#compare each other and potentially bully each other. the differences in what people provide Could be distracting! if your kid is the only

[poptartmochi]

unfathomable emotions after showering

also.. i hit tag limit on this, so watch out for a very long post if you hit read more on the tags! 😨

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

“It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”: How one line sparked a pointless debate

Oh, this one line. It really should have cleared everything up. Those who picked up on hints at Will being written as gay saw it as a reassurance. Others saw it as a sign that Will is developmentally behind his friends and just isn’t ready for romance yet. The biggest flaw in this feud is in seeing these two as mutually exclusive options. There is no reason that Will can’t be both gay and not ready for dating. 

On the matter of Will’s sexual orientation, there have been many hints throughout each season of Stranger Things thus far. In Season 1, Will is mentioned as having been bullied by both his father and peers for perceived homosexuality. Joyce says that Lonnie would call him “queer” or “fag”, and this is also what Troy and James would try and use to bully him at school. Troy and James using this is particularly meaningful since they just as easily, if not more easily, targeted Will for being poor or small. The writers made it a point that this was what Will gets bullied for.

His relationships with Joyce and Jonathan also support the idea that Will may be different, even if they don’t necessarily know how. The love and support that viewers get to witness from Will’s family is conspicuous should it turn out to be insignificant. Jonathan tries to reassure Will that there’s nothing wrong with being different or weird. He explicitly tells him that he doesn’t need to like something just because he is supposed to. Joyce provides unconditional love and support for Will’s “less masculine” interests. In an effort to break through Will’s possession, she recalls Will drawing a spaceship. She specifically mentions it being a “rainbow ship” and how proud she was of him. These are little things that, when considered in a vacuum, others could say people are reading too deeply into. It gets a bit harder to dismiss, however, when combined with other evidence.

Will’s relationship with Mike continues to reinforce the idea that Will may be gay. Beyond the fact that their friendship is shown as being somewhat deeper than that of the rest of the party, there are also specific moments that show that Will may see Mike as something more than a friend. At the Snowball, Will resists dancing with a girl who asks him to dance, and he looks over to Mike as he begins to stammer out a refusal. While it may not have come across as explicitly on screen, the script also mentions that while Will is dancing with the girl his eyes are fixed on Mike.

Season 3 brings some new evidence as well. Will watches his friends gain girlfriends, and it is clear he doesn’t see the appeal. His mother suggests that he will one day, to which he replies “I’m...not gonna fall in love.” It’s not a childish reaction of disgust. Instead, it comes across more like annoyance and resignation, as if he’d thought about it before and didn’t like the answer. In addition, he reacts to Mike’s relationship in a way that is unique. All three of his friends have girlfriends, but only Mike’s evokes disgust in Will. Lucas regularly banters and bickers with Max, and Dustin absolutely gushes over Suzie, but Will appears unfazed by them. The suggestion is that Will is jealous.

Will’s fight with Mike is framed as analogous to Mike’s fight and breakup with El. This is where the title quote comes from. Will accuses Mike of “ruining everything” by spending his time making out with “a stupid girl.” This prompts Mike to angrily reply that it’s not his fault Will doesn’t like girls. Will is rendered speechless despite his previous anger, and Mike immediately seems to regret it. It’s a very well-crafted scene, that somehow retains a degree of ambiguity despite the implication that Will simply “doesn’t like girls.” This and the other pieces of evidence are circumstantial in real-life, but this is a TV show, and one that is meticulously written and shot.

On the other hand, Will is also depicted as being somewhat less mature than his friends. Being portrayed by a younger actor compared to the others, Will is smaller than his peers. He also lacks much of the sass or attitude that is often seen in boys his age. Season 3 also goes to great lengths to dress him in simpler, boyish outfits compared to the more mature, style-conscious choices of the others. He has an almost fanatical desire to play D&D, and is very amused by Dustin’s gadgets. These are some of the main reasons people think he just hasn’t matured to the point of wanting a girlfriend.

The problem with this approach is that it assumes eventual heterosexuality from Will. It is very possible that Will has not reached the point of wanting romantic relationships, but evidence suggests that when he does he may not be interested in girls. It may also be that his lack of a desire in romance may instead be a desire to avoid romance. 

If Will is indeed a young man grappling with homosexual desires, he would no doubt be terrified. Given the time period and the bullying he’s received, this would be an undesirable outcome. Accepting these desires could lead to isolation, violence, and even death. It would be admitting that everything people have said about him was right all along. It would mean his dad would never love him. It would mean he would be better off not growing up, never falling in love. 

Will didn’t need to worry about a girlfriend as a kid. It was completely acceptable for him to spend all of his time with his friends. With Mike. For Will, growing up could mean all of that changing. It could mean facing his feeling for Mike. It could mean losing Mike to a girl. It could mean no more trips to the arcade, no more movies, no more late-night D&D sessions. It would mean everything changing, and it’s easy to see why Will would want nothing to change. It’s not so much that Will isn’t ready to grow up as it is he is refusing to.

Will potentially being homosexual and not wanting to grow up are not issues in opposition to each other. In fact, the former is, at least in part, the trigger for the latter. 

[dramionediscussion]

I read the recent post about divination, and now I have some serious doubts. Like did I misunderstood entirely what the whole divination thing canonically is? I’ve read books couple of times, seen movies once, but it’s been awhile. I’ve read a small library of fanfics (99% Dramione), so I am no way a HP canon-lore expert. But that post left genuinely puzzled, like how does it go canonically? Was Hermione basically right or not? I would be grateful, if someone could either correct or confirm, whether my understanding of HP canon is true or not, please! As I understood it, divination sort of is “real”, but in a quite nuanced way, and that Trelawney’s class didn’t (and probably couldn’t) teach “true divination”, and it was a waste of time for students wishing to learn that skill. Certain people simple are “true seers”, and this clairvoyance ability cannot be acquired or learned (at least in a controlled or widely understood way). It was heavily hinted at, that the talent is in-born, and possibly entirely hereditary, or at least considerably so (the reason for Trelawney’s job interview was that she was related to a famous seer). Although, it’s also implied that astromancy is an exception, and via astronomy even those who are not seers can foresee future events to some degree (though it seems there’s large qualitative difference between these predictions and those made by “true seers”. Astromancy seems to be predicting very generalized trends, instead of specific events or happenings of individual people). However, this is more an impression one gets by the gravitas and dignity granted to Firenze and centaurs contra Trelawney (I think, Firenze did make accurate predictions, but they were so board and vague, thus is not clear whether they were just educated guesses or true foresight). If I recall no true predictions are made by any other method (Trelawney taught and practiced at least cartomancy, tasseomancy, and crystallomancy. Maybe also chiromancy and some others, which I don’t remember atm). More than that, it seems that true prophecies are not produced via any method, but rather received uncontrollably and involuntarily without any conscious effort or will. All this leaves many open questions and a lot of room for quite different interpretations. The only seer we see in a great detail is Trelawney, and it’s not clear whether her circumstances were universally applicable or just particular to her. Like, do all true seers make their predictions by falling into an uncontrollable trance, or do some of those methods work for some other seers at least? Can this talent be cultivated or honed in any way? Can one manipulate circumstances for receiving these predictions? At least some portion of the wizarding world seems to believe, that divination is accessible to basically anybody, because the ministry approves teaching of it, and there’s learning material and curriculum beyond Trelawney. Though, the ministry seems to treat reading tealeaves different from true seers’ predictions, which are gathered and organized in by the department of mysteries, unlike Harry’s or Ron’s schoolwork. There’s also a faint possibility that some form of milder divination is possible (something like predicting whether you will have a good day at the work by reading tarot cards), and Trelawney was just incompetent at teaching it. Existence of true seers doesn’t exactly logically contradict existence of lesser divination by non-seers. Still, the view that the only real divination is by done true seers (and possibly astromancy) seems to be canonically most likely, or the one JKR tried to convey. These other forms of divinations and omens are just wizarding superstitions some believe, including at least partly the ministry itself (like do the wizengamot or ministers consult diviners before making decisions. Or is it taught simply due a political inertia, like some atavistic custom or tradition from the past. Or perhaps divination is not there to teach the art, but to screen for potential seers from the youth). I think, Hermione did acknowledge fairly early that there are true predictions, by true seers (at least I don’t think she ever objected when the whole chosen one prophecy was brought up, and she seemed to treat the affair with a total sincerity). Even if Trelawney was mostly a fraud, and her class a waste of time (my canonical understanding), and she was right in her criticism. It might not still be the real reason she quit the class, or it could’ve been at least only partial reason. If we imagine a different turn of events, and let’s say that Trelawney would’ve taken an instant liking to her, and praised her efforts and rewarded her with approval and good grades. Would’ve she dropped the course anyway, or rationalized herself believing truthiness and benefits of Trelawney’s class? Would her general opinion about divination change, if she was admired and accepted by her female peers, instead of ignored and shunned? As I interpret Hermione’s character, it’s impossible to give a good answer to that, because in the canonical version the truth about Trelawney and divination in general is also both socially and emotionally convenient to Hermione. Being a multidimensional character, it’s very hard to say, how she would act in different circumstances, or what are all factors, which possibly influence her behavior and choices. I think, it’s a fair characterization to say that she clearly prices truth and objectivity in knowledge, beyond simple social or emotional utility. She pursues knowledge and truth at least partly for her own curiosity, pleasure and integrity. In the other hand, it’s also true that she places a great importance and trust on authorities and she can be extremely authoritarian in knowledge (though her hierarchy is not exactly the official authority like the ministry, or the Daily Prophet, but this informal community of wizarding experts and academics who produce the books she loves, relies and trusts so much. And of course Dumbledore and Mcgonagall, and other exemplary Light side wizards and witches). She craves attention, praise and acceptance and recognition of not only authorities and the wider wizarding world, but also those around her. I don’t think, there’s plausible answer for that, if she had a serious internal conflict between those two different sides of her personality. Canonically there’s no conflict, and her course is relatively clear on the matter. I would rate both outcomes in the case of conflict equally likely. That she would’ve continued divination, if she was “good” at it, and also that she would’ve dropped it, because her academic integrity. There are situations in which, she socially and personally inconveniences herself greatly, like telling Mcgonagall about the Firebolt, but it’s not exactly comparable, because she also believed that Harry could’ve been in a mortal danger. Besides, even if there was exactly comparable situation canonically, people are not always consistent on their priorities, and they might sometimes act quite differently in almost exactly similar situations. Personally I am quite conflicted about JKR’s whole “Hermione is not like the other simpering girls”-bit. In most situations, when it raises its head, I find it quite infuriating (especially with her appearance). Often it is just a desperate and egotistical way to promote oneself, and denigrate feminine traits and behavior. In the other hand, I’ve witnessed this happening in my own life (not to myself, but to people around me). Not a gender dysphoria or anything, but more like tomboys and girls who simply were not interested in things almost all other girls in their age-group were, and they got heavily ostracized and bullied for that by majority of girls. I can understand that certain women genuinely feel like that, and kind of objectively are not like other girls (in good and ill), and have issues with female friendships and female peer-groups. It’s hard to say how common that is, but also I don’t like this idea of trying meme into reality that all women are automatically natural friends and allies with each other, and that the fiction should also reflect this. Or that only reason why this isn’t so, is some outdated beliefs or cultural practices, which can be easily remedied by simple education. Frankly, I don’t think it’s real to that extent, and trying to pretend it is, will lead to harmful outcomes for women, who will go in their lives trusting in it. Women do have shared interests as women, and there’s shared commonalities with other women, which are not shared by men. There’s kind of a sisterhood of mutual understanding and joy in friendships and kinship with other women as women. But in the other hand, there’s also a lot of rivalries and conflicts within the same sisterhood.    Still, the way she disparagingly frames Lavender’s and Parvati’s interest in a divination, as silly, superfluous and fake, is more in line with the former approach. It’s rather cheap jab towards astrology and women who enjoy or practice it. It’s hard to know even where to start with that, because women basically never base serious decisions in it. Mostly it provides them a framework and starting point to discuss different temperaments and personality types in people. Also, it’s just a little (harmless) excitement and bringing some enchantment back to the dreary and banal world and mundane routines most people suffer through. Nobody lost their house because of astrology, unlike men’s many astrologies, like cryptocurrency and “beating the markets” investment models and schemes. Besides, interestingly enough there’s some truth to astrology. unlike I-LOVE-SCIENCE midwit sceptic-bros believe :P

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Edit:

According to the HP WIKIA:

Divination is a subject taught at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It teaches methods of divining the future, or gathering insights into future events, through various rituals and tools. The magic taught in this class, as well as the ability to say prophetic things is a branch of magic referred to as "divination."

So basically, while yes you have to possess the ability to "see", you as a regular witch or wizard can learn certain skills for divining. (Divining is an actual thing; To divine is the discover something by guesswork or intuition).

The WIKIA also says:

Divination is an elective subject available beginning in a student's third year. Students study a myriad of ways to scry information about the future, including tea dregs, crystal balls, visions, and Astrology and horoscope charts. Other methods of divining the future include smoke patterns, dreams, tarot cards, and the interpretation of prophecies, though the latter is quite rare. Guides and textbooks allow students of Divination to discern or translate what observed symbols intend to mean.

It's like here in the real world, some people believe in these things, others don't. But I think in the magical world, I'll personally will be more likely to believe in these things. And they seem like something kids should be exposed to a bit.

I think the problem was with the teacher. She probably wasn't the best person to teach and introduce these ancient and maybe not so widely used methods to the children. She is seen in the books/movies as bit of a nutjob, but she made that predicition about Voldy and Harry and so Dumbledore hired her to keep close incase she made probably more prophecies. It's funny though, everyone laughs about this subject and mocks it's teacher, but they whole heartedly believe the prophecy because Dumbledore says he believes it. Harry and his friends even broke into the Ministry to find it. So they take his word, but completely disrespects the actual person who made the prophecy in the first place. Makes sense -_-.

Hermione, she is a muggleborn, so of course she immdiately goes with logic and reasoning and science. It must have been hard for her to learn that magic is real and learn about this new world (even if she was excited about it). The thing with other subjects is that the results are immediate. When she casts a spell, it works automatically, it does what she told it to do. When she makes a potion, it looks/smells they way the books said it would and after using it, she sees/feels the effects. Divination isn't like that, you cannot get immediate results. You have to wait years for some things to happen but it may not always since other factors can influence it and completely change it.

So even in this magical world, she still operates with logic and facts and immediate results, just like in the muggle world. That's why it was difficult for her to "get" divination. Add on a rather incompetant teacher, a stressful third year where she overloads herself; it makes sense for her to just call it bullshit and quit. Maybe if the teacher did indeed like her and gave her praises, she may have not left so easily; she gets praises in other subjects and yes it does seem like she craves it. Hermione is incredibly Type A!

JKR admitted to basically modelling Hermione as herself. So if you think that Hermione's character was unnecessarily mean to Lavender and Parvati, JKR wrote it that way, maybe because she herself feels that way about women/girls like that. Should she have done that? No. Many girls loved Hermione, many saw themselves as her. There isn’t many nerdy girls who save the day in movies and shows and books. So reading about Hermione being popular and smart and liked and having awesome friends and saving the world, defeating evil, was amazing! But as an adult, looking back on things, you realise that Hermione is very much a  "not like other girls" girl, and not in a good way. She is very condesending especially to other girls or people who are not as smart as her. And that isn't a good message to send to girls who relate to this character. And it tells you a lot about JKR herself (if her twitter didn't already)!

- Lisa

[wordsnstuff]

20 Mistakes To Avoid in YA Fiction/Romance

* This is a re-upload due to the original being flagged a few months ago for having a gif of two teenagers...*GASP*... dancing. What, tumblr? What is “adult” about that? The post has been in appeal for 4 months, and I have a feeling it won’t leave, so I decided to finally repost it. 

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YA Fiction is an incredibly popular genre of literature, and most people have picked one up and devoured it in less than a day, but there is a trend in the genre where in certain instances, people forfeit quality for a cheesy dramatic plot. A lot of these stories are just regurgitated cliches with vaguely interesting characters and just enough drama, fluff, and mildly (or extremely) sexual content to keep the reader paying attention. (No shade to the authors, because obviously, any author who writes and publishes a book works hard, no matter the end product.)

There are a lot of aspects of YA Fiction that repeatedly rear their ugly heads and annoy readers or flat out scream dangerous messages to the young people that indulge in them. I thought I’d put the spotlight on a few in the hopes that it will help clean up the genre’s reputation as new and more awakened authors contribute content to it.

Below you will read about some common mistakes that YA Fiction/Romance writers make that either ruin the story, promote dangerous messages, or unrealistically portray teenagers.

Forgetting The Supporting Characters

The supporting characters are an important part of any story, even if the main plot revolves around two people. Supporting characters provide subplots, information to the reader, and more opportunities for your audience to connect and relate to your story. It’s always good to give your supporting characters love and attention when creating and writing them. Sometimes they end up carrying the story.

A mistake that a lot of authors make is that they give the reader a couple defining characteristics, a name, a relationship to the main character, and then just make that character pop into the reader’s view whenever the main plot needs them to. No backstory. No life of their own. Just support to the plot, and that’s a huge waste of potential. You don’t want your readers to put down your book and either forget the supporting characters existed at all, or believe that they were extra pieces of a puzzle.

Using Slang Badly

Writers should not feel the need to include current slang in order to make their story more relatable or popular amongst their targeted demographic. Slang is constantly changing, evolving, and most importantly, dying. Not to say that you should only write in traditional terms or put “thy” and “thee” everywhere, but using standard English and avoiding the trendy but temporary slang words is key.

If you must use slang, try to use the bare minimum and only in fitting circumstances. If your character is the type to say “OMG her dat boi memes are on fleek” then, by all means, go right ahead, but you probably cringed when you read that. That would have been totally normal 2 years ago, but every bit of that sentence has died over time, and no matter how much you think a slang word will stick, don’t risk it.

Sympathy and Envy Mongering

Two emotions that YA Fiction and Romance always try to invoke in their readers are sympathy and envy. The author either wants the reader to feel bad for one or many of the characters, or they want them to be jealous of the awesome (and usually unrealistic) lives the characters have. Don’t be one of these. It’s tired and boring and not original in the slightest.

Are sympathy and empathy both totally okay emotions?

Yes.

Are they all you need to write a good story?

Nope. Not at all.

The reader needs and wants to feel more than jealous of and sad for the characters in the story. The best stories are the ones that trigger a complex whirlwind of emotion. Sympathy and envy are the easy way out, and you get out of those emotions what you put into them.

Unrealistically Portraying Teenagers & Teenage Life

Teenagers look up to and compare themselves and their lives to the characters and lives of the characters in your story. Keeping in mind that your audience is young and impressionable is essential for authors of the genre.

Love At First Sight

Love-at-first-sight does not happen. Infatuation, maybe, but love is more complicated than that. Writing a plot based on “love at first sight” can leave a bad taste in your readers’ mouths from the start, and that is something you should avoid at all costs. On top of that, love-at-first-sight is a very easy-way-out move and if you’re dedicated to your characters and your story, there’s a good to fair chance that you can come up with a more satisfying build up.

Unrealistic Romantic Situations

If you’ve ever opened a YA Romance, chances are you’ve read a scene in which the protagonist and the love interest end up in a stunningly beautiful place and the love interest sweeps the protagonist off their feet prior to riding into the sunset. This, unfortunately, does not happen very often, especially in teenage relationships. The most romance you’re going to get (usually) is the love interest offering to pay for the protagonist’s bag of skittles with the leftover money from their paycheck they earned at McDonald’s.

Just because teenagers don’t really go to great lengths to rent an entire ice-skating rink in the middle of the night so they and their crush can skate to Ellie Goulding music doesn’t mean there can’t be cute and memorable moments. Great doesn’t always equal grand and that’s important to remember. A lot of the time, teenagers appreciate fantasizing about things that are actually possible.

Happy Endings

Not all stories have to end happily, and you’ve definitely been told this before, but nobody ever takes into account how stories about teenagers have so much potential when it comes to endings. Teenagers read books about teenagers and unfortunately, this means that a lot of them will take what you’re writing about and try to change their own lives to match. Be honest in your depiction about what actually happens when you leave high school.

The majority of the time, high school sweethearts won’t stay together. Long distance won’t work, they’ll find someone else, the spark will die out, their personalities will undergo drastic changes, and their goals and plans for the future will turn out differently than they expected. “And they lived happily ever after” is criticized harshly for a reason, especially in YA and YA Romance. Most stories don’t end happily, but there is more than one story in a person’s life and giving a person their happy ending as they graduate high school is a great injustice, to your character and your readers.

Avoiding The Dark Parts Of Teenage Life

Teenagers, despite what a lot of the media claims, go through some really serious and stressful and damaging things. Teenagers suffer from mental illness and deal with the intense pressure of the education system and hold their heads high in the face of stigma over every little detail about them. They suffer from eating disorders and body dysmorphia and self-harm tendencies, and that doesn’t even bring into account the bullying and family issues and the stress of constantly learning and feeling things for the very first time with little to no guidance or assurance or resources to ask for help. It is hard being a teenager. Do not forget that, and don’t leave the actual teenagers reading your story feeling underrepresented and/or abnormal because they aren’t as stress-free as the characters they look up to.

Exaggerating How Teenagers Interact With Each Other

A lot of teenage interactions are short, awkward, and uneventful. Teenagers aren’t super eloquent and socially apt, but YA Fiction seems to believe they are. It’s quite rare that a teenager will just walk up to someone they like, say “wanna go to dinner on Saturday?” and all will be fine and dandy. It’s quite rare that a teenager will saunter up to someone who talked about them behind their back, say something super clever and damaging to their enemy’s ego, and saunter off like the king/queen of the world. Those interactions look great in our heads, but they usually contain a few stuttered words and “um”s and blushing. Confidence is usually a trait that people develop later in life, so try not to push it if you’re trying to be realistic.

