#colors were chosen very purposefully...

[fayewoodss]

Finished Scenenap commission!!

(click for better quality)

This was a commission for my friend who has a Scene!Sapnap au and they gave me so much creative control with this piece! This is probably the most fun I've had on a commission and I'm so so so happy to share it!

[gravity-what]

I…look, I know this is supposed to be for OCs okay? But I was doing my Chinese practice so here we are…

(My practice was just colors and animals so there is a good chance that the other stuff on here is wrong, but I did my best. 😵‍💫)

Anyway, all of these are very specifically for the trio while they were together/before Chase’s betrayal. Including the songs which I put way too much research into. Hadn’t had the reason until now to read ancient Chinese poetry…

Translations and heavy details (fair warning, it’s a lot) under the cut:

Dashi

風/风龙 = Wind Dragon/Dragon of wind. Although there is a reason it’s so heavily obscured/faded.

大熹 = Dashi. Original named ‘大师’ (literally ‘Grand Master’) but he purposefully changed it upon joining the whole Dragon mess because he didn’t like the implication of his name and what it seemed to insist upon him. Instead he chose to replace 师 (shī) for 熹 (xī) meaning warm/bright. Dashi has no sir name per Zhang Zhung tradition.

银色 = silver (color). [all of the OG trio is represented by a precious metal in my stuff] in this case represented by Tibetan prayer wheels which are originally driven by wind. For Dashi in particular I tend to go with the Tibetan/buddhist symbolism of things so silver represents purity, protection, and ability to dispel negativity.

茉莉 = Jasmine. While in Chinese culture it represents long-lived love and loyalty, in Buddhism is actually is seen as a symbol of compassion, empathy, and showing kindness to all living beings in this world along with purity of intentions.

猪 = pig. While typically the pig represents abundance and happiness, and symbolizes honesty and generosity, in Buddhism it is also a symbol of ignorance and one of the three ‘poisons’ that cause suffering.

毽子 = Jianzi shuttlecock! Essentially a toy and one of Dashi’s favorite games to play (in my mind). Representing his playfulness and one of his main means of connecting to someone.

陌上来 = a yuefu poem called ‘Mulberry on the Path’ about a beautiful woman who gets hit on while on her way home from collecting Mulberry leaves for her silk worms. My choice of this particular piece for Dashi comes from a very specific analysis of the poem which says: “This poem depicts the image of a beautiful, chaste and intelligent mulberry-picking woman in a humorous style and comedic artistic technique as she turns down a man’s advances.” which I think Dashi would appreciate.

空 = Empty. It can also mean leisure or free time. This one’s a little complex because, while I chose 空 here, that actually isn’t considered a negative emotion. I chose it both for the initial western interpretation that comes with the concept of feeling ‘empty’ but also the deeper Buddhist/taoist interpretation of a ‘feeling between breaths’. A state of potential, openness, and the ability to receive new experience.

Guan

山龙 = Mountain Dragon (there are headcanons that go with this label but the gist of it is that the title of ‘Dragon of Earth’ didn’t actually solidify until later into 土龙 and part of that transition was Guan purposeful distancing himself from being a Xiaolin Dragon and pushing that title change so, if any scroll did magically show up with 山龙 next to his name the first association wouldn’t be to the Xiaolin Dragons.)

蕭關 = Xiao Guan. Xiao = sir name connected to the Xiao clan of Lanling with direct connections to the Southern Qi dynasty. 關 is a direct reference to Guan Yu a Chinese military general from 200 ce whose achievements were glorified to such an extent after his death that he was deified. Guan’s father named him 關 after him in hopes of him receiving as much renowned.

金色 = gold (color). While gold means a lot of good things (power, wealth, longevity, and happiness) I have specificity chosen to represent the color using the 馬蹄金 “Horse Hoof Gold” which I’m also using as a symbol of Guan’s Xianbei heritage and the cultural connection he is slowly re-affirming now that he is out of the more direct force of his fathers pressing demands.

寸寸金 = inch of gold. Meaning: Attracting wealth, rolling in wealth, great prosperity. It’s a plant mostly given during new years as a hope for these things in the coming year.

鹿 = Deer. wealth and longevity. But also white deer in particular are associated with immortality since it is believed that white fur is a sign an animals has achieved immortality. In deer specifically they are thought to live for 1000 years and to turn fully white at 500. For those who have read my Dashi era stuff you will probably recognize the additional connection to the 1000 year journey that represents the link between Chase and Guan’s friendship and ambitions.

關刀 = Guandao. While the first ever Guandao was made by General Guan Yu in 220-280 ce, Guan’s own version and modification of this famous weapon is already quickly changing it from a simple ‘Guandao’ to “the Spear of Guan”. it’s not quite there yet, but one day he is certain it will be just as famous as the Green Dragon Crescent Blade (青龍偃月刀).

木蘭辭 = The Ballad of Mulan, because Guan is a fanboy through and through.

无可奈何 = direct translation is ‘helpless’ but, from what I found online, it’s more specifically “feeling powerless or helpless in the face of certain situations, with no way to resolve them, leaving one with no choice but to accept them reluctantly.” Which, with his family situation…ya.

Chase

水龙 = Water Dragon aka: Dragon of Water

勇追 = Chase Young (Direct translation = Yǒng Zhuī, although Chase definitely still introduces himself as Zhuī Yǒng to be contrary. Also, post betrayal, he starts to use 永 (Perpetual/eternal) instead of 勇 (bravery) which are homophones of each other so, you know, still Yǒng Zhuī)

铜色 = copper (color). [If you have read chapter 2 of ‘gathering the dragons’ this is probably obvious]. However while Chase’s own interactions with the color are negative, copper does represent longevity due to how durable of a metal it is. Add that to the beautiful blue that is also becomes when exposed to water and oxidation and, well. Ya.

梅花 = plum blossoms. Meaning: resilience, perseverance, and hope. Furthermore, the five petals represent the five blessings (五福): long life, wealth, health, virtue, and a peaceful death. While not all specific to Chase, the number 5 is an important number associated with his and Guan’s relationship in my stories.

猫 = cat. Symbol of good fortune and used for pest control. While I mostly chose the cat because of its association with 9 lives (9 being an important number in Chase’s story) I also chose it because of just how much work went into adopting a cat in ancient China which…I liked they symbolism for for obvious (Omi related) reasons 😆.

手卷 = handscroll. (What can I say? In my mind he is a nerd who likes his scrolls. Side note: not sure about this particular translation at all since handscrolls seem to specifically refer to art scrolls and might not apply to historical/martial arts scrolls that I’m specifically trying to refer to here 🤷)

四坐且莫誼 = Let the Four Seats Be Quiet and Not Noisy. A Yuefu poem whose first line is 四坐且莫喧，愿听歌一言。which, supposedly, translates to: Please don't make any noise, I'd like to hear a song. Which mostly just makes me imagine Chase using it as a way to tell people to ‘shut up already and let me listen to the song already’. (Look, out of the trio Chase was the hardest to find a time-period appropriate poem for…which I still might have gotten wrong 🫠)

骄傲自大 = cocky/conceded/arrogant (negative). For…obvious reasons (tbh I love this character trait of his so, you know.)

[mammons-hubby]

Hiiii :3 can I request platonic headcanons of the brothers with MC who is a child/preteen? You pick which age you're more confident writing, but like in this 8-12 yrs range if possible, thank youuu🩷

I wasn't sure if to make the Mc be cursed or the Mc being chosen for the program while still being a child. I chose the later, hope you enjoy!

The little Mc! :

When the one stepping out of the portal was a 10 year old, he almost passed out.

Lucifer

This wasn't in the papers, at ALL. There is just no way this could've possibly happen, maybe a child stepped into the portal by accident?

But no, once the kid was questioned it was obvious they were the exchange student they were expecting.

Internal panic.

This kid can't go to the basically highschool for demons, and there are no schools in the Devildom.

He has a really stern talk with the brothers so they behave in front of them.

Depending on your behavior he may start to get more grey hairs or take a big liking to you.

In the end he ends up really attached to you.

Pampers you, and denies he does it.

"What?! I gotta take care of a kid?!"

Mammon

New babysitter for Mc. He at first dislikes it a ton, but he has a soft spot for kids so he doesn't take it on you, but you notice he is kinda mad.

Very overprotective. Not at first but with just a couple of days he really starts to like you and can't leave your side.

Will bother you to get a reaction, if you start crying he may even give you some Grimm.

Teaches you how to gamble and gets strung to the ceiling.

Gives you piggybacks.

He may involve you in money schemes at first but never putting you in any actual real harm.

Great. A little kid with sticky fingers.

Leviathan

He doesn't want you anywhere near his room at first, afraid that you will break his precious figurines or destroy his Manga collection.

He still forces you to watch Anime, but in the living room with him. Once you get a liking to it he even dresses you up as his favorite characters.

Once he realizes you won't purposefully break anything of his, he invites you to his room.

You are mesmerized by the pretty lights, the bathtub and the giant aquarium, you say hi to Henry and he melts.

He sees you looking everywhere with awe, and he feels very proud of himself.

From then, you start to play games in his room and carefully read his Mangas.

Lets you play with his tail in his demon form. He finds it kinda funny but gets grossed out when you put it in your mouth and cover it up with saliva. Eugh.

He is kind of curious about you and how you ended up in the Devildom, for Lucifer to make such an oversight is clearly extremely bizarre, almost imposible.

Satan

You kinda look at him with your big baby eyes and he looks back at you, until one of you stops staring and go back to their normal routine.

He is chosen by Lucifer to be your personal teacher. He complains but knows he has to do it.

