#correct me if I'm wrong but this is stuff we didn't get to see in the manga

[pupkinpumpkin]

Oh fuck I completely forgot

K, so, in Asunder, there's a scene where Lord Seeker Lambert comes to Evangeline's room and gives her 4 vials of lyrium for her trip

Later on in Asunder, when the team is coming back from the Western Approach,

1) Evangeline (Or Rhys, I don't remember who) notes that it's been two weeks since they left

2) When Rhys tries to convince Evangeline to run away with him, she shows him 3 empty vials and 1 full vial of lyrium (I think, the 4th vial might also be a bit empty). She says she's addicted and will be useless in a week. She also repeats this later on to Wynne

So we can conclude:

- Once a Templar is addicted, it takes about a week for the withdrawal symptoms to come in. Evangeline doesn't abuse the stuff though, and she shows a lot of restraint, so this might be the wait time for an average Templar, but it's probably much shorter for a Templar who's actively abusing lyrium

- We have no idea if Evangeline's taking lyrium one vial at a time or taking micro doses, but three full vials of lyrium are gone in the span of two weeks, meaning she's taking this shit pretty regularly. To my knowledge, we've never had an idea of how often Templars are taking lyrium, so this is great information to have

I can't remember fully where it's said, so correct me if I'm wrong, but Cullen, when talking about becoming a Templar, says that after their Vigil, they get a philter (a box of stuff that prepares the lyrium), and their first draught of lyrium, so Evangeline probably has this on her during her trip and philters are needed in order to properly take lyrium

Now for the iffy part

- In Origins, Alistair says he's never taken lyrium. This is a lie, but probably one he didn't know about

- The Joining requires lyrium as an ingredient, so Alistair definitely ingested at least a little bit

- Alistair is able to use his powers as a Templar for an entire year

As much as I'd like this to mean Templars definitely don't need to be taking lyrium as often as they do, there could be multiple reasons for this

- The amount of time lyrium works for a Templar simply got retconned and they do actually need to take lyrium often. Boo

- Bc The Joining changes a Grey Warden forever, it's possible that the lyrium is now permanently in a Grey Warden's veins just like the taint is, meaning Alistair could use his Templar powers forever if he wanted

- Alistair is just the Maker's specialist little boy and gets to be exempt from things like withdrawals because of his family's bloodline.

Also, in the Silent Grove, like 8 years after Origins I think, when Alistair, Varric, Isabela, and Maevaris are surrounded by mage occultists or whatever, Alistair uses his Templar powers. Someone asks him how he did this, and he just says something like "I knew we were coming to Tevinter so I decided my Templar powers would be useful, so I got back into practice"

We never find out what this means

Whether he decided to take a little bit of lyrium, or is just cool enough to not need it, is up to anyone

We also have no idea how long Cullen is able to use his Templar powers in Inquisition since I'm pretty sure we never see him in action besides in his personal quest when trying to find Samson, but he'd literally have no reason to use Templar powers on other Templars, so who knows?

So in all, we've basically no clue how often Templars NEED to take lyrium and no official date for how long their powers last after they stop taking it, but we do know ~generally~ how often they're taking it, which I don't believe we knew before

I personally like to think that Templars could just take lyrium like once a year but the Chantry likes to have them on a leash so they make them take it way more often so they get addicted because the Chantry is terrible

But ya, that one line made me spiral

[stressedbeetle]

I honestly love all of Koby, Helmeppo and Garp content we get in the opla, like it's so much fun seeing Koby's character development as he begins to become more confident and stand up for himself

[loving-jack-kelly]

yesterday sucked so bad it was the longest day ever I cried at work and I slept like a rock bc I was so exhausted and then today I woke up and it was literally like. the sun is shining the birds are chirping it feels like fall I made birthday plans with my best friend for march that I'm so excited for the thing that was stressing me out so bad yesterday at work is fixed and over with and everybody is telling me I did well with it even though it felt like I did not in the moment AND I my adoption application was accepted at one of the shelters I applied to so I got invited to their adoption event to meet their dogs tomorrow AND I'm seeing hozier in a week and two days and that does not feel real but also it actually hit for properly for the first time today :) how the tables have turned oh and ALSO I'm watching a horror movie with emma tonight and last night I think it would have killed me bc I was so tired and empty by the time I got home but today I am Hyped for it

[visdiefje]

Man I can't wait until I can recover alone for a while

[comicaurora]

I've been reading some stuff on punitive justice, and it made something click for me that I've observed a lot online but haven't been able to put into words before.

When someone does something wrong, that's bad, and the damage it does needs to be repaired while the person needs to try to do better in future to minimize repeating harm. We learn it in preschool - say sorry, don't do it again. If they keep at it, remove them from the situation where they can do the harm until they prove they're responsible enough to go back in.

So if it turns out someone DIDN'T do anything wrong, that should be a relief! There's no damage to fix, no internal errors to correct. Less work for everybody, literally no harm done. False alarm, all good.

The thing I've observed is, lots of people want them to have done something wrong. There's almost disappointment when it turns out there's no harm done. And I think that's because of this general undercurrent of punitive justice as morally righteous and desirable: someone does something wrong, you get to punish them. Turns out they're innocent? That's disappointing. Find another reason you get to punish them, or find another bad person you get to punish. But at the core of it is that desire to punish someone. Someone you can hurt in a way that makes you a better person for hurting them.

This particular brand of almost cannibalistic pseudo-justice is super common in tumblr, one of the most ostensibly liberal spaces on the internet; I see more borderline savagery in online discourse here than in the actually toxic parts of the internet that are just openly cruel for cruelty's sake. It's always thrown me for a loop, and has frankly also hurt me, because on the rare occasions I get personally dogpiled, it only actually stings when it makes me worry that I've legitimately hurt someone. If I did something wrong, or more realistically when I inevitably do something wrong, that would make it good and right for people to give me shit about it every day until I'm dead.

The thing that clicked for me most recently was this bit in Ijeoma Oluo's Be A Revolution:

Punitive justice is specifically, uniquely appealing to people who have suffered injustices. Of course it's the Tumblr zeitgeist. Everyone here is a marginalized person failed by at least one system. Punishing someone for perceived injustice is how someone the system has deemed worthless proves their value in blood, even if the person being punished hasn't harmed you directly - even if they haven't harmed anyone. "Righteous" anger isn't about the target in these cases, it's about the inflicter. This is how much my pain is worth.

And that kind of violent validation is so alluring and so very dangerous. It seeks an outlet, wearing the justification of justice. Who's in reach? Who's an acceptable target this week? What's a good reason to use?

Is there anything they could do that would make me stop?

[anaconamor]

as time gets close - jude bellingham x reader.

quick sum: almost close to your due date, what is wrong with a late-night grocery trip with your very excited and anxiously waiting fiance?

wc: 1.8k | masterlist | jude's masterlist

psa 🗣️: a little dad! jude blurb bc we haven’t seen much of this on the timeline!! like always hope you enjoy 🤍

"why are you bending down? you know that is bad for you," you rolled your eyes at your fiance's scolding, grabbing the keys from the floor. "i dropped the keys by accident," you say as you pick the correct key that belonged to the lock. jude rubbed your belly, ensuring you were okay before helping you out to the car, the reusable bags tucked underneath his arm.

"did you bring the list?" you ask him seeing as he nods and pulls it out from the pockets of his hoodie. "i did. i also brought you some snacks because you didn't eat much after getting some nausea," you pouted your lips leaning up to peck his cheek thanking him. "what would i do without you?" you tease, a playful scoff falling from his lips.

"what makes you think you'd be without me? i'm attached to you for life remember?" he grabs your left hand kissing over your ring finger as he gives you a knowing look. you feel as he brings your intertwined hands to your belly, "and you're carrying my baby in there."

"really i couldn't tell," you say sarcastically.

