#community college art class will fix me i just know it

[disastercit]

one thing i struggle with in art and havent really made any effort to fix is the way that the torso and shoulders connect and i feel like im gonna have to address it for these plans to work smh

[invitationtoher]

You're in my Way, Cage. | Chapter 1: Kitana

Masterlist

Summery: Kitana Edenia, smart, beautiful, and stressed. With dreams of becoming a doctor due to her sister, Mileena, having a major case of chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS). Throughout her entire school life she's been focused on her goal of getting into the very same college that her mother and father went to and fell in love at, Mortal Kampus University (MKU), an ivy league school where the only people are intelligent as they are talented. Kitana vows to make her mother proud with no distractions, at least that was the plan until she met an obnoxious dirty blonde in her English Class.

Jonathan Carlton? No, he's Johnny Cage! Hollywood's next big star! He may not act as smart as he actually is, but he shines when it comes to entertainment, if it's on the screen or behind the scenes Johnny can do it all, thanks to the Carlton family being in the film industry for generations. Thanks to his parents money and his acting and martial arts talents (as well as writing), he got a scholarship to MKU's theater department! He knows MKU will be a good time, it's his chance to make his own name. When he sees a pretty girl in his English class whose walls seem unbreakable, he vows to break down those walls and see the real her by showing her a film.

            I always knew I was going to get into an ivy league school. My father always told me and my sister that we were born to make the world a better place, and that if he could become a governor, we could too- hell, possibly even more. So, when I got my acceptance letter to MKU, I just showed it to my parents and let them do the celebrating for me. My sister, Mileena, was also incredibly happy for me, since she is not able to attend a physical campus due to her illness.

            “I swear, you’re like a robot!” Mileena teased at my nonchalant response of getting into one of the best schools in the country, I smiled and rolled my eyes at her teasing. Of course I was excited, just not as excited as everyone else since I knew it would happen. It sounds super cocky, I know, but I was a firm believer in working hard to get what you wanted, and I worked damn hard to get into MKU. It’s like MKU was the only thing on my mind, I was volunteering constantly, I was taking college classes at a local community college, I was working jobs, joining clubs, job shadowing, and making connections within the already busy schedule of a high school student that was also attending a technical school to get a head start on their career. Although, I wanted to follow my father’s footsteps to a T, and that is exactly what I did with a different goal in mind.

            “Oh, Kitana, we’re so proud of you!” My father exclaimed with his phone in hand in front of the house, I could hear him trying to hold back his tears as Mileena teased him about it causing playful bickering as my mother fixes my hair. I scrunch my nose in slight annoyance as she messes with my long, black locks that were in my usual half-up half-down hairstyle. Although I know there was nothing wrong with my hair (and she knew it too), I would be a fool to protest my mother. When she stepped back, squinting her eyes a little to see if she missed any of the “imperfections” of my hair.

            “Smile, Ki!” My father said, on instinct I smiled brightly, the way I did during school pictures. I tried my best not to squint at the flash of my father’s phone, the bright lights blinding me in the still dark sky. He lowered his phone once he finally got a picture he was satisfied with, I blinked rapidly to get rid of the little black dots that scattered across my vision as Mileena quickly walked over to me and squeezed me into a tight hug.

            “Kick ass today, Kitana.” She whispered into my ear so mother would not hear her, a small giggle escaped my lips as I hugged her back and nodded my head, my smile dropping into its usual neutral position.

            “I will, if you need anything at all, call me.”

            “I’ll be okay, it’s a good spoon day.” She replied, I let out a small sigh of relief while she pulled away from the hug, her eyes looking into mine. “Good luck on your first day.”

            “You too, Mileena.” I say as I adjust my black puffer bag on my shoulder, I walk over to my father and hugged him tightly. The hug was bittersweet, my father had a trip to Washington D.C. for work, meaning that I have no idea when I’ll get to see him again. We were slow to pull away from each other, I gave him a melancholic smile and a small nod.

            “Good luck, father.” I said, he nodded back at me as he cleared his throat, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he did so.

            “Good luck, daughter.” I let out a small laugh at his lame attempt to mock my formalities, he wiped his eyes before leaving me and walking over to Mileena to give her a goodbye hug. My smile slowly flattened as I walked up to my mother, preparing myself for her advice.

            My mother was one of the smartest people I know, Sindel Edenia- who also went to MKU like my father, though she majored in law- is everything I wanted to be: strong, intelligent, intimidating, the list could go on. Although she is kind to me and my sister, she is also very intimidating, never putting the lawyer’s act away. She’s blunt, and she could pick you a part layer by layer like a cat with a dead mouse, she’d gut you until she got the truth.

            “Kitana, I expect you to do your best.” She said, folding her arms across her chest and pulling her purple knitted cardigan close to keep herself warm from the chilliness of late August. I bit my bottom lip gently, tasting my strawberry flavored Glossier lip balm.

            “Of course, mother, I worked too hard to disappoint.” My response earns me a small smile from my mother, she hesitantly opens her arms wide and steps forward. She hugs me, not as tightly as father or Mileena, but enough to where I can smell her elegant perfume that had the comforting smell of vanilla and jasmine. My body tenses up a bit, but I eventually hugged her back, it’s very rare that I receive hugs from my mother after 6th grade. She only hugs us for special occasions or for family photos.

            “Don’t go messing around with those foolish college boys either, you’re too smart for that.” She whispers in my ear as she runs her hand through my hair. I nod my head again, a small, shaky sigh escaping my lips.

            “Of course, mother.” I say as we pulled away from each other, I give everyone a final wave before walking to my car, pulling my keys out of my bag and fiddling with the little blue fan keychain on it that I got from my grandparents when we visited them in Taiwan. My mother’s words echoed through my head as I get into the driver’s seat of my blue 2019 Chevy Malibu, I placed my bag on the passenger’s seat before pressing the push to start button and buckling myself up. I hooked up the Bluetooth to my phone and put on my playlist before I backed out of the driveway and made my way to school.

            I never had a boyfriend before, I thought I was way too good for the boys in my grade- thanks to my mother putting that idea into my head- of course I had crushes, everyone has crushes. But I would never act on them, I felt like I would’ve disappointed my mother with my choice in men. She expected Mileena and I to get with men with a financially stable job, one that can take care of us and our children; however, I feel like Mileena has already found that person. As for me, it sounded nice, it sounded like something I should be striving for- but it just felt… off in a way. I can’t really explain it to myself, maybe it’s me being jealous of my own suspicions of Mileena finding someone to love just by her blushing and giggling at her phone screen as she typed in rapid fire speeds. I guess I’ll just have to cross that bridge when I get there.

            The college was roughly a twenty-minute drive from my home, it’s not a bad drive except if I’m driving behind someone who doesn’t know that you don’t have to go under the speed limit. I was lucky since it seemed that people were in a rush this morning, guess I’m not the only one who didn’t want to dorm and were close enough to commute.

            I was lucky enough to get a parking spot close to the technology building, I only had four classes today and my first one was Intro to computers, then Chemistry, then Microbiology, and then finally English. It didn’t seem like a bad first day, I’d keep my head low, do my work, and then I should be out in no time, nothing’s going to distract me from getting what was barely in reach now.

I worked too hard to let anyone get in my way, and I won’t let anyone get in my way.

© invitationtoher 2024

[sapphic-story]

What's Lee working on in 2024?? A Mini Guide:

I have a better job with slightly less hours so hopefully it is time for creative things again yippee!! Text under cut

Slide 1:

Liho (comic)

Themes: definitions of love, social expectations, relationships dynamics, idealization

Welcome to the loveliest campus in the world, protected by the ever adored Cupid Heart!

Ifeolewa is a sophomore college student that has been chosen to become a magical girl and defend the sanctity of love around her school!

…unfortunately, Ife has a 5th grader’s understanding of love at best and doesn’t quite understand the complexities of modern relationships and romances.

Now, Ife juggles school, fighting villains, “fixing relationships”, and trying to win the heart of her crush, Liho (her best friend’s incredibly recent ex-girlfriend).

Slide 2:

Slips of the Stars (comic)

Themes: loneliness, abandonment, free will vs fate, individual perspective

Kaasey “Slips” Marion is a aimless, bored, burnt out college student who doesn’t know where they’re going in life. 

