#community spiritual gatherings

[townpostin]

Sri Laxminarayan Temple Prepares for Grand Mahayagna

Five-day Prana Pratishtha ceremony to commence July 3rd in Cable Town Jamshedpur’s Sri Laxminarayan Temple gears up for an elaborate Mahayagna, featuring traditional rituals and community participation under MLA Saryu Roy’s patronage. JAMSHEDPUR – The Sri Laxminarayan Temple in Cable Town is set to host a grand five-day Prana Pratishtha Mahayagna from July 3rd to 7th, with preparations in full…

[newsbluster]

Durga Puja 2023: তারিখ, পূজা সময়, ও আরও তথ্য

Durga Puja 2023: দুর্গা পূজা, বা দুর্গোৎসব, বাংলাদেশ এবং ভারতে একটি উত্সব যা বিশেষভাবে বঙ্গভূমি, আসাম, ওডিশা, বিহার, ত্রিপুরা এবং ঝারখণ্ডে পালন করা হয়। এই উত্সবে মা দুর্গা মহিষাসুর মর্দিনী হিসেবে পূজা হয়, মাহালয়া দিনে মা দুর্গা পৃথিবীতে নেমে আসেন। উত্সবের তারিখ এবং সময়: আসছে দুর্গা পূজা ২০২৩! এই বছর, মহালয়া ১৪ অক্টোবর পদ্মশেষ হবে। উত্সবের আনন্দ শুরু হবে ২০ অক্টোবর এবং শেষ হবে ২৪ অক্টোবর। পূজার…

[sensualnoiree]

1st House: The Helm This is where your spiritual energy and identity take the spotlight. The 1st House governs your appearance, personality, and vitality—the essence of how you project yourself to the world. It’s your steez, your approach to life, and the first impression you make on others. The 1st House is all about beginnings, the mask you may unknowingly wear, and how you come to know yourself on a deep authentic level. The captain of this ship is the ruling planet of the zodiac sign residing there.

2nd House: Gate of Hades Your values, self-esteem, and ability to attract wealth are all tied to the 2nd House. This is where your personal resources, possessions, and financial matters come into play. The foods you eat, your saving and spending habits, and your sense of self-worth are all part of this house. It’s where your style and material wealth are rooted, reflecting how you value yourself and what you own. This house represents how you sustain for yourself, how you support all that the first house needs of you to be who you are.

3rd House: Goddess The 3rd House is the domain of communication, early education, and the mind. It governs how you gather and process information, your intellect, and your interactions within your community. This house also encompasses your relationships with siblings, short travels, and technical skills. It’s the space where your to-do list and daily mental activities take shape.

4th House: Subterranean Deeply connected to your roots, the 4th House represents your home, heritage, and ancestry. It’s where your inner life and sense of security are nurtured, influenced by your upbringing and relationship with your parents—especially the mother. This house also relates to land, generational gifts, and knowledge passed down through the family. It’s a space of femininity and the feminine energies in your life. This is the lowest point of the birth chart and can be fairly private and personal-as opposed to the 10th house. It holds up the rest of the chart and is incredibly important in terms of learning about our sense of security/stability emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

5th House: Good Fortune Joy, creativity, and self-expression flourish in the 5th House. This is where you experience the pleasures of life—love affairs, children, art, and entertainment. It’s the house of flirtation, play, and drama, where your passions come to life. The 5th House also governs leisure activities, fertility, and the pursuit of happiness through creative endeavors. A sense of nostalgia lives here too.

6th House: Bad Fortune The 6th House deals with work, health, and daily routines. It’s the space of labor, servitude, and the duties that never seem to end. This house also governs how you care for your body, deal with illness and injury, and interact with employees or pets. It’s where the unexpected challenges in life arise, requiring your attention and resilience. Look here for understanding on what great works you may find yourself committing to.

7th House: Setting Place Relationships take center stage in the 7th House. This is where you finally begin to truly engage with others, forming long-term commitments, whether in marriage, partnerships, or friendships. It’s the house of open enemies, where you face the other in life. The 7th House also governs relaxation, romance, and the deep bonds that define your connections with others.

8th House: The Idle Place Death, transformation, and shared resources are key themes in the 8th House. It’s where you confront karma, contracts, and generational lessons. This house also deals with loans, debts, and the deep psyche—the mysteries and fears that lie beneath the surface. The 8th House is a place of soul material, where you explore the unseen and the unknown. Here, you face all consequences-positive & negative- of the 7th house and the relationships, contracts, and potential enemies made there. This is the house of others esteem of you, opposite of the 2nd.

9th House: House of God The 9th House is your portal to higher knowledge, philosophy, and spiritual exploration. It governs your worldview, ethics, and the pursuit of truth through study, travel, and discovery. This house is where you connect with religion, spirituality, and the higher mind, expanding your understanding of the world and your place in it.

10th House: House of Praxis Your public life, reputation, and career are shaped by the 10th House. It’s where you strive for honor, recognition, and achievements that define your legacy. This house also relates to your relationships with authority figures, particularly the father, and how you navigate the public sphere. The 10th House is where your goals, fame, and business acumen are realized. Sitting at the very top of the chart, like the sun at noon high in the sky, all can see you here.

11th House: Good Spirits In the 11th House, your hopes, dreams, and social networks come to life. This house governs your friendships, group affiliations, and the communities you belong to. It’s where you connect with humanity, receive sudden blessings, and find support in your aspirations. The 11th House is also associated with gifts, riches, and the imagination needed to dream big.

12th House: Bad Spirits The 12th House is a place of retreat, isolation, and self-undoing. It’s where you confront your inner shadows, secrets, and hidden enemies. This house governs institutions, mental health, and the need for solitude or seclusion. It’s also a space of psychological development, where you deal with endings, sickness, and the unseen forces that shape your life journey. This house is in a blind spot to the first house of Self and that is why we can be blind to the very things that reside here. Its not so much that these things seek out to destroy you but any area of your life your are deeply unaware of can come back and disorientate you from who you believe yourself to be.

follow for more astro insights like this and head on over to @quenysefields or my etsy --> sensualnoiree to grab my new astrology guidebook on reading your own natal chart :)

[tmarshconnors]

Thousands Hear The Gospel at Franklin Graham's God Loves You Tour in London 2023

[rutaecoproyectos]

Rukayún (Caravana por la Paz), 27-29 Enero 2023, Chile

GEN: https://ecovillage.org/project/caravana-por-la-paz-y-restauracion-de-la-madre-tierra/

Blog: http://www.somospaz.org/2022/01/27/rukayun/ Ubicación: Laguna Verde, Valparaíso (Chile) Enfoque: Espiritual, Activista, Centro Holístico Entorno: Nómada, Rural Fundación: 2016 Población: ~18 miembros

Contacto: Juan Pablo +51 973389809

En nuestro recorrido por diferentes comunidades, ecoaldeas y proyectos rurales comunitarios, tuvimos la oportunidad de visitar brevemente durante 3 días el proyecto "Rukayün - Caravanas por la Paz". Aunque el tiempo fue limitado y la conexión a internet no era la mejor para poder combinar nuestro trabajo en línea con el voluntariado, logramos sumergirnos en el proyecto antes de dirigirnos a Valparaíso para alojarnos. Durante nuestra estadía, pudimos compartir muchas conversaciones con Juan Pablo, activista y cofundador de Caravanas por la Paz, quien, además de ser abogado de profesión, nos compartió sus experiencias en el desarrollo de comunidades y en encuentros rainbow.

Es importante destacar que previamente habíamos escuchado en otros proyectos como Pu Am o Paili May ciertas diferencias con Juan Pablo, uno de los líderes de Rukayün. Estas diferencias surgieron en reuniones de la red de ecoaldeas chilenas y otros eventos, tanto a nivel político (Juan Pablo no defendía la postura de la nueva constitución, a diferencia de Carolina Miranda, quien había trabajado activamente en su creación), como por su aparente manifestación como un líder espiritual, lo cual generaba cierta confusión. Sin embargo, basándonos en nuestras simples observaciones y la breve experiencia que tuvimos con él, podemos asegurar que nos trató de manera excepcional, nos sentimos como en casa y además admiramos profundamente el trabajo que ha estado desarrollando en el proyecto. A pesar de las potenciales diferencias políticas, sociales o espirituales, lo más notable es que todas estas comunidades se esfuerzan por alcanzar objetivos compartidos de paz, desarrollo sostenible, convivencia colectiva y el bienestar del planeta, a través del respeto y la preservación de nuestro entorno natural.

Rukayün se encuentra en un lugar especial, aproximadamente en el kilómetro 3.3 del camino al faro, en Laguna Verde, comuna de Valparaíso. Es una comunidad en constante movimiento, similar a una tribu nómada. Está ubicada en Alto Quilén, en una calle sin nombre, en la hermosa costa del océano Pacífico. Desde este lugar, se puede disfrutar de una impresionante vista del majestuoso Aconcagua en días despejados.

Juan Pablo e Indra son los guardianes actuales de Rukayün y junto con la comunidad han establecido los siguientes objetivos:

Co-crear una escuela de buen vivir, autosustentable y basada en la colaboración comunitaria, donde se experimenten los principios de la permacultura en el territorio.

Ofrecer experiencias de sanación inspiradas en la ancestralidad, para fortalecer, contener y apoyar a los miembros de la comunidad en toda su diversidad.

