#complimentary dog worm

[dykeferatu]

i can be a little vain as a treat. look at my biceps

[alittlebitofsainz]

me (and you) and my guitar

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

summary: just a little drabble; you’re shy about playing guitar around other people, but charles desperately wants to hear your hidden talent

masterlist

“I didn’t know that you play the guitar?”

your cheeks immediately flushed red, instinctively trying to hide the instrument behind your back, a task you didn’t really achieve considering the instrument in question was a guitar roughly half your height. you glanced away, not meeting charles’ eyes, feeling his curious gaze flitting between you and the fret of your guitar peeking out from behind your back.

“I don’t. well, not really.” came your reply, words bordered by a nervous chuckle. charles was unconvinced, raising an eyebrow, but your response was only half untrue. you didn’t play guitar, as far as most of the world was concerned; you didn’t play in front of other people, preferring to keep your favourite hobby to yourself. this was the first time someone had stumbled across you, hiding in a corner of the ferrari motorhome, trying to while away the minutes that were threatening to turn into an hour. the rain wasn’t letting up, and the race didn’t look like it would resume any time soon. charles didn’t seem to think so either, judging by the way his fireproofs were hanging round his hips, and by the way he was hanging around the back of the garage instead of discussing data with his engineers. there’s only so much you can talk about, he once told you when you’d asked him about it.

“you won’t keep playing?” he asked, the wounded expression on his face worming its way into your heart, even if you knew it was mostly playful, “not even for me?”

you couldn’t help but laugh at his fake pout, bottom lip sticking out and eyebrows curving upwards to give you those puppy dog eyes that he knew you couldn’t say no to. or, rather, he hoped you wouldn’t say no to. you had a tendency to be stubborn from time to time. and this? this was one of those times.

“sorry, charles.” you shook your head, even as he blinked imploringly at you. but his expression changed after a moment, an expression that always worried you. charles leclerc was coming up with a plan.

“if I play first for you, will you play for me after?”

it was tempting, you had to admit. there was a time, a few months ago now, that charles had been obsessed with learning guitar, could barely be pictured without one attached to his back. you’d always known he’d been musical, something you’d bonded over. but then he’d picked piano back up, and guitar seemed to have fallen by the wayside. charles had that personality where he liked to be good at things. so you’d dropped it, never asked him about it, despite your curiosity. so this offer? and combined with the pleading look in his eyes? well, how could you refuse?

his face lit up when you agreed, reaching for the guitar with an outstretched hand. he sat beside you, shoulder to shoulder, weighing up the instrument in his hands, fingers finding their way over the fret. okay, so the chord changes were a little clumsy, his fingers, clearly made for piano, fumbling a little over the barred notes. but there was an undeniable musicality to it, an underlying reminder that charles had a good ear and pure rhythm, no matter what he turned his hand to. you rewarded his piece with a quiet round of applause and a broad, genuine smile.

“you ought to practice more!” your tone was enthusiastic, but charles tilted his head with a confused expression, clearly expecting something a little more… complimentary. you quickly backtracked, shaking your head,

“no, I mean-“ you stumbled a little, becoming tongue tied in your attempt to reassure him you meant it positively, “I mean you’re a natural, charles, really. if you really worked at it, you could be incredible; as good as you are at piano.”

his expression changed, understanding, and he flashed you a rueful smile.

“if only I had the time.” he replied softly, his words carrying a hint of wistfulness. you hummed in reply, a soft sign escaping you.

“yeah, fair enough.” you agreed quietly.

but charles wasn’t going to forget your end of the bargain in a hurry.

“a deal’s a deal. your turn.” he handed the guitar over to your reluctant hands, an expectant grin spreading across his face. it was rare you saw him get this excited over anything that wasn’t a podium finish or a puppy; it almost felt like an honour.

“okay, fine.” you replied in a way that let him know that you really didn’t want to do this.

he sat there, enraptured, eyes alternating between following the way your fingers danced across the strings and being glued to your face, your expression concentrated yet relaxed at the same time. when you finally finished, he sat there for a moment, quiet, as if processing the last couple of minutes. you rubbed the back of your neck awkwardly, shifting the guitar off your lap and propping it up beside you.

“thank you.”

“yeah, like I said, I’m really not that good, and- wait, what did you say?”

you paused as his words overlapped yours, both speaking at the same time.

“I said thank you.” he repeated, quieter this time, as if almost embarrassed by the words. “I mean, for letting me listen to you play. you’re really good.”

you opened your mouth to disagree, but charles cut you off with a shake of his head.

“and don’t say you’re not.” he told you with a warning glance. you chuckled; he knew you too well. he paused for a moment, his gaze wandering across the garage to focus on the rain still falling on the tarmac outside. he had that look on his face again. his thinking look.

“could you teach me?”

he said suddenly, and not for the first time today, you had to ask him to repeat himself so you could make sure you’d heard him right.

“I mean, I don’t have time for formal lessons or anything like that, but moments like these…” he turned to face you, gesturing vaguely around the garage, “the little moments in between races. sometimes… well, let’s say it would be nice to think about something other than driving for just a few minutes.”

when he put it like that, how could you say no?

“I’m not exactly a qualified teacher.” you tried to protest, but it was a losing battle.

“you seem good enough to me.” came his reply, as if he’d lined it up, already anticipating your argument. “I don’t need to have a perfect technique. I just want to be able to play every now and again. like you.”

you ducked your head to try and hide the blush creeping up into your cheeks, feigning the need to tune a string on your guitar. the rain was starting to ease outside: the race would begin soon.

“okay. you’ve got a deal.”

[xecutivecucumber]

Executive Cucumber's Thoughts on the Bad Batch Season 3, Episode 5, The Return!

(And I'm doing this instead of sleeping)

Spoilers after the break

Notes may not be in order

At first I was a little disappointed that we didn't start immediately after the end of the last episode, but I think I prefer it. We can have the reunion any way we want now. It's possible that the writers thought that they would all just awkwardly and quietly get on the Marauder and fly off and they knew we would be disappointed by that. So they left it to us to imagine what happened next. I think that's also why they didn't show Crosshair finding out about Tech. For them, Crosshair might just stay silent, or disassociate or something and we wouldn't be satisfied. But now we get to imagine all kinds of angst for when that happened.

Oh, the contrast between Omega waking up on Pabu and on Tantiss. SHE DESERVES THIS SO MUCH.

Aww AZ really loves Omega.

Okay, but how did Crosshair accept the fruit? Did he say thank you? I NEED TO SEE CROSSHAIR BE AWKWARD AROUND NORMAL PEOPLE.

I honestly think Crosshair wants to train Omega as his replacement if he can't get over his hands.

Wrecker and Hunter just blatantly watching them is amazing.

MOM'S HOME

Crosshair's sass is everything to me in this episode.

I honestly think that Echo is the only one who really talks about Tech out loud because he's the only one of them who has experienced loss before. He knows how to handle it. The others...do not.

STOP MAKING CROSSHAIR GO TO COLD PLACES, ESPECIALLY WHEN THAT COLD PLACE TRAUMATIZED HIM

'Little brother' oh my gosh they are my everything.

I expected Crosshair to love Omega, but he ADORES her and I am here for it. I'm also here for the fury for when she is inevitably captured again.

Hunter, you are a butt. I still love you.

HIS ARMOR. YES. YES. YES.

'It still fits' it might not have because he was so skinny and that is devastating.

Oh my gosh Hunter and Crosshair's arguing is everything I could have wanted.

'Kill each other later' Echo I love you.

I love that Batcher is just a member of the Batch now. Also, Hunter, get your senses in order the dog is doing your job.

THE HELMETS. AAAAAAAAAGH.

Hunter: sees Crosshair tenderly arranging helmets

Also Hunter: this is unreasonably suspicious

TOOTHPICKS YES

HIS TREMBLING HAAAANDS

Ugh I love Crosshair and Hunter's fight so much. Crosshair isn't just pushing Hunter's buttons, he's legitimately angry that Hunter let Omega get captured and go through what she did. And then there's the beautiful subtext of 'you let Tech die.'

Crosshair and Batcher are best duo.

THE SNOW IS SO GORGEOUS

CROSSHAIR SOUNDS SO MUCH LIKE TECH HE EVEN SAYS 'OMEGA' THE SAME WAY.

This is their get-along-worm.

Wrecker hugging Crosshair and Hunter may be one of my favorite things ever.

'There's no blood.' I am requesting all fic writers to provide me with a plethora of fics featuring Hunter and Crosshair fighting to bloodshed, ranging from angst to the stupidest argument ever.

CROSSHAIR YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON YOU OPENED UP.

Okay after Hunter said he did things he regretted too I'm now convinced that he has committed so many war crimes in trying to find Omega. Wrecker has nightmares about it.

I can't remember where, but Crosshair's theme was played in the major key!!! LET HIM BE HAPPY

Crosshair is such a joy to watch this episode. This is who he is and it really contrasts with chipped Crosshair.

I miss Tech so much. I want to see him in this dynamic. I also want to see Crosshair and Phee's dynamic.

I mean this in the most complimentary way possible: this episode felt like a fanfiction. The focus on their interactions and emotions feels like something we'd get from a fic rather than Canon. And I love every moment of it.

I adore seasons 1 and 2, but there were definitely episodes I preferred over another. This season has been 10/10 for me so far. And once more I have to wait a FREAKING week for more.

[notstinky]

TIMING: Recent FEATURING: Thea (@notstinky) & Sai (@saithebatguy) LOCATION: Worm Row SUMMARY: Needing some extra cash, Thea and Sai sign up for a vague medical research study they saw online.

Thea was poor. She was also bald but just this once, her being poor was the more pressing issue. Being poor made her desperate. Everyday, she drew closer to thinking selling pictures of her feet might be a good idea. She didn’t have an issue with the premise but it just wasn’t right for her; there wasn’t much dignity left to cling to, but the fact that her feet remained unpictured was something she could still say. She couldn’t say that she had hair. She couldn’t say that she hadn’t eaten someone before. She couldn’t even say that her hair hadn’t tried to eat someone before. But she still had undocumented feet. 

It was for that reason that the online ad for a “special research study” didn’t alarm her nor did the lack of explanation nor the decrepit building the meeting was in. In fact, she was excited about it; Thea bounced on her heels, grinning at… the only other person in this waiting room. She also didn’t find it alarming that only two people had shown up. More complimentary donuts for her, or something, right? She bounced over to him. “Hi!” She held out her hand in greeting. “I’m Thea! I guess you’re also here for the study, right? Do you know what…” Thea had printed out the ad and unfurled it from her sweaty fist now, pointing at the wrinkled paper. “Do you know what they mean when they say the study is ‘for new drugs’ and ‘good stuff’?” Thea was all for ‘good stuff’, she just didn’t know what that meant. Shouldn’t a research study give more information? And did it matter? She was poor; she was desperate. 

—

Craigslist was one Sai’s favorite new innovations of the human world. It beat old-school bulletin boards by miles, even if the gigs section was mostly flooded with ads to drive for Uber. None of them mentioned they required background checks though, which he thought was a bit misleading. But there were some good odd jobs on Craigslist if you didn’t mind digging through the postings. Like this special research study he’d found that was paying $800 for some sort of drug development. Sai probably wasn’t the best test subject since he was technically dead, but he wasn’t planning on telling them that, and he thought that they probably wouldn’t think to ask.

There was only one other person in the waiting room when he got there, a bald young woman who walked over to him, and held out what looked like a printout of the study details. “Hello. Sai,” he said, shaking Thea’s hand. “I’m here for the study. But I don’t know much more than you do. I was thinking that maybe they’re planning to give us the drug and see what happens? Side effects, that sort of thing.” He didn’t know much about drug development, but he couldn’t think of what else it would involve. “Not sure about the good stuff. Maybe they mean the donuts,” he gestured at the box on a table near the wall. Not much use for him, but maybe he’d look like a more convincing test subject if he ate them. The room was mostly empty besides that and a few chairs. There was no sign of whoever was running the study. “Do you think someone’s supposed to meet us here? I thought it was supposed to start at 8:30.”

