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forager-m · 5 months

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TWST RARE PAIR WEEK: Day 2 - Reality TV AU

Ship: Kalim Al-Asim x Silver (カーリシル)

Art + Drabble

BREAKING NEWS: Kalim Al- Asim Kisses Co-Star Silver In Last Episode of "LOVE: TWISTED"

05/04/XXXX

Written By: Forager_M

LOVE:TWISTED, directed by Dire Crowley, aired March 18, 2020, is a hit reality romance drama wherein well-known figures are put against each other. The prize? The love of the show's protagonist, Yuu.

However, it seems a different romance has been brewing behind the scenes, revealing itself in the last episode of LOVE:TWISTED Season 3.

Kalim Al-Asim, known for his love of music, dancing, parties, and his fun, happy personality that brings joy to fans all over the globe, suddenly kissed fellow competitor and co-star Silver on screen during the episode's ending segment.

The kiss shocked the cast members, audience and Silver himself. Silver, who is known for his love of nature, his beautiful voice, and his awkward, serious but charming personality is notorious for his blank expressions.

Screenshots of Silver's reaction spread on social networks such as MagiCam, MyLog, and TweetTweet with hashtags: #KaliSil, #SilverLV:TWSTD, #KalimLV:TWSTD trending in Scarabia and Briar Valley for three days after. Fans have taken to making edits, memes, and art of the now iconic kiss scene.

Following the incident, there has been scrutiny of KaliSil moments in past episodes.

TweetTweet user 'YuuOwnMyHeart' posted:

#KaliSil

Episode 5 - Kalim answered Silver when asked who's the most beautiful person he knows. They're so obvious???

TweetTweet user 'Single_Twisted' posted:

#KaliSil

GUUYS THAT PART IN EP 2 WHEN SILVER AND KALIM WALK AWAY TOGETHER??? HELLO??? AND THEM LITERALLY NAPPING TOGETHER IN EP 10??? I'VE BEEN A KALISIL TRUTHER SINCE DAY 1 I KNEW IT.

Other notable moments:

Season 1, Ep 5 - Kalim putting extra food on Silver's plate during lunch.

Season 1, Ep 6 - Silver calls Kalim 'cute' in a segment where he's asked to describe other cast members.

Season 1, Ep 13 - Kalim hears Silver singing and stares at him for 5 minutes before joining in. Song: Once Upon A Dream (Orginal Artist: Aurora)

Season 2, Ep 1 - Silver gives Kalim a surprise gift for the start of the season.

Season 2, Ep 3 - Silver interrupts Kalim when Kalim and Yuu are playing with the water guns in the pool area.

Season 2, Ep 7 - Kalim asks for Silver to sing the song: A Whole New World (Original Artists: Jasmine and Aladdin) with him during the karaoke segment.

Season 2, Ep 10 - Silver bakes a special batch of thumb print strawberry jam cookies for Kalim only.

... And many more moments! Please comment your favorites below!

The cast have released their own statements or posts regarding the KaliSil kiss during interviews and on social media.

When interviewed in 'Chitchat With YUU', Yuu laughed with a knowing look.

"Silver cares deeply for Kalim... And I know Kalim treasures Silver."

Other cast members have posted on MyLog:

Idia

GGS nice rizz Kalim

Re: Riddle

... What???

Leona

Jesus fucking christ right in front of the cameras. I'll hand it to them, that takes guts.

#KaliSil

Cater

CONGRATS KALIM AND SILVER!!!! YOURE BOTH TOTES CUTE TOGETHER <3 #KaliSil

Deuce

Silver and Al-Asim-senpai kissing was really out of nowhere. I didnt expect that! But I think it was really cool!!! Good luck guys, wish u all the best #KaliSil

Malleus

Silver and I have been friends since childhood. I am so delighted and pleased to see him find joy. May love prosper and may your time together be plentiful. #KaliSil

Re: Leona

Wow it mustve been hard for you to figure out how to post. Lots of surprising things have been happening lately.

Epel

No way, you're telling me Kalim Al-Asim and Silver got someone before me thats kinda crazy bro. #KaliSil

Sebek

IT IS UNACCEPTABLE CONDUCT TO KISS IN FRONT OF THE CAMERAS IN SUCH A MANNER. SILVER APOLOGISE IMMEDIATELY.

... congratulations to your union. #KaliSil

Lilia

I'm not ready to walk my son down the aisle yet T T they grow up so fast... #KaliSil

Jamil

Congratulations on growing up and doing something yourself for once. #KaliSil

Re: Epel

Yo who hurt you.

News to come on the couples status on LOVE:TWISTED. Follow for more!

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst kalim #twst silver #silver x kalim #rare pair #twst rare pair week #kalisil #silkali

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thepowerisyouth · 10 months

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The World Doesn't Need More of This. Doing It Anyway-- Sorry

I do not believe that the internet needs any more useless additions to itself in the form of political and financial commentators. However– my friends and family probably would appreciate it if I sent less rambling paragraphs & charts when I struggle to sleep at 2am. Instead, I simply plan to try and get into blogging. Whoopie.

My name is Bennet. I have never considered myself much of a writer, but I love to think about things, and I’ve been told that I can take complicated ideas and break them down into simple ones. Sometimes.

Since this post is a first of mine– I will skip any sort of long discussion on dumb topics*. Instead, I will stick to some boring exposition about what to sort-of expect out of my writings. Found below the note about my 'dumb topics'.

*expected dumb topics may or may not include: philosophy as it applies to current events; political science, including bias/perceptions formed by news and other media; nature & nature photography; statistics & other forecasting; ‘value analysis’ of ‘cash-flow producing assets’ (bleh); and lastly, but most definitely– anything and everything I can get my hands on, of which I can apply my own views of morality, ethics, and progressive humanist ideals.

____________________________

I typically don’t like to go back and review my work, erasing in the process whatever I perceive as mistakes. Of course, this is not always the case– but just talking generally. My preference would be to put my thoughts out there, and allow criticism based on that, then I can accept errors and adjust, based on more than just my own perception of, ‘am I wrong?’

I guess you can say I like to go with my gut. Math & logic has always been my most well-spoken language (English a not-so-close second). For whatever reason, I seem to intuitively come up with answers to whatever I’m looking for; this simple trait which isn’t at all unique to me is what requires a conscious, constant search to figure out if I’m actually correct.

The worst thing of all? I can never. Ever. Tell if I’m correct. Isn’t that true of all of us?

To finish off this rambling exposition about fact-checking and typo-fixing, I will just say that I am of course reading over what I write once (maybe twice). Because I write like a 2nd grader sometimes, and nobody would respect me if I didn’t spruce up the simple language or fix glaring errors in the language that is considered socially unacceptable in ‘educated’ writing. Whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean.

However, for most of the ideas I’m putting forward, I will probably be sticking to a bunch of intuition, estimation, and absolutely some maths to back it up.

Will I be wrong?

Yes. I think 99% of all things ever thought, written, or spoken are probably ‘wrong’ by one definition. But right by another. Isn’t that a thinker?

No, not really. I think it was just a dumb intuition.

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newsworld-nw · 11 months

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Paris Hilton has doubled down on 'unacceptable' comments she made about her son's appearance in a heartfelt message

after Paris Hilton42, shared an lovely new photograph of her son, Fairytale birds are particular9 months, through Instagram On October 19, many haters had been fast to make destructive feedback in regards to the child's look. Lots of the proud mother's 24.9 million followers left notes in regards to the child's cranium and general look. Two days later, Paris took to the feedback part tiktok video The lovely phoenix was created by a fan to guard her and later saved her once more with a protracted message. "There are some sick folks on this world," easy life Written by alum. “My angel is completely wholesome. And sure, in fact she went to a physician, she simply has an enormous mind." The fan who shared the TikTok clip made the video in protection of Paris and her baby and known as out the haters within the caption. "Dude in case you're bullying youngsters get your head examined. Ought to,” the content material creator captioned the put up. Paris additionally shared a message that known as the criticism "unacceptable" and revealed that it harm her. "Dwelling life within the highlight, feedback are inevitable, however concentrating on my baby or anybody else is unacceptable," she started. "This hurts my coronary heart greater than phrases can describe. I've labored laborious to construct an setting that's about love, respect and acceptance, and I count on the identical in return." She went on so as to add that navigating motherhood within the highlight has put her below scrutiny. “If I do not put up my child, folks assume I am not an ideal mother and if I do, there are people who find themselves merciless and hateful. I am a proud working mother and my child is completely wholesome, lovely and angelic. " she wrote earlier than including that her son has develop into the "greatest blessing" in her life. "I've dreamed of being a mom for so long as I can keep in mind," she additional defined. “Day by day with him is a reminder of what actually issues. It's laborious to fathom that there are folks on this planet who would goal such an harmless. I hope that individuals can deal with one another with extra kindness and compassion." The photograph that sparked the dialog amongst Paris' followers was a collection of snapshots she shared social media A number of days earlier than the applause. Within the photograph carousel, the 42-year-old cradles Phoenix on her lap in celebration of her first journey to the Large Apple. "My valuable angel child Phoenix's first time in NYC," she captioned the put up Regardless of the hateful feedback, a lot of Paris' followers and superstar associates gushed over the nine-month-old. "God!!! Valuable sufficient!!!" Demi Lovato swooned, whereas the designer Diane von Furstenberg Added, “How lovely! Bravo!” A number of others shamed on-line haters for his or her destructive feedback. “Think about being an grownup making enjoyable of an harmless baby! Unhappy world we dwell in," one fan wrote, whereas one other exclaimed, "Adults making enjoyable of a child...wow that is a disgrace." Paris welcomed her solely baby together with her husband through surrogate, Carter Rheum42, on January 2023. Along with commenting on Phoenix's look, Paris took off Instagram To want his good friend on 22 October, Kim Kardashian, blissful birthday. "Joyful birthday @kimkardashian! So many enjoyable reminiscences collectively! Wanting ahead to doing extra to ship you a number of love in your big day! Hope all of your birthday needs and goals come true! Maintain sleeving! Love you," Paris gushed to the now 43-year-old. . Within the carousel of images, the SKIMS founder and Paris posed collectively in a number of throwback images and movies of their years-long friendship. #Paris #Hilton #doubled #unacceptable #feedback #sons #look #heartfelt #message Read the full article

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night-market-if · 2 years

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Paper Lanterns Part 22

Paper Lanterns is a community based IF game here on Tumblr. I need something to fuel the creative fires while I chip away at The Night Market demo, and I want to give you all a little something in the meantime. Here’s how it will work.

