#confident through a song that means so much to me is kind of powerful to me. i had a lot of fun making this drawing.
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cathalbravecog · 1 year ago
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i'm the antonymph of the internet
#how many tributes to this song will i make in my life#MANY ! it literally changed my life and means a lot to me. i love antonymph and vylet pony's music is worth checking out - please do.#unsupervised internet access as a queer neurodivergent kid anthem !!#i chose to do misty since we all know i like drawing her in experimental pieces and putting her in outfits. she also has art in a gir hoodi#from the clash team in treasure trove!! :D#this is also experimental/stylistic as well!! had fun!! nice to just draw something in one day and not worry. leaves me tired but...#haven't done a nice piece like so in one day in a while!!! i'm very proud :] it's a fun one#anyways... both a little tribute to the song and misty as a character#ihave so many thoughts about misty even if i dont talk publicly on them. shes a very interesting character to me and i care about her so#much. i compared her to fluttershy in the past - and realized that if i liked ttcc as a kid she would've been my favorite.#fluttershy on her own meant a lot to me as a child. including mlp itself as it's one of the core things that got me into drawing art online#a lot of my analysis on misty and headcanons at least on the more emotional scale do come from a bit of projecting but...it makes it more#fun to me when i can put myself into the shoes of a character like her who i already relate to. rrghh too bad im scared to talk about her#too much in nuanced detail in public since some people are... not so nice about her. though i know the tumblr audience is nice and unders#standing!!#anyways from me just having fun being me#i let misty have a little bit of fun... something i think she would possibly enjoy? i do see her as someone who gets nostalgic#and is stuck in more childish things and matters. she wants to play ip dip with you...its very sweet to me. letting myself and her be#confident through a song that means so much to me is kind of powerful to me. i had a lot of fun making this drawing.#anyways. love this song. love ttcc. love mity /p. be swag and be self indulgent and have fun. you can do anything u want forevah#toontown#toontown corporate clash#antonymph#guz art#rainmaker
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hannibals-favourite-meal · 1 year ago
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Going Stupid
Peter Parker x plus size reader
Peter’s roommate is driving him up the wall
Warnings: reader is kind of a bimbo and kind of based on Elle Woods, implied smut, Peter kind of hates her but not really, swearing
WC: 676
Minors DNI
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3000 Follower Celebration
Peter groaned as he entered the small two bedroom apartment he was currently renting. The walls were vibrating with the force behind your Bluetooth speaker as you listened to your current hyper-fixation song. It was never his choice in the first place to have you, the bubbly underclassman studying fashion, as his roommate but when rent was jacked up, he was forced to take in the first willing person he could find.
And now he was stuck with you. You were ditsy and unorganised, he couldn’t hold an intelligent conversation with you unless it was the history of polka dots and worst of all you were drop-dead gorgeous. 
It was more often than he cared to admit that he would storm off to take an extra long shower to relieve himself after coming home to you wearing practically nothing as you waltzed about the apartment. He constantly chastised himself for it. He should be attracted to women like MJ, smart, intelligent women who he could actually engage with. But no, he was stupidly falling for you.
And he just couldn’t handle that today, not after a long day in the lab followed by hours of boring lectures. You were dancing around the kitchen, donned only in panties and a tight pink tank top. There was a smear of flour across your full cheek and your lips stained with chocolate frosting. Peter’s brown eyes dropped to your tits which were moving freely, unencumbered by a bra. There was a dollop of the sugary icing on the smooth expanse of your skin. Oh how he wished to lick it off of you.
“Petey! You’re home!” He cringed at the sound of your voice, replying with a half-hearted, “Yeah I am”, as he dropped his backpack on the small bench by the door. He kicked off his shoes, wincing as his sore heels came into contact with the cold flooring.
“You know Peter, you should get some inserts for your shoes. I noticed you had high arches like months ago and I was like that’s so cool cause I have high arches too and I never meet anyone with high arches. I get my shoes custom ordered for my feet cause they hurt a lot if I walk too much and I mean a lot! Like that time I was at that club with-“ Your voice became a blur of white noise as Peter was hypnotised by the way your plump body moved gracefully through the small kitchen. 
The tank top clung to you like a second skin, accentuating each and every dip of your curves. His brown eyes, slowly growing darker with lust, now dropping down even further to where your shirt ended, leaving a strip of your belly exposed above your white panties. The cotton cupped your mound so snuggly that he could see the texture of the dark thatch of hair resting on the base of your pelvis through the fabric. The cellulite on your legs were like the perfect dents for his fingertips to rest and Peter couldn’t imagine how safe and warm your thighs would be around his hips. 
“Can you put on some clothes? I can’t concentrate.” Your mouth snapped shut with an audible click and he could practically feel the way your skin blazed with embarrassment. He watched you glance down at your outfit, suddenly becoming self-conscious.
Peter clicked his tongue and with a surge of confidence he didn’t know he had, he strode across the apartment and grabbed you by your wide hips. “I can practically hear your thoughts from here. You’re too damn sexy, it makes me go stupid.”
“You’re not stupid Petey.” You mumbled while doing everything in your power not to make eye-contact. He tutted and gently cupped your chin with his left hand, guiding your face towards him.
“I like it though, princess. It makes me mad sometimes though.”
“Why?” You nuzzled into his hand. Peter smirked and his grip tightened, making you gasp.
“Cause if I go too dumb, who’s going to fuck you even stupider.”
Request: oooooh how about Peter Parker, maybe a roommate au/ best friend? and the prompt going like “Can you put on some clothes? I can’t concentrate.” “I can practically hear your thought from here.” and something ike that? I leave it upto u, but a hate/mean thingy I feel like would rly add to it (as typically Peter would *never*) also fro which Peter- its rly ur choice, but Andrew and tom are my fav (sorry toby baby) ofc its just a request but I hope u do something! I love ur work congrats on 3k! <3 @my-fabulousness-has-arrived
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bunni-v1 · 1 year ago
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Hi! For the 500 follower special, can I get L,O,Q and X from the sfw alphabet, for deuce, Lilia and malleus? Thank you <3
🍓I'm powering through the sfw requests, then I'll get nsfw, and then full lists in the same order. I'm so glad so many people requested, I just hope I don't let anyone down with my responses :/
I DROP MALLEUS LORE SPOILERS IN MALLEUS' OPEN PROMPT!!! (NOTHING BIG, BUT ITS MALLEUS LORE)
Deuce
L - Little Ones (how are they around children?): Oh, Deuce LOVES kids. He just thinks they're so cute and sweet and -- ugh, he wishes he had siblings to spoil. Equally, though, he's very nervous around them when he first meets a kid. I mean, they're so little? How are the so tiny and helpless? He just wants to smother them with affection, but he can't cause they might die if he does that.
O - Open (when would they start revealing things about themselves?): Deuce is a pretty open book from the start. He doesn't really have a reason to hide, and if you're his partner, why would he want to hide anything? So, you probably know most things about him before you even start dating, and then he tells you the more embarrassing things later down the line as you get more serious about each other.
Q - Quizzes (how much would they remember about you?): Listen, he's not good with the little things like favorite colors or what your favorite song is. But if you tell him what your favorite flower is, your favorite restaurant? He never forgets it. It goes in the long-term Deuce memory bank, forever categorized as incredibly important, but he has no idea why until he needs the information.
X - Xtra: Deuce is, surprisingly, very good with hair. He used to have to help his mom style hers, so he knows a ton of really cool tricks for styling it. Female, male, non-binary -- doesn't matter, he knows how to style your hair and it's going to feel like a GODSEND to your scalp.
Lilia
L - Little Ones: Lilia's favorite hobby is being a father of three, so it's safe to assume he loves kids. Just everything about them is so darn cute -- their stubby little arms and disproportionate bodies. Oh! He can't get enough. If he could raise a hundred more kids, he absolutely would love to!
O - Open: Lilia, unlike Deuce, is not open at all! He puts on this bright and cheery face so he can hide from his dark and fucked up past. You are the light of his life, his guiding start in the night sky -- he doesn't want you to know how much of a monster he is. It's not until you are WELL SETTLED in your relationship that he tells you about his painful past, the things he's done, and how badly he wishes he could take it all back.
Q - Quizzes: Oh, Lilia knows everything. His memory just seems endless, and no matter if you told him something today or years ago, he would remember it clear as day. Every little detail from the very basics to the intricate ways you go about doing different things, he knows and adores all of them.
X - Xtra: Lilia is very good at gambling -- just hear me out. He's incredibly observant and reads people better than they do themselves. Not only that, he's smart. He can sit down at any gambling game, any kind, even if he's a beginner, and walk away with as much money as he wants. He is a casinos worst nightmare.
Malleus
L - Little Ones: Children make Malleus... nervous. They're very little, and they seem very unaware of things around them, yet they have the confidence and demand of a well-established ruler. It's discomforting. Still, he did help raise (technically) two younger boys, so he does harbor some affection for children, he just has to get used to them for him to really enjoy them.
O - Open: It's not to say that Malleus is NOT open, it's just that he doesn't think to share things about himself. So he seems closed off, but really he's just thinking about gargoyles. He does this... thing, though, where he just... lore drops on you. Out of nowhere, he just "My mother died before I was born, and the love that Lilia gave me was enough to cause me to hatch, therefore, he is the closest thing to a father figure I will ever have." Kay... cool Malleus.
Q - Quizzes: He is so bad at keeping track of time, he will not remember 90% of the things about you. He will, however, remember the most random things. Like he doesn't remember what year you were born, but he knows your favorite character and all their lore. It's because he only cares about the things you care about a lot. If you talk about something frequently, he's going to go out of his way to learn more about it because it matters to you <3
X - Xtra: Malleus has an EXTENSIVE collection of Magic The Gathering Cards (or the test equivalent). He doesn't play the game, he has no idea how it works, but he really likes the collecting part of the whole thing. The art on the cards is pretty, and that was enough to fuel a whole collection.
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blackenedsnow · 7 days ago
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IT'S ME AGAIN. DON'T ASK. Please don't question why I'm here, I only have drama in mind, but I have a desire for action.
Singer!reader with Bodyguard!sss(silver, sonic, shadow) team, Reader, a popular singer, was constantly giving concerts and releasing a new album every year and continuing to be popular, but she had a problem singing and performing constantly and after the concert, her voice was constantly muffled/hoarse this always got worried the bodyguards. Reader also delayed them just saying "don't be that worried about it omg..!" like shes mean girl type, Of course, the triple guards know that and they know her well, so they can't/didn't say much. In fact singing was a strength of hers, the songs she sang hooked/obsessed the people and helped them to love her even more. That's the good thing of her power. The bad thing is, if she sings a violent and scary melody or song, it becomes reality, but she didn't know it..yet.
Suddenly she got shot a few bullets in her chest while singing one of those kind of songs, but she kept singing to hide her pain, then a few minutes later of disaster and massive pain she fell to the ground and fans started or tried to help her but the other mean guards didn't let them as the fans began to curse the mean guards as a massive fight begin around them as the main triple guards came to the concert and tried to help her but she was already dying...the triple guards tried to save her as they failed and she died at the concert.
A star who is popular again after 10 years attracts the attention of 3 guards or not anymore guards they were normal hero hedgehogs again. Silver was the first to notice it, then shadow and sonic noticed too but had she changed much? İ MEAN MUCH. She has red hair, red sun-like pupils and a black tight jumpsuit. She also has a beauty mark below her right eye. After 3 hedgehogs tried and managed to get her attention at the concert, she suddenly stopped the concert and wanted to meet privately with 3 hedgehogs.
After entering her own private room she sneeringly smiled and looked at them as they really thought she was a dead popstar but she was faking her dead the whole time trying to recreate her singing power as she began to explain more and answered their question.
I leave you the back questions and the made-up story, You can say anything you want about why she's been acting dead so far..
take care of yourself! ⭐
voice of power
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WARNING: Mentions of violence and injury, faked death
PAIRING: Sonic the Hedgehog x (Fem) Singer! Reader, Shadow the Hedgehog x (Fem) Singer! Reader, Silver the Hedgehog x (Fem) Singer! Reader,
NOTE: Hey there! I’m always excited to hear your ideas and write what inspires you! I’m here for it all. :)
SUMMARY: You’re a powerful, world-famous singer with a voice that captivates and obsesses the masses, backed by an elite team of bodyguards: Sonic, Shadow, and Silver. But behind the glamour and success, there’s a price to pay.
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The lights dimmed as you took center stage, basking in the deafening roar of the crowd. Their cheers, a familiar symphony of adoration, pumped through your veins like electricity. You flashed a confident smile as you gripped the microphone, your voice effortlessly weaving through the melody. Song after song, you captivated them, holding their hearts in the palm of your hand.
You were a sensation—a force of nature in the music world. No matter how many concerts you performed or albums you released, your popularity never waned. But tonight, like every other performance, the price for your talent was clear by the end.
As the final note echoed through the stadium, your voice, once powerful and sharp, had turned raspy and hoarse. You barely managed a breathy "thank you" before retreating backstage, leaving the crowd chanting your name in blissful ignorance of the strain you were under.
But your bodyguards? They knew.
Sonic was the first to greet you behind the curtain, his usual energetic smile slightly faltering when he saw the exhaustion on your face. “Another great show, huh?”
“Yeah, yeah,” you waved him off, your tone sharp but dismissive. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
Silver and Shadow joined moments later, their expressions a little less carefree. Silver, always the worrier, frowned. “Are you sure you’re okay? Your voice—”
“It’s fine!” you snapped, rolling your eyes. “God, you guys worry too much. It’s just hoarse. Don’t be so dramatic.”
Shadow, standing a bit farther back, crossed his arms, his red eyes studying you in silence. He, more than the others, had learned not to push you when you were like this. It was your way of coping after all.
Sonic glanced at Shadow, but he didn’t argue. He knew better, too. You were their responsibility, yes, but they’d learned over time how to navigate your prickly exterior. Still, the hoarseness in your voice was becoming too common to ignore, and they all knew it.
“You’ve been doing this a lot lately,” Silver muttered, glancing at the others for support. “We’re just… worried.”
You sighed dramatically, grabbing a bottle of water and taking a long sip. “Well, stop worrying. I’m fine. You guys need to chill.”
There it was—that edge in your voice, the cool dismissal. You weren’t cruel, not really, but you had a way of pushing them back whenever they got too close. You’d built walls to keep them from prying into things you didn’t want to talk about—like how drained you felt after every concert, or how your throat burned after singing. They weren’t allowed to worry about you, not if you had any say in it.
But deep down, they couldn’t help it. Because they knew you—better than anyone else.
Still, they held back, even as concern tugged at them. This was your routine. After every show, your voice would be rough, and after every show, you’d tell them not to worry. But as your bodyguards, they couldn’t just ignore it.
Sonic, Silver, and Shadow exchanged glances, silently agreeing to let it go for now. You were strong, and they respected that, but they’d seen enough to know when something wasn’t right.
“You’ve got more performances coming up,” Sonic said after a moment, rubbing the back of his head. “Just… don’t overdo it, alright?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m not some fragile little flower, you know,” you replied, shrugging him off as you slung your bag over your shoulder. “I’ve got this under control.”
But they couldn’t shake the feeling that something was building, something you didn’t even realize. After all, they knew you weren’t just any singer. There was something different about you—something powerful about your voice that went beyond just captivating an audience.
And they feared that you might be playing with something you didn’t fully understand.
A few nights later, this specific night seemed perfect—just like every other concert. You were on stage, the crowd hanging on your every word, every note, just like always. The lights were bright, the music loud, and your voice—though a little strained—still commanded the room. But something felt different tonight.
