#completely original joke

[bagelsforall]

Original Jokeᵀᴹ

[neurovarious]

[funkle420]

*unchills your chuck*

my commissions are open!

[neria-rt]

g’mornin

[yepmimix]

uhhhhhh random doodles with zero context! yayyy!!

[serpentface]

Omg, is there any more about Odonii battlefield performance?

Faiza giving a full battlefield performance, which includes grimacing, sinister looks, letting out terrifying war cries, and banging on her shield with her dagger's pommel. She's wearing a full set of armor, which is functional but highly decorative. A squire will be present somewhere nearby to carry the rest of her weaponry.

As mentioned in the other post, Odonii generally do not actually Participate in fighting. Their perpetual armament and training to correctly Use this armament has predominantly symbolic functions, with their bodies as vessels for state and military empowerment and integrity.

Their normal role on the battlefield is:

a) Spiritual protection for their associated warriors and intimidation of enemies.

Their role is partially to be the ‘guardian lion’ figure in human form, their presence and performance in of itself is considered metaphysically protective. This guardian lion nature is played up and reinforced with their dress and behavior- they wear lion skins over their armor, paint their faces red to obscure human features, perform war cries tailored to sound inhuman (not like lions, just a very shrill and frightening sound). They perform ‘frenzied’ movements that intend to evoke an enraged animal- pacing, banging on their shields, biting their weapons/shields, baring teeth, exaggerated glances that emphasize the whites of their eyes, etc. This can be a disturbing sight- reassuring to their allies who know a frightening spiritual guardian figure is on their side, and demoralizing to an enemy (the latter especially in conjunction with common beliefs that Odonii are witches/shapeshifters)

b) A motivating factor to get the men to fight more bravely.

This is partly out of religious belief (you will probably be a little bolder if you feel reassurance that God is very much present and on your side, via Its priestesses), partly out of esteem for the order (you are highly motivated to perform for their recognition and protect them from harm). In a way, their role on the battlefield is the Least masculinized aspect of their performance- they are in part there to remind men of their mothers, wives, and daughters, who they are supposed to be the protectors of and whose benefit they are ultimately (at least deemed to be) fighting for.

In some cases, this is taken to a (cultural relative) extreme wherein they will expose their breasts towards their own men as a part of battlefield performance, in the form of a supplicatory gesture (bearing the breasts and thumping on the chest with a fist). (The Odomache’s nude body should never be publicly seen under any circumstances, limited and controlled exposure by Odonii Can be appropriate). Breasts are not sexualized in this cultural sphere, but are not treated as neutral body parts either, instead having values of motherly nurturing and feminine vulnerability projected onto them. Odonii showing tits will be a DISTINCT reminder of the ‘vulnerable female’ elements that the men should be protecting, and can be highly motivating (especially in the context of a figure who is otherwise behaviorally ‘masculinized’, it’s jarring and can have useful emotional impact).

c) General spiritual leadership (in connection to a & b).

Weapons dances are an aspect of military training and the kagnoma odo dance is always performed prior to conventional battles, Odonii lead these dances. This has multifacted functions- it is believed to spiritually bless the troops, it is a means of practicing with weaponry/limbering up, it is a psychological rallying point and good for morale, and it may intimidate your enemy who can see it happening from a distance (by displaying readiness/eagerness to battle, good discipline, unity, and physical might). Odonii also perform personalized blessings of soldiers, weapons, and armor.

c) Filling gaps in the command structure or acting as commanders

Odonii are involved in strategic meetings, and ones who receive battlefield roles are very well studied in military tactics. As a matter of technicality, their commands to the body of Imperial Wardi troops do not override those of generals or other ranking soldiers (though they will often be deferred to regardless), but they can fill in gaps in the command structure in case of death of high ranking soldiers or if lines become scattered and communication breaks down.