I will post a snipped under the cut every few days. At the end of the post will be three options. Comment below or send me an ask if you would rather be anonymous, over which route you would like to see. I will tally them up and write the majority option and post it in the following days. From there, we repeat the process until we, as a community, have crafted our story.

Please reblog and share this with others. The more people we have participating, the more fun I think this can be for us.

Winner of the last vote: Get in the way

As the guards moved forward, you moved to stand in front of them. “I think there is a bit of a misunderstanding,” you begin. They are large individuals. Two of which have curling horns, a scorpion gem hanging from their ear. You didn’t know much about their kind, other than they had traveled from their dying land and took up refuge here. Most ended up joining the Velvet Guard, while the others lived in a small section sequestered from the main portion of the Night Market. They were not known for being social individuals.

The other guard, you recognized well, having had a run in with them a time or two before. Tandri was small with golden red skin and looked as if she could be blown over with the wind from a closing door. Yet, she had also pinned you to the ground before, having ran and tackled you from a rooftop when you were trying to steal a signet ring from the local Baron at that time.

“Respectfully move,” she said, barely looking your direction.

“Tandri, let me explain, okay? Hazel has no part in whatever you’re about to arrest her for. I was the one in the Market tonight. Rat was attacked. He was dying. I was trying to get him to safety.”

“And you brought the boy here?” Tandri inquired.

“Yes. See?” You motioned towards where he still lay prone. Hazel was sitting next to him, her cheeks grey with worry and her hands wringing in the folds of her skirt. “Hazel saved him. So whatever you are here for, it is a misunderstanding.” Someone had to have seen you with the bleeding child. It had to be that they believed you had attacked him. That he was harmed by your hands. It would be cleared up soon and while you knew that the gate was not going to be easily accessible with the Velvet Guard sniffing around that area for the attacker, the life that would have been on your hands if you hadn’t brought him here was unacceptable.

Tandri regarded you for a long moment. Her bell shaped eyes narrowing into slits as she stared you down. Behind her, the men did not move, waiting clearly for her orders. It was clear she had gotten a promotion from last you had seen her.

“Tell me, do you know the rules of magic within the Night Market?” she asked.

You stare at her curiously. “Magic is stripped from anyone that passes through the gate,” you answer. “It can be bought but each purchase of magic is carefully cataloged so no one is able to gain too much of it and can be tracked in case of wrongful action.”

“And what of the people who are native to the Night Market?”

“What of them?” You weren’t sure where she was going with her line of questioning.

“They are sometimes born with unruly magic.” It was Hazel’s voice, soft and wavering with fear. Tandri looked over your shoulder at her, her face expressionless. When I turned, I saw Hazel had risen, tears gathering in her eyes. “Do I get a moment to close down my shop?” she asked.

“No.” The men moved around Tandri, headed towards Hazel’s whose eyes and grown in fear.

“She saved him,” you protest. When the guards did not stop their advance, you ran to stand between them and Hazel. “Without her magic, that boy would have died.”

“That may be so,” Tandri continued from by the door. “Yet, unruled magic within the Night Market is prohibited. Hazel Albright, do you deny these claims of your magic?”

“Hazel, don’t say anything,” you looked over your shoulder at her, seeing the tears gathering in her eyes. “She’s an herbalist,” you told Tandri. “She owns an apothecary that is sanctioned. What grounds do you have that there is something more?”

“It is not my job to prove our evidence to you,” Tandri said calmly. “Arrest her. Please.”

As the men grip Hazel by the arms, you lash out. You move to rip them from her, but they are too big. With one bulky hand, the horned guard is able to toss you across the room, landing you in a sprawl near the unconscious Rat. Your eyes raise to Hazel as you scramble to your feet, but she shakes her head.

“Make sure those bandages are changed,” she said, her voice choked. “And remember, you only have one day to finish your job.” You look at her incredulously, wanting to argue, but unsure what to say. “It’ll be okay,” she tried to assure. But you could see the way she trembled, the guards by her side standing nearly double her size.

“Stay down,” Tandri said, looking at you. “If you don’t want to be arrested. Stay down until we leave.”

Voting closed. Part 23 here

Stand and disobey Tandri. You would not let Hazel go alone.

Stay down and listen to Hazel. Rat is still unconscious behind you and not out of the woods yet.

You had one day. You needed to focus on the gate, or else you didn’t know what the Baron would do to you and the ones you loved.

Please check out the Night Market demo linked below if you haven't already. Reblogs and feedback are also love! Also, there is a Paper Lanterns discord now. Click the link below to join.

Patreon || Ko-fi || Demo || Discord

#paper lanterns #the night market #community if #comunnity fun #you choose MC's fate #if wip

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hacawijo · 3 years

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Do you think Gwyn is a teenager?

Okay so, thank you for asking this question, anon, I know it’s been a topic of discussion this week.

I want to say a few things here. And also, with this first point - you buy it or you don’t! That’s fine! I’m just saying that the logic is sound.

1) Yes, I think that Gwyn presents as young and is most likely similar to a human teenager. But it’s important to understand that fae lifespans are truly different, as someone recently explained in a post. Let’s look at it like this:

High fae: 2,000 year life-span (give or take)

Human: 80 year life-span (g/or/t)

Dog: 12 year life-span (g/or/t)

We usually consider a dog to be an adult around 2 years old. We usually consider a human to be an adult around 18. Using this logic, I’d say a fae probably isn’t considered an adult until around 50 or 60 (or 75 even in the case of Alis’s nephew - and yes, Alis is not high fae, but she groups the aging of her own faerie race in with the aging of the high fae when she talks about it).

The reason why Feyre, Nesta, and Elain can be considered more mature than Gwyn, despite being technically a few years younger than her is that you need to convert from human years to fae years (in the same way that we convert dog years to human years). Really, Feyre, Nesta, and Elain are probably the equivalent of like a century or so old.

I know it’s fantasy, I know specific people in this fandom who would probably put me down for thinking about it critically, and I know it’s totally possible that Sarah sees it differently (though I think there is evidence in the text that says she doesn’t) but it’s not out of line for other people to see it this way. Personally, I see it this way, but my bigger problem with the GwynxAzriel dynamic is the fact that, as a member of the Night Court’s Inner Circle, it is one of Azriel’s official and solemn duties to protect the priestesses in that library.

It’s not even about him teaching them for me, it’s about that official role as an authority figure (and before you say you’d need to say the same about Elain and Azriel or Nesta and Cassian, it’s different. Elain and Nesta have always been PERSONALLY involved with Azriel as Feyre’s sisters and fellow members of the inner court - Gwyn did not and does not have a personal connection to Azriel in that way. Yes, Azriel and Cassian want to protect them, but that’s in the same way they want to protect feyre and Rhys and mor and the rest of their family and friends).

In the real world, Azriel might be an administrator, a counselor, or a security guard at a recovery center for trauma survivors. It would be immensely inappropriate for him to have a romantic relationship with a resident of that center.

2) Yes, I think that Gwyn presents as young and most likely is similar to a human teenager. No, I DON’T think she presents as a pre-pubescent CHILD.

IMPORTANT DISTINCTION: What we’re talking about (if we’re talking about a GwynxAzriel ship) is a relationship between a 17-year-old and a 28-year-old teacher/aid/counselor/employee at their school. Even if that 17-year-old started dating that person AFTER he was no longer interacting with her in an official capacity, it would still be an age difference that many would find socially unacceptable or “icky.” 17 is past the legal age of consent to sex with an adult in most places, so this isn’t a matter of breaking the law in Prythian; and pedophilia is the sexual attraction to PRE-PUBESCENT children. No one is saying that Gwyn is a pre-pubescent child.

In our society, you can make a case that adulthood starts at several different points in a person’s life. I personally think that there’s nothing wrong with a post-pubescent teen (who is technically under 18) exploring their sexuality in a healthy way (I and many of my friends became sexually active before we were 18 and had many positive experiences) and that’s why I ship Gwyn with some folks that I think are more age appropriate. The problem being acknowledged here is NOT that Gwyn is young, it is that there is a large maturity/age difference between her and Azriel.

Yes, it is awful to think about Gwyn being the equivalent of a 16-year-old and experiencing sexual assault, and legally (in our world) that does fall under the category of CSA. However 16-year-olds and younger teens are sexually assaulted every day, and in my experience as a trauma counselor, there hasn’t been much of a practical difference between supporting a 16-year-old who was assaulted and supporting an 18-year-old who was assaulted.

WOW HI ANON, I REALLY UNLOADED 😂 I hope I didn’t just give wayyyy toooo much information, but thank you for your question, I’ve obviously been thinking about it

Also these points are all supplementary to @offtorivendell’s very well-written post regarding Gwyn’s age.

BELOW IS SOMETHING THAT I HAVE WANTED TO SAY IN RESPONSE TO SOME GENERAL CRITICISM, THIS IS A MUCH BROADER COMMENT AND NOT ONLY RELATED TO THE GWYN’S AGE ARGUMENT

CSA (child sexual abuse) happens. It’s fucked up, just like any sexual violence, and I’m not sure why it’s okay for Sarah to write about some traumatic experiences that many people have struggled with and not others. Sexual violence is disturbing in any form, and when we act like CSA is the one that’s different and shouldn’t be talked about, we’re reinforcing a lot of the societal shame that many survivors of CSA constantly feel. Why shouldn’t there be a character in fiction for folks who identify with that struggle to read and feel represented by?

