animal husbandry, kingdoms, patriarchy and raiding parties that capture and forcibly convert other tribes to make them into slave labor.

... odds are speciesism is next. it's already there with the humans. how long's it gonna take before they start insisting that certain apes can only serve certain roles in society. we already have it as a given that the chimp Must Be The Protagonist and the bonobo Must Be The Antagonist, that the always-male gorilla's the enforcer, and that the orangutan's always a chill smart guy. what happens if someone doesn't fit that caste system, or if the system fragments into tribes that don't mix species. probably not anything good.

... at what point are we gonna talk about how humans are apes too. it's not the 60s anymore, let's go into that.

or how we really needed to expand the 'proximus wants to be like humans and that's why he's bad' theme to 'any ape that becomes as evolved socially as humans will end up emulating human civilization in all its best and worst ways because humanity isn't the problem, power is'

i hope we still get there. the reboot spent an entire trilogy building up how human apes are and how apelike humans are; let's see the lines start to blur.

anyway frank gallagher being his human advisor was fun. proximus has a real king louie vibe that's funny and eerie.

did proximus and frank gallagher explore each others bodies

of course this fucker's obsessed with the roman empire.

.... still think there's a missed opportunity. like. think about it: proximus wants to be human and is obsessed with evolution and speeding ahead through it by any means necessary. and with bringing an intelligent female human to his court alive and mostly unharmed, and keeping her in a gilded cage. and his manservant's warning said human female captive that whatever the fuck proximus wants with her, it might be worse than death.

all i'm saying is, when proximus literally pulled a 'bathe her and bring her to me' and had her eating at his table as he was breathing down her neck right in front of the guy who has a crush on her who he's trying to break the spirit of, talking about speedrunning evolution and how superior he thinks humans are, preening about how he's made himself a kingdom, sneering about how interesting it is when humans and apes pair up, and. uh. the innuendo in him saying he wants to speed up evolution by forcing his way into an enclosed chamber that's important to mae that she desperately wants to keep him away from that she insists is only for humans (... which she will let a different ape into anyway later that night by clinging to noa as he... you know. gets her there. as they're soaking wet.)

look i was waiting for him to drop the bombshell that he's looking for a human queen and has decided that he wants mae.

you know what that implies.

i wish they'd gone there. it's not even new territory for this franchise!

it would've given mae a visceral reason to snap necks and blow shit up that the audience would understand a lot easier than amorphous ~mistrust of the apes~ -- you really needed a concrete example of what mae personally is afraid of, and this was the best opportunity to give her that while disrupting as little of the story as possible. it would've taken one line of dialogue and maybe one gesture from him to pull that off.

it hammers in that proximus really does want to repeat the worst aspects of human civilization. which contrasts him to noa, a chance to do things differently. the law is wrong, and whatnot. what's the point of starting over if you're going to do it all the same.

it gives proximus another level of menace. fast way to switch the audience's perception from 'he's a dick but he's fun to watch' to 'oh yeah this guy needs to die.'

and since you're clearly playing with interspecies relationships, you gotta establish that they're going to start happening. this would've been a good opportunity to say "yes, we're going there" and show the audience what a bad one would look like, so they can recognize that the good one is different.

predictions.

... ok so beneath the planet of the apes is next, right? and then conquest to close out the middle chapter trilogy?

my wild guess is they'll focus on mae and her bunker people to contrast noa and his clan, and they'll have a female human antagonist to balance out the male bonobo. possibly dichen lachman's character.

maybe they'll drop a male human love interest in for mae to balance things out. another layer of plausible deniability. also it would be extremely funny if he and soona met and were like 'wait a damn minute'

… if they’re really doing a beauty and the beast, what if he’s the gaston figure

and to really drive the foils home, this time noa's gonna have trust issues and instigate the shady fuckup that results in the climax.

and then in the third, there'll be another war that the apes, in some form, will win. and noa and mae will either be trying to prevent it or leading their factions into a death spiral. fun either way.

they won't ever Go There with them being a couple. like no way would they have the balls to do it, and soona being the out-of-nowhere gf for noa pretty much confirms it. unless she's fridged. (man i hope she dumps him)

but their dynamic's got that vibe for a reason. i wouldn't be shocked if they ride that ambiguity through the trilogy and then have their historical interpretations in poto 7-9 be assumed to have been a couple, the same way caesar's been reinterpreted-- either the story of a human-ape relationship that made it possible for their species to live together, or a cautionary tale about Why We Do Not Mix. or springing some indication that the first human-ape hybrid came from them after the credits roll on the third movie, assuming they survive it. which i doubt.

part of me really fucking wonders if the twist for this reboot's going to be that apes and humans DO find a way to live together and noa and mae do succeed at getting their respective factions to live together. maybe it will be some romeo and juliet/uniting the tribes through symbolic marriage shit. feels like the fullest encapsulation of the do-things-differently theme they're playing with in kotpota.

or maybe they'll kill each other. which would also be fun but in a tragedy rubberneck way.

either way i'm excited. i missed these movies!

[mephinomaly]

[TL] PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 11

[ This post uses Ois~su ♪ ]

Rei: ~...♪

Adonis: Oh, where did you get that guitar from Sakuma-senpai?

Rei: From Bouzu’s temple. I remembered I left a coupla instruments at his place so went to go get ‘em.

Koga: What are you two, a couple that just broke up?

Rei: That’s what it feels like. Even if we come together ‘n try to get on, I don’t think we’ll be able t’return to how we were before.

Even if he wants to, it’s not gonna happen.

That’s why I feel like meetin’ new people ♪

♪～♪～♪

Adonis: Wow…What a good song. Though the melody is rather intense, I feel weirdly better listening to it.

Amazing, Oogami, and you composed it yourself?

Koga: Oh, uh, yeah… But it only sounds good ‘cos of the person playin’ it… Since it’s Sakuma-senpai, he makes it sound like the best song ever.

Rei: Oooo you’re makin’ me shyyy. Oh to be young and naive~. Wish I could feel like that again~

I wished for that and now Wan-chan has named us UNDEAD.

Like Adonis-kun did, he somehow noticed I was depressed, even though I didn’t… I hope I can be revived.

This music might make me cry… I hope this revives my tired, withered heart.

I’ve been cravin' something this whole time.

And now I feel weirdly content.

This is what I wanted most, more than being showered in millions of compliments.

These are someone’s genuine thoughts.

♪～♪～♪

Kaoru: Hey~, you guys look cheery, hm~?

Rei: Yo, Hakaze-kun. Fashionably late, yeah?

Was worried you weren’t gonna show.

Kaoru: Hey, well, I’m here now… I requested that you guys exterminate the “vampires” so it’s my duty to supervise you all so you don’t slack off.

But I never thought I’d be joining a weird group like this.

Rei: You’re a Yumenosaki idol in the making aren’t you? We need your talent

Kaoru: Don’t expect too much from me, ‘kay? I’m pretty well known for skipping school.

But I’ll help out this time. I need to protect my job, so I’ve gotta work a little harder. It’s so bothersome I could die though~♪

So that’s why I made some promotional flyers for tomorrow’s showdown.

It won’t be hard to hand them out for Mr Worldwide Sakuma-san, so you guys make sure you pull your weight too, ‘kay?

I prepared a fancy stage for you guys. Well, I say it was me, but all the nearby shops who also were troubled by the “vampires” were helping me out too.

I was going to make some special uniforms for you too, but I don’t know you guys’ measurements, and I don’t think I would have had enough time to sew them anyway.

Rei: Don’t worry ‘bout it.

Our opponents won’t have made any special preparations, so I think it’s fine to wear our school uniforms rather than dress up all crazy like.

It’s fairer if we’re on a similar playing field.

Koga: Hm… So you wasn’t late ‘cos you didn’t wanna come, you was late ‘cos you were makin’ preparations?

Guess I was wrong about you, Hakaze…senpai. You get the job done eventually.

Kaoru: Yup! I’m a reliable guy, really really ♪

Koga: Yeah. You seem useless on the surface but you’re actually pretty hardworkin’.

Adonis: Umu. He is very helpful, since he completed the tasks we had not got around to yet.

Kaoru: But I don’t feel like enough has been done, if I’m honest. I’ve fixed up the stage, but isn’t there more we could be doing?

The “vampire” showdown is tomorrow, right? Yet we're going on stage without having rehearsed?

Rei: That’s why we’re here so we can practise. Our unit’s only just been formed, and we’ve barely met each other.

Adonis: It’s more of a reorganisation of members rather than meeting for the first time.

Rei: Ahaha. Adonis-kun, who is the most unfamiliar with Japanese, is the most particular about what words he uses.

Adonis: Words are important.

Rei: Yuup. In this country, there’s the belief that reality is affected by the spoken word. My good friend that passed away a bit ago said that—

Koga: Hasumi-senpai said that, and he’s not dead…

Even though it was his decision t’work behind the scenes, he worked harder than us. And we didn’t even ask him to but he convinced his parents ‘n shit to let us use this place t’practise.

Kaoru: He didn’t need to though. We could have practised at the livehouse.

Rei: Ah well. The weather’s nice ‘n isn’t singin’ in the sun super relaxin'?

Since we’re fightin’ vampires, we’ve gotta get familiar with their weakness so we can use it to our advantage.

♪～♪～♪

Kaoru: Is, is this really okay~? You’re talking about this like we’re in a business meeting, but is it guaranteed that we’ll be able to get rid of those guys?

Rei: Hey, even I can’t predict the future.

But I do think I’m goin’ a little crazy. Feels like someone’s inside me, going “indeed, you’re quite right” in an old man's voice.

Kaoru: Someone inside you? What? Are you drunk?

Adonis: I asked him that earlier.

Rei: I’m 100% sober. We couldn’t defeat the delinquents if I was pissed, and that’s also illegal, so.

Without stooping to their level, we will become the sun and burn the corruption that has infested the earth.

Trust me. I’m feelin’ weirdly good, so I’ll be tryin’ my hardest tomorrow.

