#Crazy Frog in the House

[raindingrandom]

Crazy Frog Trivia #13

A reoccuring Character Tic for Crazy Frog is for him to scratch the side of his bottom or leg.

This was likely based off of the original The Annoying Thing animation, where he scratched his bottom before jumping into his motorbike riding pose.

[bluewinnerangel]

top 9 albums you listened to this year? totally random question 🤪

Unlike last year I did listen to a lot of new music this year so 2022 albums this time weee it was even hard to pick a top 9 but in order of release (probably):

Nilüfer Yanya - PAINLESS

ROSALÍA - MOTOMAMI

Kendrick Lamar - Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers

Harry Styles - Harry's House

Steve Lacy - Gemini Rights

Joost - Fryslân

The Snuts - Burn The Empire

Louis Tomlinson - Faith In The Future

Little Simz - NO THANK YOU

ramble in the tags

[tariah23]

Being called a fake Gojo fan by a stranger because I called him ugly is my 9/11 😭

[soapdispensersalesman]

The original lofi hip hop before bed

[ledatoons13]

Amphibia ending so bold, it's still talked about even though it was another show's chance to shine

[senorboombastic]

a/s/l: Dog Race

Remember the days of the old schoolyard? Remember when Myspace was a thing? Remember those time-wasting, laborious quizzes that everyone used to love so much? Birthday Cake For Breakfast is bringing them back!  Every couple of weeks, an unsuspecting band will be subject to the same old questions about dead bodies, Hitler, crying and crushes.   This Week: Off the back of releasing their…

[littleragondin]

sunshine, soup, crazy frog and why AND gay

Coolness comes to me from Maine Winters ❄️☃️ (i'll squish you back too!! 💜💜💜)

[guifrogarts]

[VOD] VR Travelogue #27: Fancy House With Deceivingly Normal-Looking Objects

I'm just going to eat these potato chips here and... BWHAT?!

When XR_XharpRazor created "Dimension Structure - R07 - Kontainer", they seemed to have had copious amounts of fun!

Scott Buckley's CC-BY songs used in this video are available in this playlist (go check him out!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EeWSPv5dBI&list=PL4EJWCM_RXBEvhRSq7MSdK63LKSZ3JV5j

[libidinous-weeb]

same with male writers who write all their female characters as the exact same girl with long hair and pale delicate skin whose sole purpose is to ensure the male characters can live happily ever after while making all of the male characters have diverse and interesting storylines that have major effects to the plot with paragraphs of descriptions about what they look like and how they think. btw.

male artists who draw every woman/slightly femme looking person with the same yassified disney elsa face while having the decency to draw men in different and interesting ways are not seeing the light of heaven. btw

[muppetebbtide]

discworld dashboard simulator

❓ ankhmorporkpolls

🧙🏻 blackalisstan

This is like that tsortian guy who had to pick between goddesses and started a war and then died. Or like paying the assassin's guild to kill you

🔪 treefroghousealumni follow

*inhume

🧙🏻 blackalisstan

piss off you posh knob

🍴 priestessofanoia

tbf I don't think the watch is wasting its time on this blue hellsite so ur probably safe there. the POSTMASTER however...

#sometimes I think only bloody stupid johnson could have come up with this fucking site

10,435 notes

🪻watchofficial follow

ALL'S WELL!

🍴 priestessofanoia

nvm lmao 😭

47 notes

☕ klatchmeifyoucan follow

.

#ppl on here are actually sooooo ankh morpork centric it's insane #'EVERYONE knows webblethorpe the unconscious' who??? why the fuck should I??? #like HELLO there's other places on the disc? #and klatch is NICER like omg

4 notes

unseenuniconfessions reblogged:

🦧 unseenuniversitylibrary

Ook

#SO TRUE KING

100,034 notes

Anonymous asked:

Is lord vetinari gay

🪄ramtopswitches answered:

Why would you ask us, a ramtops witches blog, this

50,432 notes

🔮 uucompetitiveeatingchamp follow

CALLOUT: @ /spanglersal (deactivated)

• started a Kickstarter to crowdfund a click of Captain Vimes & Errol then disappeared with the money and has gone completely ghost on everyone

• apparently stole over 100k

• cringe

Read More

2000 notes

Anonymous asked:

Blessings be upon this askbox

🌷queen-of-lancre answered:

I don't know if this is nanny pretending to be granny, or if it's actually granny, and I think I'm too scared to find out

435 notes

cmot-dibbler-enterprises sponsored

SAUSAGES INNA BUN ‼️‼️‼️‼️🌭🌭🌭🌭

🏚️ throwingshades

Gonna go skating on the frozen river ankh!!