Additionally, there are two elite warrior orders presided over by the Odonii priesthood (the rest answer directly to the Usoma's court appointed general), with senior Odonii as their commanders and the Odomache as their general. (This is one of many political tension points between the priesthood and monarchy, given that the Odonii have managed to get themselves about 200 high skill, firearm'ed warriors that are separate from the normal military structure, only as loyal to the Usoma as their current general is, and Very beloved among the public so you can't just like, outright kill or disarm this very obvious threat.)

d) A strategic flexing of eastern seaway honorable combat norms

Conventions of honorable warfare have broad commonalities across the eastern seaway peoples, one of which is that noncombatants (by default- women, girls, prepubsecent boys, unarmed elderly men) are not legitimate targets in the normal process of open war (but are fair game in contexts like sieges when a foe has refused to surrender on behalf of their population). Odonii being armed throws a wrinkle into this - they are still effectively ‘noncombatants’ by virtue of being women, but if they actually Engage in fighting they do present a threat that could be justifiably neutralized.

If they do not actually Use their arms they are not legitimate targets, and an enemy concerned with honorable combat will have to work around their presence (or risk social/retaliatory consequences if he does not). They are thus effectively human shields- at the very least introducing an additional layer of difficulties for an opponent to navigate, and sometimes actively putting their bodies between their men and their opponents.

e) as a factor of D, potential mediator figures.

When in conventional battles, Odonii on losing sides are usually expected to allow themselves to be captured without resistance. They stand a very high chance of being taken alive and remaining unharmed due to a combination of factors- baseline honorable warfare practices (which are ABSOLUTELY not always followed, but at least Influence behavior), fears of material consequences in retribution for harming the priestess, fears of spiritual consequences for harming a potentially powerful witch, knowledge that releasing an Odonii unscathed may give the captors a better negotiating position down the line, or knowledge that an Odonii is a very valuable hostage and can make for a good bargaining chip.

Because of this element, captured Odonii are expected to perform mediation roles, negotiate the release of hostages, carry messages from their captors, or bravely tolerate hostage conditions (ideally while gaining intelligence on their captors)

---

Odonii very, very rarely actually participate in combat (and are in fact not Supposed To in the vast majority of circumstances).

They are, however, fairly well equipped for it. Their perpetual armament is symbolic in nature, but its intended function of empowering their bodies and the state by proxy additionally requires them to know how to Use It. They are trained and regularly drill and engage in mock battles in each of their key weapons/defensive combinations (sword, sword and shield, spear, spear and shield, longgun, handgun) and are expected to be adept at their use. Odonii who attend battlefields, while not being directly engaged, are still in very high-stress and dangerous environments and will have to learn to stay calm and collected under duress. All this doesn't mean every Odonii would be a skilled warrior in an actual combat situation (given that most will have no experience fighting someone who is actually trying to Kill Them), but it does mean they have enough technical skill and mental fortitude to stand a decent chance.

The only times where they are SUPPOSED to actively engage is when a battle is deemed as an existential struggle and is being lost (in practice, the main context for this is a siege), or losing against a foe deemed so thoroughly depraved that they won’t even slightly follow wartime conventions. The idea in these situations is that they are most likely already doomed, and that they should die protecting their people in battle.

Wardi history is filled with stories of Odonii fighting and dying in desperate conflicts (particularly against Imperial Bur), but this is at least Partly historical revisionism (there WERE some women in proto-Odonii roles involved in these conflicts, but these retellings project the modern Odonii order onto its multiple progenitor practices).

Odonii are frequently present on battlefields, but there are only two major instances of modern era Odonii participating in battle as full combatants, both involving conflict with Finnerich

---

The fully modern incarnation of the order can be defined as starting in the late period of Burri occupation, in which multiple Wardi city-states and kingdoms allied against a common foe, and the separate progenitors of the Odonii tradition began to coelesce into a single practice. These alliances were mostly dropped after Burri withdrawal, and the immediate post-withdrawal period was a chaotic scrambling to politically stabilize and assert old territorial claims- thus most Wardi states resumed hostile or indifferent relations with one another. (The one exception is that Wardin and Ephennos remained allied, which shortly would become a Big Deal). Forms of early Odonii now existed throughout most of these states, just not united under a single banner.

The city of Godsmouth was blockaded and besieged by Finnerich during this period (taking advantage of its historical rival’s weakness in the political chaos of de-occupation and hoping to capture or at least maim the city), and some of these early Odonii were involved in this conflict and are known to have engaged.

