#compared the fan reactions to him to a concert and she was so shocked because we love him

[farfromsugafanfic]

Caramel Macchiato

Genre: Coffeeshop AU, Former Friends to Lovers, Fluff

Pairing: Jungkook/Reader

Warnings: cringe and awkward moments lol

Synopsis: Your first kiss happened during the pocky game in high school. The boy you kissed, Jeon Jungkook, was a trainee. You planned to forget it and shove down any leftover feelings. Although, it’s a bit hard to do that when his face is on the billboard outside the coffee shop you work at. It becomes even harder when the man himself walks in with the sound of the bells on the door.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

It was a busy day at the cafe. You acted as if you didn't know why, but you'd seen multiple fans come in wearing BTS merch. There was a BTS concert at the nearby arena that night. 

You didn't think about Jungkook much anymore. But occasionally, on days like that one, it seemed unavoidable. You kept seeing his face everywhere. On customer's T-shirts, on magazine covers, on billboards. He was unavoidable. 

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

You knew he was doing exactly what he wanted. Back in school, everyone knew he was trainee. Girls fawned over him, even if he himself was shy and tried to avoid them. Sometimes one of the members would come to pick him up, and everyone stared at the older boy. 

After he debuted, it'd been even worse. People pretending to be his friend, playing the video to embarrass him at lunch; but he never let it phase him.

He'd approached you one day. The two of you had never really paid each other much mind before. You shared a few classes, but had never interacted outside of them before. 

"You're one of the top students, right?" he asked, as you stood at your locker and placed the books from your last class inside. 

You nodded. 

"I was wondering if you had time if you could help me with my math? I want to do well on the next test and all the hyungs besides Namjoon hyung are bad at math. And he told me that I should try to make friends, and you seemed nice." 

You smiled at his obvious nervous rambling. You figured he was probably just embarrassed to be asking for help.

"Sure," you said. "Do you have time after school?" 

"No," he said. "We get a day off on Sunday though. We can meet sometime then." 

You nodded and exchanged numbers.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

You met up at a cafe that Sunday. You both had brought along your math textbooks and a notebook and you were currently showing him how to solve a complicated equation. 

"Make sure you solve this part first or else you'll end up with the wrong answer. You can tell which part you have to solve first because of the parenthesis." 

He took notes diligently and listened intently as he explained each problem to him and corrected his mistakes. 

After the study session, he offered to buy you a coffee for helping him. You smiled and accepted. 

"Caramel Macchiato," you told the waitress.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

"You have Jungkook's number?" one of your friends asked. 

You shrugged and took another bite of your lunch. 

"Yeah, I helped him in math once. What's the big deal?"

"What's the big deal?" you friend asked, a look of shock crossing her face. "You have an idol's phone number!I'm going to call him!" 

"No!" you said, reaching for your phone, but it was too late. 

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

"You called me earlier?" Jungkook asked after you answered the phone. 

"Oh no, sorry, that was my friend. She thought it would be funny to call you. I'm really sorry about that, I can delete it so it doesn't happen again." 

"No, no, it's okay. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay." 

"Oh, uh, yeah, thanks."

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

You're not exactly sure how you both ended up at the same party. You knew Jungkook wasn't really the partying type as he was too busy and focused on his career. You were too focused on school to go to parties. But somehow you both ended up at the same one. 

"Y/N!" he called. "I never expected to see you here." 

"Nor I you," you said. "I'm sure it's not much compared to the big idol parties you go to." 

"I don't go to many idol parties. But I much prefer smaller ones like this." 

"Come on, let's go play a game. We can't spend the whole time just talking to each other." 

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

Something you discovered about Jungkook is he was competitive and determined, just like yourself. He rarely ever gave up. When the idea of the pocky game came up, you were nervous knowing that if you refused to lose, you'd end up kissing someone. You'd never kissed anyone before, but decided to go along with the game, figuring you probably could just sit and watch the whole time. 

"Y/N!" the MC of the game called. "And..." She stuck her hand back into the hat and pulled out the next name. "Jungkook!" 

A series of ooohs and aaahs rang out. A few girls eyed you jealously, but all you could focus on was the nervous rumbling in your stomach. 

You and Jungkook each took hold of either end of the pocky stick with your mouths. 

"Go!" the MC said. 

You and Jungkook both bit through the candy, neither one of you turning away. Within a few seconds, your lips touched. You knew the first to pull away lost and you had too much pride to pull away immediately. Eventually, Jungkook pulled away, allowing you to win. 

You smiled, but couldn't help the blush on your cheeks. Jungkook, too, looked slightly flushed. 

"Loser," you smirked, feeling an odd wave of confidence wash over you.

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

"Hey, let me know when you get home," Jungkook said, as the party ended. "It's late." 

"I will," you said. You wanted to talk about the kiss, but you were too awkward to bring it up. Instead you let the conversation sit between you. 

"Bye, Y/N." 

"Bye, Jungkook."

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

Other than graduation, that was the last time you'd talked to Jungkook. You still had his number, but with BTS now much more popular, you figured he'd probably changed it. 

You finished up the drink you were working on and went to hand it out. 

"A caramel macchiato for..." you glanced down at the name. "Jungkook." 

You were surprised to see his name and you figured it couldn't be him, but when you looked up you were met with his familiar eyes. 

"Jungkook!" you exclaimed, spilling the drink in the process. 

The caramel macchiato spilled all over Jungkook's white T-shirt and you chastised yourself for your careless behavior. 

"I'm so sorry!" 

Your co-workers looked at you pitifully and allowed you to excuse yourself to help him clean up. It was your fault after all. 

﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤

You stood in the small single bathroom in the cafe. You wet paper towels and proceeded to help Jungkook clean the coffee and milk off his shirt. 

"I'm sorry," you said again. "I was just surprised to see you." 

"It's okay," he said. "This is just the Gucci shirt V hyung got me for my birthday." 

Your face immediately fell into shock and you felt terrible for probably ruining a gift. 

"I'm kidding," he said, chuckling at your reaction. "It's nice to see you again. Going to university like you planned?" 

You nodded. 

"I work here mainly on the weekends." 

"I'm glad I caught you on a day you worked. You know, it's actually kind of funny, I just thought about you today." 

"Me?"

"Yes," he said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a slightly squished box of pocky. "I bought it for the hyungs as a good luck present before the show." 

You smiled as you eyed the box. 

"We were so young. I can't believe you still remember that." 

"Most people don't forget their first kiss."

You were surprised. You had assumed that it hadn't been Jungkook's first kiss based on the way the girls at school used to fawn over him. 

"It was your first kiss, too?" 

Jungkook nodded and smiled down at you. 

"I'm glad it was you," he said. 

You hadn't noticed that you'd stopped wiping of his shirt. You went back to it, but Jungkook interrupted you. 

He held a pocky stick in his mouth. 

"What do you say? For old time's sake?" 

You giggled and placed your lips on the other end. It didn't take long for your lips to touch, but neither of you pulled away for longer this time. But eventually, you pulled away, remembering that you were still at work. 

"Loser," he smirked, looking down at you.

[kalaluchi]

chapter 05: Jagged Stone

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Marinette was confused.

How could two people go from comfortable banter to awkward silence in a span of two days? She’d heard of going from 0 to 100 real quick, but she’d never thought it’d happen to her.

More accurately -- to her and Adrien.

She stared at the back of his head, wondering where she’d gone wrong, as Mme. Bustier droned on with her lesson.

Marinette had really thought she’d finally gotten over the shy-awkward-start phase after the whole movie “date” last Friday. (She still wasn’t sure if that had been meant as an actual date, or as a chill friend hangout. And frankly, she was too scared to ask.)

But then the weekend came and they’d barely talked. (Though she’d been secretly hoping for a random good morning from him or something -- even just once.) She’d been busy baking and cramming assignments and random projects, and just like that the weekend was over.

It was now Monday, and she was sad to think all her efforts to become closer had gone down the drain. They’d exchanged greetings as she made her way to her seat that morning, but it was now 2 periods after lunch, and he hadn’t spoken to her at all. There weren’t even any of the corny memes he used to send when they were both bored in class.

Not that he’d been ignoring her, though. It just seemed like… he’d forgotten about her or had nothing more to say to her.

She probably could have reached out herself… but every time she was about to approach him, she felt like she was walking on eggshells. One wrong step, one wrong word, and something would crack.

She groaned, painfully aware that she was probably overthinking things too much. She checked her phone for the 10th time that period -- no new messages.

Marinette let out a sigh.

One apparently much louder than she’d intended.

“Anything to share with the class, Marinette?” Mme. Bustier’s voice broke through her thoughts.

She bit her lip, her ears red. “No, Mme. Bustier. Sorry,” she murmured, embarrassed.

She thought it was absolutely worth it though, because just then Adrien offered her a small smile in sympathy before turning back to face the front. So there was hope for them yet.

She sat back in her seat, deep in thought again. On impulse, she leaned forward and tapped Adrien’s shoulder while Mme. Bustier was facing the blackboard.

“Do you, uh, can I borrow a pen?” Marinette whispered in his ear.

If she didn’t know any better, she would’ve thought Adrien was blushing slightly from the sudden interaction. “Here you go,” he replied in the same quiet voice.

Her fingers tingled when they brushed his during the exchange, but she thanked him anyway. She really had no intention of using the pen (she’d never leave home without her beloved pencil case, with all the colorful pens and markers, please) so she decided to wait until class ended to return it and use it as an excuse to start a conversation.

Brilliant! This must be what Alya feels when she comes up with one of her schemes.

.

.

.

An hour later, as Adrien began packing his bag to go home, Marinette tapped him on the shoulder nervously. Her brilliant-a-period-ago plan was starting to not feel brilliant at all.

Nevertheless, she held out the pen to him, smiling. “Thanks for lending me this a while ago. You’re a lifesaver.”

He chuckled easily. “No problem. You looked like you needed some life-saving,” he joked.

Marinette couldn’t help but scoff at that. “I can save myself, thanks,” she muttered, in a tone sharper than she intended.

“Of course,” the blond backtracked hastily. “I didn’t mean to assume, I just--”

“Is… that a Jagged wallpaper?” Marinette asked suddenly, immediately forgetting the earlier offense.

“Uh, yeah. You listen to Jagged Stone?”

“Listen to Jagged? Get out, I practically breathe Jagged! Wow, I can’t believe he didn’t come up once in our conversations…”

“Well, I… didn’t really peg you to be a Jagged girl, honestly. No offense, though, I really don’t know why it didn’t occur to me. I mean, now it seems obvious. You’re nearly as cool as him.”

“Shut up,” Marinette laughed, waving away the compliment. “No one is as cool as Jagged. And it’s okay, I didn’t peg you to be a Jagged fan either.”

“You’re kidding. How could I not? A great singer, and a great player too. Piano, guitar, you name it! Heck, I bet he could even play, like, a lyre or something.”

Marinette scrunched her nose and raised an eyebrow. “A liar and a player at once? Can’t say that’s exactly my type. I’ve met too many of those, thanks.”

Red spots bloomed in Adrien’s cheeks as he sputtered, “No, I’m not-- that’s not what I--”

“I’m joking,” she interrupted, honestly surprised at his reaction. So annoyingly endearing.

“Oh.” Adrien sighed in relief, as Marinette bit back a smile.

There was an awkward pause as she thought of what else to add.

She had just opened her mouth when Adrien blurted, “There’s actually a Jagged show tomorrow.”

“Yeah, part of the Jagged Worldwide tour, right? I’ve got my room all set up with 3 flavors of popcorn to eat while I stream it.”

“Actually,” Adrien said somewhat nervously, “I may or may not have an extra ticket to the show, thanks to the Agreste brand and all.”

“Get out,” Marinette deadpanned, in shock.

(Adrien noted that that was the second time she’d said that in the last five minutes, and chuckled internally. How cute.)

“So, you wanna go?”

There it was again. That… awkward is-this-a-friend-thing situation. Marinette’s conscience told her no, don’t fall for his trap! He definitely only sees you as a friend, you’ll just get hurt if you hope for more! Which, true… but then again. This was Jagged. How could she say no?

“I’m in.” She beamed, bouncing on the soles of her feet. Even though the concert was on a school night, she was fairly sure her parents would let her go once they found out it was another ‘date’ with Adrien.

“Hey, Nino! Marinette said she’s game to come with us to the concert tomorrow,” Adrien called over his shoulder at his best friend.

“Sweet! See you there, my dude! I’ll pass the news on to Alya.” He gave a last wave before leaving.

Ah. So definitely not a date. At least she was aware.

Unless… a double date? Marinette groaned inwardly. Why did things have to be so complicated? She could almost feel the headache she was going to get from all this. (Especially now knowing that Alya would be involved.)

.

.

.

Marinette had never seen so many people in her life.

If she thought her bakery’s end-of-the-month sales were insanely crowded, that was nothing compared to the mass of people at the concert grounds, tightly packed and eagerly awaiting the arrival of their favorite singer.

As usual, something went wrong right off the bat. Their little group of four had gathered outside the grounds at 4:30pm sharp, but it hadn’t even been five minutes since they’d entered and already Alya and Nino were nowhere to be seen.

Marinette panicked immediately, obviously, frantically searching for the telltale brown-red-tipped hair of her best friend.

Adrien calmed her down immediately, saying that the lovebirds probably wanted to ‘spend some alone time together.’

Had Marinette been in a normal state of mind, she might’ve noticed that this practically reeked of another of Alya’s schemes. As it is, she simply allowed herself to be led by the blond-haired boy.

“Let’s go this way so we’re closer to the stage,” Adrien said gently, steering her one way. “Here, you can… hold my hand so we don’t get separated,” he added softly, taking her hand in his.

Soft. She was surprised to find that his hands were smooth and uncalloused. Well… she didn’t know what she had expected, but she thought they were absolutely fine as they were.

They finally made their way to the front as the singer stepped onto the stage to an eruption of cheers. She had to bite back a pout as Adrien dropped her hand to clap his own. She was about to suggest they link hands for the entirety of the concert, but all thoughts disappeared once the music started playing. She let herself get lost in the song, letting go of all her fears and doubts just this once, dancing to the tune, jumping to the beat.

A few minutes in, Adrien leaned in close. “I love this song,” he said, speaking directly into her ear to be heard over the crowd’s screams.

“Me too!” she shouted in reply, hoping in her heart it were actually words of endearment he’d said.

Once the first five songs ended, Jagged Stone stepped up to the mic, and a quiet hush spread through the crowd, waiting with bated breath for what he would say.

“I just want to thank everyone here for coming,” he started, pausing when the crowd roared their approval. He laughed heartily. “Never in my life would I imagine I’d be getting crowds like this, especially right here in Paris. Not many people know this, but I didn’t always like the name Jagged Stone. I mean, as is, it’s really nothing, right? It is what it is: a stone that is jagged. That means cut different from the rest, sort of sharp around the edges, prone to hurting others. Who would want that, right? Growing up, I was told I’d probably amount to nothing, so maybe I should choose a safer, more secure path. But then-- and here’s the key-- I grew up. And look where I am now.”

Marinette whooped along with the other concert goers, wanting her support to be evident.

“See, that’s the thing,”Jagged continued, on a roll. “These things take time. I came to love the name Jagged Stone. Because over the years, stones that are jagged smoothen around the edges. They become toned, weathered. They become the kind of precious stone you see being used in jewelry, maybe. Suddenly they’re something beautiful, valuable. Meaningful. Are they different from what they were before? Of course. But are they still themselves? Absolutely. Was that greatness there all along, right from the start? Without a doubt.

So to everyone out there: don’t rush it. Everything moves at its own pace. You may seem sharp around the edges, but that’s just how we are. Other people might not know how to approach those edges, afraid of getting hurt. But give it time. The ride will smoothen out. I want you to remember that there is already something valuable in each of you, even at this very moment. It’ll just take time for you to get used to that something, to hone it into the best version of you.

And speaking of time, I’d like to thank you all for the time you’ve given to be here! With that I’ll be performing my last song of the concert, my brand new single: Miraculous!”

.

.

.

“That. Was. Amazing.”

Ten minutes later, Adrien and Marinette had navigated their way out of the thick of the crowd, and were making their way to the meet-up spot as previously discussed.

“Definitely,” Marinette agreed, taking a bite of the cotton candy she’d bought. “That speech before the last song? That was my favorite part.”

“Really? He played six songs and not one of them classifies as your favorite part?”

“Oh, be quiet,” Marinette scoffed, shoving his shoulder lightly. “Stop judging. It just… hit close to home, I guess.”

“Oh… Well, uh, I don’t really know any of the context, but you do know you’re pretty amazing, right? As you are right now.”

Marinette took another bite to hide the blush spreading across her cheeks. “Thanks,” she said meekly, unsure of how else to respond.

“There you are!” a voice called. Marinette suddenly found herself enveloped in a tight hug. “I can’t believe we got separated right at the start! Nino here wouldn’t even let me go look for you because we’d found a great spot, he said.”

“Hey!” her boyfriend protested. “You were the one who said let the two lov-- oof, did you have to step on me foot?”

“Oops, accident,” Alya said lightly. “So anyway, how did you two find the concert?”

“It was fun,” Marinette replied softly, wrapping her arms around her best friend’s waist.

“Yeah? Something interesting happen?”

Marinette laughed. “No, I guess not. It was just… I don’t know, it seemed pretty--”

“-- miraculous,” Adrien finished, and they all had to agree.

As they headed back, Marinette reflected that maybe it wasn’t so bad she’d been treading on eggshells just the other day. Maybe her relationship with Adrien was just like what Jagged had said in his speech. At the moment rough at the edges, either party cautious of how to proceed in fear of hurting the other or getting hurt. And that was okay.

Because eventually, it would smoothen out.

And eventually, maybe, just maybe, it would bloom into something beautiful-- something hopefully more than friendship.

All they really needed was time.

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[hjh-ceilo-monster]

Miracle in December (Soulmate AU / Ot 7)

Do you believe in a winter miracle? Perhaps, such thing can be exist. Well, for me it was hard to believe too. Not until I met 7 guys during a christmas week. Who knows, not even me, that moment changed me for life.

a/n : This is going to be my first poly bts story so bear with all my mistakes ok? Also, you might see hundreds of soulmate au. I will try my best to write this one, promise. (Sign : Tattoo)

Summary :  Jimin and Namjoon remembered you from the Christmas eve concert. They had the urge that you were their soulmate since then. One day, when everyone entered the cafe, they all met you. Perhaps this was the time for those two to find a prove.

Y/N POV.

21th December

I hated this pandemic so much. I sighed while sipping the tea. This was a week of Christmas, but nothing was going on. No celebration nor decoration around the town. The snow started covering some part of Seoul yet no one came out and felt excited about it. This was the first snow!

‘Ha, my favorite song.’ I glanced at my phone which now playing one of the songs in love yourself album, Her. I loved the meaning of this song. Every time I listen to it, I have an urge to glance at my tattoo.