Can’t promise after that, but I promise tomorrow.

♪～♪～♪

[ ☆ ]

Chapter 10

Chapter 12

[sunjaesol]

Love is Blind x Juke

For the past two days @thedeathdeelers and I have spiralled into a Love Is Blind x Juke fanfic in the dm's and this is what came out of it. So, a co-written Imène and Ophelia special for Juke Jeudi. Ta-da!

///

“Hi,” a voice called out from the other side of the Pod. This was it. The start of this mess. 

Luke perked up. "Uh, hey, I'm Luke."

"I'm Julie." A pause. Then a laugh. "This is really weird, huh?"

Luke laughed as well, the tension of the last twenty-four hours slipping away. One second he was drunk in his apartment with his buddies on the Netflix website, the second he was on a flight to San Diego for a freaking reality dating show. Or rather: a marriage show. Insane. But whatever. It wasn't like he was actually going to find someone. He was just gonna lay low, write some songs, and then dip after ten days.

"So, Julie, what made you sign up for this thing?" he asked, draping himself across the couch. A cup of rum and coke dangled in his hand.

"Um… I guess I wanted to do something I'd never do. I'm always waiting for love, you know, instead of… just going for it. So here I am. What about you?" Her voice was pretty, slightly raspy, yet melodic, and he felt himself listening to her intently.

"I'm here to write songs," he replied, blunt.

She laughed. "What?"

"Yep."

"You're here… for songs?"

"Don't take this the wrong way," he said, "but this is like a retreat for me."

"Well, that's excellent, actually," she replied, smooth. "Because I happen to be a songwriter."

***

Julie went into her second date after an hour long conversation about music and their favourite bands with Luke. She felt giddy, but knew a first impression didn’t mean anything in an experiment like this. Sitting down, she called out: "Hello?"

"Hi, I'm Nick," a male voice said.

Julie smiled. "I'm Julie."

"Julie," he repeated, and she heard the scribbling of paper. "So, tell me about yourself, Julie."

"Um… what do you wanna know?"

"Where are you from?" he asked. 

Easy enough. "I’m from Los Feliz."

"No way!" He laughed. "Me too!"

Her brows raised. "Really? Where did you go to school?"

"LF Public High."

"Ah," she sighed, "I went to the arts school. It would be crazy if we've met each other before."

"Or maybe it's fate," he teased.

An amused smile twitched on her lips. Guys that flirted with the word ‘fate’ to wrap a girl around their finger; she’s met those before. "Yeah, who knows."

***

After three full days of jamming and creating music with Luke, somehow able to connect on such an intense level with a shimmery wall between them, they found themselves in amiable silence. It wasn’t awkward, somehow. The song they worked on had been rather emotional, about family and history and regret. It brought back memories she hadn’t dared to discuss in the Pods. But now… 

“Not to like, um,” she licked her lips, “dump all my trauma, but—”

“It’s okay,” he whispered.

“My mom, uh, died… two years ago.” Julie took a steadying breath, though let the tears roll as they came. He didn’t see her. She could cry. “She’d been sick for a while—terminal cancer—so we were prepared, but… nothing actually prepares you for it.” She heard him hum, encouraging her to continue. “And that’s why I applied for the show. The day she died, I felt like I died with her. I’ve just been on auto-pilot. So, ‘Love Is Blind’ was honestly this, like, desperate attempt to feel again, but I didn’t think I’d actually marry someone. I just wanted to break free of this dead feeling… if that makes sense.”

After a beat of silence, Luke said, “It does. Trust me, it does. I’m sorry, Jules, for your loss. That’s the worst thing that could ever happen, I–” A curt laugh left him. “I wish I could hug you right now, fuck.”

“It’s okay,” she sniffled.

“You’re probably the strongest person I know, not gonna lie,” he continued. “Trying to keep living after that… you should be so proud, Jules.”

Julie’s lip wobbled as she sank to the carpeted ground and shuffled to the shimmery wall, pressing one hand against it. She hadn’t had a sip of alcohol today—even though the producers wanted her to—so she knew all she felt was pure.

“I am proud,” she agreed. “Only a crazy alive person locks themselves in a Pod for seventeen hours a day.”

A laugh barked out of him. Jumping off the couch, he sat cross-legged in front of the shimmery wall. His heart hammered a nervous beat. “I, uh, relate, to be honest, to, like, mom stuff.”

“Oh?”

“My mom hasn’t died, fortunately, but… when I was seventeen, we got in a really big fight. Like, we said some nasty stuff to each other. I ran away. I didn’t speak to them for six years.” He shook his head. “And I know it’s not the same. Trust me, I know. I left by choice. But it felt like the death of my bond with them. I felt like I was dead to my parents. They never tried looking for me. Maybe because they knew where I was, but… they never tried reaching out. Until I did it at twenty-three.”

Julie sighed, “I’m so sorry, Luke.”

“It caused me to produce some fire songs, but… I don’t know if it was worth it.” He chuckled, tears rolling down his cheeks in surprise. “I don’t think I ever told someone that before.”

Julie smiled. “I’ll keep it a secret. Thank you for sharing that with me, Luke.”

“No problem,” he tried to sound nonchalant, but to him, it came off infinitely grateful.

“How’s your relationship with them now?” she asked.

“It’s… it’s alright. It’s not perfect in the slightest, but, you know, I come around for dinner or lunch at least once a month, I keep them in the loop, they keep me in the loop, they’ve attended one of my concerts…” He trailed off. “We’ve come a long way.”

“That’s great to hear,” she smiled. “Family is so important to me, so I would’ve felt so bad if I wouldn’t be able to—” She paused, warmth spreading in her body and face.

Luke frowned. “What?”

“If, um, if I wouldn’t be able to, um, meet them,” she uttered awkwardly. They had come to the silent agreement that they wouldn’t marry and simply be each other’s confidante for the ten days in the Pods. Julie has never felt like this before though. She felt… she was in love. Which was crazy, but how else could she explain the feeling in her gut?

A smile grew on Luke’s face. “You wanna meet them?”

“Don’t goad me like that!”

Luke laughed. “I’m not! I’m not! It’s… it’s cute, Julie, that you wanna meet them. Y’know, I wanna meet your dad, too. He sounds cool.”

Julie smiled. Her heart felt like bursting. “He is.”

***

The next day, Julie stood in the kitchen of the women’s quarters stirring a carrot and bell pepper soup on the stove. Luke’s favourite. If they ever were to meet in real life, she’d introduce him to other, way better, soups, but this would do for now.

Suddenly, Carrie—another contestant—appeared beside her. “You’re talking with Luke, right?” Carrie asked. 

Julie looked up. “Yeah, why?”

“Well,” she shrugged, haughty, “he's my number one, so.”

Julie frowned. Luke’s her number one? Since when? She had never heard Carrie speak about him. Did something happen in the Pods that she wasn’t aware of? “I thought Nick was your number one.”

The woman rolled her eyes. “Nick is so passive. I like Luke a lot more. I mean, musicians are hot, right?”

Carrie was baiting her, Julie realised, replying with a weak: “I… I guess…”

“Yeah,” Carrie affirmed, “so he’s my number one. I heard he’s yours, too.” The blonde tried to pull off an air of nonchalance as she inspected her perfectly manicured nails, but Julie didn’t bother with an answer and chose to add a pinch more paprika to the soup instead. She smiled; yeah, he’d like that.

Aggrieved Julie didn’t respond, Carrie continued: “So, why are you making soup?”

Julie threw a disbelieving look at Carrie. “It’s for Luke. For his birthday?”

Carrie, who had already lost interest in the conversation, suddenly whipped her head back towards Julie, hair flicking with the motion. “It’s his birthday? When? Since when?”

Julie rolled her eyes at the girl, and shook her head. Deciding to make a dig, she said: “I thought he was your number 1?”

Carrie frowned and pointed at the pot. “Can I give him some, too?”

"No,” Julie puffed, in disbelief that the woman even dared to ask her that. “That's honestly weird for you to ask, Carrie. It’s disingenuous."

"Okay, whatever," she grumbled and skulked away to talk to Kayla.

***

"So... I talked to Carrie..." Julie brought up after Luke had accepted and had taken a swig of her homemade soup. It had to be their sixth date at this point, but it has felt like forever. 

The man looked up from his guitar in confusion, wracking his brain for the last time he spoke to Carrie. "Okay?"

"She said you're her number one."

His frown deepened. "What? Really? We've spoken maybe twice."

"Oh." A relieved laugh left Julie. "Oh, wow. Then she's super jealous, or something." Her cheeks felt warm. "I was a little worried for a second, to be honest."

Luke grinned. "Yeah?"

"Mh-hm..."

"Y'know, I was worried about Nick," he confessed.

That surprised her. "Really? Why?"

"‘Cause I know you did have a connection with him."

"Yeah," she admitted, "but not in the way that we connect. Nick's like... a friend. That's all."

"Then you should tell him that," Luke said, amused. "'Cause he thinks you guys are fated."

Julie rolled her eyes. "Oh, jeez."

***

It was his favourite time of the day—sprawled across the sofa, snacks littering the floor—as he scratched out a chorus to Sunset Curve’s new song.

But that’s not why it was his favourite.

It was his favourite because he could just about hear Julie scribbling in her own journal right across that damn shimmery wall separating them, almost picturing frown lines between her brows. Which was weird, ‘cause he had never actually seen her.

It was weird, right?

But that didn’t stop him. Luke felt a silly grin taking over his features as he hummed along what he imagined would be the pre-chorus, leg swinging over the armrest—

And then he froze, stopping all movement.

Because he could be hallucinating, but he swore he just heard singing coming from the other room. The one that contained Julie. The human wrecking ball that had already captivated him before he had ever seen her.

Or heard her, apparently.

Holy shit. Holy shit. 

Luke nearly fell off the couch as he stumbled into a sitting position, jumping from his spot to the shimmery wall. He splayed his fingers as he pressed his palms against the damn thing keeping them apart, and then placed his ear against it.