The song you were performing wasn’t like your usual set. This one had a darker edge, a haunting melody that throbbed through the venue like a heartbeat. Your fans didn’t seem to mind, though. They were just as entranced as always, singing along, their faces lit with adoration.
But then, something snapped.
The first shot hit your chest before you even realized what was happening.
Pain. Sharp and all-consuming. It ripped through you, but you didn’t stop singing. You couldn’t. Your voice was your armor, your strength, and no matter what was happening, you couldn’t let the audience see you in pain. So you kept singing, your voice now layered with a hidden agony that none of them could sense—yet.
Another bullet. And another.
Your breath hitched, but the notes kept coming, your body trembling with the effort. The stage lights blurred in your vision, the sound of your voice fading under the roaring in your ears. You couldn’t stop. Not now. Not when all eyes were on you.
But the pain was unbearable.
It felt like your chest was on fire, the bullets lodged deep, your body betraying you. You clutched the microphone tighter, leaning into it for support as your legs began to give out. You didn’t care if it hurt. You didn’t care if—
Your knees buckled. The microphone slipped from your hand, and in a heartbeat, you hit the ground.
The crowd screamed.
Chaos erupted as the fans surged forward, trying to help you, but the security guards—a rougher, meaner bunch hired for the event—blocked their way, shoving people back. “Stay back!” they barked, their voices cold and unfeeling, as if they didn’t care that you were lying there, bleeding out in front of thousands of people.
The fans shouted, some of them screaming your name, others cursing the guards. Fists flew, and soon a full-blown riot broke out. The guards pushed back harder, forming a barrier around you as the concert dissolved into madness.
But you could barely see it anymore.
The pain was overwhelming, blurring the edges of your vision as blood pooled beneath you. The world spun, and your breath came in shallow gasps. The sounds around you—shouts, screams, the clashing of bodies—faded into the background.
Suddenly, through the haze, you saw them. Sonic, Shadow, and Silver were pushing through the chaos, their eyes locked on you. They moved fast, faster than you’d ever seen them, but it didn’t matter. You knew it was too late.
By the time they reached you, your chest was heaving, every breath a struggle. Sonic dropped to his knees beside you, his usual smile nowhere to be found. “Hey… hey, we’re here. You’re gonna be okay,” he said, though his voice wavered.
Shadow was already checking your wounds, his expression grim, while Silver hovered nearby, panic clear in his wide eyes.
But you knew. You could feel the life draining out of you, the strength that had always been there slipping through your fingers. You tried to speak, tried to tell them something—anything—but your voice was gone, replaced by a weak gurgle.
It was too late.
The world was already fading, the pain dulling as your body went cold. You could feel yourself slipping away, the noise of the concert—of the chaos—growing distant.
And then… just like that, you were gone.
Ten years had passed since the tragic night when your life was cut short on stage. The music world had mourned, and your three former bodyguards—Sonic, Shadow, and Silver—had each gone back to their roles as heroes. They tried to move on, but losing you had left a mark on each of them, a wound that never fully healed.
That was why, when Silver saw you again, standing under the bright lights of a new concert stage, his heart nearly stopped.
It wasn’t just the resemblance—it was you. He knew it, deep in his gut, despite the changes. You were different, transformed, but still undeniably you.
“Is that—” Silver muttered, wide-eyed, as he stared at the screen showing the concert.
Shadow, sitting nearby, followed Silver’s gaze. His eyes narrowed as he focused on the screen, a flicker of recognition flashing in his sharp red eyes. “It can’t be…”
But it was. Sonic, who had just walked into the room, caught sight of the broadcast and froze. “No way…” His usual carefree tone was gone, replaced by shock.
The three of them stared at the screen, watching in stunned silence as you moved across the stage, your presence commanding as always, but now with an even more magnetic pull. You hadn’t just changed physically—you were more powerful, more captivating than ever.
“I thought she was dead,” Sonic whispered, his voice barely audible.
Silver was the first to move, grabbing his jacket and heading for the door. “We need to get to that concert.”
Shadow and Sonic exchanged a glance before following. They didn’t know how it was possible, but if you were back, they needed answers. And more than anything, they needed to see you again.
At the concert venue, the crowd was mesmerized by your performance. Every note you sang seemed to wrap around their minds, drawing them in deeper with every passing second. But your attention wasn’t on the audience—it was on the three familiar faces you’d spotted in the crowd.
Silver. Shadow. Sonic.
It had been years since you’d seen them, but the moment their eyes met yours, you knew it was time. You couldn’t continue the charade any longer.
Without warning, you stopped mid-song. The band fell silent, and the audience, confused and murmuring, watched as you raised a hand to signal the end of the concert.
“I want to meet three people,” you announced, your voice echoing through the venue. “Backstage. Now.”
The crowd erupted in whispers, confused but curious. The three hedgehogs were just as surprised, but they didn’t hesitate. Guided by a mix of disbelief and anticipation, they made their way backstage.
Once inside the privacy of your room, the atmosphere grew heavier. You leaned against the back of a lavish chair, your sun-like eyes gleaming with amusement as you looked over the three hedgehogs before you. For years, they had believed you were dead. The memory of that night, the blood, the chaos—it had been seared into their minds. And now here you stood, alive, and more powerful than ever.
A sneering smile curled at your lips as you crossed your arms, eyes flicking between them. “You really thought I was dead, huh?” You chuckled darkly. “You have no idea.”
Sonic’s fists clenched at his sides, confusion and shock flashing in his emerald eyes. “You died. We saw it happen. How… how are you standing here like nothing happened?”
Silver was quieter, still processing, while Shadow’s sharp gaze hadn’t left your face, his body rigid with tension as he waited for an explanation.
You straightened up, pushing off the chair and taking a slow step forward, your voice turning cold and calculated. “It was all a lie. Every single bit of it. I faked my death that night on stage.”
The silence that followed was suffocating. None of them spoke for a long moment, the weight of your words hanging in the air.
“Why?” Shadow asked, his voice low, almost growling. His red eyes were locked onto yours, demanding an answer.
You smiled again, this time more bitter than amused. “Because I had to. That night, when those bullets hit me, I realized something. My voice… it wasn’t just a talent. It was a weapon. A power. And I didn’t understand how to control it.” You took a deep breath, letting the gravity of your words sink in. “Every song I sang, every note I hit, could change the world around me. If I sang a sad song, the people listening would become depressed. If I sang something violent…”
Sonic flinched at the memory, recalling how the audience had descended into chaos after you were shot.
“I could have caused a disaster,” you continued, pacing slowly as you spoke. “That’s what was happening the night I ‘died.’ The bullets, the riot—it wasn’t just bad luck. It was me. My voice made it happen. I sang a violent song, and it became reality.”
Silver’s eyes widened, piecing things together. “So… you faked your death to stop it? To stop hurting people?”
You nodded. “Yes. After that night, I knew I wasn’t safe to be around anyone. My powers were too unstable, too dangerous. I couldn’t risk more people getting hurt. So I disappeared. For ten years, I’ve been hiding, working on controlling my abilities, on recreating them in a way that I can harness them—without all the chaos.”
Sonic’s face was twisted with a mix of emotions, hurt and anger mixing together. “Why didn’t you tell us? We could’ve helped you. We thought you were gone forever!”
You looked away for a moment, guilt flickering across your features before hardening again. “Because I didn’t need your help. I needed time. Alone. You wouldn’t have understood what I was trying to do. I had to figure it out on my own.”
Shadow, silent until now, stepped forward, his voice steely. “And now? What’s changed? You’ve revealed yourself again. Why?”
Your lips curled into a dark smile once more, your red eyes glowing as you met his gaze. “Because I’ve perfected it. I’ve mastered my voice. I’ve become more powerful than ever before. And now… it’s time for me to reclaim the world I left behind. I’m not the same popstar you used to protect. I’m something more.”
Silver frowned, his voice quiet but filled with concern. “But what about the danger? What if it happens again?”
You tilted your head slightly, your smile fading as you looked at him. “That’s the thing, Silver. It won’t happen again. Because now, I’m in control. I can decide who lives, who loves, who fights… and who dies.”
The room fell silent again, the weight of your words sinking in. You were no longer the person they once knew. You were something far more dangerous—and far more powerful.
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iamwinklebottom · 1 month ago
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THEME: “Random Ass Messages?”
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Choices:
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1. If this resonates with you, consider getting a personal reading here @ https://www.iamwinklebottom.com/shop/advice-psychic-mediumship-divination/32
• I keep hearing “Can’t Get You Out Of My Head” by Kylie Minogue: https://youtu.be/c18441Eh_WE?si=vfUS2-a-jjamnS81
In the past, you used to fall in love with unworthy people and easily become obsessed a lot. You healed from this and realized that you went through these karmic cycles so many times, so your heart won’t get stolen by unworthy beings anymore.
You are very high vibrational. Please be careful. Check your astrology chart and become familiar with it.
You may not realize it, but people become obsessed with you easily. If you’re in danger, please reach out to me if you want my professional help and services: https://www.iamwinklebottom.com/shop/conjure-services/30
Dealing with stalkers can be very weird and uncomfortable, but please understand what the situation tells you and is teaching you about the “human condition” and your future.
Low vibrational obsession is not attractive or cute, but many people don’t understand that. Protect yourself. Some stalkers genuinely do attack and even hate the people they’re obsessed with and cannot possess.
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2. If this resonates with you, consider getting a personal reading here @ https://www.iamwinklebottom.com/shop/advice-psychic-mediumship-divination/32
• I’m hearing a song I wrote. It’s personal and not public yet, but it’s about seeing a divine lover in a dream.
You need to start preparing yourself for love. I offer Divine Romantic Union Preperation services and Divine Love services: https://www.iamwinklebottom.com/s/search?q=Divine%20
These magical services also help with being able to only accept high quality love and give high vibrational love to high vibrational beings who actually deserve it.
Some self love work will benefit you too + Beauty Conjure & Confidence Charisma Conjure: https://www.iamwinklebottom.com/shop/conjure-services/30
You really feel like you’ll be alone for the rest of your life. You’ve grown comfortable with that because of your past, but please understand that you specifically are meant to love and be loved genuinely. Great luck and much love to you.
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3. If this resonates with you, consider getting a personal reading here @ https://www.iamwinklebottom.com/shop/advice-psychic-mediumship-divination/32
• I’m hearing “Hey Joe” by Jimi Hendrix: https://youtu.be/biguQQBpHjY?si=fv1DGjjjUgf7fs1E
At first I felt feelings of nervousness. Like “oh god.”
I heard “hey Joe, where you goin wit that gun in yo hand… I’m going to shoot my old lady; I caught her messin round with another man,” but that was just my human self perceiving only the meaning of the song.
You’re safe. Don’t worry. I’m not channeling MUCH about violence.
The thing is, this message is about Jimi Hendrix himself. He was perceived as ONLY a talented, confident, and charismatic sex symbol. Yes, he had those traits, but he was honestly very shy and kind (he did become violent when his mental health started to decline, so continue to prioritize emotional stability please: https://www.iamwinklebottom.com/product/-emotional-stability-conjure-service/260?cp=true&sa=false&sbp=false&q=true).
People will perceive your power and want you far away from them, but so close at the same time. You are a spectacle: a rare breed of being that people want to degrade and abuse, view up close with a glass between contact, or drag you into their personal space to hold forever. Be aware of this.
You must understand the vortex swirling around you and your existence. You are an odd starlight. It can be beautiful and healing, don’t let it become dangerous and unhealthy FOR YOU…
Prioritize evolution and development to assist you in this lifetime and the lifetimes after. Proper social navigation is necessary as well: https://www.iamwinklebottom.com/product/-social-navigation-conjure-service/295?cp=true&sa=false&sbp=false&q=true
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wordbunch · 1 year ago
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Their love song (Taylor Swift edition) > The Rings of Power characters
a/n: welcome to my little self-indulgent celebration of 700 followers! 🥳 EVEN IF you're not a fan/don't know the songs, I hope you can still like and support this fic - a lot of time and love went into it! and by all means come talk to me about it or suggest your own songs! love you all so much and thank you for reading my stories and being a wonderful community 💕
HALBRAND ♡ cruel summer
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Please look at these lyrics and tell me it isn't just perfect for him!! You never really planned on falling for him, ever, but alas, something captivated you - his eyes looking down on you from a height difference, the way he seemed to understand you more than anyone else in certain moments, and how he was adamant to be around you. He was very cocky and confident when you admitted it at last.
ARONDIR ♡ peace
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Maybe you come from different backgrounds, but there is nothing that you wouldn't do for each other. He is very protective of you, but he is also cautious because he never wants you to be in danger because of him. Although your relationship can be judged negatively, the only important thing is what the two of you feel for one another - true love.
ELENDIL ♡ labyrinth
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Things haven't exactly been easy after his wife suddenly died, and he had mixed feelings about moving on; somehow, with you it was kind of effortless and unexpectedly natural. He struggled with it within himself for some time, but you were understanding and supportive the whole time, and he began feeling much better when he accepted his developing feelings for you.
CELEBRIMBOR ♡ lover
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Honestly, he kind of is a magnetic force, and he would also be a total romantic to his partner and spoil them in so many ways. Admittedly, he's lived through a lot of things and challenges, but ending up with you seemed like a reward at the end of everything, and he never wants to let you go.
GALADRIEL ♡ daylight
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She certainly has her struggles and her mind can be a very occupied place, so she really didn't expect to find captivating romantic love among all the mess. You bring brightness and warmth to her life like nobody else, and she lights up when she is around you, especially when the two of you are alone.
ISILDUR ♡ blank space
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He is still quite young and impulsive, and everything else that comes with it, and also naturally curious and a bit of a troublemaker - never a dull moment. When you two first met, you didn't think it would go anywhere, but quickly you fell for his reckless charm, and decided to give it a go anyways. It's a passionate and unpredictable relationship which can end at any time, but he is so wrapped around your finger that you highly doubt it.
VALANDIL ♡ sparks fly
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He is also crazy, young and exciting, but something won't let you let him go. He is aware of his strengths and he knows how to play them exactly right to keep you on your toes and crazy about him. Maybe it isn't the most stable of relationships, but hey, as long as you're having a good time!
GIL-GALAD ♡ gorgeous
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He is so royal and classy and naturally, captivated your attention within mere seconds in his presence. At first you might have been a little intimidated (who wouldn't be?) and you had mixed feelings within yourself - he surely already had someone, so you decided it would be best to wait for him to approach you. Years and years later, you both like to jokingly reminisce on those moments.
BRONWYN ♡ new year's day
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Life can be tough, and people can be difficult to deal with, but the two of you have each other's back through it all. While you have your arguments and disagreements occasionally, and maybe someone judges your relationship, at the end of the day there is nobody else that the two of you would rather share your troubles with.
ELROND ♡ you are in love
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This sweet soul had to get this song assigned to him! Your love bloomed steadily over centuries of close friendship and understanding, you shared a quiet, unspoken bond, and it was just the most natural thing ever. It eventually became difficult to pinpoint when exactly it turned into something more than platonic, because for so long it had been the two of you together, side by side.