Maturity of Teenagers

Teenagers are underdeveloped human beings with minimal experience in most areas of life. They do not have it all figured out. A lot of YA books revolve around characters that are extremely intelligent, disciplined and ambitious at a level of maturity a 25-year-old be on. This is not accurate. Making characters “awkward” or “childish” does not have anything to do with how mature they seem to readers. There is a distinct difference between an awkward girl with childlike innocence and a girl who makes mistakes, does not have her life figured out, and is not yet comfortable with casual social interaction. The latter things I mentioned are pretty universal when it comes to teenagers.

Unfitting Aspirations

There are more than two paths in life. It seems that in YA you’re either going to graduate, get married, pop out a couple kids and live the rest of your life in the suburbs, or you’re going to leave home, go to college, travel for 20 years and settle in some random country in Europe writing poetry until the end of your days. There is no in between, which sucks. There are a lot of interesting things you can do in life, not to say that either of the two life paths I mentioned are uninteresting. You could take a gap year and travel the world, go to college, move back home for a couple years then maybe get a job that has you traveling and exploring new things for the rest of your life. You could meet the love of your life in college and have some kids but put them in online school so you could travel with them. You could live your whole life in an awesome cabin in the forest casting spells and adopting wild squirrels. There are so many ways life can be and restricting it to opposite extremes takes the imagination out of the future.

Not All Teenagers Think Their Relationships Will Last Forever

This one is pretty self explanatory, so long story short, not every relationship a teenager enters into is with the end goal of staying together forever, or even more than a few months. Most teenage relationships are pretty short and not very meaningful, and portraying every single couple in your stories as “we’ve been going strong for 2 years and plan on getting married right after graduation” is inaccurate and will probably cause your readers some disappointment in the future.

Relationships Aren’t A Teenager’s Only Concern

Most teenagers are more concerned about the F they got on a History test than they are about who they’re going to stare at next period. Everyone has more than just their crush to worry about. Some teenagers have to worry about where they’re going to get their next meal or how they’re going to get a ride home from school or even how they can apologize to a friend they’ve hurt. It’s not all about relationships for teenagers, in fact, relationships are a pretty small part of teenage life. If all your character has to think about is the hottie they sit next to in Biology, perhaps you should work a little more on character development.

Unnatural Appearances

Most teenagers are not model-level attractive. All teenagers have break-outs and leave the house late with greasy hair or with their shirt on inside out. No teenager shows up at school every day looking absolutely flawless, as if they’re about to walk down the runway. Please keep that in mind, because portraying teenagers accurately, especially when it comes to physical aspects such as weight, acne, etc. is super important. In YA and YA Romance, you must keep in mind that the teenagers you are trying to appeal to should not feel like a piece of trash because they aren’t as perfect as your characters. Yes, YA Fiction is Fiction, but just because you know that it’s unrealistic doesn’t mean your readers do. Readers of YA Fiction compare themselves to the characters in your books whether you like it or not. It is not hard to realistically portray physical appearances of teenagers.

Avoiding Dangerous Messages

A common problem found in YA Fiction is the lacing of dangerous messages found in the smaller details. You may miss them the first couple times you read a story, but if you go looking for them, you will find them, and perhaps you will find the source of a lot of mistakes you’ve made. YA has a bad habit of endorsing mindsets that lead to bad decisions. Some of them, however, can be avoided in your own writing.

The Need To Change The “Flawed” One

Nobody in this world is perfect. Expecting the person you supposedly love to be flawless all the time is not realistic. People make mistakes. People are not always happy and bubbly and confident about themselves. People do not always act the same one day as they did the day before. Human beings are flawed and should be portrayed as such, especially in the stage of their life which is the most confusing and scary. Teenagers are underdeveloped human beings, and for some reason, teenager girls in YA Romance expect teenage boys to be charming and loving and never ever make a mistake, which is ridiculous. Creating love interests that appear flawless and can make no mistakes is detrimental to your audience. It raises your readers’ expectations to an unattainable level which causes them disappointment and might cause their future partners unrepairable damage to their self-esteem because they’ll think that in order to find a partner, they cannot be flawed and cannot make mistakes.

Glorification Of Illegal Activity

It’s not “cool” or “edgy” to pump yourself full of deadly and mind-altering substances you know absolutely nothing about. It doesn’t make you “badass” and it isn’t a personality trait unless that trait is stupid. Whatever your position is on drugs or alcohol or whatever, there is no excuse for putting the idea in the heads of young readers that doing things that are illegal and addictive and that might even get you killed is ok. Not only because most of your readers are younger than 21, but because it will always be dangerous to take drugs, commit crimes, and drink. Your choices are your choices. Don’t impose your habits and excuses on kids who don’t know any better.

Slut Shaming

News flash: it’s 2017, people. Nobody cares who you’re kissing or dating or having sex with. People are finally getting used to the idea that maybe, just maybe, it’s not the end of the world if you do whatever you want, as long as you’re not hurting yourself or anyone else. This recurring theme of “I hate this person because they do what they want with their body” is getting old and annoying. Believe what you will regarding religion and morals and what is right or wrong or whatever you want to believe in, but the second you start turning your story into a commentary on the decisions and beliefs of other people, you’re in the wrong. There are other, more creative reasons to make your characters hate each other than their sexual activity.

Forgetting The First Times

One of the most exciting parts of being a teenager is that everything you’re experiencing, you’re experiencing for the first time. Everything is confusing and exciting and 10x more painful or memorable or enjoyable, and that’s neglected all the time in YA. I don’t mean the common trope of the first kiss or the losing of virginity. I mean love and infatuation and loss and heartbreak; it’s all happening to them for the first time in their lives, and these events make up their memories that they will carry with them forever. Teenage years are incredibly heavy times for people. It is, after all, the years in which they learn the most and the fastest and where the majority of their brain development takes place. These moments that you’re writing, the first kiss, the first time having sex, the first time your character loses someone they love, they’re all going to determine how your character will develop in the future. Treat them that way. Teach young readers that it’s normal and perfectly okay to be scared and inexperienced and lost. That’s the bitter-sweet part of youth and it’s beautiful.

Bad Boys And Boring Girls

Bad Boys are, in reality, bad news. The real “bad boys” in this world are slimy, manipulative jerks who trick girls (usually more than one at a time) into thinking they have feelings for them, using them for things like sex or money, and then either end up controlling their entire lives, introducing drugs and problems, or breaking their hearts. It’s sad, but it’s reality. Yes, there’s always a cause for this behavior, and sometimes these bad boys grow out of it, but that’s not always the case. Portraying these bad boys as “changeable” is not only dangerous for the female readers but also the men in their future. If you make girls think that they can change whomever they’re with to be the perfect prince charming, they will never be satisfied with someone who is flawed (spoiler alert: everyone is flawed) and they may destroy the self-esteem of whoever they’re with by making them think they need to change to be lovable.

Boring Girls are, sort of, connected to bad boys in this sense. They show up in every story, which makes sense financially because authors who make more relatable main characters sell more books. It’s just demographics. But at the same time, this stretch for a wider audience can end up influencing girls’ expectations of themselves and their love lives. If you make every protagonist completely boring, compliant, and devoid of strong, defining traits, girls will take that as advice. They will learn that all a girl has to do to make people fall in love with them is sit quietly and be pretty, which is horrible, in case you hadn’t noticed. Teach girls to look up to strong characters with rich personalities. Nowadays, that counts as an original idea.

Generalization

Portraying every aspect of teenage life and teenagers themselves as if you opened a book full of cliches, closed your eyes and pointed at something is not ok. High schools and families and personalities are different wherever you go, and making blind generalizations about aspects of teenage life can not only change how your reader interprets their own lives, but how adult readers assume teenage life is when they’re not around. It is important to not reinforce the assumption that there is always a popular clique and mean jocks and awkward nerds and dead-beat stoners because these stereotypes are a way for people to justify their snap-judgements, and not only does that say a lot about you as an author, but that will breed a whole new generation of judgmental, close-minded people.

Glorification Of Unhealthy Relationship Behaviors

I’m gonna say this once: It is not “hot” to have the love interest constantly putting restrictions on their supposed loved one. It’s not okay to borderline stalk someone and use “I love you” as an excuse, even if the person reciprocates your feelings. It is unhealthy to ignore someone when they say “no, no, not now” or “no, stop, not here” when you’re in the middle of initiating sex or even just kissing. It is disgusting when romance, especially YA Romance, which has mostly young, impressionable readers taking in your messages, promotes these behaviors like they’re something to strive for. Like it or not, your writing is going to alter the way they imagine a “perfect” relationship. If you aren’t willing to take that responsibility seriously, you should not be writing YA, and especially not YA Romance.

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[emilialuciasantos]

Is This a Date? (Part 1) || Emilia x Lola

Where: Santa Monica, CA

When: February 25, 2021

Featuring: Lola Siciliani (dialogue provided by Frenchie @lola-siciliani), Blaine Valentine, Ace Wong

Triggers: Mention of hospitalization, mental health (anxiety, body image issues), mention of abortion, mention of bullying

Emilia pulled up to Lola's apartment and texted her that she was outside. She needed to see Lola after the day she had in the ICU. As she waited, she answered a few OnlyFans DMs. People really wanted her attention tonight. She had no idea why though. It was only Thursday. She usually only posted new content on the weekends. The last message she had to send was to Lollypop12, a kind mutual who she had been chatting with a lot. Lollypop12 reminded her of Lola so much, but of course she wouldn't ask Lola if she had an account. The last thing Emilia wanted to do was make her uncomfortable. Before she could finish writing the message, she spotted Lola walking up to the car.

Lola was immersed into her book when she received a text message. For a moment, she had quickly glanced, thinking it was AJ, but when it buzzed again, her eyes lit up seeing that it was Emilia. She went to double check to see if she received any word from lucylovexox, but she was probably busy...there was something that seemed familiar about her, but she was just glad that she had made a friend. Slamming her book shut, she ran to her mirror to make sure her hair wasn't too out of place and scurried out the door to meet up with Emilia. She might've nearly tripped down the stairs on her way out, but luckily, it didn't appear like Emilia noticed as she waved at her approaching the car. "Hey!"

Emilia unlocked the door for her, asking, "Hey! How's your day going?" She had a rough day, but seeing Lola made her day almost instantly better. "I just gotta answer this text real quick, then we can go get dinner." The text was actually the OnlyFans DM she was writing, but she wasn't going to admit that out loud. Word spread fast in their city, and her career would be ruined before it even began. She typed out "Goddamn, you are killing it! 🥵🥵🥵" and hit send before shoving her phone into her jacket pocket.

Lola hopped into the car and grinned, "Besides nearly falling asleep in chemistry class, it's going pretty damn great, what about you?" She asked curiously. Just like that, Lola's energy practically zapped her back to life and she wasn't feeling so sluggish anymore. "Oh, no worries, take your time," Lola pointed out with a smile as she nodded her head along to the radio, not saying anything to make sure Emilia was focused on the text. That was until her phone made the ding sound and she went to check to see who it was. AJ typically had the worst timing until she saw none other than lucylovexox and her heart dropped. There was no way.

“Better now. I was put in the ICU today for clinicals... it was rough.” The ICU was never a pleasant place to be. It didn’t help that she knew one of her patients. She didn’t know him well, but he was related to Blaine and had done her and her mother’s tattoos. She was ready to start the car, but then heard the ding. She froze like a deer in headlights. This had to be a coincidence.

“That, does not sound fun. I’m so sorry,” Lola frowned. “I’ll buy you an appetizer for your troubles tonight?” She offered with a smile. She couldn’t imagine how hard it was for Emilia between navigating the ICU for clinicals and still managing to make her way to see her...but Lola was grateful and she’d try to repay her as best as she could. Of course right now she wanted to quickly rebound and say, “Oh it’s probably my brother,” She chuckled to lighten the mood. As she checked her phone she could feel the heat rising to her cheeks and her ears as she responded, “That one was specifically for you 🥰🥰🥰” And all she could do now was hold her breath, and hope, the phone next to her wasn’t going to buzz.

“Aww, you’re too sweet. You don’t have to do that though.” She couldn’t get over how nice Lola was to her. Sure, her friends were nice to her, but Lola went above and beyond compared to most of them. She started up the car then felt her phone vibrate. One buzz, followed by a double buzz. One of those was definitely a text from Blaine, who had been bothering her all day about his maternal family. The other, she wasn’t sure about, but was scared to find out. She bit the bullet and looked. A text and an OnlyFans notification. She had to turn off notifications for OF one of these days. “Sorry, Blaine’s been texting me all day about family stuff.” That wasn’t a lie, but not the whole truth either. “I’ll answer him back later. You can change the station or put your own music on the aux if you want.”

“Yup, I do. It’s law. Bad days require amazing appetizers,” Lola grinned brightly at Emilia. It was at that moment she could hear her siblings in her head saying ‘welcome to the club’ and ‘it’s about goddamn time’ about her feeling her own feelings again. There was just something about Emilia that just made everything feel okay again. However, the buzz brought her mind back down to earth and that, got her heart racing, but then, it was followed by another buzz. Okay, it wasn’t, Emilia. Even though lucylovexox seemed so familiar and comfortable to talk to, there was no way it was Emilia. “Oh, is everything okay?” She asked curiously. Even though she and Blaine had a stand-off last time, she knew Emilia cared about her step-brother, and if she was worried, Lola would be worried too. “Don’t worry about it,” she chuckled. “I love this song actually. It’s been stuck in my head since I first heard it, actually.”

“Oh is it now?” she asked, a small smirk forming on her face. However, thinking about her day and the possibility of her alter ego being discovered brought her back to reality. She sighed before answering, “Don’t go spreading this around, but one of Blaine’s maternal cousins went into the hospital last night. Overdose. He’s in the ICU, and since I happened to be in the ICU today, it became my job to update them all on his condition on top of, you know, working. And now Blaine’s just complaining about how his relatives are irritating him.” With the car still in park, she opened up her phone to look at the notifications. She sent Blaine a quick “you’ll be aight” text, then went back to the DMs. Lollypop12, of course, came up first, followed by a man called GregT143. Greg was obsessed with her, or rather, with Lucy. She didn’t have the mental energy to answer either though, so she exited the app, put her phone in the cup holder, and started to drive.

"It is, I said so," She wiggled her eyebrows at the green-eyed girl. Lola had to push the thought from her head that Emilia was potentially lucylovexox--mostly because they became pretty acquainted with each other and she'd probably wouldn't know how to handle herself without being a flustered mess. At Emilia's confession, she did something she hardly ever did with people, she put a careful reassuring hand on Emilia's shoulder. "Don't worry, it'll be between us. I'm sorry you have to deal with all of that, though. I can't even imagine how much of a headache that must be. I'm here for you though. If you want to like...vent and stuff," She offered with a lop-sided smile. Once she realized what she did she carefully inched her hand away back to her lap and took a breath. "So, um, this is...completely random, but earlier today my Nonna gave me a play by play of my old neighbors back home fighting. They fight every Thursday over a different topic each and every time and this week, they were screaming in the street about laundry."

Why was Lola so nice? Why did her hand on her shoulder make her heart flutter? Why did someone as cool and confident as Lola even give her the time of day? All of these thoughts, the thumping beat of Rihanna’s “Where Have You Been,” and the fact that her phone buzzed five times in a row  (all messages from Greg, of course) made it hard for Emilia to focus on the road. As Lola recalled the story her Nonna told her, Emilia abruptly pulled over and put the car in park. After turning the volume on the radio down to zero, she sat in silence for a moment, forehead pressed against the steering wheel, before apologizing. “I’m sorry... sorry... I just, I got overwhelmed. Sorry.” She felt like she was ruining the evening before it even began.

As Lola wrapped up the story with a, "Apparently you can't put orange with white because everything turns peach--" She kept hearing the buzzes coming from the cup holder and as much as she tried to not look, her eyes quickly glanced and saw the OF notifications and her heart fell straight down into her stomach as her eyes quickly went back to Emilia's as the car was suddenly pulled over. "Hey, hey," Lola unbuckled her seatbelt to scoot closer to Emilia, her hand lightly going over to her head, to turn the green eyed girl towards her. "Em, it's okay. I'm here."

“There’s too... much... happening!” she yelled, bursting into tears. Emilia was overwhelmed. She didn’t know why this was all hitting her now, but it was, and it was hitting her like a semi truck. She yanked her seatbelt off and buried her face into Lola’s shoulder. The fact that she was being so soft and comforting only made Emilia bawl harder. Then her phone buzzed again. This time it was a double buzz, a text message. The text was from Blaine and it said, “I know. I’m sorry everyone was bothering you. Thank you for your help today. Babciu and Kieran really appreciated it.” She didn’t want to read any of her messages at the moment, so she looked up to the blue-eyed girl and asked, “Could you please put my phone on airplane mode? The passcode is 0506.” 0506. May 6th, her mother’s birthday.

If there was one thing that Lola couldn't handle, it was emotion, but somehow, somewhere in the back of her head, she knew exactly what to do as she pulled Emilia into a tight hug, and rubbed her back in a soothing circle. "Just breathe, Emilia," She whispered softly. She couldn't imagine what was going through Emilia's head, being completely overwhelmed and overloaded, like the weight of the world was on her shoulders. All Lola could do was hold her tight to keep her together, to let her know she was here to hold her up. At Emilia's request, she nodded silently and typed in the passcode, ignoring all the texts and notifications as the phone was put into airplane mode. She set the phone back into the cup holder, and carefully went to cup Emilia's face, her thumbs wiping her tears. "Let's just take a moment for you to be in silence, that way you're not surrounded by a major sensory overload, okay?" She said, her voice was barely above a whisper. "I got you. I'm not going anywhere. Just take a moment."

A wave of relief washed over her once her phone was turned off. No more insane buzzing, no more horny incels or annoying brothers. It was just Emilia, Lola, and the low rumble of Emilia’s car engine. “Thanks... and sorry again. Can you repeat what you said before about your Nonna and the laundry? I didn’t fully understand you.”

Seeing Emilia pull herself back together was strength, in Lola's opinion. She was definitely having a day and she'd do her best to make it just a little better, if all else failed. "No need to apologize, I get it," She reassured the other brunette with a reassuring grin. "Oh, um," She chuckled awkwardly. "My Nonna likes to give me a play by play on my neighbors arguing every week and this week it was about laundry, and why you shouldn't put anything orange into a pile of whites."

Emilia sniffled, using her jacket sleeve to wipe her eyes. “Still. You have your own stuff to worry about. You don’t need my stuff too.” She often felt bad about bothering people with her emotional problems, even when she was confiding in someone she wholeheartedly trusted. She didn’t want to come off as whiny or annoying. “Huh, no orange and white. I’ve never had an issue with mixing whites and colors, but I’ll try to keep that in mind.”

"Sometimes we can't handle everything on our own, Em," Lola pointed out. "It's okay to lean on someone you can trust. I don't mind at all," She reassured her with a grin. All she wanted to do was pull Emilia into a hug again, but she definitely didn't want to go overboard...especially because she enjoyed hugging her. "Neither have I," She laughed lightly. "Honestly, I think they just have detergent that makes their clothes bleed, but I didn't tell Nonna that because those neighbors were like a telenovela just unraveling every week."

“Thanks again,” she said softly, leaning her head back on Lola’s shoulder. She wanted, no needed, another hug. It made her feel safe. Lola made her feel safe, amongst other things. “Yeah, it does sound like they have bad detergent. If you want to hear about a real-life telenovela, you should hear about my Uncle Luis’ love life.”

"Any time," Lola grinned. When Emilia's head went to Lola's shoulder, she couldn't resist wrapping her arms around her once more, just completely taking in the moment. She wanted to keep her safe, as much as she hated admitting to herself that she felt strongly for Emilia. "They really do. I'm gonna guess it's like AJAX or something?" She chuckled. "Oooh, you gotta tell me. How bad as it," She asked curiously. Then, she did something she didn't think she'd ever do: she carefully brushed a random piece of hair behind Emilia's ear.

Emilia closed her eyes, sighing softly. She hadn’t fully calmed down yet, but she was starting to. “Oh, it’s really bad. I should probably start by saying that he’s awful and no one in the family likes him. So he dated this woman when I was about ten or eleven, cheated on her with her twin sister, and got both of them pregnant.” She felt her cheeks blush when Lola touched her hair. She hated how much of a blusher she was, especially around her. She also hated how much she wanted to make out.

Lola hoped that Emilia was starting to feel better and was letting the weight lift off her shoulders, even if it was for a bit. "We all have a relative like that in our family, right?" She smirked until her eyes widened at the story. Now that, was pretty damn messy. "Wow...um...huh," She chuckled, shaking her head. "Okay, I just have one question: did they wind up having twins on their own too or...I'm just mildly curious on the outcome of all that, don't mind me," She waved off casually. She noticed Emilia's blush right off the bat. Frankly, it reminded her of the first day she met, except this time...she was fighting the urge of not instantly moving in to kiss her.

“Oh, well, one didn’t end up having any babies, and the other gave hers up for adoption. Just a single birth. I hope that kid’s doing alright.” She didn’t have any more information on that situation, but she did know that Luis had at least four other kids he wasn’t paying child support for. After finishing her story, she sat up and put her seatbelt back on. Her brain was still rebooting from the panic attack, but if she didn’t start driving now, she feared she might do something she’d regret. “Okay, I think I’m okay to drive now. You mind if I keep the radio off though?”