—

“Oh, just, give us a drug… right…” Thea pulled her hand away from Sai, stuffing it into her pockets. “That sounds really safe.” Was it FDA approved? Admittedly, Thea didn’t know how drug testing worked, but she did assume the FDA played a big role. They were always approving things or not approving things and then there were lawsuits; Thea had read the articles. Of course, she didn’t know what the FDA actually was (Furry Dog Association?). “Donuts are good stuff. Have you had one yet?” Thea walked over to the table, opening up the box. There was a normal assortment: powdered, jelly-filled, sprinkle, glazed, chocolate-dipped. Thea reached for the powdered donut. “Do you want one? It doesn’t seem like they’re coming any time soon.” 

And just as she said it, as if summoning them herself, the door on the opposite wall banged open and a tall, thin man in a lab coat with sunken eyes stared at them. “It’s time,” he said. “Follow me.” 

Thea glanced down at her donut, then at the researcher, then at Sai. She asked all of them with her wet, donut-hungry eyes if she could just eat this first. Please, let her have the good stuff. “We don’t have a lot of time,” the researcher said, which seemed to be a no. Thea sulked into the next room without her donut. Their new accommodation was much smaller than the first, with one dim swinging light above and two chairs in the center of the room. Instead of donuts, the tables were lined with lab equipment, paper, and medical tools Thea did not think they needed. It looked to her like a torture/interrogation room, which was really not how she wanted her suspicious drug research rooms to look. 

Thea took a seat and a new researcher stepped out from the shadows. “I’m going to ask you two some questions,” the researcher said. “To start: are you allergic to any metals?” 

—

Sai shrugged. He wasn’t too worried about the safety. Surely, even if they did get something terribly wrong with the drug, it wouldn’t have much of an effect on him. Thea might not be so lucky, though. “Uh…” Sai looked at the donuts, as she offered them up. With every passing decade, human food looked more and more fake. He couldn’t even remember what it tasted like, it was all like eating dirt now. But before he could pass on them, they were being ushered back.

Thea seemed reluctant to follow the researcher, looking between Sai and the other man before going. Worried about the side effects, maybe. But Sai was more than happy to make this a quick in and out. He’d been expecting the researcher would want to take their time, though. Be thorough with the process. But maybe they were eager to get home to their families. It was late, even if Sai’s evening was just starting.

Sai took a seat next to Thea in the back room. The researcher who’d brought them in headed to a back table, while the other, a woman with muddy red hair pulled back in a severe bun, started in with questions. Instead of the typical bureaucratic items Sai was expecting -- name, age, that sort of thing -- they started with allergies.

“No, nothing like that,” Sai said, shaking his head. He wasn’t sure if a vampire could have allergies. Unless you counted religion and daylight. As Thea answered beside him, Sai watched the other researcher snap on thin blue latex gloves and reach for a couple small items off one of the tables. It was hard to tell what they were from where he sat, but he heard the faint crinkle of plastic.  

After quick scribbled notes on the clipboard, the red-haired researcher looked back up, her eyes flicking back and forth between Sai and Thea, “Next, do you have allergies to any herbs?” Sai shook his head again, wondering if they were going down a list of allergy types, or if all of these had to do with the drug in question.

—

Thea didn’t think she was allergic to any metals: so far she’d been unable to confirm if the thing about werewolves and silver was true, on account of never being sold real silver. So, she responded with a definitive: “I don’t know?” She shrugged. “Maybe? I haven’t touched all the metals yet.” She was pretty sure at least that she’d never touched any lead before, ‘cause lead was, like, super illegal now. Then there was another question. “Herbs?” Thea repeated. “Like oregano? Uh, I don’t think so. I eat a bunch of food all the time. I’m lactose intolerant, is that anything?” Her attention was taken from the researcher at the strange sounds crinkling, snapping and ripping from the table. She leaned in her chair but her vision was eaten up by the body of the red-headed researcher, who was now hovering over them. 

“Are you allergic to sunlight?” she asked. Thea’s brows rose. “Sunlight? Do people have sunlight allergies?” Thea looked over to Sai, wondering if he thought these questions were as weird as she did. “What does this have to do with drugs? You can’t put sunlight in a drug.” Could you? Probably not. But instead of an answer, there was another question, from the researcher: “Have you ever eaten anyone before?”

“Woah!” Thea raised her hands up. “You can’t just—you can’t just ask someone about cannibalism! That’s like, super rude. And unethical. And mean!” She was sweating, periodically glancing at Sai for some kind of reassurance. This was weird right? “I’ve never eaten anyone! And definitely not on a full moon before, like, as a random example,” she confessed quickly. 

—

The sunlight one was weird. Really weird. Thea said it before he did: what did sunlight have to do with drug testing? Sai paused, probably too long before answering that one. He didn’t make a habit of admitting things like that to humans. “I’m sensitive to it,” he said finally. It couldn’t hurt to be too careful, in case for some reason tanning lamps were a part of the study. He didn’t know if those would affect him, but he didn’t want to find out.

Sai’s thoughts skipped a beat when they reached the question of eating anyone. He tried not to glance down at his shirt to check that it was clean of blood. Of course it was. He’d put on a fresh one just this evening.

A couple of things clicked into place. Sunlight, eaten anyone… he was standing before he knew it. Muscles tense. “I don’t think this is a drug study,” he said slowly. “I don’t know much about drug trials, but I don’t think you’re supposed to ask questions like that.” He watched the researchers. Were they slayers? If they were, why would they post a public ad that any human would have been able to find? None of this made sense.

He shot a glance at Thea. Was she a vampire too? But she was saying something about the full moon. A werewolf, maybe? That might make her some help if the “researchers” started pulling out stakes. But for all he knew, she could turn out to be a wererabbit instead, or something about as useless.

“No, this is all routine,” said the researcher, tapping her pen calmly against her clipboard. “We have reason to believe it’s possible, and it would affect our results. Please answer the question.”

“I’ve never eaten someone,” Sai said, perhaps too confidently for a human who should be horrified by the question, still not sitting back down. $800 was a lot of money, but he wasn’t looking to die over it, either. He looked at Thea again, trying to catch her eye. It would probably be safer for the two of them to leave together, and he could hope she was something that was good in a fight.

—

The only person who was making any sense was Sai; this was not a typical drug trial, this wasn’t right. $800 wasn’t worth the violation of privacy and like, their rights or something (Thea didn’t know what she was entitled to, but she assumed it included not having to answer questions about the people she regularly ate). She opened her mouth to protest, but found the end of a cotton swab scraping her mouth instead. She spat it out and rose quickly, knocking her chair back. “Not cool! I didn’t consent! I mean, I did consent, like on paper, but I didn’t consent in the moment!” Redness bloomed from her warm cheeks. “I won’t stand for this! I mean, I am literally standing but not for this!” She straightened herself out, trying to stand tall beside Sai. 

Thea looked over at him and felt in that moment like Jean Gray; a bond of telepathy forming in her mind linking her to Sai. Or, at least, the most obvious thing to do now was leave, and she felt that Sai understood that. “We’re going,” she said. This could be her Dark Phoenix moment, though it occurred to her that going all evil probably included turning into the wolf and eating her new friend (and he was her friend now, wasn’t he?) Sai. She didn’t want to eat him and so, settled for Slightly Dark Phoenix, like a curtain half drawn to leave a room dim but not dark. She tuned the researchers out as she marched to the door, swinging it open and holding it. 

Slightly-Dark-Phoenix Thea puffed her chest out. “And I’m taking all of the donuts,” she said. “Come on, Sai.” And then she deflated. “Or, uh, come when you want I don’t want to boss you around–sorry.” 

—

As Thea stood up in protest, the researcher turned to Sai. “Absolutely not —“ he started, but was quickly subjected to the same treatment. Some sort of swap in his mouth. At least it didn’t burn. No holy water or anything like that. It would be a strange way to administer it, but who knew what these people were trying to do. Taken by surprise, Sai shoved the researcher away from him, sending the man flying into the wall opposite him in the small room. He didn’t really intend to, but he was hardly going to complain either. The most unnerving part was the way the researcher barely reacted. Like this was a normal part of the job or something. Just dropped the swabs in a couple of tubes they held in their other hand and then calmly stood, brushing off their lab coat. 

Sai didn’t plan to stick around to find out what came next, and Thea seemed to be on the same page. Even if she seemed to walk it back almost as soon as she said it, but this wasn’t the moment to be noncommittal. “We’re leaving,” he agreed, and took off out the door she was holding open. He was glad she was with him on this. As weird as the whole situation was, it would have been worse to be in it alone. “And I think you should leave the donuts,” he said, as he through the first room and past the food in question, then back out to the front doors. Locked now, but a normal door lock. Trivial. For a vampire at least. It was almost like they weren’t trying. But the whole evening had been weird enough, it was hard to say anything about what these people in lab coats wanted. The lock broke easily in Sai’s hand, and the doors swung open.

Never had he been more thankful that he’d found a good parking spot right out front. That had been less than an hour earlier, but it felt like awhile ago now. He pulled out his keys, as he ran up to his car and looked back for Thea.

—

Just as there was Antigone and Romeo and Juliet, so too was there Thea not getting the donuts she really wanted. More than the strange researchers, more than the fact she wouldn’t be getting her money either, Sai’s advice not to take the donuts stabbed through her chest. She thought this moment would sit among the great, storied tragedies. Then again, that meant someone would have to write about it, and Thea wasn’t a writer. She looked at Sai with wet eyes; wounded. This pain would just have to live inside of her, she thought, and carried on. With one last look at the donuts she wouldn’t have (because Sai was right, it probably wasn’t a good idea to eat donuts from these strange, offensive people), she shed a single tear for their sweet yeasty goodness and left. 

Above, the stars looked a little donut-y. The moon—thankfully not full—was like a crescent-shaped donut. Sai’s car was a car-shaped donut. Sai himself was a person-shaped donut. Thea felt inexplicably hungry and with it, the churn of something larger inside of her; the ever present spinning of the wolfish black hole. Thea shook her head. “Thank you!” She called out to Sai, approaching him slowly. “Uh, actually, can I have a ride? I walked here.” And the sooner she was back at Winter’s, the better; with her desire for donuts, even the trees were starting to look like éclairs. 

She might not have gotten her money. She might not have gotten a donut, but she did hope, at least, that she’d gotten a friend. And once the hunger subsided, that would mean far more to her than any chocolate glazed donut ever could. 

[sojutogo]

secret lovers au prompt:

There's a boxed-cupcake sitting innocently at the edge of Seungkwan's desk one Monday morning with nothing but a smiley written on the office-standard sticky note.

Now, weirder things have shown up on Seungkwan's desk considering he's employed in a very eccentric start-up where its CEOs show up to work in Hawaiian shirts and pastel pink khaki shorts and actually bonds with their employees (Seungkwan got caught in an impromptu Pilates class with the CFO last week and wow he's never looking the guy the same way ever again.) Needless to say, a cupcake with no sender is no big deal.

Seungkwan doesn't have to guess who sent it, though.

The blond gingerly picks up the pilfered stationery and despite having to work on the first day of the week at a god forsaken hour with only coffee as a breakfast substitute, a smile worms its way out of Seungkwan's face.

“Ooooh, got an admirer?”

Jihyo sidles up beside Seungkwan while carrying a box's worth of paper work in her arms which she unceremoniously dumps on her desk.

“I don't know,” Seungkwan lies. “Might just be a prank by the founders.”

Jihyo shrugs as she grabs her swivel chair and plops on it with the ease of a five-year old office worker that's so close to being promoted into the top leagues. Seungkwan can feel it, Jihyo's going to get that promotion and as her desk mate for two years, Seungkwan will milk her joy for what its worth through copious amounts of jokbal and beer.

Seungkwan listened enough to her woes, he thinks it's high time for some consolation.

“Just don't forget to keep it under wraps, the higher-ups don't like fraternizing.”

And of course like Mondays are known for its proverbial character of being shitty as fuck, Seungkwan's mood dampens.

“This is nothing,” he laughs awkwardly and slips the sticky note at the back pocket of his pants away from Jihyo's hawk-like eyes, “It's probably just a prank.”

Seungkwan goes back to the paper work he left last Friday with a sigh.

The cupcake still in its kraft box, burns a hole in Seungkwan's desk.

-

“Did you like the cup–” Is how Mingyu greets him when they chance upon each other on the printing room.

Which is a lie when the two of them had meticulously studied their shifts and breaks to find a window of time where they can be in a room together and still look inconspicuous. They found out that Mondays at 2:30 PM while Seungkwan is off to printer duty for Jihyo and Mingyu is on his way to collect the reports he had printed earlier at 8:20 AM for his boss was their best shot if they ever want this dating thing to work without risking a flag from HR.