He will try and teach you things to bother Lucifer, succeeding in some and failing in others.

But he also takes a lot of effort to learn about human culture and teach you the right things and needed things for your mental development.

Will read for you to fall asleep. Devildom fairy stories and others, you seem to like grim stuff too but he reads this stuff to you very rarely. Doesn't want you to be negatively affected.

Buys you a cat onesie and takes lots of pics. Super adorable.

He finds you extremely adorable and amusing, like a little pet.

Asmodeous

He will dress you up in the prettiests of clothings, with the most expensive perfume and hair decorations.

You seem upset and he doesn't understand at first. You explain you don't like being treated like a doll for his amusement.

He thought he was doing everything right?

He thinks about it hard and realizes that maybe being treated like a thing rather than a person must've hurt you.

He apologizes to you and offers to take you to eat something yummy.

He tries and know more about your likes and dislikes. About the shows you like, your favorite colors, the type of clothing you like.

He takes you to buy some pretty clothes of your choosing, and even gets you a cute haircut.

You feel better when you can also express yourself. But from time to time you let him dress you as he wishes, you even match clothings sometime.

Okay so at first a bit dangerous to be near him, considering he sees you as small and chubby and feels the urge to put you in his mouth.

Beelzebub

Once he controls the urges, he is very sweet and caring.

Kinda blunt when he talks, but not clueless. He is not dumb so he knows that he shouldn't say certain things, but considering he is quite honest he lets slip some stuff, but inmediatly notices and fixes it.

Will share his food with you and sit you on his lap while you eat, sorry if you get slobber on your head.

Will make sure you get proper exercise so you grow strong.

Will also take you on piggyback rides wherever you'd like.

Considering he has a younger brother, he grows attached to you very quickly and would give his life for you, and take others.

Belphegor

It depends. If this is an universe where Belphegor doesn't have a vendetta against humans, he may not care too much at first, but then begins to like you.

He would take naps with you, and help you draw and color stuff.

He is the youngest brother, so he may teach you how to get away with being a brat, much to Lucifer's dismay.

Now. If it's the og timeline Belphie?

Things are difficult. He will still try and trick you into doing the pacts with his brothers. And you're a child, so you'd probably believe him.

He does feel more guilty about wanting to kill you, but in the end commits regardless.

It's up to you to forgive him or not. He did kill a child after all.

The brothers are all shocked at him, and disgusted.

It takes a while before things settle down after discovering you're Lilith's descendant.

They're very wary of leaving you with him in a room, in case he tries to hurt you.

But Belphegor feels extremely guilty. It eats him alive, he can't believe that his rage for humanity would make him kill a literal kid.

He tries to make it up to you by being present in your life. Helping you get ready on your day to day life. Taking you places you need to go, pampering you.

It's still up to you if you'll ever forgive him. Perhaps you do, but you'll never forget it.

You can still have a nice relationship with him though, it's not the end of the world. And your life is just beginning.

[starogeorgina]

Killer queen

Warnings: Incest, uncomfortable situation

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen × Reader

1.05

Letting out a deep sigh, you place your hands on your lower back, trying to relive some of the weight of the baby pushing down on your spine. With the size of your bump, you could easily be mistaken for having twins, although the maesters said it was only one baby and a lot of swelling.

After the meeting with the King’s Counsel was over, you and your grandsire headed towards your mother's quarters to have an unofficial meeting with the Green Counsel. The green’s council consisted of your mother, Ser Cristion, Aemond, the hand of the king, Aegon, and the lech Larys Strong. You went out of your way to keep Helaena out of the scheming and plotting; she was far too innocent to be involved.

Feeling your eyes burning into you, you finally sigh, “Yes, mother?”

Your mother pursed her lips and said, “That's a very interesting dress you chose to wear today.”

With your breasts swelling to twice what they normally would, you had decided to wear a gown that was designed for pregnant women; however, the one you’d chosen that morning had irked your mother. It was black with red roses sewn onto it on the bottom of the skirt, and the queen hated seeing her children wear house Targaryen colors. “It’s a gift from Lady Malia Lannister; she had it sent to the keep after finding out I’m with a child again. It would be rude not to wear it.”

“The princess is right, your grace,” Larys says before taking a sip from his cup of tea. “Small gestures, such as wearing gifts from other houses, are a reminder of who’s loyal to us.” The smile on Larys face sends shivers down your spine. There was something incredibly creepy about the clubfoot. He changes the conversation: “I hear Princess Rhaenyra is with child again.”

You roll your eyes; you have more pressing matters to discuss than your elder sister and your uncle. “Ser Cristion, is there any further word on who is behind the child fighting pits in Flea Bottom?”

“I’m afraid not, princess, but thanks to your connections we were able to locate one of the fighting pits, and it has since been destroyed.”

“Thank you, Ser Cristion,” you say sincerely.

“Is sending members of the King's Guards into Flea Bottom to knock down gambling pits really the best idea?” Larys asks.

You pull a face of disgust. “Gambling? The children are purposefully kept malnourished while their teeth and nails are sharpened for combat while sick spectators place their bets and cheer on to see which child will win or die.”

Your grandsire shifts the conversation to another issue, with Larys remaining quiet for some time. Shayla, who had now become one of your ladies in waiting, entered the room looking nervous. Sensing she was nervous, you excused yourself and stepped into the hallway to be greeted by one of the servants who watched the children while you attended meetings, holding onto your son's hand while gulping down. You take in Tré’s appearance and immediately burst into laughter; he was covered head to toe in mud.

You run your fingers through his silver locks, which had thick brown streaks of dirt and some greenery from what you assumed were bushes and flowers tangled in them. “You are filthy; what have you been doing?”

Tré giggles, “Me and Jaehaerys were pretending to be dragons.”

“You are dragons, my sweet.”

“The princes ran away from me, princess; I did try to stop them."

You cut her off with a soft laugh. “It’s quite alright, no harm done.” You lean down and lift Tré up, holding him above your bump. You kiss him on the cheek multiple times, making the young boy squeal in delight. “You sound like Breeze.”

“Your grace,” Shayla says, bowing.

You turn back around to see your mother looking at you with a somewhat amused expression on her face. “Ashara, your dress is filthy.”

“You don’t like it anyway,” you point out, earning a surprising smile from her. Although you and the queen hardly ever saw eye to eye, she was still your mother and loved her grandchildren greatly.

Soon as you walk back into her chamber, Aegon bursts into laughter, while Aemond’s jaw tenses, no doubt from watching you carry your son. You could only imagine your husband's reaction when he learned the princes managed to run off.

You sit back down to resume the meeting, which was almost over, with your son sitting on your lap. You kiss Tré’s cheek as he falls asleep in your arms. You remember once telling Aemond you never wanted children because you didn’t think you’d be capable of loving them. Oh, how wrong you were. Tré was your whole world, and you knew you’d love the next baby just as much.

—

Sitting in the garden, you gently rub your swollen stomach while watching as Aemond plays with your son. Tré was crouching behind bushes, giggling, thinking he had successfully hidden from his father, but of course Aemond knew where he was.

“Princess,” Silas, one of the servants, approaches you with a tray in his hands. He carefully places the plate of pastries, grapes, and bread on the table before sitting the tea down. While doing this, he quietly says, “I heard you are trying to stop the fighting pits in Flea Bottom, and I think there’s something you should know.”

You motion for him to sit with you and say, “Please go on.”

Silas nervously glances at your husband, who was watching your interaction, and declines your invitation to join you. “I do not wish to cross a line, princess, but I’ve heard rumors regarding Prince Aegon.”

Your mouth goes dry. “What is it you’ve heard?”

“That there are children fighting in pits with Targaryen features, and that they have been fathered by the king's eldest son.”

Silas couldn’t have been older than six and ten; he had an innocence around him that you wanted to protect. You place your hand on top of his and say, “Thank you; you did the right thing by telling me.”

“Please don’t tell anyone I told you, princess. I don’t want to get in trouble.”

“You’d risk getting into trouble by telling me, why?”

He shrugs. “You’ve always been very kind to me.”

“I’ll do my best to keep you safe, sir,” you smile.

He smiles back at you until Aemond stands behind you with your son in his arms and a murderous look on his face. Silas quickly bows his head and says, “My prince.”

You feel bad watching the young boy fumble over his feet to get away. You pout at Aemond as he sits down across from you and says, “You don’t need to do that.”

“Do what?”

“Scare the young servants.” You take a handful of grapes and begin cutting them into pieces. “The ones who approach me are harmless.”

Aemond smiles, something that he hardly ever does in front of others. “Motherhood has softened you, my love; you are far too trusting.”

You push the plate of cut-up grapes in front of Tré and say, “Perhaps, but it’s also common knowledge what will happen to anyone who crosses the wife of the rider of the largest dragon living.”

“Vhagar!” Tré squeals excitedly, making you chuckle.

“Hmm.” Aemond leans forward and brushes hair behind your ear. “Regardless, you are my wife, and I want to keep you safe.”

“Ñuha nēdenka zaldrīzes.”

—

You clench your teeth as you dip your feet into the basin that has been placed in front of you. The maester had added a mixture of oils that were meant to help ease the pain of how swollen and painful your feet had become during your pregnancy. You were supposed to be meeting your grandsire to discuss the latest news of Aegon’s bastards, but you were in far too much pain to walk further than your own bedchambers.

“Princess, Lord Strong is here to see you.”

You frown. “I’m improperly dressed. Tell Lord Strong, I’m feeling unwell and will see him tomorrow.”