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thenotetoselfpod-hq · 3 years

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“The answer is yes if you were wondering if y’all were spoiled. Whew, Chile. Don’t ask me for NOTHIN’ else.” Zion chuckled sweetly as she dramatically cleared her throat. “Lets get into it. Welcome back to another episode of the Note to Self podcast where we talk all things self care of the body, spirit, mind, work ethic, sprinkled in with a whole lot of motivation to carry us into a new day. I am your host Zion Taylor and with me in my makeshift studio is my lil baby who listens to all of my problems, my boss friend THEEEEE Brilliant O’neal.” Zion air claps as she smiles over at Brilliant. “How are you on this lovely day, mama?”

“Hey, hey, hey! I’m so excited to speak to the note to self listeners all over, it’s been fun listening in and making my own input here and there but wheww being here feels so rewarding.” She said warmly before playfully exhaling. “I’m doing good, managing like I usually do but good nonetheless. How are you?! What jewels do you plan on dropping for the people today?”

“I’m probably doin’ a little less good than you since you’re managing but girl .. I cannot complain at all. So thankful to have you here for this episode and to just catch up. We’ll get into the tea of it all a little later. We start every episode with a brief recap and I wanted to thank everyone, again, for all of the love. I hope you all were inspired to really keep killing shit in the industry that you’re in and watch the doors open up for you. Last weeks top listeners were the beauty that is known as @royalnike who spoke about her Black Owned Mechanic business and the short term goals that she has for herself in that business. Of course you, Mrs. Brilli Dis, founder and owner of The Glamour Parlor, and the beautiful @syxrai, who I’m obsessed with on IG by the way, but who also is a film producer ALL shared your short term goals which inspired me tremendously. If you missed out on that go give it a listen and drop your own goals in the comment section.

Music is the only thing that gets me through my week sometimes. This week is on you because Channing is still pressed about Good Days so that shit rings in my head every day because of her.” Zion laughed, “What have you been listening to this week? Any new music you wanna share? Put us on.

Brilliant cracked up in laughter at the mention of Channing. “That baby got taste, because that’s my jam! But this week I’ve been on my Gangsta Brilli, I’ve been playing A Gangsta’s Pain by MoneyBagg on repeat. I think his track with Jhené is the perfect vibe, so if y’all need something to vibe to, with a nice little glass of wine, One of Dem Nights, but the whole album bops.”

“Okaaaay. Now see I haven’t always been a MoneyBaggYo fan up until his songs started getting airtime on the radio. I’ma definitely have to give that a listen once Channing is done boppin’ to her fave.

And that brings us right into the TEA for the day. I’ve known Brilliant for several years now and I feel like I’ve only known her as this amazing business women, wife and mother. We both know how crazy it can be going from Hashtag Living Single to Mommy Duties real quick once you’re married and have wifely duties, etc. How long did you know your Husband before you two decided to make it official AND tie the knot? Was marrying young something that you were open to or did it not matter? What’s that young love story you can’t wait to share with your kids?” Zion smiled as she looked over at Brilliant.

“So I always tell people that me and my husband’s love story is literally crazy, and I don’t think it could’ve happened any other way. Because were short on time, for the real how we met tea, watch our YouTube video! But..I think we dated for about a year before I got pregnant and just because of the type of man he is and how in love we were, and how happy we were when our son Justice was born, we got married when he was about 3 months. I honestly didn’t see myself marrying that young or having children..and my life did a whole 180. I just thought damn I’ll probably hate it here but when you have that person to make those defining moments with..it was a breeze and I found myself being happier with my little family than when I ran the streets. I don’t think marrying young is for everyone but when you make the right decision..man the moments you’ll create..priceless. Still a hot girl though, don’t get that twisted.” She said with a playful laugh.

“EXACTLYYY. I have to remind Lex all the time when he sees me playing dress up in my boots and coochie cutters that mama BEEN a stallion, okay?! Hot Girl Summer me, please!” She laughed, “No but seriously the feeeeels. I’m obsessed with the love you two have for each other. It’s infectious. But I’m sure it hasn’t always been cupcakes and rainbows, right. Y’all, shit gets real after the wedding and the vows and even after that honeymoon phase. I know for me and Carmelo, I’m more of the opinionated one and I really had to learn to step down and let my man LEAD our home. We were pregnant before the wedding ... liiike ya girl had her dress taken OUT 4 times before I was satisfied with how my hips looked in it.” She chuckled, “You said something so special, when you have that person to make memories with you will DEFINITELY not want to live a single day without them and expanding that love into children only makes it better. Melo was trying to get me pregnant BEFORE he proposed to me and I wasn’t having it because at the time I was dealing with fertility issues and having a baby seemed damn near impossible. I always say that he spoke the life of our son, Lexington, into existence because I didn’t think that I could physically carry.” She stated, smiling again at the thought.

“I remember you alls last video where you announced the pregnancy of my other child, Jewel” She chuckled, “Um, what was the experience like for you? Having to go through all that you did for the blessing that is currently your literal shadow. She looks like her Daddy but has your everything else. What was that like?”

“That’s your child for sure.” She said with a laugh. “It was actually on the difficult side, she’s my rainbow baby. I suffered a miscarriage and some issues with fertility so I actually got pregnant with Jewel through IVF. I adore her, it’s scary having a mini version of myself. Someone who’s with all my hair, makeup and nail antics because my son Justice is not with it at all! He won’t even let me take his picture half the time.” She laughed momentarily. “I know it’s the same way with you and my baby Channing”

“I can imagine it being extremely difficult. When God’s mind is made up we can only pray that He’s included us in His plans and when he made Channing? He definitely had me in mind.” She laughed. “I still don’t know how we got so lucky but I don’t question anything. She’s obsessed with all of my clothes and hair and everything in between.”

“The last thing I wanted to talk to you about is what’s been going on in the media with Porsha, Falynn, and the Husband who I don’t even know his name yet. So Porsha Williams brought onto the Real Housewives of Atlanta show her friend Falynn a few years ago. Maybe like two seasons ago. This is someone who was also featured on this last season of the RHOA show that was filmed in 2020. Apparently the two are no longer friends and Porsha is now ENGAGED to Falynns’ Husband because they haven’t even gotten a divorce yet. I wan’t to know your thoughts on the whole situation. What type of friendship dynamic do you think they had for Porsha to be comfortable MARRYING this man?”

“Engaged. To. A. Former. Friend’s. Husband.” She said slowly before letting out a low sigh. “Now, the first mistake she made was being engaged or dating a man who is still married. I don’t care what the circumstances are, he is legally married! It is literally code and decency not to date or marry after your friends. If y’all are friends or have ever called each other friends, that’s just unacceptable. I would beat the breaks off anyone I called a friend for going after my husband if we ever were to divorce. That’s just grimy and I don’t think Falynn is mad enough. I do know though, one of my followers who is a hair stylist said how she married one of her old client’s ex husband and child’s father. Do you think that’s acceptable? Say I did a woman’s hair for years and nothing besides that and I went on to date her ex?”

“Absolutely not. Unacceptable and I’m the type of crazy that belongs in jail so you already know how that’s gone gooo. It’ll forever be up until they give me life.” Zion laughed and shook her head, “Period. Porsha is most definitey a fucked up individual but I would LOVE to hear y’alls thoughts on the matter so leave alll comments in the comment section below.”

“Thank you all so much for listening to me and Brilliant catch up. Brilliant please tell my listeners where they can follow you and how they can support The Glamour Parlour. Alsooo, when’s the next brunch or giveaway?”

“It has been sooo fun talking with you! I’m glad I got the opportunity to talk with to boss friend Zion! I get this question a lot..so often.” She let out a low laugh. “All I’ll say is to stay tuned, we’ll be turning up soon and the giveaways won’t stop!”

“Ayyyy so there it is people, the beautiful Brilliant O’neal. Be sure to check her out across all social media platforms at @brillixdis and I’ll talk to you in the next episode. Byyyyyyyye.”

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olderthannetfic · 4 years

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Sorry if you’ve answered this question before but why do you, or your followers, think antis kind of exploded within these like 4-5 years? At least I feel like it did, I had to put hold on my fandom life to graduate and when I’ve come back not only they were much more visible they had much more influence over other people’s behaviour too. And it’s still increasing, at least I feel like that. I don’t really understand why now. Thanks for all the amazing history preservation efforts and take care.

Aww, thanks!

I’m not really sure why they’re “exploding”. I think it’s more about perception or critical mass than a sudden jump. The reality is probably a long, slow, steady progression, but the perception is “levels below the cutoff for unacceptable” and “now it’s awful”.

The seeds of this kind of radfem anti-kink crap have been around for ages, and fans have been increasingly repackaging standard wanks (like which ship is better or who should top) in terms of social justice for years.

At the same time, the world is going to shit and the kind of queer-friendly fandom that is eating its own right now is increasingly panicked about the state of things. Put a bunch of rats in a too-small cage, and the results are unpleasant.

I wouldn’t discount how much this kind of shit is going on everywhere, not just in fandom. It’s partly current events, but it’s also the long slow regressive slog from a relatively free internet to monetized corporate hell. We need to get the fuck off of cesspits like twitter and instagram that prioritize influencer bullshit, clickbait, and shoving people who hate each other together. Tumblr’s awful too, though at least it enables longer, more thoughtful responses... marginally. As I’ve said elsewhere, I have hopes for Bobaboard, and Dreamwidth still has many uses.

Antis and the alt right have opposite political stances for the most part, but you can track the crap-ification of social media by those racist fuckfaces ruining youtube and that kind of thing. The shitty, money-making design of social media that enables those pricks also enables antis. It seems like social media in general has become more of a shitshow of late.

I also can’t help but think that AO3 is a victim of its own success too and this is rippling through fandom.

I was just talking to someone young who commented that they used to hate AO3 for allowing “immoral” works before they realized why it looks how it does. In their fannish life, AO3 has always been there.