✨ taglist my beloved ✨ @lotrnonsense​​​​​​ @starlady66​​​​​​ @queenmeriadoc​​ @entishramblings @thesolarangel @silversword7000 @friendofthefellowshipsnerdblog @averys-place @valkyriepirate @emmaarenstarr @noldorinpainter @asianbutnotjapanese @adamgetawaydriver @fenharel-enaste @ironmandeficiency    @starryeyedrogue​​ @dinofromspac3 ​​  @wisheduponastar @lady-of-imladris @frodo-cinnamonroll @unethicallypleistocene @deadlymistletoe @suncran @high-sea-husbands @asianbutnoteastasian @aidansloth @sweetpea-thoughts
I TAGGED EVERYONE CAUSE IT'S A FOLLOWER SPECIAL OK <3
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ryuyejiho · 1 year ago
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"I never get enough, doll" - Hyunjin
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Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader
Genre: Smut
Warnings: 18+, Smut, Fingering, Orgasm control, Sex with stepbrother
Summary: Your stepbrother's daily dance rehearsals are finally starting to become unbearable. However, he instead of caring about your arguments, gives you a demonstration of his hot dance and teaches you the choreography.
Word Count: ~3k
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Once again I stood in front of the door to Hyunjin's room and pounded on it with all my strength with my fist. Finally when the music quieted down I wanted to leave but then the door opened
"can you get the fuck away from me?" I heard a voice behind me at which I turned around
"it's you at 1 am at night playing music so loud. Don't you have headphones or do you just want to piss me off" I replied equally upset
"You know very well that this is my job and I have to practice choreography and the fact that you moved here is not my fault. Just because you live here with your retarded father doesn't mean you can rule what I can and can't do" he raised his voice at me at which I laughed rudely
"It's not my fault I live here either because, believe it or not, I don't want to be here either. And you can postpone your bouncing and waving your arms to tomorrow and not stomp around at night" I rolled my eyes, turned around and entered my room closing the door with a big bang.
I had been hearing the same songs day after day for a month. Although I liked some of them at first but hearing them non-stop made me sick of them. I already knew all the lyrics to each of them, just as I began to distinguish the voices of the guys singing and rapping there even though I didn't know who they were.
Day or night, it didn't matter to him at all. Nonstop, the sounds of various songs were pouring out of his room. Sometimes even my own headphones didn't help and let the ambient sounds through, drowning out what I was listening to. The worst was going to bed when I must always have silence and quiet around me.
Same now, lying down under the covers just waiting for the music to start playing again and it did. Despite the fact that it was much quieter than before, I angrily got up from the bed again and started banging on the door of his room again. This time when he opened it there was a cocky smile on his face that was as annoying as it was hot.
This time he wasn't wearing a T-shirt, he was standing in front of me in just shorts from which you could perfectly see the outline of his muscles on his thighs.
"Okay, now I've done it on purpose for you to come" he said and pulled me deeper into the room.
"why did you want me to come? Did you want to hear me yell at you again?"
"No. I wanted you to watch. Since for you it's usually bouncing and waving your arms, I wanted to show you what real dancing looks like." he walked over to the phone that was lying on the dresser right next to the speaker and played a song I'd heard a million times before.
He stood in front of me and as the slow rhythm of the song came out of the speaker, he started swaying from side to side. I rolled my eyes and sat down more comfortably on his bed, which was twice the size of mine. Hearing the first words of the song sounding 'fake eyes open' I rolled my eyes again, thinking to myself how fitting it was for me in my current situation when I didn't want to watch the show.
But then when he began to move rapidly and confidently he made me slightly curious. His movements were sensual and powerful at the same time and his gaze was still on me.
His eyes suddenly turned from kind and friendly to slightly squinted and fearful. With every more violent movement, his eyebrows drew together.
After a while when he knelt close to me with his hands close to his face I momentarily became hot. I sat up straight feeling the familiar tingling between my legs and the sensation in my lower abdomen. He just smiled and when he stood up his movements became faster and even more powerful than before.
When he began to move his lips to the rhythm of the song's lyrics it occurred to me that this person who was singing in the song was he himself.
Then suddenly he sat down on the floor in front of me and when his hips lifted up and he ran his hand all over his torso, from crotch to throat I thought I was about to cum right here and now. I couldn't stop looking at him and biting and licking my lips.
I knew that he was awesomely handsome but not that sexy. I knew he knew how to dance but not that kind of dance.
All the time he was looking at me with such awesome sexy and scary eyes that I felt how wet I got. My gaze flew between his hand, hip movements, his face and his eyes.
When the song finally slowed down he again began to sway sensually from side to side, he then looked straight into my eyes with a slight smirk and when the room was silent he stood in the final position holding two fingers to his stoic lips.
His face and neck were wet with sweat, his breathing much quickened, and looking at him in such a state I myself began to breathe faster. I was speechless, but not wanting to know anything from me, or at least to create such an appearance, I decided to speak up
"and that was your dance that you practice so daily?" I laughed and sat more comfortably on the bed wanting to be more credible. However, being believable with all my panties wet was quite difficult. Hyunjin just laughed and walked over to the phone turning off the song that came on next.
"Do you think it's that easy?" he asked turning to face me and raising one eyebrow at which I shrugged my shoulders and nodded "then dance it. At least half as good as me."
"as if I only knew the steps..." again I shrugged my shoulders at which he came up to me, far too close for my current situation, and grabbing my hand he pulled me up.
"I'll teach you, not problem" he smiled and still holding my hand, began to rock his hips. I tried to look in a completely different direction but because of that I didn't even notice when he put his hand on my waist and turned my back to him. Then I saw that between the bed and the door stood a sizable mirror in which we were now reflected.
"it's not that difficult. I'll teach you a chorus and if you want more I'll teach you the whole choreo," he caught my hands in his and still standing behind me, lifted them up and directed how I should move them. At first they were the usual sort of hits in the air but after a while he suddenly turned me the other way so that for a moment I was face to face with him.
Then it only got worse, when he kept standing so close to me and holding my hands raising and lowering them every now and then I felt him rubbing against my butt. I thought it was normal after all, standing so close to each other, but as I felt him closer and closer it couldn't be normal anymore.
I wanted to move away holding on to the remnants of pride and dignity but I couldn't. I felt like I was hypnotized feeling his body so close to mine and how his hands held my wrists tightly.
"Sit down," he said in a low voice making me feel my legs yield.
"I'd love to," I replied quietly, more to myself, and sat down, which he did too but more next to me.
"Now repeat after me," I looked at him and seeing his stomach and thigh muscles tightening as he lifted his hips up made me weak. Then his hand went to his crotch and, as before, he moved it upward. From this position he smoothly moved to his knees and looked at me waiting for me to repeat his steps.
I, however, just sat and looked at him. I wasn't able to move an inch, still looking only at his shirtless torso and barely covered, muscular thighs. His forehead and neck were still wet from the earlier dance, my gaze focused on the drop of sweat that was now flying down his forehead and past his hairline. He, seeing my focus on his face, wiped the droplet away with the top of his hand and tilted his head to the side looking at me.
I looked into his eyes which were then even darker than they had always been, then he licked his lips and when I looked at them I had the urge to throw myself at him and bite into his lips. I involuntarily licked my lips which only occurred to me when he looked at them.
I saw that he was thinking about something and, taking a deep breath, he suddenly stood and approached me on his knees. Within a second he was over me as I lay down and with his lips he attacked mine. He kissed me like there was no tomorrow, very greedily and even insistently. But it was so fucking arousing that I felt like a million butterflies flying in my stomach again.
Feeling his hand on my waist, I put my hands on his broad shoulders and spread my legs more to have him closer. He, taking advantage of my moment of inattention, put his tongue between my lips and began to play with my tongue. Combined with his hips pushing against mine and feeling his hardness on my pubic crease, I began to moan directly into his mouth.
He chuckles between kisses and moved his hand to my breast. He began to massage and knead it every now and then teasing the nipple with his fingers. I was both angry and happy at the same time that I always slept without a bra, I was wearing just a satin T-shirt on the straps but I didn't even know that I would end up in his room, especially I would be lying down under him.
When he moved his kisses to my neck I began to scratch his back, I was impressed by how soft his skin was so I tried not to leave marks and scratches but hearing his barely audible moan when I ran my nails harder than before, I began to drive them hard into his skin and scratch him so as to leave as many marks as possible.
My fingers moved to his head and the long hair with which I began to play and pull. Especially when he sucked and nibbled the skin on my neck and cleavage, going lower and lower to my breasts. On my collarbone he stopped the longest and feeling how hard he bit into my skin I knew I was going to have a hickey there.
When he reached my T-shirt he literally ripped the fabric of it and pulled it off of me to immediately attack my right nipple with his lips which were now even plumper as a result of our hungry kissing.
I was now one big mess, lying there on the cold floor, pulling his hair when his sucking was too intense and all I was able to get out of myself were moans.
"Hyunjin... please," I whined as my clit became painful demanding any attention. He looked at me still holding my nipple in his mouth, to which I moaned again and when I pushed my hips up closer to his he understood what I meant.
Raising himself up to the height of my face with his right hand he ran his hand over my body from top to bottom, then again from bottom to top and stopping at my throat he embraced it with his slender fingers, looking into my eyes with an intense gaze.
Whenever I saw him talking to anyone, he was always smiling and his eyes resembled two moons or two dashes when he smiled. More than once I thought he was cute at the time. But now? His gaze was so intense and frightening that my body was going through chills and I didn't know myself if it was whether from fear or excitement.
I could feel him gripping my throat tighter and tighter and how I no longer had full access to air, but after a while he slid his hand back down. He rode it over my cleavage, my clavicles, between my breasts with his finger hooking over my already sensitive nipple from earlier sucking, my belly to the elastic of my sleep shorts.
He followed his hand with his eyes the whole way, his face serious and his breathing quick and deep. When his slender fingers went under the material of my shorts he noticed that I was not wearing any underwear and looked at me smiling gently. However, it wasn't the same smile I had talked about earlier, oh no.
Moving closer to my left breast, he put his hand deeper into my shorts and, looking at me, licked my nipple. Putting his finger between my libia, he put the nipple between his lips, still looking at me. Holding the nipple in his mouth and teasing it with his tongue, his finger teased my clit and entrance.
Finally, he began sucking on it while simultaneously inserting a single finger into my insides. All this time he never once broke eye contact with me until I threw my head back, hitting the floor with it.
His other hand he placed between my head and the floor and, sucking my nipple harder and harder, his finger moved up and down faster and faster. As I got closer and closer to coming, I moaned louder and louder. I didn't have to worry about anyone hearing me, we were alone in the big house after our parents went on vacation together and left us alone.
When I was already close and could feel the orgasm approaching me with great strides he stopped and pulled his hand from my shorts. He got up and stood up straight extending his hand to help me get up. When I stood next to him, he immediately attacked my mouth and kissing we walked closer to the bed.
Suddenly he moved away from me and pushed me backwards onto the mattress with all his strength. He stood over me and with a further serious look he grabbed my shorts and pulled them down pulling them off me. He threw them somewhere behind him after which he also pulled his own down along with his boxers throwing them in about the same place. He knelt over me and put his whole hand on my pussy, with his other hand propping himself up right next to my head. He began to rub my clit quickly, at which I reflexively began to moan loudly and arch my back.
I looked up at him forcing myself to open my eyes, he was kneeling over me all naked and his hard, straight, long cock was resting against his flat stomach. He raised his hand to my mouth and put his two fingers inside. I started sucking them as best I could which satisfied him because smirk after which he pulled them out of my mouth to immediately put them deep inside my pussy.
He started moving them suddenly and quickly for what I literally saw stars, after a while he stopped and grabbed my thighs to turn me with my back to him.
I arched my ass toward him when he forced me to kneel down, slapping my buttock with his whole hand and, standing with one leg on the bed and one on the floor, directed his cock at my entrance. He rubbed the tip all over my pussy a few times, which was an awesome feeling, and when after a while I heard the condom wrapper being ripped open I couldn't wait to feel him inside me.
Not even half a minute had passed when I felt him at my entrance again, I couldn't stand it and moved my hips back but he moved his own back and slaped my buttock hard again
"Not so fast, pretty doll" he laughed lightly which was even sexy and brought his tip closer to my entrance again. This time he pushed his hips gently forward entering me a few inches. I clenched my eyes and hands tightly on the quilt feeling a pleasantly painful stretch.
Hyunjin stepped out of me only to immediately enter me full length
"ahh f-fuck" I leaned my forehead against the mattress but he grabbed my hair and pulled me upwards. Having him deep inside me felt like he was even longer than how I saw him a moment ago.
He went in and out of me all the length, each time feeling him incredibly deep I arched my back. A few entrances later, he grabbed my hips and putting his foot further down on the bed, brought me even closer to him. He started moving his hips faster, much faster, and although he was now entering me halfway down his length I felt as blissful as ever.
Moment by moment he sped up and thrust harder and harder, moaning louder and louder which was so sexy that I again felt like I was going to come at any moment.
But then he slowed down and, now standing with both feet on the floor, he moved my hips so that now I took control. I tried to do it smoothly, but feeling so much pleasure was difficult. This was clearly not enough for Hyunjin and not long after, he pushed my hips forward so that I was lying on my stomach, spread my legs giving him access to my pussy and lay on my back. He kissed my shoulders while entering me and when he was all in, he raised himself up on his hands and began to move inside me.
Slowly at first but suddenly he quickened his pace and entered me incredibly fast and hard so that my body bounced off the mattress. We were in this position for quite a while, he was moving me all the time at the same pace but which slowly brought me to the edge.
He, probably feeling my pussy starting to tighten up on him, got out of me and rolled over onto my back holding my leg, which after a while he placed on his shoulder as he re-entered me with a loud and long moan.
He leaned over me and began to fuck me even faster and harder than before. I moaned even louder and flexed my body feeling every millimeter of him deep inside me, I held tightly to his shoulders digging my nails into his skin until he straightened up.
He placed my leg on the bed, his hands on my stomach and, pressing my body into the mattress, he renewed his movements. This time feeling my orgasm approaching I literally screamed his name, my whole body shaking and writhing through too much stimulation.
"Fuck Hyunjin, I'm coming," I exclaimed and arched my back as he started rubbing my clit, smirking. As I came, I clamped my legs over his hips and pulled him closer, wanting to feel him as deeply as possible. My pussy clenched so tightly on his cock that after a while I felt his thighs begin to shake, he leaned over me and, holding my hair tightly, came deep inside me.
His moan was much hotter than the earlier ones, much higher having a combination of pleasure and relief. He lay on top of me with all his weight as we breathed quickly, we tried to calm down so for a long while neither of us said anything.
Finally, when he breathed deeply, he get up and climbed out of me, pulled off the condom and threw it in the basket in the nightstand. Again he lay on top of me but this time with half of his body and, putting his face in the hollow of my neck, began to kiss it.
After a longer moment, his hand began to move down my side, hooking my breast, still kissing my neck but getting hungrier and hungrier
"you're so fucking sexy I can't stop myself" he muttered directly into my ear and slid his hand down to my pussy
"haven't you had enough yet?"
"I never get enough, doll".
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exquisiteserotonin · 1 year ago
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Precious Possessions
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Next Chapter
The day is here! The one I hope some of you have been waiting for, the first chapter of my first Dave York fic. I hope you love it as much as I love writing it!
Series Summary: Defense intelligence conferences are always the same informative but also always boring. You didn't expect anything different for this one, but an unexpected meeting with a man named Dave York, changes the trajectory of your conference experience and maybe even more.
Rating/Warnings: This chapter is MA, no smut yet, build up and tension are the name of the game
Word Count: 3.5K
A/N: Also used this song for a little bit of inspiration -
Chapter 1: When He Sees Me
“If you have any more questions or comments, I’ve got my official contact information here,” you spoke clearly as you pointed to the screen behind you, “thank you for your time.”