He stopped moving; stopped breathing. She was singing. And it was fucking beautiful.

Shit. He was fucked.

He remembered Julie telling him about her complicated relationship with music; how she hadn’t sang in over a year. But now she was singing, here, with him, and he was finding it so hard to keep himself in check. He could clearly hear Alex’ voice in his head telling him to ‘cool it, Patterson. You’re going to scare her off.’

And that was the last thing he wanted to do.

Afterwards, Luke barged into the men's quarters and yelled: “I'm marrying Julie!”

Dean barely looked up from his paperback. “Yeah, we know.”

"You haven't talked about anyone else," Seth added.

"Oh," Luke said, scratching the back of his head. "Well, yeah. Now I'm gonna do it."

"Cool, man," Garrett grinned. "Get that woman!"

***

On the tenth day, Julie wore her prettiest dress. A purple number, nothing too special, as she hadn’t actually thought to get married on this show. The other women had ornate dresses, but she’d have to do with this one. 

Then again, she wasn’t actually sure Luke would propose. He told her he loved her, but that didn’t mean he wanted to marry her in a month; that didn’t mean he wanted to go through with the experiment; the reality show. 

Opening the door to the Pod, she heard Luke already pacing on his side. 

“Hi,” she said.

“Oh!” he exclaimed. “Hey!”

She paused at the wall. “You’re nervous?”

“It’s the tenth day, so, uh…” Luke shook his head and stared at the silly velvet box in his hands. This was ridiculous. Insane. Every other synonym for that word. He wasn’t marriage material. He was a guy from an underground rock band that came here to get inspired and write. But here he fucking was.  

“I don’t wanna say we’re fated, ‘cause I don’t believe in that shit,” he suddenly continued, the words flowing out of him. 

Julie smiled. “Me neither.”

“But I do—I do think you’re my person, Julie. That we should be together outside of the Pods. When we make music it’s like–like–”

“Magic,” she finished, her smile widening and her hands pressing against the wall. 

“Yeah,” he breathed. Sinking onto both knees, he kept his eyes on the box. “We’re magic together, I think. And I love you. I know that. I love you.”

Julie let her forehead drop against the wall as she giggled. Nothing about this made sense. No one would be able to understand what she felt right now. “I love you, too.”

“So… Julietta Rose Victoria Marie Molina…” He took a steadying breath. Now or never. “Will you do me the honour of marrying me?”

An elated sob left the woman, nodding profusely despite him being unable to see her. “Yes!” she exclaimed. “Yes!”

***

The white doors slid open in a swoop and their identities were revealed. Luke took a step forward and found his jaw falling slack at the short woman several feet away from him. She… was perfect. Down to those cute, scribbled-on sneakers.

Julie laughed, showcasing a gap between her teeth, and waved at him. "Hi."

"Hey," he grinned, his walk turning into a jog—he had to get to her—and grabbed her into a hug. "Holy shit."

"I know," she laughed, latching onto him. "Neither of us had a proposal outfit packed."

"Julie–Jules, you–" Pulling away slightly, he felt moisture building in his eyes from the shock and tension. His hands cupped her cheeks. "You're–wow."

"Thanks," she giggled, her eyes also wet. "You're wow, too."

***

After the couples arrived in the resort in Mexico, Julie and Luke settled into their suite. They unpacked their suitcases as they chatted about their flight, rosy-cheeked and happy. The camera flipped to Julie in the confessional, seated on the terrace in a pretty blue dress.

"Luke and I have arrived in Mexico," Julie said. "And it's definitely weird, suddenly, like, being able to touch him and see him, but it also feels so natural. We're just really excited to continue growing what we have and make more music."

"Julie's gonna do the speaking for me this vacay," Luke added next in his confessional, a big smile stretched across his cheeks. "I'm twenty-nine, guys, I've forgotten 10th grade Spanish, y'know."

“Yes, we’ve kissed,” Julie continued, shy, “on the plane. We wanted to do it away from the cameras, and um… it was–it was good.” Her eyes averted as her smile grew. “It was really good.”

Luke plopped down on the bed. “What do you wanna do first? Check out the pool? The beach?”

“The buffet,” she emphasised. “I’m super hungry.”

He laughed. “Sounds good to me.”

Julie slid beside him. “I also wanted to talk to you about something, now that we’re here…”

Luke nodded. “Okay.”

“Um… so we’re now sharing a bed…”

“Yeah.”

“I’d like to wait until after the wedding before we have sex,” she admitted. His face gave nothing away, simply listening to her. “It’s not that I’m not attracted to you, I am, but it’s something I want to honour, you know?”

“Of course,” he whispered. “I can wait, Julie, don’t worry about it.”

“Yeah?”

“Sex isn’t that important to me,” he said with a shrug. “It’s great, but it’s not everything.”

“Duh,” she deadpanned. “Music is.”

He laughed. “Exactly, you get it.”

The woman let out a relieved breath. She didn’t think Luke would be appalled, but she hadn’t been totally sure. Now, she could sleep beside him without the stress. Kissing his cheek, she said, “Besides, we can do other stuff.”

He wiggled his brows, mischievous. “‘Other’ stuff?”

With a roll of the eye, she pushed him away and got up. “Let’s get food.”

“Yes, Boss!”

***

The next day in Mexico, all the couples met up at the pool. It was the first time they all could see each other and properly meet. Neither Julie or Luke were worried their affection would sway, but they were nervous to approach Carrie and Nick. Both had claimed a connection, but now they were a couple themselves.

It especially bothered Luke, if he was honest. Julie was… incredibly beautiful, especially in that purple dress she wore tonight, and he wasn’t blind to the eyes Nick had been giving her. 

Afterwards, Julie and Luke sat on the bed curled towards each other, discussing the events of the night.

"So... what did you think of Nick?" Luke asked, feigning nonchalance.

Julie smirked at his obvious attempt to seem cool. "He was… nice."

"Yeah? Got a crush on him?"

"Sure," Julie deadpanned, "and that was why the conversation ended after, like, two minutes, and I stayed by your side for the rest of the night."

Luke grinned and placed a hand on her knee. "Yeah?"

"Mh-hm." She caressed his tattooed arm. "Don’t worry. I... there's not a shadow of doubt it's you, Luke. Trust me."

Luke's smile melted into fondness. "I trust you."

***

After Mexico—where one of the couples devolved and split up, leaving four couples left—they all returned to Los Angeles. Unfortunately, they couldn’t move back into their regular apartments, but all had to share the same complex. Julie and Luke lived on the third floor in a shiny, white apartment. It was the furthest thing from Luke’s actual place.  

On a positive note, they could finally introduce their partner to their friends and family. Like now. 

"Today, I'm meeting Luke's friends and band members," Julie said to the camera, standing outside of Luke’s studio in the heart of Mar Vista. "I've talked with them on the phone a couple days ago, but this'll be the first time we'll be face to face."

Luke drifted on his heels as he barely looked at the camera, clearly addressing Julie. "I'm not worried. Julie's, like, the puzzle piece we've been missing. And I fucking love her. So. Yeah."

Julie and Luke walked in where Reggie and Alex were already seated in an old, leather couch. Reggie seemed nonchalant, but Alex often flitted his eyes to the camera.

"Hi," Julie greeted. "I'm Julie!"

"Ooh," Reggie cooed. "You're even prettier IRL!"

Alex eyed her in disbelief. "Yeah. Blink twice if you wanna escape our Luke."

"Awesome support, guys," Luke grumbled.

Julie worried that the boys perhaps thought that what she and Luke had was too good to be true—that it wouldn’t last—and all it would do was interrupt their music career. She didn’t stop worrying until Alex gently pulled her away from the guys mid-practice session, and took her on a short walk around the garden.

Somehow, he knew exactly what was on her mind—and exactly what to tell her.

“Luke’s a pretty open book with just about everyone, or that’s what people think. He likes to show everyone all the good sides to him; the music, the cheerful attitude, the constant pep-talks. But he’s never, and I mean never, talked to anyone about his mom as openly as he did with you.” Alex stopped to turn and face Julie. “He’s always worried about dumping all his problems on others and it’s been his thing ever since we’ve known him. He just hides it all to himself, until he explodes and writes a song about it.”

He shrugged, though Julie could see the worry in Alex’ eyes. “But the fact that he shared some of that stuff with you, let you hear ‘Unsaid Emily’… Julie, you’re it for him. And if you’re it for Luke, you’re it for us.” Alex grimaced at his choice of words, but didn’t correct himself, choosing instead to smile encouragingly at Julie.

A moved Julie nodded in relief and pulled the drummer into a tight hug. “Thank you,” she whispered. 

That evening, it was time for Luke to meet Julie’s family, namely: her father, brother and aunt Victoria. The rest of the family would attend the wedding. Which, according to Julie, was ‘a lot’. She’d prepped him for tonight, but she still seemed nervous as she rang the bell and waited for the door to open. 

“What’s the prob?” he asked. 

“Well—”

The door flung open and an older woman in athleisure squealed at the sight of Luke. “Lukas! Come in, come in! Oh, mija, you did such a good job picking him!”

“Tia—”

“My name is Luke, actually—”

Victoria continued unperturbed and ushered them inside. He barely had time to soak in the interior as she continued babbling on. "Thank you, Lukas—" Victoria gushed.

"It's Luke—"

"—for taking my Julie off the street. Twenty-seven! Who would've thought!"

"Ah, yes," Julie drawled beside him, slightly peeved. "The old crone's age of twenty-seven."

“I think she was the one who took me off the street,” he said, throwing a smirk Julie’s way to ease the nerves a bit.

Her father and brother popped in from the kitchen, the former with a wide smile and the latter rather sceptical. “Is that my daughter’s fiancé I hear?”

***

"Luke is meeting my best friend, Flynn, today," Julie said outside of a bar. "I'm a little nervous, because Flynn is super protective of me, but I think it'll be fine!"

Luke smirked. "People love me. Everything will be great!"