Out of all the things this company could ban, like maybe vaping in the damn cafeteria, they decided that their employees cannot live happy and fulfilled lives. Which, is to be expected from corporate but Seungkwan was hinging on the fact that they'd be different when he first got in for an interview and received a complimentary glass of Pinot Grigio afterwards.

Like what company does that besides theirs?

But as it stands, the dating-ban had been stated as early as when their company's first founder took out a loan from his Mom and built the company up with his bare hands and sleep deprivation and it seemed like it was going to stay.

Now, it's not like everyone follows the rule since Seungkwan knows a couple of employees fucking like rabbits in one of the conference rooms in the seventh floor but its pretty understood to keep things clandestine.

Which means absolutely no mystery cupcakes in Seungkwan's desk.

“Did you like them at least?” Mingyu asks, tall frame drooping like he's one of Seungkwan's dramatic houseplants he sometimes forgets to water. “I baked them myself.”

Now, if you put it like that it's quite hard to be mad at Mingyu especially when his metaphorical dog ears are pinned at the back of his head.

Seungkwan feels like he kicked a puppy, god damn it.

“I–” he sighs before looking around and when he sees that no one's actually paying attention to them, grabs Mingyu's hand and laces them together. “I loved it, thank you.”

The joy is instant on Mingyu's face and despite earlier's hiccup, Seungkwan finds himself smiling back.

“I'm sorry I wasn't discreet,” Mingyu mumbles as he tightens his hold on Seungkwan's hand. They're standing far apart to make it look like they're just a pair of employees talking but close enough to touch, “I'll leave the cupcakes at your door, next time.”

“Woah, getting bold now are we?” Seungkwan laughs as he squeezes Mingyu's hand back, “At least take me out on a date first!”

“Tomorrow after work?” Mingyu asks as they break apart when someone starts walking in the room.

Seungkwan, still feeling the warmth of Mingyu's hand on his own, mirrors the younger's smile.

“Yes, Mr. Kim. I'll have the files ready by 6:30 PM.”

[cowboyified]

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My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I adore that little headshake thing dean does when he's spitting out something angry, "he was an obsessed bastard" and "what's dead should stay dead" like a dog, bite and rip and tear it up

66 notes • Posted 2021-10-03 15:48:56 GMT

#4

first-time-in-a-long-time hits so well with samdean. i love the idea of them fooling around s1-2 era, to then be too busy with dying and not dying and saving the world to bring that bag-of-worms back into play. late bunker era s14~ when they’re more comfortable with themselves and their lives and the damnation of it is less relevant, slipping back in with each other and remembering how it was and how they’ve changed... peak

69 notes • Posted 2021-07-30 09:31:37 GMT

#3

im never not thinking about mystery spot unrequited wincest

75 notes • Posted 2021-07-17 03:08:10 GMT

#2

"They think we're in love" for wincest please

At a beachside resort in Florida there are disembodied knives dancing around the kitchen, second degree burns from boiling soups tipped over hands nowhere near handles and hypothermic staff found in the walk-in after hours. 

They trudge in with grubby duffels over their shoulders and stand out amongst brightly coloured beach-goers with mini-wheeled suitcases. When the concierge says you must be here for the couples retreat Sam says yes and Dean says no.

Sam is taller and louder and generally more domineering when he wants to be, so Dean covers his response with a cough and plans a vicious assault on his brother for when no one will be able to hear him cry for help. The woman at the desk is giving Dean flighty little looks and Sam is smiling bright like he’s won something. 

Dean steps back, wholly unequipped to deal with whatever is going on here, flips through the magazines next to the complimentary cucumber and watermelon sparkling water and pretends he can’t hear her jovially listing off the weekend’s planned activities. Dean readjusts his bag and thumbs through Men’s Health in attempt to quash whatever disastrous impression he’s giving off to make her assume he and Sam are fucking.

Which they are. 

But that’s not the point.

Sam had kissed him three months ago like he’d had the terminal desire to for a lifetime. Short and fast and crushing and Dean hadn’t pried for the how-longs because it didn’t matter when a week later his hands were down Sam’s pants and Sam was burying his face into Dean’s jugular making unholy little noises into his skin. 

Sam didn’t need to go parade it around. He prays his brother is checking them in under different surnames.

Sam returns to him with their room key. He looks like he’s about to slide an arm over Dean’s shoulders for show but thinks better of it when Dean raises his metaphorical hackles and threatens to bite. Sam spreads his hands in surrender, the key dangling from his fingers, Dean reads the number and heads towards the elevator with Sam on his heels. 

He jabs the number five and then the close-door button repeatedly so Sam has to Lara Croft his huge body between the gap to make it in time. It makes Dean laugh and dislodges some of his anger.

The ride up is awkward and Dean clicks his tongue, rolls back and forth on his heels, thinks about what could have been. “If I wasn’t so pissed we could have been making out right now, just so you know.” 

Sam actually looks pained. “Cruel, Dean.” 

The bell chimes and the doors open onto a wide carpeted hallway. Their door is at the end because of course it is. 

The room is stupid. Grossly lavish. It’s so obviously a couple’s suite; there are pink rose petals scattered on the bed and an ensuite separated by a wall with built in shutters.

On the pros side, the television is half the size of the wall and they’ve got an awesome view of the long strip of beach through the floor to ceiling window. There’s also a mirror above the bed which Dean can’t think about right now, he’s trying to be angry.

“Cool, you’ll have a nice dying view for when I murder you,” Dean says gesturing towards the window while trying to push down the urge to fall face first onto the hundred thread count bedsheets.

“I didn’t expect it to be this fancy,” Sam says, snooping around in the bar fridge. “And it’s not like I planned it either. It’s just less suspicious this way.”

“They think we’re in love.” Dean says, unable to look directly at the heart-shaped complimentary soaps.

Sam laughs like it’s the funniest joke he’s ever heard. Fucking lunacy; Sam stands and says, “I am in love with you, Dean.” 

He flounders. 

It’s not something that should stump him this bad. Of course Sam loves him, he’s told him that before - since he was old enough to get his mouth to sound out the words. With his actions, more recently, the saving-his-life kind and the sucking-his-dick kind. 

It is in desperate need of redefining, the word love. The way he feels for his brother is too big to fit within its four letters. It isn’t conventional romantic love and it isn’t brotherly love. There is no word for this. Love feels too trivial. 

Dean walks over to his brother, jabs a finger hard to his sternum. “You better start thinking about how you plan to make it up to me then, because I sure as shit ain’t doing the couples beachside yoga and massage.” 

Sam grabs his finger so he can’t get away, leans in to kiss him once. “They have a twenty-four-hour all you can eat buffet.” 

And all is forgiven.

89 notes • Posted 2021-10-04 09:38:02 GMT

#1

117 notes • Posted 2021-08-17 06:02:54 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[purekesseltrash]

This is my final ask talking about BTD so it has to be perfect, I literally created a google doc so I wouldnt fuck it up before I sent it

Shoji replaying a song over and over while doing a task reminded me of when I listened to “Ophelia” by The Lumineers on repeat while drinking coffee on my kitchen counter and lemme tell ya, I’ve been chasing that high ever since

Yeah knowing you'd have *some* family but not all of them after coming out sucks major ass but its the truth, I'm ever so grateful that the only person who would react negatively that I know would be my maternal Grandmother whos a narcissistic bitch who I haven't spoken to in years so like, i dont give a shit what she thinks but I know that it would be hard on Shoji seeing how family oriented he is in this story and him knowing his relationships with his siblings and parents would be rocky makes my heart break for him

OOOOO BITCHHHHHH HES TEXTING HIMMMMMMM

That went over a lot smoother than I thought it would, I mean i'm incredibly happy that they’re like, getting together, but I honestly expected it to be more drawn out

Awww Tokoyami getting their as fast as he could and Shoji being soft for domestic Tokoyami

Sweet jesus I can relate to Shoji just randomly thanking his friend for being his friend, the amount of times I’ve wanted to just ominously text my friends a “thank you for everything” is too many to count

I LOVE GRITTY, HE REMINDS ME OF MY CAT WHOS A MAINE COON (his names Chewie if you're interested)

I knew Mic would suck at cooking, its just so him

I practically squealed at Shoji changing Tokoyami’s contact name to Fumikage

Okay, little background story, I keep a list in my notes app of headcanons for Tokoyami and literally one of them on there says word for word “Dogs absolutely love him and he loves them right back” so im SO GLAD you made him a dog person, making him a cat person seems like the easy route

LAWYER MOM IS INTRODUCED i honestly didn't picture her as a blonde but now I see it

Tokoyami’s mom being incredibly enthusiastic reminds me a lot of my mom, she always get excited when people have pride flags hanging up and suggested we get a pride flag so that made me appreciate my mama more than I already have been

I swear to god my eyes got as big as saucers hearing the part about cheesecake because I'm from New Hartford and forgot Hartford was a different city.

I can just picture Aizawa SLAMMING the brakes and whipping his head around, hair flying, as he looks at Shoji

“And he let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding” how much more cliche could you get, not gonna lie that made me laugh

All right I have to confess something. I've skipped every transcript of Put Your Sticks Up because I was impatient and wanted to get to the story. Now you know my biggest secret, I always felt bad but would get frustrated cause I wanted to hear ‘bout my boys.

The last precious worm ask! I am finally on my laptop so I can give this the proper attention.

Ngl, when my head isn't working, I will just put on one song and play it over and over and over and over and over until something comes into my head. My ShinOji fic 'Gold Rush' came from that. Still not sure how I managed to make a somewhat decent fic out of a song about gentrification but my mind is a wild and wonderful place.

Yeah, Shouji goes through it with his family. One thing that I can say though is that as Shouji starts to get more and more successful with his art, Tokoyami starts to spitefully send articles and reviews written on his work to his parent's house. He never gets a response but doesn't expect to, he just feels like they should see how amazing their son is, goddamnit. The one day, a letter comes back. Tokoyami opens it, expecting it to be them telling him to knock it off and instead, one of the pictures has been sent back with 'This is beautiful' written in pen, an arrow pointing to one of his vases. Tokoyami then has to show it to Shouji and explain what he did. Shouji cries basically all night. That starts a very, very tenuous back and forth with his mom.

Gonna put the rest of this under a break because it's gonna be long

You should have seen my first outline if you thought this was quick with them figuring it out. Basically, the only reason that Tokoyami broke it off in the first place was because he didn't see that there was a chance of it working. They worked so well otherwise. Amazing chemistry, complimentary senses of humor, Tokoyami didn't want to break it off at all. He just felt like he had to because otherwise they were both going to get more hurt. So when Shouji was like 'okay, but actually I do want to try this', he was all in.

Ojiro is legit Shouji's first real friend. Which is really really sad given that they met when they were eighteen but Shouji never really got a chance to do anything normal.

Maine Coons rule and Chewie is an excellent name for them. I was going to name their cat after Marie Phillipe Poulin, the greatest women's hockey player ever, but I decided that Gritty would be funnier. Mic as a bad cook is deeply satisfying, I picture him being like me, just all 'okay but I just do enough to make something to survive on and uh.... who needs all the details and stuff'.

The name change actually came from my beta. They asked why his contact was still Western Civ Tutor in the beginning of the chapter and I was like 'oooo, great way to show how they have changed'.

And maaaaaaaaaan. I'm sorry but how is someone who is a bird gonna like a cat. Nah. Tokoyami is a dog person. They do go on to get a dog. They were going to get a Shiba Inu or something catlike until Kenta came through with a hound puppy that he'd found in the rain while on his route and just dumps it in Shouji's lap like 'Surprise!'. They name it Lu after Roberto Luongo, famed goalie. The dog is a goddamned menace and Shouji ends up having to take it to classes and learn about dog training so they can all keep their sanity. He ends up loving Lu the most. (I do some part time dog training so I had to throw that in)

Tokoyami dyes his hair. He's actually a mousy blond under the dye like his mama. And yeah, my parents are hella supportive too. I figured it would be healthy for one of them to have accepting parents.

Aizawa was pretty pissed, ngl. For all that he should know better, he got caught up in the same shit that coaches tend to slip into, which is a responsibility because they have someone with potential that they must mold and then when they go on to do amazing things, they can feel a part of it. But then he realizes where he fucked up and how he was so busy seeing Shouji the hockey player that he couldn't see Shouji the person.

