#computers don't make you gay

[somechubbynerd]

Is there really a correlation between being trans and being a software developer?

There's a lot of alt-culture wrapped up in the software dev area because writing programs leaves you with a lot of free time, since the whole point of "software" is automation of tasks. If you're good, you aren't spending most of your job time doing much other than tinkering and thinking. Once I had free time to consider my identity actively, I comprehended that I was not the gender I was born with, and my identity has been slowly evolving ever since as I explore myself in new avenues.

[hercarisntyours]

i want there to be like a cybertronian stan twitter or smth and half of it is just people thirsting over optimus and the other half is like, stan twitter shit

[pa-pa-plasma]

fucking hate fighting with people's who's main strategy is straight up lying & screaming & crying until you give up trying to even attempt communicating. just coming up with the most batshit, insane lies they can think of to slander you & they literally just don't fucking stop, like persistence predator shit except they're just doing it to avoid having to take responsibility. what the fuck is going on in that kind of person's brain

[thedreadvampy]

interviewing for my manager's job tomorrow at 11 and like I KNOW I don't need to worry about it bc a) she is sufficiently committed to getting me this job that she's already halfway through handing over her work to me and b) tbh it's a bit of a poison chalice so even if I don't get the job the silver lining is I won't have to have the job.

so I shouldn't be nervous

but the truth is I just truly fucking hate interviews. 0/10 just the Worst for those of us who aren't. the most outwardly professional

(my work persona is somewhere between Susan In Accounting Is A Goth and He's A Loose Cannon Chief But He Gets The Job Done. as far as I can tell people tolerate the fact that I show up to work an hour later than everyone else wearing fishnets and shirt full of holes and swear my way through the day because I'm Just That Good At My Job. call me Harry duBois with how professional and together my demeanour isn't. I am universally beloved.)

(my colleague told me today to just walk into the interview and tell our boss "if I don't get the job Fundraising say they're going on strike" and our other colleague jumped up and was like "YEAH WE WILL REJECT ANY OTHER MANAGER. WE JUST WON'T SPEAK TO THEM." my boss has already said the only way she's offering any support at all to her cover during her maternity leave is if it's me, and otherwise she'll be rooting for them to fail. I truly feel cared about and appreciated in my team ❤️ Feel terrible for anyone who does beat me out for the role though, there's an uphill battle.)

[cripplekin]

You ever get so entirely normal about a song. Like yes this song is about coping with your childhood best friend dying in a tragic accident but also it's not. to me <3.

[fox-guardian]

[ID: An eight page digital comic featuring Sam, Celia, and Alice from The Magnus Protocol on a gray background. The characters are all colored with a single color each. Sam is red, Celia is green, and Alice is pink. Sam is a fat Arab man with short curly dark hair, a mustache, and a small goatee, and he is wearing small black earrings, a cardigan, a turtleneck, trousers and loafers. Celia is a taller Korean woman with short dark hair and she is wearing rectangular glasses, piercings including an industrial piercing, an x-shaped earring, and snakebites, a button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a vest, trousers, and black wrist cuffs. Alice is an even taller white woman with long fluffy hair and crooked teeth, and she is wearing cat eye glasses, three pairs of earrings, snakebites, a flannel shirt, a hoodie tied around her waist, a patchwork skirt, bracelets, and a lanyard.

Sam and Celia are stood at a table covered in papers. Celia urgently turns to Sam. Celia: Alice is coming! She can't catch us researching, we need a diversion, QUICK! How can we make her think we're not doing what we're doing? Sam, shrugging really hard: UHHHH she thinks I have a crush on you?? Celia, sweating, turns back to where Alice is coming from, panicked, and turns back to Sam, shrugging and reaching for him. Celia smiling a bit manically: Yeah, that'll work, sure!

Sam, with Celia's hands grabbing his cardigan: Wait whaAAAA- He is pulled out of frame. Alice walks in: Hey Sam, working hard or hardly woOOOAA She leans on the doorframe as she holds a hand to her chest in shock.

The next panel is rendered with soft pink shadows and "shoujo sparkles" in the now pink background. Sam is sitting on the table holding onto Celia, whose face is buried in his neck as she wraps one arm around his back and the other holds up one of his legs under his knee. Neither of their faces are visible. The rest of the page fades back to gray from there. Sam and Celia look over at Alice, hair ruffled, Sam is now blushing. Sam: ALICE!! He pushes Celia away and they look at each other for a moment, panicked. Sam: It's- .... exactly what it looks like! Celia: Aw, you've caught us! He rests his hands on her shoulders and they both look in opposite directions as though embarrassed. Celia is also blushing lightly. There are red and green neon signs pointing to them reading "Totally Ham-Slammin'" and "GAY! (in an M/F way)" respectively.

Alice looks to be in shock with a vacant expression and a computer pop up over her forehead reading "Alice.exe has stopped responding". In the next panel she is fine again and back to smirking. Alice: WOW SAM, didn't know you had it in you! Now I'm no snitch, so I didn't see anything, BUT- you lovebirds should cut it out before Gwen catches you. Celia and Sam look at each other anxiously, cheeks pressed together as she speaks. Alice: You KNOW she'd tell Lena. Celia, pulling back and smoothing her hair out: Oh, for sure. Sam: Th-Thanks, Alice. Alice: Don't mention it! I'll give you crazy kids a minute to straighten up, TA-TA~ She waves as she leaves.

Sam and Celia listen to her steps fade before going "phew" and finally pulling away from each other, now holding hands at an arms distance. Celia: You alright? That was kinda sudden.... Sam: It's fine! Just a bit caught off guard. Celia: I can't believe she actually bought all of that! Sam: Me either! Works for me, though.

Celia: Did you want to get down- Sam, pulling away suddenly, blushing again: NO! He crosses his legs and looks away sheepishly, scratching his head. Sam: I wanna stay here another minute or so.... Celia, concerned: You sure you're alright? Sam: Yeah! Just, er.... Celia looks at him, confused. Sam, blushing increasingly harder: Ahem. (He folds his hands in his lap politely.) I am not immune to being thrown on a table. Celia, smiling and politely stepping away: AH! .... Noted~

She walks away casually, still smiling. Celia: I'll give you a minute to collect yourself. Sam, head down in his lap, embarrassed: Thanks.... He looks up after she leaves. Sam: Wait. He straightens up, slightly panicked, face entirely red. Sam: What do you mean by "NOTED"?!