In this world, a soulmate is common among people. By finding your partner, there must be some sign that connects you with him/her. For me, it was a tattoo. A set of butterflies with different colors were flying and white petals were also flowing along with them.

Sadly, I didn’t find mine yet and now I am 26 years old. Not like I cared since I had already given it up on my 24th birthday. The bell then rang and the door widely open. I glanced at the new customers. They were a group of men. I took my eyes off them before they noticed my gaze and thought I am a creep.

“Hyung I will take a seat there with Jungkook and Namjoon hyung. Order anything for me.” I heard one of them spoke. Hearing those names, my eyes widened a bit.

How could I not? They were BTS....my fav band ever. I was listening to their song a minute ago when the bell rang and they entered. I tried my best to not glanced toward them again. I didn’t want to act like  a stalker.

Author POV.

You were sitting in the corner of the cafe while gazing out the window. Little do you know that someone caught you glanced at them before you took your eyes off.

‘Why is she so familiar?’ Namjoon thought while looking at you. He kept thinking until he took a seat. 

“Jimin, corner table,” Namjoon whispered to the younger boy. Jimin's eyes then started searching until he found your presence. He gasped quietly yet Jungkook and Namjoon caught the sound.

“Hyung, she was that girl remember...when I told you guys last year after our Christmas eve concert...” Jimin chirped excitingly. Making the others who just arrived at the table wonder.

“This cafe is nice. You pick a good choice today.” Hoseok complimented Taehyung.

“What were you guys talking and why were you staring at that girl?”

“Shhhh hyung, you will make her notice us.” Jimin and Jungkook spoke in unison, replying Yoongi.

You then looked around the cafe. You were bored so you decided to order some snacks to fill up your stomach. Jungkook with Namjoon started standing up and followed you.

“I would like...red velvet macaroon please.” You ordered the cashier without noticing 2 men standing next to you.

“We would like to have the same as her please,” Jungkook spoke. Namjoon then took out the cash and paid for you as well as their order.

“Uhh thank you, but you didn’t need to...”

“We insist.” They answered. While waiting, Namjoon struck the conversation with you and followed by Jungkook. Then they invited you to their table. The other, except Jimin, was sitting there with confusion.

“Finally...hi I’m Ji-”

“Uhh well...I know you guys.” You looked at the floor while spoke. Hoseok and Jin glanced at  me with a smile on their face.

“This is akward. Why do you drag the girl here? She must be startled by us.” Jin spoke.

“But she is our...” Jungkook and Jimin tried to reply, but Yoongi interrupted.

“I know she looks familiar...you went to our concert last year, right? For the Christmas eve concert. These two told us they had a feeling that you were our soulmate.”

“I don’t think I’m...” You didn’t get a chance to finish your sentence when Taehyung noticed the tattoo- imprinted the sets of butterflies and petals scattered around them. Representing different colors.

“Yes, you are.” He revealed his sleeves and showed his butterfly tattoo; Representing his color.

Poly soulmates were common, but 7? and with them all? You didn’t want to believe it. Not until when all of them decided to show their wrists. Each of them owns a colored butterfly. Not all of them had the same tattoo as yours, but adding together it was similar to you, except the petals that only you had them.

“Well...let’s call this our first quick date yeah?” Jin proposed.

22nd December

Finding yourself standing in front of their managers and Bang PD nim wasn’t something you expected to happen today. The boys told everything to them and introduced you.

While they were talking, you stood still in your place. You were sweating, despite the cold weather. Your hands were shaking like crazy so does your heart. The sound ‘Lub-Dub’ was so loud that you were so sure everyone could hear it.

“Y/N.... your wrist,” Yoongi called you. You snapped back to the real world and showed them your wrist.

“Unbelievable.” The manager's expression was beyond shock. They couldn’t believe the elegant mark that appears on your skin. Bang PD nim, however, only smiled and gently patted you on your shoulder.

“Welcome to Big Hit, this is such a surprise for me. I never know my boys will grow up so fast. Also, I heard from Jhope that you were their fan, right?” You nodded.

“Then be careful, I think after we have an official announcement, some fans will be wild. If they are too much, tell me and I will take action on that.”

Later on, all of you went to their dorm. They planned to show you around first so you will be familiar with it when you move in after the announcement. Their dorm was huge. Comparing this to your home, yours shouldn’t even call ‘home’.

“What do you want to do? We didn’t have any plan except give you a tour for today. We were sorry that we didn’t ask you what you like or dislike yesterday. It seems like we ranted about ourselves too much.” Namjoon gave you an apology look so do the others.

“No... it fines. Today, a lot happen to me.” You spoke with a soft voice. The feeling of anxiety didn’t leave you alone yet.

‘Then be careful, I think after we have an official announcement, some fans will be wild.’ Thinking of that situation, your face drained color. You were worry that those people would think you were taking advantage of them. This will be a rare case toward the public when the company gives an announcement.

They all looked at each other. Your face showed the word ‘anxiety’ clearly. They then decided to do some icebreaking activities. From playing games, eating dinner together, and having movies night at the end. Everything was simple-but thanks to their efforts, it calmed you down.

Lastly, they finally got to know who you are.

23rd December

Since they weren’t sure whether they will have any schedule on 25th December; they decided to divide today into half. In the morning half, you would be with the hyung line. The afternoon is for the maknae line.

“Ready?” Jin asked the others. They all sat scattered in the living room with patience.

When you stepped out of the room, all eyes were on you. Your palms sweated and your body shook a little. Each of them then started showing different reactions.

“Stop staring, I know I did a great job,” Jin spoke to snapped them back to reality.

“It’s because of Y/N.” Everyone mumble in unison. You who didn’t really know why they were staring got nervous even more.

“Ready, princess?” Jin asked. Namjoon, Yoongi and Jhope were already standing behind him.

‘Ahhh stop my heart is going to burst.’ You chanted in your head while you tried to calm yourself down and nodded as an answer.The maknaes sent you off and bidded you a good bye.

“It so quiet.” You looked around the places. The snow fell and piled themself up-Looking so soft like giant pillows. The atmosphere that usually would be loud with giggles and laughters was nowhere to be seen. You missed the old christmas. 

“It isn’t really fun this year, but at least we get to hang out without anyone bother us.” Jhope replied.

“Pandemic isn’t agood thing. However, we appriciate the time for ourselves. I don’t remember the last time I can walk down the street and relax like this as kim namjoon. This is refreshing.”

You felt guilty and delight at the same time. Guilty because what they had said after your comment. Still, you felt delight that you could walk around with them without creating any controversy.

This small date with them so far was lovely. Even though it was just walking around town, went to each of their favourite places and took pictures, you enjoyed the moment. You were happy they got to enjoy themselves and be themselves. This was how the date should be.

“Y/N...let selfie here.” Jin grabbed you and put you in the middle while the four of them gathered by your side.

click 

“Y/N...Y/N...let’s play arcade.” Taehyung proposed the idea while his eyes shoned brightly as if they were stars.

“Yeah let’s pair up. Me and Y/N, you and Jimin hyung.” Jungkook wrapped his arm around your shoulder. Your body got tense. The other two scolded him for his action.

After a long long arguement of who should be your partner, you finally got to play some games. You told them you would pair up with all of them. That became a final decision.

“Both of you should seperate, you guys are too good.” Jimin whined and pouted. When you and Jungkook became a pair, to 95 lines, it was like they had zero chance to win. 

“No.. I’m not...that good.” You denied with a stutter.

“I didn’t know you are an arcade geek.” Taehyung teased. Your face which already turned pink became crimson red. You couldn’t really handle when someone compliment or tease you. 

“Anothe round?” Jungkook proposed.

let’s go!

24th December

“Anything more?” You asked Jin and Jhope who was checking carefully. They didn’t want to miss any decorations for tomorrow.

“I think that’s all. Hyung, do you want me to buy more meat? I think there’s not much left in the fridge.” Namjoon checked the fridge again to make sure what they need to buy more.

“Finished?” 

Yoongi stood with a car key ready in his hand. When Jin finished the list, he gave to you. Jhope also reminded you and Namjoon to get everything, especially Namjoon.

“Please, take care of this baby as well.”

“Uhh..huh?” You nodded while Namjoon protested in the back. 

Indeed, on the 25th December, they had to perform. You made sure to go there and support them. Their performance was perfect. You eyes glued toward the screen in the back stage. You heart beated accordingly to the songs and your own excitement.

“How was it Y/N?” Jimin asked you pridefully. You were still zone out even after the performance finish for awhile and they entered the room.

“Her eyes glued to the screen.” The manager crew then chuckled. Making you blush and hid you face with your palm. With that sight, all of them laughed with delight.

“Now it’s the time to celebrate!!!” Jhope hyped with Jungkook and Taehyung along his side.

Living with them for nearly a week made you see various things. You got to know who their real selves. Everything about them that you got to learn was such a surprise, in spite that, you fell for them. And for this time, it wasn’t because of how they were your idols with good looking faces, enchanted voice and hardcore rap skills. This was because of their personalities, how they get along sometimes and fight the other time, how they were like biological brothers and how they loved one another.

Penny for your thought

You snapped back to reality. It has been a week and a half. You didn’t think that day at the cafe would lead you here. Thanking youself and your decision, you then answered the owner of that question.

“What is running in your little mind,petal?”

“Nothing really, just trying to process...”

“You still don’t believe it, do you.” Namjoon sighed and took a seat opposite you. Sipping his favourit cup of coffee, he looked at you deeply. You felt like he was searching something within your soul.

“Well, if you were in my position, it would be hard to believe, wouldn’t it?” You threw a question back to him as your answer.

“It wouldn’t, we trust our feeling.” Another voice appeared in between their conversation. Jungkook who just entered with Yoongi appraoched you guys and took a seat.

“It hard to explain, but when we first took a glance in the crowd and saw you, there was this feeling pounding in our chest....”

“And none of us couldn’t ignore it.” Yoongi finished Jungkook’s sentence.

Three of them now looked at you. Their eyes were begging you to believe and have a faith in them. Even if, this was something out of ordinary. 

“What a serious convo...” 

The rest of them entered. Jhope spoke and gathered around the four of you. Taehyung and Jimin could see how the other three tensed up. Jin, who tried hard to understand the situation, looked at you for the answer.

“You didn’t reject us, did you?” Jin asked with his firm voice.

Now six pair of eyes stared at you, fully upset with what thir oldest has asked. In the pass week, they had already prepared for rejection. However, as a human, they protected themselves by thinnking positively that you wouldn’t say it. 

BTS, the world boy band, wouldn’t get reject from anyone especially their own soulmate. Everyone loved them...right?

The atmosphere filled with nothing but silence. No one dared to speak. Only looking around and to each other. They sat there sweating. Heart beated like a drum. They couldn’t even breathe properly anymore.

“If I rejected you that day, I wouldn’t be here. Am I right?” Your arms now widely openned. And like the kids who finally found their mother, they ran into you and hugged tightly. Gripping on you as if you would escape them.

“Happy new year guys.”

“Happy new year petal.”

Perhaps, december is the most miraculous month.

Hey hey hey, first of, happy new year. I hope you guys will have a nice 2021. I planned to put this up earlier, but guess who knocked out in front of the lap top? Thanks for reading this story. This is my first poly ff so again bear with me. See you next story and HNY again...

[dobrikburrito]

great expectations, d.d.

words: 2.4k

Write something about david surprising his girlfriend with a surprise trip to like hawaii cos its her dream vacation and when the vlog goes up people compare it to the vacation dav and liza took and it makes her upset and her cheers her up. ( She wasnt a public figure and people didnt think they should be together)

disclaimer: angst & fluff. david being cute af. 

⠀ 

“Okay, give it to me.” You sat down by the corner of his bed, putting both of your hands out and closing your eyes. You smiled to yourself. “That’s what she said.”

David burst out laughing. “Can you be serious for one minute?”

“You’re one to talk,” You opened your eyes and gave him a dirty look. “By the way, I just want to say on the record that David promised that nothing gross was about to happen here. I wanted to put this out there so he can be held accountable if I have a heart attack.”

David couldn’t stop laughing, so he pointed the camera to himself. “I did promise that, unfortunately, so I had to put the anaconda away.”

“That’s what she said.” You laughed and slapped yourself. “Bad (Y/N). Alright, me-serious. Go.”

“You know how our friends say we’re really annoying with the whole anniversary every month?” David started and you nodded. “So, I had this really fun idea, which actually makes me a genius.”

“Show off.” You commented under your breath and he chuckled.

“So I decided to combine our fourth month anniversary with your birthday and…” David put two plane tickets on your hands.

You looked at David, confused and then took one second to read the tickets. Your mouth instantly dropped. “What the fuck? Oh sorry.” David laughed. “Wait, are you serious? Is this real?”

“Yes, baby!” David was loving how shocked and paralyzed you were. “This says Hawaii in it.” You commented, looking at it, trying to find any clues that it was a fake ticket for a prank.

David turned the camera to himself. “She’ll get there, just give her a minute.”

“Are we going to Hawaii?” You looked at your boyfriend, puppy eyes and jaw to the floor.

“Yeap, we’re spending 7 days in a mansion in Hawaii.” David told you and the new information just hit you even harder?

“What the fuck?” You were looking away, shocked. David burst out laughing again.

Cut to you guys on the plane, first class tickets, with a fake flower on your ear, being all excited and childish. David ordered two glasses of champagne for the both of you.

“This is literally so extra,” You laughed, posing as some fancy old lady, then doing a british accent. “David, dear, would you please take care of my ponies for the summer. I’m spending it in my mansion in Dubai. I miss my liquid gold pool.”

“Why are you british?” David was laughing so much.

“I’m not talking like Dom to try and look fancy, silly.” You joked around, then smiling to your boyfriend.

You arrived to Hawaii, rented a porsche, headed to the rental house in Kamuela. David filmed you driving there, your hair flying on the wind, loving how big the smile on your face was. The drive was about 50 minutes, which earned some shots from the road, the two of you singing to Ariana’s songs and being overall weirdos.

David filmed your whole reaction to the massive mansion just for the two of you. Feelings every feeling known to man at once, you couldn’t help the tears of happiness when you saw how beautiful everything was. It had an infinity pool, a jacuzzi, a green big yard, enormous rooms with an amazing view to the sea and sunset. David didn’t want to tell you the day price of the rental at first, but you managed to get it out of him, shocked when he told you it was US$1.5k for the night.

It was a lot of money, but you made a 7-days schedule to enjoy the most of it and have so much footage for his vlogs that the trip would end up paying itself. Honestly, you were always amazed by how David never really thought twice about spending money on you and making sure that he was doing it because he loved to. Rarely spending on himself, this was just as rewarding to him.

The next three vlogs were filled with the funniest moments of you guys snorkeling, golfing, hiking, sightseeing, watching cultural concerts, doing surf lessons (which turned out horribly), visiting local markets even going on a helicopter ride, even though you were scared to death of the height. 

On the fourth day, you woke up before David did. You just took one moment to watch him sleep, so peacefully, next to you. You knew how lucky you were to have him in your life, but not because he was a successful youtuber or because he had money. When you met him, randomly at a friend’s friend party, you didn’t even knew who he was and you loved him instantly, his humor and charm sweeping you off your feet.

Even though you weren’t a public figure nor ever was used to having cameras around, you got used to it, compromising for your relationship with him, knowing how this was basically his entire life.

“You know I can feel you staring at me, right, creep?” David said, eyes still closed but a little smirk lurking in his lips.

“I’m trying to decide when to murder you, that’s all.” You softly joked as you ran your fingertips over his cheeks. David loved your dark humor and laughed to himself, taking your hand and kissing it.

“Good morning my favorite serial killer.” He lazily opened his eyes.

“Good morning pretty boy.” You gave him a long peck on the lips. “Did I tell you how much I love you yet?”

“Not today, no.” David snuggled closer to you, humming happily when you started caressing his hair.

“I do. I love how you do that little smile with your tongue hanging and how no matter what you do to your hair, it always kinda looks both great and like you’re turning into a mad scientist.” David chuckled, hiding his face on your neck. “I love how you’re always looking to hold my hand, even when you don’t realize it.”

“Tell me more,” David gave you a sweet kiss on the neck.

“I love how you respect and love me. How you look at me with those shiny brown eyes and how those are the reason I never can’t get mad at you, which by itself makes me mad.” You sighed, then laughed. “And how selfless you are, how much you care for your friends even if sometimes you try to not to show it too much.”

“You wanna know what I love about you?” David looked up at you, his hair looking like he was definitely a mad scientist, which instantly made you chuckle. “I love your butt.”

You burst out laughing, putting your hand on his face. “Asshole, I was here pouring my heart out like a good old Todd Smith poem and you do me like that.” David chuckled for a good minute, hiding his face again and holding you tight. “My butt is pretty good, I guess.”

David nodded and you pulled his hair. “Ouch, (Y/N), the fuck.” He looked back at you. “Wait, do it again.” You rolled your eyes and tried to let go of him, only earning you deathly tickles. 

Since his next posting day was tomorrow, you reserved half the day for David to edit some of the footage of the trip to post. The video was up early in the morning, after long hours of editing, so through the first couple of hours since the video was up, David was asleep on your bed.

Curiosity always got the best of you and you checked the video again, loving the whole montages and fun moments, but your attention soon focusing on the mean comments.

Can someone make an edit with all the same scenes from this vlog and David and Liza’s vlog in Hawaii? lol

Someone tell David he found a gold digger, plz.

She’s trying too hard to replace Liza, never gonna happen hun.

Who’s gonna tell her the minute Liza calls David will drop her ass? lmao

All this money dropping on what’s-her-name. Not even that pretty tbh.

Damn she must have a top sex game to whip him up like that.

How’s it like being a long-ass rebound for David while Liza is away?

This is literally the same trip he did with Liza wtf

David can do so much better she doesn’t deserve him

I kinda like her but she’s clearly after his clout

Every word was a knife to the heart, over and over and over again. It broke your heart how much comparison there was between you and Liza, and how come most of his fans never accepted you. This wasn’t the first time you read mean comments, but this time it was deeper. They knew exactly how to hurt you.

You were sitting by yourself by the porch, looking out of the amazing view of Hawaii, a dream come true for you. Wrapped up in a small blanket, you couldn’t help but cry to yourself. The feeling you had is that your relationship was doomed for the start and that you’d never live up to his fans’ expectations because you simply wasn’t Liza.

“There you are, I’ve been looking all over for you.” David made his way towards you.

You quickly cleaned the running tears, knowing it wasn’t doing much, since your face was read and swollen. David was taken aback by the sudden change of pace.

“Wow, (Y/N), are you okay? What happened?” Sitting by your side in the porch chair, his brows were furrowed, worried. 

“Nothing, sweetie. I’m just thinking about everything and feeling so happy about this trip and how much I don’t deserve you for being so amazing.” You were a terrible liar and he knew you pretty well.