"let's make it quick because my feet already hurt and i want to sleep," you advised letting out a tired yawn. despite being close to your due date, you still had some work to do before maternity leave. making calls to set meetings, attending them over zoom, filing paperwork, in charge of making sure the firm doesn't backfire, and planning some stuff out for your wedding.

jude had told you multiple times to take it easy, but placing that aside, he always helped you unconditionally. in the shower, when cooking, taking care of chores, before bed, and attending all your doctor's appointments. he was your personal midwife and wanted to take care of you the most he could.

you remembered to look on his face when you told him you were expecting, the tears on his face as he spoke to your barely bump all night and traced his hands on your belly. singing and humming lullabies and stories about his day. since then he wanted to protect you the best he could.

going to the grocery store at this time was nothing new, in fact, it became so prevalent now that you were pregnant because you craved everything. making jude do a late run to pick up your cravings or groceries for the upcoming weeks. the same store, at the same time.

you placed your purse on the cart, snuggling into your jacket as the cold air inside the store blew you away. you followed jude who picked out veggies and greens for his meal prepping, helping him tie the bags and weigh them on the digital scale that produced labels. you watched in awe as your boyfriend picked out three pairs of different flowers. "what are these for?" you asked, smelling the flowery scent.

"for the house. we need to replace the old ones that dried out," jude says with a shy grin. "you were the one who said plants and flowers bring a sense of home into our house, " jude recalled your words, kissing your temple, pushing the cart since it became a bit heavier. "i did say that didn't i? well i wasn't wrong," you shrug, wrapping a hand around his bicep as he trailed along isles to pick up the different items on the list.

he did all the heavy lifting as you reached and picked stuff up from your level, like spices and eggs. you turn your back for a few seconds to retrieve some milk and coffee beans for the morning, to see the cart filled with pop tarts and other salty snacks. "no no no," you shake your head, as jude whines out protests. "y/n we need them! they're even on sale!"

“jude, i don’t care! we just got some three days ago!,” you say laughing, putting back the box of pop tarts. “y/n i’m telling you right now, in a couple of hours or days you’re gonna have me running back here for them,” jude states following behind you.

“am not!” you quickly defend, bringing a hand to your aching back. “are too! last night you had me running out for cheetos. what’s it going to be today? kettled popcorn? or wingstop?” jude teased making you rolls your eyes and focusing back on to what needed to get done. “don’t forget we need to pick some of that acid reflex stuff for you, to get rid of the heartburn,” jude reminds you, taking the cart and walking out of the pop tarts isle, sneaking a box in for you.

“what’s left on the list?” you ask him, taking out a small snack you had in your purse and offering some to jude. “we need bananas, strawberries, orange juice, and meats for upcoming dinners…” jude reads the list one by one, using his index finger as he goes along.

you pass by an isle grabbing some cereal and granola for your yogurts and bowls. jude insisting he grabs his favorite too since you refuse to share from your part. as you wait by the deli section jude come behind you, grabbing your belly and relieving some of the pressure.

you immediately lay your head back on his shoulder sighing in relief, hearing jude chuckle and place a kiss on your head. “almost there darling,” he whispered running one of his hands along your tummy. “i know what you’re doing jude… and if this baby starts kicking right now i’ll leave you here,” you warn.

“i’m just trying to help you love. doesn’t it feel good?” he reprimanded as you nodded. “yes but not when she starts kicking, i swear she does it on purpose and it’s your fault. like she knows it you,” you said feeling your lower back less tense and heavy. "i kid you not, last night she almost made me pee from this hard kick!"

"sounds to me like we have a mini footballer coming into our lives," said jude continuing to hold your belly since you were tired and your baby was heavy. he had read the method online with other tips and tricks. jude got more into reading when he found out you were pregnant, wanting to know every effect and secret to ensure a healthy and safe pregnancy.

"let's hope not, i don't think i could handle cleaning up broken stuff around the house every day," you sigh, releasing yourself from his hold because you began to get hot. you didn’t understand how your body was so quick to adjust and then de-adjust from hot and cold, but it was so easy and it drove you mad sometimes.

“you okay?” jude softened his eyes as you let out a breath of despair, holding your hand and feeling a sit squeezed tightly against his. “yeah just got a mini cramp,” you held your back and practiced breathing methods you learned, “i’m good, i promise,” you kiss his hand before retrieving the meats from the butcher. "we'll get home soon, and i promise you a warm tea and massage okay?"

"did you want chocolate or strawberry milk?" jude held up the pint containers, "strawberry, we still have chocolate milk at home," you said, jude nodding as he quickly picked the orange juice and your favorite yogurts. "i was never a fan of sweet or flavored milk but these are soooo good," you exaggerated, jude smiling hard down at you.

"never a fan? these were my childhood as a kid! my mum used to buy these or the powder to make it ourselves," jude says recalling a old memory thinking of his babygirl. "you reckon she'll like them too?" jude spoke softly as he saw you give him a fast nod. if there was one thing loved it was discussing his babygirl. he was so anxious and wanted to meet her. the itch in his teeth getting bigger as every day passes.

to hold her while she slept, hug her to keep her warm, coddle her to sleep, feed her. he was ready for it all. he loved to shop and spoil her already. her carrier, crib, different books, toys, and stuffed animals like he had as a kid. she didn't know it yet, but she would be jude's second best friend. firstly you. always you.

they saw if one ever finds love at first sight, and jude definitely did with you. a smile so bright, eyes gleaming with happiness, a stranger who he fell madly with almost immediately after hearing her say hello. through ups and downs, you found your way to each other and since then, it's a love story for the movies. jude had his career blowing, a beautiful fiancee, and now a baby on the way. what more could he want?

as jude helped bag the groceries into the recycled bags you had, you paid and thanked the cashier whom you got close with on nights like these. asking how her day was, about her kids, anything special, always something to distract her. "you two have a safe night!" she yelled as you turned and thanked, wishing her a good night as well.

after you insisted on helping, you carried four light bags as jude carried most bags since he hated double trips. you guys quickly unpacked everything, longing and wishing to get into bed. you ensure the stove and other appliances are off, grabbing your tea and heading upstairs with jude.

"lay here for me," jude instructed, grabbing some cream and begging to smooth and massage out the muscles on your legs and shoulders. "after we have her, i promise i'll return every single thing you did for me while i was pregnant," you say struggled and full pleasure as the tension went away at jude's fingertips. "oh i'm fully expecting the injured boyfriend method again," jude teased as he finished up.

he grabbed a new book, laying on your side as you brushed and played with a few curls on his head, twirling them around your finger as he breathed softly. he looked so gentle and full of excitement like this, reading to your babygirl, who sensed her daddy's voice as she kicked. she knew, she always knew.

he applied your belly oil to prevent any stretch marks and kissed the small ones that formed along the way. jude cherished your body for carrying his baby in there, for being able to give and bring a new life into his and yours. you laid on your side, jude's chest connecting and fitting the crevasse on your back, holding your tummy as in a way to keep it safe.

you placed and locked hands with his, as jude wishing you a goodnight, peering kissed on your shoulders then finally lips, moaning in delight, a tiny groan leaving his lips. "i love you so much darling," he whispered, kissing your temple and snuggling into you more. "iloveyoutoojude," you said fast, with a playful smile on your lips as you felt a familiar sensation of a certain craving. "okay now i do want some pop tarts..."

"are you serious right now?"

[cobragardens]

Notes on the Scene in Job's Basement

Crowley is not tempting Aziraphale here. He's experimenting on him.

Getting Aziraphale to sin, or even getting him drunk, is not Crowley's intent in this scene. Eating food, taking pleasure in food, drinking alcohol, and even being drunk are not sins in most of Judaism or Christianity (and they're certainly not sins in British Christianity, regardless of any church's doctrine). When Aziraphale turns down alcohol, Crowley just suggests he try food instead; so it's not important to Crowley what Aziraphale tries, but it is important to him that he try something.