end ID]

~~~~

i am SO glad this episode didn't entirely debunk the silly headcanon that birthed this comic. initially i wasn't convinced sam actually had a crush so i made this like "well if he didn't before, HE DOES NOW" so.... here's this silly comic thing <3 i just think they're neat <3

[petew21-blog]

Friends for life

This Zack, my best childhood friend. When we were kids, we were basically inspereable. We spent so much time together. We slept over each tohers houses. Even better was the fact that our moms were best frinds. So not only they spend so much time together, but so did we. But that was 6 years ago. Everything changed when my dad died. Zack was there for me, but over time we grew apart. I had to help out my mum with my two sisters and she had to get another job to get enough money for us. Zack's mom on the other hand got divorced and found a new boyfriend. Who I heard didn't really get on well with Zack.

Me and Zack talked from time to time, but it was mainly superficial. Zack was now a very well respected guy in the school. He was always into sports. But now he was a swimmer, basketball and a football player as well. I don't know where he got all that time and energy. Even if we saw each other in the classroom we just smiled or waved at each other. Maybe even this very tiny friendship was the reason why no bullies dared to touch me. Not that Zack would every bully anyone, but if he knew that the other guys bullied someone, he always stood up for that person and ended it. And the bullies even apologized sometimes. That's how respected he was.

So yeah Zack's a jock and I am a classic nerd. Or maybe not classic. I don't really have much time to play games on the computer because of my job, but when I have some spare time I read comic books. So yeah, that makes me a nerd I suppose. And I do quite well at school too. Maybe not the PE, I kinda suck at that, but I get by.

Present time

Me and several other classmates were assigned to start decorating the halls for upcoming prom. Most of my classmates were really excited for that, but not me. I didn't have anyone to go with. Not anyone I wanted to atleast. Ok, I'll say it. I am gay, which complicates things a bit. And the person I would really like to go to prom with is Zack. But that will never happen. Zack is 100% striaght and it would totally ruin his reputation in the school.

But that doesn't stop me from obssessing about him. I saw him a few times in the locker rooms which gave me a pretty consistent image of how he changed over the years. He was pretty much the same Zack I grew up with, but I bet that his junk is much bigger than I remember. Truth be told, Zack was the first (and only) person who I had any sexual experience with. I know it sounds sus, but he only wanted to experiment jerking each other off as most boys do at their younger years. Back then I was really puzzled and didn't know what to do. Now I just wish I could go back to that moment once again.

I was one of the few remaining students. The rest headed to the shops to get their dresses and suits. I told them to leave and that I would finish it by myself, cause I wasn't planning on going anyway.

I entered the gym to get a ladder, to help me set up the last few letters over the door. And there he was, on the other side of the room. Zack was lifting some weights I didn't even know how to name. He noticed me battling with the ladder nd hurried up to help me. I mean... wouldn't you crush about him too?

Zack:"Hey, man. Nobody came to help you with this? It's pretty heavy."

Me:"Hey, no. They all left to get their suits and all. So it's just me now."

Zack:"Oh, that's sad. You need help with something?"

Me:"No, it's fine. It's just final touches. But thanks"

Zack:"All right, man. But if you need, don't hesitate to ask ok?"

He smiled and went back to finish his set.

I was basically drooling, As I was climbing the ladder and trying to reach the letters, I stumbled and grabbed onto a light. I must have been shocked or something cause then I found myself on the floor. But I wasn't on the ground, I was standing. And on the ground was my body, unconcious.

I looked at my hands and they were barely visible. I tried to reach my body but it wouldn't accept my soul. Fuck, am I dying? I tried to call out for Zack but he didn't hear me. I ran to him and saw him lifting his weights. I tried to reach for him, but before I did I felt a force pulling me towards him. And as I was pulled away I felt something being ejected out of his body.

I opened my eyes, looking in front of me. But Zack was gone now. I turned around but he wasn't anywhere. As I looked down, I noticed I was now wearing bright red shorts, and on top of that a very sweaty torso, which definitely wasn't mine. I reached out my hands. Fuck, is this really happening? I searched the pockets and found a phone. In its reflection I saw Zack's face. Oh my god. Did I really just possess Zack's body? And where is he?

The responsible flow of thoughts was now interrupted by the two huge sweaty biceps now in the way where I usually didn't mind them. I flexed and oh my god, the tightness, the strength. I felt amazing.

I knew it was bad, but I just had to give it a try. What if I might never have a chance to do this ever again, I stuck out my new tongue and licked my new shoulder all the way to my biceps. Which also allowed me now to inhale the scent of my sweaty armpit. "This is so amazing!"

I then proceeded to touch my new belly full off abs. "How the hell did he get these?"

"Lot of working out and calorie deficit" a voice called out from the other side of the room, where I was before. And there was my body. Standing.

"Zack? Is that you?"

"Yeah. Would you mind telling me how this happened?"

I wanted to be completely honest, I swear, but I think that he doesn't need to know the part where my soul travelled to his body and was pulled by it.

"So, are we gonna try to reverse it the same way? Cause your body is really hurting from the fall and my body needs to be ready for a game tommorow. So I'm not really sure about that"

"I'm really sorry about that Zack. I mean, you're right that maybe it was my near deth experience that caused this, but I don't know if endangering our lives would allow to swap us back. What if the other one dies and the remaining one will have to keep on living the other ones life?"

"Yeah, you're onto something. Well, we're gonna have to figure out how to pass on as each other."

We spoke some more about how we were gonna live our lives without anyone thinking we have gone crazy.

"Ok, Zack. Just one question. How about... you know. Private stuff?"

"You mean my personal things at home or phone? Well that shouldn't be so bad I think. I don't have many secrets to tell or something, haha"

"No, I mean. Eventually we're gonna have to take a shower or go to a toilet."

"Oh, right. I haven't thought of that. Well, than my body is your body? I mean, I don't really like to think about somebody else using my body like that, but I know you're a good person and all, so I know you'll treat my body well. Maybe just... no sex? Could you do that for me please?"

"Zach, I haven't had sex yet even in my body. I mean, your body is attractive and all so, I know I could get a date in your body or smth, but that's not something I would do."

"Ok, thanks man. Just making sure. And also another thing. I..."

"What is i Zack?"

"Give me a second, it's kind off embarasing for me. I have to jerk off in the evening everyday. If I don't I sometimes have wet dreams the next morning"

"Dude, that's nothing to be ashamed of. That happens, Zack"

"Thanks. I know you mean well, but I just know my body. So I know you'll have to take care of that now or you'll have a very unpleasant morning including the washing of the clothes and bed linens."

I felt Zack dick in my new shorts getting hard just by hearing about this. Not only am I in the body of my crush, but he himself gave me permission to jerk off his dick. How crazy is that?

"Ok, Zack. If that's what needs to be done, I'll do it." I said it in a way to make it sound like I wasn't thrilled to jerk off his dick

"And in exchange I'll get to jerk off your dick. Do you have any other secrets I should know about?"

OH FUCK NO I am not telling him "Well... not really. I think."

"Good, then let's get to it. In case you won't know what to do, just text me and I'll help you"

I was approaching Zack's house. The one where I basically grew up secondary to mine. I knew where all the rooms were. What stuff was placed where. But that was before the death of my dad and before the divorce. Who knows what's different