AO3 didn’t really get big till 2012, but that was 8 years ago, so people who were 13 then are now 21. People who were in college then are now in their late 20s. A huge chunk of anti-dom is fans who just don’t remember a fandom landscape pre-AO3. I’m talking fans who’ve spent a big chunk of their lives in fandom, fans who feel, with some justification, like they’re not n00bs and like they know shit.

Those fans have never known a world without AO3.

They have no concept of how embattled m/m content usually is outside of AO3 and certain tumblr bubbles.

They have no concept of how most purity wankers prior to this hated all m/m and painted queer people as child molesters and how sensitized a lot of us are to “purity” language.

They have no concept of how censorship hits queer content earliest and worst and jacks up the ratings on completely tame material.

They certainly have no concept of the feminist sex wars of the 80s, of queer activism in the 90s, or of queer, feminist, and fandom history in general.

Most “antis” aren’t the ones who engage in serious bullying. Most of them are fans who have values I more or less agree with. They’re just operating on the delusion that we can stop children from getting hurt by shutting down all the “bad” media or that there’s a magic bullet that will fix society’s ills. I’m sure these stupid ideas are comforting in an increasingly frightening world... But they’re also going to harm us in the long run and must be fought against.

The good news is that most fans are sick of fighting and being scared to speak their mind and get screamed at. Lots of people will de-escalate if given a chance to back down gracefully. And lots of people do change their minds with time and experience. But the platforms we inhabit try their hardest not to give us that chance.

#fandom meta #Anonymous

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ztafraternity · 4 years

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Assess your privilege. Be an ally.

By Suzanna Johnson, Province President, Inclusion Committee Member (Beta Psi alumna)

First and foremost – this post is specifically about how to be an ally to our black sisters. Many of the suggestions and ideas in this article can and should be applied to allyship for ANY marginalized group. But before someone responds to my thoughts and position that as an organization, we need not be afraid to say #BlackLivesMatter, with an “All Lives Matter” response, please know we are specifically discussing allyship to the black community. Yes, it goes without saying that all lives matter, but right now, in this time, our black sisters need the floor and the support (#sorrynotsorry). I recognize that for many, this topic and these conversations are difficult, but because our organization desires to continue to “enrich and ennoble our lives,” these words must be shared.

*This article is based on my opinions and my research and is not comprehensive of all opinions within the entire black community. If you’re ever unsure about what more you can do, don’t be afraid to ask or have the conversation with communities you’re looking to serve as an ally.*

What is happening right now?

Racial injustice and police brutality, which stem from a history riddled with systemic, structural, institutional and individual racism and white supremacy, plague this country. Why should Zetas care? Well, as a fellow sister once said in her blog, Cultures are not costumes and why Zetas should care, “caring for others is the foundation that our sisterhood is built on.”

Pictured: #SayTheirNames: This graphic displays a portion of the people of color who have died as a direct result of police brutality since 2014. (source)

Yes, historically, like many other predominantly white organizations, our sisterhood and organization did not welcome black women and other women of color when it was founded. But, our sisterhood and organization has changed since 1898. And I’m proud of the steps, however small, because but for those steps, I wouldn’t be a member; I wouldn’t be an advisor; I wouldn’t now be one of the first black National Officers for our organization.

I hope that Maud, Della, Mary, Ethel, Helen, Frances, Ruby and the Alices would be proud of the progress we’ve made as an organization. I hope that they would look at our membership of over 275,000 women strong and beam with excitement at the diversity we’ve achieved thus far and push us to continue to do better—to make the stand that #BlackLivesMatter. So, while we historically were an organization built by and for a single race, my friends, “times they are a changin’,” and as Zetas we owe it to ourselves and our organization to evolve.

I realize you may have questions about how to be a good ally. I’ll answer a few key questions in each of the following sections.

What key terms should you know?

So, let’s learn some key words/terms you’ve probably heard but never had broken down for you (at least not like this).

What is individual racism?

This is most easily explained as the default definition when you think of “racism.” It is the individual beliefs or behaviors and racist assumptions, which are often reinforced by structural racism (see below). Examples are often seen in the form of racist jokes or comments that someone believes in the inherent superiority of white people over all people of color (source) —which leads us to….

What is white supremacy?

If you’re like me, graphics are always easier to process, so here’s the best way I can explain it, with some help from the experts. The graphic addresses white supremacy through the lens of social norms. Note that all examples in the graphic fall under the category of white supremacy and are unacceptable practices.

(image source)

What is systemic/structural/institutional racism?

These are policies and practices in established institutions resulting in the exclusion of designated groups. (source)

What does this mean?!?

Well, in layman's terms, it means that as a result of U.S. history and continued ideologies, your black sisters are set up (unless something changes), to be forever marginalized as a group within society.

Don’t believe me?

Here are the facts:

The black unemployment rate is twice that of whites. (source)

Job applicants with “white sounding” names get called back 50% more often than applicants with “black sounding” names, even when they have identical resumes. (source)

Black students are three times more likely than white students to be suspended for the same infraction. (source)

Blacks make up 13% of the population and represent 40% of the prison population. (source)

When black people are convicted, they are 20% more likely to be sentenced to jail time and typically see sentences 20% longer than those for whites who are convicted of the same crimes. (source)

More than 7.4% of the black population is disenfranchised (stripped of the right to vote) as a result of felony convictions versus 1.8% of the non-black population. (source)

Black women are four times more likely to die from childbirth. (source)

For every $100 in white family wealth, black families hold $5.04. (source: New York Times via the U.S. Census Bureau)

For every $100 white families earn in income, black families earn $57.30. (source: New York Times via the U.S. Census Bureau)

Black drivers are 20% more likely to be pulled over than whites. (source)

I’ve included a graphic from @theconciouskid, designed by @courtneyahndesign below, which further demonstrates what systemic racism looks in society. Click here to see the full series.

What can you do?

You’ve got the hard facts. Now, what can you do to help effect change?

Educate yourself

If you’re a collegian…

Read books/articles/watch documentaries. This list from Time is a great place to start. Check out these films: 13th on Netflix (Ava DuVernay), When They See Us on Netflix (Ava DuVernay), and The Hate U Give on Hulu (George Tillman Jr.)

Have conversations. Proactively talk with your family, friends and community leaders about these issues. Hold your friends and family accountable when they perpetuate anti-black ideologies.

Utilize the upcoming resources from ZTA’s Inclusion Committee.

Hold events on campus with National Pan-Hellenic Council groups that bring awareness to these issues. For anyone who is unsure what organizations are under NPHC, here you go.

If you’re an alumna, your life looks a little different than a collegian’s, but what you can do to effect change includes all the above, plus ONE MORE THING…

Talk to your children early. There it is: Educate your children and raise them to be advocates.

This graphic explains how children learn about race and can help guide your discussions.

This article gives great advice about how to talk about race with children.

Recognize your privilege

Understand the definition of white privilege. Again, here I have to defer to some well-created graphics to easily explain this concept. Check out the graphic below for a quick explanation and see the full series here

Like this article says, “Accept the reality of this country’s dynamics.” The sooner we accept it, the sooner we can change it. Let’s not be ostriches with our heads buried in the sand.

Use your privilege to fight with and for those who are marginalized.

STOP appropriation

The Cambridge Dictionary defines appropriation as “the act of taking or using things from a culture that is not your own, especially without showing that you understand or respect this culture.”

STOP picking apart pieces of black culture whenever you want to benefit yourself financially or gain likes on social media.

Examples: Wearing darker/tanner makeup to make yourself look darker, putting your hair in cornrows, wearing a weave or any historically black hairstyles.

Check out this article and this article with some more specific examples and explanations of what has been called “blackfishing” on Twitter.

LISTEN!

Listen to podcasts like “The Nod,” “Code Switch” and “Come Through with Rebecca Carroll.” Check out this list to find even more options.

“Uplift the voices and experiences of people of color so that we are not continuously drowned out and ignored.” (source)

Remember, it is NOT our responsibility to educate you on these topics simply because we are black.

Donate

https://blacklivesmatter.com/

https://www.reclaimtheblock.org/home

https://www.naacpldf.org/

https://www.themarshallproject.org/donate

https://bailproject.org/

https://www.cuapb.org/what_we_do

https://www.knowyourrightscamp.com/

And many others….

Stay informed

#RocktheVote and choose to support and elect officials who have a track record of ensuring the most marginalized among us are heard and advocated for.

Follow social media pages like: @theconsciouskid and @rachel.cargle

Follow the relevant hashtags: #BlackLivesMatter #AhmaudArbery #JusticeForFloyd

Still have questions?

Here are some more great resources for you.

Join our Panhellenic friends at Delta Gamma Fraternity for a talk about the impact of microaggressions on June 10 at 8 p.m. EDT. Register here.

Read about white anti-racism in this Q&A style article.

This is a list of 75 things white people can do for racial justice.

Learn more about being a strong ally with these racial equity tools.

Spend some time on the NAACP website. Click around and learn more about racial inequality, how to be a good ally and more.

#reads

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ineedrelationshipadvice · 4 years

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I’ve been in a relationship 6 months now, and all has gone well until my bf and I had a huge fight. After, he ended up apologizing because what he had done that started the argument was pretty messed up. So, here’s my problem: I am not at all used to conflict in any type of relationship, whether it be with my partner or friends, etc. Because of this, I really have no idea how much is normal and what things are acceptable to forgive and forget or not. Any advice?

This might surprise you, but the minimal amount of conflict is obviously ideal in any relationship, friendship or otherwise. Most people don't actively want to be fighting with anyone, much less fighting with your significant other. That's not to say arguments don't happen, because they do, and they're just a part of life. But knowing that they can be avoided, but not entirely, can put you in a generally healthy, mature mindset to accept what may happen in the future.

So, what is the ideal amount? There's no number that can be set to it, and I think that setting such a number would diminish the larger issue, because if it was below that number, it could still be unacceptable, and if it was above that number, it could still be acceptable.

Real conflict, and deciding whether it's healthy or not, really comes down to: 1) Severity, 2) Intent, 3) Reaction. To explain this, I'm going to give a couple examples of conflict in my personal relationships, to kinda show you how this informal system works.

