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dumblilb · 2 years ago

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SUMMERTIME SADNESS

Jeremiah Fisher x Fem!Reader

(Summary: ~ Think I'll miss you forever. Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky ~

No place in the world ever felt more like home to Y/n Rowe than Cousins beach. Sure it was a beautiful place, but it was more to do with the people. Her and her mother spent every summer since she was brought home with the Fishers and the Conklins. It was her favorite time of year.

But this year felt different. Everything felt more intense. She was finally comfortable in her skin. And that meant maybe, just maybe, Jeremiah Fisher might actually notice her.)

(Warnings: none for this chapter besides some underage drinking and insecure thoughts)

(Words: 4074)

* ・゚☆ 。・ * ・゚★ 。・ * ・゚☆ * ・゚☆ 。

Chapter 1:

I loved cousins beach. Maybe even more than home. But then again it never feels quite like home without the fishers and the conklins. Me and my mother have been staying with them at cousins beach since before I could remember. It was my favorite part of the year. It suck’s being so far from your best friends. So the months between June and august we have to make the most of it. Me and belly would call sporadically throughout the school year but the weeks leading up to cousins whe faced times every single night. Planning outfits and talking about what we would do all summer.

And well, the fisher boys. It was painfully obvious how much belly liked Conrad. I remember the day I squeezed the information out of her. Literally. We were in her room two summers ago and it was late. We had been messing around playing dress up in some clothes I stole from my mom when I bring it up.

“Belly I swear I know who you like.”

“No you don’t.” She says looking in the floor length mirror giggling.

“Yes I do.” I say jumping to her shoulders with a hug. She squealed

As we fell to the bed.

“Who then?” She laughs squinting her eyes.

“CONRA-“ I say loudly before she puts her hands over my mouth.

“STOP! Be quiet.” She whispers eyeing the door hoping the boy didn’t her me from down the hall.

“I knew it.” I say muffled from under her fingers. I wrap my arms around her squeezing her in a big hug causing her to let my mouth go.

“That’s so cute! I knew it!” I smile. She just rolls her eyes with a big blush across her cheeks.

“Fine, fine. I like conrad. But you can’t tell anyone.” She said looking me dead in the eyes.

“Pinky promise.” I grin softly.

“Pinky promise.” She says wrapping hers around mine.

“Plus I promise not to tell anyone you like Jeremiah.” She giggles causing a loud gasp to leave my lips.

Sitting in the car on the way to cousins always brings up memories like that. Maybe it’s the nerves that get built up to see him. Would he notice me that way this summer? Did he look better than the year before? It always clouded my mind on the road there. But then we would hit this place in the road where you could smell the sea so strong it would all fade away. And the excitement would flow back in.

We finally pull up to the house and I see Jeremiah and a soaking wet belly run out the door.

“Y/n!” Belly yells jumping into my arms. Getting me slightly wet in the process.

“Hi bells.” I muse with a wide smile.

“I missed the belly flop didn’t I?” I laugh and Jeremiah chuckles walking up to us.

“Oh yeah you did. But this time she got Conrad back.” He says and belly moves to the side letting him get a hug in.

“Missed you n/n.” He says squeezing me tight spinning us around.

“I missed you too Jere.” I say letting go. The feeling on his hands moving themselves from my waist to his sides making my cheeks heat up. Belly just smiles knowingly and then they both greet my mom, helping her with her bags. I start to get mine out when Susannah, Laurel, Steven, and Conrad walk outside.

“My beautiful girl. Look at you!” Susannah smiles as she walks up to me pilling me up in a warm hug. Sometimes the only thing in the world that can make me feel better is a hug from Susannah. She has this was of making you believe everything will be okay.

“I missed you so much.” I say holding her tight.

“My turn, my turn!” Laurel says and Susannah lets her get a hug.

“Ugh I’m so excited to be here with you guys.” I say and she pulls away fixing my hair.

“It’s so good to see you.” She smiles and they both turn to my mom. They all smile and embrace each other. It makes me wonder if us kids will be like them when we’re older. But I’m brought out of thought when I feel a hand aggressively messing up my hair.

“Hi Steven.” I say rolling my eyes.

“You know I’m gonna get pay back for last summer right.” He says with a glare that doesn’t reach the giant smile on his lips.

“Oh yeah I bet.” I smirk. Every summer me and Steven have a little prank war. Last year me and belly stole all of his clothes while he was in the shower and dumped them in the pool. The moms made us do laundry for a week after. But it was worth it.

He goes to say hi to my mom and Conrad comes up.

“You got taller.” He smiles.

“You didn’t.” I say smiling back causing him to laugh.

“Yeah yeah okay, I’m gonna got say hi to the nicer Rowe, before I’m all Rowe-ed out for the day.” He jokes and belly comes up to me.

“Let’s get your bags inside. I wanna get you all unpacked so we can hang out.” She says dragging me to the trunk of the car. We grab everything and head up to my room.

The light blue patterned wallpaper brings this sensation of calm everyone I walk in. It feels serene. My room back home is covered in posters, but here, here was a clean slate for my mind to breathe in every year.

Belly puts my bags on the bed and I open them up starting to unpack my clothes her putting away my makeup stuff.

