#cos i like them to have an equal number of photos in posts like this but I struggle to find a whole lot of pics of artie

[paul-simon-juggling]

Simon & Garfunkel: ✨️Glasses Edition ✨️

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 18X01

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

I was really excited for the Premiere and I have never been so disappointed in my life. It took me a few days to write this review because I’m just so unimpressed. I feel like the only interesting parts of the Season 18 Premiere were the Meredith and Hayes FaceTime call, Levi in that outfit and Jo with that hair, and the interviews. That's it. I mean Teddy and Owen’s two weddings were interesting if you’re a Teddy and Owen shipper, but I never have been so that didn’t really do anything for me.

The pacing of the episode was super slow and it was just altogether boring. There were also just so many inconsistencies. For example, Teddy and Owen originally planned to get married at the park with just Megan, Farouk, Evelyn, Leo, and Allison which doesn’t make sense because prior to their break up they were talking about planning their dream wedding. Now they finally get married and Richard didn’t even know about it? They asked Megan to fly in, but they didn’t tell their friends at the hospital after they just all attended Maggie and Winston’s wedding two weeks earlier?

It’s also not clear if Meredith knows that they got married which is weird because she’s the main character of the show and was an integral part of Owen’s previous two weddings one of which was held at her house. Also, Amelia and Link weren’t there and it’s not clear if they even knew about the wedding which is weird because Meredith, Amelia, and Link were all present when Owen proposed to Teddy at Christmas at Meredith’s house and they are all co-parenting Leo together.

While I appreciated the shift to a lighter tone and that they chose to have this season exist in a post-COVID alternative universe where we can see the actors faces again without the PPE and return to escapism the Premiere didn't pack the punch I was expecting. The premieres are usually super shocking and action packed and this one just wasn't. It was just boring and all of the most interesting stuff happened off camera during the two weeks between the Season 17 Finale and the Season 18 Premiere which is just stupid.

I saw the priest getting hit by one of the cyclists coming a few minutes before it happened based on the promo and the context of the scene and there wasn't a big shocking event like there usually is. The pace of the Premiere really felt off to me. My friend Amy who I watch with every week described it as the pacing you usually associate with a nice stroll through a moonlit garden. Fine for episode two or three or a connecting episode but not the Premiere. I feel like they really misjudged what fans were looking for and I’m hoping that they do the work and course correct now that the Premiere has aired and the completely dismal fan reaction as come out.

One of the few bright spots for me was the introduction of Peter Gallagher as Dr. David Hamilton. I love him as an actor! He's great! His recent roles in Grace and Frankie and Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist were fantastic! I was super excited when I heard he was coming to Grey's. I like Dr. Hamilton so far and I'm interested to see how his relationship with Ellis and Meredith having dreams about her mother following her battle with COVID will play into the story this season. While it would be interesting to see Meredith work in Minnesota temporarily like Cristina did back in Season 9, I don't want her there permanently. Seattle is as much a character in the show as any of the main characters we've come to love, and something would be missing for me if she moved.

To be perfectly honest, it doesn't make much sense to me for Meredith to move to Minnesota permanently when she only knows a few people there. Who would watch her kids? If she's going to move to me, it makes more sense for her to move to Kansas where Alex is or Switzerland where Cristina is. Her kids have already lost their father and so many other caregivers and Meredith has stuck it out in Seattle for so long after everything that's happened that her moving to Minnesota for me would be bonkers.

Also, where were her kids in the Premiere? All of the interviews that came out prior to the Premiere talked about how Meredith’s focus at the beginning of the season would be on her work and her kids, but they were nowhere to be found in the Premiere and it’s not clear whose watching them while Meredith is in Minnesota. The interviews also made it seem like Meredith and Hayes would still be circling each other at the start of the season with quotes about how timing hadn’t been on their side, that they still needed to have an official drink and go out on a date, and that while Meredith wasn’t looking for a relationship one might find her.

That had literally nothing to do with the Premiere we saw whatsoever! The kids were MIA and it turned out that Meredith and Hayes started dating off screen following Maggie and Winston’s wedding and we didn’t get to see ANY of the firsts they talked about so much over the last two seasons. So stupid. The Premiere was a total rip off. I hate that Nick Marsh is back and I’ve never gone from liking a character and an actor to hating them in such a short period of time ever. My God. I’m so pissed off about this. What the hell were they thinking? Why did they think we would want this at all?

Don’t get me wrong, I loved Nick Marsh as a character and Scott Speedman's portrayal of him when he first showed up in Season 14. I was all ready for him to be Meredith's next great love and I was on board. But then he disappeared and was never heard from again and it was reported that Speedman wanted to take a break from TV for a while so I mourned the loss of what could have been and moved on. I sat through the out of character nonsense that was the DeLuca storyline in the belief that eventually that storyline would end, and Meredith would get a real proper love interest that made sense and would be her post-Derek endgame.

So, I was really excited when they introduced Hayes and I have really come to love his character and his budding relationship with Meredith. I feel like I've been waiting forever to finally see them go on a date and I am super pissed off that we didn't get to see it. I would have loved this storyline with Nick if they had introduced it at any previous point in time, but now after they've spent so much time setting up Meredith and Hayes it's just infuriating. I feel immense rage over how they handled Meredith and Hayes and Meredith and Nick’s storylines in the Premiere. I'm so angry. The whole thing just made no sense. That Premiere should never have aired. It never should have gotten past the draft stage. It was that bad. The first date and all of the firsts that come with a new relationship are the most exciting parts of a romantic storyline for me and I love seeing all of that on screen. They hyped Meredith and Hayes’ relationship up so much and even had the two of them talk about 'firsts' and dating after death so for their first date to happen off screen along with Austin's panic attacks and bad reaction to his Dad starting to date again is just such a rip off.

I have stuck with this show through thick and thin and for them to reward that loyalty by having the most interesting parts of that storyline happen off screen while showing a bunch of stuff on screen with other characters that they could have just told us about? So ridiculous. I was so excited for this season and now I'm just angry. I'm hoping that they are building to a big mid-season finale where Meredith is going to return to Seattle and by that time Bailey will have helped Hayes out with Austin and the two of them will finally get together on screen but I'm starting to feel like every time I get invested in one of the Meredith's new love interests, they pull the rug out from under me and I'm getting really fed up.

In other news, I'm not too surprised that Megan and Riggs broke up off screen only because Virgin River, which I love, just got picked up for two more seasons and I imagine Martin Henderson is busy filming that and it looks like Megan is going to be around for a while and they had to explain it somehow. I loved Meredith and Riggs together and I hated how they ended that storyline so I'm not sad about them breaking up off screen.

The Premiere also broke my heart over Amelia and Link’s storyline. It’s just so stupid. It’s drama for drama’s sake that’s all it is and it’s tired. When did marriage become so important to Link? In the span of a few months, he went from being totally fine with not getting married and checking in with Amelia every few weeks on how she felt to convincing himself that Amelia wanted him to propose so he did so at her sister's wedding and used her dead brother's children to do it. Amelia's right the whole thing was super messed up and manipulative and she was right to say no.

Link decided marriage was important to him and that fostering Luna would be totally fine without ever talking to Amelia. Yes, Amelia should have shared her thoughts with him too, but he also should have paid attention. Now their otherwise healthy relationship is over because she doesn't want to participate in an archaic ritual that involves signing a contract and exchanging vows? That's just stupid. I hope they find a way to work it out and get back together because I really like them as a couple.

I like Dr. Michelle Lin the new Head of Plastic of Surgery that Bailey and Richard are looking to hire. I thought for sure after that photo of the other guy made the rounds on social media that he was going to be the new Head of Plastics, but then he said that he doesn't do "free" and I knew he was out. I'm excited for there to be another female surgeon of colour on the show as the gender and racial balance on the show has been more white and male as of late and I think Grey's is at its best when you have a roughly equal number of women and men and as many different races being represented as possible.

I think it makes the storylines more interesting and authentic and personally gives me more characters that I can identify with. This new doctor seems driven, determined, and could have a potentially interesting dynamic with Richard and Bailey. She’s also giving me some Cristina Yang vibes and I’m all for that. I love Cristina. Always have. Always will. That being said, I'm a bit confused as to where they are going with Jo's storyline as I thought for sure the new Head of Plastics would be a guy and her new love interest. But Bailey did say they still needed to hire a new general surgeon and a new neurosurgeon so maybe one of them will be for her?

I can't really say that there was anything I loved about the Premiere which is disappointing. Jo's parenting hair dye mishap was funny, Levi's outfit cracked me up, and I liked that Bailey agreed to help Hayes out, but that's about it. The thing I was most excited for coming into this season was Meredith finally being back on her feet and seeing the romantic storyline between her and Hayes finally come to fruition.

Finding out that she's going to be in Minnesota for the foreseeable future, she and Hayes started dating off screen but had to call it quits because seeing his Dad date someone new caused Austin to have panic attacks, and finding out that Nick Marsh is back? I hated it. I don't understand how the same person who wrote the Season 16 masterpiece “Snowblind” with that amazing snow scene between Meredith and Hayes wrote the Premiere. I just don't understand. I really hope they're not going to do a love triangle with Meredith, Hayes, and Nick because that would just be so stupid.

She's a forty something award-winning surgeon who's a widowed single mother of three. Love triangles made sense when she was young intern, but at this point it's just dumb. I also didn't feel the chemistry this time around between Meredith and Nick like I did the first time. It felt forced and flat. I like Maggie and Winston together, but I didn't find their storyline in the Premiere particularly engaging. I'm glad that Amelia stayed true to herself, but I hate that Link has decided marriage is the only way forward and that they're still fighting.

The only moment that really made me laugh out of the hour was when Jo opened the door and Levi was in that ridiculous outfit. I loved the FaceTime call between Meredith and Hayes, but I hated the context. Honestly, I'm not really excited about any upcoming storyline this season which makes me really sad. I'm usually super positive and hopeful when it comes to this show, but this episode just stomped all over my dreams. All I can hope for now is that they pull a twist and everything I was hoping for happens in the mid-season finale otherwise I don't think I'm going to like this season very much.

Until next time!

[southeastasianists]

In the early days after the Myanmar military seized power on 1 February, many people from ethnic minority groups viewed the coup as a fight between and the military and the NLD, who they regard as having failed to promote the rights of ethnic minorities during its first term in government. I believe that, driven by their resentment towards the NLD, the coup reminded many ethnic people of their darkest hours under NLD government. Many do not feel belonging to the Union and believe their lives and positions would remain largely the same whether the country is ruled by the military or the NLD. Some ethnic armed groups such as the Kachin Independent Army (KIA) have suggested that they consider the present political conflict will make little difference to them.

The 2020 election was another landslide victory for the NLD, much like the 2015 election, at the expense of the military-backed Union Solidarity and Development Party (USDP). But it was also one of disappointment for ethnic parties, who won only 10% of seats at the national legislature. While many people chose the NLD to deter dominance by a USDP-military alliance, the result destroyed any dreams of a coalition government and let down expectations of a “kingmaker” role for ethnic parties. Many ethnic parties and the people they represent perceive they have been marginalised and excluded by the NLD party in many ways, not least the peace process with ethnic armed groups. Although the NLD sought dialogue with some ethnic parties to join a national unity government after the 2020 election, others were excluded.

Four ethnic party leaders have accepted positions in the State Administrative Council (SAC), the 15-member national governing body formed a day after the coup that is composed of military officials headed by military chief-cum-coup leader Senior General Min Aung Hlaing. While other ethnic parties refused the military’s offer, among those who took it up was the Arakan National Party (ANP). The ANP’s grievances lie in the NLD’s appointment of one of its own to Chief Minister of Rakhine State after the 2015 election, despite the ethnic party winning the majority of the state’s seats at the polls. Past statements from the ANP have highlighted the NLD’s lack of engagement with the party throughout crises in Rakhine State, the NLD’s exclusion of the ANP from post-2020 dialogue, and the NLD’s refusal to include all of Rakhine State in polling during the 2020 election despite urges by the Arakan Army and support by the military.

In the early days of the protests, many protestors wore red (a colour symbolising the NLD), held the party’s flags and clutched photos of state counsellor Aung San Suu Kyi. These images strengthened the narrative of the coup as a fight between the military and the NLD. Among the protesters’ primary demands were the release of Aung San Suu Kyi, president Win Myint and other detained leaders, and the materialisation of the results of the 2020 election by holding a parliamentary session. But this vision held by the majority Bamar protestors does not resonate with many ethnic people, even those who oppose the military coup.

To be clear, the military’s claim of mass electoral fraud in the 2020 election as the justification for the coup and promises of a “free and fair multi-party election” within a year has not received buy-in from a large number of ethnic people and ethnic political parties. Though they may not be supportive of the NLD, many also feel betrayed by the decision of some ethnic leaders to join the SAC.

Within this political framing, many ethnic people who want to stand in solidarity with those fighting against the coup face mental barriers and a sense of dissonance in raising their voices. To complicate matters, the military has co-opted some individuals from ethnic parties and armed groups through the conferral of positions in newly set up administrative councils at different levels of governance, creating further division and tension among the ethnic parties and their supporters.

Yet despite the grievances against the NLD, many ethnic minority people have been unable to ignore what is happening to their country and have begun showing their solidarity with those who are fighting against the coup. Not only are they participating in protests in major cities such as Yangon and Mandalay, localised protests are appearing rapidly in many ethnic areas such as the Kachin, Kayah, Karen, Chin, Rakhine, Mon and Shan states.

These latter protests differ, however, in that they commonly call for an end to the coup and dictatorship, an abolition of the 2008 constitution and the building of a federal union based on democracy, equality and rights to self-determination—demands which are not couched in terms of the NLD. Protesters in these states mostly wear black and hold the flags of their ethnic groupings rather than NLD flags and portraits of Aung San Suu Kyi.

On 11 February, the fifth day of protests in Yangon, the General Strike Committee of Nationalities (GSCN) was formed by ethnic youth representing 27 ethnic groups of Myanmar. This movement is receiving much traction. That day, the Committee organised a march in Yangon joined by over 5,000 people including students and young activists, with the majority of the protesters from ethnic minorities. Youth from different ethnic groups came together, holding banners and signs featuring colours symbolic of their ethnicities. One voice crossing racial and ethnic lines, their consolidated demands were clear: end dictatorship, abolish the 2008 constitution, build a Federal Democratic Union and release all who are unjustly detained.

People from ethnic minorities standing against the military are mainly concentrating on institutional change, in contrast with NLD supporters focused on the release of party leaders and the formation of government—which the former think of as oriented towards a return to the status quo. Many people from ethnic minorities instead ponder a political system in which there is equality and self-determination. They consider the 2008 constitution as worth no more than the paper that it is written on, as it has failed to guarantee equal rights while embedding the military power and its control. They believe the coup provides an opportunity to abolish the 2008 Constitution and create a new one guided by federal democratic principles.

While both movements call for an end to the coup, there is a difference in visions: majority Bamar protesters support NLD leaders, while ethnic minorities call for building a federal democratic union. Yet in a country with deep divisions across ethnic lines, initiatives such as the GSCN—the effort of representatives from different ethnic groups including the majority Bamar—offer the possibility of finding common ground in messaging and developing shared strategies for restoring democratic rule. Meanwhile protesters in Mandalay as well as ethnic states such as Kachin and Mon have begun to face a violence response by the police. As different as our interests and visions are, in the fight against dictatorship, we all need to be aligned. How can we work together to end the fear and pain we are living with every day?

New Mandala has verified the identity and credentials of the author and allowed anonymity due to the concerning and rapidly changing events in Myanmar.

[jenniferisacommonname]

Bonus Level Unlocked

This week marks the release of Jason Schreier’s Press Reset, an incredibly well-researched book on catastrophic business failure in the gaming industry. Jason’s a good dude, and there’s an excerpt here if you want to check it out. Sadly, game companies going belly-up is such a common occurrence that he couldn’t possibly include them all, and one of the stories left out due to space constraints is one that I happen to be personally familiar with. So, I figured I’d tell it here.

I began working at Acclaim Studios Austin as a sound designer in January of 2000. It was a tumultuous period for the company, including a recent rebranding from their former studio name, “Iguana Entertainment,” and a related, ongoing lawsuit from the ex-founder of Iguana. There were a fair number of ghosts hanging around—the creative director’s license plate read IGUANA, which he never changed, and one of the meeting rooms held a large, empty terrarium—but the studio had actually been owned on paper by Acclaim since 1995, and I didn’t notice any conflicting loyalties. Everyone acted as if we always had been, and always would be, Acclaim employees.

Over the next few years I worked on a respectable array of triple-A titles, including Quarterback Club 2002, Turok: Evolution, and All-Star Baseball 2002 through 2005. (Should it be “All-Stars Baseball,” like attorneys general? Or perhaps a term of venery, like “a zodiac of All-Star Baseball.”) At any rate, it was a fun place to work, and a platformer of hijinks ensued.

But let’s skip to the cutscene. The truth is that none of us in the trenches suspected the end was near until it was absolutely imminent. Yes, Turok: Evolution and Vexx had underperformed, especially when stacked against the cost of development, but games flop in the retail market all the time. And, yes, Showdown: Legends of Wrestling had been hustled out the door before it was ready for reasons no one would explain, and the New York studio’s release of a BMX game featuring unlockable live-action stripper footage had been an incredibly weird marketing ploy for what should have been a straightforward racing title. (Other desperate gimmicks around this time included a £6,000 prize for UK parents who would name their baby “Turok,” an offer to pay off speeding tickets to promote Burnout 2 that quickly proved illegal, and an attempt to buy advertising space on actual tombstones for a Shadow Man sequel.)

But the baseball franchise was an annual moneymaker, and our studio had teams well into development on two major new licenses, 100 Bullets and The Red Star. Enthusiasm was on the upswing. Perhaps I should have paid closer attention when voice actors started calling me to complain that they hadn’t been paid, but at the time it seemed more like a bureaucratic failure than an actual money shortage—and frankly, it was a little naïve of them to expect net-30 in the first place. Industry standard was, like, net-90 at best. So I was told.

Then one Friday afternoon, a few department managers got word that we’d kind of maybe been skipping out on the building lease for let’s-not-admit-how-many months. By Monday morning, everyone’s key cards had been deactivated.

