#congratulations on the wedding-funeral double feature
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i am experiencing emotions which can be best described as “not super jazzed”
#everything was going FINE but they just HAD to say it#jinx of the century imo#also idc who you are and what you do if you start calling someone the first flower of my house im gonna consider you married#congratulations on the wedding-funeral double feature#at least they got the one flesh part right#ok end of rant#i just wanted them to be happy T.T#tlt#tlt spoilers#the locked tomb#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#harrow the ninth#gideon the ninth#gideon the ninth spoilers
208 notes
·
View notes
Text
Send Flowers Online: A Convenient Way to Brighten Someone's Day
In today's fast-paced world, sending flowers online has become an increasingly popular choice for many. Whether it's a birthday, anniversary, or just a thoughtful gesture to brighten someone’s day, ordering flowers online offers a convenient and efficient solution. This article explores the benefits of sending flowers online, the variety available, and tips for making the perfect selection.
One of the most significant advantages of sending flowers online is convenience. With just a few clicks, you can browse through countless arrangements from the comfort of your home or office. Online flower shops are accessible 24/7, allowing you to place your order at any time that suits you. This flexibility means you no longer have to rush to a local florist or worry about closing hours. Sending flowers online makes it easy to surprise loved ones without the hassle.
When you choose to send flowers online, you open up a world of options. From classic roses to exotic orchids, the variety available is astounding. Online florists often showcase seasonal flowers, allowing you to select blooms that are fresh and vibrant. Additionally, you can choose arrangements tailored for specific occasions, such as weddings, funerals, or congratulations. This extensive selection ensures that you can find the perfect bouquet for every event.
Another benefit of sending flowers online is the ability to personalize your gift. Many online florists offer add-ons such as chocolates, greeting cards, or stuffed animals. These options allow you to create a unique gift that reflects your relationship with the recipient. By personalizing your order, you can convey a heartfelt message that adds an extra touch to your floral delivery.
When sending flowers online, it's essential to consider delivery options. Most online florists offer same-day or next-day delivery services, ensuring your flowers arrive promptly. This feature is especially useful for last-minute gifts. To ensure a successful delivery, double-check the recipient’s address and any specific delivery instructions. This attention to detail will help avoid any mix-ups and ensure your thoughtful gesture is well received.
It's also wise to consider the environmental impact of sending flowers online. Many online florists prioritize sustainability by sourcing flowers from local growers and using eco-friendly packaging. By choosing a florist that practices sustainable methods, you can enjoy the beauty of flowers while minimizing your carbon footprint.
In conclusion, sending flowers online is a modern, convenient way to express your feelings and celebrate special moments. The extensive variety available allows you to find the perfect arrangement for any occasion, while personalization options ensure that your gift stands out. With reliable delivery services and the potential for eco-friendly practices, sending flowers online is not just a gift; it's a thoughtful expression of love and appreciation. So the next time you want to brighten someone's day, consider the ease and beauty of sending flowers online.
0 notes
Text
12:45 AM | Sirius Black x Reader
Warnings: major character death, angstÂ
Time/Era: Marauders era, Age 20 (and a smidge of 18)
Word Count:Â 2.8kÂ
Summary: Sirius will never forget that one night when he looked at the clock and saw 12:45 am.Â
Request: yo, can I request a story where Sirius is dating Lily’s sister (twin/younger) and he realizes he likes her and they start dating and eventually get married and they’re both in the order but she dies on a mission and at the funeral Lily tells Sirius that she was expecting? Wow I’m kinda evil.
A/N: Thank you for the request and patience! Enjoy!
masterlist | sirius black playlist | read on ao3
“Evans!” James yelled, running towards Y/N. Y/N sighed, holding her books tightly to her chest and turning around. His Gryffindor tie flew across his chest as he came to a sudden stop.Â
“I’m not Lily, Potter. Honestly, if you’re going to date my twin you need to be able to tell us apart.”Â
James throws his head back with a loud laugh before shaking his head. “No, no, I know you’re not Lily. I just needed to talk to you,” He leans his hands on his knees as he struggles to catch his breath. “It’s insulting you think I can’t tell you apart. No offense, Y/N, but you don’t have the same….oopla that Lily has.”Â
“Oopla? What is oopla?” Y/N asks, amused. Even after seven years of being friends with James, she never quite got over some of his strange analogies.Â
“Something Lily has, don’t you listen?” James straightens his back and twists, cracking his spine. “It’s not that you don’t have oopla, it’s just different oopla.”Â
Y/N shakes her head. “You know what, I don’t even want to know. Why do you need to talk to me?”Â
“Talk to you? Why do I need to-” A lightbulb goes off in James’ head. “Oh! I know why I need to talk to you! Sirius was looking for you. Something about after graduation plans or something. I’m not quite sure, I didn’t ask.”Â
“Do you know where he is?”Â
“That’s another thing I don’t know,” A goofy grin filled his features as he spoke.Â
“You don’t make for a very good owl, Jamesy.”
