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ddinusa · 4 years ago

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How I was treated in ICE Processing Center, California United States of America

I’m writing this down to reveal the situations, and how detainees being treated in immigration detention, California United States of America.

Now it’s year 2020, the whole world still panicky of the pandemic of COVID- 19 (Corona virus), and America has the highest numbers of positive cases and death toll in the world, the numbers still going up. Even in this extreme pandemic time, tons of detainees from immigration detention still being deported with potentially carrying the deadly virus to other countries. And this will put the whole world in risk of deadly virus spreading even worse since detainees might not get sufficient and complete medical care for prevention/cure the deadly virus.

Air port

My story stared form LAX airport where I was landed in Feb, year 2020.

I was holding a traveling visa (B2) which was officially issued by American government, so I could go to California again to stay with my partner who I have been dating since year 2018, and planning to get married. Year 2020, this is the year that many Asians had been discriminated in America since COVID-19 pandemic.

And yes, I was one of them being discriminated in the airport when I landed, then CBP used lots of excuses to reject my permission entry, even I was holding a valid visa which was being revoked at the airport on the same day I landed, see figure 1.

(Figure 1- Contents in the figure: Expiration Date XX JUN2023)

Nightmares started right after CBP questioned me. There were always security reasons for CBP to do things. Body- searching, phone checking, personal belongs checking, loosing shoelaces…..etc. I was panic for not getting any help since all my electrical devices and phones were all being taken away. I couldn’t call my partner, nor my families. There’s no way I could contact anyone; I was hopeless, literally a hopeless foreigner in a foreign country along all by myself.

I didn’t know if my rights have being violated for doing what CBP did since I knew nothing about the laws here in America. Maybe I didn’t have the right to contact anyone or lawyers; or maybe this was good for CBP to do what they want to do without obstruction. I really had no idea what’s right or what is wrong, and was really panicky for being in that situation first time in my life.

After being held in the airport for one night without any of my personal belongs with me, ICE came to bring me to the immigration detention (ICE Processing Center) within 24 hours after CBP reported. They hand-cuffed me on our way to the detention, and that was my very first time being hand-cuffed.

Yes, exactly like shows you watch on TV or Netflix. Metals on my hands, ankles, and metal chain attached to my handcuffs too.

When we arrived to the detention, the detention facility staffs came out to take me in, and the very first word they said was “Really!?”.

Yeah, I bet that’s because my Asian race has SUPRPISED them a lot in the time of COVID-19 outbreak. ICE and I had been waited outside for few hours before the detention made a decision of taking me in or not, I guess, that’s why it’s taking hours waiting.

I was taken in after waiting, then, what waited for me next was intake procedure.

14 days quarantine

The facility has 2 buildings, WEST and EAST to detain all detainees. I was assigned to live in the WEST at the beginning (then being transferred to East because of COVID-19 was getting worse afterwards).

The facility members put me in 14 days quarantine not because I was not in America for 14 days; they put me in 14 days quarantine because they assumed that I might carry the deadly virus from the country I came from. And they assumed that I came from China without confirming my identification (because I am Asian). The medical records showed that I came from China, the country I never been to, nor a citizen, nor a permanent resident, not even a traveler. That is racial discrimination, real racial discrimination. I AM NOT FROM CHINA, 100% POSITIVE.

See the description from the facility as attached figure 2.

(Figure 2- Contents in the figure: Rule out COVID19 virus- Patient has been in infirmary since February 27, 2020, as he comes from a region of China Last date in China 2/26/20. Per patient he arrived 2/26/20 and spent the night at the airport. He will remain quarantine to rule out for COVID19. Patient denies cough and stated he feels well. No fevers since arriving, denies chills, or body aches. Reports he is in good health and takes no medications. Exam- Afebrile, non-toxic, Lungs CTAB. Heart sounds RRR w/o murmur, no sweating, no cough. Plan- Continue on airborne isolation for a total of 14 days. Patient to be assessed daily for changes in health status. )

I was put in quarantine for 14 days immediately to make sure to rule out potential COVID- 19 virus as soon as I was finished the intake procedure. Oh, and the RN (Registered nurse) asked about my physical characteristics when I was in the intake procedure. To be honest, I was confused why they need to record my body characteristics, and the worst scenario cases that I could think of was that….. once my head’s being cut off in some bad situations, they could recognize who I was by my body characteristics. (Really scary, huh, because I couldn’t find a better way to explain why they need my body characteristics.)

In the 14 days quarantine, I was in a small room without TV, nor books or anything to entertain myself, basically only a rack that I could sleep on. And lights which never been turned off 24/7.

And there’s one thing I was really worried.

The air was circulated to other isolation rooms, which have been used as quarantine and discipline, since I could hear other detainees shouting through the air tunnel in my isolation room. If there was one detainee had the deadly virus, the deadly virus will be circulated with air and get into other isolation rooms, then spread to everyone in the facility. Since the isolation rooms are for quarantine and for discipline, too; detainees in discipline punishment might get infected by other sick detainees next door (if the next door detainees are sick and being quarantined).

(Figure 3- Layout of Isolation room where I was staying for 14 days quarantine)

The facility staff told me I couldn’t go out, but I could borrow a tablet or a phone to contact families or friends, but it was not free. I had to pay with my money I bought with me.

So I borrowed a phone, but I didn’t have my partner’s phone number in my head. I asked if I could get my partner’s number in my cellphone, but my request was denied, so I authorized them to reach my phone or bring my phone to me, but still a NO to me. So basically I couldn’t contact anyone even I was offered the opportunity and equipment to call.

Oh, by the way, I had asked 3 staffs for toothbrush and toothpaste since I was not given any, and finally, a lady officer brought me some. I really appreciated for her help since she was the only one among them 3 whom I asked; she brought me not only lotions, floss, toothbrush and toothpaste, but also brought me HUMAN LIFE back.

Finally, I reached my families, but I didn’t tell them I was in detention; I didn’t want my families in my country to worry about me.

After about 2 days later, my friend, J who’s from Georgia USA found me, so J called the detention to leave his number to the staff, so I could contact him once the staff gave me his number. I was busted into tears when I reached him after several calls since the staff wrote his numbers wrong, or maybe J said it wrong. (I had to try many times before I could reach him.) Then I got my partner’s number by asking J to contact my partner on my Facebook’s friend list.

And about the tablet, it charged USD$0.05 per second if I wanted to play candy crush or watch old shows. Of course the phones too (the charge depends on where I called), every single phone call I made cost the money I brought with me.

The facility offered me 3 meals a day. If I was hungry, I either went sleep or drank water which came from the sink tap when I was in quarantine.

I sang to sing to myself, talked to myself, tried to sleep as much as I could to get this 14 days done.

Dorm with other detainees (West building)

Finally, after 14 days quarantine, I had people to talk to, or to order commissary food to not get hungry since the meals were not very likable.

About the kitchen food, there’s a menu so we detainees got to know what food we getting. But, sometimes, something missing; for example, there were 6 items on the menu, then there were only 5 items when we got our plates, sometimes ketchup missing, sometimes dressing, sometimes something else.

If a pack of ketchup is 5 cents, then few thousand ketchup will save the facility some money; or just kitchen people simply forgot to serve them.

These were the dishes that appeared the most on the menu, turkey slices, beef and beans burritos without beef, fruits from cans, sloppy joe, or sausages…etc. So commissary was the only option we could get food beside 3 meals, but if detainees didn’t have money to order commissary, detainees couldn’t shop commissary. Detainees could either apply 1 dollar job (maximum $1 a day.), or trade with other detainees with something else.

About the water, we were offered drinking water in Home Depot 5 gal. orange water coolers. Some detainees drank the water from the tap, instead of water from coolers since all the officers didn’t drink the water from the cooler; every officer brought their own water.

BTW, I didn’t have much sexual drive, nor physical erection since I got into the detention, so I asked other detainees, and they all had the same situations. We all figured that something has been added in our food or water. Even now I’ve been deported for a month, my sexual drive still not that high, compared to the times before being detained in detention.

About the shower water, every detainee sees everyone naked in the shower since there were no doors, just 6 chambers.

And my skin was dry and itchy after shower. I used to showered twice a day, but other EXPERT detainees told me to shower maximum one time a day since the water might be added with chemicals to reduce the mold in the shower chambers. (What they said made sense since there were only 6 shower rooms, and hundreds of people are using them every single day; there were no ways to find out what other detainees said was true or not, so I chose to listen to them to shower only one time a day.)

About the chemical spray to prevent corona virus during pandemic of COVID-19, the spray has been used over 50 times a day in the dorm. There were lots of detainees didn’t speak English, so I was helping to interpret if we spoke the same language. I remembered one time I was writing a medical request for a detainee who had unknow and persistent nose bleeding recently.

After I was deported, I knew why he had unknow and persistent nose bleeding. I read a report which showed that the spray used in the detention might cause unknow bleeding and some bad effect on animals. See the title from insider.com as attached figure 4.

(Figure 4, from insider.com - Contents in the figure: Report finds ICE detention centre is using a disinfectant over 50 times a day that causes bleeding and pain.)

About the phone calls, every phone call was being monitored. A detainee told me that ICE (or facility staff) called his cousin to confirm the relationship with the detainee, but he never provided his cousin’s number to anyone; the ICE (or facility staff) found the number by monitoring his calls, and called without asking the detainee. (I know, there are always security concerns for doing everything.)

And, my phone account has been blocked from calling legal orientation without any notification; I could still call other people, only not able to call legal orientation;

I didn’t see any or how I’ll post threats or dangers by calling legal orientation to get some helpful advise from the legal group. So I wrote a letter to DHS (Department of Homeland Security) on 17th April, 2020 to tell how my situation was, see figure 5.

(I always made another hand-writing copy for myself to all the mails I sent.)

(Figure 5- Contents in the figure: Dear sir, I’m a detainee in Adelanto California where I’ve been detaining since Feb, 27, 2020. I’m writing based on my situation and my rights might be violated in this detention: ①I have rights to appeal to BIA (Boarder of Immigration Appeals) within 30 days after immigration judge’s decision has been made, but the paper of judge’s decision shows that “No appeal is available.” It violates my right. If I haven’t had looked up information myself, I would have been taken advantages of, (since I don’t have legal representatives, nor attorneys in the whole process; I have made a few calls, but still haven’t found any free attorneys yet because I have limited finance, furthermore, the pandemic of COVID-19 makes this even more difficult.)②The judge made a false statement on the final decision. It shows that I’m subject to third-country-transit after July 16, 2019. But the fact is that both my flights were direct flights, straight from XXXXXXXXXXXX to America in 2019 and 2020. The judge didn’t ask me , nor give me a chance to confirm.

I’ll still keep waiting for more information on appealing to BIA (but I don’t know if I can make it withinh 30 days with limited info.) And also waiting for my ICE officer to reply my paper requests. I need help in anyways since I’m fighting this all alone by myself so far, and I don’t know if there will be any more advantages been taken from me. Please help, thank you.

My phone account has been blocked from calling LOP- Legal Orientation Program (844) 312- 5327 when I tried to call on April 17, 2020.)

At the same time, I tried to call legal orientation for 2 days, but still being blocked…. So I stopped calling legal orientation (19th April, 2020 was my last time trying.)

Then, I realized that my phone account was unblocked on 20th without any notification to me until I wrote a KITE (request/inquiry form) to the facility, see attached figure 6. (I think when they read my mail to DHS, and they knew about my phone blocking complain, so they unblocked my phone without telling a thing to me until I wrote a KITE to the facility.)

(Figure 6-Contents in the figure: My phone account has been blocked from calling legal orientation (844) 312-5327, when I tried to call on Apr. 17, 2020. It was not blocked before 4/17. I made few calls and it was connected.

Number was unblocked on 4/20/20.)

BTW, all the incoming/outgoing mails will be inspected, see attached figure 7.

(Figure 7- Contents in the figure: MAIL PRIVACY.

．All incoming and outgoing letters may be inspected for contraband and content.

．If you receive legal mail, the facility staff will open it in front of you and may check for contraband, but not read it.

．If you do not want your outgoing legal or special mail opened, allow facility staff to inspect the mail, but not read it, seal it in front of a staff member and clearly label it as legal mail.

．You may seal your other mail on you own and drop it in a detainee mailbox.)

DHS gave me a letter few weeks later, see attached figure 8. It said they were not taking any action on the information I provided, and I may need to consult an attorney. But I didn’t know how to find a free attorney once they blocked my phone from calling the group that I could have found free attorney since I have limited finance. (my partner had limited finance too since the family member needs some money for new knees.)

Once I got the letter from DHS, I knew there’s another “nowhere getting help” Again.

(Figure 8- Contents in the figure: After carefully reviewing the information you provided, CRCL has recorded it in our database. This will allow us to track the issues you raised in order to identify potential patterns of civil rights or civil liberties allegation within our jurisdiction. Accordingly, CRL will take no further action on the information you provided at this time. Please be advised that CRCL does not provide individuals with legal rights or remedies. Accordingly, CRCL is not able to obtain any legal remedies or damages on your behalf. Instead, we use information in correspondence like yours to find and address problems in DHS policy and its implementation. If you believe your rights have been violated, you may wish to consult an attorney. There may be time limitations that govern how quickly you need to act to protect your interests.)

About the voluntary work projects, one dollar a day, but first, I had to be selected to have the job, so I could get a one dollar job.

Interesting thing was that I couldn’t even able to afford a pack of cracker which was $1.55 for working a day, how interesting…..but the same, I still had to get the job first.

(Figure 9-Contents in the figure: 3 SNICKERS BAR $3.18, 1 CLUB CRACKERS $1.55, 2 ZC CHOC CHIP COOKIES 6 $2.20.)

About the grievance, on detainee handbook which showed that all grievance will be response back within 5 working days, see attached figure 10, but I haven’t got any of my detainee grievance forms reply back. (I wrote 2 grievance forms, see attached figure 11, 12.)

(Figure 10-Contents in the figure: GRIEVANCE PROCEDURES. A grievance is a complain about the substance or application of any written policy, regulation, or rule of the facility or the lack of the application of a policy, regulation, or rule; or a complaint about any behavior or action directed toward any detainee by staff or another detainee; or a violation of civil rights. The facility shall maintain a channel of communication between staff and detainees at all times. However, if a detainee feels a situation or issue has not been addressed to their satisfaction, they may file a grievance regarding any operational issue at any time. A response will be provided within five (5) working days of receipt of the grievance.)

(Figure 11-Contents in the figure: STATEMENT OF GRIEVANCE: (DECLARACION DE AGRAVIO.)

Please don’t move our beds/ bunks again, there is no such thing as “social distancing” when you’re trapped with a bunch of people in a space 24/7. Around 3 days ago, they changed my bed from XXXXXto XXXXX, then they changed my bed again yester from XXXXXto XXXXX again. That caused lot of inconvenience in many ways, such as form filling, paper request filling, bed/bunk calling out for work, library, paper request returns…etc. it’s really confusing because we don’t know who is being called since our bed has been changed again and again.)

(Figure 12-Contents in the figure: ① Phones have been cut off for many days without any notification; don’t know how long this will be lasting. ②Self-enhancemnet, everyday newspaper has been suspended for 7 days so far; still don’t know how long this will be lasting. I don’t see how making phone calls, or reading newspaper could post any security issues to this facility/ detention; we are not terrorists, nor criminals.)

About our marriage request, I was deported promptly right after my partner and I both submitted all the required papers about our marriage request, see attached figure 13, 14.

(Figure 13-Contents in the figure: This is in response to your request to marry your fiancé, while you are detained at the Adelanto ICE Processing Center. As part of the review process, the following information is required to consider your marriage request.

1) Are you eligible to be married?

2) Please (re) state your intent to marry.

3) Submit a statement indicating that you understand that the marriage ceremony will not be conducted if it is determined that if would present a threat to the security or orderly operation of the Adelanto ICE Processing Center or to the protection of the public.

4) Submit a statement indicating that you understand that your removal from the United States, if ordered, will not be postponed to accommodate this request.)

(Figure 14-Contents in the figure: Please Specify In Detail: What’s the status of marriage request? It has been another week again, please. Officer Response: Management is reviewing your request.)

After being deported back to my country, I still don’t know if my marriage request has been approval or not; even detainee handbook shows that I will get the decision, see figure 15.

(Figure 15-Contents in the figure: MARRIAGE REQUESTS. Detainees wishing to marry while detained must submit a request to ICE staff for approval, via and ICE Detainee Request Form. The decision to approve or deny will be provided to the detainee. Facility staff cannot approve marriage requests. The detainee and family are responsible for making all arrangements, including obtaining the marriage license, any required blood test, and retaining and official to perform the marriage. Neither the facility or Ice will Participate in making the arrangements. The following guidelines will be followed:

．Ceremonies will be no longer than one hour in duration.

．Ceremonies will be held at a time that does not conflict with facility counts, court, etc.

．only four individuals will be authorized to attend a service, of which one is the official performing the service, two are witness and one guest (this does not include the spouse.)

I’m just an ordinary person, not a Nobel prize winner, nor a billionaire. We two ordinary people just wanted to build our future together and live in our little world. But I was not welcomed to get in America and we are being separated. That’s really upsetting and frustrating for us and my partners families in USA.

About sick calls, no doctors in the pandemic of COVID-19.