I entered the house anticipating horrible things. And then a strange man left the restroom. "Hey, dipshit. Back from school already? Jesus fuck. The kids these days. Why don't you get a job kid" he left for the kitchen to grab himself a cold beer and left for the living room.

Now I understand why Zack spent so much time at school doing sports. He didn't want to stay at home longer than necessary.

Anyway, up to Zack's room. His room was not filthy, it was kind of clean, but at the same time it was a but disorganized. Some of his used clothes were lying on the ground. I grabbed one of his boxers and grabbed it to my face. This is my smell now. The smell of my dick. I inhaled and held it to my nose.

As I felt my dick hardening, I didn't waste no time and started undressing myself. Zack's small mirror didn't do the trick for me so I left to the bathroom.

"Ok, modern shower. That's new. Gonna have to give it a go"

I took off all my remaining clothes. I left his necklace on and then just stared at my new reflection in the mirror. How amazing is this?

I touched his jawline, his already growing beard, scratching my hand. His lips, shivering underneath my touch. His beautiful nose. His eyes, that now contained my soul and not his looked a bit different, but same too. I took my right hand and place it on my neck while my left hand was already enjoying the hairtrail blow my stomach.

"Oh Zack, I think you'd be the type to shave. Might do that for you to fully embrace this massive beast" and with that I lowered my right hand that was before resting on my vibrating throat and now started jerking my new dick.

"Just doing what I had been told. Haha"

I jerked faster. I was slightly moaning but not loud enough to cause suspicion with Zack's step dad. I was observing the tense muscles just working hard to get me into the state of pure euphoria.

I was getting close. I couldn't stop myself from moaning. I jerked so hard that the cum flew out of my dick right to the mirror in front of me. Is I stood there, smiling with my semi-hard dick in my hand I just saw the door swung open.

I quickly covered my dick and whole self with a towel, but even the partial view could give the viewer enough information. His step dad was furious

"What the hell you fucker?!? You're jerking off here while you could do some usefull job instead? I will have a very long talk with your mother when she gets here!"

What the hell just happened. Why is he so mad at Zack all the time. He's a student and a busy one at that. I don't know what this guy's problem is

I cleaned up the bathroom and got ready for the next time. Just the fact that I got the privilege to smell Zack's scent all the time and sleep in his bed. But having his body was a whole new level. I never even dreamed of this

The next day was horrible. I started the day with PE at school and let me tell you, that having a great body full of muscles is one thing. But having a weak will to actually do it is another. I was exhausted. I felt like I wouldn't be able to get up again after finishing

I saw Zack aproaching me in my body with a concerned look. I was beggining to worry what was on his mind

Zack:"Hey... umm how was your first night as me?"

Me:"Gotta say that the stepdad you got there is an another level of douchebag. I can't believe how you can live with that"

Zack:"Yeah, he is like that all the time. I don't know what mom sees in him. He's actually super nice to her, but seems to hate me just for breathing"

Me:"Yeah. I'll tell you later. There has been a bit of embarassing encounter"

Zack:"Actually I might ask you about something else first. Last night as I was in the bed I was trying to jerk off your dick, very nice by the way"

Me:"Jesus, don't make it more awkward than it is"

Zack:"Sorry. We'll I was trying to jerk off as I normally would, watching porn and stuff, but I couldn't. Then my mind wandered over to the guy on the video... I have to ask you and don't be afraid to answer. Are you gay?"

Me:"Yeah... I've been meaning to tell you for a long time. Well... since we're already saying everything to each other. I'll just admit it right now. I... I have a crush on you Zack"

Zack:"That was my another question. I have my head filled with thoughts. Very naughty thoughts including my body, so I am happy that you cleared this up and I am not just another self centered weirdo. But the question is. Would you let me suck my dick?"

Oh man

Another story from the inbox: Can you do a classic swap story between a nerd and a straight jock? I always find those to be super hot

Hey guys. Sorry for the great break. I was finishing my exams (I passed them all, yay) and now I am in a different country on an externship trying to figure shit out. But I do have some free time during the day and I get to write a bit about my drafts and the stories in your inbox. And thanks to everyone who texted me all the supportive and kind words :) really appreciate it

[baelabong]

𝖯𝗈𝗌𝗌𝖾𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗉𝗈𝗐𝖾𝗋

—————————————————————————

—————————————————————————

Pairing: g!p Karina x fem! Reader

Synopsis: Y/N, a skilled prosecutor, takes on a high-profile embezzlement case against Jeon Jungkook, while facing off against the formidable defense attorney Karina. As the courtroom battles intensify, so does the tension and jealousy between Y/N and Karina, blurring the lines between their professional and personal lives.

Warning: sex?!

—————————————————————————

The doors of your office open, a smiling Minjeong heading your way with a stack of papers in her hands.

“What’s up, gay-ass”, the woman in the suit chuckled

Rolling your eyes at your antics, you already knew what she was here for.

“Hand me the paper already,” you say with a playful tone

Placing the stack of papers on your desk, you eye the one on top taking it in your hands.

“Embezzlement?” You asked

“I know … but if you keep reading, you’ll see it involves Jeon Jungkook, that celebrity”

Nodding in acknowledgment she continues

“Getting accused of embezzling funds from charities he’s supported? Now that’s something”, Minjeong shakes her head

Being the most talented prosecutor alive, well Atleast that’s what you think, you nod.

“I’ll take it”

With a small smile Minjeong leaves you to it.

—-

Sat in your office, surrounded by stacks of files and evidence related to your latest high-profile case. The afternoon sun filtered through the blinds, casting a warm glow on the cluttered desk.

Glancing at the headline on your computer screen: "Jeon Jungkook Accused of Embezzlement from Charity" The article detailed the accusations against the internationally renowned celebrity, alleging that he had siphoned funds meant for a children's charity into his personal accounts.

The door to Y/N's office creaked open, and Minjeong her fellow co-worker stepped in.

"Hey, how's the case coming along?" she asked, dropping a coffee cup on your desk.

Sighing and rubbing your temples. "It's a mess. The media is all over it, and the evidence is all over the place.

Jungkook's fans are in an uproar, and the charity is desperate for justice."

Minjeong sat down across from Y/N, her eyes twinkling with curiosity.

"I heard Karina's defending him. That should make things interesting."

Y/N rolled her eyes, a small smirk playing on her lips. "Interesting is one way to put it. She's already been making her usual snide remarks during the preliminary hearings."

Minjeong leaned in, lowering her voice conspiratorially. "Just remember, your wife will NOT be happy about this," she teased, winking.

Y/N laughed, shaking her head. "Yeah, well, she can deal with it. This is work."

—-

Over the next few days, Y/N delved deeper into the case. She combed through financial records, interviewed witnesses, and gathered evidence that pointed towards Jungkook's involvement in the embezzlement scheme.

Despite the mountain of work, she found herself looking forward to the verbal sparring matches with Karina during their encounters.

One evening, Y/N was going through a particularly dense stack of documents when her phone buzzed. It was a message from Karina: "Ready for another round tomorrow? Don't be late. ;)"

YIN chuckled, typing back a quick reply:

"Wouldn't miss it for the world. Bring your A-game."

—-

Y/N stood in a quiet corner of the courthouse hallway, talking and laughing with her coworker, Mark. He was charming and funny, and y/n knew he had an interest in her. As Mark leaned in to make a joke, Y/N threw her head back, laughing freely.

Unbeknownst to her, Karina had just stepped into the hallway, catching sight of the interaction. Her eyes narrowed, and she paused, her expression a mix of irritation and something more difficult to read.

“What the fuck is she looking at?”Y/N thought, her laughter fading as she met Karina's gaze across the hallway. Karina's piercing stare sent a shiver down her spine, and she could feel the tension radiating from her.