💀 nojusticejustus

HAVE FUN

🏚️ throwingshades

Thanks man!

34 notes

✉️ ampostofficeofficial follow

🐸 bursaaaaaaaaar

is. is the post office posting crab rave bc reacher gilt just turned up dead

7013 notes

🧳 agateantravels follow

The Crumley's Hogswatch grotto is being advertised again but somehow I just don't think they can top last year's... like idk where they got the budget from but the real pigs?? CRAZY. my little sister asked for a pony and there was just one in the house when we got back like?? My mum was PISSED but yes talk abt Hogswatch magic. Still wonder how they pulled it off

345 notes

💖 angelofmusic

It's literally SO unfunny to be making jokes about the Opera Ghost when you all KNOW I saw so many of my friends DIE last year??? I literally have so much PTSD from it... like it's so insensitive you're all actually the WORST

#vent #don't rb #some of you will say ANYTHING for a cheap laugh :(

5 notes

🐊 genuablogging

My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “narrative causality” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw the Duc turn into a frog

My buddy Mrs Pleasant, pacing: Lilith de Tempscire is lying to us

456 notes

[why4anne]

Juno

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Reader

Category: Social Media au

Summary: Pop star Y/N L/N cannot behave herself on social media. But who can blame her when her boyfriend looks like that?

Face claim: Sabrina Carpenter

Masterlist

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, taylorswift and others

yourusername: Just a little something I wrote recently🤭

Juno out tonight 8pm EST

view comments:

user1: Girlie is finally releasing music again?? Album when???

user2: Pop is back!

user3: you'll find me SCREAMING

user4: Juno?? Like the goddess of love and marriage..?

- user5: Wait! You're onto something!!!!

- user6: y'all what if she means the movie

- user7: what movie?

- user6: Dang, you're making me feel old

taylorswift: They're not ready for it

- user8: TAYLOR????? HELLOOOO??

- user9: REP TV REFERENCE!!!

- user10: easter egg??!!!

- user 11: girl that's a whole easter basket

joeyb_9: nice dress

- user12: excuse me? sir?

- user13: I just know they're up to something

lahjay10_: Joe has not stopped smiling all morning practice

- user14: It's about him then???

- user15: He's giggling and kicking his feet I just know it

user16: Joe can you fight??

- joeyb_9: yes I can

- user16: oop- I was not expecting that

- user17: he gagged you fr

user18: I don't know if I wanna be her, or be with her

- user19: the struggle is real

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, zendaya and others

yourusername: oops... wrong pic🤭 Juno out now btw

view comments:

user1: you're this thirsty on main????!!!!

user2: girl calm down

user3: NOW THATS WHAT I CALL AN OVULATION SONG

user4: I'm actually speechless after listening to this...

- user5: No becuase WHAT DO YOU MEAN MARK YOUR TERRITORY???!!

user5: hold me and explore me??? GIRL!

user6: SOMEONE NEEDS TO CONTROL MY GIRL Y/N

- user7: we need to spay her frfr

user8: tf you mean freaky positions???

user9: I mean, have you seen her man??? I don't blame her

- user10: The only pop-girlie with a hot boyfriend I fear

- user11: Louis Partridge exists yk

user12: I was gonna say you swan🦢 he frog🐸 but I fear can't

user13: how are you able to look your parents in the eyes after this girl???

user14: She and Joe be freaky like that ig

joeyb_9: I feel honored

- user15: YOU GUYS ARE INSANE!!

- user16: did not expect this when I woke up this morning

- user17: Joe, are you well???

user18: I always knew they were freaky

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, milliebobbybrown and others

yourusername: One of me is cute, but two though?

Surprise! Double whammy you guys 34+35 out now!

view comments:

user1: SHE'S INSANE!

user2: nah what do you mean 34+35??? you freakyyyyy!!!

user3: tf you mean "got the neighbors yelling earthquake"????

user4: What kind of freak-juice do they put in the water in Cincinnati?

user5: Let me breath, damn. I haven't even recovered from Juno yet

joeyb_9: I can make sure that there is two of you by this time next year

- yourusername: I just might let you🤭

- lahjay10_: BRING BACK SHAME!!!!

- jjettas2: NORMALIZE BULLYING!!!

- user6: Ja'marr?? Justin?? hello???

- user7: I stand with Justin and Ja'marr because writing this on main is CRAZY

- user8: WE NEED TO PUT BOTH JOE AND Y/N IN HORNY JAIL!

user9: That's enough screen time for you missy

user10: THESE LYRICS ARE CRAZYYYY

- user11: They're not even trying to be subtle

user12: Didn't Joe say in one interview that he goes to bed by like 8pm. Tf you mean "we started at midnight, go 'til the sunrise"??