“God I love all your makeup stuff it’s so pretty. I need to get better at it before I can go all out like this.” She smiles as I put a few shirts in the drawer.

“I’ll teach you don’t worry. Plus you’re so beautiful already makeup for you should just be fun.” I remark. She looks up at me with a blush.

“You’re just saying that.” She scoffs.

“No I’m serious bells. You’ve always had beauty don’t get me wrong, but you had a glow up this year.” I reassure and her smile grows.

“Well you’ve gotten more beautiful too. You just seem so comfortable in your skin this summer.” She says back. Nudging me with her hip.

I just thank her. She was half right. I definitely feel more confident in my self. But I’ll always feel insecure in this town. All the pretty girls on the beach will never fail to make me self conscious about what should be my so called ‘bikini body’. Or not being able to wear makeup to the beach when I’m having a breakout. But I’ve learned to ignore those thoughts as well as I can.

I’m a year older than belly. And I always feel like I have to hide those thoughts from her. Be a good example. She doesn’t need to find insecurities in herself because I’m complaining about mine.

“Hey let’s go to my room real quick I want to change out of these wet clothes.” She giggles pulling me out of thought.

“Oh yeah duh, let’s go.” I smile. “I wanna pick out your outfit though.” I smirk and she sighs.

“You’re so extra about this stuff.” She complains and I just laugh.

“I got a passion for fashion, what can I say.”

“Did you just quote bratz.” She giggles as I go through her drawers.

“And what if I did.” I smirk.

“You’re so-“ she starts to say when the door slams open.

“Hello ladies.” Jeremiah says jumping on belly’s bed.

“She could have been changing you dork.” I say throwing a pillow at him.

“You guys always lock the door when you change. I know you.” He says throwing the pillow.

“But anyways both of you do need to change. I’ve been waiting all day to go to the beach with you guys.”

“I- uh, told my mom me and y/n would go to whale of a tale.” She says and Jeremiah grabs junior mint making a sad face.”

“Please come swimming with me.” He says in this stupid baby voice.

“-I think she can go by herself.” Belly says and me and Jere share a big smile.

“YAY!” He exclaims getting up off the bed. He grabs my wrist pulling me to my room. Before I can say he shuts the door with me in it.

“Both of you go change!” He says and runs downstairs.

I pull out a bathing suit and head downstairs with my towel meeting Jere and belling in the back.

“Ready?” I ask and he turns to me. God his eyes were blue. They had a tack for making me forget what I was thinking about when I started speaking to him. They both say yes and we start walking but the whole walk all I could think of was how he got tanner this summer. And his hair looked fluffier than last. He had gotten taller too. He had to look down a little to make eye contacts. Which made my heart flutter.

“Hey. Did you know my dad's coming up for the Fourth?” Says belly making us look at her.

“Cool.” Jeremiah smiles.

“Yeah that’s great.” I say doing the same.

“Don't you think it's weird?” She asks.

“Not really. I love your dad.” Jere adds.

“Yeah, but they've only been divorced for, like, a year and a half.” She sighs.

“Well, that's what's so cool about your mom, you know? She just doesn't give a shit.” He says.

“Exactly. She doesn't give a sh¡t because she's the one who wanted the divorce in the first place.” She continues.

“Forever grateful I’m adopted. I never have to deal with men. It sounds exhausting.” I giggle and they both join in.

“I think if you don't want to be married, you just shouldn't be married.” Jere says and I nod.

“It’s better for everyone involved.”

“Well, tell that to my grandma. She basically collapsed when my mom told her. Did you know my dad has a new girlfriend already?” She chuckles.

“Well, what about your mom? Is she dating anybody?” Jere asks.

“No. Oh, and he has a beard now.” She laughs.

“Oh yeah?” I say.

“Your dad has a beard?” Jere says with a confused face.

“Yeah. He thinks it makes him look cool.” She sighs.

“Well, does it?” I ask.

“Kind of.” She snorts.

“I've waited all year for this.” I say loudly as we get to the water.

“You want to race?” Jere asks us.

“No, no, I can't, you...” belly starts to say then runs towards the water leaving us behind.

“Oh that is just not fair.” I say and start running too.

“Oh, come on. Wait up!” Jere yells and chases us. He quickly catches up to me grabbing me and spinning me around.

“If I can’t be first I’ll be second.” He smiles. “SORRY N/N” he continues and bolts for the water. I just kinda stand there for a second in a daze. The heat from his body goes just as quickly as it came leaving me in shock. I’ve always had a crush on the younger fisher brother. But for some reasons this year it felt stronger. Maybe it’s because I finally feel pretty enough in my own skin. Maybe he’ll notice me.

Jeremiah fisher is the biggest flirt in cousins. He’s had multiple summer flings for the past few years. But I don’t want to be that. I don’t want to be someone he forgets about in the fall. And maybe being friends is the only way that can happen. But a girl can dream.

We all head back to the house for dinner. Getting changed into dry clothes and seated at the table.

“Steven, I swear to God, if you look at that phone one more time, I'm putting it in the screen basket.” Laurel says scolding her oldest child.