"Woo...I don't blame either of their decisions, honestly. I can't imagine how heartbreaking and rough that must've been. Definitely telenovela status," Lola nodded with a bewildered look for a moment. When Emilia sat back up, Lola went to grab her seatbelt to put it back on again. At least now things were back to normal...well, her mind was still reeling from all that had happened and the fact she had just done the thing and had to restrain herself. "Awesome! I'm ready!" She grinned and then followed up with, "Not at all, we can talk or drive in silence, whichever's more comfortable for you."

“Yeah, that was a particularly bad Luis story. I probably shouldn’t have known about that as a child, but I did.” It was because she and her mom always lived in tiny apartments and Emilia often eavesdropped on telephone conversations between her mom and Abuela. “I’m okay with talking.” As she drove, she didn’t do much of the talking. She preferred listening to what Lola had to say.

"You know I feel like when we have women in our family that love spilling tea, we're bound to know the wrong thing at a young age, you know?" Lola chuckled. "I definitely get it. The things my mom and Nonna, and Aunt Connie would talk about would be wild," She added on with a silly grin. "Okay, we can do that," She nodded. "Well, if you want to talk about family drama, well the current family drama is that my older sister hates my brother's girlfriend because she stands in solidarity with her best friend...who slept with my brother's girlfriend's ex-boyfriend...who also just so happens to be my brother's best friend."

“No one really told me stuff, I was just a nosy kid,” she explained, chuckling. “But now that I’m an adult, I get included in the conversation. Abuela looooves talking shit over the phone.” Emilia’s eyes nearly bulged out of her head when Lola talked about her family drama, not only because of how obscure this story was, but also because she remembered this story. “Shit, I think I heard about that on Gossip God!”

”That’s the best part. The eavesdropping. Did you ever hold the cup to your ear while your mom was in the other room??” She asked curiously. “YES!!!! Isn’t it great. Especially cause they think you won’t say anything. You become the new bearer of secrets,” She giggled. At Emilia’s expression, Lola laughed and nodded. “Because it was broadcasted on Gossip God. My brother and my sister’s best friend were wrapped up in alll of that. I mean, as much as Ivy wants me to hate Lydia, I’m curious about her and personally I just want to see her point of view and then determine from there. My mom agrees.”

"I never had to. Thin walls plus loud mom equaled perfect eavesdropping opportunities. She always gets mad at me when I tell her that she's loud, but then will yell at me to come downstairs for dinner at a volume loud enough to be heard down the block." She laughed at her own joke. Paula, whether she admitted or not, was a loud-mouth. "I'm a pretty good bearer of secrets, if I do say so myself. Except I do tell my mom most things. Like, I'd say about 90% of stuff." Of course she had her own secrets that she kept from her mom, but not too many. Just those involving sex work. "Honestly, I think you should get to know her on your own. Maybe it's one big misunderstanding. You won't know unless you do your own investigation. It reminds me of a law quote Blaine told me. 'There are three sides to every story: the plaintiff's side, the defendant's side, and the truth.'"

Lola giggled at Emilia's description of her mom. In fact, she could relate. Elena Siciliani was definitely one of those moms. "Ugh, lucky you...although I can relate with the loud-mouthed mom, until it came down to sharing gossip. I think our moms might get along honestly. Loud moms always flock together and you can hear them coming miles away," She shook her head as she explained through laughter. "That makes two of us then, huh? Although, let's be real, sometimes the secrets are just burning you have no choice but to tell your mom, y'know? Then they totally understand." It was often something that Lola did, often, although sometimes if it was too wild, she'd have to tell Ivy. "I think so too," She nodded in agreement and then tilted her head at Blaine's law quote. "That's...actually really insightful. I'll definitely have to keep that quote in my pocket. Thanks for that, Em."

“You think so?” Emilia thought her mom needed more mom friends. After Emilia fell out with her childhood best friend, Paula lost a lot of her mom friends. While she got along with Ace’s mom, they came from two totally different worlds and didn’t have a lot in common. “Oh yeah, totally. We bicker sometimes, but at the end of the day, she’s my best friend.” If there was one person Emilia could rely on no matter what, it was her mother. She was starting to get to that level of trust with her step family, but wasn’t quite there yet. “Oh no problem,” she said as she pulled into the restaurant’s parking lot.

"Definitely! My mom's loud and friendly to anyone she meets. Anyone. It's a pain because she always gets stopped at supermarkets because she's so extroverted and I'll be like 'ma...we gotta go'. Every time," She reassured Emilia. Hopefully their moms could be friends somewhere down the road...especially with how much Lola's been rattling her head off to the woman back home. "I love that for you both," She said with a bright smile. Lola was blessed to have not just her mother, but her older siblings too. Throughout the bickering, the fighting, she had them. So, she could relate to just Emilia and her mom, cause sometimes, that's all you ever needed. "So," She clapped her hands quietly, but excitedly, "I am so hype to try out this spot."

“That happens to my step-dad too. He just knows everyone!” Her mom was extroverted, but not as much as George. Emilia didn’t mind as much, but Blaine absolutely hated it. It’s why Emilia helped out with groceries more than he did. “Well I’d love to meet your mom one of these days, and I’m sure my mom would too.” She wondered how much Lola’s mom knew about her. Paula had heard quite a bit about Lola, and Gossip God filled in the rest of the blanks for her. She hated how accurate that blog was. She pulled into a spot, put the car in park, and turned the car off. “My personal favorite are the chicken tacos. I hear the fish tacos are good too, but I’ve never had them. I can try them, but only once.”

"Isn't it so daunting?! Like they get stopped literally everywhere!" Lola laughed at the thought of it. Often times, she'd joke that her mom was like the mayor or the president. Just always shaking hands and having very long conversations. "Definitely! I think she's coming down for March Madness or spring break, I gotta double check with her first, but I'll definitely let you know when he's in town," She reassured her with a smile. "Oooh, chicken tacos sound amazing right now. Especially with the green salsa," She sighed at the mention of the fish taco, she thought about it for a second. I can try them, but only once. "Wait a sec," She shook her head with a chuckle. "Are you allergic to fish?"

“Right? Sometimes I feel like my mom married the freaking Governor!” She laughed about it, but George could go into politics if he wanted to, and he’d probably be very good at it. Emilia’s eyes widened as she realized that she never told Lola about her allergy. “Crustacean shellfish,” she elaborated. “I never really had shellfish growing up because we couldn’t afford it. I tried shrimp and stuff a few times, but I didn’t realize I was having an allergic reaction and just thought it tasted bad. I didn’t actually know I was allergic until I graduated high school and tried lobster for the first time at my high school graduation dinner.” Worst dinner party ever.

"Exactly! It's like at this point, just run for office! Between your step-dad and my mom, they'd win the presidency/vice presidency for sure," Lola laughed at the thought of it for a moment. "Oh...that sounds incredibly terrifying and horrible," She shook her head in shock. "Rest assured, I'm not really a big fan of shellfish, like at all, my family doesn't really eat it cause ma's allergic, so, you won't die at Sunday dinner," She teased, and realized what she just implied...and then frankly she didn't care because she liked Emilia. "And yes, you're invited to Sunday dinner."

“Now that would be a sight to see.” Emilia wasn’t sure if she would ever want George to run for office, as he was, unfortunately, a libertarian. “Yeah, not fun times, which is why I generally avoid mixed seafood platters and fried foods at restaurants. Did you know that restaurants tend to fry everything in the same oil?” She didn’t know that until she was an adult. “I mean, if you did want to, I wouldn’t stop you, so long as you don’t kiss me on the mouth after.” Emilia realized after she spoke what she was implying, and once again, her face was red. “Uh... anyways, let’s go eat!”

"It really would huh?" Lola grinned, scrunching her nose up cutely at Emilia. "I don't blame you at all, that sounds terrify--wait what?" Her eyes widened in shock. This was the first time she had ever heard about food being fried in the same oil. "I--wow--that's--huh," She was pretty much speechless for a moment about the food until her ears perked up at Emilia's next statement. "Let's be real, if I were to kiss you on the mouth, I definitely wouldn't eat fried food or seafood. Maybe something sweet like, candy or fruit," She pointed out with a smirk. She was definitely being blunt now. "I mean, um, yeah, definitely, let's go!" She nodded in agreement, biting her bottom lip nervously, hoping to the high heavens that she didn't blow it.

“Mhm.” Emilia smiled at Lola’s cute little scrunched-nose expression. She wanted to take a picture and keep it forever, but didn’t do that because she knew that would be a weird thing to do. “Yeah. When you have a lot of food to make, it’s just easier to fry everything together. Not all places do it, but a lot of big places do, like diners and chain restaurants.” Emilia’s heart skipped a beat when Lola talked about kissing her. And biting her lip after? Was Lola trying to kill her? Her heart was pushing her to make a move before it was too late, so she did. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against the other girl’s. As soon as she did, however, her brain screamed at her to stop. ‘What the hell are you doing? Why would you do that? She doesn’t actually like you. Stop now! STOP NOW!!’ She listened to her brain, retreated, and apologized. “I-I’m sorry... I-I don’t know what came over me...”

Lola couldn't help but smile at Emilia's smile. She really did have the prettiest smile, and sure, it might make her a simp but she would go through hell and high water to make sure that girl smiled. God, she was hopeless. "That sounds so gross. That cross contamination sounds so deadly I just...ew. I can't," She made a sour face and shook her head for a moment. When her gaze met Emilia's, she could feel her own blush coming on starting from her cheeks and ending at her ears. At this point she just wanted to hide her face within her shirt, maybe behind her jean jacket if she could, but, suddenly, Emilia's lips were on her lips, and they were so soft but before she could even reciprocate it back, the other girl pulled back. And Lola, was bewildered. "No don't!" She quickly blurted out. "I um," She put her hand to her own lips and smiled a little, "Can we...do that again?"

Oh God, she actually did that. The brunette’s brain was moving a hundred miles per second. ‘That was a terrible idea. She doesn’t realize how much of a broken mess you are. No one wants to be with a broken mess.’ Once more, Emilia felt the need to apologize. “Sorry. It’s just... the things you were saying and way you were looking at me made me think maybe— wait did you just ask if we could do that again?”

Lola’s mind was running a mile a minute. Mostly it was an internal scream that Emilia had just kissed her. One part of her told her no, we’re not going back down this route again! but the other part of her...the other part of her was much louder and much softer. That part of her would never get tired of kissing Emilia. Her brow furrowed at Emilia’s apology, her assumptions were right, Lola was indeed flirting with the beautiful green eyed girl. “You don’t need to apologize,” She giggled softly. “And yeah, I did. I liked it,” she bit her lip nervously and then said, “I’ve been flirting this whole time, because I like the way your cheeks get all rosy and your smile gets all bashful. I think you’re really pretty—no—drop-dead gorgeous. And I wouldn’t mind kissing you all the time.”

You don't need to apologize. She repeated that to herself in her brain. You don't need to apologize. She heard it in her therapist's voice. Her therapist was constantly telling her that she didn't need to apologize to everyone for everything, that the feelings she felt were normal and valid. Maybe her therapist had a point. Hearing Lola say that she enjoyed the kiss and that she had been flirting with her brought a smile to Emilia's face, but part of her still didn't believe Lola. Emilia's mind was constantly in flux between 'you're awful and ugly and nobody will love you' and 'you're hot shit, but people will only ever love you for your body.' Right now she was stuck on the former. "Are you sure?" she asked, softly.

Lola could tell the situation was intensifying between them two, so carefully, she reached out to put a hand on Emilia's cheek to reassure her. She had to admit, she was a sucker for her, despite her own past heartache, but she had a glimmer of hope. Maybe she wouldn't be hidden this time, maybe she wouldn't have to hold her hand under the table. Maybe, just maybe, she could be out in the open with Emilia. She hoped so, at least. Carefully she leaned in closer and nodded, "I'm more than sure," She smiled. "I like you, Emilia."

She leaned into Lola’s touch, melting like a puddle in her hand. Why someone as cool as Lola liked someone like Emilia was beyond her comprehension. But being close to her like this felt nice, and she wanted to get even closer, physically and emotionally. “I like you too... So does that make this a date?”

It was official, Lola was indeed a simp and her siblings would give her the utmost shit about it...and she didn’t care. Emilia was the sweetest person she had come across, someone who could pull a smile from her constant rbf, she was someone who reminded her what it was like to feel a heartbeat. Her smile grew at Emilia’s confession and all she wanted to do was kiss her right then and there, but she decided to just lean in, and let her nose touch the other girl’s as she whispered, “It can be, if you want it to.”

“In that case, it’s a date... We should probably get this food before all the seats fill up.” As much as she wanted to stay here and enjoy this moment, she was starving. “Or I guess we could get it to go, if worse comes to worst.” As she sat up, she caught a glimpse of herself in the rear view mirror and realized how disheveled she looked. “Oh God, I hope you weren’t going to really let me go into the restaurant looking like this,” she said, reaching back to grab her purse. She had cried about half of her makeup off while panicking and wasn’t going to go out in public without fixing it. “Could you go in and grab us a table?”

“Great! It’s a date!” Lola echoed with a grin. “And um yeah because the last thing I had today was left over lasagna...for lunch,” she emphasized with a groan. She was definitely starving. “Let’s see if there are tables first and then if push comes to shove then we can get it to go and eat it at my place?” She offered with a smile. At Emilia’s comment, Lola shook her head with a chuckle, “Of course not, I would’ve definitely stopped you, but, I still think you look pretty,” She pointed out with a more bashful smile. At the request, she nodded and gave Emilia a quick kiss on the cheek before she went to unbuckle her seatbelt and hopped out the car. She was practically skipping with excitement as she made her way inside.

Once Lola was out of the car, Emilia screamed in excitement. She took her phone off of airplane mode and called Ace to let him know about the good news. She put him on speaker and told him everything that had happened in the car as she reapplied her eye makeup. She was over the moon, and Ace was just as excited for her. Once she looked presentable, she ended the call and entered the restaurant.

Lola was on cloud 9 as she made her way inside giddily asking for a table. She had gushed to the hostess about having her first date tonight with a pretty girl in which, suddenly she was being seated at her table. She thanked the woman and took a seat, quickly texting AJ and Ivy, “Guess I’m joining the club,” and then waited for Emilia, her heart, was officially racing.

Emilia stared at her phone for a moment before entering the restaurant. She knew she had messages to answer, but she didn’t feel like doing it. It dawned on her that Lola most likely saw at least one OnlyFans notification when she turned her phone off for her earlier, and that she had quite a bit of explaining to do. She would cross that bridge later though, when they weren’t in public. She sent Blaine a quick text, stating “no prob, ttyl” before going on airplane mode once more. She wanted to give Lola all of her attention. The hostess graciously showed her to the table where Lola was seated.

Lola could feel the adrenaline rushing through her and it almost felt like electricity in her veins, in the best way possible, of course. When she got a few texts back, mostly from AJ, because she knew Ivy was working, she quickly shot back texts doing her best to explain in few words before responding “I’ll call you later”, when she noticed Emilia approaching and quickly pocketed her phone. Gosh, she’s so pretty... she thought to herself quietly and then responded, “Well, long time no see, stranger,” She teased.

Emilia was excited, but also incredibly nervous. Why did she have to say the date thing? Now the stakes felt so much higher. There was a big chance that she would severely screw things up. But maybe something really good could come out of this. “I’m sorry, who are you?” she asked, clearly joking.

As much as she felt that the whole date thing would mean a little more pressure, Lola reminded herself to make it as enjoyable as possible, even if it was awkward. "Wooow, you wound me, Emilia!" She teased, putting a hand over her own heart in a dramatic fashion. "So, I have a proposition for you, that way it takes a little bit of weight of your shoulders."

She giggled at Lola’s response to her joke. “And the Oscar goes to Lola Siciliani!” She hung her jacket up on the back of the chair and took a seat, immediately reaching for the bowl of tortilla chips on the table. She was thankful for free restaurant chips. She raised a brow when Lola spoke. “A proposition? What kind of proposition are you talking about?”

“I’d like to give a big middle finger to the academy and a shout out to this gorgeous gal back home...” Lola teased with a giggle. She went to try to steal a chip from Emilia as she nodded at the other girl’s question. “Okay, so, I know this is the first date, but, what if we just say it’s a casual first date, so that way it kinda takes the edge off y’know? Like—we don’t have to sit and try to impress each other because we’re just here to have a good time, no matter what the outcome.”

"Damn, what'd the Academy do to you?" she asked, laughing. "When you say back home, do you mean here or is there someone in Chicago I should know about?" Emilia was sure there were plenty of gorgeous girls in Chicago, maybe some that Lola had dated. Now that she was thinking about it, she realized that she really didn't know anything about Lola's dating history. That would be a question for later. "I like the idea of a casual first date... I think I'd like to do the 'getting to know you' part of a date though, because there's still a bunch of little things I don't know about you yet, and I'd like to."

"Oh you know, snub all my favorite actors," Lola laughed along with her and then snorted at Emilia's remark. "Well, I'm starting to consider Santa Monica as a second home and the only pretty girl I know is sitting right across from me," She added, batting her eyelashes cutely at the other girl. "Then back home I got my ma, Nonna, and Aunt Connie," She added with a grin. She realized there'd be more that the two of them would talk about between growing up in their hometowns to the infamous dating history. She was ready--sort of. "Awesome! And yeah, we can do that, get to know the deep dark secrets and all," She teased. "I could take the plunge and start or, would you like to have the floor first?" She asked curiously, resting her chin on the palm of her hand.

There it was again. She felt her face warming up. She hadn't even been in this restaurant for two minutes, yet Lola was already making her flustered. Getting complimented by pretty girls was truly her Kryptonite. "Oh hush. I can't be the only pretty girl you've met. There are literal models who live here!" Emilia hadn't met any personally, but she knew they were out there. Her heart dropped to her stomach at the mention of deep dark secrets. Emilia would have to talk about her 'side hustle' eventually. She told herself this only moments ago, but she still wasn't ready. What if Lola judged Emilia for what she did? Or worse, what if she told other people? "Umm... were you in any clubs or sports teams in high school?" That was an easy enough question.

"Pink's definitely your color," Lola began teasingly. "Just look at how cute you look when you get all flustered," She said, wiggling her eyebrows at Emilia with a big grin. "Okay, so? That doesn't make you any less prettier than any of the models here. You're gorgeous and if you weren't sitting across from me I'd probably squish your face--and that's rare," She admitted aloud. She was so going to kick herself for that comment. "I played soccer and was in the science club," She admitted with a grin. "What about you?"

“Stooooop,” she whined, hiding her face behind her hands. “It might be one of my favorite colors, but not on my face.” She took a few deep breaths, trying not to get overwhelmed. Then it hit her. She thought to herself, don’t think like Emilia, think like Lucy. “That’s too kind of you. But you could squish my face if you really wanted to, like...” She reached across the table and squeezed one of Lola’s cheeks. “Like that.” She smirked at the other girl. “I did choir all throughout high school and I was in stage crew for a few of the school plays. Oh, and GSA. Ace convinced me to start going to that in junior year.”

Lola giggled at Emilia whining and hiding behind her hands. She had a feeling she could get used to moments like these, except she hated there was a table between them because she’d be all over, kissing those cute flustered cheeks. “Well, I think it’s so cute,” She smiled scrunching her nose up at her. Then, the tables were turned when Emilia went to squish Lola’s cheek and she laughed feeling her own face slowly begin to turn pink. “Well...” She cleared her throat, hiding her own face for a moment and suppressing a fit of giggles. “You’re on!” She said as she reached over with both hands to squish Lola’s cheeks and then said, “Hey, why don’t we switch it up and you can sit next to me instead or I could go and slide over next to you?” She offered. “Really?” Her eyes widened in awe at the other girl’s clubs. “Do you still sing? What plays did you get to do? And hey! Wait, Ace? Museum guy Ace?—sorry that was a lot of questions, don’t mind me I got excited.”

A wide smile formed on Emilia's face once she wasn't the only one blushing. "Well well, how the tables have turned," she teased. "You see, I would move over, but then you would be squishing my cheeks all night long." She paused, trying to think of the answers to all of her questions. "It's okay. So, one, I sing for fun when I'm by myself in my room and in the car, but that's really it. Two, I helped with set design and stage makeup for Hairspray and Little Shop of Horrors. Three, probably, yeah. He basically lives at Bergamot when he's not at work." She took her phone out of her pocket and pulled up her photos, handing it over to show Lola a recent selfie of her and Ace. "That's him. We've been best friends since he moved here in freshman year of high school."

"This is a cruel fate," Lola said in between laughs as she tried using her hands to cover up her cheek. "Is that such a crime to give you some affection?" She asked, batting her eyelashes cutely at Emilia with the most innocent of smiles. "Let me guess, you're one of those shy singers that sound insanely good, right?" She asked with genuine curiosity. "Wow, I gotta say, I'm pretty impressed," Lola grinned. At the picture her eyes widened. "Holy shit, what a small world! I actually ran into him at the museum actually. We were talking about Botticelli's Venus painting and the alphabet mafia."

"Yes, yes it is," she joked back. "I, uh, no. I don't think I'm that good. I never got solos or anything like that. I'm just a plain old alto." As per usual, Emilia wasn't giving herself enough credit. The main reason why she never got solos in choir was because she didn't kiss the choir teacher's ass like some of her classmates. "Oh yeah! He told me about that. I, uh, may have mentioned you to him a few times..." By 'a few times,' she meant 'more times than she wanted to admit.' At this point, Emilia could only assume that Ace was tired of hearing about her not-so-hopeless-anymore crush. When the waiter came over to take their orders, Emilia greeted the familiar face and immediately started making small talk with him in Spanish.

