#considering i joined in September.. not bad :)

[tea4silver]

I posted 184 times in 2022

That's 184 more posts than 2021!

131 posts created (71%)

53 posts reblogged (29%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@aliens-took-my-iwa-chan

@duckvenger

@suspiciouslyglowingmoss

@alexejs-chaos-corner

@well-maybe-i-feel-stabby

I tagged 143 of my posts in 2022

Only 22% of my posts had no tags

#jekyll and hyde - 97 posts

#the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde - 88 posts

#dr henry jekyll - 64 posts

#mr edward hyde - 64 posts

#au - 54 posts

#an unfortunate case - 45 posts

#the glass scientists - 38 posts

#tgs jekyll - 19 posts

#tgs hyde - 14 posts

#robert lanyon - 12 posts

Longest Tag: 86 characters

#like how would they make a multiple season long plot from 100 or something page novel?

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

all I'm here for, is to say: I am absolutely gay for these two. thank you, that's it. that's my big conclusion from today.

this applies to almost every J&H variant btw. I really wanna see more of them too...

(illustration is old, never posted it cause I messed it up, don't mind that lol )

119 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

#4

the absolute wonder that is the second chapter cover of TGS--

I swear, just looking at it brings me joy :')))

tried to replicate the artstyle again, enjoy lol

120 notes - Posted October 21, 2022

#3

since it's TGS Monday, here's some 'Confrontation'!

inspired by the musical adaptation I watched live around a month ago ^^

143 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

#2

okay, y'all know what?? let's do option 2!!!

reblog this with your own interpretation of Jekyll and Hyde and I'll try to make it into a bigger collab :DDD

also don't mind if I get a bit creative while stylizing but I'll try my best to stay as close to original as possible ^^

(be advised, this might take a couple weeks for me, but I'd absolutely love to see everyone's versions :)))

oh fuck I might have to draw... a background.

edit 2: and we have reached 40!!

submissions are now closed!!

thank you to everyone who contributed!!!! love y'all and your amazing works <3

and now off to work!!!

also yet again, I shall ask for your patience,,,, I'm really sorry but I'm already drowning in too much to do, so even while prioritizing this, it'll take a few weeks... I'll try and keep y'all updated ^^

175 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

IT. IS DONE.

I actually fucking did it. I finished a project. wtf.

anywayssss, I still do not know how to animate properly so I hope u enjoy it :3333

(this actually took 9 hours, in total worktime, holy shi-)

here're the original panels from TGS!!!

and now-- I'll just,,, sleep I guess???

447 notes - Posted November 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[m00neroni]

prompt: patronus. @wolfstarmicrofic word count: 739 september 8th ao3 post

“This is impossible” Sirius huffs and sits back in one of the few scattered chairs around the DADA classroom, clearly defeated. “What’s that shit about happy memories? Fucking idiotic, it’s not even working.”

“Have we finally found a spell that not even the great Sirius Black can perform? Should we call the Prophet? Inform the Ministry?” James jokes from his seat at Remus’ right, and he only receives a glare in return, when any other person would have been hexed into the next year just before they finished the sentence.

Remus considers it a bit hypocritical, seeing as James is also struggling with it, only having managed to conjure a faint silvery mist, the same as Peter. Remus, for his part, hasn’t even tried yet, scared of its possible corporal form.

Still, he knows the drill and can help his friend.

“You’re thinking too much and too loud, Sirius.” He says, kindly, because the other boy’s frustration is too evident and it seems like the best approach. “Which memory are you using?”

“When the Hat sent me to Gryffindor.” Sirius replies, almost in a whisper, genuinely pouting like a baby.

“See? That’s the problem.” Remus says. “That memory isn’t good enough.”

“Why not?” His friend frowns, clearly confused but he doesn’t look hurt or offended. “It’s the happiest memory I can think of.”

“But it’s tainted, Pads.” He presses, not unkindly, and leans forward to touch Sirius’ forearm. “You were stressed and worried and your family were horrible just about twenty minutes later it happened. You need something without negative connotations.”

“Excellent piece of advice, Mr Lupin!” Professor Musgrove’s voice hollers from behind them. “Our chosen memories must be as pure as possible, free of bad feelings. Even if we think happiness is overruling them, sometimes the hurt is too sharp to be defeated. Please, my boy and resident assistant teacher, will you demonstrate the spell to the class?”

“Sir, I don’t–”

“I insist!” The man ignores him. “Your theoretical knowledge should be enough, and you clearly are in control of your feelings.”

Yeah, I wish I was, you twat.

Remus grimaces towards his friends, trying not to notice how Sirius is staring right into his eyes, and stands up. He should have shut up, but Sirius needed his help and he just… Whatever now, too late. 

The werewolf closes his eyes and tries to find a good memory, quickly falling for the morning of the first Full Moon after his three mates knew what happened to him once a month, about the monster. After the moment they accepted him completely, and without asking anything in return. It might go against the idea of it not being tainted by bad sensations (the transformation is horrible on its own, obviously) but the happiness he felt when he woke up and saw Sirius sleeping in that uncomfortable chair right next to his bed. 

The others have joined here and there, but Sirius has always been the constant feature. It is he who Remus thinks about for this.

“Expecto Patronum.”

He would have known it had worked even without the collective gasp of his classmates, just by how the air moves around him and the tip of his fingers tickle. It is a wonderful sensation, so, even if he is scared shitless of facing the reality and whatever comes next, Remus opens his eyes slowly. 

The silvery figure is clearly and evidently canine and massive, but that is where the similarities with Moony end. The snout is different, the ears bigger and the paws less menacing. Even the doggy grin is an exact replica of Padfoot’s.

Remus’ hearts stop for a second there, but he can’t look anywhere else, too entranced and shocked by the implications. 

“Amazing! Look at that–!”

“Expecto Patronum.”

Sirius’ deep voice cuts the air and the teacher’s praising, conjuring a mist that quickly takes form almost as big as the one in front of Remus, a shape that he hasn’t seen in front of him ever in his life but has been described enough to him that Remus could recognise anywhere. The eyes, though, are the exact same ones he sees in the mirror every day, and he has almost a full minute to be shocked before the impressive spirit of Moony joins Padfoot in a tackle game.

“Well, who could have expected this?” James chuckles, and Remus finally looks at Sirius.

Who could have expected this, indeed. 

[utilitycaster]

actually taking the last bit out of the tags of that post because here is the thing. and I'm going to use specific examples, because I think it's illustrative.

the two groups of people in this fandom who have specifically harassed me have been, as I've said before, imo/dna fans mad I don't find the ship very good, and (to be fair, only on one occasion) shadowido/mauk fans who got mad that I said that tagging ao3 fic about throuples with individual pairs sucks. [hilariously the latter was not even about them at all, it was about me looking for imogen and fearne ship fic that wasn't witchy trio fic and finding it almost impossible to filter].

I do not like these people because they have engaged with harassment. It is not about identity; it is about actions. My closest friend, and the first non-family member I talked to on Wednesday morning, is a bi woman in an open marriage to a woman, with a longterm male partner. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. The last time I visited her, in September, I was joined by other mutual friends, who are similarly in an open marriage with longterm partners and at least one relationship between two women.

I am entirely secure, in my personal life, that I am kind and accepting to queer women (of which I am one) and to poly people (of which I am not), and so I hope you can appreciate that if someone attempts to attack me on the internet on these grounds because I do not have the same exact opinions on pretend people kissing, my response isn't "oh my god I should go off and die because I'm a terrible person," it's "get a load of this moron making wild assumptions about my personal life based on a single data point in my preferences in fiction; I'm going to make them regret doing this to me, and hopefully anyone else, because this is genuinely a detrimental behavior in the fandom space." And also, you know what. If they were a homeless person on the street and asked for a dollar I would still give it to them if their attacks were merely verbal (yes, I know the idea of someone screaming "YOU'RE A LESBOPHOBE FOR HATING IMO/DNA can i have a dollar" outside the grocery store is rather comical, and I think that is how you need to consider statements like "um actually I won't help pro-shippers." Imagine that conversation happening in an irl activist group. Everyone would be like "uh...anyway, how do we fight back against this hostile bench architecture.")

I think right now it is vitally important to remember what actual bigotry looks like and what needs to be fought, and the reason I tapped the sign of this post last night is literally that I think you are wasting time and energy engaging with people who think bigotry is "criticizing the pretend guy Ashton Greymoore for concrete but pretend choices they made" when I also think most people criticizing Ashton would, if Ashton were real, still toss them change if they needed it, or are people who currently donate to or otherwise work with local programs that assist nb people, disabled people, or unhoused children.

I like to argue and I like to engage in fandom and I will continue doing that because it is a source of enjoyment and comfort for me, but I really urge everyone to ask yourself "am I arguing about genuinely different readings, or do I think that everyone who doesn't like my blorbo ship is a bad person" because if it's the latter, I think you need to nip that in the bud of online fandom before it grows into something darker and worse. A lot of irl hate and bigotry starts from a place of "everyone who doesn't agree with me and give me what I want all the time is wrong and evil" and perhaps I am too optimistic, but I think many people who say things like that in fandom just are caught up in the drama of it all and are capable of exercising empathy when they stop treating shipping or interpretation like a popularity contest that, if they lose, indicates that everyone around them is irredeemable. But I also think it can be the start of a really bad path.

[irislunace]

I Love Us

Honestly, I'm so, so very glad AvA is the first fandom I've actually been an active participant in.

LONG RANT INCOMING

Throughout the years, I have "been in fandoms", but I never felt like posting my own art or works, commenting on vids (i didn't have a youtube account back then, still don't), or being anything other than a silent observer.

Back in March, when I came home from that math competition, and found AvMath in my recommendeds, and just clicked on it, I did not expect to get dragged into a fandom about stick figures, of all things. I remember watching AvPhysics directly after, then finding "Wanted", and watching it with no context. I remember going to the wiki, seeing all of the content that was made, and and binging AvM and the actual shorts and literally everything else.

And most of all, I remember thinking, "I wish I could just erase all of this from my mind and experience the magic all over again."

-

In May, I took a chance and went to Ao3. I knew it was a site to post fanfiction, but it had never been something I was interested in. But I was just curious, to see if fanfiction about this amazing fandom really existed. I didn't have an account, no; I think I just wanted to see.

There were about 1600-1700 fics on there about AvA, during that time. I didn't know how hits worked or kudos worked, but I just remember scrolling down until I could find something that looked like a lot of people had liked it.

And even then, I clearly remember the first fic I touched. "Identity", by LeenaFreeBird (I'll link it at the bottom). I absolutely loved it. I spent the rest of the month simply reading, and consuming all of the cool hcs, learning what fan terms meant, having an idea for my own fic that I thought, back then, I could never write.

Because I didn't.

I never made an account or wrote. I never left comments because part of me though people without an account wouldn't be able to, and that was just habit, at this point.

And even though I stepped slightly away from there in the months of June and July (we were in the process of moving halfway across the country, I had just watched the new Demon Slayer season, and upon recommendation had binged all of Haikyuu in a week), I always made sure to keep updated on whatever new AvA/M videos had been posted.

In August, I went back on Ao3.

SO MANY AMAZING FICS HAD BEEN WRITTEN IN THE SPAN I WAS AWAY.

I remember binging all of them for the month. I sat alone at lunch (as I was new I didn't have any friends), just reading them on my phone and getting sucked back into there.

In September AvI began. On a whim I logged back into my tumblr account that I had made like 5 years ago in 4th grade to post random rambling stuff about my life (I tagged nothing but my username wth), and redid my entire blog. I was sooo happy when one of my posts reached 100 notes.

I felt way stronger, and way braver. I joined the invite queue for Ao3, because I decided I DID want an account, and I DID want to post my own fics.

And everyone was (and is) SO NICE about it. They love my fics and posts (which I still consider really crappy, btw) to pieces, and always give me good comments. Even my bad fanart (another thing I got the courage to post during this time). Shipping wars never happen here (if they did, I wouldn't know about it). Rarepairs are appreciated, and we unanimously know the ships that should be completely illegal (not naming ship names here).

Everything and everyone is loved, and this is like the one little corner of the Internet where mostly all is safe and your opinion is valued. Sure, your fan theory may be wrong, but people here don't go and tell you "that's so stupid lol, no way that's true". They'll give you actual feedback, explain the evidence that falsifies it, or add to it because they like it.

Even on YouTube, if someone posts a yellue ship video, for example, they'll get hate, or "the color quad are just siblings lol", or "they r stickmen why are u shipping them". If someone HCs Blue as a girl (ik that's been debunked where we are at rn), they'll get a comment saying "it's stickman for a reason".

Like, let people have their opinions. Alan has never confirmed the color quad as siblings, or their origin story. I know he has said that he would like to avoid romance by not making female characters, but it's not like the people who ship yellue or grapeduo barge up to his door and demand he makes it canon. They're just peaceful, and everything that you're saying is fanon. For all we know, four different animators could have collabed on the sticksfight website and each animated a different character (not saying that's true, but we don't know).

And even with hollowhead pairs. Alan created them, yes, but how does Creator transfer to father in this scenario? We don't know, because he hasn't confirmed the hollowheads as siblings either. They still get hate on YouTube.

But Tumblr just loves everyone. The AvA community, for example, will always make you feel like you posted something good. They lift you up, not put you down. They appreciate your headcanons because it provides a new way of looking at things.

They appreciate you.

I feel so much better about putting myself out there, and I know I will do so more in the future. I now cannot comprehend how someone can see all of this content and think "they are just stick figures". No they aren't. They are stick figures with trauma, feelings, pain, heroic qualities, fatal flaws.

You, tumblr, makes me feel this way.

Thank you so much.

(I did not expect to rant about my entire journey when I was supposed to be talking about how amazing the AvA tumblr fandom is, but now that I have I'll just keep it. Here's the fic I was talking about)

[gunkbaby]

Tokyo Ghoul re-read:

Hello everypony. i have thrown around the idea of a Tokyo Ghoul re-read event of late, and a lot of people seem interested. I have come to some ideas for it, and wanted to inform everyone as I begin to sort it. If u have any ideas for the re-read, or might be interested in being a mod, pls dm me !

Im thinking basic idea of the re-read is kind of like a book club - a set chapter number per week, then the rest of the week is discussion. The chapter number i was setting was going to be about 1 volume per week - with adjusted numbers for slower and faster readers. (For example, know I can easily do a few day, but i read manga fast, but other people might only have time for 10 chapters a week, etc)

Also want to state the re-read would be open for literally everyone! Bc lots of ppl have expressed interest, but are already deep into personal re-reads - however you can absolutely still participate in the re-read and discussion (especially) if you are reading at a later point in the manga!!!!! i also know a few ppl who haven’t read TG before/anime onlys, who might like to join in too, and that’s absolutely fine too! There would be a spoiler free chat(s) too for newer readers specifically for this - and ppl can invite whoever they want to the read as well.

Pls give any suggestions or ideas! I’d luv to hear them.

The boring bits (where the read is held, estimate of when, etc) r all under here:

I’m thinking to do it on Discord, with weekly discussion threads/posts on twitter and tumblr - i believe you can create communities and public groups on both apps, so I would aim to make them also, if enough ppl were interested. There’s also the option for Instagram group chats - a WhatsApp group? Idk - if u have any suggestions, pls lmk. I don’t rly do group chats often.

As for when the re-read will start - i don’t yet know. I’m going back to school next month, as many are, and I’m just a busy little bee with a lot of interests and hobbies, so i would like to get into my routine first and ensure that i have time to dedicate to the re-read - or to gage how much help i might need with it. I think I might aim to start it in October personally - ideally on the first, but ik a lot of people do things during October (I’m literally considering writing for kinktober lmao) so it might be that later than that is a bit better - maybe trying to time it to start with a sort of school break time period. Maybe by the end of September I’ll be like ‘oh this is way easy, i have so much time for it’, but im adhd and bad at time planning, so i doubt it lmao.

I’m sorry if that’s too long a wait - y’all can start re-reads in the meantime idgaf. I just don’t want to start the re-read and realise two weeks in that i literally don’t have time. Lmao.