Mark seemed oblivious to the sudden shift in atmosphere. "You should come out with us tonight, Y/N. It'll be fun," he said, his tone playful.

Y/N forced a smile, her mind still on Karina's reaction. "Maybe, we'll see."

Karina's eyes bore into Y/N's, and she could almost hear her thoughts. *Does she really think she can flirt with someone else right in front of me?* The thought was both thrilling and infuriating.

Y/N excused herself from Mark, walking briskly toward Karina. As she approached, she saw the flash of jealousy in Karina's eyes, and it made her heart race.

"What was that about?" Karina asked, her voice low and controlled, but Y/N could sense the underlying tension.

"Nothing important," Y/N replied nonchalantly, though her pulse quickened. "Just work stuff."

Karina's gaze flicked over to Mark and then back to Y/N. "It didn't look like just work stuff."

Y/N took a step closer, lowering her voice. "You're overreacting. Remember, we have to keep this professional."

You walk away from the taller girl, heels clacking as you entered the courtroom again.

The courts atmosphere was electric. The media presence was overwhelming, with cameras flashing and reporters jostling for the best spot.

Jungkook sat beside Karina, looking stoic and composed.

As you presented your case, you couldn't help but notice Karina's intense focus.

Every argument you made, Karina countered with equal force. Always butting in with your statements making your blood boil in anger.

“Your honour, my client did no such thing”, she kept pressing

After the cross examination, Karina asked for a recess, which the judge granted

Taking this opportunity, you cornered Karina in a quiet hallway.

"You know he's guilty, right?" You said, your voice low and challenging.

Karina smirked, stepping closer. "That's for the jury to decide, isn't it?" She paused, her eyes softening slightly.

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?"

You grinned

Karina leaned in, her breath warm against your ear. "Careful, someone might think you're flirting."

Your heart skipped a beat, but thank the Lord’s you kept your composure

"And what if I am?"

Karina's eyes sparkled with amusement.

"Then you'd better be ready for the consequences."

“The fuck, sorry but I have a wife”

With a scoff, Karina walks away turning her back on Y/n.

——-

The courtroom buzzed with tension as the trial resumed after recess. You exchanged a brief, intense look with Karina before the judge called the court to order.

"Counselors, you may proceed." The judge started

Stepping forward, you address the jury with confidence.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the evidence presented today will unequivocally show that the defendant, Jeon Jungkook, knowingly participated in an elaborate embezzlement scheme..."

As you continued your opening statement, Karina watched with a keen eye, her mind already formulating her counterarguments. When it was her turn, she rose gracefully, her presence commanding attention.

"Ladies and gentlemen, what you will see today is not a case of embezzlement, but a misunderstanding and misrepresentation of facts. My client is innocent..."

The trial progressed, with both sides presenting evidence and questioning witnesses. The tension between you and Karina was palpable, each one determined to outmaneuver the other.

"Objection, Your Honor! The defense is leading the witness."

"Sustained. Ms. Karina, please refrain from leading the witness."

Karina nodded, adjusting her approach with a confident smirk. You felt a surge of satisfaction but knew the battle was far from over. When it was your turn to cross-examine a witness, Karina was quick to interrupt.

"Objection, Your Honor! Relevance?"

"The witness's testimony is directly related to the timeline of events, Your Honor."

"Overruled. Continue, Ms. Y/N."

The courtroom drama intensified with each objection and counter-objection. You felt the pressure mounting, but you thrived on it. Karina’s every move seemed calculated to throw you off balance, yet you countered with equal precision.

"Objection, Your Honor! The defense is badgering the witness."

"Sustained. Ms. Karina, please restrain your line of questioning."

Karina shot you a glare, and you couldn't help but feel a thrill at having won that round. But she quickly recovered, pressing on with her case.

"Your Honor, I move to dismiss the charges on the grounds of insufficient evidence."

You felt your heart sink. The judge considered the motion, the courtroom holding its collective breath.

"Motion denied. Proceed with closing arguments."

You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. This was it—the final showdown. You poured every ounce of passion and conviction into your closing argument, determined to make the jury see the truth.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the evidence is clear. The defendant is guilty of embezzlement. Justice must be served."

Karina followed, her voice steady and compelling.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the prosecution has not met the burden of proof. My client is innocent, and I urge you to deliver a verdict of not guilty."

The jury deliberated, and the tension was unbearable. When they returned, the foreperson stood.

"We find the defendant not guilty."

You felt a wave of defeat wash over you as Karina's team celebrated. The judge dismissed the court, and you gathered your things, your heart heavy with disappointment.

You stormed out of the courtroom, frustration and anger bubbling inside you. Karina caught up with you in the hallway, a smug smile on her face.

"Tough break, Y/N. Better luck next time."

You glared up at her before saying

“Get the fuck away from me Yoo” and with that, you stormed off back to the office.

——-

2:30 am

The clock read as you yawned. After the case ended earlier, you decided to do some extra work to occupy your mind.

Ding

Your phone vibrated as a text popped up.

R:

hey, why aren’t you back at the apartment yet

With a sigh, you closed your phone, packing up your stuff and locking up your office.

Pulling up to your penthouse, you received another text.

R:

Why aren’t you replying?

Deciding to ignore it again, you trudged to the door of your penthouse and entered, taking your time with removing your shoes and coat that kept you warm despite wearing a skirt and blouse.

You realized the lights in the living room were on. Hmm. Walking in, you were met with your wife giving you a stern look.

“Love, where have you been?” she inquired.

“That court case tired me out today,” you said, giving her a pout.

“Hm … is that so? So you weren’t with Mark just then, were you?”

“Give it up, Karina. I’m so sick of today’s bullshit,” you snapped. As if on cue, she stomped towards you, trapping you against the edge of the couch.

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that,” she growled, grabbing your jaw and making you look at her.

You stayed quiet as she continued, “Do you know how hard it was to suppress myself from killing Mark myself for even asking you to go out?”

Your eyes darted away, unable to hold her piercing gaze.

Having enough, she pushed you down on the couch, flipping you over and yanking your panties and skirt off.

You looked behind you as she reached into her boxers to grab her hard-on, the tip red and angry, leaking with precum.

She was even bigger when hard, you thought, almost packing 7.5 inches.

Karina didn’t waste any time. She lined herself up and thrust into you with a single, powerful stroke, making you gasp as she filled you completely. The sensation of her stretching you out was intense, and you could feel your tummy bulging slightly from the sheer size of her.

“Look at you, taking all of me,” she hissed, gripping your hips tightly. “So fucking pathetic. You think you can just flirt with anyone and get away with it?”

You whimpered, her rough handling and harsh words sending shivers down your spine. Each thrust was deep and punishing, driving you further into the couch.

“Tell me, baby, who do you belong to?” she demanded, her voice low and dangerous.

“You,” you managed to gasp out, your body trembling under her relentless pace.

“That’s right,” she growled. “You’re mine. Only mine. And I’m going to make sure you remember that.”

Karina’s thrusts grew more forceful, her hips slamming into yours with a ferocity that left you breathless. You could feel every inch of her, the pressure building inside you as she took you harder and deeper.

“You’re going to take all of my cum,” she snarled, her grip on your hips tightening. “I’m going to breed you so you remember who you belong to.”