- user13: One of them is lying and I think it's the blonde one

- user14: both of them are blonde

- user13: @/youmissedthejoke

user15: yall are acting like this is sum crazy shit but if I had a boyfriend who looked like that I would be acting WAYYYY worse

- user16: FR! Like if I looked like Y/N and my bf looked like Joe, you would not be catching us leaving the house

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, alix_earle and others

yourusername: Have you ever tried this one?

view comments:

user1: Ma'am there are kids on this app

joeyb_9: yeah we did it last night, remember?

- yourusername: no, can you remind me😇

- lahjay10_: EW EW EW EW EW

- lahjay10_: THAT'S ENOUGH!

- lahjay10_: I NEED BLEACH FOR MY EYES

- lahjay10_: I'M TELLING MANAGEMENT!!

- lahjay10_: THIS IS AN HR ISSUE

- user2: is Ja'marr okay?

- user3: He's crashing out

- user4: bro is tweaking

user5: we can try it out if you want to🤭

- joeyb_9: She's busy

- user6: we need lock him up or something

- yourusername: would handcuffs suffice?

- user7: EXCUSE ME!!???

- user8: Girl this is a public comment section!

- user9: Saying that on Beyonce's internet is CRAZY

user10: looked at myself and sighed

user11: girl, who is in charge of your social media??

user12: we need to lobotomize her or something

lahjay10_:

liked by teehiggins, andreiiosivas and others

lahjay10_: The trenches look a little different when you in the inside of the Spectre.

view comments:

user1: #unblocky/n

user2: #unblocky/n

user3: #unblocky/n

user4: #unblocky/n

joeyb_9: #unblocky/n

- user5: help- not Joe joining us

- user6: y/n is this you?

- joeyb_9: Nope, this is actually Joe

- user7: I can't with this man😭

lahjay10_: aight what the hell is going on?

- user8: #unblocky/n

- user9: #unblocky/n

yourusername: I'VE BEEN UNBLOCKED!!🥳

- user10: welcome back queen

- lahjay10_: hope you happy now

- yourusername: the happiest😁

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, andreiiosivas and others

yourusername: AAAAAAAHHHH! JOE BURROW PLEASE PUSH ME UP A WALL AND THROW ME ACROSS THE ROOM! I wanna climb this man like a tree. I wanna gnaw on his biceps like a beaver and I wanna scratch his back like a goddamn feral cat!

view comments:

user1: is she okay?

user2: I can just tell that she's ovulating

user3: well you can actually do that if you want to #wearenotthesame

user4: on main is CRAZY

user5: I didn't realize this was Y/N's account, deadass thought it was a horny fan-account💀

joeyb_9: That can be arranged

- user6: He's so nonchalant with it😭

- user7: I know I should be used to this by now but at the same time his comments never fails to flabbergast me

- user8: Remember when we used to have shame?

- jjettas2: pause.

user9: Yall are calling her crazy but she's so real for this

user10: I can't with this girl💀

andreiiosivas: are you okay?

- user11: Help not Andrei lowkey being concerned😭

- user12: She just ovulating, don't worry

[This post has been deleted]

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, lahjay10_ and others

yourusername: Juno is now number one on the Billboard hot 100! Thank you so much to everyone who streamed🩵

view comments:

user1: this caption does not sound like my girl Y/N

user2: where is crazy Y/N?

user3: did you get your social media hacked or sum?

user4: I think her team took her social media away😭

- user5: yeah cuz her last (extremely unhinged) post was deleted too

- user6: Noooooo! I lived for Y/N's posts

- user7: me too girl😔

user8: I'll miss you diva💜

user9: #wewanty/n

- user10: #wewanty/n

- user11: #wewanty/n

- user12: #wewanty/n

user13: congratulations, but please give my girl back her account

user14: The biggest sign that this isn't Y/N is that Joe didn't comment

- user15: fr! he always comments on her posts

- user16: he's silent protesting💀

lahjay10_: I can finally scroll on instagram without getting a jumpscare🙏 I used to pray for times like this!

- user17: Ja'Marr😭

- user18: Bro rejoicing💀

joeyb_9:

liked by lahjay10_, sam_hubbard_ and others

joeyb_9: Since someone got her social media privileges taken away, I had to be the one to post this photo of her because she said: "I look cute in this photo, the world deserves to witness it"

view comments:

user1: get yourself a man who posts you on his instagram when you can't!

user2: she was right, I had to witness this🙂‍↕️

user3: mother is mothering!!!

lahjay10_: you down bad bro

- joeyb_9: and?

- user4: THAT'S A MAN!