Detainees made sick call requesting, but there were no doctors available, so the RNs would arrange another times and wait till doctors to be available for detainees.

Before I was deported, I read from the newspaper that the facility I was staying started to have positives cases, and we had no idea if the facility had done prevention or not since we didn’t get any COVID-19 test after outbreak in the facility.

And detainees still being deported with potentially virus carrying from America to other countries.

About psychiatrist, I was traumatized.

Being separated with my families for months and months, no visitation available to see my fiancé and the families, concealing my custody from my families in my country, limited finance to afford an attorney, phone account being blocked, excessive use of force, communication being cut off because of protesting, not knowing how long to stay in custody, risking of getting COVID-19 since insufficient medical care, not being welcomed in the stats, might be deported anytime and separated with my partner……. more and more and more.

I knew I need some mental help with all these burdens on me all by myself; I was literately in hot water, so I started seeking psychologist’s help and taking pills, see figure 16.

(Figure 16-Contents in the figure: Chief Complaints: 1. Routine follow up. Patient spoke English. Patient is diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety DO and Adjustment DO with mixed anxiety and depressed mood. We discussed his concerns about recent local protests and how the communication was shut down internally, as well as lack of timely response from ICE on his request to be married. Patient reported, “I don’t know what to do – I’m following the rules, and I’m not getting anywhere.”)

I never had difficulty to be in small room/ space.

But I realized that after I was deported home, I started to feel uncomfortable while I was in a small room. I’m traumatized from what I’d been through in the detention and the airport. I’ll seek some mental help in my country later or sooner.

I’m not a terrorist, nor criminal, and I belive that lots of detainees in American immingration detentions are not either, and I was one of the detainees in the non-humanized situations.

America is a country of freedom, a counry full of human rights. After what happened to me, I’m hurt and scared. And I truly belive that im not the only one feeling this pain.

“Thank you” to American citizens who pay all the expense to the facility, based on how many days I was being detained. More days I was being detained, more the failitye being paied. (All detainees don’t know in advance how long to be detained in the detention; the decision is not on detainees.)

A truamatized, deported detainee from Californa Adelantion ICE processing center.

Year 2020, Spring/ Summer.

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freetheshit-outofyou · 4 years ago

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Donny puts people at risk for a photo op. It's unfortunate that another virus exists among millions of people who don't yet have a clue that this corona virus is not "just a flu" That mask wearing and social distancing is not a "Democratic hoax" It's world wide. In the end he will take a lot of people with him for his arrogance and ignorance.

OK slick! The Who and the CDC have been wrong at every turn of this mess. So if you really want to blame people blame the retards guiding this train wreck. Mr. Trump is not perfect, I’ll give you that, but he has tried to put in place systems to slow the spread of this virus, remember that little travel ban? You remember, come on think about it, the one that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said was “Un-American” and then when he expanded it she had this to say; “The Trump Administration’s expansion of its outrageous, un-American travel ban threatens our security, our values and the rule of law. The sweeping rule, barring more than 350 million individuals from predominantly African nations from traveling to the United States, is discrimination disguised as policy,” When people were getting sick all over the Nation Nancy Pelosi displayed by her actions and total disregard for the impact of this virus and encourage the people population to be out in it when she said: “It’s exciting to be here, especially at this time, to be able to be unified with our community,” Pelosi said on Feb. 24. “We want to be vigilant about what is out there in other places. We want to be careful about how we deal with it, but we do want to say to people ‘Come to Chinatown, here we are — we're, again, careful, safe — and come join us.'” But, in April when asked if Mr. Trump did the right thing with the travel ban Mrs. Pelosi did a 180 and implied the President did not go far enough. “So, if you’re going to shut the door because you have an evaluation of an epidemic, then shut the door,” She actually wanted the Mr. Trump to block US Citizens from coming HOME and abandoning them in whatever location they were in, NICE!

New York, Gov. Andrew Cuomo was almost gleeful in pointing out that Washington state had 22 deaths in an elderly care center when he said; “You see that in the 22 deaths in Washington compared to New York with no deaths,” he said at a March 10 news conference. “Right? Same number of cases, look how much higher Washington is. Because it’s about senior citizens.” But, not two months later New York State had 2300 confirmed deaths in elderly care centers with another 2800 unconfirmed deaths from CoVID. (Side note: NY is now approaching 7,000 confirmed CoVID deaths just in elderly care centers.) On 25 March Gov. Cuomo put in place a directive that prohibited nursing homes from refusing to take in patients because they had or may have had COVID-19. That sent sick directly back into the elderly populations in the process infecting more than 20,000 elderly care workers along with tens of thousands of elderly WHO WERE NOT SICK. Gov. Cuomo kept that bullshit “directive” in place for 2 months, killing thousands of people and still takes no responsibility for it. Mr. Trump had very little to do with the shit shows that most state governors had going on, their hodge podge reactions to the the virus and their piss poor responses that cost their state populations lives. So stop with your shit throwing because you’re just wrong. MASKS, ALWAYS FUCKING MASKS

I am telling you right now masks are not going to save people, they are not saving people because people are not equipped with masks that DO FUCKING ANYTHING PROTECTIVE. I’ll break this down for you because it is clear you have a hard on for masks, gimp. N95 respirators and the like are MADE with specific materials to filter both the intake and expulsion of gasses. Anyone who has ever used a respirator in any kind in a professional environment knows for a mask/respirator to be effective they need to FIT TESTED, Bubba and Bertha in Bucksnort Tennessee (A real place, I broke down there once.) are not Fit Testing shit in their double wide. On the same note, Bruce and Betty in Beverly Hills are not Fit Testing either. So, no matter the quality of the mask/respirator with out a proper fit, without a proper seal they are just about worthless. This is what the CDC has to say on Fit Testing; “Because fit is so important, NIOSH recommends and OSHA requires that each respirator wearer receive an initial fit test and annual fit tests thereafter. It is not possible to predict how well a respirator will fit on a particular face, even for respirators that fit well on a broad range of facial sizes. The FDA does not recommend or require any test of fit for surgical masks. A very limited number of published studies are available on this aspect of surgical mask performance. Three clinical studies conducted in the 1980s and 90s found no difference in surgical infection rates when staff did not wear surgical masks.1, 2, 3 A recent laboratory study of five surgical masks with “good” filters found that 80–100% of subjects failed an OSHA-accepted qualitative fit test using Bitrex (a bitter tasting aerosol) and quantitative fit factors ranged from 4–8 (12–25% leakage) using a TSI Portacount.4 In contrast, the least protective type of respirator (negative pressure half mask) must have a fit factor (outside particle concentration divided by inside concentration) of at least 100 (1% leakage).” Now, let’s move on to the hand made and store bought masks, bandana’s and neck gators. ALL of them are trash. NONE of them provide any proven protection against anything. The N95, named 95 because of its rating to blocks less than 100% of airborne particulates, can filter down to .3 microns, that's great right. But, the mask you bought at the Walmart or made in your sewing room, made with tight weave cotton and double or triple layered does not. That is a fact. Boys and Girls, masks that are not properly worn, masks that are do not properly fit, and masks that are made of martials not specifically made to fitter particulates are a feel good measure. It is intended to make you fell like you are doing something constructive but in reality it is just the placebo effect you feel. I encourage people to do things that make them feel safe, it keeps people form panicking, but don’t try to press your fearmongering on me. See, I know a thing or two about the science of this, and your CoVID Karen pushing of mask will not sway me from the actual science behind particulate filtration.

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katehuntington · 5 years ago

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Title: Ride With Me (part seven) Fandom: Supernatural AU Characters series: Reader, Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer, Ellen Singer-Harvelle, Jo Singer (Harvelle), Benny Lafitte, Ash Miles, Garth Fitzgerald IV, Castiel Novek, and many more. Timeline: 2008 Pairing: Dean x Reader (eventually) Word count: ±6650 words Summary series: Y/N is a talented horse rider who is on her way to become a professional. In order to convince her father that she deserves the loan needed to start her own farm, she goes to Arizona for six months, to intern at a ranch owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. Her future is set out, but then she meets a handsome horseman, who goes by the name of Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family. Summary part seven: While Dean makes a tough decision regarding who has to leave the ranch, Y/N finds it more and more difficult to keep her feelings in check. Warnings series: NSFW, 18+ only! Fluff, angst, eventually smut. Swearing, smoking, alcohol intoxication, alcohol abuse. Mutual pining, heartbreak. Crying, nightmares, childhood trauma. Description of animal abuse, domestic violence, mentions of addiction. Financial problems, stress, mental breakdown. Description of blood and injury, hospital scenes, character death, grief. Music: Thin Line - honeyhoney (bar scene), Ride to Death - Carter Burwell (evening ride scene), Wonderwall - Ryan Adams (scene under the Joshua tree). Check out ‘Kate Huntington’s Ride With Me playlist’ on Spotify! Author’s note: Thank you @kittenofdoomage and @girl-with-a-fandom-fettishfor helping me. You girls are awesome betas.

Ride With Me Masterlist

Dean pulls his head out of the refrigerator with six bottles of Corona hooked between his fingers. After he straightens his back, he pops off the cap with an opener, repeating the action until all bottles are opened. He’s about to break out the whiskey for his uncle, when the ranch owner hobbles towards the bar. The wrangler doesn’t really register him, though, because as his hands work swiftly, he watches his crew. The group of young men and women laugh over a - without a doubt - exaggerated story told by Benny, as they down the first round of the evening. It's Friday and the night is still young. With a day off in foresight, the workers allow themselves to enjoy the evening to the fullest. Dean will go easy on the alcohol, he has the early shift tomorrow. Amongst the group of staff, there is one person in particular who brings a smile to his face. Y/N’s laughter carries through the saloon, mixing with the country music that comes from the jukebox. It’s a great sound, one that causes the corners of his mouth to creep up. Jo and Ash are teaching her how to play poker and so far she’s terrible at it, but that doesn't seem to matter. She’s having tons of fun and gets along great with the others. Still wearing a smile, Dean glances down when he pours the amber liquor into the whiskey glass, sets it down on the bar after which he slides it towards Bobby. As if he knows who is on the wrangler's mind, he glances over at the intern as well. “So how’s our ‘wannabe cowgirl’ doing?” the ranch owner wonders.

A chuckle rumbles deep down Dean’s throat. He remembers calling her that when he shared his concerns with Bobby on the night of her arrival. “She survived the first week,” he admits. “Y/N’s a good fit. Still has a lot to learn, but she works hard and she’s smart.” “So, what you're sayin’ is that the intern isn't a total disaster like you predicted?” Bobby continues, his brow raised. “You just wanna hear me say you were right, don't ya?” Dean returns, amused either way. Bobby’s face shows a glimpse of a smile while nursing the tumbler of whiskey. “Maybe.” The young man shakes his head grinning as he takes a swig from his Corona. “What I'm sayin’ is that you got lucky. You know this could have gone south,” he returns, not giving his uncle the satisfaction. “It could have,” the ranch owner admits. “But I had to get creative; talking about things going south.”

The tone of the conversation changes instantly, leaving a heavy silence. Smiles die, their heads dip down, and gone is the pleasant Friday night feel. Dean is fully aware of where this conversation is heading towards. The issue has been bothering him for an entire week now. He has to decide who of his men to let go “Have you made up your mind yet?” Bobby asks his right hand. Dean nods, letting a sigh slip from his lips. He feels like he’s about to snitch on a friend. But this is business, it's what's necessary for the ranch to survive. It’s not personal, and yet it is, because it’s pulling on his heartstrings when he pronounces the name. “Ash.”

Dean’s eyes land on the group at the long table again. The Lynyrd Skynyrd roadie from Kentucky with tattoos on his arms and the wind in his hair is the one who has to go. It wasn't an easy decision, but it was the logical one. With the livestock reducing to only sixty cows and their calves, he will not have enough work to fill his day. What also weighs in, that Ash was hired last. Nevertheless, Gold Canyon is his home and he is a part of this family. He watches the guy, how he points out the pair of jacks in the open card game they are playing to teach the intern Texas Hold’em. The genuine smirk on his face is followed by a backhand down five when she wins. Poor dude, he has no idea what he’s about to lose. “I’ll break it to him after the weekend.” The voice of the old man, who seems to have aged during their chat, is sad and burdened. It's clear as a bell that laying off Ash is the last thing he wants for the bull rider, who he took under his wing half a decade ago. It’s a position Dean doesn't want his uncle in; the troubled ranch owner has enough on his plate as it is. “I’ll do it,” he offers. “Nah, I got this one, son,” Bobby says, reassuring him as he reaches across the bar to put a hand on his shoulder. “Join‘em, make the most of tonight.” His nephew nods while picking up the drunks, and heads for the table, after glancing at Bobby Singer another time. Dean swallows down the guilt and worry before he takes a seat, leaving his company oblivious to the dark clouds that are gathering above them. “So, how's it going? Do I have a new competitor yet?” he asks both Ash and Y/N while he gives out the beers. “I'm getting the hang of it,” she returns confidently, picking up the two cards Garth just dealt. Dean watches the young woman without her noticing, too focused on the game. Ash observes every action over the shoulder of his apprentice without helping her this time and is proud when she wins once again with three eights. “Beginners luck,” Jo scoffs, pushing the pot in her friend’s direction. “Keep telling yourself that.” Y/N grins at the blonde from across the table.

It’s Jo’s turn to shuffle when a group enters. Distracted by the squeaking sound of the double doors, Y/N looks up, noticing that Casey is amongst the guests. Ignoring the heavy feeling in her chest, she directs her eyes back to the cards, the bright smile on her lips toned down. Expecting Dean to have his eyes on his probable fix for tonight, her gaze wanders. He noticed the pretty brunette, but it’s not Casey he’s looking at. As Y/N glances over, so does he, and they both seem to feel caught for busting each other. She cannot help but wonder why he would be checking on her, though. Was he curious about her response? “Hey, handsome.” Dean smiles up at Casey, who positions herself behind his chair, laying her delicate hands on his shoulders as she kisses him on the cheek. He forces himself to come off as sincere, but there’s an anchor restraining him. “Hey,” he responds. “Had a nice ride?” “I did. Would have been better if you were there,” she flirts.

The game continues, but Jo doesn't deal for him, assuming that the two are going to leave for the bunkhouse anyway, like they usually do whenever Casey is here. After giving out the cards, the ranch owner's daughter peeks up from her hand, noticing her friend, who tries to mask the annoyance and disappointment to what is happening on the other end of the table. When she looks up, Jo’s brown eyes lock on hers as she lifts her chin shortly, the mimic asking if her friend is okay. Y/N nods and fakes a smile, but loses this game anyway.

“Hey, you wanna get outta here? To have another sort of ride,” Casey whispers in Dean’s ear as she leans in. He gulps down his beer and sets down the bottle. Her offer should sound tempting, then why isn't he intrigued? Instinctively, his eyes slip over to Y/N again. She seems to be concentrated on the game of poker, but she’s not at ease like she was a minute ago. This time she doesn't grant him any recognition of his existence. “I - uh…” he starts, brought back to the conversation when Casey softly massages his tense shoulder muscles. “I had a busy week and I have to work tomorrow, so I'm gonna hit the hay early.” “I can come along and help you relax,” she presses, now wrapping her arms around his neck.

Y/N picks up on Casey’s offer and grinds her teeth. Suddenly she’s angry with herself. How could she be so stupid to let herself get swooned off her cowboy boots by that scumbag ? Sure, she fought it, she denied it, but at the same time, she found hope in every smile he threw at her, in his flirts and compliments. How could you possibly think for even one short second that he only has eyes for you?! What makes you so special?

When Y/N loses to Benny again, she glances at her watch. Ten past nine; it's not too late to train with Meadow. She was reluctant to leave the fun a moment ago, but now leaving the Saloon seems like the best idea she has had all week. Y/N gets up, attracting confused looks from the company. “You're leaving?” Jo assumes. “Yeah, I still have to train Meadow,” Y/N excuses. “You're gonna ride now ?” Dean responds, perplexed. “We were just having fun.” “No one ever improved their skills by getting plastered and by just having fun, Dean,” she responds, his name coming out with a sneer. “If you want to own it, you've got to work for it.”

The cowgirl gets up and pushes the chair back under the table, the sound of its legs scratching the wooden floor breaking the silence. As she turns around to leave, her eyes meet Jo’s, who has a ‘you tell’im, girl!’ grin on her face. The doors flap after she walks through them, and the men at the table chuckle. “She's a diehard, that’s for sure,” Ash says. “Yeah...” Dean acknowledges, confused. “She is."