The dirty talk only heightened your arousal, the combination of pleasure and humiliation pushing you closer to the edge. Karina’s pace was relentless, each thrust sending waves of ecstasy through your body.

“You like that, don’t you?” she taunted, her voice dripping with disdain. “You like being used like this, don’t you, slut?”

“Yes,” you cried out, the intensity of the moment overwhelming you. “I love it.”

With a final, shuddering thrust, Karina buried herself deep inside you, her release hot and thick as she filled you completely. The sensation of her cum flooding you pushed you over the edge, your own orgasm crashing over you with a force that left you trembling.

Karina held you close, her breathing ragged as she whispered in your ear, “You’re mine. Always.”

[humiliatemeplesse]

After your nephew overheard his parents talking about you being gay, he went and asked them if he could go spend the weekend with you because he really liked spending time with you and you hardly saw him around anymore. They said sure and he said he'd have his buds drop him off at your house after his soccer game after school Friday. You were surprised but happy about the request, you liked your nephew, he was a good kid, smart, a masculine straight confident jock like you wish you had been in school. After his friends dropped him after the match Friday, he just stormed in the door, no knock, no doorbell, he scared the shit out of you. You laughed and said hey buddy! He dropped his gym bag on the floor and said "pick it up you stupid faggot" and you were shocked and horrified. As you stood there not saying or doing anything, he punched you in the gut and you doubled over. "What didn't you understand faggot? Pick up my gym bag asshole." He was so angry and aggressive that your naturally sissy fag self did what he said, you didn't want to get punched again. "Follow me," he said and you did, into your bedroom. "I'll be sleeping here in the master bedroom, you can sleep in the guest room," he said. " Now put down my bag and get on the floor." You almost mindlessly did what he said, still stunned and afraid of him. He sat on the floor and kicked off his sneakers. "Sniff my stinking socks homo, I've been wearing the same pair all week at practice and at the match today, where by the way I scored the winning goal, I bet you wish you were like me you old fag, don't you?" he said and laughed. You hesitated, you couldn't believe what was happening. Then he slapped you across the face with his stinking socked foot. "Sniff it bitch," he said. You stuck your face into his socked sole and started sniffing as ordered. Ya, they smelled like he'd been wearing them for a week. He said "Now remember this, as you're pathetically sniffing your teenaged nephew's socked feet at his orders, you do whatever I tell you to do this weekend. Buy me and my buds beer. Pay for weed. We're gonna steam anything we want on your TV and computer and you're gonna pay for it. You're gonna go to the store and buy anything we want to eat. Got it bitch?" You instinctively said "Yes Sir." Everything he said he'd make you do happened that weekend, and that wasn't the only time he made you sniff his sweaty smelly dirty socked feet AND his buddy's. They all laughed at you. When he left Sunday evening he said "I'm going to start coming over here most weekends so get used to it faggot" and walked out the door into one of his buds cars who was picking him up.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for "using" a cucumber and putting it back in the fridge?

(🥒👌 to find later)

Please, I know it sounds nuts but hear me out. I feel awful and I need to know just how bad this is. Also, I intentionally left as much as possible vague as I am a minor and I do not want this to get removed for being too explicit. But the story will not make sense if I don't include certain things, please understand.

So I (16M) grew up in and currently still live in the bible belt, with extremely conservative evangelical parents. As a taste of what it's like, we have church 3 times a week, and church camp every summer. We are only allowed to access Netflix through a stupid content filter app and we can only use a restricted smart phone that is regularly checked at random by our parents. We get an hour and a half of computer usage every other day, and the internet on the computer is heavily filtered also. The only reason I have access to Tumblr and am able to post this now is because my best friend's older brother gave me his old android for my birthday a few years ago. His family is much more open minded, and I'm very close with them. I also think they have always felt a little bad for me with my family being the way they are.

I'm also gay. Obviously, my family does not know, and I intend to keep it that way. I won't go too deep into it, but it will suffice to say I struggled a lot when I was younger over this. The good thing is that in the last few years, I've been able to accept myself more and come to terms with what my own feelings about religion and faith really are. I came out to my best friend and his brother a little over a year ago, and they've been very supportive. I have yet to tell any of my other friends.

Recently, I've been trying out alcohol since my friends found a hookup. Something I have discovered is that I tend to get lewd feelings when I drink, which has nearly caused a few embarrassing moments around friends. Coincidentally, I have also been experimenting with... certain things. Being a minor, I obviously can't enter any of the adult stores around me, nor would I feel comfortable asking any of my friends to drive me there if I could. I also can't order anything online because my bank account is connected to my parents, and I don't have a shipping address I'm comfortable using for those items either. So instead, I use household objects that belong to me and can be sanitized easily. You might see where this is going.

Yesterday evening, I came home from best friend's house with a full bottle of wine in my backpack. We and a few other friends had already been sipping on a few beers that afternoon, and I still felt a little buzzed. After my family went to sleep, despite already having a little alcohol in my system, I proceeded to get wasted on this bottle of wine in my room. I don't have the clearest memory of all of this, but at some point, I got hungry and lewd-feeling. Went into the kitchen and, through some kind of thought process I can only imagine now, came back into my room with a cucumber. From the title of the post, you can hazard a guess as to what happened to this cucumber. Once I was done, I drukedly and quickly washed it in the bathroom sink and threw it back into the fridge. I went to sleep.

I started freaking out as soon as I woke up this morning. There were four cucumbers in the fridge, I was pretty positive at least two were going to be used for dinner tonight, and I had no idea which cucumber I did the deed with. To make matters worse, my mom was inviting the pastor of our church and his family over for dinner. I have practically no money currently, no license or vehicle, and no friends with vehicles free to pick up new cucumbers for me (and no reasonable explanation as to why I needed them to spot me for four cucumbers specifically). I also have no believable reason to give for why we shouldn't have cucumbers added in the salad mix. My mom knows I love them, and they haven't gone bad. Can't say I ate them because who the hell eats four raw cucumbers? And she'll interrogate both my brother and I until she gets a satisfying answer if I just throw them out. I didn't know what the hell to do about this and I was close to having a panic attack, so... I took a nap.

Evening came. Guests came over, dinner happened. We had porkchops with macaroni and side salads. Cucumbers were in the salad, and I along with pastor's family and my own, ate it like nothing was wrong. My parents, the pastor and his wife had an engaging conversation about politics, religion, and some mild church gossip after dinner. My little brother continued to read his book, and I had a very awkward and one-sided conversation about Young Sheldon with the pastor's daughter. Then they left. And I went to my room to mentally implode.

To say I'm horrified is a major understatement. I don't think anyone is going to get sick because I scrubbed all of the cucumbers with soap multiple times and cleaned the vegetable drawer with bleach when I woke up this morning. I guess I also don't know that the violated cucumber was one of the ones that was used for dinner tonight, but then it's only a matter of days until we have salad again, or if mom cuts one up for water. I've rattled my brain for any way I could get some new cucumbers without telling anyone the details of the event, but I have nothing. Don't even have the money, anyway. Gave up the last bit of cash I had for the damn wine yesterday, and I have $0.43 in total on my debit card.