- user5: I swear my pants were JUST on

jjettas2: what happened to the social media break?

- joeyb_9: boyfriend duties called

- user6: When he breaks his social media break for you>>

user7: Thank you for blessing us like this🙏

user8: I am straight, I am straight, I am straight

user9: Joe is so lucky😔

- user10: He gets to wake up to this everyday😫

- joeyb_9: It's a pretty sweet sight ngl

- user 11: STOP😭

- user12: bro be reading all the comments

- joeyb_9: gotta make sure only nice things are said

- user13: stop that's so cute🥹

One year later:

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, jjettas2 and others

yourusername: I let him make me Juno

view comments:

joeyb_9: Prettiest mommy in the whole world ❤️

user1: OMG I AM TOTALLY NOT FREAKING OUT!

user2: mother is a real mother???

user3: Those unhinged posts actually led to this???

user4: CONGRATS!!!!

jjettas2: Congratulations you two! So happy for you!

teehiggins: QB loading...

lahjay10_: Blessed to be baby Burrow's uncle🙏

sam_hubbard_: Congratulations!❤️

andraiiosivas: The best parents!

user5: when mama y papa actually become mama y papa🥲

[svtswhorehouse]

DATING MINGHAO INCLUDES…. — sfw

• indulging in his tea parties lollll.

• you actually never liked tea — always considering yourself a coffee girl until you met him. now, it’s your drink of choice.

• you’re the only person he never catches an attitude with.

• he won’t EVER judge you, even if the things you do are questionable sometimes.

• you learned how to make his favorite dishes from his hometown and it was one of the most heartwarming things anyone has ever done for him.

• you’re actually a terrible cook, but it’s the one thing you can do right and perfectly (shoutout to his mom and countless youtube videos for teaching you.)

• you raid his closet from time to time, letting him know that his fashion taste is superior whenever he complains about it.

• he secretly loves seeing you wear his clothes.

• you bought him one of those frog hats. he doesn’t necessarily like the hat, but wears it anyways because it makes you giggle.

• calm bf x hyper gf dynamic for sure. even if you are also calm, he’s a lot calmer.

• he has the habit of buying tea cups as souvenirs for you whenever he’s on tour.

• he insists that you try meditating whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed or have a bad day.

• he looks at you so fondly, it’s almost as if he has stars in his eyes.

• minghao was never one to see himself as a lovey dovey person until he met you.

• when you can’t sleep at night, he turns on ocean or rain sounds to help soothe your brain.

• when you two get into arguments, he’s a very good listener. he takes your side into account and tries to see where you’re coming from. you learned that he’s very level headed and because of this fights never get out of hand and are normally resolved very quickly.

• he always asks if you wanna come with him whenever he goes back home to china. (his parents love you and told him they wouldn’t allow him in the house if you weren’t with him.)

• your favorite dates are the ones in which he chooses and yall go to a museum. you actually don’t know what you’re looking at, but at least you’re spending time with him so you’re okay with it.

• if someone is ever rude to you, best believe minghao is not having any of it. he’s very quick to snap back, especially if it’s to protect you.

• he’s always buying you clothes. he’s quite the fashionista himself and considers himself an expert so best believe he’s going to use you as his model and dress you up.

• always looks at you questionably when you suggest something crazy, but nevertheless goes along with it just to see you smile.

• your outfits won't exactly match, but they would be coordinated somehow.

• he always finds a way to subtly include you in his instagram feed.

• definitely the type to soft launch your relationship on social media.

• he acts cool and calm when he finds out you're learning his native language for him (he's actually giggling and kicking his feet on the inside.)

• he's the logical one in your relationship.

• he knows you almost as better as you know yourself.

• your apartment hallways are filled with endless canvases that he painted for you.

• he's the type of person you can sit in a comfortable silence with.

• he always lets you do your own thing, but is a quiet protector. he always has his eyes on you whenever you two go out together and is ready to step in if you're ever uncomfortable.

• slow and sensual kisses !!!!!

• minghao takes the most perfect photos of you. he knows all your angles and how to do you justice through a camera lens.