It was only midday, but you had decided to resign in your chambers for the rest of the afternoon due to feeling so uncomfortable. Aegon and Helaena had gone dragon riding, while Aemond had gone to sit in with Tré for the remainder of his lessons, giving you much needed time alone. Even though this pregnancy was better than your first, it was still exhausting.

Closing your eyes, you lean your head back in the chair and try to doze off, but the sound of a cane hitting the cobblestones alters your appearance. What didn’t he understand about your request? You scowl at hearing him dismiss your lady-in-waiting, who is frantically telling him to wait. You reach for the dressing gown that is hanging on the side of the chair you are sitting in and quickly put it on to keep your modesty.

“I believe you were asked to leave.”

A look of shock crosses his features. “I do apologize; I have obviously misunderstood.”

Your glaze burns into the Lord as he sits down across from you. Seeing him limp, you feel obligated to allow him to sit for a moment. You nod for one of the servants to move the objects on the chair away so he can sit down comfortably. “What is it you want, Lord Strong?”

“For us to be friends, Ashara.”

Anger stirs within you. It wasn’t that he addressed you by your name; it was the arrogance that laced his voice that irked you. “Do not forget I am a Targaryen princess; next time you address me as any less, I will have your tongue removed.”

“Such a spirited princess,” he nods his head, looking amused. “I will do well to remember my place next time.”

When one of your ladies-in-waiting approaches you with a towel in her hands, you lift your feet from the basin to allow her to dry them. You notice Lary's eyes creepily glued to your feet, and the way he repositions himself on the chair makes you feel uncomfortable.

He clears his throat. “I am good companions with the queen; I just thought I’d offer my services to you.”

“I will keep that in mind, but I must ask that you please leave, as I’m very tired.”

“Of course, growing a child is a tiresome job.”

You avert your eyes as he slowly walks by you, with what appears to be a bulge in his pants. A sickening feeling builds inside you. Whatever had just transpired left a sour taste in your mouth and left you feeling uncomfortable in a place you’ve always felt safe.

Ñuha nēdenka zaldrīzes - My fierce dragon

[babyrdie]

Any Sacrificial Couple™ fanart?

I had an incomplete drawing when you sent me this, so I had to wait until I finished it before I could answer you!

Face closeup!

It's probably the last drawing I'll do for months lol. Seriously, i kind of tried something new in the sense that i wanted to try to play with "excesses" since usually i find that i use simple visual elements and my god…it's really excessive and the process becomes more complex. I think this is also the drawing where I had to think the most about compositions and colors, compared to the others…because, in the others, the colors were purely aesthetic, but this time they were purposefully chosen to mean something. There are a lot of attempts at visual nods here…some very obvious, some more subtle. Some that probably could have been worked in a better way too. But I really like the colors! Not to be arrogant, but I would actually use this as a matching icon if I had someone to use it with lol

I'll spare you guys a long explanatory text of the process, I suppose if someone is really interested the ask button is always available.

[bonefall]

I wanted to submit a few of the clanmew names that I enjoy and thought were really fun!! I took some liberties considering come translations either don't exist or aren't applicable to my ocs.

(Context: My Clans are stationed in Utah, and the specific clan featured in these names is in a desert/cliff esque landscape. Their Clan, JuniperClan, is named after the Utah Juniper, which looks significantly different from a normal juniper.)

Starting with one of my favorite ocs first; Skipperleap - Skepbyiao! I was super happy his prefix had a translation, especially since it's for the "Large Skipper" variety, as it's a little funny, considering Skipperleap is a larger than average cat. I decided on -yiao as the suffix (-spring, straight upward leap) because it sorta fits his personality as well? He is a good natured cat, with a positive attitude, and brings a "spring" to someones step.

Coottail - Ubobufr - A bit harder, but settled with Ubo because of his dark brown-black fur color. I also just really liked the sound of it. Originally I was going to go with -swash, as his name is pretty simple in general, but -bufr seemed more fun considering its a tail feather from a bird, which would connect to the fact his name is Coot-. Again, it just sounds neat :]!

Beechfang - Chokki - Since Beech- isn't in the lexicon, I decided upon "Chok-", or Trunk. It symbolizes Beechfang in the sense that he is solid and strong, a good cat to rely on in stressful situations. He doesn't faulter from conflict, and is reliable. -ki, meaning canine fangs, was another easy choice, since Beechfang is known for his prowess in hunting (and ocassionally fighting). Plus. Chokki just sounds EXTREMELY cute. One of my favorite names by far.

Another Favorite oc of mine, Orchidthroat - Palifuhpi. Since Orchid isn't really used, I settled on Palifuh (Purple) since Orchidthroat has a blue-gray coat, and in lighting it comes across as purple. Orchidthroat is a magnificent speaker, usually bringing conflict to an end and being direct with what he means. -pi was chosen because "Used to indicate someone saw or heard and reported directly" sounds pretty accurate to how Orchidthroat does things.

Finally, Thymeclaw - Hhasskachkubo. Thymeclaw is an elder, and a very respected one at that, as she used to be one of the Clan's most skilled fighters. Hhass was chosen primarily because it means sneaky, and I was trying to reference "creeping thyme", as it's the only thyme I can see native to the UK? There is a varient of Red creeping thyme that can be found in North America, but I'm not too sure on if it'd be present in the region I'm basing this in. -kachkubo specifically being used was to reference Thymeclaw's fierce power, in how she'd strike her enemies physically and emotionally during combat.

It's funny, you're on a totally different continent but all of these names could be 100% region-compliant, from Coots to Orchids! You just happened to perfectly hit a bunch of things I haven't yet translated LMAO how did you do that

BUT ANYWAY! Feel free to make your own translations for Utah species, or modify the words I'm about to give you! Great job btw!

Coot (Fulica atra) = Nio Black, red-eyed waterbirds similar to moorhens which look like ducks when swimming. Known for being devoted parents.

Beech (Fagus sylvatica) = Choo Trunk + Smooth. Known for its very smooth bark, absolutely perfect for carving glyphs on. Not so much a "satisfying" tree to get a scratch on, though! They also produce nuts that squirrels like to eat. These are actually planted purposefully in this area. At the Lake, only ThunderClan has access to them. RiverClan used to have a small orchard of them near the twolegplace, which was where Beechfur got his name from.

Bee Orchid (Ophrys apifera) = Fefsue There's actually a ton of orchids in this part of England, but I picked my favorite. It's the self-pollinating bee orchid, which mimics a species of solitary bee that may have gone extinct. You probably know of it from the famous xkcd comic about it, but I WILL give you a little bit of hope! The bee orchid has a ton of morphs and in the warmer parts of its range, DOES actually have bees that still pollinate it. What's weirder is that this far north, they don't seem to have one? So... Bee Orchid, how did you Get here? Is YOUR bee gone? What happened to YOUR bee...

I am ALSO taken aback by the fact that thyme apparently doesn't grow here. Weird. But anyway I got your back; here's two roundabout translations for OTHER, non-Thyme plants that are common in the modeled region, but reference thyme.

Thyme-leaved Speedwell (Veronica serpyllifolia) = Kukon A delicate little flower beloved by pollinators, and can grow in thick mats across the land. Deceptively quick and hardy, it can become a weed if unmanaged, and hides seeds in the pelt of any cat that comes by it so it can spread further. Very fitting for your girl, I think!

Dotted Thyme-Moss (Rhizomnium punctatum) = Mwarfum Blooming + Moss. Has distinct little egg-shaped leaves and rising tendrils. Considered pretty, but not a particularly useful type of moss. For anyone seeking a more "herbal" vibe for thyme.

[meanderingandrambling]

I never really feel clever or informed enough to comment on the met gala but some folks I like skipped this year and at the very least I want to save my top ten for posterity so here we are.

I'll be doing this in several rounds. Theme Favorites: top ten that did a good job with the theme and were interesting enough for the met gala. That's A Nice Dress/Suit: top ten that were beautiful for some event that wasn't the met gala. Come on, this is for wearing theatrical art. Personal Favorites: top ten free-for-all in which I just pick my favorites based purely on personal aesthetic. Absolutely no attempt to even pretend I'm thinking of things like theme, craftspersonship, or style. Maybe a forth round for stuff I just want to talk about or things I did not like.

The 2024 theme was Garden of Time, the exhibit Sleeping Beauties: Reawakening Fashion. Most people took that in a historical and/or botanic direction, both themes I adore. Interestingly enough the Garden of Time is a short story about the hyper-wealthy walling themselves in their pleasure gardens with magic time slowing flowers until the hoi polloi riot and overtake them. Unfortunately I saw no outfits that incorporated the injustice of our capitalistic hellscape, the inevitability of death, or less generously: the unwashed masses destroying genteel beauty. Perhaps next year.

Lana Del Rey wearing Alexander McQueen

There were a lot of outfits I really liked but I thought this one really captures the threatening beauty of nature, genteel isolation, and vague sense of mortality you get in Ballard story. I also dig how it looks like something a member of the fae would wear.

Everything else below the cut to keep this from being a color of the sky length post.

Cynthia Erivo wearing Thom Browne

This number will be showing up in my favorites. When I imagine the anthropomorphic Death as she would appear in the Ballard story, this is she. The petals over the darkness are a bit on the nose as a death image, but I positively love it.

Rebecca Ferguson wearing Thom Browne

Another one that will appear in my favorites. So it's hard to talk about the Garden of Time without mentioning The Masque of the Red Death. Both are about rich aesthetes locked away against the rioting masses and the inevitability of death. Ferguson is dressed to sweep uninvited through a decadent compound to bring darkness and decay in her wake, and really isn't that what we're all going for at all times?