“Good thing I’m not an owl then,” James said, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Do you know where Lily is?”Â
“No clue, you would know better than me seeing as you have a map and all,” Y/N’s grin matched James’ and she started to walk down the hall.Â
“Don’t you have twin telepathy or something?! Just use that and tell me where she is!”Â
“Bye, Potter!” Y/N called over her shoulder while walking towards McGonagall’s office. She remembered vaguely that Sirius had a career counseling session with her today, so she figured that the small chance of bumping into him there would be worth her while.Â
Y/N pattered across the floor as quickly as possible without running. Thoughts swirled in her mind about what Sirius may need her for; they weren’t the closest of friends, nothing like him and the other marauders, but recently their relationship has grown rather flirty. Her stomach fumbled over itself as she thought of Sirius, but her feet only sped up towards the classroom. As Y/N rounded the corner, Sirius walked out of his meeting with his pearly white smile blinding all who could see it.Â
“Oh, just the lady I’ve been looking for! Hello, darling,” Sirius said, walking down the hall with various papers clutched in his fingers.Â
“Hello, Sirius. Career meeting?” Y/N asks with a subtle gesture to the papers. He waved the papers in the air with a dramatic flourish. Each paper held some grand title about being an Auror and going to the Auror Academy.Â
“Good! Apparently Dumbledore put in a good word for me, so the Order is recruiting me!” Sirius seemed to bounce on his heels, the rubber souls of his shoes squeaking on the wooden floors.Â
“I’m so happy for you! Oh my god! Congratulations!!!”Â
The grin on his face grew exponentially, “You know what would make my day even better?”Â
Y/N hummed.Â
“If you snuck into Hogsmede for a drink with me,” Sirius leans in to whisper in her ear. “Unless you’re too scared, of course.”Â
Y/N sucked in a harsh breath through her nose in an attempt not to focus on his hair tickling her cheek, or how his lips almost brushed her ear. She cleared her throat and nodded.Â
“Not scared if you’re not, I suppose,” Y/N croaked. “I’ve done it, like, a million times.”Â
Sirius pulled his head away, making Y/N yearn for the smell of his shampoo. “I can think of one time, and you were latched onto my wrist the entire time, rambling about how we could get expelled for skipping class.”Â
A harsh red stained Y/N’s chest, cheeks, and ears, which only made Sirius’ smirk grow.Â
“I was a different person then,” Y/N countered lamely.Â
“Yeah? That was four months ago, love.” Sirius’ hands worked on his papers, folding them four times before shoving them into the pockets of his skinny jeans. Y/N’s eyes followed his teasing fingers, her gaze accidentally lingering on his pants. “Eyes up here, Y/N.”Â
The boy made a small tsk noise, wrapped his arm around Y/N’s shoulders, and his hips swayed slightly as he started leading Y/N to the entrance to the Honeyduke’s cellar. His fingers found the bottom of her hair and started twirling it in and out of his middle and pointer fingers as if it were a cigarette.Â
“I’m a different person than I was 4 months ago, aren’t you?” Y/N hesitantly snaked her arm under his leather jacket and wrapped around his waist. This was definitely further than they had ever gone in terms of flirting, and Y/N couldn’t wait for more.Â
“Perfect four months ago, and perfect now.” Sirius laughed playfully placing a big kiss on Y/N’s temple. “I’m just taking the piss, love.” He turned to the statue blocking the tunnel and said the secret password. “Ladies first, darling.”Â
Y/N hesitantly walked into the dark tunnel and cast a simple lumos charm; the damp pathway illuminated in front of the two teens before twisting into the darkness. Sirius returned to his spot next to Y/N and began to lead her down the path.Â
“So, I was wondering,” Sirius began, kicking a rock into the wall. Y/N noticed this was a habit of his. “We’ve been friends for a long time,”Â
Y/N snuggled into his side, the warm cotton of the inside of his leather jacket brushing her soft skin.Â
“And we’re graduating soon…” Sirius let his voice trail before pulling lightly on Y/N’s hair so she would meet his gaze. “And I was wondering if you wanted to spend some special one on one time with me after we graduate?”Â
“Special one on one time? Like,” Y/N took a deep breath and took a leap into the unknown. “Hooking up? Is that what you mean?”Â
Sirius chuckled lightly, “Not exactly, but I guess that would be a part of it,” Sirius’s cheeky smile was illuminated by the light of Y/N’s wand. “I mean becoming official. I know there’s something between us, and I know you feel the same way, so it makes sense.”