I also would ideally want a few mods/helpers on hand with the read. If only to help take care of the discord/chats, host separate discussions, etc - please lmk if you are interested. In particular, people with voice chat mod experience - i have no experience there so am desperate.

Pls lmk if u r interested in any of this - am i just talking to a wall? Idk! Tell meeee! Any suggestions or ideas r also greatly appreciated. I am hosting my own little re-read here but obviously this idea is not unique, I’m trying to see if enough people are interested in a group re-read with added discussion. It’s just some fun ofc.

[dodgebolts]

the moment that absolutely no one has been waiting for... here are the results of the dtblr survey that went out last week! Thank you to the 650 people who responded, easily eclipsing the 598 responses that were submitted in September :]

Open the read more to see the results!

Starting out, we have a newcomer to our top 8, welcome Awesamdude, who stole a spot from Quackity (20.7% -> 3.1%). Since the last survey, more people say they main all 3 Dream Team members and less people are maining their friends, most of them slipping under 10% of respondents saying they mained them save for the lovely Foolish Gamers.

Next, there was an increase in people who came for and still are here for the Dream Team—with a decrease in the proportion of respondents for nearly every other category. Dream team forever!

While most people (85%) have been around before 2022, we have a greater proportion of newer people around now! In the last survey, that number was even greater at 93%. So don't feel bad for being new, it's actually way more likely than you think, and a very warm welcome to the 5% of people who joined after the face reveal/meetup <3

Next is a question that I think is really interesting: has watching the Dream team influenced how people play Minecraft? More people now don't play as much, which tracks considering that they play Minecraft a lot less than they used to.

Now for a rather sore subject for a lot of people, since there's been quite a shift in who plays in MCC since the last time. In the last poll, 60.8% of people said they watched Dream. Now, those viewers have dispersed across creators or just stopped watching altogether, with both George and Sapnap gaining 10% from their numbers in the fall. However, 25% of people said that they don't watch anymore, a huge jump from the 4.5% in the fall. RIP MCC Dream, you're missed severely by the community <3

Next up, Trust Issues has managed to nearly catch up to some of Dream's released music, gaining 8 percentage points from the last survey. Dream if you're out there your fans want it really badly. Release it just for us?

Since the fall, we've seen the official end of the DSMP, so this is more of a legacy question, which is reflected pretty well in the statistics shifting towards people who either don't watch or are very casual about it, our lorehead population shrinking by 4 percentage points from the first survey.

These statistics haven't moved too much since the first one, the trends going pretty much as predicted with following decreasing from main -> alt -> priv (with the exception of Dream whose alt is often confused for his main) and with George and Sapnap having fewer people following them than Dream.

The statistics shift from this question is really interesting, especially given all the shit that's gone down on Twitter since the first survey. The percentage of dtblr who joined the fandom on there increased 7.7%, a gain that knocked down nearly every other platform's percentages. AO3 also makes its debut in the top 6, tying with Reddit exactly.

Much like the twitter following question, these statistics didn't shift too much, with the YouTube algorithm and word of mouth from other people/creators doing most of the heavy lifting of marketing for the Dream Team. Shoutout to the people who found out through either Heat Waves or MrBeast, you guys are on like 2 ends of a horrific spectrum y'all are strong as hell LOL

Now for some shared fandom trauma, these results also didn't change too much from the first survey. However, for this iteration I added Supernatural, as I probably should've done the first time considering this IS the SPN website after all. I managed to grab a few more people than last time out of the 'none of the above' category with its inclusion, so hi all my former and current SPN bloggers o/ <- has never seen the show before

A vast majority of us have watched gaming content in some form before, and fewer people this time have never watched gaming content before. From those who specified which games they'd watched, the titles ranged far and wide, so it's really cool to see all of us under the dtblr umbrella :)

Once again, this question showcases how lurkers truly carry the community on their backs—there's a small decrease in lurkers from last time and an increase in blogging answers, so it seems like some of our lurkers started posting which is awesome :D

Over half of us don't really watch any other MC servers, but there's still a ton of people who like watching them! From the last time I ran the survey, most of the servers—save for Empires and Karmaland—now have fewer dtblr watchers. The QSMP makes a strong debut on the board though, eclipsing half of the other options.

This was a really interesting question, though it seems like the vast majority of people either continued posting on the same blog or took a break and just jumped back into the fray! Also a late welcome to the ~15% of people who either weren't here or started posting after <3

The answers to this question showed some of the most interesting shifts from last fall's data. Fewer people seem to be listening regularly, and the proportion of people who responded no is nearly doubled from the fall's 21%.

These data points were also really interesting to see shift from the fall! Of note, fewer people like and tolerate Jackbox, and more people seem to have warmed up to FPS games—Fortnite, CS:GO, and Valorant all have fewer people in the "don't like & won't watch" category. Still, Valorant is easily the most hated game of the 6 while Geoguessr is still almost universally loved/tolerated.

As expected in the shipping category, DNF dominates any other ships, with Karlnap easily taking the second place. The proportion of Toosh enjoyers has doubled since the fall, up from 14.7%, while the number of non-shippers has halved. Additionally, the proportion of Karlnapity enjoyers has plummeted from 25.4% to less than 10%. Otherwise, most ships have stayed within 3-4 percentage points of their fall numbers!

Once again, Dream seems to have forced the hands of nearly half of us, turning non-RPF shippers into the RPF fandom we are today. Interestingly, the number of "yes" respondents has nearly doubled from the fall, while fewer people responded that they still don't ship RPF. As would make Dream happy probably, the pie chart is colored blue and green.

Now onto some of the demographic questions, we've continued to be very heavily biased towards North America and Europe, with nearly 85% of us coming from those two continents. Compared to the fall, we've gotten proportionally more South American and Oceanian rep. Hey to the Asians/Australians who are probably going to see this when it's first posted! o/

Once again, the majority of us seem to be around the same age as our streamers, with 80% of us falling between the ages of 18 and 30. Don't fret, though! From the fall, the proportion of respondents in both the <18 and >30 age brackets have increased. All in all, nothing too surprising.

The pride parade is still running from last fall, with approximately the same percentage of people identifying as LGBTQIA+ or unsure. Just in time for pride month in a day or so!

I'm not sure if I was just miscounting but I could not for the life of me get all of these little squares into a proper rectangle, so just bear with my weird organization here. Regardless, the majority of us rep the blue and green as our favorite colors, with multiple people specifying the hex code of George's minecraft shirt or a classic teal.

It's been about a month since this has been out, and we still unfortunately haven't gotten It Takes Two back. We're still in the phase 42% of people believe that we're going to stay in for a while, getting bounced back and forth between Dream and George hoping that they can get the other wrangled for it. #I_BELIEVE!

This was kind of a cruel question for most of us, but to the 11 people who answered that have met any of them, know that you're in a very select group of users. I'm jealous!

Now to answer the age-old question of the dtblr 1%, it constitutes those of you with around or over 5,000 followers, while a majority of people have less than 50 followers or just no blog at all. As with most other follower polls I've seen floating around, the responses were heavier towards the bottom, but as is the common advice/adage, follower count means very little here—just start chatting and posting!

For the final question, I thought it'd be interesting to see what dtblr's academic interests are, and also to reaffirm or break my belief that George is like a flame to the moths of CS/Engineering-focused people, which was at least initially supported by the data from the fall. We've got people from all across the diversity of academic fields, with the most people indicating that they're interested in the arts and humanities.

As for my hypothesis: among non-George mains, the proportion of CS/Engineering people is about 5.5%, whereas 18.3% of George mains indicated that they're interested in CS/Engineering. In fact, I took a closer look at all the people who noted their interest in CS/Engineering, and nearly 70% of them said that they mained George. Like I said, moths to a flame. or something. I'm right there with y'all 🫡

That's all! Thanks so much to everyone for responding and waiting for me to get through all of this data, it's always a big task but I love seeing the results. Until next time!

[jaeyunverse]

into the fandomverse | an enhypen collab call

welcome to into the fandomverse, a collaboration project for all engenes who enjoy writing on tumblr. i recently hit 3k followers and am hosting this event in celebration of said milestone. all details about the collab are under the cut. i hope you consider joining and spread the word so that your friends can join too :’)

collab masterlist

𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗠𝗘:

the general theme of the collab is that your fic should be set up in an alternate universe that already exists in a movie, show, book, game, comic, kdrama or anime. for example: harry potter x enhypen, haikyuu x enhypen, shadowhunters x enhypen etc. it really doesn’t matter what crossover or universe you choose as long as it is not problematic :)

𝗥𝗨𝗟𝗘𝗦:

there are 21 slots in total i.e three for each member.

slots will be given on a first come, first serve basis so that the allotment is fair.

explicit smut is NOT allowed. implied smut is permitted ONLY for the HYUNG LINE—it goes without saying that you must be an adult if you wish to include anything nsfw in your submission.

member x reader and member x oc are the only pairings allowed. no member x member fics! remember to be inclusive of all races and body types if you are writing a x reader fic.

appearances of members other than the one you have chosen are allowed, but please make sure that the main focus of the fic is your chosen member!

your fic can include sensitive subjects as long as they are not romanticized, portrayed in bad light or represented incorrectly. also, please make sure to put proper trigger warnings above the read more cut once you post your fic.

no racism, ableism, homophobia or similar prejudices. you will be removed from the collab if you are found guilty of harboring them.

the code word is fandom. please mention it while applying for a spot so that i know you have gone through the rules.

the minimum word count is 1k. there is no maximum word count so feel free to let your imagination run free. please note that drabbles, blurbs, reactions, headcanons, series, smaus and timestamps will not be accepted. oneshots only!

plagiarism is strictly prohibited.

be respectful and kind to the other members who are a part of the collab. no hate will be tolerated.

this is not a rule but it would be nice if you had a discord account. i have made a server for easy communication and interaction between the collab members. it’s okay if you do not have an account!! i will update you through tumblr dms :’)

if you have any further queries, don't hesitate to dm me <3

𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗟𝗬:

applications will be accepted through tumblr asks.

make sure to include your chosen member + fandom + the code word hidden in this post while sending in your application.

after your application has been accepted, please reblog this post to spread the message :D

𝗗𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦/𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛𝗗𝗥𝗔𝗪𝗔𝗟𝗦:

the tentative deadline for posting your entry for the collab is 30th september, 2024.

the deadline is mostly for namesake and you are free to post your submission whenever you want, but please do not take undue advantage of the time flexibility.

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𝗦𝗟𝗢𝗧𝗦

HEESEUNG: @hanverse (twd) | @flwrshee (25/21) | @boyfhee (extraordinary you) | @tarcherz (ever after high)

JAY: @soobisms (saiki k.) | @junityy (before sunrise) | @lheewonz (demon slayer) | @4xiaojun (maid sama!)

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RIKI: @jaeyunverse (spiderman) | @cinnajun (pjo) | @jennaissantes (our beloved summer) | @tyunni (13 going on 30)

[gorgeousundertow]

@riddlersboyfriend Hi Luke, it's your summer exchange fic!! xoxoxoxo

Don't give it a hand, offer it a soul

Cross-posting on A03 since it's, ya know, long.

First Battalion

CO: Lt Col. Billy Turner. West Point. Demands fawning attention. Shouts. 3/10.

Charlie Company

Capt. Albert Hassenzahl. 

From Cincinnati, Ohio. Worked in steel mill.

27 years old

Sometimes brash or impetuous, leading to friction within the unit. 

Sufficient. 6/10

Sgt. Roy Speake Jr.

From Birmingham, Alabama. Foreman in cotton mill. 

30 years old, yet willing to take orders from younger men.

7/10

Sgt. Mariano Sanchez. 

From El Paso, Texas. Family owned a small grocery.

28 years old, difficulty conforming to protocol. Falls behind on runs.

5/10

T/5 John Davis. 

From Detroit, Michigan. Janitor.

20 years old, works hard but talks too much. 

6/10

Cpl. Harvey White. 

From a small town in rural Kansas, farmer. 

Age: 19. Inept and unreliable. Poor aim, shirks duties. But could improve if properly motivated.

4/10

Pfc. Paul Devoe. 

From New Orleans, Louisiana. Line cook. 

Age: 24. Charismatic and optimistic. Keeps spirits up, though impulsivity is an issue.

7/10

Schedule

0600 Reveille                                                                        

0610 Formation                                              

0630 Tidy barracks                                                    

0700 Calisthenics     

0800 Wash up                                                                      

0900 Barracks Inspection                                                   

0930 Currahee or obstacle course                       

1045 PT drills                              

1115 Outside lecture                                                           

​1200 Lunch                                  

1330 Mail Call                

1345 Lecture/Classroom 

1500 Parachute training                       

1700 Drill

1800 Supper

1900 Lecture/Classroom

2100 Return to barracks            

2300 TAPS

Notes September 1942

Dislike Lt. Col. Turner intensely.

Training is more difficult than anticipated.

Seems that what was true in Boston remains true here. Cannot seem to join conversations with the other men, continue to make them uncomfortable. Thought it would be different here than it was back home.

Notes October 1942

Lt. Col Turner is incompetent, stupid, and worthless.

Perhaps other companies have it better; consider orchestrating a change? Investigate.

Notes November 1942

Chose E Company, 2nd Platoon at random, for observation.

Capt. Herbert Sobel

From Chicago, Illinois. Attending University of Illinois.

30 years old

Would be a close friend of Lt. Col. Turner.

2/10

1/Lt. Richard Winters

From Lancaster, Pennsylvania

26 years old, effective. Has the respect of his men. Commands from the front.

8/10

Sgt. Carwood Lipton

From Huntington, West Virginia. Worked in mother’s boarding house.

22 years old, quiet. And yet the men listen.

8/10

Cpl. Donald Hoobler

From Manchester, Ohio, three siblings, joined National Guard.

Age: 20. Young, but works hard.

6/10

Pfc. Joseph Liebgott

Born in Michigan, moved to San Francisco

Age: 27. Cab driver. Speaks German. Easily angered, needs focus.

7/10

Pvt. David Webster

From New York City. Harvard grad. Writer

Age: 20. Lazy, whiny, as bad at talking to others as I am, in a different way.

5/10

Will continue to observe

Notes December 1942

Col. Sink insisted we march 118 miles, from Toccoa to Atlanta. It snowed. It served no function but to boost the egos of men who did not march alongside us.

Companies became disorderly, and by the end we were not marching in our own battalions. As such, I was marching mostly with E Company.

I spoke with Winters, as he was willing to speak with me. For some reason, he does not seem put off by me as others are–perhaps that is because, apart from Lt. Lewis Nixon III of Nixon, NJ, of HQ Company, no one wants to talk to him, either. Nixon certainly does; he made his way all the way over to E Company from the very beginning of the march, and stayed there, right at Winters’ side. By that token, I spoke with Nixon, as well. The march was miserable, but I believe I enjoyed it more than I have enjoyed any other time here.

We did not talk about much of anything of consequence–Nixon ensured that. I think the man is incapable of serious conversation. You would think someone as thoughtful as Winters would dislike him for that, but clearly he does not. It is odd. They are odd.

I observed the other members of E Company as we marched. They are a tight-knit group, more so than C Company by far. It is not because of their CO, that’s certain; he does everything he can to drive them apart, and clearly loathes Winters. 

Winters does what he can, but his resources are limited serving under a tyrant, an experience I can sympathize with. In truth, it is the NCOs that hold the Company together. To a man, they work tirelessly to keep spirits up, assisting those who are exhausted, making sure they eat and drink and sleep when they can.

Sgt. Lipton in particular has an interesting way about him. He doesn’t lead like the others, shouting at them to haul ass like Sgts. Guarnere and Martin do, in the time-honored tradition of NCOs. He gives orders, but he does so in a way that is almost friendly. I can’t wrap my head around it.

Notes January 1943

Continuing to observe Sgt. Lipton. 

Pvt. Webster is improving, partly because of Sgt. Lipton. (It seems that Pfc. Liebgott has an influence as well, though I can’t fully understand it. To a casual observer–which I do not believe I am–Liebgott bullies him, but in such a way that it almost seems affectionate. It is puzzling). Sgt. Lipton’s approach is different. He encourages Webster (and others, I do not mean to suggest that his efforts are limited to one man–he supports the entire Platoon. Hell, the entire Company) in subtle ways, walking with him to help him keep the pace up, but letting Webster think it’s because he really wants to hear him talk about Impressionist painters or Romantic poets. Perhaps he does. It is difficult to tell; he seems so genuinely engaged.