"Well, consider me a criminal then," Lola reached over to go lightly squeeze Emilia's cheek with a grin. "Really? Hm...I'd ask you to try me right now, but I don't want you to feel uncomfortable but, if you ever want to, I'd want to hear the 'plain old alto' for myself, if that's okay?" She offered with a soft smile. She didn't want to directly put Emilia on the spot like that, but she had a feeling the other girl underestimated herself. "O-Oh! Well, I hope I made a good first impression on your best friend then," She smiled bashfully. When the waiter came over, she watched with a soft smile as Emilia was in her element. While she could understand what they said and could speak it, she knew just out of sheer nervousness she'd fumble over words and be a flustered mess. So she let them catch up.

“I’ll let you get away with it this time because your cute.” Lola’s cute little smile and eyelash batting were driving her crazy. And the fact that she wanted to hear Emilia sing but was understanding enough not to put her on the spot? Forget it. Why is she so perfect? she wondered to herself. “Oh yeah. He laughed about the alphabet mafia thing for at least a whole day.” Emilia and the waiter asked each other about their families and life in general. Emilia, of course, left out the parts about clinicals stressing her out beyond belief. She ordered her usual chicken taco platter and Sprite, then the waiter turned his attention to Lola, asking for her order in English.

"Oooh, you let me get away with that then I think you'll be in trouble soon." Lola was very close to making a very cheesy 'stealing your heart' type of comment, but held herself back from doing so. At least the principle of it was there, or so she thought. "Yeah it was something that I used to throw around in high school until I was able to come out," She chuckled. Lola watched Emilia and her friend exchange their stories with curiosity for a moment until it was finally her turn. She ordered in Spanish and then followed up with, "I grew up in a predominantly Latinx community so and since Italian and Spanish are very similar, I learned pretty quickly."

Both Emilia and the waiter looked over at Lola, surprised. The waiter went off to get their drinks and Emilia asked Lola, “Well damn, why didn’t you tell me sooner? So you know English, Italian, and Spanish? Do you know any other languages?” Blaine was fluent in Italian because of his grandfather, and Emilia was tempted to ask him for lessons. “So backtracking a bit, when did you come out?”

Lola smiled sheepishly and then said, "I didn't want to interrupt the conversation, but it was just cool to just hear it. Almost reminded me of home. And yeah, I speak a little bit of Mandarin and Korean, because of this science trip that I took, but I'm mostly fluent in Italian and Spanish, what about you?" She asked curiously. She definitely hoped she didn't come off as too much of a nerd. "My junior year of high school, so like...two years ago. My mom hugged me and cried and said, 'Thank God, Lola actually enjoys other people's company!'...I didn't vocalize crushes like my siblings did, mostly cause I've always been the quieter one," She admitted with a chuckle.

"I grew up speaking both English and Spanish at home. Spanish was my mom's first language and she wanted me to be fluent too, so she started teaching me both at the same time. I learned ASL in high school, and I still use it with Ace regularly. Aaaand I took a French class last year to fulfill a language credit, but I can't say that I really speak it. I remember, like, a few phrases." Emilia couldn't help but giggle at Lola's story about her coming out experience. "Damn, your mom really turned your coming out into a roasting session."

"That, is so cool! You've honestly got me beat, let's be real. That's so sweet that you picked up on ASL to communicate with Ace, that's true friendship right there," Lola nodded with a proud grin. "Ugh, French. That is such a hard language to learn. All I can say is Je m'appelle Lola and oui oui baguette," She bit her lip, trying to suppress a giggle, but couldn't help but do so. "It wouldn't be a Siciliani family dinner if there wasn't roasting involved. My mom, nonna, and pops, are legends of that."

"Do I have you beat? You know more languages than I do. But yeah, I wanted to be able to talk to him in a way that made him comfortable. Plus I thought signing would be a good skill to have." Ace was the only person she regularly signed with, though she was able to sign with a patient during one of her clinical rotations last week and she felt accomplished because of it. "Right? French is weird. There's so many letters in the words and they only pronounce half of them! What gives?" She giggled at the 'oui oui baguette' comment. "I remember 'omelette du fromage,' from Dexter's Laboratory." Emilia smiled at her fondly. "Is this what I have to look forward to one day? Roasting?"

“Yes you do. I think learning sign language holds the upper hand to the amount that I know, you know? I think sign language should be something everyone should know,” She grinned. “I love that for you both though. And um, I’d be willing to learn if you’re town to teach me?” she asked with a cute grin, but she meant it. She’d love to learn sign language especially to make Ace feel more comfortable. “Exactly! Like what is even that language? It’s like alphabet soup or something!” Lola laughed alongside with Emilia and gasped excitedly at the Dexter’s Laboratory reference. “Oh my god, yes!!! That one is a classic, it’s honestly the first French phrase I learned,” she admitted with a laugh. “Yes, and once you’re comfortable enough with us, get ready to get roasted.”

“Oh yeah, I can definitely teach you some stuff! Ace would probably do it too. Just tell me when.” She knew Ace would be willing to do it, but didn’t know if he had the time to do it. “Just a heads up, the ASL grammar rules can get a little funky. Frustrating is what it is! When a word ends in -er, -ez, or e with an accent, they all sound like the letter a! How does that make sense?” She huffed dramatically. “I think it might be the first phrase a lot of people in our generation learned.” She laughed nervously at the mention of getting roasted. “Oh, fun.”

"That would be really great! I mean, whenever you both are free, of course. I know schedules can be all over the place and everything," Lola mused with a grin. She was excited at the offer, but she also didn't want to push it either. "Wait what?! Really?! So how do you differentiate whether -er, -ez, or -e to not sound like a?" She asked curiously. "Definitely! I mean Dexter's Lab was one of the most iconic shows of our time between that and the Powerpuff Girls," She chuckled and then shook her head. "Don't worry, we don't start it right off the bat. We take it easy until you're ready."

“We’ll figure something out.” She smiled at Lola, reaching out for her hand. “Fuck if I know!” she answered with a laugh. She liked to think about her French class— and the B- she got in it— as little as possible. “Oh my God, the Powerpuff Girls is my absolute favorite!” She still watched reruns of it to this day. It was one of her comfort shows. “Not the 2016 reboot though. We don’t talk about the 2016 reboot.”

Lola nodded and reached for Emilia's hand with a big smile. "French is truly the weirdest language, I'm convinced," She laughed. "Wait really?! Me too! The Powerpuff Girls practically got me through my first exams last semester, I don't know what I would've done," She explained with a chuckle. "No, absolutely not the 2016 reboot doesn't exist. Although, I have to ask, which one's your favorite?"

"No way! That's crazy," she exclaimed. "That's really your favorite cartoon too? God, it's like you get more perfect the more I get to know you." She had to have some flaw. Everything about her felt too good to be true. "Nope, it never happened. Neither did Teen Titans GO... Which one is my favorite? I think I'd have to say Buttercup. I've always wished I could be a badass like Buttercup, but really I'm just a big ol' softy like Bubbles. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing, just a true thing. If you were a Powerpuff Girl, I think you'd be Blossom. You have that natural-born leader vibe about you."

"Yeah! I mean, I'm definitely far from perfect, though, that's for sure," Lola admitted with a sheepish grin. While it made her heart swell that Emilia thought so highly of her...she often thought of herself as someone who was often closed off from the world. "Teen Titans GO is honestly homophobic, I'm convinced. The light-heartedness, the lack of dark aesthetic...what's the point?" She shook her head with a sigh. "Well for what it's worth, you look like older Buttercup, you've just got Bubbles' spirit, and that's okay. Besides, Bubbles proved herself to be pretty hardcore which scared Blossom and Buttercup," She smirked. "Well...since you said I'm Blossom..." She trailed off as she pulled her phone out, scrolled for a few moments and slid over a picture. "Blossom is my favorite Powerpuff Girl so my mom dressed me up as her for Halloween, especially since my hair's more on the reddish side, like my nonna."

Emilia didn't want to push it, but she honestly though Lola was perfect. "Right?! Like, what was even the point of rebooting that show? They made everyone less hot and more annoying!" She had a huge crush on Raven as a child, but didn't realize at the time that dating girls was even an option for her. "I do? Let me guess, because of the green eye/dark hair combo? I get my hair from my mom, and I guess I get my eyes from my dad. I never met the guy, but my mom's family is full of brown-eyed people, so by default, it has to be from him." Emilia's jaw dropped when Lola showed her the Halloween costume pictures. "Lola, that is the cutest shit I've ever seen! Oh my God! Look at your little bow, and your little dress! Ahhhh!"

Lola nodded with enthusiasm, "Yes! Thank you! I honestly don't understand why they took away the appeal of it all...and I swear if you tell me that Raven and Beast Boy were your faves, I might have to run and buy a ring." Lola was pretty sure between Raven, Beast Boy, Megan Fox, and Sebastian Stan, that they were her bi-awakening, but, it also wasn't something that she had expressed out loud either. Her crushes, were often very, very quiet. "Guilty as charge, but also, and don't hate me, but you have the most attractive rbf. That's what really sold it to me." At the mention of Emilia's father, Lola's head tilted curiously. This was the first time she had ever heard him mention, and frankly...she wasn't really sure if she should ask. She didn't want to make things awkward or make Emilia feel uncomfortable. "Well, green eyes or brown eyes, I still find you pretty," She smiled softly. "Oh god," She giggled, feeling her face heat up again. "I didn't think you'd gush that hard over little me!"

She paused for a moment, flustered by the ring comment. “Oh, uh, Raven and Robin... but I guess one out of two isn’t bad?” She couldn’t exactly pinpoint who or what her pansexual awakening was, as there were several different factors at play. But she knew pretty cartoon characters definitely played some sort of role. “Wait, do I really have an rbf?!” Emilia thought of herself as a generally happy person, despite the fact that her smile was a source of insecurity. “I appreciate that. You already know I think you’re really pretty. I see that look on your face. You can ask questions if you want to. I don’t mind answering.” Though she didn’t talk about her biological father often, the topic was no longer a sore subject for her. She had made peace with the fact that she didn’t know the man and probably never would. “What can I say? You’re just that cute!” she exclaimed, smiling back at her.

Lola chuckled at Emilia's reaction, she truly was endearing. "Yeah, that's still grounds for being wifed up, that's for sure," She teased once more. She was lucky neither of her siblings were around hearing what she was saying because she'd definitely be given shit for it. "You do when you're really focused on something, but--and you're probably going to roast me on this, but I find it really attractive on you. Especially like...the moment when someone catches your attention, it melts away and you smile and your eyes go from laser beams to little stars...wow, that's such a simp thing to say," She said aloud, her face, officially, as pink as the bracelets on her wrist, but it was the truth. It was what she admired most about the brunette. "Thank you," She chuckled. "Okay, I'll only ask if you're comfortable with me asking, however. I don't want to bring up anything sour or make you feel like backed to a wall or anything," She offered. "Not as cute as you," She grinned, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Huh, if I had known that, I would've put it in my Tinder bio! Just kidding, I don't have Tinder," she stated, laughing nervously. She was too nervous for dating apps. If she did use a dating app, she would have to do what she does with her OnlyFans and pretend to be someone else-- a much more confident someone else-- and she didn't like the idea of lying to a potential partner. With OnlyFans, she wasn't trying to find someone, she was just trying to get paid. Emilia once again found herself flustered at Lola's compliments. Lola's words flowed like a poem. She wondered to herself, How was she this perfect? "I think... that might be the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me?" She noticed the other girl's blush, but didn't want to embarrass her by bringing attention to it. "I honestly don't mind talking about it. I mean, I might not have great answers because I really don't know the guy, but it doesn't bother me," she replied, shrugging. "Oh hush. You're cuter."

Lola couldn't help but burst out laughing at Emilia's comment about Tinder. Even if she did or didn't have one, she had to admit it was pretty clever. Although, she, herself only lasted a day on Tinder before deleting her profile. It wasn't something she bragged about after the many unwanted dick pics she got. She shook her head at the thought. "Wait really?" She tilted her head curiously at Emilia. How could no one tell her how pretty she was? How bright her smile was and the way she laughed could echo in one's head all day. "Well, I guess I should just share more of what I think when I see you over time, huh?" Lola meant every word about her, too. "And, you just answered my question," She giggled. "For what it's worth, your mom did one hell of an amazing job raising you, and kudos to your step-dad, too," She smiled. "Oh, so we're just gonna have that battle on who's cuter, is that what I'm gathering," Lola teased, moving her fingers up Emilia's arm playfully.

“Well yeah,” she admitted. “I mean, people have complimented me before. But it’s usually just surface level stuff. Nothing like that. That right there was pure poetry. You should start writing this stuff down. Maybe you’ll get a poetry award one day.” She knew on a conscious level that there were people who found her attractive. She wouldn’t have subscribers if they didn’t. But the ghosts of bullies past still haunted her to this day. She often thought about the classmates who made fun of her weight, her overbite, and the fact that she sometimes would slip into Spanish by accident. She thought about the girls in her dance class who made fun of her for being ugly and wearing hand-me-downs, and because she had to quit because her mom didn’t have the money to afford the classes. She thought about her ex-boyfriend, who never outright insulted her, but didn’t care about her feelings or interests. But Lola was different. But it had her wondering why. Why was she being so nice to her? Did she have an ulterior motive? Or was Emilia just traumatized and in need of genuine human kindness? As she got lost in her own thoughts, she heard speaking and felt her arm being touched, but wasn’t retaining what was being said or what was going on. She focused back in, asking, “Sorry, I zoned out a bit. What was that last part?”

Lola smiled a little and shrugged, "I've never really written poetry before but...I guess I could give it a whirl. Maybe I could ask AJ to help me. He's really big on poetry. Just so you know if I win that award, you'll be the first I thank." As she continued talking, she could tell that something about Emilia was off. The way she suddenly fell silent rang alarm bells in the back of Lola's mind and so she stood up and walked over to sit next to her, closing the space of the table in between them. It wasn't something she often did, but, she knew it struck something in Emilia and the last thing she wanted was for Emilia to be sad. It made Lola wonder as she quietly brought her hand to Emilia's cheek, why in the world would someone want to hurt someone as sweet as her? "I'm sorry if that struck a nerve, Em," She said quietly. "I just...wanted to say that I really admire you."

“It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. I guess my brain is still resetting from earlier...” She still wasn’t 100% after her earlier panic attack. This whole day was a rollercoaster, and she felt as if she had just hit a sudden death drop. She took a deep breath before finally admitting, “Lola, I honestly don’t understand why you’re so nice to me. I appreciate it, really, but I don’t feel like I deserve it.”

"That's okay, you can take your time. Today took a toll on you so I can't expect you to magically be better, but I do want to be here for you too," Lola offered with a soft smile. Anxiety wasn't fun and she could speak it from experience, although she was one to bury her emotions deep down and not really show it to others, that was a different story for a different day, however. "I mean, you were nice to me the day we met, you know? Aside from having a crush on you, you were my first friend here, someone that I could easily relate to. Why do you feel undeserving of kindness?"

“Thanks,” she mumbled, taking Lola’s hand into hers and squeezing it. Emilia wanted to be okay. She wanted to enjoy herself. At minimum, she wanted to put on a brave face and swallow down her thoughts so Lola could enjoy herself. That wasn’t happening though. She could only hope that Lola didn’t feel burdened by her outbursts and shifting moods. When Lola asked why she felt undeserving of kindness, she froze. It was only a matter of time before this question came up. She hesitated before answering, “I-I guess it’s because I’m not used to it. My brain is constantly fluctuating between the thoughts of ‘you’re ugly and no one will ever like you because of that’ and ‘you’re attractive but people will only ever like you for your body.’ And it’s like a metronome that swings back and forth, never stopping in the middle... Wow, I feel like I’m in therapy.”

"I got you, Em," She smiled, lightly squeezing Emilia's hand to reassure her. Lola knew it was hard to keep everything contained, to keep a brave face without feeling like everything just kept getting chipped away. All she wanted to do was be there for Emilia, throughout the ups and downs, the good, the bad, and the ugly. While Lola wasn't the best at handling her own emotions, she was pretty good at being there for when others needed her, and this time, was no different. "Hey, what you're feeling is valid. I mean, whoever made you feel like that sucks and deserves to be kicked into a canyon Sparta style, but, your feelings are valid. That doesn't make you undeserving, though. You are beautiful, inside and out, and you're more than your body...and, I'll remind you every single day that you're worthy if I need to. Cause I care about you."

She squeezed Lola’s hand again, needing the grounding input. The urge to kiss her returned, stronger than before. However, this was interrupted by Juan the waiter bringing their food to the table. She looked over at him, stating, “Muchas gracias!” She then turned back to Lola and spoke. “I care about you too. Thank you, for everything. I can’t even express in words how much I appreciate everything you do for me. You know if you ever need to talk about anything that I’m here for you, right?”

Click here for Part 2 

[yutaya]

Iron Fist Rewatch: 1x01: Snow Gives Way

-Someone barging into Ward's office acting like they own the place and also know Harold is alive must have sent such a jolt of fear through Ward for a second

-Ward puts himself between Danny and Joy when it seems like Danny might get physical

-Ward tells Joy not to have Danny arrested - Harold concerns?

-Danny PTSD set off by the elevator turbulence?? But he was fine going up. Just stress induced? He's shaking.

-FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT BREAK INTO THAT HOUSE

-Joy's dog just disappears after this episode?

-Danny just meditates or something to get that dog to calm down. Calms his mind so as to seem not a threat / not present? Is Danny some sort of animal whisperer? I'm now positive that at some point during Danny and Ward's Adventures Across Asia, they were stranded somewhere for some reason, Ward is complaining about being stuck in some muddy backwater hick town or whatever, Danny just sort of strolls up to some large animals (attached to a cart? Wait, that would be stealing. Hm...) goes all zen state, then says to Ward "they'll take us to the next town" like that's a normal series of events and not COMPLETELY INSANE, DANNY, WHAT THE F---.

-Pictures on Joy's shelf: Harold with his arm around young Joy, all six of them on some vacation. Rands + Meachums kind of separated in this photo, though. Don't people normally stand closer together in group photos? Also, young Joy much shorter than young Danny. Note: Wendall's hands on both Heather and Danny's shoulders. Harold's hand on Joy's shoulder. Ward and Danny both have hands in pockets.

-"Dad says rules are for pussies" ;___; (Young Ward refusing to pay monopoly rent because he just doesn't want to. Starting the corrupt financial elite training off early, huh?)

-"Oh, here comes Mommy and Daddy to protect you and give you lots of hugs and kisses and tell you what a sweet little boy you are. It's disgusting. *sweeps all the game pieces off the table even though they've clearly been playing for awhile and it's not like Danny just won he was only asking for like $200*" Ward, you dramatic bitch. Also, they were literally only saying they were home, not necessarily rushing in to protect Danny from the Big Bad Ward refusing to pay $200 monopoly money. Metaphorically, I suppose this is still Ward being a sore loser, though. It's not monopoly Danny beat him at, it's having parents who love him. T_T AND THEN HE LIES ABOUT IT, PLAYING THE BELEAGUERED BABYSITTER, ASDFGHJKL - WARD. (Note: neither Danny nor Joy speak up against this blatant unfairness. Previous failure? YOU'RE SUCH A BULLY, WARD.)

-Big Al is first person to be friendly to Danny and I'm sure Danny doesn't forget it. Headcanon Danny is def actively caring towards 'lower class', including homeless and drug addicts, and actually sees + treats them as equals. Classism definitely a theme in these shows with the people who struggle financially like Colleen being the kindest and most charitable and the rich being assholes.

-But also why is he informing Danny that the internet can be used as a search engine with no prior indication in their conversation that Danny doesn't know this? I mean, Danny does not, in fact, know this, but.

-In the news article, the photo of the Rands is the same one in Joy's apartment, but the Meachums are not there. However, they are not merely cropped out: the background extends into the spot they should occupy. Did some poor news article graphic designer have to go find a photo of that tourist spot background at the exact right angle and photoshop them together to get rid of the Meachums, or was Joy's photo a photoshopped family vacation image, which could have explained the awkward distance between the two families, even though it wouldn't have been that hard in editing to set them all closer together? Maybe they all still went on the same vacation together, but instead of asking a passerby to take a photo for them, both families took photos of each other and then someone combined them at a later date? Practically speaking, that still means the angle would be likely to be off for the background, and it's also suspicious that there are zero other tourists around. These rich families rented out the entire space?? Would lend to lack of external parties to take a group pic for them. Obviously, IRL explanation is they're all photoshopped onto a static background, but fun to think of the in-universe reasons. ...Actually, most likely explanation is that they took multiple photos - Rand only, Meachum only, maybe also kids only, Wendall+Harold only, etc, as well as group. So this entire train of thought is inconsequential. Oops.

-Harold had a big event funeral, "mayor and everything"? That must have been fun for both Harold and Ward, with significantly different usages of the word 'fun'.

-Hello Joy, not only did I follow you home to accost you at your front door the morning after I attacked the security at your workplace to enter your probably restricted top floor executives offices, I also did extensive research into your childhood history down to the position you and your friend played on your childhood soccer team, oh and also I broke into your house yesterday where I interacted with your dog. Now watch while I prove my physical prowess by flipping over a taxi.

-Bird flying into city while Danny meditates?? Symbolically, follows the idea of the bird flying through the pass that was Danny's sign to leave K'un Lun and return to NYC. Spiritually - what? AU where the bird is Danny's spirit animal and he's connected to it / seeing through its eyes right now. For the HDM AU fans: bird could be Danny's separated dæmon? (Would a HDM AU Danny's dæmon be a dragon? Honestly, idk how much dragon stereotypes match Danny's personality. Would have to think about that. Would be funny if someone else had the dragon dæmon, not any of the Fist holders.)