“It's just, we want to see your beautiful faces. Can dinner be a screen-free zone? You know, like the olden days.” Susannah smiles with a small chuckle at her own joke.

“Steven.” Laurel repeats. Jeremiah takes his phone from his hands and throws it into the basket.

“Dude, are you kidding me?” Steven exclaims.

“Boom! Nailed it.” Jere says flexing.

“Okay, okay, okay, we get it, you've been working out.” Steven complains.

“Oh, you're just jealous because Jere has a better body than you.” I say nonchalant but quickly look up to see Jere looking at me with a pleasantly surprised look on his face.

“Thank you n/n. You’re pretty bodacious yourself.” He says quoting ‘bill and teds excellent adventure.’ I made him watch it with me last year and he hasn’t stopped sending me stupid texts quoting it since. I just roll my eyes with a small smile, saying thank you.

“Uh, no, actually, it's all about the lean look now. Otherwise, you can't wear tailored suits.” Steven defends.

“Sure, sure.” Belly says.

“Tailored suits.” Conrad laughs.

“When are you leaving for training camp, man?” Steven asks him.

“Uh, he quit football.” Jere says.

“Wh... Wait, really? You quit?” Steven asks.

“Mm-hmm.”

“Are you kidding me, man? I'd-I'd kill to play college ball.” Steven continues.

“He can always change his mind.” Susannah butts in.

“I'm not gonna change my mind. I was just gonna sit on the bench all season anyways.” Conrad says getting annoyed.

“Well, if you're not playing football anymore, what are you gonna do all summer?” Belly asks.

“Oh, dude, you can work at the club. with me and Jere.” Steven says.

“Yeah. I'm not gonna work at the club.” Conrad scoffs.

“Wait, you guys are working this summer?” I ask.

“Yeah, I'm lifeguarding, and Steven's working at the snack shop.” Jere says doing a lil hand shake with Steven.

“Oh, Belly, Y/n, I almost forgot. I have a surprise for you.” Susannah says taking out two white invitations.

“So, this is why you had to stop by the country club.” My mom says. And Laurel shakes her head.

“I wrangled Belly and y/n an invitation to be a debutante.” Susannah exclaims.

“Is that the thing where the girls wear white dresses and curtsy?” Belly asks.

“It's when a girl comes of age and is presented to society. I-I know it sounds silly, but I swear it's fun. Girls come from all over New England to Cousins just to be a part of it. You'll make so many new friends.” Susannah defends.

“I cannot believe you are still holding on to this archaic dream.” My mom laughs.

“No, it used to be about finding a husband, but now it's about networking. They teach you leadership skills, like how to market yourself, and it benefits charity. It's, um, like a bat mitzvah.” Susannah continues.

“It is not like a bat mitzvah. There is nothing religious about a debutante ball.” Laurel scoffs.

“The whole deb scene is bullshit. It's for sheep.” Conrad says.

“No, it's not. It's when a girl has a coming out, it's a formal recognition she's reached maturity.” Susannah continues.

“Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. Mature?” Steven says surprised.

“Yes.”

“Belly and Y/n?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“A-a couple months ago you had a cat funeral. You made us all wear black.” Steven exclaims flabbergasted.

“Shut up, Steven. I saw you crying in your room.” Belly recoils.

“Wait, Mochi died? Dang. I'm sorry, Bells.” Jere says a sympathetic expression taking his features.

“Girls. Don't you want to get all dressed up?” Susannah asks hopeful.

“It's just not Belly's kind of thing. She's our feral little alley cat.” Laurel says. My mom already knows I’ll say yes. I like dressing up. Meeting new people isn’t my favorite thing but if it’s with belly I’ll do it.

Belly looks to me and I smile softly causing her to do the same and look back to Susannah.

“I'll think about it.” She says.

“She'll think about it.” Says Susannah to Laurel happily.

We finish up dinner and I head up to my room. After a few minutes I hear a knock at my door. Jere cracks it open and I invite him in.

“Hey, there’s a bonfire tonight. I already asked your mom and she said you could go. Get dressed.” He says flopping down on my bed next to me.

“What my pajamas aren’t bonfire ready enough for you.” I say turning to him.

“They are, but I know you. Go pick out a cute little outfit. And let’s go.” He says booping my nose and walking out of my room.

Sometimes I hate how right he is.

I pick out a dress and put on my leather jacket. It gets cold at the beach during the night. I slide on my shoes and head to the door to the back yard.

“Ooo y/n give us a twirl.” Jeremiah says with a smile as I walk up and I laugh doing a small 360 for him and Steven.

“Okay let’s go!” Steven says and we walk out the back door.

“First bonfire of the summer!” jere says loudly.

“All right, we're totally taking my car. You're not driving.” Jere says pointing to steven.

“Come on, man, we're leaving. You ready?” Steven says to Conrad who is sitting at the edge of the pool talking to belly.

“Can I come, too?” She asks.

“Uh, no. The moms are getting everything set up for your movie night.” Steven says.

“See you. Let's go, slowpoke. Have fun with the moms!” Jere says.

“Hey why can’t belly come?” I ask but the boys start walking away.

“Come on y/n.” They say not stopping.

“I’m sorry. I’ll take you out a different night. Just us girls.” I say to belly heading to the car.