He watches her go for a few more seconds, determined strides, frustration in the sound of her footsteps. What the hell was that all about? For someone who claims to be strictly business, she turned pretty defensive when Casey got a little clingy. Oh, he caught the true meaning behind her words, alright. Is she really implying that if he wants her, he has to step up his game? If that’s the case, this might actually be a good thing. Yes, she’s annoyed with him right now, but this could mean he has an actual shot. “So, what do you say?” Casey asks again, pressing a seducing kiss in his neck. He glances up at the gorgeous young woman. She is pretty, wavy brown hair frames her flawless face, some freckles sprinkled on her nose and cheeks. Under that blue blouse and bootcut jeans, there is the body of a pinup girl. One who knows how to get a man’s engine running, which he had the pleasure of experiencing more than once. Dark, lustful eyes tell him all about what she has in store for him once she gets him alone. Yet for the first time, he’s not interested. “I'm gonna have to pass,” Dean decides. Somewhat stunned, Casey keeps a hold of the wrangler’s gaze, giving him a second to reconsider. When he doesn't, she creates a little distance and straightens her back. “Alright then,” she huffs. “Your loss.” The brunette strides away towards the bar, leaving the poker players in awkward silence. Ash and Garth follow the gorgeous beauty with their eyes, then simultaneously turn their heads to look at Dean, perplexed. “Dude, did you just piss off two women in one minute? That's impressive, even for you,” Ash comments. Jo snorts, her beer almost coming from her nose. Dean glares at her. “What?” she counters. “You just turned down a female specimen of the human race. We should call 12 News.” “Are you done?” Dean replies, agitated. Before Jo can throw in another cocky counter, Benny lays down a flush and gets up as he clears his throat. “If you kids will excuse me. I've got a fish to reel in. Keep the change." He winks at Dean, who nods back at his friend as a sign of consent. The head wrangler held his part of the agreement, and Benny is going to take full advantage of that. He watches how the farrier settles down on the barstool next to Casey, complimenting the beautiful girl with his irresistible accent, after which he offers her a drink. “That slick Southern bastard, he’s going to have her in his bed before she knows it,” Ash says, eying at the pair with an impressed look on his face, but then he rises from his seat. “How about some pool, y’all?” Garth gets up to follow him, but Dean declines. “I'll be right up,” Jo promises. When the guys move over, Jo corners her cousin. She gets up, walks around the long table and feels his forehead. “Jo, don't be ridiculous.” He smacks her hand away. “I'm not sick.” “Then what the hell is going on with you?” she asks, confronting. “Casey is your usual set of hooters to honk. Since when do you just turn that down?” “Since now,” the head wrangler answers shortly. “Why?” The head wrangler sighs annoyed. “Because I got bored.” “Because your eye caught something shinier,” Jo corrects. “Dean, Y/N is off limits.” “Says who?!” he argues. “Says me!” “You can't tell me who I can or can't--” “- fuck and dump when you're done with her?" his little cousin interveans. "Yeah, I can! She's my friend, damn it!” “Your friend?” Dean scoffs, fighting with Jo as siblings would. “You barely know her. This is her fifth day!” “Since when is there a mandatory minimum time on friendship?” she cries out. “I care about her and you know just as well as I do that she’s gonna end up with the trash like Casey.” Dean shrugs, finding her arguments invalid. “Casey doesn’t give a shit.” “But Y/N will,” Jo brings to mind. “You will leave her a heartbroken mess when you’re done with her. She’ll go home cryin’ and you know damn well we’re gonna need her.” That comment triggers Dean to furrow his brow. Being the daughter of the owner has its perks. Apparently, she’s aware of the financial problems that are threatening the company. “How much do you know?” Dean questions with a lowered voice. “I know there's gonna be a layoff and that we are gonna need all the free help we can get,” Jo states, whispering. The head wrangler sighs, checking on his crew at the pool table. His eyes linger when he spots Ash, who pockets number thirteen and repositions himself behind the white ball for his next turn. “Dean, you can't afford to screw around,” his cousin adds. I’m not screwing around, is on the tip of his tongue, but he keeps his mouth shut. He’s not going to let his cousin in on something he doesn’t understand himself. “She's not going anywhere, I'll make sure of that,” Dean assures, calmer than a moment ago. “She better not, ‘cause if she does, that’s gonna be on you.” With those words, the youngest Singer gets up and heads for the pool table as well. Dean watches her, staying behind with only his beer for company. Burdened, he drops his head, his jaw tensing. Great. One of his good friends is going to get fired next week, he doesn't feel like blowing off steam with Casey, and Jo won't even allow him to be with the girl he’s after. Not that she's falling for his usual tricks, anyway. Just fucking great. With a sigh he downs his beer, which lost its spark, causing him to make a face at the bland taste. Then he gets up and exits the Saloon. Leaving the muffled sounds of music, conversation, and laughter behind, he slouches down the porch. The evenings are pleasantly warm, now that the monsoon season is reaching the home stretch. The night sky is so clear, that a thick ribbon of stars meanders across, the absence of light pollution allowing the Milky Way to shine brightly. Going over tonight’s decisions once again, Dean heads towards the bunkhouse, when two individuals catch his eye. About a hundred yards ahead, Benny has his arm around Casey as they stroll up to the front door. Before he opens it, she tiptoes when the farrier turns towards her, meeting him in a hot kiss. “Benny, you sly dog,” Dean grins. Surely, he grants his friend the home run, but a part of him thinks of passing up Casey as a loss, now that he will be left empty-handed. The early night isn't going to happen either, since Benny’s room is next to his. He halts as the two enter the bunkhouse, passionately making out, then he breathes out a humid cloud of air. No way in hell he is going to listen to those two banging their heads against the backboard for the rest of the evening. Dean turns around, considering to head back to the Saloon, but then he notices the lighted outdoor arena. He almost forgot; Y/N is still at the barn. Maybe this evening does not have to be a total loss after all. Jo’s voice whales in the back of his mind, but it doesn't stop him from heading over. He’s just going to have a talk to clear the air, no harm in that, right? Under the stars, he strolls towards the outdoor arena, listening to the crickets which chirp loudly in the dry grass. The two lanterns spread brightness over the otherwise dark and deserted lands, creating long shadows on the ground where the fencing blocks the rays. A horse moves steadily on a large circle, relaxed and in harmony with her rider. Y/N has not noticed Dean yet, too concentrated to pick up on the spectator. There is a peacefulness in the air that distracts him from the troubles on his mind. The coolness of the night causes Meadow to breathe out warm clouds with every third beat of the gait, leaving a misty trail behind her, like a steam train puffing out clouds rhythmically. The silhouette of horse and rider passes by the fence every time they come between the wrangler and the light is as if he’s watching an eclipse. It brings a smile to the cowboy’s face. Bobby was right; Y/N is talented.

Slowly, he strolls up to the gate, moving into the yellow rays coming from the high masts. This time she does notice him and eyes the head wrangler, perplexed. He is the last person she expected to see here at this hour, especially since Casey couldn't wait to drag him away to do all kinds of dirty things to him. “H - hey,” she stammers, half surprised, half confused. “How is she doing?” he wonders while nodding at the horse, more to get the conversation going. Suddenly self-conscious about every move she makes, Y/N sits back slightly and lets her mare transition to an easy walk, loosening the reins and petting her on the shoulder with her free hand. “She’s good, a little fresh,” she responds. “I didn't expect you here.” “I was on my way to the bunkhouse, saw the lights,” Dean explains casually. The rider barely smiles at that, still unsure how to behave around him after the way she left the Saloon thirty minutes ago. An awkward silence follows and she decides to continue her training to keep busy. With a forward motion of the hand and a small aid with the legs, Meadow swiftly pushes into a lope, head down and light on the bit, as she should be. The muscles of the well-developed Quarter horse roll under her shiny coat with every stride, flexing and relaxing again. It might look like child’s play, and yet Y/N was less nervous for the Nationals last year than she is now. She can feel Dean’s eyes on her, watching every move closely. As he does, the wrangler climbs the steel fence, hooking his heels behind the middle bar and resting the palm of his hands on the top one for balance. Intrigued, he observes the training, reading into her skills. Now that she’s aware of him, her riding seems a little stiffer than it was before. Is she actually nervous now that he's here? His presumption is confirmed when she turns in the other direction halfway in a circle through a flying change. Her timing is far from perfect and the horse changes from a left to a right lope a stride too late, unable to translate the aid into an action before the perfect moment mid-stride. Despite the mistake, Y/N tussles Meadow’s manes. For a second Dean wonders if it’s because she didn't recognize the timing being off, but then she performs the exercise again, nailing it this time. Dean smiles at that, content with her method of training. Meadow did exactly what her rider inquired of her, it was the rider who inquired wrong. Where plenty would have corrected the horse or even punished it, Y/N didn't, because she was very much aware that it was a human error. After only a couple of minutes, he has a pretty good idea what kind of rider she is. Truly feeling what happens under the saddle is something most people will never get down. It’s almost like an extra sense, a skill only so many equestrians have. Y/N is one of those gifted equestrians. How she handled that communication error, is what separates horse riding from horsemanship. Satisfied, Y/N uses her seat to bring Meadow back to an easy walk, after which Y/N lets her move around freely; the mare is done for today. Now that her horse doesn't require her full attention any more, she is forced to deal with the handsome yet overbearing spectator. Why on earth is he even here? Isn't he supposed to be getting laid right now? Oh yes, seeing him with Casey rubbed her the wrong way. She’s fully aware of that fact, and he probably is too. Should she have let him push her buttons like that? No. Was it his intention to mess her up? Probably not. Was she overreacting when she barked at him back at the Saloon? Maybe a little. “Feel better now?” he asks out of the blue. Y/N furrows her brow, glancing over when she rides by his spot on the fence, trying to sense in which direction he is going. “What do you mean?” Dean shrugs, dropping his gaze to the sand for a moment. “For me, a good ride usually works as a stress reliever, and you seemed on edge earlier.” As the rider cools down Meadow by walking her on a free rein, she considers her options carefully before she speaks. Darn, so he did notice. Then again, the sneer she fired at him was hard to miss. Denying it isn't going to do her much good, so she might as well skip past it. “I'm fine. Who needs meditation when you spend time on the back of a horse, right?” she replies. She wasn't keeping up an appearance, because Dean is right. Her mood did change for the better the moment she opened the stable door and was greeted by her four-legged friend. By the time she settled on her back, the whole thing seemed silly and unimportant. “Especially on a horse like that. She’s good,” Dean compliments. “The rider could use a lesson or two…” Y/N stares at him over her shoulder self consciously, turning Meadow around to face the cowboy. Is he serious? But when she spots the smirk on the wrangler’s face, followed by the subtle wink, she cannot help but chuckle. “Let me guess: you should be the one teaching me,” she fills in. “I can't think of anyone more capable,” he grins, his eyes sparkling like the stars above. “Of course you can't,” she laughs as Meadow halts, allowing her to swing her leg over the back and smoothly lower herself until her feet reach the ground. Glad to have gotten rid of the awkwardness, Dean gets down from the fence and opens the gate. Y/N leads the Quarter mare to the tack up area under the tree and her company follows, hitting the light switch when he passes it. The arena spots die down, leaving the only light to come from inside the barn together with the moon and galaxy above. As she takes off Meadow’s bridle and replaces it with a leather halter, she cannot help but to analyze herself. When she angrily speed-walked from the Saloon to the stable with her fists clenched in her pockets, she was calling Dean out for being a dirty scumbag with no respect for women whatsoever. But now that he’s here and apparently still takes an interest in her, a part of her is thrilled by that matter, and steadily overrules. Y/N, you know better than this! He just wants to get in your pants! He will dispose of you like an empty coffee container when he’s done with you! She continues the inner dialogue while loosening the girth, after which she lifts the heavy saddle off Meadow’s back. “I got it,” Dean says, taking over the twenty-five-pound load. He holds the back of the saddle on his hip, balancing it by gripping the gullet. As if it weighs nothing at all, the wrangler heads to the tack room. Amused, Y/N watches him from under her Stetson hat, her eyes taking him in from top to bottom. Oh, you just cannot help yourself, can you? Meadow snorts impatiently and rubs her head against her shoulder. She is making herself perfectly clear; the Queen doesn't have time for this and wants to get to her hay, pronto. After a quick brush Y/N leads her to her stable and puts a rug on the horse to protect her from the cold in the early hours. Buried in thoughts, she enters the tack room where Dean is about to put the saddle away. She watches him push the saddle upon the highest rack on the wall, his strong arms working under his plaid shirt. “Can I ask you something?” she wonders while she stores away the brushes, leg protection, and bridle. “Shoot,” he says, as the two of them exit the room, which the head wrangler locks up. The cowgirl hesitates, her footsteps suddenly loud and obvious when she begins to walk down the hall between the stables. “It might be a little straightforward--” “Really? You being straightforward?” he interrupts, a smug grin on his face. “Now, that I wasn't expecting.” She glares at the handsome cowboy, but can't suppress the smile either. The sarcasm is practically dripping off his comment and she bumps her shoulder into his. “Watch it,” she warns. “You’re not entirely on my good side yet.” A last glance into the quiet stable is sufficient to reassure Dean that the horses are alright until the final feeding round. He leaves the light on for his uncle and exits the barn through the large doors. “Yeah, about that. What did I do to make you storm off?” The two of them walk out, back to the tack up area. For a moment Y/N thinks of an answer, but nothing that she can come up with sounds reasonable. To be fair, she’s not even sure if she’s ready to admit why she got so frustrated with him. Dean is a free man, who can see whoever and do whatever he pleases. Yet when Casey put her arms around him and got intimate, she felt a prick in her heart. Her stupid, stupid heart wanted to be the one close to him, even though her smart mind is trying to keep it together and do the respectable thing. “It was nothing, really,” she excuses, not giving him much of an explanation. Dean glances aside, reading into the doubt in her voice. What is it, that she doesn't want to tell him? Could it be, that in that moment, she was jealous of Casey? He thinks about it for a second, as he slowly strolls to the big Joshua tree in the center of the square. He has played a lot of girls, but that sure as hell was not what he was doing here. He never intended to lure Y/N out of hiding, though her response to the situation raises a question. If watching him and another girl really bothered her that much, does that mean that she is interested in him? Confused, he bites the inside of his cheek as he halts. “What did you want to ask me?” he wonders. For a moment there, she was lost in her own mind, but then Y/N redirects her focus and turns around to face him. Curious, he observes the young woman as he leans against the bark of the tall Yucca tree. The sight of Mister Green Eyes wonderingly looking over, forces her to take a breath before she speaks. Stars reflect in his pupils, the moon painting their surroundings in a silver hue. It reminds her of the hills back home, covered in frost at the arrival of winter. Dean’s short hair has been tousled by the hat he took off and now holds by the brim. The up-to-no-good smile is gone, but he seems content either way. God, isn't he lovely. Annoyed with herself for thinking such things, she looks down, figuring that not being mesmerized by his gorgeous looks might help her keep it together. “I was just wondering…” she starts insecure. “I - I mean, you and Casey… Are you two…?” Dean frowns at the presumption. So it was about Casey. “Together? No.” He huffs, unable to picture it. “She and some friends rent a house here for a week or two a year to blow off some steam. We’ve hooked up a couple of times whenever she comes over, but it doesn't mean anything.” Y/N digests the information and keeps her gaze pinned on the hat in his hands. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean anything. See? He doesn't care about Casey and he surely won't care about her either. But if he doesn't care for Casey, she doesn’t have to compete with anyone. Wait... She’s not actually considering making a move, is she? Y/N, you are under no circumstances making a move! she tells herself sternly. God, this is what schizophrenia must feel like. Trying to distract herself from the voices in her head, she carries on with the conversation. “I'm sorry for asking. I know it’s none of my business, but I - I cannot help to wonder…” Now she does look up, a little shocked when she realizes how close Dean is. His eyes are on her, peeling away the layers as he tries to make sense of what she’s struggling to say. “If Casey is at the ranch, why are you here with me?” Stunned, Dean keeps a hold of her gaze. She isn’t asking the obvious, but that is a damn good question. Casey offered herself on a silver plate back in the Saloon. Dean never experienced much trouble with the ladies, yet the brunette, in particular, couldn't wait to open her legs for the wrangler. He could have had her in his bed right now, letting her do all kinds of delightful things to him. Yet here he is, opposite of the girl that has been giving him a hard time from the get-go. The thought of Casey did nothing for him, he simply wasn’t interested in the regular ranch guest. Why is that? Brought out of balance by the question, he chuckles nervously and breaks eye contact, fiddling with the brim of his hat again. Slowly it starts to sink in. Why he would much rather be here with Y/N under the Joshua tree. Why he felt the need to protect her from Benny’s lust. Why he lost interest in any other girl. Why every wandering thought, every daydream he had in the past week, was somehow about the one person standing before him. He looks up at her again and something within him changes. A tightness in his chest that he has never experienced before makes it difficult to swallow. It's unpleasant, scary even, but the sight of her waiting in wonder takes away the discomfort. The faint light from the night’s sky caresses her hair and smooth skin. A pair of gorgeous eyes framed with long lashes watch, traces of hesitation in them, but also curiosity. God, she’s beautiful, he thinks to himself.