This scene is also the first time (chronologically) we see that Crowley likes to drink and likes to be drunk.

We know from

and from

as well as from Book Omens and Word of God that angels have no instinct beyond curiosity pulling them toward eating or toward gender. From this we can reasonably presume they have no instinct toward Beverages either.

That means that in this moment--

--Crowley is very likely the only metaphysical entity he knows on either side of the divide, or even knows of, who has ever experienced a physical pleasure.

And he probably has some Lingering Questions about it, like we all did the first time a physical pleasure blew our minds. Like,

Is it this strong for everyone?

Is there something wrong with me?

Am I going to hurt myself if I do this, like, a lot?

And it's not like the poor creature can ask anyone, because the answers for humans aren't necessarily going to apply to him.

So when he sees an opportunity, Crowley gets that one angel he knows who'll talk to him to try a human thing, and then he watches to see if physical pleasure hits the angel as hard as it hit him.

And that's why he looks so creepily pleased when it does.

Apparently it is this strong for everyone and there isn't anything wrong with him. Now he can relax and get sloshed without worrying, and he even has someone to talk to about how rad human stuff is.

A Dip Into Speculation

We know because we're shown this isn't the first time Crowley has gotten drunk that, watching Aziraphale, Crowley understands what he's seeing. I think it's really interesting that Crowley doesn't laugh at Aziraphale at any point during this scene, and he doesn't correct the way he's eating, either.

Maybe it's because this is what it was like for Crowley the first time. Maybe he got so drunk he passed out and woke up in a puddle of his own sick. Maybe he got so drunk he passed out and didn't wake up at all, and there was Paperwork and he had to get used to a whole new corporation just when he'd got the hang of having legs in the old one. Maybe somebody had to show him how to use a fork or whatever they had going on for eating utensils in Ancient Mesopotamia. I distinctly remember having to learn as a small child to chew with my mouth closed. There is every possibility Crowley doesn't consider the way Aziraphale is eating to be worthy of ridicule because whatever Crowley did the first time was worse.

Maybe he wants to leave Aziraphale set up for later embarrassment over his table manners. Aziraphale was a judgy bitch about the wine.

Or maybe it's something like Let him have this one. There can be rules to it later; let him just enjoy it, once, like a little kid with both fists in their birthday cake.

Maybe it's desire. There is some textual evidence for this. Once Aziraphale learns to eat properly, the way he does it is very attractive, and we know Crowley loves watching him do it.

I don't think it's overreaching even to interpret David Tennant's physical performance of Crowley watching Aziraphale eat as one of sensual or erotic pleasure. I mean--

I'm not saying it absolutely has to be erotic, but it's not a reach, or even a full extension of the elbow, to read it that way.

There's another meta somewhere [I'll link it when I find it again; if you know this meta, please drop it in comments!] that discusses how this exchange in Job's basement is filmed like an erotic scene.

Like Crowley, we all want to kiss this face.

Aziraphale isn't eating prettily, but he's eating lewdly, ravenously, desirously, and it's lit like romantic sex, not like gluttony. Whether that's funny or poignant or hot may depend on the viewer. Here's how Crowley's handling it:

Srs tho, any frame of this scene could have been painted by Artemisia Gentileschi.

Or maybe--and this is my favorite of the available interpretations--maybe this is what it was like for Crowley the first time and he doesn't interfere because he wants Aziraphale to come out of this as someone who's had the same experience Crowley's had so Crowley won't be so totally alone in having had it.

[trashfangirlsworld]

Hello! I've been inactive due to the current events in the mcyt community, but I've been keeping up with the qsmp admin situation and I thought I'd share some opinions because the amount of doomposting I've seen the last few weeks has been more than I've seen in any fandom in a while and I feel like it's reached the point where people really need to chill the fuck out because they're not thinking straight and actively not helping. Everything I'm gonna say is based on stuff I've seen on both tumblr and twitter.

they should not promote/release merch! : one of the things that baffles me the most tbh; how do you expect any employee to be payed then? Merch is so far the only big source of income for the server besides q's own cc salary or whatever income they get through the official qsmp channel on twitch and youtube (which I don't think is a lot). "I get that they said they have no funds, but still it doesn't feel right"... sorry but at this point I don't know what to tell you, do you expect them to pull money out of their asses? You can't demand that they stop making merch and then complain that they can't afford the twitter admins at the same time. If you don't feel comfortable buying anything from them it's fine obviously, but if your reason for it is that you're helping the admins then I have bad news for you. I have seen people propose that quackity sets up a patreon, and while I think it would be a good idea, I understand why he's not doing it, since with the merch he can at least give something back to the people that choose to support his project instead of people just giving him money for free, especially with what's happening now. Also with how much hate he's been receiving simply for the merch I can't imagine that a patreon would be recieved well.

we don't know if the money is going to the admins/ they should not use pomme's likeness! : the money is definitely going to go to the employees and admins because otherwise the server would not last. And as much as I understand people feeling protective over pomme's admin, quackity studios is very much allowed to sell merch of the character because it is not the likeness of the admin, it's a minecraft model made by the people that work there. Would you have rathered they skip her character entirely? Do you really think that would have been okay?. Also correct me if I'm wrong, but I've seen posts and tweets saying that pomme's admin has been confirmed to come back with the other eggs whenever it happens by pierre, who talked with her admin.

the admins of the update accounts got fired, it means they want to fire everyone, they aren't making things better! : it sucks that the updates accounts had to end and I feel bad for every twitter admin that clearly cared a lot about the project, but unfortunately it had to happen if there simply isn't enough money to pay them adequately like they deserved and ultimately the update accounts were not essential to keep the project going, so it makes sense that they were let go unfortunately. This is not gonna be the case for the egg admins because if they got fired (which they didn't), the server would basically end. Just because a cc does not know when they will be back does not mean it's not gonna happen. Just because tubbo randomly said that he's not sure if they will be back does not mean they were fired; tubbo is normally not a reliable source of information, even less so when he's been live nonstop for the past 20 days, which is prior to everything happening. If you genuinely didn't expect a reduction in non essential staff considering everything, then you have unreasonable expectations on how this stuff goes. As I write this, I'm seeing people saying that "they would understand this decision if q had set up a patreon to pay the admins", and once again I don't understand how people don't realize why quackity might not be keen on the idea of having his fans pay his own employees for his own project instead of, you know, doing it himself; and, again, do not fool yourself into thinking it would be recieved well. That being said, it's fair to criticize how everything was communicated to the admins, but I'll get to this in more detail later.

quackity should not have uninstalled social media, he's trying to avoid everything! : he's not avoiding anything, he's been off social media for a while now, which is why it took him that long to remove wilbur from the server. He has every right to not want to look at social media, as his focus should be on restructuring his server instead of doomscrolling on twitter because people think he needs to see how much people dislike him. The only people that he should talk to are those that have important information to tell him, like josè with the document. He explicitly said on stream where to contact him if you have helpful information and I'm sure that despite multiple well liked posts saying not to spam his email, people are definitely doing it anyway, which is probably gonna slow the whole thing down even more. I hope josè's document is able to be seen with pierre's help as well.

quackity studios is not communicating with their employees and leaving them in the dark and that's not okay : I agree with this. i think a huge chunk of doomposting lately has been due the lack of communication not with the audience, but with the admins, and they deserve to know what is happening behind the scenes more then us since this is about their current or future job.... that being said, I do kind of understand why they're being so secretive and shutting everyone out, and that's due to all the "leaks" that have been spread online. I understand the anger but I really wish some people would realize that discussing leaked bts lore stuff in ccs discord servers does not help the situation at all and instead makes it seem like they're only doing this to rile up the fandom against quackity studios by using the lore of people's fav characters.