Cuidar y preservar un espacio sagrado, en el cual la belleza, la abundancia y la prosperidad permitan que florezca la esencia divina de todos los seres que lo habitan y transitan, en busca de una nueva forma de ser humano.

Fomentar una comunicación respetuosa y amorosa, creando conciencia sobre su importancia en este espacio.

En Rukayün, se promueve la vida en armonía con la naturaleza y se busca cultivar una comunidad basada en el cuidado mutuo y el respeto. Es un lugar donde se valora la conexión con la tierra y se trabaja para crear un futuro sustentable.

La Caravana por la Paz comparte principios y valores que fomentan la colaboración y el cuidado del planeta. Se centran en crear un espacio de encuentro comunitario y ofrecen servicios a ecoaldeas, comunidades alternativas y la sociedad en general. Proporcionan herramientas para el autocuidado de las comunidades y promueven la celebración de la vida y la gratitud. La Caravana busca apoyo, establece alianzas y recibe invitaciones para respaldar iniciativas sostenibles y la vida comunitaria.

Las personas interesadas tienen la posibilidad de viajar, unirse al recorrido y mantenerte informado a través del boletín. También se pueden realizar contribuciones monetarias, invitar a la Caravana a tu comunidad, proporcionar materiales útiles o apoyar la gestión de comunicación. En líneas generales, el proyecto busca el apoyo necesario que permita cumplir sus objetivos para consolidar una red global que trabaje para construir un nuevo modo de convivencia y promover relaciones positivas.

En conclusión, fue una experiencia interesante encontrarse con Rukayün, haber podido conocer a algunos de sus integrantes, y ser testigos de los esfuerzos de la comunidad por promover la paz. Aunque no tuvimos tiempo suficiente para poder realizar nuestras tareas como voluntarios, decidimos dejar una pequeña contribución económica en agradecimiento y apoyo por el tranquilo alojamiento y la deliciosa comida que nos ofrecieron. Aunque nuestra visita fue breve, nos llevamos un cálido recuerdo y una profunda admiración por la labor que realizan.

Enlaces de interés

Casa Putraintü – Ecoescuela Arte Escencia

CASA Continental

Instituto Chileno de Permacultura y Transición

https://www.facebook.com/ComunidadCaravana/

[thecupidwitch]

Common Witchy Terms

Athame

A ceremonial knife, typically black handled with a double-edged blade. You use it to inscribe your candles or to cast a circle around the altar before commencing a spell.

Altar

A place where you do rituals or spells. It is often a special table or shelf where your ritual tools are kept.

Amulet

Is an object that is carried or worn on a person or placed in a location in order to draw specific energy or luck toward that person or location.

Book of Shadow

A Book of Shadows is a Witch's journal. It contains notes on experiments, information they picked up along the way, spells, recipes, correspondences, chants, traditions and more.

Coven

A coven is a community of witches who gather regularly for religious and/or social occasion.

Divination

Divination is the metaphysical work of finding the truth of an issue by using symbols and objects to interpret messages from the the collective unconscious or from communication with spirit beings.

Evoke

To call or summon a spirit or entity or deity.

Familiar

A familiar is a magic-user's spiritual helper manifest in animal form.

Grimoire

Is a magical manual or a magician's instruction book. It is much more formal than a Book of Shadows.

Hex

It refer to an unfriendly spell meant to bring about mischief.

Invoke

to summon or draw a spirit being into your own body. This is usually done to encourage communication between the spirit world and the material world.

Sachet

A small bag of herbs, crystals, or other objects that is meant to bring about a desired effect; essentially acts as a charm.

Ward

A protective barrier may be maintained by a spell, a talisman, a symbol or some other physical or energy object.

tip jar

[hotdogjones44]

1-24-23

Last night I went to a gathering and I had an absolute blast. I partook in a spiritual marriage ceremony (not legal) spur of the moment, and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and been a part of. I spiritually married one of the greatest men in the whole universe and he is all mine. Everything was black. The room had black seats, drapes, carpet, it was so dark in there. Candles were lit and set the most beautiful ambiance you could imagine. Strangers were sitting there and staring at me but I wasn't even nervous. Everyone was so happy last night, and I woke up in the most vibrant mood I've been in, in forever.

I know a spiritual marriage means nothing to some people, but it was something I will never forget. I wasn't even expecting it, and that's another thing that was so beautiful about the gathering. Everyone's energy was so high, there wasn't one person in the room that was not having a good time. I kissed him and everyone clapped for us, then we all danced the rest of the night and invoked spirits from a fire. Honestly looking back it feels like a fucking dream. I got invited back this weekend, and I can not wait to go again. I even had black gems put on my forehead, I felt so important, and I am still smiling. My head has been in the clouds all day. I wish I could share this feeling with you all so you could feel the good vibes too. ✨️ 🤙

[kleopatra45]

Venus in the Houses

Venus, the planet of love, beauty, and harmony, plays a significant role in our natal charts. Its position by house reveals how and where we seek pleasure, express affection, and find beauty in our lives. 

Venus in the 1st House

Venus in the 1st House makes individuals naturally charming and physically attractive. They exude a warm, friendly demeanor, often attracting others with their grace and sociability. These people value harmony in their personal environment and strive to make a good impression.

Venus in the 2nd House

Venus in the 2nd House brings a love for material comforts and a knack for attracting wealth. These individuals have a refined taste and appreciate the finer things in life. They are often good at managing their finances and may have a talent for making money through artistic or beauty-related fields.

Venus in the 3rd House

Venus in the 3rd House enhances communication skills, making individuals eloquent and persuasive. They enjoy socializing and often have a pleasant, melodious voice. Artistic talents in writing, speaking, or other forms of expression are common.

Venus in the 4th House

Venus in the 4th House emphasizes a love for home and family. These individuals create a beautiful, harmonious domestic environment. They have a strong emotional connection to their roots and find comfort in family traditions and gatherings.

Venus in the 5th House

Venus in the 5th House indicates a love for romance and creative expression. These individuals are playful, love to have fun, and often engage in artistic activities. They seek joy in love affairs and may have a talent for the arts or entertainment.

Venus in the 6th House

Venus in the 6th House brings harmony to the workplace and a love for service-oriented activities. These individuals are likely to have good relationships with colleagues and a pleasant work environment. They also have a strong interest in health and beauty routines.

Venus in the 7th House

Venus in the 7th House places a high value on relationships and partnerships. These individuals seek harmonious and balanced relationships, often marrying for love. They are cooperative and diplomatic, excelling in one-on-one interactions.

Venus in the 8th House

Venus in the 8th House seeks deep, transformative relationships. These individuals are attracted to intense, passionate connections and may benefit from shared resources. They are often drawn to the mysteries of life and have a strong interest in intimacy.

Venus in the 9th House

Venus in the 9th House indicates a love for travel and a quest for higher knowledge. These individuals are attracted to different cultures and philosophies, often finding beauty in diversity. They may also have a romantic connection to foreign places or ideas.

Venus in the 10th House

Venus in the 10th House brings charm and grace to one’s public image and career. These individuals are likely to be well-liked and may achieve success in fields related to beauty, art, or diplomacy. They value professional relationships and strive for a harmonious career path.

Venus in the 11th House

Venus in the 11th House emphasizes the importance of friendships and social connections. These individuals are often popular and enjoy being part of groups or organizations. They seek harmony in their social circles and are likely to have artistic or humanitarian aspirations.

Venus in the 12th House

Venus in the 12th House signifies a deep, spiritual approach to love. These individuals may have hidden artistic talents and a strong sense of compassion. They seek beauty in solitude and may be drawn to charitable or healing professions.

©️kleopatra45

[botanicalsword]

Moon & their security & emotional needs

Understanding Emotional Needs

Emotional stability is a state that can arise, varying based on our emotional needs and response.

>> Indicator • Nurturing your soul • what makes you a Healer

✧ Moon in the 1st House

Strong self-awareness

pursuit of validation

their emotional needs revolve primarily around themselves

exhibit nurturing qualities

Source of Security - independency, take care of others and your own emotions and needs more independently

✧ Moon in the 2nd House

A passionate worker - highly focused on work

place great importance on a sense of gain or loss

Excellent concentration skills

Source of Security - material foundations, financial stability

✧ Moon in the 3rd House

excel at gathering information

find satisfaction in gaining knowledge

Source of Security - lies in acquiring information, continuous learning, thirst for knowledge, the ability to effectively communicate and interact with others.