Capt. Sobel chewed him out for an imaginary offense (a not unusual occurrence in Easy Company) and Sgt. Lipton accepted it with stoicism. But when Sobel turned his back, Sgt. Lipton smirked. He rolled his eyes. There is steel in him.

Notes February 1943

Went for a run with Winters this morning, came across Sgt. Lipton. Winters invited him to join us. Winters runs like a maniac; running with him allows me to push myself, now that we are now longer running Currahee. I expected Sgt. Lipton to decline, particularly given my presence–no NCO has ever wanted to socialize with me–but he did not. He kept pace with Winters easily. He runs very well.

When we finished, we headed for the showers before Reveille, and Sgt. Lipton grabbed towels for each of us, even though it was unnecessary.

Notes March 1943

Have continued to run with Winters every morning. We have not encountered Sgt. Lipton again.

Notes June 1943

Have ceased running with Winters, as it’s too hot and I have concluded that Winters is a lunatic. We have plenty of PT; there’s no need to add on more. I don’t know why I bothered.

Notes August 1943

Couldn’t sleep, as usual. Went out walking through Fort Benning, found myself by the NCO barracks. Stood and smoked for a while. Went back to bed.

Notes September 1943

The S.S. Samaria is miserable. Am crammed into a cabin with Winters, Nixon, Lt. Harry Welsh, Lt. Heyliger, Lt. Roush, and Lt. Meehan from Baker Company. We have to wear life jackets at all times, and Nixon won’t stop talking about how the Titanic didn’t have enough lifeboats, and the Samaria definitely doesn’t.

Sleep is impossible, so have taken to walking the deck at night. Came across Sgt. Lipton, offered him a cigarette even though I know he doesn’t smoke. He described the racks the enlisted men have, and I decided to shut up about my sleeping situation. 

He was there the next night, and the next. He didn’t seem to mind my smoking. If he wasn’t on deck in the same place, I would have left him alone–I wouldn’t have gone looking for him. But he was always there, as if he was waiting for me. He didn’t say much, though neither did I, I suppose. We just looked out at the black sea.

Notes November 1943

Sgt. Lipton–and the other Sgts from Easy Company, I suppose–have mutinied on Winters’ behalf. It was brave. It was the right thing to do. It could force Sink’s hand, push him to realize how incompetent Sobel is. (We should try it in First Battalion). 

But I don’t know what’s going to happen to them. To him.

Notes December 1943

It’s all right. Two Sgts. were punished, neither of them were him.

It is clear that my interest in Easy Company is not beneficial, and no longer necessary. I am not gaining anything. I should not be more informed on the goings on in a Company that isn’t my own–that isn’t even in my Battalion. I’m going to stop taking notes altogether, anyway–loose lips and all.

Notes May 1944

Have been transferred to Dog Company. If I see Lt. Col. Turner in combat, I’ll kill him.

This is all pointless, anyway. In all likelihood, I am going to die. We are all going to die. Even…even he is going to die.

Notes June 1944

Sgt. Lipton was injured at Carentan, I do not know how badly.

I was also injured. I will recover. 

There were some incidents at Normandy. I shot an NCO; he was drunk and endangering the men. I shot six POWs. They were my first kills. I have killed more, since.

The looks men gave me, before we came, as if they weren’t sure what I was capable of. 

They know, now. I know, too.

Notes July 1944

Sgt. Lipton was wounded in the groin and on the face. He is in the hospital here in Aldbourne, recovering. He is several beds down from me. He receives visitors throughout the day.

Now that he is up and about, he comes to say hello sometimes, as I am not yet able to walk. He does not avoid me, as the other men do. 

He ought to; it would be better if he did. It’s useful that they fear me. It will make me a better leader.

Notes August 1944

Have been transferred to HQ Company, working alongside Nixon. It’s for the best.

Notes December 1944

Have been transferred back to Dog Company, as they are short on officers. We will be needed, I am told, for what’s coming in Belgium.

Notes January 1945

I couldn’t stop watching 1st Sgt. Lipton. With Winters leading the battalion and Lt. Dike as the empty shirt they’ve put in his place, Lipton has been the Company together. He is exhausted–we all are, of course, but it hurts somehow to see it on him. His eyes are shadowed, I could see it even from a distance. I patrolled the lines of Dog Company often, to catch a glimpse of him. I insisted that our medics share supplies, food. I wanted him to eat. To be safe. I was at the edge of the line when German artillery rained down, and I swear I heard him laughing. It was beautiful.

I would have gone across that field at Foy even if Winters hadn’t sent me. Someone had to go, and I was glad it was me. It was the easiest decision I ever made–it wasn’t even a decision, my feet were going before I even had the thought, as soon as they had Winters’ permission to do so. 

And now, I’m in command of Easy Company. It feels…right. Like I should have been with them all along. I know these men. I know what they need.

I knew what 1st Sgt. Lipton needed–he needed to know that someone had watched him, had seen what he had done. Had seen the man he is. And so I told him, in a church, while a choir of girls sang in golden light. It was…a risk, because letting him know that allowed him to see me, as well. To an extent. 

He still does not seem frightened of me. If anything, he seems a little amused. I don’t know what to make of it, exactly. But I don’t dislike it.

Notes February 1945

I’ve been promoted to Captain. One would think this would be welcome, but it is not. I couldn’t stop thinking of the men who have died, while I’m still here. I tried getting drunk–it’s what everyone else does, Nixon, Welsh, all of them. I’ve never really seen the point, but last night I thought, what the hell, it’s worth a shot.

I’m sharing quarters with 1st. Sgt. Lipton (he should be Lt. Lipton, but it hasn’t come through yet. Promotion won’t ruin him as it has me). I stumbled there, and I was…I couldn’t…I wasn’t as in control of myself as I would have liked to be. 

In truth, I wasn’t anything close to control. I came into the tent so drunk I couldn’t see straight, and I was crying. I hadn’t cried before, not once in the entire war. Not with all the deaths. Not for the men who died or the men I killed. But I cried when I got my fucking captaincy. 

Lipton was in bed, and I sat down on his cot. Aren’t you supposed to forget things that happen when you’re drunk? Why do I remember all of this? 

I remember I tried to kiss him. At least, I think that’s what happened. It is a little fuzzy. All I know is that I was sitting there on his cot and he was in bed, lying down and listening to me, and then I was half on top of him. I think I remember my mouth on his…fuck, you’d think if I’d gone and done something so colossally stupid I would have the decency to be sure about it. You’d think it would be seared into my brain, something I could go back to sometimes, in the privacy of my own thoughts. But there’s nothing, really. Just a vague sense of closeness, of Lipton, right there.

I got to my own bed, somehow. He must have put me there–by that point, I was too drunk to know my own name. And in the morning he greeted me with his usual smile and a cup of extra strong coffee. As though nothing at all had happened. So I guess nothing did.

Notes February 1945

Lipton is sick. He’s been sick for a week or so, but he’s getting worse. It won’t stop. He won’t stop–just keeps acting like he’s fine, even though his fever is running so hot Doc Roe keeps trying to get him off the line. It’s pneumonia, and we’re out here in the cold, and he still won’t go. I’m so furious with him I don’t know what to do. 

I can’t watch over him every minute, so I’ve put Luz on him. Luz has the right approach–firm, but with a smile. Lipton doesn’t respond to direct orders; I’ve tried that.

He remains infuriatingly competent, even when he coughs so hard I worry he’s going to drop a lung on my jump boots. Easy is running on fumes, and yet Lipton has it as organized as can be. And I can’t help coming to him for advice, to discuss options, even when he should be resting–because his advice is invaluable to me.

This town, Hagenau, has been blown to pieces. Is still being blown to pieces. We barely have roofs over our heads, though of course that’s practically a luxury, considering some of the places we’ve been. Easy CP is in a building with only one bed, and I’ve put Lipton there. It took some doing–I thought I was going to have to carry him there, and frankly he’s bigger and stronger than I am. Well, maybe not stronger, with pneumonia. 

I could sleep in another room, of course, but I’ll be sleeping on the floor, in the same room. I want to be able to hear him if he needs anything, if he takes a turn for the worse. 

Notes February 1945

Something happened last night. I don’t…I’m going to write it down, to see if that way I’ll understand it.

At 0230 I went to bed. The patrol did not go well. Two prisoners is not a fair exchange for Jackson. I was…upset. But I still moved quietly, so as not to disturb Lipton–only he was awake. He called me over, asked how the patrol went. I told him. 

“I’m sorry, sir.”

“It should never have happened,” I said.

He shrugged, his muscled shoulders moving in the low light from the fire I’d had Luz light in the hearth, and the cooler light from the moon.The room was warm, and he wore only his undershirt. “Lots of things have happened in this war that shouldn’t have, sir.”

I couldn’t argue with that. He slid to the side, gesturing for me to sit down on his bed, as I’d sat a couple of weeks ago, drunk off my head. I obeyed, but I frowned at him, unsure. “What are you doing awake? Can’t sleep? Should I get Roe?”

Lipton shook his head, a little smile on his face. “No. I’m feeling much better, sir. I wanted to see how you are.” 

I wasn’t quite sure how to respond. “I…I’m fine?” It sounded like I was asking him for the right answer, but how I was wasn’t something I’d considered in…well, in years, I suppose. Since well before Normandy. 

“Good,” Lipton said, taking me at my word. “Would you like some of this?” He held up a bottle and I blinked at it. It was schnapps–I’d taken it from a German couple next door, along with some kind of pastry. Apfelstrudel, they’d called it. 

“I don’t really drink,” I said warily, thinking of that other night. 

Lipton grinned. “Neither do I, but I figure you got this for me for a reason, right, sir?”

“The woman said it would cure you.” 

Lipton held out the bottle to me expectantly, so I took a small sip. It burned going down, too sweet. I handed it back to him, and he took a sip himself, placing his mouth where mine had been. I watched his throat as he swallowed. I was so close to him, I could hear the sound his lips made as they left the bottle. “Another?” he asked.

I shook my head. I didn’t understand what was happening–maybe nothing was happening, maybe this was all perfectly ordinary–but I sure as hell wanted to remember it clearly tomorrow. Lipton took another sip, made a face, and closed the bottle, setting it down on the floor. “Have you had a lot of that?” I asked.

Lipton shrugged, loose. “Some.”

“Enough to cure you then,” I said, and he laughed. 

“I guess so.”

I could feel his hip against my leg, and the room got a little brighter with the light of an explosion from a couple of blocks away, and I could only hope it hadn’t done any more damage than we’d already sustained tonight. His eyes are so soft. “I should let you sleep.”

I didn’t stand up, though. I meant to, I meant to get up and go sleep on the floor like I’d insisted I would. I was going to, any second, but I hadn’t yet when Lipton said, “You could sleep here with me.”

I try not to let my emotions show on my face, but I must have looked surprised (I was more than surprised), because Lipton added, “We’ve all slept in tighter quarters than this, in Bastogne. There’s no need for you to sleep on the floor, sir.”

And it’s true. I slept as close as I could to other men in foxholes, because otherwise we would have frozen to death. But this room had a warm fire. There was no reason to. And yet, Lipton slid to the side, making a little more room for me–there wasn’t a lot, it was a small bed–and so I…lay down. 

I didn’t take off my boots, or my jacket or anything. I didn’t want to risk taking the time, in case he changed his mind. I lay on my back, but that didn’t quite work, it was too close, so I turned onto my side. I should probably have faced away from him. I didn’t.

His face was right there. I could have kissed him again (did I even kiss him, before? I’ve never been certain). He blinked at me in the darkness, but I didn’t move. Eventually, his eyes closed, but I lay there for a long time, long enough to feel him relax and curl into me. I pressed my lips to his shoulder, and I thought I felt his breath against my hair, but I couldn’t be sure. 

When I woke up in the morning, he was gone.

Notes February 1945

I haven’t known what to do with myself all day. Lipton has been hard to pin down–now that he is feeling better, he is working harder than ever. Winters canceled the second patrol, but we still need to act as though it is going forward, which means the same amount of work, plus I needed to make sure Lt. Jones is squared away. 

I had Liebgott and the others firing across the river, while Webster and Sgt. Martin hid in the house. By the time I got back to the CP, it was 0300.

Lipton wasn’t in the bedroom waiting for me. He was awake and working with Luz, sorting through the supply delivery. I stopped in to say goodnight and when he said goodnight back, he…well, he smiled at me. But Lipton smiles at everyone. 

I don’t like this. I don’t like being uncertain. 

Notes February 1945

It’s Lieutenant Lipton now, at long last. Welsh caught up with us, and he had Lipton’s bars with him. I was there when Winters pinned them on, when Lipton shook his hand. There were so many of us there–Nixon, along with Luz and Webster in the other room. Hell, even Lt. Jones was standing there. What felt like it ought to have been a close moment, something for just me and him, wasn’t, couldn’t have been, with so many men around. But of course it wasn’t just for him and me–why would it have been? I’ve only been his CO for a month. Of course he would want to share this with men he’s known for years. He’s earned that and more.

But I was impatient. I couldn’t…after spending yesterday so uncertain, I didn’t want to spend another moment that way. And we were equals now, or almost. We were both officers, at least.

So I took him by the arm and brought him into the other room. It wasn’t private, by any means–they were all still right there, Harry and Nixon drinking from Nixon’s flask, Winters watching them in that amused way he has. And we were going to be heading out soon–I’m writing this in the back of a jeep as Winters drives, in fact. But I couldn’t wait.

“Yes, sir?” he said, expectantly.

I had absolutely no idea what to say. “Um. Yes. Congratulations, Lieutenant.”

He smiled, wide and sincere, that smile that spreads so far across his face that it lifts the downturned corners of his eyes. “Thank you, sir.”

I had to think of something else, some reason to keep him here away from everyone else while I thought of a way to ask what I needed to ask him. “And you’re sure you’re feeling better? Because we could go to an aid station.”

He reached out and squeezed my arm, just below the elbow. It was a little thing, something I’d seen the men do all the time. Hell, Winters and Nixon were never not touching, it seemed. “I promise, I’m fine, sir.”

Just a little thing, but it seemed like I could feel his hand on my skin, even through my coat. No one ever really touches me. “I…” I cleared my throat. “I’m glad to hear that.” His hand slid down, so that his fingers touched the bare skin of my wrist, just resting there. From the other room, it wouldn’t have looked like anything, but it felt like everything. “Lieutenant Lipton…”

“You can call me Lip, you know, sir,” he said. “Everyone else does.”

“Lip,” I repeated, quietly. It probably came out as a whisper. I don’t think I will call him Lip, in front of other people. I think I’ll keep that close.

“Sparky!” Nixon called from the other room. “We’re moving out in an hour, think you can manage that?” 

Lipton’s fingers tightened on my wrist before letting go. “Yes,” I said, without looking away from him. I heard the sounds of the other men leaving, of Winters talking to Jones, of Luz giving Webster a hard time, of Welsh and Nixon bantering back and forth. Lipton stepped back, and I felt the moment slipping away, as if this was my only chance, and if I didn’t say something right then–though I still didn’t know what I should say–I would never get another try.

So I reached out and grabbed the back of his neck. His mouth was warm and soft, tasting of coffee and stale bread. He kissed me back, and the relief in that was enough to make me dizzy.

We broke away to catch our breath, and he smiled against my mouth. “Ron,” he whispered. 

We had to leave that room, then, and that house full of broken walls and rubble, to gather the men and move on to another house in another town. But he’ll call me Ron again, I believe, when we’re alone. And I’ll call him Lip. And maybe there isn’t anything else that needs to be said, for now.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Humbly here to request my weekly sentences :)

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️ I am SO intrigued by this idea

YAY!

45 for 🧟:

---

“It looked like a singular flashlight,” Maddie explains. 

“Maybe it’s just someone looking around,” Hen says. 