You shouldn’t have been surprised with the number of attendees at your breakout session. The use of AI in defense intelligence continued to be the hot topic in the intelligence community especially for this year’s conference. You hadn’t spent years of nearly sleepless nights and exhausting mornings with development and research to not be considered one of the foremost experts on the subject.
Professionalism and a line of people eager to speak with you prevented you from leaving when you wanted. You scanned the room full of individuals in stuffy business suits and some in even stuffier medal-decorated uniforms. If you didn’t hold your breath, you’d pass out from the stench of testosterone-fueled arrogance.
“So when I think about AI, the pattern analysis and the information clusters---I kind of get how it makes our jobs easier, in theory,” you heard a voice laden with contemplation but also with condescension say.
You were crouched on the ground packing up your laptop, power cord, and briefcase eager to leave. You stretched your fingers and then closed them into tight fists before opening them again. Tension filled your shoulders, chest, and back as you zipped your briefcase. You took a deep, cooling breath through your nose, holding it in and letting it expand in your lungs until swirling notes of calm slowly began to circulate within you.
“But?” You looked up, slowly releasing the calming air from your lips. When you stood up, you were taken aback by the sight of a roguishly handsome man.
He stood before you, both hands on his hips in a posture that aimed to imbue you with intimidation at his authority. You held his brown-eyed stare with your own, always looking for an excuse to use your well-honed observation skills. He wore a well-fitting, but simultaneously well-used navy blue suit, worn just enough that you assumed he reserved it especially for conferences. You concluded that he be must upper-level management with a defense contractor, but more likely a high-level manager at an intelligence agency.
“I think AI’s shortcoming is its innate lack of understanding of human behavior,” he stated with a shrug. “A lack of human perception means you can’t analyze and decipher intent and it can’t interpret how we make decisions based on feeling, based on interpersonal communication.”
“You assume that this is a problem that’s not being taken into consideration,” the urge to defend your work was palpating in your veins. “More funding and support is needed for human analysts; how else do you think innovation would move forward?”
He took his right hand and rubbed the side of his face, while smoothing the side of his brown hair. His expression was full of collected calm paired with a confidence that you somehow suspected was well-earned. That pissed you off the most. He clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth and lips curled up into a smirk, revealing a dimple on his right cheek on his clean-shaven face.
“Hmm,” he murmured, keeping his eyes on you like it was a challenge he had to win, “your misplaced hostility speaks volumes.”
A tightness grew in your shoulders and rose to your neck from the nerve of his words. You clenched your jaw, your tongue pressing tightly at the roof of your mouth behind your teeth.
“But not quite as loud as your misogyny,” the words left your mouth before you could stop yourself. “Enjoy the rest of the conference.”
You glided away, disallowing him the chance to introduce or explain himself. You shook hands with attendees while giving away dazzling smiles as you made your escape. It was easy to weave through the crowd, as most people found ways to linger and speak to good friends and long-lost acquaintances. That was just how international conferences worked.
Fortune was in your favor as you found solace in an elevator. You backed yourself into one of the corners, continuing to people watch as more conference-attendees entered. You noted a man in his mid-to-late 50s, his graying blonde hair cut close to his head and his blue uniform filled with rows of medals and insignias. He was followed by a couple, who appeared to be trying their hardest to hide their intimacy with each other through closed-off, professional postures. But you knew better. The way they looked at each other screamed at you that they used this annual conference to conduct their long-standing affair.
A groan nearly escaped you, when you saw the same man who approached you after your presentation. His eyes were alight with intense determination and his brows knitted towards each other, creasing the space just above his nose. A tight intensity settled over your chest and neck as you backed yourself further into your corner of the elevator. The unremitting concentration that inhabited his eyes gave you the distinct feeling of being hunted. You tried as fast as you could to avert your eyes away from him. The dimple that revealed itself in the errant grin he gave you when his eyes met yours told you that you failed. 
You made every attempt to affect disinterest, placing hyper focus on your phone, examining the cuticles of every single one of your nails, even staring at the floor. You barely paid attention as the people you shared the elevator with exit at their floor. Not even the surreptitious couple, who you assumed left the elevator at the same time. Inevitably, the handsome and arrogant stranger was the only one who remained.
“I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot,” you heard him say.
“Hm?” You could feel your brow beginning to furrow as your attitude fought against your level-headedness to gain control. “I’m sorry?”
“You called me a misogynist,” Dave reminded you with a smirk, speaking of it as a badge he wore with honor.
“Oh yes, that’s right,” you sighed the sarcasm dripping from every word, “and I’m hostile.”
“No,” the voice he spoke with was calculating and unmoving, “I said you had hostility, and you took it upon yourself to assume that I was a misogynist.”
“Semantics,” you said your voice was quick like it was jumping from a trap.
“I’m not the kind of man stupid enough to belittle someone’s life’s work,” he raised his hands up as if he was conceding to you, “especially when she’s clearly brilliant.”
You narrowed your eyes at him as he spoke those words, trying to decipher if there was some kind of hidden meaning or intent behind them. There was an air about him that commanded your attention. Perhaps it was the dichotomy that he seemed to present the further you observed him. He was competent yet personable, casual yet professional, and guarded but disarming. You worked through these thoughts in your mind as the whirring of the elevator took over as it continued upward.
“Well, at least you’re smart enough to know when you’ve made a mistake,” you said with a nod of your head.
“Are you going to the networking social?”
You weren’t certain if he was simply curious or was inviting you.
“Oh god no,” you were quick to answer with a loud groan, almost too loud, “that’s just not my thing.”
The handsome stranger shrugged, “They’re usually filled with self-righteous assholes, anyway.”
The accuracy and the irony of his statement bubbled up laughter from your belly. A feeling made of confusion, guilt, and absurdity came over you as you felt yourself beginning to let your guard down. He wasn’t supposed to apologize. He wasn’t supposed to be interesting or intriguing. He should have just been a one-dimensional, arrogant asshole.
“Well,” you spoke, an unexpected grin forming on your lips, “looks like we might actually be on the same page this time.”
He held his hand out and offered you a smile full of purpose. “I’m Dave, Dave York, D.I.A.”
The immediacy with which you gave him your name surprised you. As he shook your hand you noted a slight awkwardness to his grip, though you could tell he was making every effort to give you a strong handshake. The skin on the inside of his palm and his fingertips were slightly weathered with scar tissue. You noticed the cold feeling of metal on his left-hand ring finger and took note of the wedding ring, trying not to frown. A corner of your brain wondered about the stories that could be found in the lines of those weathered hands.
“Hmm, D.I.A.,” you murmur to yourself. “Was following me to the elevator just your creepy way of getting me to talk shop with you?”
“You think I’d be that obvious?” His voice lowered an octave when he turned to face you and a chill tingled all over you.
“Well I don’t know you,” you replied with a shrug, “but I’d say if you were, you’d be pretty shitty at your job.”
“You’ve got a mouth on you don’t you, firefly,” he said, his brow lowering as he took one step toward you.
His hands tightened on his hips as he stepped toward you and he squared his shoulders behind him. Your brain took stock of each movement, at each attempt to make himself seem bigger and you seem smaller. A wicked little laugh brewed inside your abdomen as you accepted his challenge, moving one inch forward. You were close enough to breathe in his scent and your gaze moved from his neck, up to his lips and then to his eyes. 
“When you’re a woman in the IC, you’ve got to find ways to adapt; it’s nothing personal.”
An unremorseful apology. 
The elevator bell rang out with a loud ding.
“This is my stop,” holding your gaze to him, neither of you moved
“Maybe we’ll run into each other again sometime this week.”  
“Maybe,” you agreed with the tilt of your head, that felt almost too flirty to you. “Enjoy the rest of your conference.
“You too,” he affirmed as he pulled his phone from his pocket, quickly becoming engrossed by a text message that you suspected was from his spouse.
Slight disappointment set in that you could not continue the conversation, but your exhaustion was quickly winning out. Your eyelids and muscles felt heavy as they screamed louder for rest. You ambled to your room and as you opened the door you immediately kicked off your high heels and shook your arms out of your blazer, tossing it on the bed. You walked back to the bathroom and reached into the shower, turning the dial towards hot. Mindlessly, you began unbuttoning your light coral blouse when you heard a knock at your room door. An audible sigh of frustration left you as you quickly turned the water off.
Who could possibly have any reason to bother me right now, you thought to yourself, using the peephole to look outside.
“Hey, it’s me,” you saw and heard your coworker from the other side of the door, “Brad.”
You took a deep breath, making your annoyance before opening the door.
“Hi, Brad,” you greeted tentatively, “everything OK?” 
“Oh yeah, everything is fine,” he replied with a grin that was too perfectly and polished. “Heard you did a good job on your presentation.”
“Heard?” You said with a raised brow.
“That’s the word from all the guys I’ve run into who attended,” he explained leaning against your doorway. “They were really impressed with you.”
A wave of exhaustion immediately took over your shoulders and you stepped back. You felt inconvenienced and nearly disgusted as you observed Brad’s eyes meet yours but travel down the length of your body. Every word that left him wrapped you in disgust.  The perfection that he displayed reeked of privilege. He was the typical aging former college frat boy and it did nothing for you. The entitlement he wore on his shoulders might as well have been a flashing, neon sign shouting out that he could get away with anything. 
“That’s cool,” you say quickly, inching closer and closer to shutting the door. “Well, I’m going to finish up some reports and turn in; I am beat.”
“What?” he stared back at you in confusion. “It’s not even 6 yet, and happy hour’s just started.”
“And you are much better at rubbing shoulders with the bigwigs, B,” you compliment hoping it would make him leave faster. “Work that magic of yours. Happy-hour it and let me know how it goes?”
You shut the door quickly hoping that you left him dumbfounded.
With him gone you were able to return to all the things you planned to bring you relaxation. You returned to the shower, the water warming quickly. The warmth of the water encompassed you, easing the tension of your neck, shoulders, and back muscles. You stepped out, wrapping yourself in a towel. The next hours were perfectly mundane. You wrapped yourself in a hotel robe, had a light dinner, read for fun, and basked in your nightly skincare routine. Before you knew it you had fallen asleep in your bathrobe with the tv on.
You woke up with a start, your brain hazy with confusion. Rolling over, you were greeted with the bright light of the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand. 12:12 AM. You weren’t even sure what time you had fallen asleep. You nestled yourself back into the bed, trying to will the white noise of the air conditioner and soft fullness of the down comforter to lull you back to sleep. Instead, you found yourself tossing and turning and very much awake.
With frustration, you pull on a pair of high-waisted sweatpants and a yellow tank top, layering your navy-blue blazer over it to appear at least halfway decent. You took one last look at yourself in the mirror, brushing fingers through your hair before securing it into a messy French twist with one of your hair clips. A puff of air left from your lips as you chuckled at yourself.
Don’t be ridiculous, you thought to yourself. You’re not trying to impress anybody.
The silence of the empty halls amplified the echo of your light footsteps towards the elevator. You waited patiently, with arms crossed until you found yourself on the ground level of the hotel. Relief washed over you when you noticed that the hotel bar was less busy than you expected. The bartender attended to you quickly filling your order of a whiskey, allowing you to find a quiet corner booth to enjoy your drink.  The bar was open to the lobby and allowed you to people watch as you took slow sips of your drink. You glanced at your watch.
12:57 am. No one interesting is going to walk through those doors at this hour.
You took another sip of your drink, letting the smokiness coat your lips, tongue, and the back of your throat with sweet burn before you looked up again, noticing a familiar, handsome face walk through the lobby doors. Dave. He was rubbing his hands from the cold December air and his brown hair was covered in a dark gray beanie. You kept your eyes on him, thinking he wouldn’t notice until he locked eyes with you and raised his right arm with a wave. He stopped, shuffling his feet beneath him with indecision until he began to walk towards the bar, towards you.
“We meet again,” you greeted, gesturing for him to take a seat across from you. “Back late, I see.”
“Ah, yeah,” he acknowledged his arrival as though it were an afterthought, “sometimes you get caught up with colleagues and you just don’t have a choice.”
“True,” you agreed, “I get it.”
“What about you?” He inquired, pointing towards your drink. “You’re up late.”
“Oh, yeah, I couldn’t sleep,” you admitted, taking another sip of it, “that’s why I look like this.”
You waved your hands towards yourself, trying to emphasize how completely unimpressive your appearance was. A chill overcame you as his expression changed, his brow furrowing almost scornfully.
“I don’t know about that,” his eyes reading every inch of you from your head all the way down to your toes, “you look…good.”
Goosebumps tiptoed up and down your arms, like little finger tips tapping and teasing you. You unconsciously crossed and uncrossed your legs, feeling the fabric of your underwear rub against you, your entrance welling with your own sweet dew. Your eyes took a split-second glimpse of his wedding ring. Against your better judgment, you allowed yourself to smile at his compliment. You traced the rim of your whiskey-filled lowball glass, thinking how to respond.
“Congratulations, you have eyes,” you quipped, coaxing a low, growling laugh from him before you continued. “So, I couldn’t sleep, and I came down here to people watch.”
He leaned forward at your comment, his brown eyes round and wide as he raised his eyebrows with interest. His shoulders loosened and his newly relaxed demeanor invited more conversation.
“You like that?” He asked, his brows raised with curiosity. “People watching, I mean.”
The double entendre that left his pouted lips electrified you, feeling his electricity unexpectedly flick at your nipples and then at your core. The dim lighting of the hotel bar, the light jazz music playing over the speakers, and your hushed voices amplified the mysterious ambience around you. All of it together seemed so perfect that you couldn’t help following his lead, so you leaned in closer. Even in a beanie and wearing a thick jacket, you found him nearly irresistible.
“It’s a favorite pastime of mine,” you answered, keeping your eyes on him, “I like to think about people’s stories, people’s personal stories.”
“Is that why you were looking at me, observing me?” His tone dipped in a thin layer of accusation coupled with intense interest. “Trying to figure out my story?”
You stare back at him with a deep breath, wondering why you kept engaging when you knew you should stop.
“I’m not surprised you noticed,” you stated nonchalantly, “as unsurprised as you probably are about me wondering about your wedding ring.”
He strained his left hand open and closed, looking at his own ring as though it was a triviality. To your surprise, he leaned toward you even more, like a challenge.
“You know there’s a lot more to people’s stories than what you can piece together from a fleeting observation,” as he spoke, it felt like his charisma was vibrating off him and floating towards you. “Life, relationships are messy, complicated.”
 You read the unspoken words that uttered from the moves of his body. One hand resting open in the empty space between you in the booth. The fingers of his other hand rubbing at his chin and lips, which curled into an enticing smile. These movements and these words lingered in your brain, until you understood that they were filled with intrigue and desire. You breathed them in and mirrored them.
“So what about your story Dave,” you inquired, leaning in but making sure you kept your eyes to his, “your life, your relationship?”
You found yourself involuntarily licking your lips. The whiskey along with the heat of embarrassment flushed your cheeks and neck. It had you finally admitting to yourself that this man was really fucking attractive. He tilted his head towards you, smiled, and damn near melted you as he traced the bottom of his pouty lips with his thumb. Your eyes tracing every move of his immense, sinewy hands, as he checked the time on his gold watch.
1:47 AM.
“It’s too late right now to tell you that,” he teased, drawing a slight huff of frustration from you, “Ask me tomorrow night, here at the bar. 7:30.”
“How presumptuous of you to assume I’d be available,” you said, tipping your whiskey towards him, impressed by his ability to avoid answering a hard question.  