It's a little odd to arrive at work and find a hundred-plus people milling around outside—even odder, I suppose, if your company is not the one being evicted. Acclaim folks mostly just rolled their eyes and debated whether to cut our losses and head to lunch now, while employees of other companies would look dumbfounded and fearful before being encouraged to push their way through the crowd and demonstrate their still-valid key card to the security guard. Finally, the General Manager (hired only a few months earlier, and with a hefty relocation bonus to accommodate his houseboat) announced that we should go home for the day and await news. Several of our coworkers were veterans of the layoff process—like I said, game companies go under a lot—and one of them had already created a Yahoo group to communicate with each other on the assumption that we’d lose access to our work email. A whisper of “get on the VPN and download while you can” rippled through the crowd.

But the real shift in tone came after someone asked about a quick trip inside for personal items, and the answer was a hard, universal “no.” We may have been too busy or ignorant to glance up at any wall-writing, but the building management had not been: they were anticipating a full bankruptcy of the entire company. In that situation, all creditors have equal standing to divide up a company's assets in lengthy court battles, and most get a fraction of what they’re owed. But if the landlords had seized our office contents in lieu of rent before the bankruptcy was declared, they reasoned, then a judge might rule that they had gotten to the treasure chest first, and could lay claim to everything inside as separate from the upcoming asset liquidation.

Ultimately, their gambit failed, but the ruling took a month to settle. In the meantime, knick knacks gathered dust, delivered packages piled up, food rotted on desks, and fish tanks became graveyards. Despite raucous protest from every angle—the office pets alone generated numerous threats of animal cruelty charges—only one employee managed to get in during this time, and only under police escort. He was a British citizen on a work visa, and his paperwork happened to be sitting on his desk, due to expire. Without it, he was facing literal deportation. Fortunately, a uniformed officer took his side (or perhaps just pre-responded to what was clearly a misdemeanor assault in ovo,) and after some tense discussion, the building manager relented, on the condition that the employee touch absolutely nothing beyond the paperwork in question. The forms could go, but the photos of his children would remain.

It’s also a little odd, by the way, to arrive at the unemployment office and find every plastic chair occupied by someone you know. Even odder, I suppose, if you’re actually a former employee of Acclaim Studios Salt Lake, which had shut down only a month or two earlier, and you just uprooted your wife and kids to a whole new city on the assurance that you were one of the lucky ones who got to stay employed. Some of them hadn’t even finished unpacking.

Eventually, we were allowed to enter the old office building one at a time and box up our things under the watchful eye of a court appointee, but by then our list of grievances made the landlords’ ploy seem almost quaint by comparison (except for the animals, which remains un-fucking-forgivable.) We had learned, for example, that in the weeks prior to the bankruptcy, our primary lender had made an offer of $15 million—enough to keep us solvent through our next batch of releases, two of which had already exited playtesting and were ready to be burned and shipped. The only catch was that the head of the board, company founder Greg Fischbach, would have to step down. This was apparently too much of an insult for him to stomach, and he decided that he'd rather see everything burn to the ground. The loan was refused.

Other “way worse than we thought” details included gratuitous self-dealing to vendors owned by board members, the disappearance of expensive art from the New York offices just before closure, and the theft of our last two paychecks. For UK employees, it was even more appalling: Acclaim had, for who knows how long, been withdrawing money from UK paychecks for their government-required pension funds, but never actually putting the money into the retirement accounts. They had stolen tens of thousands of dollars directly from each worker.

Though I generally reside somewhere between mellow and complete doormat on the emotional spectrum, I did get riled enough to send out one bitter email—not to anyone in corporate, but to the creators of a popular webcomic called Penny Arcade, who, in the wake of Acclaim’s bankruptcy announcement, published a milquetoast jibe about Midway’s upcoming Area 51. I told Jerry (a.k.a. “Tycho”) that I was frankly disappointed in their lack of cruelty, and aired as much dirty laundry as I was privy to at the time.

“Surely you can find a comedic gem hidden somewhere in all of this!” I wrote. “Our inevitable mocking on PA has been a small light at the end of a very dark, very long tunnel. Please at least allow us the dignity of having a smile on our faces while we wait in line for food stamps.”

Two days later, a suitably grim comic did appear, implying the existence of a new release from Acclaim whose objective was to run your game company into the ground. In the accompanying news post, Tycho wrote:

“We couldn’t let the Acclaim bankruptcy go without comment, though we initially let it slide thinking about the ordinary gamers who lost their jobs there. They don’t have anything to do with Acclaim’s malevolent Public Relations mongrels, and it wasn’t they who hatched the Titty Bike genre either. Then, we remembered that we have absolutely zero social conscience and love to say mean things.”

Another odd experience, by the way, is digging up a 16-year-old complaint to a webcomic creator for nostalgic reference when you offer that same creator a promotional copy of the gaming memoir you just co-wrote with Sid Meier. Even odder, I suppose, to realize that the original non-Acclaim comic had been about Area 51, which you actually were hired to work on yourself soon after the Acclaim debacle.*

As is often the case in complex bankruptcies, the asset liquidation took another six years to fully stagger its way through court—but in 2010, we did, surprisingly, get the ancient paychecks we were owed, plus an extra $1,700-ish for the company’s apparent violation of the WARN Act. By then, I had two kids and a very different life, for which the money was admittedly helpful. Sadly, Acclaim’s implosion probably isn’t even the most egregious one on record. Our sins were, to my knowledge, all money-related, and at least no one was ever sexually assaulted in our office building. Again, to my knowledge. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure we remain the only historical incident of corporate pet murder. The iguana got out just in time.

*Area 51’s main character was voiced by David Duchovny, and he actually got paid—which was lucky for him, because three years later, Midway also declared bankruptcy.

[uomo-accattivante]

Several people have asked me about the Juilliard classmate who co-starred with Oscar in the school’s production of Chekhov’s Three Sisters. Her name was Sarah Fox, and she was destined to become a star, in her own right, before sadly becoming a victim of a still-unsolved homicide in May, 2004. 

The following is a quote about Oscar’s statement to the New York Times and the article it originated from:

“Oscar Isaac, a fellow third-year drama student, said Ms. Fox was known for her constellation of hugs. The one reserved exclusively for Mr. Isaac would require each of them to tickle each other's backs while embracing.”

(📷: Serena Reeder)

Her story has much of the familiar ring of the young aspirant's tale. She was a radiant young woman with a repertoire of special hugs, imbued with talent and brimming with hope. From the far reaches of New Jersey, she came to study at one of New York's fabled cultural institutions and to wonder if one day destiny might find her. People took notice. She glowed.

Sarah Fox's story ended when her badly decomposed body was found on Tuesday by a volunteer search party in the thickets near a jogging path in Inwood Hill Park in northern Manhattan. Positive identification was made yesterday, law enforcement authorities said, after her mother presented dental records to the medical examiner's office.

The police said that she had been strangled, though they were uncertain whether by hand or by another method, and they could not determine if she had been sexually assaulted. The bizarre placement of petals and branches from a tulip tree around the body raised the question that the killing may have had a ritualistic element. The police said they were without suspects but were casting a wide net.

Ms. Fox was 21, 5 feet 2 inches tall, with blue eyes and strawberry blond hair that she wore short on the sides and spiked on top. She was a student in the drama department at the Juilliard School, the performing arts conservatory at Lincoln Center. The rarefied air of its sleekly modern buildings have produced a long list of hallowed names including Miles Davis, Philip Glass, Yo-Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman, Nina Simone and Robin Williams.

Ms. Fox was starry-eyed with her own high aspirations for a stage career. She drew a favorable response for her versatility, just as convincingly playing the conniving Natasha in Chekhov's ''Three Sisters'' as she did a bird in the Aristophanes play ''The Birds.'' A fellow drama student at Juilliard remarked on how ''brave, open, accomplished'' she was as an actress.

Recently, though, she had taken a leave from the school. Her relatives said she had found Juilliard very demanding and simply needed a brief interlude to replenish herself. She intended to resume her studies in the fall as a third-year student.

The abrupt and jarring end to her life left Juilliard bewildered. The discovery equally stunned the city itself. Though Ms. Fox's movements in the hours leading to her death remain unclear, it appears that a young woman went out to jog well before dusk, in a park where children played and people walked their dogs, only to encounter a murderer that no one saw.

For an hour and a half yesterday morning, members of the Juilliard drama department gathered to collectively address her death. This took place in Room 304, a classroom that has become something of a designated grieving room. In recent years, similar grim assemblages occurred. Several years ago, another third-year drama student was found dead and the room filled up. It did again last year when a student's sister was murdered. It was the same place where students gathered after Sept. 11.

In the room that one student characterized as ''an emotional vortex,'' more than 150 people mourned Sarah Fox, an astonishing number given that classes had ended for the academic year a week ago and many students had dispersed. A second-year drama student who attended the session said the event was ''uplifting'' even though virtually everyone was in tears. Ms. Fox's boyfriend, a Juilliard drama graduate, was among those who spoke.

Later in the day, about 70 students and faculty members returned to campus for a half-hour memorial service in one of the dance studios. Filing out of the building, Jane Cho, 31, a former piano student and now a career counselor at Juilliard, said, ''It was dark and a lot of people were crying.''

Joseph W. Polisi, Juilliard's president, issued a statement saying: ''She reached out eloquently to others through her exceptional ability as an actress. Her senseless loss leaves us all feeling a profound sorrow.''

Ms. Fox grew up in a family of modest means in Pennsauken, in southern New Jersey. She had an older sister, Samantha. Her father, a car mechanic, died of cancer 10 years ago, and her mother sometimes held two jobs to raise the two girls. She currently lives in Gibbstown, N.J., and is a manager for a mortgage company.

Ms. Fox caught the acting bug as a girl and filled her summers performing in shows. She also developed a strong interest in music, and she liked to jog to keep fit.

In an interview with The Courier-Post of New Jersey before her daughter's body was found, Lorraine Fox recounted how she had impressed on Sarah the dangers of the world. When Sarah was little, they played a game called ''What If?'' Her mother would ask a question like, ''What if a stranger came up and asked you to help find a dog?''

Ms. Fox would learn the answers, which were always, ''No.''

During high school, she was a member of the first class of the Southern New Jersey Academy of the Performing Arts, a division of the Gloucester County Institute of Technology in Sewell. Eileen Shute, a spokeswoman for the school, said Ms. Fox was an A student and a ''quality young lady.''

According to the school's yearbook, she belonged to the fine arts club and the thespian society and had leading parts in a number of major productions, including Rosalind in Shakespeare's early romantic comedy ''As You Like It.'' Classmates were amused when she and her date once showed up at a dance dressed as Sonny and Cher.

At the back of her 2001 yearbook, she is pictured in the front row of her graduating class. The headline over the photo reads: ''The perfect end to a beautiful beginning''

Her talent gained her admission with a full scholarship to Juilliard in the fall of 2001, where she seemed to have become well-liked and admired by students and teachers.

Several classmates said she had a knack for knowing when other people needed a jolt of confidence. When one student assumed that no one had remembered his birthday, Ms. Fox put up on a drama department message board a brown paper bag on which she had scribbled, ''We haven't forgotten, Happy Birthday.'' Another time, she cheered up a student having trouble mastering his character in a play by leaving a note on a blackboard that said: ''Don't beat yourself up. You're immensely talented.''

It was her abilities on the stage as much as her robust personality that attracted attention. A number of students praised her leading performance in last year's production of Brecht's ''Caucasian Chalk Circle.'' ''She was 19 years old and was not a parent, but she played the mother so convincingly,'' said one recent graduate. ''It made you wonder where someone could get that sort of poise and wisdom.''

When she played a bird in ''The Birds,'' many who saw the performance said they thought it was enlightened casting. ''She was so light-spirited and in touch with her animal instincts,'' said Jess Weixler, another recent graduate.

Her family felt certain of her future. ''I have no doubt that we would have seen her name in lights one day on Broadway,'' said an uncle, Isaac Porter.

Oscar Isaac, a fellow third-year drama student, said Ms. Fox was known for her constellation of hugs. The one reserved exclusively for Mr. Isaac would require each of them to tickle each other's backs while embracing.

Ms. Fox shared an apartment in the Inwood section not far from where her body was found. It was in a five-story walkup building in a neighborhood whose relatively low rents have drawn an influx of younger people embarked on careers in the arts.

Her roommate reported her missing last Thursday. The last time her roommate saw her was at 5 p.m. the previous day. Wearing workout clothes and carrying a compact disc player, Ms. Fox was apparently on her way to her gym or to jog.

The police sent officers, helicopters and dogs to root through the thickly forested parks of Inwood. News of her disappearance galvanized her friends and family to do what they could. They tacked up hundreds of posters bearing her photograph. To further assist, Mr. Porter, an electrician from Millville, N.J., assembled a volunteer search party, composed largely of people from South Jersey, to fan out through Inwood Hill Park. The police had been there. But the family sensed that if anything had happened to Sarah Fox, it had happened there.

Early Tuesday afternoon, members of the search party sifted through a tangled area near a jogging path and found what they had hoped they wouldn't find. They found the end of Sarah Fox's story.

###

[yourwannabekpopidol]

Project 15

Apprenticeship Program Name: Radio Campbuzz Project Name: RJ for Rangdhonu and script writer for shows Program Date: Fall 2017 – Fall 2018 Program Description: I joined this program when Kashfia Ma’am was the advisor for the program. She assigned me to a RJ position for a weekly show called, “Rangdhonu”. And I had to write the script for the show as well. What I had to do was be a host for the show and the show is about pop culture and entertainment. So we had to talk about any new update on Hollywood and Bollywood. Program Justification: What the show provided was to let the students know about any pop culture and to let them enjoy some entertainment before going back to class. There were other shows but this show made me realize how fun it is to be a RJ. Due to this show, I was even awarded the best RJ in Radio Campbuzz of Spring 2018. Program Name: Rangdhonu. Program Time: Every Wednesday from 12 pm to 1 pm.

Picture 1: This is me before the show of Rangdhonu at the station.

Picture 2: This is the poster that declared that Nabeela apu and I were the host of the show, Rangdhonu, on social media.

Picture 3: This was the award and the certificate of me winning the best RJ.

Script for the 5th Rangdhonu show: Written by: Wangkhem Thonglen

Link 1

Sonam Kapoor ties the knot! Celebrity marriages are always the talk of the town, especially when it is the much-awaited wedding of one of Bollywood's most beloved stars, Sonam Kapoor. In an event of grand celebrations, Sonam Kapoor has finally tied the knot last Tuesday, May 8, with her long-time boyfriend Anand Ahuja. For those who don't know, Anand Ahuja is a businessman who has founded his own fashion brand named Bhane. His Delhi-based business has made him quite successful despite his young age, and fans know him well for always being addressed fondly in Sonam's online posts. The couple is active on social media, and has never failed to win hearts through their messages of adoration and love. Radio Cambuzz wishes the couple a happy conjugal life!

SaRa May 12 marked the grand opening of SaRa's first showroom in Mirpur. The fashion house made a huge statement with endorsements from stars like Sara Zaker, Oyshee, Shahtaj, Pritom, Xefer, Azim, Doyel and many others. They were present during the opening, along with the owner S.M Khaled.

RABINDRA FESTIVALS AROUND THE COUNTRY The celebration of 157th birth anniversary of Tagore in Shilpakala Academy, Dhaka. Artistes performed in a programme by Jayita Rabindra Sangeet Shomillon Porishod in Mymensingh. Artistes did a cultural show in Rabindra Mela, Channel i premises, Dhaka. Artistes from Bangladesh and India performed in Rabindra Festival in Shelaidah Kuthibari, Kushtia. Also Sirajganj.

30 years of BAMBA - More than just bands After a break of almost four years, Bangladesh Musical Bands Association, better known as BAMBA, recently arranged a mega concert, 'BAMBA Live Chapter 1', in Dhaka. The turnout was huge, with the spacious hall room of the International Convention Centre, Bashundhara, filled to the brim with fans eager to get a glimpse of their favorite bands and listen to their all-time hits. 11 of the 27 bands under the umbrella of BAMBA, including Warfaze, Miles, Shunno, Aurthohin, Nemesis, Vikings, Feedback, Dalchhut, Maq O' Dhaka, Pentagon and Arbovirus performed at the concert. Star Showbiz recently invited BAMBA to participate at a roundtable discussion at The Daily Star Centre. Hamin Ahmed, President of BAMBA; Sheikh Monirul Alam Tipu, General Secretary; Fuad Naser Babu, Vice President; Maqsoodul Haque (Mac), Executive Committee Member; Mohammad Ali Shumon, Treasurer; and Doza Alan, CEO, SkyTracker Limited, took part in the roundtable discussion. It was facilitated by Star Showbiz Editor Rafi Hossain. The discussion focused on BAMBA's current activities and the way forward in the face of the challenges confronting our music industry.

Link 2

Zoe Saldana on the Hollywood Walk of Fame After smashing success as the alien warrior Gamora in the Guardians of the Galaxy films and more recently, Avengers: Infinity War, Zoe Saldana is on a path to eternal stardom, literally. She joins the likes of Marilyn Monroe, Charlie Chaplin and her co-actor Chris Pratt, by receiving her very own star in the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Zoe Saldana took to Instagram to express her gratitude, saying she is blessed and honored to be a part of the history of Hollywood. “May this open more doors for Latinx and all other under-represented community!” she further stated. Zoe Saldana has also appeared in James Cameron's 2009 film Avatar and the recent Star Trek trilogy. Being a constant presence in blockbuster sci-fi and fantasy films, Zoe Saldana is expected to become a top name in this specific genre quite soon. 2018 71st Cannes Film Festival From Tuesday May 8th til Saturday May 19th. Australian actress Cate Blanchett has been named as the President of the Jury. Asghar Farhadi's psychological thriller Everybody Knows, starring Javier Bardem, Penélope Cruz and Ricardo Darín, opened the festival and competes in the Main Competition section The Han Solo spinoff Solo: A Star Wars Story touched down Tuesday at the Cannes Film Festival, bringing its cast and a full-sized Chewbacca to the French Riviera extravaganza. Director Ron Howard, wearing a hat that read “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away,” introduced his cast before the film’s international premiere at Cannes. Sonam Kapoor wows at the red carpet of Cannes Film Festival 2018. Bollywood superstar Aishwarya Rai Bachchan once again stole the show as she walked the prestigious red carpet at the Cannes Film Festival, this time in a stunning ultra-violet, blue and red gown that reflected the metamorphosis of a butterfly. History was made at this year's 71st  Cannes Film Festival on Saturday as 82 women, representing the limited number of women filmmakers selected over its more than seven-decade history, made a symbolic walk up the red carpet. The stars, filmmakers and other professionals ascended the steps of the Palais des Festivals at the Cannes Film Festival, protesting for the solidarity of the women in the industry who are struggling for a voice, equal pay, as well as a safer work place. The five female members of this year's Cannes jury-- Cate Blanchett, Kristen Stewart, Ava DuVernay, Lea Seydoux and Burundian singer Khadja Nin, along with Jane Fonda, Salma Hayek and Marion Cotillard were among the group of women.