At the end of the day, I think people just aren't used to dealing with a situation that does not have a clear cut solution and someone to clearly hate, so the result is this doomposting and the over aggressiveness toward anything related to the project. Personally, I haven't witnessed anything that made me lose faith in the qsmp like some people have been saying, as every change that we've seen so far coincides with what quackity said on stream a while ago. I only wish things were communicated properly to the admins clearly, as they're the ones most affected, so I hope that's resolved soon. Ultimately quackity is singlehandedly restructuring the server from basically zero, has had to fire people that were misusing money and power and, depending on what josè's document said, is probably gonna have to fire some more. This is not an easy process, nor a quick one, you're not gonna hear about sunshine and rainbows for a while and doomposting about everything you hear because you expected quick change is useless. Think before you speak, have a clear head and most importantly have empathy.

[fivewholeminutes]

How to avoid being spoiled with ST members' identities

A not so short guide for tumblr newcomers

Hello new fans and (probably) tiktok refugees! This is a guide on how to enjoy sleep token online without being spoiled and also, a guide on how not to be a twat at the same time.

It is rather long, but please give it a chance. If not for you, then for other people who do not want to be spoiled.

I was thinking about making a reminder post about it for ages and recent post from @zelink-stan02 inspired me to make it sooner!

Tumblr is one of not many places online where the chances of you getting jumpscared with the guys' faces and names are minimal. You're not completely safe here, but it's still way better than on other platforms. And a lot of users try to keep it that way.

So, the basics for people who want to avoid spoilers online!

No twitter. That is a place of no honour. No exceptions. Nothing good ever comes from ST twitter. Also i am not calling it x.

Tiktok is also not safe. But most of you probably know that.

Pinterest is a super quick way to see all their faces.

Idk about facebook, but i bet there are morons commenting with their legal names there too. Like on twitter.

Googling is very tricky. Image results will most likely show you their faces among 20 first photos and if you do google them. Well. The main search used to show the names as suggestions up here before; I'm glad to see that for now this is fixed:

BUT LO AND BEHOLD. Pictures tab gives you a treat (derogatory) of a full vessel's name RIGHT THERE:

First suggestion. They're not even trying. So yeah, googling is very tricky.

I didn't scroll further to the right, but i bet ii's name is there too. (Their names are spoiled most often, cause they're writing the songs.)

7. If you look for the lyrics, google sometimes shows vessel and ii's legal names in songwriters' credits. I haven't seen it recently, but it doesn't mean you won't see [redacted] instead of "Vessel 1" and so on in the credits. Try not to scroll too far when checking the lyrics. I think Apple music shows their names in lyics all the time, someone correct me if I'm wrong though.

FORTUNATELY,

if you want pictures, band info, older rituals' shenanigans etc. etc., we have real mvp's here on tumblr!

@sleepanonymous has it all. Including an archive of band-related stuff and also older (mostly) vessel's stuff without any names or faces revealed. Just older songs, if you're curious! Sleep Anon has a neat google drive archive too. Please check the tags and other links in their pinned post!

We also have another pillar of our community here, @thesleeptokenarchive, who shares older rituals' details, song release dates and many other important information and dates.

My dear friend @a-s-levynn created this beautiful archive with band pictures for people who want to find that very specific picture without having their faces spoiled. Behold, the Sleep Token Reference Archive (STRA). Perfect for artists, but not only!

Beautiful people @kaddyssammlung, @vulcanette and @chaosandchaos are posting cool band photos they find regularly. Others too, but these three are the most active! We're also lucky to have @hecetas here, posting their original photos of the band (and not only!)

Also, The Choir is not anonymous. The band itself shared their actual name, Espera, and the ladies are not faceless. It was their decision, band supported it, so you don't need to worry to keep them anonymous.

Last but not least! How not to be a twat in the sleep token fandom space on tumblr:

Do not tag any band-related stuff with their names or older projects' names.

Do not post photos of their faces and tag it as the band or band members.

If you want to sceam about the love you have for that one older Vessel's project, the not solo one, you can do it here: @wings-of-clay

If you are a curious being and face/names reveals don't mean much to you, you can always scream about their past projects with your closest friends in the DMs. Or ask literally anyone here if they want to talk about those things without revealing those things' names publicly. Most of us have their faces and names spoiled anyway. But trust me, you don't need to put any names for us to understand what you mean.

Not exactly a tumblr thing, but! One of the band members streams on twitch. It is an unspoken rule to NOT mention anything band-related in the chat. No "worship", no band name, other members' names, nothing. He wants to keep those things separate. You get blocked there or he stops streaming for everyone if you're too pushy.

And remember folks, digging too much into their personal lives guarantees a court case against you!

I'm not joking. There is a person who is going to face charges for being way too parasocial and stalker-y about them. Do not be like that person. This applies to all public figures, not only sleep token. But some people take anonymity as a challenge to dig even deeper for all their info.

Last, but not least! I have the names spoiled and i don't mind talking about old projects and stuff. So I'm here for you if you want to google something, but are afraid of a face reveal, or if you just wanna talk about the older stuff (tho i admit, i don't know much about previous bands/projects of all of them). However, I will not be engaging in anything related to their private lives or families and I will block you on spot if you mention anything like this to me.

[mj0702]

@tasha95 put in some effort and thought of something... so I put some effort in too

“Bubs.... come on... final is starting” you heard Lucy yell from the living room where she sat on the couch Ona leaning against her

On the other side there where Laura and Keira leaving a small space for you in the middle

“Yeah... don't stress the cook” you yelled from the kitchen

“She making popcorn in the microwave” your sister mumbled rolling her eyes which caused a round of chuckling from the others

“And you won't get any” you said as you basically threw yourself in the space they left for you

“Play nice you two” Keira scolded you both smiling as she took a handful out of your popcorn bowl

“So... Laura... you're sitting here with one spaniard and three english... who are you rooting for?” you smirked challenging

“As an Austrian I support Austria” Keiras girlfriend smirked back

“It's the Euros Laura... not the World cup... you Austrians only want to rule the world... not quite successful at that but you tried before... The final is Spain against england... I don't see any Austria... I mean we do sport the red and white colours but.... england or Spain?” you kept poking her

“I'm Switzerland” the Austrian player didn't give in on your poking

“No you're not... england or Spain” you smirked loving the relationship that formed over the past couple of month with the new girlfriend of your “mom”

“Then Germany...” Laura smirked

“Uuuuhhh... I don't see any Germany... well...” you tilted your head “... so didn't the english Troops 1945... wasn't their leader an Austrian?”

“Bitsy!!” Keira exclaimed shocked

“Bubs!!” Lucy squeaked just as shocked

“Of the english troops? How should I know... isn't that your countries history?” the Austrian said her eyes glinting challenging

“Oh we had a fantastic leadership 1945... King Georg VI was an amazing Leader... not to mention his Daughter... did you know that the late Queen Elisabeth met the man your country pissed off by not accepting him at that art school and pissed him off so bad that he wanted to take over the world?” you grinned back

“You just wait little Scott... we'll succeed one day” Laura smirked

“That'll only happen when the last Piper stopped playing” you said putting on your thickest Scottish accent

“You two are unbelievable” Keira groaned but at the same time she was happy and grateful that you accepted Laura so easily

“Back to the original question... england or Spain” you nearly crawled over Keira to get into Lauras face

“Since Spain is a little outnumbered here... I'm going for the red and yellow colours” the Austrian quickly snipped your nose making you scrunch up

“You suck up... you don't need to support the enemy to get on Onas good side... just bake her some Catalonian stuff” you said trying not to sneeze when you felt Ona lightly kick your ass

“Excuse me?” the spaniard said fake upset “Laura can support whoever she wants”

“Not if it's the wrong whoever” you exclaimed holding on to Keira so Ona won't push you off the couch

“Whomever” your sister corrected you smirking

“You didn't correct her” you whined as Kei started to laugh

“English isn't her first language...” Lucy pointed out as she pulled Ona tighter into her embrace

“It isn't mine either!” you exclaimed

“If you say now your first language is Scottish I'll kick you into next century Bitsy” Keira looked at you darkly and you decided to better shut up and cuddle up against the blonde smiling sweetly

“And you called me a suck up” Laura mumbled under her breath seeing how you relaxed against her girlfriend your legs over Onas your feet against Lucys thighs taking up the whole couch

“At least I just suck up and don't suck her” you smirked at the Austrian who bursted out laughing while Keira slapped the back of your head lightly

“Touché Schnucki.. touché” the Austrian laughed as she got more settled behind her girlfriend

“This is painful to watch” you groan against Keiras chest as England gave away another opportunity to score

“It's pretty level...” Lucy tried to find something positive from the first 45 minutes

“Level?? Them spaniards just didn't lead by 18 – nil because of Jordan... he saved them asses...” you got upset

“Bitsy... can you get me another glass of wine please?” Keira gently nudged you feeling how your anger boiled to the surface

“You can...” you started to argue

“Bitsy...” the blonde interrupted you quite firmly “... could you PLEASE get me another glass of wine?”