That was, until Flynn said a quick hello and then shoved a ten-page questionnaire in his face. She smirked. “Just to see you’re not a serial killer and won’t break my friend’s heart.”

“Because those two are mutually important,” Julie replied, sarcastic. 

Luke scratched the back of his head as he thumbed through the pages. “I–I have to do this now?”

“Why? Scared?” Flynn pressed. “Also—” She whipped a cotton swab from her pocket and grabbed Luke’s face, pushing his mouth open. "Just the usual," she muttered and swabbed the inside of his cheek. "Just normal DNA things…”

After the horrible bar situation, Julie paced along the kitchen island continuously apologising for her friend’s behaviour. “I swear she’s usually not like this, I’m so embarrassed, like she’s protective, but not—”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Luke grabbed her shoulders to stop her from pacing with a relaxed smile. “Yeah, it was weird, but it wasn’t the end of the word.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He smiled. “You have a Flynn, I have a Reggie and Alex," he soothed. "It's all cool."

***

As Carrie and Nick argued for the umpteenth time at the Cheese Tasting Date, Luke and Julie were bent over Luke's songbook, scribbling and discussing the bridge of a song.

"No, no, there should be an inverse and then, like, the reveal, that he was never there at all," Julie said.

"I don't wanna write a sad song, Jules. It's a love song," Luke bounced back.

"I mean—" She popped a piece of brie in her mouth. "---it is a love song, just not a happy one."

A grin ticked up his lips. "Is it about Nick and Carrie?"

Julie swatted his arm. "Luke!"

"What! C'mon, Jules, look at 'em." He nodded at the pair currently shouting at each other outside, two cameras on them. "They're not exactly soulmates."

Another pairing, Vivian and Dean, joined them at their table. "Oh my God," Vivian said, "can Carrie and Nick just end it already?"

"Carrie wants those followers, she can't leave just yet," Dean added with a roll of the eyes.

"Yeah," Julie trailed, "it's... a lot."

"What're you working on, dude?" Dean asked.

Luke grinned. "A song, obviously."

Viv sighed dreamily. "It's so romantic, honestly, that you guys have, like, a 'thing'."

Dean frowned. "We have a thing."

His fiancée's brows raised, challenged, and Luke and Julie recoiled into their songwriting shell again.

***

The wedding was a no-brainer. After a teary-eyed dress fitting and a fun bachelorette party with the girls—where Carrie tried to disrupt her happiness one final time—Julie found herself in the hotel room of a beautiful ranch where she and Luke would officiate their marriage. Somehow, the month felt like a year and her relationship with Luke felt like a decade. 

“Are you nervous?” Flynn asked, buttoning Julie into her dress. 

She shook her head. “No, just healthy jitters.”

“Good.” The two stared at each other in the mirror. “You deserve this, girl.”

Victoria came in with glasses of champagne. “Well, I’m nervous, so drink up, my loves.”

On the other side of the hotel, Luke, Alex and Reggie sat in the plush chairs, ready for the wedding. Luke’s foot bounced up and down in anticipation, ready to hold her and kiss her and be hers. He knew he was a romantic, but he never thought it could get this deep. 

“Do you think she’ll say yes?” Alex asked. 

Luke nodded. “Yeah. There’s honestly not a doubt in my mind, dude.”

“But what if she does?”

“Then…” Luke took a swig of his beer as a salute. “Then we’ll have a killer album in no time.”

Soon after, the ceremony began. Luke first went down the aisle where he smiled and nodded at all his friends and family. His parents sat in the front and smiled proudly at him. 

And then came Julie. Julie, in a beautiful gown and a shimmering face, taking his breath away. It felt like he had tunnel vision. She, too, couldn’t look anywhere but him, and felt her racing heart calm down the second he helped her up the steps. Her father had tears in his eyes as he gave her away. 

“Hi,” she whispered. 

“Hey,” he whispered back, smiling, “you look gorgeous.”

“Thank you.”

The officiator began his speech, Luke and Julie exchanged quick vows—though most has been said in the countless lyrics they’ve written together—and they sealed it all with a kiss. They were married. Forever. 

For the final time, Julie spoke to the camera with shiny cheeks and sparkling eyes. “How do I feel? I mean, I think you can guess.”

Luke jumped into frame and picked her up, bridal-style. “You’re looking at Miss Julie Molina-Patterson, Netflix! Hell yeah!”

***

At the reunion, they were the only couple left standing. Obviously.

***

[turtleations]

Interview with SEIJI KIMURA (Ex-Zeppet Store vocals and guitar, currently active with solo-unit hurdy gurdy)

Published in the hide BIBLE (by Akemi Oshima) 2008

Note: Just like with INA's interview, I am keeping the honorifics on all names as Kimura used them (i.e. hide is referred to as hide-san throughout the interview).

Note 2: As with the two previous long interviews, this is very, very close to an actual translation. Many of the things I give you here are Kimura’s exact words, just moved from first to third person. The prompts and questions of the interviewer are actual translations.

Note 3: On the name "Seiji Kumura": Usually, when written in roman letters, I found the name transcribed as "Seizi Kimura". I am using "Seiji" because this is was the book uses. I also have it in the title in the order given name - family name, even though on all other interviews I keep the Japanese order of names, because, again, this is what the book does.

Note 4: The desciption in the title is from 2008. Zeppet Store did in fact reunite in 2011.

Kimura-san, after hide-san passed away, you were asked to speak in various places, weren’t you?

Immediately after hide-san’s death, Kimura wasn’t in a situation to talk about anything. He was doing a live radio-broadcast at the time, and about three days after the funeral, there was a broadcast from a satellite studio in Sendai. Numerous listeners gathered there at that time because everyone wanted to hear about hide-san, and it was very hard to speak in all that.

This is going back in time, but when how did you first meet hide-san?

A year earlier, the indies label UNDER FLOWER RECORDS had made 1000 copies of Zeppet’s album “Snap, Slide, Sandpit”, but since they did no lives and were overall unknown, those didn’t sell well. Among the acquaintances of their drummer Yanagida was a stylist who knew hide-san. According to tales from the office, that person passed the CD to a bunch of people, and one copy ended up at HEADWAX.

The CD just happened to end up in hide-san’s office?

Yes. Hide-san was living in LA at the time, but it seems that after he returned to Japan, he took a selection of the CDs scattered around the office home to listen to them. One of them was Zeppet’s, but since it was all sung in English, he didn’t think it was from a Japanese band at first. When he learned that it was from a band near Shimokita, he said “We have to do something with this” and contacted them. At the time, HEADWAX was associated with a band called DEEP, and it was at their one-man live that Zeppet Store met him for the first time. They knew they were to meet him that day, but the band members still questioned it, wondering if this was for real, when the elevator doors opened and hide-san was standing there.

Was he there by coincidence?

No, it was like he had been waiting for them. He was sitting there on his own, going, “Yo!” and they were very surprised.

While you knew X JAPAN, there was no similarity between their music and yours, was there?

None whatsoever. Zeppet Store couldn’t believe it when they heard that hide-san had taken an interest in them. Since their musical activities and their field were so different, it seemed very strange. Until they met him for real, they were sceptic and took that talk with a grain of salt when someone told them about it. It was only when they were drinking with hide-san after the live and he kept talking about their songs and their lyrics that they were thought, “Hey, this guy was really listening to us!”

What image did you have of hide-san after meeting him in person?

Before, Kimura did not know him at all. Even X JAPAN he only knew as far as “Kurenai” and such. They were on TV often, but the only impression he had of hide-san was that he had an existence completely separated from his own. When he heard about hide-san’s interest in them, he borrowed his solo CD from a co-worker, listening to his music properly for the first time.

Did you think it would be rude not to?

Yes, but frankly, in the beginning, he didn’t quite get it. It was completely divorced from X JAPAN, and while Kimura thought that hide-san was the kind of person to be doing appropriately interesting stuff, it was so different from what Kimura listened to that he didn’t know what to make of it.

What impression did you have when you met hide-san for the first time?

It was at the afterparty of a DEEP-live, when hide-san went directly to the members of Zeppet without even talking to those of DEEP, to chat with them on his own. They were drinking and Kimura was lacking confidence in it all, but seeing the earnest look in hide’s eyes, he ended up thinking, “This is a grown man I can trust completely.” It made him happy that hide-san cared about and spoke passionately with them, and he gave the impression of really loving music. At that time, they didn’t talk about business at all, and with hide-san endlessly asking about their lyrics and melodies, the impression changed to that of one single-minded about music. Until then, Kimura had thought him just a scary young man.

After that, did you sign up with hide-san’s label at once?

That fateful album came out in ‘94, they met in ‘95, but with hide-san living in LA, they couldn’t often talk directly. So, they started talking business with the representatives of HEADWAX. They talked about recording a demo tape with all their new songs of that time, but when that tape was done,　it was deemed so good that all those recordings ended up as the final version. Since the songs were all in English, the idea quickly changed to releasing it in the US, and they eventually did so with the album “716”. They met hide-san again when they went to LA.

For the second time?

The second time, yes.

Had it been hide-san’s idea to do a proper recording on the demo tape?

 Yes. Since Zeppet were amateurs, they didn’t really understand the meaning of demo tapes. Since they were now in a studio much more splendid than what they had worked in before, they reworked their lyrics, fixed the arrangements, and recorded it all giving their best.

And suddenly, you debuted in the US.

Yes. Because they released the demo tape like it was a competition, three companies put their hands up for it. They picked the one with the most favorable conditions. Since they would come out specifically in the US, it was decided that they should do some promotion, and while they only gave three concerts, they stayed over there for about a month.

That’s amazing! (laughs)

It was mostly sightseeing. In LA they did serious promotion: Went on the radio, gave interviews, appeared on TV, had a live at the “Viper Room” run by Johnny Depp, and more. They were put in charge of an event by an organization like the Japanese JASRAC [Japanese Society for the Rights of Authors, Composers and Publishers]. Because there are a lot of Japanese people in San Francisco, they  interviewed with the local newspaper and gave a concert, but next they went to Seattle and there was nothing (laughing). So they went to have fun at the club night after night.

