#congruence

[always-coffee]

Congruence

The other week, a friend taught me this concept. Basically, it’s when someone’s words match up with their actions. It is, to my mind, one of the most important things about any relationship. It solidifies trust, makes someone feel safe and valued. It’s when someone makes sense to me.

When you start to feel unsettled, this is often why: Someone said one thing, but their actions showed you something else. It can be wildly disconcerting. Because while people aren't math problems, there needs to be a sense of trust. Congruence builds trust. Incongruence does the opposite.

I say what I feel—sometimes, awkwardly or badly or just imperfectly—and I mean what I say. Because life is uncertain enough. I won’t be. Because I’ve lived that uncertainty, and I’d rather eat rocks than make someone else feel that way.

The people who make you feel ease, perhaps inexplicably so? Congruence. Care. Clarity. Certainty. It all matters. And it's been on my mind lately. And I'm deeply grateful for those relationships, old and new, that make me feel calm.

Lately, I've been the most at ease I've ever been, and it's wild (in a good way). Situations or moments that would've, historically, made me anxious have not. Instead, the moment feels right. Or that action feels right. And for someone who has so often been unsettled and done the thing anyway, it's such a strange, welcome feeling.

And that is today's lesson, I think. I've been constantly in motion toward those who light up my heart. Who are genuine. And I'll take every damn day of the week, but twice on Sundays.

[dillypillars]

kaya! 20 he/him | marzipan apologist

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please read my carrd before following <3

[sensationalsegue]

“Remember the therapist who talked about congruence? It was a good thing to be congruent with oneself. Sitting on her neutral couch, I pictured myself as two lines not touching, running indefinitely through a landscape, bumping up perfectly over rocks and tracing the outlines of trees, always equidistant from each other and from the surface of solid things. Myself running in a line beside myself.

Even then I wondered, Wouldn't it be better to be incongruent?

To have the chance of meeting myself if only for a fleeting moment?

There is a much better chance of that now.”

~ Anne De Marcken, “It Lasts Forever and Then It’s Over

[unfoldingmoments]

How to Become More Articulate

The etymology of the word articulate means to unite by joining together. So becoming articulate is nothing more than accurate communication. It means that you're able to express your ideas, your thoughts, all of it that is within here. You're able to express that without outside externally in a way that people can understand.

The 5 powerful secrets on how to be more articulate:

1. Communicate in terms of their values The goal is to have a dialogue with another person where there is exchange of ideas, exchange of thoughts, or exchange of responses as well. So then communicate in terms of their values, allows that open lines of communication to occur. The ultimate effect is that they're going to feel appreciated for who they are and understood for who they are as well. And the moment that the one that you are communicating with feels understood by you, feels that you are serving them, feels that you're fulfilling what's most important to them, they will open up to you and they will be more open to hearing your ideas.

They'll be more open to receiving your thoughts as well and your recommendations. And they'll be more open, open to seeing you as somebody who is more friendly and trustworthy.

2. Create dialogue Now a dialogue is extremely important to become more articulate.

And the reason why is because as you have a dialogue, the other person is giving you feedback. Did they understand it?

That they arrive at the same conclusion, were they interpreting it the way that you intended it to be interpreted.

And that feedback is really important and very valuable in order for you to iterate and have iterations of your responses so that you become more and more articulate as the conversation progresses. And it's really important because the opposite of a dialogue is called an alternating monologue. How to adjust your conversation style or maybe adjust what you're saying or maybe come at it from a different angle and so on.

So this feedback through dialogue is absolutely crucial to becoming more articulate with that communication partner.

And when you are having that dialogue, the mindset is to seek to understand, to understand their perspective,

to understand what are their highest values, what is important to them, what are their top priorities, what are they looking for? What is the outcomes they wanna produce?

To really seek to understand and seeking to understand could mean that you're asking great questions to really uncover the heart of it, what it it is they're looking for.

And through that process you are really enriching that dialogue of feedback and you're really giving yourself an opportunity to iterate and become more and more articulate as the conversation progresses. 3. Convey congruence A congruence means that your thoughts, your words, your actions and your perceptions are in unison. Congruency is really important because the other end of the receiving line, whoever you're communicating with, they wanna know that you mean, what you say. They wanna know that your word is your flesh.They wanna know that you mean it.