They’re also convinced that every person around them is literally in a story, meticulously recording the story details in her notebook. They believe they are a background character in these stories, probably for comic relief.

Also, every day the world ends and then she wakes up at the beginning of the day again. 

That one’s new.

Slips has to step out of the shadows and work with her main characters to figure out what’s happening, why, who’s causing it, and how to help this story finally have its happy ending before time runs out.

Slide 3:

Hospital Food (achronological ergodic novel-y thing..?)

Themes: Mental health and chronic illness, identity, multigenerational relationships, life and what could lie beyond it (if anything)

Sickly new employee Ward devoted her time and energy to her new job at an inpatient care facility for individuals with deadly parasites eating them alive. Ward and her team fought day and night to save patient lives from the very same parasites that threatened Ward’s life more and more every second.

Now, Ward, her coworkers, and their clients are nowhere to be found. The facility they worked and stayed at no longer exists. 

What happened? Where did they go? Is anyone left alive? All that’s left are the forgotten files, notes, and memos collecting dust in abandoned desks and drawers, waiting to be discovered.

Slide 4:

Other odds and ends 

I share story custody with some friends on some things about spies, zombie apocalypse, urban fantasy mysteries, and more magical girls

You might see me posting about an experiment I did polling college students about loneliness and their relationship to technology

Additionally might also just generally see things for my class/work 

There’s also a lot of story ideas and tropes that I really like (see next slide) so you’ll see a lot of very specific tags regarding those concepts 

I like playing with different mediums like art, writing, music, video games, and many more!

All the art in this is my own :) save for the jojo reference

Slide 5:

About the Author

Hi I’m Lee sapphic-story

I’m a 22 year old Black American lesbian

I use they/them pronouns

I’m a master’s student in educational psychology and work in a community college system to enhance student services 

I have a lot of specific interests including…

Time loops

All things urban fantasy

Perceptions of love

Familial relationships

(Former) christianity 

Atypical relationship dynamics

The physical/emotional/ psychological effects of being a “hero”

Story structures

Self aware characters

And way more I have so many tags 

Stay tuned for further story updates

[saturndigital]

how would you rate your overall experience at RMCAD? im unsure if i wanna go to art school but if i DO end up choosing to, RMCAD is pretty high up on my list!!

Anon, I'm going to give a good, honest review about this college. The only reason I'm graduating from it is that it was the most affordable option for me, and by the time I realized this college really wasn't what it advertises itself to be, I was already two years in and said "screw it let's keep pushing".

Do not get me wrong, the on-campus professors at this college are incredible. I am an illustration major so I cannot speak on every single professor, but the illustration department across the board has been so wonderful. Only one illustration professor was iffy when it came to their course formatting, but that was one from the 4 years I've been here. Another good thing about the college is the campus, I haven't had issues with the campus and the resources on campus are great! My peers have been wonderful and have made it even more worth being here for 4 years. Techbar and the Fablab staff are great and they've helped with anything I need to get made or fixed.

For the bad: The organization from the financial team and scheduling is abysmal. I will not go into all the details, but if you want a god-awful crunch due to 8-week classes, no summer break, constant advisor changes that make it awful to communicate what your schedule needs, and student finances fumbling around even just a few times (sometimes a lot)? Then apply! It is an exhausting school not even because of the workload. Online courses sometimes are also just nothing-burger classes with professors that have bad communication.

No college is perfect, applying to any art college you will have your flaws and benefits. I know other classmates have had it worse while on the other end, I've had classmates move through the college fine! More the former than the latter, unfortunately.

I cannot speak for other colleges. I do not know if others are worse and maybe my college is a godsend in comparison to others, but this is my honest experience. Don't let my harsh criticism of my college drive you away from art school if you want that degree go get it hell yeah!!

I hope your college search goes well anon! I'm rooting for you!! If you want to talk more about either my college or just college search you're free to dm me o7

[beardedmrbean]

[Huey Zoomer Anon]

“How could so many uneducated people vote for trump?!” Your liberal arts degree do not substitute life experience

Also we have the internet, I only leaned about that most transatlantic slaves were secondhand bought from other slaves via me lurking through Siryouarebeingmocked blog when I was 13

(I know you and I have different opinions on certain media Mr syamb. But you’re blog help me realize I’m wasn’t going batshit crazy with the racial mess in my community!)

Than there the Dahomey…I’m sorry but I should have learned about those fucks when I was 7 since I’m a direct DESCENDANT of their Yoruba victims

But academia, I mean I have two college educated black parents….but academia especially like Yale and Harvard also seem upper middle class and higher with the rate lucky working class person who got a scholarship to go to those places

Also people complained about a lot of zoomers males who are “uneducated” going voting…well as we all know academia alienated the living shit out of white male zoomers, while also screwing over a lot of Asian ones as well.

And given the insanity of student debt…do you guys really think zoomers would want to get useless degrees and end up like their gen x and millennials counterparts with that stuff?

Sorry for it being disjointed…but I think people need understanding learning is way different imitating what college taught you

“How could so many uneducated people vote for trump?!” Your liberal arts degree do not substitute life experience Also we have the internet, I only leaned about that most transatlantic slaves were secondhand bought from other slaves via me lurking through Siryouarebeingmocked blog when I was 13

I have to wonder what the level of shock these people would experience when they see how many uneducated people there are on both sides of the line.

These are also the same people that look down on sanitation workers and folks in the trades.

Sorry but you PhD in comparative religion isn't going to do you any good when the pipes in the wall burst, you're going to need a plumber, who would generally be looked down on as "uneducated" because of a lack of a degree, they don't show up on those fancy pants maps the manipulators use to stroke their egos.

But oh boy they are educated, problem is we've got folks that don't value that education for some reason. Which is kinda dumb when you get to that point where you only have the one working outlet because you can't find an electrician or your AC breaks and you don't know how to fix it.

Than there the Dahomey…I’m sorry but I should have learned about those fucks when I was 7 since I’m a direct DESCENDANT of their Yoruba victims But academia, I mean I have two college educated black parents….but academia especially like Yale and Harvard also seem upper middle class and higher with the rate lucky working class person who got a scholarship to go to those places

Bit heavy when you're seven, but ya including the basics like there were African kingdoms that made their wealth by selling their fellow human beings and they were doing that long before the Europeans started showing up in large numbers too.

Academia is just a joke anyhow, in lots of ways at least, got that one lady who did the 1619 project out here proving that you can write the most hateful, racist, and ignorant nonsense wrapped up in in big long words and people will eat it up as genius progressive thinking.

Also people complained about a lot of zoomers males who are “uneducated” going voting…well as we all know academia alienated the living shit out of white male zoomers, while also screwing over a lot of Asian ones as well.

I'm still waiting for Native Americans to get removed from the acronym and finally have it just be BPOC like I believe folks wanted years back.

And given the insanity of student debt…do you guys really think zoomers would want to get useless degrees and end up like their gen x and millennials counterparts with that stuff?

Not the smart ones, might have a weird thing where we finally have enough people working trades and not enough in professional positions.

Either that or people will still go into debt to get some kind of degree that serves no purpose in the real world.

Sorry for it being disjointed…but I think people need understanding learning is way different imitating what college taught you

All kinds of education, the people that insult others would do well to remember that.

Used to be a conversation about street smarts vs book smarts and the importance of the two, somewhere along the line people started to forget the importance of street smarts.

and disjointed is just fine, that's how my brain works anyhow so disjointed is normal

[theslowhipster]

I think I'm a Pretty Good:tm: Liar?(Inspired by The People's Joker, kinda (not really)) // Queer Trans Ramblings

I want to write something long and beautiful about my thoughts, but I don't know how it's going to come across. (its definitely long though)

Ever since I started living as myself (and for myself), I've been thinking a lot about art that I've created in the past. How I was a happy kid, but underneath all of that I was angry and upset. Content to be the person everyone expected me to be, but never myself. For example, in 5th grade I wrote a short fantasy story using deadname as my self insert. I never felt any closeness to that name, no one ever really called me by it so I thought that was why it felt wrong. But even for the end of the story I couldn't find any happiness for him.