Godsmouth was a rival to its neighboring states more than anything else- there was little reason for others to send aid in the conflict, and it was left to fend for itself. It was and is a heavily fortified city, and thus the siege lasted for months, with the strategy turning to starving the population out rather than the risky maneuver of throwing troops at well-defended gates to force entry. The Finn forces never managed to breach the inner walls, but were very successful at starving the city's population, raiding its farmlands and villages, and destroying its ports and capturing or burning its ships, all with minimal casualties on their side.

The strategy of the siege finally turned to a risky push to breach and capture the city (due to Finnerich’s own dwindling resources and logistical difficulties in restocking due to storms at sea, and news that an allied Wardin and Ephennos had, in an unprecedented move, been persuaded to send reinforcements (in return for Godsmouth's sworn fealty and absorption into their alliance)), and Finn forces succeeded in breaking through the outer walls. This developed into a very dramatic standoff in which the remaining warriors and/or civilians of Godsmouth attempted to fend off the attack long enough for reinforcements to arrive (which would take days by sea).

Odonii are very famously known to have fully engaged in this stretch of the conflict on the front lines, as it represented an existential threat to the city-state (it’s a fortified settlement, if it was captured, reinforcements would not matter). Some of the recountings are distinctly fanciful (describing Odonii and noblemen leading Siege Of Helms Deep style khaitback charges into masses of enemies, or SWEARING that one of them actually did turn into a lion and ripped apart a hundred Finns before she succumbed to her wounds). An At Least Partially True Story With Exaggerated Elements of the final days of the siege describes the Odonii priestess Hibrides Odiboe rallying a group of elderly men into battle by baring her breasts and scratching deep, bleeding wounds into her chest, declaring herself as 'your mothers, your wives, your daughters, and look how I bleed while you hide behind your walls and wait to die.' While accounts have fantastical elements, it is factual that Odonii priestesses fought and died defending the city's inner walls, notably filling command positions left vacant by slain or starved leaders and rallying citizens to the front lines.

The end of the siege was ultimately a pyrrhic victory for Godsmouth- the city was never actually taken but its population was starved and riddled with disease, its farmlands were burned, and its ports were destroyed. Finnerich forces retreated before reinforcements arrived after failing to break through the inner walls in time, but had succeeded in most objectives of severely wounding their historical enemy. It has been a source of collective trauma in Godsmouth since that point (it is now out of living memory, but vivid stories remain of seeing the dead eaten by dogs and the starving eating the dogs that ate the dead, watching family members succumb to disease and starvation, all while hearing the sounds of fighting draw closer and closer with no reason to believe that any help would ever come), but ultimately recontextualized as a victory, a turning point in the arc of modern history. (The Wardin-Ephennos-Godsmouth alliance, which formed in full as a result of this conflict, would become the triple state that conquered the rest of the region and formed Imperial Wardin).

The direct participation of Odonii in this conflict is heavily played up in the narrative as the order in its purest form as sovereignty incarnate, the priestesses bravely fighting for (what would turn out to be) the beginnings of the Imperial Wardi state. The 11 Odonii who died fighting in the siege have been bestowed sainthood and are memorialized in a series of guardian lion statue-shrines overlooking Godsmouth’s ports (in which their ashes and bones are stored).

---

The other instance of modern era Odonii engaging in conflict is significantly less romantic, occurring in the context of the Extremely failed second invasion of Finnerich.

During and after the rout that resulted in the Odomache's capture and killing, it became exceptionally clear to the Imperial Wardi forces that They Were Fucked. The conflict veered with REMARKABLE speed from being an attempt end the state's civil war between the Imperial Wardi-loyalist provincial puppet government and its rebelling northwest population, to a desperate struggle for Wardi forces to get out of Finnerich Alive. At this point it was assumed (fairly accurately) that any defeated party would be summarily executed, so most Odonii present ended up directly engaging in battle. Two are known to have died leading soldiers in a bid to retrieve the Odomache's body, others fought and/or died while defending the retreat.

A few Finn Odonii (women appointed as a local sect of the priesthood after the initial takeover) remained in the capital after the Wardi forces fucked off overseas, and were executed along with the rest of the installed loyalist government and priests (though it's unlikely that they were involved in any fighting, as the provincial government surrendered after the withdrawal).