-Danny. Danny. Colleen JUST HUNG THAT FLYER UP. Take one of the little tabbies, if you must, that's what they're for, but don't take the entire flyer down! Those cost money, you know. And it takes time to cut all those little tabbies out and then go around hanging the flyers up.

-Colleen be like "dear god, this is why you shouldn't be nice to people, they start trying to hit on you, @ random park dude, please stop talking at me and following me while I continually shift out of your line of vision"

-Danny: "Hey you speak Chinese? I speak Chinese." Colleen: "I'm Japanese you dick. :)"

-Ward: I'm gonna make sure our personal security team is guarding you against this clear and present threat, but also we're still not calling the police??

-Ward turns this from either a crazy homeless guy or a scam artist into a potential organized corporate sabotage - the kind of threat that Joy is more easily able to compartmentalize her emotions on and crush under her heel?

-Ward just gets into a moving vehicle with someone he has verbally acknowledged as an active threat to his family. Did you have ANY stranger danger safety lessons growing up, Ward?

-Danny now appears to be actively threatening Ward, while using the reasoning that Ward and everyone else have been seriously trying his patience and he's in danger of losing his temper, but he's still giving Ward one last chance to back down. Note: this is a technique commonly employed by abusers, and probably more triggering to Ward than Danny knows, even though Danny probably actually does think he's being sincere as opposed to manipulative.

-->Aaaand Ward responds by ratcheting up instead, because of course he does, IMMEDIATELY leading to the gun to head scene. oh, geez.

-Danny provides personal details - probably this is the moment Ward starts to believe it might actually be Danny somehow, against all logic and reason. He looks shaken, then immediately starts trying to gaslight Danny. asdfghjkl WARD.

-->Ward lying to Danny's face and putting himself in the position of the righteous with Danny as the person in the wrong when they both know it's a lie is very reminiscent of the monopoly scene from when they were kids and the implied constant behavior from when they were kids. But this time, Danny doesn't accept it the way he did as a kid. He stares at Ward, remembering this pattern, actively teetering on PTSD flashback mode, and fights back. Makes Ward think he might be about to kill them both - while having flashbacks that hinder his ability to stop so Danny in hindsight gets freaked out about what he almost did too. (Note: looking freaked out and claiming he didn't mean to almost kill them both just now was probably more concerning to Ward rather than less.) And then he promises he'll be back because this isn't over. gdi, Danny, no wonder Ward wants you gone asap.

-Colleen, trying to tell Danny to go away because he's being a creeper: TAKE A HINT TAKE A HINT

-Danny, casually: Oh yeah Master Lei Gun "The Thunderer" used to smack me hard in the face with the practice swords

-Colleen bringing a sword to a gun fight

-Danny grabs enemy's gun, but not to use as weapon/defense - only to disarm it and run off - which Colleen sees.

-What festival is this that's happening in Chinatown? Has anyone figured out an IF timeline? Could compare dates to real world events, see if there's any potential cross over.

-None of these bystanders so much as bother to look at the fistfights happening 2 feet away from them

-Ward sitting in his office eating his food (it has decorative greens so you know it's ~fancy~) and answers his phone smiling because he's expecting the good news that Danny-probably-an-impersonator-but-also-potentially-maybe-not-but-we're-not-thinking-about-that-Ward-get-a-hold-of-yourself is dead. Way to be a villain stereotype, Ward. I know you try real hard at it so good job uwu

-Harold intro. Ward clearly at his beck and call and just as clearly resentful of it. "I think...” *resigned* “-of course, right away." is such immediate shorthand for someone abusing the power imbalance. (Note: Ward puts off approaching Harold with the "Danny problem" until night 2, tries to handle it quietly until he has implicated himself (Danny now knows Ward tried to have him killed) and Danny is still present and now an even bigger threat)

-So many elevators. All express to specific floors/areas? This lobby is so unsettling. Elevator leads to another hall full of elevators, then stairs, then handprint access to hall with second elevator into penthouse. (Note: Ward is one of those people who press the close door button multiple times with a frustrated facial expression)

-Ward to Harold: "How do you even know about that? ...Shit. Are you behind this? Is this another one of your stupid tests?"

-Harold to Ward: "I wish you would take things like this more seriously, so I don't see my company destroyed."

-Photos on Harold's shelf: young Joy, posed photo of Meachums in formal-ish clothing, Harold's hands on both kids shoulders, indistinguishable group of people on a bridge(?) somewhere. Group photo atop a fancy box, Joy photo in front of the Meachum family photo. On Harold's desk: another photo of young Joy, this one looks like one of those posed school photos where they have the kid stand against a "tree" backdrop.

-Ward says out loud that he could ignore Harold and Harold wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Harold casually observes that Ward is now and has always been childish. Ward remarks that Harold has been telling Ward he's disappointed in him his whole life. Harold is still disappointed in Ward right now.

-Harold: this is how you make your employees loyal to you. *proceeds to display his complete dominance over Kyle, who looks nervous and threatened by the direct attention* Ward: "Jesus, Dad, what the hell is wrong with you?" (Still doesn't do anything to remove Kyle from this situation though)

-Harold lectures at Ward as if everything Ward has ever done is wrong, always, including snapping his fingers at him when he starts to speak himself, like a bad dog, and listing off things that Ward has already brought up to Joy as if Ward is an incompetent who would never consider those angles himself

-Ward makes a snide comment, Harold snaps at him, Ward smiles a little bit because he has succeeded in getting under Harold's skin for a moment

-Harold: Leave this to me. I'll tell you exactly what to do. Ward: Like always. Harold: Like always.

-Awww, Danny was rushing back to tell his new friend Al all about Ward sending people to kill him, possibly looking for advice? ;_; (Also, why is there a foreboding music significance to Al having a bird tattoo? Does this ever come back??? I don't remember this mystery going anywhere.)

-Danny is lurking in Joy's office. He doesn't say anything even slightly reassuring, like that he has an appointment, just heavily implies that he snuck in. sigh.

-"I'm not gonna hurt you," Danny laughs, after displaying a whole lot of extremely threatening behavior. Joy smiles, drugs him, and buys time until it kicks in.

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Tony, Steve, Clark, and Bruce: A Cross-Universe Comparison

I saw a post that, in my opinion, unfairly compared Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne, and this inspired me to write a comparison of the four characters listed in the title above. I believe many people misunderstand a lot of what these characters believe and stand for, so I want to express what I find their stances and motives to be in relation to each other.

As a note, the interpretations of these characters have varied widely, given the multitude of comic book authors and the somewhat differing portrayals on screen. For this analysis, I will be focusing mostly on the film interpretations, as they are better known, with the exception of Superman; this is because on screen, he is intended to be a reimagining of the character. In order to stay true to his nature, I will mostly be using the Superman developed in the comics (particularly the one presented in the Dark Knight Returns).

On the surface, Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne appear to be two fairly similar characters. Both experienced traumatic youths, including the sudden deaths (which were both murders) of their parents. Both Tony and Bruce are incredibly wealthy and intelligent, with almost unlimited technical resources making up for their non-superhuman physical abilities. These two characters, however, are actually closer to opposites than doubles.

In actuality, these characters are each more similar to the other's counterpart: Tony tends more towards Superman's more conformist vision for the world, having gone from a rogue, or individualist, to someone who recognizes his own potential for ignorance and damage and decides he needs to be held accountable. It is Steve Rogers, not Tony Stark, who is the MCU counterpart of Batman.

Steve had initially, at least on a surface level, been portrayed as the ultimate conformist: he gave his life to the army, in order to become a medical experiment who fought and acted at the behest of his country. But in actuality, he maintained his individualistic and rebellious spirit, growing further into that attitude as the franchise progressed. This is why, by Infinity War, Steve has embraced his Nomad identity, fully shirking any responsibility to the larger government, and instead, seeking after his own goals.

This individualist attitude is encapuslated best in Endgame, where Steve says to a high-ranking government official: "I'm not asking for forgiveness. And I'm done asking for permission." This implies that he had, at some point, asked for permission in the first place, but this is not the case. When the Accords were introduced, Steve spoke out against them, refused to compromise, and essentially fled, becoming a rebel and fugitive in the process. Any time an authority, government or not, gives him an order he doesn't agree with, he dismisses it outright.

These actions and attitudes are mirrored almost exactly by Bruce, who not only appoints himself sole arbiter of right and wrong by enforcing his vigilante justice, but also avoids police detainment and other efforts to force him to comply with the law. The law is not sufficient for his purposes, so he does not abide by it. He has no problem with allowing himself unchecked power; for example, in the Dark Knight, he constructs a surveillance system that invades the privacy of every citizen of Gotham to find the Joker. Although he does destroy it, to him, the ends justify the means. He does not believe there is anything wrong with allowing a decision of such magnitude to be left solely in his hands, and in fact, he would not want anyone else to interfere, even a government. He firmly believes he knows what is best--and he intends to plant himself like a tree and say to the government, "No, you move."

Bruce is much more cynical about humanity than Steve, which is understandable, and offers insight into their differing ways of acting on their similar beliefs. Steve was raised in poverty and was bullied, but experienced minimal trauma in his youth, whereas Bruce was traumatized at a young age. Despite having privilege as a child, Bruce was darkened by his trauma, making him use his position of power in decidedly more violent ways than Steve, who was able to grow into a position of power without the scarrings of a traumatic youth. This is what causes the apparent difference between them--on the surface, no one would call Bruce and Steve similar, as Steve is viewed as a "good" character, and Bruce as morally grey at best. Ultimately, however, they act similarly: Bruce uses his troubled past as a justification for inflicting his own form of justice on those he deems criminals, and Steve uses his supposed moral high standing to do the same thing. Both of them also view the advantages they have over average humans as indicative that they are supposed to take action--but, because of their superiority, this action is taken on their own terms. It is similar to the theory of the Superior Man in Fyodor Dostoevsky's novel Crime and Punishment. The Superior Man, expresses the main character, would not be bound by the laws of society. He could break and form them as he pleased, as they only exist to keep the average members of the populace in check. Much of the same attitude is presented by Steve and Bruce, who, as stated, use their physical advantages as an excuse to do whatever they deem "necessary". Because of this the two characters, although they express their idealogies in different ways, share many of the same views.

Another cause of the difference in public interpretation of their characters is that the narrative justifies Steve's decisions at every turn, but Bruce has more of a penalty to pay for his actions. Ultimately, Bruce is also justified by the narrative: he gets a happy ending in the Dark Knight trilogy, at least. (As an aside, this is perhaps a commentary on how in the end, the rich are able to get away with anything, and can do whatever they please with no real consequence. Although I will not make a statement on the veracity of such a claim, it is nevertheless a possibility that the films endeavored to make a pint about it.) Bruce does, however, have to face some costs for his decisions. He is driven into hiding for eight years after taking the blame for Harvey Dent's death, which was caused by a chain of events in which he--and his occasionally selfish decisions--played a major role. Additionally, in the comics, Batman lost several of his companions, with Dick Grayson giving up the role of Robin, and Jason Todd dying because of Batman's oversights. This distinct cost to his actions results in him appearing to be less of a morally good character; in the perception of the audience, if Bruce really made the right decision, would it not then have resulted in victory? It is a firmly entrenched idea, in America in particular, that good will always triumph over evil--and so, if there is any element of good that does not unequivocally triumph, it must not have been purely good.

The similarity between Steve and Superman comes from their acheiving this ideal, this unequivocal goodness, but it is not present in Batman, leading many to wrongly think that Steve and Superman are birds of a feather; in fact, Tony is much more similar to the do-gooder Superman, who feels compelled to utilize his assets and abilities to help the common people. Tony likewise focuses much more on helping others than on correcting injustice as Bruce and Steve do. This is the ultimate distinction between the four characters: whereas Bruce and Steve believe it is their moral duty to correct the injustices they perceive--confrontational heroics--Tony and Clark see their abilities as an opportunity to help others--supplemental heroics.

In other words, Tony and Clark recognize it is not their role to define what is good or bad on an ultimate scale, and instead step in and offers aid in the areas in which they know it is needed. For example, Tony provides scholarships for underfunded college students in order to help them pursue their dreams. He contributes on a larger scale with his technology, allowing much public access to his inventions, such as BARF, that would be good for the common welfare. In this way, he contributes a lot of good without creating his own definition of good; instead, he does what the public perceives as good, just as Clark does when he saves people from accidents or other catastrophes.

Tony often fights, however, to keep the weaponized side of his inventions--namely, the Iron Man suits--private. This is because he had previously been involved with the government in the weapons business, and realized that there was no accountability there, neither for him nor for the government. Countless people died, and there was nothing to keep the people involved in check. Thus, his position on individualism versus conforming to the government depends on each party being kept accountable by the other; he will submit to governm ent authority, as it makes him liable to some higher power and prevents him from making potentially world-altering decisions on his own, but he also maintains enough control that he can exert pressure on the government in return if they begin to grow too large.

This seems to cause him to differ some from Superman, who does not keep the government in check; this is because of a difference in situation. Ultimately, because Superman is so powerful, the government could not actually keep him in check, and so he voluntarily submits to their authority as a way to keep himself accountable. He knows full well that if the government were to "step out of line", he would certainly be able to subdue them, but he recognizes the old adage that "absolute power corrupts absolutely," and does not want to take that chance.

Superman realizes, just as Tony does, that it is not his right to determine what is right or wrong since he is just one man. Unlike Tony, however, Clark is powerful enough to exert his will over everyone. To prevent himself from acting on this temptation, he submits himself to human authority. Thus, Tony and Clark have very similar idealogies: neither fully relinquish autonomy, but prioritize accountability over the freedom to do whatever they would like, because both have seen the consequences of unchecked power.

As a slight aside, this surrendering of control develops to become the source of the conflict between Batman and Superman in the Dark Knight Returns, the comic which not only revitalized the comics industry but also inspired Batman vs. Superman. In this comic, Superman has almost completely relinquished autonomy to the government, and Bruce has become the ultimate symbol of resistance, inspiring violent gangs to assert their forms of justice on the streets. The conflict between the two of them is ultimately reduced to a conflict between their two opposing ideals: conformism and individualism. This also provides great examples to illustrate the difference between confrontational and supplemental heroics: in the comic, Superman sacrifices himself to divert a nuclear missile from its target city, nearly dying in the process; Bruce emerges from retirement to become Batman again, because he believes the condition of society has gotten out of hand and needs him to correct it. He, too, nearly dies in the process of doing so. Ultimately, both survive and go on to continue striving towards their various ideals, allowing each other to function without interference. This is supposed to represent how there is a place for both approaches, and neither is necessarily right or wrong; rather, they balance each other out.

In the end then, it is clear that despite their superficial similarities, the characters commonly related to each other are in fact very different on an ideological level. The reason the pairs (Tony and Steve, and Bruce and Clark) work so well in the same franchise is because they serve as foils and complements to each other: one member demonstrates confrontational heroism and individualism, and the other in turn demonstrates supplemental heroism and conformism. They represent the ongoing battle in the real world between differing beliefs and ideals, and it is precisely this conflict that makes their interactions interesting to observe--whether on screen, or on the page.

[atomicfilm]

What are some potential pitfalls in an ISTJ parent - INTP child relationship?

 I don’t have a lot of personal experience with ISTJs and ESTJs, as I don’t naturally gravitate towards them, but I’ll try my best! 

(I’m assuming you’re the ISTJ parent.)

TL:DR Biggest issues: emotional distance, discipline, authoritarianism, stubbornness from both parties. 

 ISTJ is The “Man”, INTP is The Rebel. 

 Please continue to read, because I do, in fact, offer suggestions. 

General

   First off, parent-child relationships can have a lot of turmoil regardless of type. If your child is older, particularly in middle school and high school and you feel like they’re acting out, really the best thing you can do is be open and honest with them. Tell them that you love them and you’re having a difficult time understanding their behavior. Don’t blame anyone when you say this. Don’t criticize them. At all. Or you will shut them out more. Communication is at the heart of every relationship. It’s quite possible that if this is your situation that they are upset and don’t know how to come to you with problems. I was so moody in middle school and my mom sometimes drags me for it, but it was because I was being bullied, anxious, and coming to terms with my identity. I didn’t know how to talk to my mom about basic things and that was because she never offered to talk nor did she ever talk to her mom herself. 

   Now we have a much healthier relationship and it’s because we started talking to each other about what we expect from one another and started sharing our more personal stories. I’m so thankful for that change, even if at first it did involve some yelling. (Hopefully, other people can avoid that.) 

  Accept them. Allow them to talk. Don’t scold them when they come to you. Ask them questions and if they don’t want to answer then wait for them to be ready to come to you. It’s better that they’re being honest and seeking help. 

 Also, provide them with what they need. Whether that’s tampons, birth control, therapy, whatever it is that could affect their health. If there are fiscal issues, look for solutions together. 

INTP specific

Overview: 

  J vs. P: Ahh! Judgers, in general, don’t like Perceivers because our style of approaching problems is so different. Where a Judger might try to come up with a bulleted list of how to proceed, Perceivers usually look for a starting point and the rest of the plan is flexible. Judger’s also tend to be less spontaneous and more precise. My best friend is an ISFJ and my boyfriend is an INTJ, they both like to complain about how I’m easily distracted, distracting, and always jumping from one thing to the next. But what I really love about Judger’s is that they’re grounding. They have a certain intensity to them that helps me to focus. They’re usually also great at explaining things thoroughly, whereas, I tend to not follow a linear train of thought, even if I’m giving an in-depth explanation. I’m not a detail-oriented person and sometimes I think people get weighed down by them, but I still think it can be a beautiful trait to have as well.  

  We have our differences! They work great together if you recognize that and don’t put too much pressure on them to change. Your INTP might need you to tell them to remind them about their homework that’s due every once in a while (but don’t be a helicopter parent, please). They might need you to walk them through a math problem or get them a tutor. Don’t ignore that. But also, embrace it when they don’t want to stay on schedule (life might be more fun) and if you’re trying to solve something, their Ti-Ne will generate many logical solvencies, they just need you to help eliminate some. Essentially, don’t pressure them, do guide them. Both of you should be mature and understand what you want. If they complain, listen. If they don’t listen when you complain, ask them politely. 

 My mom was always like “eh, you have A’s, you don’t need help from me”. I struggled so, so much with stress and being the “ideal child”. It’s too late now (I’m accepted into college), but I wish she would have asked me if I was having trouble at school, rather than completely ignore me because I’m smart. We did recently have a conversation about how I needed to skip a day of school for my mental health and she was very accepting of that. I was having a really difficult time because of personal issues that  I won’t disclose but little things mean so much to INTPs. 

  Your kid is going to do things one way or another if they have a lot of willpower. The only thing you can truly control is whether or not they resent you. But for certain things, like arguing against them becoming substance abusers, you have science on your side and it’s no secret that INTPs love science. 

S vs. N: 

 ISTJs are usually much more traditional than INTPs. INTPs are very specific to themselves, so much so that saying they’re “unconventional” is an injustice. They’re on a scale of their own. Sorry in advance, but you are raising a baby alien. And they probably feel like that too. Intuitives are stereotypically visionaries, sensors are stereotypically conservative (with the exception of xSxPs). Honestly, I don’t think it matters at all that you’re a sensor. Just try not to bog them down with too many details, again, or force them into doing things your way all the time. 

  INTPs are so independent, I really can’t imagine that bossing them around will work in your favor. I’m lucky because my mom’s an INFP and she likes me to lead, but ISTJs tend to be leaders too, so there could be a lot of clashing in terms of power. My best advice is to let them do their own thing as much as possible without trying to fit them into a mold. If you need to discipline them, try to use positive affirmations if they respond to them. 

 My mom jokes that my ISTJ grandma is afraid of me because I’m the only person she’s ever met who won’t obey her. Yelling doesn’t work on me. 

  Also, don’t ask them to make too many of your decisions for you either. Not to be emo, but we want to be loners. My issue with my own mother is that she expects me to do things like work out the legalities of her land deeds and do her taxes. I’m 17! I don’t want to think about those things until I’m a little older. But if an INTP sees you struggling, we’re softies who love to help, so our nature will likely kick in anyways. 

Cognitive Functions:

INTP - Ti-Ne-Si-Fe

ISTJ - Si-Te-Fi-Ne

We share introverted sensing and extraverted intuition! A great start. 

 Si: ISTJs have it as their primary function. Having sensing first is fantastic if you love to socialize. INTPs tend to be antisocial (whoops) at least with people they don’t know well. This could be a conflict if you expect them to go to a lot of events like work parties that they don’t want to attend. They’ll probably throw a fit if you press them enough. However, since you’re both introverts, you probably understand that they want to crawl into a small, dark space by themselves for a while instead. If they don’t want to go to your events, tell them to invite a close friend over instead. Maybe once a week. They do need to socialize, even if they don’t want to. Just expect their threshold to be lower than yours. 

  What’s good about it? We both like to compare/contrast our memories with current events. We both remember a lot of details about people/things we find significant. We both need a routine (but try to mix it up slightly for INTPs because we need stimulation as much as we like comfort). We both are practical and fact-oriented. 

  Your INTP probably highly respects you. That’s the most important part. I find Si to be overwhelming if someone only talks about other people and their experience with them. Simply because I don’t care enough what Sally did on June 15, 1983 if it’s not immediately relevant. 

 INTPs hate small talk. With a burning passion. When I meet people I immediately talk to them about their hopes, dreams, theories, favorite historical periods, inside jokes, ect. Not about what they ate for breakfast. We have high standards for entertainment. 

Ti vs Te: 

  Ti is like “let’s interpret what’s happening internally”. Te is more like “hey, let’s categorize what’s happening externally as objectively as possible”. INTPs are heavily invested in fixing themselves if you haven’t heard. They want to be the ultimate human and then inspire people from that point. Te users tend to be obsessed with fixing the world first. That’s not to say INTPs and ISTJs won’t share common ground, however. We can definitely rant to you about why that bike rack should be in a different place or how the political system is corrupt. 

