#comfort game when i was younger
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BURGER SHOP 3 EXISTS?? ITS ON EARLY ACCESS ON STEAM?? IT GOT AN UPDATE LAST WEEK??????????
#HWTA#I need to get this shit right the fuck NOW#im buying this tomorrow for sure idgaf#comfort game when i was younger#nik speaks
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So fun fact about me and the another series; I found out about it back in 2018 just one or two weeks before Ch3 came out and spend the next 3 or 4 years being hooked onto the game until the fixation died down and only returned to me around August or September of lasy year.
Meaning that through 2/3s of Sdra2 i was able to see the chapters as they were coming out and that's honestly something i wish more people in the current fandom could have experienced because it was so fun seeing the hype around a chapter that's soon to come out spike up with all kinds of theories, predictions and people hoping their favorites won't die (i remember i even had a dream once where chapter 5 released and Teruya murdered Iroha by tying her into a train track and waiting for it to run over her after she came to him and told him about being a void and he was like, trying to get rid of all remaining void by killing Iroha himself and wining the class trial, which would in kill Mikado too. Wild shit, but it's a dream you know?). And of course, whenever a new chapter did release the entire fandom would collectively freak out for the entire day as random instagram accs posted Cgs and bits of roughly translated information through the day alongside the deaths and executions and this hype around the newest chapter would sprout all kinds of art, edits and more theories for the following month or two.
All around awesome experience? Not exactly. Because this also means i got to see Linuj's crazy plot twist as they were being revealed and here's where we get to the actual subject of this long ramble/rant; Kokoro Mitsume and how i really wish i could have spoiled myself of what happens in Ch0 because that would have spared me of so much pain.
And let me tell you, when i say pain, i am by no means exaggerating. You people have no idea how much i cried when Ch0 came out. My little 15 year old head was going through the 5 stages of grief over that plot twist, that shit didn't even feel real to me until one or two days after its release.
One thing you gotta know about me is that before i became the Ayame person™ Kokoro was my absolute favorite character of the another series, and if you know me for even just a little while then you know how insanely attached i am to her despite being a minor character who dies 1/3 of the way through the game.
Like, y'all don't understand, i was so happy when i saw that one Cg of her and Mikado in my timeline, so genuinely ecstatic to see more of her after i thought her character done with since the events of Ch2. Can you magine how i felt after watching the character i adored so so much turn out to be a vile human being? I was genuinely so distraught man, i spent a good while being one of those people that ignored everything about the characters irl selves because that twist hurt me so damn much, but even then i was never able to look at that character the same way again, even now she just makes me feel bad.
And it's s not that i think Kokoro is the worst person to have ever existed, i like antagonist/villain characters who've done much worse than her, hell, I don't even think her character was absolutely ruined or anything. When i think about Mitsume nowadays i genuinely find her an interesting case of a good person with big plans who lacked a proper support system or even friends which led her down a path where she became cold and cruel without a semblance of care for her own family so long as she could work on her project, and seeing the difference between the Kokoro we see as a teen and her adult self just makes all of this even more heartbreaking. I still like her, is just that having my perception of this character be completely shattered when Ch0 came out permanently affected how i view her and as much as i still enjoy her character even now I can't help but simultaneously hate her for how she made me feel ❤️
#i hate how emotional the another games make me feel about their characters#i never got this kinda emotional response over anyone in the canon dr games#anyways. you know one thing i realized as i was writing this mess of a post?#i think i subconsciously wrote the dynamic between Beni and Akira similar to how i pictured the one between Kokoro and Emma#when i was younger. like. tall long haired girl that's outgoing and silly#and her tiny short haired neurodivergent gf that looks serious most of the time#because as a kid i really liked Mitsurobi and that's another thing Ch0 violently ripped out of my hands#nowadays they're a full No for me because even if you ignore how weird it would be for Emma. someone who was abused by a parent as a child.#to date someone who abused her child. the age gap between them is just way too big for me to feel comfortable with the idea of them togethe#like i think Kokoro is old enough to be Emma's mom? seeing as the voids are around the same age as the Dra cast#I can't enjoy it anymore but i guess i miss it since i wrote a similar dynamic with my ocs without even realizing#obviously Akira and Beni aren't exact carbon copies or Emma and Kokoro but y'all get what i mean#how fun#hyena ramblings#sdra2#kokoro mitsume#super danganronpa another 2