[boysborntodie]

Details from The Outsiders you may have forgotten or missed

-Cherry doesn't appear after the hearing (her not waving Ponyboy is just a movie thing)

-Ponyboy fucking hates people with green eyes so bad and gets pissed when someone points out he also has green eyes

-Steve always combs his hair into complicated swirls

-The Greasers always play football together

-Soda is one of the only Greasers who never gets drunk

-He also doesn't smoke unless something is bothering him or he wants to look tuff

-Darry, on the other hand, never smokes because it would affect his perfect body which he is very proud of

-Darry is also proud of being smart and sensible

-Ponyboy is the heaviest smoker out of the Curtis family

-Johnny started smoking at 9 and Steve at 11

-Johnny would've run away from Tulsa if it weren't for the gang

-Soda gives killer massages

-Ponyboy's razor wasn't working while he had to dissect a frog so he just took out his knife

-Darry goes skiing with some of his old friends sometimes

-Cherry and Marcia barrel race often and are pretty good at it

-Soda used to ride in rodeos but after breaking a ligament, his dad made him quit

-Sometimes Soda and Steve let Ponyboy help them fix the cars at the DX

-Johnny is the most law-abiding of the gang, and didn't even carry a knife until the Socs jumped him

-Cherry has an older brother

-Ponyboy used to have a yeller cur dog

-Johnny's scar his from his temple to his cheekbone (it's huge and also hard to look at)

-Two-Bit is great at doing impressions

-Two-Bit often raises one eyebrow, and the gang associate the gesture with him

-Dally and the Curtis mother got along well before she died

-Ponyboy is a scarily good liar

-Ponyboy notes that while he sees Johnny as a scared puppy, he actually looks rather hardened and cold to a stranger

-Johnny's skin is lighter under his bangs

-When at the church, Johnny puts his jean jacket over Ponyboy while he went out to get groceries

-Steve, Dally and Two-Bit wouldn't have thought of buying soap at a grocery store

-Ponyboy calls himself a Pepsi addict

-Dally hardly ever cuts his hair

-Johnny loves drag races

-The Curtis Dad took the brothers out hunting often in the country

-Ponyboy has the best aim but hates shooting

-Dally heard of the old church from a cousin

-Ponyboy is the youngest person on the track team but still one of the fastest

-Darry was the closest to their dad

-Steve once called Darry 'all brawn ans no brains' which made Darry made because it reminded him of the fact he didn't go to college

-Darry will suddenly pick up a random Greasers and swings them around

-The Curtis Dad used to call Soda 'Pepsi-Cola'

-The Shepard gang and the Curtis gang have fought seriously on at least on occasion (but it's nothing compared to the rumble)

-The Curtis brothers stayed at the hospital all night for Johnny and Dally until a doctor forced them to leave

-Johnny has a clean police record

-Ponyboy chews his fingernails when nervous

-Johnny often sleeps at Two-Bit's house

-The Curtis brothers all have huge appetites

-Darry always checks Ponyboy's Math homework for mistakes

-Johnny looks like his mother; having the same black hair, dark eyes and tiny built/height

-Soda did actually try really hard to stay in school but he kept failing

-Darry and Ponyboy both enjoyed school and athletics while Soda isn't into either

-The only thing Dally did honestly was jockeying

-Johnny really good at poker (or Ponyboy is really bad)

-The only time Johnny has been confident and not scared in his life, was when rescuing the kids in the church

-Johnny actually gets hurt because he pushed Ponyboy out first of the church

-Sodapop loves attention and was good with the reporters

-Sodapop has a crazy sweet tooth

-The Curtis brothers all love chocolate

-Darry never locks the front door in case one of the gang need a place to stay

-Ponyboy once found Tim Shepard sitting on their couch reading the newspaper

-Ponyboy thinks that Two-Bit wouldn't have gone inside the church if he was there

-Two Bit wished that the one hurt was anybody but Johnny and that the gang would have still been able to get along had it been anyone else

-Darry once took an aerobatics course and taught all the Greasers everything he knew

-Soda and Two-Bit were doing aerobatics and then got arrested for disturbing the peace

-The Curtis gang are noted to be better at fighting than the Shepard gang

-Tim Shepard looked like a model from the magazines Ponyboy reads

-Ponyboy notes that sweat ran down Dally's face when Johnny died, but it was probably tears

-Cherry drives a Sting Ray

-Curly once slipped off a telephone poll and broke his arm

-Johny's a good listener and all the members of the gang often go to tell him about their day or their problems

-Johnny says in his letter that the lives of kids were worth more than his

[radioactive-mouse]

i keep thinking about like. how the brutality levels vary between seasons and how secret life is the natural culmination of everything these people have been through and the watchers pushing everything to extremes. i’m going to try to articulate how crazy this makes me

3rd Life: god. 3rd life was a clear cut war. we haven’t seen a season since where nearly everyone has such an intense devotion to their chosen faction. the fact that there’s no precedent that they’re coming back next season, the fact that as far as they know, dying means staying dead, makes just how much they’re willing to go down with the ship that much more heartbreaking. grian ended the season exactly how it was played by damn near everyone else— i love you, i would do anything for you, i would rather die than keep going without you. the season of widows.