Demi Moore wearing Harris Reed and Cartier

God I love this dress. The spear things remind me of the hands on a clock and the peonies are that brilliant pink that makes me want to lick them. I like how the sleeves frame her, almost like wings or a halo.

Harris Reed in Harris Reed

Amazing. Honestly I hardly have anything to say. I adore the sort of Georgian (I think Georgian, my art history is pretty shit) pattern and the halo effect of Reed's headpiece. A feel like he's pretty purposefully doing a saint thing in the picture and I love it.

Tyla wearing Balmain

Holy fuck did this one fly under my radar. Much like an operatic magpie, I am attracted to bright colors and shiny things, and so missed the subtlety of this sand gown. She's dressed as the sands of time, very cool. Spoiler for an 80 year old short story: it ends with the main characters turning into statues, so I really like how the dress makes it look like she's turning into sand.

Taylor Russell wearing Loewe and Fred Leighton

Like Tyla's gown above I like Russell's suggestion of inorganic transformation. She has a sort of sad dryad/maiden warrior chosen by god thing going on.

Dan Levy wearing Loewe

Gives me Persephone energy. I like the floral color and life contrasted to the black. The transition reminds me of the transformation in the story and, if I sort of tilt my head, the passage of all life into death.

J Harrison Ghee wearing ???

Okay so Ghee's gown doesn't really capture the themes of time or death but holy fuck I love it. This is how six-year-old me wanted to dress every day. A friend said "it's a carnival dress, though certainly a very good one." Personally I think it's perfect for any and every occasion. I love that they look like she's at the 1994 Thumblina film's Beetle Ball. I mean, look at this image and tell me they didn't come from the same party. Playful, camp, and over-the-top.

[crimeronan]

i've been really enjoying making devin's life suck shit lately. i know i keep saying every time i develop a new symptom i give it to them but there really is something to just. being a 38-year-old protagonist who won't kill yourself because you're not a dramatic 18-year-old anymore but who also spends literally every waking moment in so much fucking pain that you're constantly fucking begging to die. while everyone around you is like wow it's wild that you lived to 38 good job :) everyone with your condition before you has eventually lain down in the same graveyard and purposefully starved/frozen to death and you know that you're going to eventually too so you have a pact with your wife (the one you chose)(not the soulmate wife who's been making your life a living hell since you were 16 and she was a grown-ass woman) to die together but before you do you're both taking a ton of people down with you. you poorly speak about eight different languages because you're surrounded by refugees and immigrants and marginalized people and many of them are very afraid until they hear the relief of a familiar tongue and remembering these languages is exhausting because you are so sick all the time but it matters so much. you are terrified to die because whoever succeeds you will be just as sick and just as tired and just as empty and they probably won't make that same effort so you must go on standing you can't break that which isn't yours. you like soft blankets and string music and drums and the color green. you're in so much pain. your wife has made you a murderer but she first recognized you for your kindness a decade before you remember even meeting her. your magic is eating you alive. there is no cure and there is nobody who cares to find one. you wouldn't have chosen any of this but you didn't get a choice so now it's just a matter of what you do with your shitty time in this shitty body in this shitty world. your life sucks So Much Fucking Shit. you just want to curl up with your wife and sleep til you aren't tired anymore. you aren't EVER gonna get to do that.

[invinciblerodent]

Annoying I what way pls explain?

Obligatory "not all elves/tieflings" to start, if it's not your shirt then for the love of all gods real and imagined don't wear it, but I mean annoying in the way of,

"I will vocally tout this one specific type of character above the rest as if they were all inherently better, objectively more attractive, and more interesting than any other possibility, while simultaneously reducing them to their physical features, aesthetics, and the fantasy-prejudice they experience because of said features."

"Despite the clear overrepresentation of my choice in both the base materials and the fanbase (and everyone's generally very favorable view of my choice), I will nevertheless openly complain about any imagined slight I experience because of the way the world/story is set up. Basically, I'll purposefully choose the heritage I know is fantasy-oppressed within the setting, but post rage-fueled rants about every instance the fantasy-racism might actually manifest in the narrative, while also touting my choice's superiority, making sure my character remains largely unaffected by the fantasy-racism, and complaining that there is not more of it."

"I will openly and honestly make statements that amount to 'xyz game is best experienced through my choice of race, specifically and only because of that, and no other feature of my character's', and refuse to entertain the equal validity of any story that is at all different from the one I've concocted for myself."

Basically, annoying in the way of

"There is a right way to play this game, and it's mine."

And yes, another disclaimer to try and dodge any bad-faith interpretation of what I just said: I might make the occasional navel gaze-y post about how I think it's fun for, for example, my Iona and Astarion to explore- and reacquaint themselves with their shared fey nature together, and reflect on what that means to them, or how I enjoy seeing XYZ types of characters (like dwarves) in a more general sense, but I hope it's clear to anyone who has been following me for any length of time that I would absolutely never say shit like "[this or that arbitrary choice I made for my own game] is better/more valid/more 'canon' than someone else's choice".

I always just talk about my canon, and my world, and my character, and when I talk about how their race might affect them, or their view of the plot, or talk about their feelings that might color their experience of an event based on who they are, I specifically mean that one specific character. It's never meant as a blanket statement, or a judgement of the value of any other person's choice that might differ in some way.

Inconsequential as it is, I will never forget people coming to my inbox to tell me the character I had been working on for like two years at that point was unfit for my choice of partner for him, just because he isn't an elf, and I doubt I will soon forget going into my recommended posts and seeing 3-5 lengthy posts in a row about how BG3 is best played as a tiefling, about how great all the tieflings are, and how we should appreciate tieflings more, despite, you know, them being one of the most (if not THE most) widely chosen PCs and a great chunk of the game being about them already.

Just... be normal about differing choices in a choice-based RPG, man.

[lighthouseborn]

Character Survey

basics.

name: Henry James (Swann) Turner (and I'm not sure he'd have much reason to give it this way but if you were to throw a 'Sparrow' in there he would not object)

nicname/s: I have yet to encounter any, actually. His name doesn't really lend to it? and I don't think anyone has chosen anything that isn't one of his given names, yet? If they have I forgot it I'm so sorry.

age: mid-twenties vibes these days, 23-25 thereabout

species: Human (...son of a psychopomp, which sometimes seems like a Something, but also not really? Blurry. Human and mundane and normal in all the ways you need to worry about.)

personal.

morality: lawful / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true

religion: No formal adherence to any structures, and he's not much of a praying type either. He's got some superstitions and general beliefs, they just... don't necessarily steer him into thinking any of the things that exist are things he would give sway of his choices to.

sins: greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath

virtues: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice

known languages: English, Mandarin & Malay, Shipwreck's Pidgin, Latin (or some bastard form of it, at least), Greek, many many many partials via a mixture of exposure, study, and educated guesses based on the languages he has a firm grip on. Loves loves loves languages. Descendants verse has a sign language he's getting good at. Modern verses,,, I don't know if he knows any sign languages but he'd be excited to learn if he doesn't!

secrets:  

physical.

build: scrawny / bony / slender / fit /athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average

height: 6'0" (1.83m)

scars / birthmarks: So many. Most tend to be covered, except the ones on his face and neck and hands. And the one on his face is fairly faint. I have not moved the scar chart to this blog yet (and I've been thinking of redoing it) but it is viewable [here.] [And also here for the D:BH verse, which is different, but it definitely needs updating.] I think there's also a Descendants verse one but I've lost it. It's around somewhere.

abilities / powers: Disarming puppy dog energy. (That's a joke it's not a real superpower or anything but it is true he's got a knack for being just. very earnest in a way that encourages people around him to put down their guard (or at least let him, specifically, through it.) This is not an intentional effort on his part. Like I mean sure he wants to be trustworthy but I mean he's not purposefully trying to trip or trick or manipulate people into liking him he just. Is how he is and it's very open, and it tends to endear people. (Or drive them crazy, or both s;ldkfjg;dlkfgj.))

restrictions: Hates feeling trapped or cornered into things and will bite and claw and kick about it; not a huge fan of enclosed spaces for this reason (it looks like claustrophobia sometimes and it's technically true he doesn't enjoy little bity tiny spaces, but it's less about them being small than it is about the enclosed/trapped feeling.) "How is this a restriction" it makes commitments something of a challenge and also literally being trapped or tied down, etc., can cause legitimate panic if he can't see a way out of it.

favorites. 

food: Curry! He's not especially picky about what kind, he's always interested in a curry. Also most fruit! But specifically a big fan of mango and lychee.

drink: Spiced tea. (Like, true teas blended with spices, not teas mostly made of spices, but that second thing is cool too.)

pizza topping: I sincerely doubt he's picky at all in any way about pizza.

color: He's got a lean for jewel tones and earth tones, especially blues and greens, a measure of gold, and the occasional red or burgundy. 

music genre: He's not crazy into music but generally prefers simple vibes, vocal pieces and acoustic guitar and memorable verses, stuff you can hum and carry around in your head.

book genre: Myth stuff for sure. I think even before he became obsessed with the Trident he was just into stories and legends as a kid, the kind of stuff that makes the world seem mysterious and magical, and he just. Never outgrew it. He's got a liiiiittle bit of a history lean, but more for sociology-esque things than like, foreign policy and infrastructure and war facts. The things that unite people, rather than push them apart.

movie genre: Modern Henry is a tv/movie hater sry (he gets bored with it really easily.) 