“Red?” you grumbled knowing Keira send you to calm down

“I'm sorry...” Ona said quietly the second you left the room

“Huh?” Keira looked at her friend confused while Lucy shook her head

“I'm sorry Spain is upsetting her” the spaniard looking guilty

“Oh Ona stop being daft...” Keira waved off “... she's not upset because of Spain... she's upset because she sees all the mistakes and can't yell at them directly... Bitsy sees things we don't... you noticed how she always groan before something is happening? That's because her brain works different and she somehow knows what's going to happen... It's not Spain... and it's not something you need to apologize for”

“Yeah Babe... don't worry about it...” Lucy said softly hugging her girlfriend lovingly from behind

“I don't want her to hate.... us...” Ona said quietly

“She could never...” your sister whispered against Onas hair

“If Spain beats england...” the spaniard started but stopped talking as you came back with Keiras glass filled to the BRIM

“I filled it up a bit more..” you grumbled “... so I won't have to run again”

“Thank you Bits” the englishwoman said sarcastic “So thoughtful”

“Hey Schnucki...” Laura looked at you “... what's going to be the final score”

“2 – 1 Spain...” you huffed as you fell backwards against the couch again “... I predict 1 – 0 around 50' … 1 – 1... ehrm... like... 65'... and then Spain in overtime... just like they did against Germany... your favourite country to invade”

“You seriously milking them jokes...” the Austrian rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless

“WE didn't start the fire...” you said upset

“That was before your time” Laura snorted while Lucy and Keira bursted out laughing

“Come here Bits...” Keira said softly after she calmed down pulling you against her when she saw how emotionally upset you were “... calm a bit okay...”

“She's mean to me” you whined throwing Laura a death glare

“I know....” the blonde smiled softly like you were five again “... so mean”

“Yeah” you huffed out but relaxed when Keira started to lightly scratch your baby hairs

“Congratulations friendly spaniard... the better of the bad teams won” you said seriously at Ona before standing up leaving the room to get some air

“She hates us” Ona said her voice wavering

“No... she hates the fact the men not listened to what she yelled at the TV” Lucy calmed her girlfriend down

“She is very patriotic Ona... she's a very proud and competitive englishwoman...” Keira said softly squeezing Onas knee “... she couldn't hate you even if she tried... she's just upset because she couldn't change anything... with us she can yell and scream and even throw things until we play like she wants us too – to be fair she's an amazing with the analytics and tactics... but now she couldn't get it out of her system... just give her some space and tonight she'll end up in your and Luces bed again”

“I thought it was your night to take her” your sister looked at her ex shocked already planned out the night

“It originally was but I asked you Wednesday if we could swap weekends because my mom is visiting next weekend and she wants to see her grandkid anyway... you said it was okay” Keira said knowing beforehand that Lucy will forget

“Oooooh riiiiiight...” Lucy wrecked her brain trying to remember the conversation “... tell you what... once in a lifetime offer...”

“Nope... I'm not taking today and next week” Keira smiled smugly knowing what her ex would propose

“Come on Kei...” Lucy begged pulling her ex a little aside to mumble “... it's been weeks”

“Same here...” the blonde mumbled back

“If you both don't want me I can go to Mapís” you grumbled pushing right threw them

“It's not that we don't want you Bubs... it's just... you know... I would like to spend some... time with Ona” your sister stammered

“Oh ew...” you exclaimed disgusted “... definitely staying at Keiras now”

“No you won't Bitsy.... I haven't had time for my girlfriend since we played in Frankfurt... and even there we didn't really had time for each other” the blonde said sweetly

“Oh EW...” you heaved out “... I'm staying... somewhere”

“I just texted Caro and Irene... your choice” Lucy smiled happily

“Mapí” you said pouting

“Caro or Irene...” Keira chose her exes side

“They scare me” you huffed out

“Bullshit...” your sister chuckled “... Caro it is then”

“I hate you” you pouted

“I love you too Bubs” Lucy sing-songed while texting the norwegian back

[icarusredwings]

Getting deep into the x men fandom means seeing ships I don't agree with, so I don't interact, seeing posts that mischaraterizes one of the deepest charaters possible, so I don't interact, Seeing people actively say things that are blatantly wrong, so I don't interact.

Getting a large following is also kind of frustrating (Im not complaining I love you guys!) But I've had to block 2 people already today because they keep leaving rude replies to my comments on OTHER peoples posts or purposly come to my blog to tell me that how I view a charater is wrong. Had someone tell me that the stuff that happens in MY au is dumb because "that would never happen" like yeah bud. The writers at Marvel are too much of cowards for it to happen, hence why i'm here.

So my thing is... if im chosing not to interact with all of this- why is it still on my feed?

I feel like the more I ignore it the more I see and I do not wish to be the type to block someone simply because they make one post about a ship that personally isn't my cup of tea.

Also- I think Im starting to see the different sides of extremes, especially when it comes to one specifc charater.

Logan.

I have seen dozens of lovely stories, lovely rants, lovely head canons about this man-

But something that feels weird (to me at least) is people who are 45+ yelling at people who aren't even 18 that their story/headcanons are trash because they've "been enjoying Logan for 40+ years" as if this gives them any right to tell a 17 year old that they shouldnt write a charater how they see them.

It's also weird to me that there seems to be two sides.

Logan IS an animal and that's perfectly okay.

Or

Logan ISN'T an animal, and everyone who headcanons him as animalistic is fetishizing his mutation and are insulting him.

I get not liking a certain trope, but sir, that person is young enough to be your child. You have to accept that we all grew up with different versions of each charater. I Personally didn't grow up with any and get the luxury of indulging in all sorts of media all at once- therefore getting to see him from multiple sides and pictures.

I completely understand if you grew up with the original series and are upset to see that kids are headcanoning your stone cold angst biker man as wearing bow clips and 'making biscuits' on a pillow while watching gilmore girl with his boyfriend, and wearing pink fluffy hello kitty pants and a tight shirt that says "Milk"

I completely understand if you grew up with the movies and see him as a sexy gruff hot buff man and you love to write lots and lots of steamy x reader about him.

I completely understand if you LIKE logan wearing hello kitty pants and don't agree with the idea of him being a dark edgelord, lone wolf charater.

Do you know what I don't understand? Fighting over a charater when different timelines have been canon since the 80s. The Time Variance Authority (TVA) first appeared in Thor #372 (October 1986) which means ALL of your logans are the correct logan. Just not all the same.

Do I think Wolverine Orgins Logan would wear pink hello kitty pants? Nah.

Do I know that Deadpool and wolverine Logan is a whole different universe then Orgins Logan? Yes.

That's why people tag different logans and different aus. So what is all the fuss about?? What happened to the more the merrier?

Theres so many different versions of comic book logan, too, so don't even go there.

Feel free to ask my personal opinions but as far as I stand I could never be foolish enough to seriously go into someone elses post and genuinely be upset at them for how they perceive a charater. I get second hand embaressment when ever I see ANYONE doing it.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk. I don't care if I lose followers for this. Let the door hit you on the way out. There aint no reason to be harrassing folks.