  However, first and foremost, we’ll silently be analyzing all of our own issues and try to solve them. On our own. This is our fatal flaw and best asset. You probably only see it as their best asset. It only works for so long before we become so stressed we may combust. Your INTP may be deeply insecure, even if they come off as confident. So remind them frequently that you admire them and it’s okay for them to ask you for help. 

  We’re perfectionists. Try to discourage that early on. No one needs to be perfect. That’s way too much pressure to put on anybody. 

 Ti is very critical and reflective, making it really good for debate and self-improvement. But it’s soul-crushing if it’s turned too far towards inwards. 

Think of Ti as having anxiety. When it’s negative, you think about everything you’ve ever done wrong, over and over, until you have a solution. On the flip side, Ti users ponder proactively a lot too and come up with creative theories.

 So going off of that, your INTP may be feeling so insecure or confused that they take it out on you. Talk to them. Work out what’s going on in their head externally. It may prove helpful. 

  Te-users are also sometimes more managerial. Let your INTP go with the flow.

   And finally, Te-users can be on the colder side with their affections. If you think parents shouldn’t shower their children with affection, throw that thought away. Tell your kid you think they’re smart and you love them. Give them a hug if that’s something they’re comfortable with. Like everyone deep down, we need affirmation!

Fi vs. Fe:

YIKES. Fi is the killer of INTPs everywhere. 

Well, ISTJs don’t emote too much. Which is both good and bad. It’s good because INTPs don’t respect emotional people very often. It���s bad because you’re a parent and a human, not a robot. 

  What I’ve noticed is that ISTJs typically yell when they’re upset but are less giving when it comes to affection. That’s obviously not a good combination. 

   Don’t practice tough love. That’s garbage. Absolute garbage. If you find yourself saying frequently “they’ll thank me later” you probably are just trying to justify doing something harmful. Children need to be nurtured! Not pushed around. Sometimes they do need more discipline but INTPs don’t respond well to authority, so again, you’ll probably hurt your relationship more than you’ll gain anything else. 

  Try to avoid escalating arguments into spitting matches. If you’re feeling hot-headed, leave the conversation. I bet your INTP already did. Then come back later and try to resolve it when you’re less angry. This overlaps with the difference between Te-Ti a bit too. 

  INTPs bottle their emotions for prolonged periods and then spill them all at once. Encourage them to share with you or another trusted figure more often. Otherwise, you’ll see the worst side of your INTP much more than you need to. 

   INTP’s Fe means that we want to please you. We want a harmonious environment. If we can’t figure out how to get it, we’ll look for a new environment. We usually try to understand your emotions even if they’re kind of foreign to us. Fi from our perspective is like “LOOK AT ME I’M SAD LOOK AT ME RIGHT NOW SEE ME CRY HELLO PAY ATTENTION TO ME”. Yes, that was exaggerated. But that’s what it looks like to us. It appears selfish and explosive. Do what you can to tone it down.

 You’ll win us over with compelling logic, not necessarily pathos. 

Ne: Ne is the best. Hands down. Ne is my favorite thing ever. It’s how I communicate on a daily basis. It’s unfortunate that it’s so low in the ISTJ stack because I rarely see it. But honestly, it saves the relationship in my opinion. I have very little in common with that ISTJ grandmother I mentioned but what do we have in common? She watches a lot of movies and I’m going to be a film major. 

 So instead of using that Ne to generate a lot of small talk and gossip, which is one of my largest problems with ISTJs, use it to generate conversations about your common interests. 

 Afterword: 

  Your INTP is likely going to be nothing like you and that’s okay. It’s amazing that you’ve raised an entire human being and even more beautiful that they’re not a mass-produced model of their parents. It will likely be a rocky road but I’m sure they love you so much. They just might not feel safe in expressing it. Which is sad, yes, but not a reason to give up. 

 I’d like to add that I actually really like my ISTJ grandmother (my mother does not, because she had to be raised by her and my grandmother is very domineering to most people). 

 Here are some reasons why I love her:

- She’s so good with physical projects. She loves to bake, she loves to scrapbook, she loves to knit. In that regard, she’s awesome! She’s the ideal grandma and she has a lot to teach me. I’m not a physical person at all and she’s helped to balance me out a bit. I can’t knit, but I can cook, and I definitely didn’t learn that from anyone else. 

- She’s funny! She has an amazing sense of humor and her eyes get all bright and shiny when she’s happy. 

- We have similar political beliefs even if she’s much more traditional than I am. She’s actually the only person in my family I like to talk to about current events. She’s lived through so many and she actually pays attention. In this case, being detailed-oriented helps her a lot. 

- She’s good at decision-making and I can be indecisive. 

- She’s very honest to me at least. I like to ask her about family history and her own beliefs and that’s interesting. She’s the only person who cares about genealogy and the only person who knows anything about my great-grandparents and great-great-grandparents. 

- She loves me.

 You will be fine. Just don’t be judgy and bossy. 

I hope this helps! Feel free to ask me for more advice. 

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

We’ll Carry On - Chapter Forty Five

We’ll Carry On Tag

General Content Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Substance Abuse, Abandonment, Minor Character Death, Transphobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Dissociation, Bullying, Homophobia

March 14th, 2019

Patton was having so much fun. It was his and Virgil’s birthday, and they hadn’t celebrated like this since before Charles was around. Everyone was laughing and eating dinner at the place Virgil and Patton agreed on. Virgil looked over at him and grinned, such a pure expression that Patton hadn’t seen on his brother’s face in a long time.

If this was what happened when he had a birthday with his new family, then he definitely wanted to stay with this family for years and years. He loved everyone looking as happy and excited as he felt. It just...worked. It felt right. And he could always be happy with things feeling right.

March 14th, 2020

Patton was eating breakfast quickly, swinging his legs as he ate. He was in a good mood, all things considered. Today was his and Virgil’s birthday, and while no one had said anything about it yet, the day was still early.

It was a pretty day, too. He was eating breakfast out on the deck while Virgil played with Vanellope in the yard. There was barely a cloud in the sky and a crisp spring breeze blew across it. He was having a good day, and it had barely started.

Logan came out onto the deck with a book and said, “Happy Pi day, Patton.”

“Pi day?” Patton asked, turning to look at him.

“Three-point-one-four, March fourteenth,” Logan said. “The first three digits of pi line up today.”

“Oh, that’s kinda cool,” Patton said. “It’s also my birthday. And Virgil’s.”

“Yeah, I know,” Logan said with a smile. “But I figured we could also take a moment to acknowledge Pi day.”

They lapsed into a comfortable silence until there was a crash inside the house and Ami screeched, “Emile Thomas Picani, you get back here!”

Dad dashed out of the house, laughing, clutching Ami’s jacket close to his chest. “You’ll never take me alive!” he crowed. “You’re not wearing your jacket today! It needs to be washed!”

Ami followed him out and Dad jumped down into the yard from the deck. “Give. Me. Back. My. Jacket!” Ami growled.

“Dad’s middle name is Thomas?” Patton whispered to Logan.

“It’s his maiden name,” Ami growled. “He took it as his middle name when we married, and I will continue to use it until I get my jacket back!”

Dad laughed and shrugged on the jacket, crossing his arms. “Rem, it’ll take all of ten minutes to wash and twenty to air dry! Half an hour, and you can wear your jacket again! But this?” He pointed to an obvious stain on the left elbow. “Needs to go.”

“It’s not that bad!” Ami exclaimed indignantly.

Dad shook his head. “You’re worse than Linus with his blanket! But this is getting washed, and you can’t stop me!”

Ami seethed as Dad sauntered back up the deck and walked back inside the house, tossing a, “Thirty minutes!” over his shoulder.

Logan blinked a few times, and Patton empathized with his confusion at this sudden turn of events. Virgil had come up to the deck with Vanellope, and Ami let go of a deep breath, before opening his eyes. “Good morning, boys. Happy birthday Patton, Virgil.”

“Thanks,” Patton said. “Um. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you yell before.”

Ami took another deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, sorry about that. I shouldn’t have shouted. But every time Emile insists on washing that jacket, I worry that it’ll get destroyed.”

“I mean, he doesn’t put it in the washing machine, he spot cleans, right?” Logan asked.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean he knows what he’s doing,” Ami said. “And I don’t want to lose that jacket. I love that jacket! I’ve had it for five years!”

“I’m sure Dad will be careful with it,” Virgil said. “He’s always careful with my blanket, and with Patton’s cat. He knows what he’s doing for the most part, and this can’t be the first time he’s spot cleaned something off that particular jacket, right?”

“Doesn’t mean I’m not worried,” Ami sighed.

“That’s valid, but you don’t have to worry,” Logan said. “And you don’t have to chase Dad around the house, trying to get it back.”

Ami groaned. “How likely is it that Dee and Roman are going to recreate that to whoever asks about it?”

“About as likely as the sunset tonight is going to be,” Logan replied with a small grin. “Because those two are dramatic enough to pull it off.”

“Okay, that’ll be a problem,” Ami groaned, staring regretfully at the back door. “I just hope they don’t hurt themselves, because I’m pretty sure I can’t stop them.”

“I could try,” Logan offered. “Sometimes those two will push back at authority figures purely because they see authority figures as people who don’t understand that they’re just having fun. But if a peer explains to them why they could get hurt, and why it might disrupt other people, they might listen more.”

“You shouldn’t have to parent your own brothers, Logan,” Ami sighed. “But you have a good point there. If I had simply said that they might be bothering you guys, they’d do the same thing, but quieter. If I explained they could get hurt, they might actually listen.”

Logan shrugged. “Sometimes the quickest solution isn’t the best one. Sometimes you need to think before coming to a solution that works well. And...we all know that thinking is somewhat of a specialty of mine.”

Virgil laughed. “I know. You have a ‘processing’ face sometimes if someone interrupts you or says something you haven’t prepared yourself for them to say.”

“It’s not a bad thing!” Patton rushed to add. “I think Dee has one too. Although his happens pretty much every time someone says something to him.”

“Well, he probably doesn’t think through as many options as I do when I think of people’s responses,” Logan said.

“You use scripts?” Ami asked.

“I...Um...Yes?” Logan asked, blinking repeatedly and frowning. “Assuming that means practicing what I’m going to say in my head, and planning out possible responses.”

Ami made a huh noise. “I should probably tell Dad about that. He might be able to help you script if you want. He knows more about it than I do.”

“Why? What is it?” Logan asked.

“It’s a neurodivergent...thing,” Ami said, waving his hands around. “Look, Dad can explain it better than I can, and I have to tell Roman and Dee not to tear up the house, so we need to table this conversation, just for five minutes.”

Logan leaned back in his chair as Ami left and he groaned. Vanellope came over and gently tugged on his pant leg. He grumbled as he picked her up and began to pet her. “I don’t like tabelling discussions,” he sighed.

Virgil took a seat at the table and asked, “Why?”

“Means I have more time to script bad situations,” Logan said.

“You know...I remember Dee telling me that Dad told him he thought you could be autistic,” Patton said.

Logan shrugged. “I’ve done some research on it in the past, and I have some of the symptoms, but how many is enough? How much of that is just me being neurotic? And it doesn’t impede my life much outside social situations. I do fine in school. So why would I look for a diagnosis that would discriminate against me?”

Patton considered. Because, yeah, comparing what Dee did and what Logan did, they had some really similar responses, and preferences, and behaviors. But Logan had a point. If he would only be hurt by an official diagnosis, why would he want one? It made no sense. “I just know you sometimes act a lot like Dee does, only in slightly different ways, or smaller amounts,” Patton said. “And he’s only seven. You’ve had nearly ten more years than him to blend in to other people.”

Logan sighed. “Yeah. You have a point. I just...don’t know. And I’m okay not knowing if it doesn’t hurt me in the long run.”

“That’s fair,” Virgil said. “If you can do the stuff that Dee does to help and not get an actual diagnosis, and doing what Dee does helps you in any way at all, then why even go to the doctor? It’s not like they have some medicine that would make this go away.”

“I wouldn’t want it to go away, provided there even is an ‘it,’” Logan muttered. “But enough about me. You two should have all the attention today. It is, after all, your birthday.”

Virgil offered them both a small grin. “I’m excited,” he admitted. “Like, really really excited. I don’t know why. There’s something about being nine that feels really exciting.”

“You’re one year closer to hitting double digits,” Logan offered. “I, meanwhile, will be screaming in existential terror on my birthday, because that will be my final year before I have to sign all my own paperwork.”

Patton giggled. The thought of Logan screaming at anything in terror was hilarious. He finished the last of his juice that went with his breakfast and asked, “What do you think we’re gonna get as a birthday present?” he asked.

“I know what you’re getting, Patton, but I will never tell,” Logan said with a smug grin. “I helped Dad and Ami pick it out.”

“Oh, did you help with mine?” Virgil asked.

“A little bit,” Logan said. “Only in the sense of Dad and Ami asked about your potential gift, because I knew more than they did about it.”

Virgil pouted. “That doesn’t narrow it down at all!”

Logan shrugged, grinning. “That’s the point, Virgil! It’s a surprise!”

Virgil scowled until Dad came out on the deck, this time jacket-free. “Hey, boys,” he said. “What has you talking so seriously?”

“Birthday presents,” Patton answered solemnly. “Logan knows both of ours but he’s not telling!”

“Well, good, because that was the agreement we made when he helped us,” Dad said with a grin. “But if you want to see those presents, we could go inside now and open them, if you want?”

“Ooh, please?!” Patton asked. Virgil agreed quietly.

Dad nodded and ushered the three of them inside. There were two balloons being held down by two presents each. One of the balloons was baby blue, and the other deep purple. Patton and Virgil immediately went to their favorite colors and grabbed the balloons, then looked at the presents. Ami came in the room with Roman and Dee trailing behind. “Oh, the time has come already, huh?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Dad said with a laugh. “Now, we’re going to spoil the fun just a little by saying that both of you each got a set of books we thought you might enjoy, and then something else we know you two would want. One experiment and one thing for certain, sound good?”

They nodded. Patton looked to Virgil and Virgil looked to Patton. “I opened mine first last time, you go!” Patton encouraged.

Virgil took the top present off the counter and felt it in his hands. “I bet this is the books,” he said. “It’s heavy enough to be.”

A quick rip and the paper was falling off and floating to the floor as Virgil stared at the books in shock. It was a series of four, the first four in the entire series of Animorphs. “No way!” Virgil exclaimed. “That’s so cool!”

Logan was stifling laughter. “I mean, you’re close enough to being a fourth grader that you can probably handle most of the stuff in the books. And if not, well, now you know, and you get those cool covers to stare at.”

Virgil grinned. “I’m gonna have fun reading these!” he said. “Even if it gets intense, that’s half the fun!”

Patton opened the top present on his side and he laughed when he saw the books enclosed. “The Magic Treehouse! I love these, even if they’re a bit of an easy read. Sometimes it’s nice to relax with a book that you know is gonna end well.”

“See, that’s where our tastes are super different,” Virgil pointed out. “I like stuff with lots of suspense, you like things that are relaxing most of the time.”

“Don’t you worry that what you read is going to make you more anxious?” Patton asked.

Virgil shrugged. “Not really. I know it’s not real and it can’t hurt me. The only way I’d get a panic attack from reading is if it went over something I was already scared of. Like Charles.”

“Oh. Okay then,” Patton said. “Should I go or you go?”

“You go,” Virgil said.

Patton nodded and opened his other gift, and laughed. “Oh, cool! A new Lego set! This one...it looks like it makes a couple little buildings! Cool! I need somewhere for my creations to go around, and this could help me set up a little town!”

Virgil laughed. “You’re gonna have fun with that. What’s...mine...” Virgil trailed off as he opened the present, before squealing in surprised delight. “It’s Avatar! I don’t believe it! It’s the whole Avatar series!”

Patton grinned. “Oh, that’s neat! You can watch it whenever you want, now!”

“I know!” Virgil exclaimed, positively beaming. “This is fantastic!” he ran over to Dad and Ami and hugged them both. “Thanks so much!” he exclaimed.

Patton joined in on the hugs, and then the two ran off to their room, where Patton’s Legos and Virgil’s reading nook were, leaving behind two very stunned dads and three laughing brothers.

[lj-writes]

Is Finn immune to the Force?

It still bothers me that Kylo Ren never used the Force against Finn. I mean, we’re talking about the guy who's been shown doing this

and this

and this

also this

and so much more to his enemies and even people who just kind of annoyed him in the moment. The dude has oodles of Force power and is not at all shy about throwing it around. Other Force users are not immune, as shown with Rey who is even more powerful than he is.

So why, in his fight against Finn at the end of TFA, did Ren never even try to use the Force? Finn went running to an unconscious Rey after Ren knocked her out. Finn had even thrown his blaster aside, not that blasters work against Ren as Poe found out at the start of the movie. Why didn’t Ren throw Finn against a tree, too, or lift him into the air and choke him? That’s more like the guy’s usual MO.

Instead Ren not only dueled Finn but even resorted to punching him after disarming him, which had viewers commenting that his animosity against Finn seemed very raw and personal. It is true that Ren seems to have a personal beef against Finn (link), but again, the new Supreme Leader of the First Order has never been hesitant to use Force power against people regardless of how well he knew them or how strongly he felt about them. He revels in making people, from total strangers to hated rivals, helpless with his power. So why not Finn?

My hypothesis is that there’s another layer to Ren’s animosity against Finn beyond the usually-discussed ones of Finn defecting and making the opposite choices he did, and Ren’s hatred being the manifestation of his regrets. That’s a valid point and I have argued it myself (link), but what if there’s something more immediate and visceral going on?

Let’s go back to that moment in the village near the beginning of TFA, when Ren stared for a long moment at Finn before he turned away. He then unfreezes Poe’s blaster beam to strike a pole Finn was standing near, startling him and showering him with sparks.

What exactly prompted the staring and the intimidation here? There have been many speculations, from his realizing that Finn had not fired at the villagers to sensing Finn’s Force sensitivity. These are sound possibilities, but what if there’s something else? What if this scene is key to their interactions throughout the movie, and ties into the abovementioned duel scene at the end?

Let me propose an alternate scenario: Kylo Ren, having ordered the slaughter of unarmed prisoners, senses a disturbance in the Force--or rather, a lack of disturbance where there should be one. Remember what Chirrut said in Rogue One: “The Force moves darkly around a creature that is about to kill.” Given that the Force is the connection between living beings, I can imagine that this dark movement of the Force would persist for at least a little while afterward.

So let’s say Kylo Ren senses that there is no dark movement of the Force around Finn that indicates he had killed or intended to kill someone. He turns and stares directly at that point of light amid the darkened swirls in the Force.

Now, this alone could be enough to annoy him and he might find it reason enough to bully Finn. But what if his stare was about more than sensing the Force around Finn and realizing this Trooper had not obeyed his orders? Wouldn’t you be at least a little curious at such an anomaly, maybe try and see if the Trooper had simply lost his nerve or if something more was going on? 

What if the intensity of Kylo Ren’s stare indicated that he was trying to skim the surface of Finn’s mind, something the target might not even feel unlike a full mind probe? Just enough to tell what thoughts and emotions were going through the Trooper’s mind?

What if it didn’t work?

Imagine the turmoil, even embarrassment Kylo Ren would have felt in this scenario. His entire life was defined for better and for worse by being a powerful Force user. It was the source of his self-worth, the reason for his perceived superiority, the means by which he dominated others. Then to have something so simple as a mind scan fail to work on a lowly Stormtrooper, as though he had been walled off? Imagine his astonishment, then fury.

At this point it is entirely in character for Ren to unfreeze the blaster beam in a pique, intimidating Finn and reasserting control over the situation in his own mind. It was a reassurance to himself that his Force powers were still as potent as ever--the blaster beam hovering obediently in the air was proof enough!--and still worked on even the aberrant Stormtrooper, if not directly. Ren would have soothed himself with the thought that he could have killed the Trooper if he had wanted. He was still in control. Still powerful. Still Kylo Ren.

He could tell no one. He couldn’t even kill the Trooper, at least not outright, because it would raise too many questions. He had to figure out what had happened, who that Trooper was, and fix this situation before Snoke or Hux had any clue of what had happened.

A lot of Ren’s fixations with Finn start to make sense under this scenario. When Hux said they were searching the registers for the Stormtrooper that had sprung the Resistance pilot and escaped, Ren’s mind immediately went to Finn. Why? Because he had been reading that particular Trooper’s file himself, combing it for clues. He thought this Trooper could very well have run away to preserve whatever his secret was.

Even Ren’s mention of the clone program to Hux takes on a new meaning in this light. He may have realized in a panic that it might not be just Finn--the entire Stormtrooper program might be a danger. All those multitudes of humans taken in and trained with no idea of their Force potential. How many others like that escaped Trooper were out there, right in the Order’s ranks? How could he prevent it from ever happening again?

To him, the clones would have seemed a promise of full control. With a single, known template he would know exactly what he was getting. Obviously there’s no saying that whatever made Finn special was genetic in nature, but to someone like Kylo Ren, who believes so strongly in the supremacy of his heritage, that would have seemed the paramount factor.

As the movie progresses Ren certainly gains more and more reasons to hate Finn. But the hatred he has for Finn seems different from what he feels for the many others who oppose him, as though Finn touched on his rawest nerves and his very existence is an insult. Again, there are other perfectly valid explanations for this hatred. But then we return to the first question: why not use the Force on Finn? Not during combat, and not even when he finally has Finn helpless and under his power?