Last Life: and then they come back. and then ending things isn’t an option. and all of a sudden it’s not a war, it’s a death match, and damn is the competition is vicious. deaths are more often than not a vague, impersonal thing— not get away from my king, my husband, my charge— just the flash of a knife and a quick sorry, just playing the game! if 3rd life told you to hold the ones you love close, defend them to your last breath, last life urges you to burn that love out of your chest entirely.

Double Life: but everything slows down eventually. no more dying for the one you love— just learning to live with them. double life is about knowing that when you die, you will go together, hand and hand into the dark. a soap opera, the players joke. a small kindness, the universe replies. again, pearl wins the same way everyone else lost— no, not yet, please, just give us a little longer together, i’m not ready, i’m so sorry—

Limited Life: but the clock, unyielding, ticks ever onward. and god, everyone is starting to feel it. that sick, nauseating feeling of dread creeping up on them: what if it never ends? what if this is it, this is all that’s left for us— tearing each other apart over and over and over again, and for what? for a show? to feed those hungry things lurking in the dark? we’ll give them a show. bombs rain from the sky, the world shaking under the weight of it. there isn’t a thing left by the end that’s not rubble. we’re all doomed! the players cry, laughing with nothing but nihilistic, unrestrained joy. none of it matters! we come back again, and again, and again, have a little fun with it! light the fuse, collateral be damned. when death means so little, what’s the point in pretending they don’t take a little joy in it? we settle this like grian and scar before us, scott jokes, armor and weapons tossed to the side. are you insane? martyn thinks, remembering the hollow look that would wash over grian’s face when he thought no one was watching. it ruined him. it will not ruin me. this is a death match for a reason.

Secret Life: and here it is. the natural conclusion. this season is candy colored, the map dotted with cute pink houses and silly builds, the players all running around doing these ridiculous tasks. it’s so easy to forget how bloody this season was. unclosing wounds, bruises that don’t fade, the sting of fire or falling from a simple misstep. the hurt never goes away, but it gets easier to ignore— distract yourself with something silly to pass the time: spyglasses and frogs and the ugliest house you’ve ever seen and matching leather jackets and the doghouse and the relationSHIP and a weird tunnel full of doors and secret soulmates and god it’s almost, almost, enough to forget how much it all aches, how much the grief weighs on you, how many times someone you love has died, sometimes to your own blade. almost none of the grudges you hold are real by now, not really. not when you’re going to live and die with these people for as long as the hungry, many-eyed things delight in your suffering. you love each other, in the strangest way— sure you’ve all killed and betrayed each other in a thousand different ways, but at the end of the day, they’re all you have. clinging to each other in the face of the vast, unknowable horrors that drive you to slash each other to pieces. it’s still a game, after all. they’ve gotta figure out how to be good sports about it eventually.

[ababanerb]

meet me in the rain -sebastian sdv

AO3 is linked here

summary: Sebastian has a list of reasons why he wants to leave Pelican Town that goes on for miles. The only thing he'd stay for is the rain, or that's what he tells himself. The rain gives him one more reason to stay.

wc: 1655

Sebastian is only four when his mom moves them out to the valley. It’s a new house, a new town, a new dad, a new yard, and it feels a little like he has a new mom, too. His bedroom is upstairs, just down the hall from his mom and Demetrius, and it still smells like the sealant and varnish his mom had used when she’d built the house.

But he’s not home.

His home is still in Zuzu. The cramped little apartment with the park just a couple blocks away and the coffee shop his mom would take him to when his dad was particularly mad. He misses his dad, even though his dad scared him. His home is the four cramped walls that had been his and Robin’s when she’d taken him and run to the closest domestic violence shelter. It’s wood shavings in a little pile on the tiny kitchen table only a few feet from their bed as she carves him a new toy because she can’t afford him any real toys.

They’d been real to him, though. 

So, he hates, with all he can, he hates this new town, and this new house, and his new dad who isn’t his dad at all. He hates his new room, hates his new toys, misses his old ones carved from pieces of scrap wood his mom had found. 

But mostly, he hates how quiet it is.

In the city, there had been no shortage of noise. The little window mounted A/C unit had always hummed noisily in his ear, and there had always been noise out on the street no matter the time of day. Cars honking, and the upstairs neighbors shuffling noisily above him as the TV played in the living room.

In Pelican Town, though, it’s near silent. The A/C sits on a concrete pad outside and the air hums near silently through the vents. There are no people or cars outside to make noise, and his mom and Demetrius don’t watch any TV after nine. 

But he does like the rain. 