Link 3 Mim Mantasha Superstar in the making Winning the country's biggest pageant is not an ordinary feat. Mim Mantasha has won not just a crown, but also the hearts of millions. Awaiting a new journey, the Lux Channel i Superstar 2018 winner shares her story with The Daily Star. A final year student of Fine Arts at Jahangirnagar University, Mim has always been a creative and curious soul. She was an avid follower of the contest for a long time. This year, she finally took the decision to compete. Taking part in the competition was certainly not a cakewalk. “We went through vigorous training sessions. We did yoga in the mornings,” explains Mim.  Before the task rounds, the contestants went through fifteen days of training for ramp walk, acting, dancing, and many other skills. The photo shoots, acting, and improvisation rounds were Mim's favourite tasks in the competition. “I was nervous but in a scene, I got to convince people through my acting that my child was lost. I enjoyed it,” Mim smiles, adding that the competition was an overall memorable experience. Although she is highly enthusiastic about working in the media, she wants to take more preparations before doing so. She is now Lux Bangladesh's brand ambassador and has also won the opportunity to work on television and feature film projects of Impress Telefilm. Before hitting the silver screen, Mim wants to explore the world of television. Being a painter at heart, Mim also wants to continue painting and have her own exhibition in the future. Further to this, she intends to work for children who need special care. “I am in a fortunate position and it is our duty to take care of those in need.” says Mim. With great intentions, we hope Mim Mantasha excels at every step of her future endevours.

Link 4

Avengers Infinity War Review The plot itself is pretty simple. There are six stones that possess mystic powers and he/she who possesses all the stones is by default the most powerful being in the universe. Our Marvel superheroes must forget their own conflicts and join forces against Thanos to restore the fate of the universe and its inhabitants. Of course, watch the movie to know how things pan out. Avengers: Infinity War is the movie of movies, and let me tell you why. Most, if not all, the characters of the MCU are present in this film and bring their own flavour into the mix. Thor is mourning the loss of his home and hammer, Stark feels he needs to take a break from saving the world, Captain America is still out to bring justice the right way, and Hulk has no control over himself. I don't know what formula the Russo brothers have applied in their direction but I watched in awe how all the characters blended to deliver multiple storylines within a movie. Yes, I have also compared this movie to a mega three-hour episode of your daily soap opera. Avengers: Infinity War is the comprehensive Marvel movie; it is the beginning of an end. It lifts you, it hits you, and leaves you with a cliffhanger extraordinaire. See it to believe it and it'll still be unbelievable. By next weekend, Infinity War will top $1.78 billion and could sit around $1.8 billion, ensuring Marvel's year-to-date tally exceeds $3.1 billion by next Sunday.

Deadpool 2 Marketing Right off the bat, you see how Deadpool has scratched out the 20th Century Fox logo and put “TBD,” which is a sly allusion to the ongoing Disney/Fox (and Comcast?) merger drama. The content of the letter is exactly what you might expect from the Merc with a Mouth. Pop culture references, silly puns, bad language, and Ryan Reynolds bashing. Then, at the bottom, instead of the #ThanosDemandsYourSilence, we get #WadeWilsonDemandsYourSisterSorryStupidAutoCorrectSilence. See, you guys, it’s funny! And not at all trying too hard. Kidding aside, the marketing for “Deadpool 2” has been pretty top notch, but perhaps not as great as the first film. Recently, the film premiered a music video for the soundtrack featuring Celine Dion singing an over-the-top ballad while a high-heel-wearing Deadpool does an interpretive dance around the diva. It’s ridiculous and fun. And also, the most recent trailer seems to have struck a chord with fans, who are coming down off their ‘Infinity War’ high.

Link 5

Top 10 Hollywood Box Office Weekend 1. Avengers: Infinity War - $62,078,047 (Total Grossing – $548,090,150) 2. Life of the Party - $17,886,075 (New) 3. Breaking In - $17,630,285 (New) 4. Overboard - $9,864,415 5. A Quiet Place - $6,455,396 (Total Grossing - $169,608,030) 6. I Feel Pretty - $3,805,437 7. Rampage - $3,462,442 (Total Grossing - $89,827,105) 8. Tully - $2,248,945 9. Black Panther -  $2,077,207 (Total Grossing - $696,331,818) 10. RBG - $1,188,186

Billboard’s top 10 Hits 1. This Is America – Childish Gambino (New) 2. Nice For What – Drake (Last Week: 1) 3. God’s Plan – Drake 4. Psycho – Post Malone Featuring Ty Dolla $ign (Last Week: 2) 5. Meant To Be – Bebe Rexha & Florida Georgia Line 6. The Middle – Zedd, Maren Morris & Grey 7. Look Alive – BlocBoy JB Featuring Drake 8. Never Be The Same – Camila Cabello 9. Perfect – Ed Sheeran (Last Week: 12) 10. No Tears Left To Cry – Ariana Grande Learning and reflections: This program made me realize the inner potential I had to be so extrovert and be a good host. I learned what to do or say after getting stuck during a live session. I have improved my speaking skills and the flow of a RJ host on how to talk and say because they have a different tone when it comes to a live session. I have taken all these skills from this program and I even got selected and did a short commercial video for Spice FM Radio. I also learned how to write a script for a radio show.

[daprec]

BJJ Floating Mat System DIY Walkthrough

I’m going to share the process of building a floating mat system, from design to sourcing materials and build. I figured I try to take out as much guess work since I had no guidance and had to learn on my own. There were several pieces of the puzzle that came as some small surprises, but hopefully this helps the next person who decided to make the leap to a better mat system. I’m unsure of the process for other countries, but in my case I will detail the process for importing goods into New Zealand – it may differ in other places. I’ll include links to the factory for all the specific mats I ordered in the post.

Towards the end of Sept 2020, just after the Covid-19 lockdown ended in New Zealand, I had an opportunity to expand my BJJ club and sub-lease space in our existing gym we ran out of. I had an elaborate vision of a floating mat system underneath some juicy dollamur mats for use to train in.

I was introduced to the floating mat system years ago when I lived in Los Angeles on a visit to Kron Gracie’s academy in Culver City. I had worked down the street and wanted to congratulate him and have a look around. My friend Ollie Barre worked there and he showed me around, even Kron said hello and mentioned the spring loaded floating mat system to me.

It was about 1/2 a meter high with actual springs under the floor with plywood on top and tatame on top of the ply. It was amazing!

Image courtesy of Kron Gracie Academy Linkedin page

I knew that’s what I wanted but I didn’t have the budget for springs, so I explored other options. After a few searches I came across a couple videos:

How to build the ultimate spring subfloor for your Judo, Jujitsu and Wrestling mats

&

How to build a Bjj subfloor

Foam and ply – sweet I can do that! Let’s measure the space:

9.7m x 4m – pretty decent space!

After the measurement I needed to visualize the build. I knew I had to see it and make something for others to see the vision I had, so I modeled everything out in Maya and made a 3D render:

Concept render

I used real world units to keep everything to spec, that means the units I use in the 3D application are accurate to and equal to the units I would use on the actual build. The sub-floor would be the most difficult thing to explain to a builder, so I did a couple renders of what the underbelly would look like:

14 sheets of plywood with sub-floor foam block layout

Single sheet plywood foam block layout

I began compiling a list of materials I would need:

15 sheets of 2440mm x 1200mm x 12mm non-structural plywood

6 sheets of closed cell polyethylene foam

tons of liquid nail

timber for boxing in – unsure of spec at that time

5cm thick floor mats, tatame finish

21 wall mats @ 183cm x 122cm x 5cm

Living in New Zealand is awesome BUT sourcing some of these materials was going to be difficult and super expensive. I started calling around and emailing different foam companies and dollamur reps. I was getting quotes just for the dollamur mats of $5-6k NZD alone! I found a company that imports foam and was quoted $500/sheet of PE foam! I didn’t even bother looking at the wall mats – it would have cost me closer to 10K to get everything from NZ companies, so I decided to cut out the middle man and source materials myself.

Of course this lead me to Alibaba.com – the Chinese based website that gives people like myself access to factories where these things are typically made. After a few days of searching and multiple emails, I found a factory – Quindao Sanhong Plastic Co, LTD – that appeared to manufacture everything I needed – floor mats, wall mats and PE foam sheets.

It was my 1st time using Alibaba and to be honest I was SUPER dubious. I would be dealing with people outside of the country I lived in which carries a larger sense of the unknown.

I ended up chatting with a service person named Emily. She was incredibly helpful and thorough and made sure she understood what I required. I sent her an absurd amount of photos, videos, all of my renderings of what I had in mind, the measurements and other specs. She talked me into getting a more dense mat (40kg/cbm – a new unit of measurement I was completely unfamiliar with) for both the floor mats and sub-floor mats.

Originally I intended to have that pool noodle type foam, but Emily urged me not to go that route and go for something thicker – the cost was negligible so I went for it. Trusting someone you’ve never met overseas was hard, but I figured I needed to roll the dice.

The floor mat specs I went with were 3 rolls of 9.7m x 1.33m x 5cm with a tatame finish

Link to mats here

Floor mats

Next were the wall mats. I needed 21 wall mats @ 183cm x 122cm x 5cm Link to mats here

Wall mats

Next was the closed cell sub-floor PE foam. Quindao made 2m x 1m sheets of this stuff, and I needed 6 sheets total to accommodate my space. These were roughly $40USD / sheet so if I got it wrong I figured it wouldn’t be TOO much of a loss. Link to foam sheets here

This is the pool noodle foam I was expecting, but not what I ended up receiving

Emily was very patient and understand of my reservations in dealing with an overseas factory. After a few more emails and messages I pulled the trigger and made the order. At this stage Emily walked me through the process and gave me a general idea of several unknown import costs. Her estimate on the NZ import tax was very close, but she did inform me there would be other costs she had no way of providing an estimate for.

I forgot to mention that a couple months prior to ordering I had already setup a legit business in anticipation of building my dream in the future. Emily had requested an NZ Import ID so fortunately I was already qualified to apply for a NZ business import ID through NZ Customs. This cost me about $200 to register my business and get an import ID.

After providing all of my information, she came back with a total cost and import tax estimate I would pay on arrival. Freight costs from China to NZ were SUPER cheap – about $80NZD to ship 700kg worth of stuff, so that was fine.

I paid the deposit so the manufacturing could get under way. Once they were finished making all of the mats/materials I would then pay in full prior to loading onto the ship. It took them about 4 weeks to finish everything. At that time there was one final check through that they had all of my correct information and import ID and that was that. The order started on 11/02/2020 and was shipped on 12/08/2020

Because of Covid, there were huge delays with international shipping and unloading, so the wait time was longer than usual. It was supposed to take 40 days but ended up being much longer than that. The mats arrived in NZ the 1st week of February 2021 – phew at least they made it safe!

This is where a lot of the surprises and unknowns came into play. I received an email from some guy at a freight company saying my mats had arrived and I needed to send all of the arrival documents to my broker

Evidently I had to obtain an import broker to forward all of the documents to, which no one makes any mention of. But here’s where things get a little…rackety. I ended up going with EasyFreight brokers who charged me about $200 for their services. They emailed documents from NZ Customs where I then had to pay around $500NZD for the Import Tax.

Once the Import Tax was paid, my mats could then be released BUT…the mysterious freight company who initially emailed me now says I need to pay them $1900NZD before they ship my mats to Wellington. This fee was for unloading the mats from the ship and onto the dock and storing them in a warehouse until all of the documents cleared. This almost doubled the cost of the mats I ordered and by now the total cost was getting close to what I was getting quotes from NZ based companies.

I paid the invoice and they put my mats onto a truck to be shipped down to Wellington to ANOTHER freight company – not directly to me for whatever dumb reason. I contacted the new freight company, had a bit of confusion and back and forth but eventually I ended up having to pay them another $250NZD to ship my mats to the gym. What a racketeering outfit huh?

They delivered the mats and I immediately started ripping up the packaging to have a look at my new goods. I have to say that what I purchased exceeded my expectations. The floor mats where BETTER than what I expected, the wall mats were BETTER than what I anticipated and the sub-floor foam ended up being more closer to memory foam than pool noodle foam. Holy hell we’re gonna have some sweet mats to roll on!

To the build!

After a trip to Bunnings to pickup timber, liquid nail and a few other things, that tallied up to over $1000NZD we were on our way.

The 1st order of business was to cut the foam sheets into blocks. I had originally calculated 7cm x 10cm x 10 cm but when we laid everything out, we’d only be using 2 sheets of foam and would have had to cut relatively tiny blocks. So instead we went with 20cm x 20cm x 10cm blocks – much easier to cut and deal with and even then we had a ton left over (which we made use of by the end of it.

Foam blocks

I worked out the numbers and we did 3 x 5 rows of blocks per plywood sheet

1st row of 8 pieces of 2440mm x 1200mm x 12mm plywood with 15 foam blocks liquid nailed to ply

We had all of the blocks glued to the ply and realized we had HEAPS left over, so we decided to re-jig some things around and use the extra blocks in the spaces inbetween sheets of ply on the seams and corners. This ended up adding an extra level of stability between the ply and would be less likely to damage the mats on top.

Using extra blocks underneath ply seams

Once all the plywood was laid out and the liquid nail given a bit of time to cure, we had to then box everything in to prevent sliding. This required a concrete drill/concrete bit, about 10 dynabolts (basically concrete bolts with anchors), some timber 2 x 4s, more liquid nail and a bit of good old fashioned elbow grease.

We made a mess!

The guys marked where the holes needed to be drilled roughly 1 1/2 meters apart. After the holes were drilled and swept, we laid down a very long 2×4 that was already predrilled with the initial concrete hole drilling. A dynabolt was hammered into the hole as far as it could, then racheted down with a socket wrench to tighten. The 1st piece of timber would be the foundation the other boxing in pieces would be anchored to.

The farside wall was crooked so that meant our sheets were slightly offset on the outside edge. As long as the surrounding box was square, the top layer mats would hide the crooked ply and we’d be fine.

Timber posts are rather expensive in NZ and usually crooked, so we ended up gluing and screwing 2 2×4 together so that 1. they cost less and 2. we could straighten them much easier.

Boxing in almost complete

To secure the 2x4s to the base we used nails and several Stud to Bottom galvanized fixings. We needed to make sure there would be absolutely no flex with the box.

To have a nicer finish, we added a thin layer of finger jointed pine on top of the 2x4s secured with finishing nails. The grain and look of it is much more eye pleasing than the sides of 2x4s and I can stain or paint it later.

Finishing touches on the sub-floor box

We left about a 3cm lip around the box so when the mats sit on top of the ply, the outer frame would contain and lock in the mats from sliding. The mats came very well packaged in three 1.3m x 9.7m x 5cm rolls

1 of 3 mat rolls

We placed extra ply against the walls to create a wedge/spacing for the wall mats. Upon rolling out the 1st roll we realized the wall was not straight…at all, but we made it work. 1st mat down!

The middle roll was relatively easy to to setup and the velcro attachment worked out perfectly.

That tatame finish texture is looking nice!

The final row did prove to be a bit more challenging but we eventually squeezed it into the remaining space. We can do math!!

After a full day of work we got the mats installed. We started at 11am, did a Bunnings run to collect tubes of liquid nail, screws, etc, got to the gym at around 12:30pm and finished just after 1am.

The following weekend we mounted the wall mats which were relatively straight forward. We ran 2 rows of 5m x 18mm pine planks along the wall, one at the top of the wall mats and one mid mat for support. I forgot to take pics but we basically created a support system and something to drill into instead of thick firewall jib.

We finished in the evening, cleaned up and of course we had a roll!

Some after thoughts

I can’t tell you how happy I am with this setup. Having an extra 10cm of foam under the sub floor has made a HUGE difference. It only took about 3 weeks to break in the harshness of new mats, and the tatame finish has been amazing. They aren’t slippery at all and are like heaven to roll on. One thing I would have done, which I most likely will do soon is to place 1 screw into each foam block under the sub floor.

What happens is the vibrations of people moving on the mats will cause the foam blocks to shift if they liquid nail didn’t stick. Not a big deal as we can simply lift the mats/play and move the foam, but that’s the only thing I would have done. Everything else worked out perfectly and I could not be more happy.

I hope this helps anyone who is interested in building something like this. There are a LOT of unknowns that go into importing goods from overseas, but I covered all of the “gotcha” moments along the way. Also I can with full confidence say that Quindao Plastics manufacture high spec and high quality mats/foam. They exceeded my expectations, so you can purchase with confidence. I knew nothing about them, only went by their Trade Assurance certification rating on Alibaba, but who the hell knows what that means? I’m thrilled I rolled the dice – they nailed it!

Reach out if you have any questions

Oss!

BJJ Floating Mat System DIY Walkthrough was originally published on davepreciado

[mountainwoman-universe]

Backpacking in the Pacific North West

“You've seen the sun flatten and take strange shapes before it sinks in the ocean. Do you have to tell yourself every time that it's an illusion caused by atmospheric dust and light distorted by the sea, or do you simply enjoy the beauty of it? -John Steinbeck

Backpackers in the Pacific North West are the kindest, and most helpful group of people I have ever met. They treat each other as an equal and the Earth with respect while sharing their fondest memories in the tranquil outdoors. I am going to walk you through why I think these backpackers are a fantastic group of people while I analyze who they are in their online community.

The backpacking community upholds values of respect towards others, constant communication, and helpfulness. They expect members of this community to be honest in their adventures and share the hardships along with the highlights of their trip and everything in between. This group values constant communication, responses to the replies they receive, and to share advice to others by commenting on their inquiries and interacting with each other. This is a close knit community that has continued to grow over the years, they are a wall balanced group with all ages and genders included. They trust one another and invite each other to embark on crazy missions throughout the year.

The backpacking community can be intrigued by all sorts of posts. Because this is such a large community, each person individually is swayed by a different rhetorical appeal such as Ethos, Pathos, Logos. The majority of my posts and the ones I have seen have played upon Ethos. My posts have historically asked for advice from the masters of their craft, If you ask, you shall receive in this group and I have drawn out those who are credible and have given me examples that I can trust what they say.