We get to the bonfire and I thought I would be hanging out with them but they all dispersed and left me alone. Steven is flirting with this girl and Conrad is already making out with someone. Jere has a group of like four people fawning over his attention. I’m not a big drinker so I just kinda chill by the fire. Till I decide to go walk closer to the water. I needed to get the sight of Jeremiah flirting with other people out of my head.

I loved the ocean. Well. To be honest I loved the shore. The part of the water that you can still see your feet in when you look down.

The first time I realized I liked Jeremiah we were sitting on the shore. We were 12 and we sat covered in wet sand digging for sand crabs. He had found one and told me to put my hands out. He put it and a small pile of sand onto my palms and put his forehead to mine to block the sun. We sat there and watched it dig around. Legs crisscross and knees together. His eyes met mine for a second and he had the biggest smile of his face. That was the first moment I understood what people meant when they said they got butterflies in their stomachs.

I shook the memory out of my head and started walking back to the bonfire. It was getting too cold. When I got there though I saw belly. And she was talking with some guy. They looked cute together so I just left them alone. Till I hear Conrad fighting with some guy.

“What's your problem, man?”

“It's one beer. It's a party. Relax.”

“No, give me my beer back. I paid for this.”

“Stop, stop. You're drunk. Just give him the beer.” The girl Conrad was with says.

“Maybe you should listen to your lady.”

“Stop. You're drunk.”

“No. I'm fine. I'm fine. Give me the beer back.” Conrad argues.

“You guys, you guys, you guys.” Belly says walking up to them just as it’s about to get physical. She gets elbowed in the face by the guy Conrad was arguing with.

“Belly.” Conrad says concerned.

“Guys. What the hell.” I say running to help belly up.

“What the fսck is wrong with you?” Conrad says to the guy.

“Are you okay?” Jere says coming up to belly.

“Come on, big man, come on.“ the guy says still egging Conrad on.

“Quit being a dick.” I yell at the guy.

“COPS!” Some kid yells and lights start flashing. We all run to the jeep and climb in. I look around and notice I dropped my phone.

“Fuck I lost my phone I’ll be right back.” I say.

“I’ll help you look.” Jere says.

We trace back our steps and find it.

“Shit this thing is gonna be full of sand for weeks.” I complain and he laughs.

“It’ll be fine don’t worry about it- hey is that Steven?” He asks and we look over.

“Steven hurry up!” I yell and he runs over.

“Sorry I was saying goodbye.”

“Oooh Steven got a girlfriend-“ I start to say goofing around with him till we get to the jeep and see the cops talking to belly and Conrad. Fuck.

We get escorted home and Laurel takes care of it.

“Officers, thank you. It won't happen again, I can promise you that much.”she says.

“Tell Mr. Fisher the chief wants to set up a tee time when he gets back in town.” The officer says.

“Absolutely. Sorry again for all the trouble. Have a good night, Officers.” Laurel says and shuts the door turning to us with disappointed look.

“How could you guys be so irresponsible?”

“Mom, it wasn't a big deal. All right?” Belly says.

“Seriously. The cops were just looking to break up the bonfire.” Steven says.

“Not a big deal? Yes. I would say getting picked up by the cops for underage drinking is a pretty big deal, Steven.” She says letting out a scoff.

“Were-were you guys, you guys smoking tonight?” Conrad asks and my jaw drops. Why is he being such a douchebag.

“What? Keep your voice down. Susannah and Kate are asleep on the couch.” Laurel says panicked.

“Well, I wasn't yelling.” He continues.

“Well, you-you-you were.”

“Just so you know, Laurel, I-I didn't drink tonight. I was the DD, I swear.” Jere reassured her. But she doesn’t care.

“You're the oldest. What the hell's gotten into you?” She says to Conrad.

“And when did you leave the house without telling anybody? And what in the world are you wearing?” She says looking to belly.

“It's Taylor's. And why am I the only one who's not allowed to go out?” She asks.

“It's not that you're not allowed, it's that you should have told us you were going. How did you even get there?” Laur says concerned.

“I walked.”

“Jesus. You know better than to walk that far down the beach alone late at night.”

“Can you stop treating me like a kid?” Belly pleads.

“If you want to be treated like an adult, you need to act like one.”

“Then maybe you guys should, too.” Conrad says digging himself in deeper.

“What does that mean? I hope you realize this night could have ended a lot differently if your family wasn't your family.” She says to the boys.

“We're sorry, Laur.” I say.

“Just... go to bed, guys.” She says sighing and we all walk upstairs.

Im about to get ready for bed when I feel arms wrap around me from the back.

“Jere go to bed.” I say shaking my head.

“Im so happy you’re here.” He says letting go and I smile.

“Why.”

“Cause me and you are doing another movie night soon.” He says.

“Oh yeah?” I questions.

“Yeah and it’s my turn to pick.” He says. “Be prepared to be stollen from belly one of these nights.” He continues and leaves the room only to crack the door open one last time.

“Good night n/n.”

“Good night Jere.” I say and he shuts the door.

I get ready for bed and climb under the covers. As I’m falling asleep all I can think about is his arms wrapped around me.

This summer was going to be great.