“I appreciate the compliments, but I don’t like when you lie to me.” David caressed your thigh, comforting. “We don’t keep secrets, remember?”

“I’m going to be fine, I promise. I just need one moment.” You laughed and cleaned the tears again.

“(Y/N).” That was all he said.

You sighed, knowing you wouldn’t get out of this so easily. Deciding to comply, you read him all the youtube comments you had read. David tried to speak in between, but you stopped him until you went through all of it. His hands slid through his face in frustration.

“I’m so sorry you have to go through this, baby.” He held your hand. “You don’t deserve this kind of hate. This is all my fault. I should’ve kept our relationship to ourselves.”

“This is not your fault. I love our relationship and I love our dynamic and somehow you made me love being in the vlogs. You know I support you no matter what, but I feel like I’m facing a war and losing everyday. No matter what I do, I’ll never be Liza. They’ll never accept me for me. I’ll always live down to unreachable expectations because I’m not famous nor funny enough or pretty enough or skinny enough.”

“You know I don’t care about any of that, isn’t that enough?” David’s heart was shattered by watching you cry like that, seeing how much you were hurting.

You caressed his hand with your thumb and smiled to yourself, though still sad. “Dave, when you introduced me to your life, I had no idea what any of this meant. You taught me a lot about how your life works and I adapted, because I wanted this, us. It’s so hard to be used to the cameras, the need for content, the clickbait, but I did it because I love you. You’re always enough for me, but I know I feel like I’m not enough for you.”

“(Y/N), don’t say that…” His eyes were starting to tear up.

“No, it’s okay. I understand. This is a big part of your life, it’s your career. You’d never ask me to give up on my job or personal dreams, neither would I.” You took a deep breath. “But I try to be strong and… T-to try and ignore all the hate, but it’s just so many comments. Instagram, youtube, twitter. The good ones are so rare.”

David didn’t know what to say. Your tears were rolling down your face again. “I know I shouldn’t look at it, but it’s stronger than me. I just wanted them to give me one real chance, you know?”

“Come here.” He said, pulling you up for a tight hug. “I know this sucks and it’s hurting you and I hate it, because you’re amazing and you don’t deserve any of this.” He caressed your hair. “You wanna know what I love about you? Besides your butt, I mean.”

You looked up and chuckled lightly. David cleaned the tears away.

“I love that you always check me when I’m being an idiot. You always give me your honest opinion. You treat my friends like family. You stay up late with me when I’m editing even if you sleep by the couch with me, because you don’t want me to be alone.” David caressed your cheeks. “You have the prettiest smile and seeing it instantly makes me happy, no matter what. You motivate me and inspire me. I love how you cook for me and how you’re always talking with my mom, letting her know I’m being healthy. How much my parents and siblings love you.”

You sighed, happy. You gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

“I love how you make me think about having kids, because I often see how much of a great mom you’d be. I love planning with you, surprising you, thinking about our future together, because I know that if I wanted to drop this whole thing tomorrow, you’d be there for me.” David kissed you again. “You’ll never be Liza and I love you for it, because I don’t want you to be. I want you to be you, because that’s who I fell madly in love with.”

“Oh my God. I’m crying more now, stupid. Look what you did.” Chuckling softly, you hugged him tight again. He returned the hug.

“I’m sorry these haters keep hurting you, but I promise I’ll be here to kick their ass and assure you that you’re absolutely amazing, okay?” David pointed out.

You nodded, overwhelmed by how much you loved that boy. “I love you, stupid.” You smiled.

“I love you too, dumbass.” David smiled and kissed all over your face.

[vnshkk]

Let's talk about Kyo's media blackout.

It is with a slight reluctance that I post this. It's not wise to mention Tanuki online nor share what they talk about within the overseas fandom for a multiple of reasons. 

1. I don't want them to get angry at me

2. I don't want the overseas fandom to flip out and judge the Japanese fandom

3. I just want everyone to be chill and happy and flowers

But I've seen a lot of people freaking out, a lot of random theories floating around and people worrying so I wanted to post this theory and open it for discussion. 

Of course this isn't fact. It's pure speculation. But given the timeframe, PERSONALLY I feel like this may have had something to do with Kyo decision. 

So I post this with two DISCLAIMERs. 

1. As mentioned this is not in any way fact. There is no proof that Kyo does or doesn't look at Tank. I simply find it interesting the sequence of events, the timing of the media blackout and I am only translating this for those who are interested. I hope this doesn't cause any huge arguments or any bad blood. It's simple here to discuss and consider.

2. Please do not judge the whole fandom based on Tank. Just like any forum, any comment section on the world wide web; there will be people who leave negative feed back. It is a tiny portion of people and not a reflection of the Japanese fandom as a whole. Judging them based on what they said would be like someone looking at negative comments or sarcastic jokes on Tumblr and judging the English speaking fandom. That's not to say what they post is okay, but it's just dumb shit posting and shouldn't be taken to heart. 

you get me fam?

Okay, so I contemplated posting screenshots and translating what happened immediately after Kyo changed his profile picture up to when he deleted everything but as I said I don't want to be taken out by angry tank users so I'm just gonna translate a selection of posts. 

These posts are taken from the Meg thread (remember the girl linking arms with him at a concert? That's Meg.) which to be honest is a shit show. It was a thread born from those notorious pics and for over a year now has remained a place where people post rumours, shit talk, complain and just make shit up a lot of the time. So please, AGAIN, bare that in mind. It is a place of negativity born from a scandal that shocked a lot of the fandom. Aint nothing nice ever gonna be said there. Periodt. In reality a lot of the people who post there are still fans of Kyo. I think they're just still a little hurt by the way it came to light about Meg. 

After Kyo posted his new picture I checked tank before going to bed because I was curious about what their reactions would be and everyone had exploded. During the 7 hours I was asleep Kyo deleted everything and left the internet forever so tbh given the fact he was probably bored in a hotel in Fukuoka, just did a radio show, probs wanted to see peoples reaction, etc I personally, believe he was on Tank. This is a running theme in the thread itself and people often say he actively browses it (this is not a major thing, a lot of guys in bands browse tank same as celebs browse twitter. Why Kyo would look at the meg thread in particular? idk. ) 

SO TLDR 

Yesterday around 7pm the thread suddenly changed to mixed reactions after Kyo changed his Twitter pic. 

"His new twitter icon had me shook lol" 

"I hope he changes his instagram one too" 

"Idk I don't like how quickly he's become some kind of social media old fogey" 

"Kyo's turned into a social media monster too" (*edit; my bad Yuchi is beer monster, Shinya is social media monster lol)

"It's kinda cheap" 

"I get you, it's like he's lost his values" (probably because Kyo has always made big deal about how much of himself he shares) 

 It continued like that for a while with people more or less saying the same thing until he posts about leaving social media.

"He just suddenly said he's not gonna do social media anymore" 

"lol after he went to all the effort of changing his profile picture" 

"I'm shook" 

"annoying 40 year old nut job" 

"Bet you he came on here"  

"Do you normally change you icon then quit" 

"Join Kyo online" 

"idg why even though Kyo's had so many haters since he first started twitter he's suddenly affected by it??" 

"I still think he's cute even when he's sulking like this lol" 

"I knew he was looking at Tanuki"

"I don't get why he's suddenly deleting it after all this time?? It's like what is this old man on about?" 

"It's lame how he's making such a big deal of out saying he's quitting" 

(lots of people agreed with this post saying that he's acting childish)

"I wonder what happened? Like everything seemed fine recently. I mean we'll never know but like I'm sure he has a lot going on.." 

"I can't believe he basically wiped his instagram clean but left all the pics of cake and omurice lmao" 

"If only he'd go to sleep earlier and eat a banana the serotonin would fix everything" 

The random comments and mixed reactions continued for all of Friday.  One of the main points that stuck out after the initial reactions was how people began to become suspicious that this was merely a tactic to get people to join Kyo online with people claiming this was typical of business man kyo,  that it was about that time of year where they usually begin to advertise and promote in order to get new members. 

So, allow me to play devils advocate for a second. As someone who is a member of Kyo online I have to admit since he started posting more and more online (compared to hardly ever on Kyo online), the membership has become more or less invalid. In the past it was worth the money for the videos and pictures that as fans we rarely saw. But if he's going to post them online then it raises the question (tickets to concerts aside) is there any point in being a member if you can just get the content for free?  I'd imagine that this plays some kind of role in why the reactions are often negative. Members of Kyo online have suddenly gone from having something exclusive that was only for them, to simply being a part of something anyone can access. 

Another point someone brought up is that whilst it's acceptable for Kyo to be upset. It is very, very childish and the timing is selfish.  Sukekiyo literally made their instagram days ago and suddenly Kyo states how he isn't going to post online anymore. This act instantly casts a negative feel on Sukekiyo's insta. It almost gives a vibe that any picture Kyo is in might be "against his will". Kyo is not new to criticism. He's been in this game for 20 plus years. Everyone who is in the Indies scene knows about Tank. Every fan, every bandmen, knows it's a bad place filled with mostly shit posting and rumours and doesn't represent fans a whole. 

The meg thread is simply fans flogging a dead horse, posting any poor Japanese girl with a straight fringe and some tattoos, anyone who looks even a little like Meg and saying she MUST be a groupie of Kyo. Which begs the question why would Kyo go there? Why would he look at that? Why would he want to subject himself to that kind of thing and then punish the majority for some dumb comments a few bored fans made? What was he expecting by going there?

Of course there is no proof Kyo lurks. But the reality is he probably does, I mean he's only human, he' s bound to be curious about fans reactions for Madara, etc and where else to get honestly reactions than an anonymous forum? Personally, as someone who has lurked tank for a few years now, I think he reads it. There have been times in the past where he's mentioned certain things, done certain things and I've thought "hmmm that's weird tank was literally talking about that". But once again there's no proof. It's just one of those vibes you get sometimes. (one major one I can think of is during the interview for mode of gauze where he said everyone massively complained about it. I know people can submit questionnaires after lives but I feel that a lot of Japanese people are more brutally honest when they can hide behind anonymity. ) 

Considering the "staff" posted a pic of his feet on the sukekiyo instagram today, I feel like this is just Kyo being (sorry to say) butthurt and it might just blow over.  A lot of the comments mention his age, mention how he's clearly trying and failing to copy 20 year olds by using insta, that he's lame or cringe and that's gonna hurt anyones pride. But I honestly think Kyo should be looking at the billions of comments on instagram of people who love him rather than a few trolls online. 

So with that being said I hope this was an interesting read and gave a little insight into why Kyo is often private. It was a big deal that he was posting so much and actively using instagra. I for one was very happy. I believe that in this day and age it is something that is required in order to engage with your audience and keep a good relationship. Hazuki and Ruki are good examples of this and Ive been saying for the longest time I wish Kyo would get more on board with it. So it's a shame he's left at the first hurdle. 

Oh well. This is why we can't have anything nice isn't it. 

[zitronelove]

The World’s Best disrespected Dimash?

So people have been saying apparently Dimash was lied to and disrespected from the start on The World’s Best.

This comes from this video where the women say they were audience members and saw everything happen; obviously this can’t be 100% trusted as there’s no way to prove they were (unless you go back to previous episodes and look for them in the audience). So I’m taking what they claimed happened with a grain of salt but it seems to match with what Gia Noortas (the judge from Kazakhstan, more on that later) said. If what’s stated is true, then it brings several points to light: 

Dimash was lied to from the start. He asked if he’d be competing against children, because he doesn’t compete with kids, before signing on to the show and they told him no. Supposedly after Ru told him he “knew what he was getting into” he responded back with this point and the judges ignored it. Obviously this would be cut out.

He made his announcement to withdraw BEFORE performing. It’s said the judges berated him and saw it as a chance for drama instead of understanding the cultural differences and his decision.

The audience’s reactions were cut as well, while the judges ignored Dimash when he implied he was lied to in order to sign on, the audience was shocked and flabbergasted. 

Dimash performed a Kazakh song before All by Myself, but it was entirely cut. This would make sense as he was wearing his traditional shapan (I believe that’s what his robe is called) and it wouldn’t make sense for him to wear it if he JUST performed All by Myself.

It’s said that even though the judges chastised him, Dimash still maintained his composure and didn’t get angry or terriblely upset. And even after all of that, he still performed when, given the context, easily could have walked away after how the judges and show treated him.

Gia Noortas’s livestream and Daneliya Interview

Gia Noortas held a livestream where she answered some questions about the show and Dimash quitting. She stated that a ton was cut out from the episode (Her crying and defending Dimash and Dimash’s responses to the judges). She brings up their culture, saying adults NEVER compete with children in Kazakhstan. She also feels Dimash easily could have won as he “blew everyone away”. Not much was stated as compared to Patrice and Anita ‘s video, so I wish Gia went more into detail about what happened as her word would be more trustworthy.

In an interview-type video with Daneliya she said she had no idea Dimash was on the show and didn’t know until the day of the competition when they ran into each other backstage. If she didn’t know who was on the show and wasn’t even allowed to watch the others perform, then it can be inferred that Dimash and everyone else was under the same treatment. 

My opinion

If all of this is true, then I feel terrible for Dimash. The show lied to him from the start by disrespecting his wishes and culture in order to get him to sign on, cut his performances down and completely omitted his Kazakh singing, and when he announced his departure in a respectful manner he was berated and accused of disrespecting a show that had no respect for him since day 1. I’ve heard that this is the last time Dimash will be doing singing/talent competitions and it’s sad that this had to be his last but I don’t blame Dimash if the World’s Best left him with a sour taste. 

I’ve been following Dimash since around mid-2018 and from what I can tell, his decision to leave had nothing to do with ego. He’s been singing and training for 20 years and has already competed with singers far more popular than him. Back in Singer 2017, virtually no one knew who he was yet he came and conquered the show. Dimash very likely would have moved on to the finals had he not departed. His personality oozes humility and he comes off as a genuinely nice person with a genuine love for his fans and his country. So him quitting The World’s Best felt more like “I want to step down because it goes against my cultural values to compete against children and I want to help pave their ways for future success” rather than “I want to step down because I don’t want to lose to kids and hurt my ego” to me. 

As of now, Dimash has not made any statements regarding him quitting The World’s Best and what happened behind the scene. Since he’s already under way making preparations for his Astana concert in June, it’s likely we won’t be getting any statements, if any, until he’s finished with that.

[officialkmi]

My Top 5 Rappers

Okay, so, I love listening to rappers, and it’s not uncommon for my to bias a rapper in a KPop group (if I don’t bias the rapper, then they’re my bias wrecker). I feel like there’s a lot of emotion that can be put into a rap song, and I like when they rap about something other than sex or how much money they have or whatever. I’m a broke asexual, that doesn’t resonate with me.

Now, when reading this list, you’ll see there’s some overlap between the artists I like. I’ll compare their music, but only to show why I love it so much. I’ll talk about the videos, but only to talk about the style I enjoy seeing. You’ll also see that not all of the artists are Korean, and not all belong to a KPop group.

Without further ado- Here’s my Top 5 Rappers.

#5: NF

Okay, show of hands, who has heard of NF? I gave him the #5 entry because I haven’t heard a lot of his music, but I really like what I have heard. His songs are real, talking about mental illness and struggles. While the video I link is “When I Grow Up,” it was “Real” that inspired me to make this list. "Real” is from 2016, and the sound of it brought memories of RM’s earlier work (particularly, “Joke,” especially with the aesthetic of the music video in the “abandoned” location).

What’s really amazing about NF’s songs is that they’re something real and relatable. Its not just “hey look at me! I get all the girls and I’m rich!” Instead, it’s him rapping about mental illness, triggering topics, etc. With that, I want to warn readers that look into his music that some videos and songs can contain triggering topics, so proceed with caution.

#4: BANG YONGGUK

I am a very casual Yongguk fan. I never really got into B.A.P, but I love the solo work he’s released since leaving the group (not to say it’s good he left, but just to say I only started listening to him after).

While he’s released a video since “Hikikomori" came out, I have to say that I still favor “Hikikomori.” It’s a song that’s very honest about his experiences and what hes been through. It takes a lot for people to be able to be open about things like mental health and what they experience, especially when your every move is being watched by the public. Korea also isn’t known for their excellent viewpoint of mental health and mental illnesses (as we can see with the tragic lost of SHINee’s Jonghyun and BIGBANG’s T.O.P’s attempted suicide). Idols don’t have a lot of freedom to open up, and it’s really only in these past few years that I’ve noticed Koreal idols being more open with their experiences.

I think it is great that Yongguk was open about his stories, as it is something extremely personal. I feel like this is something listeners can relate to much better than a song about getting girls.

#3: Agust D

When it comes to Agust D, I love the speed, the lyrics, everything. I can easily say I still have his songs on my playlist years after their release. The self-titled track “Agust D” is probably one of my top three in his mixtape. I still remember the day it came out. I was on another website, watching as people posted updates and reactions to the MV. They were mostly freaking out over him cussing and flipping off the camera. I loved it. I had always kinda been interested in Suga, he had this dark air around him that made me want to know more, and I didn’t know a lot of people that biased him. This video really made me even more interested and his mixtape really helped highlight his abilities to fans that maybe hadn’t had a chance to look into it.

I still remember jokes online when J-Hope’s mixtape got added to Superstar BTS and fans were doing their best to succeed. They said that the day they add any Agust D songs is the day our thumbs fall off.

I love it. And I always will.

#2: Jackson Wang

I’m not gonna lie, all of Jackson’s solo work has been either a hit or a miss for me. I like his music genuinely, or I kinda laugh at the lyrics. I like that he’s stepping into a different style, in a sense. Most fans know him for his role in GOT7 as a rapper (with amazing arms and a cute smile). Many fans also know he is from Hong Kong. So, when I heard he first released a solo, I expected it to be in Chinese (like how EXO’s Yixing’s solos are) or Korean. I was pleasantly surprised each time he released a song to find out they’re in English, even though I knew he speaks English. I feel like, of all the languages, I just didn’t expect it.

That’s why he’s number two. He didn’t do something expected. I feel like he’s found a style he likes and is sticking to it, and I am 100% positive that the songs will get better in time, just as GOT7′s music grew over time. Unlike the other rappers on the list, he isn’t releasing songs in his native language or the language he’s been rapping in whenever he’s on concert. He’s doing something different, and I’d be shocked if it’s not a bit of a challenge for him. That’s admirable, and we like admirable.

#1: J-Hope

Throw stuff at me virtually all you want for including two BTS members, but I can’t help myself.

I honestly couldn’t decide which JHope song to link for this one. I love all of his solo songs, though I am partial to “Hangsang,” “Airplane,” “Boy Meets Evil” (that dancing, am I right?), “Daydream,” and “Mama.” I actually did a project in college where I wrote about how the lyrics of “Mama” related to the story we had read. Granted, I bullshitted the entire essay since I did not actually read the story. I just wanted to write about a JHope song.