For example, I used this opportunity to gain some advice from these experts on what backpacks I should use just or short day adventures. My post was specific and detailed requesting what information I needed. [Claire Platt] “Hey Everyone! I’m looking for a nice pack for day hiking, my old Columbia pack ripped and I loved it, but thought I would try something new. Ideally it would have enough shoulder support and a waist strap. If anyone has any advice it will be much appreciated! Happy adventuring.” I received incredible responses from the community that included links to their packs and why they specifically liked them. 

User [travis stein] replied “I have a Fjällräven Kaipak 28 I’ve used for years and it still looks like the day I bought it and it is very comfortable.” Link to recommendation  

Another helpful user responded quickly with multiple recommendations, user Tammy Gillett replied, “Are you looking for a women’s specific? And structured or more relaxed? And what size? I had the older version of this Osprey for many years. Actually still have it. Nothing wrong with it. I started doing slightly smaller hikes and learned not to pack so much that I didn’t need to due to bad hips and prior to my two hip replacements. During that time I started carrying this REI flash 22 and love it. It’s pretty basic and unstructured but I’ve been enjoying not such a big structured pack for the shorter hikes. It holds all I need.”

 Link to recommendation .

REI.COM

Osprey Sirrus 24 Pack - Women's | REI Co-op

Link to recommendation 

REI.COM

REI Co-op Flash 22 Pack | REI Co-op

Ethos has been a great way to reach this knowledgeable community because they love talking about what they love and have found works for them. Its harder to reach this community without asking more informative questions, they don't respond well to pathos. Earlier in January I reached out to this community asking for advice on hiking the Pacific Crest Trail in the summer. I mostly wanted advice because it is a large chunk of hiking and I need to train and buy gear for this trip, But I was hoping to get real experience stories. The closest I got to this was a response from [Kim Adkins Spalding] “Following as this is a goal for me and my daughter upon high school graduation.”

Typically this group is full of laid back members who are as honest as possible in their posts, however, there are frequently posts that don't meet the Admins criteria. In October, administrator Matthew Howell posted, “| Posting Requirements | To help with any confusion of what's being asked when sharing your pics to the group, I've highlighted several of my own posts to show as examples. It's not about the exact location, or anything to do with geotagging. In fact, I've never once asked for pics to be geotagged. I just simply would like to know where in the Pacific Northwest your pictures were taken. #backpackinginthepacificnorthwest #postingrequirements #whereinthepacificnorthwest #statethestate.”

This post was created because of an abundance of people submitting posts which were vague about their locations. One of the requirements when joining this group on Facebook is to be as honest as possible, and always tag where your photos are taken. Members are usually good about it, but leaving a place undefined gives this community no insight to where it is to check it out themselves. Keeping things a mystery on Instagram is much different than keeping it secret from a community that is dedicated to exploring, and can be frustrating when users withhold that information.

Additional admin commented on this post, one being David Danskey, “Thanks Matt. I'm on a few other sites and it is not helpful to the group when someone posts a picture and says, "Name this Mountain" or "I'm not giving up my secret location". Those types of posts defeat the purpose of belonging to a group.

It's true that some locations suffer from overuse. That is also helpful information to the unaware reader to know if they choose to go there parking may be scarce and you'll be sharing the trail with a larger number of people.” 

 This group is dedicated to sharing their experiences with the world of backpacking. Matthew Howell created this group because he wanted people who were passionate about the outdoors whether it be day hiking, long trips, questions, concerns, or even humorous posts that would keep the community positive are welcomed. The idea behind this is to create a dedicated network that allows for people to feel comfortable and have an online support system within their network.

This community mostly sees photographs of those who have escaped the confines of their home and got outdoors, they see posts of what is going on around them in the way of events, backpacking places, best times of year to go etc. Though recently snow hit the Pacific Northwest and a humorous post from Matt Bromley captured attention from these packers. “When you have snow in Portland and just have to check how your gear works at 25.”

Bromley took advantage of the rarity of snow in Portland and put his gear to the test. This post hit the community by storm (pun intended) and gave backpackers in this area the same idea, to test out their gear for a cold night.

After all my posting in this community I found that posts that are asking for advice always received an abundance of it. This community has been so helpful in preparation of an adventure, it is honestly amazing how much they care about other people sharing the community. It has been great to see posts of beautiful pictures receiving comments and likes while also seeing people getting involved in the planning process of other people's trips.

Posting on facebook grabs this community's attention better than any other platform. I have found that this is a group of people in different backgrounds such as economic status, gender, age, and experience level. On facebook, interaction is a high and are always very organized. People comment on posts and create their own threads to comment on. The conversations are always respectful, and disagreements are handled in mature ways. Most negative comments are erased by the admin and people are very good about reporting people who are bringing the group down. 

This group is wealthy in knowledge, when I ask for recommendations on equipment I get large ranges of cheap to expensive yet, no matter the financial burden of getting supplies, getting outside nature is free, and getting recommendations of these beautiful places is unmatched from anyone else. This group is a great group to join if you are considering backpacking as a pastime in the future, whether you're green at this adventurous lifestyle or matured, they would be happy to have you and learn from the experiences you have created for yourself. Backpacking in the Pacific Northwest is open to everyone, happy adventuring, and don't forget sunscreen.

Cited

Platt, Claire. Looking for Backpack. Facebook, 2 Feb 2021, 1:44pm, https://www.facebook.com/groups/backpackinginthepacificnorthwest/. 14 Feb 2021 

Stein, Travis. reply. Facebook, Facebook, 2 Feb 2021, https://www.facebook.com/groups/backpackinginthepacificnorthwest/. 14 Feb 2021 .

Gillette, Tammy. Backpack reply. Facebook,Facebook, 2 Feb 2021, https://www.facebook.com/groups/backpackinginthepacificnorthwest/. 14 Feb 2021 

Spalding, Kim Adkins. reply. Facebook, 26 january 2021, 9:00am, https://www.facebook.com/groups/backpackinginthepacificnorthwest/. 14 Feb 2021 

Howell, Matthew. Post Requirements. Facebook, 8 October 2020, https://www.facebook.com/groups/backpackinginthepacificnorthwest/. 14 Feb 2021 

Dansley, David. Post Requirements reply. Facebook, 8 October 2020, https://www.facebook.com/groups/backpackinginthepacificnorthwest/. 14 Feb 2021 

Bromley, Matt. Advantage of snow day. Facebook, 12 February 2021, 9pm https://www.facebook.com/groups/backpackinginthepacificnorthwest/. 14 Feb 2021 

[kimarchive]

“keep it moving” | lil’ kim by mtv news, 2003.

"I'm locked in a five-year contract with [Kim]," said Cease, who's signed as a solo artist to Queen Bee Records. Other than albums that Kim herself has recorded, Cease's poor-selling but critically acclaimed 1999 solo debut, The Wonderful World of Cease A Leo, is the only release to come from the Queen Bee Records imprint since it was founded in 1998.

-- by Shaheem Reid, with additional reporting by Sway Calloway, Jeff Cornell and Quddus Phillipe Kimberly Jones is dying to go Hollywood, but some people are hissing that she already has. She definitely isn't the same 'round-the-way girl the Notorious B.I.G. introduced us to in 1995. Little Ms. Jones has estranged herself from old ideals and friends from her 'hood that she once considered family. She's got a fresh attitude to go with her new set of Hollywood and high-society buddies and associates, people such as Hugh Hefner, Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Don King, Donatella Versace and Victoria Gotti.

Kimberly doesn't even look the same — she switches hairstyles almost as often as she changes rhyme flows. Plus she's got a new surgically altered nose to go with her voluptuous, augmented breasts. "When I decided to finally do that is when I realized I was a sex symbol," she has said about her implants. "It's something that I felt would make me have more fun with my photo shoots and enhance my look a little bit." But going Hollywood for Kim really means just that: She wants to make movies. Her dreams have nothing to do with forgetting where she came from, or — as they might say in her native Bedford Stuyvesant neighborhood — "acting brand new." Kim maintains she's the same Brooklyn girl at heart: feisty, focused and determined not to fail. Like Will Smith and, more recently, Queen Latifah, rap's Queen Bee wants to make it big in Tinsletown. Yeah, she's appeared in such flicks as "Juwanna Mann" (2002) and "Zoolander" (2001), but Kim knows she's capable of bigger roles and more explosive performances. "Being involved in different entities of the game is so much fun 'cause you don't just get stuck in one genre," she explained. "I like to be here and there. My personality and my character are versatile." But unlike the aforementioned rap legends, she still wants to keep the music industry buzzing about her material. "That's one thing I don't like," Kim said, referring to how some of her fellow MCs' music careers suffered as their movie careers took off. "Will [Smith] was doing it at one point. Regular rappers were trying to [sell] five million [albums] and he was doing seven million, with flicks out that were doing $50 million a week. That's the type of success I want to follow. I think what happens is that the rappers [who] have success in Hollywood kinda start ignoring their music. I don't think it matters to them anymore. I ain't gonna front, [if] you're getting $20 to 25 million a film ... even $10 million a film is enough to make you say, 'I don't have to do an album this year.' [But] I wouldn't do that." And that's no Hollywood talk, either. Kim not only has a movie called "Guns and Roses" due out this summer, she has a new LP, La Bella Mafia, in stores now. Named La Bella Mafia after a 1997 made-for-TV movie, "Bella Mafia," in which widows of mob figures take over the family business, this LP has been heralded as Kim's best work since her trailblazing 1996 solo debut, Hard Core. On Mafia, she runs away from the syrupy melodies and hooks that hampered 2000's Notorious K.I.M.'s "How Many Licks" and "I'm Human," which seemed to pander to radio and dancefloors. Kim's latest opus is a return to the streets, where she enlists such sound-shapers as the always-unpredictable Swizz Beatz, Scott Storch, who has co-produced some of Dr. Dre's classic jeep thumpers, and Mobb Deep's master of morose tracks, Havoc.

"She's a star, [and] people respect stars," said Havoc, who first worked with Kim on Mobb Deep's remix to "Quiet Storm." "She's smart, and most of the decisions she makes are good musically. She's among the top people in the game, and she's better than a lot of [guys]. You don't have a choice but to give her that respect." "I think she's on top of the game," concurred Queen Latifah, who recorded with Kim on the soundtrack for the Academy Award-winning film "Chicago." "I just bought her album the other day and I love it. I think it's [about] her growing up. She still ballsy, and she's still gonna pop junk to any other female rapper out there, but I like where she is right now. I like to see her in control of where she wants to go. I'm proud of her." And while Kim loves the praise she's received from her peers and fans, she feels things could still be a lot better. Although Mafia put her on pace to equal or surpass the numbers she posted with her biggest selling LP, the double platinum Hard Core (despite its lukewarm reception, Notorious K.I.M. still sold over a million copies as well), Kim wasn't pleased with La Bella Mafia's first-week sales of close to 167,000 copies. "A lot of people say 'Kim is up there,' " the Queen Bee lamented, "but I don't feel that I'm up there 'cause I haven't accomplished my goal yet, which is to sell 10 million records of one album. Imagine what people will say when I reach that point." One thing people do talk about is how long it takes Kim to churn out albums. There was a four-year gap between the first two records, and even with the widely heralded Trackmasters and the spirit of Mafia co-executive producer B.I.G. fueling this album's beats and rhymes, it took years to make as well.

"It's kind of hard because I like to take my time to make things perfect," Kim said, explaining why she always has such a long gap between projects. "I went into this album thinking, 'I'm just going to have fun with it.' I said, 'I'm going to do what I want to do. Let me do this the way I feel B.I.G would have wanted me to do this.' He's the one that taught me everything I know, and he tells me things still. That's why B.I.G is listed as the co-executive producer on my album. It's just me and him." What also slows down production is the fact that you just can't keep the black Erica Kane locked in the studio for too long. She's got her manicured hands dipped in far too many projects to be getting stuck in a sound booth all night. For one thing, she's got a new clothing line, Hollyhood, still in development, with a launch tentatively planned for the fall. A true fashion aficionado, Kim's wild outfits, trend-setting hairdos and modeling stints for Mac and Candies and have given her a strong presence in the fashion world. Hobnobbing with clothing kingpins with last names like Prada, Versace and Armani have only strengthened her cause. "When she did 'Guns and Roses,' she was on the mark," LisaRaye said of Kim's spin as Chastity, the vixen of the bunch. In addition to the movie, the two worked together on a song for the film's soundtrack. "We filmed that movie in 18 days, so you know how quick and steady the flow was," she continued. "She was actually excellent." "It was fun," Kim said with a grin. "It's like a female 'Young Guns.' Us five females, we're like sisters. When we all got together it was nothing but love. For the most part, we were all sisters on that set — we all had each other's back. I like to surround myself with good people — positive people committed to their work." 

And make no mistake — if you're not committed to Kim, you can't be down. At her album release party a few weeks ago, celebrities such as Dave Chappelle, Mobb Deep, Jagged Edge and Wayne Wonder came out to one of Manhattan's newest hot spots, the Lobby, all ready to hail the Queen. Conspicuously absent were Kim's longtime running mates, Lil' Cease and the rest of the Junior M.A.F.I.A. Kim and the J.M., all friends and protégés of Biggie's, had been virtually inseparable since they were introduced back in 1995. The originally nine-member crew appeared on classic songs together, put out a gold album and performed at countless shows nationwide. When B.I.G. died, they leaned on each other during their collective time of mourning, and his memory was the glue that held them all together. And the bond was deep. When Kim went solo, she looked out for her boys as their careers stagnated. If they needed money, she hit them off. If one of her guys got in trouble with the law, as Larceny and Cease were known to do on a few occasions, Kim, the perennial mother figure, always bailed them out. At one point, the clique was so close that they all lived together in Kim's New Jersey mansion. But since then, the group's relationship has soured, and the Queen Bee has had to literally clean house. "Well, you have to move on and you have to grow," Kim said, visibly holding back venom and opting to give a more politically correct answer as to why she no longer associates with Cease and Co. "You can't be taken advantage of for too long, and it's a case where unfortunately, [the relationship] just went bad. In the same sense, I hope they do well and [that] they can find God in their hearts." On La Bella Mafia's "Heavenly Father," however, Kim's a little less restrained. She raps, "And was it enough that I split 20 percent of what I make?/ Was it enough that I cut n----s half of what I bake?" 

Lil' Cease is just as angry with Kim these days as she is with him. His biggest beef with her is not that she cut him off — it's that she won't let him go. He's so miffed at his onetime homegirl that he's started a "Free Cease A Leo" T-shirt campaign.

"I'm locked in a five-year contract with [Kim]," said Cease, who's signed as a solo artist to Queen Bee Records. Other than albums that Kim herself has recorded, Cease's poor-selling but critically acclaimed 1999 solo debut, The Wonderful World of Cease A Leo, is the only release to come from the Queen Bee Records imprint since it was founded in 1998.

"She's putting all this stuff out like she's not messing with me right now," Biggie's puffy-cheeked former best friend fumed. "I feel like if you [are] not messing with me, give me walking papers so I can do me. We had our differences [and] I thought we could patch them up, but honey is doing her thing. I'm not knocking her, but she still got me under paperwork. [I've] been trying to get in touch with her, [but] she's ducking me. I call the office, [but] she don't want to talk to me. I go to the office [and] I can't see her."

"There's a lot of truth to what Cease was saying," Kim retorted with a snarl before clamming up. "I don't really want to get into that. The only thing I'm concerned with is La Bella Mafia being in stores. The whole truth will come out later and I can't wait." Although Kim is being clandestine and won't say exactly when her and the Mafia started to fall out, she is more than willing to reveal when her relationship with her former manager, mentor, friend and Notorious K.I.M.'s executive producer P. Diddy went south. "I can honestly say that during the whole process of [making Notorious K.I.M.], Puff and I were like a brother and a sister arguing," said the 26-year-old. "One minute we'd be the best of friends, and then the next minute things weren't working out at all," Kim said. "Sometimes Puffy likes people to do whatever he says. I'm a creative person, an entertainer. I'm a boss lady. A lot of times when you [are] working with a boss man, you have to respect each other's opinion. I just wanted my respect and because I was young and female, I don't think he gave it to me fully." "I'm a hard coach from beginning to end," Diddy said unapologetically about his meticulous work ethic. "I'mma push an artist to [be] the best. Some artists feel [like], 'I've grown up, and I don't want you to push me this hard no more.' I can't really do that. I'm not crazy or anything, I just want to be the best. We gotta be the best every time." Kim said she was also hurt because when times got tough for her after Notorious K.I.M. received mixed reactions, Diddy abandoned her. "I loved Puffy with all my heart, [and] if you look back, I was the only one supporting him. [At the time we were making my album] I wasn't even signed to Bad Boy," she vented. "During those times I held his hands, like, 'I know these people hate you right now, but I'm with you, dawg.' Puffy can be very selfish. I had to let him go do him and I had to go do me. I needed people at that time that was going to support me 150 percent. I was only getting 50 percent. Unfortunately, I don't speak to him at all."

P. Diddy, who seems indifferent about the split, offers a simpler explanation: "I think it's [about] people outgrowing each other and people wanting different things." While Kim hasn't cut off all her old friends, she has been gravitating toward a new crowd on the road to becoming a better-rounded person. One of her biggest cheerleaders now is Victoria Gotti, a multimedia personality and the daughter of late mob boss John Gotti. The two met over a year ago at an event in New Jersey and have built a nurturing relationship. They've done their share of partying and have at least one big adventure in common: The line-slinging siren recently held her buddy to a long-standing promise to appear in one of her videos. In February, the pair braved the bitter cold to shoot the unreleased clip for Kim's song "I Came Back For You" in front of the Brooklyn Bridge. Gotti says she'd do anything for her homie. "It's weird because she's everything she is onstage and nothing like her [persona]," Gotti said, describing why such a diverse group of people show Kim love. "She is a chameleon. She can just rise to [any] occasion and fit whatever mood everybody's in. That's the one thing I adore about Kim, [and] that's the first thing that shines through. Forget her looks, forget her outrageous outfits — she's got personality that's second to none." And what Kim's hoping for is that soon, her success in all fields will be second to none. Even as her fan base broadens, she maintains that she'll never forget the gig that first put her on to all the other opportunities. In fact, she is as hungry as ever to stand out and rock the mic.  "I don't ever worry about competition," she says confidently in regards to her fellow female rappers. "I do a totally different thing from all these females. Everybody feels that 'I have to be at the top.' We can all be at the top selling records. There is no 'I'm better.' I know I'm a Queen and I do what I do.' "

    And what she is doing is everything.