“So, you’re asking me to be your girlfriend?”Â
“Precisely. Will you be my girlfriend?” Sirius stopped walking and looked at the girl under his arm. She smiled happily and lightly punched his stomach.Â
“I can’t believe you asked me out in the middle of a dark tunnel!” She laughed happily and brought her arms up to his neck to hug him.Â
“Hey! I thought it was a good place! Is that a yes, babygirl?” Â
“Yes, you idiot, I’ll go out with you!”Â
~
Sirius and Y/N’s relationship blossomed quickly after the tunnel; after graduation, they moved into a small flat right in the middle of London’s hustle and bustle. Sirius loved to go out and explore every inch of the city with his girl, which usually resulted in a lot of adventures and long nights. During these times, the couple really took the time to grow their relationship and become closer as a pair.Â
Sirius proposed to Y/N in the middle of an ice skating rink on December 13th, 1978. It was perfect; the snow was floating down, gracefully sticking to Sirius’ hair and eyelashes, soft Christmas music was playing in the background and the entire atmosphere of the event was magical. It was a rather simple proposal, but it was more than enough for Y/N. The couple then had a stunning double Summer wedding with the Potters.Â
Sirius did amazing in the Order, which Y/N later found out all the marauders had joined. Y/N grew used to Sirius being gone during the nights and coming back injured; this was something she would never wish on her worst enemy. The anxiety-ridden nights and the unbearably silent flat took a toll on Y/N’s mental health. The only thing that got her through these was her twin sister, who was in the same situation.Â
The two girls often spent these lonely nights together in attempts to share the burden. The two waited into the early morning nights for something, anything, to ease their tired minds and let them know their boys were safe. Usually, one would send a patronus message or Remus would reach out with cryptic plans and whereabouts. Still, this didn’t completely resolve the paranoia in their minds.Â
Sirius and James noticed this early on in their new careers. Sirius suggested they invite the two to join the Order, as you didn’t need to be an Auror to join. But, James disagreed with this idea because Lily was his world and he didn’t want her to get hurt. Without Lily, there was no James and he couldn’t risk losing her. Sirius countered that he felt that way about Y/N too, but keeping the two women in the dark was just harming their relationships and causing a mental decline in all four. It took some convincing, but James finally agreed. Thus, Lily and Y/N joined the Order.Â
The two were brilliant additions to the group; both were extremely talented witches and they were beyond smart. They quickly grew to be vital members and went on increasingly more dangerous missions as time went on. The two were an unstoppable pair, and their near-identical looks only proved to be an advantage. That was until Lily got hurt.Â
Lily and Y/N were on a mission to stop a group of death eaters from invading a small muggle village just outside of Cardiff. Lily got caught between the crossfire of two wizards and had a huge chunk of flesh taken out of her leg. Y/N had to make an emergency backup call and the two were apperated back to headquarters. That’s when James and Lily decided as a couple that Lily was not going to go on any more missions.Â
Y/N, however, only increased the amounts of missions she went on. Specifically, she was after one person in particular.
“I don’t care, Y/N, you can’t go,” Sirius pleaded angrily from the couch. “You can’t go on a mission every day of the week. Just one night, love. Stay with me for one night.” Sirius stood and walked to Y/N, wrapping his arms around her waist and placing a kiss on her forehead.Â
“Babe, I am so close to capturing Bellatrix and putting her in Azkaban. Please, I have to go.” Against her better judgment, Y/N placed her head on his chest. She wanted nothing more than to curl up in her husband’s arms and let his soft voice lure her cramped body to sleep. Y/N noticed she seemed to be more fatigued lately, but she placed blame on her heavy work schedule.