[sweetiesicheng]

san - smartie

word count : 844

-

you hear someone knock on the door and get up from the table in your apartment. you go to the door and look through the peephole to see your boyfriend standing outside. you unlock the door and open it.

"hey," you smile and kiss him before letting him inside.

san just grumbles and goes straight for the table. he sits down and immediately thumps his head against the table.

you grin while closing and locking the door. you go over to san and tap his shoulder. "take your backpack off," you say to him. he moves his arms, and you help him take his backpack off, leaving it on the floor. "you okay?" you ask him and sit down next to him.

"just got out of office hours..." san says to you, sounding defeated.

"with who?" you ask.

"my math professor," he mentions and sits up. "i'm failing, but he offered to let me retake some stuff for some credit."

"why are you taking a math class when you're a dance major?" you question your boyfriend.

"baby, i've told you plenty of times that it's required. you've literally looked at all of the classes i have to take," san replies. "can you please help me out? i'll make you dinner."

"you owe me more than dinner," you say to him. "alright, take your stuff out. i'll help you."

you push your things out of the way besides your tablet while san takes out everything he needs. san sets up everything while you look over his shoulder.

"gosh, babe. that's a lot of stuff," you sigh. "i'm going to cook rice first," you say to him. "figure out where we're starting, okay?" you say to him.

"got it," san replies and manages to find the syllabus for the class in the midst of the pages of his notebook.

you go into the kitchen and rinse the rice a few times before turning the rice cooker on. once you're done, you open the fridge and grab an energy drink that san likes to drink. you return to the table and find san already looking confused.

"you look confused," you say to him and put the energy drink on the table. you sit down next to him and look at what he's trying to work on.

"i am confused," san says to you. "this looks nothing like the problems we did here," he says and points to his notebook and the quiz paper.

"okay, let me look," you say to him and lean over. "so for this first one, it looks like you didn't use the right formula," you say and look at his notebook. "wait a minute..." you open the notes app you use for your classes and look through some old notes. you finally find the one you're looking for and show san. "babe, you didn't write the formula right," you inform him.

"huh?"

"see? you forgot this," you say, pointing on your tablet's screen.

san groans, "i probably wrote everything wrong then..." he says to you. "hang on, i'm going to go through the powerpoints again," he says to you.

san starts to work diligently, trying to get at least one quiz done before the night ends. you start working on some assignments but move on to cook dinner for the two of you.

"if you are failing because you wrote the formulas wrong and memorized the wrong ones, i'm gonna call you an idiot for the rest of the year," you say to san.

your boyfriend just groans, "don't do this to me right now, baby..."

you giggle, "i'm sorry. i'm sorry."

"that doesn't sound genuine," he replies.

"can kisses make up for it?" you ask him and bring a bowl to the table. "eat."

san looks up at you, "what happened to me cooking dinner?"

you smile at him, "you haven’t cried for help yet, so i think you’re okay for now," you say to him and kiss his forehead before returning to the kitchen. you bring a bowl of food to the table for yourself and eat with san. "good?"

"mhm," he hums as he takes a break to eat. "really good."

when both of you are done eating, you check san's work that he has done for the first quiz. the paper is littered in red ink, and it's clear that san made many mistakes. however, his corrections in his notebook look correct as you look over his work.

"this one is wrong. you forgot the negative so the answer is wrong," you say to san and point to his mistake.

"oh, you're right," he replies. he takes the paper and adds a negative sign. he fixes the answer and hands his notebook back to you.

you look over his work again, making sure everything is right. "i think you're done with this quiz," you say to him.

"yes!" san cheers.

"now you have more to do!" you say to him, leaving him to groan again. "don't worry, smartie, you got this," you say and kiss his cheek.

"thanks baby."

[lastoneout]

Honestly, I don't say it often bcs I know how this site is but I really do think for a lot of survivors of abuse, especially abuse that went on for years and years, sometimes the message "it's not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong/to deserve this" while ABSOLUTELY TRUE* isn't actually super helpful. For a lot of us there's a LOT of guilt tied into it, and even if things were truly out of our hands we will not be able to accept that we are truly blameless, at least not at first, and maybe for some of us not ever. So being told "no dw you didn't do anything wrong <3 <3 you're innocent" feels...idk like some toxic positivity style lies. It doesn't make me feel better, because I still do feel like there were things that happened that were my fault, that were in my control, even an ethicist or god or whoever could look me dead in the eyes, weigh all the facts, and assure me of my complete innocence, and I still wouldn't believe it. (Tbh, you have to be ready to forgive yourself and trying to force it early does more harm than good.)

And I occasionally see movies and shows and stuff get roasted all to hell for having the audacity to go with a different message, to offer abused characters not a platitude about how they are innocent and should forgive themselves asap, but instead say "so what if it was your fault? so what if you fucked up? you're still alive, you still have time, your mistakes(or perceived mistakes) don't make you irredeemable scum who deserves to suffer, it's okay that you fucked up, what matters is what you do next, and even if the horrible thing was your fault in one way or another or you did actually hurt people, you still did NOT deserve to be hurt in turn" because people think that is like, admitting that the person in question is at fault when they almost always aren't....but as an actual survior, I'm sorry, you can tell me I'm innocent till the cows come home and I won't believe it. What I need to hear is that even if it was my fault I didn't deserve to be treated that way. I still deserve help. I deserve to keep going. I am not forever stained by my mistakes. I deserve a future free from this pain.

I think before we look at things in this like...grand moral way where we try to make sure we're sending the most Correct and Healthy Message Possible, sometimes it's worth asking if that message is actually the one the people it's about need to hear. I'm sure for some people it is very freeing to be told it's not their fault, but that kind of message does not resonate with me. And I, as well as people like me, deserve to expirience stories about us that are cathartic, that resonate, that make us feel seen, and to not have to see everyone and their mom throw a fit because what helps us is "problematic".

Anyway this has been mulling around in my head for a while and I def have a lot more to say about the way guilt manifests in trauma born of abuse, but yeah I just feel like this is something that should be talked about when we bring up abuse narratives and how well written they are and if they send the Correct Message, because the "Correct Message" is never going to be the same for everyone. And that's true of ANY demographic you could choose to represent!

Like some disabled people might enjoy the "magically healed" trope while others find it offensive. Some trans people like stories where transitioning is easy as drinking a potion or getting a fancy futuristic surgery and some find that that trivializes their struggles. Some queer people want stories where there's just no homophobia at all, others find that a world without it feels fake and patronizing. Some women do want to read stories about how keeping hearth and home is noble and empowering and others want read about women who have other jobs and never have kids or get married. For some of us "you're beautiful no matter what" is lovely and some of us just want to be told being fat and hairy and having acne and scars and shit is normal and fine. Or, like the last post I reblogged says, sometimes "you're not a burden" doesn't hit as well as "being a burden isn't a bad thing". No one type of representation is ever going to work for everyone, and that doesn't mean one type of rep is objectively wrong and the other is objectively right.

So yeah, the next time you find yourself angry because you think a story is sending the wrong message about a marginalized or harmed group, maybe stop for a second to ask yourself if it's actually harmful...or if you're not the person who the story is speaking to, and if there's someone it is talking to who desperately needs to hear what it has to say.

(*Getting ahead of this now: Do not put words in my mouth. I am not saying that any abused person in any way deserved their abuse or was at fault for it happening, that is not up for debate. The fault is always in the hands of the person who chose to hurt them. I'm just saying it's nuanced and complicated and guilt is a huge fucking issue that survivors have to deal with all the time and it's not wrong to acknowledge that some of us are always going to feel like we did something wrong and not be eased by being told otherwise even if the person saying it is 100% correct and/or means well. I do not have time for people who are going to willfully misinterpret me. You will be blocked.)