#jeremiah fisher #jeremiah fisher x reader #the summer i turned pretty #tsitp #tsitp season 1 #tsitp x you #tsitp x reader #tsitp jeremiah #belly conklin #conrad fisher #susannah fisher #laurel park #steven conklin

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coldresolve · 1 year ago

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Moneymakers, pt.xxxix // The Midnight Talk

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A change in the light wakes Conrad up. Slowly, at first, until his tired eyes manage to focus on the texture of the painted wall. It’s a softer, warmer light than the LEDs in the ceiling. Maybe Davin turned on the little desk lamp.

He’s comfortable and warm under the duvet, but Conrad knows the sooner he can swallow the pills, the sooner he can go back to sleep. So he lets out a low groan against the haze in his body, the way his senses blend together into a blurry, washed out image. Fighting that feeling of ethereal calm takes effort, but he manages to push himself up to sitting, and rubs his eyes with the back of his hand while the other keeps balance. Shudders slightly in the cold air.

When he finally looks up, he freezes in place, suppressing a sharp inhale. Because the man across from him is not Davin.

It’s Renee.

He’s sitting in the desk chair with one ankle resting across his knee, hands clamped tight over his shin, foot tapping an irregular rhythm in the air. Faint sweat stains mark the neck and chest of his t-shirt. Tiny flakes of dried blood dot the skin above his upper lip, as if he didn’t quite manage to clean up after a nosebleed. There’s something hungry in the way he takes in Conrad’s reaction to seeing him, something unnatural about the intensity of his stare. His eyes are too wide. His breathing is too quick. “I won’t lie to you,” he mutters seriously. “I am off my fucking shit right now.”

And his demeanor cracks, bleeds into a crooked smile. Traces of laughter are expelled from his nose, like he’s trying to hold it in.

Conrad lets out a bewildered string of syllables before he finally manages to stutter out an uncertain sentence. “What t-time is it?”

“Nighttime, dumbass.” Renee snickers. He leans back, kicks out his legs, resting his feet against the edge of the bed, one foot to either side of where Conrad is huddled. “What, you got places to be or something?” Laughs a little. “Where are you gonna go this time? Hm?”

Conrad’s stomach sinks. He shrinks back fully against the cold wall, like a cornered animal, as the first threads of fear start to creep up his spine. “What, what do you want?”

“I just wanna chat, dude, I’m in a talking mood. It’s been a while, no?” Hands folded across his abdomen, Renee taps his thumbs together. He makes continual little adjustments to how he’s sitting, like he’s bursting with energy, but has no real way to release it. Rocks slightly with the backrest, scratches at his arms, jaw working. “We used to have fun, you know? Where’d that go, hm?”

Conrad swallows, dumbfounded. Renee is always unpredictable, but this feels dangerous in a different way. Like a more severe loss of control, something you can’t begin to approach without the risk of tipping the scales completely. Is he supposed to say something? His eyes flicker to the door.

Renee instantly follows his gaze, then lets out a chuckle. “Mhm,” he hums. And then something happens - his eyes trail out over the black nothingness beyond the window, his expression becomes slack for a moment, maybe ten seconds, as the constant fiddling fades to a halt - before his gaze snaps right back to Conrad, and he starts rocking in his seat again. “I like when you’re scared, you know,” he says, smiling. “It suits you.” Sniffs. “Davin told me about the little lockpick you made. Bet you felt real clever about it, didn’t you? I bet you thought you were real fucking clever.”

He stands up suddenly, chair scooting across the floor, cocks his head to the side. Conrad flinches and leans further back against the wall. Something about the man’s eyes is alarming, not normal - the way he’s barely blinking, the dark voids of his pupils. His teeth glisten in the low light.

“How’s that workin’ out for you, huh? Do you still think you’re smart? You’re a fucking cripple now, aren’t ya?” And he lets out another low laugh, leaning down, hands against his knees, to look at Conrad eye to eye. “Life catches up to you, eh? Always fuckin’ does.”

In the cold rush of his building fear, hands clutched tight in the fabric of the duvet, Conrad returns Renee’s stare with wide eyes, because he’s pretty sure the man will snap if he doesn’t.

Renee lets out a snort, shaking his head slightly. “You’re such a fucking pussy, you know that? Spineless fucking… choir boy.” His smile veers off into a sneer, a crease of disgust. “I know who I am. That’s what you don’t seem to get. You can’t get it through your thick skull. I thought you were naïve at first, but you’re just goddamn stupid. I’m the guy who can do whatever the fuck he wants.” The last sentence is hissed through gritted teeth, eyes burning, breathing somewhat labored. He hammers his index finger at his own chest. “I’m the guy who fucking made you.”