Dean fails to answer her question with words. He doesn't have to. His mouth falls open just a little as he looks deep into her eyes with an intensity she is unfamiliar with, simply because no one has ever looked at her like that before. As if only now he came to realize what is happening between the two of them. He can tell that she understands now, because her insecurity makes way for astonishment. “Oh…” she responds, flustered, a shy smile growing larger. He mirrors her expression without letting go of her gaze. His pupils bounce between hers as he leans in hesitatingly. Every fiber he consists of wants to kiss the enchanting cowgirl before him and he cannot stop his eyes from flicking down at her lips for just a moment, then up again. Would she let him? What are you waiting for? Just go for it, Dean lectures himself. This isn't the first time he’s kissed a girl, however, doubt overwhelms him. What if she pulls back? What if he ruins it? Could he handle that? Before the cowboy can decide to act or not to act, she looks down and lets out a shuddering breath, the anticipation becoming too much. “Are you cold?” he asks kindly, quickly covering up the awkwardness. She crosses her arms in front of her chest and nods. Not only did Meadow get a workout, so did her rider. Her clammy undershirt has turned stone cold and sends goosebumps down her arms. Or is it Dean who is doing that? “Let’s get inside. Wouldn't want you to catch something,” he suggests, not having a jacket to offer. She agrees to that, because the warmth of the bunkhouse sounds pretty good. In silence they stroll towards the cabin, her shoulders hunched in an attempt to keep the cold at bay, as Dean walks by her side. Overcome by the rush of mixed emotions, she glances at him from under her hat. He seems to be pondering, without a doubt going over the past minute. That one moment that Dean’s reason for wanting to be around her became clear, with nothing more than a look. Holy mother, he was going to kiss you, and you glanced down? Why would you do that? What were you thinking?! She could kick herself in the head right about now. It was the responsible thing to do, to avoid things from getting complicated, to keep their relationship strictly business. But dear God, she wanted him to close that gap and press his lips on hers. Dean walks up the porch and opens the door, after which he holds the fly curtain aside so that Y/N can pass through. As soon as she steps into the bunkhouse, peculiar sounds coming from one of the rooms draw her attention. Squeaking in a steady pace mixed with moans of both male and female, followed by a muffled ‘oh yeah’ and ‘right there’. Dean, who was about to pull the door shut, freezes mid-action when the noise reaches his hearing. Well then, this situation just went through the awkward scale. Y/N slowly turns to him, eyes wide in shock as she mouths ‘Oh my god!’ and he can't contain the quiet laughter. “Who’s in there?” she whispers. “My two cents: Benny and Casey,” he replies, keeping his voice down. “Are you serious?” she returns, watching him shrug. “She lost no time, did she?” “Like I said: it didn't mean anything,” he assures, grinning at her judgment. “Besides, you’re much better company anyway.” Y/N can feel the heat rising to her face again. She opens her mouth to return the compliment, when the sounds from the other room intensify. Dear Lord, those two are really going at it. Dean chuckles, awkwardly rubbing his neck. “I'm gonna get some shut-eye, if I can with those rabbits next door.” “Yeah, me too,” she says, shaking her head as she makes a mental note to dig up a set of earplugs from her suitcase. In the doorway Y/N turns around, granting herself a last look at the man that is stealing her heart away. “Good night.” “G’night,” Dean returns with a soft voice, keeping a hold of her gaze as well until she shuts the door. The sounds of the couple in the other room is all that is left, a painful reminder of his loneliness. Could this evening have played out differently if he had kissed her? It probably could have. Shit, what if he wasted his only shot? For a few seconds the wrangler lingers, but then turns towards his room, where he sits down on the edge of his empty bed. Banning the noises of pleasure next door from his mind, Dean forks his fingers together as he leans his forearms on his knees. He's so confused by his own thoughts and how he’s responding to them, that he doesn't seem to know himself anymore. For some reason his conscience is telling him not to rush this, to take it one step at a time. What if for once in his life, this could grow into something more than just a fling? At the same time, another voice raises awareness for the mixed signals she’s been giving, because she hasn’t exactly sent him a private invitation. And even if she does go along with it for a little while, what happens when she truly gets to know him? What happens when she learns about his tainted past, the family drama, his flaws and missteps? What happens when she sees him for who he truly is, under the mask and the pile of bullshit? The only reason why he can live with himself is because he swept the dirt under the carpet a long time ago and keeps pretending it's not there. When she knows, she will leave, he’s sure of it, and the thought of that alone scares him already. But it’s his heart that shouts the loudest, practically begging to throw himself at her. His heart which was rooting for that kiss. His heart which finally seems to have found what it had been silently waiting for. Pondering, Dean rubs his face and glances at the desk clock on his nightstand, which shows the time at 10.47 PM. Next to it, a picture stares back, portraying his Mom with her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling her four-year-old son against her chest lovingly. Like he has so many times over the years, he wishes she was still alive. Right about now, this lost wanderer could use someone to point him in the right direction.

The pining! They were so close! Thank you for reading. I appreciate every single one of you, but if you do want to give me some extra love, you are free to like or reblog my work, shoot me a message or buy me coffee (Link to Kofi in bio at the top of the page).

Read part eight here

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soholdmetightao3 · 5 years ago

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I know this is tumblr and everyone’s Woke. But I better not fucking hear anyone saying they’re not going to vote if the democratic they want doesn’t win. I don’t care whose running against Trump if you don’t fucking vote for them what are you doing? We don’t have time for another “my vote doesn’t count” “I’m sending a message by not voting.”

No! FUCK that!!

I know everyone wants Bernie and I do too or whoever you wanted but if people don’t go out and fucking vote in November I’m going to lose my mind. I know it’s coronavirus so who even knows what’s going to happen but vote from home, do whatever you have to! I cannot fucking take another presidency from this fucking racist, sexist, lying piece of shit. Yes Hilary won the popular vote so I get it the majority of people DIDN’T want him. You’re right. But if we’d had a bunch more people go out and vote maybe she’d have won by a landslide. I know it’s not fair and fuck American politics and Bernie ride or die or whatever you believe but Trump cannot win again.

Look around you. If you live in America you can see Trump is not doing a good job. Hell, if you live outside of the U.S. you can probably see us being made fun of or it’s said how crazy America is right now. And you’re right but I’m not here to make fun of American politics. VOTE in the election!

I’m sorry for shouting so much and know that if anyone ever wants to talk to me about anything on tumblr I am still here. But I am angry about this and I actually am going to go off.

Because I’m not saying this shit for drama my mom and sister might fucking die because of this. Trump isn’t funding our hospitals, he says nurses are hoarding the ventilators, their PPE, he says hospitals have more than enough and he’s NOT HELPING THEM. He’s going to be the death of these nurses. My mother, a 50 year old woman with cancer, is going into the hospital and doing her job as an ER nurse. She could very well die from this. They don’t have enough PPE (personal protection equipment i.e. masks, safety glasses, gloves, gowns, etc) and their hospital is overwhelmed with coronavirus patients. She doesn’t have a mask most days. She has taken over as instructing nurses because they are so short staffed, overworked, and there aren’t enough nurse practitioners. There isn’t order and there isn’t enough PPE. People are dying everyday.

My sister is a nurse at Detroit hospital. She works in the ICU. They don’t have enough ventilators. They give patients 10 minutes on the ventilator and if they can’t get the patient breathing again after 10 minutes the team moves on and that person DIES. Those are the choices nurses and doctors are being forced to make now. ‘You don’t have enough resources to save everyone, so which patient has to die?’ Because there is no option to save everyone. There isn’t even an option to save the medical staff. An Italian nurse who contracted coronavirus was being sent back to work to treat patients and she KILLED HERSELF to avoid giving it to patients.

A six week old baby in Connecticut got corona and the baby DIED.

My mom has cancer. My sister is working with the sickest of the sick. My family may be slashed in half over this fucking virus and the President isn’t trying to HELP them!!! Don’t let this fucker win! Don’t let him be the fucking president again PLEASE. PLEASE!! Please please I’m begging you he’s killing my family.

I never go on here to ask for money. I’ll never ask for money, I’ll never ask for help with finances or likes and people who do are fine but please god please this is the only time I will come onto this website begging, BEGGING, people to do something. Please vote in the presidential election. My mom and sister might fucking die and there’s nothing I can do about it but stay home and make masks, try and send food because we don’t even have the proper material to make these masks. My mom- my mother my parent please guys- and my sister, my best friend, the people I’ve grown up with might die. It’s extremely, extremely likely one if not both of them are going to die. And there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I just get to fucking watch people say they won’t vote unless it’s the candidate they want. And they’re tired of staying at home so they’re going to go on a fucking VACATION. People are fucking flying across the country, they can’t even be bothered to fucking stay home and my family is dying. They’re fucking dying taking care of people who are also dying and some of those people are treating them like shit. My family might die so if y’all could just go and fucking vote when the times comes and never let this man be president again at least that would be good. At least that could make some semblance of a fucking difference.

STAY AT HOME and FUCKING VOTE at the presidential election. Please god please, please stay home and please Jesus please vote please

#personal #guys I’m serious #i don’t care if i come off as preachy or pranoid please #please my family might fucking die #im so scared and I try not to think about it but I can’t even fucking focus on anything else please stay home #please stay home #please VOTE #please I am begging you to vote against Donald Trump in the election whoever his opponent is #coronavirus #nurses #emotional #sorry yikes #but shit gets heavy #i fucking go off

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articlehouse · 4 years ago

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New York Covid-19 Update

New symptoms of the new covid-19 / corona virus

A New York-based health care provider may have fraudulently obtained Covid-19 immunogens and transferred and administered the vaccinum to members of the overall public contrary to state tips, per Associate in Nursing announcement discharged by the large Apple State Health Commissioner Dr. Howard Zucker.

According to the statement, ParCare Community Health Network - famed by Zucker as associate Orange County provider - may have transferred the Covid-19 immunizing agent to facilities in different parts of the state in violation of state tips and administered it to members of the overall public. . "Contrary to the state's decide to administer it initial to frontline care staff, what is more as home residents and staffers."

Zucker says the large Apple Department of Health will assist state police in launching a criminal investigation into the matter.

A statement from ParCare maintains it's following tips issued by the large Apple State Department of Health and says, in part, it administers " Covid-19 vaccinations to those qualified to receive them," that it's going to "actively cooperate" with the health department. . on the matter.

New York state has reported over 914,000 cases of Covid-19 infection and over thirty seven, 000 deaths related to the virus. A replacement York-based health care provider may have fraudulently obtained Covid-19 immunogens and transferred and administered the vaccinum to members of the overall public contrary to state tips.

New symptoms of the new covid-19 / corona virus

ParCare Community Health Network - famed by Zucker as associate Orange County provider - may have transferred the Covid-19 immunizing agent to facilities in different parts of the state in violation of state tips and administered it to members of the overall public "contrary to The state's decide to administer it initially to frontline care staff, what is more as home residents and staffers. "

Zucker says the large Apple Department of Health will assist state police in launching a criminal investigation into the matter.

New York state has reported over 914,000 cases of Covid-19 infection and over thirty seven, 000 deaths related to the virus