curse word: Despite what people say of sailors he really doesn't tend to swear very much? Typically only if he's very frustrated, which usually ends up aimed at an inanimate object, which usually means he's saying something along the lines of "this BLOODY (thing)" which is fairly mild all things considered. He's definitely dropped a few 'damn [it]'s and the occasional "for fucks sake". Arse is probably part of his lexicon but I feel stupid/wrong when I try to use it lmfao 

scents: Fresh outdoor air, especially coastal. Florals are nice! (Plumeria & hibiscus & orchids & irises) Brewing tea. Book smell is a good smell. He doesn't know this is what it is but cocoa butter.

fun stuff.

songs: [There's a a whole playlist for this] but big ones include: Wild I Am by Vocal Few , Eulogy by Charlie Allen , Seven by Sleeping at Last, Rubik's Cube by Athlete, Give It Up by Cody Fry, Here I Am by Brian Adams. [There's also actually a second playlist for this.] ...[And this one too.] ;dkjg;ldkfjg;kj (There's reasons for them to be on separate playsts it's just. very hard for me to articulate why.) [This is the angsty one] though that's pretty straightforward.

aesthetic: patches of sunlight and coastal winds and waist high grass waving in the wind and lanterns and lamplight and tropical flowers and the heights of a ship's rigging and adventure through uncharted places and books and sketches and maps and shells and walls papered with thoughts and trinkets and hammocks and humming and cliffsides and dancing and stories by the fire and port wine and rum and spiced tea and warm sturdy hugs and light linen shirts dried in the sun and flushed sunkissed skin and. more but my brain stopped working and this is already quite a list. you get it though you get the energy,,

sings in the shower: Hmmmm I feel it's unlikely but humming is possible?

likes puns: ..Neutral about them? (Hetty thinks they're funny though she likes to harass him with puns sometimes.)

[harpers-tartarus]

Its important for everyone to know that @whatisamildopinion inspired the way I wrote the prologue for my fantasy book (have I written anything else? no, but that's not related lol) bc their aasimar au is permanently imprinted in my brain:

It goes like this: you are born into a prison of beautiful lights and love all around. You think that there is nothing to want or to need. You wear silk and gemstones and you are your mother's pride; her chosen.

Your father, on the other hand, detests you because his illegitimate son is born first. A Twilight legitimizes him under the dusk sky and that doesn't help. Your brother is several shades lighter, nearly a foot taller, with ears that don't jut out as much.

The tide is turning against your kind, you can see it and so can your god. Humanity turned on the Black Seed, why wouldn't they turn on you, too?

Succession is a nightmare for everyone involved because someone always loses and somehow it is both the siblings. He loses by being born first and being a hybrid of two very different species; you lose because you are your mother's daughter and the second-born.

Your father lost whatever vengeance he had against your mother, losing her in the process; what woman could ever love a man that had chosen to purposefully impregnate a mistress after his own wife was with child in an effort to ensure that his bastard is born second? A truly deluded one. Perhaps there had never really been any love there, but you were too young to ask and by the time you cared, it was much too late.

So, you dive headfirst into your studies. Your runetype will reveal itself in time, but you do not have much and you know it when the first assassination attempt hits its mark.

You are lying in a pool of your own blood and it just gets deeper and deeper until it drowns you. For the first time, you hate your father, standing there unmoving as he watches you, his heir, die. There is copper burning your nose and vengeance in your heart and when you reach out for the Black Seed for the first time, he does not cast you aside as your father did.

The last thing you hear is your mother screaming as she paints runes in the air above your body. Your choked lungs breathe once more before darkness comes.

When you awaken, you withdraw from your father so fast that you hope it hurts. He makes demands of your mother who shields you with trembling fingers. Your mother has never feared anyone or anything and the mere thought of your father instilling such a thing in her makes you ravenous for a comeuppance you now know you will not live to see.

The Black Seed is the god of vengeance but also inevitability and he sees your fall far before you do.

They say you changed after the attack, which is true, but your people do not believe that. You put on a brave face for them so they do not know of the screaming matches your family is now engaging in daily. You love your people. You love your mother. You do not love your father and you do not love your brother. Maybe if you had, certain events would not come to pass, but inevitability is a sea you will drown in and you know that it is not your responsibility to extend an olive branch for a conflict that was not your fault.

You are still blamed for it, as though you had any part in your conception. If anything is to be blamed, it is your father's hatred of himself, of his own kind. You wonder how he can, but you stop yourself from asking; the answer will drive you mad and there is no god of madness to claim you when that happens.

It is the day of your eighteenth cycle, the day everything will change, and your brother tells you that he hopes you die in the Trials. He tells you that you are not strong enough for what comes next, that you are no leader; you don't even have a Runetype and he bears the Diviners' colors proudly. Years ago, this would upset you, but there is no love lost between you; the line was drawn in the sand years ago and the battleground is painted with your blood.

You enter the forest with only a dagger at your side and the fortification of your mother's love.

The war is lost before you reach the fork in the path, because as you found an ally in a god, so, too, did your brother, but his god dares to break the rules.

You do not feel it when you are smote, you only know that you are there one second and gone the next.

Death is inevitable and your death was even more so.

You are dead but you are not forgotten. Your life is short but your legacy is long and one day the truth will be discovered with fresh eyes that will claim you as the followers of the Black Seed do.

All that is left to do, is wait.

[bluestar22x]

Get To Know Your Moots

Thanks @morallyinept for tagging me :)

What's the origin of your blog title? Don't have one really. Just my online name BlueStar, which I chose cause my favorite color is blue and star was just kinda randomly chosen. I just liked the combo.

OTP(s) + Shipname: Eeeee...a lot. Piper/Leo (Charmed), Geralt/Yen (The Witcher), Melinda/Jim (Ghost Whisperer), Nikita/Michael (Nikita), Amy/Ty (Heartland), Severide/Kid (Chicago Fire), Bobby/Athena (911), Cole/Cassie (12 Monkeys), Stefan/Elena (The Vampire Diaries), Klaus/Cami (The Originals), Sam/Eileen (Supernatural), Coulson/May (Agents of SHIELD) - this is not a complete list

I do not like ship names usually so I don't conform to using ship names.

Favourite colour: Blue. Pretty much any shade, but I tend to like deep/darker blue colors more (but not as dark as navy, though navy is still nice). I have had a weakness for blue eyes most of my life, even when a lot of my TV crushes actually have green or brown eyes.

Favourite game: It's between Jurassic World Evolution 2 (XBox) or Rival Stars Horse Racing (mobile). Probably JWE 2.

It was Zoo Tycoon 1 and 2 on PC when I was growing up - I still miss playing those 2 games.

Song stuck in your head: Nothing really lately. Whatever's on the radio. But recently I was listening to Chosen Family by Rina Sawayama & Elton John. Finally a song for one of my top favorite character dynamics. Someone please use this song for The Last Of Us, Forever (ABC), Supernatural, etc.

Weirdest habit/trait?: I need a book marker in my spare hand whenever I'm on computer or reading a book or writing, etc. anything that involves thinking and not needing 2 hands. I flip it around in one hand and sometimes certain people get annoyed by the flicking noise but it helps me focus. It's like my version of a fidget spinner. If I don't have one, I sometimes end up playing with my hair instead.

Hobbies: Writing, reading, watching movies/TV, playing video games, watching people play games on youtube, music, singing along to music, talking about my favorite animals and characters. Traveling when I get the chance. I used to have horseback riding but haven't been able to ride in years (Around 6 years or so now).

If you work, what's your profession? I work as a cashier. I know, so basic (and very boring if everything's going right).

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Horse Barn owner. I would love to rent out stalls to people and take care of their horses.

Something you're good at: I would say nothing - I'm just okay at a lot of things. People around me would probably say writing and drawing. Which I would say are decent, but nothing to bark about. lol

Something you're bad at: Taking compliments

Something you love: Horses, dogs, deer, giraffes, okapi, most mammals, colorful fish and birds, dinosaurs, beautiful landscapes, beautiful architecture and art, flowers, fanfic, movies/TV/books/games, [a variety of] music, Greek/Roman mythology, supernatural lore, traveling, learning new things (especially about animals or medicine/biology), decent human beings...

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: A lot of different animals including dinosaurs and my favorite shows/movies/characters.

Something you hate: People who bully or purposefully try to get on my nerves, people trying to control/manipulate me, being unable to eat whatever I want and do whatever I want, intolerant and ignorant people, not being my own boss

Something you collect: Books and DVDs, music

Something you forget: A lot.

What's your love language? Gift giving with most people. It could be touch with the right person but generally, while I am a bit touch starved, I don't like being touched. I mostly find it awkward. Still waiting for the right person to hug me. I have had a few amazing hugs in my life, but they were long ago.

Animals get more affection from me than anyone I've met in person. My dog gets so much hugs and kisses to her dismay. I love snuggling.

Favourite movie/show: Tough one. Mostly I have favorite characters. But Supernatural, 911 Lone Star, Heartland, 12 Monkeys, Ghost Whisperer, The Mandalorian, The Originals, Almost Human, Nikita, Forever (ABC), Person Of Interest, Charmed, Dominion, and Agents of SHIELD are all up there. Hawkeye gets a special mention cause I feel like it.

I would say The Last of Us but it's only because of Joel and Ellie and Tommy. I don't really care about much else. Pretty much always skip the scenes without Joel. Season 2 will be so evil.

Movie wise I like a lot of animal and action movies. Marvel. Things like Seabiscuit, The Horse Whisperer, Marley & Me, Transformers, Terminator (part 2 in particular/mainly), Thor (2011), Captain America The Winter Soldier, The Avengers movies, the Rocky and Creed movies, etc. (Creed 1 is my fav). A few romances too like Letters To Juliet.