Conrad grits his teeth. He silently counts to three and takes a quick, deep breath. “Dav—”

His shout is cut short as Renee’s fist connects to the side of his mouth, upper lip splitting on his own teeth, and the back of his head thunks hard off the wall. Dazed, Conrad ignores the instinct to stop and collect himself, just pushes off the wall with his hands, thigh searing in pain as he tries to gather his feet under himself and dart past Renee –

An arm wraps around his neck and pulls him back down, choking out the cry on his tongue. Conrad’s back hits the bed, soon followed by the weight of Renee’s upper body, centered Conrad’s chest, and a hand clamps so tight over his mouth, his head is pressed into the mattress. Conrad digs his heels in to try to twist his body free, pushing Renee with both hands, clawing, balling his hands into fists and hitting whatever he can as hard as he can, but none of it seems to faze Renee. He just shifts the weight pinning Conrad down incrementally, until he’s almost lying directly on top of him. The nauseating heat of his body, the weight. At one point, his knee digs into Conrad’s thigh, and the bandages there shift, and it feels like something tears. A cry, partly out of pain, partly out of panic, is muffled against a palm.

“Shut up,” Renee growls. There’s three red scratch marks on his cheekbone, another along his jaw, two of them bleeding enough for it to start rolling down his face. Once he finally manages to get in a position where he can straddle Conrad, he coils a hand around his throat, closing his airway. His other hand leaves Conrad’s mouth to join the chokehold. Wild eyes burning with contempt, excitement, teeth bared in a grin. “I’m a god to you. Do you understand that? I’m fucking divine, bitch.” And he lets out a high whistle through his teeth, leaning the full weight on his upper body onto his hands.

The pain in Conrad’s throat skyrockets as his Adam’s apple is forced down on his windpipe. His fingers claw desperately at Renee’s arms, legs kicking uselessly against the mattress, until his feet tangled in the duvet. His heart drums against the inside of his skull, he can feel the way the blood pools in his face, mouth open. The spasms of his diaphragm as his chest tries and fails to expand. Renee’s figure, looming above him, is clouded by a mess of sparks that begin to dart across his vision.

“Calm down. Do you want to breathe? Look at me, asshole. Do you want to breathe?”

Body convulsing, Conrad fumbles for Renee’s wrists, forcing his eyes to focus on the blurring silhouette of Renee’s face. He never manages to nod, but the pressure on his throat eases slightly, allowing him to draw in a fraction of a breath, before it returns, just as unforgiving as before.

“See? I can do whatever I want,” Renee says breathlessly. Laughs, sticking his tongue out between his teeth. “You can talk shit, but I can kill you if I fucking feel like it. Stupid bitch. I can do anything.”

The edges of Conrad’s vision are beginning to darken, a numbness spreading in his limbs, a prickling sensation in his face, when the pressure suddenly stops altogether.

As he gasps for air, he’s vaguely aware that Renee has grabbed both of his wrists, pinning one arm into the mattress next to his head, but raising the other toward himself. Conrad is so busy heaving for breath, trying to collect the strength to struggle again, he barely realizes what Renee is doing before the man’s teeth sink into his forearm.

Conrad lets out a wordless shout, back arching against new pain. There’s zero inhibition in the bite, he can feel the skin breaking, the relentless force as flesh is pried apart, the way sinew seems to get pushed out of the way, the sharp pinpricks of disbanding tissue. “Stop!” he screams. “Stop! Please stop, please stop—”

But his feeble attempts to pry his arm free only seem to strengthen Renee’s resolve. His jaw sort of locks on Conrad’s arm, teeth steadily sinking deeper. The pressure brings with it a blinding, piercing pain, and a fear in the part of Conrad’s mind that is still capable of thought, that Renee might actually reach the bone, that he might actually bite all the way through and tear a large chunk out.

Beneath Conrad’s cries, a loud thunk fills the room, one that finally makes Renee pause, and the piercing pain in Conrad’s arm ceases, leaving him to gasp in its aftershocks.

“What the actual fuck are you doing?!”

Renee’s grin is stained red as he straightens up, rocking slightly. “It’s not what it looks like.”

Davin blinks. His hair is down, tangled from sleep. “Are you high?”

Renee giggles, looking back at Conrad. “Hell yeah,” he says, letting go of Conrad’s arm only to firmly pat his cheek. The blood dribbling out of his mouth, staining his chin, is beginning to extend its fingers down his neck. “We’re just chattin’.”

“He bit me,” Conrad pants, voice shaking. “H-he bit me. He bit me.”

The disbelief is painted on Davin’s face. For a moment, he just stands there staring, brow furrowed.

“You look pissed,” Renee says zestfully. He’s still breathing hard, as if he just exercised.

“Get out,” Davin says.

Renee snickers. Pats Conrad’s cheek again, a little harder this time. “He’s definitely pissed.”

“Out,” Davin repeats, pointing to the door for emphasis.

Renee rolls his eyes, but he does shift his weight then. As soon as he has swung his leg over the edge of the bed, Conrad scurries up, crawling backwards on the bed until his back hits the corner between the wall and the headboard, drawing his legs up in front of him and clutching his forearm tight. His blood stains the bedsheets, drops and smears scattered in different places, absorbed by the fabric. His arm is throbbing.

Renee’s nonchalant steps circle Davin in the middle of the room, until he starts walking backwards toward the door. “You guys are so fucking boring, you know? I’m just here to have fun.”

“Leave,” Davin says firmly.

Raising a brow, Renee throws both hands up in defeat. Spins around, chuckling to himself, grabbing hold of the doorframe.