He likes it when his mom takes him out in it. Her belly heavy with a little sister he’s not-so-sure about, and he’s dressed in a green raincoat with little round flaps on the hood that are meant to be frog eyes. And she stands a few feet behind him as he races around the bank of the lake near their new home and hunts for frogs in the bushes. Cheering with him when he races back, frog cupped in his hand, to display his catch with a wide grin of pride.

“It rains different here,” He tells his mom, hand held securely in hers as they walk back to the house, thoroughly soaked even despite their raincoats. There’s a frog in his pocket that he hopes she won’t find when she helps him out of his coat inside. 

“How do you mean, Sebby?” She asks, and he giggles as she walks him in a zig-zag the rest of the way to their front door. A game they can still play even with her swollen belly.

“It’s just different.”

She laughs, and he shrieks with laughter when she tickles his ribs after she finds the frog he’d hidden in his coat pocket. And he decides, right then and there, that if he can have rains like this, then it’ll be okay.

And it is. It’s okay, that when Maru gets big enough to need her own room, he gets to move down into the basement — it’s actually more than okay, but no one needs to know that. It’s okay that his parents' attention has shifted away from him, because how else would he get into all the trouble he does without getting caught. 

It’s by no means great. He still wants to go back to Zuzu, still wants out of Pelican Town. Want somebody, anybody to acknowledge his work as something more than surfing the internet. Or attract a girl that isn’t a special breed of crazy that wants to fix him – because he’s not broken, fuck you very much.

But he never ever wants to give up the rain in the Valley.

So, it’s all fine, really. 

When the weather’s good, he makes the trip out to his lookout just before sunset. Or if it’s even better and he has the time, he’ll make the trip into the city, and check out the old apartment building he and his mom had lived in. Pick up a new figure for his weekly Solarion Chronicles sessions with Sam, and get coffee in a cafe in historic downtown Zuzu and wish he could have grown up there instead of in Pelican Town.

Until he meets the farmer. Or rather, the farmer meets him.

Because, well, he already knows about the farmer. About you. He doesn’t know anybody in town who doesn’t know about you. Or about your dead grandfather, or about how you’d moved out to Hicksville-nowhere on a whim.

You can thank Lewis for that.

So, thanks to word of mouth and a town rumor mill so fast it should really be its own newspaper, he feels it’s safe to say that he knows you as much as he needs to know you. All without ever meeting you. He knows what your favorite color is, he’d heard it from his mom who’s heard it from Jodi, who’d heard it from Caroline, who’d heard it from Emily, who’d overheard you mention it to Haley one time. He knows everything he needs to know about you, all without meeting you.

Then, he meets you, by total chance. 

It’s Winter, nearly a whole year now since you’d moved into town, and it seems to him that you’ve met everyone but him. Although he's not complaining, he hadn’t made the effort to try and meet you either. 

It’s raining, the day you meet him, thunder booming in the distance, the sky lighting up with flashes of lightning. He’s standing at the end of the docks, soaked through to the bone, hair plastered to his forehead as he tries and fails to get his cigarette to stay lit. Willy had gone back into his home hours ago, gruffly warning Sebastian to go home before he got himself sick.

He stays anyway. After all, he likes the rain.

He doesn’t run around chasing frogs anymore. Can’t remember the last time he’d fell flat in the mud when he’d dove for a frog, lungs burning with exertion. Can’t remember the last time he’d shoved frogs in pocket, wanting to take them home as pets.

But that’s okay, because even though he’s changed, the rain hasn’t.

He’s so lost in thought, fingers trembling as he tries to get his lighter to hold a flame long enough to get his cigarette going, that he doesn’t notice you coming down the dock towards him. Your boots clomping wetly against the rain soaked planks as you approach.

“Need a light?” You ask, still relatively dry beneath your raincoat layered over your thick winter coat. Whatever hair you’d left peeking out from beneath the hood of your raincoat is plastered to your face, thin rivulets of water running down your temples.

You beam widely at him, opening up your coat and digging your own lighter from the inside pocket and lighting it up in the dry space near your torso, “Come on, hurry!” You tell him, and he fumbles with his pack of cigarettes, fingers numb and shaking as he pulls a fresh cigarette from the carton and presses one end into the flame of your lighter.

“Thanks,” He says after a moment, when he settles the cigarette between his lips, and you’ve tucked your lighter back into your coat and zipped yourself back into the warm layers of your winter wear.

You hum, hands shoved deep in your pockets as you stare out over the sea.

“Of all the places you could live,” He starts after a moment, smoke billowing from his mouth and nose, “You chose Pelican Town?”

You shrug, “I didn’t exactly get to choose.”

“Oh.”

It’s silent again, rain pounding against the wooden planks of the dock, and the choppy surf lapping at the shore. 

“I like the rain here, though,” You say after a moment, feet shuffling awkwardly, “It’s different than the city.”