✧ Moon in the 4th House

are the guardians of their family

deeply care for and nurture their parents

strong sense of belonging to their home and family

Source of Security - A stable family, a familiar environment, a comfortable and safe space

✧ Moon in the 5th House

have a wide range of hobbies

find fulfillment through entertaining children

pet lovers

Source of Security - express through various forms of entertainment, adventure, creation, love, enjoyment

✧ Moon in the 6th House

workaholics

appearing stoic on the surface but harboring great passion within

find security in stable employment and a harmonious work environment

have sensitive digestive systems

Source of Security - serve the daily affairs of life, be organized, and pay attention to order, practicality and details

✧ Moon in the 7th House

yearn for companionship

nourish their souls through intimate relationships

Source of Security -  their significant other, harmonious interpersonal relationships, good reactions and feedback from others, natural and gentle atmosphere

✧ Moon in the 8th House

highly sensitive and intuitive

prone to emotional vulnerability

easily become engulfed in their emotions

Source of Security - Understanding the truth, motives, and real emotional needs of others provides them with emotional security

✧ Moon in the 9th House

prioritize self-improvement

seek to overcome inner unrest through constant learning and personal growth

Source of Security - exploring the unknown and seeking spiritual resonance

✧ Moon in the 10th House

strive for wealth, fame, and success

believe that achievements can repair their souls and provide them with a sense of security

Source of Security - their professional accomplishments

✧ Moon in the 11th House

excel at maintaining balance in their social relationships

susceptible to external influences

Source of Security - interactions with groups and older female figures, seeking validation, acceptance, and support

✧ Moon in the 12th House

conceal their emotions

display negative and depressive moods

struggle with expressing themselves

have fear or barriers when it comes to communicating with women

Source of Security - solace in spirituality, healing, wisdom, and acts of charity

✧

>> A note to ✦ Venus / Pluto aspect in Natal Chart

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/ instagram : @le.sinex / @botanicalsword

[roxyyastro]

The placement of Venus in the composite chart can reveal much about how the partners met/will meet and how they connect romantically and socially.

• Composite Venus in the Houses

1st House:

Meeting Context: The relationship likely began with a strong immediate attraction. You may have met in a setting where appearances and first impressions were important, such as a social event, a public place, or through activities involving beauty or aesthetics.

2nd House:

Meeting Context: You might have met in a setting related to finances, possessions, or personal values. This could include a workplace, a financial institution, or even while shopping. The relationship likely has a strong foundation in shared values and a desire for security.

3rd House:

Meeting Context: The connection likely began through communication. You might have met in an educational setting, through writing, social media, or mutual acquaintances. Intellectual compatibility and shared ideas are significant in your relationship.

4th House:

Meeting Context: The relationship may have started in a homey, familial, or private setting. You could have met through family, at a family gathering, or within a close-knit community. The relationship has a strong emphasis on emotional security and home life.

5th House:

Meeting Context: You likely met in a fun, playful, or creative environment. This could include parties, creative workshops, or recreational activities. The relationship is characterized by romance, creativity, and joy.

6th House:

Meeting Context: The connection may have started in a practical or work-related setting. You could have met at work, through a health-related activity, or while performing daily routines. The relationship emphasizes service, health, and mutual support.

7th House:

Meeting Context: You might have met in a setting focused on relationships and partnerships. This could include a social gathering, a matchmaking event, or through a mutual desire for partnership. The relationship has a strong focus on balance, harmony, and cooperation.

8th House:

Meeting Context: The relationship may have started in an intense, transformative setting. You might have met through shared experiences of change, at a place dealing with joint finances, or through a significant life event. The relationship is deep, transformative, and possibly mysterious.

9th House:

Meeting Context: You likely met in a setting related to travel, education, or philosophy. This could include a university, during travel, or at a cultural event. The relationship is characterized by a shared love for adventure, learning, and exploration.

10th House:

Meeting Context: The connection may have started in a professional or public setting. You might have met at work, through a career event, or in a place where status and reputation are important. The relationship has a strong focus on ambition, goals, and public image.

11th House:

Meeting Context: You likely met through social networks, groups, or community activities. This could include clubs, organizations, or through friends. The relationship emphasizes friendship, shared ideals, and social connections.

12th House:

Meeting Context: The relationship may have started in a secluded, spiritual, or hidden setting. You might have met through a spiritual retreat, a place of solitude, or while dealing with hidden aspects of your lives. The relationship is characterized by a deep, spiritual connection and possibly hidden or secretive elements.

•Composite Venus in the Signs

Aries:

Meeting Context: The relationship likely began with a bold and energetic encounter. You may have met in a dynamic, action-oriented environment, such as a sports event, an adventure, or during an assertive pursuit of interests.

Taurus:

Meeting Context: You might have met in a setting related to nature, beauty, or comfort. This could include a garden, a restaurant, or a place where you could enjoy sensual pleasures. The relationship is grounded, stable, and sensuous.

Gemini:

Meeting Context: The connection likely started through conversation and intellectual exchange. You may have met at an event focused on communication, such as a seminar, a party, or through mutual friends. The relationship is lively, curious, and mentally stimulating.

Cancer:

Meeting Context: You might have met in a nurturing, home-like environment. This could include a family gathering, a cozy café, or a community event. The relationship is emotionally sensitive, nurturing, and home-focused.

Leo:

Meeting Context: The relationship likely began in a vibrant, creative, or dramatic setting. You may have met at a party, a theater, or a place where you could express yourselves freely. The relationship is passionate, expressive, and filled with joy.

Virgo:

Meeting Context: You might have met in a practical, service-oriented environment. This could include work, a health-related event, or a situation where you were helping others. The relationship is detail-oriented, supportive, and focused on improvement.

Libra:

Meeting Context: The connection likely started in a social, harmonious setting. You may have met at a social event, through mutual friends, or in a setting focused on beauty and balance. The relationship is balanced, harmonious, and partnership-focused.

Scorpio:

Meeting Context: You might have met in an intense, transformative environment. This could include a place dealing with change, deep emotions, or shared resources. The relationship is deep, passionate, and transformative.

Sagittarius:

Meeting Context: The relationship likely began in an adventurous, expansive setting. You may have met during travel, at a cultural event, or in an educational environment. The relationship is adventurous, optimistic, and filled with exploration.

Capricorn:

Meeting Context: You might have met in a professional or goal-oriented setting. This could include work, a career event, or a place where ambition is key. The relationship is structured, ambitious, and focused on long-term goals.

Aquarius:

Meeting Context: The connection likely started in a unique, unconventional setting. You may have met through a social group, an online platform, or a community event. The relationship is innovative, free-spirited, and based on shared ideals.

Pisces:

Meeting Context: You might have met in a spiritual, artistic, or dreamy environment. This could include a place focused on creativity, spirituality, or healing. The relationship is compassionate, dreamy, and deeply emotional.

[townpostin]

Shri Lakshminarayan Temple Consecration Ceremony Concludes In Jamshedpur

Five-Day Maha Yagna Draws Thousands Of Devotees For Idol Installation MLA Saryu Roy leads event as main host and restoration committee coordinator. JAMSHEDPUR – The Shri Lakshminarayan Pran Pratishtha Maha Yagna came to an end on Sunday as multiple deities were consecrated while Vedic chants filled the air. During the ceremony, idols of Shri Lakshminarayan, Shiv Parivar, Hanuman Ji, and Ma Kali…

[bamgyw]

˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ the second night ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

the spiritualization of sensuality is called love: it is a great triumph over christianity. - friedrich nietzsche

warnings: +18 getting hornier. pillow,, humping,, heh. a tiny bit of voyeurism as well? fingering. and a lot of male yearning we love that, we love a desperate man. a/n: team we made it to the smut. the hand kissing bit is kind of victorian. jane austen, even. but. i don't care. i’m not 100% happy with the outcome so it might get a little edited in the (distant) future, but nothing fundamental. this is a part of a longer work ♡ go to the beginning here

"i am a forest, and a night of dark trees: but he who is not afraid of my darkness, will find banks full of roses under my cypresses."

beomgyu stumbled upon that quote within the pages of a stolen copy of a book by nietzsche. he had always found himself more drawn to the destructive lunacies of clinically depressed germans than to the saving grace of the holy scriptures. there was no self-pitying in the bible, no self-indulgent sorrow to hold on to.

he had found that book, thus spoke zarathustra, in soobin's room, tossed in the trash. it looked almost new, so he took it out of curiosity.

"why are you throwing this away?" beomgyu asked.

soobin shrugged. "it's a good read if you're a happy person," he said. "but if you're miserable, it'll rot your brain. more spiritual talk and petty self-help in there than in the bible."

but beomgyu quietly took the book without soobin noticing, and he carried it in his back pocket ever since.

he had no intention of reading it from cover to cover, but sometimes he would flip absentmindedly through the pages, fixating on some passages. and that one specifically had reminded him of you. his new meaning. the rose he found in the darkness.

during the day, beomgyu usually roamed aimlessly around the town, drifting along with the rhythms of his headphones. that was pretty much the sum of his daily human activity since he quit college.

it was all he knew how to do, and often felt like all he was good for.

as he walked through the town, the familiar sounds of honking cars, distant sirens, and murmuring conversations mixed with the music in his headphones. the air was thick with the scent of seawater and the faint, sour smell of industry. it was a crummy town, sordid. each step felt heavy, purposeless, leading him nowhere.

he had a few favorite spots he liked to hang around - the port where the boats came in, or the grimy industrial estate where the addicts gathered. they all knew his dad pretty well. and maybe if they knew beomgyu was the son of the man who supplied them with their shit, they'd treat him better. but that's a secret he kept to himself.

instead, he joined in on their petty fights, easily swayed by whatever side fit his mood that day. he was better at fighting than them, but the victory was hollow. he was younger, his body was not rotten –not completely– and he had full motor control over his limbs. but he got pleasure from winning, anyway. he liked to exert some control over someone else for once. 

still, that day he didn't walk to any of his usual spots. he had been feeling a sorrow less violent, an ominous need for silence. his feet, barely in conversation with his brain, dragged him to the town's small church.

he had never really stopped at the church before, just passed by without giving it much thought. but now, standing there, he realized it was probably the most beautiful building in town.

every other construction felt fake, in plastic and plasterboard, but the wooden church had been crafted by the artisan hands of a carpenter and build up by a community. it seemed to be lovingly nursed, too. though the church meant little to him, it was obviously fundamental to others.

when lost and adrift, beomgyu would wander, getting into fights and ruining himself. but under similarly pitiable conditions, others came to the chapel like it was a second home, sometimes safer than their own. beomgyu wished he had something like that, too.

the building was small, but cute. surrounded by a little forest of old camellia trees, its walls painted a crisp white. it was an old building, but it was thoroughly taken care of. the air was different, cleaner, carrying the earthy scent of the camelliae and the faint fragrance of blooming flowers.

beomgyu liked how the wooden cross crowned the roof, marking the building, never allowing anyone to go astray. it must feel good, he thought, to have some guidance like that when you don't know where to go. a flower in the desert, a light in the darkness.

he knew he was being stupid and overemotional. he had never believed in all this religious stuff, and he never would. his relationship with god, if there even was one, was mostly based in resentment. if god was real, he could've treated him better.

and still, he didn't dare to enter the chapel out of some reverential respect he didn't even know he was capable of. so he just stood there, staring at the chapel, feeling small.

he took a deep breath. his cheek still burned where you had kissed him the night before. he really was going out of his mind.