While I support all of BTS’ members, J-Hope was actually one of the last two members I learned to identify and came to love. It breaks my heart, looking back. He stole my heart while watching him perform “Mama” live when I saw BTS during their Wings tour. Seeing his energy and how much he was enjoying himself, especially with the fans going “Hey mama!” with him...it warmed my heart.

A lot of rappers on this list have a dark aesthetic, especially with their music videos. Hoseok really switches things up, as he almost always seems to have a contagious smile on his face. While RM and Agust D’s (Suga’s) music videos for their first mix tapes were dark and gritty, Hoseok kept his bright and cheerful. That’s why he’s #1: he’s done something I have yet to see another idol do.

HONORABLE MENTION: HyunA

I 100% was going to make HyunA #2 instead of Jackson (sorry, Jackson) but...as far as I’m aware, she hasn’t released anything yet since leaving CUBE (because CUBE sucks and we support HyunA’s right to date). It’s expected, of course, since it hasn’t been long and it takes time to produce music and make music videos and all that. I want to support her fully once she’s releasing music at the new company, and as such prevented myself from listing her.

I will say, though, I love her style, her confidence, and her voice. She’s great because I feel like there’s nothing she can’t do.

[truelovevoltage]

SITS: Famous Singer On Break

“chizuru-yukimura-okita said: Hi still open the req? Can you do sits if mc famous too like actress or singer? If you do please do for ryo,takashi,iori and nagito Thanks”

“voltagelv said: Ohh then can I request a HC of SITS where MC is a huge pop star and both MC and The guys fall for each other. Thank you🙂 i hope you can answer my request😅 if not its okay🙂”

“Anonymous said: Hello can you do a SITS where mc is a singer on break and guys reaction?”

“Anonymous said: hello this is the anon who requested the SITS headcanon the guys reacting to mc being a singer on break the guys i would like you to do are Kyohei, Iori, Takashi and Kota sorry for not clarifying”

Requested: Yes

For: chizuru-yukimura-okita, voltagelv and Anon 

A/N: Since the requests are very similar to each other I’ve combined them. 

Prologue

You were just finishing up your tour and you couldn’t help but feel sad about it. Once the tour is over your management said that it would be good for you to take a break, after all, you’ve been working non-stop even before the tour started. There were television interviews, magazine interview, guest performances, album signing and a few meet and greets. Your manager applauds you for all the hard work that you’ve been doing. 

“Sorry Haruka, I’m sure by now you’re tired as hell as my manager. You’ve done a wonderful job organizing my schedule and I’m sorry if I’m overworking you.”

Haruka didn’t mind it after all she’s your manager. “Don’t worry about it Y/N knowing you? I know that you’re a workaholic and this break would benefit us.” You were very thankful for having Haruka as your manager, she was simply the best manager you could ever ask for. 

No one except the people from your management knew about your upcoming break after your tour but someone there was rumours going around about it. Your fans were shocked at first upon hearing this news but they were supportive and said that you deserve a break. They knew how hard you were working to keep your fan happy whether it’s a game show or television interviews. But since this rumour was out, there was another rumour saying that this is your last year with music and that you were never going back into the industry again. 

The rumours were getting out of hand and today, on your last day of the tour you were going to clear things up. In the middle of your performance, you took a breather and spoke to the fans. “As most of you guys know, I will be taking a break.” The stadium was filled with people saying “Aww.” And of course, there were chatters going around asking if you were coming back. “To clear things out, I will not leave the music industry yet. I’m just having a short break.” You smiled at the fans and they all cheered. 

After explaining to the fans you were about to sing another song of yours when the event organizer mentioned that you had a guest performance today. This caught you off guard because Haruka didn’t mention anyone to you today and when you looked over backstage she just gave you a shrug meaning that this was also news to her. “There has been a change of plans guys, we have some guest performers and this is not only a surprise to you but a surprise to me as well.” There were murmurs going around the stadium wondering who could your guest be. The event organizer whispered the name and you were shocked to know they were here. “Please let us welcome the one and only, Revance!” 

The cheers from the crowds were deafening, but you were happy to see your fans having fun. While Revance was performing you were changing into your new outfit. Haruka filled you in on what the event organizer told her after he revealed that the Revance was your guest for tonight. Haruka discussed with you that Revance will be singing one of your songs and that’s when you join the band. You nodded at the information you were getting. 

In just a few minutes the band welcomed you back in and started to sing your song. Singing along with the guys was a great experience for you and the fans, they were fun to be around with. Whether they were singing or playing an instrument the fans went wild whenever you were with him. In the fans eyes, they believe that the two of you were a match made in heaven and they were quite jealous of the fact that you two would be considered a power couple in the future. 

When the concert ended everyone backstage made a big cheer indicating that the concert was a success. “Thank you to everyone who made my tour successful, memorable and enjoyable whether it’d be the lighting crew, the sound crew, stage crew, makeup crew, costume crew, backstage crew, security crew or my manager. It’s going to be weird not seeing you guys almost every day after this but I’ll manage somehow.” The staff members smiled and you, some were even crying hoping that they were tears of joy. “I also want to thank Revance for performing today with me, I know you guys have a busy schedule and most likely went out of your way just to make time to come and perform with me.”

“Don’t mention it Y/N. We are honoured to be part of this moment with you.” He smiled and everyone agreed. Everyone shuffled away and you started to pack your things. Unknown to you that he followed you just to talk to you one-on-one. “Hey Y/N I know this might sound weird and totally out of the blue but, would you like to have coffee sometime? Maybe even movies, or dinner?” He started listing things and you could tell he was quite nervous. You gave a playful smile at him, “What’s this? The ever so great member of Revance is nervous about asking me out?” He just glared at you. “All right, there’s no need for you to glare at me like that. I’d love to hang out with you sometime, after all, I’m on a break.” You smiled at him and he smiled back.

Nagito Aoshima

“Nagi! Can you please slow down? There’s no need for you to run!”

You called out to the energetic dirty blonde member of Revance.

“Sorry Y/N! But there’s a lot of things we need to do today! At least before I get stuck inside recording, designing clothes and my schedule gets packed for our upcoming tour.” Nagito whined. He was never a fan of a busy schedule but even so, he does enjoy his job.

It’s really nice having Nagito spend time with you while you’re on your break. Honestly speaking if you haven’t met them at your concert, you would’ve stayed at home and possibly write more pieces of music for your come back tour.

Nonetheless, your entire break from music consisted of hanging out with Nagito, which doesn’t sound so bad. He’s a great guy to be around with, easy to talk to and you felt comfortable around him. It’s come to a point where you might’ve developed a small crush on the pop star. But you shared that feeling off because there was no way Nagito would like you back. If anything he’s just being a nice friend, right? Nothing more, and nothing less… At least that’s what you want to believe.

The day was ending and you frowned, Nagito didn’t let that slip past him. “Hey… What’s wrong?”

“Nothing really, I was just thinking how close we got after my break and I hope that I’m not bothering you on your days off. The last thing I want to do is cause trouble for you and Revance.”

“You’re not bothering me at all Y/N! I love hanging out with you! If I had a week break I’ll take you places in Japan but of course, I can’t do that so I’m happy with what we have right now. You’re special to me Y/N.” He rested his hand on your cheek and retreated right away. “Sorry.” He apologizes and saw a small blush on him. Could this bloom into a beautiful romance, or an everlasting friendship?

Ryo Chibana

Ryo loved your company and you liked being around Ryo as well. Often time he’d tell you how jealous he was that you’re on a break.

 “Really? But it’s so boring.” You whined.

He chuckled at your comment,  “Everyone needs a break eventually Y/N otherwise you’ll burn yourself out. I get it you’re a workaholic and you’re not the only one that I know that’s like that.” You can already tell which members he’s talking about. 

During your break, you learned a lot of things from Ryo and you were itching to write lyrics and compose a new song but you stopped yourself. He can tell that you were ready to jump back out in the music industry and perform. He loved how passionate you were and sometimes he wished that he had the same drive as you. 

“Speaking of, what’s the plan today Ryo?” You asked.

“Hmmm... I don’t know Y/N but I was assigned to write lyrics for our next album and....” He scratched the back of his head.  “Annnddd? Come on Ryo. Don’t leave me hanging here.” You crossed your arms. 

“And I was hoping you could look over it?”  Your face lit up and you were so glad that he asked you. You weren’t even sure why he did but you didn’t mind it. You were still a rookie compared to Ryo when it comes to writing lyrics and you felt honour that he was asking for your opinion. Ryo could only chuckle at your expression. You looked like a child ready to open a present during Christmas day. 

Iori Enjo

It was a beautiful day and Iori invited you to go to the countryside with him. Why? You had no clue. It was strange that he’d ask you out to go to the countryside but being away from the city sounded like a good idea. 

“You haven’t told me why we’re going to the countryside Iori.” You questioned him.

“Ah well... You see Y/N I wanted to buy a small house away from the city” He answered. That didn’t really explain anything but you just went along with it. 

When you both arrived at the destination your jaw dropped. “Really? This is your definition of a small house? It’s a mansion! Who the hell is going to live here?!?!” 

He found your reaction really funny and cute. “It is small if I do say so myself.” Iori shrugged his shoulders. “Come on, they’ll give us a tour around the house.” As the two of you walked around the mansion you were speechless. 

You couldn’t believe that he was planning to buy the mansion. He mentioned that the city sometimes feels like it’s suffocating him and he wanted a place where he can go and enjoy the quiet environment. Just as you were about to mention his vacation place he said that the two were different. 

Once he decided to buy the mansion, he took you to the theatre room and watched old movies. Even though the two of you walked around the house and talked about random things followed by a movie after his final decisions, you enjoyed spending the day with him. “Thanks, Iori!” 

“For what?” He raised his eyebrows at you. 

“For inviting me to your ‘small house’ and spending time with me on your day off when you could be doing something more exciting.” 

“Don’t mention it. I wouldn’t want to spend my day off any other way.” He smiled which made your heart flutter at his response. You quickly avoided his gaze and watched the rest of the movie and to avoid your blushing face. 

[curriebelle]

Critical Role and Queer Perspective

There’s a little Critical Role analysis I’ve been thinking about that probably won’t fit in my thesis, mostly because it’s too narrow in scope. I wanted to talk about it, though, because it’s been one of the most interesting transitions to watch in terms of how the show thinks about its queer characters.

I have no idea where I read the comment, because it was a very long time ago, but I also remember it vividly. A Critter explained that Gilmore’s scenes made them uncomfortable, because Gilmore fell into the trope that “Queer People Are Funny”. That’s the very 90s-sitcom-esque tradition of writing jokes where the punchline is that the character is A Gay. It’s a problem because it makes people not take queerness seriously - being gay is literally a joke. The first time I saw this comment was when the Whitestone Arc was first airing, but I’ve seen it repeated here and there throughout the run.

I don’t think that argument holds true anymore. Critical Role might not be perfect, but its attitude toward queer representation is not only above average, but also constantly improving. The show started with its singular gay character, Gilmore, who first showed up in Episode 14, and by the end of the series we have a non-binary emperor, two queer happily-ever-afters (Larry and Tary, and Kima and Allura), and multiple characters confirming queer sexualities. More importantly, these characters aren’t just token sexual minorities - they’re quite varied and interesting, and have stories that don’t revolve around their queerness, but don’t ignore their queerness either. The cast does make mistakes with these characters sometimes, but they are very eager to correct them when they do.

I think a really good point of contrast is when Scanlan drinks the love potion and falls briefly in love with Percy near the end of the campaign. That entire scene is utterly hilarious, but it’s no longer made hilarious by relying on the Queer People are Funny trope. It’s hilarious because Scanlan is over the top in his declarations (”your eyebrows...I want to lick them”), because Percy is constantly miffed that Vox Machina is shocked that someone finds him attractive, and because Vex is trying to manage the whole thing and failing not to threaten Scanlan’s life.

This is obviously a matter of opinion, but while the argument that Critical Role uses the Queer People Are Funny trope doesn’t hold true now, back when Episode 14 first aired it sort of was true. For future context, if you didn’t know, I’m queer myself and this episode didn’t bother me at all at the time. Still, I could certainly see how it would put other people off, and it does make me a little uncomfortable in hindsight.

In Episode 14 there are two big moments where the show wrings a joke out of people being queer. The first one is Gilmore’s introduction. The party prepares Vax to flirt with Gilmore for discounts, and they erupt into giggles when Gilmore comes swishing in, and any time Vax initiates flirtation or contact there’s more laughter. I think it’s important to compare this scenes with Vax’s first love scenes with Keyleth in Whitestone - which were notoriously awkward - because it becomes pretty clear after doing that that Vax flirting with Gilmore was A Joke. I don’t think it was meant to be mean-spirited - the players loved Gilmore and the fans did too, pretty much instantly - but there was something giggle-inducing about Matt and Liam trying to out-flirt each other.

The far more uncomfortable moment in Episode 14 is when Kima and Allura reunite. Matt describes them hugging and talking, and Orion - whose character Tiberius has a crush on Allura - starts grumbling that it’s “the story of his life”, implying that Kima and Allura are either together or interested in each other. This one is less “queer people are funny” and more “Orion gets weirdly pissed at his dungeon master for implying a women is attracted to another woman instead of him.” Matt’s initial reaction was to claim the two were ‘just good friends’. Orion’s reaction felt bizarrely possessive and objectifying - like he was upset that the character he’d ‘called dibs’ on, Allura, had the gall to flirt with someone else in front of him. Matt’s denial doesn’t strike me as a bad thing - he was more defending himself from Orion saying “Seriously, Matthew?” - but regardless, he eventually changed his mind on what kind of ‘good friends’ they were.

So we’ve got two early scenes that fall loosely into poor representations of queer characters - one turning gay men into jokes, and one objectifying queer women. In my mind these are more bruises than deep cuts, mistakes that make some people uncomfortable and that are worth pointing out, but that don’t condemn the creators or the show as hateful. It’s worth pointing out that the show does have queer players on it (at least one, possibly more), who didn’t find the scenes disturbing either. The most interesting thing about these moments, though, is how they triggered plotlines that continued throughout Critical Role - plotlines that actually transformed the show’s representation in a really neat way.

Let’s back up a moment. CritRoleStats has previously pointed out that Critical Role now comprises more content than The Simpsons. We’ve spent a lot of time with Vox Machina and their allies; as much time as The Simpsons has spent as an icon of popular culture. In fact, it’s pretty much only sitcoms that can rival Critical Role in terms of sheer runtime and content, but their formulas for churning out this content are very different. Sitcoms are purposefully written so that each episode starts with the status quo being disrupted and ends with the status quo being somewhat restored by the end, with a few lessons learned along the way. Think about i:; nearly forty years later, none of the Simpsons have aged a day. Other long-running shows (like Law and Order or Star Trek) can wring years and years of programming out of single-episode stories, each one forming their own unique adventure. Sometimes the characters grow between seasons a little, and some are killed off or leave the show, but the characters largely remain consistent so their adventures can continue in perpetuity.

Dungeons and Dragons campaigns, by their very design, have to progress. Characters gain experience, learn more about the world, explore it, make new friends, and develop relationships. Change is anathema to sitcoms, but integral to tabletop gameplay.

And alongside the players’ concerted efforts to get better at queer representation, I think this sense of progression was what changed how Critical Role thought about queer characters. The other key factor was that the players are both the writers and actors for their PCs. They know their motivations intimately, and they write their lines on the spot from what they feel like their character would do. And there is only so long that you can inhabit a character before you have to stop taking them as a joke.

I think the moment that drives this home hardest for me is still Vax ‘breaking up’ with Gilmore in Episode 38. He takes Gilmore aside in a tavern, says he’s enjoyed the flirting and that he’s ‘been curious’, but he can’t take it further because he’s in love with someone else. Gilmore is hurt, but gracious, and leaves the tavern. A brief pall hangs over the group after that, until the game moves on and the pain fades a little. Gilmore remained funny, and charming, and bombastic, and flashy, and lovable, but that was a moment he utterly stopped being a joke. His infatuation with Vax, or his love, or whatever you want to call it, was not funny anymore. It was heartbreaking in the way that only love can be, queer or otherwise. As painful as the scene was, it was a huge step in everyone’s ability to understand how to play queer characters. Vax was devastated that he had to break Gilmore’s heart, and Liam still identifies Vax’s biggest regret as “causing Gilmore any pain.” Moreover, Liam was more open and enthusiastic about Vax’s bisexuality as the campaign went on after that scene.

And after that scene, Gilmore disappears in the dragon attack. The group rescues him, and Matt reveals that he nearly died trying to save Uriel’s children. In the Chroma Conclave arc we learn he crafts his own spells, seen when he kills the assassin during the Rakshasa attack and when he helps create the Whitestone barrier. The party meets his parents in Ank’Harel, and learns he changed his name to help his business succeed. We learn during the fight with Thordak that he’s a runechild sorcerer, one of Matt’s homebrew classes. It was like something had snapped, and Gilmore suddenly unfolded into three full dimensions of characterization. Of course, the storyline had gotten more dark in general, but some characters - think Viktor or the mapmaker - remained jokes, no matter how dire their situations were. Not so with Gilmore. The events of the campaign, and the party’s investment in Gilmore’s well-being and their constant instinct to seek his advice or his help, allowed Matt to play him more and to get to know him better. We saw how he reacted to tragedy and pressure and the destruction of his livelihood. He became perhaps the most beloved and fleshed-out of all Matt’s NPCs, to the point where he - along with Cass and Kaylie - was Vecna’s chosen sacrifice to hurt Vox Machina the most.

Coincidentally, Kima went through the exact inverse of this development. In the Underdark, she rebuffed Grog and Scanlan’s advances (both of them hit on her quite a bit) and seemed much happier to be reunited with Allura. The joke that Kima and Allura were a thing began to seem, over time, like much less of a joke. Fans (bless Charlotte Sandmael, for one) helped persuade Matt into getting on that ship. At the same time, though, Matt wouldn’t have gotten them together for kicks or just to please shippers. Instead, he let Kima and Allura develop through the story of the Conclave’s return. The dragons from their past brought them back together again. We saw snippets of their guilt and panic and mutual support, and even of their relationship in less hectic times (”you didn’t have to wear the dress, Kima, it was just a suggestion-”). The storyline would likely have fleshed out Kima regardless, due to her history with the Conclave, but in getting to know both Kima and Allura better, I think Matt eventually saw what the fans were seeing, and he realized that the pair of them falling in love wasn’t really a joke after all.

So, Gilmore started as a beloved if somewhat stereotypical queer cameo, and he evolved into a well-rounded and absolutely adored queer character; and two characters that likely would have been well-rounded regardless naturally developed a queer relationship out of their storylines. I think that happened because Matt is, by all evidence, an extremely empathetic person, and as a dungeon master he strives to understand all the characters he creates inside and out. Look at how well he understands Sylas and Delilah’s relationship: they’re sympathetic and understandable, despite the fact that they’re also despicable. He gets deep, deep inside their heads. And when you get that deep inside the head of someone who is openly queer, you learn to write and play them in a wonderfully rich way; and when you get that deep inside the head of someone whose orientation you don’t know, you might find out that queerness is a part of their personality.