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allezyshirt · 4 years ago

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How is this considered ju the Trash Animal Wtf Wine Tasting Friends Vintage T Shirt cyntoniabrown we riding with you this shit disgusting we must do all we can to free this young lady. Our home before and after the devastating woolsleyfire please donate anything you can to the malibu foundation in hopes to restore malibu s magic malibufoundation gvng org. Brandy Jutte We are just worried about the spread of this virus to the US The CDC is saying it s not a matter of if but when What kind of policies and steps are being put into place to protect the American people I m sure you and your administration is doing a great job when it comes to dealing with this virus but that doesn t help to settle our fears about this spreading like the plague Emily Troy I don’t believe this I believe this was started chemically to try andstop our Presidents good economy so people will think that Pres Trump caused this That’s what they want you to think It is done by countries who want to hurt the economy and is The Dems want us to take a shot to make us sick or kill us No Way no shot will I be taking Marcia Wilson Thank you very much for your heart felt response concerning our country Thank you for you determination in continuing to take the correct actions as you have been blessed with such discernment over MANY situations and and Leading our country back ont Xem thêm Marilyn Folz Mr President we know the dems Most of America loves you Rural America loves you because you have brought back jobs We can rebuild our small towns with some more help We need you We have your back TRUMP 2020 Doug Milliken We know you will provide the best possible protection for our great country Thank you Your doing the right thing and a great job of it Gina Mac Yes and the 15 in the US are reported to be concerned about lost luggage aka they are doing well and the hype surrounding this is being blown out of proportion Doing a great job Mr president Gregg W Jones I know you cannot read every comment but I still want to say that you and your Administration are doing a great job period Thank you for your leadership and for your service You sacrificed so much to be our President and you and your family has been in the target view of the Dems since your one Keep up the excellent work Sir This DAV is proud and thankful Shawn Stroh Bernie said you can’t predict when the virus will end but they have predicted when the world would end due to climate change 1000 times and were wrong every time TRUMP 2020 Firras Garada So are we going to ignore the CDC s warning today I m a doctor here in Michigan and believe the coronavirus is coming to wreak havoc in America Both for businesses and an overall health crisis Great job Mr President keep making this Country great The fact is just like the hurricanes and all the other emergencies we have had you have done your very best to take care of it and keep things at a minimal Through your Presidency you have absolutely done the best job possible in taking care of Americans And look at all the trolls on here Heather Lynn DeAnna President Trump you and your administration are excellent Nobody believes the liars on the other side This is a horrible disease that may cause harm but you have done your job Thank you Beth Jenks Thank you Mr President I don’t care what party what color young or old people we need to just believe Trump the CDC and let him make the decisions You better here me the Dems could have let that crap in here So don’t panic Trumps proved everything hes done on this Damn Dems wanted to let them all in Trump 2020 When you came to India we liked it very much But now after you leave there seems to be something deserted here Because my sister also lived there Good luck on reaching your country Rajkumar sahiba Raja Bhaiya State Genral Secretary LJP Uttar Pradesh INDIA Rem Rem Keep on doing what you do best running the country The dem debates tonight are a laughing stock A complete clown show LMAO They will always blame you It’s all they have but we know better they’re the do nothing dems just like you’ve said all along Kristin Valencia Aguiar Keep up the great work president Trump The Chinese government isn t being forthcoming and honest with this virus Put our best doctors and scientist on this to formulate a vaccine This looks like an orchestrated attack to bring our booming and prosperous economy to a halt Let s not let it happen Kimberley Reasor I trust you 2 do what you need 2 do You are doing a wonderful job in trying 2 keep this country which is should be your number one concern in both keeping us safe healthy Keep up the good work Trump2020 Travis Spada Not one death in the US What are the dems talking about Beat Trump that is their platform even if he made the right decision they are going to do the opposite Looks like an old folks home up there Tamara Stolzenthaler You are not communicating the truth You only care about stocks staying high so you can win the election Plus you need to be in quartentine after your travels David Brown I generally don t mind political gamesmanship but honestly this is the time to just come together and shut the borders till we get a handle on this before we end up like Italy Allen Stewart CV is a joke Spoke to a doctor who said it does not even compare to the Flu 30 000 affected in China So what There are 1 386 Billion people in China 20 30 cases in US 315 Million people in US Pure sensationalism Carol Hartford Howard You said it President Trump The DemoRATS complain criticize no matter what you do but I don’t see them coming up w any plan at all much less a better one IIn fact this is the party that supports open borders and sanctuary cities Hey Dems if you’re not part of the solution shut your pie hole stop the criticism Carol Hartford Howard You said it President Trump The DemoRATS complain criticize no matter what you do but I don’t see them coming up w any plan at all much less a better one IIn fact this is the party that supports open borders and sanctuary cities Hey Dems if you’re not part of the solution shut your pie hole stop the criticism Lauren Smith Nothing you do will please some of these people Just do the best you can most of us appreciate you and the efforts you make By what we have seen we have an idea of what you have to deal with to get anything done No one knows the shoes you walk in except you Trump2020 Judith Lacari I do not care about parties now my concern is the health and safety of US Citizens I trust you will add funding to the CDC and put additional medical staff to come up with a vaccine or preventive measures just in case the Corona virus spreads into the US Closing boarders is one measure we need medical prevention Kristie Newby Please consider an address to the nation to calm everyone down Everybody is panicking and the stock market shows their irrational fears A public address on what you are doing to protect us will reassure them Thank you for all that you do President Trump Donna Fell 8 200 people in the US died from the flu last year and millions fell ill The CDC told us to wash our hands stay away from those who are ill and that the flu is deadly and spreading Cody Buck So the CDC it’s basically saying that there is no solution for this coronavirus but to wash your hands several times a day and do not touch your face or nose And if you’re sick stay at home Period Damn all these new news updates give me anxiety I think I’m just going to stay away from people and enjoy my animals company Constance Williams The minute they announced Chelsea Clinton was on the board of WHO The World Health Organization Then Chuck Schumer said this administration wasn’t doing enough about the virus Joey Scott My daughter is a nurse and it’s not even a fear at their hospital 14 000 people have died in the United States from the flu this year is that a pandemic Is everyone running scared We’re all still working still living our daily lives and society I Xem thêm Paul Cochran Thank you President Trump but I see the Socialist Democrats and Biased Socialist Media turning this situation into another very UGLY ATTACK ON YOU I say stay strong and keep the heat on because scare tactics by the left will not work Stephanie Coleman People please This is just a cold on steroids Lysol has a list of pathogens it kills on the can Coronavirus is one of them This is not new Get a freaking grip If Trump cured cancer y’all would find something to complain about Steve Boyd Mr President I know you’re doing everything thing that can be done to protect the United States of America because you love the country The Dems lie I wish everyone had ears to hear them حسين عماد شنان I find it ironic that we have a drug pandemic in this country from drugs flooding this country through open borders yet the DEMS ARE DOING NOTHING TO HELP THIS I also find it interesting how they are pushing this flu causing panic They did this with the bird flu swine flu ebola virus etc and here we are during an election they must be running out of crap to blame you for Bonnie Kennington We have third world conditions in our Democratic run cities causing disease we have thousands of people dying from drugs we have thousands dying for lack of health care and we lose thousands to the flu every year even with vaccines think this new vi Xem thêm Wendy Clayton Hall You made great decisions closing the border and keeping Americans safe Keep on making good decisions and use your power of ignore with people who don’t agree with the good decisions you make for our country Trump2020 cant wait to vote Lauren Hartnett Thank you for cutting their budget funds last year and this year It should put us in a great position to beat this horrible virus Great job Vivian Warner The Dems will never like you their whole platform is based on hate Trump And they say conservatives are haters You can’t change the mind of someone running on passion and not facts David Rodriguez This country has a huge infrastructure of researchers physicians and professionals whose sole purpose is to protect Americans from situations like this There is little any one person even the president can do about it other than speak to the people Those who criticize the president are either ignorant or terribly misinformed or maybe both Carrie Crawford CDC needs to be held accountable for all the unsafe vaccines Please let Robert Kennedy Jr Start up the safety program to actually test vaccines Since 1986 they have not tested them 1out of 35 kids has Autism It’s not a coincidence vaccines sho Xem thêm Eutana Evans No matter what you say or do will never be acknowledged as being good for our country according to the Democrats They have their own agenda which is all about getting rid of you Period Keep up with what you are doing for us By the way I AM AN EX DEMOCRAT Jennifer Hastings So I have a family member currently in china and from what we ve been told everyone there is quarantined in their homes they are only allowed to leave to buy food and home supplies children are doing school from home online and they cost of flying in a Xem thêm Salam Raed You cut the funds on CDC to pay for the wall and now you blame the Dems Instead of stupid tweets try to find why medical face masks are out of stock almost everywhere Linda Sears The schizophrenia of the Dems First they say the President’s plan is DOA THEN they say he has no plan What it really is is the DEMS have no plan and no plan to have a plan except they don’t like Trump’s plan Bill Roudabush President Trump you’re first priority is to the safety of the American people You’re doing great Democrats and their Democrat activist journalists will condemn you know matter what you do Ignore them you have the majority of Americans behind you Cynthia Besson Fergusson We trust your doing an awesome job and protecting us We know you have our best interest at heart The Dems are just ruining it by whinning about everything and then we will believe nothing As Bill O Reilly noticed Biden just said 150 million people have been killed by gun violence Nobody says a word Insane Or did I hear it wrong My thoughts as a professional nurse He makes so many gAfs I really get worried for his mental well being Like him saying recently he was running for the US Senate or not identifying the correct name of a state he was in And many others My concern is does he have eArly dementia Voncile Stone The dems would much rather the virus take over the country if that made Trump look bad People dyeing means nithing to Schumer or Pelosi Trashing Trump is much more important they are truly mentially Ill Marilyn Demby Caulder You are doing a great job we don’t believe one word that comes out of the mouth of those lying Democrats the debate tonight was more like a circus They are scared of you that’s for sure and they better be afraid very afraid Trump 2020 Mike Perry The Democratic party actually loves the prospect of a pandemic that effectively destroys the economic prosperity of every country in the WORLD these people have NO limitations of who ever needs to Die for their agenda to be put into place and fo Xem thêm Michael Stovall On the Democrat Debate Stage tonight all the Circus Clowns said you President are not doing enough to protect the United States from the Coronavirus I am sure the Fake News Media will be repeating what the Debate Clowns said Jeremy Church It just occurred to me The fact that we don t live in a third world communist country where we are forced to work relentlessly for little to no pay That we have access to healthcare The fact that our government doesn t view us as subjects Kathy Doering Leyba LOVE YOU BIG D Dems need to stop using the COVID 19 to further their political gains Shameful Real Americans know how to help themselves Stop whining and get your house straight for a bumpy ride thru this potentially difficult journey Snowflakes Kay Chaney America Thanks You Mr President and the majority of it is very pleased with You as our Commander Chief We all are very aware of the Dems their fake media every one of their crooked schemes Where by they are nailing their own feet to the floor Laura Murphy Taylor Americans always know when you do the right thing by the level of outrage the Democrats have So if their faces are melting and their hair is in fire We know you did it right Janice Smith You can do no right in the Dems eyes but who cares Your Patriots have your back Jennifer Bishop And I don’t care if a DEMOCRAT’S post negative crap on my post Anyone that thinks the way Sander’s Boomer Obama Clinton and all them think is ok then there is definitely some screws missing BobDebra Lee Thank you Sir Thank you for the continued success off the wall and thank you for closing the gates to those coming in that could possibly be exposed Democrats are just really unhappy people They would crucify Jesus again if he were here Amazingly sad Frances Willden got to be 5 steps ahead the dems must be all on crack or your hitting to close to home or their pockets what both I do why ahead where does it hurt your ready to face it on meaning a storm comes flash lights generators if it dont work propane and m Xem thêm Matthew Perry Thank you President Trump for protecting our boarders and health The Dems will never give you a fair evaluation You do what is right for the American people and we all know it Richard Griswold By the way Mr President Rod Rosenstein’s sister Nancy Messonnier is trying to instill fear chaos with press releases to the public Scott Kimrey Unfortunately it only takes one self actualized individual who gets the chance to skirt quarantine and start infecting what is now a national and global community Odds are in favor of the virus spreading here and again unfortunately the Dems are sit Xem thêm Richard Shallenberg all americans know we at CDC have a handle on what we have been allowed too handle but just like WHO was a weel late on knowing nothing we were already ahead of them and china but the dems don’t care about world health they are a bunch of abortionists’ the more deaths the better they just want there money Rhonda Schneider Thank u Mr president if the dems had it their way we the american people would b suffering greatly they don’t care about us the lower hard working class like me needs someone to help us we can’t continue living with such low wages high price of living n expensive health care Lindy Frady The Dems keep fighting among themselves So much BS going on had to turn it off It s ok the more they talk the more votes we get People are coming to the light side daily They have lost there minds and it keeps getting worse No the lead candidate is a socialist Winning Trump 2020 Claire Fish Yes it is a boo hoo for Democrats because they didnt take the virus seriously They only care about trying to ruin Trump more than the people of this Country Congress voted against closing a part of the border It was the smart thing to do Allicyn Raymond Your the biggest reason I have faith this planet wont capsize into a big ball of fire into space Thank you for never letting the nay sayers break you down The dems and any other politician could learn a thing or two from your administration Thank you for your selfless service You got my vote for the rest of history please save our vaping industry as well please Kristofor Gullickson The Dems are just tryin’ to get the last bit of their investments from just before Obamacare It is likely any Republicans are not in Government anymore or sold their shares long ago Mary Schmidt Kern Steyer wants reparations for slavery for those who never experienced It Wtf the Republican Party was started to end slavery and somehow the dems are twisting it because red voters believe in making your own living and not depending on the government for handouts unless you really need it Uhhhg Carole Tewell what about the man you just appointed who knows absolutely nothing you can really pick them and the wonderful betsy devoss who also know nothing about education were her donations worth childrens education as long as you can fill a spot with one of your wealthy friends it doesnt matter you have to pay them back for their support Jerry Aggson Keep it up Mr President you’re doing a great job There’s only one thing more ignorant than a democrat poo pooing a good thing Someone voting for that democrat Never the less we love the job you are doing and couldn’t be more proud of the man that Xem thêm Eliz Ann Maybe you should reasure the American people that you are working with CDC because as usual the Dems are saying you are doing nothing about the corona virus William M LeBleu It doesn t matter what you do Mr President the media and the Democrats will try to twist it to try to make a negative out of it Just remember Sir when it comes to these clowns that is all they have to offer America a big NEGATIVE They have run Xem thêm Jill Lanpher Those who vote for Bernie Sanders are voting for socialism leading to communism think money grows on trees that student debt should be paid by tax payers support open borders and sanctuary cities free Medicare for all feel nothing is wrong with Xem thêm Curt Green Most of us know your level of commitment and appreciate it Wouldn’t even be surprised at all if the Dems manufactured yet another crisis simply to affect an election Wouldn’t be the first time they sacrificed American lives for their cause Desperate times call for desperate measures Go ahead shoot holes in it if you can but it doesn’t matter because even if it were true it will never be reported Vincent Anthony One sign that the Dems were serious about this is that they would not politicize the situation As it is they have positioned themselves for victory only as American bodies pile up DISGUSTING Kathy Ream Just saw the demo debate None of them would shut up when their time was done Birney wouldn’t shut up even when it was some one else turn It was a mess up there on stage I can’t imagine ANY of them as President They all have a plan but never say what it is Trump2020 Adam Lindley Dems just throw money at something to fix it Still not working Throw more money at it That s their way Trump doesn t give enough money and they throw him under the bus The democrat way Sandra Bates The dems are trying to use this now as a political tool We know you have a handle on this situation Please keep us informed Some of the media are trying to put fear into America Fake News Really Fake News and definitely biased news to say the least They don’t know how to report real news anymore Your administration is doing a great job Deslor Emberga Vanhees Why will American vote for Democratic they all ready show how they are in 3 years nothing they ve done but to Harass their own President it should be nothing but President Trump 2020 GoD Bless America in Jesus name we trust not the Democrat Atlas Holduup Just registered to vote for trump didnt like the iran situation but other then that hes proven himself worthy of presidency and I swore id never vote until a candidate presented himself worthy of my vote Michael Davis Every Demoncrat is a sore loser Most are clueless to the fact that the globalists want to control their very lives by tyrannical rule Trump is our last hope I for one have confidence in you and your Administration Mr President Also I am fed up with the Dems who would not be happy with any thing you do Thank goodness we the people know them well And if anyone out there is not sure just go look at the behavior of Nancy Pelosi and her dressed in white clan s behavior during our President s SOTU address That behavior Is the worst that I have EVER seen from elected leaders I felt terrible discomfort knowing that that behavior was being seen all over the world Just think about that Let that sink in people please God help this country if THOSE people ever make up the majority of our Leaders Carmelo Consiglio Trumps been cutting funding for the CDC since taking office If there’s not an outbreak in the USA it will be a miracle Hell today he’s trying to put a bunch of patients in a condemned building in the OC instead of a FEMA facility Maxx Alexander It’s ok nobody with a decent brain and a clue has missed the media being completely negative and dishonestly so No better President we could ever ask for than you Especially when times are challenging Christine Ward Roe I think the media isn’t helping by blowing this up in the news remember China delayed by 6 weeks and let the virus spread but the US has acted very quickly to contain it especially by Trump imposing travel restrictions and quarantines otherwise we would look like Italy but the dumbard Dems are upset with the his travel ban what the heck Trash Animal Wtf Wine Tasting Friends Vintage T Shirt

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dew-line · 5 years ago

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So, here goes...

I have been asked to comment on Sweden’s handling of the Corona Virus/Covid-19 pandemic and why Sweden has opted to go a different way from the rest of Europe and our immediate neighbors and, frankly, most of the countries in the world that have experienced an outbreak of the virus.

Let me first begin by saying that this is written by someone who is not an epidemiologist, nor in no way even remotely associated with any medical profession. This is my interpretation and shall in no way what so ever be taken at a weight even slightly near the official information of the Swedish government or Folkhälsoinstitutet (the “peoples health institute” is the direct translation) the government organization that is responsible for handling the current crisis. Official information is available HERE (in English).

As I write this (April 11, 7p.m) the current statistics are as follows: Confirmed number of infected in Sweden: 10 151 Confirmed deaths: 887 People currently in intensive care: 774 Source: Folkhälsomyndigheten (updated April 11, 14.02) In case anyone is interested in the total spread of contamination and of deaths over the country I will add a picture at the end of this post. Now, let’s get on to the topic proper.

Early on in the decision was made to fokus on protecting the risk groups in the Swedish society – meaning that protecting the elderly and the sick was the number one focus on the plan to battle the virus. People above the age of 70 were told to self isolate and only go out to get the essentials. Everyone were encouraged to not visit the elderly in order to keep the risk of infecting them as low as possible. At the same time everyone that showed even the slightest symptoms: sniffles, a headache, a sore throat – where told to go into self isolation until they had been free of symptoms for at least two days. We were encouraged to help each other in those situations, friends and family doing some shopping and delivering groceries and essentials, or just doing online shopping. At the same time the government issued a decree that all higher education – meaning High school and university – education that is not mandatory, should be conducted as distance education. However, schools in year 1 to 9 were still to be open as usual (and still are). The reason for keeping the schools open for the younger children is that 1, children are not a primary carrier of the virus and 2, as a mean to make sure that essential functions in society will have staff – primarily the health care sector. If the schools close down then the parents will have to stay at home in order to care for them.

Where Sweden has differed from the rest of the world in the most obvious way is that we have not gone into a full lockdown mode. We are still, if we feel healthy and don’t have any symtoms, encouraged to go out and to meet friends, go to restaurants and the like – one of the reasons is that we need to have a slow, semi controlled spread in society in order to create a herd immunity – the people that are currently moving around are primarily those that are not in the risk groups – they will, if they catch the virus, get a mild infection – or, as in my case, a semi mild infection, but they will not need to visit the hospital or get medical treatment other than which you can get from online consultations. This is important to slow down, but not to stop, the spread of the virus in society at large. If we completely stop the spread the risk is that it will come back again, and at force, as soon as the quarantine is lifted – it is better, according to the Swedish authorities, to allow the infection to spread at a slow pace and create a wider immunity whilst keeping the groups that are at risk of needing intensive care or facing death if infected as safe as possible.

Many companies have started different work from home programs letting their employees do just that, it seems to work well. The company that run the public transport has a campaign out now that states that “if you are not an essential worker, please don’t travel with us right now��. People are complying. We are still out and about, we take walks, we visit friends – sometimes even go out for a beer. But in general it is, as expected, much more sombre. We stay at home – because we do not want to risk to get infected or accidentally spreading it to someone we love or care about – or someone we don’t know.

Other actions that have been taken is that there is a limit on the size of groups of people that can gather. It started out at a 500 person limit, which has now been lowered to 50 people. We are no longer allowed to order alcohol at bars, it is only table service allowed, and the tables must be “well spaced”. Right now the authorities are out and checking that restaurants follow the guidelines. If they don’t they will be forced to close. In general I would say that people do follow the guidelines. We are generally fairly well behaved like that. The Germans of the north, we are. We have trust in the machine – which is the reason why the person that is in the lime light during this trying time is not the King nor the prime minister, but rather a middle level management bureaucrat: Anders Tegnell – the chief Epidemiologist at Folkhälsoinstitutet.

The reason for this trust in the machine depends on many things I’d say. We have historically had a large state with a fairly large control system – the unofficial motto of the Social Democrat party has been “trust in the state, we will make it right”. Another aspect is that we have not really been in a war since 1809 (we don’t count the Norwegian campaign of 1814 because: Norway). We have not needed the consolidating power of a church or a sovereign to help us through trying times, and times of national crisis – as so many countries experienced during the 20th century. Sweden came through the wars unscathed, for good and for bad. And it has made us into a people of secular individualist with a strong belief in a all knowing state. Silly paradoxes we are.

So, now to the important stuff: has this tactic worked. Yes and no, I am sad to say. The goal of keeping the number of cases that need intensive care and hospitalization down as to not over crowd the hospitals have worked. There is still ample room at the intensive care units around the country. The staff are working like madmen and they deserve all the recognition that they get for their hard work. Unfortunately the authorities did not quite count on the virus getting such a grip on the treatment homes for the elderly as it has. There has been a fairly wide spread of the disease in nursing homes across the country, leading to a large number of deaths. Also, the information about the disease in languages other than Swedish were slow to get spread leading to an unusually large representation of hospitalizations and deaths of people with other ethnical backgrounds; especially the Syrian/Assyrian-Swedish population and the Somali-Swedish population have been hard struck – many of the cases being linked to large weddings and funerals that occurred just before the pandemic started. The availability of information has been bettered since then, but naturally that is of very little comfort when loved ones are getting sick and dying.

Another tragedy is that is not limited to Sweden alone is that the people that are most sensitive to this disease are the elderly – and don’t think that I am putting anyone infront of another, but I have to say a particular part of this tragedy is that with our elder our history die – we have seen a large number of holocaust survivors pass the last days and weeks here in Sweden, and I am sure that we are not the only country where this has happened, and with them the voice of a horrible past die forever. We must be aware that this tragedy does not just strike us personally, when a loved one dies – but also as a human collective when the voices of the past slip away from us.

We are in a time now where it is more important than ever to remember.

As promised: a map. The left column is number of infected, the right column is reported deaths. Oh, and I should mention that we do not have mandatory testing for corona virus in Sweden. The decision was taken early on to only test the ones that were in need of hospitalization. So the number of infected are much likely higher.

If you have any questions, please send them to me and I will try to answer them, but please remember: I know nothing, really.

Update: I got a question about the age of the people that have died in Covid-19 in Sweden to date, and I did a quick search and found the following numbers on the official website (in Swedish): 1-9 yo: 0 10-19 yo: 0 20-29 yo: 3 30-39 yo: 2 40-49 yo: 4 50-59 yo: 34 60-69 yo: 64 70-79 yo: 228 80-89 yo: 362 90+: 190

Here is a picture of the live update page linked above with a quick English translation of the key items in case you want to check the page out for yourself.

