#cordelia chase quotes

[alwaysspeakshermind]

Favorite Fictional Ladies Alphabet C is for: Cordelia Chase

In the realm of TV shows aimed at teens, there are Queen (B)ees, and then there are Queen. Fricking. (B)ees. For me (someone who always enjoys a good loudmouthed bish with low levels of tact and absolutely ZERO respect for the meaning of the phrase shut up), the early seasons of Buffy were kind of difficult, because I frequently questioned who was my favorite B-word: Buffy or Cordelia. 

Yeah, Cordelia essentially serves as the reliable antagonist in Buffy’s day-to-day, non-slaying world, and yeah, she’s a pretty, popular, runs-the-school-and-everyone-in-it kind of girl rather than an outsider who instantly commands sympathy, but what of it? An antagonist is, after all, just someone who opposes/causes trouble for the protagonist, and as Cordy herself would point out, being the It™ girl in high school isn’t really all it’s made out to be. 

Besides, let’s be honest here: antagonists are not automatically evil simply because they’re arguing with the protagonist, and while Cordelia may be mean, self-centered, and almost unbelievably shallow at times, she is not stupid and she is rarely wrong. Every group of world-saving heroes needs someone with the backbone to say the rude-but-true thing everyone’s thinking, and Cordelia’s more than happy to be that person.

Why she’s my girl:

Despite her overt vanity, callous treatment of wallflowers like Willow, well-cemented status as human-thorn-in-Buffy’s-side, and inexplicable fondness for sweaters knotted around the neck (no, baby, no!) Cordelia commands my undying respect. Regardless of whatever insane situation she’s in, Cordelia is always and reliably Cordelia, aka Cordy, aka Queen C. Whether she’s addressing humans, vamps, or other monsters, she’s loud, opinionated, and ready with an arsenal of insults that sting all the more because there’s a lot of truth in them. 

But as cutting as she can be, she’s also (arguably) the least hypocritical of all Buffy’s non-evil characters, mostly because she’s just so straightforward about who she is: not the runner-up, but The Queen. Not a sheep, but a trendsetter. Not someone who tells lies to protect egos or fragile self-esteem. (Remember that time Buffy could hear everyone’s thoughts and only Cordy’s exactly matched the words that left her mouth?) 

Her relationship with Buffy and co. is more in the frenemy category than anything else, and she’s just as liable to ridicule/flat-out bully as she is to lend assistance, but she sticks with them (for the most part) despite everything. “Nice” isn’t a part of the deal, and though she’s very clear about that, she’s not the dumb, stone-cold, heartless flake everyone around her tends to think. Yes, her concerns are almost never what people think they ought to be, yes, she exasperates everyone with her skillfully brutal assessments of people and situations, and yes, she never misses the chance to criticize someone’s fashion or lack thereof. But she also gives people rides whenever they need them, staunchly defends those she decides to consider part of her circle, and refuses to accept less than what she knows she deserves. She is a fighter when it comes right down to it, but she’s also a very cool realist—if someone else is willing to do the fighting for her, why should she bother making the effort and ruining her manicure? If a formidable foe challenges just one person to a fight, why should she go along and risk her life? 

No, she’s not kind, yes, she makes comments so cutting they’re probably better described as cruel, but she’s also extremely strong, smart, and layered in a way that’s typically not seen in HBIC TV characters both before and since. And every once in a while, albeit essentially never on purpose, Cordy lets it slip that her bitchy, shallow, valley-girl exterior actually conceals a beating human heart—a pretty big one, at that—and it’s kind of beautiful.

(What—she can’t have layers?)

Favorite quotes: Way, way, WAY! too many to count, but some favorites are:

“It’s like when I go shopping, I have to have the most expensive thing. Not because it’s expensive, but because it costs more.”

“God! WHAT IS YOUR CHILDHOOD TRAUMA?!?”

“People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like the time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike…it was the most traumatizing event of my life, and she’s trying to make it about her leg! Like my pain meant nothing.”

“You think I’m never lonely because I’m so cute and popular? I can be surrounded by people and be completely alone. It’s not like any of them really know me. I don’t even know if they like me half the time. People just want to be in a popular zone. Sometimes, when I talk, everyone’s so busy agreeing with me they don’t hear a word I say.”

“We’re still all rooting for you on Saturday! I’d be there for you myself if I didn’t have a leg-wax.”

“I just don’t see why everyone’s always picking on Marie Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good, and people just don’t appreciate that kind of effort.”

“‘I aspire to help my fellow man.’ Check. As long as he’s not smelly, dirty, or something gross.”

“You’re sheep. All you ever do is what everyone else does just so you can say you did it first. And here I am, scrambling for your approval, when I’m way cooler that you ‘cause I’m not a sheep. I do what I wanna do, and I wear what I wanna wear. And you know what? I’ll date whoever the hell I wanna date. No matter how lame he is.”