Because she hopes. Because she worries about the alternative. Because she needs for there not to be a threat to her son.

“Right, yeah,” Maddie nods. “Like a scavenger. Or a traveler. I’ve been there.”

“We don’t know,” Bobby decides. “And we’re not going to panic until we do. A handful of us can go scouting tomorrow.”

Hen is almost certain that includes her. Good. She’ll make sure Karen stays behind with Denny, where it’s safe. 

“Sounds like a plan,” Karen says. 

“I’ll take the first stakeout shift,” Bobby announces.

“I’ll join you,” Athena offers. 

“I appreciate that,” Bobby replies. 

And that’s that. It’s settled. They have a plan. 

Having a plan always makes Hen feel better. Not totally better, but less bad. The worst is being in a predicament and not knowing what next move to make. At least this isn’t that. Yet. 

But, still… Hen would be lying if she said she gets much sleep that night. 

September 8th, 2018

Denny is overflowing with joy in the morning. A few days of playing with boys his own age and he’s pretty much descended into being a total rascal. But compared to a child that only had adults for company and seemed a bit too old for his age, Hen will take a bit of  mischief and silliness any day. 

“What if something terrible happens?” Hen asks her wife quietly as they get ready for the day. “Denny is finally getting to be a normal kid.”

“I don’t know if this is normal,” Karen says, looking across the room to where Denny and Christopher are playing Connect 4. “But, yeah… I know. I can’t stop thinking, Eddie left his kid here. He trusted Maddie and all of us. Now what if when he gets back…”

God, Hen hadn’t even considered that. 

“I hope they get back soon,” Hen mumbles. “We could use numbers and weapons on our side, just in case.”

---

60 for ❄️:

---

Basically, Eddie can’t be blamed for any of this. He’s free of guilt. He didn’t mean to… Well, do anything. 

Really, all he wanted to do was be less of a fucking mess. 

i.

“I think group therapy would benefit you,” Frank says, one session in late June. 

Christopher is still gone and Gerrard is still captain and life still pretty much sucks. Every day just feels like an endless loop of fucking shit. 

“You firing me, Frank?” Eddie asks. “Took you longer than expected, actually.”

Eddie’s been doing that a lot lately. The whole sarcasm thing. More than usual. And not just to Frank. He’s even begun to make tiny, biting comments in Buck’s direction. Which is completely unfair of him because all Buck is doing is supporting him. Just… Well, sometimes Eddie doesn’t know what else to say when… When things are brought up. 

Frank smiles patiently. “I think group therapy would benefit you, in addition to our sessions together.”

Eddie blinks. “Twice the amount of therapy? Extra people? I don’t know.”

Frank nods. “Yeah, it’s not most people’s favorite idea at first. But the feedback is usually pretty good.”

“Why would I need a group?” Eddie asks. “These problems… They’re pretty specific to me.”

Though, if Frank can point him in the direction of a support group for people who have encountered eerie clones of their dead spouses, Eddie will shut his damn mouth and get going. If this is a recurring thing for people, that’s just insane. Eddie will gladly join that class action lawsuit against god or the universe or whatever Buck would interpret it as. 

“Not all of what we’ve talked about is specific to you, Eddie,” Frank says. “A lot of people struggle with-”

“But isn’t everything with Chris and Kim and all that the most pressing thing?” Eddie interrupts. “That’s what I need to solve first.”

“It all helps, Eddie. We’ve talked about this. You being in a better, more open and accepting place with yourself? That will help with the rest.”

Eddie groans a little. It all sounds so counterintuitive. Even though Eddie knows he’s probably right. Why should he get to work on accepting and loving himself, when the consequences of his actions are still hurting his son? Keeping him away from home? He shouldn’t get to be happy right now. 

But the thing is, Eddie made a promise. To Buck, first. The night Christopher left. More than that, though, to himself. He’s going to trust the process. Therapy. The whole nine yards. He’s not going to let this destroy him. 

[streda]

Conrad Veidt

Actually Hans Walter Conrad Veidt, was a German-British actor, born on 22 January 1893 in Berlin. initially became famous in Germany, thanks to films such as: "Different from the others", "Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari" or "The Hands of Orlac". After a career in silent films, he became a best-paid star UFA.

As a child, he lived in the family home at Tieckstraße 39 in Berlin with his mother, Amalie Marie, and Philipp Heinrich Veidt, a former military man who became a government official. his father was strict unlike his mother who was caring and sensitive. He came from a Lutheran family in the Lutheran Church and was baptized on March 26, 1893. He also had an older brother, Karl, who died in 1900 of scarlet fever at the age of 9. two years after Karl's death, his father became seriously ill and required heart surgery. As Conrad's family was not wealthy and could not afford such an expense, the doctor only demanded the fee that the family could afford. Young Veidt was delighted with the surgeon's kindness and swore to follow the example of the man who saved his father's life, from that moment on he wanted to become a surgeon. Niesetu's dream of becoming a surgeon was thwarted when he graduated in 1912 without a diploma and placed 13th out of 13 students, and was also discouraged by the amount of study it took to get into medical school. However, a new career path opened up for Conrads during a Christmas performance in which he delivered a long prologue before the curtain rose. The performance was bad, but the audience thought that Veidt did really great. Conrad became interested in actors, but his father considered stage artists to be outcasts and often called them gypsies. Thanks to part-time work and pocket money from his mother, Veidt was able to afford to attend theaters in Berlin. After each performance he stood in front of the Deutsches Theater waiting for the actors or hoping that he would be mistaken for an actor. At the end of the summer of 1912, he met a theater porter who introduced him to the actor Albert Blumenreich, who agreed to give Corad acting lessons for six marks. He was given 10 lessons before auditioning for Max Reinhardt reciting Goethe's Faust. Reinhardt offered Veidt a contract as an assistant for one season from September 1913 to August 1914, with a salary of 50 marks per month. During this time he played episodic roles as spear carriers and soldiers. His mother attended almost every performance of her son. After a successful career, they decided to extend his contract for a second season, but World War I broke out and on December 28, 1914, Conrad was enlisted in the army. In 1915 he was sent to the Eastern Front as a non-commissioned officer and took part in the Battle of Warsaw. In the meantime, he contracted jaundice and pneumonia and had to be evacuated to a hospital on the Baltic Sea. While convalescing, he received a letter from his girlfriend Lycie Mannheim informing him that she had found a job at the Front Theater in Liepāja. This news prompted Veidt to apply to the theater. because his condition was not improving, the army allowed him to join the theater so he could entertain the soldiers. While working in the theater, his relationship with Lucie ended. In 1916 he was examined by the army again and found unfit for service; On January 10, 1917, he was granted full parole. Conrad returned to Berlin where he was accepted back into the Deutsches Theater. There he played a small role as a priest which earned him a favorable review - the reviewer hoped that "God would save Veidt from the cinema" but luckily this did not happen.

One of his first and most important films was the role of a sleepwalker in "Das Cabinet Des Dr. Caligari" (1920) directed by Robert Wiene, which became a classic of German and expressionist cinema. The film also changed a lot in cinematography and was quite controversial for its time, but now it is well known to us and appreciated by every fan of cinematography. he also first starred in the film "Anders als die Andern" (1919) in which Conrad and Reinhold Schünzel played the main roles. All copies of the film were corrupted by the Nazis because the homosexuality depicted in the film was considered a disease at that time. Currently, only a small part of the film can be watched, that is, the part of the film that was saved. In 1924, he played in the film "Orlac's Hands" based on the book by Maurice Renard. It's time for Conrad's great success outside Europe. In 1928, he played the role of Gwynplaine in the film "The Man Who Laughs" based on the book by Victor Hugo (I recommend watching the film, it's really great. Conrad's role in this film influenced culture, Joker's appearance is inspired by the Veidt. Of course, it is worth mentioning roles in horror films, e.g. "Der Student Von Prag" (1926) and "Das Wachsfigurenkabinett" (1924). He also starred in the first German film with sound. "Das Land ohne Frauen" (1929). At the end of the 20s he went to Hollywood where he played a few roles, but with the advent of sound in films he had to give up acting in America and returned to Germany. During this time, he became a teacher for many aspiring artists, including Lisa Golm.Interesting fact: the role of Dracula was written specifically for Conrad, but Veidt was afraid that his English was too poor, instead the role of Dracula was played by Béla Lugosi, whose English was not better.

Veidt did not support the Nazi regime and sent funds to help the British during the German Blitz bombings. Shortly after the Nazi Party took power in Germany in March 1933, Joseph Goebbles purged the film industry of political opponents and Jews. In April 1933, a week after Cornad's wedding to Prager, a Jewish woman also known as "Lilli", they emigrated to Britain before any action could be taken against them. Goebbles imposed a "race questionnaire" in which every actor employed in Germany had to declare his "race" in order to continue working. When Veidt filled out the questionnaire, he answered the question about his race by writing "Jew." Veidt was not of Jewish origin, but his wife was, and Veidt would not abandon the woman he loved so much or cooperate with the regime, as many others did. Veidt was against anti-Semitism and showed it publicly and said it loudly. he supported Jews who were deprived of German citizenship in the spring of 1933. Conrad was informed that if he got a divorce and declared support for the new regime, he would still be able to operate in Germany, which he rejected because, as he claimed, nothing could cause him to divorce Lilli. After arriving in United Kingdom, Veidt improved his English and starred in the original anti-Nazi films The Wandering Jew (1933) and Jew Süss (1934). On February 25, 1939, he received British citizenship. During this time, Conrad made films in both French and English.

I think these are the key and important moments in Conrad Veidt's life.

Trivia

Conrad, through his lawyers, gave children locked in shelters in London 2,000 tins of sweets, 2,000 large packets of chocolate and 1,000 gift envelopes in the form of British currency. all to improve their mood during the Christmas :)

Veidt helped his parents-in-law from Austria get to Switzerland and in 1935 he managed to obtain permission from the Nazi government for his ex-wife and their daughter to move to Switzerland. He also offered to help Felizitas' mother ( his ex-wife's mother), Frau Radke, leave Germany. but she refused, saying "no damn little Asutrian Nazi corporal will make me leave my house." Apparently she survived the war, but Corad never saw her again.

"There are two different kinds of men. There are the men men, what do you call them, the man's man, who likes men around, who prefers to talk with men, who says the female can never be impersonal, who takes the female lightly, as playthings. I do not see a man like that in my mirror. Perhaps, it is because I think the female and the male attract better than two men, that I prefer to talk with females. I do. I find it quite as stimulating and distinctly more comfortable. I have a theory about this - it all goes back to the mother complex. In every woman, the man who looks may find - his mother. The primary source of all his comfort. I think also that females have become too important just to play with. When men say the female cannot discuss impersonally, that is no longer so. When it is said that females cannot be geniuses, that is no longer so, either. The female is different from the male. Because she was born to be a mother. There is no doubt about that. But that does not mean that, in some cases, she is not also born a genius. Not all males are geniuses either. And among females today there are some very fine actresses, very fine; fine doctors, lawyers, even scientists and industrialists. I see no fault in any female when she wears slacks, smokes (unless it is on the street, one thing, the only thing, which I don't like), when she drives a car... when men say things like "I bet it is a woman driving" if something is wrong with the car ahead - no, no. These are old, worn out prejudices, they do not belong in today"

~°~

Conrad died on April 3, 1943 from heart disease.

(Sorry for any mistakes, remember I'm not from an English-speaking country, the information comes from Wikipedia and various websites that you can easily find :)

[pippin-katz]

Reference To Heathers In Dead Boy Detectives

I was going through some of my notebooks and journals yesterday, and I found a composition notebook I got from a concert-style performance of Heathers: The Musical. It has yellow typewriter-style stickers on it that says the very first line of the show.

"September 1st, 1989: Dear Diary..."

My brain buffered so hard I gasped out loud. Obviously, that's the same year Charles died. At first, I was like, "Oh that's a cool coincidence!"

But then my brain went deeper, because I have seen and reblogged a piece of fanart of the Dead Boys with a caption referencing a quote from the film that was turned into a musical number: "I love my dead, gay son."

For those who are confused as hell, probably cause you're unfamiliar with the film/show, this is when I started to think it might not be a coincidence, and I'll explain why!

Brad & Hunter = Ram & Kurt

Anyone who knows Heathers is probably starting to be like, "OMG that's a great comparison!" But I'm not sure if this is just a comparison, or actually a hidden reference to Heathers.

⚠️ Warning! ⚠️ Heathers is a black comedy, also referred to as a dark comedy or morbid humor, meaning it makes light of subject matter that is generally considered taboo, particularly subjects that are normally considered serious or painful to discuss. TW: suicide, murder, attempted nonconsensual sex, homophobia Short Synopsis of Heathers: Veronica tries to join a toxic clique of three girls named Heather who rule high school. A new bad boy named Jason Dean, JD for short, arrives at the school. The two of them develop a relationship that leads to the murders and coverups of several of their incredibly toxic classmates.

(For those who want more specifics, to better understand the movie, keep reading. For those who don't need or want to read it, skip down to where the text turns back to the end of the parathesis and the text goes back to normal size.

Veronica was a nobody, but is gradually being inducted into the Heathers group. There are three Heathers: Heather Chandler, Heather Duke, and Heather McNamara. Veronica is an excellent forger, able to replicate hand writing. JD is new to school and gets sought out at lunch by the two biggest jocks, Ram and Kurt. They try to intimidate him, but it backfires because he pulls out a handgun. He shoots at them with blank bullets, scaring the shit out of them.

JD is a deeply traumatized and troubled person due to his shitty father, and the fact that his mother committed suicide in front of him when he was a kid by entering a building she knew was about to be demolished by her husband's construction company. His view on humanity is skewed and grim, and he can get violent when provoked or angered. He believes in extreme action to a sociopathic level, in this case, removing the problematic people who are the root of the toxicity in order to make a happier society.

Veronica and JD get into a relationship after she fights with Heather Chandler at a party. They go over to her house in the morning to suck up to her, but it ends in her death (will be explained). To cover it up, Veronica forges a suicide note.

JD sees it as a win, because with her gone and the contents of her fake suicide note, everyone is starting to be nicer to each other and be more open about their feelings. Veronica is torn up because she accidentally killed her "best friend" and "worst enemy", and also sees JD's point.

It spirals from there, but that should be enough specifics of the plot and characters for you to understand the rest of the essay better, at least in the sense of the tone of the film.)

Heather Chandler, the first victim, was killed because Veronica accidentally gave her toxic sink cleaner JD had joked about giving her instead of the hangover cure they're concocting. They stage it as a suicide so they don't get in trouble, but Veronica is a bit shaken, obviously. It was an accident, at least for her; JD saw her pick up the wrong mug and chose not to tell her.

The next victim, or victims, is a pair of jocks who are the coolest guys on the football team, Ram Sweeney and Kurt Kelly. They sexually assault Veronica (unsuccessfully), lie about it to the school newspaper, claiming they had a threesome to humiliate her. She's upset, JD is furious, and they are the most toxic guys in the school. JD comes up with the idea to "prank" them; they'll "shoot" them and make it look like a gay suicide pact with a note and stereotypical gay items, humiliating them when they wake up. This is the '80s, so homophobia was super common.

Veronica thinks they're going to use fake bullets on them, but JD obviously lies and puts real bullets in the guns. They do the "prank", JD kills Ram, but Veronica misses Kurt. She's laughing because they scared the shit out of them, but JD chases him down to finish the job. She realizes Ram is not unconscious, but dead, and JD kills Kurt as well. They stage it as a gay suicide pact in order not to get caught, again.

A funeral is held for the two boys, and in the film, one of their father's goes up to the casket and tearfully declares he's not going to be homophobic anymore, ending with the line: "I love my dead, gay son."

A line so iconic that it got an entire musical number in the musical adaptation, with the line being the title and part of the chorus. It is absolutely hilarious.