 “I need you here, with me, baby. Between your schedule and mine, I barely see you. I miss you.” Sirius’ hands massaged her hips as they talked, all anger and annoyance disappearing from his voice.Â
“How about this, we both take the next two or three days off and lounge around here together.” Y/N pulled away from Sirius’ warm, inviting body and began to gather her things. “Please try to get some sleep tonight, I’ll be home by dawn.”Â
“I promise, my dear. I love you so much.”Â
A ghost of a smile played on Y/N’s lips. “I love you more.”Â
~
Sirius was awoken by James’ magnificent stag patronus entering the flat to find him. Rubbing his eyes and sitting up, unable to distinguish what words James’ voice was repeating. Sirius looked at the clock: 12:45 am.
“Can you repeat that?” Sirius’ voice was gruff with sleep.
“Pads, there’s been an accident. You need to get to headquarters immediately, it doesn’t look good. We need you to make some calls.” James’ voice was filled with more panic than Sirius had ever heard in his life, and there was the faint sound of a woman crying in the background. The patronus disappeared as Sirius jumped up and magically changed into some clothes.Â
“Thank merlin you’re here,” James pulled Sirius’ arm into the next room once he appeared. He had blood splattered on his face.Â
Upon entering the room, everything started to fade. Y/N was laid on the floor, a large gash in her shoulder and head, with healers all around her preforming different spells and CPR. To her left sat Lily, her fingers coated in the red substance and gripping Y/N’s cold hand. She was crying, more like sobbing, while she watched the healers work on her sister. Sirius didn’t know whether he wanted to cry, puke or faint. All three, his body screamed.
 On the outside, no emotion covered Sirius’ face and he stood frozen near the door. He felt as if he was watching the situation happen from outside his body, almost like he was playing a video game or watching a movie.Â
“She’s not going to make it!” One of the healers yelled, preforming compressions on her chest. The healer to his right, who was working on the head gash, cursed loudly and punched the floor.Â
“She’s going to make it, god damn it! I’ll be damned if she doesn’t!”Â
James nudged Sirius with his elbow, and his soul felt as though it returned to his body. Jumping to her side, he grabbed Y/N’s hand and squeezed.Â
“Y/N, I love you so much,” Sirius said through his suffering.Â
Her gorgeous green eyes that were focused on Lily rolled to see him and her lips mouthed, “I love you too, Sirius.”Â
Sirius swore a smile ghosted her lips as her eyes closed and a final gasp exited her lips.Â
~
Sirius stood in front Y/N’s grave in a slightly wrinkled black suit.
 The funeral service had been beautiful; all of Y/N’s friends, family, and casual acquaintances had been in attendance. Her close friends spoke of her adventures and funny stories, her family spoke of her character and strong will, and her professors spoke of her intelligence and quick wit. It didn’t click for Sirius that she was really gone until Minerva McGonagall had asked him how he was holding up, and if there was anything she could do to help. Sirius had responded that no, there was nothing she could do and that he was currently staying at the Potters’ for company.Â
Sirius looked at the grave in front of him; it was littered with flowers, chocolate, and everything in between. He looked to his side and found Lily, staring down at Y/N next to him. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, and her nose was rubbed raw.Â
“I could have saved her, you know. I was trying to talk her out of going. I should have tried harder.” Sirius mumbled, his voice cracking every other word.Â
“This isn’t your fault, Sirius. You couldn’t have done anything,” Lily sniffled. She had no tears left, but if she did, she would be crying.Â
Sirius takes in a big gulp of air and stares down at the grave in silence.Â
“This might not be the right time,” Lily took a deep breath and looked at her friend. His eyes were dry and his nose wasn’t red, but Lily knew how hard he cries at night when he thought James and Lily were asleep. “But you need to know.”Â
“Need to know what?”Â
Lily paused for a moment before reaching in her bag and pulling something out.Â
“When James went to your flat to grab your clothes, um, he found this in the bathroom.”Â
Sirius reaches out his hand for Lily to hand him the mysterious object.Â
It was a muggle pregnancy test. A positive muggle pregnancy test. ~~~
General Taglist: @petalevans @modern-m-a-g-i-c​ Harry Potter x Reader Taglist: @strangerpilot011 join my taglist!