"i want her so bad. and i think she might want me too." he prayed. to the church, to its wood, to the camellia trees, to the sky –he didn't know, he didn't care. "please let me be with her. please don't hurt her because of it, or shame her, or kick her out or whatever it is you do with sinners. i promise it’s not a bad thing. it’s so much purer than you think." he said.

no one answered, of course. there was just silence. some ruffling of the leaves because of the breeze, maybe the trebling chirp of a bird, but no answer. he felt like an idiot.

praying sucked, he ratified. how could you even make sure you were being listened to? it was emotional manipulation, playing with one's hope. feeling down and disappointed, he left.

˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

entering soobin’s house again would have felt like torture, were it not for the certainty that you lived there, too.

soobin never really left the house. he only went out to go to class in the mornings, and he still chose to skip as many as he could. not because he wasn't a good student, he was disturbingly accomplished. he just disliked the people.

every day, soobin locked himself in his room and studied relentlessly. he was determined to make something of himself and leave his stepfather’s house behind. he had a plan. beomgyu didn’t know the details of this plan—soobin never shared it, fearing it might be jinxed if spoken aloud—but it was clear that soobin believed hard work could get him out of that miserable house.

beomgyu thought that rhetoric too optimistic, alienated from reality. but still, he had some admiration for him. unlike beomgyu, who wallowed in his own misery instead of changing his situation, soobin searched for solutions.

beomgyu sometimes found him too sickly and rancorous, but he still looked up to him for his willpower. not that he would ever admit that to soobin.

so when beomgyu got to the house, certain that soobin would be there, he gave him a call. it was a code they had. soobin leaned out of his bedroom window, and threw down the keys for beomgyu to catch so that he could make his way in. 

as beomgyu climbed the creaky wooden stairs, he realised that the usual thrill and allure of sneaking around that house he had felt at night was dimmed in the daylight. he hated the smell of that place, too. the air inside was stuffy, filled with the faint scent of old wood and something slightly medicinal.

as he reached the top floor on his way to soobin’s room, he passed by a closed door. pristine surface, painted white. he knew immediately. a pink mother-of-pearl crucifix hung on the wood.

he stood in front of it, his heart quickening. inside that room lived his little bird, trapped in an evil cage. his angel, his obsession. he gladly would’ve shattered the door with his own hands. let his knuckles bleed, let the splintered wood stab into his fingers. he just wanted to take you away and set you free.

at first he maintained a cautionary distance. he feared that if he got any closer, he would actually do it. but then he saw the little plaque under the cross, in sterling silver, shining when the light hit it. he approached to read what it said.

"the lord is faithful. he will establish you and guard you against the evil one." it said.

beomgyu scoffed, a bitter smile curling his lips. like some metal plaque could protect her, he thought. he's the only dangerous thing in her life. that superstitious fool.

he found it bitterly amusing, to the point of feeding his ego. some cultures hang garlic on the doors to keep away the vampires and the witches. your daddy had hanged a nacre cross to keep choi beomgyu away from you.

he let his hand reach for the crucifix. he traced his fingers over it, middle and index. all the doors had a crucifix of their own, but yours was the only one that wasn't a choppy piece of wood, crude and utilitarian. his thoughts wandered as his fingers brushed over the cool, smooth surface. he must be aware of how pretty she is, beomgyu thought.

as he did, a noise startled him. he jolted away from the door, retreating as far as he could. only when he saw it was just soobin coming out of his room did he catch his breath.

“you were taking too long,” soobin said, his expression gloomy. “i didn’t like it.”

“you care for me that much?” beomgyu asked, a bitter grin spreading across his face as he walked up to him, hands in his pockets.

"well, i let you into my house, didn't i?" he asked, accusative.

"you did." beomgyu replied. “it's not versailles, but it’s cute. lots of quirky decorations.” he shrugged, poking at the crucifix that hanged on soobin’s door, tilting it slightly. "it's like a theme park."

"eveything’s a joke to you." soobin replied. he seemed distrusting, his chest filled with something he probably shouldn't say. but he did, anyway. “you need to forget about her."

“what are you talking about?” beomgyu raised his tone, a flicker of panic crossing his eyes, quickly masked by anger.

“i know you. you’re going to let your impulsiveness ruin everything for all of us. it won’t end well.” soobin said. “she's not like one of those girls you used to pick up at private schools. if you want to manipulate your way into someone's pants, choose someone else.”

beomgyu’s anger flared. how dared he imply those were his intentions? how dared he assume he had any other purpose than caring for his angel and godsend grace?

he took a violent step towards soobin, who flinched slightly but held his ground. “you think i’m dorian gray or some shit?” beomgyu retorted. “you're just pressed because i'm not a pussy like you, restraining yourself to please that maniac. but whatever happens, it won’t be because i forced myself on anyone."

“she doesn’t know what she wants." soobin said. "she’s confused and love deprived.”

“and you’re a patronising asshole,” beomgyu snapped back. "who are you to say anything?"

“you’re playing with fire. if you wanna be a psychotic masochist, fine. but don’t drag others into your mess. get yourself hurt if you want, but leave us out of it.”

“us?" beomgyu asked with a wicked grin. "she's an adult. she can make her own choices. and if your stepdad wants to mess with her because of it, it´ll be over my fucking dead body."

“is this how you repay me for letting you stay in my house?” soobin asked, a mix of hurt and frustration in his eyes.

“thing is," beomgyu began with a cynical laugh. "this isn’t about you. you shouldn’t be this bothered,” he said. “and if you are, maybe you should check yourself and see if you’re acting like your stepfather.”

soobin’s knuckles turned white, but he took a deep breath and held it in. “just. don’t do it." he said through gritted teeth. "it’s not worth it.”

but beomgyu grinned wickedly. he had one last bombshell, one last thing to get soobin fuming. “i’ll let you know if it's worth it or not when i have your sister go dumb on my cock.” he said, feeling a twisted sense of satisfaction.

he shouldn't have said it.

instead of getting angry, as he had intended to accomplish, soobin smirked, too. it was unsettling. beomgyu got a ghostly feeling about it.  "what is it?" he spat out.

soobin inclined his head slightly towards the room with the mother-of-pearl cross—the room of his little bird. beomgyu turned just in time to catch a sliver of a prying eye, peeking through a barely open door. your eye widened when it met beomgyu’s gaze, then you vanished, the door slamming shut.

shit. beomgyu's heart raced, his breath hitching.

soobin smiled, a hint of triumph in his eyes. "consider her warned."

˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

late at night, thoughts of you consumed beomgyu’s mind. he knew he had fucked up. he knew that now you probably thought he was a creep and never wanted to see him again. his mind raced, replaying the words he wished he could take back.

he could’ve played his cards right. go slow, ease you into it. but he wasn't that sure now. the uncertainty gnawed at him, twisting his insides with each passing thought.

soobin's room felt even stuffier than the night before, the air heavy and oppressive. the walls seemed to close in on him, making it hard to breathe. the need to see you pressed down on his chest, but lingering doubt kept him glued to the mattress.

a lone fly buzzed around, its annoying droning echoing through the room and fraying his nerves. each pass it made seemed to grow louder, amplifying his sense of confinement, maddening him.

his mind wouldn't shut up about you. you had struck him as someone who knew how to watch your back. he recalled how cautious you had been around him the previous night, like a dog used to being beaten flinches at the sight of a stick. but your eyes had never left his. not for a second. they seemed innocent, but not naive.

he liked that, he thought. that you were like him, smartened up by your environment. but he liked the innocence too, so much. an untouched you, drowning in chasteness and self-restrain.

uncaressed belly, uncaressed thighs, uncaressed sweet pussy. he could make you feel so good. that was all he could offer, all he could give you. he had nothing else.

he knew he should let the thought go. that he should start wrapping his mind around forgetting about you. but it was late, and he was tired, and the only picture that lingered in his mind was a pearl choker and a rosary over a tender neck.

with soobin's steady breathing beside him, perhaps even asleep, beomgyu lay staring at the ceiling. images of you fluttered behind his closed eyelids, all imaginations of his lovesick mind. illicit, probably, but fated.

he thought of your pretty lips whispering praises meant for him, kissing his cheeks, his jaw, the curve of his neck. he wanted to know the taste of your mouth, the softness of your touch.

had you even been kissed yet? with a father as twisted as yours, it seemed unlikely. beomgyu wanted you to never have been kissed. he wanted to teach you how to do it himself. eat your mouth out, nibble at your lips and press them gently. but not hurt you. that was new. 

he would start slow, so that you’d want more of him. then he'd deepen the kiss, his grip on you tight, giving into whatever you asked for, never letting you go hungry. the tingling started, the blood pumping.

pause. he thought as soon as he became aware that he was getting hard. his rational mind tried to assert control, to rein in his desires. you loser, just by thinking of kissing. be cold-minded. a voice told him. actions have consequences. 

the voice sounded a little like him, but it was surely an imposter. if it wasn't impulsive and hot-blooded, then it wasn't choi beomgyu. 