Which brings me, finally, to Tary. I think Tary is just about the pinnacle of this development arc across the story. Up until Tary, the only player character who had a really in-depth queer storyline to explore was Vax, which almost accidentally emerged from him treating Gilmore as a flirtatious comedic bit and then realizing, through roleplay, how strong and conflicted his feelings were. Interesting in its own right, but also more or less concluded as a storyline by Episode 57. By the time Tary shows up in Episode 85, though, Kima and Allura are together, Gilmore’s super well-explored as a character, and the non-binary J’mon has been introduced. Most of the other characters were sort of locked into female-male relationships at this point (or into Epic Single-ness, in the case of Grog Strongjaw), and regardless of their identities (bisexual Vex and Panlan Scanlan) they didn’t get as much time to explore the stories of their orientation as Vax did. So when Scanlan left and Sam had an opportunity to explore a new character, he ended up with Taryon Darrington, who was later established as gay.

The most excellent thing about Tary, besides literally everything else about Tary, is that I still don’t know if Sam knew he was gay from the beginning or if he figured it out along the way. I can’t remember what Sam has said about this, and in a way it almost doesn’t matter. Tary only had about fifteen episodes to explore who he was, and in that time he had a really compelling and honest series of fears and revelations about his sexuality. To me, Tary is pretty much the pinnacle of all the hard work Critical Role has done to try and understand and play queer characters more sensitively. As a character, Tary is far more than his queerness, but he also has chances to explore that queerness in a very real way - and he even gets a happy ending!

And yeah, some things about Tary were a joke - even some things about Gilmore and Kima and Allura are still jokes - but the other thing about love is that, along with being heartbreaking, it can be pretty hilarious. Kima gets grumpy about how perfect Allura’s hair is in the morning. Tary morosely dubs his lost love affair “Larry and Tary”. Gilmore teleports into a hallway where Vax is (for some reason) naked, and cheerfully asks if it’s his birthday.

I think the reason I’ve been so proud to watch all this development is that it doesn’t just explode that Queer People Are Funny joke from the inside, it actually fixes one of the most difficult things about it. Because queer people want representation that doesn’t make a joke out of their identities, it can sometimes be hard to write funny or happy stories about being queer, and that’s part of why we end up with endless numbers of queer tragedies. And that sucks, because queer characters seriously lack for happy endings. They don’t even get to have fun, in some universes. 

But being queer is fun. It’s fun and it’s funny. I loved the part where Kima was complaining to Allura about her dress. My first girlfriend was a wonderfully creative seamstress, and she and I used to cosplay together, so - let’s just say it brought back some nice memories. Critical Role remedied the problems that the Queer People are Funny trope created almost as a direct result of its format - as a result of spending so much time trying to understand those characters. Queer characters can be funny again, and they can be tragic, and they can be well-rounded and human. I think there’s a magnificent capacity for greater understanding here. It makes me very, very excited for the next campaign. If they came this far in round one, I really hope round two nets us a queer player character or three, and I can’t wait to meet them.

[twentyonepilots-imagines-etc]

Passed Out (pt. 2)

Tyler's POV:

What broke me from my thoughts was her eyelids fluttering. She was waking up.

Your POV:

You felt your eyes open slowly; they had basically been sealed shut when you... wait... what happened? Where were you? Before you did anything, you blindly assessed your surroundings; you could still hear the crowd cheering and screaming, but it was more distant, and they were chanting "come back out!" And "Tyler!" etc. Your hands moved slightly to feel what surface you were lying on. It was slippery and warm, but you guessed that was from your sweat.

You managed to peel your eyes open and you attempted to sit up and look around, but your head swam and you plopped right back down onto the damp mat that you apparently had been laying on for about 10 minutes now. You huffed in your defeat. You stared at a very high ceiling with bars crisscrossing all above, and lights hanging from some. You turned your head and saw a few bottles of water sitting on a table about 4-5 feet from your elevated mat, along with a walkie talkie, a backstage pass, and a piece of paper that you couldn't read from where you were.

You were bummed that you had passed out, and you had no idea how much of the concert you'd actually missed. You were eager to get back on your feet and maybe get back to the outskirts of the pit so you could listen to the Trees speech and gather as much confetti as you possibly could in your shirt. You assumed that one of the people from security had taken you out and taken you to paramedics outside the stadium. But that wouldn't explain how loud the crowd was and the beams high above your head.

You heard someone take a deep breath and then a strangely familiar voice following it. "H-how do you feel?"

You couldn't place his voice, and you knew it was too soon to try to get up and find out,  so you just laid there and closed your eyes "I'm not exactly sure yet," you said with a raspy voice. You laughed meekly at yourself; you sounded terrible. You mentally kicked yourself for not drinking more water. If you had, you probably would still be out there, enjoying the Trees finale.

You heard a light chuckle, and then shortly after, you felt a hand- no. The back of a hand- on your forehead. You unconsciously leaned into his touch. You wondered who it was, since you had recognized his voice a few moments before.

Your eyes were still closed at this point, so you tried to make this fun for yourself. You wanted to keep your eyes closed and try to guess who it is.

The hand moved to your cheek and you shivered. You couldn't take the mystery any longer, so you opened your eyes again and almost passed out again at what you saw.

You looked straight up into the warm dark brown eyes of your biggest influence and probably your favorite person in the world. You looked into the eyes of one of the most intelligent people you knew of, and certainly one of the most talented. The eyes of a man who had changed your life and so many others'.

What made your stomach flip was that Tyler was looking right back down into your eyes with the same look of awe and wonderment as was in yours. He looked at you as if you were the world famous musician who had won a Grammy. He looked at you as if you were the one who had saved hundreds of lives with his words alone. As if you were the one to be awed at.

You felt your cheeks flush when he noticed your shocked expression and gave a knowing smile in return. His smile faded though, and you saw his eyes travel up and down your face. You then noticed that he was leaning on his right arm, which was just to the left of your waist, so he was hovering over you. He quickly realized, though, that he was getting a little bit too intimate, especially since this was the first time you'd met. He stood straight up again and slowly took a small step back. He scratched the back of his neck, which was turning a deep shade of pink along with his face, while looking anywhere except for your eyes.

When he heard the volume of the audience growing, he turned his head to his right and looked back to the direction of the crowd, realizing that he had something kind of important to get back to; the concert that he'd abandoned. He turned back to you with a worried look on his face and took the small step he took back, back towards you again.

"Uh, so, do you know how you feel yet?" He asked worriedly. He finally met your eyes with his own, apparently having forgotten about the awkward moment before.

You smiled. "I think I'm doing pretty good, considering." You said, still laying down, with a light chuckle.

Just to impress him, you gathered all of your strength (which you were slowly gaining back) to sit up and swing one leg over the side of the table and the other bent beneath you, so that you were sitting up and facing him. Your vision blurred a bit during the process, making his face blurry, but you were surprised at yourself. You swayed unsteadily.

At first he looked concerned with your obvious weakness, but then he smiled his cute smile with crooked teeth that gave you butterflies. His smile was contagious, and you felt your own goofy grin spread across your face in happiness. "That's good. I'm glad you're doing better."

You just looked at each other for a moment that felt like forever, before he seemed to again realize that he'd abandoned a concert when his eyes widened and he turned his head slightly towards the stage again.

"Um, I uh, kinda have to go finish my concert," he said, pointing his thumb behind him, with a laugh in his voice. "But, I-I think they'll let you watch the rest from here. Uh, hold on for a sec." And he jogged in some direction that you assumed would bring him to the head of security or some other authority that had power over him.

You listened to the crowd as you waited. You heard many fans screaming at the top of their lungs awkward things, such as "I want to marry you, Tyler!", "Josh is my daddy!" and more. You found yourself giggling at some of the ridiculous things people were screaming to the boys in hopes of being noticed, and they weren't even around to hear it. But, then again, you'd probably be screaming the same things to them if you thought you would be noticed by your two biggest idols, maybe if even for a second, and even now, you were still star struck at the fact that Tyler Joseph noticed you, let alone had an entire conversation with you.

Before you knew it, Tyler came jogging back in with a backstage pass in hand, and a grin spread across his face. You were still relaying and comprehending what had happened within the past 15-20 minutes. You were half expecting to wake up and it be a dream, and in reality, you had never actually went to a twenty one pilots concert.

He huffed as he slowed to a stop in front of you. He panted for a second or two before speaking to you. He exhaled heavily.

"Okay. So I had to beg the guy before he finally handed these babies over to me." He said, holding up his fist which held the straps to the backstage passes. You felt your own face light up, his following when he saw the reaction you gave promptly after his small gift to you, as if his presence alone wasn't enough. You bounced lightly on your mat which was starting to dry after sweating.

He motioned you to him without urgency, so you took in a deep, deep breath, and you used your arms to push you up off the mat. It was the hardest thing you thought you'd ever done. You still hadn't eaten or drank anything since you passed out, so your body was only a little less weak, if not as weak, as it was before you passed out in the pit.

He gave you a little round of applause to your mini accomplishment that you'd made. You grinned and gave a silly curtsy. He laughed and you laughed with him. When the short moment or two of laughter faded, you looked up into his warm, dark brown eyes and saw the same look of joy that you felt in your own.

He maintained eye contact as he took a large but hesitant step towards you. Up close, you realized how short you were, especially compared to him. His eyes were wide and his face was serious. He reached his hands out to yours without looking away, and he clutched your hands tightly.

He then raised his left hand hand to your cheek and rubbed his thumb on your cheekbone back and forth. Electricity followed his thumb beneath the surface of your skin.

Then, it all happened at once. His other hand followed, but it didn't merely stroke your cheek. He gripped the sides of your face lightly, and he pulled his face to yours. His lips, that sang every line that ever convinced you to keep fighting, collided with your own. His hands, that played the melodies to the songs that you held so close to your heart, entwined into your hair and onto the nape of your neck. And yours traveled from his hair to his cheeks to his neck and back. The power and heat of the kiss grew, and you began to get butterflies.

You weren't kissing back because he was a celebrity, or even because he was your idol. In the 10-20 minutes that you'd known him personally, you'd developed genuine feelings for him. And you felt like he had feelings for you too.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the kiss gradually became more gentle, and he broke it when he rested his forehead on yours, his hands still cradling your face. You both breathed heavily for a few seconds before he pulled away.

When you looked up at his face, he was blushing; like a lot. He also had a dimpled smile spread across his face. He laughed as he once again, gestured towards the stage, where he still had to continue a previous commitment. You laughed.

"Oh yeah," he said. He bent over to pick up the backstage passes that he dropped when he kissed you, and approached you. He handed you the pass on the end of a cloth strap, and you slipped it over your head and around your neck so you didn't lose it. You smiled at him and gave him a thumbs up.

He grinned at you, and gave you a quick peck on the cheek. "I'll see you after the show," he said, and ran towards the direction of the stage. You knew he made an appearance on the stage when the various audience noises went from confused murmuring to fan girl screams.

When he spoke into the microphone, you could hear the smile in his voice that he had when he ran off. This alone made you smile, and your hand came up to your face where he kissed you, not even 3 minutes before.

It turns out that passing out was the best thing that could've ever happened to you.

