#completed staff work

[jamietwat]

Roy and Jamie doing the celebrities read mean tweets thing but instead of from random people, it’s just all the bullshit they tweeted about each other that the other didn’t see in the time between Roy blocking Jamie on everything after Jamie tagged him in a tweet about how overdue Roy’s retirement was and Roy unblocking him but not telling him and just waiting for him to figure it out himself once they became friends (not that Roy would ever admit that that was what they were)

(Also, they definitely regularly seemingly unprompted tweeted horrible things about each other and fought online before that but neither of them blocked the other (or followed the other) because they preferred tagging the other in their bullshit for extra annoyingness but Roy was just at his limit for putting up with anything when he retired so Jamie said something not even as bad as usual and got blocked instead of the public argument he was anticipating)

Keeley’s like oh god this is a bad idea I’ve seen what they both tweeted and there’s no way this isn’t going to end up with them both pissed and probably getting into a physical fight

But instead, they both find them hilarious and there’s a lot of “oh, that’s a good one” and “that’s not your best work. You said worse to me this morning” and it’s the most Roy Kent’s been caught on camera laughing

[verdantglow]

Apple Staff Alignments & Other Notes from Retail Purgatory AU

Etho

Role: Genius

Alignment: True Neutral

Has been at this Genius Bar the longest (apart from Doc)

He's mostly here because he's good at it, they pay him well, & it's generally pretty tolerable. Plus it'd be like, a whole thing to find another job, & he's got other things he'd rather spend his time on.

At this point, he's gotten pretty good at slipping into work mode, so he's generally pleasant, if kinda unremarkable (in demeanor), if you get him for your appointment.

That said, he's very much doing just enough to stay in the managers' good graces & gets maybe a bit too much enjoyment out of seeing just how close he can get to that line.

Like he knows exactly how late he can be on how many days each quarter without getting official feedback & he will be late all of those days.

"Sorry I'm late for the team meeting, traffic was crazy out there!" [is obviously holding a full cup of steaming hot coffee from Starbucks]

So yeah, he's not the one starting shit, but he's definitely just gonna watch in amusement & not help if Doc's pissing off another customer.

Refuses to work any morning shifts ever. Schedule him every weekend day if you want, but if you tell him to show up for a shift before 1pm, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

Tango

Role: Genius

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Tango is an absolute fucking delight to have as your Genius. He's got this infectiously good energy & is just soooo hype to help you figure out whatever's wrong & show you like ten completely unrelated but very cool things in the process.

He is constantly going out of scope, doing software fixes & in appointment hardware repairs that he's very much not supposed to do. Not to mention showing off the most awesome accessories the store currently carries.

So his productivity numbers are abysmal & he's got the longest average appointment duration in the store (well. probably the local market, actually).

But he's also got hands down the best customer reviews. Plus all those $1.5k drones he keeps selling by flying them around the back of the store while in appointments.

Management has tried asking him to hand those customers off to a sales person so he can do tech stuff, but he always just says he couldn't do that because he was still in an appointment with them & he can't send people off without fixing their problems, can he?

& honestly, they really need his review scores to balance out Doc's.

Doc

Role: Genius

Alignment: Lawful Evil

He's been a Genius at the store since it opened & he transferred from being a Genius at a different location.

He has worked on pretty much every Apple product in the last couple of decades & remembers how to fix all of them.

Not that he's happy about it. He will bitch incessantly while doing repairs on newer iPhones & iMacs, spending the whole time complaining about the degradation of product design at this company. He'll do these more challenging repairs flawlessly, but he will not be happy (or quiet) about it.

He has the shortest appointment times in the store. It's part him being wickedly competent at identifying & fixing issues, part he just doesn't want to waste time in appointments with people with boring problems.

Not that his customers complain about the quick appointments. In fact, that's the only good thing they have to say in his reviews. Most of them are more about how he barely talked to them & when he did, it was to insult them, their problems, &/or their devices.

Doc'll routinely cherry pick customers out of the appointment list even though he's super not supposed to. Because if there's a problem weird enough to interest him, he will be taking that appointment.

He really doesn't actually need this job. He's been really into the stock purchase plan Apple offers for the whole time he's been there. He's got such an absolutely wild number of Apple shares at this point; he could sell some & retire & have plenty left over.

And yet. He's still there.

Impulse

Role: Genius Admin (Genius Bar/Repair Room operations plus miscellaneous other responsibilities)

Alignment: Lawful Good

When Impulse became Admin, management told him how the Repair Room & everything in it was his responsibility. What they meant was, "keep everything on track & the Geniuses in line." What he heard was, "okay you're basically Repair Room Mom, so take care of these idiots."

& he really took that to heart.

Like. Impulse can imagine every way that things can go off the rails & has plans for all of them.