Davin turns his attention back to Conrad just a fraction of a second too soon. He doesn’t see the way Renee freezes on the threshold, stopping with one foot still in the room, the other in the hallway, hand still clutching the frame.

“Show me what he did,” Davin says gently.

Conrad swallows, eyes flickering between Davin and Renee’s back. “H-he…”

Davin follows his gaze. Sneers in frustration. “I mean it, Renee, get the fuck out.”

But Renee doesn’t react, doesn’t even turn his head. Just stands there, swaying slightly with the rhythm of his own rapid breathing.

Davin hesitates. “Renee?” he says, and the edge of his voice is gone. He slowly walks over to him, puts a hand on his shoulder to turn him around. Renee follows the movement, feet automatically dragging back to keep his balance, but although his grasp on the doorframe is broken, his hand doesn’t drop; it just hovers in the air, unmoving. His expression is empty, mouth hanging slightly open, gaze unfocused.

“You alright? Renee…?” Brows furrowed, Davin waves a hand in front of the man’s face. Renee half-blinks, but it seems more like a reflex than any real sign of life. His gaze stays blank. Davin shakes Renee’s shoulder a little, then holds the back of his hand up against Renee’s forehead. It prompts no reaction, but Conrad sees the muscles in Davin’s jaw working. Eventually, he steps back and lets out a sigh, casting his head back. “… three in the fucking morning,” he mutters at the ceiling. Looks down at the watch on his wrist, then back to Renee, as if he’s waiting, counting the seconds.

Suddenly, Renee blinks, gives a minute shake of his head. Frowns at Davin. “What?”

“I’d like you to sit down,” Davin tells him, nodding at the desk chair.

Snorting, Renee throws his hands out. “You literally just told me to leave.”

“I changed my mind. Sit down.”

Renee rolls his eyes again. Trots back to the chair, hasn’t sat down for a second before his leg starts bouncing. He looks at Davin expectantly, one brow raised.

“Sit there while I get my things. Twenty seconds, alright? You don’t fucking touch him.”

Renee snickers. “Chill, dude. I’ll be nice, I swear.”

His eyes follow Davin as he leaves, and then he shakes his head, mindlessly picking at his jeans. “Fucking weirdo,” he grumbles. “Everybody’s so pissed all the time.” He wipes at his chin, and seems surprised when his hand comes away red. Spends a few moments drying his face in his t-shirt, gaze sort of mindlessly drifting, until it reaches Conrad, still huddled in the corner of the bed. “Show me,” he says then. “I wanna see it.”

Conrad nervously clutches his arm tighter to his chest. The pain has faded by now, but his arm is pulsing, and he still feels warm blood seeping through his fingers, making his skin sticky. He has yet to even look at it himself, but the last thing he wants is to let Renee revel in whatever damage he caused.

Renee smiles a little, but it fades just as quickly. Eyes wide. “Show me.” He’s rocking in his seat again, a tiny back and forth, which along with the bouncing leg betrays how much he’s struggling to contain his energy.

Davin comes back with his shoulder bag, and Conrad suppresses a sigh of relief as Renee’s attention snaps to him instead.

Renee stuffs his hands in his pockets, almost like an attempt to stop fidgeting. “What do you want me to do? Hm?”

Davin dumps the bag on the desk, starts filtering through its contents. “Just try to relax.”

Renee grimaces. “I’m not gonna just fucking sit here, dude. I’m vibrating, I’m high. If you’re not gonna fuckin’… give me the Leave-Conrad-Alone talk or whatever, I’d rather just leave, you know?”

Pulling out a syringe and a glass vial, Davin nods. “I’ll let you go in a bit,” he says. Pops the cap off the syringe and lets it fall on the table.

“What’s that?”

Davin shoots him a look. “Rabies shot for Conrad.”

Renee bursts out laughing at that, leaning forward in the chair, until he’s almost folded over completely, head between his knees. “Good one,” he chuckles. And then the smile fades, and he just stares at the floor for a minute, jaw working. “God, everybody in this house is so fuckin’ dead,” he mumbles, shaking his head. “You guys don’t get it. It’s killing me, you know? It’s boring as hell. You’re boring. I’m just tryna make a living, you know?” He looks up at Davin, sneering. “I don’t even know what the fuck you’re here for. You don’t give a shit. You’re just…” He trails off, gaze drifting off to the side. “… y-… you…” And his eyelids begin to flutter slightly, restless movements fading to an uncanny stillness. The only thing that remains is that labored breathing, the occasional twitch of his mouth, almost like a wince.

“Right,” Davin mutters. He pauses drawing liquid into the syringe to check his watch again.

Conrad swallows. “What, what’s wrong with him?”

“Seizure,” Davin says simply. “He’s overdosing.”

Somehow, the thought hadn’t even crossed Conrad’s mind. He looks at Renee’s limp form in the chair, the way his body sways somewhat, the way his head slowly, slowly rolls back, exposing a throat still smeared with Conrad’s blood. His eyelids didn’t flutter before, but they do now, small bursts in between an empty gaze levelled at the ceiling.

Conrad watches as Davin sets the vial down, pulls up the sleeve of Renee’s t-shirt and injects something into his shoulder. Renee doesn’t seem to be aware of it whatsoever. He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t move. He’s just absent.

