#contacted my professor about it and he was like thats cool also you got an f on your last assignment

[heckitall]

OKAY my questions:

i seen more than a handful of times that Donnie and Leo have one red eye one blue eye??? canon or fanon? its cool either way

Raph's snapper tail is totally fanon right? that doesnt magically sprout in the movie or s2?

Donnie's "dent" or scratch in his soft shell. is this a thing or just culturally agreed upon by everyone?

does everyone get different weapons????? IM SO CONFUSED HOW MANY SHARP POINTY WEAPONS DOES LEO HAVE

Splinter being an absentee father when the kiddos were lil - true or fanon?

from what i can tell, theres no mention of who the "older" twin is, right? do they mention theyre twins in the show? did i miss it? i could have totally missed it

okay i think thats it for now

i know its weird asking questions before i can finish the show but - BUT

im trying i promise

[iwonderwhyitrysohard]

its really hard not to get angry sometimes

i know im a full time college student so doing classwork and networking and whatnot is my job. but like i have two jobs, and im taking 16 hours of classes, and one of my professors is the worst.

this man told me he wouldnt excuse any absences for a surgery i was supposed to have this wednesday. but since i had sepsis and could have died i GUESS i can have that excused.

im on a very liberal campus. and i am a very liberal myself. but jesus christ i'm starting to get why disability gets denied so often and why nobody believes me when i seek help.

im sure some of it is just my anger spilling over, and i feel the need to get angry at people with less severe symptoms than me, but there are also just so many people here who don't have what they claim they have.

you would think as people studying mental health and illness and the brain you would know that not having any sensory or social issues prior to college means you dont qualify for an autism diagnosis. but that just slips right over so many people's heads.

im not even kidding, i had someone tell me that because im diagnosed autistic that i cant make autism jokes because it isnt fair to the people who self diagnose.

it isnt fair to some of the people who take the resources i need and delegitamize my illness.

ok!

and ofc not everyone who self diagnoses is wrong. i mean i cannot tell you the amount of people i know who suspected autism, saved up their money, and bam, autism diagnosis. Even those who can't go get a diagnosis are often correct, they have the symptoms!

but these people literally cannot stop themselves from divulging information about their pasts that proves they just have ADHD and social issues.

if you take psych classes in college people will trauma dump. its inevitable. but to trauma dump, give us a full look at you and the issues you've had, then claim a disability you don't have the symptoms of makes me upset.

i think its hard for me too because i want to pretend that autism is becoming more socially acceptable but it really isnt. the idea of "quirky childlike autism bean" is becoming popular. i miss a lot of social cues, and sometimes i say things that are not appropriate because i misread the room. accepting autism would be like my friends who explain to me why what i said isnt appropriate and help me understand nuance. accepting autism is understanding that i cant go to every social event we plan because i cant handle new people, so you plan events just for us.

it isnt people who coddle my destructive symptoms and let me get away with stuff because "well you have autism."

no autism isnt an excuse you can use for stalking someone. (yes someone tried this excuse after i reported them to administration for threats/harassment)

its not an excuse you can use for why you dont do chores or help around the apartment. (seen this one on our college yikyak)

its not a badge of honor that grants you access to some secret club.

its got perks but its got a ton of downsides. i have to consciously manage my symptoms daily. and its exhausting! but thats what its like to have something like this.

i dont wanna devalue other people's experiences, and i really just want to know why people think its so cool to be disabled. i guess i just wish i could be them. that i could have something mild or not at all and just get to claim the title and manage a couple symptoms.

but that wasnt what i got.

i think everyone who suspects a disability of sorts deserves recognition and the access to doctors who can help them for cheap or free.

even if you dont have what you think you do, you might have something else. or maybe you are even atypical!

i just get upset because i had to jump through all of these hoops and have so many people treat me different just because of some words on paper that i had to pay for. i mean seriously testing is expensive and its all for what? a piece of paper that says i cant make eye contact or handle loud sounds (/s)?

that i had to be so uncomfortable and treated so badly to find out thats whats wrong with me.

and some people just dont have to go through that.

im angry that i did and they didnt.

but thats life. its different for everyone. and i know that. i just wish i didnt get so angry sometimes.

[lunaekalenda]

Congratulations on your milestone!! I'd like to request 👄🚗💖 (or maybe trajicomedia not sure there 😅) for Levi, Reiner and Zeke pls 🥺💘 there is not much content for the monke and can you pls end the five with fluff please. Hope u have a great day!!!

ofc! i hope you like it and thanks for requesting on my event! 

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enemies to lovers + modern au + romantic tragicomedia feat Levi, Reiner and Zeke.

w: maybe implicit sex mentions on zeke's, nothing important.

a/n: the starting of the one shot is the same for the three characters, but the ends change!! also i’m not gonna lie, i wrote the tension scenes listening to the gerudo valley theme from the legend of zelda: ocarina of time lol also, on zeke's end i took the prompt that they already make uo with esch other but they have a playful hate (like fake rivality)

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

Your university’s debate team is recognized everywhere. It’s a really prestigious one, and you, as its captain, are always praised by other professionals. Since you’re captain, you have won against a lot of teams from different universities and even different countries, but you never won against the team that Levi Ackerman commands. 

“Isn’t this the Ackerman team?” Pieck asks, showing you a piece of paper. Your university is called to participate on a debate night on the south of the country. And your rivals that night is Levi’s team. 

Even when you never compite against him, you know him too well. He used to be in the same high school as you, leading the debate team since he’s just a teenager. He doesn't know you since you two never talked. The day comes fast and you’re looking through the window, with Pieck sitting on your side seat and Porco looking through the space between the two seats, that way he can speak to you two. He looks unamused. “Is that team that good? I only hear good comments towards us.” Zeke nods from the teacher's seat.

"Yeah, and guys, we're going to mash them and take the trophy home"

"But they're older?"

“They are older. Not a lot, maybe a year, but they play on another league” you say. You’re quite nervous, this encounter will maybe decide the future of your team. If your team wins, you’ll be officially the best debate team among your country’s universities. You have to win this. 

The place were you all stay is big and comfortable. You share a room with Pieck in the first floor, while Reiner and Porco have to share the other upstairs. You can hear how Porco curses and Reiner announcement of “Uno” while they play cards. Zeke is probably smoking outside.

“I think I’m going for a shower” You nod and Pieck gets all her things, heading to the public bath downstairs. You put a sweater on top of your clothes and go outside to explore a bit. Your team is pretty good, and they all follow your commands. Except Reiner. He wanted to be the leader so bad... He has kinda rivalry towards you since you got the title of leader. He has been bittersweet about it. 

The gardens are really pretty, with a huge fountain in the middle. There you see Levi, talking to a blonde man, looking at him with maybe concern. You can’t really tell since they are far and the water that falls from the fountain difficults your vision. They are talking, but you can’t hear about what. The blonde man moves and you see the card hanging from his neck. He is a professor.

You turn around and make you way back silently, trying to not grab their attention in any way. You don’t want to meet Levi, you’re sure you’ll feel intimidated and you want to make Reiner know that you’re totally valid as a leader.

Wait, then, shouldn’t you show Levi you have no fear into competing against him tomorrow? Isn’t it what a leader makes?

You turn around again and walk towards the two boys. Levi sees you first. 

“Y/N?” he asks. Does he remember your name? You nod once you’re near them.

“Sorry for interrupting your conversation.” You look between the black haired and the blonde man, who’s smiling politely at you. You can read his name on his card: Erwin Smith.

“Don’t worry!” he smiles. You hear how Levi sighs. “So you’re the captain of the other team, aren’t you?” You nod.

“Yes, Smith.” He laughs quietly and shakes his hands in front of you.

“No, please. You can call me Erwin.” He says. You nod, understanding.

"Are you and your team ready for tomorrow?" Levi asks. You nod quietly. If Reiner was the leader, he for sure would be intimidating and making them see you're not afraid to compite towards them. You smile.

"I wanted to comprte towards your team. It's one of the strongest."

"The strongest, actually." the teacher corrects you, wining a bad look from the boy. He clicks his tongue. "You should go and sleep, y/n" he says. "There's a long journey tomorrow." you nod and, bowing to the teacher and nodding to the boy, you leave the place.

When you arrive, Pieck was already there.

"Nice to see you, y/n. Porco has invited us to have dinner!" she says. That's why she is dressing so good. "Come on, let's go!"

The two boys are already sitting when you arrive. Porco smiles at you two while Reiner looks to another place, without making eye contact with you. For your bad luck, the only chair left is in front of him. Pieck invites you to sit. She thinks your rivalry with him is just a childish thing. But he's the one that doesn't want to admit that you're also a good leader. You sit and look at the menu as if it was the most important thing ever.

"Hey, cap!" Porco calls you. "Did you saw the other team? Aren't they scary?" he says. You shake your head.

"Actually I talked a bit to them. They're nice."

"But they are the rivals." Reiner interrupts. "Making new friends?" he asks. You don't know why the sweet Reiner became this cold towards you just because of a fucking captany. You wanted everything back.

"Reiner could you accompany me outside?" you ask. He looks at you.

"The waiter is here, sit down." Pieck says.

"We'll talk tomorrow. After the debate."

The dinner was a little awkward but Pieck filled it with jokes and support for tomorrow. Porco and Reiner went back to their dorm and so you did. Tomorrow, the debate was going to be intense.

That evening, you were sitting on a huge auditorium, on top of the stage, on four chairs with your university logo on them. In the other team, Levi was accompanied by three more people: a person with glasses and a ponytail, a tall and blonde boy and a short-haired girl. That was his team. Zeke, now accompanied by the blonde man, shows his thumbs to you.

"Let's start the debate night! Levi, do you think we should keep teaching civic valuations on the universuty?"

The debate goes fast. Their arguments easily get rid of yours. It is difficult to win, and even more with that girl on their team. Petra. She's fast and smart, as much as her captain. You were also out of arguments, defending that you should not learn more civic values was really hard. Thats how you lost.

Reiner's end

You took a shower after the debate. You sigh with all the water running down your body.

"Why the hell has to be random. If we could choose..." You dry your head with a towel back in your dorm, with Pieck packing all her things to leave tomorrow morning, really early.

"Well, that's life, y/n. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose." she says. You nod. "Didn't you told Reiner to talk to you now" You nod again. Even when she hates it. "Then go. I listened his steps ten minutes ago. He's in the terrace for sure." You dry your hair a little bit and go downstairs to the terrace. Of course, he's there, with a jacket covering his body. You've entered the debate club because of him. You had an enormous crush on the blonde boy, and he always seemed so sweet and polite you fell even more for him.

Then Zeke told you to be the captain and he changed. Fucking captany.

"Captain, I think punctuality is a quality all captains should have." he says, without turning around or facing you. You took place on his side, your arms on the cold metal of the railing. The brise moves your hair quietly.

"I took a shower." you simply say.

"You should dry your hair or you'll get a cold." he says. You sigh.

"Listen, Reiner. I don't know what changed in you ti became so cold or..."

"In me?" he asks. "Nothing changed in me. Maybe is you the one who changed." he says. You look at him with surprise.

"Me?"

"Yes, you. You started to care more for the group that for yourself. You cared for me a lot, and you always stayed until late to make my arguments. You started to forget yourself to take care of us."

"And why the hell you acted like that, Rein!" you ask, yelling to him.

"I thought that maybe if you lost the interest in me you'll start to take care of yourself!" he says. "I didn't want you to stop sleeping for me. I didn't want to see how you mistreated yourself." He sighs, and he takes his jacket out and puts it around your shoulders. He sighs. "You're going to catch a cold."

You're freeze, but not because of the cold. Did he admit...?

"So you cared for me?" you ask in a whisper. He sighs once again and looke to the sky.

"How shouldn't i care for the person I like? Because I like you."

His arms accompanied his jacket around your shoulders, and you smelled his sweet cologne when he hugged you.

"Maybe it's one sided, but..."

"It isn't." you whisper. Was he acting cold just to protect you?

"Hm? Louder, please." he asks. You grab his face between your hands before standing on your tip toes and collide your lips with his.

"I said." you whisper once you part for air. "That it wasn't a one sided love."

Levi's end

He approached you when you where helping to put everything on its place.

"Nice debate, y/n" He says quietly. You smile at him.

"Congratulations, Levi. You won."

He smiles.

"You're a really strong rival. It wasn't easy to win." he says.

"Oh, come on!" you take your things and start walking towards the exit. He follows you quietly. "You're all so smart and fast for this thing. We bite the dust." he laughs a little. The night is calm and there's not much air. You look at the fountain."It was a cool experience. Meet another people, travel with your mates..." you say. Levi nods.

"Yes. Actually, we have a night and half a morning left." you nod. It's true. Your bus picks you all up at 8 am.

"We could... hm.... like." he looks around. "Go dinner tonight." he says finally. You smile brightly.

"Of course! let me call the res..."

"No." he interrupts you. "Just... The two of us." his cheeks are blushing a bit. He doesn't seem like the boy from yesterday, the one that teased his teacher and rolled his eyes. "I would like to know more about you, if you agree." he says. You look at him. He's handsome. And intelligent. He also awakens your curiosity.

"Fine. Let's go for that dinner."

Zeke's end

Zeke was waiting for you on the main entrance of the camping. He smiled, throwing away his cigarette.

"You looked gorgeous on that stage." he says once you arrive. You roll your eyes. He takes your waist and draws you closer to his body. An attempt to kiss you.

"Wait, Jaeger. We're in the main entrance. Everybody could watch."

"Free spectacle, they couldn't ask for more." he says. You roll your eyes again, taking his hand and guiding him until your back finds the wall. Then, he cages you and, leaning on, he kisses you. He tastes like a cigarette and smells to vanilla. That's one of the things you love about him. How his sweet scent doesn't match with his appareance.

"You made it so well... maybe you need a trophy." he jokes.

"Do I have to call you "teacher" during it?" you joke back. He looks intensely at you, as if you awakened something on him.

"Actually is not a bad idea. Hearing you calling me "teacher" makes things funnier, don't you think?" he talks against your mouth.

You smile before taking him closer again, kissing him for the second time, but not the last.

The night is young yet.

[mostlikelyshutup]

thoughts while watching the first harry potter:

listen i started this list a little late im ngl but notable thoughts so far are me thinking of dumbledore as a gay idiot and still loving hagrid

do you think hes speaking in parseltongue in the zoo when hes speaking to the snake

forgot boats existed

these idiots do scream a lot dont they

i forgot how light hearted this universe really is in the first couple movies

yer a wizard harry, okay hagrid maybe slide him into it a little better

we get it tuney you have fucking trauma, doesnt mean you should abuse a child

hasnt everyone had their name down since they were born, hagrid? theres a list

i like that his umbrella is pink

are you paying for those damages hargid? stop taking the door off the hinges

though, if the dursleys are, keep breaking shit

speaking about dragons on the the fucking tube, its a miracle harry didnt get in trouble with the ministry sooner

what is hagrid's usual? does anyone know???

fucking Quirrell, cant wait for your epic love story with the dark lord

maybe we should tell the 12 year old how the fuck everyone knows his name, just maybe

they do a great job of getting the wonder down pat

how much money and licensing do you think it took for them to get all these owls on set

ahh yes, antisemitism the bank

how many vaults are in gringotts?? also if harry's vault is the potters vault, a literal like sacred 28 family, one of the original families, and its number 600 something, how many were there before the potters?? did the potters get a vault recently? or is this james and lily's vault?? how rich were james and lily if so??

look at ollivander, crazy tinker uncle, love him

this might be the socialist in me but why do people have to pay for wands if everyone needs one??

why is the dark lords twin wand just sitting around on the shelf, ollie me boy??

do you think thats Harry's true wand or do you think thats because of the horcux thing?? do you harry had to get another wand after he died?? did he? i dont remember the last movie

is ollie me boys actor wearing contacts or are his eyes just like that??

thats a very weird way of showing Halloween 81, very misleading

hagrid said ill predict voldys rise in the first movie so we can have some plot development

hagrid is late to everything isnt he? i can feel it in my bones

i swear ive seen these movies, and ive even read the first book, i just dont remember shit

youd think theyd have someone in the know stationed close to the entrance for the platform, for any muggleborns

ginnys actress really had no fucking lines in this movie did she, just had to stand there

oh wait she said good luck

amazing work ginny

ooh a warm filter

can muggles see the express? like just running from london to scotland

wicked!

you didnt have to show the woman the sad sandwich ron

i think the trolly replenishes magically, i think thats how thats how that works, i want to believe that

god i cant tell if i would love or hate hermione, shes pretentious but so was i at that age

god dont fucking point your wand right in someones face mione

how does mione know who harry is?? why does she care?

look at the tiny first years, might just go and pinch theyre cheeks

MINNIEEEE i love you minnie

looking stunning minnie, the green brings out the sternness in your brow

you go minnie, give your speech, thats my head of house

shut up draco, youre not bond

you pretentious fuckwit, your hair is brassy anyways

if this is a class of kids born in the middle of a war, how big are the usual class sizes wtf

THE FUCKING CLAP

fucking propaganda ron, you slytherin hater

what order are these names going in, did they just randomized the list

oooh we get quiet for the boy who lived, jesus let him keep living

the fact that for the rest of these people its just silent is so fucking funny to me, Harry's just fucking whispering to himself

get their attention minnie

me dads a muggle, mums a witch, bit of a shock for him when he found out

NICK, love to see you buddy

i have no emotional attachment to peeves but i feel i should mention him here

the stairs still piss me off, why the fuck would you make moving stair cases

who sets out gloves for the next day? am i the weird one who doesnt??