This may have been another reason for Ren’s interest in Rey. His cover was that the scavenger could give him the map to Luke Skywalker just like the droid could, but another key point about her was that she had traveled with Finn and might be able to provide information about him that a droid could not. Ren must have had a wealth of information from mechanical scans of Finn, which likely revealed nothing, but what he didn’t have was the impression of an organic being who had cared enough to interact on a personal level with him and so provide vital clues.

Besides, it wasn’t like he could conduct in-depth interviews of First Order personnel without drawing suspicion, not that he trusted any of them in the first place. The scavenger on the other hand was a prisoner from whom he could, as he put it, take whatever he wanted. It would also explain why he would take her as his personal prisoner and interrogated her himself from the start rather than leave her to Stormtroopers and droids. The information about Luke Skywalker he might share with the First Order, but he could not afford to let anyone else know about Finn’s mysterious qualities should the prisoner give up any salient details. The discovery of Rey’s Force abilities and her ability to push him out of her mind would have thrown a wrench in the works, obviously.

The next time Kylo Ren sees Finn it’s at the oscillator on Starkiller Base after Han’s death, and he is enraged for so many different reasons at this point. Is there also some fear behind that anger, though? Is there a reason he’s focused so specifically on Finn over Rey, whose Force powers have proven even greater than Ren’s? If Finn represents a vulnerability for Ren that not even Rey does, the idea that Ren’s power itself might have holes and might not work, that would go a long way toward explaining the intensity of his reaction.

When Finn and Rey escape, Ren tracks them down personally despite his injury and is waiting for them. “We’re not done yet.” Of course he’s not done with Rey, he wants her on his side and is under orders to take her to Snoke, but what if he’s also addressing Finn? Finn is still a riddle he has to solve, and if that is not possible a threat to eliminate.

Now let’s go into the leadup to Finn and Ren’s duel. One point I found interesting is that Finn and Rey were standing very close together, within what looks like 4-5 inches apart, when Ren knocked Rey into a tree. They were standing close together in the first place, having instinctively closed ranks on seeing Ren. 

See how Finn’s left shoulder and Rey’s right actually overlap while she calls Ren a monster:

So my question is: Why was only Rey pushed, and not Finn? We know it’s possible to Force push several opponents at once if they’re close to each other, it happened frequently in The Clone Wars for instance. See, for instance, Asajj Vetress pushing two mooks at once (all Clone Wars gifs are from a Force push compilation on YouTube, and have been very slightly slowed down):

Or two Force users in close quarters being pushed away together:

Jedi get this treatment, too.

So do droids.

Compare the above to Finn and Rey in the woods when Ren used the Force push:

Does this seem incongruent to you as well? Finn and Rey were standing as close to each other as any of the Force pushees in The Clone Wars examples, likely closer together than any of them in fact, yet only Rey is blown back and Finn is not affected at all.

Sure, maybe Ren was immediately focused on Rey because she was the more immediate threat with the blaster, and maybe he wanted to concentrate the push to send her particularly far. If these other examples are any indication, though, it seems at the very least unusual for someone who was standing so close to the intended target to be so entirely unaffected by even a byblow.

And speaking of focusing on Rey, there’s another thing about the Force push that always bothered me. Anti reylos have pointed out, correctly, that throwing Rey that high against a tree could have killed her. Yet, to me, that doesn’t fit what Ren was trying to achieve. He was intrigued by this girl’s powers and was thinking about recruiting her, why would he try to kill her? Throw off her blaster beam, sure. Gain an advantage in the fight with the aim of capturing her, yes. But throw her so high and hard he ran the risk of killing her? That doesn’t make sense, not because he’s any less evil but because it’s not in his self-interest.

Unless... what if he didn’t mean to push her that high? What if he had been aiming at both Finn and Rey and had meant to achieve something much like the Clone Wars examples above, pushing them both to distract them and throw them off? Except the Force push, having met an immovable object in Finn, channeled around to hit Rey and Rey alone, hitting her with far more power than Ren intended?

If it’s true that Ren was aiming at both Finn and Rey, or at least pushed in a way that would normally have affected both, he would have gained yet more confirmation that Finn was, as Phasma put it in a different context, a “bug in the system.” Beyond being his opposite in every way Finn was something that shouldn’t exist, that reminded Ren that he could not control everyone and everything.

Finn is far from invulnerable, of course, as Ren himself took great lengths to prove. Yet he did so entirely by physical means, in contrast to his usual style of throwing his Force powers around especially on people who can’t defend themselves. Viewers interpret this as a choice on Ren’s part, a physical expression of his grudge against Finn. What if he had no choice because physical means were the only ones that worked?

And what does Ren do once he has wounded and incapacitated Finn? Instead of finishing off his enemy he reaches immediately for Anakin’s lightsaber, calling to it through the Force. It’s like he has something to prove, especially after the sight of Finn holding it and using it against him.

In sum, I think there’s a case for saying that Ren never used the Force against Finn because it doesn’t work against him, and that this discovery early in TFA was the driver behind his and Finn’s tension throughout the movie. This means that Finn has a unique Force power, something Ren finds more threatening than even a powerful Force user like Rey. Such a reveal would have tremendous implications for the ongoing story and the nature of the Force itself.

Of course, it’s also possible the whole thing was simply an oversight on the filmmakers’ part, but if so I find it an interesting speculation to fill the gap.

[yesterdanereviews]

Power Rangers (2017)

Film review #347

SYNOPSIS: 65 million years ago, Rita Repulsa attempted to take the powerful Zeo crystal from Earth and destroy all life on the planet. She was sealed away by Zordon, leader of the Power Rangers, who are the guardians of life. In the present day, Rita is released from her prison, and the powers of the the rangers find their way into five new teenagers. They learn that Rita will destroy their hometown of Angel Grove in search of the Zeo crystal, and must find a way to overcome their personal troubles and learn to work as a team and unlock the full might of the Power Rangers.

THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Power Rangers is a 2017 sci-fi film that is a re-imagining or reboot of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers franchise. The film starts off 65 million years ago, with the Power Rangers defeated and their leader, Zordon, deciding to seal away their powers along with Rita Repulsa to stop her getting her hands on the Zeo crystal and destroying all life on Earth. In the present day, we see high school student Jason and his friends pulling a prank that goes wrong, leading to Jason crashing his car (also, the opening joke with the cow just feels completely out of place). Cut to a few weeks later and Jason is now tagged after being arrested, his car is ruined, and his dreams of getting a scholarship are over. He starts going to detention where he meets Billy and Kimberley, who are also stuck there. After Jason stops a bully from picking on Billy, he offers to hack his tag so he can stay out after curfew. Billy then makes him an offer for him to drive him to a local mine in return for using his van, to which Jason agrees. They arrive at the mine and Jason leaves Billy to go and do whatever he came to do. Jason also runs into Kimberley and some other teenagers who are hanging around the mine, as Billy uses some explosives to blast some strange rocks out of a wall. Each of them takes one of the stones and escape the mine with security in pursuit. The opening of the film really focuses on exploring the different origins and personalities of the five teenagers, and how they start off from not knowing each other to developing a common bond. It’s a little slow to start off with, and you don’t see much of the typical Power Rangers action, but there’s enough to keep things interesting, with each of the characters making a unique mark on the film. There’s also a decent amount of effort taken to provide more of a backstory and make it more clear, such as the Zords forms being taken from the dominant lifeforms on the planet 65 million years ago, and Zordon being the previous red ranger and their leader, with Rita also being a power ranger that betrayed them.

The original premise of the Power Rangers was that they were five “teenagers with attitude”, but given that it was a children’s show, that “attitude” was rather muted and ineffectual. This film changes that, by allowing the teens to act like teens, and to have the sorts of issues and difficulties that teenagers have. Each of them has a unique problem in their life, and everyone can probably relate to at least one of them. Their characters are based on the original series, but there’s enough difference to make it feel fresh and different. When the group finds Zordon and Alpha 5, they learn they must learn to work together to unlock their full potential as Power Rangers, and try to figure out what they are missing. In the camp fire scene, which is probably one of the highlights of the film, they all share their secrets and despite they are all messed up in their own individual ways, they can still support each other and work together to protect what is important to them. Again, this is something you don’t expect from a film based off a kid’s TV series: the film takes nothing and turns into something, and that is an accomplishment. Perhaps the direction it goes in turning it into a teen drama would not appeal to some people, but it had to do something different to hold the film together and justify its existence. The rest of the characters, such as  Zordon, Alpha 5 and Rita Repulsa all have a familiar look and feel to them, but also are different enough to offer a fresh take on their characters, with Zordon previously being the red ranger and getting his team killed, he displays regret, but also has his own motives, which makes him a much more dynamic character rather than just the benevolent overlord of the original. Alpha 5, who was arguably the most annoying character in the series, is toned down, and feels more like an exasperated administrator rather than the squealing worrier he was. Rita’s character too is toned down, and is a lot more menacing, while still having enough of the dramatic deliveries that made her so iconic. Sadly, the characters of Bulk and Skull, the school bullies aren’t present in this film, probably because they were so slapstick and silly that it would have been out of place, and bullies really don’t go around wearing leather jackets and pulling pranks anymore (although the bully that goes after Billy does wear a leather jacket, probably as an homage to the two).

Eventually, the power rangers are able to morph into their iconic suits, and it certainly takes a long time to get to it. As a consequence, there isn’t much time to showcase them fighting, but at this point you’ll be too invested in the characters to be concerned about it. It is a shame we don’t get to see more of the suits and Zords fighting, but one of the mistakes the previous films did was prolonging the fights to the point that made them boring to sit through, and drew attention to the fact that there was little substance underneath it all. This is quite a long film, coming in at just over two hours, and overall I think it does justify that screen-time through the way it develops its characters and backstory. The build-up to the final battle and the fight itself goes through all the stages you’d expect, so there’s no big surprises, but it keeps to the power rangers formula and gives you what you would want to see. In particular, the scene with the Zords rushing into battle and the original TV theme accompanying it exactly what you would want to see.

So who is this film aimed at? The focus on teenage drama obviously points to an older audience than the TV series, and that is further supported by the language and some of the jokes being a little more adult-oriented. For people who grew up watching the TV series as a kid this would be a decent nostalgia trip, while also being fairly entertaining. Kids who are also on the cusp of getting too old for the TV series might find this film would appeal to them, but I’m not sure if someone who had never seen anything power rangers related before would appreciate it as much. Again, the characters are very well developed, and stand on their own so you can invest in their stories no matter how much you know about the power rangers, but fans of the franchise will definitely appreciate some of the details thrown in. One such detail is how Rita seems to use a green power stone, which presumably means she was once the green ranger, a character which was a big part of the original series as it went on, and the mid-credits sequence hints that Tommy Oliver, the green ranger will show up in a sequel. I certainly hope that a sequel would get made: there’s a lot of investment in setting up these characters, and I would be interested in where they could be taken. The issue is Power Rangers is being released into the cinematic medium where superhero films are prevalent and all-consuming, and there’s really no room for something like the power rangers anymore, and so is going to struggle to offer anything exceptional in the genre.

Overall, I enjoyed Power Rangers more than I thought I would. I’m not a huge fan of the franchise, but I do remember watching the original series as a kid, and there’s enough nostalgia in here to make things familiar and also to overlook some of the nonsensical story elements in keeping with it. Giving the main characters a lot more depth and their own individual problems and dilemmas is the film’s main strong point, and creates some surprisingly emotional moments. I wouldn’t say they were groundbreaking, but they were very good. Even though it takes a large portion of the film to get to the power rangers morphing, the film fills its runtime with plenty of drama and story that means it’s never really boring. Some of the jokes are a bit out-of-place or just fall flat, and the effects are not overly special (although fairly decent), but I think the film overall retains enough entertainment, fun and drama to make it worthwhile to watch. It’s never going to compare to the vast library of superhero films it has to compete with nowadays, but it’s a fun nostalgia trip and one that gives the source material much more of an edge than one might expect.

[marcjampole]

If instead of waging wars, we spent money on education, alternative fuels & infrastructure, we would create millions more jobs

The first week after the announcement of the arrests of dozens of selfish and unethical rich folk who committed fraud to get their kids into college, the New York Times must have had 25 articles analyzing various aspects of this disgraceful scandal. All of these articles repeated a limited number of basic facts, with each article providing a different frame—the kids, the parents, the corrupt coaches, the investigation. After a while, it was just so much blah, blah, blah…

I wonder whether that’s why there has been no room in the Times to cover “War Spending and Lost Opportunities,” a truly startling piece of research by Heidi Garrett-Peltier, a research fellow at the Political Economy Research Institute of the University of Massachusetts. Dr. Garrett-Peltier studies the impact of war-related spending compared to other ways the federal government could spend the money. The paper demonstrates that if instead of going to war in Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere, the federal government had spent the money on other government programs, the economy would have created approximately 1.4 million more jobs since 2001.   

In 2017, her first paper on the subject, published by the Watson Institute of International Affairs at Brown University, Dr. Garrett-Peltier took a look at how many jobs various government activities produce, including waging war, investing in education, support of wind and solar energy, maintaining our infrastructure of mass transit, sewers systems, highways and bridges and healthcare. Her analysis consisted of three parts:

Distinguishing between wartime spending and the base Pentagon budget.

Comparing the number of jobs created by waging war to the numbers created by other federal spending.

Creating a reasonable mix of other ways to spend and comparing the number of potential jobs created with the number of jobs actually created by our war economy.

As it turns out, virtually every other kind of federal expenditure creates more jobs than bombing and invasion. Check out some of these numbers: Healthcare sending creates 107.2% more jobs, which means that if war money created 100 jobs, the same amount spent on healthcare would have created more than 207 jobs. Elementary and secondary school education spending creates 178.3% more jobs, infrastructure spending creates 42% more jobs, retrofitting existing manufacturing and energy systems creates 53.6% more jobs.

While other researchers could disagree about how much alternative spending should go to education versus renewable resources, whatever mix you pick will create significantly more jobs than spending it on war.

Her initial study was ignored by the mainstream media at the time, and the same fate has met her 2019 update so far. Her latest numbers estimate warfare spending from FY 2001 through FY2019 (FY = fiscal year) and fine tune some details of her analysis.

Perhaps the most shocking number Dr. Garrett-Peltier provides is the average annual amount we have spent on war-related activities over the past 19 years. The number is in addition to the base Pentagon budget, which already puts us way ahead of what any two other nations combined spend on the military. Get ready for this number. Sit down. Relax. Maybe ready a glass or pipe of your favorite anti-anxiety home remedy. Or an Ativan or two.

Here goes…

On average, every year since 2001, the United States has spent $290 billion fighting wars. Again that’s not the total, but the annual average. Using Dr. Garrett-Peletier’s model, it works out 1.8 million defense-related jobs, instead of 3.7 million jobs that spending that money on a realistic mix of education, infrastructure, retrofitting, healthcare and renewable energy would have created.

And what did we get? Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and our bloody little adventures throughout Africa.  

Dr. Garrett-Peltier doesn’t measure the toll our wars have taken on American soldiers, their families and the soldiers and civilians of our adversaries. She hasn’t measured the monetary value of the wrecked cities, roads and bridges. She hasn’t taken into account the millions of refugees created by our wars. On a more Kissingerian “Realpolitik” note, Dr. Garrett-Peltier’s research doesn’t measure the loss of status we have suffered throughout Western Europe and the Muslim world for our stupid, goalless bullying wars. She doesn’t compute the value of the loss in global leadership to China and other countries in the areas of alternative fuels and infrastructure development. Or the value of the loss of status as a leader in the future by spending trillions of dollars on bombing and shooting instead of investing in meeting the Paris Accords on climate change.

None of these wars made the United States any safer. None of them advanced our expressed interests. None of these wars created greater democracy, freedom of speech, equality for women or economic growth. All they did was to kill people, destroy economies and enlarge the bank accounts of military contractors and weapons manufacturers.

It’s time to bring home all our troops, reign in development of new weapons of mass and pinpoint destruction, and start investing our tax dollars in life, not death.

[niskrp]

:// SEARCHING OPERATIVE …

… searching for AGENT 006 / KING OF SPADES. classified files indicate that they go by KO YURA. born in SEOUL, SK, in 1986/30/01, further investigation makes it clear that they joined the agency FIVE YEARS ago. they are a CLANDESTINE AGENT who specialize in MARKSMANSHIP. higher clearance is needed to access further information…

… ENTER PASSWORD TO ACCESS THE COMPLETE FILE.

:// ACCESSING BACKGROUND FILES …

rumour has it they were happy back in the day.

her father owned a successful business which meant a large home, an array of expensive gifts, not to mention a pristine reputation. they were apparently a family envied by many for being seemingly perfect; hardworking husband, pretty wife, prettier daughter.

but then they crash and burn in spectacular fashion, a glittering empire crumbling in a matter of weeks; a fall said to be inevitable for a multitude of reasons.

from here the details become murky, truth lost among the gossip and rumours. people preferring to offer their own side of the story rather than seeking out the exact details on what went on behind the scenes.

bankruptcy. rival business. gambling addiction. shady connections. plain greed.

their standard of living takes a dive—and so does she, dragged face first into a world absolutely nobody wants to be a part of.

/

sometimes home is a cramped one bedroom apartment on the outskirts of seoul. sometimes home is the living room floor of an acquaintance. sometimes home is the backseat of the family’s car. never pleasant, never comfortable. never hers. somehow they manage: father, mother, and her. a miserable trio scampering from one dilapidated house to another, desperately clinging onto any hope that they’ll make it through another day. which they do, barely. she doesn’t question it. grows accustomed to finding bills hidden beneath old newspapers and waking to the landlord’s demand for rent at 1 am. believes it’s normal to live on three day old rice and whatever else her mother can prepare from a near empty fridge. doesn’t blink an eye when her father announces they have to move somewhere else for the second time that month.

too young to understand the reasons why they’re subjected to this hellish experience. not young enough to realise that she deserves better, they deserve better.

/

poor girl. dirty girl. sad girl. it’s the norm to address yura by anything but her name. not that she minds—or more specifically, not that she has any say in the matter when classmates are adamant on frowning upon her very existence anyway. poking fun at her lowly status and tarnished reputation, like it’s her own damn fault that the world has it out for her at every turn. so she feigns ignorance, redirects her attention to her studies and other activities where her questionable family history isn’t the main topic of conversation. no easy feat when everyone is insistent they know more than she does. bad girl. violent girl. bully girl. she can’t be blamed for snapping when a “joke” crosses the line and hits a nerve. word spreads fast of an incident involving her fist and the jaw of a popular upperclassman, and previous judgemental looks quickly turn into that of disgust, of borderline fear.

as much as yura despises the way her name is dragged through the mud, she begrudgingly admits it isn’t too bad. it’s better, maybe, to be feared than pitied by complete strangers. those who don’t even care.

/

they say she shares a lot of similarities with her father. don’t you see it, they ask. by the way you both smile and laugh, they point out. no way anyone can ignore the fact you’re his daughter, they tell her. but she struggles to see it. only associates him with helplessness and failure, both traits she’s certain they don’t share. perhaps they’d been similar once, at a time when they weren’t burdened by the need to make ends meet. laughter would’ve come freely then, and she might’ve been able to revel in the very details that brought them together as a father and daughter pair. for now they couldn’t be anymore different. him, regularly found in a drunken stupor, mourning his fall from grace with the assistance of cheap soju. her, reading outside a nearby restaurant when the electricity is suddenly cut off at home, trying to avoid following in his footsteps.

her mother tires of their situation and never hesitates to threaten walking out. makes a scene of packing her bags and announcing her imminent departure before quietly returning hours, days later.

normally she refrains from asking why. pretends nothing has changed and goes about her usual routine, except she’s ever curious today. thinks the whole packing and unpacking business is more trouble than it’s worth.

“it’s because i love him.” “that’s sad.” the words roll off her tongue, and a single glance over to her mother is enough for yura to regret opening her mouth in the first place. the answer she receives is only confirmation of that. “yeah.” a long pause. “it really is.”

/

graduation will be it. better life, better pay. money to buy an actual home that’s free of mould, creaky floors, and disgruntled landlords. maybe there’ll be enough to relocate to a high end suburb she’s read so much about and forge a brand-new identity, a sought after fresh beginning. study hard, this will be hers. knows it can be, sees it to be true by the amount of stories she’s heard of people like her. bottom of the rung folks who’ve worked their way up and now lead a life starkly different to what they started with. an escape can be granted if she tries. uses her brain for more than breaking the landlord’s locks (out of necessity, obviously) and wandering the streets with a ragtag group of friends in tow.

alas, normalcy doesn’t bode well for her.

she dreads the daily grind of day-to-day life. climbing up the corporate ladder isn’t as appealing as others make it out to be, nor is abiding by what society insists is in order for a young woman like her: marriage, motherhood, filial piety until death. even now, with nothing to her name, the prospect of settling for stability is amazingly out of the question. if it means sacrificing her own enjoyment for the sake of fitting in and catering to what’s expected of her, she’s happy to go without it. teachers tut over her eventual choice, as if she’s making a massive mistake over signing her name to join the police. maybe she is, maybe she isn’t. either way, she doesn’t think it’s anyone’s business but her own over what she chooses to do with the rest of her life. then again, why should it?