Favourite food: So many. Steak, shake and bake pork chops, Chester Fried Chicken and wedges, McDonalds fries (when fresh), watermelon (when dark red), Dominos cheesy bread, Pizza (especially Pizza Hut pizza and certain gas station pizza), some apples (red/not too sour), a variety of chips, cookie dough, vanilla and chocolate ice cream, coconut cream pie, pumpkin pie, sprinkles, hot fudge, chocolate pudding - almost anything chocolate/milk chocolate (hate dark chocolate), really

With the exception of apples and watermelon really the only food I love is bad for me *sighs*

Favourite animal: Horses. I love most horses.

I distinctly don't like Arabians with super dished faces or Akhal-Teke horses, especially the shiny ones. I love horses that look wilder, more natural. I love ranch style Quarter Horses (not the overly muscled ones), Halfingers, Fjords, Friesians, Percherons, and Mustangs. I like my horses calm, lazy even. As close to bombproof as a horse can be. I've known several.

Dogs are runner-up. And I like small dogs more. Some big dogs intimidate me. My favorite is the Chihuahua. They are full of character, spicy, cuddly, very loyal to their people, surprisingly easy to train, and some are pretty active (some go hiking with their owners). And I'm not scared by a 6 pound Chihuahua even if they're acting like they will bite your head off. They're just scared and they can't do much harm compared to big dogs. Every well bred and trained Chihuahua I've met have been wonderfully sweet (though they are vocal and very good watchdogs - don't count on them being guard dogs lol). My Chloe is a Chihuahua. So is my parents' dog Zoe. Chloe learned basic commands in two weeks and Zoe was potty trained pretty well by the end of her first week with us. They're smart, just a little stubborn. If you don't lead them they will boss you around. They are as gentle and sweet as any dog can get.

Dinosaurs, giraffes, deer, okapi, and a few other animals follow.

What were you like as a child? Loner type. Major introvert. Head in a book or out in the backyard catching butterflies, literally. Didn't have a real friend until the 6th grade.

Favourite subject at school? English and Biology.

Least favorite subject? Math. If it's not add and subtract, I suck at it. If I suck at something, I hate it.

What's your best character trait? I don't want to hurt anyone; I mostly mind my own business.

What's your worst character trait? I am too much of a people pleaser. Some people walk over me. I'm indecisive. I'm not trusting enough and I'm too trusting at the same time.

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? Instead of being alone in bed, I'm with the right guy for me. Not the perfect guy, nobody is perfect, but the right one for me. Ya know? Something real. Someone I can trust and who shares values/interests with me.

I also would love to be out in a barn hanging out with the horses and my guy. lol

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet? Uhhhh... Abraham Lincoln? One of the few US presidents that actually seem worthy of respect. I would like to know if he is all he's cracked up to be.

I'm not one for placing faith in people I don't truly know. ha

I very rarely have celebrity crushes. I like to say I love the characters; the actors are debatable. They seem nice at best.

Recommend one of your favourite fanfics (spread the love!): I will circle this back to @morallyinept and her Adrift With You Series. It's really good.

She already recommended the current fic I'm attached to (Familiar!Ezra)

x

Tagging whoever wants to play :)

[anim8yash]

Critical Analysis

Son, E. (2023) ‘Symbolic Image of Colors in the Animation Film, Loving Vincent’, Quarterly Review of Film and Video, 40(7), pp. 807–826. doi: 10.1080/10509208.2023.2235991.

Written by Eunha Son, a research professor at the Korean Studies institute at Pusan National University, specializing in the interdisciplinary studies of humanities and imaging science, this article analyzes the metaphoric and representative meaning of colors in animation through the example of the recently released uniquely animated film "Loving Vincent"(2017). I have chosen pages 810 to 813 from this paper to make the analysis.

This part is dedicated to the evaluation of colors, especially the ones which deal with our mental and emotional aspects. The author elaborates that the choice of colors in films are notably used to enhance its emotional value. Hence, it stresses on making it prevalent to use metaphors through representation and doing so by the use of color. In medium such as animation where the artist has complete control over the subject, forms, colors and environment, the choice of colors to effectively communicate the essence of the shot becomes important. The author bases this study on the foundational work of revolutionary color theorists such as, Faber Birren’s (1961) color theory, Wassily Kandinsky’s (1914) work on Spiritual art, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s (1840) color theory and many more, as well as evaluating the psychological impact of colors used in recently released animations.

"Loving Vincent" is an animated feature film released in 2017 which is based on the life of the legendary painter Van Gogh which is also the theme of this article. The author observes that the colors used in the films are the same that was used in Van Gogh's paintings and talks about its representation. The colors of the character are figurative while the color of the background sets the mood and emotional value of the shot. The article states how the film uniquely uses oil paintings by Van Gogh to animate and narrate the story. Thus, all of its frames are painted by artists in the stylized approach which was used by Van Gogh and also preserves the same interpretation that he used through his colors. After Van Gogh's death, his life is revisited in this film through the perspectives of people who knew him. It is clear that each person had a different narration about how he dies and the film tries to explore the cause of his death through its runtime and the ways in which colors were used to communicate through each person's perspective.

The article also tries to settle the dispute about "Color psychology" about its mental and sentimental application. They do so by quoting the opinions of well known color theorists across history and presenting the significance of it. The author suggests, through Guilford (1939)'s work that the psychological and neurological reaction produce the affect we feel through the interaction with colors and hence also attach emotional values to them. They also emphasize on the quote “the harmony of color can only be based upon the principle of purposefully touching the human soul” (Kandinsky 1914,59) which suggests that colors have an impact on the very foundations of being and so, goes beyond psychological facets of a human, resulting in an authority over their emotions. Focusing on color balance, Eunha talks about the historic and symbolic meanings of color and its function of setting the mood and adding more information about the context in any film.

The article stresses on how combinations in which colors are used becomes extremely important to express certain feelings with clarity. It makes mention of color being categorized as warm and cool tones as well as light and dark shades. The text emphasizes that tones and shades both bring something to the table and the interaction between them makes or breaks the expression. Light shades are related to warm tones while Dark shades are connected to cooler tones. In Author's words "Brightness is matched with the temperature of the color". The interconnection of temperature with two of the primary colors i.e. Yellow and Blue is mentioned it great detail. The article highlights how Yellow tends to behave keenly and does not naturally go to prominent depths whereas Blue acts in an exact contradiction to yellow. Due to these reasons, Yellow and Blue are widely used to contrast each other. When mixed in equilibrium, they generate green. The application of Blue describes a darker, dispirited character while Yellow, a delicate and warm character. The text also talks about tones that effect the function of a color to act both cheerful or bright with higher saturation and gloomy, dull or depressive with lower brightness.

The Author also presents Faber Birren's (1961) work on representing colors with the personality of people wherein according to Birren, Extroverts were portrayed with warm colors and introverts with cool colors. The text sheds light on some of Yellow's representation such as it being implied spiritually or possessing the quality to appeal intellectuals and people with less intelligence. While in west it was mostly negative with the associations of qualities such as timidity, preconceptions and oppression. Another important aspect of this article is the mention of Color theory by Von Goethe(1840) which says Yellow and Blue are extremes of the color spectrum and their complementary relation with each other give rise to other colors in the spectrum. Using these points from authoritative sources, the paper speaks about maximum emotional impact that occurs when using Yellow and Blue in greater detail. Through Eisenstein's theory of colors, the article explains the significance of the co-relation between color, story and sound while learning the process of film-making.

In conclusion, this article talks about a very important and relevant topic in film-making i.e. representation through colors. Providing valuable insights as well as strong authority based on the work of color theorists from the past and by using a recent and uniquely made artefact as an example of its application. The subject being vast and highly practical, also opens new doors to experiment , practice and an opportunity to contribute on the research in future while exploring deeper into the fascinating connection between human psychology, emotions and colors.

[chondrichthyes-x-mantodea]

Strap the fuck in

I grew up in a Christian school so I'll try to pull out some of my memories. You're in for a ride, but I feel this is good for me to walk through what has happened.

• I went to the preschool owned by my actual schools parents. From 2-5, I was always told by the father that I was "gaining weight" and "eating too much candy." I was a very "gnc" (aka normal) child. I liked to wear boy shirts with realistic alligators on them, but sometimes I'd put on my crazy ass floral skirt with it. The owners hated my parents for letting me dress myself and hated that I wasn't feminine, so that was another target. I once cut all of my hair off and was called a boy by many of the students and the worst of the owners litter (a whole 30 year old woman) who would also bully me. She would let the boys punch me. One time, the whole class bullied me for a week straight, and she egged them on. A boy threw colored pencils past my head and almost injured me, she laughed. I was purposefully chosen last for choosing the color of flower I wanted to be for a play. She said "what color of flower do you want to be?" and kept getting angry at me for choosing the ones that were already picked. It's really a shame she didn't know how good my memory is, it's been like 15 years at least. I once lifted up my dress at school and was banned from wearing dresses (+ hit by the owners for it, I didn't tell my parents). A boy told me to let him put his head under my dress and we got caught (I was punished he was not). And then worst of all the father did do some inappropriate things to me. I can't remember in detail, but I'm certain it did happen and my triggers support it.

• Well, then I went to kindergarten at their daughters school (not the evil daughter, still a piece of shit). I "liked" this boy. He was black. I really just wanted to be friends with him, I was like 6. But the owner talked to my mom about it. She said "well don't you want her to be with someone more like her?" Insinuating that a white girl and black boy couldn't be friends or in love. Other than that, kindergarten was kinda nice. My teacher was def a lesbian despite the school she taught at. Wdym you travel with your roommate who's a woman???? And ur unmarried???? Hmmmmmm 👀👀👀

• First grade was ok too. There was a child that had a lot of issues. Mother was dead, father was hardly around. Just a very troubled kid. I became friends with him, and I did think he was fun, but I was also expected to be a pillow for him. To correct his actions. So ofc I was always sat with him and what not. Whatever, he was a good friend.