Now, let's break that down into a simplified list:

two jocks who the coolest members on their team

said jocks have a reputation of mistreating girls

said mistreatment of girls leads to their murder

said murder is covered up by making it look like something self-induced

said murder is also committed unintentionally with the goal simply to make them unconscious

The fifth episode of Dead Boy Detectives is the same thing in a different font! Brad and Hunter were to two most popular jocks, on the baseball team rather than football team. They treated girls horribly, something Ram and Kurt were also notorious for. It's because of the way they treated Maren that they end up being killed, just like Ram and Kurt's treatment of Veronica is the cause for their deaths. Both of the murders are made to look self-induced, an intentional suicide pact for Ram and Kurt, and an accidental alcohol poisoning for Brad and Hunter. Both murders are also not intended to be murders by the girls behind them; Veronica and Maren both believe that they will only be knocking them out, not killing them.

That is a lot of specific parallels!

But what makes me even more suspicious of it being intentional is the fact that Twitchy Richie literally says, "But I also heard they died in a secret gay suicide pact."

Back in the '80s? Unfortunately somewhat common, that's why they used in Heathers. It was made in the '80s and takes place in the '80s. Veronica and JD used it because it was easy to believe, and unlikely to draw suspicion. Back then, if something looked like a suicide, complete with a forged note, props, and whatnot, they tended not to bother investigating further; that's especially believable for a gay suicide since homophobia was so high.

Now? Definitely wouldn't be one of the first explanations you would think of. If a pair of guys died in a car accident, or surfing, or an activity they are doing together, and they did not have any indicators of it being suicide and/or queer (straight dudes Brad and Hunter's alcohol poisoning), I'm pretty sure "secret gay suicide pact" would not come up in the conversation by anyone other than conspiracy theorists, or dickheads like Richie. Crystal even refers to him bringing it up and making the "giving each other hand jobs" comment as him making "gay jokes". It's not even remotely considered to be an actual theory. He said it just to be an asshole.

There's also a small correlation that the only other victim in Heathers is Heather Chandler. Of the three victims, she's the only girl, and she also "commits suicide", at least in the eyes of the public. There is a third death relating to Brad and Hunter's case: Shelby. She's the singular female victim who actually commits suicide.

That is just too many similarities and parallels for it to be a coincidence, right? This all has to be an intentional nod to Heathers, right??

(ko-fi)

[buckysgrace]

One

Part two of Cruel Summer!! Will continue to include stepcest, smut, violence and drug/alcohol abuse

September 6th 1985

Friday’s were becoming Kim’s favorite day. 

Susan always worked a double and Max usually ended up at El’s house. That left the trailer solely for Kim and Billy. She craved alone time with him. She craved any time that she didn’t pretend to not be with him. She was growing frustrated with being in such a small house and being unable to touch him. 

Her mind felt scattered as she stared at the clock on the wall, willing for the remaining hours to go by faster than what they were. Study hall was dragging on as Kim pictured the different things she’d do with Billy tonight. 

“Hey,” Robin leaned forward, her elbow resting on Kim’s desk and a smile forming on her lips, “Steve and I were going to hang out later, maybe you want to join us?” Kim fumbled with her pencil for a moment before she sat it down across her desk. She paused for a moment, trying to think of an excuse. 

This was the second time that Robin had invited her to hang out and Kim would once again be rejecting her. It had nothing to do with Robin’s crush, rather that she didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity to have alone time with Billy. She felt like she didn’t get that much time with him anymore.

“Oh,” Kim smiled kindly, “My mom needs me to help her around the house. I can’t tonight.” It wasn’t an exact lie. Susan’s arm was still in a cast, but that didn’t stop her from working. She had two jobs this time as she tried to keep up with the bills. It made Kim feel bad, like she wasn’t doing enough to help. 

“Is she feeling any better?” Robin questioned gently, “You know, is her arm healing right?” Kim nodded her head but began to think about how Susan had started drinking. She wasn’t acting her normal, but claimed that the alcohol helped in a way the pills didn’t. Kim couldn’t find it in herself to fight with Susan about it. Every time she tried to suggest something else Susan got bitter and snappy. 

“Oh, yeah I think so,” Kim responded as she tucked her hair behind her ears, “She doesn’t act like it hurts as bad.” She lied as she began to fiddle with her pencil again. She was giving Susan a lot of excuses for why she was behaving the way she was. 

“Steve could drop you off.” Robin’s face brightened as her fingers tapped against Kim’s eraser. Kim felt her eyes widening, unsure if that was the best idea. Billy still clearly hated him and she really didn’t want him to think that she was willingly hanging out with Steve. 

“Oh, well Billy usually gets me,” She replied quickly, “He just works later today.” He always closed up the garage on Friday’s, but she had no issue with that. She liked walking there. Sometimes it felt like it cleared her mind. She would usually curl up on the guest chairs as she waited for him to finish. She liked watching him work and she was sure it was from her fascination with his hands. He had a special way about using them. 

“We could drop you off there,” Robin grinned like it was a great idea, “Come on, look at the way it’s pouring rain. You don’t want to walk in this.” Kim glanced towards the window, looking at the way the rain was dancing off of the glass. The whole school had seemed gloomier today because of the storm that seemed stuck on top of them. Kim thought deeply for a moment. She was sure she could try to wait out the storm, or attempt to get a hold of Billy once school ended. She temporarily considered asking Addi, but figured that showing up with Eddie would be just as bad as riding with Steve. 

“Okay,” Kim drew out softly, “I could take the ride.” She confirmed, watching the way Robin’s lips curled into a deep smile. She felt bad suddenly, hoping she wasn’t leading Robin on. Kim had tried her best to set clear boundaries between the two of them, trying to reinforce that they were only friends. She honestly didn’t know how to do that without revealing what she knew.

“Miss Buckley, I do believe your desk is facing forward,” Mr. Coleman spoke loudly to the otherwise quiet classroom. Kim felt her face burn, mirroring Robin’s as she quickly swiveled around. Kim smiled bashfully, pretending that she was focusing on her math homework, “Thank you.” Kim stared at the numbers on her paper as she took a deep breath, trying to change the focus in her mind.

The back of her neck began to prickle as she rubbed the back of her neck, feeling like her hair may begin standing up straight. She glanced towards her left, only to meet Jason’s cold eyes. She froze for a moment, taking in the intense way he was staring at her before she looked back down at her paper. She bit down on her bottom lip, trying to will her beating heart to slow down. It was clear what he still thought about her.

She slumped forward on her desk, resting her left elbow on the table and her hand on her cheek so her hair could hide the rest of her away. She inhaled sharply as she pretended to work on her paper, hoping that she could ignore that Jason was still clearly looking at her. 

The bell couldn’t come fast enough for Kim. She packed up quickly, swinging her backpack over her shoulders quickly as she bolted from the room first. She supposed she should’ve asked where to meet Robin, but she didn’t care about that at the moment. She felt like she needed distance between her and Jason, before she really started to freak out.

She walked a few hallways over until her familiar locker pulled into view. She opened it, temporarily taken aback by her reflection in the mirror. She looked at her wide eyes and panic stricken features. She inhaled deeply, trying to relax her nerves as she reminded herself that nothing would happen. Jason could stare as much as he wanted, but she was sure that he would never really mess with her again. 

“Hey,” Addi approached her as Kim emptied the books in her locker into her bag, “What are you doing tomorrow?” Kim huffed out a spurt of air to get the hair from her face. Addi crossed her arms as she leaned against the locker next to Kim’s. 

“I’m not for sure,” Kim admitted, knowing that she’d probably do something with Billy, “I’ll probably clean up the house a bit. Maybe do the grocery shopping for my mom.” She shrugged her shoulders as she pulled her backpack up over her arms. Addi bit her bottom lip, like she was considering if it was safe to share her thoughts. 

“I miss you,” Addi admitted, “I feel like I never see you anymore.” She rubbed her arm as she spoke. Kim felt bad suddenly, thinking that it had been a while since they’d done anything alone. They had a few classes together and shared the same lunch period, but hadn’t ventured out further than that. There was still something unspoken between them, an odd tension that neither could seem to solve at the moment. 

“I know,” Kim told her honestly, trying not to feel guilty at her words, “It’s just been busy around the house.” Kim wasn’t lying about her statement. Kim had taken over most of the housework, as Susan either complained about being too tired or in too much pain to handle much else. Part of Kim wondered if it had to do with the drinking as well. It made Susan act like a completely different person. She wasn’t as happy. Most nights she didn’t even make it into her room. Usually they’d wake up to find her passed out on the couch, if she even made it that far. 

“With Billy?” Addi questioned underneath her breath as she raised a dark eyebrow on her forehead. Kim stiffened for a moment as she glanced around the emptying hallway. Kim gnawed on her bottom lip for a moment. 

“He works a lot,” Kim defended Billy after a brief pause, “Mom just isn’t in the best place right now.” She told Addi slowly, not feeling safe enough to reveal her family secrets in these hallways. The nasty looks she had received from Jason and his friends since school had started left her feeling uneasy. Addi nodded her head, waiting a moment as she walked

“Eddie’s terrified of him,” Addi admitted as they continued to walk towards the exit. Kim thought for a moment before she realized she had no words to reassure Addi. Billy hadn’t said anything else about the subject, but she had noticed the irritation that grew on his features anytime he heard the sound of Eddie’s van, “We should have a day without boys.” Addi suggested, bumping her shoulder against Kim’s. She smiled, like there was no tension between the two of them. 

“I’d like that,” Kim said as she thought for a moment, “Saturday will be the last day the pool is open, we could hang out there for a while?” She asked, thinking that it would be fun to swim last time. She thought it would be a nice bittersweet memory, considering they spent the beginning of their summer lounging around the pool. She thought it would be nice to end it the same way. 

“I thought Billy still works there on weekends?” Addi cocked an eyebrow again, looking at Kim with an amused smile. Kim blanched for a moment, the thought of Billy being there being overlooked on her behalf. They paused near the double doors, watching as the rain continued to pour down. 

“Yeah,” Kim felt a bit embarrassed as she tugged on her hair, “I guess you’re right.” She muttered underneath her breath, feeling a bit dumb for suggesting the pool. She began to think quickly again, wondering if a trip to the pool would suffice. 

“That’s fine,” Addi shrugged her shoulders as if she had thought it all through again that quickly, “We can hang there. I could meet you at noon?” Kim nodded her head, figuring that would work. She may have to go a bit earlier, depending on what time Billy worked. She didn’t mention that, wondering if she seemed too reliant on him. 

“Sure,” Kim grinned, “I can’t wait.” Kim glanced outside again, looking at how there seemed to be clouds of steam rising off from the pavement. She figured the rain must be very cold and the ground very warm for it to be doing that. 

“Do you need a ride?” Addi asked as she crossed her arms, watching as a van approached. Kim bit her lip, figuring that it would’ve been more comfortable to ride with Addi and Eddie. She glanced over her shoulder, wondering if she had already missed Robin. 

“Actually,” Kim drew in a slow breath, “I’m supposed to hitch a ride with Robin and Steve.” She turned to smile at her friend, suddenly remembering that she had never told Addi about what she had found out. She felt her smile faltering for a moment, realizing that it wasn’t a secret she should share. She wasn’t sure how Addi would react to something like that and she didn’t want to expose Robin. 

“Oh,” Addi smiled a bit teasingly, like she was considering that Kim might still have feelings for Steve, “Will Billy like that?” She nudged Kim again, looking too playful. Kim rubbed her arm softly, still feeling like she had Neil’s hands on her. 

“It’s just a ride,” Kim shrugged her shoulders, feeling her face burn at Addi’s suggestion, “It’s not that big of a deal.” She reasoned with Addi, although it felt like it was more towards herself at this point. She knew Billy didn’t like Steve, but she was sure he’d be fine with one car ride. She gnawed on her bottom lip, thinking that if she showed up drenched he’d just start talking about how she needed to get her driver’s license again. 

“Alright,” Addi raised a hand down the hallway and Kim watched as Robin approached, dragging along a very large suitcase. Addi smiled at Kim again, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She reminded Kim, smiling brightly before she was pushing the door open and rushing through the pouring rain. Kim smiled as Robin approached, watching the way her blue eyes were gleaming. 

“Ready?” Robin questioned, linking her arm with Kim’s. Kim felt her cheeks burning again, wondering if this was a friendly gesture or if Robin thought it was something more. She quickly shook her head, feeling bad for thinking such a thought. She turned towards Robin, smiling warmly at her.

“Of course,” She told Robin quickly, wincing as they pushed the doors open. Robin pointed out towards Steve’s car through the steamy rain clouds. She inhaled sharply before she held a hand up, her fingers pressing against her forehead to keep the rain out of her eyes. She yelped, scurrying with Robin as the cold rain poured onto her skin. She rushed forward, stepping through the deep puddles, “Oh shoot.” She shivered as she struggled with the door handle for a second before it opened. 

She held the door open wide, her eyebrows crinkling as the cold rain continued to pound against her skin. Robin yelped as she quickly shoved her band instrument into the backseat. Robin smiled awkwardly before she rushed towards the passenger seat. Kim hopped into the back, shivering as the cold air conditioning tickled against her skin, drawing goosebumps. 

“Hey,” Steve turned in the seat to look back at her, “I didn’t think you’d join us.” Kim felt shy for a moment, unsure of how she was supposed to speak to Steve now. She wondered how much he had told Robin from their previous conversation, or if he had mentioned anything at all. She suddenly panicked, wondering if Robin still thought that she was into women. Kim quickly vowed to herself that she would never drink again. 

“Shut up,” Robin quickly turned to him, hushing him, “I told her it was pointless to walk in this.” Robin gestured around to the rain that was continuing to pour down around them. Kim nodded her head, hoping that Steve wasn’t putting any thoughts in his head. She inhaled softly, wishing she was allowed to be in public with Billy. Everything would be so much easier if she could be his girlfriend in public. 

“Yeah. Thanks,” Kim brushed her damp hair off of her forehead as she glanced towards Steve, “I appreciate it.” She mumbled, her cheeks burning as she began to feel awkward as she slipped into her shell. She wasn’t sure if she had ever  been alone with Steve and Robin before. A few months ago, she would’ve killed for this moment.

“It’s fine,” Steve glanced towards her in the rearview mirror, “To the trailer park?” She furrowed her eyebrows together in confusion, until she figured that Max must’ve told him that they’d moved. She hoped that Max hadn’t said too much. She was sure that Billy would be irritated if Steve knew the full truth. Kim couldn’t understand it, but Billy still thought of himself as weak. She tried to avoid talking about Neil as it had become a sensitive topic throughout the whole house. 

“No,” She fiddled with her hair again, hoping that her request wouldn’t seem odd, “The older car garage down Main Street.” She referenced softly. His brown eyes moved back into the mirror, a hint of curiosity hidden deep within. She tugged on her hair, hoping she could brush off any accusations. 

“Is that where Billy works?” Steve questioned her softly. She nodded her head, worried that he could become suspicious, “I do need an oil change.” He mumbled underneath his breath. She sighed deeply in relief as she realized Steve was just thinking of a way to mess with Billy. It was better than him being suspicious of the two of them. 

“You’re such an idiot,” Robin rolled her eyes dramatically as she looked back to Kim, “He’s just teasing.” Kim didn’t miss the sharp look that Robin sent towards Steve. Kim grinned to herself, nodding as she turned to look out the window. 

She settled in as Robin and Steve began to discuss something in great detail. She felt like she didn’t have the attention span to try and keep up with what they were saying. She felt her own grin forming as she thought about Billy again. Excitement was pooling inside of her stomach as she rubbed her knees together as she fell into deep thought. 

It had been tense trying to sneak around the house with Billy. Max had stayed true to her word and other than to grab a change of clothes, never came inside the bedroom. Despite that, they hardly got any alone time. Susan was always barging in, always needing something or searching for something else. She never acted like she was suspicious, but she was beginning to wonder if she might be. 

The other issue arose with their schedules. They really weren’t that different, but the school work for this year was much more difficult than Kim had originally thought it would be. Most nights she was up late finishing up homework, meanwhile Billy would be passed out from being exhausted from how often he was working. She didn’t like that he was putting in so many hours, it made her worry that he’d eventually be too burnt out to do anything. 

“Do you want me to park closer?” Steve questioned as he pulled into the gravel room. She shook her head as she moved towards the edge of the seat. She tugged her backpack over her shoulders again.