Admittedly, there is a very small part of me that doesn't even really care if they have eaten or end up eating the damn thing. I can't stand my family. My parents are invasive, controlling and neurotic, and don't give a shit about how I'm doing in so far as it pertains to god and the church. I'm a little more sympathetic to my brother as he's been stuck in this hell with me, but at 13 he's already begun to regurgitate way more religious dogma than I ever did at his age. And I know for a fact that they would want nothing to do with me if they found out I was gay. They'd probably kick me out on the street and spit on me if I had to guess. But even still, this is only a small part of how I feel. What I did was still so gross, and no amount of animosity I have for them can change how mortifed I am. I do have at least a semblance of a conscience.

So...AITA for all of this? WIBTA if I did nothing about the other two cucumbers? Please help.

[entropicbias]

some dumb doodles! i really like drawing terezi with visible eyes. people have asked me about my troll headcanons, i guess this is one of them.

and a comic i'm working on. if i don't release it by late december, we're gonna have to save it for 2026. which is hilarious cause i've been writing and rewriting this specific comic for 2 years now. there is pages where the dialog is actually complete before this, but they look shitty and i need to redraw them.

here, for making it this far, i'll throw in some premium entropicbias gay arts that'll make you go, "shit, is it pride month already?"

somebody check a freakin' calender!

oh, and here is the last piece of art i have to offer. my computer reset, and i lost the progress i made rendering this. honestly, it's my fault for relying on csp's autosave so much. i would really rather die than press ctrl+s every once in a while. i guess my luck ran out with this one. shame!

anyway, vaguely dave shaped vulcan is relevant to my next post. i will finish him by then, so there's something to look at in between my rambling.

[psychotrenny]

Like when are all of Biden's idiot fans gonna realise that he is not the "lesser evil". They love threatening people with how any opposition to Biden is gonna let Trump win and how Trumps gonna do all these awful things to the US as though said awful things aren't already happening under Biden. Increased border militarisation and deportation of migrants, loss of reproductive rights, legal assaults on the existence of gay and transgender people, corporate malpractice, police brutality etc etc. Like they're not just continuing to happen they've actually gotten worse under Biden than they were under the Orange Satan himself. The only substantial difference between them is foreign policy and in that area Biden is actually even bloodthirsty; in particular he's been an especially bad zionist for his entire political career and there's nothing to indicate that Trump would have somehow handled it worse beyond the mindless truism of "Orange Man Bad". Looking at their actual policies, voting for Joe Biden isn't gonna protect anyone within the US and is arguably more dangerous for the rest of the world (i.e. where the majority of the world's population lives). There is no "harm reduction" here.

If you're actually looking to help create a better world and protect vulnerable people, as opposed to feeling good that you helped the blue team win, then you're going to have to do it through avenues beyond voting for Joe. Vote third party, withhold your vote to pressure the democrats into nominating a better candidate, engage in action beyond electoralism; there are plenty of options out there. And they're all more effective than lecturing people on the computer (most of whom don't even live in your country they're just part of your empire and so forced to follow the politics) about how being mean to Biden makes you functionally a fascist or whatever

[artificial-transmutations]

Historically Accurate

"I'm telling you, Hollywood is going down with all the woke crap! You know what they say: Go woke go broke!"

Julian and Wallace were on their way back from the lunch room and the former was listening to the latter complaining. Julian had tried to avoid any topic like this, but, really, it was a mine field with Wallace. Just about *every* topic had the potential to turn out political.

"I don't see what's wrong with a little inclusion in pop culture." Julian said, not wanting to argue but also not wanting to leave that opinion unopposed.

"Everything! It's just plain wrong, and it's brainwash, too. I mean, it's like a mind virus, poisoning everything! There's a western coming out next week. But it's all bullshit woke agenda again. The cowboy is black and gay! Literal brainwash and historical rewrite."

Julian frowned. How could an intelligent person like Wallace be so stupid at the same time?

"Why does that even bother you? I thought you hated westerns."

"Yes, that's not the point. Fact is, it's historically inaccurate and just pushing the woke agenda."

"Actually, I think it's not even historically incorrect." Julian pondered as they entered the lab using Julian's keycard and an iris scan of both scientists.

Wallace was borderline angry now.

"What are you talking about? Everyone knows that cowboys were the whitest and the straightest people there were."

"I'm not quite sure", Julian said. "Weren't there freed slaves and so on? And I would guess if you were underway with another guy for prolonged periods of time, not everything staid straight, too."

"Bullshit! Everyone knows cowboys weren't fags, and they were white."

Wallace seemed agitated now, and his usual stiff demeanor became even more pronounced.

Wallace was in his mid-forties, but the way he was talking, he seemed way older to Julian.

Julian on the other hand was awfully young for the position he had. Being 25, he still didn't look like he had finished college, even though he had his doctorate already.

It was really a bit sad, he thought. Two of the brightest minds and they were bickering over basic, meaningless distinctions like ethnicity or sexual orientation.

"We could just ask the computer." he proposed, but Wallace frowned.

"We are not supposed to use the equipment for private research." he said.

'The computer' was part of the highly secretive project they worked on. When finished, it was supposed to be a time machine, simple as that. The actual time travel device didn't work properly yet, but a part of it, a chronoton boosted quantum computer that was able to access history itself to answer questions about the part, was already functioning quite well.

"But we are supposed to test it from time to time. Are you afraid of the answer it might give?"

"Of course not." Wallace grumbled. "Fine. Computer! Is there any historical evidence of gay black cowboys?"

The voice activated system acknowledged the request with a beep. While waiting for the answer, Julian checked the parameters of the system and found them in near-perfect condition.

Finally, the system answered, with the neutral male voice it was programmed with.

"A significant portion of cowboys consisted of people with African heritage, especially after the freeing of slaves after the civil war. Homosexual acts and attraction were common among cowboys, especially during the trail drives. Demonstrating..."

"Hrmpf." Wallace said, clearly not happy.

Julian, who was still checking the readings, scratched his head.

"Did you remember to disconnect the capsule before making the query? It seems to be drawing power."

"Ah, crap. That's just because of all the bullshit talk. Computer, stop!"

"Unable to comply. Demonstrating... Target: Montana Frontier Area, June 1865..."

The white walls of the chamber started to glow in an ever brighter white that was beginning to hurt the eyes.

"Crap. Julian, cut the power!" Wallace said, now with a clear notion of fear in his voice. The younger scientist didn't answer but tried to do as he was told - but did not succeed in time.

Suddenly, with a flash, their surroundings changed and the two of them found themselves in the middle of a rugged mountain range, on the border of a pine forest. It was late afternoon and the scientists found themselves in a just set-up camp. Two horses were standing nearby, and a small herd of cows was grazing at a meadow.

Wallace sighed and shook his head angrily. "Just great. Look at the mess you just put us in. Now we have to wait until we're rescued. And, apparently, we have to meet some black homo cowboys."

Julian looked around but couldn't see anyone around.

"I would have also guessed so, but there doesn't seem to be anyone there."