#the dew line #corona virus #coronavirus #corona #covid #covid-19 #remember #sweden

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macrofar · 5 years ago

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‘NOSEBA’ KORONASI:

Bruce Lipton'dan Önemli Mesaj:

"İnancın Biyolojisi" kitabının yazarı genetik bilimci Bruce Lipton, Corona virüsü için "Öcüden Korkmayın" diyor. "Corona korkusu, virüsün kendisinden daha ölümcül" diyor. Corona virüsünün sıradan soğuk algınlığından daha tehlikeli, daha ölümcül olmadığını anlatıyor. Medyanın (belki de ilaç firmalarının desteğiyle birlikte) insanların sağlığı üzerinde korku kartlarını kullandığını söylüyor. Bunu "Nocebo etkisi" olarak tanımlıyor. Yani plasebonun tam zıttı. Korkuyla, negatif düşünceyle yaratılan olumsuz etki.

An Important Message from Bruce H. Lipton, Ph.D. March 10, 2020

Bruce Lipton'un yaptığı açıklamanın Türkçe ve İngilizce çevirisi aşağıda bulunmaktadır:

Dünya şu anda korkunç korona virüsü korkusuyla kaplıdır. Öncelikle bir gerçeği açıklığa kavuşturalım: bu aralar bir geçirdiyseniz, olasılıklar bunun bir korona virüs enfeksiyonunun sonucu olabilir. Evet, korona virüsü soğuk algınlığına neden olur. Fakat bu soğuk virüsün “ölümcül” olduğu inancıyla programlanıyoruz.

Bu korku tüm dünyadaki konserleri, konferansları ve önemli kamu etkinliklerini kapattı. Korku karantinalara ve uluslararası seyahatlerin kapanmasına yol açtı. Hatta Avustralya'da büyük bir tuvalet kağıdı kıtlığına yol açtı, vatandaşlar bu enfeksiyonla evlerinde mahsur kalma endişesiyle bu metaların raflarını boşalttı.

İlk olarak, virüsün bu sürümü ne kadar ölümcül? Evet, istatistiklerle birlikte enfekte nüfusun ~% 2'sinin öldüğünü gösteren korona bağlantılı ölümler oldu. Vaov! Bu sayı, dünyanın deneyimlediği herhangi bir geleneksel gripten neredeyse% 1 daha fazla ölümdür. Yanıltıcı olan, bu virüsü taşıyan herkesin soğuktan ölebileceği korkusudur. Bu sadece yanlış! Korona virüsün ile hemen hemen tüm kurbanlarının sağlığı, enfekte olmadan önce zaten tehlikeye girmişti. Örneğin, geçen hafta Washington eyaletinde virüsden ölen 6 hasta ile ilgili olarak aşağıdaki bilgiler sağlandı (cesur baskıyı ekledim):

Washington Eyaleti :

Washington'da altı kişi öldü ve sağlık yetkilileri 18 vaka tespit etti. King County'deki vakaların dördü Kirkland'daki Yaşam Bakım hemşireliği tesisiyle bağlantılıydı. Tesiste 50'den fazla sakin ve personel test ediliyor. Sağlık yetkililerine göre Pazartesi günü açıklanan ölümler şunları içeriyordu: 70'li yaşlarında LifeCare'de yaşayan bir erkek. Altta yatan sağlık koşulları vardı ve Pazar günü öldü. 70'li yaşlarında LifeCare'de yaşayan bir kadın. Ayrıca altta yatan sağlık koşulları vardı ve Pazar günü öldü. -80'li yaşlarında EvergreenHealth'de zaten kritik durumda olduğu bildirilen bir kadın Pazar günü öldü. - EvergreenHealth'de ikamet eden bir Snohomish İlçesi de öldü, ancak bu hastanın detayları verilmedi. Daha önce bildirilen iki ölüm, 70'lerinde altta yatan sağlık koşulları olan ve LifeCare'de ikamet eden bir adamı içeriyordu. 29 Şubat'ta EvergreenHealth'de öldü. Diğeri 50'li yaşlarında altta yatan sağlık koşullarına sahip bir adamdı. Ciddi solunum sorunları ile başvurdu ve virüs için pozitif test edildi. Kirkland'daki EvergreenHealth Tıp Merkezinde öldü.

Bu raporda vurgulandığı gibi, korona virüsü ile ölen herkesin sağlığı zaten tehlikeye girmiştir. Sağlıklı insanlar soğuk algınlığı ve grip semptomları alırken, zaten hasta olan ve ölüme yakın olanlar virüs bulaştığında “Azrail” yaşayabilirler. Doğru, hasta insanlar virüse karşı daha savunmasızdır; sağlıklı insanların gerçekten korkacak hiçbir şeyleri yok. İnanç Biyolojisi'nde sunulduğu gibi, stres, kalp hastalığı, kanser ve diyabet dahil olmak üzere hastalıkların% 90'ından sorumludur. Bir kişi stres altındayken, stres hormonlarının (örneğin, kortizol) salınması, vücudun algılanan stresörden, o meşhur “kılıç dişli kaplandan” kaçmak için enerjisini korumak için bağışıklık sistemini kapatır. ‘

Stres hormonları bağışıklık sistemini tehlikeye atmada o kadar etkilidir ki doktorlar, bağışıklık sistemlerinin yabancı implantı reddetmesini önlemek için terapötik olarak organ nakli alıcılarına stres hormonları sağlarlar.’ Sonuç açıktır: Korona virüsü korkusu virüsün kendisinden daha ölümcüldür! Medya (belki de ilaç endüstrisi ile bağlantılı olarak) korku kartını kullanarak insanların sağlığını tehlikeye atıyor! Bu, pozitif düşünme yoluyla ortaya çıkan plasebo etkisinin tam tersi olan negatif düşüncenin (nocebo etkisi) sonucudur! Sağlıklı kalmak, iyi beslenme, egzersiz, vitamin ve takviyeler almak ve daha da önemlisi, stresten kaçınmak (örneğin, virüsün “korkusu”) ile uğraşırsanız, virüs bulaşmış olsanız bile, muhtemelen sadece soğuk ve / veya hafif ateşle sonuçlanır.

Eğer bağışıklık sistemi zayıf olan biriyseniz, kendinizi sevgi dolu aile ve arkadaşlarınız, doğa ve olumlu düşüncelerin yanı sıra sağlığınız ve sağlığınız için alabileceğiniz diğer beslenme ve vitaminlerle kuşatmak destekleyicidir. Sizin için en iyisi hakkında sezgilerinizi takip etmek anahtardır!

Buradaki nokta, kim olursanız olun ve sağlık durumunuz ne olursa olsun, sadece korkudan kurtulmaktan ve kendinizi en iyi hissettiren şekilde yaşamaktan faydalanacaksınız.

Lütfen gezegendeki tüm bilimler için en geçerli olan kuantum fiziğinin gerçeğini hatırlayın: Bilinç yaşam deneyimlerinizi yaratmaktır! Hastalığın… ya da sağlığın farkında mısınız? Hepinize Sağlık, Mutluluk ve Uyum diliyorum.

Sevgi ve Işık ile, Bruce Lipton

The world is currently gripped in fear of the scary coronavirus. Let’s first get one fact clear: If you have ever had a cold or flu in your life, odds are that it was the result of a coronavirus infection. Yes, coronaviruses cause colds.

But, we are being programmed with the belief that this particular cold virus is “deadly.” This fear has shut down concerts, conferences, and major public events all over the world. The fear has led to quarantines and closing down of international travel. It has even led to a major scarcity of toilet paper in Australia, were concerned citizens emptied the shelves of this commodity in anticipation that they will be walled up in their homes with this infection.

First, how deadly is this version of the virus? Yes, there have been corona-related deaths reported with the statistics suggesting that ~2% of the infected population dies. Wow! That number is almost 1% more deaths than are attributed to any conventional flu the world experiences. What is misleading is the fear that everyone who carries this virus may die from their cold. This is simply untrue! The health of almost all the victims of this coronavirus was already compromised before they were infected. For example, the following information was provided by the news in regard to the 6 patients that died of the virus in the state of Washington last week (I added the bold print):

Washington State Six people have died in Washington and health officials have identified 18 cases. Four of the cases in King County were linked to the Life Care nursing facility in Kirkland. More than 50 residents and staff at the facility are being tested. The deaths announced Monday, according to health officials, included: -A male in his 70s, who lived at LifeCare. He had underlying health conditions and died Sunday. -A female resident of LifeCare in her 70s. She also had underlying health conditions and died Sunday. -A woman in her 80s, who was already reported as in critical condition at EvergreenHealth, died Sunday. -A Snohomish County resident at EvergreenHealth also died but details of that patient have not been given. Two previously reported deaths included a man in his 70s who had underlying health conditions and had been a resident of LifeCare. He died at EvergreenHealth on Feb. 29. The other was a man in his 50s with underlying health conditions. He was admitted with serious respiratory issues and tested positive for the virus. He died at EvergreenHealth Medical Center in Kirkland. As emphasized in this report, the health of all those that died with the coronavirus was already compromised. Healthy people get cold and flu symptoms, while those already sick and near death’s door may experience the “Grim Reaper” when infected by the virus. True, sick people are more vulnerable to the virus; healthy people really have nothing to fear.

As presented in The Biology of Belief, stress is responsible for up to 90% of illness, including heart disease, cancer and diabetes. When an individual is in stress, the release of stress hormones (e.g., cortisol) shuts down the immune system to conserve the body’s energy for running away from the perceived stressor, that proverbial “saber-toothed tiger.” Stress hormones are so effective at compromising the immune system, that physicians therapeutically provide recipients of organ transplants with stress hormones to prevent their immune system from rejecting the foreign implant. The conclusion is clear: The fear of the coronavirus is more deadly than the virus itself!

The media (perhaps in conjunction with the pharmaceutical industry) is compromising people’s health using the fear card! This is the result of negative thinking (the nocebo effect) which is the complete opposite of the placebo effect manifest through positive thinking! If you make efforts to stay healthy, with good nutrition, exercise, taking vitamins and supplements, and more importantly, avoiding stress (e.g., the “fear” of the virus), even if you do get infected with the virus, you will likely only end up with a cold and/or slight fever. If you are someone with a compromised immune system, it is supportive to surround yourself with loving family and friends, nature, and positive thoughts as well as any other nutrition and vitamins that you may already be taking for your health and wellbeing. Following your intuition about what is best for you is key! The point here is that no matter who you are and what your state of health, you will only benefit from steering clear of the fear and supporting yourself in whatever way feels best to you.

Please remember the truth of quantum physics, the most valid of all sciences on the planet: Consciousness is creating your life experiences! Are you being conscious of disease … or of health? Wishing you all Health, Happiness and Harmony. With Love and Light, Bruce Lipton

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resonanteye · 4 years ago

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via http://resonanteye.net/originals-will-be-for-sale-nov-15/

Originals will be for sale, Nov 15

Two are spoken for.

All the local galleries are full of artists that they were showing last year, my kickstarter to get full scale prints made did not get funded (really bad timing). I’ll eventually be releasing a small art book containing all of these, I hope. I had wanted to show them as a group but I do not think I’ll be able to do that. so,

here are the originals I’ll be selling. There will be a second post with purchase links on the day, and you’ll be able to message me to purchase as well. Full sized prints will eventually be available but I don’t have a date for that.

Paintings from Quarantine, a series, 2020

all are watercolor paintings. charging by size and scope…

12×16″ are 150$

18×24″ are 500$

22×30″ are 900$

36×50″ are 1500$

shipping to US/CAN included: all will be rolled for shipping, unframed. I’ll ship any country, but will have to calculate for anywhere but US/CAN. rush shipping on request at cost.

no. 1 – Milan (quarantine paintings, 2020) watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″ dedicated for Dr. Marcelo Natali 1963-3/25/20 “We certainly weren’t prepared to face such a situation. Especially those of our generation, that of the post-antibiotic era, who grew up thinking that a pill against the disease was enough.”

no. 2 – Northwestern United States (quarantine paintings, 2020) watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″ dedicated for Dr. Stephen M. Schwartz (January 1, 1942 – March 17, 2020) “There is no way to summarize a person as complex as Steve, but I’ll say this: I have never met a person with a finer mind, a greater passion for ideas, or who had a greater love for science,” Dr. Chuck Murry “This beer virus I call it — they call it a coronavirus, I call it a beer virus — how do you like that?” Rep. Don Young

no. 3 – Iran (quarantine paintings, 2020) watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″ dedicated for Dr. Shirin Rouhani (unknown- 3/19/20) “She treated patients at Masih Daneshvari Hospital in Tehran while receiving IV therapy, because there were not enough doctors. Hospitals are faced with a lack of protective gear including medical gowns, N95 masks, gloves, and disinfectants.” -Javad Tavakoli ” Tell medècin sans frontiers that we do not need hospitals established by foreigners”. -Health Minister, Alireza Vahhabzadeh.

no. 17 (final) – New Orleans, LA, USA⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣ ⁣ dedicated for Ronald Lewis⁣ 7/17/1951-3/20/2020⁣ ⁣ “Right here in the Ninth Ward was where our people chased the American dream.”⁣ ~ Ronald Lewis⁣ ⁣ “The federal government rose to the challenge and this is a great success story and I think that that’s really what needs to be told.”⁣ ~Jared Kutchner

no. 4 – Rikers Island, New York (quarantine paintings, 2020) watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″ dedicated to Michael Tyson, 53 “Incredible anxiety and fear. You cannot implement effective social distancing in a room that sleeps forty men. You cannot implement effective social distancing when those forty men are using two or three sinks and one of them may be broken. You cannot implement effective social distancing when the staff interacts with all of them and has to touch all of them in the course of a day. They know that better than I know that. So when I was talking to them, I was sort of feebly saying, “We want to try to encourage people to be even more diligent about hand-washing, etc., etc.” They were, like, “O.K., we don’t have our own cleaning supplies.” They can’t wipe down their own surfaces. They have to wait for someone to come in and do that for them.” “The largest category of people in city jails are those awaiting trial — people who have not been charged but not convicted. In the ordinary course of events, getting someone in this position out of jail requires an application made in court before a judge.” -Dr. Bedard New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo announced on Monday that the state had found a way to counteract price gouging on hand sanitizer amid the COVID-19 outbreak: by deploying cheap prison labor. Incarcerated people will be producing the disinfectant… “This is a superior product to products now on the market,” Cuomo said in a briefing, adding that the state’s sanitizer has a “very nice floral bouquet” that includes hints of lilac, tulip, and hydrangea.

no. 5 – Los Angeles, Mercy⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣ ⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣ ⁣ dedicated for Francisco Garcia⁣ ⁣ “There’s a very limited supply, it’s a scary situation. Just going to work, driving to work, you’re worried you’re going to get something. It’s changing by the hour and by the day.” S. Beltran, ER nurse . ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ “This week the State Department has facilitated the transportation of nearly 17.8 tons of donated medical supplies to the Chinese people, including masks, gowns, gauze, respirators, and other vital materials.” -Mike Pompeo, Feb 7 2020

⁣no. 6 – Wuhan (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣ ⁣ dedicated for Dr. Li Wenliang (1986-2/7/2020) “I think there should be more than one voice in a healthy society, and I don’t approve of using public power for excessive interference.” -Dr. Li Wenliang “Now, the Democrats are politicising the coronavirus… this is their new hoax.” -Donald Trump “Trump has botched the response to coronavirus pandemic…classifying deliberations makes it harder for health experts in government without security clearances to be in key meetings. This is unprecedented, unnecessary, and damages our ability to respond to the pandemic.” -Gregg Gonsalves, a Yale epidemiologist “You, Dr. Li Wenliang, have been making false comments on the Internet, and will sign a letter of admonishment.” -Police from the Wuhan Public Security Bureau, Jan 3 2020

no. 7 – Madrid (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣ ⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣ ⁣ dedicated for Dr. Isabel Munoz ( 1961 -3/24/2020) “Her only obsession was not to infect anybody.” -Jesus Munoz “Even if we all get sick, I’d rather die than kill the country.” -Glenn Beck

⁣no. 8 – Johannesburg⁣ ⁣⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ dedicated for Simon⁣ (unknown)⁣⁣ ⁣ ⁣ “They put us here and now we are close to one another. This is why we will be vulnerable to catching Corona. Our government has failed us,” Simon, homeless man moved by police to stadium from the street.⁣ ⁣ “The lockdown has caused problems, but it is a necessary thing that South Africa had to do,” -Maider Mavi, Mozambique Health Ministry. “Anyone showing symptoms who goes to a state hospital will have their COVID-19 test for free.” ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ “The goal here is to keep Covid out of this community,” says Sasha Lalla, a leader at COSUP, a city-supported substance abuse program.⁣ ⁣ “I think then we will be seeing a situation where people with compromised immune systems are not just at risk of Covid-19, they are at risk of death. We have a responsibility to keep our most vulnerable safe,” he said. “One case here, it would be like wildfire.”