Several weeks ago, I had a conflict with my romantic partner. They were really getting on my nerves in very subtle ways, and I already wasn't in a good mood. I tend to be a very forgiving person, so I mostly just brushed off their behaviour which I didn't like. But they kept going and going, being dumb, aggravating me, and frustrating me. Then eventually, I snapped back at them, because I couldn't just stay there and take it, and they got really upset that I snapped at them. I explained myself and why I snapped, they apologized because they didn't know my mood, and we moved on.

1) Severity - was the issue severe? Not too severe. On a scale, I'd say the severity of this conflict was like a 5/10. It wasn't pointless, because I was very upset and concerned, but the fight itself wasn't that big, and the topic of the fight while important, wasn't anything that couldn't be cleared up.

2) Intent - why was the fight caused? I didn't cause this fight in bad faith. I was having a legitimate problem, and I lashed out because of that exact problem. I didn't mean to hurt, and I wasn't trying to be passive-aggressive; I was just actively aggressive for an immediate problem I was experiencing.

3) Reaction - what happened as a result of the fight? We moved on.

In this example, the problem was semi-serious, but not that bad. There was a good reason for the fight, even if the fight wasn't good, and even if the reasons for the fight could have been avoided; you can't avoid everything, and sometimes bad vibes just happen. The reaction? We immediately moved on. This is a generally healthy way to manage a conflict, because the end result of pretty much any fight should be the "hug it out and move on" stage, just like when we were kids.

Now another example.

Last week, my friend was antagonizing another friend. It started out simply, with a little bit of passive-aggression in the form of a joke. They were deliberately pretending to misunderstand my friend due to a semantic argument, which was already a bit disingenuous, but it was a joke right? When my friend explained their side of the issue, the first friend deliberately misconstrued what they said, and continued to say that their understanding was the right understanding (this was apparently hilarious to them). My second friend re-explained the issue, in even more clear terms, to which the first friend doubled-down again, suggesting that their understanding was the right understanding. This is where I intervened. I said that they were acting deliberately dumb to antagonize my second friend. They said it was just a joke, and several other people tried to diffuse the situation, but they tripled-down on the issue, making a really petty comment about the second friend, and then told me directly that I was completely misunderstanding the situation, then insulting my age, being directly passive-aggressive to me by implying it's still all just a joke. I directly confronted them in private, and was like, "what the fuck dude?" They insisted it was all just a big joke, and they didn't meant harm. I was passive-aggressive in my resolution, and the fight was resolved.

1) Severity - was the issue severe? It started at maybe a 2/10, but it was very quickly escalating into personal insults, which is why I intervened. Between myself and the person, I'd probably put it on a scale of 6/10, because this has been an ongoing personal issue between myself and them, so it's a multitude of problems all at once, not just one argument.

2) Intent - why was the fight caused. For shitty reasons. They were being a shitlord, and actively trying to be troll my second friend for literally no good reason except "jokes." It was unacceptable. This was proven when I directly confronted them and they pushed off the insults and "jokes" onto me instead, and they still wouldn't just be open and honest with me when I took the conversation somewhere private.

3) Reaction - what happened as a result of the fight. We moved on, but on bad terms. The friend felt totally justified in what they did, even though two people had disagreements with their mood and tone, myself included. Although I brushed it off, and don't know how it affected my second friend, the first friend was happy as a daffodil because they think they put the second friend in their place with their jokes.

As you can see, the tenor of this fight is completely different from the first example. One person is being actively hostile, the other defending themself, and me in the middle not only receiving the same insults, but the argument - although sort of resolved - never really came to a conclusion, and all parties left feeling like shit.

These are two examples of arguments, both very different, and both of different severity. And you probably don't need an explanation of which one of these is healthy, and which one of these is not. So now apply the same logic to your argument. I'll do it with you, with the information you have presented.

1) Severity - You say it was bad, so let's put this at a 7/10. You know all the context, so feel free to rank it as you please. 2) Intent - You mention he apologized, so by my assumption, he either wanted to hurt you in the moment, and regretted it, or he didn't meant to hurt you but did. Again, you know the full context. 3) Reaction - He apologized.

What I can see by this is that, even if it was serious, this was a generally healthy argument. Because again, you kissed and made up with his apology. Even if the argument still stings like an open wound, that's okay, because the apology acts as a bandage to start the healing process. Compare that to my negative argument, which had no apology and no real resolution, so when us friends are socializing again, that sting is going to still be biting, and if they continue to be a butthole it'll probably result in a new argument forming.

How to deal with arguments in your own life moving forward? The keys are to always approach them with an open mindset. Again, arguments happen, even if you're amazing at avoiding them. When they occur, try to realize you're arguing in the moment. If you feel yourself getting heated, upset, or tearful, just STOP. Take a deep breath, and try to break up the fight. "Hey, listen, I don't want to talk about this while we're fighting. Let's talk about this later when we've had a moment to calm down." After you have calmed down, try to talk about the fight rationally, and see how things resolved. Apologies usually happen at this stage. If the person apologizes for what happened, then do your best to accept and move on; if you can't accept because the argument was too severe, then try to find some other sort of resolution that will make you and the other party happy in concluding the argument.

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carolineguzewiczcrim · 5 years

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Slavery Era

Slavery Era Rebellion does not always have to be crying from the rooftops, it can be sneaky and silent and quite literally, underground. If anything, having to be sneaky makes you smarter. It forces you to think outside of the box because thinking inside the box just like everyone else will get you caught. The Underground Railroad, a secret slave society lead by saviors of an otherwise abhorrent time, is a perfect example of this subliminal resistance to what most people thought was right; at least, the people who were in charge ‘above’ ground. The thing about quilts is that the stories they tell are passed down traditionally by oral story-telling. “The idea of quilts being used in the Underground Railroad for purposes other than bedding was not mentioned either in the written documents of the period or in the interviews given years later. That is not to say they could not have been used in a form not discussed. However, care must be taken not to romanticize this possibility” (Underground Railroad Quilt Code). Every stitch is a symbol and every pattern tells a story. For a population that was restricted from learning how to read and write and communicate in the commonly ‘conventional’ white-way of speaking, visual art such as quilt-making allowed for slaves who couldn’t interpret words to be able to interpret patterns in a way that their white counterparts wouldn’t think twice about. While all of this is still up for questioning, I find it very plausible and commendable if it is indeed true. Either way, quilt-making is still very pertinent to the culture of the Underground Railroad. The fact that it is underground raises a lot of important points for me. 1. The way in which we govern our society is so rigid and unaccepting of difference. There are more ways than one to learn or communicate or just simply to live just there are more manifestations of the human race than just white or black. The fact that we are color-blind now isn’t helping us, it’s just ignoring that fact 2. Your voice is wildly important. Whether it be through spoken word or written on a page or shown through color and imagery, what you have to say is literally all you have to offer. The way you say it, although it can still be governed by the same rigid policies as aforementioned, is understood depending on your audience. Giving former slaves the chance to share their stories through written narratives is something vital to our understanding today. The Slave Narrative Project, which allowed for a wide variety of people to share and have their experiences published are a perfect example of this, and something that should be shared and made more available to the general public in order to make this kind of first-hand information for available to all since they usually are silenced the most. Although education of reading and writing was restricted, some slaves still managed to pick up some skills during their enslavement as well as after being freed from captivity. They write how they speak, which is not ‘perfect’ English but it is still English. Most of the accounts in The Federal Writer’s Project, however, are transcribed from interviews between the head of the project and those who agreed to be interviewed. Quinn-Tuttle from Texarkana, Arkansas, when asked if he wanted to take part in the project, “readily agreed to answer all my questions as best he could”. When recounting his experience after the war in The Federal Writers' Project, he says: “Not long after de negroes wuz freed, I took 86 ob dem to de votin’ place at Homan and voted ‘em all straight Democratic. On my way back home dat evenin’ five negroes jumped frum de bushes and stopped me. Dey ‘splained dat I wuz too ‘fluential wid de negroes and proceeded to string me up by de neck. I hollers as loud as I could, and Roy Nash and Hugh Burton, de election officers, just happen to be comin’ down de road and hear me yell. Dey ran off de n*gg*rs and put me down, but by dat time I had passed out”. I chose this specific narrative because I found the name interesting: “Quinn-Tuttle”, and as I rad the above statement I thought it was interesting for a couple of different reasons. 1. The fact he was able to convince that many people to vote and be able to have them do so, considering the fact that voting was so barred from many African Americans. Also the fact that he had them all vote Democrat. I’m not exactly sure when the switch between what Democratic was during the slavery era to what it is today, but it might explain the second question it raised for me if it hadn’t switched yet which is in regards to: 2. The fact that it was other African Americans who retaliated against him and the election officials (who more than likely were white although it is not explicitly stated) were the ones who saved him. Either way, it’s still very interesting the way in which his responses are recorded, paying careful attention to the grammar (or lack there of) and the spelling of the words in which he was saying coming out differently than what they are supposed to on paper. I wonder if maybe even the interviewer took the liberty of purposefully making some words more off the mark than others when it comes down to the spelling, since they had the autonomy in recording his spoken answers onto paper and he might not know the difference either way. I’m also curious to know if he had any type of access to the recorded information after it was taken down at all or if he was just trusting that the interviewer would do him justice in the end. To be restricted to right to learn but then discriminated against for being illiterate is the pinnacle of hypocrisy and a common theme that has seemed to reiterate itself through our history. We criminalize certain people by placing them into social-constructs that force them into these made-up definitions of what we think they should be and then we criticize them for it. Very similar to how we still do this day criticize slang used by African Americans and their dialect in general, even though it’s the same as any other diverse way of speaking, it’s just the people who are doing it that we seem to have a problem with. If you have any thoughts, opinions, stories to add or questions this posed for you, leave them in the comment section of this post with the hashtag #FreedomANDspeech if your post is in regards to slave narratives and language barriers/issues or #SecretUnderground if your post has to do with the Underground Railroad and the secret language of rebellion. If you’re interested in doing any further research, below are some links which I used that tell more about what I covered briefly above and also feel free to leave any links you find that may be pertinnent as well! Additional Resources: For more information of the Underground Railroad Quilt Code: http://www.quilthistory.com/ugrrquilts.htm For access to more Slave Narratives click here: https://www.loc.gov/collections/slave-narrativesfrom-the-federal-writers-project-1936-to-1938/about-this-collection/

#FreedomANDspeech SecretUnderground

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kianholt99-blog · 6 years

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Has Social media led to a hyper- sensitive society?