His heart sank as he had a terrible suspicion. He had been experimenting lately with a normalization circuit that would embed the time travelers into history instead of superimposing them onto it. That was - according to his theories - a rather elegant way to resolve the repelling effect the historical structure had, but it wasn't finished by any means. It had never been tested and even theoretically, it wouldn't be able to achieve a partial embedding, only a full one at best. And the more he thought about it, the more he was convinced that it had still been connected to the system.

As Julian thought about how to break it to Wallace, he noticed something strange about the other scientist. It could be a trick of the light, but he looked way more tanned than before.

"Uhm... It might actually be somewhat worse than that. I think my normalization circuit was still active when you activated the machine."

"What? What does that mean?" Wallace looked at him, furiously now.

"Well, I would guess..." Julian struggled and gave up. "Look at your hands, I think it's pretty self-explanatory."

Wallace looked down at his darkening hands and paled. Even now, he still had a considerably darker skin tone than before, darkening with every passing second.

"Shit." he said. "That's what you get for fucking around with a half-finished experiment."

Julian didn't even dare to mention his suspicion. If his normalization circuit was really active, that would make Wallace an actual, black cowboy, and not just him. Julian was also a time traveler, so he, too, would be affected.

Meanwhile, the changes in Wallace seemed to have proceeded. His facial structure looked like it was in motion before finally settling on a generally broader, manlier shape: The jawline became more pronounced, and his cheekbones raised.

"Is there... anything going on with me as well?" Julian asked.

Wallace looked over at him.

"Yeah, your hair color is changing, and I think your eye color. Blonde and blue-eyed, how cliché. But most importantly, you're not becoming fucking a fucking Black man."

Wallace didn't say Black man.

For some reason, this didn't bother Julian half as much as it should have. He felt rather at ease, and the untamed wilderness around him awakened a sense of adventure inside of him that he didn't know was in him.

Meanwhile Wallace was also feeling a change within. A surge of confidence emerged from within him that was entirely alien to the deeply insecure man at first, but quickly became more and more part of his personality. It was like his core was solidifying into a confident and assertive nature, a boldness and quiet he secretly always wished he had. At the same time, his body structure changed considerably.

Where before, Wallace had been a physically unimpressive mid-forties man, it now seemed like the years melted off of him, and for every year that he lost, he gained three pounds of muscle mass and beef. His shoulders widened, his height increased, and his frame expanded in order to accommodate the new body mass.

"It's not that bad, ain't it?" While Julian's body had not changed much besides the hair and eye color, his voice sounded entirely different now. It had a southern lilt to it, but it was charismatic and charming. It was the kind of voice you could listen to for hours without end, perfect for reading an audiobook - or telling campfire stories.

"Well now, I ain't too sure 'bout that." Wallace's voice had changed even more considerably when he answered. He had gained a thick southern accent, and his voice had dropped to a low and smooth voice that sounded commanding even if he didn't intend to.

"Ha, look at that, your skin's startin' to change now, too!"

And really, Julian's skin had started to adapt as well, but it was quickly becoming apparent that it went a different route than Wallace's. Instead of darkening to the almost black tone that he was sporting, Julian's skin became rougher and got a sun-kissed tan instead. His facial features sharpened, as his cheekbones looked chiseled all of a sudden and a rugged beard texture was adorning his chin. Julian seemed to notice it, too, since he started touching his new face immediately.

"Cool! Always wondered what I'd look like sportin' a beard." he said, apparently not too unhappy with the changes.

There was no denying Julian looked good, which made Wallace feel a touch of jealousy. In his opinion, it wasn't fair that he was the only one having to deal with the black skin. That feeling quickly faded, though, as his changes continued. His hair became very short, curly and dark. At the same time, a short beard formed on his chin and upper lip, giving him an even manlier appeal. At the same time, chest hair sprouted, sparsely of course, as it was normal for a man of his heritage. A strange feeling overcame Wallace. He wasn't necessarily *proud* to be Black now, but he also didn't mind it anymore. He was proud of a lot of secondary assets, though, like his bulging muscles or his handsome face. As his eyes became a dark brown, he had to smirk as he sat down by the fire, readjusting himself in the process. And, of course, his big cock, which might also have been positively influenced by his new ancestry.

Wallace watched as Julian turned around and tended to the horses. His body was now, finally, also changing. It didn't become nearly as bulky as his own, but instead lean and agile, with narrow hips and a well-distributed surprising strength, as Wallace knew. While Julian was busy with the horses, Wallace had a good view of his ass. It filled out the jeans just so well, and Vallace only noticed now that the other man's attire had changed. He was clad in a pair of blue jeans, a vest and, of course a Stetson now, and Vance always thought that this outfit accentuated the best parts of his partner quite well. He preferred black leather, himself, since the material was sturdier and felt better on the skin.

Vince felt his cock hardening in his leather pants and readjusted himself again while also leaning back and spreading his legs to make more room for the erection. He wasn't afraid of anyone seeing his rude behavior. The only other man within a wide range was Jesse, the owner of that juicy ass. And he was allowed to see... well, everything.

Vince waited patiently until Jesse returned to the campfire, with a big smile on his face.

"How them horses holdin' up, partner?" Vince asked.

"They're good. Just a tad worn out from today's ride." Jesse answered.

"Well, there's somethin' else needs tendin' to, if you're free to lend a hand. Or an ass." Vince grinned and made his cock throb in the confines of his tight leather pants.

Jesse grinned at the display of masculinity and massaged his own cock.

"Hell yes!"

As Jesse moved over in his usual graceful movements, Vince leaned back. There really wasn't anything better than being a big, black cowboy. Especially not with a partner like Jesse, who was always happy to make the nights in the wilderness a little less lonely.

Certainly not poor and lonesome! Also check out this awesome writer!

There are a few more versions of Jesse and Vince, over at my tip jar.

[equalseleventhirds]

"I don't understand how I'm losing," Reigen said, his hands flying over his keyboard. It was so late now—too late, maybe—if only he'd used the same technique as with the Player Killer from the beginning, he might have stood a chance, but he hadn't seriously thought he'd lose—

"Shishou," Mob said, "why is this so important? You already have second place from Twitter."

Reigen laughed, not at all nervously, and splayed a hand across his forehead. "You don't understand, Mob. The publicity from something like this, even a rematch, would do wonders for Spirits and Such. This is about business."

(He would never admit to his pride being on the line.)

"And anyway, who is this guy? A radio host? I've been on TV, you know."

Mob carefully did not bring up what had actually happened when Reigen made his television debut.

Ritsu had no such qualms. "When they exposed you as a fraud? That was publicity too, right?"

"Hey—!"

Serizawa leaned over Reigen's shoulder to see the computer screen, careful not to spill the tea he placed on the desk. "Oh, Cecil from Welcome to Night Vale? It's been a while since I listened to that, maybe I should catch up."

Reigen stared at him. "You? What? Serizawa?"

"Ah... yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Back when I was... well, when I didn't leave my room much, the podcast was popular. I guess it gave a sense of... community? Feeling less alone, even when you are." He shrugged. "Plus, hearing another gay man in a show like that was comforting."

"He's gay? Canonically?" Why can't I be gay canonically?