Listen, it's my fanfic, so I'm gonna get as cheesy as I damn well please. I'd written a super cheesy ending for the end of 'Black Sun' and was waffling on keeping it until somebody was like 'it's a fic, be as cheesy as you want'. I can has my cheese, as a treat.

WHAT IN THE FUCK WORM. HOW CONFUSED HAVE YOU BEEN THIS ENTIRE TIME?!?!?! this legit made me laugh out loud when I read it. GO BACK AND READ MIC'S SHOW!!! I set up so much stuff to try and prepare the reader to understand the emotional stakes, not to mention the basic facts of hockey! That being said, I get the feeling.

Thank you for this last super mega grande worm ask, sorry that it took me so long, I wanted to be able to give it my full attention. <3

[beverageenthusiast]

let’s get personal (questions!)

thank u for tagging me molly ur friendship is like a worm tender embrace and some of these questions were very original i have never heard nor answered before <3 @cl0wnapologist​

1. say hi! :D (name/age/pronouns)

alyssa, 20, she/her/(and mayhaps......they? we’ll see about that one)

2. what’s your venus sign? <3

pisces

3. would you rather people perceive you as the person you present to the world or your true self? are they the same?

i don’t want anyone to perceive me thanks

4. what do you prioritize in your relationships—how well someone treats you or how much you like them?

it depends because if i don’t like u then why are we having relations but if u don’t treat me well then u should die. i think both are important.

5. what’s the most embarrassing fanfic you’ve ever read?

i’m SURE there are other ones but what comes to mine is the milk fic (don’t remember who it was about) or the dan and phil hamster fic

6. would you rather be fluent in every language or a master of every instrument? if you could only pick one of each what would it be?

fluent in languages! if i could pick one of each i would wanna be fluent in an eastern asian language and play piano.

7. share some of your favorite characters!

the gay one from ouran, dean craig pelton from community, howl and calcifer from howl’s moving castle. any vaguely homo/pessimistic character 

8. what’s a niche interest/subject you could write a 12-page essay on?

the subtle art of making vegetable spring rolls: a guide for white people who want to pretend to be cultured

9. what are you missing the most right now?

the girl reading this <3 also sonic blue raz lemonade slushie

10. hottest non-human animated character? (ex. zootopia fox, ryuk from death note, aunt fanny from robots)

howl jenkins. he is technically not human i think that suffices. marceline is a vampire idk if that counts either. 

11. share some of your old urls/handles/usernames (i’m looking at u, 1D insta with 70 followers from 2013)

pizzalyssa, lukeycharm, niallsjelly (my parents found my 1d spam twitter account somehow and read a tweet i made about a kid in my middle school being gay (derogatory) and they made me delete it), 2006ghost, what-png, there has to be more but i genuinely don’t remember 

12. what’s a favorite physical feature of yourself? what are some favorite physical features of your friends/loved ones?

i like the way my hair dries and the color of my eyes. all of my friends have beautiful smiles, i love my bfs nose and eyes, jillians freckles, mollys fat tits

13. what’s a favorite personality trait of yours? of your friends/loved ones?

i’m a really hard worker. big fan of the shared sense of weird cynical humor between me n my homies and their artistic talents

14. describe a recent time someone made you feel loved/valued

bf got me a mighty lemon drops vinyl for my birthday and i almost cried. that shit is SO fucking rare in the united states i genuinely can’t believe he got it

15. what’s the most embarrassing character you’ve been attracted to?

lola the fish from shark tale

16. gayest thing you’ve done recently? (complimentary)

genuinely appreciated my homies

17. gayest thing you’ve done recently? (derogatory)

become active on tumblr again OR spent $35 on alcohol that should’ve been much cheaper and drunkenly demanded money from kevin

18. what are your comfort movies/shows/books/foods?

howl’s moving castle, daniel sloss standup comedy, ouran (probably), vsauce, jenna marbles :(  

19. last 5 things you looked up in your youtube search bar/history?

searched: pewdiepie, animusic, lighthouse movie theories, dan howell coming out video, make my dog howl (for draco purposes)

20. should we kiss rn? :*

say less

tag ur mutuals to do this!

@the-bean-god @wherearethelionhearts @yuckberry @shysora @un-bearably @aggressivelyenthusiastic @cl0wnapologist

[migleefulmoments]

Reality Check on TSG and Darren: Dissecting the Lies the ccers repeat.

The obsession with Mia and TSG returned as soon as Elsie was over- just as predicted. I find it so odd that a handful of women with NO intention of ever stepping foot in TSG have such an obsession with keeping tabs on negative Yelp reviews. How often they must check Yelp in order to catch every one.  hot of the press so they can blast it and rage over the problems. But even more curious is that they never actually vet the reviewers themselves for their validity. Several of the negative reviews the fandom delighted over were clearly written by people who have never been to the bar and were influenced by Abby’s theories including the one who complained about the vaginas dripping on the bar and the one who complained about Open Dyke Night and then admitted she was underage and half a world away. 

Here is TSG overall score: 

With 118 review they are at 4.5 stars so these 1-star reviews are not the norm.  Most review look something like this 

or this

Now let’s look at this recent lot that Cassie decided to bring to ccers’ attention.  

cassie1022

(Well Megan, it depends on what night you were there. They close at 1 am on Tuesday and Wednesday).

(If the door people are turning people away an hour before closing, Mia needs to know and the Yelp review will be helpful  But since the vast majority of the 118 reviews are very positive, this clearly isn’t a problem that occurs often).   

(This is the one that gets Abby’s fired up about.  I have no clue it it is true or if it this policy is posted anywhere. I will give them this one because I can’t check anywhere.  20% does seem a bit high for a bartender tip since they aren’t waiting on a table...anyone?)  

(Melinda, Melinda Melinda...I’m going to guess that by her comment that she is not 21. She gave the place 1-star because the bartender carded her. Basically that is it. She gave them a horrible review and ranted because there were frumpy old lady tourists in the bar, she insulted the drink taste and the price even thought it sounds like she wasn’t served and the bartender thought she looked young. I’m sorry but this smells wrong. But even more telling is the comment “If I am willing to buy your mediocre $20 glasses of urine then you bet I am old enough”. Notice she never says she is 21, she simply spits that she is willing to pay the price for the horrible drink and that qualifies her.  

Check out her Yelp page- she went to LONO after TSG and complained about TSG on that LONO’s review.  “BEST BAR OF THE EVENING! I came here after fleeing the depressing depths of Tramp Stamp Granny's in search of refuge. The bartender with the long red beard was incredibly nice! He was kind, considerate, and extremely welcoming. The drinks were superbly delicious!!!!! Everyone should come here”  I get the vibe she didn’t get served at TSG (Keep reading, there is another hint about her age at the bottom of this section) 

Back home in NY she gave Trader Joe 1-Star claiming she found a worm in her smoked salmon. That seems suspect since the salmon was smoked. She gave her local ice cream place 1-star and this charming review “There was a long, black hair rolled up into my ice cream, the plate that my "sweet treat" was made on was covered in ice and the remnants of previous orders, and the employees appeared to be quite overworked.  When I want ice cream, I don't want an accompanying side of pity for the workers and disdain for the tedious, migraine-inducing procedure to make a mediocre ice cream. Also, the store was sweltering and I broke out into a beading sweat while waiting in the purgatory-like line.” The only places Melinda likes are a hot dog place and a pizza joint. The pizza joint got 5-stars “By far the best pizzeria ever; my existence would be trash without Emilio's. Oozy, gooey goodness that tastes like ambrosia regardless of the toppings. While the employees are lacking in the common customer service charm that we are force fed as a society, they have a higher level of pizza IQ than the rest of us average mortals. I guess that's what happens when you spend your days cultivating the food of the gods.”. But my favorite review of all is for 5-star review for her favorite hot dog place “Very delicious, savory hot dogs. The location is prime with it being directly behind the high school, however, the large line every single day can get a bit tedious. If only they would expand and open an extra window.” Now why would an adult care that it is located near the high school? It would seem that the person who calls the location “prime with it being directly behind the high school” but also notes that it the line is large every single day is a high school student.  Of course she could be a teacher who eats hot dogs everyday and is between the ages of 22 and 30 (any older and she would not be that upset that the bartender thought she looked young) but her comments reek of teenager.) 

(I have no clue what David’s issue is.  Is this a viable complaint to leave on Yelp? It sounds like David has a personal issue with the guy working the door.)  

Now the ccers chime in: 

ajw720  While all of these are bad, how are they getting away with unitemized bills that include gratuity with no policy plainly in site? I totally understand charging gratuity and have absolutely no issue with it, but it needs to be clearly stated, because if it is not, that is tricking customers into tipping twice. Disgusting.

Can we please separate d from this horrific establishment? Not only is it utterly misogynist and offensive in nature, with theme nights where the name is considered hate speech, it is repeatedly cited as poorly run.  First a 5% upcharge on ice and now we learn they charge gratuity automatically on bills of $80 or more without clearly stating the policy. That should be written on the bill handed to the customer.  Unacceptable.  

(Can we please separate d from this horrific establishment? No, Darren is married to the owner and considers himself an owner. What did he say the other day? “It’s my bar too because we are a unit” or something like that.  

Not only is it utterly misogynist: TSG is NOT misogynistic. You dont understand the word .

and offensive in nature: TSG is NOT “offensive in nature” to most grown adults. You can find it offensive but you do not get to dictate what the rest of the world finds offensive. Your attitude is no different from the Christians who claim they won’t serve LGBTQ customers because it is against their religious beliefs in that you are both putting your morals, values and beliefs on someone else and declaring that it is offensive to all of us. If you find it offensives then don’t give them your business. Period 

with theme nights where the name is considered hate speech: The theme-night names that you find so offensive and are labeling “hate speech”, are in fact words the LGBTQ is using to empower their community. “Open Dyke Night” was named- and is hosted by- a lesbian who uses the word to empower lesbians. These theme nights you find so offensive are NOT for you. They are nights for the LGBTQ community to come to a space that is safe and enjoy the company of others in the community just like them hence Open Dyke Night is for lesbian women to come together with other lesbian women and enjoy a night of singing and celebration. 

it is repeatedly cited as poorly run.. : It is NOT “repeatedly cited as poorly run” by anyone who isn't named Abby, Cassie, Leka, and Flowers. The bar has 4.5 stars overall and a lot of 5-star reviews. This is exactly what NadiaCreek was talking about when she said “You are denying a reality that is obvious and that gets more and more evidence with every passing day. You are tricking yourself into seeing patterns that are not there, by obsessing over small details and ignoring a mound of evidence for the opposite, true conclusion. That kind of thing can and will pour over into areas of your life that do matter. Denying reality in any area of the world is a dangerous game that can and will impact the rest of your life”. THIS is so important.  

First a 5% upcharge on ice and now we learn they charge gratuity automatically on bills of $80 or more without clearly stating the policy. That should be written on the bill handed to the customer: A 5% up-charge on ice was mentioned by one person. I wouldn't be referencing that based on one person’s random comment. The 20% gratuity is again only one person complaining so I wouldn’t sink my teeth in to this one until you know a lot more)  

klaineownsmysoul

When you have a “venue operator” masquerading as an owner who knows nothing about how a business should be run and obviously couldn’t care less, what do you expect?  They couldn’t be bothered fixing the air conditioning last summer and laughed it off as a joke.  Pretty sure at this point its obvious this wasn’t some sort of “life long dream” of hers to own a bar like they’ve pushed; more like a dream to have a place where she can drink for free and have her pic taken while people kiss her ass and call her wonderful.  There is not an ounce of D in that place.  His shoelaces have more integrity than this place.

(You have no clue what the business end of TSG is and comments like how she is “masquerading as owner” are so obtuse and stupid they defy logic. She is the owner and the bar is busy. But it doesn’t matter if it is failing and barely hanging on- it isn’t any of your business-that’ss between Mia, Darren and Danny and their landlord and vendors. It’s really sad and disgusting that you want Darren’s bar to fail. CCers want to be taken seriously -Abby constantly complains that the stans won’t listen to the various cc tropes -and yet you make nonsense statements like this...this is one big reason why you aren’t taken seriously. You WANT Mia to fail and you WANT TSG to go away but that is not the same thing as it actually failing or Mia being a clueless boss. In fact, her employees have said very nice complimentary things about her being a fabulous boss and they are far more credible evaluators than the cc fans who have never been to the bar and  simply believe Abby’s fantasy tropes about the bar and Mia failing. You have no idea if she cares or doesn’t care and again, it isn’t any of your business. It’s her business to drive into the ground or make it a roaring success. Darren’s fans don’t get a say in the matter other than to either be a customer and pay for drinks or don’t give them your business. 