Minnie, you are the love of my life

shut up snape you dramatic bloodpurist incel

i know theyre setting him up to be mistaken as the villain but jesus christ hes still an asshole

your robes Neville, you forgot your robes

its weird how they have to learn all these latin charms yet only have to say up to get their brooms to work

why wont you go after him, hes obviously not exactly in control, Hooch

does Hooch only teach first years? she is quite literally the equivalent of a history teacher who coaches football

what the fuck is Quirells classroom

they dont make the house teams because no first years can try out, Ron

MINNIE PLAYED QUIDDITCH?!?!? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS

why didnt you speak up earlier Mione wtf

bc the fire wont give you away, harry, better hide

FLUFFY, WHOS A GOOD BOY

they have much worse things locked up in the school, Ron

Oliver wood is a bloody liar because i still dont fuckign understand quidditch, also theres like 500 rules, wtf

thats a shitty explanation of how the game works, Oliver

BLOW IT UP SEAMUS

SHES TWO FEET BEHIND YOU RON YOU IDIOT

carrot cake? on halloween?

dont shrug as if you didnt literally bully her ron

thought youd oughta know, bit of an understatement Quirell

no duh the trolls left the dungeon ron

lying: the best start to any friendship

we're at a net zero points for gryffindor for the year at the moment

the amount of interaction these kids have with professors is so weird to me, is this what small class size do to kids?? its weird

not comforting Oliver

Okay i understand Oliver simps now, I get it okay

are there no backups or subs for quidditch? feels like there should be, like of all the games

set him on fire mione, i know hes not the villain of the movie but god he sucks

fancy flying from harry fucking potter

okay but also i feel like there are some things we should not trust hagrid with, like hes not that great at keeping secrets

why is harry excited about christmas if he thinks hes not getting presents? i knw there are other aspects but like thats the only reasont o get up early

i always remember this scene at night for some reason??

not just an invisibility cloak, THE invisibility cloak ron

btw who gives it to harry? is it remus? is it dumbledore? is it like an inheritance thing? whats up with that?

there are jumpscares in harry potter

he very much can hide, filch

stop being a narc mrs norris

does harry even know what his parents look like at this point? how does he know who the fuck is in the mirror of erised?? he doesnt have that stupid scrapbook yet does he

oh they nod, sure lets clear up that plot hole

they shouldve put sirius and remus in the mirror in that scene, shown his whole family, wouldve been a nice setup

how does rupert grint already look so tired as a twelve year old

big speech to give to a twelve year old Dumbledore, when you wont even tell him what you see

Emma really does just slam that book on Daniels hand, thats mustve fucking sucked

the fact that ive watched two movies that had Nicholas Flamel in two very different roles this year is very strange to me

well thats probably on account of it being a fucking dragon egg hagrid, now isnt it?

was hagrid a hufflepuff? i think he was, maybe a ravenclaw

yes four, you blonde idiot

that shot is really nice, it sets them apart

what happened to filch to make him such a miserable man?

ooh mention of werewolves, awooo werewolves of london

yeah just dip your whole hand in hagrid, dont be scared of the strange liquid, take a nice little bath

i loev that dog, i want that dog, i want to hug that dog

god just the look of that forest is so bloody cool

wait so is that quirell walking fucking backwards?

maybe ask who the fuck youre talking to before asking other questions??? wtf harry

why are yout talking to the centaur like hes your old friend harry, youve literally never met him before

snape doesnt want the stone at all Harry

god hagrid you sweet stupid man

snape is completely valid for that, if a twelve year old ever looked at me like that i would punch them

Do you think people ever loose invisibility cloaks? like theyre invisible do you think they ever just never get found again

i hate the look of the dog spit, that is so gross

they really left everything in except for the fucking potions didnt they, damn

harry potter walked so queens gambit could run

hermione, posted up

rons stupid in the later movies because he got a concussion as a twelve year old

god harry really posted up to beat up snape in fucking khakis

"I knew you were a danger to me!" Hes twelve, Quirell

let me wait for this weird dude to unravel his head scarf instead of running away

the magic in this movie is real fucking conditional isnt it

just some casual necromancy for the stone? you sure about that voldy, you two faced bitch?

let me choke out this twelve year old real quick

oh yeah why is he able to just avengers endgame Quirell? is there an answer to that? like was that ever found out

do you think voldy passing by him while he hold the stone actually killed him but since he holds the stone hes functionally unkillable and then some magic gets put into him and thats why he can return to life later when he actually goes to the whole afterlife place?

ohhh we're vouching on the blood magic for the endgaming of Quirell

do you think dumbledore came across the vomit flavored bean before or after his sister died?

Mione's got a headband! Looking snazzy!

how did Hufflepuff only get 352 points? Gryffindor literally lost 150 points this year and they only beat them by 50, wtf, is it because they kept getting caught with weed

I wont even speak on the fucking outrage that is this point awarding, its already been spoken on. However, Neville shouldve gotten more points

What if someone just stood up and started challenging Dumbledores math, that would be so funny

some of these extras are really attractive

but james potter is somehow so fucking ugly why did they do that to my mans

hagrid deserves the last shot of this film, i love him, he deserves everything, that stupid sweet man

[stylesgalaxy]

mastermind; chapter 3

A car zips past me as I run across the street. I ignore it's angry honk and push through the doors to the art shop. It was a bit far from the campus and in the side of town I wasn't very familiar with. Julia and I lived in the opposite side. But I heard from a classmate that this one has the best prices.

A chime rings when I open the door but no one is at the counter to greet me. I don't mind, I start looking for what I need quickly. My calligraphy prints were not satisfactory, apparently, but the professor was letting me resubmit them. I look down the shelf against the wall but it's all canvases. I walk further into the store to check out the other aisles.

"Can I help you?" a voice startles me. I scream and turn around, holding my hand to my chest. The boy in front of me has a very handsome, very familiar face. His dark hair falls in strands over his light brown eyes, almost making me swoon.

"Hi," I say uncertainly. Zayn happened to be an art major as well, I've seen him a few times in big lectures but we've never had any classes together.

"I know you..." he says with a light smile. "You're that hot girl's friend. Julia?"

"Yes," I sigh. I'm the hot girl's friend.

"I'm Zayn, what's your name again?"

I didn't expect him to remember my name, he was very drunk and we only spoke once before I gave Julia the green light. I don't remember why I liked him so much.

"I'm Aria," I answer.

"Ah, nice name. What is it your looking for? I can help you," he says with a polite smile.

"You work here?" I ask in surprise.

He nods.

"I'm looking for ink, silver if you have."

"RIght this way."

Zayn leads me through the store to where they keep the calligraphy supplies and the Windsor & Newton inks. I'm pleasantly surprised to find that it's $2.50 for a bottle and immediately begin hoarding every colour I like. Zayn finds this hilarious, I make him show me the pens. I choose a thin-tipped one that he says is better quality than the other brands. I'm completely immersed in this shop and every thing they have because for once, I can afford these things.

It's been a good two hours before I walk up to the register to cash out. I didn't even notice how much time had gone by because Zayn was so easy to talk to and actually quite funny.

"And your total is... $84.76," he says after ringing up every thing. I happily pull out my credit card to pay. I couldn't believe how much I got for $84. "I trust I'll be seeing you soon?" he chuckles. "I mean if there's anything left for you to buy."

"Don't be silly, of course there is!" I answer. "I have to build a sculpture for one of my assignments, I'm going to be back."

"For Lennard's class?"

"Yeah, you have him too?"

"Wednesday afternoon," he smiles. "Odd guy, isn't he?"

"Oh, no doubt. What are you building for your sculpture?"

"My Patronus," he says after some hesitation.

"What's your Patronus?"

"You can find out when I finish it," he chuckles and starts moving things around his table. I take this as a sign that he doesn't want to talk about it so I leave.

"Whatever, weirdo, let me know if the Tombows go on sale," I say walking towards the door with my big bags.

"Will do! Do you need help?"

"I'm good, thanks. Bye!" I shout through my arms, struggling to open the door.

The buses hate me, as usual, so it takes me about an hour to travel back home. I have one bag in my left hand, and I'm holding my other bag with the huge papers to my chest with my right hand, all while my purse starts slipping off my shoulder. I knock hoping Julia is home and can open the door for me because I can't be bothered to fish out my keys right now.

I hear sounds of scrambling coming from inside and then Harry opens the door for me. I'm confused before I take in his messed up hair and shirt thats inside out. Behind him I see Julia on the couch, hastily arranging her hair to appear normal. I try not to make it obvious that I've noticed Harry's very apparent bulge and fly undone because I can see how discreet he's trying to be about it.

"Hey," Harry croaks. "Do you want me to help you with those?" he nods to the bag I'm carrying. I give him a tight smile.

"No, thanks," I say. I walk around him, careful to keep to not touch him and take my shoes off. "Hey, Jules," I greet her, without making eye contact, as I walk straight to my room. "I'm gonna be working on my assignment, don't mind me. You guys can... carry on or whatever... I don't know." My face heats up in embarrassment. Why am I so awkward?

I shut my door tightly and hope it didn't seem like I slammed it. Because if it looks like I slammed it then it looks like I'm mad, and if it looks like I'm mad that they were getting frisky, it's obvious that I have a thing for Harry. And if either of them realize that, it wouldn't be hard to understand why I act the way I do around Harry. I don't want to destroy the good progress we've made in our friendship this past week.

I sigh deeply and then grab a more comfortable change of clothes from my closet. My desk is already cleared up, ready for me to make my prints. Obviously, I practise on normal paper with my new pens and inks before pulling out the fancy sheets and cutting them in a neatly so they're letter sized. I'm nervous to start the first print but I get over it quickly. If I mess up this sheet, I have more but if I mess those up too, then I'm fucked because I have to submit eight prints tomorrow morning, and I'm not submitting them on two types of paper.

I think about Zayn for a few minutes while I work. Over the past two years I'd seen him around a few times because we were in the same program, but the mysterious and broody vibes that he gave off intimidated me from ever speaking to him. He was also very quiet. That has to be why Julia lost interest in him, because with a face like his there is no other reason I can imagine why she wouldn't want him. He spoke a lot to me today though. I figured that's because he was in a place he was familiar in and he sort of knew me. I can see us being friends in the future.

I didn't make any new friends during orientation in first year, so when Julia started dating Harry several weeks later, we both became acquainted with Louis and Niall and they're now my only other friends. I'm grateful for them since they let me go bar-hopping with them when Julia refused to because her and Harry preferred to just stay home together. And they were really fun too. They liked to make fun of Harry and Julia as if they're an old married couple, and their impressions are really funny when I'm drunk.

However, it'd also be nice to have an artist friend. I already wish I had gotten Zayn's number. Not to go out with him, but to have someone to talk to about my art.

I'm nearly done one print when a knock sounds at my door a couple hours later.

"Come in," I say, surprised that for once Julia learned how to knock.

"Hey," she says slowly. She shuts the door and cautiously sits on my bed. I don't turn my chair around to face her, I just keep working. "Harry just left and I wanted to say sorry about what you saw earlier."

My face heats up again.

"Don't worry about it. It's cool," I assure her.

"Okay, good, I just felt bad because I know you don't like it when—"

"Did you have sex on the couch?"

"We-what?"

"Did you have sex on the couch?" I repeat calmly.

"No, we didn't. We-uh... no. Not on the couch."

"Good, just remember the couch is off limits for sex. I don't care about whatever else you do," I say nonchalantly. "Wait, the entire living room and kitchen as well. Though I'm sure you knew that already."

"Okay," she whispers. I'm not sure why Julia is talking about this with me so delicately when she's never hesitated to go into very descriptive details about their sex life before. But then again, Julia conjures many strange explanations in that brain of hers, so she's probably labelled me off as a scared prude or something.

"Um, this isn't going to change how you act around Harry, is it?" she mumbles.

I look at her in confusion.

"What? No. Why would it? I knew you two were having sex," I roll my eyes at her. Honestly, just because I haven't done the deed doesn't mean I don't know about it. And like I said, she went into very descriptive details about their sex before.

"I know, but you've never seen us like that before. I just hope nothing traumatized you."

Harry's bulge flashes in my mind and I curse Julia for bringing it up.

"I don't know what your talking about, I didn't see anything," I lie.

"You didn't?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Really. And besides, it was clothed so it wasn't like I actually saw his dick."

"Wait what?" Julia exclaims.

"What?" I respond trying to pretend like I didn't just say what I said.

"You saw his clothed dick?" Julia stares at me, wide-eyed.

"What? No, I didn't. He has a dick?"

Julia and I stare at each other for a few seconds, before we both burst into laughter.

"Oh, God, never tell him that! He was trying to hide it so bad!" she giggles.

"I wasn't planning on it!" I wave my arms around like it was obvious. She falls into another fit of giggles.

"Moving on," I say, "you'll never guess who I met today."

"Who?"

"Remember that guy I approved of for you at that party during orientation in first year? Zayn?"

"Oh my God, I remember him! He was so hot!"

"Was? He still is!"

"Get it, Aria!" she chirps. I roll my eyes.

"He works at the art shop on the other side of the town."

"That's hot."

"Tell me about it," I smirk. "I think I'm gonna go see him again soon."

Julia and I ended up talking for an hour about Zayn and other guys she's dated. For the first time in ages, my mind was completely off Harry and it felt nice to talk to my best friend about boys. We were like young teenagers again, scheming ways to lure Zayn in and planning potential future dates. I hadn't even thought about him like that until I started speaking to Julia.

It was time I moved on from Harry.

---

I accidentally tip my travel mug over trying to pour hot coffee in it and nearly burn myself. Oh fuck. Now there was coffee all over the kitchen counter and floor and none in my mug.

I quickly throw a bunch of paper towels on the tile floor to mop it up and then inspect the counter. My eyes widen when I notice the coffee seeping into the coffee machine. I shut it off immediately and unplug it from power before it explodes or something. I'm not sure how easily electrical appliances catch fire, but I didn't want to risk burning my apartment down today.

I know I can't leave this mess like this, Julia will have my head. Quickly throwing paper towels on the tile floor and the counter, I decide that if I leave right now and run, I can make it to Starbucks to grab a coffee before my class starts. So I messily mop up the mess, wash my hands and run out with my purse. I put my jacket on in the elevator and hold the folder with my new prints in my mouth.

I was up all night last night after Julia and I were finished talking about Zayn. Hence why the coffee is so important. I woke up thirty minutes ago after I fell asleep for an hour and took the fastest shower then failed to make coffee. At least my calligraphy prints were all done and ready. I'm really glad Zayn sold me the fancy paper because it makes the calligraphy look so much more elegant and old fashioned, and the silver ink enhanced it as well. All in all, I'm pretty proud of them.

It was twenty to nine which meant the campus was full of students milling around and slowly making their way to class. There were a few maniacs running around like headless chickens (me) while also texting their roommates to warn them not to use the coffee machine. I was dodging people like a bullet and nearly made it to the Starbucks when I remembered I should have mobile ordered because the line up looks so long. Just as I was about to pull to a stop in front of the store, someone bumps into me harshly and a coffee drops to the ground and my folder slips from my hand.

"Shit!" Niall yells and the same time I let out a horrified scream. Three of my prints landed in Niall's spilled coffee.

"My prints!" I shout, dropping to my knees.

"Aria, shit, I'm so sorry! I didn't see you, oh fuck are they ruined?" Niall starts blabbering.

My hands shake and as I reach out to grab one. It was then I noticed that thankfully I had enough functioning braincells before I slept to remember to put them in individual sheet protectors. The coffee touched the plastic on the outside but the prints themselves were safe.

"They're in sheet protectors, they're okay!" I hear Harry's voice. I look up meeting his gaze. I hadn't even noticed him standing next to Niall with a Starbucks coffee of his own. He bends down in front of me, pulling out napkins from his pocket and starts to gently wipe at the coffee. It comes off clean and leaves my assignment looking just as it had before. "See? Completely fine," he confirms gently. I let out a sigh of relief. I was so scared for a moment.

"You were so smart for putting them in plastic sheet protectors," Niall comments.

"Thank fuck," I grunt. I grab a napkin from Harry and help him. He stops and stares at the print he was holding.

"You made this?" he asks, as if it just occurred to him. I nod. "Shit, this is so good, Aria."

I blush and thank him. I'd love to hear him compliment my work, but I'm sad because I have to go to class coffee-less now.

"'No legacy is so rich as honesty'," he reads. "Is that Rupi Kaur?"

"No!" I scoff. "It's Shakespeare."

"Shakespeare is shite," Niall says.

"Shakespeare is one of the greatest writers in history!" I argue defensively.

"This is beautiful," Harry continues, ignoring Niall and I. I gather the prints in my folder and stand up, the boys follow suit. "'If music be the food of love, play on' I know that one!"

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. Niall and Harry were pouring over my prints and to be honest, after staying up all night to make them perfect, it felt nice to have them say it was good.

"'You have witchcraft in your lips'," Harry drawls out slowly. He bits his lip. "Can I have this? I quite like this one," he says.

"No," I quip and pull it away, gently placing them back in the folder. "I have to submit them in..." I check my phone for the time. 8:51. "Nine minutes."

I pull my purse back over my shoulder and try not to meet his gaze.

"What's the drink you got there?" I ask nodding at his coffee cup.

"Uh, a Blonde Hazelnut latte—"

"Great, thanks," I say grabbing his coffee and walking away with it. "Bye, guys, see you later!" I wave at them and smirk at Harry's indignant expression. I bring his coffee to my lips and take a sip.

---

It's been a couple weeks since I sort of walked in on Harry and Julia. They're more cautious about getting horny when I'm in the room now. And because of what I promised, I'm with them a lot. They love to watch TV together, which I don't understand. I mean I understand watching TV or binge-watching Netflix, but it seems like it's all they do. When they're not in the bedroom, or eating, they're in front of the television. How they get their work done is beyond me.

"We're watching Say Yes to the Dress, wanna join?" Julia asks me one night after I get back from work.

"Don't you guys have homework?" I question.

"We've done it already."

Probably forgot to mention that they're also both business majors, so they have some classes together.

"We have a four hour break on Fridays together, that's when we do all of our schoolwork."

They must be some next-level geniuses, because it takes me ten hours to do one assignment. I couldn't help but also feel like I lacked the security they had regarding their future jobs. Both of their father's were rich businessmen, and both of them were extremely smart. Whether they passed with a 4.0 GPA or a 2.8, they were still going to get a job with their parents and do really well. I had no idea what I was going to do when I graduated.

What did one do with a degree in Fine Arts?

These are the thoughts that plagued me some nights. What was I going to do with my degree? It cost a lot of money to even come here to this university, it was only going to double up after I graduate and try to pay it off. I'm going to spend my whole life looking for temporary jobs to pay me enough so I can pay off my student debts. I could sell paintings, but it would take years to make a name for myself that will make me successful. I could try getting my work into a gallery, but the people who get their works in galleries spend years pouring their heart and soul into their pieces. That's going to take time, and time is money—which I don't have.

I remember being just as lost in high school. Julia applied to this university and convinced me to apply as well. She dragged me to uni fairs to learn more about my program and forced pamphlets in my hands until I was in love with the campus and program enough to apply for it. And I do love it, I got to meet great people and I'm learning amazing things. I was also good enough to get in so that has to count for something, right?

"What are you going to do after you graduate?" I asked Zayn one day. He was showing me sculpting supplies when I randomly blurt this out.

"Uh," he drags out for a few seconds. His eyebrows scrunch in deep thought, but I know he thinks about this a lot too. "I guess, I'm just gonna see where life takes me."

"And that helps you sleep at night?"

"Well, no," he chuckles. "I mean... I kind of like tattooing... I thought I might work at a tattoo parlour. Or do comic book illustrations."

Tattoo parlour. Comic book illustrations.

That's a good answer. That's the perfect answer for Zayn. He has an idea, he has his himself figured out.

"What do you want to do?" he inquires.

"I don't know," I mumble.

"How about I open up my own tattoo shop and you can draw my designs for me while I draw comic books?" he suggests.

I grin at his attempt to cheer me up, and nod.

"Sure, sound's brilliant."

---

Satisfactory work on the prototype. Visually, it's pleasing. Conceptually, it doesn't really make sense. Ask yourself: what is the meaning behind this piece? How do the elements you use embody that? Why did you choose the medium you chose? And remember you don't only have to use one. It would help you to open your mind more.

I growl in frustration and slam my laptop shut. I thought this week couldn't get any worse but the feedback from my sculpture prototype was the cherry on top of the cake. I knew my idea of a dancing ballerina was sub par but I hoped that if I made it look pretty, the professor would just accept it.

Stupid art teachers. They always have to get to deep and meaningful.

I can't help but compare myself to Zayn. Zayn knows what he's making for his sculpture—his Patronus, his spirit animal. That's meaningful. He knows what he wants to do in the future, he's talented, he can get there. He isn't lacking anything.

Angry tears prick my eyes and my fingers close into fists. I lost my touch. I know it. When I came into this university, I was full of fresh ideas. Now I was just drained. All my work was being handed back to me because it wasn't good enough and I had enough. I stared at the stupid cardboard ballerina model then threw it against my wall. It bounced back which gave me no satisfaction, so I picked it up and tore it to pieces, screaming.

The door to my room burst open suddenly, and Harry barged in.

"Aria?!" he took in my state, then the torn cardboard in my hands. "What happened, what did you do?" He walks into my room, completely ignoring the death glare I'm sending him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" I scream. He was the last person I wanted to see me like this, and I had no energy to be careful around him.

Harry's eyes widen and he stares at me in shock, then apologetically.

"I'm sorry, I-I came to see Julia, but she's not here yet," he explains. I roll my eyes and turn away from him. Of fucking course. I forgot Julia had given Harry keys to our apartment. Ever since he got them, he'd been visiting more often.

"She went out with her father," my voice comes out scratchy and monotone.

"Her father—?"