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#single's inferno#tehwan is so fucking awkward like he's just standing there and I can feel the awkwardness through the screen it's like he's just so uncomf💀#aah poor minseol she's so cute🤣 youjin is so cute too#finally jeongsu is showing a side I'm actually liking with youjin lol I wasn't expecting this#also didn't expect to like junseo and sian so much agh but what about theo#I don't think dongho likes haelin he definitely likes arin#never thought I'd feel bad for jeonsu but his face after he saw sian leaning on junseo wow made me feel sad also why did sian come in first#minseollllllll my girl I was cheering for you lmao😭#also I was sure junseo only saw minseol as a younger sister but after he said she was on his mind during paradise and was shouting tips at#her during the game I'm like? maybe not? probably yes but maybe not? lol#I was right ofc junseo doesn't like minseol aaaaah poor girl and aaah whoaa I can't believe sian turned theo down#he's also sweet and kind why didn't she go for him instead of jeongsu😩#anyway if it's between junseo and jeongsu than I reaaaaaaaaaaaally hope it's junseo bc jeongsu and sian were so boring together#or maybe she will still choose theo in the end? lmao I don't think so but you never know#between theo and junseo I'm thorn between junseo and jeongsu JUNSEO PLEASE OH GOSH PLEASE#even if junseo just saw minseol as a cute younger friend I still liked their friendship#ah seriously you can't make men feel comfortable and be friendly cause they take you for granted#you have to make them feel NERVOUS taylor swift is a psyho but maybe she was right when she said men only want love if it's torture🤣#I'm joking..... partially..... sian still probably made him a little nervous and I think ppl are a little too extreme about junseo#he's rough but he even said he's gonna try to be more gentle to sian and he didn't give minseol fake hopes he was very straightforward#but still nice#now that it's just two episodes till the end I think there was no couple or contestant that I was super into this season#in season two I loved seulki and dex so much and season three there was hajeong and gwanhee even tho I hated gwanhee sometimes#season 1 I liked jia and her puppy (forgot his name lmao) but it wasn't that special same with theo and minseol#so theory going around is that taehwan only went on the show to promote his job... and honestly I know a lot of ppl probably do this but at#at least they fake well? lmao that's why he is so weird and was so desperate to go to paradise with jiyeon bc he HAD TO TALK ABOUT HIS JOB#also he couldn't connect with anyone and was acting like a mf robot#I love that everyone was enjoying him oh he's such a green flag but I was right about him all along dude seriously creeps me out Idk why bu#I have a sixth sense for these things
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it’s cool that you can go back to video games you played as a kid and it’s a totally different experience to playing something new. because the guys in your video game were also there when you were way smaller. commander shepard had my back when i was little and she’s still there now? she is so cool.
#im not religious so i dont get guardian angels in that sense#but i think if there is any version of them. it’s video game characters who you imprinted on as a baby and are still cool and in your game#when you’re older.#this is true of movies and books too but video games are a more personal experience. to me at least.#so. it’s like a comforting thought you know? like. hey. you’re still in there. i needed you a long time ago and i might need you again.#i’m 22 and commander shepard is still in my computer#you don’t get to form that kind of bond with characters *after* you grow up is the trick. you get who you got as a kid and that’s it#which either works out really well or really poorly for you lmao#but anyway. there’s a version of me in some universe that got really assassin’s creed when they were younger. after playing ac4#instead of giving it up and moving on to something else#and i think that version of me would’ve latched onto ezio like a duckling so fucking fast its not even funny.#and i’d have a totally different perception of the character than i do only having played ac2 as an adult. that’s not a good or bad thing.#just an observation. it does make me a little wistful to think it’s experience i won’t and can’t have. but it’s also not one i lost really.#i have other games that stood in that place. it’s good.#………but i do think little me would have benefitted. if they’d had that. i guess i can’t know now.#but well. commander shepard is still in my computer. so everything’s alright.