no. 9 – New York City⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣ dedicated for Father Antonio Checo⁣ May 6, 1952-April 1, 2020 ⁣ “Words cannot describe the sadness and hurt as well as the frustrations that this pandemic has brought about to our daily lives here and across the city…Effective today, all Episcopal churches have been ordered closed until May 17, 2020…we as your clergy are still accessible via phone as your pastors in these times. And since we cannot gather as a community until May, we want to begin to periodically send you the weekly bible readings as that you can use for private prayer worship.⁣ …take an hour each day to pray these prayers remembering those who have died because of this pandemic, as well as those who are sick and those “essential” workers on the frontlines who ensure we as citizens have access to life sustaining resources for day to day living. We ask for the blessing of peace and hope to you all, and that all are safe in this time of uncertainty and anxiety.”⁣ Rev. Antonio Checo and Rev. Jason Moskal, St. Mark’s Episcopal Church⁣ ⁣ ⁣ “We brought in 13 machines that basically kill every virus in the place, and uh, if somebody walks through the door it’s like, it kills everything on them. If they sneeze, it shoots it down at like 100 mph. It’ll neutralize it in split seconds. We have the most sterile building in, I don’t know, all of America.”⁣ -Rodney Howard-Browne, River Tampa Bay Megachurch

no. 10 – Tokyo ⁣⁣⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣ dedicated for Ken Shimura (20 February 1950 – 29 March 2020) “I never feared getting an infection myself,” he said, because he knows “how infection control should be done.” But aboard the Diamond Princess, “I was so scared of getting COVID-19.” “The cruise ship was completely inadequate in terms of the infection control.” -Kentaro Iwata, who has dealt with infectious outbreaks, including Ebola, cholera and SARS, for more than 20 years. “I’m choosing not to do it.” -donald trump, on masks

no. 12 – Washington, DC⁣⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣ ⁣ ⁣ dedicated for ⁣⁣ Rabbi Romi Cohn⁣⁣ Holocaust survivor⁣⁣ March 10, 1929-March 24, 2020⁣ ⁣ “The crisis caused by the coronavirus may be the time to consider a universal basic wage.”⁣⁣ -Pope Francis ⁣ ⁣ “God will shield us from all harm and sickness. We are not afraid. We are called by God to stand against the Antichrist creeping into America’s borders.”⁣⁣ -Tony Spell3

no. 15 – Paris⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣⁣ dedicated for⁣⁣⁣ Dr. John F. Murray⁣ pulmonologist⁣ June 8, 1927 – March 24, 2020⁣ ⁣ “In all his dealings in the ICU, John treated every person with respect and held them to high standards, whether it was the intern just starting in the ICU or the fellow who was a much more senior trainee, or the nurses or the therapists. Everybody had something to offer and was treated as a member of this team.”⁣ -Courtney Broaddus⁣ ⁣ “You have to do what’s best for your business.”⁣ -Wayne Hoffman

“Audience Participation, London” 22×30″, watercolor

Houston has its Time 22×30″, watercolor

Calling in the Forces, Sunflowers 22×30″ watercolor

Skating in New York City watercolor, 22×30″

The Observers (Germany) watercolor on arches, 12×16″

no. 13 – Atlanta⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ dedicated for⁣ Rushia Johnson Stephens⁣ music teacher⁣ 1954-2020⁣ ⁣ “Given our population density, high rate of asthma, and various underlying health conditions found within our city’s populations, I am issuing a Stay at Home Order for Atlantans.”⁣ -Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms⁣ ⁣ ⁣ “adding a public option to Obamacare is the best way to lower costs and cover everyone. 160 million people like their private insurance.”⁣ -Joe Biden

SOLD:

no. 11 – The Bronx⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣ ⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣ ⁣ dedicated for⁣ Rakkhon Kim, a member of Branch 36 in New York City⁣ 1970-March 25,2020⁣ ⁣ “It is not an exaggeration to say that our men and women in the Postal Service, who were already performing one of the most important jobs in America, are now literally putting their own lives on the line to deliver the food, medicine, and essential supplies that hundreds of millions of Americans depend on every single day during this pandemic.”⁣ -Senator Bernard Sanders⁣ ⁣ “It’s been losing billions of dollars a year for many, many years… this is the new one, I’m now the demise of the Postal Service. I’ll tell you who’s the demise of the Postal Service, are these internet companies that give their stuff to the Postal Service…They drop everything in the post office and they say, ‘You deliver it.’ “⁣ -president Donald Trump

no. 14 – Lansing⁣ (quarantine paintings, 2020)⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣⁣ dedicated for⁣⁣ Lisa Ewald⁣ nurse⁣ 1966-2020⁣⁣ ⁣ “COVID-19 has impacted the lives of so many citizens throughout the state of Michigan, and even more pronounced in the city of Detroit, as we are the fastest growing city nationally with casualties related to this deadly disease.”⁣ -Rep. Sherry Gay-Dagnogo⁣ ⁣ “LIBERATE MICHIGAN!”⁣ -Donald Trump⁣ ⁣⁣

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extrovertedarcane · 4 years ago

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Discipline

10 days.

It had been 10 days since I was tested positive for corona virus. I laid quietly in my hospital bed, as I stared at the grey plastered ceiling. The grey paint was coming off. My mind was running through so many thoughts and worries. What happened to my mother? Have my grandparents tested positive for the virus too? Did my building get locked down?

I am sixteen, and I am facing a deadly virus that could take life out of my body. There is no vaccine, no one even feels there is a solution for pandemic. My fever hasn’t left my body for over 15 days now, my breathing has grown heavy. I shifted in my bed. It wasn’t comfortable, but I was still thankful for receiving treatment. The doctors and nurses were trying their best. I gazed around my surroundings. Excluding me, there were eleven other patients. Two of them looked about my grandparents’ age, and fear grew inside my heart. They looked desperate to breathe a little normally. The veins in their arms were visible, and their eyes looked like they were losing hope – they had guessed their time was near the end.

A patient beside me, was a twenty-year-old boy. He was dusky, with unruly dark hair that spiralled in front of his brown eyes. He didn’t seem bothered with everything that went on. I was a little agitated with his ‘don’t care behaviour’, and thought of conversing with him.

“When were you admitted, Dada?” I asked. [Translation: Dada = big brother]

“Around four days ago. You were shifted to this ward yesterday?” He smirked. I merely nodded. “Why do you look so scared? It’s just death”, he further spoke in Bengali.

I wish I could say the same, I thought to myself. “You look like you won’t mind dying” I chuckled.

“Of course not! I have no regrets, Kid. You know, before getting admitted I roamed around Kolkata on my bike. Police couldn’t catch me”

“But... It was declared curfew. We were told to stay indoors and take proper precautions”, I felt irritated.

“You followed the rules set by the government and family?” I nodded in response. “What good did it do to you? You’re stuck here with me!” He started laughing wickedly, while I sat in silence. I had nothing to respond to him. I went back to staring at the ceiling when he spoke again:

“What’s your name, Kid?”

“Sagnik” I replied, softly. “What’s your name?”

“Bijoy”

The next few days passed rather slowly. I was shifted to another ward again, and by the Grace of God, I was speeding recovery now. By the 25th day of me getting admitted into the hospital – the doctors allowed me to go back home. My family was safe and fine, and it turned out that I was the only one infected with the virus. My mother and I thanked the doctors and staff whole hearted, when I felt the need to ask how was Bijoy Da doing.

“He died” the nurse said, quite plainly. “He was so overconfident and proud of being disobedient – yet the last few hours of his life, he was struggling and kept promising to live a disciplined life if only he was granted another chance to live!”

#coronavirus #health #story time #self written

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onlyeverydaysa · 4 years ago

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3. Africa and the novel coronavirus.

Africa enjoyed a short bit of time before the novel coronavirus hit its shores. Here, however; the amount of time that lapsed till the first few reported confirmed cases made the world question whether or not we would be ready to handle a health crisis of this magnitude. Kind of ironic because the entire world including first world countries were and are still not equipped to handle a pandemic of this magnitude as we can clearly see from the numbers and how different areas have shifted to become the epicentre. But I digress.

The first known and confirmed cases in Africa originated from Egypt, and was said to be someone who was not of Egyption nationality who had recently travelled to an area affected by COVID-19 and was reported on the 14th of February, 2020. The last African country to catch COVID19 was Lesotho who recorded their first case on the 13th of May, 2020.

Then on the 5th of March, 2020 the first known and confirmed case was recorded / reported to South Africa. South Africa was ‘the 7th African country to have a citizen test positive for the disease’. The person was said to be a 38 year old male who had travelled to Italy with his wife in a group of 10 people. Here, South Africa was held to be ‘one of 2 countries on the continent with reliable testing capabilities’. But testing capacity has since improved in other countries due to the rapid spread and severity of coronavirus and the need to be able to take care of our people. Here, the rand was said to weaken against the dollar after confirmation of our first corona case.

We watched the novel coronavirus spread rapidly across Africa in quite a short period of time. It almost looked, well, too co-ordinated. Was that just coincidence? I don’t know but again this takes me back to whichever theory you believe in about it’s origins; as that theory might have an answer that suits you. -sips tea- However, one must also take into consideration how much travelling was still allowed during the earlier days of COVID19 and how in general, mild cases have been allowed, in most cases to treat themselves at home - which means the potential for underreporting of real COVID19 cases throughout the world; whilst some non-COVID cases have been misdiagnosed as covid cases potentially inflating numbers in some areas will cause problems for us when analysing what needed to be done, what has been done and what still needs to be done to fight COVID19.

But here is what we do know: every country’s experience of coronavirus is different and as a result everyone has had to respond differently to try address the unique challenges facing their country. The one size fits all approach couldn’t be used to treat this virus, as it has been used to treat other viruses and we are seeing in some instances this difference in approach paying off in some countries whilst going wrong in others which has been both eye opening and scary as the entire world realises that the entire health system has been greatly neglected.

However, despite having been praised for trying to get ahead of the curve by WHO and many others (and also praising WHO for their role in helping to combat COVID19) in our earlier days dealing with coronavirus, our numbers have since drastically shot up (currently sitting at about 23 615 as of the 25th of May, 2020 - Africa Day) and are expected to peak only around August / September/ Also, despite efforts by government to keep people calm and despite efforts by everyone to try and focus on the facts and the science of it all there have been some later decisions that have arguably taken us backward or caused us as citizens to question whose interests are best being served by some of the implementation measures introduced by government to combat / curve / reduce the spread of COVID-19.

But with regards to my experience in South Africa, I would definitely say we tried to do the best we could with the cards that we have been dealt and as critical as I am of politicians, authority and structures I would say that some of the decisions that have been taken have been quite impressive actually, despite potential political, racial and class differences that the country is facing. Also I am very proud of our healthcare sector and how they have managed to actually also encourage us to stay calm by leading by example from our Health Minister, to doctors, nurses, lab techs, scientists, pharmacists, paramedics and other essential staff that work at the health facilities including cleaning staff, security, food suppliers etc. Everyone has just been calm in the public eye. Our response between mid-march up until early April definitely inspired a sense of feeling safe (health wise), albeit not physically; because the army & the police were unleashed on the people causing greater distress.

Some controversial issues raised were in relation to class and how lockdown impacted on the unemployed, underprivileged and working class in a society that is so deeply unequal - actually even known as the most unequal country in the world. Social media has opened the door for all these different debates, with many people openly questioning and criticizing some of the decisions taken by the government. Most notably, the open letters to the president written by Ntsiki Mazwai and Gareth Cliff which caused a stir. For which I will definitely say at the time Ntsiki raised some valid concerns even though her tone was harsh. Gareth’s letter stated nothing new, but then when he was questioned on it, on the popular South African tv show the Big Debate SA he didn’t really articulate himself well and quite frankly was quite rude and unfortunately played into critiques belief that he was clout chasing and seeking relevance (a story for another day). (This all depends on which side of the debate you fall on, I guess).

Meanwhile, round-about mid to late-April (21 April, 2020) Madagascar announced a herbal mix remedy called COVID Organics that is preventative and curative in nature. The remedy is said to contain Artemisia Annua, a plant used in medicines to combat malaria, for which it has been critiqued to say that this plant does not fight malaria in its plant-like state. Here, several African countries had opted to try it by mid-May, including: Liberia, Equitorial Guinea, Guinea Bissau, Tanzania, Central African Republic, the Democratic Republic of Congo, and the Republic of Congo who have all ‘received some bottles’ of COVID Organics. The emergence of this remedy sparked growing debate around the usefulness / effectiveness in herbal and traditional medicine in combating COVID19 here on the African continent even though China has been exploring this option since February. This resulted in WHO cautioning against herbal remedies that are untested but criticism for the centering of Western medicine as the solution has grown. This led to a call to boycott WHO on social media which never really went further and was then resolved when WHO was rumoured to have agreed to look into COVID Organics but concerns were raised around the non-disclosure clause said to be agreed upon between the two (also rumour, as the sources on this are now more scarce). However Madagascar is still a member of WHO and supporting WHO. Madagascar was recently elected (22 May) on their executive board.

Personally, I believe a combination of both forms of medicine must be looked into, because some homemade remedies have proven effective in combating or helping to boost our immune systems against flu and if flu is a virus that logic holds. But on the other hand, noting that respiratory illnesses like pneumonia require antibiotics and other inflammatory and other drugs as well as liquids, rest, and possible oxygen therapy a more impactful drug with organic properties may be what is needed. But again I am not a medical expert so I am merely stating an opinion based on my understanding - its not fact. Anyway, interestingly enough: Madagascar only had 121 cases and no deaths at the time of releasing COVID Organics. Now by the 25th of May, 2020 they had 527 cases (I stand to be corrected). This is still significantly less than most countries especially for a population of 27.6 Million people so they must be doing something right even if it might not be linked to medicine - it could just be that they have disciplined citizens who are taking care of their health by eating healthy and practicing effective social distancing and sanitization.

To date, Africa as a whole continent has had 111 812 confirmed cases of COVID!9, with 3 354 deaths and 45 001 recoveries as of 6am, (25 May, 2020). In blog posts to follow, I will continue to touch on South Africa as my primary example of what is happening (for obvious reasons as you can tell by the name of this blog) and I will then try to give examples of what has been done in other countries.

*Disclaimer (again): images aren't mine. I just use pics from the net from the sources I touch on, for my posts.

*Wrote this piece on Africa Day, but struggled to post it.

*A reminder that the blog posts in the 21 Conversation series are just bits & pieces of the COVID19 experience that I have found worth talking about touching on some facts, some opinion and some theories you may or may not agree with, I have linked some of the sources that speak to these issues in all the posts that range from news to stats and facts to blogs to youtube so take everything with a pinch of salt. But always keep up to date with coronavirus news through reliable sources and keep up to date with your country’s rules, regulation and other legislation through official government sites. I hope lockdown is treating you well if you are in lockdown and if you happen to be reading this and your country isn’t on lockdown let us know how your country is handling it. Stay safe everybody.

M.T.M

Sources:

1. https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2020/02/egypt-confirms-coronavirus-case-africa-200214190840134.html

2. https://www.thesouthafrican.com/news/world-news/first-coronavirus-case-south-africa-who-is-it-where-reported/

3. https://techcentral.co.za/first-case-of-coronavirus-in-south-africa/96364/

4. https://edition.cnn.com/2020/03/05/africa/south-africa-first-coronavirus-case/index.html

5. https://www.cnbcafrica.com/news/2020/03/05/south-africa-confirms-first-case-of-covid-19/

6. https://www.iol.co.za/news/politics/coronavirus-in-sa-who-boss-praises-south-africas-response-to-covid-19-pandemic-45923836

7. https://www.cnbcafrica.com/news/2020/04/09/african-union-reaffirms-support-for-who-amid-covid-19-pandemic/

8. https://www.sabcnews.com/sabcnews/who-again-heaps-praise-on-south-africas-response-to-covid-19/

9. https://mg.co.za/article/2019-11-19-why-sa-is-the-worlds-most-unequal-society/

10. https://www.timeslive.co.za/news/south-africa/2018-04-04-poverty-shows-how-apartheid-legacy-endures-in-south-africa/

11. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-52125713

12. https://businesstech.co.za/news/government/396473/handling-of-the-covid-19-crisis-makes-mkhize-a-stand-out-leader-analysts/

13. https://www.cnbcafrica.com/africa-press-office/2020/05/12/coronavirus-south-africa-employment-and-labour-praised-for-prompt-payment-of-coronavirus-covid-19-temporary-employer-employee-relief-scheme-ters-benefits/

14.https://select.timeslive.co.za/news/2020-03-23-sa-states-response-to-covid-19-gets-a-huge-thumbs-up/

15. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-52619308

16. https://businesstech.co.za/news/government/395685/extending-lockdown-would-not-delay-south-africas-coronavirus-peak-by-much-mkhize/

17. https://citizen.co.za/lifestyle/your-life-entertainment-your-life/entertainment-celebrities/2261937/ntsiki-mazwai-pens-scathing-open-letter-to-ramaphosa-opposes-lockdown/

18. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFPD2zj6DCE&t=6s

19. https://www.garethcliff.com/dear-mr-president/

20. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8iGnW2cSYc

21. https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/madagascar-population/

22. https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-madagascar-idUSKBN22K1HQ

23. https://www.msn.com/en-za/news/other/madagascar-launches-miracle-drink-for-coronavirus-infection/ar-BB12WZoM

24. https://africa.cgtn.com/2020/04/21/madagascar-president-backs-unproven-herbal-treatment-for-coronavirus/

25. https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2020/05/coronavirus-madagascar-herbal-remedy-covid-organics-200505131055598.html

26. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-52374250

27. https://www.aa.com.tr/en/africa/who-to-study-madagascars-drug-to-treat-covid-19-/1840971#

28. https://africacheck.org/fbcheck/no-madagascar-hasnt-quit-world-health-organization/

29. https://www.africanews.com/2020/05/25/coronavirus-in-africa-breakdown-of-infected-virus-free-countries/

30. https://www.webmd.com/lung/understanding-pneumonia-treatment

31. https://www.drugs.com/condition/pneumonia.html

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johannesviii · 5 years ago

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Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 1994

Back in the day, M6 (what used to be the French equivalent of MTV) would broadcast a lot of music videos and my favorite to watch were always the Dance ones.