What was meeting hide-san for the second time like?

Kimura’s got an entire mountain of memories of that second time in LA. One time, hide-san took them to a Japanese restaurant he often went to, and as they went back to the hotel in two cars, music by Zeppet was played on the radio of the car hide-san was in. The car suddenly stopped, and hide-san said, “It’s on!” while crying.

Crying?

Yes. They were drunk, but all the band members and hide-san sat in the car, motionless, for four minutes, and hide-san was crying. And then he fell asleep, with an extremely happy expression on his face. They delivered him home like this.

Did you talk a lot when you were in LA?

They did. Hide-san came to see them live in LA, and after the concert was over, he said, “If you ever win an award, you can say, “Thank you, hide”. That’s enough.” At just that time, hide-san was starting zilch, and Kimura thinks that releasing an album in the US had been his dream as well. It seemed like the fact that he got this small indies band in his employment to debut there first made him very proud and happy.

You said you had three lives; did hide-san come to see all of them?

No, just the one in LA. It seems like he wanted to come to the others, but his own schedule made that impossible. Since there had been no opportunity for him to see them in Japan, LA was the first time he got to watch them perform. Anyway, in Japan, they were a band with roughly fifteen people in the audience. Fifteen was the biggest crowd they had ever assembled. At their worst, it was three.

And then you suddenly gave concerts in the US.

It was like a dream. Until then, they had only had stages of around 20 minutes. Now there were 40 minutes, and that they came out for encores also started in LA.

Did hide-san say anything about his thoughts on your live?

There was only one negative thing Kimura got: That he did not convey enough strong emotions with his eyes. “You have to put a bit more power into your eyes,” he was told. “Don’t make eyes like Mogutan,” hide said and called him Mogutan [Character from “Manga Hajimete Monagatari”, an educational program for children that ran from 1978 until 1984] for a while. Aside from that, he didn’t say anything. He liked Zeppet as it was and didn’t feel the need to interfere with Kimura’s handling of it. He said he was not a producer, just a collector who liked Zeppet, so as long as he could get their work out into the world, he was satisfied. Hide-san didn’t say anything about their musicianship or their visuals. In fact, it was a bit anti-climatic.

Weren’t there any songs he didn’t like?

There weren’t. Their first two albums – the one that got them to meet hide-san and the one after that – were in English, but their debut was made in Japanese. Since he had been singing exclusively in English until then, Kimura was very anxious about that and wondered what hide-san thought about it, but hide-san only said, “It made me cry.” Afterwards, Kimura was called alone to the Sendai concert of the PSYENCE-tour to perform there on his own. He took the Shinkansen to Sendai and performed their single “Koe” before the encore. Since he came alone and didn’t bring anything, hide-san said, “Use my guitar”, and let him borrow it.

Your impressions of that time

It had been just before hide debut, and Kimura realized what it meant to give music his own color. hide-san’s thought process was unpredictable. Kimura thinks his way of thinking must have changed somewhere along the way to keep up with hide-san’s. When they they had someone from the audience come up on stage and dance during the song called “Beauty & Stupid”, Kimura asked hide-san, “Please let me dance as well” and was allowed on stage. Since he didn’t have a personality like that, something must have changed. The tour was stimulating like that. While he was dancing in female clothes wearing a wig, it was pointed out during the MC that “Kimura, who was singing yesterday, is dancing over there.” Later, during the afterparty, DIE-san sang and played “Koe” on the keyboard and the members of hide-san’s band were crying. Inada-san (INA) was wailing. At that moment, Kimura thought, “I’m lucky to debut among people like these.” In the end, Kimura couldn’t keep going with them due to some sudden developments, but it was fun, that year, shocking as it had been.

Zeppet’s activities then?

They also went on tour. When they did their tour starting with their second single, they were also in a place where hide-san was scheduled to be. They saw his live in Sapporo.

Did your impression regarding hide-san change?

Kimura thought that if you know him better, hide-san is a pretty kind person. Even if he raged when drunk, he would always say, “I’m sorry” the next day. While irrational things made him angry, he was never angry at the members of Zeppet. No matter how drunk he was, he always supported them. He took them to a lot of bars, and later they heard from the staff that he paid for everything with his own money. He was like the embodiment of kindness. To Kimura, he was a music-loving, mischievous older brother.

You were taught many things.

Drinking until morning was one of them, that was something Kimura did not know before being dragged around. He liked alcohol, but wasn’t tough enough to keep going all night. He was taught to go through two or three places and finish it off by eating ramen. Then, when moving on, the walked with a skip to their steps (laughing).

What do you mean?

It was a silly thing, but he liked silly things, and he enjoyed being in that circle. It seemed unbelievable to him, a plain guy who had just debuted, should be friends with these flashy people and be on good terms with them.

Were you ever given advice?

Hide-san never told them to do things in a specific way, but at the time of their major debut, he said, “If you’re active in Japan, wouldn’t it be better to do so in Japanese?” Also, they were often told that bands that do not have a concert at the end of the year are not bands at all.

At the end of the ear? On New Year’s Eve?

They were told to “do that, no matter what.”

What were things you consulted with him about?

When it came to writing lyrics, they consulted hide-san on how to put them down in Japanese. Kimura asked, for example, if it was okay to write the song in Japanese and have only the hook in English. hide told him to just write it the way he likes it and see what happens. They were talking about their second single, “TO BE FREE”, and Kimura was told that it wouldn’t be any problem at all. Then, Inada-san taught them various recording techniques. Like how to make the core sound of the guitar stronger. When hide-san was drunk, he talked a lot, but those were just trivial stories. There was talk about music for about the first 30 minutes, after that it’s all silly but fun stories. He did get passionate talking to guitarist Gomi about effectors, though. Gomi-kun was using a guitar called “Jaguar” at the time, and hide-san ordered a guitar with the exact same shape from Fernandez, which had been, again, extremely cool. The song he used it for, saying he was influenced by Zeppet in this, was “Flame”. That hide-san had been so open about having being influenced by them made them extremely happy. At the time of recording “Flame”, hide-san said, “Please lend me your drums”, and so Zeppet Store’s Yanagida beat the drums for that song on the album. There had been plans for a Zeppet Store concert around that time, but then Yanagida went to LA, and Kimura gave a concert on his own for maybe the second time in his life. Now he does that all the time, though (laughing). Then, however, he was like, “Curse you!” towards Yanagida.

He just had to go to LA on his own. (laughs)

The finished song was amazing again. It had a melody Kimura had not heard before, and it was interesting that hide-san said, “I was influenced by Zeppet and this is the result.” Also, Zeppet had a song called “Flake”, and it made Kimura happy that even the title was similar to one of theirs.

Did you watch an X JAPAN live at that time?

They bothered them at the 1996 end-of-year concert. Hide-san wore a green costume and gave off the kind of fashionable, cool air that had led to PSYENCE. After that, they went to the afterparty, and there was a year-end party from the office as well, it was magnificent. The following year, Zeppet, as per hide-san’s advice, also gave an end-of-year concert.

Did you also hang out with hide-san in Japan?

Yes. At that time, hide often went to a bar called “Rally” in Nishiabazu, and since he also took Kimura along, Kimura also ended up going there on his own.

Huh? Until then, you weren’t the type for that, were you?

Not at all. That, too, is clearly hide-san’s influence. One day, Kimura was drinking on his own when hide-san happened to come into the bar. Except, he was walking on crutches. Kimura had heard rumors that hide had broken his foot in Atami, but the people from the office didn’t tell them anything so they wouldn’t worry. Due to his injury, hide-san was not allowed to drink alcohol. It was not often that you saw him not drinking in a place like that, but having a strong sense of service towards those around him, he still stayed with Kimura for two hours and kept him company without drinking. During this time, he was regaling Kimura with wild, hilarious stories from the past until Kimura was rolling with laughter. “I want to meet Kimura’s girlfriend. Let’s call her, so you can introduce us!” So Kimura called his girlfriend of the time and the three of them kept drinking together. When hide-san got drunk, he would always talk about how useless he was. He liked to make fun of himself. It surprised Kimura how a rockstar like hide-san would look down on himself like that. The truth is, Kimura took after that trait and starts by talking shit about himself when drunk.

Hide-san could tell funny stories, couldn’t he?

No matter what kind of story, if hide-san was telling it, you ended up roaring with laughter. He had mastered the art of conversation. In any case, it was extremely funny. The next time they were drinking together, Kimura passed hide-san a cassette with hurdy gurdy [Kimura’s solo unit] music and asked him to listen to it. Then, it was used, without anyone telling him, in LEMONed’s catalogue video (laughing). About forty seconds of it, and the sound was bad, because it was from a cassette. Just letting it flow at its own convenience. Kimura was happy.

Was it rare for people to drink with hide-san?

It was more like a general trend, they were never alone at the time. The moment hide-san aimed for the counter, Kimura was at his side. Since they couldn’t really talk among all those people, those moments were his chance. They requested their favorite music and talked about bands like KISS, POLICE, or QUEEN. It was a wonderful time.

Kimura-san, what did hide-san mean to you?

Even though the things they did and their music were different, he is somehow still a mark Kimura is aiming for. He would probably get angry if he said that, though. As a human being, Kimura loved him, as a man he respected him, and even now he has yet to meet another person with this passion towards the music they are doing. When Kimura lost his way in regard to music during some part of his life, it was hide-san who helped him find it again. If he hadn’t met hide-san, he would probably be doing some other work now. If you think about it like that, hide-san was his benefactor. Although Kimura can’t surpass him, a small ambition to try still exists somewhere.

What did hide-san do as your benefactor?