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hi my sweet sel :3 i’m sneaking in w a fresh matcha for u to ask for a moot bingo card 🍵… i’m 2 curious i couldn’t resist </3
ari my beloved!!!! thank you for the matcha 🥺 i am sip sippin it while doing your bingo card (my feet are also kicking in the air behind me 🤭) pls sit with me, i am offering you a cookie!! 🍪
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(c) xen-blank for the template!
send me an ask and i’ll fill up this bingo for you!! 🥺
#when i say lots of shared interests i rlly mean lots of shared thoughts 🥺🥺 i feel like u just Get what i mean Yk????#i think we understand characters so similarly snd it is so satisfying!! and also comforting to have someone just knows what i mean 🥺#i am chomping ur head because it is simply TOO BIG. full of ALL THAT PROSE AND TALENT.#and younger sibbie vibes bc i do feel like i am always aww-ing at you whenever i see your interactions on my dash!!#esp when you receive all the love you deserve 🥺🥺#i feel like we became moots when you had only a few works up and to see how much your library has grown!!! 🥺🥺#i feel the proud big sis moment a lot 🥺🥺#and pls keep sharing w me ur thoughts and rants and characterisations and aus and hc and EVERYTHINF! 🥹#we r mutual chaos bc we share the same braincells sometimes i think… same w the bouncing of the walls pic… those r our braincells when#-our ideas align#shaking you violently bc i am so in awe at how much you write#REALLY SO AWESTRUCK. u r amazing. i still have so much of ur stuff to read!!!!#ari.🦝#twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat#ask#rep#ask game
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so glad that the saga entered public beta this week cuz that means i have a lot of time next week to play it :333 im gonna draw my wolfquest main i think . i havent been feeling like drawing in general lately but dusk is prob one of my oldest ocs i still use and i have so much silly art of them but none are recent ... maybe i will post the shitposts sometime . so hyped
#i named them directly here just on the small chance anyone seeing this knew me on 2.7#used to be quite active on there when i was younger. havent been active much on ae's multiplayer though i find it kinda irritating#wolfquest is a comfort game for me i just never get to play it
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For my AU, Holmes isn't addicted to drugs (for reasons I will elaborate on in the tags if anyone demands an explanation) HOWEVER instead, to make up for this, he's addicted to caffeine
This has lead me to imagining him absolutely slamming a heavy energy drink and turning to Da Vinci to sprout his usual nonsense. Da Vinci isn't even phased (all artists has been in a moment in their lives that they've done the same lmao)
#Okay so elaboration (tw for personal trauma ig)#My mom was heavily addicted to drugs when I was younger which led to me and my siblings being heavily neglected#She's been sober for a couple years now And I'm VERY proud of her#However I personally get uncomfortable with the idea of writing an addict for an AU that was specifically made as#Something I can escape into for comfort (hence why it's called the “For Funsies” AU)#Adding on that ig I still angst myself about my youth and I don't want to accidentally trigger myself#I apologize if this makes me seem very dry and unfun. Ig I also worry about myself in terms of addiction#Although I think the in-game canon jokes are funny. I personally just can't get myself to joke about it#So caffeine addiction instead! :D#I also worry about drug addiction a lot because of kinda my whole family being drug addicts at some point#SO ANYWAY#Enough about all that random nonsense of My Trauma! Let's get back to the happy For Funsies stuff#fgo#forfunsiesau#alternate universe#fate grand order#fate go#fgo fate grand order#fgo sherlock holmes#fgo headcanons#headcanon#headcannons#I like to imagine Utterson watching Holmes chug an energy drink and personally having a heart attack
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happy 1yr anniversary to when the illness festered. i had no idea what i was getting myself into. To think it has been 1 year and im still this fucked up from it. love you wonder game