"Yes. His personal assistant came to pick her up an hour ago."

"Oh okay," he says quietly, still standing in my room. I turn to look at him expectantly, but he just stares back at me like a doe with green eyes. "I'm not leaving you like this."

"Like what?" Fury drips from my voice. I don't know why it angers me so much. Who is he to know what I'm like?

"Like-like this! All crying and stuff."

"Well, I want you to leave!"

"No," he says quietly and shakes his head.

"Leave!"

He stays rooted and even has the audacity to fold his arms across his chest.

"This is my house and I demand that you leave!"

He bends down to pick up the torn pieces of cardboard. I huff and sit down on my bed, my face in my hands. I can see Harry trying to arranged the pieces back together like a puzzle to fix it. My heart strings pull at his actions. He's trying to be helpful and here I am, being a bitch to him again.

"Leave it, it's not important anymore. I already got my mark and feedback," I mutter. He gently sets the pieces down then moves up closer on the ground so he's kneeling in front of me.

"What happened? Did they say there was something wrong with it?" he asks.

"Yeah, it's useless, it's not good enough," I scoff. Harry immediately shakes his head.

"Don't say that—"

"It's true, Harry! It looks pretty but-but that's not good enough."

"What is 'good enough'?"

My throat constricts and my eyes well up in tears again. I shake my head, not being about to speak of my failure. Harry carefully grabs my hands and looks into my eyes. My heart beats faster at the feel of his soft hands over mine.

"Come, I'll make you some tea. Relax a bit, and we'll figure something out," he suggests.

"Harry, no," I say weakly. Despite my distressed state, I know I probably shouldn't be spending time with Harry like this, especially with Julia not here. But when he insists and pulls me up to my feet, I am unable to refuse him.

Harry sits me down at the small table in the kitchen and swiftly moves around to make tea.

"You've never had my tea before, no?" he inquires. I shake my head not even realizing that his back is to me so he won't see. "You're going to love it, everyone loves my tea. It's probably the best in the country."

A small laugh escapes my mouth. Harry whips his head back, an accomplished smile on his face.

"I doubt that," I say eventually. His face brightens even more at my response.

"Don't knock it 'til you try it."

He gives it a final stir, sets the spoon down on the counter, then places the steaming mug carefully in front of me. I look at the light brown liquid expressionless.

"It's Earl Grey," he says quickly. When I still make no move to pick it up he says, "that's all you guys have here, I assumed you like Earl Grey."

"Oh, I love Earl Grey," I start. Harry smiles in relief. "I hate milk, though."

His smile drops.

"Fuck," he says under his breath. He slowly drags the mug to his side. "Well... this was mine actually," he reasons, "all along." He turns around to grab a new mug.

"Oh," I play along. "See, I thought it was for me, 'cause you put right in front of me."

"No, no," he wags a finger. "That was a trick, and you fell for it. I made you think that was for you, to throw you off. I knew you hated milk all along."

I try to contain my laughter because I know he wins if I do, but I can't help it. His endearing behaviour is making me smile. His eyes sparkle at the sound of my laughter, and I am in awe at how quickly he was able to brighten my mood.

"I take sugar in my tea sometimes," he says. "I know that you..." he narrows his eyes at me and I give a small shake of my head, "don't take sugar in yours... which is why I'm not putting any in here." He places the second mug of plain black tea in front of me. I blow on it a bit to cool it then take a sip, it tastes just as ordinary as I always take my tea.

"Mmm, this truly is the best tea I've ever had," I say sarcastically.

"Told you," he grins.

Harry sits across from me and tells jokes and a few anecdotes to help me relax. Within a half hour, I'm in stitches and I've completely forgotten about my breakdown.

He finishes another story and I'm laughing harder than I have in a while. Tears of mirth slip down my face, and I wipe them away with my sleeve. I've quietened down and look to see Harry staring at me with a content smile.

"I think that's the first time I've seen you really, truly laughing around me," he says. I catch the happy glint in his eye that makes me long for endless moments like this.

"Well, I'm not like this with everyone, considered yourself special," I joke. His forehead furrows and he turns the tiniest bit serious.

"Of course, I consider it an honour to even call you my friend, Aria Collins," he declares. I search for any hint of teasing in his eyes, but I find none. I gulp and smile shakily.

His hand moves up a bit on the table and for a moment my heart stops, but his hand doesn't come any closer to mine.

"Do you wanna talk about your feedback now?" he asks gently. I sigh deeply. I know there's no escaping it so might as well get it over with now.

"My prof doesn't think it's good enough. He said it's lacking conceptually and I need to be more open minded."

He looks at me blankly. I know Harry is at a loss when it comes to art because it's not his forte, but I'm pleasantly surprised when he pushes himself to keep trying.

"What was the idea you had for the ballerina?" he asks.

"It was just a ballerina. I was fascinated with ballet when I first came up with the idea. I just thought they were cool."

He nods and thinks.

"You should make something related to you," he offers.

"But what? And how?"

"You know... and before I start, forgive me, 'cause I don't know much about art and things—"

"It's okay."

"Um, I'm taking a Greek Mythology elective this semester." I tilt my head, not expect this. "D'you know who you remind me of a lot?"

"Who?"

"Artemis."

My jaw drops.

"You're very independent like she is," he continues. "It's hard to impress Artemis, and it's hard to impress you. She's sworn to never marry—and I know you haven't but you've obviously prioritized other things before relationships. She's very, like, determined and dedicated to her work which you clearly are as well..."

Harry begins to falter and trails off awkwardly. Eager for him to feel just as comfortable as he's always made sure I felt, I'm quick to answer.

"Artemis is my favourite goddess," I tell him. His eyes meet mine.

"Really?"

I nod.

"Who's your favourite god?" he follows up.

"Apollo," I smile. Harry laughs.

"No way! He's my favourite, too!" He blinks owlishly at me. "Why don't you do something Artemis-like for your sculpture. Or Apollo-like."

I try to think of how I could twist this Artemis idea and make my sculpture about me. I absent-mindedly tug at my sleeves and bite my lip in concentration.

"You know..." Harry starts again and I inwardly smile because I know he had an idea from the beginning but he doesn't want to be too forward. "Every god and goddess has a sacred animal."

I vaguely remember reading something like that.

"What's Artemis'?" I ask.

"A deer."

A deer. Huh.

"Deer symbolize things like adventure, cautiousness, individuality..." Harry continues. I raise my eyebrows. He nods, "Sounds like someone in this room."

I crack a smile.

"I like that idea," I say truthfully. "I think I can work with that."

"What else did your prof say?"

"He told me to be more open-minded and not use only one medium or something like that..."

"What's your medium?"

"Well a medium is the physical thing you use to show your art. I was going to use clay for my sculpture."

"So he wants you to use more than clay?"

I nod. Harry looks at me like he has an idea but he doesn't share.

"How about we let this idea cook for a bit, and with time you'll think of a something."

"Okay," I agree, feeling the exhaustion of the night. I got pretty far with the deer idea anyway. "Sounds good." I get up to put away our mugs, and when I turn around Harry put his shoes on.

"I should probably leave now," he mumbles, slipping his arms through his jacket. I nod.

"Thanks, Harry," I say sincerely. "I'm glad you didn't leave, you... you helped me a lot today. I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you."

He smiles wide.

"It's no problem," he says, his hands tucked into his pockets. I surprise both of us by moving forward and wrapping my arms around his torso. He stands shocked for a moment, and then slowly rests his arms around me too. I hug him tightly, trying and failing to not pour all my emotions out. His hand rubs up and down my back. I inhale his scent. I don't want this moment to end.

Eventually, I pull away before it gets awkward. Though I don't think Harry would ever allow me to feel awkward in his presence. I fold my arms together, determined to not look shy but Harry sees right through me and snickers. He opens the door and steps out, waving goodbye.

***

There’s chapter 3! Let me know what you thought :) Also I probably should mention Aria rolls her eyes a lot. Like A LOT alot, it’s gonna get annoying I know but that’s how she is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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[missblissy]

Modern!Red Dead AU x Reader (Part 1/?)

((Let's go friends, lets get this bread.))

It’s always the era of art, isn’t it? You’re a college student that has found yourself living in the Northcountry of New York. Living here was like taking a step back in time almost a 100 years ago. You’re going to college for art, but you aren’t sure if thats a major for you.

There was a large bustling town surrounding your college, and another one across town. It was to big to be called a town, honestly, but two small to be called a city so it was somewere in between. There was plent to do. Movies, coffee shops, video game lounges, vape shops, open parks with art in them. It was beautiful.

The first person you meet is a young man and his friends laughing in one of the smoking gazebos. You were also going to smoke anyways so you suppose it was time to meet some new friends.

This is when you met Arthur Morgan, John Marston, and Charles Smith. They went to the college on the otherside of town for music... Which was funny because none of them looked like the musical type.

“Why are you wasting the air here and not at your own school?” You asked. John, the one that looked half way between a drug dealer and a drug addict, said, “Well... My girlfriend goes to school here. And we can’t smoke on campus at our school,” 

Oh. If anyone out of this odd bunch was anything normal, it was Charles. He was cool and quiet and didn’t say much other than, “Were are you from?” You told them how you lived about seven to eight hour from home. Turned out so did he. 

Arthur and John were locals. They’d grown up in the wild North country. The mountains of New York were such an odd place. Arthur didn’t talk much but he did talk about this place called Java Barn. “It’s a live music venue. It’s not actually in a barn. It’s in a old autobody shop on our campus. There’s a show tonight. You should come,” He was so stern when he talked. What a weirdo. 

“What's it like?” Charles told you it was a place were local musicans, students, and very underground and unknown bands played. It was a mix between and indoor slash outdoor music club. 

The Java Barn opened at 9:00pm but they told you to show up at 10:00

That’s when you got to meet everyone else. You thought this was a local student thing, but it turned out to be a wild and open event that any body could go to.

Found on the college campus across town stuck in a alley way between two low buildings, you found it. There had to be more than 200 people there. Scattered around in the alley while loud music blasted out of the open garage doors. 

You found the three pretty boys that you met earlier that day sitting way off to the side on a set of stairs that went to nowhere. They waved you over, John smiling and Charles getting up to greet you. They introduced you to the rest of their friends. 

There was a kid named Sean from Ireland who was far to drunk already. He was a drop out and didn’t want to go back home. So he lived with John and John’s girlfriend, Abigal, in an apartment in town. Abigal went to school for nursing, she said.

Charle’s was roommates with Arthur, who also lived in town. They had a third roommate who was a girl named Karen. She went to your school for criminal justice and she was a bit of a partier. She was also very very drunk and seemed to be gravitating towards Sean.

To your surprise you met one of your own fucking professors, It was Professor Van der Linde who taught your modern philosophy class, and your english Professor too! Mr. Mattews. You knew the two of them were friends, because you saw them always walking together in the hallways of your school, you didn’t know how good of friends though or that they were friends with students.

Was this a little unethical? No... No it couldn’t be. Right?

This party at the Java Barn was actully.... a lot of fun! You met so many people, drunk, stoned, sober, and they were all very nice. This little gang of people around the stairs off in the distance seemed like a big friend group.

There were other people too, a kid named Lenny who was in your art major. There was his friends Tilly and Mary-beth, and their friend Sadie who was a very loud and drunk lesbian who had to let everyone know who she was. You found out Tilly was also in the criminal justice major, and Mary-beth was in the english studies major. Sadie was to drunk to even communicate properly but someone told you she went to other college for psycology.

You also met some dropouts who still slugged around, named Bill and Micah who were fans of Dutch’s class and that was about it. There was also someone named Javiar but he didn’t seem interested in being friends with anyone really. 

You noticed other professors you had also at the gathering, even older people well into their golden years. It was so amazing and forigen to you. What on earth was this place that you had found?

They got you to drink, and smoke, and enjoy yourself. They were all so nice and you found yourself making friends very quickly. The music was loud and funny, it made you want to dance.

The girls all gathered together and laughed and giggled and dance and barked at any of the men that tried to squeeze in. You were dragged away by them to gossip in the bathroom. You’ve never had many friends, definetly no friends that were like this. 

You added everyone on snapchat, facebook, twitter, anything they had. It felt a little weird when Dutch and Hosea insisted that you refer to them by their names, and they gladly gave you their contact information.  

That night you walked home with Tilly and Abigal, they lived in the same dorm as you and didn’t even know it. It was beautiful walk because your campus was littered with nature trails seeing as it was in the middle of a forest. 

You didn’t have a roommate (lucky, the said) so when you got back to your half decorated room, you flopped down on your bed. You closed your eyes for a second, feeling tired but glad you took the risk and went out. Your phone was buzzing alive already. Your new friends hadn’t wasted a second texting you.

Smiling, ready for bed, you rolled over, still in the clothes you wore out and sunk into your bed, sleeping and waiting for what the next day had to bring.

[pinesconessecrets]

Ice to Meet You

Merry Christmas @ladynightmare12 ! I hope you enjoy the fic!! <: I had a lot of fun with the soulmate AU, since it’s something I’ve always enjoyed. I combined it with the first meetings AU too. Have a great Christmas! <3

****

Wirt had given up on trying to find his soulmate when he was thirteen. He still remembered the conversation that came after he mentioned it to his mom. She had choked on her tea, wheezing until she’d managed to regain control of herself again. Then began the spiel about, “Oh, sweetie. You’ll meet her at some point in your life, don’t give up now!” and Wirt just sighed. Internally, of course. He didn’t want to upset his mom any further. A good bit of everyone in his grade had found their soulmate, leaving Wirt feeling terribly alone. Sara tried to comfort him, except she ran into her soulmate a few months later; it was some guy named Brian. That was a fun day.

He was a little more than relieved to graduate high school, which meant moving away to a college in a different state. A college in Oregon had caught his eye and he applied, half expecting to get denied. But lo and behold, the college actually accepted him and even had a full ride scholarship too.

Greg was against Wirt moving across the country when he broke the news. Wirt reassured him that he would call every day and keep in touch. He wouldn’t be left out just because Wirt didn’t live in the same house anymore.

Wirt enjoyed the trip to Oregon. His parents rented a small u-Haul for the stuff Wirt could take to put in his dorm. He was lucky enough to score a single person room, complete with his own bathroom. He didn’t think he could have managed if he had to share a dorm and a bathroom, much less having to suffer from public bathrooms.

They made the drive out to be like a mini vacation, taking their time since they left a few days early. Wirt’s nerves almost got the best of him a few times, the realization of him living somewhere that wasn’t with his mom and stepdad. Thankfully Greg managed to quickly distract him before he grew too anxious, eerily able to quickly figure out when his nerves were beginning to act up.

With the help of everyone, it didn’t take long before Wirt’s room was set up. He still had a few things to tweak here and there, like moving his desk closer to the window and hanging up his poems on the walls. He didn’t have much time to be particularly picky about how his room was set up with his parents and brother around.

They stayed in town for a few days, exploring the place with Wirt in tow. It definitely was a college town considering the absurd amount of fast food restaurants around. Like seriously, who needed this many fast food places? At least there were a few cafes for Wirt to hang out in. Cafes were pretty sweet places to chill at and they had a great effect on Wirt when it came to writing poetry. He was excited about that.

Tears were shed by his mom and Greg on the day they had to leave. Greg made Wirt promise to call him every day, and that was a rock fact. Wirt lingered in the parking lot for a bit longer than he intended, staring off into space before letting out a long sigh. He hoped he would be able to survive the semester before Christmas break. His next adventure in life had begun, only to bring challenges he had no way to prepare for.

Wirt got to studying diligently when the semester began. The majority of his classes were the core classes every freshman were required to take, including math. Thank god that he only needed to take two semesters of it due to his major in English. Math was one of his most detested classes; it was the worst. Maybe he was being overly dramatic, but Wirt would rather prefer to listen to someone scrape their nails on a chalkboard repeatedly for hours than be stuck in math class for even an hour. The entire point was above him, and the fact that other kids were majoring in math just blew his mind. They were to be feared.

The semester started out slow but picked up steam as the weeks went on. Midterms came and went, letting Wirt breathe a sigh of relief when his passing grades were posted.

He video called Greg before he went out trick or treating on Halloween, both happy and mortified that Greg decided to go as a garden gnome. Their trip to the Unknown was still very present in their minds years after it happened. At least now it was easier to deal with, and they didn’t have to worry about being sent into a fit of panic when winter rolled around anymore. Wirt admitted that Greg wore the outfit far better than he did, earning a protest of “No, you wore it better!” from Greg. They bickered back and forth until their mom told them to knock it out or else Greg wouldn’t be getting any candy that year. That shut Greg up and he hastily told Wirt goodbye and that he’d show him how much candy he got before going to bed.

Wirt found himself growing progressively more stressed as the end of the semester rolled around. His professors shoved study guides down their student’s throats and made it very clear that passing their finals would make or break their grades. Wirt found himself spending more and more time at his favorite cafe. He would have been surprised that he hadn’t drunk all of their tea if he wasn’t so stressed about passing his finals.

A week before finals, the unthinkable happened.

Wirt was on his way to the Jasmine Brew Cafe, lost in thought about his upcoming math final. It was the one he dreaded the most, and rightfully so. Other students in his class struggled as much as he did. The professor didn’t know how to break down the lesson so other kids could understand what he was trying to teach. Wirt barely managed to understand what the heck he was talking about most the time, and he hoped it would be enough.

Of course, the dork was so lost in thought that he wasn’t watching where he was walking. His foot made contact with frozen ice on the sidewalk, causing him to slip and fall down to the pavement. Wirt miraculously held onto his notebooks, laying on his back, winded from his fall.

Someone with unruly brown hair peered down at him with a look of mild concern. Wirt wished he could turn invisible because he knew that everyone around him saw what just happened.

“Hi there. It’s ice to meet you finally.” The other boy paused, before continuing. “I hope that’s not weird? I’ve seen you around campus before and I noticed you were always alone and I was going to say hi but I always got distracted and oh my god I’m sorry I’m kinda rambling. I tend to do that a lot and my sister always punches me and yep I’m gonna shut up now.”

Wirt’s wrist burned. That was what his stupid soulmate mark said. ‘Hi there, it’s ice to meet you finally.’

He wanted to say something witty back, but all that could come out of his mouth was, “Was that a motherfucking pun?” He rarely cussed, but dangit he was sleep deprived and angry that he was stupid enough to fall and slip on ice.

The other boy blanched, his extended hand frozen in shock. Wirt shuffled to his feet, clutching his notebooks to his chest. An awkward silence enveloped the two, only to be broken by the other boy.

“Do you want to go somewhere warm? Get some coffee or something?”

Wirt broke free of his surprise. “Uh, um, sure. I was heading to the Jasmine Brew Cafe to get some studying done. It’s right up the street here.”

“Cool. I’ve only been there once or twice, so lead the way.” He stuck his hands in his pockets, looking at Wirt expectantly.

“Right.” Wirt turned on his heels and began walking to the cafe, fidgeting with the spiral of a notebook. He knew that he was probably acting slightly like a jerk. Okay, a lot like a jerk. He had spent the majority of his teenage years resenting the idea of soulmates, knowing he’d never find his and that he’d live the rest of his life alone. But look what happened. He ran into his soulmate.

The rush of warm air made Wirt feel grateful for heating, heading to his usual spot by the wall. He sat with his back to the wall, and a large window to his left. Being able to look out into the street helped declutter his mind.

He almost relaxed, until the other boy - his soulmate - slid into the chair across from him. He looked as nervous as Wirt was.

“I’m Dipper, by the way. I don’t think I introduced myself yet.”

“Wirt. It’s um, nice to meet you, I guess,” he mumbled, his awkwardness hitting him like a fricking train. Now that the fact that yep, him finding his soulmate was a thing, was starting to sink in, a feeling of panic also begun to set in too.