[sasscast]

How to Start a Successful Podcast in 2020

Podcast listening continues to grow tremendously. According to Edison Research, the number of Americans listening to podcasts every week has increased 175% in the past five years, with approximately 90 million listening to a podcast every month.

As a business owner, learning how to start a podcast is something to consider to help you reach this growing audience and expand your business through content marketing.

You don't have to be a very technical person, nor do you require a lot of money to learn how to make a podcast. This guide will be your A-Z step-by-step tutorial on how to get started with audio podcasting and why you should create a podcast. We will cover everything from the technical to the summary of podcasting concepts.

How to start a podcast

To start a podcast, at a minimum, you must:

Propose a concept (a subject, name, format, and target length for each episode). Design illustrations and write a description to "bookmark" your podcast. Record and edit your audio files (like MP3). A microphone is recommended (more on the podcast team below). Find a place to host your files (like a file host that specializes in podcasts, like Libsyn or Podbean). Distribute these audio files in an RSS feed so that they can be distributed through Apple Podcasts and downloaded or streamed on any device upon request.

How podcasting works

Podcasts can be played in two ways.

The first is simply by streaming or downloading the podcast from the RSS feed, either on a feed reader like Feedly or on the blog / podcast website where the podcast is hosted or embedded. Here is an example of an integrated Shopify Masters podcast hosted on Simplecast.

The other is through the use of a player, such as Apple Podcasts or Pocket Casts. Subscribe to the RSS feed in the player and play any of the episodes of the feed on a device, such as a smartphone or tablet. Sometimes they are called "podcatchers". Podcast players sync data from the RSS feed to give an episode list, display data (such as the episode name and show notes), illustrations, and a link to the show file (usually an MP3).

Why start a podcast?

If you understand the value of creating content (for example, blogging) for your business and brand, then you understand the value of podcasting. Creating a podcast allows you to reach a whole new audience - people who would otherwise never find or consume your long-form content because they prefer the audio format.

You don't need to be an established content creator or blog to become a successful podcaster. A podcast is a great way to build an audience from scratch and position yourself as an authority in your industry.

Additionally, podcasts also provide the potential to drive traffic back to your website or store. Each podcast directory provides a link to your website, and since it's your podcast, you can direct listeners to your website at the end of each show.

Podcasting audience grew significantly after 2018. According to the 2019 Edison Research Podcast Consumer Report, 51% of Americans age 12 and older have listened to a podcast, down 32% in the past month and 22% in the last week. In 2019, weekly US podcast listeners averaged seven podcasts each week.

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Number of podcasts listened to weekly

On Apple Podcasts, there are dozens of categories and subcategories where listeners are actively searching for new content. 

This means that your podcast or vlog content will be highly targeted. People interested in your topic can search for it.

In 2015, podcasts had a balanced demographic, with listeners who were equally adult males and females between the ages of 18 and 44. 

However, 2019 Edison data shows that podcast listeners leaned slightly more masculine and slightly older (35-54 years) in recent years.

Lastly, starting a podcast allows you to position yourself as an authority on your topic. It helps to build your audience and also makes it easier to sell your product or service, since you are the credible source. 

Being seen as an authority can help influence potential customers to buy your products.

Why does podcasting work as a content platform?

Podcasts are a popular content platform because they are easy to consume. People can listen to podcasts on the go, in the car, at the gym, and even at work.

Another reason podcasts are easy to consume is that they can be listened to on any device. Your listeners don't need a radio or sitting in your car to listen. They can listen on their smartphones, desktops, or tablets. Unlike radio, podcasts are on demand, which means your audience can listen to what they want, when they want.

Compared to other content platforms, podcasts allow you to create an intimate connection with your audience. Imagine being in your target listener's ears for 30 minutes or more. They are listening to you talk to them, one by one.

This is your opportunity to form a more personal relationship with your audience. Due to this level of engagement, people even listen to ads more closely. Whether you're looking to start a podcast to promote your business or monetize with ads, Midroll found that 61% of listeners bought a product or service after hearing it advertised on a podcast.

Finally, podcasts are free. They are free to create and to listen.

Starting with your own podcast

Learning how to start a podcast begins with identifying the premise or topic. Each episode must be relevant to that premise. For some, this topic will be obvious. For others, especially in unique industries and niches, you will need to be creative about your topic.

For example, if you sell sunglasses, you may not be able to start a podcast exclusively about sunglasses. However, if your customers are world travelers, then perhaps a travel podcast is a better topic.

Your topic will also be reduced to what you are expert or passionate about. Sometimes if you are lucky you will be both.

Before committing to a topic, check to see if there is enough to talk about. Try to create a list of at least 10-15 episodes. Then look for similar podcast recommendations on Apple Podcasts and examine their popularity, such as the number of reviews and the number of followers on social media. Competition is a good thing! It can tell you if the topic is workable or not.

The next important component is the podcast format. What will your podcast be like and how will it be structured? Here are some ideas:

Interview style

Alone

More than one host

Narrative / narration

Hybrid (some combination of the above types)

Lastly, how long will each of your episodes last? It's a good idea to have a consistent episode length so your listeners know what to expect. If your podcast is 20 minutes each episode and your listeners are used to it, it will be easy for them to time their listening with a daily commute, for example.

Cover art

Your podcast cover must be beautiful. Don't neglect this aspect of your podcast, as Apple Podcasts in particular seems to only feature podcasts (more on that later) with professional-looking artwork. You may need to spend some money hiring a professional to design your cover. Whether you do it yourself or hire a professional, use words and images that are large enough to be clearly readable in almost any size.

Take a look at the artwork that catches the eye on Apple podcasts and model your cover later. I recommend trying Fiverr or, better yet, hiring an Upwork graphic designer to create something beautiful for your podcast. Your cover must be a minimum of 1400 x 1400 and a maximum of 2048 x 2048.

Podcast name

The name of your podcast should speak to you and your audience. Ideally, listeners should know what the podcast is about just by name. Having a very descriptive name can help. However, this is not entirely necessary, as most podcast platforms include a "hook" or a short description along with the podcast name. This helps optimize the search capabilities of your podcast on platforms such as Apple Podcasts or Google Play. For example, "Grub Podcast: All About Healthy Eating and Helping You Cook Better" or "Xtreme: Interviews with Famous Skateboarders, such as Tony Hawk, Chad Muska, and Rick Howard."

Category / subcategory

There are dozens of categories and subcategories in Apple podcasts, from arts and politics to comedy and religion. Choose the category that best suits your theme. It does not need to be the exact subject. If you're having trouble deciding on a category, look at other podcasters on Apple Podcasts that are similar to yours and write down which category and subcategory they use.

Podcast Description

You don't want to skimp on your podcast description. You should include as many relevant keywords as possible. This will help with search engine optimization (SEO) of your podcast listings. Apple Podcasts is a search engine, so many people who find their podcast will find it through a simple search.

Featured co-hosts and collaborators

As your podcast grows, it's also a good idea to include the names of the great hosts you've had and the themes of your most popular episodes. In this way, new listeners immediately know which podcast episodes to watch, making new listeners more likely to become fans in the long run.

What podcast equipment and software do you need? In this section, we'll go over the equipment and software you need to start a podcast. This guide will also explain the most basic settings for creating your podcast starter kit.

Equipment 

Microphones for android Microphones for computers Audio recording software Call recording software Podcast recording equipment to improve quality.

[blackkudos]

Frenchie Davis

Franchell "Frenchie" Davis (born May 7, 1979) is an American Broadway performer and a soul, dance/electronica, and pop singer. She first came to public attention in 2003 as a contestant on the singing competition show American Idol. Davis began performing in Rent on Broadway soon afterward, and was a member of the cast for four years. In 2011 Davis reached the top 8 on the first season of singing competition The Voice.

Early life and career

Davis was born in Washington, DC and raised in Los Angeles, CA. She graduated from Howard University in 2014 with a Bachelor of Fine Arts.

In the year 2000, she began her performing career in productions of Little Shop of Horrors and Jesus Christ Superstar with the Freilichtspiele Theatre Company in Schwabisch Hall, Germany.

American Idol

Davis was a contestant on the second season of American Idol in 2003, but was disqualified early in the season due to topless photos taken earlier in her career.

According to Davis, she was up-front about her pictures:

"When I first discovered that I had made it to Hollywood and found out I would be competing to get into the top 30 and then later in the top 12, they had given us all this paperwork to fill out, background checks and that whole thing. So when we were doing that I had a discussion with some members of the production staff and I exposed to them a piece of my past; that when I was 19 years old, I took some pictures and that’s not the person I am [anymore]. I wanted to be up-front about it. We talked about it and then nothing happened".

The Idol staff took no action then, but two months later, they decided that Davis's participation would be inappropriate. "They had decided that because American Idol was a family show, that they could not have me on the show because of the pictures I had taken –though they had never seen the pictures," she told EuroWeb. She also added that no one was able to find the pictures in question as the website that featured them had been taken down.

Double-standards controversy

In 2007, revealing pictures of season six American Idol contender Antonella Barba surfaced on the internet, but Barba was kept on the show (though she was voted off shortly afterward). Many drew parallels to Davis's earlier situation. In an interview conducted for The New York Post on Monday, March 5, 2007, Davis said,

"I couldn't help but notice the difference between the manner in which she was dealt with and how I was dealt with.... I think it's fantastic if

Idol

has evolved, and I think it's fantastic she won't have to go through what I went through four years ago … but if the rules have changed, I believe there should be something to make up for the fact that I was humiliated needlessly."

The discrepancy was discussed on talk show The View on March 6, 2007. Co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck argued that the difference was that Davis was paid for her pictures whereas Barba was not. Co-host Rosie O'Donnell disagreed, saying, "I think it's racist. I do... I think it's because she's black". American Idol was also accused of racism by Project Islamic H.O.P.E. activist Najee Ali: "obvious that it's a racial bias... when you have a situation where a black contestant is punished and a similar situation happens to a white contestant and there is no punishment and they're allowed to continue on the show."

Post-Idol career

After American Idol, Davis appeared in the Broadway musical Rent in 2003. She sang the solo in the opening song of Act Two, Seasons of Love, and in ensemble roles such as Mrs. Jefferson (Joanne's mom), a woman with bags, a coat vendor, Mrs. Marquez (Mimi's mom) and others. She also occasionally played the part of Joanne. On June 1, 2005, Davis returned to her previous role in the Broadway production of Rent. Davis had previously announced that she would leave Rent in May 2007, but announced her final performance following a mid-April 2007 show. During the weeks leading up to the April 29 performance of Rent's 10-year reunion, Davis appeared in an iTunes Podcast (Rent: The PodCast). She also joined the original cast for a special encore performance.

In 2004, Davis was cast in the role of Effie in a West Coast-touring production of Dreamgirls, which appeared in Sacramento, San Jose, and Seattle, and later went to the Pittsburgh Civic Light Opera.

From August 3–19, 2007, Davis starred alongside Miche Braden and JMichael in the role of Mahalia Jackson in the Hartford Stage production of Mahalia: A Gospel Musical, written by Tom Stolz and directed by Jeremy B. Cohen.

In 2008, Davis, along with fellow second-season American Idol participants Ruben Studdard and Trenyce Cobbins, starred in the 30th-anniversary national tour of the musical revue Ain't Misbehavin'. The tour ran until May 2009, and was nominated for a Grammy award in the Best Musical Show Album category.

In the fall of 2010, Frenchie was cast in the role of the Fairy Godmother in Rodgers & Hammerstein's Cinderella (Enchanted Edition) at the Berkeley Playhouse, the resident theatre company at the Julia Morgan Center for the Arts in Berkeley, California.

The Voice

In 2011, Davis competed in the first season of reality competition series The Voice. In the first episode, she performed "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry, advancing to the next round as a member of mentor/judge Christina Aguilera's team of 8.

On the May 10 episode, Frenchie competed in a sing off against Tarralyn Ramsey, both singing "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" by Beyoncé. Frenchie won and made it to the next round.

On the June 7 episode, Frenchie performed "When Love Takes Over" by David Guetta and Kelly Rowland. She was told, "You may very well have the strongest voice in this whole competition."

In the next week, it was announced that Frenchie did not win the fan vote from the previous week's performance, which would have allowed her to move on in the competition. However, Aguilera used her own vote to move Frenchie onto The Voice's Elite 8.

On the June 21 episode, featuring the Showdown of the Elite 8, Davis performed "Like a Prayer" by Madonna.

Frenchie Davis was eliminated during the semi-finals, finishing fifth overall. She did, however, join the other members of the final eight contestants of the show: Javier Colon, Dia Frampton, Vicci Martinez, Beverly McClellan, Casey Weston, Xenia and Nakia on a U.S. tour summer 2011.

Post-Voice career

In December 2012, Frenchie starred in the musical God Doesn't Mean You Get To Live Forever at the Baruch Performing Arts Center in New York with legendary pastor Dr. James A. Forbes Jr. and Gregory Charles Royal. In 2014 she made her film debut in the comedy film Dumbbells.

In 2017, Davis starred as Henri in The View UpStairs - an off-Broadway musical about the UpStairs Lounge arson attack that killed 50 patrons of a gay bar in New Orleans. She was also a winner of the Jose Esteban Munoz Award from CLAGS: the Center for LGBTQ Studies (formerly known as Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies) at The Graduate Center, CUNY. The award is given to an LGBTQ Activist who promotes Queer Studies outside of academia.

Recording career

Frenchie is a featured artist in the Tony Moran single "You Are" that was released December 1, 2009, and peaked at number 5 on the Billboard hot clubplay chart. "You Are" was the debut single from Moran's album Mix Magic Music.

On September 4, 2012, Davis released her debut solo single, "Love's Got A Hold On Me". The song peaked at #12 on the Billboard Dance Chart. The song was billed as the first single from an upcoming solo album, Just Frenchie, but the album was not released.

Personal life

Davis possesses a vocal range of Lyric Mezzo-Soprano.

In 2012, Davis came out as bisexual. She continues to be a strong and outspoken advocate for the Bisexual community, LGBTQ Youth and for LGBTQ People of Colour.

In 2013 she was the featured performer at the National LGBTQ Task Force's 25th National Conference on LGBT Equality: Creating Change in Atlanta GA where she explained that she had come out for all of the young LGBT people. "It's so wonderful to see all the young people here. You all are the reason that I chose to be out. Because it is important that you see people in the public eye who are not ashamed of who they are. It is ok to be true to you."

In 2014 Davis created a stir when she spoke out bluntly in response to the verdict in the Shooting of Jordan Davis by Michael Dunn where the jury deadlocked on the charge of first-degree murder, saying "As an LGBT woman of color, I am having an extremely difficult time grasping WHY Matthew Shephard’s life is so much more valuable than Trayvon’s or Jordan’s????!?!?! Help me understand, y’all! Help me understand".

In popular culture

Davis was impersonated by guest host Queen Latifah on the March 8, 2003, episode of sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live; Davis was lampooned for her nude photo scandal, brash attitude and melismatic singing style.

Awards and Recognitions

In June 2017, Davis received the José Esteban Muñoz award from CLAGS: The Center for LGBTQ Studies - an award that is given to individuals who promote Queer Studies in their work or activism. She shared the award alongside Nathan Lee Graham and Wilson Cruz.

[raysofcrosby]

UNCONDITIONALLY

"𝘕𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴.  𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘶𝘱𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴." – 𝙐𝙣𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙣

𝘨𝘪𝘧 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘵 (𝘹)

𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥: yes | no

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨(𝘴): nope.

𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: 3,382

𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤: make you feel by love by adele

𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦: sorry this took so long to post, this past weekend has been a huge pain in my ass and life’s been rough, but the fluff in this has been a good distraction. i hope you this doesn’t suck too bad lmao enjoy and request! :)

Today was supposed to be good– great even. You had it all planned out since last night: get off of work early and set up a nice evening in for you and Johnny. Just a little something you wanted to do for your boyfriend of two years since you could see just how big of a toll the playoffs were having on him. You'd felt guilty, not truly being there for him like most of the other WAGs from the team were. Almost five games into the playoffs and you'd only been able to go to one. You felt like a shitty fan and an even shittier girlfriend as the games went on.

You even spent one night crying to Johnny about how sorry you were for missing so many games. Johnny being Johnny, of course, told you that it was okay and that he knew you would be there if you could. And the main reason that you weren't able to go, was your chauvinistic and narcissist of a boss. He'd been the one to overturn your already approved, early dismissal because of something your equally as talented co-worker could handle– but he wanted you to do it instead– "just because." The one who frequently kept you and your co-workers, some who had kids and families to go home to, late at work just to work on a project, months in advance– and then leave 30 minutes later for a dinner date that he "couldn't refuse."

Every game these playoffs, you'd put in extra hours, worked hard and ahead of schedule, just so you had the hours backed up so your boss literally couldn't complain about you missing work...but he always found a loophole to prevent you from leaving.

Until today.

Today, you stood your ground and left work early– stating that there was nothing he could do since your hours had been approved, and when he tried to argue otherwise, you left. In professional terms, you put in your two weeks notice and got the hell out of there. But there was no doubt in your mind that he'd have you come in. And while the initial fact of you no longer having a job put a huge damper on the day– you wouldn't let it affect everything you'd had planned for Johnny. You could still hear the sadness in his voice when he said goodbye to you this morning...

You were thrilled when the Flames made it into the playoffs. Seeing how hard the boys worked all season start to pay off gave you the strength to make it through the days with your horrible boss. But as the playoffs went on and the odds began to go against the Flames– you knew that you had to do something for Johnny. So with the rest of your day free and Johnny out with the team all day– you went shopping.

Taking a step back, you admired the fort that you had set up in the living room of your shared apartment. You don't consider yourself to be a LaurDIY kind of person– but Pinterest aided you in creating the best movie watching fort that your furniture could support. Looking at the clock on the microwave, you knew that Johnny would be home at any moment. Dinner was already prepped and in the oven, still needing to cook for 30 more minutes until it was ready to be served. All that was left to do was set up his relaxing bath.

Walking down the hall to your master bath, you couldn't help but feel loved as you passed by all of the photos of your two years with Johnny hanging up on the walls. From vacations, hockey games, concerts and even the little home moments– they showed just how loving of a relationship that the two of you had. One, that almost never happened if it weren't for your best friend, her now husband...and strangely enough, one of Johnny's teammates. Her husband works as a manager in their media department and when it came time for the Flames annual charity gala, he had to work most of it, and your best friend didn't want to go alone– so she scored you a ticket.