#sirius black#sirius oneshot#sirius orion black#sirius#sirius black x reader#sirius black x you#sirius black x reader angst#harry potter#harry potter x reader#marauders#marauders era#the marauders#marauders x reader#marauders x you#james potter#james potter x reader#james fleamont potter#remus lupin#remus john lupin#remus lupin x reader#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black fanfic#marauders fanfiction#jk rowling#the wizarding world of harry potter
316 notes
·
View notes
Text
Re-Engaging: SLC Reunion Pt I
Part one of the the first season reunion! We get the typical footage of the women’s jitters before the reunion begins. Whitney and her glam team saying they’re going to really feature her new boob job in the look for the evening. Jen and Heather saying they’re excited. I would be excited too! I mean, I’m a shady bitch... I would love to get paid to sit around and talk smack to people’s faces.Â
The set is actually pretty shah-mazing. Imagine a very gay food court set up for Santa, but socially distanced. Andy Cohen says, “This is the Super Bowl, guys!” Accurate. These reunions really are like the gay Super Bowl, complete with fumbles, MVP’s, and emotional tackles. Those are the four football terms I know. OK... Roll footage. I love that!
Andy opens by saying he gives the season two thumbs up, and congratulates the women. “Hey, Lisa! Does God care now that you own at tequila company?”
“Yeah. He’s blessing me by selling more.” All the women look very rested, and their makeup for the most part in my opinion is pretty understated. Lisa has a somewhat modest outfit. Her tan is looking very nice. Very white teeth. A curled look for her hair. It’s sort of fancy free, and I love that for her.
Heather is wearing a light pink dress with a bejeweled motif that is somehow both tight, but also does almost nothing to show off her curves. It’s very Mormon, but make it fashion.
Whitney is giving me beachy vibes with her blonde bob this evening with a plunging-neckline maroon sequined number and a pair of really EXPENSIVE white gold hoops.
Mary looks like Beyonce’s wax figurine at Madame Toussaud’s, with a rose gold sparkling dress and eyeshadow to match.
Meredith looks like Jessica Rabbit got dressed in the dark and is now ushering a Cirque Du Soleil knockoff show at the Nomad Hotel Casino, but what do I know? This is probably just too fashion forward for me to understand.
Jen stopped at the Spirit Halloween inside the closed Linens-n-Things next to Heather’s new Beauty Lab+Laser and bought a knock-off Jasmine from Aladdin costume.
Some highlights from the customary 20-minute greetings are Heather being DM’d by Rihanna and being told Rihanna thinks Heather is “everything,” and Jen promising to be “Zen Jen,” unless somebody “makes [her] turn up.” So basically no one has learned anything. We’re off to a great start for this reunion. I’m glad everyone is on the same page for what makes a good viewing experience. These reunions are like group therapy if no one were willing to change, and everyone lied and yelled the whole time. I’m NOT disengaging for this one.
Round one! (This is a boxing reference. I’m basically a jock now). Whitney’s journey this season is shown, and Andy brings up the whole swinger situation. Whitney denies being a swinger herself, but says she knows a lot of Mormons who do it, and it’s very Mormon 2.0. I give this one to Whitney because Lisa is riled up, and it was like very nuanced shade, especially for Whitney. Whitney zing!
Next Andy asks how Meredith feels about Jen’s reaction to Brooks’s sweat suit line at Park City Fashion Week, asking “Are you appalled that Jen would be picking on a child?”
Meredith replies, “One hundred percent I was ... He saved his own money to launch his brand ... He should be commended, not criticized.” So Brooks (who by the way is well over 21 at this point, but at the time of filming was definitely NOT a child) should always be commended no matter what, even though he couldn’t even be industrious enough to rip off two Givenchy track suits? Also how was Brooks saving his own money? What does he do for work to earn this money? He couldn’t even call the coordinator of the fashion show himself to say he was going to be late!
We also learn that Meredith was not upset that Jen made Meredith’s birthday party all about her, but she was upset that it was thrown on Lisa’s actual birthday. We are shown unseen footage of a thousand-plus dollar wedding cake for Meredith being wheeled out and a comparatively tiny birthday cake for Lisa being brought out behind it. Unseen footage of Lisa singing happy birthday to herself is also shown. So that makes two women who were confused as to whose birthday party it was and singing anyway: Lisa and the drunk woman whose name I won’t mention because she attempted to overtake the Capitol. Conversely, Lisa reveals that she wasn’t upset about the birthday party itself, the thing that she found to be upset about was how Heather gave her a quick once over because Heather had heard that LIsa was calling Heather a “good-time girl.” Don’t worry though, because Lisa explains what actually happened, saying, “ I said she was a good time! My friend told me an antecdote ... Heather was so much fun. She would press her boobs up against things.” Heather denies all allegations of ignoring Lisa, and Lisa yells, “Roll footage!” Heather tells her that’s not a thing, as the footage of Heather blatantly ignoring Lisa is shown. Lisa calls Heather a pathological liar.