Kimura loved music and had always wanted to do it, but he didn’t think he could make a living out of it. When he met hide-san, he was twenty-eight years old and pretty late to making his debut as a newbie. As he reached that age, he had given up on a lot of things in his life. He was facing the decision of whether to continue making music while working part-time, or find full employment and become a self-sufficient member of society. It was a time of great worries. Then he met hide-san and his way of thinking changed: He decided that he could trust this person and that he would follow him as far as possible. At that time, Kimura was jobbing at a pachinko parlor, and if he did not become a full employee, he would have to give that up. If he did become one, he could make it to manager. Also, it came with a nice salary – more than double than what he would make as an office worker. Since he was living at the pachinko mansion, quitting that job would also mean giving up his room. His life would change drastically, he’d have to move out, and while he wondered if he could really do this, he was also aware that a chance like the one hide-san offered him would not come again, and so he decided to follow him.

That decision required courage.

So it did. If Kimura remembers it now, he wonders how that was even something to think twice about, but back then, he agonized about it a lot.

He was someone who changed your life, wasn’t he?

If Kimura hadn’t met hide-san, he wouldn’t be the person he is today. He wouldn’t have stood in the Ajinomoto-Stadium. He would probably have continued to do music but would have performed in front of an audience of maybe fifteen to twenty people. Through meeting hide-san and being recognized by him, Kimura became an adult. Hide-san was his patron.

What would you want to tell young fans about hide-san?

They can learn about his music from CDs and DVDs, but the plain, unadorned part of hide-san is not talked about much, so Kimura would like to tell them about him as just a guy. He was made of kindness, extremely thoughtful. Even though he was the main act, he never lost sight of those around him. He showed great consideration for the staff and even gave attention to people like Kimura, who had a completely different view on things. “Kimura-san looks bored, so let’s entertain him” he’d say to the staff. Kimura thinks he was massively tolerant of other people’s faults. He could be troublesome when drunk, but everyone understood that that was just the flipside of all the affection, and no one around Kimura ever said a single bad word about him. Of the people who had even a little bit to do with hide-san, no one really said anything bad. Kimura got the strong impression that he was someone who was loved by those around him no matter what. There is no one else like that. The impression he left was that of a person who wasn’t perfect, but good.

That no one got angry with him even when he was acting irrationally is amazing. Simply put, it speaks of virtue.

Really. When Zeppet was DJing at the LEMONed Club Event, hide-san unexpectedly came to visit. Since there would have been an uproar if he had been discovered, they went drinking together in the back, and because Zeppet Store’s second single had just come out, talk inevitably turned to the band. At this point, hide-san asked a staff member, “Are you promoting it properly?”, showing a glimpse of being the head of their company in a business context. When the staff member said, “I have no idea,” he lost it. So he hit the wall hard enough for it to break and for blood to flow.

……

 Of course he couldn’t hit his own staff member at his own event. Instead, he raged wihtou involving other people and chased a taxi, that’s all. Hide-san liked chasing taxis, it seems. He liked running, too.

Did you see him run a lot?

He did. Running, rolling… He never failed to do something funny. On hide-san’s birthday, Sugizo-san and J-san of Luna Sea came by. J-san had brought a 1-sho [1,8 litres] bottle of Japanese sake that hide-san liked, putting it on the table with a “Happy Birthday!” And hide-san just said, “I appreciate it, J, but I quit drinking Japanese sake. When I drink it, I flip out.” That got him the admiration of his close friends. Hide-san introduced Kimura to Sugizo-kun and J-kun and really, a lot of other people. Even though hide-san is already gone, Kimura still meets people through him. While it’s not just people hide-san introduced him to directly, he became friends with kyo-chan through hide-san, who came to stay the night at Kimura’s just the other day.  

He had a gift for connecting people with each other, didn’t he?

At the time of Kimura’s debut, most of his fans knew him through hide-san, and even now, it’s thanks to hide that he can connect with his fans. Kimura Seiji is someone living his life in hide-san’s protection and is thus inseparable from him. Even now, the memorial portrait of hide-san in the room where Kimura makes his music is properly decorated. For a while, it was right in the center, but he eventually moved it back some because it was awkward like that. Even now there are probably people who mistake hide-san for LEMONed’s producer. But that is far from the truth. Hide-san always said that he was just a simple collector who wanted to release the things that were good. He approached it with the basic mindset that good things didn’t need to be tampered with, Kimura and the others had complete freedom. They only got four singles and one album delivered through hide-san. For the last single, they had to overcome the fact that their guitarist Gomi-kun, whom hide-san had loved, had quit, but they still got extremely high praise for it. Hide-san called them specifically to tell them that he had cried about a hundred times. It’s because of memories like this that Kimura is still taking singing seriously. Because even until today, there’s been no one else to say such things to him.

Hide-san was also gifted at giving praise.

Hide-san’s praise really became Kimura’s stepping stone. That he could just go for it, thinking, “Next, I’ll write another good song” was also hide-san’s power. That single became the last song of his that hide-san listened to. Even though that is what it is, Kimura wanted him to listen to many more songs.

Is there anything you would like to say to hide-san today?

Even now, Kimura still asks hide-san how to deal with it when he has a problem. But now, he has to find the answer himself. He received that strength, and now, by asking, he feels that he is growing up a little. To speak plainly, hide-san’s meaning to him exceeds family. He is so important that inside Kimura, he has the status of a god, even if it seems strange to say it like that. Kimura is truly grateful that he got to meet hide-san, because of that one CD that happened to end up in his hands.

[theageofsims]

Having Rain end up back into the legacy was totally unexpected. For those that don't know, she's the last child of Nalani Mahi'ai (legacy co-founder) to have passed away in my "Powhatan Legacy".

Rain was born when her mother and father were pretty much up there in age. Her father passed away when she was a teenager and her mother passed away when she was a young adult.

Despite having difficulties since she was a kid, from her mental illnesses -- including being kicked out of high school (because she had a hard time focusing/attending school), she did her best with the cards she was dealt.

She was not born a mermaid (like her mother and her two half brothers, Taro and Bo), but a human (like her father Enele).

Rain also went on to find love and marry shortly after. Her husband Rua and her immediately moved to San Myshuno where he worked in food services while she worked in wellness (finding it the only thing to calm her erratic mind along with the medication she finally had access to once she left the island of Sulani… something she did without all of her years growing up there).

They had a cat named Bella Rue (given to her by her half-brother Taro when he moved back to Sulani with his expanding family, when she was a little girl) and a dog named JD (Rua was a dog lover).

Unfortunately, Rua passed away when one son was just a newborn and the other an infant. That prompted Lani to go to San Myshuno and bring her Aunt and her cousins to live with her in Sulani as she was the only family member left to care for her / help her.

Rain loved the guitar as much as her father did. When he passed away she only played and never bought another.

Rain also loved to paint like her mother.

Just before her passing, she managed to license her one and only song she wrote with her guitar. She called it, "The Boys" -- which was dedicated to her two sons she was leaving behind.

Her Stats:

Some screencaps I took of her/Rua and their sons, Julien and Nigel

[typingtess]

NCIS: Los Angeles Season 14 Rewatch:   “A Farewell to Arms”

The basics:  A tech guy creating chips for the Navy is badly injured in a hotel attack.

Written by:  Chad Mazero co-wrote "Internal Affairs", "Revenge Deferred" and "Where Everybody Knows Your Name", "The Noble Maidens" and "Pandora’s Box".  Wrote "Tidings We Bring", "Can I Get a Witness", "All Is Bright", "Diamond in the Rough", "High Society", "Murder of Crows", "Overdue", "Sorry for Your Loss" and "Flesh & Blood".

Directed by:   John P. Kousakis directed "Imposters", "Sacrifice", "San Voir" part one, "The Fifth Man", "Parley", "Inelegant Heart", "Chernoff, K.", "Active Measures", "The Long Goodbye", "Talion", "Glasnost", "Unleashed", "Party Crashers", "This Is What We Do" (episode 200), "Goodbye Vietnam", "Ninguna Salida", "The Guardian", "High Society", "A Tale of Two Igors", "Under the Influence", "Genesis", "Come Together", all of the Afghanistan scenes from "Iron Curtain Rising" to "Zero Days" in season five and all of Kensi’s injury/recovery storyline scenes from "The Queen’s Gambit" to "Sirens" in season eight. 

Guest stars of note:  Lesley Boone was back from “Best Seller” as Nina Barnes.  Marilu Henner as Elizabeth Kilbride, Valerie Azlynn as Colleen/Paulina Kaminska, Michael Bow as Sean Baker, Nick Hargrove as Clyde Greene and JT Neal as Bartender.

Our heroes:  Track down chips on their way to foreign enemies.

What important things did we learn about: Callen:  Plans to leave his Leatherman to Sam. Sam:    Has a guy who can make the Leatherman leaving an item in Callen’s will. Kensi:  Wants a 9PM curfew for Rosa. Deeks:  Thinks about therapy after a creepy doll encounter. Fatima:   Notices something different about the Admiral. Rountree:   See Fatima. Kilbride:  Hanging with the ex.

What not so important things did we learn about:

Callen:  Not impressed with the bartender’s screenplay plans. Sam:    Does the big chase on foot. Kensi:  Third Eye Blind fan. Deeks:  Missed curfew by two-days. Fatima:   In the mood to go clubbing. Rountree:  Worried about massive rains in Los Angeles. Kilbride:   Plays Wordle.

Where in the world is Henrietta Lange?  No idea.

Who's down with OTP:   Kensi and Deeks are in full parent mode.  Kilbride and the ex have a warmer relationship than one might think.

Who's down with BrOTP:  Sam has yet another guy for Callen. 

Fashion review:   Callen wore a dark blue, button down shirt.  Long sleeve black tee for Sam.  Kensi wore a white sweater with buttons.  A pale red sweatshirt for Deeks (not quite pink but not quite red either).  Fatima’s leather jacket looks soft like butter and it is over a concrete grey turtleneck.  A dark pink jacket over a red sweater for Rountree.  The Admiral is three piece suiting with a pale blue dress shirt and blue tie.