Your endgame for the evening was to just linger in the background while munching on the free food and drinking all the booze they had to offer, but she had other plans in mind. She introduced you to everyone under the room at that gala that she could find– except for Johnny. You had found him all alone when you were hiding from her over by the buffet table. You had both reached for the last piece of some chocolate mousse cake and insisted the other have it so they didn't have to wait for the staff to bring out more. You suggested to split it, but before Johnny could even pick up the last piece, his teammate, who you'd come to know as Sean Monahan, swiped it and patted Johnny on the shoulder with a grin before walking away.

You two spent the rest of the night talking and when it came time to leave, you, your best friend and her husband were chased down by Sean, insisting to get your number for Johnny since– "he has literally zero game, so I'm helping him out." And the rest was history. Not like you could ever forget it since every year around gala time, your best friend and Sean remind you both about how your relationship is all thanks to them. They weren't wrong though. Without them, you doubt you'd be as happy in love as you are with Johnny.

You walked up to the bathtub and closed the drain, then started running the hot water. You lit the two candles that rested on the corner of the outside of the tub, already feeling relaxed at the immediate scent of vanilla and lavender. Sitting on the edge of the tub, you poured some Epsom salt into the water, using your hand to mix it around. You reached up towards the counter and grabbed the lush bag, pulling out the vibrant purple bath bomb Johnny had come to love but denied it whenever you guys went shopping– the Sex bomb. He claimed that he liked it for the colors and the jasmine smell, but you knew that he liked it solely based on the fact that he was a 25-year-old male and it was literally called 'the Sex bomb.'

"What are you doing?"

You squealed, almost falling into the bathtub but catching yourself on the counter edge before turning around to see Johnny. "Holy shit, you scared me to death."

He chuckled softly as he made his way over to the bathtub. "Sorry, I figured you were in the bath so I didn't call out for you."

"Sounds like something a serial killer would do," you joked, standing up and wrapping your arms around his neck. "How was practice."

Immediately, you could tell that all he wanted to do was let his shoulders fall and let his body sink into yours. Instead, he took shallow breaths and kept himself up straight. "Fine."

You raised an eyebrow and brought one hand to the left side of his face. Your fingers traced over his temple before coming to a rest on his cheek. "Come on Johnny, it's me..."

His eyes focused on you, taking in your face as if to see if you could hold up every ounce of emotion that he was about to pour on you. When they stilled, he closed them and wrapped his arms around your waist, leaning down and burying his face into the crook of your neck. "It sucked. It really fucking sucked."

The reality of their chance at advancing into the second round must have crashed into his hard based on the bubbling of his voice as he mumbled into your neck. "Sshh, it's okay J." You whispered, running your right hand through his hair as he totally relaxed into you. "And who knows, maybe you guys can come back and win it all."

He mumbled something incoherently into your shoulder and stood back up, looking down at you with a sad smile. "You always look on the bright side of things and I love you for that you know."

"I know," you cradled his face and kissed him softly, pressing your forehead to his. "Now strip naked and get into the tub."

His head fell back as he let out a genuine, from the gut laugh before looking at you again. "Well, that's one way to get my attention." His hands slid underneath your borrowed shirt, resting at the small of your back as his thumbs rubbed against your skin. "Will you be joining me in this bath?"

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. "And steal the sex bomb from you? No way," you patted his chest as you stepped back from him. "All yours buddy boy, I'll be in the kitchen finishing dinner."

Before you could reach the door, you felt his fingers wrap around your wrist, preventing you from moving. When you turned around, you could see that in the few seconds it took for you to get away from him– he had already tossed his shirt off to the side and stepped out of his sweats. "Please stay?"

"This is supposed to be a relaxing bath for you," you sighed, motioning towards the candles. "And cramping two people into a tub doesn't exactly scream, relaxation to me."

He let his eyebrows furrow as he stuck out his bottom lip. It was a look you knew all too well, and one that he pulled off perfectly. The way he was able to guilt people into doing something by looking like you just ran over his puppy's tail...was remarkable. "Please?"

You stood there, chewing on the inside of your cheek and contemplating whether or not to get into the tub. You had to admit, it was hard resisting jumping into the water when you were getting his bath ready and right now, Johnny isn't making it any easier. "How long did the timer on the stove say?"

He smiled and stripped off his boxers, standing up straight and in the nude. "15 minutes, which is perfect."

"Perfect for absolutely nothing," you stripped out of your shirt and shorts as Johnny sunk into the tub, watching you stand by the edge. "If I get into this tub, you are not and I repeat, not getting lucky."

He smiled, the gleam in his eyes almost seemed as if they were challenging you, but instead, he nodded in agreement. "With you by my side, I'm already the luckiest man in the world."

You undid your bra and peeled off your panties, stepping into the tub and sitting down across from him. "And incredibly cheesy."

He just smiled and lowered his arms into the water, grabbing onto your feet and pulling your legs towards him. He rested your feet onto his stomach as he focused on one foot, massaging it. When you raised your eyebrows to question him, he just shook his head. "You treat me, I treat you. We're equals, Y/N."

"But this night was supposed to be all about you. The bath with your favorite bath bomb. Your favorite dinner and a cool ass looking fort, perfect for watching your...interesting taste in movies."

His knuckle dug deep into the arch of your foot, causing you to moan and him to smile. "I'm fully offended because ‘The Hangover’ is a fantastic movie franchise."

"Yeah, if the second and third never existed."

He dropped your foot into the water with a plop before picking up the other one. "How was work today? You seem kind of...I don't know, off. Was Dicky being a total chode again?"

You threw back your head and laughed as you sunk further into the tub. "His name is Ricky and just because you used a different word, doesn't mean you can covertly say the word dick, twice in a sentence."

"Just answer the question."

"I'll be at the game tomorrow..." you bit your bottom lip as he put more pressure on the heel of your foot, contemplating whether or not to share your news. "And every game after that if you make it into the second round because I quit."

He stopped massaging your foot and stared at you. No emotion on his face, just a deadpan stare. Then a few seconds later, he started massaging your foot again and shrugged his shoulders. "It's about damn time."

You poked his chest with your free foot and glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, that you and I both know that company and that asshole Ricky, didn't deserve your talents," He held onto your other foot and tapped the tops of both feet. "I know how unhappy you were there and that you were already looking for other jobs, so now you don't have to stress about Ricky Dicky while doing so."

You brought your feet back into the water and tucked your legs to your chest, resting your chin on top of your knees. "God, I really wanted to just yell at him and deck him in the face today."

Johnny scooted closer to you, his legs on either side of your hips as he combed back the hair that had fallen in front of your face. "Wanna know a secret?" When you nodded, he leaned in closer to your ear, "I kind of wish you would have." Then he pressed a kiss to your cheek before sliding back into his original position.

You smiled at him, about to say something else when the faint smell of smoke filled your nostrils. "Do you smell that?"

Johnny shook his head as he looked over towards the door, his nose up in the air and sniffing. "No?"

"It smells like..." Your eyes went wide as you looked back at Johnny. "Dinner!" You stood up fast, stepping out of the bathtub and out of the bathroom door. Your knee was throbbing from where you banged it on the counter, but that was nothing compared to the smoke that was coming from the oven. "Oh no, no, no, no."

You grabbed the oven mitts off of the counter and opened the stove, a big wave of dark smoke blowing into your face and up to the ceiling...triggering the smoke alarm. "Babe what–" Johnny appeared in the hall, a towel wrapped around his waist and another one in his hand. "Y/N, get away from there!"

He grabbed your elbow and pulled you towards him, wrapping the towel around your body as he reached for the fire extinguisher underneath the sink. "Johnny it's not–"

A white foam cloud erupted from the hose and into the stove, bringing the smoke to a minimal. He walked over to the windows off to the side, opening both of them to let the smoke out of the apartment. When he was done, you walked over to the stove, picking up the now burnt and covered in white foam, chicken breasts that were supposed to be dinner. Sighing, you placed the pan into the sink as Johnny came over, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his chin on your shoulder. "Pizza?"

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

"Oh come on Y/N lighten up," Johnny groaned, rolling onto his side and poking at you. "I've already apologized about the timer thing."

You looked at him from the corner of your eyes before looking back at the tv in front of you. The box of pizza was resting on the floor in front of you both and the Hangover franchise had turned into a Friends Netflix marathon since the DVD's were in Matthew's possession. "I'm lightened, thank you."

"Really?" He leaned himself up onto his elbows and paused the episode. "Because I know for a fact that you go all googly-eyed over Joey every time he opens his mouth and all you've done so far is mumble every time he's opened his mouth."

You mentally cursed yourself for giving away the fact that you were still upset about dinner being burned. It came to be that the timer on the stove was faulty and had turned off, showing the temperature– 415. How Johnny misread it, you didn't know. You were still reeling over the embarrassment of the fire department showing up at your door to listen to him explain. You weren't mad at him in any way, if anything, you were upset with yourself because nothing had gone according to plan.

Today was a total shit show from the beginning and you wished you could take it all back and start over.

"Y/N..." Johnny whispered, scooting closer to you and wiping his thumb along your cheek. "Baby, why are you crying?"

"I'm not," you mumbled, technically telling the truth since you didn't know you had even started to cry. Johnny looked at you with a 'you better tell me or so help me God' look and you sighed. "I'm just...I wanted today to be perfect."

"But Y/N–"

"No! Ever since last night when you got back from Colorado and talked about the game, I could just hear how sad you sounded. So I planned this night perfectly. A perfect, relaxing bath. A perfect dinner and a perfect blanket fort," Your fingers gripped the pillow beneath you as you aired our your frustrations.

 "You've been so stressed lately and so sad, I just wanted to do something to make you happy and I ruined the bath, burnt the stupid chicken and those stupid movies are with stupid Matthew." You tossed the pillow aside and it hit one of the support for the blankets, causing your fort to come tumbling down. "Oh great, AND I ruined the fort."

Silence overtook you both as you laid there, buried beneath the blankets and separated from each other. Then, a loud laugh came from Johnny. You threw the blankets back to reveal him lying on his back and clutching his stomach, laughing so hard that his eyes were closed shut. When you went to stand up, he stopped you, bringing you into his side as he calmed down. "I'm not laughing at you, I promise."

"Really? Cause it kind of feels like that's exactly what you're doing."

He chuckled again, turning his head to you and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "This night might not have gone according to plan, Y/N...but to me, it was everything I needed. Sure, you turned me down for bathtub sex, ran after a burning meal...butt naked, " his eyes took in the fallen fort and he smiled. "And you definitely did some damage to the fort, but none of that matters because I know your intentions were good and pure and that they came from the heart...it's why I love you."

"I love you too," you sighed as he cradled your face again, brushing away another stray tear as you smiled and laughed a little. "I really did run into the kitchen butt naked, didn't I?"

His smile overtook his face as he nodded, his thumb rubbing against your temple. "Yeah, but at least the blinds were closed so no one got a free show, just me."

You smacked his chest before leaning in and giving him a kiss. He peppered your lips, with smaller kisses before sighing and letting you lay down onto his chest. "Sorry for ruining your blanket fort..."

"It's okay, though I was kind of hoping I'd get at least a little lucky in it."

You sat yourself up and tugged on a blanket, wiggling your eyebrows. "Who says we still can't?"

Johnny smiled and got up onto his knees, shoving the pizza box away before wrapping his arms around your waist and tackling you into the pile of blankets and kissing you once more. "God, I love you." He mumbled against your lips, leaning over you. "How did I get so lucky?"

"The gala ran out of chocolate mousse cake...."

"Guess I should thank the staff then," he smiled and kissed you again before standing up and pulling you up with him. "Come on, we've got a sexy fort to build."

[angrylizardjacket]

the in between moments {Ben Hardy/Reader/Roger Taylor}

Summary: A few moments from the reader's pregnancy, and a few moments after.

A/N: 2664 words. (the writing demon holding my eyes open as I try to sleep: just because you closed your laptop doesn't mean you're free from me.) Anyways I wrote this on my phone and now it's 4am. A bit angsty but happy ending.

It turns into a waiting game, and none of you like to talk about it. It's easy, at first, to pretend like the universe is humouring you; the three of you invest in a bigger apartment, something closer to town with another bedroom, not that you all didn't love the little flat you and Ben had been sharing since the start of all this, but it was too cosy for a family, you all decided.

Family; how strange that word sounded as you turned it over in your mind. It was, of course, inevitable for Roger, he's got his real children - but what made them any more real than yours? - not that it matters to your version of him, at this point in time he's just as in the dark as you and Ben are. For all your sakes you find it easiest to stay out of the spotlight. The moment you start showing, you quit your job; your current co-workers were well aware of your romantic entanglements, more than once Roger's latest Instagram post had been the subject of on set gossip, the type that always went quiet and giggly the moment you entered the vicinity making it so clear they'd just been talking about you. They didn't need to know about this. Ben promises to help you get your job back if you want it after the baby's born, and you say you'll consider it, but for now you enjoy the relative peace.

Ben takes Roger to red carpet events and when the press speculate about the state of your relationship, Roger actually manages to hold in his fury, though there's a few photos with him in the background with his hand clenched so tightly it's painful and white knuckled.

When he flops beside you on the sofa, forgoing the after party for the awards show, still riled up from the comment, part of him needs some small reassurance from you. Ben's still at the party, getting drunk with his costars and messaging that he loves you both and that he hopes Rog got home safe. Roger, for his part, is sulking beside you, still mostly in his suit with his bowtie undone, the whole look doing very Unholy things to you in your hormonal state. It takes him a bit to actually admit what's wrong, he's champagne tipsy from the event and he's distracted by the YouTube documentary you'd been playing in the background, but then your lips are pressed to his jaw, softly asking what's wrong as you're unbuttoning his shirt and he's filled with conflicting emotions.

There's no hesitation in him as he lays you back against the plush sofa, but there is hesitation when he comes to rest his hand on the gentle swell of your stomach, your old, ratty singlet riding up to expose a sliver of your skin. He doesn't say it, doesn't know how, the anxiety the reporter had brought out in his leading to a great that somehow held his vocal cords hostage. Despite this, you know what he needs to hear.

"I love you, Rog," and your voice, like your hand where it comes to rest on his, is gentle, "and you clean up real nice." With a smirk, your gaze drifts down his well tailored but vaguely disheveled suit ensemble, and you actually bite your lip. He wants to make a wise crack about your outfit of choice, a singlet that was practically falling apart and a pair of cotton pyjamas shorts that you used to complain about being too big for you, but seeing you here, like this, with his hand on your pregnant belly, he thinks you look absolutely stunning.

When he kisses you, you're grinning. Ben gets some very interesting and very lewd pictures that night, though you're both asleep and rather fucked out by the time he gets home, he knows you both well enough to see the images as a promise rather than just mere teasing.

Both of them come to your doctor's appointment when they can; the only had experience the three of you have, though you're not even sure if the boys even notice, is when the ultrasound technician starts giving you these weirdly judgey looks when she realises that you don't technically know who the father is.

"He's got your melon alright," Roger grins, leaning forward as he looks between the screen and Ben, eyes shining with amusement. Ben snorts.

"You're blind, babe, and so's that kid if those eyes keeping looking so much like yours," with a smirk he turns to the politely confused nurse, "do they all look like aliens at this stage or is that just Rog's genes?" And his gaze slid to where you were struggling not to laugh at their antics, his own smile endeared at the sight of your joy.

"No, that's all you and your fat head, if anyone's got alien genes it's you," Roger shoved at his shoulders before wrapping his arm around a now laughing Ben. "Maybe it's Y/N."

"I mean the kid's definitely got her nose." It's the quickest and first thing they've agreed on about the baby since seeing the ultrasound. After your laughter has died down, you see the technician's expression. The boys don't notice, well maybe they think she's a little catty when she says the alien look is pretty universal at this stage, that genetics tend not to play a factor just yet, but the way she's regarding you makes you feel so small and a bit shameful. Which is fucked, you contemplate upon leaving, you've worked hard to earn a comfortable life with the men you love, and no bitchass sonographer is going to make you feel bad for that.

When you tell the boys back at home, they're quick to agree, to physically remind you of the love that you've earned.

The nickname for the baby is technically Joe's fault, he calls the baby Billie, since Ben almost exclusively referred to it as 'The Kid'. Ben picks it up first, starts saying Billie the Kid, before you all just start shortening the joke to Billie.

Before they're even born, the kid has a number of nicknames, your favourites being Billie Goat, Billiam, and Bandit, though that last ones only for when they're kicking hard or leaning directly on your bladder. It takes until you're all arguing about whether or not to put the kid's name on the door for you all to finally talk about actually naming them. All of you have suggestions, of course, ideas for names that somehow just don't fit right. You bring up the idea of waiting to actually see the baby to get a feel for the name, but it still doesn't feel right.

"What if we just name them Billie?" Ben breaks the silence, and Roger is quick to him with agreement. You'd been calling the baby they for so long in your mind that at this point everything else felt unnatural.

"What if they want to become a lawyer or something equally dreadful?" Roger asks, and you can't help but laugh at that.

"Well then we give them a fancier name on paper, but they'll be our Billie." You assure, voice dropping to a coo as you rest a hand on your rather large baby bump, as if assuring your unborn child.

Last names are a whole other argument.

Briellen Taylor-Jones was born three weeks premature, and with hey umbilical cord around her neck, and so you'd had enough time to concede on the last name debate, but not enough time to pick a middle name amid your panic. The first time you really get to hold her is a few days after she's born; she's been in an incubator and you've mostly been also, but in your arms she's smaller than a loaf of bed, and sleeping soundly.

"This-" when the nurse had first passed her to you, both boys had been there, looking so proud it almost hurt. You couldn't stop smiling, overwhelmed with joy, tears in your eyes, "this is our little Bandit, huh?" You ask softly, shifting as best you can to make room for both Ben and Roger on the little hospital bed. "Billie the Kid- our kid." You correct, and hold her close to your chest as tears of joy and exhaustion and of overwhelming cathartic release of the past eight months finally escape you. Both of your men wrap their arms around you, Roger's head on your side and Ben pressing a kiss to your temple. With contentment in your heart, you think that Freddie said it best; no motherfucker in the universe is going to upset it.

But it's still a waiting game until you forget what you're waiting for, and that's when the universe takes back what it did give so freely. This is all you can think when days later, a week after Billie's been born, Roger's gone.

You weep at the irony, but mostly because his absence hurt so fucking much.

He goes back to the mid-Seventies and is blissfully unaware; Queen are blowing up, he tours and he fucks around and he sees John's baby for the first time and his heart fucking aches for reasons he's not quite sure of.