What I’m trying to say is that you won’t like this list either.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones

There’s so many honorable mentions this time I’m gonna list them all, with some short commentary in some cases:

Another Night - Real McCoy

Mangez-moi - Billy Ze Kick (this is a novelty song about eating shrooms. Obviously I didn’t get that as a kid.)

Nouveau Western - MC Solaar (this guy is going to end up on a list eventually, watch this space.)

Linger - the Cranberries

La Corrida - Francis Cabrel (this is a song about a corrida seen from the perspective of a bull and it’s horribly tragic.)

Think About the Way - Ice MC

Juste Après - Fredericks, Goldman & Jones (this is a song about a guy watching a documentary about a nurse who just saved a baby who was about to die at birth and he’s wondering what she was thinking about afterwards. Only in a Goldman hit song, I guess.)

Loser - Beck (the fact that this song didn’t make the list just because of two Eurodance acts should enrage every single person I ever met who tried to convince me Beck was the best artist of the 90s.)

10 - Saturday Night (Whigfield)

US: Not on the list / FR: #28

Yep. Goldman and Beck were kept off the list by Whigfield and Reel 2 Real.

I have nothing more to say about that.

9 - I Like To Move It (Reel 2 Real)

US: Not on the list / FR: #6

Nowadays I’m pretty sure everyone is thinking about Madagascar and bouncy lemurs first when they hear this song, but holy S H I T did it sound dangerous and menacing back when I was a kid. If Eurodance was full of wizards and magic and epic fights to little me back then, that singer right there was definitely the evil sorcerer of the land and all would recoil before his power.

Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to grow up in a country where you can understand 99% of the songs playing on the radio, and I can’t help but think it might be slightly less interesting.

8 - Streets of Philadelphia (Bruce Springsteen)

US: #54 / FR: #13

If my taste in music was less shitty this would be much higher. Alas, you’re reading the lists of someone who genuinely thinks Haddaway is amazing, so yeah.

Possibly one of the saddest songs ever written but the pleasant and soft music makes it incredibly beautiful, which in turn makes it sound even more tragic and ugh it always makes me want to cry. It’s so perfect. It’s so potent I knew it was a tragic and beautiful song long before I started to learn English and could understand a single word of it. And yet it’s only #8, because the fact it destroys me every time makes it hard to listen to it very often.

EDIT: I was browsing my old top 30s to take pictures for the next top 10s and I was shocked to discover I had actually put that song on one of my lists at the time, so take that as you will.

7 - Always (Erasure)

US: #73 / FR: Not on the list

The fact that this kind of weird new wave still existed AND charted in 1994 is nothing short of a miracle and makes absolutely no sense, but I’m not gonna complain. Not my favorite Erasure single by a mile though (that would be Oh l’Amour. Not surprising at all, I know).

Also I dare you not to laugh at the lyrics, especially the first line ("Open your eyes and see... your eyes are open"). Campy in all the best ways. Do I feel bad for putting it above Streets of Philadelphia? Oh yes. Will I change my mind? Probably not.

6 - 7 Seconds (Youssou N’Dour & Neneh Cherry)

US: Not on the list / FR: #1

#1 on the French year-end list, like, damn. Sometimes quality wins, I guess. But yeah, I remember this song being everywhere, to the point I’m surprised it never really charted in the US. It was overplayed to death by the radio here.

And yet... I never, ever grew tired of hearing it. Never. Not even at the time. It is that good. It’s one of the best hits of the decade if not the best.

Of course I’m gonna put some stupid shit above that song but I beg you to listen to it if, for some extraordinary reason, you’ve never heard it before.

5 - Here Comes The Hotstepper (Ini Kamoze)

US: #85 / FR: Not on the list (#10 the next year though!)

I don’t have anything to say about this song in particular. It’s a lot of fun, and it’s one of the best songs to listen to while walking because you always feel super cool, even if you objectively look like wet garbage. It just gives you an automatic +2 in charisma. That’s just the way it is.

4 - Return to Innocence (Enigma)

US: #33 / FR: Not on the list

I listened to this song on a loop for literal days when I was 15 or so.

It’s not one of the best Enigma tracks and this album isn’t even one of my faves, but listen, I’m a simple human, I see an Enigma song that charted, I put it on my list. That being said, it’s still beautiful and moving and weirdly powerful for such a soft song. And it’s not like I will have any more opportunities to put Enigma on my lists after that, so I’ll gladly take what I can get.

3 - Move On Baby (Cappella)

US: Not on the list / FR: #78

These guys had such strange music videos, full of weird props, costumes and masks, and as you can guess it was fascinating to me at the time. It still is, mostly. It’s great eurodance but with the added bonus of weird, peak new wave-like visuals. In another music video, the guy had a time machine and was wearing a top hat and was meeting Egyptian gods, a medieval princess and possibly himself!

But yeah, even without the visuals, this is a killer beat that stays in your head but never gets annoying. I love it, it’s been on my playlist for years now, and only a king of Eurodance can top this.

You already know who’s coming.

2 - Rock My Heart (Haddaway)

US: Not on the list / FR: #54

This is the song (and the video - may I remind you I was mostly hearing these songs on tv because of the French musical channel) that cemented Haddaway as “one of the coolest, most beautiful people alive and possibly a wizard” to me. Because he had a cane and it was CLEARLY a magic staff to me. Also, in my eyes, all his friends in the video looked like mysterious goddesses and spirits. Because I was six, mostly. But come on, look at them, you can’t blame me.

This is still on my mp3 playlist to this day, by the way, if you were wondering.

Why isn’t it #1 if I love it so much, you ask?

1 - The Rhythm of the Night (Corona)

US: Not on the list (...yet) / FR: #7

All hail the queen of eurodance, who is actually not credited on the single and isn’t even in the music video: Jenny B. These vocals are so. good. It’s repetitive and catchy in all the ways I love, it has an untouchable synth beat, I listened to it hundreds of times and it never gets old. N E V E R. The colors in this melody, holy SHIT

And that music video with the weird cabalistic circles is partly responsible for making me believe eurodance was the music of wizards and magic when I was a kid.

And that’s a wonderful thing.

Next up: A list with a top 3 in which every song is actually possible to defend? Sounds fake but okay

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #flashing lights

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patriciahaefeli · 5 years ago

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A Cautionary Tale? A Love Story? You Decide

It's been one of those rollercoaster weeks, one that began with a great deal of pain, which I tried to ignore at first, so as not to ruin my 17- year old’s already Corona-compromised birthday party. At some point during our 5 p.m. family Zoom celebration, I quietly left the room and went upstairs to lie down, writhe in pain, get back up, bend over, moan, repeat. This continued through the night Monday – and at one point, I remember thinking that labor wasn’t this bad and that I should probably go to the emergency room. In this new world we’re in, that thought was quickly dismissed by one word: COVID. I paced the floor at 3 a.m., alternately moaning and then bopping my head and sort of softly singing what kept running through my head, which was the chorus of The Knack’s 1979 hit song, “My Sharona.” Only my version went “My Corona.” Yes, even while suffering, I’m clever that way.

By Tuesday morning the pain had subsided. I was exhausted however, and slept throughout the day. “Tricia! Drink this! Jesus, she’s burning up.” It was the alarm in my husband’s voice that I responded to more than the command. I sat up, drank the water he was holding out to me, and when I caught my reflection in the mirror over the dresser I had the brief, feverously detached impression of someone who’d sat under a sun lamp for too long. Sun lamp, the words made me almost giggle out loud. Sun-lamp, sun-lamp, sun-lamp…Does anyone even know what that is anymore? A few hours later I had a virtual appointment with my regular GP, during which the decision was made for me to go to the office first thing Wednesday for a full exam. My instructions (my fever-addled brain again added the words “should I choose to accept them” - hehehe), for entering the building would come in the form a text.

My office exam was efficient and thorough. Upon arrival, I called the office and someone met me at a side door. As we were both masked and gloved, we nodded and murmured muffled greetings. Two PAs and an MD palpated my tender abdomen while I stifled screams. They decided that I should have a C-T scan that day, with the expectation that the offending culprit was a kidney stone. As many radiology facilities are currently closed, it took a few hours for them to locate one that would take me. My scan took place at 4:30. I was the last patient of their day.

Fast forward to 6:30 p.m. Wednesday evening. I picked up the call, which was remarkable in itself because anyone who knows me knows how irritating it is that, a) my phone is always on silent mode, and, b) I rarely answer numbers I don’t recognize. It was another doctor from Vanguard, calling to let me know that my C-T scan showed no evidence of kidney stones – “Yay!” BUT, he cut in, it did show acute appendicitis. What I needed to do, he said, was to go directly to the nearest ER.

So here’s where this story really begins, because I was about to get a reality check regarding the difference between the inconveniences of “social distancing” and quite literally, matters of life and death. For those of us who are shuffling around at home in our sweatpants, eating too much, complaining about the buffoonery of our President, laughing at all the funny memes, and who are, to one degree or another, COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS to the fact that health care workers do not have the luxury of ANY of that, here’s the newsflash: The Corona virus has virtually SHUT down normal operations for hospitals and surgical facilities, so if you’re also laughing in the face of social-distancing guidelines, and just can’t wrap your head around the possibility of contracting this deadly disease, know this too: If you break your arm, or your spouse has a heart attack, or your child’s strange rash won’t go away and you’re just really concerned, good luck. We are NOT in Kansas anymore, peeps.

I considered doing a bit of a negative a rant on the first hospital that I went to here, but perhaps that wouldn’t be fair. “The nearest ER” for me would have been another hospital, but due to their somewhat dubious reputation, we opted to go just a bit farther away. The best thing I can say about that experience was that the safety protocols to enter the ER were impressive. Picture the scene in E.T. where the Hazmat-suited guys from the space program find out about him and “invade” the house in a tunnel of white - then picture the people standing six feet apart outside of say, ShopRite, only these people don’t look so great. They’re kind of bent over, or swaying, or leaning on someone else. Then count your blessings that your gut hurts and you’re not bleeding out…or struggling to breathe.

Three hours later, after they’d reviewed my scans and completed all of the necessary pre-op tests (blood work, EKG, urine analysis), I got the word that most of the ORs were being used as ICUs for COVID patients, and they were only doing “emergent” surgeries. They sent me home with massive doses of antibiotics, and a referral to see their staff general surgeon - outpatient.

I figured they were right, too. Must not be very serious. I was doing well with that notion until the following morning, when I heard the barely concealed shock in the voice of my regular MD.

“Did they see your scans?” his tone serving only to increase my anxiety.

“Yeah. But my appendix hasn’t exploded yet.” I said.

“Ah,” he sighed, “I know things are being handled differently in the ‘current environment,’ but last time I checked, acute appendicitis was emergent.”

Okay, pay attention now, because here’s where it gets really interesting: See if you can answer his parting questions:

“Do you have a general surgeon? Preferably one with their own facility?”

So, do you? And if you do, are you sure they’re even open right now? I sure as hell didn’t (and the name they gave me at the hospital turned out to be for a doctor whose answering machine told me he was not seeing new patients). And the idea that it was now pretty much my problem to solve was a little intimidating – especially for someone who generally needs to be told that they’re sick (enough) or in (enough) pain to seek help—but that’s another story. Now that doctor, who I respect and like a lot, said he’d be trying to find me one, but that I should do my research as well.

My husband and I made a fairly long list of people/places to call, and split it. Those we were able to reach at all offered possible solutions to my dilemma, but each dead-ended pretty quickly. I focused on the task now, trying to ignore what it might mean that the ache in my belly seemed to be spreading down my right leg.

As of this writing, I have yet to hear back from my regular GP and yet, here I sit, post-op, able to get this down mostly because of a Facebook message I sent to one of the nurses in the Belleville Public School district. The only real help I got came from her, a nurse, who responded immediately to an “in-boxed” message, and kept responding for the next hour, sending me the names and phone numbers of doctors (sometimes with their credentials!), links to possible facilities, and words of encouragement. She gave me her personal cell phone number and encouraged me to call it if I had questions and/or to let her know how it was going. I felt like she meant it, too. I also think she was responsible for the first in a series of serendipitous events that just may have saved my life. One of the names she gave me turned out to be the dad of one of my kid’s friends.

At that point, things happened pretty quickly. I called him (at home) and told him my situation. In a matter of 20 minutes, he had my scans and had booked a time slot for me for same-day surgery at Clara Maass. He’s a high-energy, outgoing kind of guy, and although I’d stood on sidelines with him and his lovely wife at many a sports event, I don’t know him well enough, nor did I think it was appropriate to laugh out loud when he laid out the plan: “With everything going on, I just really want to do you – and get you the hell out of there!”

So here I am, more grateful to him than I can possibly express and having some time to consider just how random and crazy and dangerous that whole situation was (turns out, my appendix had begun to perforate after all, and the real fun was just beginning) and how fortunate I am.

But the real heroes here - Oh, and God, aren’t we all a little sick of the “hero” thing? – well get over it, and listen up! From the minute I walked through the door of Clara Maass yesterday, my experience was the best it could possibly have been. The nurses! OMG the nurses - I was in pre-op for hours. Lucky as I was to have been squeezed in to an already crowded surgical schedule, the truth of the matter was that my presence had required a quick shifting of resources—stretchers and space and - nurses. My sudden appearance in the queue was inconvenient, possibly even annoying. And yet all of them, including the nurse who ran the OR, came by to check on me, to give me extra blankets, to chat with me, and laugh with me. A friend’s daughter-in-law, who is a nurse there, got a text from him and even she came from three floors below just to say hello and charm me with her Australian accent and tired-but-twinkling blue eyes. I swear, for me? The whole experience was a cross between a weirdly sterile spa stay, and – as mine all happened to be women - a girls’ sleepover with your best girlfriends—only these were women I'd just met (but they’d also pretty much seen me naked, so, there’s that…).

Most of them were nearing the end of a 12-hour shift. As I lay there, relaxed and warm, reading and texting, they race-walked back and forth among those of us who waited, or were recovering. I lost count of how many times one of them asked me if I was okay, or if I needed something. They ate their dinners on the move, taking bites and then sprinting off, tearing off one set of gloves, putting on another. These people Do. Not. Sit. The sink was right near my bed, so I saw a lot of hand-washing traffic too, and a lot of red, chapped, over-sanitized hands. They spoke in soothing voices to those who were waiting, and possibly scared, and loud-enough voices for those emerging from the cloud of anesthesia to understand. Sometimes they shouted good-natured complaints to one another, or teased one another – and me, as when one started repacking those bags they give you for your clothes, amusement in her voice as she yelled, “What the hell did you do here, shove it all in like a little kid? Your purse is open – Maria, come over here and see this – she’s a mess!” Hahahaha! One came by and pointed to the cover of the book I was reading entitled “The Silent Patient”, and joked “That’s the kind we like!”

I even began to wonder if what I was getting was “special treatment” reserved for those whose surgeries were personally called-in by the surgeon. Once he arrived, however, it was clear that not only did they not know he was the one who got me in, but they chided him in the same affectionate way. At a point, I said to one of them, “Doctors think they’re all that, but nurses really run the show don’t they?” She winked at me and elbowed me a little, “Like husbands, honey – they just think they’re in charge!”

I lounged, for over four hours while they stood on what had to be tired feet, hands on hips as they talked to me, telling me which part of the hospital they’d spent the morning in, or where they were headed next in this crazy, all-hands-on-deck environment. We chatted about jobs and kids, and only when the topic of this deadly disease came up did the lack of words become conspicuous. Then it was all a mime of sad shakes of the head and downward glances.

It occurs to me today that after all of this, I'm not sure I would recognize any of them tomorrow if I saw them on street – nor they me. Of course, we were all masked. But maybe I would – if I could see their eyes again. And I'm not exaggerating when I say that most of all, those eyes conveyed a profound kindness. And laughter, and concern, and compassion, and dedication—and a toughness that allows them to do it all.

I'll tell you a secret: I am a person who often has a weird response to unexpected kindness - it makes me cry. I welled up more than once yesterday afternoon. I may have been just one of many for them – this is just what they do - but for me, a bond was made. I will always remember them.

Make no mistake: it’s no hardship to be home in your sweatpants with your gel manicure looking a little ratchet, and your spouse and kids seeming more like houseguests who have overstayed their welcome. Today, I want you to feel really, really blessed and grateful, and if you’re like me, a generally healthy person who never really gave too much thought to the job that these people do, I hope I was able to convey just a little of it.

That school nurse who rescued me put it this way: “I took an oath when I graduated just as physicians do. I have followed it for 28 years and it has never let me or my patients down.” That whole oath thing is good and important and all, but the heart behind it gives it grace.

So, if you get an invitation to do one of those car processions where you beep your horn and cheer for the local health care workers as they go in to, or leave, work– get in your car and go. Or, just mail them each a check for a million dollars. Either way.

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