 “Oh firefly, you’re not the only one who’s good at reading people,” the words left his lips luring you and trapping you like a vice. “Nothing about this tells me you’ll say no.”
Dave gestured at the narrow space between you, his hand almost cutting through the warm air like a sharp blade. The innuendo of his words threatened to set you ablaze. You took another sip of whiskey, allowing it to warm and loosen your muscles, allowing it to calm you.
“Well then,” you willed yourself to hold your tongue lightly against your lips before breathing out the last word, “tomorrow.”
With a nod of confirmation, he stood up and swaggered towards the elevators. An audible gasp that had been saving itself in your lungs escaped you when you knew for sure that he was gone. You chased it with a final gulp of your whiskey, feeling its exquisite burn as it moved through you. Leaving a tip on the table, you stood up and made your way towards the elevator.
Tomorrow night. Your brain spoke to you again.
At that moment the elevator doors opened, and you entered. You returned to your room, discarding your blazer and sweat pants, before plopping into bed. You grabbed the fluffy comforter up to your chin, inviting in and surrendering to sleep.
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lullabyalikpoptarot · 15 days ago
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Jung Wooyoung Perspective Reading
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Okay, now going to start with doing the members of Ateez. I wasn't sure to go with him or San, but I felt his would be less intense, so rather start with him. The song I got for him is Float by Janelle Monae. I can interpret this is he is someone who rises above obstacles or doesn't allow others to bring him down or keep him down for too long. Now, I liked his energy from my Ateez readings, so I was interested to see what he will share here. As I am not familiar with any member here, so I am excited to start on the group's members one on one. I am being pulled towards the archetype decks first, so here we go.
I am already getting very flirty energy here with him. He has a balance of feminine and masculine energy here. He can be a pursuer, charming his way into your life, but he also has a magnetic pull that brings others towards him. He kind of knows how to use his attractiveness to his benefit. He seems to have a way of getting someone to love him, be it using his charms to do so, or his ability to be in touch with his divine feminine energy to get others to bend to his will. The Goddess card in this deck just reminds me of the 9 of Pentacles, which I feel represents him well. Someone confident and abundant with an independence to him. He just stands in his power and glory. It isn't dominant or aggressive at all. He kind of just enjoys to do his own thing. There is a spirit in him that tries to do new things or has innovative ways of getting things done. He can think of a lot of new creative ideas. With these cards I can say he has a very creative mind. I am not sure he uses it in the arts or with their music, but he has a lot of fun new ideas roaming in his head. I feel he has the ability to create something different and innovative. I am looking at this Prince card, and I hear he has the power of seduction, so okay. I can see this boy getting anyone to do what he wants. He has that pull and energy.
Alright, so these set of cards give me a different vibe. I say he is good judge of character and makes very good decisions. He may like to look things over and make an analysis before going towards something. He is the type that weighs all his options. He looks at the good and bad. There is a sense of clarity he has when it comes to his decision. I got the message from this hunter card, seek and you shall find, not sure what that means, but guessing it means whatever he pursues he finds a solution to what he seeks. I can see him on the prowl, someone always searching for something. He is the type that always wants something new out of his life. He is also very curious to learn about things in life. He is a Sag, so I am now seeing that Sag energy here. He seems to make fun out of life. He could be a bit of jokester and trickster. He may like to make others laugh and have fun. It is like his joy to make others laugh and lift others spirits up. It is like the world can be depressing and stressful, so he tries to make a laugh of it and try to bring as much joy as possible to his life and others. I can see him not taking things too seriously or tries to most of the time. The Float song in the beginning is making more sense here.
He is a person who just goes with the flow. He tries his best not to fight against anything. He doesn't see the purpose. He sets an intention and trust the process will come through. I can say he is someone who is transparent, pretty easy to see through. He kind of shows all his cards. I just see him not caring how others see him, it is like this is me take it or leave it. If you like me, great, if not, cool. He is a courageous and brave person. He is willing to try new things. He may even like a bit of a challenge. There is a strength and boldness he has. I see him being very confident in himself and his abilities. I don't see it as cocky. The healthy amount of confidence one needs to succeed in life. He always seems to look to self-growth and improvement, always trying to better himself. I don't see him as the type to stay stuck in bad patterns and stay stuck in the past too much. He lives and learns. That Alanis song is coming up too. I say he trust his instincts a lot. He may have strong intuition and follows it very well. He may be careful about trusting a situation or people too blindly though, but I see him being a good judge of character, so that may not be a problem for him.
I feel he has the talent and skills to create something really great. Although he is confident in himself in some respects, not sure he is when it comes to creating something. It is like he may not seem like he has the potential, but it is there. He may need to go into the depths of himself, which may be a bit uncomfortable for him to bring out that creative power he has. It is like he has the magical touch to create wonderful things. All the cards here have pink. I am not sure why I am noticing that, but the details always seem important to me when I read, so this could indicate this is showing me he is a soft and loving person. He needs to play around with his ideas and try new things. If he isn't already. I would urge him to let his creative ideas loose. It may be hard, because companies do stunt these idols creativity, so not sure he is stunted, or he is just not comfortable sharing his creative side. I am not sure if he is the type to enjoy the journey, rather than focusing on the results, or this is guiding him to do so, like to not rush for results and enjoy the process of creating something. Maybe he stops himself, because the process is too long. From this energy it seems he has a lot of creative energy that should be used. I am not sure if it is music, fashion (not sure why I am getting this), or accessories who knows, but create something, if he doesn't already.
Once again, I am getting there is more he wants to do with his career. I see him having lots of ideas and prospects of what he wants to do. Not sure he can do all that he wants to do. I feel like this idol industry can limit what he can actually do, like he could start so many different business ventures if he could. There is an aspect of him that is very good at grounding himself and keeping peace within himself. He could meditate. Although, he can be loud and frantic. There is a calmness to him at his core. I feel he has a strong core sense of self, which was the opposite of what I got for the Jimin's reading. Once again, he is some who is very decisive and knows what is right for him and which opportunities to take. He in a sense seeks balance and fairness. I am getting a lot of cards that he has this innate ability to attract the things he wants; not sure he can do it subconsciously or he is aware of this ability. But as I mention, he has a magnetic pull to gravitate the people and things he wants out of life, so maybe whatever he wants to do and explore could happen with this energy. He has strong capabilities of building wealth, how he does it, I don't know, but he's got that factor.
Not to my Tarot, the first card he gets is the 4 of Cups, this doesn't surprise me, he seems a bit bored with what he is giving. I can see him being someone who is a bit distant and closed off from others. I just think he likes to keep his deep sh** to himself. He doesn't like diving too deep into himself. He is more about making something out of life, than doing the deep work. I can see him being someone who meditates and contemplates about things as well. I say, he might do some deep work, but he won't let others into that. He keeps to himself. Now he got the Wheel of Fortune, once again another card that shows he is a lucky person in life, someone who can build wealth and make money. He is someone who wants to progress and move up the latter, so to speak. I do sense there is a missed opportunity he may have had that he is disappointed about. I am not sure if he was blocked from it, or he just didn't take the offer. Now with the 4 of pentacles, yeah, he is greedy and stingy, not going to lie. He can be a bit selfish at times. There is a strong sense of self-control this boy has. He values his career and money a lot and won't let anyone or anything ruin it. He is also very good with money and knows how to save as well.
So, I would say he is a more practical and passionate person but does lack emotional depth. I just see him preferring to live life than wallow in despair. His energy is similar to Sunghoon to be honest, same vibe. But I find his energy a bit more optimistic and upbeat. I don't see a lot of Air energy as well, so he isn't the type that is in his head stressing a lot. I can see why people would think he is one dimensional, but he has a balance of practicality and passionate energy that doesn't make him that way. He can be lively on stage/on-camera, but behind the scenes he is more businesslike and serious. I find his energy fascinating and had fun with this one. I like his energy, probably up there with Beomgyu's so far.
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evan4ever · 2 years ago
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All I needed
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a/n: I’m not sure where this idea came from I just woke up and was like omg yes. And I’m also celebrating 450 followers 🥹 thank you all!!! I can’t even explain how much all of your kind words mean to me and how much they help influence me to keep writing. So enjoy this (LONG) angsty fic to celebrate 🖤 also these are the two songs I listened to on repeat while writing so they kind of go well with it!
Warnings: angst, near-death, some pretty harsh cussing/words, abuse, it’s Kai so that’s a warning itself lol
You were there through it all. From the very beginning. You were always there. From the moment you met Kai, this cute and quiet brown headed boy seemingly scared of the world, he clung to you and you to him. He sought peace from you, being the only way he ever could find any. From his parents to the rest of the world, you were his saving grace.
And when he turned into this angry, hatred filled man that turned his fear of the world into the world fearing him, you still remained at his side. It wasn’t easy, never was. You had good times, sure, but more often than not you were stuck in what felt like a personal hell. Your life was filled now with nothing but constant death, yelling, running for your life, anger — so much anger.
And despite it all, you still stayed by his side because you loved him. You did everything in your power to think of the Kai you fell in love with, finding him deep within his angry, untrusting eyes. You would manage to bring him out when it was only the two of you, when Kai was sure no one else was around or would ever see him so weak. It was only because he felt safe with you, knowing you were there to stay and nothing he ever did it said would scare you away.
You were there for him when he started it all. You died his hair blue, you helped him find his new dark attire, you helped him write his speeches and stood by his side at every single one, cheering him on and giving him the confidence he needed. It was you through it all.
Winter too, of course. Though she was more wary of it all, careful with her every word. She told you multiple times that you should leave him if you knew what was good for you. She was never scared that he’d hurt you, she knew he wouldn’t, that he’d kill for you, but his actions and motives were surely going to get you killed. She was scared for your safety, loving you like a sister and only wanting what was best for you. But despite all her efforts and pleas, you stayed.
The good times you had with him made it worth all the pain and consequences that may come. The love you both shared made the danger worth it.
But as the years went by, and the stronger Kai became, somewhere along the way those three words became nonexistent. The three words you needed to hear him say to you, you needed to hear to be reminded from him, became so seldom that it actually hurt. You knew he loved you, he showed it in other ways, but Kai was so scared of being vulnerable that he nearly refused to tell you himself. You always told him, you would always say them every chance you got, but he never returned them. He’d only smile and kiss your forehead or give your hand a squeeze. It was enough for awhile, but eventually it became disheartening. It made you feel like everything you did for him, staying at his side, was all for nothing.
You needed him to say it. You needed to hear it.
You were sat by his side at the round table, listening to him speak in front of all the members of his cult, all the other women and men that surrounded you and took in his every word. At some point, you stopped listening, knowing he wasn’t necessarily speaking to you. He rarely involved you in their schemes and plans. You were safer by his side or at your shared home. So you learned to be present physically while mentally being somewhere else, usually in your head replaying different good memories.
He’d caught on though, that you stopped listening at the meets. Once in awhile he’d place his hand on your thigh and give you a small squeeze to bring you back when something being discussed was important and he wanted to be sure you’d hear it. Besides that, he let you do as you please. You appreciated it, again being something out of love, one of his ways of showing you that he did, in fact, love you. But it wasn’t enough anymore.
“Does everyone understand?” You blinked over to him when you realized the meeting was being wrapped up. The multiple heads in the room nodded to him and he sent them on their way, you watching as everyone scattered from the basement until only you and Kai were left.
You waited until you heard the last pair of footsteps going up the stairs to disappear, knowing then that you were completely alone. Kai stood from his seat and walked over to his desk, picking through some papers in silence. Your heartbeat sped up knowing you wanted to tell him how you felt, knowing that there was a small risk of angering him. It didn’t happen often, him raising his voice at you. But every once in awhile you would cross a line, usually something that compromised your safety that he had clearly told you not to do yet you’d done anyways. He was very careful with you, the way he spoke to you and the plans he’d made for you.
However, you’d still seen him angry. You’d still seen him blow up in a fit of rage at others, seeing him lay his hands on others. You’ve even witnessed him murder from time to time. It scared you, but it never faltered your love for him. You were always there to clean him up and to help him collect himself.
Others eventually caught on to how you were the only one who could bring Kai back down. Eventually, they tried to only speak to Kai of their concerns or doubts around you in hopes that it would lessen the blow, but he’d caught on to it and made it clear by putting a bullet in the head of the next person who tried to confront him while you were there for their own reassurance to show that they couldn’t use you like that, and that nothing would stop him from being disrespected or disagreed with. Soon after, it didn’t matter if you were around or not, Kai was Kai. You could only bring him down when you were completely alone, like you were now.
“Kai?” You spoke his name quietly, watching as his attention didn’t fall from the papers he was reading through. He only replied him a hum to let you know he heard you and was listening. You stood from your spot at the table and walked closer to him while still keeping a good amount of distance between you both. Finally he peeled his eyes from the papers to you, a few feet beside him, when you hadn’t continued. Your eyebrows raised slightly when his eyes landed on you curiously, your mouth falling open slightly as if you had lost your words.
“What?”
“Um” you cleared your through, looking away from him now. His eyebrows narrowed at your odd behavior before looking back to the papers to continue what he was doing until you were ready to spit out whatever you were going to. He could tell you were about to bring up something that was obviously bothering you, it didn’t phase him as he knew he’d be able to either reassure you or manipulate you. Either way, it always worked.
But when a few silent minutes passed and you still hadn’t spoke up, he dropped the papers and turned to you completely, resting himself against the desk and crossing his arms. You readjusted yourself at his new stance, feeling like you were now 2 feet tall compared to him. He was good at making others feel small.
You straightened yourself so you were standing as tall as you could and his eyes never left yours. You could sense the annoyance he began to feel at your lack of words.
“Are you going to say it or not?” He spoke with urgency, as if he had somewhere to be and you were taking up the time he had.
“Sorry I just..” you cleared your throat again and looked down to your feet, not wanting to see his face when you’d finally ask your question, or rather stated your statement. “You haven’t told me you love me in awhile.”
You felt ashamed in what you had just said. You knew he was a busy man, and you were aware of the small things he’d do to reassure you. You felt like a child for wanting to hear him actually say it, and you wondered how your relationship came to this.
When you heard nothing, your head shot up and you met his eyes that were holding a loud nothingness in them. You swallowed the lump in your throat and blinked a few times feeling the need to explain yourself further.
“I don’t mean to be a bother. I know you’re busy and I know you have other ways of showing me you love me —“
“Then why do I need to tell you?” His cold words cut you off causing you to flinch and look back down, your hands picking at the skin on your fingers out of nerves. The shame you felt even stronger now. You really didn’t know what to say, because he was right. You hadn’t had this conversation before because it never used to bother you, you weren’t exactly sure why it did now.
“I mean, I guess you don’t. It’s just nice to hear sometimes.” You spoke in nearly a whisper, careful not to say the wrong thing and definitely not wanting to pick a fight. Your eyes didn’t return to his from the awfulness you felt, but you could feel his burning into you.
“Is what I’ve been doing not enough? I never involve you in the dangerous plans, I never put you in the kitchen with the other women, I never make you do anything you’re not comfortable with. Why do you need me to remind you with words? Actions show you so much more.” His words were harsh, as if he couldn’t believe you weren’t satisfied. “Any of the other women would be grateful to be where you are.”
He turned now going back to his papers. He wanted to be done with the conversation, but you weren’t. You needed to at least get it all off your chest and now was the only time you figured you’d have for awhile. And it hurt you that he’d bring up the other women, knowing one of them being completely taken by him and would do anything for him. You were never jealous of Meadow, but you couldn’t deny the irritation you felt by her. Though you know you should be appreciative of your position since Meadow would probably kill to be where you stood, always next to Kai, always protected by Kai. No one was ever allowed to involve you in anything, never allowed to touch you or talk to you negatively.