#i had been on a little switch story binge#i had read element and pleiades bc i saw ppl recommending them#but i had no idea that wonder game was significant at ALL#but i am the BIGGEST sucker for alice in wonderland. the 1951 animated movie was my favorite movie ever#and i would watch it CONSTANTLY when i was a kid#my earliest memories consisting of me just knowing how much i loved this film#and well anyway i remembered natsume had an alice card so i was like omg! i really should read that!!#and to get myself in the mood i even rewatched the 1951 film because i thought itd be a fun little refresher before i began reading#I DID NOT. EXPECT THE STORY TO MAKE ME CRY#AND I DID NOT EXPECT THE STORY TO MAKE ME A NATSUMUGIER#THIS STORY CAUSED IT ALL. IT RUINED ME. ALL BECAUSE I WANTED TO READ A SILLY LITTLE STORY WITH ELEMENTS BASED OFF#MY FIRST EVER SPECIAL INTEREST. ABSOLUTELY SICKENING#HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY BABE IM FUCKING RUINED FOREVER#nat rambles#i dont think u guys realize how deep my love for switch goes#bc like everything about them is a reminder of everything ive ever loved and found comfort in throughout my life#especially my younger years#they really do just bring me such unbelievable amounts of joy i almost feel undeserving to have something resonate this deeply with me#because thats how deep it goes#BUT ANYWAY#i cant show vulnerability online. Pretend i didnt say anything.#cant have people find out im a real person with real feelings with unique experiences in life that shaped the person you see before u today
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I never have watched an episode of A//OT, or know… anything about it?? But like, I have heard it be called “fascist propaganda”?? Is there an actual reason why??
#idk I think it’s a stretch to call something an anime that… especially when there’s so much dark media out there that people fully accept.#same person said the d//gr cast were minors though while apparently knowing the series… babes they are all confirmed adults idk what to -#-say.#my man called himself an adult in the first game bruv. even with his two years of missing memories (though this may be slightly-#- precarious.) but all survivors are comfortably in their 20s by D//R3#bro I don’t ship with people younger than me it feels weird 💀💀
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I like to think that if my tumblr pals came to my house, they’d have a good time
#random post#I don’t mean that as in ‘yea woo let’s party and get fucked up’ like no lol#I just mean. our house is a place where people get along#there’s no expectations here. wanna sit and talk? we can hang out and talk about whatever#wanna play a game? chances are a few other people do to#need to get away for a bit and maybe take a nap? we’ve got plenty of beds take your pick. we’ll make sure no one bothers you#hungry or thirsty? help yourself don’t be shy. we can always get more#like we had ppl over on Saturday and it was so FUN like ppl would talk all together and then different conversations would split off of that#we would go outside then back in. we had food and some ppl had alcohol#we were laughing SO hard about funny shit (like discovering that my sisters bf worked on the gas meter at grandpas but didn’t SAY ANYTHING#ABOUT IT LMFAO) my cousin brought his gf to meet everyone and she just fit in perfectly and so obviously had an obsession for animals#her and my sister were like sudden bffs it was hilarious. my brother and younger cousin ate at 2:40 and slept upstairs till 6:00#and all we did was turn of the light and put on a fan for em lol. crack up at how comfortable they were#me and my lil sister were walking up and down the driveway talking and looking at the stars. the nap duo were pointing out constellations#when most everyone left it was my household and my sister and her bf. she played uno flip and incoherent with me (usually no one does lol)#and we laughed very hard at all of the adult cards. one of the hints she gave for sidechicks was ‘sad used to have a lot of these’ and#I immediately got it. it was fun. we blasted music from the 2000’s and ate bread#I slept for 11 hours that night lmao and I was tired the next day but I wouldn’t have changed it. I like them lots#it’s days like that that make me think I’m more extroverted than introverted. just because I don’t always know what to say doesn’t mean#I don’t like to talk yn? anyways I’m writing a novel in the tags but I don’t care <3 I just love us and I wish#other people were able to have love and fun times often#I hope this doesn’t sound like me bragging about my home life. trust me I know it’s not some shining light in the darkness or whatever#but it’s something. and I don’t mind sharing my love with other people
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TAG GAME: TOP TEN COMFORT FILMS
I was tagged by @wyleriseverything, @gardenoblues and @chinita-inzunza. Thank you so much.