Music:   “These Boots Were Made for Walking” by Nancy Sinatra opens the episode.  There is a song at the end that I could not track down and the credits didn’t show up in the closed caption (which rarely happens).

Any notable cut scene:  Not today.

Quote:  Elizabeth:  “We were still in the hospital, and I was still in pain.  I couldn't sleep.   So you told me that you wouldn't either.  Even though you had just gotten back from... wherever they had sent you.” Kilbride:  “Cambodia.  We were in and out in 36 hours.” Elizabeth:  “Yeah, you were exhausted.  So there you were, holding Alex, and...fighting like hell to stay awake for me.  Then you fell asleep.  Now, I may have been young and..but I was smart enough to know that there are very few certain things in this world.  And seeing the two of you like that...I said, "Damn it, one thing is sure.  That man will always be there for his boy."  You let me down, Hollace.  But more importantly, you let Alex down too.”

The Nina Barnes rugelach conversation was a delight.

Anything else:  A woman walks into a hotel’s rooftop bar dragging a small, carry-on suitcase behind her.  With a bit of a southern accent, she asks the bartender for something quick and fancy, like a gin and tonic, hold the tonic.  She and the bartender share a laugh.  As he goes to make the drink, the woman speaks to another patron sitting at the bar.  She remembers seeing the bartender on one of the CBS soap operas.  Her fellow patron isn’t a soap fan.  He’s busy with his phone.  She introduces herself as Colleen from Virginia.  He’s Sean.  She’d love to stay with him but she’s flying home to Virginia in two-hours.  Sean is worried that she’ll miss her flight, traffic it LAX is a disaster.  She’s flying out of Long Beach.  That’s not much better.  If she leaves right away, she might make it, according to Sean.  Colleen quickly makes her way to the door.

As she walks through the hotel’s mezzanine level, Sean catches up with Colleen.  She took his suitcase by mistake. She apologizes and Sean seems good with it.  Except she’s not apologizing for taking the bag.  She swings the suitcase at his head.  The two fight – Sean has no problem hitting her and Colleen has no issue kicking Sean off the mezzanine and to the floor of the hotel lobby.

Sam drives in with Callen.  The two are talking about a text Callen sent Sam.  If anything ever happens to Callen, he wants Sam to have his Leatherman tool.  Sam wants Callen to talk to an estate lawyer – Sam knows a guy.  Callen tells same he doesn’t need an estate lawyer, he doesn’t really own anything.  Sam disagrees.  If Callen is getting married, he needs to have his affairs in order.  The Leatherman is going to Deeks now.

Deeks is telling Kensi a story about cows and missing curfew by two-days.  Kensi didn’t really have a curfew because she was homeless but before her father died, she stayed out late to see Third-Eye Blind.  While she made it home in time, she stole backstage passes.  Realizing that teenagers do things they shouldn’t, Rosa is looking at a 9PM curfew.

In the office, Rountree is worried about catastrophic rains, an ARKStorm, that are headed to Los Angeles.  Fatima, not so much when she hears it is between five months and 50-years.  She hopes they can solve their case before the rains come. 

In Ops, Sean Baker, the fellow from the bar, is on the big screen.  Currently in critical condition, Baker has been living in the York Park Hotel.  Callen asks why is NCIS interested.  Baker is the co-founder of Almaya Technautics, an LA-based company working with the Navy.  If they are LA based, why would Baker be living in a hotel Rountree asks.  Fatima isn’t sure but the address on his driver’s license is no longer current. 

According to the Navy, Almaya Technautics was creating autonomous rescue agents for the battlefield.  Basically robots.  If the robots were trained to find members of the US military on the ground, they could also be programmed to hunt and kill the military members by a bad actor. 

Cameras were off in the mezzanine and lobby areas – no way to know how Baker wound up on the lobby floor but witnesses saw him with a blonde woman.  Security cameras on the hotel rooftop has a clear photo of Colleen.  Facial recognition has not matched her with anyone in the system.  Kilbride wants to find Colleen and see if she’s made off with any of Baker’s technology.  Callen and Sam are on their way to hotel.  Kensi and Deeks are interviewing an exec from Baker’s company to see if there were any threats prior to the morning’s attack.

When Callen and Sam leave, Rountree asks about Kilbride, who isn’t in the office.  Fatima says all the information she got about the case was from him via an encrypted message.  Rountree worries if he is in trouble.

In his house, Kilbride is straightening his tie when he hears a door open.  A woman – Elizabeth - wearing what looks to be his bathrobe is walking into the kitchen with some daisies.  Kilbride is surprised she’s still there.  He also remembers that she hates daisies.  Elizabeth is touched he remembered she hated daisies.  Maybe if he remembered their wedding anniversary, they wouldn’t have divorced 30-years ago.  She’s kidding, they got divorced because of his temper.

Kilbride has had enough of memory lane – he’s going to the office.  Elizabeth was about to make them breakfast but he had nothing but expired Vienna sausage in the fridge.  Kilbride recommends a diner down the street.  Whispering, Elizabeth said they had fun the night before.  “Last night was something,” Kilbride replies. 

The Admiral really wants to know why Elizabeth is there.  She said she told him last night – she was in town for conference, thought they could get drinks and catch up.  “Well, I didn’t expect us to catch up so much.”  Saying he was able to read her face since she was 25-years old, Kilbride wants to know what Elizabeth really wants.  She wants to take a shower.  He tells her where the towels are and asks her to lock the door when she leaves.

Callen and Sam check around the hotel – which is a pricy place.  Employees told Sam that Colleen left through a back stairwell.  LAPD said she had Baker’s suitcase.  Cameras saw her in the alley but lost her once she hit the streets.  Fatima is checking for nearby security cams.  Sam sees the blood on the mezzanine floor.  Callen uses the blood stains to recreate the fight.  With the distance between the blood spots, Callen and Sam realize they are dealing with a professional.

In the boat shed, Kensi and Deeks are meeting with Clyde Green, Baker’s partner.  He immediately asks about Baker, who is out of surgery and things are looking better.  Greene thinks Baker’s mother is going to blame him for the fall.  “She blames me for everything bad that happens to him.”  They’ve known each other since they were kids and they got into the trouble that kids get into.  Deeks brings up his conversation with Kensi – cows and Third Eye Blind.  Greene is unfamiliar with Third Eye Blind, offending Kensi.

Back to Baker, he and Greene had the idea for the company in their dorm room in college but they built up their resumes with other jobs so they could get the company off the ground.  About a year ago, everything changed with the explosion of interest in AI.  Asked why Baker was staying in a hotel, Greene tells them Baker stays in hotels all the time.  Moves every few weeks, likes to shake things up.  Does the same thing with his hobbies – finds consistency smothering.  Deeks agrees, again offending Kensi.  Back to Baker, Kensi asks if Greene knew anyone interested in hurting Baker.  He does not.  Greene wants to go back to the office – things are chaotic after what happened that morning.  When Greene leaves, Kensi says she and Deeks aren’t the only ones who are best friends and working together.  Deeks agrees but the only thing he started in his dorm room was a fire with a hot plate.  Kensi asks what’s a hot plate.

In Ops, Fatima asks an arriving Kilbride if he is okay.  “Well, considering that I have been forced to live out my so-called golden years in this overly triggered insecurity blanket of a town, the answer is no, Agent Namazi.”  Fatima is almost laughing but knows that’s the wrong move.  She mentions she was worried when he wasn’t in that morning.  He wants a sitrep.  Fatima looks at the Admiral and asks if there is something different about him that day.  The Admiral doesn’t think he should have to beg for a sitrep.

Fatima has been in touch with the Office of Naval Research.  All work done by Baker and his company is being reviewed and any systems installed are being prepared for possible cyberattacks.  Rountree walks in talking about access to Baker’s bank accounts without knowing the Admiral was there.  Looking at Kilbride, Rountree asks if there is something different about him that morning.  “I got highlights,” Kilbride snarks before asking Rountree to proceed.

Baker has been paying a downtown art gallery for a studio over the last three months.  Without a home and without a longstanding hobby, why would he be paying an art gallery over the last few  months?  Saying they need a warrant, the Admiral wants Kensi and Deeks to check out the gallery.  As he leaves Ops, Fatima and Rountree are looking at him.  When he turns around to face them, they quickly turn away.

At the rooftop bar, LAPD is all over the place.  Callen talks to the bartender, who wonders if they got any hits on the fingerprints yet.  He used the word “hit”.  Callen thinks he is the one who should be asking questions, not the bartender.  The bartender starts on the perps who left without paying.  Callen asks him not to use the term “perps”.  The bartender is also working on a screenplay.  He’s been researching crime for his story.  Callen claims he isn’t a big reader.

Sam arrives with Baker’s briefcase.  The laptop is still inside.  Recapping the events of the day, the bartender confirms the woman from the security footage sat down with “our John Doe.”  Sam makes it clear, it is not “our” John Doe.  Or even a John Doe.  Callen shows the bartender a photo of Sean Baker, who not only confirms he was the guy at the bar, he also tells Callen and Sam that Baker was upset when he noticed his bag was gone.  Callen and Sam discuss that Colleen likely target Baker.  “And we all know how that worked out,” the bartender says shaking his head.  After a glare from Callen and Sam, the bartender is back behind the bar.

Callen wonders what was in the suitcase that was so important to Baker.  On Baker’s briefcase, Sam finds an Apple tracker.  There is likely a similar tracker in Baker’s suitcase.

Walking into the art gallery, Kensi and Deeks are in a studio Baker was using.  Looking around the studio, Kensi finds a box of dolls.  Cutting open one of the dolls, she finds a microchip – AT4756.  AT, like Almaya Technautics.  Kensi starts checking other dolls – they all have microchips.  Baker may have been selling them. 

With all the dolls cut open, Kensi feels really bad.  Fatima, on comms, thinks they are living a reboot of “Child’s Play”.  Unlike most computer chips, the microchips can be repurposed for all kinds of technology – they could work in drones, missiles or dishwashers.  US manufacturers of chips are not allowed to sell them internationally – why give a possible enemy such high end technology.  Baker could have been providing these to foreign militaries for big money.  Fatima is going to call Clyde Greene to see if any other chips are missing.