Patrons continue to go to the bar and I have not seen complaints about the lack of A/C except on opening night.  It is just as much Darren’s bar as Mia’s- so you believe Darren didn’t care about the A/C and laughed it off as a joke? When? Or is it that A/C was out a few days over a year ago and you are still using that as fuel for your rage about a bar that you have nothing to do with? 

“Pretty sure at this point its obvious this wasn’t some sort of “life long dream” of hers to own a bar like they’ve pushed; more like a dream to have a place where she can drink for free and have her pic taken while people kiss her ass and call her wonderful” Again comments like these are why you aren’t taken seriously.  Mia owns the bar. Whether you like it or not, she owns the bar.  You simply don’t like that she isn’t the bar manager-she pays people to do that.  The owner is the one who hires and trains staff, makes decisions about the menu and what alcohol will be offered, writes the policies and procedures,   plans the calendar and makes payroll. She pays other people to run the bar day-to-day and that pisses you all off because you can’t see her at the bar and criticize every moment that is uploaded to social media. What she does is all behind the scenes and not Instagramable. But it doesn’t mean she isn’t working. There is a thing now called the internet and it makes doing a lot of the work of running a bar doable from a wide varsity of locals.  .  

Your comment that “there is not an ounce of D in that place” leaves me shaking my head. When you guys say things like this it just proves that you don’t know anything about Darren. You spend your time looking for Blaine and you're right- the bar has nothing to do with Blaine but it has Darren written all over it. The cc fandom spends all of their time and effort looking for the Darren they want to see and it’s a lot of work. You have to reject a lot of what you see and blame it on his team for making him be the bro’ dude that you can’t stand. You have to find videos and look at them frame by frame to find the moments you believe are the ‘real’ Darren aka the one you want to see. You have to cut out those precious few seconds, slow them down,  and  turn them into gifs and THERE...THERE IS the Darren you know and love.  But while you are doing all that work you are missing the real Darren. The one who is right there in front of your face but you don’t like because he isn’t Blaine. Darren’s footprint is all over the bar- from the elegant debauchery of the decor to the sexual puns on the signs and the drink names that IS Darren Criss. The piano at the center of the room-Darren’s piano- that he uses to connect with people through music and the fact that it is a piano bar that plays covers is all Darren. Mia plays very different music when she performs and yet the bar is literally based on what Darren does best- play the piano and sing covers while those around him join in. The place is ALL Darren-you just don’t like the real Darren.)        

flowersintheattic254

You know so many things were attempted to try to make M look like a career woman, with a viable business, shared interests with D and not a beard without taste or work ethic.

I think the bar will likely last as long as the fake marriage as M isn’t interested in it when D isn’t there to hang off and when you consider when it opened and how the encage went down.

M hung around bands when she was younger due to her fathers businesses. She likes being around famous, talented people. The bar gives her the opportunity and venue to continue her groupie inclinations.

I’m absolutely glad that D has been too busy recently to be there.

The most influence he may of had was with the whiskey choice.

(I don’t know why it’s so hard for you all to understand that Mia had several jobs and now she is owns a bar. The fact that you feel entitled to criticize her for her career decisions and make comments about her taste level is pure misogyny. Darren has also had lots of jobs and you don’t criticize him and the punny sex jokes are all Darren and yet you attribute them to Mia- that’s misogyny. Mia didn’t write Me and My Dick, Darren did, he loves the puns.   As for shared interests...he married her. Their shared interest is the family and the life they are building together.

How long the bar is open is yet to be determined but given that your record for predictions regarding Darren and Mia is abysmal, I’m not going to sweat it. The idea that Mia “hung out with bands” as a kid and the piano bar gives her the opportunity to hang out with famous people-I just can’t. She hangs out with far more “famous people” and musicians just going to events with her husband then she ever will at Darren’s piano bar. 

Her “groupie inclinations” WTF is a “groupie inclination”? I don’t even know what to say to that because I have no clue what a groupie inclination is. It’s really sad that you are so happy that Darren isn’t connecting to people though music since that means so much to him. He recently was asked if he had a need to be on stage and he said no, he has never had that need but what he does "NEED” is to connect to people though music and he also has said that playing the piano while people sing along gives him that connection.  I shouldn’t be surprised that you are gleeful that Darren hasn’t had time to spend at the bar he created in honor of his beloved Marie’s Crisis, your fan-girling over Darren has never been about Darren, it’s always been about you).  

leka-1998 Too bad you can’t actually call forgetting about that place most of the time and drinking the money they force people to spend a career. She’d be truly successful. It’s really her bar and D’s just the piano man, right? So if that could stop too, that would be nice.

(You really need to stop slandering Mia, she doesn’t drink anymore than Darren. You never call out Darren’s drinking but then again, it’s just your misogyny speaking-it always comes. The bar is Mia and Darren’s. When he says he’s just the piano man, he is just taking the attention from himself and giving it to her.  Darren does this a lot with people he cares about.  But he has been very clear that the bar is his and Mia’s. I know words are hard for you guys, you get so caught up in the meaning of the word that you fail to hear the message. Anyone paying even a little attention t Tramp Stamp Granny’s would realize that is Darren’s bar through and through. Someday maybe you can all stop looking for the Darren you like, stop obsessing about what this word means or that word, stop slowing down videos and clipping the out the 3 seconds you like  and instead  you can just listen to the Darren that is right there in front of you and HEAR what he has to say.  It will be revolutionary.  Listening to other people without assumptions is the very least you can do..literally it is the least).    

[ceruleanmusings]

Soft OC Asks!! - 🍄 🌻 🌳 🌸💦 for Mel ^_^

🍄 What are your OCs favourite snacks? Their favourite comfort food which always cheers them up when they’re down? Favourite meal to make? Do they enjoy baking and cooking and are they any good in the kitchen?

Mel loves anything sweet so candy and junk food are her favorite snacks. Starburst, gummy worms, brownies, cookies, cupcakes, etc. Her favorite comfort food is macaroni and cheese or fried chicken or poutine (I mean, if given the chance, she’ll eat all at once because they’re very complimentary for a meal). Her favorite meal to make is steak with mashed potatoes. It’s not that she doesn’t enjoy baking it’s just that she tends to do it when she’s stressed.  (Which her friends benefit from, she can make a plethora of desserts in one night if she’s stressed enough.) But yes, she’s very good in the kitchen.

🌻 What little things do they notice about people or the world around them that make them happy? What tiny little treasures do they find in the normal every day that makes the world seem a little brighter for them?

Mel notices a lot. She’s a very observant person so she’s the sort to take the time to stop and smell the roses. Literally. She notices the way peoples’ eyes light up when they’re talking about something they’re passionate about or the quiet that settles around friends comfortable and at peace with one another. Another is the way people smile at each other when they’re walking through a park on a beautiful day.

When it comes to little treasures, for her, it’s something simple like the way a dog’s tail wags when they’re excited, or the sound sprinklers make, the way campfires smell, hearing laughter, little kids saying “hi” to everyone, the sound of rain tapping against a window, finding a four-leaf clover, feeling the breeze on her skin. Basically anything that reminds her that she’s present and alive.

🌲 How deeply does your OC feel? Are they typically empathetic or do they have a hard time connecting with others in this way? What are they like when offering support and comfort to someone they care for?

She feels so deeply to the point that it’s overwhelming sometimes. Empathy is not only one of her powers but it’s something that she is known for. If someone is hurting she will hurt too. If someone is upset, she’ll be upset too. This makes her a good person to relate with and talk with to sort through their feelings though, sometimes, it takes a toll on her own emotional battery. When offering support or comfort, mostly, she’s quiet and sits close and lets the other person know that she’s there physically and emotionally. She can sense when someone needs a hug or just wants silence or wants to take their mind off the situation altogether and do something else. It’s her biggest asset but also one of her cons because she puts so much into others that she’ll suffer herself before letting anyone else in. She has a very well practiced, well-used, and well believed “everything is fine! I’m fine!” smile.

🌸 What are some of their favourite things and why? List as many as you can think of! 

Music/singing, puppies, mythology, flowers, poetry, candy, cookies, supernatural/paranormal, lacrosse, ice skating, ice hockey, glitter, swimming, lifeguarding, piano, the beach, parties

💦 If you as the writer could erase one traumatic event from this OC’s life what would it be and why?

Accidentally killing her childhood best friend. I haven’t had a chance to touch on this yet, only giving hints, but it messed with her psyche. Part of her happy-go-lucky, sunshine smiley child-like personality is because her brain can’t move on from the event. So it can lapse or stick in the stage she was back then which is kind of why she’s so ditzy and carefree and childish when moments are serious. Because she can’t handle serious or traumatic moments. Granted, if I took that out and/or changed it her fic and story would be COMPLETELY different but sometimes I am mad at myself for making her go through that XD.

Send in a soft OC ask and an OC

[viraltnteam]

5 Of The The Majority Of Common Dog Health Problems

Family pet health For every single dog owner, the health of their animal is very important. While it's impossible to totally keep your dog disease complimentary, there are some common dog health issue that can be recognized early on. In order to comprehend your dog much better, have the ability to recognize the symptoms and signs of these 5 common illness.

Ear infections Probably the most common disease for dogs is ear infections. These are caused by allergies, ear mites, bacteria, and other irritants. Most dogs will get some sort of ear infection, especially dogs with larger ears. If your dog starts to shake its head and scratches its ears frequently, check to see if the ear canal is swollen and red. Cleaning and medicating the ear regularly will soon get your dog back to its happy state! Harmful worms Another fairly common problem for dogs is worms. These internal parasites are difficult to notice, but can be even fatal and harmful for some dogs like puppies. There are a few signs that can indicate your dog has worms such as diarrhea, weight loss, a dry coat, a change in appetite, and an overall poor appearance. To diagnose at home is difficult, so be sure to take a dog to the vet when not sure if the dog may have worms. If worm infestation is suspected at an early stage then promt treatment is usually very effective. Fleas and more fleas As any dog owner knows, keeping your dog flea free is a challenge. While topical medications keep them at bay, a new pet or forgetting to use the medication will put your dog at risk for this health problem. If you think your dog has fleas, it probably does. Excessive scratching, hair loss, flea dirt, and hair loss are common symptoms of fleas in a dog. Since untreated fleas can cause further health problems for a dog, talk to a vet about flea medication for a dog. Generally this will include a flea bath and then using a topical medication every few months that will keep fleas away. Those hot spots One health problem that you may not think of is hot spots. This is a medical term for bare, inflamed areas on a dog's body that show up periodically. This is actually dermatitis generally caused by a bacterial skin infection. Since hot spots are caused by a variety of other problems like fleas, there isn't generally one recommended treatment. Generally, a vet will recommend antibiotics or a topical medication that will give relief in the area so that the dog avoids chewing or scratching it. Generally hot spots will clear up within a few weeks with treatment. Vomiting Finally, vomiting is a common health problem in dogs. There are dozens of possible causes that range from an infection, heat stroke, and even poisoning. Since many dogs will vomit up their stomach's contents after getting into something like the trash, generally they can be left alone. If a dog has blood in the vomit, is lethargic, or continues to vomit, seek out a vet as this is a sign of a severe problem. Early treatment These are 5 major dog health problems and some of the common causes and treatments. Most of these problems are mild and are treated effectively at home or with the help of a vet. Related Reading

dog health problems heavy breathing

[tumblunni]

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Man i was just thinking again about that idea i had for a cliche gijinka app card game where the gijinkas are all Interesting Bugs instead of weird sexy anime george washington.

I've kinda got quite attatched to my idea for a leech gijinka as a super cuddly white mage who just happens to look emo and scary. And they'd be a great opportunity for nonbinary representation cos in real life leeches don't have binary sexes anyway. But i cant decide between whether i want them to look like a full plague doctor mask thing or a more cliche cutesy nurse but theyre like super tall and look like the monster girl from the ring so they get sad that people always run away before they can help them! So then i was thinking "hey, alternate skins!" Not like in the other games ive played where there's always one canon skin and all the others require hours of grinding and/or real money to buy. But just that there's like three or so randomized versions of the base character with all the same stats but a different costume. Just to spice up the pool of options a bit! Or maybe it could even be more than just the costume and you can get entirely different reinterpretations of that job class? Like the medusa jellyfish could be either a young kid or a grandpa!