• 2nd grade was pure fucking shit to me. Not even just the school, but my house caught on fire and a lot of my pets died. Had to move and restart. So I was a very hurt kid at this point. Some other things I remember were my principal getting into an argument with my teacher about homosexual marriage. Also really weird the boys in my class would do disgusting shit but when I did it I got in trouble. I burped super loud once and got in trouble. Also think it was here that I jumped off the swing and broke my arm. I told everyone that I copied what my two male friends did, and I was ridiculed for "copying boys". Also , it's worth mentioning how violent the boys were and how it was passed off as normal??? This one kid used to throw lizards (anoles) and in general I was terrified of the boys finding animals because they would kill them, especially in front of me.

• I don't really have a timeline for these other things, but the principals son also stood on my legs with his full weight (he was in like 6th grade, I was 3rd). They also used to bully me for liking unicorns. Feels like the whole school just liked to bully me because I wasn't the norm 😭 whatever. The owners and adults really egged it on because they hated my parents too. My mom is taller than my dad, and my mom makes more money than him. The boys used to kill frogs, and I got in trouble for crying when they did. My favorite teachers husband got caught with CSAM. They used to do plays A LOT. Their actual education was shit and has actually left me very deficient in areas like mathematics. Too busy doing worship and plays. But I REALLY wanted a part in the play! The only people that ever got a part were the skinny white blonde girls and boys. I was always a little chubby, but I gained so much weight at one point (probably the stress). I confronted my music teacher about her choices and that I really wanted a part in the play, and I got screamed at for being "jealous." I was like 9.

• I feel like the weight of everything only got worse when I hit puberty. Of course it would. The principal was always upset that my parents (my mom) taught me about my body. She didn't tell her daughter what a period was until she was like 12. TWELVE. When I got my first period, I was at school. I was 11. Luckily, it wasn't heavy at all. But the culture around periods from the other girls who desperately wanted theirs yet were ashamed of them made me hide it and deny it for a good few months. Like truly, I was bleeding and said it was just an injury. I didn't want the change. My 6th grade history teacher told the girls to "obey your husband" and whatnot. All of the women there had straight-up breeding kinks. I think that's where my deep-rooted hatred for motherhood and femaleness started. Now I'm working through it. Its a general culture issue too so still not fond of it.

Also, the evil daughter came back and physically abused me again. Shocker. I was making some nasty amalgamation with ranch dressing at lunch and she ripped the fuck outta my hair. Nasty woman. Her sons were pieces of violent shit too.

The aftermath

I left after 6th grade. Went to a public school. Worst year of my life. You never realize when something is healthy yet painful until you're grown. It was so alien at first. And, of course, I didn't fit in. I kept going to the church meetups for my old school just to see old friends again. At this point, I was becoming a cocky preteen, so I just caused trouble. Their new church service would separate boys and girls. I was angry because a boy I liked (ended up being a republican SHOCKER! Moved to my public school and cut me off when he learned I was into girls too) was then separated, and I couldn't talk to him. I then proceeded to make the WHOLE meetup time for the girls into an argument against the genders being separated. They HATED my ass 😭 they kept saying that we have different brains and how we need to be prepared for different things. What made me most disgusted was a girl around 5 telling me it was so we could "become ladies." I stopped going after that mostly because they told my mom how much I sucked. My mom didn't gaf lmfao. I just felt gross going. And that was how I finally escaped.

Im still working through things, I'm still unpacking memories. There's plenty more, I was there until I was 12. And for those wondering if I'm still religious... Im not quite sure myself. I still think there's gotta be some spiritual shit going on. But I don't believe the Bible is truth. I don't believe there's a hell. Maybe I'm clinging to some hope that I'll see loved ones again. Idk.

And again, for those who need to know what school it was: Family Christian Academy in Orlando, FL. Avoid them like the plague.

for ex christian radfems

what are some of your most craziest youth group stories?

i'll go first:

i was in middle school and we had a sermon on sexual sin and purity culture.

...never understood why we stupid preteens needed to know that, especially if it was unprompted and out of the blue without parental consent

(interested in also hearing from vacation bible school and general youth group vacation stories)

[decapitatedtea]

I don't think they get it....

The power lies in the fact you embody everything he is not capable of being.

He is sick gets rejected knows it's because he is sick but plays all of the other cards. Then makes victims of people if color because his community pacifys him....

They were never in agreement with the sanctions given to tribal Africa they never planned to groom themselves in said truths that were given to tribal people by our Creator. No they purposes only 1 thing to slaughter tribal people use them as mass transferring their energy to. Taking cold of heart 🚿s. Mock cleansing steal birth right.

Had Martin Luther King Jr and other religious people had a focus different than church and saw their true intent. We be that much more ahead. But the fact that LET MY PEOPLE GO has been violated spearheaded by the Order to Repent puts it in retroactive status especially with all the desegregation acts that led to harm brought to African people.

The fact that they persecute maime murder and make agreements with immortal beings who are the true weaker form of being against African people speaks to prove their intent purpose is nothing but Eve regulated.

The table talks in our residence should really bout what to lay in prayer before our Creator to benefit our families because we can't be unequally yoked. They hold so much chit against us including the fact that we are in this country. Meanwhile how many verbs are used to assign proper credit for acts manifested that do not meet up to the standards to be in your presence to begin with. The truth is they present themselves as though to say they are the embodiment of disobedience and you are supposed to know who they are and what they represent but at the same time remain silent so to allow them to pop off whatever their underprivileged undervalued incapable selves want to against you because they can't help themselves to be the embodiment of evil.

At the end of the day your truth as a chosen person of generational truths responsible in and out of the face of all the other Nations is going to always be responsible. Meanwhile as they say that you are held bound to certain manifestations they lay claim that they are not going to have to be responsible for rising unto.

But this is where they ARE DEAD SOUL WRONG!

Although it was purposefully Africa repentance. Those who do not offer no assistance to themselves but to oppose HIM ultimately betray HIM resulting in some manifestation of betrayal against members of their own community. Esteeming no one devalue the land and remove all allies from their fanfare. This all done by themselves WITHOUT a single prayer of safety of request to be held responsible and accountable. They think it's about the finger pointing name blaming fault finding when the real truth it's about responsibility and accountability and they can't do any of it.

Skip denying the abolition pathways of meeting to hold truthful talks and present their convo as though everyday was Halloween. Baby the value of sitting in their presence would have been nothing nothing but gifting them the very acclaim to their family rise to exactly what they say they wanted. Do you understand that they put the US Constitution against African people and should it not been for the fact that Europe was invited by Christopher Columbus our time in this land would be nothing but total fuckery.

Look the first Dollar bill marked Europe England they revealed their hand with the new dollar bill that came out with the design and words we see today. To speak of their union with Babylon against African people. Looking for our loyalty to our Creator to manifest the most prized work of the New Beginning our children born free of the curse of beguile. Literally immaculate lil chits lil farts running around in total opposite of their children born suffering curses because they enjoy betraying immortal beings they were supposed to assist by way of being a, living soul to receive their highly sought after treasure. Failing only proving good for nothing but to be cast out and trampled underfoot of the very immortal beings they enjoyed having sex with and speaking their lofty words to.

Our community would best to prepare their children to helm the truth. Provide means to esteem worth through the Emancipation Proclamation using every tool provided to ensure segregation was the path we kept to in bouts of truth being retained. So when it came to ensuring they wanted black away from them baby make no accusations we hold that to esteem as their compliance we take note of every deed to comply we, show their profitability and we make it known very clear that they know exactly the truth but openly choose to betray it.

The heart wants what it wants only their right bitch don't play. I know it's not a single when the fact of the matter is they since 1998 have been told they are betrayers 1995 been told they are foolish bridesmaid and they intentionally went after Donnie to gun her down who stayed on E 59th St as though it was her and not the 3 heads known as Gilligan Charlie Brown Urkel who was in that bedroom. They already decided to stay in opposition of the truth and their community agreed to assist them. By 1999 when they left KC and went to Chitown using what they derm Southside Chicago birthright money by having anal stimulation, fellatio and even sex finger pointing unrighteous acts of persecution against the members of US Navy blaming Southside Chicago but they are from Kansas & Missouri traveling into Canada causing acts against African people in Canada opposing the Emancipation Proclamation while trying to say Murray was the facilitator benefactor of their activity.

They knew what would be next. In truth Noxzema is an immortal being not a person but rather a monkey with a white face in the jungles of the Amazon. They tried to act like they never knew that their job of being born is to feed the sheep. Sheep meaning engraved of the stone 5 group 🦐🐢🕷🐚🐤 put their failure to say that it was people who are African failing to meet the level of obligation by being a living soul. But they are the ones who bring nothing spoken to fulfillment instead of having children suffering lack of lack knowledge used their children esteem lack of knowledge used and put things together that make you question the saneness of their actions. You know that crucifying is only done by the righteous hands of our Creator so that no one is blamed just as HE guided Abraham to the ram not his son. But know these folk measure up to all sorts of acts and think they are the fucking chit we should run n hide. When the fact is get your family birth right legacy Herald your future in HIS KINGDOM should been what we held fast to.