"i just want to apologise." he lied to himself as he sat up all of the sudden.

he slipped out of bed, his bare feet padding softly against the cool floor. he moved slowly, mindful of the creaking floorboards that threatened to betray his movements.

but a subtle rustle, not caused by him, echoed in the quiet room. the soft shuffle of fabric against skin. soobin was awake, and he had wanted to let him know. but beomgyu couldn't begin to care.

as he closed the door behind him, trying to make as little noise as possible, a sudden thud reverberated through the silence. "shit!" he cursed under his breath. another door in that corridor slammed shut with a resounding roar.

someone left a window open. air currents cause noise, beomgyu mused as he made his way down the dimly lit corridor, his steps quickening with purpose. tomorrow night, he thought, he would make sure all windows were closed before going to bed.

as he travelled the shadowy corridor, he got a chill. he kept hearing the ruffling of fabric, a doorknob twisting, steps against the wooden floor. a shiver went down his spine, but he told himself to forget about. it was all in his head.

he refused to let the silent threat your daddy stop him from seeing you. that liar, that imposter, that self-proclaimed god keeping everyone hostage in his castle of authoritarianism and indoctrination.

when he got to your door, the mother-of-pearl crucifix halted him like a policeman. it seemed more commanding now than it had earlier. it was stupid, he thought, how the night enhanced every feeling. 

the cross regarded him and he regarded the cross. “i just want to apologise,” he told jesus christ. “i said something stupid earlier today, and i wanna make better.” he tried to convince him.

it was just a symbolic plea. a desperate attempt to absolve himself of guilt, to make him feel less lustful, less like a pig. to find redemption in the eyes of a higher power. 

he thought about what soobin had said, about god, about your father, about right and wrong. maybe he wasn't as smart as he thought. maybe he was loosing the game and they were all making him go insane for good.

he debated whether to just turn back after the thought came to him that you didn't even want him there, anyway. how could you want him at all, after just one meeting where all he received was rejection?

sure, he got a quick kiss in the end, but it didn't outweigh the pulling away, the uncertainty, the avoidance. what was he worth, really? nothing. not even worth enduring a scolding from your dad, let alone the weight of guilt. he was making a fool of himself. better leave now before anyone got hurt for nothing.

but as he turned to walk away, his heart heavy and ready to toss aside, he heard a noise from inside the room.

a whimper. it was so faint he was sure his febrile mind had made it up. that he was so schizophrenically in lust he had made you escape that sound in his brain. a whimper. a sweet soft whimper. 

he tried to make sense of it by convincing himself that he heard you crying. he even allowed his sense of self-importance to fuel thoughts of bursting into the room and offering you his shoulder to cry on. to cuddle you, to comfort you.

but when he heard it the second time, his breath caught. this time it was a moan, unless his yearning mind was deceiving him. he pressed his ear to the door. he clearly heard a trail of soft muffled moans. restrained, but just so lewd to his feverish self. his face burned, his cock twitched.

index and middle finger reached slowly for the doorknob. they brushed over it, hesitating. maybe it was locked. and maybe that was for the better. the hand wrapped around it, twisted it slightly. it was open.

holding his breath almost to asphyxiation and in the most silent motion he had ever performed, he peaked in. 

god existed, he found out. his mouth went dry. like a bird in the clouds, surrounded by snowy plush blankets, he saw his little dove making herself feel so good against her pillow.

facing away from him, your legs draped on each side of it. your hips swayed, heavy and slow, as you tried to suppress the soft whimpers your throat escaped.

beomgyu pressed his lips together, teeth sinking into his lower lip until almost drawing blood. the messy nightdress, one delicate strap slipping off your shoulder. how the the silken fabric fell over your ass, not letting him see but inviting him to find out.

he wanted to see your doll face twisting in pleasure so desperately. to have you take in his cock and use him to fuck yourself so sweetly like that. only one door was stopping him. the door with the pink mother-of-pearl crucifix.

as though hypnotised, he quietly entered the room.

but when the door closed behind him with a click, you whirled around, eyes wide and breath catching in your throat. he froze in panic, too, as he saw how frightened you seemed. what the fuck were you expecting, you disgusting perv? came in the voice in his head.

your instinct was to retreat like a scared spider, flitting towards the head of your bed. fluffy white pillows framed your trembling body, with only a glimpse of your leg peeking out. your cheeks flushed with embarrassment, almost to an unhealthy degree, as you tried to cover yourself.

beomgyu took a cautious step forward, his obsession with you feeling safe in his presence outweighing how turned on he was. "please," he whispered, desperation in his voice. "don't be embarrassed." he said. or be. you're so adorable, all flustered like this.

"i… i'm sorry," you stuttered, your words hesitant.

beomgyu raised his eyebrow, an endeared chuckle escaping his lips. "you're sorry?"

"i shouldn't have… i…" you struggled, avoiding his gaze and pressing your hands to your head in frustration. anxiously, you began to hit your head with the heels of your hands. "i'm so pathetic."

without hesitation, beomgyu rushed closer, wrapping his hands around your wrists in the world’s softest handcuffs. "not at all," he murmured softly, his voice soothing as he attempted to coax your frightened gaze to meet his own.

quietly, almost reverently, he knelt at the edge of the bed, perching himself over the mattress like a praying supplicant.

he was so fucking hard, his blood boiling inside his pulsating veins. scorchingly, painfully. his hands trembled a bit on your wrists as he struggled to contain himself, like the scorpion resisting the urge to sting the frog and drown them both.

“i loved seeing you like that.” he managed out, eyes fixated on yours. “i’m the pathetic one, i sneaked in here like some creep. i... i'm so sorry about what i said earlier today. i was mad at soobin, trying to get under his skin. but i'm kinder than that. i can be, for you. you shouldn’t be scared of me. please.” 

"i’m not." you said.

"good," he said. "i want you to trust me."

"i think... i think i do."

beomgyu took one of your hands, already entwined with his, and raised it to his lips, planting a delicate kiss on the back. you didn't pull away, though a slight flinch ran through you. his voice, soft and concerned, cut through the quiet, "is this alright?"

you met his gaze, his eyes looking up at you dilated and pleading like a puppy's. you nodded silently, allowing him to continue.

he pressed his lips against your skin a few more times, the wet sounds his mouth made filling the room. with a heavy breath, you took in every detail of his gentle kisses—the way his plump lips pressed and nibbled at your skin, how slow, almost ritualistically.

"what were you thinking about?" he asked, his voice a muffled purr against your skin.

"w-what?" you stammered, trying to buy time as your mind raced to come up with a lie less embarrassing than the truth.

"you were so pretty like that just now, all spread out like a good girl...” he murmured softly, "tell me what got you like that."

you stalled. with an achingly slow movement, you mirrored his action. you brought his hand to your mouth, and brushed your lips over it. barely touched, almost imperceptibly.

a shiver down his spine. a sting to his heart. he watched you in awed stillness, his watering mouth half-open. then you whispered, "you."

"fuck, i– i want to do so many things to you. if you'll let me." he said. a blush crept across your cheeks as you instinctively tried to shy away, but his fingers beneath your chin guided you back to meet his gaze. "what did i do to get you like that? was it because of what you heard me say?" he asked.

"because of everything." you replied.

he moved up from the floor with deliberate slowness, each motion purposeful as if he were approaching a skittish forest creature, determined not to scare it away. cautious, he inched closer, finally settling beside you on the bed. "tell me." he said. "i wanna hear."

"you're smarter than daddy," you began to say, your voice mumbled, as you gazed at him, his features so close you could count the flecks of gold in his eyes. "daddy thinks he's god's chosen one, but you keep outplaying him. so what does that make you?"

"a hellhound," he replied with a cynical smile, drawing even nearer.

"no," you said softly, shaking your head in disagreement. "you're good. and you're sweet to me." with tender care, you brushed his bangs, your fingertips delicately tracing the contours of his face like a child exploring a new toy. you lingered over his brows, his long lashes, the graceful curve of his cupid's bow, and the strong line of his jaw. "and you're… really pretty."

an impulse like a mighty wave of devotion pushed beomgyu to cup your face, his thumb tracing delicate lines over your skin as he asked, voice barely more than a whisper, "have you ever been kissed?"

"yes." you nodded. though there was a flicker of fear in your eye, like he would've been disappointed at that lack of purity. but if he did, he said nothing.