“Hey, are you okay? You look like you’re freaking out there a little. I mean, I’m kinda freaking out too, but that’s because I’m super pumped to have finally run into my soulmate.” Dipper looked giddy almost.

Wirt chewed on a nail. “Y-yeah, I’m okay. It’s just… I gave up on finding my soulmate years ago, so I never thought I would actually run into them. I hope you don’t think I’m a jerk or anything because oh my god I feel so bad for being cold to you.”

When Dipper was silent, Wirt looked up to find him holding back a snicker. With the biggest shit eating grin, Dipper replied, “Was that a motherfucking pun?”

“Oh my god.” Wirt groaned, dropping his face into his hands. “Do not use my own words against me.”

“Kinda hard to considering they’re right here.” Dipper rolled his sleeve back, revealing the words scrawled across his arm. God, they were even in Wirt’s own handwriting. How crazy was that?

Wirt reached out to touch the words on Dipper’s arm, stopping short once he realized what he was about to do. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I know it’s a lot to take in. But I don’t mind if you wanna take a closer look at them.” His voice was quiet.

Figuring that he may as well roll with the punches, Wirt pulled his own sleeve back, exposing Dipper’s godawful pun written on the inside of his forearm. Dipper didn’t hesitate before running his fingers over Wirt’s pale skin, tracing the scratchy letters of his own handwriting. It looked different from his own, his letters rushed and hurried versus the flowing loops of Wirt’s.

Wirt finally caved and traced the words on Dipper’s arm. The two dorks sat in silence, no words needing to be exchanged as they let the importance of the day truly sink in.

The corners of Dipper’s mouth quirked up in a grin after a while. “So, did you wanna get a coffee and chat? And maybe tell me how you’ve bean all these years.”

Wirt had a feeling the puns weren’t ever going to stop.

[wang-yeon]

Silver Lining| Min Yoongi

Life has its hardships especially being fresh out of college luckily you have a gummy smiled friend to help you with your struggles. You managed getting a shabby apartment with a shared bedroom and when worst comes ends up having to share a cold shower as the warm water is shut off. Things arent going so pleasant as the electricity follows off too but the most treacherous of all, you being able to face what your feelings might actually hold. But your just friends right?

Warning: Smut, cursing, stuff, Best friend Yoongi!, So much friendly bickering like damn just fuck already

Genre: Smut and fluff

Word count: 13.2K Got a little carried away..

A/N: A wild update appears. Okay this damn comeback needs to back the fuck up. Yoongi looks like a meal and bighit is now becoming a jin stan everything it beautiful. School sucks thats the main reason my updates are late as hell. also i found this promt on pintrest but switched some shit. ALSO i am supposed to be doing homework but needed to update please pray for my grades. ALso my teacher was talking about college and im not even a senior so you need to calm the fuck down with that damn word. Okay im done

Oh and you know i had to get a blue hair yoongi on the screen.

Having a longing companion was a necessity to a longing life. Having someone to share the necessitates you were used to sharing alone. The feeling of having another comforting body against your side defeating the odds always seemed appealing. It was often rare for something to come along like so. You would rather find a needle in a hay stack then finding something as extraordinary as other couples demonstrate so. It was never an easy task to accomplish as everyone seeks for so, making your chances limited.

I soon accepted this fate and decided on second best, another companion that seemingly resembled the same. A best friend was well suited for my need, as they held the same traits but still remained rather different. A significant other held the qualities of love and romance as a best friend held the traits of honesty loyalty and bundles of fun. No argumentative sides or going a long period without talking as being away from the seemed like the end of your whole soul. I needed someone to rely on and cherish without that sexual desire yet it seemed almost impossible to find. I was hovering over ever possibility i could get, still lost in the endless hay stack.

Problems and situations seem to work out for you as soon as you stop seeking for the alternative, this played in my favor. I had reached the start of my first college class. The stress had already been pending the feeling of venting to someone was much needed. I took a quick seat near the door hoping to plan my escape as soon as it all ended. I was one of the very last people to enter the room before a loud closing door drove the dread from my head. The room had already been filled with eager students ready for the ending of the class already. Most students were held in the front taking in the professors important words while I sat in the back struggling to keep up with ever aspect he covered. Meaning that there was much more available seating held in the back, conveniently directed next to me.

The boy who most definitely appeared to be late to class sat next to me carting a seemingly big coffee cup filled with a strange substance that didn't seem to be coffee. The professor didnt bat an eye to his presence as he continued his lesson for the people who seemed to be paying attention. He went on about useless things that i managed to keep track with ignoring the cramp in my hand before the boy beside me decided to make his input.

"I'm going to fuck die due to this class."

He took a long drag of his drink displayed in his coffee cup letting out a small belch. I chuckled at his statement as i had been experiencing the same but somehow managed to keep a collective exterior. on the inside i was ambushed with all the notes we had to take this being the first day. He managed to let himself catch a breather as i directed my attention to the window trying to drown my sorrows with warm bodies roaming the campus.

There were some people who were sat against the trees alone soaking in the slight breeze that was displayed that day while others roamed making new connections while others already had them. I could already imagine myself out on the campus seen soaking things in trying to befriend everything that had been combined in my path. I saw college as a wonder filled experience, a chance to make new connections and roam new areas. I had been less worried about my school work as i had thought i would have it packed down and ready for the surface.

"It certainly is wonderful to see new faces but i hope it is equally as wonderful that everyone completed there summer essay as it is a key necessity to get a good start in the year."

Everyone went digging for this assignment he assigned us. In my opinion the essay was rather easy, stating the simple joy the art of food gives me. Talking about the history of food and the ingredients needed to make a certain dish pop. I had no trouble with the assignment but i did have a problem locating where it was placed in my backpack.

A set of panic was forming in my chest. I always hated that feeling but it rarely comes around as i normally have things prepared. I was seemingly expecting the same thing to always happen but the feeling of dread only engulfed my being. I began frantically looking for what I was longing for no longer having the need to patiently look as my professor was making his way up the isle rather quickly.

I began rummaging through out every inch of my book bag before i heard the small clearing of a throat signalling for me to met the bored eyes of our professor. I had removed my hands rather slowly away from my bag remaining eye contact as i was afraid at what may lay if if i dropped the sudden eye contact. My eyes slowly detached from his as i took in his strong posture seemingly intimidating as well. His arms laid crossed as if he was bored with the simple thought of me and my first impression I had been making for myself.

"Well, Ms. I presume you don't have your basic necessities for the first day of class. Seeing as you don't even have the first day essentials i suggest you leave my class before you make a fool of yourself."

He had certainly been blunt making me cower back in slight fear. I tried not to show that emotion as much as he seemed to feed into that only proving his point more. I wasn't suited for a class where he would judge off of my simple movement and my trying efforts. I truly did want a future for myself but his cold state was sure to make things feature more intense. I proceeded to grab my bag slowly making myself get up hearing the squeak of the chair run against the marble floor making me cringe.

It had been eagerly silent as i was on my going exit to the door before a longing voice broke the silence. Behind the professors cold eyes held a black haired boy behind him, the same boy I had observed with the coffee cup and iconic words following along with it. He didn't even clear his throat as he stood up and stated bits from his mind not afraid as I was.

"Are you seriously going to do such a thing from impulse. You arent supposed to give up on a student especially on the first day, you are supposed to push the student into excelling. You clearly got your bullshit degree from your ass as you go off things from the top of your mind rather than thinking them out like a logical person. So what she forgot a project that was assigned weeks back the point is that she worked hard on that as you can tell from the anxiety hurdling from her body. Let her show you what she can prove and not just kick her out leaving a longing impression like this. You dick."

Talking about his bullshit degree and him being a dick had certainly been the icing on the cake setting it all in. He was surely brave enough to state his opinion freely something i had admired right off the bat besides his attractive appearance. The professor seemed stunned by his words but tried to keep his cool as he was in charge of this whole operation. He still held a fuming exterior as the male keep his stance not afraid on what the professors input had entailed.

"Well mr. Min thank you for putting in your opinion but it surely isnt needed. Since you want to take the opposing side why dont you and ms. L/N please direct yourselves from my class room. Im sure the both of you wont be successful in life anyway as you are choosing this path."

The person who i presumed was Min smiled sarcastically wanting to seem more powerful then him as he grabbed a hold of my hand and exited the classroom. He held onto my hand firmly marching making sure to hold eye contact with the professor. As we left the room I stood in the hallway not knowing what was coming next till it hit me. He practically lost his position in this class just for my sake. Ultimately i felt like utter shit.

"You know you didnt have to do that, you know stick up for me. You didnt have to just leave that class because of that."

He had already began walking to where ever his destination held before he turned back to take in my speaking thoughts. He walked to where I was rather slowly still sporting a bored expression on his face. i hadnt known if that was permanently engrossed on his face but i took it as it was. He still held an attractive face as he had sharp facial features. I focused in on these details as he began talking.

"I know, its just something i chose to do. He was acting like a dip shit and frankly I didnt even want to join that dumb ass class. History of food isnt a topic im very well interested in, just needed an extra class is all."

He nodded off with his answer not thinking anything of it however as he finished i realized what had been done. he might have not liked the class but that class was sure enough to make a career at what i found a passion in. I had realized that this big impact that I had made had determined my whole future. It had been the first official day of college and i was already setting myself up for failure.

"Oh my fucking shit, this whole situation is fucked. Im going to become a bum at the age of twenty-one."

I had been running my fingers through my hair as Min had been looking at me curiously before he examined his cup that laid in his hand. He still held the same expression on his face as he directed the cup in my preferable vision signaling me to grab a hold of it, which i did hesitantly. I examined the cup before putting it against my lips.

"You definitely need that more than me."

I felt the energy drink disguised in a coffee cup slide down my throat. I had been taken back at the taste expecting it to be another substance but still took it as i needed the offer. As I handed the cup back to him he put his arm around my shoulder bringing us closer as we walked down the hallway together.

"If you keep sticking around me ill promise you energy drinks and friendship."

It seemed like an offer i most definitely couldn't refuse. I had been seeking for such thing for so long and for it to commence so easily and he certainly held up to his promise.

Since then the person who i now address as Min Yoongi had been the one to stick by my side till the end of our college days. We never made any other friends as we felt that having each other was merely enough. After school I would help him with his music and cook him cheap foods i found in the 'great value' section. We had been feeding passion to each other yet even after college we had no idea how to presume this. None of the less we chose to stick together and not question what might happen in the future as we had each other.

There were certain hard ships but in the end we always ended up by each others side even as graduation approached. We stood in the big crowd conjoined together as even after graduation we managed to stay together.

We were young adults not knowing where our path of life would take us. We settled for a cheap apartment that held a window view of brick walls and a single bed with limited space. I remember the first night being the most exciting as it was our first time together on our own home. Yoongi was anything but excited as he eyed the TV with a bored stare awaiting for my dish to be finished.

I had managed to cook up a cheap but exquisite dish as i sat it on the coffee table with a wide smile as Yoongis eyes went wide as well. He looked confused by the dish displayed in front of him deciding if he should eat it willingly or push it to the side. My eyes met his with a slight of worry wondering if the food was questionable itself. I had been fresh out of college with a culinary degree yet not processing any information i learned from my classes. I definitely could use some practice but as of now the exhibit in front of us would have to due.

I sat down on the coach picking up one of the plates as Yoongi still let his lay cold and full on the table. I held my plate in my hand awaiting for him to take a bite but he just stared at me with blank eyes. It surely was making me feel insecure about what i prepared making me slightly pout. I knew this action would make Yoongi feel some what guilty which was fairly rare but he still manged to huff and grab a hold of the plate.

I waited for Yoongi to take the first bite as the savory flavor hit his mouth. I took notice of his face as his lips wrinkled before turning to me with a soft smile nodding his head at the quality.  turned back to my food praising myself for my efforts before my taste buds engulfed the flavor of the stale food. I spit it out rather quickly turning to Yoongi who mirrored my actions.

"Thank god you spit that out, Cooking isnt for all of us."

I took Yoongis words in accepting that fact that my cooking was certainly below average. I definitely praised him for even holding the food in his mouth as for the first bite i nearly vomited from the displeasing taste. I still held a sad exterior as i was met with realization of my efforts. I had expected to much of myself and thought i could do things when i certainly couldn't. The professor was most likley right about me, i couldnt make it anywhere in life due to my efforts.

"Hey dont let it get to you, we can just order pizza."

I nodded slightly still feeling depressed about the whole ordeal. Yoongi slowly put his hand on my back rubbing slowly. Yoongi was always awkward in these situations not knowing how to take in my sadness and how to enhance it to happiness, however him just being there for slight support made things ever more better.

"Im sorry if i was harsh on your cooking you know how weird i am about expressing stuff. Please dont be sad or mad or any of this pointless shit, youre still my lil chef."

I smiled at the nickname Yoongi conjured up as i thought back to the memory. We had been laying in my dorm room watching Ratatouille when the red headed chef addressed the rat as little chef. I rolled my eyes as he began laughing his breathe away at has terrible joke comparing us due to our small interest.

"Come on that was funny."

"We must have different senses of humor because im not impressed by that comment."

"Whatever im a fucking genius."

Yoongi groaned putting the covers over his face grumbling about how hes Superior and other things that didn't add up.

I smiled at the memory looking at Yoongi dialing the number to the nearest pizza place. I focused on the pout that formed on his lips as he managed to say through out every sentence as the permanent pout was displayed on his face. It shook me on how his interior remind tough and sluggish sporting every honestly brutal opinion he could muster while his exterior displayed of a small fragile kitten. Min Yoongi was my best friend and i knew certain things he didnt know about himself or certain things he didnt want to accept. I hadnt known what i would do if a time would come if he wasnt apart of my future anymore. It was always us in any problem even when one of us managed to conjure it up.

"What the hell is wrong with you, were getting pizza so the taste of your sad food should drown your sorrows."

Yoongi smirked as he grabbed the remote changing the channel to the kids network. I shoved him slight getting up to scarp the food i had attempted to prepare. I held both of the plates in my hand as Min Yoongi watched me walk off to dispose of them before i made my way back into the living room with a comment back.

"You're the reason why my food taste like shit."

Yoongi snapped his head facing in my direction from my comment . He looked slightly offended as the cooking truly was terrible and him begin the key reason for it didn't make it any better. I knew he wouldnt do anything Jurassic about it besides saying a few comments back. He wouldnt go the extreme measure of actually wasting his energy and putting his time into getting me back. He did however deliberately use this to his advantage as he through a pillow.

Yoongi began snickering at his success as i used it to my advantage to through the Pillow right back at him. His face complexly shifted to a cold stare watching as i was now the one laughing. I clutched on my stomach as he huffed in the background while i sat down next to him giving a sarcastic smile. He still keep on his stone cold face bored by the whole thing not finding it entertaining in the slightest.

"Your lucky I cant get up or else you would have expressed the pain brought to you by Min yoongi."

"Oh no not that."

"I fucking hate it here."

Yoongi only huffed and groaned even more for me not taking notice of his so called genius and opinion. I knew his comment hadn't been real as he was only joking in a strange manor however this was his thing. Switching up how he actually felt. I knew he liked living with me and the small bickering conversations that were held inside of our cheap home. I secretly knew how much he loved every bit of it as did too. Even though he boiled my blood to the point of death he always revived me to the complete point of it being all over.

"I swear on my fucking life if you keep on talking about this bullshit interview im going to jump out of that damn window."

Yoongi and I had been sharing the bed we purchased but I was using it for everything else but sleep. I was anxious as to what was to come of the morning.I  was upholding a new job and was going in for an interview. It had been something i was looking forward to but also terrified of doing so. I knew it would offer me grateful opportunities but i wasn't confident enough to take them into my hands. All these thoughts were flooding my mind and i had the need to express them to someone preferable to the person sleeping conventionally placed next to me.

"But the Window has no view, there for youll only get a face full of brick."

"Ill take my chances if that means i wont have to finish this conversation."

I huffed ruffling my hair making a pout form on my lips. I truly was stressed about the whole ordeal and questioning why I even managed to hand myself this position that i seemed eager for at the time. I was confusing myself and what i wanted only making my head swirl, resulting in things for me to do.

"I think Im just going to not go at all."

The midnight air had enhanced everything as i came to my conclusion. Even as the dark atmosphere filled our room  could still see the shocked expression displayed on his face. I hadnt known on why he was so surprised. He wasnt fond of the topic which i understood as it was late but he never showed such interest any other time. It added to the other ideas roaming around my head making the stress increase more. In senescence i shouldn't have been stressing over this as he was finally showing the slightest bit of interest and was going to share his honest opinion. I knew his opinion always held the truth as he saw nothing wrong with his truth.

"Oh you are most certainly going to be attending this interview. I did not just waste a good amount of my sleep to listen to you go on about this damn interview. There are somethings in life that we dont want to do but we have to go through it to open new opportunists. Once the darkness comes in the light will slowly consume you over time. Just please go through with it."

I smiled softly at is input. Rather he knew it or not i surely did help me and impacted my conquest in a positive light. It was times like this when i appreciated him most and pushed the times i questioned our friendship to the far back of my mind. He really was by my side in ever situation possible and was there to attempt to make the broken remade. He made the sadness slowly transform into a lighter tone. I appreciated him but thoughts still consumed my mind as i couldnt make use of them even after Yoongis helpful statement.

"But what abo-"

I was silenced by a pillow colliding with my face. This action instantly shut me up and furthered anymore of my speech. Min yoongi left the pillow on my face as he curled up and attempted his well needed sleep. I pushed the pillow off of my head holding a bored expression on my face not fond of his previous action. I knew i had been talking excessively but I still didnt deserve a pillow to the face as it wasnt needed. With all the problems still swimming along in my head I began to twist in the bed. I wasnt able to say anything to make things harder than they once were. I couldnt keep still as every bad thing consumed me before i felt Yoongis arm sweep my mid section and places me on his chest as i cuddle up to him.

"You need to stop letting the thoughts get to you. You'll do more than fine you'll do amazing and if they didnt take you then they passed up an opportunity of a lifetime. Therefore you wont have to worry about anything as you have no need to worry about something that wont happen. now please can we get some sleep its a key necessity that i get this done in my daily life."

Strangely enough i agreed to his comment. Cuddling against his chest as the cotton rested against my cheek making me drift off into a state of oblivion. His hand had rubbed my lower back tracing small unknown patterns. He hummed a soft tune falling into utter bliss as i followed soon after. I hadnt had the worry or doubt in my head as i felt comforted by the situation of him being in my presence.

I had woken up rather early as the thoughts came back only managed to commence back into my inner thoughts. I slowly attempted to remove myself from Yoongi trying not to wake him as his sleep was a force to be reckoned with. I had already created the anger from last night as I keep him up more than usual due to my mind. I hadnt intended to due so but it so majestically happened to make an appearance. I teared myself away from him as i made my way to the closet unfolding the nicest dress shirt along with a skirt to make myself seem semi professional. I huffed looking at myself in the mirror taking in my appearance before i notice Yoongis curled up body in the background. I turn my head to gaze upon him smiling lightly as the reassuring words referenced my mind.

"What are you doing up so early?"

I meet the gaze of Yoongis slightly opened eyes and parted lips struggling to make sense. His ruffled bed head had been messily laying on the pillow along with his lower half jumbled up in the covers.

"im gonna make us some breakfeast."

"Really? It looks as if your checking out my beauty."

Yoongi smirked at his comment running his fingers through his hair tiredly. I rolled my eyes at his cocky behavior but couldn't stray away from it as he was slightly true. In assent i was minding my business taking in my appearance when i noticed his in the corner of my mirror. I couldn't help but take notice at his cozy up with his longing blanket. His face laid uflushed as he was drifted in a warmness of sleep but as of now his face lied with a smirk ruining his sleepy state.