Oh and i'm not really sure how to name this or anything? Cos its not really a clear category of animals, its not all insects or all worms or whatever. More like just..all the animals that are unfairly hated but have Cool Biology Facts that i can babble at u to maybe make u like them more. So i dunno.. Pests? Creepy crawlies? Some entirely made up fantasy term for them?

Also i think the setting will definately be jrpg fantasy! Just a world where all these critters are actually funky people on a comedically bad D&D quest. I wonder who the villains could be tho? Maybe theyre gijinkas of more commonly loved cute animals? Or like.. Not gijinkas but monsterfied versions? Hilariously over the top evil fluffums! hamsters are this setting's dragons! And i dunno maybe the ultimate dark lord is a dog with a cat for a royal vizier or something, cos theyre the kings of popularity.

This could also make it actually make sense why the Clione character could be a beserker like in real life! Cos theyre the most un-hated rare sea slug for looking cute, but their actual personality is big scary predator. But in this universe being seen as cute by humans = evil, so the Clione's fighty doom personality would make perfect sense! Im not sure if i should make them like a tormented Shadow esque antihero or a paladin-looking knight who has a dark streak or maybe even a viking? Cos in videogames theyre like the epitome of 'loves fighting but is still a nice hugs guy'. And it'd be neat to have a chubby buff clione instead of the more cliche bishie gijinka. But then i mean theyre literally nicknamed 'sea angels' or 'sea fairies' depending on country so yeah? Oh or maybe that could mean i make them an elf or an angel but theyre still mega buff! Viking guy with lil chibi wings and halo!

Also randomly i think that Slug will be the other nonbinary character along with Leech. Cos well there's a lot of bugs who dont fit the human gender binary but i'd probably be a bit too obnoxious if i had like 90% enbies and noone else. I always think about like 'if this is my first game project i need to go at a small and reasonable pace with all the Big LGBT Feels', yknow? But then every idea i do is always my first game project cos ive never completed any of them yet XD

Anyway i think Slug would be a more fashionable bishie kind of androgenous character, while Leech is a relateable cuddly socially awkward one who wears a mask. But definately also looks stylish in their own way, and i'm sure Slug is always complimenting them and trying to bolster their spirits! Aside from being super fashionable i also think maybe Slug would be a wandering bard? Cos somehow slow animal -> lazy human -> free spirited instead to be less cliche -> bard. Also the whole 'bard rolls to seduce every boss' meme, lol! So Slug is a very nyeheheh tricksy flirty adventuring song person who aint take nobody's shit. Instead of being sleepy they sleep on the concept of low self confidence! Full and powerful pride at all times!!! Goal in life is to be beautiful AF and handsome AF and make everyone swoon at your feet and also recite an epic poetry so cool that your enemies straight up die from the sick burn. Tho i mean i don't think anyone could actually ACHIEVE that, lol! It might be obnoxious if i actually have a character who's basically 'enby people are literally perfect in all ways'. So i just think Slug is a big ol dork who's like the Gaston archetype of the comically overconfident flirt, but like a good and heroic version who actually respects when people say no to their advances. And is also a great BFF to Leech and tries to help them get out of their shell, because well of course Slug is out of theirs XD

Also actually i dunno whether they should all just be named after the animal or have thier own names but the animal is mentioned on their profile as a job class name or something? Cos it might get awkward once we get to more specific obscure bugs with longer names or ones who only really have a scientific genus name. I'd feel like i'd have to make them all wizards cos their names sound like spells! Oh MAYBE THEYRE SPELLS!! Like each character could chant their own scientific name when they use their ultimate attack??

Oh and maybe Slug and Leech could be just based on the species in general but have their alternate costumes themed after more specific rare subspecies? Like Slug could have nudibranch themed costumes cos the vibrant colours would fit such an elegant fashioniste~ And leech could just be an opportunity to talk about how there's subspecies of leech that dont drink blood, though this character is based on the ones that do because otherwise they wouldnt really have a unique job class, lol. Maybe their rarest alt costume is a fashionable orange ensemble that symbolizes both Slug taking them out for a night on the town in their finest to feel more comfortabke in their self confidence, and also just the fact there's an orange tropical leech. Its kinda funny cos there isnt such a huge range of different colours for leeches, its mostly just different barely visible patterns and a spectrum from greenish brown to brownish black, lol. And then suddenly a bunch of wildly different red and orange ones! And nothing in between! Really does seem like a surprise makeover from your bestie, yknow?

Oh and then when i was thinking about other potential relationships between different magic bug people, i thought of Daddy Longlegs! Cos thats a name confusingly given to multiple bugs of wildly different species who're all mistaken for spiders when they really arent. And this mythical nonexistant daddy longlegs spider also has the myth of having 'the strongest poison but its fangs are too short to bite you' which is COMPLETE nonsense based on nothibg cos how would it even survive in the wild if it cant hunt? But its a real cool myth so it could be an awesome excuse to make them have a move that gambles on either an instant kill or a self debuff. ALSO THEY ARE MARRIED

I was thinking they could be a duo of fabulous zorro-looking assassin dudes who were sent to assassinate each other but instead fell in love and quit the business for good. Like 'you made me want to live again, and the only reason i threw my life away on this job was cos i wanted to die'. And to atone for all the bad mercenary stuff theyd done in the past, now theyre robin hood esque mercenaries who take jobs with world-saving hero groups like our protagonists. And they work for free as long as the cause is just! And they wish they could settle down someday and dream about having children of their own, but they feel like they dont deserve it after all that theyve done. They'd be a rare goofy bugmans that actually have a real emotional backstory! So anyway they're fancy fencing guys who're both the same class but maybe slightly different variants with different stat builds or abilities? More specialized and all. Like maybe one is speedy but weaker and one is slower but stronger? Or one relies more on luck based attacks and one is a consistant damage dealer but has a lower max damage cap? Or even one is status effects and one is attack and really even though they have the same job name theyre wildly different interpretations of it. Fitting for the entomology mistake husbands! I want them to be balanced so that they have special bonuses together but are still viable to use separately if your party setup only requires one of them. Also randomly i think their names would be Albedo and Rubedo? I was originally gonna make Rubedo the name of the leech cos i mean alchemy words and plague masks and all. But then it doesnt really SOUND like an alchemy word, it sounds like a fancy handsome dancer name. And then i started thinking about the cute once-sad-now-happy young assassin dads fighting together so well that it looks like one big dance between them, rather than a battle. And i got REAL EMOTIONAL over goddamn bug gijinkas! Man my heart is made of paper and mush!! Oh and maybe they have combo attacks together but also with all of the party members that are younger? Like special dad instinct combo! A built in ability that they automatically shield the kids from enemy attacks. YOU HIRED A MERCENARY BUT YOU RECEIVED A NICE MARRIED COUPLE WHO PROMPTLY ADOPT YOU. Oh and maybe their alternate costumes could just be each other's costumes? Like they'd already be wearing matching red and white versions of the same thing, but then albino dad wears ginger dad's version and vice versa. Or maybe their alt costumes are different complimentary colour pairs like black and gold or blue and pink? And maybe their ultra rare special costume is Big Cute Dorky Argyle Dad Sweaters! It must be capitalized cos it is IMPORTANT!

Oh and then i was also thinking about the idea i had before of bugs with a queen hive structure being like the workers are the common unit and the breeders and queens and such are rarer variants? But the workers are the only ones actually good in a fight, the others are just for collectables sake. Rare but useless, just like how the real queen bee is so big that she cant leave the hive, and never figjts a day in her life unless the kingdom has already fallen. So maybe queen bee is still unlockable as a rare character but she's just a support that makes worker bee stronger? Like you get a lil event of worker's boss coming to honor her with a knighthood for her good service, allowing her to upgrade her job class. Tho i think she still fights with construction work equipment, now its just like a golden jewelled shovel XD

[howtohero]

#053 Going to Hell

Some people spend their entire lives trying to avoid going to Hell so it might surprise you that some of the most superheroic individuals in history have willingly ventured into the Bad Place at one time or another for some reason or another.

There is a myriad of reasons for a superhero to have to or want to venture down into the mysterious beyond. Perhaps they are going to rescue the soul of a loved one or the wrongfully damned or a loved one of somebody who is blackmailing them (it’s very easy to find yourself being blackmailed into performing impossible tasks when you have a ginormous secret that you’re constantly trying to protect) maybe you’re returning a lost demon to the address on its collar, maybe you’re going down there to give Hades or the Devil or Greg the Skeleton King or whoever a good butt-kicking for some villainous action. Maybe an unfortunate side effect of your extreme power is that normal human, non-hellfire, saunas aren’t hot enough for you. Maybe you just lost a bet! Whatever the reason is, it often transpires that a hero needs to a quick way into the underworld.

One surefire way to get to the realm of the dead is to commit some evil acts and then die. The classic “push an old lady into oncoming traffic and then following her” move should do the trick. But then you’re condemning yourself to an eternity of torture and suffering and that’s probably not what you were looking for! So, for the still-living-and-still-loving-it crowd, getting to Tartarus is pretty much the same as getting anywhere else, public transportation. The Ferry to Heck runs eight times a day. You’d think it would run more often what with all the dead people it needs to cart around and you’d be right and it used to run every time someone died but then there was a strike and it was a whole mess so now it runs just eight times a day and the dead people just have to wait in an orderly fashion at the docks at the edge of the River Styx (just put edge of the River Styx into your navigation app of choice I’m not gonna sit here and draw you a map). So you’re gonna have to wait with them. And they smell bad. They smell like rotting flesh and regret. It’s a very uncomfortable experience. But on the bright side, dead people often are not in a rush to get to their eternal vacation at the damnation station. So they’ll usually let you cut in line. When you get on the boat make sure you say hello to Charon, the captain, and let him know that you are a living person. That’s the only way to secure a complimentary meal that isn’t worms or whatever it is dead people to eat (usually its worms but one time everybody got grilled cheese so you could risk it but I’d let somebody know that you’re not dead). When you meet Charon don’t be nervous, he can be a little bit scary but he’s a reasonable bloke. Try telling him a joke. He likes jokes and nobody ever tells him any. Say something like “Charon my good man you look stunning, drop-dead gorgeous.” He’ll laugh, you’ll laugh, you’ll get your grilled cheese, it will be a good time.

If you’re too fancy to ride on a ferry that floats on top of the souls of the damned there are some other options available to you. You or someone you know can conjure up a doorway to hell using the dark arts. Of course, this means going on a scavenger hunt to find lizard eyes and peacock feathers and Greek coins. If you’re in a rush you can always buy one of those prepackaged doorway to Hell kits that they sell in most Wal-Marts but those ingredients are usually artificial and don’t work nearly as well as fresh ones. You can also hire a wizard guide to the deadlands for pretty cheap, a lot of them deal in memories these days and those are priceless, so they don’t cost anything! Or you can jump on a demon right as they’re about to teleport back to their fiery homes (to lure a demon to your location in the first place I suggest using peanut butter, demons love peanut butter). Alternatively, if you’re already in Heaven, there’s a train that goes to Hel whenever you want it to. Lots of things happen whenever you want them to up there. It’s one of the perks of Heaven

Once you get to Hell there are  a variety of characters you might encounter. There’s Cerberus, the three headed literal guard dog from Hell but he (they?) are actually pretty easily dealt with. See, Cerberus is actually three times as much dog as regular doggos, so he (she?) loves dog things like playing fetch and belly rubs. If you’re going to play fetch though you need to bring three balls. For maximum distraction try throwing the three balls in three different directions. Additionally, music puts Cerberus to sleep (I wish music put me to sleep, then me and my neighbors who are in a band that I think is called “We Only Practice at Night and Gee Golly Are We Loud About It” would get along much better). Cerb’s favorite kind of music is heavy metal covers played on a harp but if you’re not strong enough or committed enough to lug a harp around with you into the afterlife he likes fiddles too. You’ll also encounter a variety of demons, dark angels, poltergeists, imps, telemarketers and all manner of ungodly evils. If you can avoid them great but if not you may have to fight some of them. They’ll probably try to stop you from freeing one of the souls they’ve come to love to torment so I hope you came prepared for fisticuffs. 