Odonii veterans of the invading force have not fared well in the aftermath. Most of those who survived the ambush in which the Odomache was captured have ended up committing honorable suicide due to breaking vows in abandoning their leader in retreat, failing to retrieve her body, and/or being assaulted in capture. More have committed (ostensibly ritual, probably emotionally driven) suicide in the years that followed, with the knowledge that their leader's death and defilement and this severing of God's spirit has brought doom upon their land in the form of an unbroken drought and famine, and that they failed to prevent this. The priestess who was captured alive to witness the Odomache's death and released unharmed to report it was the first.

All this has opened some vacancies in the order's leadership, and given things a very somber tone. It is currently in debate as to whether the ones who died on Finn soil (particularly those who died attempting to retrieve their leader's body) should be canonized as saints or if it's a little too soon for all that.

[val-of-the-north]

I got to the bottom of the Messmer's Kindling debacle

Earlier I found a post talking about a potential retcon of lore, but I did some digging and found no such thing. Here's the post [x]

However, after one last attempt to find its source, I stumbled upon the culprit: this Elden Ring guide on how to use Messmer's Kindling from TheGamer's website!

The image is indeed real, but you might notice something if you pay attention to this article's date. It was posted on June 20, which for some was the release date of Shadow of the Erdtree. It means that although the image is legitimate, it's not a new change, and instead it's very outdated info! Mentioning Melina was something they added LATER as opposed to something they removed.

Now, they either patched the description some time after release, or this person had one of the early review copies they sometimes hand out, meaning the description wasn't up to date. Whatever the case may be, we can verifiably confirm that they have NOT removed the mention of Messmer's sister and that anyone using this screenshot was either misinformed or is just trolling for the sake of trolling.

So happy to put a pin into this whole thing, feel free to spread it around so we can combat this misinformation.

[poppybros-jr]

It’s the final round of second chance. Noir’s made it to the finals! I’m here to cheer for him again, but this time, I’ve brought along…

(actually just my siblings and Vinnie ‘cause my aunts and cousins were busy)

If Noir wins this, he wins the whole second chance tournament! Please vote for him if you can!

I saw what he did last round. Threatening people to give my little siblings money for college? Respect. He’s on the no prank list… for now. >8)

He’s had to deal with some tough stuff. Don’t you think it’d be nice for something good to happen to him for once?

I think his spiky hair is really cool…

*bark yip grrr*

Vote for Noir!

Noir belongs to @desultory-novice . He now has immunity to exactly one instance of Marx in the entire multiverse. Congrats?

@kirbyoctournament

[essektheylyss]

We don't have to worry about WHY I got here but I decided to attempt to construct a cogent etymology of "Thelyss", and if you take '-lyss' to come from the Latin 'lyssa' for rabies, the Greek origin of which is thought to have been related to 'lúkos', I think the evidence is very clear.

I've finally figured out which wizard was the werewolf.

[mangofanarts]

Them

[narwhalandchill]

oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh

so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.

why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.

and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.

so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.

it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.

like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!

and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns 🤨🤨 why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)

(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days 💀💀)

[forestlovesyou]

I got hit by a huge wave of nostalgia and fell back into the Undertale rabbithole and I just couldn't resist the urge to make a Handplates skeleton lore accurate oc who I am pretty proud of ngl :] adawd

[eyeballs-in-my-head]

Sonic x Kontroll (2003) CROSSOVER !!!

Yes, now this exists too. I shall be posting part two soon!

✷ PART 2 (not yet) ✷

☟☟☟ Music ☟☟☟

Just because it's awesome rad cool and also fantastic

[littlebittyhollowbugs]

Dreamer headcanons

• Lurien is half dragonfly (son of an outsider dragonfly and nobleman of the city) and the grandchild of a higher being. He posseses great magic ability, especially in regards to sight. (Also fun fact: Dragonflies irl have great vision, and are known to have some of the best eyesight of any bug!) I will elaborate on this HC in a separate post Which will go over my dragonfly lore.