"Sure, he got married in episode 100. It was very emotional."

"I nearly died in our chapter 100—"

-- -- -- -- --

Well, listeners, there's still a few hours left on the poll, but I'm now leading at 56%! I must say, I did not expect this, especially after Twitter users so clearly forgot—or perhaps never knew—about my Tumblr Sexyman Origins.

But, that's neither here nor there. I certainly am grateful, if a bit bemused, about all of this, but let us not forget that this is all a friendly competition. Unlike the annual War On Christmas—and let us all take a moment to remember our fallen allies against that terrible holiday foe—this is a battle of kindness. Love, even. The love we feel for Tumblr, for our favorite sexy men, for pressing a button on a meaningless internet poll. The love we feel, listeners, for each other.

And in the spirit of that love and friendliness, I figured I'd get to know my opponent a little better! A bit of googling, which of course you know means searching via every search engine but Google, what with the Town Council imposing the Google Search Tax and getting all Night Vale IP addresses shadowbanned, has led me to... oh my, listeners. I do not know who made this, but Reigen Arataka has the single most beautiful professional web page I have ever encountered. It's... words do not do it justice. I am tearing up. This... I could not make anything better myself.

A-hem. Listeners, now that I've wiped away the tears such beauty inspired in me, I can now see that Reigen's website advertises his business, one Spirits and Such Consulting. Well! We may be rivals in this moment, but I am overjoyed to learn that Reigen runs such an innovative and important business! I am nearly ashamed that, while my opponent works to make the world a better place, I, a mere community radio host, am winning the sexyman contest.

Nevertheless, we must respect the polls. Not respecting polls could get us in hot water with the Town Council, or with the demigods of numbers who lurk in the sharp edges of percentages. So since I can't hand my victory over to him, I think I'll do what I can as a community radio host, and promote Reigen Arataka's important business!

So if you're a spirit in need of counseling, a ghost in need of therapy, or an eldritch beast in need of a shoulder to cry on, head on over to Seasoning City and pay our good friend Reigen a visit! I'm sure he'll be pleased as anything to see you.

[rogersandclarke]

mutual 1: see the thing about obi wan is that even if he could get pregnant he would do a force-abortion on himself because he believes that strongly in adoption

mutual 2: do you think matt damon was seething and coping when j-lo dropped "dear ben" or do you think matt and ben were still hooking up at this time? essentially if the album dropped in 2002, the bennifer engagement is nov 2002-january 2004, and matt gets married in 2005,

mutual 3: my ebay bidding war for paul reubens's spit in a jar is going really well due to the psychic attacks i've been sending to the other bidder

mutual 4: local authorities wont let me into this abandoned hoarder house in rural wyoming. dies horribly. #i love drunk driving

mutual 5: listen ive studied rpf for years you dont understand. the homoerotic undercurrent of britpop is a different breed than what george and bob had going on. theres a playful aura facilitated by the early 90s

mutual 6: i am going to pound philip seymour hoffman into the ground so lovingly

mutual 7: im doing crazy things to davy jones pussy over here

mutual 8: thinking of writing my thesis on the evolution of rpf #no don't look at my lb diary yes i watched 10 martin & lewis movies this week

mutual 9: you see robbie and bob were having on and off trysts ever since robbie stopped him from killing himself in 1966 but it took martin scorseses tender devotion to show robbie how unhealthy that was

mutual 10: thankfully neil young started estrogen in early 1970. otherwise she never couldve made harvest

mutual 11: how minutes of semi-truck sound effects do you guys think i can play on my radio show before people start tuning away

mutual 12: put this post underwater sorry. but i just feel so angry when people post about their mutuals like they're people they never talk to. i've moved to different countries three times for my mutuals.

mutual 13: [picture of orson welles and anthony perkins laughing on the set of the trial] do you think they ever fucked #hot! #who said that

mutual 14: i think i could fix norman bates if we got married and adopted the eraserhead baby together.

mutual 15: [picture of a computer fucking itself]

mutual 16: m sooooo girl drink drunk daveeeeee

mutual 17: eroticism of the machine? uhhh yeah only if the machine is a sexy car #STOP PUTTING THOSE COMPUTER PICTURES ON MY DASH

mutual 18: my warriors in maine are one step closer to slipping cocaine back into stephen kings food so he can be a good writer again

mutual 19: you don't understand. walton goggins isn't just gay in the show. he also walks gay in real life. you have to understand this.

mutual 20: im going to kidnap mike stoklasa and only release him when he makes a post coming out as bisexual

EDIT: ETHAN LET ME POST THIS: mutual 21: do you think lana del rey and joan baez are hooking up. why is lana with her everywhere and introducing her documentary and doing all these things. we KNOW joan is bisexual. do you think

[ltleflrt]

So I happened to see one of the tags on that fanfictions are not books post, and I saw the dumbest fucking take.

"Imagine asking for a book recommendation, and someone sends you a fanfic link."

Yeah okay, also imagine if they recommended you the last book in a series? Nobody is going to do that, because it's a story that wouldn't make sense without knowledge of the prior content. I'm not going to send someone a fanfic link without knowing if they're familiar with the fandom first.

Also, who is asking for book recommendations from people without having an idea that the person has similar reading interests? I'm not going to ask a random stranger for a book recommendation. I'm going to ask someone I know. Someone I've talked to enough to get an idea that we like the same things.

If I am talking to someone who might also be into reading, I might say "I read a great book over the weekend", even if it was a fanfiction, and tell them about it. If they express interest in reading it too, I'm going to ask them if they're familiar with the source material. Then I'm going to ask them if they like romances. Then I'm going to ask them if they like queer romances. Then I'm going to ask them if they like *smutty* queer romances. And then I'm going to ask them if they mind reading on their phone/tablet/computer. If they say yes to all of those questions, I'll send them the link.

And if we're not talking specifically about something that I just read that they're interested in too, and they just say "hey, you read books a lot, got any recommendations?" I'm not going to have an immediate answer for them, because I have a very wide variety of interests, while still being extremely picky, and I do not assume people like the same stuff I do. I'm going to ask them what genre they like, how do you feel about standalone stories versus series? Do you like stuff that has romance in it even though it's not the romance genre? Have you ever read fanfiction? Based on those answers, I might ask them even *more* questions to narrow it down. Do you know how much I've read?? Thousands of published books, thousands of fanfictions, hundreds of audio books. I can't even think of everything I've read. I might need to know what you like in order to even REMEMBER something that might be of interest to you. But yeah, I MIGHT send you a fanfic link, even if you've never read fanfic before. It has happened. And she read it and loved it and recommended it to her daughter. She did NOT recommend it to her own mother, when her mom wanted to know what story they were talking about. She's like 90, and they were afraid a gay cyberpunk story would be too much for her sensibilities.

Like, people aren't asking for recommendations from each other without having conversations about it. And people who make reading recommendation lists for social media usually have a specific flavor of reading material that they're known for, and a stranger seeing that on the internet is either gonna say "not for me, thanks" or be like "oooooh *click*" depending on whether that list has things that are to their taste.

If someone wants a book rec from me, and they don't want to talk about what they're interested in to give me an idea of how to curate to their tastes, I'm just going to recommend the Encyclopedia Britannica 15th Edition from 1984, the "L" volume, so that I can watch the light leave their eyes.