I will say, In this situation originally, I was on Heather’s side, but it does seem like Lisa really didn’t know Heather prior to filming. If we remember even more though, it was Jen who told Heather that Lisa had said this about Heather in the first place.
Andy asks Whitney what he thought of Lisa’s comments regarding her love of the stripper pole. Whitney says she is more angry at the overall vibe Lisa gives that she’s better than Whitney. I definitely can see where this is coming from; Lisa and Meredith do seem to have an elitist attitude toward the other women, however, Lisa hypocritically claims that she doesn’t have a problem with Whitney’s dancing in general, just how she handled herself at Sharrieff’s put-put golf birthday party, “twerking” in front of another woman’s husband. Footage is shown of Lisa trying and failing to one-up Whitney’s splits on the dancefloor. The editors throw in a helpful arrow to let us know where in the crowd Sharrieff is standing (far closer to LIsa). Whitney says Lisa called Whitney trash multiple times, to which Lisa replies that she only called Whitney trash once, AND SHE CAN’ EXPLAIN THAT! I’m glad we’re only sticking to the facts here. Objectively, Whitney, you are trash, but I’ve only called you that once. Love that.
After commercial, we are shown Jen’s season highlights (This really is similar to SportsCenter, isn’t it?) It’s mostly footage of Jen yelling, throwing things, crying, more yelling, and crying more. We find out that Heather’s father passed away in April, though. Mary shares that her father also died this past year, but she has this weird dreamy chipmunk look in her eye when she says it. Also, I love how these women aren’t even going to pretend for the cameras they know even the most basic things the others are dealing with when the cameras aren’t rolling. HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW YOUR “FRIEND’S” FATHER DIED?! Heather says that there’s more than enough drama to talk about during this reunion without talking about her dad’s passing. Exactly! The really important stuff, like how Mary can fit into a loofah dress that most people can’t.
Andy asks Jen what it is exactly all her assistants do. We learn that Jen actually has a real job in the marketing field. While I doubt that she actually came up with the technology she uses, I was impressed with the amount of industry jargon she threw out. She says she does “direct response marketing.” I worked in advertising for five months, and I was basically an assistant. I can confirm that telling people they were pretty all the time was about 90% of my job as well.
Jen goes into the story of her father’s passing and Sharrieff missing the funeral. We learn that Jen nearly kicked him out for missing it, and it’s a very big point of contention for the two of them. This is where I start to feel sorry for Jen. While I can’t justify much of her behavior this season, it does seem like she’s dealing with both the loss of her father and realizing that her 20-year marriage is not as solid as it could be.
Speaking of Jen’s behavior, someone from Hawaii asks if Jen thinks it’s appropriate to act the way she did all season at 50 years old. At this, time stands still, and the women are ALL flabbergasted. How DARE?! Jen is only 48! So distracted by being confused for someone two WHOLE TWO YEARS older, Jen needs to regroup before saying, “Shit happens.” and that she’s just “temperamental,” which, according to Oxford Dictionary means “liable to unreasonable changes of mood”. Jen just admitted her behavior is unreasonable. ROLL THAT FOOTAGE! Mary jumps in and talks about how she has been a scapegoat for Jen all season, which didn’t really make sense because Mary seems like a genuinely terrible, racist scam artist. Don’t kick her off the show, though. It’s very entertaining!
Andy brings up vagina-gate. This was very revealing to me. (See what I did there?) Meredith says she’s upset with Jen for purposely “rattling” her kids. Jen claims that she loves Meredith’s kids, and she would never do anything to harm them. Jen says that the whole story was taken out of context, and Brooks had caught Meredith smoking, which is the real reason Brooks was so upset. Meredith reveals that she does occasionally smoke a cigarette (but so what? Meredith is cool, and smoking is very elegant), and she says that Jen recorded Meredith smoking without her knowledge or permission. Jen denies this allegation (but looks like she’s lying to me). The real confusion is cleared up, though, and we learn that Brooks in fact did see Jen’s vagina, and he had to go to Best Buy at that point. Meredith also reveals that she had not invited Jen to sleep over that night, but Jen passed out in Meredith’s bed and had to borrow one of Brooks’s track suits in order to have something to wear home the next morning. Jen denies this as well, and doubles down, saying that Meredith was actually the one who passed out. This is like the time my mom caught me drinking when I was 16, and she said, “:You’re drunk!” and I said, “No I’m not. You’re drunk!” Jesus, Jen!