It wasn't a violent end, and it wasn't even his fault. The carelessness of the dragon he trusted with his life flew too high and he could no longer breathe. I remember my teacher at the time showed concern that something was wrong. Most 9 year olds don't write a story where they are the main character, horrible things happen to them, everything is described as awkward and nonsensical, and then they die. But my parents saw their "son" trying really hard to be happy for them and the consensus was "Garnet's just like that."

There feels like there were so many of those moments, too. "Oh no, Garnet's struggling in school, and she thinks it's because she might have ADHD. Let's get her tested," (slightly paraphrased and with different pronouns, obv.) But, once the only people asked were my parents and teachers who I was told later all said some variant on "yeah she could have it, but she's happy and well adjusted." And obviously I don't blame any of them, I was lying about who I was to make the people I cared about most love me.

I was so desperate to be the person they thought I was when I started to come out about my sexual preferences I did it out of anger to hurt my parents. We never really talked about it after the fact, but I know from talking to one of my sisters that they never really believed it. (Jokes on them, I'm a happily married pansexual in a lesbian relationship now). And this anger stayed with me, this frustration that I couldn't put my finger on. I think its what really soured our whole relationship in my teenage years.

When I left for college I was so happy and excited, I could redefine who I was, for myself this time. But after about 6 months, I started feeling trapped all over again and stopped going to classes. I was still trying to be "Garnet" the son that my parents loved and it was destroying me. Eventually, my behavior got me kicked out of school because I had failed literally every single class I was in for two quarters in a row. Because I missed the freedom that being myself gave me, I was determined to earn that back. So I moved back home, and started going to community college with the goal of being myself. That was the first time since probably Elementary school that I had gotten perfect grades.

Eventually I was able to transfer back to university, and reconnected with my at-the-time girlfriend (now wife <3) and started taking classes for an entirely different degree than the one I had originally intended, thinking this would be what fixed me. The following academic year I got an apartment off campus and got serious about my education. I had done it, I'd become the right version of me. Or at least I thought I had.

I ended up making (what I thought was) a friend during my studies; we were in the same major, liked all the same things, and they felt punk and queer as could be. Exactly the kind of community I had tried to build in high school. We'd talk for hours about nerd culture, the darker sides of the internet, and they introduced me to a deeper queer community and furry shit in a way that made all of it way more approachable than in the past. Like the dragon in the story I'd written almost a decade earlier, because of them I was able to see everything from a new perspective that felt more authentic.

But like any dragon, being around them is harmful to your health. While they were (knowingly or not) pushing me to be my most authentic self, they were also trying to separate me from my girlfriend. Verbally abusing them in what I now assume was a desperate attempt to have me all to themselves (something I saw them do to others and thought nothing of it because we were friends and I thought there was no way they'd do that to me). Eventually, they brought me "high" enough that I started to see some of the cracks in myself. How I was still not happy, even though I had everything I thought I'd ever want. Eventually I came out to them as questioning my gender, and they were very supportive; but before I could figure out exactly what it was we stopped being friends and I found out everything that they had been doing behind my back.

We had finally reached the end of [REDACTED]'s story, he was blacking out due to lack of oxygen. The same end I had predicted 14 years prior, lifted up by someone he trusted to the point where he was so changed he was dead. And you would think that it is would be a sad ending, but he was never a happy person and honestly? I think this was the best ending he could've gotten.

Thankfully I still had other friends around me who could act as a pseudo parachute in this metaphor. [REDACTED] had died, and Jemma came back in his place. But also, she was there the whole time. When I was writing the story, I always knew that this wasn't the end of that character. I had always lied to myself and said that he survived it, that he only blacked out and eventually came to. But I think that deep down, I knew that this was a metaphor for becoming who I was always meant to be. That sometimes we have to destroy the parts of us that aren't really ourselves in order to be happy.

My story still isn't over, but at least now I feel like myself, and I know why everything felt wrong. I still have some things I need to work out, but at least I know why social settings are so hard and I know why I hated looking at myself in the mirror (before a few days ago, the last time I remember seeing someone I recognized as myself in the mirror was when I was six years old). I also now know why I fall so hard and so fast with so many people all at once, and have a loving wife who supports me in exploring that. I don't think I would have any of this though, unless [REDACTED] had died and I took his place.

[paintsplantspaws]

Blue Flames Chapter 1

Emmi’s POV

If not real, why hot? I thought to myself . My green eyes were fixed on my phone. A picture of Delsin Rowe was on the screen. I let out a loud sigh.There was no way he could possibly ever like me. I mean, I am a college student and an absolute werido how could anyone possibly like me?

I twitch my wrist to check the time on my Fitbit versa 2. It read June 1, 2024 3:00pm. Oof! Got to get ready for work or I’ll be late. I slowly get off my bed and head to the bathroom across the hall. I started by brushing my dirty blonde hair. It was probably time for my blonde highlights to be redone. Go on to apply my makeup complete with brown eyeliner. Then that feeling returned.

What on earth am I doing with my life? I thought. I’m a college student, sure but I have no idea what I want to do with my existence. I mean I’ve switched my major three times. First computer science, I can’t do calculus to save my life. Graphic Design, I love making art but the studio professors despise me for no reason. Now I’m in communications. The degree is apparently useful and I love the classes. I want to start helping small businesses with advertising after collage but just don’t know. My destiny feels greater than that.

I put on my black dress pants and my black work polo that reads united shops in the left corner. I then proceeded to run to my silver jeep. The drive to work was thankfully uneventful despite the insane drivers in my area.

Work was steady. I’m a sacker so that means I bag groceries and carry them out. Nothing weird today except my mangers let me go home an hour early. I walked outside with my crossbody purse on. That’s when I noticed it.

It looked like the dimensionator from ratchet and clank: rift apart but in bracelet form. I went to pick it off the ground and it started to glow brightly. I touched and suddenly I was sucked in. I was so shocked I couldn’t even scream.

[magnus-sm-writes]

My Writing Journey: Early Adulthood!

I could title spring of 2020 “A Spring and a Miss”, because it was. My only high school class, band, was online, and it was honestly a disaster. I ended up skipping most of it to work at Subway (because I am a responsible adult like that). I was used to the online college classes; that was what I started out on.

What I did not expect was how this would impact my writing.

In February, I had rewritten Hamish and gotten some of the “dark academic” vibes I was shooting for. (In reality, it was always meant to be a gothic horror, but I did not know that yet.) I was so excited to write something else in my Shakespeare universe. My choice was Midway Through Summer’s Bullshit, a rewriting of the beloved A Midsummer’s Night Dream.

However, when the world shut down in March, I realized that I was too incredibly lonely writing a book with so much socialization in it. It depressed me. So I switched things up, for my own health. I rewrote Lessons in Humanity as a way to mentally prepare myself for university. It really felt like I was going places with it. I even had my wonderful, amazing friend Alex beta read it for me. (And even drew fan art for me like how fucking sweet are they?)

I was tired of rewrites, though, and I wanted to write something new. Something fresh. So I decided to write something that has both haunted and intrigued me since: Stuck Together.

Stuck Together is my historical fiction crackfic where William Shakespeare and Edgar Allan Poe a.) live in modern times, b.) are writeblr/writetube/writestagram famous authors, and c.) get stuck together in Edgar’s apartment during the COVID pandemic. 

It is a ridiculous novel, which I wholeheartedly acknowledge. I have never rewritten it, and I reread it once a year. I am not kidding when I say I love and hate this stupid novel in equal parts. It is so ridiculous, so utterly stupid, that I am unable to form a coherent thought on it. I cringe when I think of it; I adore it; I want to burn all traces of it from the internet; I want to fix it. 

(Someone please give me your thoughts on this because this shit is ridiculous and I love it.)

Then I went to my dream university for Creative Writing. It really was a dream come true; Ohio Northern’s campus is a magical place in the autumn. My professors were all incredible, and I have nothing but praise for ONU’s English department. I’m still in contact with several of my professors four years later!

I was at a weird place, creatively. I wanted to rewrite Jeez Take the Wheel, but things just… weren’t meshing. Nothing was working for me. I wondered if something was wrong. (I also broke my foot, but honestly, that should have given me more time to write.)