• Lurien helped the king create the worldsense spell, that he gifted the hollow knight. (A spell that allows one vision of an entire kingdom from one location.)

• Lurien and Monomon were very close before becoming dreamers having spent much time working together as advisors of the king. They often argued though, with Lurien never questioning his monarch and Monomon always advocating for trying new ideas, looking from all perspectives ect. (The pale king appreciated both very much.)

• They are also both poets, which they bonded over. And Lurien had definitely at one point painted a fog canyon art piece, that he gifted to her.

• Monomon is the oldest of the dreamers, technically, She is actually already over a hundred years old, before becoming a dreamer.

• She was once a regular (at least more regular) type of bug, and was later turned into a jellyfish.

• She always had an amazing mind and used her scientific skill to help the kingdom progress. She impressed the king so greatly that he granted her immortality (I will elaborate on this in a sec) And entrusted her to keep all the kingdoms records.

• Then of course with this new immortality, and new position, she became more ambitious. She created the jellyfish and fog canyon, Wanting to prove that she could be like the higher beings and create her own people/followers. (Typical god complex mad scientist behavior.)

• The king had her punished by taking away her true form. and turning her into a jellyfish creature. (Which she eventually grew used to and even happily accepted.)

• Of course as long as she stayed loyal to the king, the jellyfish did. And she remained loyal to the end.

• She was one of his foremost trusted advisors, and besides the white lady, the most involved in his plan to seal the infection.

• About the immortality thing- that was granted to her through her mask. The king had heard of the mask maker of Deepnest and his power. He made a deal with the then ruler of Deepnest (this is before Herrahs time) to have a mask created for Monomon.

• Skip forward a hundred years or so, the king is amidst his plan to seal the infection. He needs dreamers and at this point Monomon and Lurien have both volunteered. In order for the plan to work they need their masks and he goes to deepnest again to make a deal for two more masks to be made. This is how Herrah becomes aware of the dreamer plan, and her deal with him is made not long after.

I hesitate to elaborate on Herrahs backstory, only because Silksong might do just that. (I hope it does!) Anyway this all may be disproven but here we go~

• Herrah married the old sire of Deepnest who was a weaver (higher minded being) And this caused much controversy in Deepnest. She was not a weaver, not a royal, not even of noble birth.

• She did have her loyal followers of course, but many of her people, did not have much faith in her.

• The sire died unexpectedly in battle against the mantis tribe and Herrah was put in a worse position. Now Deepnest depended solely on her. (And to make matters more difficult she had not yet birthed an heir.)

• The pale king soon discovered how unprepared Herrah was to be queen, and was quick to make an alliance with her, after the sires passing.

• Herrah agreed to the alliance. (And trade routes and what not were established, the stag station, trams ect.)

• Herrahs people were not so much in agreement. The relations between Deepnest and Hallownest remained shaky to say the least.

• The bargain for Hornet was made both to the advantage of Herrah and the King. Herrah would have an heir, And with the new queen of Deepnest being his daughter, the king would gain more influence over the land.

• not wanting for her daughter to grow too attached to her before the sealing, Herrah sent Hornet to the hive to train when she was very young. (Herrah trained in the hive herself when she was in her youth. And trusted them to care of her daughter.)

• ooh also Deepnest culture is very family oriented specifically revolving around the children/the youth.

I feel like I have more, but this is all I can remember for now. Might add onto this later.

[4lph4kidz]

people are always like 'this fictional character is my wife/husband' or 'they're my child' and i'm over here like i'm observing creatures in the wild, i'm not supposed to interact with them bc that could disrupt their natural behaviours. they've got stuff going on i am not qualified to handle just give me the magnifying glass so i can study them like buges. and if i was going to interact with them on a more human level i wouldn't know where to start i guess i'd buy jake a meatball sub or something and we'd see how it went from there

[aipurjopa]

love how universal the experience of logging into a minecraft smp with ppl you vaguely know to dick around and then 2 months later you're sitting at your computer with an ache in your chest because your friend just betrayed you and blew up the base you two spent all of winter break grinding together and bonding over and then spawn killed you until your armor broke and then left you for the enemy team and you're genuinely heartbroken over this but also it's just a video game and you gotta lock in and finish your homework