Callen and Sam call Rountree.  Rountree got a warrant to go into the iCloud and track Baker’s suitcase.  In the meantime, Baker’s personal devices are clean.  That makes sense to Callen – a career in tech means Baker knows what not to put on a personal device.  The suitcase is currently in a parking lot downtown.  Callen and Sam are on their way. 

As Rountree ends the call, the Admiral passes by on the office’s second floor.  He’s explaining to Elizabeth that he’s busy at work with a national security matter.  She’s making them dinner and dessert.  She’s brought in groceries including leafy green vegetables.  She’s worried about his heart.  “There’s a first time for everything,” Kilbride notes.  Elizabeth tells him she misses their fights.  They bring up best fight in the Tropicana in Atlantic City where she stabbed him with a crab knife.  They made up twice in the elevator.

Ending his call with Elizabeth, the Admiral is approached by Fatima.  “Walk and talk, Agent Namazi.”  The two go down the main part of the office.  Nobody on any flight leaving Los Angeles – any LA airport – matches Collen’s description.  The Navy also confirmed that the chips in the dolls were manufactured by Almaya Technautics.  Clyde Greene isn’t at the office so they can’t confirm if any other chips are missing.  The Admiral wants a sitrep when she has something new to tell him, not a rehash of what she doesn’t know.  Fatima sighs as the Admiral walks away.  Offering some comfort, Rountree tells her the ARKStorm could wash them all away and the Admiral wouldn’t remember their conversation.  It doesn’t help Fatima.

Rountree thinks if Baker was selling the chips, he would have to have buyers.  There’s one person in the selling weapons to bad guys business they could talk to.  And she has pastries.

Callen asks Sam about what he’s getting if Sam “heads out to that big math competition in the sky.”  Sam’s turn to be offended.  He’s not dying first – Sam tells Callen that Callen thinks the sixth food group is “fast”.  Callen is worried that Sam keeps things bottled up – that will catch up to him.  Callen and Sam see Clyde Greene pulling a suitcase from a car’s trunk.   Sam yells “federal agents” and Greene talks off with Sam behind him.  It isn’t much of a chase.

While Fatima looks at the parking lot’s security cameras, Sam tells Callen the suitcase is empty.  Greene explains this is all a misunderstanding.  Callen and Sam were not the federal agents he spoke to that morning.  Callen asks if Greene thought there were only two federal agents in the entire city of Los Angeles.  “Budget cuts are no joke.” 

Callen and Sam have a theory – Greene found out that Baker had a side business.  Afraid of being cut out, Greene hired a killer to take out Baker.  Greene could cash in on all of Baker’s side deals and on the success of Almaya Technautics.  Greene said he didn’t hire anyone to kill anyone.  Their deal with the Navy barred Almaya Technautics from selling their chips to anyone.  With the worldwide shortage of the chips, they did a few side deals on the dark web.  Baker got greedy – he was going to sell 200.  That’s what was in the suitcase – the buyer was going to be in the bar.  Callen explains that Baker was set up.  They knew he’d be in the bar with the suitcase.  Enemies of the US could now have the chips – Greene could be charged with treason.

Nina Barnes is selling a customer on her new cupcakes – horseradish in the mix – when Kensi and Deeks arrive.  She thinks Kensi and Deeks are there to thank her for the rugelach she sent for Hanukkah.  They’re not but they were grateful for the rugelach.  Kensi shows Nina a photo of Colleen – does Nina know her.  Nina does not.  Deeks explains that Colleen may be involved with stolen microchips.  Nina doesn’t deal in microchips but they are changing the world of arms dealing.  While she’s not in the microchips business, Nina knows someone who is.

Back in the office, Callen and Sam are approached by Fatima.  She has parking lot footage including Colleen leaving her vehicle for an SUV.  She’s going to an airport in Van Nuys.  Callen wants Fatima to stop any air traffic in or out of the airport.

Rosetta Stone grad Nina Barnes is speaking in Italian to a contact on the phone, impressing both Kensi and Deeks.  Kensi is also enjoying a cupcake.  Phil Collins comes up in the phone call.  Seems the Italian gunrunner confused a German gunrunner for Phil Collins.  Anyway, Nina has a name – Paulina Kaminska, who was going by Colleen.  Kaminska and a partner broker deals across Europe.  She left the game a few years ago but she’s obviously back.  Maybe the money being offered for microchips pulled her back in.  Nina says Kaminska is really good at her job – she’s never been caught, that’s why she not in any database.

In Ops, Fatima and Rountree have a background for Kaminska.  She’s a Polish national who has contacts all over the world.  If she’s out of the US, she’s in the wind.  And the microchips are up for sale to the highest bidder.  Van Nuys airport is closed to incoming and outgoing traffic.  Kaminska’s vehicle was dumped off by the airport at an abandoned night club. 

Callen and Sam are at the airport, Kensi and Deeks are 10-minutes out.  Callen and Sam see Kaminska move the chips but a vehicle pulls up to where she’s making the deal.  Two more men come to the sale.  Callen takes photos of the men and send them to Ops.  Kilbride orders Rountree to join Callen and Sam in the Van Nuys airport.  Fatima searches for the men.  Callen realizes Kaminska wasn’t going to the airport, she was going to the abandoned night club.

Kensi and Deeks arrive as Kaminska and her buyers enter the night clubs.  Anton Kusev is one of the men in the photos.  He’s a former Russian intelligence officer who has become a Russian arms broker – one of the most wanted men in the world.  Kilbride makes it clear, the sale can’t go through.  Sam has a plan.

Kaminska is showing the chips to her Russian buyers when Deeks knocks on the back door.  When one of Kusev’s men answer the door, Deeks knocks him out and enters the building.  Deeks gets into a little hand to hand combat with another one of Kusev’s men, this guy grabs a knife from the club’s kitchen.  Deeks knocks away the knife and Kusev’s man falls to the ground, making a loud noise.  Kaminska, Kusev and one of his guards run.  Sam and Rountree tackle Kusev and his men.  Callen stops Kaminska before she can drive away.

The team are meeting around the briefcase with the chips and talking about food.  Deeks says he’s feeling good about going out as long as he’s home by 9PM for Rosa’s curfew.  If she has a curfew, so does he.  Sam laughs at curfew.  Deeks says they just stopped a Russian arms dealer – if he can’t maintain a curfew, what’s going on.  And what’s going on is Deeks noticing that the microchips are different than the ones he and Kensi found in the studio.  The microchips are all blank – no AT branding for Baker’s company.  Callen looks over to an in-custody Kaminska.  They are fakes.  Callen tells Deeks and Rountree to go home.  They are going to handle Kaminska.

Hoping she’d get a nap in before Callen and Sam figured it out, Kaminska tells Callen and Sam she destroyed the chips.  She gives them an address to find the destroyed chips.  She explains that her home is near the border.  Now there are thousands of refugees crossing into Poland.  Knowing what she did for years, she saw what arms dealing did to real people.  “Karma’s a bitch.” 

Knowing that the Russians were going to get Baker’s microchips, she stole them.  They were going to Russia, China or Iran – things were not going to end well.  “What’s one last job?” she asked.  Callen and Sam asked why she would sell the fake chips.  Well, a girl has to eat. 

Rountree returns to the office.  The REACT team found all 200 of the real microchips, according to Fatima.  Fatima has club plans – a new retro place downtown.  If they big storms are going to take them away, might as well have some fun.

Entering his home, Kilbride finds Elizabeth, jazz playing in the background and dinner was wrapped up in aluminum foil.  She didn’t want to get the food cold.  Sharing some wine, Elizabeth asks about the happiest day of the marriage.  Kilbride jokes it was the day her mother moved away.  “That woman loved you,” Elizabeth tells him.  Elizabeth says it was the night after their son Alexander was born.  He was just back from Cambodia and while he was exhausted, he held their son until he couldn’t fight sleep anymore.  Seeing her then husband with their son, she was sure he’d always be there for “his boy.”

Feeling he let both her and Alex down, Elizabeth wanted to be sure if Kilbride changed.  He claims that their son made choices, and made them as an adult.  Kilbride tried to help “many times” but Alex wanted no part of his father.  Elizabeth explains Alex is clean now but she’s worried it might change.  She’s tired of worrying alone. 

Sticking with his treatment program, Alex is going regularly.  Elizabeth goes regularly as well to family therapy.  She wants Kilbride there too.  “Promise me you’ll thinks about it.”  That earns a “fine” from Kilbride.  She starts to reheat the food – crab legs.  He’s switching from wine to scotch.  “I think I’ll make it a double.”

What head canon can be formed from here:    It will come up again later in the season but the exploration of Kilbride’s personal life should have started a season earlier.  I know the prior season was about getting Callen engaged and making Kensi and Deeks parents but a man who put everything into his career at the expense of his family, a man struggling that his choices hurt his family, especially played by Gerald McRaney really would have worked on a longer runway than the final few episodes of the season.

Marilu Henner was a great choice as Kilbride’s ex.  Terrific actress who can do comedy and drama, age appropriate too.  One thing – Elizabeth divorced Kilbride for his temper but she stabbed him with a crab knife?

The case of the week was rather generic outside of the Ukrainian connection for Paulina.  I don’t think Paulina spends a day in jail after her arraignment.  Her connections are far too valuable, especially since she’s retired.

I was half expecting Sam to tell Callen it was his Leatherman tool that Callen borrowed years ago.  That was a silly missed opportunity.

Kensi disappeared when they got to the bar in Van Nuys.  We were told Kensi and Deeks were 10-minute behind Callen and Sam, Kensi said they were on their way and outside of speaking once to Deeks as he went into the bar on the earwigs, Kensi was MIA for the last 10-minutes of the episode.

Episode number:   This is episode 13 of season 14, the 315th episode overall.