In the present, you and Ben... well it's hard. A few weeks after Roger leaves and you find yourself in a doctor's office being told you have post partum depression. Ben still works a lot, not because he wants to, he'd much rather be helping you with Billie, but he's still under contract.

And then there's Billie.

Nothing, not your hormone imbalance brain, not the disappearance of one of your partner's, not even the fact that you have to spend time without her whenever you even just have to run to the shops, leaving her with Ben; none of that could stop you and Ben from loving her more. She's got Ben's smile, and your nose, but somehow, apart from the colour which is all yours, she's got Roger's eyes, you'd both know them anywhere.

Billie Meddows Taylor-Jones is treated like a princess, and counselling really helps you, and Ben takes time off, and it's jarring to realise, just shy of her first birthday, that at this point you're just a happy family. It hurts, at first, Roger's still meant to be here, meant to be part of this, and you know when he comes back - because he will, he has to - he'll fit right in where he belongs with you and Ben. And then it hurts less and less, because his return is inevitable and Ben love you, and you both still love Roger, and you know that he's going to love and adore Billie when he meets her.

When Roger wakes in the future in the park next, and it's always some grubby, urban park that's littered with cigarette butts, he lets himself get his bearings before his whole world comes crashing down around him. He doesn't know the year, is too afraid to check, just sprints to where he hopes you still live; the flat you had bought together.

Your names are on the list of buzzers, and he presses it and waits with baited breath. When your voice crackles over the speakers, tentatively asking who it is, all he needs to say is two words.

"I'm back."

He's not sure what he's expecting on the eighth floor, but when he knocks, he hears footsteps and then hesitation. You open the door slowly, hesitantly, and he hates the expression that you wear whenever he comes back, like you can't quite believe he's real. But then his gaze slips to the toddler in your arms and oh fuck he's been gone for so long.

"Ben's at the shops." Is the first thing you say and he wants to kiss you so bad, but he's absolutely frozen, just gazing in the awe at the little girl frowning with intensity up at him. "Hey Bandit, do you recognise him?" You asked gently, voice light though you're already sniffling with tears. The girl - Bandit, Billie, his Billie - reaches up like she's holding something, wiggling her thumbs, and you laugh softly, "that's right, he is from mummy's phone, do you know who he is?" You asked fondly, and Roger's heart is in his throat as the little girl's whole face lights up as she looks to you for confirmation.

"Daddy!"

It takes all of Roger's self control not to swear in front of- in front of his daughter. It's as if you can see him repress the urge and you look both thankful and amused.

"That's right, that's your daddy." You say gently, and immediately the little girl reaches out insistently for Roger, frowning and frustrated when he just looks back at her, beaming with tears in his eyes. When she makes an angry noise you finally chuckle, gesturing him forward, and he complies. Grinning, quietly laughing, he obliges the demanding little girl when she reaches for his face. Far more pleased, she pats his head with determination.

"Luh-vu much!" She says brightly, before kissing his forehead. Roger just looks up at you, eyes wide and adoring and confused. Billie looks very pleased with herself.

You invite Roger in, and Billie scampers back to where she's got a tea party set up, and you and Roger curl up on the sofa to watch as she builds a whole universe in her mind. It feels like nothing's changed. When he asks quietly about what had happened at the door, you pull your phone from your pocket and he drapes an arm around you, pulling you close to better see the screen. When it lights up, your lock screen shows a photo of you Ben and Roger from a few years ago.

"Billie likes to ask about who people are, especially in photos, and we have lots of you around because of course," Roger presses a kiss to your temple at that, you let yourself sink into his embrace, just a little more, "and so whenever she asked about you, we'd always," you choked up a little at the memory, looking at Billie rather than Roger, "we'd always tell her that that was her daddy, and that he loved her very much, and then she'd get a kiss on the forehead." You laughed gently, and Roger swore gently under his breath, unable to help himself, unable to react in any other way.

"My kid, my daughter." He half laughed, Billie was almost the spitting image of you, and he already adored her.

When Ben gets home, Roger practically bolts at him once Ben's put down the groceries. Ben actually spins him, kisses him so passionately when he puts Roger back down that it might have made you blush if they weren't also both yours, though the moment is broken by the patter of Billie's eager footsteps as she joins the men, hitting at Ben's thigh.

"Spin!" She cries, and Ben steps back from Roger, elated to oblige his little girl. Roger's heart aches at the sight of Ben's smile, knowing just how much he's missed, but then Billie's reaching out for him, asking him to spin her too, so young and bright and she loves and trusts him already because both you and Ben had made sure he'd fit right back in to your family.

"Hey Bandit, guess what." He grinned once he'd stopped spinning her, and she gave him a bright, curious look. "I love you very much," he announced brightly, before pressing an obnoxiously loud kiss to her forehead, and she was giggling loudly, a sound fondly reminiscent of you, before she repeated the gesture back to him. He looks over to where Ben's joined you, both standing by the couch, both looking a little like you can't believe your eyes, but it's good this time. None of you can stop smiling.

[rockisagirlsbestfriend]

The Isolation Journals: Glorious Awkwardness

April 4, 2020

Today’s writing prompt proved a challenge because what was once my most glorious awkward intrinsic trait is currently a way of life for a vast number of people globally. I agonized over the topic longer than I should have.

It felt “too easy” – choosing to write about a “glorious awkward trait” that is so widely accepted now.

It felt “too hard” – would people relate to this as “awkward” now? Could anyone imagine the feeling of hundreds of people staring at them as if they were a freak when they walked down the aisle of an airplane? Would people be able to relate to the experience of returning to the box office, 10 minutes into a movie, to request a new seat assignment; or asking the manager at the gym if they could move to a different cross-training workout station? As many people embrace this trait now, would they be able to imagine their co-workers and friends repeatedly teasing them about this awkwardness and questioning their sanity?

On the idea of it being “too easy”: I thought about some of our most brilliant artists, inventors, designers, musicians, and filmmakers. Stories of being “misunderstood”, “an outcast”, or feeling “different” are commonly shared in interviews. However, once a certain level of fame or recognition is achieved, people celebrate and often emulate their “glorious awkward traits”. But it wasn’t easy. Sometimes that recognition came after decades of taunting by peers, sometimes after death.

On the idea of it being “too hard”: Just this morning, I opened the front door, and saw the grocery delivery driver, in his N95 mask and latex gloves, jump back to the required social distance of 6 feet. Yes, even though this trait is now widely accepted, it still feels awkward. Each of us shrouded in masks as a way to protect each other and ourselves from a dangerous virus. While we both understood it as a necessity, it felt surreal, removed from humanity.

The delivery driver was visibly nervous and anxious to leave. I’d ordered some wine so he needed to scan my ID. With our feet firmly planted on their 6’ marks, our bodies stiffly upright to remain out of the no-fly zone, we extended our arms just far enough that his scanner could read my driver’s license, and retreated as soon as we heard the confirming “beep”.

The writing prompt Jon Batiste offered this morning asked us to describe our “glorious awkwardness”. Well, my glorious awkwardness is: early onset Germaphobia.

I first remember consciously being disgusted by people’s hands in middle school. It wasn’t about the person. I simply saw all the things they touched, could envision dirt and bacteria piling up each time they picked up a pencil, touched the desk, tied their shoe, or twirled their hair. I hid it well (I think), but inside I cringed seeing them raise their unwashed hand to their mouth to eat a sandwich, a healthy snack, or a cookie.

My friends would get sick and brush it off. Their congested nasal passages trying to intake air as they argued, “Agh, izzz jus uh hedddd cold” when I’d decline their request to “try a sip” of my soda. I didn’t want a cold, a head cold, the flu, their mouth on my straw, their breath droplets on the lid.

And it never went away. I thought about it during sex (this was after middle school, for those tracking chronologically). “He didn’t wash his hands when we got home and now they’re where. . . and then. . . ?”

The 3-second rule… or 10 second rule… I don’t remember how many seconds it was, but if a thing fell on a table, the floor, a counter, my shirt, it was not going in my mouth.

In order to have any semblance of a social life, I did the best I could to hide it. Unlike the arbitrary “x-second rule” which never worked for me, I tried to appease my anxiety with “the alcohol will kill it”, which worked for me if I’d consumed enough alcohol.

I’m active, physically and socially. I like to run half marathons, am competitive in a circuit training class, go to rock concerts surrounded by thousands of sweaty people, eat meals out, bump elbows at a crowded bar, travel. The longer I was out in the world, the more I witnessed the repulsive and inconsiderate trait many people - adult people - had of not covering their faces when they sneezed or coughed.

As recently as February – when we were well aware of COVID19, but before we were ordered to stay home – I saw a man sneeze all over the self-service ticket kiosk at the movie theater, as he retrieved his tickets. It was a busy Saturday night. I envisioned all the people who would touch that kiosk after him, print their tickets, go buy popcorn, and put that popcorn directly in their mouth to determine whether it would be salty enough a third of the way through the bucket, before leaving the concession stand to take their seat and perhaps wash their hands on the way. Perhaps.

I alerted an employee, who politely responded, “Thanks for letting us know!” As he continued to address the needs of people in line, the thought of a deadly virus on a high-touch public surface was now trailing off in the distance, unattended.

I’ve been wearing a mask on airplanes, trains, and in all forms of public transport, for more than a decade. The most accessible photo of it I have (meaning I don’t have to sift through 8 hard drives to find an older one) is from 2018 and is posted at the end of this story.

First, it was the looks on the faces of the gate agents, followed by the flight attendants who strained to hear my replies, muffled by the mask. Then, of course, there are the looks other passengers give you, followed by their sighs of relief that you’re not sitting next to them, until you do. Sit. Down. Next. To. Them.

At dinners, my friends would sit waiting around the table, while I washed my hands for well over 20 seconds. Often, depending how long we’d been friends, people would say, “C’mon. It’s ok. The alcohol will kill it!”

Their children would ask, “Can we just start eating?” Sometimes, they could.

Business meals were equally complicated. A coworker once wiped her nose on her napkin, put her napkin on the table, and it touched my fork. I tried to hold it together, to not request new utensils, which would likely be uncomfortable for at least two of us during this business lunch. But I was eating chopped salad. I needed a fork. And I could not use that one. I tried to flag down the server as inconspicuously as possible.

“M’am?” he said.

Fuck. I’m a “M’am” already. Fuck. “Could you please bring me another fork?”

The server picked up the fork, raised it toward his eyes, and twirled it around until nearly every part of it had been touched by his fingers, and declared, “This fork is clean!”

To which my colleague added, “It’s fine. It’s just my allergies.”

Allergies… COVID-19…. the mucus oozing from your nose… whatever hepatitis may now be smeared all over that fork… I’m not using it to place things in my mouth.

This text message regarding COVID-19 is from that co-worker:

To me, for as long as I can remember, this trait wasn’t awkward. It was sensible. I could see how we moved through the world - and we weren’t clean about it. How many things do you do, and surfaces do you touch, between using the ATM and washing your hands? Even if you wanted to, there’s no mechanism for hand washing directly adjacent to the ATM (yet). How many other people pressed those buttons with their dirty hands? Those of us who carry hand sanitizer still have to reach into a pocket or a purse to get it out, mash our dirty ATM hands all over the lid to get it open, splatter it on a hand, close the bottle, brace it between our non-dominant forearm and our ribs, and then rub our hands together vigorously without having it splash in our eyes. 

Put the bottle of sanitizer away.  Feel victorious. And then hear the parking lot attendant decree, “You’re safe!”

One of my favorite observations came from my friend’s son. He was only 5 at the time, but he’d been witness to my glorious awkwardness for most of his life.

“Colette? What happens if you run out of hand-sanitizer?”

“I have more hand-sanitizer.”

“No, but say you’re out - like now -  and that bottle is empty… “

“I’ve got a backup bottle in my purse,” I responded, waving the evidence before him.

“Ok, but what about if you’re in the car. . .  and you run out of hand-sanitizer in the car??”

“I have a backup bottle in the car too…”

“Can we get ice cream?”

In January and February, people freshly returned from their global voyages and large family dinners, would come to circuit training class sick. Coughing, sneezing, sick. “After this workout, I’m going to urgent care,” one member told her friend as we waited in the lobby for class to begin. “I haven’t been able to get rid of this cough for weeks!”

I’d speak with the manager or guest services (they have a fancier name for it, but whatever) people at the front desk. “I come here to be healthy, to stay healthy, to keep my immune system strong. There are visibly sick people about to get on the treadmill adjacent to - and touching - my treadmill, while we breathe heavily, running 8 miles per hour, for 23 minutes, in a steamy enclosed studio. Do you think you could send out an email alerting members that if they’re sick, they should stay home?”

“No, we can’t ask our members to stay home,” they’d respond, while simultaneously – and at my request - reassigning me to a station further away from said sick people. By the way, it wasn’t up to the lovely people at the front desk. They had been told or, at minimum, believed it to be a corporate policy that sick people could workout there.

Fast forward to April 2020: my glorious awkwardness is your glorious awkwardness.

My friends now call me for advice. Colleagues ask where I got my reusable mask (the one pictured below in 2018). “Where did you get that bottle of hand sanitizer?” someone will ask, unaware there’s backup.

But it’s still awkward, isn’t it? Not being able to see the smile of a stranger, clutching the wall as your neighbors cross paths in the narrow walkway, flinching anytime someone sneezes during a ZOOM call. It was one thing when a handful of us felt this way. We understood it to be odd, but we couldn’t escape it, and everyone else seemed to balance it out with their carefree spirits. But now we’re all fumbling through space, with as few points of contact as possible.

Back on the subjects of “easy” and “hard”: in many ways, the new CDC guidelines and local safety mandates have been exceptionally easy for me. It’s my “glorious awkward” moment in the spotlight. I haven’t had to change my behavior at all. I didn’t have to rush to the store (though, on the subject of toilet paper, I am living roll-to-roll).

I have had to change my activities. I miss going to the gym, the crowded bars, the packed arena concerts. I miss running on the beach. I miss traveling. I’ve become numb to the notices of concert cancellations and postponements. Are the days of being at a music festival, with 100,000 people, crammed into sweaty tents, over?

The active part of my life coming to a standstill is hard. But that, I’m still hopeful, is temporary. The hardest part, for me, now that everyone shares this glorious awkwardness, is wondering how we regain that sense of safety in physical space. Will we become afraid to do the things that used to make us feel so alive? Hopefully, we’ll remind each other, “The alcohol will kill it!”

TODAY:

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep ramble 6x09

After the very public outing of Liza’s real age last week, it was no surprise that this week’s Younger episode, ‘Millennial’s Next Top Model’, was all about the fallout. In true Younger style we were treated to some unexpected twists and turns, saw Kelsey take control at work and in her personal life and welcomed back my #1 mega-villain who I hate-love fiercely, Quinn Tyler.  This ep was written by Grant Sloss, who is responsible for a number of my favourite episodes and lot of my fave moments in the series and one thing I am always blown away by is his ability to craft character interactions in which the sentiment and emotion are really palpable (plus the one-liners are always top of the game) and we certainly saw a number of those this week.  Even though Liza is 100% responsible for the position she now finds herself in, my heart went out to her this whole episode and Kelsey, Charles and Diana’s show of solidarity right from the get-go pretty much sums up everything I love about this show. 

I need to say upfront that while I know this episode is all about Liza, it is hands down my favourite episode of Kelsey’s in the series. In a time of real pressure and stress, we see Kelsey step up in the role of publisher, starting with the damage control team meeting in her office. I have big feelings about this opening moment, in which Diana proves why she is an actual Queen who rises above past grievances and now offers unwavering support of Liza while continuing to have zero time for Zane’s bullshit (the ‘well mercifully they have a paywall now’ to Zane’s New York Magazine tidbit was all of the yes). We learn of the deal with Infinitely 21 (was it just me or did anyone else get heart flutters at the thought of Kelsey, Diana and Liza being their brilliant selves and brokering that arrangement? Just me? Cool) and I have spoken of my love for the way this show parodies real life things but this might take the cake. Alexa, what are synonyms for ‘forever’? I just adore that it is very clear that Kelsey is in charge and that Charles and Diana are offering up potential solutions (Diana’s ‘rest her a bit’ is so in character I cannot. Between that and Charles’ thoroughbred thighs from season 4 I fully expect her to have a couple of horses upstate somewhere called Charles and Liza by the end of this series), meanwhile Zane clearly still hasn’t caught on to the fact that these three are not going to throw Liza under a bus.

Enter Liza as he’s ending his tirade about her poisoning the company (and lbh, what he is saying isn’t actually ridiculous from a business p.o.v but he’s talking about the best friend, girlfriend and (old) maid of honour of the people in the room) and it’s awkward af and pretty awful and I want to climb through my screen, wrap Liza in a blanket and tell her it’s all going to be ok. Zane’s extreme over-estimation of his importance in Liza’s life continues when he tells her that what he’s saying can’t be personal because ‘I don’t know who you are’ (worth it for Charles’ ‘Zane’ reprimand though amirite) and as I said after last week’s episode, I can’t even count on one hand the number of interactions Zane and Liza have had so yes Zane, that is accurate and nothing to do with her age reveal. At least once he discovered that Kelsey has known about the lie he FINALLY has a reason to be hurt (maybe? Still a little fuzzy on this one) and look Zane saying they’re all insane might be somewhat accurate but everyone in that room loves Liza and I love all of them so I felt personally attacked tbh.

Keeping with the stellar guest star casting this season, Shelly Rozansky (played by Annaleigh Ashford) is every kind of irritating as brand rep of Infinitely 21. Kelsey and Liza’s meeting with her, in which Shelly explains that 'the tea’ is that their authentic brand cannot be associated with Millennial’s inauthentic one (I love the moral high ground re: brand but I’m pretty sure Millennial doesn’t have factory workers making less than a living wage so…) and this very real ramification of Liza’s lie paves the way for one of Liza’s best moments on the show to date.

Taking that tea of Shelly’s and throwing it in her face, Liza’s monologue that 'everyone is pretending to be younger’ reaches it’s climax with the zinger, 'Millennial is not an age, it’s an attitude and if you can’t sell that, we’ll go somewhere else’, and Kelsey’s look of pride, same girl SAME. One thing I have commented on in the past is that as a '26 year old’ Liza rarely, if ever, really stood up for herself. The few times we’ve seen her do so have been as the forty year old who takes no crap from anyone (David, Charles, Don) so I am here times a million for strong ass Liza to finally shed that guilt, know her worth and be able to show this side of herself now that the lie is no longer in play (I feel like Diana will dig this very much).