Meredith accuses Jen of attacking Brooks on social media, calling him white privileged. (Um, that’s not an attack, Meredith. That’s just the truth. I’m white privileged, and I can’t even open a credit card right now). Jen denies this too, and the following tweet is shown: “ @therealitybitch R U SERIOUS?????? I never went spread eagle... it's COMPLETELY INSANE to me that NOT ONLY did you all SEE I DIDNT but bcuz a white privelaged family tells you I did, you somehow think I Sis something wrong. (Girl with face palm emoji).” Arguably my favorite part of this episode is the dramatic music playing as the misspelled words “white privelaged” are highlighted on screen.
Next we’re shown Lisa’s highlight real, where she mostly says, “I love that,” and talks about how much she loves herself and what a go-getter she is. Andy asks Whitney which couple out of the group she would swing with, and Whitney answers Meredith. Not Seth. Just Meredith. Really, Whitney? You don’t want to get down with Mary and her grandfather? At this point, Jen’s superiority complex is brought up by essentially all the women except Meredith. I understand LIsa’s response; she doesn’t feel like she owes anyone an explanation for how she acts like a boss bitch, and I truly believe her. I guess I have a soft spot for Lisa? I am team Lisa on this one for sure, though. I don’t understand why Heather and Whitney feel the need to change Lisa’s attitude. Meredith jumps in and says that Lisa says the same things to her in the same tone, and Meredith doesn’t take it personally, which is why she and Lisa have been able to remain close friends for ten years. This rings true to me.
What gets tricky to me, though, is then Heather and Lisa start fighting. Lisa plays a victim, claiming all the bad press she got for coming off as elitist was in direct response to how Heather portrayed her on the show. I feel like Lisa is trying to walk a line of owning her bossiness, but still wanting to throw Heather under the bus for people hating her for being a boss. I truly don’t understand where Lisa is coming from on this one, and it’s not a good look.
Mary then brings up that she NEVER talks down to people or makes them feel less than, and Lisa tells her that she most certainly does do that to all the members of her church. Dramatic music plays, as Mary blinks and twitches Bewitched-style, and says that Lisa better not bring up Mary’s church, or Mary will bring up Vida Tequila.
in the midst of all of this nonsense, Whitney tries to have an epic moment in which she reveals she has TEXTS from Lisa regarding the bartenders she had claimed made a mess of her party at the beginning of the season, but when Andy goes to read them, he says, “This is a bad Xerox, babe.” (”Jen, you know I’m a straight shooter.. wait. Can I start over?”) Before we’re shown the scenes from next week’s episode, everyone basically starts talking over each other, and Lisa says something about Taco Bell.
My final thoughts: I’m wondering what it is Jen has to offer that is so appealing to Meredith and Jen that they’re giving her so much grace. Beyond the fact that neither of them seem to vibe with her at all, the sudden change of heart Lisa had in the finale was VERY fishy to me. Meredith didn’t seem to have much to say in the way of Jen, but I assume that bridge will be crossed in the parts of the reunion to come. I was also a little shocked to learn that the bartenders Lisa hired really were a gift, and they really had nothing to do with Vida Tequila. Maybe there is something to what Lisa is saying about Heather and Whitney portraying her as more of a monster than she really is. Did she get a bad edit? Also, though it may be a long shot, I would love to learn that Whitney is actually an evil genius playing dumb. There are hints of it I’ve seen so far. She DID organize the whole trip to Vegas, and she DID start the ball rolling on Sharrieff’s birthday-gate. One thing is for sure, after the reunion thus far, I’d say these women all came to PLAY, and I’m living for Salt Lake.Â
#RealHousewives#Housewives#Reality#RealityTV#Bravo#Television#RealityTelevision#TV#AndyCohen#LisaBarlow#JenShah#HeatherGay#MaryCosby#WhitneyRose#MeredithMarks#BrooksMarks#Reunion#RealHousewivesOfSaltLakeCity#RHOSLC#SaltLakeCity#SaltLake#Utah#Mormon#RealHousewivesOfSLC#SLC
0 notes