I really had to think about this list, gosh.
Pride and Prejudice (any of them? Or any Jane Austen really)
Addams Family Values (1993)
Addams Family (1991)
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Hot Fuzz (2007)
Almost any episode of Star Trek up until 2005 (I know, not films technically, but you can pry Star Trek out of my cold dead hands. Alternatively any episode of The Orville, or the Galaxy Quest movie)
Ex Machina (2014)
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)
The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977)
Shrek (2001)
Is this the definitive list? Nope. I haven't even thought about this question up until now. The order is meaningless as well.
Okay, tagging (sorry, if you've already created your list) @penelopwgarcia, @broken-everlark, @diamantdog, @fandom-geek17, @cosmic-lullaby, @therulerofallpotatos, @lefayrealm, @eviltothecore13, @certaindreamchopshop, and anyone interested.
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btw i decided to restart my undertale replay bc i wanted to play through in japanese (both the practice and out of curiosity) and. i gotta say the way they handled the fonts for sans and papyrus was not what i was expecting
#undertale#i don't know what i was expecting tbh#just. not that i guess?#i like it but it's a tad disorienting#and sometimes sans' dialogue is a bit hard to read#it's also somewhat jarring to me to have sans clearly being the older brother#my hc is he's actually the younger one#but it's kinda adorable regardless#also i really like how the japanese version has been using kanji so far#it feels very easy to subscribe to the ''chara does the flavor text'' hc imo#it would also make frisk seem young enough to struggle with kanji#but anything they hear or might be being read to them is in almost entirely in kana which is neat#although this theory would mean that chara refused to read them the signs in the colored switches puzzle....#also playing through while actively thinking about what the characters are saying is. interesting#like y'know how towards the end of the true pacifism route toriel scolds asgore for his inaction?#i just realized she does the same damn thing. she could've destroyed the exit to the ruins before frisk caught up to her#or before they even found the house or before they even fell into the underground at all#it's interesting#also now that i'm reading in a language i'm not as comfortable with. i've noticed...#it's REALLY frustrating when the game dialogue doesn't wait for you to finish reading it#like i do get it but yeesh
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WE'RE MAKING IT OUT OF THE RED SEA WITH THIS ONE 🔥🔥🔥🔥
#wadanohara and the great blue sea#been thinking a lot about this game lately#it's incredibly dark and such but i saw it when i was younger#and now im obsessed with the sea and stars thanks to this game#it traumatized me? yes#but i still love this song actually it was a comfort song#maxposteo
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rinoa n squall i love them so much they're the cutest 🥺
#🌙.rambles#[ ffviii. ]#i was working for. a few minutes then i got distracted oops >.>#THEY'RE SO CUTE#i rlly have to play ffviii. Soon. hopefully#the way rinoa teases squall . they're so cute#yk the kinda like. thoughts stuff they do in dialogue#they did that too for ffxiv with eden w gaia iirc.#i. relate a lot w both rinoa n squall help#randomly thinking abt them bcs i can't even rmb how but i came across a video n both of them were in it for a bit#OH i was watching smth abt. video game music hdakflsdjf head empty just video games n music 😭😭#n squall smiling at rinoa. that was so sweet#i love final fantasy so much i went to my notes rq n i have some of their quotes written down there#n i scrolled a bit n i saw zack too >< i really. want to play. ccr when i can.