#corn daddy

[ravenbunnie]

For all my book girlies that are trying to hit a reading goal and feel like they are a little behind on their numbers.......I found a way to boost them.

[want2fucku-blog]

[kojintekily]

✨Let's Jive, Daddio✨

[raindingrandom]

Crazy Frog Trivia #13

A reoccuring Character Tic for Crazy Frog is for him to scratch the side of his bottom or leg.

This was likely based off of the original The Annoying Thing animation, where he scratched his bottom before jumping into his motorbike riding pose.

[the-writer-nerd-ro]

Third beautiful commission piece by @maxwellamus (click to see Dad and Owl), so the gang is almost all here! They're all part of my single parents/parent trap AU, there may or may not be an entirely separate AU don't worry about it the important thing is that people commission Maxwellamus :D

This specific piece is of the only canon child from the season 2 time skip, Jerry Li Wilson! Since he has no description outside of mascot/soccer kid we just had fun with it. It was Maxwellamus' idea to add the Teeny head and my idea to add beloved animal companion Caramel Corn the goldendoodle

Message me if you want to hear about my headcanons/characterization of Jerry or anything about the single parents au. One day I will actually post a fic lol

[germ-t-ripper]

23MAR24 An absolute honor to meet actor John Franklin. John is best known for his portrayal of "Isaac" in CHILDREN OF THE CORN (1984).

[krc-draws]

Insert something witty here or whatever

[whyiliketitantvman]

✨MORE AMAZING DOGON ART✨ ig Also ✨NEW SMILING CRITTERS OC✨ Meet ✨🎶🌈rainbow songbunny🎶🌈✨ she most famous singer in all of the smiling critters land she has performed in many concerts and in the annual rainbow prism Moon festival! She's also known to be to act ✨fabulous! ✨ Edit: don't ask why I made Queen bouncelia EXTRA THICC also wanted to draw daddy long legs and catnap as humans oh and also. GOTHIC CRAFTYCORN!?

[blujayonthewing]

justin and I were talking about what each of our blorbos would give out on halloween and unfortunately nyssa is the Absolute Trash Candy guy unless someone intervenes because she genuinely likes those ones

[lunearobservatory]

Indiana cars special interest. than k you

[want2fucku-blog]

[nuknoe]

Doing It Right

It's a LOT but it's definitely a blessing in it's own right. Comic: @Bevinodi #TheDaddyDiary

Cause only lord knows what I’m doing currently! I am not too sure what I need to become a “Good Parent”. I’m sure I’m doing a “good job”, but in all honesty, I am not sure if doing a good job is enough. Making sure I do as much as possible within ALL of my power is a monumental everyday task! I could be over here treating my children like wild animals…just letting them do whatever! Pitbulls high…

[metalgearemily]

people who write edgeworth/phoenix fanfics where edgeworth perfectly integrates into trucy phoenix dad daughter dynamic are stupid. you guys have never had single parents, the people ur parents date are like just guys you hang out with some times please understand this. too this day my step dad is a guy i hang out with. Miles edgeworth is a guy trucy hangs out with some times because her dad dates him. if they got married, it would still be that.

[spiders-and-whores]

Pedicide

I'm going to leave soon

Soon

And he won't believe that I will

Maybe he's right and I can't hack it

I'll be instantly killed

At least I won't die here

And if he wants to follow me, well I can't stop him

But he'll have to get off the fucking couch to do it

I want to feel all that is beautiful and warm and hard and sexual

I'm not afraid of the pain

When I was a pupae small, black beads began to emerge throughout my soft body

The beginnings of an exoskeleton

And you trimmed it off, every year, you'd cut, slice and tear so the shavings fell to the floor to be swept up

And so now I'm not rigid enough for the world

I'm going to live inside it anyway

[lokate]

Vegetables - Daddy's Fried Corn and Onions Recipe Combining my two favorites, fried onions and fresh corn, my husband came up with this very simple, delicious side dish.

[bi-writes]

thinking about mob baking simon a cake for his birthday (without his prior knowledge) mm good soup

mail-order bride

"you think he likes chocolate, baby?" you ask the cats. they sit side-by-side at the breakfast counter, being good girls as they sit on their chairs and watch you mix batter. "he totally likes chocolate. big boys like daddy love chocolate, don't they, girls?"

you grease two circular pans, pouring the chocolate cake batter into them. you set them in the oven before getting to work on your chocolate buttercream. you're using the new mixer simon bought you--it's beautiful, stainless steel, heavy. when you saw in the store a few weeks ago, you gushed at it, telling simon you saw someone make cinnamon rolls, bread, cakes, all in this mixer, but when your eyes skimmed over the price, you said nothing more, just smiled up at simon and let him lead you over to where the cast iron pans were (you wanted a real one).