End

~~~~

Hey everyone. I'm sorry it took so long to update this chapter. As you can see, it's really long, but I wanted it to be as good as I could make it. I really, really hope you liked it. If not, it would really help me if you left me a comment on what I could do to fix it.

Please comment, share, like, repost, or just keep reading! I appreciate all ❤️

Thank you all so much, have a miraculous Monday!

Word Count: 2058

[bangtanbxxch]

Hi please can you do a BTS reaction to their GF being the first italian kpop Idol? :)

BTS Reaction // Their GF Is The First Italian Kpop Idol

Hope you enjoy love! Gifs not mine// Credit To Owners

Seokjin:

Seokjin couldn’t be any more excited, your debut would air on a Korean award show. It was going to be very hard to impress everyone there. Of course, you knew that once you were chosen to debut in your girl group you would have very high expectations asked of you. That day you were so nervous, you couldn’t stop shaking, of course Jin noticed and tried his best to comfort you. His warm hugs and love-filled kisses made you feel safe but that anxiety in the back of your mind kept telling you, you would mess up somehow. 

“Jagiya, stop shaking, it’s going to be all right. I messed up during my debut too and look where I am now.”

“Well that’s because you’re actually Korean and worldwide handsome.”

Yoongi: 

Yoongi is the quiet supporter, so it was weird when he watched you with a full on gummy smile, waving the Italian flag, and shouting your name in the crowd as you danced your heart out. Your part was coming up, and Yoongi himself didn’t know which line you were in, the rap or vocal. So when you showed everyone your amazing singing skills he was totally in love with you even more. After the show, you were exhausted from the adrenaline rush. He came up to you with an impressed expression and gave you a lazy kiss.

“Stop being so talented” He said while giving you a small bouquet of flowers.

“If I did I wouldn’t be up there.” you responded sarcastically.

Hoseok:

Hobi would be all cute and supportive about it. A few months would pass and you would still hear him whisper to himself that he cant believe you were the first Italian kpop idol. It made you giggle and love him so much more every time. He was happy for you and you felt it. He would always take you to the dance studio and dance with you, teach you new moves, and maybe some dirty extracurricular activities. He would also love hearing you sing to him in your mother language, he thought it was so cool that you could speak multiple languages, Italian, English and Korean.

“Baby, can you sing in italian again, it sounds so beautiful”

“Hobi I just did in the kitchen, you want me to sing again?”

Namjoon:

Namjoon would be so cocky to other boys for having such a beautiful and unique girlfriend. It’s been a year since you debuted in the girl group and so far everyone has been talking about you. Your name was in everybody’s mouth, in good and in bad ways. After the success of BTS, everyone doubted that your group would be up to the standard, and of course you and your bandmates were working hard and it’s paying off. You were going to release a collaboration song you did with your very own boyfriend featuring a part where you rapped in Italian, and to Namjoon that was the sexiest thing ever.

“Kitten I don’t think the fans are ready for you. You’re to sexy in this song.”

“I’m just worried the italian is going to turn people off.”

“Why worry when it turns me on baby girl?”

Jimin:

Jimin couldn’t control himself, he was more hyper than you were. He absolutely loved you, and he couldn’t believe you were just going to break K-pop history with your very own solo debut. Big Hit wanted you to debut solo since Bang Shi Hyuk thought that it would bring out your individuality and talent even more. It would shock everybody that you were Italian and not Korean. It wold cause people to be interested because you were different, something refreshing and new. And, if you debuted in a group full of Korean girls, it would always be hard for you being compared to the other girls and your talent wouldn’t be shown as much. So after you had rocked the stage with your rapping and sexy dance moves a blushing and turned on Jimin ran to you.

“That was amazing! You are so talented, you dance so well, you rap so well, I’m so proud to have you as my girlfriend”

“Thank you, but why do you have a hard on Jiminie?”

Taehyung:

Tae was like a support puppy. Handing you water, fixing your clothes if it had a wrinkle, giving you tips on how to not have a shaky voice, even follow you around like your manager. Today was your first show in front of a large crowd. Netizens would be there, interested new fans, critics, and even Bang Shi Hyuk. It took alot of work to pass the auditions and become a trainee so when he told you that you were going to debut in a girl group you wanted to impress and show him what you can do and that you don’t have to be Korean to be an idol. Of course, Taehyung was ecstatic for you but was also worried on what people would say.

“Taehyung stop worrying, in the end I don’t care, I just want to sing”

“Jagi, I know it’s just that the public can be harsh sometimes.”

Jungkook:

Jungkook would be similar to RM and Hoseok. He would brag about you all the time after your successful and history breaking debut. On interviews, concerts, and on social media he would always say how he loves to have you by his side and that he looks up to you for being fearless and pursuing your dream even if it was going to be hard. He helped make the public love you and so did your hard work. He would always want to hear you sing and would try to learn the Italian culture to impress you. He would try to watch you in every concert and public appearance even if he had a busy schedule.

“Look at my girlfriend, gah she’s so beautiful. Look at her pretty eyes, and her personality, ugh she’s just so impressive” 

You smiled as you saw his tweet, attached with a recent picture of you at a concert performing for your fans. 

lmao i’ve been typing this for so long my shoulders hurt oof, sorry if it’s bad boo, it’s Christmas and all I can think about is seeing my mom’s reaction when she opens her present.

 Bba Bba

-Lara

[apvxoxo]

The Proper kidnapping. pt. 1 (kinda)

Ah, alright. So the only reason I ever had any inspiration to write this was because of @firethatgrewsolow, so I just wanted to thank you for all your hard work on the fics, we love them so much. But I wrote this all in good fun and if anyone enjoys it I do have the second part but you know I kinda want to see what kind of reaction this will get :) ANNOYING I KNOW BUT: just disclaimers- its veryyyy loosely based, its just made up shit (i hope that doesn’t offend anyone because I know people like accuracy with references but yeah.) there was no real time or date when this is set I figured that’s more fun to leave up to the readers imagination :) Also if you have any suggestions on how I could improve please tell me, because I really would like an outsiders opinion on it (go easy im new at this lol) BUT YES I hope this is fun to read in the least enjoy!

I stood front row. Front fucking row, it wasn’t a dream I was here. it was dark and humid everyone was yelling, people were pushing and shoving me in excitement. It was everything I wanted a led zeppelin concert to be. I knew every song I memorized every line and moan Robert sang. My only wish was that he would make eye contact with me, just once. I remember reading an interview in creem magazine about him that he said, “some nights I could fuck the whole front row..” That always stuck with me. Especially because I was there. “hey don’t I know you form some where?” a dirty man who smelled like pot barked at me, and no he did not know me from somewhere. But I paid him no  mind. My mind was in another universe, another galaxy. It was the loudest it had been all night until a flash of red light. Everything went silent and smoke exploded from Johns drums, Robert appeared through the hazy cloud holding the microphone and nodding his head, moving his hips along with the chords.. They started with heartbreaker. It sounded so dirty and heavy live I couldn’t believe it. Jimmy made his way toward the front of the stage kicking his leg up in that little dance he does. Then Robert, oh Robert his jeans looked particularly low and tight tonight. I stood corner to the stage, so when he started working his way into the middle I feared he wouldn’t ever come over to my side. He hit every note, improvising as they went. A normal 6 minute song went on for 30 minutes. It was magical. They took a 15 minute break to go back stage, something with the amps was going wrong, Robert blew the crowd a kiss with both hands and said “don’t worry now, we’ll be back. You can blame Mr. Page for the intermission” Jimmy smiled  shrugging his shoulders and then yelled something at Robert. They laughed, still cant make out what It was he said. The crowd cried out for a second until becoming boisterous again. The same dirtbag made his way over to me, he handed me a joint stuttering “hey take a hit of this and ill trade seats with you”  "where are you even sitting? If its not better than my seat than fuck off" “naw naw right over there” he pointed up at the ceiling. What a moron. I followed his finger as he pointed up and told him, “you just go back to your uh, seat alright?” “ alright your loss man ill be coolin and you can be droolinnnn” he dragged out his sentence and stumbled away. I fluffed my fingers through my hair one more time before they were going to come out. I was still set on that one on one moment with the golden god. Jonsey and Jimmy ran back on stage getting into position, the lights were barley on but you could still see them, then Robert picked up the mic and said “are you ready now, were back! and we wont leave until you’ve all had enough, how does that sound?” the crowd cheered and yelled. I could hear the girls behind me yelling “fuck me Robert Robert!!” I couldn’t believe how bold they were. I mean sure I wanted nothing more than to be with him, but show a little subtlety. Robert looked back at John and said" ready?“ they began to play and it was so much louder. Which I didn’t think could be all possible. I guess the amp really did make a difference. They moved into since I’ve been loving you, and I thought for sure, this is my chance. It was such a slow sensual song I figured this was prime time to get my eye contact with Robert. But alas, he stayed right in the middle of the stage Where I could only see his side profile towering over me. I began looking around to see if I could push in with someone closer to the center. I was determined. Then I saw the pot head guy from earlier, standing right dab in the middle! What a joke, he did have a good seat. I started pushing through the crowd to him, people shoved and pinched at me "sit down you asshole, we cant see” I just kept going. I was not leaving tonight without looking into those stormy blue eyes. Finally I made my way over to the guy, I fell down onto the steps right on my arm, “ah fuck” I squealed. He grabbed my arm and pulled me up, “hey you made it, you still want a hit?” “you said your seat was in the ceiling, what the fuck?” I said. I couldn’t tell if he was high, stupid, or both. “ yeah man I  pointed to the sky, when zeppelin plays its like your on clouds” I laughed looking up at the ceiling, “ hey your alright, sorry I was mean to you earlier I thought you were just some idiot” . He was a nice guy, with an even nicer spot that I was going to take. I pointed at the floor where he was standing. The unsaid rule of, move over type of thing. He opened his arms inviting me over “thankyou you’ve made my night” he just smiled and shut his eyes. Now, finally he stood in front of my very eyes. I could see it all, every curve muscle and shape of Robert, I swear I could see the blood moving through his veins.He started getting more intense and raspy with his voice, he stepped closer to the edge of the stage, I put my hand out in front of me to see if I could touch him. Crazy I know, but there is this unexplainable feeling that takes over you as your that close to a god. My hand brushed against the leg of his pants. I looked up to see if he could feel it. He didn’t seem to notice so I did it once more, this time I felt his calf. Then he stood still, right in front of me. Shook his hair back, exhaled and looked down. His eyes were shut, I studied him in awe. The lights dimmed and one focused subtlety on him, then he snapped his eyes open, my hand was still near the stage. Idiot, he looked at my hand and followed it back into my eyes. He at me with such intensity, I felt my legs shake. Even though the music was still loud it felt quiet, it felt like we were the only two people in the world. He was looking at me. He smirked and stepped back puckering his lips. Once he broke eye contact I stumbled almost completely falling over in my spot. My new friend grabbed me helping me stand,“woah you okay man, I know id fall over if Robert looked at me like that” “yeah yeah ill be fine thanks” was i fine? I was more than fine. Over the moon. He looked into my soul with his pool of blue eyes and I still couldn’t believe it. The show went on for another 2 hours and each second was bliss. He glared at me a few more times but nothing like that one time. Nothing could compare to that, nothing. When they finally ended Robert did his usual blowing a big open kiss to the crowd bowing down “Good night San Fran Cisco! ” They walked off stage slapping and shoving one another playfully, they knew they had just put on an amazing show. My friend made his way over to what I thought was the exit, “hey come on with me I heard you can see their dressing rooms from there” I was in no position to turn down seeing Robert undressed so, I followed. I grabbed his hand as he lead me through a dark hallway, there was band equipment and wires everywhere. “you sure you know where your going?” “yeah man for sure. I’ve seen the stones here before I know my way around” We finally made our way to a dimly lit room that had drinks on marble tables and mirrors lining the walls, “we are not supposed to be back here.  I thought you knew your way around? Where are you taking me” He put both his hands on either of my shoulders, “just relax man we are on our way to the stair way” “the stairway?! your blasted! get off me, lets go were gonna get in trouble!” We heard the door open from behind us, and heard a loud voice “and if i see one more fucking bootlegger, ill have their leg” it was the band manager, the ever terrifying Peter Grant. We hid behind the mirror propped against the wall,my heart has never raced so fast.“ what are we going to do” “just keep calm don’t talk” he put is fingers up to his mouth. Then I heard jimmy “where the bloody hell is my..ah there you are” he said picking up his jack daniels. He kissed the bottle and they made their way out. We scurried out from the mirror and ran to the door , “come on this way” We ran into doors, and tripped over cords, until we eventually ran into.. Peter Grant “what the fuck have we got ‘ere a bunch of fans or bootleggers?” I just stared at this massive man in shock, "well which is it?” The band started to crowd up behind him, Jimmy was rubbing his eyes and smiling, a sort of  awe how cute smile. John and Jonsey just laughed it seemed the only one truly mad was, Peter. Really it was innocent I suppose. Sure I was trying to see Robert naked but who isn’t! Then Robert came up behind Peter putting his hand on his shoulders,“ have you seen my..” he stopped to look at us. I looked right into his eyes, god I couldn’t believe how close we were. He smiled after scoping us both out and looked back to Peter who was still furious. “well go on answer so I can figure what to do with you two. I could 'ave you arrested you know” he reached out to grab my arm when Robert spoke up “no no shes uh, shes with me. Love I told you not to go the back way! you should have came right back stage to my dressing room” he looked down at me and winked putting his arms around my shoulders. Peter looked at Robert and shook his head, “well fuck lets get on then, the jet is leaving”. All the boys were still excited and rambunctious from the show. Robert spun me around, arms still wrapped around me. He waited for everyone to walk a bit ahead until he lead the way, what was I doing. “ Now now, just a minute.You’re the one from the front row aren’t you little one?” he remembered me ??  "Me? the one you looked at, um yeah that was me I’m surprised you remember I mean.. I bet you look at all the girls that way"  He looked ahead and smiled, “well, I don’t look at them all and remember them they way I did with you my love.” What. Was. Happening. We finally made our way to the steps entering the jet. It was larger than I had seen in magazines and on T.V, before. Just as I stepped on,reality sunk in. I’m going on the Starship with Led Zeppelin and what was even crazier was how normal it felt. Why did Robert protect me? He must have other groupies that he could bring with him. Why just some girl from the crowd? He grabbed my hand leading me in front of him up the stairs, “are you sure ?” I said looking at him wearily.  He slowly shook his head ,“but of course, if I hadn’t of wanted you aboard  then I would have let Peter rip you in two”. I smiled and walked up the steps. Robert followed and kept hold of my hand. He had this weird comforting nature about him, making me feel safe. Like no one could touch me. Before I even entered the doorway I could hear the yelling and laughing, John Paul Jones had went on the organ playing some song I had never heard before, Jimmy sat by the window with his arms around what I think was groupie. She had big brown eyes and looked younger than any of the other ones I had ever seen before. Although I hadn’t seen many, so what were they supposed to look like. I looked back at Robert once more to lead the way. All the girls on the plane were yelling and ran up to him as he entered, “Robert so nice of you to finally join us, what’s your drink?” said one of them. She was definitely more of the assistant type then the sleep with the boys type. “none for me yet anyway, I’ve got to get settled in.” he pointed ahead to the room straight down the hall. “the one all the way on the end?” he raised both eyebrows and smirked, “that’s the one, big bed huh” BIG BED?! IS THAT WHAT HE JUST SAID. My heart fluttered, I held his hand tighter and walked straight down to the room. It was only lit by a small light in the corner. The decor was dark yellow and green. The carpet felt soft and expensive. He threw down the bag he was holding on the bed and flopped onto it. “ahh its been a long night, long long night.” he really focused on the word long. He spread his legs further apart and stretched his arms over his head, I just stood there in awe. His muscles contracted on his arms and his chest lowered when he inhaled. “this room is beautiful Robert, I really like the.. uh the carpet” I was trying to distract from my obvious discomfort  of his presence. But saying something stupid wasn’t exactly the best distraction. He laughed while sitting up, “your a nervous thing aren’t you? tell me whats your name nervous girl” tell him your god damn name. “its Paige like you know a page in a book, but with an I right after the a” when would I learn to keep my mouth shut. “Paige what an innocent name. My lovely innocent girl.” He stood up and put his hand on my cheek while his other lightly grasped my waist. “just a little innocent girl, tell me why were you backstage innocent angle” because I wanted to see you naked. “ well actually I was looking for my friend he was the one trying to get backstage and I didn’t want him to get in any trouble. Really a big misunderstanding. I would never sneak back stage at one of your shows, I respect you guys too much” I scrunched my face putting my hand up at my forehead. I was a nervous wreck blurting out nonsense. He laughed again louder grabbing at my waist with both hands, “well what a lucky misunderstanding,” “lucky? how so?” “well if you hadn’t snuck backstage I would have been thinking  of the girl in the crowd all night”. He really did feel it too. The same shock wave I felt when I looked deep into his eyes. “and you grabbed at my leg didn’t you? Ill tell you I was afraid I was going to trip off the stage! you nearly ruined the show” he actually felt that..shit. “I didn’t mean to..i just you were so close to me. I almost didn’t believe it so I thought If I could just..”  If you could just touch me, you would know it was real" How did he.. “yes! Exactly! how did you know?” “well because, that’s precisely what I’m doing right now” he grabbed harder at my sides trailing down to my bottom. He slightly lifted my skirt with his hands and leaned into me. He pressed his lips into mine with such a delicate force. It felt so natural. I kissed him back and put my hand behind his neck into his hair. I opened my eyes to see my hand touching his golden locks, I wanted that as a mental picture for ever. Then he opened his eyes and pulled away laughing. Was I that funny ? “you are a funny one aren’t you?” he pinched at my cheek, “I love a good laugh I’m going to keep you around for a while Paige” a while? how longs awhile. All this time I thought he throws girls away after each night. Would he keep me for a few nights? Spend time with me during the day? “well funny girl, how about a drink?” I nodded eagerly. We walked out into the central area and made our way over to the bar, the same women was handing out drinks and looked at me and Robert and smiled, “ready for a drink now love birds?” Robert looked down at me and smiled, “yeah you know we are, give me my usual. And for the beautiful Paige?” I had never had an ounce of alcohol in my life. To be quite honest I thought it smelled bad, so what is my drink. “I’ll have whatever Roberts having.” she looked at me with wide eyes and laughed, “you’re a little thing how much does it take to get you drunk sweetie?” as if I had any sort of clue. Robert even looked down at me laughing, “you sure you can take it Paige? I don’t mess around” “I can take it, I’m cool” they bursted out laughing. Were they laughing at me or with me? With my awkward charm, it was most likely at me. Robert shook his head and kissed my cheek, he whispered in my ear “don’t be so nervous they wont bite” I just nodded and straightened my back. She handed Robert the drinks and he signaled with his head to the seats in the most secluded area. We finally sat down, but a flow of girls rushed over “Robert you were incredible tonight really, I was absolutely moved.” I couldn’t believe how close they were getting to him. Rubbing his legs and chest. He raised both his arms in the air still holding the drinks, “girls could you lay off me please. Your here for Mr. Page over there” Jimmy still sat with the same girl from earlier. “he’s busy with some baby groupie, and besides we know how to take care of you..” take care of you? God I could feel my face turn red and eyes tear. don’t you fucking cry. The girls were all tall with long legs and big boobs, probably more suited for Robert anyway. “for chrissake I’m with someone important right now, would you bloody piss off!” I’d never heard him angry, well I’d never really heard him anything before tonight. But this was pure anger. The girls shot their eyes at me and looked me up and down,“fine have fun with your little virgin, hell if she knows what to do with it” My face flushed again. My eyes filling up with tears. I quickly wiped my eyes and Robert looked at me “ I’m so sorry Paige their like vultures really, I cant stand when..” he notice me wiping away tears. “oh no my love, don’t let them get to you. Their simply jealous. I promise. I want to be here with you right now, that’s why I saved you.” I felt much more comfortable after hearing that , “can I be honest Robert” “why of course my love, anything,” He wants to be here with me right, so I should be as honest as possible. “I don’t drink. I don’t even like alcohol. I just took it to seem mature. I’m afraid I really don’t fit in with the girls here.” I feared for his reaction. It’s not easy to fake confidence around Robert Plant “But Paige my dear, that’s the reason I like you so much. You’re different from them. Do you think I like being with a girl who knows exactly what she is doing all the time? I like how unsure you are. Its refreshing” he enjoyed being with me? I let that sink in before I said anything else. “you musnt worry my dear I wont let them bother you again.” I nodded and fixed my eyes,“you shouldn’t wear any makeup at all Paige your eyes are too beautiful to hide behind it.” He pushed the hair out of my face and held my cheeks, “that’s what everyone says” "Well their right you know? Now, enough tears come here so I can hold you.” he patted his lap motioning me over. I stood up and sat down my back facing him. Putting my hands on his thighs, they were so thick and lean. He put his hands at my hips and started pulling at me, “spin around so I can look at you love,” I lifted my legs and spun around, I straddled him and put my hands at his shoulders. “now that’s better, you do have a lovely back but id much rather be looking at the front of you.” I laughed and ran my hands down onto his chest. I was taking as many mental pictures as I feasibly could. His broad chest encased with hair, he was slightly tanned. The Golden God. He wasrubbing at my hips and bottom as he pulled me closer. I could feel how hard he was. My hands had made their way down to his abdomen. Oh my god he felt so statuesque and trim. Still slightly sweaty from the concert. “how about a lap dance Paigey girl” I stopped rubbing at him and smirked, now this I knew how to do. Id given lap dances before and haven’t had any complaints. I pushed my hair behind my shoulders and arched my back before standing up. He re-positioned himself spreading his legs and putting his hands behind his head. I turned around back facing him and bent over, I made sure my dress lifted. He put his hand on my back guiding me into him. I grinded painfully slow and rubbed both of his thighs moving progressively closer into the center with each stroke. I stood up so I could lower my top, he looked at me intently and rubbed at his chest. “now don’t make me suffer, finish the dance baby” I flipped my hair once more and straddled him, facing forward. I put my arm onto his shoulders and began grinding again. My other hand on his thigh. He grabbed my hips pulling me hard into him. He looked down between the space between us and let out a breathy moan, “ahh you feel so good” Enough to make me loose it, god don’t make me lose it. He pulled me in and kissed at my neck and chest. I wrapped my hands in his hair once more, He stopped to look up at me, “would you like to wait for me in the bedroom or can I have you right here?”  I felt my heart flutter, “the bedroom sounds lovely Robert”