“This is fine,” She told him honestly. Robin turned to look back at her, her blue eyes holding a bit of longing in them. Kim swallowed hard, hoping that she wasn’t leading Robin on. She quickly brushed away her thoughts as she smiled back at Robin, “I’ll see you around. Thank you for the ride.” She added softly as she pulled the door handle open. She squealed again as the cold water hit her skin as she rushed towards the front doors. It was raining so hard that she was sure her socks and shoes would be soaked. 

She was greeted with the smell of oil and musk as she pushed the large door open. She looked around, listening to the sound of clanking as Billy’s loud music filled the otherwise quiet garage. She slowly tugged her bag off of her shoulders, resting it on the seats as she walked towards him. 

The sound of the door shutting drew his attention away from the task at hand. She grinned, once again pushing her wet hair from her face as Billy pushed himself out from underneath the car. She stared at the way his hair was pulled back, at the sweat on his skin as he rose from his low chair. He exhaled as he walked towards her, wiping his greasy palms against his uniform. 

“Hi,” She drew out softly as she ran her fingers across the front of his uniform. His cheeks were reddened from the heat, sweat collecting on his forehead as he wiped his forearm across his skin so he wouldn’t smear the grease from his hands, “How was work?” She asked, watching the way he took a step back to drink from his water bottle. She stared, watching the way the liquid trickled down the corner of his lips. 

“Hot,” He chuckled when he pulled his lips away from his cup. She stared for what felt like the longest time as he glanced towards her, “Did you have a good day at school?” He asked between another gulp of water. Kim nodded her head, her eyes lingering against the drops of water that dripped down his chin. She moved towards him, her body reacting on its own. 

She leaned forward, licking away the remnants of water from the corner of his lips. She slowly dragged her tongue along his skin, tasting the mixture of sweat and water. He hesitated for a moment, his lips parting temporarily before he gently tugged her away.

“I’ve got to finish this,” He said briskly as he turned away from her. She watched, her stomach clenching in anticipation as he positioned himself back onto the trolley chair. She found herself moving closer, watching the way he disappeared underneath the car, “Then we can head out.”

“What do you have to do?” She asked, even though she knew she’d have no idea what he was talking about. She squatted down, looking down curiously as he messed underneath the car. He was too far underneath for her to actually see his face.

“Tightening some bolts,” He muttered as he began to twist the wrench around. She hesitated for a moment before she crawled over his thighs, and straddled his lap, “What are you doing?” He paused his movements, sounding a bit more serious as he began to roll backwards so he was no longer underneath the car. She giggled as her shoes dragged along with his motions. 

“Missed you,” She said simply, feeling as if she was purring as her nails brushed along his uniform, “You can keep working.” She told him earnestly, knowing that she had no issue in doing all of the work. She thought that he looked too tense, that he deserved some time to relax. He sat up a bit and she wondered just how uncomfortable the chair must be.

“Kim,” He chuckled as his hands found her waist, “It won’t take long to finish this.” He responded quickly, but he had the same lustful look in his eyes that she felt deep within her chest. She bit down on her bottom lip, feeling a bit cheekier than usual. She blamed it on the lack of their sex life at the moment. 

“No one will know,” She giggled softly, “It’s fine. You look so handsome right now.” She breathed out quickly as her fingers found the buttons to his gray uniform. She looked up at him curiously, waiting for him to tell her no. He watched her for a long moment as her fingers brushed against his top button. He breathed out roughly as he nodded his head quickly, waiting for her to continue. She felt a giddy smile forming as she went to quick work.

“You really are a whore,” He grinned devilishly as he lifted her skirt up over her hips and roughly tugged her panties aside, “Don’t tease me.” He smacked her ass harshly, the sound echoing in the room. She bit her lip as she slowly pulled his uniform down, breathing in deeply as her fingertips brushed along his golden skin. 

“I want you so badly,” She told him quickly, feeling a strong desire to have him buried deep inside of her, “It’s been so long.” She responded quickly as her dainty hand wrapped around his thick cock. She moaned to herself as she slowly pumped his throbbing cock in her hand. She stared at the precum that was forming against his tip, feeling a deep desire to lean down and lick it away.

“Yeah?” He grunted out softly, his blue eyes darkening as he watched the way her hand moved up the length of his cock, “You could’ve had me.” He reminded her. She felt her cheeks beginning to flush as she shifted her hips closer towards his cock, her walls already clenching at the thought of having him deep inside of her. 

“I was on my period,” She whined softly, licking away the saliva from her lips, “It’s messy.” She quickly reminded him, watching the way his lips parted as if he was going to argue again. She rolled her hips forward suddenly, pressing his tip along her wet cunt to hush him. He breathed out roughly, his argument forgotten as she slowly slid his throbbing cock inside of her.

She felt her lips parting in bliss as he stretched her slowly. She rested one hand against his knees, squeezing tightly as his cock filled her deeply. She whimpered, rolling her body until she was adjusted around him. She moved her hand away from his balls, moving it back so both were resting on his knees. She found herself moaning louder as she began to roll her hips along the length of his cock. 

“Hey, hey,” He grinned as he pressed her hips down until she was sitting fully. She tried to wiggle again but he kept her still, “Stop it.” He said, sounding more fierce this time. She exhaled deeply, feeling a whine settling deep in the bottom of her chest. 

“Why?” She did her best to keep from whining, wanting nothing more than to feel her walls clenching tightly around his cock. She fluttered her eyelashes, feeling like every time she exhaled he slid deeper inside of her drenched cunt. 

“I can’t finish this if you’re moving,” He smirked, looking pleased with himself as her face fell, “Just sit there and warm my cock. I’m almost done.” He smacked her ass again as his dirty hands rubbed along her pale skin. She thought that his idea sounded like torture. 

“I can’t,” She whined pathetically, “I need you so bad.” She nodded her head in an attempt to convince him. He simply shook his head, looking all too used to her antics as he moved his hands away from her. 

“Then you’ll listen and behave,” He grinned as he slowly moved himself back underneath the car, “We have all night. There’s no need to rush.” She huffed and moved her hands back along his warm chest, hoping that he might change his mind as she dragged her nails along his skin. He simply hummed to his music as the sound of his wrench filled the garage again.

She shifted again, just soft enough to earn a grunt from him. She sent him a sly smile, feigning her own innocence as she adjusted back onto his lap. She bit her lip hard, fighting the urge to roll her hips forward. She could feel her wetness dripping along the length of his cock, begging for him to thrust his hips forward. 

“Please,” She begged again, feeling like she may lose her mind, “I want you.” She pleaded again, wanting so desperately to move against him. She was smart enough to realize that if she didn’t listen to him that he would relentlessly tease her for the rest of the night. She didn’t want that either. 

“I’m working,” He reminded herminded her gruffly, not even sparing a glance in her direction, “You need to respect that.” She bit her lip, trying to keep from arguing with him. She rubbed her nails across his uniform, inhaling sharply to try and calm the throbbing that was growing inside of her body.

She kept quiet, holding back her own moans as Billy continued to work. She was biting her bottom lip hard, trying to ignore the way his cock was fluttering inside of her each time he moved his hands to work. She was beginning to believe that he was doing it on purpose, just trying to drive her up to her breaking point. She swore he was working slower, just trying to drive the minutes up.

She squeaked as he finally moved back out from underneath the car. He grinned at the sounds that left her mouth before his messy hands were smacking her bottom, “Up.” He commanded as he lightly gripped her flesh to give her a boost onto her feet. 

“What?” She looked at him in disbelief, her eyebrows furrowing together like she couldn’t believe what he had just said. Her cunt was aching, crying at the thought of not feeling him moving inside of her wet walls. 

“I’m done,” He said simply, “Let’s go home.” He chuckled, sitting up as he pushed her off of his hard cock gently. She whimpered at the loss, her cunt clenching around air as he stood her up. She stared at him, feeling frustration building inside of her tummy. 

“You’re mean,” She breathed out sharply, watching the way he was beginning to look like he would laugh, “And very cruel.” She told him in a matter of fact way. She didn’t understand how he could easily tease her. She wanted him so badly and couldn’t understand how he didn’t want the same thing. 

“Sorry, baby,” He pressed a gentle kiss to her bottom lip that was beginning to grow into a pout, “You know you love it.”

///////////

“What do you want for dinner?” Billy asked as he walked back into the room, fresh from his shower. She stared at his freshly cleaned skin, her eyes lingering against the smooth skin on his chest. She drew her eyes up slowly, her lips melting into a smile as his warmth filled the room. “Nothing yet,” She grinned, resting her chin on her interlocked fingers as Billy continued to squeeze the moisture out of his hair with a towel, “I’m not hungry.” She added softly as she swiveled in her chair. She hoped that he would get the hint, that she was still craving something else. 

“You don’t want food?” He looked at her curiously as he glanced towards the clock on the wall. It wasn’t that late, just barely hitting 5:30. They could cook something later, she was craving something entirely different that he had just barely given her a taste of. 

“No,” She bit her lip softly, “Not yet.” She hinted softly again, hoping that he would initiate what she wanted. He looked at her curiously for a moment as her body warmed, her heart thumping harshly inside of her chest. He walked around the counter, a knowing smirk placing on his lips as he approached her. 

“What do you want?” He grinned, tilting her chin up towards him. She shrugged her shoulders, growing shy again, “Come on. Use your words.” His thumb pressed against her bottom lip, just slightly pouting it before he released her lip. She flicked her tongue across where his skin had met hers, watching the way his eyes flickered as he gazed down at her. 

“I want you.” She told him truthfully, knowing there was more than one meaning. She could feel herself pressing her thighs closer together, her lust growing insatiable as she desperately craved to skip the little game that was happening at the moment. He grinned, looking like he wanted to see just how far he could push her before she lost control. 

“You have me.” He reminded her as he drew his finger down the curve of her neck. She breathed out slowly, her skin growing tingly from where he touched. She kept her eyes drawn towards his face as he looked down at her neck as his fingers pressed against the ring that rested there. She inhaled sharply, feeling a sense of confidence growing inside of her. 

“I want your cock,” She admitted bashfully, her face only growing warmer as his eyes snapped up towards her, “I want to feel you inside me.” She spit out quickly, watching the wolfish grin that formed on his lips. His fingers moved against her skin again, sliding until they were curved around her neck.

“Oh you do?” He drew out hotly, his warm breath fanning over her skin as he pulled her closer to him, “I think that makes you a slut.” His eyes lingered against her plump lips, watching the way she licked her bottom lip before he looked back into her hazel eyes. She found her lips curling up into a smile.

“I can’t help it,” She told him honestly, liking the way his large hand fit around her neck, “I just need you so bad. All the time.” She breathed out, feeling like she was soaking her panties. He hummed, his eyes glazing over her for another moment before he was tugging her up against him. A whimper slipped free as his lips slid against hers harshly. She moved just as urgently, her lips pressing against his sloppily as she tried to keep up with his movements.

He pulled away briskly, just enough that he was able to tug her shirt up over her head. His fingers moved to unstrap her bra as his lips hovered against her parted mouth. She breathed out slowly as he pulled the straps down her shoulders. She giggled shyly, nearly going to cover herself before he was tugging her hands down again.

“Pretty,” He mumbled as he rubbed his thumb along her hardening nipple. Her face burned as his warm hands cupped her boobs. She pushed her hair out of her face, unsure of how to respond before he was kissing her again. She melted against him, his compliment warming her whole body, “Want you too.” He spoke huskily, his lips moving against hers.

Her hands moved against his chest, soaking in his warmth as he loosely guided them into the living room. She pressed her fingers into the hem of her skirt, hurriedly discarding it and her panties as he fell back against the couch. They both rushed to pull at his pants, urgently tugging them down over his hips.

She giggled as he pulled her onto his lap. Her hands rested against his chest as she peered down at him, a smile forming on her face as she pushed his blonde curls from his forehead. She analyzed his features for a moment, happy that his bruises were long gone. He looked up at her, a tenderness wedged in his blue eyes as he admired her. He slowly drew his index finger down the curve of her spine, his lips parting like he was debating about telling her something. She cupped his jaw softly, letting her thumbs rub across his now smooth skin.

“What?” She asked softly, feeling the air rush from her lungs as his blue eyes shot up towards her. She watched the way his eyebrows furrowed together, like he didn’t understand what she was asking, “You looked like you were going to say something.” She mumbled softly, feeling warmth continually spreading through her tummy.

“Just had an idea,” He said softly, his blue eyes shining brightly. She traced her thumbs further, just lightly pressing her fingertips against the corner of his lips. She liked the way his mouth moved as he spoke. She nodded her head, urging him to continue, “Do you want to try a different position?” She looked at him curiously.

“There’s more?” She asked honestly, her ears humming in response from the laugh that came from deep inside of his chest. She grinned, feeling a bit embarrassed even though her question was serious.

“Of course,” He teased her softly and gave her narrow hips a little squeeze, “Turn around.” She bit her lip as she nodded, moving one leg away from his hips. He rubbed her skin softly before he was tugging her back onto his lap. He guided her, leaning her spine against his chest as he spread her legs wide. She could feel her face burning but found no time to protest as he linked his arms underneath her knees and pulled them up towards her chest.

“What are you doing?” She panted out softly, already feeling as if she was being bent in an unknown position. He chuckled as he pressed a kiss against the crook of her neck. She exhaled softly, her heart hammering roughly inside of her chest. 

“You’ll have to slide me in,” He mumbled against her neck. She shivered at his words as she slowly reached between their legs, searching for his hard cock. She giggled as she gripped it, giving it a light squeeze before she brushed his tip against her wet hole. She sighed in relief as she pushed him inside, her walls stretching wide as she gladly took him, “Move your arms back.” He groaned out softly. 

She sighed as he adjusted inside of her, bottoming out completely as she rested against him again. She drew her arms back, too taken over by the pleasure that was traveling up her spine to notice that he was tugging her knees up higher towards her chest. She gaped as he shifted her, easily picking her up until her knees were pressed up against her shoulder blades. He held onto the back of her neck, his rings digging into her skin as he held her in position.

“S’lot,” She spit out at last as her legs burned from the unknown position he had tugged her into. She breathed out harshly, the stretch slowly beginning to fade away as he slowly moved his hips forward. She cried out, already overwhelmed from how intense the position felt. She was breathing in slowly, unable to fully inhale from how he had her bent and twisted, “Feels good.” She whimpered after a second thought. His chest vibrated against her skin as he laughed.

“Does it?” He teased her with a mocking tone as he snapped his hips forward harshly. She felt her mouth dropping in awe as the pleasure tickled deep inside of her stomach and up her spine. She tried to nod her head but was unable to from how his hands were gripping a hold of her neck. 

“Yeah,” She moaned out loudly, her toes curling as her pussy clamped down around his thick cock. She whimpered as his muscular arms squeezed her, pulling her closer together and her legs higher up as he continued to press his cock further inside of her, “Oh my god.” She whined, her head falling back in awe. 

He grunted underneath her, his lips dragging across her smooth skin as he rolled his hips up further inside of her. She gaped, her clit throbbing from all of the pleasure that was coursing inside of her body. He was dragging her along the length of his cock, bouncing her easily as if she weighed nothing. 

“Billy,” She cried out in bliss, her eyes feeling stuck in the back of her head as her feet bounced with his powerful thrusts, “Oh my god! More.” She cried out, pleading with him as he continued to move roughly inside of her. She was whimpering as she licked the drool away from her lips.

“You like that?” His voice was husky and warm as his fingers tightened around the back of her neck, “You sound so pretty around my cock.” He groaned as he dragged his lips over the curve of his spine. She gasped at the feeling of his tongue along her warm skin, the sensation tickling her clear down to her toes.

“It feels so good,” She confirmed with a whine, moving her hands up to grip a hold of elbows. This position didn’t allow for her to hold onto anything else for support. She rolled her head back as his cock pressed deep against her bundle of nerves, knocking loud moans from her lips, “You’re so big.” She whimpered as his hips became more sporadic, rocking them both closer to their orgasm. She exhaled harshly, her chest feeling compressed from the tight position he was holding her in.