The beauty of social media is that it allows for freedom of speech (to an extent). Everyone has a voice, and everyone is prepared to use it. Whether it’s posting a picture onto Instagram or publishing a weekly blog about a subject you’re interested in, everything anyone does on social media is open to an opinion and criticism.

According to the Telegraph, over 300,000 teenagers have admitted to spending upwards of 8 hours a day on the weekends partaking in online activities. The more time you spend on social media, the more you are exposed to the harsh realities of opening yourself to anyone on the internet.

The greatest asset of social media is also its biggest weakness, as anyone can say anything without having to face the consequences of saying the same comment in face to face communication. This has led to the increase of internet “trolls”.

A troll is a person who starts issues online with the sole aim of upsetting or aggravating people. Although trolling began as an often harmless activity (often seen as banter), it has quickly intensified to the stage by which online users experience unpleasant comments that hurt their feelings.

The main issue with people feeling offended is due to the fact that computer mediated conversation does not accommodate for paralinguistic features that are evident in face to face communication. For example, the tone and facial expression coupled with the word contributes to the meaning of what is being said. However, online the participants cannot always see the manner in which the comment is said, leading to interpretation being key in understanding. This is a major issue that young adults experience on a daily basis, as people often forget that they are communicating with humans that have real feelings. This is seen through suicide being the third largest killer of people 15-24. Online communication also allows for comments to be entrenched into the users brain as they can always see the comment, unlike in face to face communication, by which a comment may not be taken seriously through the manner in which it is said. However, it could also be argued that people are becoming too sensitive due to social media as you do not see features that you would in real life.

A controversial issue has recently been brought to light through H&M releasing clothing with the slogan of “coolest monkey in the jungle” with an African American child modelling the item of clothing. Ostensibly, this comment may seem innocent, as children are often referred to monkeys due to their hyperactive nature. However, the slogan coupled with the image can connote imagery of slavery and infers negative connotations towards black people. Especially at such a sensitive time socially in the United States and I can understand why people would take offence to such a comment. This led to a popular U.S rapper, G-Eazy, parting ways with the company, solely due to this issue(*). Although, many people have come forward to appeal against the decision to stop mass producing the clothing.

Controversies like this bring into question the notion of free speech, as many people believe that it is important to express your opinion without the potential of backlash. It needs to be noted that there are things that are totally unacceptable to say, as they are seen as racist, homophobic, transphobic etc. but I believe that people should be able to express the way they feel if their comment is not intended to intentionally offend large and vulnerable communities.

Recently, Joe Rogan invited the CEO of twitter onto his podcast to discuss the controversies surrounding the platform taking down certain accounts. Below is a link to this. (Disclaimer: The podcast is over 3 hours long!) The podcast shows that there are many different avenues that can lead to people feeling offence and ponders the idea if political correctness has gone too far and if the concept has flawed, due to perceived leanings with liberal ideologies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZCBRHOg3PQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbTXqrS9l5E

Let me know what you think about the idea of political correctness in the comments below!

(*) https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/g-eazy-ends-hm-partnership-over-disturbing-racially-insensitive-ad-123625/

#joerogan #social media #political correctness

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newsworld-nw · 11 months

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Paris Hilton has doubled down on 'unacceptable' comments she made about her son's appearance in a heartfelt message

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a-wandering-fool · 6 years

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The Antifa mob, which showed up at the DC home of Tucker Carlson, not only terrorized his wife, but also vandalized a car and the driveway. The incident is now being investigated as a possible hate crime.

The Associated Press reports:

Protesters target home of Fox News’ Tucker Carlson

Police say they are investigating a protest and vandalism at the home of Fox News host Tucker Carlson as a possible hate crime. It’s the latest example of protesters targeting the personal lives of Trump administration officials and allies in the D.C. area.

Carlson, in a phone interview with his network Thursday night, called the incident “chilling” and “upsetting.”

Washington’s Metropolitan Police Department reported that officers were summoned to Carlson’s home Wednesday evening and found about 20 protesters and a commonly used anarchy symbol spray-painted on the driveway.

A brief video posted on social media by a group calling itself “Smash Racism DC” shows people standing outside a darkened home and chanting, “Tucker Carlson, we will fight. We know where you sleep at night.”

The video was later removed from Twitter.

There were no arrests, but police confiscated several signs. The report lists the incident as a “suspected hate crime” on the basis of “anti-political” bias.

Executives at FOX News released a statement. Peter Hasson reports at the Daily Caller:

Fox News CEO Suzanne Scott and president Jay Wallace denounced a left-wing mob that showed up outside Fox News host Tucker Carlson’s house and tried to intimidate him into fleeing Washington, D.C.

“The incident that took place at Tucker’s home last night was reprehensible. The violent threats and intimidation tactics toward him and his family are completely unacceptable,” Scott and Wallace said in a statement released to The Daily Caller News Foundation on Thursday.

“We as a nation have become far too intolerant of different points of view. Recent events across our country clearly highlight the need for a more civil, respectful, and inclusive national conversation. Those of us in the media and in politics bear a special obligation to all Americans, to find common ground,” the Fox New executives added.

Some liberals in media condemned the act on Twitter. Brian Stelter of CNN:

Inexcusable. Whether you love or hate Carlson, we should all be able to see that this behavior is wrong. https://t.co/vfXpKz7usi

— Brian Stelter (@brianstelter) November 8, 2018

Stephen Colbert:

Fighting Tucker Carlson’s ideas is an American right. Targeting his home and terrorizing his family is an act of monstrous cowardice. Obviously don’t do this, but also, take no pleasure in it happening. Feeding monsters just makes more monsters.

— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) November 8, 2018

While others used it as an excuse to double down. Jennifer Rubin of the Washington Post used it as an excuse to attack Sarah Huckabee Sanders:

I condemn harassment and threatening conduct of any sort (shame on the protesters who showed up at Tucker Carlson’s home and made threats); however, after leaving office, she deserves none of the niceties normally accorded to others in her position. https://t.co/15giMYGngP

— Jennifer Rubin (@JRubinBlogger) November 8, 2018

Matthew Yglesias of VOX had a disgusting take and has since deleted his entire Twitter history but Sean Davis of the Federalist has a screen shot:

“Siri, show me a sociopath.” pic.twitter.com/haQscpIs7k

— Sean Davis (@seanmdav) November 8, 2018

Davis is not the only person using the word “sociopath” to describe that tweet. Ace of Spadeswrites:

Little children gain the power of empathy through imagination and experience. They know what it feels like to be physically hurt; it makes them cry.

For a period, they cannot imagine what it might feel like to someone else to be hurt, and they laugh at other’s hurts; but eventually, the power of empathetic imagination develops, and they can see themselves in the other person being hurt, and they link it to their own memories of being hurt, and they feel empathy.

Empathy makes us human, obviously. The Voigt-Kampff test from Blade Runner could tell a robot from a human being based on the subject showing, or not showing, the physical signs of empathy for another living being.

These NPCs are very much like human-shaped robots. They’re sociopaths. They’re Replicants. They are incapable of seeing other people and wondering what terror feels like from their perspective.

And they’re proud of it. Yglesias is bragging about being a sociopath here.

Tucker, who is on planned vacation time, did call in to his show on Thursday night to comment. Here’s part of what he said to guest host Brian Kilmeade via the Washington Times:

Tucker Carlson condemns Antifa mob: ‘This is a threat to freedom of expression … to all of us’

Fox News host Tucker Carlson said on his show Thursday night that the previous day’s Antifa attack on his home is also a general attack on free thought and free speech.

He said that the Antifa mob vandalizing his home, blocking off the streets and yelling about pipe bombs, and knocking on his doors aren’t engaged in the marketplace of ideas.

“I’ve characterized Antifa and the like as protesters. But they’re not. What are they protesting?” by rioting outside his home and painting anarchy symbols on the driveway, Mr. Carlson said via phone to substitute host Brian Kilmeade.

“They’re not trying to change my mind. They’re trying to threaten my family to get me to stop talking.”

You can hear more in the tweet below:

People feel like they have to shut up. That they can’t say what they think because they’ll be punished. This has a chilling effect on everyone’s ability to speak and think freely. pic.twitter.com/YOAtTAhMNc

— Tucker Carlson (@TuckerCarlson) November 9, 2018

It’s important to note that this did not occur out of thin air. The left has been building towards this for months. Remember that the mob outside Tucker’s home said “we know where you sleep” and then take a look at this now deleted September 18th tweet by Ian Millhiser, an editor for the far left site Think Progress:

=================

This violent shit from the left gotta stop...

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anonthenullifier · 7 years

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scarlet visions meeting the rest of the young avengers?

Hello! This one is quite a bit outside of my comfort zone as I do not write anything Young Avengers, but I’ll give it a shot. Side note: I did not include Vision/Jonas because, in my Scarlet Vision timeline/series I really have no firm idea how he would come to exist.

I hope you enjoy it!

“What do you think?”

Vision shifts his hips as he leans forward, heels tapping the side of the building they are sitting atop as he considers his wife’s question. The skirmish below has been persisting for almost twenty three and a half minutes, a time that is not unacceptable, per se, but also not impressive given the opponent is a low level necromancer with a small contingent of undead henchmen. He and Wanda could dispense of such foes in less than five minutes and forty five seconds (as the most conservative estimate) and that includes at least three brushes of his hand along Wanda’s back and one lost-in-the-moment kiss (they’re signature move, or so they have been informed). “They are a bit,” the sheer variety of flashing colors due to the powerful attacks is disorienting from up here, so he imagines it is far worse on the ground, which could be contributing to the overall fight, “discombobulated.”