[nananaptime]

Green-eyed monster

Request: Reader surprise coups at a fansign bc they haven’t met for a while (work) but other members keep calling for reader, getting reader’s attention totally forgetting about coups so he got jelly.

Killing my best friend some more <3

Masterlist Rules

(Source)

Requested

Genre: Flufufufufufufuf

Word count: 1 785

Summary: Even leaders can be insecure sometimes....

I was surrounded by sweaty bodies everywhere around me, some pushing, some experiencing the same agony that I did, especially in the natural warmth we were bathing in. many of the bodies around me were decorated in paint, they had either written their bias’ name or the whole group. Nonetheless, I was one of the few that didn’t even look like a fan. Not because I wasn’t one, because I was, but because I didn’t have to prove to these boys that I love them with paint, they already know it.

The feeling of dying was creeping in on me when the line finally started moving. They had taken their time with letting everyone in and were a little bit behind schedule but that didn’t surprise me. Either Seokmin or Soonyoung or maybe even Seungkwan were probably causing the delay by fooling around like they normally did. I felt everyone around me, including myself, take a breath of relief once we entered the venue where the fan meeting would be held. It was like walking into a cool breeze compared to the warmth of the outside.

None of the boys knew I was here, not even my brother Jihoon. They had just finished their Asian tour and was ending it with a fan meeting in the same place they started. The tour had lasted three months and I was kind of missing my annoying, hard-working brother. I also missed my boyfriend, whom I would be seeing today too, and it was my personal goal to surprise him the most. Everyone was now sitting down in the available seats and some, for example, me, had to do with sitting on the floor. After a couple of minutes of waiting, they finally emerged from the ends of the stage and took their spots. They were sitting down in order of age. So at one end, we had Chan and on the other, we had my lovable boyfriend, Seungcheol. After their original introduction, the fans were allowed to start lining up and get their things signed and turning their dreams into reality.

It was my intention to spend as much time as I could with them so I allowed everyone else take the places in front of me, causing me to be the last one in line. The boys were as happy and polite as ever, however the same could not be said for some of the fans. While most of the people here made it their mission to be nice and not cause any harm to the boys, some others didn’t exactly care for the fact that the members were human and not robots. The guards had to escort at least five fans for being either rude and way too biased or overall expecting too much and getting aggressive once those expectations weren’t reached. The annoyance bubbled up inside me as soon as the first girl overstepped the boundaries. Said fan had expected to have more time chatting with Hansol but when she was told to move on, the aggression displayed was directed at poor Seungkwan, who had been waiting patiently at Hansol’s left side. Throwing down the photocard she wanted signed on the table in front of him, the fan scoffed and glared at him, leaving Seungkwan thoroughly confused and incredibly hurt. This kind of behaviour could result in idols believing they’re not good enough for the industry and leave a scarring impact on said idol. It didn’t take long before the guards escorted the girl away and the fan meet progressed as if nothing had happened. Minghao leaned towards Seungkwan to check if he was okay. Seungkwan’s nod indicated that he was and he waved Minghao’s concern away as he turned his focus to another fan that now sat in front of him.

Within the next hour, there were numerous fans who either overstepped or were close to overstepping the boundaries and I noticed the members getting more and wearier. Joshua, who was sitting on the other end of the table, repeatedly rubbed his eyes while trying to stay awake and even though he was so out of it and tired he still put on a big smile and greeted the fans with cheerfulness. Finally, the boys started to appear closer than before and I knew that I didn’t have to wait for so long to greet my friends once again. As soon as I stepped into view of Chan he instantly saw me, I have never seen him so shocked before and he almost forgot about the fan in front of him. He quickly signed her stuff while making some small talk and when she continued down the line to Hansol, Chan discretely shoved his elbow into Hansol’s ribcage, successfully gaining his attention and gestured towards me. Hansol had the exact same reaction as the maknae but was faster in shifting his concentration towards the fan. I laughed at their reactions and followed the movement of the queue. After a couple of minutes, I stood in front of the maknae.

“Y/N!!! What are you doing here? You surprised me.” The smile didn’t leave his face for one second as he spoke to me.

“That was kind of the point.” He laughed at that and I handed him the photocard portraying him. He gave me a joking look but signed it nonetheless. “What? I need to seem like a fan in order to avoid exposure.”

“Wha, when did you become so smart?” Oh yeah, now that we’re supposed to look like only an idol and a fan I’m not allowed to jokingly hit him. He knew that so he poked out his tongue at me and shooed me along to Hansol who also had his iconic smile on his face.

“Coups hyung is going to die.” He said as he signed the photocard.”How did you…”

“Omg Y/N!?” That, ladies and gentlemen and other, was Boo Seungkwan freaking out and getting so shocked that he almost fell out of his chair. I laughed at him and realised that the surprise aspect of this whole thing now was ruined. I could feel the eyes of the other boys and I didn’t even have to look at them in order to realise that they were trying not to blow my cover even though that was too late by now. The fans knew that I was related to Jihoon but most of them didn’t know what I looked like and none of them knew that I was Seungcheol’s significant other.

“Hi, Boo Boo,” I said as I moved on to him. He stood up and gestured for me to come closer, indicating that he wanted a hug. With a smile coating my lips I leaned across the table and wrapped my arms around his upper back.

“I’ve missed you so much, I need someone who can handle all of this…” He gestured towards himself. “… and they can’t.” He pointed at the other guys. Talking with the three youngsters had taken a while so I was the only one left in the venue so the guys had the freedom of rising from their seats and embrace me in a group hug.

“Y/N-yah, only you would surprise us like this.” Mingyu.

“Why would you attack us with these feels, I can’t handle it.” Soonyoung.

“Could all of you disperse so I can catch up with the only family member I actually ever see?” The guys were quick to move since Jihoon had a guitar available and anything could happen, but when he emerged from behind them he was wearing a huge smile and hugged me like his life depended on it. With a small laugh, I returned the hug.

“Have you had a good tour?” He nodded and dived into a story about how the fans were so supportive and that the new song was a huge hit and other weird but not unusual things the boys had done. Between all the fits of laughter and hugs I realised that one of the boys were missing, the most important one.

“Hey, where’s Cheol?” At that question, the guys looked around for him and when they didn’t see him anywhere they shrugged their shoulders. Concern replaced the happy feeling within me so I excused myself in order to go look for him. I made my way towards the back of the room where the idols were able to get their makeup done and get ready for either fan meets or concerts. The guards recognised me instantly and let me in. The room was not the cleanest one, with makeup covering most areas and clothes lying scattered all over the floor you would think a rainbow tornado just made a visit. In the midst of all the chaos sat my one and only boyfriend on the couch. His concentration was on his phone where he was playing some sort of game. As I closed the door he looked up at me but looked down again just as fast. What was that about? Quietly I sat down beside him and waited for him to talk which, eventually, he did.

“Why are you not out there having fun with everyone else?” He still didn’t look at me.

“Because I wanted to be with you but you weren’t there so I looked for you.” He scoffed at that and still kept his gaze on the device in his hands.

“You didn’t seem to be that interested in me when I actually was present.” That’s when I realised what was going on. He was jealous.

“I’m sorry, everyone got so excited and everything happened at the same time, it was kind of hard to get to you.” He glanced at me but he still didn’t budge with the jealous attitude. I shuffled closer and wrapped my arms around him while laying my head on his shoulder.

“You know I love you right? You and only you. Nothing will change that.” My words forced a smile to erupt on his face and he couldn’t stop himself from giggling at what I said. I smiled as I knew he was convinced. He shifted himself and wrapped his arms around my torso, making me lift my head from his shoulder and meet his gaze.

“I know and I’m sorry I get so easily jealous, I can’t help it, it feels like they’ll take you away from me.”

“That will never happen.”

“I know.” A small smile appeared and he pecked my lips. “And I love you too.”

We didn’t leave that room for almost two hours and we were not disturbed. How? You may wonder.

Well.

The guard was nice enough to lock the door.

[enstarsrequests-blog]

I just realized that you don't have too many HC requests! NEVER FEAR I (that 18 yr old Anon) AM HERE FOR YOU!! So, what do you think about Knights+Fine reacting to an s/o who transferred from an Idol Girl school? Like, she was an idol but she decided producing was more her thing (but she's Quite™ a popular idol too).

Ahhh thank you! I admit I don’t get as many headcanon requests as I do other things. I do have a few in my inbox though, but not many up because of my…. very slow pace…. im sorry….

I NEARLY HAD A HEART ATTACK!! IVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR A WHILE, AND WHEN I WENT TO COPY IT, I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE WHOLE THING ,,, luckily i learned how to undo…. that doesn’t really matter to the request, but there’s a little story for you i guess ?

AH I didn’t realize until after I finished, but I made the pronouns gender neutral out of habit… It’s too late to fix now, so I hope you won’t mind? I’m sorry aaaa !! I hope you still enjoy these ;;;

Leo:

They’re constantly having to remind him about their past as an idol whenever he seems confused. He seems to always forget; but the moment he’s reminded, Leo is the proudest boy in the world! He’ll watch old videos of you, and usually uses it for inspiration. He likes to play dress up with you, too, asking you to wear various idol outfits. Pretty much anything that pops into his head! He’s unpredictable.

His s/o can sing? That’s it, he’s sold. He already gets most of his inspiration from them, but now he can compose songs that they could possibly sing? He’s!! So Excited!!

Leo specializes in improv dance, mostly because he has trouble remembering set choreography. Since that’s the case, he takes advantage of his s/o’s past as an idol. They end up having to teach him his own choreography over and over; usually with him running into them on accident, or start improving his own dance.

Sena:

They had already managed to make him fall for them, since they were already a couple; but once he was told about their old career, he felt… lots of emotions. Why didn’t they tell him before? He mostly seemed annoyed with them. But really, he was ready to die over how cute and amazing they are. Plus, he felt a new, strange connection with them. As he transferred out of modeling, he understood how they probably feel.

His love turned into almost an obsession, in a way. His room transformed to almost look like a shrine for them, covered in posters and pictures of them on stage. But he hangs the most recent pictures, of them as a producer, near his desk. He’s incredibly proud of them; not only for who they were, but who they are.

When he learned how popular they were, and still are, he got even more protective of them. If that was possible. He feels a need to accompany them whenever they go out.

Arashi:

Arashi knew that they used to be an idol without having to tell him- he recognized them when the two first met. Though he brushed it off at first, he eventually realized his suspicions were correct. So when they told him about their past as an idol, he wasn’t surprised.

He constantly worries about them- if something had prompted them to quit their work as an idol, wouldn’t being a producer bring back bad memories? How could a big sis not worry? Even if he’s assured that they enjoy work as a producer, he can’t help but be a little worried.

One of his favorite things to do is watching their old music videos. He always comments about how cute their outfit is, or how pleasant their voice is, or how well they perform the choreography.

If given permission, Arashi loves singing with them! Their voice is just as lovely as it used to be, and he loves getting to perform duets. Even if it’s only them two that can hear.

Ritsu:

Ritsu is pretty indifferent to it. He didn’t give them much a reaction when they first mentioned it. After all, what they used to do doesn’t really matter, as long as they’re happy now, right? Though he was a little curious about it. He ended up watching a few videos, and was pretty shocked by their talent and popularity. He saw how much your fans adored them- causing him to get insanely jealous. The way they smiled at the crowd, and sang for their fans. He’s honestly glad they quit being an idol. Now he can have them all to himself!

Occasionally, he’ll ask them to sing lullabies. Though he doesn’t particularly need it to sleep, he loves having an excuse to hear them sing. Especially while knowing the fact that their song is for him, and him alone.

For some reason, he felt even more intent on keeping them away from Rei. That brother of his used to be a fan. Ritsu makes sure to never let the two encounter. But when they’re not with him, Ritsu loves rubbing it in his face.

Suou:

When they first told him, he was in shock. They were an idol? that idol? He suddenly felt undeserving of them. He admitted to being a huge fan. And also feels pretty dumb for not noticing the resemblance.

After he gets over his embarrassment, and manages to accept, yes, this is his favorite idol, he constantly asks for lessons from them. He strives to become an idol worthy of being with them! Despite them constantly telling him he doesn’t need to earn his title of their boyfriend.

He digs up all his old videos and merch that he had collected during their popular years, rewatching all the videos, and displaying all the items in his room.

Suou would tell everyone, and I mean everyone, that he’s dating the famous idol! He loves to tell others about their skills, and the fact that they are in a relationship with him. That’s his favorite part- the fact that he gets to keep them all to himself.

Eichi:

Having a family that’s very big in entertainment, Eichi knew them before they even really knew each other. They probably saw him randomly around, too. But neither of the two really recognized each other. When they officially met, it was as idols. So he was surprised when they quit their work, and is always asking them questions about it.

He’s always glad to have such an experienced and knowledgeable person as a producer. It’s nice for him to know that he can rely on them. He always lets them know that he counts on them.

He loves to tease them over it; especially over suggestive themes. Whether it be the song, their outfit, or the dance, he’ll poke fun at them. But, to know about any of those, he had to have watched the videos with those… and how many loops of watching would it take to remember the exact lyrics and choreography?

Wataru:

This boy is always spontaneous and unpredictable, and it got even more… dangerous, I’ll say, once he was notified of their past fame. He’s always planning random things, usually without thelling them. It ranges from performing a magic trick on stage, during a live, and make them appear, to putting on unannounced concerts during breaks. He even enjoys dressing them up, as he does to Tomoya. (Tomoya shares a mutual understanding  with them.)

As much as he flaunts their talent, he makes sure that they’re well aware that they need to be a capable producer still. Changing careers means changing careers- just because they were a popular idol doesn’t automatically make them an amazing producer! He’s always pushing them to work harder as a producer.

Of course he’s proud, though! But he’s mostly proud of how determined they are now, as a producer, compared to what they did before.

Tori:

Tori was also one of their fans! He’s always complaining to them- why did they quit? How dare they! He loved their singing! His fits usually end up with him sitting on their lap as they sing to him. He’ll get over it eventually. But that doesn’t mean they’ll get to stop singing for him.

He never shuts up about them. Literally every conversation he ever has with anyone, he manages to pop in a few (or more than a few) comments about how he’s dating one of the most popular idols around. Though some people are hapoy that he’s not bragging about himself as much, it got old quick. At least he’s talking about how amazing someone else is this time?

As much as he whines about practicing with Fine, when they’re overseeing the practice, suddenly he’s all fired up. He’ll always call out to them, make sure they’re watching. He gets pretty nervous at times, especially during lives. He reeeaaally wants to impress you…

Yuzuru:

He felt a new sense of comfort when he was informed of their past career. Before, he was worried that they saw him as someone better than themself. So hearing that they used to be an idol as well put those feelings to rest. He loves it this way. He thinks it’s perfect, and always tells them that. He couldn’t ask for a better person as his s/o.

Learning of their work as an idol made him feel slightly stupid, though- how did he not realize? They had so many traits that are generally sought after in idols, and mandatory when working as one. He’s so, so proud of them, though he tends to keep that to himself. He could tell that being an idol built their personality, and he admires their qualities.

Yuzuru can be pretty nervous at times, regarding their popularity. One of his worst fears is to have some fan of theirs finding them out in the public. Who knows what could happen? Though he’ll admit that not all fans are bad; unless you two are trying to be alone. Then he hopes that nobody, even the harmless fans recognize you.

[lukeysgirl]

Relentless | Calum Hood Series Pt.14

                                         Part F O U R T E E N

Request: Being the cousin of Ashton Irwin was exciting, especially when invited to their tour to hang out with his best friends. You found yourself becoming fond of Calum Hood, who finds you annoying from your constant appearance. But what would happen if you stopped giving him that attention?

Word Count: 3k+

A/N: this part is a lil spicy, so im sry if it kills ya heart ! but i swear itll get better, i promise it will ! im so happy you all enjoy it so much, it makes me smile so much! 100 notes please, loves xx

Parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. [DONE]  

                                                   I M A G I N E

Tokyo, 8:00 A.M. 

The boys remained silent once you asked about Nia. Michael became more pale than he already is as all the boys were quick to lose their appetites. That made your heart beat go faster. You couldn’t help but feel super nervous over their reactions. 

“W-well?” You asked desperately, looking over to your cousin in hopes that he’ll say something. But even Ashton couldn’t meet your eyes. “Guys, please don’t do this...” 

“Nia is part of the band also signed with Capitol,” Luke chimed. You looked over at the blonde boy, studying his indirect gaze at you as you listened attentively. 

“You mean from Hey Violet, right?” You furthered your interrogation. 

“Mhm,” Luke hummed with a nod. “She’s the drummer, but does vocals as well.” 

“But what’s her...” You began but trailed off, seeing Luke’s understanding of what you were asking. 

“She got close to him for the last year now,” Luke admitted. “She’s got this huge crush on Calum, but I think he found her annoying as well. But not because he likes her or anythin.’ Like actually annoying.” 

You giggled at this, but it still didn’t put you at ease. It was a little too much to be so overprotective when you just got with Calum, but you two have history. You and him have been in love with each other without the other knowing it. It felt like a challenge now knowing that you were to meet her soon. 

“Did he... did they ever... you know...” You broke your words, pure discomfort in allowing them to escape your lips. “Do anything?” 

Before Luke can continue, Michael patted his head gently. 

“Ask Calum yourself, okay?” Michael spoke to you softly. You look up at him, seeing the usually hyperactive spirit become so mature at serious times. It always amazed you how big he grew. “It would be more appropriate to hear it from him than anyone else about it.” 

“Okay then.” You still felt a little incomplete by everything. You didn’t want to feel so insecure as Calum was already yours and head over heels for you. Furthering that he didn’t even like Nia in return. But nonetheless, you can’t help but feel like something bad will happen once you get to America to meet the band. 

“...In other news, One OK Rock is coming with us to America!” Ashton pipes, changing the subject to something more exciting. You smiled at that, genuinely excited to get to know the band more. 

“We’re gonna have the best fucking time, mate!” Michael continued. “I was hoping that we could surprise the fans a bit by playing Take What You Want at one of our concerts soon since they’re our opening act.” 

“I think that would make the fans go crazy,” you agreed with Michael’s idea wholeheartedly. While Michael was hype over your response, you watched as the suite door opened to allow a seemingly-distressed Calum back in. 

“The management wants us to do a pop-up show in Nagoya,” Calum informed the boys. “So we’re leaving right now to make it over to Century Hall in time for soundcheck and what not. We have to tweet about it.” 

“Okay.” The 3 boys filed out of the suite immediately, leaving you alone with Calum. You stood up, dusted your bottom off of potential dust, and began to clean up after the boys. Picking up the plates and cups, you begin to head to the kitchen until Calum halted you. 

“Let me help you.” You watch as Calum lifts the weight of the ceramic plates from your arms and places them in the sink. He runs the water over them to remove residue and shuts it off, grabbing a paper towel to dry his hands. You watch as he returned in front of you and opens his arms in front of you. “Can I have a hug?” 