This was also the time I discovered I’m trans! It was October of 2020 when Morgan was no more, and Magnus came into being. I’d never felt more like myself than then, even though my writing was still not where I wanted it to be. As I settled into my identity, though, I became more confident in myself, and my writing also began to come easier.

There was also the matter of my senior capstone. You see, with all my community college credits, I was actually in my junior year of university. I had to come up with something to write next year for my Advanced Fiction Writing class (which would be the class I would do my capstone for). It had to be around 20,000 words at most, and a finished story. None of my projects could fit that. 

I decided to try a resurrection story. Something about my own transness, identity, and disconnection from the world. I began to brainstorm a story about a man who came back from the dead without his memories and was expected to pick back up where he left off.

This story became Body, my novelette. Body is to me now what Lessons in Humanity was in my teenage years. It is a marker of a huge shift in my writing. I went from someone who turned my nose up at fantasy to someone who was now writing within the realms of fantasy. Technically, Body falls beneath the speculative fiction umbrella. I’d place it in the Weird genre, personally, but it doesn’t really matter. It is more speculative than literary fiction, which was huge for me. 

With Body, I was taking a chance to really write something my own. I wrote in second person (my favorite tense ever). It was a braided narrative, weaving past and present together. It was a story about grief, and love, and hope, all at once. It was what I needed. When I think of Body, I think of how much of my soul I poured into it. Body is an incredibly special work to me because of that. It helped me understand myself in a time where I was just starting to be me.

This is going to sound like a sidebar, but it’s not. I promise.

My professor Dr. Pullen kept telling me in her critiques of my stories that it seemed like I was meant to be a fantasy writer, but was holding back. I, being the snob I was, refused to do anything more than give the barest hint of fantasy in anything I wrote. There was no way I was a fantasy writer; I was a man of literary fiction and contemporary settings.

That is, until Dungeons & Dragons changed everything.

My D&D group would meet anywhere from twice to four times a week. I am not kidding; that is how obsessed we were. I was obsessed. My best friend Jenny, our DM, was also obsessed. I joined another D&D group, as well, where I met some really amazing frat guys who accepted me as a man (!!!). I kept making backup characters just in case. Eventually, all these backup characters began to pile up. I needed something to do with them.

I’m stubborn. I can admit this. But I finally, finally decided to start writing fantasy once I finished Body, in part so I could get my character Hiprax’s character arc out of my head.

It quickly snowballed from there.

I also began to get a lot more serious about poetry. I read every single online copy of Warsan Shire’s poems I could get my hands on, consuming her words like I was starving. Poetry was how I dealt with my trauma, and dare I say, I dealt with it well. So well that I actually ended up in Polaris, my university’s literary magazine, with my poem “Mince Meat Pie”. I was elated. I was finally a published author!

Not only that, but Dr. Pullen made us submit work to literary magazines for class. (Other than Polaris, of course, but she encouraged us to submit to it as well.) I was rejected from all others. It wasn’t really the point for me, though; the point was that I did the damn thing. I did what scared me so badly I almost got sick the first time I submitted something. And I was accepted. 

I couldn’t even dream of doing this in 2020. It was nuts!

I also took a class on witches (taught by Dr. Pullen, duh), wherein my final project was actually a snippet of a vampire novel involving blood magic that I call Night Bite. The worldbuilding I began in that novel was actually the basis for my fantasy world Uuve. 

Once I left university, my writing just kept getting weirder and weirder.

[wyuhing]

hi i'm wong yuhing

but u can just call me yu (please please PLEASE)

this post will double as my accepted portfolio btw but uh hi

i'm an animation student at seneca college (1st year as of posting) and i decided to make this to log my progress because um, yes.

im like really bad at communicating (like. awful) so i hope you don’t mind (your honor, i plead anxiety)

anyway. portfolio. here u are (almost everything is hand-drawn)

hand drawings

you have no idea how long it took to learn the anatomical parts of the hand. i learned how knuckles were formed

they will teach you this in 1st semester life drawing. the construction of bones in the body, that is. you will finally learn where the metacarpals and are how to get carpal tunnel

i kind of don’t know what else to say

interior drawings

okay i actually do know what to say and it’s that perspective is king. obviously yes it needs to be yknow. a bedroom. with stuff in it. but what they’re looking for is not detail, it’s perspective. if you have a lot of stuff but your perspective is all wrong, that’s not it

like are these lines all going to a vanishing point? are all these objects and furniture sized to scale? that’s what they are looking for, and you will learn Interior Layout Made Easy(TM) in 1st sem. exterior and nature scenes is a 2nd sem thing (and also what i am working on as of posting lol).

it took so many tries to make this bedroom look nice… and they aren’t even from opposite corners lmAO

object drawings

also a structural thing, which you actually learn in layout in 1st sem. actually you can boil down every single object in existence to a series of either a rectangular prism or a cylinder and i am not joking

is this object structurally sound? does the object have form, does it adhere to the vanishing points (that are realistically super far apart)? stuff like that

draw any one object per day i promise you it’s an amazing structural exercise. im SO serious.

figure drawings

idk if you should be asking me about figure drawings i barely got out of 1st sem with my life and a 60 but yeah i don’t think they care what kind of figures they are (like 1m gestures, or 20m poses). the ones i drew were both 15m but uh.

for gestures as you may know. they want the gesture. course it had to be relatively proportionate but they want the life in life drawing. movement, form! good line quality! which you will all learn in 1st sem and actually form is a big thing in 2nd sem too.

also by the end you will be able to know every single bone in the body, you will know where the greater tricantor is and how to draw a pelvis.

but please don’t ask me about life drawing i barely survived that class

personal art

wow i hit the photo limit hooray! anyway, i did yet another interior design. why? im gonna be fr w u i just really like drawing backgrounds LOL- of course it’s messed up in all the wrong places but you will know how to fix this in 1st sem. they teach you all the fundies in 1st sem

my other was character design and tbh i cooked up smth random and let it sit. it’s also my only digital piece. really wish i added color but i was on a time crunch at the time.

o by the way you will also learn how to color and render in 2nd sem, i have a 73 in that class idk how i’m still alive.

so yeah that’s my accepted portfolio yayyyy!!!

your honor i plead neurodivergency i don’t know how to end a tumblr post

[mollieblue]

Hey #labour, you should hire me to talk at you about how to actually fix Britain:

Terfs are the enemy, Trans folx are the people.

Small businesses need support on the ground level in order to foster amazing communities.

Invest in education to the point teachers are as paid well as their private peers or dare I say as well as an MP. I would say that if an MP describes their role as being vital, integral and essential to running the country, who receives a handsome tax paid salary with expenses paid with the public purse, why is it that other public sector roles are paid relatively below minimum wage? This applies to all public sector workers; civil servants, NHS staff, and teachers of all stripes. They are just as vital, integral, and essential to running the country, if not more so, than the openly profiteering geezers in Westminster.

Why is it that the rule makers are more important than those ensuring that the rules work? Those holding up society and holding it together are so sorely underpaid in this country that they are giving their lives to you at pittance so you can be okay. The NHS is a wonderful thing, and it breaks my heart that we don't fully fund it. The same goes for education, social services, community organisations, and libraries. These currently literally keep people existing at the bare minimum, but when fully funded and staffed, they transform lives for the better.

Equal pay for Equal work 》 Equal pay for Equal Importance. Ignore the 'we can't pay them the hundreds of thousands that MPs get' elephant in the room. I want you instead to imagine a world in which all public sector workers are paid the exact same amount regardless of hierarchy or public aspect they interact with. I'm no expert, but I reckon £86,584, the basic annual salary for a UK MP in 2023, would be an absolute god send to a junior doctor on roughly £38k. My partner practically works at minimum wage for 50 hours when you account for the marking, the planning, the organisation of your entire schedule to an impromptu meeting with angry parents and worrying about ofsted. It has worn them down, mostly because we can't have a social life, spending money on the theatre, in shops, on things that make us happy and human. We can't save, and we can't afford nice things. That fucking sucks. It wears a person out and throws them out of the system that's holding up the world.