#hmmm. i want to do a lot rn but i also just. want to sleep T_T but i have stuff to do for tmrrw#when you're. a kid. way younger. it's like you have all the time in the world#those days seem so long ago n it hurts sometimes thinking of. how we can't really ever return to them#but#🥹 idk reading the dialogue between rinoa n squall comforts me so much#i see so much of myself in both of them. esp rinoa i think when i'm not sad myself#DAMN THOUGH BRO 'You smiled when our eyes met. It made me feel calm / tranquil. Rinoa....'#their dialogue is so wholesome it just makes me happy#final fantasy is. rlly just a big comfort to me. it's been there ever since i was a kid yk?#from the ones i don't have though. i really really want to play ffviii. excluding ffxiv.. rinoa's my fav from the girls#actually. even including ffxiv. rinoa & zero & gaia & ysayle r all on the same level for me#'We'll be waiting. Like I said / who knows what's gonna happen in the future... but I have a feeling we'll be together for a while.'#RINOA ^^ n then at the end w the future stuff n staying tgther squall going 'those were your words' THEY'RE SO DEAR TO ME#sorry i cope with fiction i don't want to think too much uwahfdkhfsklfjk i'm so sleepy
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Attention, (older) Bros (CoughStridersCough) of Tumblr who also use Reddit:
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#ive found my people#also feeling kinda called out bc this was my whole middle school vibe and i had trouble reconciling it with being a girl at the time#the guys in school would always be surprised that i was one of them irt to like music and edgy shit#i really wish i realized i trans earlier lmao wouldve made me a lot less awkward feeling like an imposter girl 24/7#also lmao @ being an older half brother. my younger bro was not playing around when we did 'bloody knuckles' (but neither was i)#but yeah lmao called the fuck out. i did a school assignment on lyrics analysis on 'freak on a leash' in like 7th or 8th grade#i had the coolest DC shoes i had to wear in a bigger size bc the store didnt have my size but i wore them tf out#(mostly etnies tho) and i still buy skate shoes bc theyre comfortable lmao i cant skate for shit we dont have paved areas here#(i mean the street but its too busy and full of gravel)#also tbh my friends that were girls were also into all of this too. the 'im not like most girls' crew lol#things i didnt see included: electric guitar (think of like trent in daria) or other instruments. leather cuff bracelets...#...video game leaderboard initials (idk how that would be depicted tho lol). snapback/baseball hats.#oh wait i see a guitar head in the bg on one pic but yeah. the jackass crew. heartagrams. all of that lol#and lmao ' 'cody' ' ppl have misheard my name as cody before and i was like 'oh. damn it i shouldve picked that instead of cori' lol#anyway#older brother core#had no idea that was a thing until just now#Cori.exe#Post.exe#Image.exe#(i dont really like reddit tbh but its cool to scroll thru when i need something mindless to look at once in a while)
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big sister - hyun ju
summary; a big sister will always protect, but when will she be able to relax?
genre/extra tags; one shot, found family, fluff, hurt/comfort?, canon typical violence, i dont like the second season writing, but i can not deny myself this diva, that's mother !!, teen! reader, hyun ju is the only reason i decided to watch this season, slight canon divergence bc i have the mind of a goldfish, canon typical sad heavy conversations, big sister is written to be seen as the korean honorific "unnie", older sister moments written in the point of view of a younger sibling, unintentional love letter for my appreciation to my sister, reader is implied to be some form of lgbt but not out (im projecting)
[platonic] [gender-neutral reader]
[warning; mentions of transphobic ideas]
a/n; before people ask, no, im not doing requests for this show. i just don't feel fully comfortable writing for squid game. i just really wanted to write this because, believe it or not, i write for my enjoyment. even i do switch off here every few months or every other month.