"Min Yoongi you make me wanna become a lesbian."

"Glad i make you feel that way, wake me up when breakfast is finished."

Min yoongi grabbed the covers that once lied at his lower half up to his upper to the point of covering his whole head. His body had been consumed by the covers and he took advantage of the bed while he had it all for himself. I left him alone with his sleep as i prepared a bowl of cereal. We had been low on groceries as we had little to no food and only enough cereal for one bowl. It appeared that Yoongi would only have his daily energy drink in a coffee cup.

I placed the finished product on the table taking a seat on the stiff couch and turing on the TV. The TV had still been programmed on the child network and it seemed slightly interesting. it surely was pointless but yet still managed to grab my attention into a clouded fog. I had been so drawn into the TV that i didnt notice Yoongi walk sluggishly with the blanket wrapped around him till the coach sunk along with him.

I hadnt paid him any mind as i crossed my legs on the couch and proceeded to eat the cereal with the bowl placed firmly in my hand. Yoongi seemed uninterested in the show as he reached for the remote rather than his coffee cup. This action made me let out a small squeak in protest making his look at me with a questioned expression. I had been confused on why he wanted to change the channel as watching cartoons had been a natural thing for us however as of now he had other interest.

"I thought you loved watching cartoons with me?"

"I do but this show is plain stupid, seriously why would a dragon win in a fight against Godzilla?"

I turned my head in disgust at his perception of the show. It was a fairly good show for children of all ages but mostly some below my age. Due to my age i had gained enough common sense in life and this excellent show, just enough sense to realize a dragon would in fact win in a fight. It often saddened me that Yoongi didnt get certain concepts and this begin one of them. Almost anyone who had sprouted a brain would understand that a Dragon could easily win in such fight. Yoongi needed to be educated on this and i was more than glad to tell him as i sat my bowl down on the table and turned my body to Yoongis as he did the same.

"Yoongi, honey i get that your education isnt at its prime right now but please gather all the skills you can. This damn Dragon can fly spout fire all while choke him with his damn spiky tail. Now that you've gathered that use your context clues and understand that Godzilla has no chance."

I finished my statement proudly believing every word of it as i was right. In theory a dragon would have a semi chance in a fight in any animal that came in its way. I sat proudly at my observation while Yoongi was slouched with his mouth gaped with slightly closed eyes taking what i said in. I knew he had something to say back but with his brain in the just awakened mood he wouldn't have much energy to fight back on me with this. He hadn't even took a worthy sip of his daily energy drink meaning he defiantly had nothing to offer besides a soft grumble.

"Dragons arent even real."

"Neither is Godzilla, Yoongi."

"Fuck you, you know my genius gets effected in the morning."

Yoongi slightly pushed me signalling that he wanted the conversation to come to an end. As he pushed me the milk from my cereal had gotten onto my shirt making the shirt dirty and see through. I grumbled as i smelled the milk reddened shirt and sent daggers to Yoongi who displayed a gummy smile attempting to make things better. The gum of his smile had been poking out profoundly making the situation less terrible. I had won the conversation we were on about earlier giving me the advantage but that still didn't fix my milked shirt.

"Yoongi can you go get a dress shirt from your dresser or my dragon will light your ass into flames."

"Oh please my Godzilla will literally stomp you to death."

Yet Yoongi still managed to get up with a sigh sluggishly walking. I had usually borrowed his shirts on occasion. They weren't far off from my size only being one up. It certainly did make things more conventional and more manageable. It was a plus as the clothes resembled of his cologne. It was a joyous smell that engulfed my nose making me feel a slight fuzzy feeling in my heart. It hadnt been what we describe as falling for someone but rather knowing that you have the one person who makes you feel better be around you the whole day. Yoongi was always blunt and honest but that was the best kind of way into telling someone the truth. That was one of the ways i was so drawn into him, as he faced his opinion and stood up for me. I always managed to think back to that day when we are in our slightest situations like these. He was always going to push through rather it be telling his opinion for me in a big crowd or letting me borrow one of his shirts. I could always count on my best friend.

Yoongi entered back in the room with a plain button up shirt. He directed in my direction motioning that i still had on my milk shirt. I gestured for him to leave the room but he didnt get the hint as he stood there clueless with the buttoned shirt displayed in his hands.

"You can leave now, dont want you seeing my boobs."

"Are you fucking serious, weve been friends for years I promise i wont get a boner at the sight of your chest in a bra sack."

I rolled my eyes slowly taking off my shirt. For the amount of times we had been friends he had surprisingly never seen me naked as have I. This made things even more intimate as silence covered our atmosphere and his eyes directed to my clothed breast. I hadnt known what to do as i held my stance while he still held the button up shirt in his hands. I cleared my throat signifying that he could hand me the shirt which he did snapping out of his presences returning back to his unmentioned stare.

I began in attempt to button the buttons displayed on failing before i felt Yoongis cold hands take my place. He had a slight change in expression almost as if he had cared about something, affection. The state scared me as it brought by him, he never showed an ounce of expression besides disgust or nothing at all. This had been new but it was certainly something to get use to. His hands had been slowly been approaching my breast as his breathe began to grow agitated. Im sure it had been a long time since Yoongi had felt the longing touch of the opposite sex.

"Thats a nice bra, really makes your boobs look fantastic."

"Yoongi i swear-"

"What your gonna get your damn dragon on me again?"

I laughed at his comment as it brought light to the atmosphere, something that i needed. The thought of the interview had resurface into my head yet again floating around with bad possibilities. I couldnt help but fiddled with my fingers giving the obvious fidget a warning to Yoongi. His fingers had finished buttoning as he tucked in my shirt and fixed my collar. I had avoided eye contacting hoping that he wouldn't notice my nerves but it was Yoongi we were talking about. He mastered every aspect of me and how it was constructed. He could point out anything remotely wrong with me and this was one of those moments.

His hands slowly made  there way to my cheek making my eyes divert to his. His eyes read the affection that held a few minutes ago. This was a truly rare sight. Yoongi was rarely being genuine as he didnt like showing his true feelings to people, even being his best friend he managed to hide this from me. He went to these lengths to reassure me that things would be okay, risking his ego for me. It was a genuine thing wither he wanted to admit it or not. He did cared about people even when he didnt want to let that be known.

"I knew you may be in a struggle but i want you to know whatever happens ill be by your side. I know they will hire you or else they will surely be missing something valuable and thats there loss. When you get in the interview just keep on telling yourself how good you are for them because you truly are, you are to good for anyone. You deserve so much more than what you give yourself."

His hands had still been placed on my cheeks before he removed on replacing it with a small peck to the cheek. I smiled lightly taking in the moment before it was over. I nodded along to him gathering the information i had just received and made my way out the door giving him a longing hug for reassurance. I didnt need it but it was good enough to be engulfed by his rare aura and use it to its advantage.

The door shut behind me as I made my way down the hall before i heard the door being reopened to be met with Yoongis pale face.

"Oh and by the way that dragon you were on about is nothing compared to Godzilla."

And with that he closed the door with a small smirk and playful facial structure. He surely did make the worst of times turn into the best. Yoongi was right i didnt give myself enough credit but neither did he. People and himself often saw him a a sluggish loner who only cared about his own feelings however it stretched far beyond this. He was sensitive and caring when the time was to come and i always admired those times as he gave me strength from them. Yoongi was truly an amazing person and i wished he gave himself credit for so.

I looked at the door one last time smiling to myself at his behavior. The thoughts roamed my head about what he told me keeping it in the closest parts of my mind keeping it with me as i made my way to the interview.

I had been strolling the cart as Yoongi went on mindlessly about his gig he had later on today. I was touched on my own inner thoughts to his into consideration. Its not that i hadn't cared it was the simple fact that the interview had been playing over and over again demolishing every word that had managed to fall from my mouth. Had the words been to rehearsed or possibly unrehearsed. I had began to judge everything about every aspect of the interview even the smallest bit to my clothing. I had been grateful of Yoongis helping hand but the nagging though in my mind still knocked at my head at any possible excuse.

"Anyway, how did the interview go?"

My head had snapped to Yoongis direction who had mindlessly been walking in front of me as if his question didnt affect me. Of course i hadn't wanted to answer this as i wouldn't even answer this question myself. Well i assume i did have a basic understanding on who the whole ordeal went. In my mind it had gone terrible and i wanted to have nothing to do with the whole topic bu Yoongi gregariously brought it up. I had corrupted myself into making it much worst than it seemed but it already seemed terrible. Why not enhance that feeling i questioned myself. Yoongi and I had both unanswered questions only resulting in me driving myself closer to my insanity. Best bet was to abandon the whole conversation as it only made me think about the whole thing ever more.

"Hows your gig going."

"I already told you thats why i asked somethign about yo- wait were you even listening to what i said before?"

Yoongi already knew the answer to this question unlike his other one. Yoongi was fairly smart with his observations trying to make sure that no one takes notice in his stances and obstructions but luckily for me i did. He already knew i wasnt listening as i had all the weight on my shoulders but he went on to not ask further questions as it would only possibly break me down more. In a conversation where it was revolving around himself but he was rather thinking about my mental actions and state.

As he said his last sentence he hadnt asked anymore about it knowing what would only come from so. He may had pushed my buttons but he never pushed me off the edge. He knew his boundaries and what was acceptable. However I had still bent up anger over the dark themes it caused. I certainly knew that i was being over dramatic but i couldnt help myself to get like this when these situations commenced. I tended to make situations possibly worst by caring this mental emotion into my actions.

We had made our way to the cereal isle as we skimmed the cheapest cereals they could muster. Our favorite had been 'Astro Charms' an off brand 'Lucky Charms'. Yoongi and I had always found joy of making fun of the names they could come up with from the top of there head. They truly were genius people contributing genuine ideas for the cereal productions but atleast try and come up with your own product name. I suppose this was why me and Yoongi found showed joy and funniness out of their attempts.

I skimmed my eyes along the cereal seeking for the specific kind. Of course as i finished my skim they had been on the highest shelf possible. I hadnt been the tallest person ever and neither had Yoongi but he still remained taller than me to reach the farthest product of cereal. I groaned at my attempts to reach the cereal only failing. I tried to retrieve it once last time before placing my hands on my knees as if I had ran a full marathon. Yoongi took notice in my jumps smirking to himself behind his hand.

"You need me to get that for you?"

"How dare you judge the vertically challenged."

Yoongi shrugged to himself with a stifled laugh. He quickly went down the rest of the isle scanning any other food items we may had needed. I had stared down my computation while he did so, trying to find any possible way to retrieve this item from the top shelf without any assistants. The whole ordeal hadnt been playing out in my favor as i tried climbing up the shelfs but stopped mid way as the assumption that i would need Yoongis assistants to get down. Overall whatever plan i demised in my head included him which was basically a cycle in my daily life. Everything included him and I wouldn't even know it. I let out on last defeated sigh and accepted the eager help.

"Yoongi, help me."

Yoongi walked over with his same smirk painted on his face as it was last time but this time more evident and radiating with confidence. He felt needed as he grabbed the box of under rated cereal giving himself a well deserved hand. I noticed him standing on the tips of his toes as he reached the box making me smile to myself that even himself was struggling to get a box of cereal. It made me slightly ravish in victory in some way seeing him struggling in the same requirement as i was.

Yoongi plopped the item into our cart as i continued to stroll it him following by my side. He had been rather close and been faking intimidation for some unknown reason. I could tell as the smirk o his face turned to a more playful one signalling his joking side making me question his next choice of actions and wonder what they held.

"I would be a better astronaut."

It sure as hell was a random conversation starter as he kept his eyes on the 'Astro charms'. Im sure he pictured himself instead of the little space man directed on the box instead.However just because Yoongi thought this didnt mean it was true. What was he on about lately first it had been about Godzilla and now this topic? Obviously i would be a better astronaut then him as i held the better skill set. If Yoongi was in space and suddenly ran into an unknown species surely he would full under pressure and shoot them at any given chance he held. He was certainly unsuited for the task at hand.

"Yoongi, you know i support everything you do and what you want to become but i will gregariously take up that job position in a heartbeat."

"Y/N you both know i can jump higher than you."

"In space there is literally no gravity that shit wont matter."

"Rule fucking one of becoming an astronaut is begin able to jump cool, mostly when on the moon. So just accept it."

I sported a straight smile nagging at him in my head knowing he couldnt handle what i would say. Yoongi patted my back encouragingly trying to seem helpful in a way. I hadnt been overly upset at all just portraying so to make the joke go further and Yoongi knew this too. We always picked on each other with things even the stupidest of conversations. Just the simple conversation striking between us two was enough for us no matter the topic.

"How about this, we both gather all our saving to go to space and roam the moon hell we could probably buy the moon. Just us, together."

Yoongi proceeded to drag his arm along my shoulder bringing us closer. I was taken back by the sudden action as i swerved the cart before his hands steadied it. Suddenly we were both directing the cart lazily together with goofy smiles painted on out faces dreaming as far as our banks could take us, which wasnt as far as we could assume however we choose to live in the moment with one another.

"Get away from earths bullshit and just be with each other."

How lovely the whole aspect surrounding that idea sounded.

Yoongi and I had carried the grocery bags up the stairs heaving at each step we took to our apartment door. I dropped the bags at the front of the door retrieving my keys while an agitated Yoongi laid behind me, I had to make my movements quick. However my movements halted as i say the prominent brick red sign lying on our door. I dropped any other remaining items in my hand replacing it with the item on the door. The tape had been still attached freshly to the top of the paper as i skimmed throughout the whole paper.

"Whats taking so long."

I slowly diverted my eyes behind me looking at Yoongi who had his eyes close and lips quivering at the feeling of his arms about to give up on the heaviness of the bags. I motioned for him to put the bags down as i waved the paper in his face while he opened his eyes. He grasped ahold of the paper reading it in a faint whisper. Overall the paper was bad but it certainly could have been worse. Due to our lack in money and not being able to pay full rent our landlord decided to make the grasious decsion to turn off our warm water leaving us with coldness.

"Well there goes our savings to a trip to the moon."

Yoongi held a small frown at the idea sported only a few minutes ago was now vanishing from reality. It truly did seem like a good idea but certainly wasnt going to be an idea that could be escalated so easily. It was now a figment of our imagination but at least it was shortly lived. We still had each other which was a plus as having him around was certainly enough of an adventure.

"Well atleast we still have running water."

"Yeah but we cant use to much of it, only for a limited amount of time."

"Well i need to take a shower first because of my gig tonight and i dont feel like sweating on the stage with all those hot ass lights."

"But ive been sweating all day because of that damn interview."

"Yeah you have I just didnt want to say anything."

I looked at Yoongi with hooded eyes as he placed his gummy smile over his face making up for his previous statement. He sure was the character but that wasn't helping us with our shower situation and how it would make itself out. We both had to take a shower at this moment as it would satisfy what we needed but the problem was we were running limited on water, leaving on thought in my mind. I turned over to Yoongi who seemed to have mustered the same idea as I but i was quick to shut it down.

"Yoongi I am not taking a shower with you."

"Come on its just to save water nothing sexual."

"Okay but i swear if you pull something."

I let out a sigh as Yoongi rubbed his hands in determination for whatever reason he held. Two naked bodies in a shower together was sure to start an experiment well needed but made me feel uneasy as what it could lead to. We had been best friends for years yet nothing so opened has happened between us and i could tell Yoongi was opened to letting that streak to be broken.

"Yoongi I swear you better remove your dick from my ass right now."

"I cant just take my dick off and re attach it, sorry but it just doesn't work like that."

The beginning of the shower had been going fairly well washing up with soap and ignoring each other awkward glances however as time passed by it increased in strangeness. As we proceeded to shampoo our hair we came up with the brilliant idea to have the other person massage our head and wash out with water. It seemed good at first but know the poking of Yoongis dick seemed to drive things further south. It could have been worst as far as him getting a full on boner but just the feeling of my best friends dick so close to me made me think about certain things.

I tried to ignore the feeling focusing on the messaging has i hummed while his fingers combed throughout my hair. It certainly felt nice to have someone else take up this task besides me. I had began to let our small whimpers as the pleasure increased. I felt Yoongi stiffen from behind me at my small noises coming from my parted lips. I hadn't taken notice that i was even making theses noises till i felt the familiar object against my thigh being to become slightly upright. I halted my sounds as now the shower was filled with the patter of the water droplets hitting the chipped tub.

I had rinsed the remaining suds in my hair before turning around to now take care of Yoongis hair. However as i turned around he didnt copy my actions. His eyes soon darted down my body as mine did too. It hadnt been intentional it just happened rather quickly something that i couldnt process. My eyes ranked down his body observing every inch it could muster. I was surely flustered after doing so not sure what my next moves should consist of.

"Yoongi why didnt you turn around!"

I was quick to put the blame on him not wanting to come to terms that i was in the wrong as well as him. I did what i was doing best when i didnt want to come to terms to things. It was a bad habit for sure but it worked in situations like so.

"Well neither did you."

Shit he did have a point and I wish he didnt. Better yet his eyes still shamelessly ranked around my dripping body not ashamed of doing so. He was owning up to what he did while I hid behind his words making him eat up mine as well as his. He graciously did it without a care in the world as if it didnt have any consequences.

"You really are beautiful you know. I find it hard to believe that its been this many years and i hadnt been graced with your beauty."

What he was saying was definitely far fetched and seemed as if it all had been over dramatic but Yoongi never said anything along those lines. I hadnt even known why he had ushered those things falling out his lips. Usually he called me gross and rarely complimented me only when bad themes accrued. Never did he trail his hands along my waist let alone my naked waist. This whole thing had been new and taking big steps at something that i never saw coming in our friendship.

"Yoong-"

"Im serious Y/N, whatever happens i just want you to know that i care about you more than i have about anyone else."

It was true as i felt the same way but not to the extant he was talking about. He was in the heat of the moment and i could feel myself being drag in just as he was. It was tempting as it also felt oddly satisfying. I hated the way it made me feel and how it could risk things but I pushed those thoughts away from any of the verbal actions i could communicate.

"Listen Y/N i know were best friends so I wont do anything that your uncomfortable with and i want you to know whatever happens to use it wont change anything."

After his statement it surely sent my mind into overload. Taking up on all the different options that roamed around my full head of possibilities. I however didnt have time to answer as the alarm from the timer ad began ringing. Yoongi whipped away the remaining suds on the sides off my head before rubbing my damp hair with a small reassuring smile. I knew that this would be the last moment to be shared like this as it was there first ever time to actually happen.

Yoongi was always rare on these occations however they began to become more regular. This began to change things in a way that i couldnt put my finger on. I couldnt tell if it was strengthening our relationship or making it fade. Im liked to believe that we would be together through out everything but in certain aspects i wasnt sure of. He made me confused as hell while i stared at him drying himself off with his straight face as if the moment between the two of us never accrued. Thats just how he always portrayed himself. Pretending the moment had never accrued and never bring it up unless he wanted to.

I knew that these thought would only intensify and i would be left wondering if i could continue on with this feeling I didnt know i was capable of having for Yoongi. If i wanted to somehow follow on with this i needed to portray myself as Yoongi did to himself. Act as if nothing was happening and keep on the friendship unless i seeked for something more. Besides it wasnt important as of now. I needed to push my problems away and focus on Yoongi tonight as an important gig was surfing his way. I had no time of giving up on something as of now because it had always been me and Yoongi nothing more and nothing less.

Together we could conquer more the the earth but the entire universe including the well desired moon. No amount of money could change that.