“I know that,” you spoke slowly, carefully, “I’m very grateful to be where I’m at Kai. I’d never take it for granted, ever.” You watched as he glanced at you from the corner of his eyes before back down to the mess of papers on his desk. Your mind wandered for a second to what it was they said before scrambling back to what you were attempting to talk to him about. “But… you used to tell me often, when we were alone. In bed, in the shower, whatever the case — you always reminded me then. You haven’t for months, even when I tell you; you don’t even say it back and that’s all I need. It just hurts is all.”
“Is that really what you’re worrying about right now? Me telling you I love you?” You flinched a bit at his now louder voice that seems to boom throughout the basement. “You should get your priorities straight y/n. I don’t have time for your feelings.”
You took a few deep breaths to control your breathing and do your best to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. “I can’t help me feelings, Kai.” You whispered, not looking at him anymore at this point. “I’m sorry.”
A beat of silence filled the room, your jaw clenching to keep yourself from crying. You didn’t want to seem weak, knowing it was a pet peeve of Kai’s for you to be weak. He needed you strong, just as you’ve been all these years. He was taken back by your new negative emotions. And all he could manage to do was stare at you in disgust, unable to comprehend how to deal with them. It angered him in a way, but it pulled at his heart at the same time. He didn’t want you to ever feel unloved, but he couldn’t seem weak, he couldn’t allow himself to be vulnerable even with you.
“Just forget it Kai.” You shook your head turning away from him and making your way to the stairs. You silently hoped he would call out to you, make you go back to him and engulf you in a tight embrace, but he never did and you didn’t dare turn back to him, only making your way up the stairs and exiting the basement. Kai’s eyes followed you until you were out of his sight. He immediately blinked down to the floor, his eyebrows pressed together as he thought over what you had said.
He truly thought he was doing enough to show you his love through his actions. He loves you deeply, so deep that it scared him. And instead of letting that feeling take him over, he pushed it aside. He had to keep his head straight, he couldn’t be seen or heard being loving towards you, not like that. Everyone knew he loved you, and that you and Winter were the only ones he truly cared about. But he was quick to making it known that not even his love for others would steer him away from what was really important. He didn’t want people to think that they could get to him by the ones he loved, that’s why he put a bullet in the heads of those who tried to use you or Winter to get to him — that’s why he never spoke those vulnerable words to anyone, not even you.
Days passed, you never acting as you had in the basement those days ago with Kai. You acted perfectly fine, strong, like it never even happened. Kai watched you carefully the first few days, wondering if it was really hurting you as bad as you had made it seem. But when you never gave him a second glance or brought it up again and just went on like normal, he eventually let it go.
In fact, you seemed better than ever. You were more eager to be involved, being completely present at every meeting, throwing in your own ideas even. It was new, but Kai didn’t mind it. Enjoyed it, actually. You hadn’t thrown in your great ideas in awhile, maybe years. He missed them. You always had a devious mind and always put it to good use. It was exciting, and he genuinely enjoyed seeing you so involved in the cult again.
Though with it came less affection and attention towards Kai. Instead of being with him at night in bed, you’d spend your time with the other members. It almost seemed like you were avoiding him, and instead of him thinking it may be because of your previous conversation, he thought opposite. He thought maybe you were finally pleased with the small things he did to show you his love and that you wanted to be more involved. And he let you be as involved as your safety would allow.
Until you began showing signs of recklessness. You began picking fights and arguments with those who didn’t agree with you or you didn’t agree with. You began going with Kai and the others on their dangerous missions, though Kai never let you leave the van. Usually you’d be happy to stay home, but now you were arguing with Kai to let you go, even arguing to be allowed to kill with them, but he never let you. This sparked new tension and arguments between you and Kai, something Kai wasn’t used to. You never argued with him, you never fought or went against his word, especially when it had to do with your safety, something Kai refused at all costs to compromise.
You news of the plans tonight of murdering a few of the councils family members, a way of scaring them into their place. Kai wanted to be top guy, he wanted everyone to listen to him even if it meant butchering their families to get them to do so. They had no idea, and though you have never enjoyed the murder that took place in the cult, you wanted to be apart of it. Something inside of you wanted to make others scared of you instead of viewing you as Kai’s precious gem.
You were in the process of gearing up, you stuck a knife in your boot and loaded your gun before placing it inside your waist and of your jeans. You refused to dress up as a clown, wanting to look like yourself feeling it would make you more intimidating.
“Why are you gearing up? You know Kai isn’t going to let you anywhere near the house, right?”
You looked back at Meadow as she spoke, your eyes immediately rolling at her annoying voice. It want out of place for Meadow to use words to get to you. She’s been witnessing your new incessant need to be involved just as much as Kai, and she had the availability to use it against you since it was a known fact that you would never get close enough to pull the trigger of your gun if it were up to Kai.
“Kai doesn’t tell me what I can and can’t do” you spoke matter of factly, not wanting to give a second look to Meadow knowing if you did, she’d have the upper hand. Most of the time you’d ignore her or bring up the fact that you were the one that got to fuck Kai whenever you wanted, not her, and that was enough for her to stomp off. But this particular night, she wasn’t giving up.
“Really? Cause it seems to me that’s all he ever does. Control you, tell you what to do. You’re like his pet. It’s entertaining, honestly. Watching you do whatever he asks you to.” She chuckled, now standing behind you. You close your eyes and take a deep breath at her words to keep yourself calm. You really didn’t want to give her the satisfaction on getting to you, but you felt it was pretty hypocritical to talk about being a pet when she would literally get on her hands and knees and kiss his fucking get it it meant he’d spare her a few minutes if attention.
“Funny, coming from you Meadow” you turned to face her, her shrug of shoulder only infuriating you more, “last I checked it was you begging for his attention. It’s not a secret that you’d kill to be where I’m at. Everyone in this house knows how in love with him you are. It’s pathetic, sad really.” You raised your eyebrows and sent her a smirk. She pursed her lips together shooting you a ridiculous glare that only made you chuckle in response.
“I’m the one who risks my life for him, it should be me next to him. I deserve his love, not you. You’re a liability to this cult, to him. He knows it, hence why you aren’t allowed to do, well, anything.” She snarls, your lips curving into a pleased smile, taking a step closer so your faces were only inches apart.
“And yet, here you are, not loved by anyone, risking your life for someone who wouldn’t pay you any attention even if you had a gun to your head.” You spoke the words so smoothly, rolling of your tongue so easily. You could see her nostrils flare in anger, hurt even. She knew you were right and it only added fuel to the fire that was starting. “That must really suck.”
You felt as her fist collided with your cheekbone, causing you to stumble back. You gripped your face for a moment before recollecting yourself and standing back up, your eyes meeting hers. You could feel the tingling under your eye knowing well that it would bruise. You let out a short instinctive laugh, nodding towards her.
“That was good. You got me there” your head spun quickly as it took everything for you not to fucking kill the bitch. You knew it was against the rules to kill your own team, though you and Meadow seemed to be on the opposite team. “I’ll give you that one.”
“Why? Because you know Kai would turn on you if you killed me?” She spat, rallying you more to see how far she could push you. You narrowed your eyes at her, Meadow only raising her head higher confidently.
“That’s what you want, isn’t it? You want me to kill you so Kai turns on me? Then what — you’ll be dead anyway, dumbass.” You rolled your eyes at her complete lack of brain activity, pushing past her to make your way to the bathroom.
“I would die knowing if I can’t have him, you couldn’t either.” She remarked in a sickening pleased tone. In that moment, you only saw red, turning and grabbing her wrist pulling her towards you only for your wrist to smack down on her face, causing her to fall to the floor with a squeak. You chuckled harshly at her reaction, opposite of yours.
“Come on, you can’t even take what you give? What are you doing here then?” You lowered yourself to her level in a squat, seeing her holding her now bloody nose while looking up at you with an angered expression. “Threaten my relationship again, and I won’t have to kill you. I’ll have Kai do it himself.”
Your eyes pierced into hers, holding nothing but coldness and seriousness. The nerve of some people, you thought.
Her eyes adverted from yours to behind you, her face turning from scared to what almost looked like pleasure. You looked behind you seeing Kai standing tall, an unreadable expression on his face. You glanced back at Meadow in disgust, taking her head and pulling it up from the floor only to smash it back down against it hard, nearly knocking her out. You pushed yourself from the floor and turned around to face Kai now, crossing your arms over your chest. He now looked at you with confusion and caution.
At this point he knew you were going through something. He’d never seen you get violent with anyone and this concerned him.
You both glanced down at Meadow who was collecting herself, holding her head as she brought herself back to her feet. Her nose was gushing blood at this point, the blunt force trauma from smashing her head against the floor most likely worsening it. She groaned lightly, holding her head and wiping her nose before her eyes met Kai’s, not looking at you. You rolled your eyes at her pathetic attempt to gain sympathy from him.
“What’s going on?” He asked, his voice quiet and careful while he looked between you and Meadow.
“She attacked me! She’s fucking crazy, she’s a liability Kai.” Meadow spoke trying to convince Kai you were dangerous. You rolled your eyes, Kai’s eyes flickering to yours for an explanation. Your eyebrows immediately raised at his second guessing of you.
“Are you serious? You believe her?”
“You’ve been acting out y/n. You’re being irrational.”
You let out a harsh laugh shaking your head is disbelief. “Come on Meadow, you left out the best part!” You gleamed as you liked at her, “you know, the part where you want me to try to kill you so Kai will turn on me? ‘If I can’t have him, you can’t either’.” You mocked her previous words, still smiling at her as she coward down in her arms that were wrapped around her protectively. You rolled your eyes again at the act she was putting on.
“Is that true, Meadow?” Kai asked her, Meadows eyes not meeting his or anyone else’s, practically telling on herself. Kai looked down, nodding to himself at her lack of defense. “Your behavior still isn’t acceptable, y/n.” Kai stated, your eyes widening when he still chose to discipline you rather than Meadow.
“Are you..? You’re kidding me Kai.” You clenched your jaw in anger, his eyes shooting up to meet yours with a new sense of anger flashing within them. It didn’t scare you, you refused to back down.
“No. I’m not fucking kidding. You’re being reckless and I won’t have it. You’re going to get someone killed.” He barked at you as everyone that had filled the room to watch the event unfold quieted down, watching.
Your lips pressed together tightly. “I refuse to be disrespected from someone who wants to fuck my boyfriend. But you know what? Go ahead.” You walked closer to him so your chests were pretty much pressed against the others, “give her what she wants. Go fuck her.”
Your eyes flared into each others in equal anger, him feeling embarrassed of your words in front of his followers. You could see his jaw clench tightly as he did everything he could to control himself with you. If it were anyone else, he’d already have killed them or at the very least had them on the ground unable to fucking move.
“You’re pushing your limits, y/n” he spoke quietly but firmly. Your head tilted at his words, smiling up at him.
“Must be hard, letting everyone here see how weak I make you.” You emphasized the word weak, only staring him down daringly.
You could see the rage inside him fill, his eyes darting between yours as the corners of his mouth twitched, his fists clenching and unclenching repeatedly. All while you only stood your place, continuing to dare him. Though, he never moved or put a hand on you. You sucked in a breath when he showed he wasn’t going to do anything other than glare at you, feeling utterly humiliated by your words and his lack of action towards them.
“Didn’t think so.” You whispered to him towards his silence. You finally took a step back and smiled towards everyone in the room before looking back at Kai who still stood angrily before you. “So, I’ll be in the van.” You shrugged your shoulders unfazed by the entire ordeal that just happened, turning and walking out the door leaving them all to wait for their Devine ruler to tell them what to do next.
You placed yourself on the bench inside the back of the van, crossing your legs and waiting while the rest of the crew followed behind you and filed in one by one, Kai the last to enter and placing himself across from you.
“Mm, no Meadow?” You asked innocently. Kai only blinked showing no emotion.
“She’s staying back, tending to her head injury.” He stated, his elbows resting on his thighs as he was bent forward his eyes never leaving you.
You only smiled and shrugged again. “Weak.”
Kai looked over you while you scanned the others in the room contently, his eyes landing on the black, swollen bruise below your eye. He hadn’t noticed it forming before, his eyebrows furrowing in concern and realization that you had been struck by Meadow, so it wasn’t just on you. But you were so uncaring of it, which only concerned him further. He was having troubles understanding you, this wasn’t like you. He honestly didn’t know how to handle it.
He finally sat back on the bench, his back resting against the wall of the van but his eyes never leaving your figure.
“You know you’re not going in.” He stated, but his face scrunching in concern as you waved him off.
“Actually, I am.” You looked at him now. “And you’re not going to tell me otherwise.”
“You’ll get someone killed,” he spat in disgust, “or yourself. I won’t let either happen.” He now looked away. You shrugged, again, as if you didn’t give a shit, because you didn’t. You needed to feel something, you needed this.
“Im going in.” You said so simply, deciding not to argue further if he tried. And he did, but you drowned him out and when the van came to a halt, you were the first to stand and let yourself out, ignoring Kai’s demands to come back. The others followed you and you all continued walking until Kai grabbed ahold of your wrist and pulled you back to face him. You immediately ripped your wrist from his hold and shot him a death glare while the others continued their way inside following Kai’s detailed instructions and starting the small massacre.
“What’s your problem?!” You shouted at him, his angry expression only holding to on you. “I’m tired of letting you tell me what I can and can’t do!”
“I’m trying to protect you!” He yelled at you, but you pushed his chest hard.
“Well don’t! I helped you create this cult, I’m allowed to do what I please!” The bewildered look on his face had no effect on you, holding your ground.
“Do you not understand the severity of what’s happening right now in that home? You aren’t a murderer, y/n!” He yelled again, your jaw clenching in response. “You never wanted to be one. I’m trying to protect you from this! You’re not supposed to be like me!”
You could see the old Kai shining through and it caused you to suck in a sharp breath. The old Kai is all you’ve wanted to see again all these years. And now, you were threatening your innocence, and there he was. But as quick as he came, he went, and Kai’s eyes went cold again. You glared at him then, turning around and making your way inside the house where screams were heard. Kai watched wide eyed as you walked away from him, about to indulge in the insanity from inside. He watched as your pure, beautiful self, turned into someone he no longer recognized. He realized you were about to become him, a monster, and he had no way of stopping you. He couldn’t bring himself to watch you kill, he didn’t want to see you do it. He didn’t want to see the darkness take over you like it had him.
And it was then that he realized that it was him. He was what turned you into this. Thinking back to the evening in his basement when you begged him to tell you he loved you again, that that was your last time trying. You needed to hear it from him to keep yourself from becoming him. And he brushed you off, turned you away, refused to be vulnerable with you because he didn’t want to be weak. He did this. He turned you into this.
“God.. fucking dammit” he muttered to himself as he took off towards the house. You were already inside, he wasn’t sure what was happening at this point. He wasn’t in with the rest of his followers to keep the plan intact, there’s no way it wasn’t a fucking free for all at this point.
He bursted through the front door and stopped in his tracks seeing the blood splattered floors and walls. His eyes immediately landed on you, your foot on the neck of a woman and your gun pointed down at her. He quickly realized she was the last woman alive at this point, everyone else in the room watching as you were about to make your very first kill. Kai’s heart nearly stopped as he saw the way you smiled down at the woman. It wasn’t you. He couldn’t let you do this, he wouldn’t. But before he could do it say anything, a loud gunshot was heard causing him to flinch away. When he looked back, the woman was dead with a bullet through her face, so brutally killed. And you stood with blood splattered against your clothes, your arms, and your face.