The tune of their skin meeting echoed in the room, bouncing off the walls and leaving Kim with a glorious shameful feeling in the pit of her stomach. Her head bobbed with the movements of his cock dragging against her drenched walls. She squeezed at his elbows, her nails beginning to dig into his skin from the pleasure that was traveling up her body. 

“You’re such a little slut, baby sister,” He grunted as he continued to press kisses along her freckled skin, “My little slut.” He confirmed with a deep groan. His muscles flexed against her shoulders as he pressed her down harder onto his cock. She whimpered again at the feeling of his balls pressing against her skin as he fully pressed into her. Her eyes drifted down, taking in the bulge that was pressing against her stomach every time he thrust deeper into her. 

“Love being your slut,” She nodded her head encouragingly, her mind feeling fuzzy from the sensation of his cock pumping into her. Her clit was throbbing, begging for more of him as the muscles in her stomach clenched tightly together. She gnawed on her bottom lip, not yet wishing to finish around him, “Need your cock all the time.” She spit out between rough spurts. 

“Whose cock?” He demanded roughly, his arms clenching tighter around her as he slowed his thrusts down. She moaned in protest, desperately trying to wiggle her body in an attempt to push his cock inside of her again. She was sure that he was smug underneath her, probably smirking at the way she was reacting.

“My big brothers,” She moaned out as she spasmed around him, trying to keep his pulsating cock inside of her needy walls, “Need to feel you all the time.” She told him urgently, wishing she could turn to look at him. She felt the vibrations of his laugh against her back as he slowly began to build up his pace again, huffing loudly as he rammed his cock deep inside of her wet cunt. She whimpered at the feeling of her slick sliding down the length of him, the sound of her pussy squeezing him echoed deep within the room. 

“Such a dirty whore,” He tsked underneath his breath. Kim nearly missed his words as he began to grunt loudly, sounding like he was concentrating as his thrusts became more rough. She felt her head bobbing with his movements, the back of her neck repeatedly hitting against his fingers, “So fucking tight.” He exhaled in bliss.

She found herself jolting at the feeling of his nose pressing against her warm skin. His mustache tickled against her skin, causing goosebumps to erupt as he continued to bounce her along the length of his cock. His tip pressed against her bundle of nerves repeatedly, causing her moans to grow louder from the sensation. 

“Billy,” She found herself chanting as she clamped down around him, her body shaking as he throbbed inside of her, “Oh my god, yes!” She squealed out as her toes curled together in bliss. Her head lolled to the side, nearly topping her over as she came around him. Her whole body curled in bliss, spasming deeply as her orgasm rocked roughly inside of her. 

“Oh fuck,” He was close behind as his thrusts became sporadic, thrusting up rougher and slower as she kept a tight grip along his cock. His arms became tighter around her neck, keeping her in place as his grunts filled the room. He pressed into her fully, his cum spurting deep against her walls as he huffed underneath her, “Fuck, fuck you’re so good for me.” His hands quickly pushed her hair aside as he tilted his head up to kiss along her neck.

Her body slowly relaxed as his grip on the back of her neck released and he slowly let her legs fall back onto him. She panted hard, still resting on top of him as tingles raced up her legs and down her arms. His hands rested against her abdomen, drawing soft circles into her skin as their mixture slid between their legs.

“Tired,” She said at last, when her tongue was finally able to make words, “That was a work out.” She found herself giggling softly but quickly stopped at the sensation of his softening cock moving inside of her. She felt too stimulated to go another round so soon. He chuckled lightly, his tired voice sounding as if he agreed.

“You’re telling me,” He lifted her again, just enough that he could pull his dick out of her. She whimpered as their mixture pooled out between her sore legs. She bit her lip, watching as he reached for his discarded towel and began to clean her up, “I’m starving.” He told her truthfully as he glanced up towards her again.

“We can make something,” She told him, giggling as he leaned down to press his lips against hers, “What sounds good?” She asked him as she adjusted herself onto the sofa again. She looked around the floor, following the trail of their clothes until she looked back at him.

“Spaghetti?” He questioned as he rested his cheek against his knuckles. She smiled towards him, liking how carefree he looked at the moment. She pretended to think about it.

“I think that sounds good,” She moved slowly, her legs burning from the motions as she began to pick her clothes up from the floor. He sighed before he stood, following her same lead. She grinned, glancing back towards him as she fixed her bra, “Tomorrow is your last day at the pool, are you excited?” She questioned him as she began to wash her hands. He shrugged as he slipped his pants on.

“Not really,” He admitted as he joined her at the sink, “I’m going to miss swimming.” He told her honestly. She reached for the towel and began to dry her hands, thinking about how he said winter was alway worse for her. She never minded how the seasons changed, but now she was beginning to grow more worried about it. She wasn’t sure how she’d be able to help him at all, only that she would try. 

“Maybe Tommy can let us use his cabin?” She suggested, thinking that they could handle the colder water until it got too unbearable. Billy smiled softly as he took the towel from her. He leaned against the sink as he wiped his hands dry. 

“He’s in California,” He reminded her with a smile, “Otherwise I would’ve asked already.” He said truthfully. She bit her lip and nodded, remembering how it hadn’t been too long ago that Tommy had left for college. 

“Lucky for him,” She teased as she moved towards the fridge. She pulled out what was left of their hamburger and began to rummage through the rest of the ingredients, “Do you want to start on the noodles?” She asked him as she plopped her ingredients out onto the counter. She bent down, reaching for the various pans as Billy grabbed for the box of noodles.

“I hate that part,” He watched as she began to squish the hamburger together with her hands, molding together little meatballs, “It feels weird.” He shivered, as if he was actually touching it. She looked down at her hands, agreeing that it felt very squishy between her fingers.

“I like it better like this,” She told him as she continued to roll out meatballs, “They’re more fun.” She wasn’t sure if it really made sense, but it did to her. She finished them and moved towards the sink, quickly beginning to scrub her hands with soap and hot water. She jumped, turning to look at him just as his hand left her ass. She grinned towards him, watching as he pulled out a can of tomato sauce. 

“Very gourmet,” Billy agreed as he dumped the canned tomato sauce into the pan. He grinned cheekily towards her, “I bet this is just how the Italians do it.” She giggled softly as he handed her the empty can. She quickly tossed it in the trash can behind her. For a moment she winced, fearing that the spare red liquid would splash from how hard she had tossed it. She was quite pleased when she realized it didn’t happen. 

“I’m sure,” She teased back as he nudged his hip against hers, “I bet it will be the best spaghetti ever.” She drew out slowly, fluttering her eyelashes as she looked towards him. He grinned at her. 

“Anything you make is good,” He leaned forward to press a kiss against her forehead, “I can’t wait to try it.” He told her honestly as she worked on cooking the meatballs. She rolled her eyes playfully, figuring that he was just being sweet to her. His hands rested against her hips as she worked, his lips were humming to the music that was playing on the radio. She turned towards him after some time had passed. 

“How’s it taste?” She blew on the meatball softly before she leaned over, holding the fork out towards him. He placed it in his mouth, taking a full bite as he nodded his head. She inspected him for a moment, trying to read his expressions. 

“Really good,” He told her honestly. His hands moved towards her hips again, giving her a reassuring squeeze as she turned back to the stove, “You did good.” He praised her softly as his fingers traced up the curve of her spine. She felt goosebumps arising from his touch as she temporarily stalled until he was gently pulling at the ends of her hair. 

It didn’t take long for their meal to come together. She was still grinning when Billy made both of their plates and sat it on their small table. She poured herself a glass of ice water before she joined him at the table. Her stomach felt full of butterflies, wondering if this would be similar to their life in the future. 

“I’m going to hang out with Addi at the pool tomorrow,” She said softly as they began to eat, “If you don’t care to give me a ride.” She hinted softly. Billy would be at the pool anyways, surely it wouldn’t matter if they rode together. She was sure Eddie would be driving Addi anyways. 

“I think you should drive us,” He told her seriously, “Then you can take your test.” He stated as he pointed his fork towards her. She watched as his noodles danced off onto his plate. She grinned bashfully at him, fearing that he would eventually drop her off at the testing site and just make her do it. 

“There’s no point,” She shrugged her shoulders after a second thought. Her cheeks still felt warm from his words, “It’s not like I can afford a car of my own anyways.” She told him, feeling a bit realistic with her statement. Even if she had a car, she didn’t know when she’d use it. Billy already took her and picked her up from school every day except Friday afternoons. 

“You can use mine whenever you want.” He suggested again, giving her a knowing look. She tried not to grumble, figuring that his answer would be that. She paused as she twisted the noodles around her fork. She appreciated his offer, but didn’t want to be the reason she ruined something that brought him so much joy. 

“Thank you,” She told him seriously, “But you have a very intense relationship with that car. I don’t want it to come between us if I wreck it.” She teased him gently, but she really did mean her words. She really did hate thinking about taking her driver’s test, however. She could feel her stomach clamp up in nerves each time Billy brought it up. 

“We can find you a cheap one,” Billy chuckled as he leaned over the table to steal one of her meatballs with his fork, “How’s that sound?” He asked as he settled back into his chair. She bit her lip as she considered what he had said. 

“Good,” She shrugged her shoulders softly, fighting to keep from grinning too widely, “I guess I can live with that.” She grinned as she bit into more of her noodles. She thought that it was very sweet how he seemed to be so concerned with her gaining her license. He watched her with a smile before he switched the conversation again. 

“What do you want to do for your birthday?” He asked softly, looking like he was pretending to be nonchalant over the whole ordeal. She set her fork down and linked her fingers in front of her. 

“Oh?” She grinned widely, unable to help herself, “Are you planning something?” She tried to tease him, but was more curious than anything. She could practically feel the excitement growing within her as she tried to keep from bouncing in her chair. 

“Just had an idea.” He said softly, meeting her wide eyes as he took another bite from his plate. She stared, waiting for him to continue. She gaped, horrified that he was keeping her waiting. 

“What idea?” She asked urgently, wanting to know more about what he was planning. She wasn’t the best with surprises and she could feel the excitement eating her alive at the moment. She should’ve known that he was going to try and surprise her with something. 

“Maybe you could skip school next Friday,” He suggested slowly, “I want to take you somewhere for the weekend.” He pushed his plate away, looking as if he couldn’t eat another bite. Kim beamed, leaning closer over the table as she absorbed his words. 

“Yeah?” Her heart was pounding harshly in her chest as she listened to his words, “I’d really like that.” She paused for a moment, thinking of Susan again. She could feel her eyebrows beginning to furrow together as she wondered what her mom would do without her. Billy nudged her underneath the table, gaining her attention again. 

“Don’t,” He shook his head as if she had done something bad, “Don’t question it. We’re going. You need a break too.” He reminded her fiercely. She licked her bottom lip, trying to not be filled with guilt. She didn’t want anything to happen to Susan while she was gone. However, she knew she shouldn’t miss out on such an event with Billy. 

“Okay,” She said softly as she made up her mind, “I just don’t know what I’ll tell my mom.” She admitted briskly. Susan didn’t seem much for negotiating lately. Everything needed to be done in her way. 

“I don’t think she’d even notice,” He said softly, like he was afraid of what her reaction would be, “She drank my last six pack.” He mumbled underneath his breath. Kim felt her eyes widen in surprise at his statement. She didn’t think Susan’s drinking was that bad, but she was beginning to grow more and more unsure. 

“I can get you another,” She offered, feeling bad that Susan had done such a thing, “I didn’t know she did that.” She tucked her hair behind her ears, feeling guilty despite it not being her fault. She wasn’t able to control what Susan did, however, she still felt like it was part of her responsibility. 

“It’s not your fault,” He shrugged his shoulders, “It’s just weird. I’ve never seen her drink before.” He said a bit softer. He glanced up at her, like he was expecting her to reveal some deep secret. She paused for a moment before she shrugged her shoulders. She had never seen Susan drink either, nor to her knowledge did she know that Susan may have an issue with drinking. 

“Maybe she’s thinking of my dad,” She admitted after a second of thinking, “He drank away his pain.” She rubbed her bottom lip, thinking of the various times she’d find Sam passed out on the floor of their apartment. “What pain did he have?” Billy snorted, like it was outrageous. Kim glanced up at him, her eyebrows furrowing together as she tried to think of a way to defend Sam. She fell short as she rubbed her thumbs together, realizing she knew very little about her father. A bitter feeling filled her stomach and she was suddenly hoping for a way to change the conversation. 

“I don’t know,” She said at last, “He never talked about it. I don’t think he ever talked about his childhood.” She shook her head when she was finished speaking, deciding that it was best to forget about her father at the moment. She didn’t want to ruin the night that they were having. Billy nodded his head as he stood, quickly cleaning up their dirty plates.  

Their routine felt domestic as they cleaned their mess, listening to the radio as they worked. They were often distracted with one another, constantly pausing their actions so they could kiss or hold onto one another. It left Kim with a giddy feeling and only convinced her that she had grown lucky to find the one in her life.

They would settle onto the couch afterwards, watching whatever program until Billy would begin to drift off. His head was resting in her lap this time as she gently ran her fingers through his curls. His ankles were crossed, his mouth parted as his eyes continually fluttered shut. She felt bad, thinking of how exhausted he must be working two jobs. She wondered if he was saving up for something. 

“Hey,” She kissed his forehead gently, trying to wake him up as softly as she could, “Let’s go to bed.” She told him, ignoring that it was barely nine at this point. He looked up at her, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion until he nodded his head. He looked too tired to argue about it.

“Sorry,” He mumbled as he rubbed the back of his neck. She shut off the TV, then worked on shutting the lights off as they walked towards their room, “Just been tired recently.” She watched as he walked, a soft grin forming on her lips as he realized he was probably embarrassed over how early it still was.

“I was tired anyways,” She told him, even though it wasn’t true. She liked to lay with him and would usually turn her lamp on to read her novels anyways. She pulled open her dresser door as she began to undress and switch into a nightgown, “You’ve had a long week.” She glanced over towards him, watching as he stripped down to his underwear before he crawled onto the bed. He needed his head but she was sure if he had even heard her. 

“I just have tomorrow,” He spoke tiredly as he laid on his side to face her. She shut off the light before she crawled into the bed and placed a kiss against his forehead, “Then I have Sunday off.” He spoke dreamily. She felt bad, knowing that he really didn’t have to work as hard as what he was. She was sure that he felt bad and wondered how much of his paycheck he was giving to Susan. She began to grow worried, hoping that he wasn’t really doing that. 

She rested against the pillows, staring up at the ceiling and wishing she could sleep. She had been struggling with it lately and really wasn’t sure why. She twisted the chain on her neck before she moved her finger down towards the ring that rested on her chest. She glanced towards Billy, confirming that he was still awake. 

“Did your grandpa wear it a lot?” She asked softly as she slipped her finger into the large ring. She tilted her chin up so she could peer up at him better. His lips were curled into a soft smile as he peered down at her. 

“I hope so,” Billy chuckled softly as his finger came down on the other side of the ring, just barely pressing the material against her skin, “It was his wedding ring.” He told her softly as he drew his finger along the curve of the ring. He bumped against her finger just as her eyes widened from his words.

“What?” She stumbled out, feeling as if her tongue was far too heavy in her mouth. She thought about rubbing her ears, thinking that she may have heard him wrong. She didn’t realize that the ring was something so significant, so special. 

“It’s nothing like that,” Billy spit out quickly, his eyebrows raised high as he shook his head, “I just thought you’d like it.” She wondered if his face was burning as hot as hers was. She hadn’t thought much about marriage, but realized that Billy would be the one that she would one day want to marry. He was the only option for her. 

“I do,” She squeaked out quickly. She paused to clear her throat, “Thank you. It’s very beautiful.” Her cheeks were still warm as Billy averted his eyes and moved his hand away from the ring. She gulped hard, wondering if the marriage talk had been too much for him. 

An awkward tension filled the room as they laid stiffly next to each other, their shoulders just lightly brushing against one another. She thought of something to say, something to fix the situation so they could go back to normal. Her mind felt fuzzy, still focused on the fact that Billy had promised her something without meaning to do so.

“I wouldn’t get you a ring,” He said at last, “I mean, not one like that. It would be pretty. Like a diamond or some shit like that.” He was speaking briskly, wincing like he had said something wrong. Her heart relaxed as her lips grew into a smile. 