"show me how you do it." he urged, his words a gentle plea as he drew closer, his breath mingling with yours.

you leaned in painfully still, the weight of his gaze bearing down on you. but just before your lips met, you paused. hesitated. this changed everything. but beomgyu met your gaze unwaveringly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of regret or doubt. then, with a soft smile, he encouraged you forward.

you brushed your lips against his, ever so slightly. it was a trembling little touch. chaste. when you pulled away, beomgyu's eyes remained fixed on you, half closed and drunk in longing.

he gently pivoted the hand that had cupped your face, trailing its back along the curve of your cheekbone to finally rest it at the nape of your neck. "so pretty," he whispered. "why are you so scared?"

"i don't want to disappoint you," you mumbled softly.

beomgyu's response was immediate, a fervent shake of his head. "never," he insisted, his voice a husky plea, "you're doing so well. please, kiss me again."

with trembling fingers, you reached up to his neck, your heartbeat a wild rhythm in your chest. you nestled his upper lip within yours. a little more intensely this time, but still experimental, like you were gingerly trying to color within the lines.

beomgyu was gone. you were so soft and plush and just so scared to do anything wrong. he lingered, his thumb tracing the outline of your lips. "they're mine now," he said in a low growl.

he took over, giving you a deep wet kiss. unrestrained, heavy like a lion’s roar. as you moved your lips together, beomgyu demanded more and more, leaving you breathless. one of his hands rested on your thigh, tentatively stroking, fondling over the skin, as if to soothe you, to tell you everything was alright.

he tilted his head, seeking depth in your mouth. one of your hands traced up the length of his chest and reached his neck, which you squeezed tightly as you felt his mouth opening yours to let his tongue in. you tensed. he noticed. “do you like that?” he asked, breath heavy.

“i... yes."

and so he did it again. another painfully lusty kiss that left your lips soaked and swollen. you escaped a moan that he loved so desperately, making him bite on your lower lip, drawing another embarrassingly whiny whimper out of you. after a softer peck, he outlined the bitten skin with his tongue.

he devoured your lips again, eating out your mouth. he slipped his tongue back into your mouth to circle yours, playing with it; then he pulled back, as if urging you to follow him. he wanted you to try yourself.

his hand on your thigh moved to embrace your waist, fingers poking into your skin. you felt firm, secure. in the middle of the unbridled kiss, your tongue ended up in his mouth. so soft. my good little girl. he let out a grunt of satisfaction. happy with his reaction, your instinct got you to hold on to him tighter, trying to find a closeness that was impossible in that position.

he got frustrated at it, too, his groans turning into hummed pleading moans against your lips. for a painful second, he pulled away to say, "let me watch you fuck yourself, just like you were when i came in. please." he said. "would you be comfortable with that?" he asked. 

you nodded slightly, though you weren't even sure you were telling the truth. they were irreconcilable, avoiding embarrassment and giving in to the aching sensation in your pussy the moment he spoke those words.

he stretched his arm out toward the pillow, gently offering it to you, observing as you knelt on the bed and retook the position he had found you in. he helped you through it, caring for you with caresses and soft kisses, but he went back to seat at the edge of the mattress, gnawing lightly on his lip with anticipation. you didn't want that, you realised. you wanted him close.

you reached out your hand for him to grasp, "what is it, baby?" he asked, tending to you with gravity.

you guided him towards you, maneuvering him to recline half-seated against the bedhead. he caught on to your intentions and leaned in to give you a gentle peck before allowing his hands to settle on your hips, helping you in adjusting the pillow beneath you.

now on all fours, with him facing you, he noticed you wanted to say something, the words lingering on your lips. "is everything alright?" he asked, his hand tenderly caressing your arm.

you stammered a bit before shyly asking, “can you keep on kissing me?”

he smiled fondly. he would never in a million years be able say no to you. “of course, my angel.”

he drew nearer, his proximity warming you up. having him there like that, you didn't need to support yourself on your arms- instead, you found yourself instinctively clinging to his neck. with a mellow kiss and his hands firmly securing their hold on your hips, he led the start of the back and forward motion.

the first reactions the rubbing of your clit against the fabric drew out were subdued, mere soft moans and gentle breaths mingling with his the plush of beomgyu’s lips. but with his grasp pressing you down, those initial movements evolved into more intense and profound ones.

he let one of his hands abandon your hips to entwine his fingers in the strands of your hair. the louder your moans got, the tighter his grip on it. he was so hard, with no escape for it. but he liked the pain, the desperation. "you sound so beautiful, fuck–" he breathed out. "but i'm gonna feel so much better than that."

the promise echoed in your mind, getting you to let out a crying plead, "p-please, beomgyu..." you moaned out, as you fumbled with your hand to find his.

"you want me to help you out?" he asked, almost like it was a privilege.

"mhm," you whimpered with a sheepish, frantic nods.

"cute." he breathed out. his face was flushed and burning hot, his cock ached uncomfortably, but he spartanly focused on his little angel’s pleasure above anything else.

he wrapped his arms around your waist and took you to his lap, where he held you tight. "are you comfortable like this?" he asked, placing a a soft peck to your forehead.

"yes." you answered, embarrassingly. you were wet to the point of dampening your inners thighs, and you were mortified to have him see, to even stain him. but he'd notice soon enough.

he grunted as he kept on kissing down your face. your temples, the tip of your nose, the corner of your mouth, your ridiculously tasty lips. he held on to your waist for dear life with one of his arms, but allowed the other to travel down, slowly and deviantly towards your virgin pussy.

"you're soaked, my baby." he breathed out. you would've felt self-conscious at the exposure, but you saw in his eyes how bad he liked it. how starved and aroused he seemed when he began to caress your wet cunt with his slender fingers.

his cold touch startled you at first, making you hold on to his neck tighter. you were too sore, too sensitive. "don't be scared. i'm gonna take such good care of you," he said. "i promise."

tentatively, he stroked over the surrounding area of your aching centre, index and middle finger touching softly over your wetness. he performed circling motions in your clit, taking his time. getting to hear you. “b-beomgyu, you—god—you feel really good…”

he learned that when you liked something he did, you'd shower him in desperate soft pecks, like a puppy licks your hand after you pat its head. he wanted to see you react further, he wanted to try it all. he spread your pussy with both fingers and pressed forcefully against your throbbing clit with a third one. startled, you clutched his hair so firmly you feared you might have hurt him.

as by instinct, your thighs twitched from the overstimulation and seemed to want to close around his hand, but he didn't let them. he shushed into your lips with a soft "shhh," soothing as the seashore before leaning in for a honeyed kiss. he traced patterns against your cheek with his nose after pulling away. "its alright. you're doing so fucking well."

he let you catch your breath, but not for too long. he quickened his pace, your moans getting too loud, wept out and filthy enough to horrify all the saints in the house of god. it became a duel of you trying to suppress yourself and keep it quiet, and beomgyu trying to get everyone in the house to know how good he was for you.

to restrain the growing sound of your moaning, you buried your face into beomgyu’s neck, trying to muffle your voice against his body. but he huffed into your ear, "don't hold back. only you and me matter, no one else."

"i think i–" you whimpered into his ear, choking on your own puffs. the pleasure crept up on you, becoming too strong to bear and making your whole body shudder against his. "beomgyu, please..." you cried out.

he saw how close you were, and quickly thought if he should or should not stop it. tease you, edge you, have you go on all night. he could do so many things, he ached so much to do them all. but as he saw your pretty face so desperate to cum, how needy and palpitating, you were, he decided he had all the time in the world.

his movements quickened, each motion filled with urgency and strength. his veiny, strained forearm bore the weight of the world as he got you to your peak.

you came with a stifled cry but you muted your voice against his neck again. he wished he could've heard it in its full, piercing clarity, but he understood. you were so sheepish, his perfect little girl.

he didn't pull his hand away immediately, instead letting you feel his warmth for a little longer as you trembled against his chest. "my baby, you did so well," he whispered into your ear, his voice a soothing balm as he gently cradled your body.

now that the tension had drained from your limbs, you found yourself collapsing against him, your body limpy and worn out. it was then that you noticed the bulge in his pants. "beomgyu…" you murmured, your voice heavy. "teach me how to help you out."

"forget about me," he replied with a gentle smile. "i just wanted to get you to trust me tonight. to show you how good i can make you feel." 

you gazed at him, cherishing his handsome features. his cheeks were flushed, too, and his eyes so gentle. you couldn't help but cup his face in your hands, drawn to him. but as you leaned in to kiss him, he stopped you faintly, saying, "wait. don't kiss me. i want you to have something to look forward to, so you'll be excited to see me again tomorrow."

"you'll come back tomorrow?" you asked, your eyes lighting up with hope.

“i couldn’t stay away even if i wanted to,” he replied. but as he said it, he noticed a flicker of guilt crossing your face. gently, he brushed a strand of hair away from your reddened cheek. "how are you feeling?" he asked softly.

your gaze darkened slightly. "like i shouldn't have done it," you admitted. "like daddy saw everything."

"i'm… sorry," beomgyu said, his voice full of consternation.

"no, it's not your fault. those thoughts aren't real. i can make the guilt go away, in time," you reassured him. "but i like it when you hold me. that's real. i… like you. a lot, i think."

beomgyu didn't even know what to say. he struggled to understand how this could be wrong to any human religion or faith since the dawn of time, because to him this felt like heaven. he held you in his arms, all flushed and a little tired, your lips swollen like ripe cherries from the kisses he had given you. this was fucking nirvana for all he cared.

he deeply regretted his no-kissing rule, and he sought to end it immediately. he leaned in, but you stopped him.