Turns out Shelly was quite into Liza’s feisty outburst too ('what you screamed at me today, justifiably, we’re still friends promise…it resonated’ = award winning line/delivery combo), as she calls to let Liza know they’re going to unfreeze the partnership and asks Liza to be the face (and legs) of Infinitely 21’s Spring campaign. This phone call takes place in a very delicious looking cupcake shop where Liza and Charles are playing cards with his daughters in an all round delightful family situation that gives us a glimpse of the Miller-Brooks dynamic and makes the point that after a pretty terrible day, Liza is grateful to have this in her life to counter all the drama. I am also pleased to see that Bianca and Nicole have been located (meanwhile Caitlin, Beth and all of Josh’s friends remain stuck in the Upside Down or have become bunker people or something equally ominous I fear).

I am very into a number of aspects of this entire scene: a) Charles eating candy just up and gets me for some reason. I don’t know why, I can’t explain it, but it’s akin to seeing him walking round barefoot, it confuses my brain but I’m pretty sure I like it; b) Bianca is clearly the fave child with her cute little, 'I won’t take your last bag of candy Liza’ (lol at Charles’ 'wow’ when Liza offers that up for the taking btw, he knows that’s a serious gamble) though I was 100% Nicole as a kid; c) those kids are so not sleeping after all that sugar so I hope they’re staying at Pauline’s, while Charles’ dad game is strong with the breakfast cupcakes and; d) Charles kissing Liza on the cheek as she takes Shelly’s call is so damn sweet (pun intended) and supportive and I love that Liza suggesting he go stand with the girls in case she starts crying again indicates she has been an open mess around him. It’s writing like this that I really appreciate when there is so much to fit into an episode, because it provides insight into the kind of relationship Liza and Charles have when there simply isn’t time to show it.

While Liza is drowning her sorrows in candy and cupcakes, Maggie is at the brilliantly cringy art exhibit, 'Masculinity Detox: A Softer Male Gaze’. Look I have to be honest, I was really happy to see Oded Fehr because he can play a skeeze with charm like no other, but I don’t know how I feel about this entire plot. I can only comment on it from a straight perspective, so I am aware that I’m not really in a position to express an opinion in relation to the impact of showing a gay character thinking it’s a good idea to sample a penis every ten years or so, but I certainly feel like it’s problematic. In relation to this character though, it is consistent with Maggie sleeping with Tommy Minetti (and his sister Tammy) as a result of Berlin’s 'Take my Breath Away’ (I don’t know why I remember that, I can’t remember what month it is yet this stuff is right there) and there is no denying that there were actual sparks between Maggie and Rafael in the loft, the palpable chemistry that Grant Sloss’ eps seem to draw out on full display. 

Another dimension of Maggie that I love seeing emerge in this ep is that while she is usually a total badass in absolute control, every now and then we see that her judgement of character is just way off. There was Montana, those weirdo art collectors who actually collect artists and now this guy. I love that there’s a side of her that gets a bit blinded by flattery so she thinks 'what the hell?’ and the inevitable 'oh I CAN-NOT with this bullshit’ that follows, usually very publicly - Exhibit A: Maggie countering dirtbag Rafael’s, 'I’ll change you mind, I’m a flipper’ with a literal flip of the restaurant table once she realises she was simply another conquest. She seems so unflappable that these reminders that she’s fallible (I legit sometimes forget she’s not an actual super hero) are really great and maintains the 'flawed human’ aspect this show does so well. Honestly, other than Liza in a full tracksuit (sweat clothes?? I don’t know what it is in American but that cute pink sweat top and sweatpants combo) thinking they were being robbed and very confused by what had happened (so were we all lbh and Kinsey 9 LOL), it was Maggie equating sex with a man to being suffocated by a damp rug that was the highlight of this entire storyline for me. So damn funny.

Diana continues to have Liza’s back as she heads to the photo-shoot to steer her away from anything pleather (I may need a spin off of these two or some kind of one off special episode that’s just an elaborate Diana/Liza adventure, maybe rescuing Caitlin and co. from the bunker??), but not before we catch Kelsey still slaying it as a boss as she leaves a voicemail for the increasingly petulant Zane. Hearing her so firm and sure of herself is brilliant and the friendship vibe between Diana and Kelsey is peaking and I am loving every bit of it. I am so glad we heard Diana asking Kelsey how she took the lie, while Diana was able to forgive and move forward it would have been strange if we didn’t see her still processing some of it this week. Plus it’s Diana who points out that Zane’s tantrum is not because Liza is who he is upset with (and THANK YOU Kelsey for pointing out that Liza and Zane hardly know each other). 

Rather than letting the whole Zane thing fester away, Kelsey continues to impressively show initiative by going to Zane’s and offering to cook dinner (which Zane knows is a lol and it’s not long before he’s cooking, so well played Kels) to give him the opportunity to ask anything he wants and she will answer honestly. Once a proper explanation of why Liza lied and why Kelsey kept it from him is given, Zane suddenly reverts back to being a rational human being which is a relief because he was fast becoming the worst (though his comment that they were all bad liars, what now?? Yes they be cray but their lying game is strong friend). I am not particularly invested in Kelsey and Zane as a pairing but I always appreciate good storytelling and writing, and revisiting the fact Zane told her he loved her in past tense was an example of both of these. In order for any kind of relationship between these two to progress believably this needed to be addressed and hearing Kelsey call Zane out on his shitty and manipulative behaviour was great, but even greater was seeing Kelsey drop her guard.

Opening up about being mad at herself too and that maybe if they were both more open about their feelings they wouldn’t have wasted so much time denying how they really felt; that she felt, no, feels, the same way, present tense; the resetting of the timer so she can finish what she was going to say instead of taking the option of backing out; the honest conversation…you know what all this is? Growth. Kelsey Lorraine Peters, I am just so damn proud of you because I am the first to admit that I was not sure this character could be redeemed for me after last season but here we are. The emotion for this whole scene, you could feel it and Zane’s, 'oh that timer was for food’ was fab, before he just casually drops in, ’ I love you, but stay out of my kitchen’. OK.  Smitten mode activated.

Meanwhile, Diana is no doubt enjoying Shelly’s disbelief that she and Liza are almost the same age about as much as a root canal and Lauren appears with a 'bowflex for your face’ to combat the 5 o'clock jowls. Side note: Lauren and Liza really need to have a convo asap because I definitely feel like Lauren is not ok with the lie since it’s been revealed. Scene of the ep goes to Charles walking into the trailer (with flowers for Liza *swoon*) while Diana is flapping that contraption, before he slowly backs away and I tell you, I was howling so hard I almost ruptured something. Liza’s hideous romper/scooter combo is just no on many levels, she clearly feels super unnatural and the photographer snapping Charles and Liza, who are not expecting to be photographed while her being made up to look so young obviously makes them look very far apart in age and a bit awks means that yes, the daddy/daughter dance vibe is strong, though that line made me vom in my mouth a little bit.

Between shoots our extremely excellent villain Quinn pays Liza a visit to show her support and her well-polling glasses. Her real talk that the good news about the publishing reaction to Liza’s lie is that 'eight blocks outside of midtown, nobody cares’, is what we were all thinking and is def to be filed under 'G’ for Gold. So naturally Quinn drags her into a completely self-serving NY1 interview (bless Liza for thinking they wanted to interview her) and I freaking love Quinn, she’s such a delicious character coz she’s awful and funny and pretty and a total smart ass. I stan.

Before we jump to the second part of the photo-shoot I have to say that the very obvious ploy to try and juxtapose Liza’s relationships with Charles and Josh felt like it was trying too hard and was mostly disappointing to me because it felt so forced. I want to be very clear that it has nothing to do with who I like Liza with romantically, it would have felt contrived regardless and was the only aspect of the episode that I felt could have been crafted with a little more nuance. Or maybe that was the point? Perhaps the obviousness was part of the humour of it *shrug emoji* 

Either way, Liza is looking pretty exhausted when Josh turns up at the bar photo-shoot for reasons (whose name I am betting is Lauren Heller because there is no way he would just turn up and it is 100% in her wheelhouse to send him along after seeing the expressions on her face at the earlier shoot. I feel like this will def come out at some point and that really this whole shoot is serving to bring about stuff in future eps) and he doesn’t get to explain why he is there because he’s teasing Liza about being a model and I really do love their banter. Shelly has no idea what’s happening but she likes it and is thirsting pretty hard as she shakes his hand and I enjoyed hearing Liza talk about Josh as patient zero, her 'would you correct him?’ as she squeezed his cheeks made me smile. I know there have been a LOT of feelings about this scene expressed on social media, but I found the reminiscing, as Josh talked about how when he first met Liza he thought she was smart and sexy and he wanted to keep talking to her, really sweet (and quickly countered by his joking about being really drunk and it being dark).  

I actually love this dynamic so much and if this show had moved these two properly into the friendzone I would be celebrating this as a pin-up example of how to show romantic-platonic relationship transition. I still may, because at this stage there is nothing to indicate that Liza is anything but committed to Charles and Josh gave no impression of pining for her IMO, but as an experienced TV connoisseur (aka obsessive tv show watcher) I am not naive enough to think that this interaction mightn’t be setting in motion a resurgence of the triangle. By the same token, I do not see any triangle in play at the moment and one thing this show does excel at is surprising us, so time will tell, but I am going to keep my faith in the writers to tell good, compelling stories that stay true to all the excellent characters and narratives they have in front of them, as they have done up until now.

While Liza’s colleagues aren’t going to throw her under a bus, Quinn is not only more than happy to, I’m pretty sure she’d drive the bus herself if it served her own self interest.  Quinn saying that she found out about Liza’s lie the week before in The New Yorker article, ooomph, did you feel that? It was the wind being knocked out of all of us, along with poor Liza, as Quinn counters Liza’s suggestion that she knew the truth before she invested on live TV. It was evident fairly quickly that Quinn was using the interview as a campaign platform and Liza’s expression as Quinn betrays her so publicly is yet another credit to Sutton Foster���s incredible talent.

My Kelsey love was brought home this week when she met Quinn following the NY1 interview. She is unrelenting in her backing of Liza and unwavering in her stance to Quinn when she is asks her to fire Liza. From the moment she arrives Kelsey is so kick ass, she sees every one of Quinn’s attempts to bully her into getting what she wants and Kelsey’s, 'please don’t minimise the strength I bring to this meeting’ was such a hell yes moment. There is something so satisfying about seeing Quinn in a position where she needs something from Kelsey and Kelsey standing so firm. Kelsey’s 'are we done here?’ before walking away was such a power move and the transition into her own office the next day, with Charles reassuring her that she did the right thing, was wonderful. Seeing these two as equals, talking business with a bit of a mentor/mentee dynamic is a dream. It was on my season 6 wish list and I can’t wait to see more of it.

It is upon discovering that Audrey Colbert’s manuscript delivery cheque bounced and that Diana just heard one of the Jennifer’s, the sloppy one from publicity (this line, I swear and also I need to meet her), say her direct deposit didn’t go through that we discover Quinn has thrown the ultimate tantrum and pulled her funding and Mercurennial is broke.

Poor Liza feels that it’s all her fault, I’m sure partly because of the way her colleagues turn and look at her when she walks in the office and partly because it is, but Charles continues to play the role of ultimate supportive partner as they stroll down the street after work, pointing out that Liza attracted Quinn to the company in the first place (and we ALL know it was not the company she was attracted to). I am simple folk and Charles saying he’s spoken for as he put his arm around her made me melt into a puddle and if anyone is feeling concerned about Liza’s level of besotted, watch this final scene as Charles reassures her that, 'you know what’s great about the worst thing happening? There’s no place to go but up. Only good things ahead’. I may have actually died from the sweetness of the entire thing and Liza does exactly what any self respecting person would in that situation and kisses him before they walk off hand in hand. To live happily ever after…jokes LOL I mean it’s television and it turns out Infinitely 21 has the most efficient marketing team on the planet because their campaign is launched and whattya know, it looks as though Liza and her ex will be plastered all over the city. 

File under 'O’ for OF COURSE.

[writingonjorvik]

Ideas w/ Amelia

I haven’t really been up to a full-fledged Can We Discuss lately, but I didn’t want to just vanish for a while with my move coming up without posting anything. So, here’s a smattering of ideas I think would be cool for SSO.

Change the transport system for Jorvik’s overworld to work like Jorvik’s city, clicking on locations on the map to go to instead of scrolling through the list.

Fix the prices between the Friends app and the website so that they’re the same on both. Also reduce the price of Star Coins so they make sense with other pricing in the game and in the industry.

Co-op wagon races where one person maintains the horses and the other controls the wagon.

Make a permanent version of the Cloud Kingdom with a Mario Kart style race with pickups and other items for more interesting multiplayer racing, then bringing the system down to a select number of regular races, like the Big 7 (the seven races that are always for birthday races and the most iconic).

Switch to an expansion based model instead of weekly updates to reduce major burnout and turnaround on the dev team, since the weekly update model is regarded to be extremely demanding by the industry as a whole. Or instead of expansions, have quarterly updates that add a large amount of quests and content, with weekly patches being for events and bug fixes.

Make a forum or a subReddit to host more AMA style events, particularly since it seems the devs are now responding to all kinds of feedback, positive and negative, and I really appreciate this and want to be able to engage more with them outside their emailing system. Having a forum for ideas would also reduce the influx of emails they have to respond to and simplify the reporting system.

Have an ingame reporting system for players with a prompt and drop down dialogue before reporting to reduce spamming, but also overall simplify the process. Also, as illustrated by the photo mode, being able to screenshot from inside the game is totally an option now.

Allow players to change their emails without contacting support.

Update all horse models that have two to just having the new one. This will help simplify the image of the game and also open up space in a lot of cluttered stables. It also will reduce the feeling of SSO just making new horses to sell more horses, which considering that they cost $30 USD apiece, feels grimy. It also reduces the amount of modeling the devs have to do when coding for all the old models as well as new ones. Long term benefits.

For “luxury”/expensive models, have more breed specific races. If you’re spending $30+ USD on a horse, you ought to get some other content. That’s as much as some game’s expansion packs.

Now that jumping is free, leading should be too. I said this before, and I’ll say it again, being able to use leading in content is an outstanding option and it shouldn’t continue to be locked behind a pay wall.

Now that jump is free, expand the free to pay area to include all of Silverglade. Don’t expand the quest list, but expand the area. Considering SSO’s two main features are its story and exploration, being able to explore all of Silverglade, make friends, look around, and meet NPCs feels like more of an incentive to buy membership than having such a restricted region. If there’s no increase to quests or dailies, being a free member is still less exciting than having membership, and they won’t have access to other areas like the Harvest Counties or South Hoof. But being able to see the areas they could unlock feels like more of an incentive to buy than the area that they have now.

Add an experience multiplier based on player level to horse experience. This gives players more of a reason to level, and it also helps balance out experience gain for higher level players who tend to have lots of horses. It also reduces the need for the devs to balance out experience gain. Also this tech is already in the game as shown by the old system where the starter horse received more experience in races than any other type of horse.

Give the player the option to have multiple character slots. This provides the game with so much replay-ability with out the price tag of additional membership.

Allow players to make up their own character name, and change it. There would need to be a new team dedicated to approving names, and players could have temporary names in the SSO system in the meantime, but it would allow players to personalize their characters more, and for players who joined before a wide range of names were an option, allow them to pick names they would actually want.

Update races with set pieces, like the Baroness Race Track. SSO adds new set pieces all the time for races, having two versions of the Baroness Race Track shouldn’t be that hard. If parts of the map can be reworked to have temporary obstacles for championships and races that only affect the racers, then this should be possible for this race too, and other old races.

Bring back the Scarecrow Hill Race. Again.

Update the Social tab.

Update the Help tab.

Capes, cloaks, and hoodies that take up shirt and hat spot, with the option to remove the hood.

Full body dresses and robes that take up the shirt and pants slot.

More mane hair styles. This one has been promised for a while.

Have official social media correspondents on Twitter and Tumblr. It’s almost 2019 and your Twitter is dead. It’s marketing 101 to have correspondents on all major platforms, and you don’t. This is your best access to community and marketing, why aren’t you doing this?

Stop with the “Girls > Boys” mentality. All genders are equal, and what you’re actually doing isn’t helping the feminist cause and it’s pandering. Take one from Shannon Hale on this. Boys can enjoy feminine things, and pressing this divide only hurts the argument. It also drives away potential customers.

Take the time to release new areas properly. South Hoof and Mistfall are aesthetically beautiful, but are barren gameplay wise, and we’re now going to have to wait years to see them finished.

Stop adding factions if players can’t 100% them.

Rebalance poorly balanced factions like the Sunfields and the Goldspurs.

Allow players to make their own orienteering races with friends using the waypoint tech.

Update inaccessible locations on the map list of locations. Some of these locations have been inaccessible for over four years now, like the “Not all that glitters is gold” location in Dino.

The player almost never takes damage. There’s no need for two health bars.

Make the library at the Winery useful and let us reread lore books to help remember story info between when that story info was used last and when it’s being brought back into the story.

A thrift store that lets you buy back items from quests, using the tech from the Lifetime store.

Have increased option control for players with good gaming rigs, like allowing for an increased render distance or being able to decide how many players are rendered at once and to what detail. SSO already has a loading period for adding detail to players, so for players with less advanced hardware, being able to lower down this detail rendering would make it easier to visit higher population areas. And for players with better rigs, it makes the game prettier.

If the devs want to promote less populated servers, then host events on those servers.

Redo Nic’s camp to use the Rescue Ranch system. Generally add more Rescue Ranch style quests in other areas.

Let the player jump while on foot. It adds almost nothing to gameplay, but it makes them feel like clunky. It also would help community classics like foot races.

Add left saddlebags.

Stylists should be able to mirror mane styles, so that the mane can fall on either side.

Players should either have to read quest dialogue after level 9 to know what they have to do or they shouldn’t. Quit waffling.

Achievements should have rewards, like titles, unique clothes, or access to hidden quests.

Bring back hidden quests.

If there are going to be cold resistant horses, then there should be other horses with abilities like that. Heat resistant horses, horses good at climbing with pass that only they can climb at full speed, horses that can cross bodies of water without a meter. If you’re going to make a system like that, then you gotta flesh it out.

And now I’ve been working on this list for over two hours, so I’m gonna leave it there so I still have something to talk about in Can We Discuss. Cool. Bye.