/

safe to say, training brings her to her knees. meaning: she really, really likes it here. potential bad habits are all but crushed beneath the heel of superiors eager to see what she’s worth, what she can do; this gangly thing with a smart mouth and chip on her shoulder. if anything, the reason she provides for joining the force (“the uniforms, i’m a fan”) simply gives them the incentive to run her ragged. which they certainly do, in an almost sadistic fashion, except to their surprise, she manages to flourish—and then some. strict discipline is all she needs and it does well to shape her into a deadly weapon. talents are already there: dogged determination and reckless sort of fearlessness. they just need to polish each and every one of it up until she emerges gleaming, shining; much like the framed college degree on her wall.

an uncanny knack to remain cool under pressure becomes the draw card for many. throw her into the most difficult of situations and she’ll pull through. slightly battered, a little bruised. but most importantly: alive. it’s commonly assumed that she simply thrives in chaotic environments such as these. the type who isn’t distracted by irrelevant details and can be solely focused on the task at hand. capable of adhering to instructions while simultaneously preparing a plan b for when things don’t quite click.

kinda stubborn, kinda risky. all round lethal.

she supposes she only has her tumultuous home life to thank for getting this far.

/

he’s impressed.

“i think you should apply though.”

“is this your way of getting rid of me, sunbaenim? i’m hurt.”

it used to be perceived as an ominous sign whenever the superintendent bursts out laughing, though she’s long come to see it as a reassurance of sorts. that, she hasn’t completely fucked up in his presence and her body won’t be thrown into the han river at dusk for ruining his usual foul mood.

a very, very good sign indeed.

”you know what i mean. you’d do well elsewhere, with them.”

“guess i’ll think about it.”

“is that a yes?”

“it’s honestly a ‘i have to compare salaries first and get back to you’ kinda yes.”

“yura.”

she grins, decides to cut back on the jokes before he dumps her in the river for real. “i’m kidding, i’ll do it. want to see if their coffee is as good as ours, too.”

god knows what the coffee tastes like at nis. they could be drinking the elixir of life and she’d still be reluctant to relocate, uncertain of what they could possibly offer her when she has everything she needs over here. a steady career, wide social circle, glowing reputation.

can’t say the hesitation is enough to deter her from completing an application out of plain curiosity, though.

/

after much deliberation, the application is sent through without dwelling on what might occur if she’s accepted. doesn’t hold much of a hope she’ll make the cut when there are bound to be others who would be better suited for the role. candidates who are more experienced and fulfil the criteria nis have set out, whereas she may fall short somewhere along the lines.

she prepares for rejection. reality, however, has another thing coming.

training puts her through her paces once again, but she digs deep and holds on in the exact same way she’s been taught to do, learned to do over the years. rides with the punches until she adheres to their lofty expectations, leaving nothing to be desired—besides keeping her smartass comments to herself.

experience is taken into consideration when they ultimately usher her to the role of marksman, and it’d be a lie to say she isn’t somewhat perplexed by their decision. it’s not what she initially had in mind, especially with the position she’s just left behind, but she bites her tongue and accepts the offer anyway.

we need someone like you here though, they explain. someone focused, someone calm, someone with a damn good aim.

can you do this for us?

she can, and she does.

:// ACCESSING PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION …

they deem her bright, diligent, ruthless; a woman in possession of a sharp mind but sharper tongue. such ferocity is hidden beneath a calm and collected demeanour, only resorting to violence in situations where negotiation is no longer on the cards. rumour has it her anger is especially volatile, bloody even, though no one’s been fortunate enough to bear witness to such a scene to be able to confirm.

despite her line of work, yura manages to maintain a happy go lucky approach in regards to delegated tasks and interactions with colleagues. first to crack a joke, first to suggest heading out for a round of drinks, first to distance herself from serious and stressful situations. it’d be far from beneficial to be constantly preoccupied with either past or present missions, and she never fails to emphasise the importance of being able to ‘switch off’ once the job is complete.

many frequently mistaken her laid back nature to be that of pure laziness instead, what with her tendencies to move around at a leisurely pace and taking things in her stride. could be seen as not caring enough, or half heartedly doing whatever necessary before quickly shifting her focus elsewhere—which couldn’t be further from the truth. she’s always watching, always listening, and always willing to defend when the time calls for it.

rest assured that the success of the agency is a main priority, and yura has every intention of ensuring the safety of those involved won’t be jeopardised.

… END OF FILE. CONTACT THE AGENT DIRECTLY FOR MORE.

[vrisrael2013]

VR Can Help You Change Your Workplace Culture

3 min read

📷 VR Can Help You Change Your Workplace Culture Virtual Reality gives putting yourself in someone else's shoes a whole new meaning — for the first time ever, you can actually experience life from someone else's perspective. VR is the first tool that truly allows us to understand life as it is experienced by others, an ability that we have been attempting to achieve for millennia through music, art, and literature.Diversity training is one area where immersive virtual reality can really help. Many have argued that diversity and inclusion efforts necessitate empathy, which allows us to understand what our marginalized colleagues and friends are going through. Virtual Reality could be the answer to that dilemma.Is Diversity Training Effective? 📷 The effects of diversity training are inconclusive, with some researchers suggesting that it may be counterproductive, resulting in defensiveness rather than serious learning. Other research, on the other hand, suggests that diversity training may not have a long-term impact. The reality is that, while most Fortune 500 companies provide some form of diversity training to their employees, data on the impact of those programs is surprisingly scarce.Learners in traditional diversity training read various scenarios detailing microaggressions, discrimination, or harassment in a classroom setting. While such training may make it simple for learners to understand diversity and inclusion on a cognitive level, it may not be as effective in gaining emotional understanding. Those who have never felt excluded at work may find it difficult to comprehend the diverse experiences of those who have, while those who have experienced discrimination may find it difficult to share their stories. Furthermore, minorities and under-represented groups are frequently burdened with the extra work of having to explain their experiences to their coworkers — and it's critical to avoid exacerbating discrimination by doing so.Enter the world of virtual reality. 📷 Virtual reality, fortunately, provides a solution to this issue. We can now better understand what it's like to be someone else thanks to virtual reality. In 2016, Stanford's Virtual Human Interaction Lab recognized virtual reality's potential as an empathy engine and launched a project to investigate how VR can help us all become better people. What role does virtual reality play in this? Virtual reality allows students to see the world through the eyes of someone else. Learners can see themselves reflected as someone else (someone of a different race, gender identity, physical ability, etc.) in an immersive virtual world and perceptually experience a scenario from that person's perspective.The Virtual Human Interaction Lab's project on racism, for example, employs an immersive virtual reality experience that allows users to walk in the shoes of a black man, among other things, and experience discrimination firsthand. Stanford's investigation is still ongoing, with many projects involved, but it has already yielded one positive result: virtual reality, when compared to other media, can help people become more compassionate. Researchers discovered that those who participated in the virtual reality experience "Becoming Homeless" were more likely to develop long-term positive attitudes toward homeless people than those who received information through a written narrative or played a non-immersive computer-based version. Stanford's project to make us better people is still in its early stages, and whether it will be successful remains to be seen, but such findings are encouraging.VR has the potential to break new ground in areas where previous diversity training efforts have fallen short.Equal Reality, based in Australia, is one company that is utilizing this technology. Their product is a virtual reality experience that allows users to experience workplace bullying, harassment, and discrimination firsthand. Many of their scenarios are based on real-life situations. At the start of each immersive experience, mirrors are used to allow the learner to see

themselves as someone else. Learners can, for example, experience what it's like to have assumptions made about them or their qualifications based on their gender, or what it's like to experience bias and have it ignored by colleagues. Co-founder Annie Harper, who experienced the effects of workplace unconscious bias firsthand as a woman engineer in a male-dominated field, is credited with the concept of Equality Reality.Much more research is needed to determine whether virtual reality will truly transform diversity training, but the early results are encouraging. Many people are skeptical about VR's ability to correct for unconscious bias, but the real question is whether it is more effective than other methods in combating discrimination. Virtual Reality, Augmented and Artificial Intelligence 2021 specialist Amit Caesar wrote the article. Send me an email: caesaramit@gmail.comYou may also be interested inOculus Quest 2 accessories Oculus Quest 2 full review. Amazing products for your virtual reality glasses from Amazon For 2021, the Best Virtual reality Headsets 10 Accessories to Improve Your Flight Simulator in VR You may also be interested in our YouTube channelYou may also be interested in our Facebook PageYou may also be interested in our twitter pageWhat are your thoughts? Please let us know in the comments section below!

[toolazytocare]

Stranger Things Trigger Warning Masterpost

Alright I have been wanting to do this for a while now and I’m on winter break so I guess it’s the perfect time to do this.

(oh my god this is gonna take ages) 

There is one big trigger warning master post for season 1 but I haven’t seen one for season 2 yet. I also think that there could be a few things added to the list so I’m just starting from scratch.

This list may contain spoilers. I will use timestamps because I know people may need them. I will make this list containing trigger warnings for all seasons and then make separate ones for each season.  SEASON ONE HERE SEASON TWO HERE

If you think I missed something or should write something differently or anything else, please tell me!  I’m not very active on tumblr but I’ll try my best. if you have twitter you can tweet me here. 

An overview of potential triggers (as seen on lannistrcs post): - jump scares -death -shooting -gore -suicide (or implied suicide) -scenes set in a medical institution (including medical related abuse) -homophobic/anti-lgbtq+ slurs -bullying -blood -ableist slurs -mention of miscarriage

The show is generally dark and scary. Yes, there are quite a few funny and lighthearted scenes, but if you’re one that gets triggered easily I would avoid watching the show. There is also a lot of swearing so if you’re not cool with that I’d avoid it. There’s monsters and stuff so yeah. Just be careful. Also, flashbacks. And government stuff. Just warning you.

EPILEPSY WARNING: a lot of scenes are shot in dark lit rooms with many flashing or flickering lights. 

I’ll try to be as spoiler free as possible while also providing the right timestamps and info. I don’t think I can put in all the jumpscares but I’ll try my best to mark the important ones. The music makes everything creepier and there are a LOT of jump scares and sudden loud sounds so please be careful.

SEASON 1 

Episode 1:

-quiet introduction, sudden loud sound at around 0:55 -child going missing in the middle of the night -sudden loud noise at 6:00 -(The dog will be fine) -bullying -homophobic slurs -shooting at 40:00 -right after that multiple people are killed, corpses with blood are shown for a split second 

Episode 2: -ableist slurs -flashbacks -more flashbacks, screaming -corpse is found, implied suicide, a gun in hand, shot to the head (around 26:30) -there are screams while someone is in the woods taking pictures, nothing bad actually happens (around 43:00) -someone cuts their hand, blood (around 44:30) -the wall moves (48:20) -blood dripping (52:05) -loud roar and scream (52:25)

Episode 3: 

-starts off with screams immediately (!!!) -that thing appears again -one character is screaming and fleeing and at the same time there’s a sex scene (not explicit at all, but still....someone might be uncomfortable with it) -flashbacks (10:25) -bullying and homophobic slurs (around 23:00) -wall moving again (around 28:30) -flashback with screaming and blood, corpses (around 32:55) -jump scare (around 38:55) -wall moves again (around 45:50) and something comes out -corpse is found (around 47:10)

Episode 4: -corpse is seen in a morgue -homophobia (around 30:30) -flashback -screaming and crying, loud noises (around 40:30/41:00)  -after 46:00: body being cut open. no gore

Episode 5:

-jump scare (around 7:30) -flashback -fighting, someone gets hurt (around 42:00) -flashback with screams and jumpscare (right after the fight) -gore: animal death (around 46:00) -the following scenes are all very intense, multiple jump scares. no human dies, there are screams ect. Episode 6: -right at the start: those scenes from the end of episode 5 continue. screams, jump scares. no-one dies, but it’s intense. -flashbacks to those scenes (around 6:15) -loud scream (around 16:05) -mention of miscarriage (around 26:20)  -right after that, flashbacks to violent scenes (death, blood) -homophobic slurs (around 32:00) -fight breaks out right after -violence: boy holds knife to another boys throat (38:20) -suicide implication: boy steps off cliff -gore: boys have broken arms, the sound is of the bones breaking is heard. no blood. -flashback: screams and jump scares, alarms Episode 7: -jump scare (around 0:53) -jump scare (around 21:20) -loud scream (around 25:00) -corpse: in slimy substance, with bugs and worms, rotting (33:00) followed by screams -sudden loud noise and bright lights (around 33:45) -loud noises, followed by silence and then a sudden loud growl/scream (around 39:30) Episode 8: 

-groans, electric shock, vomiting, needles (around 2:40) -death: a child battles cancer and dies (flashbacks of it at around 11:20 and continue through the whole episode) - two people cut their hands, blood (around 12:45) EPILEPSY WARNING!! after this the whole episode will contain a lot of flickering lights -something comes out of the wall (around 11:50, after the lights start to flicker) -that thing comes back at around 20:20, screams and growls follow -gore/blood: blood comes out of peoples eyes -bloodtrails are seen in the next scene - LOTS of flickering lights, screaming, something comes out of the wall, bloodtrails and dead bodies are seen (around 30:30)  -bloodtrail is seen in the next scene aswell -corpses and skeletons are lit up by a flashlight right after -boy is found in slimy substance (32:30) -the next scene has flickering lights the whole time and one character has red eyes at one point -shootings, people shoot guns in multiple scenes

SEASON 2

AGAIN: This list will contain spoilers. I’ll use timestamps. 

An overview of potential triggers:

-jump scares -death (graphic) -mention of miscarriage  -shooting -gore -scenes set in a medical institution -medical related abuse -needles -PTSD -bullying -blood -exorcism -memory loss -being possessed -abuse -flashbacks/visions -homophobic slurs

The second season of this show is definitely a lot darker and scarier than the first. Again, I’ll try my best to mark the timestamps of jump scares ect.  There will be more sudden loud sounds, screams, flashbacks and jump scares.

EPILEPSY WARNING: a lot of scenes are shot in dark lit rooms with many flashing or flickering lights. Alarms and screams will be happening at the same time.

One scene features a character talking about something that happened to them. The way that character describes it can be compared to how a victim of sexual assault would describe what happened to them. This is NOT what the character is talking about, but please proceed with caution.

Again if you feel like I missed out on anything, don’t hesitate to contact me. 

SEASON 2

Episode 1:

-someone has a vision (around 8:30) -jump scare (around 19:15) -scenes in a medical institution and needles (around 23:45) -jump scare (around 37:00) -character has another vision (around 42:00)

Episode 2:

-the episode starts with a character saying something, followed by screams, flashes of scenes of season. the character wakes up (a little blood is shown) and coughs up some liquid.  -animal death (around 22:20) -manipulation/abusive behaviour (around 26:00) -jump scare/scream (around 34:40) -jump scare (around 39:30) -right after that the character has another vision. loud and weird noises. that /thing/ starts following the character -jump scare (around 52:20)

Episode 3:

-a few slight jump scares, they are all predictable -the character has another vision and will be followed by that /thing/ (around 45:20) -the /thing/ will start to ENTER them (around 47:20) Episode 4:

-the /thing/ continues to ENTER the character while other scenes are playing -the character will describe the experience, frames from it will show up on the screen for a split second. ATTENTION: the way the character describes it could sound similar to a victim of sexual assault describing their experience. so be careful. -abusiveness (32:00) -racism. the character doesn’t say it outlaid but you can tell. (around 33:00 - around 40:50: slimy substance is found then jumpscar -GRAPHIC ANIMAL DEATH!!! blood!!! at 41:00 -you can skip to 42:00 to avoid it 

Episode 5: 

-at the beginning of the episode a character gets trapped somewhere. imagine a cave. something like that. the scene is very dark, you can't see too much - jump scare (around 3:15)  -at around 4:05 there will be loud noises and the character chokes on something and tries to spit it out -jump scare (8:50) -slight jump scare (around 9:30) -right after the character will vomit a little -a pregnant woman having difficulties (around 46:38) -flashbacks of a surgery(around 47:10) -needle (like half a minute after..or less) -gunshot -medical abuse, literally....someone gets their brain fried?? idk how to explain (49:30) - a character will suddenly fall to the ground in pain and then like...lie there and keep shaking and screaming. its hard to explain. (around 54:20)

Episode 6:

-character getting hospital treatment throughout the whole episode -needle (around 0:45) -vomiting (around 13:15) -character will show that they have experienced memory loss (around 16:30)

Episode 7:

-right at the start of the episode after a character says “I’m home” there will be a loud noise and some random scenes -a character will be threatened with a knife (around 9:30) -man being choked (30:15-30:50)

Episode 8: 

ATTENTION: this episode is probably the most graphic episode of the season. it includes multiple people dying and a graphic death of one character.

-needle (around 2:05)  -corpses and blood (around 2:20) -the needle is back (2:50) -multiple corpses shown on tvs (around 3:40) -homophobic slur (7:00) -abusive parent (7:20) -corpses lying around (10:40) -corpse with blood (12:00) -jump scare (around 14:30) -corpses, blood (14:40) If you want to avoid the graphic death and more corpses and blood skip to 21:50

-GRAPHIC DEATH at 20:50!!! -the scene is revisited right after 22:27!!! after dustin gets into the car -ends at 22:50 -jump scare (43:15)

Episode 9:

-ok so a fight breaks out around 19:30 -a little later there will be blood  -needle  -exorcism starts at 23:30 will last half of the episode  -you can see a character being beat up with blood on his face (24:50) -corpses, blood, blood trails (28:30) -man (alive) hurt and with blood, pain (29:00) -jump scare (30:30) -exorcism continues at 31:40, more screaming and the neck of the character will actually turn black  -character being choked (32:20) -shows character being choked again (33:50) -exorcism done at 35:20 -please remember that when eleven uses her powers there will be blood that’s about it!

again if you need anything, tweet me!

[tdedrickson]

Meritocracy: not a problem with concept, but a problem of implementation (11/22/20)

“Meritocracy is the belief that those with merit float to the top - that they should be given more opportunities and be paid higher.“ 

Without a doubt, the term “meritocracy” is now being met with great disdain from many, including individuals in the tech industry and those contributing to open source software (OSS). Opponents of meritocracy, like Ashe Dryden, argue that the use of meritocracy enables those deemed as having more merit to bully and harass other members of the community and in turn creates a hostile environment that prevents others from rising to the top. But, I would argue that this negative environment would be counteracted simply through a code of conduct and set of expectations as discussed by Sebastion Benthall and Nick Doty. Furthermore, they point out that the beauty of open source is that you have the freedom to choose your environment, the ability to fork a project, and to choose your level of involvement, all of which provide natural checks on the establishment of toxic culture. These are all components that are relatively unique to the open source community compared to the tech industry. Likely, meritocracy in the commercial industry is another conversation entirely.

There are certainly plenty more reasons people find meritocracy to be bad, though most can be counteracted with implementation design. Another argument that I feel is worth discussing is the reality that companies often make unfair hiring decisions because they do so based on an individuals contribution to OSS which by nature will hurt people of minorities and disadvantaged backgrounds as they would likely not have as much time and money to spend making contributions as their counterparts. And I will full heartedly agree that that would undermine a persons actual merit by creating a lesser perceived merit from the standpoint of a company, which is wrong. But I also don’t see that as an argument that meritocracy is a problem as a concept. Rather, it is a systemic problem with the evaluation tactics at firms who require OSS contributions as a means of merit evaluation. Those companies should match that type of qualification criteria with other testing criteria to determine merit beyond volunteer work to level the playing field for disadvantaged people.

I would absolutely agree that those at the top are often not the individuals who truly have the most merit, so I understand the resistance to meritocracy in that respect. But, in an idealistic system that could necessarily enable those with the most merit to rise to the top, I am confident that those individuals should have more power and compensation than those who can’t reach that level of proficiency and influence. I don’t think that many would disagree with that aspect of meritocracy; the disagreement comes with how a system defines and promotes “merit”. In many ways I think that OSS communities can overcome the idea of false merit because they are a congregation of individuals who should not have preexisting notions to cloud judgement of each other. More time and contributions should and do enable status elevation through the open source community and in a way that the bureaucratic tech industry cannot rival. Regardless of a person’s background and time allotment, those who can contribute more should have more power to make decisions within the community because they play a more vital role in the project’s outcome. I acknowledge that this structure can result in a less diverse, more privileged control structure, however in the community itself seen as a vacuum this design still makes functional sense. The merit within an open source community is generally much more fair as it is related to contributions. The perceived merit that people take from this experience, or lack thereof, and how it influences their ability to be hired is the true problem. That problem should be solved by efforts of companies to see past situational merit and hire those with the most potential.

From my perspective, the open source community is not responsible on its own to debunk representation problems beyond encouraging inclusion and support. Dryden unpacks some ways that the industry could overcome some of these problems of evaluation and I think her strategies would be a great start to overcoming the misunderstanding of the value of meritocracy.

There are definitely kinks to the meritocracy implementation in open source as well. ZDNet unpacks a problem with merit bias and describes a study that found that women on GitHub had 78.7% of pull requests accepted compared to men at 74.6%, but only if the women’s gender was made ambiguous. When they expressed that they were women in their profiles, their acceptance dropped to 58% compared to identifiable men at 61%. The study clearly suggests that there are biases in the OSS community that prevents pure, successful meritocracy from occurring. But, I think its important moving forward to address these sort of imbalances as discriminatory culture, rather than trying to argue that merit shouldn’t matter. 

With all that being said, this conversation is a very slippery slope and is hard to discuss its depth and importance in a simple blog post. I can definitely see and appreciate both sides of the argument. A lot of aspects of what results from meritocracy is unfair, but I still believe the general concept is well intentioned and can be improved with conscious effort. Having the time and money to volunteer is not something that is common for everyone, and those who don’t shouldn’t find themselves unable to elevate through the ranks and assume more influential roles in their careers because of it. Their escalation should be based on their capability to develop the skill set to succeed in those roles. But there is a crucial difference between the success of meritocracy in volunteer work and paid work because paid work attempts to level the playing field through compensating effort. 

Merit is extremely hard to identify when we factor in the disadvantages individuals have to overcome. It may in fact be too hard to overcome systemic problems with meritocracy, but I think it is important that we try!