He always keeps back stock of all the tools & consumable goods hidden somewhere in the store. Anything from sim ejector tools that everyone's constantly losing to those weird obscure tools used to fix the nearly unserviceble Mac Pros twice a year, you need it, he's got it somewhere.

While management expects him to enforce all the rules & tell them when they are broken, he is way more concerned with just holding the whole repair operation together. He's got so many irons in the fire as admin, he's not that bothered with rules that don't have an actual impact on getting things done.

However, he does remind them all about safety rules very often. You even try to touch the repair bench without being grounded, he will appear from nowhere to say that he knows you weren't about to do something that could brick a customer's device or start a thermal event. Because both of those involve a lot of paperwork that he's responsible for.

Tbh, he's actually pretty worried about their safety since things can go sideways fast with some repairs & either of those things would involve having to tell management. Okay, and he doesn't want do paperwork, but that's just because he's so busy keeping things going, he doesn't have time to get distracted by extra paperwork!

He works a lot of early morning shifts to do various inventory things & get things organized before the store opens. He's gonna be up anyway, might as well take the shifts no one else really wants.

Mumbo

Role: Genius

Alignment: Chaotic Anxious

Oh Mumbo. My sweet, sweet Mumbo. My anxiety baby. (I say as an anxiety baby.)

He's great with customers & at explaining things in ways that make people feel reassured, even if they have no clue how things work as soon as they leave the store.

However, he does get anxious easily when things are busy & the team is behind on appointments. So he gets sent back to do repairs when that happens before he flips out.

To be fair, he also gets flustered back there, which tends to lead to him trying to go faster & making mistakes that wind up making the repairs take longer.

But Impulse has a strategy worked out with Mumbo for when he's on repairs.

Because when Mumbo isn't flustered? He's the fastest repair person by a long shot, especially on iPhones. No one can perfectly replace as many phone batteries per hour as calm Mumbo can.

So when it's busy & there's a lot of phones to be done, the overhead lights go out with only the bench lighting on, classical music and ambient rain noises go on the speaker, & Mumbo works from a repair to do list that Impulse made just for him.

Seeing everything waiting to be repaired will just make Mumbo nervous & slower, so they decided that he only needed to see the next few at any given time. Impulse takes care of any priority rearranging that's needed on the full list & Mumbo puts on the blinders & only looks at the next three repairs & busts through a super human number of repairs.

(Even Doc is impressed. He just won't actually directly say so.)

[ratatatastic]

"Battle of Alberta, right? It was my first game: Calgary, Edmonton. We would play them in the preseason, and you know—trying to make the team I'd always be asking him to fight in preseason, always. I'd be runnin' my mouth—like, tryna fight the biggest, baddest guys, tryna make an impression.

And he would never fight me. He'd always tell me, like If you make the team, I'll fight ya. You don't have to worry about that, but I'm not fightin' ya preseason. And I totally respect it, I'm not gonna chase him down. It is what it is. He's established—I'm looking for my chance.

So I get called up, we're playing Edmonton in Edmonton: Battle of Alberta. [He's] over there on the other side, and it's like the coolest thing ever... you know, the buildup was crazy 'cuz I knew if the opportunity presented itself—if the game went the way I hoped it would, I would get an opportunity to fight him.

I remembered in warmups tryna skate by the redline initially just kind-of gettin' a feel for it—to see if I have to say something or whatever... He's got no bucket on, his big, bald head is glarin' around, he skates by the redline with the biggest smile on his face, and just gives me the biggest wink...

At that moment I knew Okay, he remembers. It's gonna happen at some point.

We were up 1, I think it was 2-1 going into intermission or whatever—Oh, no, I think it was 1-1 and we had just scored so the position I'm like Yeah, I don't know if I can fight him now because we have the momentum and we're winning the game. I don't want to lose a fight, then we lose a game and now I'm, like, never getting a chance again.

You kind-of gotta play the game within the game like [...] there's an opportunity to fight, and there's an opportunities where you shouldn't fight. Things weren't looking good, then they score and now we need a spark. I'm like Fucking perfect.

I just skate by their bench and I'm like It's time, big boy! He jumps out, we line up, and he goes We squarin' up or we goin' right away?

I'm like I'm not fuckin' squarin' up with you right now! We're goin' right away!

Drop em, we go right away, grab each other. I know he's a lefty so he's gonna let go—let's go of my right arm before he throws one. I threw one. Big boy went down, he jumped back up pretty quick. I don't know, I tell people all the time, I'm like I would've been in the league fuckin' 2 years earlier if there was good footage of this fuckin' fight!

For some reason—For some reason, the cameras cut out. I don't know if [he] had his cousins working the cameras or something that night, or if they're in the video room or what happened.

That was my first NHL game.