It had been only a couple of more weeks till anything else meaningful had happened. Yoongi and I had been living out our regular days filled with playful arguments and meaningless conversations. In fact the night prier to the shower had been a rather eventful one for the both of us. Yoongi had managed winning first place in the solo musicians cafe night. His face remained stone like and nodding while proclaiming a quick thank you with a short speech. He seemed grateful but very expressionless. As for me i had been waving all of the possible limbs off of my body. I had been rather proud of him and having his talent actually gain notice, i had every right to be proud.Someone my overenthusiastic approach had left people with he idea of me having the title of his girlfriend.

As Yoongi stepped off of the stage and i engulfed him whole he patted my back lightly not sure on how to handle this affection. I could tell he was proud of himself even when he wasnt showing it on the outside. He didnt know how to react at his accomplishment or how to take them as people usually would He was left with an unreadable approach to people who hadn't come into communication with him. People would often call him ungrateful for his reactions not knowing what he a actually experiencing deep inside.

The host of the whole event took a step off of the stage and stood next to me and Yoongi. I tore my eyes away from Yoongis as they traced to the host who held a forced smile. He seemed very strained not as if he was bored wth everything but almost like smiling was his permeate job besides this.

"Suga i certainly can see a bright future and you surely are lucky to have your girlfriend to support you and your creativity."

"Shes actually my best friend."

We often got refereed to being in a relationship on occasion. It wasnt something that surprised us and neither did we take offense to it. We always were in a close proximity with one another giving off the impression but we didnt want to go as far to break that just for peoples perspective of things. This was how regular days went for us. Spending our days together and have people make assumptions. It wasn't very eventful but it was how our life went.

Now as we transformed into the weeks following things began to grow eventful. Not to the point of excitement but much rather to the brink of terrifying. I had been having a rough time at work trying to knock down the basics of each task. Things had been getting difficult and it didn't help the situation as i walked into a dark light apartment. I had been frighten to say the least as I keep on the side lamp on to refrain from the position i was in now. However when i turned on the lamp it didnt cooperate. I stood there for a second trying to find a possibility on why this would happen till it dawned on me. The landlord had turned off our electricity leaving the apartment with a darkened state.

I made my way to the kitchen cabinet to retrieve some handles and light them with the lighter.I placed the materials on the counter. I had only been focused on the task at hand not taking in my surroundings. I hadn't heard the closing off the door as i was to concentrated on lighting the candle till i felt a hand land on my shoulder and a voice.

"Why are the light of-"

I hadnt been focused on who the voice belonged to rather whos hand was attached to my shoulder and what actions would happen next. I only had one main thing on my mind as i grasped a fork in my hand and stabbed the persons hand as they let out a yelp. I quickly lit the candle and turned my attention to the person who was behind me. I positioned the candle in my hand and in there direction to get a clear vision of who the yelp belonged to.

"Ow what the hell Y/N! Did you just stab me with a damn fork."

Of course my mind had transformed Yoongi into a house invader. I quickly apologized trying to make up a good explanation. Of course i didnt have a good logical reason on why well at least not one he would listen to. Atlest his hand hadnt been seriously injured or he would have been seriously angry with me. Instead of shouting any forbidden words he wanted an explanation as to why the lights were out. Luckily that distracted him from the actions that i caused on him. I roughly explained the situation as what I could gather from it.

We had no electricity what so ever. Meaning we had no tv system or no entertainment. We had been living in an age where we depend on technology and now we were stuck without it. I placed the candles in our proximity. Yoongi had gone on a venture to find an entertainment system while i had been in charge of sitting on the floor making sure the candles didnt blow out. What a difficult task I had

Yoongi came back retrieving monopoly and a bottle of alcohol. I hadnt even known that we held those items but Yoongi managed to find them without hesitation. He placed these items on the floor in front of me as he sat across. He look at the bottle before placing it on the floor as well. We opened the box and placed the board down looking at the different colors of cards and various items. The figures were laied out across the board as i went to reach for the skate board one Yoongis hand did as well.

"Get your hands off my skate board."

"Your skateboard? Yoongi, you dont even know how to skateboard."

"That doesnt mean shit and i was the one the one who found this damn game."

"Fine."

I tossed him the small silver skateboard as he caught it with victory. I settled for a dog already excepting my disastrous fail. Yoongis eyes dotted to another figurine as he dropped the skateboard and replaced it with a tiny silver piano. He placed it on his knee and began fake playing the tiny instrument in his hand. It hadn't projected any noise as it surely was fake but Yoongi seemed like he took a few sips of the alcoholic beverage before retrieving it back. He seemingly enjoyed himself as he was pretending to play until his mouth parted and he began to spout lyrics from his agape mouth.

Yoongi had always played me bits of his sound and it seemed like this was own of his well written songs. This had to be a newly written one as it still had small errors or possibly he was to drunk to correct them in the very moment. However I still took in every word he said and memorizing it as if it was going to evaporate from my mind. No instruments had been playing yet he still manged t make it seem meaningful with just his voice.

Yoongi took a swig of the beverage after finishing such a performance. He hadnt thought anything of it as he was to intoxicated to actually take notice. I had wished he would give himself a certain amount of credit no matter the situation.

"Yoongi, that was really good."

"They dont call me Min genius for nothing."

He offered me a playful wink on tat i couldn't resist to laugh at. Maybe i had been over thinking everything and i needed to relax and not focus on things that didn't involve my input. I reached my arm out and took the bottle from Yoongi and replaced my broken words with the nap of the bottle. I felt the sting of the liquor hit the back of my throat as i coughed violently.The rest of the game had been filled with boastful laughing and liquor staggered breath filling the area.

I moved my figure lazily over the square before exclaiming what it said.

"Yoongi looks like you owe me your house."

"Your a damn cheater their is no way im giving my house to a dog."

He directed his attention to the dog figurine on the board. He lifted it up testing his theory proving him wrong. He let out a groan saying how this whole game was testing his patients. Due to the alcohol in my system i let out a small laugh and a small smile managed to crack from him. We both had the liquor coursing through our veins as nothing really mattered as of now.

"We should get a dog."

"Yoongi were broke."

"Oh we could name him Min Holly. Oh Min Holly."

Yoongi placed his hand on his heart dramatically while laying down on the floor. I laughed feeling the alcohol bubbling inside of me before we banned the game and settled on conversion. However we still remained quit soaking up the comfort in each other. We didn't focus on the bad themes of what was going on as they were surrounding us. We had millions of reasons to be stressed out but instead of worrying about these so called things we pushed them to the side and took in each other.

"You know i wrote that song about you."

"What?"

It was as if the alcohol that once lurked my system vanished completely. My once care free mind begin to move to assumption. I had an idea of the song being directed to an object rather than an actual person. It seemed weird to refer to it like that but it was an assumption that i corrupted.

"Yeah, I titled it first love out of respect to you. Certain aspects arent about you as i had multiple first loves but your the only person Ive grown an attachment to."

I could tell the alcohol had left his system as he began to speak his mind. Not completely all of it as he wouldnt actually let himself admit to something like this. He was slowly beginning to admit things more even when he didn't need to. He still didn't say everything on his mind as he saw that it wasnt needed. He would rather be alone with those thoughts even when he had me he didnt tell me certain things.He was feeling comfortable enough to actual to come to terms with this himself enough to tell me.

"What does that mean?"

I had fully known what he was hinting at but didnt want to come to terms with so. I had been struggling myself with this whole situation. I had always liked Yoongi but seeing the girls come in and out his life. It had damaged me in a way. I had always knew that i was one of the main parts of his life but just the sight of seeing him with someone else made things ever so difficult. I had always wanted to be in this position of me and Yoongi having an actual chance at something more than a friendship but as of now i had no idea what to make of it.

"It means I wrote you a song."

Yoongi had positioned himself as his elbows held him up. This way i could see his face more clearly as the candles lit across his face. His brown eyes sparkled as the flame danced across his iris. It certainly set me back to the time where i was just discovering myself becoming fond of him and his personality. I had felt something for him I couldn't feel with someone else so i asked myself why i felt so hesitant about the whole situation.

I reached my hand out for his as i engulfed his palm. I had ran my thumb across his as his eyes were glued to the small amount of affection. He never showed a sign of it unless on hard times did I as it was a strange aspect of our friendship. This however didnt mean that we never had a liking for each other we just remained more closed off to the idea. As now things were changing and maybe change was proved as a good thing.

My eyes flickered to his as his still stared at our interlocked hands. I carefully took my free hand to be placed against his jaw bringing his eyes to met mine. I took note in his appearance from the slight part in his lips to the mess black hair that laid atop of his head. I could smell the aroma of liquor still lingering from his breathe as my lips grew closer to his. The amount of space between our parted lips had been smaller then a thin string but we still didn't connect. I hadn't know what i was waiting for till I felt Yoongi lips meet mine and falling into a trance. Our lips had molded together perfectly after a longed wait. It felt longed waited after many years. Surprisingly we had never gone as far as hugging not even the most intimate of glances. We had tried to always seen each other as nothing more than friends until this very moment.

I pulled my lips away first opening my eyes lazily awaiting for Yoongi to do the same. As he did a small smile formed upon his lips but he tried to fight it as he didnt wan to show his soft side. I had found it another reason as why I had began to like him so much He couldnt fight what he felt and there were some moments where this emotion took him over so much to the point of actually showing what he felt out in the open. Of course he didnt want other people to witness this but i did. I was the reason why.

"Thank you, for writing the song for me."

Yoongi had nodded his head his eyes focused on something else. He had been concentrating on what i was saying as he lifted himself from his previous position to on his knees. He stood taller than me as his hands cupped my jaw taking in every aspect as i did him. He was feeling everything I did but this time he didnt take like as I did. His lips molded against mine yet again and was savoring each minute.

His tongue had graced upon my lips asking for entrance as i eagerly excepted. His hands that once cupped my jaw made there way down my body till they landed on the back of my thighs. He slowly used his strength to lift himself and me off of the floor. His hands had stayed firmly on my thighs as he walked to ur shared bedroom to put it to use.

My head hit the softened pillow as his warm lips still managed to collide with mine. My mind had been filled with carelessness yet again. Only few moments did i have nothing roaming around my head and he was able to unlock this. Nothing about what was to occur after this and how it would affect things. I was focused on now and what would come from it.

His hands traced along my shirt specifically the hem of my top. I knew his mind was ranking his abilities on how he could managed to take my top off without seeming overly cocky. I admired that he seemed like he was over thinking things judging his every movements but i wanted to make him feel as comfortable as possible.

I pushed him off of me slightly so we were both sitting up. I proceeded to grasp the hem of my top in my hands as Yoongis eyes followed my hands. His breathe had become slightly uneven at the sight. Things seemed to become more intense as the both of us hadn't been sexually active in quiet awhile. It certainly was riveting to be back in the state but even more better as I was sharing it with Yoongi.

I took off my shirt taking in his facial expression as he held a blank stare with his mouth slightly agape. I stifled a laugh not wanting him to seemed embarrassed. I had enjoyed seeing him in such a state and wanted to see how intense things could really get if i went the extra mile. I then proceeded to unclasp my bra making his eyes not break contact with my chest. Yoongi slightly mumbled if he could mantled my breast. I nodded along that it was okay to do so.

His lips clasped around the bud of my nipple. I cradled his head as he went on his assault on  my nipple. I moaned at the feeling ruffling my fingers through his hair needing something to grasp onto as i was experiencing such pleasure. His other hand grasped my other breast making sure to include it as well. His lips slowly made its way to my collar bone to my neck and up until they connected with my lips yet again.

My hands sorted its away around his shirt. I gripped it tightly signalling for him to take off his shirt next. Yoongi obeyed taking off his shirt quickly before coming back into the kiss. Yoongi leaned into the kiss resulting in me falling back down onto the bed. He wrapped his hands around my thighs directing them around his waist before his hands deepened down into my pants. I felt the slight chill while he did so. I felt my stomach dip at the feeling causing a small whimper to leave my lips. He took this as encouragement as he unbuttoned my pants and stuck his hands into my underwear all while kissing me.

"Fuck, Yoongi."

He hadnt even entered me yet i was already moaning for him. He was surely heightening up my senses making me hyper sensitive to the whole experience. His fingers dipped into my entrance making me squirm under his touch. I felt myself moaning more at just his fingers but also seeking for something more. I threw my head back at the feeling and also the longing feeling of him being inside of me.

"I love it when you moan my name princess."

The pet name had made me moan louder. I was practically dripping wet and Yoongi could tell easily as his fingers were feeling around for my juices. It seemed that Yoongi was getting his own excitement from this as i felt his cock poking against me. He decided to finally put the situation into action as he managed to take off my pant and underwear as he did the same to himself.

He had lined himself up taking control in the situation but still looked me in the eyes asking if this whole occurrence was okay with me. Overall we had been drunk at first but i was no more and i could certainly tell the same had been with him. The alcohol had been replaced with real feelings and how to act upon them so i nodded asking for him to do what was long waited for.

( PSA: Just because youre fucking Yoongi without a condom in this fan fiction doesnt mean that you shouldnt use a condom in real life AGAIN wrap your willy before it gets to silly!)

He slowly filled his cock with my entrance making us both let out a long waited moan. Yoongi had began to grow aggressive as he felt my walls around him. His grip on my waist had increased making the experience intensify in a good way making me moan louder than before. I couldnt believe that we hadnt done anything remotely like this but i was glad it was getting down as of now.

"I beat all your other boyfriend couldnt fuck you as good as I can."

I had only had one boyfriend in my whole life and Yoongi despised him in a way. I hadnt known why but a hatred had sported for him. He hated how he always held my hand and was affectionate as Yoongi knew him himself couldnt do these actions so easily. However times had changed and i was laying with Yoongi instead of him proving him something.

"Only you can, Yoongi."

"Thats right princess."

Yoongi ad began to go harder due to my response aiming to excel. He had easily already been the best guy i had slept with but just the added endurance made things intensify. I felt my walls clenching around me as i sure Yoongi did as his head went to the crook of my neck growling as he met every thrust before i came undone. I let out a series of moans as he did as well before releasing.

Yoongi turned to his side of the bed not knowing how to end on a good note, He hadnt meant for this to happen and neither did i leaving us with an awkward approach. I knew I liked Yoongi and I didnt want our friendship to be forever ruined due to the bump in the road. I wanted to come to terms with this instead of stray away from it so i decided to muster the courage and speak what was on my mind.

"I like you."

I had been looking at the ceiling taking a quick glance at Yoongis back muscles waiting to see how he would react but he didnt. He didnt move nore did he contribute to what I said. I had destroyed our friendship with the gracious amount of temptations. The thoughts commenced my head yet again setting me into  a saddened state. I had begun to scare myself at any possibilities but all that seemed to hush at the sign of reassurance.

Yoongis hand snaked around my hide section bringing us closer together. I felt him kiss my shoulder slightly smiling as if he had finally made the decision that would impact his life in the greatest.His hands wrapped over mine as if they were the most fragile thing in the world as well as they may slip away from his very hands. I was happy with what was occurring and could tell this feeling would never come to a halt and the words that ushered past his lips only confirmed this feeling.

"I love you too."

I had been anxiously biting my finger nails in anticipation. Yoongi had stood on the same stage yet again but held at a different venue. He had been begin judged on his performance staying on the stage trying to keep a collected exterior while awaiting his win.

Throughout his performance i had been sobbing and cheering him on as he preformed one of his so every loving songs. Tonight had been a special one due to it being'First Love'. The dedication he had mustered into each lyric really opened up his true emotions even to people who he didnt know. My cheers only increased as he made eye contact with me smiling slightly to himself at the accomplishments he was living.

He stood on the stage fiddling with his fingers trying not to make it noticeable but however as they called his name as first winner he couldnt contain his excitement. His mouth let out a squeak noise in shock at the sudden win grabbing ahold of the trophy as tears morphed. Theres was always something about the second win that made things seem more eventful. A sense that you actually made it rather being good for one thing.

The sudden jolt of energy had bolted into my whole being needed to be engulfed by his presences just to test how real everything was. Yoongi held his arms wide open as he took in my request rocking us back and forth while we cried into eachother shoulders. The answer began talking into the microphone but i didnt managed to pick anything up as i was to trapped in Yoongis being.

I pulled away wiping away his tears bringing us in a chaste kiss sealing everything. I looked into his glossy orbs taking into everything from each experience. Yoongi had been my best friend and still remained my best friend. He held an extra title is all rather than just being my best friend. My best friend had managed to make such an impact on my life and others as i look around the cheering people who were seated. It took me back to when our professor told us we wouldn't as succeed in life. I had taken up the offer of my dream job while yoongi had been living his dream. most important we had each other of all. Having another body to share these experiences with was the true key of life. Not the riches that came along with it but spending that time with someone.

Yoongi was my someone. He was my best friend and my boyfriend. Most people dreamed of having let alone one while i surpassed both. I truly was lucky and I needed to remind myself of this everyday as i couldnt believe it. I couldnt tell you exactly how it would end but i wanted to focus on the raw beginning. The beginning of our future and what was to come, I described it as a fiery passion with a burning desire of intensity and as he looked me in the eye i could tell he knew this too. We had been in our young adult years and have experienced the hard struggles of life but it was just the beginning.

And i couldn't wait to make more beginnings with him.

*corny i know*

[sominbiased]

hi!! could you please write smth with sowoo, like for example their first kiss? college au or vampire au (where somin is one) or anything really? thank you

Brigi you’re angel!! Also how about BOTH a college AU and a vampire AU at once ehhh?? 

Honestly? Jiwoo needs to study for her music theory class. 

The only reason she’s decided to come out is because Taehyung, for all his soft looks and awkwardness, is an unstoppable force of nature when he decides to do something and on this particular Friday night checking out the downtown club’s hottest new DJ is what he’s decided to do. Also, breaking into her dorm and demanding she come along right at the moment she was ready for a wonderful night of settling down with her notes, a glass of wine and some good crying. 

“I’m telling you, I need to study” she insists again when both of them are sipping their drinks. The bartender, an abnormally beautiful man who’s clearly an otherworlder, checks out her outfit (thigh high boots, a nice red shirt tucked into her pants and a choker because yeah she doesn’t want to go out but she’s the fashionista and has a reputation to maintain) and gives her a bemused smile. The place is dark and smoky like all otherworlder bars are, with humans and creatures with sharp teeth mingling freely. Taehyung isn’t paying attention to her whining or the dance floor though, his eyes are fixed on the DJ, a tall man intently focused on his work, sweat dripping down his back and revealing all his muscles. 

Jiwoo wacks him on the shoulder. “You brought me here just so you can thirst after someone? You’re the worst. Pay for my drinks” she says dramatically. 

“Technically, the last time you invited me out, it was just so that you could drunk and complain about your crush” says Taehyung without missing a beat. Then he turns around to look at her and oh no, that’s not a good smile. “How’s Somin doing, Jiwoo-yah?” he says. 

Okay, a confession: the reason Jiwoo’s failing music theory class is partly because of this ridiculously beautiful classmate by the name of Jeon Somin who Jiwoo may or may not have a crush on. It’s just hard to concentrate on the professor droning on about the most boring things ever when everyday without fail Somin will show up looking impossibly cute and wave at her from two rows away. They did a group presentation once last semester and Jiwoo, being the awkward fuck she is, accidentally drank out of Somin’s Americano instead of her own when they met up. She told herself it was no big deal (and Somin didn’t seem to mind either) but then later that night she ended up drinking way too much vodka and rambling about Somin’s cute laugh and soft hair and how drinking from the same straw was like, romantic, if you could ignore the fact that it was gross, and also about that one time Somin came to class in sweatpants with her hair in a bun and how soft and girlfriend like she looked, while Taehyung patted her hair and gave her water like the good friend he was. 

She shoves him as retaliation. “Go ask him out” she shoots back, pointing in the direction of the DJ. Taehyung shoves her back. “Go ask your girl out” he says. 