Everyone I know is feeling like the above, regardless if they're private or public, freelance or salaried. One solution to help is basic universal income. Give everyone over 16 £500 & everyone over 18 £1000 each month for a year and see how awesome it would be in a year's time. I already know how much good that would do to me and everyone I know.

So pay everyone £12,000 a year and then pay all public sector workers the base salary of £86,000 rising in step with inflation. If the private sector can, in theory, pay whatever wages it wants, having a guarantee that your basics are paid will eliminate sooooo much stress. Rich folx can donate theirs, college kids can do interesting work at college because £500 buys a lot of art supplies and travel to museums, exhibitions, and events. Youth would have means to explore the nation before university or set up in an apprenticeship. Our elderly can use it to afford end of life care provisions or enrich their retirement or hell, just keep the lights on. Working folx would undoubtedly benefit the most and would probably like their jobs much more if they know things are covered.

To foot the bill, impose a commons tax on all privately owned land that fairly compensates the commons, ie, the UK public, back.

Make the North part of your game plan, rather than a foot note.

On a serious note; nationalise the railway system and expand the network. It is hell going east to west here, up to 3 hours to go 50 miles west and just 3 to get to London from Selby in North Yorkshire. How is this acceptable?

Invest in working class politicians to bring the reality of Britain back into government. Without our views or experiences on the table, why are we surprised when the Tories fuck us over again? If you want true, enthusiastic support from the British people, do not talk at us as if we're irresponsible children and actually engage with the very liberal and progressive discussions we have daily. Especially people under 40 - the older generation that pulled us out of the EU will be gone soon - you need to court and actually help out.

[christmasintheloonybin]

spending this morning thinking about lost time. right after I graduated high school I took some classes at community College, and in my art class there was this anime girl. she drew anime pictures. and she was tiny like maybe five feet tall, and she was so frail looking, couldn't have been more than 90 pounds, and she dressed like a pilgrim, she would wear these really long dresses. anyways, I adored her of course. not that I wanted to fuck her, I just liked her and I liked being around her and I wanted to protect her from the world you know. but I was so socially awkward back then we would sit together in class but I could never really talk to her properly. and there was this guy who was really into black metal, and he dressed in like black metal style all the time and he would also sit with us. this was my crew in community college lol.

but I was thinking, I used to be so socially awkward that people would try to befriend me, sit next to me, start conversations, etc, and I just couldnt do it. even when they seemed interesting and things and i wanted to be friends with them. I think it was a bit of low self esteem, which I've fixed, now I think I'm superior to most people lol, but a lot of it is just that this stuff does not fucking click for me. it does not come naturally at all. I don't have social anxiety, I'm not really scared or nervous to talk to people I just can't do it properly. or I sort of can now. but it doesn't come naturally. oh right! the funny part is that these days I'm trying to start conversations with people and I'm getting fucking rebuffed, as I did with other people in lost times. anyways I really miss this pilgrim girl I don't remember her name. I hope she's doing alright.

[mushroom-music]

hey imma answer all these here so y’all can get to know me a bit better!!

Arthur Parnassus, Crowley, Jon Sims, and Remus Lupin, mostly :)

LIGHTER

if it’s warm enough, yeah! I live in an area where the weather is frikin CRAZY so it could be warm in the middle of winter or we could get a cold front off the lake and have it be 60 F in July. in general though, I do like to.

MOTHMAN. I fucking love mothman and imma make a shirt with them on it

Brown <3

because I was desperate okay ??

my hair is too short for either, but when it was long I preferred hair ties.

idk like 4? Mostly half empty ones though

I don’t drink coffee (I think the taste is nastyyyy) but I do drink tea! and I like hot tea better ofc, but room-temperature tea is underrated, still has the flavor and everything.

I mean, if it’s a nice rich person who advocates for minorities and gives back to their community than nahhhh they don’t deserve it. Most rich ppl tho, absolutely

Drawing, archery, reading scientific papers on ECM/EMM, crocheting, reading <3

a tired day :) Fridays always are but I think it’s Finn’s be a good day too!!!

this morning (like 50 minutes ago) I had an oatmeal :D

holy FUCK yes I love petrichor it’s one of my favorite scents right up there next to bergamot and my friends’ hair

of plants, yes :) of my dice set, yes (I’ve named them)

nope!!

EXTREMELY nearsighted. horrible vision, I would die without glasses

uhhhh literally just shampoo/conditioner as needed, my hair does it’s own thing but looks okay most of the time bc it’s fluffy

totally yessss!!

Pop (midwesterner yay)

the idea that everyone always expects perfection from me because of my intelligence :(

a tired one :/ (idk rly know what this one means, but I’m smart ?? Ig?? And also like to art)

love it, best kinda weather

probably reading or listening to music :)

lotion !!

going to my dream college (it’s a while until I could but I’d love to)

like maybe 7? Still tired tho bc ✨chronic illness✨

nope :)

HOT. HOT TUB TEMPERATURE.

no, not allowed to eat there

bedroom pop and Midwest emo

no, unless ur talking abt beach towel bc then yes

a hike in the forest to find cool fungi and categorize them

oh like a ton. some examples being Ruler of Everything, When He Died, Good Luck, Babe!, Be Nice to Me, Against the Kitchen Floor, This Charming Man, and Art is Dead

Eastern Time Zone (US)

none, actually!

Pretty much no one (all my old friends fixing dumped me)

Zoap’s lavender oatmeal bar

Sometimes, mainly in winter

no :(

(tea actually) mostly just black, but sometimes with cream or sugar if I’m feeling emotional

YouTube !!

i like them! nothing too spicy but I do like them.

this annoying kid in my class named Patrick >:(

mostly I think so

probably Elf

”okay!!”

as a sip test, when I was 13. as a whole drink, never (am minor)

no unfortunately :(

yea absolutely!! I love getting tagged in random fun things by my moots and friends :D

here’s weirder asks

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

lighter or matches?

do you leave the window open at night?

which cryptyd being do you believe in?

what color are your eyes?

why did you do that?

hair-ties or scrunchies?

how many water bottles are in your room right now?

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

would you slaughter the rich?

favorite extracurricular activity?

what kind of day is it?

when was the last time you ate?

do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

can you drive?

are you farsighted or nearsighted?

what hair products do you use?

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

do you say soda or pop?

something you’ve kept since childhood?

what type of person are you?

how do you feel about chilly weather?

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

perfume/body spray or lotion?

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

about how many hours of sleep did you get?

do you wear a mask?

how do you like your shower water?

is there dishes in your room?

what type of music keeps you grounded?

do you have a favorite towel?

the last adventure you’ve been on?

is there a song you know every word to by heart?

what’s your timezone?

how many times have you changed your url?

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

a soap bar that smells good?

do you use lip balm?

did you have any snacks today?

how do you take your coffee?

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

what’s your take on spicy foods?

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

can you remember what happened yesterday?

favorite holiday film?

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

can you skip rocks?

can i tag you in random stuff?

[lunarsilkscreen]

Somebody asked me how I write my stories...

Referencing my DeviantArt account.

Despite not a lot of engagement, I get a lot of compliments. Which is weird considering engagement helps accounts grow. But whatevs.

They've talked to me about several variations of writing process told in high school, college, and writers workshops, and despite seemingly good quality content (again, my engagement suggests otherwise) It appears as if I follow my own drum beat.

That's partially true. I started writing fiction in High School, and I've been to several writing classes, including Technical Writing courses (the kind of writing engineers and PhD students do)

And Ive had to write a lot of content in professional settings as well.

So I have a plethora of writing experience and training to pull from. I have a good idea of how to portray information to people in a quick and professional manner from writing Journal Entries and Documenting Mechanical fixes for aircraft, and being very detailed when needed, and less detailed when it isn't pertinent.

I have a vast knowledge of how books are written as well, from reading intensely during the Scholastic Scholarship programs grade schools offer in America, to being chronically online and reading everything Cracked.Com to Wikipedia rabbit holes, to tutorials for PhotoShop and VideoGame strategy guides, including Nintendo power, Game Informed, and more modern Discord Guides and even responsible for engaging in communities to write my own.

This is where most of my ability to write comes from, but I tend not to edit my stuff after writing them, which tends to lead to confusion... Usually because I'm not getting paid for it, so who cares really.