He couldn’t bring himself to speak, so silence filled the vicinity. The plan was completed, you made sure of it. Kai only watched as you removed your foot from the dead woman’s throat and stepped back, putting your gun back into your waistband. Everyone else looked over to Kai, standing in shock as they’ve never witnessed you murder before. Kai’s eyes remained on you, watching you make your way to him as if you hadn’t just killed someone.
“I’m not a liability.” You smiled as you stopped in front of him. He stayed silent, his eyes on the dead woman, unbelieving that it actually happened. His eyes flickered to you when he felt your hand on his cheek. He looked at you like he was genuinely scared, but you only smiled more and leaned in, placing a soft and quick kiss on his lips. When you pulled back, his eyes fluttered open in frustration. “I’ll be in the van.” You patted his cheek gently and walked past him. “What do we do from here? Just leave them?” You asked in genuine wonder since this was your first time joining them like this, your hand turning the knob of the front door and opening it. “Let others clean up the mess—“
A loud gunshot was heard causing everyone in the room to cower down, looking around at where the shot came from. Kai’s eyes instantly looked back at you, his hand covering his head like the others, and he felt the wind knocked out of him. You stood in the doorway, your hand over your abdomen. His eyes watched as you moved your hand away, showing them covered in blood — your own blood.
“Go!” Kai demanded at the others who instantly split up, leaving from every entrance they could as everyone realized the police had shown up and they were the ones to fire, hitting you as soon as you opened the door. Kai ran to you, grabbing your waist and putting you hand over his shoulder and as quickly as he possibly could leading you away from the front door and out the back.
You allowed him to drag you, your feet attempting to move as fast as his. You were in shock, you knew you’d been shot, but it hadn’t quite set it yet. “You gotta run with me baby, please, come on” Kai begged and your adrenaline instantly kicked in, not allowing you to feel any pain and only help yourself get away from the danger. You ran with Kai still holding you to him as fast as both your legs could carry you, down the alleyways and towards your home. You could feel it getting harder to breathe, a hole through your stomach that your hands were clutching to to stop any bleeding, but you continued running with him.
As you were about to cross a street, a vehicle stopped in front of you causing you both to nearly stumble backwards. You silently cursed before realizing it was the cults van and they had gotten to it in time. The back doors swung open and Harrison waved you guys back with a loud “come on!”
Kai wasted no time in practically carrying you and throwing you both inside, Harrison closing the doors as the van sped away, wheels squealing against the tarred road.
You sat yourself on the floor leaning your back against the bench, moving your hands from your stomach to reveal puddles of blood in both.
“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck” Kai cursed, his hands immediately taking your place on the wound and holding it. You leaned your head back against the bench and began uncontrollably laughing. Kai looked at your face with so much concern and confusion it only fueled your laughter.
“It’s… it’s not funny.. really..” you said between shallow breaths and laughs, “it’s just.. my first kill and I get shot by the po po.” You shook your head your laughter increasing causing you to flinch from the pain it caused. Kai however didn’t think it was funny at all. “It’s not.. it’s not my fault. None of us knew.. they were there” you defended yourself, beginning to feel like you were in fact a liability and so badly not wanting Kai and Meadow to be right.
“No.. baby. It’s not your fault.” Kai agreed, wrapping someone’s shirt around the wound to attempt keeping as little blood from gushing out. You quickly felt the pain begin, your eyes squeezing shut and your arms wrapping around yourself to put more pressure on the area. Kai’s hand firmly grasped either side of your face, making you look at him as he leaned his forehead against yours. “You did good. You did so good.” He nodded quickly, encouraging you. You smiled weakly before another burst of pain radiated throughout your body, causing your eyes to squeeze shut again. You quickly realized that your body was going to fail you at any moment, that you were going to die at the hands of your own stupidity.
“Hey hey! You gotta keep your eyes open okay? We’re almost home, we’ll get that bullet sound taken care of and you’ll be good as new.. okay? Please just-just keep your eyes open. Look at me baby” you finally opened your eyes again to keep them on your boyfriend, and your heart quickly sped up at the sincerity his eyes held. There you saw him again, the old Kai. He was there, completely, holding on to you, begging you.
Your eyes scanned over his face, his tear stained cheeks, his scared expression. He was so scared of losing you that it brought out the man you so desperately yearned for. If you knew almost dying would bring him back to you, you would’ve got shot a long time ago.
“There you are..” you said quietly, smiling up at him as your hand found his cheek and caressed it softly. His face leaned into your hand for comfort, placing a kiss on your wrist. He knew what you meant, but he didn’t have time to acknowledge it. He was open just for you, just how you needed him to be.
“I love you baby” he whispered, your nose sucking in a deep breath at the beautiful words you’ve been dying to hear. Your eyes closed in pure love, pulling his face closer to you. You could feel him shaking against you but at this point, you were just cold and you wanted to feel him close. “I love you so much baby. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you enough. Please just stay with me.” He continued begging for your life. All you cared about at this moment was holding on to the boy you fell in love with. You held him to you while your remained closed, focusing on the blissful feeling. Eventually, you passed out from the blood loss and you were sure you had died.
But at some point, you came to. Your eyes fluttering open and landing on the ceiling fan above you that was spinning around and around. You blinked a few times as your blurred vision cleared, looking around you. You were placed in your bed, only a sports bra on and some shorts, white wrap around your torso. You could see the blood stain seeping through at the bullet site and your head raced back over the past event that took place, remembering the bullet piercing through you and holding onto Kai who was begging you to fight for your life. You truly believed you were going to die, that you did die, but here you were, in your dark room laying in bed, alone.
Your eyebrows pushed together as you sat up, flinching at the slight pain it caused and swinging your legs carefully over the side of the bed. You sat for a moment collecting yourself before you stood up your feet, holding the bedside table for balance. God, this fucking hurt, you thought. But you needed to see Kai, you needed to know what’s happened.
You strutted to the door slowly and carefully, opening it and leaking out. You saw no one and heard nothing. You carefully made your way downstairs where you still saw no one, finally making your way to the basement door and opening it.
“Kai?” You called down, not wanting to have to go back down stairs.
You heard movement from below before your boyfriend peaked around the corner, looking up at you. You took notice in his hair that was pulled back in a bun and his white long sleeve on. You weren’t used to seeing him in light clothing, and his hair out of his face.
“Stay there, I’ll be right up.” He nodded before disappearing from your sight. You let out a breath and turned, walking to the counter to lean on it while you waited for your boyfriend who emerged only moments later, by your side within seconds.
You looked up at him, his hands holding your waist as gentle as possible. He gazed into your eyes for some time before blinking back the glassy look in his eyes and placing a long tender kiss on your forehead. Your eyes closed as you leaned into him, a comfortable silence remaining, no words being exchanged.
Finally, you felt him push you back from him gently so he could look down at you again, you back up at him.
“I’m sorry.” He apologized, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion on what for. “For not telling you I love you enough. For making you reckless with your life. I’m sorry.”
You swallowed hard as your own tears formed in your eyes, blinking them free onto your cheeks. You were reckless with your life, you felt like if Kai couldn’t speak of his love to you, that there was no point in being safe. Your heart ached now at his grief and sincerity.
“I love you Kai.” You whispered, not looking at him and instead at your hands. You weren’t sure why you felt bad, but you did.
“Look at me.” He insisted, taking your chin between his fingers and helping you life your head to meet his eyes. “I will tell you every single day how much I love you. I never want to make you question my love again. I can’t live without you by my side, I wont. I learned my lesson. I swear to you, you’ll never go a day without hearing it again.” He held your eyes with his for a moment before you nodded, his arms pulling you up and into his arms. You felt his hand smooth over the back of your head, brushing your hair down your back.
For the first time in years, he was back, he was here. And you could only pray to God that this time, he would stay.
Tags: @evanpetersmood @witchsbitchestime @demxnicprxncess @yes-divine-ruler @shjjpm @evanpsrealwife @iruzias @jangsuzchap @quicksilversg1rl @submissiveforahsmen @angelmenace @lovelizzie-blog1 @justa19 @daylas-life @simp4petermaximoff @totta69
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winters8child · 4 months ago
Text
It´s been a long, long time
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Chapter 45
The three of us were back in the car again, heading to Camp Lehigh in New Jersey. The familiar sights along the route stirred up a storm of emotions within me; that place had molded me into who I was now—for better or worse. I sat in the front seat beside Natasha, her hands confidently gripping the steering wheel, while Steve lounged in the back, his shield propped up next to him. He had noticed my flushed face when we returned and immediately asked what had happened. Natasha couldn’t help herself and giggled before blurting out, "Your girlfriend is just flustered because she kissed a girl and she liked it."
Steve's jaw dropped, his eyes widening in surprise as he looked at me with a puzzled expression. "What does that even mean?"
I shot Natasha a half-hearted glare, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks again. "We just needed a distraction, and it clearly worked, so..."
Steve's shoulders relaxed a bit, but his face turned a deep shade of red, likely unable to shake the mental image. He cleared his throat, pursed his lips, and asked, "Uh, so... you really liked it?"
Natasha burst out laughing, the sound echoing in the car. "It's a song title, Steve. Don't get worked up about it. It was all pretend... sometimes that's what you have to do... play a part." Her voice took on a serious tone as she finished speaking, her eyes briefly meeting mine before returning to the road.
The mood in the car shifted palpably. Steve looked at Natasha, his eyebrows knitting together in concern. "You know, it's kind of hard to trust someone when you don't know who that someone really is."
It sounded like he didn't trust her, but I didn't share that sentiment. I knew about Natasha's past—her time with the KGB and her eventual defection—but I had no reason to distrust her. I would even go as far as to call her a friend.
"Yeah..." Natasha's voice was tinged with sadness as she tried to focus on the road ahead. Her usually confident demeanor seemed to waver, the weight of Steve's words hanging heavily in the air. The rest of the ride was spent in heavy silence, each of us lost in our thoughts.
The road stretched before us, a seemingly endless path leading back to a place filled with memories and ghosts of the past. I glanced at Natasha, her eyes fixed on the horizon, and felt a pang of empathy. She had been through so much, and despite her past, she had repeatedly proven herself. Steve's doubt felt like an unwelcome shadow over her.
We arrived soon after, parking the car with a screech in front of the rusted fence. "This is it?" Steve asked, his face a mask of solemn determination, his shield gleaming in hand. "The file came from these coordinates," Natasha replied, sliding her phone into her back pocket. Steve turned to me, his brows knitted in concern. "So did we."
The place was a relic of the past, abandoned long ago, haunted by the ghosts of forgotten memories.
"This is a dead end," Natasha called out, her voice tinged with frustration. "Zero heat signatures, zero waves, not even a whisper of radio." My shoulders sagged under the weight of disappointment; it seemed our journey had led us to nothing. The old wounds from S.H.I.E.L.D. reopened, reminding me of what they had stolen, what they had turned me into. Steve, sensing my turmoil, gave my hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze. "Wait in the car if you like," he offered softly.
I shook my head firmly. We were in this together. Steve furrowed his brows as he looked at something farther back. "What is it?" Natasha asked, noticing his expression. "Army regulations forbid storing munitions within 500 yards of the barracks. This building is in the wrong place," he answered, taking hastened steps toward the doors.
With a powerful swing of his shield, he shattered the chained lock, and we descended into the dark unknown. My hands grew clammy with nervousness, and I sighed in relief when Natasha flicked on the lights. A massive S.H.I.E.L.D. logo adorned the back wall, the room filled with deserted desks. We wandered around, uncertain of what we were looking for, when Steve noticed a draft coming from between two bookshelves.
"If you're already working in a secret office," Steve said, pulling apart the shelves, "why do you need to hide the elevator?" Natasha swiftly activated the elevator code with her phone, and the doors pinged open. We descended in the creaking, groaning elevator, the sounds amplifying the tension in the air. The room that greeted us was dimly lit, dominated by a huge screen in the center. I squinted, unsure of what we were looking at.
"This can't be the data point; this technology is ancient," Natasha remarked with a smirk. Everything around us roared to life when she plugged the drive into a device that looked modern in comparison to all the other tech here, it looked out of place. An electronic voice emanated from the computer, asking, "Initiate system?" Natasha deftly typed "Yes" and, with a mischievous grin, quipped in a deep voice, "Shall we play a game?"
"It's from a horror movie," she explained, noticing my confused expression. The camera above the screen whirred to life, scanning our faces. "Rogers, Steven, born 1918." It turned to me. "Barnes, Loretta, born 1919." The cold, mechanical voice echoed in the dimly lit room. It swiveled again. "Romanoff, Natalia Alianovna, born 1984."
"It's some kind of recording," Natasha speculated, her eyes narrowing. "I am not a recording, Fraulein," the voice responded, almost sounding offended. "I may not be the man I was when the Captain took me prisoner in 1945, but I am," it droned on, the timbre of the voice eerie and disembodied.
Natasha's eyes darted between us. "You know this thing?" she asked, her voice tense. My heart sank as I realized who it was. This was Arnim Zola, the twisted German scientist Steve had captured with the help of the Howling Commandos. The mission that had led to Bucky's death.
The room felt colder, the air thick with the weight of old memories. Steve's voice cut through the tension as he paced, explaining Zola's history, his shadow falling on the walls like a restless ghost. Zola's mechanical voice droned on, a relic from a dark past refusing to stay buried. They had risked their lives to capture this monster, and yet here he was, no longer alive but still causing havoc, his presence a malignant echo in this forsaken place.
I tried to drown out the noise—the hum of the old machinery, Steve's urgent explanations, Zola's unsettling voice. The room around me seemed to pulse with a life of its own, every shadow hiding a fragment of the past. It was as if the walls themselves remembered the horrors that had transpired, bearing silent witness to the atrocities Zola had committed.
Steve stopped pacing, his eyes meeting mine, filled with the weight of shared history and unspoken fears. Even in this time, Zola's influence lingered, a reminder that some evils never truly die.
My head snapped up at Steve’s voice, cutting through the tense silence. "Hydra died with Red Skull," he declared. But the response from the screen was chillingly calm: "Cut off one head, two more shall take its place." The voice continued, revealing how, after the war, Hydra had stealthily infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D., subverting it to their own ends. They had been secretly orchestrating crises, fueling conflicts, and manipulating history to fit their twisted vision of order.
The screen flickered with haunting images of Hydra’s operations—black-and-white photos of covert meetings, masked operatives, and shadowy figures in darkened rooms. One masked man appeared repeatedly, a sinister emblem of Hydra’s reach, but his exact motives for targeting me remained unclear.
"That's impossible. S.H.I.E.L.D. would have stopped you," Natasha’s voice trembled, her eyes wide with disbelief. We were all visibly shaken by this horrifying revelation. The screen’s voice was eerily indifferent as it responded, showing us grim newspaper headlines announcing the deaths of Howard Stark, his wife, and Nick Fury. "Accidents happen," it intoned flatly.
The screen continued its grim narrative: "Hydra created a world so chaotic that humanity is finally ready to trade its freedom for security."
The weight of the revelation hit me like a physical blow. Was it all for nothing? The ancient evil we thought we had vanquished had merely been lying in wait, resurfacing to bring the world crashing down seventy years later. My head spun with the enormity of the betrayal, and my heart pounded furiously in my chest.