dinner had rolled around after an intense "game" of life or death. how you managed to survive this long is beyond you. but you might have a strong idea of why you're living so long, and it was the strong woman who was sitting beside you with some of the other women who were surviving so far.
the old lady had pointed out that hyun ju was not like other people. and it really was odd to her. but hyun ju was used to that. more than used to it. she lived through it since she decided to come out.
you listen to the conversation, not really putting your two cents in as it seemed like there was no right time to butt in. but as the conversation continued, the mood was just a little lighter. and that was more than enough morale. the old lady seemed to slowly understand hyun ju and her struggle.
you've zoned out so much, you almost fail to notice hyun ju sneaking an egg onto your shabby given lunch box meal. you look up at her as she gives you a warm look before pretending that she didn't just do that.
you mix the rice with not much thought, spilling some bits of rice and egg over its metal container before you slowly eat. unbeknownst to you, hyun ju glances back at you as if to make sure you're actually eating and not staring off with a tired look that no teen or child should have. you've seen everything, you're part of this sick game, she may not know your story, but she knows you don't deserve any of the bad you've been through.
you're the youngest in the entire room, a room filled with people with insurmountable debt and issues. hyun ju can only imagine your worry, your anxiety, the burden.
when the first game got serious, you were trying your damned hardest to keep your fear contained under the watchful eye of that robot scanning every movement. she was right in front of you, keeping you safe along with the rest of the people who lined up with her. you look like you wanted to cry the moment you got to the finish line. if she wasn't full of adrenaline at the time, she probably would've heard how hard your heart was beating.
somehow, she had taken two people under her care. you and young-mi. how could she not care about a young woman like young-mi and a teen like yourself? two anxious people forced to live a life full of debt and pain when you both deserved nothing but comfort and love.
people start lining up in their beds for nighttime. gi-hun was very insistent on being careful at night. it was dangerous. some people were not behind just killing others at night to sweeten the pot of money that loomed over everyone's head like a golden sun.
as most of the adults started to climb in their beds, you stand awkwardly. you weren't a stranger to sleeping a room full of people, but you were definitely a little paranoid after what gi-hun was talking about.
you find yourself naturally gravitating to hyun ju. her presence was just so calming, and she was so caring for others. it was hard not to get attached. young-mi had taken to calling her big sister. and you found yourself doing the same when you call out to her softly.
"big sister?" you gently tap at her arm as she turns to look at you. she silently urges you to continue speaking with a gentle look. you can see the tired in her eyes, but she looks at you, unwilling to say no. "this is embarrassing..." you mutter.
"it's okay. i'm here." she reassures you.
"can i stay with you tonight? i'm-" you choke a little bit on your words, not only out of embarrassment but fear. "i'm really scared. i don't wanna be alone." you confess.
she softens, "i would love to let you, but it's too risky. if people come for us, it would be very hard to fight back. i'm so sorry, kid." she opens her arm out for a hug, and you take the comfort you can get in this shitty place. "i will do my best to keep you safe, alright? when we get out of here, i'm going to find you again, and we can help each other, yeah? i'll protect you."
you nodded with her words, not finding the heart to say anything. she takes this as a sign to start guiding you into your bunk bed on top. at least the top bunks would be somewhat safer for you. you hesitantly climb into bed. "if a fight breaks out, hide. run. just be safe. i will find you, and you'll be safe." she continues to reassure you the best she can.
"okay. goodnight big sister." you whispered. "please be safe."
"i will." she said with a calm confidence that only she could pull off that didn't make you feel worried for her.
you hope that you get out of here, so you don't have to see the worried exhaustion in her eyes anymore.
she was a big sister by heart and soul. you just hoped her big heart wouldn't lead her to her doom. she protects and gives, but when will she relax?
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