[raayllum]

Can you explain why Claudia is so upset with Terry when they reunite after he leaves? And why Terry, of all people, looks so guilty with her that he can't even look her in the eye? It's one of those things where you know this should all be reversed, but isn't. Why? Why is the betrayer so hostile to the betrayed?

God I loved the messy as fuck whatever they had going on Claudia and Terry dynamic in S7, and I think there's a few reasons why

One of the cruxes of Claudia's character is that she is attached to seeing herself as a good person, and others as not-good by comparison. This means that she can engage in the exact same behaviour and justify it while assuming that others' reasonings couldn't possibly measure up.

This cognitive dissonance is not exclusive to Claudia (Callum and Rayla in particular have a tendency to justify each other's choices in ways they don't with other characters, i.e. Rayla viewing dark magic use being 'evil' except when Callum is using it and he's the 'goodest' person she knows) but the focus on 'my view of myself' largely is. Most other characters in TDP are focused on "I still view this other person as a good person," not being focused on "I view myself as a good person". But Claudia is, and it's this core desire being increasingly pitted against "I will do vile, awful things to keep my family together" that are constantly duking it out.

When Claudia finds Soren and Terry waiting for her, it's clear that not only has Terry joined her brother, but has turned against her (as he could've left and then just fucked off somewhere else). This association with Soren, I think, is one of the things that gets her haunches raised, since Soren made it very clear what he thinks the last time they saw one another in 4x07:

SOREN: You have to stop trying to release the greatest evil this world has ever known. CLAUDIA: I knew you wouldn't understand.

All Claudia hears is "there's something wrong with you." That she's the bad guy and on the Wrong side (which, to be fair, Soren also calls her and Viren bad humans when trying to wake Rex Igneous in 4x09). And, by extension, that Soren is better than her. More correct, more moral, more Right.

And Claudia cannot stand feeling judged. She cannot stand being treated like 'the bad guy' (because of course from her perspective, everything she does is right) and she struggles to hold a conception of "I did something genuinely wrong and can still be a good person" (see: "We're not going to the dungeons Soren, we didn't do anything wrong") usually leaning into one or the other, and normally the latter.

So Terry being with Soren is also "you think I'm wrong, you think I'm bad, and you think you're Better than me" (vs Aaravos' "believed we could be better, so he gave us magic"). She thinks the pair are there to stop her, and she's not wrong, on a certain level.

So when Soren makes a gesture of good will, openly contingent on Terry wanting to spare her ("You're here to save me? How generous [...] I can change, and you will help me. Did I get everything?" Karim vibes), it's just seen as "you're showing off how/why you think you're Better than me" and was, quite frankly, never going to work.

Soren setting down his sword came closer, as it's more reciprocal, and it also symbolizes Soren setting down his mantle/duty (the same sword that killed Viren the first time, presumably). But Soren makes another mistake; the same mistake he made in 4x07:

Dad is dead, Claudia. You don't have to do what he wants anymore.

Set down your staff, Claudia. Dad's staff.

But while Claudia has been doing stuff for Viren, she hasn't done what he wanted in a long time. She's been doing what she wants ("You are not letting go, Dad!") for a hot second, and now alongside Aaravos. (I need to write a scene on her and Aaravos' talk in 7x06, but that's for another day.) And that has included taking down elves and dragons as a whole (and any elf that doesn't help her) for a while.

The dragons and the elves, all the arrogant fools blinded by the searing light of their own self-righteousness.

They are wrong, and she and Aaravos are right ("So much we can make right"). This is a very black-and-white viewpoint in many ways, one that some characters are faster as dismantling than others, but I have no doubt that Arc 3 will push it to its breaking point for all of them. Soren and Terry have thrown in their loyalties with the elves and dragons, since Terry was previously a "good elf Exception" alongside Aaravos because they were both helping her and, as previously discussed, Terry has now turned against her, and all the baggage Claudia carries about such a thing is now dumped onto him by proxy (which Terry doesn't necessarily know or understand).

So what does he look so guilty over?

Honestly? The illusion plan. I'm sure he's worried that Claudia might get hurt, and that things might escalate / go south, but he is ultimately there with a plan that is not what he wanted. What Terry wanted was to find the real Lissa and give Claudia a real chance to connect with her mother and maybe change her ways. But it's not real. It's deception, and he knows it.

TERRY: You lied to me! AARAVOS: I never lie. I simply said we needed a big feather and a very small feather. That is all. TERRY: No. You say you never lie, what you do is worse. You tell people half-truths and let people fill in the rest. You make people lie to themselves. It's deception. It's manipulation, and it's wrong.

She betrayed him, and now in his own way he's betraying her.

So what makes him decide to turn around and do something... similar, shall we say? There's a few things. The first is that they're on a time limit and have no way to reach Lissa. The second is that it's plausible the others were going to do it anyway, and Terry accompanied them because 1) he couldn't stop them, 2) he felt responsible, and 3) hoped that his presence would make a positive difference to Claudia.

The second is the other half of what Aaravos says to Terry, I think.

TERRY: I'll tell Claudia. AARAVOS: Oh, it will change nothing. She loves me. [...] And what of Claudia, then? She knows so much more than she tells you, and she keeps it that way to protect you.

Now, Terry rightfully understands that Claudia wasn't keep things from him to protect him; she did it to use him and to keep him from leaving ("I knew he'd leave once he found out"). However, Terry being willing to live in a half-truth and employ one on Claudia because he genuinely believes it will help her, because he thinks it's a truth he needs to withhold to protect her ("You have to promise me that no harm will come to Claudia" is most easily kept if she backs down)... that I can believe, especially since it lets him believe that she's capable of change/quitting. He wants to Save her, not use her.

That doesn't mean he thinks it won't Hurt.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Look, This is gonna be one of those things that sounds bad until you read the whole story. Please don't read the title and go to 'yta' without reading.

AITA for yelling at our friend that my brother isn't trans?

Look, My brother ISNT trans. He likes to wear kilts and sew, Which is what kind of started all of this. My brother is NOT trans, He loves being a boy (trust me, I can hear him enjoying being a boy in his room all the time. Theres no way he'd wanna chop it off(I mean this as a joke I don't actually know how the surgery works), He's told me multiple times that being told by others what he likes is 'feminine' and 'girly' upsets him because he's proud of being a boy and doesn't like being called a girl. Its not because he hates girls or thinks less of them, He just does not like being called the wrong gender which I'm sure you want to be called the correct gender too.)

Anyways lets begin. I (16F) am my little brothers (15M) best friend, Basically. We grew up together and do everything together, Including sewing. I liked it when I was younger, And eventually convinced him to try it as well. He loved it, And we love just sitting together and making random crap we usually end up selling at our yearly garage sale. (Our mom makes us sell all our unneeded crap every year, But we aren't complaining when we make like $100 for it, Mom and dad even help us figure out what we actually wanna keep (we sometimes see old things and go 'Oh I could never get rid of this' and then throw it away))

Sorry for the rambling, But you'll see why some of this is important to know.

Basically, We were getting our shit together for the garage sale, And invited over a mutual friend of ours, Who I'll call uhhh Ley (16F). Shes kind of obsessed with the LGBTQ and loves to help people 'realize' they're gay or trans or non-binary. By this I mean she'll literally bully people she 'knows' is gay or trans by always telling them they are and spreading rumors about them saying they are. The way she 'knows' these things are from gut feelings. I thought maybe she needed friends who would be honest with her and tell her gently that it needed to stop. She stopped being so bad with it and we even convinced her to admit to the rumors she started being fake. We've known her for around 3 years now, And she's stopped doing it as aggressively for 2 of those years. She still makes jabs and 'jokes' saying things like "Oh thats so girly, Are you sure you're not trans?" and "Oh thats such a boy thing to do, Are you a lesbian?", Both quotes she's said to me and my brother less than a week ago. I am straight and cis, So is my brother. We have nothing against the lgbt, We just aren't apart of it. We support the lgbtq as much as possible (with my part time job I like to donate some of my paycheck towards point of pride so people who need the surgeries or binders can get them), And are very open about supporting them.