My process of writing tends to surprise myself with where it ends up. So while I have an idea of how my stories should end up; I tend to write them front to back, in order to avoid writing on plot holes or myself into a corner.

Because I don't have all the details of what should happen, just a general idea of where it's going this helps to maintain the illusion that I have an idea of what I'm writing.

So while I start with a kernel, including an idea of who I want characters to be, or how world building should be, or whatever; the characters and world takes on a mind of their own.

This, I think, is closer to how MangaKai (Japanese Comic Book Authors) tend to do their workflow. And why they're often quoted as saying "I actually have no idea where the story is heading".

And why most Manga tend to run long, because; similar to a sitcom; There isn't an intentionally ending until funding runs out.

And since I'm not being funded, I don't really have to worry about Sales or an audience, or a lot of the limitations other authors and artists might have.

The obvious drawback is that I also tend to work at my own pace, and seemingly aloof-ly with no goals except to write a well crafted story.

I'm writing with the long term goal that I make something that inspires people; and if I'm lucky, there will be a demand for my style of art later. Which I can afford right now thanks to disability.

I see it as a kind of investment.

Each page I'm increasing my skills while creating idea after idea that can be combined together like puzzle, or read in nearly any order.

I'm writing something I want to read. And so, I'm reading it as I write it. Which is kind of antithetical to the standardized practices. You know; that necessity to get paid and all.

Anyway; I'm just hoping it's a good investment.

[horseshoegirl]

Set Me Alight: Part 2 - Abracadabra

📜Hey, All 💛I didn't intend for there to be a gap between this part and the last, but I had to take some time away. Unfortunately and sadly, my grandmother passed away two weeks ago. She had been ill for some time, and I had been helping to support her care at her home since I last posted.

Anyway, thank you all for the support on the first part!!! I love how you all have taken to Midge! I've changed the lineup a little bit as I decided to make this its own part! It's like I said, I'm just letting my mind take me where it wants to go for this one!

❗️+18, Strong Language, Enemies to Lovers, Original Female Character, Short OFC, Bradley Bradshaw x Natasha Trace, flashbacks to college, strong language, insecure Midge, Alcohol, Halloween, mentioning stereotypes and pranks (scaring someone). 

#3.6k Words

Part 1 | Masterlist | Part 3

*THAT Morning Four Years Ago*

It wasn't one of Natasha's brighter ideas. No, it was probably one of the most foolish things she could have ever come up with since deciding to come live with you. But you suppose, in the end, you understood why she wanted to do it. 

Your shared apartment off campus was ideal for this type of thing. Away from prying eyes, away from campus security and the head of the dorm rooms. It belonged to your Aunt, once a warehouse now completely renovated into an industrial apartment. So Space was never an issue and you had no neighbours, hence why she wanted you to stay here as you completed your fine arts degree - every college frat boy and popular girl's dream come to life. 

It was also probably one of the reasons why Nat came up with this idea, wanting to get you up and out of your studio long enough actually to meet people. If you weren't going to detach yourself from a paintbrush, from your school notes, she was going to take matters into her own hands and bring people to you.

Halloween became her perfect excuse to do just that.

When she broached the topic of throwing a party one night as you stood in front of a massive canvas, you immediately wanted to throw your painter's palette at her head. Take college and a party on a night where anyone had any excuse to dress up as who they wanted and drink whatever they wanted to spooky season-themed music and put them together?

A terrible idea. Plain and fucking simple.

 It warranted trouble and unnecessary drama. Drama you wanted no part in. These things always got out of hand without meaning, too, and you knew someone would manage to hook up in either one of your bedrooms or even the bathroom before the night was over. Or passed out drunk on the floor.

She didn't protest when you said no. In fact, she left it alone for the rest of the week.

Then came the subtle bribes. 

A cup of coffee in a new Halloween-themed mug was in her hands as she woke you up one morning to ensure you'd make it to class on time. When you came home from working at the campus art store, there was a new set of black and orange acrylic paints sitting on the kitchen island. She had even planned a Halloween movie night - Practical Magic and Rocky Horror and Beetlejuice - with all the fixings and morsels of candy you could eat.

She asked you again two weeks to the day. While you were slightly more willing to agree that it might be a nice idea, you were still cautious about having a party... particularly about who she would invite.

While she might have left her sorority after all that drama, Nat still had friends in that community she was close with. Friends, you were positive, talked shit about you behind your back without really knowing you. The question of why Nat would befriend someone like you was probably the main course for the dishing of gossip.

Bradley would also come, which you didn't mind whatsoever. You liked him, and he treated Nat well. But Bradley's presence would warrant an invitation to his friends - literally the entire football team. And their friends. And their girlfriends.

Your answer was the same. 

"Still no."

But the bribes didn't stop there. No, they extended into multiple drives to Party City while saying the two of you could go to the big art store on the corner of Brant Street - the one you always said you wanted to go to but never had the time. It was in the Amazon orders that showed up at the door, and it was in the pack of Lime White Claws she'd bring home from the liquor store. It was the playlist full of instrumental Halloween covers, almost always on repeat as the two of you studied together.

Nat had been conditioning you to give in all along, slowly wearing you down while she prepared for the eventual, forthcoming yes.

When you finally figured it out, you were mad. Mad that she would do something behind your back like this and think she could treat you like that. But it didn't last long. Instead, you came to the realization that maybe she had been missing the social interaction that came with living with a sorority. That she had been missing her friends. She was living here now, and despite your best efforts, she still needed to know this place was hers as much as it was yours. 

Maybe hosting a Halloween Party wouldn't be a bad thing after all?

The morning of the party, you had woken up early. Earlier than Nat. It was still dark out as you dragged the many boxes of supplies and decorations out into the living space. You had thrown a few pieces of rolled-up fabric over your shoulder and tossed them into the big armchair once you figured out what boxes held what decorations. The first box had the string lights the art department had loaned you, and when you opened it up, readying yourself to untangle the monstrosities, you had the surprise of your life: uncovering a realistic spider thrown into the mix. 

Curse the bloody art department for playing a prank on you. 

When Nat finally got up that morning, sunlight now streaming through the windows, she was welcomed to the sight of said lights having been strung along the ground, ready to be put up and hung from the wall. She had to step around carefully and through the wires, worried about stepping on a light bulb, as you had aligned them all with the wall sockets, already attempting to daisy chain the hell out of them.

"Maeve?"

"Over here!" you called out.

Nat followed your voice down the hall, only to find you standing on a ladder, plastering the stripe of LED lights into the edge of the wall and ceiling. The piles of fabric had been pooled on the top step, and she figured out you were attaching them at the same time as the lights, letting the material fall down the wall to create an interesting ambiance for tonight.

"This is..." she trailed off, looking at all the boxes and materials you'd spent your waking hours organizing. You turned on the ladder, holding on to the edges of a black piece of fabric.

"It's a lot, I know," you quickly answered her. "But you told me to go crazy with decorations, and I am an artist."

"It's not that..." she trailed off, reaching down to scoop a handful of spiders into her hand, letting them fall back into the box. "I'm just wondering if we should have started yesterday."

You placed your hands on your hips, eyeing her carefully. "We couldn't have. You had that test, and I had that art project to finish."

You may have gone overboard for a simple Halloween party. But you wanted this to be special... and you ever half-assed anything in your life if you could help it.

"We can manage, don't you think?" you tried to convince her, turning back to hook the piece of fabric in your hand into the ceiling. 

Nat reached into the back hem of her sleep shorts, finding her phone plastered up against the skin of her back. "Nope, I'm going to call in the cavalry."

"The cavalry?" you questioned aloud. The second you let the black fabric fall to the ground, you realized who she was talking about.

"Oh, no way!" you shouted out, immediately stepping down from your advantage point to stop her from sending that text. Already, Nat had stood in the process of writing out said message when you hit the floor. You cursed yourself for leaving out so many tripping hazards as you raced to stop her.

"As much as Bradley would help because you asked him to, all the other guys on the team are going to scoff and laugh and not see the worth in something like this!"

Nat only laughed at your protest, hitting send and holding her phone out of your reach as you lunged for it. "You clearly don't know them like I do."