a few weeks later, you noticed it on the kitchen counter. sparkling silver, right there, with the whisk attachment on it just waiting for you. and in the cupboard, ingredients--bread flour, powdered sugar, cornmeal, corn starch, dutch process, baking chocolate, whole wheat flour--all for you to play with. and when you baked him the most decadent triple chocolate coffee cake he had ever had, he bent you over the same table his empty plate sat and ate your cunt out with your apron still on. when you kissed him afterwards, he still tasted like chocolate.

you turn off the mixer, reaching in with a spoon to lick the buttercream off of it. you hum with delight, setting it aside, and when the oven timer dings, you pull the cakes out to let them cool.

you wrap simon's present as everything settles. special order, a favor you called into johnny. it's in a nice wooden box, and you tie a big red bow on it, and when you go back into the kitchen, you level and stack the two pieces of cake between buttercream and use a spoon to make a fancy decoration over the top of it.

the front door sounds as you're putting the finishing touches on the cake. you can hear him coming closer, and you gasp.

"no, no, no, don't come in the kitchen yet!"

"wot?"

"just--wait a little bit in the living room, okay?"

"for wot?"

"simon--" you groan. "please? for me?"

you don't hear anything after that except for the tv turning on. when you finish putting the last candles on the cake, you light them, picking up the plate and coming into the living room.

simon looks surprised. he was concentrating hard on the tv, watching the game, but his face relaxes when he sees you holding the cake. the cats perk up from where they're laid down beside him, and their ears flit as you start to sing happy birthday.

his whole face twitches. he stiffens, his palms flat on his thighs as he grips them tight. you set down the cake on the coffee table in front of him, candles glowing as you take a seat next to him. he's still staring at the cake as you finish the song.

"happy birthday, dear simon...happy birthday to you."

you smile at him, wrapping a hand around his bicep, squeezing it gently. you kiss his shoulder before motioning to the cake.

"you can blow them out now, simon," you say softly. "make a wish."

he doesn't move. he stares straight ahead, his eyes fixated on the flickering candles. you reach down and take his hand in yours, intertwining your fingers and hugging his arm. you sit with him quietly, looking at the cake with him, and after a minute or so, you turn back at him.

"simon?" you whisper.

he's crying. you put a hand on the back of his head, scratching his short hair, and you cup his face gently as you wipe his tears. he's silent. the tears come, but he still doesn't move, still won't meet your eyes. you smile, going over to pick up the cake, and you hold it in front of him.

"here...make a wish, simon," you say softly. he picks up his sleeve and wipes his face, leaning over to blow out the candles. you put down the cake, standing up to go get his gift sitting on the kitchen table. when you sit down next to him again, he's still staring at the cake, still trying to pretend his face isn't wet with tears, but he stops wiping them when you place the box in his lap.

he unravels the bow. when he opens the case, he lets out a little chuckle, smoothing his hand over the foam inside.

there are an array of throwing knives laid before him. perfectly crafted, in different shapes and sizes, and when he picks one up and twirls it around between his fingers, the weight of them and the ease at which they move tells him you only picked out the finest quality. they're beautiful, and it's a thoughtful gift, and when he closes the lid on the box, he still can't meet your eyes.

"i'll cut us some cake," you say softly. you busy yourself getting plates and a cake knife from the kitchen, cutting generous slices before handing him one of the plates. he picks up the fork, and when you notice his hand shakes, you take the plate back from him gently and scoop a bite onto the fork for him. you don't say anything, just hold it up to his mouth, and once he takes a bite, you set the plate down and watch as he chews.

when he swallows, you sit again in silence. you reach over and take simon's hands in your own, squeezing them gently before bringing them up to your mouth to kiss softly. when he finally looks at you, all you do is smile.

he hadn't even remembered it was birthday. he never told you when it was, but he supposes you must have been curious enough to look for yourself. he can't remember the last time someone made him cake. he can't remember when he last received a gift, especially one like this. he doesn't know when he last thought himself happy enough to celebrate anything at all, but there is no other way he would've wanted today to go.

joy. you bring uninhibited, unfiltered, all-consuming joy. the way you're smiling at him--he can already see you in the kitchen in that apron, baking this cake, talking to no one but the cats as you carefully decorate it. the way you're looking at him--he knows you dreamed about this all week, scheduling the day so you could have the cake done as soon as he got home.

and chocolate. his favorite. decadent, sweet chocolate--it's still under his tongue, and he wants another bite already, he cannot wait to devour the slice that waits for him on the table.

"happy birthday, simon," you whisper, and when you lean in to hug him, he cradles the back of your head, tangling a hand into your hair as he presses you to his chest. "i love you."

fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck--

"love you, too, baby."

"what did you wish for?" you mumble into his shoulder. simon snorts a little, shaking his head.

"if i tell ya, it won't come true."

"oh, yeah," you giggle. "keep your secrets then."

he doesn't want more; the only thing he wishes for is more time. more time with you. as much as he can get. to live long enough that he gets to see your face for as long as possible.

that whatever he sees for the last time will be you and you only.