Throwing the needle in a trash bin, Davin stands back and checks his watch again. “Come on, Vaughan,” he mutters under his breath.

It takes a while longer than the last one, but Renee eventually blinks, straightening his head back up. Swallows, fishing a hand out of his pocket to scratch at his shoulder, right at the spot where Davin injected him. His knee starts bouncing again. “I forgot what I was thinking,” he says.

Davin snorts. “I bet.” He takes a deep breath before he turns to Conrad. “While that’s cooking… Come sit on the edge of the bed, yeah? You don’t have to get up, but I’d like to see it, alright?”

Conrad grits his teeth, eyes flickering to Renee. “Not when he’s in here.”

“Yeah, well, he’s not leaving for a while. C’mon, I can tell it’s bleeding. I’d like to get this over with.”

Renee snickers, resting his chin on his hand, a smug smile on his face. “Yeah, Connie. Show him.”

Davin looks on the verge of snapping something at Renee, but he composes himself. “If it’s any consolation,” he tells Conrad, “he probably won’t remember more than bits of pieces of this come tomorrow.”

Renee lets out a low chuckle. “Davin’s a liar. So there’s that.”

A knowing sort of smirk flashes over Davin’s face, just long enough for Conrad to catch it. So he takes a moment to collect himself, and then, still clutching his arm, uses his good leg to inch across the bed, wincing as the movement stirs the pain in his bad one. Maybe the pills are wearing off. Can adrenaline make that happen faster? He keeps the bad leg bent, crossed under the one he swings over the edge of the bed. Davin crouches down in front of him, and Conrad reluctantly holds out his arm, taking an anxious breath before he uncoils his hand from the wound.

He's not sure what he expected. His skin is smeared with blood, and the edges are hard to make out, but it looks like a bite mark. Two half-circles, fading before they meet. Faint indentations of molars which didn’t quite pierce the skin, but left enough of an impression to still be visible. As Davin carefully pulls the skin apart with two fingers, the wound gapes, revealing the depth of it – deep enough to need stitches, Conrad can tell already. The other side is just as bad.

Renee lets out a whistle, which breaks into laughter. “Damn. I can’t believe I did that.”

Conrad clears his throat, avoids looking in Renee’s direction. “I think something happened with, with my leg, too,” he says uncertainly. “I’m not sure, it just felt like it.”

Davin nods his understanding. “We’ll check that, too.” And he gets up to grab his supplies, throwing them on the bed next to Conrad. Pulls on a pair of disposable gloves before he crouches back down. “You know the drill by now,” he says softly.

Conrad doesn’t answer that.

He sits in pensive silence, just watching as Davin cleans his arm, feels his skin break out in goosebumps at the coldness of the saline solution. When Davin pulls apart a packet containing a syringe, he looks away. He knows where the lidocaine goes, he doesn’t want to see it.

The tight sting of the first injection makes him lock up his jaw, although he manages to keep his face neutral. The second one isn’t so bad either. But at the third one, Conrad feels the muscles in his back seize up, and he draws in a sharp breath through his nose, curling both hands into fists. Against his better judgement, he glances at Renee. But the man isn’t looking at him anymore. He’s slumped a little in the chair, staring at the ceiling, leg still bouncing a small rhythm on the floor. Even still, Conrad looks away again, turns his head. Silently thankful for the fact that although he’s in pain, at least that pain isn’t being exploited.

The lidocaine is over relatively quickly. Conrad knew it would be. When Davin starts the actual stitches themselves, there’s no pain. Just that strange, tactile feeling of the needle poking through, of the thread being pulled together. The warmth of Davin’s hands through the gloves.

Two minutes have passed, maybe three, when Renee’s low groan resonates in the room. “Hah, fuck.” He’s still slumped in the chair, but his chest has fallen a bit, hands slack over the armrests. No fidgeting, no restlessness. He just stares at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes, breathing slow and even. “Fuck,” he says again, a lazy smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Davin pauses what he’s doing, raises a brow. “You alright?”

Renee’s gaze slowly drifts down to meet the other’s. Even the way he blinks seems to lag somewhat. “Mh,” he lets out.

Smirking, Davin nods. “It’s late. Maybe it’s time to go to bed, hm?”

“Yeah,” Renee concedes. Doesn’t move, just keeps looking, in a way that doesn’t really suggest he’s paying much attention to anything.

“Do you need a hand getting there?” Davin asks.

Renee frowns a little. “Where?”

“Your bedroom.”

“Oh…” Renee sniffs, swallowing. “Nah, ’m good,” he says. Slowly, very slowly, he manages to pull his legs under him, pushing off the armrests with both hands. He staggers slightly for the first step, but then seems to catch himself – until he bumps his thigh into the corner of the desk, almost knocking over Davin’s shoulder bag in an attempt to steady himself. “Shit…” And then he trots along, feet dragging on the floor as he walks past the threshold.

Once Renee has left, Davin turns back to Conrad. He looks on the verge of saying something, but it falters. Instead he just lets out a long sigh.

“Just get it, get it over with,” Conrad mutters.

Davin smirks. “Exactly.”

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#writing #moneymakers #conrad #renee #davin

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