They wanna know that you are wholeheartedly expressing that, especially when it comes to offering help, when it comes to demonstrating care, when it comes to really creating a partnership or a collaboration, they wanna know the heart of who you are and if you really mean it. Cuz even if the words you're saying are tending towards a certain outcome or a certain intention, if the words you choose say one thing, but your thoughts and your body language and your perspectives are completely different, that energy gets conveyed outwards as well. And people can pick up on it. They've got a sense that there's something off, but they might not be able to put their finger on it.

That if you desire to build meaningful relationships or maybe successful collaborations, the con congruence is extremely important. 4. Consider your Lexicon There are 3 sides of lexicon: 1. the concordance of a person 2. which language are you communicating in? 3. a particular branch of knowledge.

So all of these 3 things make up a body known as lexicon.

So consider your lexicon. And this really means it really boils down to your accurate choice of words. - Do your words accurately convey the dynamicity of your ideas - Do your words accurately convey how you feel about certain things -Do your words accurately convey the seriousness or the profundity of a situation How do you build that lexicon? Read great literature from individuals who have great lexicon. 5. Command Phonetics Phonetics is the speech sounds, all the sounds that you make with the consonants and the vowels.Your vowels are a e i o U and your consonants and all the other letters of the alphabet. So these make up your speech sounds. So when it comes to articulating the phonetics, you have an anatomy that is perfect for phonetics.

If you look at the anatomy, anything between your lips and your vocal chords down here, that is the perfect anatomy for articulation. So the articulators are the parts of that anatomy that lend themselves to speech sounds.

So these include your lips, your upper lip, your bottom lip, your teeth, your gum ridge, which is the gums right behind your two front teeth.

It is also your hard palate, your soft palate, your pharynx, your uvula, and also the glottis which is the space between your vocal chords at this level.

So all of these parts of the anatomy make up your articulators and you exercise the muscles of your articulators to be able to produce the sounds that are accurate to the words that you are conveying. Ref from Youtube: "How to Become More Articulate with 5 Powerful Secrets" by Dr Grace Lee

[sheilamurrey]

Congruence in Action: Aligning Beliefs and Actions.

By: Hector Sampson. We frequently find ourselves lamenting the state of the world, lamenting how dire things have become. But have you ever paused to…Congruence in Action: Aligning Beliefs and Actions.

[oh-dear-so-queer]

Finding a degree of congruence within myself that I'd never experienced before helped me to see the danger in my former beliefs – not just for queer folks whose identities and lives are problematic to the Christian schema, but for human beings full stop.

"In/Out: A Scandalous Story of Falling Into Love and Out of the Church" - Steph Lentz

[tenth-sentence]

In fact, there was a congruence between my transitory life and the bare-bones emptiness of those locales that made me feel at ease.

"In/Out: A Scandalous Story of Falling Into Love and Out of the Church" - Steph Lentz

[yesterdaysnewstodayandtomorrow]

Sponsorship Post Bellin Health

Bellin Health

[math1089]

Clock Arithmetic: Understanding Modular Arithmetic with Timepieces

In the presence of so many beautiful creations of his thought the mathematician lives long and lives young: he rejoices in the grandeur of the height to which his controlled imagination attains.Robert D. Carmichael A clock is a device used to measure and indicate time. Normally, it displays the time in hours, minutes, and often seconds during a 12- or 24-hour period. In this blog post, we will…

[brilliantlybee]

Bee Congruent

To "bee" brilliantly authentic is to stay true to yourself and your values, even when it's challenging. It's a path to stronger, more fulfilling relationships and a healthier, happier you.