While we were cleaning out my brothers room and finding stuff to throw into the 'sell' box (we like to do precleaning before our parents help us, It makes everything faster and less work on the people trying to help), And Ley found my brothers kilt. She did a long exaggerated gasp, Looking at my brother.

"So, How long have you been trans? Why didn't you tell me?? I knew it the whole time!"

My brother tried to explain that it was a kilt for men, And he wasn't trans, But she kept interrupting him saying crap like 'you don't have to lie I know now' and 'Its nothing to be embarrassed about, I knew ever since you started to sew'. The last straw for me was when she continued not listening to him and started to ask about how he was gonna come out as school. I yelled at her to get out, That neither of us were gay, Neither of us are trans, And neither of us are apart of any of the lgbtq. We are allies and nothing more. She tried to argue that he had a 'skirt' which OBVIOUSLY meant he was trans, I basically screamed at her that she was a stupid know it all who made everyone who wasn't apart of the lgbtq's life hell because she made sure everyone knew them as someone they arent (I know, I shouldn't of brought up 2 years in the past) and that I was tired of her trying to force everyone to be in the LGBTQ when its just not realistic. Not everyone is gay or trans, Some people are cis and straight. She started crying and left, We haven't spoken in a few days but I think I'm justified. I'm tired of living my life being told I'm something I'm not, I'm tired of seeing it happen to my brother too.

My brother later thanked me for standing up for him, Telling me it made him really upset when she said those things. To cheer him up we watched his favorite movies and I made him his favorite dinner (mom and dad both work day jobs so we both make lunch and dinner)

And for those who are gonna say that allies are apart of the LGBTQ I strongly believe the A is for aro/ace. Being an ally isn't a gender or sexuality

(unless people identify using ally/allyself of course or whatever it is, I'm not quite sure how neos work or whatever but I love to see how creative people get with it and am happy it gives people who don't identify with any of the normalized(? Idk the correct term but yknow the man woman and nb) genders a chance to be who they actually are)

Extra info on why I think I could be the asshole: I feel like we might've been able to explain it if we got her to shut up for a minute, But she kept talking over us. I feel like I went too far by insulting her, And I feel like I might be TA because she's also autistic (so is my brother though, And I have ADHD).

Why I think I'm NTA: My brother is really quiet and doesn't really defend himself often. He doesn't really know how to stand up for himself and is 'easy' to talk over (soft spoken, Quiet talking voice and nonconfrontational) which is why I believe I had to step in in his place, And I don't believe I did anything wrong defending my brother and making her stop calling him what hes not.

Anyways. AITA for yelling at our friend that my brother isn't trans?

To see later: PINK PANTHER

What are these acronyms?

[nemesis-writer]

[Unwanted Ransom(Chapter 6)]

Masterlist Oxytocin

TW- some shows of mental illness

10 years ago...

"Xerxes come on say something this is a safe place."

"Then why is there a camera?"

"It's there just in case you get-"

"I get what, crazy? Yeh, lady I know the drill"

"It says in your file that you have gone through multiple doctors in the past since your mother's death."

"And what makes you think you can fix me?"

"Because you are special, you have so much potential, and you put it all to waste."

"Who cares? My so called 'family', if I can recall they abandoned me, neglected me, and one of the little brats scarred me." Yep you obviously know who I'm talking about

"Xerxes, don't put the blame on others."

"You've been married for 15 years, three kids, one teen, one toddler, and one infant.

You're parents are divorced and no matter how many times you and your husband hate each other you wanna stay married in order to prevent the same trauma you had pass on to your kids.

Did I get it correct? Oh wait don't answer that I'm always correct." I sighed laying my head down.

"And you've become observant when it comes to hurting others, see I've studied your pattern of behaviour based on the reviews all your other doctors have represented to me before I took this case. And boy was it a long read.

Technically I'm entitled to tell you anything that could help you. And you thought that you could go through me?"

"I don't give a fuck what people say, who do I trust? No one, if a friend wants to jump on train tracks, don't expect me to hold their hand.

I don't give a damn what they insinuate about me anymore, I am an Amala never a Wayne, so I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to." And with that I abruptly stood up and grabbed my bag, I head out there.

The only reason I went there because, my 'dad' heard that I got into a fight and handcuffed the brat in the janitor's closet.

Just suck it up Xerxes, in a few years, you can finally escape them.

'Just suck it up' That's the advice I'd always tell myself no matter how much I cried, scream, or hurt myself.

Present...

"AHHHH, PETE, THERE IS A FUCKING BUILDING!!!!" I screamed as I held on tight to him.

"JENNY MOVE YOUR HAIR, OH SHIT!!!" he lost a bet so he had to swing me from Vincent's house to dad's. When we finally descended, I sighed and laid on the floor for a while.

"Y'know MJ would normally puke with this." He sighed.

"I'm built different" And I walked normally inside my house, I didn't feel any signs of...

fuck

oh wait

Oh shit

never-mind

I rushed to my bedroom's toilet and hurled a lot. Gosh, I should've listened to MJ. With that I washed my face, and brushed my mouth. I went down-stairs ignoring my surroundings.

I kinda had a crush on Pete for a while, but then I met Vincent and felt like Pete is a brother to me.

"AYOO, PETE LET'S GO WATCH SAW 2-" I immediately cut myself off when I saw, something I thought was a dream.

oh wait

it can't be

tell me I'm dreaming.

OH SHIT....

"Hey baby bird-" Richard stuttered, and tried to hug me.

"Back off Grayson, dad what the fuck is going on."

"Xerxes-"

"Who said I was talking to you limp-dick? Now dad seriously what the hell is going on here?" I looked at dad with puppy eyes, gosh I'm so adorable.

"Now, they just came here to drop your stuff." He explained.

"They are not my things they are Xerxes' things, I only things that I need are what I have now." I stated, as I looked at the cunt who ruined my life, I only sighed.

"Xerxes-"

"Zip it Timothy, or I'll tear you're tongue from your head." I stated, I've been watching the Originals again, and might I add, Nikklaus' has been looking good.

"Xerxes-" Jason tried to start. But I cut him off with a glare, he then corrected himself.

"Jennifer, we miss you and we apologise-"

"For what? Neglecting me? Abandoning me? LEAVING ME TO DIE?"

"We didn't mean to." They all protested.

"Bullshit!"

"Language!" Dad sighed.

"When is my birthday?"

"January 7?"

"No, it's September 8, what the hell is wrong with you people?" I was eager to run and ditch these people and run up to my room.

"Xerxes, you're my sister come on." He tried to grab me, but I dodged it and grabbed his hand spinning him downwards. Thanks Nat.

"Touch me one more time, and your arm won't be the only thing that will hurt."

I immediately rushed upstairs and ran to my room, locking it, which activates voice-recognition. Gosh, I was so angry with them. I started to get really angry and accidentally punched a hole in my wall that was connected to Morgan's room.

"JENNY!!!" Oh fuck.

"SORRY M! I'll fix it later." And with that I just dropped onto the bed. I grabbed my phone and texted Vincent.

Jinx- Hey V

V- Hey Jen, how r u?

Jinx- My previous fucked-up family is back now

V- damn, wanna hang tommorow? 🙂

Jinx- Sure, but I gotta lotta hw tho 😢

V- call me if you can then 🤙🏻

And with that I decided to lay down and wonder how fucked up my life could get. I started to fall asleep so I decided to shut down all of my devices, in order to avoid the annoying sound of the 'Brady Bunch' trying to text me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N- It could've been longer if my dumbass didn't accidentally delete my first draft, could've been so much better.

Taglist

@lunayaps, @not-aya, @iluvcatzz, @vanessa-boo, @ivyrose9194