“It doesn’t have to be a diamond,” She looked towards him as she slipped the ring around her finger again, “I like other gems.” She giggled softly as he leaned over her again and gently pressed a kiss against her lips. 

“I love you.” He told her softly, his eyes shining truthfully as he tucked her hair behind her ears gently. She grinned as she moved her finger away so she could link their hands together. Her heart throbbed harshly in her chest, feeling like she may explode from his words.

“I love you too.” She whispered softly as her eyes looked over his pretty features. She felt like things were getting better. She only hoped that they would stay that way.

////////////////

Kim gently untangled herself from Billy’s arms, feeling alarmed at the sound that had echoed through the house. He was sleeping deeply, soft snores leaving his parted lips as he rolled back onto his side. She bit her lip, listening to the sound of shuffling coming from what she figured was the kitchen as she slowly rose from the bed.

She blinked hard, hoping to adjust her eyes to the dark house as she slowly pushed the door open. She leaned against the doorway, exhaling softly as she watched Susan stumble against the couch. Susan collapsed against it, laying awkwardly as she groaned and rolled her head to the side. Kim moved forward, feeling like this was becoming a new routine. 

“Mom,” Kim struggled to put her arms underneath Susan’s before she was tugging her back onto the couch. Susan grunted, swaying her left hand in the air before she dropped it again. She turned onto her left side, resting there more comfortably. Kim bit her lip before she pulled the blankets up over Susan, hoping that she’d rest well, “Have a good night.” She mumbled as she bent over to press a kiss against Susan’s cheek.

Susan didn’t respond to any of Kim’s motions. Kim pulled over one of the trashcans by the head of the couch in case Susan got sick in the middle of the night. Then she got a glass of water and set it up neatly. It took her a second to realize that her actions were almost natural from how often she had done it with her father. 

The thought of her father made her sick to her stomach. She didn’t want to think about him right now. Nor did she want to admit that Susan had fallen that far off. She tried to reassure herself that the couch was just more comfortable than her bed. Surely, Susan just struggled to get comfortable. This had nothing to do with the alcohol. Kim looked down at Susan again, hoping that it would get better before it got worse.  

[crazykuroneko]

Joining the Rewind the Tape event

This will be my first time rewatching IWTV S1 since it's first broadcast (excluding the indirect watch I get from watching YouTube reactions). I'm bad at creating content, but I have been meaning to rewatch it the same way I watch movies; with my note app ready for me to write down things I notice. And like when watching movies, I don't really care about source material nor the existing theories; I just try to deduce from what I see. So, I feel this is a good way to refresh my mind before going into S2 after all the fanons and theories going around. I use my note to decide how I score a film, so I write down technical stuff as well.

If anyone wants to discuss, feel free to reply ✌️

Here is my note for S01E1:

• What a witty opening. Tricking audience that it's something it's not (an ad, which is closer to our reality). Setting the tone of what's to come.

• "Your sources are your Sherpas (a guide?). Your editor is your priest. Honesty is not a tactic."

• "Can he make his fantasy a reality?" Touche!

• 9/4/73. 4 September 1973

• Daniel looks so pissed listening to the old tape lol.

• That transition of Louis' face over the city. That's so Great Gatsby of him. And the long close shot makes Louis so still and inhuman, what a contrast with the ones from the church scene.

• "Have I hit the nerve?" Drink every time the script being so funny!

• Louis: "Yet you come anyway". Daniel: "That's my voice but I don't remember it" 

• "Truth and reconciliation" Reconciliation: the process of making two opposite beliefs, ideas, or situations agree.

• June 14, 2022.

• "The favored son. And capital to oversee as consequence"

• "You're a pimp". "The product is desire" The difference in their language in this dialogue is so interesting.

• Bricks hitting Fenwick after he tried to rape her. That's our girl 😌✊

• The score came up on the right time.

• Lestat witnessing and hearing the contradiction in Louis over loving his brother versus going hard on him in order to survive and falling in love immediately 😌✊✊✊✊

• "Let's not fuss on the particulars" Particulars in question are women being exploited and sometimes raped, but okay. 

• Florence and Grace don't like to hear the hard facts, I see. 

• "A lie I told myself about myself"

• No that white man Louis staring at is so ugly. Louis, please!

• Oh, Les definitely hears Tom inviting Louis for a game on Friday.

• "And there's a food" *gestures to Lily*. God, i love this script.

• Oh, Lestat did "mezmerized" Louis here (either accidentally or not idk), like he did with Paul later at the dinner. Hence, Louis says "not with my family".

• "Emasculation AND admiration in equal measure. I wanted to murder the man, and I wanted TO BE the man." Basically a summary of what attracts Louis to Lestat. 

• Lestat killing the white man with lamp scene is interesting if you consider what we watch as Louis' POV because logically Louis didn't see it as it happened in 1910. But the existence of this scene signals that 2022 Louis (or Louis after the fact) now knows that Lestat did prowling the city during the night killing people. Iirc there will be more scenes like this.

• Help Sam and Jacob's chemistry right when their eyes meet each other 😭😭😭😭♥️

• Not @ Lestat dumbing himself down in front of the white men and Louis smiled adorably over it even though he probably knew that's just an act. We lost him so fast

• The practical effects are so cool.

• Lestat was like don't you know your value etc etc, yet he still did not back up Louis to Fenwick. The red flag is red flagging.

• "He's not revealed his vampire nature yet." But Louis definitely knows something is up with him (see: two instances of "mezmerize" and the time stop)

• That shot of Leslou in the mirror at the tailor is so cute 🥺

• "Mother loves European" Louis is so her son 😂

• "He ain't takin' it you getting married" Paul was indeed getting worse 😭

• Lestat being so taken aback with how blunt Paul is then taken aback over Louis' lying to his family he's not enjoying opera is so funny. 

• Sam's eyebrows definitely have a life of their own lol

• Louis gives Lestat's "violent and weird peculiarity" a pass unless it's toward his loved ones. Reminds me of that Jacob's interview on the domestic abuse in the show.

• The talk Leslou have while walking back to Lestat's house is really the summary of Louis' different "hats". "They sit in judgement. Paul is the only one to say it to my face"

• Louis' action vs words when Lestat asked him for a "nightcap" is 🤌

• I thought Lestat's hand is in Lily's skirt when she seemingly orgasm, but it isn't. His hand also doesn't explore too much on her at Fairplay Saloon either compared to what Louis' narration implies. Is it the show being careful how they touch women or is it some kind of "censor"? I need to pay attention to it later.

• The choreo between Leslou to make it look like they're fighting for control/dominance. This is A grade yaoi 🤌🤌🤌🤌

• Louis checking on Daniel whether he has ~ embraced his sexuality~ then describing his homosexual intimate moment with drugs to a former addict is a very deliberate choice. Daniel isn't the only one digging in this interview.

• Drinking blood from another in an intimate setting feels extremely intimate

• Gosh Paul doesn't even want Levi to touch him

• The tap dance scene 😭 Paul 😭

• Paul spiralling down pre-wedding, seemingly angry during the wedding, eating a lot, remembering their best time, checking on Louis and Grace, saying I love you. Yeah, he definitely did it himself 🥲

• I know the night sky is a green screen, but the lights hit Louis' face so beautifully. I don't know how they did it 

• Florence 😡😡😡😡

• "Miss Lily proved herself a poor subtitute" Lestat 😡😡😡😡😡

• Lestat is completely out of touch with humanity, he only cares about himself.

• Finnick must think it's very weird that he has to keep Lestat away from Louis that he gets his arm broken but the next time they meet, Leslou are close again 😅

• Daniel Hart slaying with the score 🤌🤌🤌🤌

• Louis connects the dots when he hears Lily got the "fever" 😞

• Jacob's acting at the confession. The score filling the space over his voice. The mixing tuned up perfectly when Lestat snatching the priest. 🤌

• Lestat knocked down two lamps, one is so far away from the confession, to give proper lighting is so funny lol. (I know it's shooting necessity but still 😂)

• Sam definitely has a subwoofer in his throat wtf (I'm listening with earphones)

• You can see Sam hasn't used to talk with his fangs on here.

• The camera trick after Lestat punched the priest is so clever.

• I wonder what Lestat is hearing during his proposal scene, because he definitely gets Louis the moment he says he loves him. The change in Louis' face 🥲

• Sam's eye acting during the part laid over with Louis' narration. That part will always be my Roman Empire 

• "For the first time in my life, I was seen". Not "felt seen". He's still sure that that's a fact. 

• Louis already gives little nods the moment Lestat finished "for eternity" 🥲🥲🥲🥲

• Jacob's whole monologue during the turn 🤌🤌🤌

• "He sat there, radiant" *while Lestat's is laying down, catching his breath* Louis' narration is more "flowery" than the recollection?

Summary: I'm extremely impressed with how much we know about Louis' personality (especially the contradiction in himsef) just from the script of this episode. Alan Taylor trusts Jacob and Sam's ability a lot to do a lot of close-ups and just let their faces tell the story. Louis' costumes, scores, and audio mixing are perfection.

[wildpeachfarm]

New subject for all of you to discuss!! N.ihachu being hypocritical (again) yippie /s

In her recent interview, she mentioned how misogynistic the Dsmp fanbase was and how none of the men of the servers spoke out about it when Dream has done it multiple times.

Not only that but the people she says she doesn't affiliate with anymore are literally the only one who treated her fairly but Q.uackity and T.ommy are people she interacts with (especially the former) when they were the one treating her unfairly; only seing her as a woman.

When W mentioned admiring Pokimane, T.ommy immediately asked him how Niki would feel and if she knew about it , calling W a "player" By doing so he's obviously insinuating that W and Niki relationship is romantic which is something she's been really uncomfortable with for so long. And when she joined the vc he immediately told her about it with Q.uackity joining him, which is really uncomfortable when they're expecting her to react badly and feed into the 'women hating each other for a man's attention’ plot and she was just so uncomfy with it she just gave one curt answer answer immediately went next to someone else in the game so they could move on.

And they immediately did, they didn’t even interact with her other than this.

vid is : Dsmp election by T.ommy

Hmm okay one thing I will say is that it does need to be acknowledged that the dsmp fandom /did/ treat niki poorly. However, I don't know if I would attribute that to one specific creator or if it was a byproduct of the gaming space generally being incredibly misogynistic and that bleeding into the fandom behavior (still not ok obviously). I do think there is definitely room to criticize the men on the server for not being more openly against the misogyny in the gaming space but I think that can be applied to most mc servers imo.

I will say that niki's feelings about this are always valid of course, but she shouldn't really single out one specific dsmp person over another for being more or less misogynistic or anything like that without proof that they contributed more to the bad environment. And by implying that the reason she doesn't associate with certain people (like dream) is because he is somehow worse than Tommy or Quackity, that's kinda disingenuous.

It's far easier to broadly talk about misogyny in the gaming/minecraft space as a female creator than it is to try to be shady at one creator specifically especially when in this case, I'd argue Dream has tried to do a lot privately and publicly to support the women he knows in this space.

Now, I have not watched this video so I don't know if she actually was implying Dream specifically. So if that's not the case, then a lot of this doesn't really apply to some of the other men on the server considering I did not see vocal support of women from all of them an equal amount.

Also to say that she doesn't affiliate with some of them (let's just assume in this case she /is/ talking about Dream) is kinda untrue considering last september she was hanging at the droncert and invited Dream over her house to play with her cats. And as far as we know, Dream has been nothing but kind to niki since and there have been no issues.

I understand that niki feels like she was treated poorly by the dsmp fanbase and yeah, they were horrible to certain people so I completely get it. However, it's strange to act like cutting /certain/ dsmp men off and then still hanging around /others/ doesn't go against what she said about /all/ of them being bad...? idk that's just confusing to me.

[sleep-token-confessions]

god i wish i discovered this band earlier. and god i wish i hadnt experienced their music via shuffling their spotify.

i am just now realizing that i shouldve 100% listened to them in order. and i considered doing it before, but never got around it. the best i did was listen to TMBTE fully in order and starting TPWBYT in order

thank you Drag Me Under for making me realize this, i completely neglected you as well as other less listened songs that spotify wouldnt play when shuffling. I cant believe i missed other bangers like Take Aim, High Water and Telomeres

i joined in via most basic way, that being thanks to the ending part of the summoning trending in tiktok. i thought the whole song was interesting, but at the time i clearly preferred the ending over the whole song. im glad my opinions changed once i saw granite being posted

in the last 3 months of 2023 they became one of my most listened artists of the year, and my top 3 most listened songs were sleep token songs (n1 hypnosis, n2 sugar and n3 the offering), and even in my 100 listened songs of the year there were (including the top 3) 10 whole st songs

i havent been so obsessed with a band like this since the peak of twenty one pilots, and that was back when i was like, 11. i even considered playing calcutta on my high schools graduation. if i had the mind that i do now, i wouldve chosen Euclid

sorry for the nonsensical ramblings, i stopped listening to them in the middle of this year and came back to it around september. i even made a digital painting of vessel that im considering posting here

i just love this band so much and i hope to see a show of theirs someday. i want them to come to my country so so bad

thats all. final message is that if youre like me and you havent listened to their discography in chronological order, then Please do i Beg you. it will make songs that make you cry hit you harder

oh and this band is also a 10/10 for me because i loved masked men okay bye

.

[regheart]

a potential timeline for regulus black

this is an attempt at organizing the information provided in "kreacher's tale" into a comprehensive and likely timeline for regulus black's story from joining the death eaters until defecting and his subsequent death

here's the known information with a few assumptions

he was born in 1961 and died in 1979, unknown month for either situation

he died when he was either 17 or 18

if he was born up until august 31st he was one year bellow sirius in hogwarts

if he was born from september 1st and on he was two years bellow sirius

he joined the death eaters when he was 16, either after his birthday in 77 or before his birthday in 78

alternatively, either at the end of 5th year, during 6th year or in the summer between the two

kreacher says he was volunteered to voldemort a year after regulus became a death eater

that would have placed the first visit to the cave either in 78 or 79, if we consider that "a year" is an estimate measure, something between 10-16 months

immediately after coming back kreacher is ordered to stay hidden and don't leave the house

after an undetermined amount of time, described as "a little while later," regulus asks kreacher to take him to the cave and dies

taking all of that into account, it's possible to speculate the following

knowing that he died in 79 and considering a margin of error to the time described as "a year", his joining could be placed by the end of 77 or in 78

"a little while later" as a measure of time is quite confusing, it could imply a bit later on the same day or even a few weeks after, but not months as that may require a different description and it wouldn't be a reasonable amount of time for kreacher to stay hidden (hidden from whom is another question that could be explored)

my proposition for this is that it took him a few weeks maximum to figure out it was a horcrux, formulate a (bad) plan and come to terms with his own imminent death

kreacher mentions that for both of his visits to the cave, regulus came to talk to him in the kitchen, implying that he was staying at grimmauld place at the time

that would place this events either during winter break (could even mean that he died in january 79), easter break or over the summer

it is also likely that, if there's a ceremony to joining the death eaters, that would also have happened in one of these periods, a year earlier, as he probably wouldn't have been able to leave hogwarts just for that

so in terms of hogwarts years, he died before starting 7th year, during 7th year or in the semester after graduating

kreacher says walburga was "mad with grief" but not orion, so there's a good chance orion died before regulus

my personal headcanon of the events

i think regulus died in july/august of 1979, after graduating

first, through kreacher's version of the story, it sounds like regulus was staying for some time at home, but also investigating horcruxes would take more time than winter or easter break provide

second, i think it makes for a reasonable explanation that he would volunteer kreacher as his first meaningful contribution to the cause after leaving hogwarts (considering his maybe-one-year time as a loyal death eater was spent mostly as a schoolboy)

third, it gives time for orion to die before him (not so relevant but still)

i also personally think of him as a leo (heart of the lion and all that) but then when you place his birthday and whether that is related to astrology or not is very personal, and since i like him going to hogwarts a year after sirius there's a range from capricorn to virgo to choose from and he shows a dramatic flair on his note so leo is my favorite pick (he also totally could be a pisces)