“Tact is just not saying true stuff. I’ll pass.”

[“What about that nutty ‘all men are created equal’ thing?”] “Propaganda spouted out by the ugly and less-deserving.”

"I know what you're up to. You think if you get me mad enough I won't be so scared. And hey, it's working! Where's a damn weapon?"

“I am the surgeon of mean.”

“Oh, God. Is the world ending? I have to research a paper on Bosnia for tomorrow, but if the world's ending, I'm not gonna bother.”

“In fact, I wish all men, except maybe the dumb and the really agreeable kind, disappear off the face of the earth. That would be so cool!”

[“You have no shame.”] “Oh, please. Like shame is something to be proud of?”

“I’m Cordelia Chase, dumbass.”

“I think it, I say it. It’s my way.”

[luneartt]

[realbuffyquotes]

Oz: We should figure out what kind of deal this is. I mean, is it a gathering, a shindig, or a hootenanny?

Cordelia: What's the difference?

Oz: Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings. Shindig, dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage. And hootenanny, well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny.

[invisible-pink-toast]

“The woman dies.

She dies to provide a plot twist. She dies to develop the narrative. She dies for cathartic effect. She dies because no one could think of what else to do with her. Dies because there weren’t any better story ideas around. Dies because her death was the very best idea that anyone could come up with.

‘I’ve got it! Let’s kill her off!’

‘Yes! Her death will solve everything!’

‘Okay! Let’s hit the pub!’

And so, the woman dies. The woman dies so the man can be sad about it. The woman dies so the man can suffer. She dies to give him a destiny. Dies so he can fall to the dark side. Dies so he can lament her death. As he stands there, brimming with grief, brimming with life, the woman lies there in silence. The woman dies for him. We watch it happen. We read about it happening. We come to know it well.”

- The Woman Dies by Aoko Matsuda (translated by Polly Barton)

[buffytheslayrposts]

I apologize for being gone, here's the aesthetic for BTVS, some aren't from the show but reminded me of it

[lessnowon]

cordelia: nice outfit. it would look better on me

buffy: i don't think that's how the line goes

cordelia: no, i said what i meant to say

[theoverlookedoneedits1997]

Welcome to the Hellmouth Fashion Part Two

Angel’s ‘let’s just say I’m a friend’ outfit: 7/10

It’s average, nothing really special

Cordelia’s ‘childhood trauma’ outfit: 8/10

It’s cute and the colour is nice, my favourite part is the purse.

Willow’s ‘Seize the Day’ outfit: 6/10

It looks so comfy and I do think it’s cute, but it’s not for a night out at the local club.

Xander’s ‘scoring at the bronze’ outfit: 5/10

Nothing to say about this one, it’s not ugly so that’s a plus.

[hal-1500]

[theshippingnews]

"Tact is just not saying true stuff."

- Cordelia Chase, definitely autistic

[inlovewithquotes]

"So--are you all right?" she asked.

Alastair's black eyes were fathomless. "What do you mean?"

Cordelia couldn't bear it any longer. "I heard you and Charles talking in the library," she said. "I heard you say you loved him. I won't tell anybody else, I promise. You know I always keep my word. It doesn't make the least bit of difference to me, Alastair."

Alastair was silent.

"I wouldn't have said anything, but--for Charles to become engaged again, after he knew how unhappy you were about Ariadne--Alastair, I don't want anyone to be cruel to you. I want you to be with someone who will make you happy."

Alastair's eyes glittered. "He's not cruel. You don't know him. He and Grace have an understanding. He explained it to me. Everything Charles does is so he and I can be together." There was something mechanical about the words, as if they had been rehearsed.

-Chain Of Gold

[superfandomcorp]

Cordelia: Oh, I'm sorry, did I interrupt your session of 'looking at melancholic Buffy pictures'?

Angel (becomes tense and tries to hide his discomfort.): I don't know what you're talking about.

Cordelia: Yes, of course. And I'm just an exiled princess from another world, too."

Angel: Cordelia...

Cordelia: you should call her, you know?

[inc0rrect-chaos]

Cordelia: Hi, sorry for ghosting you I’m being tormented by psychic horrors beyond your wildest comprehensions.

[harognakosh]

Cordelia: "What is stalking nowadays the third most popular sport among men ?” Angel: “Fourth... after Luge.”

[realbuffyquotes]

Cordelia: You're really campaigning for bitch of the year, aren't you?

Buffy: As defending champion, you nervous?

[incorrect-buffy]

Cordelia: Help, someone at the Bronze has been killed!

Buffy: Calm down, we don't need you to Panic! At the Disco.

[buffytheslayrposts]

Cordelia gettin' real