Inconsistencies between words and actions, often referred to as incongruence, can be a significant source of problems in relationships. When individuals say one thing but do another, it creates confusion, erodes trust, and can lead to a host of issues. On the contrary, being authentic, even when it’s uncomfortable, is crucial for both personal well-being and maintaining healthy…

[indigosfindings]

replaying super paper mario, sporadic thoughts post-chapter 2:

very easy so far--& although ttyd was also easy, spm's gameplay is sadly substantially less rich thab ttyd's was

having said that the game design in spm is! unrelentingly charming!! the use of platforming as a framework for a varied stream of stage styles (straightforward levels, dungeons, towns, the entire 2-3 Situation) is creative in a way that imo predicts the sort of things the mario maker community later ended up making. chapter 2's set pieces in particular are extremely quirky (the rooms with traps, the rubee thing, the mazelike basement, the merlee game show lmao)

few platformers have boss fights that feel like genuine Combat, so that's pretty cool

i will confess that as a First Dungeon, yold ruins doesnt have half the sauce of hooktail castle--it's much more linear in layout, with far less of that zelda-y "explore & comprehend the space" principle that made ttyd's dungeons hit

in a similar vein, it's kind of crazy how tippi has like a fraction of the personality that goombella had. it's a bit sad for the character doing the vast majority of the talking to just.... not really have any opinions on anything

the momentum of the chapters likewise means very few npcs ever get to stick out. like, even the "first town crotchety old mayor" character was a total one-and-done, one dialogue and you never have a reason to speak to him again (mostly just speaks to the game structure, which is as mentioned a bold enough exercise that i feel i cant really fault it for that)

bringing up a menu to use items In A Platforming Context is not at all natural to me, so im finding myself just not really using them

this game is a masterclass in visual design imo. the npcs & enemies & pixls being made of primitives that reconfigure themselves into different shapes really elevates the interplay of 2d & 3d, the backgrounds/environments are extremely aesthetically satisfying (the Mathmosphere in lineland, the optical illusion in the sky in gloam valley, all of castle bleck), & i love how the constant "digital/tech" motif (eg the "dragging selection boxes to flip/teleport", the trees & shrubs looking like something youd make in ms paint, etc) is an ingenious progression of paper mario's core aesthetic design

dimentio is so fun

i ADOOOORE nastasia

the inter-chapter dialogue flashbacks are surprisingly earnest? for such a tongue-in-cheek game where almost every line of dialogue contains a joke of some kind, those exchanges feel humourless & sincere. that probably contributes to the Space the game occupies in all of our memories lol

likewise it was really interesting how peach's "escape" sequence after chapter 1 was (while, again, still extremely sardonic) aesthetically & narratively framed with such a sense of Hopelessness. that's not to say like "woahh this mario game is 10x darker than you thought!!!!", more that it's just not a space the series commonly ventures into

the Ancients stuff is being leaned into extremely hard lol. ttyd mostly teases at that kind of "mysterious rpg lore" thing peripherally (the riddle tower inscriptions, grifty, etc) so it's interesting how spm puts it front & centre in contrast, without ever sacrificing the sense of mystique

this game really highlights how interesting the wiimote is as a controller--pressing the A button while holding it sideways (ie removing your left thumb from the direction input to press a button) is something that i cant think of any other controller doing, & it projects onto that button a really interesting sense of, like, Valence

it's the kind of game that seems to beg for one of thsoe posts like "things that ACTUALLY HAPPEN in _____"

[ppenguinpperson]

MY LOVE!!!

[i-cast-zone-of-truth]

also….. Zhao Yuanzhou’s death happening in the quiet lull after the huge climactic showdown, when you’re supposed to have a minute and nothing bad is supposed to happen. You know what I mean?

[bubbloquacious]

How do you guys like this very convoluted proof of the Pythagorean theorem I just made

[boycritter]

modular arithmetic is crazy what do you MEAN 3=14 what the HELL

[consceleratuswrites]

You know what? EVERYTHING was way better on tumblr and still is. And now we have Blue Sky anyways. I can’t stress the change in mood and clarity that has come to me since deleting the ‘toxic bird’ app from my phone and not checking it - especially in these trying times.

At this point all ‘the app’ does is show gloating imbeciles and rage-baiting losers and the people arguing with them… OR the despair that is encouraged by the algorithm system that feeds on misery.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t despair - the world is substantially worse off now. But we should at least give ourselves the space to surround ourselves with the things we love, the people that bring us joy and the environment that encourages us to thrive. That’s all we can do. That’s how we fight back - by surviving. As we did before the great migration to an awful space that actively use us as target practise for their botched humour and spite.

Just… delete the bird app man. Stop giving Elon money for his Ket habit. You’re funding all the things that actively work against you with looking at the ads and interacting with bots. I promise you that you will be happier.