Ask your girl out? She glances in the direction of the DJ stand and does a double take. There, standing next to the DJ with one hand on his shoulder and whispering something in his ear, is Somin herself, dressed in black pants and a crop top. Jiwoo wants to die from the embarrassment but also how hot she looks.  Should abs be legal? She’s already had too much to drink. 

Taehyung gets up, because somehow he has the courage to approach people he likes, and Jiwoo follows him, cursing under her breath when they bump into people on the crowded dance floor. They reach the DJ booth and the DJ-the poster behind him says BM-gives them a friendly smile thats completely at odds with his physique. “Hey. You guys got any requests?” he says. 

“Actually, my friend knows your friend” says Taehyung, and Jiwoo’s going to kill him, he can’t just use Jiwoo’s pathetic crush as a way to get laid thank you very much, except Somin makes eye contact with her and then her heart somersaults out of her chest. 

“Eyyy, you guys should catch up” says BM, motioning to Somin to join them. She does readily, but a little stiffly, and Jiwoo gets nervous. “Is it alright if I see what you have lined up?” says Taehyung to BM (and wait when did that asshole get so smooth?) which effectively shuts them out of the conversation and Somin and Jiwoo end up heading back to the dance floor with a particularly enthusiastic couple making out nearby. 

“I didn’t expect to see you here” says Somin. She looks shy, which is normal for her, but also nervous, like Jiwoo’s frightening her in some way. “You look...really good” she says eyes flickering down Jiwoo’s figure, the nice clothes, the choker. Then she catches Jiwoo staring at her and then immediately looks away, swallowing visibly. 

Something’s wrong. They’re awkward, but not usually this awkward. “Do you come to this club alot?” asks Jiwoo, mostly to make conversation. “Yeah” says Somin brightening up. “The music’s really good, and its one of the few-I mean, yeah I like the place” says Somin, interrupting herself. 

Jiwoo narrows her eyes trying to figure out whats wrong. It sounded like Somin was going to say one of the few otherworlder clubs which was more than fine, but why would that matter to her? Then of course, someone bumps into Somin and Jiwoo reaches out to catch her, which means she suddenly has Somin in her arms and has to act natural about it.  She can already feel herself  burning all over. 

The moving, flashing lights, which are a mixture of magically annoying and just plain annoying, flicker in their direction, and in a split section Jiwoo can see the shape of a fang between Somin’s parted lips, can feel how cool she is to touch. More than that though, they’re so close she can see how Somin’s eyes have dilated, the way she takes in a sharp breath. Oh. 

“You’re a vampire” blurts out Jiwoo, which obviously means Somin immediately pulls away looking embarassed and nervous. “Umm” says Somin. Her fangs are more visible now, Jiwoo can’t believe she missed them before, “I-I usually try to keep that a secret because you know, some people have issues with that and um,-” she breaks out into a nervous chuckle. 

“Oh no, absolutely I can understand, it wasn’t my place to pry-” interrupts Jiwoo, blushing hotly, and putting one hand on the other girls shoulder without thinking. Somin immediately takes another one of those sharp breaths, and licks her lips almost involuntarily and Jiwoo thinks oh again.  

Somin laughs nervously, and a little ruefully. “You’re really cute” she confesses and Jiwoo feels herself blush again. “But y’know” she continues, and Jiwoo gets the sense she’s steeling herself, “being with a vampire is something...not alot of people want so obviously I mean-”

“You think I’m cute?” asks Jiwoo, leaning forward. She can feel her heart beat out of her chest, all the blood rushing to her face. Somin’s breath hitches again. 

“You smell really good too” Somin admits and then immediately a panicked look crosses her face. “I mean-”

“I think you’re really cute too” says Jiwoo. She’s so embarassed, but fuck it, she’s doing this. Somin is so nice and sweet and so hot, Jiwoo’s totally fucking up for some dating. 

Somin takes a second to take that in, and then she smiles big and wide, showing off her fangs, and fuck yeah, Jiwoo might have a thing for this. “Do you-can I kiss you?” Somin asks. 

Like she needed permission. Jiwoo leans forward and Somin meets her halfway, wrapping her arms around Jiwoo’s waist and pulling her closer. Her teeth sink into Jiwoo’s bottom lip, teasing, making her feel tingly all over, and Jiwoo licks into her mouth cautiously. This is the start of something good. Fuck music theory class. 

[tumblunni]

OH MAN HOLY SHIT IM FINALLY GETTING TO READ THE NEXT VOLUME OF SHOULDER-A-COFFIN KURO

man it was really fucking sweet that  bunch of friends the travellers made in earlier chapters helped nurse Kuro back to health after [the spoily bad thing] happened

and I TOTALLY FELL FOR the misdirect in the opening chapter! this series often has out-of-order flashbacks just casually thrown in, so i assumed this was them taking a break from the sad ‘will kuro be okay’ stuff to show us one of her pas adventrues, especially cos she was alone without nijiku and sanju. But NOPE this is her dream while she’s sleeping, and all the people she just helped move on to their next journey are actually all already dead and she was giving them hope for stuff they never really managed to achieve. Like HOLY SHIT when the last person she saw was a glimpse of an actual alive person and then she steps off the train and wakes up?? And you only realize it cos she says ‘But I thought his eyes were getting better’ about the last guy Kuro met, who had that head injury from the war, and its like ‘but he’s right there? why are you saying ‘I was too late’- OH GOD HOLY SHIT’. Like seriously, was he on the way to go home and died on the train and then she was there at the station and had to see it, after she’d waited for him for so long and just AAAAA. And like, if Kuro is briefly visiting the afterlife and having a choice to take the death train because she’s in this paralyzing moment of depression, is that why the lady was there too? Did Kuro accidentally save her from comitting suicide to be with him? Its really fuckin’ good luck that they were able to cross paths in this dreamworld and she could pass on his last words. But also its REALLY DEPRESSING that her telling him to ‘take the train home’ is like.. thats what he was trying to do when he was on the brink of death, and being unable to do it is why he stayed here waiting in this afterlife train station, hoping against hope that he’d somehow be able to actually see his hometown and his girlfriend again, when the only option he had was a far more depressing journey to take. So even though its good that kuro helped him be able to pass on instead of being in pain, but still, would he have actually been able to talk to his girlfriend if he’d waited just a few minutes more??? god this mysterious dream is so confusing and tantalizing aaaaaa it would be a really good way to kill my heart if we actually meet the girlfriend character in the real world later on and see how she’s getting her life back together after his death or if we meet more relatives of the dead folks we saw in that dream

ALSO its really good that Kuro is battling her suicidal inclinations now and actually feeling like she wants to live, because of these lil kids but at the same time its tragic cos she’s still got this deadly plague thats gonna kill her anyway, and its like.. having hope makes it hurt more and OH GOD the line about how she’s decided the new purpose of her journey is to ‘make a new path for them to follow when I’m gone’ she’s decided that instead of having to choose between them and her goal, its just gonna be that if she fails and ends up dying she just wants to have taught them enough to survive on their own afterwards. she could still feel her story was completed if it ends with her having given these kids a new life, even if she never finds out who the witch was or how to stop the curse. OH GOD I CRY SO MUCH FOR THIS WEIRD LITTLE FAMILY

and then OH MAN the mysterious flashback too! that was a good misdirect without even being a twist, sorta?? there’s no big revelation moment and knowing the thing doesnt really change anything, and honestly it makes me feel a bit ‘whoops i should have figured it out straight away’ lol Its a really cool way of delivering a stealth backstory for Sen! Cos we never saw his face in human form before, we kinda were expecting it to continue being shadowed or at least be revealed in some sort of actual reveal scene. but nope, we just get introduced to apparantly some new character who’s a loner prince everyone thinks is a vampire, and then WHOOPS it was sen all along! (also LOL DUDE YOU’LL BE A VAMPIRE IN LIKE FIVE SECONDS, DONT WORRY) And its so obvious in retrospect, we even see that he has a lil girl as his apprentice and he's like ‘just call me sensei, i dont want you to get attatched to me’. But she looks completely different to Kuro so at most I just thought ‘oh it’ll be some sort of analogy or moral to the main story or something’. And then seriously there is NO INSIGHT TO ANYTHING and no explanation of what happened to them or why, its just horribly shocking both to them and the audience. We just get some disconnected cute 4-koma adventures of flashback kuro and sen, revealing a little of how they first met, and then literally kuro just turns around the corner and the panels dissolve into horrifying shadowy hands that tear her apart as she begs sen not to touch her or he’ll be cursed too. AND IT JUST ENDS Like seriously, there wasnt even a STORY to the witch cursing them?? she just appeared in their house one day?? she was fuckin lurking in the library and cursed the first person she made eye contact with???? and sen got dragged into it too cos he was trying to save the poor kid, after all these panels of him being cynical jerk saying he doesn’t care about her, and just.. *SOB*

But actually, I’m wondering why his curse was so much different compared to the formula we’ve seen for every other case of it? its always been this one same disease that makes you rot apart into shadow stuff until you die. Why did he turn into 1000 bats instead? A random theory: maybe he actually did die, and this isn’t really the same curse as kuro’s, this is something that happened to him to save him. The first time we saw the curse in action was from that kid who innocently talked to the witch and wished to use magic too, so maybe it like.. actually is that? Maybe this curse is a literal granting of the wish, maybe this is how she passes on her powers and it just kills people who arent worthy, or something. So i dunno, maybe Kuro has some degree of witch magic locked away deep inside her rotting heart now, and she subconciously used it to save Sen’s life by cursing him with this different curse? that could be A Good Depressing Twist later, cos it could mean that if Kuro gets cured, Sen will die. And I mean, it would explain why Kuro doesnt know she has witch powers, maybe the constant upkeep of maintaining Sen’s spell is taking up all her energy, or something? We never get to see if Mo actually got her wish for magic powers in that terrifying flashback, we just see how she started dying of the shadow plague and then how Kuro found her on the last day of her life and they became friends and then HER LEGS FUCKING FELL OFF AND CRUMBLED INTO DUST AND HER EYE FELL OUT OF HER HEAD and then kuro’s last scrap of optimism died and she decided to carry Mo’s coffin forever out of certainty that the curse would indeed kill her, her quest would fail, and she’d better be prepared for her own funeral And like, when i first read that chapter I thought that this was where Kuro got the curse?? I thought it was contagious from touch or something and by giving Mo a bit of peace on her deathbed she’d picked it up from her. (Though that wouldnt explain why nobody’s ever got infected from interacting with kuro throughout the rest of the story, so it was a bit confusing.) But now we know that apparantly Kuro got the disease way earlier and Mo was just the closest clue she’s ever got to finding the witch again, and a horrible vision of the future that will await her when her curse finishes its course. It makes the whole chapter way more depressing, cos you know the whole time she was suffering from the same disease and she just didnt wanna ruin Mo’s hope that she’d met some cool traveller who was totally gonna go on and live a long life of all the adventures she wanted to have. GODDDD THIS SERIESSSS

and okay seriously THE WORST BIT THAT DESTROYED ME is that we find out the evil witch who did this to both of them is actually the same person as the apaprantly good witch we saw in an earlier chapter who befriended those kids and had a badass retort to the asshole guy and just was really cool?? And its even more depressing if she isnt really evil at all and maybe somehow thinks what she’s doing is helping? she was really innocent in that first chapter and didnt seem to know much about humans. So like.. who did she meet? What did she do? Who taught her something very VERY wrong in the time between that flashback and now? is this just the result of some small shred of her old self left, her wanting to ‘help’ more children...? Cos actually it was kind of a big hint in that chapter, she said ‘i will give you one of my voices’ when she taught that kid how to read as ‘payment’ for him helping her learn what a ‘witch’ is, and that she can be a good one if she wants to. So I mean.. is this just her trying to more literally give part of herself to others to help them, not knowing that it’s hurting them, or maybe being so twisted now that she doesnt even care? ITS SO DEPRESSING! Its funny how I loved and trusted this literal eldritch abomination I saw in this chapter goofily dressing herself up in people clothes and practising pick-up lines, and how terrified I was of what I assumed was a perfectly normal human witch who hurt these poor children. But now its even more depressing if we have this strange nonhuman creature who everyone treated as evil, who was good at heart, who made her first friend, who had so much futrue ahead of her, and then just SOMETHING has happened that sent her down the path of becoming that evil thing everyone said she was in the beginning...

Oh and also i really like the theory I saw that she’s another alchemy experiment of the professor who created Nijiku and Sanju? Cos people call her ‘Hifumi’ and thats a name that can mean a number, same as those two. And it might maybe explain why the professor died in the first place. We just hear him saying he has to finish something before he can allow them out of their cage, and then he never comes back down that staircase ever again, and kuro sees some other empty cage next to his body... Oh and also WHY DONT YOU JUST FUCK ME UP, FINAL CHAPTER IN THIS VOLUME, HOLY SHITTTT It actually fits A LOT with this theory... The last chapter has Sanju accidentally horribly injuring a kitten she was trying to hold, and being terrified because it cant just be stitched together like a toy, or.. well, like herself. We see a flashback of how the twins would break a lot back when they were first created, and the professor would just stitch back Sanju’s one arm that kept rotting off. And they’re like.. kinda terrifyingly eldritch too, more than just simple lil kids who can shapeshift into animals. There was that earlier flashback about how they took a long time to adjust to having physical bodies, and used to phase through walls like ghosts until the professor explained how a cage is supposed to work. Like... only being limited by the laws of reality once they hear them spoken aloud. And apparantly they sat sleeping in those alchemy tubes for a long time and might have even like.. slowly developed into humanoid forms, they might have been some sort of visually terrifying thing in their newborn state. We the audience know that they’re just the same as any other innocent kid in personality, that they’re good kiddos no matter how they were born. But then sometimes we get reminded of their actual origins, and how they’d be potentially VERY dangerous in the wrong hands. And like.. even now we’ve just had a really sad reminder how they can be dangerous even when they’re being raised as normal kids by our kind protagonist, how just forgetting that they lack something that normal humans have can lead to this traumatic experience of one of them killing a small animal and not understanding that it cant be fixed, gAAAAAAHHHH :( Also the associated flashback was REALLY FUCKED UP, holy shit! you see the professor talking about redesigning their next beta with a sense of pain, so they stop accidentally breaking themselves, and apparantly he only managed to finish that modification to nijiku before he died. or, perhaps he only intended to give it to one of them, and is having this creepy detatched view of them where he can think ‘hey I’ll deliberately leave one broken to act as a test case’. that would actually fit a lot with the subtle stuff we know, like how apparantly when they were first born they’d randomly grow and de-grow and fluctuate everything between humanoid and animallike. And he notes how Sanju’s hair always returns to a long length whenever its cut, and just... like, he didnt fix that in her but it seems like Nijiku doesnt have the same problem? Does this mean that he actually did give nijiku a bunch of extra features and not fix mistakes that were hindering sanju, that he’s been doing that from the very beginning? I just thought it was maybe that nijiku never had the same hair problem, but I mean it seems like they started off identical in every other way. God I hope its not gonna be revealed that the prof never loved them at all and he was an abusive dad :(

GAHHH THIS MYSTERIOUS GODDAMN MANGA WITH NO ANSWERS FOR ANYTHING AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[itcowcer]

Subject: Pumpkin Patch

Subject: Pumpkin Patch

Paul Holland paulyh@gmail.net 2:05 AM (6 hours ago) to Mark

Heeeeey Mark!

So I know it's been a while, and I wanted to give you a quick heads-up on what’s going on and why I haven’t sent any drafts in recent history. Let's be real, it’s been months. But I want you to know that I haven't just been laying around over here, and that I do have something planned to give to you. It's just not ready yet. Sorry :( Now I'm not trying to tease you; I've hit a wall. What I do have is a bunch of source materials which (I hope) will prove to you that I'm building something, potentially pretty big, for my next novel. That's Right!!!! I've been researching Mark!!!! Who would've thought I knew how. Anyways, I thought this might tide you over until the rough draft or, at the most, spur you to send some seed money..... ;) You will find the sources in the subsequent attachments to this email. I think they kind of speak for themselves, but if you need me to elaborate on what I'm thinking just shoot me a message and I will give you deets.

Pleasure as always [?]

Paul

Paul Holland paulyh@gmail.net 2:56 AM (5 hours ago) to Mark

Whoops! I forgot to attach the sources in that last message. Oh well, I will take better care to attach them this time. I figure I should go ahead and let you know what's going through my head right now, just so we are on the same page. First off, all of this is real. All of this stuff has apparently occurred or is currently occurring, and I've been able to pick up more bits and pieces the longer I've stayed in town (hence the long turn around). Where am I? I don't particularly want to tell you. For that reason I've redacted some information which might clue you into my whereabouts. I'm sure with a certain amount of cyber- sleuthing you'd be able to pinpoint my location, as some of the major points I just cannot change. However by that point I figure it will be too much work for you anyways. DO NOT COME AFTER ME! This story is too good for me to pass up on. I'm only messaging you as a courtesy, and to let you know that I haven't forgotten the money I owe you. I will hopefully be able to pay you back with this novel's completion.

Now onto content. I found this story, of all places, in the newspaper. Yeah it was this grotesque murder which had all of the city community in a hubbub. It was strange too, like ritualistic and such. I've included the short blurb I found in the newspaper, it should be the 3rd attachment. Of course I saved it. I wasn't sure where to go next with my writing and everyone loves true crime or at least a good murder mystery. Then, in the next week, I saw a couple other odd articles (I have attached them as well). One is a letter of resignation from one of the news paper's journalists, due to some kind of journalist ethical concern. Apparently he hasn’t been heard of since. Like completely disappeared. For some reason I was sure that the initial murder, and the later disappearance were related, though I couldn't figure how.

This forced me to dig a little further and I think what I found is captivating at least. Even if I'm grasping at straws I think it tells a compelling narrative, and might sell. I found a small interview, written by the Journalist that disappeared, in regards to a cultural movement within the city. As it turns out this place has a long history of creepy shit, like underground slave prisons, civil war ghosts, a history of catastrophic fires, train accidents, macabre poets, dilapidated asylums turned apartment complexes, and even a vampire legend. No kidding! The guy is entombed down at this old cemetery that overlooks the river. Well the interview is with a member of this group of artists, all of whom were trying to keep this inherent creepiness a part of the city's culture. Though she went by a code name, as all members of Pumpkin Patch do to remain anonymous (in this case kittykat666(=^.^=). I believed that she was the victim in the murder. Having contacted the victim’s parents, I asked if they knew anything about the group Pumpkin Patch. Only the mother would respond, with an invitation to meet with her. Though the meeting was brief, she gave me a series of her daughter's journal entries, a forwarded set of emails between her and her daughter on the topic, and permission to use these things in publishing my next book, so long as I didn't use her daughter's name.

 The first attachment is the newspaper interview with kittykat666(=^.^=) It describes really well what the group is about, and how it operates, and it shows you where I'm leaning for main characters (the girl and the journalist). I think it introduces everything well. The second is the girl's journal entries (at least the ones I've deemed relevant). All of these pertain to Pumpkin Patch and they really get you to see who this poor girl was and how she got sucked into this whole mess. The next attachment is the first article blurb I found, the one that describes the murder. The fourth attachment is the letter of resignation from the journalist who interviewed “Kat”. I figure I will just forward those emails that the mother sent to me. There aren't many of them, however there is some character building stuff there. You can see the loving family “Kat” and her mother had before. They also show how the two found Pumpkin Patch. Sorry in advance, the mother has no clue of grammar. I have also included one last attachment, which is unnerving and chilling when you understand how the group finds its inspiration. It's a series of screen shots I took from the group’s auction site. Here, they post a bunch of their work for buyers. They had just posted a new auction when I checked out the site page. Pay attention to the groups shared theme in the artwork.