"We won, Captain. Your death amounts to the same as your life. A zero-sum," the voice echoed with a sinister edge, almost as if it were grinning, reveling in its own deception. Steve’s fist connected with the screen in a burst of shattering glass, but the mechanical voice persisted, now emanating from a new screen that flickered to life.
The voice continued to drone on about something called Project Insight—a mysterious algorithm it had created—though it refused to divulge any specifics. Suddenly, the door behind us slammed shut with a resounding clang, sealing our fate. Natasha's phone began emitting urgent beeps. "Guys, we’ve got a bogey. Short-range ballistic. Thirty seconds tops."
Panic crept into Steve's voice as he demanded, "Who fired it?" Natasha’s face turned ashen as she replied, "S.H.I.E.L.D."
Without hesitation, Steve pried open the grates of a nearby underground shaft. We jumped into the darkness just as the building erupted in flames, the fire roaring fiercely behind us. Steve shielded Natasha and me with his body, his shield raised in a desperate attempt to protect us as the structure above us crumbled, sending debris cascading down. The heat and chaos were overwhelming, and I could feel the intense rush of adrenaline as we plummeted into the unknown depths below.
Next Chapter
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castlebyersafterdark · 16 days ago
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I don't know! Why am I like this!!
hehehe ok firstly, shoutout to the peeps who can't watch panels due to the celebs, i can't relate but i feel for you! i struggle to watch them because of the awkwardness of the fans instead haha - awkward questions, silly questions, repetitive questions, people who burst into tears when they come to their turn. im sorry i just find that hard to watch lol! maybe its my inner journalist itching to be there and ask the real q's. or maybe im too british! pull yourself together, man! (said in a stiff military accent lmao) just kidding.
but as someone who used to find it harder than i do now to engage in this kind of content, my unsolicited advice that may not work for you is to really focus on being interested in what they have to say or are trying to say and what that might mean. then your brain kind of cuts out/dismisses the umming and ahhing, just sees it as a side effect instead of a tick or annoyance. obviously some speakers are worse than others but i honestly find most people in ST to be ok speakers, with the worst perhaps being finn. the others are all amenable and confident public speakers. i get the finn angst, it's never comfortable to see someone else who is uncomfortable... but he's fascinating, so i try to treat him as a fascinating person to observe when the empathy kicks in too hard and makes me want to hide lol.
which leads me to say vinny I AM HUGGING YOU RIGHT NOW! can't believe people were mean about you crying when another started crying - this is literally pure kind empathy at work and you are such a dreamboat for that. me and my whole family are the same, so i feel lucky to have had that experience. actually we used to be told not to cry as kids, only because my mum knew it would set her off too (she was already crying as she said it haha).
Yeah - good advice!! I really want to listen to what these actors have to say so it's a major power through moment every time!! And yeah, also not saying it to be mean but it's the fans primarily, but people can't help the reaction they have, and I know I'd fuck it up if I tried to ask something in public, which is why I never would. Actually, I'd try to be really funny and charming and it would fall completely flat and make me just seem like an ass so also, would never approach the mic at a con hahaha.
It's the same with live music or theater - I have this sinking fear in the pit of my stomach sometimes where as good as the show is, god if something goes wrong on stage and they flub lines and have trouble recovering or seriously mess-up a song or have a mishap, I would be dying inside and probably have a silent internal panic attack myself and wish I was anywhere else!! Get a grip, man, I am saying to myself!!!
And... thank you for the kind words. It's ok, I've manged to come out on the other side fine and unchanged, with people in my life who've made it known it's ok to be emotional, and be too much, and to feel deeply. And there's nothing wrong with being a guy who tears up a lot. (Part of what draws me to Will - I love him and I love his sensitivity and the way he feels so deeply. I've never seen a character like him before. Why when people complain about him being a crybaby it's a major 'shut up and let him be' moment from me! And Noah seems to also be similar so I feel kinship with that lovely guy). Listen. I grew up with 4 older brothers so. The little gay baby is my lot in life and it's totally fine now, but there was a lot of enduring bullshit growing up and breaking away from terrible friends and then finding people who let you be you. That's the goal in life. Find people who you can support and who will support you in turn, all sides. ❤️❤️❤️
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badwolfoncomingstorm · 1 month ago
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Let's talk about Mean Girls
Ok, look. Admittedly I have trauma regarding the original Mean Girls movie. I was in high school in the early 2000s as this movie came out, so I was forced to watch that movie so many times I grew to despise it. I thought every character was a terrible person (and still do), and my high school experience was so far removed from that movie I couldn't even begin to relate.
Fast-forward to about a year or two ago when I first experienced the music from Mean Girls the Musical. While nothing earth shattering, it is admittedly WAY better than one would expect from Mean Girls the Musical. I am particularly fond of "I See Stars," "I'd Rather Be Me," and "Fearless."
Now I have to admit, I have not seen the musical. I had tickets to go see it, but when the day came, I was too disincentivized to actually see it because of my hate for the movie. I have seen some clips on YouTube, but that's it.
So when they made Mean Girls the Musical the Movie (lol), I checked it out from my local library (Go libraries!!! They have all sorts of cool shits like DVDs of movies you kind of want to see, but refuse to spend any money on. Support you local libraries!!). Here are some of my thoughts.
It's cool they got the Broadway Regina to reprise her role. I wish more of the stars were from the Broadway cast, particularly Barrett Wilbert Weed (ugh her voice is so good.) Auliʻi Cravalho is a pretty good replacement though. All the singers are great. The acting's pretty decent too.
2. Lol, those are supposed to be High Schoolers??????
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(The Part where I rant about songs since it is a musical after all)
3. First, I really miss Fearless. I think you lose a lot of Gretchen's character when you lose that song. You also lose a lot of the message of being, well, Fearless, and not being afraid to be yourself.
4. The loss of the song "More is Always Better." I do think this is another loss of character this time for Cady and Aaron. It's one of the turning points for her and well, frankly gives Aaron any character at all besides being an object of desire who is apparently decent at math. Finally, it gives us the set-up for "I See Stars." That song makes way less sense without this one. (Cut "Sexy" instead if you need to cut a song since that one has absolutely no plot or character relevance. So Karen is dumb and hot. We knew that. But no, we'd rather have hot 20 somethings skimpily clad dancing sexily than deeper character development 🙄)
5. The adaptation of "I'd Rather be Me." Oof. This song is the very first one I heard on the Broadway soundtrack, and is basically the main reason I looked in to the show at all. It's a REAL banger, and Barrett Wilbert Weed KILLS it. This is basically my life motto and I can listen to this song on repeat for a long time. It's a power song about the power of just being yourself and not being afraid of what others think of you. And the movie does it.... weird? Look, I get that it's a movie and you can't just have the character stand there and sing to the camera, but this is a song by Janis to the girls of the high school. And by the end, they are singing with her, agreeing with her message. But here, she's only with the girls for the first verse. Then she's just running around singing to the camera while barging through random classrooms for no reason. And in the movie, she's singing it to be petty and bitchy, rather than the self-confidence of "I don't need you and I won't stoop to your level, and I am perfectly ok with just being myself, no matter what." I highly recommend you check out this video. It's a much better portrayal of this song.
youtube
6. Ok, "I See Stars." Like, "I'd Rather Be Me," it starts off great with Cady using it to apologize to her classmates and tell them how beautiful they all are. But then she... stops? Just stops singing the song and some rando takes over singing it in the background???? That song is like the core message of your story. It's about how EVERYONE is a beautiful and unique. And it culminates with the whole school joining in for a powerful moment of acceptance of both yourself and others around you. Instead, you get some lame dialog and Janis and Damian shoe-horning in the message of "Be Nice" at the end. Just let them sing the song!!! It does such a better job of conveying the message without beating you condescendingly over the head with it.
7. (Ok, it was fun that they got Tina Fey and Tim Meadows back. Also a Lindsay Lohan cameo. Nice homage to the original).
I get why a lot of the changes were made. It's hard to adapt a Broadway production into film and I'm sure a lot of these things were cut for time. I know I have trauma surrounding this story, but honestly I would say skip it and just go check out the soundtrack of the Broadway version instead. There's basically nothing new added to the story with this adaptation and while I appreciate the ability to check out some version of the musical without a show needing to be playing in my city and needing to buy tickets, but honestly, I didn't have that good of time. I was playing on my phone the whole time and whenever I did look up for a song I love, I was just disappointed.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk lol
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floralcrematorium · 1 year ago
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thinking about Arthur as a father figure and music...
in my eyes, Arthur and Alfred's father/son;older brother/younger brother relationship can be described as someone who didn't want to recognize their child as an individual in their own right. Alfred wants independence, he wants the ability to make his own choices, and above all he wants to be his own person. regardless of nationverse or human AUs, I think Arthur is a terribly controlling parent. He cares both in a way that is doting but in another way where his own identity is forged from having that power over Alfred
"Cat's In The Cradle" by The Relentless and "icarus" by luvbug remind me so much of their relationship
"Cat's In The Cradle" applied in the context of their relationship is how how unavailable Arthur was for Alfred and their relationship is full of empty promises. Somehow in the end, they became very similar people, but that didn't come without the sacrifice of lowkey abandonment. The song is bittersweet and is very much a "like father like son" kind of story. Alfred's biggest role model let him down time and time again and his strive for independence through the natural ways of adolescence as well as Arthur's neglect reflect that
"icarus" is the aftermath of Alfred's independence (nationverse literally being American Independence whereas human AU it's more just a low contact relationship). Like the myth the song comes from, Arthur views the result of their relationship as tragic. Arthur tried to play god with an empire and in creating someone just like him, he ended up losing Alfred due to his own greed. I was initially tempted to tag this song as his relationship with Matthew, but I think their relationship is very different to Arthur and Alfred's relationship. I can't quite word what I mean, but I think some of the lyrics that remind me of Alfred in particular are the following:
• "When we were flying I felt so alive / I soared through the air just like the divine / I felt like a God, and I know you did too" • "I tried to play god and I payed with my son" • "It was supposed to be us but now it's just me / My baby / My Icarus is gone"
I'm not quite sure how to describe Arthur and Mattie's relationship. I want to figure out what songs best fit their relationship as well. Alfred was the failed golden child who was willing to rebel. Matthew is who's left to watch the broken remains of their father. He's not the golden child and for a long time he's used by Arthur to compensate for the loss of the other brother
i don't write nationverse -- my favorite dynamic to explore in my human AUs are how Alfred is alone. he was the golden child, but due to a variety of things, he falls from grace. he's loud and pretends to be so great to compensate for his unspoken sibling rivalry and difficult relationship with his father. i like confident Matthew, but I don't think he's a bully to Alfred in any way. I think Matthew has his own issues too, especially considering the fight between Arthur and Francis, but Matthew is the quiet and reliable one who had to find his own success. both brothers have daddy issues in different ways which constantly put them against one another
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mayday-jd · 1 year ago
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ehehe... ehehehehe... AHAHAHA
hi I just watched the 6 first episodes of fionna and cake (on max... totally) AND OMG I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE WINTER KING EPISODE
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warning for spoilers also I'm probably not gonna say anything too deep and stuff I'm basically saying what happened, stuff I've heard and some personal comments
alr now that that's how of the way...
I LOVED THIS EPISODE SO MUCH I WAS LITERALLY KICKING AND FLAPPING AROUND IN MY BLANKET WHEN IT CAME ON
does that mean what mainly motivated me watching fionna and cake was the winter king episode?? noooo... (lies)
now let's get into this episode fr
I LOVED THE WINTER KING which really isn't that surprising I think I mean I've been seeing him literally EVERYWHERE on my feed in all my apps
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his silly and whimsy have charmed me
ALSO HE'S VOICED BY BRIAN DAVID GILBERT LITERALLY *THE* BDG ARE YOU KIDDING ME???
the universe of the winter king is very interesting imo like you meet him and you could think "oh this is a universe where simon didn't let himself go batshit crazy from the crown" and then you get to the song
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the thing about the song– which bdg KILLED the vocals of he has an amazing voice I can see why they wanted him to voice the winter king and I also follow the person who animated this on insta (@ smallbuanimation)– is that the winter king doesn't really explain how he beat the crown's power/madness
he's generally really vague about it saying stuff like "through sheer force of will" or "hard? it's as simple as manifesting your own reality" along with "and I conquered the crown" which wow dude didn't know you were that great of a motivational speaker but that doesn't explain jack shit
and compared to simon the winter king acts off like when simon mentions if there's a betty which could be general curiousity or because winter king is such a cheery, happy guy compared to sad, depressed loser that is simon (I swear I love him) and the winter king just LAUGHS. IN. HIS. FACE.
"betty?.. OH! THE DEAD ONE!" DUDE????
and just back on the winter king acting different than simon
he also comments about how when simon gets the duplicate version of the winter king's crown he can make an ice betty since he seems to upset about her not existing in this universe (his included) but then says that he was joking and how that would be unethical WHEN HE LITERALLY MADE AN ICE MARCELINE?? LIKE YOU CAN SEE HER PUDDLE OF WATER WHEN THE WINTER KINGDOM MELTS AT THE END
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like he's so cheery and confident compared to our favorite loser and miserable old man simon which you would think it's an affect of the crown (which it is) but it's still cuz the winter doesn't act completely like ice king since ice king wants to be loved to an obsessive degree which winter king lacks and he's frankly a little dumb 😭
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the winter king is like all the good parts of both simon and the ice king so smart, sane but confident and "radical" as he called himself (hehehe I love this guy)
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which is just really interesting since for basically the first half of the episode before candy queen comes in (who I'll talk about more later) the winter king is portrayed as the "better" version of simon AND ice king like simon is just fascinated at how functional and level headed winter king seems to be and winter ALSO seems to think of himself as a better even superior version of simon and ice king which is why he's kind of insistant on simon getting a version of HIS crown
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romirola · 1 year ago
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Hi, Romi 💕
May I request 3 and 18 for Sweetheart for the Character Ask game?
Happy timezone 💖
-Lexi Sun ☀️
From this ask game!
Thank you so much for this ask, Lexi! You know I jump at the chance to talk about Sweetheart!
3. A song that reminds me of them
Hm, this is a tough one... I think I'll go with "Fabulous, Baby!" from Sister Act.
18. How do you think they were as a kid?
I think Sweetheart was just as they are now: intense, determined, energetic, optimistic, outgoing. They come from a large, loud, loving family. They valued their education and performed well in school. They were involved in lots of different activities, which they enjoyed and even carried a few through to their adulthood. They were confident (sometimes, too confident- maybe even a bit of a show-off) and conscientious, taking pride in being responsible, capable, and finding ways to create leadership opportunities for themselves. When things were difficult, they were pretty quick to anger and easily hold a grudge (silently, of course, because they quickly learned to associate emotional outbursts with weakness), though even as a kid, they tried hard to let go of resentment. It's a constant battle for them to maintain the fierce fire within even as they want to be a force of kindness in the world. Something that also seems relevant to this question (or maybe I'm reaching for a chance to reiterate this lol) is that I think Sweetheart's parents are both freelancers, meaning that Sweetheart could've been any magical specialty. Their family has a lot of magical specialties, and treats everyone with the same respect, love, and support. Oddly enough, it was Sweetheart who was massively disappointed to learn that they were a stealth. They didn't understand how someone who gravitated towards the spotlight would ever be able to make good use out of powers geared towards pretending they don't exist. Thus, as a child, Sweetheart spent a lot of time trying to grapple with how to accept themselves and their powers as integrative forces, not inherent contradictions.
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