"No, I don't," you argued back, trying to swipe at her phone, hoping once you managed to get it, you could hit resend on the message before Bradley saw it. "I'm a small geek of a person that doesn't do all the popular group shit. I'm not even in their league!"

"That's not true, and you know it!"

Nat used your height to her advantage, holding her phone high above her head, well out of your reach. You even tried to jump, but Nat quickly saw what you were attempting to do. "Maeve, stop it," she chided playfully but with an undercurrent of seriousness. "You always sell yourself short. Those guys aren't the judgmental jocks you think they are. You need to meet people! Mingle!"

Giving up on the battle for her phone, you dropped your hands to your hips, cocking your eyebrow. "Really? Sell myself short?"

Nat grimaced, dropping her hand. "Sorry, poor choice of words."

You weren't mad. Not really. Cause the second you dropped your hand, you lunged, successfully grabbing her wrist only to peel her phone out of her hand.

"Maeve!"

You knew each other's passwords, so getting into her phone wasn't an issue. But it was too late. As you went to swipe for the message, there, on her screen, was a reply from Bradley.

We'll be there after lunch &lt;3

"Shit!" You shouted out, dropping your head back on your shoulders. With your eyes closed, you held out her phone, urging her to take it back. She stood there with an amused smile on her face, crossing her arms as she took you in. 

"It's not going to be that bad, Maeve." 

"You don't know that," you cried out. "I don't want our place to turn into some frat house blowout." 

"Frat house blowout? Really?" she laughed, taking her phone back from you. 

"You know what I mean." 

You finally opened your eyes hesitantly to see a soft expression across Nat's face. Her optimism was infectious, one of the many things that drew the two of you together as friends. It brought you back to that moment in time when the two of you realized that in that small corner of the library, you'd have to pull an all-nighter to get your assignment done. 

It was that same face staring back at you, wide and hopeful, asking you to trust her. 

"The football team isn't that bad. It's only Bradley's friends who are coming to help out. I promise they will behave and at the first sign of trouble, or the first art diss, they will have to answer to me, okay?" 

You bit your lip, working the soft flesh hard between your teeth. "The first art diss, I don't care, I'm unleashing my wrath." 

Nat punched the air dramatically, her eyes sparkling with excitement and sheer amusement. You shook your head, wondering if you were going to come to regret this. 

"Besides," she added causally. "A lot of them are single?" 

You grumbled out a string of words, stomping off as best you could with the lights in the direction of your room, willing whatever you needed to get through the rest of the day would grace you with its presence. 

Nat was still laughing when you slammed the door. 

—

"You got your costume ready?"

You smirked at her words, knocking her shoulder as she sat next to you on the couch. You teased out, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

All had been forgiven once you remerged from your room, realizing that maybe a little help wouldn't be such a bad thing. The feeling didn’t last long, though, your head now full of completing thoughts such as, “They are not going to like me,” and “They are going to fuck up your decorations so bad nobody is going to want to come back.”

Maybe your guests will get too drunk to notice.

Nat smiled at you, all toothy and wide. "Maeve! You spent hours at that sewing machine. And here you were, so against having a Halloween party. Come on... I know you... you're excited!"

Hiding your emerging grin, you shook your head, pinning another spider into the fake cobwebs. "It's an art cliche, according to your standards."

She pouted, handing you another handful of the tiny black things. "Just tell me, please?"

Cupping the creepy fake things into your hand, you regarded her sad expression with a shake of your head, knowing you'd have to give her a little bit of detail if you wanted to get out of this one without completely spoiling the surprise.

"It's orange and inspired by a piece of artwork. That's all I'm going to say on the matter."

Nat dramatically stopped her foot out of good fun, making you chuckle.

"You're the one who didn't want to take that bird art history course I recommended. The orange would have been a dead giveaway."

"If it's anything like the dress you helped me make for mine..."

You shushed her, handing her the cobweb so she could put it in one of the boxes next to the couch.

The two of you were trying to organize the decorations for what you wanted into boxes and spread them across the apartment to make it easier for the guys. The hallway to your bedrooms, the bathroom, the kitchen, the living space, everything save for the things you wanted to tape to the ceiling and the lights, all had multiple piles. 

After you finished with the cobwebs, the two of you decided to cut lengths of streamers and start taping them to the ceiling in intricate patterns. Standing on a ladder, you reached out for a couple at a time from Nat, who was handing them to you with ease. You had your earphones in as you worked, as did Nat, who routinely counted out the same lengths of black and orange streamer each time. 

She suddenly tapped you on the leg, and you twisted on the step, pulling out an earphone.

"I'm going to make sure the drinks are ready for when the team arrives."

You waved her off, pushing the tiny device back in, hearing nothing but music as you stretched to pin the end of the streamer up against the junction of the wall.

You worked for a little bit more, alternating between the orange and black material, hoping it would look like what you pictured inside your head when all was said and done. That was until you felt another tap on the outside of your thigh.

Twisting on the ladder, you half expected to see Nat handing you another cutting of orange streamer. Only, you came face to face with Bradley, way too close for comfort, a shit-eating across his face. You shrieked, and the action was enough to make you lose your footing on one of the higher steps. 

Unfortunately for you, you lost your grip on the side of the ladder, and you flailed out your arms in some last-ditch attempt to save yourself. Your eyes instinctively slammed themselves shut against your will, and no matter where you flung your arms out to grab onto something, your arms only cut through thin air.

It happened in a matter of seconds, and you were hopeless to do anything but fall. 

Awaiting the impact of the hard floor, you stocked up, bracing yourself for the pain. Instead, you were surprised when you hit a pair of soft, strong arms, your body being cradled sideways across a massive chest.

It took you a second to realize there was an actual hand gripping your waist. And another holding your legs. The grip is tight, and whosoever arms you in, they feel secure, protective even. You even go as far as to say the chest you're pressed against is also reassuring, the sensation of firm muscles beneath the fabric of his shirt expanding and contracting against your body grounding. 

With the knowledge you weren't going anywhere, nor were you falling to your demise, you opened your eyes up to the face of your timely saviour. But it wasn't the outline of his nose or the sharpness of his cheekbones that drew you in. It wasn't the colour of his hair or the smile stretching across his face either. It was, to a pair of eyes, the greenest shade you had ever seen.

His mouth was forming words, but you couldn't hear what he was saying over the music blasting in your ears. Panting hard, you shifted in his arms, leaning down so he'd set you back down on your feet gently. Your fingers trailed down his arms, feeling the strong muscles flexing underneath your touch as you regained your footing.

You pulled your earbuds from your ears, gasping out, "What?"

"He said I shouldn't kill one of our hosts," Bradley pipped up from behind you, fiddling with one of the remaining balls of the streamer.

There was a quip forming somewhere in the back of your mind, readying itself to be unleashed on Bradley. Something along the lines of, “You don’t say?” or the more vulgar, “What the fuck were you thinking scaring someone on a fucking ladder?” but they never came.

You were too entranced by the man currently standing in front of you, a self-assured smirk across his face.

“Thank you,” you managed to exhale instead. The man dramatically bowed, holding out his hand palm up in a grandiose gesture that reminded you of a gentleman from a period drama. Still leaning over, he lifted his head, the same smirk still plastered across his face.

“Jake Seresin,” he offered coyly. “Your saviour.”

You laughed softly, trying to stop the shake in your hand as you reached for his. “Saviour, huh? Are you in the business of saving women from falling off ladders?”

Jake's reply came with a twinkle in his eye and a soft squeeze of his hand, "Just the pretty ones."

Warmth spread across your cheeks, and embarrassment flooded your chest. You hoped the blush wasn’t too noticeable or that your pulse wasn't jumping out of your throat. 

“Oh, don’t fall for his charms, Maeve. I mean, he has some redeeming qualities, but Casanova here is hardly worth a catch,” Bradley remarked with a casual smile, catching the ball of streamer he tossed up only to throw it at Jake. 

Jake’s hand flew up, grabbing the flimsy material effortlessly somewhere behind you. Standing there, you couldn’t help but feel a flutter in your stomach as he brought his hand between the two of you, handing it to you. You took it without bothering to look at his hand.