Whew! That was a lot for an email! Let me know what you think! Paul

Paul Holland paulyh@gmail.net 2:59 AM (5 hours ago) to Mark

-_____-

Paul

Attachment 1, Attachment 2, Attachment 3, Attachment 4, Attachment 5 

 Paul Holland paulyh@gmail.net 3:08 AM (5 hours ago) to Mark

Weird. Someone just rang the door bell to my apartment. I went to go check and no one was there. I'm a little unnerved, especially given what I've just sent you (that subject matter which is still fresh in my mind). I'm not entirely sure it's nothing, but realistically it’s probably nothing so I'm going to get these emails to you and then cool off. Here you go,

Paul

forwarded message

From: [************] To: paulyh@gmail.net Cc: Sent: [, * *** **** ::**] Subject: opportunities ;)

Hey Kit Kat i hope everything is going better. i know that finding friends can be rough in college but im sure there are a ton of great clubs over there. Just get off your little butt and look!!!! :p only teasing. Also your father should be put that money back into ur college fund. Evidently he needed to buy his new gal pal a car lol. The man's no good! Either way i will make sure everything is all set, u just worry about school work and meeting people and HAVING FUN!!! Let me know if you need anything, im just a phone call away!!!

Love, Mom

. . .

Resp:opportunities ;)

Thanks Mom. Everything is fine, I was just a little worried because the tuition bill is overdue and it needs to be paid in order for me to sign up for classes next semester. He's buying her a CAR!!!!! SMH! SMDH! But my classes are going well. I actually turned in my first couple of paintings and the professor really liked them. He told me I thought out of the box, already had a unique style, and that I should keep pushing myself. He said that I might run into trouble when we start doing other forms, but that he'd help me if I need it. I thought that the class wouldn't like my work or be weirded out, but all in all I got good responses and helpful critiques. Some people in my class invited me to hangout, idk I might go.

. . .

Resp:resp:opportunities ;)

Oh kitty thats great! im glad your classes are going well. And you should SPEND TIME WITH THOSE CLASSMATES!!! Jeeesh!!! Also i am not sure what SMH stands for. i tried to think but cant. :( i did some looking because i knew u wouldnt and i found a club that you might enjoy. They are artists in the area who have auction events, have group meetings and they seem to do a lot in the area. it might be the kind of thing to set u on an art career, if thats what u want to do. i just happened to hear about them and i looked up their site. A lot of their work looks right up ur alley! There is a submission section on their page, and maybe u can send in some of you drawings? i was surprised by how much they were selling for, and i think a lot of ur work is better. I will send you the link. There called the Pumpkin Patch. Thats kinda cute!

Love ya! Mom

. . .

Resp:resp:resp:opportunities ;)

Yeah I'll look it up and send something in. I'll also try hanging out with my class, I'm not sure what we will be doing. Thank you for everything. Love you Too! P.s. SMH is Shaking My Head.

forwarded message

From: [************] To: paulyh@gmail.net Cc: Sent: [, * *** **** ::**] Subject: Pumpkin Patch

Remember that group you were talking about? Pumpkin Patch. I submitted one of my works and it got accepted. I think you'd remember the one, it had that spider made out of sewing needles and thimbles, strung up in a wire web, the one that I got an award for in school. The group admin sent me an email and wanted to know why I wanted to join the group so I kinda bullshitted an answer and I guess they liked it. I'm supposed to go to a meeting with them, however I have to wear a mask and create an artist name which is kind of weird. I guess they want all the artists to be anonymous even to each other. I told them that that made me uncomfortable, but they assured me that the meeting will be on campus. I'm going to see what it is and drop it if its too sketch. I guess most meetings are online, but bimonthly meetings are in person.

. . .

Resp:Pumpkin Patch

Kit Kat. Idk this sounds a little scary. i wish i had known all that before i sent you the link. Be careful there are a lot of weirdos out there and i dont want u to get hurt. u are a grown women and i hope you will use you best discretion. There is always your classmates, and maybe starting a group with them would be better for you. How did that go with them? I expect you to call me soon.

Be safe, Mom

. . .

Resp:resp:Pumpkin Patch

Please don't freak out but I ended up going to that meeting. It was cool though. We kind of just sat around, discussing what the next theme will be, what scary movies we like that kind of thing. We also planned a little get together at a museum. There are a couple other girls there so I think it's fine. I kind of know one of the people in the group too, although I'm not supposed to. He was actually one of the guys I hung out with last week. He's not in my art class but he is a year above us so everyone knows him. He sort of let it slip that he was in the Pumpkin Patch when we were all hanging out. He assured me that it wasn't going to be weird and that the mask thing was more like a gimmick than anything else, to make the group interesting. That night with my class was fun too, we just sat around a fire pit talking, eating hot dogs, sharing stories. Somebody had a guitar and they all started singing these old songs. They are a good group. I'm going to spend time with them again.

. . .

Resp:resp:resp:Pumpkin Patch

Well im glad that you had a good time. Just remember to be careful, and that u dont have to do anything u dont want to, and CALL YOUR MOTHER. Also im glad you met some nice people. Is there anyone I should be meeting anytime soon? ;)

Please call, I worry Mom

forwarded message

From: [************] To: paulyh@gmail.net Cc: Sent: [, * *** **** ::**] Subject: What's Up!!!

Hello Kathryn? Im not sure if you remember me, however im YOUR MOTHER! What's been going on? u haven't called me in a while. I hope you've started thinking about housing for next year. Dont worry about the price its all being paid for by ur father. Also I see that you have another exhibition thingy coming up with your Pumpkin Patch. Im thinking about coming down and rooting u on, seeing as u failed to mention the last one. What do you think?

. . .

Resp:What's Up!!!

Yeah I've been looking at some places. Some friends and I are thinking about getting an apartment together a little off campus. I will let you know what we find. Also that first exhibition wasn't a big thing, and I didn't think you'd want to miss work for it. This next one's not a big deal either and I'm not even going to be there, we aren't supposed to associate with or present our work in order to retain the whole aura of mystery. We can still check it out if you want, we just can't let anyone know that I'm a collaborating artist. Also I can't tell you which work is mine, sorry. :/ We can go to this nice little french restaurant after. I just went there recently with a close friend of mine, it just might be my favorite place in town now :3. Let me know when you're in the area.

forwarded message

From: [************] To: paulyh@gmail.net Cc: Sent: [, * *** **** ::**] Subject: New Exhibition

Hey Mom, I know that there is another exhibition coming up, however I'd prefer that you didn't come to this one. I had fun last time, it's just that I don't think I'd be comfortable with you being there. Also I've decide to leave the group. I just didn't like where it was going and it didn't feel the same as when we first started. That's part of the reason why this latest exhibition would be no good. Also things are falling through at the apartment so I'm trying to find another one for the rest of the semester. I'll send you the places I've found. So far the rent will only be slightly more expensive. Also my roommates already have someone lined up to sublet so we don't have to worry about paying for two places. I will call you soon, and I love you.

Kat

Mark Gergich mgergich@gmail.net 7:13 AM (1 hour ago) to Paul

Paul,

I just read through everything you’ve emailed me. The forwards, the attachments... everything. Paul Pick up the phone, let me know where you are, I am concerned. I think you may have stumbled onto something that needs to be taken care of by the police. Please Paul. Do not write this book. Don't worry about debts you think you owe me, I'm not worried about that I just want you to come out of this safely without a target on your back. You need to STOP writing this book.

Your friend and publisher, Mark

Paul Holland paulyh@gmail.net 8:06 AM (3 Minutes ago) to Mark

Mark,

He says I can’t.

Paul

[derivatived]

stalkers that never go away

i think its safe to say that we have all had people in our lives that just DONT go away. you have told them or have done things to make them understand that they need to leave you alone. these experiences can happen with literally anyone- strangers, friends, parents, or anybody that crosses your path. most of the time these stalkers, for lack of a better word, just fade away. they get bored, find someone new, or you find a way to avoid them. i wish that was my case.

i have dealt with ending friendships or just growing apart from someone but i did not deal with ending a friendship and having that person turn into a literal stalker until 1.5-2 years ago. this stalking and harassment continues indirectly to this day. let me start from the beginning if youre still interested.

i had become friends with this girl my senior year of high school. our friendship hit off very quickly and obviously we had a great time together, through texts, snapchat, whatever. we went to different universities for two years and maintained this best friendhood throughout those years. we both were unhappy with our schools and our majors so we both decided to transfer to a new school together and become roommates as well as best friends. keep in mind, we told each other everything. we trusted each other.

when we finally moved in together to start our third year of college, i realized that things would be different. i had not realized one of the biggest reasons my friend had chose this school was more so for a guy she had been seeing casually. several months before we moved in, they became official. of course i was happy for her because she was happy. but trust me, this dude was and is a total douche. this guy had also went to our high school and was in our friend group, which is how the two met and rekindled. this guy also took women’s virginities and hung the bloody sheets on his wall and bragged about it, NOT KIDDING. if that isn’t an indicator of poor character, i don’t know what is. but that was several years ago and my friend was happy, so fuck it, whatever.

as we started living together, i realized my best friend became more interested in hanging out with her new boyfriend and his friends. i constantly felt annoyed when we all hung out because she wasnt being herself, she was being someone completely different than the friend i had for years. it was like she needed these stranger’s approval to make her boyfriend happy. if i made an inappropriate joke, which i’m known for, everyone would laugh but my “best friend” would scold me in front of everyone. over a few months, i got really bored with these people. her boyfriend and all of their friends just constantly disrespected women, including me and my friend, but she and everyone else just laughed along with it. i honestly did not appreciate the personalities of my friends boyfriend or his friends and it was lame.

aside from her new lame ass friend group, i was also dealing with my own issues. i had went through a breakup with someone i met online. when i confided in my roommate/friend, she basically shrugged me off. i mean, i was really upset about the whole thing. it took me months to get over that shit. but she shrugged me off and honestly treated me rudely because i was upset about it. it is important to remember, that even though i was annoyed with her and her choice of friends, i still confided her with this secret basically. my online relationship wasnt something i shouted from rooftops and is something i am still embarrassed of 3 years later.

but anyway, our friendship slowly faded. she was more interested in getting drunk with her boyfriend and his friends. i kind of grew out of that stage and i truly did not like the people she was hanging out with. 4 months into living with each other, winter break came and we both went home for a month. keep in mind, we had the same friend group from home. when i got home, i started making plans with everyone that was home. occasionally i invited my roommate but she said no every time except once because she was working. i stopped asking and figured since we know the same people, she can make plans when shes available. i saw her once that month. the texts and snaps we used to have also faded btw.

when we got back to school, she made it a point not to invite me anywhere with her boyfriend or their friends. when i brought it up to her she was just like yeah im not inviting you because you didnt invite me to anything over break. i was seriously like in shock. we had the same friends, she denied me so many times, and she was making this point to not invite me anywhere because of it? but i was just like alright i didnt know you felt that way. we basically dealt with the problem and moved on. but nothing changed and i would say this is where the harassment/stalking began. we eventually stopped talking sometime around march. i had also gotten a boyfriend from a different school and went to visit him a lot. but i stopped saying hi to her and i stopped initiating any contact just to see what would happen. the funny thing was that we didnt speak to each other until may because i stopped starting conversations and putting in effort. imagine not talking to your roommate for 2 months? well, the story gets worse.

but ya know, whatever. i give people chances. i knew we were both taking physics over the summer at our school so i started talking to her again. i also still wanted to be her friend, i did not decide not to be until many months later. anyway, we were both biology majors taking physics. this was a 5 week summer course that went at an advanced rate but the professor was cool and made it super easy- the homework problems were the exam. unfortunately, my friend/roommate dropped the course after the first week. she did super bad on the first exam. i tried to tutor her and i did everything i could as a friend to insist she not drop the course. i was pretty surprised by what happened next. she was just really accusatory towards me (i did very well on the exam bc i studied and love math). she claimed she couldnt take classes with me (we took one before and i did better than her) etc. but if you want the truth, she didnt study for the exam and got drunk at a bar with her boyfriend the night before, thats why she didnt do well. but i digress. she dropped the course and a week later she told me she was changing her major.

now the major change is another thing entirely. this pissed me off to no end because it was like i knew her so well. i knew she wanted a degree in biology.. she switched to pre-pa. and i tried to convince her not to but she kept insisting she could be pre-pa and still go into genetic counseling or a genetics career later (which is what she had always said she wanted to do). but basically she changed her major to pre-pa and i butted out. i am not dissing pre-pa majors. i think thats a good major.. if you want to become a pa.. but she didnt.. so it was a huge mistake.

anyway, summer ends and we actually have a new roommate moving into our apartment for the next two semesters. we had both agreed to this a year ago, ya know, when we were still friends. the guy that moved in was her boyfriends best friend. yeah. so again, this dude was a total douche as well. sexist, jokes about rape, sexual harassment, bla bla. just a complete idiot like her boyfriend. but whatever, I GIVE EVERYONE CHANCES.

he moves in and it was alright at first. but i noticed my best friend just like wanted nothing to do with me anymore, she was literally up this guys ass all fucking day now. she never had time to chill with me during the day but suddenly she has time for this dude. and this goes back to earlier when i said about her being a different person around her boyfriends friends. she just wanted to fit in so badly and have friends. me and her had also gotten into huge argument before he moved in. she had kind of ditched me on my 21st birthday and lied about it. she said she had an exam for a summer class, then ordered a pizza to our house, and left with it to go to her boyfriends place. whatever. we sorted it out kind of but i was really distant.

so at the end of september we got into another huge argument which was honestly it for me. in early september, my roommates had some people over and let someone sleep in my bed. i am still unsure of what happened or who did it, but when i came back from my boyfriends after that weekend, there was blood on my sheets and brand new white comforter. i asked them if someone was in my bed just because i was so confused and they both lied. i didnt tell them about the blood because i honestly was just afraid to know what happened in my room. i washed my sheets and shit then put two locks on both my doors. i had a backdoor that led onto the porch where mail was delivered. but ya know, if youre gonna leave blood stains on peoples shit, ya cant invite yourself into their room anymore. so the locks were on, i left the next weekend. i got a text sometime saturday from my roommate that was like “if you put locks on the doors you need to give a key to both of us” and i was like nah i dont really want people in my room. basically we went back and forth through text and her argument was that my room cant be locked bc its easy access to the porch for mail or just to hangout (no one hung out on that porch ever btw). but i was just like nah walk around. i got back sunday and locks on my doors were removed. there was damage to the windows and doors from them breaking in. 

keep in mind, i had been very nice to this girl considering all of the dumb shit shes said and done to me so far (some of those things are little details i left out but she was basically an asshole to me). unfortunately, i have a temper and when i get pissed off enough, someone is being told. i was so pissed off that she broke in with our other roommate and did something she had no right or reason to do?? why do you need access to my bedroom so badly?? i didnt really care. i went into her room and was like hey, did you go into my room this weekend? and she looked fake confused and said no. and i was like alright well all of the locks are undone and i can see you were in there so why? and she was like no one was in your room but we are allowed to have access to the porch. and i was like no you were in my room, walk around if you want on the porch you never use. and she was like well i had medicine delivered on the porch- AND basically this is when i stopped listening. i remember this conversation because i actually recorded it and made fun of her later with my friends because she tripped and stuttered on her own lies. the argument ended with me lecturing and belittling her for acting like a little kid. we didnt speak after that for a week and a half and she didnt go into my room as far as i know. 

so a week and a half later, the internet bill in my name was due. neither of my roommates paid me on time. they paid in venmo the day it was due or the day after. it honestly started to piss me off bc i was sick of having to ask for it, pay for it myself, and wait for their money to get into my bank account. i put a note on the fridge that was like “pls pay internet or dont use :)”. this was totally passive aggressive and bitchy but c’mon. it was 16 fucking dollars. just pay it on time. i was in lab for  class when i got a bitchy text from my roommate. i honestly dont remember details but it was something “dont act like i dont pay you, no one is trying to scam you, if you dont trust us then address it bla bla” bitch.. you dont pay me on time.. and i did address the issue of you breaking into my room, and i just wrote a note for you to pay the fucking bill you owe? like just pay the money and shut the fuck up? but ya know, i had enough of that shit. i responded to her and told her to pay the bill or dont use it, dont text me again or contact me anymore, i dont want to talk to you or deal with your immature bullshit. blocked. i blocked her number and on all social media. i was done. and if you remember my temper, i wanted to go home and rip into her dumbass. but i didnt.

so that was it. that was the last time i spoke to this girl that was once my best friend. but, we had a lease that wouldnt end until may so i had to stay there. and trust me, i tried to get out of my lease. but the story doesn’t end there.so the guy we lived with, i kept on ok terms with for awhile. i said hi when i saw him and he would always ask me how i was, what i was doing, etc (this is important). and you know, i would be friendly bc i didnt really care about this dude. he was just there to pay rent. one day he announced in the kitchen he was going on a run. he left, and then i heard a buzzing. he left his phone unlocked on the table with our other roommate’s (my ex bff) chat open. i glanced and noticed my name in the text and my heart stopped. i know i shouldnt have done what im about to tell you. it was a total invasion of privacy and it really hurt me to read.

i read their entire conversation as far back as the texts would go. the whole way back to august when he first moved in. EVERY SINGLE TEXT BETWEEN THE TWO WAS ABOUT ME. i cannot emphasize this enough. every single message between these two people from september to october was bitching about me, making fun of my past, making fun of me eating fucking chick fil a once per week, calling my boyfriend a nigger, calling me names, watching what i do and texting each other about it, breaking into my room more to check if i packed my bag to stay at my boyfriends, going through my shit, so much fucking shit it was so fucking crazy. i went through the texts fast and put the phone back. i honestly dont know if it was left there on purpose or not. i never talked to the guy roommate again. when he said hi i said nothing and eventually he stopped. after i read those messages i felt so many things.

i was so fucking pissed that they were talking about me like that. my ex best friend was telling my personal stories about the online dating, she even wished i killed myself. and this dude i barely knew was just going along with it and joining in. it was seriously fucking sick. it was full on stalker. both of them watched everything i fucking did. they went through my things and checked shit not even i would think mattered. it was insane. i was pissed and i honestly felt so violated and unsafe. i felt so helpless too. i couldnt tell them to stop. they wouldnt. i couldnt call the police. it was so indirect and was just texts on someones phone. i felt so horrible i didnt sleep for 2 days. 

there was no more confrontation. the indirect harassment continued into may. i moved out and thought it was over but it wasnt. we went to a relatively small school and a friend told me about this girl in her summer class and asked me if i knew her. when she told me the name of this girl my heart dropped again and instantly i said WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THIS. and she was just like oh shit.. i could have sworn i heard her say your name to this guy in our class and she was telling him about reporting you to the police. i seriously felt sick. i retraced in my mind quickly for anything she could be going to the police about me for? i literally hadnt talked to the girl or done a thing to her since october, thats the honest truth. and i was just like about what?? i was so eager for this girl to tell me the details it was killing me. basically she told this long story about how the girl has been coming to class every day and talking about her ex roommate. appartently this ex roommate stole her debit card and credit cards and was stealing thousands of dollars from her. on top of that, this ex roommate also sexually harassed her several times. the ex roommate was supposedly me. 

i almost laughed when my friend told me this shit. i felt so much relief because these were just stories my ex friend/roommate were making up for attention. but after a few days of thinking i was like fuck thats kind of psychotic. like thats borderline crazy to be telling people openly that someone sexually harassed you and stole your money when both of those stories are made up... like dude. i did nothing to you but ask for bill money lmao. 

i ran out of time but ill continue this shit later. if u read this fucking novel, congrats