“Yeah, they aren’t working together, like,” Wanda releases her grip on the thermos of hot chocolate, the air this high frigid, only part of the reason they are snuggled close, his cape and arm wrapped around her, and points a finger at the fight, “Tommy keeps breaking from the group to run, he knows better than that.”

A habit their son has been quite insistent on not breaking, even with various lessons of teamwork in the backyard. “I believe that could be slightly contributed to Billy working closely with,” the roster for the Young Avenger Initiative streams through his mind until he lands on the correct face, “Hulkling, perhaps Tommy is unable to apply our lessons to a group of three.”

“Billy does seem very comfortable with Teddy.” Her voice is identical to the way both Tony and Natasha would talk to him about Wanda, a long long time ago.

“I believe you set the rule we could not insinuate his relationship until he expressly informs us.”

Wanda bumps his shoulder, an action that requires barely any movement to be effective given their close proximity, “I don’t think they can hear us up here.” The hot chocolate hovers to her lips as they watch the continued attacks below, each action and movement unhelpfully independent from the others in the team. “Oh, Cassie’s growing.”

Stature, or so her file indicates is her preferred hero name, is gigantic yet again, but Vision cannot tell if the growth is strategic and purposeful or part of every hero’s experimentation (Wanda calls it a guessing game) with their newfound abilities. “Hawkeye has broken another window.”

“So when do we step in?”

Vision finds his shoulders rising and falling of their own accord as he runs through Captain Rogers’ instructions. “We were told to only intervene if there is a teachable moment, otherwise we must remain purely observational.”

“Well I’d say not working as a team is teachable,” something Vision wholeheartedly concurs with, “just have to wait for Nate to re-materialize from wherever he went.”

Iron Lad’s file is the densest of the group, a dizzying yet enjoyable puzzle Vision spent the afternoon studying, yet he still shares Wanda’s exasperation at watching the young man flicker and weave in and out of the fight. “How shall we proceed, once he returns?”

The thermos hovers again as her eyes squint, lips pursing in contemplation and the sight fills him with a comfortable, familiar warmth. “I say we go with a shield drop and then,” Wanda hums a little as she continues to watch the melee, body wiggling slightly while she cycles through the available attack patterns, “I’ll do a Scarlet burst while you take out the henchmen and we end with a Poltergeist.”

Her plan would certainly eliminate the threat, but, “That is quite dramatic.”

Wanda shrugs at this, “They’re more likely to remember something showy.”

A tactic they have occasionally fallen back on when training the boys, particularly for dull and repetitive drills. If they can demonstrate how the skill might lead to a full powered application, then the repetitiveness is suddenly deemed worthwhile. “Very well. Nathaniel is back.”

Vision stands first, hand reaching down to help Wanda up, her powers rearranging their observation tools into neat piles they can easily retrieve afterwards. Once Wanda is ready she turns towards him, the giddy grin on her face one she flashes him anytime they’re about to, in her words, kick some serious ass. She steps towards him, their bodies flush, a requirement of the maneuver, and her hands trace the vibranium clasp of his cape, “Remember, Maximoff, I’m not as young as I used to be.”

He wraps his arms around her waist, bending to place a kiss to her lips that accompanies his whispered promise, “I will be gentle.”

A synchronized, centering inhale and they exhale while stepping off the edge of the building, a scarlet concave shield forming underneath their feet, helping to even out the rush of air billowing his cape and her hair upwards. One minor turn of their bodies realigns them closer to the villain and that’s when he increases his density to speed up their descent, Wanda’s powers flowing more steadily in preparation of landing, and then, right at the last second, Vision goes incorporeal, depositing Wanda in a bubble of pulsating red on the ground as he phases through the cement. Based on visual data from their reconnaissance on the roof, he emerges precisely four feet from Wanda, hands phasing into the undead henchman within a millisecond of reappearing. In his periphery, as he phases and dismantles the lackeys, he can see the mesmerizing crackle of scarlet in the air and its reflection on the building, a technique meant to disorient a foe (and sometimes him, if he is not careful). Vision also intercepts chatter via his auditory processor some Wows a holy shit and then, a smile forming on his face at once again embarrassing his children, a plaintive and annoyed seriously from Billy and an unfortunate expletive from Tommy (which means yet one more lecture on language and perhaps mentioning the continued issue with Steve).

The density shifting assault continues until Wanda’s powers grow into an overwhelming frenzy, a long established cue for the next phase of the attack, the last henchman crumbling to the ground as Vision hovers, bringing his body horizontal and parallel to the ground. He flies directly towards his wife, phasing just as he reaches her, her body shivering at his passing through, and then he bursts from the cloud of scarlet, advancing on the necromancer and solidifying his body just in time to deliver a blow to the man’s chest, sending him backwards onto the ground. Scarlet ropes tether the man to the cement, Wanda sauntering up next to Vision, her hand dipping below his cape for a congratulatory squeeze, which kickstarts his body into an operantly conditioned response of turning towards his wife, his fingers tangling in her hair as he breathes in her essence, their mouths meeting and the world simply falling away.

Tommy’s irritated, “What are you doing here?” forces them to remember that they are here for a purpose.

A slow, easy step backwards angles Vision’s body towards the teens, their faces familiar from the files, their attributes and personalities clear in his head based on the stories the boys tell, but this is the first time meeting the members of the initiative. Half of them stand with arms crossed and perturbed stares, while the others form a spectrum from amused to curious to horrified (Billy, in this instance). “Captain Rogers assigned Wanda and myself to supervise your mission.”

Iron Lad, one of the arms-crossed cohort, and, from Vision’s understanding, the de facto leader, wades into the conversation. “Last I checked supervising’s not the same as intervening.”

“You are correct.”

Wanda’s hand brushes his shoulder, a tight smile on her face lets Vision know she wishes to handle the issue, and so he stops talking, acquiescing to her desire with a small nod. “We also had orders to step in if we felt you weren’t performing at your best.” She shrugs, it’s small, indifferent, but that is not the same as meek, the dismissive and authoritative tone of her voice setting the young heroes up to challenge her at their own risk, “You were nowhere near your best.”

The comment incites many displeased glares, a muttered bullshit from someone that better not have been Tommy, yet none of the young heroes immediately counter back. In the two second silence, Vision determines to utilize a softer approach meant to harmonize Wanda’s bluntness, a, as he has heard in the common lexicon, good-cop, bad-cop paradigm. “Why were,” Vision realizes they had not determined what to go by in the presence of Billy and Tommy’s compatriots, whether they remain causal with first names, go formal with Mr. and Mrs. Maximoff, or if they utilize hero names, for which his is no different than the casual but Wanda has some social distance. He determines to remain undecided and rely on pronouns and hand gestures to clarify the subjects of his sentence, “we able to subdue the foe far quicker than you?”

Cassie shrugs, gloved hand flinging out to the side to emphasize the obviousness of the response, “Because you’ve been heroes forever.”

A fair statement but not specific enough, so Vision tries the question from a more direct angle, “Though true, that is not sufficient to justify how we eliminated the threat in three minutes and thirty four seconds and you were unable to do so in the twenty eight minutes and fifty six seconds before our intervention.” The information might have a greater impact on them than Wanda’s prior words, if the increased gloom on their faces is an indication. “What actions did we take that differed from your own and thus contributed to our efficiency?”

“Listen,” Kate - or Hawkeye, as she has been passed the mantle from Clint, a surprise to everyone that it was not one of his own children to carry on the name (though that was a relief to Laura) - points her bow first at Vision and Wanda, “if I have to make-out with them,” the bow sweeps to the right to indicate the rest of the team, “to win a fight, I’m out.”

Sniggers follow her sardonic response, though Billy seems to be blanching at the turn in conversation, and then Cassie throws an arm over the archer’s shoulder, “You know I’m the best choice.”

“That,” Vision glances at Wanda, receiving an unhelpful shrug as the teens in front of them begin arguing over who would be the ideal makeout partner to end a fight, “that is not the,” the thing with having twin boys is that there is always arguing over which, sometimes, unfortunately, one must raise a voice to get attention back. What Vision failed to consider is the amplification of distracted chatter that would occur with numerous individuals of this age. “Wanda?”

A scarlet spark erupts in the middle of the group with a, “Pay attention.” The only two that look somewhat remorseful are Hulkling and Iron Lad, but at least the rest are quiet, mostly. “Making out has only ever won us three, maybe four fights. Plus,” a warning rings in her voice as Wanda moves her gaze across each of their faces, “only consensual making out during and after fights.”

“I-” Vision nods, trying to follow-up the comment but insteads cycles back to the original, “Yes, thank you. What tactical difference was there between your fight and ours?”

Being an Avenger has been Vision’s full-time job from his creation, one he has considered leaving, on occasion, but can never fully commit to such an enormous change. In this moment, with the silence thickening as elongated seconds pass and the group in front of him all seem interested in everything but him, he determines being a teacher is not in his future, his fingers growing antsy at the continued hush. But then Teddy meets his eyes, an unsure but hopeful smirk on his face as he raises his hand, “Yes, Hulkling?”

“Um, well, Vis- Mr. Maximoff?” At least he is not alone in his uncertainty of names, “Maybe we could have been more,” he lifts his hands, starting them far apart and swooping them until they meet, fingers clasped, “together in our attacks?”

Wanda sends them all a beaming, proud smile, “Yes, your teamwork and cohesiveness needs a lot of work.” Her arm loops through Vision’s, tugging him towards her until their sides are touching, “We trained over and over and over again on coordinated attacks, studied each others powers-”

A quiet, “And mouths,” comes from the archer but Wanda keeps moving without acknowledgement.

“It is rare that one person alone eliminates a threat.” She pauses, emphasizing the fact. “Figure out how to be a unit and you won’t have to be saved by us again.”

The words may sink in, they may not, none of the individuals in front of them betray their thoughts, until Iron Lad nods, lips arching downwards in thought. “I think we,” he turns to his teammates, “should go work on that.”