It's funny 'cuz Chucky was there—Chucky's there and he knows, he saw, he always laugh when I say that I would've been in the league earlier 'cuz he knows how things like that go. You get a little bit of energy and buzz around ya, and then kind-of momentum takes you a little bit further but unfortunate[ly], I missed that opportunity but I don't regret a thing.

[...]

The opportunity was there, I just—unfortunately, for whatever reason, the Hockey Gods said not yet." (Ryan Lomberg reminiscing over his first NHL game/fight) (x)(x) (please go watch the second link to see lombos giant smile as he tells this story jfc)

and other genuinely bonkers things to say about a hockey player in your first fight... like why did this need to be said like that...what

[goldenpinof]

genuine question, what is the issue with betterhelp?

bad therapists who do more harm than good (literally), bad treatment of therapists by the company regarding payment, and betterhelp is a zionist company.

the most recent video (i advise watching it, it's not very long but it recaps a lot of old problems people forgot about and mentions new ones):

[reasonsforhope]

Crowdsourcing a question

Okay totally personal post here because, now that search engines suck, my research is failing me. So I'm crowdsourcing my question about the residential care work industry!

Hoping at least some of my followers have experience in/with the industry and some intel on this:

Actual question: How common is it for jobs in residential care work (residential centers, btw, not home care) to actually have two people on the night shift? vs. just saying they always have two people on the night shift in interviews and their official policies, and actually it's not true?

Because my current job was, it turns out, apparently totally lying about "you'll never be on shift alone with clients" at orientation (when it comes to the night shift, anyway). Which, holy fucking safety issues, Batman!

Suffice to say this was a very fun thing to find out like three days before my first regular shift

So, I'm thinking realllll hard about switching companies, and I'm trying to figure out if I could expect to actually have a coworker at a different company, or if it's like an open secret in the field that actually, basically all the night shifts end up being solo shifts, because the industry is so chronically understaffed or w/e

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

the fact that Lee worked in Arkham and it didn't break her, didn't make her less kind, more cruel, etc., etc., proves once again (for me) that she is the most morally strong and golden hearted character in Gotham

[homobiwan]

If your boss starts having unreasonable expectations but you feel like you can't say no it is IMPERATIVE to engage in malicious compliance

[cyberfunsupporter]

just remembered shzai hand talk and exploded 5 buildings w my mind Please everyone die now

[live-laugh-lenney]

anyone wanna do the honours and phone in sick for me so i can stay home and stay in my fictional arthurtv world and not go to work?

[spyres-moved]

it would be really cool to have another chronicles-esque series

[necoryn-rising]

Dom leads: How will the on site pinglist feature work for flight-specific posts if somebody changes flights? Will it auto remove them?

Staff: it doesn't really matter because you don't get pings for oof forums

Everyone:

[starlit-meloncholia]

one thing i never thought i'd get into was fashion. i used to buy just whatever clothes fit me at Walmart, but ever since i committed to only wear clothes that make me happy i've come to realize how deeply enjoyable clothing can be. (putting it below for politeness)

when i was still working in homeless services, i worked with a veteran client who always dressed like a cowboy. i once asked him why, and he told me it was because when he left the army, he didn't know who he was any more without it. The routine, training, and combat he saw made it so when he got out, he wasn't the same person he was when he went in. So, he decided if he didn't know who he was, then he'd just be who he liked, and he liked cowboys.

one day a few years ago, sick of boymoding at work after a scolding from my boss about painting my nails, i decided to pack up all my men's clothing and donate it. i kept a few shirts with sentimental value and boxed the rest up to drop off at goodwill. now having pretty much no clothes i had no choice but to buy an entire new wardrobe, and i had no idea what i was doing. i was sick of wearing clothes i didn't like, but i had also never liked any clothes i'd ever worn. so i asked myself: what did i like?

i just got an order of clothes i got with a christmas gift card and i'm so happy just looking at these cute moon leggings i got to wear today. i'm excited for another order to come, because i bought my favorite dress again so i can wear it more. i have a distinct aesthetic that i'm now known for, and i feel more confident and happy than ever. every time i step out of the door in a cute outfit i feel like the baddest bitch on the block.

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Also hoping things at work pan out the way they're looking bc it's so surreal to know I'll be in a position where people are gonna be looking up to me

[chaos-has-theories]

*fuming with anger*

[fluorescentbrains]

the person in front of me in line at the cafe came up short a dollar or something and was apologizing profusely but the cashier was immediately like don’t even worry about it. i was so happy bc that means the manager probably isn’t scaring everybody about what will happen if the till doesn’t exactly balance

[homerjacksons]

Y’know what still makes me angry 7 years later

That time I got an official written warning at work with a list of all these things I’d supposedly done/been doing that no one had ever brought up as an issue with me prior to this written warning

All because I left work 10 minutes early one day

After having done an average of 5 hrs of unpaid over time a week the entire year I’d been working in that role

And despite the fact that I’d come in 30 mins early that morning