Stealing from Hell is a lot like stealing from anywhere. You’ll have to bypass the security guards as we’ve just discussed and then break any locks or riddles (they love riddles in Hell, also, speaking in rhyme) that stand between you and your goal. I actually recommend not going on this adventure by yourself. At the very least you’ll need someone who is familiar with the unholy magicks at work in the underworld but it would also be smart to bring someone who knows something about stealing things. If you can find a magician thief person that’d be ideal but there are only like seven of those and four of them are either in jail or already in Hell at any given time. You’re also going to want to avoid being noticed by whoever’s running the place on that day (all the major demons and Greg the Skeleton King have a rotation, just like I suggested superhero teams should do, maybe they read this blog). Once the Boss notices you mucking around stealing souls you’re almost certainly toast. Sometimes you can win your freedom by being a fiddle aficionado or by making some sort of horrific deal but usually that’s just instant damnation for you and your party. Then you’ll need someone else to come and save you and it becomes a whole cycle until everybody on Earth is in Hell because of you!

If you somehow, despite everything, manage to get to the soul that you’re after congratulations! Now what’re you gonna do with it? You need some means of transporting that sucker with you out of the underworld. Most jars can actually hold souls pretty well (But none as well as Jerry’s Homegrown Condiment Jars please think of us for all your eternally damned soul jarring needs!) But no containment will work as well as the person’s actual body. Plus if you get them back in their body you’ll have another couple of hands to help fight your way out of hell. Of course that means lugging around a lot of literal dead weight with you on the way in but I dunno, it might be worth it. (We did not actually authorize that advertisement and we don’t know how it got there.)

Infiltrating and exfiltrating Hell is very tricky and highly dangerous so I hope whoever you’re going in for was worth it. [Howtohero is not responsible for any eternal damnations that result from following the advice presented here.]

[funnynewsheadlines]

112 People Who Are Probably Having A Worse Day Than You (New Pics)

Their Flight Left 2 Hours Ago

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Went To Open My Fridge. Definitely Thought My Hand Was Connected Properly

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Stuck His Head In A Hole In A Tree To Take A Look, Guess What He Found

Can I Get My Money Back

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The Cable Guy Installed The Cable Through Our Hula Hoop That We Left Out

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Car Park Barrier Closed Before The Trailer Got Through

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So This Guy Paused A Video Of A Model He Wanted To Look Like And His Barber Mistook The Play Button Icon With His Desired Hairstyle And Shaved Triangles On Both Sides Of His Head

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Me, My Sister And My Best Friend (From Left To Right) At Our Graduation Trip. Fun Stuff

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Waited Almost 14 Years For This Moment, And Of Course I Missed It

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He Saw A Squirrel And Dragged Me Through The Mud On My Ass

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I’ve Been Using The Complimentary Towel At My Apartment’s Swimming Pool. Someone Just Told Me It’s A Towel For Wet Dogs

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My Brand New Roomba Ran Over My Puppy’s Shit And Proceeded To “Clean” The Rest Of My Home

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Threw My Swatter At A Fly. Don’t Ask Questions Because I Don’t Have Answers

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My Roof Caved In Last Night

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When The Snowplow ‘Nicks’ Your Car

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Machine Crashing After Winning The Jackpot

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Some Musicians Just Aren’t Smooth

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Uh Oh

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This Is What A $239 Textbook, Never Opened And Still In Plastic, Looks Like After Being Returned To The Same Bookstore That I Purchased It From

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Bet She’s Glad She Bought That Tire Cover

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I Proposed To My GF This Weekend And Proceeded To Drop The Ring Down A Gopher Hole

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Life Must Be Hard For Him

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Poor Megan

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This Big Guy And Three Of His Friends Got Into A Newly Built Montana House And Proceeded To Live There For A Month Before Being Found

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A Woman Put 1.5 Gallons Of Windshield Washer Liquid Instead Of Oil

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I Asked To Have It Edged Up So My Bangs Would Be Straight. Proceeded To Cut All My Bangs Off And My Entire Widows Peak. White Guy At A Black Barbershop Problems

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I Came In To Find My Tortoise Like This

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Pricey Chew Toy

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So Excited To Use My Pizza Cutter For The First Time

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Kids Playing With Fire Hose During Coast Guard Demo

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He Doesn’t Know It Yet. Sorry, Bro

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Found A Worm In My Lunch

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Your Day May Have Been Bad, But It’s Probably Not As Bad As ‘I Tipped Over A Satellite And It’ll Cost $135 Million To Fix’ Bad

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“Made iPhone Cookies To Trick Cops Into Pulling Me Over, I’ll Just Take A Bite And Ask If Cookies Are Against The Law”

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My Snowglobe Acted As A Magnifying Glass And Burnt A Line Into My Curtain

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The F Fell Off My Ford Fiesta Flame. Now I Drive A Ford Fiesta Lame

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My Friend Doesn’t Have A Screen On Our Flight To China Despite Everyone Else Having One

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I Lost My ****

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When Your Snickers Bar Taunts You

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Siberian Summer

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ATM Shut Down With My Card In It

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Damn

A Storm Came Through. The Plastic Furniture Barely Moved But The Grill Blew 30 Ft Into The Pool

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A Small Crash Revealed Just How Much Make Up She Had On

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Was Given A Heat Sensitive Mug For A Work Meeting

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Rip Random Pedestrian. These Are Dark Times

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Fridays Aren’t For Everyone

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Put My Visor Down In The Side To Block The Sun

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In Colorado, Due To Rock Fall, A 20 Mile Stretch Of Highway Now Has A 238 Mile, 4,5 Hour Detour

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When You Hit A Pot Hole On The Highway Doing 70 MPH

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How To Make Me Spend $60 Ft. My Dog

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Best Vacation Ever

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Oh No

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My Friend Works As A Cleaner Here

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Bitcoin Mining Farm Gets Flooded

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And I Thought I Hated Daylight Savings Time

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Finally Gave In And Let My Daughter Get A Cat. Turns Out She’s Allergic

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Finally Brought My Girlfriend To What I Promised Her Was The Best View She Would Have Ever Seen

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My Favorite Wedding Photo. I Got A Bubble In My Eye While We Were Leaving

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New Road Was Not Sealed Correctly. The Result

Trying To Even Out My Tan On My Lunch Break

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My Grandmother Almost Got Lost At Sea In Iceland

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Good Morning And Happy Valentine’s Day! Why Not Start Your Day Off With A Turmeric Smoothie?

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Accidentally Texted My Kids Teacher

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Cut My Finger While Opening A Package Of Band Aids

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How My Pizza Arrived

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Women’s Pockets Suck

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My Dad Bought A Soap From A Charity In 2016 And Only Today Opened The Box. Look What Was Inside! P.S. My Dad Is A Huge Football Fan

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Got Excited From Far Away About The Motel Having A Swimming Pool

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Just Drove To Class Early In The Morning Through Pouring Rain And Shitty Traffic After Sleeping Three Hours Last Night Only To Find This. How’s Your Morning Going?

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Sister Didn’t Mention That Her Dogs Have Fleas When I Said I’d Watch Them For Her

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Thought I Was Charging My Computer For A 6 Hour Road Trip. Guess Not

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How The Mailman Delivered The Vinyl I Ordered

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Dropped A Brand New Gallon Of Milk. As A Bonus, I Also Got A Flat Tire Today

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Don’t You Just Hate It When Your Entire Sink Collapses

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The Way The Corner Of The Table Found My Pocket

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Whoever Threw A Sink Into My Car Last Night

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Yesterday This Guy Put Ghost Pepper Popcorn In Our Industrial Microwave At Work For Over 5 Min

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The Door I Had To Get Through Last Night To Get To My Room

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Dude Lost His Shoe Right As The Subway Doors Closed

Heard A Crash, Knew My Whole Sunday Was Ruined

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Crashed Car And A Parking Ticket

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First Thing Monday Morning At My Shower Door Installation Job

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Guess Who Thought The Soy Sauce Was Syrup This Morning

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Guy’s Neighbors Left Their Car Windows Open Overnight

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After Two Weeks Of Excited Waiting We Open Our New TV And There Is A Nice Gift Waiting For Us

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Aston Martin Was Worth $1.5 Million

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This Is Why I Drink

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I Imagine This Person Just Went Straight Home And Spent The Weekend In Bed

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Our $1000 TV Just Got Shipped In

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Took My Buddy To The Grand Canyon For The First Time Today. Spectacular Views All Around

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At Work We Had A Power Outage, $10,000 Worth Of Ice Cream Fits In One Dumpster

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My Husband Works In A Liquor Store And Just Sent Me This Picture

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Anyone Curious What Happened After That Guy Ripped His Pants At The Wedding. I’m His Wife

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The Insurance Adjuster Fell Through My Dad’s Ceiling

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When You’re Trying To Put A 600 Pound Piece Of Tempered Glass In And You Hit A Tiny Piece Of Metal On The Corner. (Sounds Like A Gun Shot When It Explodes)

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My Brother’s Cabin (Which Is Now His Home In The Midst Of A Nasty Divorce) In Northern CA. Took Him 5 Miles On A Snow Mobile To Find This After Leaving Town For A Week

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Someone Out There Is Having A Really Bad Day That’s Worse Than Ours

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Playing Truth Or Dare

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Not Cleaning My *** With This

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When You Have To Slam On The Brakes

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My Cat Couldn’t Get To His Litter Box Because The Toilet Door Was Forgotten Closed At Night, So He Spilt The Litter Bag Himself And Pooped On It

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Today I Climbed A Mountain And Was Rewarded With This Incredible View

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Car Crashed Into My Living Room

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I Dropped A LEGO House I Built 10 Years Ago Down The Stairs

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My Lunch Hour Ends At 12:00

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A Truck Drove On Turf I Layed Yesterday

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Tried To Make Brownies

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The Right Car Is Mine. I Physically Could Not Enter My Car. And Since The Batteries In My Key Ran Dry, I Could Not Open Any Doors But The Drivers Door From The Outside

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My Minesweeper Game

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My Pillow Said “Washing Machine And Dryer Safe” I Open Up My Dryer To This

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**** Happens

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[racingtoaredlight]

Opening Bell: February 23rd, 2021

Veterinarians successfully surgically removed a shoe from the stomach of a ten-foot-long crocodile living at the Alligator Farm Zoological Park in St. Augustine, Florida. 

Kenya is dealing with their worst locust problem in decades, and to try and make something positive out of it local farmers are partnering with a start-up to make high-protein animal feed out of the bugs. The pics in this story are wild.

“Edinburgh woman bit off man’s tongue in street brawl before seagull swooped down and ate it.”

A New York man was working on an explosive device to use at an upcoming gender reveal party when it accidentally blew up and killed him.

Hundreds of prisoners in Arizona are being held past their release dates due to a software glitch.

The spyware being used by Chinese hackers was created using code developed by America’s own NSA.

I’d been operating under the assumption that every Glo Worm sold in Phoenix came with a complimentary batch of 5000 fentanyl pills, but I guess not. 

Finally, a Canadian Lynx was caught red-handed killing a British Columbia farmer’s chickens, so the farmer grabbed the lynx by the scruff of its neck like it was a damned kitten and hauled it into a dog kennel for relocation. This man is a badass.

[michellelewis7162]

How to Find Small Pets and also Puppies For Adoption

How to Find Small Pets and also Puppies For Adoption

 Over the final few years, there has actually been actually fairly a shift in the ownership of pets. It utilized to become that households would acquire or take on the big, manly pets on the market. Effectively, as the planet has actually modified, so possesses the desire for small, small, as well as tiny dogs. Nowadays, the lap dogs are actually at the top of the food cycle when it involves brand new purchases as well as adoptions.

 While there are actually many outlets available marketing all type of dogs at presents, locating tiny pet dogs puppies for adoption is ending up being only a bit much easier. As the lap dogs population develops, therefore carry out the volume of small canines pups litres out their up for fostering.