"no," you chuckled, "don't kiss me. i want you to have something to look forward to so that you're excited to come back tomorrow."

he smiled back at you, like an absolute fool. maybe he was in love, even if it only had been a day, whatever. but how could he not be when he had the cutest being in existence all to himself? "give me a gift before i go, then," he said. "something i can carry with me.

"what do you want?" you asked.

"this," he said, pointing at your rosary beads. with a gesture that felt almost ceremonial, you took off the pendant and placed it around his neck. as you did, he couldn’t help but stare at your lips. "can’t i kiss you just a little?" he pouted.

you shook your head with a soft giggle. "your rules," you reminded him. "be stronger."

“fine. have it your way.”

he smiled, but it quickly vanished as you remembered him; “you should go. or soobin will know.”

he nodded, eyes filled with disappointment. the moment you lifted yourself off his lap, detached yourself off of him, an intense wave of pain surged through both of you. like a limb had been atrociously ripped off your body.

but just as he was about to leave, you grabbed his wrist, halting him. “beomgyu, wait,” you called out, rising to your knees to meet his gaze.

you pressed a gentle, lingering kiss on his cheek, just as you had done the night before. the softness of your touch sent a shiver down his spine. as you pulled back, beomgyu instinctively leaned forward, craving more. but you placed your index finger against his lips, stopping him. “you’re so weak,” you teased with a playful glint in your eyes.

he smiled ruefully. “i am,” he admitted with a sigh, the weight of reality settling back in. he really had to leave. “good night,” he murmured.

stepping out into the dark, the world felt colder, and his eyes struggled to adjust to the dimness. he lingered for a moment, leaning his back against the door, not wanting to leave just yet, but his head bumped against something.

of course.

he turned around to regard the crucifix, holding the one you had given him in his hands. same color, same material. a bittersweet smile played on his lips. “she was so good,” he told jesus christ. “and i think i made her happier, just a little. i feel a little happier too. i told you, it was much purer than you think.”

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ next part

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ so. i really struggled through this one. lemme know what you think.

[scotland]

Sunset over Ceann Hulavig stone circle on the Isle of Lewis 🌅

Ceann Hulavig is an ancient stone circle located on the Isle of Lewis in the Outer Hebrides, Scotland. This prehistoric site, also known as the Callanish IV stone circle, is part of a broader collection of megalithic structures known collectively as the Calanais Stones (or Callanish Stones). The Ceann Hulavig circle consists of standing stones arranged in a circular pattern and dates back to the Neolithic period, approximately between 3000 and 2000 BCE.

The Calanais Stones are a significant archaeological ensemble comprising several stone circles, standing stones, and other prehistoric structures scattered across the region. The primary and most famous site is the Calanais I, which features a central stone circle with a cruciform arrangement of monoliths extending from it. These ancient monuments are believed to have been constructed for ceremonial or ritualistic purposes, and they are aligned in ways that suggest an astronomical function, possibly related to lunar and solar cycles.

The exact purpose of the Calanais Stones remains a subject of ongoing research and debate. Theories suggest they could have served as a place of worship, a community gathering site, or an ancient astronomical observatory. The alignment of the stones indicates a sophisticated understanding of astronomy among the Neolithic people who built them.

Ceann Hulavig, like the other Calanais sites, offers valuable insights into the prehistoric past and the spiritual and social lives of the ancient inhabitants of the Isle of Lewis. These sites continue to attract researchers, historians, and tourists, drawn by their historical significance and the mystery that still surrounds their original use.

[sovenusian]

Matured Energy of Each Sun Sign

(does not to relate to what age you are.)

A matured Aries is a master communicator and story teller, they can easily pull and hold the attention of the crowd on them, only this time it is to shine light on something beyond them, and it's usually the wisdom they have gathered on their spiritual journey of having the self as the center of their wants and needs.

A matured Taurus is the tamed bull. They become much more calm and understanding of ways of life and mindsets differing from their own, and don't feel the need to make known, how thorough their stances on their beliefs are. They loosen up a bit, like a Cane Corso allowing a rambunctious chihuahua to feign dominance.

A matured Gemini uses the seemingly fractured personality to create genius works and can masterfully connect with any age group or walk of life. They respect they are the embodiment of "I have an idea" but on drugs (lol) and live in that truth. They don't provide tolerance for what they do not like around them.

A matured Cancer stopped being petty and stops wading in the murky waters of emotional manipulation, and starts wielding these energies as gift, for others. You may not find a more generous, selfless, nurturing being. They have the strength to grow other people and bring what's dead back to life.

A matured Leo finally takes more pride in the impact of it's works, more than the ability to do them or be recognized for being the one to do them. They enjoy showing the character traits that truly make them beautiful. The humility they acquire despite having achieved a great deal of refinement, is what becomes what makes them shine at their brightest.

A matured Virgo learned to put themselves, their hearts truly first. Their dutiful and ambitious drives have taught them their accompanying lessons, which are to allow yourself to relax, you are enough, you really are so damn dope, and comparing your output to the logistics was a stressful way to live and that is, the past. It's a death to criticism and a birth to healthy analyzation.

A matured Libra has learned how to be in love with love, in a healthy way. In love with Real Love; with the raw energy and authenticity of it's energy, that way when humans and opportunities come around that claim to be Love, they can be distinguishing and keep their own heart set on what they have learned to be it's truth. They have mastered detachment.

A matured Scorpio has adjusted their perspective, placing the abilities of being extremely passionate and emotionally intense, only in situations that don't create more chaos. Their lifelong journey for true power has moved them into a space where they are more settled and accomplished. They learn the rhythm of life and can finally become selfless, and this is where their energy is truly it's most powerful.

A matured Sagittarius is the ember stage of fire; warm, spreading and long lasting. The knowledge and philosophies acquired over the years are now steeped, grounded in substance and embedded in a person that can finally sit down long enough, and have the patience, to share it's inspirations. Their habit to be generous and spreading have switched out it's impulsive nature for selectivity and self- preservation.

A matured Capricorn drops the shrewdness, and can be an exemplified patriot of what they stood for when they initially started their ambitious climb of hard earned success. They realize just because they are the goats, does not mean anybody and everything are the rocks and steps to ascend upon, and they warm their heart up enough to trust others with their vulnerabilities. They retire their need to be serious for the upholding of the many responsibilities all Capricorns are dealt, and they let that beautiful ability to entertain and bring joy be what they now lead and corale others with.

A matured Aquarius honors the unbeaten path they chose and created by tooth and nail, by sharing with others the lessons learned from it. Their ability to be friendly and connect with anyone, becomes more filled out, & it becomes harder for them to be perceived as disingenuous, because they can now choose the role they'll play in the life of every individual they meet, and share the gems needed like the sages they were born to be. They feel the freedom to become even more obscure.

A matured Pisces is a vessel of universal love. They spend their lives being a collage of all the human personality could offer, from kind to cruel, yielding to stubborn, and they take each lesson from their colorful experiences, and only extract the most optimistic, high frequency wisdom from them. They keep their mystery while their ability to impart love to others unfolds endlessly.

[obsidian-pages777]

Pick a Card: Career Guidance

Top Left to Right--> Pile 1, Pile 2

Bottom Left to Right--> Pile 3. Pile 4

================================================================================================

Pile 1

Current Situation: The Chariot

You are determined and focused on your career goals, moving forward with purpose and direction. There's a sense of control and determination driving your actions.

Challenges: Five of Wands

You may be facing competition or conflict in your workplace. There could be differing opinions and struggles that make it hard to progress smoothly.

Advice: Strength

Rely on your inner strength and patience to navigate through challenges. Maintain self-control and approach conflicts with compassion and understanding. Your resilience will lead you to success.

Ideal Careers:

Leadership Roles: Positions such as a manager, director, or CEO, where determination and leadership are crucial.

Entrepreneur: Running your own business where you can harness your drive and overcome competition.

Project Management: Roles that require strong organizational skills and the ability to navigate conflicts and challenges.

Military or Law Enforcement: Careers that require discipline, determination, and the ability to handle conflict and stress.

Athletics or Coaching: Where physical and mental strength, as well as resilience, are important.

================================================================================================

Pile 2

Current Situation: The Hierophant

Your career path is currently influenced by traditional structures and conventional methods. You may be working within an established system or organization.

Challenges: Seven of Cups

There may be confusion or too many options available, making it difficult to choose the right path. Avoid getting lost in illusions or wishful thinking.

Advice: The Hermit

Take time for introspection and seek inner guidance. Reflect on your true goals and values before making decisions. Solitude and self-reflection will provide clarity.

Ideal Careers:

Education: Teacher, professor, or academic advisor, where traditional knowledge and guidance are valued.

Religious or Spiritual Leader: Priest, minister, or spiritual counselor, providing guidance within established belief systems.

Legal Profession: Lawyer, judge, or paralegal, working within the structures of the legal system.

Research and Academia: Careers that involve deep study and reflection, such as a researcher or academic.

Counseling or Therapy: Roles that require introspection and helping others find clarity, such as a therapist or counselor.

================================================================================================

Pile 3

Current Situation: Ace of Pentacles

A new opportunity or beginning in your career is emerging. This could be a job offer, a new project, or a chance to start something new with strong potential for growth.

Challenges: The Devil

Be wary of falling into negative patterns or becoming too attached to material success. Avoid temptations that could lead to unethical behavior or burnout.