“Maeve,” he rolled the name off his tongue. “You don’t hear that name that often. It’s that Irish?”

You opened your mouth to reply with something about how it literally meant, ‘she who intoxicates,’ when Nat suddenly turned on a speaker, the apartment literally sounding like something out of a nightclub to remixed Halloween music. She ran towards you, and Bob, Ruben, Javy, and Mickey were on her heels. The second she was within arm's distance, she hooked her arm through yours, calling out, “Shots!”

You shot Jake a desperate look, mouthing, “Help me,” as you let Nat drag you away from him. Jake chuckled, following the pair of you to the kitchen with Bradley making a grab for the hair on the back of his head, successfully pulling him into a headlock only to mess up his hair.

Nat let you go when the pair of you reached the counter, making for the tequila first before Bradley. As the others crowded your kitchen island in search of a drink, Jake placed a gentle hand on your back, guiding you to the empty side of the counter. He seemed at ease as he carefully swiped two tiny red solo cups from under Nat's nose as she started taking orders from the rest of the group and placed them down on the counter. 

Jake reached for the bottle of whiskey and held it out between the two of you. He shook the glass bottle, making the brown liquid slosh around.

"Wanna shot?"

You nodded once, watching admiringly as Jake expertly twisted the cap and poured out two shots into the tiny red cups. From behind his frame, you could see the pumpkin Nat and you had carved a few nights ago into a Jack Skellington face, silently judging you. Setting the bottle aside, he handed you one of the cups, and you fought with yourself not to fumble it.

He held his up as you let your hand remain frozen mid-air, a toast on his lips. But somebody shouted out, "Wait!" and Jake dropped his hand, turning to face them with a scowl. 

"Everyone get over here!" Nat yelled out, pulling you away from Jake by your arm again before you could even utter a thanks. She made sure everyone gathered around in a circle with their chosen drink in hand before she lifted her cup up high.

"Cheers!" she shouted. Everyone mocked her shout, lifting all the tiny cups up to hers. The plastic crunched as they touched, liquid sloshing over the sides. Your laugh echoed Nat's as your hand became soaked, and on the opposite side of the circle, your eyes caught Jake's as he grinned at the sight of you.

You smiled right back, never taking your eyes off him as your lips met the tiny rim of your red solo cup.

She doesn't hate him yet!

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-Lucky/Wickett/Em

Part 3: You're so Vain - In progress

[bitch1986miami]

What to Do With My Freedom and Finance 🫡

I think, given you have enough money projected or that you can fathom, it's more important to get your house structured, to clean it and organize it. Etc. more cleaning and organizing. In the end, you need everything pretty structured. Someday, you can do other things, of course, and use new "inventions!"

Then, I guess you save your money and eventually get out. I get Lejeune compensation I think, maybe Thursday when I make hopefully only 2 calls, one by phone and one by webcam!

So yup got a clean area for my spinning, leaping, and hopping? I can do this on the basketball court, too. I just need to eventually be able to rotate my leg, when I get rid of all this extra laundry and throw out my broken portable washer and slight spin dryer. Any more? The returns need to go but 'am so glad in moving chords away to fix the window coverings to go up found all my chords could go in one neat pile! and I have all these things to hold my cell phone on webcam with lights etc. I got at a Dollar store I walk to in another little pile maybe not in the way so much or at all. I don't know, in this case, that I need a larger home regarding the furniture and possibilities, like I know I can get my stored necessities and toiletries to a boxed storage and use the shelf for other things. Oh, I have a bunch of round stuffed toys I could put up and other small ones from a young artist girl's book, maybe from my generation a lot of work for children. I think there are dead flies all around here, including on my revolving round bookshelf/bookccase. I think I got an extra one free and saved it and a 2nd violin stand and a 2nd violin bow for my broken electric Baroque violin. I had a regular one in Orlando probably broken. I have a few trash things to throw out, maybe 2 or 3 trips. I'm sorta like my back is like dry and broken and my pube or whatever felt cancerous or hardening on the side on the inside or something ~ hey, do you feel that?

So, now, I had some water, may lie down or exercise, maybe seated chair gentle senior workout. My mom used to teach Silver Sneakers in a gym studio. I wonder what she liked best, Disney spa at hotel/"resort?" Also, the huge hotel with a full gym in Orlando. She briefly taught children at the biggest gym in Orlando. I wanna do some Tai Chi? If I did Asian martial arts, I'd probably have to do both Kung Fu and Tai Chi, and it could be full time. I've actually considered it, to some extent. I dunno if college dance is great. I wanna post online, of course, do other exercise. I don't know what I'd be sacrificing. I'm better and my happiness relied on that I'd do something after I got better, so now I need to think about it but no pressure-rush.

If I wanted vacation, I'd probably move to Fort Lauderdale. If I wanted to be in the movies, I'd practice in Miami or maybe I like L.A. as a "way of life." I'd have to work to go on vacation. I'm not excited about just losing myself eating out while other people act all fancy and bossy and cook for me and bring me my food and look at me funny because Drew Gordon finished off my face as Asian to look non-American and more real after it got messed up when I was convinced Tim Burton was used to turn my life "inside out." I guess I'm hoping it gets better.

Like ballet/dance, no one wants to see me perform anything except memorize lots of lines, to "act." In Communications, it's NOT to do the arts. I do art for my own benefit.

I'm mostly worried about my health and wellbeing. I recover quickly but like to cook my own food so it's good, even with the ingredients. I hate people who complain who have any part in benefiting my life technically, physically. I always wanted to take care of myself.

I'm on Survivor's Benefits for $2K / month, according to my dad's ... what's it called? ... monetary place in life? "Class?" Like the Titanic. I should be making like $100,000 / year by now, based on my performance in elementary school, junior high school, and first 2 year of high school, and based on the college I got a high? or half scholarship at. I also got all A's in all but one of many major courses and the other a B+, in fact, first semester. I also got into Honors, somehow.

[jmtorres]

top ten things i would fix about my personal life (i am not sure i feel like i could meaningfully affect world events like 9/11):

--say no to the dentist that put sealant in my mouth as a like 13yo (a decade later it wore off--something dentists know happens now but at the time he claimed it would not--and I started on a spiral of fillings and root canals because before you do sealant, you scratch up the enamel so it will stick and. all my teeth were weakened)

--ask for therapy and maybe antidepressants as a teenager. also adhd eval

--take that fractals class instead of another AP class in high school

--insist on a gap year instead of going to college right out of high school

--try to fix my sleep cycle instead of running around in an insomniac haze for like 15 years

--value myself enough to ask for a raise when asked to take on extra responsibilities at work (and not naively assume work is reasonable enough to automatically offer)

--do more activism and volunteering (hopefully some of these changes would mean i'd have more energy for it instead of just struggling with my own crap for years)

--I'm on the fence about having spent years of my life in Arizona. The weather was awful and really cut down on my ability to just like, go for a walk to get exercise. On the other hand, my family moved there and I probably would have been more fucked up on my own, and also I met some of the most important people in my life in Arizona. I wonder if I could get the benefits without the awfulness if I'd campaigned my dad's boss to take the research to NAU or UA instead of ASU? Would @niqaeli still have looked me up if I lived two hours away instead of 20 minutes away?

--tried to have more... discipline is not quite the word I want. But like. structured effort about writing? and other art/hobbies? mental health help probably would have done a lot here

--established boundaries with my mom earlier so that I didn't feel like I was moving out to escape her

now. having said that. here is where I currently am in life:

--i do not live in a desert i live on a mountain in a forest with snow

--i'm in therapy and I take antidepressants and adhd meds

--i work at the registrar seasonally for elections, depending on my health, I joined a shul to find community for activism and volunteering, I do a lot of one-on-one helping out people who are in my community

--I started working on voicing the boundaries with my mom, oh, around the time I started going to therapy I think

--I am doing a lot of work on the sleep cycle including cpap

--i take classes in things that interest me, although sadly I never have found a fractals class again.

Anyway. If you said yes. Think about what you would change in your past and ask yourself, are you doing anything to fix it in your present and future? if yes, congrats! let go of regret! if no, figure out what you can do now! if we're talking something irrevocable like my teeth, recognize it and release it.

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