 A ton of opportunities you may only visit the classified segment of your newspaper and locate "complimentary" pups to a really good residence. https://www.yuppypetboutique.com/

 Although this may certainly not feel like a type of adopting, it most surely is. You are actually adopting the animal from the previous loved ones and also in some conditions; do not be shocked if the household actually asks for an adopting expense! It is definitely not that out of the usual and also it deals with all the expenses they incurred along with the brand new puppies after childbirth. Sterilizing, flea and tick procedure, rabies shots, center worm medicine, and also is actually only a few.

 Other a lot more common pet dog adoption solutions are generally in the type of household pet saves, adopting groups, and pet shelters. You may discover these regionally through acquiring out your phone publication as well as simply offering them a phone call to view what new puppies they presently have. I choose to use the world wide web, and also among the greatest aspects of the internet is these teams have been capable to collaborate together to bring our company one streamlined area to observe manies thousand of household pets up for acceptance at one time.

 Where to Find Dogs as well as Puppies for Adoption

 Merely believe if you are actually new wedded and you would like to stun your cute and also adorable wife with a wonderful puppy what will be the response of your partner? I make certain she will howl with happiness because not a bachelor in this particular globe will certainly despise such an innocent as well as adorable puppy. Yet if you are unaware that coming from where you can get such a beautiful puppy dog after that right here are actually some practical ideas for you.

 1. Inspection in your community

 It is actually definitely much better to look an animal canine in to your area at initial. It might be achievable that your adjacent neighbor is actually planning to purchase his dog. At that point why do not you be the customer of that dog if it is actually of your selection? If your neighbor wants to offer his pup to you then nothing may be much better for you than this since the puppy has advanced before your eyes. So, there are actually incredibly less opportunities of its own ailment.

 2. Dog Shops

 The following action is actually to discover a pet dog or pup coming from the animal outlets. This is an easy way to locate a pet since you will definitely find an amount of pets in the store so the options will be great. Yet one of the most important factor in this regard is that, if you are intending to purchase a puppy dog from the shop after that take it to the medical professional as well as have a total check-up of the puppy prior to buying it. Consistently always remember that after taking the pet into your house, it will certainly become your accountability.

 3. Breed Rescue Organization

 There is a Breed Rescue Organization coming from where you can likewise get a dog or a pup. This is place of terrific selection of family pet canines. So, you may effortlessly locate your favored dog or a new puppy.

 4. Internet

 Yet another source to purchase a pet dog is internet. I must mention this is the cheapest and simplest method of embracing a pet given that you possess no need to go to any type of store looking for a canine. Just browse for a pet dog as well as you are going to have the ability to find out your sweetheart.

 Where to Find Puppies for Adoption?

 If you intend to shock your spouse on her birthday party with a little bit of attractive pooch yet if you do not understand where to get these wonderful critters then below are some intriguing recommendations for you.

 Possess some Investigations in your Neighborhood

If you possess no tip about the species of a pet dog at that point it is actually better to investigate about it in your neighborhood. If any type of one in your neighbors possesses a welcome enhancement of puppies then you may generously provide your acceptance company to your next-door neighbors considering that no person ever before suches as to maintain a number of new puppies in his property.

 Pet Shops

Bulk of people like to get new puppies coming from their local area pet markets. An animal shop are going to have just about every form of pup type as a result; it will definitely be actually simpler for you to select a pet dog of your selection along with the assistance of a surrounding animal store.

 Type Rescue Organization

I f you are actually fully newbie in canine training then it is actually better to take the help of a Breed Rescue Organizations. Kind Rescue Organizations are actually exclusive teams that are actually concentrated in qualifying a new puppy of a certain breed. They companies could be a great assistance for those who do not have any time for household pet's training.

 Animal Shelter or Pet Rescue Groups

Creature homes or even pet saving groups are actually surely useful for those that are actually certainly not mindful regarding a details type. Nonetheless, it is actually difficult to find a pet of a specific measurements and also grow older as a lot of the pet dog saving teams has adult dogs.

 Net

World wide web is also a great area to discover a canine of your option. A lot of pet dog breeders post their advertising campaign on web so that you can conveniently opt for the pet of your goal.

 Puppies for Adoption - Adorable Puppies Need Home

 A lot of our team would just like to embrace an attractive young puppy at one time or even other, isn't it? And much to our joy, we can discover plenty of puppies for adoption pathways waiting to greet our team as well as to give us along with all particulars that may matter to us a great deal. But you still in demand to be actually added mindful in selecting some of these avenues as you may go extremely incorrect along with them. See to it you have devoted enough time investigating their accreditations just before locating all of them. However as soon as you have actually created the correct decision, you then need to raise these cute puppies carefully and this is definitely certainly not a cat-walk for many of us!

 Mature dogs and also new puppies, specifically, are actually fantastic friends anybody may possess. They are actually perhaps the only living critters that will wait you thick and also thin. If they can aid you in this technique as well as in a lot many various other techniques, why will you trouble considering embracing one? The decision making procedure entailed below ought to rather be a simple one. You require to take on some of them a minimum of immediately. Locate a suitable location for puppies for adoption and afterwards accomplish the formalities that are required in getting all of them for yourself and then see what positive difference they produce to your life. A lot more therefore, they are remarkable tiny animals that are thus really good appearing that you could discover it upsetting your eyes off them.

 There are actually probably several concerns you may desire to ask your own self prior to using a puppy dog. Do I have a little however a relaxing little bit of area for my puppy dog to remain? Can I convert this area to a bigger one to serve the cute pup once it expands? Perform I know what its food items habits are as well as just how they require to be preserved everyday? And so forth. If you have the capacity to address these questions and a whole lot even more, you are probably prepared for embracing a young puppy. In such a case, browse through puppies for adoption area and also make your option. You can easily at that point go on and apply the responses you had actually given previously. Mind you, taking on an attractive young puppy is actually the ideal way to tackle performing your little bit in protecting these critters coming from harmful predators.

 The wellness of the puppy you are actually mosting likely to take on should perform best of your concern. Be sure that you take your taken on pup to a physician as well as check the wellness condition of it. Observe all the steps that are actually demanded to keep them in healthy condition. This is incredibly essential while you are actually going with puppies for adoption. You will certainly never ever run except kinds of puppies while you are actually active looking for them. Dalmatians, Danes, Labradors, golden retrievers, as well as English Collies are handful of kinds you can immediately consider while adopting all of them. Yet whatever breed you are selecting, ensure that you have future programs in position actually. It is a known simple fact that these young puppies grow quickly and consequently you need to have to think about their sanctuary, food and also other traits correctly.

 Labrador Retriever Puppies for Adoption

 Labrador Retriever puppies for adoption are actually often thoroughbred, and every bit as excellent, caring, as well as spirited as a pup you will get. Why most likely to a pet shop or even breeder when you can find Labrador Retriever puppies for adoption? Commonly free of cost!

 Places including "Labrador Retriever Rescue and also Adoption" possess pure and mixed-breed Labrador Retriever puppy dogs. When our team went seeming on the internet briefly, we found Labrador Retriever puppies for adoption that were 9 weeks outdated as well as 12 weeks outdated.

 In a "Yahoo Pets" classified ad, our experts saw 10 gorgeous little bit of Labrador Retriever puppies for adoption in Colorado. The Hoobly classified website possessed 3 Labrador Retriever puppies for adoption in Idaho.

 Labrador Retriever puppies for adoption are actually additionally accessible at Humane Society as well as individual animal shelters.

 Who Would Adopt Labrador Retriever Puppies

 You may embrace Labrador Retriever young puppies if:

 1. your spending plan carries out not allow a financial investment of $400 to $1500 for a new puppy

 2. you pity on excess puppies

 Many individuals have huge, looking after hearts. They recognize the Labrador Retriever puppies at the dog breeder, with their fancy papers, will find homes. Lifestyle is certainly not as specific for saving pups. They have been offered up for fostering due to the fact that the owners will not or might neglect even more canines.

 Drawbacks of Labrador Retriever Puppies for Adoption

 Labrador Retriever puppy dogs that have actually been lost hope for fostering might have hidden complications. You will not recognize about the character of the parents. Nor are going to you recognize whether either parent has health condition that will certainly be actually received due to the puppies. If you locate Labrador Retriever puppy dogs in a pet sanctuary, opportunities are great that the staff recognizes little about all of them.

 Labrador Retriever new puppies in a shelter usually are without connecting options. Individuals come and also people go, however no person has time to show the pup how to quadrate human companions.

 You jeopardize receiving a young puppy that has know to howl noisally for interest - in an area of loudly woofing canines. Labrador Retriever new puppies from shelters are going to take greater than a few times of modification to un-learn some peccadillos.

 Several of these negative aspects are beat if you receive Labrador Retriever pups through a saving system. The majority of systems put their adoptive puppies in foster residences. This steers clear of most of the animal home issues.

 Some saving systems are actually also able to figure out even more regarding the pups' background. The foster "moms and dads" may examine the puppy dogs' temperaments and also health and wellness. They may start standard instruction and socialize the pups. They can easily create certain the young puppies obtain a really good beginning in life while they wait on their long-term houses.

 Advantages of Labrador Retriever Puppies for Adoption

 The perks of acquiring Labrador Retriever pups that are accessible for adoption might surpass the downsides for you - especially if you may get the puppies via a rescue network.

 1. You are actually providing a really good home to Labrador Retriever pups that might typically certainly not possess one.

 2. You are acquiring loving, faithful companions, who will carry out anything to satisfy you, so long as you teach all of them what that is actually.

 3. You are actually paying out merely a tiny adopting expense (or even acquiring all of them totally free). However your Labrador Retriever young puppies will be actually every little as nurturing as those setting you back thousands of dollars.

 Valuable Tip

 You can discover Labrador Retriever puppies for adoption online. Simply style the key phrase "Labrador Retriever saving" in to your search motor. Locally, enjoy newspaper classified advertisements or even explore your pet shelter.

 What About Frenchie Puppies For Adoption?

 In the event that you perform certainly not know you can easily decide on puppies for adoption online. The device is actually incredibly complex, yet it is likewise the easiest way in scenario you are trying to find frenchie young puppies to buy online.

 Lots of folks counting film stars and also personalities possess French bulldogs and they are actually maintaining all of them as animals. They are actually smaller than the routine sort of bulldog, yet per overall are much more silent, loveable as well as really playful.

 Just before welcoming your French bulldog young puppy in your home you absolutely need to have to be actually ready for this certain activity. Most of us know how necessary it is actually to be relaxed and also to experience comfy in your house. Your frenchie young puppy should feel the exact same point in his brand-new home.

 The pups have plenty of energy as well as they are actually extremely dynamic in accomplishing their duty. A frenchie young puppy are going to create you to stroll for miles; they will make you have fun with all of them for hours since they will not acquire tired any quicker. Beginning educating your French bulldog quickly as you have him. Sooner is much better considering that he will definitely pay attention and discover quicker when it is actually very youthful.

 On the internet website you may discover crucial information about a considerable amount of factors associated as exactly how you can nourish all of them accurately, exactly how you may use one, what they like or even object to, health concerns, and so on

 . It can be quite helpful to examine the Testimonials and also Questions areas on the internet site. Through this you possess major opportunities to determine additional about what you are actually trying to find.

 You will certainly need to have to create them believe as well as recognize that they are actually incredibly substantial in your lifestyle. In addition to their guideline sessions you also need to educate your kids too. Show your little ones on just how to act when they are communicating with French bulldog young puppies. This is actually considering that little ones are usually suggest and they play harsh activities with their puppies, activities that can harm them some opportunities. Things which children often use to perform feel like drawing the tail of the little bit of frenchie, participate in wildly along with their ears, they boot them and also they additionally perform lots of other distressing factors which issue the little bit of frenchie.

 When you are actually teaching your French bulldog puppy dogs ensure that your little one or even children to observe any type of training session. Through this, your youngster will definitely know the French bulldog reactions to the instructions. Award your little bit of good friend after each instruction session so you may enhance up the self-confidence degree of your household pet.

 They could be quite brilliant and also can easily they can learn really simply. They could be very knowledgeable watchdogs if they are actually qualified suitably. You will definitely locate that they are fairly quiet and also carry out certainly not woof excessively. They howl simply when they possess something to tell you and also that consists of having a thief in your home. These canines also have a charming mood and also are actually quite cute. It is actually additionally somehow strange that they as if to go after computer mice as well as infections so you are going to not need to have to utilize a family members cat for that factor. Finally, French bulldogs are terrific consequent pet dogs. They are extremely devoted, adorable and also enjoy a ton of physical exercise.