A chorus of sures and okays go along with the decision as the group starts to leave, Billy and Tommy hanging back, clearly torn between what to do, though Vision is not certain why. “So,” Billy interlaces his fingers while he haltingly proceeds with his thought, “can we go or do we have, you know, curfew?”

“I believe in this instance,” Vision mentally confirms his answer with Wanda before offering it to the boys, “you may be home later than usual.”

“Awesome.”

Once the boys are gone, the necromancer deposited safely in a containment cell awaiting a meeting with a judge in the morning, and they are back home, snuggled on the couch, Wanda nodding off on his chest as his hands work through her hair, he finally reaches a decision he had been waiting to make until he’d been able to process the evening. “They seem an admirable group.”

#scarlet vision #vision #wanda maximoff #billy kaplan #tommy shepherd #hulkling #cassie lang #iron lad #kate bishop #teddy #Young Avengers #the maximoffs #fanfic #mine #ask anon #seriously I don't really know anything about YA #so I hope this is somewhat accurate #this will probably be the last thing I write with the YA #thanks for the ask

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theliberaltony · 6 years

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via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Matt Lauer was fired last year from his job co-hosting NBC’s “Today” show in response to allegations of “sexual harassment.” Or was it “inappropriate sexual behavior”? Maybe “sexual misconduct.” These are all headlines about the same reports — just using different language to describe them. As the media scrambles to cover wave after wave of accusations, the variation in language is making an already difficult national conversation about what crosses the line even more so.

The #MeToo movement, a campaign against sexual violence that gained national attention from media reports on allegations against former Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein, is no monolith. It has brought to light violent sexual wrongs whose heinousness makes them easily identifiable as not only grave moral transgressions but also potential legal ones. Alongside the black-and-white cases, however, are those that involve more subtle behaviors — unwanted touching, offensive jokes, staring and intrusive questions. And it is typically this latter category that has left society at a frustrating loss for words.

This inability to distinguish between different types of unwanted sexual behaviors has arguably had major consequences for a movement that is trying to shift these subtler behaviors from the realm of the historically overlooked to the currently unacceptable. For one, it has left #MeToo open to the (witch-hunt) criticism that bad actors of many different types are being lumped together, with the implication that they should all face the same consequences (to say nothing of the consequent lumping together of the experiences of the victims).

But a path forward, to a clearer vocabulary (and understanding), is possible. Social science research into the kinds of unwanted sexual behaviors that people experience in the workplace has led to the development of some potentially useful ideas and terms — gender hostility, unwanted sexual attention and sexual coercion — that might help put a name to some of the #MeToo-highlighted behaviors. And there’s precedent for this kind of change: Sexual harassment was introduced as a concept and a term only in the past 45 years and is now in common usage.

We have seen this language problem play out several times since the Weinstein articles were published, but perhaps most prominently in the case of Al Franken. He was a Democratic senator from Minnesota at the time that he was accused of groping and forcibly kissing women at photo ops or events — allegations that were frequently described in headlines with the catch-all term “sexual misconduct.” Franken resigned from office, prompting some liberal commentators to argue that he had been treated unfairly by a movement that was failing to draw distinctions between the variety of accusations being leveled against prominent and powerful men and that a ruined career should not be the consequence of every allegation made via #MeToo. Comparisons between the nature of the accusations against Franken and those against other accused men, including Roy Moore, then the GOP Senate candidate from Alabama, were often wielded as evidence in these articles. The first report that Moore had initiated sexual encounters with teenaged girls when he was in his 30s was published a week before the first Franken allegations surfaced.

Ginger Rutland, a former editorial writer at The Sacramento Bee and a self-identified Democrat, wrote in an op-ed in December: “Sen. Al Franken is not Roy Moore. He isn’t even Harvey Weinstein or Matt Lauer. At most, Franken … is guilty of boorish behavior — not assault, not pedophilia, not even sexual harassment. But with today’s fast-changing, contradictory and confusing reversal of sexual norms, he’s being burned at the stake, walked down the plank, buried alive.”

The allegations against Franken surfaced at the height of Moore’s Senate campaign, and partisanship inevitably played a major role in the response to each. Democratic voters and elected officials (eventually) pushed Franken to resign. Many Republicans stood by Moore. But the two cases were consistently discussed as a pair — even if it was in an attempt to explain why they were different. If a more appropriate vocabulary existed to discuss Franken’s behavior, the situation might have played out differently, and maybe allegations against him and Moore could have been in separate categories from the start.

“People like to use ‘sexual misconduct’ as the basket in which they throw things that they don’t think are bad enough to call sexual harassment,” said Louise Fitzgerald, a professor emeritus of psychology and gender and women’s studies whose research interests include sexual violence. “They want to say things like, ‘Al Franken didn’t commit sexual harassment; it was sexual misconduct,’ and what they’re trying to say is that it wasn’t that bad. But nobody really articulates what they mean by “‘bad.’”

We spoke with seven experts in the fields of psychology, law and communications who have studied gender and sexual dynamics, including Fitzgerald, and they generally agreed that the lack of precise language for some of the behaviors being discussed via #MeToo is a problem.

Naomi Mezey, a professor at Georgetown University’s law school and co-director of the Georgetown Gender Justice Initiative, said umbrella terms such as “sexual misconduct” or “inappropriate behavior” that were being used to describe the unwanted sexual behaviors of men were contributing to the backlash against the movement. “Words like ‘sexual misconduct’ mean everything from rape to a bad date,” she said. “People fear that we’re making the most basic interactions illegal.” She said there would be benefits to breaking down those sweeping terms: “We can think more carefully about the ways in which women feel sexually abused and can think more carefully about what kinds of things we want to make impermissible and permissible.”1

Although the media and society at large are struggling to articulate and understand the differences between unwanted sexual behaviors, social scientists have been thinking about these distinctions for decades. Some have proposed categories that are more specific than the umbrella terms of “sexual misconduct” and “sexual harassment.” And these conceptual frameworks could be a starting point for an expansion of the public’s understanding of, and vocabulary for, unwanted sexual behaviors.

One of these systems was developed by Fitzgerald. Between the late 1980s and early 2000s, she and her team created a framework for sexual harassment that distributes 16 behaviors — such as, “told sexual stories or jokes” and “made unwanted attempts to stroke, fondle or kiss” — across three categories:

Gender hostility refers to derogatory comments or actions that invoke sex or gender, rather than explicit requests for sex. There are two types — sexist hostility, which is specific to gender (for example, if someone made a joke about women in a meeting) and sexual hostility, which has a sexual component (for example, if someone asked about a co-worker’s sexual activities).

Unwanted sexual attention includes unwelcome attempts to initiate sexual or romantic relations (for example, when someone repeatedly asks a co-worker out on dates).

Sexual coercion involves many of the same behaviors as the previous category, but with the explicit threat of consequences — such as being refused a promotion — for not cooperating.

Fitzgerald and her team created the list of behaviors, which you can see below, by building on the work of previous scholars and researching women’s experiences. The conceptual categories also correspond to the legal standards for sexual harassment: The first two constitute the legal idea of a “hostile environment,” and the third maps to “quid pro quo” harassment.

There’s value to going beyond the legal categories, Fitzgerald said. “The most important thing in the world is to know what it is exactly you’re talking about, and sexual harassment is so much more than a legal category,” she said. “It’s an experience. We want to know what all aspects of that experience could be.”

Fitzgerald and her team used this framework to build a survey called the Sexual Experiences Questionnaire, which asks respondents whether they’ve experienced the specific behaviors. Versions of this survey have been applied to a variety of organizations since then, including colleges and the military, to understand the prevalence and types of harassing behaviors that occur within organizations. Over decades of the survey’s use, Fitzgerald has found that the conceptual categories remain relevant: “The categories cover the universe,” she said.

Any attempt to quantify human behavior has shortcomings, of course. Fitzgerald acknowledges that there are challenges:

Whether something is offensive or unwelcome depends on the perspective of the person who is experiencing it, she said. Inviting a colleague to dinner, for example, could be seen as an attempt to have sex or to do some innocuous professional networking.

This kind of framework can’t be used to determine whether some behaviors are inherently worse than others.

The 16 behaviors that the framework and survey depend on have not been updated recently. That means that any new kinds of unwanted behavior — for example, something like sexting that is the result of technological innovation — hasn’t been taken into account.

Expanding the public’s understanding of behaviors of a sexual nature that may be violating and how we talk about them might seem like a far-off goal. But it’s been done before, with the help of activists and scholars, who played a key role in the development and promotion of the term “sexual harassment” in the 1970s.

“This is an area where academics have been especially helpful in moving the law forward,” said Gillian Thomas, a senior staff attorney for the American Civil Liberties Union Women’s Rights Project.

There have long been terms to describe the most violent sexual behavior, like “rape” and “sexual assault.”2 But starting in the 1970s, the concept of sexual harassment was introduced to refer to other behaviors that people find uncomfortable and harmful, particularly in work and organizational settings. A group of women who were working at Cornell University first used the term to describe unwanted sexual advances at work, and coverage of their activism helped get that phrase into headlines. Around the same time, a book by legal scholar Catharine MacKinnon defined the two types of behavior that eventually became the foundation of the legal notions of sexual harassment: “quid pro quo” and “hostile environment” harassment. And her work was key to the establishment of sexual harassment in the workplace as sex-based discrimination under the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Today, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission enforces federal anti-discrimination laws in the workplace. Unlawful sexual harassment includes “unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature” as well as “offensive remarks about a person’s sex,” according to the agency’s website. But there are limits: The agency also notes that the law doesn’t “prohibit simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that are not very serious” and that harassment is only illegal when it is recurrent or severe.

But as #MeToo has shown us, the understanding of what constitutes unwanted sexual behavior — and how to talk about it — continues to evolve. Tools for moving the conversation forward exist. Will one part of the movement’s legacy be to push society to find the right words to describe it all?

#IFTTT #Politics – FiveThirtyEight #politics #538 #Kathryn Casteel and Andrea Jones-Rooy

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