True no one wants to be murdered by way of harm or touching especially them. They know that betrayers don't belong on the planet by way of experience in the shoes of the betrayer and know that time their family hides their secret that they steal from other people. You are other people. But you haven't figured out how to hold them to truth. Hold them to say they repented. Hold them to being betrayers removing themselves from knowing our Creator and speak it clearly FATHER YOU MAY SEE MY LIKENESS BEING USED BY YOUR ENEMIES TO SAY THAT MY PRESENCE IN THIS COUNTRY ON THIS PLANET GIFTS THEM ACCESS TO ME. WHEREBY THEIR FAMILY AGREED TO SECURE THEIR DAILY ACTIVITY BREATHING AIR. PUTS MYSELF FAMILY FRIENDS IN DANGER OF HAVING OUR LIKENESS REMOVED AS THOUGH WE OPPOSE OUR FREEDOM OF BEGUILE BRINGING WHAT YOU HAVE ALLOWED UNDER MISMANAGEMENT. FROM THE EAST TO THE WEST SOUTH TO THE NORTH WE ARE BEING ERRONEOUSLY CRUCIFIED BY HARM AND TOUCHING WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO MAKE IT TO THE ALTAR.

By them using our likenesses puts them as, responsible to manage truthfully but failed hold them accountable and responsible please do not put my work belief in your words to shame as though I oppose you n find your ways detestable offering my family body broken n bloodshed. Search the heart of they who stand in presence of likenesses approved for even the Jewels are not in favor of such deception as, seen in Philadelphia.

Use immortal realms space to hold contempt against those who live by the New Covenant separating from their vessel innocent people who preferred to be found in your Will otherwise would be well established there in. They called big boy who is an nephilim born child immortally a whole problem he literally was not representing because he he had no mortal vessel unlike them to be in.

[wolfstar-in-color]

July Colorful Column: Remus is a Crip, and We Can Write Him Better.

There is one thing that can get me to close a fic so voraciously I don’t even make sure I’m not closing other essential tabs in the process. It doesn’t matter how much I’m loving the fic, how well written I think it is, or how desperately I want to know how it ends. Once I read this sentence, I am done.

It’s written in a variety of different ways, but it always goes something like this: “You don’t want me,” Remus said, “I am too sick/broken/poor/old/[insert chosen self-demeaning adjective here].”

You’re familiar with the trope. The trope is canonical. And if you’ve been around the wolfstar fandom for longer than a few minutes, you’ve read the trope. Maybe you love the trope! Maybe you’ve written the trope! Maybe you’re about to stop reading this column, because the trope rings true to you and you feel a little attacked!

Now, let’s get one thing out of the way right now: I am not saying the trope is wrong. I am not saying it’s bad. I am not saying we should stop writing it. We all have things we don’t like to see in our chosen fics. Maybe you can’t stand Leather Jacket Motorbike Sirius? Maybe you think Elbow Patch Remus is overdone? Or maybe your pet peeves are based in something a little deeper - maybe you think Poor Latino Remus is an irresponsible depiction, or that PWPs are too reductive? Whatever it is, we all have our things.

Let me tell you about my thing. When I first became very ill several years ago, there were various low points in which I felt I had become inherently unlovable. This is, more or less, a normal reaction. When your body stops doing things it used to be able to do - or starts doing things you were quite alright without, thank you very much - it changes the way you relate to your body. You don’t want to hear my whole disability history, so yada yada yada, most people eventually come to accept their limitations. It’s a very painful existence, one in which you constantly tell yourself your disability has transformed you into a burdensome, unworthy member of society, and if nothing else, it’s not terribly sustainable. Being disabled takes grit! It takes power! It takes a truly absurd amount of medical self-advocacy! Hating yourself? Thinking yourself unworthy of love? No one has time for that. 

Of course, I’m being hyperbolic. Plenty of disabled people struggle with these feelings many years into their disabilities, and never really get over them. But here’s the thing. We experience those stories ALL THE TIME. Remember Rain Man? Or Million Dollar Baby? Or that one with the actress from Game of Thrones and that British actor who seemed like he was going to have a promising career but then didn't? Those are all stories about sad, bitter disabled people and their sad, bitter lives, two out of three of which end in the character completing suicide because they simply couldn’t imagine having to live as a disabled person. (I mean, come on media, I get that we're less likely to enjoy a leisurely Saturday hike, but our parking is SUBLIME.) When was the last time you engaged with media that depicted a happy disabled person? A complex disabled person? A disabled person who has sex? No really, these aren’t hypothetical questions, can you please drop a rec in the notes?? Because I am desperate.

There are lots of problems with this trope, and they’ve been discussed ad nauseam by people with PhDs. I’m not actually interested in talking about how this trope leads to a more prevalent societal idea that disabled people are unworthy of love, or contributes to the kind of political thought processes that keep disabled people purposefully disenfranchised. I’m just a bitch on Tumblr, and I have a bone to pick: the thing I really hate about the trope? It’s boring. I’m bored. You know how, like, halfway through Grey’s Anatomy you realized they were just recycling the same plot points over and over again and there was just no WAY anyone working at a hospital prone to THAT MANY disasters would stay on staff? It's like that. I love a recycled trope as much as the next person (There Was Only One Bed, anyone?). But I need. Something. Else.

Remus is disabled. BOLD claim. WILD speculation. Except, not really. You simply - no matter how you flip it, slice it, puree it, or deconstruct it - cannot tell me Remus Lupin is not disabled. Most of us, by this point, are probably familiar with the way that One Canonical Author intended One Dashing Werewolf to be “a metaphor for those illnesses that carry stigma, like HIV and AIDS” [I’m sorry to link you to an outside source quoting She Who Must Not Be Named, but we’re professionals here]. Which is... a thing. It’s been discussed. And, listen, there’s no denying that this parallel is a problematic interpretation of people who have HIV/AIDS and all such similar “those illnesses” (though I’ll admit that I, too, am perennially apt to turn into a raging beast liable to harm anything that crosses my path, but that’s more linked to the at-least-once-monthly recollection that One Day At A Time got cancelled). Critiques aside, Remus Lupin is a character who - due to a condition that affects him physically, mentally, emotionally, and intellectually - is repeatedly marginalized, oppressed, denied political and social power, and ostracized due to unfounded fear that he is infectious to others. Does that sound familiar?

We’re not going to argue about whether or not “Remus is canonically disabled as fuck” is a fair reading. And the reason we’re not going to argue about whether or not it’s a fair reading is because I haven’t read canon in 10-plus years and you will win the argument. Canon is only marginally relevant here. The icon of this blog is brown, curly haired Remus Lupin kissing his trans boyfriend, Sirius Black. We are obviously not too terribly invested in canon. The wolfstar fandom is now a community with over 25,000 AO3 fics, entire careers launched from drawing or writing or cosplaying this non-canonical pairing. We love to play around here with storylines and universes and races and genders and sexualities and all kinds of things, but most of the time? Remus is still disabled. He’s disabled as a werewolf in canon-compliant works, he’s disabled in the AUs where he was injured or abused or kidnapped or harmed as a child, he’s disabled in the stories that read him as chronically ill or bipolar or traumatized or blind or Deaf. I’d go so far as to say that he is one of very few characters in the Wide Wonderful World of media who is, in as close to his essence as one can be, always disabled. And that means? Don’t shoot the messenger... but we could stand to be a tiny bit more responsible with how we portray him. 

Disabled people are complicated. As much as I’d like to pretend we are always level-headed, confident, and ready to assert our inherent worth, we are still just humans. We have bad days. We doubt our worth. We sometimes go out with guys who complain about our steroid-induced weight gain (it was a long time ago, Tumblr, okay??). But, we also have joy and fun and good days and sex and happiness and families and so many other things. 

Remus is a disabled character, and as such, it’s only fair that he’d have those unworthy moments. But - I propose - Remus is also a crip. What is a crip? A crip - like a queer - is someone who eschews the limited boundaries placed on their bodies, who rejects a hierarchy of oppression in favor of an intersectional analysis of lived experience, who isn’t interested in being the tragic figure responsible for helping people with dominant identities realize how good they have it. Crips interpret their disabilities however they want, rethinking bodies and medicine and pleasure and pain and even time itself. Crips are political, community-minded, and in search of liberation. 

Remus is a character who struggles with his disability, sure. But he’s also a character who leverages his physical condition to attempt to shift communities towards his political leanings, advocates for the rights of those who share his physical condition, and has super hot sex with his wrongfully convicted boyfriend ultimately goes on to build community and family. Having a condition that quite literally cripples you, over which you have no control, and through which you are often read as a social pariah? That’s disability. But using said condition as a means through which to build advocacy and community? Now that’s some crip shit. 

Personally, I love disabled!Remus Lupin. But I love crip!Remus Lupin even more. I’d love to see more of a Remus who owns his disability, who covets what makes him unique, and who never ever again tells a potential romantic partner they are too good for him because of his disability. This trope - unlike There Was Only One Bed! - sometimes actually hurts to read. Where’s Remus who thinks a potential romantic partner isn’t good enough for him? Where’s Remus who insists his partners learn more about his condition in order to treat him properly? Where’s sexy wheelchair user Remus? Where’s Remus who uses his werewolf transformations as an excuse to travel the world? Where’s crip Remus??

We don’t have to put “you don’t want me” Remus entirely to bed. It is but one of many repeated tropes that are - in the words of The Hot Priest from Fleabag - morally a bit dubious. And let’s face it - we don’t always come to fandom for its moral superiority (as much as we sometimes like to think we do). 

This is not a condemnation - it is an invitation. Able-bodied folks are all but an injury, illness, or couple decades away from being disabled. And when you get here, I sincerely hope you don’t waste your time on “you don’t want me”ing back and forth with the people you love. I’m inviting you to come to the crip side now. We have snacks, and without all the “you don’t want me” talk, we get to the juicy parts much faster. 

Colorfully,

Mod Theo