And that’s all he needs to know.

“Me, too,” He says, lips quirking up with a near invisible smile as he offers his cigarette to you.

You take it.

Yeah, Sebastian thinks, years later, from his place on the couch in your house that has also become his home, his laptop humming loudly in his lap as the fan fights for its life to run his coding software, I like the rain.

It’s raining again, not that either of you mind, curled up on the couch together with the TV playing in the background. It’s all the noise he’d loved in the city, minus the yelling and the actual city. There’s a terrarium in his office, the space you’d carved out just for him, and he can hear his pet frogs croaking happily even in the living room. His mug sits on top of the coffee machine in the kitchen, and his keys have their own hook by the door. There’s an ashtray out on the porch railing for him, too, green frogs painted and glazed over on the sides. 

“Your laptop sounds like it’s fucking dying, Seb,” You remark to him, voice dancing over a quiet laugh, your feet tucked beneath his thighs, “Is it time for an upgrade?”

“Yeah,” He sighs, saving his work and setting his laptop down on the coffee table as he turns to you with a smile, “But that would mean a trip into Zuzu.”

“Okay, and you love Zuzu,” You agree, a confused smile meeting his, “What’s the issue?”

“I’d rather just stay home.”

[revelboo]

Over it Now

Jazz x Reader- hurt

• Tires screaming on wet asphalt, Jazz rounds a lazy curving stretch of country road, pushing his speed into the redline in frustration. Because it’s his fault and this is the only way he can vent out the poisonous taste of failure. He’s supposed to know everything, be one step ahead of the Decepticons all the time. Optimus won’t say a word, but he has to be disappointed. He’s disappointed in himself. He speeds up, losing himself in reckless anger.

• Elbow deep in soapy water, you hesitate when you hear the crash. It sounds too close and you grab a towel, heading outside. For a moment all you can hear is the sound of frogs in the woods, the world peaceful. Then you see it.

• Breath locking in your lungs, you stare at the distant, fitful glow. People always take the curve too fast, but this lunatic was going so fast his car is down inside the woods well off the road for you to be able to see it from your porch. And then without really thinking, you’re running down the hill, feeling the rain-wet grass soaking your sneakers through.

• You fight your way through the brambles and undergrowth. Even with the swollen moon overhead, you can’t really see much except that glow. Headlights? It can’t be fire, it’s blue. “You okay?” Yelling as you keep pushing forward, you hear something. The sound of groaning metal and a loud crack.

• Fantastic, just a perfect end to a perfect day. Transforming so he can shove against the small tree that is partially on top of him, Jazz groans. But at least it can’t possibly get worse he decides, pushing clear of the tree to send it rolling. A sharp, pained cry is the universe’s response. Because of course it can.

• You’d frozen, staring at the impossibility of the wrecked car unfolding itself into a huge robot and then heaving the downed tree away like it’s a stick. There’s no time dodge, as it rolls into your leg and you crumple with a scream. Tears streaming down your face, you try to drag yourself away as the monstrous robot looms over you, big hands reaching for you. And you black out before the horror looming over you can tear you limb from limb.

• When you come to in the hospital, you lunge and nearly roll yourself right out of the bed as panic sparks through you. Your mind is a confused tangle of fear and pain and monsters. A nurse appears to push you gently, but firmly back down. Apparently your leg is broken and someone dropped you off, dumped you, unconscious at the ER entrance. It’s a miracle an ambulance didn’t run you over. You can only stare at the woman, whole heartedly agreeing with the censure in her voice as she fusses with your IV. What had really happened?

• Certainly not what your brain was insistently screaming happened, because that’s crazy. There hadn’t been a giant robot. You get an Uber to bring you home as soon as they clear you, and your hands won’t stop shaking the whole ride. Pretending you’re not about to have a nervous breakdown when the driver helps you with your new crutches, you struggle to the front door and let yourself in.

• Making your awkward, undignified way through the house, your skin prickles as you pass the French doors in the living room. There’s a car you don’t recognize parked beside yours, a sporty looking thing. White with blue and red stripes that scream not only speed, but money.

• And pity joins the guilt as the little human unlocks the glass doors and limps outside to stare at him. He hasn’t meant to hurt anyone and he’s broken you. Hadn’t even known you were there. Well, this is his fault. He can own up to it. Transforming, he just manages to catch the human in his servos as they keel over. Again. Scrap.

• Groaning, your head lolls back against a hard and warm surface. Something else shifts against you, under you, touching your jaw to gently turn your head. Your world moving like you’re on a boat. Squinting against the throbbing in your head, you stare up at a huge face staring right back at you from way too close. And you scream.

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