Advice: Page of Swords

Approach new opportunities with curiosity and a willingness to learn. Stay vigilant and gather information before making decisions. Be clear and honest in your communication.

Ideal Careers:

Finance: Banker, financial advisor, or investment analyst, where new opportunities for growth are abundant.

Real Estate: Real estate agent or property manager, involving new ventures and potential for substantial growth.

Technology: IT specialist, software developer, or tech entrepreneur, where continuous learning and vigilance are key.

Journalism: Reporter, editor, or content creator, focusing on gathering and disseminating information.

Consulting: Business consultant or analyst, providing strategic advice and insights to businesses.

================================================================================================

Pile 4

Current Situation: Three of Cups

Collaboration and teamwork are currently significant in your career. You may be part of a supportive group or network, enjoying camaraderie and shared goals.

Challenges: Four of Pentacles

There could be a tendency to hold on too tightly to security or resources, leading to stagnation. Fear of change or loss may be preventing growth.

Advice: The Star

Stay hopeful and keep a positive outlook. Trust in the universe and your vision for the future. This is a time for healing, inspiration, and aligning with your true purpose.

Ideal Careers:

Event Planning: Event coordinator or wedding planner, where collaboration and teamwork are essential.

Human Resources: HR manager or recruiter, fostering a positive and collaborative workplace environment.

Creative Arts: Artist, musician, or performer, involving collaboration and shared creative goals.

Non-Profit or Community Work: Community organizer, social worker, or NGO worker, focusing on collective well-being and humanitarian goals.

Healthcare: Nurse, doctor, or therapist, providing care and support with a focus on healing and hope.

[b1asho]

Huzzahh, it's species number 3! (There's a total of 6, including humans. 7 if you count artificial intelligences, 8 if you count the uhh other intelligences).

An official up to date visual for everyone's favorite communist amphibians, the Kixeli.

Kixeli are a small sentient species hailing from a planet covered mostly in ocean. They are amphibious, and originally evolved to switch between swimming and climbing using their webbed hands and powerful arms.

Their skin is permeable, allowing them to extend their time underwater to hunt and gather as well as reproduce, but due to their larger body and brain size/oxygen needs this isn’t sustainable and they must return to the surface.

Alongside their frequent trips outside the water, they also have a mucus layer and several specialized glands (including in their face by their eyes) to help remove excess salt and change levels of urea in their body to help make sure they dont lose resources when in the ocean.

Kixeli are omnivorous, with a focus on fruits and sealife. many cultures have a preference against eating anything that lives above water, including birds and the like, because they see themselves as spiritual equals to those animals as fellow air breathers.

They are oviparous, and have a specific mating season.

Most Kixeli have multiple variable spawn partners and see it as strange to be nailed down to one. Anyone who participated lays their eggs in a communal tide pool carved out in their communities.

Hatchlings are entirely aquatic wirh gills until later months of age, where they will begin to poke their head above water for air and start interacting more with the adults around them, who feed them a nutritive crop milk as they have already absorbed most of their tail by now.

This period is also the beginning of their understanding of language.

Once they lose their tail and grow in their limbs, they are still mostly helpless until those fully develop and myst cling to a caretaker adult in the community (blood parents don’t necessarily always raise their own children, but as someone who laid eggs they are responsible for children as a caretaker so anyone who didn’t want eggs gets left alone).

During their puberty, they will develop adult skin markings, and some can even end up changing sexes (much for the same reason some of them grow gliding membranes, as the result of population and resources balance in their surroundings).

Speakijg of that, there are two categories of Kixeli in their communities: Kel (swimmer) and Arasit (flier).

Arasit are just a rare continuation of their life cycle, since most Kixeli kids end up growing into Kel adults.

Sometimes, though, an Arasit will develop in case the community strongly needs to seek out new territory over long distance (triggered by close proximity to many other Kixeli and a variety of other unknown gactors, like grasshoppers turnkng into locusts.) They can’t truly fly, but they can use the powerful ocean winds and even some launching technology to glide very far to scout new resources and other communities).

Arasit are highly celebrated as voyagers, but Kel are also valued as providers for their existing community and even accompany voyages on ships to help their Arasit stay alive.

Some Arasit will cut and cauterize their membranes to make it easier for them to swim to symbolize they are staying in the community, though usually, they just poke small holes in there so they can wear clothes and be sanitary.

Their blood uses the hemocyanin molecule to carry oxygen, making their blood a bright blue when oxygenated and a thin blue/clear when unoxygenated (so you can see the other warmish colored pigments in there when it’s inside them, that yellowish stuff)

Their ancestors dwelled in deeper, cooler water where this blood type was most advantageous, but a global warming period brought them up to warm waters and eventually above the surface to capitalize on resources.

During this process, they developed some ways to improve the molecule’s lower efficiency in the heat. For one, they kept a small body size so there’s less to deal with. Another thing is that they get oxygen (albeit a small amount) from all over their body constantly through their skin, also somewhat making up for it.

The main mechanism, though, is their metabolism/temperature. They can quickly adjust their metabolism depending on the oxygen conditions in their surroundings to prevent immediate failure if they don’t have access to the right conditions to otherwise cope (this, and along with hemocyanin’s natural ability to handle low oxygen and their skin breathing, means they can tolerate very low oxygen areas that would cause a human to faint, though they’ll typically be pretty out of commission too, and this can have longer lasting effects on their health from the whiplash.)

they use their surroundings for heat when they aren’t doing anything too strenuous, and because they aren’t really producing much of their own they can tolerate even higher temperatures that would normally put them out of commission (and they actually heavily rely on that heat for ease in a lot of other processes), to do anything that has bigger oxygen needs, they can dip into cooler water/shade for periods of higher activity (but can’t stay too cold for too long or else aforementioned other processes will shut down, though it does increase the effectiveness to the point where they can do a whole lot and allows them to swim/navigate cooler areas where their early competitors couldn’t return to, it only as long as they got back quickly and warmed up)

they basically swing between these two extremes but tend to stay at a warmish middle-ground, wearing heating pads on part of their body while still letting larger areas cool off, if that makes sense.

Hemocyanin’s other properties don’t automatically give them a longer life, in fact theirs is very short compared to other species, but it does make them resistant to cancers (a common threat on their sunny planet) and the spread of diseases in their dense communities

Being cold-blooded wasn’t a problem on their mostly tropical planet. It is a considerable problem once they left it, though, hence the heating pads most wear to warm up.

many also live in areas without a large body of water nearby (or an easy way to access said body of water) but still need to stay damp to maintain their music layer and trap oxygen, so many also carry spray bottles or wet rags with them to always stay damp.

Kixeli are highly social (with their name even roughly translating to "belonging together"). they rarely live in groups of less than 5.

They experience severe negative side effects from isolation. Their naturally intense empathy also makes it extremely damaging for them to see other Kixeli injured or dead, sometimes leading to their own death from shock if they were the one that did it (though this has not stopped wars over their scarce resources in the past, typically because that intense sense of kinship was naturally strongest towards those among their own community, and if Their community was suffering then they had to get rid of the source of it by any means. )

This period nearly drove them to extinction, and led to a Global Community movement that argued for intercommunity cooperation and the end of 'us and them thinking'.

Due to their sliminess, Kixeli normally keep clothing to a minimum and overall don’t have a need for it beyond temperature control and ornamentation.

They have none of their own social taboos about nakedness, having no external genitalia, but still often clothe themselves to the standards of others due to the pressure/need to be polite from other species.

They also have few class divides within their own communities, with everyone working for the good of the whole, and no sex/gender roles beyond squirter and egg layer since everyone cares for the eggs.

To humans, their language sounds like birdsong, with lots of repetitive noises and subtle shifts in pattern and tone.

Their unique vocalization makes their languages hard to learn and even harder to speak, but they themselves are incredible mimics (only surpassed in some ways by humans because lips and teeth).

The fin on their forehead is similar to eyebrows in communicating emotion or tone. They can see a similar color spectrum to humans and love bright contrasting colors similar to their own skin patterns.

They favor “fast food”, or anything that can be carried easily as you swing around in a tree or on a boat.

Payment/restaurants doesn’t really exist for them, they just have areas where food brought in by providers is available to the community (or people just eat what they catch and then bring extra to the community.)

They also don’t chew their food, though some dishes are meant to be squished to the roof of the mouth with the tongue to experience the flavor

Their clothing is often “readable” in that many individuals wear clothing that represents a certain story, event in their life, event in their community, or mythical hero that can be derived from looking at their clothing from the head down.

In the two guys up there, the Arasit is wearing the equivalent of booty shorts cut scantily close to their Hole depicting one version about the founding of the first community (though a simplified one, so it’s actually more like the equivalent of wearing a crop top tee with a little monochrome dog on it or something).

This kind of imagery is common among Arasit, even modern ones, because founding/birth/life are their associations in religious cultures.

The Kel alongside them is wearing a more complex getup meant to show the inciting incident of one of the nomadic communities mythic hero’s journey, when he was cast from the star sea by the wicked Long Arms into the deep sea.

This would be seen as all most goth since this part of the story is seen as eerie and it depicts their underworld along the hem and bracelets.

By wearing clothing associated with a specific figure//story, they can also show gender identity based on whether that figure or hod was male, female, neuther, etc(helping people draw the right conclusions despite the visible evidence of their sex written on all their skin. The clothing and any makeup done on the fin is usually their main reference point for judging how to address someone. )