“Oh-- of course!” You quickly replied, rushing into your boyfriends arms as he wrapped his arms around you. You felt warm, sinking into the kind embrace of your lovely boyfriend. You realize that acting so paranoid won’t help your relationship progress at all. So instead, you’ve just chosen to ignore it and bring it up if it ever is brought up. You want to enjoy the time you have with Calum before returning back to your studies. 

“Are you sure you’re okay, love?” Calum mumbles against the top of your head, giving you a gentle kiss on your delicate head. One of his hands began weaving into your soft locks, giving you such a euphoric feeling of his touch. “I’m annoyed that you’re acting in a mood.” 

“I told you this morning that I was tired, baby,” you said softly, the side of your face leaning against his chest cozily. You suddenly felt his heart beat go a bit rapid than before, having you wondering what had happened. 

“You know, Y/N,” Calum began as he spoke against your head. “That’s the first time you’ve ever used ‘baby’ to address me.” 

“Has it?” You asked, slightly shocked and embarrassed at this. “Are you sure? I’m pretty sure I have called you baby or babe before!” 

“Probably, but you don’t use it that often!” Calum exclaims, pulling you off a bit to laugh at you. You blushed, giggling a bit yourself as you attempted to cover your face. “Baby, you’re so beautiful, don’t cover it up from me.” 

“Nooo, I’m so embarrassed!” You squeal. “I’m still not used to dating you because it’s so weird and I never thought it would ever happen but it did so I’m still in a bit of shock and disbelief and I’m rambling now, aren’t I?” 

“I’m glad I still make you nervous,” Calum said fondly. “It means that even though you have me, you’re still scared to do something wrong. You’re even afraid to use ‘baby’ even though you have the complete right to.” 

“Shush already, bubba,” you groaned sheepishly, hugging yourself with your arms as Calum laughed at you again. But he quickly pulled you into a hug again and rested his chin on your head. You could feel and hear his heart slow down now, making you feel a bit more at ease. 

“I’m glad you’re not mad at me or anything, bug.” 

Nagoya, 11:58 P.M.

You and the 8 boys arrived at the stadium way before the concert even begins, allowing everybody to prepare at soundcheck. You all came by train, so it was an obvious that Calum had slept on you for the good 3 hours and you were wide awake to make sure he slept soundly without interruption. Now at the stadium, you watched from the front seats as One OK Rock prepared their instruments first. 

“Have you heard anything from us, Y/N?” Taka asked politely as he began walking towards the front of the stage. The sun ray licked Taka’s pink hair perfectly as he sat down with his legs hanging off the stage. “Other than the song we sang last night together.” 

“Unfortunately, no, I haven’t!” You said sheepishly. “I was gonna look up your stuff, but it seemed so embarrassing already because I’m now on tour with you guys as well!” 

“It’s okay!” Taka tried, his tone threateningly cute for your own good. “But now that we’re here at soundcheck, I would hope that you could lend an ear.” 

“I’ll lend both!” You quickly stabbed in the air. “Your vocals were amazing when you sang with the boys-- I’d love to hear you some more, Taka.” 

“Mm, I’ve been practicing this song for a bit now,” Taka began, giving you a hopeful smile. “It’s not mine, but I am fond of it. I’ve been covering it and I might just be singing it during our set. Wanna hear it?” 

Giving him a vigorous nod, he requests one of the workers to pass him an acoustic guitar. As he reaches up to grab it, you glance to your side to find Calum somewhat glare over. He was at the back of the stage, testing his bass on his own. But that didn’t keep him from paying attention to you. 

“Okay, here we go...” Taka said slowly, giving you another quick smile before looking down at the guitar chords. He gives the strings a light rub before beginning to strum. “Can you hear, my heart beat? Tired of feeling, never enough. I close my eyes and tell myself that my dreams will come true...” 

You couldn’t help but smile from how clean Taka’s voice was and his insane control over it. He played with passion, like the rest of the boys, with an amazing originality that seemed impossible to compare. 

“Don't stop us now, the moment of truth--” His voice became more aggressive and strong, with veins popping from his neck. You could tell he was simply committed to singing. “We were born to make history. We'll make it happen, we'll turn it around. Yes, we were born to make history!” 

“Yo!” 

Taka suddenly stopped his music for you and him to turn and look over at Calum. His face was it’s usual resting bitch face as he held his long-strapped bass on him. He looked annoyed, which is a regular with Calum. But more annoyed at Taka more than anything. 

“Stop impressing my girlfriend,” Calum mumbled. “It’s annoying and it’s pissing me off.” You always giggled at Calum’s bluntness. Although it was playful, considering Taka was a friend, Calum still couldn’t help his jealousy at all. 

“Calm down, Hood,” Taka chuckled as he began to stand up and rush over to the Maori boy. He took off the guitar from his body and placed it on the stage in the center. He rushed over and gave Calum a big hug. “I love you!” 

“I hate you,” Calum replied, having jokingly and half annoyed. 

The management had been working them for hours in soundcheck. They desired flawless perfection, forcing them to ensure that all the mics would be ready, all the instruments were tuned to perfect, and Calum still had his lucky pick. This was also payback for the boys being careless regarding their flight over to Japan. But as they did, Calum kept receiving back to back calls and had to keep hanging up to the point where he simply shut it off. 

“Y/N, baby, let me serenade you,” Calum began, shoving Taka off playfully as he grabbed the acoustic and walked down the stage. He sat down the way Taka did as he adjusted the guitar on his lap. 

“Serenade me, aye?” You teased. “You gonna play Grind On Me for me, Cally?” You watched as your boyfriend frowned from the pet name you used. 

“You are not using Cally as a cute pet name for me,” Calum growled. 

“Awh, but it suits you so well!”

“No it doesn’t!” As Calum exclaimed, his phone slipped out of his pocket and dropped on the stage. As Calum bickered with you about the pet name, you couldn’t help but stare at his phone. It was off, but a series of calls have been disrupting Calum’s life. You couldn’t help but ponder...

Who was calling him? 

6:35 P.M. 

You stayed back stage with the boys as One OK Rock was delivering their set. You ensured to keep a good ear on their performance while still speaking with your boys. It was obviously that Taka and his band were very talented. They play perfectly in sync with Taka’s vocals so flexible. You were all in all very impressed. 

“So I got the scab from the party last night...” The other 3 boys were discussing who knows what while Calum had snagged you aside to speak with you. The both of you were recapping the party and how Calum danced so sensually on you. 

“You were off it, Calum!” You exclaimed. “I don’t even know how you were even able to dance like that in your skinny jeans!” 

“Y/N, I wear them every day,” Calum chuckled as he watched another video of his grinding. “I’ve gotten used to them and just know how to be flexible in them.” 

“But that’s not how it works!” Laughter and smiles were exchanged. This feels nice, you thought. Just happy vibes with your boyfriend made you feel more at ease about everything. It put your curiosity about Nia in a more settled state, allowing you to actually have a good time with the boy you love. 

“Jesus, I really got deep in there, didn’t I--” Calum began as he pointed at his crotch grinding against yours. But the video was suddenly halted when a caller was coming in. You tilted your head a bit to see the caller ID. 

Your heart froze to see the contact name. 

“Who is Nia Lovelis?” You asked softly, studying Calum;s face as he looked down at his phone. He quickly ended the call and put his phone on ‘Do Not Disturb.’ He reluctantly looked over at you and gave you a simple, stern expression. 

“Nobody,” Calum mutters quickly. 

“She’s obviously somebody if she has your number and calls you,” you say with an annoyed tone. “Has she... is she the one who has been calling you over and over?” 

“Doesn’t matter, it has nothing to do with you.” 

“Yes it does, actually!” 

“No it fucking doesn’t, Y/N!” Calum growled at you. “You have no reason to be jealous--” 

“Who said that I was jealous?” 

“Y/N, you’re retaliating over a girl calling me right now,” Calum said with an eye roll. “Of course you’re fucking jealous.” 

“I’m not jealous of a girl I haven’t even met,” you spat. “You’re the one dodging my questions-- why would I be jealous of someone who you claim is ‘nobody?’” 

“Because she’s another girl in my life, of course,” Calum said it with ‘isn’t it obvious?’ tone. “Everyone knows how girlfriends are about guys having friends who are girls.” 

“Holy shit, Calum, I just want to know who she is!” You exclaimed, desperate for answers. This has been killing you since the morning, wishing he would just answer your question so you can be relieved. “I don’t mind you having girls as friends, I just want to know who Nia is!” 

“But answer me first! Why the fuck do you care?” Calum yelled, having you taken aback by his strong tone. He raised his voice at you, having you fear that he was going to potentially hit you. You stayed quiet, looking at your boyfriend with horror in your eyes. 

“Y/N, just tell me why the hell do you care?” Calum asked, his voice much lower but still filled with anger. His hands gently grabbed your shoulders, having him force you to stare into his eyes. His touch sent chills down your spine, but not of anticipation. 

“Woah woah, calm yourself, Hood!” Ashton quickly came to your aid as he pulled you away from Calum. He stood in front of you, his hands shoving themselves in his pockets as he glanced back at you. “What’s going on?” 

“She’s askin’ about Nia,” Calum responded for you. “I don’t even know why-- how could she even have heard about her anyways?” Calum then slowly realized, widening his eyes before looking back at you. “Did you look through my fucking phone?” 

“Mate, you’re scarin’ her!” Michael quickly began, holding Calum’s shoulder. His chest was heaving quickly, but you weren’t noticing much. You kept your eyes on the floor, gazing distantly at it as Taka’s voice continued to ring through. 

“Though,” Luke piped in. “It would make sense if she did when she asked us earlier about Nia...” 

“Wait.” Calum looked like he wanted to explode. “Y/N asked about Nia? What the fuck-- what did you guys tell her?” Calum sounded like he was paranoid, almost pleadingly that the boys hadn’t uttered much to you. 

“Y/N, did you even look through his phone?” Ashton began quietly, glancing back at you to see you nod your head no. 

“I don’t even know the pass code...” you whispered truthfully, having Ashton turn back at the other boys. 

“Y/N isn’t lying, you know,” Michael said softly. “She’d never lie to us. And I’m pretty sure as cousins, Ashton would know if she would be lying.” Ashton confirmed this with a nod, feeling a bit of relief knowing how close he keeps his blood in his heart. 

“My cousin would never look through a phone that isn’t hers without consent...” Ashton murmurs. But you noticed how he tilted his head a bit, with his eyes a bit dim. “But how did you hear about Nia?” 

“She could’ve Googled ‘Calum girlfriend’ or something,” Luke suggested. You knew he didn’t mean to interrogate you, but he just wanted to put out potential options. 

“If she did that, she would’ve known about One OK Rock already,” Michael points out. And it’s true. You weren’t really stalkerish about the boy’s lives really. All you knew was that One Direction took them on their tour and they were finally signed to have their own tours. If you wanted to know any truth about rumors of the boys (if you cared enough), you would have asked your cousin himself. What would do you good to look into rumors about your childhood best friends? 

“And Hey Violet.” Ashton added. 

“Then, Y/N...” Calum began again, his voice a bit more calm and low than before. You didn’t dare meet his eyes, knowing that there were two flames in there ready to burst. “How do you know about Nia?” 

You felt nervous, feeling like you were a bad girlfriend for stirring drama in the band. But, you couldn’t help and feel insecure again. Whoever this girl was could be trying to take Calum from you and you wouldn’t be able to do a single thing about it. You clenched your hands into fists, feeling your emotions build up and distribute themselves around your body. Tears flooded your eyes and streamed down your cheek very slowly. 

“Because,” you choked, the words burning to get out. With shaky vocals, you let out a breath before speaking. “Calum said her name when he was falling asleep last night.” 

yikes, im causing drama ! pls dont hate meee. let me know whatcha think right over here (please and thank you!) im so happy you guys love this series so much-- i hope it never ends! 

[lesinstantsdeshasha-blog]

Precious idols

Let’s enjoy this instant in English, shall we?

VERSION FRANÇAISE, À L’AISE !

Bon, soyons honnêtes, l'inspiration d'origine de cet Instant de Shasha est morbide. Cette nuit, le chanteur de rock français Johnny Hallyday est décédé (décidément ça fait un peu trop de deuils à gérer en ce moment) – bon, par contre, ne me lancez pas davantage sur le sujet. Rapidement, cet homme était certes un pilier de la chanson française et l'un des représentants emblématiques de la culture populaire de notre pays, et je suis sincèrement désolée pour sa famille et son entourage, mais la déferlante d'hommages depuis ce matin est un peu excessive à mon goût et n'est pas sans me laisser très perplexe (et je dis ça objectivement, le fait que je n'aie jamais apprécié ni l'homme ni sa musique ne rentre pas en ligne de compte).

Bref, cet événement m'a donné envie de parler de la relation entre musiciens et fans (après tout on l'appelait bien « l'idole des jeunes ») – quoique cela s’applique à tout type d’artiste, mais c’est dans le domaine de la musique que j’ai vu les exemples les plus frappants.

S'il y a bien quelque chose qui m'a toujours interrogée, ce sont les groupies. Je ne parle pas des fans qui viennent à tous les concerts, collectionnent tous les CDs et DVDs ni de ceux qui ont carrément décidé de jouer les sosies de leur idole (autant vous dire que pour Johnny Hallyday, on n'en manque pas). Non, pour moi ces gens sont passionnés, peut-être parfois à l’extrême mais ça ne dépasse pas encore les limites de mon entendement. Les personnes dont je vous parle, les groupies, ce sont ces fans qui sont prêts à faire le pied de grue durant toute une froide nuit d’hiver devant l’hôtel ou même la propriété où réside leur chanteur/chanteuse favori(te) pour ne serait-ce que tenter de l'apercevoir quand il/elle sortira le lendemain ; ces personnes qui n’hésiteront pas à envoyer des flots d'injures et de menaces à la moitié actuelle de leur idole parce que cette dernière mérite tellement mieux (elles-mêmes, en l’occurrence ?) ; ces gens qui vont guetter le moindre article concernant ce chanteur/cette chanteuse et sont capables de disserter dessus pendant des heures sans oublier de donner leur avis, qui, bien sûr, est forcément meilleur que le vôtre ; ces personnes qui vont soutenir à fond leur idole jusqu’au jour où elles vont menacer de se suicider parce que l'idole ne leur aura jamais répondu ou qu'elles se sentiront trahies par je ne sais quelle action de celle-ci ; enfin bref, je crois que vous voyez ce que je veux dire.

Je me rappelle la première fois que j'ai entendu la chanson “Stan” d'Eminem feat. Dido. Si l'issue de la chanson m'a horrifiée, ça n’était rien à côté de ce que j'ai ressenti quand j’ai compris que ce genre de choses arrivaient en vrai, que des gens pouvaient être et agir comme Stan dans la chanson. J’ai eu exactement la même réaction lorsque j'ai découvert l'histoire vraie derrière le tubissime “Billie Jean” de Michael Jackson (en résumé, le Roi de la Pop avait reçu des lettres successives d’une femme affirmant qu'il était le père d'un de ses jumeaux, et à la fin, elle lui a carrément envoyé un pistolet en lui donnant un jour et une heure précise à laquelle il devrait se suicider et elle ferait de même). Je me suis aussi toujours sentie très mal-à-l'aise en voyant tous ces fans perdre connaissance et devoir être évacués lors des concerts de ce dernier (parfois même avant qu’il ne soit entré sur scène…).

Vous l'aurez donc certainement compris, la photo accompagnant ce post n'est qu'une illustration du sujet et non une description de ma réalité, bien que Michael Jackson demeure mon artiste favori de tous les temps. Mais je me suis bien amusée à réaliser cette photo, je dois l’avouer ^^

Je n'ai jamais été une groupie, même si cela ne m'a pas empêché de fantasmer plusieurs fois sur certains de mes chanteurs préférés et de m'imaginer vivant une aventure romantique passionnée avec certains d'entre eux (jamais avec MJ d’ailleurs, maintenant que j’y réfléchis). C’est allé un peu plus loin dans le cas de l’Anglais Tom Chaplin, chanteur de mon groupe préféré, Keane. Vous vous souvenez du monde imaginaire auquel j’ai fait allusion dans mon post sur les origines de ma passion pour l’écriture ? Eh bien, à un moment donné, il en a été une partie intégrante. Autrement, avec mon mari, nous avons une “private joke” qui court entre nous : j'appelle Tom Chaplin mon « second mari » et je désigne le Nord-Irlandais Neil Hannon, fondateur de la formation musicale pop baroque The Divine Comedy, comme étant mon « troisième mari ». Je dis d’ailleurs tout le temps que Neil Hannon, c’est mon mari avec 20 ans de plus (et 20 ans exactement, ils ont la même date de naissance, ce qui est assez fou et drôle quand j’y pense) et 15 cm de moins. Mais tout ça n'a jamais dépassé les frontières de mon imagination ou de la blague. Alors bien sûr, j'ai toujours été surexcitée lors des concerts de Keane, de Tom Chaplin, de The Divine Comedy ou de Neil Hannon, je connais plein de leurs chansons par cœur, j'adore lire les interviews qu’ils peuvent donner et tomber par hasard sur une vidéo dans laquelle mes « deuxième et troisième maris » sont tous les deux réunis sur scène pour chanter ensemble me fait hurler de joie, mais ça ne va pas plus loin. Quand je fréquentais encore le site de Keane et plus précisément le forum, ça me faisait toujours bizarre de lire les sujets remplis entièrement de déclarations d'amour pour l'un des membres du groupe (et le plus souvent pour Tom Chaplin vu que c’était lui la voix du groupe, celui qui était le plus mis en avant). Comment peut-on prétendre aimer quelqu'un qu'on ne connaît finalement pas ? Ça me dépasse…

Et pourtant, ça existe. Ça doit faire un peu peur quand on est l'idole, parce que derrière les chansons, le succès et les flashs des photographes, ça reste des êtres humains. Et se voir vouer un véritable culte a de quoi troubler quand on n'a rien demandé. J'imagine que tant qu'il y aura des stars, il y aura leur lot de groupies téméraires qui essaieront d'attirer sur elles un peu de leur lumière. Mais moi l'ombre me va très bien, merci.

ENGLISH VERSION HERE, MY DEAR!

All right, let’s be completely honest, what inspired this Instant de Shasha is quite…morbid. Last night, the French rock’n’roll singer Johnny Hallyday passed away (there are definitely too many persons to mourn these days) – however, please do not ask me to go any further on this topic. Very briefly, this man may have been a cornerstone of French music and one of the most famous representatives of our country’s popular culture, and even though I am sincerely sorry for the loss of his family and loved ones, the tributes to him which have flooded since this morning are just a little bit too much for me and leave me quite puzzled, actually (and I’m being objective when I write this, me not liking the man nor his music does not interfere in this judgement).

So, this event gave me the idea of talking about the relationship between musicians and their fans (after all, he was called “the youth’s idol” back in the days) – even though this may apply to every type of artists, but it’s in the music field that I’ve seen the most shocking illustrations.

If there is something I’ve always wondered about, it’s groupies. I’m not talking about the fans who come to each and every gig and have all of the CDs and DVDs at home, nor am I talking about those who have decided to become doubles of their idol (and I can tell you that we’ll never lack of Johnny Hallyday’s ones). No, according to me, these people are passionate, sometimes a bit extremely, but I can still comprehend them and their attitude. The people I’m talking about, the groupies, are these fans who are ready to wait outside a whole winter night in front of the hotel or place where their favourite singer is staying, hoping they’ll be able to catch just a glimpse of them when they’re out the next morning; these persons who will not hesitate a second to send thousands of insults and threats to their idol’s lover because they deserve someone so much better (themselves, actually?); these people who will check every magazine for every bit of information on this singer and are capable of talking about them for hours without ever forgetting to give you their opinion on all matters, an opinion which is always better than yours, obviously; these persons who will support their idol to the end of the earth until the day they’re going to threaten to commit suicide because their idol will never have answered them or because they’ll feel betrayed by one of their deeds; I think you get the picture.

I remember the first time I heard the song “Stan” by Eminem feat. Dido. If the end of the song just horrified me, it was nothing compared to what I felt when I understood that this kind of things did happen in real life, that some people could be and act like Stan from the song. I had the very same reaction when I discovered the real story behind the oh-so-famous song “Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson (to sum it up, the King of Pop had received numerous letters from a woman saying he was the father of one of her twins, and in the very end, she went as far as sending him a package containing a gun and giving him a day and a time at which he should commit suicide and so would she). I’ve always felt very embarrassed watching all those fans fainting and needing to be evacuated during his concerts (sometimes even before he got on stage…).

You will therefore probably have understood that the picture accompanying this post is only meant to be an illustration of the topic at hand, not a description of my life, although Michael Jackson remains my favourite artist forever. But I had a lot of fun making it, I have to say ^^

So, I never was a groupie, even though this has never prevented me from fantasizing several times on some of my favourite singers and to imagine myself living a beautiful and epic relationship with some of them (it never happened with MJ, by the way). It even went a little bit further with English singer Tom Chaplin, the singer of my favourite band, Keane. Do you remember the imaginary world I talked about in my post on the origins of my passion for writing? Well, at some point, he was a big part of this world. Otherwise, there is also a “private joke” running between my husband and I: I call Tom Chaplin my “second husband” and I call Northern-Irish singer Neil Hannon, founder of the baroque pop formation named The Divine Comedy, my “third husband”. I always say that Neil Hannon is my husband 20 years older (and I mean 20 years exactly, they share the same birth date, which is, thinking about it, quite crazy and funny, too) and 6 inches shorter. But all of this never went beyond the boundaries of my imagination or went further than joking. I’ve obviously always been more than excited during Keane’s, Tom Chaplin’s, The Divine Comedy’s or Neil Hannon’s gigs, I know a lot of their songs by heart, I love reading their interviews and finding out by chance a video on YouTube where my “second and third husbands” are singing together on stage overfills me with joy, but that’s all there is to it. When I used to be active on Keane’s website’s forum, I always found it quite weird and felt awkward when I saw all those threads filled with love declarations for one of the members of the band (most often they were aimed at Tom Chaplin because he was the frontman of this band). How can you claim that you love someone you actually do not really know? I just can’t wrap my head around this…

But it happens. That must be a little terrifying when you’re the idol, because behind the songs, the success and the paparazzi’s flashes, you’re still a human being like any other. And being the object of some real dedicated cult must be troubling when you didn’t ask for anything. I guess that as long as there will be stars, there will be some reckless groupies who will try to catch a bit of their light for themselves. But I belong in the shadows.